10:33🔗
Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That's my partner.
10:37🔗
I'm a buddy, my pal, my bro.
10:42🔗
Big Dr. Drew, everybody.
10:44🔗
What are you, Steve?
11:03🔗
All righty.
11:06🔗
Drew
Somebody sent us some popcorn. Sarah Roberts and John White. My Washington's nice. And a can for you to crap on. Once we're done with the popcorn.
11:17🔗
Adam
I make my own popcorn balls. It's got that nice lid that snaps on. Oh, and it's it's convex. I got a little extra Duke room in there.
11:43🔗
Adam
Well, you bring it in tomorrow when it's extra stale. Uh, do you get any presents in the mail today? I got another beers of the world thing.
11:54🔗
Adam
Yeah. That's it for me. I got enough booze, enough dried goods, enough cheese and salami to last me well through the New Year.
12:03🔗
Adam
No, I just got into it. You know, the thing about salami, little salami goes a long way, especially, that's a little peppery, that's a lot of every fatty and the density of like, uh, yeah, you know, yeah. Now with black hole, now with six cows, it's actually stuffed six whole cows and it's foot long salami. Me and Drew got it and it seemed kind of raw too. I, did you notice that?
12:43🔗
Yeah?
12:46🔗
Caller
Well, I walked home, I walked in on my brother having sex with my girlfriend the other day and I haven't been able to consult my brother about it.
12:59🔗
Caller
Well, I came home from a friend's house and walked in and I just saw my brother having sex with my girlfriend.
13:14🔗
This was Saturday.
13:20🔗
Adam
That's a damn lie and you know it. Hold on. Who's banging? In what universe are you banging your brother's boyfriend, brother's girlfriend who lives in the same house with you, that is your brother, with the door open?
13:45🔗
Adam
You're having sex with your brother's girlfriend, and you don't shut the door to your room? Get a little deeper. What line was he on? Three. Tony?
13:57🔗
Yeah.
14:28🔗
Beth.
14:30🔗
Tim.
14:46🔗
Caller
They just got up and my girlfriend put her clothes on and left. And then my brother started yelling at me.
15:15🔗
Adam
Yeah, I don't believe that. Or maybe he's got a tumor or something. He could be insane. All right. Well, anyway, you break up with your girlfriend, right?
15:31🔗
Adam
Yeah. I don't know if you're going to get a whole lot of satisfaction out of this one and your brother. He should know that he owes you.
15:48🔗
Adam
How high do you have to be to have your brother across the street, hanging out at somebody's house, right?
16:02🔗
Drew
Because we would be talking about something far more serious, like my brother's a serial murderer and listen to what else he did. You know what I mean? It just doesn't happen out of context like this.
16:20🔗
Adam
His girlfriend's out, fine. Brother, I don't know. There's not that much you can do. I mean, he knows he done wrong. He's an A-hole. You get a crack at one of his girlfriends one day.
16:45🔗
Yeah, he's pretty big.
16:52🔗
All right.
16:57🔗
Drew
All right, well then this may be conceivably part of addiction, but I would expect to see still much more bizarre behavior.
17:18🔗
Yeah.
17:23🔗
He's done it before.
17:24🔗
Adam
Erectile. Erectile threat. Watch out. He's a man of few words, but he lets his ass do his talking.
17:34🔗
Caller
Me and my girlfriend are going home. We plan to have sex for the first time next week. And it's my first time, but it's not her first time. And I'm like, tiny nervous about going with.
18:07🔗
Adam
All right, let's talk about that, Drew. He's had oral sex with a man, but he's never been intimate with a woman before. What do you think of that?
18:15🔗
Adam
I see. Listen, don't keep denying it. It just digs in deeper. Was this a long-term boyfriend, or is this just a one-night thing at a bar?
18:33🔗
Adam
No, that's a head start, pardon the pun. And what are you worried about? You feel like you have pretty good control over yourself?
18:41🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's just that I've just heard like from listening to the show that this has happened before and I just don't want it to happen to me.
19:23🔗
Drew
No, don't worry. Don't freak yourself out. But also realize that if she is into you, she's going to stay into you and just relax. If things don't go well this time, they'll go wrong next time around.
19:33🔗
Adam
They'll go fine. You'll be alright, Joseph. Alright, buddy. Alright. Good job. Feeling good.
19:43🔗
Adam
Hey, Drew, did I tell you? I was thinking about it all day to day. I don't know why. Did I tell you when I drove off the tow truck a couple months back?
19:53🔗
Adam
I didn't want to talk about it on the air because I was scared the guy was going to try to bust me or something.
20:00🔗
Adam
Oh, this is a great story. I'll tell you, if you kids didn't respect me as the rebel that I claimed to be before this story, you're really going to respect me after.
20:11🔗
Adam
You know, I have a certain amount of disdain for tow truck drivers, parking enforcement personnel and folks like that in general.
20:18🔗
Adam
Yeah, we were, this is a couple months back. It's a great story. I just kind of sat on it because I was really kind of worried that the authorities would come after me. I was doing a little man show party.
20:36🔗
Adam
A man show party in Hollywood, shooting some pool, having a good time, tilling a few beers. Yeah, a couple of beers. Not ashamed to admit I have a drink now and again, like every night, and having a good time. Now, my car was parked, all the parking was filled up at the pool hall we're hanging at. So I parked across the street at the 7-Eleven and ran across the street. Well, you know, a few hours later and a few beers later, and it's getting toward the end of the night. People are starting to wrap up. It's maybe about 1, 1.15 in the morning, getting pretty close to the last call. And an intern comes running into the pool hall and she says, Adam, your car's being towed across the street. And I go, oh, Christ. So I go running out there and there's a couple of man show folks around there, just some interns and some secretaries, just some of the lackeys. But we're one big family, you know. And they're hanging around and they're kind of pleading with the guy. No, the guy, the guy who owns the car is coming right now. Just, no, the guy's got the car, it's propped up. Now he's got one of those tow trucks. He's got the kind with the two prongs that slide under the rear wheels and just hydraulically lift the car up. And then they strap the rims to the two prongs that come out.
21:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, I guess it was. Although I may have driven off that as well. So, so I come running out there and there's this guy of suspect nationality. You know, he's a tow truck driver in LA. Couldn't tell what he was, but it wasn't troublemaker.
22:12🔗
Adam
Yeah, Johnny Quest villain nationality. And he's towing the car. He's got the car pulled up and the car's three feet off the ground. And I come running over there and I say, what's going on? And he says, we've got to tow the car. The guy from the 7-Eleven called, said you weren't buying anything here and now we're towing the car. And I said, all right, well, what's this gonna take? I mean, what- You're greasing his palm. Let's work out a little something, something here. Because it's 1.15 in the morning, got a couple beers in me. There's no way I want to go to some impound lot in the middle of the night. I'm staying in there, he's staying in there. And he's kind of, he's listening, but he ain't really going for anything. You know, I'm saying, look, you're going to tow the car, I'm going to have to get a ride, I'm going to follow you to the impound, I'm going to follow my own car to the impound lot. Then you're going to lower the car down, then I'm going to pay a guy 90 bucks, then I'm going to get in the car and then I'm going to go home. I'm going to be miserable. We're having a party over here, we're celebrating, we're having a good time. I understand you got a job to do and you just got caught in between here and your time's worth something. Let's make it right for you. I'll move the car, we'll call the night. The guy's like, yeah, but no. Sort of yeah, but no. He's going slow, but he's not really listening to too much. I say, look, let's just go talk to the 7-Eleven guy and we'll straighten it out with him. I'll talk to him, I'll buy a case of ho-hos or a tub of slushies or something and he'll just forget about it. But this guy also suspect nationality.
23:55🔗
Adam
Shocking. Yeah. Indian guy. I don't know what this guy is. No, I didn't know what 7-Eleven guy was either, but he didn't. No, no, no, no, you're towing the car, you know. And I said, listen, buddy, can you just get me some slack? Let's get rid of the tow truck and then we'll settle up. We'll figure this out. I'll give you a couple bucks. No, they're towing the car, you people, you park the car, you know. So I basically come out there and he, the guy from the 7-Eleven wants the car towed and the guy who's driving the tow truck's attitude is, is, whatever he wants. Yeah, whatever he wants. And I'm doing, and he's kind of, I get the feeling if I would have pulled out 200 bucks, he would have lowered the car. But my feeling is, is it's like 90 bucks. So if I give the guy 50 bucks, he's got some cash, he's doing all right. And so you know what I love about these guys? Oh God, do I hate. Oh, and I have no problem with guys like this just dying in their sleep. No problem at all. I cannot stand this human being. I can't stand people that don't have an ounce of compassion in their heart. I mean, I said to the guy, listen, just go back to your place and tell the guy the car was gone. You got called to come out and tow a car. Let's say I walked out five minutes earlier, got in my car and drove away. What would you tell your boss? The car wasn't there. What's he going to do? And here's 50 bucks. Put it in your pocket. No, he kept going. So eventually I called him an asshole. I just said, listen, quit being an asshole. And here's what I love. And a lot of you do this out there and you know who you are. And we've all experienced this guy. Mr. Asshole now, now it's no more Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. Dickhead has now announced no more Mr. Nice Guy. After I call him an asshole. I called him an asshole because for 25 minutes, I was all but begging him, me and four other people from the Man Show to let the car down and to settle this and just don't go anywhere. He actually started driving the car. I jumped in the car, I put the brakes on, he was dragging me. I said to this M.F.er, you are not towing this car. You understand me, you are not towing it. Now, I'm reasonable. I understand I did wrong, I parked in the wrong place. I understand your time is worth something. And I'm perfectly willing to talk about this, but you're not towing this car. And he got in the car and he started driving. I jumped in, I had the door open, I put the brake on, he was dragging me with the front brakes locked up. The car was sitting at like a 45-degree angle. I mean, the rear of the car was three and a half feet off the ground. And he's dragging me and I'm in there and he knows he can't get anywhere and he stops and he gets back out again. And he's a decent-sized guy who's a little bit angry and not the kind of guys, you know, he's the kind of guy who would have hit you with a tire iron or something. And after I called him an a-hole, our relationship deteriorated very quickly after that. And his thing was, he was insulted now. And like I said, no more Mr. Nice Guy. You know what drives me insane? When people do this one, I tried to be reasonable. I tried to do it. I did what Beth, I was nice to you. I showed you respect. I showed your friends respect. No more. No more. And it's like, hey, see sucker. I did everything but blow you for the last half hour to get my goddamn car back. And you were dragging me in it. What are you talking about?
27:27🔗
Adam
I hate it when people play that card. Now they have a license to be an a-hole when in fact, they were complete a-holes from the word go. Now, maybe this guy sized me up. Maybe he saw me on TV. Maybe he saw it was a nice car. Maybe he thought after 90 bucks, this guy's going to give me 200 bucks. I don't know what his plan was. And I couldn't read him at all. He was hanging around a little bit. So it was if he wanted something. But on the other hand, I wasn't going to pay more than it would have cost for me to get it out of the impound. So the guy says, no more. No more, Mr. Nice Guy. I had insulted him, insulted the tow truck driver, and he was going to take off. And he was he was he got in the car and he said, F it. My crazy guy from New York, Tom, who works at The Man Show, works with all the monkeys and was fired from his last job for exposing himself to some of the network people, Oh, man. undid one of the lashes that held the tire to the arm.
28:31🔗
Adam
He undid, yes, after the tow truck driver got in his car and started to get ready to head out, car still up at a 45 degree angle, Tom undid one of the nylon lashes that holds the rear tires to these prongs. And he yelled at me, undid the other one. And I was just like, yeah, I got caught up in the moment. I undid the other one. I jumped in the car and he said, take off. Except for the back of the car was three and a half feet off the ground. I peeled out and it really, it sounded, the sound it made was a lot like what it, what, remember when the iceberg rubbed up against the side of the Titanic?
29:16🔗
Adam
Rivets flying, metal on metal, you know, and popped down in the ground and just peeled out, laughing like a hyena.
29:24🔗
Drew
I gotta look at your car now. Do you take it in immediately after that? Leave the muscle behind?
29:29🔗
Adam
No, laughing like a hyena, sped all the way home. Everyone else who was standing around just scattered and that sea sucker got himself a big handful of air. So, he can kiss my hairy white ass. No damage to the car, zero, zero. Through God's grace, you understand that God reached down and saved me and my car. God knew this SOB was trying to tow an innocent man and intervene because I really could have done five or six thousand dollars worth of damage to my car. Quite easily.
30:13🔗
Adam
I mean, listen kiddies, I ain't exaggerating. The rear tires were in the tow position three feet, three and a half feet off of the ground and the car was being towed and I drove it right off that MFR and for all I know those two prongs could have just pulled my entire rear bumper and trunk lid right off this. I mean, could have done eight or ten thousand dollars worth of damage.
30:40🔗
Adam
He was just sitting in his car, yeah, he was starting to move, yeah. No, he wasn't, he was in his car and he was getting ready to move and I drove off. Yeah, and it made a horrible grinding sound, but it didn't tear anything up. Thank you.
31:04🔗
Adam
Oh, God, that sea sucker. Pussy. Well, these are wonderful stories. Yes, I hope he's listening, I hope he's upset and I hope he comes down and I'll give him a good ass kicking.
31:19🔗
Caller
Hi, yeah, I have a problem which I think was caused three months ago. I'm kind of bisexual and I inserted once an egg up my anus. What? An egg up my anus. Egg.
31:55🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. I don't think he turned, he didn't turn his radio down, his buddy turned his radio down.
32:05🔗
Adam
And when his buddy is in the room, when he's talking about forcing the egg up his anus, that means boguosity.
32:12🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, I was going for that, too, just the idea that you can't, you're a panel egg. You can't even-
32:21🔗
Adam
Oh, let me tell you something. Every year, you know, for the construction outfit I worked at, we'd have a picnic, and there was, you know, it was a three-legged race, a potato sack race, and there was a shove-the-raw-egg-up-your-ass competition.
32:33🔗
Adam
I could never win it. No matter how much Miracle Whip I smothered on the thing, I still, no matter how much I dilated myself with a hair dryer, no matter what I did, I could not get that raw egg up my ass without breaking it. It's not fair.
33:07🔗
Adam
All right, see about that raw egg in his ass. I'm with you, Drew. You cannot put a raw egg in your ass. You'll break it.
33:14🔗
Drew
Getting through the carpet material in your, I mean, the hair in your ass would be over.
33:20🔗
Adam
Destroy that egg. All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, maybe we'll talk a little more to Alex after this.
34:09🔗
Adam
Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Drew, just because it's the holidays, I want to muse myself. I'll get back to Alex over here. Alex?
34:22🔗
Caller
Yes, and it is possible, whether you believe it or not, I've done it five times with, or actually I've done it once, one time with five eggs at once.
34:31🔗
Caller
Yes, they were not cracked, they were not hard boiled, they were straight from the carton.
34:42🔗
Caller
Four, I can account for. Fifth one, I don't know if I did or not, I could have done a while of crapping without knowing it.
34:52🔗
Caller
Oh, well, it could still be up there, it could actually still be up there, but I don't know if it is or not.
35:09🔗
Drew
You can't insert a finger, we can't serve fingers without lubrication. What are you going with, those mason jars?
35:31🔗
Adam
Drew, what if one hypothetically got in it? Well, by the way, if you get an egg up in here, why don't you just crap it out? Why can't you crap out stuff that gets wedged in your ass?
35:40🔗
Drew
Why does stuff get stuck up there? Because it's put up with more force than your colon can generate coming down.
36:14🔗
It gets wedged in.
36:15🔗
Drew
Yeah, you'd use a lot of force to get it up there. And you need force to get it going in the direction. You can't generate just from the colon.
36:29🔗
Adam
Listen, a five-gallon tub of Crisco, a popsicle stick, and one of those novelty sledgehammers they use at the carnival.
36:44🔗
Adam
And a guy wearing a leopard skin, one of the strongman outfits with just one sleeve, one hook that goes over one shoulder. Right. Couldn't get that thing a quarter inch up my ass. I am that tight.
37:05🔗
Adam
I referred to my anus as Santa Claus' mouth once because of the hair down there. Drew ran with it. Kevin?
37:12🔗
Hey. Hello. Hello.
37:28🔗
Adam
Yeah. You see, kicks in his ass. He's quite an actor, that Goldberg. What's up there, Kevin?
37:42🔗
Caller
Well, she seems to have a lot of guy friends, you know, and very few girlfriends, which I mean, you know, of course that can happen and whatnot. But she also has a lot of opportunity to do that, you know, because I work at night and whatnot. Besides the fact that she has cheated on me in the past.
38:03🔗
Caller
OK, this is this is what happened is basically when we first basically we first started dating. I had moved across state because she was supposed to come live with me at the time because I had actually gotten her pregnant early on and she had a miscarriage and whatnot.
38:16🔗
Drew
Anyway, she's we don't we don't qualify. This is cheating. You just started dating. You moved out of town.
38:21🔗
Caller
Well, this was this is a couple more. Yeah. Well, well, let me finish. It was it was I moved away and then she had she with or she slept with a guy that she had known in high school and she was supposed to come out and then she came out and visited me and the guy that gave her a ride out there.
38:39🔗
Adam
But if you can't, you know, if you're not going to chip in for gas, I mean, let me tell you something. Gas, grass or ass is the bumper sticker reads. No one rides for free.
38:52🔗
Adam
So, Kevin, she slept with some boyfriend of hers from high school. You guys just been going out a couple of months when you were out of town. Maybe fine. But then she slept. The guy drove her out to you, who was a different guy.
39:08🔗
Caller
Yeah, this is the guy. She was coming out to visit me. She had moved home. So we were working in the town together.
39:27🔗
Caller
Well, kind of. I mean, she was born in Columbia, South America. She was adopted when she was real young.
39:53🔗
Adam
What Drew is saying is if you are adopted at birth, that is it. If you are adopted at two or three, you are abandoned. Yeah. I mean, her dad was probably some drug mule who got busted or something. It is a disaster. Yeah.
40:07🔗
Caller
Well, she actually was adopted by a family with her two sisters. So, I mean, they all stayed together. And yeah, her father, I know all the story behind, you know, what was going on with her parents. Her father was gunned down in front of one of her older sisters.
40:44🔗
Caller
Maybe once or twice, three times, maybe a month, that I know about. Because when she goes out with her friends, she generally... No, no.
41:10🔗
Drew
She can't tolerate intimacy. The only way she can regulate her feelings is with being in these highly arousing situations, sex, probably some drugs, going out all the time. This is somebody who's got some problems.
41:22🔗
Adam
She's gonna... and she'll let you know about it in order to keep sort of the chaos going.
41:28🔗
Caller
The thing is right now, I mean, this was... When she cheated on me before that she told me about, this was over three years ago.
41:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. But don't worry. You'll find out. Something's up. Yeah. And why do you think she told you about it the first time?
41:55🔗
Drew
And then what makes you think now? What's happening now that makes you believe this is happening?
42:03🔗
Caller
What's the evidence? Well, I... One time I remember here... This was quite a while ago. This was one of... When she first started really going out with these other guys, I kind of eavesdropped on one of her phone calls. And, I mean, it seems like every time she talks to one of these guys, you know, they just talk about sex. Yeah. And, I mean...
42:27🔗
Caller
Just the one. And that's what really makes it tough on me is that, I mean, I've listened to your show enough to know, Dr. Drew, that you like, you know, hope to keep the family together, you know, and that's...
42:36🔗
Drew
Well, sometimes it's not possible. Now, it's certainly you don't want to do it unless you get some treatment.
42:46🔗
Adam
Well, here's the deal. Her background mandates that she get into some therapy because she's been to hell and back, and it's all going to come out in the form of just chaos now. Yeah. And she's going to ruin that kid of yours. Absolutely. There's no way you can have her at the wheel of raising a kid.
43:06🔗
Drew
I'm surprised that she's even available for the kid. I would expect her to be real abandoning and just not even be available, be out all the time and not taking care of the kid.
43:12🔗
Caller
No, actually, she goes out, like I say, maybe she goes out on the weekends, stuff like that, like maybe once or twice, maybe three times a month. She'll go out on the weekends.
43:25🔗
Caller
Yeah, she's actually a really good mother. I mean, she's, you know, I can't really complain about that. I mean, she's always been real good to him. And, you know, of course there has been times where, you know, she has, you know, he'll come over and, you know, be playful, you know, kind of do whatever and she'll, you know, not be happy when, I've seen her smack him one time.
43:56🔗
Caller
And I got on her about that too and I've only seen it happen once. And I told her, I basically told her, you know, if I ever saw her do that again, that I mean, that'd be it.
44:13🔗
Drew
That's in front of him. Who the hell knows what she's doing behind, you know, when he's not home.
44:17🔗
Adam
Listen, you, you too gotta get into some therapy. She's got to get into some therapy in this. If it's it, it's it. You get hold of that. You can kind of see that kid. She ain't fit. Here's the deal, everybody. It's sad, but it's true. I don't care how much you, you love your child. It doesn't matter. It will be trumped by your own horrible childhood unless you fix things.
44:40🔗
Adam
And parenting ain't any different than piloting an airplane or skippering a ship or anything else where there's other people involved in lives at stake. If you ain't qualified, someone's going to get hurt.
44:54🔗
Adam
And unfortunately, this chick got abandoned and abused and screwed with. And I feel bad for her. But now, just like I felt bad, I feel bad for guys who get abused when they're grown up.
45:10🔗
Adam
Until they kill somebody and then they become a criminal. Then I don't feel bad for them anymore. And when you have a kid, that's when you become a criminal. Thank you. That's good logic, isn't it? All right. Let's talk to someone else. I know you want to go to break there, Anderson. Erica? Yes. You're 21. What's up?
45:31🔗
Caller
I was going down on my boyfriend the other day and there's a little bit of pre-commin. It tastes like blood.
45:39🔗
Drew
How would you tell blood from pre-commin anyway? It's all kind of body fluid. It's all serum.
45:44🔗
Adam
Count Jankula. Let me tell you something about semen. It has very distinct flavor, Drew, and blood is very salty. Semen is a totally, totally, totally different taste.
45:53🔗
Drew
So when you were going through your vampire years as opposed to your gay years, you sort of made note of this.
45:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. Right. When I was sucking blood, it was a totally different sensation and taste than it was when I was guzzling semen. You see? So I know. I'm with you. Thanks for sharing.
46:22🔗
I don't know.
46:24🔗
Adam
Well, if you don't know, then how do you know? Pick up trace elements of it in the pre-cum.
46:31🔗
I don't know.
46:33🔗
Adam
We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll let Eric get a lobotomy, and we'll be back after this.
47:18🔗
Adam
I'm Adam Carolla, this is Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number 1-800-LE-1-9-1. Let's talk to Marissa over here. Marissa.
47:31🔗
Caller
Hey, all right, here's the deal. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a half, a little longer. And we were talking today and he's like, you know what? I'm having a problem. I'm like, well, what's your problem? He's like, our sex life, it's really boring. I'm like, we're not married. This should not be an issue. So he put-
47:57🔗
Caller
It's true, but I just didn't think that someone would be telling me that, you know, at this age.
48:29🔗
Caller
No, not usually. Sometimes, you know, sometimes he's just too anxious and just, you know, doesn't get the picture and that foreplay is really important. Did he just rip off my pants and, you know, boom, we're done.
48:43🔗
Caller
Well, he was like, well, you know, you do the same thing every time. I'm like, yes, I know. I'm really boring and uncreative. I mean, we've tried food, we've tried role playing and it's just not good enough for him.
48:54🔗
Caller
Like, um, one time I was a Catholic school girl and then I was a nurse and did like this whole, you know, little skit deal. It was kind of fun.
49:19🔗
Adam
I don't like that food. That food, that is not my thing. I don't find that ironic. What's the food?
49:36🔗
Adam
Yeah. See, to me, the marshmallow sauce and the pubic hair is a distraction. I like a bit. Since when are you bored if a BJ at 17?
49:50🔗
Caller
Nothing can be wrong with him though because, I mean, he was like you with the version when we started going out.
49:54🔗
Drew
No, but he has got some issues about women and you are a prime candidate. You're playing into this in some way.
50:01🔗
Caller
I can't figure out why though because his mom is like the most decent person in his life. His dad is like a horrible dick.
50:08🔗
Caller
Oh, well, he's gone all the time. He never pays attention in his life. He doesn't ask him. His dad has to ask me who his friends are.
50:22🔗
Caller
I got divorced. Then I got remarried. Then I got divorced again because the same couple.
50:29🔗
Drew
Yeah. But that's some stuff going on. In my experience, it's usually somebody drinking or doing drugs.
51:09🔗
Drew
I think he's going to keep up in the ante. He's going for something that's going to be really humiliating, degradating.
51:29🔗
Adam
Yes. Well, no, it's just that like the kids will be crawling up your rectum looking for Easter eggs. What else? Have you guys gotten to the anal love yet?
51:49🔗
Caller
He's totally against it. He's like, I will never ever do that. I don't care if I'm 120. I won't.
51:56🔗
Drew
He's up to something because he's just going to keep up in the end until he's doing something degrading to you. It's not good. This is not a good situation. This is not a caring. There's no reciprocity. There's no mutuality. This is him to sort of go more and more and more. And you giving in to that and trying to figure it out and running all over the place trying to make him happy. And meantime, you're being subjugated and he is asking for, he's in a bottomless pit at this point.
52:23🔗
Hi.
52:34🔗
Caller
It was an article out of the Minneapolis paper on what it costs and troubled kids and...
52:48🔗
Adam
No. Let me explain something about this show. We don't get that much. We do get some of the food. I think AM thinks some of it may be poison. That's why she sends it along. I was sitting around looking at my plaque today.
53:04🔗
Adam
That's the funny part. See, here's how it works. God, I hope producer Ann is not listening to this show. This is why you can't hire women, by the way. Stuff shows up. Here's the deal, everybody. The home station, the mother station, K-Rock, is in Burbank.
53:44🔗
Adam
Top, you know, syndicated, alternative talk show of the year or something like that. It stays in the office.
53:52🔗
Adam
It sits in the office. I happened to go over to the office a few weeks ago, and there was a big plaque that said, K-Rock and Los Angeles No. 1 English-Speaking Station. Very nice framed glass, something that looks very nice on your wall. And I saw one with my name on it, and I grabbed it, and I brought it home with me. Now, I'm sure there's one with your name on it, too, although you'll never see it. That's what I'm saying.
54:35🔗
Drew
As a symbol of something as important as a plaque with your name on it doesn't get here. Any mail with our name on it sure as hell isn't.
54:42🔗
Adam
Put it this way. Anything that either looks good in that office, looks good in Ann's house, or is a hassle to bring downstairs ain't making it here. So, you got a plaque over there that says Dr. Drew number one, K-Rock Los Angeles, framed, it's about two feet by 18 inches. Very nice.
55:07🔗
Adam
I visited our billboard award, but that will not make it here either. Nothing. There's a ton of good stuff in that office. It will not make it here. Okay. Now, should we talk to Eric or... I'm tired of him already.
55:24🔗
Caller
Well, I have... My daughter is 10 years old. I was wondering at what age you start to be concerned with talking to them about sex and all that.
55:33🔗
Drew
Well, there's good scientific evidence that you initiate a dialogue between the age of 8 and 12. The content of the dialogue is not important, but the fact that you begin answering open-ended questions for them, that they develop a facility and a comfort of asking things that are mysterious and difficult and hard to understand. And they will quickly begin discussing these topics with you. But answer the questions on their terms. When they're ready to know, when they want to know, they will ask you, just answer. Don't judge, don't freak out, just answer.
56:06🔗
Drew
Great opportunities. Just, you know, if you see things on TV, it's like, hey, do you have any questions? They understand how it works.
56:39🔗
Adam
So, thank you, Eric. We appreciate it. Yeah, sit around and wait for your kids to talk to you. Don't initiate any conversations with them, right, Drew? If you want them to pass the salt, just go... And you know, put your chin at them. Now let me tell you something. You know your wife. She's amorous, she's open, she's carefree. She's a talker. She's going to get that daughter of yours, she's going to be shopping and talking about sex. That's all she's going to do for a living. You keep her away from that wife. Keep her away from that wife.
57:27🔗
Adam
Hey, she's a hell of a lady. I'm just saying keep her away from the daughter. That's all. I don't mean any disrespect. Just keep her away from her own child.
58:40🔗
Drew
Let's think, reason this out for a second. What is it about the male that around the age of five, that becomes the, I mean, what is it about humor?
58:56🔗
Adam
I met three or four guys who don't think farting is funny. Unfortunately, one of them happens to work with me during my prime farting hours and be engineer Anderson. And I don't trust any of them.
59:16🔗
Drew
Oh, you want, I guess we'll not breathe. They'll be, I mean, they'll be laughing so hard. They'll be out of breath.
59:25🔗
Adam
I used to do this thing with my friend Chris is he had a little brother. He was Ricky was five years younger than he was. So when we were like 12, 13, he was a seven or eight or something like that. I used to do this great move with him. When I, I'd be walking in the kitchen, I'd stop and have this weird look on my face. And I start doing this weird thing with my foot. I start pushing the ball on my foot on the floor. And, huh, what is this? He'd be looking at me. I just be, I wouldn't be looking at him. I'd just be thinking to myself, what is this? What is this? And then I'd bend down and I'd touch the floor right where my foot was. Whoa, whoa, that is weird. That is weird. What is that? This is some kind of black hole or something. What is that? How'd that happen? He'd come over. Okay, Ricky, feel that little part of the floor right there. It's weird. It feels like a breast or something. It's a spongy. How'd that happen? He put his foot on it, you know. No, no, no, no. No, no, with the hand. You feel it. When you put your hand on it, you feel it. Sure enough, he'd lean over, just bend at the waist, never bend down with the knee, just bend right over the waist, put his hand on the floor. I would cut the back of his skull, shove his head halfway up my rectum and let a big, big one fly on his head. Nothing better. Nothing, nothing more gratifying.
1:00:57🔗
Adam
Now, when I see him, you know, he's an adult now. Maybe that's why I understand. He's 31. He runs crying even as an adult man when I see him now. Matt?
1:01:08🔗
Adam
I'd probably gotten three or four times. Various, different ways. Shoes untied, you know, that kind of stuff. Now, you know, around the office, I'll drop things. You know, see if I can get one of the riders to bend down and pick something up and then pow. But my big move is just coming up behind people that are sitting on chairs, leaning back.
1:01:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, you know, it's really funny. You know, you've really, you've gained a lot of respect when you just walk into the room, you see guys starting to pull their shirts up over their face like this. This is Jimmy's big move. He pulls the t-shirt up over the nose and just talks to you through the shirt. Matt.
1:01:58🔗
Adam
No, they don't have that big novelty snore like one of our security guards. All right. Should we let him sleep? Yeah.
1:02:10🔗
Caller
Well, I'm gay for clarification. I live in Anchorage and about a little more than a year ago, I fell in love with a girl who was just a couple years younger than me. And you're gay. I'm gay.
1:02:33🔗
Caller
Well, my problem is that now I've met this new girl and I think that I may be falling in love with her. And I know that it seems childish. I'm 17. Perhaps I don't truly understand the definition of love, but...
1:02:54🔗
Caller
Well, it's a pretty conservative state, so you'd be surprised. People are pretty repressed here.
1:03:16🔗
Adam
Yeah. So you got all those lesbian mushers who come to town each year. Of course. That's kind of... I'm guessing that Idina Rod sled race must be like the LPGA coming to town. You know, chicks, chicks win that half the time.
1:03:42🔗
Adam
Not you. You did not go lesbian at the hands of your uncle when you were 15. No. No, you are a lesbian. You bleed lesbian brown. What are the lesbian colors, Drew? Blue. What is purple? What are most of those final shirts?
1:03:59🔗
Drew
Is it like a red and a brown? Again, you seem very well put together. We don't get any funny feelings from you. You seem secure in what you're doing and that's fine.
1:04:08🔗
Caller
Well, my problem is that this person is so much like the last person I dated. Like, they have the same career aspirations that I'm afraid.
1:04:18🔗
Drew
Yeah, but you know, the way all humans work is that attraction is built on sort of internal images that don't change much unless you've been through therapy. And so, you know, as you go around looking for someone to be attracted to, it's natural enough that you'd be attracted to something very similar.
1:04:35🔗
Adam
How do you scope out your lesbian prey as a 17-year-old lesbian? How do you figure out these girls are lesbians?
1:04:47🔗
Caller
It's very dangerous because if you ask somebody if they're gay, the implication is, hey, I like you. And if you're not gay, then of course, it's this huge insult. And they'll never speak to you again. Right.
1:05:29🔗
Caller
Yeah. Well, my parents are Mormon and I chose when I was a sophomore that I preferred Judaism.
1:05:42🔗
Caller
Oh, well, the situation for them for years. Now, um, my parents are on the conservative side.
1:05:49🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Plot's starting to thicken just a little bit here, Drew. Yeah, but it's it's we may have to take back our initial analysis.
1:05:56🔗
Drew
No, no, no, because it's because on an emotional level, it's still intact. It's on there. All this stuff on top is kind of weird.
1:06:15🔗
Adam
I wish if I had nickel for every time my dad said, don't you go Jew on me, boy. That's what he'd say.
1:06:21🔗
Adam
Hey, boy, come here. He'd be drinking, pull his belt out. You're not going to on me, are you, son? No, no, no, no, so dad. No, I don't think my dad knows what religion he is, by the way. All right. Where is she? This is this is bizarre. So your parents are Mormon?
1:06:55🔗
Caller
Why Judaism? Well, I have, it's not usually the religion picks you. People are not very, you know, stuck in their beliefs. Well, I have my own beliefs and it just so happened that Judaism fit most of them. You know, and everybody needs some sort of organized religion.
1:07:11🔗
Adam
Well, maybe. I listen, if I'm going, if I pick a religion, I go with the Judaism. That's a very solid religion. Lots of food, lots of money, lots of hanging out. Very good. No work on Saturdays. Hey, Aubrey. Yeah, you're young, you know, maybe you shouldn't be in anything too serious.
1:07:31🔗
Drew
But all 17 year olds trying to figure out what love is, all of them. And at least you come up from a place where you don't sound like you have a lot of other emotional baggage that's clouding that experience.
1:07:47🔗
Caller
Um, have you ever told somebody that you loved them and then you didn't mean it? You weren't, you did not love them, but you told them that you did and then they found out later that I didn't love them? Yeah.
1:08:10🔗
Adam
Wait a minute. I was drunk. Well, listen, we've all told people we love them. And then later on had a breakup. It didn't mean we didn't necessarily love them. At the time we said we love them.
1:08:23🔗
Caller
Right. I don't want to get into a relationship with this person and find out later that I got into the relationship because there was so much like my, you know.
1:08:36🔗
Adam
Hey, the Jewish society is forcing you to do way too much thinking. Relax over there. You're 17. You got a mind on you, baby.
1:08:44🔗
Drew
And you need some experience. You need to sort of figure out who you are in a relationship and you're on your way. And it's good that you're being cautious. It's good that you're not willing to exploit somebody else and or get needlessly into an emotional situation.
1:08:57🔗
Adam
She needs to go out for the cheerleading squad and drink some wine coolers in the park after the game or something. She got mellow out. She's got too much. She's like a 45 year old woman. You can listen to that in a while.
1:09:44🔗
Drew
We're asking, is it something you've chosen to maintain? Is it something? Oh, no. Well, I'm not asking. I gotta ask.
1:10:28🔗
Adam
Well, there's plenty of ugly guys get plenty of tail. That's the beauty about being a guy.
1:10:44🔗
Adam
All right, I'm gonna fix you right here in the next minute and a half. All right, James?
1:11:19🔗
Adam
I see. James, let me ask you this. What makes you antisocial? What makes you angry? What makes you... Here's what I'm saying. Chicks think you're weird, right? I have no idea. Well, I'm going to go way out on a limb and go, Chicks think you're weird. Now, here's the question. And I'll put this out there to all the guys who are out there, who Chicks think they're weird. Why do they think you're weird? What are you putting off? What are you putting out there? And why can't we stop it?
1:11:52🔗
Adam
All right, well, I can tell from talking to you for two minutes, you're giving me the creeps. What is freaky? Did you have someone beat on you when you were a kid? Sure. It was an alcoholic dad. Did you see your dad get shot? What what happened?
1:12:18🔗
Drew
That's just to find that that's the core sort of reaction of an antisocial, you know, Yes.
1:12:24🔗
Adam
People call up this show. They want to know why the opposite sex doesn't like them. You want to bust a chair over their head after talking to them over the phone for two minutes. You know what I mean? You're thinking to yourself, if I ran into this dude at a party, I'd slit my own throat, I'd jump in the punch bowl. So you know, because otherwise the bleeding might stop and I wouldn't die. You know what I'm saying? And then they want to know what the problem is.
1:13:46🔗
Adam
Anyone you ever thought about getting on some like antidepressants, something like that?
1:13:55🔗
Adam
So, here's the deal, James. If you want to be attractive to women, and here's the good news. You can't do anything about your physical appearance except for maybe lose ten pounds. But the good news is, is women don't care that much. They care some, but they're pretty forgiving in that department, and God bless them for it. They react to vibe, they react to personality, they react to style, they react to all the things that you can change. So, you gotta work on those things.
1:14:34🔗
Adam
It's an angry anti-social vibe that you're putting out, James. They're picking up on it, and that's why you're still a virgin. Now here's what you gotta do, James. You got to get a little therapy, read a few books, start getting out. I know your ankle's busted up, but when it's better, you gotta get out. You gotta go find... Where do you live?
1:14:59🔗
Adam
You live in... Oh, I see. Oh, I know where that is. You gotta go down to the beach and start rollerblading. You live in LA. Good. Go down to Venice Beach and start rollerblading. Do you have any friends? Yeah. Are they decent guys?
1:15:23🔗
Drew
This is like worrying about your penis size. This is what people worry about when their esteem is severely compromised.
1:15:30🔗
Drew
You need to make relationships with other people and find things that make you feel good about yourself and engage in those activities.
1:15:36🔗
Adam
Oh, boy. Listen, there's guys that watch a whole documentary on HBO tonight about women who are hooked up with guys who are on death row.
1:15:58🔗
Adam
On death row. Well, the more newsworthy your murder story is, the more letters you get, you know, requesting dates and marriage proposals and all that kind of stuff.
1:16:10🔗
Drew
Somebody's got to do some study like this on other primates. Let's see if you can figure out what it is that makes female humans behave like this because it's not anything of the rational mind.
1:16:21🔗
Adam
Listen, if chicks see on TV, you know, other than Comedy Central or Basic Cable, if they see on TV, they're in. I think that's what it is. Plus, we all know they're screwballs and they can't be in a relationship, and so they start a relationship with kind person.
1:16:40🔗
Adam
It's always great too. It's always, you know, the guys dating Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker. Oh, she's great. They're married. She's very much in love. She's very smitten. It's great. It's always great too when they start talking about their family, about how they disapprove, and you're thinking, disapprove?
1:17:03🔗
Adam
Dating the Night Stalker. That's when, there's a few signs, by the way, as a parent, when it's time to kill yourself. Kid, remember we had that call a few weeks ago, kid performing oral sex on himself with the Mom walks in. gay guy he met at the bar masturbating next to him. When you walk in on that, that's time to kill yourself.
1:17:33🔗
Adam
You keep that sign on capsule in between your rear teeth, you chomp down on your dead in seconds. And the other one is, is when your daughter cites to marry guys in prison, mass murder, from inside the jug.
1:17:53🔗
Caller
I just wanted to say you guys rock and I wanted to request the lightning round tonight.
1:18:00🔗
Adam
All right, Sean, it's been a while. Why not? And you know what? I'm going to, well, let me talk to my buddy Ace Rockolla over here, see in the studio. Get him over here in the studio here, Drew. Ace!
1:18:16🔗
Caller
Yeah, what's going on? Hey, Ace, we'd like to do a live round, but I'm doing it now, dedicated to you.
1:18:34🔗
Adam
Ace says, oh, and Ace is on his way out, I think, scramming up here or something. Ace, you sure? You did? We on for about 22 minutes.
1:18:50🔗
Caller
Let me ask, let me get Ace again. Let me get Ace Rockolla. Ace, you gonna do the lightning round? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, 11, 20, 20 minutes, I don't know. Yeah, he said fine. All right. All right, Sean.
1:19:21🔗
Adam
So let's know how to satisfy ourselves sexually. We're gonna take a little break. Let me just say hi to her before we do it. Kim?
1:19:41🔗
Adam
Boy, I'll tell you. It is a tragedy. What's going on? A lot of innocent people walking around drinking a beer.
1:20:05🔗
Caller
No, he a couple of years ago, he went in because when he was like 18 years old, him and his friends got all drunk and good at crime.
1:20:14🔗
Drew
Oh, I get it. Did a crime. I see. Somebody was holding a weapon and they pointed the weapon at somebody and asked for some stuff.
1:20:21🔗
Caller
No, he wasn't a weapon. It was just being all drunk and stupid and getting in fights and stuff. Just doing a lot of sex and repeated crimes, which repeated, repeated, like fighting and drunken in public and stuff like that.
1:21:25🔗
Adam
Because you're going to give birth to a felon. Kid's going to be on parole. A parole officer as he comes out.
1:21:43🔗
Caller
He, like, messed up and he has a bad family and everything, like, his whole entire life.
1:21:48🔗
Caller
And then he changed his whole life around. And he's not even the same person. And he went back there for something, for drinking a beer. I know. For out riding dirt bikes and...
1:22:14🔗
Adam
I know. Here's the deal. Guys, you know, commit murder one and they get like 18 months. And Jesus Christ, I wish I would have married one of these women and just constantly defend me. He's in for parole violation.
1:22:33🔗
Adam
First off, he was a kid. He was a kid. He was a kid. And he was just a kid. He was hanging around with these other guys. These guys were troublemakers and they were drinking. And, you know, they were just... I understand I'll throw this goddamn mic through the window, so help me Christ.
1:22:47🔗
Adam
Remember the one we had a few weeks ago? Well, what happened? Somebody pointed something at somebody and they asked him for... Requested some money, some stuff.
1:23:04🔗
Adam
You just... You point a gun at somebody and you ask for stuff. I think that's armed robbery.
1:23:47🔗
Adam
Let Ace Rockolla handle the math. I can't figure it out myself. All right, here we go. Kim?
1:23:54🔗
Drew
Yeah? Kim, I want to have a little discussion. Oh, leave her alone. No, no, no. No, a little discussion about denial.
1:24:01🔗
Drew
Okay. I want to have a little discussion about denial. Now, you say your boyfriend was husband. Put back in jail for having a beer.
1:24:22🔗
Caller
That's an automatic violation for drinking. And because he was not supposed to be drinking at all.
1:25:14🔗
Drew
All right. They had to bring it down hard around him because his behavior was been totally out of control.
1:25:19🔗
Drew
Okay. It's not like a guy who's walked down the street with a beer and they've slammed him in the jail.
1:25:23🔗
Caller
Well, they didn't look at though he'd been out over two years. But he has a life around and never did anything else wrong.
1:25:31🔗
Caller
Well, we moved out of town. He got a good job. He has gotten a good home. He got married.
1:25:44🔗
Caller
I did a lot of drugs when I was a teenager. I got away from those once I got with him.
1:25:59🔗
Adam
Well, here's the deal. I mean, I understand he got pumped for drinking a beer, but if part of the condition of your parole is if you get if you're seen with a beer, you're going back in for nine months, then you make damn sure you ain't drinking a beer.
1:26:20🔗
Adam
Listen to me. You drink a beer when you're sitting in your house, you drink a beer when you're at a bar, you drink a beer when you're with some friends at their house, but you don't do it out in a place that's public like that.
1:26:36🔗
Adam
Well, all right. So now what do you want to do? He's not getting out for eight months.
1:27:04🔗
Adam
I could be there in like nine weeks or something. No, no. Two hours. Oh, two hours. Yeah. I'm coming over for some loving. Is he listening?
1:27:28🔗
Caller
OK. He's been like stressing a lot because he's been thinking since he's locked up for eight months and he's wondering, what am I going to do about sex and everything? And I just want to know what to do to prove to him that I'm not.
1:27:42🔗
Adam
Well, you see, he's thinking like a guy, which is, if you were locked up for for eight months, what would he be doing?
1:28:00🔗
Adam
Yeah. But, you know, let me tell you some of the guys who treat them like they were their queen. They also like a beat on them, too. I don't trust the guy who does that. I treat my woman like a queen. Because the same guys are beating them.
1:28:34🔗
Drew
Well, then why are we having this conversation? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We have this conversation, then. Forget it. We don't need to have this conversation. He trusts you, then that's it. It's over.
1:29:01🔗
Adam
I don't know why I don't believe you, but listen. Here's the deal, Kim. He's thinking like a guy and you can do it, right? You got four months. You can do that stand on your head, right?
1:29:20🔗
Adam
Right. He's starting to... I hope he's not the guy I'm thinking about. I hope he's as good as you say he is. He really is. All right. Well, then no worries. He'll believe you. He trusts you. He respects you. You are the queen.
1:29:34🔗
Adam
You tell him you love him very much. You're dedicated to him. And you don't plan on doing anything.
1:29:41🔗
Adam
Done. I know this sounds like the most retarded thing in the world, but here's the deal. Here's the deal with guys and their women. See, guys who do that whole queen thing, they got a huge... There's a big swing.
1:29:59🔗
Adam
The guys who treat them super crazy good are the guys... Listen, you ever hear Tommy Lee...
1:30:08🔗
Adam
Hell, baby. Baby, you are so hot. Baby, I love you so much. Baby, you're everything in the world.
1:30:20🔗
Adam
Yeah, what do I look like? Yeah, all right. On their hand, you could have sex with one of my friends and crash my car. All right. No highs, no lows. That's right. You throw out the high, you throw out the low score, you're right in the middle there with the Russian judges. And where are we?
1:30:41🔗
Adam
Thou who cares. It's so frustrating. Just don't have any kids. That's all I care about. Ryan?
1:30:55🔗
Caller
I don't know. She, we was drinking and stuff one night, and we passed out, and I thought, you know, everything was fine, and wake up, tied up, and she's got a cigarette, and she's burnt me twice with it. And she had told me that she had heard from her mother and her brother that I was going to leave her. Well, I take and go down and go talk to her brother and stuff to let them know what happened, and they laughed at me about it. They don't believe that she really did this.
1:31:28🔗
Adam
Oh, man, with the S-word, Ryan. Jesus Christ, Anderson hates that because he has to move.
1:32:25🔗
Adam
I would think some piece of work to be able to go down so hard that she's a woman's able to tie you up.
1:32:32🔗
Drew
I would think you'd want to get out of this, get away from this person as quickly as possible and set down the force of law that she doesn't get at you anymore.
1:33:00🔗
Adam
Hey, Ryan? Yeah, maybe, you know, here's the whole thing. When you're getting tied up with belts and burnt with cigarettes, that's a sign that the relationship may have run its course.
1:33:11🔗
Caller
Yeah, but I was wondering if there's maybe something in our life that made her, you know, kind of...
1:33:21🔗
Adam
Now, put it this way. You know what this is like? It's like somebody drops a car off to you, Drew, and says, you know, there's a couple of things wrong with this car. It's a great car and I'll give it to you cheap and you can drive it. But here's the problem is you got no tools and you don't know what you're doing. You've never worked on a car a day in your life and, yeah, with some fixing up, it could be a damn reliable automobile. But you know what? You can't do it. You don't know what you're doing and therefore it's just going to sit in your driveway. I mean, you might as well just get someone to push it while you're driving.
1:33:58🔗
Adam
That's right. It ain't going to work. We'll take a little break. Why don't we come back? What do you want, Anderson?
1:34:08🔗
Drew
Yeah, and then the lightning round. First take this one before the lightning round. I see.
1:34:18🔗
Caller
Okay. I have like my niece that lives with me. I went to go kiss her good night and she told me that, and she tried to stick her tongue down my, like she tried to stick her tongue in my mouth. And I said, where'd you learn that? And she said, oh, Sophie did it to me. And that's my really good friend who like comes over to the house a lot and stuff. And she like sometimes gives her a bath cause my niece is only like three. I mean, like, is it common for kids to like, like lie about that stuff before I confront my friend about it or something?
1:35:15🔗
Drew
You need to help this child if you see any more sort of sexualized behaviors. You get somebody to take a look at the kid if that happens.
1:35:36🔗
Caller
I was wondering, like, what are the causes that you can get? Because I don't, like, I'm not sure if I have a bladder infection. Like, it hurts when I pee, you know?
1:35:47🔗
Caller
Well, okay. But what can be the causes of that? Like, is there anything besides, like, sex?
1:36:14🔗
Drew
I know your penis is close to the surface. Yes. But it doesn't, you don't actually drag the paper across it. I don't think.
1:36:53🔗
Drew
See, and I was talking about your number two driving across your urethra right there at the surface.
1:36:57🔗
Adam
I see, I see. I feel that subtle jam. So you're saying it's unhealthy to pack your vagina with fecal matter?
1:37:21🔗
Adam
Do you know what I'm saying? Let me ask real quick. Hey, Adriana, when you go number one, do you give a little dab down there with some toilet paper?
1:37:48🔗
Adam
Oh, man. That's bad times. So, I mean, it's like a, you know, it's like, you know what it is?
1:37:55🔗
Adam
You know when a car has an oil leak? The car has a leak in oil. You don't know. You don't know where it's coming from because the thing is, it's coming from the oil filter, but it's following the block all the way down, down to the edge of the pan, up to the cross, remember? And it's falling off. Yeah, that's it. Strut tower. Right. It started over here. It falls off over there.
1:38:22🔗
Adam
Why didn't God make the woman's urethra longer so that they could make it out of the vagina to pee instead of peeing all over themself?
1:38:40🔗
Adam
Be like you just whizzing all over your nuts in your leg and then mopping up every time.
1:39:58🔗
Caller
What time is it? Check that real fast. It is 11.45, and 35 seconds. That is 10 minutes and 25 seconds away from the top of the hour, straight up to the top. And you're smack dabbing in the middle. Let's have the fools, let's see if we can talk to you there. And we'll speak to John Lyon, number one, live and nationwide. John in 23, what's the rock? Yeah, how you guys doing? John says, this is junkie. Get that junkie. See me now. You can eat it with a fork, but enjoy a bit of his... Hey, John, let me check time real fast. It's 11.50 in 20 seconds. Wait, it's not the average.
1:40:54🔗
Caller
I've got a little skit there, a little skit there, skitty skitty skitty everywhere, everybody, everybody skits, skits.
1:41:21🔗
Caller
You're fine with a cannonball around your belly every once in a while. Yeah, but what is that, eating too much cornstarch? What's going on with that? How come it comes out chunky? Well, sometimes it's just drips out.
1:41:33🔗
Caller
No, but Jack Diamond, it's 11.51, and by the way, I'd like to talk about another man, Seaman, I mean, gay, one of those guys, you know what I'm saying? I don't fag all over myself, you know what I'm saying? I hire me just to do it for me. It's 11.51 and that's eight minutes and 35 seconds. Way up in the air, straight up, straight down in the light, I mean, he's a good old guy, and I grew up live and nationwide, and I love life. He's a fattest, grown out, already showing the country. Let's have one of those other rich. Rich? Yeah. Rich, by the way, we're number one, Armatron rated, and very crucial, 14 to 37. Yeah, Rich? Yeah, 23 years old. What's up with that, buddy?
1:42:24🔗
Caller
I said something about Rich. I felt any better? Law wouldn't allow it. Yeah, all right, buddy. Yeah.
1:42:31🔗
Caller
Hey, my girlfriend and I have kind of a thing going on, kind of a question for you. We got a bet going on. She just started this whole radiology school kind of thing, right? And she's learning about all these new diseases and stuff like that. And she learned that hepatitis, she said that hepatitis B can be transferred through saliva. And I'm telling her that no, that's impossible, ain't gonna happen. She said somebody that drinks off a glass has hepatitis B, can give it to somebody else if they drink from the same glass.
1:43:00🔗
Drew
Well, hepatitis A can definitely be transferred that way, but B not typically, but it is a very infectious disease.
1:43:07🔗
Caller
Maybe she just has bad grammar, maybe she's going hepatitis B transferred through glasses. I'm Ace Rockolla, and I love hepatitis. Hepatitis C cannot be transferred that way, and B usually requires some kind of intimate contact. People are bringing other people alive, And 18 years old, I just grow an aloe vera, it was number one, I was trying to write it. You're 18 years old, you haven't had an orgasm before. Yeah. Yeah, what's up with that? I'll give you an orgasm. I'll let you borrow one of mine. Give it to you in a baggie.
1:43:54🔗
Caller
Well, my boyfriend and I have been having sex, and I haven't had an orgasm yet, and we were kind of wondering what we were doing wrong.
1:44:01🔗
Caller
He needs to pour a little Orooski on you. You know what I'm saying? Get down there and do a little blizzard with the dog. Give it a little lamb in it.
1:44:17🔗
Caller
No, no, it ain't going to work. Oh, God knows. Oh, Lord knows. Oh, no way. I'm going to tell you what time it is. It is 11 to 3, 55 seconds. That is five minutes and four to six minutes, five seconds away from the top. We're going to take some phone calls. We're going to be back. We're going to do a little break there. A little stage identification. We're going to do a little break. We're going to keep a rock. We're going to keep a roll. Are we going on to the break, or done, or six minutes, whatever comes up right after this? Yeah.
1:45:34🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.