Thursday, April 12, 2001

0:52🔗 Voiceover Loveline, Coast to Coast.

0:55🔗 Drew It is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55, Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician, takes medicine, but it's like... Drew!

1:06🔗 Guttermouth Hey.

1:07🔗 Drew Hey.

1:07🔗 Guttermouth What's going on?

1:08🔗 Drew Not gassy tonight, huh?

1:11🔗 Adam Not nearly like last night. Just feeling better.

1:14🔗 Drew That's good news for not only me, but the people, all the people of Culver City at least, and some of the outlying areas, maybe as far as Santa Monica. Guttermouth is our guest tonight. Mark Atkins, Jamie Nunn, and Derek Davis are all here from the band. Nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you guys. Pleasure. I don't think our paths have crossed with Guttermouth, have they?

1:38🔗 Adam I don't think so.

1:38🔗 No, first time.

1:39🔗 Drew Have you guys seen us somewhere?

1:41🔗 I've seen you at like remotes, you know, things like that.

1:45🔗 Drew Like some concert or something? Yeah, exactly. All right, but we never did meet, did we?

1:49🔗 Guttermouth No. We heard you were staying at a remote once near us, maybe in Texas or something.

1:54🔗 Drew It's highly possible.

1:56🔗 Adam Oh my God. That's the one with the fire drill in the middle of the night.

1:59🔗 Guttermouth That always happens at night.

2:00🔗 Drew Oh, that one.

2:01🔗 Adam Yeah, that was at a remote in Texas.

2:02🔗 Drew Drew, tell everyone how cool I am with that fire drill.

2:06🔗 Adam Fire drill, 3 a.m., prom night, remember?

2:09🔗 Drew Prom night. We were doing a lecture in Texas.

2:11🔗 Adam And I heard the alarm go off and it's, you know, evacuate the hotel immediately. I thought, oh, I'm such a loser. I'm going to go out there and Adam is not going to budge from his bed. You're going to stand out in the pajamas and they're going to set us back in after an hour. And the whole hotel empty, no Adam.

2:26🔗 Guttermouth Because you assume it's a drill. It's never an emergency.

2:29🔗 Drew Listen, no smoke, no fire.

2:31🔗 Guttermouth That's right. It happens to us all the time.

2:33🔗 Drew Yeah, you're especially, there's some jack-off high schooler smacks the fire alarm on the way out at 3.30 in the morning. You're woken up, then you're standing outside in your underpants like an idiot for an hour out in the Texas cold. And then you file back in your room.

2:49🔗 They did that to us in London. Really? But it's like the fire department shows up and they clear out the entire hotel, shut down the elevators and there's people on crutches hobbling down, you know, ten flights of stairs. It's so cruel. So cruel. But you know, that's the English people. I actually did set up a hotel on fire in England, so...

3:07🔗 Guttermouth Oh, it's an accident.

3:09🔗 Drew Well, my take on the whole fire thing is this, if I'm up, you know, three floors or higher, I'll get out. But if I'm where I comfortably think I can chuck a chair through the window and jump down onto the little lawn tree area there, you're sleeping. Then I'm hanging.

3:24🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, cool.

3:24🔗 Drew Yeah, cause I always have that out.

3:27🔗 You can throw the mattress out the window and you're good.

3:29🔗 Drew Yeah, laying on the mattress. That's good thinking.

3:32🔗 Tying the sheets together, whatever you got to do.

3:33🔗 Adam Now it's the fourth floor. You've added another floor to your comfort zone.

3:36🔗 Drew I like, I don't know what it's got. I guess we're going down this road so let's just keep going. I like the idea of preparing for these things. Like once in a while you go into one of these stores, like Sharper Image or even the Home Depot and you see like second story rope ladder in case there's a fire. Get your family out. There's stuff like that and I go, yeah, I could see that. That seems responsible. The other day I saw one, it was called the Life Hammer. This was a hammer that you're supposed to keep under your car seat. And if your car turned over, you know, sort of chapiquitic style in the water in the river, you could bust out the windshield with the Life Hammer, really, which was like, you know, 35 bucks. And I thought it was a chrome, a normal hammer would just about any hammer work on a windshield. And number two, if I'm upside down in the car, I'm completely like, I can't find the goddamn cigarette lighter in the car at noon, high noon, when I'm sober. Forget drunken upside down in a river.

4:34🔗 Guttermouth Because you know you're going to be drunk if you're upside down in a river.

4:36🔗 Drew Absolutely. That's how you got there. Think of all the things you pull out from under that seat before you got to the Life Hammer. You'd end up just killing yourself with a Thomas guy.

4:45🔗 There's a lot of brilliant consumers out there, though, buying them, I'm sure.

4:48🔗 Drew The Warp Tour is where you can find Guttermouth this summer. And you guys are on, oh, I guess, well, that's nice. You got it laid out here, the 6th through the 21st. You know who's on with you during that stretch? Pennywise, right?

5:03🔗 Caller Oh, dear friends.

5:04🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

5:05🔗 Adam Yes, yes. It's a gold pledge.

5:06🔗 Drew You guys know them, right? Yeah.

5:08🔗 He put me in a full Nelson the other night. First time I've seen him in a year, and he walks up behind me and puts me in a full Nelson.

5:13🔗 Drew Really?

5:13🔗 Yeah, he threatened me.

5:14🔗 Adam Did he actually break your neck?

5:15🔗 No, he didn't. I mean, I'm here, I'm walking. I can still feel my legs, but...

5:18🔗 Guttermouth It's because he loves you.

5:20🔗 Drew You know, the full and or half Nelson is something I experienced about four days a week from age 8 to age, you know, 23. And haven't seen it since.

5:32🔗 It's still there.

5:33🔗 Drew It's kind of thing, though. You get a concentration of the full Nelson at a certain point of life, and then you don't see it too much after that.

5:40🔗 Guttermouth It's a nicer form of the chokehold, you know?

5:43🔗 Drew Yeah, it's friendlier.

5:44🔗 Guttermouth It's a little nicer.

5:46🔗 Drew I'm waiting for someone to come out with the quarter Nelson. That's something I think I could hang with.

5:51🔗 It's probably not very effective, so.

5:52🔗 Drew Yeah, but it's a way to segue into the half Nelson, and then of course full Nelson.

5:57🔗 The land of conveniences. All right.

5:59🔗 It's right next to the convenience hammer or whatever.

6:02🔗 Drew The life hammer. We will hear something off of Covered With Ants, which is Guttermouth's latest CD. And just, is that, wait a minute, April 10th. Yeah, so it's just out. We'll hear something off that in a few minutes. First, we'll take some phone calls and speak to Kevin who's 33. Kevin?

6:21🔗 Yes, hi.

6:22🔗 Drew What's happening?

6:24🔗 Nothing much. First of all, I just want to say you have the best job in the whole wide world.

6:29🔗 Drew Yeah, I do. This is, this job?

6:31🔗 Yeah, you're a good job.

6:32🔗 Drew It's a good job.

6:33🔗 Specifically, to be the funny guy.

6:35🔗 Drew Yeah, it's good.

6:35🔗 You know, it's supposed to add him, the straight guy.

6:37🔗 Drew Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

6:38🔗 Yeah, I know. So, anyway.

6:40🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe he shouldn't be paid as much if he's such a nice person.

6:43🔗 Drew Yeah, if it's easy.

6:45🔗 Guttermouth Right.

6:46🔗 Um, anyway, love the show. First time caller. I want to make a, I want to ask Dr. Drew, and I haven't really heard from him so far, and I assume he's there. Dr. Drew?

6:56🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm here.

6:57🔗 Okay.

6:59🔗 Drew Hold on a second. Let me make a quick observation about Kevin. Does he have a sort of, um, Serious? Sort of insulting way of approaching the phone calls. You're the funny guy. It's like, sort of praise, but there's a little bit of serice in it there, too. Isn't there? Oh, yeah. All right. Just want to make sure you guys were picking that up. Go ahead there, Kevin.

7:19🔗 This is my dream come true to be, uh...

7:21🔗 Drew Here it goes.

7:22🔗 Adam Um, more.

7:23🔗 Drew Keep it coming.

7:24🔗 No.

7:24🔗 Adam He's an idiot. All right.

7:26🔗 Drew Please, Drew. Go ahead, Kevin.

7:27🔗 What's your question? Um, you guys, you get a lot of callers, specifically from guys that talk about wanting to have prolonged activity.

7:38🔗 Adam Right.

7:38🔗 Back when they only last a short bit of time.

7:41🔗 Adam Okay. What's your question?

7:42🔗 Well, um, you guys never, or Dr. Drew, you never specifically mentioned, uh, densocane.

7:50🔗 Adam Actually, I did mention, uh, creams like that. There was a recent article out in the British Medical Journal that suggested you could use that, followed by a condom. You leave it on for a little while.

7:59🔗 Drew Numb sabbatus?

7:59🔗 Adam And that actually did show to prolong, uh, it never, I'd never seen a scientific study that showed that it actually worked. But it did work quite well.

8:08🔗 Drew I am going to save a fortune on Coke. A fortune.

8:12🔗 Guttermouth I was going to say.

8:12🔗 Who would want to numb penis though?

8:14🔗 Drew Well, if you're, if you're orgasming too fast and you want to deaden the sensation a little bit and add a few minutes to the lovemaking, then you'd want to numb it up.

8:23🔗 But if you can't even feel it.

8:24🔗 Guttermouth You step into the restroom and you toss one off before you.

8:28🔗 Drew That's, uh, that's what we've, uh, advocated on this show for many years, but it doesn't work for some guys.

8:33🔗 Adam They still, you know, they still look too quick.

8:35🔗 Drew Yeah.

8:35🔗 Adam All right, Kevin. Thanks a lot.

8:38🔗 Drew All right there, buddy. Good times. All right. Let's talk to Rosa, who's 13. Rosa. Rosa?

8:46🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

8:46🔗 Drew What's up?

8:47🔗 Hey, hi, Guttermouth. I love you guys.

8:51🔗 Guttermouth What's up, Rosa?

8:52🔗 Yeah.

8:54🔗 I have lately for the past couple of months, I've been like, like, I'd be doing something, and I'd go off wandering, like having some kind of like a daydream. And like it sometimes be with like a guy or the other time, like it was like with a girl and like I know I'm not like gay or anything, but I wanted to know, is it like some kind of a sign if I am or not?

9:16🔗 Adam No, no sign of anything. Pretty much everyone gets a certain degree of bisexual feelings at your age. And some people are more prominent than others. And I didn't.

9:27🔗 Drew Chicks do.

9:30🔗 Are you making fun of us now?

9:32🔗 Adam No, no, it's just the fact. It's the truth.

9:35🔗 No, it's just like if I'd be watching TV or something, whoever was on the screen or whatever, that's the person I could be with. And it kind of freaks me out.

9:43🔗 Adam Well, the only question that helps us determine whether or not these are healthy or sort of impulses that you're going to make sense of as you grow older, were you ever sexually abused or anything like that or physically abused?

9:53🔗 Yeah, when I was about 8 or 9, it was with my mom's boss' husband.

9:59🔗 Adam He sexually abused you?

10:00🔗 Yeah.

10:01🔗 Adam Alright, so that tends to create a lot of confusion that stays with you going forward. So that may be where this is coming from. I know some of that gets turned into some of that trauma and that powerlessness gets turned into attraction and compulsivity and a lot of hypersexual kinds of feelings.

10:15🔗 Drew But it was a guy, right? And what happened to the guy?

10:20🔗 I'm not sure. My mom doesn't work for him anymore. But like it happened more than once.

10:25🔗 Adam Oh boy.

10:26🔗 Drew Jesus Christ. Did your mom find out about it?

10:29🔗 I told her but she really didn't do anything. She just said, oh, because I was friends with her daughter and I would sleep over sometimes and like that's when he would do that. But I mean when I told her, she really, she was scared, but she wouldn't let me go over there anymore.

10:46🔗 Drew I can't imagine the way on an adult male who's screwing around with 6, 7, 8, 10-year-olds. I mean aren't you scared? How do you sleep at night? I mean forget morally. Let's just talk about the law. Aren't you scared the kids are going to walk right home and go, guess what just happened?

11:07🔗 That's pretty ugly.

11:08🔗 Drew I mean every time the phone rings, aren't you freaking out that someone's mom or the cops or whatever?

11:13🔗 Yeah, life's over right then.

11:15🔗 Drew Yeah, and you did tell and still the phone never rang.

11:19🔗 Well he used to come by about like I think it was last year, the last time he came by and every time he'd come I would just like run into my closet because I didn't want him to like see me or you know like give me some kind of look. I was like completely afraid and I didn't like I had nothing to do with any guys or anything ever since then.

11:38🔗 Drew And did he ever tell you like threaten you like you know don't tell or all hurt you?

11:43🔗 No, whenever he did anything like he never said anything he would just like I wouldn't even like okay when he would come in the room I wouldn't like want him to know that I'm there like awake so I just pretend I'm sleeping or whatever.

11:58🔗 Drew I really I really hope a huge potted plant lands on this guy's head when he's like taking a leak on the lawn Sunday morning.

12:06🔗 Guttermouth The bigger the pot the better.

12:07🔗 Drew Yeah, just now I'd like it medium size because I don't want him to have an instantaneous death.

12:13🔗 Guttermouth You understand?

12:14🔗 Drew Yeah, I don't want him to get hit by like Skylab. I want him to be more maimed, right, and like spend, be in a coma for a few weeks in the hospital and slowly deteriorate. My mattress as I come out of the Texas hotel, maybe I'll just whack him with that life hammer.

12:29🔗 There you go, all the way down.

12:32🔗 Drew You know, ultimately if I bought that thing, I'd end up getting beaten with it after carjacking or something ironic. He was killed with the life hammer. David? Yeah. You're 20, what's up?

12:46🔗 Caller Hey, this is a question for Guttermouth.

12:49🔗 Caller What's up, David?

12:51🔗 Caller Hey, are you guys going to do the West Coast for Warped Tour?

12:54🔗 Caller We're not, unfortunately. We're doing like the Midwest.

12:57🔗 Guttermouth Bring your saddle. Yeah.

13:00🔗 Caller Midwest stuff only. Chance we'll do San Diego, but not likely, unfortunately.

13:05🔗 Caller Oh, and I have a question. Is it like, like I go to all these shows, and I like, I love to put on, like, I like to paint my nails black and put on makeup.

13:14🔗 Caller Oh, God.

13:14🔗 Guttermouth That's not normal.

13:15🔗 Adam You're gay.

13:16🔗 Drew Drew, please.

13:20🔗 Caller Anyway, go on. That's interesting to me.

13:23🔗 Guttermouth That's new. No one does that.

13:25🔗 Caller No, go on, Debbi.

13:28🔗 Caller No.

13:29🔗 Guttermouth Come on, Debbi.

13:29🔗 Caller A guy named Russ and Debbi that do that.

13:31🔗 Adam So what's, what's your point, Debbi?

13:34🔗 Caller No, I'm just wondering about...

13:35🔗 Guttermouth You're looking for a date?

13:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:38🔗 Drew Well, you paint your nails and you want to know what?

13:41🔗 Caller I want to know, is that gay?

13:43🔗 Drew You heard what Drew said, didn't you?

13:45🔗 Adam That's not, that's not gay.

13:46🔗 Caller Sure is a professional's.

13:47🔗 Drew No.

13:48🔗 Adam Not gay.

13:48🔗 Drew It used to be gay. I don't think it's gay anymore. And I think a lot of it is color selection. Black, that ain't gay, that's heroin.

13:55🔗 Adam That's heroin, yeah. Absolutely. That's heroin.

13:57🔗 Drew But there's certain shades that could be gay.

13:59🔗 Caller Like what?

13:59🔗 Caller Pink.

14:01🔗 Guttermouth Any shades of the rainbow.

14:02🔗 Caller Salmon.

14:04🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

14:05🔗 Turquoise.

14:07🔗 Drew Mauve. All the different names for pink. Jesse?

14:12🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

14:13🔗 Drew 19, what's up?

14:14🔗 Caller Oh man, what's up, Guttermouth?

14:15🔗 Guttermouth What's up, Jesse?

14:17🔗 Caller It's all good. Except for a couple things.

14:19🔗 Guttermouth Oh, it hurts there, huh?

14:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, let me tell you guys like this, man. I'm 19 years old, like you said before. I got my girlfriend pregnant at the time. I knew her for a week, but I'll just get straight to the point before I get any ridicule here.

14:32🔗 Caller You got plenty coming on, right?

14:33🔗 Caller Okay. Well, I'll just wait for that then. Well, I walked to Texas to be with her and my daughter.

14:39🔗 Guttermouth Walked to...

14:40🔗 Walked from where?

14:41🔗 Caller Seattle, Washington.

14:43🔗 Guttermouth I don't believe you.

14:43🔗 Caller That's a long walk.

14:44🔗 Guttermouth You didn't hitchhike at all?

14:45🔗 Caller Well, yeah, of course I got some hitchhike. You know, I got some rides and stuff, but I mean, you know, I mean, basically most of the time was spent was walking.

14:51🔗 Guttermouth And that was just to clear your head, I assume.

14:53🔗 Caller Yeah, right.

14:54🔗 Drew But I mean, the point is, is, geez, Seattle to Texas.

14:58🔗 Caller Yeah, about 1500 miles. It took me just a solid week pretty much to get there.

15:04🔗 Adam Surprised I didn't make you a month.

15:06🔗 Drew And you just started. I mean, see, I, my hat's off to him because I know he got some rides along the way and everything. But the point is, is when you left your front door and shut it behind you, you were on foot, right?

15:21🔗 Caller I was on foot.

15:21🔗 Guttermouth Do you have a new pair of shoes?

15:23🔗 Caller No, just my skate shoes.

15:25🔗 Drew And you just, you know, made a right at the end of the driveway and just kept going.

15:29🔗 Caller Well, that's kind of amazing you say that because that's exactly what I did, made a right.

15:33🔗 Drew Yeah, well, I was going to say down, but I decided to play the odds and go right or left.

15:41🔗 Caller Well, basically, my girlfriend and my daughter, they moved down here because her parents are swell babysitters, being that she goes to school full time and I would go to work full time. And well, basically, I walked in here to be with them because I have undying love for them, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't even do this. And I get down here and I hung out with a couple of her friends. I started getting to know, you know, the crowd that, you know, our little family or whatever you want to call it. And I found out that she kissed on some dude named Sal, let it go. Things started getting a little heavier. We just had our 3 year anniversary, just on the 7th of this month. And she busted me in the mouth, just to be straight up with you. I mean, she started getting kind of bad. I mean, you know, I mean, I didn't have enough cash, you know, to take her out to dinner and buy all these little rings and all that good stuff.

16:27🔗 Drew And I would assume you'd be loaded. All that money is saved on proper transportation.

16:34🔗 Caller Oh, man, I'm trying to keep it over my mind about how much does she expect from a guy who walked from a different state? You know, that was just that was just something I had to do, man.

16:42🔗 Caller What does Sal have to offer that you don't? I'm curious.

16:46🔗 Caller Well, I was in Washington at the time, you understand?

16:49🔗 Drew Well, Sal walked from Canada. He's a little more committed to the relationship, I think.

16:55🔗 Caller And I play drums and he's lead guitarist and singer, so I guess.

17:01🔗 Drew All right, so let's just backtrack here for just one second part of the pun. You have a child.

17:07🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

17:08🔗 Drew How old's the child?

17:09🔗 Caller Two years old, her name's Michelle.

17:10🔗 Adam And why did they leave Seattle?

17:12🔗 Caller They left Seattle because her parents moved here to Texas because they, her mother's, her mother's husband got a good job down here and it was things supposed to work out a little better financially for everybody.

17:28🔗 Drew But who cares?

17:29🔗 Adam Yeah, but I know that's the core issue.

17:31🔗 Drew She moved away from him.

17:32🔗 Adam She was done, then.

17:33🔗 Caller Right.

17:34🔗 Adam Because he doesn't understand that.

17:36🔗 Caller Well, I mean, yeah, I can understand how that could seem like that. But I mean, it seemed like it be- Were you married? We were, you know, we were willing to do this. I was willing to start a family and I wanted to do this 100%.

17:49🔗 Adam Yeah, we know you did. But she was, she moved to Texas.

17:51🔗 Drew There's no doubt you're a committed guy, Chessie.

17:54🔗 Guttermouth You gotta take care of the kid and then you gotta walk back to Seattle.

17:57🔗 Caller Well, no, I can't leave my child.

17:59🔗 Guttermouth Well, I mean, whether you take a walk with her or not.

18:02🔗 Caller Well, I'm not walking with her.

18:03🔗 Guttermouth You have that responsibility for the rest of your life now.

18:05🔗 Caller You're absolutely right.

18:06🔗 Drew But Chessie, she doesn't seem like she's really that into it.

18:10🔗 Caller Well, she is now because when I found out about her kissing on this dude, she said it was because I wasn't there. Of course I wasn't, you know what I'm saying? I was in Washington. I was getting ready to move down here and I just wasn't there for her. So she got attention from this cat.

18:26🔗 Adam So why did she bust you in the mouth this time?

18:28🔗 Caller Well, she busted me in the mouth because I wasn't treating her right, I guess, because I wasn't able to take her out that night. You know?

18:37🔗 Drew Hey, Jesse, this sounds like a lot of chaos. Couldn't you let a nice family of raccoon raise this child so it has a chance? Instead of Forrest Gump and the Chaos Queen? What's that?

18:51🔗 Caller The child is taken care of 100% and she does not see any of this happen, mind you.

18:56🔗 Drew I know, she doesn't see it. She lives with the two assholes that perpetrated on a nightly basis, but she doesn't physically see it.

19:03🔗 Caller She does not live with me.

19:04🔗 Drew Okay, good. She lives with the chaotic group that brought your wife or girlfriend into the world.

19:11🔗 Caller You're absolutely right.

19:12🔗 Drew That's right. Those two pieces of work.

19:14🔗 Caller Basically, what I'm trying to get at, I need a remedy to this situation. My daughter does not deserve to live like this.

19:19🔗 Drew Okay, but okay, let me say something real fast and we're going to hang up on you, Jesse.

19:22🔗 Caller Okay.

19:22🔗 Drew You're a very energetic 19-year-old guy and somewhat compulsive too. Okay? And grandiose. And grandiose. You've got to drop all that if you want to be a daddy. You've got to humble yourself. You know what MC Hammer's like now? That's what you've got to be like. You understand? You know the new MC Hammer, the one that talks about Jesus and who just wants to help and is grateful for Oprah giving him five minutes? That's the kind of guy you've got to turn into. Not the old guy with the parachute pants and the jewelry. You understand? You've got to humble yourself. Your daddy. You owe it to your child to get along with your girlfriend, to not fly off at the handle, to not circumnavigate the globe on foot. You understand? So you've got to tell her you're sorry, look her in the eye. She's got a lot of chaos in her. You tell her you guys have to quell the chaos on behalf of your child. All right? I'm not listening to you anymore. You've got to be daddy now.

20:18🔗 Adam You should refer to him as MC from now on.

20:20🔗 Drew That's right. The new MC daddy. Not the old MC daddy. All right. It's Jesus time. What? Not hammer time.

20:28🔗 Adam Coming to Jesus.

20:30🔗 Drew That's right. It's easy to find Jesus when you're not getting laid anymore. You know? Yeah, why not? All right. Guttermouth is our guest tonight. We'll take ourselves a little break. Here's something off the CD and do a lot more talking when we come back. It's Loveline from Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Mark, Jamie, and Derek are all here from Guttermouth. Covered with ants is the name of the CD. We're going to hear a cut off of that. I think after this next call, what do you say there, Drew? All right. Nathan?

21:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:12🔗 Drew You're 15?

21:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:13🔗 Drew What's up?

21:14🔗 Caller Nathan?

21:15🔗 Adam Jeez, Nathan, what drugs are you doing?

21:17🔗 Caller Pot.

21:18🔗 Adam Just pot?

21:18🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

21:20🔗 Adam No acid or ecstasy or anything? Mushrooms?

21:23🔗 Guttermouth Last week.

21:24🔗 Caller After that, this pot hit.

21:27🔗 Guttermouth Angel does.

21:27🔗 Adam I'm sure it will tell you doing something.

21:29🔗 Caller Yeah. I like eating too.

21:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:31🔗 Guttermouth Oh, my God. Oh, hold on. Is that a TH saying it?

21:35🔗 Caller My problem is if I don't have pot in like a week or a week and a half, I'll get like these bad headaches or I'll get pissed off or wheezy.

21:45🔗 Adam Well, irritability and depression is part of the withdrawal syndrome from marijuana. And it can go for up to six months after you stop. And in fact, there's a very amazingly high incidence of people will kill themselves during that period of time. It's sort of shocking.

22:02🔗 Drew How long have you been smoking pot?

22:03🔗 Guttermouth That's incredible.

22:04🔗 About a year and a half.

22:06🔗 Drew Yeah, every day?

22:07🔗 No, just the weekends.

22:09🔗 Caller I don't do it Tuesday through Thursday.

22:12🔗 Caller Tuesday.

22:14🔗 Caller A pot smoking schedule.

22:15🔗 Adam The weekend goes Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.

22:18🔗 Drew Yeah, every weekend is Labor Day.

22:21🔗 Adam So again, this is clearly affecting you. We can hear it in you. We can tell that it's affecting you. And the fact that you have these irritability and mood disturbances when you try to stop is all part of that syndrome.

22:31🔗 Drew Well, no. So you want to quit, Nathan?

22:34🔗 Caller No, I'm not wanting to quit.

22:35🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

22:35🔗 Caller I'm enjoying it.

22:36🔗 Drew All right. Well, just, you know, just want to check up on you and see how you're doing.

22:40🔗 Adam There's a good study that shows 15-year-old males, shrinkage of the right front part of the brain, that's the part of the brain you're using during development for daily pot smokers.

22:50🔗 Caller I had a couple of friends that were told, that were heavy, heavy pot smokers, that were told, and they got testicular cancer, and they said, someone was told them it was related to how much they were smoking. I don't know, but...

23:04🔗 Adam That's not one I'm familiar with.

23:06🔗 Caller Two people I was told years ago.

23:08🔗 Drew I might as well tell it to Nathan.

23:10🔗 Adam I'm open to it.

23:11🔗 Caller And when you hear that pot in their voice, I think that's when it's serious. Like, you better do something pronto, straighten yourself out.

23:19🔗 Drew Yeah, well, when you're, you know, 15 years old, then you can really, really hear it. Yeah, I mean, really, you sound like a cheech and or chong. At 15, it's bad.

23:29🔗 Well, I just got done smoking a joint, sir.

23:31🔗 Drew Oh, okay. That's cool, man.

23:33🔗 Caller Oh, no way!

23:35🔗 Drew All right there, Nathan. Well, listen, just for your sake and your future sake, why don't you see what you can do about ingesting less wheat. All right, buddy. Good times, buddy.

23:47🔗 All right.

23:48🔗 Drew All right. It really, you know, the thing about, you know, you know how people who have really bad BO don't know it? People who are baked don't really know what the world, how the world sees them or perceives them. Like, they just go, oh, man, I didn't get this gig. You know, they go home and they're like, yeah, I wonder why I didn't get the job. I wonder why the teacher's always coming down on you. I wonder, you know, it's like, everybody knows it, but they think it makes no difference, that it's undetectable, that the, you know, the secret is safe with them.

24:20🔗 Caller They're probably bucking for legalization.

24:22🔗 Drew That's right. Yeah. All right, let's hear ourselves a song from Guttermouth. How about it? This is off of the Covered With Ants CD and this is called She's Got The Look. There's my microphone. It's Offa Covered With Ants. That's Guttermouth, where all the guys are cracking another beer. We're explaining why alcoholism is good, why pot smoking is bad. We get no argument from Guttermouth.

27:37🔗 Caller Because it's legal.

27:38🔗 Guttermouth Hey, we're 21 and over.

27:40🔗 Drew Jezebel?

27:42🔗 Hi.

27:42🔗 Drew Hey, you're 16. Uh-oh, what's up with that voice?

27:46🔗 Caller What do you mean?

27:46🔗 Guttermouth You're crying.

27:47🔗 Drew You're doing all right?

27:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:48🔗 Adam What are you calling about?

27:50🔗 Caller Uh, I'm kind of curious about if I ever ran away, what kind of trouble I'd get into with the law.

27:58🔗 Adam You want to gamble?

27:59🔗 Drew Did someone just come into the barn? What was that?

28:01🔗 Caller No, I just walked outside.

28:03🔗 Drew I see. Um...

28:05🔗 Adam Gambling is a no.

28:06🔗 Drew We're thinking about gambling on your past, Jezebel.

28:08🔗 Caller Okay.

28:09🔗 Drew Would that be a good idea?

28:11🔗 Caller for the shot.

28:12🔗 Drew Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that encouragement.

28:15🔗 Adam First we just go right to it.

28:16🔗 Drew Alright. Stepdad?

28:17🔗 Caller No.

28:18🔗 Adam Abusive alcoholic dad?

28:20🔗 Caller No.

28:21🔗 Drew Who's abusing you?

28:22🔗 Caller My dad.

28:24🔗 Adam Did they just say abusive alcoholic dad?

28:25🔗 Drew Well, non-alcoholic abusive dad?

28:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:29🔗 Drew Doesn't drink, huh?

28:30🔗 Caller No.

28:31🔗 Drew But you had abuses?

28:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:33🔗 Drew Kind of refreshing.

28:35🔗 Adam You said you wanted to leave, run away from home, right?

28:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:37🔗 Adam And kids that run away, the kids that intend to run away and stay away, always are being abused in the home, always. And when did this all start?

28:47🔗 Caller When I was about 13.

28:49🔗 Adam Since you were 13?

28:50🔗 Drew What kind of abuse?

28:54🔗 Caller He's broken my toe, pinned me on the ground, pushed me over tables, framed me into walls.

29:01🔗 Drew Verbal abuse?

29:02🔗 Caller Yeah, that too.

29:03🔗 Drew And what's your mom say about this?

29:06🔗 Caller She stands back and watches and says I deserve it.

29:09🔗 Drew Is she being abused too?

29:10🔗 Caller No.

29:11🔗 Drew You don't think so?

29:12🔗 Caller Not anymore.

29:13🔗 Drew She was by him? What's he do? Some form of construction?

29:18🔗 Caller He's a mechanic.

29:19🔗 Drew Even worse. One notch below construction. All right. Hey, Jezebel. Yeah? Running away is not a great plan because you're going to end up hooking and doing drugs and all that kind of stuff. How about calling Child Protective Services?

29:33🔗 Caller Already done that.

29:35🔗 Drew What did they do?

29:36🔗 Caller They took me away for 24 hours for psychiatric evaluation and said that what he did was discipline and not abuse.

29:48🔗 Adam Wow. How do they determine the difference?

29:51🔗 Caller I don't know. The cops and all them said that.

29:54🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

29:55🔗 Drew Well, what was, were, were, are you out of control?

29:58🔗 Caller No.

29:59🔗 Drew You're good, good daughter, good student, good everything?

30:02🔗 Caller I'm not, I'm not a good student. People in my family aren't good students.

30:06🔗 Drew Yeah, Corolla's got that, too.

30:09🔗 Caller We're Italian, too, so.

30:10🔗 Drew Yeah. We're kind of like, we look like Jews, but we're dumb. It's great. It's a great combination.

30:17🔗 Caller Yeah, but like, I'm not out of control or anything. But like, they think I am because I had sex with one guy and I told them about it.

30:30🔗 Drew Why? You told your dad about it?

30:31🔗 Caller I told my mom.

30:33🔗 Drew She told your dad?

30:34🔗 Yeah.

30:36🔗 Drew Yeah. Jezebel.

30:38🔗 Yeah.

30:39🔗 Drew Do you think, and you say your dad's not an alcoholic.

30:43🔗 Caller No, he's not.

30:43🔗 Drew He doesn't do this after a few beers, huh?

30:45🔗 Caller No, he smokes.

30:47🔗 Caller Pot.

30:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:48🔗 Caller Smokes pot?

30:48🔗 Drew And he's abusive?

30:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:50🔗 Drew Wow.

30:51🔗 Adam That's bizarre.

30:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:53🔗 Caller Seems like it'd mellow him out.

30:54🔗 Adam Is he on pain medicine or something like that?

30:56🔗 Caller No, my mom used to be, though.

30:57🔗 Guttermouth Depression, irritability.

30:58🔗 Drew Oh, baby. Okay. Hey, Jezebel.

31:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:02🔗 Drew Let me give you a, let me ask you a question and you can answer truthfully. Okay. If you stayed out of your dad's sights, out of his crosshairs, I mean, you just went to school in the morning and went to, you know, drill team practice in the afternoon and then came home and went to your room and watched TV. Do you think he'd beat on you?

31:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:23🔗 Drew He would?

31:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:25🔗 Drew He'd make up some excuse to do it?

31:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:28🔗 Drew Okay. Well, you got to call Child Protective Services again.

31:30🔗 Adam Yeah, you got to get them back in. You got to get them back in then.

31:33🔗 Caller Well, like, when I did that, they did absolutely nothing because I got the courage to do it when he tried stabbing me in the hand. And I got the courage to do it and they didn't do anything about it.

31:44🔗 Adam Well, Jezebel, one thing we know is there's something missing from this story.

31:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:48🔗 Adam Something is missing.

31:49🔗 Caller Well, my dad told him I was crazy because I have a... I do a certain thing and my dad says it's crazy what I do.

31:56🔗 Adam What do you do?

31:59🔗 Caller I zone out into old conversations I had with people.

32:04🔗 Adam So you dissociate.

32:04🔗 Caller I talk it out. Like, I forget that I'm talking, you know, but I'm thinking about it, but I'm actually talking out the conversation.

32:12🔗 Drew Drew does a lot of radio shows in that state.

32:15🔗 Adam So you talk to yourself and you may, are you on medication?

32:18🔗 Caller No.

32:18🔗 Adam Are you supposed to have medication?

32:20🔗 Caller I'm supposed, like the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist says I should be on it.

32:25🔗 Adam Why don't you start with following directions of the psychiatrist taking care of you?

32:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Start with that. Tell everything to your psychiatrist.

32:33🔗 Adam He will issue an obligation to report this if indeed there's any evidence of any of this really going on.

32:38🔗 Caller Does he do it to your mom?

32:40🔗 Drew No. I was asked her about that. He said he used to and he doesn't anymore.

32:46🔗 Caller But if she's just kicking back watching it happen, it sounds like to me like she might have had that before and saying, no, this is the way it's going to be in the family for the rest of her life.

32:54🔗 Drew Probably that sort of battered mom syndrome going on there.

32:58🔗 Guttermouth Is there any means to get out of the house?

33:00🔗 Adam There is something missing in this story.

33:02🔗 Drew The reason we're not saying get out, get out tonight, stay at a friend's house because there is pieces missing here. For instance, we hear this a lot. I'm not calling Jezebel a liar, and I'm not saying that her father is not an abusive prick. But the truth is somewhere in between because she should be on medication.

33:25🔗 Adam She's not taking that. That's a bad sign.

33:27🔗 Drew She's having conversations that took place in the 8th grade, and she's telling us that the child protective... You know, we get these stories like, oh, they came in, they said, I was nuts, and told my dad he was good, and didn't do anything.

33:42🔗 Caller Her father broke her toe and all that.

33:44🔗 Drew Right. Normally, they come in and freak out more than they should, especially in this day and age when they're liable for a lot of this stuff. And you hear these horrible stories about the kid getting sent back to the house, getting chained to the radiator.

33:56🔗 Guttermouth If it was that bad, he could start walking to Seattle.

33:59🔗 Drew That's right. When that toe heals, you start your journey to Seattle. Now, talk to your psychiatrist, tell them everything, and do exactly what they tell you to do. All right. Lauren?

34:12🔗 Caller Hi. I just have a question. I have OCD, and I was obsessed with a teacher at my school, and I am trying to get over it because all I have left is like the guilt, but then sometimes I still feel really compulsive to do something.

34:32🔗 Adam Like what?

34:36🔗 Caller I would just write her a letter, it was a she, I'm not gay, just to say, you know.

34:41🔗 Adam And what is the guilt about?

34:43🔗 Caller Just I made her feel really uncomfortable at school, and I just feel really bad about it.

34:50🔗 Drew What kind of obsession did you have with your female teacher if you're not gay?

34:54🔗 Caller It wasn't sexual, it was, like I could be cutting onions and I want to know how she would cut onions.

35:01🔗 Drew And you see, you just became totally obsessed with this person, but just in a non-sexual way.

35:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Did she know this was all going on? Yeah. How'd she find out?

35:11🔗 Caller The school found a letter that I wrote to a friend who knew, and they did like a full evaluation and.

35:20🔗 Drew You know, I just thought about something that's really one of the differences between men and women. Has there ever been somebody that a male was obsessed with that he did not want to bang the bejesus out of, you know what I mean? Like, does it exist in the annals of history that a man become very obsessed with another human being he did not want to have sex with?

35:39🔗 Adam No.

35:40🔗 Drew Or wouldn't have had sex with?

35:41🔗 Caller Well, like how girls can look at other girls and say, oh, she's pretty and guys can't, you know? They're like, you must be gay.

35:47🔗 Drew Right. Well, we just say that. But yeah.

35:50🔗 Caller But like, I just I'll start cleaning, but like I'll make sure it's absolutely spotless because that's the only way I can get it like out of my head. We it being a teacher writing a letter to her or I see.

36:02🔗 Drew All right. So now teach what is this?

36:04🔗 Caller What is your teacher? What's your subject?

36:06🔗 Drew Full Mac. Yeah.

36:07🔗 Caller Well, because I was going through a lot of hard times and she like had this life that I wanted because I've always wanted to be an English teacher. And sure, she wasn't an English teacher.

36:18🔗 Drew Thirty three grand a year in a K car.

36:19🔗 Guttermouth I mean, summer's off, though.

36:21🔗 Drew Four cats in a one bedroom in Sherman Oaks. I mean, you that's a lie.

36:26🔗 Caller Do they throw in the K car?

36:28🔗 Drew Yeah, it's standard issue. Okay. Lauren, but you're on your medication now, right?

36:35🔗 Caller I don't take any medication.

36:36🔗 Drew No. Well, shouldn't you have some of that for your obsessive compulsive disorder?

36:40🔗 Caller I don't remember the name of the kind of doctor it is, but they've tried me on different medications and it makes it worse.

36:47🔗 Drew Okay. So this is under control now or not? Okay. And the teacher is still there and you've talked?

36:53🔗 Caller No.

36:53🔗 Drew No.

36:54🔗 Caller She left the school and I home school now, so I don't know who.

36:58🔗 Caller Home school.

36:59🔗 Adam So what's the question?

37:01🔗 Caller So if I turn my obsession to something else, is that okay?

37:06🔗 Adam Yeah, but studying.

37:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:08🔗 Caller What?

37:09🔗 Drew Studying.

37:10🔗 Guttermouth Volunteering.

37:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:12🔗 Drew Good things.

37:13🔗 Adam It is?

37:14🔗 Caller No.

37:15🔗 Adam No. Obsessive compulsive traits can be highly rewarded in our society. If it's things like studying or volunteerism or sort of productive activities that are rewarded by our society, those obsessive preoccupations can be fine. But if it becomes uncomfortable, if it becomes difficult to do things, if it makes you unhappy, then it needs to be treated.

37:37🔗 Caller It's just like spare of the moment things.

37:40🔗 Adam Well, if you can channel it, it will be fine.

37:43🔗 Caller Okay.

37:43🔗 Drew How's that homeschooling going, by the way?

37:46🔗 Caller It's okay. It's not something I would recommend.

37:49🔗 Drew I understand. And let me just... You're making me a friend. Is your mom your teacher?

37:55🔗 Caller No.

37:55🔗 Caller I just meet a teacher once a week.

37:58🔗 Drew Once a week?

37:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:59🔗 Drew One day?

38:01🔗 Caller For an hour.

38:01🔗 Caller Yeah. It's kind of nice.

38:02🔗 Caller I work during the week, so...

38:04🔗 Drew You put in an hour a week of school?

38:06🔗 Caller I did that in high school.

38:07🔗 Caller I do my schoolwork at home, but I just meet with the teacher once a week.

38:11🔗 Drew You do like a tutor?

38:12🔗 Caller Yeah, basically.

38:13🔗 Drew And just one-on-one? So do you still have to raise your hand if you have a question, or is it just pretty obvious? I mean, they just do the math.

38:20🔗 Caller My hand would be up the whole time, probably.

38:23🔗 Adam You're not pulling your hair out or anything like that?

38:25🔗 Caller Actually, and I had one other question.

38:26🔗 Adam Hang on. Do you pull in the hair or the eyebrows or anything?

38:29🔗 Caller Oh, no. No.

38:31🔗 Adam Okay. What's your other question?

38:34🔗 Caller Okay. I've heard you say stuff about dads, you know, if they're not in your life, about older men, and I've always been attracted to older men and, you know, some girls go for it, like subconsciously they want the control. And I know that that is what I want. Like, I don't want them to be a father at all, but I mean, I do want them to take care of everything. Is that bad?

38:58🔗 Drew No.

38:58🔗 Caller You know that I want that?

38:59🔗 Drew I mean, yes and no. We got to take a break. Well, you have a lot of questions, Lauren. Ask your home teacher about that.

39:08🔗 Adam It's a little bit misplaced. There's a little bit to be, you need to be taken care of is not a relationship built on mutuality.

39:14🔗 Drew Well, listen, I want to be an ass, but one question for a call. Really?

39:18🔗 Adam Take a break.

39:18🔗 Drew Mark, you did the home schooling?

39:19🔗 Caller Yeah, it's garbage. It's worthless. I did it for one semester and I was smart enough, thank God, to realize this is not, I'm learning nothing. It was like reading Janet and Mark.

39:30🔗 Drew And like PE and stuff, like just play softball alone?

39:33🔗 Caller No, you just tell them that you did it.

39:35🔗 Drew I see.

39:37🔗 Caller Yeah, it's garbage.

39:38🔗 Drew All right. Well, Guttermouth is here. It's the home schooling workout for Mark. We'll take ourselves a little break. He's going to drink a little more. Yeah. Try to forget the home schooling. And we'll be back.

39:50🔗 Adam Hello? Is this Loveline?

39:54🔗 Drew Hi, this is John Favreau, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Yes, he is. Yeah. Drew loves John Favreau.

40:03🔗 Adam What's he doing these days?

40:04🔗 Drew I don't know, Drew.

40:05🔗 Adam Can you continue to light up the...

40:07🔗 Drew I like John Favreau. I don't know what you got against the guy. Mark, Jamie, and Derek are all here from Guttermouth. I was just thinking, what was John Favreau up to? I swear to God, like two days ago, I will not announce he's doing nothing because he'll do something huge the second I announce that. Cover with Ants, I'm sorry, is the name of the CD.

40:30🔗 Adam Guttermouth.

40:31🔗 Drew Yeah, it works. I got a kitchen that's that way right now. You know what? My whole thing with Ants is mutual harmony. I don't even pretend to try to get rid of them.

40:42🔗 Guttermouth You can't.

40:43🔗 Drew They're just there. I do like what I do, and I think everyone else does, which is anytime I see a lone Ant, I announce that it's a Scout. Because it's important as a human to have a strategy. You know, so I'll see one anywhere and I'll go, Oh yeah, he's a Scout. He's out Scouting.

41:01🔗 Caller Do you crush it instantly?

41:02🔗 Drew I usually do. I think it's to rationalize, you know, the scouting thing is the way I rationalize crushing. It's like, I'd like to let you go, but you'll talk. That's what happened to the Lindbergh baby, I think, or everyone who got kidnapped after that. It's like, you got to kill them. They'll go, they'll talk. Yeah, so I had to crush the Scout, but then I think the other ones come to sort of avenge the Scout's death. It ends up backfiring on me. You know the thing about it, and I can't figure out is they go right past the obvious sometime and off to the weird stuff.

41:37🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, go past the popsicle and go for the toilet.

41:41🔗 Drew Yeah, there's a popsicle that's melting on the counter, they go right around that thing, and they're heading into the sink for something. It's like, what's up with that? And they're all in the line, and I know where they end up, I never know where they start. They're coming from something, it's under the microwave, but I don't know where. They're just coming out, and you put those bait traps down and stuff, that's comedy. They're laughing their asses off.

42:06🔗 Adam You ever heard about the Chinese chalk?

42:08🔗 Guttermouth Oh yeah.

42:09🔗 Adam Oh man.

42:10🔗 Drew Does that work? But what do you do?

42:13🔗 Adam You just draw a chalk line down, you won't ever see any more ants in your kitchen.

42:17🔗 Guttermouth That's like the battle line. It's drawn.

42:20🔗 Adam It's nuts. This stuff must be so toxic.

42:23🔗 Guttermouth It's a good thing if you have children around.

42:25🔗 Caller You see that at the campgrounds. People put that powder all the way around their little tent.

42:28🔗 Adam Really?

42:29🔗 Caller To outline the scout's body after you crush it?

42:31🔗 Drew Yeah. I mean, what do you do? But if it's in the... You see, it's not going to work. It's already in my kitchen.

42:39🔗 Adam They disappear. You put that chalk down, the ants run.

42:42🔗 Drew They don't just go around the chalk?

42:44🔗 Adam No. They take off. It's bizarre.

42:46🔗 Guttermouth You got to go to Chinatown and pick them up.

42:47🔗 Adam You ever see an ant run? You have to. It looks like it's right from China. You know it's got to be some other...

42:52🔗 Drew Ants are always running. Really? Do I got to go to Chinatown and get that?

42:57🔗 Adam Ask for the chalk.

42:58🔗 Caller You got to swap me.

42:59🔗 Guttermouth In Chinatown.

43:00🔗 Drew All right. I'll go down there and ask for that. Now do I call it... what do I call it?

43:04🔗 Adam The chalk.

43:05🔗 Drew The chalk?

43:05🔗 Adam Ant Chalk.

43:06🔗 Drew Ant Chalk. You got the chalk. You chalk! You chalk.

43:10🔗 Adam Chalk! Probably get it at a pharmacy too.

43:12🔗 Caller Chalk.

43:14🔗 Drew All right. I'm so going to have to find this for me.

43:17🔗 Adam You can chalk now.

43:18🔗 Guttermouth You chalk now.

43:18🔗 Drew You chalk now, Charlie.

43:21🔗 Adam You pay now.

43:23🔗 Caller Yeah?

43:23🔗 Adam What's going on, Amber? What's up?

43:25🔗 Caller Well, every time me and my boyfriend have sex, he says that it's too rough for him, but I can't get off if we don't do it that way.

43:34🔗 Adam Here's the irony. Amber's 14.

43:36🔗 Drew Oh, boy. How old is he?

43:38🔗 Caller He's 17.

43:39🔗 Drew What's going on with you, baby? Life going okay for you?

43:44🔗 Caller It's all right. I'll survive.

43:47🔗 Drew Really?

43:47🔗 Adam I think sometimes I think people like this, my theory is that they've been so badly traumatized that they sort of burned out their arousal systems in order to get aroused and have an experience. They have to super stimulate themselves because it's been so sort of, let's call it burned out. Right.

44:03🔗 Drew As opposed to me at 14 who was whacking off to a picture on a raft box. I was so easily stimulated, you know. Jesus Christ, a two-piece painting suit.

44:15🔗 Guttermouth She almost looks like Cheryl Tiggs.

44:17🔗 Drew Yeah, you close one eye, she looks like Cheryl Tiggs. This is great.

44:21🔗 Adam Oh my God.

44:22🔗 Drew Yeah. Kurt's got a color TV at his dad's house. You ever seen a color TV? It's great. It's got four channels.

44:30🔗 Adam She's got ginger. Even Marianne's looking good.

44:34🔗 Drew Amber, have you been abused or anything?

44:37🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

44:39🔗 Drew Yeah. What happened?

44:41🔗 Caller Well, my uncle, he would be tickling me or whatever, and just all of a sudden, there his hands were like in my pants.

44:51🔗 Drew You ever report this to anyone or anything like that?

44:53🔗 Caller Well, I told my mom just a little while ago, and she told me that it's my fault that I didn't tell anyone because now some other little girl is going to get raped.

45:04🔗 Adam Oh, that's nice. That makes you feel good. But listen, usually though, in my experience, with the kind of thing you're complaining about where you can't get stimulated by normal sex is a physical abuse. Did anybody hit you or anything like that when you were growing up?

45:17🔗 Caller Well, pretty much my dad did, but only if I did something bad like cleaning your room.

45:23🔗 Adam It doesn't matter.

45:24🔗 Guttermouth So he hit you.

45:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:26🔗 Drew Okay, Amber, listen, we got a real limited amount of time, so I'm going to try to cram a lot of information in your head. Okay, you cannot get pregnant. Do you hear me?

45:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:35🔗 Drew You can't have kids for a good long time because your life will go from bad to worse and you will take someone with you. That's your child and part of society. Do you understand?

45:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:47🔗 Drew If you're going to have sex, and I know I'm not going to get you to stop, you got to use protection. Are you using protection?

45:53🔗 Caller No.

45:53🔗 Drew You have to. You have to. Amber, I know you don't think much of your life right now, and I know you've been to Hell and Back at 14 years old, and you just don't care, but you have to. You have to because you need to buy yourself some time. You need to stay in school. You need to not get pregnant. You need to get some therapy. You need to feel better about yourself, and you can have a great life. You really can.

46:16🔗 Adam You can not hurt somebody else, a kid.

46:19🔗 Drew If you're going to have sex, you got to go down to Planned Parenthood and get some protection. Understand? Do you hear me?

46:27🔗 Adam And if you decide to use condoms, make sure you have that morning after pill around because condoms fail sometimes.

46:31🔗 Drew Do not get pregnant. All right?

46:35🔗 Adam All right.

46:35🔗 Drew And you got to get some therapy.

46:37🔗 Caller Well, I'm in counseling now, but...

46:38🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

46:39🔗 Adam Excellent.

46:40🔗 Drew Good. Good. Good.

46:42🔗 Caller All right.

46:43🔗 Drew Let's go have some more beer, okay? We'll be back with Gutter Mouth. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Mark, Jamie, and Derek are all here from Gutter Mouth. Covered with ants is the name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that CD, which is just out on Tuesday. So buy it. Buy it. It is in our record stores as we speak, and you can probably get it through all that.com stuff on the internet. That's true. Let's take a question for the band. Alan?

47:26🔗 Yeah.

47:27🔗 Drew You're 15. What's up?

47:30🔗 Caller I just wonder, first of all, Adam, I gotta say that you're doing a really good job on the man show.

47:37🔗 Drew Oh, thank you. Turn your radio down, though, please.

47:39🔗 Guttermouth Do you ever get calls when they say, Adam, you're doing a really poor job?

47:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. We're usually from family members, but the kids enjoy it.

47:47🔗 Guttermouth I find those refreshing, though.

47:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:49🔗 Drew Mix it up a little.

47:50🔗 Caller A little salt in with the sugar.

47:51🔗 Guttermouth Because no one actually will turn out and say it.

47:53🔗 Drew Keeps you humble. Sure. Alan?

47:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:56🔗 Drew You're back. You have a question for Guttermouth?

47:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

47:59🔗 Caller I was wondering, I'm going to Texas for the summer, and I was wondering, are they having a show in Austin?

48:06🔗 Guttermouth You bet, dude.

48:07🔗 Drew Yes.

48:07🔗 Adam We'll be there in May 11.

48:09🔗 Guttermouth May 11. Sweet.

48:11🔗 Caller It's my birthday.

48:12🔗 Drew They're hitting Houston, Dallas, San Antonio. And they're going to be around Texas.

48:17🔗 Caller You'll see them with EMOs.

48:18🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

48:21🔗 Caller Shut your friends up.

48:24🔗 Caller Yeah. My little brother, BJ.

48:25🔗 Guttermouth Oh, gross.

48:27🔗 Caller I haven't changed his name, quick.

48:28🔗 Caller Yes.

48:29🔗 Guttermouth My real name is Brian.

48:31🔗 Don't call me Blowjob.

48:32🔗 Drew Nice. Is he four? Yeah.

48:35🔗 Caller He's like, he's ten, fourth grader.

48:37🔗 Drew He's got an older brother named Felcho.

48:40🔗 Caller Yeah. And I was going to say, Dr. Drew, you helped one of my friends out a couple of months ago real well.

48:46🔗 Adam Oh, good.

48:47🔗 Caller Yeah, he had a little problem and he went to the doctor and got it all fixed up.

48:51🔗 Adam Cool.

48:51🔗 Drew Thanks, Alan.

48:52🔗 Adam Thanks.

48:53🔗 Drew So, they'll see you on the 11th, right?

48:55🔗 Caller Come up and say hi.

48:56🔗 Drew I will. All right. Good times, buddy. Bye-bye. Let's talk to Alan, who's another Alan, actually. He's 20, Alan.

49:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:05🔗 Drew What's up?

49:05🔗 Caller Got to say hi to Drew and my idol.

49:08🔗 Drew That's me?

49:09🔗 Caller And the band, yeah.

49:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:10🔗 Drew Hey, how you doing?

49:11🔗 Caller Hi.

49:12🔗 Caller My radio idol, that is.

49:13🔗 Drew Thank you. And also for clarification.

49:15🔗 Caller Right.

49:17🔗 Caller Before I get my question out, I want to request that I hear the John Popper Jam with you guys.

49:22🔗 Drew Oh, the old John Popper Jam.

49:25🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't know if that's...

49:26🔗 Adam Well, there it is.

49:26🔗 Guttermouth We can reenact it for you.

49:27🔗 Drew I haven't heard that one in a long time.

49:30🔗 Guttermouth Let me guess, does it have a harmonica in it?

49:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:33🔗 Caller Here it is.

49:35🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm on, Drew's on bass, I'm on guitar here.

49:40🔗 Caller Beautiful. Yeah.

49:41🔗 Beautiful.

49:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

49:44🔗 Adam I thought you, I thought you played saxophone.

49:49🔗 Drew I think I'm playing guitar in this one.

49:55🔗 Whoa.

49:55🔗 Drew A little impromptu jam with Sean Popper. That's you on the bass, right?

50:00🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, yeah.

50:02🔗 Drew What kind of bass you play?

50:04🔗 Guttermouth I play 64 jazz, I'm sure.

50:08🔗 Adam Tell me what it was that night.

50:09🔗 Drew Yeah, sometimes you bring 63, sometimes 65.

50:13🔗 Guttermouth You got a 70s music man, of course, too. Who doesn't?

50:15🔗 Adam Yeah, I bet that's what it was.

50:17🔗 Drew Yeah, it's hard to keep track. He keeps a full arsenal of basses in the back of the SUV.

50:22🔗 Caller Us big musicians as well, we always lose track of what instruments we play.

50:26🔗 Adam We do, don't we?

50:27🔗 Guttermouth We don't know.

50:28🔗 Drew Yeah, let's say Drew was pretty high. Yeah, of course. To be fair, when he jams.

50:33🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, anytime Drew's busting out the blues, he's a little... You know.

50:39🔗 Drew Alan? Yeah. So what's your question?

50:42🔗 Caller I have a friend, she's 21, not my girlfriend, it's a friend, and she's anorexic and bulimic, kind of both at the same time.

50:49🔗 Adam Which is a common... They basically the same disorder, though, so.

50:53🔗 Caller Well, she hardly eats anything and the way she does, she throws it up. And a lot of times, she'll call me up right when she got done throwing up, and I don't know what to say, what to do.

51:01🔗 Adam What does she announce to you as she picks up the phone? Guess what I just did?

51:05🔗 Drew Guess who heaved.

51:06🔗 Caller She'll call me and she'll be crying, and it's obvious, like, why are you crying? Like, whatever.

51:11🔗 Adam Why do you ask that question in the first place since you know what the answer is? Why get into that?

51:15🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, she's crying, what are you going to say?

51:17🔗 Drew And what's up with the relationship? I know you're not dating her, but why not? Is someone interested in someone?

51:24🔗 Caller I've had a girlfriend for two years.

51:26🔗 Drew Do you think she likes you? No. Why is she calling you crying after she throws up?

51:32🔗 Caller We've been really, really close friends for a long time.

51:34🔗 Adam What started the relationship, the friendship?

51:37🔗 Caller Just actually we were both deadheads and we just had that in common and we already met her at school.

51:43🔗 Drew All right.

51:44🔗 Caller We've just always been talking about that.

51:45🔗 Adam Just prepare for the fact that she's probably into you, big time.

51:48🔗 Guttermouth Well, she's not alone.

51:49🔗 Adam I've thrown up at a dead concert, but listen, you've got to realize, I think she's India that she may not have copped to it, but that's what's going on.

51:57🔗 Drew Do you think she's India, Alan? I don't know.

52:00🔗 Caller There's a thing too, she was abused as a kid and stuff. She always attracts the bad guys. She's always going out with guys that are going to be mean to her and stuff.

52:08🔗 Drew All right. So what do you want to know?

52:12🔗 Caller What's appropriate for me to say to her, even on a common day, should I be asking her?

52:17🔗 Adam What kind of help is she getting? What kind of treatment is she getting?

52:20🔗 Caller She was in a program for about a month where she was an inpatient. She came out of that and she was good for about three months.

52:26🔗 Adam Why didn't she follow up with an outpatient program or follow up at least?

52:29🔗 Caller I don't know. She sees a therapist once a week, but that's what I think.

52:32🔗 Adam Well, that's what you need to do. You either need to contact that therapist and find out specifically what you can do, or you need to just keep referring her back to the people that are taking care of her.

52:39🔗 Drew Well, is she really going to contact the therapist?

52:42🔗 Adam I got a therapist.

52:43🔗 Drew I can't contact the guy. I don't know what his number is.

52:45🔗 Adam That's the options. Okay? But you can't really do anything else. You can be a good friend. You can listen. You can be available. Certainly I wouldn't give too much back. I just listen and be available. But set limits on that. You're not available 24-7. You're available certain periods of time when you feel you can be. And that's it. That's all you can do.

53:03🔗 Drew And I don't want to be cruel, but as you get older, you realize you can't save everybody. And people... Here's the deal about friendship. It's not like you guys are friends and then that's it. You know, this person can steal or do heroin or be a racist or try to kill you, but you're friends. You know, there's that thought when you're 19, 20, 21. That's that thought. And when you get a little bit older, you kind of realize, hey, you got to go back and forth here. I mean, if this person ain't holding up their end of the bargain, you weed them out. Yeah, you weed them out. And it's not that these people don't deserve help or that they don't need love or that you can't be compassionate toward people. But at a certain point, you can't just play nurse to everybody.

53:50🔗 Adam You set limits. You set limits. And speaking of limit setting, these guys have a very interesting destination in June on their tour.

53:56🔗 Drew Which is?

53:56🔗 Adam Kamloops, British Columbia.

53:58🔗 Guttermouth Oh, it's a real treat there, eh?

54:01🔗 Adam Kamloops.

54:02🔗 Drew Hey, have you been there?

54:03🔗 Guttermouth Hey, it's better than Saskatoon.

54:05🔗 Drew Really? No, I've not been to Kamloops. Where is that?

54:09🔗 Guttermouth It's in the middle of nowhere.

54:11🔗 Adam British Columbia.

54:12🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, it's in BC., but...

54:14🔗 Drew Have you been there, Drew?

54:15🔗 Adam No, but I mean, what a bizarre destination for a rock tour.

54:19🔗 Guttermouth We hit all the hotspots there.

54:22🔗 Adam Yeah, well, that's got... It's Tampa, Atlanta, New York City, Kamloops. Kamloops.

54:26🔗 Caller Big punk movement there in Kamloops.

54:28🔗 Guttermouth Sydney, London, Berlin, Kamloops.

54:30🔗 Drew It's Guttermouth country over there. Are you kidding me?

54:32🔗 Caller We've covered that guy's topic on our recognition. It's the Bible Belt there.

54:36🔗 Guttermouth Kamloops. Sort of now, almost.

54:38🔗 Drew BC sounds okay to me. I don't think I've been there, but it sounds good.

54:42🔗 Guttermouth Stay away from Saskatchewan.

54:44🔗 Drew Really? I have heard stories about that. Why?

54:47🔗 Bible Belt?

54:49🔗 Guttermouth Mark had a little incident there in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

54:53🔗 Caller I was asked to... Actually, I wasn't asked. I was drugging handcuffs to a plane and said, Get the hell out of our country.

54:59🔗 Drew Really? Well, what did you do?

55:02🔗 Caller I was... Well, as you know, Jamie and I are stand-up comedians and magicians on the side. And we were doing a magic act before our performance where I would make my penis disappear.

55:12🔗 Adam Yeah, my penis come out of my pants. I somehow knew that was happening.

55:15🔗 Guttermouth Oh, come on.

55:16🔗 Caller But I would actually make it disappear. And it was pretty fantastic and breathtaking. But some of the kids went home.

55:20🔗 Guttermouth A cloud of smoke didn't work and the mirrors failed.

55:24🔗 Yeah.

55:25🔗 Caller Kids told their parents. Parents called the cops. Cops came to our hotel. They arrested me. I sat in jail for days and days and days and days. Then they finally said, Don't come back to our country.

55:34🔗 Drew Wow. That's sort of a nice feather to have in your rock and roll camp, isn't it?

55:39🔗 Caller I suppose, yeah.

55:41🔗 Guttermouth In hindsight, yeah. At the time, the rest of the band had to spend a week in Saskatoon sitting in the $20 hotel waiting for them.

55:48🔗 Caller Five beds in one hotel. It was pretty crazy.

55:51🔗 Drew You couldn't have found a lead singer in Saskatoon, but you had a week.

55:55🔗 Caller And two of us had to drive the trucks all the way back to Vancouver from Canada for no reason.

56:00🔗 Guttermouth Hey, you got McDonald's in prison. Yeah, that's right.

56:02🔗 Caller They fed us McDonald's. Morning, noon, and night there.

56:05🔗 Drew Well, it kind of... I mean, it's probably cheaper for them just to have one of the mayonnaise go through the drive thru, right?

56:12🔗 Caller The RCMP was there.

56:15🔗 Drew You ate Egg McMuffin for breakfast, and you had like... and coffee, and then you had like a quarter pounder for lunch, maybe a McRib for dinner.

56:25🔗 Caller No, you're so wrong. It was basically you'd have the Egg McMuffin, coffee, then you'd go, Happy Meal, Happy Meal. Oh, repeat performance.

56:32🔗 Guttermouth Raw, seal, blubber, we didn't even devil in the flay of fishes or anything.

56:37🔗 Caller Right next to the drunk native puking next to you.

56:41🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, he had a lot of Indian friends.

56:42🔗 Caller Mostly Indian country up there.

56:43🔗 Drew Oh boy.

56:44🔗 Caller So I was locked up with a bunch of...

56:46🔗 Guttermouth The Native Canadians.

56:47🔗 Caller Native Canadians, yes.

56:47🔗 Drew Bad, bad, bad times. Yeah, that's a certain breed of camp, those Canadians.

56:53🔗 Adam I'm just curious, do the Canadians take the same wrap upon themselves for having settled the Indian country?

56:59🔗 Guttermouth They don't admit to it as much, but let me tell you, they did a number on them.

57:03🔗 Adam Oh yeah, I know they did, but they put them to war, they made them fight wars for them, and they had them. But they don't take that guilt, do they?

57:10🔗 Caller I regard the Canadians as bloodthirsty savages myself.

57:14🔗 Drew Really, do they?

57:15🔗 Guttermouth Generalizing, of course.

57:16🔗 Drew You know, I had a bad time in customs when I was going to Montreal, right? Canada? Yeah, it is. You know, the thing about Canada though is they get in under the radar most of the time, you know? They're not known as troublemakers. They're generally accepted. We love Michael J. Fox and Alan Thicke, and of course...

57:36🔗 Adam Tom Green.

57:37🔗 Guttermouth Peter Jennings.

57:38🔗 Drew Tom Green and Peter Jennings. You know, they send over like a handful of like sort of ambassadors. Yeah, here you go. Here's a Bachman Turner overdrive.

57:47🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, rock out.

57:48🔗 Drew We're all great this way. Then you go across the board, and you realize a whole different thing going on over there.

57:54🔗 Guttermouth It's the worst border to cross out of everywhere we've been.

57:57🔗 Adam Yeah, everywhere.

57:59🔗 Caller It's the toughest. We've smuggled, I mean, things into like Europe. Any country is just like walking the park.

58:06🔗 Drew But Canada, forget it. You know what Canada is a lot like? It's a lot like when some young Catholic boys, they have this same priest, and they all get molested by the priest, but none of them know it. But then one day, they all sit down in a room, and they start opening up and telling you, you got screwed in Canada too? Me too, I was scared to say anything.

58:26🔗 Guttermouth All the bands know.

58:27🔗 Drew I was scared to be labeled and called nuts. Turns out, yeah.

58:31🔗 Guttermouth Legal bribery, bribery, excuse me, works there.

58:34🔗 Drew Emanuel?

58:36🔗 Yes.

58:36🔗 Drew You're 13?

58:37🔗 Caller Yes.

58:38🔗 Drew What's up?

58:39🔗 Caller Recently, like, like, PUSS has come out with, like, blood.

58:44🔗 Drew Of where?

58:45🔗 Guttermouth Dr. Drew.

58:46🔗 Caller Out of my penis.

58:47🔗 Drew I see. Bad times. Are you sexually active?

58:52🔗 Caller Uh, no.

58:53🔗 Drew No.

58:53🔗 Adam PUSS came out with blood. And why haven't you had that looked into?

58:57🔗 Caller Um, well, it just happened today.

58:59🔗 Adam Okay, why don't you have that checked out?

59:01🔗 Caller Okay.

59:02🔗 Drew Who should he go to?

59:04🔗 Adam A regular doctor.

59:05🔗 Drew Do you have a doctor?

59:06🔗 Caller Uh, yeah.

59:07🔗 Drew You do?

59:08🔗 Adam Did it happen when you were peeing?

59:10🔗 Caller Um, no. It just, like, happened all of a sudden. It took like a few minutes to go while I was holding. Yeah. And then I just burned it out.

59:18🔗 Adam It happened again.

59:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:20🔗 Drew How do you know it was PUSS? How do you know it wasn't some semen?

59:24🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

59:25🔗 Caller It smelled like semen. But it was like orange.

59:29🔗 Caller Did you get kicked in the balls or something?

59:32🔗 Adam Did you, did you, was this after masturbating?

59:37🔗 Caller I had masturbated in the morning, but it happened like around school time, I think, because like I had to go to the restroom and my teacher wouldn't let me. And then when I came out, I had to go to the restroom. So I went and when I burned it out, I hurt it all of a sudden.

59:52🔗 Adam Hurt when you peed?

59:53🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

59:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. Something's going on here. Got an infection there. You've got to get that checked out.

59:57🔗 Drew And I was just thinking about it.

59:58🔗 Adam Not sexually active, though.

59:59🔗 Drew The teacher not letting him go to the bathroom.

1:00:01🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

1:00:02🔗 Drew That's a weird thing that you forget about as you become an adult. Like, you got to ask, hey, Bob, I got to take a leak. Sorry.

1:00:09🔗 Guttermouth You hold the chair.

1:00:10🔗 Drew Now's not the time. Why don't we just push on through to lunch and then... No, it's like you get so used to asking someone if you can take a leak for like the first 18 years of your life.

1:00:21🔗 Caller It's like being in a Canadian prison.

1:00:23🔗 Drew That's right. Hey, Tonto, I'm going to take a leak over here. You okay with that or you need to vomit in there again?

1:00:31🔗 Guttermouth Keep your eyes to yourself, eh?

1:00:32🔗 Drew Yeah. Tell you what, there's two fries in it for you if you keep an eye on the Happy Meal while I'm taking a leak.

1:00:40🔗 Guttermouth And a loony. And a loony.

1:00:42🔗 Drew Keep Ironside Cody away from us.

1:00:46🔗 Caller I want Litter.

1:00:47🔗 Drew All right. Drew. Drew, you're, you're 16.

1:00:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:53🔗 Drew What's up?

1:00:54🔗 Caller Oh, well, I've been having sex with my girlfriend.

1:00:58🔗 Caller Uh-huh. And she wants to give me a blowjob.

1:01:02🔗 Drew Yeah, you're not going to fall for that trick, are you? No way.

1:01:06🔗 Caller Oh, before I get to it.

1:01:09🔗 Guttermouth To the blowjob.

1:01:10🔗 Caller To Dr. Drew?

1:01:10🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

1:01:11🔗 Caller Um, you need to sock that black guy on your TV show.

1:01:15🔗 Adam Okay. Why?

1:01:16🔗 Because he's anointing as hell.

1:01:18🔗 Adam Okay, Drew.

1:01:18🔗 Caller And to the group.

1:01:19🔗 Adam He's actually a pretty nice guy.

1:01:22🔗 Caller And to the group.

1:01:22🔗 Guttermouth Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:23🔗 Caller Your songs are awesome. Thanks.

1:01:25🔗 Caller Is there anyone we should sock?

1:01:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:27🔗 Caller We would love to.

1:01:28🔗 Drew Any minorities like them to smack around a little?

1:01:31🔗 Caller You did say sock and that's suck, right?

1:01:32🔗 Guttermouth Good for us.

1:01:33🔗 Caller You could sock each other. Oh, good.

1:01:35🔗 Drew All right. Caller Drew?

1:01:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:38🔗 Drew Yeah. What's your question again?

1:01:40🔗 Caller Well, I've been having sex with my girlfriend and I just feel discomfort when she wants to give me a blowjob.

1:01:47🔗 Adam What kind of discomfort?

1:01:49🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:01:49🔗 I just get real nervous and you know.

1:01:51🔗 Adam And what are you afraid of?

1:01:53🔗 Caller Nothing.

1:01:53🔗 Guttermouth Does she have braces?

1:01:55🔗 Caller No.

1:01:55🔗 Adam Well, you're afraid of nothing, yet you get afraid.

1:01:58🔗 Caller Well, you know what I mean.

1:01:59🔗 Drew Well, how's your penis?

1:02:01🔗 Caller I'm fine physically.

1:02:03🔗 Adam What's your fantasy is that's going to happen that would make you afraid?

1:02:07🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:02:07🔗 Adam What's the worst thing that could happen when she puts that in her mouth?

1:02:10🔗 Caller I have no idea.

1:02:11🔗 Caller Are you circumcised?

1:02:13🔗 Caller No.

1:02:14🔗 Drew Oh, so you're a little freaked out about that?

1:02:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:17🔗 Drew You think it's smelly or something?

1:02:19🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean.

1:02:20🔗 Adam What is the worst thing? Just what's the first thing that pops in your mind? What's the worst thing that could happen when she tries to do this?

1:02:26🔗 Drew Yeah, there you go. Big heave right on the belly.

1:02:30🔗 Adam Is that it?

1:02:31🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:02:32🔗 Adam Maybe.

1:02:32🔗 Guttermouth No, just hold her and she'll turn you on.

1:02:35🔗 Drew Drew, can I go take a leak if you're going to keep going down this line of questions? I'm going to try it again. Keep going with me. I'll answer for him. Go ahead.

1:02:42🔗 Adam What are you afraid of?

1:02:43🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:02:44🔗 Adam What are you afraid is going to happen?

1:02:45🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:02:46🔗 Adam What are you afraid might happen?

1:02:47🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:02:49🔗 Adam What's a fantasy you might have?

1:02:50🔗 Drew I don't know.

1:02:51🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:02:51🔗 Caller What could possibly go wrong?

1:02:52🔗 Drew I don't know. I don't know.

1:02:53🔗 Adam Well, guys can feel pretty vulnerable.

1:02:55🔗 Drew Don't care to speculate.

1:02:57🔗 Adam With a penis in somebody's mouth.

1:02:58🔗 Drew What's that?

1:02:59🔗 Adam Guys can feel pretty vulnerable and they can be afraid that they're going to get swallowed up, get bit and all kinds of funny little fantasies.

1:03:05🔗 Guttermouth You got your fist right by the air-drawer. It's sudden.

1:03:09🔗 Adam That's right. Would you put it like in a piranhas? You know what I mean? Like where your fist is.

1:03:13🔗 Caller That's why I asked if she had braces. Bring the safety hammer or the... Hammer block.

1:03:20🔗 Guttermouth That'll set her straight.

1:03:20🔗 Caller I don't know where the hell I think that's it.

1:03:24🔗 Drew You start with that.

1:03:24🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:25🔗 Drew Drew needs to give himself a nice wash in so he feels extra comfortable down there and just go right on in. They don't make a deodorant for the penis and nut sack, but...

1:03:36🔗 Adam Oh, Adam, there's a man show line here.

1:03:39🔗 Drew Yeah. Oh, ho, ho. Sack deodorant.

1:03:41🔗 Adam Powder sack.

1:03:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, I mean, listen, if you're going to give your pits a wipe, you certainly could give the underside of the sack a little love before you left the house.

1:03:50🔗 Caller We found a trick.

1:03:51🔗 Guttermouth It was a good trick for that.

1:03:52🔗 Drew What is it? What do you use?

1:03:54🔗 Caller Baby wipes.

1:03:55🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:03:56🔗 Guttermouth That's for tour, Randy, the band guy's name.

1:03:57🔗 Drew Nice. Nice. So, oh...

1:03:59🔗 Caller We have disposable ones, too, that you can actually flush into the toilet.

1:04:01🔗 Guttermouth You always got to swab the deck a few minutes later. Swab the deck. The baby wipes.

1:04:05🔗 Drew So, you guys, like, you're playing in some pit in Louisiana in August, right?

1:04:09🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

1:04:10🔗 Drew You've sweated off 15 pounds up there on stage, and there's a couple of anxious groupies waiting by the bus. No time for a shower.

1:04:18🔗 Guttermouth Baby wipes.

1:04:18🔗 Drew Yeah, who's going to deny them their love?

1:04:20🔗 Caller A bag in the backpack with baby wipes.

1:04:22🔗 Drew Pow!

1:04:22🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

1:04:23🔗 Drew Nice.

1:04:23🔗 Guttermouth Fresh scent.

1:04:25🔗 Drew It's nice.

1:04:25🔗 Adam The thing in the man show, like, you have the wipes, the eau de toilette, the powder, all the sack needs.

1:04:32🔗 Drew The baby wipes is a nice call.

1:04:34🔗 Adam You have to brand it, you know, with Jimmy there with a big smile on his face.

1:04:39🔗 Drew No, no, this exists in the form of baby wipes. I don't want to reinvent the wheel. I like that.

1:04:44🔗 Caller The extra strength gold bond. It's tangible.

1:04:46🔗 Guttermouth The extra strength gold bond.

1:04:47🔗 Caller I mean, it's like a thousand-finger massage for your balls.

1:04:51🔗 Drew But the gold bond is wonderful. We do it for fun. Before you hit the stage, right?

1:04:56🔗 Caller Yeah, it's just kind of exhilarating.

1:04:58🔗 Drew It wakes you up.

1:04:58🔗 Caller It's blood pumping.

1:04:59🔗 Drew Right. Yeah, that's nice.

1:05:01🔗 Caller Do you have any here?

1:05:02🔗 Drew No, I...

1:05:02🔗 Caller We should pass it around the table here.

1:05:04🔗 Drew I'm going to grab some of that. I'm going to grab that baby wipe, too. You know, I've told this...

1:05:09🔗 Guttermouth We all have kids, so we know.

1:05:10🔗 Drew I've told this story before, but it really bears repeating. My man show partner, Jimmy Kimmel, got used to using some baby wipe type things that his wife had left around the house.

1:05:23🔗 Caller It has a couple of uses because you can use it on the swab the deck situation, you know, and then you can use it in that situation. You just explain. You know, like you want to freshen up.

1:05:32🔗 Adam He was using it to wipe his ass.

1:05:33🔗 Drew He was using it to wipe his... He was using it to wipe his ass after he wiped his ass or something. The point is, is then his wife swapped that out for something that looked like it but was not it. These were the Mr. Clean wipes for wiping around the toilet and sink. They had like ammonia and chloroxidant in a pine scent. He wiped his ass with those for like a week and couldn't figure out where the pain was coming from.

1:05:59🔗 Guttermouth Developing some fissures.

1:06:02🔗 Caller I get them free from the kernel. That's what I do. Right.

1:06:05🔗 Drew It's essentially when he's wiping his ass with moist towelettes. All right. Why don't we take ourselves a little break? Guttermouth is here. We'll all wipe down and we'll be back with a song after this.

1:06:20🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready.

1:06:35🔗 Drew Yep, Loveline of Adam Corolla, that, oh, Lakers joined us. It's Guttermouth. Dr. Drew's over there. And the phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191, Mark, Jamie, and Derek are all here from Guttermouth. And Covered with Ants is the name of the CD. Drew's sporting the Guttermouth cap, as am I. You look great, Drew. And we wear the swag. Believe you me. What's that? Hey Anderson, can we turn all the mikes on?

1:07:04🔗 Caller Is that cool?

1:07:05🔗 Adam Hello. I'm not a hat guy. Am I?

1:07:08🔗 Caller You look right at home in that hat.

1:07:09🔗 Adam Really? You do.

1:07:10🔗 Drew Now you're not a hat guy.

1:07:11🔗 Adam No, it just doesn't. It feels good.

1:07:13🔗 Drew I like wearing hats, but it just doesn't look right. You know what you look like when you put the hat on?

1:07:17🔗 Caller A T-ball coach.

1:07:20🔗 Drew That's pretty good. I was going to say, you know those kids that get that premature ageing disease, that Yoda disease.

1:07:28🔗 Caller I believe they're one of the main cases.

1:07:29🔗 Guttermouth Warren Publix loves that.

1:07:30🔗 Drew Yeah, they're like 8 years old, but they look like they're 48. And they take them to Disneyland, put a cap on them.

1:07:38🔗 Guttermouth I think it looks great.

1:07:39🔗 Drew Yeah, take the glasses off, put the cap on, and you really cultivate that premature ageing weird kid disease.

1:07:44🔗 Caller What's that kid's name? Francie was the most highly publicized case of that.

1:07:48🔗 Adam Progeria.

1:07:49🔗 Drew Progeria?

1:07:50🔗 Adam Progeria.

1:07:51🔗 Drew Oh boy. Is it really? It's really like you're aging.

1:07:55🔗 Adam Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

1:07:57🔗 Drew Oh, that's bad times.

1:07:57🔗 Guttermouth It's quite disturbing to...

1:07:58🔗 Adam And the arteries, you see them, but the inside stuff is what really freaks those of us who are doctors out. But their arteries calcify, look like they're nine years old.

1:08:06🔗 Drew But they don't pass through all the stages. They don't go through puberty, right?

1:08:12🔗 Adam No.

1:08:13🔗 Drew I mean, they kind of like hop from being kids to being old men. Yep.

1:08:18🔗 Guttermouth Short old men.

1:08:18🔗 Drew Yeah, bad times. Can they do anything about that?

1:08:21🔗 Adam Nothing to worry about.

1:08:22🔗 Drew No. Maury Povich does enjoy that, doesn't he?

1:08:25🔗 Caller Maury's great. He had an interesting case on the other day. He had this woman who was terrified of llamas, which was very unfortunate because...

1:08:33🔗 Drew Well, living in LA., I mean, it's a backbreaker.

1:08:35🔗 Caller How do you get around? But her lifelong dream was to become a zookeeper, so the plot thickened there. It was very terrifying.

1:08:41🔗 Adam Oh, my God. Here you go.

1:08:42🔗 Guttermouth Have a hat.

1:08:43🔗 Adam I got to get out of daytime.

1:08:45🔗 Drew Yeah, you do, Drew. That's who's beating you. Do you understand? Yeah, I do. The llama phobic is kicking your ass at 10 a.m. with Maury. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, at that time. Scared of llama. And by the way, could there be an easier animal to like than a llama?

1:09:05🔗 Guttermouth Well, they can spit at you, but you know.

1:09:07🔗 Drew Yeah, that's true.

1:09:08🔗 Guttermouth Other than that, what are they going to do?

1:09:10🔗 Drew They seem like decent enough animals.

1:09:12🔗 Guttermouth They're going to refuse to carry your pack up the next leg of the hike.

1:09:16🔗 Drew Yeah, you screw you, you sherpa. Carry yourself. I'll go nowhere. Carry your own tent. All right, we will take ourselves another call, then we'll hear a Guttermouth song. William?

1:09:30🔗 Yeah.

1:09:30🔗 Drew You're 23, what's up?

1:09:33🔗 Caller Well, me and my ex-girlfriend, we have a child together and we broke up about a year ago. And she just came to me a couple weeks ago and said that she had herpes. The problem being is I just got the results from my semi-annual test. I get every six months. And that came back negative. And all the ones in the past have come back negative.

1:09:59🔗 Adam You get a herpes test every six months?

1:10:02🔗 Caller I just get general because I'm kind of worried.

1:10:07🔗 Adam So, I understand.

1:10:09🔗 Drew They didn't test for herpes.

1:10:10🔗 Adam They don't test for herpes.

1:10:12🔗 Caller They don't?

1:10:13🔗 Adam No.

1:10:14🔗 Guttermouth Almost everybody's got it. Don't worry.

1:10:17🔗 Adam It's a very difficult thing to diagnose with tests. The only thing you can do is do a viral culture when you have an outbreak. If you haven't had an outbreak, it's a clinical diagnosis primarily. If you haven't had an outbreak, you just relax.

1:10:27🔗 Drew William, you really get a full work up every six months?

1:10:32🔗 Caller I try to.

1:10:33🔗 Adam You're 23, William, relax.

1:10:36🔗 Drew What are you looking for?

1:10:37🔗 Caller Well, what had happened was a few years, many years back, a stranger had taken advantage of me.

1:10:50🔗 Adam A male?

1:10:51🔗 Caller Yes.

1:10:52🔗 Drew So now you're trying to gain control by...

1:10:54🔗 Adam Now wait a minute, you were sexually abused when you were a kid? Yes, I was raped. Why don't you get that treated? Looking for a physical...

1:11:04🔗 Caller Well, no, it's more so... It's not looking for anything, you know, it's just to make sure that nothing is wrong with me.

1:11:11🔗 Adam Yes, but that's the point. That's a manifestation of the emotional condition you're in. Why don't you get that taken care of? That is what the trauma, the post-traumatic stress is, what's going to be with you forever. Don't worry about the physical. You're 23, you're healthier than you're ever going to be in your whole life. You're preoccupying about that now. You're not going to...

1:11:27🔗 Caller I'm not so much preoccupied, but when she said that, it kind of bugged me. I have never noticed any sort of outbreak symptoms.

1:11:38🔗 Drew Let's get back to the trauma and the main point here, William, which is you probably don't have herpes, but if you did, it wouldn't have shown up on the general physical unless they were looking for it. Let's just say for the sake of argument, so you can sleep tonight, but you don't have herpes. All right, but the sexual abuse, the rape, I mean, that's something you've got to deal with.

1:12:00🔗 Adam That's your main health issue.

1:12:02🔗 Caller Well, I mean, it doesn't...

1:12:03🔗 Adam All right, forget it.

1:12:05🔗 Caller It's not so much of it. It really hasn't bugged me. It was, you know, because I've seen, I saw like two psychiatrists about it, and it wasn't until recently when I started, I'm a little more able to deal with it, you know, because...

1:12:19🔗 Drew Okay, but the point is, is it does affect your life because you're getting these physicals at age 23 and they're not necessary?

1:12:28🔗 Caller It's not as bad as it used to be because I could not be in the same room with a guy alone.

1:12:32🔗 Adam Yeah, but William, if I had talked to you five years ago, you'd be telling me the same thing, I can handle it, I don't need it, I'm fine.

1:12:37🔗 Caller No, no, no, no. Five years ago, it was a mess.

1:12:40🔗 Drew Okay.

1:12:41🔗 Adam Did you see someone then? Yes.

1:12:42🔗 Caller And what did they... That's the whole reason I started seeing someone because it got to the point where I couldn't even be around my friends.

1:12:48🔗 Adam And so, how long did you stay with that therapist?

1:12:51🔗 Caller I was doing it up until about a year ago. Okay. All right.

1:12:54🔗 Adam That's just important that you got some agreement.

1:12:56🔗 Drew But it may be time to get back in it. I mean, it couldn't wait, as the old Jewish joke goes.

1:13:01🔗 Adam I thought it was a bigger health issue.

1:13:03🔗 Caller My question about the herpes is, the fact that she brought it up, would it... I mean, it sounds like because the breakup was kind of nasty, and she still harbors feelings, she still gets jealous because I'm dating now, and I don't know, what I suspect is that she's doing it just so that, you know, it's just a reason that I pretty much would have to stay with her.

1:13:27🔗 Adam I see.

1:13:28🔗 Caller Because, you know, it's not something that's curable.

1:13:30🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. Hey, William, let me tell you something. Your compass is off in life, okay? And it's probably because of what happened, and I know you got some therapy for it, and we're all sitting here listening to you, and we're telling you it's time to get a little more.

1:13:49🔗 Caller Okay.

1:13:49🔗 Drew The herpes thing is not a big issue. You don't have it, I'm sure, and if you do, you don't have to get back together with her.

1:13:56🔗 Adam Nor would you have to not ever see anyone else, because 5% of the population has herpes.

1:14:01🔗 Drew Happens all the time, so.

1:14:02🔗 Guttermouth At least.

1:14:02🔗 Adam At least, maybe more. I use bigger numbers, Adam goes, oh, I'm out. No way.

1:14:07🔗 Guttermouth Can you get it from a toilet seat or a doorknob?

1:14:09🔗 Drew No.

1:14:10🔗 Guttermouth Okay.

1:14:10🔗 Drew Unless you hump the bejesus out of the doorknob.

1:14:13🔗 Adam No, even then.

1:14:14🔗 Drew William?

1:14:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:14:15🔗 Drew But the emotional thing, that's something that's going to stick around.

1:14:18🔗 Adam We all hear that.

1:14:19🔗 Drew Okay.

1:14:19🔗 Adam You hear that piece.

1:14:20🔗 Drew All right, so take care of yourself, all right?

1:14:22🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:14:22🔗 Drew All right. All right.

1:14:24🔗 Caller And he would, it sounds like entrapment, girls trying to trap, not girls in general, but it sounds like that.

1:14:29🔗 Drew Well, think about the kind of gal that would really want to get her claws in old Willie over here, you know? I mean, she probably had some issues. And William sounds like one of these guys who's a high IQ guy who got screwed with, he got his antenna bent early in life. And now you have this high IQ and this ability and this intellect. The problem is his receiver screwed up and he's going through life. He's going to go through life this way. And it's going to be from one medical problem to the next. He's got to get straightened out emotionally and magically, the medical side will go away, too.

1:15:07🔗 Caller And the only way to do that is through therapy.

1:15:09🔗 Drew I've, when you've been, I don't necessarily say that, but when you've been really traumatized like William has, That's serious. You're going to have to go through this.

1:15:19🔗 Guttermouth For the herpes, give him a placebo and he'll be fine.

1:15:22🔗 Caller That's right. That's a walk in the park.

1:15:24🔗 Guttermouth You'll be all right.

1:15:25🔗 Drew Yeah, you know what? He'll get rid of that herpes. A little gold bond and a baby wipe.

1:15:29🔗 Guttermouth Good.

1:15:29🔗 Drew And the life hammer. If you really get a bad breakout, you take that hammer and life resort.

1:15:34🔗 Guttermouth Always the hammer.

1:15:35🔗 Drew All right. Let's hear a little something from Guttermouth. Cue it up there, Anderson. This is called That's Life. Here's a little Guttermouth off of Covered with Ants, out Tuesday. Last Tuesday, that is, so it is on the shelves as we speak. Drew, you done lamenting about your very troubled daytime life? Are you ready to get on with the business of business or whatever that bad cliche is? How's that?

1:18:54🔗 Guttermouth Disease and breakout.

1:18:55🔗 Adam Business is the business of America. Right.

1:18:59🔗 Caller We're dealing with mainly bad business here, it seems like.

1:19:03🔗 Drew A lot of screwballs calling the show tonight.

1:19:05🔗 Guttermouth Let's take some fine calls.

1:19:06🔗 Caller I thought I had it rough when I was a kid. I was out of, parents divorced at 15. I was living out of the house at 16.

1:19:14🔗 Drew Wow.

1:19:14🔗 Caller I had a vent for myself.

1:19:15🔗 Drew Home school.

1:19:17🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, but I just, I've turned out to be, to me, I'm on top of the world.

1:19:23🔗 Drew Oh yeah. It's all relative. It really is. But we could also find a lot of people are doing a hell of a lot better than you two.

1:19:30🔗 Guttermouth To be honest.

1:19:31🔗 Drew Well, we're locked up in Canadian prisons.

1:19:33🔗 Caller Check those phone lines, CB5.

1:19:35🔗 Guttermouth I've experienced this. Yeah.

1:19:37🔗 Caller I chalked that up to experience. That makes me a more colorful person.

1:19:40🔗 Drew You're well around it. You can check that off the list. Yeah. Kiana?

1:19:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:46🔗 Drew You're 20?

1:19:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:47🔗 Drew What's up?

1:19:49🔗 Caller I went to the doctor when I was pregnant with my daughter. I went to the doctor and I asked them, Is this Rosie Perez? No, this is not Rosie Perez. I went to the doctor and I asked them, you know, while I'm breastfeeding, can I still smoke? And she told me, yes, the nicotine won't get to the baby. Then I wasn't satisfied with that, so I went to another doctor and the doctor told me the same thing, but people keep coming to me telling me I shouldn't smoke. My mother actually telling me I shouldn't smoke.

1:20:20🔗 Adam There is some concern that, of course, there's always the second-hand smoke, Adam.

1:20:24🔗 Drew Well, you mean, no, you don't put the ashtray on the kid's head, right?

1:20:28🔗 Caller No, I won't smoke while I'm feeding her.

1:20:30🔗 Adam And there is concern about, growing concern about nicotine, particularly in utero, like while you're pregnant, and some concern, my understanding is, during breastfeeding, because they're finding that nicotine can substantially change the blood flow to the brain that may change the brain development. So there is increasing concern about this.

1:20:48🔗 Drew But, no papers that you've read on it, no public health scare.

1:20:53🔗 Adam The breastfeeding, per se, with the in utero, for sure, that's growing fast.

1:20:59🔗 Drew Let me ask you a nicotine-related question. Because when you smoke, you get the charge of nicotine, right?

1:21:07🔗 Adam Yep.

1:21:07🔗 Drew And the nicotine enters your blood system.

1:21:09🔗 Adam Yep.

1:21:10🔗 Drew And then the nicotine dissipates, and you want another cigarette. Is that true?

1:21:15🔗 Guttermouth And it's delicious. Yeah.

1:21:16🔗 Drew And it's delicious, Drew.

1:21:17🔗 Adam Is that true? That's true.

1:21:18🔗 Drew So if she smoked herself a cigarette, and then two hours later, breast-fed, Yeah, it's short-lived. then the nicotine levels in her body would not be high enough, I believe that's true.

1:21:29🔗 Adam to pass on to the child.

1:21:32🔗 Drew And it probably makes a difference. I mean, if you just get done smoking a cigarette in breast-feed, you're going to have nicotine, higher levels of nicotine in your blood, would you not?

1:21:41🔗 Adam Probably, but breast is sort of a stored entity for a while.

1:21:44🔗 Drew The boob. Yeah, it's like the garage of the body.

1:21:49🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, but if there was any risk, why would you take it at all?

1:21:52🔗 Caller If there's any kind of a risk, why would you even?

1:21:53🔗 Drew Well, because you smoke, that's why.

1:21:55🔗 Caller Yeah, but get over it, you know, you got a kid to take care of.

1:21:58🔗 Drew Well, all right, I'm with her, and I agree, but I'm living in the real world. Her doctor said, you know, gave you the thumbs up on that. Whenever you can get the docs to go along on the smoking, you know you got a good one, by the way. That's a keeper. You keep that doctor. All right, so why don't you give it a, I'll tell you what. Give it a couple, don't do it for a couple hours after you smoke, and then if the kid ends up and you got to hold them back a couple of grades or something, they got to easy out. You know when I'm smoked? You know what I'm saying? Okay. Good times, baby. She's thrilled to be a mother.

1:22:33🔗 Caller Thanks for getting that question.

1:22:36🔗 Drew And by the way, any time, and we've talked about this before, or you get held back in a grade or can't continue, explain that you're in Europe. You know what I'm saying? For a year. It sounds great. Like people go, wait a minute, you graduated high school at 21? And you go, oh no, no, no. When I was nine, I went to Europe for a few. And all of a sudden, you go from like retard to a super international superstar. It's like, oh, oh, oh, that must have been a great experience. See, it switches. So go for the Europe thing. Oh, my dad's German. We went back there for a year. And then when I came back, I had to retake the, you're cool. You're immediately until your friends go to Europe and discover that it's not that fantastic. Yeah. I realize you never went there. All right. We will take a break. Got our mouth is here. We'll be back after this.

1:23:29🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Crash McLarson of the Aquabats. You're listening to Loveline and we promise not to kill you. Aquabats.

1:23:40🔗 Guttermouth How is that?

1:23:41🔗 Drew It's Loveline. And who was that? I just put my headphones on.

1:23:44🔗 Adam The Aquabats.

1:23:44🔗 Drew Oh, those Aquabats. I remember that show. I don't ever. You know the thing that was weird about the Aquabats and those of you who can't remember the Aquabats and know who they are. They're like almost sort of a Christian novelty. Well, they were what maybe the Hudson brothers were to us growing up. They're like a novelty music, fun novelty music band. But what they didn't want people to know is that they were Mormon. So they came on the show and they were pretty hot about three years ago or something. They had a video out and everything. And they came on the show and they're like, we are the Aquabats. And so I'd go, right, right. And it was sort of sort of Devo meets Aquaman or something. And I say, but OK, seriously, seriously, guys, what do you think of this question? We don't know. We're the Aquabats. I'd be like, OK, that's cool. All right. All right. So we'd get like to the first half hour of the show. And I'm like, where are you guys from? Where are you from? Aquania? It's like, OK, now we're an hour and a half into the show. And I'm like, all right, I get it. You assholes and Aquabats. Jesus Christ. From Utah. They were like, they were caught in between the Aquabat persona and the bizarre religious cult that they're in and had trouble like forming good answers for the show. Was it?

1:25:16🔗 Caller Was it? Was it all the food and putting it in their silo?

1:25:19🔗 Drew No, for for the armageddon for the second coming arm again.

1:25:25🔗 Guttermouth We supply months, but we I don't know.

1:25:27🔗 Drew I always love that. I would love to interview all the guys as they made their way back down from the mountain to beg for their jobs back.

1:25:34🔗 Caller I'd like that.

1:25:35🔗 Drew You know what I mean? Yeah. Remember when I told you to blow me two months ago, Alvairne? Yeah. Over at the feed store. I need my gig back. It turns out we're full eight months away from the Armageddon and I got to make ends meet until then.

1:25:50🔗 Caller You got to keep non-perishables for Armageddon.

1:25:52🔗 Guttermouth I bet all my chickens on the last Armageddon. It didn't happen.

1:25:59🔗 Drew Yeah. I'm all right with the concept of Armageddon. It's really just the prediction that bothers me.

1:26:05🔗 Caller Sounds like a great movie.

1:26:07🔗 Guttermouth It's going to be way too late when somebody gets it right. Yeah.

1:26:10🔗 Drew I figure when it hits it'll be early. I'm figuring on being in bed. It's like a good earth quake.

1:26:16🔗 Guttermouth Yeah, exactly.

1:26:17🔗 Drew Hot weather.

1:26:19🔗 Guttermouth Sort of a dark red sky.

1:26:20🔗 Caller You'll think it's a false alarm though, Adam. You want to get up for the Armageddon.

1:26:23🔗 Drew Yeah, unless I'm higher than the third floor. I ain't moving for the Armageddon.

1:26:27🔗 Guttermouth Well, hopefully you'll have your life hammer.

1:26:29🔗 Drew Life hammer.

1:26:31🔗 Caller I wonder if they have those Armageddon drills in certain parts of our nation.

1:26:37🔗 Adam Armageddon survival kits.

1:26:38🔗 Drew Hillary, you're 19. What's up?

1:26:41🔗 Caller Yeah, well, first of all, I love you and Drew both very much.

1:26:46🔗 Adam And the other guy.

1:26:47🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:26:48🔗 Caller Thank you very much because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known about Plan B.

1:26:51🔗 Adam Great.

1:26:53🔗 Caller And really, really quickly, I'm getting depot on the sixth on Monday. And most of my life, I've been quite the menstrual overachiever and I've heard a lot of girls don't bleed and some really do. Is there anything that-

1:27:05🔗 Adam Usually the first three months you bleed the whole time. And then-

1:27:08🔗 Caller Like, body or like, bleeding?

1:27:09🔗 Adam Sometimes pretty heavy bleeding. And the next cycle, you stop. You have no periods.

1:27:15🔗 Caller Right on.

1:27:15🔗 Drew Well, I'm reading your question. It says you're bisexual.

1:27:18🔗 Caller Um, sort of. I identify as lesbian, but occasionally boys strike my fancy. Right now I'm dating a boy and he's awesome. He lives up in Northern Washington.

1:27:27🔗 Drew I see. He identifies as a lesbian.

1:27:29🔗 Caller Yeah. I-

1:27:30🔗 Drew I like that. That's kind of cool code. How old are you? Clarity, yeah.

1:27:33🔗 Guttermouth Yeah.

1:27:34🔗 Caller Well, it's like the whole bi thing. So trendy.

1:27:36🔗 Guttermouth But it's very late nineties.

1:27:38🔗 Drew Yeah, you're no bisexual.

1:27:39🔗 Adam That's why it's so Monday.

1:27:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:41🔗 Caller She's-

1:27:42🔗 Drew Hillary Snow, she's no bisexual. She's a full-blown lesbian with a boyfriend.

1:27:47🔗 Adam With a twist.

1:27:48🔗 Caller With a twist. He tends to prefer boys, so you know.

1:27:51🔗 Drew Oh, hey. Does your dad, he's not hip to you being identifying as a lesbian?

1:27:57🔗 Caller He doesn't know.

1:27:58🔗 Drew I see.

1:27:59🔗 Caller Right.

1:27:59🔗 Caller And he knows I have my boyfriend and everything, but he's like really, really homophobic. And I think he knows. You know, I think he's kind of on to my whole gig.

1:28:08🔗 Caller Why?

1:28:08🔗 Caller Well, just like, stuff he says and stuff like, he'll make homophobic comments, like, you know, like in a whole attitude, like I should be agreeing with him or something.

1:28:18🔗 Adam Where does your mom come down on this?

1:28:20🔗 Caller Oh, it gets better. My parents divorced a few years back and my mom started dating women after that.

1:28:25🔗 Drew Oh, interesting. You went together.

1:28:27🔗 Guttermouth Yep. Keep it in the family.

1:28:30🔗 Drew See what happens, Dad?

1:28:32🔗 Caller All right. Like, the other night, we were talking at dinner and he was saying something about it and he's like, well, I think they're an abomination, don't you? Like, you better agree.

1:28:41🔗 Adam What is your question for us?

1:28:43🔗 Caller Well, I'm just wondering. I came back home.

1:28:44🔗 Caller I've been living on my own for the last year and a half and I came back home to go to school because I want to go to school really bad. I got laid off from my job down in Oakland.

1:28:52🔗 Adam And the question is?

1:28:53🔗 Caller I really, really want to go to school, but I don't know how to deal with him doing this and I can't live with my mom. She's in Central Oregon.

1:29:02🔗 Adam You can't live on campus?

1:29:04🔗 Drew Working as a call school.

1:29:05🔗 Caller The deal my parents made with me.

1:29:07🔗 Guttermouth Walk to Texas.

1:29:10🔗 Caller I'll pay for school for the first two years.

1:29:12🔗 Caller I'll pay for school if I go to community college for two years first. And so I can't go to a real school until I get there.

1:29:16🔗 Drew They're geniuses. What is it? Six bucks a unit? Yeah, we can handle that.

1:29:22🔗 Adam But you couldn't get a job.

1:29:23🔗 Drew 80 bucks a year, sure.

1:29:24🔗 Caller Yeah, but I'm carrying 15 credits right now and I can't work enough time off.

1:29:28🔗 Drew All right. Hey, Hillary, wait a minute. Live with your dad. Just go along with this crap about the lesbian stuff for now. You got a boyfriend, so he's not going to know the difference and everything's cool. And then you slap him with the lesbian thing when you get out of the house.

1:29:43🔗 Guttermouth Keep your boyfriend's boyfriend away from dad.

1:29:46🔗 Drew Right. That's going to be a thing.

1:29:49🔗 Caller Simple difference of opinion. Not that big a deal.

1:29:51🔗 Drew That's it. There's going to be a great Thanksgiving over there. Easter. I hope you're 14.

1:29:59🔗 Caller Oh my god, Adam, you were like a freaking god to me. Thank you. You were like so hot.

1:30:04🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:30:04🔗 Caller And I met you at an Aquabats concert. It was like a K-Rock finding day.

1:30:08🔗 Drew Oh my god, where is that?

1:30:09🔗 Caller I was like 12 and you guys told me to go away.

1:30:12🔗 Guttermouth Sound of Monica.

1:30:13🔗 Drew Sounds about right. I don't remember being at an Aquabats concert. You were? You're talking about like the Weenie Rose?

1:30:18🔗 Guttermouth An Aquabats.

1:30:19🔗 Caller It was a K-Rock finding at a Blockbusters music in Santa Monica.

1:30:22🔗 Adam I think they were at a calendar signing.

1:30:26🔗 Caller It was raining out, right Hope?

1:30:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:28🔗 Drew Yes, it was.

1:30:30🔗 Caller I told you and Dr. Drew that I listen to the show and you guys like rule and you're like well we don't like little kids so go away.

1:30:37🔗 Adam I did not say that.

1:30:39🔗 Guttermouth Well, they're always right.

1:30:41🔗 Caller I was like all sad the rest of the day. I was like oh my god.

1:30:44🔗 Caller You know what Hope, if I had my way I'd hang up on you right now because we don't like little kids.

1:30:49🔗 Caller But I just want to say to Guttermouth, you guys rock and I'm going to your concert on 420 for the record release.

1:30:54🔗 Caller 420?

1:30:55🔗 Guttermouth You know what that day is?

1:30:56🔗 Caller I know that's like my favorite day.

1:30:58🔗 Guttermouth Why is that? I thought it was Hitler's birthday. That's what they told me.

1:31:03🔗 Caller Really?

1:31:03🔗 Drew Yeah, it is. Big Hitler fan?

1:31:05🔗 Guttermouth No, no, not at all. Columbine. That's how I associated it with Hitler's birthday.

1:31:10🔗 Drew All right. Hey Hope?

1:31:11🔗 Adam It was all Hitler's birthday.

1:31:12🔗 Guttermouth I think so.

1:31:12🔗 Drew Okay, come on. We don't got time for you now.

1:31:15🔗 Guttermouth We'll see you there. Thanks for calling. Hey, we'll be there.

1:31:17🔗 Caller I just want to say that you guys rock, right?

1:31:19🔗 Guttermouth Cool. Thank you.

1:31:20🔗 Drew You rock too, Hope.

1:31:20🔗 Guttermouth Thank you.

1:31:21🔗 Caller I love you, Adam.

1:31:22🔗 Drew I love you, Hope.

1:31:22🔗 Caller All right, bye.

1:31:23🔗 Drew Take care. Drew, we didn't tell her to get lost.

1:31:26🔗 Adam No.

1:31:26🔗 Drew We don't like little kids.

1:31:27🔗 Adam No, that's not us.

1:31:28🔗 Drew I mean, it's kind of me, but not you at all.

1:31:31🔗 Adam Even you are not that ridiculous.

1:31:33🔗 Caller Get the hell away from me, Hope.

1:31:35🔗 Drew Thank you. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

1:31:40🔗 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:31:44🔗 Drew Yep. Well, there you go. Another fantabulous week of Love Line.

1:31:50🔗 Guttermouth Exciting as the last?

1:31:54🔗 Drew No different. As each. The same. I want to thank Mark, Jamie, and Derek for coming out here all from Guttermouth. Covered with ants. Name of the CD. Go out and get that. It is out in the stores now. Guys, good luck on the Warped Tour and all the other dates. It was a pleasure meeting you. You guys had a good time with you cats tonight.

1:32:16🔗 Caller I think we helped a lot of people tonight.

1:32:18🔗 Drew I think we did.

1:32:19🔗 Guttermouth Yes.

1:32:19🔗 Caller It feels good for once.

1:32:20🔗 Guttermouth Let's take 50 more calls while we're waiting.

1:32:26🔗 Drew Let's do it hypothetically while we're in our cars.

1:32:28🔗 Adam We'll do it on Easter.

1:32:29🔗 Caller You're all guilty.

1:32:30🔗 Drew All right. Yes. We will be here on Easter. God damn it. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:38🔗 Caller Oh, my testicles got ants on it.

1:32:41🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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