Sunday, October 8, 2000

2:27🔗 Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBC Seattle.

2:43🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

2:55🔗 It is the Loveline of Adam Corolla.

2:56🔗 Voiceover That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax or 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest, the ladies man from Saturday Night Live, of course, Tim Meadows is here. Welcome back.

3:18🔗 Tim Meadows Thank you very much. Thanks for having me.

3:20🔗 Adam I was just thinking, Tim's on a grind because obviously the movie's coming out Friday and he's doing the press junket and he's probably not thrilled to be here but that's okay. We don't really care.

3:35🔗 Drew But we're thrilled that he's here.

3:36🔗 Adam We're happy he's here and I'm happy to be here. We know what it's like to not that we're in any kind of demand but on a smaller level, you know, go kart tracks. Drew, Drew, you opened a you opened a Smart and Final Iris out in Conejo, I think it was a couple of weekends ago.

3:54🔗 Drew Yucaypa.

3:55🔗 Adam Yucaypa, right. The point is, is you got to be a whole bunch of places you don't necessarily want to be and then you got to act like you want to be. But all I'm saying is, is you don't have to act like you want to be here on this show.

4:09🔗 Tim Meadows Can I just go to sleep in the corner?

4:10🔗 Adam Whatever you want, fetal position, I'll wake you up during the commercials so you can break wind and have at yourself.

4:19🔗 Tim Meadows You don't have to wake me to do that.

4:20🔗 Adam Okay, all right. We're glad to have Tim. I guess Tim was in here...

4:25🔗 Drew Eight months ago?

4:26🔗 Adam No, I'd say longer. A year? A year and a half? I think it's been a year plus.

4:31🔗 Tim Meadows It's been about two or three years.

4:33🔗 Adam No, I think it can't be more than a year and a half, can it?

4:36🔗 Drew Who knows?

4:37🔗 Adam All right.

4:37🔗 Tim Meadows Who cares?

4:38🔗 Adam All right. Well, I'm not saying that is a slight to Tim. I just mean it's not interesting to the people who are listening, whether it's here 18 months or 22 months ago.

4:46🔗 Tim Meadows I don't care.

4:47🔗 Adam I know, neither do we. The Ladies Man, which I always thought was a very funny character on Saturday Night Live, and one of the few, and I don't want to paint myself in the corner here, but Drew, as you know, I have no range as an actor and impressionist.

5:02🔗 Drew Even more so, you have a dearth of good things to say about other comedians.

5:08🔗 Adam Well, you know-

5:09🔗 Drew Rarely, he says something positive about somebody, especially a sketch comedy.

5:11🔗 Adam No, I'm not going to say something positive about Tim Meadows, if that's where you think I'm going. What I was going to say is I do a small and mild impersonation of the Ladies Man that I don't work on, but it happens to be one I have. I have, as Dennis Miller says, the range of a daisy air rifle when it comes to acting impersonations.

5:31🔗 Drew That's Ladies Man? I thought it was Minka.

5:33🔗 Adam Now, I do. Yes, I do Minka, the number one Asian big boob porn queen, and I do Tom Vu, who used to sell real estate late night.

5:43🔗 Drew It was also Minka.

5:44🔗 Adam Who does the same voice as Minka. And I do a little bit of Ladies Man, but I'm going to have to work it out before I-

5:49🔗 I've got to bark hon like John Mock and Roe.

5:52🔗 Adam That beat steps up, I'm smocking the hole. Oh yes, I do Tim the Russian rapper too. I forgot about that. But no, I'm sorry, not Tim.

6:01🔗 Tim Meadows Team.

6:02🔗 Adam Which is totally different. I don't want to go down that route. Alright, so thanks for coming in, Tim.

6:07🔗 Tim Meadows Thanks for having me.

6:08🔗 Adam And you know, the Ladies Man, the bits look good. I mean, the commercials I've seen look funny.

6:16🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, we are very happy with the movie. And I don't want to ask, I feel like I'm, I've been answering these questions, like, for the past two weeks. I'm going to try to make it different.

6:25🔗 Adam Now, you know what you should say?

6:28🔗 Caller The movie sucks?

6:29🔗 Adam No, no, but I was watching, you know, I see everyone talk about their movies and the same old ramp and they become, they sound like a used car salesman after a while. Say, say this, go, here's what I would say if I had a movie. I'd go, listen, this isn't the best movie that's ever come out. I'm not going to kid you. But, on the other hand, I wouldn't say it was good if it wasn't. This is my reputation. This movie's funny. Say that.

6:50🔗 Drew No, no, wait, wait. It doesn't have that much energy. Oh, it doesn't? It's way too much energy.

6:53🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, that's way too much. It's too complicated.

6:56🔗 Adam You want to say ditto, then?

6:58🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, I'll just repeat whatever you say. No, it's a, I'm very proud of the movie. I was very happy to get it made and, you know, it's a really fun character to do and people seem to like it a lot.

7:10🔗 Adam Did Lorne Michaels come to you and say, let's do it?

7:13🔗 Tim Meadows He said, right, he asked me to write a script with the two guys I work with. And so we, you know, we took a summer and wrote it and they liked it and they gave us very little money to make it and that was it.

7:29🔗 Adam It seemed to me and of course this was just watching the commercials that it sort of seemed like the thing could stand on its own regardless of whether you're familiar with the character or not, which is I think some of the problems some of the other Saturday Night Live spinoff movies have had sometimes, which is the characters, you got to love them and then they start to wear a little thin. Yeah, this guy seems kind of likable the way he is.

7:55🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, he is likable and I think part of the thing that makes him, you know, interesting to watch and, and, you know, is that the fact that he is, you know, you don't know that much about him, you know, and we don't have like catchphrases, we don't have, you know, I think the Cavassi thing and whatever, you know, we don't have these, those things that easily bore the audience watching it every week, you know, and this movie, you know, is, there's a lot of things you don't see in the sketches that we don't get time to do. You sort of learn more about what his life is like in Chicago and his radio show a lot like this and he gives out not his advice, advice is not as good as the advice that you guys give.

8:36🔗 Adam Oh, that'll remain to be seen. All right, so again, coming out, the ladies band coming out this Friday and that would be the 13th and we'll hop on the phones and speak to Joel. Joel?

8:51🔗 Caller Joel?

8:53🔗 Adam Did Joel hang up or just get off speakerphone? All right, good enough. Ian?

8:59🔗 Yeah?

9:00🔗 Adam You're 14, what's up?

9:01🔗 Caller What up?

9:02🔗 First of all, what up to man A's?

9:03🔗 Caller You rule.

9:04🔗 Adam That's my ramp name.

9:05🔗 Caller That's my man, man, man A's.

9:07🔗 Caller You totally rule, Adam.

9:09🔗 And what up to Brian L too?

9:10🔗 Adam Man A's. You see?

9:13🔗 Caller Man A's.

9:14🔗 All right, I was fingering my girlfriend last Saturday night and-

9:19🔗 Drew This guy is the ladies man.

9:21🔗 Adam Right.

9:21🔗 And when I pulled my fingers out, there was blood all over them.

9:24🔗 Adam I see. And do you think you kill her?

9:29🔗 Well, I don't know if she was screaming like I had, but- Oh, please.

9:31🔗 Adam Oh, how dare you. And how old is she?

9:34🔗 Well, she's 14 too.

9:36🔗 Adam I see.

9:36🔗 All right.

9:36🔗 Adam What do you think, Drew?

9:38🔗 Drew You don't- Is it possible that she was menstruating, Ian?

9:42🔗 I asked her that. The phone screen asked me that too, and she wasn't.

9:45🔗 Drew How do you know that?

9:46🔗 Well, because she told me. I asked.

9:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:48🔗 Drew She had not been, but now she is.

9:51🔗 Adam Is she a virgin?

9:52🔗 What? Yeah.

9:53🔗 Adam Let me tell you about women in the vagina. All bets are off. Sometimes when they're not, you can like get them going, right? Can't you like kind of kickstart them a little bit?

10:02🔗 Drew Kickstart what?

10:03🔗 Caller Well, let's say their period. Yeah.

10:05🔗 Drew Absolutely. You can. Sex, the sexual stimulation can trigger periods in some women. And that's all he's got going here.

10:10🔗 Adam Is that because that area becomes engorged with blood?

10:13🔗 Drew Yes. Really? Yeah. But.

10:15🔗 Caller It was like a lot of blood.

10:17🔗 Drew That's fine. She started her period.

10:18🔗 Tim Meadows How big are your hands?

10:20🔗 Caller Well, they're just like normal size.

10:21🔗 Caller They're not like Charles Barkley hands.

10:23🔗 Adam And you don't have any kind of Super Bowl or Championship or graduation ring that you wear on the fingering hand?

10:31🔗 Caller No.

10:31🔗 Caller Not that night.

10:32🔗 Adam I see. No Gotti, Liberace, Liberace-esque type of jewelry?

10:36🔗 Caller Don't think so.

10:37🔗 Adam OK.

10:38🔗 Drew Relax, Ian.

10:39🔗 Adam All right, Ian. All right. Ian, maybe, maybe you're, could her hymen have broken?

10:43🔗 No, because she's used dildos before, so.

10:46🔗 Adam I see. All right. Fourteen.

10:48🔗 And Adam, also, my family is like part Amish, I guess, or something, but we haven't had cable for so long.

10:54🔗 Drew Ian, you sound Amish. Just the way you use language, the way you treat women. That first thing occurred to me. I said Amish. I thought. His brother's name is Hezekiah.

11:02🔗 Adam I got to be honest. I thought Quaker.

11:04🔗 Drew Well, OK. They're close.

11:06🔗 No, I'm actually Christian, but I'm finally getting cable and I'm getting the man show now.

11:10🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Hey, that's on tonight. Oh, great. Thanks, Ian. All right. I'll see you in hell. All right. See you when I get there. All right. My family's first of all, I picture part Amish. I picture a guy with just one big long pork chop sideburn down to his chin and no mustache and nothing on the other side. Part Amish, like, well, we use a, and we don't use a horse drawn carriage. We use a carriage but it's got a Briggs and Stratton on it. Part Amish. Oh, his parents have to be disgusted. I wonder what man shows on tonight. Oh, cut it out. Sunday Nights, everyone. Comedy Central. Heather. Hey. What's up?

11:50🔗 Caller I want to say hi to Tim Meadows. Hi.

11:54🔗 Caller I have a problem. I'm gay and I recently met this guy and he was into a lot of drugs before. So I started to have a relationship with him and I think he started to do drugs again because all his friends do drugs.

12:08🔗 Drew Well, people that are addicts don't suddenly stop being addicts. They don't. It's a disease, it's a progressive disease and it doesn't remit without some kind of treatment. So while people can stop and start, there's always progression, there's always return.

12:21🔗 Caller This is the way it is.

12:22🔗 Caller The thing is, I don't even know why I'm attracted to him because I do, I mess around with a lot of guys and I'm gay. I just don't understand why I'm attracted to guys though.

12:32🔗 Drew Well I guess, just a guess.

12:35🔗 Adam I'm going to guess what Drew's guess is going to be. Dad?

12:37🔗 Drew Dad is an addict or an alcoholic?

12:39🔗 Caller Yeah, my dad is an alcoholic.

12:40🔗 Drew Right.

12:40🔗 Adam Amazing.

12:41🔗 Drew And that is what sort of helped fuel your sexual orientation.

12:47🔗 Adam Well wait a minute. What do you think turned you into a lesbian, Heather?

12:53🔗 Caller I'm not exactly sure. At first I always thought I was bi and now I'm just gay but I still mess around with that.

12:57🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused?

12:59🔗 Caller No.

13:00🔗 Drew Was dad physically abusive?

13:01🔗 Caller No.

13:02🔗 Drew He's just a raging alcoholic?

13:04🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean he drinks but it's not like he hits me or anything.

13:09🔗 Adam Why do you figure you're lesbian and into men?

13:15🔗 Caller I don't let them do anything to me. I just do things to them and I don't understand why.

13:19🔗 Adam You got a sister?

13:20🔗 Caller No. I have an older brother.

13:23🔗 Adam Let's see. Are you doing anything to him? Did anything ever happen to you besides being an alcoholic dad?

13:28🔗 Caller No.

13:29🔗 Drew You never raped?

13:30🔗 Caller No.

13:31🔗 Adam You just do stuff to guys and you don't allow them to do anything to you?

13:35🔗 Caller I do sometimes. I have this guy but I don't understand why.

13:40🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on a second. What we got here is a full-blown lesbian who has sex with guys. It's like, you know the thing that's funny about our show is everything unravels in due time but it doesn't have to be that way. You know, it's like I'm a lesbian, I really like this guy, well I just do things with guys, I do stuff with them, I don't allow them to do things with me except for most of them who end up doing stuff with me.

14:09🔗 Tim Meadows I'm trying to figure out the problem. Is there a problem in this?

14:12🔗 Adam I don't know. Heather?

14:13🔗 Caller Yes?

14:14🔗 Adam What is the problem?

14:16🔗 Caller I don't know because I don't know if I should be with him or not.

14:19🔗 Drew She's asking why is she with guys like this.

14:21🔗 Adam How old is he?

14:22🔗 Caller He's 17.

14:23🔗 Drew All right.

14:24🔗 Adam And he's a drug addict?

14:25🔗 Caller He used to be.

14:26🔗 Drew There's no use to be a drug addict.

14:28🔗 Adam No.

14:29🔗 Drew He's a practicing addict again.

14:30🔗 Caller The thing is, I smoked cigarette smoke on his jacket. He's like, oh, I'm having problems at home again. So I started to smoke because it made me feel better. And I'm worried that if I do go out with him, because I don't want it to be like a sexual thing or me worried all the time that he's going to be out with his friends doing drugs.

14:46🔗 Drew All right. Listen, Heather, you ever heard of an organization called Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics? Yeah. Go to get some Al-Anon at your belt here. Because you're still affected by having the alcoholic dad. And it's causing you to make some unpleasant or unhealthy choices with your male partners. Whether or not, what your sexual orientation is, I can't figure out. I'm completely confused. So it's no wonder you'd be confused too.

15:11🔗 Adam Okay.

15:12🔗 Drew So just realize you're confused. You need a little Al-Anon.

15:15🔗 Adam Hey.

15:15🔗 Drew Settle down.

15:15🔗 Adam And Heather?

15:16🔗 Tim Meadows And don't forget to see the ladies man.

15:18🔗 Adam Oh yeah, yeah. That's coming out Friday. This Friday, all your troubles magically melt away. And your sexuality will come into focus. All right. I guarantee it.

15:27🔗 Drew She will be firmly lesbian at that point.

15:29🔗 Adam You'll be digging a man with a fro. Was that a wig, by the way?

15:33🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, it was.

15:34🔗 Adam But you could get that going, couldn't you?

15:35🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. No, I couldn't.

15:37🔗 Caller You couldn't?

15:37🔗 Tim Meadows My hair would not stand up.

15:38🔗 Adam I could get that going.

15:39🔗 Tim Meadows You've got it halfway right now.

15:41🔗 Caller How dare you?

15:43🔗 Adam How dare you come in here?

15:44🔗 I'm going, oh, look at your hair.

15:46🔗 Adam I really could do that. No problem.

15:48🔗 Drew No kidding. It's there now.

15:50🔗 Caller How dare you?

15:53🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

15:54🔗 Caller Billy D.

15:54🔗 Adam Williams is coming in here tomorrow night.

15:56🔗 Drew Yeah, he's on the movie.

15:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:58🔗 Adam What is he plugging?

15:59🔗 Caller He's plugging...

15:59🔗 Drew He's the ladies' man.

16:00🔗 Caller Ladies' man.

16:01🔗 Adam Oh, I didn't know he was in the ladies' man. Yeah.

16:03🔗 Caller I gotta look at that.

16:04🔗 Drew Hey, wait a minute.

16:05🔗 Adam See, don't put him on the commercials.

16:06🔗 Tim Meadows Well, we're trying to save some of the, you know...

16:09🔗 Adam Oh, well, we just ruined it.

16:10🔗 Tim Meadows Best stuff for the movie.

16:11🔗 Adam Oh, look at that. How did I miss it? Page 14, column 9.

16:15🔗 Caller It's right there in black. It's right there in small print. Well, Billy Dee Williams is... Okay.

16:20🔗 Adam All right.

16:20🔗 Caller Well, listen, whatever...

16:21🔗 Tim Meadows He's doing a different ladies' man movie.

16:23🔗 Adam He's doing the musical. Whatever you don't get to tonight, we'll get to with Billy tomorrow, so no pressure. Billy, come in here and mop up, as usual. Liz?

16:33🔗 Hi.

16:34🔗 Adam You're 15. What's up?

16:35🔗 Caller How is everybody?

16:36🔗 Adam Good. Good.

16:37🔗 Tim Meadows Thank you.

16:38🔗 Caller Okay. Actually, I don't really have a question about Ecstasy. What causes insomnia, whatever?

16:45🔗 Tim Meadows Insomnia?

16:46🔗 Drew Lots of different things. Most often, depression, particularly if it's associated with early awakening, like you go to sleep and you wake up midnight and can't go back to sleep. Adam, listen carefully.

16:57🔗 Adam Yeah. That's me.

16:58🔗 Tim Meadows I have that too.

16:59🔗 Adam You do?

17:00🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

17:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:00🔗 Tim Meadows Especially right now, I think it's because I'm doing so much junk.

17:03🔗 Drew So much drugs?

17:05🔗 Tim Meadows No.

17:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:06🔗 Tim Meadows So much heroin. I can't sleep.

17:08🔗 Drew But it's, yeah, there's stress, anxiety, all that figures in the sleep.

17:11🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

17:11🔗 Adam Well, look at it this way. When you have a lot on your plate to wake up to the next day, your mind can spin with that. Your mind will spin. Like when you're camping, you sleep pretty good because it's like, what are you going to do? I'm going to make huevos rancheros and whack off. You know what I mean? Yeah.

17:28🔗 Tim Meadows Your camping trips are overrated.

17:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:31🔗 Adam It's good times. Not in that order. All right. Hey Liz?

17:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:36🔗 Adam There you go.

17:37🔗 Drew What are you experiencing?

17:39🔗 Caller It's like, okay, like I'll go to sleep like at 10, but I won't be able to fall asleep until like 3 in the morning. And then I'll wake up at 5 and be just laying near my bed for like an hour.

17:51🔗 Adam Are you depressed?

17:53🔗 Caller I don't think so.

17:55🔗 Drew Anxious?

17:56🔗 Caller No.

17:58🔗 Adam You're not worried? You don't have troubles and worries?

18:00🔗 Drew You're not thinking about things all night?

18:03🔗 Caller Not really. I just lay there.

18:05🔗 Drew Well, they should have also medical evaluation. Thyroid disease can do this. Manic-ness? Being kind of manic?

18:12🔗 Adam Don't you think though when people say, I get in a bed at 10 o'clock and I lay there until 3 before I fall asleep, wouldn't you wager that somewhere in that five hours they're sleeping?

18:23🔗 Drew Yes. Most people. Or...

18:25🔗 Adam You know, just staring at the ceiling for five hours.

18:26🔗 Drew Or they're getting dysfunctional sleep. They feel like they're awake the whole time. That's what I get.

18:32🔗 Adam I get dysfunctional sleep.

18:33🔗 Drew So she could have other sleep disorders. She could have obstructive sleep problems like you have and the nasal passages are obstructed.

18:39🔗 Adam Right. Right. Well, you know, I got one foot in the grave. That's the way it works. But I... Oh, Jesus. I saw my grandma today. Speaking of reasons not to sleep, she whipped out an article on sperm. Sperm dying in truckers. Because apparently too much time in the saddle.

18:59🔗 Drew Too much rattling?

19:00🔗 Adam No, too much warmth down there. Your sack comes in about 94 degrees, whereas the rest of your body is 98 or something. And when it gets between your legs for long periods of time...

19:12🔗 Drew Comes on up.

19:12🔗 Adam Yeah, comes on up.

19:14🔗 Drew That's nice.

19:15🔗 Adam It's fascinating.

19:15🔗 Drew Very important.

19:16🔗 Tim Meadows Was she worried about you because you sit down a lot or you're a trucker?

19:21🔗 Adam I think, speaking of balls, she likes to bust mine with that. Whatever. Little tidbits of sexual information. She knows that makes me uncomfortable. Vicki? Yes. You're 30. What's up?

19:35🔗 Caller I have a crush on somebody that's 18 years old.

19:39🔗 Drew That's not good.

19:40🔗 Adam Are you divorced?

19:42🔗 Caller Uh, yes.

19:43🔗 Drew Recently, a divorce from a sort of abusive relationship?

19:46🔗 Caller No.

19:47🔗 Drew It was a beautiful relationship.

19:49🔗 Caller Um, it was okay.

19:51🔗 Drew Why did it end?

19:53🔗 Caller Um, just a bunch of little problems.

19:56🔗 Drew Like what?

19:57🔗 Caller Well, we were together for a long time. We were high school sweethearts and just, just wore out. Marriage just wore out.

20:04🔗 Adam Who wore it out?

20:06🔗 Caller Um, I think the both of us did.

20:08🔗 Drew Really? Somebody cheated?

20:09🔗 Caller No.

20:11🔗 Adam So it was a mutual thing?

20:12🔗 Caller Yes.

20:13🔗 Adam You both decided to end it?

20:15🔗 Caller Yes.

20:15🔗 Drew And it was a very quiet ending, friendly ending?

20:18🔗 Caller Um, towards the end, it got a little rough.

20:21🔗 Drew Uh-huh.

20:21🔗 Adam A little rough.

20:22🔗 Tim Meadows Uh, fighting?

20:24🔗 Caller Well, he wanted to get back and I did it and that type of thing.

20:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

20:28🔗 Tim Meadows Okay.

20:29🔗 Adam All right. And he, does he drink?

20:32🔗 Caller No.

20:33🔗 Drew We found that older women that tend to pick on much younger men, oftentimes, are sort of rebounding from a relationship that was unpleasant. And this is just sort of a non-threatening way to get involved with a male, and just keep him around as sort of a toy.

20:46🔗 Adam Yeah. You get to have sex and have people give you attention, but there's no potential for a real relationship.

20:54🔗 Caller Well, I'm not really looking for a real boy.

20:55🔗 Drew That's the point. That's what we're saying.

20:57🔗 Adam All right. Well, good.

20:58🔗 Drew He may be, though, so be careful.

21:02🔗 Adam 18-year-old guys are weird.

21:03🔗 Drew 18 is a lot different than 22, by the way.

21:06🔗 Adam Think about if you're 18 and hooked up some 30-year-old.

21:09🔗 Drew You could be harming him, right, Vicki?

21:12🔗 Caller Well, we haven't gone out or anything.

21:14🔗 Adam I mean, I know.

21:15🔗 Drew No, it could be harmful to him if he gets really attached to her and she just doesn't give a damn.

21:18🔗 Adam Yeah. He's going to come over at like 4 in the morning, drunk on wine coolers and do a Brody on your lawn with his moped. I know how these 18-year-olds are. I was 18 once. Okay. So, are you not, are you having...

21:35🔗 Drew Demanding to get an mitt back. Catchers mitt.

21:37🔗 Adam Oh, how dare you.

21:38🔗 Drew Baseball mitt.

21:39🔗 Adam Are you having, you're not dating him yet?

21:41🔗 Caller I'm not dating anyone, no.

21:43🔗 Drew That's good.

21:43🔗 Adam But you want to date him.

21:46🔗 Caller I don't want to date him. I just want to...

21:48🔗 Adam Have sex with him? Yeah. And what is your relationship with him?

21:55🔗 Caller Um, I don't want to stay because he may be listening. I don't want to say, but I see him a couple of times a week.

22:02🔗 Drew He's a pool man?

22:05🔗 Adam No. She don't have a pool. She's lucky if her apartment has a pool.

22:09🔗 Drew You're in a position of authority over him, are you?

22:11🔗 Adam No. But listen, every 30-year-old woman is in a position of authority over an 18-year-old.

22:16🔗 Drew I mean formally, like in an employment situation.

22:18🔗 Adam Alright, but really, I gotta know what this is. You see him a couple of days a week. You don't, do you have any kids?

22:25🔗 Caller Uh, no. No?

22:27🔗 Adam Okay, and you show up somewhere where he's at.

22:30🔗 Drew Twice a week.

22:31🔗 Adam Yeah, this is some kind of...

22:32🔗 Caller Uh, three times a week, yeah.

22:33🔗 Adam Three times.

22:34🔗 Drew Do you work out where you work out?

22:35🔗 Caller Yeah, sorta.

22:37🔗 Adam He works out where you work, oh, he works where you work out.

22:40🔗 Drew He's like a trainer.

22:40🔗 Adam Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah, he's going to get you back in shape. You know, you're on the open market. Build your confidence up, whether it's through the weights or through the fleshy barbell, as Drew likes to call it, when we're off the air, of course. Hi, Vicki. Well, listen, you know, have fun. What do you care?

23:05🔗 Caller So it's not, you know, against the law, I won't go to jail.

23:08🔗 Adam No, you'll be fine. I mean, you know, as far as in terms of God, sure, you'll be punished, but not in the eyes of the law. See you in hell, too, Vicki.

23:20🔗 Caller Thank you.

23:21🔗 Adam Hey, Vicki, listen, let me give you a little prediction.

23:24🔗 Caller Okay.

23:25🔗 Adam I bet you may get back together with this guy of yours.

23:28🔗 Drew The husband?

23:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

23:30🔗 Drew Carnac. Why?

23:31🔗 Adam It's a possibility. It always happens that way. They only get back together for about six months, but they might get back together again. Here's my point. Do not tell him you banged around with the spotter at the gym. Do you understand? Okay. All right. Fine. All right. Good times there. Tim Meadows is our guest tonight. Of course, the ladies' man coming out this Friday. And then the real ladies' man, Billy Dee Williams, will be in here tomorrow. I'll show us here tomorrow. Well, it's a short 23 and a half hours away. You can make it. And my neighbor, John Cryer, will be in here later on in the week. I think I'm going to actually pick him up.

24:10🔗 Drew The volleyball team coming in too.

24:12🔗 Adam Oh, the gold medal beach volleyball guys. Oh, that is nice. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break when we come back. We'll talk to Stephanie. She's 22. She's pregnant, doesn't know who the father is. And when they say that, they don't mean like when I say to you, when you act that way, it's like I don't even know you, man.

24:32🔗 Drew No, they mean like there's a few.

24:34🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Okay. All right. I got it after this. It's like, I don't even know you, man. It's Love Line, I'm Adam Ferola, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOV. Tim Meadows is our guest tonight.

25:22🔗 Tim Meadows Howdy.

25:23🔗 Adam Eight seasons, seven seasons, eight, nine seasons.

25:27🔗 Tim Meadows Nine long.

25:29🔗 Adam Long, grueling, arduous, in the dentist chair, getting root canal seasons. On Saturday Night Live, and now with his first big breakout movie, The Ladies Man, coming out this Friday. And again, Billy Dee Williams will be in here tomorrow night to talk about The Ladies Man as well. Well, we won't talk too much about tonight, other than to say it's funny, and it's coming out this Friday the 13th. There you have it. Are you going back Saturday Night Live?

25:59🔗 Tim Meadows No, I did my... I think I did my actual official last one yesterday in New York. And I just came on and did Ladies Man on Weekend Update. And that was pretty much it.

26:11🔗 Adam And that's it?

26:12🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, I might be there this week, but I'm done. I'm doing a Michael Richards show.

26:17🔗 Adam Oh, right. And who's going to... Who's doing the news on Saturday Night Live now?

26:23🔗 Tim Meadows Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon.

26:26🔗 Adam Oh, they're going to go back to like the Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd sort of thing?

26:31🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. They did the first one last night. It was pretty... It turned out good. It was a lot of nervous energy. You know?

26:38🔗 Adam I could imagine.

26:39🔗 Tim Meadows They were funny and I was really proud of Tina because she had... You know, Jimmy's been on camera a lot before, so he's sort of used to it, but she was out there for the first time. She's a former head writer at the show.

26:51🔗 Adam Ah. So, yeah, now she's in front of the camera. Yeah, I always... I enjoy the news on that show regardless of who they have on there because I like the jokes. I like the writing. I like Norm MacDonald a lot, but I liked all of them a lot.

27:06🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, I did, too. I like Norm. Norm and Colin, I thought, were both great.

27:10🔗 Adam I thought Colin was great, too. I mean, he didn't seem like a newsman at all. He seemed like a teamster.

27:16🔗 Tim Meadows He seemed like a guy who took over a new... He, like, broke in and started doing the news. Yeah. Like, he threatened somebody.

27:23🔗 Adam Right. Like, one of his buddies from Long Island had a gun to the cameraman's head, like, up in the booth, like, to the director's head, going, Keep it rolling, wise guy. He wants to talk to his girlfriend. Keep it rolling. Yeah, that's what it looks like. But even if he doesn't seem to have that demeanor, the material was still really funny, I thought.

27:46🔗 Tim Meadows Because Colin is smart. He's a smart dude. And he keeps up on politics and all that stuff. You know, he really enjoyed doing it. He likes being an opinionated dude.

27:59🔗 Adam Right, a place where he can express himself.

28:01🔗 Tim Meadows I just flew in.

28:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I understand.

28:02🔗 Tim Meadows Complete sentences.

28:04🔗 Adam Now, that's why Drew likes this show, because he has opinions and he likes to keep them to himself and hear me blabber about high school and how much I hate my parents. Right, Drew?

28:13🔗 Drew That's basically what I do.

28:15🔗 Adam That's why this show, Taylor made for you. You have opinions that are your opinions, that you keep to yourself. Thank you. Stephanie?

28:25🔗 Drew Personal opinions.

28:25🔗 Caller Your personal opinion. The word personal is right in there.

28:29🔗 Adam All right, go ahead.

28:31🔗 Drew Stephanie?

28:31🔗 Adam You're 22.

28:35🔗 Caller Well, basically what happened was I ended up in a situation where a couple weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't a planned thing. It was just an accident.

28:51🔗 Drew Who's the guy?

28:56🔗 Caller Um, there's no specific guy.

29:00🔗 Adam You don't, okay, so is this, hard to understand that one. Yeah.

29:06🔗 Caller How many guys were, Couple of different guys.

29:09🔗 Caller Couple of guys.

29:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:11🔗 Drew Two guys.

29:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:12🔗 Adam Two?

29:14🔗 Caller Huh?

29:14🔗 Adam Two guys?

29:15🔗 Caller Yeah, two. Um, but, Yeah? Neither one of them was serious. Okay.

29:23🔗 Adam I see. And, um, any, and what were their nationalities?

29:28🔗 Caller Um, one was white and, uh, no, both of them are white.

29:33🔗 Adam I see. Well, that'll make it easy. And, uh-

29:36🔗 Drew Why, why are these-

29:37🔗 Caller Actually, I'm black.

29:38🔗 Adam Oh, you're black? Well, either way, you're going mulatto, right?

29:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:44🔗 Adam Right. Okay. So now, what do you, what do you want to do?

29:48🔗 Caller I don't know what I'm going to do.

29:50🔗 Drew How far along are you?

29:52🔗 Caller Eight weeks, eight and a half weeks.

29:56🔗 Adam And, uh, you're just sleeping with these two guys, but you weren't serious about them at all.

30:00🔗 Caller I'm in college. I was just like, you know, like we go out on the weekends and we have fun, like me and my girlfriends. I was on the pill and I didn't think this would ever happen to me.

30:16🔗 Drew You took the pill properly?

30:17🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I was living in Great Britain for a year and I was still on the same pills I was taking when I was over there. I got off them and I was going to try new ones, but I was still on them when I, well, I don't know. It's all but confusing.

30:38🔗 Drew You weren't taking them properly.

30:40🔗 Adam What kind of college are you going to, by the way?

30:42🔗 Caller It's not a community college. It's a really university.

30:46🔗 Adam Really?

30:46🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm about to get my degree, actually.

30:49🔗 Adam San Diego State? Northridge?

30:52🔗 Caller No, in Arizona.

30:53🔗 Adam Arizona. Oh, damn. If you just give me another heartbeat, I was going to get, I was going to get to Arizona. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, that's not a real college. That's a four-year junior college. I should go around and make a list of the junior. I know San Diego State is not a real college. It's four-year junior college. And there's many schools in Arizona that fall under that heading as well. I knew there was something going on. So listen, Stephanie.

31:21🔗 Caller I'm not a stupid girl.

31:23🔗 Adam No, no. I wasn't implying that you were.

31:24🔗 Caller I'm not a stupid person.

31:26🔗 Adam Okay. Now listen, listen to me. What are you going to do with this kid?

31:30🔗 Caller I don't know. I don't know. It's like I think about it and I think, I mean, I've been putting off a lot of stuff. I can, I'm about to get my degree. I've got job offers. I can go and teach in different countries. You know, I could go back to Great Britain or I could go and teach in France or Japan. And I mean, those are the types of things I wanted to do my whole life.

31:55🔗 Adam Right. I remember when I was getting out of Junior College.

31:58🔗 Drew Stephanie, you can always give the child up for adoption. Somebody who's ready to raise a child. Lots of people out there ready for that.

32:05🔗 Adam What do the mulatto kids go for?

32:07🔗 Drew It would be a decision made on the best interests of the child.

32:10🔗 Caller I know it would. But then there's like just a conflict with my family. If they would want the baby, if I were going to give it up.

32:18🔗 Drew It's not their baby.

32:19🔗 Caller I know. But that's like.

32:21🔗 Adam All right. Well, what about an abortion?

32:24🔗 Caller I, my parents don't mean to do that. I think they're giving me the money to do it.

32:29🔗 Drew Oh, they're supportive of you.

32:31🔗 Adam That's nice. All right. Go, go with the abortion.

32:34🔗 Caller That's, that's so easy for you to say, but it's not. I mean, I saw my baby on the screen and I thought it's heart beating.

32:43🔗 Adam All right. Okay. You're right. But go for the abortion.

32:47🔗 Caller No, it's so hard.

32:49🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, you got, you got two choice. You got adoption or abortion and either way, you got to make the decision soon.

32:57🔗 Caller No, I'm supposed to get it done this weekend, but I don't know if I can do it.

33:02🔗 Adam All right. Well, then go with adoption.

33:04🔗 Caller What about adoption?

33:05🔗 Adam Now, what about the obligation to tell the biological dads, if any? And listen, I don't really care about guys. I know I'm a guy, but I don't like them.

33:14🔗 Drew I can refer to a family law person who wants to make commentary on some of the stuff like this. They actually give a phone number we can call in, a family lawyer, these kinds of questions.

33:23🔗 Adam At 10 o'clock at night? Yeah. Are you kidding? All lawyers are drunk after 10.

33:28🔗 Drew She may be drunk, but she'll give us good advice.

33:29🔗 Adam Oh, it's a she? Lesbian.

33:32🔗 Drew But listen, one thing that Stephanie is to do is make sure she gets proper support and talk to people who can help counsel her through this.

33:40🔗 Adam Yes.

33:41🔗 Drew Because it sounds like she's trying to go this alone and that she's going to have a very unhappy time of this. Even if she has the abortion and thinks that things are sort of, she'd wash her hands of this, I predict she'll have a lot of mood problems as a result.

33:55🔗 Adam All right. Who we got to talk to? I don't want to...

33:57🔗 Tim Meadows You know what would cheer her up, though, is if she goes see a movie.

34:00🔗 Adam Called The Ladies Man? Whatever.

34:02🔗 Tim Meadows I don't care.

34:03🔗 Adam This... Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Stephanie? No, it's not there. Let's see. Black woman, Billy Dee Williams, in this.

34:11🔗 Caller They all love...

34:13🔗 Adam They love Billy Dee. Hey, I know this may be a little upsetting, but in terms of adoption, how do you think it goes racially? You know what I mean? You figure the whites are on top, right? They're going the most?

34:25🔗 Drew I think most people that want to adopt go and adopt. You don't think? In fact, I was just talking to a woman...

34:29🔗 Adam Is that a bounty on like Asian kids or...

34:32🔗 Drew No, the pilot that was with Kennedy, where there's one of the setup adoptions, she was saying that people that love children and want to adopt them want a child.

34:40🔗 Adam What about boys and girls?

34:42🔗 Drew Not in this country.

34:44🔗 Adam Doesn't make a difference?

34:44🔗 Drew No.

34:45🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying? You don't think more people want to adopt a male, let's say, than a female?

34:51🔗 Drew I think people who want to adopt want a child, period.

34:54🔗 Adam Really? I want a car, but I don't want to kick a tire and look around a little bit. You know what I'm saying? No? That's what you're going with?

35:05🔗 Drew That's what this one was saying.

35:06🔗 Caller You don't want to give me an order?

35:08🔗 Drew Listen, she was clarifying that she finds that people want a child.

35:12🔗 Adam Hypothetically. Korean, Mexican. Who would be high? Who's better?

35:17🔗 Drew Tim, what do you think?

35:20🔗 Adam I'm just curious.

35:21🔗 Tim Meadows I have no idea. I would imagine that...

35:23🔗 Adam Work that list out.

35:24🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, I have no idea. Who's the best human being? Let me see.

35:28🔗 Caller I don't know.

35:30🔗 Adam Well, Drew was saying a mix. Like mutts make the best dogs. Isn't it the same with people?

35:35🔗 Drew Absolutely. Mary? Genetic diversity is the...

35:39🔗 Adam Well, it's true. I mean, look at animals that were like cocker spaniels and stuff that get inbred too long. They're really a mess. The best ones are the ones that got a little everything in them. That's why all those... You know, how come whenever those hot... You know, there's always really hot chicks and you always go, hey, what's your nationality? And they never go Irish. They go, my dad is Portuguese and he's got some Italian in him. And my... Now, they always weave a little Indian in there. My mother is black and she's Mexican and she's Taiwanese and she's got a little Cherokee blood and whatever it is, it works. Because they got like 15 things going on, but they never just give you a one. Claudia Schiffer is the only good looking woman. It's just one. All the red...

36:26🔗 Drew What's her one? What's her one?

36:28🔗 Adam She German and Irish? She's not just German? All right. Well, there you go. She's half and half. But every time a beautiful woman comes in here and we ask her about her nationality, she gives at least 15 ingredients and then slips in a little Indian thing. That's where she gets her tenacity. I'm one million Chippewa. That's what gives me my tenacity.

36:49🔗 Drew I'm not fat.

36:52🔗 Caller All right.

36:53🔗 Adam Where the hell are we?

36:55🔗 Caller One Oriental Big Boob Queen.

36:57🔗 Adam Yeah, that's Minka. You got to get into Minka. Are you into Minka at all?

37:02🔗 Drew Give me Minka.

37:03🔗 Adam Minka is a beautiful looking Asian porn queen with huge breast. You know, the reason guys are so into Minka is because she's skinny, but she had big boobs. It was great.

37:21🔗 Caller You know why men like me?

37:25🔗 Adam No.

37:26🔗 Caller I'm skinny and I have big boobs.

37:30🔗 Adam I see. And is that what makes you the number three Asian big?

37:34🔗 Caller No, I number one Asian big boob queen.

37:39🔗 Adam Number one?

37:40🔗 Caller Yes. Number one Asian big boob queen. OK.

37:44🔗 Drew A plastic surgeon was impressed.

37:45🔗 Caller Oh, a plastic surgeon. You know why I have big boobs? Why? My plastic surgeon, he tell me I have thick skin. You have thick skin? Yeah, my skin thicker.

37:57🔗 Adam You mean like you mean you mean emotionally?

38:00🔗 Caller No.

38:01🔗 Caller You mean it doesn't matter what people say about you? No, my skinny sticker. I can have bigger boobs.

38:08🔗 Adam Really, Minka.

38:10🔗 Drew I'm very interested in money, though, yes?

38:12🔗 Caller No, I don't care about money. Me, I don't care about money. Me, I have plenty of money. Me, I don't need money. Me, I want to be on a man show. Me, I don't care about money. That's $150. I swear to Christ.

38:25🔗 Adam I talked to her at a strip club for like an hour.

38:28🔗 Caller She told me she liked money 700 times.

38:30🔗 Adam At the end of the night, she's like, $200.

38:33🔗 Caller I'm like, Minka, Minka, you said you didn't like it. What do you think I put in the gas tank of the car?

38:41🔗 Caller You...

38:43🔗 Caller I got to live. Yeah, it's funny.

38:45🔗 Adam It's funny when people give you like, dude, I swear to God, she said she wasn't interested in money 100 times, okay, over the course of two hours. And then when I started questioning her, she's like, how am I supposed to live?

38:59🔗 Caller I pay rent. I'm like, okay, I'll give you the money. But you know, which is it? Oh, she's so...

39:07🔗 Adam Her knee is like a switchblade, but her knee punctured my scrotum sack. She was so tough. Oh my God. Oh, it was great. Oh, we got to get mink on this show. And we got to get... I think I got her card or something. We got to get mink.

39:22🔗 Drew And she's anything like you portray her. We must have her.

39:25🔗 Adam You wait till you meet Minka. She is skinny.

39:28🔗 Drew She's not fat.

39:29🔗 Adam She's not fat.

39:30🔗 Caller She's skinny. And she had big boobs. Like, oh, Minka, let me grab a pen and pencil.

39:34🔗 Adam That's what...

39:35🔗 Caller So you're saying, guys... Now we saw guys dug a big lard ass who was flat chested, but you're saying no? You're saying a guy like a... Let's see.

39:45🔗 Adam Skinny with the big boobs. Oh, man. Man, I was like 180 degrees off my whole life. I thought a guy with a big white ass and a totally flat chest, but you say no.

39:56🔗 Caller I don't believe you. And then Tim, she tells me...

40:00🔗 Adam Still, she got into... I was like, how did you get into the porno?

40:04🔗 Caller My tennis coach. Like, huh? I come here, I be professional tennis player. And one day, my coach, he pulled me aside and said, Minka, you get into porno, you get into a doll movie. I thought, wow, you must be one hell of a tennis player.

40:21🔗 Adam And you know, like when people tell you stories that you don't have the energy to pursue, like you go, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, you're a tennis coach.

40:29🔗 Caller Sure.

40:30🔗 Adam If I had a nickel for every time I heard the old tennis coach covering the porn store, I'd be a rich man. You know, and we got to get Minka, we got to get Minka in here. We got it. Yeah.

40:43🔗 Drew She is anything like, oh, she is more, more.

40:47🔗 Adam I guarantee it.

40:48🔗 Drew Not fat.

40:49🔗 Adam You've seen the picture. Number one, Asian big boob queen. Korean, by the way, not Japanese. It's the, it's the trade, the porn trade magazines would make her out to be. All right, we'll get ourselves, take ourselves a little break. Tim Meadows, the latest man is our guest tonight. Movie's coming out this Friday and we'll be back up to this.

41:41🔗 Caller It is Loveline.

41:42🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Tim Meadows is our guest tonight. The Ladies Man. Cello. Coming out this Friday. Let's see if we can, since the Ladies Man does a radio show, let's see if we can find a call that doesn't have to do with anal rape or let's say herpes or maybe even abortion. I think we find that there's something mellow in there, Drew.

42:11🔗 Drew Right now?

42:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:12🔗 Drew We'll just read that one.

42:13🔗 Adam All right. Peed on boyfriend last time they had sex. That sounds pretty good for the Ladies Man.

42:19🔗 Drew Versus this one.

42:21🔗 Adam Should she dump boyfriend of seven months for new guy she likes? I kind of like the urination one myself. You think those are your two choices?

42:30🔗 Drew All right.

42:30🔗 Adam We like to welcome the show guest sex expert, Leon Phelps, the Ladies Man. He's coming along.

42:37🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. What's happening? Good to be here.

42:40🔗 Adam Good to have you, Leon. Of course.

42:41🔗 Tim Meadows This is the ninth radio station you guys have here.

42:44🔗 Adam I'm sure it's similar to the facility you work at.

42:47🔗 Tim Meadows No, it's not. It's a lot bigger.

42:49🔗 Adam Oh, this is nicer.

42:50🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, this is nice. You have a microphone.

42:52🔗 Drew No way. We have microphones.

42:53🔗 Adam No, they use a cup with the bottom cut out of it over there. We've picked up your show on the satellite a few times and it's solid. I do enjoy it.

43:04🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, thank you very much. You know, a lot of people have said to me that they compare us to each other, which I do not appreciate because on my show is basically me doing the advice.

43:17🔗 Right.

43:17🔗 Tim Meadows I don't have some guy sitting next to me being funny.

43:21🔗 Right.

43:21🔗 Adam I understand.

43:22🔗 Tim Meadows So it's not, we should talk about paychecks too.

43:26🔗 Adam Yeah, we should.

43:27🔗 Tim Meadows I think some of you guys, somebody is overpaid and it's not Leon Phelps.

43:32🔗 Adam It's not Leon Phelps.

43:34🔗 Drew He's comparing himself to me.

43:36🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah, I see.

43:38🔗 Drew He's saying that the funny guy is going to overpay.

43:40🔗 Adam That's right. How dare you. Mary?

43:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:44🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up? You're up with the Adam, Dr. Drew and the guest advice person, Leon Phelps.

43:51🔗 Caller Well, hi, how are you? Well, I have a question for you. It's that, well, I've been going out for my boyfriend for about eight months and the first time we actually had sex, I urinated on him during the process of having sex. And it's happened a couple of times afterwards. And I was wondering, why is it and what could I contain myself?

44:11🔗 Drew Is it at the point of orgasm or is it just?

44:13🔗 Adam Well, if he's going to smoke, that's what you do. I mean, put out the fire.

44:17🔗 Caller No, it's during or intercourse.

44:19🔗 Drew But not during orgasm.

44:21🔗 Caller No, not during orgasm, it's during intercourse.

44:23🔗 Adam Leon, has this ever happened to you during the Love Making Act?

44:26🔗 Tim Meadows Well, yes, it has happened to me where I had to leave the room to go and use the bathroom.

44:33🔗 Adam But you never had one of your ladies urinate on you during the Love Making Act?

44:36🔗 Tim Meadows Not that I can remember. You know, I go to sleep directly after I have fec, so if there's anything going on, I do not know about it.

44:45🔗 Adam I see. And also, as Leon was telling me off the air, that is extra, if that's the kind of thing you want.

44:53🔗 Drew Mary?

44:54🔗 Caller Okay.

44:55🔗 Drew So, are you sure it's urine and not female?

44:58🔗 Caller No, I'm positive it's urine because, I mean, there's a large amount of it.

45:01🔗 Drew That doesn't mean... Listen, some women just have a large amount of fluid that they emit.

45:07🔗 Caller But out of the course of eight months, it's only happened three times during...

45:10🔗 Drew And that's sort of typical of female ejaculation.

45:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

45:13🔗 Caller Really?

45:14🔗 Drew Yeah. Usually it's urinating. It's usually during organ...

45:16🔗 Adam Alright, well, let's say it is urine. Then, how's your guy about it?

45:21🔗 Caller Well, actually, he's pretty cool about it. It doesn't gross him out or anything.

45:24🔗 Drew He's just curious as I... Guys are sort of proud of themselves, right? They produce something.

45:28🔗 Tim Meadows Usually. In what position are you sitting when it happens?

45:33🔗 Caller Excuse me? Oh, I'm on top.

45:35🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, okay. That's a myth. That's pretty myth.

45:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:38🔗 Adam He's going to have to get some sort of gutter system worked out on his belly.

45:41🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

45:42🔗 Adam Alright. Mary, yeah. Would you... Yeah?

45:47🔗 Caller I'm sorry. It usually leads to better orgasms when I...

45:50🔗 Tim Meadows Well, yeah, of course it would.

45:54🔗 Hey, Mary.

45:55🔗 Adam Yeah. What if you weren't on top? Would you still have the urination with the orgasm?

46:01🔗 Caller Well, like I said, in the course of eight months, it's happened three times, and twice I think I've been on top and once on bottom.

46:07🔗 Adam Alright. Let's see if you can stay on the bottom.

46:10🔗 Caller Alright.

46:11🔗 Adam Could you do that? I mean, he doesn't care either, right?

46:14🔗 Caller No, it's just curiosity why it happens.

46:17🔗 Adam Right. And urine is...

46:18🔗 Drew It's probably just a jack...

46:19🔗 Adam Urinal sterile, right, Drew?

46:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:21🔗 Adam I'm going to show the vagina.

46:24🔗 Drew To the ladies' man?

46:24🔗 Adam To the ladies' man. And because he claims to be an expert on women, but I bet he doesn't know many parts of the vagina. I'm going to show him the anatomy.

46:33🔗 Drew You got a point in the parts and the...

46:35🔗 Adam Yeah, no. What would you call that? Let's say right at the top. Let's just start from the top there.

46:40🔗 Tim Meadows That is the mountain. That's the mountain.

46:43🔗 Adam No. No, wait a minute.

46:44🔗 Tim Meadows And near the crevice that you go into...

46:47🔗 Adam No, that's called preputes.

46:48🔗 Tim Meadows Oh.

46:49🔗 Adam There. Okay.

46:50🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, preputes.

46:51🔗 Adam And then down a little bit lower. Like, what's that crater right there? What is that? Do you know what that is?

46:57🔗 Tim Meadows Well, listen, I have never been down this close before. Usually, I'm on top and I just do my business and grab the money on the table and walk out.

47:09🔗 Adam Right. So you never actually... Now, what about this reaching down below the vagina, that other... what looks to be like a smaller vagina underneath the vagina? Drew, what is that secondary vagina for? I'm no gynecologist, but I know you don't need two vaginas. What would the lower vagina be that seems to be a smaller one that's a couple inches under the existing vagina?

47:32🔗 Tim Meadows From this position, it looks like the butt, but I am not sure.

47:35🔗 Adam Oh, that's not an auxiliary vagina?

47:37🔗 Tim Meadows No, no, I don't think so.

47:39🔗 Drew That's a drain.

47:41🔗 Adam What comes out of there?

47:42🔗 Drew Well, you heard this woman talking about the fluid. Oh, that fluid? The fluid was plugged.

47:47🔗 Adam I see. You ever plugged any drains, Drew?

47:49🔗 Drew No.

47:50🔗 Adam Yes, I have.

47:51🔗 Drew All right.

47:51🔗 Adam Oh, the ladies man. God bless you. What a genius he is.

47:56🔗 Tim Meadows Listen, can I take that book with me when the show is over because the limo is a long ride back.

48:02🔗 Adam 45 minutes.

48:03🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, I could take it myself a couple of times.

48:06🔗 Drew Nothing more to turn on than the cross section of the female pelvis.

48:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Why waste that part?

48:11🔗 Drew A sagittal section of the pelvis.

48:14🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Emily. Emily?

48:18🔗 Caller Hi.

48:18🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

48:21🔗 Caller I've been going out with my boyfriend for seven months and I've been talking to this new guy and I'm having strong feelings for him.

48:30🔗 Adam Where's the new guy?

48:31🔗 Caller I met him in one of my classes.

48:33🔗 Drew How old is he?

48:35🔗 Caller 17.

48:35🔗 Drew And how long have you been with your boyfriend?

48:37🔗 Caller Seven months.

48:38🔗 Adam And does the new guy, does your boyfriend and the new guy both go to the same school?

48:43🔗 Caller Yeah. They know each other.

48:45🔗 Drew Why don't you break up with your boyfriend since you really don't want to have a boyfriend right now? At least not that boyfriend. Just get that over with.

48:51🔗 Caller Well, it's hard because like him and I get along really well.

48:54🔗 Drew Yeah, but listen, think what you're going to do to him if you jump ship onto somebody else. That's not, that's not fair.

48:59🔗 Adam Especially a guy who knows. Yeah.

49:02🔗 Drew That's not right.

49:02🔗 Adam You're not interested in that guy, right? I mean, you get along well, right? But that doesn't make a difference. You're not, you're not into it.

49:10🔗 Drew Yeah, not right now. Not at this point in your life. It's okay.

49:12🔗 Caller Well, what if, well, what if I do this and break up with my boyfriend and with now and get, or try to get this new guy in?

49:19🔗 Caller Because it seems like you like, I mean, it seems pretty mutual.

49:22🔗 Drew It may not work out, but just be, at least give your current boyfriend the dignity of letting the relationship end before you carry on with someone else.

49:30🔗 Adam And listen, you know what's funny? Women treat boyfriends like jobs. You know what I mean? Where guys with their jobs, it's like, yeah, I got this gig. Well, I can't quit because I don't have anything else lined up right now and I can't afford to go a couple months. I won't be able to make rent. What is that? I mean, I understand what it is, but I mean, if you don't like this guy, break up and if things work out, the new guy, fine. And if they don't, all right, you don't have a boyfriend for 10 minutes. You'll make it.

49:55🔗 Tim Meadows Big deal, yeah. You can always get the old boyfriend back, too.

49:57🔗 Adam That's true, too.

49:58🔗 Tim Meadows If you really want to be slick.

49:59🔗 Adam Very, very, very wise, Tim. Tim Meadows is our guest and I will take a quick break. We'll be right back.

50:05🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio.

50:52🔗 Adam It's Loveline with the ladies man, Tim Meadows.

50:55🔗 Tim Meadows Hi, everyone.

50:57🔗 Adam Oh, I try to squeeze something into that slot, and I'm usually unsuccessful, but I think that one kind of worked. Coming out this Friday, by the way, the 13th, lucky Friday.

51:09🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

51:09🔗 Adam 13th. And you know, something I was thinking about, Tim is on a grind. He's, of course, this week is going to be doing a lot of promotions and staying up all night, and getting up early in the morning, and shopping malls, flying back and forth to East Coast and West Coast and all that kind of stuff. And I thought to myself, you know, that's all good and well, but don't you think if the movie's good and it's well received, it'll do good business?

51:38🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

51:39🔗 Adam I mean, what you're doing can't hurt.

51:40🔗 Tim Meadows It can't hurt, definitely.

51:42🔗 Adam You're wrong.

51:42🔗 Tim Meadows I mean, I don't know. I think they figure, you know, there's audiences that you might miss, like there could be a million people that listen to this show that don't watch SNL or whatever. So they, you know, I'm just trying to, I'm, you know, I'm trying to do my part to, they gave me a lot of money to make this movie and...

52:02🔗 Adam Right. You got to back it up.

52:03🔗 Tim Meadows I got to back it up.

52:04🔗 Adam Right. Our audiences, and not a, they're a matinee group. They have weekdays off, normally daytimes, and they don't have the eight bucks to be strolling in on a Friday night. All right. So that is Drew. That is Tim Meadows. Billy Dee Williams will be in here tomorrow night. I'm going to get him to sing the Brian song theme so I can start crying on the air for everybody. If I hear two bars of that goddamn song, I break down.

52:30🔗 Caller I love Brian Piccolo.

52:35🔗 Tim Meadows I was going to say you should play that speech from Brian's song.

52:37🔗 Adam I swear to God, if I can get him to do two words from that speech, I'll start crying.

52:42🔗 Tim Meadows Have it typed out. Have it sitting right in front of him.

52:45🔗 Adam I'm having to pull that off the Internet. When Billy Dee got up there in front, Brian Piccolo, it was a made-for-TV movie from like 1970. It was a true story and that's what got me. It was about a football player. Brian Piccolo was a fullback for the Chicago Bears who died of cancer.

53:04🔗 Drew There was also footage in the film, actual footage of the two playing together.

53:08🔗 Adam Gale Sayers taking back a kickoff for 95 yards and all that. When he gave that speech to the locker room about Brian Piccolo being sick and how he loved Brian Piccolo, that was it. I remember I was trying to hold it together because my dad was sitting next to me on the sofa and I was thinking, you know, it's kind of funny, you're eight, seven years old and you're thinking, I got to be a man. No way am I going to let Pop see me balling.

53:35🔗 Drew Your dad in his leisure suit.

53:37🔗 Adam Yeah, my dad with hair bigger than the ladies' man. Collar out to, actually my dad's collar went out past each side of the sofa. I had to sit under it, like a tent.

53:51🔗 Drew Like wings.

53:52🔗 Adam My dad was great because he got divorced. I think my dad and mom got divorced must have been like 71, 72 and my dad who had dressed like Fred McMurray for my three sons for the last 20 years was now a single dude in LA and he had to get some new threads and make the scene because he's a bachelor now. So I remember he went out to God knows where and he made the scene and yeah I'm looking at the picture of the ladies man on the cover of the packet and yeah it's about right. My dad had a pair of slacks that laced up in the front and in the back. He had himself like an Afghan shirt and he wore clear glasses, you know, non-prescription. Yeah, hair out here. I think he actually had the pick with the fist on it. Although they didn't make picks with a lot of other stuff on it. You know what I mean? They were going to make like the white guy pick. They make the black guy pick with black one with the fist on it. And he had the pick because he had the ladies man type hair and he really had a look. I think he had some, I think he had some platform shoes. He really had it going on.

55:07🔗 Tim Meadows I remember my father, it was sort of the same thing. My worst thing my father ever wore was hot pants for men.

55:14🔗 Drew Oh, it was the worst.

55:17🔗 Tim Meadows They were like they were like crush velvet burgundy short shorts. And he and it came with a jacket that was like it was like a tail like tails like a formal jacket.

55:28🔗 Drew Oh my God.

55:29🔗 Tim Meadows It was the worst outfit ever.

55:32🔗 Adam Was he like a DJ to Roller Rink?

55:35🔗 Tim Meadows What did he do? No, he was he was he worked as a he was a janitor at a hospital in Detroit. But you know, he liked to get slick on the weekends and go out. But for some reason, like these hot pants were they were they were like popular, like a short fashion trend for men. Probably lasted a month.

55:53🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

55:54🔗 Tim Meadows And they actually had I'm no I'm not imagining this, but they had instead of pantyhose, they had mannyhose.

56:01🔗 Drew No.

56:01🔗 Tim Meadows So it was like nylons for men.

56:05🔗 Drew The 70s sucked.

56:06🔗 It was horrible.

56:07🔗 Adam Yeah, it was horrible. I know. What a time. Oh, my God. Think about that. Think about what guys were wearing. My poor dad. Oh, yeah. And think about that poor son of a bitch. And thank God my grandma still has some pictures of him. Some slides that pop up every once in a while with the hair all over the place and the pants with the lasers on both sides. Yeah, that's looking good. John?

56:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:33🔗 Adam You're 18.

56:34🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm Tim Meadows' biggest fan.

56:36🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, hey, thanks, man.

56:37🔗 Adam No, hold on. Tim Meadows is Tim Meadows' biggest fan. How dare you?

56:42🔗 Caller I'm Tim Meadows Jr. What are you talking about?

56:46🔗 Adam Tell us why you love Tim Meadows so much.

56:47🔗 Caller Yeah, me and my friend, we like watch the show all the time on SNL. I was wondering if you had like a great hit scene coming out on video.

56:56🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, actually, we do. They had a best of Tim Meadows. You know, when I say that, it sounds like I'm talking about Tide or Evian Water or something.

57:06🔗 Caller Right.

57:06🔗 Tim Meadows They had a best of Tim Meadows and it's coming out on video in like a few weeks, I think.

57:12🔗 Adam I'll pick that up. Where were you? At the Lambert Times on Saturday Night Live?

57:16🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, probably. I think you better get it at like Blockbuster or Video Stores or whatever.

57:21🔗 Adam Also, like maybe on Comedy Central when they do the reruns and stuff like that.

57:27🔗 Tim Meadows Right. All right.

57:28🔗 Caller I got a bad grade because of you in class, Mr. Meadows. What happened? We were supposed to do a monologue and like I didn't do it, so she made me go up there anyways. I did my own little, you know, ladies man thing and like I got an F.

57:40🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, well, you shouldn't be saying wang in class.

57:44🔗 Caller Oh, I know. I did the whole Viagra bit. But yeah, we did. We have a video we made to wow. Tim Meadows, like, I was Tim Meadows and we taught this guy is a pimp in training. So we did that. It's pretty funny.

57:58🔗 Adam Do a little do a little ladies man for us, John.

58:01🔗 Caller Well, I wouldn't want to do the ladies man with Tim Meadows in my presence, if you know what I mean.

58:08🔗 Drew Well, that's pretty good.

58:09🔗 Caller The other day, someone came into our store and they bought a crevasse. So I started laughing.

58:15🔗 Adam That's great. I wonder if sales of crevasse have gone up now that with the popularity of the ladies man.

58:25🔗 Tim Meadows No, we have not gotten one free bottle of crevasse. Really? Yeah. I think they're trying to distance themselves from us.

58:33🔗 Adam Seems like bad marketing to me. Jose?

58:37🔗 Caller Yeah, hello.

58:37🔗 Adam Hey.

58:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a little problem. I drew the question. Yeah, all right. Every time I'm like near some friends or whatever, my hands start to sweat, my palms.

58:50🔗 Drew Near some friends?

58:51🔗 Caller Yeah, not near people, you know.

58:54🔗 Drew Any time you get anxious talking to people?

58:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:57🔗 Drew Well, that's called hyperhidrosis, which just means sweaty palms. And there's some creams you can use for that. And sometimes they can even ablate the certain part of the nervous system that regulates sweating.

59:08🔗 Adam Yeah, but it seems like I'm going to get surgery for that. Hey, Jose?

59:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:13🔗 Adam And why do you get nervous around people? I guess is the question.

59:18🔗 Caller I just notice my hands, you know.

59:19🔗 Drew Is it around girls or around everybody?

59:22🔗 Caller Practically everyone, you know. Sometimes I have a needier time with it. Sometimes I don't.

59:26🔗 Tim Meadows Are you afraid to shake hands with people?

59:28🔗 Caller Sort of.

59:29🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. I've been there.

59:31🔗 Drew You get sweaty palms?

59:31🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. I used to.

59:33🔗 Adam Well, don't shake hands.

59:34🔗 Tim Meadows I make a lot of money and I got a lot of confidence in myself.

59:38🔗 Adam It changed everything. Well, unless you use some hundreds to mop up the sweat on his palms, he'd wipe himself down with a hundred dollar bill and shake hands.

59:44🔗 Tim Meadows I still have the problem with my ass though.

59:46🔗 Adam My ass sweats a lot too.

59:48🔗 Tim Meadows Being out in Los Angeles does not make it easier either.

59:50🔗 Drew What? The heat?

59:51🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. Yeah.

59:53🔗 Adam You got to make more money.

59:54🔗 Drew Adam's got a p*** in your ass. Adam wears a pelt on his ass. That's why it sweats.

59:57🔗 Tim Meadows How dare you.

59:58🔗 Adam Right? Yeah. Like it's, a mercant is a hair for the front. What would a hair and an ass skin? A pelt. A pelt. Yeah. I got a little sweat on my ass. I'm not ashamed to admit it. You know, if you sit like you sit in a vinyl seat on a hot day in a car and you don't have air conditioning and wearing a pair of slacks. Forget it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It'll show through. Hey, Jose.

1:00:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:23🔗 Adam I don't worry about it. No, it's no big deal. A lot of guys have that.

1:00:27🔗 Caller Yeah. But what if you're like, you know, girl, you know, I'm trying to hold her hand.

1:00:30🔗 Tim Meadows You know, what I used to do is wipe my hands on my pants before I would touch something or somebody.

1:00:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:36🔗 Adam What about and Drew, what about and I thought I'm a guy who sweats a lot, as you know. Right.

1:00:41🔗 Tim Meadows Right.

1:00:41🔗 Adam And I've thought about this deodorant for different body parts or antiperspirant for different body parts. Right. What's wrong with a cream that does this? I mean, they have it.

1:00:52🔗 Drew Zirac.

1:00:53🔗 Adam Yeah. But that's a prescription thing.

1:00:54🔗 Drew Right.

1:00:54🔗 Adam What I'm saying is, is when you turn around antiperspirant, it's like aluminum, diphosphate, whatever, sulfite, whatever. That's the active stop sweating ingredient. Right. But it smells like old spice and it's white. What about having that just come in a clear cream that you could rub on your hands before you went out on a date or rub on your forehead or you could actually eat it?

1:01:18🔗 Drew There are clear versions out there.

1:01:20🔗 Adam What about taking some of that?

1:01:21🔗 Drew Try it.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Taking a clear antiperspirant and rubbing it on your hand.

1:01:25🔗 Drew Try it.

1:01:27🔗 Adam You know that's not going to work though, right?

1:01:29🔗 Okay.

1:01:29🔗 Adam You're saying try it?

1:01:30🔗 Drew Try it.

1:01:32🔗 Adam William?

1:01:33🔗 Yeah.

1:01:33🔗 Adam You're 14?

1:01:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:35🔗 Adam What's up?

1:01:36🔗 Caller Well, I was at a party last night and, well, I had sex with this girl, you know, and I forgot to wear a condom, but I didn't ejaculate because I was walked in on.

1:01:50🔗 Adam Who walked in on you?

1:01:52🔗 Caller Actually, the person who was having the party.

1:01:55🔗 Adam Nice.

1:01:56🔗 Caller Like the person who was having the party. Yeah. Their mom walked in on her.

1:02:01🔗 Adam Really?

1:02:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:02🔗 Adam What room were you in?

1:02:04🔗 Caller It was like a storage room, you know?

1:02:06🔗 Drew Storage room?

1:02:07🔗 Caller Yeah. And so...

1:02:09🔗 Drew Who was stored in there?

1:02:11🔗 Adam He was storing his penis in this girl's vagina for the winter.

1:02:15🔗 Caller No. It was just like some couches and stuff, you know?

1:02:18🔗 Adam I see.

1:02:19🔗 Drew Like every storage room has.

1:02:21🔗 Caller So we were just in there, and so she walked in on us, but it wasn't like she walked in on us right when we were finishing, you know, or whatever. Like, so she didn't really see us any.

1:02:33🔗 Adam OK. But the point is, is you didn't ejaculate.

1:02:35🔗 Caller Yeah, but I still want to know, like, is it possible for her to get pregnant?

1:02:39🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:02:40🔗 Caller Yeah. Really?

1:02:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:02:41🔗 Caller All right.

1:02:42🔗 Adam So what are you going to do?

1:02:43🔗 Caller Well, that's why I called you.

1:02:46🔗 Adam Do you know the girl?

1:02:47🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:02:49🔗 Adam Is she your girlfriend?

1:02:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:52🔗 Adam OK. Well, why don't you go to take that morning after pill?

1:02:55🔗 Caller All right.

1:02:55🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah, like the bigger thing is the bigger thing. Problem is like not having protection.

1:03:01🔗 Drew Period.

1:03:02🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah. I mean, for disease, for diseases. I mean, that should be that would be my biggest concern.

1:03:08🔗 Adam Yeah. What about that?

1:03:10🔗 Tim Meadows Especially in your in the storage room and, you know, yeah. And I don't know.

1:03:13🔗 Caller I just didn't plan on it happening that night. And I just didn't bring it, you know.

1:03:17🔗 Adam No, I understand. And also you're like me. You don't want to jinx yourself with birth control.

1:03:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:23🔗 Tim Meadows Don't people carry rubbers and wallets like they used to in the fifties?

1:03:27🔗 The fifties.

1:03:29🔗 Tim Meadows I thought that was like that's what they used to do.

1:03:33🔗 Adam Hey, William.

1:03:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:34🔗 Adam Yeah. You got to start using condoms if you're going to be having her get her on the pill.

1:03:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:39🔗 Adam And then you got to get her this morning after pill.

1:03:41🔗 Drew Do you know if it is?

1:03:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:43🔗 Caller I was talking to some people about it.

1:03:45🔗 Drew And how are you going to get it?

1:03:46🔗 Caller I just I don't know if it's something like this. I'll just probably just go right into the store and get it. And not the store that's around there. I know she was around.

1:03:55🔗 Drew Where do you live?

1:03:57🔗 Caller In LA area.

1:03:58🔗 Drew William, you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

1:04:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:04:01🔗 Drew No. Look, you need a prescription.

1:04:05🔗 Caller Oh, I do.

1:04:06🔗 Adam Yeah, it's very important.

1:04:07🔗 Drew You got to try to plan parenthood or call a doctor or take her to a emergency room. And you only have 72 hours to do that.

1:04:15🔗 Adam I got a hypothetical question for you, Drew. What percentage of folks who are against the two-week waiting period for handguns are for a non-prescription for this birth control for this morning after? I may have tangled that explanation up, but you know what I'm saying?

1:04:35🔗 Drew That if you are more for guns, are you also against the morning after pill?

1:04:42🔗 Adam It was a sort of rhetorical question. I would bet you the people that argue vehemently about why we don't need the two-week waiting period for a handgun or two-month or three-week or whatever it is, would argue for the prescription for this morning after pill and argue why 14-year-olds like William Overkear couldn't just walk in and go get it for themselves.

1:05:04🔗 Drew And yet, as you and I have talked about, the people on the right tend to be, if you convince them that it's for the good of the health of the young people, they drop their BS more likely than...

1:05:13🔗 Adam Yeah, that's when they're drunk after they've just given a speech. It doesn't get worked into the speech. You see what I'm saying?

1:05:22🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

1:05:23🔗 Adam All right, thank you very much. Here we go. William, wait a minute. We just talked to you. I'm sorry. I want to talk to Michelle. Michelle?

1:05:30🔗 Caller Hi.

1:05:31🔗 Adam You're 20. What's going on?

1:05:32🔗 Caller Well, what's going on is that I'm having trouble enjoying or getting to climax when my boyfriend is penetrating and doing so. I really try to get into it. I try that mentally because I know it's all mental. I start trying to like think about what's going on, but I only enjoy it once he's like going down on me.

1:05:58🔗 Drew That's about half of all women.

1:06:00🔗 Caller Oh, I can't stand that.

1:06:03🔗 Adam Let me tell you, that's half of three quarters of women, which makes 75% of 100%, right?

1:06:08🔗 Drew Yeah. Why is that? Why is that driving you so crazy?

1:06:12🔗 Caller Because I'm a very sexual person. I'm the kind of person that would like to, you know, I enjoy trying to entice my boyfriend. I want to make him happy. I want to, you know, I'm sexual, but I can't. The reason it drives me crazy is because I want to enjoy it, too. I want to, you know, it's like I know that feeling of climaxing. But why when I'm, you know, having sex, when I'm in doing intercourse, I just feel I should, you know? And what makes it worse, too, is that he goes really fast.

1:06:45🔗 Drew Well, ask him if I can slow down.

1:06:47🔗 Adam Yeah, well, I mean, he orgasms real fast.

1:06:51🔗 Caller He orgasms really fast.

1:06:52🔗 Drew I see.

1:06:53🔗 Adam Not that his ass moves at hyperspeed, right? So, all right. So maybe if he could hold out for a little while, you might have an orgasm.

1:07:04🔗 Caller Yeah, well, maybe. But you know what? Sometimes it gets to the point where I'm like, well, I don't think this is going to happen. So I think I should just let him go and I'm done. You know, I give up, you know, and.

1:07:15🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. But I thought he comes real fast.

1:07:18🔗 Caller Well, he does. But see, I, I try to enjoy it while he's going, while he's going, you know, while we're having intercourse.

1:07:25🔗 Drew What's the longest he's able to sustain?

1:07:27🔗 Caller He is, I would say maybe 10 minutes.

1:07:31🔗 Drew And even with that, you get sort of bored with it after a while. So it's not about his sustaining.

1:07:37🔗 Adam Well, now, well, let me explain. Hold on a second. Ten minutes. Ten minutes is not, not including the foreplay. Ten minutes is three rounds of boxing with, with the break in between or actually that kicks you up to 11. But you know what I'm saying? Is it that long? Because, you know, the average Tyson fights only, only around herself.

1:07:59🔗 Caller OK, then you know what? Now that I think about it, more real, like a three second.

1:08:04🔗 Oh, my God.

1:08:05🔗 Adam How would you like to get downgraded 7000 percent? You know what I mean?

1:08:10🔗 Caller It's your biggest nightmare.

1:08:11🔗 Adam It's like, how long is Adam good for?

1:08:15🔗 Caller Forty five an hour.

1:08:16🔗 Adam How long? Twenty five seconds.

1:08:20🔗 Caller Oh, really? See, you know the thing about it?

1:08:23🔗 Adam Let me tell you what I have to explain. Time and distance to women all the time. This is where they have trouble. This is why they can't parallel park. You understand? Because I, you know, I think you tell your woman all the time, listen, that van, it's a mile behind us. Go ahead and pull. I'll never make it. I can't even see what kind. I can't even tell what color that van is from here. Just go ahead and pull into the curb. I know why I'll never make it. So you have 80 feet in front of you and 100 feet behind. I'll never make it. Women and they do this with time too. Ten minutes like we all drew. If you got a, you know, you know when you got a man in you, that's why this is eight inches.

1:09:02🔗 Drew And that was 10 minutes.

1:09:04🔗 Caller Right.

1:09:06🔗 Adam I know it's good. But I mean, if some guy is playing you for 10 straight, that's a while. That's a stairway to heaven twice or stairway to heaven. And maybe like love me too or something. I don't know how long a stairway to heaven. That's a pretty pretty long stint.

1:09:26🔗 Tim Meadows Wait a minute. Ten minutes is a long time.

1:09:29🔗 Adam OK. Now wait a minute. Now hold on. Now Tim, I know this is sounding bad for me.

1:09:34🔗 Tim Meadows I'm just I'm just I'm just surprised that you guys are like, yeah, it's just a two minutes.

1:09:39🔗 Drew He's right. Perspective of how long ten minutes actually is perceived. Yeah, it may proceed. You may think it's going ten minutes, but it may be three.

1:09:47🔗 Adam What I'm saying is, is a woman is complaining about her man coming very quickly.

1:09:51🔗 Drew It's not ten minutes.

1:09:52🔗 Adam It ain't ten minutes.

1:09:53🔗 Tim Meadows Right.

1:09:53🔗 Adam It may be ten minutes from the time he takes his pants off, goes down on her, screws around for a while, puts his thumb in her butt and gets in and gets out. And ten minutes from the time he unzips his pants, so he's standing in front of the refrigerator, smelling his fingers. That's ten minutes, but not ten minutes inside of her. That's what I'm saying.

1:10:15🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, okay.

1:10:15🔗 Adam You see what I'm saying?

1:10:16🔗 Tim Meadows Thanks for clearing that up. All right. All right.

1:10:18🔗 Adam So, Michelle?

1:10:19🔗 Caller Yes.

1:10:20🔗 Adam Okay. So, it's a shorter period of time that he's inside of you.

1:10:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:25🔗 Adam All right. And maybe if that would last a little longer, maybe you could have your orgasm?

1:10:30🔗 Caller You know, it's the point where I'm trying to put two and two together, okay? Maybe if he's going too fast, maybe that's the reason. Or maybe I just can't seem to get into it. I'm very self-conscious.

1:10:40🔗 Adam No, no, no.

1:10:41🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:10:42🔗 Adam Okay, here's the deal. You're 20 years old and most women don't have an vaginal orgasm, as they say, at 20. All right.

1:10:51🔗 Drew Sorry. She's very, she's devastated.

1:10:52🔗 Adam Well, I know because she's a very sexual person. Except for every time her boyfriend gets on her, she's thinking about enjoying it instead of enjoying it.

1:10:59🔗 Drew Trying to enjoy it, yeah.

1:11:01🔗 Adam Just because you got a pair of stiletto heels and wear too much mascara doesn't make you a real sexual person.

1:11:06🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:08🔗 Caller Any advice, though? Anything that might be able to?

1:11:11🔗 Adam Well, I think you need to stop thinking about enjoying it.

1:11:15🔗 Tim Meadows Just be in the moment.

1:11:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Dim the lights a little, put some music on, have a glass of red wine and see if you can get into it a little bit.

1:11:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:23🔗 Adam You know what I mean? You got to lose yourself.

1:11:25🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:26🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:11:27🔗 Tim Meadows Punch him in the face.

1:11:29🔗 Caller Oh, Tim. Awesome.

1:11:31🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, thank you very much.

1:11:33🔗 Caller I'll think of you when.

1:11:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:37🔗 Adam I got a better plan. Tell your boyfriend to think of Tim. See if you can add 10 minutes. Think of another ladies man. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Alison, who doesn't want to end up like her mom, who's a slut. That's fantastic. And Drew, I've heard you say the same thing about you and your mother. Is that true? No. After this.

1:12:00🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE, 191, back in a minute.

1:12:19🔗 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:12:36🔗 Caller Hey, it is Loveline.

1:12:38🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Tim Meadows is here tonight, aka Leon Phelps, the Ladies Man. Coming out this Friday, the 13th, this movie's got, let me see who else is in this. Billy Dee Williams is in this, and who the hell else?

1:12:53🔗 Tim Meadows Tiffany Amber Thiessen, who's now Tiffany Thiessen.

1:12:58🔗 Adam Drop the Amber?

1:12:59🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

1:12:59🔗 Caller Beautiful. Who else?

1:13:02🔗 Tim Meadows Will Ferrell.

1:13:04🔗 Adam Will Ferrell is a real funny guy.

1:13:05🔗 Tim Meadows The funniest dude I've ever met.

1:13:08🔗 Adam Really?

1:13:08🔗 Tim Meadows Yeah.

1:13:08🔗 Adam Yeah. He's very talented.

1:13:10🔗 Tim Meadows Really, really funny dude.

1:13:11🔗 Adam Watching him on Saturday Night Live. He's very stellar, very stellar. And who else?

1:13:18🔗 Tim Meadows We have some other cameos in it too. Mark McKinney, Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hole.

1:13:24🔗 Adam Right.

1:13:26🔗 Tim Meadows Who else? I don't know who else.

1:13:29🔗 Adam Well, you got the...

1:13:30🔗 Tim Meadows I've only seen the movie once.

1:13:32🔗 Adam The Earl Watson.

1:13:35🔗 Tim Meadows Earl Watson?

1:13:36🔗 Adam Oh, wait, did he? He's the editor. Well, listen, people...

1:13:39🔗 Tim Meadows He shouldn't be in the movie.

1:13:40🔗 Adam People enjoy Earl Watson's work. We have a very discerning crowd that listens to this show. Or are they just stoned 14 year olds? I can't remember, but they know of Watson. They know of his work as an editor. They know he's worked on, well, they know he's worked on...

1:14:02🔗 Caller House Party.

1:14:04🔗 Adam He's worked on House Party. Oh, most of them know him from Boomerang. Fast-paced action sequences in that film. It's beautiful editing.

1:14:14🔗 Caller Huh?

1:14:14🔗 All right.

1:14:16🔗 Adam Take ourselves a little... Talk to Alison. Alison?

1:14:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:19🔗 Adam You're 19?

1:14:20🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:14:21🔗 Adam What's up?

1:14:22🔗 Caller Well, I kind of have this fear of becoming my mother.

1:14:26🔗 Adam I see.

1:14:27🔗 Drew And why is that fearful?

1:14:29🔗 Caller Why is that fearful? Because I don't want to be a slut. She's not anymore, but she was.

1:14:35🔗 Adam Well, how was she a slut?

1:14:37🔗 Caller How was she a slut? During the course of her marriage to my father, she cheated on him several times.

1:14:44🔗 Adam I see.

1:14:45🔗 Caller And to hear her talk now, because we used to live in California. She was talking to her friend the other day and stuff, and she was just like, Aslin, tell Jenny how I slept with... Shut up, John! Sorry, my roommate. They're listening to me on the radio.

1:14:57🔗 Adam I see.

1:14:58🔗 Caller Anyway...

1:14:59🔗 Drew She was telling her friend what?

1:15:00🔗 Adam How she slept with...

1:15:01🔗 Caller She would talk about how walking down the streets of San Francisco, you could point it on a guy, and she'd say she'd sleep with him, or would have slept with him.

1:15:08🔗 Adam That's nice.

1:15:09🔗 Caller So yeah.

1:15:09🔗 Adam It's nice to overhear your mom talking that way.

1:15:12🔗 Caller Yeah, it's great.

1:15:13🔗 Drew Did you say anything to her when you heard her talk like that?

1:15:16🔗 Caller No, I didn't laugh at her and accept it, because I don't know how to deal with it.

1:15:20🔗 Adam Are your parents still married?

1:15:21🔗 Caller No.

1:15:22🔗 Drew Was your mom an addict?

1:15:23🔗 Caller She was at one time.

1:15:24🔗 Drew Yeah. It sounds like she's a sex addict. Yes. That's what sex addicts do, Allison.

1:15:32🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. You mean they're addicted to a substance and to sex?

1:15:38🔗 Drew 85 percent of addicts are also sex addicts.

1:15:41🔗 Adam Really?

1:15:41🔗 Drew 85 percent.

1:15:42🔗 Adam You've got to hit one of those meetings.

1:15:44🔗 Caller It didn't help that my father is in the Navy and was away all the time. I mean, I know that.

1:15:48🔗 Drew But listen, this thing of going down the street and wanting to sleep with anybody is a sex addict.

1:15:52🔗 Adam Okay. Well, hold on. Why is it so important that you convince the poor woman's daughter?

1:15:56🔗 Drew First of all, why did I magically know she was a sex, you know, that she was an addict?

1:16:00🔗 Adam Well, because everyone who calls the show is parents or junkies. Allison, we don't let them through. That's our screening process. Was your mom a junkie? No. I'm sorry. Let's put you on hold. So, listen, all you have to do is keep your legs shut for a couple months at a time and you'll be fine, right?

1:16:18🔗 Drew Or are you an addict? No.

1:16:20🔗 Caller I've had sex with two guys.

1:16:23🔗 Caller That's fine.

1:16:25🔗 Caller No, because I lost my virginity two months ago to a guy I just met the week before.

1:16:29🔗 Adam All right. But you're 19.

1:16:31🔗 Caller Classy. And that ended because I slept with his friend. But I rationalized it all and it just doesn't seem right.

1:16:37🔗 Drew So you have no momentum with any drugs or alcohol yourself?

1:16:40🔗 Caller No. I know you always go back into the background of childhood. I mean, I was molested, but I don't know if that would have anything to do with it.

1:16:50🔗 Adam Who molested you?

1:16:52🔗 Caller Um, a neighbor. No, when I was three, it was my babysitter. And then when I was eight, it was my neighbor's boyfriend. And then when I was 12, my stepdad used to pretend like he was with me.

1:17:08🔗 Adam Um, hey, uh, Allison.

1:17:10🔗 Drew Wow.

1:17:12🔗 Adam Hold on a second. First off, everyone's played that game with their stepdad. My stepdad, John, and I did that. He was an electronics engineer over at Lockheed. We used to do that stuff. Sure.

1:17:22🔗 Drew What did you call it?

1:17:23🔗 Adam Sinison. Uh, we, we just call it the BF game. I mean, I would say it. I can't say the whole thing on the air. Yeah.

1:17:31🔗 Drew Well, Allison certainly didn't hold back.

1:17:34🔗 Adam No. Hey, Allison.

1:17:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:37🔗 Adam Where'd you go to finishing school?

1:17:39🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

1:17:40🔗 Adam Okay. We're on the radio, right?

1:17:42🔗 Caller I forgot.

1:17:42🔗 Adam Okay. So your stepdad used to pretend to satamize me. To satamize you.

1:17:49🔗 Caller Well, we would be wrestling and stuff. And like the thing would be to like, we'd be wrestling on the bed because he used to watch us while my mom was at work and I stayed with her on the weekends.

1:17:57🔗 Adam I see.

1:17:58🔗 Caller And me and my sister would be there.

1:17:59🔗 Adam And he'd pretend?

1:18:02🔗 Caller Yeah, like, because I wasn't, I didn't know what it was. And he would like, grab my behind. I'd be holding on to the corner of the bed and he'd grab me by the hips and like pull me up against his pelvic region like several times.

1:18:14🔗 Adam Well, now, to be fair to him, he was probably just simulating doggy.

1:18:18🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

1:18:19🔗 Adam Let's be fair.

1:18:19🔗 Caller Oh, probably.

1:18:20🔗 Caller I mean, understandable.

1:18:22🔗 Adam I'm saying, you know, let's, until we hear his side of the story with the BF, let's, you know, let's not railroad the guy. Let's not jump to any conclusions here. He was probably just doggy.

1:18:36🔗 Caller Okay.

1:18:37🔗 Caller Everyone else likes him. So I mean, mom's still with him.

1:18:39🔗 Drew All right.

1:18:40🔗 Adam Well, listen, Allison, here's the deal. You're not going to turn out like your mom. I'm sorry.

1:18:44🔗 Caller I'm up, Josh.

1:18:46🔗 Drew She's got the history.

1:18:47🔗 Adam I'm trying to convince her she's not going to turn out like her mom. You're very angry at your mom. And the reason you have the right to be angry at your mom because she was a horrible mother and she remarried some guy who would do the BF game with you while he was watching you. Now, I understand you got a ton of anger at your mom and you focus it in this sort of slut way and all this kind of thing. But that's more of the issue than whether you're going to turn out like your mom. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

1:19:16🔗 Caller I mean, but I just, I don't know.

1:19:18🔗 Drew Although you have reason to be concerned, your history is sort of a setup for sexual compulsivity.

1:19:23🔗 Adam Right. But she's 19, she has sex with two guys.

1:19:26🔗 Drew And mom's an actress. She has about a 50% chance of inheriting that gene. So those two things could create some very powerful energy.

1:19:34🔗 Adam Okay. But at age 19, she's done okay. It would have reared its head by now. Don't you think?

1:19:40🔗 Drew I would think so.

1:19:41🔗 Adam Although, you know, I never popped a prescription pill or took a sip of booze, really.

1:19:45🔗 Drew And now look.

1:19:46🔗 Adam Until my end. I'm like Elvis now. I swear to Christ and I was fine before I met Drew.

1:19:53🔗 Drew The momentum can go on.

1:19:54🔗 Adam Before I met Drew. Interesting.

1:19:57🔗 Drew That's the problem.

1:19:57🔗 Adam It's never too late is what I'm saying. I swear to God, you know, I probably drank two bottles of red wine in my entire life up until about three years ago.

1:20:06🔗 Drew Nice.

1:20:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:08🔗 Drew So I sit here and preach at you about the consequences of all that and you just plug away.

1:20:14🔗 Adam It doesn't affect me, man. As a matter of fact, I'm funnier when I'm high. I drive better and I'm funnier. Those are the two things I do better when I'm high. All right, brother? And you're bringing me down and I can replace your ass. Because I know you've been plotting with Ann to get rid of me, man. Oh, yeah.

1:20:31🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:20:32🔗 Adam Yeah, I hear things. Oh, yeah. And don't don't play Ms. Happy Puss with me. I know what's going on. And Anderson, you're not you're not out of the woods either. I know what all you're doing. Don't think I don't know.

1:20:44🔗 Drew Come on, don't be such a pussy.

1:20:45🔗 Adam I keep an eye on all of you. I got my ear to the ground, man. Dan.

1:20:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:50🔗 Adam You're 19.

1:20:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:51🔗 Adam What's up?

1:20:52🔗 Caller Um, uh, I want to say, first of all, I respect your all your opinion. You guys got the best show on.

1:20:58🔗 Adam Well, thanks.

1:21:00🔗 Caller Um, I want to, first of all, I want to tell Drew that I respect his opinion.

1:21:04🔗 Adam And hold on a second, Drew. Yeah. Apparently Dan respects your opinion. That's good.

1:21:10🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:21:11🔗 Adam All right.

1:21:12🔗 Caller All right. Um, well, the morning after pill is going to be, uh, within my testing phases in certain, certain states right now because a recent article came out. So that's a plus for it.

1:21:24🔗 Drew But, uh, you're talking about, you're talking about, are you talking about morning after pill or are you 46?

1:21:30🔗 Caller Uh, morning after pill.

1:21:31🔗 Drew Which one? Wait a minute. Are you talking about emergency contraception or are you talking about are you 486?

1:21:36🔗 Caller I know about are you 486, but then the emergency contraception is going to be in testing phase for, uh, over the counter release in California.

1:21:44🔗 Adam Oh, fantastic. Yeah. Great.

1:21:46🔗 Drew It's about time.

1:21:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:48🔗 Caller But I want to say that the FDA made a publishing when they released it that it has a pro, it prohibits implantation as well.

1:21:59🔗 Drew It has the potential of doing that, that they can't rule that as a potential of how it works, which by the way, if you read your birth control pill, that's how the birth control work, pill works too. And by the way, there are three anti-inflammatories out there that are used routinely on women of a childbearing age that also have the same potential. Now, are you going to eliminate all those things too because of that potential? By God, they should, yes. If you go read the science, Dan, what you'll find is that the effectiveness of that morning after pill correlates precisely, wait a minute, with its ability to suppress ovulation.

1:22:30🔗 Adam You sound like the professor from the Gilligan's Island. You talk that way. You know when he would whip up that mumbo jumbo about nothing? You ever watch a professor now?

1:22:39🔗 Drew I wasn't clear with the coconut though.

1:22:40🔗 Adam As an adult and you hear him talking, you go, oh my god, he's full of crap. We talk about generating power from the coconuts and how he could fire up the weather balloon and that could float Gilligan on some sort of Gulf Stream air current to save to the mainland of China in almost no time. You know, it was always like nonsense.

1:22:59🔗 Drew Yes.

1:23:00🔗 Adam But you didn't know it, now you know it. You know what? Turns out that whole show is fiction. Dan?

1:23:05🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, the morning at the contraception.

1:23:09🔗 Adam All right. Listen, aren't you late for some kind of D&D rally or something?

1:23:14🔗 Caller I never touched a game.

1:23:15🔗 Adam Dan, how about you? Well, here's my here's my point. Here's the thing. I want to know. Wait a minute. People don't understand. OK. But here's what I find ironic. And that's the problem with the United States. The guys who know the most about it need it the least. Dan ain't getting laid for a good 100 years.

1:23:32🔗 Tim Meadows He's doing a lot of reading now.

1:23:33🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:23:34🔗 Drew Studying up.

1:23:35🔗 Adam He is the most prepared guy in the world. He's never going to use it.

1:23:38🔗 Tim Meadows It'll be like the conversation on the first date with a girl. So let's talk about the morning after pill.

1:23:44🔗 Adam I took the liberty of putting some in in your mashed potatoes while you're at the bathroom. I hope that suits you.

1:23:52🔗 Tim Meadows What?

1:23:52🔗 Caller What? What?

1:23:54🔗 Adam What?

1:23:54🔗 Tim Meadows Why are you leaving? Hmm.

1:23:57🔗 Adam All right. Listen, Dan. Are you a virgin?

1:24:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:01🔗 Adam Yes.

1:24:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:02🔗 Caller Shocking.

1:24:07🔗 Adam So it's like you're an expert on this, but yet you don't need it, right?

1:24:12🔗 Caller Well, I'm doing a report on it.

1:24:15🔗 Drew I would suggest you go, if you're in an airport, I suggest you go look at the primary documents and you'll see.

1:24:20🔗 Caller I did look at the documents. I went to the emergency contraception website and they said that.

1:24:24🔗 Drew You go to the primary studies.

1:24:27🔗 Caller Yeah, the primary studies from the FDA too.

1:24:29🔗 Drew Not on the website.

1:24:31🔗 Adam Oh, forget it.

1:24:31🔗 Drew Go actually pull the studies.

1:24:33🔗 Caller No, I went to the journals too.

1:24:34🔗 Drew All right. What you'll see is. I know and I get what you mean. Let me discuss with them.

1:24:37🔗 Adam I want to get more of a profile.

1:24:39🔗 Drew What you'll see is that's one of the things that they put down as a potential. Now, if you go read about other contraceptives, they have the same potential. I suggest you go look up MOBIC and Vioxx and Celebrex, which are very commonly prescribed anti-inflammatories. You'll see they do the same thing. Good.

1:24:56🔗 Adam Hey, Dan?

1:24:57🔗 Caller Well, I'm just saying the argument comes from people thinking that the fertilizer...

1:25:00🔗 Drew Right. They think that. They think that. If they believe that, then they should outlaw those anti-inflammatories and all oral contraceptives. If they do that, I have no argument with them, because that would be philosophically consistent. But if you're going to take a potential problem and eliminate a very effective contraception because if it's a potential of doing that, then you're making a big mistake, I think.

1:25:22🔗 Adam Now shut Drew's mic off, please.

1:25:24🔗 Caller Well, I'm not arguing with you, I'm just putting that out on the table.

1:25:29🔗 Adam Is this an oral report?

1:25:31🔗 Caller No, it's a writing report.

1:25:33🔗 Adam You see. And what about just doing one on the phantom toll booth like I did? Don't you think that would be easier?

1:25:39🔗 Caller I think I slept through the doldrum from that.

1:25:42🔗 Adam Oh, you're not making fun of Tock the dog with the clock in his belly, are you? You were 14 when you did that, though. Let me give everyone a tip. The only book I ever read was the Phantom Toll Booth through my scholastic years. And I read it in like the fifth or sixth grade or somebody read it to me or something. I got nine reports out of that book. People, you got to write book reports. It's not like you got the same teacher next year.

1:26:09🔗 Caller You know what I mean?

1:26:10🔗 Adam And then when you get into high school, it's a whole new set of teachers.

1:26:13🔗 Caller You get many, many reports.

1:26:14🔗 Adam And I'm not saying hand in the same report.

1:26:16🔗 Caller Hone it.

1:26:18🔗 Adam Sure, the one you turned in in Mrs. Parker's class in the fifth grade is not going to be good enough for Mr. Bernal's class in the tenth grade. You got to punch it up a little bit. That's what I did. I made rock soup. You understand?

1:26:30🔗 Drew Yeah, I understand.

1:26:31🔗 Adam That's how I got where I am.

1:26:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:33🔗 Adam That's right. I was immediately able to enter the carpet cleaning business after high school. No waiting. See what I mean?

1:26:39🔗 Drew And you were sort of recommended over into ceramics at that point.

1:26:42🔗 Adam Yeah, that's where my counselor recommended ceramics as a major for me. It wasn't one of the prouder moments of my parents.

1:26:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:26:52🔗 Adam Your son, well, what do you major in? Ceramics? That's good. So, what's the difference between a pinch pot and a coil pot? Well, I mean, you got time, sit down. Oh yeah. All right. Dan, I knew Dan was a virgin because Dan was 19 and sounded like what? Guys, Tim, I always say guys' voices change. And that's not even so much their voice, but just sort of their cadence changes once they're starting in life. Because we talked to 11 year olds on this show.

1:27:30🔗 Drew Sounded 53.

1:27:31🔗 Adam Yeah. They sound like Barry White. Yeah.

1:27:36🔗 Caller This finger in my bitch.

1:27:39🔗 Adam Well, she's in the fifth grade.

1:27:40🔗 Caller She's a tight piece of ass.

1:27:43🔗 Adam A lot of people say she could be in the sixth. I think she's so back and forth, but saw hair on her.

1:27:49🔗 Drew And then you have guys like Dan.

1:27:51🔗 Adam You got Dan. It's like, hold on.

1:27:53🔗 Sorry.

1:27:54🔗 Adam My got my bow tie in my mouth.

1:27:59🔗 I got excited.

1:28:00🔗 Adam I inhaled too hard. The bow tie went in my mouth. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Tim Meadows is our guest. Ladies man coming out this Friday and we'll be back after this.

1:28:13🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:28:33🔗 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:28:49🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline, of Adam Corolla.

1:28:52🔗 Drew Now I understand why you guys get your sense of humor.

1:28:54🔗 Adam Tim Meadows is our guest tonight. We were just talking about not getting laid and the difference. See, here's the deal. When you become an adult and you hang around with a bunch of other adults and half of them or three quarters of them are married or have steady boyfriends or girlfriends, everyone is having fairly regular sex, and if they're not, it's because they choose not to. But we were just talking during the break that when you're 15, 16, 17, out of a group of four or five guys, there's one guy usually who's getting a ton of tail, and then there's the other four who just want to hear about it. And it's such a big deal. I could remember my buddy Chris, I mean, on like a Friday night, he's heading up the hill. Where are you going?

1:29:38🔗 Caller I'm getting laid.

1:29:39🔗 Caller Oh, tonight? Yeah. You're going?

1:29:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:46🔗 Caller Oh, wait, can I go?

1:29:50🔗 Adam No, dude. Why not?

1:29:53🔗 Caller Well, because I'm getting laid.

1:29:56🔗 Adam What's it like? It's good. Me and Zeb are going to make popcorn balls.

1:30:03🔗 Caller You sure you don't want to hang out?

1:30:06🔗 Adam Are you nuts? Come on, let me borrow your moped. Why? So you can get laid? Well, listen, one of us might as well one of us get laid.

1:30:16🔗 Caller Let me borrow your moped.

1:30:19🔗 Adam And Tim was talking about that. The worst part is when you're not getting laid, your buddy's getting laid and you're driving him up. Yeah, dude's like, listen, drop me off. Give me about 45 minutes. Just listen to the radio out in the car or something. But shut the engine off because I don't want to get in spin. You know, it's like you end up then like and get some paper towels or something. You know, it's like you end up being the guy who's chauffeuring around the guy who's getting laid. Or Tim must tell us about his friends, folks going out town, his friends getting some in his house and Tim not getting any. Yeah. My friends would use my room to have sex in too. Although I wasn't having any of it.

1:30:59🔗 Drew Nothing to use your room to crap in.

1:31:00🔗 Adam They get crapped in my room too. Usually after the sex.

1:31:05🔗 Caller They get crapped in your bed.

1:31:08🔗 Adam And it was horrible and humiliating.

1:31:11🔗 Drew It was like some sort of weird pagan, bizarre ritual going on in your house.

1:31:17🔗 Adam Yeah, they used to like to leave a nice log in the toilet.

1:31:20🔗 Caller In the toilet?

1:31:21🔗 Drew I thought they did it in your pillow or something.

1:31:23🔗 Adam Well, that's happened too. But you know how, you know, like, you know, certain, like Zorro had his calling card, you know, certain heroes have their calling card. My friend's a big dump in the toilet. And usually a playboy or two spread out in sort of a half-fan, you know, in front of the toilet. And I was like Tonto. I'd come in there and say, mmm, the seat's still warm.

1:31:45🔗 Caller He's not long off.

1:31:46🔗 Adam He no travel manymoons. Yes, Duke, the Duke, still in one piece and not break up in water.

1:31:54🔗 Caller He nearby.

1:31:55🔗 Adam I smell him. Yes, it is fresh. All right, so now we're all getting laid. Fantastic. And Drew was getting some in high school, by the way. Larry.

1:32:09🔗 Hey, what's up?

1:32:10🔗 Adam What is up?

1:32:11🔗 Not much. I just wanted to congratulate Kim on a long career and long overdue on a feature film.

1:32:17🔗 Tim Meadows Thanks a lot, man.

1:32:17🔗 Hey, how's it feel, you know, seeing all those guys come and go and all those years on Saturday Night Live and finally getting your due?

1:32:25🔗 Tim Meadows It feels okay. I mean, you know, I've been very happy for my friends that have been successful and, you know, it's just part of the job.

1:32:34🔗 How can the movie be any better than two or three minutes on Saturday night? That skit is so funny, you know. I'll be surprised if it's better, tell you the truth. I mean, I don't see how you can get it any better than what you do on Saturday Night Live.

1:32:46🔗 Adam Well, hold on, Larry, let me answer that question if you don't mind. It's like saying, how can this one forkful of delicious pie be any better? Well, here's the answer, you get the whole pie. You understand? You get a second pie and maybe jug of milk and wash it down.

1:33:03🔗 Caller And you know what?

1:33:03🔗 Tim Meadows You won't get sick of it either. It's just the right amount of pie to eat.

1:33:08🔗 Caller I probably haven't been out to see a new movie for some time, but I told my wife when I saw the commercial, I said, well, you can go with me if you want, but I'm going to this one.

1:33:15🔗 Tim Meadows Oh, cool. Yeah, I hope you like it.

1:33:17🔗 Caller Congratulations to Dr. Drew and you and Adam also. Great show. I probably learned more by kids on this show than I have raised in two or three, so keep it up. I appreciate it. All right, Larry. Thanks a lot.

1:33:30🔗 Adam Take care of yourself.

1:33:31🔗 Caller Thanks.

1:33:32🔗 Adam A rare, coherent, complimentary caller to Loveline.

1:33:35🔗 Caller God bless you.

1:33:36🔗 Drew He was calling a different show.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Chase.

1:33:40🔗 Hey, what's up, guys?

1:33:41🔗 Adam You're 21. What's going on?

1:33:43🔗 Caller That's a much what's up, Tim.

1:33:44🔗 Tim Meadows Hi. How you doing, man?

1:33:45🔗 Caller Pretty good. I called you guys. I actually probably called a lot this year. But basically, my thing is I stopped hanging around. Some of the same friends that I was hanging around and quit quit smoking weed for a second time this year. But basically, I've been really depressed. I was depressed even when I was on it.

1:34:06🔗 Drew Sure. That's sort of typically what happens is you get you get real high like the third time you ever use it. But then you start thinking about it and using it every day thereafter. And somewhere between one and ten years, it stops working. You start getting depressed, forgetful, anxious, sometimes panic.

1:34:22🔗 Caller You know, all that's happened, but it even happened. I mean, I've been like having my depression before I started smoking weed.

1:34:27🔗 Drew Well, it makes it worse. And then when you stop, then it can get really bad for about six months. So it's important if you're in a stop smoking pot that you do in a supervised way.

1:34:36🔗 Caller Well, I remember yesterday, I don't know if this has anything to do with the weed or stop to eat, I guess, or not hanging out with my friends or whatever. But I took like a whole bunch of sleeping pills yesterday.

1:34:46🔗 Drew Yeah, you got to talk to somebody because the incidence of suicide in the first six months of marijuana abstinence is surprisingly high.

1:34:53🔗 Adam All right. Hey, Chase.

1:34:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:55🔗 Adam All right. Get some help. All right. Watch the Ladies Man on Friday. Don't forget your worries.

1:35:00🔗 Drew Talk to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist who's used to dealing with addiction. Okay?

1:35:05🔗 Caller Okay.

1:35:06🔗 Drew And they can usually help you with this.

1:35:08🔗 Caller Well, let me ask you this. Is there any, I mean, basically, I ended up throwing up at the end of the night. And I just wanted to know, is there anything that could have done to damage me inside or anything like that? What were the pills you took? Mostly they were Tylenol PM.

1:35:28🔗 Drew Tylenol? I mean, you take a bunch of Tylenol. That is very dangerous. That is one of the most lethal ingestions you can take. So I actually suggest you go to an emergency room right now, make sure your liver is OK, because your liver can shut down three days later.

1:35:40🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:35:41🔗 Drew Absolutely. This is like critically important. You only have a certain number of hours which to get the antidote. What they can do is measure the level of acetaminophen tallied on your blood now and sort of estimate what the peak levels were and determine how much of the antidote they can give you.

1:35:56🔗 Adam Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor?

1:35:58🔗 Drew Yeah. That's a serious thing. OK.

1:36:00🔗 Adam Let me. All right. But he threw it up. How big a difference that make?

1:36:04🔗 Drew No, maybe not much.

1:36:05🔗 Adam Well, should we ask him whether they were when he threw up, could you make out the pills?

1:36:10🔗 Caller You know what? That happened before, but this time it didn't make out any pills or anything.

1:36:14🔗 Drew And I mean, it's very serious.

1:36:15🔗 Adam How many did you take?

1:36:17🔗 Caller Uh, just about 24 in the bottle. So I think about like 12 or 13.

1:36:21🔗 Drew Yeah. Eight is enough to kill someone. So it really is.

1:36:24🔗 Adam Is that a Dick Van Patten sitcom?

1:36:26🔗 Drew No.

1:36:27🔗 Adam Is that something else? Eight is enough. Oh, it's just eight is enough. They chopped it. Originally, the working title was eight is enough to kill someone. And then they just went, let's start calling it eight is enough during the pilot and eventually just stuck. Yeah, that's good.

1:36:41🔗 Caller Adam.

1:36:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:36:42🔗 Caller I do remember one thing you were talking about, the sports team, how they always make up the teams.

1:36:47🔗 Adam Yeah, they make up the teams and they make up the colleges.

1:36:49🔗 Caller They usually don't make up the teams in baseball, though. That's the only sport that I've seen that they keep it real. And they do.

1:36:55🔗 Adam Yeah, they do seem to be able to get away with that. They never, I never see it in football or basketball.

1:37:01🔗 Drew What, on movies?

1:37:02🔗 Adam They do a movie and they'll use the Yankees or something. They're talking about the Al and All, the George Plimpton, Detroit Lions.

1:37:12🔗 Drew Paper Tiger. What did I say, Paper Tiger?

1:37:14🔗 Adam No, it's Paper Lion.

1:37:14🔗 Caller Yeah, Paper Lion.

1:37:17🔗 Adam I didn't cry when I saw that, but then I saw Brian's song. Alright, we will take ourselves a little break. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest tonight, we'll be back after this. Well, there you go. I want to thank Tim Meadows for coming in here and hanging out with us even though he's got jet lag and he's on a grind.

1:37:49🔗 Tim Meadows Thank you very much for having me.

1:37:50🔗 Drew He's more awake now. It's like back to the next day. You come around to the next day already.

1:37:56🔗 Adam I'll tell you what, Timmy, we're going to go back to my pad. We're going to do some blow until we get this VH1 thing about 9 a.m. You'll just be hitting your stride by that. We'll play video games and do cranking. You've got to be out about 830, 845? Yeah. No problem.

1:38:10🔗 Tim Meadows I'll stay at your place until about 6.

1:38:13🔗 Caller No problem.

1:38:14🔗 Tim Meadows Then we'll just go walk.

1:38:15🔗 Adam Yeah, watch the sun come up. I mean, it won't be a gay thing.

1:38:17🔗 Tim Meadows No, no, no, no.

1:38:18🔗 Adam It's cool. It's cool. I mean, I'll just get in your next movie, that's all. Hi, The Ladies Man, coming out Friday the 13th. Billy Dee Williams, the great Billy Dee Williams will be in. The legendary Billy Dee Williams will be in here tomorrow night to talk about what it's like being Billy Dee Williams.

1:38:32🔗 Drew And The Ladies Man.

1:38:33🔗 Adam And The Ladies Man. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:38:37🔗 Caller Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

1:38:40🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station.

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