1:20🔗
Hey, everybody.
1:21🔗
Adam
Ooh, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, Addiction Medicine Specialist. Oh, he's not in. Phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191. Dr. Drew is in New York City tonight. Why? Because somebody dropped a nickel. That's right. He's over there doing something. Spokesman for something like some sort of vaginal lube or water-soluble ass butter or something that's going, something with the hindquarters or the sausage or the vag. That's what he's there for. But he's over there endorsing something. We'll find out what that is whenever he gets on the phone. He's out at Westwood 1 CBS in Manhattan tonight. I'm here in Los Angeles holding down the fort. I got things to talk about with you kids. I was going to talk about them with Drew. I'm guessing Drew is going to get on the phone. They'll work it out. Let me go to the phones. Ashley. Ashley.
2:28🔗
Hello.
2:31🔗
Oh, nothing. Just, you know, just telling how to tell my mother and father. I'm a lesbian. Yeah.
2:40🔗
Yes, 100 percent.
2:43🔗
No.
2:47🔗
Oh, about five.
2:51🔗
About, yeah, five.
2:53🔗
Adam
Okay. Here's the thing with you women. When you talk about how many guys you've been with or how many women you've been with, don't give me that like, I don't know, somewhere about, I don't know, 10, nine or 10. You guys know exactly how many people you've been with. You usually write it down. There's usually a list. I don't know why you guys keep that list because eventually your husband finds the list. The thing unfolds like an accordion, and drops onto the ground, and you see every single, it's like the Chinese phone book in there. It's like 700,000 names on this list. So is it five?
3:40🔗
Adam
They don't even know it. But couldn't you introduce her to your parents just as your friend?
3:49🔗
Adam
Now, couldn't you introduce her as your friend? What would be frightening about that? Like, I would introduce my friends to my parents, and they wouldn't think I was blowing them.
3:59🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, I would be, you know, I'm just scared to tell them. And, you know, because if you have little hints, it's like, you know, they tell me, you better not be a lesbian.
4:19🔗
Adam
Okay. This is perfect. See, and by the way, here's how it works. If Drew doesn't fall off the line, our first call is completely coherent, energetic, and has big jugs. If Drew leaves, then I have to just end up just swinging, like trying to catch a fart in a butterfly net. That was, is she talking to me, I guess is my question. Like if you're just sitting at home listening to this, do you think Ashley is speaking to me or that I'm speaking to her? This just sounds like we took two random conversations and spliced them together. Doesn't even seem like she knows who she's talking to. Ashley.
4:59🔗
Adam
Okay. So for the eighth time, why don't you just introduce your girlfriend to your family as a friend of yours?
5:37🔗
Adam
Okay. So, and do your parents, will your parents freak out if they find out you're a lesbian?
6:26🔗
Adam
All right. Well, look, here's the thing. You know, we talk to women. Anyone we ever talk to who wants to announce any kind of truth to their parents, it's always payback time. And that's why we say, don't do it. It's just payback. Don't do it. But now I'm starting to think, well, your mom, you beat the crap out of your kid for 15 years, maybe deserve a little payback.
6:55🔗
Adam
See, here's the thing, Ashley. The whole payback thing is is cool when you're out of the house. Like, you know, that's what I do with my family. I just pull up my fancy car, I light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and I laugh at the piles of junk they drive. And then me and my hookers leave and I do a nice big rail of coke. And I just laugh maniacally as I get my sports car and Brody on my dad's lawn. But when you're living at home, they pay you back. I mean, it's sort of like if you like, everyone wants to hawk a loogie on the warden, but not while you're in the prison. If you got to be in the prison for a few more years, you don't want to hawk a loogie on the shoot, a snot rocket on the what's Drew call it?
7:41🔗
Adam
You don't want to shoot a snot shot on the warden if you have two more years to do in the joint because those two more years are going to be miserable. Oh yeah. Do wait till you leave. Okay so Ashley, listen to me.
7:53🔗
Adam
When you get out of the house, when you get a job, when you get an apartment, then you tell your parents you're a lesbian. Not before then. Alright, repeat that to me.
8:13🔗
Adam
Alright, fantastic. And then you don't even know if you're an actual lesbian or you're just trying to piss your mom off. Alright, let's talk to... Jeremy.
8:27🔗
Yeah.
8:30🔗
Well, I guess you could say I'm kind of losing my sex drive with my girlfriend.
8:39🔗
Year, year and a half, maybe less, maybe more.
8:42🔗
Adam
Alright, you're very vague about that. And you don't know if it's a year or a year and a half?
8:49🔗
It's pretty close to a year and a half.
8:51🔗
Adam
Pretty close to a year and a half. And when did you... Do you attribute this to anything? Did she pack on some weight? Did you start, I don't know, slamming heroin? Is there something going on?
9:04🔗
Well, we are kind of intimate at least four times a week.
9:10🔗
Adam
Oh, that's pretty good. That's more... That's a good year for engineer Chris. And that's with himself. Yeah, jeez. Yeah. That's pretty good, man. That's damn good. So what's the problem? You got four days a week. What were you at before?
9:25🔗
Nothing. She was my first.
9:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. But what was the cadence that you guys were at sexually before you slid down to four times a week?
9:35🔗
We just pretty much went four times a week as soon as we started.
9:43🔗
Yes.
9:49🔗
All right.
9:54🔗
Yeah, it looks like they haven't lost interest.
9:56🔗
Adam
Well, they've had sex four days a week the first week. And now on week 75, four days a week. So how is it that you're losing interest when you're doing it exactly the same amount as you ever were?
10:09🔗
Well, she wants it.
10:17🔗
But really forcing me?
10:22🔗
Yeah.
10:22🔗
I am, but I ain't.
10:24🔗
All right.
10:27🔗
Okay.
10:33🔗
Adam
Now break up. Now here's the thing, Drew, are you there? All right. Well, let's at least hear some virtual, Drew, by the way. But if you're with somebody for a year and a half and you're 19 years old and you met them when you were 17 or 18 and you just ain't that into them, they ain't flipping your cookie anymore, it's time to break up. That's not like you guys have been together and you had three kids and she caught you having an affair and there's some turbulence in the relationship. No, you're 19 and you're tired of humping somebody. That's God telling you it's time to pull out, pack up and move on. All right, Anderson? Now Anderson's probably trying to get Drew on the line. Drew's out in New York City again. Why engineer, Chris?
11:23🔗
Adam
That's right. When I tell Drew you said that, that is very, very disrespectful. Oh, he's not going to be happy to hear that. Mikell?
11:39🔗
Caller
Oh, well, nothing much. First off, I want to say, hey, what's up, and how's your world today?
11:53🔗
Caller
And the thing with me is, well, I'm gay, and I haven't told anyone. And I don't want to seem trite and give you another gay call tonight, but you know, whatever.
12:05🔗
Liar! Liar whore!
12:20🔗
Caller
Once. But that was because I was with somebody else. The people, you know what I mean? Yeah. I really don't have the word to describe it. No.
12:30🔗
Adam
All right. That was an interesting way of answering the question. It's like once because one time I was, hey, what does that mean? You got caught doing something with somebody? What is that?
12:46🔗
Yeah.
12:46🔗
Yeah.
13:32🔗
Caller
Yeah, because I have some friends and I know they will be completely cool with it because they're like, I hang out with a little tolerant artist crowd in my school. And then I have some that I know will be completely against it and I will lose the level of comfort that I have with them now. And.
13:48🔗
Adam
All right. Well, let me give you this same advice I gave to my young Latin lesbian princess who I spoke to 10 minutes ago. Dropping bombs on your parents when you're living at home.
14:02🔗
Caller
I don't really want to tell my parents because that seems like something that doesn't want to come up.
14:06🔗
Adam
I understand that. And that's a healthy impulse. And I know you don't want to tell your parents, but I'm using that as an example, a metaphor, which is telling your parents is a bad idea because you're still living at home. And telling your friends is tough when you're still in school because high school is its own mini society. And sometimes people aren't as open-minded as they could be. There's a lot of 16, 17, 18-year-old guys who would take that information and use it against you. And so my feeling is, and I know Drew would say the same, if he wasn't doing what in New York, Engineer Chris? Picking up that nickel. That's right. If he was not in New York, picking up that nickel for that water-soluble ass loop, he would tell you the same thing I'm about to tell you, which is you can keep it under your hat until you get out of high school, because this could backfire on you. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what you're feeling or the way you are, or even the impulse to say it. I'm just saying the upside is you feel comfortable in front of a couple close friends. But the possible downside is possible ass-kicking, being ostracized. Just, it's not a great idea to drop this kind of bomb in high school. So I would just keep this one under my hat for about another year and a half until I graduated. Then you go to some progressive hippie college up north where if you're not gay, you're actually suspended. That's right. Oh yes, they have them. Anderson, you are still working hard to find Drew on the other line? All right. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it's just me and the kiddies tonight. Although a little virtual Drew every once in a while, like the Drew Boogie or the Drew Shuffle. Be nice.
16:08🔗
Adam
That's a little sampling, a little Hickory Farms sampling platter of Dr. Drew. Let's see. Friends know he's gay. Anna.
16:26🔗
Caller
Okay. I masturbate a lot. Like, well, I did a couple weeks ago. This past week, though, I was just menstruating, so I wasn't. But for like two weeks, I masturbated every day. And mostly twice a day.
16:47🔗
Adam
And I went once in the morning, once in the evening. What's your technique? How do you break it down?
17:04🔗
Mm hmm.
17:24🔗
Caller
All right. Okay. Well, I exercise like every other day. And the period of time where I am vibing it every day of the week, my exercising level seems a lot lower. Like, I don't seem to be as energized as usual, and I just seem to get tired quicker. But then, like, the week where I'm not doing that, I'm actually doing really well exercising, and my energy level is really high, and, like, my heart rate is, you know, stronger and everything. So I just want to know if there's the sex drive hormone and, like, an exercise drive hormone or something like that go hand in hand, that it's like you release your sex drive hormone.
18:09🔗
Adam
Now, I mean, look, I'm no Dr. Drew, but we did basically discuss this for males last week when we had some of the guys from The Contender in here. By the way, great fight tonight on The Contender. Talking about that sort of wives' tale, or at least something close to wives' tale, that, you know, it's supposed to sort of save your chi for your energy and all that stuff. And we've never even heard it brought up with a female. I mean, I suppose almost any physical activity or physical release would slow you down a little bit. I mean, maybe no different than if you'd, you know, I don't know, burned a few calories, you know, I don't know, gardening or something the day before you worked out. I mean, how, how many calories you burning with that vibrator?
19:08🔗
Caller
Okay, in the morning, since I like got to sleep or whatever, it doesn't take that long in the morning. But at night, it does take a lot longer. I'd say like in the morning, it takes like 10 minutes, maybe, maybe. And then at night, it'll take like half hour. It'll just take forever. And like, but then I thought, I'm just wondering, like, should I just stop doing it?
19:32🔗
Adam
Well, here's the other thing too. All right, let me explain something too. And I'll tell you probably how it works. Drew, yes.
19:54🔗
Drew
But all that stuff is sort of obsessive-compulsiveness, right? She's obsessively exercising, she's obsessively masturbating.
20:04🔗
Drew
So I wouldn't call that obsessive. But she's doing it to try to obviate the need to masturbate, is that right?
20:21🔗
Drew
Well, here's the old exercise. Exercise can actually increase your tendency to masturbate by raising testosterone levels. So that's particularly if you're doing resistance training. So if you do exercise, what? She wants to know.
20:48🔗
Drew
I've been yelling to this mic for 20 minutes at the things you were saying, and now I have my chance.
20:58🔗
Adam
Here's her situa- Here's the situation. She exercises every other day, and has somehow put some pattern together that on the days she masturbates, she has no energy to work out. Now here is what I'm going to float. I'm going to say there's no actual real connection here. I'm going to say she had a bad workout. Like, you know, okay, and Drew, you know how this works. Sometimes you go to work out, you feel like you have full-blown AIDS. Like, just every weight feels heavier. You can't move. You feel old. You feel slow. And then there are other days we feel energized and great. And then, like a superstitious native, you start connecting things to it. Well, I had a McGriddle sandwich that morning, therefore, this gave me this or this gave me that. I'll guess that she masturbated maybe once, maybe twice, and had a couple of bad workouts just because nothing to do with masturbation. That was her rhythm. Then, from that time on, made the equation between masturbating and bad workouts and had a self-fulfilling prophecy.
21:59🔗
Drew
I think it's a reasonable idea to float, and I know it hurts you deeply to in any way question someone's masturbatory habits. But this business of taking a half hour on the second time at night, taking forever and yet still having to get there, what is she's up to? Why she's having to use masturbation so compulsively? That's where I got the compulsive thing. Then she was sort of saying, what I thought I heard her say was she was exercising. She was hoping to exercise and reduce the masturbatory habit.
22:26🔗
Adam
I don't think that's what we can ask her. Some people use sex as a weapon, Drew. I use beating off as a weapon.
22:51🔗
Drew
Yeah. It can make it... Well, did you go up or down with your sex drive when you went on the Evra? That the pill?
23:00🔗
Caller
Yeah, the patch. I went up. And also, like, I had a question about ortho-Evra. I'm on antibiotics as well. But I was told that that doesn't interfere because it goes through a different system.
23:11🔗
Drew
Right, because the oral pill is the one that goes through the liver. The one that goes through the skin doesn't pass through the liver. But Adam, you know how these things go. There's got to be some trauma stuff.
23:23🔗
Caller
Hmm? About my childhood? I don't know. I was always I just I was realizing this like a like just this year. When I was really young, I did the same thing. I well, I didn't like use a vibrator, but I didn't masturbate when I was really young. And I didn't know it like, right?
23:41🔗
Drew
Well, so that usually is oftentimes that's a sign that there's a lot of chaos in your home. So is there chaos in the home?
23:48🔗
Caller
Well, I never got abused. I never got hit. I grew up. My parents got divorced when I was four. My dad, he's always there. He still is. But my dad, the reason I got divorced, my dad was an alcoholic.
24:00🔗
Drew
All right. So that's that's the kind of that is a very, very. We see that all the time in the children, not all the time, but frequently when somebody is a bad addict or alcoholic, we will hear reports from the schools that the children of our patients, the ones who are in treatment, are starting to expose themselves in class, starting to masturbate, and they don't know what they're doing. It's just a way of trying to control their affect, their feelings. They start self-stimulating. And that's what this is all about.
24:24🔗
Adam
Her question about not having energy is sort of neither here nor there. Right, right. Maybe a little therapy for dad being an alcohol. No, alcohol, maybe she should go to Al-Anon or something. Her dad was an alcoholic.
24:35🔗
Drew
Wouldn't hurt, but if she has stable relationships, she's able to be happy, doesn't have any major symptoms. Go ahead and cut down. Go ahead. It's all right.
24:42🔗
Adam
On masturbation. No, you can do that too. But Drew, if somebody grew up and their father was an alcoholic, wouldn't you just suggest they go to Al-Anon?
24:50🔗
Drew
It's always a great idea. It's of course a great idea, but what motivates them to go if they're not having symptoms, if they're having stable relationships, they're not, you know, in fact, she should probably choose an alcoholic to get involved with, and then she needs to go to Al-Anon.
25:00🔗
Adam
All right. Well, better yet, this whole call reminded me of a good idea, which is Duracell or EverReady or Energizer, just start coming out with a line of batteries specifically made for vibrators.
25:14🔗
Adam
They always use the flashlight. And by the way, when I see that flashlight, you know, it's a long, cylindrical shape, a big knob on the end. I know what they're talking about.
25:28🔗
Adam
I know what that is. But the point is, is I feel like if you came out with a vibrator battery, you could really make some money in this country because it's a brand. Here would be the vibrator battery. It doesn't, it doesn't peak and it doesn't drop off. It's just an even flow because you put the vibrator batteries in and the thing goes sick for like 20 minutes, you know? I mean, you chip a tooth, you could tear a perineum, and then could poke out your ass. I've had ones get away from me and I can't get them again.
26:01🔗
Adam
They run away. They're running across, I dive, they squirt out from between my outstretched arms. This one just same, here's the deal. The same, same brand new, it gives out the same power as it does 10 seconds before it burns out. And it lasts longer. Nice even flow, huh? No spikes. All right, Drew over there in New York City tonight, me out here in Los Angeles. We'll take a quick break. When we come back, Jordan is dating a girl in the Israeli army.
26:34🔗
Adam
I don't know, she likes it rough. Oh, well, we'll take a quick break and we'll talk to Jordan after this.
26:43🔗
1-800-LOVE-191.
26:46🔗
Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
26:49🔗
We'll be right back.
27:14🔗
Drew
And I have a strange sort of wistful, almost depressed feeling walking around here, because I was walking around by myself, and you were with me last time I was here. I'm actually missing you. I'm missing you.
27:36🔗
Adam
Where you end up on the set of the CBS Evening News, getting yourself some crappy coffee.
27:41🔗
Drew
Well, we talked about all those huge bundles of wires. That's exactly where I got that kind of wistful feeling.
28:00🔗
Adam
I got a couple of things to say. I went to the Costco yesterday and dropped $2,000 on nothing, by the way. I don't even know what I bought. About like a 55-gallon drum of sunflower seeds and just 7,000 diapers. I don't even know why.
28:21🔗
Adam
No, but you can't go up and down an aisle there without seeing something that seems like a good idea to buy. And at the end- There's nothing worse because I was with my buddy and he's like, how much do you think you spent? I was like, 876, 870, no, 877, 878, 878.29 is like 2,042. Oh, Christ. Wow. That's brutal. So, but here's the thing. And I realize, because I actually went shopping yesterday and I went to the mall today. You know what the cool part about the mall is? At the mall, at the end of the mall, they have that one section where men just sit there waiting to die. It's like a couple of chairs in a half circle. It's like an encounter group. And there's a bunch of guys just sitting there that look like- If you could read the bubble over their head, it would just say, please, dear God, somebody kill me. Please, let a lighting fixture fall off the top of this godforsaken tomb of the damned, and just crush me where I sit. See, this is the place that guys hang out when they've run out of steam and the old lady wants to keep going. And so there's this weird sort of circle. It's like, they have like eight chairs, eight upholstered chairs, sort of in a semi-circle, and one coffee table in the middle. It's right in the front. It's right the mouth of the Bloomingdale's. And it's just a bunch of old guys sitting there just staring at the ceiling with drool pouring out of them.
29:52🔗
Adam
They're the ones that are old, and then there's the ones that are young and haggard, just beaten down. They're just sitting there.
30:04🔗
Drew
My sons come with me and sit there. They feel old. Seriously, they're like, oh, I think I'm gonna die.
30:11🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. It's funny. And it's so, I swear, I'm gonna make myself a note. There's a comedy bit and just going over there and interviewing those guys and finding out what is up. It's Sunday.
30:23🔗
Adam
That's right. Yeah. I saw them in North Hollywood. They saw them? Yeah, it was funny. It's one of those things where it's like, hey, Drew's gonna be here in 20 minutes. And it was like, well, what are you gonna do? It was unbelievable. But I always thought people get really enthusiastic. Drew's showing up. Oh, they mean the guy I see 30 hours a week.
30:45🔗
Adam
The guy I see more in my own reflection. The guy I see more than the top of my masturbatory hand. That guy's gonna be here in 20 minutes. Let me freshen up. I'm gonna douche real quick. I know. She seemed nice.
31:01🔗
Adam
But though all blonde chicks in their 30s in television seem like they have eating disorders.
31:10🔗
Adam
She's a delight. But anyway, we saw, ran into them, but we missed the elusive and great Drew. So let me just say this.
31:18🔗
Drew
You and I are living in North Hollywood now, living and working in North Hollywood all the time.
31:23🔗
Adam
My hometown, no home. So here's the thing. So anyway, I'm at the Costco and the place is a zoo and there's cars circling the parking lot like buzzards looking for a space, you know? And then you get into that thing where somebody pushes their cart up and they're unloading into your car, into their car. And it's like, oh, here's a space. So you stop, you put your signal on, you're like, I'm going to get into this, this place. Now I'm always very cognitive of this as a shopper. When I see a car waiting, I'm just chucking stuff into my car, starting it up with the door still open and burning out in reverse. It's like, it's like an old LeMans start for me. I'm running, diving into the car through the window, like one of the Duke boys.
32:10🔗
Adam
Can't follow right this. Don't worry about me. Yeah. There's the, yeah. So if I'm just dropping stuff off at the car and I got to go back in or something, I immediately give them the wave off. Go, go take off. But if not, I'm throwing cars, I'm throwing junk in there like, like I'm ripping it off. And then peeling out in reverse.
32:31🔗
Adam
I'm always amazed at the people that have zero idea of what's going on, even though they probably did the same thing to get their parking space an hour earlier.
32:44🔗
Adam
Let me tell you what this C did on, on Saturday. She had about four items. And by the way, I love the people. I saw a guy leaving Costco, just holding a watermelon. And walking out to his car like, hey, at the store, the watermelon is 22 cents a pound. Over Costco, it's 17 cents a pound. You just killed the entire Saturday. You save 86 cents. Like, I like the guys who go in there to buy. Hey, what am I? What are you getting? I'm getting a pack of smokes and some orbit. Like, what? You mean you're getting a palette, a palette load of eat? No, no, just one. I'm just gonna get a watermelon and one banana. Like, you spent two hours parking to get a watermelon? There are people that are so exquisitely cheap that they buy like one thing there. But anyway, this chick for some reason had like five items. And so she pulls the car up and there's actually two cars waiting to turn in. There's me and there's another car. We both have our signals on and we're both coming from different directions. And she first off puts the things in the car like she's stalling and trying to think of a plan to escape, you know? It's like what you would do if you're going real, if you're making a prison escape movie, you know? Just super, the warden was watching, you're going really slow. Then she does something I've never seen before. She shuts the driver's side door, holds the alarm up in the air and hits the alarm on the car, which then made me think, okay, she's moving on now. I wish she'd signaled me, but she's moving on. She then proceeds to take her shopping cart, walk it around in front of her car, not put it back in the shopping cart corral, but just walk it in front of the car, about four feet, still just next to the bumper, drop the cart off, walk back to the car again, which so far she's only moved five feet, hit the alarm again, unlock the car, open the door a second time, and then get in the car, and then count to like 28 Mississippi, and slowly back out. Now what is that?
34:54🔗
Adam
What is that? And how come there's not guys just walking around going, let's move it fat ass, let's go, let's go. By the way, in what universe do you shut your car, hit the alarm, and then not get any further than your front bumper before you walk back to your car again?
35:12🔗
Adam
I know, and what is it? There's cars circling everywhere, there's two cars waiting for a spot, both with the signal on, clear plane view, everything, no situational recognition at all, no situational awareness at all. That kind of stuff drives me nuts.
35:32🔗
Adam
Well, here's my thing, Drew. Here's my thing. You would like to go up and sock them in the ass because they do know you're waiting and their attitude is F you. I would like to go up and sock them in the ass because I don't think they think anyone on the planet exists other than them. I don't think they see you.
36:04🔗
Adam
That's really heavy. One watermelon. One watermelon. Walked out of a place with one watermelon.
36:14🔗
Adam
All right. And here's all I'm saying. Can we can we do some sort of educational campaign, just some signs posted on the lights, you know, that say people are waiting for your space, moving along. How about the a-hole gets in the car, has to make himself an important cell phone call, strap in like a goddamn test pilot? You know, the guys sit.
36:39🔗
Adam
Yes. I don't even, I get in my car, I'm thrown in reverse, the door isn't even closed yet.
36:47🔗
Yeah.
37:08🔗
What's my dad doing in Israel?
37:16🔗
What's my dad doing in Israel?
37:26🔗
Caller
Yeah, I'm from Los Angeles. And I've been in Israel for about a year. I'm studying here.
37:47🔗
Drew
All right. What's happening? What's going on? By the way, there probably is a way to listen on the web. I don't know who's broadcasting on the web, but I'm sure somebody is. Go ahead. Go ahead.
37:56🔗
Caller
I don't know. I'm dating this girl who's in the Army. And we've been dating for about a month or so now. And she likes it kind of rough and bad, like in terms of stinking and stuff. And I'm not all that into it. And I just want to know what I should do.
38:31🔗
Caller
If you're a male, you go in from three years, from when you graduate high school until three years later. And if you're a female, you do two years.
38:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. Oh, man. We'd have a better society if we did that here. Not our Army, the Israeli Army. We actually send everyone to Israel.
38:46🔗
Adam
All right. I wonder if there's any weird Palestinian bomber fetishes that go on with Israeli women. You know what I'm talking about?
38:55🔗
Drew
I think it's just, you know, all the violence and aggression can cause, can come out in sex, of course. And if she was sort of hit and knocked around as a kid, that sort of turns into something she needs for arousal in her adult life and sexual life.
39:10🔗
Caller
Well, I don't know. Her dad's like a sergeant in the army, or he was. I'm not sure. And she, she teaches soldiers in the army how to use M-16s and how to sharpshoot. And so she's kind of a tough individual.
39:28🔗
Drew
So people like that need, they need a lot of stimulation to experience arousal. And sort of think of it as if she was knocked around a bit as a kid, her arousal centers get, let's say, burned out. So in order to feel arousal, they have to have high levels of stimulation to feel into it. All right.
39:46🔗
Drew
You go along with it, provided that it doesn't get weird. It doesn't start to diminish the ability to be sexual for you and to feel close to her. If it becomes all about the fetish, all about the aggression, then that's distancing you from her in the relationship. And that's a problem. Do you see the difference? Yeah, it's a hard thing to judge, but if you feel yourself, hey, this isn't sex anymore, this is a beating. And all I'm thinking here is about how hitting this punching bag rather than having a sexual experience with this person, you've lost it, it's gone. And that's bad, that's a fetish. And then that's when you need to sort of get some help.
40:46🔗
Adam
French Riviera, yeah, it's too hot, too hot in Vegas. I see myself on the French Riviera, white dinner jacket.
40:53🔗
Adam
Using my name, using my last name first. Name's Corolla, Ace Corolla, you know what I'm saying?
41:19🔗
Adam
I don't know, I think you just dive back in the water. But here's the whole thing. I don't think kids really even know Marco Polo is.
41:29🔗
Adam
No. No, they know. They don't know about some guy opening the spice route or something. They just know about a guy. Either probably think Marco Polo was a great inventor of swimming pools or something. Right. He invented the slide, the wet slide. Here's my point.
42:01🔗
Yeah.
42:05🔗
All right.
42:06🔗
Adam
Let's take a little break. We'll be right back. And when we get back, we'll speak to someone who had a little condom mishap after this.
42:22🔗
So get your problems ready. Ready.
42:53🔗
Drew
Yes, I'm in New York City, and the clearest thing I've ever heard Chris say was when he rang in on my behalf about what I was doing in New York to pick up because someone dropped a nickel. I've never heard him string so many words together before on the radio. I was shocked, appalled, delighted, happy for him.
43:11🔗
Adam
Yeah, well, I know you must have mixed feelings about it. The thing about engineer Chris, we've been here for a couple of years, and he's basically like if he was a dog and he said, look what I taught my dog to do. Watch him, watch him, watch him. Whatever his command, he'll start talking. And the dog just start humping the guy's life.
43:32🔗
Adam
Well, you just said that like two minutes before, you know, like, I know, but we've heard this a few times and it doesn't normally work out, but I was delighted tonight that you knew exactly why. Chris turned Chris up and appalled. And we'll just try it one more time very quickly. And Dr. Drew is in New York. Why, engineer Chris?
44:00🔗
Adam
Chris, turn yourself up. All right, now turn yourself down. I know we said we're going to talk about a condom call, but now I want to talk to Crystal. She's 19.
44:30🔗
Caller
It really doesn't matter because we're both interested in both parties. It doesn't matter.
44:34🔗
Adam
What? Well, nothing is, you know, nothing usually doesn't really matter. I mean, I know that sounded a little bumpy, but what I mean is, is even if it's 60, 40, your boyfriend probably has a preference. Which is it?
44:58🔗
Drew
Girl. All right. So there you go. So really is it maybe, is this just, first of all, it's a great way to sabotage a relationship. Yeah. Secondly, it makes me wonder if it, what?
45:09🔗
Cause he listens to you all the time.
45:17🔗
Adam
By the way, speaking of bi, bye bye bye, the way I like this ploy. You know, I'm going to try this one.
45:26🔗
Adam
Yeah. Like I'm bi. You're bi. Oh, we're both bi. All right. We should bring somebody into the bedroom. What guy or girl? It doesn't matter to me. Let's just start with a girl and see how it goes. And then like 22 chicks later, I'm bi.
45:44🔗
Adam
Maybe we should bring a 23rd chick. No, no, we could bring some shlong in. That'd be cool, but I'm just saying, I'm bi. Maybe I'll get a chicken.
45:51🔗
Drew
The guy's just having threesomes all the time. And for her, and you could put it back on her too. I know you're bi too, and well, the shlong's here with me, and I want you to be happy and be able to act out your biness.
46:03🔗
Drew
It's a ridiculous thing, but I have to wonder, for some reason, when you just, again, I'm just sort of responding to you. What's her name?
46:11🔗
Drew
Crystal. That's probably what I'm responding to, I think, by the way. You sure you're not lesbian, and this is just sort of a safe way to do that?
46:21🔗
Adam
How dare you. All right, well look, here's the deal, Crystal. You're bi, he's bi, both of you probably were hit by your stepdad or something happened to you. That's fine, there's chaos all over the place. Do whatever you want. Have your fun. You're saying that-
46:42🔗
Drew
You're announcing that. But you've announced that by saying we're bi. Therefore, it's bye bye to this relationship so we can act out with other people.
46:49🔗
Adam
Right. So here's the deal. Don't get pregnant and then say bye bye sometime around August or September. But here's the other deal. If you guys are in fact serious about this relationship, then A, no third person and B, no proclamation that you're bi anymore. You're not bi, you're with this person and you're into whatever they are.
47:11🔗
Drew
Right. And if it happens to be a guy and you're a girl, you're now heterosexual for the time being.
47:14🔗
Adam
That's right. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. It's like when I announce I'm a rambling man to my wife every other day.
48:04🔗
Adam
I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1-er. Dr. Drew is in New York City. Why, Engineer Chris?
48:15🔗
Adam
That's right. Always funny. Engineer Chris, I told him, well, I announced to the world, and you heard it here first, that I want to replace the kids' pool game, Marco Polo, with Adam Corolla. You know, again, an Italian last name, but a little more contemporary. It's something that kids can identify with.
48:50🔗
Adam
No, here's what I'm saying. Oprah has a magazine. It's not called Marco Polo. It's not called Polo. You know what I'm saying?
49:07🔗
Adam
Larry King. The Larry King Show. You think his real name is Marco Polo and he calls it the Larry King Show or you think his name's Larry King?
49:17🔗
Adam
I'm just saying, I'm not asking to put my name on a car. You know what I'm saying? I just want to I just want a kids game. Let's try it. Let's try it.
50:47🔗
Adam
I know it's bumpy, but I'm, you know, and maybe I just heard it first, but I've really grown attached to Adam's masturbating in the jacuzzi.
51:03🔗
Caller
Well, first I wanted to tell you, they did a survey about parking spaces. And when someone's waiting for your space, the average time that the person takes to back up goes out, goes up.
51:19🔗
Caller
Right. You're the only ones that know. But most people, when they know someone's waiting, they take their time. Why?
51:28🔗
Adam
It's weird. Like, I couldn't think of a more uncomfortable position to be in. Right. Than have somebody waiting on me. It bothers me. If I go to the supermarket and I was going to pay with a check but somebody pulls in behind me, I'll just pay with cash.
51:46🔗
Adam
Right. Or if I have three items and, you know, this guy's got three items behind me, I got a cart full of crap, I'll always just let him go in front of me.
51:53🔗
I think this is something different, though, guys.
51:57🔗
Adam
It's not because we're nice either. It's just because I can't... I don't want the attention. I don't want someone staring at me waiting for me to do something.
52:03🔗
But it's like the whole impulse of I have something you want and you can't have it just yet.
52:08🔗
Adam
Yeah. I will be profoundly disappointed in how evil humanity is, if that's true. Like, I always think of people as super out of it and sort of narcissistic, but out of it. I don't look at them as intentionally evil. I just look at them as out of it and stupid. They still need to be eliminated. Don't get me wrong. But I never look at it as volitional.
52:30🔗
Caller
I think it's the weaker Fs in society too. I see it happen all the time and I think it's because they're not in a position like that very often and they relish it.
52:46🔗
Caller
Okay. So you were talking to the girl earlier who she said she masturbated when she was young and she had this alcoholic family. But I seem to be attracted to those alcoholic guys all the time. But I had a total normal family life.
53:03🔗
Caller
I mean, my dad was kind of, he traveled a lot for his work. So, you know, I know Adam always talks about that, like, pay attention to your kids and all that.
53:15🔗
Caller
No, I'm the youngest and all my other siblings are totally normal and two degrees and all that. And I seem to be the one that's just like chaos.
53:23🔗
Drew
Well, hang on now. Let's examine what you're doing here. Are you just, are you sort of in, how old are you?
53:30🔗
Drew
Are you sort of into the bad guys or are you specifically attracted to alcoholic addicts?
53:37🔗
Drew
I know, but some, very often the bad guys, the sort of dangerous guys that you want to try to tame and all that stuff.
53:42🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, even when people fix me up with someone, they end up being alcoholics. It's the weirdest thing.
54:11🔗
Adam
Oh, you got to go from pool to pool to pool, getting the Adam Corolla replaced with the Marco Polo.
54:23🔗
Drew
Well, I don't quite know. You know, there's sometimes you may have in your family someone who isn't alcoholic but doesn't manifest disease. And alcoholics are sort of a unique biological makeup. And as a result, you may just be feel very attached to people that have that kind of feeling about them. That's about the best way I can describe it. So, you're not attracted to the disease so much as the kind of person that is prone to developing the disease.
54:48🔗
Caller
I mean, my dad, we don't have the best relationship. It was always like, you got a B, what about that B? Instead of, great, you got all A's except for that B, you know what I mean?
55:07🔗
Drew
And at least that's the way you experience it. Who knows how he experienced it. But I've just been defending the dads here for a second.
55:23🔗
Drew
It may be something to look into because then maybe that would give a probability that that sort of genetic quality has been passed down into your dad even though the disease has not.
55:34🔗
Drew
Right, and that's the other thing. Just go ahead and kind of avoid that. If you find that very, very attractive, know that maybe that's not such a healthy thing and find guys that are sort of less powerfully attractive to you.
55:42🔗
Adam
Let me tell you what engineer Chris found on the internet about Marco Polo. And by the way, this is anything he ever needed to know about the Great Explorers, all contained in this sentence or this paragraph here. Marco Polo was a great explorer. He was very brave. Marco was not scared at all when they left to go on the trip. He was also very determined. When people would not believe his stories of his discoveries, he was determined to make them believe him, period. Marco Polo was very courageous, too. He wasn't scared of the people in the different countries he visited. Marco Polo was a very brave, determined, and courageous explorer.
56:28🔗
Adam
I know. What is engineer Chris' batting average on pulling up this stuff that has... I actually know less about Marco Polo now. Do you understand that when engineer Chris pulls something on the internet and hands it to you, whether it's...
56:50🔗
Adam
Not really. He told us crows and magpies were the same bird after he looked in the computer.
56:55🔗
Drew
But he actually printed some stuff for us that sorted that out. Half of it helped us out.
57:02🔗
Adam
Whether it's an ex-president, a volcano in Fuji or Marco Polo... Fiji, sorry. I actually know less about the topic after I read the first page. I know less about Marco Polo right now. I've actually had Marco Polo information sponged from my brain.
57:23🔗
Adam
More. Now, if I read more about him, I'm just getting back to where I was before I read this first page. I'm actually absent Marco Polo information now. I'm in the hole. You understand?
57:39🔗
Adam
I'm below zero. I'm in negative Marco Polo line. I knew something about him before this page. Now I owe.
57:46🔗
Adam
But anyway, evidently, he wasn't a chicken ass explorer like the ones you always hear about.
58:20🔗
Caller
I do. I have a very odd fetish. I came on by weight gain, but not like in real life. Does that makes any sense?
58:30🔗
Drew
Well, I think this, yeah, that's sort of like you like being filled up kind of thing, right?
58:47🔗
Caller
No. I'm not attracted to people who are heavy or anything. I like it. I kind of like pretend in my head I'll imagine somebody gaining weight and overeating and stuff. But it's all make believe. In real life, it doesn't turn me on.
59:03🔗
Drew
You know how we always talk about how things that are traumatizing become very attractive in adult life? You heard that on our show?
59:10🔗
Drew
Well, one of the things that's rather unusual, but it can happen, and actually to some degree or another it happens to everybody, but to have it carry over into your sort of adult life is unusual, is there's trauma around the relationship with the breast, with breastfeeding and that sort of thing, or the bottle, if that was the bottle. And there's a lot of aggression and tear. When you, for instance, when you eat, when you eat food yourself, what is the most enjoyable part about it? Is the tearing and swallowing more enjoyable or the taste of it? What part of the eating process do you enjoy?
59:49🔗
Drew
Yeah, do you like biting and tearing at things too a little bit? Yeah. That sort of goes a little bit. And now that we're sort of...
1:00:19🔗
Adam
Oh, imagine me just hot summer day. I'm walking down the street and I just hear it echoing from the neighborhood.
1:00:31🔗
Adam
Oh, awesome. Awesome. There's nothing better than the laughter of children. You know what I'm saying?
1:00:38🔗
Drew
But anyway, so this is sort of a remnant of your past. It's not a huge deal. It's something that may or may not sort of have other expressions in your relationships. It's something that you really were interested in. You can get involved. Do you have an anxiety disorder? Do you have a lot of anxiety or panic?
1:01:18🔗
Drew
It's not going to be a big deal. I think it will get integrated into other experiences and that. It's just an interesting observation and it doesn't necessarily have to mean anything gigantic or, you know, the psychoanalyst listening might go, oh my God, this is big pathology. But the reality is it's not always associated with those symptoms. People can have stable relationships and there you go.
1:01:40🔗
Adam
Adam Corolla works every time. All right, so here's the thing. It seems like people can be broken off into two portions of society. One are the folks that question too many things, things that are healthy and normal, they think they're nuts. And then there's everyone else who is doing horrible things and thinks nothing of it.
1:02:04🔗
Adam
Right, so I don't know. The best is to be the third group, which is by far the minority, which is realize it and recognize it when you're actually up to something that's destructive to you or somebody else, and give yourselves a break when you're just having sort of a normal fantasy.
1:02:22🔗
Drew
Don't paint yourself with a crazy brush. Or not even normal fantasy so much as the human brain, the part of our emotional systems is filled with very bizarre fantasies. We have a weird fantasy life before we have language. And there can be remnants of that. And we have this giant structure that sits on top of that, a cognitive system that we constantly override that fantasy system with, and so we make sense of it. So there you go.
1:02:48🔗
Adam
We had a whole group of people that won some sort of competition that they're now sorry they entered who are here tonight watching them. And one of them actually fell off the chair during that long-winded discussion.
1:03:08🔗
Adam
And they're here tonight to watch a show. Although so far it just means shorts and flip-flops make a retarded masturbation jokes.
1:03:26🔗
Adam
Now they're just there wishing they never showed up. Well, what are you going to do? Let's talk to Ali, who's 16. Ali.
1:03:37🔗
Caller
OK. So last night I had sex and everything was fine. And then when he pulled out and we were done and he was about to get his clothes on, I felt something and I didn't know what it was. And the condom slipped off of him and like the tip of it stayed inside me, inside me.
1:04:11🔗
Right, right.
1:04:12🔗
Drew
That's actually better, that's actually much better than it having slipped off during sort of penetration and the whole thing stayed inside.
1:04:19🔗
Right, right.
1:04:23🔗
Caller
Right, that's what I'm thinking. And, but I'm just kind of paranoid about the fact that what if anything.
1:04:30🔗
Drew
All right, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Right. There's two lessons to be learned here. One is gentlemen, when you have a condom on and you're pulling out, you are supposed to grab it around the base because it could slip out very easily. A. B morning after pill, any question at all, take it now, 85, 90% probability of decreasing the risk of pregnancy. It works by what? Only?
1:04:52🔗
Caller
My only problem is because today, like the clinic's closed, tomorrow I have no way to get it before the clinic closes.
1:05:13🔗
Drew
No, listen, why don't you call, just call this number, 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE, and they will send you to a pharmacy locally where you can get that without a prescription.
1:05:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, you gotta hang on to that condom base. I'll actually use two hands and a heel. I'll actually bring my foot up.
1:05:51🔗
Adam
Yeah. All right, where are we going here, Drew? Let's see. We talked to... Well, let's talk to Jet, who's been on hold for a million years. But Jet... Somebody named Jet called a couple last week, right?
1:06:32🔗
Adam
I remember we played the song last time and I was thinking of Paul McCartney's Jet, which made me seem very old.
1:06:38🔗
Very old.
1:06:46🔗
Caller
Well, I'm just kind of, you know, wanting a little feedback on the whole oral section.
1:06:53🔗
Adam
Drew, please. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But what was the meow part? What am I missing on the meow part?
1:07:05🔗
Adam
I'm sorry. I was confused for a second. I thought you're full human. I didn't know you were actually.
1:07:13🔗
Caller
No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to confuse you. I thought you had the perception that all women had multiple personalities and you were just...
1:07:50🔗
Caller
Well, I'm a little curious about why some... I know it's okay for a guy to go down on a girl, but when a girl swallows, he doesn't want to kiss her or vice versa. What's the whole attraction to, say, your own bodily fluids as opposed to somebody else's, as opposed to...
1:08:27🔗
Drew
So I don't know what she's talking about. I don't know what she's talking about. Some people will just sort of make an extra effort. What is that?
1:08:35🔗
Adam
I'm trying to drain my own spit. I don't even like my own spit. Do you realize what kind of torture this life is for me, Drew?
1:08:45🔗
Drew
Well, you don't like your spit. You can't sleep. You can't breathe through your nose. Adam Corolla.
1:08:50🔗
Adam
That's the only thing that saves me is hearing those kids shout my name in the swimming pool.
1:08:57🔗
Drew
Look, I don't know what she's talking about. I think some people will make the effort and sort of try to ignore these things the way of sort of to be in the moment with their partner.
1:09:39🔗
Adam
Hold on, that happened a long time ago with me and you. This is where the listeners get to evaluate you. I already made my decision five minutes ago.
1:10:13🔗
Adam
Not the range that the ones 10 years ago had? What? The new ones don't have the range that the old ones had.
1:10:22🔗
Drew
I wish I could agree with you on that. Because we bought a bunch of new... You can expand the bases, you know.
1:10:32🔗
Drew
It's got to be something to do with your house, those big thick walls or something. Really? Yeah. Because I think you would get that new house, that new mansion you live in. By the way, I went up there to see the garage and you weren't home. When? Hell. Like Friday, Friday afternoon or something. I came by.
1:10:47🔗
Drew
Well, at least when that could be there. Well, ring the thing. I did. I rang it like 12 times.
1:11:29🔗
Caller
Because I think I did it backwards. I think I intended to kiss the toad and he turned into Prince Charming. And unfortunately, when we kissed, he turned into a toad instead of Prince Charming.
1:11:44🔗
Adam
Oh, so this is a scientific basis for this divorce. I see. He actually turned into a frog. All right. Well, that's fine. I didn't know he had transformed into a frog.
1:11:53🔗
Drew
I need to know more about what you mean. Your parents were out of the home. What were they doing?
1:12:00🔗
Caller
I don't know. I was the youngest of four children. I guess I was kind of sheltered from reality and the truth of everything between mom, dad, brothers and sisters.
1:12:10🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. Stop speaking in riddles. Just tell us exactly what you mean. Why were the parents out of the home? What were they doing?
1:12:32🔗
Drew
How old was the oldest child, say, when you were four years old? Who was the oldest child doing the caretaking?
1:12:40🔗
Drew
So the twelve-year-old was taking care of you when you were four? That's child abuse, basically. You can't do that.
1:12:59🔗
Drew
Yeah. But again, she's so full of BS. I know they said a wonderful example, but it's okay, you guys, to have ambivalent feelings about everything. I remember sometimes I give these presentations at colleges in the first ten minutes. They want to tell me how things should be and how men aren't how women are. No, guys, just talk about how you feel. Yeah. Just tell how you're feeling. How do you feel about those things? How does it make you in the present? Don't tell a fairy tale. Don't talk in riddles and hyperbole. Just how do you feel about what happened? It's all fine. Look at it realistically, honestly.
1:13:31🔗
Adam
Well, the society's just eroded into one big, long BS yarn where everyone says things like, everything happens for a reason. And no one across from them says, shut the F up. You retard. What the hell do you mean by that?
1:13:45🔗
Adam
I can't stand this. You know, you're supposed to kiss a toad and marry a prince. I kissed a prince and got the toad. Oh, fantastic. I know, I know all the dynamics of your relationship. And you know what the problem is, is the person sits across from them and nods their head. Oh, I see you ended up with a toad.
1:14:06🔗
Adam
Everyone with your BS, please drop it. Or use it, but don't bring it here because it infuriates us.
1:14:22🔗
1-800-LOVE-191.
1:14:25🔗
Loveline, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
1:14:48🔗
Drew
And I'm staying at that Rega Royal. I think that's where you were staying last week, right? Two weeks ago. Because I've forgotten how nice those rooms are, and I visited the ass-squirting toilet seat.
1:15:01🔗
Adam
Yeah, I was there like a week ago enjoying the ass-squirting I got, but it was offset by the monster-size hash mark on the white towel. I mean, there was a white towel that had a hash mark on it the size of a human liver.
1:15:20🔗
Adam
And I mean, it was so blatant. Let's just put it this way. If I'd taken the thing down to the front desk and said, yeah, this was very visible in my bedroom, and when I came into my room, I would have gotten a week for free. And it was that bad. As it is, I just stared at the hash mark for three days and went about my business. I'm the best guy to have a check in your hotel or park in the space that you want or any of these things. I'm perfect for all these. I don't say anything. I get the F out of there as fast as I can. That's how I work. Yeah. All right. Where are we, Drew? Husband wants her to stick her finger in the ass.
1:16:13🔗
Caller
Well, me and my husband have been together for like five years and I'm just wondering, is it normal for him for the past, I guess, maybe two months, he's been wanting me to stick my finger up his butt. Also, I have a G-spot vibrator. What's going on? He wants me to put that up his butt too.
1:17:01🔗
Adam
Calling from Bakersfield, that's trouble. What went wrong? Something had to go wrong if you're in Bakersfield. What went wrong? Well, and that would be, and by the way, if I was the mayor of Bakersfield, I would put that on the sign.
1:17:23🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, something obviously has gone wrong. And I would actually have that in the front of every junior college, Joe. It would say, Pierce Junior College, what went wrong? That would be right on the sign, right? Because I would shame people into moving on or graduating.
1:17:40🔗
Adam
All right. Yeah, Bakersfield. What went wrong? Yeah, and then if I had a Riverside one, it'd say Riverside. At least we're not Bakersfield. That would be the one under. All right, but here's the deal. There's a lot of crappy places to live around this area, and I don't know why people number one. All right. And I don't know why you people live there, though. That's my question. Just because that there you go. That's the number one.
1:18:09🔗
Adam
That's the number one answer. It's also the number one answer a dog gives when you ask him why he's lying out in the dirt.
1:18:36🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. First of all, I get the real sense your husband put you up to this call.
1:18:41🔗
Drew
All right. Secondly, there are guys that like that sort of internal stimulation. They are rare, but if he's that guy, he's that guy. Some guys like that. Most guys.
1:18:56🔗
Drew
No, it really doesn't have anything to do with sexual orientation. Has he ever had any gay feelings?
1:19:06🔗
Drew
Oh, fine. Whatever. He likes that stimulated. Some guys like the outside stimulated. I actually did a little piece on this for Discovery Health Channel.
1:19:15🔗
Drew
No, I didn't actually try it, but it makes sense to me that like, okay, that makes sense. But the inside, 95% of guys, no way. But there's a few percent that do like it, and he's one of those guys. So what are you going to do?
1:19:27🔗
Caller
Well, what bothers me is that he'll want it while we're doing it, and then afterwards he says, don't do that anymore. And then while I'm in sex, he'll do it again. I mean, he'll want it again.
1:19:41🔗
Adam
You got kids now. You got to stop doing that. It's got to be, I don't know. That's the only answer I have. It's got to be great for Lord to have this guy come home every day.
1:19:54🔗
Adam
Oh, work. Boy, let me tell you. I went and did this job. Guy went and used, well, first off, he put the old door in with screw shields instead of expansion anchors.
1:20:18🔗
Adam
She's just going to sit there like, oh my Christ. I mean, your husband installing shower doors and shower curtains just sounds like a novelty boring job. It's the punch line. It's the guy.
1:20:34🔗
Adam
It's the guy I sit next to on the airplane. What line you in? Just shower doors, shower curtains.
1:20:41🔗
Drew
By the way, I had like a sort of supermodel type person sit down next to me on an airplane today.
1:20:53🔗
Drew
I know, but it's worse. It's worse. We'll not have a conversation. We'll not like, you know, you're on a plane. You just want to, you know, sleep or whatever. So I'd urge you to not wish for that.
1:21:04🔗
Adam
I'm angry because I've flown to New York and back 150 times. I thought it never sat next to a model.
1:21:15🔗
Adam
First class. And I always thought, I grew up thinking if you fly to New York, if you're flying to Manhattan and you're flying first class on airplane, there's going to be some kind of famous rock star or model or beautiful something never, I don't even get chicks.
1:21:50🔗
Drew
No, no, but I know, but it was somebody clearly, you know, very, very attractive and actually sort of more our age, not, not like somebody in there.
1:22:00🔗
Drew
Right. But still, I thought of you immediately. I thought that, oh, I'm finally getting what Adam always wished for and not, not one word.
1:22:13🔗
Adam
I want to say weird. I would probably be less apt to talk to the attractive woman than I would to the schlubby guy.
1:22:21🔗
Drew
Well you kind of feel like, I feel sorry for him. You know, people are always trying to talk to him. Yeah. It's going to be rough and you're beautiful. But listen, what do you want to do when you come on that plane? It's just you want to put the noise-canceling phones on and just zone out.
1:22:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. But a little howdy-do to your neighbor is always a good idea. Plus, I'll oftentimes eat their warm nuts. Yeah.
1:22:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. He was a brave man who was not scared and oftentimes brave because he wasn't scared. What website do you have? One for like retarded fourth graders? I just Googled it and that's it. I don't want stuff that got translated from crayon.
1:23:12🔗
Adam
All right. Well, stop Googling around. Anne says that Motley Crue may come in here toward the end of the week, but we'll see. I don't have the list. I don't have the list of guests up here just yet. Christine. Yeah. You're 26. Yes. It tickles when your boyfriend drops a finger on you. Yeah.
1:24:05🔗
Adam
It's funny every time. All right. We'll take a break. We'll get back with Christine who laughs every time she is on the business end of a finger blasting.
1:24:16🔗
Adam
And Dr. Drew over there in New York City tonight. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everybody.
1:24:37🔗
Drew
Hey, Adam, I believe that whole diatribe about the online gambling just went out on the air.
1:24:52🔗
Adam
Do a little commercial. And you'd be shocked to find out it was extra wordy. And the writing was second only to the guy who wrote the Marco Polo. All right. I can hear myself in my head echoing 10 seconds later. So Anderson, please help me.
1:25:12🔗
Adam
I'm going to take my headphones off for a second, Drew. Otherwise, I'm going to have an epileptic seizure. Wait a minute.
1:25:27🔗
Adam
All right. So you're tickled, but not tickled pink. Although, in a way you are. When your boyfriend drops a finger on you.
1:25:51🔗
Drew
That whole procedure sort of gets left behind usually when people become sexually active.
1:25:56🔗
Caller
Well, it's like when he goes down on me, it feels okay, but nothing's really orgasmic. And so we're kind of trying everything.
1:26:34🔗
Drew
The spigot, the bath spigot, that what pours out of the spigot. It's kind of position yourself there. That's the producer and patented technique.
1:26:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. I told her, do not operate the toaster that close to the tub. But her thing is, is I'm gonna have a bagel. I don't care if it kills me. It's a Sunday.
1:27:06🔗
Adam
Well, it's funny because she said her last thought was Calgon take her away. But it turned out to be a creeper that actually took her away.
1:27:17🔗
Adam
You can play Marco Polo in the bathtub too. You can masturbate and play play Adam Corolla in the bathtub. All right. So no orgasm through intercourse. No orgasm through oral sex.
1:27:40🔗
Caller
That's that's why I called in because like vibrator same thing. It feels really good to the point where I think I'm going to climax and then it's just ticklish.
1:28:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, that's pretty low dose estrogen. It's some women that's kind of inhibitory. So you might talk to your doctor about that.
1:28:11🔗
Adam
The other thing too is I'm going to go with she was sheltered growing up she said. So there's probably some issues. She's up in her head a little bit. Some women are sort of sensitive and they just, they just, I say stick with a guy, work on it and don't go in with an agenda.
1:29:14🔗
Adam
Whoopie cushions? These are the jock full of nuts and the penis you wind up that hops around?
1:29:29🔗
Caller
No, not that serious. Our most serious item is actually the one I have the question about.
1:29:34🔗
Caller
Okay, well, basically, I'm the assistant manager of this place. The other day, I walked into the restroom of my manager using one of our items. It's... I don't know if you've watched Sex in the City or anything, but it's called the iVibE Rabbit.
1:30:00🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, I lost it on our boss using this. I need to know why, I need to know how I confront her or who I confront about this.
1:30:15🔗
Drew
Especially since you've already been face eyeball to eyeball with her being ashamed and embarrassed that you walked in.
1:30:47🔗
Adam
And listen, here's the thing, everybody. You have no question. That's the first tip off that it's a bogus question.
1:31:00🔗
Adam
All right, I'm going to tell you, you have to go to the corporate office in Battle Creek, Michigan.
1:31:05🔗
Drew
Yeah, and tell the corporate office that you walked in on somebody in the bathroom who was in a private moment wiping themselves in a way that disturbed you. Come on, what are you talking about? It wasn't wiping. That's the point.
1:31:37🔗
Adam
By the way, I know the vagina as the discount bin. That's a euphemism for moving the vagina.
1:31:45🔗
Adam
John, please be more creative next time you come up the bogus call. Please, everybody. Like I said, we know it's bogus.
1:32:08🔗
Adam
You got to do better than that. It's weak. That's all I'm saying. Don't bring that weak crap around here. Brandy?
1:32:17🔗
Adam
And by the way, he had that idiot cadence that always drives me nuts, too. That's what women hate, man. You're upset over your husband's premature ejaculation.
1:32:31🔗
Drew
There's a medicine coming out for this probably within about six or eight months that's going to be pretty effective. It's basically a medicine like Prozac or Zoloft. You know how that tends to delay orgasm and decrease sex drive, but it's ultra short acting. So it's out of your system in like, you know, 10 to an hour or something like that. So it can delay orgasm for a while. And I think that's going to be a very effective treatment.
1:32:55🔗
Adam
Okay. Here's the thing, Brandy, don't be angry at him. He can't help himself. I'm sure he would do something about it if he could. And if it's under a minute, that ain't a concentration thing. That's just a physiological thing. And you should look into this new medicine.
1:33:10🔗
Drew
Or he can try to masturbate several times, sort of clear the pipes out, but then, you know, then he won't orgasm with you, and then you'll be upset about that.
1:33:17🔗
Adam
All right, let's take a little break. Brandy, by the way, way up there in my white trash naming sequence.
1:34:10🔗
Drew
Corolla. And I will be thinking of you when I use that special seat, the bathroom seat.
1:34:15🔗
Adam
Yes, please. Clean, clean with joy. We'll take ourselves a little extendo break, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.
1:34:30🔗
Adam
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