Tuesday, January 9, 2001

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:14🔗 Adam 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Bruce is a board-certified physician, an internist, an emergency medicine specialist, and an addiction medicine specialist, and removes pants from gang members. He's well qualified.

1:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Can I say hi to the guys at CYA?

1:38🔗 Sure.

1:39🔗 Dr. Bruce Hi, guys at CYA.

1:40🔗 Adam California Youth Authority.

1:41🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:42🔗 Adam These guys are locked up?

1:43🔗 Dr. Bruce I got a list. Well, they're rehabilitating.

1:47🔗 Adam They can't go home if they want.

1:49🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

1:49🔗 Adam Okay. But they all like you.

1:51🔗 Dr. Bruce They listen to you.

1:52🔗 Adam I like criminals too.

1:53🔗 Dr. Bruce It's Adam Corolla they listen to, not Dr. Drew. Why? Because they're rehabilitating.

1:58🔗 Adam Now, when you remove their tats, do you remove that teardrop tat oftentimes? Yeah. That teardrop that stands for being in prison?

2:06🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm not sure what. Even after the hundreds I've removed, I'm not sure exactly what it stands for.

2:11🔗 Adam Is that the most popular tat you remove?

2:13🔗 Dr. Bruce Three dots.

2:15🔗 Adam Where are the three dots?

2:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Frequently on the wrist or the side of the wrist.

2:20🔗 Adam What are the three dots signify?

2:23🔗 Dr. Bruce My crazy life. I don't know. Well, now that I've given the wrong answer, someone will call in and tell me what it is.

2:27🔗 Adam You don't know? You don't ask the guys?

2:29🔗 Dr. Bruce You know, I've asked and it's like, don't...

2:32🔗 Adam What is the most popular one? Isn't it that cross that's by the... between the forefinger and thumb?

2:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Cross 13, this 18th Street. I just see a lot of 18th Street guys.

2:44🔗 Adam A lot of gang guys?

2:45🔗 Dr. Bruce A lot of gang guys.

2:46🔗 Adam All right. Well, it's the Lord's work that you're doing.

2:48🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, they get jobs easier that way. If it says FDLAPD on your forehead in Tattoo Inc.

2:53🔗 Adam It's hard to get a gig, hard to get it admitted in the police academy. Priscilla?

2:58🔗 Yeah?

2:58🔗 Adam You're 20?

2:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:00🔗 Adam What's up?

3:02🔗 Caller Well, when I was five years old, it was like right around there. I was on a T-ball team and I like I was sitting on a bat. It was like the thing that people did, you know, and like it slipped and it like cut me like down there and I had to like go to the doctor and everything.

3:19🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

3:20🔗 Yeah.

3:22🔗 Adam And you were sitting on a bat?

3:24🔗 Yeah.

3:25🔗 Adam Right.

3:26🔗 Caller And like and it like cut me somehow. I still don't know how.

3:29🔗 Adam I tried sitting on a pool stick once and it's still in me. Yeah. It just broke it off. All right. So you're sitting on a bat, which didn't say it doesn't sound like the greatest place to sit, but you slip and it cuts you in the vaginal area at five years old.

3:45🔗 Caller Right. And like and I like blood for, you know, like a few days or whatever. And they didn't put any stitches or anything down there. They just said, you know, like, let it heal. I really remember that much of it. And so but now I can't like, like have an orgasm. So I was wondering if that was related to it or not.

4:05🔗 Dr. Bruce It's probably not related at all. That you can't pleasure yourself or is it during intercourse, you can't have an orgasm?

4:11🔗 Caller No.

4:12🔗 Adam You have a boyfriend?

4:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:14🔗 Adam And you've had sex with a few guys?

4:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:18🔗 Adam How about oral sex?

4:19🔗 Caller Yep.

4:20🔗 Adam And that doesn't work either?

4:22🔗 Caller No.

4:23🔗 Adam All because of the Louisville vibrator you got back.

4:26🔗 Caller No, I was five. I mean, no, I, I just don't know.

4:31🔗 Adam Okay, here's the deal. And I think Bruce agrees with this. There's probably no connection.

4:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Right.

4:36🔗 Adam There's plenty of 20-year-old girls who can't have an orgasm. And you're one of them.

4:40🔗 Caller Right.

4:40🔗 Adam And it wasn't because they got a bat put up them.

4:43🔗 Caller Right.

4:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Minor trauma at that age is not related to not having an orgasm. That's your point. But there are other questions we could...

4:50🔗 Adam No, you just stick with the same guy. Make sure you got a much better chance of getting one through oral sex. So that's the place to look.

4:58🔗 Caller I've tried that. I mean, I've tried everything.

5:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, if you get the right guy and he hangs out there long enough, something may happen.

5:06🔗 Caller Yeah. I hope so.

5:08🔗 Adam You ever try doing something for yourself?

5:10🔗 Caller Yeah. Doesn't work either.

5:12🔗 Adam Doesn't work either?

5:13🔗 Caller No.

5:13🔗 Adam How about the bathtub?

5:15🔗 The bathtub. I've tried the bathtub.

5:17🔗 Adam You did?

5:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:18🔗 Adam With the water on?

5:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:19🔗 Adam I see.

5:22🔗 Dr. Bruce We can get into, are there any other issues in terms of intimacy?

5:26🔗 Caller No. No. I mean, I'm happy.

5:29🔗 Adam All right. All right. Well, listen. Here's the deal. Here's the sad truth. Stop me if you think I'm wrong here, Bruce. But just do it with one word. Don't ramble on. There's a certain percentage of women at age 20 who just cannot have an orgasm.

5:46🔗 Dr. Bruce Right.

5:47🔗 Adam I would agree. At age 20, the percentage of women who cannot have an orgasm through any circumstances, I would say, would be 20 percent, maybe 15 or 20 percent, something like that. Now at age 30, that number probably drops down to about 5 percent. Would you agree with that? So time is on your side. You'll eventually work it out. Call us back in 10 years. I'm sure Bruce will still be here. And if it's not, if you can't have the orgasm then, it's time to look into it. Until then, just find one guy, stick with him and see if you guys can't work it out. Andy?

6:22🔗 Yeah.

6:22🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

6:24🔗 Caller Yeah. I've like never had a girlfriend before. And I've kind of lately, ever since I went to college, been a little more into my right hand than I should. Or at least so I think. And like I'm wondering like if that's having like, if that's like a result of not having a girlfriend or if it's like affecting my ability to associate with women or yeah, it's basically, I mean.

6:49🔗 Adam How long have you been dating your right hand?

6:53🔗 Caller Well if we want to go back to way back to first contact, it's probably when I was like 13 or 14.

6:59🔗 Adam So you met your right hand when you were 13 or 14.

7:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:02🔗 Adam You immediately begin dating or were you just friends for a while?

7:05🔗 Caller It was just kind of off and on until I went to college and then now it's like I live like in an apartment now and I have like a roommate but he lives in town and he's always gone so I basically have a lot of time to myself.

7:17🔗 Adam Yeah that's what happened with me and my right hand. I remember meeting my right hand about the eighth grade and we didn't hit it off. There was no initial attraction but we did pass each other in the hole and we hung out a little and we had some mutual friends like the left hand and my testicles and we all used to hang out together, smoke pot, and drink some Boone's Farm wild berry wine in the park and one night my right hand and my penis just got together and it was magic. It was a few years after we originally met but they've been together ever since. Going strong.

7:51🔗 Dr. Bruce It's a lovely story.

7:52🔗 Adam They recently celebrated their 20th anniversary. I don't know if you know that.

7:56🔗 Dr. Bruce I didn't see the pictures.

7:57🔗 Adam You're at my house. You saw the picture of my right hand up on the mantelpiece, didn't you?

8:01🔗 Dr. Bruce No. I must have missed that. Now, Andy, how many times a day are we talking?

8:07🔗 Caller Like minimum one, like no less. Like maximum probably seven or eight.

8:13🔗 Dr. Bruce Seven or eight. Well, one's one thing, seven or eight's another. Masturbation can be part of an obsessive sexual practice.

8:23🔗 Adam How dare you?

8:25🔗 Dr. Bruce The way a lot of things like this go, if they do interfere with what would be a normal relationship or your drive for such and you prefer the company of your hand as Adam would, then you might need to look into this and see somebody. I think seven or eight times a day, you're not having a normal relationship. What's going on here?

8:47🔗 Adam Andy, Andy, listen to me, brother. Your sperm is your motivation in life. Look at that as the engine in the fuel tank of your car. Without it, the car is just parked in the driveway. It's not going anywhere. It is the fuel that gets you down the street to the market and into life. You understand?

9:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

9:06🔗 Adam And that sperm is in the sac, the fuel tank of your body motivates you. And you need to build up a little once in a while.

9:14🔗 Dr. Bruce And thank God there's no more flexibility in your back or you'd never leave the house.

9:17🔗 Adam That's right. You almost didn't leave my house. Bruce came over tonight, everybody. We ate and it was this close to a hand job. But here's... Oh, don't play stupid now. Listen, Andy, don't whack off for, I was going to say a week and then I pictured myself not doing it for a week and realized I wouldn't want to.

9:35🔗 Dr. Bruce No one would live with you.

9:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Do it for two or three days and see if it doesn't give you a little more sexual energy. And then go out and try to get some chick drunk.

9:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh.

9:44🔗 Adam All right, buddy.

9:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Horrible advice.

9:45🔗 Adam Listen, there's nothing wrong with you. Just ask women out. Start at the bottom and work your way up.

9:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Anything like that can become obsessive.

9:53🔗 Adam That's right.

9:54🔗 Dr. Bruce If you're learning, if you're teaching your brain, you're stimulating your mesolimic dopamine system, you're getting the old dopamine level up through self-stimulation, it could become a problem. And this guy, it sounds like he's subverting his normal drive through masturbation.

10:09🔗 Adam Fine. So lay off.

10:10🔗 Dr. Bruce You don't want to know about his relationship with his mother or father.

10:12🔗 Adam Amy? No.

10:13🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes.

10:14🔗 Adam You're 25.

10:14🔗 Dr. Bruce I think you're bypassing my calls. My choice is...

10:17🔗 Dr. Bruce I want to talk to a chick.

10:18🔗 Adam What's up there, Amy?

10:21🔗 I've been really, I think, probably depressed lately. About two weeks ago, this old bitty, this nurse that I work with said that she saw me test driving a PT Cruiser on company time, which wasn't true. I got it cleared up with the boss man and everything, but for about a week, I haven't been able to get out of bed before one. It's all I can think about. I burst into tears frequently.

10:47🔗 Adam Well, what's all you can think about?

10:50🔗 All I can think about is that people at work must think I'm, sorry, a dishonest person or something. I'm a psych nurse and all of a sudden I'm thinking about it.

11:02🔗 Adam Yeah, listen, nobody at work really cares about you. You've got to look at it that way.

11:08🔗 I guess I'm realizing it. It's bursting my idealistic bubble.

11:11🔗 Adam Psych nurse. What a miserable, miserable job that must be.

11:15🔗 It's so much fun, Adam, but now I'm thinking like maybe I need an antidepressant. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

11:21🔗 Adam Well, you got the keys to the medicine cabinet, don't you?

11:24🔗 Dr. Bruce It sounds like fun. Where was she when I was working on this boring psych nurse?

11:27🔗 Adam Listen, just go grab a handful of something and see what works for you. If white ones don't work, the blue ones or the green ones might work.

11:35🔗 Dr. Bruce You don't sound like you have a real flat affect to me.

11:37🔗 Adam No, you sound much less depressed than a lot of people who claim not to be depressed who call this show.

11:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. There's endogenous depression and there's situational depression. It sounds pretty situational in which case...

11:49🔗 Adam Hold on. It's endogenous? The same as indigenous?

11:51🔗 Dr. Bruce No. You're an indigenous native to the armpit of the world.

11:55🔗 Adam San Fernando Valley. Yes, the armpit of the world.

11:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Exactly.

11:58🔗 Adam And endogenous means that it's always with you.

12:02🔗 Dr. Bruce It's idiopathic. It comes from with... It doesn't have a specific cause.

12:06🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Oh, God. Is that what it means?

12:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Are you going to get a medical quiz?

12:10🔗 Adam No, here's what it means. Here's what it sounds like though. The reason these two words, indigenous and endogenous, are so close is indigenous means these are people who are always here. Original people. You know what I mean? Like the Aborigines are indigenous people to the outback of Australia. Right?

12:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Are you a philologist on the side?

12:31🔗 Adam Well, listen, but endogenous means that this is a depression that's always been with you.

12:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Or it's from, yeah, always or originating.

12:42🔗 Adam Well, maybe it's the same word. It's just being pronounced differently.

12:44🔗 Dr. Bruce No, no, no, it's not the same word.

12:45🔗 Adam You sure?

12:46🔗 Dr. Bruce One's a doctor word, one's a sociologist.

12:48🔗 Adam Yeah, but doctor words like to take words that everyone else use, mispronounce them a little bit so they can pay more money.

12:54🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh yeah, that's absolutely true.

12:56🔗 Adam Look up endogenous. Amy?

12:59🔗 Yeah, do you have any advice for me?

13:01🔗 Adam Yeah, well first off, screw that old bag at work.

13:04🔗 Yeah.

13:04🔗 Adam I smell a little mercy killing coming on.

13:07🔗 Yeah.

13:08🔗 Adam And listen, what do you, how overweight are you?

13:12🔗 Oh God.

13:13🔗 Adam Come on, baby.

13:14🔗 Only 15 pounds. Yeah.

13:17🔗 Adam All right, what about losing that 15? You need a nice man. You need a, you're one good humping away from a good day. You got a man?

13:26🔗 Well, no, no, no.

13:28🔗 Adam You go home, you make some top rum and you open the Reader's Digest and you play with your cat mittens, right?

13:35🔗 I have no cats. That's pitiful.

13:37🔗 Adam What did you do? Roll over and kill one while you're sleeping?

13:40🔗 No, I have a social life. It's not that bad. All right.

13:44🔗 Adam You do?

13:45🔗 Dr. Bruce Look, along with, along with the mild depression, you'll lose your appetite for a while.

13:48🔗 Adam And let me tell you something about that 15 pounds. That's 25 pounds. You're being way too, you're being way too kind to yourself. And let me just say this. And I don't want to be cruel, but guys are cruel. So I might as well, I might as well tell the truth here. Yeah. There's many beautiful women with beautiful personalities. They got a lot going for them. And they're perpetual 25, 30 pounds overweight. And they've done it their whole life. And it takes them right out of the dating game. They get a little dates, but not with the guys they want. You could drop that 15 or 20 pounds. It wouldn't be any big deal. And then date all the hot guys.

14:22🔗 You're inspiring me.

14:23🔗 Adam All right, so just do it.

14:25🔗 Okay.

14:26🔗 Adam All right, stop eating so many carbohydrates and eat a little more protein, get a little exercise. You'll immediately feel better. Ride your mountain bike. Start taking walks. Listen to classical music and take long walks. You'll feel better. And stop worrying about old people at work. You're fine. Let's keep rolling. You feeling good? Dave? Yeah. All right, I'm going to look up. Bruce, look up endogenous. You better pray you're right, college boy. You better pray. Yes.

14:53🔗 Yeah, I had to kind of make it my question.

14:55🔗 Adam You did what?

14:56🔗 Caller I want to talk to you about Taboo 2.

14:57🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Go ahead.

14:59🔗 Caller Just got the movie.

15:00🔗 Adam David 17, yes. Taboo 2.

15:01🔗 The worst movie I've ever made.

15:03🔗 Adam Yes. Yes, he does. You remember this part?

15:06🔗 Oh, yeah.

15:07🔗 Adam Yeah. I do.

15:08🔗 I want to explain the guitar.

15:09🔗 Those have a place in every detail.

15:15🔗 Adam You know, the theme's singing.

15:22🔗 And do it with style. He does it with me. Oh, yes, he does.

15:28🔗 Adam Boy, you're doing a lot of jacking off.

15:30🔗 Caller I know that you thought that you knew it.

15:34🔗 Adam Bruce, jump in. Come on, buddy.

15:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Don't know the words.

15:36🔗 Adam Here's a good part. Maybe he did.

15:39🔗 Caller Come on, Doc.

15:39🔗 Adam But you don't.

15:42🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm listening to these spazzes sing and I'm reading a dictionary.

15:44🔗 Caller Is this Loveline or? He only reveals what he wants you to see and then shows it all. And when he does, he satisfies me.

15:56🔗 Adam All right, turn that off. I'd like to see Taboo 2, the musical.

16:01🔗 Dr. Bruce What is Taboo 2? It's got to be a porn movie of some sort.

16:04🔗 Adam Taboo 2 is one of the best porn movies ever made.

16:06🔗 Dr. Bruce With this music in it?

16:07🔗 Adam Dave.

16:08🔗 Dr. Bruce The best movie ever made.

16:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Where did you get hold of this?

16:10🔗 I got it on the Internet. They sell the whole series. There's like 15 of them.

16:16🔗 Adam I know, but 2 is my favorite.

16:20🔗 Have you ever seen That 70s Show?

16:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:22🔗 The sister on that looks just the same as the sister on The 70s Show.

16:26🔗 Adam Yeah, she does. She does look a little like her. I can't remember her name. I'm going to study that film tonight. Like this is a brooder film, I study that thing back and forth.

16:36🔗 You and your right hand. You want more music on it.

16:38🔗 Adam Yeah, I love that Bambi. And what about Junior? He's a good guy. What a gentleman, banging his mom and his sister.

16:44🔗 Who's Ron Jeremy in that movie? My friends are trying to figure that out.

16:47🔗 Adam What's that?

16:47🔗 Who's Ron Jeremy?

16:50🔗 Dr. Bruce What's his part?

16:50🔗 Is he the one with the blue cherry chest?

16:53🔗 Adam Ron Jeremy is Orgy Goer number 14. He doesn't really have a part in that. He just kind of walks on and has sex with everybody.

17:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Is this one of his first movies?

17:03🔗 Adam That's during the Orgy. It's earlier in his career. It was probably pretty early in his career. It's probably only his 250th porn movie.

17:10🔗 Dr. Bruce He's a remarkable intellect. I, of course, met him filling in for Dr. Loveline.

17:15🔗 Adam He's a gentleman and a scholar. Dave, are you saying you didn't recognize Ron Jeremy? No. Okay. Ron Jeremy, you know the Orgy scene about three-quarters of the way through the thing? I want to be going and coming with you, baby. You scared me.

17:36🔗 Dr. Bruce You know this movie that well.

17:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I know all the words. He is the fat, hairy Jewish guy with the big penis. He's doing those two chicks from behind. You know that?

17:46🔗 I'm trying to figure out who's the one. The hair goes like three-quarters of the way up his penis.

17:50🔗 Adam Yeah, he does this one girl from behind, and then he switches over and does this other one for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's him. Hi, buddy.

17:58🔗 Thanks a lot.

17:59🔗 Adam Thanks for calling. All right. I'm glad I could clear that up. There's a lot of 17-year-olds who can't spot Ron Jeremy's old work.

18:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Your knowledge of pornography is frightening.

18:09🔗 Adam Second to none. Did you find endogenous yet?

18:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I'm looking for indigenous.

18:13🔗 Adam All right.

18:13🔗 Dr. Bruce I was correct, of course.

18:15🔗 Adam Wendy, you're 19. What's up?

18:17🔗 Caller I've got TMJ syndrome, and because of that, I can't keep my mouth open very wide for very long.

18:24🔗 Adam Right.

18:24🔗 Caller And when I'm trying to go down on a guy, I can't complete it.

18:28🔗 Adam I see.

18:28🔗 Caller And I'm just wondering if I could get advice on how to make it last longer, or how to do it faster or better. I don't know.

18:35🔗 Adam Interesting. God bless you for asking. How's your ear?

18:41🔗 Caller It's fine.

18:41🔗 Adam Would that work? No. What about this TMJ, Bruce?

18:47🔗 Dr. Bruce TMJ is a very diverse disorder. It ranges from something that's very real and serious to something that's quite psychosomatic.

18:59🔗 Adam I see.

18:59🔗 Dr. Bruce So have you been to a good oral surgeon? Have you had a CT scan or a study of your TMJ? Or is this something you went to the GP and he said you got TMJ?

19:10🔗 Caller When I was 13, I got braces and my dentist told me and he referred me to some specialist. And I went there and they didn't do anything more. They just told me that I had it and if it got too bad to come back.

19:21🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, if you open your mouth past a certain point, it locks open?

19:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay, how do you get it? I mean, if you really have that, you end up in the emergency room trying to get it unlocked. How many times does that happen?

19:35🔗 Adam What's wrong with it staying open for the BJ?

19:38🔗 Caller It's just like it passed a couple of minutes, it just starts really hurting and I could tell it's cramping up.

19:43🔗 Adam Right.

19:44🔗 Caller And so I have to stop or else it will cramp up and I can't get it closed again.

19:48🔗 Adam My strategy with you would be to get going on my own, get about, you know, seven-eighths of the way there and then have you just hop on for the last, last, you know, the home stretch. You know what I'm saying?

19:59🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I've done it like that. I just, it kind of sucks.

20:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you take Motrin or Muscle Relaxant? Do you have anything like that?

20:05🔗 Caller No.

20:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, Motrin's over the counter, of course. So you could try taking your, as long as you're not allergic or...

20:12🔗 Adam So she could take a few Motrin before she prostituted herself out to some drunken sailor?

20:19🔗 Dr. Bruce TMJ is just a really difficult to pin down disorder and the treatment's notoriously ineffective, many of them.

20:25🔗 Adam Well, whether they give you a mouthpiece or something like that.

20:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, the trivarious things like that. The oral surgeons will frequently recommend surgery if they can pinpoint...

20:35🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't want to do that.

20:36🔗 Adam Yeah, I got a little of that myself, actually. I do. I mean, jaw clicks all the time. Always pops. Wendy, why don't you go back to the specialists and see what they have to say.

20:47🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, now that you threw out a lesson in your bone structure, you're done growing, get examined and see if they want to do any studies of that area and tell them what your symptoms are. Well, many times you end up.

21:00🔗 Adam You tell them the symptoms, you go, listen, 97 out of the last 110 guys that tried to blow in the last six month period, my jaw stuck open and that's an alarmingly high percentage.

21:12🔗 Dr. Bruce Their jaw will drop open and they will not know what they're doing.

21:15🔗 Adam All right, go talk to the specialists, tell them it's still doing it and go for that motrin. Say, take what, two motrin, what, an hour?

21:21🔗 Dr. Bruce You can take four, you take 800 milligrams.

21:23🔗 Adam Take four?

21:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

21:24🔗 Adam How long before? The hour before. Hour? Hey, Bruce, thanks. What about that with stuff like that? How long should you, how long does it take something like that to get into full effect in your body?

21:36🔗 Dr. Bruce An hour or so for...

21:37🔗 Adam About an hour or so? It depends.

21:39🔗 Dr. Bruce Something like the Amy Tylenol.

21:40🔗 Adam Empty or full or whatever. Yeah, I mean, if you want the full effect of a motrin, a Tylenol, or something like that, and you want to be able to sort of time it for when it's going to be at its peak, what would you say?

21:55🔗 Dr. Bruce You look at the dosage schedule for drugs, and if it's a drug that lasts 12 hours, a drug that lasts, something that lasts four hours, you'd figure that it's, you know, your peak levels would be at two hours and a half. Two hours, yeah.

22:07🔗 Adam Oh, I see. So if it's six, if it's six hours, the peak might, I mean, if it's 12 hours, the peak might be about six hours.

22:14🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, depending on many pharmacologic variables, which I probably forgotten long ago.

22:18🔗 Adam Right. All right. Well, we will take ourselves a little break when we come back. Do you want to speak to Jay?

22:26🔗 Dr. Bruce He gets violent when somebody breaks up with him.

22:28🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't like that. What about Lisa over here?

22:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, Lisa.

22:32🔗 Adam Had experience with another girl with boyfriend who touched the other girl.

22:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh.

22:37🔗 Adam Let me think real quick. Lisa?

22:39🔗 Yes.

22:39🔗 Adam You have a boyfriend?

22:40🔗 Well, my husband, actually.

22:42🔗 Adam Oh, your husband?

22:42🔗 Yes.

22:43🔗 Adam Well, that's good. And you had experience with another woman?

22:46🔗 Yes.

22:47🔗 Adam And your husband was supposed to do what? Just watch and whack?

22:51🔗 Yeah. Well, we were all laying semi-close to each other. And he was just supposed to lay and watch and be more involved with me.

23:01🔗 Adam And he ended up grabbing her.

23:04🔗 Yeah. He ended up reaching up. And I didn't find out till the next day that he ended up grabbing on her.

23:10🔗 Adam When she told you.

23:13🔗 Yeah. It was they both kind of.

23:15🔗 Adam I see.

23:16🔗 I kind of tricked him into telling me saying, why don't you tell me your side of the story? Yeah.

23:21🔗 Caller And hold on.

23:23🔗 Adam Hold on. This is what I love about women, by the way. I love when they come at you with I know something. They do it all the time. I spoke to Gina Kimmel. What do you know about Saturday? And you go, I don't know. What did she tell you? Forget about what she told me. Why don't you tell me what you know? You see, guys don't pull that crap. Guys just walk over, you know, smack them with a beer bottle, go home or something. You feel they are and they leave, but they don't pull that.

23:51🔗 Dr. Bruce But the secret is the woman pulls on you. You get the deer in the headlights syndrome. You finish.

23:55🔗 Adam And you know, the worst thing is, is when they make up something where they don't know anything after like a bachelor party or something, and they'll do this. Now they don't really know anything and they try to get you to cave. And this is why you never cave. Because they'll do this. You'll come back from the bachelor party and they'll go, so did you have a good time? You always do that stupid thing as a guy? Yeah, it was okay. I mean, nothing great.

24:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Guilty.

24:18🔗 Adam Yeah, because women, you know what I love about women? They get pissed when you have a good time and they're not there. They'll go, how was that weekend? Now, you could have had the time of your life, but you have to downgrade a little.

24:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Right.

24:31🔗 Adam I give it a five. You know, nothing great. It was okay. It would have been better if you were there, honey. It was just okay. You know, the usual bunch of guys sitting around drinking beer. No big deal. I was ready to get out of there. That's always the one I pull. I was ready to get out of there after about an hour. Jimmy didn't want to leave until 5.30 in the morning. I thought, what can I do? I was ready to go at eight.

24:49🔗 Dr. Bruce He was drunk and I couldn't leave.

24:51🔗 Adam I was ready to go at eight. Well, oh, oh, you're talking about the DUI? Well, you know, I had to drink. What was I going to do? Well, listen, if I didn't touch the stripper, they would have ran me out of the rail. Everyone else has did it. It's going to force me to do it. But so what chicks will do, and I know this is probably one of your moves. If Doug goes to a bachelor party and you have no idea what went on at the bachelor party, you try to give him a slip. You go, I talked to Jeannine about that's Larry's husband. Yeah, she told me everything. She did? Oh, yes. Like what? Oh, everything. Well, and then the guy starts caving. I was the one who brought the mule in. I just held it. I just held the mule. And then it's like, oh, with the mule. And then here's how this worked. Now you talk to Jeannine, and Jeannine talks to Larry. So, Doug told me about the mule. That, that, that see sucker. I'll kill him. He pro, now, now, then it starts spinning out. This is how cops do it. Yeah. Cops do it this way. They, they, good cop, bad cop. They pull the guy across. Say, yeah, we're, we're, what do you know? Uh-huh. Well, that's not what I heard. Meanwhile, half the time, they didn't hear anything. Right, Ann?

26:04🔗 Caller Well, you know what? If you would have stayed home with your woman.

26:08🔗 There wouldn't be any problem at all.

26:10🔗 Dr. Bruce I've heard that before.

26:11🔗 Adam Right. But Ann, seriously.

26:12🔗 You guys create the chaos.

26:14🔗 Adam I know. But be honest. You have pulled that on a boyfriend or a husband where you said you you you let him think that you knew much more than you really knew. Why not?

26:25🔗 Dr. Bruce I want to know what happened.

26:26🔗 Adam Right. Right. It's the equivalent. It's equivalent to like a boss saying to his employee like every every month, I know you've been stealing or or when you know your mom would walk in your room, go, I smell pot. Who's been smoking? I smell pot. Someone's been smoking pot in here. She doesn't smell anything, but she's waiting for you to just yell out when your friend's names or something or cave or do something stupid. That's why you just can't cave. You got to just stick with it. Just stay with it.

26:52🔗 Dr. Bruce It's as obvious to women as that TV commercial where the guy's out on the dock and he's been wearing the glasses and he goes, Oh, my boss doesn't know where I am. And he's got the big sun sunburn around his eyes. You ever see that?

27:02🔗 Adam No, I've never seen it.

27:03🔗 Dr. Bruce It's like the guy, the guy that goes skiing and they have the big raccoon eyes.

27:07🔗 Adam We got it, Bruce. All right, Bruce's mic off for the rest of the show.

27:11🔗 Dr. Bruce You want me to read endogenous for you?

27:12🔗 Adam No, we'll take a little break. Bruce will have his reading of the dictionary after this.

27:20🔗 Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

27:29🔗 Adam Loveline from Adam Corolla. That's the notorious lecherous Dr. Spaz over there. He knows I'm right. Shut up. I gave Ann the whole skinny on Dr. Spaz over there. You got me all wrong with phone number one eight hundred LOVE one nine one. All right. So now you looked up indigenous and endogenous and you looked up endogenous and endogenous. Indigenous means indigenous means. For my reading glasses, for Christ's sake, you never failed to disappoint.

27:59🔗 Dr. Bruce I know. It's my goal. Having originated in and being produced, growing, living or occurring naturally in a particular region or environment.

28:07🔗 Adam All right. That's indigenous.

28:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Endogenous. A. Caused by factors inside the organism or system. B. Produced or synthesized within the organism or system.

28:17🔗 Adam All right.

28:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Therefore, an endogenous depression is from within rather than from the environment.

28:23🔗 Adam All right. Very good, Dr. Bruce. Right as usual. Lisa? Still say the words are connected. You're 22. What's up? Oh, yes. You're married.

28:33🔗 Caller Yes.

28:33🔗 Adam You have any kids?

28:34🔗 Caller Yes.

28:34🔗 Adam No. How many?

28:36🔗 Caller One.

28:37🔗 Adam No. Oh, okay. I guess that's all you could have. That's the least possible. And you were fooling around with your husband in bed with a woman. And the deal was is you were just going to have this little interlude with this woman in front of your husband.

28:58🔗 Yes.

28:58🔗 Adam But the agreement was he was not going to join in.

29:01🔗 Yes.

29:02🔗 Adam And when was this agreed upon?

29:05🔗 Caller Well, I've been involved with this girl twice now, and this was the second time. And after the first time, we talked about it and we said that the men were not going to get involved. They were just going to watch.

29:14🔗 Adam What do you mean, the men?

29:15🔗 Caller Yes. Or her husband also. Or her husband wasn't there at this time.

29:19🔗 Adam I see. And you guys were all in bed.

29:24🔗 Caller Yes.

29:24🔗 Adam And she was doing oral sex on you. And you were doing it on her. And what was your husband doing?

29:34🔗 Caller He was being involved with me, messing around with me.

29:37🔗 Adam Yeah, like he was working the top side while she was down below?

29:41🔗 Caller Yes.

29:42🔗 Adam I see. And then when did, yeah, but see, here's what I'm asking, goofball, when did he cross the line and work her over?

29:48🔗 Caller When I was working on her, he was kind of messing around with me and then he reached up and grabbed her.

29:55🔗 Adam When you were going down on her?

29:57🔗 Caller Yes.

29:58🔗 Adam I see. And couldn't you see that from your vantage point?

30:03🔗 Caller Well, we were like messing around all over and...

30:09🔗 Adam I see. We were just messing around. How big an offense is this to your crazy bisexual lifestyle? Did this really cross the line? This really offended your delicate sensibilities?

30:23🔗 Caller Well, I was just wondering if I had the right to be angry.

30:28🔗 Adam Well, listen, you guys had an agreement, but the agreement is sort of like this. It's like two guys saying, let's get drunk and let's have a boxing match, but no punching in the gut. In about round three, after a ponycage, one guy slugs the other guy in the gut. It's kind of like, well, you agreed on it, but on the other hand, the fist and beer were flying. What did you expect? I guess is my answer.

30:51🔗 Dr. Bruce And listen, the agreement was made under duress. He's dying to get in bed with two women. He'll tell you anything.

30:58🔗 Adam He would have agreed to a asbestos enema at that point. Do you understand? I see you two going at it.

31:06🔗 Dr. Bruce You ask if it's okay to be angry. I mean, do you have a very arbitrary ruling in your marriage it sounds like as to what's okay and what's not. I mean, when you start doing stuff as a threesome or you're having any sexual contact with somebody else, whether it's male or female, you're asking for the destabilization of the marriage. I mean, that's just sort of the rule with threesomes.

31:27🔗 Adam Let me tell you something, the whole reason this was instigated in the first place is so she could get angry, because she's looking to destabilize.

31:34🔗 Dr. Bruce There's something wrong with you, Lisa.

31:36🔗 Adam Where's your daddy?

31:38🔗 Caller Where's my dad?

31:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:39🔗 Caller He's here.

31:40🔗 Adam What happened?

31:42🔗 Caller Nothing.

31:42🔗 Adam What did he do?

31:43🔗 Caller Nothing.

31:43🔗 Adam Be honest.

31:44🔗 Caller Nothing.

31:45🔗 Adam What did he do to you?

31:46🔗 Caller Nothing.

31:47🔗 Adam Did he beat on you?

31:48🔗 Caller No.

31:50🔗 Adam Alcoholic?

31:51🔗 Caller No.

31:51🔗 Adam When were you molested?

31:53🔗 Caller I was not.

31:53🔗 Adam Raped?

31:54🔗 Caller No.

31:54🔗 Adam What happened to you?

31:56🔗 Caller Nothing.

31:56🔗 Adam Who didn't pay attention to you?

31:58🔗 Caller Nobody.

31:59🔗 Adam So, I'm not done. What did daddy do for a living?

32:03🔗 Caller He was a millwright.

32:07🔗 Adam A what?

32:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Works with metal. Yeah, mills.

32:10🔗 Adam He works with metal?

32:12🔗 Caller He does everything in a mill.

32:14🔗 Adam Yeah, what kind of mill?

32:15🔗 Caller Like a wood mill, wood products.

32:18🔗 Adam Aha!

32:19🔗 Caller Aha!

32:19🔗 Dr. Bruce That's enough.

32:19🔗 Adam It's all coming in and we're clear. And he didn't drink?

32:22🔗 Caller Nope.

32:23🔗 Adam No. And he's together with mommy?

32:24🔗 Caller Yep.

32:25🔗 Adam And what got you so chaotic? Then don't be defensive. Be honest now. Where did your parents drop the ball? Daddy didn't pay attention? No. What? He did? He loved you?

32:35🔗 Caller Yes.

32:35🔗 Adam He respected you?

32:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:37🔗 Adam He took care of you? What happened to you?

32:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

32:41🔗 Adam What happened to you?

32:42🔗 Caller I don't know.

32:42🔗 Adam What's wrong with you?

32:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Are you getting the message from Adam? Do you understand what he's trying to say? I mean, what you did, it's evidence of a chaotic relationship, of something being wrong, whether the origin of that is in your family of origin, with your relationship with your dad or your mom, or substance abuse, or...

33:00🔗 Adam Hold on. I'm not done. When did you move out of the house?

33:03🔗 Caller 16.

33:04🔗 Adam Oh, you moved out at 16.

33:06🔗 Caller Yes.

33:07🔗 Adam Why?

33:08🔗 Caller Because I was being a rebellious teenager. Uh-huh.

33:13🔗 Adam I bet you everything was great at home. You just moved out at 16.

33:17🔗 Caller Well, I mean, we were having the normal teenage parent confrontations, but...

33:22🔗 Adam And you moved... Where do you move out at 16?

33:25🔗 Caller I moved in with my husband.

33:28🔗 Adam At 16?

33:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:30🔗 Adam And how old is your husband now?

33:33🔗 Caller He's 25.

33:35🔗 Adam So, he was, what, three years old? So, he was 19?

33:39🔗 Caller Yes.

33:39🔗 Adam And you moved out?

33:40🔗 Caller Yes.

33:41🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Bruce, you know goddamn well everything's great on the home front. Nobody moves out at 16. I mean, this ain't that little house on the prairie, for Christ's sake. This is five years ago.

33:54🔗 Dr. Bruce Whether or not it is, you're not going to get that out of her.

33:56🔗 Adam Listen, I don't have to get it out of her. You move out of your house as a 16-year-old because you and your parents are going at it. That's trouble on the home front. Don't give me that, uh-huh. What the F is wrong with you?

34:10🔗 Dr. Bruce They're teenagers.

34:11🔗 Adam Why can't you agree with me? What is a crime in you?

34:14🔗 Caller What do you mean?

34:15🔗 Adam You name me a family where the kid moves out at 16. Not goes off to college. Not goes off to college. Not get some sort of a scholarship somewhere. Moves out because they can't handle the parents. You say that's fine? There's no problem with that?

34:35🔗 Dr. Bruce I have to learn to answer in two syllables.

34:36🔗 Adam Idiot. Shut up. I'm done with you. Lisa? Listen, you're a chaos queen. You're going to screw this relationship up. You're going to screw your kids up. You're going to have the same crappy relationship that you have with your parents with your kids. You talk to your parents?

34:51🔗 Caller Yes.

34:52🔗 Adam You do? You guys put whatever you had to put behind you?

34:56🔗 Caller Yes.

34:57🔗 Adam All right. When did you lose your virginity?

34:59🔗 Caller 15.

35:00🔗 Adam All right. With this screwball? No. What's your husband do?

35:05🔗 Caller He is an insulator.

35:06🔗 Adam No. You're talking about insulation insulator?

35:10🔗 Caller Yes.

35:10🔗 Adam Oh, he's crawling around attics all day, putting in R-19?

35:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:14🔗 Adam Oh, buddy. All right. Now listen to me. How old is your kid?

35:18🔗 Caller He's six months.

35:19🔗 Adam All right. That is your focus. Your number one job in life is not to screw that kid up. Do you hear me?

35:25🔗 Caller Yes.

35:25🔗 Adam Now you have to have a stable relationship so you don't screw that kid up and you can't have a stable relationship when you're screwing around with your friends and neighbors. All right. So whatever happened, happened. Forgive your husband. Put it behind you. Focus on being a good couple and taking care of this young'un. OK?

35:42🔗 Dr. Bruce OK. Oh, please.

35:43🔗 Adam Thank you very much.

35:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Wait a second.

35:45🔗 Adam You're all right. You take care of yourself.

35:48🔗 Dr. Bruce And the world is an OK place now that you've had your tirade.

35:51🔗 Adam Listen, Jack, ask with the Is it OK to move out at 16? That doesn't suggest any any trauma on the home front. You've got to give me that. But first off, you don't even make a sound to the mic. That's what I love about you. Listen. All right. Cool down. Then I get the puss. I get the well, it could go either way. Puss.

36:10🔗 Dr. Bruce First of all, she got married. She was too young when she got married. They've changed a lot. She's and he both have the feelers out for other stuff. And the thing is on the rocks, they they need to admit what's going on and they need to decide to work on it together, but quit the threesomes.

36:25🔗 Adam I want you to give me an example of someone who moved out at 16 now where everything was great.

36:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah, I'll tell you about that.

36:30🔗 Adam Don't give me that puss.

36:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Fred Jorgensen over on State Street over there.

36:33🔗 Adam Shut up, you jackass.

36:34🔗 Dr. Bruce You know his son, Jeff?

36:35🔗 Adam If your kids moved out when they were 16, you'd have a heart attack.

36:37🔗 Dr. Bruce I'd have a party.

36:39🔗 Adam Well, that's true. Idiot. Oh, boy. What name is that?

36:44🔗 Dr. Bruce He's just a dick. I agree, Drew.

36:49🔗 Adam Lula?

36:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:51🔗 Adam Lula.

36:51🔗 Dr. Bruce I must have put too much ecstasy in your fried calamari tonight.

36:53🔗 Adam Is that how you spell Lula?

36:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Come on. Jesus. All right.

36:58🔗 Adam What's up there?

36:58🔗 Dr. Bruce How are you doing?

36:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Fine. How are you?

37:00🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know. It's been a tough night so far. Idiot.

37:02🔗 Adam Oh, shut up.

37:03🔗 Dr. Bruce You know, I'm a real doctor and I'm getting called names and abuse.

37:06🔗 Adam You don't even talk. You should have let Drew come in tonight. You just sit there and shake your head. I asked you a question.

37:11🔗 Dr. Bruce I moved out when I was 17, too.

37:13🔗 Dr. Bruce And Luella, did you have Genghis the Khan for a father or an abuser mother?

37:18🔗 Dr. Bruce I didn't get along with neither one of them.

37:19🔗 Dr. Bruce But were you abused?

37:20🔗 Dr. Bruce But I was daddy's girl, though. I still didn't get along with them. Well, you're spoiled. Well, I was kind of abused, but kind of not. It was both parts. I was just real rebellious.

37:33🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, first off, and I know this, it's only one year, but there is a big difference between 16 and 17. A lot of people go off to college at 17 or 18. 16 is very young.

37:47🔗 Dr. Bruce I want to read the Corolla book on adolescent development.

37:50🔗 Adam Listen, you show me a 16 year old who moves out of the house, and I'm going to show you trouble at the house.

37:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, I tried to move out when I was 16.

37:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, why?

38:00🔗 Dr. Bruce Because I couldn't get along with my parents at all.

38:03🔗 Dr. Bruce And what state are you calling from?

38:04🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm calling from Ohio, or Indiana, actually. I just moved from Ohio to...

38:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, this is the Indiana exception. So that's why the other was 16. They were from California.

38:13🔗 Adam You don't know what you're talking about. What's up?

38:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay. I was wanting to know a question on my period. I haven't had a period in five... Almost five and a half years.

38:22🔗 Adam All right. Hold on. Anderson's got a P, so hold on.

38:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

38:25🔗 Adam All right. We got to take a break.

38:27🔗 Dr. Bruce This is smoke and cigarettes.

38:28🔗 Adam I don't like it. Anderson's jumping up and down over there like a...

38:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Because you're abusing me.

38:32🔗 Adam I'm just hitting the back of my...

38:33🔗 Dr. Bruce He doesn't like it when you're abusing me.

38:34🔗 Adam Listen, I don't like that. Why... What's in it for you not to agree with me all the time?

38:40🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm just honest.

38:41🔗 Adam When I'm right.

38:42🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't need this.

38:42🔗 Adam Honest what? I don't need this job. You know, you do that same crap Drew does. Here's what you two do. You think because daddy paid for a degree, you think you got one up on me. Then I lay something out and because it's my idea, you don't agree with it.

38:58🔗 Dr. Bruce It's because it's flawed that I don't agree with it. And I'm honest with you and you have one of your little neurons shaking around up there making some noise.

39:08🔗 Adam What do you think the percentage of 16-year-olds who move out of the house just for the sake of moving out and moving with a boyfriend, what percentage of that isn't because there's some trauma on the home front or some chaos on the home front? Because they just move out because it's time to move out at 16 and they found a guy, that they're not seeking refuge somewhere.

39:28🔗 Dr. Bruce There's a difference between abuse perpetrated on an adolescent or a child and a dysfunctional family unit where there's no limits or boundaries set and the kid is just pushing, pushing, pushing.

39:37🔗 Adam I'm not saying the chick was a chain door radiator and beaten with a tire chain. I am saying that the chaos that she experienced on the home, the same chaos that forced her out at 16, is a link to the chaos that she currently has in her relationship.

39:52🔗 Dr. Bruce You're asking in terms of abuse. How were you abused, honey? What did they do to you?

39:55🔗 Adam Everything was great, except for I moved out when I was 16. Why?

39:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Because she's still fairly immature, so she doesn't understand that what's not great might have been just Paris.

40:04🔗 Adam My point was I was making a link from the chaos of today to the chaos of yesterday. All right, Jack Hole? And you did nothing to help me bridge that link. We'll be right back.

40:16🔗 Dr. Bruce The missing link is what I work with.

40:24🔗 Adam Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Drew will be back in tomorrow night, and until then, we're kicking my butt. Kicking Dr. Bruce's ass. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

40:38🔗 Dr. Bruce You know what I notice? When I'm right, when I sit here confidently, it pisses you off, and you just go off like a little frustrated kid.

40:46🔗 Adam They sit there confidently nodding or shaking your head with a microphone. Drew does the same thing. He's been on the radio for 15 years. He'll shake his head with a mic. He'll nod his head to the mic. He's agreeing. All right. That's right. Luella?

41:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

41:04🔗 Adam All right. So now you haven't had your period in five years?

41:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Almost five and a half years.

41:09🔗 Dr. Bruce But you had a normal period at some point in adolescence.

41:12🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. I had a norepinephrine for five years and the day that I got my norepinephrine in, pretty much I stopped right after I got it put in and stopped having my periods. And then just recently I had it took out. It was the end of August that I had it took out. And my doctor said that I would start having my period within three weeks to three months.

41:37🔗 Adam And by the way, it's not had it took out. It's had it tooked out. Do you understand?

41:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. And he said that I would have a period within three weeks to three months. And I still haven't had one. And I was wanting to know if there was any possibility.

41:55🔗 Adam How long since he's taken it out?

41:57🔗 Dr. Bruce Since the end of August.

41:59🔗 Adam All right. But not having a period for five years is because of the noreplane. So we won't count that, right, Bruce?

42:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. It just takes time for things to kick back in. And have you gone, are you overweighed or they're in your...

42:12🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, major.

42:13🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay. So there could be other reasons that you're not having your periods come back as quickly as possible. And sometimes people that are overweight, there are various syndromes that occur that cause that to happen. Have you gone back to, had a follow-up visit? Has he done any hormone levels?

42:32🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

42:33🔗 Dr. Bruce You need to, I mean, you know.

42:35🔗 Adam How overweight are you?

42:37🔗 Dr. Bruce About 75 pounds.

42:38🔗 Adam Uh-huh. What's up with that?

42:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Um, I just started gaining it really bad when I got the nora plant put in.

42:44🔗 Adam Oh, really?

42:45🔗 Dr. Bruce You're fat.

42:45🔗 Adam Drew, please.

42:46🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I am.

42:47🔗 Adam No, no. Don't listen to Drew. He's very rude.

42:50🔗 Dr. Bruce Actually, I am.

42:51🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's all right, baby. You know, the good thing about being fat is you know who really loves you.

42:57🔗 Dr. Bruce Huh?

42:57🔗 Dr. Bruce You find out who really loves you.

42:59🔗 Adam Yeah, you don't get it.

42:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, I know who loves me.

43:01🔗 Adam Who? The vibrator?

43:02🔗 Dr. Bruce My boyfriend.

43:03🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. Black guy?

43:05🔗 Dr. Bruce Huh?

43:05🔗 Adam Black?

43:06🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

43:07🔗 Adam I'm just curious. You don't have a bunch of guys chasing you for that tight ass, you know? It's love, is what I'm saying.

43:15🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't have too much of a problem.

43:17🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. Listen, there's plenty of girls starving themselves and throwing up, and what they don't realize is there's a lot of guys out there like a little cushion.

43:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

43:27🔗 Adam All right. That's good times, right?

43:29🔗 Dr. Bruce I was wondering though, is there any chance that I could end up pregnant before I start having my period?

43:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Good question, Ace. You can ovulate and, you know, people, that doesn't happen, and it depends on what you consider your period. After all that time, it depends on how thin or thick your endometrium is, but the bottom line is you have to ovulate to have an egg to get fertilized. So whether or not you notice sloughing of the endometrial tissue or not, it depends how much was there, how much filled up.

44:02🔗 Adam That's your period, right? The sloughing?

44:03🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

44:04🔗 Adam All right. So, Luella, you need to get back and talk to the guy and get those tests and see if the weight's a factor and all that good stuff.

44:12🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Once you're on something like that, when you ovulate and what your period is going to be like initially, it's really hard to predict. So you need to follow up that you've gone way too long without following up with your doctor.

44:23🔗 Adam God bless your boyfriend. Kurt?

44:25🔗 Yeah, how you guys doing?

44:26🔗 Adam Year 20, what's up?

44:27🔗 Yeah. Yeah, I just started working in a paleontologist, you know, one of them foot doctors. Oh.

44:35🔗 Adam A podiatrist?

44:37🔗 Yeah, that's what it is.

44:38🔗 Adam Paleontologist. He digs up old feet, right?

44:41🔗 Dr. Bruce Studying ancient, yeah.

44:42🔗 Yeah, same thing. Yeah. I, but I...

44:46🔗 Adam Hold on, Kurt. I'm not so sure I'm enamored with your attitude. It may just put you on hold for a little while.

44:53🔗 Dr. Bruce I think you're sincerely saying it, I thought.

44:54🔗 Adam Okay. All right, go ahead, Kurt.

44:56🔗 Yeah, I've got a foot fetish. And that's obviously become a problem. You know, I've been kind of abusing people's feet, you know, more the voluble ones, you know what I'm saying?

45:13🔗 Adam Hold on, who have you been studying with, Don King?

45:17🔗 Yeah, I got bad vocabulary.

45:19🔗 Adam Are you kidding? So, let me see, the soluble feet? That's what I thought. The voluble. What? Vulnerable?

45:26🔗 Yeah, that's it.

45:27🔗 Adam I see. Are you an actual podiatrist or are you just a?

45:31🔗 No, I'm just an assistant.

45:32🔗 Adam Just an assistant, I see. I see. But you're learning to work in a doctor's world.

45:36🔗 Dr. Bruce It's like the pedophile that goes to work at the nursery school.

45:39🔗 Adam Oh, let me write that down. There you go.

45:41🔗 Dr. Bruce All right.

45:42🔗 Adam So, Kurt, I'm not sure if I believe Kurt exactly. He doesn't exactly sound like a doctor's assistant.

45:48🔗 Dr. Bruce Doesn't sound like he'd make it up either.

45:49🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. That sounds like he might.

45:51🔗 Dr. Bruce All right.

45:52🔗 Adam So, who cares? You like feet. You work at a place where there's feet.

45:54🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but he's stimulating himself while he's playing with their feet. I don't think that's okay.

45:58🔗 Adam You like donuts? You get a job at a Winchell's?

46:00🔗 Dr. Bruce Not if the glaze is not from the sugar barrel.

46:05🔗 Adam Bruce, everybody. All right. Bruce, what's your last name, by the way? You know, when I was leaving tickets for you at the Will Call, the Super Bowl of Motocross, they were like, what is the name of the guy? I go, Dr. Bruce. And what's his last name? I don't know. I don't know. You don't know his last name? I like when people get weird. I go, listen, Dr. Bruce. And you go, no. I'm like, the guy looks like Opie Taylor and Ichabod Crane mixed together. I said, listen, what is his last name? I said, listen, if a guy comes up and presents himself as Dr. Bruce, give him the ticket.

46:36🔗 Dr. Bruce I swear to God, I went to that Windows Saturday and they started laughing.

46:40🔗 Adam Listen, what is your last name?

46:43🔗 Dr. Bruce In 17 years, Drew has not given his last name on the show. I am not giving my last name.

46:48🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe you won't get into the next motocross show, wise ass. Oh. All right. Listen, hey, Kurt. All right. It's a big deal. You like feet and you get to see plenty of them.

46:57🔗 Dr. Bruce That's not all. What else are you doing there?

46:59🔗 Well, there's often very many photos of feet that the doctor likes to classify. And I often take, you know, try and take the documents home.

47:10🔗 Adam I see.

47:10🔗 And return them without him knowing.

47:12🔗 Adam I see. And you pleasure yourself to these pictures of feet?

47:16🔗 Absolutely.

47:17🔗 Adam Yeah. How about you get a job at a shoe store?

47:20🔗 Uh, good idea.

47:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, what can you do? All right.

47:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay, what's...

47:25🔗 Adam What do you do? What do you do?

47:26🔗 Dr. Bruce What's happened to him? How come you don't do a family history on this guy?

47:29🔗 Adam Because I think he's a joker.

47:30🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I don't... I think he's the real thing.

47:32🔗 Adam What would you tell him if he was the real thing?

47:35🔗 Dr. Bruce I'd get him to my colleague, the psychiatrist, that deals in paraphilias and sexual obsessions.

47:41🔗 Adam Right.

47:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Because...

47:42🔗 Adam What's paraphilias? His feet?

47:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, there are various sexual oddities or odd behaviors which people would consider them and things people need to have in the environment of the sex act or to get themselves excited or they can't get excited.

47:58🔗 Adam Hold on, genius. Look at the time. We gotta take a break. Oh, this is crazy.

48:01🔗 Dr. Bruce We just took one.

48:02🔗 Adam Well, look at the time. Oh, look at Anderson. He's passing out over there. Yeah, he is. Alright, we'll be back with more Foot Talk after this. Love Line, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bruce filming for Dr. Drew. One more night, then the fabulous return of Dr. Drew, everyone. Dr. Bruce doing a decent job, though.

48:34🔗 Dr. Bruce Is that why you're screaming at me? Calling me a... Things that Anderson has to bleep out?

48:39🔗 Adam I'm a motivator.

48:40🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm like Vince Lombardi. Nobody going to hire you to motivate him.

48:45🔗 You are an asshole.

48:47🔗 Dr. Bruce Who was that?

48:48🔗 Adam That was Violent J. From the Insane Clown Posse.

48:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, oh yeah. Religiously.

48:54🔗 Adam Kurt?

48:55🔗 Yeah.

48:56🔗 Adam You're 20.

48:57🔗 Caller Yeah, you already got to me.

48:58🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. You got your foot problem. Yeah, hold on a second. Listen, jackass, move your sticker. You idiot. Start doing your job. How dare you? Have me talk to Kurt again with his foot problem.

49:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Here's the guy. This must be your brother.

49:11🔗 Adam Yeah, we were done with Kurt. Kurt's a jack-off.

49:14🔗 Dr. Bruce No, Kurt needs to get some professional help. I'm wondering about his family of origin or family of disorder.

49:21🔗 Adam Do you really want to dig into Kurt and his foot fetish?

49:24🔗 Dr. Bruce No, he needs to get help. He needs to know that.

49:26🔗 Adam Okay. Kurt, you go to a therapist.

49:29🔗 Dr. Bruce And talk about this or you'll lose your job. Okay.

49:33🔗 Adam All right. Did you believe him? I didn't believe him.

49:36🔗 Dr. Bruce I believed him.

49:37🔗 Adam You're an idiot. You believe in God, too, you idiot. Tony?

49:41🔗 Caller I fear him.

49:42🔗 Adam You fear God.

49:43🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't.

49:45🔗 Caller Yeah. First up, I just want to say what an honor is to talk to a real man's man, not a spaz. So thank you, Adam, for taking my call.

49:52🔗 Adam Thank you, Tony. Whatever.

49:54🔗 Dr. Bruce Was that an offhanded slam at Dr. Spaz?

49:56🔗 Adam I think it was.

49:57🔗 Caller Not at all. But it is true. You are a little hyper, a little spazzy.

50:00🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You got to see him in real life.

50:03🔗 Caller First off, I don't know where to start. But I'll just... honestly, God, true story. I work with a couple of guys and we decided to get a PO box because we started seeing in the back of Hustler and stuff some real odd porno. I'm an aficionado just like Adam. I know everyone from SAKE all the way to Ron Jeremy. So basically we went off on a weird thing and we started getting the farmyard fantasy type thing. And at first it was funny and whatever. And I never was sexually turned on by it. But I would always get a kick out of it. Like a bad train wreck or FACE is a death type movie. And it started getting out of control.

50:43🔗 Adam Now, let me jump in for a second. I've seen these advertisements in the back of the hustlers too. Right. They never have a real explicit picture. It's just some chick naked and she's like leaning against a horse or something. But you kind of get the idea you're in for something.

50:58🔗 Caller Adam, I couldn't. I mean, that should be the only picture you should see. It is so disgusting. It's hilarious.

51:04🔗 Adam Now, does this stuff come from Europe?

51:07🔗 Caller Actually, that's where you mentioned that we're big fans of this German company. I've gotten the catalog from them. I'm doing colostomy bag porno now.

51:15🔗 Adam Nice.

51:16🔗 Caller I mean, it's just out of hand where I get a kick out of it. But I mean, you wouldn't believe me.

51:20🔗 Adam I mean, all right, hold on, hold on. How does the colostomy bag porno work?

51:25🔗 Caller Okay, we're on the radio. So basically what happens is there's different versions of putting it into the bag and then pouring up the bag on someone and someone they show, this is what's weird about German, they show them eating beforehand and then they do their thing in the bag and you see it fill up. And then they take it and just pour it on someone and then the other guy would masturbate on the bag, you know, just different versions of it.

51:54🔗 Adam Do they enter the colostomy hole that's in the side of the person?

51:59🔗 Caller I have not seen that yet, but I have seen an amputee with a hook.

52:04🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, hold on. I'm no porn director, although hold on, write that down.

52:08🔗 Dr. Bruce This is one of your big fans.

52:09🔗 Adam Well, your big fans are always like, I'm making colostomy videos. I have the guy insert his penis in the hole that fills the colostomy bag in the side of the person, not just hump the bag.

52:25🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm overwhelmed.

52:25🔗 Adam You know what I mean? This is like saying, listen, if I'm making a back door video, I'm not going to show a guy humping a toilet. Let's show him humping the chick's ass. That's just poor German directing there. You know what I'm saying? All right, Tony, but hold on now. By the way, I've never seen the colostomy bag stuff advertised. You must have got on some mailing lists.

52:51🔗 Caller They can. Everything is in German. I don't know what they're saying. I'd love to have an interpreter.

52:57🔗 Adam All right, but hold on. Now, in the sex films, in the bestiality films.

53:04🔗 Caller From everything from giraffes to monkeys. It's out of hand.

53:08🔗 Adam Wait a minute.

53:09🔗 Caller Honest to God. I can mail it to you.

53:12🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Who is having sex with a giraffe?

53:15🔗 Caller That's what I'm so intrigued about. It's like I'm thinking, what if I saw this lady at the bank, and then two hours later, she's getting it on with a walrus. Tony, Tony, slow down.

53:24🔗 Adam You what? I'm thinking, what if I saw this lady at the bank, and then two hours later, she's getting it on with a walrus. You what?

53:28🔗 Caller I have not seen a walrus.

53:29🔗 Adam Okay, I understand that, but they were just a little hyperbole there to make a point. But, and by the way, when you're making a point that way, and you go bank, you go alliteration. You go, she's at the bank, and two hours later, she's getting it on with a buffalo, as he used to be there.

53:45🔗 Caller Right, right.

53:46🔗 Adam Walrus would be, you saw at the Walmart, and then she's getting it on with the walrus. See, that's a good sentence there. Okay, but anyway, Tony, what are the animals that you have seen women have sex with?

53:58🔗 Caller Honest to God, I have seen pigs, horses. I saw a bull, which is unreal, because I guess it was a rodeo bull, according to what I gathered from it, because it was burnt many times on a scrotum to get it riled up. So there was actual, like, stitches, actually fresh stitches on the scrotum, where they must have, I don't know, but I've seen bulls, what the giraffe I saw.

54:23🔗 Adam Oh, no, no, no, hold on now.

54:25🔗 Caller That's honest.

54:25🔗 Adam First off, how does a chick safely get under a bull, and how does that work? Tammy, you'll be having sex with the widow maker.

54:35🔗 Caller Okay, I should clarify because...

54:38🔗 Adam 1800 pounds.

54:39🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't think Osha's out there to investigate.

54:41🔗 Caller Yeah, I should clarify. A lot of times, it's oral gratification. As in the case of a pork, pig product, or a horse, that I have seen them get the mounting, and there's no pulleys or anything like that. It's just an amazing thing. That's why I'm so intrigued by it, and people call me sick, and it's like, I'm not getting off to it. I'm not... It's hilarious. A woman doing this for money, I mean, that's, you know, it's unmentioned.

55:09🔗 Adam All right, so now, Tony, how does a woman, and maybe Ann can answer this, safely perform oral sex on a 1600-pound bull?

55:18🔗 Caller Oh, right.

55:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Why would Ann have any knowledge of...

55:21🔗 Adam Ann grew up in the 80s, and there was a kind of an anything-goes-type atmosphere. Right, right. She grew up in a beach community where people are much more relaxed.

55:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Those bulls were running around the beach.

55:33🔗 Adam I'm not saying she did. I'm saying maybe she had friends. She was in a party. You know, Ann's an open person.

55:39🔗 Dr. Bruce Ann's giving you a look like, what drug did you do? What drug did Dr. Bruce put you up with?

55:45🔗 Caller They got like farmhand-type guys that kind of like, they coax the... In the case of the pig, I mean this thing...

55:52🔗 Adam Okay, okay, listen. I'm not interested in the pig. I want to know the bull.

55:55🔗 Dr. Bruce I got a visual.

55:55🔗 Adam Shut up. I want to know the bull.

55:57🔗 Dr. Bruce I got a 3D visual picture myself. I don't need any more of this.

56:00🔗 Adam It's sick.

56:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Tony, Tony, you're a sick person.

56:04🔗 Adam Shut up. I asked how she performs oral sex in a bull safely. I want an answer.

56:09🔗 Caller Okay, the floor has like a square hole where she pops up from. It's not, it's like in a garage, you know, how they change your oil.

56:17🔗 Adam Yeah, right.

56:18🔗 Caller It sticks like half of her body up.

56:20🔗 Adam There's a mechanics pit.

56:22🔗 Caller Right, right, right, or a bestiality pit, if you will.

56:25🔗 Adam Right.

56:26🔗 Caller And she goes to town in that nature. And what I've noticed is a lot of times if the bull does get too excited, she ducks down in there.

56:33🔗 Adam And I see.

56:34🔗 Caller I see. The bulls are definitely strapped in and there's farmhands around. I don't know if they have cattle parrots or what it is.

56:41🔗 Adam I see.

56:41🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

56:42🔗 Adam And and does the, does, do the animals reach climax?

56:47🔗 Caller That's absolutely the greatest part about the whole thing. About a gallon worth when they eat a giraffe.

56:53🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, that's great.

56:54🔗 Adam And what, what, the giraffe, what, who comes more, giraffe or bull?

56:59🔗 Caller Actually, the giraffe was much more. And the giraffe was almost like a, of a tapioca nature. Oh, I see.

57:05🔗 Adam And what, and hold on. And how big is the giraffe's penis?

57:08🔗 Caller Oh boy, over a foot and a half, no problem. But it's the width that really matters with the giraffe.

57:14🔗 Adam Where the hell do they get a giraffe? And how does this work?

57:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Look, Tony, Tony, do you want to know?

57:19🔗 Caller Because I should mention all the animals look very, very male, whatever. They're beaten or whatever, but which I'm not, I'm advocating by any means.

57:26🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, listen, listen. You merely purchased the product and fund the company, but you would no where endorse it.

57:34🔗 Caller Right, right, right.

57:35🔗 Adam Right, I see. All right, so now.

57:37🔗 Caller This is where it comes into where I don't mind getting ribbed on by other guys, you know, because they've seen it too. It's not like, or whatever, but I'm the guy who's always last in the room. Everyone's got to walk out and, you guys got to see this. Check this out and they're like, no, really, we've had enough. And, you know, seen, you know, they actually have animal gang bang like four pigs and a woman now. I mean, it's out of hand. And the thing is, I really mean it. You've never seen something this humorous. I mean, it's it's definitely funny. People don't perceive me. Maybe I have a sick humor.

58:04🔗 Adam Well, you know the rhyme. This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy went home. This little pig had roast beef. This little pig had none. And this little piggy corn hold this German best. Right, right. I don't know the rest goes. But I remember that one. All right, Tony. Hey, Tony, I'm a little mixed on you. I got to be I got to be honest. I appreciate the information. And I understand the curiosity factor. But at some point, don't you think it demeans you a little bit? I mean, we all know the woman's being demeaned. And worried about the giraffe and his his attorney. But I worry about the woman and the people that are involved with this. And it demeans you to some degree to sit there and watch it, doesn't it?

58:50🔗 Caller Yeah. And the thing that I agree wholeheartedly with what you're saying is the fact that afterwards, it's not like I'm proud because I got to finish it. It's like a matter of, wow, how come I'm sick enough to watch the whole thing?

59:01🔗 Adam All right. So why don't you just stop? Do you think you could stop?

59:05🔗 Caller Okay. Yeah. It's something like that. But I do have to mention one last thing. We have a video coming in. And I said after this video, I would watch no more. And this has to be like, I don't know.

59:15🔗 Adam This is a manatee screwing an underage Vietnamese girl.

59:21🔗 Caller No, no, no. This is a quadriplegic lady. And she basically, to make it lightly, she takes on... I got my body punching me right now.

59:33🔗 Adam Sure.

59:33🔗 Caller She takes on insects, you could say. She puts them inside and what not.

59:38🔗 Adam Sure. Wait a minute. Who puts it in? Does someone put it in for her? I mean, she doesn't have use of her arms or legs.

59:46🔗 Caller Right, right. What happens, I guess, from what I understand reading it or whatever is, watch the ex-lady or whatever they call her, have insects coming out of every orifice.

59:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Tony, are you married? Wait a minute. Let's find out about Tony.

1:00:01🔗 Adam He's married to his job and his religion. Are you kidding?

1:00:04🔗 Caller In my job, that's where the problem, I don't, you know, with all this, I have no reason to lie, but my uncle kind of runs a little bookie thing, so I do like a little muscle work for him, so to speak. And I'm not lying, but what happens, what happens is with this style of work and all.

1:00:22🔗 Adam Yes. Hold on, Tony used the F word, so Anderson had to give him the X. All right, now hold on. Let me say this. First off, let me address the quadriplegic with the insect in the coup's situation. I respect this woman. There's a lot of people that are sitting home collecting Social Security and disability who have disabilities. This is someone who's not handicapped, she's handicappable. She's out there earning a living and not sucking the teat of Uncle Sam, waiting for that $637 check every two weeks in the mail. Here's someone who's proud. Here's someone who's out there forging a living for herself. Maybe not her first career choice. Probably wasn't the kind of thing she wanted to do right out of high school. But the road has taken a turn and she's making a lemonade out of lemons.

1:01:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Look, these are sick people. Tony is addicted to this form of behavior. This is not, it's not, it's worse now. What's a worse word than degrading? It's a destructive stuff. F'd up. It's F'd up. It's destructive. It's destructive to Tony and Tony's in a vicious cycle here. And I doubt he's going to be able to just quit doing this. And I'm even afraid to ask what his relationships are like with women. Why don't you ask about his family upbringing? The guy's out breaking legs for Uncle Guido. He's out, watch.

1:01:39🔗 Adam How dare you assume he was an Italian American? Just because he ran some books.

1:01:46🔗 Dr. Bruce Because I'm from New York. And my friend Tony had an Uncle Guido.

1:01:50🔗 Adam Tony, are you Italian? Tony, Tony, are you of Italian descent?

1:01:56🔗 Caller 100 percent.

1:01:57🔗 Adam All right. Just a coincidence. I assure you. I assure you. There are many misconceptions about the way Chinese women drive and black men having a bigger ass and Italians being involved with the mob. All brutal stereotypes.

1:02:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Listen, my father, all the Jews and Italians from New York, they hang out together and I must admit. Listen, Tony, we need to get Tony some help.

1:02:24🔗 Adam No, Tony's good. Listen, Tony, just promise me the quad one is the last one, all right?

1:02:29🔗 Caller I guarantee you it will and I really mean this. Thank you for sharing this great moment in radio history.

1:02:34🔗 Adam Thank you, Tony.

1:02:34🔗 Caller And I have to say one thing, Adam, I'm not like one of these suck ups, but that man show, man, the man show, boy, all the stuff there, you got a great humorous intellect. And I really appreciate it. And I'll guarantee you that this is the last video.

1:02:46🔗 Adam Thanks, Paisan.

1:02:47🔗 Caller I'll listen to you guys from this day on. You guys are great.

1:02:49🔗 Adam All right, Arieva D'Arci. I love that, Tony. Is it Paisan?

1:02:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Not to stereotype or categorize.

1:02:57🔗 Adam Is he why women love Italian men?

1:03:00🔗 Dr. Bruce Certain type women, like certain type Italian men.

1:03:02🔗 Adam All right, let's talk to Jay over here. I've never seen one of those BC Alley movies. There's certain things that I realize that are out there and that I don't have to see.

1:03:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, eating feces, pornos and those kinds of things.

1:03:16🔗 Adam Yeah, the one where they rape the colostomy bag.

1:03:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, that sounds pretty gross. But what people should understand is what he's describing, there is a cycle to it and it takes more and more to get somebody stimulated and it comes back to very unhealthy behavior that needs help.

1:03:33🔗 Adam How dare you label Tony unhealthy?

1:03:35🔗 Dr. Bruce As you are asking other people about their families of origin after a simple threesome, this guy is watching The Animal Kingdom and Mother Nature.

1:03:43🔗 Adam He cannot indulge in a simple enema bag, porn every once in a while. How dare you?

1:03:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Amongst a group of hardened sex criminals, he's the last in the room.

1:03:55🔗 Adam Jay?

1:03:56🔗 Dr. Bruce Nose stuck to the people.

1:03:57🔗 Adam Jay?

1:03:58🔗 Caller Yes.

1:03:59🔗 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:04:02🔗 Caller Well, I heard you earlier today or earlier tonight. I don't get violent with the women like when they break up with me. I just get a reaction after I break up with them. I get very self-destructive. I start drinking a lot or just anything to take my mind off of them. I mean, my grades go down. I start ditching school. It's normally girls like, well, I'm only in relationships that are something more than six months or whatever. I mean, they're usually eight months, a year or whatever. And then I start getting really destructive after we break up.

1:04:42🔗 Adam Yeah, you're 19. How many of these you've been in?

1:04:46🔗 Caller My first one was at age, well, I was a freshman in high school. My first one, that was a year. Then I didn't, I got really destructive and I didn't want to talk to any girls for about a year. And I kind of saw a girl in between then. But then senior year, I dated this other girl for a year. And then just recently as a freshman in college, I dated a girl for eight months.

1:05:11🔗 Adam I see. And do they always break up with you?

1:05:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I refuse. I refuse to break up with women. I view it as you can always work something out. I mean, my parents have been married for like 40 years. I mean, they got married when my mom was 16. My dad was 19.

1:05:29🔗 Adam All right. Well, we had one of those tonight already. Hey, Jay. Yeah. Let me ask you this and think about it before you answer. Do you, you will not get out of a relationship. You will not end a relationship. But will you behave in a manner that gets them to end the relationship? Oh, not so good after all, is he? Maybe you're bringing this on yourself. Maybe this is a syndrome. This is some sort of thing that this this repetition, this fantasy that you live out. Lord knows I've done this myself many times. Your biggest fear is getting dumped. But yet, you force someone to dump you at the six month part of a, you know, at the six month mile marker, road marker in a relationship. Do you do that? First off, are you done recycling? Yeah. I see. Do you do, do you ask why do they dump you? Well, let me tell you something. Women are fairly forgiving, and I think they would like a relationship to go on, provided the guys acting the way they want them to act in the relationship. Now, you might, listen, I've been dumped by every chick I've ever been with, but it's never, it's never because, is there because they got tired of me, it's because they got tired of me acting the way I was acting. And if I straightened out, they would have stayed with me.

1:06:55🔗 Caller Well, the problem is, is though I've never cheated on them.

1:06:59🔗 Adam I never cheated either.

1:07:01🔗 Caller The one girl I lied to, I lied about going to a party.

1:07:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:05🔗 Caller Well, listen, I really pissed and she broke up with me. All the other ones, I mean, I really don't know why. I never asked them for an explanation. But the one I did was because I went to a party and told her I wasn't going to a party.

1:07:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:17🔗 Adam But that ain't it because you had to have some build up, some history, some groundwork laid for that wasn't just you went to a party and didn't tell her about it.

1:07:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:27🔗 Dr. Bruce You're not talking about the quality of the relationship, the nature, the intimacy, the relationship characteristics. You're talking about just a pattern of you meet somebody, you're with them for 10 months, then they break up with you and you get violent for a year. What do you do in the storing up all this anger during that year? What kind of communication is going on between you and the other person? What type of people are you going out with? What was your relationship like with your mom?

1:07:50🔗 Caller I hardly ever went out with girls when I was, I mean we had a strict rule because I'm always afraid of girls cheating on me, that I told her I won't go out with girls unless you go out with guys and they never had a problem with that, so I never went out with girls, you know, at least alone. In groups it was a different story and like...

1:08:10🔗 Adam Oh, he meant go out socially with other girls. Hold on a second, let me talk to Bruce for a second. You see, tell me if you're getting this vibe. Jay is sort of wondering about women and why they're dumping him and what's going on, and he's sort of chalking it up to outside third parties and outside energy and women just being...

1:08:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Women are bad.

1:08:36🔗 Adam Women are being bad. Jay sounds very angry, very controlling, and like, I would dump his ass after, not after eight months, but after about eight hours. You know what I mean?

1:08:48🔗 Dr. Bruce But women will take a little bit more.

1:08:49🔗 Adam I've talked to Jay for four minutes. I've been asked full of Jay. He's getting these women to dump him, and I don't blame him for a second, and then he goes into one of his...

1:08:57🔗 Dr. Bruce How angry he is.

1:08:58🔗 Adam He goes into why he's angry. Jay? Yes. Okay. What do you think of that? You need to not focus on the final outcome, which is how angry you are when they dump you. You need to focus on the part that gets them to dump you so consistently.

1:09:11🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I don't... I always tell them if they want to hang out with me, because like I heard you guys over the break, or when you guys put me on hold, I always tell them if they want to hang out with other guys, I would like to hang out with them and get to know the guy first. Because I mean, as a guy, you're always going to be suspicious when they're like, oh, I'm going to hang out with some so-and-so, when you never meet them.

1:09:31🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, it doesn't sound like you're having an intimate relationship with somebody. It just sounds like you're laying down some rules, and then you're getting them to agree to some rules. This is a relationship. It's an intimate relationship. It's not an employee-employer relationship. It's not a coach-player relationship. This is an intimate relationship, and it sounds like you're intellectualizing the whole thing.

1:09:53🔗 Caller But see, we both agree upon it. I always ask them, and I tell them if they have any problems.

1:09:58🔗 Adam Right. Well, just because you had your lawyer draft something up, and you had her sign it in front of her lawyer doesn't make it legal. All right, listen, Jay, there's a part of you that's almost robotic with women. You're not an intimate guy, you're an angry guy, and that's what ultimately gets them to dump you. They don't feel anything. They just feel an angry Jay, and you got to get at some of that anger and figure it out. Go to some therapy, mellow out. Don't have a relationship for a year.

1:10:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Why does it take a minute?

1:10:27🔗 Adam Do therapy for a year, read some books, and get your ass together, and then enter a relationship when you're in shape.

1:10:33🔗 Dr. Bruce Get to be friends with a girl for about a month and see what happens.

1:10:35🔗 Adam Let me tell you something about a relationship. It's like entering the octagon in one of those ultimate fighting championships, or a boxing ring. If you're going to sit around, smoke cigarettes, and drink beer for a year, and you decide you're going to walk in the ring, you're going to get pummeled. You got to be doing your push-ups. You got to be jumping rope. You got to be doing your road work. You got to be hitting that heavy bag. You know what that's equivalent of? That's equivalent in a relationship to getting your head together, to doing your therapy, to reading your books, to taking your walks, to clearing out your head, so that when the bell rings and you're actually asked to perform in the ring, you can make a good showing.

1:11:10🔗 Dr. Bruce And that's what you've been doing for the last 10 years.

1:11:12🔗 Adam No, not me. I've been drinking beer and smoking. We'll be back.

1:11:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Hello? Who is this?

1:11:19🔗 This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:21🔗 Caller Loveline. We'll be right back.

1:11:24🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Lit is going to be in here at the end of the week. And a surprise guest, Dr. Drew, everybody. You know his work from, well, I guess you know him from this show.

1:11:42🔗 Caller Wow.

1:11:44🔗 Adam I don't know if he's taken ill or he was replaced some years back. Maybe left with poor man in the early 90s.

1:11:51🔗 Dr. Bruce He left on last Wednesday.

1:11:53🔗 Adam Oh, was it? It feels like it's been longer. And so far, Bruce has come in here and done just a, I was going to say a whale of a job. And I'm looking for a smaller aquatic animal.

1:12:04🔗 Dr. Bruce Don't mention animals.

1:12:06🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like a walrus of a job.

1:12:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, a giraffe of a job. Remember what you told him, alliteration.

1:12:12🔗 Adam Dolphin of a job. A flounder of a job. I give you a grouper of a job. Brian?

1:12:19🔗 Hello.

1:12:19🔗 Adam You're 21.

1:12:20🔗 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:12:21🔗 Adam Good. How are you doing?

1:12:22🔗 Caller I'm well, I'm all right except for my problem. All right. I'm a gay male and whenever I have sex with my boyfriend, he, well, lately, I mean, we lube up and everything as well as we can over the condom, of course. Whenever I go to number two, I leave little blood trails.

1:12:45🔗 Adam I see. You're gay. True, please.

1:12:48🔗 Caller True, true, true.

1:12:49🔗 Adam All right. So your behind man has been broken many times.

1:12:54🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. We're still sort of in the beginning of that. But I mean, see, that's what I was wondering because I'm like sort of, I don't know, necessarily inexperienced. But I mean, I guess once you've done it, that's all the experience you really need.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what the guy told me. Now, let me just figure this out. I'm intrigued by the gay lifestyle.

1:13:14🔗 Dr. Bruce You're the master, right?

1:13:16🔗 Adam I'm the master of the gay lifestyle.

1:13:17🔗 Dr. Bruce You're the backdoor man.

1:13:18🔗 Adam It's one I've been trying to embrace for many years. I just can't get my penis to go along with it. But I enjoy all other facets of the gay lifestyle.

1:13:27🔗 Caller We're very clean. We're very nonviolent.

1:13:28🔗 Adam Oh, oh, oh. I'm telling you, there's nothing like the gays. If this society was gay, it would be a much better place.

1:13:37🔗 Caller You know what I find very funny?

1:13:38🔗 Adam What?

1:13:38🔗 Caller Is that we're so darned clean, but we have the dirtiest type of... We go into the dirtiest place imaginable to have sex. Isn't that weird?

1:13:46🔗 Adam I know. It's a guy, he's got a... His miata are the, you know, the dash is armor-old, the tires are armor-old. There's not a speck of dust on it. You go into the guy's living room, it's immaculate. It's like they could perform surgery in his kitchen, and then he takes his crank and stuffs it into some asshole. Yeah, I mean, go figure. Clear compensation, Brian.

1:14:10🔗 Caller Well...

1:14:10🔗 Adam But anyway, now you have a boyfriend.

1:14:13🔗 Caller Right.

1:14:14🔗 Adam And do you guys live together?

1:14:16🔗 Caller Well, he comes over.

1:14:18🔗 Adam I see.

1:14:18🔗 Caller We live apart still. We're not that committed.

1:14:21🔗 Adam What a lifestyle.

1:14:22🔗 Caller That's true.

1:14:23🔗 Adam Party, party, party.

1:14:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Maybe you guys want to come over Adams and...

1:14:26🔗 Caller You know how it goes. It's raining, man.

1:14:28🔗 Adam Oh, boy. What a life. Oh, I love that gay life. And it's better when you move in.

1:14:35🔗 Caller That's why gay means happy, my friend.

1:14:36🔗 Adam I know. You get to move in together. You got two incomes. You got the house looks amazing. It tastes impeccable.

1:14:45🔗 Caller Squeegees in the shower?

1:14:46🔗 Adam Squeegees in the shower. Yes, that is so true. We haven't talked about that in years. All gay men who have those lucite shower doors, they squeegee them off when they're done. You know how I clean my shower door to get the soap scum off it? I pee on it.

1:15:00🔗 Caller Oh, lovely.

1:15:02🔗 Adam That's a straight man's move. How do I get the ass off the shower door? I pee on it. That's how.

1:15:08🔗 Dr. Bruce It's an angry straight man.

1:15:09🔗 Adam All right. Wait a minute. Just hold on with the ass. Now, do you give it to him, too?

1:15:14🔗 Caller No.

1:15:15🔗 Adam Let's see. That's interesting. Are most gay relationships this way where one is the receiver?

1:15:21🔗 Caller From what I understand, there's a role played in the bedroom.

1:15:25🔗 Adam Now, is that role a subservient role?

1:15:29🔗 Caller No, not necessarily.

1:15:35🔗 Adam As the guy who's being anally raped, don't you think of it as a sort of subservient role? You're not the aggressor. You're what the female, the equivalent to what the female would be in a traditional heterosexual relationship?

1:15:50🔗 Caller Yeah, but I don't know. I don't look at it as a dominance type of act.

1:15:56🔗 Adam But what about in your relationship? Is he the more aggressive one? Does he get his way more?

1:16:03🔗 Caller No, we're both actually pretty guys. We go out and play sports and basketball and stuff. Right.

1:16:10🔗 Adam But now, what if some hillbillies were trying to squirt you with a fire extinguisher from the back of their pickup truck? Who would be the one who would run after them, you or him?

1:16:21🔗 Caller Oh, no. Well, I don't know. We don't really. We don't see. We're not really even that like outwardly gay, you know? I mean, in public, we don't hold hands or kiss.

1:16:32🔗 Adam I see. I see.

1:16:33🔗 Caller We're in kind of a rural area, rural area, and we don't want to cause any trouble.

1:16:38🔗 Adam What about your parents?

1:16:40🔗 Caller My parents, well, they're fine with it, but they keep it kind of quiet.

1:16:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Brian, Adam's dealing with some God-given stereotypes that were delivered to him on the day he was born.

1:16:49🔗 Adam I love the gays. I've said that many, many a time.

1:16:52🔗 Caller You know what? I love the gays too.

1:16:54🔗 Adam I know. You love them. I mean, I really mean it. Here's what we would have with a gay-er society. We have more recycling. We'd have much less crime. We have just general, better just sort of overall decency.

1:17:07🔗 Caller And fashion.

1:17:08🔗 Adam And fashion. Let me, I'll show you something. You'll never see a gay guy change his oil and then dump the motor oil down the storm drain. You'll never see a gay guy drive down the freeway and toss a bunch of McDonald's wrappers out of the window. You'll never have a gay guy get drunk and start beating on some other guy at a soccer game or something. It doesn't happen. These people recycle. They care about the environment. They're into politics. You go down, you go down, go down to the gay section over here. Go down to, go down to West Hollywood. Go down to Santa Monica Boulevard. Go down to Boys Town. You'll never see a more immaculate place. They're constantly digging up the street and improving it. All the storefronts are impeccable. It's clean. It's safe. This is what you get with the gays.

1:17:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Why don't you go live there?

1:17:53🔗 Adam I wish I was gay. I would like to be the official straight ambassador of the gays.

1:17:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Maybe there's a gay person locked inside your body.

1:18:00🔗 Caller You know how you start, Adam? When you're meandering through the porno store, just keep on walking into the gay section.

1:18:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:07🔗 Caller And just pick up one and take it for a drive.

1:18:09🔗 Adam I know, but you know, I've talked about this with Drew, and here's the... Don't take this the wrong way, but gay erotica to straight guys is repulsive.

1:18:18🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:18:20🔗 Adam It is sickening to them. They have a physical reaction to it. They cannot see it. Bruce, if you see a gay erotica, some guys really work and some other guy, it hits you on a visceral gut level that's repulsive to you, doesn't it? Yes, it does. We can't help it. It's a straight man's curse.

1:18:38🔗 Caller Oh, wow.

1:18:38🔗 Adam All right. Anyway, his bleeding anus. What about it?

1:18:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, do I get to...

1:18:42🔗 Caller I've tried like sitting in a warm bath and like all the house...

1:18:44🔗 Dr. Bruce The six baths. Right. And you tried the hemorrhoidal preparations over the counter?

1:18:48🔗 Caller Yep, nothing.

1:18:49🔗 Adam Well, what is the bleeding from?

1:18:52🔗 Caller Bruce. Oh, I'm sorry.

1:18:53🔗 Adam That's all right. What do you think? See how polite it is?

1:18:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Hemorrhoids are veins that are used to having low pressure of blood going through them. And if the pressure builds up, people will strain when they have a lot of constipation. Things that cause them to expand beyond the radius or diameter they should be, as something like that expands, the wall weakens and you have a leakage of blood. So the things that you do are things that would decrease the pressure. People that sit for long periods of time, you know, doctors recommend they sit on something soft. Right, sit on a donut. But if you're having the bleeding, you need to have it looked at, first of all, because you're assuming it's coming from the hemorrhoids, and most likely it is.

1:19:34🔗 Adam No, he's not saying it's coming from the hemorrhoids. He didn't say he had hemorrhoids, did he?

1:19:39🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I don't know. I'm just...

1:19:42🔗 Adam Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on a second. Bruce, here's a mistake you commonly make. You read the screen. You see? Don't read the screen. Because he never said he had hemorrhoids on the air. He said he was bleeding from the ass.

1:19:56🔗 Dr. Bruce I thought he said hemorrhoids.

1:19:57🔗 Adam No, he has hemorrhoids, but he never said it. You read it on the screen. You see? You got to wait for him to say it because everyone is listening to the show doesn't know what you're talking about with the hemorrhoids because you're reading it.

1:20:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Can I get back to my profound state?

1:20:10🔗 Adam You see what I'm saying?

1:20:11🔗 Dr. Bruce All right. So, Brian. Yeah. Bleeding, it's in the category of rectal bleeding. So, one of the very common causes, anal fissures, you can have a little cut in the wall. Well, but it's certainly consistent with what you're describing. So, what a doctor would do, even if you have hemorrhoids, would probably take a look a little further up with at least an anuscope and make sure that there's not an anal fissure causing the bleeding and maybe even use a sigmoidoscope because you are talking about a very common cause of bleeding hemorrhoids but then you have anal fissures.

1:20:46🔗 Adam What if he stayed away from the corne-holing activity for just a couple of, gave his ass a rest?

1:20:52🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, he still should have a doctor look at him. There is no doctor.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Obviously he has traumatized his ass with his boyfriend's penis. How about switching over to a little oral love? Wait a minute. Hey Brian?

1:21:04🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:21:04🔗 Adam How about you work this guy's ass for a little while and give your own ass a little break?

1:21:08🔗 Caller That might teach him something.

1:21:09🔗 Adam Yeah, stay off the ass for a little while. Now let me say this. Obviously it's a little embarrassing for some guys to go into the doctor and say, listen, I'm going to get my coolly work pretty good.

1:21:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Let me say the other thing with the gay community, they know their doctors and they're not at all shy about talking about it.

1:21:24🔗 Adam Brian, you don't have, you're not reticent at all about going in and telling some guy you've been getting work pretty good in the anus?

1:21:31🔗 Caller Well, the thing about my butthole is that it's as big as a mason jar.

1:21:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, is that that guy? He did it again.

1:21:43🔗 Caller That was our guy.

1:21:45🔗 Dr. Bruce How come you didn't pick up on that?

1:21:46🔗 Adam I don't know the guy. Drew knows the guy's voice. Of course, you got a sense of humor. You can't be uptight and have a penis in your ass.

1:21:54🔗 Dr. Bruce That's the mason jar guy.

1:21:56🔗 Adam I don't know if it was him. We got to play that for Drew because it may have been a guy doing a mason guy thing. But let me say this. Let me say this about gay in anus. I think there should be gay doctors like there's mafia doctors.

1:22:10🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, they don't have to be that secretive.

1:22:13🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying? You take a bullet, some other wise guy shots you. You can't go to the hospital and get reported. You go to the mafia doctor. You got an anal fissure from your boyfriend cornhole in you too much. You go to the gay doctor. You know, you got a little pink eye from some semen in your eye. You go to the gay doctor. He keeps it on the down low. You know what I mean? No questions asked. Just fix that fissure, give you some lube, send you on your way. You pay cash.

1:22:39🔗 Dr. Bruce It's not quite that clandestine.

1:22:41🔗 Adam You should be a gay doctor.

1:22:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Because I have that empathy.

1:22:43🔗 Adam That would be a good fit for you. All right, we're going to take a break. Okay, first let's say hi to Jennifer. Jennifer?

1:22:48🔗 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:22:48🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:22:49🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay, I think I'm on the verge of anorexia. But I don't think it's serious. I think it's called anorexia nervosa.

1:23:02🔗 Adam How much do you weigh?

1:23:04🔗 Caller 117.

1:23:05🔗 Adam How tall are you?

1:23:07🔗 Caller About 5'4. You're overweight.

1:23:09🔗 Adam Drew, please. She's not overweight. All right, hold on.

1:23:12🔗 Dr. Bruce All right, this is a very important call. Stay on the line, Jennifer, because we really want to talk to you. Very important subject.

1:23:16🔗 Adam That's right. What was it? We'll be back.

1:23:22🔗 Caller Uh, back in a minute.

1:23:28🔗 Adam Yeah. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Spence. Over there.

1:23:34🔗 Dr. Bruce They call more names than when I was 14 years old and riding on the wrong bus.

1:23:38🔗 Adam Called Bruce Jackal 10 seconds ago. I'll forget about that phone number. Let's keep rolling along. Let's say, let's burn some calls. What do you say, man? Jennifer.

1:23:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:49🔗 Adam All right. So you think you may be anorexic, yeah?

1:23:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:52🔗 Adam 5'4, 116?

1:23:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:55🔗 Adam OK. And are you throwing up?

1:23:58🔗 Caller No.

1:23:58🔗 That's, believe me, you're taking...

1:24:00🔗 Adam Well, it can be both, right?

1:24:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Big issue is how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as being overweight?

1:24:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:08🔗 Dr. Bruce When you objectively know you're not. I mean, there's a disorder of body image, of your perceived body image, is one of the requisite problems with an anorexic condition.

1:24:18🔗 Adam So you taking laxatives?

1:24:20🔗 Caller No.

1:24:21🔗 Adam What are you eating?

1:24:23🔗 Caller I don't eat breakfast. I don't eat lunch. And I'll eat dinner so that my parents don't suspect anything. But only really small portions, like I won't eat a lot. And usually I'll put a lot in my mouth and not swallow it and then stay in a napkin or something.

1:24:38🔗 Adam You guys, you sit down for dinner every night with your parents?

1:24:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:42🔗 Dr. Bruce But you have the altered body image, you have the preoccupation with your weight, probably over exercise.

1:24:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:49🔗 Dr. Bruce And so you're well on the way. So this is a huge problem in this country, and a lot of it has to do with body image and the way it's presented to younger girls. And it has a terrible...

1:25:00🔗 Adam All right. What should she do?

1:25:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Terrible. Well, she's calling us, she's willing to acknowledge that she may be on the way to having a full-blown problem with anorexia. She needs to see somebody. How can she get to see somebody? She's how old? 16. So just see a therapist and work with someone. The recovery rate is not that good as you go further on in time. And Bolivia is much better.

1:25:25🔗 Adam Go to OA, talk to a counselor at school.

1:25:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Talk to a counselor first at school.

1:25:29🔗 Adam All right. Anna?

1:25:31🔗 Yes. Hello.

1:25:32🔗 Adam You're 21. What's up, Perky?

1:25:34🔗 Caller I'm okay. I'm a stripper and I fell in love with my best friend who was my roommate when he was arrested.

1:25:40🔗 Adam All right. You're a stripper. Topless or bottomless?

1:25:46🔗 Caller Actually, usually I only do on stage. I only do topless and then for private dances, I go fully nude.

1:25:53🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:54🔗 Caller Yes.

1:25:55🔗 Adam What state are you calling from?

1:25:56🔗 Caller Oregon.

1:25:57🔗 Adam You got to get out that way. Fully nude for the lap dance.

1:26:02🔗 Caller How much?

1:26:03🔗 Adam Well, how much?

1:26:03🔗 Caller Yeah. $20 and some people give you more. It just kind of depends on.

1:26:08🔗 Adam All right. Now, please help me understand something. I may just be drunk and have an erection, but I swear to Christ, some of those songs have been condensed.

1:26:19🔗 Caller Actually, people tell me that too, but not really. It's just sometimes they're played a little faster.

1:26:26🔗 Adam Oh, OK.

1:26:27🔗 Caller So it seems like it, but.

1:26:28🔗 Adam Well, OK, just as long as there's no foul play.

1:26:32🔗 Dr. Bruce Honesty.

1:26:33🔗 Adam Yeah, listen, that's what I mean. I mean, a four and four minute and ten second song is magically $2.56 now. It'd be pretty drunk to not and my penis is going, what's up? I just $20 on Stairway to Heaven and I got like two fanny shakes and it's done.

1:26:51🔗 Caller Then you can never go wrong with Nine Inch Nails. They always have a really long song.

1:26:55🔗 Adam Yeah, but you guys speed them up. Sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks are covering it. All right. So, OK, so you do that and you fell in love with a guy.

1:27:05🔗 Caller You became my roommate and my best friend.

1:27:08🔗 Adam He was your roommate and your best friend. And what's he in jail for?

1:27:12🔗 Caller He was a drug supplier.

1:27:13🔗 Adam I see. How long is he in jail for?

1:27:17🔗 Caller He's in for one more year and I've been waiting for him and I've waited a year now. Yeah. But my family is just like completely against him and now I've kind of turned away my family for him. And I don't know exactly how to work it.

1:27:35🔗 Adam All right. Well, what's up with your family that you decide to get in a strip in anyway?

1:27:41🔗 Caller See, the strange thing is nothing. My family has been really great.

1:27:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:46🔗 Adam Where's dad?

1:27:47🔗 Caller Dad's at home with mom.

1:27:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Don't you have some issues with men? Some power with men?

1:27:52🔗 Caller I never did before, but now I do.

1:27:54🔗 Adam Yeah. Never before. You love your daddy?

1:27:58🔗 Caller My daddy is the greatest thing in the whole world. I'm a daddy's girl.

1:28:01🔗 Adam And you love your mommy?

1:28:04🔗 Caller Mom and I have always butted heads ever since I was little.

1:28:07🔗 Adam Over attention for daddy?

1:28:09🔗 Caller Over attention in general. I never really got any from her.

1:28:12🔗 Adam Oh, interesting. Because there's always an attention issue that goes on, usually with daddy and strippers.

1:28:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Absolutely. Do you have to do anything to tolerate the stripping? Do you drink or use any substances?

1:28:23🔗 Caller Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm completely straight. I don't drink. I don't do anything.

1:28:27🔗 Adam Your parents know you strip?

1:28:29🔗 Caller Yes, actually. They found out when he was taking a jail. And I said, I'm a stripper. And dad flipped out. And mom was actually the more understanding one, which is very strange.

1:28:38🔗 Adam Yeah. That's gotta be delight for any parent, though. Oh, well, the good news is she's a stripper. I mean, the bad news is she's a stripper. But the good news is, I mean, the bad news is she's waiting for her drug addict boyfriend to get out of prison so they can have drug addict stripper kids. I know. He just sells them. OK, listen, please don't let this guy get you pregnant. You're going to give birth to a moccasin.

1:29:03🔗 Caller No, I'm not that stupid either.

1:29:04🔗 Adam OK, well, listen, you're 21. You shouldn't wait a year for this guy to get out. But who the hell are we to talk you out of it? I mean, you love the guy you correspond with him. You go and visit him in prison.

1:29:15🔗 Caller Yes, I drive actually six hours to visit him.

1:29:18🔗 Adam All right. Here's the reality. This is the best your relationship's ever going to be.

1:29:24🔗 Caller Why?

1:29:24🔗 Adam You know why? Because it's like everything in life. You know the best part of a new car? It's to drive over to the dealership. That's the best part of having that new car. It's driving to the dealership knowing you're going home. It's not when it gets keyed a week later. It's not when you get your parking tickets, not when you get your insurance bill. It's not even the drive home from the dealership when you're worried about getting into an accident or going through a mud puddle. It's too. It's the anticipation that's the best part. Her anticipating this and having him locked in more fantasy, it'll never get better. He'll get out. He'll be beaten on her in three weeks.

1:30:00🔗 Dr. Bruce So Anna has some core issues here and let's get it straight. There's nothing wrong with strippers. They're not bad people.

1:30:05🔗 Adam The world needs them.

1:30:06🔗 Dr. Bruce They have issues and they're in an industry that is inherently abusive and degrading to them.

1:30:11🔗 Adam She's 21.

1:30:12🔗 Dr. Bruce She's saying she has no issues.

1:30:14🔗 Adam Don't get pregnant. Stay with this guy. Screw the family. See what happens. They hate strippers anyway.

1:30:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Go to a therapist and get honest about what's really going on.

1:30:22🔗 Adam All right. Kelly 19. What's up?

1:30:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Hi.

1:30:26🔗 Caller I want to say that I think you're pretty hot, Adam.

1:30:28🔗 Adam Oh, me?

1:30:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Have you seen him?

1:30:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:31🔗 Dr. Bruce A long time ago.

1:30:32🔗 Caller Like on Love Lines before when it was on TV.

1:30:35🔗 Adam Yeah, baby.

1:30:37🔗 Caller I have a weird problem.

1:30:38🔗 Caller It's actually that I more so get really emotional after sex, anything like that.

1:30:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:45🔗 Caller I don't know why.

1:30:46🔗 Adam After orgasm?

1:30:48🔗 Yeah, pretty much.

1:30:49🔗 Adam You cry after orgasm? Yeah. Huh?

1:30:53🔗 Yeah.

1:30:53🔗 Adam Yeah, I do, too. Because it's like the chicks are like, that would be one hundred dollars. I go, oh, come on, baby. No, it only took five minutes. Come on. Give me a break. One hundred dollars.

1:31:06🔗 Dr. Bruce So what's going on with your emotional state? I mean, you're just crying or do you feel real sad or do you feel?

1:31:11🔗 Caller I don't know. It's like I don't. I feel like I'm an emotional person.

1:31:15🔗 Adam All right.

1:31:15🔗 Caller One time when I really.

1:31:17🔗 Adam All right. What do we need to know about you? Ever raped, molested, abused? No uncle did anything weird to you? Daddy didn't wasn't killed in the motorcycle accident when you were four? No. No bannerman, no freakiness? Nobody ever got on top of you and didn't get off of you?

1:31:34🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

1:31:34🔗 Adam No one ever forced you to do anything you didn't want to do?

1:31:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Long term relationships or frequent short term relationships? What are we talking about?

1:31:41🔗 Too long term.

1:31:42🔗 Adam All right. And crying each time?

1:31:45🔗 Every time.

1:31:46🔗 Adam All right. Therapy, therapy and more therapy. We got to take a break. I don't know what this is. I mean, it's connected obviously during her upbringing, but she says everything's great in the past. I don't know why she cries for some women. Women will cry when they're not sad. Women cry at weddings all the time. Women cry at graduations. Women cry at ceremonies. Women will cry with an emotional release. Maybe the release of the orgasm just forces the tears. Maybe they're not tears of sadness.

1:32:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes. These are tip of the iceberg calls. There's more information.

1:32:19🔗 Adam Fantastic. We'll be back. Well, there it is. There you have it. My throat is sore from yelling at Dr. Bruce all night.

1:32:32🔗 Dr. Bruce I want to thank Dr. Drew for coming back.

1:32:34🔗 Adam Dr. Drew, tomorrow night, I want to thank Dr. Bruce for doing a whale of a job. And yes, I stick with whale. Sperm whale of a job. This whole week and part of last week, filling in for the inept and lazy Dr. Drew who will take a verbal beating when he comes in. Oh, rest assured. All right, so thanks, Bruce, always a pleasure.

1:32:54🔗 Dr. Bruce Anytime. I'll be back.

1:32:57🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm sure you will. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for the dearly departed Dr. Bruce saying mahalo. 97 out of the last 110 guys I tried to blow in the last six month period, my jaw stuck open.

1:33:11🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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