Thursday, July 7, 2005

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:14🔗 Voiceover This is Loveline.

1:18🔗 Adam With Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, phone number, 1-800-L-E-E-1-9-1, Dr. Drew, board certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist.

1:32🔗 Drew And well done.

1:33🔗 Adam Thank you. All right. What's up? What's going on?

1:36🔗 Drew Not much. It's a good time to get it on. Let's go.

1:38🔗 Adam Get it on.

1:39🔗 Drew 1-866-HEY-ADAM. Are we still looking for that?

1:43🔗 Adam I don't know. I think we got... I'm taping a pilot tomorrow night for Comedy Central and we need some live phone calls. So if you want to call in, you can call that number, but I think we got enough. But why not?

1:57🔗 Drew Is it like Loveline questions kind of thing or just any kind of questions?

2:00🔗 Adam Any kind of questions, I think.

2:01🔗 Drew Like car woodworking questions?

2:04🔗 Adam I don't know.

2:04🔗 Drew Car questions?

2:05🔗 Adam I don't know. It's going to be a disaster. 1-866-HEY-ADAM. All right, Drew, you ready to go?

2:12🔗 Drew Let's go to phones.

2:12🔗 Adam Let's go to phones. Talk to Brittany, who's 18. Brittany?

2:17🔗 Caller Hello?

2:18🔗 Adam What's up?

2:20🔗 Caller Yes, I've been involved with my boyfriend for almost a year now. And I have this toy, which is a Zildo. And...

2:29🔗 Caller Oh, no, you didn't!

2:31🔗 Caller Sometimes I feel as if he is more amazed by it than I am. And I really care about this guy a lot. But I'm starting to feel as if this may be a problem.

2:45🔗 Drew What's he doing with it?

2:47🔗 Caller Going up the other area.

2:49🔗 Drew With you. He's putting it in you and other areas.

2:51🔗 No.

2:51🔗 Caller He likes for me to put it into him.

2:56🔗 Does it go in the butt?

2:58🔗 Caller Yes.

2:59🔗 Adam No.

2:59🔗 Caller And I'm starting to feel as if it is really starting to scare me.

3:03🔗 Drew In what way?

3:03🔗 Caller I'm not sure if it's something that I have to worry about, or is it more or less a fetish.

3:10🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Let's try to figure out, and what do you mean in what way?

3:15🔗 Drew What are you afraid of?

3:16🔗 Caller My boyfriend, I'm afraid that I may get left for a guy. I mean, I really care about this guy. What? And I don't want to lose him?

3:27🔗 Drew Is there any other signs that he's gay?

3:30🔗 Caller No. Not really. I mean, I haven't noticed. I mean, I've never really been around anyone who's gay, so I really don't know what the signs are.

3:38🔗 Drew Well, Adam, you have a test for this.

3:41🔗 Adam Yeah. It's right here. Look at the area.

3:44🔗 Caller Fill that space, all right? The whole idea about creating focal points in your room is keeping your eye trained for those little details. It's those little details that make the home yours.

3:56🔗 Drew I remember the test.

3:57🔗 Adam That make the home yours. Got the home part right. Just needed the O at the end of it. Yeah, I remember the test. Well, let's see. Drinking a lot of diet soda.

4:09🔗 Drew Picture frames.

4:09🔗 Adam A lot of yoga. A lot of framing. Obsession with framing.

4:13🔗 Caller No, not really.

4:14🔗 Adam Not framing.

4:15🔗 Drew House plants.

4:17🔗 Adam Not including pot or cactus.

4:19🔗 Drew Right.

4:20🔗 Caller No, but I mean that's for like wanting to put certain things, like decorating. Yeah, but it's not much. A little.

4:29🔗 Adam Does he have a squeegee in the shower?

4:32🔗 Drew Yes.

4:32🔗 Caller No.

4:33🔗 Drew Okay, that's good.

4:34🔗 Adam Ever wear a mock turtleneck?

4:37🔗 Caller No, never. I won't allow him to wear that.

4:39🔗 Drew Have you ever had a me day?

4:41🔗 Adam Did you take me days? A me day. A what? Just a day for him to relax.

4:47🔗 Caller No, I mean, other than me being at work and he's off, that would be about it.

4:53🔗 Adam You know, really, here's how you can really tell the gay guys. She's a grown guy. How well does he take care of his face?

5:01🔗 Caller Pretty good.

5:02🔗 Adam A lot of buffing, a lot of exfoliating?

5:06🔗 Caller No.

5:08🔗 Caller So that's pretty stale.

5:10🔗 Caller He's not gay.

5:12🔗 Adam He's not gay. Gay guys shine.

5:13🔗 Drew Just because he puts things in his rear end while he's with a woman, you know.

5:18🔗 Caller But I mean, to me, it feels like, you know, sometimes it is because I feel as if, you know, sometimes he enjoys it more than I do.

5:24🔗 Drew By the way, Brittany, most gay men don't have anal intercourse. They just have oral sex.

5:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Most. But me, I'm 65%. Oh, who knows? Listen, Brittany, here's the thing. You can take... It is a sign, not necessarily that he's gay, but one of those... something's up. Okay?

5:46🔗 Drew Definitely make note.

5:47🔗 Adam Make note there's something up. And make note that this guy may not be, you know, Class A dad material or something like that. Maybe don't let him get you pregnant. You know, maybe just hang out for a little while with this guy.

6:02🔗 Drew See if anything else turns up.

6:03🔗 Adam See what happens. And by the way, if he's going to use it on himself before you use it again, give it that drag under your armpit. You know what I mean? On your t-shirt. You know, you gotta wipe it down.

6:12🔗 Drew You don't have a sheath.

6:14🔗 Adam No, no, before you use it.

6:16🔗 Drew Just out of the arm.

6:17🔗 Adam You know, once you get it out of him, give it that arm thing.

6:21🔗 Drew Well, he hasn't turned it on her yet, has he?

6:24🔗 Adam Not in that area. I just mean it's hers.

6:26🔗 Drew But he will turn it on her.

6:27🔗 Adam It's hers.

6:28🔗 Drew But if he's not gay, he's going to turn it on her in some fashion.

6:31🔗 Adam Well, it's hers.

6:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:33🔗 Adam What do you keep saying? Turn it on her? It's hers.

6:36🔗 Drew She uses it.

6:37🔗 Adam It's her dildo.

6:38🔗 Drew All right.

6:39🔗 Adam Brittany, it's yours, right?

6:41🔗 Caller Yeah, it's mine.

6:43🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. Like I said, give it the wipe.

6:45🔗 Drew All right.

6:46🔗 Adam Seriously, how are you cleaning this thing?

6:49🔗 Caller Oh, honestly, I've used it maybe a couple of times before, and that would be running hot, you know, hot water.

6:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, I mean, you got to get the autoclave now. I don't know if this thing's going to melt, but whatever they put dental instruments in, I mean...

7:06🔗 Drew Gluraldehyde.

7:07🔗 Adam It's scary. You can't go from up there to in there, right?

7:10🔗 Drew That's actually interesting. That's a way you could transmit, eh, interesting things, bad things.

7:14🔗 Adam It's a bad route. You think the oral-fecal route is bad.

7:18🔗 Drew This is the fecal-vaginal route.

7:19🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, many, many settler died on that trail trying to make their way out to the West Coast.

7:27🔗 Drew Lewis and Clark, what do you think happened to them?

7:28🔗 Adam Yeah. No, no, no, that's a different trail. Oh. This is the settling the West. They did the Mississippi, didn't they?

7:36🔗 Drew Well, but then they came all the way to Oregon.

7:38🔗 Adam Did they get all the way? Oh, they got to Oregon by the way.

7:39🔗 Drew To the West?

7:40🔗 Adam I'm talking about getting out to California. Yeah. Susan?

7:46🔗 Drew Hello?

7:46🔗 Adam Susan?

7:47🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

7:47🔗 Adam You're 18? What's up?

7:49🔗 Caller No, me?

7:50🔗 Adam Yeah, you.

7:52🔗 Caller No, I'm 25. I didn't say I was 18.

7:55🔗 Drew All right. Good times.

7:57🔗 Caller Okay. One of my questions is that when I masturbate, when I orgasm, I kind of pee all over the place.

8:08🔗 Drew Nice. There we go.

8:10🔗 Caller And I've had two caesarean sections. I have twins and an infant.

8:16🔗 Drew That's how you get... Would you have stress incontinence during the rest of the day, like when you cough or laugh, you lose a little bit of urine? Yeah, I do. So that's a generalizing incontinence that you have, and there are surgeries for that, and there's medication for that. You may want to talk to your doctor about it.

8:30🔗 Caller Okay. And another thing, another question, the screener didn't think it was very interesting, I guess.

8:39🔗 Drew I want to hear it. I want to hear it now.

8:41🔗 Adam I've got to punish her just a little bit.

8:46🔗 Drew One one thousand.

8:47🔗 Adam And the listeners by proxy. Alright, what was it that the screener didn't think was very interesting?

8:55🔗 Caller Well, I have just rage. I mean rage. Where I actually am shaking and I just want to kill people and I have just major depression and sometimes I can't get out of bed and it's a problem because I have to take my kids to school. I mean I'm around my children.

9:15🔗 Drew Alright, Susan, you've got to take care of this. This is the history.

9:18🔗 Adam It will break your kids.

9:19🔗 Drew Well, this is the history of somebody that when we read about in the paper, people killing their kids. This is what goes on.

9:23🔗 Caller No, no, no.

9:24🔗 Drew Susan?

9:25🔗 Adam Susan?

9:25🔗 Caller It's not towards my children.

9:27🔗 Drew Susan? You're talking about uncontrollable rages. And if one goes really out of control, there's nothing you can do about it. So this really requires treatment. You have got on behalf of your kids and their safety. And it does freak them out having a rageful mom, completely freaks them out.

9:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:42🔗 Drew So you've got to get some treatment for this. And if not, you're taking their safety and well-being in their own hands because you're too proud to go in and just get a little treatment.

9:51🔗 Adam How about you crack out a third kid? I think that's going to kill you.

9:54🔗 Drew That'll help it.

9:55🔗 Adam Want that help?

9:55🔗 Caller No, I'm actually practicing celibacy. I have since my daughter was born.

10:01🔗 Drew All right. Go get treatment. Get some help. You need some medication.

10:05🔗 Caller I was hospitalized about six different times since I was a teenager.

10:10🔗 Drew Okay.

10:10🔗 Caller And I've been on just about every kind of antidepressant.

10:14🔗 Adam Baby, you're depressed. You've got to get help.

10:16🔗 Drew And this may not be, this may be mood-stabilizing medicine and maybe things like Zyprexa or Risperidol to kind of contain the rages. A lot of other things can be done other than just antidepressant. Do you need to see an expert?

10:27🔗 Caller Okay. I don't have insurance and I'm actually going to a therapist. It's free. It's like $5 a visit.

10:36🔗 Drew All right. We'll ask for a referral to somebody who also is $5 a visit or less for medication. The university is typical of departments of psychiatry. We can go and visit and get free or low-cost free.

10:47🔗 Adam $5 a visit. Out in LA, you couldn't speak to the Mexican guy with the sombrero that was tipped over his head and was napping on a cactus. That's like $9 a visit. That guy just sitting there, just leaning against the cactus.

11:02🔗 Drew They keep showing this data on Americans that are not insured. A lot of that is people who just don't go get the insurance. They just don't set it up.

11:10🔗 Adam Well, look, here's the thing. Coming from a formerly poor person from poor parents and a poor family, three quarters of the people who aren't insured aren't insured the same way half the people never been to Hawaii. They just didn't go.

11:27🔗 Drew They just didn't do it.

11:28🔗 Adam Yeah. It's not like, these people can't afford the airfare and the money for the hotels. No, they just never went. If they wanted to go, they would have went.

11:38🔗 Drew I mean, health insurance is like 200 bucks a month.

11:40🔗 Adam Oh, not even.

11:41🔗 Drew Yeah. And they spend that money on...

11:43🔗 Adam Depending on what you're doing, how old you are and all that kind of stuff.

11:46🔗 Drew Yeah, for a young couple. They spend that money on everything else except that.

11:50🔗 Adam No, I know. The whole thing about this country is we look at people that don't have stuff and act like we're forcing them not to have that stuff.

11:58🔗 Drew Or not allowing them access to it.

11:59🔗 Adam Or not allowing them access to it. Nothing could be cheaper and more abundant than just about everything in this goddamn country. I don't care if it's DVD players or health insurance. Get a job and go get some. Or get a job that has some. Yeah, there's a percentage of people that is sort of unemployable that have for, you know, circumstances beyond their control.

12:22🔗 Drew They're on Medicare Medi-Cal. They're set. They're all fine. It's any between one who thinks that insurance is for the Rothschilds when in fact it isn't for them.

12:30🔗 Adam Well, here's the rally. The rally is, is when you're making, you know, four or five hundred bucks a week and I was in this boat for many years, except for it was more like two to two fifty a week. The idea of putting money out for anything that didn't give you something in return immediately was unthinkable. But the idea of investing money seemed unthinkable. The idea of insurance seemed unthinkable.

12:57🔗 Drew But the irony is you'd spend a day not working, going down to county, spending a hundred bucks to get treatment that's suboptimal. You know what I mean? You'd spend as much money as the insurance and more time.

13:10🔗 Adam You're thinking like a white guy. When you're really poor, you just don't think that way.

13:18🔗 Drew You don't think you're entitled to access. You're entitled.

13:20🔗 Adam It's not that you don't think you're entitled. It's just there's a few things. First off, paperwork intimidating. You have to fill out things and get checkups.

13:29🔗 Drew By the way, a lot of health insurance is like, no, I'm sorry, and then they would just stop. You have to find the one that takes you.

13:34🔗 Adam You would immediately stop. And the other thing is the idea, whether it's car insurance, health insurance, whatever it is, anything that involves putting money away for college or anything. The idea of putting money aside for something that you hope you never use is unthinkable. You need money for junk.

13:51🔗 Drew Finding health insurance for people and signing them up for it, that's a business. You charge people ten bucks and you would have a million people want your help.

13:59🔗 Adam Get going on that. Ryan?

14:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:02🔗 Adam You're 27?

14:03🔗 Drew Right.

14:04🔗 Adam What's up?

14:06🔗 Caller My question now, I'm trying to kind of leer away from you, but for Drew...

14:11🔗 Drew I know, that's it. Sorry, Ryan. He's got control of the board there.

14:15🔗 Adam Do not leer, and I suppose you meant veer, away from the man who controls the board.

14:21🔗 Drew Right. See, when a guy is in command, I'm not sure you want to tip him off to what you're doing. He might get a reaction, which is what he got.

14:29🔗 Adam That's right. Yeah.

14:30🔗 Drew I'm sorry about that.

14:31🔗 Adam Well, it's all right. Joe?

14:33🔗 Yeah.

14:34🔗 Adam 26?

14:35🔗 Yes.

14:36🔗 Adam Now, listen, Brian from Colorado doesn't mean we're not going to get back to you.

14:40🔗 Drew He just toned up on you.

14:41🔗 Adam He just leered away.

14:44🔗 Joe?

14:45🔗 Caller Yes.

14:46🔗 Adam Sorry, buddy boy. Go ahead.

14:48🔗 Caller That's cool.

14:49🔗 Well, here's my question. So, I play sports and last summer I developed these warts on my foot, right?

14:56🔗 Drew Well, now what? You mean planter's warts? Painful warts?

15:00🔗 Exactly.

15:00🔗 So, I went to a dermatologist.

15:01🔗 Adam What's your experience with a regular wart and a planter's wart?

15:03🔗 Drew Planter's warts are completely different things. They're deep, way deep in the soft tissue and they're these white things that hurt when you step on them.

15:09🔗 Yeah.

15:10🔗 Fortunately, they don't hurt too much, but they're real pain. They're real pain. So, I went to a dermatologist and he tried to deep freeze or whatever and then he asked me have they sped to my boss, right?

15:22🔗 And I'm like...

15:23🔗 Drew Sped to what?

15:24🔗 To my, you know, what can I say on the radio?

15:26🔗 I don't know.

15:27🔗 To my ankle.

15:29🔗 Adam You had them on your foot, right?

15:31🔗 They had them on my ankle, right? Well, he asked me if they sped to my penis or not and I said no and I was like, that seemed like a strange question to me.

15:38🔗 Drew He did not ask you that.

15:40🔗 He did.

15:41🔗 Adam No. From your foot?

15:43🔗 Drew From a planter's wart to your penis?

15:46🔗 It seemed like a strange thing to me too. Obviously, I said no.

15:49🔗 Drew I will have to look up whether there is some association. I have never heard of that association.

15:53🔗 Adam Well, maybe he just said to the guy over the phone, I got a wart.

15:56🔗 Drew Yeah, you have warts on your penis.

15:58🔗 Yeah. No. The only place I have ever seen these is on my foot. It did not seem to spread except around the bottom of my foot.

16:03🔗 Drew Did he ask you to spread your penis? Joe, did he ask you to spread your penis or do you have them on your penis?

16:09🔗 No, right. And so like a couple months later...

16:11🔗 Joe.

16:13🔗 Adam Joe's 26. Where do you think he's from?

16:17🔗 Drew I'm not sure if English is his first language. Doesn't seem to be.

16:20🔗 Adam Joe seems to be.

16:21🔗 Drew He's got trouble understanding.

16:21🔗 Adam Beats down or something. Joe. Yeah. Slow down for a second. Take a deep breath.

16:26🔗 Drew We're talking to you and you just talk all over it and don't seem to hear us. Okay.

16:30🔗 Adam You had a wart on your foot from playing sports.

16:34🔗 Drew Yeah. That's a virus.

16:36🔗 Adam You went into the doctor and showed it to him?

16:39🔗 Drew Yeah. And he said he froze it off.

16:42🔗 He tried to. It didn't work.

16:44🔗 Adam All right. Drew, hold on. Shush. Don't get into the froze it off and try to. You went to the doctor. You showed him the wart on your foot and he said, did it spread to your penis?

16:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:57🔗 Drew Did it spread? Those are his words.

17:00🔗 Adam Like as in move from your foot to your penis.

17:03🔗 Drew He did not say...

17:04🔗 Maybe through contact in my hand, maybe? I don't know.

17:06🔗 Adam Possible. Maybe sitting in the lotus position.

17:09🔗 Drew He did not say, do you have them on your penis?

17:13🔗 Right. He asked me if I had noticed them and I said no.

17:16🔗 Drew So he asked them, do you have them on your penis, not did they spread to your penis?

17:23🔗 Uh, I think it did spread and they were never...

17:25🔗 Adam All right.

17:25🔗 All right.

17:26🔗 Adam Well, let's keep going.

17:27🔗 Drew So here's the reason I ask that. As a 26-year-old male who goes to a dermatologist, the probability is he has warts on his penis. And so the guy's going to ask and check that. That has nothing to do, as far as I know, with the wart on your foot. So he's just, he's just going with the odds, the probability is you do have warts on your penis and he wants to treat them while you're in there. It's important to treat those. So he's just as a part of screening, saying, hey, you got them down here. By the way, do you have them on your penis? Different wart, different virus, different everything.

17:52🔗 Caller OK, so they're not related if they showed up. Even if they showed up a couple of months later, that's totally unrelated.

17:57🔗 Drew Well, I'll look it up. I've never heard of a relationship, but I'm glad he's asking about the warts because they need to be controlled.

18:02🔗 Adam Was he a dermatologist?

18:04🔗 Caller Yeah, he was a dermatologist in Los Angeles.

18:07🔗 Adam All right.

18:08🔗 Drew Good times.

18:09🔗 Adam Maybe the dermatologist, every time he sees a wart, just ask if he got them on your hunker.

18:13🔗 Drew Well, I mean, it's every time he sees a 20-year-old, he probably asks that. Because that's what they do.

18:18🔗 Adam Yeah, but if he's got a 20-year-old that comes in there because they have like an ingrown hair on their forehead or something, might not be asking about it.

18:24🔗 Drew You know, you're supposed to do, all of us, physicians are supposed to do STD screening and sexually active adult and birth control counseling.

18:33🔗 Adam Really?

18:33🔗 Drew So, you use that opportunity as a way...

18:35🔗 Adam Somebody comes in with tennis elbow. What happened to tennis elbow?

18:39🔗 Drew I know.

18:40🔗 Adam Somebody comes in with tennis elbow. And you have to say to them what's going on with your vagina?

18:46🔗 Drew You're supposed to say, you know, these are part of health screening. When a six-year-old comes in and sees me, I say, have you had a colonoscopy? They came in with chest pain. I asked if they had a colonoscopy.

18:57🔗 Adam You guys are like the mechanic. They come in for the oil change and they want to know when the last time they rotated their tires were.

19:03🔗 Drew It's more that we're being held accountable for health screening.

19:06🔗 Adam I'm picking up a little business.

19:08🔗 Drew No, it doesn't go to us is the problem.

19:09🔗 Adam I'm picking up a little business. Yeah, the guy you send them to, you send them down the street to the tire place, but it gives you a taste.

19:16🔗 Drew Unfortunately not. That's against the law.

19:17🔗 Adam Let you wet your beak.

19:18🔗 Drew Maybe at the tire place, but the doctors, you got to go to jail for that.

19:21🔗 Adam Let you wet your beak. Johnny?

19:23🔗 Yeah.

19:24🔗 Adam You're 26?

19:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:26🔗 Adam What's up?

19:27🔗 Caller All right. I have a tattoo on my penis. I want to know if I get a lizard off, will it remove the sensation?

19:34🔗 Drew What's the tattoo?

19:35🔗 Caller A lizard.

19:36🔗 Adam I thought it would be one of those finger traps. I don't know why, but it would just be funny. Weird Chinese finger trap. Weird basket, all frayed at the end. You're awesome. Put your finger in one end, it's like your balls are stuck in one end, your finger is stuck in the other.

19:51🔗 Drew Nice.

19:52🔗 Adam A lizard?

19:53🔗 Caller That's correct.

19:54🔗 Drew That must have hurt.

19:55🔗 Caller It did, it did.

19:56🔗 Adam What kind of lizard?

19:58🔗 Caller It's just an all-black lizard. I got it all black because I had a tattoo removed before, and I know that if you get black, the dye comes out easier. So, it's just an all-black one, it runs the length of my shaft.

20:09🔗 Drew So you already had a previous tattoo removed from your shaft?

20:12🔗 Adam No, now there's space.

20:13🔗 Caller No, no, no, on my hand. On the place.

20:15🔗 Adam Drew, you're like a robot.

20:16🔗 Drew I would think that the tattoo would be more likely to cause nerve trouble than the removal myself.

20:22🔗 Caller I haven't really noticed any problems.

20:23🔗 Drew All right, so I wouldn't think the removal would.

20:25🔗 Adam I'm going to get Dr. Bruce to fire up the laser.

20:27🔗 Drew Adam can refer you over to Bruce.

20:29🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm not sure if he does the phallus. Yeah, I'm sure he says yes. Drew knows, somehow. So Johnny, does it, now, how does the, when you get a boner, does it get lighter in color?

20:45🔗 Caller No, but I've only had it for about a year.

20:48🔗 Drew What does that mean?

20:49🔗 Adam No one ever knows.

20:50🔗 Drew You're calling me a robot?

20:51🔗 Adam I know. What was that?

20:53🔗 Drew What does that mean?

20:54🔗 Caller It gets bigger, you know.

20:56🔗 Drew Let's see if that's much more clear.

20:58🔗 Adam No, I know. He's asking if he thinks it's fading. No, nobody thinks. Nobody knows. I've realized, Drew, I've really realized that either nobody listens to me or they don't want to listen.

21:09🔗 Drew Well, they hear a piece of what you said and they interpret through their own little screen.

21:14🔗 Adam That's fine for the radio, but then I get home and the same thing goes on again. Just nobody knows what I'm talking about. I think I'm being crystal clear about everything and everyone just says, I've realized people's ability to listen and then sort of execute. What you're talking about is some sort of dying art form.

21:33🔗 Drew It's listening and then understanding what you're saying.

21:36🔗 Adam And then executing.

21:37🔗 Drew And knowing whether you do fully understand what's been asked. That's the part that's missing. It's like, I hear you, but I'm not sure if I got it all, but I can't tell that I didn't get it all.

21:46🔗 Adam I now talk to everyone as a nine-year-old. I just talk to them, do you understand what I'm saying? Okay, what did I just say? Okay, repeat it back, I'm talking to 40-year-old guys that way. Very sad, Drew, very sad. Johnny, this lizard of yours, I'm saying when you get an erection, doesn't it stretch out and thus seem to come a little lighter in color?

22:11🔗 No.

22:12🔗 Adam No?

22:12🔗 Caller No, I understand where you're going with your question and no, it doesn't.

22:16🔗 Adam Just as dark, all right.

22:17🔗 Caller Just as dark.

22:18🔗 Drew But by the way, Johnny, you didn't understand because you answered last time, I've only had it for a year.

22:21🔗 Adam Well, he knows it now. He understands now.

22:24🔗 Caller I want to run game with Adam sometime. I bet I could stay on a level with him.

22:27🔗 Adam I bet you.

22:28🔗 Drew Run game?

22:29🔗 Adam I don't know.

22:31🔗 Caller Wait, before you guys cut me off.

22:33🔗 Adam I'm not cutting you off.

22:34🔗 Caller About why I got it.

22:35🔗 Drew All right.

22:36🔗 Adam Hold on. I'm not, first off, Drew, am I anywhere near cutting him off?

22:40🔗 Drew No. You're doodling. Your hand is nowhere near the hold button.

22:43🔗 Adam I have multiple questions about this.

22:46🔗 Caller All right.

22:47🔗 Drew Why'd you get it?

22:47🔗 Adam What? Well, what? Now, were you completely flaccid when you got it, or do you have to have a little blood in there?

22:53🔗 Caller Okay. Okay. Well, the artist, and this was done in Berlin.

23:00🔗 Drew Military.

23:02🔗 Caller That's funny. The artist basically has to stretch it out, and he inks you up, you know, he pulls on it and stretches you out. So, yeah, it's flaccid.

23:10🔗 Drew Does he have to put, like, paint it on a board or something?

23:13🔗 Caller No, he just pulled it out with his hands.

23:16🔗 Okay.

23:18🔗 Adam And how much did it cost?

23:20🔗 Caller Oh, it was pretty inexpensive, actually.

23:23🔗 Adam And?

23:23🔗 Caller I have a few other tattoos, and comparatively speaking, they're, uh, it was inexpensive.

23:29🔗 Caller Doesn't this make him gay?

23:30🔗 Adam Do you, uh, yeah. Anderson wants to know. I don't know if anyone here's Anderson.

23:34🔗 Drew Yeah, they do.

23:35🔗 Adam Yeah, good. All right. I don't know if it, it doesn't make, it doesn't make you gay, the tattoo artist gay, anymore than it makes the doctor puts the finger in your ass gay.

23:45🔗 Drew Right. It's just doing his job.

23:47🔗 Adam It's just doing his job. Now, if he has a boner while he's doing his job, then it makes him gay. That's, you know, that's my humble opinion. And, uh, so it's a lizard, it's black, and why do you want to get rid of it?

24:00🔗 Caller Um, because it was, well, it was fairly impulsive, and now that I look at it, I don't like the way it looks, you know?

24:06🔗 Adam Mm-hmm. And it's got to be difficult. Now, you're getting older, you don't want, you know, your children are going to be staring at your penis, you don't want them seeing that lizard between your legs, yes?

24:15🔗 Caller Something like that.

24:16🔗 Adam So to speak. Yeah. All right. Well, uh, you can hit it with the laser.

24:20🔗 Caller Well, let me ask, it's got a, uh... It runs up into the real sensitive area there, right, you know, right where the head is.

24:27🔗 Drew Yep.

24:27🔗 Caller And that's the part that concerns me the most, about getting heat, you know, right there.

24:31🔗 Drew The laser's not hot. It's not really hot.

24:34🔗 Caller It's not hot.

24:35🔗 Drew No.

24:35🔗 Caller I mean, I've had it done before on my hand, so I know it's painful.

24:40🔗 Drew Well, you can put some, you can put some, uh, amla cream on there, the numbing cream.

24:44🔗 Adam Look, here's the deal. Uh, if you're gonna go ahead and get a lizard tattooed on your dork, you're gonna have to be prepared for a certain level of discomfort. You know what I mean?

24:55🔗 Drew Yes.

24:56🔗 Adam You're, um, you're, you're not, you're, you're not, what, I, you know, uh, you're not one of these guys who, uh, of, of your, who, uh, wears the powdered wigs and, uh, the knee-high socks with the big buckled shoes. Uh, you're a certain breed of cat. If you're gonna go to Germany and get a lizard painted on your joint, be prepared for mild discomfort to get the lizard removed.

25:18🔗 Drew There you go.

25:19🔗 Adam All right, and thank Christ, we're living in an age...

25:22🔗 When you get it off.

25:23🔗 Adam When my, back when my dad and his father before him got their lizards painted on to their penis, carved it off.

25:31🔗 Drew Cut off, that's right. They cut it off.

25:33🔗 Adam Not the whole penis, but they had to carve, carve the lizard off.

25:36🔗 Drew That's right.

25:37🔗 Adam All right. Doesn't anyone do, uh, hula dancers anymore? You know what I mean?

25:42🔗 Drew No, it doesn't seem like it.

25:42🔗 Adam It's kind of old school, though.

25:44🔗 Drew Yeah, that was when the militarists in Hawaii so much of the time.

25:47🔗 Adam All right. All right. I'm saying you could hollow the lizard out and sort of reform it into a hula girl. You know, and just take the black out of the center.

25:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:56🔗 Adam Little modification.

25:57🔗 Drew It'd be nice.

25:58🔗 Adam Little pom-poms. I wonder if hula girls invented the pom-poms.

26:02🔗 Drew Those little things they flap around.

26:03🔗 Adam Yeah, they've been flapping them around for like a hundred years.

26:06🔗 Drew Could be right.

26:07🔗 Adam I mean, you know, long before probably cheerleaders hit the gridiron.

26:11🔗 Drew And why do they look like sort of long grass, like seagrass?

26:15🔗 Yeah. Yeah.

26:17🔗 Drew Here you go.

26:17🔗 Adam I'm on to something. Okay. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after this.

26:30🔗 Caller Love Line is brought to you by Playboy. It Girl, Fad Girl, Sexy Girl. Paris Hilton is it, front and center in the March Playboy. Featuring the 25 sexiest celebrities, our annual music poll, and Debbie Gibson all grown up. Playboy on newsstands now.

27:03🔗 Adam Hey everybody, it's the Loveline, I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-R. Next week, dear dear dear, dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear friend Jeff Probst in here, dear friend Debbie Gibson in here gonna be doing Playboy and then, oh David Ross our auction winner Seth Green is gonna be in here as well, dear dear dear dear dear dear dear friend Seth Green saw Survivor tonight. It's always good, yeah, always good, always good.

27:35🔗 Drew It's funny, it's funny, I'm not a Survivor fan but I am an Apprentice fan.

27:39🔗 Adam You would be a Survivor, I could get you over to Survivor.

27:41🔗 Drew No, no, I'm, I'm, no, no, no, no, no.

27:44🔗 Adam You said about the family guy too.

27:45🔗 Drew Alright, okay, man.

27:47🔗 Adam Let me say this about Survivor and all these shows where they group, you know, 12, 18 people together and see, you know, see how they work together. It's very interesting and it's one of the things we talk about a lot on this show, you know, they try to get an interesting, sometimes volatile mix of personalities. On Survivor, this year they have the chick who's all tatted up and all sleeved and has the big aggressive piercings and all that kind of stuff. She initially lands on the island, initially pulls the one gay guy side and says, it's us against them. No, they're not going to accept either one of us. We got to, you know, it's going to, we got to stick together. Adam? Yeah?

28:27🔗 Caller Try not to give too much away. I taped it.

28:29🔗 Adam Oh, sorry, Brad. Well, hold your ears. I'm not going to tell you who got booted. But anyway. I'm not going to tell you this. But they do that's us against the world thing.

28:38🔗 Caller Taped it? How do you do that?

28:40🔗 Adam I'm assuming when he says tape, he says like you bought a record, but you mean CD. He must mean TiVo.

28:48🔗 Caller Okay.

28:50🔗 Adam I think Anderson actually just puts scotch tape on the TV and then peels it off real fast and stares at it. Sometimes it'll grab an image.

28:56🔗 Caller No, I still tape everything because if I get anything good, I can put it on the show. I can bring the tape in.

29:01🔗 Adam Ah, that's good. That's excellent.

29:03🔗 Caller TiVo is useless for me.

29:04🔗 Adam Yeah. No, no, that's great. That's great. It hasn't happened once in the nine years I've been here. But awesome, buddy. I love that kind of thinking.

29:11🔗 Drew So anyway, the tat guy.

29:15🔗 Adam All right, so the tat, the aggressive tat and piercing chick does that thing. You know, she's in there with a bunch of normies, a bunch of guys, stockbrokers, busy men, and all the guys that don't have tats and take care of themselves and all that kind of stuff. Pulls the gay guy aside and says, you know, me and you against the world. Later on, he kind of screws her over a little bit. But when she's doing her sort of testimonial halfway into it after they picked up the tribes, they just picked up tribes. Picked this, picked that guy. She got onto one of the tribes with like 10 people and she's like going, you know, I feel unwanted. I feel alone. I know these people don't want me here. I don't feel like I'm one of them. I know they're talking about me. It's like, you see what I'm talking about? This is what I do. They do their self-fulfilling prophecy. They cover themselves in tats. They become goth. They become wicca. They become whatever they do. Then they're asked to join in and they say nobody wants to...

30:12🔗 Drew Even though they're being welcomed in.

30:13🔗 Adam Well, when they're not being welcomed in, it's easier for them to do the math. But usually they're not being welcomed in because of their anti-social behavior and because of whatever kind of aggressive look they happen to be cultivating at the time. But even when they are welcomed in, they're looking at it as none of these people are my friends. Even if someone says glad to have you, their thing is like, yeah, right, man. So they just bring it on themselves.

30:38🔗 Drew Absolutely.

30:39🔗 Adam Now, when are we going to learn this as a society and start punishing these people even more?

30:45🔗 Drew That's right.

30:45🔗 Adam Instead of going, oh, you poor dear.

30:48🔗 Drew Yeah, not being so superficial with what's going on.

30:52🔗 Adam Well, let's look at it this way. Forget about we're living in this society. Let's just put ourselves in another society. Forget America, forget the world, the globe, continents, everything you know about this. Just go to another planet. That Dr. Seuss invented with the sneeches.

31:10🔗 Drew Yes, where's the sneech?

31:11🔗 Adam And all the sneeches, they're basically the same. They get along, they eat, they crap, they screw. It's all about the same thing. They look alike, they dress within the same realm, the lady sneech is different. But then there's a sneech that decides to rub crap on their head and look completely different than the other sneeches. Of course, that one gets noticed. And of course, if you were studying this society of sneeches, you'd be like, yeah, that one insists on looking different, insists on acting different, insists on being different, seems to draw the attention of the other one, seems to make the other ones feel uncomfortable when they come around. The other ones get agitated when that sneech comes walking into the room. And then eventually, they throw that sneech out. All makes perfect sense, right?

31:55🔗 Drew Right.

31:55🔗 Adam It's exactly... would you expect anything different? Would you expect the one sneech to put the crap on its head to come back into the sneech society and them all to not notice?

32:05🔗 Drew When the crap, where I'm being sneeched, also starts getting belligerent and agitated and harmful to the other ones.

32:12🔗 Adam And just starts crying to everybody that you guys judge me because I'm a sneech with crap on my head. Come on. Listen, all you idiots. I see through you like so much wax paper over an old sandwich.

32:28🔗 Drew Here's what the aphorism is to those guys. We're not your dad.

32:32🔗 Adam Yeah. That's right.

32:33🔗 Drew Not all sneeches are your dad.

32:34🔗 Adam That's right. You got a beef, you got an ax to grind with the old man, with the mom, didn't get enough attention at home.

32:40🔗 Drew Or you're abused.

32:41🔗 Adam Light dusting of molestation. Go take it out on the old man. Would you please leave us alone? We're just trying to get by here. I don't want to look at your piercings on your nipples. I don't want to see what you got but the bones going through your nose. I don't care. I don't know. I don't care. Please stop drawing attention to your nipples, fellas. Please. Try me insane. The guy with the double nipple.

33:01🔗 Drew You're the one that keeps talking about the nipples, for God's sake.

33:03🔗 Adam I have sensitive nipples. I'm supposed to do lie about that?

33:06🔗 What are you going to talk about?

33:07🔗 Adam Well, I'm not going to hide my love for my nipples.

33:10🔗 Drew Well, that's what these guys say about their barbells.

33:11🔗 Adam You're trying to shut me up, man. And that's the other thing, too. You always get this on these shows, too, which is during the testimonial. It's like, listen, I speak my mind. And sometimes people can't handle it. They can't handle it. I'm a strong person. I'm a strong person. I'm a strong personality. I speak my mind. And a lot of people are like, no, you're a C. You're a giant C who won't shut your f-ing pie hole. That's why they booted your ass out. Not because you speak your mind. Teddy Roosevelt spoke his mind.

33:45🔗 Drew Right, exactly.

33:47🔗 Adam Got pretty high up in government. You're a coups who won't shut your face. You stand all these people taking their crappy qualities and passing it off as like everyone, well, everyone, if people were more evolved, I'd be king. Yeah, I mean, look at me. Hey, listen, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't sugarcoat things. I'll tell you straight out what I think. But if you can't handle it, then I'm the wrong guy to hang out with. Don't expect me to, you're an A hole and you have no friends. Please, how dare you take your horrible quality of just being a C or an A and turn that into a, oh, you're some sort of free spirit who's unencumbered, unencumbered by their own rules. Yeah, please, how dare all of you. Devin?

34:32🔗 Yeah.

34:33🔗 Adam You're 18?

34:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:35🔗 Adam What's up?

34:36🔗 Caller Um, well, like, lately, for the past couple weeks, I've been masturbating like three or four times daily.

34:44🔗 Adam All right. Seems a little light. You feel that's a prom. They're calling the show, right?

34:50🔗 Caller No, it's, my best friend and my roommate said that I get, like, hurt by doing that, and I just want to make sure that I could, that I'm not going to.

35:04🔗 Drew What is it that your friend expects you to harm?

35:07🔗 Caller I don't know. He said that I can get sores from it.

35:11🔗 Drew Yeah, you can road your skin if you do enough action on there, but no.

35:16🔗 Adam When his roommate said you could get hurt by doing it four times a day, he meant if you use my washcloth for a belly rag one more time, I will kick your ass. I will hurt you. Yeah, that's what he meant by hurt. I had that same discussion with one of my roommates.

35:31🔗 Drew Whether you're in a really truly sexual compulsive and if this thing starts escalating, you start thinking about other things, prostitution, that kind of thing, you would be concerned about.

35:39🔗 Adam Well, you're not going to hurt anything. He thinks it's going to hurt something physically.

35:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

35:43🔗 Adam I think a lot of people look at their parts. I think they look at their joint.

35:49🔗 Drew They're junk?

35:50🔗 Adam They're junk like a, like it's a football player's knee joint or something, you know, like...

35:56🔗 Drew It's Joe Namath's knee.

35:57🔗 Adam Yeah, you wear yourself out, you know. I mean, Dick Botkus had a couple of replacements, you know, I mean, come on.

36:03🔗 Drew Yeah, no, no, no. There's not that. When you're soul, when you turn inside out, when your soul comes out of your penis, those are things I look into.

36:12🔗 Adam Your liver peeks through the end.

36:13🔗 Drew Yeah, I look into it.

36:14🔗 Adam I saw my liver once when I was going for a hand drink.

36:17🔗 Drew I don't doubt it.

36:21🔗 Adam I was thinking of knee replacement.

36:24🔗 Yeah.

36:24🔗 Adam And then my teeth started hurting.

36:26🔗 Yeah.

36:28🔗 Drew It's a pretty gruesome procedure.

36:29🔗 Adam I mean, they literally cut the bone, right?

36:32🔗 Drew They hammer in a bit of metal, titanium.

36:37🔗 Adam But what are they replacing?

36:39🔗 Drew The surfaces of the knee. This is the femur and the tibia.

36:44🔗 Adam What do they do?

36:45🔗 Drew Put something in there, yeah.

36:46🔗 Adam Yeah, it hurts. It hurts my nuts and my teeth and my feet. I'm covered.

36:50🔗 Drew You should go see that thing at the...

36:51🔗 Adam No. It hurts. My teeth and my nuts and my feet.

36:57🔗 Drew I get it.

36:58🔗 Adam All right, let's take a break.

36:59🔗 Drew Let's please.

36:59🔗 Adam All right, we'll be back after this.

37:01🔗 Drew Loveline.

37:02🔗 Caller Wait, wait.

37:04🔗 Caller My hair, my hair.

37:05🔗 Drew We'll be right back.

37:23🔗 Adam Yeah, everybody, it's the Loveline of Adam. That's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LEV-E191. Just had a interesting conversation with engineer Anderson.

37:36🔗 Drew Yep, and he yelled something else, he went into...

37:39🔗 Adam He yelled iPod out.

37:40🔗 Drew I didn't quite know why.

37:41🔗 Adam I'm not sure either, I think. We're supposed to do a commercial for him.

37:44🔗 Drew I guess.

37:45🔗 Adam Are we supposed to do a live commercial for him?

37:47🔗 Drew The iPod shuffle?

37:49🔗 Adam I don't know. What?

37:52🔗 Caller Yeah, a little banter.

37:53🔗 Guest Right now?

37:54🔗 Adam Well, listen, first off, this is a horrible commercial for supposed to do a live commercial.

37:58🔗 Caller Sounds like a staring commercial.

38:00🔗 Drew Are we seriously supposed to do an iPod shuffle commercial? Because I can talk about it, because my kids are into it. Alright, because for AA, number one, I don't have mine anymore. Oh, you sold it. No, my wife grabbed that immediately. I mean, it's all, I'll take this.

38:13🔗 Adam Yeah, must be nice.

38:14🔗 Drew And then my kids, they're fighting over it. Yeah. They have the irregular iPods, but the shuffle's like, okay, gotta have one of those now.

38:20🔗 Adam Oh, really?

38:21🔗 Drew And they're small, right? They're like the size of a pack of gum.

38:24🔗 Adam I didn't even have a tote in place.

38:27🔗 Drew I was traveling, I thought, oh, perfect, I need to have this. You can load in stuff like, you know, airplane, you know, sleeping music. You know, remember you wanted to have just music? Yeah, you could load that into the iPod and it shuffles it around.

38:39🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll tell you why, because I like to sleep on the goddamn airplane. They can edit that out of the commercial. And so, you know, like airplanes, like, well, we got show tunes, we got country and western, or you can listen to King of Queens, but it's like, oh, no, wait, they got a classical station I could sleep to.

38:58🔗 Drew Or a New Age one.

38:58🔗 Adam Or a New Age one. Except for every four minutes. That was Chopin, and the Philharmonic, Philadelphia Philharmonic coming in, GIO. Chopin is a boy, it's like, I'm sleeping, Winchester!

39:13🔗 Drew Yes.

39:14🔗 Adam Do you have to chime in every six minutes?

39:17🔗 Drew Yes.

39:18🔗 Adam Really?

39:19🔗 Guest I'm in the air.

39:21🔗 Adam What am I gonna do? Tune in, oh, this is a hot station, I gotta buy some advertising time on this thing.

39:26🔗 Guest Shut up!

39:28🔗 Adam I'm sleeping. I haven't screamed about this in a long time. There's 15 radio stations or 15 stations on most of those airlines. Not one of them can just play some nice Yanni music, you can fall the F asleep. The closest you get is the classical one, and that has to have the blowhard chime in every four minutes? And talk for longer than the next song?

39:54🔗 Drew So thus we have the iTunes library, plug your shuffle in and it downloads it, and then it shuffles and you go to sleep. And those little tiny things in your ears?

40:02🔗 Adam No.

40:02🔗 Drew It takes away the airplane noise.

40:04🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. And let me say this. 240 songs.

40:08🔗 Drew Yes, up to.

40:10🔗 Adam Or you can hear Greengrass and High Tides in Inagata, Nevada. Once. That's it.

40:16🔗 Drew And it will just suit the 12-hour battery half-life.

40:20🔗 Adam Oh, for your flight, yeah.

40:21🔗 Drew I can make it to Singapore.

40:23🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. That goes on for 40 minutes before the lyrics even begin. But here's the other thing, too. I hear a lot of people whining, like, Oh, yeah. 240 songs. That's not...

40:41🔗 Caller Think about that.

40:41🔗 Adam That's more than you got.

40:42🔗 Caller Of course.

40:43🔗 Adam That's more than you listen to. You may have more than that in your collection, but first off, if you ever sat down in one sitting and listened to more than 28 songs, maybe 55 songs, how many songs can you listen to? 240 songs? That's going to last you six, seven hours.

41:02🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

41:02🔗 Adam You're fine.

41:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:04🔗 Adam Yeah? Yeah. All right. That's a good product, that iPod. Shuffles. You wear it around your neck.

41:10🔗 Drew 99 bucks.

41:10🔗 Adam Here's the other thing, too. Shouldn't you be able to use that on the plane on takeoff and landing? They're talking about using your cell phones.

41:17🔗 Drew You should, but you can't. No, you can't.

41:19🔗 Adam Yeah, but they don't know when it's on.

41:20🔗 Drew Oh, but listen, I don't know. Delta Airlines.

41:23🔗 Adam They don't know.

41:24🔗 Drew They won't let you put earphones on, Delta. Yes, I wanted to jump off the plane when they gave you that one. Sure. Are you kidding me? I'm never flying this airline again. Oh, new law, Delta, since January, on Delta, all flights. I'm sorry, but until we're at 10,000 feet, no headphones of any type.

41:41🔗 Caller Wow.

41:42🔗 Drew On one flight. And I had three other flights on Delta. They didn't do that.

41:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:45🔗 Drew Come on.

41:46🔗 Adam That's the beauty of airline travel. And is there anything that should be more regulated or more...

41:53🔗 Drew Uniform.

41:53🔗 Adam Uniform than airline travel. It's got to vary that much from airport to airport in terms of the security. It's got to vary that much from flight to flight. Really?

42:03🔗 Drew Right.

42:03🔗 Adam It doesn't... McDonald's doesn't have this kind of variance.

42:07🔗 Drew Right. And there's nothing at stake.

42:10🔗 Caller Okay.

42:12🔗 Adam Jenny?

42:13🔗 Caller Um, yeah?

42:15🔗 Adam What's up, Jenny? You're 16.

42:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:18🔗 Caller I'm 16.

42:20🔗 Adam Alright. What's going on?

42:22🔗 Caller I've been cutting myself. And I don't know if it's like affecting my relationships. Because, like, I'm afraid to, like, get close to somebody. But I'm not sure if it's just, like, I'm afraid to get hurt.

42:33🔗 Caller But I'm afraid they'll find out.

42:36🔗 Drew I'm sure that finding out is a nice excuse to not get close. But the fact is that the fact that you are a cutter speaks volumes about your sort of emotional condition. Somebody that needs to cut to regulate their feeling states tends to be somebody that has trouble with relationships, trouble with closeness, expects intrusion and abuse from people. So it all kind of goes together. I don't think you can separate one of these things out and blame them. It all goes with the syndrome. So Jenny, how about a little treatment? That's what the cutting tells us.

43:05🔗 Adam Where are you cutting yourself? Your thigh?

43:08🔗 Caller You know, my arms.

43:11🔗 Adam Alright sweetie, well you're depressed.

43:15🔗 Caller I don't know, this is the way my house is and stuff.

43:18🔗 Caller Yeah, so the cutting like just school and stuff.

43:20🔗 Drew The cutting is a desperate attempt to find a way to regulate your feelings.

43:24🔗 Adam What's going on with your house?

43:26🔗 Caller You know, I fight with my mom.

43:28🔗 Caller My dad isn't around.

43:29🔗 Caller He's just a jerk. All right.

43:32🔗 Adam Well, leave it. Look, your mom, I'm sure, has many faults. But she at least is hanging in and attempting to raise you.

43:41🔗 Drew Right. Well, dad has got to know where.

43:43🔗 Adam Where is your dad?

43:46🔗 Caller He actually doesn't live that far, but he's just a jerk and like, you know, just drinking problems and just...

43:55🔗 Adam All right, listen, Jenny, why don't you do what I did, which is defy your parents by being successful?

44:01🔗 Drew That's a great plan.

44:03🔗 Caller I have a band, so I want to...

44:04🔗 Adam Oh, well, all right, if you got a band, then it's done.

44:06🔗 Drew That's the surest way to success.

44:07🔗 Adam Yeah. There's 99 percent. Success? The bus could crash.

44:14🔗 Drew Otherwise, it's sure success.

44:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:17🔗 Adam On the way to the amphitheater. All right, well, as long as you got a band. What's the band's name?

44:23🔗 Caller Unseen Exposure.

44:25🔗 Adam What exposure?

44:27🔗 Caller Unseen Exposure.

44:29🔗 Adam Strong. What kind of music do you guys play?

44:32🔗 Caller Kind of like alternative rock.

44:35🔗 Adam What do you do? You play the bass?

44:37🔗 Caller I play guitar and lead vocals.

44:41🔗 Adam Can you sing?

44:42🔗 Drew Don't make her do it. Please don't.

44:43🔗 Adam What is one of your bigger... What's your best song?

44:49🔗 Caller It would probably be Family Man.

44:52🔗 Adam By Hall and Oates?

44:54🔗 Guest I said, leave me alone. I'm a family man.

44:57🔗 Adam It's a hot song. And my bark is much worse than my bite.

45:01🔗 Drew I pray God.

45:02🔗 Adam It's a hot song.

45:03🔗 Drew I pray God. It's not that song.

45:05🔗 No, it isn't.

45:06🔗 Adam It's not Hall and Oates' Family Man?

45:09🔗 Caller No.

45:10🔗 Adam Oh, man. I mean, that's it. And you push me too far, it's just Mighty, says in the songs. Hot. It's a Family Man.

45:18🔗 Drew Yes, 1981. Really?

45:20🔗 Adam Oh, did that... Hall and Oates gets...

45:24🔗 Drew They don't get enough of this.

45:24🔗 Adam They don't get enough of this. They're really in between Family Man and Maneater. They really just need a good swift kick in the nuts.

45:32🔗 Drew Can't you sample that for us? Come on.

45:34🔗 Adam He's got to go way into the vault to get that. Had some good songs, but had some horrible songs too, and they need to be punished for the bad songs.

45:42🔗 Drew Something I can't remember.

45:44🔗 Adam Like Sarah Smile and The Kiss and My List or My List.

45:48🔗 Drew The List. You like The List?

45:49🔗 Adam No, no. It's just poppy and upbeat. It was, you know, a lot for the time. We're not going to make fun of it. I mean, not everything is, you know, stairway to heaven, but they had some good songs, but they had some horrible songs. All right?

46:03🔗 Drew The List.

46:05🔗 Guest Because your kiss was on my list.

46:07🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. All right, buddy.

46:09🔗 Guest My best things.

46:09🔗 Adam All right. See that? That's great. That's finger popping music right there.

46:15🔗 Drew It's hip.

46:15🔗 Adam It's finger popping time, huh?

46:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:18🔗 Adam Finger popping time. What about it, Chris? Chris, what time is it?

46:22🔗 Drew It's time for break. No, finger popping time.

46:25🔗 Adam Finger popping time, you idiot. Would you pop your goddamn fingers? Now, what time is it?

46:32🔗 Drew Finger popping time.

46:33🔗 Guest All right.

46:34🔗 Adam Now, what time is it? It's time for break.

46:37🔗 Guest Yeah, yeah. Good. Good.

47:15🔗 Adam Hey, buddy. Some love lying to madam. That's Dr. Drew.

47:20🔗 Drew That's right, Adam. Mr. Excitement.

47:22🔗 Adam Mr. Excitement. Trying to explain to Drew what finger pop and time. I swear, I think they use it on some sort of like popcorn shrimp commercial for...

47:33🔗 Drew Makes sense.

47:34🔗 Adam Chris, just put in finger pop and time and see what you get.

47:39🔗 Drew All right.

47:40🔗 Adam All right, buddy. That's Dr. Drew, from Adam Foe, number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1. We're in the bathroom. I was singing the finger pop and time.

47:48🔗 Drew A full voice. Top of his voice.

47:51🔗 Adam Drew thinks it's a beat, Nick, so I start explaining some Motown song.

47:54🔗 Drew As you can imagine when Adam was singing the great beat, the rhythm.

47:56🔗 Guest Finger pop and pop and time. I feel so good.

48:04🔗 Adam And that's a real good sign.

48:05🔗 Guest Boogity boogity boogity boogity shoot.

48:08🔗 Adam Come on, buddy.

48:09🔗 Drew It's coming into focus. Coming in.

48:11🔗 Adam I will actually tell Drew what he knows and what he doesn't know.

48:14🔗 Drew But here's the thing.

48:14🔗 Adam This is one you do.

48:15🔗 Drew But here's the thing. You tell me what I know. And I say I don't recognize the name. And then you sing it so horribly I can't recognize it. And then you blame me for not knowing it.

48:24🔗 Adam How dare you? Because then when you do hear it, you do realize that's how I sung it.

48:28🔗 Drew Oh no. It says here, Hank Ballard.

48:31🔗 Adam Hank Ballard.

48:31🔗 Drew Hank Ballard and the Midnighters?

48:33🔗 Adam Yeah. They sung Finger Pump. Wait here. Figure that out. Bill?

48:40🔗 Caller Hey, Finger Pumpin Time.

48:45🔗 Drew You like that?

48:47🔗 Adam I like anything that's not me. I'm just tired of talking.

48:51🔗 Drew All right, Bill. Let's question.

48:53🔗 Hey, I was wondering, do you guys plan on doing a Best of Germany or Florida anytime soon?

48:59🔗 Drew Any time soon. A Best of you mean as though we had accumulated tape with Germany and Florida on it? Or that we've written them down and we're going to recap? We've got nine of those things. We don't save tape, we don't write things down. Would you say, Adam?

49:13🔗 Adam I'd say that's pretty good. But thanks, Bill. Appreciate it, but... Yeah, it's a good segue into the Germany or Florida we're about to take, but go ahead, annoy me further.

49:26🔗 Why is it you're allowed to say ass and you're allowed to say hole but you can't put the two words together without getting bleeped? I don't understand that.

49:34🔗 Adam I'm not... I'm not... Well, first off, I think you may have done that because you only gave about a second and a half in between the two words.

49:42🔗 Drew We can't say a hole?

49:43🔗 Adam I think I can say a hole.

49:44🔗 Drew Yeah, I think we can, too.

49:45🔗 Adam Yeah, it's been said. All right, you ready?

49:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:51🔗 Adam Megan.

49:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:53🔗 Adam Fourteen?

49:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:55🔗 Adam Time to play a little Germany or Florida, sweetness.

49:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:00🔗 Caller Okay. A highly convicted felon hidden a dump truck while trying to escape from prison but was unable to get out in time and was compacted into a bale of trash. His mago body was later found in a landfill near prison.

50:19🔗 Drew I think I heard that. Is this an old story, Megan?

50:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:23🔗 Drew Yeah. I think I heard about this. So I must have been a Florida. Prison, Florida. Trash, Florida. The landfill, Florida.

50:32🔗 Adam Highly convicted seems like a strange way to phrase things.

50:36🔗 Drew I think she made it like as though it was a German translation.

50:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

50:41🔗 Drew But then again, she could be smart enough to throw us a curve on that one.

50:44🔗 Guest No. No.

50:47🔗 Adam So what? Where do you go?

50:48🔗 Drew Florida.

50:49🔗 Adam Florida? Feels like Florida. I'm going to Florida, too, Megan.

50:53🔗 Drew Okay.

50:53🔗 Caller It's Florida.

50:54🔗 Guest Yeah. There you go.

50:56🔗 Adam That's right, sweetie. Yeah. Take that ass home. Thank you for calling.

51:03🔗 Caller You're welcome. Bye, guys.

51:05🔗 Caller Bye, Megan. All right.

51:06🔗 Adam Let's talk to Stacey's 14. Stacey?

51:11🔗 Caller Hi.

51:12🔗 Adam What's up, Puddin?

51:14🔗 Caller My boyfriend is 15 and he always demands sex. If I don't give it to him, he gets really mad.

51:22🔗 Drew 15? Imagine that.

51:24🔗 Adam 15. I wasn't up to demanding bugles.

51:30🔗 Drew From your mom?

51:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Like, hey, could I have one of those bugles? No. Okay.

51:35🔗 Drew Demanding sex from a 14-year-old girlfriend. And by the way, Stacey, you sound so depressed. That's depression, my dear.

51:43🔗 Adam What's up, sweetie? What happened?

51:46🔗 Caller He tried to kill himself today.

51:48🔗 Caller He did?

51:50🔗 Adam Well, may have dodged a bullet. Even if he didn't.

51:55🔗 Drew Is he hospitalized?

51:57🔗 Caller Um, like, he tried, well, he tried to do it because, um, he woke me up at like four in the morning, and I wanted to sleep, and he got really mad.

52:09🔗 Drew Are you both in like, uh, some sort of, uh, juvie? Yeah, some sort of, uh, What's going on?

52:14🔗 Adam What's happened to you two?

52:17🔗 Caller I don't know, it's just been kind of screwed up.

52:20🔗 Drew Alright, here's the reality.

52:22🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. How did he try to kill himself? Hold on.

52:24🔗 Caller Um, he stabbed himself in the thigh.

52:28🔗 Drew And is he in the hospital now?

52:30🔗 Caller No.

52:31🔗 Drew Why not?

52:32🔗 Caller Because his parents didn't know. He stayed at home sick and his parents weren't home.

52:40🔗 Adam Alright, let me talk to Drew for a second. Um, stabbing yourself in the thigh. Well, while sad is, uh, probably not the greatest.

52:50🔗 Drew You can get in, you can get in some horrible complications with that though.

52:53🔗 Adam I'm sure, but people don't try to kill themselves from complications. They try to kill themselves from killing themselves.

52:59🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

53:00🔗 Adam Alright. So, obviously, this guy's a mess. Who knows what's going on with him? Stacy is a disaster.

53:07🔗 Drew Yes.

53:07🔗 Adam Let's try to fix her. Stacy?

53:11🔗 Yeah?

53:12🔗 Adam First off, you know that song, Finger Poppin Time by Hank Ballard and the Midnighters?

53:19🔗 Caller No, I've never heard it.

53:21🔗 Drew According to you, Adam, everyone knows it. So she must have heard it.

53:23🔗 Adam Big hit in 1959. Anyway.

53:26🔗 Drew Time for a little blood, sweat, and tears tonight. Anything?

53:29🔗 Adam No. So, Stacy, what's going on? Are you doing okay in school?

53:34🔗 Caller Not really.

53:35🔗 Adam Not really?

53:36🔗 Drew Are you going to school?

53:38🔗 Caller Most of the time.

53:39🔗 Drew Do you live with your parents?

53:41🔗 Caller What?

53:41🔗 Drew Do you live with your parents? Okay.

53:44🔗 Adam Are you depressed?

53:46🔗 Caller I wouldn't say depressed.

53:48🔗 Drew I would.

53:49🔗 Adam I would say clinically depressed.

53:50🔗 Drew Yes, I would.

53:51🔗 Adam Yeah, you sound horribly depressed. And why are you hooked up with this suicidal sex machine? Oh my god, that's a good title for me. Forget Mr. Excitement. I go with suicidal sex machine.

54:05🔗 Caller No, that would be a good band.

54:07🔗 Adam Suicidal sex machine?

54:08🔗 Drew Yes, it sure would. Chris liked it. Look at him.

54:10🔗 Caller Yeah, that's a good band.

54:12🔗 Adam Now opening for Hot Hot Heat. Super Suicidal Sex Machine. Suicidal Sex Machine. Now, welcome to the stage. Big Long Beach Arena. Welcome to Suicidal Sex Machine.

54:32🔗 Guest Suicidal Sex Machine.

54:38🔗 Adam Stacey?

54:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

54:41🔗 Adam We feel like you probably need to break up with this guy. I know he stabbed himself in the leg because you wouldn't have sex with him at 4 a.m. That's not your fault.

54:48🔗 Drew He's an A of extraordinary... I mean, we can't say A-hole, but that's what he is.

54:53🔗 Adam I think we can.

54:54🔗 Drew He's a sick guy. He's not your responsibility. He's exploiting you. Let's go. Let's end this thing. Come on. And he needs to get to the hospital to get some help. If he's actually suicidal, he will kill himself. And therefore, he has a terminal condition that needs treatment.

55:09🔗 Caller Yeah. If I break up with him, he's going to try again.

55:13🔗 Drew You've got to get your parents in love with this. You have got to get adults in love with this. This kid needs containment.

55:17🔗 Adam Stacey, here's my plan for you. Don't get pregnant.

55:22🔗 Drew What are you guys using for birth control?

55:26🔗 Caller My mom lets me be on the shot.

55:29🔗 Drew Zephyr-Provera, which adds to her depression.

55:31🔗 Adam Stacey, baby, you're depressed. Talk to your mom. Talk to your parents about your depression. You don't have to be this depressed. You don't have to be this down. You don't have to be. You live in Denver, for Christ's sake. You got Rocky Mountains. You'd stare at a mountain, would you?

55:48🔗 Caller My parents make it too big of a deal out of everything.

55:52🔗 Drew Well, maybe they're right to do so.

55:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Would you please get yourself some help? Just do it.

55:58🔗 Caller I'll try.

55:59🔗 Adam I'll try and do that, would you?

56:01🔗 Drew Thank you. Stacey. Another Stacey.

56:08🔗 Caller Oh yeah, that's me. Hey guys.

56:10🔗 Caller What's up?

56:13🔗 Caller Actually, my friend and I got some tickets to a show tomorrow night that we hear you're doing, Adam, and we don't even know what it is, but we just heard it was you, so we were excited to go.

56:24🔗 Drew Nice.

56:25🔗 Adam Thanks, sweetie pea.

56:26🔗 Caller So we want to know what it is.

56:28🔗 Adam Well, I'm doing a pilot for Comedy Central. It's kind of like a talk show. It's just for after the Daily Show. It's kind of my own talk show. Tomorrow night, we're doing one show with Will Arnett from Arrested Development.

56:42🔗 Drew Oh, that would be great.

56:43🔗 Adam Then we're, thanks Drew, and then we're doing another one with Marilyn Manson.

56:48🔗 Drew Nice.

56:49🔗 Adam Yeah. So I don't know which one you're going to. We're doing one at 7.30, one at 9.

56:53🔗 Drew Stay for both.

56:55🔗 Adam Stay for both.

56:56🔗 Caller I would love to stay for both. I don't know what we're doing.

56:58🔗 Caller We're staying for both.

56:59🔗 Caller Oh, we are staying for both. Cool.

57:02🔗 Adam All right. Well, good. Laugh It Up, baby dolls. We'll have a good time. And I'll say hi to you after the show. Should go pretty fast.

57:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:10🔗 Drew Are you going to be drinking Abesynth with your buddy?

57:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:13🔗 Adam We'll drink some of that. All right, guys.

57:16🔗 Caller All right. We're looking forward to it.

57:18🔗 Adam I'm looking forward to you. Come find me.

57:19🔗 Drew You're going to start hallucinating with Marilyn.

57:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:22🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

57:22🔗 Adam I cut her off.

57:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:24🔗 Adam Marilyn Manson, last time I was in here, was drinking that Abesynth. And first off, couldn't it... Stoli Nachka is easier to pronounce.

57:35🔗 Caller Honey, what's a Stoli?

57:36🔗 Drew Stoli.

57:38🔗 Adam Stoli night. Stoli night. Everyone just calls it Stoli, but the point is, Abesynth sounds like you have a swollen tongue when you try to say it.

57:47🔗 Drew Sneezing.

57:48🔗 Adam But he came in here, he did one of those moves where he goes, hey, buddy, I brought you a gift.

57:53🔗 Drew Didn't you do it twice?

57:54🔗 Adam No.

57:55🔗 Drew Two episodes?

57:57🔗 Adam I don't know. He brought me a gift. I said, well, that's nice. What did you get? He said, bottle absinthe. I said, oh, what's that? That's nice. That's like a liquor that makes you hallucinate. Oh, sounds good. Put that over here. Drink that when I get home. And he's like, yeah, let me show you how it works. And he popped it open. Then he ended up drinking most of it.

58:16🔗 Drew You guys went to town that night.

58:17🔗 Adam They had a little. I'll tell you, make you feel a little freaky. You feel a little freaky.

58:22🔗 Drew Start wearing women's clothes, makeup.

58:26🔗 Adam That's the least of it. Let's speak to Danielle. Danielle? Seventeen?

58:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:33🔗 Adam What's that?

58:34🔗 Caller Seventeen.

58:36🔗 Drew Okay, seventeen.

58:36🔗 Adam Oh, seventeen. That's totally different. Go ahead.

58:41🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

58:41🔗 Caller That's all right.

58:43🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a question. When like, I'm going to have sex or I get excited, my hands get really numb. Why is that?

58:51🔗 Drew Probably because you're hyperventilating.

58:54🔗 Adam Extremities get a little numb?

58:56🔗 Drew Yeah, you're probably breathing extra hard. You don't have to breathe much harder to blow off enough CO2 to cause that kind of thing, tingly around the mouth, tingly at the hands. Really as much as one or two respirations per minute, more than you need and you'll start having symptoms. Now, if you're also panting and really going to town, then you will definitely feel it.

59:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:18🔗 Adam Is that you?

59:19🔗 Caller No.

59:20🔗 Drew Not you.

59:21🔗 Adam But this is when you're sexually excited or when there's actually a guy on top of you?

59:26🔗 Caller Both.

59:28🔗 Adam Oh, both. You know what I mean? Would they get numb if you were just, I don't know, Gardner took a shirt off?

59:35🔗 Caller No.

59:36🔗 Adam Big belly in the sun. No?

59:39🔗 Caller Not at all.

59:40🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's all. A little hyperventilation. That's it. Yeah?

59:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:45🔗 Adam Chris, find that finger-popping song. Yeah, I have it over here.

59:49🔗 Drew You do?

59:50🔗 Adam Can we hear it during the break?

59:52🔗 Drew Maybe.

59:52🔗 Adam I'm not sure. All right.

59:55🔗 Drew What? Why maybe?

59:56🔗 Adam Well, you can't pull it up.

59:57🔗 Caller You have to download it. Oh, okay.

59:59🔗 Caller You've got to find it.

1:00:01🔗 Adam You can't?

1:00:02🔗 Caller There you go.

1:00:02🔗 Caller No, we can't.

1:00:03🔗 Guest All right.

1:00:04🔗 Adam Thomas?

1:00:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:07🔗 Adam You're 23?

1:00:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:09🔗 Adam What's up?

1:00:11🔗 Caller Actually, I have a question for Dr. Drew. I was listening to the girl talking earlier about the guy stabbing himself on the thigh.

1:00:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:17🔗 Caller Last week, I was drinking and I was feeling kind of down and I actually stabbed myself in the calf. I had a hard time walking at first. It got really swollen and my foot got swollen and now my whole foot is the shade of purple. It's a light purple, but the cut itself feels fine.

1:00:37🔗 Drew The what itself? The cut.

1:00:39🔗 Adam The blood went down to his foot.

1:00:40🔗 Drew Yeah, the blood tracks down to the foot. It is something that needs to be looked at. There's several different complications you can get into. Obviously, you can get into infection, which you're saying you don't have. You can cause blood clots to form in your leg and travel to your lung and kill you. You can cause what's called a compartment syndrome where the blood gets into an enclosed space, different compartments in the thigh area, in the calf area, rather, that get compressed when the blood fills it and can crush nerve, crush muscle. If it crushes muscle, that gets dissolved in your blood and then goes to your kidney and shuts your kidneys down. These are all things that need to be sort of evaluated. It's probably okay, but who knows, Thomas.

1:01:17🔗 Caller All right.

1:01:18🔗 Adam All right, everybody. Thanks for the six count before the reply.

1:01:22🔗 Drew It's not just infection or immediate bleeding. The internal bleeding, internal clot formation, this stuff is very significant.

1:01:27🔗 Adam Why did you stab yourself in the calf?

1:01:31🔗 Caller I actually stabbed myself a couple of times with a pen in my chest and...

1:01:37🔗 Adam That I understand. I'm asking about the calf.

1:01:40🔗 Caller And I have no idea. Like I was totally intoxicated and I had a, like a Leatherman, like a little pocket knife deal. And I tried cutting my chest and for some reason it was just... I just ended up cutting my calf. Like I stabbed my calf. It went about an inch and a half deep and about an inch and a half wide. And it was just a discussion blinding.

1:02:01🔗 Drew Isn't this... doesn't this everybody sort of teach everyone an example that, you know, when they say, well, I drink when I'm on drugs. I just, I speak my mind. I don't have so many inhibitions. I just, I just able to tell people like it really is when I'm, you know, when I'm drinking. It's like, no, you're on drugs when you're drinking. You do crazy ass that you wouldn't otherwise do. And it's...

1:02:18🔗 Adam You're saying you wouldn't have done this otherwise?

1:02:20🔗 Drew No, it's an alcohol... He doesn't even know why he did it. He has no idea. He's on drugs. His brain is on the wrong right.

1:02:25🔗 Adam Yeah. When you're stoned, though, this doesn't do that. You won't do this.

1:02:27🔗 Drew Well, you have different stuff, then.

1:02:29🔗 Adam Yeah, different stuff.

1:02:30🔗 Drew It's all eating. Not this.

1:02:33🔗 Adam It's snacking, not stabbing.

1:02:35🔗 Drew Yeah. Speaking of snacking, are you hungry?

1:02:37🔗 Adam I'm always hungry. I'm always hungry. But, you know, I'm trying to mellow out.

1:02:41🔗 Drew Really?

1:02:42🔗 Caller I'm trying to mellow out.

1:02:43🔗 Adam Yeah. And I do know, once you start mellowing out a little bit, you just start... it gets off your radar a little bit.

1:02:49🔗 Drew Yeah. It unwinds.

1:02:51🔗 Adam Yeah. The whole thing about food is, it's like some sort of a hornet's nest. You can't agitate it or they all fly out and start buzzing around, you know? So you can't chuck a dirt clot at the beehive. You want it to settle down, just leave it alone. But don't stop coming up with plans.

1:03:09🔗 Drew Well, at least, you know, you're filming a television show now and there's no food on the sets. And they're not taking breaks every four hours and giving you catered meals.

1:03:16🔗 Adam That's all I know. This industry, it's nothing but food and booze. And those are two things that will kill you. Like you start getting a problem with booze or drugs, you're out and you get fat, you're out. And that's all this. It's all muffins and scotch. That's all this. Be good band muffins and scotch.

1:03:35🔗 Drew Back with the sexual, suicidal sexual, what was it? Suicidal sexual machine.

1:03:39🔗 Adam Suicidal sex machine is opening for muffins and scotch.

1:03:49🔗 Drew Muffins and scotch sounds more like a captain in the old team, you know?

1:03:53🔗 Adam Yeah, he comes, he's wearing the captain's hat, he's playing the ham and organ. She's got the acoustic guitar, she's on the stool. See a little something from muffins and scotch going back to 1974. This is muskrat rave.

1:04:11🔗 Drew Finger poppin tie.

1:04:12🔗 Guest It's finger poppin tie.

1:04:17🔗 Adam Darian? You're twenty five?

1:04:21🔗 Caller That's correct.

1:04:22🔗 Adam What's up?

1:04:24🔗 Caller I'm kind of interested in this question for both of you.

1:04:29🔗 Caller What do you feel is the age difference should be for...

1:04:32🔗 Drew And by the way, I have news for everyone that calls in. All questions are for both of us.

1:04:36🔗 Adam Thank you. That's a good question. Well, maybe they're just saying they don't want Chris chiming in.

1:04:40🔗 Drew Okay. All right.

1:04:42🔗 Adam I agree with that, by the way.

1:04:43🔗 What's the question?

1:04:46🔗 Adam The question is, when are you going to find me Hank Ballard in The Midnighters?

1:04:51🔗 Drew Okay.

1:04:51🔗 Adam All right. Go ahead, Gary.

1:04:53🔗 Caller What do you think the age length should be between the two people that are dating?

1:04:58🔗 Drew Depends on the age of the two people. Well, it can get wider as you get older to a certain point. Okay.

1:05:04🔗 Caller Well, I'm 25, my girlfriend is 18.

1:05:14🔗 Guest Finger popping, popping time.

1:05:19🔗 Adam It's a horrible song when you sing it.

1:05:20🔗 Guest When you sing it. When you're someone, anyone.

1:05:22🔗 Adam Even Hank Ballard screwed it up.

1:05:24🔗 Drew Uh, Darren, 18, 25 is a pretty good age difference. Is she in high school still? I'm in college now.

1:05:31🔗 Caller All right.

1:05:31🔗 Drew Are you in college?

1:05:32🔗 Caller Uh, yes.

1:05:34🔗 Drew You're in college still at 25? ITT. Okay.

1:05:39🔗 Adam What are you learning? Computer skills?

1:05:41🔗 Caller Networking.

1:05:42🔗 Drew Yeah, whatever that means.

1:05:45🔗 Adam Bangin 18 year olds, that's what it means. All right, so listen, Darren, who cares? You're fine.

1:05:50🔗 Drew Yeah, it's a little bit of a stretch. I worry about her, but it's not horrible.

1:05:55🔗 Adam All right, cool. All right, you're fine. Here's thing, too. It's kind of where you are, too.

1:06:00🔗 Drew In your life, right.

1:06:01🔗 Adam If she's in college at 18 and you're in college at 25, well, then you're a couple of college students.

1:06:06🔗 Drew Right, right, exactly.

1:06:07🔗 Adam Could both be living at home, could do the same thing, issues around money and whatever.

1:06:11🔗 Drew Yep.

1:06:11🔗 Adam All there, right? Let's get together Friday and study.

1:06:14🔗 Drew Yep.

1:06:15🔗 Caller Okay.

1:06:15🔗 Drew There you go.

1:06:18🔗 Adam Alvin.

1:06:19🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

1:06:21🔗 Adam What's up?

1:06:22🔗 Caller Nothing. Is this Adam?

1:06:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:06:24🔗 Caller Hey, how you doing? I had a question about blowing air into my urethra.

1:06:28🔗 Adam Yeah, sure.

1:06:29🔗 Guest Who does that?

1:06:30🔗 Adam I got some answers about that.

1:06:32🔗 Caller Okay, is it damaging?

1:06:35🔗 Drew What the hell are you talking about?

1:06:37🔗 Caller Blowing air into my urethra with a straw.

1:06:40🔗 Adam Do you use compressed air?

1:06:42🔗 Caller No, no. It's just air from my mouth. It's kind of like a male queef.

1:06:47🔗 Adam How do you get it down there? I mean, you use a straw?

1:06:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I just put the straw over the hole of my urethra. Mm-hmm.

1:06:54🔗 Adam I don't get to the whole part.

1:06:56🔗 Drew All right, well first of all, just the straw into the urethra is taking a...

1:07:00🔗 Adam Well, it's not going in. It's just putting it on.

1:07:02🔗 Drew You're not putting it in the urethra?

1:07:04🔗 Caller No, no. It's just on.

1:07:07🔗 Adam I know he said in, but you should see. I speak fluent teenage tar.

1:07:11🔗 Drew I like that. And then you blew air. Did it actually feel like it was going into the urethra?

1:07:16🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. There's no doubt in my mind that there was air in there.

1:07:20🔗 Drew Why?

1:07:20🔗 Adam Why mine, by the way?

1:07:21🔗 Caller Because I felt it. It's a very distinct feeling.

1:07:24🔗 Drew All right. Well, the air could bring some bacteria with it. And there is a sterile environment in the urethra, and so you can cause all kinds of havoc. Infections, stenosis, narrowing. Great things. It's really...

1:07:35🔗 Adam So the air could have something in it. When you're blowing it out of your mouth.

1:07:39🔗 Drew Out of your mouth or the straw.

1:07:40🔗 Guest And then you could blow bacteria into yourself, infect yourself with your own ass.

1:07:45🔗 Adam Absolutely. Wow.

1:07:46🔗 Caller Wow, that makes sense.

1:07:47🔗 Caller Well, thank you.

1:07:48🔗 Caller All right.

1:07:49🔗 Adam And how did it come out?

1:07:51🔗 Caller How did it come out? What do you mean?

1:07:53🔗 Drew How do you know it came out?

1:07:54🔗 Adam The air. The air.

1:07:56🔗 Drew When you peed, was there something coming out?

1:07:58🔗 Caller No, what it was is immediately after blowing it into my urethra, after I pinched the head of my penis, and then I just kind of grabbed the base and slide up.

1:08:08🔗 Adam And it came out?

1:08:10🔗 Caller Yeah, and it made a very weird vibrating sensation right at the tip and a little bit of a noise.

1:08:15🔗 Adam No, it didn't make a noise.

1:08:17🔗 Caller You can think it's bogus, but it's legit, Adam.

1:08:20🔗 Drew No, I don't believe you're bogus, Elvin. But hang on a second.

1:08:22🔗 Adam I believe it.

1:08:23🔗 Drew Well, what else are you into?

1:08:24🔗 Adam I sort of wish I had thought of it, actually.

1:08:25🔗 Drew What other weird stuff are you doing to yourself?

1:08:27🔗 Caller Oh, no, that's about as far as I go.

1:08:30🔗 Caller All right.

1:08:32🔗 Adam Reason 128, not to name your kid Elvin. Yeah. But I really am jealous. I can't believe I didn't think of that in high school.

1:08:42🔗 Drew Really?

1:08:43🔗 Adam I just can't believe I didn't think of that.

1:08:45🔗 Drew What? No, I'm confused.

1:08:48🔗 Adam Well, why are you confused?

1:08:51🔗 Drew But what would that have done for you?

1:08:52🔗 Adam Who cares? We didn't have cable.

1:08:56🔗 Drew Ah, I see entertainment. Okay, got it.

1:08:58🔗 Adam Now imagine my tortured life. I didn't read and I had Channel 5 and 9.

1:09:06🔗 Drew With a coat hanger antenna?

1:09:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, yeah, that's what it was. By the way, coat hangers used to be used for everything. Bailing wire, muffler, rear end repair.

1:09:20🔗 Drew Yes, car doors.

1:09:20🔗 Adam Car doors, car antennas, breaking into cars, antennas for TV.

1:09:25🔗 Drew I mean, they've lost their...

1:09:26🔗 Adam Ah, now they're just used for hangers.

1:09:28🔗 Drew Their mojo. And they're not used for that now because everyone wants to have wooden ones.

1:09:32🔗 Adam Yeah, it's almost like duct tape only being used to tape ducts or something.

1:09:38🔗 Drew Horrible.

1:09:39🔗 Adam Oh, they must be in a tailspin, the wire hanger manufacturer's union of the world. You know, they got to be pissed. Yes?

1:09:46🔗 Drew Yes.

1:09:47🔗 Adam All right. I don't know what happened, but here's, here's, here's... Dig on this, everybody.

1:09:55🔗 Guest Finger poppin, poppin time.

1:09:59🔗 Adam No. We grew up in a time, Drew and I did, where there was no replacement parts for anything. So if you bought a TV and inevitably the little cheap piece of plastic that went in the, the uh... the channel changing knob snapped off in week number three, you then had to use vice grips for the next twenty six years.

1:10:21🔗 Drew Absolutely, but not only that.

1:10:23🔗 Adam If your car muffler broke off and started hangin up, you had to use a coat hanger. If the antenna broke on your car, well, you couldn't get a new, you couldn't get a new antenna, you had to put a coat hanger in it.

1:10:33🔗 Drew Stay with the TV for a second. We hadn't yet hit the stage of sort of technology where electronics were evolving so quickly that every six months you gotta buy something new anyway. You figure you buy a TV, that's your TV for your lifetime. That's it, that's your TV. That's what you're gonna be watching TV forever.

1:10:49🔗 Adam Yeah, look, I don't know where we got this, well, the Corollas.

1:10:54🔗 Drew Well, even the Corollas, you can imagine.

1:10:55🔗 Adam Forget about it, those idiots. The black and white like zenith we had, that was for your entire, to get any kind of reception.

1:11:05🔗 Drew Your entire life of your family, that was your TV. Oh yeah. Your family of origin. And so if the antenna broke, you had to figure out a way to fix it. No replacement, no internet, no further TVs, you weren't gonna buy another TV.

1:11:16🔗 Adam No, electronics were not disposable at all.

1:11:20🔗 Drew Or replaceable.

1:11:20🔗 Adam Or replaceable.

1:11:21🔗 Drew You had one, that's it.

1:11:22🔗 Adam Same phone, same TV, same stereo. Straight on through.

1:11:26🔗 Drew All the way through your childhood, and your adolescence.

1:11:29🔗 Adam Forget about this, this thing was from the 50s anyway. So when I got hold of his 20 years old, I gotta sue them. I'm gonna sue them, Drew. Do you understand?

1:11:41🔗 Drew I do.

1:11:42🔗 Adam All right. And believe me, Mr. Excitement, you will be called to the stand. Believe you, me. You will be my expert witness. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back after this.

1:11:55🔗 Caller Hello.

1:11:56🔗 Adam This is your radio.

1:11:58🔗 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:12:02🔗 Caller Love Line is brought to you by Playboy. What do Paris Hilton and the 25 Sexiest Stars, plus a very grown up Debbie Gibson, plus our annual music bowl, all in the same issue add up to Spring Fever. Catch it today in the March Playboy on Newsstands Now.

1:12:36🔗 Drew Mr. Excitement's been regaling us, regaling us with music, It'll interlude during the break.

1:12:42🔗 Adam Yeah, here's what happens. I announced to Drew that he knows something. He announces he's never heard of it, and I continue to pound it into him until he admits he's heard of it.

1:12:52🔗 Guest But I don't think he admits it.

1:12:53🔗 Adam I think he's just doing it to shut me up.

1:12:56🔗 Drew If I were just going to shut you up, I would have done a long while ago.

1:12:59🔗 Adam And it is true that my batting average, when I explain to you that you've seen something, you've heard it.

1:13:06🔗 Drew I'm completely accepting. I'm open to that completely. Because it's like 89%.

1:13:10🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm close to... I'm about 90% when I yell at Drew he's heard of something. But Drew will tell me the first eight times he's never heard of it.

1:13:18🔗 Drew No, I don't recognize it. I don't know the name of it or whatever. I don't recognize it.

1:13:22🔗 Caller All right, buddy boy.

1:13:23🔗 Adam But then it turns out you do.

1:13:25🔗 Drew Well, at that point when you say I have, then I of course don't resist any further.

1:13:31🔗 Adam That's a good boy.

1:13:34🔗 How's it going, guys?

1:13:35🔗 Adam You're 24?

1:13:36🔗 Caller Yeah. I used the Andrastean Dylon about four years ago. And I stopped using it right after I noticed some erectile difficulties. The problem I'm having right now is I can achieve an erection. It's just when it's blasted, it's really like shriveled up and not like how it used to be prior to the Andrastean Dylon use. So I'm wondering, most of the medication right now, they cure the problem of not being able to get an erection. So what can I do about the, is there anything I can do about it now?

1:14:13🔗 Drew I have a ton of thoughts here. Hold on a second. Where did you get the Andrastean Dylon?

1:14:17🔗 Caller I bought it over the counter at GNC.

1:14:19🔗 Drew Okay. So you're just using glandular, over-the-counter Andrastean Dylon.

1:14:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:23🔗 Caller It's a sort of testosterone.

1:14:25🔗 Caller You let it dissolve under your clavicle.

1:14:26🔗 Drew Yeah. It's a testosterone precursor, which has some androgen effect, but it's not a huge amount. So it's not likely to have long-term effects. The first effect it would have, even if that were long-term effects, would be erectile dysfunction, which you're not having. Are you having a change in your sex drive?

1:14:42🔗 Caller No, no, not really.

1:14:44🔗 Drew So your sex drive is normal. So what you're saying is you don't like the size of your penis when it's flaccid.

1:14:50🔗 Caller Well, it's different than when it used to be prior to that.

1:14:55🔗 Drew And when was you started using the entry dial when you were 20?

1:14:57🔗 Caller Yeah, it was about 19, 20.

1:14:59🔗 Drew Have you changed your weight change or anything like that since then?

1:15:02🔗 Caller Well, when I started using it, within the first nine months to a year, I put on about 40 pounds, close to, and then once I started noticing this problem, I stopped using it, and my weight kind of kind of pretty much, I don't know if it crashed, but it did, and in six months I lost everything I had gained.

1:15:24🔗 Drew You went back to normal?

1:15:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:26🔗 Drew And that was 40 pounds of muscle weight, huh?

1:15:29🔗 Caller Well, no.

1:15:32🔗 Caller It was 40 pounds of, I think what it is, I think it was water retention or something, because it wasn't really solid muscle mass.

1:15:40🔗 Adam You can't, your warning count is a muscle myosin, six months.

1:15:43🔗 Drew You can't if you're taking heavy androgens. These guys do this. But AJ just sounds all screwed up, though, to me. He's preoccupied with his penis, and certain aspects of it doesn't look right.

1:15:52🔗 Adam Most guys with initial names are preoccupied about their penis. TJ, AJ, AJ, AC. AJ?

1:16:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:01🔗 Adam What's going on now? I mean, how's your life going?

1:16:06🔗 Caller It's going good.

1:16:08🔗 Drew What are you doing for a living?

1:16:10🔗 Caller I'm a CPA.

1:16:11🔗 Drew Do you have a girlfriend?

1:16:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:14🔗 Drew And you're worried about the size of your penis?

1:16:17🔗 Caller I'm worried about...

1:16:19🔗 Adam The quality of your reaction? No, no.

1:16:21🔗 Drew It wasn't even that. It's what his penis looks like, but it's flaccid.

1:16:24🔗 Caller Yeah. When it's flaccid, it's different than when it used to be. It actually shrivels up, you know, kind of, you know, rises back to the... I mean, it's smaller than it used to be when it was flaccid.

1:16:36🔗 Drew But when it's hard, it's as big as ever.

1:16:39🔗 Caller I would say it's as big as ever. I'm having a little bit of a, like a numbness at the tip, a little...

1:16:44🔗 Drew What does numbness have to do with the size?

1:16:47🔗 Caller What is that?

1:16:48🔗 Adam Hold on. CPA?

1:16:53🔗 Drew You passed your CPA exam? All parts?

1:16:55🔗 Adam You have people's money?

1:16:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Okay.

1:16:59🔗 Caller If you look at my question, it may sound a little...

1:17:03🔗 Drew No, you're not tracking, AJ. That's the problem. We ask you, is it the same size erect as before, and you say it's numb at the tip?

1:17:10🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, it has nothing to do with the size.

1:17:12🔗 Caller The size is the same.

1:17:13🔗 Caller I just...

1:17:14🔗 Adam All right.

1:17:15🔗 Drew I'll just say yes, then. The size is the same when erect. That's the answer to that question.

1:17:19🔗 Adam Okay. I think people would call this show, if they're not complaining about it, then it should just be an affirmative kind of thing. Like, you go, is your penis the same size as it was before you start taking the androgens?

1:17:31🔗 Drew No answer.

1:17:32🔗 Adam It hurts now.

1:17:34🔗 Drew Numb at the tip.

1:17:35🔗 Adam That means yes. That means yes, or they would be saying.

1:17:38🔗 Drew Yes.

1:17:38🔗 Adam They don't say anything.

1:17:39🔗 Drew We're supposed to assume affirmative. Right. Because we know it's them.

1:17:42🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't know. How about going to urologists, then, if it's numb at the tip?

1:17:46🔗 Drew Yeah. This whole story just doesn't make sense to me. And if you're worried that you're not...

1:17:50🔗 Adam But he's also... AJ sounds like a guy who's sort of primitive in his thought process and almost... You know, a lot of people do that, which is... This is how sort of superstitious people work. During a certain... something is happening in their life, a song comes on the radio and they get into a car crash, so they think that song is bad luck.

1:18:11🔗 Drew They make associations. Right.

1:18:12🔗 Adam Right. I was taking this and then I stopped and then my penis.

1:18:16🔗 Drew Right.

1:18:16🔗 Adam Well, it could be something to do with this.

1:18:18🔗 Drew Or it could be something else.

1:18:19🔗 Adam Or nothing. This could be anything or nothing. You should talk to a urologist.

1:18:23🔗 Drew Well, actually, you could start with a regular doctor, get... could be, God knows, some other medical problem or other endocrinological problems that need to be evaluated first, get that checked out. Certainly, they can check free testosterone, check sex hormone binding globulin, check thyroid and prolactin, these things. It can also... Maybe an endocrinologist would help you. And then I would sort of stay in the endocrine realm because you really don't have a urological problem and a urologist is not going to be able to judge whether or not the size has changed. That's something you're claiming, which I'm skeptical about, frankly. But have an endocrinologist take a look at whether or not something organic is going on here.

1:18:55🔗 Adam I've been watching a lot of this Jose Kinseko steroid baseball stuff. It's really funny because he's getting interviewed by 60 Minutes and he's like, yeah, I was on steroids my whole career. And then, you know, when I was on the A's with Mark McGuire, I used to inject him, you know. And you see these pictures of Mark McGuire, by the way. I mean, you see Mark McGuire the first five years of the league. Something sort of just, he was a lean guy. You really forget. I think guys like 6'5, you know. 6'5, guys, usually a little longer, a little more stretched out. You forget the old pictures of Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire. Oh, yeah. They're lean guys. Then you see Mark McGuire, you know, a picture of him rounding the bases later in his career. Oh, my God.

1:19:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:45🔗 Adam Totally different physique. Yeah. And the thing is, is, yeah, a guy can lift some weights, put some muscle on, but you don't turn into a bodybuilder.

1:19:54🔗 Drew No.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Unless that's what you're doing.

1:19:56🔗 Drew Right. Bodybuilders take lots of steroids.

1:19:58🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, these guys, you can see it in their thighs.

1:20:01🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:20:01🔗 Adam You can see the thighs. So all of a sudden, because they're wearing baseball pants, they're just sort of tight and clean. They're not old pictures of Mark Maguire. It's just, you know, just looked like a regular build guy, always a good size guy, but you know, thighs, ass, calves, and that kind of thing. You can see him turn the corners. It looks like a drawing of a football player.

1:20:19🔗 Guest Right.

1:20:20🔗 Adam It's crazy.

1:20:21🔗 Guest Right.

1:20:21🔗 Drew And these guys are saying that they didn't take steroids.

1:20:23🔗 Adam And the thing that's funny too is like, Konsega is like, yeah, when I was on Texas, I used to do Pudge Rodriguez, I do this other guy, and I do this other guy. And I gave them all the stuff and they did themselves and blah, blah, blah. They show these before and after pictures. And then the guy's comment is like, I don't know what he's talking about.

1:20:43🔗 Guest It's like, look...

1:20:46🔗 Drew Listen, this is the same people that Michael Jackson, no plastic surgery. Yeah. No, I'm not talking about it. He never had plastic surgery.

1:20:52🔗 Adam I know it's incredible. It's like, first off, just take a look at a little before and after shot. And secondly, I understand people make up lies and people write erroneous things and books and things like that. But one of your teammates, who by the way wasn't a bat boy, he was hitting 40-40. I mean, this guy was the first guy to steal 40 bases and hit 40 home runs in a season. The guy's got 450-something home runs to his credit, was an all-star. I think it was National League Player of the Year or something like that in late 80s. He's an all-star. He's a superstar too. He's just saying, yeah, we sat in a clubhouse, I gave him the thing and he injected himself.

1:21:36🔗 Drew And by the way, are we shocked? A, the evidence is obvious when you look at these guys and their body images. But secondly, I've never heard of steroids in professional sports. Oh my God.

1:21:46🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. And then the other thing is, you know, the Maris' 59 home run thing sticks around for 50 years, and then all of a sudden everyone just starts breaking it. Yeah, that just happened too. And by the way, broken by two guys who look completely different than when they entered the league ten years earlier.

1:22:08🔗 Drew They're eating more, Adam.

1:22:10🔗 Adam Well, they got a good work ethic.

1:22:12🔗 Drew Work ethic. Yeah, they're working on more of these things.

1:22:13🔗 Adam Well, he takes care of himself. Yeah. All right. I just think it's funny when someone specifically names the people that they actually shot the juice with, and I don't think, look, I don't think Konseko is going to win any awards for courtesy or any congeniality, but he's just sitting there saying, I injected the guy. What are you going to do? I was on it and so was he.

1:22:40🔗 Drew He's no Mr. Excitement.

1:22:41🔗 Adam No. Not like the Ace man. That's right. Jackie Wilson.

1:22:44🔗 Caller All right.

1:22:46🔗 Drew One question. Come on.

1:22:47🔗 Adam All right. Let's go to break. Really?

1:22:49🔗 Drew You want to?

1:22:49🔗 Adam Do most guys prefer BJ's sex or beating off? All right.

1:22:56🔗 Caller Yes.

1:22:57🔗 Adam What's up?

1:22:58🔗 Caller I was just wondering if most guys prefer masturbating to either Orzex or intercourse.

1:23:05🔗 Adam Wow. Well, first off, Drew is a man of exquisite passion. So he would never prefer anything other than the actual intercourse. But, the question remains...

1:23:19🔗 Drew No. No question.

1:23:21🔗 Adam Who can't do it? He can't do it.

1:23:23🔗 Drew That's it.

1:23:23🔗 Adam He can't do it.

1:23:24🔗 Drew So answer a question. No.

1:23:26🔗 Adam No. Drew says no.

1:23:28🔗 Drew Guys do not prefer anything to say. Some guys like oral to sex.

1:23:33🔗 Adam Yeah. I could take a BJ.

1:23:34🔗 Drew But I don't really think a usual guy would prefer masturbation to anything.

1:23:41🔗 Adam Let me give you some circumstances, though. Now, it's not, you know, honeymooning couples. Of course not. But, maybe take a couple that's been together for quite some time. Maybe.

1:23:55🔗 Drew Add a few pounds.

1:23:56🔗 Adam Maybe there's a couple of pounds. Maybe there's a little baggage, a little tension. A little whatever. Something's going on.

1:24:02🔗 Drew Well done.

1:24:02🔗 Adam And I'm not talking about a couple's been together for 28 years. That's maybe the guy's been with you for two years. Maybe something's going on. I don't know. And maybe he gives himself a new Jenna Jameson DVD or something.

1:24:16🔗 Drew He might prefer that.

1:24:17🔗 Adam But at one time. You couldn't say to him, though, you'll always have to use the DVD. He would say no.

1:24:22🔗 Drew Yep, you're right.

1:24:23🔗 Adam Thank you. But not Drew. Passionate man. Passionate.

1:24:30🔗 Caller Adam.

1:24:31🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:24:32🔗 Caller If you were in the mood for sex and you didn't have enough energy, would you prefer masturbating at that time, though?

1:24:41🔗 Drew No, that's not... You don't have enough energy, I mean, you're going to sleep.

1:24:43🔗 Adam If you're in the mood for sex, you're... Yeah.

1:24:46🔗 Drew Yeah, you don't have enough energy. You're tired, you're going to sleep. If you're saying, I don't have enough energy, and then you're jacking off, there's something wrong with the relationship.

1:24:54🔗 Adam They're saying you don't have enough for sex.

1:24:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:56🔗 Adam Yeah. But hold on, how dare you for a second. There is a... There's an emotional component to it. Sometimes you're not emotionally up to it. Yeah. But as a guy, too, because as a guy, you feel like, all right, I got to do this, I got to do that, I got to be present, we got to hug. It's going to be horrible. Like, I just want to... There's times... It's sort of like going to the mall or something. It's like, I need some socks, but I don't really have the energy for the mall. See what I'm saying?

1:25:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:25🔗 Guest All right.

1:25:26🔗 Drew Now we can take a break.

1:25:26🔗 Adam Coming around, buddy.

1:25:28🔗 Guest Shauna?

1:25:29🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:25:30🔗 Adam It's almost finger-popping time, so we got to go.

1:25:34🔗 Caller All right, go finger-pop.

1:25:35🔗 Adam All right, baby doll, take a quick break, be right back after this. Loveline.

1:25:43🔗 Caller It's Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

1:25:47🔗 You're listening to 91X's Loveline.

1:25:57🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:26:00🔗 Adam Get it on. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. That's exciting here. Finger-popping time. Ronnie?

1:26:08🔗 Caller Yes.

1:26:09🔗 Adam 18?

1:26:10🔗 Caller Yes.

1:26:11🔗 Adam Are you a virgin?

1:26:13🔗 Caller Yes, I am. Yeah, my girlfriend and I both.

1:26:17🔗 Guest Wow. It's funny.

1:26:18🔗 Adam See, now Ronnie is 18 and he's calling from Arizona. Nobody from the show 18 calling from Arizona is a virgin, but yet his voice.

1:26:25🔗 Drew Told the story.

1:26:26🔗 Adam Yes, betrays him. Go ahead, Ronnie.

1:26:29🔗 Caller All right.

1:26:30🔗 Adam Actually, it says virgins on the screen, but I didn't see it.

1:26:34🔗 Caller Okay. My question is, my fiance and I, we're both virgins, but we have slutting naked together in a bed. We have fold around together. Sure. What we've done is I would take my penis and I would tickle her clit, and I would just like, and I will not accidentally, but I did ejaculate above her clit one time, and I don't know, I just-

1:27:00🔗 Guest Well, hold on, Robbie. Hold on a second.

1:27:02🔗 Adam First off, above her clit could be anywhere up into the stratosphere. Okay.

1:27:07🔗 Caller Like her hair.

1:27:07🔗 Adam I mean, it could go from about 28 inches off the ground, all the way up to commercial airliner's height. I mean, you got to be more specific. Yeah. I kept it within the stratosphere. That's good.

1:27:20🔗 Caller Okay. Yeah. To be that.

1:27:21🔗 Adam Seventy-five thousand feet or something.

1:27:23🔗 Caller It was like right there where her hair was and all that stuff.

1:27:26🔗 Drew Okay.

1:27:27🔗 Adam All right.

1:27:28🔗 Drew By the way, to me, this is strangely more intimate than sex, what he's describing.

1:27:32🔗 Adam At least he's doing it in a more intimate, at least a comfortable way. Okay. So that happened. All right.

1:27:41🔗 Caller Okay.

1:27:42🔗 Caller Okay. The question is, could she get pregnant at all? Anyway, like, by doing that.

1:27:49🔗 Adam We would say it is not impossible.

1:27:52🔗 Drew But highly unlikely. Are you worried about the sperm going through her skin? Where do you think, how's it going to get there?

1:27:57🔗 Caller Well, I don't know if maybe some got down there, like when I was like, when I was like using my head, my penis to give an orgasm, you know, to maybe discharge or anything, cause anything, I don't know.

1:28:13🔗 Drew Unlikely.

1:28:14🔗 Adam It's like saying, you know, shooting a bullet up in the air. Could it kill somebody?

1:28:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:28:18🔗 Adam Yes. Is it going to kill somebody? Probably not.

1:28:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:28:23🔗 Adam All right, so you're all right, but it seems like you're getting to that place now where you're going to have sex, so you've got to be prepared.

1:28:30🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, we'll be getting married soon. I mean, it's like, you know, the temptation kicks in.

1:28:37🔗 Drew They're going to wait until marriage.

1:28:38🔗 Adam Are you guys religious?

1:28:40🔗 Caller Yes.

1:28:41🔗 Adam All right. What are you? What do you got going on there?

1:28:43🔗 Caller Well, we're Christians.

1:28:44🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

1:28:45🔗 Drew And again, does the church have something to say about the activities you are engaged in?

1:28:51🔗 Adam Clit tickling is not prohibited in the Bible.

1:28:55🔗 Drew In the rule book? You've seen it in the rule book? Have you read the rule book?

1:28:57🔗 Adam I have. There's nothing about clit tickling. All right. And then ejaculating on the clitoris.

1:29:03🔗 Drew And what is sexual about that? It's like a rape.

1:29:06🔗 Adam It's not sexual. It's not sexual. It's a violent crime. Yeah. But a virgin.

1:29:12🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. A vocal virgin.

1:29:16🔗 Adam Let me tell you about the Bible. The Bible really is no different than the IRS. It's just...

1:29:22🔗 Drew Full of exceptions.

1:29:23🔗 Adam No. They laid down a bunch of rules and it's now your job to see if you can work around them within the sort of technical parameters of them so you don't get busted.

1:29:34🔗 Drew It certainly seems that's what people do. Yeah. The whole spirit of it's been completely lost.

1:29:39🔗 Adam I'm a very, you know, I'm a born-again Christian. I don't have intercourse. I might do a little decorating. You know what I mean?

1:29:50🔗 Drew Yes. I know what you mean. I just heard a guy know what you mean.

1:29:53🔗 Adam To me, it really is sort of the height of retardism, where you just, have we evolved? Have we evolved from primitive man much at all? No?

1:30:05🔗 Drew Doesn't seem like it.

1:30:06🔗 Adam You don't want to chuck something in a volcano, make it go away that way? Is that crazy? That's crazier?

1:30:13🔗 Drew But here's the thing. They're going to follow the letter of something as a technical way of fulfilling the spirit and then missing the spirit altogether.

1:30:24🔗 Adam Well, yeah, and obviously, there's no book big enough to deal with that tickling the clitoris and have an orgasm on the pubic pad. There's just no book big enough that says you can't do that.

1:30:38🔗 Drew You'll find something, something doesn't mention.

1:30:41🔗 Adam There's nothing about 69ing, there's nothing about anal.

1:30:45🔗 Drew Well, there is about that.

1:30:46🔗 Adam In the Torah, I think there's something about anal. Yeah. All right, you ready? Let's just talk to Cammie. Cammie?

1:30:52🔗 Caller Hi, this is Cammie.

1:30:54🔗 Adam You're 18. That's trouble. Cammie is a troublesome name. Yeah. A lot of people do that. There's no one in Yale named Cammie. I can guarantee you that, right? If you took Cambridge, Yale.

1:31:08🔗 Drew New Haven's got a bunch of strip clubs, though.

1:31:09🔗 Adam No, no, no. If you took Cambridge and you took New Haven, and no, no, actually, I'm not trying to think of Cambridge. It took Princeton and they took Brown. It took all the Ivy League schools. What's the ones I'm thinking of in England?

1:31:26🔗 Drew Oxford and Cambridge.

1:31:27🔗 Adam Yeah, Cambridge. I am thinking. You should let me go.

1:31:29🔗 Drew I thought you were talking about Cambridge, Massachusetts or Harvard.

1:31:32🔗 Adam No, I'm talking about Cambridge and Oxford. Took them all, put them all together. A tiny female student body.

1:31:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:38🔗 Adam Not one Cammie, not one Tammy. Maybe a Tammy. Maybe one Tammy, but faculty. She's faculty. Cammie?

1:31:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:31:48🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:31:48🔗 Drew What's the question?

1:31:49🔗 Caller Okay. Well, I have a boyfriend and I've been with him for a while and we became sexually active and he just doesn't last long. I don't know what it is, like 10 minutes max.

1:32:04🔗 Drew That's actually about average.

1:32:06🔗 Caller Well, yeah. Well, that's just like one time. Usually the average is like less than five minutes, seriously.

1:32:12🔗 Adam All right. There's really not anything to do.

1:32:14🔗 Drew That's just him. What do you mean? What do you think? That somebody's gonna change?

1:32:18🔗 Adam He's gotta give you some good oral sex.

1:32:20🔗 Caller I've had other guys before and I don't know.

1:32:23🔗 Drew Yeah. Every man is different and that's his timing.

1:32:26🔗 Adam Can he give you some oral sex?

1:32:28🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

1:32:29🔗 Caller Well, he'll last longer with that. I'm just like-

1:32:32🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:32:32🔗 Caller You.

1:32:34🔗 Drew He'll last longer.

1:32:34🔗 Adam I know. Can he give you-

1:32:38🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

1:32:38🔗 Adam Are you going to junior college?

1:32:41🔗 Caller No, not yet.

1:32:42🔗 Drew Not even.

1:32:43🔗 Adam You're going though, right?

1:32:45🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:32:47🔗 Adam I would love to see a chart between the Ivy League Cammies and the junior college Cammies. Ivy League Cammies, just flat lines, just nothing. Junior college. 120 years of college, it should be nothing, nothing. But like 1941, there was a little blip because someone won first for a quarter and then dropped out. But that was it. And junior college is predominantly Cammie. We actually haven't had anybody here, not named Cammie. You were asking for trouble when you go for Cammie.

1:33:15🔗 Caller Why did you do it?

1:33:17🔗 Adam Do I remember wrong about Cammie?

1:33:18🔗 Drew No, you've never been.

1:33:19🔗 Adam Thank you. Alright baby, have him give you some oral sex and we'll be back after this. Yeah, that's the show.

1:33:52🔗 Drew Well, Mr. Excitement once again.

1:33:54🔗 Adam Yeah, finger popping time.

1:33:56🔗 Guest I want to thank Boogity Boogity Boogity Boogity Shoop.

1:33:59🔗 Adam I want to thank Engineer Anderson, of course, you're doing a wonderful job all week long, going above and beyond. I want to thank Engineer Chris and Engineer What's-his-nose, who filled in for Engineer Chris and did a fantastic. Rick, Rick, cool guy Rick came in here last night, did a great job. I want to thank phone screener Brian. I want to thank producer Anne. I want to thank Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Producer Lauren, who's stepping it up. Oh, yeah. On her game. It's it's a new her. She was she was dormant like a gator at the zoo. Just waiting for the first couple of years. But how someone put a Bunsen burner on her now? She's a new woman.

1:34:46🔗 Drew Crocodile now.

1:34:47🔗 Caller God bless her.

1:34:48🔗 Adam We'll take ourselves a little extendo break. And until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:34:56🔗 Guest This has been Loveline.

1:35:01🔗 Caller The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station.

1:35:08🔗 Adam The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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