Thursday, January 4, 2001

4:32🔗 Dr. Bruce The other stations will be along shortly.

4:43🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

4:49🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

4:54🔗 Yep, it is Loveline.

4:56🔗 Adam That sounds like yes. There we go. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce, everybody. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Bruce is a board certified physician believe it or not and an addiction medicine specialist and he removes tats from gang members in prison. And what else do you do, Bruce?

5:22🔗 We're doing a gang program in East LA now.

5:24🔗 Adam Oh good.

5:25🔗 Father Greg Boyles.

5:26🔗 Adam Fantastic. Oh, the famous father is down there trying to stop all the gang warfare. He also shoots rats at his home in Redlands with a.22. That's me.

5:35🔗 That's not Father Greg.

5:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, I'm still on you.

5:39🔗 I don't want any confusion there.

5:40🔗 Adam No, you're the rat killer.

5:41🔗 I'm the rat killer.

5:42🔗 Adam Absolutely. Dr. Bruce got a fresh charge on his batteries. He's out here in his beat up pickup truck. He's the crown prince of doctors. Dr. Bruce, everybody.

5:52🔗 They didn't like that pick up in your neighborhood there, Adam.

5:54🔗 Adam What are you talking about?

5:56🔗 I got the dirty look.

5:57🔗 Adam No, you didn't. Bruce came by. Bruce and I have a, we have a love, hate, abuse relationship. I like Dr. Bruce, but he's the kind of guy who doesn't know he's alive until he's being beat upon. I think he asked for it. He asked for it. That's something you should look into, Bruce, because Bruce comes onto this show and I beg him to be prepared to pick the calls to be in his place. Then he drops the ball quite a bit and then I beat on him. But I realize I think that's the nature of our relationship. I think you enjoy that in some bizarre way. Or maybe you don't enjoy it, but you must need it somehow.

6:37🔗 Bruce, as the insightful physician I am, I know that you need someone to beat upon to feel worthy.

6:42🔗 Adam Oh, I see. I present myself as a martyr.

6:44🔗 As a sacrifice.

6:45🔗 Adam I see. Thank you, fam. Bruce and I, actually, I enjoy when Bruce comes in, because unlike Drew, who is a woman, a woman with a penis, Drew, Bruce has hobbies. He enjoys the stuff I enjoy. We sit around, we talk about cars and model airplanes. I bring in magazines. He brings in his guitars. And we actually enjoy each other on a male level, right? You cannot, see, you cannot, you cannot relate to Drew as a male. You can only relate to him as a human being. He's not a male human. He's just human. You know what I'm saying? Bruce and I can sit around and have a long-winded conversation about cars after the show. Whereas Drew doesn't know what I'm saying and he's peeling out the second the show ends and heading home anyway to get his nuts back.

7:34🔗 But he's driving the BMW and I'm in the pickup truck.

7:36🔗 Adam That's true. Now Bruce, I enjoy, but I think Bruce thinks I don't enjoy him. And Bruce once in a while calls me and wants to hang out or something. But he always calls at the last second. He never gives any warning. He calls when he's driving by my house. And I'm either not home or heading out somewhere and can't accommodate him. Tonight Bruce called. Said he was down the street. He was in Hollywood. Now Drew, pardon me, Bruce is a good, what are you, 75 miles away from Hollywood?

8:06🔗 Oh yeah, easy.

8:07🔗 Adam And what were you doing? You just cruising dudes before the show? What were you doing at 730 in Hollywood tonight?

8:16🔗 Hey, where can a fella get a hooker around here?

8:19🔗 Adam Right.

8:19🔗 Not now.

8:20🔗 Adam What were you doing?

8:22🔗 I was just in LA early because I was doing the tattoo thing and had some time to kill.

8:26🔗 Adam I see. So naturally he calls at 730 and he says, can I come over to your house and take a nap?

8:32🔗 Everybody else I know has kids. Adam, no kids. Cool stuff at his house.

8:36🔗 Adam Wanted to come over and take a nap. So I said, you know what? I'm heading out because I'm going out to dinner, but you can come up, but hurry. I'll let you in. You can take a nap and just let yourself out. Which he did. I told you I'd call you to wake you up. Told you I'd call you at 915 to wake you up.

8:54🔗 Yeah.

8:54🔗 Adam I got my own answering machine five times before Bruce picked up, by the way. I had to let it ring and ring and ring and ring.

9:01🔗 You got one of these designer leather couches that's really comfortable.

9:04🔗 Adam You must have really been out.

9:05🔗 I was out.

9:07🔗 Adam You doctors can go down quick.

9:08🔗 I found a couple of those blow up dolls you have in the car.

9:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:12🔗 Magazines.

9:13🔗 Adam So you found yourself around. You turn the alarm on. You shut the door. Everything's good. You shut the gate. You made it here okay.

9:23🔗 What's that little thing in the bathroom next to the toilet? The other round thing with the thing that water shoots up out? What's it?

9:29🔗 Adam I'm talking about...

9:30🔗 Normal people don't have those in their houses.

9:31🔗 Adam I'm talking about my bidet.

9:33🔗 Oh, that's right. That's what it is.

9:34🔗 Adam Yeah. No. You know, you're making a joke, but I do have a toilet seat bidet. You didn't go upstairs and see it, I don't think.

9:41🔗 No, I didn't.

9:42🔗 Adam You didn't snoop around?

9:43🔗 He didn't take the liberties. No.

9:44🔗 Adam No.

9:44🔗 I was afraid.

9:45🔗 Adam I would have been alright with that.

9:46🔗 But I could tell all your fans out there, he's sold out. He's not every man's hero anymore.

9:51🔗 Adam What are you talking about?

9:52🔗 The neighborhood this guy lives in, I'm telling you. I ran over one little shiitsu, the neighbor was screaming. The guy gets the, he's had a little grocery box at the doorstep.

10:01🔗 Adam Oh, that's a recycling bucket.

10:03🔗 No, there was a bunch of food in it. Somebody's delivering food to his house, somebody does your shopping for you.

10:08🔗 Adam Talk about that plastic bucket at the bottom of the stairs. It's full of cans and beer bottles.

10:13🔗 Okay, well.

10:14🔗 Adam Tomorrow's trash day. How dare you. Please, of course.

10:18🔗 I'd get a dirty look from your neighbor.

10:19🔗 Adam I live in an exclusive neighborhood. I'm a millionaire, literally a millionaire. Whatever. All right, we're gonna take some phone calls. I got, speaking of phone calls, my celebrity buddy, David Alan Greer, called the other day and left a long winded message on my phone machine that I thought was kind of funny. I'll share with the listeners a little bit later tonight. I didn't clear it with him, but that's the-

10:43🔗 He's a funny guy.

10:44🔗 Adam That's the risk you run when you leave messages on the guys who do radio shows. Jill?

10:50🔗 Yes?

10:51🔗 Adam You're 25.

10:53🔗 Caller Yes.

10:53🔗 Adam What's up?

10:54🔗 Caller I actually have got a question I thought Dr. Drew would be in tonight, but I think Dr. Bruce can probably answer this.

10:58🔗 Adam Well, don't be so sure.

11:01🔗 Caller Well, my boyfriend and I are having a debate. He says that everyone has herpes and that mouth herpes or herpes that you get on your lips can be transferred to your genitals.

11:16🔗 Adam And when he says everyone has it, he means everyone that's ever had a cold sore has herpes.

11:21🔗 Caller Yes, and he says like 95% of all people have herpes and I don't think it's that high. He says I have herpes, that it's just dormant. And I don't have herpes.

11:33🔗 Adam Well, I'm guessing he has herpes.

11:37🔗 I don't think he has herpes.

11:38🔗 Adam Well, you see, listen, fellas, it's important not to make strong arguments for venereal diseases that you don't have. It makes you look guilty. Right. You know what I mean? Like these guys who sit around and spout off all the time. Oh, no, no, no. It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean. Women don't care about a small penis. That's highly overrated. You talk too much. Everyone goes small dick. Small dick.

12:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:04🔗 Adam He's obviously he has it or he wouldn't be defending it this way.

12:07🔗 Caller Right.

12:08🔗 Adam All right, Bruce, you say what you know and then I'll say what I know.

12:11🔗 Caller Type one and type two, type one oral, type two genital can go back and forth, but it's it's not common. So normally if you have an outbreak, it's true. It's a dormant virus and almost everyone does have it and it it will come out when you're stressed. Some people, you know, they're different factors that.

12:31🔗 Adam But let me let me ask a couple of questions. There's type one, not you, Jill, but you listen, baby, type one and type two, type one is oral and type two is genital, right? They're different strains, right? So most genital herpes is passed through genital contact. Absolutely not through oral to genital contact.

12:53🔗 Caller Correct.

12:55🔗 Adam Is it possible to get type two on your mouth or because it's on your mouth, does that make it type one?

13:02🔗 Caller No, if you check the strains, it is possible for them to go the other way. It's possible to have type one. But normally. But normally it's genital to genital, type two to type two.

13:12🔗 Adam All right. And as far as everybody having herpes, technically, I mean, here's what I've gotten from Dr. Drew. Anytime you have a cold sore, it is a form of herpes.

13:23🔗 Caller Right.

13:23🔗 Adam And everyone has had one at one time or another. But not everyone has one every four months.

13:29🔗 Caller Right.

13:30🔗 Adam Some people haven't had one since they were in the fourth grade.

13:32🔗 Caller Well, the shingles virus, chickenpox, herpes zoster, the herpes virus family is a very large family of viruses. So he's right. But on the other hand, when a virus is in a dormant state, you can't give it to the other person. The problem is when you're about to get an outbreak or when the outbreak is very early, you don't know it and you can transmit it.

13:51🔗 Adam But here's what, in a more practical sense, Jill, here's the reality. Everyone may be harboring the herpes virus in one form or another. Everyone may have had an outbreak like I said, it may not have been, they may have been in camp when they were in the fifth grade. But everyone may technically have something. But the practical reality is, is some people have frequent breakouts and those are the people who have herpes.

14:19🔗 Caller Yeah, I want to know what Jill's boyfriend's angle is on this. You know, if all of a sudden there's some oral sex and she has these little things on her lips. Oh, everybody, then he comes up with, oh, everybody's had it, everybody. Maybe there's some something more to it. Yeah, maybe not.

14:34🔗 Adam All right, Jill.

14:35🔗 Caller Thank you.

14:36🔗 Adam All right, I don't know if that helps at all. Basically, your boyfriend is basically wrong.

14:41🔗 Caller Well, no, he's over here patting himself on the back of him, you know, shaking my head, yes.

14:45🔗 Adam No, no, he's wrong and he's wrong practically.

14:49🔗 Caller Okay.

14:49🔗 Adam I mean.

14:50🔗 Caller Practically, I'm right, not everyone has genital herpes. Not everyone has herpes.

14:54🔗 Adam No, not every. Listen, a genital herpes is another situation because I don't know what percentage of people have that, but listen, if you've never had an outbreak, then you don't have it.

15:05🔗 Caller Okay.

15:06🔗 Adam I mean, it's like saying you have cancer except for you don't have cancer.

15:09🔗 Caller Yeah, there's a big difference between genital herpes and the oral herpes.

15:12🔗 Caller But the oral herpes, a lot of people have it, but it's just not out.

15:16🔗 Adam Well, no, listen, oral herpes, everybody has had a cold sore one time or another. But if you haven't had one in 20 years, you don't have oral herpes.

15:27🔗 Caller Okay. I gotcha. So genital herpes isn't the same?

15:30🔗 Adam No.

15:31🔗 Caller Okay. All right, baby. All right. Thank you.

15:33🔗 Adam Have fun tonight. You guys both slip into a nice trash bag and get it on.

15:38🔗 Caller Okay.

15:38🔗 Caller All right.

15:39🔗 Adam Well, that's a good conversation.

15:41🔗 Caller I'd like to hear the conversation now.

15:43🔗 Adam Tasha?

15:43🔗 Yeah.

15:44🔗 Adam You're 18?

15:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:45🔗 Adam What's up?

15:47🔗 Caller I found out that my mom is having an affair and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should confront her or what.

15:55🔗 Adam What did you do? Smell her hand?

15:57🔗 Caller No.

15:57🔗 Adam How did you find out?

15:59🔗 Caller I watched her punch in her access code or voicemail. I checked her voicemail.

16:06🔗 Adam You mean at home on the phone?

16:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:09🔗 Adam Jesus, you are disgusting. That is horrible. So you just watched a code, you memorized a code, then dialed it up, and what message did you hear?

16:20🔗 Caller Well, there was like six different guys on her pager, but like a couple in particular that were from one guy, they were just, I mean, I can't even say the things that were on it. They were disgusting. I mean, I heard like the first 10 seconds and I hung up because it like shocked me.

16:43🔗 Caller She's got a business on the side.

16:45🔗 Adam Is your dad living at home?

16:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:48🔗 Adam Why? This is for a pager, it's not for the home phone machine.

16:53🔗 Caller No, it's for a pager.

16:54🔗 Adam Yeah. What does your mom do for a living?

16:58🔗 Caller She's a secretary.

17:00🔗 Adam I see. What's your dad do?

17:03🔗 Caller He works at a radio station.

17:05🔗 Adam He does?

17:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:07🔗 Adam That's trouble.

17:08🔗 Caller Want to zero in on that one?

17:10🔗 Adam What's he do for a radio station?

17:13🔗 Caller Well, he used to be a DJ, but now he produces commercials and stuff.

17:18🔗 Adam That's trouble. No wonder she's cheating. And they've been together for many years?

17:23🔗 Almost 20.

17:25🔗 Adam I see.

17:25🔗 Caller How's the relationship been from your standpoint? They get along well?

17:31🔗 Caller They fight a lot.

17:33🔗 Adam Now, when they fight, does your dad use that radio voice? God damn it, you bitch. I'd like you to step outside so I can lay a good ass women on you. 68 degrees outside. We're gonna turn the gym with traffic, Jim. 28 after the hour. It's 28 away from 10 o'clock. You stinking whore.

17:56🔗 Caller Tashi, have any brothers or sisters?

17:57🔗 Adam Cheating on me again. Fantastic.

18:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a brother.

18:01🔗 Caller How old is he?

18:03🔗 Caller Oh.

18:06🔗 Adam All right, Tashi, listen, your mom's... See, the thing I don't understand about your mom is I understand having an affair. I don't understand being sort of... She's not a very good criminal. You know what I mean? The guy's leaving long-winded, very explicit messages on the pager.

18:29🔗 Caller Different guys.

18:30🔗 Adam Isn't she worried that somebody could get hold of this pager like you or her husband or something like that?

18:36🔗 Caller I guess not.

18:37🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, maybe the relationships run the course. When are you moving out of the house?

18:43🔗 Caller Uh... I have no clue.

18:46🔗 Adam Is it about time for you to go off to junior college?

18:49🔗 Caller I'm still in high school.

18:50🔗 Adam You're 18?

18:51🔗 Caller Yeah, it's my second senior year.

18:54🔗 Adam Oh, baby. Jesus. Wait a minute. What do you got to do to get to actually repeat in this day and age? I mean, you have to actually kill a faculty member, don't you? What do you have to do to repeat your senior year?

19:08🔗 Caller Have a good time the first time around.

19:10🔗 Adam I know, but isn't it hard to do? I mean, I was the world's worst student. I didn't have to repeat.

19:15🔗 Caller No, I screwed up my junior year. I never went to school. And so they kicked me out and sent me to a continuation school. And that's where I met.

19:24🔗 Adam OK. Well, listen, baby, how about, you know what? Stay out of it.

19:30🔗 But I...

19:31🔗 Adam All right. Well, then confront your mom. I don't know what you're going to tell her. I don't know how you're going to tell her you found out.

19:37🔗 Caller Yeah, because then she'll be like, why were you invading my privacy?

19:40🔗 Adam All right. Well, then you lay low.

19:42🔗 Caller You know, the important thing is how are you doing and how is this affecting you? And many times when parents may cheat on each other, bad things happen, it has long term effects on you.

19:54🔗 Adam She's 18.

19:55🔗 Caller Well, I'm just asking her how she feels about it. Is it really bothering you or is it not something that surprised you that much because your mom is that type of person?

20:03🔗 Caller No, it's bothering me.

20:05🔗 Adam Okay. Well, listen, if it's bothering you, you talk to her and you tell her to make you feel better about it.

20:11🔗 Caller It's not.

20:11🔗 Adam Did you? That's good. That's fine. Here's what you say. Don't get into how you know. You say, mom, I know what's going on with you and that other guy and I feel real bad about it. And why don't you sit me down and explain to me why I shouldn't feel so bad about it?

20:27🔗 Caller Yeah, but Tasha's got other reasons.

20:28🔗 Adam There you go.

20:29🔗 Caller Why she's...

20:30🔗 Adam There you go. Thank you. Micah?

20:33🔗 Yes, sir.

20:33🔗 Adam You're 20.

20:35🔗 Caller Yes.

20:35🔗 Adam What's up?

20:37🔗 Caller Well, check it out. When I was 14, my mom had divorced my dad and ran off to be a dominatrix. Sure. Yeah. And I wound up living with her as my dad kicked me out. So I kind of grew up around like my mom, like tying people up and spanking them and defecating on them.

21:01🔗 Adam No, you did not.

21:02🔗 Caller Swear to God. Swear to God.

21:04🔗 Adam Where were you when she was defecating on them?

21:07🔗 Caller In the living room where she was at.

21:09🔗 Adam Just watching TV?

21:11🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

21:13🔗 Adam Mom, could you move the poop a little to the left? Your block? I'm trying to watch Little House on the Prairie. Do you mind defecating on your client just maybe in the kitchen or hallway?

21:22🔗 Caller Wait a second. What state are you calling from?

21:25🔗 Caller I'm calling from Chicago.

21:28🔗 Adam Illinois. Oh yeah, that could happen there. Listen, where were you when she was with her clients?

21:35🔗 Caller I'm serious. We live in an apartment.

21:37🔗 Adam Alright, but you were in the same room?

21:39🔗 Caller Yeah, half the time. I mean, sometimes I wasn't always there. Sometimes I was in school, but I'd come home with my buddies and my mom would have some guy tied up there in the living room. No.

21:48🔗 Adam Listen, hold on a second. Listen to me. What kind of client is going to go in, pay somebody to perform this act and have their kids sitting in the room?

22:00🔗 Caller Most of them were big business executives, real rich people.

22:05🔗 Adam Yeah, I understand. With her kid sitting in the room?

22:09🔗 Caller Sure. It got kind of worse. She got really weak. She actually passed away of cancer last year and she got really weak and couldn't tie him up that well anymore. So she would pay me to tie him up for her while she with him and spanked him and did whatever. Guys used to pay her to come to our house just to dress up like women and wash our dishes and clean our house and stuff. And well my problem really is though is that this is like really.

22:37🔗 Adam It's the child that I have. Yeah. The problem now is what? What about, hold on a second. Didn't any.

22:46🔗 Caller It's not something you hear every day but.

22:48🔗 Adam Didn't any of these guys object to the fact that the woman's kid was in the room?

22:54🔗 Caller Actually a lot of them took a liking to me and would like you know like bring me presents and stuff when they would come to the house and.

23:01🔗 Adam And had no problem sort of performing a sexual ceremony.

23:05🔗 Caller No.

23:06🔗 Adam While the woman was, the child was in the room.

23:09🔗 Caller Being spanked.

23:10🔗 Caller Not at all.

23:11🔗 Adam How old were you at the time?

23:13🔗 Caller I was 14 when it all started and it went on until I was about 17 when I joined the army.

23:17🔗 Adam Alright, now what about the part where they dressed up like women and did the dishes?

23:22🔗 Caller Well, like, okay, for instance, one guy, he was a lawyer in Pennsylvania, had a wife and three kids, happily married. He had a fetish of being a cross dresser. So he would pay my mom, he paid her something like $500 a day. And he told his wife that he was going on a week business trip to Seattle. He flew out there dressed like, I always remember as Peter Pan because he used to wear these like little green high heels and green tights and this blonde wig, really skinny guy in a green skirt. And he lived with us for like a week just to like wash our dishes and like clean our house and stuff, dressed up like a woman.

23:55🔗 Adam Well, you see, you know, when I was growing up, we had this guy who dressed up like a Mexican woman and who would come by in, you know, skirt and white skirt and everything, and she would clean the head. Oh, no way. That was a maid. That was a maid. I'm sorry. I was I was totally confused.

24:12🔗 Caller I'm buying. I'm buying the store.

24:13🔗 Adam I'm buying it. Hold on a second. I'm buying it, too, because he's got a lot of very specific information in here.

24:19🔗 Caller Like, how can we help him? That's the question.

24:21🔗 Adam Like the Peter Pan thing.

24:23🔗 Caller Can I can I get on with what you have to join the army?

24:25🔗 Adam Your mom died of cancer.

24:27🔗 Caller Right. I moved to Germany and spent three years. I just got I just moved to Illinois. I spent three years over there. Got engaged, almost got married. I had to get out of it. It's really kind of affected my life growing up around all this sex and like this big emphasis on sex. I tend to I tend to actually desensitize sex. You know, like to the point where there's like no emotions. And a lot of women had problems with that. And women had problems anyway. But that just kind of adds to it.

24:56🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

24:57🔗 Caller And so now it's like, you know, my sex life is kind of bizarre. Like weird things kind of turn me on. And I don't know how to get away from all that. You know what I mean?

25:08🔗 Adam All right, Michael, listen to me. You grew up in a basically a bizarre sexual Cuisinart just flying around.

25:18🔗 Caller Is that really a word?

25:19🔗 Adam No. Your mom is a piece of work, a serious piece of work. I'm sorry she's been taken by cancer. But what a horrible, horrible, horrible mother. What a may she rotten piece. Now listen, I'm sure she was abused sexually or physically by her family. Listen, listen, I could dig her coffin up and get that out of her. You hear me? She had horrible things done to her and she became the world's worst mother.

25:48🔗 Caller Okay.

25:49🔗 Caller Horrible, horrible mother.

25:51🔗 Adam Now here's the point. Your compass is spinning around like at the beginning of this Devil's Triangle documentaries you used to see. I mean it's all over the place and rightfully so. I'm surprised you're as normal as you are. You're doing-

26:07🔗 Caller I'm not him too. I mean, I like people in suicidal stage, but I mean, I got-

26:10🔗 Adam No, you're doing pretty good for what you've been through, what you've seen and how you were raised. But you're gonna have a little difficulty in the sex department and in the intimacy department. Fine, fine. You're 20, you're asking all the right questions. Little therapy.

26:27🔗 Caller Right, that's the point.

26:28🔗 Adam Talk to a few people, take it slow.

26:31🔗 Caller Your own insight. The fog's not gonna clear on its own. It's cleared a lot on its own based on your own stability and inherent strength. Sounds like you've dealt with it really well. But it gets to a point where when developmentally you have some of these things happen to you, you have to go back, work through it with a therapist. Well, a lot of people think if I understand what happened, I can move on from here. And there are other people that will tell me, yeah, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. In a situation like this-

26:56🔗 Adam Don't listen to any of your friends about anything. Just unless it has to do with finding an apartment. But emotionally forget it. Everyone's an idiot. All those guys you talk to with all their sort of half-baked-isms about what it's going to take to get you back on your feet emotionally, all retards. You were helping tie up some of the clients because your mom's body was riddled with cancer, so you had to actually lash the guy's hands again. You need therapy.

27:22🔗 Caller But he works through suicidal stage, the obvious things, and then he gets it. He's doing good. When intimacy occurs, sexuality occurs in people like this, things just explode and they don't know how to handle it.

27:32🔗 Adam So, you're 20, go with therapy, don't get anyone pregnant.

27:36🔗 Caller And don't think it's easy. You have to work at it and spend time with the therapist. It's a fruitful process.

27:42🔗 Adam Right. All right, now who are we going to talk to when we come back?

27:44🔗 Caller Josh.

27:45🔗 Adam No, I don't like that call.

27:46🔗 Caller Okay, then I want to talk to Jeannie, or Gene, had sex with a guy and he wants to know if there's any way.

27:54🔗 Adam Her boyfriend could tell?

27:56🔗 Caller Yeah, that's right.

27:57🔗 Adam Wait a minute, she cheated on her boyfriend.

27:59🔗 Caller Oh, great. That's a good one. Yeah, I like that one.

28:01🔗 Adam All right, we'll do that after this.

28:22🔗 Dr. Bruce You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

28:39🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Bruce, the Clown Prince of Doctors, everybody. Dr. Bruce. I took my coffee. Ichabod Bruce, everybody. Someone stole his coffee. Spaz it. Right in front of me.

28:52🔗 Caller Anderson took my coffee and gave me sugar. What's the point?

28:54🔗 Adam You know, I was thinking, I was thinking of what you were as I was driving over here, and I thought spaz.

29:01🔗 Caller Spaz?

29:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:03🔗 Caller Like, you're an asshole.

29:05🔗 Adam No, here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying, Bruce. Dr. Bruce, filming for Dr. Drew, by the way. He's board certified. I swear he says he is. He says he is, everybody. Addiction medicine, removes tats. He's involved. He's probably got better grades than Dr. Drew did, although he went to a college no one heard of.

29:25🔗 Caller Oh, no, that's not true.

29:26🔗 Adam What college is that? What's that again? See, I can't remember it.

29:28🔗 Caller They're suing me right now.

29:29🔗 Adam It's not a real college. I never heard of that college. But here's the deal, Bruce. You are a spaz, you see? And I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about different labels. What we're talking about, we're talking about this guy we know as a blowhard.

29:47🔗 Caller A blowhard?

29:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

29:48🔗 Caller What's the defined terms?

29:49🔗 Adam Well, let me tell you about a blowhard. Like, for instance, you can't be black and be a blowhard. There's no black blowhards. You have to be a white guy. You can't be, there's no blowhards that are under 25 or even 35. To be a blowhard, you must be a white male. There's no female blowhards. There's no Hispanic blowhards. There's no black. You must be white. You must be between the ages of 38 and 60. And you must be at least 40 pounds overweight. To be a blowhard. You know what I'm talking about, Bruce? There's certain titles. You cannot be a blowhard and a spaz at the same time.

30:29🔗 Caller Thank God.

30:30🔗 Adam You're a spaz. That's all right. Well, define.

30:34🔗 Caller Define.

30:35🔗 Adam Spaz. Well, let's see. To be a spaz, you can't be overweight and be a spaz. You have to be a little underweight.

30:41🔗 Caller Okay.

30:41🔗 Adam That's what you are. You have to have a sort of unfluid, herky-jerky type movement.

30:47🔗 Caller Okay. We're looking at hypomanic right now.

30:49🔗 Adam That's right.

30:50🔗 Caller Translate.

30:52🔗 Adam You can be intelligent, but do a good job disguising that from people you meet in everyday life.

30:59🔗 Caller You have to be tested to find that out, of course.

31:01🔗 Adam Right, right. You are an intelligent guy who does well when you have a number two pencil in your hand. Other than that, like-

31:07🔗 Caller Or a stethoscope.

31:08🔗 Adam Or a stethoscope. But when you're-

31:09🔗 Caller Thank God.

31:10🔗 Adam But just, but you wouldn't know it other than that.

31:13🔗 Caller Right.

31:13🔗 Adam You wouldn't know.

31:14🔗 Caller Knock things over.

31:15🔗 Adam Knock things over. One of the spaz characteristics is eating a lot of like candy and sugar. See, like a spaz wouldn't drink scotch, straight scotch.

31:27🔗 Caller Single malt.

31:27🔗 Adam And, yeah, single malt scotch. And eat smoked salmon. Spaz would have a pixie stick.

31:34🔗 Caller I ate a whole smoked salmon last week.

31:36🔗 Caller Really?

31:36🔗 Caller I'll hold myself. I'm from, all right, I don't want to burst the bubble. Keep going.

31:41🔗 Caller All right.

31:41🔗 Adam So then, your classic spaz. That's all.

31:45🔗 Caller All right, so, Dr. What are you?

31:47🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm cool. I'm hip. I'm what's called hipster, hip cat, they call me. No, I don't really have a title. I would, if I put on a few pounds in a couple of years, one day, God willing, I will be a blowhard soon.

32:05🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, no doubt. Right now, you're chilling with the homeboys.

32:09🔗 Adam About five years and about 45 pounds and I will have reached blowhard status because I got the rap of a blowhard. I talk a lot and about stuff I don't know about with a lot of conviction.

32:22🔗 Caller Homeies in East LA want you to come down to their boxing program there.

32:26🔗 Adam I'm going to come down there.

32:27🔗 Caller I'll take your lights out.

32:28🔗 Adam No, they won't. No, you vastly underestimate my ability. All right, Bruce, let's take a call. But then you got to tell me about going to these raves. Bruce does this thing where he goes to raves and he actually tries to score on underage chicks.

32:46🔗 Caller I knew it.

32:47🔗 Adam Now, what do you do with these raves?

32:49🔗 Caller Well, Drew and I were working on some chapters for an adolescent textbook, mostly me of course. So I got the section on designer drugs, club drugs.

32:57🔗 Adam So you're doing some research.

32:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:59🔗 Adam And you go to raves.

33:01🔗 Caller Well, usually I go and cover them as a physician with that other character, Dr. DeLong. Right.

33:06🔗 Adam You're going.

33:07🔗 Caller But this time I just went.

33:08🔗 Adam Bruce goes down there normally because a lot of kids OD and freak out and have trouble. And you actually have to save their lives.

33:17🔗 Caller Well, yeah, hope.

33:18🔗 Adam Yes, that's who provides you. I mean, who pays for that?

33:22🔗 Caller It's required in the contract with the promoter. So there's an ambulance company and we work with them.

33:28🔗 Adam That's bad times.

33:29🔗 Caller No, you know, in fact, we used to go down with the great. When the Grateful Dead play, they always had Rock Med, which was a group at a Haydn Ashbury Clinic. And they still do that kind of work. But the Grateful Dead knew that these doctors understood hallucinogens. And when somebody was freaking out on acid, they didn't get 16 policemen to hold them down and handcuff them. They'd talk them down. They'd know exactly what to do. And it's, you know, there's quite a parallel with the rave type of scene. You have a basically everybody's using.

34:01🔗 Adam So you were at the rave from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m. Approximately.

34:06🔗 Caller All right.

34:07🔗 Adam Let's take some calls. But remind me to get into that before the night is over.

34:11🔗 Caller People asleep.

34:12🔗 Adam Cheney.

34:13🔗 Oh, yeah.

34:13🔗 Adam You're 15. What's up?

34:15🔗 Caller Yeah. I was just wondering if there is any way like after you go to sex, like if you can tell afterwards, like like with another guy, because yesterday I saw an old friend of mine in a scene in a while. So and we weren't planning on doing anything, but I just kind of did. And I have a boyfriend and he should be coming over sometime tonight. And I was wondering if there's like any way that he would be able to tell because like, is your is your belly button filled with semen?

34:42🔗 Caller No.

34:43🔗 Adam You want to hear a story? I won't mention the person. Not like anyone knows him anyway, but a female friend of mine, an attractive female friend of mine, we're not bosom buddies, but I know her fairly well, was telling me a story about cheating on her boyfriend. And that the reason her boyfriend found out she was cheating is that her boyfriend found a piece of a condom in her vagina.

35:14🔗 Caller Ah, classic story.

35:15🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, talk about cold-busted. You know, you're having sex with your girlfriend of a couple of years, you don't use a condom with her, she's on the pill or maybe you're sterilized or whatever the hell is going on.

35:30🔗 Caller She didn't think of a story like practicing putting it on the banana and it slipped.

35:33🔗 Adam And you're getting intimate and he's getting down there and he's getting busy and he's got his face down there and before you know it, it's like, hey, what's this? What a balloon go out. What? This is part of a condom. Now how are you going to lie quick enough? What? Do you know what I mean? What are you going to say to that?

35:53🔗 Caller Just put on your clothes and walk out the door.

35:56🔗 Adam That is just cold-puzzed. All right, so listen, he's not going to be able to tell physiologically. He's only going to be able to tell emotionally.

36:06🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

36:07🔗 Caller Now did the other guy, did you use a condom with this guy?

36:09🔗 Caller No.

36:10🔗 Caller Okay, so maybe there will be a big gush of...

36:13🔗 Adam Smart move. No condom fragments left behind.

36:18🔗 Caller Yeah, maybe some fluid left behind.

36:19🔗 Adam Why didn't you use a condom with this guy?

36:21🔗 Caller Well, because it's not like it was haunted or anything.

36:24🔗 Adam Yeah, you didn't plan it, but you knew it was going to happen.

36:27🔗 Caller Oh, no.

36:28🔗 Adam What happened?

36:29🔗 Caller Well, because he's like...

36:31🔗 Caller I don't know, because he left and I wasn't expecting him to come back because I thought I'd never see him again or anything. But I didn't even know he was going to be coming over or anything.

36:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:41🔗 Adam Well, aren't you scared you're going to get pregnant?

36:44🔗 Caller No.

36:44🔗 Adam Why not?

36:45🔗 Caller Because I'm a birth control.

36:46🔗 Adam You are?

36:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:47🔗 Adam All right. You still kind of got some venereal disease. How old is the guy?

36:53🔗 Caller 16.

36:54🔗 Adam Yeah. And he gets around a little bit?

36:57🔗 Caller I don't know.

36:59🔗 Adam Listen, I know he gets around because he blew into town and nailed you and blew back out of town again. That's a guy who gets around. I can't do that now.

37:09🔗 Caller It sounds like you're fairly promiscuous or...

37:12🔗 Adam No, no kidding.

37:14🔗 Caller What's your...

37:15🔗 Adam Leave her alone. Don't give her that religious speech. Jeannie, when's your boyfriend coming back?

37:21🔗 Caller Like sometime tonight.

37:23🔗 Adam All right. Listen, try to avoid sex with him tonight. And tomorrow head on over to the Playing Paranoid and get yourself...

37:31🔗 Caller Get your finger off that thing.

37:32🔗 Adam Get a little check.

37:33🔗 Caller Wait a second.

37:34🔗 Adam And see what's going on. Don't have sex with him tonight.

37:38🔗 Caller I'm...

37:38🔗 Adam Let yourself dry off a little down there.

37:40🔗 Caller No, but I mean...

37:42🔗 Adam Relax. How dare you. Josh.

37:45🔗 Whoa. Hello.

37:46🔗 Adam Hey, you're 18. What's up?

37:48🔗 Caller What's up?

37:48🔗 Adam See, Josh a little spazzy.

37:51🔗 Caller No, I'm the... What's the other kind? The fat white guy?

37:54🔗 Adam Blowhard. You're not a blowhard because you're only 18. You can't be a blowhard at 18.

37:59🔗 Caller Oh, so I'm a spaz?

38:00🔗 Adam Well, there's a few other things you could be.

38:03🔗 Caller Spend five minutes with Adam, you will be a spaz.

38:05🔗 Adam I'll give you a good label. What's up?

38:08🔗 Caller Oh, I was going to say something about the raves, you know?

38:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

38:11🔗 Caller Okay.

38:12🔗 Caller Um...

38:15🔗 Adam Are you high?

38:16🔗 Caller No, no, actually I'm not. No, but raves are the easiest place to pick up like the pootang, if you know what I mean.

38:23🔗 Adam Hold on, pootang, let me look up that word.

38:25🔗 Caller Pootang.

38:26🔗 Adam Of course, there's a bunch of good looking chicks that are half dressed and passed out everywhere.

38:31🔗 Caller Is he 10 or 18? I can't read the thing.

38:33🔗 Caller But also, I mean, it's just, I don't know.

38:36🔗 Adam No, listen, listen, let me tell you my move if I was 18. I would show up at these raves. I wouldn't show up at 9 o'clock when they started. I'd show up about 3.30 in the morning. They'd call me the garbage man. I'd come in there and pick up the garbage. And I'd be straight as an arrow. I'd have a cup of coffee. I'd have a cup of coffee and some moist towelettes and that'd be it. And I'd just scrape up whatever was left behind and have sex with it.

39:04🔗 Caller Everyone's peaking.

39:05🔗 Adam Everyone's high. Everyone's just lying all over the place. Their shirts are pulled up over their heads.

39:10🔗 Caller It's bizarre. It's crazy.

39:11🔗 Adam Yeah. See, you get high too and you're not going anywhere.

39:15🔗 Caller Yeah. But you'd be the only one with that predator look in their eyes. Everybody else is peaceful.

39:20🔗 Adam Yes. You'd stick out like a wolf and I'd roll in there on a couple of cups of coffee, smelling of aquavelva. All right. So anyway, Josh, what's your problem?

39:31🔗 Caller But actually, you know, honestly, like I didn't really have, I just wanted to call in and just like go crazy.

39:37🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Well, you know what? Go crazy. Go ahead.

39:39🔗 Caller Five seconds.

39:41🔗 Adam Freak out, baby. Just just scream.

39:44🔗 Caller Lake Hills.

39:45🔗 Adam Yeah, Lake Hills. Yeah. All right, buddy.

39:48🔗 Caller All right.

39:49🔗 Adam Now, that's a typical listener, actually. He was spazzy.

39:55🔗 Caller He was spazzy. Non-chemically induced. Ola.

39:58🔗 Caller Yes.

39:58🔗 Adam Well, that's the other thing. To be a spaz, you got to be straight.

40:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:02🔗 Adam Can't be an alcoholic or drug addict.

40:04🔗 Caller Coffee.

40:04🔗 Adam Yeah. A lot of coffee and a lot of like Pepsi.

40:07🔗 Caller Ola.

40:07🔗 Yes.

40:08🔗 Adam She's, that's your name, Ola?

40:10🔗 Yes, it is.

40:11🔗 Adam Oh boy. You're 21.

40:13🔗 Caller Yes, I am. I had a chemically induced miscarriage in November. And I wanted to know if there's like later on, if there's going to be some trouble and problems and stuff like that.

40:25🔗 Adam What kind of chemicals did you take?

40:28🔗 Caller Actually, it was methotrexate. It's actually approved. FDA approved it for cancer treatments.

40:35🔗 Caller Right.

40:35🔗 Caller They used it too. If somebody has like tubal pregnancy.

40:38🔗 Caller Yeah, topic. So, I'm not understanding the question. Are you talking about future pregnancies?

40:44🔗 Caller Yeah, like is there going to be?

40:45🔗 Caller Absolutely not. There's no problem at all.

40:47🔗 Caller There's no problem. And I have another question. The reason I got pregnant was because I was on the pill and I had, and I get chronic bladder infections. And I had called my doctor.

40:58🔗 Caller And you took antibiotics and they made your?

41:00🔗 Caller Yeah. And I wasn't, you know, I didn't know. And is my doctor somewhat responsible for this? Or should I talk to my doctor?

41:07🔗 Adam He should raise the aborted fetus.

41:11🔗 Caller Okay. Just getting back to your other question. Once you have an ectopic pregnancy, if you have any tubal damage.

41:17🔗 Adam She didn't have an ectopic pregnancy.

41:19🔗 Caller Regular chemical chemically induced miscarriage.

41:22🔗 Caller Okay. And they gave you the methotrexate.

41:24🔗 Caller Yeah. And then I inserted the cytotex and.

41:27🔗 Caller Okay.

41:28🔗 Adam Listen, you'll be fine.

41:30🔗 Caller Right.

41:30🔗 Adam And he should have asked you if you're on the pill.

41:33🔗 Caller Because that's where the pills I got from her. And then when I called and.

41:37🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. You're going to a chick doctor?

41:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:40🔗 Adam Well, now who's fault is that? Do you know what I'm saying? Hold on.

41:44🔗 Caller Let me tell you something. That is something that most physicians, and I'm not making too many excuses for my colleagues, but it's very common not to ask about birth control.

41:56🔗 Adam Well, when you're prescribing a drug to a 21-year-old girl who you prescribe birth control to.

42:04🔗 Caller I can't tell you why, but I can tell you that...

42:06🔗 Adam She dropped the ball.

42:07🔗 Caller If you're talking about the standard of care, most physicians, when they're prescribing an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection, for a UTI, they don't religiously say, what else are you taking? And if they're taking a birth control pill, remember to warn them that at...

42:21🔗 Adam I don't know.

42:21🔗 Caller Why not?

42:21🔗 Adam That sounds like it should be standard practice if you're giving it to a female of a certain age group.

42:27🔗 Caller Right. When you're talking to medical students or residents, you pound it into their heads always. You don't have to get an extensive history of everything but ask the perfect question.

42:38🔗 Adam This was her patient. She prescribed the birth control as well.

42:43🔗 Caller Right.

42:43🔗 Adam Okay, listen. She dropped the ball. This doctor did. But that's fine. You got pregnant, you had it aborted, and that's it. There's nothing. Don't sue her. Well, here's all I'm saying.

42:56🔗 Caller When I hear you say, isn't she responsible? Then I'm wondering where she's going with it.

42:59🔗 Adam Listen, not everyone needs to be paid back all the time. Sometimes mistakes happen. People are healing. That's fine. Everything doesn't need to be made right just because it happened to you. Unless it happens to me. All right, so Bruce, you ready to take a break? You want to tell me about this rave?

43:15🔗 Caller Okay.

43:16🔗 Adam Uh-oh, Anderson's dancing over there like he's in a rave. Come on, he can't tell me about this rave.

43:21🔗 It'll take like 20 minutes.

43:23🔗 Adam That won't take 20 minutes. Take 15.

43:25🔗 Caller Shut Anderson's mic.

43:26🔗 Adam Real quick. 9 p.m. you get there. You don't leave till 9 a.m.?

43:32🔗 Caller Right. This rave was probably one of the larger raves that's occurred. It was down near USC, the three venues. So you could have, you could walk from one to the other.

43:41🔗 Adam What percentage of people are high on something?

43:44🔗 Caller Oh, probably everybody but me.

43:46🔗 Adam Really?

43:47🔗 Caller Well, you know, people are gonna call in and say, oh, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. But really the type of music, the syncopated, lights and everything. Yeah, the light show. It's really set up for that kind of an environment for everyone.

44:02🔗 Adam Everyone's high.

44:03🔗 Caller Right. And ecstasy, ecstasy.

44:05🔗 Adam Did you have to treat people?

44:07🔗 Caller No, I was just wandering around. I didn't treat anybody. Just really talking to people.

44:12🔗 Adam Steped over a few people that were having seizures.

44:14🔗 Caller Steped over a few people that were passed out.

44:17🔗 Adam I see. And you were just talking to everyone, just bumming their high completely. No, no. I met some great people.

44:22🔗 Caller Hi, I'm Dr. Spass.

44:24🔗 Adam I got a notepad. Speaking of the Dictaphone. Spell your last name for me.

44:29🔗 Caller Thank you. I had my digital camera, though. When I would ask them, can I take a picture of your ecstasy? Then they get a little bit nervous about it.

44:37🔗 Adam Yeah, because they think their parents sent you out there.

44:40🔗 Caller But the concern is, just in a nutshell, Anderson.

44:42🔗 Adam Paging Dr. Spass. Dr. Spass.

44:45🔗 Caller Using ecstasy is a little bit scary. And even the people there that are experienced users will acknowledge, we really don't know what the long-term effects are. And okay, I'll stop right there.

44:56🔗 Adam Go ahead, buddy. And?

44:57🔗 Caller And well, not knowing what the long-term effects are, it's really become pretty...

45:01🔗 Adam Paging Dr. Spass.

45:02🔗 Caller It's become pretty mainstream. There are a lot of people using it, and it is a frightening, a frightening thing.

45:07🔗 Adam Sorry, Dr. Spass. Are you cool?

45:09🔗 Caller Yes. Did I make my point?

45:11🔗 Adam Yes. Adam Carolla, Dr. Spass over there, filling in for Dr. Dr. Hermaphrodite.

45:17🔗 Caller You've forgotten his name already.

45:18🔗 Adam Dr. Hermaphrodite. And we'll be back for more Dr. Spass after this.

45:26🔗 Caller Hello?

45:27🔗 Caller This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

45:52🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is my new partner, Dr. Spaz. Our pageant Dr. Spaz.

46:00🔗 Caller Why can't you talk to me the way... During the breaks, we have intelligent conversations, and then you turn into a moron once we're on the air.

46:06🔗 Adam We talked about ecstasy during the break. I mentioned to Dr. Spaz that I'd tried it before. He was worried about all the ravers and that everyone was doing this and the long-term effects. You're worried for the kids, aren't you?

46:23🔗 Caller Yeah, I was trying to feel their pain, but I was feeling their ecstasy instead.

46:27🔗 Adam Have you seen your hair in that pickup truck you drive?

46:30🔗 Caller Ah, thank God, no. You should start worrying about yourself.

46:33🔗 Adam Don't worry about the kids. They're doing fine. Your hair is all over the place in the pickup truck.

46:38🔗 Caller There's an old electromagnetic attraction to the ceiling of the truck.

46:41🔗 Adam Dr. Spaz's truck looks like the truck Fred Sanford used to drive.

46:46🔗 Caller I got it from a guy named Fred.

46:48🔗 Adam All right. Really? How fitting.

46:51🔗 Caller You want to talk about rave safe?

46:53🔗 Adam No. I'll talk a little more about rave. I'll tell you what. Sometime in the 11 o'clock hour, we'll talk a little more about raves. And I'll play the David Allen Grier phone message that he left on my machine.

47:06🔗 Caller Thank you, Adam.

47:06🔗 Twinkie hole, baby.

47:08🔗 Caller Woo!

47:09🔗 Adam David. Hello? You're 13. What's up?

47:12🔗 Caller Hey, what's up, Adam?

47:13🔗 Adam Hey.

47:15🔗 Caller Yeah, my question is, what are the side effects of early age weightlifting, like my age?

47:21🔗 Caller Are we power lifting or what are you doing?

47:24🔗 Caller Just like doing your pressing and stuff.

47:26🔗 Caller Okay. Well, the problem is your growth plates and your bones are open. And if you're doing really heavy competitive lifting, you can damage your vertebrae. You can damage some of your bones. And some of the other things that go along with power lifting and with aggressive weight training, some of the creatine and food additives are not healthy at that age.

47:51🔗 Caller Well, I don't do that stuff.

47:52🔗 I just like lift weights.

47:54🔗 Caller You just lift weights. How much are you pushing it? Are you really pushing it to where you can bench press four times your body weight or?

48:02🔗 Caller I try not to do that unless someone four times my body weights around, you know?

48:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Are you... Will it turn him gay faster? No. Hey, David.

48:13🔗 Caller Yeah?

48:13🔗 Adam Yeah. You're fine. Just warm up and try not to whack your back out too much.

48:19🔗 Caller Yeah, I try to stay away from it, you know?

48:20🔗 Adam And don't pile the weights up too high. Just do your repetitions there and then...

48:25🔗 Caller But things are not as strong or as resistant to really...

48:29🔗 Adam It's fine. No big deal. Kid wants to lift a few weights. He'll be fine. What is this call? Girlfriend is trying to tell him she's pregnant. I like this one better. I want to talk to Brian.

48:42🔗 Caller You know what happens when you go out of my... Your jurisdiction? It's a disaster. Yeah.

48:48🔗 Adam Comedy ensues. Brian?

48:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:50🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

48:52🔗 Caller I was on vacation in California just last week on Christmas vacation. And I went to go see my old buddy in my old hometown. And I met his best friend's friend. All right. I mean, I'm sorry. I met his girlfriend's friend. Her name was Amy. And like, I guess she really liked me. And like we fooled around for about three days while I was in town and we did like everything but have sex. And I told her that I, you know, I wasn't a virgin but I really am.

49:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:24🔗 Caller And then also she was my first kiss too.

49:26🔗 Adam Wow. And hold on, Dr. Spaz, have you had your first kiss yet?

49:32🔗 Caller Seriously.

49:33🔗 Caller Male or female?

49:34🔗 Adam I'm going to guess that 32 years of age.

49:36🔗 Caller He's just a dick.

49:38🔗 Caller Drew, I agree, Adam's a dick.

49:40🔗 Adam All right. So go ahead, Brian.

49:42🔗 Caller Well, and I mean, I, you know, so we fooled around and I didn't, you know, I thought it was pretty cool and she got my email address from me and like a few days later I get an email asking her or she's asked me what I thought about a long distance relationship.

49:56🔗 Adam Yeah. You better go for what you can get, buddy. You're 18. You never kissed a girl?

50:02🔗 Caller No.

50:03🔗 Adam What's up?

50:03🔗 Caller Well, my self-confidence has been shot ever since I was a little kid.

50:07🔗 Adam I see. Who did that to you? Your mom?

50:09🔗 Caller No, I was kind of heavy growing up. Yeah.

50:13🔗 Adam Yeah. That's what it does when you're fat kid growing up. It's really, it's like growing up in a concentration camp.

50:19🔗 Caller Yeah, you're fat. You develop a lot of resiliency though. You can take advantage of it.

50:23🔗 Adam Sure. Especially from the cold.

50:26🔗 Caller So you're not obese at this point?

50:29🔗 Caller I'm doing okay. I'm not, you know, I'm a little overweight.

50:32🔗 Adam Good. That's fine. Listen, buddy, you found someone who found it in her heart to give you what you call a little mercy weekend and you better hang on with both hands.

50:43🔗 Caller But there's a twist.

50:44🔗 Adam Yeah, what twist?

50:45🔗 Caller Well, she, I found out from my friend Eric that she, I mean, like a week before she said that she was like completely in love with a guy that she only knew for two weeks that she fell head over heels for. And I guess he dumped her because he couldn't trust her because she was flirting with his friend. And since I live out of state and she doesn't want to be exclusive, she doesn't want to be exclusive. Yeah. Oh, oh, but she says that she'll be faithful.

51:15🔗 Adam What does that mean? I don't want to be exclusive, but I'll be faithful.

51:19🔗 Caller Like she still wants to go on dates, but not, you know, like our hands to ourselves.

51:24🔗 Adam Listen, what state do you live in?

51:25🔗 Caller I live in Utah.

51:26🔗 Adam And she lives in?

51:28🔗 Caller Cali.

51:29🔗 Adam Yeah. And you're 18?

51:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:31🔗 Caller And she's how old?

51:32🔗 Caller 17. She's turning 18 next month.

51:34🔗 Adam Listen, Husky, you stay in Utah and find yourself a nice Utah, Utarian. You know what I'm saying? This is too big a hassle. It's this long distance at 18, you're going to ride your moped out to California twice a year. It's not going to work. You don't have the means. And she's not in love anyway.

51:53🔗 Caller But I like, I mean, the reason I, I mean, I-

51:56🔗 Adam Brian, Brian, listen to me. Listen to me, spaz. Husky spaz. It's very rare you find a Husky spaz. Brian, listen to me. You know I'm a genius, right?

52:06🔗 Caller Yes, Adam, Adam, you are the savior.

52:08🔗 Adam Thank you. Just because you found someone who would have you in another state doesn't mean you won't find one in your state. I know you're not used to people liking you, but they do like you. You're a good guy. You're on a roll now, brother. Find one in Utah. I know that feeling. He's had no success in his life, so he has one victory and he clings on to it with both hands. No. Stay in Utah. Too far away, California.

52:34🔗 Caller Or else his first experience will be a disaster and he won't trust anyone ever again.

52:38🔗 Adam All right, Dr. Bass.

52:39🔗 Caller We'll be back.

52:43🔗 Dr. Bruce We'll be right back.

52:43🔗 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

53:04🔗 Dr. Bruce 100.7 The Buzz, Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz, KQBC Seattle.

53:29🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is on a ski vacation. Didn't Dr. Drew just have a vacation? That's right. Let me tell you something, kiddies. Let me tell you a little something about commitment. Let me tell you something about love. I get, and how many weeks of vacation do I get each year? Are you asking me? I get five weeks. I get five weeks of vacation every year. And I think I take one and then some scattered days here and there. Yeah, probably two weeks of the five. Wouldn't you say that's about right, Ann? Two weeks? Man, I'd work through the Christmas, but that's when Ann and Dr. Drew, who not only takes his five weeks, he wants the three that I don't use for his vacation that time. And he's actually trying to get to other people's vacation time from their jobs. The guys who work in factories in Michigan. Well, he has to try to buy vacation days off of them.

54:36🔗 Caller He needs to bond with his kids, you know. What do you have to bond with here?

54:39🔗 Adam Are you kidding? Five weeks? But here's the point. I really, I hate work. I'm lazy. I don't like work.

54:47🔗 Caller Adam, this ain't work.

54:48🔗 Adam That's my point. I forget five weeks. I have one is fine with me. I wish I could get paid for those. Aren't there certain jobs where you can get paid when you don't use your vacation time? Yeah. I don't think this is one of them, is it? No. You know what I'd like to do? Because I like the job and I like seeing Drew and I like to guess, I like Ann, I like Anderson, I like coming here. But yet, I don't get paid and I feel like an idiot not using three or four weeks a year that I would be getting paid for, or that I can't be getting paid for, that I should be getting paid for. I think I'm going to take a vacation where I just actually sit in the studio but don't talk.

55:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:29🔗 Adam Wouldn't that be good? I'll just sit in a corner and shake my head when Drew waxes on too long about some medical problem.

55:36🔗 Caller What do you think? I think it's impossible. I don't think you can keep your mouth shut.

55:39🔗 Adam All right. How dare you, Dr. Spaz.

55:41🔗 Caller Give me a break.

55:42🔗 Adam Dr. Spaz filming for Dr. Drew, what? Then next week, too?

55:47🔗 Caller Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Thank God he's coming back a day early. But let me say this. It is work for the physician sitting here because you are taxing.

55:55🔗 Adam Thank you.

55:55🔗 Caller You are abrasive.

55:57🔗 Adam Thank you.

55:58🔗 Caller You are irritating.

55:59🔗 Adam Thank you very much.

56:00🔗 Caller Drew sits holding his head most of the time, not looking at you. There should be a camera in here.

56:06🔗 Adam He's looking at his pager. Okay. We're going to take some more calls and then we'll hear David Allen Grier's phone message you left on my machine. It's not art. It's not genius. I just thought it was funny.

56:20🔗 Caller He's a funny guy.

56:21🔗 Adam He is. He actually is filled with talent, that lad. Yes.

56:26🔗 Caller You guys are together. There's good chemistry.

56:28🔗 Adam Oh, yes. Yes. We did some boxing yesterday, as a matter of fact. He's a pretty good boxer, David Allen Grier is.

56:35🔗 Caller So you guys got out and...

56:37🔗 Adam We didn't box each other. I held the focus mittens for him. Those like catcher mitts and he punched.

56:42🔗 Caller Was this like a photo op? Like a...

56:45🔗 Adam No, he came over to my house. Oh, he brought his bag full of boxing stuff. I had my little timer and everything, and he went down four or five rounds. And I just coached him. He's pretty good. Bruce, you know, the thing that's interesting about you is you use this piece of paper. You pioneered this, Bruce.

57:02🔗 Caller Right.

57:02🔗 Adam Bruce takes a post-it and he sticks it to our computer monitor next to the call that he wants to take.

57:10🔗 Caller That's stroke of genius.

57:11🔗 Adam Which is fine, except for half the time he puts them right in between two calls, which then makes it useless.

57:16🔗 Caller There's one call right there.

57:17🔗 Adam Yeah. There was one call right under that that just dropped off. You had the paper exactly in between line three and line four. Now, which should I take?

57:25🔗 Caller It's done to confuse you, to create.

57:28🔗 Adam Jason?

57:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:29🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

57:31🔗 Caller I wanted to tell you guys that I run dance parties. We don't call them raves. Raves aren't very popular where I live.

57:39🔗 Adam Where do you live?

57:40🔗 Caller I live in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

57:42🔗 Adam I see.

57:44🔗 Caller A river separates us in Detroit.

57:46🔗 Caller Right.

57:49🔗 Caller Raves aren't that popular, but the very few people that do go to them, they're not that popular, but ecstasy is happening. There is LSD there.

58:00🔗 Adam Why aren't raves popular in Canada?

58:03🔗 Caller Well, it's not Canada. When you go to Toronto, it's just a bigger population. We have a population of 200,000 here.

58:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:10🔗 Caller We have 11 high schools, maybe 2,000 kids per high school. We get turnouts at our dance parties of about 600 to 1,000 people almost every week.

58:20🔗 Adam But you were saying that raves aren't popular.

58:22🔗 Caller No. What I do is I throw dance parties, and that's more like a club environment. You're gay.

58:28🔗 Adam I'm asking you, please, Drew, I'm asking you why aren't raves popular?

58:34🔗 Caller It's just the music, because we have a big influence from Detroit. Hip-hop, rap, and R&B has a much bigger impact on the teenagers in Windsor.

58:46🔗 Adam Hold on a second. He has no idea why raves aren't popular, though, right?

58:50🔗 Caller Well, he's making sense, though. I mean, I think in that area, probably the accessibility to the ecstasy and the number of people you need to generate.

58:58🔗 Adam Kids can't get the drugs there. Okay. All right. So you're, you say...

59:02🔗 Caller My competitors that throw dance parties, their competitors are the actual ones that are spreading the drugs around.

59:08🔗 Adam Yes. He's right. That's very interesting. You throw dance parties. You don't like to call them raves because of the association with drugs, right?

59:16🔗 Caller I like to throw like parties where people can just go and have a good time. We promote sex. Like, sex is a big seller and sex gets people in our doors. We have a hot body contest. We got dance competitions. But we really push the hot girls and hot guys.

59:32🔗 Adam Sure. You don't call it a rave because that makes people think of drugs, right?

59:38🔗 Caller No. If I had a rave, I would call it a rave.

59:43🔗 Adam What's the difference between what you do and a rave, then?

59:46🔗 Caller We throw a party from 7 p.m. till 12 a.m. We throw it at a different club.

59:50🔗 Adam So you're having a party?

59:52🔗 Caller Yeah. It's a dance party. 90% of it is rap, hip-hop, R&B.

59:57🔗 Adam Not the techno?

59:58🔗 Caller No. Most of it is not techno. And I think that influence comes mainly from Detroit. The top radio stations are top 40, and those are mainly influenced by, right now, the music.

1:00:11🔗 Caller So your point is you can have a good time not being loaded or whatever?

1:00:16🔗 Caller Of course.

1:00:16🔗 Adam You can have a decent time. You can have a great time. I think that's what his point is. Well, this party breaks up at 12.

1:00:22🔗 Caller You gotta play hockey in the morning at 12.

1:00:24🔗 Adam That's true. Say, hey, we're going ice fishing, and we gotta play some hockey, so let's wrap this party up, eh?

1:00:31🔗 Caller Eh?

1:00:32🔗 Adam All right. But you, Bruce, these raves you go to, 12 o'clock, they're just kicking into second or third gear, right?

1:00:40🔗 Caller Right.

1:00:41🔗 Adam I mean, just getting started, right?

1:00:43🔗 Caller You're ready for your second hit of whatever.

1:00:46🔗 Adam When would you say most raves start at what time? Nine o'clock at night?

1:00:51🔗 Caller No, earlier. Early.

1:00:54🔗 Adam People are in full capacity at what time? Ten o'clock?

1:00:58🔗 Caller Yeah. Where's the thing you're writing on that?

1:00:59🔗 Adam People show up. I was looking at this. Bruce brought in an invitation to his latest rave. It's called the F-Faith, so that they say the whole word. And let's see, what time does this thing start? Yeah, it starts at 9. 9 p.m. to 9 a.m. Hey, you know, listen, I know I had a party and I've had a few good ones in my life, but the 9 a.m. I mean, after the sun's been up for a half hour, 45 minutes, I'm ready to head back home.

1:01:33🔗 Caller Well, you're ready to drive by then.

1:01:35🔗 Adam I see. I see.

1:01:36🔗 Caller It's a sobering up period.

1:01:37🔗 Adam I see. So everyone's got to cool down. Now, is the music pumping at 8 a.m.?

1:01:43🔗 Caller Well, if it's going till 9. Yeah, the one I was at was over at 7 a.m. and it pumped until 7 a.m. Really? Yeah.

1:01:49🔗 Adam And this one says till 9 a.m. Did you just say you were at one from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m.?

1:01:54🔗 Caller Yeah, well, it was over at 7, but I see, you know, doing therapy with people.

1:02:00🔗 Adam No one wanted their money back because it broke up at 7 in the morning instead of 9 in the morning. No, and they would. Now, what's the deal? The place is at full capacity about 10 o'clock and people are in full effect as far as coming on to X and whatever drugs are in their system by what? 11, midnight?

1:02:19🔗 Caller No, by whenever it starts.

1:02:21🔗 Adam Right there, okay. And they're usually going for a second dose sometime around 11 or midnight?

1:02:27🔗 Caller The exact details of that type of thing I don't know, but yeah, usually if you're gonna go for the whole thing, you're gonna re-dose at some point. Right, so, and the issue is most people that go to these have quite a good knowledge of the dangers of these drugs. And one of the big debates now is should there be information disseminated about how to avoid getting into trouble with the drug? And some of you will say disseminating that kind of information promotes use of the drug. Like there's, I think it's called ravesafe.org. And it goes to the extent of you can have the drug tested and it'll give you an analytic report of what's really in it. And there's a huge debate about that. And there are a lot of impurities that can end up in what's supposedly allegedly ecstasy. And some of them are very toxic. The reason people drink lots of water at these and the chance of getting hyperthermia and dehydration is very great. There was a rave in England where 12 people died. The promoters turned up the heat, locked the doors, and they wanted to sell more water. And actually 12 people died because of that. So now there's been a great deal of this.

1:03:30🔗 Adam Did they really do that?

1:03:31🔗 Caller They really did that.

1:03:32🔗 Adam Have they proven that?

1:03:33🔗 Caller Oh yeah. This was, I believe, in, I don't know. It's something that's in the literature. And it really, that event is what really stimulated the movement in raves. The people that were putting these on to disseminate information about how to do it safely. And so as far as, you know, as a physician, there's so many people doing this that I feel that it's better that there's very accurate information. Yeah.

1:04:01🔗 Adam Well, see, look, if I had something that I thought was X, but I decided to get it tested first, like I bought some off a guy, and then I went in there and said to the guys, listen, could you test this? I just want to make sure it's pure. And I handed the guy and he handed it back to me. And he said, listen, this is nothing but baking soda, speed, and baby likes it. If I'd say, okay, give it back to me. I'd just take it anyway. If I paid for it, you know, if I paid for it, I'd take it.

1:04:28🔗 Caller Right.

1:04:28🔗 Adam But you know what I'm saying?

1:04:29🔗 Caller This has saved lives. There's some of the batches. The batches are very large. And when a batch gets out there.

1:04:36🔗 Adam Well, how pure, and listen, give me an answer, would you? Is most of this stuff, when you go to rave and you buy X, are you getting X?

1:04:45🔗 Caller I don't think most people are buying it there. I think most people have it well in advance and they know where they're getting it. And it's smaller.

1:04:52🔗 Adam But it is being sold there, isn't it?

1:04:54🔗 Caller I don't think that's the rule. I think that's the exception. I think most people, and I'm sure somebody will be on them.

1:04:59🔗 Adam You think that's the exception?

1:05:00🔗 Caller Yes.

1:05:01🔗 Adam You don't think you could? Hold on. I've seen these 2020 reports and these things. Listen, while all you kids are raving, I'm home in my underpants on a Friday night at 10 o'clock watching 2020 and learning about the horrors of what you kids are doing. And I know that they go out there and they buy at the rave. Of course they buy at the rave.

1:05:21🔗 Caller Possibly.

1:05:21🔗 Adam What do you mean possibly? Of course, it's like asking if they sell churros at the Rose Bowl.

1:05:27🔗 Caller Well, it's a whole subculture.

1:05:30🔗 Adam Oh, Dr. Spaz, I'm done with you. Yeah, I believe people show up with X and with whatever drugs they're going to take. A lot of the people, but plenty of people score at the rave. And if no one is selling drugs at the rave, I'm going to start selling drugs at the rave because they're going to get rich.

1:05:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I think you're wrong. But you're, you know, this is just you're dating yourself. It's like the generation where you went to a few joints at the East Boys concert.

1:05:55🔗 Adam Listen, they, they, I've seen these things a million times. People, you can't walk through a rave without someone hitting you up.

1:06:03🔗 Caller Somebody tried to buy LSD from me. That was pretty amazing.

1:06:06🔗 Adam People are going to hit you up and want to know, I haven't, well, no one's going to want to sell Dr. Spans any drugs. But I mean, if your average 19 year old, the hip person walked through a rave, people would approach them and try to sell them.

1:06:20🔗 Caller No, I don't think so. I think you're absolutely right.

1:06:23🔗 I used to go back.

1:06:23🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute, Anderson.

1:06:25🔗 Caller We have an expert.

1:06:25🔗 Adam I said hip person, by the way, but go ahead, Anderson.

1:06:28🔗 Thanks, Adam. When I used to go, they'd sell them at the pay points mostly.

1:06:32🔗 Caller Right.

1:06:32🔗 Adam At the pay points, you mean entrance?

1:06:34🔗 Well, you go to one location, you buy the ticket, and then you drive, God knows where, to the next location.

1:06:39🔗 Adam Where the rave was?

1:06:40🔗 Right. You take your drugs on the way over, so by the time you're there, you're high.

1:06:43🔗 Adam Right. Right. So they would sell them, you say, at the pay points, where you bought your tickets?

1:06:48🔗 Right, which is more of a secret location than the actual place, because that's where the cops come and bust it down.

1:06:53🔗 Adam I see. I see. So...

1:06:55🔗 Caller But it's much more mainstream now, and it's the secret location thing is...

1:06:59🔗 Adam But once you're at the rave itself, there wasn't a lot of transactions drug-wise going on there.

1:07:06🔗 Pretty much everyone was high at that point.

1:07:07🔗 Caller Yeah, right. Still that one.

1:07:08🔗 Adam Didn't you still want to get higher later on, or did you bring extra?

1:07:11🔗 One hit of X will do you good until the next day.

1:07:15🔗 Caller It depends on tolerance. Somebody that's been doing it on a regular basis.

1:07:19🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, this is a 12-hour affair here, Anderson.

1:07:24🔗 It's 20 bucks a pop. You're not going to be doing two or three unless you're at a game of three.

1:07:28🔗 Adam First off, I'm a millionaire, literally. So I can afford all the X I want. I got a whole trunkload of X. You want to buy some X?

1:07:34🔗 Caller No. I think the scary thing that we have to mention with this stuff...

1:07:38🔗 Adam I'll tell you the scary thing. Anderson's hanging out at Rave's. That's the scary thing.

1:07:41🔗 He's a user.

1:07:42🔗 Caller All right.

1:07:43🔗 Caller The scary thing is we really don't know what the stuff's doing in the brain. And in some studies now, they've had as little as one dose change the serotonin receptor system as little as one dose. And that, you know, serotonin system depression, we really don't know what's going to happen to people that are using it on a regular basis.

1:08:01🔗 Adam One dose shot from a.38 caliber pistol in a person's ear.

1:08:06🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:08:06🔗 Adam Amanda? You're 20.

1:08:09🔗 Caller Yeah. Um, I have this problem. I moved in with this girl and we've been roommates since September. And I think she's a lesbian, but she totally denies it and she does weird things. And I don't, I don't know, she'll...

1:08:27🔗 Adam What do you mean denies it? Do you accuse her of it?

1:08:29🔗 Caller No, no. She'll like talk about how she's kissed other girls and then she'll go, but I'm not, I'm not gay or anything like that. Okay.

1:08:37🔗 Adam Well, what do you care?

1:08:39🔗 Caller Because I'm living with her.

1:08:40🔗 Caller Okay. Being gay or lesbian, whatever type of gay person you are isn't a disease, is not something... She's not a predator. She's not going to go after you. Maybe, you know, if she is and she's interested, she's hinting around.

1:08:52🔗 Adam Do you think, do you think she's attracted to you?

1:08:55🔗 Caller I think she is. She'll walk around our apartment naked.

1:08:58🔗 Adam Hold on, I got Jack off.

1:09:00🔗 Caller Oh my God, he's doing it.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, that's possible. Where did you meet her?

1:09:06🔗 Caller Back in my hometown.

1:09:08🔗 Adam I see.

1:09:09🔗 Caller We just had met and then she needed a roommate and we moved up to Portland together.

1:09:13🔗 Adam Okay, listen, Amanda, here's the deal. She may be a lesbian and she may be interested in you. I've had gay friends and I think they've been interested in me at some point or another.

1:09:26🔗 Caller You're a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

1:09:27🔗 Adam Thank you. But you want to know what? All you got to do is not blow them and you're fine.

1:09:33🔗 Caller Okay, I don't.

1:09:35🔗 Adam You don't do anything with her and it'll just kind of wear off.

1:09:38🔗 Caller Right.

1:09:39🔗 Adam I mean, look at it this way. There's plenty of heterosexual people who live together. One person has a crush on the other person, but they get over it because they get the impression that the other person is not interested in them.

1:09:51🔗 Caller Right.

1:09:51🔗 Adam That's fine.

1:09:52🔗 Caller It doesn't mean they're going to drop a row of hypnol in your morning coffee.

1:09:54🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. Amber. Amber.

1:10:00🔗 Caller Amber, wake up.

1:10:02🔗 Adam Amber, either.

1:10:02🔗 Caller You fell asleep with the phone there. That's what listening to Loveline does.

1:10:08🔗 Adam Amber. The caller goes by the name of Amber. All right.

1:10:11🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:10:11🔗 Adam You know what? Let's go to another call.

1:10:13🔗 Caller This is a good one.

1:10:14🔗 Adam Yeah. OK. Ryan. Ryan. Hello. You're 15. Yes, that's you.

1:10:20🔗 Caller Yeah. I have my ex-girlfriend and she tells me that she's late on her period. And I'm not quite sure if she's pregnant or not. She gives me the run around saying that she she she doesn't know. She tells me her breasts are sore every now and then. She tests at the doctors and they said they had to take three days to tell her. And I've just been going through a lot of chaos lately.

1:10:53🔗 Adam Yeah, I see. You're a little nervous that she's pregnant.

1:10:56🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:10:57🔗 Adam Are you using any form of birth control?

1:11:01🔗 Caller Other than a condom, no.

1:11:03🔗 Adam Oh, well, the condom would be a form of birth control.

1:11:08🔗 Caller But there were a couple of instances where we didn't use a condom.

1:11:12🔗 Adam I see. Well, this is all you used at that one time. All right. Well, you understand that, Ryan, and where's the semen going when you don't use the condom?

1:11:23🔗 Caller You know, there's one thing that kind of is weird.

1:11:25🔗 Caller I'm not coming. You're not?

1:11:31🔗 Adam What about dripping though? You could be dribbling.

1:11:32🔗 Caller Yeah, that is true.

1:11:34🔗 Adam I am. All right. Well, that can be enough sometimes. Okay. Okay. Listen, I'm going to put Ryan on hold because his phone line is so f'd up. But here's the deal. If you're going to use birth control, you kind of have to use it all the time. Sort of like seat belts. You know, it's a good idea to wear.

1:11:49🔗 Caller Profound.

1:11:50🔗 Adam Good idea to wear most of the time. And she may be pregnant and she may not. This is what happens when you don't use protection and you have a dribbling penis. So you're going to have to wait it out.

1:12:03🔗 Caller You know what? When you're 15, though, it's really... When you start having sex, it tends to complicate your life more than it's worth the whatever.

1:12:12🔗 Adam What would you know about that? That's right. See?

1:12:14🔗 Caller Look how normal I am now.

1:12:16🔗 Adam Dr. Spazzed.

1:12:18🔗 Caller That's what I want to ask the other 15-year-old. She's 15 and one day she has sex with one guy, the next day somebody drops her into the town and she's having sex with another guy. It's usually a sign of having had a problem in the past, a family issue. It's usually more of a sign of a problem. And it causes the...

1:12:34🔗 Adam Oh, please. You've been to these raves. There's lots of 15-year-olds having sex these days.

1:12:39🔗 Caller You have to be 18 to get into a rave anyway.

1:12:41🔗 Adam Well, please. Fake IDs.

1:12:44🔗 Caller Come on.

1:12:44🔗 Caller Right.

1:12:45🔗 Caller All right.

1:12:46🔗 Adam Listen. All he can do is wait. And if she is pregnant, call us back and we'll figure out Plan B. If she's not pregnant, let this motivate you to use some birth control.

1:13:00🔗 Caller Feel the pain.

1:13:01🔗 Caller All right.

1:13:02🔗 Adam You got a call there?

1:13:03🔗 Caller You want to try Amber again?

1:13:04🔗 Adam Not really. Amber? Are you there? Are you talking into your phone?

1:13:10🔗 Yeah.

1:13:10🔗 Adam How come we can barely hear you?

1:13:12🔗 I don't know.

1:13:13🔗 Adam Put the phone right up to your mouth and speak very loudly into it. Is that what you're doing?

1:13:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:21🔗 Adam All right. We got bad lines, so we got to call you back, OK?

1:13:24🔗 Caller OK.

1:13:24🔗 Caller All right.

1:13:26🔗 Adam We're going to take a break. But before we do, I promised the good folks at the K-Rock Promotions Office, the Mother Station out here in fabulous Los Angeles, that I would mention the Supercross series I'm going to Saturday night. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And let me tell you something about this. This is this is a plug, but I was going anyway.

1:13:49🔗 Caller Oh, is this a guy? Last time I was here, he jumped over a house with his motorcycle?

1:13:53🔗 Adam No, that was not him. He's probably in traction in some way. No, this is Jeremy McGrath and company who's been on the show many times. And I am heading out to Anaheim to Edison Field. Oh, yeah, they're promoting me. Supercross, they're kicking off the first, this is the first stop in the tour. This is the 2001 series.

1:14:14🔗 Caller Complete with videos.

1:14:16🔗 Adam I'm telling you, big screens, big boobs, big beers. It is a good time. I'm packing me and four other white trash buddies from the Valley and we are heading out and I got a boner over this.

1:14:29🔗 Caller I wanna go too.

1:14:30🔗 Adam You can't, you wanna go?

1:14:31🔗 Caller I'll hang out with you.

1:14:32🔗 Adam Do you wanna go?

1:14:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:33🔗 Adam It's in Anaheim, how far is that from Redlands?

1:14:36🔗 Caller 45 minutes.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Is it closer than the sun?

1:14:38🔗 Caller My wife's gone for the weekend. I wanna go. Really? Yeah.

1:14:41🔗 Adam Do you wanna go? Yeah. She gotta meet us there. We're not gonna pull up with you. I mean, you understand, right?

1:14:45🔗 Caller I don't want you going in my neighborhood. Then I'll really have the neighbors. He's just a dick.

1:14:48🔗 Adam Do you wanna go out there?

1:14:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:50🔗 Adam All right, because we're...

1:14:52🔗 Caller Can I take my digital camera?

1:14:53🔗 Adam Yeah, but don't spaz out too much.

1:14:55🔗 Caller Okay.

1:14:56🔗 Adam Have you been to one of these things? It's crazy. It's crazy.

1:15:00🔗 Caller It's loud, there's a lot of dirt flying around.

1:15:02🔗 Adam These guys are getting 30 feet of air under them, and I'm talking about a three-story building underneath their tires when they're in the air, and that ain't one time. You know, you go watch Evil Can Evil jump, he makes one jump, and then the ambulance scoops him up and drags him away somewhere. This is every lap. Oh, the triple jumps. Some guys can clear the center one, and some guys can't. You know what I mean? There's three jumps, and some of them use the third jump as a landing ramp, and other guys can't make it, and if you land half way, that's bad times.

1:15:35🔗 Caller But how much is technology? When I was in college, we used to ride these things, and my girlfriend's brother raced, and the old Husqvarna's and stuff like that. I think the bikes today, they can also do a lot more.

1:15:45🔗 Adam Listen, the bikes today are everything's aluminum, disc-bright, water-cooled, mono-shock suspension. There's 13 inches of travel between the rear tire and the rear fender. It's all about suspension.

1:16:01🔗 Caller Have you looked at one of those old ones now and compared to the new ones? I was looking at an old one in some shots. Unbelievable the difference.

1:16:07🔗 Adam Well, you probably rode an old Bulltaco or something.

1:16:11🔗 Caller Right, right, Husqvarna.

1:16:13🔗 Adam Laid down shocks in the back. Yeah, no, that's a mess. You can't do that stuff on those bikes.

1:16:19🔗 Caller Well, what did that evil fly over things with an old Harley Davidson?

1:16:24🔗 Adam Evil Knievel jumped like a stock Harley Davidson. It was almost from the showroom floor. He was... You want to know what makes Evil Knievel evil Knievel. His bike was like taking a street bike and trying to get 80 feet of air and it's just basically a street Harley which is total insanity. I mean if you ever watch those videos or Jeremy McGrath or any of that super bike stuff. I mean these guys are riding... It'd be like... It'd be the equivalent of like entering a Lexus in the Baja 500.

1:16:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:00🔗 Adam You know what I mean? Like that's what truly made him nuts. He was jumping almost a street bike over 15 buses.

1:17:07🔗 Caller Yeah. But the old AMF Harleys, right? It's like landing on a...

1:17:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:17:11🔗 Caller No travel.

1:17:12🔗 Adam Nothing.

1:17:12🔗 Caller Alright.

1:17:13🔗 Adam Do you want to go?

1:17:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:14🔗 Adam Saturday night. Edison Field.

1:17:15🔗 Caller Alright.

1:17:16🔗 Adam Alright. In Anaheim. Seriously.

1:17:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:18🔗 Adam You'll be there?

1:17:18🔗 Caller I will be there.

1:17:19🔗 Caller Alright.

1:17:19🔗 Adam I'm gonna get you a ticket.

1:17:21🔗 Caller I will be there.

1:17:22🔗 Caller Alright.

1:17:22🔗 Adam We'll be back.

1:17:45🔗 Dr. Bruce Got that burning sensation? Listen to Loveline.

1:17:49🔗 Adam Loveline.

1:17:49🔗 Caller Some of the callers you hear on Loveline are so messed up, all you can do is laugh. Adam Corolla explains. Listen, you guys think he's all screwed up, right?

1:17:57🔗 Adam Yeah, everyone who calls this show is somewhere between retard and super-tard. Basically, is how it goes, you know? They make points that don't have a point.

1:18:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Loveline. Weeknights at 10 on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:18:15🔗 Hi, I'm Mike Cameron of the Seattle Mariners. I think some people look at an athlete and think, wow, your life is so different from mine. I still face the same challenges that any parent faces when raising children. I don't know any more of the answers than you do. I do know, however, that the most important thing I can do for my children is stay involved in their lives.

1:18:38🔗 Caller A message from the Washington State Division of Child Support on 1-800-457-6202.

1:18:45🔗 Dr. Bruce You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7 The Buzz.

1:19:01🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Bruce. You know him as Dr. Spaz. Filming for Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'll see you Saturday night, brother.

1:19:12🔗 Caller Take me to the auto show, man.

1:19:13🔗 Adam No, I can't.

1:19:15🔗 Caller The whiz is going?

1:19:16🔗 Adam I'm going, the wheeze. I'm going to the auto show tomorrow night, and then to the Supercross race Saturday night.

1:19:23🔗 Caller Can I solicit the listeners for a VIP pass?

1:19:25🔗 Adam This is a high octane weekend, everybody. Oh, I am pumped. I am so pumped. I really am pumped. This is what people hate about me. I am pumped.

1:19:38🔗 Caller Listen, my life is away for the weekends. I don't work on those stupid chapters that I'm doing with Drew. So listen, I'm gone.

1:19:44🔗 Adam I'll see you Saturday night, but not Friday night. I can't get tickets for that. Yeah, I only got tickets for myself.

1:19:49🔗 Caller Yeah, you just don't like me.

1:19:50🔗 Adam That's well, that's true. Chris? Oh, for Christ's sake.

1:19:58🔗 Caller Oh, we're putting him to sleep.

1:20:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:00🔗 Caller Oh, he already masturbated. That's fine. Okay.

1:20:03🔗 Adam All right. We'll put him back on hold over there. He got a caller. Hey, Bruce. Seriously, do you have a laser you can bring in here?

1:20:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:12🔗 Adam You do? Sure.

1:20:13🔗 Caller What do you want?

1:20:13🔗 Adam Bruce uses lasers to remove tattoos, hair, all that kind of stuff.

1:20:18🔗 Caller Great fun.

1:20:19🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. I don't need anything.

1:20:22🔗 Caller Oh, please.

1:20:23🔗 Adam I don't.

1:20:23🔗 Caller Let's start with hair removal.

1:20:25🔗 Adam I don't have hair on my back. Contrary to popular belief, my back is bare.

1:20:32🔗 Caller How about the forest on your butt? What time do you describe losing a gecko in there?

1:20:37🔗 Adam That's something you could work on. I do have some hair on my ass.

1:20:40🔗 Caller I will not touch the grass.

1:20:41🔗 Adam You could get down there. Oh, you've been there before. Susie?

1:20:44🔗 Caller Hello? What was that?

1:20:48🔗 Adam That was my ass exploding when you fired a laser at it. You're 19. What's up?

1:20:54🔗 Caller I saw the doctor, Bruce, at the rave.

1:20:57🔗 Adam Oh, you did?

1:20:58🔗 Caller Yes. Do you remember me, Susie?

1:20:59🔗 Caller Yeah. How are you doing?

1:21:01🔗 Caller Good. How are you?

1:21:02🔗 Caller Good. You can vouch for my sobriety at the rave.

1:21:04🔗 Caller Yeah. You were definitely sober, but I was going to tell you that you said that everybody has to be 18 to get into a rave.

1:21:09🔗 Caller Well, they're supposed to be.

1:21:10🔗 Caller Oh, because I've been to a couple and I've never, and that kind of shocked me. I saw like 12 year olds and they don't ever check your age. Well, at the 10 or 12 that I've been to.

1:21:20🔗 Adam Was Bruce hitting on the 12 year olds?

1:21:22🔗 Caller No, I actually, but I went and started.

1:21:25🔗 Adam Oh, geez, with the F word. What happened? Anderson knocked her off the air because she just blatantly used the F word. And in a way, she didn't really have to either. All right.

1:21:41🔗 Caller Oh, what a judgmental guy.

1:21:43🔗 Adam Hey, listen, one of the hallmarks of stupidity is not being able to stop yourself from using profanity.

1:21:50🔗 Caller Even Loveline has standards, folks. Ah, all right.

1:21:53🔗 Adam It's a radio show. You can't say the F word. And you really have to be stupid to not be able to catch that in yourself. Yes, you do. Of course. It is one of the hallmarks of being stupid. It's not knowing where you are and who you're talking to.

1:22:11🔗 Caller How come?

1:22:12🔗 Adam What? Let me see some. Susie, she's still there? Listen, goofball.

1:22:17🔗 Caller I know, I know.

1:22:17🔗 Caller You got spanked.

1:22:18🔗 Adam That stuff has affected your brain. Now, were you at the rave that was January 5th?

1:22:25🔗 Caller No, not the 5th. New Year's Eve.

1:22:26🔗 Caller Today, tomorrow's the 5th. How could she be?

1:22:28🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Oh, that's right. Well, you handed me this flyer. You said it's the one you went to.

1:22:33🔗 Caller No, I didn't. I said they handed that out at the one I went to.

1:22:35🔗 Adam Oh, I just read the date on the bottom. All right. You were at the one on New Year's. And did you talk to Bruce for a while?

1:22:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:43🔗 Caller You remember?

1:22:44🔗 Adam Were you high?

1:22:45🔗 Caller Yes.

1:22:46🔗 Adam Were you freaking out talking to a doctor all high?

1:22:48🔗 Caller No, not at all. It was just interesting because he had a video camera. I was just wondering what he was doing there.

1:22:53🔗 Adam Bruce, what were you doing with the video camera?

1:22:56🔗 Caller For lectures.

1:22:57🔗 Caller I remember him telling me about writing that chapter in the book with the doctor.

1:23:00🔗 Adam Doesn't she have to get clearance from people?

1:23:02🔗 Caller You're filming when they're all amped up?

1:23:03🔗 Caller That's what I was wondering. I've seen a lot of people with video cameras at Raze.

1:23:07🔗 Caller There was more just crowd shots and stuff like that.

1:23:10🔗 Adam All right, Suzy. What do you do? Go to junior college?

1:23:15🔗 Caller Yeah, College of the Canyon.

1:23:17🔗 Adam That's what I figured. So how's that going? You're on the 15 year plan over there?

1:23:23🔗 Caller No, I'm 30 units and I'm halfway done. I have 30 more units to go.

1:23:27🔗 Caller So most of the people that go to the Raze, what do you think they're just sort of normal people, students and stuff like that?

1:23:33🔗 Caller There's a lot of people there and they're all different. There's some intelligent people and some young people who are just high out of their minds.

1:23:39🔗 Caller But it seems like it's more mainstream than it used to be.

1:23:42🔗 Caller Yes, it's very, very mainstream.

1:23:44🔗 Caller And it's become like every weekend.

1:23:46🔗 Caller I just can't believe how many people go and how popular it is.

1:23:49🔗 Adam Do you meet guys there?

1:23:50🔗 Caller No, I don't meet guys there.

1:23:52🔗 Adam What do you go for?

1:23:53🔗 Caller Just to dance and actually just to be comfortable in a place where everybody else is just as high as you are.

1:24:00🔗 Adam Okay. Couldn't you just get a couple of friends and get really high and stay home?

1:24:03🔗 Caller Yeah, there's a couple. It's not the same.

1:24:05🔗 Caller Not the same.

1:24:06🔗 Caller Thousands of people on the same level as you.

1:24:08🔗 Caller Do you think a lot of people are concerned about the long term effects of the ecstasy?

1:24:11🔗 Caller No, I don't think a lot of people are.

1:24:13🔗 Caller Are you?

1:24:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I am. I haven't gone to that many. I've gone to maybe 10 or 12. I'm trying to keep count of how many times I've taken.

1:24:21🔗 Caller How about the depression after you've taken the ecstasy?

1:24:23🔗 Caller I haven't really experienced that, but I'm kind of a depressed person, so maybe I just didn't.

1:24:28🔗 Adam Can you buy X at the rave?

1:24:30🔗 Caller Oh yeah, and that's another thing I was going to say. I remember Bruce saying that there's not that many people who sell them there, and a lot of people do, I know, bring it with them, but there's a lot of people who sell it there.

1:24:38🔗 Adam Of course.

1:24:38🔗 Caller Like Adam was saying, there's a lot of people who sell it. Of course, yeah.

1:24:42🔗 Adam You want to know the torture of being me?

1:24:45🔗 Caller What?

1:24:45🔗 Adam I'm right, but I've never been to a rave. Bruce has worked 150 of them, and I have to tell them what goes on at a rave.

1:24:52🔗 Caller Wait a second. What would you say the exception and the rule? I get more, do more people buy it?

1:24:57🔗 Caller Yeah, that's true. More people bring it, like you said, way ahead of time, they have it.

1:25:01🔗 Adam Yes.

1:25:02🔗 Caller Thank you, Suzy.

1:25:02🔗 Adam You were basically telling me that I couldn't score at a rave.

1:25:06🔗 Caller No, but you could definitely score.

1:25:07🔗 Adam Definitely.

1:25:08🔗 Caller There's people, you'll hear the word X and doses and everywhere you go, people are trying to get you to buy something.

1:25:13🔗 Caller Anderson, Anderson, play back exactly what I said. I didn't say that.

1:25:18🔗 Adam Listen, listen, he couldn't do that if he wanted to, as he's old.

1:25:21🔗 Caller I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:25:23🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I remember.

1:25:25🔗 Caller Remembering his name.

1:25:25🔗 Adam Listen, you jackhole, I was saying that you could easily score there and there's plenty going around and you said, no, it's not being sold there. People bring it, they get high before they go. And that it's not being passed out there, please. See, this is the torture. Really, it's the torture that is my life.

1:25:44🔗 Caller Oh, listen, Drew's age, Drew's age, infinitely more than he would.

1:25:49🔗 Adam Such a burden, knowing so much more than everyone else. Liz?

1:25:53🔗 Yeah.

1:25:54🔗 Adam You're 19.

1:25:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:55🔗 Adam What's up?

1:25:57🔗 Caller I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and he really wants to have sex with me, but he's still a virgin and he's 20 and I'm not a virgin. But and I feel bad. OK, like I'm going back to school in March and I don't want to have sex with him because I'm afraid that I'll like hurt him when I leave for school. Like he'll get too attached because like I'm bored or whatever.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Boy, are you not into him?

1:26:28🔗 Caller I mean, I don't know.

1:26:29🔗 Adam No, you're not into it. Why don't you?

1:26:31🔗 Caller I can go and have sex with any guy and not be into him and I'm fine with it. But this guy I think I am into and that's why I won't do it because I actually care about him.

1:26:40🔗 Adam Where's daddy?

1:26:41🔗 Caller He's right upstairs in his bedroom.

1:26:44🔗 Adam Upstairs in heaven?

1:26:46🔗 Caller No.

1:26:46🔗 Adam He died of an OD when you were four?

1:26:48🔗 Caller No. I am the only person in my family that has ever done any drugs.

1:26:53🔗 Adam I see. Do you love your daddy?

1:26:57🔗 Caller In a family, I love my dad.

1:27:00🔗 Adam Platonic kind of way.

1:27:02🔗 Caller Yes.

1:27:02🔗 Caller What's your communication like with him? What was it like when you were growing up? Were you real close?

1:27:07🔗 Caller I've actually been closer with my dad than with my mom.

1:27:09🔗 Adam I see. Anything that you lose, anything, anyone be taken away from you growing up? Anyone disappoint you?

1:27:16🔗 Caller No.

1:27:16🔗 Caller Okay, here's an issue.

1:27:18🔗 Adam Go ahead then.

1:27:18🔗 Caller But here's one of the issues. First of all, it's good that you have a conscience and that you're worried about what you're worried about because it is true. When you have sex with someone, there are ties there that you don't realize and he will be attached and it will affect him negatively if you don't continue to relate to him.

1:27:35🔗 Adam Well, the guy's 20. Throw him a bone. He's a virgin for Christ's sake.

1:27:38🔗 Caller No, that's not throwing a bone. That's throwing a wrench in the works. But here's the thing.

1:27:41🔗 Adam Now, since one is having a vagina toss at your penis like ring toss, throwing a wrench in the works. I wish someone had tossed some wrenches my way when I was 20.

1:27:49🔗 Caller They tossed a wrench and it hit you in the head I think when you were 20. But what I'm concerned about with Liz is the fact that you say that you have had lots of guys and it's nothing, it doesn't affect you. And if it doesn't affect you, then the reverse is true. Then there's a real problem there because when you want to achieve real intimacy with somebody and have a long-term relationship, you may find that there are problems with maintaining.

1:28:10🔗 Adam I agree with Dr. Spaz. Liz, what's up with you? There's a little distance you're having from intimacy.

1:28:16🔗 Caller Well, no, no, it's not like I've had sex with like 50 people or something. I mean, no, it's pretty normal. I think I'm pretty normal for like an average 19 year old.

1:28:24🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying what's up with you in that you're a little bit freaked by relationships.

1:28:32🔗 Caller Basically, like the school I'm going to is really weird. And I'm not really in one place for a long period of time. I'm moving all over the place every six months.

1:28:43🔗 Adam Because the school you go to is cool for a clown school.

1:28:48🔗 Caller It's a cooking school.

1:28:50🔗 Adam I see. I see. All right. You'll be working IHOP at five years. Liz, look, if you like the guy, see what happens. Don't question yourself. Don't think down the road that far. You're attracted to him. You like the guy. You know he doesn't have herpes.

1:29:10🔗 Caller And once you have sex with him, that's going to change the nature of your interaction. And now he's going to be, he's never had sex before they have sex. He's going to be, it complicates it.

1:29:19🔗 Adam Listen, I worry a little about a woman who says, I like this guy, but I don't want to become intimate with him because I don't want to have a bond with him. That's a little, that means there's a little something up.

1:29:30🔗 Caller I think she realizes that what it means to him is more normal.

1:29:34🔗 Adam No, shush hole, shush hole. Richard?

1:29:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:39🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:29:41🔗 Caller Hey, it's kind of a weird question.

1:29:43🔗 Adam All right, well, hold on then. We can talk.

1:29:47🔗 Caller It's a weird question is something you're saying, hold on.

1:29:50🔗 Adam Well, we got to go to break. And I get the feeling that could take him about 20 minutes to get spitted out. So we'll take ourselves a little break and then we'll come back and then we'll hear Richard's weird, weird question.

1:30:02🔗 Caller And then Amber called back. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:30:04🔗 Adam What's up with her?

1:30:06🔗 Caller She was asleep for a while and then the phone was screwed up.

1:30:08🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. All right.

1:30:09🔗 Caller So we'll be a break.

1:30:11🔗 Adam We'll get back with Richard after this.

1:30:16🔗 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce, aka Dr. Spaz, filling in for Dr. Drew, who is skiing on a much-needed vacation. I mean, to be fair to the guy, he was off for 12 days, and then he came back and worked a whole two days, and, you know, he's earned his vacation.

1:31:06🔗 Painful erection that will not go away.

1:31:08🔗 Adam Put in 12, put in four hours, and now he's heading out again.

1:31:13🔗 Caller He's probably getting CME credits at a medical meeting.

1:31:16🔗 Adam No, he's skiing, I hear. I don't know where he went skiing. Does anyone know where he went skiing, Ann?

1:31:24🔗 Caller Don't tell.

1:31:25🔗 Adam Really?

1:31:26🔗 Caller Stalker, I mean.

1:31:27🔗 Adam Mountain High? No, that ain't him. Please. He's probably... Is he snowboarding or skiing? He's probably in the Swiss Alps somewhere, being, you know, airlifted on to some peak somewhere.

1:31:40🔗 Caller I see him more in a snowboard than in skis.

1:31:42🔗 Adam No, no. That's by the way, growing up, that was the difference between the loser kids and the winner families. The families that went on the ski vacations, those were the rich families. And the kids who just sat in a pile of dirt in the valley, those are the poor families. Like that ski vacation. You know you've arrived when you're going on a ski vacation. Know what I'm saying? Did you go on any ski vacations growing up?

1:32:13🔗 Caller When I was growing up, the guys that skied at all were the rich families and the poor guys. We'd ski on the side of the Northern State Parkway on Long Island and we'd have snurfers, you know, you have your big heavy snow boots on and a rope at the end of this board.

1:32:25🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:26🔗 Caller The guy that could jump into the parkway between cars, that was all the way down there.

1:32:31🔗 Adam I had a piece of a refrigerator box in a side of a hill in silver light because we didn't have snow. Like that's how you know, like when you have really lazy parents and you grow up in a place where there's no snow, you'll never see the snow.

1:32:46🔗 Caller No.

1:32:46🔗 Adam Because they'll be god damned if they're going to haul you an hour and a half out the hill. You know what I'm saying? So I had my friend, I've had friends that grow up in the valley, like they saw snow for the first time in their 28. I swear to god, like they hooked up with some, some chick and went out to visit her in Connecticut or something and saw some snow. But my, my, my, my, it was like, they were like landlocked. They were my valley buddies.

1:33:14🔗 Caller People not from California, you're describing extreme depravation. Not seeing snow, not seeing snow since the mountains are like, you know, well, you're, you're living in the valley.

1:33:24🔗 Adam That's right. You're good. They're 45 minutes, maybe to be fair to the parents, you're an hour and 15 minutes away from the snow.

1:33:31🔗 Caller Right.

1:33:32🔗 Adam The closest snow when you live in Southern California, you live in the San Fernando Valley, an hour and a half. Right.

1:33:38🔗 Caller Right.

1:33:38🔗 Adam Which was a huge, huge sacrifice between me and my like 15 valley friends. One of us had seen it like once. It's like somebody's uncle blew into town and rented a car and took them took them up there once.

1:33:51🔗 Caller So after you have to get the empty refrigerator box for Christmas, you can use it to slide around them.

1:33:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:56🔗 Adam Slide down the grass hill. Amber.

1:33:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:59🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:34:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:00🔗 Adam All right. So what's up?

1:34:02🔗 Caller I was seeing a guy and I introduced him to my best friend and he dumped me. And I think he's going out with my best friend. Yeah.

1:34:12🔗 Adam That could have happened.

1:34:14🔗 Caller Should I confront him or should I confront her?

1:34:17🔗 Adam How old is the guy?

1:34:19🔗 Caller 17.

1:34:20🔗 Adam And he was your boyfriend?

1:34:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:22🔗 Adam Was he really your boyfriend?

1:34:24🔗 Caller We were going out for like two months.

1:34:27🔗 Adam Two months. Were you having sex?

1:34:29🔗 Caller No.

1:34:30🔗 Adam Why not?

1:34:31🔗 Caller Because he's normal.

1:34:33🔗 Adam Why not?

1:34:34🔗 Caller I don't.

1:34:35🔗 Caller You shouldn't do that.

1:34:36🔗 Caller You don't do that.

1:34:37🔗 Caller That's fine to say.

1:34:38🔗 Adam That's what happens. Now, if I talked to him and said, was Amber your girlfriend, would he say yes? Or would he say, yeah, she was a girl I was going out with. I was dating.

1:34:48🔗 Caller I don't know. Now, are you upset because you wanted him to be more upfront and honest and tell you first and break up and then start another relationship or are you just angry?

1:34:57🔗 Adam Oh, shut up.

1:34:58🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't even know what he wanted.

1:35:00🔗 Adam Do you? Do you? No, your feelings are hurt. Listen, it's both. And what about this friend? Obviously, you're hurt that she would do this too, right? Yeah. Here's the thing, Amber. And here's the thing to everyone. Every woman listening. Women do this all the time. You know what they do? They do this. They go, it's not that you had an affair with my best friend. It's that you lied. You lied about it. That's why I'm angry. It's that you had an affair. No, it's that you had an affair. Of course you lied. You have to lie. And she'll say the same thing to her best friend. It's not that you're dating the man I was dating. It's that you lied to me. You lied to my best friend. Well listen, everybody lies. If I was boinking one of my friend's girlfriends and he asked me, you're goddamn right. I'd be lying 20 minutes after I was in the car and driving away without being lying to myself. Just lying, openly lying. I'd lie to the next hundred people I saw just to play it safe.

1:36:03🔗 Caller But it's still not okay.

1:36:04🔗 Adam No, it's not okay. But Amber, Amber, you need to call, you need to talk to your friend and ask her and tell her, listen, it just hurts my feelings.

1:36:12🔗 Caller But, and the other thing is at 16, this is real normal behavior.

1:36:17🔗 Adam That's right.

1:36:17🔗 Caller It's when you're in a relationship, two months is a long time. Seems like there's a real commitment there. And when somebody does something like this, your feelings are hurt. Extremely hurt.

1:36:27🔗 Adam Happens to everybody.

1:36:27🔗 Caller Feel horrible.

1:36:29🔗 Adam And happens to the best. Bruce, Bruce was telling me off the air when he was in high school, he was dating a beanbag chair for first semester and a half. And that the beanbag ended up taking off with your dad's ottoman. Was that true? Bruce was heart, Bruce was heartbroken. He was forced to hump the sofa now. But the point is, is it made him stronger. He got over it.

1:36:54🔗 Caller Don't project your adolescent pathology on me. You are the person that had sexual relationships with animal objects such as steaks and melons and whatever else I know that you've done.

1:37:05🔗 Adam Steaks?

1:37:06🔗 Caller And these food groups that you discussed.

1:37:08🔗 Adam Please, no. I'll tell you what. You know what? We should hear this, this David Allen Grier call that I built up way too much. So, it's only mildly entertaining. I just thought it was funny. Now, let me just set it up. David Allen Grier and I had been boxing. I used to teach boxing and I was working out with him a little bit. He's a decent boxer. And we were going back and forth, holding the mitts for each other. We did this for a few weeks. And I was saying, hey, you know, you're getting pretty good at this. And he was really getting into it. And I said, let's make a regular thing out of this. So I called him and he said, yeah, we'll do it next week. And I called him. He didn't call me back. And then I called him again. And he didn't call me back. And he was giving me the blow-off. And I was angry. So I called him a third time. And I left a message basically talking about what an a-hole he was. And how I'm not accustomed to calling people back because I'm literally a millionaire. And I'm not gonna chase his sorry ass around to teach him how to box. He should be chasing my ass around because I'm the instructor.

1:38:11🔗 Caller Ooh, he tapped into your insecurity.

1:38:13🔗 Adam So he called back and left this message on my machine.

1:38:17🔗 Caller Saturday, December 30th at 8:42 a.m. Hey, Adam Carioca.

1:38:24🔗 Caller Listen, this is David Avalier. Let's try and get some levity in our little voicemail message there, pal. Pull us to cut your ass and breathe, my friend. Happy Kwanzaa, black brother. Listen, I'm ready to whoop your monkey ass come near 2001. So bring your little midi mitts and we're gonna beat you down. Now, look at you, buddy, love. One quick note. Uh, I thought you were gonna tie me up with that bag, man. See how you do?

1:38:54🔗 Caller See how you do?

1:38:55🔗 Caller You bastard. All right. Listen, have a great holiday. I will be back on the first and we will definitely hook up. My work schedule has lightened considerably. All right.

1:39:07🔗 Adam I thought that many guys like that. Thought of many got a show can. Yeah.

1:39:11🔗 Caller A little humility there.

1:39:12🔗 Adam But you know what? He didn't get a show canceled. They just fulfilled this order and he's got a few more.

1:39:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:39:17🔗 Adam Well, anyway, we we talk to you like a brother there.

1:39:20🔗 Caller You guys have connected on some level. I think that's good.

1:39:23🔗 Adam He he wants his midi mitts. Those are the things.

1:39:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:39:26🔗 Adam Punches. And he wants his water heavy bag. I told him I was going to order for him. He called me yesterday. I want to know where I got my dishwasher because he wants one of those.

1:39:37🔗 Caller Oh, your place. Listen, it's one of those fancy places.

1:39:40🔗 Adam That's right. More button.

1:39:41🔗 Caller There are buttons. I don't know what to do with it. Your sink.

1:39:43🔗 Adam That's right. All right, Big Bruce. We're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:39:48🔗 Caller Can I chew some gum now?

1:39:49🔗 Adam That's right. We'll be back after this. Well, there you go. Another fabulous half week of Loveline in the can. And be fair to Dr. Drew. He did stick around for the first day and a half, and then he split. Dr. Spaz will be in here, filling in for Dr. Lazy.

1:40:30🔗 Caller Don't give me that look. Give an 800 number for Tattoo Removal.

1:40:34🔗 Adam Paging Dr. Spaz, Dr. Spaz. Please see Dr. Lazy on the ski slope. All right. Now, don't give that number out.

1:40:41🔗 Caller No, for the free Tattoo Removal, not for my own services.

1:40:45🔗 Adam I'll give it out on Sunday.

1:40:46🔗 Caller Okay.

1:40:47🔗 Adam All right. I want to thank Producer Ann for doing a wonderful job. Even though she has one foot in the grave, she's sick. She's coming here tonight just to say hi to Dr. Spaz.

1:40:59🔗 Caller She's a breath of fresh air in a scale environment.

1:41:02🔗 Adam She really is. I really want to thank Lauren for doing a great job on lead phones and had coffee all week.

1:41:11🔗 Caller And Anderson's sick. He came in sick.

1:41:13🔗 Adam Anderson always claims to be sick. It's the way he gets it. It's his excuse for not doing his job.

1:41:17🔗 Caller You know, he's going to be a great figure, a huge figure in the movie industry. He'll be one to reckon with. And you'll wait 10 years from now, you'll be groveling at his feet.

1:41:27🔗 Adam He'll be one of these crazy guys who never gets out of his bathrobe, can cite every line from every movie ever made, but nobody cares. All right.

1:41:35🔗 Caller At least I won't be a blowhard, though.

1:41:37🔗 Adam But he won't be a blowhard. Although you do have, no, you don't have blowhard potential. You're white, you're a little too young, and you need to put on a couple more pounds, and you don't talk enough. But he's pierced. But you still could, no, and he can't be pierced and be a blowhard either.

1:41:53🔗 Caller You think I don't talk, but that's just because you never shut up when you're around.

1:41:56🔗 Adam I quite don't, I gotta finish the show. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Spaz. Say mahalo.

1:42:02🔗 Caller I've had anal sex and I passed out a couple of times.

1:42:06🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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