Thursday, June 16, 2005

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:01🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:04🔗 Voiceover Sexually-oriented content.

1:07🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:08🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. This is Loveline.

1:17🔗 Voiceover With Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:20🔗 Adam Hey, everybody. It's Loveline.

1:22🔗 Adam I'm Adam.

1:22🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew. Phone number when? 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

1:27🔗 Drew You're out? What's the matter?

1:29🔗 Adam I'm angry. When?

1:30🔗 Adam I'm angry. I'm just arguing with suits. Just idiots.

1:33🔗 Adam Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

1:35🔗 Adam No, this is Comedy Central idiots have to argue with. I'm just such an asshole of everybody.

1:41🔗 Drew Just, dude, I feel your pain.

1:42🔗 Adam I'm so sorry.

1:44🔗 Adam Here's what people don't understand about me, Dr. Drew. Please.

1:46🔗 Drew You're a genius.

1:47🔗 Adam Well, yeah. No.

1:49🔗 Drew You're fair. No.

1:50🔗 Adam I'm ready to go home. I'm dying to go home. Here's what I have to shout at every goddamn suit in the city. Please let me go home. Please say one more thing and let me just go home.

1:59🔗 Adam I just want to go home. Yeah.

2:00🔗 Adam I want to quit. I'll walk away from anything at any time. I'm just ready to go home.

2:04🔗 Drew Yes.

2:04🔗 Adam I love my TiVo. I love my dog.

2:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:10🔗 Adam You know, me and the wife have good days, too.

2:13🔗 Drew Really? You finally?

2:14🔗 Adam I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go home at anything. I just keep going, everybody. Watch how fast I go home. I know I can't take it anymore.

2:21🔗 Drew Let's refine this a little more. Adam hates to work.

2:24🔗 Adam Yes.

2:25🔗 Drew And so whenever somebody arranges for him to lose a job, he's immensely grateful.

2:32🔗 Adam Immensely grateful. Immensely grateful. And if you hassle me too much, I'm leaving. That's my whole thing. I'm ready to go. Yes. Yes. It's my ultimate Trump card.

2:43🔗 Drew And unfortunately, no one believes that.

2:45🔗 Adam They don't believe it, but Drew, please back me up. Tell me, tell everyone how excited I am when stuff gets canceled or goes away.

2:52🔗 Drew Anything.

2:52🔗 Adam Anything.

2:53🔗 Drew Anything.

2:54🔗 Adam Anything.

2:55🔗 Drew The Adam does not get excited about, well, I correct me. He gets excited about like driving in the Toyota Grand Prix. If that got canceled, he'd be devastated.

3:03🔗 Adam That's right.

3:04🔗 Drew But if he were...

3:04🔗 Adam Even that's something though.

3:06🔗 Drew Yeah, he'd rather sit at home and masturbate. But if, but if he were to be on, what's it? What's a, and I just, a great opportunity of something you'd really like to do.

3:18🔗 Adam Host the Oscars.

3:19🔗 Drew Host the Oscars.

3:20🔗 Adam Yes.

3:21🔗 Drew Oh my God, would he be happy if they canceled that? Oh my God.

3:24🔗 It'd be awesome. Are you telling me?

3:26🔗 Adam Yeah. Awesome.

3:27🔗 Drew Oh, and not in the facetious way, genuinely excited about not doing this thing. There'll be such a joke.

3:34🔗 Adam How excited would I be if I got to not do that crappy Comedy Central show I'm supposed to do?

3:40🔗 Drew I'm very excited.

3:42🔗 Adam Elated, elated idiots. All right, go ahead, Jill. What's up? All right, while she's mumbling, let me just say, here's what it is, I came up with a good name for my Comedy Central show and the big boss man doesn't like it and he's pissing me off. Just pissed off.

4:01🔗 Drew I remember when you and I wrote a book, we were gonna call it, listen, Adam is from Mars, Drew is from Pasadena, which I thought was the greatest name in a book ever and we were told by everybody, oh no, no, that's retarded, what are you doing? What are you doing?

4:14🔗 Adam I know.

4:15🔗 Drew Would have been the greatest thing ever.

4:16🔗 Adam This is even worse, everyone likes this idea except for the head honcho. So here's my thing, you come up with a name, I don't even wanna know what it is anymore, who cares? You know what I mean? This is what everyone needs to do, like you don't like it, good, come up with a name and don't bother me anymore. Start printing up stationary, idiots. What's the matter?

4:36🔗 Drew Jill.

4:36🔗 Adam Jill.

4:37🔗 Yes.

4:38🔗 Adam 29, what's up?

4:38🔗 Drew Who were you talking to there?

4:40🔗 Adam Yeah, who were you talking to?

4:42🔗 Drew Yeah, you were mudding away to somebody.

4:44🔗 I was talking to my friend, my coworker. I didn't realize that you were listening to me.

4:49🔗 Adam Where are you working?

4:50🔗 I work at a laboratory.

4:52🔗 Drew For what, what kind of lab?

4:54🔗 It's a...

4:57🔗 Drew Are we doing microbiology?

4:58🔗 Yes, microbiology.

5:00🔗 Adam Is her friend telling you what lab you work at?

5:03🔗 Drew Because the friend is actually the lab tech. She's like the gopher.

5:06🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah, you're just cleaning beakers with a bottle brush?

5:10🔗 No, I'm a med tech, actually.

5:12🔗 Drew Med tech.

5:12🔗 I stir poo and I test for STDs.

5:16🔗 Drew You store poo?

5:17🔗 Adam Stir, stir poo. Stir poo.

5:19🔗 I test poo and...

5:20🔗 Adam Big caldron. Yeah. All right.

5:23🔗 Drew My poo got on eBay or something. You hear about that?

5:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

5:26🔗 Drew Yeah. I gave a sample and somebody released it.

5:30🔗 Adam Well, I think Anderson checked into that and found out it may have been bogus or something.

5:35🔗 If I saw your sample, I would probably keep it.

5:37🔗 See?

5:38🔗 Drew See?

5:38🔗 Adam Sure. Sure.

5:39🔗 Drew I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

5:41🔗 Adam No, I wouldn't keep it.

5:42🔗 I actually probably would sell it on eBay.

5:44🔗 Adam I used some of Drew's fecal matter, right? Helter Skelter on my rumpus room wall. No biggie. Gets a laugh.

5:52🔗 Drew What's here and there?

5:53🔗 Adam It's an insider.

5:54🔗 Drew Well, you've beacryliced over it so you don't smell it. Yeah. Yeah.

5:57🔗 Adam But I scotch-guarded it.

5:59🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

5:59🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, Gio, what's up?

6:02🔗 Well, I'm married and I have four kids.

6:04🔗 Adam Wow.

6:05🔗 My husband cheated on me when we first got married for like the first two years.

6:09🔗 Adam Wow.

6:09🔗 Adam Two years.

6:10🔗 Drew And four kids.

6:11🔗 Adam Yeesh.

6:12🔗 And for some reason, I stayed. I don't know why.

6:14🔗 Drew Yeah. Because your dad was a flandering a-hole too.

6:17🔗 No, I love my daddy. My mom was a psycho. And she actually killed herself the very last time he cheated on me. And it was just too much for me. So I couldn't deal with it at all.

6:26🔗 Drew Hold on again. Hold on again.

6:28🔗 Adam Your mom killed herself?

6:29🔗 Yes. When? Four years ago.

6:33🔗 Drew In response to your boyfriend, your husband cheating?

6:36🔗 It wasn't related, but it just happened to be about the same time that I found out that he had cheated on me. Wow.

6:41🔗 Adam That's a good weekend.

6:42🔗 And I should have left, but it was just too much for me to deal with, so I didn't.

6:46🔗 Drew I see. I see. Got it. Got the connection.

6:48🔗 Buried it all inside and yeah, forgot about it.

6:50🔗 Adam Well, now you take it out on strangers' fecal matter.

6:53🔗 Exactly.

6:55🔗 Adam Same thing, though.

6:55🔗 Adam Same thing with me.

6:57🔗 Adam And what, two year, he had a two year relationship.

7:00🔗 Well, no, he would just seek out, he would meet girls like online or through like instant messenger.

7:06🔗 Adam Oh, so he had multiple relationships.

7:10🔗 Yeah, he would tell him that he wasn't married, go meet him, try to sleep with him.

7:13🔗 Drew All right.

7:13🔗 Adam So let me talk to Drew for a second.

7:15🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a sex addict.

7:18🔗 Adam The sex addict.

7:18🔗 Drew Although he's 20, probably at the time, 24.

7:21🔗 Adam Let me ask this. Any hope. You know those people and there's a bunch of them. There's, you know, female news reporters, there's executives and television executives. There's car salesmen. Do they ever have a chance at being a human being? You know what I mean? There's publicists. Not without a lot of work. Do you know those people? You and I see them very clearly. It's like that movie, Them. We have our sunglasses on and we can tell which ones are the actual aliens. I'm playing Roddy Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper in this one. You get to be my black sidekick. Nice. My point is this. I see people that I know aren't human beings. They're flesh, they're blood, they're bone, they stand. They actually do, they make good money, they have employment and all sorts of stuff.

8:04🔗 Drew They have wives and children like this guy.

8:06🔗 Adam Yes, yes. They feel like they're filled with sawdust. Maybe horse hair on a good day. They're not human beings and they're all over the place. And they're educated and they're parents and they're teachers and they're lawyers and they're everywhere. Not human beings.

8:19🔗 Drew Agreed.

8:20🔗 Adam Those, we know the guy, these guys are usually salespeople.

8:24🔗 Drew They're very difficult to get to change.

8:26🔗 Adam You just look in their eye and you realize that no matter what it is they're saying, no matter what it is, they're telling you they're feeling, there's nothing there.

8:35🔗 Drew It's sort of, it's kind of serial killer like. Yeah, it's a little sociopath light. It's sort of narcissist light. It's like a sociopath means narcissist. It's like, my feelings don't matter, therefore your feelings don't matter either.

8:46🔗 Adam Here's my theory about these people. If you told them a hundred innocent people would die in Kuala Lumpur when a ferry flipped over although obviously you would have no way to trace it to you or you get a new Mercedes CL55 but they take it. Flip the ferry. Well, you know, I mean, the question is, is can it be traced to me if I can't?

9:08🔗 Drew Take it.

9:08🔗 Adam Flip it.

9:08🔗 Drew You know who's becoming that character on South Park is Cartman.

9:12🔗 Adam Drew, what are you talking about?

9:14🔗 Drew I thought you liked the reference.

9:16🔗 Adam I, you're watching too much South Park.

9:18🔗 Drew But he really is now they're being portrayed exactly like that.

9:21🔗 Adam Okay. My point is there's a lot of real life Cartman's walking around out there. She's married to one of them.

9:27🔗 Drew That's right.

9:27🔗 Adam What do you do? What do you do about a guy who's two years into marriage and he's just having multiple, multiple relationships?

9:33🔗 Drew This is sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, and he has to stop. If he's unable to stop, he has to lose things.

9:38🔗 Adam Can someone be made into a human being?

9:40🔗 Drew Yes. It's a lot of work.

9:42🔗 Adam But it's just a stupid, I'm not talking about like they do it in those Keanu Reeves movies where he's an uptight lawyer and then he finds a chick with cancer and the next thing you know.

9:50🔗 Drew No, nothing like that.

9:50🔗 Adam Nothing like that.

9:51🔗 Drew He needs to work and work and work for many years and get becoming somebody with feelings again.

9:56🔗 Adam Is he going to do that?

9:57🔗 Adam He's not going to do that.

9:58🔗 Adam Those people don't want to do that. That's right.

10:00🔗 Adam Jill?

10:01🔗 Yes?

10:02🔗 Adam You're married to Cartman who's filled with sawdust and horsehair.

10:06🔗 Sweet.

10:06🔗 Adam Awesome. Sweet. Here's a question. How come other people don't see that? I meet people like that my skin starts to crawl. Like I have to run out of the room screaming.

10:17🔗 You wouldn't know to look at him. You really wouldn't.

10:21🔗 Adam No, I know. I'm not looking at a picture of him. You dated him. You didn't just stare at his yearbook.

10:27🔗 Drew This is the point I'm making. Here's the deal. You are either going to hang in and have an exciting life with this guy who's not available to you, or you're going to threaten to leave and require him to make some change.

10:40🔗 He's been going to SA meetings.

10:42🔗 Drew Good.

10:44🔗 But I don't even know if that's going to help.

10:46🔗 Drew Well it will if he gets a sponsor and works the steps.

10:49🔗 Adam But Jill, you guys are a very dangerous combination because he has the mind of like a serial killing master criminal and you have the mind of SpongeBob.

10:59🔗 Drew Right.

11:00🔗 Adam And he's going to run.

11:00🔗 I have the mind of SpongeBob?

11:02🔗 Drew Well the naive quality.

11:03🔗 Adam You believe you're naive, you're easy, he's going to run right over you.

11:07🔗 Yeah.

11:07🔗 Drew You've got to go to maybe some Al-Anon or something like that or get some therapy yourself so you can stand up to this.

11:12🔗 Adam Yeah, your mom was nuts. You need therapy.

11:15🔗 Yeah, I just started seeing a therapist.

11:17🔗 Drew Good. That's probably why you're going to essay.

11:19🔗 But he seems to think that the whole essay thing is going to take years and years and I can work with them.

11:24🔗 Adam It is.

11:24🔗 I don't know if it's worth it.

11:26🔗 Drew Well, fascinating thing, Jill, this is a very interesting thing you're doing, is that when somebody, the identified person, the person with the problem starts to make a movement towards real change, that is often the time that the codependent, the person they're involved with, bails out. And that's because that's the point, you have to look at your ass as well. I would suggest, it sounds to me like a good situation.

11:47🔗 Adam Well, what's attraction?

11:49🔗 Drew I know.

11:49🔗 Adam Why were you attracted to this horrible a-hole in the first place? And now, whatever that is, he says he's going to go take care of. Now that's gone, what's left?

11:59🔗 Drew Right.

11:59🔗 Adam Just a bunch of spray-on tan and aqua-valva and vitalis.

12:05🔗 Adam Oh yeah. Yeah.

12:06🔗 Drew Vitalis is great.

12:07🔗 Adam It's a great product.

12:09🔗 Drew What the hell?

12:09🔗 Adam Mike?

12:10🔗 Yes. Really?

12:11🔗 Adam I'd like to do an endorsement for them. Mike, you're 30.

12:14🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

12:15🔗 Adam What's up?

12:17🔗 Caller Well, okay, I will make a real long story real short. Please. Ten years ago, a buddy of mine from high school came out of the closet, told everyone he was gay. I was cool with that. We had always been tight since we were little kids. Five years ago, he comes back into my life as a friend, only now he wasn't Brandon, he was Brenda. Okay, now.

12:38🔗 Adam Let me say this, and Drew brought this up before. You know, it's like Steve has to turn into Stephanie and Brian has to say, how about you went ahead and lopped your dork off, how about you just go with Sheila? Yeah. You have to pick a name that starts with the same three, first three letters.

12:54🔗 Drew Let's go Consuelo.

12:55🔗 Adam Just pick a chick name you like, not some crappy name that sounds like you're a chick version of her. Yeah.

13:02🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

13:03🔗 Adam Well, we knew him as Don. He's now Donatello.

13:06🔗 Drew Or Donnie, or Don.

13:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:07🔗 Drew Donna, Donna.

13:08🔗 Adam It's Donna. Really? As a matter of fact, I'm guessing your parents would be happier if you picked a name that was further from the one they tried to give you.

13:16🔗 Drew They could have erased the original name from all the documents.

13:18🔗 That's, well, I mean, what is it?

13:21🔗 Adam It's like, well, you knew him as Ray's, now his name is Raylene.

13:25🔗 Drew I gotta deal with Mike, because there's a problem here. Yeah?

13:28🔗 Adam This is a bigger problem. People, when they get a sex change, pick any chick name you like.

13:34🔗 Drew But the more elaborate, the better. Because after all, you're going to a lot of problems.

13:38🔗 Adam Okay, but just figure out who your favorite soap star is and take her name. It does not have to start with the same two letters.

13:46🔗 Drew There you go.

13:46🔗 Adam All right, let's see on five.

13:48🔗 Drew Hey, Mike.

13:49🔗 Caller Yes?

13:50🔗 Drew Being gay and having a sex change operation are usually not related.

13:56🔗 Caller He came out of the closet and told everyone...

13:58🔗 Drew Hey, Mike, stop repeating the story. Being gay and needing a sex change operation are not related.

14:06🔗 Caller Okay.

14:07🔗 Drew So when you thought this story up, it's out of right to you. But most male to female transsexuals actually do that to have relationships with lesbian females.

14:17🔗 Adam Uh-huh. Sorry, Mike.

14:20🔗 Well, I'm not...

14:22🔗 Drew I don't know what to tell you.

14:23🔗 Caller It's a true story.

14:24🔗 Drew It's true. All right, so keep going. Anyway, keep going.

14:27🔗 All right.

14:28🔗 Caller The problem is we've been so tight for so long now that he's a she, I'm starting to develop feelings.

14:36🔗 Adam No.

14:36🔗 Caller Romantic feelings.

14:38🔗 Adam No, you're not.

14:41🔗 Caller She's pretty good looking.

14:42🔗 Adam First off, I rarely say this. You should pray this is a bogus call. You should be begging for boguosity, Mike. I'm going to give you two choices. Bogus or bogus? Which one is it?

14:58🔗 Caller Neither.

14:59🔗 Adam All right, where do you have bottomed out?

15:01🔗 Drew Let's keep going. Where did he have the operation done?

15:04🔗 Caller Out at UCLA Medical Center.

15:06🔗 Drew Yeah, they don't do them there. So there you go.

15:10🔗 There you go, Mike. That's what they told.

15:12🔗 Caller That's what he told me.

15:15🔗 Adam Just because you talk like Seinfeld doesn't mean we're going to believe you.

15:19🔗 Drew All right, hold on. Let's just keep... All right, Mike.

15:24🔗 You have to apologize.

15:25🔗 Drew The whole thing was sexual orientation and gender identity. They're two separate things. Sometimes they can be both off. That happens. That's like it never happens.

15:34🔗 Adam All right.

15:36🔗 Adam You know why I'm intrigued? I'm intrigued because he's clung on to this horrible story with two hands. Keep going, Mike.

15:47🔗 Drew So what would you like from us?

15:49🔗 Caller I just want to know. I mean, our friendship has already changed.

15:53🔗 Drew What would you like from us?

15:55🔗 Caller Do you think that I should attempt to have a relationship?

15:59🔗 Yes, I do.

16:02🔗 Adam Yes, I do.

16:04🔗 Drew That's not a question, Mike. Right? That's not really a question.

16:09🔗 Adam Mike, you see, we're only angry at you because you're clinging to your horrible, bogus question. Under the Bogus Geneva Convention, you have to come clean when we call you on it. You understand? And we called...

16:23🔗 Caller Adam, I swear to you, if this was Bogus, I wouldn't even be on the phone with you, man. I'm sitting at work right now on my lunch break.

16:30🔗 Drew All right.

16:30🔗 Adam So... Hold on. Let me tell you something. You're calling from Michigan?

16:33🔗 Caller Yes.

16:34🔗 Adam Is it 2 in the morning over there? What time is it over there?

16:38🔗 Caller Right now, it's about 1 o'clock in the morning.

16:40🔗 Adam All right. Bad sign when you're taking lunch at 1 a.m. That means the career is not going as good as it could.

16:46🔗 Caller No, it's a factory job.

16:47🔗 Adam All right. Let's get into Mike a little bit. What kind of factory?

16:52🔗 Adam Automotive?

16:53🔗 Caller No, actually, we produce parts for power plants.

16:57🔗 Adam All right.

16:57🔗 Caller Steel parts for power plants.

16:58🔗 Adam All right.

16:59🔗 Drew Interesting.

17:00🔗 Adam And I'm starting to warm up on Mike because he's working with his hands. Yeah. And what are you eating for lunch? You pack a lunch?

17:07🔗 Caller No, I usually just run down to Mickey D's or something. There's one about three blocks down the road.

17:11🔗 Adam Oh, open till 1 a.m., huh?

17:14🔗 Caller They got 24-hour Mickey D's in Michigan. That's why we're one of the fattest states, buddy.

17:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Really, like I said, shouldn't it be a law that you can't sell stuff with more than 700 grams of fat after 2 a.m.?

17:27🔗 Drew You would wish.

17:28🔗 Adam It'd be nice. All right. So Mike, you not a big hit with the ladies normally?

17:35🔗 Caller I haven't had any problems generally. It's just that I've grown, I've known this person for years and you know, it just seems natural, but I don't know. That's why I'm on you guys, man.

17:49🔗 Adam All right, Mike. Well, first off, as you know, I believe everything happens for a reason.

17:53🔗 Drew All right.

17:54🔗 Adam It's number one. Number two, if you are truly attracted to this former man, that means things have not gone real well for you in the chick department. Drew, we all know when a guy is riding high and having his way and having a good time with the ladies and we know when the guys are clinging and desperate and this is a fine example of that.

18:20🔗 Drew How come you had a girlfriend? You've been married?

18:23🔗 Caller I was married once back right out of high school.

18:26🔗 Drew What happened with that?

18:28🔗 Caller It turned out really bad. She was a cheater.

18:31🔗 Adam She was a cheater.

18:31🔗 Caller I've dated since then but you know I usually work 12, 16 hours a day. 5, 7 days a week.

18:39🔗 Drew I know people look first off 12, 16, 5, 7.

18:43🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

18:44🔗 Caller My schedule varies.

18:45🔗 Adam Works about 190 hours a week. Drew, let me tell you something about Drew when he was a young man. And Drew worked 20 hour shifts, 8 days a week and still found time to bang the bejesus out of everything that moved in the hospital. And I'm talking everything from the morgue up to the top office in the penthouse and everything in between. You understand? I'm talking lab techs. I'm talking ambulance drivers. I'm talking janitors. I'm talking about the guy who refilled the vending machines. Anyone who came into that place got a sound thrashing from Drew sexually. You understand? So don't give me about the schedule. There's always time for sex. Yes, Drew?

19:24🔗 Drew Oh, sure, Adam.

19:25🔗 Adam As a man of passion, Drew has to admit I'm right. Mike, this is the act of a desperate man.

19:35🔗 Drew If it's true.

19:36🔗 Adam If it's true.

19:36🔗 Drew Which by the way, it just isn't.

19:38🔗 Adam It isn't. But Mike.

19:39🔗 Drew We'll keep going as it were.

19:40🔗 Adam Here's what you need to do. How many pounds overweight are you?

19:45🔗 Caller I don't know, probably 30. I'm 6'3. I weigh about 280 pounds.

19:50🔗 Drew Ooh, 30 pounds.

19:52🔗 Adam Yeah. By the way, when did the bar get raised on the fat ass bar get raised or widen so much?

19:58🔗 Drew I think it's just conspiracy with McDonald's.

20:01🔗 Adam It's awesome. We talk to chicks all night long. They're like, you big gal?

20:06🔗 Adam No, no, no.

20:07🔗 Adam I call myself curvy. I'm a 5'1, 245. Yeah, we just call that fat.

20:13🔗 Adam I don't know.

20:14🔗 Adam I get no complaints. Yeah, well, no one calls you a fat ass while they're trying to get oral from you. They wait till they drive home and tell their buddies. Say to your friend, I don't get any complaints. Yeah, we talk to chicks all night long.

20:29🔗 Drew Think how great we'd feel if we were women. Oh my God. Oh my God.

20:33🔗 Adam Yeah, we would talk to women all night that are 195 pounds.

20:36🔗 Drew We would feel like queens, kings.

20:39🔗 Adam Talk to chicks that are 200 pounds. They're like, I'm like four ounces overweight. It's like a butterfly laying on my shoulder.

20:45🔗 Drew But it's like guys are so such nut jobs that they just go like laser beams at women. It'll tell them anything. Go after them, make them feel like they're attracted because they'll just go for it. Yeah.

20:55🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

20:57🔗 Mike. Yes.

20:59🔗 Drew All right. So Mike, here's the deal. Do whatever you got to do. There's sort of no question for us here. We can't make a decision for you.

21:05🔗 Adam Mike, do you have a bad mustache that's sort of almost red? No.

21:11🔗 Drew You have a mustache, though.

21:12🔗 Caller I do. I wear a goatee and beard.

21:16🔗 Adam All right. All right. All right. Here's what I'm going to need you to do. I'm going to need you to lose, what do you say, 30 pounds?

21:22🔗 Drew 80.

21:23🔗 Adam I'm going to need you to lose 80 pounds.

21:26🔗 Drew And work out.

21:27🔗 Adam And start working out and then start meeting some chicks.

21:30🔗 Drew But listen.

21:31🔗 Adam You, you dating a guy who used to be on the LaCrosse team with you in high school, who's now a chick.

21:40🔗 Drew It's going to screw you up. It's got some boundary issues. It's, it, it almost would be better if you were attracted to a transsexual for the first time kind of thing.

21:47🔗 Adam Yeah. And what happens come reunion time? Your date looks familiar.

21:51🔗 Drew Let's do it.

21:52🔗 Adam Yeah. You know what? Let me tell you, let me tell you another problem.

22:00🔗 Yeah.

22:02🔗 Adam I know the reason guys have gotten fat. I got a few theories. One is everything keeps getting bigger. XL, XL, XL, XL, XL. And your ass is like a, is like a goldfish.

22:14🔗 Drew It fills.

22:15🔗 Adam It'll, it'll fill, it'll fill the space. And if the tank keeps getting bigger, the fish will keep getting bigger. Put on, I mean, we've gotten in this before, but I, I, well, few things, few things. One is the, the stuff. Put on a pair of jeans from the seventies. Slap on some zeppelins or what you used to wear, Drew. Shemenda fur. Yeah.

22:35🔗 Drew Fur gamos.

22:36🔗 Adam Fur gamos. Those are shoes.

22:38🔗 Drew Oh no. What was the, what was it with an F?

22:41🔗 Adam Jordache.

22:42🔗 Drew Jordache.

22:42🔗 Adam I don't know. Put some jordache on and try to stuff your fat ass into some jordache. You put it, you put a pair of tight jeans on. You go out and eat a mint. You can feel your belly pushing on the waistband. Now you put on a huge sweat outfit.

22:57🔗 Drew Juicy's. Juicy sweat. Right.

23:00🔗 Adam You get on a mammoth sweat outfit. You go hit the buffet. You just keep going. You just keep spreading out. And the next day you just put on some cargo shorts that are like four feet long and eight feet wide. And you have to use, you know, 30 feet of rope to keep them up. And you just tie. You never feel it. Go put some tight 70s crap on. You'll feel like hell. Ladies put a tube top on, put some hip hugger jeans on. Guys put some of those jeans that zip up in the back and in the front on them.

23:29🔗 Drew Oh my God.

23:31🔗 Adam You put, here's the thing, if that's the fashion, if that's what people are wearing, if you put on six pounds, it's a big deal. You feel it when you put your pants on, you know it. You wear sweatpants, you put on 180 pounds, you wouldn't know it. Now let me tell you the other thing.

23:49🔗 Caller Facial hair.

23:51🔗 Adam You want to know why fat guys always have beards, or bearded guys are always fat?

23:55🔗 Drew Give me a chin.

23:56🔗 Adam It's like, the one thing that really hangs out now is a guy, the only thing that really gets fat on you is your face. Everything else gets husky until about 300 pounds, you know what I mean? You want to put a long-sleeve lumberjack shirt on and tuck it into some jeans, put a big belt buckle on some boots, you'll just start looking like a bouncer. You'll just start looking like a big guy, except when we see your three chins. But you grow yourself a nice beard, now you're just a big old lumberjack. See what I'm saying? So now what these guys do is they grow a beard and they carve in like a goatee. Why do you think most fat guys have goatees? You get to make a chin for yourself out of hair.

24:38🔗 Caller You've made a hair chin.

24:41🔗 Adam Do you understand? My head, I just look like a fat 13-year-old if I shave this thing off. I look like a 13-year-old with a thyroid condition. So I'm going to grow myself a chin.

24:54🔗 Adam Beautiful.

24:54🔗 Adam And a jaw. So between that and the sweatpants, now the biggest dudes you'll ever see in the world are dudes with sweat outfits on and goatees. Like if you said, what's this dude, what's he wearing? He's got one of those sort of velour sweatpants and sweat tops on it, outfit, and a goatee, you'd be like, oh, he's 400 pounds.

25:19🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

25:20🔗 Drew You're profiling, though. How dare you?

25:22🔗 Adam All right, I'm just saying, you go to a clean shaven and some Shemendafer jeans, you got a skinny guy.

25:29🔗 Drew All right, let's go do that right now. Oh, first, I gotta say, first 10 colors tonight, just like every night this week, they get on the air that are over the age of 18, we'll get an iTunes gift certificate valued at $99. Now we can go to break.

25:40🔗 Adam All right, man. Yeah.

25:41🔗 Adam All right, when we come back, Jim sweats excessively.

25:45🔗 Drew Let's wait to see what comes up.

25:46🔗 Adam Shattered pelvis, blood settled in testicles. Again, no one cracks their pelvis or breaks it, it's always shattered.

25:53🔗 Drew Shattered, yeah.

25:55🔗 Adam Shattered. How do you think he did it?

25:59🔗 Caller A fall.

26:00🔗 Drew But I mean, like, it's not a car accident.

26:03🔗 Adam He didn't do it in the space lab?

26:05🔗 Drew No, not a car accident, he fell from a height.

26:07🔗 Adam All right, but what, skateboarding?

26:10🔗 Drew Falling off a scaffolding or something.

26:12🔗 Adam All right, all right. Roofer.

26:14🔗 Adam I'm going...

26:15🔗 Drew Roofer, come on, let's see, let's see.

26:17🔗 Adam I'm going bicycle.

26:18🔗 Drew All right, let's see. Gio Morman? How'd you do it?

26:23🔗 Car accident.

26:25🔗 Adam Such an idiot.

26:26🔗 Drew Gio Morman?

26:26🔗 Adam Do you understand what kind of anti-Clarvoyant power you have?

26:30🔗 Drew That's not a shattered pelvis, then.

26:31🔗 Adam I know, but do you understand that you said not a car accident, anything but a car accident, a car accident?

26:36🔗 Drew Accident of the fracture. This is him.

26:38🔗 Adam But do you understand the kind of...

26:40🔗 Drew Yes, I was perfectly tuned in.

26:42🔗 Adam This sort of counterintuitive powers that you have.

26:45🔗 Drew Yes, they're remarkable.

26:46🔗 Adam Someone's got to take you to the track.

26:49🔗 Drew Oh, oh, yes. That's where my powers really come to be.

26:52🔗 Adam Who do you think's going to win this race? Lucky lady. All right. Take Jezebel to win, right? All right. Let's take a quick break. Be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Clint, who doesn't have a, well, look, everyone says they have a shattered pelvis. Anyone who gets their pelvis gets injured, so shattered.

27:50🔗 Drew Yeah, let's hear what it actually is. I think it's an acetabular fracture.

27:55🔗 Adam Clint?

27:55🔗 Drew Clint, what kind of fracture is this?

27:57🔗 Caller Acetabular, it's a compact.

27:59🔗 Drew All right, so that's not a shattered pelvis, it's an acetabular fracture. It's what you get when you straight your feet out when a car accident, it pushes your femur back into your pelvis.

28:07🔗 Adam What, what happened with the car accident?

28:10🔗 Caller The old story, heroin junkie steals a car, runs from the cops, runs into me.

28:15🔗 Drew Oh my god.

28:16🔗 Adam Were you wearing a seatbelt?

28:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:19🔗 Adam Do you have airbags?

28:20🔗 Caller Yes.

28:21🔗 Adam What kind of car were you driving?

28:23🔗 Caller The classic 92, 96 Subaru Legacy.

28:27🔗 Drew Was the guy going fast?

28:29🔗 Caller I was probably going about 70, he was probably about 85. Wow.

28:33🔗 Adam Were you going the same direction?

28:36🔗 Caller No. He was coming at me and I swerved at the last second. He lost control of his car and came into my lane.

28:42🔗 Adam So he sort of clipped you?

28:43🔗 Caller Yeah. Wow.

28:45🔗 Adam Did the cops get that wheel out that they push along the skid marks? I like that wheel.

28:50🔗 Caller I don't really remember.

28:51🔗 Drew That's for fatal accidents and stuff.

28:53🔗 Adam No. They get that wheel. They want to see how long the skid mark was. A little clicker wheel.

28:58🔗 Drew Measuring it out.

28:59🔗 Adam Yeah. Realtors use it once in a while. Some guys who do industrial carpet.

29:02🔗 Adam Okay.

29:03🔗 Adam You know you've arrived when you have that stick with the wheel.

29:05🔗 Drew I did that around my house. I was impressed.

29:06🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

29:07🔗 Adam You get one of those.

29:08🔗 Adam You know you've arrived when you have the one with the big wheel.

29:10🔗 Caller Oh.

29:11🔗 Adam Clint?

29:12🔗 Drew I want that.

29:13🔗 Adam How can we help you tonight?

29:15🔗 Caller Well, I had a lot of internal bleeding and my testicles and other parts swelled up very large when the blood started to settle.

29:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:23🔗 Drew So that's not so much from the, that's not from the acetabular fracture so much as you had some bleeding in your pelvis.

29:29🔗 Caller Right.

29:29🔗 Drew Wow. Was it a bladder injury or something? What happened?

29:32🔗 Caller Lacerated kidney. You know.

29:34🔗 Drew Okay.

29:35🔗 Caller Broken ribs and all that.

29:36🔗 Drew Lacerated. Did that remove the kidney or is it okay?

29:39🔗 Caller Oh, it's okay.

29:40🔗 Drew Oh my goodness.

29:41🔗 Adam Well, what do they do when your kidney gets lacerated?

29:43🔗 Drew They leave it alone or they take it out?

29:44🔗 Adam But they don't fix it?

29:46🔗 Drew They can fix it sometimes.

29:47🔗 Adam Well, if it's lacerated, don't they almost have to fix it? Will it fix itself if it's punctured or scraped?

29:55🔗 Drew You know, that is not my area of expertise. I'd imagine there's some times when it could repair itself.

30:00🔗 Adam Wow. And so this guy was running from the man, huh?

30:04🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

30:05🔗 Adam Are you suing the police force or anything good like that?

30:09🔗 Caller No, I've looked into it. I feel really bad about suing people, so I generally try to stay out of that.

30:16🔗 Drew What happened to the heroin guy?

30:19🔗 Caller It's getting blood out of a turnip. He doesn't have anything, so.

30:22🔗 Adam How bad is his injuries?

30:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:25🔗 Caller He's fine. Nothing happened to him.

30:27🔗 Adam Nothing ever happens to those guys. Or maybe it's the way it always seems. Maybe when one dies, who cares?

30:32🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

30:33🔗 Adam All right.

30:34🔗 Drew But he used to call it the law of inverse worth at the hospital.

30:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:37🔗 Adam Gangbanger. 20 bullets in him, he's fine.

30:40🔗 Drew Right. Yeah.

30:42🔗 Adam The kid who's graduating and going to Harvard next month and he's on his prom night.

30:47🔗 Drew Straight bullet.

30:48🔗 Adam Straight bullet takes him out.

30:50🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:50🔗 Adam But it's also inferior genes too.

30:53🔗 Drew No, Adam.

30:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:54🔗 Drew Because everything happens for a reason.

30:56🔗 Adam Oh, I believe everything happens for a reason, Clint. Sorry about your pelvis being shattered, but I do believe that that happened for a reason.

31:02🔗 Caller As a tabular fracture. Adam, come on.

31:04🔗 Adam As a tabular fracture.

31:05🔗 Drew Right.

31:06🔗 Adam All right. So, Drew, what should he do?

31:08🔗 Drew He's just reporting that to us. That's all right. It'll get better.

31:11🔗 Adam Hey, Clint, were the cops pursuing, the cops were pursuing this guy?

31:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:19🔗 Adam And, you know, we have that out here in Los Angeles. No one wants the cops to chase the guys. I would like them to either chase them and just pounce on them immediately or leave them alone. But what they've they've here's what we have in this.

31:33🔗 Drew The one today, the guy had two kids in his arms when he popped out of the car, two infants. Did you see this?

31:38🔗 Adam All right, now I'm not, I've been wrong a few times. A few times. But I know in my heart of hearts, I'm not wrong this time. Jewish or Asian? Come on, come on.

31:52🔗 Drew I'm not gonna tell you.

31:53🔗 Adam Tell me this guy wasn't a Jew.

31:55🔗 Drew I don't want you to be right.

31:58🔗 Adam I know when I, when I said this just sounds like the work of a Jew. Running from the cops, got the kids in the car, not belted in.

32:05🔗 Drew Then they tased the guy, still took five guys, bring him down.

32:08🔗 Adam Well now we're definitely talking about a Jew. Yes. I know. Had a pager on him, that rubbed him. Stethoscope over his shoulder. Yeah. Here's the thing. We, the cops need to just start shooting away or not chase at all. What they do now is they just pursue until the guy runs out of gas after he trans, you know, after he sort of canvases the entire city.

32:34🔗 Drew Yeah. Nearly kills 400 people.

32:37🔗 Adam I had a guy, I know I've told this before, I had a guy go up my street when I used to live over on Beechwood Canyon. Guy went up Beechwood Canyon, guy drove all the way through Beechwood Canyon, guy came down Beechwood Canyon, guy came out. Now, here's the thing. When you go up Beechwood Canyon, there's really only one way that lets you out.

32:56🔗 Drew Same way you came back in, right?

32:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Just park a car there sideways and that's the end of the chase. But he came down and he drove all the way through. Now, he started in Hollywood and drove all the way through Hollywood. Then he went up, saw the Hollywood sign, then turned back around and went back down again.

33:10🔗 Drew It's like San Diego or something, right?

33:12🔗 Adam No. He hopped on the freeway and he went through like Griffith Park and Travel Town and the Five Freeway and all that kind of stuff. And then he got back up and he headed for the West Valley. Then he drove and finally ended up abandoning his car somewhere in like Canoga Park, like Devonshire and Roscoe or something, jumped out of the car, ran through some like old folks home and they tackle him, some guys back here. It was like three hours and he'd covered like 180 miles. Along the way, he could have ran your kid over a thousand times.

33:40🔗 Adam Right.

33:42🔗 Adam He was up top at Beachwood there. Let's park a car and go ahead and have an hour.

33:46🔗 Drew I was on Scarborough tonight. He was asking, why does this happen? Why is that? Well, first of all, they get no punishment for this stuff. And secondly, I think in days of yore, they just go pow pow. Yeah. You're going to hurt somebody.

33:56🔗 Adam No, and cops are so, and the lawyers have created such an environment that everyone's scared to do anything. So all we do is nothing, which is obviously worse. You just ride behind him 75 feet and just watch him run over people and drive up on the sidewalk. It's awesome.

34:15🔗 Caller Lily.

34:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:17🔗 Adam By the way, he'll sue you if you put a few slugs in his tire and the car spins out of control and rolls over. His family will sue you. The guy who stole the car.

34:27🔗 Drew Crazy.

34:28🔗 Adam That's the beauty of it. Go ahead, Lily.

34:31🔗 Hello. My girlfriend won't have sex with me anymore, and the only thing I can really correlate it to is the fact that I've over the course of the year lost a bunch of weight. And I guess she's feeling insecure.

34:43🔗 Drew No, no. How long have you been in this relationship?

34:46🔗 Three years. A little over three years now.

34:48🔗 Adam You lost a bunch of weight and she's feeling insecure?

34:50🔗 Drew Yeah, nonsense. Hey, Lily, one of the things that...

34:53🔗 Adam You don't think people want to have sex with people that look better than them naked? That's everyone's goal.

35:00🔗 Well, I mean, we used to like almost every day go at it, you know, in the living room with the lights on, in the pool hall bathroom, everywhere. And now it's like, if we have sex at all, it's in the bedroom, under the blankets, with the lights off, and half the time she doesn't even get completely naked.

35:15🔗 Drew Is she on medication?

35:17🔗 No.

35:17🔗 Drew Is there anything else going on in her life or your life?

35:21🔗 She's having a lot of stress at work just because of fear, fear kind of crap that's happening with the man. The office manager and the boss sleeping together and she's catching flack, but I mean that just recently started, like within the last month, and we've been sort of slowing down sex over the last-

35:42🔗 Drew Well, I don't know that this has been documented anywhere, and it's certainly not true of all lesbian relationships, but I've had several lesbian friends tell me that one of the well-kept secrets amongst lesbian relationships is that it's very common for them to stop having sex after about 6 to 12 months. Some continue, but many just stop, and that's a very, very common thing in lesbian relationships.

36:04🔗 Adam Well, it's a direction that a fair amount of women want to go in a heterosexual relationship. They get married, they have a few kids, they settle in, and they just, you know, it's time to spoon to the grave. It's really what it is.

36:19🔗 Drew Spoon unto the grave.

36:20🔗 Adam My wife had one of those made-up needle points she put over her bed.

36:23🔗 Drew That's nice.

36:23🔗 Adam Spoon to the grave.

36:24🔗 Drew Spoon unto death, here's yours says.

36:26🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a, oh, let's see. Spoon a diem. What the?

36:33🔗 Drew Spoon a diem.

36:36🔗 Adam No, it's a Latin thing.

36:38🔗 Drew Spoonotum.

36:38🔗 Adam It's corpus. It's a spunus corpus. Spunus corpus diem. Today we spoon, tomorrow we're dead. I think it's roughly how it translates.

36:48🔗 Drew Roughly, yes, yes.

36:49🔗 Adam Translates. Yeah, it's a nice needle point. You want her to make you one?

36:53🔗 Drew I want the sunshine of mine, though.

36:54🔗 Adam Okay, with the sun?

36:55🔗 Drew A little flower, yeah.

36:56🔗 Adam Okay.

36:57🔗 Adam Spunus corpus diem. All right, what are we talking about? Oh, well, we have an expert here on lesbianism. What's going on? You have Michelle, Angelus Michelle.

37:10🔗 Drew You heard that?

37:11🔗 Adam You're a lesbian yourself. You have lesbian friends.

37:14🔗 Yeah, I hear that a lot, yeah.

37:16🔗 Drew Yeah, it happens.

37:18🔗 A lot of straight friends too, straight ahead of sexual couples as well, married couples as well.

37:22🔗 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no, no. How dare you? That's my delicate sensibility.

37:27🔗 But you have to spice it up, do different things.

37:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

37:29🔗 I mean, we had been doing different things and she'd never had any complaints. And I mean, she was always very comfortable at asking me to try new things and do new things.

37:40🔗 Adam All right, let me float a few ideas. One of the reasons this may happen, Dr. Drew, is oftentimes in a relationship, in a lesbian relationship, hold your ears, Michelle, one of them was some sort of past victim of something. So they get into that sort of hypersexuality thing, and then they get the sort of shut down phase. So you guys meet, you're going at it everywhere early and often, and now she shut down.

38:08🔗 Drew Which is a sign that you're actually more intimate. People that are trauma survivors can be sexual with people that they feel sort of negative with, but when they feel actually genuinely vulnerable and intimate, they can't show the sexual side of themselves.

38:20🔗 Adam Any past trauma on her side?

38:23🔗 No, I mean, not that. I can tell she has wonderful parents who are very supportive, and she just finished school and they put her through school.

38:32🔗 Adam She's just what you call a biological lesbian.

38:35🔗 Drew No, she never asked her.

38:37🔗 Adam He never asked her.

38:37🔗 Drew He could have been a neighbor or an uncle.

38:39🔗 Well, no, I mean, because I was raped when I was 12 years old, and we talked about that.

38:43🔗 Adam Oh, well, that's on your side.

38:45🔗 You know, she's like, you know, I've never been through any of that. If you ever need to talk, blah, blah, blah.

38:54🔗 Adam All right. So you're, you know, well, as long as I'm right, just as long as there's a lesbian couple, one of them was victimized in the past. That's all I care about. All right. So thank Christ you were raped. I know that came out the wrong way. Please take in the spirit in which it was intended.

39:08🔗 Drew But phew.

39:08🔗 Adam So, all right. So Lily, you've lost weight. Is she a big girl?

39:13🔗 She is, but I find that attractive.

39:16🔗 Adam What is she coming in? What's she coming in at?

39:19🔗 She's 5'7. She's coming in right around 200.

39:22🔗 Adam And not big by our Loveline standards. And you used to be a bigger girl, and then you lost some weight.

39:31🔗 When we got together, I was actually about the same weight and size as I am now. But over the course of the relationship, we get comfortable. I'm a chef, and so I cook. And just being comfortable with someone, you kind of start to let things slip after about the first year. And I got back to where I started. All of a sudden, you know, I mean, it has been like the last few years.

39:52🔗 Drew Hey, Lily, I would suggest you drop that theory. That has little or nothing to do with this.

39:55🔗 Adam The weight fluctuation, you were this way, then you got heavy, then you came back to this weight. Who cares? Yeah, she's probably going through, there's a couple of things. Something's going on with her, and you need to talk to her. What could be going on with her is just her sort of cadence. She could just be a 22 year old chick who wants to get it on twice a month, and that's it.

40:15🔗 Drew Or maybe the relationship's winding down, she doesn't want to look at that.

40:18🔗 Adam Or maybe she's stressed out, like you said, or depressed at work, or whatever, and is closing out.

40:22🔗 Drew Lots there, but to speculate is useless. You need to find, you need to talk to her.

40:26🔗 Adam Lily is a horny, I bet she's not straight. You know what I mean? She likes to cook, she likes to get it on with the lights on. I imagine finding a chick that is really into cooking. What happened to chicks? What they're selling and they're cooking. Here's the thing, let me tell you something, Drew. Let me tell you what, oh yeah, let me tell you something.

40:49🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

40:51🔗 Adam Drew pointed out that she was a couple of bells, forgot about that, but still. All right, so we shut the light off. What, here's the thing, women used to cook and they used to sew. They used to do things like that, they used to mend things, they used to put buttons on stuff, fix things and do stuff like that. And then somebody told them in like 1968, hey man, you don't have to cater to the man anymore, you don't have to cook anymore, you don't have to sew anymore, you don't have to mend anything, you don't have to do any of that crap anymore, you don't have to do anything, you're not a whitey slave. And they went, yeah, that's right, screw you, and they took all their sewing machines and their bras and their spatulas, they threw them all in the river. The only problem is they didn't replace it with anything. Now it's a big zero. Now all they do is not make any money and not go and not sew.

41:43🔗 Caller Fantastic, perfect.

41:46🔗 Adam What a time to get married, excellent. It's beautiful, that's like, hey buddy, I ain't your slave, I don't cook.

41:54🔗 Caller Yeah, the idea is right, you gotta make money. Now you have to make money. You make no money and don't do anything now. You understand? Hey, you know what? I'm gonna do the same thing. Hey man, I'm not your slave, I'm not going to work.

42:09🔗 Adam I'm not cooking, I'm not sewing.

42:11🔗 Caller Yeah, we're not eating.

42:14🔗 Adam What is that, Drew? What happened? Listen, here's the thing, ladies. You don't have to learn to cook, you don't have to learn to sew, you don't have to be anyone's maid, you don't have to be anyone's seamstress, you don't have to be anyone's chef, you don't have to be anyone's nanny, you don't have to do anything.

42:27🔗 Caller But, you have to make money! Or, go back to the cooking! They just eliminated all the crap they didn't want to do and they never replaced it with any of the stuff we wanted them to do. Yes?

42:40🔗 Adam Yeah, go make 150 grand a year, we'll get someone to cook.

42:44🔗 Adam All right.

42:45🔗 Drew We have kids, wait till you have kids. Wait till you have food.

42:48🔗 Adam Yeah, right.

42:49🔗 Drew Then you'll appreciate things a little bit more.

42:52🔗 Adam Or it's gonna get worse. We'll take a quick break, we'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Metz, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOV-5.

43:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:24🔗 Adam I want to talk to Jim. He's been on hold for a long time.

43:26🔗 Drew Before you do, we got to mention one last time this hour that the first 10 colors on the air, 18 or over, which Jim has won, will get an iTunes gift certificate, a gift card valued at $99, first 10 colors.

43:39🔗 Adam So you can download 99 songs?

43:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:43🔗 Adam It's a good gift. Jim?

43:44🔗 Yeah.

43:45🔗 Adam You're 18?

43:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:47🔗 Drew It's 100 bucks for getting on the air here.

43:49🔗 Adam I know.

43:49🔗 Drew That's the big deal.

43:50🔗 Adam I know. You should be paying us. You sweat excessively.

43:55🔗 Yes.

43:58🔗 Adam Where do you sweat the most?

43:59🔗 Just forehead, nowhere else.

44:01🔗 Drew Oh, Adam, that's your man.

44:03🔗 Adam Nowhere else.

44:04🔗 No. Maybe like when I'm working really, really hard, sometimes my bag, just a little bit. Other than that, all for it.

44:12🔗 Drew What the hell was that? What is that?

44:15🔗 Adam What is that?

44:16🔗 Adam Do you have a robot?

44:17🔗 Drew What is that sound? Your cell phone?

44:20🔗 Adam Your cell phone's ringing or doing something.

44:23🔗 Drew I'm walking away.

44:23🔗 Adam All right. So Jim?

44:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

44:25🔗 Adam Let me talk to you about this because I had this problem, my own self. And Drew, I'm, yeah, here's what I'm, you're quiet down. Here's what I'm trying to say about this. We've been talking in the past and the recent past about people getting the gastric bypass surgery, which is, look, if you're fat, you're fat, you're going to be fat. I saw your picture when you're three, you're a big melon head. Now you're 28, you're Buddha head. Just go ahead and get the surgery. If you're forehead sweating, you're forehead sweating. And people can say like, well, take it easy on spicy foods. This, that, and the other. But really, you're going to have sweaty forehead your whole life. That's how you're cut out genetically. So here's the thing. If it's a big problem for you, and it is for most people, have sweaty foreheads on dates.

45:10🔗 Drew You look shifty, you look nervous.

45:12🔗 Adam People think you're high or you're lying. Or possibly both, or you're lying about not being high.

45:18🔗 It's a lot.

45:19🔗 Adam Yeah, there is a procedure.

45:22🔗 Drew It's an operation where they reach, they get into your chest wall and take out the stellate ganglia.

45:26🔗 Adam They don't take it out, they shake it out.

45:29🔗 Drew They ablate it.

45:30🔗 Adam They vibrate it. They supersonically vibrate it. Whatever it is.

45:36🔗 Drew They knock it out. Let's put it that way.

45:37🔗 Adam Go on the internet.

45:38🔗 Yesterday, I just went to the doctor and I did a blood test and they said that my thyroid is abnormal.

45:46🔗 Caller What do you think that would mean?

45:48🔗 Drew You can sweat excessively when you have hyperthyroidism, but that's not what this is. It may be contributing to it, but it doesn't cause your forehead to sweat. The forehead is sweating as the means of perspiration for your body, as a specific genetic mechanism, and it can be corrected by knocking out a part of your nervous system called the sympathetic ganglion in that region.

46:08🔗 Adam Hey, Jim, go on the internet. What's that?

46:11🔗 Is the surgery safe?

46:13🔗 Adam I don't know.

46:14🔗 Drew Well, Adam's okay.

46:14🔗 Adam I get it, I'm alive.

46:16🔗 Drew And now he sweats all over his body.

46:18🔗 Adam Barely, but I don't sweat on my forehead.

46:21🔗 And one more thing, I just got dry soles. You think that will do any good?

46:25🔗 Drew All that stuff helps.

46:26🔗 Adam Everything helps.

46:27🔗 Drew XeracW helps.

46:29🔗 Adam Yeah, look, it helps like dieting helps a fat person, but nothing has the kind of impact that the surgery does with the fat guy or with the sweaty guy or with the sweaty fat guy.

46:40🔗 Drew There you go. With the beard and the chin.

46:42🔗 Adam Well, you got the beard and the sweatpants. All right, we'll take a quick break, be right back after this.

47:39🔗 Drew First 10 calls you get on the air tonight will win an iTunes gift card. $99. You win $99 for getting on the show at the Eastern 18 up the folder.

47:48🔗 Adam Hey everybody, how's it going? Did you get the phone number out?

47:53🔗 Drew Huh?

47:54🔗 Adam Did you do that iTunes thing?

47:55🔗 Drew What are you talking about?

47:57🔗 Adam We're gonna take care of some business. 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:00🔗 Drew Yes, some of the first 10 callers on the air tonight will win an iTunes gift card, $99.

48:04🔗 Adam All right.

48:05🔗 Drew And the gift ain't won.

48:06🔗 Adam All right.

48:08🔗 Adam And what? What did you say?

48:10🔗 Drew $99 and the gift ain't won.

48:12🔗 Adam $99 and the gift ain't won.

48:14🔗 Drew What's that song? 99... No, no.

48:18🔗 Yeah, 99 Loof balloons.

48:20🔗 Drew No. 99 problems and a... Yes, thank you. Yes.

48:26🔗 Adam Wow, true.

48:28🔗 Drawing the Jay-Z out there.

48:29🔗 Adam Drawing the Jay-Z.

48:31🔗 Adam Yeah. What's the lyrics to that song?

48:33🔗 Drew 99. There you go.

48:36🔗 Adam Oh, and a bitch ain't won.

48:37🔗 Drew See?

48:38🔗 Adam Drew, what have you been doing? What's going on with you?

48:41🔗 Drew Chewing mushrooms.

48:42🔗 Adam What happened to you?

48:43🔗 Adam Eating drugs.

48:46🔗 Adam Wow.

48:46🔗 Drew Eating drugs.

48:48🔗 Caller Lauren?

48:50🔗 Adam Yes. You're 22?

48:53🔗 Caller Yes.

48:53🔗 Adam What's happening?

48:56🔗 Caller Basically, my boyfriend has an addiction to the drug Oxycontin. And he's trying by himself to stop taking them right now.

49:05🔗 Drew It's very difficult. It basically doesn't happen, Lauren. That just doesn't happen.

49:10🔗 Caller Yeah, that's kind of what we're...

49:12🔗 Adam How much of the drugs is he eating a day?

49:17🔗 Caller He was taking up to four 80-milligram tablets a day.

49:23🔗 Drew That's a healthy dose. Look, he's an opiate addict. Opiate addiction is treated in a highly structured, long-term environment. He's got to find a way to get into treatment and just that's that. Spend the time and get going.

49:36🔗 Caller The other question was like we're college students and we don't have the means because I've called a couple of places and it's...

49:43🔗 Drew Go to your... you were at the... what's the name of your Sacramento state there? Sac State?

49:48🔗 Adam Sac State. Worse name for a college.

49:51🔗 Drew Are you at Sac State?

49:52🔗 Adam I'd rather go to Scrotum U than Sac State.

49:55🔗 Caller I am. He's not. He's at American River College.

49:58🔗 Drew Alright. Is there a student health services there?

50:02🔗 Caller I'm not really sure. I guess I could find out.

50:03🔗 Adam American River College sounds like a college you go to to learn how to deal pie gal poker.

50:09🔗 Drew Or do white water rafting or something.

50:11🔗 Adam What do we do? We do kayaking in pie gal. Some Texas hold them. I mean, that's my emphasis this year.

50:19🔗 Drew I wrote a thesis on the flop.

50:21🔗 Adam I wrote a thesis on the flop and the vague...

50:25🔗 Drew On the river card.

50:28🔗 Adam Drew, good specific information everybody. Thesis on the flop.

50:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:35🔗 Adam All right, Lauren. You guys can't afford not to get help.

50:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:41🔗 Drew You got to throw... He's got to throw himself on the mercy of whatever student health services there are there. He needs to get it... What?

50:47🔗 Caller So he can't really do it himself. There's nothing he can get for the withdrawal from anxiety that's non-prescription himself.

50:52🔗 Drew Absolutely not. That's like trying to fight an atomic weapon with a pop gun. This is profound biology. And the detox is not his problem. His problem is going to be staying off the drug once he's detoxed. And that's going to take some work. The detox is easy. You can't do it without a lot of professional help, but it's easy by comparison to staying off the drug.

51:16🔗 Adam Ready to keep a rockin?

51:17🔗 Drew Here we go. Break it down. You know what the flop is?

51:21🔗 Adam Yeah, the flop is the card, the last?

51:23🔗 Drew The first three. No, the river card or something was the last one.

51:26🔗 Adam It is?

51:27🔗 Drew They're called the river card?

51:29🔗 Adam What do they deal on the Texas Hole? Everyone gets four?

51:31🔗 Drew Two.

51:32🔗 Adam Two. And then they deal.

51:34🔗 Drew And then here comes the flop.

51:36🔗 Adam Then they deal the dealer's cards.

51:38🔗 Drew You played in these tournaments. We both did.

51:39🔗 Adam I'm always so drunk that I can never remember. And I just don't care. And they start flipping the cards. But is the flop?

51:46🔗 Drew The first three.

51:46🔗 Adam The first three is the flop?

51:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:50🔗 Drew Then the turn, then the river.

51:51🔗 Adam Oh, then the river. Oh, so the river did sound like a Texas song.

51:53🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:54🔗 Drew No, that was very good.

51:56🔗 Adam Thank you.

51:56🔗 Adam I don't know where and I don't know why.

51:59🔗 Caller John?

52:01🔗 Drew John. I got a five.

52:05🔗 Adam Let me tell you something. I know a lot of celebrities, a lot of people in general, just sort of enamored with poker all of a sudden. To me, it's right up there. Not quite up there, but right up there with the grown men bragging about comic books and excited about comic book movies and stuff like that. Hi, Fantastic Four is coming out. I don't know about the guy who played the, you know, the commish, he's playing the thing. I don't buy it.

52:30🔗 Drew It's a little more like Pokemon.

52:33🔗 Adam Whatever it is, grown men are not supposed to be that excited about poker. It's a bunch of guys sitting around, just sitting around, just messing with their chips. And then there's some guys wearing a wrap-around, sunglasses and a cowboy hat. And he's your idol, except for this guy's a huge loser. Yeah, but he wrote three books on Texas. Hold him. Still a loser. Still a loser. Believe me, he spends 18 hours a day indoor, drinking Diet Pepsi, doing that with his ships, and wearing a ski mask with goggles over it, sitting amongst other guys who have difficulty getting laid, or who are married and wives, hate them. It's really, it's not a sport. There's not that much involved with it. And I know, I know you have to be a genius. That's why the guy wins every year. It's just some kid who was playing on the internet. And then he comes and wins the big grand tournament. It's just, just get over it. Let's keep moving.

53:33🔗 Drew Okay.

53:34🔗 Adam Everyone should go outdoors and do something.

53:36🔗 Drew I agree with that.

53:36🔗 Adam Yes?

53:37🔗 Drew Yes.

53:39🔗 Adam Drew and I played one of those tournaments. And after three hours of sitting on our ass, being bookended by idiots who are somehow, you know, they're held up to the level of deity because they won a few tournaments, but they're really just idiots. I mean, you sit next to these guys, they're like, they're probably dumber than NASCAR drivers. You know, if you sandwich in between these two idiots, after my third sack of Doritos, it was time to go home for me. Like, I want to get the f out of there.

54:07🔗 Drew Yeah, just went all in, pal, that was it.

54:09🔗 Adam Yeah, here's the whole thing about, like, poker. Hour and a half of poker is entertaining. Four hours of poker is excruciating.

54:16🔗 Drew Yes, true.

54:18🔗 Adam Wait, you want to play 17 hours of poker? That's a good time?

54:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

54:23🔗 Adam I got a life to lead here. I gotta get home and masturbate, nap, and watch Teevo.

54:28🔗 Caller Okay?

54:29🔗 Drew By the way, your production crew for TLC doesn't know about that past nine years. I had to bring them up to speed with that today.

54:35🔗 Adam Teevo?

54:36🔗 Drew No, the masturbating and napping. You managed to meet some people without talking about that.

54:42🔗 Adam Wow.

54:43🔗 Drew Yeah, it was shocking.

54:44🔗 Adam John?

54:45🔗 Yeah?

54:46🔗 Adam What's up?

54:47🔗 What's up, man?

54:48🔗 Adam You're 25?

54:49🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

54:50🔗 Drew Here we go. What's going on?

54:52🔗 Caller Well, I'm like very much hardcore addicted to porn. And I want to like try to like stop or cut down or something.

55:00🔗 Drew Well, if you're really addicted, it's like being addicted to anything else. There's no cutting down. It's about being cold turkey on it.

55:08🔗 Adam But how do you do that? Because they, you know, it's like eating. I mean, they say you can't stop eating.

55:13🔗 Drew Yeah, you can cut down for a while.

55:14🔗 Adam You're addicted to food.

55:15🔗 Drew No, I understand. It's just like eating disorders really. And you can stop for a while and you can do it in a balanced way with the acting out is what needs to stop. And you can, you know, engage in a healthy way, in a normal, in a sort of regulated way. But to do it in a very intense way like you're doing, there's a lot of shame and guilt and that makes you want to do it even more.

55:34🔗 Adam Well, what are you, what are you doing?

55:36🔗 Caller Well, I'm spending pretty much all the spare money I have on it.

55:42🔗 Adam And what do you, what do you mean?

55:44🔗 Caller Like my phone bill is behind, my car is falling apart and I just want more parts.

55:48🔗 Adam Well, are you buying DVDs?

55:52🔗 Caller DVDs, magazines, online.

55:55🔗 Drew And then that's that signs of addiction when there are consequences, when you have financial consequences, legal consequences, relationship consequences.

56:02🔗 Adam Well, online, the site, how many times you beaten off a day?

56:06🔗 Caller I'm up to like eight or nine.

56:08🔗 Adam Hey, you will have a, It's a little light, like see up around 12, but you're moving in the right direction.

56:14🔗 Caller Stop when the tip starts bleeding.

56:17🔗 Drew Thank you, John. There's a treatment center out there. Wait, wait, wait. They called the Meadows out near you. You're in Arizona. It's beautiful. You know it is, check out the Meadows. They, they deal a lot. They might be able to be treated in an outpatient environment, but they do deal with the sexual addictions there, okay?

56:33🔗 Adam Well, this is sexual addiction.

56:34🔗 Drew This is it.

56:35🔗 Adam Do you have a girlfriend?

56:37🔗 I did.

56:38🔗 Adam And this cost you the relationship?

56:41🔗 Yeah.

56:42🔗 Drew Now, usually these guys-

56:43🔗 Adam Is there some substance abuse worked in? Cause you usually have a few beers and then that's when you start dialing the phone sex numbers.

56:50🔗 Drew Or he was a cocaine addict.

56:51🔗 Caller I've never been a big drinker, haven't used drugs since I was young, young, like 16, 17.

56:56🔗 Drew Did you get strung out on something when you were 17?

56:59🔗 Caller No, I was just smoking a little weed and air.

57:01🔗 Adam All right.

57:02🔗 Drew And usually though these guys- Hang on a second. Usually these guys get on to prostitution or other things. They get into more and more stuff.

57:11🔗 Adam Well, here's the thing. It's tough to spend a lot of money on stuff like DVDs and magazines because the stuff is just dirt cheap these days. You have to start getting in to prostitution or really start going through a paycheck because a DVD is $5.99. You know what I mean? Yeah. Everything is so packed with nougat-y porn goodness that you'd be hard pressed if you're just watching DVDs. John, are you seeing Call Girls?

57:41🔗 Caller No.

57:43🔗 Adam What do you ever think of them? What's that?

57:45🔗 Caller Not interested in actually going out and finding Call Girls.

57:49🔗 Drew Good, good.

57:50🔗 Adam All right.

57:50🔗 Drew Good.

57:51🔗 Adam How are you doing with, how's your relationship with your mom?

57:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:56🔗 I guess so-so.

57:58🔗 Adam All right.

57:58🔗 Adam Why don't you get yourself some help, get yourself a girlfriend and get a job and find to keep it.

58:05🔗 Drew These guys usually don't stop when the girlfriend comes around eight times a day.

58:09🔗 Adam Yeah, I know.

58:09🔗 Adam Sometimes women, if you find somebody that you're interested in and you don't want to lose, they can create some consequences on occasion, give you a little incentive. At least force you to sort of keep it together if they're around.

58:24🔗 Drew But there's something, a certain point, your brain at a certain point, when you cross into a zone where you're into this sort of super compulsive addictive behaviors, it's hard to dial that back. It's very hard.

58:36🔗 Adam Can't argue with you. Alan?

58:39🔗 Yeah?

58:39🔗 Adam 29?

58:40🔗 Adam Yep.

58:41🔗 Thanks guys for taking my call. I appreciate it.

58:43🔗 Adam Thanks for calling, Alan.

58:45🔗 Absolutely. Drew, I need your help.

58:48🔗 Drew All right, here we go.

58:49🔗 All right, on the head of my penis, or around the head of my penis where the skin is, the foreskin is, it's peeling.

58:55🔗 Drew Where the, on the corona, the tip thing or the foreskin?

58:59🔗 It's underneath the head. Like when you pull it all the way back, the skin all the way back, it's right around the top of the head or the bottom of the head.

59:07🔗 Drew The corona, there's a little ledge there.

59:10🔗 Yeah.

59:10🔗 Drew It's sort of packed in under the ledge.

59:12🔗 Right.

59:12🔗 Adam Is that the crown?

59:14🔗 Drew Corona is really cool, I think.

59:15🔗 Adam Does that mean crown?

59:17🔗 Drew I guess. Where's my anatomy book? Here, let me look it up. But here's the deal, that's usually either infection like a yeast or just some sort of like eczema.

59:28🔗 Adam Little yeasty on the peccary.

59:30🔗 Drew That's right.

59:30🔗 Well, there's also bumps on the side of the penis.

59:33🔗 Drew Yeah, that's usually perlipenile papules. So what you need to do is clean it super clean, washcloth, soap, clean, and then like a hair dryer, like a hand held hair dryer, bone dry. And if that doesn't take care of it, get some hydrocortisone cream over the counter. And if that doesn't take care of it, then you know how.

59:52🔗 Now, on my left leg, on the left leg though, it's got a big bruise on the side of it that I didn't hit it on anything. Is that part of that?

1:00:00🔗 Drew No.

1:00:01🔗 This whole thing is freaking me out.

1:00:03🔗 Drew Yeah, I could tell. The bruise, you hit something. You're just a young guy, you didn't realize it.

1:00:07🔗 Adam Oh, okay. I know.

1:00:08🔗 Drew I mean, if there's other, if you get spontaneous bruises elsewhere, I would definitely look into it.

1:00:14🔗 Adam Okay.

1:00:15🔗 And Adam, you're a god. I just wanted to tell you.

1:00:17🔗 Adam He had a little yeasty on the peckeroo. Thank you, Anderson.

1:00:21🔗 And Drew, thank you very much.

1:00:22🔗 Drew All right, Alan.

1:00:23🔗 Adam Thanks.

1:00:23🔗 Drew Good luck.

1:00:24🔗 Adam Thanks, Alan.

1:00:24🔗 Drew Go forward.

1:00:25🔗 Adam Let me tell you something.

1:00:26🔗 Drew Just go forth.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:27🔗 Drew And do not propagate.

1:00:30🔗 Adam Yes, yes. Let me say this.

1:00:32🔗 Drew Procreate.

1:00:33🔗 Adam Yeah, procreate. I was doing this interview with this guy from this Minnesota newspaper. I know he was telling me about this the other day.

1:00:40🔗 Drew I don't remember.

1:00:40🔗 Adam I said something about it. He never saw any movies.

1:00:42🔗 Drew Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:00:44🔗 Adam Sports reporters are horrible.

1:00:45🔗 Drew Yes, yes, yes.

1:00:46🔗 Adam Anyway, we were talking about X Games. We were talking about X Games, talking about motor sports. And I think we were talking about Supercross. You know, I like to watch the Supercross. It's the gut-busting sport of Warriors, Drew. Did you know that?

1:01:00🔗 Drew Nice.

1:01:00🔗 Adam Yeah, I go down to Anaheim, watch my big Supercross race. And this guy brought up a point, which is, there's a young black guy who races Supercross. His name was Bubba Stewart. The guy was phenomenal in the 125 category. And then they moved him up to 250. And I think he had a couple of injuries or something, but the guy's a phenom. And he's young. And he said, now what about the success of Bubba Stewart? You think it's gonna open the door to the inner city youth getting on, you know, joining the ranks of the Supercross? Cause as you know, not a lot of brothers ride in Supercross. And I said, and I never really thought about it. Cause it's just one of these things that they always did. Like, yeah, Tiger Woods has now opened the door for black people to play golf. And then I started thinking about, well, it's been 10 years. I don't see any black guys. I don't see any young 13 year old inner city guys. Yeah, I drive by the clubs. I don't see a whole bunch of brothers out there, young black kids. And then I thought, maybe young black kids don't want to play golf. And I thought, when I was 13, I didn't want to play golf. I wanted to play football or play sport. There was like a physical, yeah, anything but Texas Hold'em or golf. That's what you do when you're 70. Not when you're young and you're angry and you're from the inner city. When dunk a basketball and throw an elbow.

1:02:14🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:15🔗 Adam And then I thought, it's really stupid and kind of sending and sort of racist to suggest that these guys have to open the door.

1:02:23🔗 Drew Yes.

1:02:23🔗 Adam And that's that, A, it's suggested we're holding everyone back.

1:02:28🔗 Right.

1:02:29🔗 Adam B, it's super kind of sending. It's one of those sort of politically correct, lefty things that they do, sort of like affirmative action that they don't realize is really racist, like suggesting that these people aren't smart enough to make their own decisions. It's suggesting that if a guy wants to play golf and he's black, he can't play golf, or if he wants to ride super cross, he can't ride super cross because he's black. And by the way, how did Tiger Woods and Bubba Stewart get in it?

1:02:53🔗 Right.

1:02:53🔗 Adam No black guy to show them the way. They just happened to grow up with a dad that went in to play golf and a dad who wanted them to play, ride super cross. And so they got on a motorcycle and guess what? They won races and they won tournaments.

1:03:07🔗 Caller So they got to keep going.

1:03:11🔗 Drew I guess on some level, at very least, it creates a relate-able figure. Something gives them the idea to go that way, which is nice.

1:03:20🔗 Adam But it's really, like I said, I don't know. Does any other culture need that and isn't it condescending?

1:03:26🔗 Drew Yes, it is.

1:03:27🔗 Adam It's always horrible. And look, I told them, I don't think young black kids are really in a motocross just because they're not really in a motocross. There used to be all white guys in the NBA and now there's not anymore. What happened? Well, black guys want to play basketball. That's what happened. What happened in supercross, I guess black guys don't want to ride motorcycles. And I guess the same with water skiing and a handful of other sports. Yes.

1:03:54🔗 Drew And when they do, they will.

1:03:55🔗 Adam When they do, they will, but they ain't into it now. I never really thought about it, but it's almost, it's sort of racist to suggest.

1:04:03🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:04:03🔗 Adam That this is what's necessary and that everyone has to open the door for everyone. So listen, all the brothers who are listening, if you want to ride a motorcycle and in your 13, go get yourself a bike and go do it.

1:04:16🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:04:16🔗 Caller Or golf.

1:04:18🔗 Adam Why isn't everyone on a golf course black now? Or half Asian and black or whatever Tiger Woods is. Where's all the young black guys? Remember those Nike commercials from eight years ago? Oh, it's nothing. Inner city floodgates. Yes.

1:04:29🔗 Drew Yes.

1:04:29🔗 Adam Where are they?

1:04:30🔗 Drew They're playing football.

1:04:31🔗 Adam They're playing football. They don't want to play golf. Yeah, but there's a guy who's half your race who's doing it.

1:04:38🔗 Drew By the way, a bunch of white guys were playing golf when you were at that age. Did you want to golf? Oh yeah.

1:04:42🔗 Adam Cause I got to do everything white guys do. That's my thing. Yeah. A lot of pressure being black. Guys half black plays golf. You got to do it. You got to do something you don't want to do. White guy, your own dad plays golf. You don't want to play golf. Yes.

1:04:57🔗 Drew Yes.

1:04:58🔗 Adam All right. Let's keep going.

1:05:00🔗 Drew Megan, Megan, Megan.

1:05:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:03🔗 Adam Twenty five.

1:05:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:05🔗 Adam What's up?

1:05:06🔗 Caller Hi. My question is my boyfriend and me have been together for like two years. And he always wants to try anal sex. But every time we try it, I almost vomit.

1:05:20🔗 Caller Like it makes me gag.

1:05:22🔗 Drew And I wonder if that's like- Because you're having like a visceral reaction, like it hurts and you, you know, I don't know.

1:05:28🔗 Caller I don't know what it is. I just like, I get, I, even if I try to let go-

1:05:32🔗 Adam Or he goes that deep.

1:05:34🔗 Drew No. Let's, let's switch. Let's just, let's just sort of step back and consider that statement in relation to any other behavior. So every time I- Roller coaster. Yeah. Every time I ride a roller coaster, I ratchet gag and nearly vomit.

1:05:47🔗 Adam Right.

1:05:47🔗 Drew What are you going to do? What's your response to roller coasters?

1:05:52🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:05:53🔗 Drew Or are you going to try to figure out how to overcome the nausea to ride the roller coaster?

1:05:57🔗 Adam Maybe you should build a roller coaster in your backyard and start getting used to it.

1:06:00🔗 Drew Yeah. Or just not ride the roller coaster. Because your body is telling you something. It's not good for you. It's not what you want to do.

1:06:07🔗 Adam But her boyfriend likes amusement parks.

1:06:09🔗 Drew Well, she can stand in line. Stand there in line with them and let him put him, wave to him as he goes on the roller coaster and away goes.

1:06:15🔗 Adam All right.

1:06:16🔗 Caller Okay.

1:06:17🔗 Drew And by the way, many other rides at the amusement park. Many.

1:06:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:06:22🔗 Drew That would be much just as enjoyable as the one that makes you vomit.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Might I suggest, well, it's not the buccaneer. It starts with an F, but it's pretty close.

1:06:31🔗 Drew That buccaneer is a good ride.

1:06:33🔗 Adam It's the buccaneer if you replace the B with an F.

1:06:36🔗 Drew It's the big ship that swings.

1:06:40🔗 Adam Those are the rides we had growing up, kiddies.

1:06:42🔗 Adam Here you go.

1:06:43🔗 Adam Here's a fulcrum and a stick. There you go.

1:06:47🔗 Adam There you go.

1:06:48🔗 Adam Yeah, one minute you're going that way. And then when you stop going that way, you just eventually slowly start going that way.

1:06:54🔗 Drew But you liked it when you were four and your dad pushed you on the swing. So we're going to recreate that for you here in the amusement park.

1:06:58🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a buccaneer. It's like being on a swing except for sitting next to scary strangers.

1:07:04🔗 Drew On a swing.

1:07:04🔗 Adam On a swing. Yeah, same thing. Yeah, the buccaneer.

1:07:07🔗 Drew I like that one.

1:07:08🔗 Adam I did too, cause it looked like a pirate ship.

1:07:10🔗 Drew Yeah, but it felt good. It didn't give me a headache like the rest of them.

1:07:13🔗 Adam I like all pirate related rides.

1:07:15🔗 Drew I know you did. Yes, yes. Especially those that incorporate astronaut themes.

1:07:19🔗 Adam No, pirate.

1:07:20🔗 Drew But pirate astronaut.

1:07:22🔗 Adam Oh yeah, that's what I wanted to be. The first one. Still working on it. Yeah. I mean, is there anything better in Pirates of the Caribbean when you're nine?

1:07:31🔗 Drew Are you kidding? We were that age? Oh my God.

1:07:35🔗 Adam Is there anything better for any nine year old?

1:07:38🔗 Drew Now they're jaded. You don't understand. Oh, really? Oh, that's like, ha, ha.

1:07:42🔗 Adam Yeah, I know they're like video games and stuff, but the sort of animatronic stuff and everything.

1:07:47🔗 Drew There's so much of that now. You realize how much that is.

1:07:49🔗 Adam A lot of animatronic stuff.

1:07:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Everything's like virtual, whatever. Those guys had the pirates, like talking and stuff, their arms moving around.

1:07:57🔗 Drew I know. They got a lot of stuff.

1:07:59🔗 Adam I say Pirates of the Caribbean and then the haunted house.

1:08:04🔗 Drew Yeah, nothing better.

1:08:05🔗 Adam What's better?

1:08:07🔗 Drew Nothing. Haunted house at the time, just because it came next. Yeah.

1:08:11🔗 Adam But Pirates of the Caribbean, awesome.

1:08:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:13🔗 Adam Oh, it's all dank and cold. Pirate ship firing at you.

1:08:17🔗 Caller Dead men tell no tales.

1:08:20🔗 Adam Awesome. Chris? Although the guy who was talking was dead. It was like skull and cross.

1:08:29🔗 Drew No, that's a different one. That's the guy. I've asked you, mateys, and danger lies ahead. That's the skull talking to you. Then you go into that cave, and that's when you get the dead men telling you.

1:08:39🔗 Adam Who says dead men tell no tales, though?

1:08:41🔗 Drew Perhaps he knows too much. Remember that? The guy's telling you a story about the pirates.

1:08:46🔗 Adam You've got to actually pay attention to that. Here's the whole thing with the Corollas. I went once when I was five, and the next time I went I was 45. It's actually into the future.

1:08:55🔗 Drew Yeah. I haven't been yet.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing. If the skull and crossbones is talking, then I think dead men can tell tales. You know what I mean?

1:09:04🔗 Drew Yeah, well said.

1:09:04🔗 Adam Five minutes earlier I was talking to a skull.

1:09:06🔗 Drew Yeah, he was telling tales.

1:09:07🔗 Adam I understood him very clearly.

1:09:09🔗 Drew And you fell off the edge of something.

1:09:10🔗 Adam He could have said you were gay or that he had pictures of you masturbating and you know what I mean?

1:09:15🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:09:16🔗 Adam So you know what I mean? Which is it?

1:09:18🔗 Drew Yeah, forget it. I hate that ride.

1:09:20🔗 Adam Very inconsistent. What are we to believe? Chris?

1:09:23🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:09:23🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:09:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:25🔗 Adam What's up?

1:09:27🔗 Caller Yeah, my girlfriend and I, she's into sex and M, like S and M.

1:09:33🔗 Drew Sex and M?

1:09:33🔗 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:09:35🔗 Caller And I'm not into it. I don't know how to like tell her. Like, I mean, we talked about it a few times and-

1:09:43🔗 Drew What is it she wants to do? Yeah, maybe. What is it she wants to do?

1:09:47🔗 Caller Well, she like wants to like tie me up to the bed and like use a whip and stuff.

1:09:52🔗 Drew And so you haven't done that?

1:09:53🔗 Caller No, we haven't yet.

1:09:55🔗 Drew You've been having sex, but you are having sex with her?

1:09:57🔗 Caller Yes.

1:09:58🔗 Drew And why haven't you done this?

1:10:02🔗 Caller I'm just not into it.

1:10:03🔗 Drew Now wait a minute. I thought, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you haven't told her you're not into it yet.

1:10:07🔗 Caller Well, like, we talked about it, and but like I don't know how to tell her, like because she like keeps asking me.

1:10:14🔗 Drew Now, Chris, now it's starting to sound bogus. If you haven't told her you're not into it, how have you avoided doing it?

1:10:22🔗 Caller Well, easily. That's just what you do. Like we talked about it, but I haven't told her like because she keeps asking me.

1:10:28🔗 Adam All right. Well, she could, this could technically be right, which is they had sex, she's talking about stuff she'd like to do and he kind of ignores it and just has regular sex.

1:10:39🔗 Drew Now we can't hear it.

1:10:40🔗 Adam It's not really a question too, which is like she wants to, what do I do?

1:10:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:45🔗 Adam Oh, well, we have to kill her and bury her in the desert. It's just a non-question. Well, first off, do you really need a long explanation on why you don't want to be tied up and have your ass beat with a cat of nine-tails? Have your attorney draft something up. It should come as a shock to her.

1:11:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:11:06🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Tell her you're normal and you don't want your ass beat.

1:11:09🔗 Adam There you go.

1:11:10🔗 Drew Period.

1:11:10🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay.

1:11:11🔗 Adam All right. All right.

1:11:12🔗 Adam No.

1:11:13🔗 Drew That sounds both.

1:11:13🔗 Adam No question. You didn't even have a question.

1:11:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:11:16🔗 Adam Let's take a break.

1:11:17🔗 Drew Yes.

1:11:17🔗 Adam When we come back, girlfriend wants to act out date rape scenarios. See, this is true.

1:11:22🔗 Drew Yes.

1:11:24🔗 Adam All that. Yeah. After this.

1:11:28🔗 Drew Hello.

1:11:50🔗 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Phone, $1,800, VE191.

1:11:59🔗 Drew Here we go.

1:11:59🔗 Adam Here we go.

1:12:02🔗 Drew First 10 callers that have been on the air tonight will get an iTunes gift card valued at $99, and you must be 18 years or older to win.

1:12:11🔗 Adam Bad religion in here next week. Always a good time. Smart guys. Ooh, Dexter from The Offspring called me today.

1:12:18🔗 Drew Oh, flying.

1:12:19🔗 Adam I gotta call him.

1:12:20🔗 Drew Oh, no.

1:12:21🔗 Adam Well, I wasn't home. I'm calling him back. We're going flying, baby. And I'm gonna take the stick.

1:12:27🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:12:29🔗 Drew I think I got that playing.

1:12:30🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:12:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Steven?

1:12:33🔗 Caller Yeah, hey, what's up?

1:12:34🔗 Adam What's up? Yeah, hey. Oh, yeah, hey.

1:12:35🔗 Adam Your girlfriend? What?

1:12:37🔗 Caller You guys filled the earthquake today.

1:12:39🔗 Drew Yes, I did. Did you feel that?

1:12:40🔗 Adam Yeah, you know, it was funny. I'm trying to figure out. No, I didn't feel it. But what? What time did the earthquake hit?

1:12:49🔗 Caller 2.30? What?

1:12:52🔗 Caller 11.55?

1:12:54🔗 Drew No.

1:12:54🔗 Adam No, it hit later, didn't it?

1:12:56🔗 Drew Yeah, it was like 2.

1:12:58🔗 Caller Yeah, it could have been. It happened earlier. It was really...

1:13:01🔗 Adam Okay. How do you get so specific? Why don't you say...

1:13:04🔗 Caller 1.55 part.

1:13:06🔗 Drew I think it was 1.55. Or 2.55.

1:13:08🔗 Caller It could have been 1.55.

1:13:10🔗 Drew I know it was about 2 because my kids were in a movie at 2 and I was, you know...

1:13:13🔗 Adam I was working on my TLC show bitching and complaining about earthquake and earthquake rehab and how this building has been here since 1939 and it went through every major earthquake Southern California has put before it and it's fine and now because we're doing an addition we have to build it like the goddamn Merrimack and the camera guy said the earthquake hit during the crazy jag about the earthquakes in the city and how long this house has been here.

1:13:43🔗 Drew Interesting.

1:13:44🔗 Adam Yeah so I feel like I caused it.

1:13:45🔗 Drew Oh I'm sure.

1:13:46🔗 Adam Because I have powers.

1:13:47🔗 Drew You know it's weird you see how the quake went and it has had this little stuff before and I'm drawing an earthquake for it.

1:13:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:53🔗 Adam Yeah Drew did the seismic waves. Seismic, seismograph with Dr. Drew.

1:13:59🔗 Drew I felt this part which I found where the little tiny stuff that came before.

1:14:02🔗 Adam And then the big stuff you didn't feel.

1:14:04🔗 Drew Although I had a coke can thing next to me and I saw this I heard this kind of just a little rattling of the can. I mean the tiniest bit and I thought I hope that's not an earthquake. And then pow the house started moving.

1:14:14🔗 Adam Are we heading for something big?

1:14:17🔗 Drew We're heading for something. I don't know.

1:14:18🔗 Adam All right.

1:14:19🔗 Drew But here's the deal. We have to be punished now because this was a daylight far far exceeds the two hour time zone before after sunrise or sunset.

1:14:29🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:29🔗 Drew So we're gonna have to get nailed in the middle of the night now.

1:14:31🔗 Adam Well I barely felt this one. I mean I was sitting outside just on a folding chair and I didn't feel anything.

1:14:37🔗 Drew I felt it was a pretty good size.

1:14:38🔗 Caller It's weird. It was like a 5.3 and they knocked it down to like a 4.8.

1:14:43🔗 Drew 4.9.

1:14:43🔗 Adam Where was the EPA center?

1:14:44🔗 Caller Up by.

1:14:46🔗 Drew Yucaypa.

1:14:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:48🔗 Caller I'm not here in South Pass so I felt it pretty good.

1:14:51🔗 Adam All right.

1:14:51🔗 Caller In a house that's probably 80 years old.

1:14:53🔗 Adam Drew, where are you in Pasadena?

1:14:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:14:55🔗 Adam Yeah, I was down in the valley.

1:14:57🔗 Drew We're closer. We're closer.

1:14:59🔗 Adam I was sitting around with eight people and I was sitting on a job site with 25 people and no one said a word.

1:15:05🔗 Drew There was no missing. This was definitely an earthquake kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:09🔗 Adam I'm just saying it didn't hit the valley very good. Just 25 guys all working. No one said anything.

1:15:14🔗 Drew That's the thing about earthquakes. You never know where they're going to have them.

1:15:17🔗 Adam All right. So anyway, Stephen.

1:15:18🔗 Caller Yeah. My girlfriend of four months, we talked about sex and she wants me to sneak in at night and do a date rape or force rape upon her. But when I was younger, when I was in sixth grade, a family friend had done some sexual things with me. I'm really afraid to commit this on her now. And I was wondering, how do I get over the fear? I mean, there's nothing, I mean, she wants me to do it. She keeps on mentioning it. I was wondering, what can I do to get over the fear of doing this to her?

1:15:49🔗 Adam What's up with her?

1:15:51🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, I've been going out with her for four months. Why?

1:15:56🔗 Drew Is that too bad? No, not necessarily.

1:15:58🔗 Caller For women, it's being raped.

1:16:00🔗 Drew No, I don't know. It's a number one fantasy, but some girls do.

1:16:04🔗 Adam And you listen to KCK some?

1:16:06🔗 Caller No.

1:16:07🔗 Drew Some girls do like to act out something like that, where they feel swept away. Maybe the way to do it is to just-

1:16:13🔗 Adam Light rape is number one.

1:16:14🔗 Drew Yeah, take control of the situation and make her feel swept away by the whole circumstance rather than the cat burglar. Just see what you can recreate to make her feel. So some women, in order to feel sexual, like to feel like they're not responsible for their sexuality, that is you sort of taking control of it. But sometimes I think also, think about this, Adam, put him on hold for a second. I think all this stuff about girls liking bad boys, I've been thinking about that lately. I think women like sort of men withholding something from them. Do you think that's it?

1:16:44🔗 Adam Isn't that opening their book to them?

1:16:47🔗 Drew It's so much, and not just be brooding, but I mean, so much, you look at the women's magazines, there's so much preoccupation about what's going on with them, what's going on with them, what's going on with them. Yeah, well, that's open up, I gotta get back at it. They have something magical, something I need.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:16:58🔗 Drew And the guy that won't give that to them, that's the one I gotta have.

1:17:02🔗 Adam Yeah, let's pry that free from it.

1:17:04🔗 Drew This was Freud's theory about penis envy, that the penis was just a magical phallus with magical powers that women just needed to sort of get a piece of. And it really wasn't about the penis, it was just some sort of magical something that men had that they didn't have.

1:17:16🔗 Adam I got a magical chapstick I can wave upon a woman.

1:17:20🔗 Drew That's your penis, just saying. Yeah. Does that make sense?

1:17:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:23🔗 Drew Does that feel right?

1:17:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:25🔗 Drew And so her thing to sort of the date, right? Things are about having swept away, I mean, controlled by men.

1:17:29🔗 Adam I was just thinking if it was a 70s sitcom, he would go out the front door saying he was going to crawl in the window and an actual rapist would climb in through the window with a ski mask. And she'd be like, honey, yes, not so rough. Yes. Meanwhile, he would have been getting stopped by the cops and standing out front. She'd be thinking it was him the whole time.

1:17:48🔗 Drew Perfect. High comedy.

1:17:50🔗 Adam Awesome. All right. Look, Stephen, get some therapy. No, he was he was abused.

1:17:57🔗 Drew Well, what happened to you?

1:17:58🔗 Caller When I was in sixth grade, a family friend of mine would like kiss me and give me a hand job.

1:18:04🔗 Drew Oh, was it a girl or boy?

1:18:05🔗 Caller It was a guy.

1:18:07🔗 Drew Yeah, that's that's that's pretty heavy.

1:18:10🔗 Adam How about a little help for that, Stephen, and for the earthquake?

1:18:13🔗 Caller Yeah, therapy sounds like in my work.

1:18:15🔗 Drew All right.

1:18:16🔗 Adam All right. Look, here's the thing. With her, a little hair tugging, most women enjoy a little hair tugging. These sort of rape simulation is probably a step further than I would deem healthy. Yes? But still not out of the spectrum of normal. But it could mean something happened in the past, and they're acting something out.

1:18:43🔗 Drew Yeah. She likes him. He's got some stuff going on. Yeah.

1:18:48🔗 Caller Yes.

1:18:49🔗 Adam You're 25?

1:18:51🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:18:53🔗 Adam Your fiance wants to have a foursome?

1:18:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:58🔗 Drew No way.

1:18:59🔗 Adam No way.

1:19:00🔗 Drew No way.

1:19:01🔗 Caller No way.

1:19:03🔗 Caller She broke the question.

1:19:05🔗 Caller She has been experimenting with sex, like different types, like, I don't know. We've just been going at it, like, for the last three months.

1:19:14🔗 Caller And we've been engaged for six months. And she popped the question that she wanted to have a foursome with my best man and the maid of honor. Maid of honor, I have no problem with.

1:19:25🔗 Well, who wouldn't? Of course.

1:19:27🔗 Adam No, but that dress is a rental, so be careful where you aim. You know what I'm saying? You're not going to get your cleaning deposit back on that.

1:19:35🔗 Caller Yeah. And if I did it with my, the best man is my best friend. I don't know how I would deal with it.

1:19:42🔗 Adam Well, I mean, it's going to be turn on when he's, you know, banging you.

1:19:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:47🔗 Adam He's banging the bejesus out of your ass.

1:19:48🔗 Drew Well, first he bangs the girlfriend.

1:19:50🔗 Adam Oh, he's going to bang the fiance. And then he's going to bang you.

1:19:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Well, you got to do what you got to do. Look, first off, you know, weddings are filled with tradition. They all don't make sense. You know what I mean? The Jews, the Jews step on the glasses, smash the plates. You know what I mean? Then lift the guy up on the chair.

1:20:10🔗 Drew It's confusing.

1:20:11🔗 Adam It's hard. It's hard. We can't judge. Sean, this sounds bogus. Super, super bogus. Or you guys are just albino white trash. So I don't know. I don't know which one it is. I don't care. But if if if your fiance is actually pushing for this, run. Do not get married.

1:20:31🔗 Drew Right. This is not somebody who's ready to get married.

1:20:34🔗 Adam No, it's not. Someone is ready to do anything except for have a foursome.

1:20:39🔗 Drew And even that she'll have a huge reaction to.

1:20:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:20:43🔗 Adam You know, it's your yeah.

1:20:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:45🔗 Adam Foursome. Let's take a break.

1:20:46🔗 Drew Let's do well and talk to Nicole as a boob question.

1:20:50🔗 Adam Areola will go back to normal size and kid last year.

1:20:54🔗 Adam Let's talk to her.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Nicole.

1:20:56🔗 Yes. Yes.

1:20:59🔗 Adam You had a kid last year.

1:21:01🔗 Yeah.

1:21:02🔗 Caller He was born on Christmas.

1:21:04🔗 Adam Oh, well, that seems special, but it's probably going to be disappointing.

1:21:08🔗 Yeah.

1:21:08🔗 Drew Let's take a break.

1:21:10🔗 Adam And your areola's got big.

1:21:12🔗 Yes.

1:21:14🔗 Drew These calls.

1:21:14🔗 Adam Yes.

1:21:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:16🔗 And I was wondering if they'd ever go back to normal size.

1:21:18🔗 Adam How big did they get?

1:21:20🔗 Caller Um, a little bit bigger than a quarter.

1:21:25🔗 Drew That's tiny.

1:21:27🔗 Adam That's not that big.

1:21:28🔗 No, because mine were smaller.

1:21:30🔗 Caller And then during pregnancy, they got a lot bigger and they got a lot darker.

1:21:34🔗 Adam Oh, they got bigger. Hold on a second.

1:21:36🔗 Drew Write that down.

1:21:39🔗 Adam Yeah. I got my, hey, it was a quarter size. That's not very big. No, because they were smaller.

1:21:44🔗 Drew And then they got bigger and then they got smaller.

1:21:46🔗 Adam No, then they got bigger and they got darker.

1:21:49🔗 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:21:50🔗 Adam Fantastic.

1:21:52🔗 Drew No, we should have quit.

1:21:53🔗 Caller All right.

1:21:55🔗 Adam Hold on, Nicole. We're going to talk about your areolas after this.

1:22:01🔗 Drew Hello, what is it?

1:22:03🔗 Caller This is the Love Line.

1:22:04🔗 1-800-LOVE-191. Love Line will be right back.

1:22:34🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, it's Love Line, I'm Adam Nats, Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

1:22:43🔗 Drew Gotta talk you off the ledge.

1:22:45🔗 Adam Nah, I'm done, I don't want to do that.

1:22:48🔗 Adam I don't want to do this stupid Comedy Central show anymore. They're hassling me.

1:22:53🔗 Adam I'm not doing it.

1:22:54🔗 Adam Nicole?

1:22:55🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:22:56🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:22:57🔗 Drew Arreola.

1:22:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. All right.

1:23:00🔗 So, uh...

1:23:00🔗 Drew You do a tiny areola before, like dime sized?

1:23:04🔗 No, they're more like normal size, but I was talking to my husband during the break and he was...

1:23:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:23:10🔗 Adam Hey, Nicole, let me tell you... Let me just give you something real quick. Do not start every sentence with no.

1:23:16🔗 Okay.

1:23:17🔗 Adam It puts people off.

1:23:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:19🔗 Adam Especially if you're going to repeat what they said.

1:23:22🔗 Drew Quarter is normal size.

1:23:24🔗 Okay.

1:23:25🔗 Drew Okay, so you've got a normal size now.

1:23:28🔗 Caller No.

1:23:30🔗 My husband would tell me they're more like 50 cent pieces.

1:23:33🔗 Caller No.

1:23:35🔗 Adam Okay. So see women have no ability to judge size. Although they do know a small penis when they see one.

1:23:44🔗 Drew No, even that they can be confused about.

1:23:46🔗 Adam Well, I wish I could run in it.

1:23:49🔗 Adam No, no, how dare you. Here's the point. So is it, is it, how many inches across would you say?

1:24:00🔗 Caller About two, three.

1:24:03🔗 Drew Three.

1:24:04🔗 Adam Okay. Three inches is now getting to the opening of that coffee mug. So it's no longer. No, that's that's three and three eighths.

1:24:12🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:24:13🔗 Adam It's inner diameter, ID. So the point is, is it's a quarter size is normal, but this is bigger than maybe, you know, a 50 cent piece is probably an inch and a quarter. Pardon the pun. And if you're talking about two or three inches, now you're getting a sort of coffee mug size.

1:24:33🔗 Drew Now, have you, have you gained weight since the pregnancy?

1:24:36🔗 Caller Yes.

1:24:36🔗 Drew Have your breasts remained large?

1:24:39🔗 Caller Yeah, they keep getting bigger.

1:24:40🔗 Drew All right. Well, that's where the areola is stretching out. Well, does that make sense? You can't do that in math?

1:24:44🔗 Adam Look, what if you painted a face on a balloon and then you blew it up, you put some extra air into it, would the face get smaller?

1:24:51🔗 Drew You'd stay the same. How dare you?

1:24:54🔗 Adam Nicole, right? Your breast is getting bigger and the stuff that's attached to your breast is growing as well as your breast is growing. Yes? Okay.

1:25:03🔗 Drew That's the way that works, Nicole. Let's see if you lose the weight, things go back down.

1:25:06🔗 Adam How's your weight? How much weight you carry?

1:25:10🔗 Caller I weigh about 196.

1:25:12🔗 Adam Oh. All right.

1:25:13🔗 Adam Well, let's go ahead and call that 200 and say you want to get back down about 50 pounds, right?

1:25:19🔗 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:25:20🔗 Adam There you go.

1:25:20🔗 Adam We'll do that. And I bet those are all a shrink.

1:25:22🔗 Drew Yep.

1:25:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:25:24🔗 Drew All right.

1:25:24🔗 Adam You sound angry and depressed.

1:25:26🔗 Caller No.

1:25:28🔗 Adam No? Everything's cool?

1:25:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:31🔗 Adam Now our phone lines are so F'd up.

1:25:33🔗 Adam I can't even talk to anyone.

1:25:34🔗 Drew Michelle, somebody please fix these phones. It's a national radio show. We can't hear the callers.

1:25:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:40🔗 Adam Didn't sound angry and depressed to you?

1:25:42🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

1:25:43🔗 Adam At least angry.

1:25:43🔗 Drew Yes. Yes.

1:25:44🔗 Caller No.

1:25:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:49🔗 Adam Jim, is that Jim?

1:25:51🔗 Drew Yep.

1:25:52🔗 Adam 26?

1:25:53🔗 Caller Yes.

1:25:53🔗 Adam What's up?

1:25:54🔗 Caller Okay. I have a boyfriend. Well, actually an ex-boyfriend, but we've been on and off. His roommate, which he went to Iraq with. I guess he got really drunk one night and I just found out about this. But there was some reason I did not like the guy. I was like, he's gay, he's gay.

1:26:12🔗 Caller Everybody thought he was gay.

1:26:14🔗 Caller Well, he got really drunk.

1:26:15🔗 Adam Now, was he in the service or just go there for a vacation?

1:26:19🔗 Caller He was a corpsman, a medic out there.

1:26:22🔗 Drew Your boyfriend, both of them were?

1:26:24🔗 Caller Yeah, both of them were. He met him out there. And they got put together to watch the guys. But anyhow, I guess they obviously grew a bond together since they were out in the war together. Came back with this guy, they ended up moving in with another guy that was serving the service. And then all this stuff happened, drama. And then they moved out to another place in Irvine. And one night he got really drunk and he passed out. And he's known to like, there's no way of waking him up when he's drunk. But he found his roommate sucking his thing, his wiener. And I was just wondering, it's messed him up really, really bad. And I'm just wondering what kind of mental, you know, how is he going to be mentally? Because now our sex is like awful. I can't even go down on him because I'm thinking that he's thinking of that guy.

1:27:15🔗 Drew Hold on a second. What do you mean it's messed him up emotionally? What is he complaining of?

1:27:20🔗 Caller He was to be really good in school and then now he's just, you know, he's not really focused on it. His priorities are getting messed up. Is he doing drugs?

1:27:28🔗 Adam Well, hold on. He couldn't have been that good in school. He wouldn't have been in the military.

1:27:32🔗 Caller No, he went there for a medic. I mean, he's not a dumb kid at all. I mean, he went there to aid everybody. So he had to go through that whole thing. So he's in business. He's at Fullerton right now.

1:27:44🔗 Adam Wait a minute.

1:27:46🔗 Adam He got out of high school. Did he go to college?

1:27:48🔗 Drew First of all, Jim, you were somebody that buys spin. Spin. You're not thinking about things. Let's start thinking things through here. Just look at the evidence.

1:27:58🔗 Adam He got out of high school and he did what?

1:28:00🔗 Caller He went to the military. But while he was in the military.

1:28:03🔗 Adam Why didn't he go to college?

1:28:04🔗 Caller Because he didn't have enough money to go into college.

1:28:07🔗 Drew The colleges are free, certain colleges.

1:28:10🔗 Adam Yeah, people get grants and aides.

1:28:12🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

1:28:13🔗 Adam People get grants and aides all the time. Was he a good student in high school?

1:28:18🔗 Caller I don't know exactly if he was, I mean, I don't, what does that have to do with this?

1:28:23🔗 Drew Yes, tons. This is what we're talking about. You don't know who he is even. Why did he come out here from New York?

1:28:28🔗 Caller Oh, he got transferred to Camp Penalty 10 from New York. He was stationed out here.

1:28:35🔗 Adam I know, but I asked why did he go into the military?

1:28:38🔗 Drew And you can't even answer that.

1:28:39🔗 Adam No, no, but here's the thing. I said why did he go into the military after high school? Why didn't he go to college? And he said he couldn't afford it. And you said college can be free. And he's like, he's from New York. So he went, oh, so we couldn't qualify for any of that. I thought she was saying he couldn't go to UCLA without paying full.

1:28:59🔗 Drew I wasn't even going there. I was just saying this guy's moving around. Something's going on. He's leaving something. What the hell's going on here? But in New York, especially, there's all kinds of services you get for nothing. So why didn't he go to college in New York? Why didn't he?

1:29:11🔗 Caller While he was in the military, he still went to school because when he graduated, he went straight into Fullerton. I mean, when he quit, when he got done with the military, he got accepted into Fullerton. So he finished his AA while he was in the military.

1:29:21🔗 Adam Okay.

1:29:22🔗 Drew And what's he studying in Fullerton?

1:29:23🔗 Caller He's studying business and marketing.

1:29:25🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

1:29:27🔗 Drew And then what happened to his schooling because of this? When did this episode happen with The Roommate?

1:29:32🔗 Caller It happened probably about five months ago. And I found out about a month and a half ago.

1:29:37🔗 Drew And how did it come up? Why did he bring it up with you?

1:29:39🔗 Caller I was at the house when the roommate came home and he said to get out of his face, my ex-boyfriend, and he's all, you know, I told you I pay for psychology, you know, appointments, and we can get this all straightened up and all this stuff. And they ended up fighting. And I, of course, I was there, Mom, what are you guys, what are you guys fighting about? And he's all, I got to tell you something, Mom. Yeah, he told me and I was comfortable.

1:30:05🔗 Adam Yeah, I wouldn't bet your boyfriend, though, drinks and when he goes to bed, you can't be woken up.

1:30:12🔗 Drew Right.

1:30:13🔗 Adam Is a weird is a bad sign.

1:30:14🔗 Drew Yeah. So sums up with him.

1:30:16🔗 Caller I've been telling him to, and everybody's been telling him that way. That's not good. I mean, he's to the point where you can't like someone will end up sucking in. You know, that happened. He didn't even know. I've seen I've seen how unconscious he gets when he drinks.

1:30:28🔗 Drew And I was an alcoholic. He's an alcoholic. He went to the military for unclear reasons. He still lives with the guy who is a perpetrator of sort of a rape. Basically, I wanted sexual contact rapist. There is a ton more here than, you know, a ton.

1:30:45🔗 Adam And Jim, Jim, you sound at 26 is sort of confused as anyone I've met.

1:30:51🔗 Drew So this is this.

1:30:53🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up? What are you doing?

1:30:55🔗 Caller Well, I'm confused. Well, I go to I'm studying interior design. I'm nearly done. I have a couple more.

1:31:00🔗 Drew Well, there's something much more going on here. Much, much, much more.

1:31:04🔗 Caller Yes.

1:31:06🔗 Adam I approach him and ask him, well, here's the deal. It's going to be tough because just believe us, there's something going on with this guy. Yeah. Was he a victim? Yes. Is there more to this or to him?

1:31:21🔗 Drew Yes.

1:31:22🔗 Adam With the alcohol and the military stuff.

1:31:25🔗 Drew And still living with a- Jim, hey, and still living with a perpetrator.

1:31:29🔗 Adam Why is he still living with this guy?

1:31:31🔗 Caller He's the guy's main to an agreement to not stay at the house.

1:31:36🔗 Caller Because he has a lease.

1:31:38🔗 Caller I'm sorry? What?

1:31:39🔗 Drew What they what?

1:31:40🔗 Adam Does the guy still sleep?

1:31:42🔗 Caller No, he doesn't sleep there anymore.

1:31:44🔗 Adam He sleeps somewhere else.

1:31:45🔗 Caller Yeah, sorry, somewhere else, because he's always out on business trips. The thing is, I think, I want to call it, he's a pharmaceutical rat. And I just want to kill him. Not kill him. I just want to see him go down and be able to, you know, are you aware that, you know, one of your...

1:32:03🔗 Adam He's created his own little hell for himself. But Jim, here's the thing with you and...

1:32:07🔗 Drew Jim, your boyfriend and this guy have got more going on than you're willing to admit.

1:32:11🔗 Adam I don't know about that.

1:32:12🔗 Drew But something. I don't know that it's necessarily a relationship. Something's up with this guy.

1:32:16🔗 Adam Something's up. So here's the thing, Jim. I don't know what to say other than I think there's more here.

1:32:23🔗 Drew Just don't trust your instincts. Don't believe what these guys are telling you.

1:32:26🔗 Adam You solely hating the roommate is probably not the greatest direction to go.

1:32:30🔗 Drew And splitting behaviors are unhealthy. So there's something going on here. There's lots of things your boyfriend's not telling you. That's the only thing I know for sure.

1:32:38🔗 Adam Try to get the sex back going. Do not get pregnant. Do not get married.

1:32:42🔗 Drew There you go.

1:32:42🔗 Adam We'll take a break.

1:32:43🔗 Adam We'll be back.

1:33:16🔗 Adam Well, everybody, that's the show, that's the week. I want to give some thanks, but thanks are due. I want to thank producer Ann for doing a great job all week.

1:33:24🔗 Adam I want to thank Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, Junior, You took some out, don't forget. Junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, junior, producer, Lauren for doing a fantabulous job.

1:33:48🔗 Adam I want to thank, thank engineer Michelle for being so candid on air, so fresh, so unfeminine, doing a fantastic job for us. And of course, engineer Chris, and then engineer What's-his-nose on Thursday or Sunday. We have too many people working on this show. None of them are working hard, just everyone putting in 45 minutes here, 10 minutes there. I want to thank phone screener Patricia. She is our newest star in a galaxy of Loveline stars. Big fan of this young lady, big fan. Not a big gal, but I'm a big fan. So.

1:34:24🔗 Drew And Anderson.

1:34:25🔗 Adam Oh yeah, engineer Anderson. I'm gonna call you, buddy. You're damn right I'm gonna call you.

1:34:29🔗 Caller You're a dick.

1:34:30🔗 Adam Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:35🔗 Adam Jill. Yes.

1:34:36🔗 Adam You're married to Cartman, who's filled with sawdust and horse hair.

1:34:40🔗 Adam Sweet. This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold.

1:34:57🔗 Adam Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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