3:38🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, James Marsters is our guest tonight. He's Spike. What the hell was that from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Boo. I told Drew I was... See, Drew and I are both tired tonight for different reasons. Drew's tired because he's been working and he's been up for a long time. I'm tired because I woke up from a nap 40 minutes ago and I'm a little disoriented.
4:23🔗
Adam
Let me tell everyone something. I used to apologize for my napping until I literally became a millionaire. Literally. Literally. I did. When you're poor, you have to apologize for napping. People call you at four in the afternoon. Were you taking a nap? Oh, no. I mean, yeah, but I was pulled it all night. I was working a triple shift, a graveyard and swing shift. And Phil couldn't make it in, so I had to pull his shift. But when you're literally a millionaire, literally, like myself, now I nap all goddamn day and laugh like a hyena. I answer the door in my bathrobe at four in the afternoon. How dare you? Yeah, that's what I say because people think, well, he must be some kind of genius if he can nap.
5:12🔗
James Marsters
Yes, ever since I moved down to Los Angeles, I was a theater actor, but I've embraced sloth and ignorance and I'm a happy man now. Good. It doesn't bother me.
5:18🔗
Adam
Well, ignorance was something I had a long time ago. I mean, that's something I always embraced, but the sloth part was something I hadn't really fully immersed myself in until recently.
5:35🔗
Adam
You know, well, that's what I say to Drew all the time. Figure out exactly what you want to do in life and then nap.
5:51🔗
Adam
One thing I do have to do, though, is I, speaking of sloth and ignorance, I have to set my clock that's in my bedroom for the current time. Not my egg timer, my actual clock, digital clock, because I still have not moved it ahead or moved it back.
6:10🔗
Adam
It does take some doing. Yeah, I'm going to have as Waldo get on that Monday morning if I can. I need someone to make me a note to tell us Waldo to do that. Here's my point. Here's my point. I'm good with it because I know it's an hour off, except for after a really hellacious nap when I'm disoriented. Do you know what I'm talking about?
6:31🔗
Adam
And when you're doing a radio show, it's really freaky because you wake up and it says 949 and you're thinking, Holy Christ, I've missed the show. But here I am. Isn't it great?
6:44🔗
James Marsters
Even Saturday, I have a very fancy kind of clock with its own button for daylight savings.
7:03🔗
Adam
Drew, I'll give you $1,500 to be quiet. And all you people, $1,000 a piece to laugh, okay? Very well. Run along.
7:13🔗
Drew
And I know you've been working because you told me you were installing a latrine. We spoke yesterday.
7:30🔗
Adam
Yes. Divisions. Yes. Unlike the LA Airport. Yeah. And let me tell you something. When you walk into a man's garage, you see a floor hoist, you see an impact wrench, you see a table saw that runs off a 220 volts with a Beesmeyer fence on it that goes up to 54 inches. And then you see a urinal coming out of the wall and you go, this guy's all man. I would never F around with this guy. A urinal in the garage.
8:15🔗
James Marsters
She was quite proud of that though. We gave her enormous amounts of, you know, props.
8:19🔗
Adam
She brought her mom in here, which is always a bad idea. I feel. But yeah, so we plugged the hell out of the show. But what show, what episodes coming up this Tuesday? We'll do specific plugging.
8:31🔗
James Marsters
This Tuesday is all about me and my feelings and what I'm doing. No, it's, yeah. It's a crossover episode between Buffy and Angel. And we're going back in time, about 120 years to a point where Angel and Spike, Drusilla and Darla all kind of hooked up. Wow. Yeah. And we're going to find out stuff about Spike that no one's known before.
9:00🔗
Adam
Tune in Tuesday to 8 o'clock on the WB and you'll find out if Spike's gay or not. Speaking of gay, the Man Show, everybody, on right now in the fabulous Comedy Central.
9:19🔗
Adam
They're all good. I can say that with confidence, Drew. How dare you. Chris, $400 to be quiet for this next call. Chris?
9:28🔗
Yeah.
9:31🔗
Caller
I work for the Department of Corrections up here in Washington and I was walking our tier doing my cell checks the other day and one of our inmates who is what we call a tosser, it means he throws fecal matter or whatever, hit me with a cup of urine and semen mixed in the...
9:50🔗
Adam
That's called a Highland Blizzard. I used to drink those in college. We call it a milk churn. Oh, we call it a milk churn? We call it Highland Blizzard. It's a capful of semen. It was a semen floater, we call it. A nice...
10:06🔗
Adam
Yeah. The good thing about that is you don't feel it hit you really because it's pretty, you know, it's about body temperature.
10:32🔗
Caller
And then there's smears who take one piece of turd and rub it all over their wholesale.
10:38🔗
Adam
I like the party, but I like to... When those guys get furloughed, tell me. I'd like to take them out.
10:44🔗
Adam
Really? You know, you don't hear that. I mean, you assume this kind of stuff goes on. It makes perfect sense. I would never question it, but you just don't hear that much about it.
10:52🔗
Look for the areas. Fill that space.
11:02🔗
Caller
I had counted the cell next to his and walked to his to make sure he was in there and right smack in the face.
11:16🔗
Caller
It's a special offenders unit, guys who were off their meds or well, they're on medication and for whatever reason, refused to take his meds that day or whatever. And normally I don't work that unit, but I was doing overtime and they forgot to tell me that.
11:29🔗
Adam
How does a, how does the hole look, by the way? That sounds like a good napping place for me. No windows.
11:49🔗
Adam
I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll adjourn myself to the hole. I'll see you kiddies in the morning. I'll be in the hole. But you know, I would see if I was in the hole, I would not look at it as me not being able to get out. I would look at it as other people not being able to get in.
12:19🔗
Drew
Well, now wait a minute. But medical caretakers have a right to know what they've been exposed to.
13:12🔗
Adam
Wow, that's a great gig you got there. You couldn't get a job at a manure farm or something, some place you could enjoy yourself?
13:25🔗
Adam
Hey, listen, Chris, I hate people from doing this show. I can't imagine how much you hate humanity.
13:47🔗
Drew
If this guy were HIV-positive, there's a probability that people might suggest he'd take antiviral medication because there's good evidence that exposure, even high-risk exposure, can be prevented from going on to infection with the proper treatment.
14:01🔗
Adam
How would one get it if... Let's say one didn't have any cuts or lesions. Is an eyeball a place it can get in?
14:15🔗
Adam
Okay, but don't you think he could say to the personnel in the hospital ward, hey, listen, MFers, I just got hit with a dump truck full of bad goo and if this guy's got the hiv and you don't tell me about it right now, there's gonna be a hairy lawsuit. I'm gonna own this prison. I'll turn it into a car wash.
14:40🔗
Drew
But I think that's the way to handle it. Go to the medical system where his records are known and advise them of the exposure and let them make their decisions.
14:52🔗
Caller
Two of my friends are having sex unprotected. They've got condoms with them and everything. They just don't believe that they need them because they don't know that there is, well, they don't think that there's any sperm in the pre whatever you want to call it. And yeah, that too. And I hope they're listening. And I just want to see if there's any or not.
15:35🔗
Caller
Yeah. I also had another question. And I guess this would be for both of you guys. I was wondering the side effects of shrooms, what those do. I've never heard anyone say that those things will like screw you up and all that.
15:50🔗
Drew
And I think, Ryan, and I actually expect to see the same kinds of problems from mushrooms that we see from LSD and even ecstasy possibly, but I've not seen it. So I can't honestly say that it definitely happens. I think the reason I haven't seen it is that people don't use a lot of mushrooms. They taste like hell. They're grown in house cow pies and they kick the crap out of you. People don't use a lot.
16:32🔗
Adam
Listen, Ryan. Yeah? Here's the big side effect of mushrooms. Your side. It's actually... Your side is the side effect. It hurts from you laughing all night long. And people don't do enough of them. And Drew wishes I'm with Drew. I wish they'd do more, too. But they don't do enough mushrooms for them to get any kind of a definitive answer to this question.
16:55🔗
Adam
Ryan. It's not... I mean, I'm sorry. Ryan, it's not going to make you any smarter. Put it that way. How often do you do mushrooms?
17:02🔗
Adam
All right. Well, stop asking questions for other people, you idiot. Man, is this guy's interested in this. His friends seem to be having a good time. They're doing drugs, they're getting laid. Ryan's sitting in a folding chair with a steno pad documenting the whole goddamn thing.
17:26🔗
Adam
I didn't take notes either. I didn't get laid. I didn't do any drugs. I was honing my napping craft back then. And so it was time well spent. You know what I'm going to say? James, had you begun napping in high school?
17:44🔗
Adam
I like to think of it this way. When didn't I nap? I think there was a summer between the fourth and fifth grade where I wasn't napping.
17:51🔗
James Marsters
There's nothing sweeter than an hour free where you can just lay down on you and your pillow.
18:11🔗
Caller
Yeah, Adam, I just want to say that you're a god even though you don't believe in god.
18:16🔗
Adam
No, no, I believe myself as a god. That's a different. I'm an atheist only when it comes to other people's gods. Yeah, not myself though.
18:24🔗
Yeah.
18:25🔗
Caller
Well, James, I saw you on the Late Late Show on Friday, which I have to say your accents are very good.
18:35🔗
Well, thank you.
18:44🔗
Adam
Oh, is that called the Late Late Show? I thought it was just the Late Show. Well, that's the letterman.
19:04🔗
James Marsters
I think they're actually really cool. I gotta say, I think the people who watch Buffy tend to be drawn toward good writing, frankly. They're not watching some of the other shows that are available. But yeah, they tend to be very gracious. They tend to be very kind. They give me a nice compliment and kind of make me feel good. And that's about it. I don't have a computer. I don't like to get into it that much because it can screw with your head a little bit.
19:32🔗
Drew
You have a computer. You have a very expensive computer. You just don't know how to use it.
19:49🔗
Caller
Basically, I just want to say that if you ever get online, James, to check out jamesmarshers.com without any hyphens or anything, it's the best website for you out there.
20:03🔗
James Marsters
Yeah, there's a lot of unofficial websites and I think GoTo, man, it's just great. I like the unofficial ones. You can steal those photographs.
20:10🔗
I think it's cool.
20:39🔗
She's a little crazy, but...
20:40🔗
Adam
I replace home and school with crazy and mom. Now, I swear to Christ, if I hear the word home and school, I just... In my mind, crazy, mom. Those are the two words. It's just a quick replacement, right?
20:58🔗
I don't live in the same way I live with my dad, though. I'm actually about to graduate.
21:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, sure. Listen, I would have graduated my kids when they were four. Now, go out, hit the pavement, get yourself a job. You've got your degree.
21:26🔗
Caller
If you are homeschooled five years straight, at least I've been homeschooled all my life, then you can take the GED when you're 16 and start college classes when you're 16 too. And so I'm going to do computers.
22:35🔗
Caller
Well, I can get up at like 9.30 or 10. And you only have to study for like three or four hours because we don't have all the extra crap that you get at regular school because they just keep you at a babysitter.
22:50🔗
Adam
Well, she didn't have the actor that played LeBeau from Hogan's Heroes give an assembly speech about the Holocaust like I got. So, there's one important facet of schooling she missed out on and probably a lot of ceramic classes I took. She didn't take it home.
23:10🔗
Adam
I guess she doesn't. What is it? Why? You're going to, okay, I don't want to freak her out too much, but, honey, we're going to graduate you two years early because mama got a job. It's like, I don't know, like on one hand, I learned nothing in school and it was a complete waste of time. On the other hand, I've learned how to mold other people into the shape I'd like them to be in.
23:47🔗
Adam
How are you gonna negotiate? What is life? I mean, what is work? I mean, half of it is the work and then the other half is the networking and who you get along with and who you know and how, you know, that whole sort of social aspect of it, which I gotta believe is hard to learn. All right, let's, James Marsters is here tonight from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We will take ourselves a little break. Hey, is The Man Show on over there? Turn it on, that television, would you, Ann?
24:19🔗
Adam
I'll have to wait for Ann. Drew, take another call while she's trying to find The Man Show over there, Comedy Central. Nancy, oh, wait a minute.
24:30🔗
Yes.
24:32🔗
Nancy.
25:21🔗
Adam
Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. James Marsters is our guest tonight. He is Spike the Vampire and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba. No, no, no.
25:46🔗
Adam
Bad Promo McBlomey or something. I can't remember. Remember the dabba dabba dabba dabba?
25:59🔗
Adam
We... Well, no, no. What happened was is many, many years ago, Loveline was a syndicated show. The TV show was going to be syndicated by Fox before MTV, like a year before that. It's a long story. We went to some affiliate in Chicago, and it would have been on the WB in Chicago. And we had to do these little commercials for it. And they'd say, hey, watch Loveline on Chicago's WB. And I was saying to the guy, fellas, this is a horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid, horrid idea, this W-W-W-W-W-B. It was brand new at the time. And they were like, we got to do it. And they'd go, now I'd go, is it W-W-W-B, or is it W-W-W-W-B? And they'd go, no, it's W-W-W-W-W-W-B. And then like some guy, like Charm and Affiliate, it's two extra dubbas in there.
27:00🔗
Adam
It'd be six dubbas, but a good beat in between the fourth and fifth dubba. And I was like, this is dubba retarded? And I was saying, Drew, and I wish everyone would just listen to me, and you big pussy, you never backed me up on any of these things.
27:17🔗
Adam
Because I, literally, I was not literally a millionaire. But we yelled, I yelled at publicists when we were doing something called media training, when you had to learn to talk to the media, as a retarded and a waste of time.
27:33🔗
Adam
Oh my God, they have stuff called media training where you learn how to answer questions. This is not kids calling in, young adults calling in. Never say kids, never say kids, say young adults. And Drew, so help me Christ, I stood up and I said this is a big waste of all our time.
27:49🔗
Drew
No, no, be fair now, what you did was we were doing these little test sessions on camera.
27:55🔗
Drew
And the guy says, how do you feel about being attacked for having a difficult contact on your show? And I go, how do I feel? You want to know how I feel? And what did you say? I can't remember. He told me to kiss you.
28:08🔗
Adam
I can use the S word, give an S or something. Well, I knew it was a waste of time. Even though I had been out of construction for a week, I said, this is a waste of time, all you idiots.
28:22🔗
Adam
Can you imagine? This was for the TV. This is when the TV was going to be on the syndicated circuit. But anyway, there's many a bad idea of Smelt coming down the pike. Drew has never backed me up on any of them. I've always just been left floating out in the wind on these things and looking like an idiot.
28:41🔗
Adam
How dare you? That was another horrible. Oh, my God. All the horrible ideas. And you see, here's the thing, everybody. I had never done a TV show before. I'd barely done a radio show. I was barely doing anything. So I was sitting with people who had a collective 250 years TV experience around a boardroom table, trying to tell them this was a horrible idea. And I was like the guy who just got off the bus and Drew would not back me up one iota.
29:09🔗
Adam
I know, but you got no guts, man. You got no instinct. I said to those people at the Nyman, Cafferalli and Blow Me that the asshole of, oh, please screw them. They do nothing. Those bottom feeding leech publicists, please. All you, you're wretched, horrible people. All of you. I told all those idiots.
29:33🔗
Adam
They're wonderful, but I told them this was a colossal waste of time when we did it on a Saturday. And I want my life back. They owe me four hours for wasting my time. Media training. This is what you guys get when you sit home and watch entertainment tonight. A bunch of crap that has been passed through a media sieve by a bunch of idiots who call themselves.
30:25🔗
I had my first outbreak of herpes over a year and a half ago and I haven't had a recurrence since then.
30:31🔗
Yes, genital herpes. I had simplex too and I wanted to know-
30:35🔗
Adam
How's the kickboxing going? I've seen the commercials where everyone's kickboxing with these genital herpes.
30:53🔗
I was tested and my doctor told me.
30:57🔗
Uh-huh, they did a viral culture. And I hadn't had a reoccurrence for over a year and a half.
31:06🔗
Well, I had them probably a couple of months after my first outbreak.
31:22🔗
Adam
So if type 1, you'd say you'd be doing some kickboxing or some Thai bow, type 2 might be some Thai or shoot fighting or actual like cage fighting.
31:38🔗
Yeah. What I wanted to know was as far as oral sex goes, in that such a long period of time, how...
31:48🔗
No, I didn't.
31:49🔗
Drew
Okay. The virus is produced at the site of the sores. That's where the viral particles actually come out of your skin.
32:01🔗
Drew
At least that's where the high concentration of the virus is. Because there's some emitted prior to that in the region of the initial infection.
32:06🔗
Okay. But as far as like after not having it for so long, I mean, are your chances of giving...
32:15🔗
Sometimes sex......of giving, of having oral sex performed on you for my partner.
32:21🔗
What's the chances of them getting that if I haven't had any reoccurring symptoms?
32:27🔗
For that long of a period?
32:37🔗
Okay.
32:38🔗
Alright, thank you.
32:39🔗
Adam
You have some sex. Alright, enjoy. And I was thinking about, you know, it's dry cleaning places, it's always these big letters with the plant on premises.
32:54🔗
Adam
We do it there. But I'm thinking, I don't care where you do it. I always think to myself, it's not like my shirt doesn't... My shirt cannot be transported, I'm driving it here.
33:12🔗
Drew
Any other random thoughts you'd like to share with us? Anything about fast food? Yeah, that nap didn't just make you groggy, it made you grandiose.
33:24🔗
Yeah?
33:35🔗
Caller
My mom is a lesbian and she's been one since I was like 10 and recently I've like said some things, you know, to her that were really, you know, hurt her feelings.
33:55🔗
Caller
I don't know, I'm not really angry with her. It's just I guess I was kind of using it as kind of like, you know, to hurt her. Why?
34:06🔗
Drew
Well, somebody your age usually would be kind of angry or there's some reason you'd want to hurt her. Was she just, you know, hey mom, what's for breakfast? And by the way?
34:13🔗
Adam
No, no, it was out on the driving range. She told her she wasn't keeping her head down, wasn't falling through to the proper rotation of the hip. Yeah, it really crushed her. What'd you tell her, Will?
34:25🔗
Caller
Well, I was leaving for school the other morning and she was yelling at me and I told her to, you know, go lick her girlfriend.
34:34🔗
Adam
Well, listen, you are kind of asking for it when you tell your teenage son you're a lesbian. I mean, in terms of sort of opening the floodgates for insults. Well, yeah, she shouldn't have told you.
34:48🔗
Caller
Oh, I don't know. I guess she went inside and when I got home, she was really upset. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to let her know that I love her.
35:25🔗
Adam
Well, listen, you don't know. Let me explain the lesbians. One of them has to be the dude. Yeah. Thank God your mom isn't the dude. It could be worse.
35:42🔗
Caller
Because she's like six foot three. No. No, she dresses like a man. Yeah. She always wears tennis shoes. She doesn't carry a purse. All right. Listen. She lays tile for a living. She does a man's job and strength is involved.
36:02🔗
Caller
My mom's unemployed. Her ex-husband, my stepdad is running from the IRS and it all comes on her.
36:11🔗
Adam
All right. All right. So, Will, first off, don't smoke pot. You'll freak out. You understand? You'll be thinking about the lesbian mom and the butch step mom and the tile setting and you'll go and say. So, you sound relatively intact.
36:27🔗
Drew
Well, this is what I want to focus on. He clearly has a very connected relationship with mom, but she's angry all the time right now. Why do you think she's angry all the time?
36:59🔗
Drew
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stuff. Why don't you, listen, you love your mom. You want to tell her that, but why don't you tell her you've just not been feeling right lately and maybe you guys can get an evaluation, maybe get something that can help you so you can start sort of getting off the dime a little bit again.
37:12🔗
Adam
I bet, listen, well you don't have to figure out a gift, what to put in a gift basket. You just tell her you love her sincerely and see if you can bury the hatchet a little with her.
37:21🔗
Drew
But let her know that when you're irritable and angry, feel worthless, those are all signs of depression.
37:27🔗
Drew
And it's her job. Here's where she can help you is to get you some care and she doesn't have to fix you and she doesn't have to be frustrated with the fact that you can't do your work because it's a problem here and needs to be treated.
37:43🔗
James Marsters
Yeah, but you can't say go lick your girlfriend. It's like saying go lick your boyfriend. You can't say that to your mom, man.
37:50🔗
Adam
No, but it doesn't work like, Drew, your parents are still together, right? You couldn't go blow dad.
37:54🔗
Drew
No. But Will's like, got a crossbow. He's just like firing it off, right? He's just, pow.
38:00🔗
Adam
Yeah. I mean, you got to give him some points for pulling a sort of lesbian-specific slight out of his hat on the way out the door. I give the guy credit for that.
38:11🔗
Drew
You know what we like about it, and I hate to use the word like to something like that, is that it's so honest that it suggests, I mean, that he feels as though he can be himself and say whatever is on his mind about how egregious to his mom. And then he turns right around and says, oh, you know what? I really love my mom and I want to regain that connection. I mean, that's the sort of a real range of feelings that are sort of extraordinary and he needs help. He's depressed and he can't contain those feelings right now.
38:35🔗
Adam
All right. Well, speaking of range of feelings, we're going to take a range of a break. See, that's a good...
38:47🔗
Adam
And with the quilt, the extra quilt on the blanket with the cold weather, the heater going, really kicks it in.
39:15🔗
Drew
I mean, it seems like we just had... We just had our last cranberry diatribe, it seemed like.
39:24🔗
James Marsters
For juicing and cereal, cranberries, what the hell? Why did we cultivate this?
39:31🔗
Adam
I like cranberries. I don't like canned cranberries. We'll be right back. I will get into that.
39:39🔗
Adam
Here's the deal, I don't want to shoot my cranberry load this early in the week. We're not quite close enough, but I will give people my recipe. I have a sack of cranberries in my refrigerator from last year because I hoard cranberries because they go. Oh, yes, they get bought up. They really do, and you can't get them. Before you know it, you're scoring cranberries at the park from some black guys, 110 pounds and seven feet tall. He's got the shakes. He's doing anything to sell you those cranberries. I'm going to start hoarding, and I suggest to everyone, well, I'm going to get more. I'm going to make my own cranberries. I'm bringing some in.
40:30🔗
Adam
How dare you, Anderson? Let me tell you this. I will bring my own cranberry sauce to Thanksgiving festivities so I do not have to eat that crampy canned crap like the trailer trash. It is my family, and if they take offense to it, I say, how dare you? How dare me? How dare you for opening a can during this sacred holiday?
40:52🔗
Adam
Yes. How dare you open a can in front of a literal millionaire? You realize I could have cut my velvet tongue on that can? We'll take a break.
41:43🔗
Adam
All right, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. James Marsters is our guest tonight. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Tuesday nights, WB, eight o'clock. We had a little discussion about what is brine. Pickled brine.
42:04🔗
Adam
Brine is the other stuff that's in the jar that pickles in pig's feet and pickled eggs are in and all that kind of stuff. And for some reason that's brine. James seems to think it's saltwater.
42:22🔗
Adam
Yes, Drew doesn't have a good angle on brine though. So somebody get to the bottom of that and get back to us. And yes, Drew, let's not let me forget.
42:30🔗
Adam
Let's... Well, it probably means saltwater, but you wouldn't use the ocean water for brine.
43:38🔗
Drew
Well, Brian Shrimp, I'm seeing here, and that's where I got the shellfish thing, I'm realizing.
43:44🔗
Caller
Yeah, I think it's me. Why? Well, ever since I was little, my mom always told me the sex was bad and this and that.
43:52🔗
Drew
Hang on a second. Water saturated or strongly impregnated with common salt. The water of a sea or a lake. Remember I said seawater?
44:08🔗
No.
44:10🔗
Drew
So Maria, we understand that your parents gave a lot of negative stuff about sexuality but it sounds like maybe something worse happened than that.
44:38🔗
Caller
I mean, I was like when I was in high school and I always had a boyfriend, I didn't lose my return in it until I was 19.
44:56🔗
Adam
Oh, Christ. From the frying pan into the fire, everybody. And, uh, where is your dad around?
45:51🔗
Adam
Oh, by the way, this is our second night in a row of going to Mexico on a vacation rape story.
46:03🔗
Drew
That's not good. Okay. That's sometimes enough to cause some pretty wild behaviors in young people. But this isn't really that story either yet.
46:12🔗
Adam
All right. So listen, Maria, you like your husband. He doesn't beat on you. He doesn't drink. He's a good guy. He's an abusive guy. Great guy.
46:26🔗
Adam
How dare you question my questionosity? Here's what you do. We've talked about this before. You can change your behaviors by just doing the behavior. You don't have any big obstacles in your way. You're a little bit freaked out. And the further you get away from it, the further you'll get next time. And that didn't make any sense. But you know what I mean? You become sort of dormant.
46:51🔗
Adam
No, I'm not. What I'm saying is, let's not dissect it. Dissect it until there's nothing left.
47:00🔗
Drew
They didn't so much tell you that sex was bad, but that sex outside of marriage was bad, right?
47:12🔗
Adam
Drew, aren't you glad we got her back for another breathtaking 30 seconds with the auctioneer, Maria? Just lie down and open your legs and let your husband get on there for a few minutes. It's fine. You're married. Hold still. You don't have to love.
47:34🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something. You don't have to enjoy anything in life. You go to work. You don't have to like that.
47:39🔗
Adam
Why do we have to love everything? Just start doing it. Stop loving everything, everybody.
47:43🔗
Drew
James, have you not learned yet that when he says weird stuff like that, just let it go.
47:47🔗
Adam
Let me tell you this. We're under the impression now as a society, I don't think we were 50 years ago, that we must be in love with everything in order to do it. Hey, I got a job. It's gratifying. It's fulfilling. I love it. I love this and I love that. I got an SUV and I'm going to Extreme Mountain. I'm camping next week because I love that. I'm going to Paris. Stop loving everything. Just hold still. Let someone love on you for a while. You don't have to love everything. Thank you. Get back on the couch. Is this another Maria?
48:17🔗
Adam
Yes. Get back on the couch. Get off that goddamn mountain bike and get back on the couch.
48:28🔗
First of all, I want to say, Drew, you are totally underrated. People do not give you enough credit.
48:39🔗
And Anderson is a technical genius. He cracks me up all the time.
48:46🔗
Yeah.
48:51🔗
Shocking.
48:58🔗
You're just a genius.
48:59🔗
Adam
Thank you. Now, hold on. We got to go to break. Take a break with that. Let's see. What happens to him? What? What about his penis here, Drew?
49:10🔗
Adam
Drew, let me ask you something, speaking of genius. Once every 100th caller, I make the junior college call.
49:28🔗
Adam
Or the junior college? When I hear a goofy voice on a guy praising Drew and Engineer Anderson, I know Virgin. I know there's a guy who's a beaten as a baloney.
49:43🔗
You are an asshole.
49:46🔗
Adam
All right. James Marsters is our guest tonight above the vampires. We'll take a quick break and get back with the Virgin Anthony after this.
50:18🔗
Drew
Hey, it's Loveline, we're here with James Marsters from Buffy the Lamp Vampire Slayer. Get in the room with your figure of gas, Adam. I didn't know you were going to fart in the middle of...
50:30🔗
Adam
I thought I had a little fart going there, yeah. That's good radio, Drew, and I can time the fart right...
50:45🔗
Drew
We were studying some autographs the other day. A girl comes up and goes, Adam, nice farts. And I thought to myself, people are listening to you when you just blow gas. Aren't you slightly embarrassed?
50:56🔗
Adam
You know, I should be. I really should be, but you know what? My job is to step aside and get outside of myself and entertain, Drew, whether... whichever orifice I use, whether it's the mouth, the anus, it's to entertain. I'm an entertainer.
51:12🔗
Adam
It's the fear and shaking my ass. These are the things that I make my living from. That's right. That's right. I entertain. You understand, Drew? Yeah, I just understand. Okay, so I don't worry. I don't sit and examine every word that comes out like you do, Drew.
51:30🔗
James Marsters
Yeah, this is the power of the media, though. Anybody farting normally would not be quite so cool, but you can.
51:43🔗
Adam
She did appreciate it. And that was one of our... I'll tell you, you get more feedback from the Big Fart Show. That was your birthday. It was a birthday show. We did it from out in the hall, sitting on a trash can.
51:54🔗
Adam
Right, because Drew had to go in the hall. It was so bad. But, you know, I didn't want to say...
52:00🔗
Adam
This is farting weather. You know, we touched on it a little earlier, and I'll tell you why it's farting weather. First off, you're wearing clothing that is sort of conducive to farting with, like, sweatpants or thick...
52:16🔗
Adam
Thick things. Well, you're driving with the windows rolled up and the heater on. I mean, that's it. I mean, think about the difference between breaking wind in a car with the sunroof open and the windows down and the air conditioning on or the heater going, defrosters going, and all the windows rolled up. I mean, that is night and day.
52:34🔗
Drew
But somehow that brisk, cold air can neutralize it, and I say, well, on a hot day, you're already miserable, and then you're blasted.
52:40🔗
Adam
That's true, but who's rolling the windows down? I lock the windows in my car. My partner Jimmy not only locks the windows, but he locks the doors, because I tried to open his car door when I couldn't get the window open on the freeway. It's wonderful. Now, when you're at home, you got the heat going, you got the windows closed, and you got that big down comforter over you, and it's tucked in on your feet.
53:05🔗
Drew
This is what tossers and flingers become preoccupied. Flingers, as they grow older, and tossers, when they're on their meds, talk like this.
53:12🔗
James Marsters
I was wondering, do the tossers live down on the flingers, or vice versa, or do they-
53:22🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, when you're a flinger, you're a flinger for life, right? You get the jacket, you get the colors, the initiation. I don't want to even tell you what that is. Oh, boy. Anthony?
53:34🔗
Now, this is wonderful.
53:36🔗
Hey, I saw that guy on TV tonight.
53:39🔗
Dude, he was as bad as you say he is. I thought you were exaggerating. No. You weren't one bit. He's that bad. He was just walking around like interviewing random people off the street for no reason.
53:50🔗
Adam
Yeah. You know what I love about Dr. Drew? He has been on television in Los Angeles for 37 years every night for 37 years. Drew has lived in Pasadena for 42 years and has never heard of Hewell Hauser, never seen him and has no idea who he is. That is the beauty of Dr. Drew, everybody.
54:10🔗
He was on the street like two blocks from my house and I had never heard of him.
54:17🔗
Alright, when I masturbate, I barely come at all and I was wondering if that would give me problems later on.
54:31🔗
Drew
No, that is fine, but I imagine it is because you are Yeah, see if you can slow it down to five times a day. Exactly.
54:37🔗
No, it is not even that much. I like it once a day. Well, maybe.
54:50🔗
Adam
Oh, with the S word. Really? Even nerds are getting blown now. Do you understand the significance of that?
55:00🔗
Adam
When I was in high school, yes, when I was in high school, only the upper echelon of the coolest of the cool dudes got the BJs. Yeah. And the guys who got the BJs were even ahead of those who got sex.
55:15🔗
Adam
Right. Meaning, there was always some nerdy guy who was dating some nerdy girl and they had been together for four and a half years and he was getting sex, but then there was the guys getting the BJs on the first and second date. I was not one of these guys, but I didn't know a guy who knew one of these guys who was getting blown. So, as you can see, I was on the inside in a way myself.
55:50🔗
James Marsters
Kyle, have you just been watching porn and you have a higher expectation of yourself?
56:03🔗
Caller
Oh, you settled it? No, no. Go, go. I didn't hear that part. It's a mixture of salt, water, and then some sort of acidity, like a vinegar.
56:13🔗
Caller
And then some sort of spices, tickling spices. It just comes from kind of ancient times before they had refrigeration, things to do to preserve meats and vegetables so they can carry them through the winter.
56:29🔗
Caller
They're talking about it. Every culture has its own variation. Japanese culture pressed the fish in between layers of vinegar and rice, and that's where sushi came from. Every culture has its own little different take on it.
56:40🔗
Adam
Well, hold on a second. Now, the salting meat is like more the jerky, pemmican, drying the meat to last the winter kind of thing. The brine is actually, it's submerging it in something.
56:52🔗
James Marsters
Yeah, so we don't have to waste those pig's feet. You know, they don't want to go bad on you.
56:57🔗
Drew
How do you eat a pig's feet? You can pick it up and chew on it like a popsicle, you know.
57:01🔗
Adam
First thing you need to do is take the rope you're using to hold up your pants and tie that around the bottom end so you can get a good grasp on the pig's foot. Oh, who knows? You just, it's, I don't know who eats pig's feet. I think black people and the whitest of the white trash is really the spectrum, no one in between. It's to be a lino trash or black. Oh yeah, oh yeah, and oh yeah, foreigners, all bets are off at the, yeah, the Europeans. Kyle?
57:29🔗
Adam
What else do we have a question remember about? What do you know about that? Drew wants to know about salting the meat.
57:35🔗
Caller
Salting the meat, what the salt does is it draws moisture out of anything that you pack it on top of. So if you put it on meat or vegetables and everything, what it will do is it will draw out all the moisture so that the moisture is what carries the bacteria and allows things to break down, prevents that from happening. Same kind of thing that you re doing with the brine is that you re pulling, drawing all the moisture out of it, you re keeping it on the outside so it s what they call anaerobic so you don t have any of the anaerobic microorganisms that can cause like bacteria without the oxygen.
58:16🔗
Adam
I see. Let me ask you a question. It s sort of related. Why do those chefs get so much pun tang? How does that work? Who decided they were celebrities?
58:27🔗
Caller
In the front of the house, guys, the waiters, they re all pretty boys. Back in the kitchen, you know, we re just slinging pans around.
58:49🔗
Adam
I m going to need you. We re going to give you the number here because you have to call back in a week and a half or something when I give you the recipe.
58:57🔗
Caller
I was just listening to that and that gel that comes in the can, even though it s good with the leftovers, that s like the white trash.
59:04🔗
Adam
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, people opening cans on Thanksgiving. Are you going to give him the number? Have Ann do it? Yes. Ann, we re getting back because we ll have to trade some cranberry sauce secrets as we get a little bit. My Aunt Pat likes to leave it in the shape of the can. You can actually see the serrations from the side of the can.
59:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we pre-cut some disks. We didn't go ahead and cut the entire thing in case people don't get to that part of the disk. We'll have some for next year. We'll have a nice block for next year. My aunt Pat is one of these people that has the plastic container for the cardboard milk carton. Have you ever seen these things? One of those people with a thousand of those little change purses and stuff. She has a thing. It is square. It is for half gallon cardboard milk cartons. It has a hole in the top and a handle built on it. A little bottom tray where the handle is attached to. You drop it in there. She's had that thing for 32 years. Now when I go over there, I see where it's been repaired. I think to myself, okay, one of us is killing ourselves. I think to myself each Thanksgiving. I do not come from this family. You got 49 cents worth of milk. First off, how many times you had trouble handling the gallon milk in town? It's not like I pull it out of my fridge every day and it goes flying across the room. I handle it just fine. I don't, you know what? Why don't you put a handle on, put a handle on the soap, put a handle, what about that thing at Crisco? Doesn't that need a handle? What about the eggs? Don't they all need their little suction device, like their own little handles? Everything's got a handle on it. Handle on the milk cart. What the hell was I born into? True. You never, you didn't know. You ever see one of these things?
1:01:12🔗
Adam
I don't know if that was the in-house thing or she sent it out, maybe back to the manufacturer. I don't know who fixed that thing. I don't think you can get them anymore. She'll be fast. She's very fast to point that out when I make fun of it, that they don't make them anymore.
1:01:30🔗
Adam
Here's why, because people can hold the milk. You know why? There's something called opposable thumbs that we developed in the mid-50s, and now we can carry our milk.
1:01:56🔗
Yeah.
1:01:59🔗
Caller
The question is, I'm like really sexually active. Like with almost anyone. It could be male or female. My question is, is it normal? I mean, I need to have sex like three times a day. Masturbating is not cutting it anymore. And it's been going on for like the past, I don't know, few years where I just like need it constantly. He's bisexual.
1:02:48🔗
Adam
Oh, Michael. Yeah. Here's the people I'd like to talk to. Who's letting Michael have sex with them? Those are the folks I'd like to talk to. Forget about Michael having the sex. Yeah. Who's holding still long enough for Michael to mount up?
1:03:12🔗
Caller
No. Well, I mean, this isn't just, no, I didn't do that recently. This is when I was younger because my mom breeds them for.
1:03:50🔗
Caller
I mean, no, I talked to my dad and I kind of get along with him. But I've had a stepfather for the past 14 going on 15 years.
1:04:05🔗
Caller
Nope. Well, when I was like, I guess around the age of 13, my cousin sexually abused me.
1:04:28🔗
Adam
Okay. There we go. That's where we get the hypersexuality and the ambivalence and all that kind of stuff. I knew it was something. How many Pomeranians are in that backyard right now?
1:04:44🔗
Drew
All right. So the sexual abuse, Michael, is a major issue here, right? Major. It is what sort of fuels the sexual compulsion. And unless you find a way to sort of rewire what has happened to you.
1:05:53🔗
Caller
I had suicide attempts and then I just pretty much got over it. I figured the way I'm dealing with it now is like to become really sexually active.
1:06:09🔗
Caller
It's not healthy because I have it like there's times where I have it so much that my groin kind of starts hurting.
1:06:26🔗
Adam
He's got that maniacal man sign that's left. No, I know what you're saying. Now listen. Okay. Hold on a second. First off, you got to move out of that house. One Pomeranian is too many. Those are the world's crappiest dogs. All you people that like those dogs are like rats. Oh God. You should just be put on some barge and drag down the middle of the ocean and just burn. I cannot stand those little things. And this guy's got to move out. He's got to get out of that house. And he's got to get back into a little therapy. And this internet, Drew.
1:07:06🔗
Adam
Oh, interesting. No, but there's a lot. See, here's what's going on. I mean, look at it this way. We have, you know, we know from doing this show that society is decaying at a rapid pace, right? And as the society, it just sort of, I think when we take a look at this Internet thing, we'll say, we'll be able to look at some sort of chart that says, wow, society really hit rock bottom and this Internet came about the same time.
1:07:34🔗
Adam
No, I don't care. But listen, I live up in the hills. I'm literally a millionaire. I just want to get to work and back without getting shot. I'm fine. If I just wade through the trash and humanity, I'll be fine. But there's a lot of, I don't think society is crumbling, but there's a growing population of sort of screwed up people who are more apt to act out. And they can be found via the internet. And these are the people that are attracted to the internet oftentimes. These are lonely people. These are people who have social problems. People have, they're not the captain of the football team. They're not the head of the cheerleading squad. They're attracted to the internet. And I have friends I talk to about this where they spend time on the internet and they're meeting all kinds of people. And if you got your own car and you got a job and you got a few bucks in your wallet and you're on that thing and you got a good rap, I mean, you can stay busy.
1:08:40🔗
Adam
Right. There you go. Let's see, 85 to 90 percent. Let's see, I mean, I have like really good... You're just going and banging you. You're just having sex with a bunch of guys whose uncle and cousin got hold of them when they were 12.
1:08:55🔗
Yikes.
1:09:10🔗
Caller
I'm seriously, like, I know that I've never had any, like, sexually transmitted diseases.
1:09:30🔗
Adam
That's right, SA. All right, that's it. Go there and move out of that house. I'm done talking to you. Go to SA and move out of that Pomeranian hell hole. At least the guy's sort of gregarious about it.
1:09:46🔗
Adam
He's sort of chocular about the whole thing. My cousin, my last name, and his older brother held me down and I was violated and sodomy. Yeah, those are the days. The old molestation days with the cousins, yeah. You see what you people turn other people into? You see, this is what happens. It doesn't happen once you get a little bit older and the cement in your brain dries, like mine. Mine has become petrified now. Nothing can penetrate it. Even actual bits of useful information cannot permeate my skull. Cryptonite can't penetrate it. Yes, but spent uranium could not make it. It's not hard enough to impregnate my skull, but when you're ten and you're nine and you're five and you're eleven and that uncle gives you a little goosin after a few sixers of Pabst tall boys, pow, locked in, then it becomes frozen and it can't get out. Aha! See? Nothing can get in, but for for a caller nothing can get out. That's heavy, Drew. Write that down. James Marsters is our guest tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be back after this.
1:11:50🔗
Adam
James Marsters is our guest tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, everybody. He plays Spike the Vampire.
1:11:59🔗
Adam
That's right, right? Just behind the man show. WB, everyone, Tuesday nights, eight o'clock. Drew, who are all the good looking people in that next room? It's really an attractive group in there. Who is that?
1:12:22🔗
Drew
It's people that either put that deal together or actually from that company. And now drdrew.com is a part of Dr. Coop.
1:12:27🔗
Adam
Wow. What are they? Do they work, these people? I mean, they're good looking. They shouldn't be working. They're like work in an office in a movie. You know, like in TV series, they have good looking people working.
1:12:44🔗
Adam
Which one of you chicks is the explosives expert? The explosives and who throws the knives? I see. And oh no, hold on. You can't have two. You know, it is funny. They never have two people that are pretty good with knives. One is good with knives. One's the ballistics expert. The other is the now the new addition is now the computer. They can hack in any system, right? Which one of you hacks in any system? Over here in the middle. And who's the sexy, super sexy one who never actually has sex?
1:13:21🔗
Adam
Oh, the psychologist with the hair in the bun and the glasses were really, really hot. Short skirts with the slit up the side. Yeah. And then the martial arts expert. They're all there. All right. Well, that is a very attractive bunch, Drew. You were smart to jump ship at that drew.com and get in with the good looking people over at coop.com. Is that it?
1:13:51🔗
Adam
I like see Everett Coop because he looks like he looks like the guy who's on the cover of that Kansas album. You remember that?
1:13:59🔗
Adam
Is that Captain Ahab? You ever see that Kansas album from like the early 80s? The guy with the beard and no mustache? I can't think of it. Oh, Drew, I'm looking at you. You don't know Steve Largen as you retire. Maria? Never seen the shining. You understand Drew's never seen the shining?
1:14:39🔗
Caller
It's a, it's not a chain of a, I see. Um, actually two brothers founded it about four years ago. And one of the brothers has become a good friend of mine.
1:15:02🔗
Adam
Yeah. Let me tell you something. I was going on a little jag about, uh, chefs getting a lot of tail and for some reason, women looking at chefs as if they were some sort of celebrity. Uh, restaurant owners are amongst the slimmiest guys on the planet. Yes. Restaurant tours, if they're not gay or slimy.
1:15:21🔗
James Marsters
They're the people who have flunked out of every other management program in the world.
1:15:25🔗
Adam
The 10% of restaurant owners that aren't gay are slime balls. I don't trust these guys.
1:15:50🔗
Drew
Yeah, but the point is that that is just part of that food chain of restaurants. And the management.
1:15:55🔗
Adam
Time to clean. Oh, yes. Yeah, no, I was smart. Yes, I waited tables at a restaurant where you're forbidden for tipping. That was my genius when I was 16. Maria, are you having sex with him?
1:16:17🔗
Caller
No, because I mean, I'm not the only one. But I mean, he definitely has focused on me.
1:16:44🔗
Adam
So you're not going to see. We know she drew. Wait a minute. She can't couldn't have been raped or molested because she's not going for it.
1:16:53🔗
Caller
But I'm just wondering, he because there definitely is an attraction there. And I don't know why I am attracted to him at all.
1:17:01🔗
Adam
Well, he's got that leather members only jacket. He drives that I rock. He gets to call the he's the guy makes the uses the marks a lot board and does a special. Now this writes a special with a picture of the crab in the corner.
1:17:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's the power. He's the alpha male over there. He decides he decides you're going with the bullion base instead of the gazpacho.
1:17:30🔗
Caller
I'm just wondering, he's always saying, I mean, he's definitely like kept his, I wouldn't say kept his distance, but he has refrained from crossing the line. All right.
1:17:59🔗
Adam
Just tell her yes. A year and nine months from now, I want you to go balls out for this.
1:18:11🔗
Adam
I understand you thinking this way. Everyone thought this way when they're 16, but when you get to be old like us and you look back on it, you realize it is comical. It really is. It's almost retarded and it's logic. You'll be in love with some guy in a month and a half from now.
1:18:34🔗
Adam
Well, you're very mature. I can tell you that. You're probably too old for your average 16, 17-year-old.
1:18:44🔗
Adam
But listen, what's wrong with dating an idiot? Guys do it all the time. Can't you find a good-looking guy who's not so smart and just hang with him?
1:18:57🔗
Caller
I don't know. I'm six foot tall and I think that's very intimidating for some people.
1:19:20🔗
Adam
Let me explain something, y'all. I've used this example before and I'm going to use it again. The women who, and the men, although men never use this, never have this angle, I'm too good looking to date. Women are intimidated. Although I may start adopting them.
1:19:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. Why? Why don't I date? Frankly, I'm too hot. Women are intimidated. I'm over six foot. I'm broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip and I have very silky skin. I hear a touch. See that? So women are intimidated. But women do use this once in a while, which is they're too hot to date. Men are scared to talk to them. I say like this, I use this example. If you put an ad in the paper that says, 1999 Turbo Porsche, Cobalt Blue, 5,000 miles, mint condition, never driven in the rain, always garage, all records owned by one doctor, $100. There's a certain amount of people who wouldn't even pick up the phone because there's gotta be a joke. This is a goof. That's 10%. Everyone else is diving on the phone trying to get that Turbo Porsche for $100. And that's what I say about these six foot superwomen that are too good looking to date. Yes, there is a certain percentage of men who will not come up and talk to you. The same guys who wouldn't pick up the phone to get that Turbo Porsche. Everyone else is on top of you. Just like the guys who are, you think you're not gonna get a phone call, you put a Turbo Porsche in for $100. Believe me, the phone's ringing. And if you're a super good looking chick, the phone's ringing. Because let me just do the math for you. If you're moderately good looking and you're getting asked out on dates and you're better looking than moderate and then you're super good looking, that's how it goes up. Believe me.
1:21:13🔗
Adam
It doesn't matter. Six foot tall, hot looking, guys are asking out. And if they're not, it's something that you're doing. It's not about you being intimidating.
1:21:27🔗
Adam
I love it when guys do that. In a year and 11 months, I'm going to be banging the bejeezus out of you on your birthday. I'll just take the cake, slide it right off the table and start banging you. Jennifer, you're 17. What's up?
1:21:52🔗
James Marsters
They're very different. I think probably performing on stage is a lot funner because you're kind of in control of the whole story. It doesn't matter if the producer is dead, frankly, as long as the audience is there. I love the producers on the show. When you're doing film, you're more like a building block for someone else to tell a story. They make you look a lot cuter on film, so you got that.
1:22:16🔗
Caller
I also want to say you're great. You're awesome. I watch Buffy every week. I can't believe I'm actually talking to you.
1:22:22🔗
James Marsters
Oh, sweet. There's 200 people working on Buffy, and all 200 of them are making me look cool, though.
1:22:37🔗
Caller
Well, I watched it mainly because I saw the old one. I want to see how they did the new one, to compare.
1:22:42🔗
Adam
I saw the house on Haunted Hill, and I liked it, but I was a little bit frustrated because I and the guy I watch it with, we're both stoned by the way, but at the end, we both looked at each other and said, it's not the house on Haunted Hill, it's the Haunted Hill on, it's the Haunted House on the Hill.
1:23:03🔗
Adam
Yes. The haunted house on the Steep Hill is what I would have called it more accurate. We're both upset. We started to compose a letter and then we decided to eat one.
1:23:14🔗
James Marsters
I think the focus groups reacted well to Steep Hill. It just didn't have anything.
1:23:37🔗
Adam
They have Junior Hesher and then Super Stoner and then the Schicoli Trey with that. I had to borrow a pallet jack to get a Hershey's block out of that. Get the thing up and drag it. And thank God I was driving the truck with the hitch on it. I was able to tow it back to the house.
1:23:55🔗
Drew
But what happened to the days when you buy candy at the movie theaters? It'd be like six jujubes.
1:24:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's jumbo, but the candy now has more air in it. So it's not quite as bad. Everything has this sort of flaky pastry center with a lot of air. So you get the impression of a big block, but it's a lot of air in there. Yeah, I missed, Drew, did you smuggle? And James, you remember smuggling candy into the movie theaters as a kid?
1:24:49🔗
James Marsters
That is low rent. That's poor, man. It's like you got two bucks in your pocket. You go to the second-rate movie theater and you don't have anything else. You get two bucks and you're out.
1:25:07🔗
James Marsters
No, but can. And then trying to open the thing waiting for the credits to get loud enough before.
1:25:12🔗
Adam
Yeah. I like when guys are drinking in the back of the theater and the bottle drops and it just rolls. It just goes. I mean, like that Miller bottle just goes all the way. For some reason, guys who drinks it in the back and they need more roll on their bottle or something. Or maybe we don't know about the guys who drink in the front because there's no bottle roll. But then that thing will go and it just keep going all the way down. Yeah, they used to go to the liquor store and stock up on the candy and smuggle it in. There was something very gratifying about beating the system that way. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. James Marsters is here from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dr. Drew is here from Pasadena. I'm going to go socialize with Drew's good-looking friends. What do you say, Drew?
1:25:56🔗
Adam
All right, we'll be back. Yeah, it is love line of Adam Carolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number, oh, forget about that. I'm just trying to kill time. James Marsters is our guest tonight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He plays that vampire spike. WB, Tuesday nights at 8 o'clock. We've cleared up that controversy, Drew. You ready to go?
1:27:02🔗
Caller
Hey, how you doing? Good. I got a question. It's about a blue ball. And is it like a normal, common thing or?
1:27:28🔗
Adam
But the real, you know, I mean, the layman's is, you know, it's when the bitches ain't putting out, right? And that's what Drew just wrote down on a scratch pad.
1:27:38🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's usually a dull nauseating pain. It actually is kind of actually incapacitating.
1:27:47🔗
Caller
Last year, I was dating a girl and she... I don't know if she had finally let me have sex with her, but she didn't want it that way, so I wasn't pushing it. All right.
1:28:05🔗
Adam
Some alternatives. Yeah, some imaginative alternatives, such like a hand job or blow job. Something that ends with job, rim job. And hey, by the way, when you're having sex and you're getting something that has job in it, that's good.
1:28:20🔗
Adam
Put me down for whatever has job. Work, maybe. I like the idea of the work being associated with the sex.
1:28:36🔗
Caller
Getting off. Okay, I haven't had that problem lately because I have meetings more easily. Girls are easier to take to bed.
1:28:46🔗
Adam
It's congestion. Well, listen, here's what it is. It's not a good idea to interrupt the cycle or process of release in any facet of biology. I figured this out. Meaning, if you have to sneeze, you should sneeze. You shouldn't grab your nose at the last second. You'll blow, your nuts will explode, right?
1:29:11🔗
Adam
Whatever it is you're trying to do, whether it's vomit or sneeze or ejaculate or take a leak or take a dump, whatever it is, you should do it. And if you don't do it, you're liable to hurt something.
1:29:24🔗
Adam
And this is sort of a slower process, the ejaculation. But it's sort of the same thing. And same theories apply, which is your area says, hey, we're going, we're going, boys.
1:29:36🔗
James Marsters
And that's what the wet dream is for, isn't it? That's what we're jumping. We don't care what you're going to do.
1:29:44🔗
James Marsters
I mean, over, I went to wet dream way before Blue Balls. Tonight, I've learned that it actually exists. I thought it was just something that some people.
1:29:53🔗
Adam
Well, what it is is you make out with someone for five hours, but you never get that release. And you don't know about that because you're a celebrity and you play the guitar. So you have you insist on the orgasm before the date with the young lady. And they usually go go along with that. But if you weren't on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer and you didn't play the guitar next year next year, you have to join our ranks where you don't have that release until you can get home and get it yourself. By the way, you know the dates going bad when you're thinking, I can't wait to get home and jack off.
1:30:28🔗
Adam
Let's wrap this up so I can get home and get it. My stuff. This could be great. He's like, look down your junk. You go to the bathroom. I'm sorry, brother. I know it's four and a half hours. I know it's long for me to hang in there. We'll be home soon.
1:30:49🔗
Yeah.
1:30:50🔗
What's up? Yeah. Recently, I had four members of my family murdered. And I just wanted to know, like, how do I deal with things? Like, I'm playing sports. Obviously, I am still in college. And I just, like, sometimes I just don't want to get up. I don't want to.
1:31:11🔗
Um, it was my sister, my sister and my sister's boyfriend. I don't know when I did decide it. They thought that my parents were going to divorce each other. And it ended up to be that they tried staging a burglary. But I guess it got out of control and they ended up killing my dad, my two brothers and my sister.
1:31:33🔗
My, my sister's boyfriend. Um, it goes into detail like, um, my sister's boyfriend told, told, told my, um, Laura, please, told, told my, my sister's boyfriend told my sister to wait in the bathroom and he said that he was going to just get a tie up everyone and everything was not supposed to happen the way it did, but it ended up going the way it did.
1:31:57🔗
Drew
There's something very wrong with this story, first of all. Whatever really happened is not what you're being told.
1:32:04🔗
Drew
They pretended to have a burglary, pretending because they thought they were going to get a divorce.
1:32:12🔗
Adam
Now that's retarded. Imagine. I'm thinking, I don't know if I'm making a lie to this, but if you're the dad and you realize his sister's boyfriend is about to kill you, your last thought has to be, you are so grounded, you know what I mean? Like, you were grounded for a million years, you know what I mean? You thought you put in a dent and the Buick was grounding, you ain't seen nothing yet. Boyfriend killing me?
1:32:49🔗
You guys don't think I'm like...
1:32:55🔗
The detectives are telling me and I woke up and I woke up in the middle of of like everything. I saw my dad before he died.
1:33:04🔗
Yeah, it so happened that because my door was closed, I was fortunate enough. My sister, me and my sister are the only ones, plus my mom who was stabbed but somehow like made it.
1:33:20🔗
No.
1:33:24🔗
They told us they weren't doing anything. I'm pretty sure that my sister was saying, I don't know what her problem was. The thing is supposedly the reason why we didn't hear no screams is because they put tape over everyone's mouth because it was in the middle of the night.
1:33:47🔗
They weren't divorced. She thought they were just because my dad may comment.
1:33:51🔗
Adam
Okay. That's different now. He thought they were going to get divorced, so he killed everyone.
1:33:54🔗
She was just scared supposedly and-
1:34:01🔗
Adam
Why would you kill people over a divorce? And why would your sister's boyfriend care that your parents were getting divorced?
1:34:09🔗
I have no idea.
1:34:12🔗
Adam
What's going on here? Listen, I don't- I mean, you can grieve and I'm sorry for what's happened and all that.
1:34:23🔗
Drew
Here is the SB. Have you taken advantage of victims of violent crimes or anything like that?
1:34:27🔗
Yeah, that's how we had- it happened on July 21st. So we already had everything paid for and everything. We've got that and I'm seeing a therapist and everything.
1:34:36🔗
Drew
All right, good. Because you're going to have a post-traumatic stress disorder from this.
1:34:42🔗
No, my mom was.
1:34:46🔗
No.
1:34:49🔗
Yeah.
1:34:51🔗
Adam
I mean, not just, but I mean- yeah, I didn't mean to say just, but you know what I mean.
1:34:55🔗
Yeah, only.
1:35:02🔗
Taking Selexa. Is it helping? Not really.
1:35:06🔗
Drew
You really- you got to get back to the psychiatrist, whoever is prescribing, because this needs to be dealt with regularly and carefully, and you have to have lots of follow-up.
1:35:15🔗
I see them every week, every week on Wednesday.
1:35:19🔗
Psychiatrist. It's just not working.
1:35:23🔗
I play basketball too, and I'm like keeping up with-
1:35:25🔗
Drew
It's amazing you're doing as well as your RSP. It's amazing. Yeah. Listen, don't look so much at the negative now. Look at the fact that you're able to be at school, you're able to function, you're feeling okay, you survive. There's just a ton. It's going to take a long time to even be remotely near normal.
1:35:40🔗
Adam
And look at the fact that you are spared as some sort of message or mission. I mean, I don't want to get too philosophical about the whole thing, but you were spared, you have your life, and you can still have a good life and do good work and have your own family and sort of live on-
1:36:02🔗
Drew
And listen, be clear with your psychiatrist about the fact that your symptoms are not well controlled. I'm not sure that you're really telling them that.
1:37:02🔗
Adam
Very depressing. All right, James Marsters, everybody. I don't know, I'm too depressed to even plug it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tuesday nights, 8 o'clock, WB. Thanks, James.
1:37:14🔗
Adam
Good seeing you. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:37:23🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.