0:57🔗
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.
1:13🔗
Voiceover
This is Loveline. With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. The guest tonight. The guest is the love the two hosts find between each other.
1:41🔗
Drew
Let me get this done with here, please. iTunes giveaway. First 10 callers that are over 18 tonight win an iTunes gift card valued at $99. First 10 of you. Come on, now.
1:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Big sign on the street says 99 bucks hardwired in your car. $486 later. I got one. I can't work. It's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. You know, you know, you know, you get the phone call. Where do you want the where do you want the iPod itself in your car?
2:23🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'll put it anywhere. Where do you want it? I put it in the little console in between the two seats. I'll put it in the little thing that flaps up in there. Yeah. All right. Go pick the car up. There's a cord just sitting on the passenger seat. So the iPod is just sort of floating around the passenger seat. Here's my problem. And here's why it's great doing business with me. I'm always in a hurry and I can always go back and fix stuff myself. See, if I were you, I'd have to wait there and say, you got to I just look at it and go, screw it. I'll drill the hole. I'll push a thing through.
2:59🔗
Adam
I don't even mind except for the part where they ask. You know, that part of life. How would you like this? I'd like it this way. All right. Not going to get that. Yeah. How'd you like that tuna cooked? Actually, I just like it rare. All right.
3:16🔗
OK.
3:26🔗
Yes.
3:39🔗
Oh, yeah.
3:40🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. The wheeze. Yeah. Yeah. He's a really funny guy, Polly Shore. I saw him walking down some red carpet once and on TV and he was with Savannah. And somebody put a microphone in and said, where did you two meet? And he said, planet wheeze. And I thought, wow, that's some that's some good stuff.
4:06🔗
Adam
I have no idea. Some guys I'm working with on my show said they worked on his show. Yeah, it's good times. Well, planet wheeze, you can't do better than that. Not in the comic, not in the comedy department.
4:20🔗
Adam
Oh, if I labeled myself the wheeze, it would be planet wheeze, my world the wheeze. You know what my car would be? The wheeze mobile. Sure. You want to go to the wheeze pad? That's my house. This is where the wheeze lays his head. That's the bed. You know what I mean? Take a dip in the wheeze pond. That's the pool. It's all some funny stuff. Planet wheeze.
4:42🔗
I got you.
4:46🔗
Yeah.
4:53🔗
Adam
You know what? It's amazing. It's bizarre that a guy like Shore's having a little trouble getting back on track career-wise with the wheeze. You know, it's great stuff. I don't think you can hold them down much longer. You know what I mean? I think the man can hold him down much longer. You can't hold back that kind of material. Planet wheeze? No way.
5:14🔗
No way.
5:28🔗
Drew
Oxycodone is Percocet. It's a shorter acting. Boxycontin is a long acting version of oxycodone.
5:46🔗
Caller
I don't know. I mean, I haven't took it for a while, but there's these times where I feel I have to do something. I'm starting to get very depressed.
5:57🔗
Adam
Where do you get 25 oxycodone a day? Like I couldn't get a goddamn fruit roll up when I was 17. Do you understand? I couldn't get a combination burrito when I was 17. Where do you get 25? There's no way I couldn't get like generic Robitussin. Where do you get this stuff? Where do you have the money who gives it to you? Who do you know?
6:29🔗
Drew
Well, you're already there. You don't have to worry about setting the path. You're there. And so, Savannah, look, you've got to talk to a mental health service provider who's used to dealing with severe addiction.
6:40🔗
Caller
I mean, I'm sitting in my room alone, listening to bittersweet symphony. It's tearing me down. I don't want to do this without-
6:48🔗
Drew
Look, Savannah, you need help. You're not going to be able to overcome this by yourself. This is a disorder. It's active. It's a severe illness. It has a horrible prognosis. It's like if you had cancer or heart disease or anything else, you need to get help with this. OK?
7:05🔗
Adam
How do you rip off 25 oxycodones from one- I mean, if your entire family had cancer, if one family member has cancer, you get 25 a day.
7:34🔗
Adam
No bottom on this one. He gets one of those wheeled in by a nurse and a busty nurse in a candy-striper suit every day. And she just digs a big handful of them.
7:45🔗
Adam
She fills a paper bag. How many of those do you eat? And by the way, if you're in whatever stages of cancer, there's still 25 is, you know what I mean?
7:57🔗
Drew
How come your grandfather, the question then becomes, Savannah, how come your grandfather doesn't miss the pills you're ripping off? Let me ask you this, what was that? Are you calling in prescriptions on his behalf?
8:34🔗
Adam
So you take a two and a half day supply per month, that leaves you with 26, 27, 28 more days that you've got to fill out. How do you get it?
8:55🔗
Adam
Well, the reason I'm confused is because I'm talking to a white chick about math. You know what I'm saying?
9:01🔗
Adam
Ironically, if she was Asian, she wouldn't be strung out, but we could have the math conversation. Very ironic.
9:06🔗
Drew
Opiate addiction under 18 has a different manifestation. They go on and off it much more easily. Something about the developing brain under the 18. For instance, I've treated heroin addicted, strung out heroin addict 16 year olds who have no withdrawal. They stop, they walk away, no withdrawal. Now they always go back because the drive systems are there. They're still addicted, but they don't have the dependency and the withdrawal problems. So that's why it's confusing. You take 25 and then none. That's how teenagers sometimes use opiates. But the problem is she's severely depressed, she's severely destructive, she's ripping off opiates. She's an opiate addict regardless of whether she's using them every day or not. You need help, Savannah. Please get help with this. Please, please, please. This is a horrible situation you're in. It's treatable, but you don't have to suffer like this, alright?
9:51🔗
Adam
Alright, just go get some help. It's her parents' fault for naming her Savannah. You're just asking for trouble, aren't you?
9:59🔗
Yeah.
10:08🔗
Drew
You didn't shave. That's the only thing I know. I didn't shave. You shaved last night. You didn't shave tonight. That's different.
10:17🔗
Drew
Do you want me to answer your goddamn question or not? I'm trying to think of things that look different tonight.
10:22🔗
Drew
That's what it looks different. That's the only thing I can see it looks different. Anything else I should notice?
10:31🔗
Adam
No, no. You're talking about shave. I would never ask you what looks different about me. Here's the thing about Drew. Let me tell you something. You make a horrible detective. He, meaning me, who never shaves, would never come in here with three days growth and say, what looks different about me?
10:46🔗
Drew
But you're someone who's, whenever I say no or I don't know, freak out. I'm trying to say something positive. I'm trying to say, well, that's all I see.
10:52🔗
Adam
You didn't shave. It's not exactly something positive. I wouldn't ask you. But here's the thing, you got a deductive reason. I would never ask you. I look like this every single night in my beard.
11:17🔗
Adam
I do. I know. You know what I love? Here's where I realized where I was getting this facial. And the world has convinced, we've convinced women that they have, that there's products that can actually change them or save them or protect them or do really anything. So far, the only thing I've figured out works is sunscreen and Nyquil.
11:39🔗
Drew
Let me share a similar story with you. I think I've had two facials in my life. And the one, this woman is sitting there, gives me like a 30-minute diatribe while she's giving me, you've got to do this and this product and this.
11:50🔗
Drew
And she goes, oh, yes, I know. I've had horrible acne, I've had adult acne. I go, really? Oh, I use this, I use that. And she goes, yeah, it's all awful. Until I got an Accutane that took care of it.
12:04🔗
Adam
I know. I had to explain, please listen, ladies. The woman's like, oh, you have nice skin. What do you do? I say, I don't even use. She's like, well, you don't use bar soap, do you? I'm like, no, I don't use any soap. I don't use cleaning. I don't use cleaning products.
12:27🔗
Adam
I wash my ears when I wash my face. When I do Kimmel and they put makeup on me or I do some TV show, they put makeup on me and I put all that hair goo in. I go take a shower and bust out the shampoo. I put a little extra dollop in my hand and wash my face with the suave shampoo. That's how it works. Other than that, there's no exfoliating, there's no hydrating, there's no cleansing, there's no nothing. Nothing. And as far as the makeup goes, that takes three days to wear off. Because I see it on the towel three days later. They've never used anything ever.
13:02🔗
Drew
But you got a half hour dissertation on this though tonight, no doubt. And all the products you should be using.
13:06🔗
Adam
Oh, you should be using. Before you go to bed, you moisturize, and then you put a glad bag on your head, and you tie a rope around it. You fill the glad bag with the essence of papaya and Vaseline, you put the black bag, I think she's trying to kill me. You put a zip to garden hose, you wrap around the thing.
13:36🔗
Adam
And I just kept saying there, you don't, I mean, I know, you know, I don't want to freak out. I don't want to discuss you. I, you know how long it takes me to go through a bar of soap? It takes me about three years to go through a bar of soap. And it usually just withers on the vine, eventually falls through the drain. And shampoo-wise, I got the same shampoo I've had six years ago.
14:08🔗
Adam
Well, whatever it is, is what it is. But I never it never has been touched by anything. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.
14:16🔗
Adam
It would be exactly the same. Exactly the same. Yes. You know what she did? She steamed my face and then squeezed a couple of blackheads on my nose, which weren't even blackheads, just as little snakes you get, which immediately fill back up the next day. So I'm starting to think God wants them there. Maybe that's just really that's just God's a little Rubik's Cube for you to play with, like when you're prison or something. Yeah, it's a toy. Snakes in your nose. But that was about it. And I just realized, look, it's like it's nice. You know, zits, everything now. Genetic, your weight, your hair, everything, everything. And there's a multi billion dollar business trying to convince everyone they can do something when they can't. People who have bad skin have bad skin. You can go in to you can start getting pharmacology involved now. Yeah. Now. But you eating fried food, you eating chocolate, you not drinking enough water, you're not hydrating enough. That's why. And it's so pompous for people who do have nice hair or nice skin or nice abs or nice anything to explain to the rest of the world who didn't get a very good hand out to them what they're doing wrong. Because do the math. I'm doing it right. Look at me. Not as it. Look at you covered with sits. You're doing something wrong. And in a way, if you take it a step further, it's like, well, you're being punished. Look at you. You're being punished because look at your bad skin. Look at your belly. You're eating bad food. You're not exercising. You're not hydrating.
15:53🔗
Drew
You're the devil. The devil's possessing you. Are you doing something? You know, you're doing something. God's punishing you or whatever.
15:59🔗
Adam
That carbuncle on your forehead that just winked at me. But you deserve it because you're lazy.
16:03🔗
Drew
Isn't there something crazy, primitive about men, humans that make them do that, right? Yeah. We can stop.
16:09🔗
Adam
Oh, look at that fat ass. So lazy, fat slob, slob. Yeah. Yeah, Drew. So I, I found out I have combination skin with an oily T-zone. Oh, I'm your biggest nightmare in that place. I literally wash, I wash my face once a month with shampoo. Do you understand?
16:33🔗
Adam
My wife has seventy thousand dollars worth of crap that I bought sitting in her bathroom. That's all made. Oh, oh, you know, how many cucumbers she has stuffed? Oh, they go for that crap. Oh, no. Oh, please. No, you can't. And when you hear when I hear, oh, you can't get this stuff at the ride. And I just she ching ching. You got to go ching. You have to charter jet to a French ching ching. It's like it's it's it's it's all just nonsense. It's all BS. If you get it's genetic. Go go get on Accutane. Go ask for some pill. That's about it. All right. All right. There you go, everybody.
17:15🔗
Drew
But the lasers, the phototherapies, something that do work, by the way. But then it goes are medically managed.
17:24🔗
Adam
You rubbing something that smells like papaya on your face doesn't do. And by the way, when you look at all those stupid products, first of all, you know, once a year John Stossel pipes up and says, does a little test with the, you know, $2 shampoo versus the crap Sarah Jessica Parker uses for $18.95 an ounce. Always the same crap. It's always the same. And this one has a essence of papaya. But here's the deal. It's one tenth of one percent of papaya. It is whatever whatever the picture is on the thing. It doesn't even contain contain any of that. Or if it is, it's it's unmeasurable. Yes, you know what it contains 99 percent of? The stuff that's in the two dollar stuff. That's what it's 99 percent of, you idiots.
18:09🔗
Drew
And whatever, by the way, it does have that one percent of is simply something to catch your attention. There's no evidence it does. Jack.
18:16🔗
Adam
Well, who decided papaya was good for cleaning hair? Do you know what I mean? Go go buy a papaya and rub it on your head. See how you feel the next day. Wake up the flies on your head. Oh, you people. Michelle, you're a lesbian. You don't fall for all that crap, do you?
18:32🔗
I use bar soap.
18:38🔗
Adam
Too much information. Yeah. Hope it's got a rope on it, baby, so you can get it back. Yeah, you put knots in it and you mark the twine. You put knots on it to say you can tell the depth.
18:57🔗
Adam
You feed it in. That's where knots comes from. That's how you know how fast your vagina is going.
19:11🔗
Hi. My boyfriend has been... Well, we have a really good sex life, but he's been wanting to have a three-way.
19:22🔗
Oh, I guess I'm just nervous. No, Karen. Anyway, I know it can cause problems in a relationship.
19:33🔗
Well, he was willing... Well, I'm interested in being with a woman. I never have been. And he would be willing just to watch, but...
19:42🔗
Drew
Oh, Karen, what is up with you? Something not so good. Are you on medication? What are you taking?
19:51🔗
I'm taking, uh, Wellbutrin.
19:56🔗
Um, yeah, I'm just really nervous.
20:02🔗
Drew
So you're depressed. Anything else? Do you have, like, a personality problem they've given you a diagnosis of or anything?
20:06🔗
What kind of problem?
20:14🔗
Uh, well, I have anxiety attacks.
20:25🔗
No.
20:32🔗
Drew
All that curiosity and all that stuff is either a... You're 25. You're not 16. If you were 16 and saying this, we'd say, oh, you're probably lesbian, you're having trouble with dealing with that, not wanting to be, or whatever. But 25 in a monogamous relationship, it's like, you're trying to create hell, create chaos in a relationship. Why?
21:11🔗
Caller
I don't know, not that well. I guess I'm kind of at a point in my life where I don't know what I want to do next.
21:34🔗
Adam
It's gonna be a nonstop party over there. I'm just picturing you just like on the Lido deck of the love boat, you know what I mean? The conga line. I'm picturing just a fiesta over there dancing on the ceiling.
21:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. Metal drum. Karen, here's the thing. Okay. Sorry. Okay. You sound really depressed and just like you're on the verge of crying with almost every syllable and you just seem like a full blown bummer.
22:10🔗
Drew
And I don't know if you got to, like, You're bumming us, but you're yourself. No, no, I don't care, but yourself and everyone around you and, And the threesome's not going to bring a spark in your life.
22:20🔗
Adam
It's not going to do anything for you. You have much bigger fish to fry. So how about some therapy?
22:36🔗
Drew
Strangely, on this Discovery Health show I'm doing tonight, is How to Ruin Your Sex Life. I just started, you know, I started, they asked me, well, how would you ruin, turn me up?
22:46🔗
Drew
And the one thing that, one of the things I wanted to bring out was, Papaya. Threesome's. Threesome's is cheating and stuff.
23:13🔗
Drew
So wherever you're watching it, it's in two hours. No, it's actually, there's two feeds on Wednesday nights. But be that as it may, we need to-
23:25🔗
Drew
For the time being. All right. And I just think that people that try to sort of spark things up by cheating because they think that there's not, you know, they sort of get these impulses to do these things that are so unhealthy under the guise of, well, we really need to, you know, I need to spark things. I mean, to do things. I'm feeling not right. I got to- That's all horrible, horrible impulses.
23:44🔗
Adam
Well, you know, the spark things up by cheating, I think, is just BS because somebody wants to cheat. I don't think anyone legitimately thinks that's going to do it.
23:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I don't know what, you know, the candles and the bath salts and all that. I'm trying to think what- Here's what really- I'm trying to think, like, legitimately, what breathes a little life into the sex life, what a guy can do. What a guy can do is listen a little bit during the day, tell- send some flowers just because, tell someone they look great.
24:22🔗
Adam
Spend a little time, hang out, suggest, oh, we're going to get a picnic and go to the Hollywood Ball.
24:26🔗
Drew
And then, by the way, attend to the medical issues. In this woman's case, get your depression treated. That's what needs to be done. That's what's going to save your relationship.
24:36🔗
Adam
As far as what the ladies could do, put down the chaminique and pick up the suave and start sucking.
24:49🔗
Adam
Here lies Adam Corolla, faithful son, father. Start sucking. Chiseling that into the granite. All right, let's take ourselves a break, Drew.
25:04🔗
Adam
All right, why don't we come back and speak to what Chris Mom doesn't know he's by. Then speak to David.
25:10🔗
Adam
David, 350 pounds, girlfriend's 260, sexual positions that can work. I don't know, I smell bogus. David?
25:17🔗
Yeah.
25:22🔗
I'm 53.
25:28🔗
Drew
The reason it sounds bogus is because there are not fat people that have to ask that question. They figure that out.
25:41🔗
Adam
Well, I don't want to I don't want to tip the boy. But unless he calls and says, we've been dating for six months, we've not done the deed yet.
26:28🔗
Adam
Hey everybody, it's the Love Line of Madem, that's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-er. Yeah.
26:53🔗
Uh-huh.
27:00🔗
Yes.
27:02🔗
Caller
Yeah. Me and my girl. You already know the overweight thing. It's not bad that we haven't had, because already we did for the first two times, but just so frustrating.
27:23🔗
Caller
Yeah. We're both trying to lose weight together, but as we're doing that, we still want to...
27:30🔗
Caller
It's just the position. I mean, that we go in, me on top or her on top or, you know, the side or the back.
27:39🔗
Adam
All right, Drew, what would you... I would say, off the top of my head, your best bet is you on the bottom.
28:32🔗
Adam
Drew, a man of such passion that he defies. He's a Dr. Seuss like sexual imagination. Awesome.
29:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, she got to... She got to absorb some of it with her knees. What... What diet are you on?
29:30🔗
Drew
What are you trying to do for that? I would think pretty much anything would cover that. I don't know that, but it's such a preventative measure in terms of the complication of diabetes and whatnot.
29:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right. I would look in the gastric bypass and I would look into Drew's position.
29:50🔗
Drew
Should we call it that from now on? Well, Drew's position. You know what I'm talking about?
29:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's she's on the she's on her back. Lie down on the console for a second.
30:03🔗
Adam
Yes. She's lying on her back and she's all the way at the edge of the bed. They need a bed that's a little bit higher that you can sort of get to a little. And then you stand there. Yeah, that's good. OK, that's awesome, David.
30:18🔗
Adam
Yeah, no, I do. No, that's good. See, I don't always disagree with you. You make sense like twice a year. And I'm like, that's right. I'm down with them.
30:27🔗
Drew
What I can understand is I can't believe you would not. That's like that's like an imagined. That's like a missionary.
30:39🔗
Adam
It's got a little flavor on it, though. Yeah. Yeah, OK. But you know, you need a prop. See, here's the whole thing. You can't pull that off on a futon. No, that's the thing. You need a mattress and box spring. So it was many years of my life. I just had the mattress on the floor. You know what I mean? The futon mattress on the floor. Then the sofa pullout. You know, you need a legitimate mattress. Yeah. You need to be able to work. You got to get your subject up, you know, in the working position. Yes. You need to get the operating position. You need to get it up there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I refer to the lady as it when I'm talking sex. Yeah. It's just more comfortable. It's the way I prefer it. Hey, guys.
31:26🔗
Oh.
31:34🔗
Caller
Um, yeah, I have a situation. Um, I have a boyfriend, and I am bi, and my mom doesn't really know about it yet.
32:56🔗
Drew
Yeah. And Adam, when somebody has been abused, there's a certain sort of affective quality they take on that evokes abuse from Adam.
33:16🔗
Adam
Well, that's how the gays do it. I'll tell you one of the characteristics of the person that was abused is the, huh? Why?
33:27🔗
Adam
All they do is the beat, the beat, the beat. And it always drives me nuts. And yes, they do respond to it.
33:34🔗
Adam
Every conversation is a handball game against the drapes. Never get anything. It's there anywhere. It's really passive aggressive. I don't know if they mean it that way.
33:44🔗
Drew
No, no, no. They have no volitional quality. In fact, I have a totally different response to it. And I felt it when I, you know, was, you don't feel that it's passive aggressive. Oh, it is passive aggressive, but I don't respond to it. I feel, I feel the pain. I hear their pain.
33:57🔗
Adam
I find myself sort of lap number three of trying to get the same question out. I find myself thinking rageful. Like just beat it, just get lost, and stop wasting my time, you know? I feel, you know what I feel like? I feel like somebody pulls me over and asks me for directions, and I explain to them, and they keep saying, what, what, what? And about the third time, I'm doing them the favor with the directions. I just get mad and I speed off. That's what I feel like.
34:23🔗
Drew
But you gotta remember, when they've been abused like that, they go into the world and I understand that.
35:10🔗
Drew
All right. So no wonder you're angry with your mom. Your mom's a drug addict or something, right?
35:13🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I'm a foster kid, so if I were to say anything like that, I would be in therapy and I would have so much I would never be alone, basically.
35:39🔗
Drew
All right. So here's the deal. He's got a lot going on. His sexual orientation is a minimal, minimal piece of his big picture problems. He's in foster care, drug addicted mom, sexual abuse and his well, let me say this, Drew.
35:56🔗
Adam
No, I believe. I believe. I believe. I believe everything happens for a reason. Please, anyone who ever interviews those people that that actually crap that worn out trite statement when they trot that crap out, please, whoever's interviewing them, say, what the F are you talking about, you idiot? Or do you have nothing to say and that's just what you say?
36:28🔗
Drew
But Chris, it would be a good idea to get involved with some kind of treatment process. Just focus on positive relationships, okay? Don't worry about your mom declaring a preference with her.
36:37🔗
Caller
No, we'll see. The thing is I have a relationship with my boyfriend and it's going good and everything except that my mom doesn't know him very well, but she hates him for no reason.
36:53🔗
Caller
And I can't have a relationship with anybody unless I can see them and stuff like that.
36:59🔗
Adam
Chris, Chris, as you, as you may know, I've labeled myself a genius. And because I'm a genius, I'm never wrong about estimating genius. So now that we've established I'm a genius, you're going to need to listen to me.
37:14🔗
Adam
Okay. You are not a stupid person. And believe me, I talk to many stupid people every night. Oftentimes, actually right here in the studio. You are not that person, but you have been twisted and bent and screwed with and tortured so much that you could live the life of a stupid person or even worse, a hustler, a criminal. You could have been sort of damaged so badly at a young age that you could live a horrible, tortured life where not only you victimize other people, but yourself.
37:57🔗
Adam
You're 15 years old. You have a foster family. These are people. These are saints that have come into your life and replaced your horrible, horrible biological parents.
38:11🔗
Adam
Please, slow down. Always remember, your foster mother is not your junkie, abandoning, loser, actual biological mother. She is a woman.
38:23🔗
Caller
Let's go on about that. My biological mom is schizophrenic and she can't take care of me mentally.
38:31🔗
Drew
The point is, the foster mom is not the person that can't take care of you. It's the person who actually does care.
38:47🔗
Adam
Just get, listen, fly straight, get out of high school, and then go sick and do whatever you want.
38:57🔗
Adam
Get your grades, get out. You know what I'm saying? You're 15. Come on, brother. Don't get in all this crap. You're going to get tossed out. You're going to end up on the streets. You're going to end up in Juve. It's a mess. Don't get into it. You're at a crossroads now. Stop acting out. Can you stop it? Just slow down. Just go to school. Get into soccer or something. Try to get a scholarship and just go off the college somewhere. Just get your grades up and go do something. You know, here's the deal. Most people, all you people, all we ever talk about is achievement. Like what do you do? Oh man, this guy is 110 percent. We never talk about effing up your life. We only focus on those who achieve and then we focus on those who are sort of don't seem to do anything. What about the people that put as much effort into effing up as the guy who always gives 110 percent?
39:51🔗
Adam
You know, it's all we do. It's like, well, I'll tell you, this kid's not the size, not the vertical leap you want, but I'll tell you, he's a leader out there in that basketball court. He always gives 110 percent. He got most inspirational last year. Yeah, for every one of those, there's 150 guys that are putting just as much energy into destroying their life because of what their horrible uncle did to them or what their family did to them. We need to just stop them. These people, if they could just not intentionally F up their life, we'd be living in a utopia inside of five years. Right?
40:36🔗
Your call will be answered in the order it seems interesting.
41:11🔗
It's Loveline.
41:23🔗
Adam
I was working on a new TV show, and they're working on some building up the street. It is, it's 800 yards from where I'm standing, and they got this skip loader thing. It's a construction site, so every time I'm interviewing, I'm doing an interview, skip loader's backing up.
41:43🔗
Meep, meep, meep, meep.
41:46🔗
Adam
And you know my thing with that. First off, if a couple of stupid 9-year-olds get backed over every year, I'm fine with it in order to save the rest of the country. Every morning, every garbage truck, everything. But here's the thing. The reverse buzzer. How many nautical miles does the range need to be on that? How can you back over someone who's in a bedroom 100 miles away?
42:14🔗
Adam
I'm in my bed at 6.45 in the goddamn morning. I'm on the second floor. The garbage truck I can barely see is around the corner and down.
42:25🔗
Me, me, me.
42:29🔗
Adam
Shall I get out of the way? Shall I move? You know what I mean? How many people do we need to warn? At this point, I would like to be run over in bed just to say somehow this has some positive effect in my life. How many, let me ask you guys something. How many meep, meep, meeps coming out of the back of anything? Garbage truck. Have you heard versus the amount of ones you've heard we've actually went, oh, I better hustle up and get out of the way.
43:08🔗
Adam
Right, you know what it's right up there with? Traffic reports. 400 billion traffic reports of what's going on over at the DeVore Pass and one time you've actually used it and you got off the 405 in Sepulveda, it was still backed up. Here's all I'm saying. There's that. So it's a constant like meep, meep. How many of those by the way, you live in Los Angeles, how many meep, meep? How many of those do you think are here a week? I think you tune it out, Drew. I don't tune it out. Every morning, there's something backing up, some municipal truck backing. So they're on pickup trucks and like ice cream trucks now and everything. Pallet jacks, pallet jacks, even hand ones. They force the Mexican guy when he's actually pulling it back.
43:50🔗
Meep, meep.
43:52🔗
Adam
No, he has to verbally do it when he's dragging the pallet, dragging a trash can up. It's pervasive. It's everywhere. And we're trying to know. OK, so I started thinking about this. Yeah. And then, of course, there's always the aspirin container. That's the thing you have to wrestle. Line up the arrows, pop the thing, pop the thing off. Then there's the rental car where you're riding in the back seat and the rear window only rolls down like four inches. It won't go down. You can't hang your arm out. When you get some air, you got to stuff your face out like a retarded dog. And then the stickers everywhere, the big yellow stickers on all the visors, the nice cars. Drew, you have an $80,000 car. There's a $10 sticker. No, two cents stickers. Same one that's on the Azuzu iMark, by the way. Same one that's on a $12,000 car, big and yellow, stuck to your beautiful upholstery, warning you about an airbag. Here's the thing.
44:49🔗
Adam
Do you understand? Do we have to gear the entire... Do you understand that our entire society is now geared towards six-year-olds? That I spend my day wrestling with jars, trying to light cigarette lighters that won't light because they have safety bands on them, hearing the meep, meep, meep. Not only... I'm not a six-year-old, number one. I don't have a six-year-old. But no, everything is geared... And not only is it geared towards six-year-olds, it's geared to unsupervised six-year-olds. It's geared towards six-year-olds who have learning disabilities because their parents were meth heads. Look, even a six-year-old knows to move when a skip loader is backing up, Drew. Does it not?
45:51🔗
Drew
Why don't we create forces that make parents to do their job rather than try to teach kids to stay out of the way of the world? Hey, but listen, for those of you that call tonight, we're kind of racing.
46:02🔗
Adam
Drew, you try to do something. Here's what my life's like when we're trying to do something.
46:07🔗
Drew
At first 10 calls today, as I mentioned, we'll get an iTunes gift card valued at $99. Those of you 18 years and older will keep taking calls after the break.
46:16🔗
Adam
Can we get our society back? Imagine the utopia in the 50s where you're just holding the beer. It's made of glass, the bottles. You're at the ballgame. You got a glass beer. Imagine, Drew, close your eyes and imagine a window in the rear of a car rolling all the way down. Or a cigarette lighter that actually lit without you having to reset it. Or an aspirin container that you could just actually flip the cap open on. Wow. Wow.
46:49🔗
Adam
I had a good back then, boy. All right. It's just it's everywhere. It's all that. What are we going to do?
48:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, oh, let me tell you, that caught on. That's bigger than the wheeze. Yeah, it's huge, Drew.
48:23🔗
Adam
Awesome, guys. Oh, what an experience. Close my eyes and I just go back to that place from the Gorillaz around the show. Mariah?
48:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah, that's where I go. When I'm having a tough day or stressful day, that's what I do. Go ahead, Mariah, 23.
48:40🔗
Caller
Yes, I'm an escort and I have been for about four years now and I've been with my boyfriend for about four years and we're thinking about getting engaged and we're... We know we don't want to be with anybody else.
48:57🔗
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know if I should tell... He doesn't know what I do. Like, he doesn't know the full extent. He just thinks I like do massage. Like that.
49:11🔗
Adam
You know, it's funny that he should have got suspicious when you're like... When one day he was like, honey, how about you give me a massage? She's like, OK, she start blowing him.
49:22🔗
Adam
That'd be a hundred forty five. What? No tip? Mariam, now, explain how the Escort business works for you.
49:31🔗
Caller
For me, OK. Well, I do most of my stuff online or on the Internet. And that's how my clients find me. And there's like a review based type thing.
49:54🔗
Drew
OK, he they Nicole put that all up on the Internet for he would this that disc jockey was showing. And it's a whole elaborate set of reviews and guys writing in.
50:04🔗
Adam
Well, it's interesting because, you know, you don't want to get you don't want to get a lemon. All right.
50:38🔗
Caller
Yeah, he'll call and we'll talk for a while or I'll ask him for references from another provider in my area.
50:47🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right. And and all right. And then do you meet and when do you meet? How do you do that?
51:25🔗
Drew
So who do you think? Let's paint the picture for you and I of this guy. Who is the guy? Not the client, the boyfriend. He's one of two guys in my mind. Go ahead. He's either the super nice, nebushy, easily manipulated, ultra nice guy or a total sociopath. He's got to be one of the others.
51:41🔗
Caller
Yeah, he's a sociopath. He's really nice. He is extremely nice and he doesn't ask questions about what I do.
51:48🔗
Drew
He either has to be completely, completely gullible or completely on board with all this and not really caring.
52:01🔗
Adam
All right. Now, I'm still interested in how this works. So the guy comes over and your boyfriend's at work and you and your boyfriend don't live together.
52:15🔗
Caller
I have my own separate room that I work out of that he doesn't go in. He doesn't even know how to turn on the computer. If he turned on the computer and read all of my e-mails and things like that, he would definitely find out in two seconds.
52:34🔗
Adam
Well, it's a separate room. They come in and they come to your house. How does it work? They knock on the door, you let them in.
52:46🔗
Caller
Yeah. They knock on the door. I answer the door and something sexy, but they would put an envelope on the table or the counter. I don't like counted or anything.
53:06🔗
Caller
Yeah. I guess that's how it works, but I don't even touch the money until they're gone or anything.
53:21🔗
Adam
There's weird money changing hand things about sex, which is awesome. You got the chick, she's on stage, you're like, here's five bucks. She's like, no, no, no, we can't. Law prevents. Go ahead and stuff it in the coos. Stuff it in the coos. Yeah, no, I can't handle it. Yeah, don't pull the G string out of my ass. Yeah, shove it up there. Fantastic. You understand there's rules.
53:42🔗
Adam
You can't handle. I cannot hand you the money. That's prostitution. Me rolling it up like in stuffing it in you like it's a fortune cookie. No problem there. Yeah. Do you see about the stupid laws the government makes?
53:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there'll be no gambling, just Indian casinos and the lotto. All right. So anyway, they put the money down. How much money?
54:10🔗
Drew
How much money? How long you know you're going to have to spend with the guy if you haven't seen the money? You know what I mean?
54:16🔗
Caller
Well, they'll tell me ahead of time, of course. They'll tell me so I know to schedule around them or. Yeah, it's true.
54:24🔗
Adam
Yeah, you got to do it and you got to do it. Like I was telling, hold on a second. I'm interested in this. You can't have guys crossing paths in the entry hall. I was explaining to people about the shrink. Shrink, you pay for an hour, you get 50 minutes. Why? Because the last thing you want to do is have you walking out, crying with a boner and staring eye to eye with the next sap who's in there.
54:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, crying with a boner. The point is, is there certain places where you don't really just want to have that square up thing, you know?
54:59🔗
Adam
Don't worry about the dentist office, but the shrink's a little weird, and the entry hall of Mariah's place is really weird. One dude walking out, sweaty, putting his tie back on. Oh, who's next? Here you go. Warm drop for you.
55:21🔗
Caller
I won't see more than three people a day, and if I travel, I'll see maybe four. But at my house, I won't see more than three people a day, and I would say about 10 a week.
55:51🔗
Adam
Oh yeah. See, I'd do it and just either pay. Well, some guys, you get more. Yeah, Drew would probably get extra 50.
56:00🔗
Caller
No, it's like some girls that advertise, oh, I only do French sessions only. I don't know if you guys know what that is.
56:25🔗
Adam
And and I know I didn't. I didn't. She wants to think she's uptight. And then condoms religiously.
56:31🔗
Caller
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's that's the hard part for me is trying to hide the condoms from the boyfriend. Can be my boyfriend. We don't use condoms. So like every time a guy's done, I'm like, OK, make sure you flush. And I always take the wrapper and make sure I throw it in the garbage outside.
56:45🔗
Adam
So now let's let's let's put our soul, let's 20, 2500 bucks a week at least and no no taxes.
57:22🔗
Caller
Well, it's an erotic massage. That's what I told him when I first met him. I told him, you know, all right.
57:27🔗
Adam
So he knows what's going on. So your boyfriend, your boyfriend knows there's guys coming to your home while he's at work and that you're doing any sex with them now. OK, but here's my point.
57:43🔗
Adam
I got to talk to the same person. Here's the thing, Drew. A normal guy, it doesn't. OK, let me say it. Normal guy does not want guys coming to his home, period, getting down into a town, having his wife work on it, even if she's a work exclusively on sports injuries.
58:13🔗
Adam
Not even close. And then you doing it in a tight blouse would be out of the question. You're doing it in the nude is the nude. It's like, what is no different for sane guys than prostitution and prostitution. You see, there's no line. It's like it's like sane people. It's like there's no difference between killing one person and killing a thousand people. Well, it's murder. I would never do it.
58:38🔗
Adam
You know, what she's saying is, is, well, he doesn't mind killing one person. Just he's not a serial killer. But sane people would never go for that.
59:04🔗
Adam
Thank you. Mariah, Mariah, yes, your mess, obviously, he is a mess as well. And it's bad when two messes get married.
59:18🔗
Adam
So I would I would try to dissuade you from marrying this chap. Him knowing that you disrobe and work on exclusive exclusively on male clients is is bizarre, to say the least. And there's something wrong with him. Now, obviously, you doing what you do for a living, there's something wrong with you as well.
59:42🔗
Adam
Right. So maybe this works for you guys and maybe it works at this level. It's all in who cares, you know. It's fine for the relationship, but you start getting married, you start bringing kids into the mix and it's a disaster.
1:00:18🔗
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've only had two boyfriends and they're exactly the opposite. The one was really possessive and he had to know where I went, you know, every time I went, what time I'm going to be home.
1:00:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, he lets you do whatever he wants, just like I let Drew's wife do whatever she wants. I don't care. You know what I mean? Like people mistake that with, you know, it's like parenting, my dad's cool, lets me sleep over, lets me do whatever, he bought me beer, he's cool. No, he doesn't care.
1:00:54🔗
Adam
This is, I don't care. This isn't, I'm cool. Oh, I'm really secure. And I'm so secure, I'm just gonna go do data entry while some John who blows in from out of town is on top of my old lady.
1:01:05🔗
Drew
I think it'd be interesting getting somebody like her on a show. You've talked about getting interesting kind of people on the show.
1:01:24🔗
Adam
And what are your customers, what are they into? I mean, straight sex, oral, what do they go for?
1:01:31🔗
Caller
Most of them are just really just straight sex. And they just want to, you know, we sit there and talk for like a half an hour beforehand and then we...
1:01:47🔗
Adam
Yeah, you can't get company from your wife. That's all you get. You wish they'd clear out. Please, could you ride in the back seat of the car? Yeah, what?
1:01:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, all right. And condoms, any positions you won't do? And what about oral? Can you get oral and intercourse?
1:02:09🔗
Caller
Yeah, oral and intercourse. I don't do what's called Greek, which is anal sex, just because I don't like it anyway. I like to have fun. I have a lot of fun with my clients, so...
1:02:18🔗
Adam
Do you... Sure. Do you guys... Do you have any of your clients? Do you have regulars that you see every week?
1:02:34🔗
Caller
There's one, which... He lives, like, three hours away, so I only see him once a month, and, you know, he's younger, and we have really awesome sex. And that's, you know, like, if he was closer, I'd probably see him every day, you know, maybe even off the clock. I don't know. But I've never, like, I've never had sex with anybody else without me.
1:02:57🔗
Adam
Or maybe you do that thing where, you know, you punch his card, you know, he asks you ten times, he gets the eleventh free. Yeah. Like a subway.
1:03:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. All right. I can see it. Now, what about a guy who pulls in there that's just physically repulsive to you, reminds you of the stepdad that used to molest you?
1:03:18🔗
Caller
You just close your eyes. Well, I mean, like, I think Asians, cause I was molested by one of my own boyfriend and he was Asian. So I won't see an Asian at all. Like.
1:03:31🔗
Adam
Meanwhile, I'd be giving them a break. Small Pepe, no hair on their body. That's a break. That'd be my thing. No, you know, you said, you mentioned the car wash. You know, it's like cars, 750 vans, 10 bucks Asians. You know what I mean? You give me the big hairy Middle Eastern guy. That's a van. You know what I mean? I got to get a little extra. Asian. That's a little, that's a little Mini Cooper blowing through there.
1:04:09🔗
Adam
You've sat in the, you've taken a Schmitz with some guys that had that, you know, that Russian hairy back, you know, guys look like bears, you know, with stretch marks and stuff. They see a nice streamlined Asian guy.
1:04:26🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, you got to charge more for the vans. That's all I'm saying. Mariah. Yes. Let me tell you, you better get over this Asian phobia.
1:04:38🔗
Adam
Yeah. And by the way, it is awakening and it's like you. You know what I mean? This is one facet of life. You do not want to send the Asians packing from this. This could be a lot of clientele for you. It's like you owning a camera store and saying no Asians. You know what I mean? You're cutting a lot of your business back, baby.
1:04:59🔗
Adam
All right. And these guys are fast. They're they're environmentally low impact. They are not big conversationalist or in and out.
1:05:09🔗
Adam
All right. I'm just saying you you know, if I was a prostitute, be welcome Asians right on top of the thing. You know, they'd come in, they'd hear that guitar bing, bing, bing, bing. You know, I mean, I would start incense burning. I would start, you know, that's a direction I would go because they don't want to make a lot of small talk.
1:05:37🔗
Adam
Take your shoes off. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I'm in kabuki makeup, hair up in a bun, chopsticks holding up. Now, Drew, seriously, am I right or am I right? You're right.
1:05:54🔗
Adam
Well, she was molested by her mom's Asian boyfriend, Mariah. Yes. Did he ever get in any trouble?
1:06:06🔗
Wow.
1:06:21🔗
Adam
Yeah. It makes you, you got a little, you got a little, you got the vagina of a serial killer. You don't know. You don't care. It's nothing there. Yeah. That's tough. How do you get people to care, Drew, when they grow up sort of doesn't get...
1:06:36🔗
Drew
You have to sort of reach back and move forward again. And in an intimate relationship, meaning therapy.
1:06:42🔗
Adam
Mariah, don't get married, don't have kids, save that money for therapy. And give the Asians a second look, would you?
1:06:51🔗
Adam
And do me a favor, what, which, where was your mom's boyfriend from? What country was he from?
1:07:02🔗
Do you know what I mean?
1:07:14🔗
Adam
Japanese guy, blows an organ, looking for a good time. He has to be punished for the sins of the Vietnamese guy for many years ago. Do you know what I mean?
1:07:29🔗
Drew
I just get so overwhelmed with talking to Mariahs of the World because I get them in the hospital in these contained environments and all their pathologists spills out and the depths of the pain and the chaos and oh my goodness. Hey, but listen.
1:07:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, no. Hey, you can't judge and it takes all kinds. Yeah. And I believe that everything happens for a reason. Mia?
1:07:53🔗
Yeah. Hey, what's up?
1:07:58🔗
Caller
Good. I love you, Adam, and I love you, Dr. Drew. Adam, if I had to be stuck in the desert island, it would be with you.
1:08:04🔗
Caller
Dr. Drew, I learned so much from you and I want to be a doctor just like you and I've learned so much from you over the years. I want to say thank you for that.
1:08:28🔗
Caller
I have a little bit of a weird problem. I can suck up air through my vagina and blow it out.
1:08:38🔗
Drew
Well, there's that. Then we had a friend that, not a friend, but Jim Rowe, is that his name? The guy that had the sideshow. Oh, Jim.
1:08:49🔗
Drew
And he had a wife that had this, could do this. And actually would suck in lighter fluid. Really? And light it and spit it out from that working end.
1:09:05🔗
Yeah.
1:09:24🔗
Drew
Remember, you and I one time we had women that could spontaneously make a noise by doing that.
1:09:39🔗
Caller
My little sister can do it, but my mom can't, so I don't know if it's genetic or whatever.
1:09:48🔗
Adam
That's a spectacular conversation. I don't even know that my dad has a penis. That's how little we speak about these things. Hey, Mia.
1:09:56🔗
Yeah.
1:10:45🔗
Adam
It was good. It wasn't what we're used to. We're used to the sort of whoopee vagina and the sort of inhale.
1:10:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, but interesting. All right. Now, you know what you ought to do is add a little bubble mix to what you're bringing in. I bet you could blow a bubble.
1:11:08🔗
Adam
Or Mrs. Doesn't matter. Could you blow? You think you could blow a bubble out of your vagina?
1:11:25🔗
Adam
I would like to see that. Thank you. Please, Drew. Why do you have to crap upon my dreams?
1:11:34🔗
Drew
Hey, first 10 calls. I believe we're right about there now. That have been on the air tonight. Those of you that have been over 18 and got through win an iTunes gift card valued at $99. And for Mia, with her special talent, I think Adam is going to throw in a special gift.
1:11:48🔗
Mm-hmm.
1:11:59🔗
Love Line with Adam Klobler and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.
1:12:28🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Nets, Dr. Drooff. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Time to play a little Germany or Florida. Yeah.
1:12:38🔗
Germany of Florida.
1:12:52🔗
There we go.
1:12:55🔗
We. We.
1:12:56🔗
Adam
Well, we meaning true because I don't do emails. But angry emails from Dag if we don't use this thing. Crit. Is this person's name Crit?
1:13:08🔗
Yes.
1:13:09🔗
You're 20?
1:13:10🔗
How you guys doing?
1:13:29🔗
Drew
Vermont and Burlington. Next week. Oh, really? Yeah. And I went to college in Massachusetts. Oh.
1:13:39🔗
Caller
All right. Germany or Florida, three men dubbed the Grandpa Gang because of their advanced ages were convicted of robbing 14 banks of more than 1.2 million dollars. The men occasionally used guns dating back to World War II. They range in age from 64 to 74. Then near the quote from one of the guys, it's unbelievable how easy it is to rob a bank once you've done it a couple of times, he said during his trial, adding that fear of having no money and spending the rest of his years in a nursing home drove him to commit the crimes.
1:14:13🔗
Drew
Because there's many twists and turns that lead you in either direction. Now World War II, vintage guns. Sounds a little germy to me. Florida?
1:14:39🔗
Drew
That's precision activity. I mean, precision execution. I've been doing it my whole life. That you can still do when you're seven.
1:14:45🔗
Adam
I have this fantasy that if you rob banks in Germany and you're old, you would get caught in the first two banks. They wouldn't make it to 14. I somehow think there's more efficiency there. Smaller, more cameras. Do you know what I mean?
1:15:16🔗
Drew
Oh, well done. Excellent. That's one of my favorite Germany or Florida in the recent months.
1:15:30🔗
Adam
Well, I say good. My seconds will call on you and say good day. Good day. I said good day. I just like we have we've we've gone from that that's the biggest insult that you could have said 200 years ago.
1:15:47🔗
Adam
Now it's something about your mom's private parts. You know what I mean? And what you did to them and stuff like that. But you know, 200 years ago, that that was the biggest thing. Look, if you said to someone, I said good day, you would have to duel.
1:16:12🔗
Drew
You know, that kind of I said good day stuff went on in this country. You know, who is a Andrew Jackson was a big proponent of that stuff.
1:16:20🔗
Drew
Oh, he was dueling until he hit the White House. He had all kinds of crazy stuff he did. Andrew Jackson.
1:16:26🔗
Drew
Oh, my God. And it's always not always, but frequently over things men were saying about women. Oh, yeah. How dare you? I said, my line, my line, the wife of a southern gentleman.
1:16:42🔗
Adam
Yeah. I like that. Do you know out of the 43 presidents we've had, only three of them haven't had pets.
1:16:58🔗
Drew
Raccoon and white house. Who are the three, by the way, didn't have one? It's got to be Calvin Coolidge.
1:17:21🔗
Caller
Okay, so I have a problem that comes from an old soccer injury from a few years ago. I took a knee to the pelvic bone, which caused a large blood clot, and I thank the Lord, I was not a man.
1:17:51🔗
Caller
No, it was right on the front, like directly above the labia, but as it healed all that blood, since there's no muscle to absorb it, it just floated down.
1:18:02🔗
Adam
Hey, um, looks like you have like a black eye. Should girls who play soccer wear a cup?
1:18:11🔗
Why not?
1:18:14🔗
Adam
Well, they wouldn't. They wouldn't at the pee-wee level. They would be forced to wear a cup. You know?
1:18:25🔗
Adam
I know, but you know, we hear about it a lot with the kicking and the ball and the knees and stuff.
1:18:35🔗
Caller
Okay, so after having that injury a couple years ago, I was having sex the other night and it swelled up again.
1:18:43🔗
Drew
Yeah, but that's because you went for too long and irritated the labia. That probably has nothing to do with the old injury.
1:18:56🔗
Drew
Yeah, if you go too long, cause irritation, you know, you go more than ten minutes or so, women get swelling.
1:19:14🔗
Caller
Well, there was a lot of alcohol involved that night, but I mean, no, we don't do, we've only been seeing each other a few months, so it's not that extreme between us.
1:19:20🔗
Drew
All right, but let me just be clear. It's probably almost certainly not related to your original injury. It's just something that happens when you are over vigorous.
1:19:28🔗
Adam
You said you've only seen each, been seeing each other for a few months, so it's not really, they're not really, that's when you do your, that's when I do most of my damage.
1:19:45🔗
Drew
I can't believe you that that position, the standing position is something like, Well, I know that position. Imaginate, it's imaginative. It's missionary.
1:19:57🔗
Caller
Well, is there any way that, I just have to wait for it to heal? Is there any way to keep it from coming back? I mean, I'm not.
1:20:34🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's just a bunch of women that still play soccer and we're pretty competitive still.
1:20:55🔗
Drew
Yeah, but a hibatoma above the pubic bone has nothing to do with swelling and irritation of the baby itself.
1:21:11🔗
Hello.
1:21:22🔗
Caller
Hey, about what? Well, last week, I was with my girl and she pinched me off and I bled fairly decently afterwards when I went to the bathroom.
1:21:53🔗
Drew
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The pinching is meant to either stop the ejaculation or and the retrograde you have to push underneath the test behind the testicles, basically, to get the retrograde.
1:22:10🔗
Caller
Well, that's basically what we were doing, but what's the bleeding cause afterwards?
1:22:14🔗
Drew
Oh, who knows? I mean, you could have torn something. I mean, there are things that can happen. You're building up a big pressure of fluid that's supposed to come out.
1:22:55🔗
Adam
Listen, I really, I drew, as you know, for many years, I thought I was just a traveler from the future.
1:23:11🔗
Adam
I think I'm not only traveled from the future to come back, not to warn of anything, but to be driven nuts. I now think I'm from another planet.
1:23:22🔗
Adam
There's nothing makes, all I do, I walk around all day going what? What? Why? What are you doing? I don't understand. I, why would somebody, that's my entire life. See, if this was a movie, I would be a traveler from the future to come back to warn.
1:23:38🔗
Adam
To proselytize, you know, to explain to people about what, you know, what you're doing to the rainforest or tsunamis or upcoming dangers. As it is, I know nothing. All I know is I'm going nuts.
1:23:52🔗
Adam
It came from the future. He drove nuts and he killed himself and never went back. Fantastic.
1:23:58🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Well, when the heated sofa and the attack crows come to fruition. Remember, remember, do you think somebody who was born in this time, you were there to see it, you went ahead into the future and saw it. You look at my head, but when I went through the porthole, which had to come through nude, by the way, I could, cause you know, you could flash, you can't, you can't get, you can't get them through portholes. It just doesn't work. I mean, come on, do the math. The point is, is my mind was erased when I came through the porthole. Okay?
1:25:42🔗
Drew
I'm a curlier. I've occasionally heard one that, oh, oh, catch my attention. I got it.
1:25:45🔗
Adam
All right. Yeah, but that's maybe like, you maybe you're to like a Home Depot and the guy's backing a fork like that.
1:25:51🔗
Drew
It's literally someplace like where there's a hedge or something in there. You can't see the truck and it lets you know it's there.
1:26:00🔗
Drew
At midnight, when this show ends, I want you all to help me out by tuning in on Discovery Health Channel.
1:26:56🔗
Caller
Okay. So, we used to, like, I used to think it was a game where I would be in the room and he would, like, steal me from the room and take me to his room and, um, do whatever he did. And, uh, I, I don't know, I didn't realize it until recently that that's kind of like, like, I've wanted to do that with my boyfriend, so.
1:27:24🔗
Drew
It's a crazy thing about trauma is that, uh, humans, when they've been traumatized, somehow want to re-create that in their present relationships. Either overtly and consciously or inadvertently and unconsciously. And, uh, in your case, you clearly have a desire to re-create it, and precisely as it was back then.
1:27:51🔗
Drew
No, I understand. It's just you get wired up that way. I mean, no one knows why humans do that. I-I really wonder what the evolutionary advantage of all that was.
1:27:57🔗
Adam
Well, all I know is I believe everything happens for a reason. Maria, so, uh, your brother molesting you when you were eight years old, you know... For me, you know, I believe everything happens for a reason. You know?
1:28:14🔗
Adam
Oh, well, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. You know? You know, Drew?
1:28:21🔗
Adam
I always say that. That's what I believe. So, uh, Maria, have you gotten some therapy?
1:28:29🔗
Adam
How much? Oh, boy, life's gonna be tough. What are you doing right now? I mean, not this second, but are you working?
1:29:12🔗
Adam
Hold on, Drew. I am tumbling. It's like falling into that hat at the beginning of Lidsville. I don't know where I am. You know what I'm saying? It does work with the molestation part, but the bioengineer part, that's tough. Yeah. All right. Uh, you need to get yourself some therapy because of what happened to you. You're a smart person, but it doesn't matter how smart you are, you can't get over these kinds of traumas without a little therapy. Can you get a little therapy, Maria?
1:29:44🔗
Drew
Um, and, and, and by the way, uh, if you feel the need to reenact these things, these games, that's fine, but be prepared that it's going to evoke all kinds of, uh, unexpected feelings. Maybe be good, maybe we'll get you a real good look.
1:29:57🔗
Caller
Well, I don't really want to. I've just somehow, I don't know, I've always, like, thought about it and-
1:30:36🔗
Adam
All right. Sounds like a delight. Uh, get some therapy. And don't act this out. I, I, I don't think you should act out, because I think it's going to bring up shame. And then you'll get into one of those shame spirals.
1:30:50🔗
Adam
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, it's, it's, uh, don't pick the scab off this in the bedroom, do it in the therapist's office. Yes? All right. Where are we, Drew? Who do you want to talk to? Bloody stool.
1:31:03🔗
Adam
Several narcotics. Once you sue a condom company because it broke, you can't sue a condom company, can you?
1:31:11🔗
Drew
But that's like suing a, I mean, you, what are you gonna do? These things are not perfect. They're not built as perfect.
1:32:05🔗
Caller
I'm not on birth control. I'm sexually active, but I am taking Soma Norco Ambien and I'm also on Lexapro. And he basically said those are pretty much gonna keep you from getting pregnant, so don't worry about it.
1:32:18🔗
Drew
They will not keep you from getting pregnant. You can't get pregnant when you're on those medicines.
1:32:38🔗
Caller
No, no, no. He was saying kind of, don't worry about it. You're not gonna get pregnant because you're on...
1:32:46🔗
Drew
Correct. You've got to take some means of birth control when you're on those pills. That's bad advice.
1:32:57🔗
Drew
I'm just saying, whether it's condoms or something, you've got to do something because the pills you're on are not good for pregnancy.
1:33:09🔗
Adam
Okay. Take a quick break. Be right back. Well, that's the show, y'all. Thanks for tuning in. Indeed. Plenty of show for you to plan tomorrow night. The opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.