Thursday, September 28, 2000

1:13🔗 Voiceover Well, it really is Coast to Coast tonight. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.

1:28🔗 Drew Hey, how was Barbara Streisand?

1:31🔗 Adam She, Babs was beautiful tonight.

1:33🔗 Drew Really?

1:34🔗 Adam Yeah, she was in great form.

1:35🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:36🔗 Adam I'm out here in New York. I was doing a little man show bit where I was attending the Streisand concert, although I didn't actually get in. But I had a good time anyway. Dr. Drew is back there in Los Angeles and our guest tonight. Is she in the studio, Drew?

1:52🔗 Drew She is. She overheard you saying all those nice things about her.

1:56🔗 Melissa Howard I actually didn't hear very much of it, but I am the Filipino one.

2:00🔗 Adam Right. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. Now I'm coming back and echo.

2:05🔗 Drew I hear you. How was your flight over? Any stories?

2:09🔗 Adam Nothing good. Just got drunk and passed out. Very uneventful.

2:13🔗 Drew You put your lovey shades on.

2:15🔗 Adam Yes.

2:16🔗 Drew Did Jimmy just abuse you for that?

2:18🔗 Adam I put... He didn't come with me. I went solo tonight. I put my big padded leopard pattern eye shade on and dozed off with a nice string of drool between me and the seat next to me. All right. So Melissa Howard is from The Real World. This is one of my favorite shows on MTV. Melissa is the one with the big lips, the short hair, and the scrumptious body. She's very cute. And she's... I guess you'd be kind of the troublemaker this season. Wouldn't you say, Melissa?

2:52🔗 Melissa Howard The troublemaker? I think I'd be the one that really doesn't put up with like the nonsense. You know, I'm not going to sit there and stand by while people say the N-word and whatnot, you know?

3:04🔗 Adam Right, right.

3:04🔗 Melissa Howard But not necessarily the troublemaker. I'm definitely not the laid back one.

3:09🔗 Adam No, but I'd say out of the entire cast, you were the one who was in the most controversy, wouldn't you say?

3:15🔗 Melissa Howard Well, I'd say I have range as a cast member.

3:18🔗 Drew This will be a yes, Adam.

3:19🔗 Melissa Howard Right, right.

3:20🔗 Drew Thanks for asking, Adam. Yes.

3:22🔗 Adam She goes from crazy to super crazy. Yeah, but I mean, that's what they look for, right? I mean, they try to sort of fill all the roles within the house. And I think you had the role of sort of the wild one, right?

3:35🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, totally. I'm the, you know, the brown firecracker and, you know, the kill two birds with one stone, half black, half Filipino, speak to both audiences, kind of character.

3:47🔗 Adam You know, it's funny, though. You know, I didn't, from looking at you, I didn't get the half black part.

3:53🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, nobody ever does.

3:55🔗 Adam You look very exotic, but you don't look half black. You look Filipino and something else. What I like to call Johnny Quest villain nationality. Can't quite put your finger on it. Not sure what it is. But it works on you.

4:09🔗 Melissa Howard Thank you.

4:10🔗 Adam And Melissa, there's a great one of the best episodes this year is when you had your geeky ex-boyfriend come in for your birthday. Remember that one? Him and his buddies? And you got really loaded at your birthday party and got your underpants and danced around.

4:27🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, the birthday episode. I'm trying to suppress that.

4:30🔗 Adam Oh, that poor son of a bitch. I felt so horrible. Have you talked to him since then?

4:35🔗 Melissa Howard Well, he's grown a beard and shaved his head.

4:37🔗 Adam Yeah, see, Drew, see, Melissa had a boyfriend. I don't know how you got hooked up with this guy because it didn't seem like...

4:43🔗 Melissa Howard No, he's a nice boy.

4:45🔗 Adam Well, he's a nice guy, but it didn't seem like your type.

4:47🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, but do you think that's coincidence? I always date shy, quiet boys. I'm the one that likes to run things, you know?

4:53🔗 Adam Well, you didn't seem that into him when he got out there, though.

4:56🔗 Melissa Howard That's because he wasn't my boyfriend on the show. I left him, like we broke up or like separated ways long before the show happened.

5:05🔗 Adam I see.

5:05🔗 Melissa Howard But editing magic.

5:07🔗 Adam Well, he came out and he came out with a few of his buddies and it just wasn't a good weekend for him. I kind of felt for the guy.

5:13🔗 Melissa Howard I'm sure he gets lots of girls now because it's like, hey, are you the girl that Melissa dumped on the Real World? I mean, that would definitely get some ladies.

5:20🔗 Adam No, no, you don't score for that.

5:23🔗 Drew Especially not. A woman would.

5:25🔗 Adam Right. A woman might get some sympathy sex, but not a guy. He just gets beaten up even more. So you have that to wrestle with when you go to bed tonight. So, Melissa, now you guys are done taping, right?

5:36🔗 Melissa Howard Yes, thank God Almighty.

5:38🔗 Adam Now, how long ago did you finish taping?

5:40🔗 Melissa Howard We just finished at the end of May.

5:43🔗 Adam And what are you on to now?

5:45🔗 Melissa Howard What am I on to?

5:46🔗 Adam Hopefully... Yeah, I mean, what's next? What do you want to do?

5:48🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, it's totally a time to reinvent. Like, I'm actually a funny person. Maybe that's not on TV very much, because, you know, it's not a sitcom. It's not a comedy. So, you know, we're working on my comedy.

5:57🔗 Drew Adam, you've described yourself that way many times.

6:00🔗 Adam Yes, I'm not a funny person. No, it came across. You definitely had the most personality of anyone in that house.

6:07🔗 Thank you.

6:08🔗 Adam Yeah. And you seem sort of, I don't know, tailor-made to do something in comedy. I'm not sure what, but you definitely got a ton of personality. So, what are you going to do? Stand up or something like that?

6:20🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, we're developing that. And I just finished a course in The Groundlings, and I'm hoping to register again for their next session.

6:29🔗 Adam And it's fun. So, who's we when you say we're working on it? You mean like the royal we, or do you have like an entourage?

6:37🔗 Melissa Howard I just have a nice, happy, and good agent working with me.

6:42🔗 Adam Oh, really? So, you got an agent out of the deal?

6:44🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, yeah. I went on the Craig Kilborn show and just, you know, begged for a job, and at the same time, I got an agent. So, it's cool.

6:50🔗 Adam All right. Well, here you are on the Fabulous Loveline.

6:53🔗 Melissa Howard I love this show. I'm so happy that I got to do this.

6:56🔗 Adam Oh, really? Well, we're glad to have you.

6:57🔗 Melissa Howard I'm an expert on sex, don't you know? I'm the sexist wonder and I know all about it.

7:01🔗 Adam I know. You know, for someone who didn't have too much sex, you should talk a pretty good story on that show. And you spent a fair amount of time in your underpants.

7:10🔗 Melissa Howard Thank you.

7:11🔗 Adam You're quite welcome.

7:12🔗 Drew All right.

7:13🔗 Adam Drew, you got the calls lined up there?

7:14🔗 Drew I do indeed. Let's go to Dave. He's 18. Dave.

7:17🔗 Caller Hey, how's it going?

7:18🔗 All right. What's up?

7:20🔗 Caller Adam?

7:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:21🔗 Caller Let me just first say I love the Man Show.

7:23🔗 Adam Thank you.

7:24🔗 Caller You remember Boobville, right? You should put it on the Man Show about Boobville.

7:28🔗 Drew Oh, you could actually create it in that format, huh?

7:33🔗 Adam Yes. Thanks, Dave. Thank God I have a scratch pad here. I'm going to put that down right now. You could have another. Drew?

7:40🔗 Drew The resurrecting of, the building of.

7:42🔗 Adam Drew, you're going to talk while I'm talking? It's going to be a long night.

7:45🔗 Drew Let's go ahead. Adam.

7:48🔗 Adam Somebody yelled at me today and said, why are you yelling at Drew all the time? I said because he deserves it.

7:52🔗 Drew Listen, there are technical aspects of broadcasting from somewhere else, meaning that because of the delay, you defer to the person in the main studio.

8:00🔗 Adam Shut up, Drew.

8:00🔗 Drew You've done this enough times that you got to do that or we will be talking all over each other.

8:04🔗 Adam All right. But don't start talking when I'm talking.

8:06🔗 Drew I didn't know you were talking.

8:07🔗 Adam What do you mean you didn't know I was talking? You can see my mouth moving.

8:11🔗 Drew See?

8:12🔗 Adam All right. Anyway, Dave, what do you want?

8:15🔗 Caller Okay. Me and my girlfriend got together a couple of months ago. We started having sex and at first I couldn't come. And then I defeated that problem. And then a couple of nights ago I came too early once. And now when we try to, I just can't get it up. I can get it up. I just can't keep it hard.

8:34🔗 Melissa Howard That's just so painfully familiar. Someone please give him an answer so I can know too.

8:39🔗 Drew Oh, this is having you?

8:41🔗 Melissa Howard Oh my gosh. Yes. And I always thought it was me and I have that inadequate girl thing and I roll over and cry and all that.

8:47🔗 Drew So this happens all the time with you.

8:48🔗 Melissa Howard I don't know about all the time. I'm not that skank, but I mean.

8:52🔗 Drew Well, that skank may be intimidating. No. This guy's sort of wilt under pressure.

8:57🔗 Adam No. Melissa, your guys are all drunk or high in coke or something and that's why they have difficulty, right?

9:02🔗 Melissa Howard That's the only time I can get a guy. Definitely he has to be intoxicated.

9:04🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

9:06🔗 Caller I was and I was on Adderall and Ritalin for quite a while and I stopped for a few months.

9:12🔗 Drew Have you tried resurrecting since then?

9:15🔗 Caller Huh?

9:16🔗 Caller Resurrecting as in?

9:17🔗 Adam Your penis.

9:19🔗 Caller No.

9:20🔗 Adam No. Okay listen, Dave, here's the deal. You just need to stick with this one chick and work it out. There's no magic drill here.

9:28🔗 Drew But Adam, it all happened while he was on meds.

9:30🔗 Adam No, no, no.

9:31🔗 Caller I wasn't on meds when it happened.

9:32🔗 Drew You weren't on meds when it happened.

9:32🔗 I stopped long before.

9:34🔗 Melissa Howard Did you have this problem prior to this girl?

9:36🔗 Caller I actually was a virgin until I met her.

9:38🔗 Caller Oh.

9:40🔗 Adam And how long have you been with her?

9:41🔗 Caller A couple months.

9:42🔗 Drew I agree with Adam.

9:43🔗 Adam Yeah, still young, still new. You just work it out. I mean, you've covered every base. You haven't been able to get it up. You couldn't come. You came too quickly. You've done everything, but do it right. Your next one's bound to work.

9:58🔗 Drew This is Phil. He's 18. Phil?

10:00🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Hey.

10:01🔗 Drew Hey, Phil.

10:01🔗 Caller Hi. My best friend, he was in college, but then he lost his scholarship to his first force to join the Navy. But like over the summer, he became like really good friends with one of my co-workers. And me and her are good friends. And now he's gone and me and her hang out all the time. And I don't know like what I should do, because I mean, I really like this girl.

10:27🔗 Drew I mean, she's funny.

10:28🔗 Melissa Howard What's the problem? Is he involved with her?

10:30🔗 Drew Right. He's a friendship. He's a friend of hers?

10:33🔗 Caller No, they were like almost dating.

10:36🔗 Melissa Howard You know, almost.

10:37🔗 Drew What is all? What is that? You're talking all those riddles. What is almost dating?

10:40🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. Drew and I are almost dating.

10:43🔗 Drew In fact, we're sort of past that.

10:44🔗 Caller I almost date. Like we would have beach parties, and they would always like wake up in the morning, and they were always like, like together, like next to the like the fire, you know?

10:54🔗 Adam Okay, what has he said about her?

10:57🔗 Caller Not much. He doesn't like talking about his girlfriends and still like all the guys in her.

11:03🔗 Adam Well, so then it's his girlfriend.

11:05🔗 Melissa Howard Their established boyfriend and girlfriend?

11:08🔗 Caller No, they never, they never made it.

11:09🔗 Adam Okay, hang up on Phil. Hang up on him. I've had enough of his ass.

11:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

11:14🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. All we're trying to figure out for Christ's sake is whether his friend was screwing her or hanging out with her.

11:23🔗 Melissa Howard And if they're not, then she's free game.

11:25🔗 Drew Right.

11:26🔗 Adam Right.

11:26🔗 Drew And if there's no way he could know, she's free game. In other words, if he couldn't possibly know that it was a girlfriend, that's fine.

11:31🔗 Adam Only our callers are that stupid. They can't figure out what we're asking them.

11:36🔗 Drew Well, they can't figure out. We need information.

11:38🔗 Adam That's the world's most obvious question.

11:40🔗 Melissa Howard We're mean.

11:41🔗 Drew No.

11:41🔗 Adam I've had enough of everyone.

11:43🔗 I don't know.

11:44🔗 Drew Nick. Nick. Nick. Nick. Nick.

11:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:48🔗 Drew 20. What's up?

11:50🔗 Caller I went to a doctor's office and a doctor prescribed me with a medicine for a yeast infection.

11:56🔗 Drew In the urethra?

11:58🔗 Caller Around the tip, around the head.

12:00🔗 Drew Okay. Well, there you go. Joe, are you uncircumcised?

12:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:03🔗 Drew Okay.

12:03🔗 Adam He had a little yeasty on the peckeroo.

12:08🔗 Caller I was wondering if I waited so long that it would travel up the urethra?

12:12🔗 Drew No. And what?

12:14🔗 Caller And go up in the sperm?

12:15🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. Men will harbor yeast in the urethra, but it doesn't become systemic. It doesn't sort of blossom into a true infection like it would in a woman.

12:25🔗 Adam Is this just the topical cream he told you to rub on?

12:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:29🔗 Adam Yeah. Do you masturbate when you rub that on?

12:32🔗 Caller No.

12:33🔗 Melissa Howard Well, for the sake of your girlfriend, use condoms, because you could pass it on to her, and then a girl's yeast infection is just unbelievably not handleable.

12:40🔗 Drew It's very true.

12:42🔗 Adam Yeah, she probably gave it to him in the first place.

12:44🔗 Drew It could be. Vince Tw- well, he's non-circumcised. He could have had it for a long time.

12:48🔗 Caller Hello?

12:48🔗 Drew Vince, 19.

12:49🔗 Caller Yeah. I overdosed on ecstasy about one year ago, and it was while I was taking dextromethorphine as well. And I've been completely clean now for all the time after that. But I guess as recently as about two months after that, several times a week, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and I'd be completely paralyzed.

13:19🔗 Drew You'd be locked in. You couldn't quite wake up from your sleep.

13:22🔗 Caller Yeah, I couldn't.

13:24🔗 Drew You can't move a muscle.

13:26🔗 Caller I could not move a muscle. Sometimes my body would actually shake, and I'd actually have to force myself to breathe. It seemed like my breathing would not... I couldn't breathe. The voluntary action was gone. I had to...

13:37🔗 Drew There are all kinds of interesting syndromes like this associated with the injury of ecstasy. I've seen people get locked in like that, and even when they're awake, they stay locked in.

13:47🔗 Caller Yeah, that happens a lot. Sometimes even after I'm completely awake, I feel like I'm in a almost deep hypnosis.

13:52🔗 Drew Well, again, this drug injures the limbic areas of the brain, and the larger the dose, the more severe the injury tends to be.

13:59🔗 Adam How much did you take?

14:01🔗 Caller Around 20 tablets.

14:02🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

14:03🔗 Adam Jeez, what are you trying to do, smuggle it over the border or something? Did the condom you had in your ass break? I mean, 20? What do you need 20 for?

14:13🔗 Caller Actually, I've been taking it about every other day for a couple of years before that, and I just worked up to that point where, in order to get the feeling, I had to take that much.

14:22🔗 Drew All right. Well, this is not the result of that exposure. This is the result of the cumulative effect of the period of time you were using this drug. You're going to be very, very depressed forever, frankly.

14:33🔗 Adam Really?

14:34🔗 Drew So, yes.

14:34🔗 Adam Now, he's really going to be depressed.

14:35🔗 Drew No, it's just the nature of the bile. Do you have memory problems too?

14:39🔗 Caller Yeah, very bad short-term memory.

14:41🔗 Drew Yeah, memory and depression and panic. Are you having panic or anxiety?

14:45🔗 Caller Ever since then, I've had a very bad panic before they had me on Klonopin.

14:49🔗 Drew Right. But does the doctor know that this is where this started, with the ecstasy?

14:53🔗 Caller I've explained it to them, and they really, every time I've mentioned this problem, they really don't have an answer for me.

15:00🔗 Drew Well, I tell you what, if you go on the web, check out the National Institute of Health, Dr. Alan Leshner, who is Mr. Ecstasy. I actually gave a presentation with him in Washington, and it's well documented, all this stuff. And you should be treated by a doctor that's used to treating the injury associated with ecstasy, because it's severe. It is a severe injury, and it can be treated, though.

15:21🔗 Melissa Howard Well, is he gonna have to take drugs for the rest of his life?

15:23🔗 Caller Absolutely. So is it...

15:25🔗 Adam Do his friends call him Mr. Ecstasy?

15:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:29🔗 Adam All right.

15:29🔗 Drew And you're Mrs. Ecstasy, right? I'm Lord Ecstasy.

15:33🔗 Adam Lord Ecstasy, that's right. King Ecstasy, that's right. 20 tablets.

15:39🔗 Caller Yeah. I guess what I'm concerned about is I feel very, very close to death when this is actually happening.

15:45🔗 Drew No, no, no. I know of nothing like that. It's really more of a seizure phenomenon than anything. It's something you really do need to see a psychiatrist or a neurologist that's used to seeing this injury because it's not what you're describing I've seen many times.

15:59🔗 Caller All right. I felt like I was pretty alone when I came to this.

16:02🔗 Drew Well, it's an unfortunate thing because it's a real injury, but it is also treatable.

16:06🔗 Caller Okay. Well, thanks a lot.

16:07🔗 Drew All right.

16:07🔗 Adam All right, Vance. Take care of yourself.

16:09🔗 Drew The memory thing associated with this is what you can't treat. And that's the part that people find very frustrating. I'm depressed.

16:17🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, Jesus Christ, the guy's doing a hit every other day. And if he says every other day, it might be five days a week and then 20 hits just to get off.

16:26🔗 Drew You know, if he gets attention, these guys at National Institute of Health, they're going to want to study him. They're going to do PET scans and things. Sid is 15. Sid.

16:33🔗 Hello?

16:34🔗 Drew Hey, Sid.

16:35🔗 I just have a question. I have problems staring at people's bodily parts. I'll be, you know.

16:42🔗 Drew Adam, this is the Corolla syndrome, isn't it?

16:45🔗 Excuse me?

16:46🔗 Adam You stare at body parts?

16:48🔗 Melissa Howard What body parts?

16:49🔗 I'll just stare at a girl's butt and I feel like a pervert. And they see me and they're like, oh, what's his problem?

16:57🔗 Melissa Howard How old are you?

16:58🔗 I'm 15.

16:59🔗 Melissa Howard That's so normal, I think. Staring at butts and boobs and whatnot?

17:03🔗 Adam I'm going to stare at this chick's boobs.

17:06🔗 Drew Anderson, how did you come up with that? That was good.

17:09🔗 Adam I don't know. He's not doing enough X at Anderson. His memory's too good.

17:13🔗 Drew Hey, Pops, it's E.

17:15🔗 Adam I mean E. Hey, listen. Okay. What were you the king of E?

17:21🔗 Drew Lord Ecstasy.

17:21🔗 Adam Lord Ecstasy. I'm telling you, we went over this the other night.

17:26🔗 Drew I know.

17:26🔗 Adam People call it X.

17:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

17:28🔗 Adam How dare you accuse me of not being hip?

17:31🔗 Drew Hey, you know what?

17:32🔗 Adam Sid's a jerk. Forget Sid. What is he saying? He's 15. He stares at asses. Who cares? Stop it. Or put those cop sunglasses on. That's what I do.

17:43🔗 Drew This is Darcy, 17.

17:46🔗 Caller Yes. First of all, let me say, Dr. Drew, I love it when you're on Big Brother.

17:49🔗 Drew Oh, thanks, Darcy.

17:50🔗 Caller And I hope that Eddie wins.

17:51🔗 Drew I do too. Okay. That was my swan song yesterday. I'm just going to sort of wave goodbye tomorrow. But it will be interesting. All ten of the housemates are coming back tomorrow.

18:01🔗 Caller That's good. My question is...

18:02🔗 Drew She's very interested in this.

18:04🔗 Adam You know what's funny? You know what's funny about our callers? Even when they try to pay a compliment, they're only so interested.

18:12🔗 Drew I know. It's that nice.

18:13🔗 Adam Like, hey, I love you on Big Brother. I hope Eddie wins. Yeah, me too. You know, tomorrow night will be, uh-huh. Anyway.

18:19🔗 I'm sorry.

18:21🔗 Caller Okay, my question is, on my chest, I have like pimples or like they're black. I don't know if they're black or not, but I've tried everything and they just, they won't go away.

18:30🔗 Drew Do you have on your face too?

18:32🔗 Caller No.

18:33🔗 Adam Just your chest?

18:34🔗 Caller Yeah, just my chest. And I've tried everything. I've tried lotions. I've tried different body washes and soaps and things, and it doesn't go away.

18:41🔗 Drew Have you seen a dermatologist?

18:42🔗 Caller Yeah. They said they don't know what they, they told me to do the exact same thing that I tried.

18:46🔗 Melissa Howard They're not pimples?

18:48🔗 Adam No.

18:48🔗 Melissa Howard Are they freckle looking?

18:50🔗 Caller Not really.

18:51🔗 Drew What color is your skin?

18:52🔗 Caller I'm pale, like white.

18:54🔗 Adam Can you pop them? Can you squeeze them out?

18:55🔗 Caller Is it a pore? Some I can. I don't know what it's caused from, though. And it's underneath my breast as well.

19:01🔗 Adam Ooh, that's a turn on. And...

19:05🔗 Caller They're not that noticeable.

19:06🔗 Adam Yeah, no, you don't get to them. But listen, you know like when you get a blackhead on your nose or something, you can kind of push it out?

19:14🔗 Caller It's kind of like that, yeah, but not all of them. Some of them are just like hard.

19:19🔗 Adam What about using some of that scrub, like that apricot shell scrub or something?

19:24🔗 Caller I've tried all of that.

19:25🔗 Melissa Howard That might irritate it. You should use something all natural.

19:28🔗 Drew Did you see a dermatologist?

19:29🔗 Adam Where the hell does apricot shell come from? The lab?

19:32🔗 Melissa Howard If it's in that peach bottle, then that has all the chemicals in it.

19:35🔗 Adam Oh, that's fine. Oh, push. It's just a bunch of pumice. You just rub it on. There's a bunch of shells. You get a loofah and rub on it with that and then put some of that oxyten on there.

19:46🔗 Melissa Howard But she said it doesn't work.

19:48🔗 Adam Well, if nothing works, then what are we talking about? There's nothing she can do.

19:52🔗 Drew Darcy?

19:52🔗 Caller Yes?

19:53🔗 Drew You need something that dissolves comido, okay?

19:56🔗 Caller Okay.

19:56🔗 Drew Comido dissolving. And I believe the retinae would be probably one of the more likely things to do that.

20:02🔗 Adam What's comido?

20:03🔗 Drew Comido is the toothpaste-like stuff that comes out of there when you squeeze.

20:08🔗 Adam Why do you need something that dissolves that?

20:10🔗 Drew Because it's stuck in there. It won't come out.

20:13🔗 Adam And that forms the blackhead?

20:15🔗 Drew Right. The blackhead is just the top part of the comido.

20:17🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, I thought it was sebum.

20:18🔗 Drew Sebum is the production, what's produced from the gland. The comido is just considered the overall little plug. You know, the vitamin A type drugs like retinae or, what am I thinking of, Accutane. Did you see a dermatologist?

20:36🔗 Caller Yeah, they told me that. It was just like blackheads. And I don't have acne on my face or any place else.

20:41🔗 Drew Ask them about things to dissolve. Go back, because there should be lots of things that you can do.

20:45🔗 Adam You should even get some retinae. Yeah. And listen, you know, these dermatologists, they are the worst the doctor world has to offer, Drew. They really are. I went to a dermatologist once because I have that neck rash. Yeah. The guy told me to grow a beard, charged me 50 bucks and told me to go home. What the hell is that? Do you know what I'm saying? Isn't this a science? Do you know what I mean?

21:07🔗 Drew So you instead went and got laser.

21:09🔗 Adam Well, this is ten years ago. The point is, is if someone comes in with a problem, shouldn't they be trying to help them?

21:17🔗 Ooh.

21:18🔗 Drew Here's an interesting question for after the break. There's a pharmacist on the line who wants to know if it's okay to sell needles to addicts.

21:24🔗 Adam That's solid, Drew.

21:25🔗 Drew That's interesting. All right. Do you want to hear the Elmer whose mom just died and his dad is in prison for rape?

21:31🔗 Adam No. What else do we have to choose from?

21:33🔗 Drew 13-year-old is starting having sex with a 42-year-old neighbor.

21:36🔗 Adam Nice. Nice. Yeah, that sounds good. Let's talk to the 13-year-old and then we'll go to the pharmacist and then we'll go to the incarcerated.

21:44🔗 Drew All right.

21:45🔗 Adam All right. In the meantime, we'll take ourselves a little break. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World, the New Orleans edition, and we'll be back after this.

21:55🔗 You know what I'm saying, I'm there?

21:57🔗 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

22:33🔗 Adam Hey, this is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is the docile Dr. Drew over there.

22:37🔗 Drew You know, what do you mean? Hey, hold on a second. We went through three times the number of calls in that 20 minutes that we normally do in an hour.

22:46🔗 Adam You've mailed it in tonight, Drew.

22:48🔗 Drew Oh, give me a break.

22:50🔗 Adam There you go. There's a little life out of you. That's what I was trying to get. Sure, we go through a thousand calls a night if we didn't care, but I care. That's my problem. I care too much.

23:00🔗 Drew All right.

23:02🔗 Adam You know what else, Drew? I'm in love with the notion of being in love. Yeah.

23:06🔗 Drew Melissa, can you imagine that? Doesn't he seem like that kind of guy?

23:10🔗 Melissa Howard I'm that way too.

23:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

23:12🔗 Adam Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from the Real World, the latest one, the New Orleans edition. She's the one who's in her underpants up on stage and her underpants in the bathtub. She's in her underpants.

23:23🔗 Melissa Howard In the bathtub, they didn't air that footage.

23:26🔗 Adam I saw that. Yes, I did. What do you mean, they didn't air it?

23:30🔗 Melissa Howard No, there was a time where I was in the bathtub in my panties.

23:33🔗 Adam That's right.

23:33🔗 Melissa Howard Screaming about Mr. Bubble, but that never made TV.

23:36🔗 Adam Oh, yes, it did. You were drunk and you forgot about it, but I saw that. What do you think? I'm at some sort of MTV screening room or something watching outtakes? Absolutely not. That was on TV. That was for God, your parents, and everyone to see. Now, what happened? Quiet down over there, Drew. What happened to the good looking guy? What's his name?

23:58🔗 Melissa Howard Which one? The gay one or the regular one? The regular one.

24:03🔗 Adam You mean the normal one?

24:04🔗 Melissa Howard The heterosexual or the homosexual?

24:06🔗 Adam The hetero.

24:07🔗 Melissa Howard Jamie?

24:08🔗 Adam He's a good kid.

24:09🔗 Melissa Howard I love him.

24:10🔗 Adam That's the one you like, right?

24:11🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, yeah.

24:12🔗 Adam Yeah. What happened with him?

24:14🔗 Melissa Howard I mean, look at the show. You've got this black guy who's promiscuous and a player. I'm not going to go for that. You've got this gay guy who's gorgeous, but he's gay, so what's the point in that? And then you've got this cute kind of alternative guy who's hyper-Catholic and he's a virgin, and he's probably never even thought about vaginas, so I'm not going to go for that. And what's left is Jamie.

24:33🔗 Adam Right. Yeah, you guys had a little chemistry, but I don't know, it kind of faded. What's up?

24:39🔗 Melissa Howard I don't know. Talk to the editors.

24:41🔗 Adam Did it ever work out?

24:42🔗 Melissa Howard No. We're just really awesome, very good friends.

24:45🔗 Adam I see. All right. He broke your heart?

24:47🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, totally. It's broken every day.

24:49🔗 Adam Yeah, you're into him. I was starting to get into him after a while.

24:52🔗 Melissa Howard He's hot.

24:53🔗 Adam All right. Who are we talking to, Drew?

24:54🔗 Drew Colleen. She's 15. Colleen? Hi.

24:57🔗 Caller Hi. What's up? Okay. When I was 11 years old, I moved to San Francisco and I moved next door to this guy. And he became a family friend and I started to trust him. And when I was 13 years old, we started having sex. And it was consensual. And then it went on for three years.

25:22🔗 Drew Colleen, there's no such thing as consensual sex between a 13-year-old and a 42-year-old. Let me put it this way. Would there be consensual sex between somebody your age, 15, and like a 12-year-old?

25:32🔗 Caller No.

25:32🔗 Drew Okay. Now imagine a 42-year-old and a 12-year-old.

25:35🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, it was consensual in the sense that he didn't pull a stiletto on you.

25:40🔗 Drew Right. Yeah.

25:41🔗 Adam But other than that. And you said it went on for three years.

25:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:45🔗 Adam I mean, you were 13 and you're 15 now.

25:47🔗 Drew That would make you 16.

25:49🔗 Adam But it ended last summer.

25:51🔗 Caller It ended in July, yeah.

25:55🔗 Adam So it just ended.

25:56🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah. Where's your mom in all of this?

26:00🔗 Caller Well, she's here. She supports me and all.

26:04🔗 Drew The real question is where's dad?

26:05🔗 Caller Oh, where's dad? Dad's still here. Dad's in the picture still.

26:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:10🔗 Adam Really?

26:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:11🔗 Melissa Howard And the family trusted this 42-year-old man to come in and have sex with their child?

26:16🔗 Caller They didn't know it was happening, of course.

26:18🔗 Drew Your dad isn't checked out in some way? Your dad is not checked out in some way?

26:22🔗 Caller What do you mean? No.

26:23🔗 Adam Alcoholic something?

26:25🔗 Caller Well, yeah, he's an alcoholic.

26:27🔗 Drew All right. That's more like it.

26:28🔗 Adam There we go. Now it's making sense. And how often did you have sex with this 42-year-old guy?

26:35🔗 Caller Three or four times a week.

26:37🔗 Adam Holy Christ. And now, was he married or did he have anybody?

26:42🔗 Caller No. Not that I knew of. You got to tell you.

26:45🔗 Drew I wish you would tell your parents about this. Can you tell your parents about this?

26:49🔗 Caller They know.

26:49🔗 Drew They know?

26:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:51🔗 Melissa Howard She said they're supportive.

26:53🔗 Adam No, she didn't mean it that way. They weren't supportive about the relationship, were they?

26:58🔗 Caller No, they didn't know about it. Right.

27:01🔗 Drew But they know now?

27:02🔗 Caller Yeah, they know now.

27:02🔗 Drew How'd they find out?

27:04🔗 Caller Well, he was arrested.

27:05🔗 Drew Oh, good.

27:07🔗 Adam How did he get arrested?

27:09🔗 Caller We were caught together.

27:11🔗 Drew Cool.

27:13🔗 Adam Where were you?

27:14🔗 Caller In his car.

27:16🔗 Adam Is that where you normally did it?

27:18🔗 Caller No. That's where we were that day.

27:20🔗 Adam Okay. Colleen?

27:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:23🔗 Adam Here's how this conversation is going to work from this point on. I'm going to ask questions and then you're going to keep going and fill things in for us. You know what I mean?

27:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:32🔗 Adam Like when we ask how he got caught and you say he was arrested, you then keep going and talk about how it was when you guys were together and that kind of stuff, right?

27:40🔗 Caller Okay.

27:41🔗 Adam All right. So you guys had sex where most of the time?

27:45🔗 Caller In his house.

27:46🔗 Adam So you just go to his house like three days a week?

27:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

27:50🔗 Melissa Howard So what would you tell your parents when you're going to his house?

27:54🔗 Hold on.

27:56🔗 Adam That's well. Well, they were friends. He was a friend of the family, so they didn't suspect anything.

28:02🔗 Yeah.

28:02🔗 Caller So they didn't, they didn't like, yeah.

28:05🔗 Adam They didn't question it.

28:06🔗 Yeah.

28:07🔗 Adam Now, he got-

28:08🔗 Melissa Howard Do they think you guys are playing Monopoly or something?

28:10🔗 Caller I guess. I don't know.

28:12🔗 Adam Well, they're bad parents and dad's more into the bottle than he is to Colleen, so he's out of it.

28:18🔗 Caller Right.

28:18🔗 Adam And that's where she went for attention. Exactly. He got arrested and they arrested him right there on the spot?

28:24🔗 Caller Yeah, they did, because I was sitting on top of his lap, so they suspected something.

28:32🔗 Adam And they asked to see ID and how old you were and all that stuff?

28:37🔗 Yeah.

28:39🔗 Caller And they looked up his record, and he, I guess, had other priors.

28:42🔗 Drew Surprise.

28:43🔗 Adam And so is he in jail now?

28:45🔗 Caller Yeah, he is.

28:46🔗 Drew Hallelujah. One story ends satisfactorily.

28:50🔗 Adam Yeah. How long is he going to be in there?

28:52🔗 Caller Well, see, I don't know. See, my question is, like...

28:55🔗 Adam What do you mean you don't know? How long is he in for?

28:57🔗 Caller Well, we go to trial on November 7th, because he, yesterday was his plea. He will not guilty.

29:08🔗 Melissa Howard So are you still in a relationship with this man?

29:11🔗 Caller What?

29:11🔗 Melissa Howard Are you still, like, trying to forego a relationship with this man?

29:14🔗 Adam Well, they have conjugal visits.

29:18🔗 Drew What's your question, Colleen?

29:20🔗 Caller Okay, I heard that if I say something that I left out of my, of what the cops questioned me about, you know?

29:29🔗 Adam Deposition, yeah.

29:30🔗 Caller If I leave something out or if I forget to say something, you know that he can walk. Is that true?

29:38🔗 Drew Yeah, if you forget to say that you were having sex with him.

29:41🔗 Caller Okay, that, okay.

29:42🔗 Adam You're not going to forget that, are you?

29:44🔗 Caller No.

29:45🔗 Adam Do you want to see him go to jail?

29:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I do now.

29:48🔗 Drew Good.

29:49🔗 Adam Why do you now?

29:53🔗 Drew She found out there were other girls.

29:54🔗 Caller Yeah, I found out there were other girls and I just came to a realization.

29:59🔗 Adam Right. Okay, so you know he's a bad guy.

30:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:03🔗 Adam Okay, so all you got to do is get up there and tell the truth.

30:06🔗 Caller Okay.

30:06🔗 Drew And are you getting some treatment for this?

30:08🔗 Caller Yeah, I am.

30:09🔗 Drew All right, good. That's important. You just take care of yourself and get this thing behind you.

30:13🔗 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. And you know what drives me nuts? There are guys who sold a couple of dime bags at a Grateful Dead concert that are rotting in prison. And guys like this are getting suspended sentences and probation and slaps on the wrist.

30:29🔗 Drew He's pleading not guilty.

30:29🔗 Adam It drives me insane.

30:30🔗 Drew He's pleading not guilty.

30:32🔗 Adam Well, everyone pleads not guilty. What do you want them to do?

30:36🔗 Drew No contest.

30:38🔗 Adam All right.

30:39🔗 Drew We found him having sex with a 14-year-old for god sakes. Sheila.

30:43🔗 Adam She looked 15 and a half.

30:45🔗 Drew Sheila.

30:46🔗 Hi. Thank you. Well, Adam, speaking of drugs, I am a pharmacist like your Scott Coles-Greener mentioned. I would like to say I love The Man Show and Dr. Drew.

30:56🔗 Caller Thank you.

30:58🔗 This program should be required listening for all healthcare professionals.

31:03🔗 Caller God bless you. So much.

31:05🔗 Adam Thank you, Sheila.

31:06🔗 Okay.

31:07🔗 Adam Sheila, hold on a second. You're not from the Southern California, Los Angeles area, are you?

31:14🔗 No, I'm not.

31:15🔗 Adam No, of course you're not. You know how I know that?

31:18🔗 Why?

31:18🔗 Adam Because you're a pharmacist and you speak English.

31:21🔗 I speak English.

31:23🔗 Adam Yes. They do not let people who speak English become pharmacists in the Los Angeles area.

31:30🔗 Well, I'll tell you something, Adam. If I moved to the Los Angeles area, my my salary would increase.

31:36🔗 Adam No, are you kidding? You wouldn't work. You'd have to drive a truck or a forklift. You could not find work as a pharmacist, not in the Los Angeles area.

31:46🔗 Actually to the contrary. Anyway, what my question is...

31:50🔗 Drew She misses your point. I think she's not lived here to appreciate what you're saying.

31:53🔗 Adam All right.

31:54🔗 You're right. That's true.

31:55🔗 Adam I'll be appreciated long after I'm dead. Go ahead.

31:58🔗 Oh, I hope that's a long time from now. Well, my question is, Dr. Drew, as you proudly well know, most drugs and abuse come from me and my colleagues. Mainly, most of the insulin syringes I sell, I know I'm selling it to addicts, to users.

32:14🔗 Drew Wow.

32:15🔗 And I always ponder, you know, to myself, you know, that the ethical dilemma that I feel is it better to sell these things and prevent the spread of AIDS, or am I selling them to support people's habits?

32:28🔗 Drew Well, here's how I look at it, is I don't have any problem with the distribution of sterile needles. I agree with the idea that you at least try to prevent the spread of infectious disease. However, one of the ways that you help these people keep them from dying of their disease is to create consequences. So if I imagine most of them are forging the prescriptions, so if you can call the DEA or whoever you would contact to.

32:55🔗 Caller Oh, I'm sorry. In Utah, where I'm from, needles do not require a prescription.

33:01🔗 Drew Oh, they just come and get them.

33:03🔗 Caller Right.

33:03🔗 Drew Oh, that's interesting. Well, then that's fine. I don't think you're in a position to precipitate any consequence that would help them come to treatment. Really you're doing a service preventing the spread of disease. That's fine.

33:14🔗 Adam What's a syringe run these days?

33:17🔗 Caller A 10-pack will go for anywhere from $4 to $7.

33:21🔗 Adam 10-pack. That's not bad. I can give them for $3.50, but that's not bad for Utah.

33:27🔗 Drew You just told me you were selling them on the street for $10.

33:30🔗 Adam Well, Drew, I got to turn them over. Hello, I got to pay rent. Jesus Christ. I told you not to talk about that.

33:38🔗 Caller Gee, thanks Adam.

33:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, listen, you know these people are junkies by track marks, or their build, or their demeanor, or you can just tell.

33:50🔗 Caller Right. Exactly. All of the above.

33:53🔗 Drew Do you ever think about talking to them, confronting them, and saying, listen, I know what you're using this for. Think about...

33:57🔗 Caller You know, I occasionally have, but of course, you know, they're very abrupt. You know, here's my money. I want my syringes. You know, they're not...

34:05🔗 Drew They're not ready...

34:06🔗 Caller .in a mode to talk.

34:07🔗 Drew Yeah, they're not ready. And keep some literature up there about recovery or NA or something. Just keep them exposed to that stuff. And that's about all you can do. All right.

34:17🔗 Caller Okay. Well, thank you so much. Boy, if I could ever attend a conference or a seminar that you do, I would love to do it. Any place where I could find some information on the web or anywhere?

34:27🔗 Drew Where I'm going to be speaking?

34:29🔗 Caller Yeah, any, you know, engagements or seminars or whatever.

34:34🔗 Drew Yeah, at drdrew.com, they should be posting sort of appearances, that sort of thing, under... I don't know what the title is, but there's a place on the site.

34:42🔗 Adam He's going to be at a Red Lobster in La Harbra, I think, coming up next month on the 22nd. You're opening a salad bar over there, Drew, is that true?

34:50🔗 Drew La Harbra?

34:52🔗 Adam Yeah.

34:52🔗 Drew La Harbra?

34:54🔗 Caller La Harbra.

34:55🔗 Adam La Harbra? La Harbra? All right, who cares? Thanks for crapping all over that one, Drew.

35:01🔗 Drew Chase21. Adam, you barely checked in tonight. We've been heated up a little bit. Oh, for Christ's sake. I know it's three in the morning there in New York, but come on.

35:09🔗 Adam How dare you?

35:11🔗 Drew And by the way, I'm just enjoying the fact that you're going to be up at 5 o'clock in the morning to catch an airplane.

35:17🔗 Adam Well, the joke's on you because I'm going to sleep for an hour and a half. First, I've got to sell some needles out on the street. Who's on?

35:26🔗 Drew Chase.

35:27🔗 Caller Hey, long time listener, six time caller.

35:29🔗 Drew Six time caller.

35:30🔗 Caller Told me I needed a t-shirt last time. I told you that. Anyhow, what's up, guys?

35:35🔗 Adam How old are you, Chase? Drew, start spitting out the range.

35:37🔗 Drew I said it.

35:38🔗 Adam No, you didn't.

35:39🔗 Drew Chase, 21.

35:40🔗 Caller Basically, okay, Sunday night, I had a couple of friends come over, two guys, two of my friends brought girlfriends, and they brought a friend who was a guy for me, I guess. Anyhow, like, I've been basically abstaining for about a year, and in April, I kind of went on this little spree, I guess, and I'm basically, after I'm with someone, I guess, after I'm with the guy, I really realize, I don't know, it's almost a feeling of like, maybe I shouldn't be doing this, or maybe it's just like not my thing anymore, or it's sometimes afterwards and sometimes during, so it's separate from a guilt feeling or anything like that.

36:20🔗 Drew Didn't you tell us a story about having been abused or something funny? Didn't something happen to you?

36:25🔗 Caller Did I?

36:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:26🔗 Adam Laugh out loud story. I think your uncle raped you or something?

36:30🔗 Caller No, I had some sexual abuse, but I had never really talked about it on the show though.

36:35🔗 Drew When was that?

36:36🔗 Caller How old were you? Well, one time I was 15. I know you guys always say that it always happens before that. Lately, in the past, maybe a year and a half, I've been thinking about, I've had little memories of little stuff, but I can't place a person to it or anything.

36:52🔗 Drew How old do you think you were?

36:54🔗 Caller Somewhere between probably three and six.

36:58🔗 Drew Maybe that's set you up, maybe you're coming to terms with that in some way, maybe it's really not a important force in your sexual identity, and you're ambivalent about who you are.

37:09🔗 Adam Well, let me ask you this, Drew. Yeah. We talk about guys and women, but guys a lot of time, they get tampered with sexually by a male at a young age, and then they become either bisexual or homosexual later on in life magically. But to me, that's not as organic as the ones that knew they were gay from the word go.

37:33🔗 Drew Oh, right. Absolutely.

37:34🔗 Adam And maybe with Chase, he was tampered with a little bit, but maybe not enough, and maybe it sent him down that path, but he doesn't have enough momentum to make it a life path for him.

37:45🔗 Drew Remember when I said that maybe it's not an important force in his sexual identity? And I said what you said in 14 sentences in about one sentence.

37:51🔗 Adam Yeah, but it was confusing the way you count it.

37:54🔗 Drew I see, I see. So, Chase, I would suggest that...

37:57🔗 Adam Chase, you didn't know what Drew was talking about, did you?

37:59🔗 Drew Of course he did.

38:00🔗 Caller Actually, I do.

38:01🔗 Ha, ha.

38:03🔗 Caller I'm drew.com also.

38:04🔗 Drew Thanks, Chase.

38:05🔗 Caller I love it. But the only thing is I've only met the girl once, and that was probably like three years ago.

38:10🔗 Drew I just think you need therapy to figure out who the hell you are. You may be gay, you may not be gay, but you got to figure that out. And that's not going to happen in life. You really need some time with a therapist to figure that one out, I think.

38:20🔗 Adam Drew, how much work did it take for you to realize you were gay? I mean, how many seconds?

38:25🔗 Drew Years.

38:25🔗 Adam So you were on the couch for years before it really set in?

38:28🔗 Drew Before it even occurred to me.

38:30🔗 Adam I see. Are you ready to take a break here, Drew?

38:32🔗 Drew Yes, indeed I am.

38:33🔗 Caller You're gay.

38:34🔗 Adam Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World, New Orleans edition. What is this show on? It's on Sunday nights, right?

38:43🔗 Melissa Howard Tuesday nights at 10.

38:44🔗 Adam I mean, Tuesday nights at 10. Well, here's the deal with MTV. I see the show all the time and I never know when it's on because it's on all different times and maybe I'm catching the rerun.

38:56🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, they rerun it a lot.

38:59🔗 Adam Right. But the first run is Tuesdays 10 o'clock.

39:04🔗 Melissa Howard That's when you get a brand new one.

39:05🔗 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

39:08🔗 Drew I'm waiting for some calls to come through. Oh, wait, here we go. Here's BJ. This has got to be BS. A friend was visiting him and he started masturbating on his couch. Is that normal?

39:19🔗 Caller Do you want a blowjob or do you want a girlfriend?

39:21🔗 Adam It is at my house. We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

39:26🔗 Drew Back in a minute.

39:59🔗 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World. Hey, Melissa. MTV, Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock. You know, Drew?

40:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

40:13🔗 Adam I'm getting an ass full of these PSAs over here because I'm just sitting here with the headphones on with nothing to do. Haven't heard them in a while.

40:21🔗 Drew Great.

40:22🔗 Adam You know what I just heard? I heard the two old Jewish guys complaining about drinking water.

40:26🔗 Drew Water supply, yes.

40:27🔗 Adam Yeah, the water supply. We all know how bad that's going.

40:30🔗 Drew I mean, how bad can it be?

40:31🔗 Adam I ask you, how bad can it be? I mean, I shower. Forget about it. So I just realized what they do with all these things, whether it's secondhand smoke or bad drinking water. Here's what they love to do. It's all semantics. They say 5.8 million kids died last year from drinking unsafe drinking water and then they go, keep our rivers and our lakes clean. It ain't ours. How many kids you figure kicked off in the United States from drinking bad water?

41:01🔗 Drew Ten.

41:02🔗 Adam Ten. Okay, so 5.8 million. Okay, that's in Bangladesh.

41:06🔗 Drew Right, exactly.

41:07🔗 Adam Okay, so here's my point. Don't say our, say their. That's fine.

41:12🔗 Drew Or the world's water.

41:13🔗 Adam Say the world's. Don't say ours. And don't say 5.8 million and then our after it because it really makes us think that 5.8 million Americans died. And last of all, oh, I forgot my train of thought. I'm just pissed off, Drew.

41:28🔗 Drew You are really.

41:29🔗 Adam No, play that thing. Shut up and play that thing. Anderson, do you have that thing? These old Jews drive me nuts.

41:35🔗 Drew He's not listening to you. Are you kidding?

41:36🔗 Adam Oh, is he smoking?

41:37🔗 Caller What am I going to search through the whole scene?

41:38🔗 Adam Yeah, you know what they ought to do, Drew? They ought to play these things in different countries and leave this country out of it.

41:43🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

41:45🔗 Adam 5.8 million.

41:46🔗 Drew All right, so here's BJ. He's 18.

41:48🔗 Adam Where do you keep your wallet? Up your ass, you mutt.

41:52🔗 Drew BJ?

41:53🔗 It's VJ, not BJ.

41:55🔗 Drew It's VJ.

41:56🔗 Yeah. And second of all, this isn't BS. I wish it was.

41:58🔗 Drew Okay.

41:59🔗 But yeah, I live in a dorm. I go to U of I. And my friends came down to visit me, two of them.

42:04🔗 Drew Now, U of I is Illinois, Idaho, Indiana. Where?

42:08🔗 Caller Illinois.

42:08🔗 Drew Okay.

42:09🔗 Caller And they came down to visit me. We went out. We got really drunk or whatever. We came back. And I went to sleep, and my two friends were sleeping in the family room, in my apartment. And I woke up at like seven o'clock with like a big headache. And I go in, and one of my friends is outside on the porch, and another friend is jacking off, eating pizza, and watching porn. Yeah.

42:34🔗 Adam Welcome to college.

42:34🔗 Melissa Howard He's awesome. Keep him.

42:36🔗 Caller So, I mean, I didn't get a clear look at him, because I didn't have my glasses on, thank God. But I was wondering, like, I was wondering why he would do something like that. I asked him about it later, and he's just like...

42:45🔗 Drew It's because you put the VCR in that room.

42:48🔗 Caller What?

42:49🔗 Drew Adam explained.

42:51🔗 Adam Okay. He's drunk. He's college age. He jacks off every night before he goes to bed. And this night, he happened to be in your house.

43:01🔗 Drew He was in the designated jack room, right?

43:03🔗 Adam Right. That's where the VCR is.

43:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:05🔗 Caller It's a family room, though. I mean, anyone could have walked in on him, which someone did. Well, wait.

43:10🔗 Adam What do you mean family room?

43:11🔗 Caller Like a living area.

43:12🔗 Adam What family do you have?

43:13🔗 Caller It's an apartment.

43:14🔗 Melissa Howard You said he was eating pizza, watching porn and jacking off.

43:17🔗 Caller Right.

43:18🔗 Adam That's the hat trick.

43:19🔗 Melissa Howard That's so normal. It's like scripted.

43:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:22🔗 Adam It's a trifecta. That's fine. Hey, why are you so prude, VJ?

43:28🔗 Caller Why am I so prude?

43:30🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:31🔗 Caller It's a nasty thing. I don't want to wake up to a-

43:33🔗 Adam Yes.

43:34🔗 Drew Agreed. But don't put the VCR on the bathroom.

43:38🔗 Adam Listen, when you have your drunken buddies crash out on your sofa, that's what happens.

43:44🔗 Caller I think they'll be more prudent than that.

43:46🔗 Adam No.

43:46🔗 Melissa Howard He didn't ask you to join him, so I think things are cool.

43:49🔗 Caller All right.

43:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Leave the guy alone.

43:52🔗 Caller All right.

43:53🔗 Drew Well, maybe not invite him back to stay in the same living space with you. He obviously sort of spreads out.

43:59🔗 Adam Well, this is just a buddy of his, right? It's not his roommate.

44:01🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, it could be. But don't choose him.

44:04🔗 Adam Oh, my God. We would have beat VJ up in my day.

44:07🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

44:07🔗 Adam We would have labeled him a heretic.

44:09🔗 Drew Jeremy, 19.

44:11🔗 Caller Yeah. I got a question. My girlfriend takes birth control, the ortho tricycline.

44:17🔗 Drew Good.

44:17🔗 Caller And I heard that from a friend. If you take it for more than five years, like in your whole entire life, can you get like some kind of disease or something?

44:25🔗 Drew In fact, lower incidence of endometrial cancer, ovarian cancers, lesser incidence of complications of sexually transmitted diseases, there appears to be no significant risks. All benefits.

44:38🔗 Caller Like no matter how many years she takes it?

44:42🔗 Drew I don't know if I can say that with accuracy, but that five-year business appears to be inaccurate.

44:46🔗 Adam Well, don't scare the guy.

44:47🔗 Melissa Howard What about the varicose veins?

44:49🔗 Drew What about them?

44:50🔗 Melissa Howard Don't you get those in your legs and arms?

44:52🔗 Drew No.

44:54🔗 Melissa Howard We are on the right track.

44:55🔗 Adam We're really talking. I mean, you're talking about like 20 years of taking it through, right?

44:59🔗 Drew People in their 30s who smoke ought to not do it. People with migraines ought to not stay on it. But for the most part, women of childbearing age, if you are on it during your childbearing years, it seems to have no risk and maybe some significant benefits. Okay. All right. Thanks a lot. The risk, let's put it this way, the risk of pregnancy is vastly greater than the risk of taking the pill.

45:20🔗 Adam Well, 5.8 million people died giving birth last year.

45:25🔗 Drew Before the turn of the century, 20% of women would die in childbirth.

45:27🔗 Adam Oh, those were the days.

45:29🔗 Drew That's where the whole weaker sex thing came into being. What's up, Stephanie? 23.

45:36🔗 Hi. I had a question, or actually I was just looking for some advice about my roommate. She is bipolar and she also seems to have a drinking problem, as well as being addicted to marijuana. She's just getting really, really bad lately.

45:59🔗 Drew Is she seeing a psychiatrist regularly?

46:01🔗 Adam No.

46:03🔗 She was, and he put her on a whole slew of medication, which I don't understand because he knows about her drug addiction.

46:11🔗 Drew Well, but if she's bipolar, she has to be on medicines.

46:14🔗 Right.

46:15🔗 Adam Right. Stephanie, do you care about her?

46:19🔗 Caller Yeah. She's a very, very good friend of mine.

46:21🔗 Adam Really?

46:22🔗 Yeah.

46:22🔗 Adam I see you cut your losses and get out of there.

46:25🔗 Caller Well, I'm planning on moving in January anyways, but it's just in the meantime, I really I want to do something for her and for myself.

46:34🔗 Drew Well, then call the people that have been taking care of her and see. I mean, this you've never seen a bipolar go off and it's a sight to behold.

46:41🔗 I know.

46:42🔗 Caller I'm just I'm worried and it's affecting my life.

46:45🔗 Drew It's dangerous. I'm telling you, people die. This is a potentially fatal condition.

46:51🔗 Caller So do you think I should I should confront her?

46:53🔗 Drew No, I think you well, you ought to tell her to get back to her caretakers and call them if she won't. You're not going to be able to do anything. What are you going to do is when we got three different diagnoses, each of which are terribly complex and dangerous. Yeah. All right.

47:07🔗 Caller Okay. Thank you.

47:08🔗 Drew Okay.

47:08🔗 Caller Bye bye.

47:09🔗 Drew We got to wrap up, Adam.

47:10🔗 Adam All right. Who are we going to talk to when we come back to her?

47:13🔗 Drew We will talk to Antoinette where she goes through 20, she goes through phases where she cannot deal with sex at all.

47:19🔗 Adam Fantastic. Our guest tonight is Melissa Howard from MTV's Real World. We will take a little break and we will come back with Antoinette after this. It's the Loveline of Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World. The MTV's New Orleans Edition. And what is this? Melissa, is this number six?

48:23🔗 Melissa Howard Number nine. Oh my God.

48:24🔗 Adam Number nine.

48:26🔗 Melissa Howard We see you don't watch the show.

48:28🔗 Adam Oh no, wait a minute. Let's see, they started New York. And then they went to San Francisco. And then they went to Los Angeles and they went to Miami and they went to Hawaii and they went to Seattle. London. Oh, London. Oh, Boston. Yeah. And the fire station, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. I don't think I was on board with that one. I didn't get too into that one. Yeah, I forgot all about it. And now number nine in New Orleans. That house is amazing.

48:58🔗 Melissa Howard It is. It's a cute little set. It lasted for about five months.

49:03🔗 Adam Did you like it there?

49:05🔗 Melissa Howard It was nice.

49:06🔗 Adam It was that, is that, how do they do that? Is that someone's house that they take over?

49:11🔗 Melissa Howard They rented it from somebody, two guys who now are probably going to renovate it and make crazy loot off of it.

49:19🔗 Drew Turned into a real world museum.

49:23🔗 Adam Rent it out as the real world house?

49:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:26🔗 Melissa Howard And now it's, they took it back. I think they're changing it and maybe it'll be a bed and a breakfast now. Who knows?

49:33🔗 Adam And did, does MTV go in there and totally transform it? Or is?

49:39🔗 Melissa Howard There's no ceiling. It's all wires and microphones and cameras and lights.

49:46🔗 Adam And now, I mean, is it, I mean, I know it's a really bitching place to live, but you don't have your privacy and you have roommates and everything. Are you happier now out on your own?

49:58🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, I'll never have a roommate again. Never.

50:02🔗 Adam Oh, really?

50:02🔗 Melissa Howard I'm like paranoid. Like streetlights come on. And I think it's like the guy with the big Kino light jumping out to get me. I freak out. It's crazy.

50:10🔗 Adam How old were you when the first one- Did you watch the first one when it was in New York nine years ago?

50:15🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, yeah. A lot of cast members, they'll be like, Oh, I don't watch the show. I want to get on the show and change the world perception of X, Y, and Z. Oh, whatever. You watch the show. Why would you try out? Oh, yeah. I love the show.

50:27🔗 Caller It's good.

50:28🔗 Adam But, I mean, overall, how was your experience? Would you do it again?

50:34🔗 Melissa Howard I have to see the rest of the season. At this point, we're doing okay. Ask me like four or five, six episodes ago. Oh, never.

50:43🔗 Adam Why? Because the way they edited things?

50:46🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, yeah. I mean, so much went on in that house, and for a while, you feel like you're the only one who's being exploited, and so you hold resentment towards your roommates for like your story being on over and over and over again. And I mean, it's one 220th of who I am.

51:03🔗 Adam But do you feel like, and do other cast members feel like, that they sort of twist the truth a little bit in the editing process?

51:10🔗 Melissa Howard Well, I think some of us get the shaft in editing, and others are, you know, treated very well.

51:15🔗 Drew But this is the Big Brother people say the exact same thing. Yet when you talk to the housemates about the perceptions, their perceptions of the people who are claiming that they've been edited strangely, they come back and say, look, that's how you behaved. That's what you did. And they're just showing what you did.

51:31🔗 Melissa Howard I know, but it's a 22-minute show, and sometimes a show will be like 15 minutes of Melissa's nervous breakdown. I think if it's 22 minutes, it's have three minutes of this guy, three minutes of this girl.

51:41🔗 Drew That's boring TV.

51:42🔗 Adam You think that they sort of pick a theme and it could be Melissa and her wife.

51:46🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, I'm Melissa, the biracial drama queen.

51:49🔗 Adam Right, right.

51:50🔗 Melissa Howard I mean, it works though. It's funny sometimes. I mean, let's move on to someone else now. You know what I mean?

51:58🔗 Adam All right. Well, you got to keep quiet then.

52:01🔗 Drew It's very simple. Yeah, it's very simple. If the drama is what they're looking for, and if you provide the drama, that's what they're going to show. That's a simple equation.

52:10🔗 Adam There we go.

52:11🔗 Drew Antoinette, 20.

52:12🔗 Hi.

52:13🔗 Caller How are you guys?

52:14🔗 Caller Good.

52:15🔗 I just want to say, Melissa, I love you.

52:17🔗 Melissa Howard Thank you.

52:18🔗 I've been watching since the very first one, New York, and finally, there's a Filipina in there.

52:23🔗 Melissa Howard Ruthie was Filipino. She was part Filipino.

52:26🔗 Yeah.

52:27🔗 Adam Oh, Ruthie from Hawaii?

52:29🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah.

52:30🔗 Partly, but she seemed more Hawaiian to me. But anyways, I have this question that I go through phases sometimes where I don't want to have sex with my boyfriend. We've been together for three and a half years, and it's been going on for probably about six months.

52:47🔗 Drew Wait, you don't go through phases. You've just shut down over the last six months.

52:50🔗 There'll be times where I do, and there was one point for maybe two months where I just didn't want to, and people want to, and I'd be like, no. I just feel really bad, and I would just give in.

53:04🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

53:05🔗 No, I'm not.

53:06🔗 Drew Are you on the pill?

53:07🔗 Yeah, I'm on the pill.

53:08🔗 Drew Have you tried changing pills?

53:10🔗 No. I've been on the same one for about a year.

53:12🔗 Drew Well, that can shut your libido down sometimes.

53:14🔗 See, the weird thing is when we first started going out, it was fine, and I was actually involved with other people, but not had penetration or anything. This was my first boyfriend that I had to be had penetration with, and I was kind of aroused alive and kind of sexually involved, but with my boyfriend now, he's been going out for three and a half years. It's kind of like...

53:35🔗 Drew Well, here's the deal. I've explained to you that it could be the pill. Did you hear me say that?

53:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:40🔗 Drew Okay, so that's one possibility. Yet you keep coming back to, we've been going out for three years, three years, three years.

53:45🔗 Melissa Howard Maybe the relationship is stale.

53:47🔗 Drew Precisely. Why are you still with him?

53:49🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, no.

53:49🔗 Caller I mean, it's great.

53:51🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. Couldn't be better.

53:53🔗 Caller We're totally happy and everything, but there was a time where I was not into having sex.

53:59🔗 Adam All right. I'll pot her down, Drew. We're going to do a little Loveline recreation. I mean, I've enjoyed penetration before, but we've been together for three and a half years and it's just not. What? No, it's great. It's great. No, no, no. We're so happy. It's magic. It's the thing they write songs about. All right. And listen, how old was Antoinette?

54:25🔗 Drew Twenty.

54:25🔗 Adam Yeah. OK. So you're hooked up at 16 and change or 17 and change. You've been together. That's a big, that's a long time, that three and a half years.

54:35🔗 Drew It's very hard to be objective about that. I mean, you can't even imagine me without him, I'm sure.

54:38🔗 Caller We were together when I started, when I was 17. And he was 18. And now we were together. I'm 20, he's 21.

54:47🔗 Adam Well, what do you think it is?

54:49🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, there'll be one day where I don't really want to and it's been, I didn't want to for a month. And then now I'm like, I don't want this relationship to go any bad, go bad. I've got to fix something.

55:02🔗 Drew Well, look, if it's not the pill, we're going to tell you what it is. Go ahead, Melissa.

55:07🔗 Melissa Howard Well, maybe you're just not into him that way anymore. But also, I want to make this point. Like, if you don't feel like it, why feel abnormal about that? You just don't feel like it.

55:16🔗 Adam Yeah, well, she's 20.

55:19🔗 Melissa Howard That doesn't mean she has to be a humping machine.

55:22🔗 Adam No, not a humping machine, but she's got to peel a hump off every once in a while.

55:29🔗 Drew If 20-year-olds that are not aroused after two months, that's not normal. That's something. It's something. Now, they may choose not to have sex. She may be saying, I'm into it, but I'm making a choice not to. She's like, I'm not into it. I am not. Just don't want it. That's not normal.

55:46🔗 Melissa Howard Maybe the sexual attraction of the relationship is just gone.

55:49🔗 Drew But that happens when the emotional piece is not there.

55:52🔗 Caller Well, there are just times when I just don't want to. Like, I don't want to do it today, you know? And it's like, I just don't feel like it today.

55:59🔗 Melissa Howard Is it him, like, looking at him? What is it?

56:02🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, I'm really attracted to him. They're just, they're because I don't really want to have sex.

56:09🔗 Drew Well, if you're not open to considering this relationship, perhaps not quite what you think it is. That emotionally, maybe you're not into it as much as you were. And maybe as you've grown up, it's time for you to explore other horizons, to figure out who you are, to get out of this for a while. If you're not open to that, well, then you're going to stay as you are.

56:26🔗 Caller Well, we're open to having open relationships.

56:28🔗 Drew No, no, not open. Oh, boy. That's the last nail in the coffin right there.

56:33🔗 Adam Hey, Antoinette, were you, anyone ever monkey with you?

56:37🔗 Caller Monkey, I don't know.

56:38🔗 Adam You get raped or sexually abused?

56:41🔗 Caller No.

56:41🔗 Adam No.

56:42🔗 Drew This is the other end of the spectrum.

56:43🔗 Caller I never really, nothing dramatic happened to me. I was, I messed around with like two people in high school.

56:50🔗 Adam Right.

56:51🔗 Drew This is, Adam, this is naive. This is, I don't know why this, maybe we should try an open relationship. Maybe that would add some, come on.

56:58🔗 Adam Yeah. Antoinette, I don't think you're that into this guy.

57:01🔗 Melissa Howard Spread your wings, girl.

57:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:04🔗 Adam Spread something. Well, I mean, listen, what else do you need to know? It's like I'm in perfect health. I'm not on any medications. I was never raped. I'm not going through any post-traumatic stress disorder. I'm with a guy and I don't want to be intimate with him.

57:20🔗 Drew I've been over three and a half years.

57:22🔗 Adam Yeah. What else do you need to know? You're not into the person. They're standing right there in front of you in their underpants and you ain't into them.

57:29🔗 Drew Aria, 17.

57:31🔗 Caller Hello, Dr. Drew.

57:32🔗 How are you doing, Adam? May I just say that, Adam, you're the funniest man on radio today.

57:37🔗 Adam Why, thank you.

57:38🔗 Dr. Drew, when I say you're the whitest man on radio, I mean that in a good way.

57:42🔗 Drew The whitest?

57:44🔗 The whitest, sir.

57:45🔗 Drew Whitest.

57:45🔗 You're so funny in your eloquence and your artifice and the way you speak.

57:50🔗 Drew I'm keeping a reel yet.

57:51🔗 Adam I saw his artifice in an airport in Cincinnati. It was huge.

57:58🔗 That's always good. That's always a good thing. Hi, Melissa.

58:01🔗 Melissa Howard Hi, good. How are you?

58:01🔗 Caller He is grand and beautiful.

58:05🔗 Caller He will hound her. All right. All right. What's up?

58:09🔗 Here's my predicament. Like, ever since, like, I was, like, you know, 13, 14, being attracted to girls like, you know, rest of the gents out there. Like, whenever I had feelings for a girl and I would, like, share her, share it with her, she'd always end up, like, you know, not wanting to speak with me or, like, it'd just be, like, really weird.

58:27🔗 Drew Describe to us one of those incidences. Exactly how it went down. Yeah. Because I think I have an expectation of how it went down.

58:37🔗 Okay. Well, okay.

58:39🔗 Drew Describe a traumatic one.

58:41🔗 Okay. I can give an example of when a girl thought I liked her and, like, you know, that same thing happened. All right. Go ahead. Like, for instance, like, originally, me and, like, two friends were supposed to go see a movie, right? And these two friends are feminine. And then, like, one of them dropped out. And I asked the other one, you know, you still want to go? You know, you don't want to be awkward? She's like, yeah, it's fine. So we went. And, you know, we went. And I would do, like, you know, gentlemanly things, like hold the door open for her and, you know, just to compliment her, like, oh, you have a nice smile, stuff like that, right? And then, like, the next day, she got, like, this idea that, like, I was into her and, like, she didn't want to speak with me. She didn't want to have anything to do with me, like, body language was totally just, like, shutting me down and things like that.

59:24🔗 Melissa Howard How old are you?

59:24🔗 I'm 17.

59:25🔗 Melissa Howard Okay. And you're dating girls that are kind of your age?

59:27🔗 Yeah.

59:28🔗 Melissa Howard Let me tell you a little something about 17, 18, 19, 20-year-olds. We don't want you to like us. If you're too nice, like, really nice guys, finish last. If you start calling her all the time and you're like, oh, your smile is so pretty, oh, you smell so good, or your hair looks nice, that'll work, like, maybe a little bit. If you start being all smothering with it, we don't want that.

59:46🔗 Adam I see. Yeah.

59:48🔗 Melissa Howard It's true. Like, girls really want abusive guys for some. Now, I'm not talking about physically abusive, like, you know, throw them down stairwells, but, you know, they want them to be indifferent.

59:57🔗 Adam Well, they like a light beating. We're not saying we're not allowed. We're talking about an open hand type of beating, not a fist type beating.

1:00:04🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, I like to be hit over the head with a hammer.

1:00:06🔗 Adam Right, right. Damn, bitch. Hold on, Monkey Nipples, hold on a second. Because this is the man talking now. I'm going to step in for a second. See, that's how you get tough with a woman. Okay. You just got excited, didn't you, Melissa?

1:00:20🔗 Melissa Howard Totally.

1:00:21🔗 Adam Pipe down, the man was going to step in and do his talking.

1:00:23🔗 Melissa Howard Totally. You have to be indifferent. You can't call a lot.

1:00:26🔗 Adam Indifferent.

1:00:27🔗 Melissa Howard You do, because then we'll be like, why isn't he calling? We'll sit around with our girlfriends and talk about it.

1:00:32🔗 Adam Oh, you women are so great. I know. I mean, Melissa, Drew, could you imagine? And Drew, we've talked about this before. And we'd laugh our asses off. Imagine if you're a guy and you're really hot for some chick and you think she's hot and you'd love to get in her pants and you just want to be with her. And all of a sudden, she expresses a lot of interest in you and you get turned off. You know what I mean?

1:00:57🔗 Drew Men don't work like that.

1:00:58🔗 Adam I was really into Connie, but then she like kind of invited herself over Friday night to go hot tubbing. And it was like, ooh, get away. God damn, you women are such a pain in the ass. And here's the very sad part of this. And it's the truth. When you are 17 and you're a male, because this is something you learn later on in life, but at 17, you have no control over it. There are two feelings you have. You're either legitimately not into a woman or you're into her. And either way, you have a difficult time disguising it. And when you're legitimately not into them, then all of a sudden they're into you. But when you're into them, you have to suppress that. And you don't have those skills at 17. You're too excited. You're too naive. You can't hold it back. Now, when you get a little bit older and you get a little bit jaded and you get a few relationships under your belt, you get older, you realize, okay, I'm excited. Well, wait a minute. I'm going to keep my poker face and just keep it cool and not screw this one up. Plus, as women get older, they get a little more desperate and they drop all that crap anyway. I don't know what it is. Said they're all the belle of the ball from 15 to 25 and then later on, Father Time comes around and he's the great equalizer. He takes his magic cane and humbles all of them. It's great. So if you can wait long enough, there's a good future for you. But you need to find yourself a woman who's into you and who you're into and who you don't freak on when you're into her.

1:02:32🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:33🔗 Adam Can you do that?

1:02:34🔗 Caller I can try my best, but like, can I ask Melissa a question?

1:02:37🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah.

1:02:38🔗 Caller Why do women feel the need to mess with us so much like that? You know what I'm saying?

1:02:43🔗 Melissa Howard I mean, I don't think it's an intentional like, well, I'm going to get them, but we're weirdos. It's like, I don't want you calling me 24 hours a day. I don't want you complimenting me. Sometimes that grosses us out. I mean, we all have self-esteem issues or something. I don't know what it is, but I can tell you that it's absolutely normal. If you're like, oh, you have a pretty smile, and this, that, and the other, she's going to be like, oh, because the chase is not there.

1:03:09🔗 Adam But you're going to, like, here's what you should do. Like, if you call a girl up on a Monday or a Tuesday, and you ask her out on a date for Friday or Saturday, don't call her in between the date.

1:03:21🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, don't do that.

1:03:22🔗 Adam So you call her up Tuesday night, and you go, hey, Melissa, what's going on Saturday? You want to get together? And Melissa goes, yeah.

1:03:33🔗 Caller Okay.

1:03:34🔗 Caller She sounds really excited.

1:03:35🔗 Adam But you've got quite an acting career ahead of you, baby. You call Melissa, you go, want to go out Saturday?

1:03:42🔗 Melissa Howard And I say, oh, sure.

1:03:43🔗 Adam That's right. And so, what, pick you up about 8 o'clock?

1:03:48🔗 Melissa Howard Right.

1:03:49🔗 Adam That'd be cool. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a buzz Saturday sometime in the afternoon just to kind of pick a time, and I'll talk to you then, okay? Okay, great. Right. Now, don't call her on Thursday and say you were just thinking of her.

1:04:03🔗 Melissa Howard Okay.

1:04:04🔗 Adam Wait till Saturday.

1:04:05🔗 Melissa Howard Around five or six. So that she can worry the whole time, like, oh my God, I can't believe he's not coming. Then she'll freak out, she gets all cured up, and then you impress her by picking you up, like she's impressed with the fact that you even showed up, but that's what you were supposed to do. It's a good trick.

1:04:19🔗 Adam All right. Well, now hold on. Melissa, you're a little bit further, further over the edge than most women. You really are. And most women do like a compliment, but what they don't like is they don't like the guy to feel like he's clingy or needy. Okay. Okay. So you ask around for Saturday, you call, you pick her up on Saturday. When you pick her up, tell her she looks nice, but don't go over the top. Don't sniff her. I made that mistake for one. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. There. Good luck.

1:04:45🔗 Drew Good luck. Happy hunting.

1:04:46🔗 Adam Thank you, man. He'll never get anywhere.

1:04:48🔗 Drew This is Dylan is 22. Dylan?

1:04:50🔗 Caller Yeah. Hi, Dr. Drew.

1:04:51🔗 Drew Hey.

1:04:52🔗 Caller Fantastic. I had one question and that was I was having sex with a girl I didn't really know earlier tonight. Like I just met her actually. And I put it on before I put a condom on.

1:05:06🔗 Drew Hang on. So just a second. Is that the condom custom? Is that common custom out here, Adam?

1:05:13🔗 Adam The C ring? Yeah.

1:05:14🔗 Drew Is that something you do in the first aid?

1:05:16🔗 Adam Well, I like to put the C ring over the condom to sort of help keep it on. I don't put it on first. That's my thing.

1:05:24🔗 Caller Does one have to?

1:05:26🔗 Caller The penis ring is actually a hair tie that you actually you can use as a C ring.

1:05:30🔗 Drew You mean like a ponytail tie?

1:05:32🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:05:33🔗 Melissa Howard Like just an elastic band.

1:05:35🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:05:35🔗 Drew When I'm doing my daughter's hair tomorrow morning, I'm going to have a very strange feeling.

1:05:39🔗 Adam I got one of those things on right now. I snap it each time I want a cigarette.

1:05:43🔗 Drew Just remember. Yeah, right. Not to smoke.

1:05:45🔗 Caller I have to throw it in because it's part of the question.

1:05:47🔗 Drew Did you purchase a lava lamp with that?

1:05:51🔗 Adam It's a little Loveline inside joke there.

1:05:53🔗 Drew All right.

1:05:54🔗 Adam So you put this thing on.

1:05:55🔗 Caller No inside jokes.

1:05:57🔗 Adam And now what? What happened?

1:06:00🔗 Caller Unacceptable.

1:06:01🔗 Caller There we go. The condom broke. And I noticed the condom broke. I was pulling out because I felt like I was at Climax. So I was pulling out and I noticed that the condom broke. And then I stopped immediately and put my pants back on, went in the washroom and like washed. And I'm just wondering, I mean, A, you know, if you're going to be susceptible to something, if the condom breaks, but if the penis down there, or the penis ring, excuse me, would that lessen your chances of contracting something?

1:06:30🔗 Drew No. That doesn't do anything.

1:06:33🔗 Caller It wouldn't at all?

1:06:34🔗 Drew No, nor does getting up and washing yourself off, really. That's not thought to do anything either.

1:06:38🔗 Caller What the hell is that?

1:06:40🔗 Adam It's like...

1:06:41🔗 Drew Very gentlemanly. I'm sure Walter Wally would have behaved just the same manner.

1:06:45🔗 Melissa Howard Did you just say, this happened tonight?

1:06:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:49🔗 Adam Listen, if you got a rubber band around your wrist, and you would dip it in Duke, do you think you have any less chance of getting hepatitis?

1:06:59🔗 Caller Not exactly.

1:07:01🔗 Adam Well, I don't see what the ring... I mean, the fact that you've cut the blood circulation off to your Johnson, that's not going to do anything.

1:07:07🔗 Caller What if it was like, say, something bacterial that like if you put like, you know, hydrogen peroxide or something on it, it would kill it?

1:07:13🔗 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:07:15🔗 Adam What about that? Anything at all?

1:07:17🔗 Drew Nope. Why is that?

1:07:18🔗 Melissa Howard Go to the clinic.

1:07:20🔗 Drew Because it immediately penetrates the mucosa. That's it. It's a contact issue.

1:07:26🔗 Adam Pow.

1:07:26🔗 Drew Contact. That's it.

1:07:27🔗 Adam So it gets under the skin and that's it? Or it gets in the urethra and that's it?

1:07:33🔗 Drew Yep.

1:07:33🔗 Adam It's not a topical thing.

1:07:35🔗 Drew It's not something that sits there and slowly penetrates.

1:07:38🔗 Melissa Howard How did you even think a scrunchie was going to help? A scrunchie. Or whatever.

1:07:42🔗 Adam It's one of our calls.

1:07:44🔗 Caller What it does is it cuts the blood circulation down.

1:07:47🔗 Adam Right.

1:07:48🔗 Drew Well, it decreases the outflow a little bit.

1:07:51🔗 Adam Right.

1:07:52🔗 Caller All right.

1:07:52🔗 Adam So what if the outflows decreased, then the infection couldn't get into your body? What about that, Drew?

1:07:59🔗 Drew First of all, how many of these STDs are sort of breaking into the bloodstream? You know what I mean? They're just doing their thing right there locally, predominantly. Okay. HIV and hepatitis C ain't going to change a thing.

1:08:10🔗 Adam All right. So why not? The blood can't get back into you.

1:08:15🔗 Drew For the moment. It's going back.

1:08:17🔗 Caller It's going back.

1:08:18🔗 Adam All right. What if you do what I do? You dip your Willie in hot tar?

1:08:24🔗 Drew Then you no longer need that big mop when you're doing your roof.

1:08:27🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. The old hot mop. Who are we talking to?

1:08:30🔗 Drew We're talking to our commercial supporters here, aren't we? We're in our OK. We're going to take a break.

1:08:36🔗 Adam That's fantastic radio. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:08:39🔗 Drew Jen wants to know if she's 24. And 24, why can't she get her boyfriend to climax?

1:08:44🔗 Adam Fantastic.

1:08:45🔗 Drew Adam, Adam, wake up. Big guy, wake up.

1:08:48🔗 Adam Hey, shut up, Drew. I want to take some more goddamn calls. How dare you? How dare you roust me? I want to take more calls. You're the one who can't figure it out.

1:08:59🔗 Drew Let's go.

1:09:01🔗 Adam Let's take another call.

1:09:02🔗 Drew Take a break.

1:09:03🔗 Adam Why do we got to take a break?

1:09:05🔗 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Um, back in a minute.

1:09:41🔗 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World, New Orleans. Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock on the Fabulous MTV, the ninth edition.

1:09:54🔗 Caller Could have fooled me.

1:09:56🔗 Adam And they're all taped. They're all in the can. And you don't see them before they air, do you?

1:10:03🔗 Melissa Howard You get them about 24 hours before they air. In that 24-hour period, we have time to move to Siberia, or apologize to our parents.

1:10:10🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:10:11🔗 Adam You really do get them 24 hours?

1:10:13🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, a day before it airs.

1:10:15🔗 Adam Why is that?

1:10:16🔗 Melissa Howard I don't know. It's bad. I don't know. I need it like two months in advance so I can start the apology process, but whatever.

1:10:25🔗 Adam Well, what would they say they give it to you 24 hours in advance for?

1:10:33🔗 Melissa Howard I don't know.

1:10:34🔗 Drew Adam, it's MTV.

1:10:36🔗 Adam I know, but I'm wondering why they give it to you at all. You agree to go on a show, they tape you, you sign away your life, and then they air it.

1:10:43🔗 Drew It's a courtesy that they give it at all. They've elected to give it 24 hours before.

1:10:48🔗 Adam I'm just curious why that policy is in place. What would you do? Does anyone ever have a grievance? Do they say stop the presses?

1:10:56🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, we all have grievances, but you just have to get over it because it's said and done, and it is in stone.

1:11:03🔗 Adam Okay. Well, now I have a very clear answer to my question. I know exactly why they have the 24-hour policy. Now, at first, it didn't make sense.

1:11:11🔗 Drew Jen is 24. Jen?

1:11:13🔗 Hi. Okay. This is my problem. I've been going out with a guy for about nine months now, and we started having sex about four months into the relationship, and slowly the problem developed where he has difficulty climaxing, and sometimes he can't even at all.

1:11:32🔗 Drew So, initially, that wasn't a problem, and then it slowly became a problem.

1:11:36🔗 Yeah, but it happened pretty quickly. It started to happen pretty quickly.

1:11:42🔗 Adam And when you say he can't climax, does his erection go away?

1:11:46🔗 No. He's perfectly fine. Like, he's hard and everything. He just can't climax sometimes, and he'll tell me. He'll be like, you know, sometimes it happens to me, and that's just the way I am. That's what he tells me.

1:11:58🔗 Drew No medication?

1:12:00🔗 Huh?

1:12:00🔗 Drew Medication?

1:12:01🔗 No.

1:12:02🔗 Drew You know for sure?

1:12:04🔗 Do I know for sure?

1:12:05🔗 Drew That he's not on medication.

1:12:07🔗 Yeah.

1:12:09🔗 Adam Drew, you understand you have to rephrase the entire question with our callers. You can't just start tacking things on.

1:12:15🔗 Melissa Howard Does switching condoms work?

1:12:17🔗 Drew Type of condom?

1:12:19🔗 Melissa Howard Maybe it's the condoms.

1:12:20🔗 Drew For some guys, I would think.

1:12:21🔗 Adam They're not using condoms.

1:12:23🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, you don't use condoms at all?

1:12:24🔗 Drew Melissa finds that shocking.

1:12:26🔗 Melissa Howard You've only been dating for nine months and you don't use condoms at all?

1:12:28🔗 No.

1:12:29🔗 Drew Careful, Melissa. Hold back. She's going to have a panic attack here.

1:12:33🔗 Melissa Howard And you're for sure that he's not a drug user?

1:12:35🔗 Pretty sure, yeah.

1:12:36🔗 Melissa Howard You could still get that HPV and then get the cervical cancer.

1:12:40🔗 Caller You should use condoms.

1:12:41🔗 Adam Oh, a meteor could land on you, too.

1:12:44🔗 Drew Well, no, wait a minute. We're all going to get the HPV. That's the way that works.

1:12:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:12:48🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, but she's increasing her risk by not using condoms. I'm a big condom person.

1:12:52🔗 Drew Yes, that's good.

1:12:53🔗 Adam No kidding. What is it with you kids in these condoms?

1:12:56🔗 Melissa Howard It's really important. You could have AIDS. You never know.

1:12:59🔗 Adam All right.

1:12:59🔗 Drew Well, okay. Does he have any medical problems that you're aware of?

1:13:03🔗 Not that I can think of, no.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Is he a heterosexual guy?

1:13:08🔗 Yeah.

1:13:08🔗 Drew For sure.

1:13:09🔗 Adam All right. He's not an IV drug user?

1:13:11🔗 No, he's a very conservative person.

1:13:13🔗 Adam No, okay. He doesn't have AIDS then. I know we all have exactly the same chance of getting AIDS, except for that's not the truth. It helps if you're gay and it helps if you slam heroin. It actually helps quite a bit. Anyway, you need to have a little talk with this guy and make sure he's into the whole relationship. Do you think he's into it?

1:13:37🔗 I do. I'm wondering if this is like a physical problem, or something that might be damaging to him later on down the line. Dr. Drew, do you know anything?

1:13:48🔗 Drew What do you mean? That you're damaging him?

1:13:50🔗 No, no. That this is like a physical... I mean, do men have this problem? Is this normal?

1:13:55🔗 Drew No. That's why I was going down the path of medication and medical issues.

1:13:59🔗 Adam No, but it does happen to a certain amount of guys, and you don't hear about them that often.

1:14:04🔗 Drew That's true.

1:14:05🔗 Adam And certain guys go through certain periods where they have a little difficulty with this, and especially if they had a bad outing the time before, it's liable to happen the next time, because there's a little emotional side of it, too.

1:14:17🔗 Drew Excessive masturbation is another way to get this.

1:14:19🔗 Adam How dare you. And so you might attack my livelihood.

1:14:23🔗 Drew Well, that's true. And that's another way guys get this way.

1:14:25🔗 Adam Well, here's another interesting thing. Let's get to masturbation for a second. Does he masturbate?

1:14:31🔗 Caller I don't know. Like I said, he's really conservative. We don't talk about this kind of thing very much.

1:14:36🔗 Adam Well, maybe he's a little uptight. Maybe he's a little freaked out. Yeah.

1:14:40🔗 Caller Yeah. And you know, I think you're right, because it seems like the more it happens, the more it becomes an issue with us.

1:14:47🔗 Adam Right. Is he a religious guy?

1:14:49🔗 Caller No.

1:14:50🔗 Adam But he's just very conservative.

1:14:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:53🔗 Melissa Howard You should ask him if he masturbates, because if he's masturbating a million, billion times a day, that could really be part of the problem.

1:15:01🔗 Adam Yeah. But let me counter that argument with one of my own, which is, no, listen up though. Guys who whack off four or five times a day, they're used to squeezing one off five minutes after they came last. I mean, sometimes my belly's still wet and I pull another one off. You know what I mean? So I would say it's quite the contrary oftentimes.

1:15:24🔗 Drew Yeah, but they need the real thing though.

1:15:27🔗 Adam This sounds to me more like a guy who's not doing it at all. He's conservative, he's a little uptight. I think he's got to crack a beer or have a bong load, start masturbating a little more, forget about Jesus and just start getting into the sexing. And he's got to find his groove with her because they're not meshing.

1:15:48🔗 Drew Right, I agree with that.

1:15:49🔗 Adam All right, who's next?

1:15:51🔗 Drew All right, this is Becky, 23. Becky?

1:15:53🔗 Caller Hi. Hi Dr. Drew.

1:15:55🔗 Drew Hi Adam.

1:15:56🔗 Adam Hi Becky.

1:15:56🔗 Caller How's it going?

1:15:58🔗 Adam Good.

1:15:58🔗 Caller I'm having a problem and it's that about a year ago I found out that my mom was having an affair.

1:16:05🔗 Drew How did you find that out?

1:16:08🔗 Caller I had intuition. I don't live with my parents. I'm off and on my own and have my own life. But I've noticed that she's withdrawn from family functions and stuff like that. So I basically confronted my aunt, her sister. I said, is this happening? My aunt told me yes.

1:16:32🔗 Drew Did you know who the guy was?

1:16:34🔗 Caller Well, it turns out that...

1:16:37🔗 Adam Poolman?

1:16:38🔗 Drew Not a guy.

1:16:39🔗 Caller Oh, no, no, no. It's nothing like that.

1:16:43🔗 Adam Becky, are you holding back tears right now?

1:16:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:47🔗 Adam All right. I don't want you to hold them back. It's good radio if you can cry.

1:16:50🔗 Caller Thanks, Adam.

1:16:51🔗 Adam So just let it all hang out, baby.

1:16:54🔗 Caller It turns out that last year, actually before I even knew about it, that I went up to visit and we went out to lunch and supposedly we bumped in to one of her friends and, oh, come join us. We're having lunch and it turned out to be him.

1:17:12🔗 Drew Who is this guy?

1:17:17🔗 Caller Someone she works with.

1:17:18🔗 Drew Nobody, no friend of the family or anything like that?

1:17:20🔗 Caller No, no, no.

1:17:21🔗 Adam Now, why is this so overwhelming for you? And I don't mean that in a condescending way. I mean, not that you should be happy about it.

1:17:28🔗 Drew What does it mean to you?

1:17:28🔗 Adam You're an adult woman and you're very, very emotional about it.

1:17:32🔗 Caller Yeah. I would say it's because my dad has absolutely no clue.

1:17:40🔗 Adam Does he have a radio?

1:17:41🔗 Caller Huh? No, are you kidding? They wouldn't be listening to that.

1:17:45🔗 Adam Yeah, he's a little out of our demo.

1:17:47🔗 Drew Adam, he wouldn't be listening to this crap.

1:17:48🔗 Adam Probably Drew's age, huh?

1:17:50🔗 Melissa Howard Were your mom and dad having problems in their relationship?

1:17:53🔗 Caller You know what? They don't really connect as much. And honestly, I think my dad's a little clueless on how to relate to my mom.

1:18:03🔗 Drew Has it always been that way?

1:18:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I'd say so.

1:18:08🔗 Adam So now, what is your dilemma? Do you feel like you should tell your dad?

1:18:11🔗 Caller Well, my dilemma is that I'm the youngest and I'm pretty much bearing this all on my shoulders.

1:18:19🔗 Drew Why don't you talk to some of your siblings about it?

1:18:21🔗 Caller Because I know that they will confront my mom about it.

1:18:25🔗 Drew Well, that's up to them. You need some support.

1:18:29🔗 Adam Now, does your mom know that you know?

1:18:31🔗 Caller No, I've talked to my best friends and stuff like that. And they're great support and everything, but I just don't feel like, I feel torn on what I should do because I'm torn between, you know, this is not really my life.

1:18:45🔗 Drew Right.

1:18:45🔗 Caller You know, this is, I'm out of the, I'm grown up. Again, I have my own life.

1:18:50🔗 Drew We're a little unclear though why it's so upsetting to you. Is it because you feel bad for how your dad is going to feel when he finds out?

1:18:56🔗 Caller Yeah, definitely.

1:18:57🔗 Drew That's the thing.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Because when you're in a marriage, you share everything.

1:19:01🔗 Drew All right. So that's the issue.

1:19:04🔗 Adam Listen, Drew doesn't tell his wife half the stuff that goes with it.

1:19:08🔗 Caller I'm maybe a little naive on that part. But this is, you know, you come home and you spill things to this other person. And then for that other person, just to like, have this.

1:19:18🔗 Adam All right. Well, hold on. Now, slow down there, Becky. Did you say that you talked about this with your mom or just your aunt?

1:19:24🔗 Caller No, no.

1:19:25🔗 Adam Just your aunt.

1:19:26🔗 Caller They don't know.

1:19:27🔗 Drew If you want to give this an opportunity to begin healing, then you've got to confront her about it a little bit.

1:19:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Why don't you start with your mom?

1:19:34🔗 Drew Yeah. But I would use one of your siblings. I would get some support from the sibling before I went into battle.

1:19:40🔗 Adam Well, really? Really?

1:19:41🔗 Drew Why should she have to bear this by herself? If the reason she doesn't want to tell her sibling is that because they might confront her, and if she's going to confront her anyway, she might as well take a sibling with her.

1:19:50🔗 Caller And the other thing is like, I know she's going to be upset at, she'll be upset with my aunt for even telling me this.

1:20:00🔗 Drew Well, you don't have to cop to that.

1:20:01🔗 Adam Well, you're going to have to. How the hell is she going to find out? Well, she goes right to the aunt. Come on, Drew, please. We're living in the real world here.

1:20:10🔗 Caller That's right.

1:20:12🔗 Adam Tuesday nights, everyone. 10 o'clock MTV. No, okay. Listen, Becky, this is the voice of reason speaking. As far as your aunt goes, you say to your mom, no, leave her out of this. I went to her and I told her I know something is going on and basically came to her with the information. It's not like she came to you with the information. Exactly. She basically confirmed what you already knew. That's number one. Number two, this whole get the posse of brothers and sisters going, I don't know, I got a sister, I have beefs with my parents, I never call her over. I just go talk to my parents.

1:20:47🔗 Drew Yeah, but Becky doesn't come from quite so...

1:20:50🔗 Adam Yeah, I know.

1:20:51🔗 Drew It's a fraction of family.

1:20:52🔗 Adam The family's not as screwed up as mine. I don't want my sister, I don't want her stealing any of my thunder. I could get on a roll. I don't need the voice of reason chiming in when I'm yelling at my dad or my mom.

1:21:03🔗 Drew It's more that you don't want a sense of reality coming to bear. You want it all to be your parents' fault.

1:21:08🔗 Adam That's right. I'm good and drunk and I don't want anyone screwing with my buzz. Becky needs to just go confront her. Just go talk to mom and tell mom, hey, either she knocks it off or she's going to tell dad. That's it.

1:21:23🔗 Drew And that mom and dad need to go get some therapy going here.

1:21:27🔗 Adam I don't think dad should ever find out.

1:21:28🔗 Drew But still they can see a therapist. Anthony, 18. Yes. What's going on?

1:21:35🔗 Caller Yeah, I've been out to go for about a month. And I've noticed some signs like that. She, I think she's still with her ex. I remember like one time I called over to her house and he was there. And she said that him and his mom were like good friends. I was like, wonder what you think.

1:21:50🔗 Drew That's the one, that's the only piece of evidence you have?

1:21:52🔗 Caller Well, no, there were some other things like, today we went to the county fair.

1:21:57🔗 Caller And there was a picture in her friend's car in the dash. And she said that was like, you know, he was still sitting there. I asked, you know, what was he doing there? And she said, oh, that's just an old picture. And I was like, well, what is he still doing there? And she's like, I don't know.

1:22:08🔗 Adam A picture of him.

1:22:10🔗 Caller Her and her ex.

1:22:12🔗 Adam In her friend's car?

1:22:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:15🔗 Drew How long was she with the guy?

1:22:17🔗 Caller I don't know, I think seven months.

1:22:19🔗 Drew How long was she with you?

1:22:20🔗 Caller About a month now.

1:22:21🔗 Adam Who dumped who in that last relationship?

1:22:23🔗 Caller She dumped him.

1:22:25🔗 Adam You sure?

1:22:30🔗 Drew That's where the key will be. He's dating her a few weeks. She's still wrapped up with this old guy.

1:22:34🔗 Caller That's what I figured.

1:22:35🔗 Caller I figured that she wasn't quite ready to leave him.

1:22:38🔗 Drew How long ago does they break up?

1:22:40🔗 Caller It was real quick.

1:22:41🔗 Caller She was off of him and on to me.

1:22:43🔗 Drew No, come on.

1:22:45🔗 Caller It was within a few days.

1:22:47🔗 Adam Is she having, are you guys having sex?

1:22:49🔗 Caller No. We've been intimate and everything, but no sex.

1:22:53🔗 Drew No. She's just passing time, Anthony.

1:22:56🔗 Adam Now, let me, hold on. Let's not be so cruel to young Anthony.

1:22:58🔗 Melissa Howard I'm sure there are a bunch of pretty girls at the county fair that you can hook up with.

1:23:02🔗 Adam Yeah. What about some of those hog-calling chicks? You know, the su-wee.

1:23:07🔗 Melissa Howard The good yodeler.

1:23:08🔗 Caller No, that's all right.

1:23:09🔗 Melissa Howard The cotton candy lady.

1:23:10🔗 Adam No, no, no.

1:23:11🔗 Caller Listen, hold on.

1:23:11🔗 Caller Is that enough to be around them hicks all the time?

1:23:13🔗 Adam Anthony, I'm trying to get to the bottom of this one.

1:23:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:17🔗 Adam Did she break up with him because he cheated or broke her heart or did something horrible to her?

1:23:23🔗 Caller She said that she broke at him because I didn't... He didn't treat her like I did, you know? He was like always kind of...

1:23:30🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:23:30🔗 Caller I don't want to say mean to her, but, you know, he was like he just... He didn't treat her like she should be treated.

1:23:33🔗 Drew Did you hear what Melissa said?

1:23:34🔗 Melissa Howard How old are you again?

1:23:35🔗 Drew 18.

1:23:36🔗 Melissa Howard Okay. She wants the abusive one. You have to go get a new girl.

1:23:39🔗 Drew Melissa just finished lecturing everyone about that.

1:23:43🔗 Adam All right. Well, I say give her a chance. I mean, he doesn't have anything conclusive yet. The friend had an old picture in her dash. It was the friend's car.

1:23:51🔗 Drew She was only a few... She was days off of this relationship. She wasn't even... She hasn't ended the other one yet. It takes months to get over that.

1:23:59🔗 Adam Okay. But she dumped him. And I don't... All I'm saying is, is I don't think the picture in the dash is much evidence.

1:24:07🔗 Drew Right. Well, because that's the point. She's still, as far as everyone else is concerned, no one else even understood that they've broken up yet.

1:24:13🔗 Adam Right. What the hell's her friend driving around with a picture of those? A prom picture in her dash. Hey, Drew, remember that phase when you'd strap a bunch of stuff to your car? You know, hang your graduation tassel off your rear view.

1:24:27🔗 Drew I never did that.

1:24:27🔗 Adam Did you always have junk lying around in your car?

1:24:29🔗 Drew I never did that.

1:24:30🔗 Adam No, but when you're younger, you treat your car like it's a goddamn scrapbook or something. You got stuff in there.

1:24:36🔗 Drew Yeah, mine's still a briefcase.

1:24:38🔗 Adam Well, that's true. Yeah, mine's more like a hamper.

1:24:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:43🔗 Melissa Howard Did that guy say you were the widest guy he ever met?

1:24:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:47🔗 Melissa Howard He said a briefcase.

1:24:49🔗 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break?

1:24:50🔗 Drew We are indeed.

1:24:51🔗 Adam Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:24:54🔗 Drew Oh, why don't we talk to somebody who has circumcision questions? Sean.

1:24:58🔗 Adam You really know how to sell it, Drew. We'll take a little break. We're here with Melissa Howard from MTV's Real World. Tuesday nights, 10 o'clock. We'll talk circumcision after this.

1:25:08🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

1:25:43🔗 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Melissa Howard is our guest tonight. She's from The Real World. Ten o'clock, Tuesday nights on MTV. And Drew, guess where I'm staying while I'm out here in New York?

1:25:56🔗 Drew Regal Royal.

1:25:58🔗 Adam That's right.

1:25:59🔗 Drew How did I guess that?

1:26:00🔗 Adam Oh, man. And let me tell you something about Royal. You know what that Royal stands for? Royal Flush, baby.

1:26:06🔗 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:26:07🔗 Adam That is right. I came home to my throne in New York. I was on that pot two hours ago. My ass felt like a warm bagel on that thing. The Regal Royal, if any of you folks get a chance to get out to New York, you state that Regal Royal.

1:26:24🔗 Drew Well, tell them why.

1:26:25🔗 Adam Because they have toilet seats that are hot. Hot like a hot towel a small Japanese woman would hand you if you were sitting in first class.

1:26:35🔗 Drew That's just part of it. That's just part of it.

1:26:36🔗 Adam That's just part of it. Then comes the jet of water right up the tokeye. And I just sat there. I never enjoyed myself on the pot as much as I do at the Regal Royal. And for you ladies, I got the front shot too. You know, when I get back to the hotel tonight, I may try that front shot just to see what happens.

1:26:57🔗 Melissa Howard Why would you want a warm seat?

1:26:59🔗 Adam Oh, kind of gross.

1:27:02🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, I don't like sitting on a seat after someone has and it's all warm.

1:27:06🔗 Adam Yeah, well, listen, you got some fat chick on there with syphilis and she's warmed it for you. Or you have heating coils in there. I mean, right?

1:27:17🔗 Melissa Howard I guess.

1:27:18🔗 Adam Yeah, no, it's wonderful.

1:27:21🔗 Drew Melissa's a little sensitive to body function issues, you see.

1:27:24🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, I don't.

1:27:25🔗 Adam Well, if you're sensitive to body function issues, you should like the warm water of a jet of water going in your ass. Do you enjoy that?

1:27:35🔗 Melissa Howard No.

1:27:36🔗 Adam You don't?

1:27:37🔗 Melissa Howard No, I'm very sensitive with the whole butt area.

1:27:40🔗 Adam Yeah, but don't you?

1:27:41🔗 Melissa Howard I don't want water shooting in when you're there.

1:27:44🔗 Adam You don't want to be clean?

1:27:46🔗 Melissa Howard No, I do. I love being clean, but.

1:27:48🔗 Adam So, all right.

1:27:48🔗 Melissa Howard I'm not with this new fangled technology of having all these things shoot around. Just, you know, wipe your butt.

1:27:55🔗 Drew She doesn't have the same.

1:27:55🔗 Adam So, you like to walk around with just a little Duke residue on there for the rest of the day? Just to kind of keep it real?

1:28:02🔗 Drew She doesn't have the same enchanted forest issue that you do.

1:28:04🔗 Melissa Howard Oh, stop it with the keep it real.

1:28:08🔗 Adam Yeah. I told Drew wiping my ass is like trying to get peanut butter out of a shag carpet. It ain't going to work with just one wipe. You got to get down there with a brush and some nice hot water. I'm going right back to that toilet. I may sleep on that toilet tonight, Drew, all hour and a half. I sleep the night is going to be right on that Regal Royal toilet. I love that place. One other little piece of business I want to attend to phone screener Danielle. It is her last night.

1:28:39🔗 Drew It's her swan song.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:40🔗 Drew We gave her a cake. You missed that. Another cake tonight.

1:28:44🔗 Adam Was it a cookie the size of a hubcap?

1:28:47🔗 Drew No, this time it was a carrot cake.

1:28:48🔗 Adam Oh, now that's good cake. And good cake for a good woman. This Danielle is a gem.

1:28:54🔗 Drew Yes. She's smiling right now.

1:28:56🔗 Adam She has done a wonderful job the entire time she's been with us. Always a smile on her face. Great phone screening. Great with everything.

1:29:05🔗 Drew Hard working. Yeah.

1:29:06🔗 Adam Oh, I am going to miss her. I really am.

1:29:10🔗 Drew Oh, here she comes. She's coming to say something back to you.

1:29:12🔗 Adam Danielle, get on that microphone, Danielle.

1:29:15🔗 Caller I'm going to miss you guys too.

1:29:16🔗 Adam Is that you, baby?

1:29:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:17🔗 Caller That's me.

1:29:18🔗 Adam Oh, my little Jewish princess. I'm going to miss you so much.

1:29:21🔗 Drew Shari. Shari.

1:29:23🔗 Adam Shari.

1:29:24🔗 Caller I'll still come in and visit you guys.

1:29:25🔗 Adam Danielle?

1:29:26🔗 Drew She's coming to visit. You can't hear her?

1:29:28🔗 Adam What? Is she walking out to New York? No, I can't hear her.

1:29:30🔗 Drew He's not hearing her.

1:29:31🔗 Caller I'll come to visit you.

1:29:33🔗 Adam There she is. Oh, baby. I really think we could have had something.

1:29:38🔗 Caller No, I don't think all that's going to happen.

1:29:40🔗 Adam Am I pushing too far? She was really an angel and I'm really going to miss her. Please come back to the studio and visit us and don't freak on me when I run into you drunk at the K-Rock Acoustic Christmas and can't remember your name.

1:29:58🔗 Caller I'll be pissed.

1:29:59🔗 Adam I know you will. I'll write it on my wrist before the concert. Drew, you know that happens though. It's not that you don't know the person's name. It's just they hit you.

1:30:09🔗 Drew It's out of context.

1:30:11🔗 Adam Right. All right. I'm going to miss that.

1:30:13🔗 Drew You'll never forget me.

1:30:15🔗 Adam No, I will never ever forget you as long as I live. I'm going to think about you when I'm on that heated toilet seat tonight. What do you say?

1:30:26🔗 Drew She's so moved by the things you say to her, the poetic language.

1:30:31🔗 Adam I know. I know. She's such a softie. I'm going to give a little front squirt for you tonight, Daniel.

1:30:37🔗 Caller Be still, my heart.

1:30:40🔗 Adam All right. Who are we going to talk to, Drew?

1:30:42🔗 Drew This is Sean. He's 17. Sean?

1:30:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:45🔗 Drew Hey, what's going on?

1:30:46🔗 Caller Hey, what's up? Yeah. You know, like, I guess, like, when I was, like, in my mom's stomach or whatever, right, she had gallstones. And, like, I guess, like, I don't know, something happened, whatever, whatever. And, like, she said that...

1:31:00🔗 Adam Sean, are you pre-mad, buddy?

1:31:01🔗 Melissa Howard He said in her stomach.

1:31:04🔗 Caller She said that, like, when I came out, I guess my...

1:31:06🔗 Adam He meant guy...

1:31:07🔗 Caller .G.P. hole was crooked or whatever. I guess they couldn't circumcise me or whatever. And I guess, I don't know. And, like, I remember, like, not too long ago, someone was telling me I can get cancer, if, like, it's not cleaned very well or something.

1:31:18🔗 Drew Eh, not really.

1:31:20🔗 Caller No.

1:31:20🔗 Drew Listen, around the world, most men are not circumcised.

1:31:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:23🔗 Drew Right? Just this country where they get the circumcised.

1:31:25🔗 Adam And look how crappy all those other countries are.

1:31:27🔗 Caller And, like, so, like, I can get it circumcised, like, while I'm older, right?

1:31:31🔗 Drew Sure. It's a lot more painful, but you can sure do it.

1:31:34🔗 Caller Like, how much more painful?

1:31:35🔗 Drew A lot.

1:31:36🔗 Caller Oh, jeez.

1:31:37🔗 Melissa Howard Like, your whole thigh area will be bruised. Whoa.

1:31:41🔗 Adam Drew, is it more painful, or do you just, do you not remember things that happen to you when you're a month old?

1:31:45🔗 Drew No, it's more painful.

1:31:46🔗 Adam Why? How do you know?

1:31:48🔗 Drew Just more traumatizing. Look, tonsils are easier when you're under 10. It's awful when you're over 20.

1:31:53🔗 Adam I mean, awful. Is it that your nervous system is more developed as you get older?

1:31:58🔗 Drew I think the amount of tissue trauma, I mean, just a lot more stuff gets affected.

1:32:02🔗 Adam Well, listen, just keep your junk clean. Don't worry about your mom and her gut and her gallstones and all that stuff. All right. Who's next?

1:32:11🔗 Drew Hang on a second. Let's see. Let's talk to Dave's 27. Dave?

1:32:15🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:32:16🔗 Drew Hey, Dave.

1:32:16🔗 Caller Good to be on the show. Often you guys talk about the stench of desperation. I'm 27 and I've-

1:32:27🔗 Drew I'm breaking.

1:32:29🔗 Caller Say that again?

1:32:29🔗 Drew Nothing.

1:32:31🔗 Caller I've never had a girlfriend or a long relationship more than like two weeks.

1:32:36🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:36🔗 Caller So I know that I need to somehow get rid of that, but is there any way of just covering it up?

1:32:42🔗 Adam No. Women, they're like those dogs at the airport. They sniff everything right out. You could pack yourself in coffee grounds. They'd smell that desperation coming right through your clothing.

1:32:54🔗 Melissa Howard Is it you that can't commit? What do you mean?

1:32:56🔗 Caller What do you mean get rid of that? I know it's me, but I don't want to say that it's me. It's just that for some reason, women just lose interest in me after a couple of dates.

1:33:09🔗 Adam Okay. Here's the deal, Dave. I'm sorry for you, but not really. Because we only got a few seconds left. I'm going to tell you what to do. I'm sure you'll agree with me on this one, Melissa. Dave, you need to get into your own ass. Get real good at something. Get real successful at something. Focus on your own life. Working out, your job, your spirituality, whatever it is. Music, your hobbies, your life. Get into you. And don't try to convince other people to like you. Just get into your own thing. And when women see you doing your own thing and being real successful at it, they'll magically be drawn to you. And then you'll have a lot more confidence when they come around.

1:33:47🔗 Drew Good advice. Now you get good at your job. And let's go to commercial.

1:33:50🔗 Adam All right. We'll be back after this.

1:33:53🔗 Hello. This is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:34:31🔗 Drew Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam unfortunately has, he really could not wait to get back to that pot, the Riga-Royal. Yeah, he was just on his way. The guy just absolutely skittled out of that studio and just told me to close it up myself. But Melissa Howard from Real World, thank you very much for joining us.

1:34:47🔗 Melissa Howard Thank you.

1:34:48🔗 Drew People can see you on tour.

1:34:50🔗 Melissa Howard Yeah, college tours. I might be at your university, you never know.

1:34:54🔗 Drew Anything else they can check you out on?

1:34:58🔗 Melissa Howard princessmelissa.com, which is, we're working on it. Real World, and that's all I know of so far. And shopping on Melrose maybe.

1:35:07🔗 Drew Well, thank you for coming in and sharing with us. And Danielle, God bless you for a great run with us. This show, we say goodbye to a lot of people, don't we? It's so sad. But this is one of the saddest. But we'll see more of you as we go along here. We will not lose track of you. We just won't remember your name but at the Acoustic Christmas, that's all.

1:35:25🔗 Caller How about that?

1:35:25🔗 Drew We're stuck. That's right. So this is Drew on behalf of Adam, who has planted himself on his automated water shooting toilet on his behalf. And as homage to him, as Dr. Drew is saying, mahalo.

1:35:42🔗 Caller Goodbye.

1:35:44🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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