Wednesday, April 11, 2001

0:54🔗 Voiceover We are an adult audience.

0:57🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12🔗 Voiceover Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist, and let's not forget the Hippocratic Oath, Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew has announced that he's had some of the worst gasses of his life.

1:31🔗 Drew Yeah, I'd say so.

1:32🔗 Adam Tonight?

1:33🔗 Drew So this is that the mantra, do no harm, gets challenged.

1:36🔗 Adam Yeah, this could do harm, physically and emotionally.

1:39🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, make no doubt about it.

1:41🔗 Adam I just played 20 games of basketball, so I'm winded.

1:45🔗 Drew Now, what does 20 games of basketball mean? Four quarters, 20 times?

1:49🔗 Adam I mean that me and the Man Show guys just shot hoop for the last three hours straight, and then I ran over here. So the point is, is I think my white blood cell count is a little low.

2:00🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:01🔗 Adam I'm a little low on fluids, and a good fart could take me out. That's all I'm saying.

2:07🔗 Drew So the Man Show crew is working hard again, as usual?

2:09🔗 Adam How dare you? How dare you, sir? Finished work, then we played some basketball. You wouldn't know what it's like to hang out with guys. How dare you?

2:18🔗 Thank you.

2:20🔗 Adam Giovanni? Giovanni?

2:23🔗 Yeah.

2:24🔗 Adam What's up? You're 16.

2:25🔗 Caller Yes. Kind of a strange problem here. My girlfriend has a food fetish where she almost always has to have food while we were having sex.

2:40🔗 Adam What do you mean have it?

2:41🔗 Drew Well, yeah. What does that mean?

2:42🔗 Caller Like, you know, like eating it.

2:43🔗 Drew Eating what? Like sitting down with a tray and fork and knife?

2:46🔗 Caller Oh, no, no, no.

2:48🔗 But, you know, like, she'll, like, I mean, eating a sandwich while we're having sex.

2:53🔗 And she needs it.

2:55🔗 Caller She tells me that she needs it to feel comfortable. And I want to know if there's anything I can do with it. Yeah.

3:02🔗 Adam All right, you idiot. Drew, stop picking guys for the first call of the night, would you? You get a bunch of jack-offs. They're talking about nothing.

3:10🔗 Drew Well, now, I don't see any girls. Here's one. Try this one.

3:14🔗 Adam Jade. Jade sounds like a stripper to me. You want to try Chris?

3:18🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:19🔗 Adam If it's a dude, though. Chris?

3:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:21🔗 Adam Oh, hold on there, Chris. See if we can get some ladies going in here. Freedom.

3:27🔗 Drew Yeah. Try that.

3:29🔗 Adam Could that be a gal? Freedom?

3:32🔗 Caller Yes.

3:32🔗 Oh.

3:34🔗 Caller Hello.

3:35🔗 Adam Hello, baby.

3:36🔗 Caller Hi. You guys. Thanks for taking my call. Yeah.

3:38🔗 Adam Our pleasure.

3:39🔗 Caller Okay. My question is not so super serious, but I'm 25 years old and I'm still haven't had sex yet.

3:50🔗 Caller I just.

3:52🔗 Caller I don't see. I'm not really interested in having a relationship or I've never thought I'm not interested, but I've never. I've never really been to my rest of my family and my friends. They're all very healthy sexually and never been to my.

4:10🔗 Drew The rest of my family's been healthy.

4:11🔗 Caller Thank you.

4:13🔗 Drew Well, that's what you call tangential thought process.

4:16🔗 Adam You're a little nutty, baby.

4:17🔗 Caller I'm a little nutty.

4:19🔗 Adam Yeah, you've been told that, though, right?

4:21🔗 Caller I have. Yeah.

4:22🔗 Adam You on any medication? I'm no, but you've been begged to take some, right?

4:29🔗 Caller Wouldn't mind a little bit if it would help me out.

4:32🔗 Adam Is your name Freedom?

4:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:33🔗 Adam You come from a bunch of hippies?

4:35🔗 Caller I do. Yeah.

4:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:37🔗 Drew Shocking.

4:38🔗 Adam And the family is very healthy sexually?

4:40🔗 Caller Well, I.

4:41🔗 Drew Well, they sit around their clothes off when they smoke pot.

4:45🔗 Caller They're normal.

4:46🔗 Drew Yeah, that would be normal.

4:46🔗 Adam Okay. And why is it you think you haven't had sex yet? It's not a religious thing, right?

4:51🔗 Caller No, no. And I'm not waiting for marriage. And I mean, when I was young, most of my girlfriends were fairly, I would say, slutty, but they, I come from a small town and everybody, pretty much, did everybody. And I decided pretty young that I was going to wait until I met the one that, you know.

5:12🔗 Drew Okay. What's your question?

5:13🔗 Adam I had the same thing. It's just everyone else decided it wasn't right.

5:16🔗 Drew They decided for you.

5:17🔗 Adam I didn't get a vote. I had it was imposed.

5:20🔗 Caller I'd like to, I would like to have a relationship. I feel fairly, I've never felt like I really needed one. And I thought, you know, it was okay.

5:30🔗 Drew Let's get focused, your freedom. What can we help you with?

5:33🔗 Caller Well, I want to know if maybe it's some kind of chemical imbalance.

5:38🔗 Drew I doubt it if you're otherwise healthy medically. You're not a medicine, no healthy. Chemical imbalance is a relative term.

5:44🔗 Adam You could put me down for chemical imbalance, for freedom, though.

5:47🔗 Drew Yeah, for.

5:49🔗 Adam But what do you do for a living?

5:50🔗 Caller I'm a teacher.

5:51🔗 Adam Nope. Working with the youngins, though, right? Shaping the youth of tomorrow, or the youth of today for the world of tomorrow.

6:01🔗 Caller Yeah. I've focused my energy on that. I've never had any energy from that, I guess.

6:06🔗 Adam What do you look like? How do you look?

6:08🔗 Caller What was that?

6:08🔗 Adam How do you look?

6:09🔗 Caller How do I look?

6:12🔗 Caller Adam, I'm, you know, I have brown hair and 5'8.

6:16🔗 Adam I start with the hair color. That's trouble. You're a big gal?

6:20🔗 Caller What?

6:21🔗 Adam You're a big gal?

6:22🔗 Caller No, no. I'm fairly thin. I've never had a weight problem.

6:25🔗 Adam All right.

6:26🔗 Caller I'm not ugly, Adam. That's not the reason.

6:28🔗 Adam Just checking.

6:29🔗 Caller It's not that I can't get laid.

6:30🔗 Adam Right. Everyone who doesn't get laid says that though. But-

6:33🔗 Caller Yeah, right. Well, it could be.

6:34🔗 Adam No, you're a girl. Listen, why don't you-

6:36🔗 Drew You're a girl there for that. There for. You're right.

6:38🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. How about, you ever talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist?

6:43🔗 Caller I have. I have. A few years ago, I saw one for a while and it didn't really help me much. She was kind of- I thought she needed therapy more than I did, so I discontinued. But-

6:55🔗 Adam It's always ironic when they spazz out, when they're explaining about their sanity. Like when they go, I saw a therapist for a while, but I thought she needed a therapist. Listen, baby, you need a male therapist. Yeah.

7:09🔗 Drew I'm not sure she could tolerate that.

7:11🔗 Adam How about getting a dude therapist? And just leave yourself open. I mean, start going out. You have friends, you know, drink some wine coolers. I don't know.

7:21🔗 Drew Are you sure you want to see Freedom on anything?

7:25🔗 Adam Like a six or Bartles and James at two in the morning? Talking about my aura and how it keeps changing colors?

7:33🔗 Caller All right.

7:35🔗 Adam I'd say back in it. You got any advice? You're just going to let her float out there. No?

7:39🔗 Drew I need the therapist.

7:40🔗 Adam Therapist? All right. Jade?

7:42🔗 Hi.

7:42🔗 Adam Hey, you're 29.

7:43🔗 Caller Yep.

7:44🔗 Adam There you go. What's up?

7:45🔗 Caller I'm not a stripper. I heard that.

7:47🔗 Adam All right. Hurry then.

7:50🔗 Caller I am addicted to Vicodin and I'm ready to quit, have been for a while, and I get a few days and then the withdrawal symptoms get really bad and then I just go back.

8:01🔗 Drew Well, the withdrawal from Vicodin is the easiest part of stopping Vicodin, as miserable as it is. I can detox anyone from any opiate in about five days.

8:10🔗 Caller You can? I need that so bad.

8:12🔗 Drew Well, you don't.

8:12🔗 Adam Drew detoxed me from Vicodin during a commercial break.

8:15🔗 Drew Well, it takes a few more hours than that, but your preoccupation with the detox is misplaced.

8:21🔗 Caller You think? Because I have the desire to stop the battle right there.

8:25🔗 Drew No, no, no. No, it's not, unfortunately. With opiates, most opiate addicts want to quit in the worst way possible. They just can't. And the detox is easy compared with staying off the drug. Really?

8:36🔗 Caller Because I have in the past. I quit when I had a baby. That was easy because I didn't want to damage, you know, the house.

8:42🔗 Drew Yeah, and you stayed off it, and then what did you do?

8:44🔗 Caller Um, went back on.

8:45🔗 Drew Yeah, and that's the problem.

8:47🔗 Caller I have a legitimate reason for it.

8:49🔗 Drew Well, then you're going to go back on it again.

8:51🔗 Caller No, I can do it because I had surgery recently.

8:53🔗 Adam Well, baby, you got it all wrapped up then. You got all the answers. What do you need us for?

8:58🔗 Caller I need to get past the withdrawals.

9:00🔗 Drew No, you don't. You're wasting your time if you just focus on the withdrawal.

9:03🔗 Caller What should I focus on?

9:04🔗 Drew The recovery from the addiction.

9:06🔗 Caller Okay.

9:07🔗 Drew And you need to spend several, preferably a couple of weeks in a program.

9:11🔗 Caller Okay.

9:11🔗 Drew The withdrawal will be the smallest part of the challenge.

9:14🔗 Caller Okay. I'm all for that. You know, need to know like what type of program.

9:18🔗 Drew An addiction recovery program. There's several in your area. Glendale-Aventus has one. Los Encinas has one.

9:24🔗 Caller Okay, Glendale, okay.

9:26🔗 Adam How many days are you taking?

9:28🔗 Caller I used to, oh gosh, take like, actually I was doing worse than Vicodin. I was doing something called Norco, which is equivalent to two regular Vicodins. When you take two, that's four. I mean, it was terrible. I would take like six to eight a day. And then recently I wanted to quit, but I was getting sick, so I was having one in the morning, which didn't do anything for me, but kept me from getting sick, and then it would have one in the evening, and none at work or anything like that.

9:54🔗 Adam I'm going to take a wild guess. Are you somewhere near the Burbank Airport?

9:58🔗 Caller Uh-huh, you hear that, huh? Yep.

10:00🔗 Adam You got that Piper Cup coming down basically on your porch.

10:05🔗 Caller So I know I have willpower because I have...

10:08🔗 Drew The willpower has nothing to do with this disease. The only place for willpower to be useful is to get your ass to meetings and to listen to what people tell you to do. That's where willpower is useful. Otherwise, this is a disorder of the willpower. It is completely overwhelmed by the drives that the opiates cause and it is easily overwhelmed.

10:25🔗 Adam By the way, when you are addicted to something and you start breaking down the different elements which is, I know I have drive, I know I have willpower, and I know I have staying power. It is like, listen, you are hooked. Get into a program.

10:39🔗 Drew Are you calling Drew? That is what he is telling you. Addiction is a biology that is well understood now. If you don't believe you are an addict, then stop. And if you can't stop, then it is a very powerful biology that requires intensive treatment.

10:52🔗 Adam That's right.

10:53🔗 Caller And Drew is laughing all the way to the bank.

10:55🔗 Adam Chris?

10:56🔗 Caller I wish.

10:57🔗 Adam Chris? Yeah? You are 21.

10:59🔗 What's up?

11:01🔗 Caller My girlfriend, well I was in jail, like a little while ago, for like two or three months. And my girlfriend admitted to cheating on me with three girls.

11:10🔗 I see.

11:10🔗 Adam Parole violation? What got you into who's account?

11:14🔗 Drew Oh, probation violation, yeah.

11:15🔗 Adam That's way off.

11:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:17🔗 Adam What were you in the first time for?

11:19🔗 Caller Well, second degree assault with a handgun.

11:21🔗 Adam I see. Good times.

11:24🔗 Yeah.

11:24🔗 Adam What were you doing?

11:26🔗 Caller Well, I was only 16 when it happened.

11:27🔗 Drew Oh, well that excuses it. That makes it much better.

11:30🔗 Yeah.

11:31🔗 Caller Well, I don't know, I just thought I was cool, so I was carrying a gun around and this kid started a fight with me and he was a lot bigger than me, so I got scared and I didn't shoot him, I just like hit him with it.

11:41🔗 Adam Just a little pistol whippa?

11:43🔗 Yeah, just a little pistol whippa.

11:45🔗 Adam Alright, so now you're out and your girl has hooked up with a couple of ladies while you're in and this disturbs you?

11:55🔗 Caller No, she's less interested in having sex with me and I was just wondering, I knew she was bisexual when I first started going out with her. We've been together for a year and a half and we used to have sex a lot but now it's like once a week, once every two weeks.

12:13🔗 Adam Yeah, how old is she?

12:14🔗 Caller She's 19.

12:16🔗 Adam She's a little chaotic though, right?

12:17🔗 Oh yeah.

12:19🔗 Adam Yeah? Well, I mean not relative to you. She's not doing any hard time but she's got some energy this one, right?

12:27🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah she does.

12:28🔗 Drew What drugs is she doing?

12:29🔗 Caller What?

12:30🔗 Drew What drugs is she doing?

12:31🔗 Caller She actually doesn't do drugs. She drinks.

12:34🔗 Drew Oh, okay, well there's one.

12:36🔗 Adam Okay, and you guys don't have any kids, do you?

12:38🔗 Caller No.

12:39🔗 Adam Don't, please, don't have any kids. You understand that concept, Chris?

12:43🔗 Caller I understand.

12:44🔗 Adam Good. Are you, you have contraception? No, no. Chris?

12:48🔗 Drew How are you planning not to have kids, then?

12:50🔗 Caller I don't know. I don't think she can have kids.

12:52🔗 Drew Why?

12:53🔗 Caller Well, because we've been having sex for a year and a half.

12:54🔗 Drew Well, she will.

12:55🔗 Adam I knew it.

12:56🔗 She will. I knew it.

12:56🔗 Drew She will have some kids.

12:57🔗 Adam Chris. Chris, listen to me. Listen. Do not have a kid with this crazy bisexual alcoholic chick. And if she was on the phone, I'd say, do not have a kid with this crazy felon.

13:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:11🔗 Adam You guys should not be having a kid and you have to take some responsibility for your life, Chris. I mean, you're not going back into prison, right?

13:20🔗 Caller No, hopefully.

13:21🔗 Adam You're getting yourself. Hold on, Drew, would you fart? Holy Christ. Holy Christ. Jesus Christ. I wish I was in the can. The joint would be better than the studio right now. Are you kidding me? There's going to be a full scale, right? Attica. Jesus Christ. I want you.

13:41🔗 Wow.

13:42🔗 Adam Wow. Hey, Drew, come on. Seriously, man. I'm winded. I've had a long day. You know, easy. Chris?

13:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:51🔗 Adam Drew farted on me.

13:53🔗 Caller Yeah, that's pretty sick.

13:54🔗 Drew We've been waiting years for this moment. Andy, are you feeling good about this?

13:58🔗 Caller Jesus.

13:59🔗 Adam Jesus. This is so bad.

14:02🔗 Caller What? What?

14:03🔗 Adam I wish I could breathe through my ass or something. Oh, oh, oh, it's a two-stager. What the?

14:12🔗 Caller Was that a second one?

14:13🔗 Caller Same one?

14:15🔗 Caller Oh my God. The lingerer.

14:20🔗 Adam Oh my God. Chris?

14:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:21🔗 Adam I'm talking to you through my shirt right now.

14:23🔗 Caller Okay.

14:24🔗 Adam Okay. Don't get her pregnant and you ain't going to marry her and she's chaotic, and you think you're going to be together forever, but she's bisexual and something's up with her. You focus on you. You got to get a good job. You got to fight to keep it. You got to take care of things.

14:42🔗 Drew At least get that morning after pill around. Keep that around you guys. But get her on birth control.

14:45🔗 Caller Oh.

14:46🔗 Drew I warned you.

14:47🔗 I'm sorry.

14:50🔗 Adam Like that's going to hold up in court? Your Honor, I told the guy before I bludgeoned him like a seal.

14:57🔗 Drew This is self-defense. I've been through this with you a couple of times.

15:01🔗 Adam That's true, but it's so much funnier when I do it. This is not funny. I really, I need something. I need a charcoal patch that's sewn into my shirt that I can breathe through. Yeah, I need some vapor rub that I can put on my upper lip. I can't believe that I'm being offended by someone else's fart.

15:22🔗 Caller I mean, that's gruesome.

15:25🔗 Adam And you know what? And then I get all worked up and I get out of breath and I suck in more. I got to try to go into some sort of tranquil, zen-type state where my heart is barely beating. Or I lower my pulse, like, sting.

15:39🔗 Drew Right, right.

15:41🔗 Adam Okay. I'm going to try to do that.

15:45🔗 Caller Okay, Kim?

15:46🔗 Caller Hello?

15:48🔗 Drew Hi, Kim. What's up?

15:50🔗 Caller Hello. Hi. Who is this?

15:52🔗 Adam Okay. Kim?

15:54🔗 Caller Kim, hello?

15:55🔗 Drew Yeah, Kim. What's going on?

15:57🔗 Caller Um, is this Dr. Drew?

15:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:59🔗 Caller Hi. Um, I'm, there was a guy on your show a couple of weeks ago and he said he was masturbating four times a day.

16:06🔗 Caller And you said that that was a lot for a guy.

16:09🔗 Drew That's a lot.

16:10🔗 Caller And I'm masturbating, today I masturbated 11 times.

16:14🔗 Drew Eleven times?

16:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:15🔗 Caller And I usually do at least two.

16:18🔗 Adam Right.

16:19🔗 Caller And I'm not, this is totally serious. I know it sounds...

16:22🔗 Adam Well, what's with Easter coming up? You're making a run or how's it go? Why 11 today?

16:28🔗 Caller Just because I had the day off.

16:30🔗 Adam I see.

16:31🔗 Caller Okay.

16:32🔗 Adam Good times. And you think that's too much?

16:36🔗 Caller Well, I know it's too much because, yeah, it is too much.

16:40🔗 Caller I don't know any other, anybody else that masts...

16:43🔗 Drew Are you sexually active? Yeah. Are you compulsive that way? Do you have sex with lots of guys?

16:49🔗 Caller Not anymore. I'm trying to get out of that phase.

16:51🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused when you were a child?

16:53🔗 Caller Not that I can remember, but I don't remember a lot.

16:55🔗 Caller My older sister and my older brother tell me things sometimes I don't remember.

16:59🔗 Drew Like what?

17:00🔗 Adam You know, let me tell you about abuse. I was nasally raped by Drew's anus just moments ago. Go ahead.

17:07🔗 Caller Okay. This is scary. I don't like being on the air. But they don't tell me things bad. They just, you know, like stupid things like, you know, trips to Disneyland or whatever that I don't even remember. So I know that I don't remember some things from my childhood. So maybe I don't remember being sexually abused.

17:23🔗 Drew Well, that may be. Is there any manic depression in your family?

17:27🔗 Caller Yeah, there's a lot.

17:27🔗 Caller And there's a lot of alcoholism.

17:29🔗 Drew All right. So this either this may be addiction, it may be bipolar, it may be consequence of abuse or maybe some combination. But being sexually compulsive is caused by these sorts of phenomenon. And it's not anything to be ashamed of, but it's something that if it's causing you to induce, to interact in ways that are self-destructive, like lots of partners and these sort of things you don't really want to be doing.

17:51🔗 Caller Well, I don't really have lots of partners anymore, but I mean...

17:53🔗 Adam Oh, who's got time?

17:55🔗 Caller It gets old when you're always home masturbating. You know what I mean? Like I don't have time to do anything else.

17:59🔗 Adam Do you have a vibrator?

18:01🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a vibrator and I have a lot of porn.

18:03🔗 Adam What's its name?

18:05🔗 Caller Actually, I've named it a couple of times, but I can never keep its name.

18:08🔗 Adam I see.

18:09🔗 Caller It's happening right now.

18:11🔗 Adam A real big payoff to that question, wasn't it?

18:15🔗 I'm sorry.

18:17🔗 Adam I see. No, it's not your fault. I just thought we were going to get a nice name out of that thing. What kind of porn do you watch?

18:24🔗 Caller Actually, it's regular porn. It's straight porn.

18:29🔗 Adam Okay. Why does that take ten minutes, by the way?

18:31🔗 Caller Ten minutes? What takes ten minutes?

18:34🔗 Adam Okay, baby. How about a little therapy?

18:36🔗 Drew Okay. Or maybe talk to somebody that deals with sexual compulsivity and bipolar illness. I mean, there are specialized treatments specifically for that.

18:44🔗 Adam Yeah. You know what this show is really famous for?

18:46🔗 Drew What?

18:47🔗 Adam These long, secure, this-

18:49🔗 Drew They go nowhere.

18:50🔗 Adam Basic answer.

18:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:52🔗 Adam Like you go like, what did you do today? Today?

18:56🔗 Drew What do you mean?

18:57🔗 Adam That's an interesting question. Well, I'll be honest. I went to work. You're like, okay, I thought something was coming there.

19:05🔗 Drew Well, we've talked about this a lot. It's that I'm not going to answer the man's question.

19:11🔗 Adam Yeah. I understand it's a little bit tricky. Like what kind of porn? But just saying, yeah, straight porn. I thought I was going to get some lesbian or something. All right. So therapy there, Drew?

19:21🔗 Drew Well, yeah. If it's bipolar, my medication, if it's sexual compulsivity-

19:25🔗 Adam Psychiatrist first?

19:26🔗 Drew 12-step program. Doctor first? Yeah.

19:28🔗 Adam Then psychiatrist? Yeah. I'm going to need some extra therapy this week for the post-traumatic stress disorder.

19:35🔗 Drew You may have to. If you survive.

19:37🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm going to be scared to be in a room like two years from now. I'll be at a party. Someone will close the door. No, no, no. Shut the door. Don't shut it. Joey?

19:49🔗 Drew Joey?

19:50🔗 Caller Joey, yeah.

19:51🔗 Drew What's up?

19:51🔗 Caller Hey. Hi, guys.

19:52🔗 Adam You got a full moon today?

19:54🔗 Caller No, that's a few nights ago.

19:55🔗 Adam All right, Joey. What's up?

19:57🔗 Caller Well, last night you were talking to a fourteen-year-old girl who lost her virginity. And yester she drank or had some pot before and she said she had smoked a little doobie.

20:07🔗 Drew No, no. The deal was.

20:08🔗 Adam She said she drank.

20:09🔗 Drew I remember this call. She was saying that most fourteen-year-olds that act out compulsive. You know, it's all of a sudden with a guy. Attach a lot of fantasy to the guy and he's going to be he's going to be great. He's going to be my savior. He's going to be I'm going to marry him. And her thing was, hey, I just want to have sex. And it just sounded interesting and it's sort of a very rousing experience for her. And I thought, oh, addict. That's an addict. So I knew she was doing drugs when she.

20:31🔗 Caller Yeah. Dr. Drew, you used this expression, distraction and arousal. I think that was it. Something like that.

20:37🔗 Drew I might use a word like that.

20:39🔗 Caller And so I started thinking about that. And I always like to get high before I have sex. It's not that I have to. I don't have to smoke pot. But I don't want to have sex without smoking pot.

20:51🔗 Drew Well, then you have to.

20:53🔗 Caller Well, sex when I'm not high pales in comparison to when I'm high. It's so much better.

21:00🔗 Adam All right. I'll buy that. How much pot do you smoke when your nuts grow enough?

21:08🔗 Caller I probably smoke pot a couple of times a week.

21:11🔗 Adam Or maybe four or five?

21:13🔗 Caller Maybe some weeks four or five, but some weeks I'll go a couple of weeks without smoking at all.

21:18🔗 Adam No, not very often.

21:20🔗 Caller Not that often.

21:20🔗 Adam It's been a long time.

21:22🔗 Caller That's a long time.

21:22🔗 Adam All right. How long have you been smoking the weed?

21:25🔗 Drew 20 years.

21:26🔗 Adam Been a while.

21:26🔗 Caller 12, 15 years.

21:28🔗 Drew And what are the drugs? Are you on medication or something now?

21:30🔗 Caller No.

21:31🔗 Drew Are you doing other drugs?

21:32🔗 Caller Well, I used to do coke, but I don't do that anymore.

21:34🔗 Drew Anything else right now?

21:35🔗 Adam Alcohol? No.

21:37🔗 Caller Alcohol doesn't really interest me.

21:39🔗 Adam Now how's the weed treatin you? I mean, you work.

21:41🔗 Caller It mellows me out. You know, it feels like I can be me.

21:44🔗 Adam Okay. You, the guy who smokes a lot of weed?

21:48🔗 Caller What's that?

21:50🔗 Adam You, the hessher?

21:52🔗 Drew Is it working less well than it used to?

21:54🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

21:54🔗 Drew Yeah. And that's part of the dependency syndrome with marijuana. And what eventually will start happening is you'll start getting depressed and you'll start smoking more pot because the real me is not this depressed guy.

22:04🔗 Adam Okay, Drew. That's sounding like reefer madness now.

22:07🔗 Drew Well, it is. That's what's going to happen.

22:09🔗 Adam Hey, Joey?

22:10🔗 Caller Yeah?

22:10🔗 Adam You got yourself a girlfriend or a wife?

22:13🔗 Caller I used to be married. Got divorced.

22:15🔗 Adam I see. But you're working now?

22:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:18🔗 Drew What was the divorce about? I'm curious.

22:20🔗 Caller Uh, not enough good sex.

22:23🔗 Drew What else was she complaining about?

22:25🔗 Caller No, I was complaining. She didn't want to have sex. She didn't like it.

22:29🔗 Adam Really?

22:29🔗 Drew And what was her complaint with the relationship?

22:32🔗 Caller She didn't have a lot. She didn't want to end it. I did.

22:34🔗 Adam Interesting. Okay. At a nice dead end, you went down there, Joe.

22:39🔗 Drew No, it was interesting.

22:40🔗 Adam Yeah, sure it was. Joey?

22:41🔗 Yeah?

22:42🔗 Adam I know, but you were getting at something. You didn't get to it.

22:44🔗 What was that?

22:45🔗 Adam Now, I'll yell at him later. Don't worry about him. I got a whole laundry list of things. I'm starting with his anus and I'm working myself up.

22:52🔗 Drew That's my rectum.

22:53🔗 Adam It's rectum. Yes, not the anus. What's the difference between the anus and the rectum? Is the rectum in the anus, past the anus?

22:59🔗 Drew We get the pictures again?

22:59🔗 Adam No. I don't want to see if it's the sphincter.

23:01🔗 Drew I think it's a different number of letters.

23:02🔗 Adam The anus is the sphincter.

23:03🔗 Drew Rectum is where things are curing.

23:05🔗 Adam Yeah. There's some curing going on.

23:07🔗 Drew Rectum.

23:07🔗 Adam Crap. Yeah. You really got like half a smoked ham up there right now, curing. Joey. Keep smoking the weed. You're doing fine, buddy.

23:18🔗 Caller Right. Do you think I'm addicted to it?

23:20🔗 Adam Sounds like it.

23:21🔗 Drew Yeah. Something's going on. You don't sound badly addicted. You don't fit the... You're only sort of marginally fitting the profile. That's why I was thinking you might be on some other medication. They're doing something else to sort of gratify that system.

23:31🔗 Adam But what about a guy like Joey here who is not smoking every day, although it's a little... calm down. A little more than he thinks, than he meant. Says he can take a couple of weeks off, although he doesn't take too many weeks off. But he really enjoys his weed and he likes to smoke it when he's having sex and it's a good sensation for him. Can a guy like this keep an eye on himself?

23:53🔗 Drew Here's... maybe. And the problem with Joey's situation is there's nothing to motivate him to stop or to get better, so he's not going to.

24:00🔗 Adam No, and he likes it when he has sex.

24:02🔗 Drew And what's going to happen is, and this is what I was predicting, is that there's going to be consequences down the line from this. The years of exposure to this will have consequences. And that's when he'll start needing to do something about this. So when that time comes, he will.

24:14🔗 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. I'm going to go vomit in a ficus plant right outside the door. Drew.

24:21🔗 Yeah.

24:22🔗 Adam I'd like to do, I'd like to give you away a hot coffee enema and then I would like you to lie flat on your back and I will stomp on your stomach ringing you drive all gas.

24:32🔗 Drew I will be comfortable more comfortable than what I'm dealing with now.

24:35🔗 All right.

24:35🔗 Adam We'll be back after this.

24:38🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

25:10🔗 Caller Hi, this is David Spade. When I'm driving out and listening to the radio, if there's absolutely nothing on any other station, I listen to Love Line with Adam and Drew because I'm naughty.

25:20🔗 Adam Yes, he is.

25:21🔗 Drew Nice.

25:22🔗 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew over there, the ass man, and I'm your humble host, Adam Corolla.

25:32🔗 Drew You're brought down humble tonight, humble host.

25:35🔗 Adam Now, I got three matches in front of me.

25:39🔗 Drew He's like survivor.

25:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

25:41🔗 Drew Really?

25:42🔗 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, the last match, you know what I'm going to do with it?

25:48🔗 Drew Shove it up my ass.

25:51🔗 Adam Hold on, I'm going to grab a scratch pad.

25:52🔗 Caller That's not a bad plan.

25:54🔗 Adam All right. Now, when I liked the last match, because I can't chance putting it out and being absent of flame after that, in case another one comes down the fire, pick out a piece of furniture or something and just keep it going.

26:10🔗 Caller You know what I mean? Okay.

26:12🔗 Adam All right. Let's get back to the phones. Are we really working Easter? We got to work Easter?

26:19🔗 Drew Really? Yeah.

26:22🔗 Adam Am I surprised at that every year? Or do we always work Easter? I guess we do. Do we always work Easter?

26:31🔗 Drew I don't think so.

26:32🔗 Adam I always thought we had Easter off.

26:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:35🔗 Adam I'm a very religious man.

26:38🔗 Drew Oh, I know. Spiritual. That's how I describe you. People ask about you.

26:41🔗 Adam Yeah. And that is my people's Sabbath.

26:45🔗 Drew And tonight I'm going to see to it that you have a spiritual experience.

26:47🔗 Adam Oh, my God. I may have an out of body experience. We worked last year on Easter, right? That's why we should have this Easter off. Janice.

26:59🔗 Caller Yes.

27:00🔗 Adam Year thirty nine.

27:01🔗 Caller Yes.

27:01🔗 Adam What's up?

27:03🔗 Caller I'm trying to figure out why my doctor did not want to give me the morning after pill.

27:10🔗 Drew Did he say why or she?

27:12🔗 Caller He asked me, why don't you just use regular birth control?

27:15🔗 Drew Well, that's a viable question because it's only seventy percent effective. And if you want birth control, if you want to be prepared, you should be on the pill.

27:24🔗 Caller I'm not that active with my spouse.

27:28🔗 Adam Interesting.

27:28🔗 Caller Very, very rare.

27:29🔗 Drew How often is it?

27:32🔗 Caller Once every three months tops.

27:34🔗 Adam Same guy or just a sailor blows into town? Same guy. Where is he?

27:40🔗 Caller He's living in the same house. He's just talking very nasty to me all the time and it's not very arousing.

27:48🔗 Drew You're going to like him.

27:49🔗 Adam So is this your husband?

27:51🔗 Caller Yes.

27:52🔗 Adam So you give it to him four times a year?

27:56🔗 Caller When he's pleasant and...

27:58🔗 Drew But this is not a good situation, let's face it.

28:00🔗 Caller Pardon me?

28:01🔗 Drew The relationship is very disturbed.

28:03🔗 Caller Yes.

28:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:04🔗 Adam How about you get out of the relationship?

28:09🔗 Caller I've been thinking about that, yes.

28:12🔗 Drew That would be a much more viable question than more appropriate contraception because the morning after pill is not met.

28:18🔗 Caller But I'm wondering why my doctor was like that. I also have a couple of other questions.

28:23🔗 Drew Well, let me just say that he probably was looking for contraception rather than emergency backup measures for you.

28:28🔗 Caller Okay.

28:29🔗 Adam Do you have any kids?

28:30🔗 Caller Two.

28:31🔗 Adam How old are they?

28:33🔗 Caller Six and seven.

28:34🔗 Adam How does he treat them?

28:36🔗 Caller He is nice most of the time, but sometimes he has little tantrums. Okay.

28:43🔗 Drew What are your other questions?

28:45🔗 Caller My other question is about UA's and niacin's with marijuana. I've heard that in testing. I also want to confront Alan because he always tells the women not to go have more babies, and he doesn't tell the men not to go have more babies.

29:04🔗 Caller Zip it, you nag.

29:05🔗 Caller Okay, Alan.

29:07🔗 Adam A screwball?

29:08🔗 Caller Yes.

29:08🔗 Adam Earth a screwball? Remember, hold on, hold on there.

29:13🔗 Caller Okay.

29:13🔗 Adam Remember about 13 minutes ago when we had the guy who was the felon who was released from prison, who called in?

29:22🔗 Caller Please turn the radio down. I couldn't hear everything.

29:25🔗 Adam All right. I told that idiot not to have any kids about 13 times.

29:29🔗 Caller Okay.

29:30🔗 Adam So how dare you? And believe me, if I...

29:32🔗 Caller No, you say generally 95% to the women. I do hear you do.

29:36🔗 Drew Well, unfortunately right now, unfortunately right now, the contraceptive, a lot of the contraceptive responsibility falls to women. As soon as we have male contraceptives that are good.

29:45🔗 Caller But he doesn't apply the responsibility on the men. And I wonder what he would do with like five pretty 13-year-olds, you know? But I'm wondering about the UA. Hold on.

29:55🔗 Adam What I would do with five?

29:58🔗 Drew I'd clean your van or something.

29:59🔗 Adam I'd nail four of them. I'd tell the fifth to get me a beer.

30:02🔗 Caller No, they're your daughters, I mean.

30:04🔗 Adam Oh, oh, oh.

30:05🔗 Drew All right, then.

30:06🔗 Adam Sorry, just oral.

30:07🔗 Caller Just oral. What would you do with five beautiful 13-year-old daughters?

30:11🔗 Adam What would I do with them?

30:12🔗 Caller Are you going to be talking the same to all these men? That's what I'm saying.

30:18🔗 Adam Hey, baby, are you loaded?

30:20🔗 Caller No.

30:21🔗 Adam Really?

30:22🔗 Caller I'm a little bit wondering.

30:24🔗 Drew You're asking about Pot, though.

30:26🔗 Adam Hold on, Drew, has something else come out of your ass recently?

30:29🔗 Drew It's been a never-ending...

30:30🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I'm going to waste one of my matches, use one of my lifelines.

30:35🔗 Drew You want to call someone? You want to call your lifeline?

30:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I'd like to call my councilman. See if I could have the studio move.

30:44🔗 Caller I just...

30:45🔗 Drew All right, Janice, listen. All right, here, let me answer your question, so you're not feeling we didn't answer it. As far as adulterating your urine, people that test urine look for adulterating agents of all types. And if there's evidence of something being done to the urine, adulterated anyway, that is considered positive.

31:01🔗 Caller One time, at one time, you told somebody that it would take like less than three or four days to get out of their system.

31:08🔗 Drew If they are just, if they smoke just one time and are not a regular chronic smoker, that's for sure the case.

31:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Janice, Janice, you've got to clean up your ass. You hear me?

31:17🔗 Caller Yes, I do.

31:18🔗 Adam For the sake of your kids. Fix up the relationship, get straight, do all that positive stuff. Find Jesus Christ.

31:24🔗 Caller Adam, I don't mean anything personal. I think you do.

31:27🔗 Adam I know I do a wonderful job. Thank you. Oh, my God, that's mama. That is mama to two little six and seven year olds. That's mama.

31:37🔗 Drew Oh, is that what she said?

31:38🔗 Adam She's got two kids. Oh, that's mama right there, making all the important decisions.

31:43🔗 Drew Well, that match is really truly a relief.

31:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, let me give you guys a key to the match. A lot of people don't know this. I learned it from Jimmy breaking wind on me all these years. You light the match and immediately put it out. Immediately and then let the smoke trail. You don't keep the match lit and wave it around. That doesn't do anything. Light it, put it out.

32:03🔗 Drew I know Jimmy is your real true love, but do I compare?

32:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, you're close.

32:09🔗 Drew Just close?

32:09🔗 Adam You may be getting close to his cousin, Sal.

32:12🔗 Caller Oh, yes.

32:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:15🔗 Caller OK.

32:15🔗 Adam So you called about Vicodin 20 minutes ago.

32:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:18🔗 Drew And you had some follow up questions?

32:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:22🔗 Caller That was rude. You guys just cut me off.

32:24🔗 Drew What is the question?

32:25🔗 Caller I want to know what the five day detox you were talking about entails.

32:29🔗 Drew It entails taking medication that makes it a more comfortable experience.

32:32🔗 Caller And what kind of medication?

32:34🔗 Drew I'm not going to go into specifics, because it's different in different programs. You can call Los Encinas. You can call Lindell Adventist. And there are people there that specialize in detox.

32:42🔗 Caller So what happens? I call them, do I have to go somewhere for a month or a week?

32:46🔗 Drew It would be best if you went somewhere for at least a couple of weeks.

32:50🔗 Caller Okay, that is not possible.

32:51🔗 Drew Okay, well, you need to call and talk to them about that.

32:54🔗 Caller Do they have like an outpatient type of thing?

32:56🔗 Drew Not for, well, I know at Los Encinas we won't take opiate addicts for outpatient without any patient.

33:00🔗 Caller Okay, so that's a no. Okay.

33:02🔗 Adam Hey, hey baby. What? Stop busting our chops. What do you mean? Because you called this show because you're strung out on Vicodin. We told you what you need to do. You didn't like those answers and then accused us of blowing you off.

33:17🔗 Caller No, no, no.

33:18🔗 Adam Now you're angry that you have an addiction specialist explaining to you what you need to do.

33:25🔗 Caller And he just did and that's fine, but he's telling me the one place doesn't and that's fine.

33:29🔗 Caller So where can I go?

33:30🔗 Caller Or if I get a doctor.

33:32🔗 Drew Most places will not treat opiate addiction takes a long time and usually takes a high degree of structure inpatient or sober living.

33:39🔗 Caller Okay, so what are you talking about this five-day detox thing? Can I come see you, what can I do?

33:44🔗 Drew Call one of these hospitals, that's an inpatient detox.

33:47🔗 Caller Inpatient, that means I go there after work or?

33:49🔗 Drew No, you go in the hospital and you get detox.

33:53🔗 Adam Jade, you got to call them and let them figure out what you need to do, okay?

33:57🔗 Caller Okay, so I have two places here, Los Encinas just got a big no. What about the Glendale Avenue?

34:03🔗 Drew Let me specify again.

34:04🔗 Adam Oh my god.

34:05🔗 Drew In the vast majority of situations, opiate addiction is not an outpatient detox.

34:10🔗 Caller Okay.

34:10🔗 Drew Not.

34:12🔗 Caller Why don't we?

34:12🔗 Drew You're looking for an easy way out of this. This is a serious addiction. It's like you're doing the equivalent to arguing with someone who wants to put you in a coronary care unit after a heart attack because you don't think you need it. No, I need it. All right, then just call the places and get the treatment. I'm going to hang up because you need to make the calls now.

34:30🔗 Adam Really?

34:31🔗 Caller All right, I can't help it.

34:32🔗 Adam It's like a bad tooth.

34:33🔗 Caller Jade, are you satisfied with that? Jade?

34:36🔗 Adam Okay, well, she did hang up. Good. What a lovely, lovely individual. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that was a Vicodin token. Okay. Maybe I'm a prick, but you call the show, you want answers, we give you the answers, and now you got to do it. It's not open for debate. Maybe, maybe other people have other opinions. Maybe you could talk to somebody that maybe, but it's not us. That's our opinion.

35:02🔗 Drew I don't do opiate addictions in outpatient because it never works, ever.

35:06🔗 Adam Well, do you think if Jade came in a couple hours, three times a week and went back home, it would work for her?

35:12🔗 Drew No, no way.

35:14🔗 Adam Amber? She doesn't have two weeks. Meanwhile, two years goes by. What's up, Amber?

35:19🔗 Drew I hope that works.

35:20🔗 Adam You're 15. What's going on?

35:21🔗 Caller Okay. Last night, I heard somebody call. They said when they give their boyfriend a blowjob, it tastes really bad. When I give my boyfriend a blowjob, it tastes like clams and it's really gross. I just want to know what would cause it to taste like that.

35:40🔗 Adam You blowing the Gordon's Fisherman?

35:43🔗 Drew No.

35:43🔗 Adam No. I'm just playing a hunch.

35:45🔗 Drew Clams, I would imagine that would approximate what that would normally taste like.

35:51🔗 Adam At least it tastes like something. I mean something that's edible.

35:56🔗 Caller But it's really clammy. I don't like clams.

35:59🔗 Drew Is this your only experience with this?

36:01🔗 Caller Yeah, but I've had my friends and stuff and they said it didn't taste like clams.

36:05🔗 Adam Well, here's the deal. It's high time I give my BJ speech again to all the ladies.

36:09🔗 Drew It's not going to be marshmallows.

36:10🔗 Adam You do not have to ingest it. Just use your mouth as a receptacle and then spit it somewhere far, far away.

36:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:19🔗 Adam You can handle that.

36:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:21🔗 Adam Well, you're 15. Why don't you slow down? There.

36:23🔗 Caller I've covered myself.

36:24🔗 Caller Okay.

36:24🔗 Adam But what I'm saying is, is I've taken a swig of bad milk at the fridge door a hundred times. It goes in the mouth. I walk over the sink. I spit in the sink. I rinse my mouth out.

36:35🔗 Caller I'm good. You know what I'm saying?

36:37🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

36:39🔗 Drew You're talking about how you engage in this act.

36:41🔗 Adam Yeah. You don't have to swallow it and then take a little from the penis and put it behind your ear.

36:47🔗 Drew Sour milk is just a euphemism for Jimmy, I guess.

36:51🔗 Caller Right.

36:52🔗 Adam Thank you for seeing through it.

36:53🔗 Drew You know, just thinking about that, Jade might not want to talk to her about what the specifics were of how somebody goes through opiate detox. I mean, I really just wouldn't. I didn't want to talk to her about it. I thought that I couldn't go into a lot of specifics, but she would argue every single medication and what they do. I don't want to discuss it with her, nor would it help her. She needs to just go do it.

37:11🔗 Adam She was a little hostile, I think. Oh. Yes, I am. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to John.

37:18🔗 Caller John is 21.

37:19🔗 Adam Last three girlfriends have cheated on him.

37:21🔗 Caller He wants to know what the problem could be.

37:23🔗 Adam I'm bet it's something to do with John after this.

37:27🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:28🔗 Adam We'll be right back. Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew, our guest tonight, Dr. Drew's rectum. Oh, yes. Got some gas going, and I'm down to two matches. So, and you know, they don't make any noise either, so I'm never going to place tricks on your mind. You know, you never know. You just don't know.

38:21🔗 Drew Or you'll know.

38:24🔗 Adam Yeah, but after the fabric in the studio is thoroughly emulsified and saturated, it's kind of hard to tell.

38:33🔗 Caller Right, right.

38:35🔗 Drew Yeah, I don't know. I'm so sorry.

38:37🔗 Adam Something happening now?

38:39🔗 Drew Not at the moment.

38:40🔗 Adam What do you speculate? You ate some garlic?

38:42🔗 Drew Yes.

38:44🔗 Adam For lunch?

38:44🔗 Yep.

38:46🔗 Adam Could you never do that again?

38:48🔗 Drew If God willing.

38:50🔗 Adam How about you go in the bathroom and make? Have a nice BM.?

38:54🔗 Drew It won't help.

38:56🔗 Adam Really?

38:56🔗 Drew Really.

38:57🔗 Caller Really?

38:58🔗 Drew Really.

38:59🔗 Caller Why not?

39:00🔗 Drew Because there's no end to what the bacteria produce.

39:04🔗 Adam But a good Duke will sometimes take the wind out of your gas sail, right?

39:08🔗 Drew No.

39:09🔗 Adam It doesn't?

39:09🔗 Drew No.

39:09🔗 Adam It does for me. That's why I save it. I don't want to shoot my load too early in the day. Really? But doesn't it work that way for most people?

39:21🔗 Drew No. Not when the methane is being produced by the bacteria. Once the bacteria get a hold of something, they'll start producing that. That's it.

39:27🔗 Adam Nice. John?

39:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:30🔗 How's it going?

39:31🔗 Adam You're 21.

39:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:32🔗 Adam Last three girlfriends have cheated on you?

39:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:34🔗 Caller As a matter of fact, they have.

39:36🔗 Adam I see. Long term relationships?

39:39🔗 Caller No. A couple months. About three months. I think the longest was like four.

39:44🔗 Adam Who do they cheat with?

39:46🔗 Caller Mostly people they work with or I guess people that come across at school or whatever. I don't go to school full time, so I don't see them all that much.

39:58🔗 Adam You ever cheat on them?

39:59🔗 Caller No.

40:01🔗 Adam How do you find out they've been cheating?

40:03🔗 Caller Sometimes they'll tell me. It's mostly the whole, it's not you, it's me thing. I'm not ready to commit and I don't want to be.

40:12🔗 Adam No. All right. Well, that's not really cheating. That's just them never really being too into the relationship.

40:19🔗 Drew Is there any quality they all had in common?

40:22🔗 Caller Not really. I met them all at school.

40:25🔗 Drew Were they long shots for you? Were these people that...

40:28🔗 Adam A little over your head?

40:30🔗 Caller I don't think so. I thought that's kind of why I approached them is because I thought I had a shot with them.

40:36🔗 Adam Well as we talked about last week, like 19, 20 year old girls, it is their world. You just hang on as long as you can.

40:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:47🔗 Adam Yeah. It's tough. It's a tough few years. The tables begin to slowly turn in your direction at a certain point as the years wear on. But, I don't know. Why don't you just date around then and just sort of beat them at their own game?

41:04🔗 Caller Okay. It's kind of tough because I'm in the military, so I'm not really around all that much.

41:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:10🔗 Drew Are they maybe concerned about you leaving and not want to get involved because you're not going to be?

41:14🔗 Caller I think that might be it too because I just got orders.

41:17🔗 Adam Where are you going?

41:19🔗 Caller No. I just move up to where I am now from Southern California.

41:22🔗 Adam I see. What branch are you in?

41:24🔗 Caller Air Force.

41:24🔗 Adam Best branch.

41:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:26🔗 Adam What do you do?

41:27🔗 Caller I'm a radio technician.

41:29🔗 Adam I see. What do you do? Do you deal with the radio?

41:34🔗 Caller Yeah. Anything that the transmitter sees the signal on the airplane is mine.

41:37🔗 Adam That's going to come in real handy in the outside world.

41:40🔗 I'll tell you that.

41:41🔗 Caller Definitely.

41:42🔗 Yeah.

41:42🔗 Adam All right there, buddy. Well, listen, there's no simple answer here. You find yourself a good woman and you know what? Everyone's got to do this. Everyone's got to get their radar in, and speaking of radio transmissions here. I mean, you got to get a vibe off of somebody, whether they're a good person, whether they're an honest person. You know, there's a lot of people that are in relationships and they're like, I don't know, I think they're stepping out of the sheet. I don't trust them.

42:08🔗 Drew You need to begin assessing reality realistically.

42:12🔗 Caller Let me write that down.

42:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:14🔗 Caller All right.

42:14🔗 Adam It's a learning process, though. He's 21.

42:17🔗 Caller He's fine.

42:18🔗 Okay. Mark? Yeah. Hey, Adam Corolla.

42:22🔗 Caller Hey.

42:23🔗 Funniest guy alive.

42:24🔗 Adam That's right.

42:25🔗 Listen to the show every night and watch the Man Show whenever I can.

42:28🔗 Adam Thank you. You're Virgin?

42:31🔗 Yes.

42:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Can always hear it.

42:33🔗 What?

42:33🔗 Adam Yeah. Because you're 16 and we have 16 year old guys who call this show.

42:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:38🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

42:41🔗 Caller Yeah. Before even getting to my problem, I got to say that you must do a lightning round this show.

42:46🔗 Adam Oh yeah. The lightning round.

42:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:48🔗 Adam Yeah. I will do that. Let me make a note here. For a lightning round.

42:53🔗 Caller Fine.

42:53🔗 Drew Lightning round.

42:53🔗 Caller Come on. All right.

42:54🔗 Drew Good times.

42:55🔗 Adam All right.

42:56🔗 Drew All right, Mark. What's up? What did you call about?

42:59🔗 Caller Actually, that was it.

43:00🔗 Caller I don't really want to waste your time.

43:01🔗 Caller I know you disconnect people who make up their questions.

43:03🔗 Adam Great.

43:04🔗 Caller Goodbye.

43:04🔗 Drew All right, Mark.

43:05🔗 Adam Thanks, buddy. Good times.

43:06🔗 Caller Wow.

43:08🔗 Adam You have like a pot boiling or something. Sarah?

43:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:11🔗 Adam You're fifteen?

43:12🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

43:13🔗 Adam What's up there, Sparky?

43:17🔗 Caller Well, like after sex, or not really after sex, but like after like things go on down there and stuff, like the lips and the clores like swell and they're like big for like a long time.

43:32🔗 Caller How long?

43:33🔗 Caller Well, today was like five hours.

43:36🔗 Drew What is it that's going on down there?

43:39🔗 Caller Just like any like physical contact, like a lot of touching or like a lot of sex.

43:44🔗 Drew What kind of sex?

43:46🔗 Caller A lot.

43:47🔗 Adam A lot of sex?

43:48🔗 Caller Yeah, like at one time.

43:49🔗 Drew Are you irritating the area? Is it too much?

43:51🔗 Caller I think so.

43:52🔗 Drew Okay, why don't you kind of hang back a little bit? It communicates your partner what it is you actually, what actually makes you happy.

43:59🔗 Caller Okay.

44:01🔗 Caller You never thought of that, huh?

44:02🔗 Drew Interesting.

44:03🔗 Adam How old is the guy?

44:04🔗 Caller Sixteen.

44:05🔗 Adam And are you having intercourse?

44:07🔗 Caller Yes.

44:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:08🔗 Adam Are you using protection?

44:10🔗 Caller Yes.

44:10🔗 Caller Yeah?

44:12🔗 Drew It is a huge mistake to be so concerned about making him happy. That is a big mistake.

44:17🔗 Caller Right.

44:17🔗 Adam You got to focus on me. Don't worry about these guys.

44:20🔗 Caller Oh, I know. I wasn't really sure what it was though.

44:23🔗 Drew Well, it's an irritation, it sounds like.

44:25🔗 Caller Okay.

44:26🔗 Adam He's going too hard for too long.

44:29🔗 Caller Okay.

44:29🔗 Adam Yeah, that's your vagina rejecting the penis. It's saying it needs a break.

44:35🔗 Caller Okay.

44:36🔗 Caller All right?

44:37🔗 Caller Okay, thank you.

44:37🔗 Adam All right, easy, baby.

44:39🔗 Caller Okay.

44:39🔗 Caller All right.

44:40🔗 Caller Bye.

44:40🔗 Caller All right.

44:42🔗 Adam She had that squeaky voice.

44:45🔗 Caller Hold on.

44:46🔗 Adam Let's see, is she around Sarah?

44:48🔗 Caller Still there?

44:48🔗 Caller No.

44:48🔗 Caller All right.

44:49🔗 Caller She's lucky.

44:50🔗 Adam I could have got to some gambling on her.

44:52🔗 Caller Possibly, yeah.

44:54🔗 Drew A little bit too active.

44:55🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

44:56🔗 Adam Nobody would hold still for me when I was 16.

45:00🔗 Caller Are you kidding?

45:00🔗 Adam Drew, you had a girlfriend, right?

45:04🔗 Caller Eric? Yeah.

45:05🔗 Adam You're 15?

45:06🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

45:07🔗 Adam What's up?

45:09🔗 Caller I was asking about Oxycontin for Drew. I was just wondering what are the effects of it and how addictive is it?

45:16🔗 Drew Opiate, heroin.

45:18🔗 Caller Really?

45:18🔗 Drew Same stuff.

45:19🔗 Caller That bad?

45:20🔗 Drew Same thing.

45:22🔗 Adam When you say same thing.

45:23🔗 Drew Well, because if I say opiate, they go, oh, and if I say it's derived from opium, nothing. But if I say it's the same class, essentially the same compound as heroin, oh, oh my God.

45:37🔗 Adam Yeah, but you say Vicodin is an opiate and the same thing and I've had Vicodin and it didn't do anything.

45:42🔗 Drew Heroin might not do anything to you.

45:43🔗 Adam Oh, really?

45:44🔗 Drew You guys should try that.

45:46🔗 Adam Eric?

45:47🔗 Caller Yeah, so how many times do you think will you have to do to get addicted to it?

45:54🔗 Drew Well, the fact that you asked that question suggests you're an addict, period.

45:59🔗 Caller I've only done it a couple of times.

46:00🔗 Drew I understand. I don't mean you're addicted. I mean you're an addict. You have the biology.

46:03🔗 Caller Yeah, I do have that in my family. Everyone's an alcoholic or a drug addict.

46:07🔗 Drew Well, you get off on this one at 15 and it'd be unlikely you'd get back from this. That is a very serious addiction. Do not F around with this stuff.

46:16🔗 Adam Eric, understand what you have is to be treated like a medical condition. You can't screw around with it. You can experiment like the other kids. Because you're liable to get going with it in 10 years. It's going to pass in the blink of an eye and you're going to be strung out.

46:32🔗 Drew I bet you've already had sort of a POW experience with it and you think about it all the time. And you do that a couple more times and your whole life is going to be focused on this.

46:41🔗 Adam It's easy, relatively easy now for you not to do it anymore. And 6 months from now or 3 months from now and then for the rest of your life it could be really difficult. So why don't you just not do it now? While it's easy. You understand? Alright, you've heard what happens when these 29 year old bitches call this show and they're strung out and they're angry. Life's a mess.

47:07🔗 Caller I can vouch for that viking girl. I have someone, a girl also who is addicted to viking and she's just like that.

47:13🔗 Drew You get that way at 15 and that is difficult. That's almost impossible to come back from because you miss the whole development of adolescence.

47:20🔗 Adam Alright, we'll be back.

47:22🔗 Caller Love Line, Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:25🔗 Adam We'll be right back. It's a love line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew, how's your colon? Is it settled in?

48:17🔗 Drew Sorry. You should have spent your time doing those five minutes, finding more matches. You should have gone on a whole grail search.

48:26🔗 Adam I was thinking of doing the hyperventilation, because if I hyperventilate like one of those free divers, I think I could hold my breath for like 20 minutes.

48:36🔗 Caller Oh, good.

48:39🔗 Drew During the hyperventilation, you might endure some serious punishment.

48:43🔗 Adam Drew, I was going to do it down the block. All right. Drew and I were just having a discussion about the Gay Pride Parade that we're involved in coming up on the 20th of May, I believe it is. And I know it just sounds like I don't want to do it, but I really started thinking about specific parades, specific group parades. I'm generally against them. Are you against them, Drew? I know you're trying to be fair.

49:09🔗 Drew I'm in favor of the notion that we don't separate ourselves into small little groups. I mean, people want to celebrate small, small groups. I understand that.

49:18🔗 Adam Like Super Bowl parties?

49:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:21🔗 Adam Nothing bigger than a Super Bowl party?

49:23🔗 Drew I mean, it just seems too nationalistic.

49:25🔗 Adam Now where are you on the Marty Grah Rose Bowl party parades?

49:32🔗 Drew I'm OK with that.

49:32🔗 Adam You are?

49:33🔗 Caller Why?

49:34🔗 Drew Just because those are just events.

49:36🔗 Adam General parades.

49:37🔗 Drew Spectacles.

49:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:38🔗 Drew They don't mean anything. They don't mean anything.

49:40🔗 Adam Yeah. I think it's sort of ironic, though, that the groups that are having the parades are basically saying that they needed to be included in society. But yet they break off from society and march and demonstrate. I know there's a certain amount of that necessary depending on what society you're living. But we haven't gotten far enough as a society where you can just be gay and go about your business or whatever you are and go about your business. Do you know what I'm saying?

50:09🔗 Drew Remember that white supremacist they called us a couple days ago?

50:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

50:12🔗 Drew He ruins it for everybody.

50:14🔗 Adam Well what about if he has a parade? Do I got to get involved with that? Really? Just to be even handed?

50:21🔗 I don't know.

50:23🔗 Caller All right.

50:24🔗 Caller You're not all right. There he is. That's my man.

50:27🔗 Caller There he is. All right.

50:28🔗 Adam Tiffany.

50:29🔗 Hi.

50:30🔗 Adam You're 22.

50:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:31🔗 Adam What's up?

50:32🔗 Caller I have a problem. I've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks, right? He doesn't like to have intercourse.

50:40🔗 Adam What's he like?

50:43🔗 Caller He wants me to watch him masturbate.

50:47🔗 Adam I see.

50:47🔗 Drew What does that do for him? Have you asked him?

50:51🔗 Caller I don't know. It arouses him or something. No, I didn't ask him. One of his requirements is that he wants to give oil sex three times a week from the back. What is that?

51:05🔗 Adam From the back?

51:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:07🔗 Adam You got a porch?

51:08🔗 Drew His requirements? Is this some sort of negotiation you go through? Does he serve you some papers?

51:14🔗 Caller This is what he said.

51:16🔗 Adam I see. And from the back on you, right?

51:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:20🔗 Adam So you get down in some sort of kneeling position and he goes backside.

51:25🔗 Caller I don't know.

51:26🔗 Adam Yeah. That's hardcore, by the way. Those are the guys who are all business with the oral sex. Hey, I tip of the hat to them. They're better men than I am. Yeah.

51:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:36🔗 Adam I do respect it.

51:37🔗 Caller My own wife.

51:38🔗 Drew You're not passionate enough. That's the problem.

51:40🔗 Adam I'm not a passionate enough man.

51:41🔗 Drew You're too apathetic.

51:43🔗 Adam Hey, Tiffany.

51:44🔗 Drew No commitment.

51:45🔗 Adam Why don't you find yourself a nice normal guy who's not all whacked out sexually?

51:51🔗 Caller I mean, he's weird.

51:54🔗 Drew Yeah, right.

51:55🔗 Caller I didn't find out until, you know.

51:56🔗 Drew Well, now you found out and that's part of the dating process. Why not move on?

52:00🔗 Adam What's up with you? I mean, where's your self-esteem at?

52:03🔗 Caller What do you mean?

52:04🔗 Adam Well, a lot of 22 year old women would say, listen, I'm not going to tolerate this.

52:10🔗 Caller Well, you just tell me.

52:11🔗 Caller I thought something was wrong with him.

52:13🔗 Drew Well, when you think that, why don't you then think to yourself, I got to get out of this. This is ridiculous.

52:17🔗 Caller Yeah, I've been avoiding him.

52:19🔗 Drew Okay.

52:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

52:20🔗 Drew You're still not answering the question of why you don't just kind of wrap it up.

52:23🔗 Adam Have you done this though? He's done the masturbation while you're around?

52:27🔗 Caller No.

52:27🔗 Adam No, he's not done it yet?

52:29🔗 Caller No.

52:29🔗 Adam That's just part of his...

52:31🔗 Caller We got into talking about sex and he's telling me, you know, what he likes. I'm like, wow, that's weird.

52:36🔗 Adam That's part of his plan. But he didn't lay out specifically in his plan what he needed you to do while he was masturbating.

52:42🔗 Caller Watch him. That's it.

52:43🔗 Adam That's it?

52:44🔗 Caller That's it.

52:45🔗 Adam Fully clothed?

52:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:47🔗 Adam That sounds like an easy gig.

52:49🔗 Caller What?

52:50🔗 Adam What's the pay?

52:52🔗 Caller Oh, no.

52:53🔗 Adam Hey, Tiffany, you need a nice, normal guy.

52:57🔗 Caller I know.

52:58🔗 Adam All right? Why don't you find that guy?

53:01🔗 Caller Okay.

53:02🔗 Adam This ain't the guy.

53:03🔗 Caller All right.

53:04🔗 Adam All right? All right, baby. Good times, right?

53:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:08🔗 Adam Yeah. You're worth more than that.

53:09🔗 Caller You're right.

53:10🔗 Adam Okay. Hold your head up.

53:12🔗 Caller All righty.

53:12🔗 Caller All right.

53:13🔗 Adam Why don't you let him try one of those backside songs, though?

53:16🔗 Caller No.

53:17🔗 Adam You don't think so?

53:18🔗 Caller No.

53:18🔗 Caller Why not?

53:18🔗 Caller I'm wondering if he was gay or something.

53:20🔗 Caller I don't know.

53:20🔗 Drew No. No. Something's up, but he's fetishisticly inclined.

53:25🔗 Adam Okay.

53:26🔗 Caller All right.

53:27🔗 Adam All right. Thanks. Thank you. Listen, fellas, it's bad to lay out the sexual battle plan too early in the relationship.

53:36🔗 Drew Well, listen, this may not be the extent of his bizarre demands. You understand? This may have been a small dose for him.

53:43🔗 Adam Oh, really? He could have reeled himself in quite a bit.

53:46🔗 Drew Yeah. I have a feeling. That was my sense of this. It's like he delivered that awful too easily.

53:51🔗 Adam And here's the thing, though, by the way, if you're going to if you're dating someone for a couple of weeks and you get into that conversation over a glass of red wine of how it's going to work and what you expect and what you're going to do. You do what I do. You lie, you know, you know what you can expect. I'm going to give you a trail of rose petals, a nice bath.

54:10🔗 Caller I'm going to wash you. I'm going to scrub you.

54:12🔗 Drew I'm going to massage you.

54:14🔗 Adam Foot massage, cuticle push, I'm going to give you the little French manicure there.

54:20🔗 Drew Special smells, special music.

54:22🔗 Adam You'll put all kinds of expensive, nonsense salts into the tub, that smell of lilacs, and then I'm going to lie you down on the bed, give you another massage.

54:32🔗 Caller I should have a question.

54:33🔗 Adam This time a deep tissue massage.

54:35🔗 Caller I'm not done.

54:36🔗 Adam I'll pour you some fine imported champagne. We're going to toast that.

54:40🔗 Caller White truffle.

54:41🔗 Adam Then I'm going to go down on you for about an hour. I'm going to get up, I'm going to roll my neck around.

54:45🔗 Caller I'm going down for another hour.

54:47🔗 Adam Meanwhile, you're going to watch Alan McBeal and drink champagne.

54:51🔗 Drew Sex with the City and Alan McBeal, and eat M&M's.

54:55🔗 Adam Then we'll do it in the missionary style for 8.6 minutes.

54:59🔗 Caller Then I roll you over to Doggy, and I finish you off with more oil.

55:04🔗 Adam What do you say?

55:06🔗 Drew I have a question.

55:06🔗 Adam Can I bathe you again?

55:07🔗 Drew I have a question. What? Where do guys get energy for that kind of thing? You know, guys that do the stuff that women really, really like?

55:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:16🔗 Drew Where do they find that through-line motivation?

55:18🔗 Adam You mean like the Rose Battles and stuff?

55:19🔗 Drew I mean, there are guys that can get the music right, get the sense right and stuff. Where does that come from? Or is that only gay guys that do that?

55:27🔗 Adam On women or other gay guys?

55:29🔗 Drew But they could be gay and just.

55:31🔗 Adam You mean they are very, very much in touch with that? You know what?

55:35🔗 Drew Where does it come from? I try to do that kind of thing. I just, it doesn't spontaneously come from it.

55:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

55:42🔗 Drew I know what you mean. Someone have to write the script out for me. I have to follow it. It'd be like following some sort of recipe.

55:47🔗 Adam Right. Right. I know what it's like. It's like on Tuesday, you're like, this is the weekend we go horseback riding. Then Thursday rolls around. It's like, scratch your horseback riding. What we're going to do is we're going to rent a nice movie. I'm going to make a nice gourmet meal. We're going to stay in and really have a romantic evening.

56:04🔗 Drew Friday night.

56:05🔗 Adam Then you get to Friday and it's like, hey, could you pick up a sack of Funyuns and a sixer on your way over?

56:11🔗 Drew I'll be napping when you get home.

56:13🔗 Adam Don't wake me. Just give me a hand job. Yeah. I don't know. I tend to think these are guys that aren't busy enough.

56:24🔗 Drew If you were desperate enough, I guess you'd motivate, right?

56:27🔗 Adam Desperation is this motivation.

56:29🔗 Drew But even then, where does it come from? Where is the instinct to deliver those goods?

56:35🔗 Adam There's a lot of guys, and okay, here's what it is. Women are very much into pleasing men. We talk to them all the time, a little too much. Not for me, but for you. It's too much, right?

56:49🔗 Drew For their health.

56:50🔗 Adam Guys aren't normally that into pleasing women. They're into doing what they have to do to try to get in their pants, and sometimes that's pleasing, but it wears off pretty quick. But there are a handful of guys who really get off on the woman's pleasure.

57:06🔗 Drew Yeah, but those guys.

57:06🔗 Adam Those are those guys.

57:07🔗 Drew No, no, no. Those guys want to see an orgasm. That's what they want to see. The guys that really get off on creating the whole scene to me, I'm like, what's that? What are they manipulating? What? The sociopath? What are they up to? Yeah. For me, it's like, where? Oh, I know. That's somebody manipulating the woman.

57:23🔗 Adam I hate those. I get halfway in the story. I want to kick the guy in the nuts. We packed the picnic basket and there's this place, great place.

57:31🔗 Drew Immediately, I don't trust those guys. I'm thinking, they're up to something. They're up to something.

57:34🔗 Adam As soon as they start bringing up the hot air ballooning, that's when I go. I know women love the picnics, they love the hot air balloons and the horses and the whole thing, as long as I think it was painful for you.

57:46🔗 Drew But forget that, why can't we even light a candle and turn on some music? We know that's what women like. It doesn't even occur to us. Is that because when your game face is on, that stuff just goes away? It's like trying to pay attention to a hangnail when you're in the middle of a football game?

58:07🔗 Adam I just think we're bad people.

58:08🔗 Drew Yeah, that could be it.

58:10🔗 Caller Well, back to the point.

58:12🔗 Drew That's an interesting discussion, guys.

58:16🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, when you have to yell at people that it's interesting?

58:20🔗 Drew It may not be.

58:21🔗 Adam Well, maybe not to them. Laura?

58:24🔗 Caller Yes.

58:24🔗 Adam You're 30?

58:25🔗 Caller Yes.

58:25🔗 Adam What's up?

58:27🔗 Caller Hi, I just want to say thanks for taking my call.

58:29🔗 Caller I've been listening to you guys for like 10 years. You're so funny and sexy. I love listening to you guys.

58:34🔗 Adam Good times. What's up?

58:35🔗 Caller Anyways, I went to the doctor today for some birth control pills and the nurse said that it's not a good idea to leave out the placebo. I should take them every third month.

58:46🔗 Drew Every third month?

58:47🔗 Caller Yes.

58:48🔗 Drew So she's going to let you do it two out of the three months.

58:50🔗 Caller Right.

58:51🔗 Drew Why do you want to do it at all?

58:52🔗 Caller Well, that's what I'm saying.

58:55🔗 Adam The sugar pills?

58:56🔗 Caller Right.

58:57🔗 Adam Wait, why is she saying it's a bad idea just because you'll forget?

59:00🔗 Caller No, she's saying that you should menstruate every three months because it's not healthy to go without.

59:05🔗 Drew So why do you menstruate every month? Why are you doing this at all?

59:09🔗 Caller Well, I don't know because I heard Dr. Drew talk about it and I read it in magazines and I okayed it with my gynecologist and she said it was okay to just not.

59:20🔗 Drew It's okay. Again, I'm not wholeheartedly endorsing this. If you have a wedding coming up or a special vacation and you want to skip your period, just go ahead and don't take the pills. And there are gynecologists out there that believe that you could stay continuously on the pill without menstruating at all and it would be of no harm. I'm uncomfortable with that recommendation. I think what the nurse told you is a reasonable one to maybe every third month go ahead and menstruate. Personally, if you're asking me my opinion, I think you ought to take it the old fashioned way because it's been working for a long time that way. Go ahead and skip it a week, a month and menstruate.

59:55🔗 Caller Another thing is I've been starting to get these migraines so I asked her if I could be on another type of pill and she suggested low estrogen.

1:00:03🔗 Drew Absolutely, you want to get as low estrogen if not off estrogen entirely.

1:00:07🔗 Adam Why?

1:00:08🔗 Drew Why does that give you a headache? That's what triggers migraine. In fact, migraine is one of the sort of significant what we call contraindication or relative contraindications to take in the birth control pill. It can actually induce stroke sometimes.

1:00:23🔗 Adam Good time. Zach, you're 16. What's up?

1:00:25🔗 Caller What's up, Adam? This question is pretty much for Dr. Drew. And today my friend, my buddy Mike, came over and we were smoking a couple of bowls of weed. And what happened was he told me that if you passed out, it makes it a lot cooler. So what we did was he told me to like lean forward and take huge breaths.

1:00:43🔗 Drew And he grabbed you from behind?

1:00:45🔗 Caller No. I'm afraid not.

1:00:47🔗 Drew No, no, that's what we used to do.

1:00:49🔗 Adam We weren't talking about anal rape. We were talking about the hyperventilation.

1:00:52🔗 Drew Yeah, and then they hugged you from behind it, cut something.

1:00:54🔗 Caller No, no, nothing like that. Anyway, so I just got lightheaded and he told me to look at my watch and just count the seconds. And then when I was really lightheaded, and this was actually when I was kind of standing up. And so what he'd do is he'd say, just hold your breath and stand all the way up. And then he'd just like grab my neck a tiny bit, not like put a lot of pressure on it. And then I'd just like fall down on the couch. And like I wake up, it seemed like 10 minutes, but it would only be like three seconds.

1:01:17🔗 Adam And your ass hurt?

1:01:19🔗 Caller No, no, actually I re-recorded it, so I know he wasn't doing anything dishonorable. Anyway, but yeah, and he just, I mean, I had a headache later, so I mean, my columnist tells me that can't be a good thing.

1:01:29🔗 Drew No, it's not a good thing.

1:01:31🔗 Caller So I'm just, I mean, a lot of my buddies say like, oh yeah, well it's only like, it's only cutting your auction off for 30 seconds, but I mean, I'm just wondering how bad it exactly is.

1:01:40🔗 Drew Well, we don't know, there's no way to measure how bad it is. Obviously, you're depleting the critical supply of auction, the very delicate sales system.

1:01:48🔗 Adam However, couldn't he just drive his dad's car into an icy lake?

1:01:51🔗 Drew Sure, just do that in a telephone pole.

1:01:54🔗 Caller But I mean, just like for 30 seconds, if it stood up, I'm like, I don't know.

1:01:57🔗 Drew Well, the problem is that your body sometimes doesn't know that you're aiming for just 30 seconds, and you can slow your heart rate down to the point that it can even stop.

1:02:06🔗 Caller It started being a lot faster actually.

1:02:08🔗 Drew What's that?

1:02:09🔗 Caller My heart rate didn't slow down, it sped up a lot. Because I woke up, I'm like, whoa, I didn't know what the hell that was going on.

1:02:14🔗 Drew Yeah, it sped up. After it had slowed down to the point that it shut the... Plus, again, this business of pushing your carotids can cause stroke. So, you don't know what you're doing.

1:02:24🔗 Caller I mean, like if I did like, you know, maybe every like maybe once a week or something, what did, chances are it would have like come back to get me later, or I mean like...

1:02:32🔗 Drew No, let me...

1:02:35🔗 Adam I'd like to see more like 0.7 times a week, maybe.

1:02:39🔗 Drew Let's put it this way. There's a possibility that you could die each time you do this.

1:02:45🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:02:45🔗 Drew Okay.

1:02:46🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:46🔗 Caller All right. I appreciate it.

1:02:47🔗 Caller There you go.

1:02:48🔗 Caller And Adam, I think the match is really cool.

1:02:50🔗 Adam Thanks. Hey, Zach.

1:02:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:52🔗 Adam You're 16, man. Can't you just whack off and like play softball or something?

1:02:58🔗 Caller Yeah. What are you going to do? Yeah.

1:03:00🔗 Adam Easy, buddy.

1:03:01🔗 Caller I was in Bothell, man. Where? Nothing to do in Bothell, but it's the suburb of Seattle.

1:03:06🔗 Adam All right.

1:03:06🔗 Caller Well...

1:03:06🔗 Caller It's no good.

1:03:08🔗 Adam Okay. But really, with the high... You're getting too high, too young, too fast.

1:03:12🔗 Caller Oh, I know. I mean, like, a lot of my friends are, like, into the opiates and, like, you know... Whoa.

1:03:16🔗 Drew My God...

1:03:17🔗 Caller .taking crap like that. Not heroin, like, stuff, but I mean, like...

1:03:20🔗 Drew Yeah. Opiates are all... Listen, there's not a... I know.

1:03:22🔗 Caller I know. I know. It's not a difference. Yeah.

1:03:23🔗 Drew Not a big difference amongst the opiates. And tonight we've had several calls, young people on opiates. I'm a little surprised. I mean, I see tons of opiate addiction, but it's usually in older folks.

1:03:32🔗 Adam Listen, everybody, I don't want to get too preachy, but here goes. I got a certain amount of friends who did drugs and drank a lot of booze and had a lot of problems. And basically, here's how it is. They all started getting high and getting effed up around 15 or 16.

1:03:48🔗 Caller Oh, did that's what started?

1:03:50🔗 Adam Maybe 14, 15, 16, and around there. You know, and it was fun and it was kicks and it was kind of moderate and it was a weekend thing and stuff like that. And by 18, 19, 20, they had a pretty good run going. And they were getting high a little more often and missing a little more work and screwing up a little more and getting a few more car crashes and getting a few 502s and getting arrested and the whole thing. And by the time they got into their mid to late 20s, they all had to basically go get their life back in order because the last 10, 12, 15 years had just been a sort of blur of booze, weed, and drugs. And it's not a great plan. It really isn't. I'm not saying having a hit of weed is going to kill you, but a lot of you are making a career out of this pretty young. And it's not a great plan. All right, there, Drew?

1:04:40🔗 Caller I'm with you.

1:04:42🔗 Drew Why if I say that kind of stuff, I sound like...

1:04:44🔗 Adam You're the man. You're so busy farting when it's time to talk.

1:04:49🔗 Caller This question is basically for Drew, I think. But my sister introduces me to one of her friends like maybe a couple months ago. And she's kind of hot, you know, so I start kicking it with her and then me and her have sex. And then she has a boyfriend at the time. So I'm thinking, okay, this is like a get out of jail free card where it's like, all right, for me to just not even worry about it after. Then she starts calling me off the hook, like, like crazy. Like she gets a heck of psychotic about it. She breaks up with her boyfriend and starts calling me. And then I try to like cool things down between me and her and like start to like pull away from her. And then she calls me and she's like, I have a stomach ache. I'm like, we'll go to the doctor. Okay. So she goes to the doctor. Then she called me later on that day and she's like, guess what? I'm pregnant. I'm like, but you were on birth control. She's like, well, the doctor gave me an ultrasound. I'm thinking you can't get an ultrasound just stopping in the doctor's office.

1:05:41🔗 Drew Yeah, a gynecologist you can.

1:05:43🔗 Caller Just that same day? No, just for a stomach ache?

1:05:46🔗 Drew If it was a gynecologist, yes.

1:05:47🔗 Caller Okay. Okay.

1:05:48🔗 Adam Well, and then she tells me, hold on Drew, did something come out of you?

1:05:52🔗 Drew A while ago.

1:05:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:05:54🔗 Drew This may be time to use your ration.

1:05:55🔗 Adam It's time to use my second match.

1:05:58🔗 Drew It's getting kind of scary.

1:05:59🔗 Caller I'm scared for you. Well, then she tells me, okay, well, I haven't-

1:06:04🔗 Drew You really look like you're some sort of warlock.

1:06:07🔗 Caller Trying to wave it around. Yeah.

1:06:10🔗 Caller Okay. Then she tells me, I set up an abortion. She's like, I don't want you to have nothing to do with it. Don't worry about it. I set up an abortion in a month. I'm like, okay, she's telling me this while she's at my house. She came to my house to tell me. I'm like, okay, well, let's go down to the store. I want to get a soda. I buy a pregnancy test and I tell her to take it. And it comes out negative. And this is like a month and a half after she said, after we had sex.

1:06:31🔗 Drew That's interesting.

1:06:32🔗 Caller So I'm like, okay, now I really don't believe you. I'm like, well, why don't you take me with you to your abortion so I make sure you're really having an abortion? She's like, well, I don't want you to have nothing to do with it. I'm like, well, I want to make sure you're not lying to me because if you're lying to me, I don't ever want to talk to you again.

1:06:46🔗 Drew Right.

1:06:46🔗 Caller And if you're telling me the truth, then you know everything's cool and I'm very sorry for even accusing you. And then she's like, okay, okay, no problem. And then she called me the next day. She's like, oh, they moved the abortion up to today. And then she called me later on that day. She's like, oh, I had the abortion. Everything's fine. Don't worry. Oh, so, you know, I just want some justification. Am I tripping or does that sound fishy?

1:07:06🔗 Drew It sounds fishy.

1:07:07🔗 Caller Sounds fishy.

1:07:09🔗 Adam But how about her?

1:07:10🔗 Drew I mean, what's her past?

1:07:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:12🔗 Adam How is she as a human? Can you get a read on her?

1:07:15🔗 Caller My sister said she was cool, but she's kind of like she gets clingy and she doesn't want to, like, let go of guys. Like, if she likes a guy, she, like, tries to do whatever she can to keep him. So my sister was fishy about it, too. My sister's like, I think she's lying, too. And she's a good friend, you know?

1:07:31🔗 Adam Yeah. This may not be the one for you, Brad.

1:07:33🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess.

1:07:33🔗 Adam Well, the good news is, is she's not pregnant, if she ever was.

1:07:37🔗 Caller If she ever was.

1:07:38🔗 Adam And you're kind of on to her.

1:07:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:40🔗 Caller So that's it.

1:07:41🔗 Caller All right. Well, I just wanted to make sure that I was like, I don't know, because I feel really bad if she really was pregnant, you know.

1:07:48🔗 Adam No, I understand.

1:07:49🔗 Drew Sounds fishy.

1:07:50🔗 Caller Yeah, OK. That's all I need to do.

1:07:52🔗 Adam All right. But listen, don't don't get drunk and have some sort of maintenance call where you do actually get her pregnant.

1:07:58🔗 Caller Yeah, that really.

1:07:59🔗 Adam And don't keep don't string her along.

1:08:01🔗 Caller Yeah, I won't do that.

1:08:02🔗 Adam If you're done, you're done, right?

1:08:04🔗 Caller It's more than that.

1:08:05🔗 Adam All right. All right there, buddy. See, I had a heart of gold this guy.

1:08:11🔗 Drew He is all right. OK.

1:08:13🔗 Adam I like that. I like when he said, you know, if if if you're not pregnant, it's a big deal. I don't like you lying.

1:08:20🔗 Caller If you are, I'm sorry.

1:08:21🔗 Drew I'm sorry.

1:08:22🔗 Caller And I apologize.

1:08:24🔗 Drew I like what's interesting, though, I even handed that she were really screwy. She would not have taken that very well. That whole that whole she would have got escalated response to that.

1:08:33🔗 Caller You know, yeah.

1:08:35🔗 Adam There's a more fart. There's something else coming out of you. It just never ends. Really? You like a very badly scented candle? The world's worst scented candle. It just never goes out.

1:08:51🔗 Caller All right.

1:08:54🔗 Adam Yeah, there's something going on. I got to go in the other room and induce some vomiting.

1:08:58🔗 Caller All right.

1:08:59🔗 Adam We'll take a break and then we'll be back.

1:09:02🔗 Caller Love Line, Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-199.

1:09:36🔗 Caller Hi, this is Shaggy. Mr. Lovelove up front and personal, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Got it going on up close and personal.

1:09:48🔗 Caller Huh, more?

1:09:50🔗 Drew Up close and personal, what?

1:09:51🔗 Adam No, I'm... The ass assault has not stopped.

1:09:57🔗 Drew You know what?

1:09:57🔗 Adam If anything, it's gotten worse.

1:09:59🔗 Drew It's just cumulative.

1:10:01🔗 Adam Is that what it is?

1:10:03🔗 Drew What has been compressed within my colon and what is now filling this room?

1:10:07🔗 Adam Filling not only the room but me. Everything in the room has been filled with what was in your colon. It's a transference of colon matter from... And here's basically the pipeline. This studio. It goes from inside of your colon into the studio and then I ingest it and then one day I'll pass it on to my children. God willing.

1:10:30🔗 Drew It gets incorporated into the genetic material doesn't it?

1:10:33🔗 Adam I'm really scared I'm going to belch on the ride home and stink up the car with your gas. Is that a possibility?

1:10:40🔗 Drew You know the way things are going.

1:10:42🔗 Adam I'm in a serious saturation level with this gas now, Drew.

1:10:46🔗 Caller I can't take up anymore.

1:10:47🔗 Drew They want to hear the boogie out there.

1:10:49🔗 Caller Yeah, okay.

1:10:50🔗 Adam There's been a request for the Dr. Drew boogie, one we haven't heard in quite some time, so let's do that.

1:11:26🔗 Caller Ow!

1:11:27🔗 Drew Peon, this makes me sick. Hurts when I urinate.

1:11:30🔗 Caller Makes me sick.

1:11:31🔗 Drew The anal sect makes me sick. This guy's penis makes me sick. Not acceptable.

1:11:53🔗 Caller Dr. Drew is right.

1:11:56🔗 Adam I don't know if he's right as much as he is right. It's maybe a little bit each tonight. All right. Well, I used my last match up.

1:12:05🔗 Drew I know. I got scared when you do that.

1:12:07🔗 Adam Feeble. You know what that's like? It's like me being cast adrift in a sea in a dinghy and eating all of my rations of food the first day.

1:12:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:16🔗 Adam Just hoping I'll be rescued by by nightfall.

1:12:20🔗 Drew What was the wisdom in that?

1:12:22🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:12:23🔗 Adam It was a plan and I went with it. Maybe not a very good plan.

1:12:27🔗 Caller All right.

1:12:27🔗 Adam We're going to speak to Charlie over here. Okay. Calling from Cincinnati is 20 Charlie.

1:12:34🔗 Hi.

1:12:34🔗 Adam How are you doing?

1:12:36🔗 Still all right. How are you?

1:12:37🔗 Adam Well, I've had better days too.

1:12:40🔗 Oh, yeah. Well, my question was I just wanted to get some feedback from you guys. I don't know if you've heard what's going on down here in Cincinnati with the rioting.

1:12:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:12:53🔗 And my feelings are the black community, they genuinely have a right to get upset when people are getting shot and this, that and the other. But, I mean, come on. White people get it just as bad. I mean, I'm 20 years old. I'm a known drug offender in the city. When they pull my record up on their computers, it says approach with caution. I've had the police pull a gun on me several times. Yeah. I mean, I'm a good kid. I'm from a really nice neighborhood. I used to smoke a lot of pot and they labeled me for that. And this guy that this cop shot, I mean, he was escaping 14 warrants for his arrest. He runs into an alley, reaches in his coat. Yeah. If a cop says freeze, what are you going to do?

1:13:48🔗 Adam Well, I would tend to freeze.

1:13:50🔗 Yeah, exactly.

1:13:51🔗 Adam I like to play it safe and freeze even before they say freeze. Same the time of saying to freeze.

1:13:56🔗 I would do the same.

1:13:58🔗 Adam Well, listen, here's how it is. Yes, traditionally, the cops have been unfair to the blacks. No doubt about that. I think things are evening out a little bit nowadays. I know it's not real popular to talk about that.

1:14:12🔗 Drew Also, it's mostly because the different races are entering the ranks of the police.

1:14:17🔗 Adam Well, that's true. I mean, at least if you're out here in LA, there's more black and Hispanic. I see more black and Hispanic cops than I do white cops.

1:14:27🔗 Drew So, them has become us.

1:14:29🔗 Adam Well, yeah. So, if it's like, who are they being prejudiced against? Their own? I'm not sure exactly how that math bodes out. I usually think it's much ado about nothing. But I can tell you as a poor guy, poor people are the ones who get screwed the most by the cops. They get pulled over. They drive crappy cars. Their stuff isn't in order. They don't have insurance. They have expired tabs. They look, they dress poorly. You see a car going down the street and it's a shiny new car.

1:15:02🔗 Drew You might be more stressed and irritable and do things erratic because of that?

1:15:06🔗 Adam What? Who, me? Poor. All I know is I used to get pulled over all the time when I drove clunker cars and looked like an idiot. And now I don't get pulled over as much. I drive nice cars and I wear, well I still look like an idiot actually. Yes, and the blacks rioting is a bad plan.

1:15:25🔗 Caller But what are you going to do?

1:15:26🔗 Adam You know, I mean, they're not going to solve anything. And I agree, it doesn't help, it exacerbates things. But they feel that there's injustice perpetrated.

1:15:37🔗 Drew I also, there's something going on in Cincinnati, I was there a couple weeks ago, and there is a lot of pent up energy. There's something going on in that town. And this just sort of triggered it.

1:15:46🔗 Adam Yeah, and what's it like over there?

1:15:50🔗 Bricks through windows about a mile from my house. They've been setting houses on fire. I don't know if you're familiar with the Madera area, you said you were in Cincinnati.

1:16:00🔗 Drew You know what, I sat, there's that mall, what the hell is that mall? Is it a mall off?

1:16:05🔗 Adam Cincinnati Mall?

1:16:05🔗 Drew No, by the Omni Hotel, there's a little mall off there in the downtown. And I sat in that mall and there's a food court, and I thought, my God, everyone in this food court is so angry. I'm afraid someone's going to pull a gun out.

1:16:16🔗 Adam No, you did not.

1:16:18🔗 Drew Adam, I left. You just feel it. You can feel the energy in that town right now.

1:16:23🔗 Two nights ago, like right when this first started, a guy that I used to live with, he was downtown. He was more in like the Madisonville area, which is a large black community. And like four or five guys yanked him and another one of my friends out of their car and pistol whips, my friend Jimmy, fractured his skull. He's like partially blind and one-eyed now.

1:16:48🔗 Drew Again, I think you ought to not look so much at the single event and just try to figure out what's going on in Cincinnati right now and make everybody so angry. There's something else going on. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

1:16:58🔗 Caller Right.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Well, you could move down to LA.

1:17:02🔗 Caller Yeah, be like Reginald Denny. Yeah, really?

1:17:05🔗 Adam I don't know. Listen, you know, I'm telling you, I really, you know, I know as a white male, I'm not supposed to say anything, but I've just had an ass full of everyone. I've had an ass full of Hispanics, the blacks, the gays, everyone but me.

1:17:20🔗 Drew What did you have an ass full of?

1:17:21🔗 Adam I've had an ass full of these goddamn clan guys who were screwing it up for the rest of the passive white folk like myself. The supremacists, I've had an ass full of them. The Jews, they're a pain in the ass too. I've had an ass full of everyone but the Asians.

1:17:38🔗 Drew Well, Chinese now. Not the American Chinese.

1:17:42🔗 Caller There's something about the American Asians. They just go about their business.

1:17:47🔗 Adam I've really had an ass full of everyone. I don't know what the answer is. I think I do know what the answer is. Everyone get to work. I swear to Christ, here's the deal, everybody. Cop pulls you over, yes sir, no sir, put your hands on the wheel. Yeah, they still could pull you out of the car and beat you, but you know what? I don't think they're gonna. I really don't. When a cop tells you freeze, you freeze. When a cop tells you get on the ground, get on the ground. Yes, officer, no officer. That's it. Out of the car, out of the car, whatever it is. And yeah, do they hassle the blacks or the Hispanics or the whoever a little more? I'd probably say yeah. But you know what? Here's the deal, everyone. Eighty-year-old women who drive Cadillacs don't get pulled over as often as 19-year-old white guys. That's a form of profiling. But 80-year-old women don't cause as much trouble as 19-year-old white guys do. People who drive nicer cars don't get pulled over. People who drive in nicer areas don't get pulled over as much. There's all, the cops do this all the time. And if you're black or if you're Hispanic or if you're whatever, you may fall down lower than everyone falls under the 80-year-old white woman. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, wouldn't you expect that women, for instance, elderly women get pulled over less than teenage boys?

1:19:11🔗 Drew Yes.

1:19:12🔗 Caller Okay.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Does it matter what color the teenage boys are?

1:19:15🔗 Drew No.

1:19:15🔗 Adam Do black teenage boys get pulled over more than white teenage boys? Yeah, definitely.

1:19:22🔗 Caller But, the white guys get pulled less than the elderly women.

1:19:25🔗 Adam I don't know, and the elderly men. I don't know what the answer is. Keep your hands on the wheel, yes or no, sir, and let's all just go home and masturbate. That's what I'm saying.

1:19:37🔗 Drew We go to work first?

1:19:39🔗 Adam I mean, go to work, then go home and masturbate. I'm telling you, I know you don't like, a lot of you out there don't like the cops. You don't look at them as your friend or they're doing a job or whatever it is, but you know what? Just kiss their ass. Just get through it. Look at it like customs. They yell halt halt. That's it.

1:19:58🔗 Caller Alright.

1:20:00🔗 Adam Tom?

1:20:01🔗 Yes, hi.

1:20:01🔗 Adam You're 33.

1:20:03🔗 Caller Yes, I am. Yeah.

1:20:04🔗 Adam Now, meter maids, that's another story. I want civil disobedience for them. What's going on there, Tom?

1:20:12🔗 Caller Are you there, sir? A friend of mine, Dan, was having sex with his girlfriend. They don't use condoms. They've both been tested years ago. They haven't been together for many years. First of all, you guys are both doing a great service to the youth of America.

1:20:26🔗 Drew What's the question, Tom? We appreciate that.

1:20:29🔗 Caller He broke his penis. Apparently, as urethra, he was having sex with his girlfriend, doing it from behind, pulled out to have an orgasm, slammed into her butt cheek, and immediately following, he started spewing blood out of his penis.

1:20:44🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:20:45🔗 Adam This is your friend?

1:20:46🔗 Caller No, no.

1:20:46🔗 Caller In this case, it really is. I heard the story last night with the guy with the broken condom.

1:20:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:20:52🔗 Adam Did you have to use the guy's name before you set up the story, though?

1:20:58🔗 Caller Did I use the guy's name?

1:21:00🔗 Drew I'm confused.

1:21:01🔗 Adam His friend, Dan, broke his penis, right?

1:21:05🔗 Caller Yeah, he broke his penis.

1:21:06🔗 Adam All right. He needs to go see a doctor.

1:21:09🔗 Caller No, he's already been through all that. He saw the doctor, and now it's about two months later he's all healed up. Supposedly, he still can attain erection. However, he's afraid to have sex now because he thinks that it might not have healed properly and he can still break it rather easily. So I think it's more of a mental thing. I haven't talked to him in about three weeks, I've all tooed.

1:21:32🔗 Drew Did he have an operation to repair?

1:21:34🔗 Caller No, he didn't need any operation. He had a catheter in for about seven days. And he went to the emergency room that night, and then about two days later it started bleeding again because he got an erection while he was sleeping, and he woke up covered with blood.

1:21:49🔗 Drew I wonder if he just sort of tore his urethra more than broke it.

1:21:53🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what they were thinking.

1:21:54🔗 Drew I mean, usually it's the corpus cavernous and the cavernous body inside that tears and then swells. And that sometimes needs an operation to repair. And that's usually from bending the penis, you know, sort of rapidly.

1:22:07🔗 Adam Do they have a splint or a brace or something this guy could wear? Is there any kind of penis rehab?

1:22:12🔗 Drew There's probably a rehab program, but this sounds like something inside the urethra just kind of tore. That just takes a while to heal.

1:22:19🔗 Adam Alright, so what do you say? Take it slow?

1:22:21🔗 Drew He shouldn't have any problem having sex again.

1:22:23🔗 Adam Drew, something else came out of you. Yes, okay, we're going to take a break. I could give a rat's ass about this guy's penis.

1:22:29🔗 Caller I gotta think about my own health.

1:22:31🔗 Adam I'm going out of the car. I'm looking for matches. We'll be back.

1:22:34🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:22:37🔗 Caller I'm back in a minute.

1:23:17🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:23:19🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:23:21🔗 Caller That's right there, kids. This is the Lightning Round. I'm Ace Rockolla. We got a little bit of a finally there, a little bit of a Lightning Round. A little while back in the area. I'm taking some calls. I got my good calls. We're having a line.

1:23:32🔗 Caller It's a love line.

1:23:33🔗 Drew Ace thinks we're matches.

1:23:34🔗 Caller Yeah, I got myself some matches in here, boy. Ace Rockolla's been lighting matches. Drew's been out there doing his work. I'll tell you what, I haven't experienced this since name. I really haven't. As I have on the phone, there's me and Amy, so there's all those names I haven't in there, baby.

1:23:48🔗 Drew Amy.

1:23:50🔗 Caller Yes.

1:23:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I was about the same as Loveline.

1:23:52🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:23:53🔗 Adam No.

1:23:55🔗 Caller I'm 30 years old.

1:23:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:57🔗 Caller I've been in a sexual relationship for over a month now, and I have never had an orgasm.

1:24:03🔗 Drew With a partner?

1:24:04🔗 Caller Ever.

1:24:05🔗 Caller How about by yourself? Yeah.

1:24:07🔗 Caller No.

1:24:07🔗 Caller A little, do a little diddle in yourself, huh? Come on. You can tell Ace.

1:24:12🔗 Caller No, I've never masturbated.

1:24:14🔗 Caller No vibrator?

1:24:16🔗 Caller Nope.

1:24:16🔗 Caller How about you get yourself a little vibrator and see what happens there better?

1:24:20🔗 Caller I just, I don't turn myself on.

1:24:22🔗 Caller Uh-huh. You don't do it for yourself?

1:24:24🔗 Caller No.

1:24:25🔗 Caller I love myself. Ace Rockolla loves himself.

1:24:31🔗 Drew But how about maybe figuring out how things work on your own and so you can communicate that to your partner?

1:24:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah, Amy?

1:24:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:40🔗 Caller Does he go down on you?

1:24:42🔗 Caller Yes, he does.

1:24:42🔗 Caller He does? Does he do the backside maneuver I learned about tonight?

1:24:45🔗 Caller No, no.

1:24:46🔗 Caller Yeah, that's an ask up a T. I don't blame him. You know what I mean? You go backside, you know where his nose is? Bottom side. You know what I'm saying, Dr. Drew? Dr. Drew, that'd be a certain death if I did that on you tonight. I'll tell you what. That would be faster than Sinai tablets, really, with that. Hi, baby. What's up, Sam? Going down on you. Just relaxing there. I have a couple of wine coolers. How about that? My glass of chardonnay. Relax. You uptight, baby? You're religious?

1:25:13🔗 Caller I was raised religious, but I'm not now.

1:25:16🔗 Caller How about you find yourself, baby? Maybe get in the tub, a little run of water right over the coochie-boo there. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:22🔗 Drew Yeah, that was Ann's technique.

1:25:24🔗 Caller Yeah? Was.

1:25:25🔗 Drew Well, I'm remain.

1:25:26🔗 Caller Somebody earlier today? Yeah. Hey, Amy?

1:25:29🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:25:30🔗 Caller Get in that tub, run that warm water, run the vagina. Have to get a little orgasm, huh?

1:25:36🔗 Caller Well, I'll give it a whirl.

1:25:37🔗 Caller Yeah, give it a whirl there, baby. Call us back and let them know we got them. All right there, baby.

1:25:40🔗 Drew Who's calling, man?

1:25:41🔗 Caller Let's fire up another stock on the phones here. Let me just ring that cowbell, man. Let's take another call here. You ready to go, Drew Ski? Hey, it's the Loveline, Ace Rockolla. It's a good partner over there, Dr. Drew. Just make the app in the middle of the line around. Slowest 13 minutes of radio. What's going on there, Jay?

1:25:57🔗 Caller Hello?

1:25:57🔗 Caller Jay 29. You're saying hi.

1:26:00🔗 Caller Oh, thank you kindly.

1:26:01🔗 Caller What aren't you wearing?

1:26:04🔗 Caller What's going on, Jay?

1:26:06🔗 Caller Um, I've been married for two years and I'm not interested in having sex with my husband.

1:26:13🔗 Caller Hold on a second, babe. Let me check the time. I forgot about the time. It's 1147 and 30 seconds. That's 12 minutes and 30 seconds away from the witch in an hour and 12 minutes. Smack down the middle of the line around faster than a minute. The radio. What am I going to do? Goodbye. Never there, Dr. Drew. He's hot, hot, hot. Not interested in sex with the hubby, huh?

1:26:32🔗 Caller Well, I just, it's very hard for me to get interested.

1:26:36🔗 Drew Has it always been that way?

1:26:38🔗 Caller Yes, it has.

1:26:39🔗 Caller You like him okay?

1:26:41🔗 Caller I love him to death. I think he's my best friend in the whole world.

1:26:43🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

1:26:45🔗 Caller No.

1:26:47🔗 Drew Birth control pills?

1:26:48🔗 Caller No, I'm not on birth control pills.

1:26:49🔗 Caller Yeah, it says here on the screen. You're thinking about a little threesome, a little try some, do you want to spice up the relationship, am I right?

1:26:55🔗 Caller Well we've talked about it because we're very open. It's never, never had any secrets with him at all, especially about sex. Let him know that, you know, he just, I try to say it nicely but he just doesn't turn me on a lot.

1:27:09🔗 Drew Why?

1:27:10🔗 Caller Well, that's a good time.

1:27:13🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:27:14🔗 Drew Do any men?

1:27:16🔗 Caller Say that again?

1:27:16🔗 Drew Do any men?

1:27:18🔗 Caller Oh, definitely. He was very sexually active before he and I met.

1:27:23🔗 Caller That's got to be lovely news, yeah.

1:27:25🔗 Caller I know. Well, he was a virgin when we met. And like you said, that was about five years ago.

1:27:32🔗 Caller The poor son of a bitch who killed himself. You're thinking about a lady, are you?

1:27:38🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

1:27:38🔗 Caller You want to get a little lady in there? Maybe a little lesbo, huh? Join the pink team.

1:27:43🔗 Caller Well, I've been with women before I met him.

1:27:47🔗 Drew Yeah. Shea, what is up? What is up?

1:27:48🔗 Caller What's with the confusion?

1:27:50🔗 Drew What is up with you? You're sexually compulsive and then you love my husband, but I'm shut down with him.

1:27:56🔗 Caller Hold on a second. Let me check the time. It's 1149 and 10 seconds. That is 10 minutes and 50 seconds away from the top of the hour. It's 12 midnight in the witch's arm. Ace Rockolla is a good one. He's got another doctor. He's smacked down the middle line around. Fastest 12 minutes in a row. What's that, Shay? Lesbian?

1:28:12🔗 Drew That's the kind of thing that people get into when they've been sort of chronically traumatized when they're a kid. When they just can't be close to someone. The person they are close to.

1:28:19🔗 Caller What's that?

1:28:21🔗 Caller My cowbell is going up and up. Hey, Shay, you got kids? No. Good.

1:28:28🔗 Drew I mean, the fact that you even think about having a threesome as a way of improving your intimacy is bizarre.

1:28:32🔗 Caller Let's recap. This guy is a virgin. He's never got himself a little taste of the tale before Shay. She's thinking about chicks. She ain't turned on him. He's her best friend. Give it a break now, baby. I'm saying maybe I'll break it up. I'm saying you ain't into this guy. You ain't into chicks. You're into chicks.

1:28:46🔗 Drew No, it's not chicks. She's into...

1:28:48🔗 Caller Don't you lie. He's Rockolla. He knows what you're lying about.

1:28:50🔗 Drew She's sexually compulsive.

1:28:51🔗 Caller Sexually compulsive. That's what I was saying. Let's hop on the phones now. What should she do, Drew? What are you going to do with her?

1:28:58🔗 Drew I think maybe a marriage council.

1:28:59🔗 Caller Marriage council. That's what I was saying. Dan?

1:29:02🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:29:02🔗 Caller Dan, you're 20.

1:29:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 20.

1:29:05🔗 Caller Hey, what's going on there, bro? I know Ace Rockolla is doing a part in the radio with Dr. Drew. What did you say? Yeah, dude.

1:29:10🔗 Caller You just said something. Yeah, I've got like this friend. He's like one of my two roommates.

1:29:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:19🔗 Caller And he says he masturbates like all the time.

1:29:23🔗 Caller Yeah. Good times.

1:29:26🔗 Drew Are you living with Adam?

1:29:27🔗 Caller Yeah. No. Yeah. What's your problem with it there, Danny?

1:29:32🔗 Caller Well, it's like, I don't know, if he has sex all the time, he masturbates all the time.

1:29:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:38🔗 Caller You know, and the rest of the time we just sit around, you know, lighten flagellants around here.

1:29:42🔗 Caller Nice.

1:29:43🔗 Drew You know. Sounds like an average 20-year-old male existence.

1:29:45🔗 Caller I'm going to party with you, Danny.

1:29:47🔗 Caller Oh, dude, I'm telling you.

1:29:48🔗 Caller So what's your question?

1:29:50🔗 Caller But, you know, is that healthy, you know? And sometimes he asks me, you know, if I do, you know? Yeah.

1:29:59🔗 Caller I'm one of those guys that's like...

1:30:01🔗 Caller Yeah, he's one of those dicks.

1:30:02🔗 Drew That's right.

1:30:04🔗 Caller I don't know. I don't need a guy's master to be able to philosophically do anything. I'm the kind of guy who likes my semen. Lukewarm. Not chilled. Not hot. Do we really need to hear from Danny?

1:30:18🔗 Drew He likes the deodorant that's 110 percent.

1:30:20🔗 Caller That's right. Listen, you're 20, your roommate jacks off all the time, you whack off the other half of the time. Good time. Let me check the time. Speaking of time, it's 11.51 in 40 seconds. That's eight minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the other, the witchy hour straight up. Midnight, I'm Ace Rockolla. There's a good barn over there, Dr. Drew. He's hot, hot, hot and gassy, gassy, gassy. Let's hop back to the phone so we can burn through a few more calls. Mini, Ace Rockolla here.

1:30:45🔗 Caller Hi.

1:30:46🔗 Caller The question is really coming from Dr. Drew.

1:30:48🔗 Caller I think he's lost you at this point.

1:30:50🔗 Caller What aren't you wearing? Seriously, go ahead.

1:30:56🔗 Caller I have a question. I smoke pot pretty regularly for about 12 years.

1:31:02🔗 Caller You smoke a weed.

1:31:04🔗 Caller Like all day, every day. And then my husband and I started having kids and I stopped. And like now, maybe once every three months, I'm smoking. But I have, even when I was smoking regularly, a different reaction to pot.

1:31:20🔗 Caller It makes me very focused.

1:31:22🔗 Caller That's right.

1:31:23🔗 Caller I get a lot done.

1:31:25🔗 Caller Yeah, me too. I watch 15 episodes of Duke's of Hazzard just the other day and I really tuned in. It's like I had blinders on.

1:31:34🔗 Drew It can make you euphoric. It's just like alcohol will too. I would go to work. It's like the difference between how an alcoholic reacts to alcohol versus a non-alcoholic. An alcoholic will want to go repave the front driveway when they're using it.

1:31:51🔗 Caller Good metaphor. That's a good example. Hey, uh, make sure you're still wavin the weed now. You got the kiddies now, you know what I'm saying?

1:32:01🔗 Drew Yeah. And then why is she feeling stimulated from it, per se? You can cause it. You can trigger panic attacks.

1:32:05🔗 Caller Something like that, too.

1:32:07🔗 Adam Let's check the time real fast.

1:32:09🔗 Caller What do you say there, Drew? Sure. It's 1153 and 30 seconds. That's six minutes and 30 seconds. They're waiting for the time of the hour straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla. It's a witchin hour, midnight. And that's my good old partner there, Dr. Drew. And he is hot, gassy, gassy, gassy, gassy. Hot, hot, hot. All right, what do you say to Drew take a little break and come back with the fastest 30 seconds rabbit of the radio?

1:32:29🔗 Drew Beautiful.

1:32:30🔗 Caller Yeah, Ace Rockolla.

1:33:06🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

1:33:08🔗 Caller We made it through a ass-filled two hours with Dr. Drew, everyone, who I'm hoping will be stripped of his medical license as soon as he leaves this building. I'm going to go home and take a very long, long bath.

1:33:24🔗 Drew How are you going to internally cleanse?

1:33:27🔗 Caller I'm going to give myself a coffee enema.

1:33:30🔗 Drew You better have a spiritual cleansing too.

1:33:32🔗 Adam You know it's going to be like those movies after the woman gets raped and then they cut to the tub where she's just floating in the water.

1:33:42🔗 Caller She has a blank, far away stare. She's symbolically trying to cleanse herself.

1:33:49🔗 Drew There you go.

1:33:50🔗 Caller That's going to be me.

1:33:51🔗 Adam If I may be masturbating, I'm not sure. I'm going to play it by ear, okay?

1:33:55🔗 Drew Okay.

1:33:56🔗 Adam We'll see what happens.

1:33:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:58🔗 Adam So, until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Then we'll do it in the missionary style for 8.6 minutes.

1:34:07🔗 Caller Then I roll you over to Doggy and I finish you off with more aura.

1:34:12🔗 Adam What do you say?

1:34:14🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, the management sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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