Monday, October 2, 2000

2:33🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:43🔗 Hey. Hey.

2:46🔗 Drew Hey, it feels like we haven't been alone in here in a while. Is that accurate?

2:50🔗 Adam Yeah, I miss us. I really do miss us.

2:53🔗 Drew It's an us day.

2:54🔗 Adam Yeah. See if I can fart the place out.

2:56🔗 Drew I figured that was coming next.

2:57🔗 Adam I haven't farted in like a week. I'm ready to check myself into a hospital. Is that healthy, Drew?

3:02🔗 Drew For emotional stress?

3:04🔗 Adam I'm not feeling good about myself. Let's see if I can get something going. All right, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Let's get right to the kids. What do you say, Drew? Yeah. See if we can help them out. Tomorrow night, Nikki Cox will be in here. She was on Happily Ever After. That show? Was that the show?

3:31🔗 What was the show?

3:33🔗 Adam What? Oh, Unhappily Ever After. Okay. Same thing. That's the show where our old friend Bobcat was the voice of the rabbit. I know it all sounds surreal. Now her and Bob are either married or engaged, and she's got a new show coming out that's coincidentally named Nikki. So she'll be in here tomorrow night to talk about how good looking she is. Jillian.

3:59🔗 Yeah.

3:59🔗 Adam You're 14.

4:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:02🔗 Adam What's up?

4:04🔗 Caller Long time listener, first time caller.

4:05🔗 Caller Great.

4:07🔗 Caller I had for probably about three months now, I've had a really weird smell coming from my groin.

4:12🔗 Drew Three months.

4:13🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

4:14🔗 Adam You know, that happened to me once when I was in high school. Turned out a possum crawled into my ass and died. And I didn't know.

4:20🔗 Drew Baby possum.

4:21🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. It wasn't full. No, no, not full-grown. A teenager.

4:25🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

4:25🔗 Adam What's a possum at 15 months? Is that full-grown?

4:29🔗 Drew No, it's just prepubertal. Yeah.

4:30🔗 Adam Pre-pupural possum? Yeah. Anyway, they don't like the light. And one of them crawled up my ass and it died. And I didn't notice. And then I started noticing a smell and I blamed it on my folks.

4:42🔗 Drew That was the last time I think you hadn't farted for a week.

4:44🔗 Right.

4:45🔗 Adam I farted.

4:46🔗 Drew You passed the possum. Passed the pre-pupil possum.

4:51🔗 Adam Please.

4:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:53🔗 Adam Yeah. So that's what happened to me. So you don't think that's what happened to you, Julian?

4:59🔗 No, I don't think so.

5:00🔗 Adam No. Hmm. Now, are you circumcised?

5:03🔗 No.

5:05🔗 Drew That can be a source of-

5:05🔗 Adam You got to work that area.

5:06🔗 Drew Yeah. Keep it clean and dry. And then, you know, around your age, all kinds of funky smells start coming. Oh, really? Yeah. And you got to get used to dealing with that hygiene and deodorants and- This is where colognes start coming into your life right now.

5:22🔗 Adam Let me explain the uncircumcised penis for a second. It is like a convertible, which is, yeah, kind of nice. It has its perks. It takes a little extra work. A little armor all on the top, a little cleaning. You know, that back window gets all fogged up, gets all bad. It takes a little extra- It's a nice option. Takes a couple minutes extra a week to sort of keep that option up.

5:44🔗 Drew And you got to- It's a closed space. And bacteria love auction-deprived areas. They grow a lot crazier.

5:51🔗 Adam They stink. That has to do with cars. Kristen?

5:54🔗 Drew Yeah?

5:54🔗 Adam Why does that bacteria stink so much?

5:56🔗 Drew The anaerobic ones? What is up with that?

5:58🔗 Adam Whatever. Why?

6:00🔗 Drew It's just those.

6:01🔗 Adam Why does the stuff get moist? It just- When stuff gets moist, it smells because that's where the bacteria is. And when it gets dry, that desert never stinks. You notice that? Right.

6:10🔗 Drew It's the rainforest.

6:11🔗 Adam Right. Kristen, that's why we got to cut that place down, turn it into deserts. They don't smell so much.

6:16🔗 Drew They're working on it.

6:17🔗 Adam Kristen, you're 15.

6:20🔗 Caller If you're stressing too much, does it cause your period to be late?

6:23🔗 Adam Oh, yes.

6:24🔗 Drew Yeah, it can, but you first want to make sure you're not pregnant because that's the number one, two, and three reasons.

6:29🔗 Adam One time when I was about your age, a possum crawled up my vagina.

6:33🔗 Uh-huh. Yeah.

6:35🔗 Drew You've been using it with tampons ever since?

6:37🔗 Adam Well, the tail works.

6:40🔗 Drew Kristen? So what's the situation?

6:44🔗 Caller I'm kind of freaking out. I'm not sure if I'm pregnant or not.

6:47🔗 Drew When did you have sex?

6:48🔗 Saturday.

6:50🔗 Drew Why didn't you take the morning after pill?

6:52🔗 Caller I don't have any.

6:53🔗 Drew Why don't you get one?

6:54🔗 I don't know where to get them.

6:55🔗 Drew Oh, okay. Give your phone number. Ready?

6:57🔗 Adam You can make a hell of a parent.

6:59🔗 Yeah.

6:59🔗 Adam Where's the diapers? Let's see.

7:00🔗 Drew Saturday, Sunday, Monday. You've got till tomorrow morning, right? 1-888-NOT-NUMBER-2-LATE. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE.

7:11🔗 Okay.

7:12🔗 Drew All right.

7:13🔗 Adam What happened? You didn't use any protection?

7:16🔗 No.

7:17🔗 Drew When was your period due?

7:20🔗 Drew The day after the intercourse?

7:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Hold on. Let me talk to Drew for a second. What percentage of women ovulate a day before their period is due?

7:31🔗 Drew Low. It'd be unusual.

7:33🔗 Adam Unusual.

7:33🔗 Drew For her, if she's a regular.

7:35🔗 Adam Let me ask you. Most women ovulate, what is it, 14 days?

7:39🔗 Drew 14 to 18, yeah.

7:41🔗 Adam From the time the period ended?

7:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

7:43🔗 Adam From the time it ended.

7:44🔗 Caller Okay.

7:46🔗 Adam Is that 80 percent? Is that 90 percent? Or do we know?

7:49🔗 Drew I can't give you that number because a lot of women are irregular. Very irregular.

7:53🔗 Adam What percentage of women are irregular?

7:56🔗 Drew It's a number.

7:56🔗 Adam Is it a lot of women? Are most women pretty regular? I mean, if they don't futz with it, do you know what I'm saying?

8:03🔗 Drew Pretty regular, yeah.

8:04🔗 Adam A guy would be regular. Guys would not go for the sinking up with the office chicks, business. I mean, that's pretty regular if you can move yours to someone you're working with, who you probably don't even like.

8:17🔗 Drew Whom you don't even know when they're menstruating.

8:20🔗 Adam Only your vagina knows. It really gets weird. See, this is why you can't take mushrooms. You understand me, Drew? You get high on mushrooms and you sit there and you go, hold on. Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. You get high on mushrooms and you go, wait a minute, there's these five chicks. They all work at the same car rental place. They don't know each other. They didn't meet before the car rental place.

8:48🔗 Drew They don't know each other's menstruating.

8:49🔗 Adam They don't know when each other's menstruating. They don't really like each other all that much. They never had sex with the same man and they don't share the same underpants. Yet after 11 months, they all began to menstruate at the same time. Now, if you think about that when you're high on mushrooms, you'll freak. Your head will explode. That's why you can't get high anymore, Drew. It's enough for you.

9:14🔗 Drew I've got too many of these kinds of things flying around in my head.

9:16🔗 Adam You're starting to think about your kids in college and you'll be going, let's see, they'll be going to college in 2014 and it's going to cost me 1.8 million times 3. That is 5.2. What is that? 5.3 million. Yeah, 5.4 million. You're going to go insane.

9:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:35🔗 Adam Okay.

9:36🔗 Drew I'm just going to have it anyway. Matt?

9:38🔗 Caller Yeah?

9:38🔗 Caller What's up?

9:39🔗 Caller What's that?

9:40🔗 Caller What do you want?

9:42🔗 Caller My penis. I have like a kind of a white pus coming out of the tip of it.

9:49🔗 Drew And why haven't you gone to see somebody about that?

9:51🔗 Caller Well, it just happened recently.

9:53🔗 Drew Right. Why haven't you gone to see somebody about that?

9:55🔗 Adam Just happened recently. Just say it just happened tonight.

9:58🔗 Caller It just happened tonight.

10:00🔗 Caller Okay.

10:01🔗 Adam So you really know how to sell it, Matt.

10:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:04🔗 Adam Your drama major? No.

10:06🔗 Caller I'm 17.

10:07🔗 Adam I see. And what, have you had unprotected sex?

10:12🔗 Caller Yeah. This weekend and last weekend, I had sex with my girlfriend who's 16.

10:17🔗 Adam I see.

10:18🔗 Caller And then I had sex with her just about three or four times last weekend and it was, everything was all right. Then this past weekend, on Friday night, I had sex with her 14 year old sister.

10:30🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

10:33🔗 Adam That's you, old Houser.

10:34🔗 Caller Oh, okay. Then I went back to her house to stay the night with her dad, her older sister.

10:41🔗 Adam Oh, the older sister. Did you have sex with the older sister?

10:45🔗 Caller Yeah, for about an hour and a half. Then I went-

10:47🔗 Adam Oh, well, it was only an hour and a half. That's probably not going to count. And is it-

10:52🔗 Caller And then I went out into the living room and I had sex with her little sister.

10:56🔗 Adam No way.

10:57🔗 Caller I am the big boy.

10:58🔗 Drew Do you want to set the coordinates here?

11:00🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I got to grab a pen. I am going to figure this one out. She's got a 16-year-old girlfriend.

11:06🔗 Drew And a 14-year-old sister.

11:07🔗 Adam Who has a 14-year-old younger sister. He had sex with the younger sister, the girlfriend, and then the older sister.

11:13🔗 Drew And then back.

11:14🔗 Adam And then back to the younger sister?

11:18🔗 Yeah.

11:19🔗 Adam Back to the younger sister?

11:21🔗 Caller Yeah, then one more time back to the older sister.

11:23🔗 Adam How old?

11:24🔗 Caller And what's that point?

11:25🔗 Adam And this is what? Over the course of eight years?

11:29🔗 Caller Over one night.

11:30🔗 Adam Oh, no way.

11:32🔗 Caller It happened, I swear.

11:33🔗 Adam Okay, let me ask this. How old is the older sister?

11:37🔗 Drew 16.

11:37🔗 Caller 16.

11:38🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. Your girlfriend's 16.

11:41🔗 Drew That's the older sister.

11:42🔗 Adam No, okay. Okay.

11:44🔗 Caller Okay. Oh. Okay.

11:45🔗 Adam I had sex with my sister.

11:46🔗 Caller All right. Okay.

11:47🔗 Adam Okay. So here's how he, I don't know how you knew that, Drew, but he said, I had sex with my girlfriend, then I had sex with her younger sister.

11:54🔗 Drew Right.

11:54🔗 Adam Then I had sex with the older.

11:56🔗 Drew The older one, which is his girlfriend.

11:58🔗 Adam Oh, the older one would, yeah.

11:59🔗 Drew Okay.

11:59🔗 Adam Well, go back to saying your girlfriend, then, and whatever you had labeled her the first time around, would you?

12:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

12:04🔗 Adam Screwball. All right. So you're only banging one sister.

12:08🔗 Drew No, two.

12:09🔗 Adam Well, I mean, I mean one sister beside your girlfriend.

12:11🔗 Drew Right.

12:12🔗 Caller But what I was getting to is, it might have been what I was thinking is, because the last time that I had sex with my girlfriend is, I kind of like, we were not really done having sex, but I was really tired. So we just decided to go to sleep with my penis and her.

12:31🔗 Adam Right. And where were you?

12:32🔗 Caller I was laying on my left side. She was laying on her left side.

12:37🔗 Adam And I see your penis was in her. Oh, I see. Okay. So you were there.

12:41🔗 Caller Yeah. So I went to sleep and I woke up and then, like, my whole penis was just, like, all wrinkly.

12:50🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on.

12:51🔗 Caller Hold on.

12:51🔗 Adam I'm writing. I'm writing. Penis was wrinkly?

12:54🔗 Yeah.

12:54🔗 Caller Okay.

12:55🔗 Drew Did you go to school?

12:57🔗 Adam Wrinkly. It looked like a Sharpay?

13:00🔗 Yeah.

13:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:02🔗 Drew He's not you're talking about.

13:02🔗 Caller Okay.

13:03🔗 Adam You know what a Sharpay is?

13:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:05🔗 Drew What is it?

13:05🔗 Adam He thinks it's a marker.

13:06🔗 Drew Yeah. It's a French marker. What's a Sharpay?

13:09🔗 Adam It's a dog.

13:10🔗 Caller Ah.

13:12🔗 Adam You who doesn't know who Huel Hauser is and Steve Largent and Doug Henning.

13:18🔗 Caller I can't even.

13:19🔗 Drew He just died.

13:20🔗 Adam Doug Henning?

13:21🔗 Drew Yes.

13:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:21🔗 Adam What do you care?

13:22🔗 Drew But I mean, how weird is that that we have this big fight about Doug Henning and he's dead?

13:26🔗 Adam All right. Let's not digress too much. Matt?

13:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:29🔗 Adam Where's the father in this group?

13:31🔗 Caller Who's father? Mine?

13:32🔗 Adam Hers.

13:33🔗 Caller Hers? I don't know.

13:35🔗 Adam I don't know. He's in prison or something?

13:37🔗 Caller He's not there.

13:38🔗 Adam Okay. Could you stop having sex with the entire family? Please don't traumatize this 14-year-old.

13:43🔗 Drew Now we got a bigger problem because you have a sexually transmitted disease.

13:46🔗 Adam How do we know?

13:47🔗 Drew That's what puss out the penis means.

13:48🔗 Adam Really?

13:49🔗 Drew Yeah.

13:50🔗 Caller Oh.

13:50🔗 Drew Yeah. So that means the two-

13:52🔗 Adam You ain't using protection with one of these two?

13:55🔗 Drew Of course not.

13:56🔗 Caller Alcohol?

13:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:58🔗 Drew That's his protection.

13:59🔗 Adam Hold on. Let me talk to Matt for a second. Dear, dear, dear, retarded Matt, you- Was that a fart? Hello? Did you fart into the phone? Yeah. That was cool. I was just yelling at you, but as long as you fart into the phone, all's forgiven.

14:16🔗 Caller All right. Yeah.

14:17🔗 Adam You think it's bogus?

14:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

14:19🔗 Caller Yeah? Really?

14:19🔗 Drew I think so too.

14:20🔗 Adam I don't know.

14:22🔗 Drew Well, go ahead and give him a little lecture.

14:23🔗 Adam I would have said I was having sex with the older sister too.

14:27🔗 Drew A third one?

14:28🔗 Adam Well, whatever one I made up.

14:29🔗 Drew Maybe you've encouraged them to make their lives believable.

14:33🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

14:34🔗 Adam That's true. That's true.

14:35🔗 Drew You've coached them.

14:36🔗 Adam I've created a monster and my own callers to the show.

14:39🔗 Drew Go give them a little lecture.

14:40🔗 Adam Lecture is, you're everything that is wrong with this world.

14:45🔗 Drew Yes.

14:45🔗 Adam Believe me, you're going to screw up these girls. Listen, whether you're having sex with them or not, I don't care because someone who's listening to me is banging around with a 14-year-old and not using protection, and musing with her mind, and musing with her belly. As long as we have a fresh crop, a young screwed up teenage confused girls who are giving birth to screwed up kids, we will have a X amount of crime and X amount of unemployment. You want to keep that going? Fine. Oh, just imagine. I mean, I know Drew.

15:20🔗 Drew He's got to be treated for that, too.

15:22🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? I hope his Johnson falls off. I know it sounds bizarre, everybody.

15:27🔗 Drew Girls don't have to be treated, too.

15:28🔗 Adam But seriously, if you lived in a society where you weren't giving birth to any screwballs, where there wasn't a bunch of unfit parents and broken families and screwed up people like that, you wouldn't have to lock your doors. You wouldn't. Nobody would go in anyone's house and strangle them or steal from them or do anything. You could leave your ATM card on the dashboard of your car. What do good people do when a door is open and they're jogging down the street, or garage door is open, or a car window is open, or a briefcase is sitting on the seat of a car where the window is open? You ever stopped and stolen it, Drew? You ever broken into the house and raped the grandma? You ever done any of that? No. Why? Good person. Why? Cheap, but good parents, okay? That's all you need. If we had a whole society full of that, that'd be it. We'd be done. Shut up the prisons, turn them into one of those big mall type shopping stores. One of those big, big, big store. I'm trying to think of the name of the place.

16:42🔗 Drew Like the Beverly Center?

16:43🔗 Adam No. I'm thinking of a place like-

16:45🔗 Drew The America, the mall of America? No.

16:47🔗 Adam I'm thinking of the places where you buy in bulk.

16:49🔗 Drew Outlets, outlets, outlets.

16:51🔗 Adam The place you buy in bulk?

16:52🔗 Drew Oh, the Costco.

16:53🔗 Adam Can you help me? Costco, right. Turn all the prisons into Costco's. We'll just go over there and shop.

16:59🔗 Drew Be great.

17:00🔗 Adam Thank you.

17:01🔗 Drew But don't you think a lot of this is how we've sort of encouraged young people to deal with their sexuality? Just go, just have a good time. It's your world. Go for it. Don't worry about anybody else. Just go do it.

17:09🔗 Adam It's not sexuality. It's everything. Yeah.

17:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:13🔗 Adam I want everyone to start getting beaten. Richard?

17:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:17🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

17:18🔗 Caller Yeah. This question is mainly for Dr. Drew. I was welding tonight in my class. And we're welding in class in the rod. I dropped the rod and it went down, burnt right through my pants and like burned the tip of my penis.

17:38🔗 Adam Nice. Yeah. You're branded.

17:41🔗 Drew Did you go to the hospital?

17:42🔗 Ouch!

17:43🔗 Caller Well, it's just like surface and it's not like very, very tip. It's just like...

17:48🔗 Drew It's the skin.

17:49🔗 Caller The top. Yeah. The skin. Yeah. He's fine. It's like on the head.

17:52🔗 Drew Did it blister?

17:54🔗 Caller No. It has like a... It's not blistered yet, but you know how like a burn looks?

18:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:00🔗 Caller You've got that over it.

18:01🔗 Adam What are you doing in welding class? That's my real concern.

18:05🔗 Caller Well, learning to weld.

18:07🔗 Adam Hold on. Shocking. Let me get the scratch pad right out of here. You're learning to weld?

18:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:12🔗 Adam I see. Oh, welding is not some sort of acronym. It's actually welding. You just like welding, right?

18:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:21🔗 Adam Yeah, I see. You're learning to weld in welding class?

18:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Where do you take welding class?

18:27🔗 Caller At like city colleges.

18:29🔗 Adam I see. There's good money in that welding.

18:30🔗 Drew That's what you encouraged by the way, Adam.

18:32🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't trust guys who work around metal though, Richard. You know that?

18:35🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

18:36🔗 Adam I know. What kind of stuff? What are you learning with the welding? You're just doing gas?

18:41🔗 Caller Well, actually, I'm doing TIG right now.

18:43🔗 Adam Oh, TIG welding.

18:45🔗 Caller You can weld aluminum and all that stuff.

18:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Heliarc and TIG welding. It's a whole bunch of different kinds, you know.

18:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:51🔗 Adam Right, Richard.

18:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:52🔗 Adam Yeah. You got to wear one of those big leather smocks. You don't burn your Johnson.

18:57🔗 Caller Usually, with like TIG welding, it's so small and you know, there's a problem with.

19:02🔗 Drew You still got to do it.

19:03🔗 Adam Obviously, there is some danger involved with TIG welding because you welded your Johnson to the side of your leg. All right.

19:12🔗 Drew Oh, you shouldn't be smoking as much pot before you go welding.

19:15🔗 Adam Yeah. You know, the coolest part about being a welder is when they put the mask up for the welding shield and they never put it down with their hand. They flip their head a little bit, kind of like when I Dream of Jeannie would make her master disappear or something. They do that and it just flips down. You ever look through one of those things?

19:34🔗 Drew No.

19:34🔗 Adam You can't see. Welding is hard because you can't see through that mask unless you're welding.

19:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:41🔗 Adam But you can't start welding until the mask is down. Right. You can't do arc welding. You have to hold it like a certain distance to get a good arc going, to get a spark going, and you can't see what you're doing. It's not like those things aren't like sunglasses.

19:52🔗 Drew Yeah. They're thick, dark.

19:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:55🔗 Adam Those things are like looking through a 50-gallon drum full of oil and a flashlight on the other side. Like you can't see what the hell is going on.

20:04🔗 Caller Right.

20:04🔗 Drew Thank you. Richard?

20:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:06🔗 Drew Is that true?

20:08🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

20:08🔗 Drew How much pot do you smoke? Just to amuse me.

20:11🔗 Caller Not much.

20:12🔗 Drew Most days?

20:14🔗 Caller No. I'd say like once or twice a month.

20:16🔗 Drew Come on. Really? You were up higher than that at one point.

20:21🔗 Caller What?

20:21🔗 Drew You were up higher than that at one point.

20:22🔗 Caller No, never.

20:23🔗 Adam Really?

20:24🔗 Caller Really.

20:24🔗 Adam You married? You have kids?

20:26🔗 Caller No.

20:26🔗 Adam Okay, good. Stay that way.

20:28🔗 Drew What? I've never been so wrong.

20:30🔗 Adam He could just be stupid.

20:31🔗 Drew No, he had the laugh.

20:33🔗 Adam He did. Jay?

20:35🔗 Yes?

20:35🔗 Adam You're 25.

20:36🔗 Hi. I have a question for Dr. Drew.

20:39🔗 Adam Yeah, welders aren't pot smokers.

20:41🔗 Drew Sounded like it. That's why I was wondering.

20:42🔗 Adam Yeah, he did.

20:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:44🔗 Adam What's up?

20:44🔗 I know plenty that are.

20:46🔗 Adam Plenty of welders?

20:46🔗 Yeah, that are big-time potheads.

20:48🔗 Adam Oh, you know a lot of welders?

20:50🔗 Yeah.

20:50🔗 Adam That's a bad sign.

20:51🔗 I know. My question is for Dr. Drew.

20:53🔗 Drew Yeah, Jay?

20:56🔗 I began having sex when I was 12 years old with a 30-year-old man.

20:59🔗 Adam Yeah, welder.

21:00🔗 Drew That's not beginning to have sex. That's being raped, being sexually abused.

21:04🔗 Adam Well, he started your raping.

21:05🔗 Yeah. And I can remember when the first time we had sex, I didn't bleed, and I always thought that when you lose your virginity that you do bleed.

21:14🔗 Drew Not necessarily.

21:15🔗 Well, anyway, as I got older...

21:19🔗 Drew Also, it may be that you were... We would bet you had been sexually abused before that.

21:23🔗 I don't know. I can't remember. But as I got older, I did start having nightmares about having sex with my father. Yeah.

21:30🔗 Adam The welder?

21:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:33🔗 Adam Was he a welder?

21:34🔗 No.

21:35🔗 Caller What did he do?

21:36🔗 He does nothing.

21:38🔗 Adam Well, does a little bit of incest, right?

21:40🔗 I don't know. I don't remember anything. But I just, you know, over probably the last three years, I've had nightmares, you know, like weekly.

21:49🔗 Adam Was he an alcoholic?

21:50🔗 No. No drugs, no alcohol.

21:52🔗 Drew Why didn't he work?

21:53🔗 No.

21:53🔗 Drew Why didn't he work?

21:54🔗 He was disabled.

21:55🔗 Drew By what?

21:57🔗 He got injured when he was younger.

21:59🔗 Adam Oh, hold on. He was disabled. Let's do a little blind-brain answer.

22:04🔗 Drew He was disabled because he was disabled.

22:05🔗 Adam He was injured. And your father was blind? How did he become blind? Oh, he stopped seeing? I understand. Our callers are the only ones who answer a question with the answer that I already gave you. I mean, you know, it's already what they- he's disabled.

22:25🔗 Caller Why?

22:27🔗 Adam He was injured.

22:27🔗 Drew He's disabled.

22:28🔗 Caller He's disabled.

22:30🔗 Adam Yeah, he got hurt. Oh, okay.

22:32🔗 Drew Let's not abuse for a joke.

22:33🔗 Caller I know. You're right. You're right.

22:34🔗 Adam I mean, he did not come out of his mother in a wheelchair. He was actually injured at some point.

22:39🔗 He was injured when he was younger. I'm not really sure the whole story and I really don't care.

22:43🔗 Drew Well, hang on here.

22:44🔗 Adam Slow down.

22:44🔗 Drew Why are you so angry at your dad?

22:46🔗 I don't know. I've always felt that way toward him since I was probably, you know, maybe like 10, 12 years old.

22:51🔗 Drew All right. So something heavy was going on with your dad.

22:53🔗 Adam So what did he do? Did he just sort of putz around the house all day?

22:57🔗 Pretty much, yeah.

22:58🔗 Drew What was the nature of his disability?

23:01🔗 He had a back injury.

23:02🔗 Drew So he was on drugs?

23:04🔗 No, he was not.

23:04🔗 Drew He was not on pain medicine?

23:06🔗 No.

23:06🔗 Drew I don't buy it. Then why didn't it work?

23:09🔗 I don't know. I don't know the whole details of it, and I really just don't care.

23:12🔗 Adam Let me chime in and say one other thing about chicks and their dads. Don't know nothing. None of them. I've had girlfriends like, Yeah, my dad, he was on a... I think he was on a boat in Korea. Your dad was in the Navy, I think. What did he do? I don't know. He did something on the boat. You talk to the guy, it turns out he was a seal. He disarmed mines. You know, in the Mekong Delta. He was shot 14 times as a three pounds of shrapnel in him. We got four bronze stars and a purple heart, you know? And they're like, you asked the daughter, like what he did? He was like, he cooked. I think he cooked. I don't know. I don't know what he did. Girls never know what their dads do. It's weird. Even the unemployed dads are around the house all the time. He got hurt with something, something with his back. I don't know. He talked to people, his dads are like, you know, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. He does a thing. He's got an office. He goes, I think the company is called Bison, Beatrice. Yeah, could be it. Yeah. They make like spaghetti. I don't know. They own other companies. I know that. He's always out on business. He's got a jet. That's cool. Chicks never know, and especially if the guy did anything cool in war, they don't know. These guys, they must be rolling over. Think about how their Navy SEAL status gets diminished to like boats and mate or something and some laundry ship.

24:48🔗 Caller All right.

24:50🔗 Adam So Jay.

24:51🔗 Yeah.

24:51🔗 Drew So is it possible, I mean, it doesn't make sense that he would be disabled unless he had chronic pain. If he had chronic pain, that means he was on chronic drugs.

25:00🔗 I don't remember him ever being on any pain medicine.

25:02🔗 Adam Yeah, but you wouldn't.

25:03🔗 I really don't remember anything from before like probably eight years old.

25:07🔗 Adam Okay. But if you don't remember it, but you don't remember anything, then that doesn't really mean anything.

25:13🔗 Right. That's my point. I don't know if he was on any drugs because I don't remember.

25:17🔗 Drew You didn't see him drink though or smoke pot or anything.

25:19🔗 He's absolutely like no alcohol. It's like the worst thing in the world.

25:22🔗 Drew Because why?

25:24🔗 I don't know. That's just his thing. He's like, you know.

25:26🔗 Drew Because he had parents who were alcoholics?

25:29🔗 I think his mom was an alcoholic.

25:30🔗 Drew Okay. There you go. This fits an opiate addict.

25:34🔗 Adam You know your grandparents?

25:35🔗 Yeah, I did.

25:37🔗 Drew Was she out of control alcoholic?

25:39🔗 Excuse me?

25:39🔗 Drew Was she an out of control alcoholic?

25:41🔗 No. She like got it all, you know, taken care of when she got older.

25:45🔗 Drew Okay.

25:46🔗 And she quit drinking and all that. But my question is, I mean, I don't know. I just feel like I kind of grew up and started becoming sexually active at a very young age.

25:56🔗 Drew You didn't become sexually active. You were raped. You were sexually abused. You were victimized. So you were a victim prior to that, we would predict.

26:02🔗 Adam All right. But in her mind, she went along with it.

26:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:05🔗 Adam And so I was becoming sexually active.

26:07🔗 No. And I was completely, I can remember before that, I was very curious in the whole nine about sex and everything when I was, you know, like 10 years old.

26:16🔗 Adam Jay, you married?

26:17🔗 Yeah.

26:17🔗 Adam How's that going?

26:18🔗 It's tough because ever since I started having these nightmares, it becomes like difficult for me to have a sexual relationship with my husband.

26:27🔗 Adam You have any kids?

26:27🔗 No.

26:28🔗 Adam Oh, good girl.

26:29🔗 Drew How long have you been married?

26:29🔗 Adam Something wrong with his sperm or something?

26:31🔗 No, I don't want to have kids because I'm not ready.

26:34🔗 Adam That's good. First same thing I've heard all night.

26:37🔗 Drew How long have you been married?

26:39🔗 For seven years.

26:41🔗 Drew Since you were 18, how old is he?

26:42🔗 He's 29.

26:44🔗 Adam All right. Jay, how about just starting off a little therapy?

26:49🔗 Drew Plain old street.

26:49🔗 I've been to counseling since I was 15.

26:52🔗 Adam Really?

26:52🔗 Drew Same therapist? Excuse me? Same therapist?

26:56🔗 No. I've bounced around from a couple. But I just seem to get nowhere.

27:00🔗 Drew Well, maybe you're ready now.

27:01🔗 Adam How long ago was that?

27:02🔗 The last time I was in counseling was about two years ago.

27:05🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe it's time again.

27:07🔗 Drew Maybe you're ready.

27:07🔗 Adam Find a good person who may settle in.

27:10🔗 So, I mean, my question is, is this something I should really be concerned about?

27:13🔗 Drew Yes.

27:13🔗 Because nightmares, I mean, are they natural? Does this happen to lots of people or?

27:16🔗 Adam To everybody. Even Drew.

27:18🔗 Drew The whole situa- no, people do not get nightmares like that typically. It doesn't necessarily mean you were sexually abused, but the very fact that you can't remember anything about your childhood, the fact that you're victimized, the fact that dad were speculating may have been on drugs. All that adds up to a nice long course of therapy with somebody you stay with for a long time.

27:34🔗 Adam Isn't it true you recently started having nightmares about your father coming in your room and raping your piggy bank? He was shaking that sparklet's bottle jug that you kept your nickels in. That's something you pushed out of your mind for a lot of years.

27:48🔗 Drew Please don't bring that up.

27:49🔗 Adam Okay. Sorry, brother.

27:50🔗 Drew I got to make it through the evening.

27:51🔗 Adam We'll be back.

27:54🔗 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

27:55🔗 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

28:36🔗 Adam Hey, hey, it's the Loveline, everybody. Phone number for Loveline. Turn me back up, Lee. Phone number for Loveline. 1-800-LLV-E191. That is Dr. Drew over there on lead chocolate. Got a big box of seized candies.

28:56🔗 Drew Where's her letter? Here.

28:57🔗 Adam Oh, from this person, from Kara Sulter. Really?

29:02🔗 Drew Let me see if you pronounce that right.

29:04🔗 Adam Yeah. I didn't read the letter.

29:06🔗 Drew Kara Sulter. Nicest letter we've ever received, I'd say.

29:08🔗 Adam Really? Really? Yeah. She sent the chocolates too?

29:12🔗 Drew And the porn.

29:13🔗 Adam Oh, and the porn tape? Jeez, I took a bite out of that thing earlier. It's horrible. What does the letter say, Drew? Well, don't read the whole letter. It's a good letter, though.

29:23🔗 Drew Very clear, very nice.

29:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, a lot of you out there who figure this stuff doesn't make a difference, once in a while we do get a nice letter. I really enjoy it. It really makes my night.

29:34🔗 Drew Especially when they're smart like this.

29:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Concise, well-written, great punctuation. It's beautiful. Did you read it? No, I didn't read it. But Drew says it was good, so I take his word for it. I'm going to read it during the commercial. But here's the deal. I always figured when I got in this business, I'd be showered with fan mail. Turns out I was wrong. I don't see anything, ever.

29:55🔗 Drew You may be getting it. They didn't let you see it.

29:57🔗 Adam Whatever the case is, thank you, Ann. I assume-

30:01🔗 Drew As can, for radio.

30:02🔗 Adam I'll forget it. I assume I don't get it. Here's my point. I see three nice letters a year.

30:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:09🔗 Adam I don't have any correspondence with anybody. I don't trade email with anybody. There's never any fans waiting in the parking lot when the show is over, at least once I want to talk to us. So really, as it turns out, not as much praise as I thought.

30:22🔗 Drew Kiss my ass, Adam.

30:23🔗 Adam There you go. And the celebrities that come in here, they're downright abusive. So it is nice to get a nice letter every once in a while. John?

30:30🔗 Caller Yeah, what's going on?

30:32🔗 Adam You're 19. What's up?

30:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:34🔗 Caller I've been doing a lot of ecstasy and going to raves lately. And like, I don't know, it's like really been, I want to know like what the side effects are and stuff.

30:43🔗 Drew Well, you can have panic and anxiety and depression the rest of your life.

30:48🔗 Caller Well, like for the rest of your life.

30:50🔗 Drew The rest of your life.

30:51🔗 Caller Like if I stop it right now and I never do it again.

30:53🔗 Drew You can have it the rest of your life. In fact, some of these things don't even start for another five years.

30:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:57🔗 Drew And memory problems is the other big thing. And now the memory stuff has been more documented with speed. But of course, some of the stuff they're selling you as E is actually speed. But there appears to be damage to the part of the brain that's responsible for memory as well.

31:11🔗 Caller Yeah, but it's like sometimes.

31:13🔗 Adam Why does speed hurt your memory?

31:14🔗 Drew They don't, it's just this area, limbic area, region that they're correlating with the damage of that area with the memory problems. It fits with the anatomy of how memory works. Where they see the damage occurring.

31:27🔗 Adam Let me tell you about that memory. Don't think about it that much when you're younger. Oh, man, do you miss it when you get older.

31:32🔗 Drew Are you already having problems?

31:34🔗 Adam I don't know. I have my days, you know. I'm like a mad scientist one day and like a retarded hobo the next day. Can't figure it out. I bring, I pull stuff out of my ass that no one seems to know about and I'm amazing. What reminds me of what? And then there's days of difficulty coming up with names. I can't find my wallet.

31:55🔗 Drew Can't find my mom's name.

31:56🔗 Adam Oh, her. I forgot her name a long time ago.

31:58🔗 Drew But it's new learning that's the problem. The way you get kids, you see how quickly they learn. My kids come up with poems like this long every night.

32:04🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:05🔗 Drew They read it and they go, okay, I'll say it now.

32:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Not my kids. My kids are going to be retards. That's why I'm going to adopt Japanese kids. I want smart kids. I want them to do good in school.

32:14🔗 Drew But John, there's great, great concern about it.

32:16🔗 Adam Getting education like I never had.

32:17🔗 Drew Of all the drugs people use, LSD and ecstasy are the ones that are well documented to cause really significant injury to the brain. And the NIH is going out in a big campaign to try to help people understand that. Right. It's a bad thing.

32:30🔗 Adam All right, John. Stop that stuff.

32:32🔗 Caller All right.

32:33🔗 Adam You're going to smoke a little weed once in a while, but that's about it.

32:36🔗 Caller All right. All right, man.

32:37🔗 Drew Good times.

32:38🔗 Adam That's what I tell my kids. Listen, don't be like your father. I barely completed high school, and look at me. I'm barely, literally a millionaire.

32:46🔗 Caller Whatever.

32:49🔗 Adam Mike?

32:50🔗 Caller Yeah?

32:50🔗 Adam You're 17.

32:51🔗 Caller Hey, long time listener, first time caller.

32:53🔗 Adam Good times.

32:54🔗 Caller Yeah, good times. A little twist on a call from before. Instead of pus coming out of my penis, it's blood.

33:01🔗 Adam Nice.

33:01🔗 Drew During urination or during ejaculation?

33:05🔗 Caller Yeah, it was ejaculation.

33:06🔗 Drew Just one time?

33:07🔗 Caller What?

33:08🔗 Drew Just one time?

33:08🔗 Caller Just one time.

33:09🔗 I haven't done it since.

33:10🔗 Drew It's a pretty common thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything disastrous. It's infection usually.

33:15🔗 Adam That's bad times when the blood mixes with the semen, and you get that Thousand Island on your belly.

33:22🔗 Caller Yeah, bad times.

33:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

33:23🔗 Drew It's quite a mess.

33:24🔗 Adam Yeah, that ain't right. It's like you're eating a burger over yourself.

33:30🔗 Caller But I just wanted to say, should I talk to my doctor?

33:31🔗 Drew Yeah, you should, because sometimes infections cause this and it should be treated, but it's usually not anything dangerous, but it needs to be checked out.

33:38🔗 Caller Thanks for it, guys.

33:39🔗 Adam All right, easy on the Johnson, huh?

33:41🔗 Caller All right.

33:41🔗 Adam There you go.

33:42🔗 Drew It's the Jizz, not the Johnson. That's the problem here.

33:44🔗 Adam The Jizz, not the Johnson? They feuded for many years, like the Hatfields and the McCoys, the Jismans and the Johnsons. Karen?

33:53🔗 Guest Yeah.

33:53🔗 Adam You're 30?

33:54🔗 Drew The Jizz, Gus Link?

33:56🔗 Guest Thank you.

33:56🔗 Adam You're 30. What's up?

33:57🔗 Guest I'm 32. My father, he was sober 20 years ago. He got sober.

34:06🔗 Drew Wow.

34:08🔗 Guest Fell off the wagon about 12 years ago.

34:10🔗 Caller Okay.

34:11🔗 Guest He's got 15 lifetime DUIs.

34:15🔗 Adam What is a lifetime DUI?

34:17🔗 Drew In his life, he said.

34:18🔗 In his life, he said 15 DUIs.

34:20🔗 Adam So you could just say 15 DUIs.

34:22🔗 Guest He's been in sober living. And he's gone through a program locally.

34:30🔗 Drew So he maintains sobriety for long periods of time.

34:33🔗 Guest Yeah.

34:33🔗 Drew And how long was he sober this time?

34:38🔗 Guest A couple months here and there.

34:39🔗 Drew Oh, so he's been slipping and sliding for a long time.

34:41🔗 Guest He's a closet guy.

34:43🔗 Adam Hey, let me tell you something about DUI and drunk driving. Each year, there was like 18,000 people killed.

34:52🔗 Guest You know what? You don't have to preach to me. I preach to him.

34:55🔗 Adam Well, I'm talking to everyone else.

34:57🔗 Guest Oh, I'm sorry.

34:58🔗 Adam That's all right. And alcohol-related traffic. 18,000. But you want to know the real tragedy? 53,000 died from second-hand smoke. So three times as many. Three times as many from second-hand smoke. So let's not worry so much about the DUIs. That's what I'm saying. Not a real big problem, not compared to second-hand smoke. Apparently, one-third.

35:21🔗 Guest I don't know.

35:21🔗 Drew Where did you read that?

35:23🔗 Adam Well, I always hear the commercial on the ride-in that 54,000 people die from second-hand smoke every year. And I was just watching someone from Mothers Against Drunk Driving saying that 18,000 people died on the highways each year from drunk driving or related to drunk driving, hit while they're crossing the streets over. Yeah. So, pales in comparison, doesn't it? Not a big problem. As soon as we get to second-hand smoke under control, we can focus on the DUIs. But go ahead, Karen.

35:50🔗 Guest Sorry.

35:50🔗 Drew So, he's been slipping and sliding for a while.

35:52🔗 Guest He's been slipping and sliding for a while.

35:54🔗 Caller We've taken a car away.

35:56🔗 Guest We've bought a car. We've given it back. We've gone back and forth. Last week, my mom had surgery. He wasn't supposed to drive during that week. He got the keys to the car from one of the guys at Sober Living. He went and visited her for about 20 minutes, took the car, crashed it, got thrown in jail, got out of jail, took her car the next morning, got a bottle, went back to Sober Living, got kicked out. He is now living in the backyard.

36:23🔗 Adam Of Sober Living?

36:24🔗 Guest No.

36:25🔗 Adam You mean you can't drink in Sober Living anymore?

36:27🔗 Guest No, you can't.

36:28🔗 Adam Back in the day, you used to be able to bring in a bottle or something. I mean, if it was cool, you'd pass it around.

36:33🔗 Drew It was a joint.

36:34🔗 Adam Oh, it was a joint. Yeah, all right. You bring a joint to Sober Living, though, right? No. Okay, so he's living in your backyard?

36:40🔗 Guest No, my mom's. I live next door. I've changed the locks and my mom hasn't come home. She's left the hospital and gone somewhere else.

36:47🔗 Drew Good. All good.

36:48🔗 Guest And is he filing for divorce?

36:50🔗 Drew Good.

36:51🔗 Adam And what's he doing in the backyard? Is he got a tent pitched or a patio? He's just living under the patio?

36:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:59🔗 Adam You all right, baby? Oh, boy. Here's a good question. What about you?

37:06🔗 Drew You got you going down on?

37:09🔗 Guest Karen, I don't like those meetings.

37:11🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, listen, you're like him.

37:14🔗 Guest No.

37:15🔗 Drew No. He doesn't like the meetings either.

37:17🔗 Guest No, he does the meetings. He does six, seven. He's done your meetings. Oh, boy. He does meetings.

37:23🔗 Adam Hey, listen, Karen, what meetings you have? Is that at Drew's house or?

37:26🔗 Drew No, it's possible.

37:27🔗 Guest No, you do speaker meetings.

37:29🔗 Drew Yeah.

37:29🔗 Adam Hey, Karen, listen to me for a second, all right? I'm sorry I have to say this to you. Your dad may be drunk until he dies. You don't know that. You don't have control over it. You got to take care of yourself and do... That's Drew's wife, Paige, she's going to yell at him for having a meeting.

37:45🔗 Guest That's really what I think.

37:46🔗 Adam Okay, listen to me. You got to take care of you.

37:50🔗 Drew You got to get a sponsor. You got to get an Al-Anon sponsor. Or a therapist.

37:53🔗 Adam You have to. You got to get some therapy. You got to go to Al-Anon. And if he wants to drink himself to death, that's his thing.

38:00🔗 Guest Do you recommend a professional intervention?

38:03🔗 Drew Uh, no.

38:04🔗 Adam I don't think it would work on this guy, because he just keeps coming back.

38:07🔗 Drew Right. You need to create the force of God. You need to induce such a bottom that he is begging God for help to get better and willing to do whatever he's got to do to get better. He's still not really accepting treatment, it seems to me.

38:20🔗 Guest I know he's not hit bottom yet.

38:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:22🔗 Where the hell is bottom?

38:23🔗 Drew I don't know. I suspect it's in jail.

38:26🔗 Adam It's pretty close to your mom's porch, though, isn't it?

38:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:29🔗 Adam I mean, the patio.

38:30🔗 Drew That's why you have to go to Al-Anon, Karen, because you're not going to be able to tolerate letting him fall to the level he's got to go to in order to survive this.

38:39🔗 Adam Okay. But listen, there's some people out there that can't make it right, that fall off, that, I mean, alcohol does kill X amount of people.

38:49🔗 Drew Well, some people also, they get so impaired, their brain function is so off.

38:53🔗 Adam Whatever it is. Here's my point. She's 32 years old. She got to take care of herself. And that's it. And that'll help him anyway.

39:02🔗 Drew And keep her on, keep Anne, keep six on hold for me, please. Ask her to stay there.

39:06🔗 Adam And let me just put a little shout out to any of my family members who are thinking about dabbling with the booze. I'll have a drifter kill you, so help me God you start causing troubles like this. Do you know what I'm saying?

39:17🔗 Drew I hear you.

39:18🔗 Adam I won't even get into it. Screw Alana. I'm not going to that. I'll hire a hobo to put a bullet in your head.

39:23🔗 Drew You won't have any problem detaching with love, huh? I see it in you now.

39:28🔗 Adam Listen, if anyone in my family decided to become an alcoholic, I'll go buy them a case of crevasse and drop it off at their house in a pistol. Go home and sleep like a baby. You don't have a problem with that statement at all, Drew?

39:41🔗 Drew I'm just listening. I just figure what... You've been a little bit of a... You've been irritable lately, so...

39:46🔗 Adam I know. I really just said that because I know my grandma is going to yell at me when I see her next. I want to know what's going on with that statement, so I just said it to get her dander up. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, who are we going to talk to, Drew? We're going to talk to Amy's 21, hasn't had her period in four months. She's not pregnant. She wants to know what the hell is going on out there. I'll tell her what happened to her after this.

40:47🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, he's high. Oh, yeah, who doggie.

41:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that'd be Dr. Drew over there. Ready to get back on the phones and everything?

41:09🔗 Caller Oh no.

41:10🔗 Adam Amy?

41:11🔗 Caller Hello.

41:14🔗 Adam Hi. You're 21. Good, couldn't be better.

41:17🔗 Guest I just want to thank you guys for taking the time to talk to me. Okay, this is my question.

41:26🔗 Drew By the way, that was such a nice intro. You know what I mean? She appreciates the connection.

41:31🔗 Adam Thank you.

41:32🔗 Drew As opposed to, Adam, you're the funniest guy, I'm building a shrine to you.

41:36🔗 Adam Hey, what's wrong with that?

41:38🔗 Drew Anyway, what's going on?

41:40🔗 Guest Okay, it's been like, ever since I've gotten my period, I've been irregular with my period.

41:46🔗 Drew Irregular?

41:47🔗 Guest Irregular, yeah. But the longest I had been without a period was like two months because during high school, I used to run. I was very active and whatnot. But anyways, it's been like four months that I haven't gotten my period. And lately, I've been working a lot, like seven days a week. And I've gone to take three pregnancy tests and they're negative. And they told me that it could either be a uterine infection or it's just that I'm overworked. But so I'm like, okay, you know, it's either a uterine infection or I'm overworked. So what the hell is it, you know? So I'm just like wondering what it could be.

42:24🔗 Drew Do you have other symptoms?

42:26🔗 Guest No. Well, I mean, I'm tired. I mean, that's about it. But.

42:29🔗 Drew Are you on a medication? You don't take the pill or anything like that?

42:33🔗 Guest No. I wanted to. The reason I was going like I went to a clinic and I was trying to get birth control, but they told me that it couldn't. But I couldn't. They had to wait for my period. And then I was on the depot shot like about a year ago, but they said it couldn't affect it anymore. That the most it could go on affecting my body, like my period would be six months.

42:54🔗 Drew That would be usually the case. Did you ever have ovarian cysts?

42:57🔗 Guest No, nothing, nothing.

42:59🔗 Drew Are you overweight or underweight?

43:02🔗 Guest No, I think I'm pretty OK for my height. I'm 5'6.5, and I weigh 145, 150.

43:08🔗 Drew You're overweight.

43:09🔗 Adam Oh, hold on. Let me do a little radio math here. What did you say? 5'6.5?

43:14🔗 Drew 145.

43:15🔗 Adam 145, 150. All right. Hold on. A little radio math here. 5'6.5, 145, 150.

43:24🔗 5'6, 150.

43:28🔗 Adam 145, 150.

43:29🔗 Drew You're fat.

43:31🔗 Adam Oh, OK. 5'4.25. 157, 165.

43:40🔗 Caller That's where it goes.

43:42🔗 Adam OK, so a little bit overweight. Is that 4?

43:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:46🔗 Guest Hello?

43:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:47🔗 Guest Hello, yes.

43:49🔗 Drew OK. Well, again, just stress, overwork, sleep disturbances, all this can affect your period. And if you're already irregular, you'd be one of the people to be prone to that. So that is a possibility. Uterine infection, I don't understand quite why they jump to that.

44:04🔗 Guest They said that. I was like, well, OK. It's like either it's nothing or it's something, you know? So I was just worried about that. And I've been I mean, I've been trying to go. I went back and they're like, just wait. You can wait up to six more months for your period. And I'm like, well, isn't that like bad that I have to wait six more months?

44:24🔗 Drew I mean, I don't understand why they wouldn't put you on the pill.

44:27🔗 Guest Yeah. I know they said they have to wait for my period because they don't have any.

44:32🔗 Drew Did you see a doctor?

44:34🔗 Guest No, I went to the clinic.

44:35🔗 Drew Why don't you see a doctor about this? It's significant.

44:38🔗 Adam She can't afford a doctor.

44:39🔗 Drew Well, let me go to a clinic that way she can see a doctor.

44:42🔗 Adam They have doctors at those clinics?

44:44🔗 Drew Sure.

44:45🔗 Caller I think they're only angry lesbians who have a nursing credential or something.

44:50🔗 Drew Thyroid problems, it could be. I mean, the most common reason is what's called hypothalamic pituitary access dysfunction, which is the overwork stress thing she's talking about. There's lots and lots of different reasons that this can happen.

45:01🔗 Adam You know my feeling, but everyone in this country deserves the best medical care in the world even if they don't pay for it or pay any taxes.

45:08🔗 Drew Was it you or your mom?

45:09🔗 Adam As my mom, actually. That's right. In Canada, oh, Christ.

45:17🔗 Drew The system is falling apart completely.

45:18🔗 Adam Why don't you and Zorback and Happy pile into that microbus and head over the border? I'm sure this country would be a better place. I really do. Listen, all the people that are currently on welfare and complaining about the health care system and what a glorious place it is in Canada, adios. Have fun. Randy?

45:39🔗 That's me.

45:40🔗 Adam You're 24?

45:41🔗 Caller Yep.

45:42🔗 Adam What's up?

45:43🔗 Caller Well, I listened to you guys. Long time listener, first time caller.

45:46🔗 Yeah.

45:47🔗 Caller Excuse me, I'm a little nervous. All right. And I do appreciate you guys. I think you guys are great. I'd like to vote for you guys for office someday.

45:56🔗 Adam Thank you.

45:57🔗 Caller Dick, Dr. Drew is the Surgeon General. Adam, we'd give you some job that's high profile, but pretty useful if like the president, maybe.

46:06🔗 Adam Yeah. I'd like to do a lot of touring, a lot of traveling, a lot of glad handing and stuff like that, but no actual paperwork.

46:16🔗 Caller Yeah, that would work. Anyhow, the reason I'm calling is because I listen a lot and I hear you guys often refer people to AA and NA. And I believe that AA and NA think they have a monopoly on recovery.

46:32🔗 Drew Oh, who else you got? You got a rational recovery?

46:35🔗 Caller No. They have a monopoly on the recovery business. If you're going to get sober, you have to go through...

46:40🔗 Drew No, hold on. But there's rational recovery. That's another way to go.

46:44🔗 Adam Well, what is that?

46:45🔗 Caller I know about rational recovery. It just seems to me that when you were talking to the girl a few moments ago, you said, You and Alanon, this is where you have to go.

46:55🔗 Adam Right. Well, where should she go?

46:57🔗 Caller Well, I'm just saying that there's a lot of cutting edge recovery out there.

47:01🔗 Drew A lot of what?

47:02🔗 Caller Cutting edge recovery.

47:04🔗 Drew What's it called?

47:05🔗 Caller Like SMART, like RR, rational recovery.

47:10🔗 Drew Rational recovery done well ends up being just like 12 step.

47:12🔗 Adam Hey, Randy. Yeah. Wasn't Drew talking about RR for the last 15 minutes and you weren't really acknowledging it at all?

47:19🔗 Caller I was probably running around trying to get on the phone with you guys.

47:22🔗 Adam No, I mean, he was saying to you like R and R, like rational recovery, and you just kept talking like you'd never heard of it.

47:28🔗 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

47:30🔗 Adam You're nervous?

47:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:31🔗 Adam All right.

47:32🔗 Caller I don't mind.

47:32🔗 Adam Okay. So there's rational recovery and there's other ones. Okay. But anything, whatever's nearest to you and free is what you should be doing, right?

47:41🔗 Caller Um, I guess I went through AA and I went through NA and they helped me out. And I think that the guys that created those discovered oil and oil is a great substance. But we run machines on a lot of other things today that are better, like solar power, etc. And I think-

48:01🔗 Adam Are we talking about farm equipment or are we talking about recovery?

48:03🔗 Caller I'm talking about recovery.

48:04🔗 Adam Geez, that was as bad as one of my metaphors. Maybe worse. All right. But hold on a second, Randy. Here's my point. These guys aren't getting rich off CA and MA and AA. I mean, how much money did it cost you to go to MA and AA?

48:18🔗 Caller It didn't cost me anything, of course.

48:20🔗 Adam Okay. Well, then what's your beef?

48:22🔗 Caller The beef is that they think and the American recovery system thinks that the only way to get sober is to go to AA. And they send everybody to AA.

48:34🔗 Drew So what do you suggest? I'm open to other suggestions. What are you suggesting then?

48:37🔗 Caller Okay. I'm just saying that we need to promote this other stuff that's going out there, like...

48:44🔗 Adam Like the ones you don't want to say the name of?

48:46🔗 Caller Okay. At the University of... At UPenn, there's a doctor by the name of...

48:52🔗 Adam Hold on. Randy, are you high now?

48:54🔗 Caller No, I'm not.

48:54🔗 Adam You sure?

48:55🔗 Caller I'm certain.

48:56🔗 Adam Are you sure?

48:57🔗 Caller I'm so certain. I've just been listening to this show forever and always thought about falling...

49:02🔗 Adam Okay. Now listen, we're running late for break. Now listen, I don't care is my point. And not... There's a guy who works in Pennsylvania and half our callers are from Arizona and California, you know. They can't go to Pennsylvania. Here's what I want everyone to do. Whatever's closest, whatever's the most convenient, whatever's cheapest, go. If it's a church up the street that does R&R, fine. If it's AA, great. Whatever it is. Just get sober. We'll be back. Hey, it's Loveline, taking America by storm.

50:18🔗 Drew Anderson's impressed.

50:20🔗 Adam Anderson knows good radio when he hears it, and he hears it about once a month doing this show, and that was it. Enjoy that three and a half seconds, Anderson. That's it, baby. That's radio. But let me tell you, that's why I got a radio right there. You know the tough part about this job, Drew?

50:40🔗 Drew Nothing.

50:41🔗 Adam Don't get to say the time or the call letters. You don't get to do local spots for furniture stores and things like that. I miss that whole part of radio.

50:51🔗 Drew I don't.

50:52🔗 Adam Here's what I'm saying, everybody. We're a syndicated show, so we don't do any local spots and we don't do any appearances and we don't have to give the call letters out. We don't have to do all that good stuff that your local DJ gets to do. I never got to do that stuff.

51:08🔗 Drew Ace Rockolla can do it. There you go. Here's the interesting facts. If Adam lives in Hollywood and Drew lives in Pasadena, why don't you broadcast from Burbank? Wouldn't that make more sense?

51:19🔗 Caller Oh my God.

51:20🔗 Adam Some genius. Yeah. Well, we're moving back to the K-Rock home base in Burbank. Oh, yes.

51:26🔗 Drew Wait a minute. That was last year and that was the year before.

51:29🔗 Adam Scott Mason is on that and he's the genius behind K-Rock over there. As soon as he's done remodeling that jock kitchen, okay, that he's been working on for 11 years, as soon as he's done with that, let me tell you something about him remodeling that jock kitchen. I go into K-Rock about every two years I go in there and I walk into that kitchen and laugh hysterically each time because he's been remodeling that jock lounge for since three years before I got there. And so far the only thing that's been done is I think he pulled a Green Day sticker off the Pepsi machine. And so that's the only thing that's different. Maybe he didn't do that. I'm not sure. It seems like they got started on it. Other than that, just a bunch of newspapers piled up on a bunch of Doc's coffee mugs. So you know it's funny. When they talk about doing something on this show, like hey, we're moving you guys to Burbank. We're going over here. We're doing over there. We're doing this. We're doing that. We just all look at each other and start laughing. Like, oh, that don't ever happen. It's kind of thing where it's like, yeah, we'll be dead by the time that goes on. It's funny, like most jobs, like if they went, hey, we're going to be moving to a new location pretty soon, you'd be like, oh, I got to pick out a route. I may think about getting a condo across town and move in there. I got to talk to my insurance agent because I told them I only drive six miles a day to work back and forth. It's going to change things. Not this job. They talk about moving four years ago. Any day now though? Any day now. I'm ready to go. They make a very valid point. Mike?

53:03🔗 Yeah?

53:04🔗 Adam As soon as that jock lounge is done. This is next on Mason's List. You know what I'm saying?

53:09🔗 Yeah.

53:10🔗 Adam Actually, let me tell you, you've syndicated people. Don't know if Scott Mason is. The guy's a real joy.

53:16🔗 Yeah.

53:17🔗 Drew He used to do this show.

53:19🔗 Adam He used to do this show 15 years ago. Here's what Scott Mason's List says. Remodel jock lounge, get new left hip, and fourth pager, and then move Loveline. I think is how it goes. Come on.

53:32🔗 Drew You're cruel.

53:36🔗 Adam Mike? He never liked me ever since I said his girlfriend looked like the chick that got raped in Billy Jack. That was the end of our relationship, me and Scott Mason. All right, Mike. What's up?

53:48🔗 Yeah, I ate my girlfriend out, and now all of a sudden, the day, like the same evening, she's swollen up, and she's red down the area.

53:56🔗 Drew Same evening?

53:57🔗 Same evening.

53:57🔗 Drew You weren't having any, like, cold sores or anything?

54:00🔗 Uh-uh. No. I was perfectly fine. And how is she now? We did it the night before, and she wanted it again the next morning. Like, next afternoon.

54:09🔗 Adam She wanted it again the next morning?

54:11🔗 Yeah.

54:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

54:11🔗 Drew How does that work?

54:13🔗 And that evening, when we did it the second time, she got all swollen. And we went to, like, a friend of hers that's, like, a nurse, I think. I don't really know her. And she said that it's from, like, her being so wet, like, it's swollen up, because it's, like, inside of her. She said it's, like, the Libya. It's, like, infected.

54:31🔗 Drew Yeah. It's not making sense.

54:33🔗 Adam Libya is a terrorist country. We don't deal with them.

54:36🔗 Oh, yeah.

54:37🔗 Drew It's the Tripoli that's really the problem.

54:39🔗 Adam Tripoli's in Libya, right? Is that Muammar Gaddafi from Libya?

54:43🔗 Yeah.

54:44🔗 Adam Did he go down on your girlfriend?

54:45🔗 Uh, I don't think so.

54:47🔗 Adam All right. You're thinking of Libya?

54:49🔗 Yeah, maybe. Something like that.

54:51🔗 Drew All right. Listen, Mike.

54:52🔗 Adam You know what my radio name was when I was working many years ago doing Mornings in Phoenix?

54:57🔗 I don't know.

54:58🔗 Adam Dusty Labia. I just called myself. It was a little mispronounced mispronunciation on Libya, but it worked. It was just enough.

55:05🔗 Drew Mike, there's... it doesn't quite all make sense. I mean, maybe she just got irritated, developed a vaginitis, but it needs to be checked out by Dr. How old is she?

55:13🔗 She's 16.

55:14🔗 Drew Yeah, it's not making sense. I don't know who she saw, but she did... whoever she saw...

55:19🔗 She hasn't really seen anyone.

55:20🔗 Drew All right, she needs to see someone. I doubt that it's like a herpes you've transmitted to her. It's probably just a local vaginal infection.

55:27🔗 Adam All right.

55:27🔗 Drew Anything that upsets that balance in there, that flora and fauna can cause a proliferation.

55:34🔗 Adam I'm guessing it's this bad teenage mustache that may have caused a little irritation down in...

55:38🔗 Drew Good thinking.

55:40🔗 Adam Down in Libya there. Pat?

55:43🔗 Yep.

55:44🔗 Adam You're 28?

55:45🔗 Yeah.

55:45🔗 Adam What's up?

55:48🔗 You know, I've been listening to you guys for a while. And I hear you guys talk about all these girls that hook up with the abusers and that kind of stuff. I think I'm one of those guys.

55:56🔗 Adam Yeah?

55:57🔗 Drew What do you do?

55:58🔗 What's that?

55:58🔗 Drew What do you do to them?

55:59🔗 Just kind of manipulative and verbally abusive. And it's just weird because she fits all the telltale signs on that end.

56:12🔗 Drew Is it the same woman you're this way with?

56:14🔗 Adam Who's she?

56:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

56:15🔗 Yeah. My girlfriend.

56:16🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

56:17🔗 Drew So she's a victim and you're a victimizer. Yeah.

56:20🔗 But I've never been that way with anyone else.

56:23🔗 Drew She brings that out on you, huh? There is something to that by the way.

56:26🔗 Adam There is.

56:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

56:27🔗 Adam Which is they are used to being treated a certain way.

56:32🔗 Drew And they picked you.

56:33🔗 Adam And they picked you.

56:33🔗 Drew Because you got that potential.

56:35🔗 Adam And they're going to get it out of you.

56:36🔗 But why would I have that potential?

56:39🔗 Drew Well, lots of reasons.

56:40🔗 Adam Well, let me ask you. Let me say this.

56:43🔗 Okay.

56:44🔗 Adam Many guys have this potential. I mean, many guys have the potential to kill another man if they're drunk and if the guy pulls a knife on them or something or if they're provoked. I mean, you have the potential to do a lot of bad things. You just hopefully don't get in a situation where you get to realize that potential. Right. And there's a lot of guys who are capable, I'm not saying of beating the crap out of a woman, but I'm talking about being verbally abusive or blowing up or having a rageful type relationship with them and you just may be one of those many. And now you guys, she's a, you got the brand new pair of roller skates and she's got the brand new key. That's what it is.

57:29🔗 Drew He doesn't understand that reference, but I do.

57:31🔗 Adam Thank you, Drew.

57:31🔗 Drew That's what I was still living.

57:33🔗 Adam You got a brand new pair of inline skates and she's got some wrist braces.

57:39🔗 Drew Well, what have you done to her?

57:43🔗 Just really verbally abusive stuff, just real manipulative.

57:52🔗 Adam What happened to her growing up?

57:54🔗 She was molested by her dad.

57:57🔗 Adam Well, I think you need to do, Pat, and this is what everyone needs to do in whatever they're doing. See if they can get outside yourself a little, stand next to yourself a little, sort of like that Christmas story, ghost of Christmas past kind of thing, float over yourself a little bit. The next time she starts provoking you and you start getting abusive, just look down at yourself and see what you're doing. Get outside yourself a little bit and then stop yourself. I mean, that's all maturity is and enlightenment is in progression. That's all that is. All the stuff you used to do, you don't do as much of it. You're not as easily provoked. You don't get drawn down the same paths you got drawn down so easily in the past. Just see if you can get outside yourself. I mean, you're calling, you're telling us what you're doing.

58:47🔗 Drew He's not that abusive because he can kind of see that things aren't right.

58:50🔗 Adam Right.

58:51🔗 Drew I bet he's the caretaker type, the fix-it type.

58:54🔗 Adam You're the fix-it type, Pat?

58:56🔗 All right.

58:57🔗 Drew You had an alcoholic parent?

58:58🔗 No.

58:58🔗 Drew Or a sick parent or something you had to take care of? Were you the oldest in the family?

59:03🔗 Nope.

59:04🔗 Drew Where did you become such a caretaker?

59:06🔗 Caller I don't know.

59:08🔗 Drew Interesting.

59:08🔗 See, the thing is I've done what I thought was best. I go to counseling.

59:13🔗 Drew Good.

59:14🔗 Got involved in that kind of stuff, but now I can't convince her to do her end.

59:18🔗 Drew Well, then that might be the end of the relationship.

59:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:20🔗 Pat. But then that whole caretaker thing comes in.

59:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, you have enough counseling to get out of this now.

59:27🔗 Drew Here's what happens to caretakers. They feel entitled to the person they're taking care of behaving themselves and being thankful for the caretaking. And they're pissed when the caretaking doesn't go their way. The people they're taking care of don't respond the right way.

59:41🔗 Adam You know, my mom was kind of broken down when I was growing up.

59:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:46🔗 Adam I didn't get too much into the caretaking stuff. You know what I'm saying?

59:51🔗 Drew Yeah. She didn't let... Here's the strength on her part. She didn't let you get into that.

59:55🔗 Adam Into taking care of her?

59:57🔗 Drew No. She had you take care of your own ass.

59:59🔗 Adam Well, that's true.

1:00:00🔗 Drew You know, she could have had you taking care of her. You ever thank her for that? By keeping her...

1:00:05🔗 Caller Are you high?

1:00:06🔗 Drew Keeping her...

1:00:07🔗 Adam Are you high?

1:00:08🔗 Caller Keeping her...

1:00:09🔗 Drew Grandma, did you hear this? There was an opportunity here for a little...

1:00:12🔗 Adam Are you high?

1:00:14🔗 Drew She could have been, you know, Adam, I need you to do these things for me.

1:00:18🔗 Adam Yeah, all right.

1:00:19🔗 Drew Okay. You're necessary for my survival. Make you feel like...

1:00:22🔗 Adam Hold on. Mental note. I'm going to write this down. Thank mom for not having...

1:00:26🔗 Drew Any paradigms.

1:00:27🔗 Adam Taking...

1:00:28🔗 Drew But also not intruding.

1:00:29🔗 Adam No, not having to be intrusive and take care. Thank dad for rare sodomy. Rare.

1:00:36🔗 Drew Rare.

1:00:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:37🔗 Adam I'm talking about Halloween and Easter.

1:00:39🔗 Drew Only?

1:00:41🔗 Adam Maybe Yom Kippur. That's about it.

1:00:45🔗 Caller Okay. All right. Yeah.

1:00:46🔗 Adam I got to thank her. Yeah, that's a good idea. I should have thanked her back then. Hey, Ma, could you come out of your room for a second? Put down the bong. I want to thank you. Thank you.

1:00:56🔗 Drew But you can't see that?

1:00:57🔗 Adam Oh, I'm not. No.

1:00:58🔗 Drew Well. She could have been broken and had you responsible for it.

1:01:02🔗 Adam Okay.

1:01:02🔗 Drew She didn't make you responsible for her. Right.

1:01:03🔗 Adam She could have chained me to a radiator and beat me.

1:01:06🔗 Drew Oh, that would have been good.

1:01:07🔗 Adam Yeah, you're right. Could have been worse. John?

1:01:10🔗 Hello?

1:01:11🔗 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:01:12🔗 Well, when I was like five and six, I like had sexual relations with my neighbor.

1:01:19🔗 Drew Some of the same age?

1:01:21🔗 Yeah, like a year, like five months apart.

1:01:23🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused by an adult prior to that?

1:01:25🔗 No, never.

1:01:26🔗 Drew So he was? Oh, no.

1:01:28🔗 It wasn't a boy. It was a girl.

1:01:29🔗 Drew She was, then?

1:01:30🔗 I don't know if she was.

1:01:31🔗 Drew She was. I guarantee it.

1:01:33🔗 Adam No. It doesn't necessarily have to be true.

1:01:36🔗 Drew What?

1:01:37🔗 Adam It doesn't.

1:01:38🔗 Drew For a five and six-year-old to have sexual intercourse, forget it.

1:01:40🔗 Adam I'm telling you. I know you freaked out because you've got kids. And you go nuts with this. You won't accept it.

1:01:45🔗 Drew No way.

1:01:46🔗 What happened was her dad had pornography in the house.

1:01:49🔗 Adam Well, that could be it.

1:01:50🔗 We'd get pictures of it, and then we would do what the pictures were doing.

1:01:54🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:55🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. I'll buy that.

1:01:56🔗 Ever since then, I like masturbating when I was nine. I've been trying to.

1:02:02🔗 Adam All right, but nothing came out, right?

1:02:04🔗 No. That's how I was 12. I've always been addicted to masturbation.

1:02:10🔗 Adam Christ, you son of a bitch. I didn't get anything out of my dork until I was 16. You know what I got at 12? Confetti.

1:02:20🔗 Nothing. I was a virgin until I was 17.

1:02:23🔗 Drew Good, but that's where sexual compulsion has come from, is that history that you've had. It activates a part of the brain that sets you on a trajectory that you become compulsive about.

1:02:31🔗 Adam All right. Well, let me float this theory. Here's a guy who at five wanted to have an intercourse with his neighbor in the first place. So one could argue that this is nature, not even nurture. He's a guy who had this bug in him early.

1:02:52🔗 Drew No way. No?

1:02:52🔗 Adam Why won't you recognize sexuality like any other human aspect?

1:02:59🔗 Drew There is all kinds. Before puberty, that part of the brain isn't functioning.

1:03:02🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on a second. How dare you? How dare you question my theories?

1:03:06🔗 Drew There's all sorts of sexuality, but it's not about intercourse. It's not genital sexuality.

1:03:11🔗 Adam Hold on a second. We get in this argument all the time. I can tell you, I remember being six, seven years old and talking about effing, and that stuff, and knowing what it was. Now, I grew up in the 70s, and it was real progressive. I don't know if progressive sounds like a good word.

1:03:30🔗 Drew Now you're compulsive masturbator. Okay, there we go.

1:03:32🔗 Adam How dare you, sir? How dare you?

1:03:35🔗 Drew Where's the gloves?

1:03:36🔗 Adam Are these microphones on? How dare you say that in the microphone? Compulsive masturbator. How dare you?

1:03:43🔗 Drew The temerity.

1:03:43🔗 Adam The temerity. I didn't even masturbate one day last week. I just got done whacking off to my mom. Here's my point. First off, that's completely out of context. If you heard the rest of that sentence, it would make perfect sense. Now, here's what I'm saying. What about that? What about the notion that some people have a accelerated and some people have a retarded sexuality?

1:04:12🔗 Drew That is what you just heard about, the kid with stuff coming out of his penis at 12 as opposed to you at 16. That's accelerated sexuality.

1:04:17🔗 Adam Okay. Why can't this present itself before puberty? How come there are certain people who are not abused or raped or anything like that, who don't, there's no connection to the environment necessarily, who say they thought about women very early and they tried to sneak peaks at their mom's friends in the dresser. Some is very accelerated.

1:04:45🔗 Drew That's all normal.

1:04:46🔗 Adam Others are very, what you would call retarded, not interested.

1:04:49🔗 Drew But if that kid-

1:04:50🔗 Adam I don't mean retarded like a hockey helmet retarded, I mean retard in advance.

1:04:56🔗 Drew I guarantee you-

1:04:56🔗 Adam Like ignition timing.

1:04:58🔗 Drew The kid that is titillated by looking at naked women and stuff is not thinking about putting his penis in the vagina. That does not occur to him in any way. No way.

1:05:07🔗 Adam Oh, you see, you're wrong. I mean, I remember having these thoughts. I remember kids talking about doing stuff with their fingers, putting it in the hole, and talking about sex and all that. Younger even. It didn't mean anything. They didn't know what to do with it, but they knew what it was.

1:05:26🔗 Drew Yes, I understand what you're saying. Yes, you're right, but to really think about doing that, to have impulse to do that and to actually act on that.

1:05:32🔗 Adam They could do it too. It just wouldn't mean anything.

1:05:37🔗 Drew Then why would they do it?

1:05:38🔗 Adam Well, I know, but why do you, I mean, listen, when I was a kid, why do you mimic anything?

1:05:45🔗 Drew But you'd have to see that. If you found... You'd have to really see that. You'd have to see a pornography or something like that, and then they do it. Then they mimic it. Yes, then they do.

1:05:51🔗 No, I know.

1:05:54🔗 Adam Yes, he does. No, you're always to, you're out on this one. You're not quite, but further. You're further out on this one. It's cause you got three kids. I'm telling you, it always has been this way with this.

1:06:05🔗 Drew Now it's your turn to get stumped. It's your turn to get stumped.

1:06:07🔗 Adam Okay, where are we?

1:06:08🔗 Drew Four.

1:06:09🔗 Caller Four? All right.

1:06:11🔗 Drew Brian, 18.

1:06:12🔗 Caller Hey, this is Brian. My question's for Adam. Yeah. I know you guys are talking about construction last night. I just had a question I thought maybe would stump Adam.

1:06:21🔗 Adam All right.

1:06:23🔗 Caller You think you're a pretty good expert on construction?

1:06:25🔗 Adam Well, if you ask a question that has to do with carpentry.

1:06:30🔗 Caller Yeah, I have to do with carpentry.

1:06:31🔗 Adam Then I will answer it.

1:06:33🔗 Caller Okay. The question is, how long on average does it take to build a normal track home?

1:06:41🔗 Drew That's not a carpentry question.

1:06:42🔗 Adam That's not a carpentry question. First off, I did custom houses, remods and ground ups, and there wasn't any time limit on. I didn't do that white trash track home stuff. I don't know. It probably takes about six months or eight months or something like that. How long does it take?

1:07:02🔗 Caller 110 days.

1:07:03🔗 Drew Three months. Four months.

1:07:04🔗 Caller 110 days.

1:07:05🔗 Drew Four months.

1:07:06🔗 Caller Whatever.

1:07:06🔗 Drew All right. All right.

1:07:07🔗 Caller Bye.

1:07:08🔗 Adam Okay, Brian. You got any specific questions?

1:07:12🔗 Drew Give him a good specific.

1:07:13🔗 Adam He doesn't have any.

1:07:14🔗 Caller No, I do. Actually, I do have a specific.

1:07:15🔗 Adam Okay, give me a good one.

1:07:15🔗 Drew Nailing schedule.

1:07:16🔗 Caller Okay. The girl, this girl that I, I'm in college now, but-

1:07:20🔗 Drew He wants a construction question.

1:07:21🔗 Adam I want a carpentry question.

1:07:22🔗 Caller Another carpentry question. This is a, I thought this was Loveline.

1:07:25🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, when I say carpentry question, I don't want to know how many lineal feet of Vermont American comes out of their plywood factory in Oregon each year. Do you know what I'm saying? I want a real carpentry question.

1:07:45🔗 Caller Okay, I'm sorry. Next time I call, I'll call a better question.

1:07:48🔗 Adam All right, Brian, go ahead.

1:07:49🔗 Caller Okay, the girl that I took to the senior prom, she was like, you know, my ideal girl. And I'm still keeping in contact with her. She's a senior now, but you know, I'm in college. I'm a freshman. And I really pursued a lot and we're still talking and stuff, but my best friend who's still in high school, you know, is in the same grade. And he's like trying to go after her. And I found out from friends that he's like taking her out a couple of times. I'm just wondering how you act when I'm around this guy next time I see him.

1:08:26🔗 Drew Pissed. I'd say you should act.

1:08:29🔗 Caller Well, I'm just, we were good friends.

1:08:32🔗 Drew Yeah, you're pissed. Why can't you be, if you're good friends, you can be pissed.

1:08:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:34🔗 Drew Because you're disappointed in him.

1:08:36🔗 Adam All right. It happens all the time, though.

1:08:38🔗 Drew Especially with this one to wait college thing. It just, you're just, you're just no longer connected.

1:08:42🔗 Adam My prom date died.

1:08:45🔗 Drew She killed herself?

1:08:46🔗 Adam How dare you? No, she died of natural causes at the age of like 22, 23.

1:08:54🔗 Drew Ray, you know what? There are no natural causes of death at 22.

1:08:58🔗 Adam There are not? Well, I mean, when you have a heart attack, I mean, she had like, she was like a bad, she had a bad heart or bad something. She wasn't doing drugs or anything, totally straight, in aerobics class, pal.

1:09:13🔗 Drew So she had some sort of congenital heart defect.

1:09:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:15🔗 Drew That's not natural cause.

1:09:16🔗 Adam You don't call that natural causes?

1:09:19🔗 Drew Natural cause means part of the aging process.

1:09:21🔗 Adam Listen, son of tard, something goes, something gives out.

1:09:24🔗 Drew Then all death is natural process, then.

1:09:27🔗 Adam All death that's not caused by traumatic or drugs. Or that is induced by, let's say, inhaling asbestos or something.

1:09:36🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:37🔗 Adam Okay. Yeah.

1:09:38🔗 Drew Okay.

1:09:39🔗 Adam Well, I know it sounds weird to say 22 or 23-year-old died of natural causes, but it was self-contained. It wasn't through anything she ingested, no one ran her over.

1:09:48🔗 Yeah.

1:09:49🔗 Drew All right. That's fine. That's fine.

1:09:51🔗 Adam It sounds natural. Not a good, maybe a little, maybe 50 years before she needed to go.

1:09:57🔗 Drew If she had cancer, they wouldn't have said no natural cause. They would have said, oh, she died of cancer.

1:10:01🔗 Adam I understand. Yeah. But what about that? I mean, what about your, I mean, she had a-

1:10:05🔗 Drew No, I agree with your definition.

1:10:07🔗 Adam If you're not, that holds. This girl, sweet as sugar, beautiful, smart, went to UCSB, University of Santa Barbara, over there, graduated, beautiful, good looking, smart, whole thing, was like at some aerobics class, had a little like heart pain, went to a doctor, told the doctor, told her, you know, hey, take it easy, kind of thing. I think six months later, back at aerobic class, dropped it.

1:10:34🔗 Drew Yeesh.

1:10:35🔗 Adam Yeah, 20, 23 or something.

1:10:37🔗 Drew Awful.

1:10:38🔗 Adam Yeah. Thank God she didn't have any sex with me at that prom.

1:10:44🔗 Caller Well, these are wonderful stories.

1:10:48🔗 Adam You know where Huel Hauser was today?

1:10:50🔗 Drew No.

1:10:51🔗 Adam He was in Calexico. You know where Calexico is?

1:10:55🔗 Drew Now, by the border.

1:10:57🔗 Adam This is the southernmost city in California. Oh yeah. You know what they do in Calexico?

1:11:05🔗 Drew Nothing.

1:11:05🔗 Adam Nothing. So this is the Mexican border. Yeah, it is, Huel. And this is California here. That's right, Huel. So if I stand over here, I'm in Mexico. That's right, Huel. All right. And now if I come back here, you're in California, Huel. I'm in California.

1:11:31🔗 Drew California.

1:11:32🔗 Adam California. But if I straddle the border, well, I'm half in Mexico and half in California. And I'm in hell.

1:11:42🔗 Drew I'm watching.

1:11:43🔗 Adam I'm in hell watching.

1:11:44🔗 Drew All of you are in hell.

1:11:44🔗 Adam Yeah, he was in Calexico. He went to the southernmost city in California, and he went to the northern.

1:11:53🔗 Drew Went up to Vancouver, Washington or something.

1:11:55🔗 Adam He went to Eureka, but no, this wasn't even Eureka. This was, they grew a lot of horse radish there. Horse radish. Oh, he went to the horse radish festival. Stop. Let's go.

1:12:09🔗 Caller It is grand and beautiful.

1:12:14🔗 Adam And you'll be glad to know I talk about you when you're not around. I then called Jimmy and said, Can you believe Dr. Drew does not know who Huelhauser is? And Drew went, he grew up in LA.

1:12:25🔗 Drew Jimmy said that.

1:12:26🔗 Adam Yes, sorry. And I said, Yes, he did. And he went, Holy Christ. And then I went, he doesn't know Steve Largen is either. And he went, Oh, my God.

1:12:32🔗 Drew Oh, that probably blew his mind.

1:12:33🔗 Adam And he blew his mind. And then I got to Doug Henning and then he like fell over. All right. We'll be back after this.

1:12:43🔗 Caller Um, back in a minute.

1:13:19🔗 Adam That's right, babies. Daddy's home. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1.

1:13:29🔗 Caller Bye.

1:13:31🔗 Adam I want to talk about Jehovah for just a couple of minutes.

1:13:33🔗 Drew Oh, please.

1:13:34🔗 Caller Okay.

1:13:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:13:35🔗 Adam All right. I'm done. Stacey?

1:13:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:39🔗 Adam You're 24 years old?

1:13:41🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:13:42🔗 Adam You know what's funny? I was just thinking about vices, Drew.

1:13:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:47🔗 Adam Listener sent us a big box of chocolate in a porno movie, and it was funny because I had at myself probably about 7.38 o'clock tonight.

1:13:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:13:56🔗 Adam So there was the porn movie. There was the big box of chocolates. The porn movie, I glanced at it for a second like, yeah, okay, give me that chocolate. Dug right in the chocolate. Then they'll be, but they're-

1:14:09🔗 Drew A different night.

1:14:10🔗 Adam They'll come a day. Quite my precious. My penis is doggy. Yeah, they'll come a day when I look at the box of chocolate, this is after a big meal, and look at the porno movie, and it's going to be a whole different vibe going on. It's interesting how that works, isn't it?

1:14:26🔗 Drew Satiating biological drives that we're talking about here.

1:14:29🔗 Adam Yes. I opened the porn movie at the same time I opened the box of chocolate and the porn movie did zero for me.

1:14:35🔗 Drew Were we talking about chimpanzees, this would be no surprise to us.

1:14:38🔗 Adam That's right.

1:14:39🔗 Drew A fed chimpanzee and a socially deprived chimpanzee.

1:14:42🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:14:43🔗 Drew Might go for the porn.

1:14:44🔗 Adam Thank you and how dare you. Stacey?

1:14:46🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:14:46🔗 Adam You're 24 now. What's up?

1:14:49🔗 Guest Well, I guess I'm getting really nervous. I've been with my boyfriend for about seven years probably. And it's been off and on, of course. And I've had some emotional struggles.

1:14:59🔗 Adam Why?

1:14:59🔗 Guest I can tell you right off the bat, I probably need AA and just counseling because I grew up in an alcoholic family, had sex at 11.

1:15:08🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

1:15:09🔗 Guest You know, just started off, but I grew up real fast and I could figure out what was going on. But when it comes to making like this lifetime decision, I'm really torn.

1:15:17🔗 Adam What decision?

1:15:19🔗 Guest About getting married.

1:15:20🔗 Adam Oh, about getting married. Does he want to get married?

1:15:23🔗 Guest Yeah, he does. But he, I guess, you know, throughout the things that I've done to him, he's unsure that I'm going to be, you know, who I am right now.

1:15:31🔗 Drew So who's pushing the issue?

1:15:32🔗 Guest Cheating on him and stuff like that.

1:15:33🔗 Drew Who's pushing the marriage issue?

1:15:36🔗 Guest Um, well, it's kind of weird because my mom died almost, I guess, a year ago this month. And so I've really wanted to have kids. I grew up kind of quickly in that year. And I need to replace that love, I think.

1:15:50🔗 Drew No, that is a, listen, that is not a reason to have kids.

1:15:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:55🔗 Drew For it to stop right now.

1:15:56🔗 Adam You have kids. You want someone to mow the lawn and someone to cuddle.

1:16:00🔗 Guest You know, I want to give that. I miss that love, and I want to provide that.

1:16:04🔗 Drew No, no, no. You raise a kid because...

1:16:07🔗 Adam What are you getting at, Drew?

1:16:08🔗 Drew Well, you raise a kid when you're ready to give to that child whatever that child needs. Not to replace something you need. It's not like that with a boyfriend. No, not to act out something, something empty in your life, some needs that you have. It's not about you. It's about the other person, the child. Your needs need to be completely...

1:16:25🔗 Guest I agree with you, because I was dead set against having a kid before my mom died. But I swear to God, it changed something in me, and I'm ready now, even if it's, you know, but I don't know. I did have a boyfriend through me and this boyfriend breaking up, probably, I don't know, I guess it was about six months ago. We got back together. But he stole from me and stuff, and I realized that I really know who this person is, and I really love him. And, you know, I don't know.

1:16:51🔗 Drew Wait, sorry, hold on one second. One second. Oh, boy.

1:16:55🔗 Adam But anyway, he stole from me, and I realize I really know who this person is, and I really love him.

1:17:00🔗 Drew He stole from me.

1:17:01🔗 Adam And he fenced some earrings I had, and it brought us closer together. And there was some of my grand theft out on some of my larceny. And he's one who I feel that were kindred spirits. He committed insurance fraud on my account.

1:17:19🔗 Drew And that's what I'm on to slow to find.

1:17:22🔗 Adam And do you believe in soulmates? Because after it dropped ours in charge, we... Well, this is love, all right. Well, she said, stole from me, and I love him in the same breath. What did he steal from me, Stacey? Your dignity?

1:17:40🔗 Guest Money and things like that. This is not the boyfriend that I want to marry.

1:17:43🔗 Adam Oh, this is the other guy?

1:17:44🔗 Guest Right.

1:17:45🔗 Adam Uh-huh. Why?

1:17:46🔗 Guest When I left to go out with this guy.

1:17:48🔗 Adam Why did the new guy steal from you?

1:17:52🔗 Guest He was just too young, and he was running from some problems. I think I jumped right in and wanted to save him.

1:17:58🔗 Drew Oh, he's a drug addict. He's a drug addict just like that.

1:18:03🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:18:03🔗 Adam Hey, baby.

1:18:05🔗 Guest What?

1:18:05🔗 Adam You still got a lot of problems.

1:18:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:18:08🔗 Adam You're not near done.

1:18:10🔗 Guest I know.

1:18:11🔗 Adam You ain't close to being a good mom. You got a lot of S to sort through before you're going to be a good mommy.

1:18:19🔗 Guest Yeah. I think a lot of it is I'm just giving up.

1:18:21🔗 Caller I'm trying to sort through all the crap right now.

1:18:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:23🔗 Adam Well, get back on it and stop looking for distractions like kids, and rings, and marriage, and all that. You're looking for a distraction.

1:18:32🔗 Guest He asked me to marry him four years ago, and I was dragging my feet, and now all of a sudden, I'm ready, but he's doubting it and suddenly-

1:18:37🔗 Caller Good.

1:18:38🔗 Drew That's why you're ready magically, because he doesn't want you anymore.

1:18:44🔗 Adam Listen, just please-

1:18:46🔗 Drew Slow down. Slow down.

1:18:49🔗 Adam Everyone, here is your goal, everyone. Your goal is not to screw your kids up as bad as your parents screwed you up. And the only way to do that is to get your crap in order, your emotional affairs. Lighten your load as much as humanly possible. You'll never have an empty trunk, but lighten it as much as you possibly can for the long journey into parenthood. And if you're dragging a bunch of crap, you're going to lay it. Here's the deal. My analogy. Parenthood is like a long trek up a Himalayan mountain, okay? And you cannot drag your full trunk. If your trunk is heaping with stuff and you have kids, guess what? You got to pile some of it on them so they can help schlep it up the mountain. You need a light overnight backpack, not a steamer trunk full of crap.

1:19:51🔗 Drew Or marry a family of Sherpas.

1:19:53🔗 Adam Or marry Sherpa guides. Exactly my point.

1:19:57🔗 Drew That's what I figured.

1:19:58🔗 Adam Megan?

1:19:58🔗 Yeah, hi.

1:19:59🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:20:01🔗 Caller Well, about a month ago, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. And then about a week, a week and a half later, when I should have started my period, I instead started spotting. And then-

1:20:16🔗 Drew Are you pregnant?

1:20:17🔗 Caller Well, I- so that's what I don't know, because then maybe a week, a week and a half later, I had a yeast infection. So that leads us up to now. And I mean, I don't feel that I am, but you know, there's always a possibility. And also like, when I try to masturbate or something like that, like I will start to like feel like I'm going to orgasm, but then I don't.

1:20:45🔗 Drew And how does that connect with what you've been experiencing lately?

1:20:48🔗 Caller I don't know. But that's just like-

1:20:50🔗 Drew Was the experience unpleasant in some way? Was the experience unpleasant in some way?

1:20:55🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. It was kind of because it was my first time, and it was like all weird and, you know?

1:21:01🔗 Drew Are you upset about that?

1:21:03🔗 Caller I don't want to say upset because-

1:21:05🔗 Drew Disturbed?

1:21:06🔗 Caller What?

1:21:06🔗 Drew Disturbed.

1:21:07🔗 Caller Well, no, no, no. I learned from every experience that I go through. So I learned something from that. I might have jumped into something too soon.

1:21:16🔗 Drew Which pretty much-

1:21:17🔗 Adam Well, I'm looking at the porn box now because I've had my fill of chocolate in the semen is starting to gather in my testes and my scrotum sack. Moving on now. I see.

1:21:30🔗 Drew Yeah, in order.

1:21:31🔗 Adam I'm starting to think about booze and porno now.

1:21:33🔗 Caller Oh, okay. Yeah.

1:21:34🔗 Adam So I haven't really listened to Megan's question. Did you get her straightened out?

1:21:38🔗 Drew She had sex for the first time, unprotected, started spotting afterwards when she would normally have her period. Might have been a period, might have been pre, you know, first trimester of bleeding. And now when she masturbates, she can't orgasm. Are you there?

1:21:51🔗 Adam You know what's weird when you, the credits on porn movies are always funny. Always funny, you know, when they talk about like the sound guys, Dick Boomer, stuff like that.

1:22:03🔗 Drew Right.

1:22:03🔗 Adam You know, the key grip is dork, Diggler, and stuff like that. And it's like, when I, you ever see that in a porn movie or watch the credits?

1:22:16🔗 Drew Is it on the back there?

1:22:17🔗 Adam Yeah. The sound was done, you know, they'll give the credits, they'll give the sound. No, not on this. When you watched a movie, you'll see the credits. You'll see the sound guy. You'll see like an AD or second AD. You'll see a gaffer. And-

1:22:32🔗 Drew Why do they even put-

1:22:33🔗 Adam That's, okay, this is my point. They don't use the real name.

1:22:37🔗 Drew Why have credits?

1:22:39🔗 Adam Who's watching a porn movie and going, this Dick Nibbler, this guy's one hell of a gaffer. I want to get, hey, I want to get this Dick Nibbler. Bob, pick up the phone, get Dick Nibbler on it, and I want him on my next production.

1:22:55🔗 Drew Or do they keep those names as they go from movie to movie? You know what I mean? Maybe it's some code.

1:23:01🔗 Adam You must have to keep your same name, otherwise why bother? But it's like if I made a movie and the credits rolled around and it didn't say Adam Carolla, instead my name was Jack Mihoff, it'd be like, why bother? What if it puts you, yeah, even better, these guys aren't on camera. You never see them. I guess you just become familiar with Dick Gobbler's work or something and you really appreciate it. One hell, hey, maybe one of the best sound men in Gaffer's Boom Man in the Business, Dick Gobbler. We got to get him on our next production. I'm telling you, you watch this for him.

1:23:43🔗 Drew Or maybe they think they're producing some comedic comment, and so they cast the tech guys based on the names.

1:23:51🔗 Adam No. I don't think that's the way it works. I don't think this way it works.

1:23:55🔗 Drew Megan, so we don't really understand what's going on here, except that it wasn't a great experience, and you might be pregnant.

1:24:03🔗 Caller That's what else. It's like it maybe lasted for a half an hour, 45 minutes, and then I had to go.

1:24:11🔗 Adam Go what?

1:24:11🔗 Caller What?

1:24:12🔗 Adam Go where?

1:24:13🔗 Caller I had to leave. I had to go home. Nice. Yeah, because I was like, I'd be home by 4 o'clock, yada, yada, yada. So he didn't orgasm or come that I know of.

1:24:28🔗 Drew Yeah, but still, you didn't use protection, right?

1:24:31🔗 Adam No. All right. Here we go.

1:24:33🔗 Drew Again, it may just be the unpleasantness of the whole thing that's got our shut down.

1:24:38🔗 Adam I was reading the porn box. Jerry?

1:24:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:41🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:24:42🔗 Caller Yeah. Hey, it's really an honor to talk to you guys.

1:24:44🔗 Adam It's good to talk to you, Jerry.

1:24:45🔗 Caller Thanks for giving me the time. All right. I'm going to give you guys a little bit of the story really quick.

1:24:49🔗 Caller All right.

1:24:50🔗 Caller Pretty much four years ago, my parents got divorced. My dad moved out here to LA., which I am here now, and probably about two years ago, my dad ended up getting a roommate. All right. You guys following me?

1:25:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:05🔗 Caller All right. So this whole time-

1:25:07🔗 Drew Kind of like you and Jimmy, you see?

1:25:08🔗 Caller Huh?

1:25:09🔗 Adam How dare you make friend of my lover.

1:25:12🔗 Caller So this whole time, I'm thinking it's a roommate. So my plan is come out here to LA., go to college, have a good time with my dad, because I spent the four years with my mom. So I do that. So about a month goes by. I came out here in August, and about a month goes by, and I notice how things are kind of weird around here. So I kind of confront my dad. I just say, Listen, is this a little bit more of a roommate? So he goes in this big store, and pretty much he just comes out of the closet. All right, now, I'm a heterosexual male, and I mean just...

1:25:51🔗 Drew But your dad isn't?

1:25:52🔗 Caller Huh?

1:25:53🔗 Drew Your dad isn't?

1:25:53🔗 Caller No, no, I know. He isn't.

1:25:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:55🔗 Caller Okay.

1:25:56🔗 Adam You'll be going gay any day now.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Honestly, that's what I'm afraid of.

1:25:59🔗 Drew Oh, Jeremy, please.

1:26:00🔗 Adam Yeah, it's like male pattern baldness.

1:26:02🔗 Drew You're gay.

1:26:03🔗 Adam It's hereditary. You know what I'll tell you what?

1:26:04🔗 Caller I'll tell you what.

1:26:05🔗 Adam Sure.

1:26:05🔗 Drew No.

1:26:06🔗 Caller Honestly, ever since I found this out, I mean, I'm not feeling very manly. I just want to know what to do, you know?

1:26:13🔗 Drew Listen, your parents did an amazing good job raising you. You sound like a pretty well put together guy. You can have open discussions with your dad. You realize something funny. First of all, you're comfortable living in both environments.

1:26:27🔗 Adam Don't have too many open discussions with your dad.

1:26:29🔗 Drew But the point is he can do it. He can sit down and go, something's not right here, dad. Dad tells him. That's phenomenal. Coming from a broken family where there's a lot of serious issues going on, it could have been a mess. They sound like they did a great job with you.

1:26:41🔗 Adam Well, you know how it is. You come home, I smell ass. Dad, have you been sodomizing again? You know what goes in, right?

1:26:48🔗 Drew This makes Jeremy feel better.

1:26:50🔗 Adam Okay.

1:26:50🔗 Caller Let me be honest with you guys. Personally, I think I have a rather high self-esteem.

1:26:54🔗 Drew Yeah, as I'm saying, they did a great job.

1:26:56🔗 Caller Yeah. I'm just worried that this is going to eat me up.

1:26:59🔗 Drew No, no, no.

1:27:02🔗 Adam Gay dad's fine.

1:27:03🔗 Drew Yeah. You got to just get over this.

1:27:05🔗 Adam Listen, don't you watch TV? Everyone's gay.

1:27:08🔗 Caller Yeah, well, by the way.

1:27:09🔗 Adam And they're having a time of their lives.

1:27:11🔗 Caller By the way, Adam, what's his name? The guy on TV on Public Access.

1:27:16🔗 Drew Huel Hauser.

1:27:17🔗 Caller Yeah, I'll tell you what, I saw that for the first time today coming out to Californians.

1:27:21🔗 Adam Oh.

1:27:21🔗 Caller Oh, my Lord.

1:27:22🔗 Adam Where was he?

1:27:23🔗 Drew Northern California. Now, Jeremy, that could put you at risk.

1:27:26🔗 Adam Where was he in Northern California? Where was that?

1:27:29🔗 Caller What was it called? It was called like, something with a T.

1:27:32🔗 Adam Horse radish, I'll tell you that. Am I right?

1:27:34🔗 Drew Could this not be the issue for him? This could be more of a problem for his dad being gay.

1:27:38🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, honestly, it's kind of bothered me though, but I just don't know how to deal with it.

1:27:42🔗 Drew Well, keep talking to your dad. Keep some good buddies around you. You can talk to him.

1:27:45🔗 Adam Yeah, don't add a good buddies.

1:27:47🔗 Drew Are you kidding? Most of this, frankly, is you being 18.

1:27:50🔗 Adam Yeah, you're confused.

1:27:52🔗 Drew Yeah, everything freaks you out at 18.

1:27:54🔗 Adam If I told my buddies that my dad was gay when I was 18, hanging around them, feeding frenzy. Yeah. Do you understand?

1:28:04🔗 Drew Yeah, but you feel better as a result of it.

1:28:07🔗 Adam You think so?

1:28:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:28:09🔗 Adam My buddies would have brought that up every second day and would still be bringing it up right now.

1:28:14🔗 Drew But you realize how ridiculous you were for obsessing about it. Because they didn't make it so much.

1:28:19🔗 Adam I don't know if I bring it up with my buddies. Not that, listen, gay dad's fine. I'm telling you, it's like a sitcom plot. Every third TV show has got a gay dad on it now and it's great. But here's the deal, I wouldn't bring this up with my buddies. If your buddies are like my buddies, they'll give you a razzle.

1:28:36🔗 Drew Yeah, but not every bunch of animals like you did.

1:28:39🔗 Adam Really? You didn't hang out with animals?

1:28:43🔗 Drew My friends didn't poo on each other, didn't pee on each other.

1:28:48🔗 Adam Come again? Didn't pee on each other?

1:28:51🔗 Drew Not with such regularity anyway. Just the occasional sort of flip.

1:28:56🔗 Adam Tell me when your buddies never crapped in your ski beanie and handed it back to you?

1:29:00🔗 Drew No, never had that pleasure.

1:29:03🔗 Adam Really? They never took a crap on your carpet right in front of your back door when you were living in a garage, your dad stepped in it when he walked into the room? No? Never did that? Never just took a leak on your mattress so when you got home at night, you just a huge puddle of urine on your back. Just literally stood over your mattress and relieved themselves. Why? Never had that happen?

1:29:32🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:29:33🔗 Adam You said it never happened?

1:29:35🔗 Drew My cat doesn't do that. Okay.

1:29:36🔗 Adam All right. You tell me one of your friends never filled his ass up with water jacuzzi and tried to squirt it at you? No? Really? I don't believe that. Not for a second.

1:29:49🔗 Caller All right.

1:29:49🔗 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:29:53🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

1:30:27🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew over there.

1:30:33🔗 Drew Hey, now, Adam and I always urinate together in the bathroom.

1:30:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:30:35🔗 Drew I was regaled with your answer. I noticed when I was doing those things.

1:30:39🔗 Adam Oh, did I do the shiver?

1:30:40🔗 Drew Just talking about all the activities you used to engage in.

1:30:43🔗 Adam I do the shiver only when I urinate amongst others.

1:30:48🔗 Drew Oh, so you were talking about your experiences as a youngster with your friends peeing on you.

1:30:57🔗 Adam I've been peeing on a few times. Let me tell you kids something. It's a humbling experience. You know, like a lot of people talk about bottoming out, losing a battle with drugs or alcohol, losing their job, getting divorced, that kind of stuff, being humbled, you know what I mean? For me, being urinated on maybe 95, 100 times, something like that. It's been some months.

1:31:24🔗 Drew He was telling me that he would sit at a table and like at a Denny's, they'd be sitting across the table and they'd be talking in earnest and all of a sudden realize that Chris or Ray would be across the table peeing on them, under the table. Yeah, they'd pee on your leg.

1:31:37🔗 Adam You wouldn't know it.

1:31:38🔗 Drew Busy restaurant.

1:31:40🔗 Adam Yeah, it wasn't pretty. It was not pretty.

1:31:43🔗 Caller It's just not normal. There's something wrong.

1:31:45🔗 Drew I just thought your monkeys must think it's funny too.

1:31:48🔗 Caller I mean, did you think it was normal? Did you think everybody did that?

1:31:51🔗 Adam No. No, I knew other people didn't do it by their reaction when Ray did it to them. They seemed outraged. Oh my God. It was self-defense, you know. It was like if you're hanging around these guys, you know, you had to fight fire with fire. You had no choice. They peed on you. You peed back. You had no choice. You couldn't back down. You become a sponge.

1:32:12🔗 Caller Okay. Now, after everything dies down and you're covered with pee, don't you just think, that was silly?

1:32:21🔗 Adam Yeah. You do kind of wish you hadn't been urinated on. Yeah, you do.

1:32:25🔗 Drew Well, how did you clean your cars out and stuff when you were peeing?

1:32:28🔗 Adam Pee war. Well, thank God my dad always went with the vinyl interior.

1:32:32🔗 Drew I see.

1:32:33🔗 Adam He didn't break down, actually get the car that had the eight bucks worth of mat in it. Right. I remember once when I was driving my buddy Chris Home from his job working the cookie cart over at the Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks.

1:32:49🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:32:50🔗 Adam I picked him up. I was driving my dad. My dad had like a 76 rabbit, four speed, no air and pure vinyl interior. I'm talking about vinyl seats, vinyl floor mats, vinyl headliner. This car was made to be urinated in. I think that's what the salesman told him. This baby could hold a gal and an elephant with his. No one would know it. I was driving Chris home. I was driving from work. I picked him up. I was driving home from work. I was driving down the riverside drive. Next thing you know, a big blast of urine went right by me. I looked down, the guy sitting in the passenger seat was peeing on me. I don't mean peeing like you think. I mean shooting urine with a special technique. He developed it actually called brewing. I'm trying to drive a car and dodge urine as I'm driving. Now, thank God, I'm holding a large root beer. It was in a cup. I dumped this root beer on his head. He then threw whatever he was drinking on my head.

1:33:55🔗 Drew That's good way to drive.

1:33:56🔗 Adam They continued urinating. It's like I opened my dad's car door and urine and root beer just came flooding out of the thing. I had to go to a car wash and hose my dad's interior out.

1:34:07🔗 Drew The Simpsons need to do an episode on this.

1:34:10🔗 Adam Really? I'm telling you a light story. I'm telling you, Chris doesn't even remember this one. This ain't going down as in the top 50. This is what you call light. This is nothing. This is a weekday.

1:34:24🔗 Caller Did their parents not change their diapers or something when they were infants?

1:34:27🔗 Adam I don't know who decided. I mean, basically, here's the story. Here's how it works. And we got accused of many things. People thought there was homosexual overtones to this. How dare they? We got accused of a lot of things. And believe me, there was rumors going around. But here's the bottom line. And here's how I explain it to people. When you're a young teenage lad, especially when everyone's on the football team, your job is to beat up on your buddies. And these guys were both 215 pounds and nothing but muscle. And I was 210 pounds. And we beat the crap out of each other just nonstop. That's what teenage guys do. And if spitting on your buddy is a three, then on him, that's a seven.

1:35:13🔗 Drew In the natural progression, you start with spitting. And you just move along.

1:35:17🔗 Adam You work your way up.

1:35:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:35:19🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. I'll tell you about the nines and tens one day.

1:35:23🔗 Drew One day?

1:35:23🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

1:35:26🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:35:27🔗 Adam You don't know the half of it. The point is, the point is, is abuse at all costs. And we abuse.

1:35:34🔗 Drew I want to hear a nine.

1:35:35🔗 Adam All right, we'll be back.

1:35:45🔗 We'll be right back.

1:36:12🔗 Caller Yep, there you go.

1:36:14🔗 Adam Another fantastic show.

1:36:16🔗 Drew See what happens when we leave us alone here without a guest?

1:36:18🔗 Adam Yeah, start talking about we. Yeah. Nikki Cox will be in here. The very beautiful Nikki Cox will be in here tomorrow night. We'll be glad to see her. Hope she brings Bobcat with her.

1:36:27🔗 Drew I'm certain you won't regale her with any of these stories.

1:36:29🔗 Adam I don't dare you to quiet. And until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:34🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:36:37🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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