Monday, November 13, 2000

2:33🔗 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:49🔗 Adam Ah, yes. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. You know what ran through my mind right before I leaned up to the microphone?

3:08🔗 Drew I want to go home?

3:09🔗 Adam The phrase, no, not this show again. I swear to Christ. Something in my head just flashed. Not this show again. Drew, I tried to call you before you left. At home? Yeah. Where are you going? What do you have in an affair? I called you at 922. You left already.

3:24🔗 Drew That's right when I leave.

3:25🔗 Adam Really? You're seeing somebody else? No. Why are you leaving so early?

3:28🔗 Drew That's what it takes to get here.

3:30🔗 Adam You're 25 minutes away.

3:32🔗 Drew 30 minutes.

3:32🔗 Adam 30 minutes away?

3:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:34🔗 Adam All right. There's still eight minutes there.

3:35🔗 Drew Yeah. I like to have a little buffer. Not the two minutes that you're going for.

3:41🔗 Adam If the car in front of me downshifts once.

3:43🔗 Drew You're done.

3:45🔗 Adam I'll be late. As a matter of fact, you know you're coming in late consistently when you find your co-host sitting in your seat, poised in front of the computer screen, ready to push buttons as you walk in.

3:56🔗 Drew But you have sort of two ways you can get here. You know what I mean? I have one way and if it gets screwed up by traffic or something, I'm toast. That's right.

4:02🔗 Adam All right. You got any sleeping pills on you?

4:04🔗 Drew Is that what you were calling me?

4:05🔗 Adam I did. Yeah. I want some drugs. You got anything? Nothing in the car?

4:09🔗 Drew No.

4:09🔗 Adam I'm going to search the car. Okay? During the break.

4:12🔗 Drew I'll go with you.

4:13🔗 Adam Fuel's our guest tonight. We have Carl and Frank.

4:15🔗 Drew Where are you going anyway?

4:17🔗 Adam I got to get up early tomorrow. Where are you going? I got to get myself out. I got to do some man show promos. We got a new season coming up.

4:23🔗 Fuel Sleeping pills now, huh?

4:25🔗 Adam I like to take the sleeping pill. It's a great strategy. Jesus Christ. I should be sued. I like to pop it on the ride home so I'm really peeking as I'm pulling into the garage.

4:35🔗 Fuel Makes you drive faster because you got to hurry up and get to the bed.

4:37🔗 Adam Right, right. You got to beat the rush.

4:39🔗 Fuel There you go.

4:40🔗 Drew Oh my God.

4:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:42🔗 How dare you?

4:44🔗 Give us a head start tonight, all right?

4:45🔗 Adam Bad strategy. All right, well, Drew takes his at 11, so he's wound down by the time the show ends. Anyway, Fuel, yes, Something Like Humans, the name of the CD. We're going to hear some tracks off of that. Good to see you guys.

4:59🔗 Fuel Yeah, it's nice to be here.

5:00🔗 Adam We will, Fuel, by the way, is going to be at the Whiskey out here, the fabulous, world-famous, historic Whiskey on the Sunset Strip three days in a row, 14th, 15th, and 16th. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?

5:13🔗 Fuel Yeah.

5:14🔗 Adam Yeah?

5:15🔗 Fuel No, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

5:16🔗 Adam No, right.

5:16🔗 Fuel Yeah.

5:17🔗 Adam Thanks, Drew. I shouldn't look at you. And then Gotham in San Bernardino, House of Blues in Las Vegas. You guys played there before, House of Blues in Las Vegas?

5:27🔗 Fuel Yeah, that's a great place. They just put that up not too long ago.

5:30🔗 Drew Just for us.

5:31🔗 Fuel Just for us. Nobody else gets to play there.

5:33🔗 Adam Wait a minute, where's that House of Blues?

5:35🔗 Drew Mandalay Bay.

5:35🔗 Fuel It's the Mandalay Bay, yeah.

5:37🔗 Adam I think I've been there. I went down in the, it's down, like, is it kind of like in the basement, or do you go downstairs to get there?

5:44🔗 Drew No.

5:45🔗 Adam Upstairs.

5:45🔗 Fuel You can't answer that question.

5:46🔗 Drew You walk straight in.

5:48🔗 Adam Really? Now, Drew, isn't there, I swear, you know the problem with Vegas is, it's dark and I'm drunk every time. Every time. I've been there, like, a hundred and fifty.

5:58🔗 Drew And there's annoying noises going on.

6:00🔗 Adam I've been there a hundred and fifty times and never can find anything.

6:02🔗 Drew You're confusing it with the Olympic Gardens.

6:04🔗 Adam How dare you bring that up on the radio, Drew? No, I am not confusing it with the Olympic Gardens.

6:09🔗 Drew Well, that's right, you couldn't possibly confuse it with anything.

6:11🔗 Adam No, I know the Olympic Gardens.

6:12🔗 Drew You could do that with your eyes closed.

6:13🔗 Adam I could walk from here to the Olympic Gardens if you spun me around and put a blindfold on me and gave me a donkey's tail, the pin on one of the hookers, I mean strippers. By the way, those chicks just want money.

6:25🔗 Drew Titles.

6:25🔗 Adam They want money. That's all they want.

6:27🔗 Drew Wow, you're learning. You're growing up. You thought they were there for you.

6:30🔗 Adam It's all that. We enjoy the show. They really care about your needs. No, they do not.

6:35🔗 Drew Minka, put that over the place.

6:36🔗 You need to spend more than $50, then, maybe.

6:38🔗 Adam Oh, my God. I'll tell you, in the old days, if I dropped 18 bucks at a strip joint, it was a big day. I mean, it was a big night. You know what I'm saying?

6:51🔗 Fuel You gotta pay that just to get in the door.

6:52🔗 Adam Oh, my God. Now, it's crazy. 20's just peeling off. I'm convinced, though, that Lampdances would be 15 bucks if that's what came out of the ATM. Now, I'd like to, when I'm in charge, I'm going to invent a 15-dollar bill. Because I know Lampdances would be 15 bucks if ATM spit out 15-dollar bills. Everything is just all tipping. Everything's like 20 bucks now because that's what everyone has. You get a ride to the airport. What do you tip the guy? 20 bucks. 20 bucks. Everything's like 20 bucks. Eventually, you're going to go in, you're going to go to 7-Eleven, get a cup of coffee. Here's 20. Everything's just going to be 20 bucks. Yeah. A gallon of gas, a Twinkie, whatever. Cat food.

7:33🔗 Fuel I think we should just try to get them all to put out $10. That way we could save the $5.

7:38🔗 Adam I know if those things spit out. Good. That's right. That's why you're going to be my vice president. If those things spat out tens, Lampdances would be 10 bucks. There we go. Thank you. All right. So did I mention that the fuel's going to be at the whiskey for three days? And we'll hear something off CD and here we go with the phones. Sean, you're 26. What's up?

8:01🔗 Caller Well, when my girlfriend had our baby, throughout the pregnancy, her nipples ended up turning really dark.

8:07🔗 Drew Right.

8:08🔗 Caller And I was wondering...

8:09🔗 Drew That's what nipples do during pregnancy.

8:11🔗 Adam Oh, really?

8:12🔗 Caller Why is that?

8:13🔗 Adam We never got into that.

8:14🔗 Drew They enlarge and they change. It's a completely different hormonal environment.

8:17🔗 Caller Because it's like really unattractive.

8:20🔗 Adam Really?

8:20🔗 Drew I'm sorry, Sean.

8:21🔗 Adam What color is she?

8:23🔗 Caller She's white.

8:23🔗 Adam What's wrong with dark nipples?

8:25🔗 Caller Well, they were really pink before, and I don't know. It kind of turned me on, I guess.

8:29🔗 Drew Are they staying dark?

8:31🔗 Caller They're like a really dark brown.

8:33🔗 Drew They've stayed that way?

8:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:34🔗 Drew How long ago was the delivery?

8:36🔗 Caller Eight months ago.

8:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

8:39🔗 Fuel How long does that usually last?

8:40🔗 Drew That could be prominent.

8:42🔗 Adam That's sad. How big are they?

8:45🔗 Caller About the size of a silver dollar.

8:47🔗 Adam Nice. I like that. A lot of guys aren't into that. I'm fine with that big nipple thing. I like a little nipple play myself. I mean, on my own self. Right, Drew? Drew hates that, but I have sensitive nipples. I don't mind talking about it. I'm a guy. I'm fine with that. Right, Drew?

9:04🔗 Drew You certainly haven't held back.

9:05🔗 Adam No, I enjoy that.

9:07🔗 Drew We know.

9:08🔗 Adam I wish I could get to my own nipples. You know what I'm saying? Fondle your own nipples. No, I'm talking about...

9:12🔗 Oh, man.

9:16🔗 Adam Drew is so disgusted by that. I love that. All right.

9:21🔗 Sound effects.

9:22🔗 Drew Woody Allen Post just gave me two.

9:25🔗 Adam Sean? Yeah? She's mama now. You have to love her for mama. A little nipple color, I don't know. I mean...

9:32🔗 Drew No problem.

9:33🔗 Adam Yeah, don't you like that? Isn't it more defined? You know what I mean?

9:36🔗 Drew I'm going to talk him into it.

9:38🔗 Caller Yeah, well, it's just unattractive to me.

9:41🔗 Drew Hey, look, do you love your girlfriend? Yes, very much. Look, she's going to get older. She's going to change. Things are going to happen.

9:48🔗 Adam Right.

9:48🔗 Drew Look, take it easy. She's the mother of your child right now.

9:52🔗 Adam Yeah, and let me tell you, on this spectrum of things that can go south on a woman, this is a one. You know what I'm saying?

10:00🔗 Drew Well, look at the women have to put up with men, for God's sake.

10:03🔗 Adam I mean, physically?

10:05🔗 Drew It's just for starters, even in the best circumstances, and it just goes downhill.

10:10🔗 Adam Yeah, but they're more mature than we are. So they have that going for them. All right, Sean.

10:16🔗 How much, Sean, do you, I mean, are you slender, heavy?

10:20🔗 Caller What are you?

10:22🔗 Caller A little on the heavy side.

10:24🔗 Adam Shocking. And what do your balls look like? Well, yeah. Should there be a statue erected of your nuts and sent to France, or are they just ugly and droopy and saggy?

10:37🔗 Caller Well, I think there should be.

10:39🔗 Adam All right. All right, Sean. But listen, you've got a nice gut on yourself, right? Yeah. Okay. So listen, you're nothing to look at either. My balls look like the chin of an old Chinaman. They got hair. They got the long hairs on them, is what I'm saying. It's not that GI. Joe head hair. You know what I mean? It's that long Chinaman hair. Yeah. I like Chinaman, by the way. Everyone, the Chinaman think that's offensive, but I think Chinaman is funny. Chinaman is like- Just the word? Yeah, it's good slang. Hey, man, I grew up watching Kung Fu. They call me Chinaman. You keep moving. Take your flute and get out of town. They're trying to always call them Chinaman. That's how you knew there was trouble. Steve?

11:25🔗 Yeah.

11:26🔗 Adam You're 19.

11:27🔗 Caller Yep.

11:27🔗 Adam What's up?

11:28🔗 Caller I've been having sex with my girlfriend for about two weeks now. I've only had sex about three times, but about halfway through sex, I get like queasy, nauseous feeling. Like I want to throw up.

11:41🔗 Adam So the one and a half minute mark, you want to vomit?

11:44🔗 Caller A little bit longer than that.

11:46🔗 Drew You were a virgin before this? Yeah.

11:50🔗 Adam Why? You want to throw up, not like you ate something bad, but like you're nervous or?

11:55🔗 Caller I don't know. I just get like very nauseous. It's like queasy.

12:00🔗 Drew Are you disgusted in some way?

12:02🔗 Caller No, no, no.

12:03🔗 Drew What's the feeling?

12:06🔗 Caller Like I want to throw up.

12:08🔗 Adam Have you had this in other situations, like if you played like high school football before the big game or something like that?

12:16🔗 Caller Well, I'm playing hockey. Like I get nervous.

12:19🔗 Adam Yes. Replace football with hockey and then continue. Go.

12:23🔗 Caller Yeah. Something like that.

12:24🔗 Drew You get nauseated when you get nervous before the hockey game. So are you nervous? That's what we're going for here, that you're nervous during the game.

12:32🔗 Caller I don't think I am.

12:33🔗 Adam Steve, you get high-stick a few times or?

12:36🔗 Caller No.

12:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Let me ask you something about hockey players. What is it with the chin strap never being cinched down? You know hockey players that wear a helmet and then the chin strap. Chin strap hangs down like the handle on a bucket, like they're wearing a bucket on their head and the handle for the pail. It hangs out about six inches under their chin and then they get whacked.

12:55🔗 Drew Like a China man's beard?

12:56🔗 Adam Like that poor black guy who got whacked by a high stick by the king, McSorley. Right. His helmet basically came off before his head hit the ice because he had the thing hanging down. Why wear a helmet?

13:11🔗 You see that in war pictures, like when you see movies. They always run around with their helmet.

13:18🔗 Drew Why do kickers and NFL leave the strap undone?

13:21🔗 Adam Half of them do. To me, that's like, hey, listen, how lazy you got to be to can't fasten that thing. You go out on the field.

13:26🔗 Fuel Kickers are never going to get hit hardly any.

13:28🔗 Adam I know, but listen.

13:29🔗 Drew You never know what you're going to be called upon.

13:30🔗 Adam You get a million dollars a year, you go out three or four times a game, fasten the goddamn strap. That's right. First thing I bring up in the team meeting. We're on the sideline, go ahead and have it unstrap. But when you hit the field, go ahead and snap that. Yeah, not too tall order. But hockey players, I think it's a bravado thing. They don't want to look like wussies, right, Steve?

13:50🔗 Caller No, I think they get hit in the head too much and their head swells.

13:52🔗 Caller I mean, what's the point of having a tight helmet and your head feels like it's going to pop if you get hit? You know what I'm saying?

13:58🔗 Drew You mean it hurts more when you have a tight helmet?

14:00🔗 Caller I think so.

14:01🔗 Adam No, Steve, you're helping me make my point for better regulations and head gear in hockey, especially on a collegiate level. That's like a rambling madman retarded statement you just made there with the head swollen and it hurts more when...

14:19🔗 Fuel I think we've figured out a problem to his nausea.

14:22🔗 Adam You get whacked in the head with a helmet that's way too big for you and you don't feel it, but if you have one that fits snugly, well, that's pain. Jesus Christ. How come I can never get a decent answer to anything on this, even for guys who do stuff? You know what I mean? That guy probably played hockey for 14 years. He can't give me an answer. Steve? Huh? Okay. All right.

14:45🔗 Drew Anything else going on medically with you?

14:46🔗 Adam Take some Dramamine.

14:47🔗 Drew You want any medication?

14:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:48🔗 Drew What medicine are you taking?

14:49🔗 Caller Depakote.

14:50🔗 Drew So you're bipolar or you have seizure disorder?

14:52🔗 Caller Bipolar, manic depressive.

14:54🔗 Drew Okay. And anything else besides depakote?

14:57🔗 Caller Huh?

14:58🔗 Adam Anything else? Any other medications?

15:00🔗 Caller No, just 500 milligrams twice a day.

15:02🔗 Drew Yeah, that's a pretty standard dose. Yeah, I guess you get your levels checked to see if there's something, because I suppose it could cause nausea.

15:08🔗 Adam Maybe it's hyperventilating a little. You're getting out of breath, Dave?

15:11🔗 Drew If you're not nervous, what is it? It's just all of a sudden...

15:13🔗 Fuel Maybe a bad position.

15:14🔗 Drew Yeah, all of a sudden you have nausea.

15:16🔗 Adam You're doing that wheelbarrow thing? I've done that. Real head rush.

15:19🔗 Drew Have you ever had anything like that?

15:20🔗 Adam You know, the guy grabs your feet and your head's down on the ground, and you can't barely breathe.

15:24🔗 I always throw up an almond in that.

15:25🔗 Adam Hard to hold yourself up. Well, especially when you've had like 14 mytides and your head's down at that angle.

15:32🔗 Like the human rickshaw. Oh, it's nice.

15:34🔗 Adam And the guy leaves his gym socks down there, and you're getting a whiff of that. I mean, it's bad times, real bad times. Or his cat took a leak on that area of the carpet, or here's some bad motel. Some Chinaman threw up there a week before, and they didn't clean it up.

15:50🔗 Fuel Where's that Chinaman thing again?

15:53🔗 Adam Chinaman back again. All right, Steve.

15:56🔗 Caller Ciao.

15:57🔗 Drew Bipolar, had a few head injuries.

15:59🔗 Adam Oh, no kidding.

16:00🔗 Drew Nauseated.

16:01🔗 Adam All right.

16:01🔗 Drew Annoyed me a little bit.

16:02🔗 Adam All right, so what do you, was he in a cat scan?

16:05🔗 Drew I don't think so. Maybe just his depicote level's done.

16:07🔗 Adam All right. Hey, why don't we hear something from Fuel?

16:11🔗 Drew Wanna get a question from them first?

16:13🔗 Adam Oh, okay, why don't we do that? We're gonna talk to Robbie. Robbie?

16:16🔗 Hey, guys.

16:17🔗 Adam 16, what's up?

16:19🔗 I actually have a thingy for all of you guys. A question from each of you for Fuel. I saw you guys with Nickelback at the Fillmore.

16:26🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, right on.

16:27🔗 I enjoyed you guys very much. Oh, next is, okay, Adam Carolla.

16:33🔗 Caller Okay, you're my guy.

16:35🔗 I told all of my friends about this Minka chick. No one believes me, okay? And I got all three of my friends to listen to the show, and I promised them that I'd make you say something about Minka so they'd believe me.

16:49🔗 Adam I have huge breasts and I'm skinny, I'm not fat.

16:51🔗 Drew You haven't done any Minka invitation. The Minka story is something I've told in a while.

16:55🔗 Adam Minka is one of my favorite porn stars because she's Asian and she has these huge, she's a China woman. You don't hear about the China women. What about the China women?

17:08🔗 Drew But you tell us.

17:09🔗 Adam She has huge, huge breasts, huge breasts, and I ran into her at the Olympic Garden in Vegas. Literally? Yeah, well, I started walking by and I flagged her down and she came on by and she recognized me. And so I decided to get like a lap dance from her. But it's not so much a lap dance as it is a working over. Because she takes her knee, which is really, her knee is more like an elbow. Because she's skinny, you know, it's like an elbow on a, on a like a teenage boy, you know. It's like she, yeah, she uses like a pool cue, pool chalk to sharp, you know. And she puts that thing right in your groin. And then basically here's a rap. You know why men like me? Because I am skinny with big boob. I have thick skin. That's why I can have bigger boob. My surgeon tell me I can have a bigger boob because my skin is thick. Most strippers have thick skin, 10 mil thick. Mine 15 thick. And that's what makes me number one Asian boob queen. Number one Asian big boob queen. I don't care about money. You save your money. You keep your money. I'm not in it for money. I got plenty of money. She said that about 700 times. Save your money, keep your money, not in it for money. I want to get on the manager. I had one of these like conversations whether that you know these conversations you have with people that you just you do like you're on lap number three with them like you go you go she goes I know you. You on Man Show. How come you never have me on Man Show? And I go Hey you know what Minka? I was doing a bit and I called. I did. I called your people. I called I actually called Larry Flint and I was trying to track you down. I know. He tell me. Yeah well so I was trying to get you. Yeah you never have me on. I've tried to get you on but no one ever got back to me. And we had to go with someone else. Yeah my I want to come on but my my English no good. So I can't come on but you have me on. I know we tried to get you. Yeah you have me on show. Yeah I know we're looking for it. Yeah why you don't have me on show. Well we're trying to get you for a bit. I did call. Yeah I know. It's like what lap are we on this like we've circled the track like 11 times. We just keep going around and then there's like a pause and then you go. So you have me on soon.

19:34🔗 Yeah.

19:35🔗 Adam Yeah we will. As a matter of fact we want to have you on before. Yeah I know.

19:40🔗 Fuel Just have her jump on her trampoline anyhow.

19:41🔗 My English no good.

19:43🔗 Fuel Yeah why would you need to talk anyhow? Just put her on her trampoline.

19:46🔗 Adam I know what I want to. Bouncy, bouncy. But I do it for fun. I do it for exposure. I don't do it for money. I don't care money. I don't need money. I don't need money. You owe me $50. I swear to Christ. At the end of this whole rap, you owe me $50. I go, Mink, I thought you didn't even. What am I supposed to put my gas tank?

20:07🔗 Caller Compliment?

20:11🔗 Adam Drink coaster and compliment? Man show windbreaker? I gotta survive. And all of a sudden it's like, it's rap number two. It's like, what am I supposed to live off of? A confetti? It's like, now I'm an idiot. Complete 180. It's like, hey, you're right. Yeah, you can't pay your bills with compliments.

20:28🔗 All this time with your knee in your crotch.

20:30🔗 Adam Oh my god. Grinding you up.

20:31🔗 Fuel I don't need money.

20:32🔗 Adam Oh my god.

20:34🔗 Fuel Give me $50.

20:34🔗 Adam Robbie, have you seen her?

20:37🔗 I have actually. I looked her up on the internet and you are not exaggerating one bit. No.

20:42🔗 Adam How big is she? Number one Asian big boob.

20:44🔗 Oh man. Okay.

20:45🔗 Adam I mean, she's crazy.

20:48🔗 Dr. Drew, this is kind of for you. I have this friend in my English class, David and there's this chick who keeps like harassing him, like keeps poking him with a pen in his head. I was just wondering if she's like just messing with him or does she really like him? Because now it's like really getting on his nerves. He's like getting like thrown out in class and stuff.

21:10🔗 Drew I don't know.

21:13🔗 Adam We don't care. I don't know means I don't care.

21:15🔗 Drew I mean, there's no way we can tell. That daughter of Minka probably does like him.

21:19🔗 So do you think he should like him?

21:20🔗 Adam Oh, who cares?

21:21🔗 Drew Howl did howl?

21:22🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? He's got some friend who's got some chick who likes him in biology class and we're supposed to spend a half hour waxing on him. I've got to forget it. We've got to get Minka in here. I swear, Drew, you've seen pictures of Minka, right?

21:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:34🔗 Adam Crazy.

21:34🔗 Drew Number one big boob age.

21:35🔗 Adam Crazy.

21:36🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:36🔗 Adam I mean, novelty, crazy, because crazy, crazy size boobs, but skinny.

21:43🔗 Drew Not fat.

21:43🔗 Adam No ass. I'm not fat. I'm not fat. I'm not fat. You know why men like me? Let me see. You're engaging person. No, wait a minute. Hold on. Scratch that. Huge, huge circus size balloon cans in zero ass because I'm skinny and I have big boob. Big boob or big boob? Big boob. Big boob.

22:06🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:07🔗 Why did they do it? Did they drop the ace?

22:08🔗 Adam I don't know.

22:09🔗 It's a common, like always.

22:11🔗 Drew The real-

22:11🔗 Adam Why you don't have me on the man show? I tried to call you, Mink. I know, but you don't go.

22:15🔗 Drew The real payoff in her story is how she became a porn queen.

22:18🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. This is great. Yeah. This is my favorite part of the evening.

22:23🔗 Adam Another thing where people tell you that non-secretary story and because it's like too late, and the English isn't good enough, you just nod your head. She goes, let's see, she's from Korea. I'm Korean, I come here to play professional tennis. My coach tell me, you should get into porn.

22:45🔗 Fuel Spank her with a tennis racket.

22:46🔗 Adam So it's like, you must be one hell of a tennis player. You should get into porn. What coach, what kind of coach is that? He probably does a youth soccer on the weekend.

22:59🔗 Short skirts, you know, he's a little good.

23:01🔗 Adam Now a lot of you girls aren't going to be able to get into porn if you don't make practice on Monday. It's heavy working hard, running those laps. You should get into, that's a great coach. Yeah, and it's like, I didn't have time.

23:12🔗 Fuel Just give up and go into porn.

23:13🔗 Adam I didn't have time to pursue it. Like, first off, how does your Korean tennis coach know about, you know, how does he have inroads or porn connections? And why is he getting you into porn? And couldn't he have just had you, you know, join some circuit or coach kids or something? Had to get into porn and you just really come over here to play professional tennis? And I got to look at all these things. I don't know if I'll ever get a straight answer out of her.

23:36🔗 Drew We got her up here. Be interesting.

23:37🔗 Adam I'd like to talk. I'd like to get Minka on the show or her tennis coach. Anderson, you got to find a picture of Minka so the guys can see this. Fuel's here. Song. You want to hear a song? Yeah. When we come back? Yeah? Not now? Okay.

23:53🔗 Drew We'll take a little break.

23:54🔗 Adam We'll be back. We just kind of shot our way during the commercial there.

24:34🔗 Drew We seriously need to run tape during our commercials. And then we need to produce the Loveline outtakes. Best of commercials. Yeah, best of commercials.

24:41🔗 Adam Behind the scenes.

24:41🔗 Drew And then we can go home.

24:42🔗 Adam We can run a week of shows just on that. Carl and Brett, yeah, it's definitely the best part of the show.

24:46🔗 Drew They're the best of the best. They're the best of the best.

24:47🔗 Adam They're the best of the best. They're the best of the best. They're the best of the best. Carl and Brett are here tonight from Fuel. Something Like Humans, the name of the CD. We were going to hear a song, and I think we still should. What do you say there, Drew? Going to be at the Whiskey. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? We figure it out?

25:03🔗 Fuel Yeah.

25:04🔗 Adam Is that tomorrow? Yeah.

25:06🔗 Fuel Coming up on Saturday.

25:07🔗 Adam At the House of Blues, which we decided is not in the basement of some building.

25:13🔗 Fuel Right.

25:13🔗 Adam And I'll figure that out. Drew, tell me during the song, because like I said, I got going on Minka. All right. This one is called Hammeridge. There's a fabulous Fuel off of Something Like Human, and we got some pictures of Minka, who's Something Like Human herself. All right. Fuel is going to be at the Whiskey tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday on Sunset Strip. Still time to get tickets to some of the shows, or maybe all of them. I'm not sure. Don't take any chances, though. You got to get on it. Tonight, right after the show, go down to the box office. Do they still have box offices, Drew? Does that exist, or is everything just over the internet? All right, we have some lovely pictures of Minka here, the band is enjoying.

29:50🔗 Some strange stuff here.

29:51🔗 Adam James?

29:52🔗 I think some Photoshop has been on this.

29:54🔗 Adam Well, just maybe on the nipple part, but not on the boob. I guarantee you that. How dare you?

30:00🔗 Oh, yeah, I'm talking about the nipple part. That's what I'm saying.

30:02🔗 Adam That's fine. James, you're 23.

30:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:05🔗 Adam What's up?

30:06🔗 Caller How's it going?

30:06🔗 Adam Good.

30:07🔗 Caller I used to live in Dr. Drew.

30:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:09🔗 Caller Adam?

30:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:12🔗 Caller I used to live up in Toronto, and there was a woman up there that had a show. I believe her name was like a Dr. Laura Schlellinger. Well, anyway, she mentioned something like a man cover or a man slip, and this was, it had to do with guys who were circumcised and have lost sensitivity because of rubbish or other means of losing sensitivity.

30:39🔗 Caller Right.

30:40🔗 Caller And the slip was like a silk cover, and it was supposed to act as a foreskin, and you'd get your sensitivity back.

30:48🔗 Drew Well, what is your problem, James?

30:51🔗 Caller What's my problem?

30:51🔗 Drew Yeah. Do you have a problem with sensitivity?

30:55🔗 Adam Where did your sensitivity go?

30:58🔗 Drew What is the problem?

30:58🔗 Adam Long time passing.

31:00🔗 Caller Well, I know.

31:01🔗 Adam Oh, you idiot. What do you do, you idiot? What do you do for a living?

31:05🔗 Caller Adam, I work at a banquet.

31:09🔗 Drew Banquet?

31:10🔗 Adam You work at a banquet? At a Jewish bank? What is that?

31:13🔗 Caller At a nice resort.

31:15🔗 Adam I see. Where?

31:16🔗 Caller I'm in junior college.

31:18🔗 Adam Really?

31:19🔗 Caller There you go.

31:19🔗 Adam Hold on. Do they have a junior, junior college, like a one year college where you don't get an AA degree, just get an A?

31:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:27🔗 Adam You get an A?

31:28🔗 Caller Adam, you talk about the up and down and you're done. For me, up and down, up and down for a long time.

31:35🔗 Drew Yeah, that has nothing to do with sensitivity. Are you on a medication?

31:37🔗 Adam Oh, who cares?

31:38🔗 Drew I'm just asking.

31:39🔗 Adam Oh, I'm done with the idiots tonight. How dare you with the up down and I'm done? I don't have that problem at all.

31:45🔗 Drew If you wish it.

31:46🔗 Adam If I wish it, yes. My penis and I are on the same page. I have full control over my penis. As a matter of fact, it's home studying film right now. It's Monday's film day and then Tuesday's light practice, Wednesday's full contact, and Thursday's full contact, and Friday's a light scrimmage. It's just shoulder pads and helmets, and then, you know, the game's Sunday morning for the penis. Nick?

32:12🔗 Yeah.

32:12🔗 Adam You're 16.

32:13🔗 Caller Yeah. First time call a long time listener.

32:16🔗 Adam Great.

32:17🔗 Caller Adam, I think you're hilarious.

32:19🔗 Adam Oh, thanks.

32:20🔗 Caller I watch the man show all the time.

32:22🔗 Adam Fantastic.

32:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:23🔗 Drew 16.

32:24🔗 Caller Dr. Drew. Yeah. I knew the call on Sunday night. You had a girl who had ulcerative colitis.

32:30🔗 Drew Right.

32:31🔗 Caller I also have ulcerative colitis.

32:33🔗 Drew Common problem.

32:34🔗 Caller Basically, the problem is that unlike most people that can take sulfur-based medications, You're allergic. Very highly. Yeah.

32:42🔗 Drew So you take steroids.

32:44🔗 Caller Yes, unfortunately.

32:45🔗 Adam What is this sulfur? First off, sulfur smells like-

32:47🔗 Drew Sulfa.

32:48🔗 Adam Sulfa? Oh, it's not sulfur? What's sulfa?

32:52🔗 Drew It's a compound.

32:55🔗 Adam You don't know. It's a compound.

32:57🔗 Drew Let me write that down.

32:59🔗 Adam You don't know. You're no chemist. Maybe not even a doctor. Nick?

33:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:04🔗 Adam What is sulfa?

33:06🔗 Caller It's just a chemical that-

33:07🔗 Drew It's a chemical in antibiotics.

33:10🔗 Caller And the medication that makes me very allergic.

33:13🔗 Drew It's one of the more common allergens like penicillin.

33:16🔗 Adam And what is- Is this close to irritable bowel, this situation?

33:20🔗 Drew No.

33:21🔗 Adam Not at all.

33:21🔗 Drew Not at all.

33:22🔗 Adam Doesn't present itself that way?

33:24🔗 Drew Yeah, but irritable bowel is a totally benign part- No. This presents with blood in the stool and massive diarrhea. This is inflammatory bowel disease.

33:30🔗 Caller Yeah, and I was diagnosed with this at nine years old, actually.

33:32🔗 Yeah, it was tough.

33:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:34🔗 Drew And so you've been on steroids all that time?

33:36🔗 Caller Pretty much since 10, yeah. And my doctor says I'm the youngest case I've ever seen of it.

33:41🔗 Drew Well, so you're seeing a gastroenterologist?

33:44🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

33:44🔗 Drew Okay, so you have to worry about cataracts? You have to worry about your stature, whether or not it might accelerate the closure of the bone plates?

33:51🔗 Caller Yeah, because I have a twin brother, and he's actually a little bit taller than me.

33:55🔗 Drew Right. You worry about diabetes, weight, and muscle mass?

33:59🔗 Caller Yeah, and actually I was on the freshman football team, and I could actually only bench press about 100 pounds because of it.

34:05🔗 Drew And then bone density is the other thing, where they have thinning of the bones.

34:07🔗 Caller I take iron pills because of it.

34:08🔗 Drew Well, calcium, I hope, is right.

34:10🔗 Adam He's on the roids, he's on the juice.

34:12🔗 Drew Corticosteroids, not androgenic, anabolic steroids.

34:15🔗 Adam You gotta get on the androgen.

34:16🔗 Drew Well, there might be actually a reason for that, but at this point, that's the other thing, that will close your bone plates. You will be a short stature with that.

34:24🔗 Adam Yeah, but you're wide as a jukebox. That's great. Hey, Nick, all right, so what can we answer for Nick?

34:31🔗 Caller I was wondering about, I heard somewhere that by taking prednisone or something like that, it might actually later on in life cause impotency or some other effects.

34:42🔗 Drew Only if you get diabetes from the prednisone, I would say.

34:45🔗 Caller Only if I get it.

34:45🔗 Drew Yeah, and I could see how it could affect some of your testosterone levels and sort of affect your overall gonadal function, but not dramatically, not in a way that couldn't be reversed anyway.

34:55🔗 Adam Let's talk about number two for a moment here, Drew.

34:58🔗 Drew Why not? It's been 35 minutes without it, but come on.

35:01🔗 Adam How dare you? It's been since last Thursday that I spent a half hour on this topic, but I'm in and out on the pot. You know what I'm saying?

35:09🔗 Drew Three times a day?

35:11🔗 Adam Two, three times a day. My ass is on the seat like it's a hot plate. Every minute, pow, down, pow, back up again.

35:18🔗 Fuel When you wipe, do you stand up or do you do the lean?

35:20🔗 Adam No, I do the lean and I try to do the cheek grab and spread on the seat, not with my hands. See if you can get a cheek hooked on to one side and then inch a little the other side. You can't get a little cheek width there. See if you can't open the canyon just a little bit. See if you can get the barge, get that toilet paper barge down the canyon, the canal. But I feel pretty healthy about that. I know some guys, it's a ritual. They're my other partner, Jimmy.

35:50🔗 Drew He honkers down for a session.

35:52🔗 Fuel It's like, do you have to be reading?

35:55🔗 I know some guys have to read.

35:57🔗 Fuel They have to read. They cannot do it unless they have a magazine.

36:00🔗 They'll almost mess themselves before they're trying to look for something to read. You know what I mean? They'll run around.

36:04🔗 Drew It's such a waste of time otherwise.

36:06🔗 Adam Well, the thing about it is-

36:07🔗 Drew They'll read a dictionary.

36:08🔗 Adam But here's the thing. If you bring, like my partner Jimmy Kimmel, he'll bring a couple of magazines, you know, a Watchman television, and like a sack of Carmel corn in there, and some Gatorade. I mean, he's honker down. I mean, you know-

36:27🔗 Caller The guys I'm talking about, they have to write Read and-

36:29🔗 Adam Right, right. To me, that means you're gonna spend more time there.

36:35🔗 Caller It's a quality time, I guess they're thinking.

36:36🔗 Fuel Don't your legs go numb and you can't get up?

36:38🔗 Adam I don't understand it. Like, I'm in and out of there, but I was over at Jimmy's house last night. It was late, it was like 2.30 in the morning. He's like, well, I'm gonna crap now, so I guess about it. And I was like, yeah, we'll go take a dump. And he's like, no, this is it. I mean, this is a big one. It's gonna be a while. I was like, cool. He goes, I'm heading upstairs for this one. He has a downstairs bathroom, but this is an upstairs crap. I didn't know. That's how he judged it. You know, that's sort of the Richter scale of Jimmy's ass. If he's heading upstairs, it's a 8.0. So, it's like, all right, well, I guess I'll be going home.

37:12🔗 Fuel Like the truck driver's seat is cushioning.

37:15🔗 Adam Like, that's it. Drew, you don't do that, do you? I read. You read? So, you're down for a while.

37:20🔗 Drew No, I just, no wasted time for me. Hey, here's the, I got the compound for your sulfa. C6H8N2O2S. Aren't you glad you've...

37:29🔗 Adam C6N, that's the sulfa.

37:31🔗 Drew C6H8.

37:32🔗 Adam H8.

37:33🔗 Drew N2.

37:34🔗 Adam N2O2. O2S. Okay, that's what I thought. That's what I thought it was. It didn't come to mind, but now that I hear it, I recognize the sulfa compound. We're going to take ourselves a little break, fuel this here. When we come back, Drew, who are we going to speak to? Kim? Having sex with two guys that are cousins. One's 20 and the other 17.

37:56🔗 Drew She's 15.

37:57🔗 Adam Oh, boy. After this.

38:01🔗 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

38:03🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-1.

38:07🔗 We'll be right back.

38:40🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew. I know. Listen, don't put that puss on, Anderson. I know you're a student of radio and you enjoy good radio, and you're not going to find that here.

38:51🔗 Drew Have you learned that by now?

38:52🔗 Adam Yes. Stop trying. He's constantly disappointed. Carl and Brett are both here from Fuel, Something Like Human is the name of the CD at the Whiskey, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, out here in Fabulous, Los Angeles, and then San Bernardino, Las Vegas, Boston, and New York after that. We were talking during the break about hours, and Carl was telling me about his dad going to bed at nine o'clock at night and getting up at five in the morning. My dad does the same thing, and I'm convinced it keeps getting earlier and earlier.

39:30🔗 Drew It's a bit older, yeah.

39:32🔗 Adam I think with my dad, if he lives long enough, it's gonna come around.

39:36🔗 Drew That's what happens, you get what's called sleep-wake-reversal.

39:39🔗 Adam You go to bed at five in the morning, get up at nine at night.

39:41🔗 Drew You get sleep-wake-reversal.

39:42🔗 Caller This is what I had to look forward to.

39:44🔗 Adam Yeah, my dad's gonna start going to bed at 2.30 in the afternoon and getting up at midnight.

39:51🔗 Caller See, my dad will get up, and then he has to go, and he'll sleep, he'll get up, he just makes a transition out of the bed, into the chair, and then falls back asleep, and he sleeps all day there in the chair.

40:00🔗 Fuel They always totally forget that everyone else is still trying to sleep, so they've got to make as much noise as possible.

40:05🔗 Adam Well, my dad's thing is too, is his deal is he gets up at like 5.45 in the morning, right? So he's not going to call me at 5.45, he'll give it an hour.

40:16🔗 Drew 6.30, yeah.

40:17🔗 Adam Yeah, now it's 6.45. I go to bed at 3.00.

40:20🔗 Fuel It's the middle of the day.

40:21🔗 Adam So I ate breakfast, I read the paper, I took a walk.

40:25🔗 Caller Right, he feels good.

40:25🔗 Adam Now I'm calling him. You understand?

40:27🔗 Caller You've got a little buffer zone there.

40:29🔗 Adam It's funny too, my dad wants to eat lunch at 10.15. You know, because we've been up since 4.00. So it's like, I go to bed at 3.00, I get up at 10.30, you know, so I'm like, here you go, you want to get together for lunch? I'm like, yeah, yeah, I want you to meet me about 1.30. Oh, that's dinner. That's dessert, that's a late snack. You know, 1.30, since Slippers in a bathroom, he heads to the fridge. He can't sleep, it gets him more milk. Oh, Jesus Christ, is that what I'm going to be like, Drew? Kill me if that's the way.

41:03🔗 Drew You're going to be so much worse.

41:04🔗 Adam Please kill me.

41:05🔗 Drew You are going to be wearing shoe boxes on your, you know, Kleenex boxes on your feet.

41:09🔗 Adam I will not go to bed at 8 and get up at 4 in the morning and then start calling people.

41:13🔗 Drew Kim, 15.

41:14🔗 Adam Kim?

41:15🔗 Hi.

41:16🔗 Adam What's up?

41:17🔗 I'm listening to you guys all the time. I think you guys are great. Thanks. But, I got myself in a bad situation with two guys. As you know, they were cousins. And I was sort of like not official, but seeing the younger one first.

41:36🔗 Drew They're not your cousins. They're cousins of one another.

41:38🔗 Yeah, of one another.

41:40🔗 Drew And how old are they?

41:42🔗 17 is the younger one.

41:44🔗 Adam And the older one is?

41:46🔗 20.

41:47🔗 Drew A little out of range to a 20 year old and you're 15?

41:50🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

41:51🔗 Drew Again, it's not about you. It's about the loser 20 year old that would go, that would. And when you're 20, you will look at guys that would think about dating 15 year old with great horror.

42:01🔗 Adam Well, you're 20, your younger cousins got this hot 10th grade piece of ass going to be in the 10th grade next semester. So you're getting out. You're hitting some of that. That's wonderful. What's the 20 year old guy do?

42:17🔗 Caller I don't know.

42:18🔗 Adam He just you don't know?

42:20🔗 Caller He works. He works in at a hotel, I think. He's like a manager.

42:28🔗 Adam I see hotels like a big house where a lot of people stay, don't know each other.

42:33🔗 Caller I guess. I don't know.

42:36🔗 Adam Okay. Are you on Quaaludes? Are you depressed or what's up?

42:40🔗 Caller No, no. I mean, I had a pretty good life. My I'm from a really strict background, though.

42:50🔗 Drew Strict meaning they beat the crap out of you once or twice?

42:53🔗 Caller No, no, no, no, no, not.

42:56🔗 Adam You love your parents? You love your dad?

42:58🔗 Caller Actually, me and my dad were really close younger, but we're a little bit distant now.

43:04🔗 Drew What do you mean not? What is that sort of qualifier? No, not really beat up. But what actually did happen to you?

43:10🔗 Caller Well, I mean, verbally sort of, because my dad is from like a Christian background. Yeah, he's like a, you know, from Christian and I was raised in church. And I sort of fell away from that.

43:26🔗 Drew And, and they freaked.

43:29🔗 Caller Yeah. He, he has tried to put me on a tight hold, but I'm a pretty independent person.

43:34🔗 Adam Yeah. No, yeah, sure. Hey, dad, try to shove the Bible up the tocus. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll bang a couple of cousin guys. Touché.

43:44🔗 Drew Old guys.

43:45🔗 Adam Yes. Great. To see what happens, dads. Women. I'll tell you, you take your little girl, you don't pay attention to them. And you just try to sort of you mishandle them. You mishandle, I mean, you sort of try to beat morality into them and that's how dare... Minka comes from a model Korean home. How dare you hold her up as an example of abuse.

44:06🔗 Caller She just had a bad coach.

44:07🔗 Adam Tough, tough. Is there tennis coach? No backhand and a bad coach equals porn. Hey Kim?

44:12🔗 Caller Yes.

44:13🔗 Adam Okay. So you hate your dad, you're doing some acting out. How about you just stop?

44:17🔗 Caller No, no, I don't hate my dad.

44:19🔗 Adam Well, you're not a big fan of his.

44:21🔗 Drew You're distant.

44:21🔗 Caller Right now.

44:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

44:22🔗 Adam Well, whatever.

44:24🔗 Drew That's the exact opposite we normally get. Right now we're great, but you know.

44:27🔗 Adam Right. You don't like him now? All right. Well, stop paying him back through having sex with a bunch of guys.

44:34🔗 Drew Yeah, a bunch of idiots.

44:35🔗 Adam Can you do that? How about just have sex with the one younger idiot?

44:38🔗 Caller The one younger idiot?

44:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Does he know about his older cousin?

44:42🔗 Caller No, the older cousin, like, I was with the younger one at dance and then the older cousin, like, sort of pulled me out of the room. Like, not like forcefully. I sort of followed him.

44:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:55🔗 Caller And he knew and then he's like, and then one thing led to another.

44:59🔗 Adam Okay, does he?

45:00🔗 Drew Wait a minute, wait a minute, no.

45:02🔗 Adam Hey, what is it? Tard night? Does the younger guy know or not?

45:06🔗 Caller No.

45:06🔗 Drew Yeah, but there's more to Kim than she's telling us.

45:08🔗 Adam What's wrong with you? Are you horribly depressed?

45:11🔗 Caller Oh, no, no.

45:13🔗 Adam Okay, why don't you get it together? Perk up a little. You're on the goddamn radio.

45:17🔗 Drew What is it?

45:17🔗 Adam Someone's trying to smother you with an ether rat.

45:19🔗 Drew But what is it? She's just had-

45:20🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

45:21🔗 Drew But listen to the story.

45:22🔗 Adam Well, I'm mad that she's not depressed.

45:23🔗 Drew Yeah, but I didn't think you heard the story. It's like, he's just had sex at a dance with a-

45:26🔗 Adam She didn't have sex.

45:27🔗 Drew With a 17-year-old. Some old guy walks through him and goes, hey, come on with me, check it out. Starts having sex with him.

45:32🔗 Adam Yeah, but she didn't say she had sex with the 17-year-old at the dance.

45:36🔗 Caller No, that was at my house when I was answered on.

45:39🔗 Adam You had sex with the 17-year-old at your house. Right.

45:42🔗 Drew And this other guy came in?

45:44🔗 Caller No.

45:45🔗 Drew Now, when did the other guy show up?

45:47🔗 Caller Another time when my friends were home.

45:49🔗 Adam Okay, at the dance.

45:51🔗 Caller No, I didn't have sex with him at the dance.

45:53🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right. That's, I know, Drew, you're just dumber than our caller, sorry. All right, Kim, how about you cut off the older guy and please, would you use some protection so you don't get pregnant?

46:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I've had chances with that with the older guy.

46:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:08🔗 Adam Okay. I don't know. Is that an answer? Can you use, are you on birth control or anything?

46:13🔗 Drew No more.

46:13🔗 Caller No.

46:14🔗 Adam But listen, screwball, you're going to get pregnant.

46:16🔗 Caller Okay.

46:17🔗 Drew Or you may already be.

46:18🔗 Caller No, I'm not.

46:19🔗 Adam I know, but you're going to, and then you're going to make the second world's worst mom. My mom, that's a take for the ground for number one. Okay, could you not do that?

46:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:28🔗 Adam All right, don't get pregnant. Finish school and stop rebelling against your dad.

46:34🔗 Caller Okay.

46:34🔗 Adam There you go. Fantastic. I swear to God, these guys who mistreat their daughters, it's like, it comes back, it's 100 percent. They end up, here's what I'm saying. What is every man's nightmare? I mean, as you sit here, I don't know if you guys have kids, I don't know if you have daughters. I know Drew has a daughter. Your number one nightmare as a dad for your daughter, and maybe it's a double standard, and maybe it's a man at his worst, but it's to have your daughter get into these kinds of situations. You don't want her to become the school slut. You don't want her to get passed around by guys. You don't want her to be a porn star, titty dancer, whatever. I mean, this is number one, right?

47:18🔗 Fuel No guy's ever too good for your daughter too.

47:20🔗 Adam Right. You certainly don't want, I mean, number one nightmare for a dad if you have an infant daughter is that she hooks up with some biker guy, who's him and his buddies are banging her and smacking her around and drinking and filming it, right? It's a number one, right? You will ensure that road, if you beat on your daughter, if you abuse your daughter, if you abandon your daughter, your world's biggest nightmare will come true. Believe me, you'll get to watch porn movies with her in it, 15 years down the road or all, at least your buddies at work at the shop will be, please, don't hold Mink up when I'm talking about this. She is from Korea, it's a whole different culture. It's accepted over there, it's considered a way of life. She's hailed as a conquering hero when she goes back to her native Korea.

48:09🔗 Fuel Look at those nipples, it's like a basketball on a basketball.

48:11🔗 Adam Sorry, leave my Mink alone. All right, so be good to your daughters, you screwballs. You want to abuse your sons, that's fine. We'll take a break. Fuel's here, we'll be back after this.

48:22🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

49:05🔗 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, Carl and Brett O'Browth here from Fuel. What are you touching there, Drew, my scratch pad?

49:12🔗 Drew I want to get a piece of paper.

49:14🔗 Adam There you go. Who's, vertical horizons in Tomorrow Night, and then David Allen Grier on Wednesday night. That's him, he's good. Yeah. He's a real talent. Went to a, what do you want, a Juilliard or something for that? Really?

49:36🔗 Fuel Tell us how you really feel.

49:38🔗 Adam I love David Allen Grier, but he's screwed up. I've decided.

49:44🔗 Adam I'll tell him on Wednesday, I don't think I will. And listen, that's fine if he comes in, that's a night off for me. Just let him yapp all night. Drew, what are you doing?

49:54🔗 Drew When?

49:55🔗 Adam Right now.

49:55🔗 Drew Just making a note to myself.

49:56🔗 Adam Fantastic. Want to get involved with the show?

49:58🔗 Drew I'm waiting for you to finish your yappin.

49:59🔗 Adam More of your job.

50:02🔗 Caller Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

50:04🔗 Adam Alrighty, so we will hear something else from Fuel in a few minutes, and we'll say hi to Ken and tell him. Ken is 16. Ken?

50:13🔗 Caller Hello?

50:13🔗 Adam Hey.

50:15🔗 Caller Okay, I've kind of got a little bit of a problem here. My parents kind of found, like, a gay porn on my mail.

50:23🔗 Drew You're gay?

50:24🔗 Caller Well, bye.

50:26🔗 Adam Bye. Bye is gay with a publicist. You'll be gay soon.

50:30🔗 Drew Bye-bye.

50:30🔗 Adam Yes, you're saying bye-bye to heterosexuality. So long, vagina.

50:35🔗 Fuel Bye-bye. There's no middle ground at all.

50:36🔗 Adam Hello, penis.

50:37🔗 Fuel He's bisexual.

50:40🔗 Caller Anyways, like, they've been, like, okay, they kind of, like, mentioned that, like, how they found it and stuff like that.

50:46🔗 Drew How do they find it? How do they find it?

50:49🔗 Caller They search my mail.

50:50🔗 Drew Oh, that's... Just in passing, they mentioned that we happened to have broken into your mail. That's ridiculous. Yeah.

50:57🔗 Caller Anyways, like...

50:59🔗 Adam What were some of these pictures? Give us one specific one. This is going to be good.

51:03🔗 Caller You really want to know?

51:04🔗 Adam Yeah, I really want to know.

51:05🔗 Drew The one that bothered you the most?

51:06🔗 Caller It's just a bunch of nude guys, that's it.

51:08🔗 Adam Most graphic. Nude guys sitting on hay bales, that kind of stuff?

51:12🔗 Caller It's just, like, one picture of nude guys.

51:15🔗 Adam Yeah. Where are they? They doing stuff? They wearing outfits?

51:19🔗 Caller No.

51:20🔗 Adam Really?

51:21🔗 Fuel Penetrating?

51:22🔗 Adam I had this calendar someone gave me when I was like, it was like 19th, it's called Colt Roundup. It was great.

51:29🔗 Fuel This was a gay calendar?

51:30🔗 Adam Yeah, a gay calendar. Nude guys. And they're all like, you know, it was sort of like, well, I'm working construction, but my shorts are round, my ankles, you know, but I would be working construction if my pants weren't around, my ankles. Yeah, during lunch, sometimes like I work construction for a lot of years. I know a lot of guys like to drop their pants during lunch and continue working, you know, hauling, hauling a girdle or something, wearing the tool bags, but with, you know, with the dork hanging out.

51:58🔗 Fuel Makes their jobs more entertaining.

52:00🔗 Adam Need to see the guy in action. But it was always crack me up about this Colt roundup calendar. I had all the guys' names like Toby and like the leather fag and the construction guy and the cowboy. It was like, really, you think village people is a joke. And by the way, how come when the village people is at its height, I was like 13, 14, and nobody told me they were gay.

52:22🔗 Drew Yeah, me neither.

52:23🔗 Adam No, never heard it.

52:24🔗 Drew No.

52:24🔗 Adam And Drew, you were what, 19 when the village people were there?

52:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

52:28🔗 Adam No one, no one.

52:30🔗 Drew Not mentioned.

52:30🔗 Adam Hey, where was everyone's older brother? You know what I mean? Shouldn't they have been tipping us off? Yeah. I mean, why? Think about the village people. I mean, I don't know how old you guys are, probably younger than us, but village people read their prime in 78. I don't know, 78, 79, something like that. And Drew, you were 18, 19, I was 13, 14 or something. And it was everyone was talking about the village people and they were playing them on the radio. Not one word about being gay.

53:00🔗 Fuel And everybody, like all the parents and stuff were like, oh, it's such a great song for our kids.

53:05🔗 Adam It's a beat and music.

53:05🔗 Fuel When they didn't know, it was like, yeah, where were we?

53:07🔗 Adam Were we that?

53:08🔗 Fuel I agree.

53:08🔗 Caller I never thought about it.

53:09🔗 Adam That's so very true. Were we that unsophisticated? In the late 70s, that we didn't know who the gays were?

53:16🔗 Caller The black cat with the mustache. I mean, that was a dead giveaway.

53:18🔗 Adam Oh, one guy was just a gay biker. One guy wasn't even anything. His profession was homo. There was like cowboy, construction worker, cop, homo, Indian. Oh, that Indian guy. Holy Christ.

53:30🔗 Drew But it's a gay song.

53:32🔗 Adam The whole thing is this thing about the Navy and the YMCA. Here's all I'm saying. I remember I was like in the eighth, ninth grade or something and I probably, I didn't have enough gay savvy at the time. I would have been all over it now. But I didn't have enough. But here's who I blame. I blame the older brothers of the world. Yeah. You know that 17, 18-year-old guy named Kurt, who would always beat the crap out of you and your friends. Why didn't he come down and go, Hey, those guys are homos. You know, where was he? Where were you, Drew? You were 19. How come you didn't catch on to that? All right. Please wash my hands with you. What were we talking about?

54:12🔗 Drew Taking calls.

54:13🔗 Adam Oh yeah. Call.

54:14🔗 Drew Go to Brea.

54:15🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. Weren't we talking to someone?

54:16🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

54:18🔗 Adam All right. Anyway, here's my favorite thing about this cult roundup calendar. The thing that amused me the most about this is all these nude dudes with these. Now, they don't get the full erection. They get kind of the semi erection. So it's got a little hang and it's kind of like, yeah, this is the way it normally is, but it's not. It's sort of juiced up. Yeah, it's kind of like what you're like by the pool when there's chicks around, which is you're not doing a pose down, but you got it sucked up just a little bit. This is how I am. You did a few push ups in the dressing room or something. This is what I look like. That's what they do with their penis. They pump it up. They do like a couple of push ups to the penis. And then they get filmed. But there was one guy, his name was Clay, right? One guy's name was Clay. He just had a head shot in there. He had like puka shells and a Hawaiian shirt. And he was kind of had his eyebrow lifted up his hair back. And I thought, Jesus, Clay thinks he's real hot stuff. I remember thinking, he don't even have to show his penis. He is so hot, I'm going to jack off to just his head shot. I'd like to get Clay's manager. I'd like to use Clay's manager. He's doing a gay porn calendar with just his head shot. He's that hot, everybody. That's hot.

55:30🔗 Fuel He doesn't need to show his dick.

55:31🔗 Caller Maybe the construction work in there, he got a little accident or something, like too close to the nail gun.

55:36🔗 Adam Yeah, right. Maybe I had no torso.

55:38🔗 Drew No, no, not too.

55:40🔗 Adam Ken, yeah.

55:41🔗 Drew So Ken, you have a question.

55:42🔗 Caller Well, what my question was, well, I don't really know what to do. Should I confront my parents or what?

55:47🔗 Drew Well, what are you going to confront them about for having looked into your mail?

55:49🔗 Caller Well, not only that, but like them finding out that I'm bisexual.

55:53🔗 Drew Well, listen, we have lots of callers that want to announce that to their parents. Well, your parents have an idea something's going on and that's fine. Well, if they want to talk to you about it, fine. If you want to talk to them about it, fine. But I think the bigger issue here is that they're sort of violating your privacy.

56:07🔗 Caller Well, who's computer?

56:08🔗 Fuel Does everyone else know about it, your friends and all that?

56:11🔗 Caller Well, nobody knows about it.

56:12🔗 Adam All right. Here's the deal, Ken.

56:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:15🔗 Adam There's a lot of weird stuff on a lot of people's computers.

56:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:19🔗 Adam Doesn't mean that's what they're into. You know what I'm saying?

56:23🔗 Drew You guys have massive levels of denial anyway.

56:25🔗 Adam Huge levels of denial. Huge. Okay. So here's what I'm saying, Ken.

56:31🔗 Drew You let it ride if you want.

56:32🔗 Adam Yeah. I would just go like, my buddies emailed me that stuff as a goof. What are you going to do? Or, hey, what the hell? I'm curious. I'm looking around. That doesn't mean I'm gay.

56:44🔗 Drew Okay. Well, but then there's nothing wrong with-

56:46🔗 Adam Tell them Adam has a cult roundup calendar. What do you mean? He's blowing guys.

56:50🔗 Drew No, there's nothing wrong with them knowing who you are if you're ready to deal with that. But I'm a little concerned about you tackling that whole issue now before you have a group of supportive friends who also know what you're about and who've been through things like this. So I would think Lay Low is probably the best advice right now.

57:07🔗 Adam Anyone molest you?

57:08🔗 Caller No.

57:09🔗 Adam Really?

57:10🔗 Caller Well, I was almost molested, but I wasn't.

57:13🔗 Drew What does almost mean?

57:14🔗 Caller Like, okay, I was camping and I went to the bathroom and some other guy like went up to the urinal next to me and he stepped back and started beating off in front of me and I'm just like, what the heck is this guy doing? He's crazy and he kind of like chased me around the park for a while. I went and got my parents, but that's not it.

57:32🔗 Drew Chased you around the park?

57:33🔗 Caller Yeah, well, it was a kind of...

57:36🔗 Adam Was he masturbating while he was chasing you?

57:39🔗 Caller No.

57:41🔗 Adam One of those railroad cars you pumped by hand? No, he actually moved faster. Faster you checked, faster your legs moved.

57:51🔗 Caller No, he just took up his pants and started following me around.

57:56🔗 Adam That didn't do it. You're fine. By the way, speaking of humor, I don't see any more. I like to see a little more pump cart humor. The guy's pumping the thing into the tunnel and then pumping extremely fast on the other way as the train comes barreling down the thing. Just more railroad humor in general.

58:13🔗 Caller That is still fertile.

58:16🔗 Adam Yeah, Camp Town Lady pumping that pump cart there.

58:18🔗 Drew We just lost three. The girl's been trying to get through three nights in a row.

58:22🔗 Adam Well, why'd she hang up? Who knows? Okay, listen, let's go to six. I see the word balls on there. Tricia?

58:29🔗 Caller Hello?

58:30🔗 Adam And let me tell you, I see a boob or boob job or double D or balls and I just look up, if I just spot that one word, I'll punch it. You understand?

58:40🔗 Drew All right, Tricia, what's up?

58:41🔗 Caller Okay, my boyfriend, he only has one nut and he was born with two, but he doesn't know what happened to the other one.

58:50🔗 Caller And it might be from, I don't know, working out, taking too much creatine. He has no idea.

58:54🔗 Drew No. No? So if he looks on the sack on the other side, he can't find anything.

59:01🔗 Caller No, he only has one.

59:02🔗 Drew And has he seen the doctor about this?

59:04🔗 Caller No, I've tried talking to him about it, but he's like too embarrassed.

59:07🔗 Adam Well, he doesn't need a doctor.

59:09🔗 Fuel Like it just disintegrated or something?

59:10🔗 Adam No, he needs a private detective. To track that nut down.

59:13🔗 Caller He was born with two, now he's got one.

59:16🔗 Adam He's missing a nut.

59:17🔗 Drew You have to wonder if perhaps one just didn't descend. And the problem there is that one that's stuck up inside can become cancerous.

59:24🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. He had to.

59:26🔗 Drew But maybe he didn't know.

59:27🔗 Adam No, no, no. He had to. One could have ascended, not descended. You know what I'm saying?

59:32🔗 Drew Yeah, they don't really go back up.

59:34🔗 Adam They can't have it.

59:36🔗 Drew Never heard of that. I never say never, but I've never heard of that. But be that as it may. Maybe it's possible. But be that as it may, he needs to get checked out, because if there is one up inside the inguinal canal, they can become cancerous.

59:50🔗 Caller Tricia?

59:52🔗 Adam Is he like a big work out guy?

59:54🔗 Caller Well, he's trying to be.

59:56🔗 Caller He started working out at age 15. And he's been working out a lot, going to the gym and stuff, and taking muscle supplements.

1:00:03🔗 Drew Does he do steroids?

1:00:05🔗 Caller No.

1:00:05🔗 Drew You sure?

1:00:05🔗 Caller Well, he's tried it, but this happened way before.

1:00:08🔗 Drew Well, I don't know why he may try it. What did he try?

1:00:10🔗 Caller Well, he tried steroids, but this was a couple of months ago.

1:00:13🔗 Drew Steroids can definitely make the testy shrink down.

1:00:15🔗 Caller But he's had like, I've noticed it since like, he's had this for a while.

1:00:19🔗 Drew And people that try steroids don't just try. They keep going.

1:00:24🔗 Caller Well, I know he hasn't, because he can't afford it.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Okay, that's good.

1:00:28🔗 Fuel But creatine and things like that.

1:00:29🔗 Adam As soon as he gets that raise, he's back on the juice. Hi, Trisha. You training for some competition or something?

1:00:36🔗 Caller No, he just, he wants to be big, because he wants to be a professional wrestler.

1:00:39🔗 Adam Okay, great. You got hooked up with a genius. Fantastic.

1:00:43🔗 Caller He's bisexual.

1:00:45🔗 Caller No.

1:00:46🔗 Drew You know, what are you doing?

1:00:48🔗 Adam Don't have any kids with this guy.

1:00:49🔗 Drew Not taking steroids and intending to be a professional wrestler?

1:00:52🔗 Caller He only did it for like a month.

1:00:53🔗 Adam All right.

1:00:54🔗 Drew No way, I don't buy it. I don't buy it.

1:00:55🔗 Adam Drew doesn't believe it.

1:00:56🔗 Drew I don't buy it. I think he's doing it. I think that's where he may have a trophic test from all the steroids.

1:01:01🔗 Adam Drew is calling him a lying sack.

1:01:03🔗 Drew Does he do any other drugs? Any speed or marijuana or anything like that?

1:01:08🔗 Caller Lately, ecstasy and weed.

1:01:10🔗 Drew All right, Trisha. He's doing steroids too. I can almost guarantee you. That is the pattern. I just see that all the time. And they don't tell you they're doing it. They don't tell you? No.

1:01:21🔗 Caller Just be careful because Hitler was reported to have only one, right? That's true. Is he trying to rule the world?

1:01:28🔗 Drew Is he having trouble performing sexually?

1:01:30🔗 Caller No.

1:01:31🔗 Drew Was he real aggressive sexually for a while there?

1:01:33🔗 Caller No.

1:01:35🔗 Caller Normal.

1:01:36🔗 Drew All right.

1:01:36🔗 Adam Trisha, don't get pregnant. Not that this guy can get you. Are you pregnant?

1:01:41🔗 Caller No.

1:01:41🔗 Adam You have any kids?

1:01:42🔗 Caller No. I take birth control.

1:01:44🔗 Drew Good girl. He needs to go see a urologist, okay?

1:01:47🔗 Caller Okay.

1:01:47🔗 Drew He really does just to make sure there's not something stuck up in the abdomen.

1:01:51🔗 Adam Anything that gets stuck up in you turns to cancer eventually, right, Drew?

1:01:55🔗 Drew Everything.

1:01:56🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying? Stuff that doesn't happen?

1:01:58🔗 Drew Yeah, that's the concept of the colonics. You get the feces out of you.

1:02:02🔗 Adam That's right.

1:02:02🔗 Drew The foul.

1:02:03🔗 Adam You get all that plaque. You feel so much better.

1:02:05🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:02:06🔗 Adam You know why you feel better after an enema? Because some guy just got done pulling a hose out of your ass and you can walk normally again.

1:02:14🔗 Drew Listen, I just got a phone call from LA Times today. The guy that established Herbal Life died of a drug overdose, alcohol and drug overdose, bipolar, all kinds of crap. Sure.

1:02:24🔗 Adam Lose weight now. Ask me how.

1:02:26🔗 Drew He said that he was dedicated to a life of health. I said, no, no, he dedicated life of making money. That was his company. It was about making money.

1:02:34🔗 Adam I went to one of those Herbal Life meetings when I was 19. The whole thing, you guys know what that stuff is? Let's use the S word there. Basically, it's like pyramid schemes, basically pyramid scheme. You sell and then we have some crazy bitch up there giving a testimonial. My dog was 20 pounds overweight. I started feeding him Herbal Life and I was like, oh Jesus, why are these meetings chock full of batty chicks? You know what I mean? There is some kind of breeding ground for nutty chicks. But they are talking about Herbal Life and they are having energy. They are asking stupid questions. Who wants to be a millionaire without working? Show of hands. Who would like Claudia Schiffer to blow them? Okay, good. You are all motivated. Wait a minute. But remember, I don't want to work. Who would like to supplement their income working 15 seconds a day? That's one minute a week. One and a half minutes a week. Can you set aside 15 seconds a day? I don't know. I have a pretty tight schedule. Here is how you do it. All these pyramid things are the same. You don't have to actually sell anything yourself. All you have to do is get other people to come to the meeting. But eventually, doesn't somebody have to sell something? There is a certain bottom line. Then what they end up doing is they sell you like a start-up kit for 33 bucks. You end up eating the herbal life yourself and using the actual vitamin separator kit as a tackle box. And then you are screwed and that's it.

1:04:13🔗 Fuel Like working for Amway.

1:04:14🔗 Adam Yes. You know what the scam is. The scam is the start-up kit. It's not you selling the product. You drag everyone to the meeting. They got to spend 46 bucks, 110 bucks to get that start-up kit. And eventually, they just sell enough start-up kits so that whoever is selling them can be rich. Meanwhile, no one sells anything after that. Yeah, Amway, same thing. And they had these things for like water filters. They got dragged to that meeting. I'm suing. I'm suing everyone who drags me.

1:04:41🔗 Drew And you were a loser.

1:04:43🔗 Adam Hey, listen. How dare you? But when you're like 19 and you're cleaning carpets, you're riding a motorcycle and you're living in a garage in North Hollywood, you'll go anywhere for anything.

1:04:56🔗 Drew But doesn't that...

1:04:56🔗 Adam I went to a seminar to drive an ambulance. I'm sitting there in an ambulance driving school. Nine dollars an hour and you can keep whatever falls off the victim. Prosthetic limbs, wallets, gold watches, loose change, fillings, retainers, dental work, a monocle, hair pieces, all yours.

1:05:18🔗 Fuel Collecting fat to settle the grease factor.

1:05:21🔗 Adam They didn't delve that far into it. But yeah, I could do the math. Yeah, I could see that the fat was mine too. That's right. Organs, whatever. So when someone dies in that ambulance, it's really yours. Yeah, it's like somebody junked a Ferrari on your front lawn. You part it out, you're rich.

1:05:42🔗 Drew Whitney, Whitney, 19.

1:05:44🔗 Caller Hi.

1:05:45🔗 Adam Hi Whitney.

1:05:46🔗 Caller How are you doing?

1:05:46🔗 Adam Good.

1:05:47🔗 Caller Hi Fuel, you guys rock.

1:05:49🔗 Caller Hey, thanks.

1:05:50🔗 Caller No problem. About seven months ago, like in February, I went on orthotrycyclin, which is a birth control pill. And I don't know, like about August, I stopped it because I started noticing like, okay, flip your arm over, like it's bare. Well, I started getting hair there and like on my forehead, around my belly button, I'm like, okay, what's it?

1:06:12🔗 Drew Dark hair or light hair?

1:06:13🔗 Caller Light hair. I'm a natural blonde and it's just like.

1:06:16🔗 Adam What's the difference between dark hair and light hair? I mean, why?

1:06:19🔗 Drew Well, no, that light hair grows along the chin also, the chin line, like the jaw.

1:06:25🔗 Caller Yeah, like everywhere.

1:06:26🔗 Drew That's sort of a typical thing from the birth control pill. And there's actually now, they're about, we're on the eve of a cream that's going to take all that off. There's a drug company just come up with a cream for that, like a thicker hair or a peach-flavored type hair.

1:06:38🔗 Caller It's gotten really bad because like I have bangs now and I haven't had bangs since like freaking eighth grade.

1:06:42🔗 Adam Well, you mean you need to have bangs?

1:06:44🔗 Caller No, no, it's like new hair that's growing, like from my forehead.

1:06:49🔗 Drew So it's his hair.

1:06:50🔗 Adam Wait a minute, couldn't all women have bangs if they chose to cut their hair that way?

1:06:54🔗 Caller No, I just cut long hair for a while. Are you getting confused?

1:07:00🔗 Drew She's saying the hair has come so far down her forehead that she has to cut it in a bang, roll it back.

1:07:05🔗 Adam Wait a minute. If you're growing hair on your forehead, then you look like Eddie Munster, right? You have hair on your forehead. If it's gotten so bad that you have bangs, that means your hair is growing. If you had to have bangs to cover it, that's something else. But that's not what she's saying. She's saying she now has bangs.

1:07:25🔗 Drew She's just saying her hair is growing everywhere. That's her point.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Everywhere on her head, arms?

1:07:32🔗 Drew She's saying hair is growing at a very rapid rate on her head and starting to grow in places it wasn't before.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Where is she? Whitney? Seriously, give me the bang discussion one more time.

1:07:47🔗 Caller Dr. Drew has got it summed up.

1:07:49🔗 Adam Your hair on your head is growing much faster than it ever did.

1:07:53🔗 Caller Yes it is.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Okay. And it's growing in places it never had before. Right.

1:07:58🔗 Drew So you stopped the pill because of that?

1:07:59🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much. And I'm not sexually active right now. It doesn't do a big deal.

1:08:03🔗 Drew And there could be pills that would not be as apt to cause those side effects.

1:08:06🔗 Caller I don't really know which kind because my doctor was like, just a no.

1:08:10🔗 Drew Well, I suspect that the estrogen component in the pill, though it can sometimes be the progesterone in some people. So you go to lower dose estrogen first to see if that makes any difference. And if that doesn't help, then you want to go to the less potent progesterone.

1:08:23🔗 Adam You don't have a boyfriend now, right?

1:08:25🔗 Caller Not right now, no.

1:08:26🔗 Adam How are you doing? Why don't you just take a break, get off the shelf.

1:08:31🔗 Caller Well, you know, I mean, there are other benefits to being on it too.

1:08:34🔗 Drew Right. Has the hair gone away in those funny places?

1:08:38🔗 Caller That's it. I mean, I've been off it for two months and it hasn't.

1:08:41🔗 Drew Yeah, you've got to get this cream. I don't know the name of it yet, but there is a cream coming out any day now. You'll be hearing about it. It's very nice to take. It's not depilatory so much as something that reverses the problem you're having.

1:08:54🔗 Adam Really? It's not like Nair, which dissolves the hair. It actually stops it from growing.

1:09:01🔗 Fuel Have you heard of this hair removal stuff called NADS?

1:09:04🔗 Adam No.

1:09:04🔗 Caller You've not seen this commercial.

1:09:05🔗 Adam You haven't seen this? I may have.

1:09:07🔗 Fuel NADS?

1:09:08🔗 Adam Give it to me. Late Night? Late Night.

1:09:09🔗 Fuel It's like an Australian.

1:09:11🔗 Adam And the chicks down on the beach? Yes.

1:09:14🔗 Fuel I'm thinking, okay, this woman obviously doesn't know the slang word for NADS.

1:09:20🔗 Drew What it means.

1:09:23🔗 Caller It's NADS. Put NADS on your face.

1:09:25🔗 Fuel I use NADS on my face all the time.

1:09:28🔗 Adam You wonder why people weren't tipped off to that kind of stuff. Remember the ambulance company used to be called AIDS out here? That's unfortunate. You have an ambulance company for 40 years that's called AIDS and a diet candy called AIDS and everything is going great and all of a sudden the hiv comes rolling around and now you're called AIDS.

1:09:52🔗 Fuel Chevy Nova. You don't want them to pick you up.

1:09:55🔗 Adam These guys had to be sitting in front of the television going don't call it AIDS, please for Christ's sake. We've decided to call this horrible disease that affects the homosexual population killing everyone AIDS.

1:10:11🔗 Drew Originally it was called grids.

1:10:12🔗 Adam Yeah. There's probably some lobbyist group for some company, the grid manufacturers of the country. We make grids and we resent that quite frankly. All right. Time for a break. Julie? Oh hi. You're 23. I never rest.

1:10:28🔗 Drew What is it called? Yes.

1:10:30🔗 Adam What's that?

1:10:31🔗 Drew One second. Anderson, was that in the air? How do you know about the name of that cream? Somebody called you? Somebody called it? Yeah.

1:10:38🔗 Adam What's the name of the cream?

1:10:39🔗 Drew Vanica.

1:10:39🔗 Adam Vanica. Black chicken venetated or what's that? Vanica.

1:10:44🔗 Drew That's the name of the cream.

1:10:45🔗 Adam All right.

1:10:46🔗 Caller Any hair? Just this kind of hair?

1:10:47🔗 Drew No. It's female. It's particular sort of the jaw and cheek and stuff. Women get this sort of Dr. Seuss growth in through here. That Sam I Am thing.

1:11:01🔗 Adam No. That's the Grinch hair.

1:11:03🔗 Drew No.

1:11:03🔗 Adam The Grinch stuff.

1:11:05🔗 Drew Sam I Am had it too.

1:11:06🔗 Adam We talked about this a few times. Elvis Presley. Listen, ladies. We see it. You know, the chicks go, I swear to God, I was in a beauty supply store doing a comedy bit once and this chick came in and it's like she's in there for her monthly mustache bleaching. And I just said to her flat out, listen, Nick Nolte had a mustache. Redford had a mustache. I knew he had a mustache. It was blonde, but there it was. You think blonde guys can't have mustaches? You think we don't think? What about blonde guys who have blonde hair? We think they're bald? We don't think they have hair in their head? We can see blonde hair, ladies. We see it very well. Just wax that thing right off or pluck it or do whatever. But that bleach, and I think this is going out of style, but the idea of you got a pretty good mustache going and you're going to bleach it, that just means you're dating Nick Nolte from the 70s. That's all. And I said, just pull that, and she pulled it. And I mean, when I looked at that strip, it's like a carpet remnant.

1:12:12🔗 Caller I mean, it was blood.

1:12:13🔗 Adam Do not bleach. Ladies, go ahead and just yank that hair. Yank it everywhere else. Just yank that lip.

1:12:18🔗 Drew How about laser? You get to take care of it.

1:12:20🔗 Adam Whatever it is, don't bleach it. That ain't fooling anybody. Big bun, mutton chops coming down on the side.

1:12:28🔗 Drew That's the stuff you can get the cream for now.

1:12:30🔗 Adam All right.

1:12:30🔗 Fuel Is the laser permanent?

1:12:32🔗 Drew You have to get it repeatedly done.

1:12:35🔗 Adam I had it on my neck because I get this neck rash, and it didn't really, I don't know.

1:12:39🔗 Drew You can get rid of it. You can get rid of the hair if you haven't done enough time.

1:12:41🔗 Adam It's not the world's greatest technology.

1:12:43🔗 Caller I was walking through the airport the other day, and this guy was growing neck hair, and I'm talking long neck hair.

1:12:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:12:49🔗 Caller Yeah. Is that tiny?

1:12:50🔗 Drew That look? Like 10 inch long hair. It's a wolf man.

1:12:53🔗 Caller Where was he going? Nothing else. Shaved here, he just had a strip about the size of your pinky, growing here, and it was long and down.

1:13:01🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:13:02🔗 Caller Like down to like his chest.

1:13:04🔗 Drew Wow.

1:13:05🔗 Adam You mean like a foot down?

1:13:06🔗 Caller A foot down.

1:13:08🔗 Caller From under his chin, like below his jawline here.

1:13:10🔗 Drew That is a statement.

1:13:11🔗 Caller Carrying a business suit, polo shirt, I mean whatever, the whole nice looking guy carrying a briefcase with hair here. I thought it might be an Oriental thing or something.

1:13:24🔗 Adam Maybe he like bought his daughter stuff monkey and he was carrying it or something and he didn't keep it high.

1:13:29🔗 Caller I could not. I mean it was like long and he tended to, you know what I mean, combed out from like underneath his chin.

1:13:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:36🔗 Caller I'm talking on the neck like where the neck, you know, what do you mean, your jawline here. I don't know how to explain it to people listening.

1:13:40🔗 Adam No, that's where your Adam's apple is.

1:13:42🔗 Drew Maybe.

1:13:42🔗 Caller Yeah, where your Adam's apple is, this kind of thing. Just down and combed out and proud of it. I'm talking seriously about it.

1:13:48🔗 Drew That poor guy. And I had laser.

1:13:49🔗 Adam That is bizarre. He wanted it.

1:13:51🔗 Caller He was cultivating it. I've never seen that before. It's like growing cheek hair.

1:13:57🔗 Drew That's weird.

1:13:58🔗 Adam Although once in a while, like I said, the Chinaman. You get these guys.

1:14:02🔗 Caller That's what I was thinking.

1:14:02🔗 Adam They have six hairs coming out of their chin. They're both a foot and a half long. There's like three of them. And you're just looking at a guy and you're going, you know, if you want, you can just cut that right off.

1:14:12🔗 Caller It's a couple of snaps.

1:14:13🔗 Adam It's just nip-nip. It's gone. And you get a little something. New invention. It's about a thousand years old. It's called a razor. You just kind of just go ahead and drag it on that part. Yeah, you got to do it like once a week.

1:14:25🔗 Caller I've never seen this stuff, though.

1:14:26🔗 Adam This was so...

1:14:27🔗 Caller I was in the airport, almost had a heart attack.

1:14:28🔗 Adam He had a problem. That's LA. We'll take ourselves a break. Fuel's here. We'll be back.

1:14:35🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready, ready, ready.

1:15:09🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. Fuels are at guest night. We're going to hear something off their CD coming up. I'm going to take one call. Sure. We're going to hear something from them.

1:15:20🔗 Caller Where are we going here, Drew?

1:15:22🔗 Caller Line 4.

1:15:23🔗 Adam Speaking to Kim. Kim, it's 19, Kim.

1:15:25🔗 Drew And we'll go back to Julie after that.

1:15:26🔗 Fuel What's up?

1:15:27🔗 Caller Okay. This sounds really weird, but I've had normal orgasms before. I know how they feel. But recently, lately, when I feel like I'm about to come, you know, those three seconds right before it, it actually turns into a feeling that I'm going to go to the bathroom like pee.

1:15:46🔗 Drew You know, some women do that.

1:15:48🔗 Adam For me, the three seconds right before I come is where I'm taking my pants down.

1:15:54🔗 Caller It doesn't feel normal. It doesn't feel like a normal orgasm. Like, it really feels...

1:15:59🔗 Drew Is this the same boyfriend all the way along or?

1:16:01🔗 Caller No.

1:16:02🔗 Drew Something different about what's happening with this guy?

1:16:04🔗 Caller Um, not really. No.

1:16:06🔗 Drew Well, any chance you have a urine infection?

1:16:08🔗 Caller I don't feel like I do. I've had a bladder infection before.

1:16:11🔗 Drew You might want to get that checked out just to see if there's something there causing some irritation. But to have urination during orgasm is a common thing. And to be fearful of it is also a common thing.

1:16:21🔗 Caller I don't. I haven't yet. I stopped. Because I don't know if it's going to be an orgasm or I don't know if I'm going to go to the bathroom. So I don't want to continue. So I stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Because I don't do it.

1:16:31🔗 Adam Kind of nice. I've never like I've never ripped a big fart when I've had an orgasm. But if I thought I was going to, it would throw me off. You know what I'm saying? Imagine we get women calling like this all the time. They go, I'm scared. It feels like I'm going to pee and I don't want to pee and I'm embarrassed. And we always go, mom, just do it. But think about it. What if you thought you're going to have a huge fart, a huge fart ball, right when you had an orgasm?

1:16:58🔗 Drew In your mail? You'd move right along.

1:17:00🔗 Adam No, but wouldn't it freak you out a little bit? I mean, wouldn't it throw you off a little bit?

1:17:03🔗 Drew You fart in front of your girlfriend as a matter of sort of the pleasure and sport, right?

1:17:08🔗 Fuel Let it roll.

1:17:09🔗 Caller But not at that cherished moment, right?

1:17:11🔗 Adam That's right.

1:17:12🔗 Caller There's a line that even you can't.

1:17:14🔗 Fuel Psycho-dream for one.

1:17:14🔗 Drew I thought you said there's nothing to stop a guy from his orgasm.

1:17:18🔗 Adam I'm saying it would give you some cause to pause. It would be distracting. I could see it messing with you a little bit, timing-wise. Especially with women who are more sensitive about that stuff. And urine, which is probably higher up on the embarrassment scale than a fart would be.

1:17:37🔗 Fuel Some people enjoy that, too.

1:17:39🔗 Drew I don't think guys are that bothered by it.

1:17:42🔗 Adam No, they're not. But there's many things that guys aren't. You know, I'm going to write a book one day. And here's what it's going to say. What guys aren't bothered by, what we are bothered by. Because here's what women don't know. They don't know. They're confused about what we're bothered by. And then they don't pay attention to that big blonde mustad, which is something we are bothered by. We got it all screwed up. We are bothered by the constant haranguing, and the constant nagging, and the big blonde Nick Nolte mustache. And we're not bothered by the urine, the orgasm. That's what we're not bothered by. I write a book, Bothered, Not Bothered. Someone should tell women this.

1:18:24🔗 Fuel We just think it was an extremely wet orgasm. We think we did something good.

1:18:27🔗 Caller Right.

1:18:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:28🔗 Fuel Yeah.

1:18:28🔗 Caller We were like, all right.

1:18:30🔗 Adam It's Friday.

1:18:31🔗 Caller But the urination thing kind of connected sometimes with the G-spot kind of thing, right?

1:18:35🔗 Drew Yeah. That's somewhere.

1:18:36🔗 Fuel Could be more extreme.

1:18:37🔗 Drew Well, but you think more in terms of the female ejaculation being an internal stimulation.

1:18:43🔗 Adam I want to talk to Alex. He's mad. He's mad at us. I love talking to people that disagree with me or upset by something I said.

1:18:51🔗 Caller Alex? Yeah.

1:18:52🔗 Adam You're 23.

1:18:53🔗 Caller Yes.

1:18:53🔗 Adam What's up?

1:18:55🔗 Caller I'm not really mad at you. I'm just kind of disappointed.

1:18:58🔗 Drew All right.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Well, go ahead.

1:19:01🔗 Caller I've been listening on my drive home.

1:19:04🔗 Drew Just tonight?

1:19:05🔗 Caller Yes, tonight. And you guys aren't solving, well, not really solving. You're not helping the people that are calling you.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Yeah, that's true.

1:19:15🔗 Caller Why?

1:19:16🔗 Adam Huh? I don't care. Listen, I never, I don't want to, I don't want to solve the problems of the people that call this show. I would like the people who are listening to this show to not get themselves in the same predicament as a lot of people that are calling this show. Nobody's listening. That's a greater audience for me. But give us an example. Like, what do you mean? You have a specific call or something?

1:19:40🔗 Caller I started with, I think her name was Kim, and she was kind of seeing the two cousins. And you guys dug into a total different area about her father. And that was nothing to do with her question. Her question was about what should she do with these two guys. And you told her, oh, well, just leave them alone and stop getting back at your father. Well, no, that's not the point.

1:20:04🔗 Adam You tell me what you would, what advice would you give her?

1:20:07🔗 Drew You're gay.

1:20:09🔗 Caller And your point is?

1:20:10🔗 Adam You get, Drew, please, give us your advice for Kim.

1:20:14🔗 Caller My advice? Um, choose one, choose none, choose both. It's her choice. See, that's where you guys step in.

1:20:25🔗 Adam You need to write a column.

1:20:27🔗 Drew Choose one, choose none, choose both.

1:20:29🔗 Adam Dear Retard, alright, choose one, choose none, choose both.

1:20:33🔗 Caller You said choose none.

1:20:34🔗 Caller Well, see, I'm not the one giving advice.

1:20:36🔗 Adam I understand, but listen, I thought we told her that the older guy was a criminal.

1:20:41🔗 Caller Okay.

1:20:41🔗 Adam And the 20-year-old was an A-hole and a criminal.

1:20:44🔗 Caller Okay.

1:20:45🔗 Adam She had some...

1:20:45🔗 Caller The 17-year-old would soon become a criminal when he turns 18.

1:20:49🔗 Drew No, we didn't get into that. We didn't... what we got into was why would she choose to be victimized by guys like this? And that's why we... That's what her question was.

1:20:58🔗 Adam I don't give a rat's ass what her question was, you idiot. I'm not here to try to figure out what their question is. I'm here to give them the proper answer. I don't have time for this. You understand? We know what the answer is. It's a screwed up dad. This is what getting better is. You want to get to the crux of the problem or you just want to dance around it? You understand? Why dance around when we have the answer? What a surprise. Her dad was a little abusive, tried to force religion on her. Now she's acting out. What a surprise. Why don't we get to the root of the problem? Isn't that what you do in any part of life? You understand? I don't care whether you're rehabbing a house, or rehabbing your hip, or doing surgery, or any facet of life, or fixing a car. You understand? If you've got a car that's overheating, you're just going to keep dumping coolant into it, or you're going to figure out what the problem is and fix it. You're going to get to the root of the problem so it doesn't keep happening. That's what we're attempting to do on this show. How dare you call us into question.

1:22:01🔗 Drew Excuse me.

1:22:03🔗 Adam You have fun. All right. Stop wasting our time, you idiot.

1:22:06🔗 Drew You just wanted to say all that.

1:22:07🔗 Adam I did?

1:22:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:22:08🔗 Adam All right.

1:22:09🔗 Drew Well, there you go.

1:22:11🔗 Adam Well, listen. The guy's got a problem with our advice, and he says, see one, see both, see none. What the hell kind of advice is that? I mean, I'll listen to somebody. And listen, we do plenty of things wrong on this show. But no one who ever calls up has a list. Whenever they repeat it back to us, they never have a real, they never articulate themselves correctly. They never have a real beef. It never works out right. You know what I'm saying? We told her dad was an a-hole, look into that. Stop seeing the 20-year-old guy. Don't get pregnant and keep your eye on the 17-year-old. What else? What do you want? Kill yourself? Have all your problems go away? All right, we'll take ourself... No, we're not taking a break. We're playing a song. That's right.

1:22:49🔗 Caller Playing one from Fuel.

1:22:50🔗 Drew Playing Down.

1:22:50🔗 Adam This one's called Down.

1:26:26🔗 Caller That was Fuel.

1:26:28🔗 Adam Down is the name of that one. You can see them at the whiskey out here in Los Angeles, on the world famous Sunset Strip. Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday, we're going to take ourselves a little bit of a break. And when we come back, we're going to speak to Julie. Julie's 23, had a EEG, showed left side of brain, slower, EKG? EEG. What is that? Same as EKG?

1:26:54🔗 Drew Electroencephalogram.

1:26:55🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. This technology keeps marching on. Except for in dentistry, everyone. Same chair, same drill, same pick, same stuff, same nurse, same scrub, same, same, same. Oh yeah, I'll be going to the dentist soon. I'm overdue for a little cleaning. You want the pina colada or the cherry pumice? Gee, pina colada, yeah, I'm really going to enjoy that. There's nothing better than pina colada flavored sand with no rum. Fantastic. I can really get behind that. Listen, you make the goddamn tooth scrub, the same flavors you make the goddamn toothpaste, so we're not confused.

1:27:37🔗 Drew Right.

1:27:38🔗 Adam Well, the people are like, well, some people enjoy pina colada. Yeah, I like a nice brisket too. You got to give me the brisket scrub. Or I like my, I got Jewish grandma, I like liver and onion. Do you have that? Thanksgiving. Why don't you give me a nice turkey with some mashed potato scrub, you idiots? Yes, I like a pina colada. I like to be on a beach drinking pina colada. I'm strapped to a chair in the valley. Numbed up, screaming my lungs out. Screaming scrub, having my enamel chewed off by sand. Just put it, just put the mint flavor, you idiots. And stop wasting your time with that stuff. Get to the important part of dentistry. We don't care about the pina colada, retards. All right, we'll be back.

1:28:21🔗 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

1:28:22🔗 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-199. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

1:29:03🔗 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He's Dr. Drew over there. Carl and Brad are both here from Fuel. Something Like Human is the name of the CD at the Whiskey for the next three days, starting tomorrow. And let's hop back to the phone.

1:29:20🔗 Caller Julie?

1:29:21🔗 Caller Hi.

1:29:21🔗 Adam You're 23.

1:29:23🔗 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew and Adam, you're wonderful, and I don't know how you have the time to do everything that you do. But my question was, Dr. Drew, I've heard you talk about how brain chemistry can be altered if a person was sexually abused as a child.

1:29:37🔗 Caller Sure.

1:29:38🔗 Drew I mean, our experience in life alters our brain chemistry. That's really what determines our personality structure to some extent.

1:29:45🔗 Caller Would this ever show up as abnormal EEG?

1:29:48🔗 Drew Well, it's an interesting question, and certainly it can change PET scanning, which is what a lot of people are studying right now, is what anatomic sort of three-dimensional activity differences there are in the metabolic activities in regions of the brain as determined by different kinds of mood disturbances, personality disorders, substance use, that sort of thing.

1:30:08🔗 Adam But are those organic predispositions, or what if you were severely, ritualistically abused or beaten?

1:30:16🔗 Drew But that's the point. They're trying to correlate certain histories with certain kinds of patterns of PET scanning.

1:30:21🔗 Adam Right, but you were talking about substance abuse, but that could be a genetic, that could be there before the substance got there.

1:30:29🔗 Drew But then you can take people with that genetic predisposition and look at them and compare them to the people after they've used.

1:30:34🔗 Adam Okay, but what about the other things you were talking about?

1:30:36🔗 Drew The changes, the point is that we are biological gels, that our brain is an organ, and that the environment impacts on the function of that organ. And you can now start to record those patterns of differences that people have in their brain, metabolic activity, and what the regions are that are working, not working, working harder, that sort of thing. The EEG, I imagine, could change too, but I'm not familiar with any literature that documents that. It may be out there.

1:31:00🔗 Adam What happened to you?

1:31:02🔗 Caller I think I was like six or seven or eight, I'm not sure, and it was this next door neighbor, his uncle, for a while, and then the neighbor had kids, I guess, you know.

1:31:16🔗 Drew What were they looking for when they did the listening?

1:31:19🔗 Caller Actually, it was totally unrelated. They wanted to make sure I wasn't having seizures because I was feeling dizzy and I was fast out. It turned out it was just my blood sugar, and I have a blood sugar problem. I have a history of that in my family, so low blood sugar, but it was totally unrelated. But it turned out that I did have a very abnormal EEG, and the doctor said, you know, it doesn't affect me really. He asked me if I had certain problems with, you know, depression or anything like that. I don't know if that can, I guess, affect it, but yeah, he said, you know, it won't affect you in your daily life. You know, it could.

1:31:58🔗 Drew What kind of doctor was this you were saying?

1:31:59🔗 Caller It was a neurologist.

1:32:01🔗 Drew You may want to get on to it. Do you have a psychiatrist?

1:32:04🔗 Caller No. It's funny. I work for behavioral. I work as a behavioral health specialist, but I am only part-time student and I don't have any insurance, so it's not like I can see anybody.

1:32:19🔗 Drew And you don't go to university?

1:32:21🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

1:32:22🔗 Drew Do you go to university?

1:32:23🔗 Caller There isn't one where I am right now. I did come from one, and they don't offer any kind of health services.

1:32:30🔗 Drew A university that has no health services?

1:32:32🔗 Caller It's a two-year college.

1:32:33🔗 Drew I see.

1:32:34🔗 Caller I'm trying to get my foot in.

1:32:35🔗 Adam Junior college?

1:32:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:37🔗 Caller Of course.

1:32:38🔗 Drew As soon as you get off to university, they usually have very...

1:32:41🔗 Adam The bookmobile comes by, though, doesn't it?

1:32:43🔗 Drew Essentially, every university has a very evolved student health service. There's some of the highest quality health care systems in the country. Take advantage of that when you go, okay?

1:32:50🔗 Adam Yeah, okay.

1:32:51🔗 Drew Because a neurologist is looking at it from the perspective of a neurologic disease. You need somebody who has a higher degree of training, in the psychiatric aspects of the biological function of your brain.

1:33:01🔗 Adam Oh, listen, you're fine. Oh, we don't got time anymore, Julie.

1:33:04🔗 Drew One last question. Go, go, go.

1:33:06🔗 Caller Would that affect me not feeling anything sexually?

1:33:10🔗 Drew Well, being sexually...

1:33:10🔗 Caller I have orgasms, but I can't feel sex actually inside me.

1:33:14🔗 Drew Being sexually abused is something we hear periodically, is women feel sort of cut off from the pelvic function, that they actually don't feel anything.

1:33:21🔗 Adam Listen, if you were badly abused, that would happen.

1:33:26🔗 Drew It makes sense. That's how you dealt with that trauma. You just cut yourself off from it.

1:33:29🔗 Adam It's weird. The sex, it's like... Back to my car parts analogy, it's like if sex is like a part of you, I mean, it's like a part of your life, you know, whatever percentage it stands for, but it's like if it was a car part, it'd be like, you hit a pothole, the sex gets screwed up. A boulder falls on your hood, the sex gets screwed up. You don't put any oil in the engine, the sex gets screwed up. Transmission blows up, sex gets screwed up. Yeah. Like everything goes to the sex. Yes. It's not the little parts. As a girl, like I said, daddy beats on you. Sex, sexual abuse, sex, physical abuse, sex, fat, sex, getting sex, everything sex, eating sour sex, everything goes right to the sex part. It's bizarre. Yeah. It's like I said, like there's some little part in your car that was affected when anything else, when anything, you didn't put water in it, you didn't put oil in it, hit a pothole, it got car jack, it got rolled, sex. It's just, that's the part that got screwed up. It happens with everybody. Why? Why does it all get funneled? It's like it just all gets funneled into the sexuality. No matter what it is, pow. And then all the acting out just becomes the sort of acting out of the sexuality. And all the, you know, like, Pam Anderson's and Madonna's and everything. It's all some wrestler guys. Colt Roundup, Toby.

1:34:52🔗 Drew Let's go bright.

1:34:52🔗 Caller Okay.

1:34:54🔗 Drew Toby.

1:34:54🔗 Adam Clay, the good looking guy. I know, this is the Pocahontas. All right, we'll be back.

1:35:35🔗 Drew Oh, man. Hey, why do you think I didn't want to drive back with him from Orange County?

1:35:39🔗 Adam How dare you bring that up over the air? I was looking forward to driving Drew back from a K-Rock calendar signing on Saturday, but he said he had a driver waiting for him for three hours rather than drive home with me, and I'm looking forward to our drive home when I could discuss a few key issues.

1:35:56🔗 Drew I'll call you back.

1:35:57🔗 Fuel There's a bonding time there.

1:36:01🔗 Drew Put your phone on tonight. I actually felt guilty on Thursday. I called you last night.

1:36:07🔗 Adam I didn't have my phone. I have said it many a time and I've said it for the last 20 years. One day when I'm gone, I'll be hailed as a genius. All of you have told me to shut up and quiet down and stop talking.

1:36:21🔗 Drew Never say anything like that to you. Just avoid it. Just get out of your talking. True.

1:36:26🔗 Adam We haven't been on any long plane flights in a while. That's when it's because I'm drunk. I'm drunk and it's early. It'll be right back. Six hours. Great. All right. I want to thank Carl and Brett for coming in here. Fuel, the name of the band. Go out and get the CD, Something Like Human and go check them out at the whiskey coming up next three days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Thanks guys. Appreciate it. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. There's a bunch of pictures of me getting nailed in the ass by black guys.

1:36:54🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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