3:19🔗
This is Outrageous Talk Radio, KUBC, CS 100.7, The Buzz.
3:45🔗
Voiceover
Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist. Oh, thank God I can do that ramp of my sleep.
4:02🔗
Shawnee Smith
You know what would be nice, Adam, is if you could explain to our guests what our show is all about before we throw up in the mics. Watch, I'm trying to go up.
4:12🔗
Adam
Shani Smith is our guest tonight. You know her from her role in Becker. She's Ted's assistant, Linda, and Becker 930 Monday Nights, CBS, on its third or fourth season.
4:39🔗
Adam
For the mailbox, as long as you can get to the mailbox and hammer those checks, you're fine. That is good times. Also, Shani was in Armageddon. What was your role in Armageddon?
4:52🔗
Drew
Are you ready? I'm glad you're sitting down. I was bimbo at the bar. On my trailer, I got there that morning and I had a little piece of tape on the trailer that said bimbo.
5:05🔗
Adam
At the bar that the guys from the Roughnecks, from Armageddon, like went to before they headed out?
5:13🔗
Drew
It was that big montage where they were collecting the big strapping guys that went out into space and Steve Buscemi was telling me my diamond was fake.
5:26🔗
Adam
That's the part of those ensemble movies I like, when they go out and get the experts. And here's the thing about the guys, you know, it's like he's drunk, he's antisocial, he's in jail right now, but he's the best god damn demolition man there is. And we work with him. He's reliable. We work with him. So we gotta go get him.
5:51🔗
Adam
Steve Buscemi can throw knives. We gotta go get him. Ever since the Dirty Dozen laid the groundwork for this sort of ensemble, everyone's good.
6:01🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's never one guy who's good at two things. Where one guy could be eliminated. Hey, I can throw knives and do a demolition. Herb, you're out.
6:11🔗
Adam
No, they're just bad antisocial guys. They put them all together and put them in a rocket ship. They got a mission to do and they got to come together to do it. All right, so also Leaving Las Vegas, which was a great movie.
6:29🔗
Adam
He didn't, but I say this to Drew all the time. There is a list as long as a landing strip at LAX of movies that Drew has not seen.
6:46🔗
Adam
I love The Shining and I say to Drew, and no one understands this, but I go, you're very lucky. Everyone goes, what are you talking about? Because I've seen The Shining eight times and I can't really enjoy it anymore because I know exactly what's going to happen at each turn. Drew, you could get yourself a nice bottle of red wine, a tub of popcorn, a DVD of The Shining and sit home one Saturday night and really enjoy that movie for the first time.
7:13🔗
Shawnee Smith
I would have to be though literally a millionaire like you and sit in a home theater that I have. I don't have anything like that.
7:22🔗
Adam
You got a TV that also has an eight track player in it or something? Yeah. Well, that's bad times.
7:36🔗
Adam
I was cruising a Salvation Army thrift store yesterday, and I haven't been in a thrift shop in a while. And you know you're getting old when you're going to the computer section in the thrift store. Wow. And you're seeing, you know, DVD and laser disc and junked equipment like we would have seen. The equivalent to this would have been like a Victrola or an old eight track or something we would have stumbled across 15, 20 years ago. Wow. There are actually tons of VCRs. There are tons of DVDs. There's like a there's a whole computer section in thrift stores now.
8:15🔗
That's nuts. Yeah.
8:18🔗
Adam
Didn't go to the hovercraft section. But anyway, Shani, are you ready? You know, you know, you know this show. Do you know how the show works?
8:39🔗
Adam
That's us. We're actors, right? Playing people who care. That's exactly right. Alex, you're 20. What's up?
8:48🔗
Caller
I got this girlfriend that I've been dating for a while and she's now currently living with me and come to find out through my cousin's girlfriend. She has a friend that works with this girl. Come to find out the girl's like somewhere between 29 and 31.
9:36🔗
Caller
Within the last two months, she's been controlling all my phone calls, my cellular phone. She checks all the messages I get on there. My internet, she checks all the emails I get. Yeah. She checks all the messages on my pages.
9:56🔗
Caller
Not on her. I mean, there's nothing about my past that she needs to know about or does know about.
10:12🔗
Caller
And then come to find out about two, three weeks ago, I found out, you know, that her age is not what she told me.
10:19🔗
Adam
Right. Well, when you went to the mailbox, saw that Social Security check in there, you were immediately alerted to her real age. Tripped over a walker on the way to the mailbox.
10:30🔗
Adam
The Meals on Wheels van was out there honking the horn. Hi. Detective Alex. Alex, why'd you move in? You didn't know anything about her.
10:43🔗
Adam
Well, that explains it. I lived with my sister once. It means we got to move in together too.
10:57🔗
Caller
That is. I mean, I don't know the full story. They say she wasn't helping out around or nothing.
11:29🔗
Shawnee Smith
Alex, look. Look, you just set some limits. Be firm. If it doesn't work out, then the relationship doesn't work.
11:39🔗
Shawnee Smith
But don't back battle, but enjoy the sex while she's there and don't get violent aggressive. That's ridiculous. I mean, she doesn't deserve that either. I get strong a whole vibe.
11:51🔗
Adam
Why? Just because he wants to put a bullet in his girlfriend's head? Because she's checking his cell phone.
12:25🔗
Adam
Yeah. I was talking to him tonight. He said, you're a real handful. A real ball of fire. He liked you.
12:39🔗
Caller
Okay. Well, I had this sex ed class and the teacher told me that or she told the whole class that if a guy fingered you with the slightest bit of semen on his hand, it was possible for you to get pregnant. I just want to know, is that true? Hello.
12:53🔗
Shawnee Smith
Yeah. However, the semen gets there. But most guys, since they walk around with semen on their hands, are.
13:00🔗
Caller
Okay. My boyfriend, my boyfriend, I stroke it for him and he got some on his hand, but he wiped it off and then he figured me, could it be possible that I might get pregnant from that?
13:14🔗
Adam
This is something you have to bring up with your priest or rabbi. You were stroking him, you got some goo on your hand, then he fingered you. See, that's why when I'm with the ladies, I do this move. I take the hand, I put it in the opposite armpit and I do that wipe move. It's a class move.
13:32🔗
Adam
Sometimes it does on its own. It's never intentional, but it lets the ladies know that I care enough to wipe before I give them the finger.
13:46🔗
Shawnee Smith
All right, so you know you're not ready for that. And it would be sort of awful if you got pregnant sort of accidentally.
14:03🔗
Adam
If you got pregnant because this guy gave you the finger, this child is going to be... this is the next Messiah.
14:28🔗
Adam
No, Shawnee is right because most guys, when they're done with that, that's it for the night.
14:43🔗
Yeah?
14:48🔗
Okay. All right.
15:00🔗
I don't know. Like a little bit more than 15 minutes, I guess.
15:06🔗
Adam
That's a decent technique, though, on your hand......behave. I don't think... I've never been stroked off by another, I'm proud to say.
15:25🔗
Caller
My, uh, stroked off by another, feel like a fool. Loving both of you is breaking all the rules.
15:36🔗
Adam
Excuse me. I don't think someone else could do it. I think it would be too confusing for my penis. I wouldn't mind letting them try, but I think eventually I'd have to jump in.
16:14🔗
It gets better.
16:18🔗
Yeah.
16:25🔗
I don't have any right now.
16:36🔗
And that's about it. That's the hard part.
16:43🔗
No, I didn't. I was just wondering. My grandmother was thinking that young people don't get it.
16:53🔗
Depo-Provera.
17:02🔗
And we decided that's not what it was from.
17:04🔗
Shawnee Smith
That's possible it is. And before you started taking Depo, were your periods irregular?
17:09🔗
No. Not very irregular.
17:26🔗
Shawnee Smith
Let me give you a tip on fibromyalgia. In my opinion, in my humble opinion, that is a sleep disorder.
17:33🔗
Well, I'm starting to take melatonin.
17:35🔗
Shawnee Smith
Alright, but I'm telling you, you've got to focus on sleep hygiene. Make sure you have adequate sleep. Make sure the kind of sleep you get is proper. Anyone who doubts that, try not getting sleep even for about a couple of weeks and see how your bones ache.
17:49🔗
Sleep deprivation is not fun.
17:50🔗
Shawnee Smith
Yeah, and you may be sleeping eight hours, but the kind of sleep may be not restorative and be such that it predisposes you to the fibromyalgia. So please take a look at that. How do you get proper sleep? It depends on the cause of the sleep disturbance. Whether or not it's getting up and urinating frequently, you have a partner that thrashes around all night, you're depressed, whatever it is, the sleep is disturbed.
18:27🔗
Shawnee Smith
Sometimes, that's a good advice, but sometimes some of the antidepressants that are sort of good for sleep hygiene are useful, like Trazodone or Serizone.
18:35🔗
I've been extremely unlucky in finding a good antidepressant.
18:41🔗
I've tried Wilbutrin, Remeron, Depakine. I also have a ton of problems. I have manic depression also.
18:49🔗
Shawnee Smith
Yeah, I hear that. Manic depressive do get chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia real, real commonly.
19:09🔗
Cook, clean, take care of my cats, trying to get a job.
19:14🔗
Yes.
19:19🔗
Five-five or five-six.
19:21🔗
Adam
You're fat. Oh, hey, hey, listen, it's funny. Whenever whenever I hear, tend to my cats, it's like I had 50 pounds for whatever I was picturing. It's like cha-ching. You have, how many cats? Two cats? It's a hundred pounds. Tend to the cats. Listen, let me tell you the cats, you should be tending to the nice young men at the local watering hole. Those are the cats you should be swinging with. Forget about your, your calico.
19:54🔗
I go out, but it's, when I go out, my friends want to go out to clubs and drink and they're not very supportive of everything I get.
20:03🔗
Huh?
20:07🔗
I can't keep up with them.
20:12🔗
No.
20:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, sometimes you gotta break through. You hit that wall, you gotta keep pushing. That's what I did.
20:31🔗
Adam
You know what living's like? It's like traveling. You know, your first couple of trips to the airport and you get on the plane and you don't know where your eye shade is and you forgot your earplugs, you didn't bring your portable CD player.
20:47🔗
Adam
Now, I really, I went from not knowing, you know, which one was my ticket and where it was and what, what I should check and what I shouldn't check to getting the captain of the plane to sort through my mixed nuts and pick out the peanuts.
21:03🔗
You are an asshole.
21:04🔗
Adam
Yes. He actually separated the pretzel sticks from the smoked almonds for me. That's quite a move up. Talk about a learning curve.
21:15🔗
Adam
I'm proud of myself. But life is that way too. It's true. You know, like here's what I want to say to everybody. Get a can opener that feels good in your hand. It's worth it. You know what I mean? They make those Buck 99 can openers that hurt your hands when you use them and use them five times a week.
21:44🔗
Adam
Yeah, you know, buy, go ahead and buy yourself three or four nail clippers. Throw one in the car. You'll never be without them. They're 99 cents.
21:54🔗
Adam
Buy an extra stick of deodorant and toss that in the trunk of the car too. Do you know what I mean? Live it up a little.
22:01🔗
Adam
That's right. Put the cats in the microwave and put the nail clippers in the glove box and live it up. It does. Because it takes... I'm going to write a book on how to live. Go ahead. From the comfort and safety of my own basement. Everyone listen to me. It's something that... I drove a truck for many years that needed to be bump started. I had to push it every morning. The cranks on the windows were broken off. The windows were half up. I had to use a pair of vice grips to get the windows up and down.
22:35🔗
Adam
Yeah, thank God it was 115 degrees in the summer and 22 degrees during the winter. It really worked out for me. The point is, it took many years for me to realize I needed a car that actually had cranks on it and that I could turn a key in and would start. And same, like I said, with the can opener. Go ahead, everybody. Treat yourself right.
22:55🔗
Drew
Well, there's a thing, though, with women. Like we're not... Like men aren't allowed to express their feelings. Women aren't allowed to enjoy themselves, have fun, indulge. And it takes...
23:29🔗
Adam
Well, that is true. They don't do that as much. One of the problems is that women don't like their own. So they got no one to have fun with. And then there's guys and guys don't like hanging out with them. So they're screwed. They don't have buddies. See what I mean? If women, see guys have a good time because here's what guys do. They want to blow off some steam. They want to have a good time. They get 10 of them together. They go play paintball and they scream for three hours out in some fields shooting each other. They have a great time.
23:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, women pick up the phone and complain about the other friend of theirs who ain't on the line. But here's the thing about women I've thought about in the spa. There's the 95% of women who should go to the spa who don't and then there's the 5% who go all the time and always talk about why they need to go again when really the only thing they're tired from is driving back from the spa.
24:26🔗
Adam
And they'll sit around too and it's funny, people don't go to the spa. When women go to the spa, they feel as if they need to justify it a little bit. They go, oh man, I couldn't, this holiday season has been, I couldn't, first, first it was grinding of the nutmeg and then I put a wreath on the door and I need.
24:47🔗
Adam
I need the spa. You never hear guys talking about needing to go to the spa unless something happened like they rolled their jeep or something like that. But women, it's.
25:00🔗
Adam
They don't, they don't. But I do agree with Shawnee that you women need to love each other a little more, get together in a group.
25:12🔗
Adam
No, it is, it is because let me tell you something about having fun and blowing off steam.
25:16🔗
Adam
I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you an amazing example of having fun and blowing off steam. This weekend, here's what I got going for myself.
25:26🔗
Adam
This coming weekend, I have the auto show on Friday night. And then Saturday, it's the Super Bowl of Motocross in Anaheim. Tickets still available. Now, I'm going to pack up a car full of my idiot buddies from the Valley. And we're humping it out to Anaheim. And we're going to go chug some beers and watch these guys try to kill themselves on the dirt bikes. And it's going to be the greatest time ever. I got a boner for it already.
25:53🔗
Shawnee Smith
Humans, humans, we're not meant to have that much fun. Humans weren't meant for that.
26:00🔗
Adam
See, Drew doesn't understand this because he's a chick. And he don't get it up for guy stuff.
26:14🔗
Adam
We don't care. They're going to be individually sitting in their own crappy places and complaining that we're out.
26:24🔗
Adam
Yes. You women need to band together and go out and have a good time yourselves. See? See, Drew, if your wife would go out and have some fun with her chick friends, then maybe you could get out and have some fun with your guy friends. But you don't really have any guy friends. You're just a bunch of guys with ascots talking about the day trading and things like that.
26:44🔗
Adam
I'm telling you, I'm so pumped up about this auto show and the Super Bowl of Motocross. I mean, it's like a one, two.
26:50🔗
Shawnee Smith
Yeah. I noticed you didn't invite me to the auto show. That's something I would have liked.
26:56🔗
Adam
Yeah. Good times. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Shawnee Smith is our guest tonight from Becker. CBS, Monday nights at nine thirty. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.
27:08🔗
You know what I'm saying, Adam?
27:43🔗
Adam
Yep, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Shawnee Smith is our guest tonight. She's from Becker. 9.30, Monday nights, CBS. One more series, one more season, and they're in the syndication, and that is good times. I did want to say, actually, talking about this Super, Supercross, and Jeremy McGrath, the king of Supercross, is gonna be in, he was gonna be in, yesterday, and settle over there, baby. But now he's gonna come in next week, because I got a whole bunch of dates over in Anaheim, but I'm gonna be at the Anaheim Stadium, coming up, what do they call it now? It's not the Anaheim Stadium anymore, it's the Edison Field, yeah. The Edison Field this Saturday. I'll be the drunk guy with my shirt pulled up, showing everyone my boobs.
28:40🔗
Adam
Oh, I love that. Yikes. I love it. I love it. I'll go, I get in the pit area and I start talking to the head mechanic about the bikes and stuff and bugging him, driving everyone nuts, drinking beer. Oh, it's great. I love it.
29:25🔗
Drew
I have a band called Phi Dollar Ho, spelled phonetically, F-Y-D-O-L-L-A-H-O. And Johnny, if you're running tonight, stop. You're sick. Because we're playing at House of Blues on Sunday.
29:53🔗
Drew
Well, it just started going, but it so happens that a girlfriend I went to junior high with was the head cocktail waitress and I was ready to like, you know, really roll everybody up and she started trying to like, like definitely tone everybody down and tell them to stop. So being the non-competitive female that I am, I didn't encourage it, but it was pretty, it was definitely a momentous occasion.
30:26🔗
Adam
Some mosh capital of the strip there. All right. I think actually we're going to hear a snippet from one of your songs. At some point in the show, I don't know if it's now, I know Anderson was yelling something in your ear, Drew.
30:43🔗
Adam
Yeah. You want to hear some of it now, or do you want to hear it coming back from the commercial, going in, or now? No.
32:20🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something about Pat Benatar's Hell is for Children. That is my new karaoke number.
32:44🔗
Adam
I mean, I really I mean, the audience tears are coming from their eyes and blood from their ears. By the time I'm done with Hell is for Children. Justina, Justina, Oh, me, Justina.
33:12🔗
I can't take it, Adam.
33:17🔗
Caller
Well, a while ago, my brother was in his bedroom and my best friend was spending the night. And well, we heard some squeaking from his bed and he started screaming at her name. And now my best friend is afraid to come over.
33:44🔗
Caller
Well, I don't know. Now she's afraid to come over and that's not the only time it's happened.
34:16🔗
Caller
Well, let's put it this way. I'm the youngest and everyone older than me is living at home.
34:37🔗
Adam
Really? Well, that's probably the Italian side that's still living at home. What's he do for a living?
35:09🔗
Adam
That whole jacking off, yelling out someone's name business is just something from bad 80s movies. But no guy ever does that. No guy ever yells, I'm coming, and no guy ever yells out the name of some girlfriend. Listen, you're tight lipped. I keep my mouth shut. I'm scared something's going to land in it. You know what I mean? I don't want to taste myself. You know what I'm saying, Drew?
35:35🔗
Yeah. Oh, no.
35:41🔗
I know.
35:55🔗
Adam
It is a it is a spin of the sperm roulette wheel. Every time you take your penis in your own hand, manchow bed here. It really is because sometimes the stuff dribbles out like a bird just cramped on your belly. And sometimes the stuff goes bouncing off the wall behind your head. You just never know.
36:36🔗
Drew
How does that happen if you don't have another woman who understands the multiple orgasms so much, she spends the time?
36:47🔗
Drew
Well, I never heard of a straight friend saying, you know, you can projectile orgasm just like a guy.
36:56🔗
Adam
Let me tell you some about women in actually having a physical orgasm where something comes out of them. 97% of women can't do it. But the 3% who can are doing it for the other 97%.
37:18🔗
Shawnee Smith
I've got a little point to make, that's all. I thought you made your point. Go ahead and make your next point.
37:43🔗
Shawnee Smith
They don't do it all the time. Some of them claim it's just a physical phenomenon. We spent a whole show interviewing just those women. And some of them said it was sometimes it was bigger when it happened, sometimes it didn't make any difference, then it would just happen. Others claim they had it all the time, some have never had it.
38:06🔗
Shawnee Smith
And most of them were not with oral sex, remember? Most of them were during intercourse.
38:20🔗
Adam
And they do the first time, but by 135, it's getting a little old. Nicole? Hey, goofball, what's up? You're 15.
38:59🔗
I mean.
39:53🔗
Adam
All right. We attempt to help young people who have questions about sometimes intimate problems, but other times just questions that mostly have to do with growing up and being teenagers. You know what I mean? Same questions you had when you were 15, I'm sure. So how old are you?
40:21🔗
All right.
40:24🔗
All right.
40:25🔗
.you guys are showing. You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.
40:47🔗
Shawnee Smith
Hey, look, that's a compensation, though, for the fact that she had a baby when she was 15 or 16.
40:54🔗
Shawnee Smith
And now she's hell bent on... But now, if Nicole's problem was real, that mom needs to know what's going on with Nicole, because that's some heavy...
41:04🔗
Shawnee Smith
No, she has some... She didn't say it. I'm not going to repeat it here. What was on the screen was some very, very heavy stuff.
41:12🔗
Shawnee Smith
If mom's busy compensating and denying it, she's going to miss this kid's need for dialogue.
41:21🔗
Adam
Here's the deal. Nicole's problems, and poor Nicole is sitting home with mom next to the radio listening to this, I'm sure. Nicole, if you drink, now's the time to have a shot. Nicole is 15, attracted to older guys. Was that the problem? And into a few things with those older guys, 15 year old gals should not be into.
41:51🔗
Adam
Her mom would like to turn a deaf ear to it, and that's fine. And here's my point, Drew. I'd like to talk to people and see if we can help them, but I'm not going to talk them into it. So if they don't want any help, or they want to, you know, go read the Bible and lock the door. Fine. Have fun. Enjoy.
42:10🔗
Adam
I'm going to be at the Super Bowl of Motocross drunk on Saturday, laughing my ass off while you try to raise your wild daughter. So enjoy. We'll take ourselves a little break.
42:54🔗
Adam
Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, and that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Shawnee Smith is our guest tonight. She's the kooky one from Becker. 930, Monday Nights, CBS. Year, or I should say season number three. What's that on, after Everyone Loves Raymond?
43:18🔗
Drew
But nobody knows that Ted Danson actually got nominated, too, for Golden Globe this year.
43:23🔗
Drew
Best actor. Yeah, CBS doesn't want anyone to know, but I'm letting the cat out of the bag.
43:45🔗
Adam
I don't know. We do? We work for CBS? We do. All right. Well, that's why we don't get any attention. Here's the thing, though.
43:52🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something about this stealth TV show and radio show and all this stuff. There are plenty of TV shows out there that get a lot of attention. They get a spotlight. Some of them are good like Sports Night or whatever, and they get a lot of press and they get a lot of talk and whatever, and then they're gone in three months and they're never heard of again. There's a long list of these shows and I can't remember them right now because they're only around for three months. And then there are shows that are just around and people are, they know the name, but they're not on the cover of TV Guide. You don't hear them talked about on Entertainment Tonight. They don't get much press, but here's the thing.
44:32🔗
Shawnee Smith
I think that's good. Those are TV shows that people like, not the people TV like.
44:38🔗
Drew
A part of us are like a bit nervous if the cat ever got out that the show is on the air and stuff because we like are off in top 10. We're like the top three comedy, but we never ever get mentioned.
44:58🔗
Adam
My point is I treat this show like an employee and the boss is CBS and your office is very far away from the boss's office and he doesn't come to your side of the factory very often.
45:15🔗
Adam
And you'll never get fired because he doesn't know you're there as opposed to the guy who's always in the boss's office but is always giving ideas to the boss. The boss could not like one of the ideas and fire the guy. I mean there's shows and I don't want to compare you to Full House but here goes. There's a lot of shows out there like Full House like Suzanne Summers and Patrick Devon. That show ran for like eight or nine years. No one even knew it was on the air. I think if someone would have found out it was on the air would have been canceled. I think if they would have went to that.
45:49🔗
Adam
I know. No, this, I think if someone would have found out that Full House and then not Full House but what the hell was that? Maybe it was Full House, just the nine of us, whatever that Suzanne Summer, Patrick Duffy.
46:02🔗
Adam
TGI. Friday. No, not she's the sheriff. No, they found out about that and canceled. What I'm saying is I have a theory that there's step-by-step. Who put that in your ear, Drew? Because that wasn't you.
46:19🔗
Adam
All right. Step-by-step. The point is, I don't think ABC knew step-by-step was on the air. For at least six of the eight years it was on, if they would have found out about it, someone would have canceled it. You see what I'm saying?
46:36🔗
Adam
You guys are actually a good show. So it sounds like I'm insulting you. All I'm saying is-
46:43🔗
Adam
Keep your low profile, make it to season number four, and laugh all the way to the bank with the syndication.
46:52🔗
Adam
Don't go into the office of the programmer and start stirring things up. He could focus his attention on you. Next thing you know, he decides he doesn't like the show and cancels you. That's what I'm saying.
47:15🔗
Adam
You tell Ted if he wins that Golden Globe to send an Indian up there to accept. I don't want to see him up there. Danielle?
47:47🔗
Caller
I was raped three times over the summer. And ever since then, like, all I want is sex.
47:57🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, one of the times was it was statutory. It was consensual and all, but it was statutory.
48:10🔗
Caller
One of the times was also the same night with the 21-year-old, but the other one, I had to go to a-
49:46🔗
Sleeping.
49:53🔗
Caller
Well, I've lived with these people all my life, but I was three. They're really my in uncle.
49:59🔗
Adam
Okay. So when you're torn out of the family at three, that means there's some serious chaos going on there.
50:44🔗
Adam
We're going to take ourselves a little break. We're going to get back with Danielle over here and sort out her miserable life after this. Loveline, Fast-Growing Outlaw Radio Show in Southern California and the world. Oh yeah, and the nation. All right, yeah, I kind of dropped the ball on that one. Shawnee Smith is our guest tonight. She's from Becker, the Golden Globe-nominated Becker.
51:40🔗
Adam
9.30, Monday nights, CBS. What is this, his 19th nomination? The guy's been nominated for a few Golden Globes in his day, hasn't he?
51:51🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, I told him like his ass-kissing has raised up now since he's been nominated, but if he loses, like it's going to go down further than where it started.
52:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, but I think he's been nominated a lot more times than he's... I don't know what it is, man. I think the guy is a brilliant actor and especially like the genre that he does.
52:15🔗
Adam
I don't see him on the talk show circuit too often. Am I missing him or am I right about that? I don't know, man.
52:23🔗
Drew
Is he kind of a private guy? Like I said to him all the time, like you should be on the cover of, like you should be doing sexy covers of magazines.
52:35🔗
Drew
Well, you know, he had all those years on Cheers and I think he's kind of been there, done that. But I think he would do it again. But I don't know, like people around him are lying to him, saying people don't. He says to me, oh, they don't want me, blah, blah. I'm like, how can that? Like I just don't buy it. So whoever wants Ted out there, just give him a call and say, Shawnee said to call.
52:56🔗
Adam
Well, it may be just that I haven't caught him, but I don't. He seems to keep a fairly low profile for a guy who's fairly well known and the star of a sitcom that's on prime time. I mean, maybe it's just keeping with the pattern and theme of the whole show that he's getting passed over and not getting the recognition he deserves. But I don't see the guy on the magazine covers. I don't see him on the Tonight Show. I just don't see him around.
53:29🔗
Drew
Well, that'll be our first test. You know, we'll see, like, if they're not asking or if he's turning him down.
53:48🔗
Adam
Oh, you can't talk to him tonight. You'll see him at six thirty tomorrow morning. And it's a ways off. That's what it would be like seven and a half hours away. When you see him tomorrow, tell him we'd love to have him on the show.
54:09🔗
Adam
I like I like people. I like it's the people I don't trust are the people that are coming out with their own waffle makers on on on the on the hawk, your junk channel and the people that are writing books that no one cares about and that kind of stuff. Yeah, like us. All right. Dan. Yeah, like Drew. Daniel. All right. So you're 15. You you you've been getting raped quite a bit. The summer chock full of rape.
54:39🔗
Adam
Yes. You come from this horrible family. You're into substance abuse. And where are you living now? Are you back home?
54:59🔗
Shawnee Smith
You really need to look into some recovery, right? Some addiction treatment. You need to do that. And realize that, I was telling Shawnee during the break, that what happens when somebody has the sort of usual fabric of safety of the normal social structure ripped away and they're rendered completely powerless in some sort of traumatizing situation, the arousal of that etches into the brain, a pattern that caused them to go out to try to master that by reenacting it over and over and over again. And so, while this awful rape thing was, you know, something you would ultimately avoid, the acknowledgement of the powerlessness is more painful than actually pushing that away by trying to master it by repeatedly engaging in the same behavior.
55:43🔗
Drew
Well, like, simply put, like, if you follow your feelings and where your feelings kind of naturally take you, you're gonna, like, they're just gonna kind of keep leading you down the same road and if you check out some, maybe, some recovery things, they might give you some different tools which will feel totally weird at the time and, like, foreign and not as arousing as what you know, which is what you're repeating.
56:08🔗
Shawnee Smith
And the arousal is where the attraction is, but you know you have that little voice inside you that goes, jeez, why am I doing this? This is not right for me. That's your real instinct. That's really where you want to be. And the attractions and the arousals associated with that is all just side effect from having been traumatized so badly.
56:31🔗
Shawnee Smith
Well, why don't you get with this? You've got lots of treatment at your disposal. Get with it.
56:46🔗
Shawnee Smith
No, no, that's what's common to blame yourself. Again, it's avoiding the powerlessness. It's more or less painful to take responsibility for these things that you had no control over. A guy ran into your room when you were in the hospital and raped you. Somebody put something in your drink and raped you.
57:03🔗
Shawnee Smith
No, no, no, no. But these were random things that were not her responsibility. The point is, rather than experience the powerlessness, which is the more painful issue, you should rather say, no, it's my fault.
57:17🔗
Adam
Well, let's work with her logic and say, don't put yourself there anymore. Can you do that?
57:21🔗
Drew
Well, you're not thinking... Your mind's not functioning logically when your brain and this like feeling or sensation is overpowering, especially when you're so young. I mean, it seems like until you get sick and tired of ending up in the same place enough, are you willing to like do behave differently or try different things that are totally new that just aren't familiar, like seems like human beings are creatures of habit and we like what's from what we know, even if it sucks and it hurts.
57:51🔗
Caller
Okay, but see, you have to realize this is really hard for me. The medicine that I'm taking, none of it works for me.
57:57🔗
Adam
Yeah, all right. Well, why don't you talk to your counselor, your psychiatrist about that and see if you can get it adjusted.
58:12🔗
Adam
I mean, here's the deal, because we're out of time and I'm going to close this up by saying this. Danny, I've talked to a thousand of you in the five years I've been here and the future is not bright unless you really make some effort to make some change. Going on instinct and just kind of floating with the flow, the way the wind blows, it's going to blow you right into hell. You understand? You're going to have to work and it's sad.
58:39🔗
Drew
Not the way the wind blows you, but the way every feeling in your body and mind is driving you to go.
58:49🔗
Adam
What I'm saying is, is because of your past, and I'm sorry to happen to you, but it does happen to people, you're going to have to work harder than most people in order to have the kind of life that they didn't seem to have to work so hard for.
59:04🔗
Adam
It's going to be a full time job for you to stay out of trouble, to stay straight, to not get loaded, to not get raped, to not get pregnant. It's going to be an effort. But you know what? You have no alternative. That is it. It's either that or be, you know, pregnant junkie at 16. So, you're in the hands of some people who can help you. Let them help you and work with it. That's it. It's going to be slow, but you're 15, you're young, you started early, you can still have a great life, all right? But you got to work. I mean, let me, you know, this is the way life is in many, many respects. I mean, there's some people that don't start off with all the advantages. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes it's mental or emotional. And for those people where sometimes reading doesn't come easy to people, sometimes...
59:54🔗
Adam
Now I'm getting cathartic. Math doesn't come easy to some people. Some people have difficulty. They're not the smartest, they're not the tallest, they're not the best looking. There's some people that eat half a baked potato and put on 20 pounds. Those people... And then there's some people that go to Carl's Jr. stick their head in the deep fryer and don't put on an ounce. The people that put the weight on are going to have to work. They got to work harder. That's it. It'll probably make you a better person in many ways. But you're going to have to work at it. All right. Alex, I'm going to go home and check off a nap after this, by the way.
1:00:45🔗
Caller
It's like I think I'm attracted to guys, but I want to be straight because all my friends are straight, you know?
1:00:58🔗
Because.
1:01:26🔗
Adam
When a guy's wearing like a leather cap, and he's corn holing another young gent. You've seen those?
1:01:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Fantastic. It's art. It really is what it is. I don't look at it as pornography. I look at it as an expression of art and love.
1:01:45🔗
Adam
Sure. Alex, you ever get on the Internet and look at, you know, guys doing stuff to guys? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So that's probably what you're into.
1:02:17🔗
Shawnee Smith
But also no feeling. And this is a very painful thing for a young guy to deal with.
1:02:22🔗
Shawnee Smith
No, which is, gee, I want to be heterosexual. I expect to be heterosexual. I'm ashamed of these same sex feelings I'm having. I would, I want to wish them away. How do I deal with this? And most guys at 15...
1:02:35🔗
Adam
Anderson, put that on a cart, by the way, if you could, about Drew wishing he was heterosexual and wishing he wasn't attracted to men. Yeah, go ahead and mark that one down.
1:02:44🔗
Shawnee Smith
And most guys who are calling with that will call with, how do I wish that away? How do I make that go away? Because they still cling to a belief that they can. And just grappling with that is a very painful process. And what most, I recommend most kids that age, whether male or female, dealing with same sex orientation, is get in touch with the Gay and Lesbian Youth Center in your area and deal with people who've been through this so you can get some support with what it's like as you sort of dig through this experience. All right.
1:03:18🔗
Yes.
1:03:23🔗
Caller
And I'm kind of worried about testicular cancer a little bit. I've kind of had like a, I think it's called the vast difference from what I learned in health class.
1:03:39🔗
Caller
Sometimes it kind of feels like it's swollen a little bit and then it kind of goes down, but it's just like really, really sensitive, kind of like really big in circumference, like a big cord running from my testicle.
1:03:59🔗
Shawnee Smith
You probably have Epididymitis, which is inflammation of the cap that sits on top of the test, and the somatic cord will thicken and get inflamed in the reaction of that. But you need to see a doctor. I don't know why you're messing around with this on your own without letting someone take a look at it and treat it.
1:04:28🔗
Adam
Which makes him a genius. By the way, if any of you want to be labeled with the genius tag, all you have to do is proclaim me a genius or a savior and I'll immediately label you a genius. You see how easy it is? Well, go ahead, Drew.
1:04:56🔗
Shawnee Smith
No, just in general, it frustrates me when people do their own, I mean, do their own care, you know, do their own health care. So what are you waiting for? You have a problem?
1:05:07🔗
Adam
But understand when you're a teenager and there has to do with your nether regions and you're a little bit tentative about having somebody take a look at that area, you'd like to sort of suss it out for yourself, like the time I lanced the carbuncle on my anus.
1:05:40🔗
Adam
Carbuncle is one of those words that's like slinky. You know what it means just by the word.
1:06:09🔗
Caller
Okay, well, I can't talk that loudly because my parents are in the other room. And I like sleeping.
1:06:21🔗
Caller
Well, people are sexually harassing me and like, like offering money to like give them BTs and why?
1:06:55🔗
Shawnee Smith
I see. So the fact that you did that is something that sort of made you the object of these guys' ridicule, huh?
1:07:15🔗
Drew
Let me tell you something about men. You tell one, they can't wait to tell the next, tell the next, tell the next, tell the next.
1:07:32🔗
Shawnee Smith
But imagine how awful that would feel, 13. Your whole school is objectifying you and treating you like crap for something you...
1:07:45🔗
Adam
Thank you. Jessica? Here's the deal. The good news is there's probably plenty other gals at the school who have been handing these out, too, if I know America today. So it's not like you're the only one who's done it.
1:08:31🔗
Caller
Yeah, Adam. It says Adam Corolla, Loveline. And you and Dr. Drew are like all over and like, oh my God, I love you so much.
1:09:05🔗
Adam
Do you spell it C-O-R or C-A-R? Cause a lot of people misspell it. Yeah. See it's C-A-R.
1:09:22🔗
Caller
And I have the picture like, it's like a passion picture and it has a kiss on it. Like.
1:09:37🔗
Caller
No, I thought it was an unofficial or something. My friend Sasha called because she's bulimic and she told you to say hi to me. And you did. And I was like freaking out that whole week.
1:09:51🔗
Adam
Here's the deal. These guys are like seeds and they need watering. And if you don't water them, they'll never grow. They dry up. And blow away. So, just just keep walking with the references. Yes, blow away. They'll just just keep walking and just keep looking forward and just stare at the name of your God and Savior, which is on the front of your notebook as you walk and hold it next to your bosom as you walk down the hall and gain strength from now. Do you? Good.
1:10:37🔗
Adam
Okay. You're going to be 14 in February because 13 is a little... When are you going to be 14?
1:11:04🔗
Adam
Now listen, don't give oral sex to anybody until you see me. Okay. Well, no, I don't mean she was going to perform on me. I just meant in that time period.
1:11:20🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, being on someone's notebook means you've arrived. It really does. I really feel good about that. Because I remember...
1:11:37🔗
Adam
No, that's when you were 13. Now they had like Tull and Zeppelin and Aerosmith, and that's what they would write. And then once in a while, you might get like a chick with a Leif Garrett or something like that. Right?
1:11:53🔗
Adam
Well, you went to a different kind of school than I did. You had like Bella Abzug written on your... on your notebook. Then she drove ahead of your crowd you ran with, right?
1:12:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, people can't talk tonight. It's great. Like, they're all calling and the awarding is coming down the hallway.
1:12:34🔗
Adam
Jimmy was right about you. He had a good feeling about you. She's from Becker. That is 9.30 on Monday night, CBS. Don't tell anyone about it.
1:13:19🔗
Adam
It's Loveline and Pearl Duck Drew over there. Shawnee Smith is our guest of night. She's from Becker. She plays Becker's assistant at the office there, the contangorous Ted Danson. Who's up for another Golden Globe, by the way, but nobody cares. Ted will be on the show next week, though, when Shawnee weaves her magic tomorrow morning by convincing him to come on the show and make a rare appearance, right?
1:13:46🔗
Adam
9.30 on who's who would be handing, who would the favor be? Will that be you providing a favor?
1:13:57🔗
Adam
9.30 Monday nights, CBS. You can also find Shawnee in her band, Five Dollar Ho. Five Dollar Ho?
1:14:06🔗
Adam
Five Dollar Ho. www. That would be Sunday night at the House of Blues 9.30 too, right?
1:14:33🔗
Adam
All righty. All right there, Druski. I know there's some, I think there's some, like, unofficial Loveline websites and the fame things, stuff like that, but I have never seen one of them, ever. And I have no idea where they are, how you find them, or what pictures are on there, or what kind of lies they're telling about us. Jasmine?
1:15:01🔗
Caller
Um, I have a, well, it's not really a problem, but I'm attracted to older married men, and I want to know why that is.
1:16:04🔗
Adam
Okay. Hold on. Where's my scratch pad? Just because. You said because? Yeah. Hi, Drew. You satisfied? Hi. I think we now have enough information that we can...
1:16:28🔗
Adam
Well, you're not going to disappoint him by not disappointing him. Yeah. You're angry at him now, right?
1:17:05🔗
Adam
Oh, you're so, Drew, you're so lucky that Drew asked you where you were born because I was so close to hanging up on your boring ass.
1:17:21🔗
Shawnee Smith
Look, you're pissed whether you realize it or not. You need some nourishment that helps you individuate and be a separate whole person and then you're not getting it from your family.
1:17:31🔗
Adam
See about moving out of the house. Could you do that? Your dad wouldn't care. Just move out. All right, baby, good times. Boy, I'll tell you, she was very forthright. I'll tell you, she must have been some sort of auctioneer.
1:17:52🔗
Drew
If you care, just get out, date who you want. If you want to give those older guys the pleasure, then...
1:17:57🔗
Adam
She's angry at everyone. Listen all you a-holes. I understand you're mad at the world and every male's daddy and you got a problem except for you don't have a prom but you want to call but you don't want to talk about it. Screw you. Go rot in your own hell. I don't want to talk to you. Don't call this show you idiots. If you can't talk, if I'm asking you if there's cultural problems about your family's origin and I ask you where you're from and your answer is not from here, blow me. Get rid of you a-holes. Don't call this show. Mindy?
1:18:44🔗
Caller
Well, like he pulled out just one time and I looked down there and his balls like shrunk. They were like shrunken.
1:19:16🔗
Adam
Hey, Mindy, you ever watch those nature films? You see where the shark attacks and that little membrane goes over the eyes. The eyes roll back. You know why? It's so the shark doesn't hurt its eye when it's eating something. And that's what the nuts do. They don't want to be injured during sex.
1:19:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'm long in the nuts. Short in the penis, long in the nuts. I get going fast enough, it has a sort of pendulum effect.
1:19:58🔗
Shawnee Smith
Well, I often get called to question these colleges I go and speak at by guys whose testes sort of rolls up into the inguinal canal, like it gets up into where the body joins the leg, and they actually feel it suck up into there.
1:20:12🔗
Shawnee Smith
It can do that, and that's part of the cremasteric response, too. When guys ejaculate, some guys get one side or the other where that will roll up.
1:20:18🔗
Adam
He's fine, Minnie. I'm more concerned with the part about him pulling out and you being 14.
1:20:31🔗
Shawnee Smith
Mindy, you can still get pregnant without the pulling. Even though he pulled out, you can still get pregnant.
1:20:39🔗
Adam
Yeah, how come he didn't just come in you or on you or up you? I'm very concerned about the fact that he pulled out.
1:20:50🔗
Adam
Well, I didn't want him to come. You want to hear, yes, that is the IQ of our listeners in a nutshell. That is the answer.
1:20:58🔗
Adam
I'm more concerned about this 14-year-old who's having sex with you and pulling out, response, well, I didn't want him to come in me.
1:21:07🔗
Adam
That's what I like. Hey, Mindy, listen here, goofball. You're going to be pregnant by your 15th birthday.
1:21:49🔗
Adam
Man, I'll tell you, this boyfriend of hers really hit a goldmine. Hippie mom shot her up with a depot, and now he's just humping away.
1:22:04🔗
Adam
Yeah. I was thinking about that. You know what's interesting about that cremasteric response, and I think that's the same thing we're talking about. No, no. The sac skin actually gets 200 times thicker.
1:22:28🔗
Adam
But, I mean, it goes from this long, elastic, elongated origami-type substance to this thick, very thick skin.
1:22:49🔗
Adam
It's attached to the other side of your Johnson. Look at the brain. It's like a walnut-sized brain, isn't it? And the skin goes from paper thin to like light coming through it thin to super thick.
1:23:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, but it's not going to explain how it works. It's just going to show me a guy's nuts.
1:23:36🔗
Drew
You know what's crazy is that each one of us is the winning sperm of like how many billions, right? Like more people than on the planet.
1:24:28🔗
Adam
Let's go. You're always complaining I don't break on time. Aren't we supposed to break at 38? It's not 37? What is it, Anderson? What is the official timer supposed to break? 38?
1:25:37🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Corolla, he's Dr. Drew, Sean E. Smith is our guest tonight from Becker. CBS, 9.30, Monday nights. Golden Globe nominated Becker. Well, actually the actor plays Becker. He'll be on the show tomorrow night, right? You talked to Ted for it.
1:25:55🔗
Adam
Tell him we're fans, we like to see him. Seems like a laid back guy. What day do you guys film?
1:26:02🔗
Adam
So, your schedule is you have like the table read on like Wednesday or something and then it's it's a good life.
1:26:16🔗
Adam
The only, I mean the tough days are the tape days and the day before the tape day. Yeah, but there's a couple of easy days in there too, right? The table read day is pretty easy day, right?
1:26:27🔗
Drew
Yeah, well, if you do any like one film any day on a half hour show is not like even film day, especially when Andy Ackerman is directing it.
1:27:09🔗
Drew
Yeah. It's a bit like we were having lunch today after the table read and I was looking around the table and I'm like, it's like I have two bands. I got my band and then I have like my cast of Becker.
1:27:20🔗
Drew
And it's kind of like, I mean, half-hour comedy is a bit like music, you know? You work off each other, it's fast, you rewrite it every day, you fine-tune it, and then you like perform it for a live audience.
1:27:42🔗
Drew
Yeah, those writers were pretty spoiled. I don't know if I will leave in Las Vegas was pretty amazing. But if you think of all the hours we've put together on three seasons of Becker of Half Hours, it like blows away any two hours of movie I've ever done. The writing's like that good.
1:28:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, there was a blob in the 60s, right? And then there was a remake in the mid 80s or somewhere around there. And then they had a third blob?
1:28:39🔗
Adam
Who decided that was scary, by the way, the blob? You know what I mean? It sounds like your fat aunt from Poughkeepsie came to stay the weekend or something at the blob. That doesn't instill a lot of fear in people, does it?
1:29:03🔗
Caller
Well, I start getting horny at 1 o'clock in the afternoon and it goes on to 10 o'clock at night.
1:29:37🔗
Adam
I see. But is it to the point where you can't get your homework done because you're so distracted? Do you constantly masturbate?
1:29:56🔗
Adam
I see the difference between men and women. Women are so stupid. They're like, I'm starving. I'm starving. I want you to eat something. No. No, never.
1:30:02🔗
Adam
It doesn't do anything for me. That wouldn't do it. What do you mean? I think it would. I think a big pizza would probably help.
1:30:17🔗
Adam
The place in myself where I eat the pizza. I have to go to that place. I can't find that place.
1:30:22🔗
Adam
I have to light some candles or I'll get in the tub. I'm going to talk about this to somebody.
1:30:29🔗
Adam
You understand why women are such a pain in the ass. She's horny. She refuses to masturbate. And will not even consider it.
1:31:15🔗
Shawnee Smith
Well, what happens then is that, like we talked about earlier about people...
1:31:34🔗
Adam
But what I'm saying is, for three years, you had intercourse with your older brother. And how old were you when this started?
1:31:53🔗
Shawnee Smith
That's the point. For the 11 year old who initiated this to know how to do this, he had to have been sexually abused by an adult.
1:32:36🔗
Shawnee Smith
Yeah, but your mom knows now. And so it's about time you guys get some professional help. Because this is... But what happens again, as we talked earlier, is people getting these repetitions where having been highly aroused in a, you know, power situation, you go out and try to reenact those things. The other thing is that all your feelings become sort of sexualized. And that's why it's so distracting to you. Everything becomes converted into sex.
1:32:58🔗
Adam
Hey, listen, Emily, this is not the kind of thing that's going to be able to be swept under the carpet, psychologically.
1:33:09🔗
Adam
You will have to either deal with it in counseling, or it will be with you and run and be the guiding force in your life for your entire life, whether you know it or not.
1:33:29🔗
Shawnee Smith
Well, you probably were, but be that as it may, you've got some serious sort of dynamic issues.
1:33:34🔗
Adam
I'm sorry this happened to you, but it has to be dealt with. And your brother needs to be looked at and evaluated as well, because this is the kind of guy who could do a lot of damage.
1:33:51🔗
Adam
Well, they don't promote you from private to in charge of the government for at least 18 months, so we don't have to worry about that.
1:34:02🔗
Adam
Yeah, thank God he'll have a gun in his hand. Hopefully he'll get hit by some friendly fire or something.
1:34:10🔗
Adam
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. That stuff costs taxpayers a lot of money. Let's hope he's stabbed in a bar.
1:34:21🔗
Drew
Like, what about that? I mean, there's not many just purely evil 11-year-olds that like to rape their sisters, right? Like, what happened to him? What started it?
1:35:07🔗
Adam
I see. All right. Maybe he got a little dose of radiation and did something to his brain and did something weird to the kid. All right. Listen, Emily, you got to talk to your mom and tell her, here's what you have to tell your mom. I know this is painful. I know it's not something you want to hear, and I know it's something you wish would go away, but you know what? It needs to be addressed. And unless, if it's not, if you don't address this and if you don't help me address this, you are being negligent as a parent.
1:35:35🔗
Adam
It is, it is, it is, you might as well give you a handgun and tell you to, and a flask.
1:35:44🔗
Shawnee Smith
The older brother may abuse other kids, and Adam, the radiation exposure, everyone knows that makes you grow into a giant.
1:36:33🔗
Adam
Because I get a neck rash down here, well, on my neck. That's what I call it, the neck rash.
1:37:07🔗
Adam
Oh, with the computers already. Some people like to leave the house on occasion. Steven.
1:37:31🔗
Adam
Listen, listen, listen, goofball. The 10 skin works if you're going to constantly shave an area. If you shave it and it was two weeks ago and you're not going to shave it again, it's not going to do anything for you.
1:37:50🔗
Adam
All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this. All right. Well, there you go. Another fantastic show. I want to thank Shawnee Smith for coming in. You can see her and her band, 5.0, down at the House of Blues on the favorite Sunset Strip Sunday night, 9.30. Then the next night, you can turn on the TV at the same time, 9.30, and see her on Becker, right?
1:38:55🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.