1:26🔗
Adam
That phone number. Wait, one thing they shouldn't forget about, Dr. Drew, still board certified addiction medicine specialist?
1:48🔗
Adam
And I'll tell you, I'll be skiing too, if it's on TiVo, because that is my new alternative life.
2:25🔗
Drew
But Jay Mohr is always a good guest, and it was a pleasure to see him again. And that's how I heard him tonight on The Family Guy, doing a voice of a television executive.
2:36🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, Adam Carolla, it's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LME-191. Julianne Nicholson is here tonight. Jay Mohr, seeing other people, is the name of the movie. Jay Mohr is like some 50s character. He sees everyone in the hall. Hey, kid, looking good. What's your name again, kid?
2:53🔗
Adam
Yeah, here's a quarter, looking good. Keep up the good work. Chris, hey, buddy, nice job on the board. Looking good, looking sharp. All right.
3:08🔗
Best Of
Hey, hey, hey, lauren, cute kid. You're adorable, keep it up. But that's what, I'm nice to people?
3:18🔗
Best Of
Now, how does the pain does not come across? Ask lauren right now and ask Chris if they think I'll be, I pat him on the back and you just walk him by for no reason.
3:25🔗
Adam
You gave him a cracker, you pat him on the head like Benny Hill would do the little ball.
3:29🔗
Best Of
Yeah, you got to be nice to them. They'll rise up. You got to be nice to the Mexicans.
3:33🔗
They'll rise up.
3:40🔗
Oh, my God.
3:42🔗
All right, now look. Hold on, Jay.
3:44🔗
Adam
I want to talk about your panic disorder because Drew... Yeah, I want to let people know that if the Dr. Drews of the world and the Jay Mohrs of the world can have panic disorder...
4:08🔗
Best Of
It's irrational. I was not in any sketches for like the fifth week in a row. And I sat in my dressing room. And Roseanne was the host. And I sat and I positioned my chair in my dressing room so that it was directly under the TV that hangs from the ceiling so that if it fell, I would be killed.
4:26🔗
Best Of
No, I was just most depressed ever. And then as I just, after sketch, after sketch, and like the sketches suck, you know, sometimes. Right. And then I just sat there and I thought, I can't catch my breath. And then all of a sudden I thought, oh my God, I can't catch my breath. And I have to crap and throw up. And everything on the inside of me has to be on the inside of me. And then I have, I'm leaving. Like I'm dying. And I ran all the way to the hospital on Second Avenue.
4:56🔗
Adam
I understand. But my instinct would be he's doing a sketch at the end of the night and the panic attack kicks in.
5:04🔗
Best Of
No, but see that's, I'm in show business. I'm a comic. So that's when everything's working out. That's stimulus response. The stimulus is you hand in a sketch, you're writing.
5:26🔗
Best Of
But panic isn't as bad as, panic is the worst thing in the world because it's so irrational, like nothing causes it.
5:37🔗
Best Of
Someone's pushing it. If you push in on your Adam's apple, it's like that feeling all the time and you have to crap.
5:43🔗
Drew
And then every person somatically feels it differently, but in the brain, it's a discharge. It's completely dysregulated.
5:52🔗
Drew
Imagine you just jumped off the Titanic, middle of the ocean, you're starting to get sucked down.
6:02🔗
Best Of
You're just at a movie watching the screen and all of a sudden, the car's on fire and your seatbelt won't come loose.
6:08🔗
Adam
Well, I've never had one, but I picture it like kind of like Fred Samford when he would say he's coming later.
6:13🔗
Drew
But some people it's that way for me. For me, it felt like I was either having a seizure or going crazy because your mind races out of control. You feel like it's completely...
6:20🔗
Adam
So what is the best move? Let's say you can't get to a hospital. Did you actually went to a hospital?
6:25🔗
Best Of
I ran to the hospital and I always thought I was going to pass out too, which is weird because you don't pass out when your heart races. You pass when it drops. Yeah.
6:31🔗
Drew
People get the feeling they're going to pass out. Well, you can hyperventilate until you pass out.
6:34🔗
Best Of
I ran home and my roommate had Valium and I'd never taken Valium before. I called my dad and mom because my mom's a nurse and my dad doesn't know it all. I said, if I take this Valium, what will happen? My dad's like, let me look it up in the PED. What is it called? PDR. The PDR. It says here it cures anxiety.
6:53🔗
Best Of
I was like, gulp. I just sat in the bathtub for a little while in water that unfortunately was not deep enough to drown me.
7:04🔗
Best Of
No, because I'm a bit of a pillophobe so I didn't want to take something like in case I was allergic to it.
7:11🔗
Best Of
So you took the pallium. I took it and then feeling normal became absolutely euphoric.
7:17🔗
Best Of
And one of the chapters of the book is nothing is as beautiful as having things the way they were.
7:22🔗
Best Of
And just being normal and having normal like fear and pissed off-ness, festivity. And then I went back to the show and I was like just absolutely euphoric and I was telling everyone I had a panic attack.
7:33🔗
Best Of
No, that night. It was like in the middle of a show. And then Sarah Silverman said, Oh, that's a panic attack. You have to go see my doctor, Noel Taylor. She saved my life. Go ahead. And then I left a message and the doctor called me back and said she could see me first thing Monday. So then I only had to get through Sunday. And then she said you just have a real basic panic disorder. How many panic attacks have you had? I said I had about three.
8:03🔗
Best Of
It's this place. But that's appropriate depression. I'm not working at the place. It's situational depression. That's not like I wake up depressed. I'm happy all the time. Julianne Nicholson, best actress of I'm so not.
8:17🔗
Adam
Let me ask this. Do people who have more brain cells to rub together, do they have panic attack more so than I do?
8:29🔗
Drew
We talked about the auto-nomic tone you and I have talked about. I think we've got three engines running high, engines running low.
8:45🔗
Adam
I got the engine from the African Queen. Just kind of chugging and smoke bellowing out, barely moving.
8:57🔗
I have not had a panic attack.
9:03🔗
Yeah, big anxiety.
9:04🔗
But never that like pressure.
9:06🔗
My heart is going to stop thing.
9:13🔗
Best Of
Anxiety, the synonym is fear. No, anxiety, the synonym in Webster's is care. And in panic, the synonym is fear. So they're like complete opposites by definition. Anxiety is stimulus response. Your boss is yelling at you. And then eventually, if you keep yelling at it, and yelling at you, then one day you're driving to work and you get an anxiety attack. because that's the building where you get yelled at.
9:34🔗
Like right now.
9:36🔗
I'm not, and my heart's starting to break.
9:39🔗
No.
9:40🔗
Best Of
Just why can't you be like, you could be like the Rolando Blackman on like the Mavericks and just sit back in the cut. You get a pass, drain your three every once in a while, and you jog back up the court.
9:50🔗
You know, if I knew who he was, I would try to be like him.
9:55🔗
Okay, I'll work that.
10:23🔗
Yeah, hi.
10:32🔗
Oh, I have a problem. I'm going out on the limb calling y'all.
10:38🔗
Around a year and a half ago, they said I had cervical cancer.
10:43🔗
Yeah, they froze my cervix and they removed all the cancer cells and they said they thought everything was fine, that it shouldn't recur.
10:51🔗
Drew
Let me just stop you for a second. Did you have a conization also or just for the cryotherapy?
10:57🔗
I don't remember.
10:58🔗
Drew
I think it was just a crowd therapy. There's a study just came out this week that showed that something, we've kind of talked about it a little bit, but most of the cervical cancers, the ones at least that are really meaningful, occur just at the mouth of the cervix. The cervix is like a donut with a hole in the middle of it. And the most of it occurs right in the hole in the middle. And the conization is they cut that out and cut the middle out. And this study just came out that showed that women that have had that procedure have a much, much higher incidence of miscarriage.
11:24🔗
Okay. Well, I've been engaged...
11:26🔗
Best Of
She's like, whatever, Drew, let me keep going. That's very Buddhist to cut out the hole.
11:33🔗
That's all I could think about when you talked about it.
11:39🔗
But my problem is, is I've been engaged for a year and a half, and I love my fiancé, and I want to pleasure him, and I want to be with him, and all the emotional attachments that come with it. But my problem is, is ever since I've had that surgery, it hurts, and I don't want to talk to him about it. I've gone to doctors, and they said there's no scar tissue, there's nothing, and I'm just doesn't know what to do.
12:01🔗
Hold on a second. Hold on now.
12:04🔗
Yes.
12:09🔗
There's nothing.
12:10🔗
Drew
And have you had an ultrasound to see if there's some other problem that might be causing the pain, like endometriosis or something?
12:15🔗
I've been in the hospital for a month and a half. I tried everything.
12:20🔗
Yeah, because they were running tests. I was in and out for a month and a half.
12:34🔗
Well, the first time I was in because my stomach's blown up. And then in and out, I'm doing well.
13:02🔗
That was a faint no.
13:08🔗
If it's for our phone, it's hers.
13:18🔗
Drew
She's had extensive evaluation. She's got somatic preoccupations, much like Jay Mohr. And they can't explain it. It's something called dyspareunia, which is pain within our course. It could be a hundred different things. All she can really do is keep going back and try to look for an explanation. I will tell you, though, that when, that nine times out of ten, plus when women have unexplained pelvic pain, it ends up being a sexual abuse history.
13:40🔗
Best Of
In the meantime, keep going down on him like you're drowning and his nuts have oxygen.
13:45🔗
Right.
14:01🔗
Best Of
Doesn't he know how to be gentle? He's got to be like a savage and like, you know, do the whole thing every time, get through the whole donut.
14:18🔗
Caller
Look, I was calling to ask Drew what the dangers are with an irregular bowel movement.
14:41🔗
Caller
From, like, when I was in the sixth grade, up until about a year ago, I used to, like, I wouldn't take it over very much at all, like...
14:59🔗
Caller
No. Yes, no, it really was. I mean, it was really bad. But my depression has gotten a whole lot better. It's where, like, I do it, like, once every...
15:11🔗
Caller
Oh, well, I mean, like, at first, like, I never had the movement or whatever. But then when I did, like, it hurt too much. So I would just stop and be like, screw it, I'll do it later. And it just kind of built up each time.
15:30🔗
Caller
Oh, well, actually, it's weird because only until this past year, when it's actually been getting better, has it started? Have I started getting, like, a hemorrhoid there and stuff?
15:56🔗
Drew
Here's the deal. You need to take bulk. You need to take stools. Yeah, it could be some sort of.
16:05🔗
Drew
Pretty unusual. I mean, really, the first thing to do is to like that one. Look at my girl in the cut to look at his bowel function.
16:14🔗
Drew
Colonoscopy. He needs to be on both. He needs to go to school, school softener. You may have some rectal pathology.
16:32🔗
Yes. Yes.
16:33🔗
I've seen x-rays of it.
16:36🔗
Was it a friend?
16:39🔗
Drew
The x-rays usually you see from people that are laxative abusers that the bowel becomes atonic and nothing moves and just fills up. That's the x-ray usually you see.
16:56🔗
Drew
Yeah. A 7-year-old male to do this is pretty wild. So that's why you got to go on the medical.
17:19🔗
Adam
Interested in is I'm very regular. Drew is good for every other day. And that's, see, everyone leads you to believe that if you go, the more you go, the healthier you are.
18:32🔗
Adam
And then it calls Jay's dad. When the pink phone starts ringing at the Mohr household, Jay's dad's like, uh-oh.
18:56🔗
Drew
All right, here's the deal. We were reviewing this an awful lot. Women have a spectrum of sexual response. The significant majority will never have orgasm during intercourse. There's about 23% will have it, generally with intercourse, one time or with oral sex. The other one married only with oral sex. There's about 10% that will have multiple orgasms. Jay's, Jay's wife. Stuff falls out all the time.
19:18🔗
Adam
Yeah. You better learn how to fake over that guy on top of you because he'll go nuts on you.
19:27🔗
Adam
All right. So you're still ahead of the game at 19, that you're having it orally with your boyfriend.
19:49🔗
Adam
Let me ask you real quick, Rochelle. If you helped yourself out when your boyfriend was giving you intercourse, do you think you could have an orgasm?
20:19🔗
Adam
I almost said Julianne. That's why. No, thank you. That's right, Julianne. Nicholson is here tonight. We will take ourselves a quick break. When we come back.
21:02🔗
Adam
Hey, everybody, Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. It's the best of Loveline. As we continue with Dear, Dear, Dear Friend, who I've only met once.
21:17🔗
Adam
I wish I already should be talking about that. Name of that movie, of course, is New York Minute. That's about how long it lasted in the theaters. And ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy Andy Richter.
21:34🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dear, dear, new friend, dear friend, new friend, dear friend, Andy Richter.
21:47🔗
Dear, dear.
21:48🔗
Dear, dear, dear.
21:49🔗
Adam
Andy Richter in the studio tonight. Andy, you know, Andy had a sitcom that only lasted a season or two. Two seasons. Two seasons, yeah.
21:58🔗
It was two seasons, but it was mid-season both seasons, which is sort of like a pat on the back and a punch in the gut at the same time.
22:07🔗
There are 19, but I think only 15 or 14 aired.
22:16🔗
Oh yeah, it's less than a season's worth.
22:21🔗
Yeah, I know.
22:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, thank you. Well, it's one of those, you know, here's what it would be the equivalent to. It would be the equivalent to you going up to the plate against Pedro Astacio or some fast baller. Hit one that just missed a foul, went to the bleachers, would have been a grand slam, fouling a few off, taking a few, and eventually striking out after very courageous at bat. And you can hold your head up, walk back to the dugout.
22:48🔗
Adam
And as a matter of fact, probably score some points. I mean, it was almost too ambitious. It was almost too good for the public, too good. A little too hip.
22:59🔗
Caller
No, it was, I don't see, I personally, I mean, if the show had been on and had been left on in a fair way, I would be more than willing to go, you know what, people just didn't really want to see it. But it was constantly being dicked around and like, you know, moved from one spot to another and taken off the air for a month and then put back on for three weeks, showing twice, twice a week and then taking off for two weeks and then put back on another night.
23:30🔗
Caller
And it just, there's no way to build any kind of viewership like that and, you know, and I had, I mean, to me what was evidence of the show being mishandled was, like you said, everybody seemed to really like it. I mean, I'm not saying like it was the greatest thing ever, but it was a pretty good show.
23:47🔗
Caller
I know, that's true. That's true, because a lot of people, when they meet me, they think I'm retarded. Yeah. So they, just from the way I look.
23:58🔗
Caller
I'm retarded, see? But, no, but while it was on in the second season, I had people, a number of people say, when's your show coming back on? And it had been on for like two months.
24:12🔗
Caller
And then I had not as many, but yet a few people say, while the show was still in the air in the second season, man, I'm so mad that your show got canceled. Yeah. It's like a hot knife in your guts, you know?
24:37🔗
Caller
I am a little bitter. I'm mad. That's right. No, I am a little bitter. Wouldn't you be bitter?
24:47🔗
Drew
I'm just finding it ironic that the people that are as mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore, the people are actually on TV.
25:12🔗
Adam
He's got another shot on Fox that cleaned the little house over there. And he's back and smelling the rust. That's right.
25:23🔗
Adam
All right. I don't believe Andy's ever. Andy, have you ever thrown up because of alcohol? Oh, yeah. Oh, good. All right. Now we can hang.
25:40🔗
Adam
I got this theory. They're adults. Okay, here's it. There are adults, and I worked with many of them over here at the Mother Station for a number of years, the morning show, namely Kevin and Bean.
25:53🔗
Adam
And then their old producer, Frank, and a whole bunch of guys. And for instance, at 5.30 in the morning, I was the only one drinking a cup of coffee. They were drinking hot chocolate or Mountain Dew or something like that. And then we'd go, one time we all went to Seattle, and we went out to a nice fish joint. We're in the micro-brew capital of the world, and they're ordering frescoes and sprites, and I'm the only one getting the micro-brew kind of thing.
26:23🔗
Adam
Right. Real cheese. And then I realized, okay, everybody, every child is born into the yummy phase. I mean, every kid, kids don't like beer, they don't like cigars, they don't like whiskey, they don't like Poon Tang, they don't... Although, we're not sure, because I'm going to figure... I'm going to get the bottom of it if I like it. But the point is, is they don't like these things because they don't really taste good. I mean, a beer does not taste good. It tastes like a beer. Right. And so if they have their choice, well, they're not going to eat a smoked salmon and caviar and a cigar. They're going to... You're going to eat a grilled cheese with a lot of ketchup on it. Lucky Charms. And Mr. Pibb. And once in a while, you meet an adult who still seems to be trapped in the yummy fags. Absolutely. Now, somewhere along the line, like in your teens, peer pressure sets in. You're forced to drink the Mickey's Big Mouth in the park until you puke with your buddies or suck up a Winston cigarette or something. You learn this sort of... You learn these things. Now, I don't think they ever really taste good, like whiskey and even like red wine and stuff. If it doesn't taste good, it just tastes like red wine, it tastes like whiskey, a woman tastes like a woman. These are... You learn to appreciate them. The guys in the yummy phase, they get trapped in it, they take it to the grave.
27:41🔗
Caller
But I also think... Is that not you? No, that is not me at all. No, I... I have very grown up taste. He's got it. I mean, the other way. They're sort of like... So grown up, it's kind of creepy.
28:10🔗
Caller
And then we'll talk in a week. Yeah. You get in my trunk and then we'll talk. No. Oh, come on. You started it. That's how you're the guys. This is how I always love that. I knew you were one of the other. I knew everybody was like, hey, come on, let's, you know, let's walk down here. All right, you want to walk down here? Let's walk down here, damn it. No, I... But I actually do think, though, that the taste buds evolve. I agree with you.
28:36🔗
Drew
I think they actually kind of burn out a little bit. That the whatever it is... I think we are programmed to want fatty and sweet food.
28:41🔗
Drew
because we need the calories to grow. And as we mature, those mechanisms, deteriorate, go away, change, alter, configure to something more discriminating.
28:49🔗
Caller
Yeah. Or just something like you appreciate sour and bitter. And you know, like there's something sort of chemical and structural that goes on.
28:57🔗
Drew
I actually don't think you learn that so much as it's sort of part of maturing biologically.
29:01🔗
Caller
If you raised people to adulthood on an island and only gave them kid food and then brought them back to society, those adults would like coffee pretty quickly.
29:12🔗
Caller
Most of those. And there was ones that liked that yummy crap, would like that yummy crap. You know what I mean?
29:18🔗
Adam
So you're saying, but from, so you crave the fats, you crave the starches, you crave the sugars when you're young, everybody needs it. And then later on, it shuts off. You start turning on like whiskey and hooker nipple. That stuff like the dead hooker nipple.
29:34🔗
Caller
My older brother is a total, like my older brother, Hooker jerky. You know, when his, cause he's like had, he's had health problems. He's three years older than me.
29:44🔗
Caller
He's just had like, he had like gallbladder issues and stuff. And so like what the way he's adjusted himself, like his diet, he's overweight, but he's also, he's a gigantic person. He's like six foot five and he's a really big man. But the way he's adjusted is that like he'll only get three candy bars a day, you know. And I like, I honestly, I cannot remember the last time. It's been probably 20 years since I bought a candy bar. Yeah.
30:13🔗
Caller
No, but I mean like, you know, after Halloween, there'll like the, you know, there'll be the minis around and I might have one. It's not like I would be above it, but never would I like go to the gas station.
31:08🔗
Caller
I actually was. It's actually sort of like probably my darkest secret. There's the homo stuff. But then the other darkest secret is no, is I was a member of a fraternity.
31:22🔗
Caller
I started out at University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. Yeah. I went and I joined a fraternity because I was from a small town and I thought, well, if I want to have a social life and U of I is like, chokingly Greek, you know, like, yeah, it's like one of the at the time it was like a fairly academic school too.
31:42🔗
Caller
Yeah. That's I mean, that's I went there because it was cheap and I had pretty good grades and I couldn't afford Northwestern and and I so I thought I'll join if we've seen Northern Illinois State.
31:58🔗
Caller
That's part of this. Yeah. That's part of the day. I don't think you have to go back. Was it Cindy Crawford days? You know, she's from Barbwire.
32:06🔗
Adam
I had to I had to point out much of the dismay of the large crowd that yes, Cindy Crawford may have been born here, but she got her ass out as soon as she could walk. I mean, she she took off immediately.
32:22🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, the thing is, is it shouldn't be where you're born. Anyone can be born anywhere. It's where it's where you end up. And she was smart enough at 13 to hit Milan and get the hell out of there and never been back.
32:37🔗
Caller
I joined a fraternity because I thought that's the only way to party. And I quickly realized it was a mistake. Yes. because there were... It was very much like what I feel like is happening in this country. because I sort of ended up hanging with the Stoners. And the Stoners were really kind of cool. But they couldn't be bothered to like... Have a life? No, to hold offices of power within the house. So it was all these other like guys that when you made fun of the fact that it was like some sort of... All the, you know, the rituals and stuff were just like crypto-fascist BS from some like goofy Baptist from 112 years ago and said like no, this is really... That's stupid, all that stuff. And they get really mad at you. That's, that's, you know, it was sort of like... But those guys were the only ones who would run for office. So they would set the rules. I know. Yeah, well, they're all, they're all, you know, apologizing for photos and videos.
33:56🔗
Adam
All right. Now, let's get back to the phones. But let me say this. You feel this way sort of about politicians like this sort of Dan Quayles and even the George Bushes and many others in office. You get the feeling, you know, when they were 19 they were that stupid fraternity guy who was, you know, making everyone go by the pledge book and all that kind of stuff. Didn't seem to be very creative, didn't seem to be very smart, but yet seemed to sort of power forward despite their own inadequacies emotionally and intellectually. All right. Amanda?
34:29🔗
Adam
Thank you. Oh, you know what I wanted to mention before Drew coming off is DeKalb also invented barbed wire.
34:38🔗
Adam
I had to point it out to them that that was no big kicks either. Wire and barbs both existed. You guys just put them together.
34:45🔗
Caller
Barbs. Yeah, but the barb industry was really struggling until they finally put it with wire. Oh, there's barbs all over the place here.
34:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, but the people that got in on the ground floor of the barb industry are laughing pretty good now, Andy.
35:06🔗
Uh-huh.
35:11🔗
Caller
Okay, so I have a little bit of a problem. I kind of have gotten in trouble sleeping around with different people. I had a boyfriend for about three years, a while ago. More recently, I dated a guy for a couple of months, and we're still friends. We still talk. We kind of broke it off while he's getting divorced. And his problem is that he thinks that because that was my past, that if we were to get back together, he thinks I'll keep, you know, Let me get this straight.
35:49🔗
Caller
No. Well, he was already getting, he was in the process of getting a divorce when I met him.
36:04🔗
Caller
Yeah. When we met, like he asked me all kinds of questions about my past and had a really big interest in everyone that I had, you know, been with. He wanted to know, which is understandable. I mean, I think it's both ways.
36:15🔗
Drew
It is, but it isn't. We generally believe that people shouldn't freak each other out with that. On the other hand, from your standpoint, you should understand unless you do some significant work on yourself, history does predict future.
36:28🔗
Caller
Well, and then the thing is, this is what happened. He knew that when I was first talking to him before we were officially dating, I was kind of seeing someone else at the same time. And it bothered him.
36:40🔗
Drew
That's what I'm saying. He expects that you will do to him what you have done to other boyfriends.
36:58🔗
Caller
Yeah, I don't know. And that's what he tells me now. But it was really his suggestion. He told me, well, you need to call Dr. Drew and figure out what the heck is wrong with you.
37:10🔗
Caller
Well, okay, so I dated a guy for three years and he was the first person I slept with. Since then, I've slept with seven other people.
37:29🔗
Drew
Hold on. Let's clarify even further. Is that cheating episode, was that at the end of that relationship?
37:36🔗
Caller
Well, it's a little more complicated than that. I knew he was going to be leaving. He had to do this church religious mission thing. And so, I knew a long time before he was going to be leaving. And I think that was hard for me to handle. I don't know for sure. It was toward the end of the three years.
37:53🔗
Adam
All right. All right. So, here's what's going on. The guy is an older guy. She's 22. He's doing a little mind control thing on her. I don't like this guy that much. I like the idea that he said to talk to Dr. Drew.
38:12🔗
Drew
But. Even that's kind of manipulative. because he knows you that you'd respond possibly to that.
38:28🔗
Caller
Well, yeah. And like I said, like he married the woman he married. It was because of like.
38:34🔗
Adam
Look, here's what it is. This guy's 23. When you're 23, you ask all those horrible questions. You become some sort of some sort of true or stenographer of this person's past. And they want to know everything. And then as soon as you collect all that information, you then start using it against them. And you end up confusing the person because it's like it's done in a way where I just don't want that to happen to me. And it's all BS.
38:58🔗
Drew
He's got a lot even that it's really it's just that male bravado. It's just the testosterone is making them angry that this is territory where other males have been.
39:14🔗
Adam
Right. So here's what I think women by the way, because this happens to almost every young woman when she hooks up with a 19 or 22 year old guy or something. Here's the tack they should take not only for them but for the guys. because you have to treat guys like you're treating a pet or a child. They need boundaries. They need to be contained. And the pet needs to go in the crate otherwise it's going to run all over the house. Crap everywhere. Crap everywhere. Same with the kid by the way. Do they have crates for them? No. Okay. because otherwise you can't transport them, can you?
39:48🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. So here's the thing. You need to say to them, look, I'm not a virgin, neither are you, I love you, you love me, let's move forward. I have no diseases and I have no problems.
40:01🔗
Drew
Right, even clearer than this, look, I haven't done anything unusual for somebody my age, I've had other relationships, you can count on me to be monogamous, this one, that's my intention, nobody's perfect, let's get on with it.
40:12🔗
Caller
Yeah, but first, you need to tell yourself you haven't done anything wrong. because I think he's-
40:18🔗
Caller
Yeah, but no, but I mean, what, yeah, but you know what? Life is, you know, people do a lot of stuff, and you probably, I'm assuming you never killed anybody, or that, you know, that you were never cruel to anybody. Right. But, you know, stuff happens, and if this guy is making you feel bad, and first of all, I don't like the fact that he's snooping around.
40:41🔗
Drew
We're more worried about him, yeah. We're more worried about him than we're worried about her.
40:49🔗
Caller
No, but I do think, too, that if he's making you feel bad about what does not sound to me, like from the little bit of information, does not sound like you have anything to feel bad about whatsoever.
41:24🔗
Adam
Let me get a little time. It's 722.22 after 7 o'clock. Andy Richter in studio tonight. Coasting to a stop. New York Minute coming up. Coasting to a stop. Not a bad name for a sitcom.
41:43🔗
Drew
Amanda, I hope that helped out. But it's not, it's, your boyfriend is right. You are freaking out a little bit, but we are also concerned about him.
41:50🔗
Adam
It's Loveline. We're here with Andy Richter and we'll be right back after this. Here we go, Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. He's Andy Richter. We're back. All right, let me just check in with Anthony before we go to break. Anthony?
42:17🔗
Caller
Yeah, my question is for Drew. I've become a compulsive eater over the years, after my teenage years, after high school. What I pretty much do is, I'll like watch what I'm eating during the day, but then at night I'll go out on a binge, I'll go to a fast food joint, you know, just eat burgers and fries and...
42:38🔗
Adam
All right, hold on a second. Hold on, hold on. We gotta take a break. We gotta go. Drew's gonna go rape the candy machine, ironically, during the break. Let me just say this, it just struck me, you know, everyone's always talking about fast food and what it's doing to the kids and everyone's getting obese and everything.
42:57🔗
Adam
The thing they don't talk about and aren't really thought about is fast food, the drive-thru is open till midnight or 2 o'clock everywhere now, which is really adding a whole new wrinkle to this stuff because, you know, back in the day, the place would close at 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock, maybe the late night one stayed open at 10, but there's no more of that sitting around feeling the urges at 1.30 in the morning and hitting the drive-thru. You know, knowing it's out there, knowing you're four, three, four bucks away from something that's open till 2 a.m. and it's around the corner, that's extra.
43:37🔗
Drew
And as we've been hearing since our childhood, Adam, 60 million children go to bed hungry in our country every night.
43:45🔗
Drew
Hunger is a huge problem. We've been hearing nothing but that and second-hand smoke since we were 12.
43:49🔗
Adam
Right. Yeah. Which is it? Yeah. Well, they're hungry and morbidly obese at the same time.
43:54🔗
Adam
And smoking. Actually, there's a smoker blowing second-hand smoke at them. We're going to take a quick break. Andy Richter here tonight. We'll maybe talk to. No, he's got a second win. He was close in a little bit.
44:10🔗
Caller
I just realized I don't care about anyone's problems but my own. I know it's a problem when a show like this, but you had me come back.
44:21🔗
Adam
Andy clearly didn't want to come tonight. I was surprised to see him here, quite honestly. I really was. When I came through the door at 9.50, 8.30.
44:35🔗
Adam
No, and you know what? We got to go break. I'd like to at least attempt to hang out with you a little bit. Just not now, not for a few years. Right. But just because you're on my short list of cool people to hang out with. You know, like I was saying, yeah, me and Rick there, we bowl a little bit. We should play some cards. Yeah, yeah. It's cool.
44:58🔗
Adam
You're very, very high. You have regarded very highly in the industry. Oh, thank you. You're a cool guy. For the hangout. Yeah, for the hangout factor. All right, we'll take a quick break. And can you introduce me to Odenkirk, too, by the way?
45:10🔗
Adam
He's on my list. Cool guy. I've seen him with Richter and Odenkirk, me and him. We're just kicking around some ideas.
45:19🔗
Adam
We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. And now, our favorite gal pal, the one who has a...
45:55🔗
Adam
Nicole Richie, everyone. Hey, everybody. It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Nicole Richie is here tonight. The Simple Life 2 Road Trip. All right. The Simple Life. Now, so here's what goes on. This year, they take it on the road, which is actually a good idea because last time, you had to stay in that sort of farmhouse. And there are all sorts of hijinks, but on the road, it's endless. Yes?
46:24🔗
Caller
Well, the first season, Paris and I are both busybodies and we get very antsy. And the fact that not only do we have to stay in Arkansas the whole time, but we had to stay with that family and we had all these rules and these curfews and stuff like that. I mean, there were points where during the day, they just wouldn't let us go to the mall just because they just wanted us to sit there or whatever.
47:03🔗
Adam
Yeah, that ship has sailed a long time ago. They should have got in on you guys when you were 11 and 12 years old. Now, forget about it. How do you undo that? I mean, I mean, it's just it's it's a it's an interesting question, which is, is if you're a child and the child is used to certain lifestyle, some call it a privilege, some call it a little a little reckless at times, maybe a little irresponsible, well, whatever it is, the kid is the captain of his own ship. The kid does not doesn't say what do you want me to do tonight, dad, or when's my curfew? The kid does. Once that kid does that, it's really hard to reel them back in.
47:43🔗
Caller
Well, they're 14 and 15 and still growing, and that's fine. But I mean, we're adults and I haven't just had that kind of authority since I was 11 years old. So that that was a little bit of a problem. And it wasn't planned or anything.
47:59🔗
Adam
Someone, yeah, the farmer John needed to get to you when you were wearing jammies with the flaps on it.
48:05🔗
Drew
And I think you probably could change somebody if you hung on to them until their libido started falling at about 42.
48:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, no, no, what happens is people then change later. They find Jesus Christ or they OD or they have a couple divorces or whatever it is.
48:21🔗
Adam
So if you don't, so here's a moral of the story, parents. You gotta catch your kid between like zero and maybe 12. You don't catch them between zero and 12. Then you got from 12 to maybe 42. And then somewhere around 42, they start slowing down a little. It's a tough 30 years sometimes in between. It's a tough, it's a big window.
48:42🔗
Adam
Tough, tough parenting. Alright, so leaving Miami, heading to Beverly Hills, in Winnebago.
48:55🔗
Adam
That's right, that's right. And how many stop, is each episode a stop or each stop an episode or there's multi stops?
49:15🔗
Adam
Nichol brought her, I may have queefed actually. Nichol brought her dog in. Drew smells number two.
49:29🔗
Adam
Nothing. Chris. Scared the S out of him. Leave the poor dog alone. What's the dog's name? Honey Child. Honey Child. Don't mind the big scary man who only gets $10 an hour and lives at home. Like the way I seamlessly weave that into almost every conversation. You didn't even see it.
49:48🔗
Adam
All right, Drew, stop obsessing with the dog. So, okay, Nicole and Paris leave Miami. 12 episodes? How many episodes?
50:18🔗
Caller
It was fun. It definitely was long. There's no, because we're in an airstream, there's no unpacking and stuff like that. And it was just really cramped because it was Paris, me, our two dogs, and also obviously the audience doesn't see this, but there's a camera guy, there's a sound guy, and we're in like the smallest, smallest space.
50:37🔗
Adam
Let me just give this observation on the lap dogs. You guys are getting an early jump on those lap dogs because historically it was only like Jean Jean and Ava Gabor.
50:48🔗
Adam
Here's how lap dogs are supposed to work. After a good 65 years of living, you decide this dog is the most important thing in your life. It's usually after multiple divorces and then eventually you get in a fistfight because they won't let you bring it on the airplane. But by then you're into the your late 60s.
51:06🔗
Drew
Although it's been a new member. We had Deborah Harry bring her. Were you here when you tried to bring her dog up?
51:17🔗
Adam
Oh really? Yeah, well this is what happens. What happens is is you get attached to the lap dog. The lap dog just becomes, it's like your belly button or your nostril.
51:31🔗
Adam
What about the person next to you though? Like what if someone's allergic to dogs? How come I can't get any goddamn peanuts on a southwest flight because some pussy called in and said their kid would go into anaphylactic shock shock by opening some peanuts. You're going to fly with your dog?
51:52🔗
Adam
Let me have a sidebar with Drew. Not about the dog. I don't want to keep the goddamn dog at home.
52:07🔗
Adam
Yeah. Okay. But you can't fly with a dog. You have to fly first class? Can you fly business class with a dog?
52:21🔗
Adam
I know maybe I'm dwelling on this too much. And then maybe there's certain things in life that confuse me. But the idea that you can't bring your toenail clippers on board and you can't be trusted with an actual fork. You get a spork, but you're bringing your dog with you.
52:40🔗
Caller
No, no, no, no. You bring a medical slip with you, saying this dog is certified to fly, carry it in a purse.
52:53🔗
Caller
You have to carry the dog in a purse. I mean, some people have a dog carrier, but most people don't fly it.
52:59🔗
Caller
Something, yeah. And for landing and takeoff, they have to be under your seat. And then I just, she's, I mean, the thing about lap dogs is if they're with their moms, they're just going to sleep. So it's not like they're barking or running around or anything.
53:15🔗
Adam
It makes perfect sense except for the part where they tell you, like, if you lit up a cigarette in the head, you would be, it would stop the plane and arrest you. But Nichol's got her dog out.
53:32🔗
Adam
It really, it really is. It's like, not sure what you can and can't do on the plane anymore. All right. It's weird. And the whole thing with, like, airports and planes in general is just like, if you got to ask, the answer is no. Right. It's just no. You just can't do it. You can't do anything. That's why the dog thing seems funny because they don't let you do anything. But let me tell you this. I didn't want to get into, but, you know, we just got back from Europe a week ago, and it was a, you know, huge hassle. So you wouldn't do anything, change anything or move anything or whatever. I mean, everything's a disaster. All right. All right. Dog on a, once the dog starts farting, he said the dog's gassy.
54:18🔗
Adam
People, people have way, you know, it's a decent point. It's a decent point. But people, well, well, here's the thing, though. You have to encounter people on the plane. You don't necessarily have to encounter the dog. And people would excuse themselves, perhaps. Drew, if you had gas.
54:35🔗
Adam
And you're sitting at the, you would go to the bathroom and do that cheek spreader move that you do, right?
54:40🔗
Caller
Then you'd excuse yourself. If I farted on a plane, I wouldn't turn to the person next to me and be like, excuse me, I farted. I would, I would lie or get up or go to the bathroom.
54:48🔗
Adam
That's what I mean. You would, you would excuse yourself to the bathroom. I don't mean you would make up an excuse after you blew wind on the guy next to you. I mean, you would excuse yourself to the bathroom. That's what I meant. All right. Let's, Honey Child.
55:40🔗
Caller
My mom's around. My parents were divorced, but they were really close as well. I moved back home with my mom and he actually moved in with me and my mom.
55:56🔗
Caller
Yeah, my sister, yeah, my brother's kind of just handling it in a really different way or he just jokes a lot. I don't know.
56:07🔗
Drew
Well, the problem, Shannon, is you still aren't even really opening to the idea that he's gone.
56:19🔗
Adam
You see what I'm saying? No one was listening last night at 12 and then again tonight. That'd be two days in a row. You know, we have an every other day policy.
56:29🔗
Adam
Yeah. You want to listen. Here's the deal. You can listen Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, or you can go the Monday, Wednesday route.
56:40🔗
Adam
Otherwise, we got too many people listening. What the hell is the dog doing with its tongue? What is that?
56:48🔗
Adam
Yeah, but it flattened out like a diving board. It stuck right out. He did that on purpose. That was an attack. You see him giving a stink eye, Drew?
56:58🔗
Drew
He's got a stinky eye. All right. Go ahead, Drew. So Shannon, really the first order of business is really letting yourself come to terms with this. And the only way that's going to happen is with the support of other people. Do you have enough support?
57:23🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, he was in a hospice program, and I don't know what they called today, but I didn't talk to them, and they just kind of wanted to...
57:30🔗
Drew
There are grief... There are usually bereavement groups through hospice you can go and evolve with. And you will find you're resisting it because you don't want to come to terms with it. And that's natural enough. All of the avoidance and resistance is all the fact that you want to stay in this place where you can sort of magically believe he's going to return or that he hasn't really gone. That's not a healthy place to be. That is a place that will become very depressing rather quickly and potentially pathological. So go to a bereavement group, get friends around you, just slowly kind of let it in bit by bit as you can tolerate it.
58:03🔗
Adam
Let me ask you this. How much of... We have this sort of theory that you recover from emotional trauma, sort of like you recover from physical trauma, which is, you know, guys do that thing where they go, oh man, if he wasn't in such great physical shape, he never would have survived that motorcycle accident. You know, it's just that he was in phenomenal shape. You know what I mean? So you're in good shape going into the accident. It helps you recover after the trauma.
58:36🔗
Adam
Right? I mean, anybody is going to have a grief in a period of mourning after the loss of a loved one. But if you're depressed already, you may go into a serious tailspin, right?
58:49🔗
Drew
Or if you have some conflicted issues about that or some unfinished business, yeah, it can really become very acute.
59:22🔗
Caller
Well, I heard you talking about SEGNAL., like that thing on your uncircumcised penis a long while ago.
59:44🔗
Caller
because most people that are uncircumcised are European. I hope so because I don't understand the American that's uncircumcised.
1:01:14🔗
Adam
Alright. Or go back to your beloved Hungary and get yourself a nice hot Hungarian chick. Sure. Alright. Alright. Listen. I know he's Hungarian now. I believe him. because you're right. Him actually naming a country and then naming a capital of a country is way out of the range of one of our callers who didn't actually live there. You know, and I think about this all the time. Like, somebody could say, where are you from? And you could easily name a country and you could easily name a city in that country or you could make up a name that we never heard of because obviously we don't know every city that's in Hungary. We probably know two, you know. So yet way too tall in order for anyone who calls this show.
1:02:06🔗
Adam
And he wouldn't have chosen Hungary. All right. So here's the thing, dry, that's the part. That's the other thing. People don't realize the stuff needs to kind of dry out.
1:02:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's what I tell people. I mean you got to clean it out and you got to protect it, but like when you go to bed at night, shouldn't you take the band-aid off and let's get some air on it?
1:02:47🔗
Drew
I have a problem with nurses with wound care where they always want to put ointment on everything that's open.
1:02:55🔗
Adam
Absolutely. All right, let's, all right, so clean the dung and hang it on the line or throw it in the dryer and put on a tumble.
1:03:20🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? As a six-year-old dude, how long could you be alone with your junk before you run like, hey, wait a minute, I got an idea. That's why as a guy, you can't, you can't, as a guy, can you take a bath before the age of 30 without beating off? You can't do it. You know, you know why? because you, you go like, I'm just going to take a bath. I think I'll take a bath. It'd be nice to take a bath. And then you just lie down in the bath. You go, this relax. You're like, oh, there's my dick.
1:03:47🔗
Adam
You know, I'm going to light a can. I'll go, look at this kind of buoyant. And I'd say, I'm beating off. Wait a minute, don't, wait a minute. I'm done with the water. Ah, screw it. I'm just beating off. I mean, right? How much time can you spend alone with your penis before it's time to beat off? You got to have some jeans on. Shower's fine. You're doing, you know, shit. You're busy. You're busy. You know, your hands are moving.
1:04:10🔗
Drew
It's an interesting indictment on your psychology that you have to be busy or you begin masturbating immediately, especially if you're alone with your penis.
1:04:34🔗
Caller
I haven't had my period in almost 10 months now, and I've been having some symptoms of menopause, like night sweats and hot flashes and no sex drive whatsoever. And I'm just wondering if it's possible for me to go through menopause at my age?
1:05:02🔗
Drew
You could have pituitary tumors, you could have thyroid conditions, all kinds of stuff that can go wrong, but it's not menopause. See, why haven't you gone to see the doctor? It's been 10 months.
1:05:17🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. This has got to be an abuse survivor. Something. Whenever you hear that bad excuse, I mean bad experience, excuse thing, it's always weird.
1:06:37🔗
Drew
So every interaction you have with a male is going to feel like somebody trying to rape you. And look, the doctor is just trying to do their job. You need to get in there and get this taken care of. Yeah. Get it taken care of. If you're having a variant failure, you can end up with bone disease, all kinds of infertility problems. If this is a pituitary tumor, it can get out of hand. There's a lot of things that can go on here. Let's go ahead and get this taken care of, all right?
1:06:58🔗
Adam
All right. How about a boatload of therapy for all the horrible abuse you've gone through?
1:07:07🔗
Caller
I've had my relationship. I've got a great relationship, and it was here on the 1st of June. So.
1:07:45🔗
Caller
Twenty-three years. Yeah. Well, I'll be 24 in July. So I met him right before I turned 18.
1:08:19🔗
Caller
He doesn't want to have children and doesn't want to get married. So he thinks that he's holding me back.
1:08:44🔗
Caller
Yeah, he is. Actually, he died about eight years ago and I was pretty happy. But I don't know, I've talked about it a lot in therapy and I've let it go.
1:08:56🔗
Drew
You take yourself to hear yourself medically. It's called oligomentary or amenorrhea. It needs to be evaluated. It's not menopause.
1:09:01🔗
Adam
All right. Listen, everybody, you see what your voice will give away? It's all in the voice.
1:09:13🔗
Drew
Here's a because the interesting I read. I actually read Super Bowl Boyfriend and in therapy.
1:09:31🔗
Adam
The screen says 23 no sex drive, night sweats, hot flashes, menopause. That's in question, Mark. Doesn't there's no abuse. There's no anything in there. And people always want to they're always like, why do you guys? Why do you say? What do you make everyone abuse? We don't make her abuse. Her step grandfather made her abuse. And her alcoholic mom made her abuse. We're just trying to get to it.
1:09:57🔗
Adam
She made us feel it. And when she made that crack about not wanting, you know, having a bad experience at the doctor, then I knew...
1:10:17🔗
Adam
Alright, Nicole Richie here tonight. We'll take a quick break from The Simple Life, and we'll be right back. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline and Adam. That's Dr. Drew, Orlando Jones. Hey, now. Here tonight. All right. When we left our screen in Nicole, Nicole's, I'm just gonna pop in to see when that smoke alarm chirps again. We're obsessing on her smoke alarm and neglecting her very important question, but quickly on the smoke alarm one more time. I was saying to Orlando during the break, I said, could you imagine if you're designing that putter on hold?
1:11:06🔗
Adam
I got it. Imagine if you're the company, your first alert or Coleman or the company that is actually manufacturing or you're part of the board that decides the criteria for manufacturing and things. Well, here's the deal. It's got three years battery life, it has to have such and such a decibel siren and such and such other criteria. What if the battery is going low? Well, it's got to be 110 decibel chirp that goes off in no more than 40 second intervals and people must have been going, oh, that'll send people running to the liquor store to get batteries. I mean, this would be impossible to ignore.
1:11:49🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's essentially like someone pulling a diesel truck horn every 30 seconds in your bedroom. I mean, there's no, they, but here's the thing. It's like when, it's like when they're breeding roach spray and they said, this stuff will kill a rhino, but then a few generations later, roaches started driving on this stuff. We've outbred humans for this. Do you understand? We're now, now we've bred a human that is not bothered by the 120 decibel chirp that goes off every 30 seconds.
1:12:19🔗
Caller
It proves my theory that like if it happens long enough, Americans can get used to anything. Remember when the homeless was like a problem? All of a sudden, that's no longer a problem. We didn't worry about that. There's a homeless guy who's outside my office, and every day I talk to him like he lives somewhere. I'm like, hey, how are you doing? How are you doing?
1:12:35🔗
Drew
The problem is for 10 years, we were arguing that homeless people were just regular people that ran out of money.
1:12:51🔗
Adam
That's not what I'm saying. We were doing the ramp where this guy, he has a family, he had a great job, he was working for Northrop until they closed the factory and then all of a sudden, he smells of Boone's farm and he defecates in his pants. No, no. These are drug addicts.
1:13:13🔗
Adam
Yeah, these are guys who got laid off over at Grumman Northrop. You know what I'm saying?
1:13:20🔗
Adam
By the way, why must we do that as a society? And I know that's mostly the left wing that does that kind of crap. This guy's a hardworking family man. After 30 strong years of working for GM, he gets laid off. Pow, he's in the street. And by the way, you got a gig for 30 years? And you get fired on a Monday and a Wednesday? You're living out of your car? That's called projecting. You're not doing a good job of financial management?
1:13:47🔗
Drew
It's again the BS of the press. They don't ask the right questions. They believe whatever's on the surface, and then they project that on the satellites. And that's the story.
1:13:56🔗
Adam
People who are on the street are drug addicts, or they have mental disorders, or both. And I don't know what percentage of them are factory guys that have been laid off or good, God-fearing family men. I'm going way less than 1%.
1:14:09🔗
Caller
I don't know what factory there is in Beverly Hills, but I know it's a lot of home this dude is hanging out.
1:14:17🔗
Adam
All right, so Nicole, yeah, I gotta figure out this question. So Nicole, you got high.
1:14:33🔗
Caller
Yes. Well, because like she was telling me that she misses this guy who did it so good and whatnot. And she was like, you should leave because I'm gonna, you know, please myself. And I was like, I was gonna say something and she was like, what are you gonna say? I was like, let me know if you need help. And she's like, all right, go yell at the kids and then come back and then maybe-
1:15:04🔗
Caller
Oh, rock on. By the way, my girlfriend's out of town. I'm getting ready to go please myself.
1:15:15🔗
Adam
I said they better hope nothing happens to her. And by the way, a whole new generation of people immune to the smoke detector chirp. These kids are living in the house?
1:15:26🔗
Adam
They're living in an apartment with you? Yeah. By the way, the kids were, hold on a second. We are breeding, that's what I'm talking about. We're breeding generations of, you know when this is going to happen, here's the thing. Companies now who manufacture smoke detectors, low battery, a big scissor arm with a boxing glove. I'm going to whack you on the head. because the chirp, you think these kids are going to mind the chirp? These kids aren't going to be able to go to bed without the chirp. You understand? Like with these guys in their 30s, they're going to have a smoke detector with a low battery on their nightstand.
1:16:04🔗
Caller
The relaxation sounds. The sounds of the ocean, the rainforest and a smoke detector.
1:16:14🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Okay. Hold on. This is by the way albino white trash activity that's going on here. But this is scary stuff.
1:16:30🔗
Adam
They'll be fine. Alright. Hold on a second. And by the way, smoke detector is there to detect smoke so your kids don't burn in a...
1:16:39🔗
Adam
Okay. Orlando Jones here tonight. He's both amused and disgusted. We will take a quick break. We'll get right back with Nicole for another hour or so. And then it's going to go into Rodney Show. She's going to talk. All right. Right after this. Hey ho, Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew.
1:17:11🔗
Adam
Or as you know around the hospital, Dr. Half Jew. Orlando Jones, dear, dear, dear friend, is, no, actually...
1:17:31🔗
Adam
No. He kind of reminds me of, if Dave and Alan Greer were black, I think they would have the same, they would share some of the same sensibilities. Yes, Drew?
1:18:00🔗
Adam
Orlando can be found on Father of the Pride, Tuesday nights, NBC, 9 o'clock. And now it's time to play a little something we call Germany or Florida. Jackie? Hey. Year 14? Yes. What's up? Wait, wait, wait.
1:18:17🔗
Adam
I forgot, I forgot. I'm sorry. I'm walking away. The, yes, Germany or Florida, all bizarre stories, all the macabre, all the occult, all the people cut their toes off, frying it up and eating it.
1:18:30🔗
Adam
Comes from either Germany or Florida. Gotcha. So we hear the story and then we guess, is it Germany or Florida? Gotcha.
1:18:40🔗
Caller
Okay. An actress was taken to the hospital after a man injured her breast while trying to cut open her bra with a chainsaw during rehearsal for a show. It was the worst moment of my life. I thought I was going to die. The woman who was also a former porn star told a newspaper. The chainsaw operator said she was lying down during the rehearsal and suddenly bent forward just as he was applying the saw to her bra.
1:19:01🔗
Adam
All right. So this is like an act, like a, like a sideshow act. We're going to take the...
1:19:53🔗
Adam
I'm going Germany. It's ironic that Orlando would go Germany and Adam would go Florida. We need some guy named Helmut who goes Florida here just to sort of equal out the irony. All right, so what do you got, Drew?
1:20:25🔗
Adam
You're wrong twice by saying C when she just says Adam and Drew. Do you understand how bad your instincts are? You see, you're wrong.
1:20:40🔗
Drew
It makes sense in retrospect. In this country, you couldn't get away with dangerous stuff like that.
1:20:46🔗
Drew
Chainsaw, get close to somebody's body with it, legal liabilities and blah, blah, blah.
1:20:51🔗
Adam
No, no, no, no. You can do crazy circus acts. It's like a circus thing. You can do that. I thought about that, but they do like knife throwing and stuff like that.
1:21:17🔗
Caller
Hi, really quickly, I just want to say I'm a really big fan. Last time I called in, I was 18 and I'm 28 now, so that's how long I've been listening. Wow.
1:21:29🔗
Caller
Yeah. Okay. Emergency medical technicians summoned to the home of a grossly overweight woman and had the usual problems with removing her inadequate stretcher and doorways too small. But there was a much more serious concern for the one 480 pound woman. She had not budged from her couch in several years, and its covering had become grafted onto her skin, requiring her to be transported while on the couch to the hospital. The couch had to later be surgically removed.
1:22:02🔗
Drew
Yeah, I've seen cases like that, the hurt of the hospital, where the springs get embedded in the back and you find animals living in them.
1:22:08🔗
Adam
No, I mean, I had that when I was effing a bean bag in high school, but it was different.
1:22:23🔗
Adam
It was very uncomfortable. I don't know why my stepmother had to preside over the whole thing. How embarrassing. Very uncomfortable.
1:22:42🔗
Adam
We're all going Florida. Although 480, I don't believe morbidly obese in Florida. I believe they would call that fit. Yes.
1:24:52🔗
Adam
I got to I got to I got to pace this now. One went off at 36. The other one off at 113. So that's 47.
1:25:34🔗
Adam
One off at the no. No, this is a longer one. This is a longer one. This one's forty seven seconds. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying this thing.
1:25:45🔗
Adam
This thing should be 109. We're just looking at the clock here and trying to pace. That's her smoke alarm, by the way.
1:26:01🔗
Drew
Yeah, what kind of people are you visiting? Oh, yeah, it was again. That came early that time.
1:26:08🔗
Adam
No, no, there's not two of them. You don't have two of them going on. She was at 22. No, we're at 38. We're at 38. They're always between 33 and, like, 40, right?
1:26:19🔗
Adam
Let's just wait till the next one. This one would write it too. This one's got to go at 238.
1:26:45🔗
Adam
Now, hold on a second, Nicole. Now, here's where the comedy comes. I'm telling you, Orlando, people live in these houses. The smoke detector is not in the entry hall.
1:26:56🔗
Adam
Or the foyer. It is in the master bedroom or in their bedroom, oftentimes. And the average amount of time the thing has been going off is several months.
1:27:15🔗
Adam
It's chirping so audibly that I don't really even need these headphones to hear it. I think if she opened her window, she's in Orange County with a nice offshore breeze, we could hear it. And it is going on month number five this way. And I've said to Drew many times, this would drive a reptile insane. Do you understand? If you had a pet snake, it would go nuts. It would eventually just stand up and call her the C-word and then yell, I'm going insane, you see. How about getting a goddamn effing nine battery, you see. Don't make me slink to the 7-Eleven and get it myself, you see. Do you realize that? I claim more animal than person if you can sleep in that room.
1:28:05🔗
Drew
Yes, yes. On the other hand, the case I've made for you, Adam, the skill that you don't have is that unique ability to screen one's environment. That takes an amazing amount of skill.
1:28:16🔗
Adam
But it's an interesting thing that it resides on both ends of the human spectrum. The yogis who found such enlightenment that they could actually light themselves on fire and see no pain.
1:28:30🔗
Adam
And then the borderline junior college tards that call this show, both at the spectrum of them not noticing anything.
1:28:45🔗
Drew
The amygdala screens things out of your nervous system. It screens out for novelty in the environment. So if you're not able to appreciate novelty, well, you won't hear that beep every few minutes because there's no difference in the beep and the non-beep. So there you go.
1:29:03🔗
Caller
Well, I mean, like when I first moved in here, it was, it does that, but I just, I don't even notice it anymore because my dad's did that too.
1:29:24🔗
Drew
She was born into a house with a chirping smoke detector. She moved into this house with a smoking smoke detector. Yeah, yeah. Therefore, in 19 years.
1:29:39🔗
Caller
If you meet another guy who has a smoking, beeping smoke detector, marry him right there.
1:29:56🔗
Adam
And has not been corrected. And by the way, this is another thing I've learned from now living with a woman. There's something about women which is if they can't reach it, it ain't getting done. I mean, they stick their hand up and as high as they can get their hand, that's where it is. There's no concept of getting. Here's why they don't do the smoke detector, because they can't reach the ceiling. Women do not have the ladder concept at all. Guys, nothing but ladders. Half the guys over 50 die from falling off the ladder. No woman ever dies from falling off the ladder. Whenever you talk about one of your dad's friends, well, what happened? He seemed so clean in the gutters. Yeah, when he landed on us, he's a vet. Well, I've heard. I got a friend. Guy landed and then like rolled into the pool. They found him. Oh, guys die on ladders every day. No woman has ever died on a ladder ever, ever.
1:30:55🔗
Adam
They can't get it. They can't get above the ladder. No chick will ever go up and get anything off the ceiling. Nicole. Yeah. And by the way, they could they could see a spider size of a tarantula just crawling around, see they just sit there and watch it. They can't do anything. It's a guy's job. Got to go up there and get it. All right.
1:31:40🔗
Caller
I don't even want it, though, because I smoke in my room and there's no point. It doesn't go off when I smoke.
1:31:46🔗
Adam
But it's made not to go off for stuff like cigarette smoke, you understand. Otherwise, it'd just be going off all the time. And by the way, Nicole, do you want it going off when you smoke?
1:32:19🔗
Adam
Nicole, we got to take a little break. All right. I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to break the second the thing chirps again.
1:32:54🔗
Caller
We're out. We're not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.