Tuesday, October 3, 2000

2:11🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:23🔗 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Boy, I wonder if I've said that before.

2:37🔗 Adam No.

2:38🔗 Drew Can I give all the phone number and everything? Is the show over?

2:42🔗 Adam Just about.

2:42🔗 Drew All right. Nikki Cox and Nick von Esmarch are here tonight. They're from the new WB show, which is going to premiere this Sunday night. Eight o'clock? Nine thirty.

2:57🔗 Guest Close enough.

2:58🔗 Drew Well, it's a three hour show. Starts at eight. It's going to go through to eleven.

3:01🔗 Very special episode.

3:02🔗 Drew Nine thirty of Nikki, which is guess what? It's not called Nick. It's Nikki. And we have the guest from the show tonight. I haven't seen the show because the show's not been on, right?

3:15🔗 Guest Correct.

3:16🔗 Drew So tell us about it.

3:17🔗 Guest It's set in Vegas. We play a young married couple and I'm trying to be a dancer. And so I'm working as a show girl in the meantime. And he wants to be a pro wrestler.

3:27🔗 Drew Oh, perfect. And you have experience. I was reading the bio. You have been a dancer in your day.

3:34🔗 Guest I was a dancer for quite a while, but it's been a long time.

3:37🔗 Drew And no eating disorder?

3:39🔗 Guest No, not yet. I'm working on it. Wow.

3:41🔗 Drew First dancer we've ever spoken to. Did you decide to dance or did your family force you into it?

3:47🔗 Guest I decided to.

3:48🔗 Drew All right.

3:48🔗 Adam That's what the eating disorder went away.

3:51🔗 Drew You didn't decide to when you were three and a half, though, right?

3:53🔗 Guest Yeah, I did. I bagged and pled.

3:55🔗 Drew Really?

3:56🔗 Guest Yes.

3:56🔗 Drew Isn't that the story your parents tell you to tell? Because every time they talk to one of these showbiz moms, like, listen, she wanted to be an actor. It's like, how old was she? One.

4:08🔗 Guest She wanted to do that diaper commercial.

4:12🔗 Drew She begged to do that powder, that diaper rash commercial. Yeah. It's like, hey, mom, I wanted to be an astronaut when I was five.

4:20🔗 Adam We never arranged that.

4:21🔗 Drew We never went to Cape Canaveral. What's up? All right. So Nikki, of course, we know from Unhappily Ever After. Are you married to my second male lover, Bobcat, or are you guys still engaged?

4:34🔗 Guest We're still engaged.

4:36🔗 Drew Good. Put it off, smart bro.

4:37🔗 Guest Thank you. That's very kind.

4:38🔗 Drew I thought you guys would be married by now.

4:40🔗 Guest We will be married. I just don't want to get married and go right back to work. I want a honeymoon.

4:47🔗 Drew Right. What's Bob doing? Just putzing around the house, smoking a cigar?

4:51🔗 Guest Right now, as we speak? Yes, I believe so.

4:54🔗 Drew Bob, by the way, called us yesterday.

4:57🔗 Adam Called?

4:58🔗 Drew My male lover, Jimmy Kimmel, and wants to work for the Man Show next season.

5:05🔗 Doing what?

5:06🔗 Drew Well, we had him come in. What people don't know about Bobcat is a very talented producer, director.

5:13🔗 Oh, right.

5:13🔗 Drew He's a real good eye, real good comedic eye, good director, and he directed a lot of the bits we did in the first season and in the second season especially. Yeah. So we're going to bring him back, I think, full time to do it. Yeah, that'll be real nice because it's nice to have guys you can sort of who are better than you are.

5:32🔗 Guest Then we can say, he is good.

5:33🔗 Drew Leave on your own. Yeah. Is he doing, I don't want to turn to little Bobcat thing. That's all right. Is he doing videos and music videos and stuff like that?

5:41🔗 Guest Oh, I can't remember the last one he did, but yeah, he's always doing things like that. He's always going on the road and he's always working.

5:48🔗 Drew Nick, let's talk to you. Is this your big break?

5:51🔗 Caller Yeah, that's it.

5:54🔗 Drew What were you up to before you got into television?

5:56🔗 I sold video games, rented cars.

5:59🔗 Drew Oh, well, it's a logical jump. Yeah. Sure. You sold used cars?

6:05🔗 No, I rented brand new cars.

6:07🔗 Drew Oh, you rented them?

6:08🔗 Adam Enterprise.

6:08🔗 Guest I rented them out.

6:09🔗 Budget rental.

6:10🔗 Guest Budget, thank you very much.

6:11🔗 Drew Nice.

6:11🔗 I was the king of the car rental.

6:13🔗 Drew I always sat around the other day and tried to figure out how you start a car rental business, which is we need a couple acres at an airport and 150 cars. But here's the good news. We get $18.95 a day. For each one of them, we rent out.

6:30🔗 Adam How's that work?

6:31🔗 Drew How's that work? And $10 billion worth of insurance. How do you get started in that business? You know what I mean? Like who?

6:37🔗 Adam Four million employees.

6:38🔗 Drew Yeah. Here's all I need. I need $10 million to get started, and we should be making $140, $150 a day in a couple of months. I don't know how that begins. To me, car rental is something that just always has been in some government run operation. I don't know how a private business gets into that.

6:58🔗 Guest It's a dream. Some have it.

7:00🔗 Drew I never had that goal. I'd be like, listen, you son of a bitch. First, I'd give everyone a speech. You take this car, you mother-affer. I see you throwing it in reverse while you're still going forward. I will kick your ass. Forget it. I'm going with you. Where are we going? Oh, no, no, no. We're not eating drive through. You get out of the car, get out of the car and eat in the restaurant. No way you're eating that chicken in my car. I couldn't imagine. All right. So Sunday nights at 9.30, how much of this do you film in Vegas, if any?

7:31🔗 Guest We haven't gone there to film yet, unfortunately, because I like Vegas.

7:34🔗 Drew So is it supposed to take place in Vegas? Obviously, it doesn't take place in Vegas, but do you have a certain amount, a bunch of shots of the strip and all that?

7:45🔗 Guest I believe there are some of those stock shots of the strip.

7:48🔗 Drew Very nice. You can see Robert Yurek going by in his custom firebird. Drew, you had one of those growing up. A firebird? Yes, you did. Thunderbird? Wait a minute. Yeah, I meant thunderbird. Okay. Okay. One's a Pontiac. All right. We're going to hop on the phone. Drew, what car? You drove a 55 Thunderbird in high school, right?

8:15🔗 Adam I drove a 557. But that was in the 70s when everything old was a piece of crap. You got to remember that. Put it in context. I was considered impaired, handicapped.

8:24🔗 Drew Okay. All right.

8:25🔗 Adam Okay?

8:25🔗 Drew All right.

8:26🔗 Adam It'd be like living in a beautiful Victorian home in 1977, which would have been like living in a haunted house.

8:31🔗 Drew Right. Someone would walk in and go-

8:33🔗 Adam We got to put some wood paneling up.

8:35🔗 Drew Yeah. You spray a little- Immediately. Spray a little acoustic cottage cheese on the ceiling, put down a little rust colored carpet, and you're in business.

8:42🔗 Adam It'll be okay here. You poor thing.

8:43🔗 Drew Yeah. You yank that old Art Deco stove and refrigerator, put a little avocado green a manna in there, and now we're cooking.

8:52🔗 Adam Cars were the same way. It's like, hey, I'm sorry. You know, maybe you could try that in and get a gremlin.

8:57🔗 Drew Yeah. Okay.

8:58🔗 Adam Seriously.

8:59🔗 Drew But when the show Vegas came out, wasn't that redemption for the Drewster?

9:04🔗 Adam Yeah. But I was away somewhere at school, and I couldn't drive anyway.

9:07🔗 Drew All right. All right. Brandon?

9:10🔗 Yes.

9:10🔗 Drew You're 17.

9:12🔗 Caller Correct.

9:12🔗 Drew What's up?

9:13🔗 Caller Wanted to know about Blue Balls. Wanted to know if this was something that only occurred after the first time of masturbation, or is this something that...

9:20🔗 Adam First time? What, what, what?

9:22🔗 Caller After the first time of masturbation, is this something that just happens then? Or had a friend tell me that it only happens after you masturbate, at least once.

9:31🔗 Adam At least once what? At least once an hour, at least once a day?

9:35🔗 Caller Just after the first time ever.

9:37🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, it's common knowledge that the first load that comes out of your penis is blue in color, and then after that is when it turns a sort of white hue. So, yes, that's where that comes from, Brandon. Your friend's absolutely right. Yeah. I'd listen to him about everything. Does he have any stock he wants you to buy or anything like that?

9:58🔗 Adam Land he's trying to sell?

9:58🔗 Drew Yeah. He's a Nostradamus kid. He's a genius.

10:03🔗 Adam All that refers to, Brandon, is the build up congestion that occurs when one has sexual arousal that is not relieved by ejaculation. That's what it means.

10:14🔗 Drew See what I'm saying?

10:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:15🔗 Drew Okay.

10:16🔗 Caller Got you. Exactly.

10:17🔗 Drew You all right?

10:17🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

10:18🔗 Drew And Drew, you claim that's not a phenomenon, but it is.

10:20🔗 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no. I said men overstate it. They use it. It can happen. With spontaneous combustion.

10:56🔗 Drew Yeah. My grandfather died of blue balls. My father's currently undergoing blue ball surgery. And I'm barely 35 here and I already got it. So what can we do about that? Only you can help.

11:08🔗 Adam I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

11:09🔗 Drew Yeah. I'm sorry. Really? Yeah. I won't enjoy this. Now hold still. Daniel? You're 20. What's up?

11:19🔗 Caller I was wondering if you'd tell me what some of the, you know, early signs of pregnancy are because I kind of wonder if my girlfriend's pregnant or not.

11:26🔗 Adam What's up with her?

11:28🔗 Caller Well, last week, you know, we had sex for the first time without a rubber. The first time we didn't use condom. And, you know, I didn't cum inside her. I pulled out. Maybe a little pre-cum.

11:40🔗 Drew Yeah. Real pre-cum. Yeah. You know, the smooth move is to cum Donner. That's a class move. That's the way James Bond did it.

11:53🔗 Caller That's one of the kind of early signs. Watch out for it.

11:55🔗 Adam What does she got going?

11:57🔗 Caller Well, so far, she's like been saying she's been nauseous lately.

12:00🔗 Adam All right. What else?

12:02🔗 Caller And, you know, she's hadn't had her period yet.

12:06🔗 Adam There you go. It's number two. Anything else?

12:10🔗 Drew There's a head peeking out of her vagina.

12:12🔗 Adam Frowning. Exactly.

12:13🔗 Drew All right.

12:14🔗 Adam I mean, you got a few of the good signs there. So how long ago was this encounter?

12:19🔗 Drew Hold on a second. Drew, do you need to ask any more questions or can you just listen to Daniel's twang to know that she's pregnant?

12:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

12:27🔗 Drew Do you know what I'm saying?

12:27🔗 Adam And that he doesn't have teeth.

12:29🔗 Drew Like, if he was, if he sounded like he was from-

12:32🔗 Adam Sir Walter Raleigh.

12:33🔗 Drew Sir Walter Raleigh, you'd say she probably wasn't.

12:35🔗 Right.

12:36🔗 Drew But we know, I'll tell you how we can find out whether she's pregnant. Where do you work, Daniel?

12:42🔗 Caller I work at the veterinarian's hospital.

12:43🔗 Drew Uh-huh. Do you make under $10 an hour?

12:46🔗 Caller Right now, yeah.

12:47🔗 Drew Yeah? All right, she's pregnant.

12:49🔗 Adam Why did you, how long ago was this experience?

12:52🔗 Caller It was just last week when, like, the first time I went without a condom.

12:56🔗 Adam Less than a week ago?

12:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:58🔗 Adam Not, not ten days ago, but a week ago.

13:00🔗 Caller Well, it's been about six or seven days.

13:02🔗 Adam Well, it's unlikely she'd feel anything in six or seven days. It's also, you know, how.

13:06🔗 Caller She was, her period, she was doing her period, I think, said Sunday.

13:11🔗 Adam All right. So maybe just worrying about it has made her late. But, you know, in another week, get a pregnancy test, all right?

13:15🔗 Caller By who is going to do this? Look, if she didn't have her period by this weekend, I'm going to take a pregnancy test.

13:19🔗 Adam There you go.

13:20🔗 Drew Hey, Daniel?

13:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

13:21🔗 Drew I don't know much about veterinary medicine, but I know those pregnancy tests are at least 14 bucks. You could probably steal something from the shop that would probably be some kind of indicator.

13:31🔗 Adam That's a nice plan. Inject your urine directly into a rabbit or something like that.

13:35🔗 Drew Hash something out. Save yourself a buck, all right?

13:38🔗 All right. All right, Daniel.

13:41🔗 Adam You understand that's where the rabbit died?

13:43🔗 Drew Yeah. Is that how they did it? I know they used a rabbit to find out whether women were pregnant. How long ago? Up until when? Last week. Was it just last week?

13:54🔗 Adam Today's Tuesday. Yeah, 400 years ago.

13:58🔗 Drew Was it 400?

13:59🔗 Adam No, it was 100 years ago. I don't know. Not in modern medical days.

14:04🔗 Drew Well, how would they measure it in modern?

14:08🔗 Adam Urine or blood.

14:08🔗 Drew Urine or blood. But how well could they work up blood 100 years ago?

14:13🔗 Adam 100 years ago, they might have used stuff like that.

14:16🔗 Drew The rabbit.

14:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:17🔗 Drew Why would the rabbit die?

14:18🔗 Adam I don't know.

14:20🔗 Drew Don't you think the rabbit would die? You don't know?

14:21🔗 Adam Really?

14:22🔗 Drew Wow. If you inject a rabbit with urine and the woman's not doing it.

14:25🔗 Adam It should die anyway.

14:26🔗 Drew Yeah. Anything would die?

14:27🔗 Adam That's what I would think.

14:27🔗 Drew Certainly be humiliated.

14:29🔗 Adam Right. Presumably it's the beta-HCG, which is what you're measuring when you check a pregnancy test. That does something to a rabbit, I guess.

14:36🔗 Guest Wow.

14:37🔗 Drew If not, I said the rabbit is fine with the urine. I don't know.

14:41🔗 Adam Maybe someone's calling to us.

14:42🔗 Guest He just grossed out. The rabbit's just a little disgusted.

14:44🔗 Drew They have to inject it into the bloodstream of the rabbit?

14:47🔗 Adam Why don't we get somebody to call who actually knows the answer to this? I know nothing about that history.

14:51🔗 Drew Do you think it was an injection? You do. It wasn't consumed by the rabbit or dropped in the rabbit's eye or something like that?

14:58🔗 Adam I just don't know if it was intravenous or intraabdominal or muscular.

15:01🔗 Drew Okay. But it was injected. But when did they start coming out with syringes and that kind of thing? Is that more than 150, 175 years ago? That would be a great question. Because they couldn't have injected something unless they had a way to inject it. All I do know is it's in Walk This Way. That's a very famous Aerosmith song. The Rabbit Went and Died. Yes, he did. You know what I'm talking about?

15:26🔗 Guest No.

15:27🔗 Drew Yeah. You guys know what I'm talking about? Come on, Aerosmith.

15:29🔗 Guest I know the song. I'm not familiar with that lyric.

15:31🔗 Drew Listen to it.

15:32🔗 Guest All right. I will.

15:33🔗 Drew I'm going to work that lyric out and recite it. Mike? You're 21.

15:39🔗 Caller Right.

15:40🔗 Caller Yeah. First time caller, long time listener.

15:42🔗 Drew Rabbit up and died.

15:43🔗 Yes, you did.

15:45🔗 Caller All right.

15:46🔗 Caller Me and my girlfriend have sex very frequently, right? Once or twice a day. And she was telling me that there was some kind of thigh master type deal that's not quite used between your knees closer to the vagina. And I was wondering if there was a way that could tighten her vagina up a little bit.

16:08🔗 Adam What's the problem?

16:09🔗 Caller It's a little looser than it was, I would say, when we started to get together.

16:15🔗 Adam Nonsense.

16:16🔗 Caller Nonsense.

16:17🔗 Adam Your penis is more likely to have shrunk.

16:18🔗 Drew How old is she? How dare you, Drew?

16:21🔗 Adam I think that's probably what happens.

16:22🔗 Caller She's 20 and I'm 21.

16:24🔗 Drew Oh, yes. At the ripe old age of 20, the vagina, it'll fall off by 23.

16:30🔗 Caller Is that true?

16:31🔗 Drew Well, maybe not fall off, but it certainly won't be much holding it on. Well, how could it have stretched out from sex?

16:41🔗 Caller Yeah, she used to be really tight. It took a few times for her to actually get it inside her.

16:45🔗 Adam That's because she was having muscle spasms. She was nervous.

16:48🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:48🔗 Adam It had nothing to do with anything.

16:50🔗 Caller So it didn't actually stretch out?

16:51🔗 Adam No. Right. No.

16:53🔗 Drew That's why you should have worked the roofie angle, Mike. She tensed up on you.

16:58🔗 Caller OK. And I got one more quick question.

17:00🔗 Drew Wait a second. Maybe not only was it that vaginismus that Drew was talking about, but maybe there's a lubrication factor here.

17:09🔗 Caller No. We've done, you know, lubrication. And that doesn't seem to be the case. It seems we split up for a little bit and we got back together. And now it seems that it takes a little bit longer for me to get feeling.

17:25🔗 Drew She was with a black guy, right? Could be.

17:28🔗 Caller Not as far as I know.

17:29🔗 Drew Well, probably. I mean, most likely. That's the way you ought to figure it.

17:33🔗 Caller Well, it could be a possibility.

17:34🔗 Drew OK, Mike.

17:35🔗 Caller But I got another quick question. This is kind of off the wall and it's your doctor.

17:39🔗 Caller Really?

17:41🔗 Caller OK, why is it whenever you're standing around, you know, a group of people and one person, you know, seems to yawn, another person seems to need, you know, have the feeling to yawn as well?

17:51🔗 Adam It's only when you're standing around a group of people though, Adam, understand.

17:54🔗 Drew You mean saying if they're in the next county and they yawn, you don't yawn? How do you know? I mean, you could yawn when you're all alone in your living room and it could be because someone else yawned.

18:02🔗 Guest Somebody far away is yawn.

18:03🔗 Drew Think about that. I bet someone else is yawned.

18:06🔗 Adam And reading about yawning, hearing yawn, any of that causes yawn. Watching a parakeet yawn causes you yawn, not just hanging around people. And all mammals do that. No one knows what they're doing.

18:16🔗 Drew But some sort of sympathetic response. But you still don't know why the rabbit up and died.

18:22🔗 Adam No, I don't know that. Somebody will call it that.

18:24🔗 Drew Walk this way. I gotta figure out that song. Anderson, Anderson you'll get it for me. Yes you did. Ba-da-da-da-da.

18:33🔗 Yeah?

18:34🔗 Drew Okay. You know Aerosmith is one of your worst groups to try to sing. You never really think about it.

18:40🔗 Guest You can't sing it.

18:41🔗 Drew But you can't sing an Aerosmith song.

18:42🔗 Guest You gotta scream in Aerosmith.

18:43🔗 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

18:44🔗 Drew That's what it is. Tom?

18:47🔗 Yeah.

18:48🔗 Drew Where, Drew, tilt that screen down. Okay, I can barely read that thing. Ah, there you go. 29.

18:53🔗 Yes.

18:54🔗 Drew What's up?

18:55🔗 Caller Well, my question is actually for Dr. Drew.

18:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:57🔗 Caller Adam, I just gotta tell you, I love your show.

19:00🔗 Drew Thank you.

19:01🔗 Caller Girlfriend of all...

19:01🔗 Adam This is his show, too, by the way, in case people don't remember that.

19:03🔗 Drew Oh, yes. It is my show.

19:06🔗 Thank you.

19:08🔗 Caller My question is, my girlfriend over the past two months has had four periods. Now, I'm going to school down here in Atlanta to be a chiropractor. And I think she has something that's called metrorasia. Did I say that right?

19:24🔗 Adam This means heavy period.

19:25🔗 Caller Yes. I'm trying to figure out what could be causing that. I mean, looking up stuff, I know it could be by endometriosis or polyps.

19:36🔗 Adam It could be a million things. Most of them are completely normal. Has she ever had irregular periods before?

19:42🔗 Caller Not that I know.

19:42🔗 Adam Is she on any medication?

19:44🔗 Caller Well, she's on the... She's a diabetic, so she's on insulin.

19:47🔗 Adam Okay, so diabetics get all kinds of irregular periods for multiple reasons. How has her glycemic control been?

19:54🔗 Caller She has to take shots.

19:55🔗 Adam How has it been? How has the control been?

19:57🔗 Caller It's been pretty good. When she does the blood glucose level, it's always pretty much right around normal. But she's insulin dependent.

20:05🔗 Drew Hey, Tom?

20:06🔗 Adam Yeah?

20:06🔗 Drew I got bad news for you. Drew does not like chiropractors. He doesn't look at them as doctors. He doesn't like them passing themselves off as doctors.

20:14🔗 Caller I'm not one of those chiropractors that thinks I'm an MD. I know there's a spot for everybody.

20:18🔗 Drew There you go. That's what he wants. He wants you to bow before him. He wants you to be humble. That's all.

20:24🔗 Adam No, no, no.

20:25🔗 Drew He didn't have his folks pay for all that college so he could have some hot shot chiropractor upstage him. Right, Drew?

20:31🔗 Adam That's right, Adam. You're always right. But there's multiple, multiple reasons for this. And most of, you know, not many of which are going to require any treatment. And the kinds of treatments are just nominal. Like you're putting on the pill, that sort of thing. And she is diabetic, so she has plenty of reasons to have endocrine disturbances.

20:48🔗 Drew All right. Let's get to our next call. Nikki and Nick are both here from the, Nikki, the new show on WB. Yes, sir. Yeah, if you say the, it'll screw you up from the Nikki show. That's coming up 930 Sunday night on the Deva Deva Deva WB. Carter.

21:07🔗 Hello.

21:08🔗 Drew Hello. You're 19. What's up?

21:09🔗 Caller Hey. Okay. I'm calling because I'm still super impatuated with my ex-girlfriend. Right. To give you a little bit of background, like I'm a student at Washington State University in Sochi, and we went out for like four months, and we broke up right at the start of the summer, and all summer I was just like, forget about it, whatever, you know? And I just tried to put her out of my mind, and I just kind of like started doing other stuff, but it all went back to her. Like I started writing some songs, and they were all about her, and I wrote a whole play all about our relationship, and I thought that while I was doing it, it would help me like get over her.

21:47🔗 Adam No.

21:48🔗 Guest I'm sure you scared her.

21:49🔗 Caller Well, and now like, and like I'm a theater major.

21:53🔗 Drew Plus, you're showing her the script for I'm going to kill you bitch. That's probably not a great plan.

21:59🔗 Adam Bad.

22:00🔗 Drew Theater major.

22:01🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I submitted it for the student one acts, and it's getting put on, and I thought this whole thing would like, I thought that was really like just closure for the relationship. But like every time I see her, and like we hang out because she still wants to be like.

22:17🔗 Adam Have you ever done this in any other time in your life?

22:20🔗 Caller No. She was like my really big serious girlfriend.

22:23🔗 Drew Well, wait a minute, four months.

22:25🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, like nothing. We like did a lot of stuff.

22:30🔗 Drew Oh, I see. Well, if you guys saw each other, that's different.

22:33🔗 Adam If you did stop, that's huge.

22:35🔗 Drew You guys went out and saw her. What did you do? Eat or something? It's a movie.

22:38🔗 Adam Coffee.

22:39🔗 Drew She like, you know what I love about this show? I'm an asshole and so is everyone else when they get in here. It's great. It's great. Drew used to be a nice guy. And I know Nikki is a nice person, but boy, the guy trips. We're all going to kick him.

22:55🔗 You're contagious.

22:56🔗 Drew Come on. You want some of this? Put your boot on. Come on.

22:59🔗 Bring it on.

23:00🔗 Drew The water's warm. Come on in. Oh, his nuts are open. Give him a good shot, Nikki.

23:04🔗 Great.

23:04🔗 Guest I'll do my best.

23:05🔗 Drew Yeah. It was a nice shot. You just missed his kidney. See if you can do better next time.

23:11🔗 Guest I'll try.

23:12🔗 Drew All right. So let me ask a few good questions here. Did she break up with you?

23:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

23:20🔗 Drew And why? What reasons did she say?

23:22🔗 Caller Just like it was the summer was coming up and I, we weren't going back to the same hometown. And she said she thought of me as more as a friend and she just wanted to be friends and stuff. Right.

23:34🔗 Adam Not good.

23:35🔗 Caller And I don't know. It's like whenever I hang out with her, because I do all the time because she's also in theater. And it's just like, I just, all I can think about is how I just want to get back together with her.

23:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

23:45🔗 Caller And I don't know. Now I'm like, and when I'm like...

23:47🔗 Drew All right. Slow down there, Carter. How much into her, honestly, were you when you guys were together?

23:55🔗 Caller I don't know. Like, she was my first real serious girlfriend.

23:59🔗 Adam But at the time you were involved, you were very involved, though.

24:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:01🔗 Adam As far as you were concerned.

24:02🔗 Caller Like, I, like, yeah, like I thought it was always being together.

24:05🔗 Drew You did.

24:06🔗 Caller And I just, like, and when I compare any other girl to Sarah, I just, like, no one matches up, you know.

24:12🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Holland Oates already wrote a Sarah song. What is this one called?

24:17🔗 Caller Oh, I don't have any names for them, they're all untitled.

24:20🔗 Drew Yeah. Can you sing us a little of the Sarah song?

24:25🔗 Caller I don't have my guitar with me and I'd rather not. I'm a little nervous.

24:29🔗 Drew Well, you do. Hold on. You do those one acts, right? I mean, you are a talent. You're a theater major?

24:35🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. I'm very talented.

24:36🔗 Drew You should be able to perform.

24:38🔗 Caller Well, I can recite you a Shakespearean Silicui if you want.

24:41🔗 Drew Well, I'm going to hear that in a minute, but at first I'd like to hear some of the lyrics to the Ode to Sarah song. Could you please?

24:48🔗 Caller Do I really have to? I'd really rather do that.

24:50🔗 Drew You can do that and I'll do Walk This Way by Aerosmith.

24:54🔗 Adam I just want to know more about it.

24:54🔗 You want me to sing Walk This Way?

24:56🔗 Drew No, I'll do that.

24:56🔗 You do the Sarah song.

24:58🔗 Adam You come from a broken family?

25:00🔗 Caller My parents are divorced.

25:01🔗 Adam How old were you when they broke up?

25:03🔗 Caller How old was I? I was 12.

25:05🔗 Adam How were things before that happened?

25:07🔗 Caller How were things before that? They weren't very well. I hated my dad. But now we get along real well.

25:15🔗 Adam Why did you hate him?

25:17🔗 Caller I just didn't get along with him at all. He was a pretty unhappy person. He's a lot better now that he's not with my mom.

25:23🔗 Drew I see. Was your mom pain in the ass?

25:25🔗 Caller Yeah, she's pretty bad.

25:26🔗 Drew Overdomineering?

25:28🔗 Caller Yeah. She pretty much always had to get her way.

25:30🔗 Drew Okay. Listen, Carter, do you ever think about the lads?

25:35🔗 Caller The what?

25:35🔗 Drew The boys, the fellas?

25:37🔗 Adam You're gay.

25:38🔗 Drew Drew, hold on. Hold on. Hold on, Drew. How dare you?

25:41🔗 Adam I didn't say that.

25:42🔗 Drew How dare you? Shut Drew's mic off. Let's talk to Carter. Drew, no more outbursts. Carter, what about the guys? What about the fellas?

25:49🔗 Caller Um, what? What do you?

25:52🔗 Drew What do you mean? Do you ever think about them?

25:56🔗 Caller I don't know. Not like a ton.

25:59🔗 Drew But a little bit.

26:01🔗 Caller I don't know. Isn't it normal to sometimes?

26:03🔗 Drew A little fantasy about a man once in a while.

26:05🔗 Caller Yeah, maybe.

26:06🔗 Drew Yes. And we all do.

26:08🔗 Caller Right.

26:09🔗 Drew Yeah. I fantasize about beating them up and banging their girlfriends, but it still involves men. It's true. Bobcats. Oh, yes. He's on my list.

26:19🔗 And Kimmel.

26:23🔗 Drew And so you do think about men sexually a little bit? Yeah. I mean, it's part of being a theater major. You know, maybe, maybe.

26:33🔗 Adam Nick's a theater major too, by the way.

26:34🔗 Drew Oh, sorry.

26:35🔗 Adam He has fantasized about beating the crap out of guys that make theater majors.

26:38🔗 Talk show hogs.

26:41🔗 Drew Do you, do you ever, have you ever been with a guy?

26:46🔗 Caller No, no, no. I'm not gay or anything.

26:48🔗 Drew But what about Bi?

26:50🔗 Caller I don't know. I've never thought, I don't know. I mean, there's been a couple of times when I've seen guys and I'm just like, man, I'd really like to kiss that guy. How gay are you?

26:58🔗 Drew Well, making out. That's nothing.

27:00🔗 Caller I don't know. I've never really taken it.

27:02🔗 Drew Okay. All right. Hey, Carter.

27:04🔗 Caller Yeah?

27:06🔗 Drew This is a vibe that my partner got from you when you first called in. And maybe it's worth checking into a little bit.

27:15🔗 Caller Really?

27:16🔗 Drew Maybe this girl represents your heterosexuality that is leaving you. And because you don't want to enter this new world, you fight tooth and nail to get her back. But in a way, it's like you're trying to win back your heterosexuality.

27:31🔗 Caller Okay.

27:32🔗 Drew Nice.

27:33🔗 Adam And or there could be some...

27:35🔗 Drew Okay, you get some sleep, all right buddy?

27:37🔗 Adam Wait, wait, wait.

27:38🔗 Caller Have fun.

27:39🔗 Adam And there could be some intermediate feelings about women. The whole thing could be poorly formed, you know what I mean? His whole sense of himself and the sexual identity could be very confused. And he's cleaning up all sorts of things right now.

27:49🔗 Drew Okay, Carter? Yeah? Here's all I'm saying. I want to take the pressure off you. And off of this girl. If you think you may be interested in guys, or maybe this is a feeling that's creeping up on you a little, and maybe you're trying to push it out, maybe you ought to just relax a little and live with those feelings. Not necessarily act on them, but don't put everything in the lap of this ex-girl.

28:11🔗 Adam It's got less to do with her than you think. At least realize she represents a lot of things to you more than just an important relationship.

28:18🔗 Drew All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. Nick and Nikki are both here from the Nikki Show, or from Nikki WB, 930 Sunday Nights. We'll be back after this.

28:32🔗 Caller Um, back in a minute.

29:04🔗 Drew Hey, hey, hey, yeah, Love Line. I'm Adam Farage, Dr. Drew. Over there, phone number, 1-800-LLVE-191. Cypress Hill is coming in here on Thursday. And Brian, who is that, Kraus from Charmed? I love that Charmed.

29:23🔗 Really?

29:23🔗 Drew Uh-huh.

29:25🔗 Yeah.

29:26🔗 How about that? Yeah.

29:27🔗 Drew Another show.

29:29🔗 Adam You also like Nikki, don't you?

29:30🔗 Drew Another show I love is that Nikki Show. Thank you. I got some pre-screening tapes of that. As you know, I get all the stuff sent over my house because the networks want me to see the new fall season before it comes out. Give any notes or tweaks I might have on some of the shows. No notes on Nikki, by the way. I said, don't touch it. It's a masterpiece. Just wait for the paint to dry and stand back. Everyone have a cigarette and relax. Nikki Cox is our guest along with Nick von Esmarch. Did I get that? Yeah. Yeah. Is that a German name? It is. Nice.

30:04🔗 Adam Adam, how did you? We're too up with that.

30:06🔗 Caller Oh, no. Pretty good.

30:09🔗 Drew Yeah. Thank you. I either knew you were German or a Korean and I just went with German. WB, Sunday Nights at 930 Vegas everybody. That's all you need to know. Joy?

30:23🔗 Hello?

30:23🔗 Drew Year 14, what's up?

30:25🔗 Well, first I want to say Adam, you're a god.

30:27🔗 Drew There you go. Nothing wrong with that. Is there anything better in god by the way? That's a little old. Something a little bigger, something a little better? Well. We'll work on that one. Okay.

30:39🔗 Well, Dr. Drew, no offense or anything, you remind me of Ben Stein.

30:44🔗 Adam That's a good thing.

30:46🔗 Drew Yeah, it's great.

30:47🔗 Anderson? Anderson?

30:52🔗 Drew Ben's an excellent guy.

30:55🔗 I have a problem with guys. Nobody likes me at school.

30:58🔗 Drew Why not?

30:59🔗 I have no idea.

31:00🔗 Drew What do you look like?

31:01🔗 Well, blonde, dyed my hair red. Nice.

31:07🔗 Adam Dress in black? Dress in black?

31:10🔗 What?

31:10🔗 Adam You dress in black?

31:12🔗 No.

31:12🔗 Adam Black fingernail polish?

31:13🔗 No.

31:14🔗 Drew Bone through your nose?

31:15🔗 No.

31:16🔗 Drew Aggressive piercings?

31:17🔗 No.

31:18🔗 Adam No piercings.

31:18🔗 Drew Bad attitude problem?

31:20🔗 Sort of.

31:21🔗 Drew Yeah. You walk around looking down, pissed off all the time?

31:25🔗 Sometimes.

31:26🔗 Adam Why don't people like that? I don't understand.

31:28🔗 Drew Yeah. Because you repel people, and then you want to know why they're not attracted to you.

31:32🔗 Well, I don't repel them. They, like, just lock me out of their world.

31:36🔗 Adam Well, you just described how you repel them.

31:38🔗 Drew Hold on. What world does anyone have? You get locked out of their world.

31:43🔗 Oh, you have, like, 20 clicks at our school.

31:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:48🔗 Drew Yeah. I don't know. I went to high school.

31:51🔗 It was a long time ago.

31:52🔗 Drew Yeah. I drove my Stutz Bearcat in there. I wore a raccoon coat. I dressed like Fred McMurray in Flubber. But I went to high school. And, you know, all that talk about clicks and jocks and all, I think it's way overrated. I think there's some... No, here's what I mean by you guys. There's a handful of people that alienate themselves from the group so they can complain about why they've been alienated from the group. You just dress like a human being, hold your head up a little, say hi to people when they're coming down the hall, and they're not going to give you a hard time.

32:28🔗 Caller Okay.

32:28🔗 Drew Now, here's the question. Why are you pushing yourself out of the mix?

32:32🔗 Adam Your parents treated you like crap at some point, right?

32:34🔗 Caller Well, like, I've never wanted in my, like, I've been to, like, three different schools and I've never wanted there.

32:41🔗 Adam Why have you been going to all these different schools?

32:42🔗 Drew Nobody wants you at school. They just don't care. That's all. Where else? What do you think? We were all, like, recruited by our principals or something?

32:52🔗 Guest Please join us.

32:53🔗 Drew It was a big campaign. Yeah, I was courted by a few schools, at Grant, North Hollywood, and Sylmar. I settled on Sylmar.

33:00🔗 Guest Wise choice.

33:01🔗 Drew Yeah, I stand by it.

33:02🔗 Adam Did your parents abandon you too?

33:05🔗 Caller No. They just, they're just weird.

33:09🔗 Adam What's their deal?

33:10🔗 Caller Well, my mom had a brain tumor and they're all, they're mad at me all the time. They blame me for everything in the house.

33:17🔗 All right.

33:18🔗 Adam Well, that's. There you go.

33:20🔗 Drew And so you bring that to school. Hey, Joy.

33:23🔗 What?

33:23🔗 Drew Here's basically, by the way, who named you Joy?

33:26🔗 Caller My parents.

33:27🔗 Drew Yeah, that didn't seem like a good thinking. What happened to the crystal ball? Hey, Joy?

33:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:33🔗 Drew I know we're busting your chops, but here's the reality. You have a situation going on at home where people don't make you feel too good. Okay? And now you're taking that to school and you're getting exactly what you predict.

33:45🔗 Adam What you put out. Yeah.

33:47🔗 Drew You decide nobody wants you. You create a sort of persona where people don't want you and lo and behold, you're not disappointed. They don't want you.

33:55🔗 Adam People won't disappoint. Both directions.

33:58🔗 Drew Right.

33:58🔗 Adam You open yourself up to them, they won't disappoint.

34:01🔗 Drew Right.

34:01🔗 Adam You repel them, they don't disappoint.

34:03🔗 Drew Here's the deal with the world and everybody. No one cares about you. It's a grandiose thought to think that people are spending a lot of time thinking about you. Here's how people work. They see a nice, open person, a gregarious person, a warm person, feels good to be around, a person that likes to laugh and has a smile on their face, they want to be around them. They see a person that is walking, looking angry with their head down, they cross the other side of the street. They treat people just like you treat a dog. You're walking down the street, see something wagging its tail and slobbering all over the place, you call it over. You see a dog that's looking like it's going to bite, you go to the other side of the street and you keep walking. That's it. That's how the world works. In high school, it's just sort of a microcosm of the world. So if you want to-

34:47🔗 Adam It's just a big cage. You throw them all in.

34:49🔗 Drew Yes. It's a segment of the world that has a fence around it. And you got to live there for four years. All right. So open yourself up a little and you'll get it back. Ryan?

35:00🔗 Caller Yes.

35:01🔗 Drew You're 24.

35:02🔗 Caller Yes.

35:03🔗 Drew What's up?

35:04🔗 Caller Well, thanks for taking my call.

35:06🔗 Drew All right.

35:07🔗 Caller Well, I'm having trouble, like, ejaculating when I have sex.

35:11🔗 Adam Can you say that word again? You have trouble what?

35:12🔗 Caller Ejaculating.

35:14🔗 Drew You're hoping he's going to say it wrong again.

35:17🔗 You were.

35:19🔗 Adam I became an asshole.

35:21🔗 Drew Yeah, I know. It's great.

35:22🔗 Adam I know.

35:23🔗 Drew And you know how you know how all people are evil, by the way? Is you ever tell a story in front of some people and you mispronounce a word, a word that you know well and a word they know you know well?

35:34🔗 Adam What was that?

35:34🔗 Drew And as you before you can correct yourself, everyone jumps on you. You can't articulate, you can't articulate yourself any better than that. Yeah. Now I could say articulate and not articulate. And before I could correct myself, if I was sitting around with my buddies, they would have pounced on me.

35:51🔗 Adam Oh, how about what's my dad doing in Israel? And we all just nailed you for that. Remember that?

35:56🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

35:59🔗 Drew He had a group of people in here along with Drew. And this woman, this girl called in.

36:04🔗 Adam Do you have that?

36:05🔗 Drew Do you have that? No.

36:06🔗 Adam Do you have just the Israel part?

36:08🔗 Drew She called in and I said, where's your dad?

36:10🔗 Caller My dad's in Israel.

36:12🔗 Drew Sarah, what's your dad doing in Israel?

36:14🔗 What's my dad doing in Israel?

36:17🔗 Drew She said, my dad's in Israel. But it sounded like she said, my dad's in Israel.

36:21🔗 Adam Play that again. Play it again.

36:23🔗 Drew Where's your dad?

36:24🔗 Caller My dad's in Israel.

36:26🔗 Drew Sarah, what's your dad? Where's your dad?

36:28🔗 Caller My dad's in Israel.

36:30🔗 Adam You can hear it now.

36:30🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. I thought she said her dad was in Israel. So I said, what's your dad doing in Israel? And everyone in the room jumped on me. What are you, an idiot? What do you mean an idiot? Israel?

36:40🔗 Caller What kind of an idiot are you?

36:41🔗 Adam Israel.

36:42🔗 Caller It was great.

36:44🔗 Caller I'm having trouble like ejaculating.

36:51🔗 We were talking about that with Ryan.

36:52🔗 Drew Ryan, yeah. All right. So you're still ejaculating.

36:58🔗 Caller Yeah. The only thing that really gets me off is when I like dry jack off without like lotion or anything.

37:04🔗 Drew Okay. Nice.

37:05🔗 Caller Anytime.

37:06🔗 Drew Hey, that's my move.

37:08🔗 Caller Anytime any kind of lubricant is involved.

37:09🔗 Drew Say thousands over the years, maybe millions.

37:11🔗 Adam Anytime what?

37:12🔗 Caller Anytime any kind of lubricant is involved, I can't.

37:17🔗 Adam What if you sort of accustom yourself to a lubricant?

37:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

37:20🔗 Adam How? Practice.

37:22🔗 Drew Or you do what I do. I'm a dry run guy myself and I had difficulty with women, so I always keep a handful of sawdust to toss in the vagina. Or kitty litter, kitty litter. It works on transmission fluid. It'll work on the vagina. Hey, Ryan.

37:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:45🔗 Drew So you're saying that you're a dry run guy, and so when you get with a woman, you're not getting the same friction, right?

37:52🔗 Caller Well, I'm gay, but- Oh.

37:55🔗 Adam So why are you with women?

37:56🔗 Caller I'm not.

37:57🔗 Drew No, he's with the guys.

37:59🔗 Adam I thought he said with women.

38:00🔗 Drew No, I said with-

38:01🔗 Adam I thought he said with women.

38:02🔗 Drew I don't think he said with women.

38:03🔗 Adam He just said when he was having sex.

38:05🔗 Drew He was banging this dude in Israel. I think so. Hey, Ryan.

38:09🔗 Caller Yes.

38:10🔗 Drew So are you sodomizing young fellas?

38:16🔗 Caller Not young fellas.

38:18🔗 Drew Medium-aged guys?

38:18🔗 Adam How about during oral sex?

38:19🔗 Drew Old queens?

38:20🔗 Caller Oral sex is the same way. It's like any time-

38:22🔗 Adam Wet.

38:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:24🔗 Adam Well, why don't you just- what about mutual masturbation, that kind of thing?

38:27🔗 Caller Yeah, I do that a lot.

38:28🔗 Drew That's fine. Okay, but what kind of time is that? And-

38:33🔗 Caller Well, I mean, everything else still feels good.

38:35🔗 Adam If he likes it, what the hell?

38:36🔗 Caller I still do everything else. A lot of times we end on mutual masturbation.

38:39🔗 Adam He could avoid some STD risk. It's kind of nice.

38:42🔗 Drew I guess if you're gay, you just kind of- you just go with what feels good, right?

38:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

38:47🔗 Drew I mean, it's not like you got to do something. Just as long as you get off, right?

38:52🔗 Adam There's no end result.

38:54🔗 Drew Well, what I mean is is-

38:56🔗 Adam There's no reproduction involved.

38:58🔗 Drew No, I don't even mean that. I'm just sort of talking about in the eyes of God. Like, and your buddies. What I'm saying is is when you're straight and you have sex or you're having intimate contact with someone, you feel like, well, if I didn't get this or that, I didn't kind of complete the mission. Or like, I didn't, I need to, yeah, like, we screwed around and I got off, but we never had any intercourse. I didn't get a BJ. You walk away, feel like you want some of your money back from dinner, right? But if you, if, but when you're gay, it's like, hey, we got to get off. I don't care. Put the bowling pin in your ass. I'm going to film you. You stand over here. Let's bring my kid in. He can watch do a somersault or whatever it is. Put these fins on whatever it just get off, right?

39:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

39:46🔗 Drew Is that right?

39:47🔗 Adam I don't know.

39:48🔗 Drew Well, Drew, what was it like in college for you?

39:51🔗 Adam I said no sex.

39:52🔗 Drew No sex. OK. Ryan, are you circumcised?

39:56🔗 Yes, you are. All right.

39:58🔗 Drew I'm with Drew, which is you have to start simulating the anus when you masturbate.

40:04🔗 Yeah.

40:05🔗 Drew See what I'm saying?

40:07🔗 Adam If that's your goal.

40:08🔗 Drew If that's your goal. And as a gay man, it should be your ultimate goal, the anus. Right. Right. Right. So here's what you do. You take your thumb and your forefinger and you make that OK sign. So you tighten it up just a little bit. And if you want to rub a little smelly on it, just to give a certain sense of realism, that's fine. And then you put some lubricant in that area. And then you use that to masturbate. And then when you, so use lube when you masturbate. And it's going to be OK.

40:46🔗 Caller All right? All right.

40:47🔗 Drew I'm telling you, you start getting used to orgasming with a handful of lotion on your Johnson and everything's going to work out with your partner. You hear me?

40:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:59🔗 Drew That's right. You got to drill, drill, drill. You understand? You got to use again practice. No, I mean, when the military goes on maneuvers, they give them guns and give them mop handles.

41:13🔗 That's right.

41:14🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good.

41:16🔗 All right.

41:16🔗 Drew We'll take ourselves a little break. Nick and Nikki are both here from Nikki, WB 930 Sunday Nights and we'll be back after this.

41:27🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back, so get your problems ready, ready, ready.

42:03🔗 Drew Yeah. Nicky and Nick are both here from Nicky, the new show on WB, coming up this Sunday night at 9.30, right after the show that's on right before it, which is...

42:18🔗 Adam That show that's right before Nicky.

42:20🔗 Drew Hype. He knows.

42:21🔗 Adam Hype.

42:21🔗 Drew Hype is on. It's about junkies and the hypodermic needle. No, what is Hype about?

42:28🔗 It's a sketch comedy show.

42:29🔗 Drew Oh, it is?

42:30🔗 It's for the Warner Brothers.

42:31🔗 Drew Nice. A little urban flavor perhaps?

42:34🔗 Yeah, they're pretty crazy.

42:36🔗 Drew Fancy. I think that they're going that direction there. All right. Neil. You. You're 21.

42:43🔗 Caller You mentioned.

42:44🔗 Drew What is up?

42:45🔗 Caller Adam, you kick ass, man.

42:46🔗 Drew Thank you.

42:47🔗 Caller You're funny as a man on TV and radio.

42:49🔗 Adam What's the question, Neil?

42:50🔗 Drew Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

42:54🔗 Caller For the last few weeks, I've been taking Ultram.

42:57🔗 Adam How much?

42:58🔗 Caller Well, 50 milligrams.

43:00🔗 Drew What's that for, Drew?

43:01🔗 Adam Pain.

43:02🔗 Caller All right. I used to take, like when I had my HMO.

43:06🔗 Adam Vicodin.

43:07🔗 Caller No, they give me Tylenol-3.

43:09🔗 Adam Same thing.

43:11🔗 Caller That wouldn't take the pain away. And so they should think I was kind of like addicted to pain meds.

43:17🔗 Adam That's what it sounds like.

43:19🔗 Drew If Vicodin is the same as Tylenol-3?

43:21🔗 Adam Tylenol-3 is codeine, Vicodin is hydrocodone.

43:23🔗 Drew What about drinking with Vicodin, though? Does that screw your liver up?

43:27🔗 Adam If you're taking lots of Vicodin. Yeah, it's a great idea. Perfect. Then the most important thing is you go out, drive a car fast.

43:34🔗 Drew Oh, fast. OK. Done and done. I can't wash a prescription med down without a little booze. You know me, Drew.

43:41🔗 Caller I know that. I had like eight knee surgeries, and the pain gets really bad.

43:46🔗 Drew Why have you had eight knee surgeries?

43:49🔗 Caller Just the alignment. And it started when I was 10, just because my knees would pop out all the time and tear tendons and stuff. And they didn't want to do the final procedure until I was about 16, because I guess I got growth blitz or something like that.

44:05🔗 Drew What's going on back there, Nick? Neil? What's going on?

44:09🔗 That wasn't me.

44:10🔗 Drew Oh, it wasn't? All right.

44:13🔗 Caller I have growth blitz and...

44:16🔗 Adam What's your question?

44:18🔗 Caller I don't know if it's the pain, but when I take the Ultram, they work great.

44:22🔗 Adam Ultram works well for you.

44:23🔗 Caller They don't have any narcotics in it.

44:24🔗 Adam Yeah, they do.

44:26🔗 Caller They do?

44:26🔗 Adam Yeah. Weak.

44:27🔗 Caller The doctor told me they were non-narcotics.

44:28🔗 Adam Yeah, they're sold that way. But they bind at the endorphin side, and anything that does that is opiate. And if you can take that three times a day and get decent relief, you're doing great. Is that what's happening?

44:40🔗 Caller Yeah, but like when I used to take the Vicodin, Percocet, and MS-Contin, they didn't really do that much for me, but when I take these, they do great.

44:48🔗 Adam How much are you taking of this?

44:53🔗 Caller They give me, well, 50-milligram capsules, but I take about three of them.

44:57🔗 Adam At a time?

44:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:59🔗 Adam So you're overdosing on that. So look, MS-Contin, which is morphine, that's high-dose morphine, okay? And that means, Neil, you were addicted. And if this is working better than MS-Contin, what Ultram has in it is an antidepressant property.

45:14🔗 Drew Nice.

45:15🔗 Adam So you might look into actually having depression treated specifically, rather than overdosing on the Ultram. You need somebody that is either a psychiatrist that's used to dealing with pain and addiction, or a chronic pain specialist.

45:27🔗 Drew I'm still looking to try Quailid. Those around?

45:31🔗 Adam No.

45:31🔗 Drew Ludes. Got to get me some of them. Some ludes. Yeah, some real pharmaceutical ones. All right. Hey, what about he gets one of those copper bracelets that Evil Knievel wears to relieve pain?

45:42🔗 Caller Right.

45:43🔗 Adam There you go.

45:44🔗 Drew Magnets.

45:44🔗 Caller That can do it.

45:44🔗 Adam Magnets.

45:45🔗 Drew Oh, magnets. That's right. You put magnets up your ass, right? Yeah, that relieves pain. Oh, sure. Everyone knows. Everyone knows guys who work in stereo stores and have to deal with a lot of speakers are amongst the strongest that our society has to offer. Yeah. Anyone who works in close proximity of magnets doesn't feel pain. It makes sense. You see it when they do the drawing. They got the outline of the human body. Then they got the magnet inserts in the shoes. You can see the pain actually being drawn down to the sole of the foot where the magnets are.

46:17🔗 You bet. Sure.

46:18🔗 Drew That's science. Kenny?

46:21🔗 Yeah.

46:22🔗 Drew You're 14. What's up?

46:25🔗 Caller I wanted to ask Nikki, why did you quit the Norm show? Is that like out of the air or something?

46:31🔗 Guest No, it's still on the air and I didn't quit. I just had to go to start this thing. I went back and did two more episodes.

46:38🔗 Caller You're doing both of them?

46:40🔗 Guest I'm only doing this new one now, but I did do two more episodes to kind of wrap it up.

46:45🔗 Drew I really enjoy Norm MacDonald.

46:47🔗 Guest Me too.

46:48🔗 Drew Yeah, I know he gets a bad rap because he's a horrible person.

46:53🔗 Caller He is?

46:53🔗 Drew Yeah, he's a horrible guy. Oh, he's a nice guy. He's a horrible compulsive gambler, alcoholic and stuff.

47:01🔗 Adam That's right.

47:02🔗 Drew But I think the guy's funny as hell.

47:05🔗 Guest I do too.

47:05🔗 Drew I really do. And after all, what am I doing? Dating the guy or watching him on TV?

47:10🔗 Guest Watching him on TV.

47:11🔗 Drew There you go with some dating. I'm mainly watching on TV.

47:14🔗 Adam You just got together for that physical stuff with him, right? We were actually dating. We just have a service agreement.

47:20🔗 Drew We look the same, so we just pretend we're both masturbating.

47:24🔗 Adam In the mirror.

47:24🔗 Drew With different penises.

47:25🔗 Yeah, I see.

47:28🔗 Drew I have people think I'm normal all the time.

47:30🔗 Adam Really?

47:32🔗 Drew A lot. Yeah.

47:32🔗 Adam That's weird.

47:33🔗 Drew Yeah. I don't say I look like him that much, but I think it's more my demeanor or something.

47:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

47:39🔗 Drew I don't know what it is. I had a guy in a pizza shop say to me the other day. He goes, he goes, hey, I see your show. And now it's confusing because I have a TV show. So, you know, I go, hey, thanks. And he goes, yeah, we catered your show. And I go, oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're over on. You're over on the Carsey Warner lot over there. Aren't you around Radford? No. I know we've done your show. Yeah, it's over on that lot. You know, 20 minutes later. Oh, you're not norm. And then it gets that uncomfortable, yeah, but I've seen your show anyway. You're all right. It's like OBS now, Pops. All right. We'll take a little break. Nick and Nikki Roth here from Nicky and we'll be back after this.

48:22🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

49:08🔗 Drew Hey, hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Shut the door there, Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Nick and Nikki are both here from Nikki. That is WB. That's coming out this Sunday, 930, right after Hype on the WWWB. And Nikki got your own show named after you.

49:33🔗 Guest Yeah, isn't that weird?

49:35🔗 Drew Yeah, whose idea was that? Bob Katz?

49:38🔗 Guest Yes, it was all his idea.

49:42🔗 Drew Bob did that Unhappily Ever After is in pretty heavy syndication now, isn't it? That's good, right?

49:51🔗 Guest Sure.

49:51🔗 Drew Free money?

49:52🔗 Guest Kinda.

49:53🔗 Drew Kinda?

49:54🔗 Guest Kind of. It was already kind of semi-considered syndicated because it wasn't on one of the big threes. So yeah, of course I'm not going to complain, but it's not like I can retire.

50:05🔗 Drew It's not like Frasier kind of syndicated money. Exactly.

50:08🔗 Guest You got it.

50:09🔗 Drew But Bob cut a good deal, which is he gets paid as much as everyone else, right?

50:13🔗 Guest Absolutely.

50:14🔗 Drew Smart. Yeah. You know who did that? I think Richie Cunningham's dad did that on Happy Days. Tom Bosley?

50:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

50:27🔗 Drew Is that Tom Bosley?

50:28🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah.

50:29🔗 Drew I think he had a deal going in that whoever gets paid the most, I get a buck more than he does. Which is smart, and no one was, you know, who the hell was Henry Winkler when the show started, and who the hell was anybody when that show started?

50:44🔗 Adam How did you hear about that?

50:46🔗 Drew I think I got to Han Mushrooms and made that one up.

50:49🔗 Guest It was a good one, though.

50:50🔗 Drew Yeah. I told my agent, that's my deal. I want a buck more than anyone gets paid on any show ever.

50:55🔗 Guest And you call it the Bosley deal.

50:57🔗 Drew Yeah. I call it the Bos-Claus.

50:59🔗 Guest The Bos-Claus.

51:00🔗 Caller There you go.

51:02🔗 Drew It's the way to go because they go, all right, well, you know, you've been working around for 30 years and all these guys are a bunch of no-names.

51:09🔗 Guest It's a common thing that a lot of people do.

51:11🔗 Drew Pay a buck more than anybody does and then you never have to renegotiate. Go let the Winkler's people go in there and hammer it out. You just sit home laughing. What did you get, Henry? All right, I got a buck more. Yeah, me too. You know what? I'll give you the buck. Make me feel better. I'll stuff it in the Jerry kid's box. Jerry's good box over at the 7-Eleven. We'll all benefit. Michelle?

51:31🔗 Hi.

51:31🔗 Drew You're 17.

51:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:33🔗 Drew What's up?

51:34🔗 Caller I lost my virginity on Sunday.

51:37🔗 Adam Sunday?

51:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:39🔗 Caller All right.

51:41🔗 Caller And he did use a condom.

51:43🔗 Adam Good.

51:44🔗 Caller Yeah. And my period ended on Thursday. And I wanted to ask a question for Drew. I know that there's a certain time during the 28 days when there's a higher possibility of you getting pregnant.

52:00🔗 Adam That's in generally a couple of weeks from where you are now.

52:03🔗 Caller Yeah. I just want to know when they are because...

52:05🔗 Adam They're around the 18 or so.

52:08🔗 Caller Okay.

52:08🔗 Drew You sound thrilled.

52:09🔗 Adam 15 to 18. But why are you worried? You wore a condom.

52:12🔗 Caller No. I just want to know because it's not going to be a one-time deal. All right.

52:16🔗 Adam Why don't you get on the pill?

52:18🔗 Caller Yeah. I wanted to ask some questions about all that.

52:21🔗 Adam All right.

52:21🔗 Caller Go.

52:23🔗 Caller I know there's a number for getting the morning after pill. What is it?

52:26🔗 Drew Well, wait a minute. I thought we didn't need that.

52:29🔗 Caller No. I want to be prepared.

52:32🔗 Adam That's all right. She wants to be prepared.

52:33🔗 Drew Okay.

52:34🔗 Adam She's... Hey. Hey.

52:35🔗 Drew Hold on.

52:35🔗 Adam Hey.

52:36🔗 Drew How pissed off can he be?

52:37🔗 Adam We're pissed off when they don't get prepared. She's getting prepared.

52:40🔗 Drew I know. But first she said, I lost my virginity. Then you said, did you wear a condom? He wore a condom. Okay. What are you worried about? She said, I'm not worried. I want to get on birth control because this is going to be a regular thing. Then she said, what's the number for the morning after pill?

52:55🔗 Adam I always said-

52:56🔗 Drew Which is fine because maybe she wants to save it for her next outing.

53:00🔗 Adam Or if she makes a mistake or something.

53:02🔗 Drew All right. I'll go with that.

53:03🔗 Adam 188, not too late. 188, not too late.

53:07🔗 Caller That's N-O-T-T-O-O.

53:09🔗 Adam No. N-O-T, number two, L-A-T-E.

53:13🔗 Caller Okay.

53:14🔗 Drew You don't sound thrilled about the whole thing. Are you okay?

53:17🔗 Caller I'm really tired. I've been trying to call you guys for since the show started.

53:21🔗 Drew I'm sorry. I'm going to get out my home number.

53:23🔗 Caller You call me at home number, right?

53:25🔗 Adam And Michelle, look, just get on some more appropriate contraception if you're really worried. You get on the birth control pill.

53:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:31🔗 Drew How old is this guy?

53:32🔗 Caller He's 24.

53:35🔗 Adam Is that all about us?

53:35🔗 Drew Yeah. See, I smelt a little something coming here. 24, 25.

53:40🔗 Caller 20. He just, no, wait, no, he's not 23. He just turned 23 on Saturday.

53:45🔗 Drew All right. And what's up? You're in high school, right?

53:48🔗 Caller Mm-hmm. I'm a senior.

53:49🔗 Drew Oh, a senior. Okay. And he would have graduated from college, had he attended a year or so ago?

53:55🔗 Caller Two years ago.

53:57🔗 Caller I think he had attended, yeah.

53:59🔗 Drew What's he do? Does he work around metal or wood?

54:02🔗 Caller No.

54:04🔗 Caller Oh, I heard about that one.

54:05🔗 Drew What's he do?

54:07🔗 Caller He works at, well, we work at the same restaurant.

54:10🔗 Drew I see.

54:11🔗 Adam Is he a manager?

54:13🔗 Caller No, he's a district trainer.

54:16🔗 Drew District trainer?

54:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:18🔗 Caller All right.

54:18🔗 Adam That means he's in an authority position over you?

54:20🔗 Drew Sounds like it.

54:21🔗 Caller No, not really. We work in different departments.

54:24🔗 Caller All right.

54:26🔗 Drew All right. I don't trust this guy.

54:28🔗 Adam Me neither.

54:29🔗 Drew Listen, when you're 23, you're not supposed to be banging 17-year-olds.

54:33🔗 Caller I wouldn't put it that way.

54:34🔗 Adam Okay.

54:35🔗 Drew Okay. All right. So you guys have something special?

54:39🔗 Caller I hope so.

54:41🔗 Drew You sure?

54:43🔗 Caller Pretty sure.

54:44🔗 Drew Yeah? Have you talked to him?

54:47🔗 Caller I see him almost every day. I talk to him a lot.

54:50🔗 Drew Okay. You see him at work, right?

54:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:52🔗 Caller All right.

54:53🔗 Drew All right, Michelle.

54:55🔗 Adam Good luck.

54:56🔗 Caller Thank you.

54:56🔗 Drew Okay. She sounded a little depressed about the whole thing.

55:00🔗 Adam Yeah. A little bit.

55:01🔗 Drew She didn't sound like she was... She didn't sound like she had a whole lot of faith in this guy.

55:06🔗 Caller No.

55:07🔗 Drew I wonder, isn't it... What is it? District... Is it training something? District trainer.

55:13🔗 Adam Too much for my feeble mind.

55:14🔗 Drew What does that mean?

55:15🔗 Adam I don't know. The whole thing just smells bad. Not good.

55:19🔗 Drew Yeah. You getting that vibe?

55:21🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

55:22🔗 Drew Okay. Drew Spidey senses tingling. Look out. Danny?

55:26🔗 Yeah.

55:26🔗 Drew You're 13?

55:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:28🔗 Drew What's up?

55:30🔗 Caller What's the best way to ask out a girl?

55:33🔗 Drew You got to come up behind them with an ether rag.

55:36🔗 Adam What's your? It never worked for you.

55:38🔗 Drew Well, it worked in high school. Who are you asking out?

55:44🔗 Caller Oh, this girl at school.

55:46🔗 Drew Oh, this girl?

55:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:47🔗 Drew Okay. You're 13?

55:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:50🔗 Drew You never asked anyone out?

55:52🔗 Caller No.

55:52🔗 Drew You got anything coming up?

55:54🔗 Caller Not really.

55:56🔗 Drew I'll do a little role playing with Nikki.

55:58🔗 Caller Okay.

55:59🔗 All right.

56:00🔗 Drew All right. You listen up and take some notes, right?

56:03🔗 Adam 13, you've never asked anyone out before. Right. You're lost. You're at sea. You're adrift. You don't even know where to begin.

56:10🔗 Drew Yeah. Oh, you're a mess.

56:12🔗 Guest Wait, am I 13 too?

56:14🔗 Drew Let's make you nine.

56:15🔗 Guest Because I'm getting just creepy.

56:18🔗 Drew Well, let's see. How old are you? I'll be the same age.

56:22🔗 Guest Okay.

56:22🔗 Drew How old are you?

56:23🔗 Guest I'm 22.

56:24🔗 Drew You're 22. I'm 36. So, I'll be, what am I, 14 years old? So, I'll be 13, you be zero.

56:31🔗 Caller Okay.

56:33🔗 Drew You'll be minus one.

56:34🔗 Guest All right.

56:35🔗 Drew Okay.

56:36🔗 Guest I really won't say too much.

56:37🔗 Drew All right. Danny? Yeah. Okay. Listen to the master. Okay. So, here's how it goes. I'll be 13 too. Hey, we're in the hallway.

56:50🔗 Guest Right.

56:50🔗 Drew Hey there, Nikki. How are you?

56:52🔗 Guest Pretty good. Thanks. How are you?

56:54🔗 Drew Oh, good. Already, it's unrealistic.

56:56🔗 Adam Yeah. She's into it.

56:58🔗 Drew Don't be perky.

56:59🔗 Adam Okay. You're not into it.

57:00🔗 Drew Remember that.

57:01🔗 Caller Okay.

57:02🔗 Drew Hey.

57:03🔗 Adam This will be a stretch.

57:03🔗 Guest What?

57:04🔗 Adam It's a stretch, Nikki.

57:04🔗 Guest What?

57:05🔗 Drew Okay. Don't be hostile, honey. Hey, Nikki. It's Adam.

57:11🔗 Guest Hello.

57:11🔗 Drew Hi. Man. Hey, man. I'll tell you that movie almost famous, man. I've heard some good things about that one. I think it's rated. Is that rated PG?

57:23🔗 Guest IVR.

57:24🔗 Drew Oh, Christ.

57:25🔗 Guest We can't go.

57:26🔗 Drew What's a PG movie? What movie do you want to see, Danny?

57:28🔗 Caller Nutty Professor.

57:31🔗 Caller I've seen Regid-R. I've seen Almost Famous.

57:34🔗 Drew Okay. Is there a movie you want to see?

57:39🔗 Caller I don't know.

57:40🔗 Adam Don't ask tough questions, Adam.

57:41🔗 Caller Come on.

57:43🔗 Drew What lies beneath? Oh, really? Okay. It's a good movie. All right. All right. Hey, Nikki.

57:50🔗 Guest Hello.

57:51🔗 Drew Hey, it's Adam.

57:52🔗 Caller Hello there, Adam.

57:53🔗 Drew I sit behind you in Algebra.

57:56🔗 Guest Yeah, I've noticed.

57:57🔗 Drew Yeah. You see me burning a hole in the back of your head with my maniacal gaze. Listen, you know What Lies Beneath? I heard some pretty good stuff about that movie.

58:09🔗 Guest Yeah, me too. Yeah.

58:10🔗 Drew I'm thinking about checking it out this week.

58:13🔗 Guest You should do that.

58:14🔗 Drew You want to check it out, too? You want to go with me? Oh. Come on, bitch. You know you love it.

58:21🔗 Caller Okay.

58:22🔗 Drew Listen, in 20 years, you're going to remember this and kick yourself. Yes. Hey, Danny.

58:28🔗 Adam Yeah?

58:28🔗 Drew Okay.

58:29🔗 Adam He's actually outraged. How dare you? How dare you?

58:32🔗 Drew You have a national radio show. I said all right. Oh, okay. Danny?

58:39🔗 Caller Yeah?

58:39🔗 Drew Here's what you need to do. You need to find an event, something that's going on over the weekend. Is there anything going on in your town or your school or anything?

58:49🔗 Caller Not really.

58:50🔗 Drew Okay. But boy, he's a- Ball fire. Mr. Personality over here. Well, you better be good looking, Danny. You're screwed.

58:59🔗 Caller Well, I go to a private school.

59:01🔗 Drew Oh, okay. Well, that's different than you could be ugly.

59:04🔗 Caller Well, no, there's only like 42 kids in it.

59:07🔗 Drew Oh, there's only 42 kids.

59:09🔗 Adam In the cl- Are you there?

59:10🔗 Slim Pickens.

59:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:12🔗 Drew Yeah. Okay. Well, all right.

59:13🔗 Adam In the class or in the-

59:15🔗 Caller In the entire school. Oh, wow. It's sixth through 12th grade.

59:19🔗 Adam Here's my advice. Develop a network of friends outside of that school. Whatever, if you find a sport, anything. You got to do that. It's all going to be so- Too important, too intense. Yeah, it's just too much, not normal.

59:34🔗 Drew What's up? Is that a hippie school?

59:36🔗 Caller No. It's a special school for kids with ADD.

59:42🔗 Drew Uh-huh. Does she have that too?

59:46🔗 Caller I believe so.

59:47🔗 Drew Okay. Well, she might not be able to make it through a movie then, right?

59:51🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

59:53🔗 Drew Okay.

59:54🔗 Caller She does modeling too.

59:56🔗 Drew Oh, ADD model. I like that. Perfect. She said she had to overcome a lot to be a model. Danny, maybe she's out of your league. Is she real good looking?

1:00:06🔗 Caller She's like a regular girl.

1:00:08🔗 Drew I see. Who models?

1:00:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:10🔗 Drew I see. Where does she model?

1:00:13🔗 Caller I'm not sure. I haven't asked her.

1:00:15🔗 Drew I don't know. She probably has a French boyfriend who's in his 40s.

1:00:20🔗 Caller I don't think so.

1:00:21🔗 Drew You don't think so? All right. Hey, Danny.

1:00:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:25🔗 Drew Here's what you do. Okay. I know. Nicky will back me up on this one. Guy comes up to you, right? And I'll give you two scenarios. You don't like the guy and he says to you, hey, you've seen Almost Famous and you don't like the guy, your answer is what?

1:00:40🔗 Guest Yes.

1:00:41🔗 Drew Yes, you've seen it.

1:00:41🔗 Guest I already saw it and I don't want to see it again.

1:00:43🔗 Drew You didn't like it. Right. But now another guy comes up to you. You like this guy. You think he's cute. Have you seen Almost Famous?

1:00:52🔗 Guest No, I haven't. It's supposed to be really good.

1:00:54🔗 Drew Yeah, I want to see it.

1:00:56🔗 Guest Absolutely.

1:00:56🔗 Drew I'm thinking about seeing it this weekend.

1:00:58🔗 Guest Wow, that would be great.

1:00:59🔗 Drew Oh, hey, you want to go with me?

1:01:00🔗 Guest Sure.

1:01:01🔗 Adam You know what kind of scares me?

1:01:03🔗 Guest Did we just make a date after all?

1:01:04🔗 Drew I think we did. This podcast is not listening, is he?

1:01:07🔗 Adam But he's coming out with a gun. But what scares me is the words that came out of Nikki's mouth were word for word, the same response that Anne gave you. Word for word.

1:01:18🔗 Drew It chicks all go to a seminar.

1:01:20🔗 Adam There must be some script they're issued.

1:01:22🔗 Drew Well, the reality is women aren't stupid. They know the guys they like. They know the guys they don't like. And they know when the conversation is heading down the date road.

1:01:31🔗 Guest Down the crap highway.

1:01:32🔗 Drew Down the crap highway. And they can spin it any way they want to spin it. And if it's a movie they saw ten times already, if it means going with that guy or the opportunity to go with that guy, they'll say, hey, I want to see it again. And if they've dined to see it and they hate the guy, they'll say don't want to see it, heard read bad reviews on it. So that's a good sort of measuring stick. And you can always use that. So just bring something up and bring up a movie. And if they like you, they'll say they want to see that movie. And don't bring it up with you in it, just bring the movie up. There you go. All right. Goes to a special school for ADD kids where there's 42 of them.

1:02:13🔗 Adam She models.

1:02:16🔗 Drew Oh, that's going to be a tough sell. Okay. Hey, listen, everybody. You know the prom, and this happened to me too.

1:02:25🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

1:02:25🔗 Drew You set your sights too high. Nick, did this happen to you in junior high and high school?

1:02:30🔗 Caller Pretty much my entire life, yeah.

1:02:32🔗 Drew Yeah. You want to go out with the belle of the ball, the prom queen, the head cheerleader, the model.

1:02:37🔗 Adam I was looking to go out with a female. It didn't work out. That was setting the sights too high.

1:02:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Right. You should have started with a reptile and worked your way up.

1:02:47🔗 Caller Exactly. A log, a small stone, clouds.

1:02:52🔗 Drew You become enamored with these beautiful women in your junior high, and what you don't realize is the whole school is enamored with these women. What you need is a nice place, you need a couple of victories, a nice little start. It's like if you got out of high school or you got your GED and you decided you wanted to work at a Fortune 500 company as a vice president, you started handing out your resumes. How many times would you get the door slammed in your face? You go to Taco Bell and get something you can land. That's what I say about dating. Find yourself a nice Taco Bell equivalent type chick and cut your teeth with her.

1:03:31🔗 Adam See, our listeners are so concrete and semi-retarded, they're going to go to the Taco Bell.

1:03:37🔗 Drew I'm looking for ladies. Go to the Taco Bell and find a lady.

1:03:40🔗 Adam You're right.

1:03:42🔗 Drew Jeremy, no, and the smarter ones are going, I thought Taco Bell was a Fortune 500. Jeremy?

1:03:50🔗 Caller What's going on, guys?

1:03:52🔗 Drew What's up?

1:03:52🔗 Caller How are y'all doing tonight?

1:03:53🔗 Drew Good, you're 20. What's the question?

1:03:56🔗 Caller Well, I've been here lately in the past probably eight months. I've become addicted to masturbating. And I'm 20 years old.

1:04:05🔗 And I've never done it before until now.

1:04:08🔗 Adam You've never masturbated before?

1:04:10🔗 Caller No.

1:04:10🔗 Adam How did you come upon the Grail?

1:04:13🔗 Caller Well, my girlfriend at the time was, and she's still my girlfriend now, it was that time of the month and she just asked me to, you know, we couldn't have sex. So she asked me to do that for her because we were just kind of messing around. And ever since then, it's just always, we've done it every once in a while. And like I said, probably about here in that last eight months or so, it's just been something that I would rather do than have sex.

1:04:37🔗 Adam How's the relationship going?

1:04:39🔗 Caller Do what?

1:04:39🔗 Adam How's the relationship going?

1:04:41🔗 Caller Oh, the relationship is great. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. I haven't expressed that to her. I've actually probably hide it more than I could. I don't want her knowing because...

1:04:52🔗 Drew Why is it you waited till the ripe old age of 20 to begin your masturbatory career?

1:04:57🔗 Caller I have no idea.

1:04:59🔗 Adam Was there somebody that made you feel bad about your sexuality?

1:05:02🔗 Caller No, I lost my virginity when I was 15.

1:05:05🔗 Drew Yeah, but didn't masturbate till 20, huh? No.

1:05:08🔗 Adam Maybe because he was involved with a person from 15 on.

1:05:11🔗 Drew No, doesn't matter. Hey, Jeremy? Yes? We couldn't have hung out when we were in high school. No way.

1:05:17🔗 Adam No way to relate?

1:05:19🔗 Drew What were you talking about? I don't know. Might as well just get a foreign exchange student from some African country.

1:05:26🔗 Adam Nick is agreeing with you a little too enthusiastically. Oh, wow. Right on.

1:05:30🔗 Drew What did you discuss? Oh, yeah. Long, awkward pauses and silences.

1:05:34🔗 I'm still trying to get over it. Even if you have your first relationship at 15, I mean.

1:05:40🔗 Drew Yeah, that's no excuse. No. Listen, Drew tries to work this argument all the time. Every one of my friends has been good for at least once a day. Even during a relationship? During, in the middle of sex. Are you kidding me? While you're actually being intimate. Family gatherings, holidays, whatever. Funerals, whatever. That's the way they would have wanted it. The point is, yeah, all my friends have been good for once a day, and they've all been in relationships. That's the way it works, Drew.

1:06:12🔗 Adam I'm just thinking about how proud I am of them.

1:06:14🔗 Drew Okay. The point is, is that relationship is not an excuse, Jeremy, and I don't know what's up, because if you're having an orgasm at 15, why is it taking you five years to get on yourself?

1:06:27🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:06:28🔗 Drew To me, it's like, that'd be like, it's like sex you can take home with you. You know what I mean? Take into the bathroom with you. So there's always a partner for you. All right, and now how many times a day?

1:06:45🔗 Caller At least twice.

1:06:47🔗 Drew At least twice?

1:06:48🔗 Caller At least, yes.

1:06:50🔗 Drew Okay, so here's my theory. Maybe you were sort of suppressing this, almost like maybe what an alcoholic might do with booze, and now that you got your first taste, it's game on.

1:07:02🔗 Guest Making up for lost time.

1:07:03🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. I mean, you have energy in this department, whether it's for or against, you know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, Jeremy. All right, all right. Screw you. I don't care. Just jack yourself an oblivion. I don't care. Listen, why don't you just cut down to once a day?

1:07:24🔗 Adam Right, just cut back.

1:07:25🔗 Drew Just cut it back. You're allowed to do that.

1:07:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:28🔗 Drew You can do that. But Nick, you know that trying not to masturbate is like trying not to eat, which is when you start thinking about not eating. And what are you doing within five minutes? You're eating. Yeah, Drew, you ever do that where you go, I'm eating too much. I got to stop eating. From now on, just. Oh, someone got some candy corn here. Where did they get, when they start putting that out? Got to talk to the crab server. It's like you start thinking about not doing something. I don't care whether it's eating, smoking, or whacking off. You start thinking about not doing it, and you might as well just be doing it. One time, I'm telling you, it happened three nights ago, I was telling you, Drew. It's the first time I thought about not masturbating and actually didn't masturbate.

1:08:14🔗 Adam You said you and me went to sleep.

1:08:16🔗 Drew No, no, I just went to sleep.

1:08:18🔗 Adam What? I don't believe it.

1:08:20🔗 Drew I may have had a drink, but the point is, is I didn't masturbate. That's my point. Josh? Well, I thought I'd get a little support from you on that, Drew. You know what I mean?

1:08:31🔗 Adam I just questioned the reality of the story.

1:08:33🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying. Josh?

1:08:35🔗 Yeah.

1:08:36🔗 Drew You're 18? What's up?

1:08:39🔗 Caller Just like about a week ago, started getting what I thought was a rash. What's going on now is the tip of my penis, the outside skin seems to be drying up and constricting to the head of it.

1:08:54🔗 Adam Are you, I'm not quite sure I visualize what you're saying, but are you sexually active? Yeah. What was that?

1:09:01🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:09:02🔗 Adam New partner?

1:09:04🔗 Caller No. Same, first only.

1:09:06🔗 Adam You weren't using condoms? Yeah. You're using condoms?

1:09:09🔗 Caller Sometimes, sometimes not.

1:09:11🔗 Adam Sometimes not. Nobody has herpes? You're sure of that?

1:09:16🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:09:17🔗 Drew All right. Yeast infection, maybe?

1:09:20🔗 Adam It's usually not a very exuberant reaction. I wonder if it's just some sort of allergic reaction at some time. I mean, it just sounds like some sort of irritation.

1:09:27🔗 Drew To what?

1:09:28🔗 Adam God knows. Or maybe they've been too vigorous, you know, something, some mechanical irritation.

1:09:33🔗 Drew Josh doesn't sound real vigorous to me. Josh sounds like, uh, uh, pfft, ugh. That's what it sounds like if you put a tape recorder under my bed. All right. Take your money and get out. Josh?

1:09:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:50🔗 Drew Are you too vigorous, sexually?

1:09:52🔗 Caller No, not really. I mean, we just try new things, nothing.

1:09:56🔗 Adam And no new condoms or anything you could be reacting to? Latex?

1:10:00🔗 Caller Let's see, condoms, usually trojan, spermicide, lubricant. That's just about it.

1:10:06🔗 Adam It's so hard to know what you're describing without being able to see it. So really somebody needs to examine it and see what's going on.

1:10:13🔗 Drew All right, Josh, go to the doctor. All right. What is it? Is it like a Quaalude night? Is it just me or are the callers like?

1:10:21🔗 Adam They started to begin dosing out.

1:10:24🔗 Drew It's like the little ten count before they answer stuff and you know what's funny is people ask questions on the show and then they're not too interested in the answer. It's kind of weird. It's like, I had some of my peers. Do you use Connors?

1:10:40🔗 Huh?

1:10:42🔗 Drew Yeah. It's like we broke in their house and woke them up. Let me see your Johnson kid. What is this? Huh? Hey Anderson, do we have that Aerosmith song? Do we have that? Yeah. Remember we were talking about the rabbit? And the rabbit dying is the old pregnancy test. And Drew, I know you've done your research by going to the bathroom and chatting and haven't found out why.

1:11:05🔗 Adam Can we go to the web?

1:11:06🔗 Drew Can you go to the web? How about you go to the microphone first and then go to the web? There you go. Now what was that, Drew?

1:11:12🔗 Adam I go to the web.

1:11:13🔗 Drew How do you go to the web?

1:11:14🔗 Adam Just for outside here.

1:11:15🔗 Drew You got a computer?

1:11:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:17🔗 Drew Westwood One has one?

1:11:18🔗 Caller Yes.

1:11:19🔗 Drew Really? I didn't know they had that. Did they realize that the computer is a relatively new piece of technology? I thought they didn't allow that.

1:11:28🔗 Adam They've caved in.

1:11:29🔗 Drew Yeah. This place is like the Knott's Berry Farm. It's like the shack where they sell jelly. They don't want any newfangled crap in there. It ruins the mystique. So you're going to go in there, Drew? Go in there and find out about that rabbit. All right. And now let's hear the air. Let's see if I was right about this Aerosmith song when they talk about the rabbit dying. Ah. Now go back a little further in it, because I want to know what the lyrics are.

1:12:30🔗 Caller Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:12:32🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-N-1.

1:12:36🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

1:13:04🔗 Drew Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that'd be Dr. Drew. Nick and Nikki are both here from Nikki, which is coming out this Sunday on the WP. So that is 9.30, shut up, Drew, on Sunday night right after hype. Now, Drew found out why the rabbit done died.

1:13:29🔗 Adam Turns out, urban myth, that in the 1920s, they discovered that when they injected the urine of a woman who's pregnant, the beta HCG, they didn't say whether it's injected intramuscular or IV or whatever, just says injected, would cause what's only described in this little article, distinctive ovarian changes. In order for them to get the ovaries out of these rabbits, they always killed the rabbits. So the rabbits always died. But the ovary changes caused by the hormone was only present in pregnant women. Gotcha.

1:14:01🔗 Drew So wait a minute, Nikki.

1:14:03🔗 Adam The rabbit died was his myth.

1:14:05🔗 Drew So the rabbit dying, as far as, rabbits being used to test pregnancy is a myth, not rabbits dying.

1:14:13🔗 Adam No, they used to use rabbits.

1:14:15🔗 Drew They used rabbits to test for pregnancy.

1:14:17🔗 Adam By injecting the urine of the pregnant woman.

1:14:19🔗 Guest But it wasn't the urine itself that killed them.

1:14:21🔗 Drew Killed the rabbit.

1:14:22🔗 Adam It was the researchers would kill them to harvest the ovaries.

1:14:25🔗 Drew Okay. But so then how did they know if a woman was pregnant by injecting it into a rabbit?

1:14:30🔗 Adam The ovaries would have distinctive changes.

1:14:32🔗 Drew In the rabbit.

1:14:33🔗 Adam In the, when they pulled about and examined them.

1:14:35🔗 Drew Okay, so they did, but it's the same thing. I mean, they had to kill the rabbit to examine it.

1:14:39🔗 Adam Yeah, but the rabbit would have died if you're not pregnant, too. Oh, he's not.

1:14:43🔗 Drew Oh, I see. Okay, so he, yes, he did.

1:14:49🔗 Adam It's very interesting.

1:14:50🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

1:14:51🔗 Adam Now, I know I didn't know anything about it. Never was used, really.

1:14:55🔗 Drew Well, it was used.

1:14:56🔗 Adam For a very brief period of time, apparently. Very, and it became widely sort of referred, this is media.

1:15:01🔗 Drew The rabbit test.

1:15:01🔗 Adam This is media creating reality again.

1:15:03🔗 Drew Right.

1:15:04🔗 Adam It became a sort of a thing in movies.

1:15:05🔗 Drew It was a Burt Reynolds movie, I think, in 1979. I think fresh off the big hit Cop and a Half.

1:15:12🔗 Adam There's got to be a million examples of people getting ideas in, like, I mean, there must be.

1:15:15🔗 Drew I was working on Cop and Three Quarters when this thing came along.

1:15:18🔗 Adam Soufflés probably don't fall when you close a door loudly.

1:15:21🔗 Drew How dare you question the veracity of soufflé humor, Drew. You know, that's my bread and butter. What, hold on a second. You guys are doing a sitcom. I would like to see more soufflé humor on television. Absolutely. I agree. I grew up in the 70s watching television when there was nothing but soufflé humor. The Act One, Alice is making soufflé in the kitchen, Greg comes in and slams the kitchen door, Alice turns the light on to check and see if the soufflé has fallen. Act Two, something else happens, something comes crashing down, soufflé has not fallen. Act Three, a butterfly lands on a pillow and the soufflé falls. That's Act Three. That's the big zinger at the end. I would like to see some episodes of Nikki, maybe a two parter.

1:16:06🔗 Guest We'll work on all soufflé jokes.

1:16:08🔗 Drew Sufflé jokes and you don't have to answer this, but what the hell happened to Quicksand? Where is it? One out of every three Americans used to die of Quicksand. If you would have asked me at age nine, what are the chances I'll die, perish via Quicksand?

1:16:24🔗 Guest Pretty good.

1:16:24🔗 Drew 50-50.

1:16:25🔗 Guest Pretty good.

1:16:26🔗 Drew 60-40. Depending on if I'd seen Tarzan or not, and how recently I saw my last Doc Savage episode, I would have gone with about 60-40. I'll go before my 30th birthday via Quicksand, along with the rest of the country, by the way. Many great Americans have died for your Quicksand. Now, no Quicksand. Don't see it anymore. It used to be every movie had some Quicksand in it. The Quicksand epidemic. Just to show you what a retard I am, I swear to Christ this is true. I turned on the television night about 6.45 and there was the presidential debate. Right. I watched about 45 seconds of it and I thought, well, I'm just going to flick around and get back to the same question. I don't want to miss too much. Flicked over four stations, Starsky and Hutch is on and I watched 45 minutes of that.

1:17:15🔗 Guest I thought you were going to say Facts of Life.

1:17:17🔗 Drew No. Oh, you're lucky that wasn't on.

1:17:21🔗 Caller Oh, it was.

1:17:21🔗 Adam He wouldn't have made it into the studio tonight.

1:17:23🔗 Caller Was that on?

1:17:24🔗 Drew That wasn't on at 6.30?

1:17:26🔗 Guest No, it was on a little bit later.

1:17:27🔗 Drew I watch the Facts of Life when I get home after the show. I love that show.

1:17:31🔗 Guest I think they show like three or four in a row.

1:17:33🔗 Drew That show took so long to come on. I'm so excited about the Facts of Life. I love that show. Yeah, but it's no Starsky and Hutch, which was on. There's an 18-year-old series, which I've probably seen the episode six times, which is two guys that aren't working anymore, and it's practically black and white. I'm watching that over the presidential debates. Trevor?

1:17:56🔗 Yeah.

1:17:57🔗 Drew You're 20. What's up?

1:17:59🔗 Caller Hey, Adam, hey, Drew, Nick and Nikki.

1:18:01🔗 Drew Hello.

1:18:02🔗 Caller I'm glad your show wasn't on at 8 on Sunday, because then I'd have to miss the Simpsons and I'd be upset.

1:18:08🔗 Drew That show is genius. Hey, and you know what else, Trevor?

1:18:11🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:18:11🔗 Drew If you like the Simpsons?

1:18:13🔗 Caller Futurama.

1:18:15🔗 Drew No. I don't watch Futurama. I can't get into it.

1:18:17🔗 Caller Oh, you haven't seen the Nixon episode, then?

1:18:19🔗 Drew Well, you're probably right, because I haven't really seen any of the episodes, but I really do enjoy the Family Guy.

1:18:25🔗 Caller Family Guy is also fantastic. I have a tape of nothing but Simpsons, or several tapes of nothing but Simpsons and Futurama and Family Guy.

1:18:31🔗 Drew What's your favorite Simpsons episode?

1:18:34🔗 Caller Favorite? Probably Leesaw on Ice, or The Clown College.

1:18:38🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, both good. I'd give you Homer Steele's Cable and the Duff Gardens.

1:18:45🔗 Caller Duff Gardens is also Selma's Choice.

1:18:47🔗 Adam How about the Flaming Moe?

1:18:48🔗 Drew Very solid. Flaming Moe with Aerosmith.

1:18:51🔗 Caller Krusty's Comeback Special.

1:18:53🔗 Drew Excellent. Excellent. All right, go ahead.

1:18:56🔗 Caller Can I give a quick line, before we get into me, just a quick line to Danny who called in earlier, and I know Adam can back me up on this, that he's entering an age in which girls, in an effort to prove themselves more mature, will want to date older guys.

1:19:12🔗 Drew As a 13 year old, this is what Danny told him?

1:19:14🔗 Caller Yeah, 13 year old girls start dating like 15 year old guys.

1:19:17🔗 Adam And by the way, it's not an effort to make themself more mature, it's because 13 year old guys are what they are.

1:19:22🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:23🔗 Drew Danny shows up in a windbreaker as he yawns in a rubber band from his headset goes shooting across the room.

1:19:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:34🔗 Drew I know. That's why I suggested he start with a 9 year old. Hey, what are you supposed to do as a 13 year old guy with your hormones bursting out and these chicks going out with 16 year olds, both freshmen and sophomores in high school?

1:19:46🔗 Caller Yeah, well the 15 year old guys are dating the 13 year old girls because the 15 year old girls are dating the 18 year old guys.

1:19:51🔗 Drew Exactly. So the 13 year old guys should be dating 9 and 10 year old girls. That's a do the math.

1:19:58🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:20:00🔗 Drew How can you argue with that?

1:20:01🔗 Caller You can start making them up out of the womb.

1:20:04🔗 Drew That's right. All right. Hey, Trevor?

1:20:06🔗 Caller OK, yeah.

1:20:07🔗 Adam Here we go.

1:20:08🔗 Caller OK, well.

1:20:09🔗 Drew Trevor, you don't get a lot of tail, do you, buddy?

1:20:11🔗 Caller Well, consistently from my current girlfriend, but usually there's a good three, four months waiting period.

1:20:19🔗 Adam He's not doing bad.

1:20:20🔗 Drew I can hear in his voice. Plus, he likes good TV shows, and those poor guys are never rewarded with boon tanks. God punishes guys who like good TV shows.

1:20:30🔗 Caller Just intelligent humor in general. Yeah. No, I read about this technique in Playboy. I'm sure you've heard of this in which if your girlfriend holds the base of your penis, you know, it's a better orgasm. Well, anyway.

1:20:46🔗 Adam Well, you better explain it.

1:20:48🔗 Drew My penis, it's all base. There's no choice. There's no middle and end. It's base.

1:20:54🔗 Caller Well, my girlfriend, my girlfriend.

1:20:55🔗 Drew Is that true? Would you say my penis would be one base?

1:20:58🔗 Caller Just base.

1:20:59🔗 Drew Like if it was a tree, it would be one big stump.

1:21:02🔗 Caller Oh, good Lord.

1:21:04🔗 Adam Just base. You use the word big.

1:21:08🔗 Drew Big base stump. Yeah. Well, I doubt.

1:21:11🔗 Caller A giant stump.

1:21:13🔗 Drew How dare you? How dare you? All right.

1:21:17🔗 Caller Anyway, we tried this, but my girlfriend didn't want me to do it, so they'd want to do it. So, you know, I did it.

1:21:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:25🔗 Drew Well, we mean squeeze the base.

1:21:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:28🔗 Drew So to cut off the flow.

1:21:30🔗 Caller I guess so. I don't know what the logistics behind it are. Anyway, it did create a much better sensation. It made it more sensitive and just heightened it a little. And I started using it a lot. And then, like, now I can't not use it. Like, now I just have this problem just orgasming during sex. Like, and it almost feels just like masturbation during sex. You see what I'm saying?

1:21:56🔗 Adam Why do you have to do it?

1:21:58🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. It's just like all of a sudden, I just can't orgasm from normal intercourse anymore. I mean, like, I suddenly have to have the feeling of the pressure on the base.

1:22:08🔗 Drew I see. And you used to be able to do this without any difficulty? Yeah. How about you apply your own pressure during intercourse? Can you do that?

1:22:20🔗 Caller Well, that...

1:22:22🔗 Drew Blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:22:22🔗 Caller That's what I'm doing. It's just, it's, you know, it's starting to feel like masturbation.

1:22:27🔗 Drew Well, listen, it... Can't you apply pressure at the base of your unit while you have intercourse? Oh, sure. Why does that feel like masturbation?

1:22:41🔗 Caller Well, because I'm just told, it's almost, it's almost like the pressure is, is what's doing it, and she doesn't feel like, like she's involved enough anymore. Like, she...

1:22:51🔗 Adam He's so focused on his mechanics.

1:22:53🔗 Drew Right.

1:22:53🔗 Adam They're taken out of the game.

1:22:54🔗 Drew And let me tell you something about masturbation. If a chick would get naked and dance around while I masturbate it, that'd be fine.

1:23:00🔗 Caller That'd be the perfect woman.

1:23:02🔗 Adam Oh, Trevor.

1:23:03🔗 Drew Trevor, you're scaring me, baby. I just mean, I don't know. Okay. So how about...

1:23:11🔗 Adam Well, Nick kind of agreed there.

1:23:12🔗 Drew Nick, you're with me, right? Oh, no. Trevor's weird?

1:23:14🔗 Adam No, he was agreeing with me.

1:23:15🔗 Caller He's saying it was creepy.

1:23:16🔗 Drew Yeah. Creeped out? And Nick's a chronic masturbator too.

1:23:20🔗 Adam Big time, man.

1:23:20🔗 Drew I can't even tell you. He's not easily creeped out.

1:23:22🔗 Caller I can't even tell you.

1:23:24🔗 Drew Trevor. No, I think you have. I think you did a pretty good job.

1:23:27🔗 Caller I should agree.

1:23:29🔗 Caller You made it pretty clear.

1:23:30🔗 Adam You guys have been working together for how long? We'll see you in a month. Not much of a fudge peon tonight.

1:23:36🔗 Drew Hey, Trevor, listen, why don't you get away from this when you're alone and masturbating and then see if that steers you away from it when you're having intercourse?

1:23:48🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

1:23:50🔗 Adam Yeah, he's trying to train you out of it. My thing is just knock it off. Just stop.

1:23:54🔗 Drew Just stop when you're alone.

1:23:56🔗 Adam Stop when you're with her.

1:23:57🔗 Drew Well, listen, this falls under the heading of all the stuff we talk about, which is people say, hey, the chick puts an Altoid in your mouth and gives you a hummer. It's better. If you rub a little coke on your dork, it's going to be better. If you pop some amyl nitrate right at the- it's like, okay, it'll be better, but then eventually it'll just be what it is. Now, I'm with some chick and I forgot my amyl nitrate and I'm bumming. And then what kind of life is that? You know what I mean?

1:24:27🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:24:28🔗 Drew That's why I don't monkey with that. It's, you know, I watch the porn with the sound down because I keep it real. And I'm not too good to myself, you know. My sofa's not too comfortable. I, you know, I could use the whack bib I got for Christmas, but I don't use that. It's just a gym shirt, you know, just trying to keep it real.

1:24:53🔗 Adam You've thrown away your belly zamboni?

1:24:56🔗 Drew No, that I'm still working. That shorted out last time I used the belly zamboni. And a remote broke on it, so I got to fix it. That's at the shop.

1:25:04🔗 Adam Nikki just puked. Watch out.

1:25:05🔗 Caller No, I'm more than fine.

1:25:07🔗 Drew The belly zamboni's at the shop, Drew, but that'll be back. It's getting retreads. I actually wore it out. All right. We are going to take ourselves a little break. We'll let Nick and Nikki get the hell out of here because I know they got an early day of nothing tomorrow, by the way. No, they have to go shoot the show tomorrow. You got it. That's it. That show is none other than Nikki, 9.30 Sunday nights, dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba effing UB. You got it. Here's what you need to do. You need to watch Nikki, Sunday nights, WB 9.30, half hour show. Yes, it is. Then when it ends at 10 o'clock, you switch on over to the man show.

1:25:45🔗 Adam You're meant to turn your radio on.

1:25:48🔗 Drew You turn your radio on at 10 and you listen to this show, but you really focus on the man show, Comedy Central, 10 o'clock, where Nikki's wonderful fiance, the fabulous Bobcat will be working soon. Then you listen to this show. Oh, what a Sunday night.

1:26:02🔗 Guest What a big night.

1:26:03🔗 Drew I don't even want to come to work. All right, guys, thanks for coming in.

1:26:06🔗 Guest Thanks so much.

1:26:07🔗 Drew Thank you. My love to Bob and I will be back after this. Hey, Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, forget about the phone number. I thank Nick and Nicky for coming in here from Nicky. Nine-thirty, everybody, Sunday nights, WB. All right, Drew, you ready to roll?

1:27:01🔗 Caller Ready to roll.

1:27:02🔗 Drew I don't want to take that call.

1:27:03🔗 Adam It's been a whole lot longer, it's just taking it over quick.

1:27:05🔗 Drew Really?

1:27:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:05🔗 Drew You do that. Hurry. Ready?

1:27:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:07🔗 Drew All right. Ten seconds. Ready? Go.

1:27:09🔗 Adam Chuck. Chuck?

1:27:11🔗 Caller Hello?

1:27:12🔗 Adam Real quick.

1:27:14🔗 Go.

1:27:14🔗 Caller Hello?

1:27:14🔗 Yeah.

1:27:15🔗 Caller Yeah. I've been on accutane for about a month, but I've been on medication for six.

1:27:20🔗 Adam What medication?

1:27:21🔗 Caller Irithromycin.

1:27:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:27:22🔗 Caller Like Linn and Mike.

1:27:23🔗 Adam Antibiotics and stuff. Okay.

1:27:25🔗 Drew All zit stuff?

1:27:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:27🔗 Drew All right.

1:27:28🔗 Caller It's not working out.

1:27:29🔗 Adam Well, you're on the accutane now.

1:27:31🔗 Caller Yeah. But I mean, it's like...

1:27:33🔗 Adam It will work. I guarantee it. How much are you taking?

1:27:36🔗 Caller 40 milligrams.

1:27:37🔗 Adam Well, they can give you more if they need to. But it will work. Just stay with it.

1:27:40🔗 Drew Yeah. You know what I like about doctors? They always start with the dose that won't work.

1:27:44🔗 Adam Well.

1:27:44🔗 Drew I know. They got to.

1:27:46🔗 Adam Well, the more you use them, the more... You sort of go up the food chain in terms of strength of drug. And the stronger the drug, the more likely they already have problems.

1:27:55🔗 Drew I like it when they tell you it's not really going to work when they give it to you and then tell you you can come back and get more. I'm always like, hey, why don't we save me a trip and let's just double down right now? What do you say?

1:28:04🔗 Adam You can do that.

1:28:05🔗 Drew Hey, are some people, some people are just more tolerant for stuff?

1:28:08🔗 Adam Yep.

1:28:10🔗 Drew Yeah, I think that's me.

1:28:11🔗 Adam Yep. Some people metabolize it quicker. Some people have total body volumes of distribution that are completely different.

1:28:17🔗 Drew I don't know how many guys you know take an ambient off of a two and a half hour sleep the night before and then go to bed at four in the morning the next day and get up at 5.30, except for they wake up 20 minutes before the alarm at 5.15. Is there something wrong with me?

1:28:31🔗 Adam Unheard of.

1:28:32🔗 Drew With an ambient. Ambient was taken at 3.30.

1:28:34🔗 Adam You might as well be talking about walking on razor blades.

1:28:37🔗 Drew Really?

1:28:37🔗 Adam It sounds so uncomfortable.

1:28:39🔗 Drew It's uncomfortable but.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Impossible. It's just unbelievable. It's like waking up from anesthesia.

1:28:44🔗 Drew Yeah. I got a weird thing with that. It's hard to get me down. Heath, except for when I'm supposed to be working. Then I have Epstein Barr at that point. I'm nodding off. Heath.

1:28:56🔗 Yeah.

1:28:56🔗 Drew You're 22, brethren.

1:28:58🔗 Caller Hey, thanks for taking my call. All right. If Nick's still listening on his way out, what's up? Because we're buds. Anyways.

1:29:06🔗 Drew You and Nick?

1:29:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:08🔗 Caller So my question.

1:29:09🔗 Adam Are you a chronic masturbator also?

1:29:11🔗 Caller Yes. That's actually on here. I'm addicted to porno on the internet. I have a five-month-old girl and I feel really guilty about it because I can't seem to stop.

1:29:20🔗 Adam Well, does the child see this?

1:29:23🔗 Caller No.

1:29:23🔗 Drew Do they see you masturbating and watch it?

1:29:26🔗 Caller No. Not at all. I sleep usually when I do it, but I just feel guilty.

1:29:30🔗 Drew Well, that's good that you feel guilty because you don't want to be the kind of dad who's obsessed about something and neglecting his daughter.

1:29:36🔗 Caller Yeah. But I can't seem to stop. And I tell my wife about it and she seems OK with it. But I just.

1:29:41🔗 Adam Are you spending, are you turning to this as opposed to fulfilling other responsibilities?

1:29:46🔗 Caller No. Not at all.

1:29:47🔗 Adam Then forget it.

1:29:49🔗 Drew So who cares? How many hours a day do you spend on this thing?

1:29:53🔗 Caller Well, as soon as I can get my job done, about an hour.

1:29:57🔗 Adam An hour a day?

1:29:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:59🔗 Adam I suppose your wife is a little bit sort of pissed off that time with her is being.

1:30:02🔗 Drew Yeah. What's up with her?

1:30:03🔗 Caller She's asleep. I get off work when they're already in bed. So I just do it before I go to bed.

1:30:09🔗 Drew It's a good deal. Drew worked that one out, too. It's genius. Your kids and wife are sleeping when you get home.

1:30:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:16🔗 Drew But here's the sucker part of your job. You crawl right in the bed.

1:30:19🔗 Adam Right.

1:30:20🔗 Drew That could be your time. You know what I mean?

1:30:22🔗 Adam My me time.

1:30:23🔗 Drew Your you time. Yeah.

1:30:25🔗 Adam My have me time.

1:30:26🔗 Drew You're lucky because I use my me time and some of your you time. To have you. You're sleeping. Yeah. I figured, hey, Drew ain't using his you time. I might as well make it me time. Right?

1:30:36🔗 Adam You might as well.

1:30:36🔗 Drew Screw you time. That's what I say.

1:30:38🔗 Adam Use that semen up.

1:30:39🔗 Drew Right. Right. Hey, there's still some semen in Drew's sack. Let's see if I can get out of my dork. That's my rallying call. Drew's penis would want it this way. That's what I say. Brett?

1:30:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:53🔗 Drew You're 17? Yeah. What's up, buddy?

1:30:56🔗 Caller Okay. I think I might be gay and I think people are starting to catch on to me.

1:31:04🔗 Adam How's that?

1:31:05🔗 Caller What's that?

1:31:06🔗 Adam What leads you to believe that?

1:31:08🔗 Caller Well, like yesterday at breakfast, my dad called me a fruity ass.

1:31:14🔗 Drew I think he's bogus.

1:31:15🔗 Adam Yeah, I agree.

1:31:15🔗 Caller No, I'm serious.

1:31:16🔗 Drew He called you a fruity ass?

1:31:18🔗 Caller Well, like, he's been worried because, like, the other day, like, I never have girls over and all of my friends, like, we just sit around and kind of, like, play Doom and, you know, we don't really do a whole lot, get out of the house. And he was watching American Pie and he thought that maybe, you know, we were going to start doing stuff with each other and stuff and, you know.

1:31:42🔗 Adam So he was trying to be funny?

1:31:43🔗 Caller I don't know because it really freaked me out.

1:31:46🔗 Drew Drew, you remember, remember the first time your dad called you a fruity ass?

1:31:50🔗 Adam Yeah, but I was about, No, I was about seven.

1:31:51🔗 Drew Oh, you were older? Oh, younger?

1:31:53🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Brad, don't fret about this so much. Just develop your network of friends, get out of the house, go to college, figure out who you are, what you are.

1:32:02🔗 Drew And don't play Doom.

1:32:04🔗 Adam And don't play Doom. And don't be in a hurry to announce to your parents what you're all about.

1:32:09🔗 Drew And let me explain something. Doom is for nerds, not gays.

1:32:12🔗 Caller Oh, because when he called me fruity ass, his hand was on my ass.

1:32:15🔗 Drew Yeah. Oh, there we go.

1:32:17🔗 Adam That's the bogus part.

1:32:18🔗 Caller What?

1:32:18🔗 Drew I believe him. Really?

1:32:20🔗 Caller It was all right.

1:32:21🔗 Drew Yeah. Your dad raped you?

1:32:23🔗 Caller No.

1:32:23🔗 Drew Was he good? No? Just a little goosing? Yeah. You know, Brett was, he was sounding gay. Like he was kind of working. You know what that was? It's very subtle, but that's trying to sound gay without trying to go over the top.

1:32:37🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:38🔗 Drew Do you know what I mean?

1:32:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:39🔗 Drew Because you don't want to make it blatant?

1:32:40🔗 Adam Gayish.

1:32:41🔗 Drew Gayish? Yeah. Amy?

1:32:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:44🔗 Drew You're 15?

1:32:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:46🔗 Drew Yeah. What's up?

1:32:47🔗 Caller Okay. Well, I found a girl's number in my boyfriend's room, and I didn't think of anything of it, but then I was thinking today, and so I called her, and she said that he has been giving her rides all over the place, and doing her and just wanting to be her friend, and she said that he bugs her and all this crap.

1:33:03🔗 Drew All right. Listen, you know my S-word policy? Even though I know many of you are stupid, high, and uneducated, or possibly all three, you cannot use the S-word on the radio, and I know that's news to a lot of you, but close your eyes and count the number of times you've heard the S or the F-word on the radio.

1:33:28🔗 Adam By the way, I've started to hear that on cable now. Both words.

1:33:31🔗 Drew Really? What do you mean cable?

1:33:33🔗 Adam Sex and the City.

1:33:34🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:33:35🔗 Adam You use the F-word and...

1:33:36🔗 Drew That's HBO. That ain't basic cable, though.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Is it?

1:33:39🔗 Drew No, you got to pay for that. You didn't know you're paying for that?

1:33:43🔗 Adam It's part of some package, usually, HBO.

1:33:45🔗 Drew Yeah, the package you pay for.

1:33:47🔗 Adam Well, I got DirecTV.

1:33:49🔗 Drew True.

1:33:49🔗 Adam It must be high. It's not cable.

1:33:51🔗 Drew Okay. But the point is, is there's basic cable.

1:33:54🔗 Adam No, it's DirecTV. Did you get everything?

1:33:55🔗 Drew How dare you? Here's what I'm saying. You buy a package. Those package have some premium channels in it. Cinemax, HBO, those are considered the pay channels. Okay. You understand?

1:34:09🔗 Adam Except I got DirecTV, so I get automatically everything.

1:34:12🔗 Drew I know, but you automatically get everything that you pay for. They have packages in DirecTV.

1:34:18🔗 Adam They have packages for multiple feeds, but everything comes included. In other words, you get New York feeds of things and Chicago feeds.

1:34:26🔗 Drew Right. But here's what I'm saying. You can sign up for DirecTV and you can say, I want a basic cable package or I want the basic cable package and the premium channels, five HBOs and a Cinemax and a Playboy channel, or just give me the HBO and no Playboy channel. You can make your own package. It's satellite, right? Yeah, but it's not all or nothing. It's not all or nothing. I have satellite and you know all I have? I'm asking because I don't know how to work the goddamn thing for three years. I swear to Christ, I don't know how to work the thing. But I have satellite and all I have on the satellite is the ability to order movies. Do you know what I'm saying?

1:35:12🔗 Adam Yeah, that's weird.

1:35:14🔗 Drew Yeah, that's all I have. That's all I signed up. Well, it's 15 bucks a month.

1:35:16🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:35:17🔗 Drew You pay 100 bucks a month.

1:35:19🔗 Adam 50 or something.

1:35:20🔗 Drew All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:35:23🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:36:04🔗 Caller Yep, that's it.

1:36:05🔗 Drew All right. Brian Krauss from Charmed, Tomorrow Night. Your favorite show. I'm taping it right now. Nick and Nicky in here tonight from Nicky. That's right. Easy to remember. 9.30 Sunday night, and then of course, The Man Show after that. So until next time, Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:36:24🔗 Adam Gayish.

1:36:26🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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