3:56🔗AdamI'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. He's feeling frisky tonight, everybody. He's wearing his Amherst sweatshirt, and he's let his hair down.
4:05🔗VoiceoverPhone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew, Board Certified Physician and your Addiction Medicine Specialist, kiddies. All right, MxPx is our guest tonight. They are currently getting drunk at a Thai restaurant. We'll be rolling in here at their leisure, which should be just about any minute now. Gina Lee Nolan will be in here tomorrow night. Gina Lee is just a spectacular looking woman.
4:43🔗AdamI don't know what else to say. Gives a mean hand job. Now you know her work. She's so good looking, she's too good looking. Looks like a Barbie doll. Some people look like their heads were sculpted. Spent a lot of time on them. What's that motivational speaker? Tom Robbins? Tony Robbins? Doesn't he look like he's claymated? Gigantism claymated guy. You gotta breathe, you gotta get up out of the bed and you have to live. Or Tom Vu?
5:26🔗DrewYou're gonna go through all your imitations tonight?
5:28🔗AdamWell, Tom Vu is no different than Minka if you listen to the show.
5:31🔗DrewI understand. That's why I figured Minka was coming next.
5:34🔗AdamYou know how I make millions of dollars in real estate market? I work hard. I'm not soft like you. I'm no pussy like you. I'm no scared. You see this Ferrari? That's my toy. You see the scareboat with cocors on it? That's my toy. You want toys? You use Tom Vu method. See this picture? That picture of me with eight hundred Vietnamese brothers and sisters. We come over on life raft. I wash dish. Now look at me. You see that helicopter? You see that scareboat? You see that Ferrari? Dem's my toys. Eric, I think the guy got thrown off the air. I think they used a Rico act against him or something. Eric?
6:48🔗MXPXOkay. I'm married. Married pretty young. And since recently, what, two years or whatnot, I've been watching a whole lot of porn. I mean, too much of it. When my wife's at work, it's like all I can think of, you know? I was wondering, is that normal?
7:42🔗AdamWell, your Johnson's in your hand. You think everything's wonderful, but then it happens and you feel like you've wasted your life because you spend an hour and 45 minutes sitting on the sofa spanking it.
8:02🔗AdamOkay. So here's what you need to do. Knock off all the foreplay with yourself. Fast forward. Don't even fast forward. Just have all the movies queued up to your sweet spot.
8:13🔗MXPXSee, here's the thing. I'm not watching movies. It's all online. You know, my wife is totally against, you know, anything.
8:22🔗AdamSee, okay. This is okay. This is the problem. See, I've had this problem before. People think I'm nuts. But if I rent a porn movie, if there's a porn movie I haven't seen before, I have to fast forward through the entire movie to make sure I'm not missing anything before I then backtrack and get to the good part.
8:50🔗AdamThey watch the movie in sort of real time, and if they see something they like, they just add it and then they'll go back and put it in and see what else is on there. Me, every time semen comes out of my penis, I feel like this could be the last time. You understand? That's why I make a great softball player, because every time I get up to the plate, I think this could be the last swing I take. I focus. You know what I'm saying? So I fast forward all the way through because I always think there's going to be some chick I went to high school with who's banging a couple of black dwarfs at the end that I'm going to miss, and that semen, I'll never get it back again. There may be new semen, but not that semen. You see what I'm saying?
9:29🔗AdamSo I'll watch the whole thing. Now the thing about the inner, now I'll watch a movie though, I know what's on it, I'll go right to the good stuff.
9:49🔗AdamHere's the deal. You set yourself like a 10-minute egg timer and that's as long as you got to whack off. And you do it. I mean, start watching at 1130 when your old lady goes to work or whatever. But by noon, you're done. And the only way you're going to be done is if something comes out of your penis before noon.
10:09🔗DrewAnd start exercising or find another hobby or something. How's the relationship going?
10:13🔗MXPXI mean, I put on, you know, I guess everything's fine, you know.
10:32🔗MXPXWell, you know, it pays more. What are you doing? I do repair work for a telephone company.
10:38🔗AdamAnd you're out just working on those switcher boxes or something?
10:43🔗MXPXWell, it's all remotely now. So I'm in office doing it. All right.
10:47🔗AdamThe point is, is you have one half hour from the time your hand touches your Johnson to the time you're going for the paper towels. OK, that's it. Now you're done by noon and you have the whole day ahead of you.
10:59🔗DrewAnd then if you're going to be able to sort of continue this plan, you have to take better care of yourself. Thank you.
11:26🔗AdamWhich means, well, it means you would have been in great shape the other night when Drew was in this booth if you were in here with me because that was a bad night.
11:44🔗DrewIt's not as good. The tongue's still functional. Who knows? It's sweet and sour and.
11:48🔗AdamIs it like what? I mean, and I know Derek, you have nothing to compare it to. But Drew, would it be like you getting a head cold and eating something?
13:12🔗AdamLet me tell you something, though, Derek. Those things, all they're good for is a place for your buddies to put their boot when they get mad at you. Women don't like nuts.
13:40🔗AdamNice. All right. You can't get girls pregnant. You don't have the nuts working as a counterweight when you're trying to have sex. They're not slowing you down. You can go on long bike rides.
13:50🔗DrewIs the girl got bad breath? He doesn't smell?
13:52🔗AdamNo one's kicking you in them. You could go down on even the worst woman for days with no side effects.
13:58🔗MXPXNo side effects. I have some acne. I was wondering if that was from the testosterone.
14:15🔗AdamWell, come on. The guy feels weird in the shower and all that kind of stuff. What about putting something in there?
14:22🔗DrewThey use acrylic now, don't they? What do they use?
14:25🔗AdamI don't know. Here's the deal though. If they put something in there over time, will it start stretching out? Does he have extra skin down there?
14:34🔗MXPXThey said that it will stretch a little bit.
14:38🔗AdamAll right. That sounds relatively easy. All they have to do is cut the skin and put them in there, right?
14:44🔗MXPXAre they going to look real? Are they going to feel real? Are they going to move?
14:47🔗DrewIt's going to be a little different. Are they going to migrate? They could, but look, you're ahead of the game, not behind your head.
14:56🔗AdamWell, listen, the guy's got no nuts, Drew. How good do you want to make him feel? I mean, he's only buying so much of this crap.
15:03🔗DrewWhat is the ugliest part of the male anatomy?
15:04🔗AdamThe scrotum is the ugliest part of the male anatomy.
15:07🔗DrewRight, the male without a scrotum hanging down. I know, but... So if he even approaches normal anatomic proportions, he'll still be ahead of the game, because he won't have all the hang and all the other stuff.
15:20🔗MXPXIf I do the implants, I'm ahead of the game.
15:22🔗AdamYeah. All right, so get the implants. And over time, they'll take shape. You'll be fine. Come on, Derek, cheer up, buddy. Look at it this way. If you had this thing 100 years ago, you'd be in the ground.
15:46🔗AdamTaste with no smell. It really sounds like... It just sounds like he's eliminated all the middle men in the human anatomy. That's like a guy complaining that he's born with no... What do you need? What don't you need? A gallbladder?
16:43🔗CallerAnyway, I got a question for you. I'm friends with a 17-year-old girl and, you know, I know it legally it's not okay, but I'd like to ask her out, but I'm just, I'd like to, you know, but I'm just not sure I should.
17:40🔗CallerNo, I mean, I like to think there is, but then I think logically, like I'm just probably trying to look for something that isn't there.
17:47🔗AdamYeah, hold on a second, Joe. I just came to the new daytime show. I'd like to start. It's called Bubble Busters. Here's what happened. I go, today, our guess is Brian. He's wanting to ask Connie for her hand in marriage since he've known her from the fifth grade. They're both 22 now. Connie's waiting backstage. Then what happens is, if Brian comes out and I convince him that he's too ugly, poor, and stupid to ask anyone to marry him, and he leaves crying.
18:15🔗DrewCommence her, that's what he is. Right. She leaves screaming.
18:18🔗AdamRight. Tune in next week when I talk someone out of a career in medicine. Yeah, or someone wants to be, maybe we devote a whole week to me discouraging fifth graders who want to be astronauts, and the president, and attorneys, and things like that.
18:39🔗AdamWhy it's never going to work. Are you kidding me? You'll be lucky to graduate junior college tomorrow. Get out of here. All right, you can tell that Joe is desperate.
18:50🔗AdamAnd Joe has one woman who he's having contact with. And listen to me women, when a guy doesn't get a whole lot of dates, and you're the one woman who will talk to him and sort of tolerate him, all of that energy, all of that dating he didn't do in high school, all of those lonely nights, it all gets focused and channeled into you, and you become the hope for this guy. Guys do this. Joe? You didn't do a lot of dating in high school, right?
19:53🔗AdamYou need to flat out ask her out. And don't make any bones about it. You know, don't do that lunch thing with eight people, that coffee thing with the soccer team. Just ask her out on a Friday night. But promise me that if she doesn't want to go, even if she gives you an excuse about what she's doing this weekend and how her grandmother's coming in town or whatever her excuse is, you don't ask her out again. Give her a chance. Ask her out. Make sure it's in no uncertain terms.
20:21🔗DrewShould we do play acting so Ann can display? Right.
20:25🔗AdamLet me give you the difference between someone who wants to go out with you and someone who doesn't want to go out with you. And there are subtle differences. And they're almost... If you're not listening with both ears, you won't be able to interpret it.
20:50🔗AdamThat role ain't too big a stretch for Ann, by the way. The don't want to go out with you role. Here's the deal, Ann. I want you to give me... Now here's what I think is important for Joe to hear. I want you to give me the, I can't go out with you this weekend. I'm giving you an excuse and I don't ever want to go out with you. And I want you to give me the, you're really doing something Friday night. You really can't go out with him Friday night, but you're really happy he asked you out and you want to make sure that he asks you out again.
21:23🔗AdamThere's once in a while, and guys got to know the difference between this. All right, we'll start with the, you're really not interested one.
22:04🔗CallerYou know, the theater, sit next to all those people.
22:07🔗AdamRight. Germs. It's crowded. Yeah. Just get something on your foot. Yeah. Well, I don't have to go to a movie. I might head out this week and grab a bite or something like that. It's cars. Something.
22:17🔗You know, I'm on a diet. I'm planning on eating this weekend.
22:28🔗AdamAll right. Okay. That's the ain't going out this weekend and ain't going out ever.
22:34🔗DrewI think most people would not have the way of us to end. When Anne was a little firmer at the end there, when it's maybe some other time, most people would go, yeah, yes. Let's just conclude this conversation.
22:49🔗DrewThey'll go, yeah, yeah, some other time. I can't wait. Yeah, I'll absolutely call me. Which is wrong.
22:53🔗MXPXGirls need to, because he will come back.
22:55🔗DrewThey always do that and then they don't answer their calls. That's the follow-up to that.
22:59🔗AdamBut you guys, everyone, you know how it is. You want to get out of there. It's like whatever, whether you're quitting a job or not going out with someone, or firing somebody, or whatever it is, it's always uncomfortable and what you try to do is lessen the pain by not laying it all out. You give it to them in doses. Now, you've just bought yourself another week and by the time he calls next week and you tell him no, he'll have gotten the message theoretically. Drew wouldn't have, but theoretically Joe would have. Okay, now here's the excuse, but I'm really interested, guy, but something really is going on this weekend. Hey, what the hell was her name? Sharon. Hey, Sharon, this is Virgin Joe. Hi, Joe. Hey.
24:07🔗DrewIt also would be whatever you want to do. It would be the follow up from her. Right. Whatever you're doing. I'm glad to join you.
24:13🔗AdamRight. Everyone just close your eyes and picture stuff you want to do and stuff you don't want to do and how you react to that. That's what you'll get. Thank you, Ann. The role of Sarah the Girlfriend was played by Ann, the producer. Joe. All right. Now, did you learn anything from that?
24:32🔗CallerAlthough, thank you for that. One thing I would say though is that it's like that second one. But also one thing you have to understand about me is that I'm very, like you said, not a lot of dates. So, you know, if a girl wants something, I'll give it to her. So I get, I think she's kind of taking on that. So she goes, hey, you want to do something tonight? I go, yeah, yeah. You know, let's go. And I'm just wondering if that, if that means she's...
25:34🔗AdamAll right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. MxPx has just entered the building. We'll chat with them when we come back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. MXPX has just entered the building. Mike, Tom, and Yuri are all in here. The ever-passing moment is the name of the new CD. We'll hear something off of that very, very shortly. And welcome back to the show, guys.
27:00🔗AdamYes. Well, good. Well, you guys are good guys, and we're glad to have you back. MxPx is going to be in San Francisco on the 28th. That's coming up this Thursday, and then Sacramento, the 29th, and then Salt Lake City, and then after that, you're going to have to go to Europe to find them. You guys have done European tours, right?
27:18🔗CallerYeah, I've done a couple of them already.
27:21🔗AdamI asked this to all the bands that come out here, and maybe it's insulting, but I can't figure out whether everyone knows who you are in Europe, or you're going over there as a good American rock band, and you're going to turn them on to you, or like the first time you went to Europe. Were you playing shows where you had all MxPx fans in the audience?
27:53🔗CallerBut then by the end of the show, by the time we were done playing, it was like a little more people were into it.
27:58🔗AdamIt was like 11. Yeah, 11 and 12. But did everyone who was there knew Bad Religion? Oh, yeah. And here's what I guess I'm asking, especially, I don't think as much for Europe, but like Japan. We have a lot of bands who come in here who say they're going to Japan the next day and I never really want to say it, although I end up saying it anyway. It's like, how do they know you in Japan? And when you have a show in Japan, are they all coming out to see you or are they just coming out to see American Rock? You know what I mean?
28:27🔗CallerYeah. And actually in Japan, we do really well.
28:30🔗AdamSo you do a show in Japan and they're so short that they can actually squeeze more people into the venues. Like where a venue that might hold 2,500 Texans could hold 4 million Japanese. It's great, Drew. You know about that? Fire Marshal turns his head.
28:50🔗AdamOh, yeah. They stack them high wise. Yeah. So anyway, going to Europe and where in Europe?
28:57🔗CallerWe're doing a lot of the UK, which is really cool because every time before, we played the Redding Festival a couple of years ago, and I really wanted to see a lot more of England because of our favorite bands are from that area, and it's just like history lesson for all of us, I think.
29:15🔗AdamYou guys seem like intelligent enough guys to welcome it and drink it in and get something out of it. I mean, a lot of bands come in and they go, the food sucked, everyone was in a hole. We're glad to be back.
29:29🔗CallerThe food is going to suck and you're going to McDonald's a lot, but to be over there where all those bands grew up and came into the room.
29:36🔗AdamWhat are some of the bands that come out of England that you appreciate?
29:39🔗CallerI mean, The Clash, The Who, Elvis Costello, The Beatles.
29:44🔗CallerFor me, it's like The Cure and The Smiths are big fans of those bands.
29:48🔗AdamIt's weird. I love all those bands too, especially Elvis Costello and The Who and The Clash. But when I think of bands like Led Zeppelin, I think of them as an American band. Like I don't think of them as English.
30:02🔗AdamThey're so huge over here and they all look American and they sound, their music sounds like it. I mean, I'm trying to think of what other English bands that I think are American, but I don't think of like Led Drew. You think of Led Zeppelin?
30:23🔗CallerThe Stones were just like deep into the blues. The Stones were so deep into the blues that they wanted to be American. It just happens that they lived over there.
30:30🔗AdamAll right. Well, there's your little lesson, Drew. Led Zeppelin turns out from England.
30:35🔗AdamOh, yeah. We will jump on to the phones and speak to Jenny who's 19. Jenny?
30:42🔗CallerHi. What's up? I got my nipple pierced a while ago, and I was wondering if I was going to have problems breastfeeding when I was older.
30:50🔗DrewIt can make it a little tougher, but it doesn't impair it, doesn't prevent it.
30:54🔗CallerOkay. One of my friends said that it was going to be all blacked up, and I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed from the outside, but I wasn't sure.
31:02🔗DrewVery occasionally that can be an issue, but usually not.
31:05🔗AdamShe doesn't have a nipple piercing, does she?
31:19🔗CallerI didn't know how much it was going to hurt when I got it done, so I was like, I'll get one done, and if I really, really wanted, I'll get the other one done later on.
31:41🔗AdamGreat. That's great. That is a great gig. I can't understand the guys are doing the labia piercings and clitoral hood piercings and that kind of stuff. I imagine that gig.
31:54🔗AdamYeah. The great news is you don't have any 45-year-old saggy broads rolling in there with the punch slopping over the vagina and all that stuff. You have like nubile, young, crazy, heroin-addict women who are 19, like strippers and stuff, and you're getting paid and they probably tip you.
32:19🔗CallerI was actually in the tattoo shop one time and this girl was getting her clit pierced and we all knew it. They close the drape and everything. We're just all sitting there talking. All of a sudden this girl is like, oh, just like, we're like, oh my gosh. Everyone's like, it's okay, it's okay. Everything's fine. And she just like, it turns out when she left, we got the scoop from the piercer. She was like, she like came or something. When I pierced her, it was insane. Oh really?
32:41🔗AdamI bet that happens because here's the deal too. Chicks that get the clitoral piercing are nuts and nutty chicks are the most sexual because God has a very cruel sense of humor. He makes all the really insane, he makes all the totally adjusted sane women frigid and he makes all the crazy psycho bitches incredible in the sack. And so I bet, and we've talked to women who can have an orgasm just driving over a speed bump in a van or something. So I bet they have, half of them have an orgasm in there. I think we should hear something from MxPx. What do you think, Drew?
33:25🔗AdamI see. All right. This is from MxPx. This is off of the ever passing moment, the latest CD and this song is called Responsibility. Thank you. That is MxPx off of the ever-passing moment out in CDs.
36:40🔗CallerAnd Dr. Drew, I was wondering if you think that hypnosis and therapy can be helpful. Because we think I was abused at daycare when I was like three. But I don't remember it, so.
36:53🔗DrewI don't know that hypnosis is important. It's not so much resurrecting the memory as much as recreating or rather rewiring who you are in a relationship with somebody that you're closely involved with like a therapist. It will change you as you change in that relationship, as you grow in terms of your ability to express yourself and experience yourself in a therapeutic environment, you will change.
37:21🔗CallerWell, we found out after they talked to me that the lady that ran it left me, left her two teenage sons in charge. And I came home one day with only underwear and my bottom was all red. And they said that I had gotten into salt and rubbed it on me.
37:41🔗DrewMaybe they smacked you, but even that, I mean, obviously that's an awful thing.
37:43🔗CallerYeah, and my personality, I guess, completely changed. I got, like, really withdrawn and I used to be, like, really happy and then, and now I'm clinically depressed, so.
37:54🔗AdamYou mean all the 30 months you were on the planet before this incident, you were a happy-go-lucky, carefree individual, and then it all turned?
38:07🔗CallerWell, yeah. When you're at three, you have a personality.
38:15🔗AdamAll right, something could have happened.
38:16🔗DrewI should get a post-traumatic stress reaction or something. But be that as it may, what's going on in your interpersonal world now? Can you have relationships with people?
38:24🔗CallerWell, I have family and friends, yeah.
38:26🔗DrewBut no boyfriends or anything like that?
38:29🔗AdamYeah. All right. I'm with Drew on the whole hypnosis thing. I think it's a waste of time. And why, by the way, getting in touch with something or going... First off, people have past life regressions all the time through hypnosis, which is nonsense. And what the hell does knowing it do for you?
38:57🔗AdamOkay. So now you're really screwed. Just go to therapy if you're depressed.
39:01🔗DrewThe fantasy is that, well, now you can deal with this as an adult. But you know what? When that kind of thing happens to you, you get stuck as a child. You got to grow out of that place anyway and re-experiencing that trauma doesn't do that.
39:11🔗AdamI'm laughing because Drew and I always laugh about the past life regressions because everyone turned out to be a king or a knight, or maybe a duke or something like that. Duke is sort of the low end of the past life regression scale. As it turns out, you led many troops into battle, that kind of stuff. No one clean the stables. If you really break it down, what percentage of people were actually ruling monarchy? Do you know what I'm saying? What was it? 50%? 75%? Or would you say it was almost nobody? Nobody. Everyone else was just some serf who died of black plague or something, right? There's what you did. You ate straw for about 30 years, and you keeled over, and a big thing of donkey crap. But nobody says that. Now, if somebody said, hey, I had a past life regression, what happened? I worked at an Arby's, and I was killed by a guy in a drive-thru window. This was in 1969. I'd be like, well, all right, now we're on to something. But when you start telling me you pulled the sword out of the rock and held it up above your head, now I ain't buying it because not everyone was nobility. Doesn't work. You tell me you shoveled some crap and I'm buying it.
40:26🔗DrewEven when it's not nobility, I was a Union soldier. I fell in the field of getting burned. Right.
40:33🔗AdamNo one was shot in the ass hiding in a barn. You know what I mean? I mean, there's a certain amount of guys that were shot by their own troops. There's a certain amount of guys that were just hung by the army for cowardice and that kind of thing. Where are those people? Do they not have a past life?
40:52🔗CallerEven if you find something like that, who are you going to tell like, yeah, I was shot in the ass? You're not going to want to brag about that.
40:57🔗AdamRight. Now, and here's the other thing too. It's like, well, I was William the Conqueror. Okay, what are you doing now? I work for UPS. Okay, William. You drive the truck? No, not yet. Couple of years are going to give me a round. Oh, I see. He washes the trucks.
41:15🔗DrewI came back to this planet because I had unfinished business.
41:17🔗AdamYeah, unfinished business. There's parcels that needed delivery. You wanted to wear some brown shorts. It's one unfinished business. Yeah. So you led a nation in battle several hundred years ago, and now you live in an apartment in Sherman Oaks. You got a cat that won't listen to you, and you got a mini fridge where a big one should be. I don't think so. I think these people, when they came back, would have tend to have done something slightly more important than whatever it is you're doing now.
41:44🔗AdamOr not come back. There you go. Thank you for that. MxPx is our guest tonight. We'll take ourselves a little break when we come back. Speaking of coming back, we'll talk to Raquel. 14, bisexual. Boyfriend is jealous of a girlfriend wants to know what the deal is. Maybe doing some gambling after this. Loveline, Adam Corolla here, Dr. Drew over there. MxPx there. MxPx there. Gina Lee Nolan will be in Tomorrow Night, one of just the, just one of the best looking women ever. She's really, really good looking.
42:51🔗DrewIs this somebody you're planning on dating, or are you just scared?
43:13🔗AdamI never met her, I don't think. There's a new show called Sheena, Lord of the Jungle. Now, I don't know, what is Sheena? Is that Sheena, Lord of the Jungle or is it? It's a TV show.
43:25🔗DrewOh, I see. Oh, I have a clear, I will write that.
43:26🔗AdamI'll grab my scratch pad here. So, it's a TV show, not a minstrel show? All right. Anne Spist. Okay. So, she'll be in here tomorrow, but you know her work from Baywatch and then of course Baywatch. That's enough.
43:55🔗AdamI said to her, Alexandra Paul was a short haired one without the boob job, who was on the Baywatch for like the first five seasons. And I said to her, I said, what's up with Hasselhoff? I mean, the guy, you know, he has a piece of Baywatch, it's the biggest show in the world. They sold a billion records in Europe. I mean, the guy is set. He is set financially a hundred times over. He has to be. I mean, he is in on, I mean, I don't know what percentage he's getting off of Baywatch, but that number must be astronomical, the kind of money he got and syndication and everything for that show. And she said, well, see, I said, why does he keep going? Why not just relax, just retire? I said, listen, he's an artist. He is a creator. He is in it for the art. He's not in it for the money. I said, listen, I saw a preview for Baywatch Nights the other day. Susquatch was chasing a dude under the pier. Do you understand me?
45:56🔗CallerHow do you get the chain back on the bike?
45:58🔗AdamRight. Yeah. Yeah. Don't start at the bottom and get your finger out of the way if you start from the top. All right. Hold on, Raquel. We got a gamble on your past. Okay. All right. All right. For those of you who don't know how the gambling on this show works. Oh, Christ. I hope I put my. Oh, good. You guys got a dollar?
46:21🔗AdamI've been winning lately, by the way, which I may have just jinxed myself. All right. You want to put the five out there and take the singles. All right. Here's the deal. We gamble on the past. What brought Raquel to where she is today? Fourteen bisexual chaotic relationships.
47:02🔗AdamYubangus Ioannis, could you keep it down? Yubangus Ioannis, you look in the filth section. No, I don't go over there. I hit the blockbuster now.
47:22🔗AdamOutside of a bunker for that. But let's not digress here, Drew. Let's talk about Raquel. Who wants to go first? Should I go? Sure. All right. Bisexual had to have been tampered with a little bit. I'm going with a good tampered with by a woman. Young woman tampered with her. Could have done her this way. Yeah, because if her dad tampered with her, I don't think she'd go bisexual. But she's still in the dudes. Okay, I'm going tampered with a woman.
48:25🔗CallerWell, I don't like it, but. Right. Yeah, it seems to me that, I mean, I don't know when, yeah, some sort of, some sort of tampering or something, some other person inflicted this upon her.
48:43🔗AdamAll right, but when? And who? And what was the situation? I'll give you a multiple.
48:47🔗CallerSomeone she trusted. Someone, a family member.
49:54🔗AdamWe got dad doing a little sexual tampering. I have an older teenager, like 13, 14-year-old babysitter, doing some tampering at about seven. And Mike, you don't have one, do you?
50:06🔗CallerI'll go right now with just friend experimentation.
50:11🔗AdamTom, you're going peer like another seven-year-old.
50:23🔗DrewWait, throw a little physical abuse for him too.
50:24🔗AdamOh no, we got to take a break. Speaking of abuse, Drew, you got a long time to think about your answer. We'll be back with the end of the gambling after this.
50:33🔗Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.
51:18🔗AdamHey, it's Loveline, Adam Corolla. Yeah, okay, I never quite get that timing right. MxPx is our guest tonight. The ever-passing moments, the name of CD, Mike, Tom, and Yuri are all here. And when we left off, we were going to do a little gambling on Raquel. Raquel? Yeah? Yeah, all right, stay there, baby. All right, Raquel is 14. She's bisexual. Her boyfriend is 14 and freaking out a little. And we've done some gambling. I just want to make sure a little recap. I got babysitter doing some goose and teenage babysitter, when she was six or seven. Yeah, I went female. I went female.
52:00🔗AdamYuri went with that dad, not a bad bet. Tom went with Pierre, another seven-year-old goose in there when she was seven. And Mike went with, what did Mike go with? Well, Mike, that's not a bad bet. Because here you get it two ways. One is maybe there was nothing. And two is maybe she won't admit to anything, in which case you win by default. So you go with nothing. Mike goes with the smart nothing money. And Drew?
52:29🔗DrewI'm getting the definite Pierre vibe with her too, but I think that's stuff she started doing after her brother or her brother's friend sexually abused her for a few years. What age? Six to eight.
52:47🔗CallerWell, when I was, let's see, about two years ago, my mom started doing drugs. And let's see, I was forced to live with my dad, which might be one of the problems. And I really didn't want to because my mom's really cool. And since then, my dad's been kind of verbally abusive, actually really verbally abusive.
53:11🔗AdamAll right. Let's go back further than that, though. When did your parents break up?
54:32🔗CallerActually, she got into it about two years ago, and then, um, she went into rehab and she's out now. And my stepdad's back in prison again, for like the fifth time now.
54:43🔗AdamAh. Now we're warming up. When did they get married? Well, better yet, when did he come on the scene?
55:15🔗AdamThat happened to me once. I left the county, and I was pulled over by a state trooper. It turned out to be a parole violation. I didn't know I was on parole.
55:43🔗AdamOkay. Anyway, what did he do to get on parole?
55:49🔗CallerHe robbed a few restaurants. There you go.
55:53🔗AdamNow stealing food or? Oh, money. Yeah, he's no idea. Yeah, then you use that money to buy food and stereo equipment. Yeah, you don't just steal like a pancake mix and that kind of stuff.
56:08🔗AdamI see. Now he's going back to the Clink for what he did to violate his parole.
56:15🔗CallerThey were searching the house and his roommate had a gun. I guess he wasn't supposed to have a gun. They're blaming it. He knew it. It was there and stuff.
56:27🔗AdamOkay. So your mom is a real piece of work though, right? Yeah, I mean, she's, you know, getting in the coke at a sort of later part of life and she's remarried a guy who's basically I mean, I picture them getting married while a car is chasing them shooting at them. Actually, yeah, was he returning fire while they were trying to while they were getting married?
57:07🔗AdamOkay. All right. Well, let's just say on this one, even though we could probably dig around and find something, that there's no overt abuse, but that growing up in an environment where dad is physically verbally abusive and mom is into drugs and mom hooks up with a heroin addict who's going into prison, back and forth to prison, that's enough to sort of destabilize you to create an alternative lifestyle for you at the tender age of 14.
57:36🔗DrewJust sexualize your feelings. And so the only way you experience yourself and the only way you gratify yourself is through various kinds of sexual behaviors. All right.
57:55🔗AdamAnd you're kind of searching out things. But what you're doing in reality is just kind of making things more complicated. And maybe you need to be 14 and just kind of go to school and mellow out a little bit. And you see, here's the problem. You're 14 now and you're sort of well on your way. By the time you're 17 or 18, things aren't going to be looking too good for you. Don't you want to go off to college and have a good life and do all that stuff that everyone else does? You know what I mean? Could you not get pregnant, please? Please.
58:50🔗AdamOkay. Raquel? Yes? This whole bisexual lifestyle, maybe it is something that you are into, maybe it is not, but can you just put things on hold for a few years and be kind of normal and be a good example for your younger sister and all that stuff?
59:08🔗AdamYeah. When you go to visit your stepdad, you can find Jesus Christ because he is in prison. That is where everyone finds him. I do not know if he lives there or he visits there or what goes on, but that is where everyone seems to find him.
59:52🔗CallerHey, I'm a big fan and I've noticed that you do a lot of European tours. And I was wondering that after you finish this one that goes through, like, I think October, if you're going to come back to the US and play any shows in California.
1:01:17🔗CallerOkay. I want to know if there's a day in the month where you can't get pregnant because people have been telling me that and I want to know if it's true.
1:01:23🔗DrewThere are many days in the month when you can't get pregnant. The problem is you just don't know when those days are.
1:02:29🔗CallerAll right. First of all, I'd like to say you guys kicked total booty. I've been with you guys for like six years and I'm just totally amazed at how you guys continued to just grow. I'm a musician myself and I was just wondering what kind of advice you could give to someone like me. Yeah.
1:02:52🔗CallerYeah, I'm in a band. We're called Set Apart and we play little shows here and there.
1:02:57🔗CallerHow long have you been playing your instrument?
1:02:59🔗CallerI've been playing for about four years, but just recently our band decided to go a new way and we got two new guitars and I just sing now.
1:03:27🔗AdamYeah, you could cover that one. All right. He has it all. Yes, he does. Come on. They don't write lyrics like that anymore. Jared, why don't you do a little something from your original song repertoire? Really? Yeah.
1:03:44🔗CallerI don't know if it's even worthy of...
1:04:20🔗AdamAll right. There you go. That's got a lot of charisma. Kid's got a good look. I don't know if they even do this anymore, but when they advertise for a guy like they want a band member, they need a new bass player, and they write an important have a sharp look or something like that. To me, that always seems like a red flag has been raised for the band.
1:04:45🔗DrewHow the Mr. Concade would say at the Partridge family.
1:04:48🔗AdamRight. Yeah. You need a good look. And then when they, and they always do this too. And it always drives me nuts when they, when they give you the range of the band. Like we do everything from, from Hendrix to Al Jolson or something. And you go, well, what's that mean? I mean, that doesn't mean anything. Just say everything. It's like those, those, you ever read like some bottle on like some glass cleaner and it goes, works on glass, metal, tile, ceramic, and then it says everything. And I figure myself, why the f am I reading what it worked? Just put the everything at the goddamn top. I wouldn't have to go through all the list of things that it does and everything.
1:05:41🔗AdamI just go rain for 40 days. We get the message, never stop raining. You know what I mean? And 49. Like as if we think, well, as long as it cleared up at night and things had a chance to drain, there shouldn't be a problem.
1:05:55🔗CallerThey were looking for a way to make the book a little bit longer.
1:05:57🔗AdamYeah. The guys who wrote the Bible, like when you wrote that report, it needed to be 11 pages. You had like the cover page, the table of contact, your sources, you're writing a huge bold print. Yeah. I think they were just killing it. I don't know what the Bible is, but they could get it down to like a pamphlet type size. It doesn't need to be that big.
1:06:48🔗CallerAnd I guess I'll just play the little intro. Yeah.
1:06:52🔗CallerAll right. I'll try this really fast.
1:06:55🔗AdamAll right. Listen, when you pick up the phone, if we're not here, that means we're going to like it. Folks are sleeping in the next room. Oh, Christ. To the neck.
1:07:26🔗AdamAnd listen, Jared, I know stuff doesn't translate the best over the phone and into the radio and all that, but here's why I know you're going places. Because you put the phone down, you didn't argue with us, you got the guitar out, you started playing, and that's what you need. And I just want you to make this promise to me, Jared. If you guys ever get successful enough and you play enough gigs and you wind up on Loveline, and I'm still here, I want you to shoot me. Could you do that?
1:08:16🔗CallerOn Thursday night, you guys are playing in San Francisco, and my friend Kendall and I are driving like four and a half hours up there. And I was just wondering if maybe you guys could play like a special song or something or you guys not do that.
1:09:04🔗AdamSpeaking of My Life Story, here it is. We're just going to pop in the guinea.
1:11:52🔗CallerWe need some clarification. Any GIO majors?
1:11:55🔗AdamNone of our stoners are going to know this one. But it's funny when they put stuff together, like the actress, singer that most of our listeners will know, Pia Zadora.
1:12:51🔗DrewThey are the same, but Minka is somehow a happier thought.
1:12:54🔗AdamYou see that Ferrari in driveway? That's my toy. I'm number one, Oriental Big Boob Queen. You guys know Minka? You don't enjoy the ladies? I don't know. The pornography? You don't like the big boob Asian porn? No? Obviously, no. You don't know makeup? All right, we'll take a break. MxPx is here and we'll be back after this.
1:13:49🔗AdamHey, Loveline. Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew. Mike, Tom, and Yuri are all here from MxPx. The Ever-Passing Moment is the name of the current CD. It will be in San Francisco on Thursday, and then Sacramento, and then Salt Lake City, and then it's Europe. So if you want to catch them here stateside, you got to do it in the next five days or so. All right, Gina Lee Nolan will be in here tomorrow night to talk about whatever she wants to talk about. She's that good looking. And we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Arlene. Arlene?
1:14:33🔗CallerLast couple of years, I've been in and out of counseling. Right. And I've been out of it for probably the last five, six months. And it's been getting really bad again.
1:14:50🔗CallerWell, it seems like it's for no reason at all. But I don't know, I just won't sleep at night. I eat like one meal a day. You know, I'm unsure of everything I'm doing.
1:16:37🔗AdamAlright, why don't you go into Chicago and throw yourself on the mercy of the city. Well, not the entire city, but what I mean is just go in there, find a hospital or a college, find a county run or a teaching. Teaching hospital. Oh, for Christ's sake. Did you go to County USC, Drew?
1:17:17🔗AdamOh, no, it is not. No. Well, first off, you sit in a room with basically like hobo transvestites that are projectile vomiting out. You know, syringes are flying out of people's mouths while you're sitting there. You know, I mean, you're in with the dregs of society. I mean, it is frightening. I mean, really, everyone there is just, you know, it's junkies drag themselves in off the street have been run over by blue rail trains, you know, and that's who you sit next to. And they see them before they see you because you're not in nearly as bad a shape as those guys are.
1:17:52🔗DrewAnd you're not just talking about a couple people.
1:17:54🔗AdamNo, no. Let me tell you, this is like, yeah, County USC, it would be like, well, it would be the hospital equivalent to a sewer drain. You know what I mean? Everyone just gets washed into it. Everyone who's not on high ground just gets washed down into that place. And so you could probably get hepatitis just sitting in the waiting room, you know, like you walk in with a twisted ankle, you walk out with a scurvy. Right, Drew? That's right.
1:18:26🔗DrewI don't know about vitamin deficiency.
1:18:28🔗AdamYou sit there. I had this dude suck all the vitamin C out of my body while I was sitting next to him. And you're sitting there, guys are like, you know, guys are bleeding and vomiting and you just sit amongst them. And then seven and a half hours later, you go down and they take a look at you. And by then you're hoping it's something. It's like I was like, I went in there going, well, I got a really bad sprain on my ankle. I mean, it's really bad. I think the size of a football. I hope it's not broken, was the feeling I had on the way into the hospital. Then at hour number seven, I go, I hope the goddamn bone is sticking out through my heel. I want something better be broken. Yeah, I want to go. I'm going to be rushed into the ER right now because I'm not sitting here seven hours for a sprain. I don't want to tell them to stay.
1:19:16🔗DrewAlso, you feel like a pussy after seeing all the stuff that really goes on. What the hell am I doing here? A lot of people go home and they get intimidated by what's going on.
1:19:23🔗AdamI take my honky ass and hobble right out of that place. I know. So yeah, there it was. And then I got a bill like six months later. But you know, the good news is you don't have to pay it. They send you a bill and it's kind of funny. It's like, hey, you think if you got some extra money you might want to send it our way because that ace bandage, that's $108. You know, and you go, no, I don't want to pay it. They go, okay, sorry. So it is, you can't argue with the price over there. Sam, you're 20. Wait a minute, Drew. I was there when I was like 23 or 22 or 23. So we're talking about like 13 years ago. Yeah, 13 years.
1:22:42🔗DrewBut brings new meaning to dropping the kids off at the pool. Sam, but do you do want to keep sperm away from that area, right? Because even though it might not be a direct hit, stuff can get in, you know what I'm saying? Be careful. And if you're engaged in sexual activity, how about at least keeping the morning after pillow around and preferably getting on the pill?
1:23:27🔗DrewYou know, most of the decrease in teen pregnancy in this country is due to the use, more regular use of the sustained contraceptions like Depo-Provera.
1:23:34🔗AdamYeah. I think the doc sized her up, figured out we didn't want any little Sam's running around.
1:23:43🔗AdamPutting butter knives into light sockets and things like that. So we better just shoot her up at the depo. This guy's a genius. This guy's a hero. These are the kinds of guys I want. That's fine with me.
1:25:25🔗AdamYeah, Loveline, Adam Corolla over here, Dr. Drew over there, Gina Lee Nolan is going to be in here tomorrow night. Earing Tom and now here comes Mike from MxPx. The ever passing moment is the name of the CD. Should we all chew gum into the mic?
1:25:52🔗CallerI was planning to let MxPx know that they're my favorite man. And I went to the show in San Bernardino on Sunday, and it was really cool.
1:27:04🔗CallerThis girl at work, she's my friend, but she wants me to do a threesome with her and her boyfriend and I don't know how to say no without breaking up our friendship because she knows that I have done it before with our other mutual friend.
1:27:17🔗DrewHow'd that conversation come up anyway?
1:27:19🔗CallerBecause she just would casually bring it up, like not casually, but just bring it up when we're going out like to a bar or something.
1:27:53🔗AdamOh, yeah. Anderson wants to know what happened to the rule where people use the S word and they hang up on it. That doesn't count for hot chicks who are thinking about threesomes. I stretch it to that.
1:28:39🔗AdamDon't challenge me. I'm one of the few people I know who's thrown up an ice machine and urinated an ice machine. And as soon as I take a crap in one, I will have completed the trifecta and I can call it a life. I'm waiting for that. You know, some people, you know, some people like work at the same place for 30 years and they retire and they die six months later and they go, well, he stopped work and he lost the will to live. For me, it's crapping in an ice machine. I'm scared if I crap in an ice machine, I'll be gone in three weeks. I'll hold out a little bit longer. I don't want to hold out too long. You know what I'm saying? It's going to be a situation where I'm like in the 80s, I'm going to have to someone wheel me to an ice machine.
1:29:16🔗CallerI'm going to take a crap at it. I'm good to go.
1:29:21🔗AdamYou know how Indians know when they're going to die? Or at least that's what white people think. I don't know if they actually know.
1:29:30🔗DrewIn one movie, there was an example of that.
1:29:33🔗AdamWe sold that and then we all bought in to it. Where is he going? He's going to die. How does he know? He's Indian. Leave him alone. What did he do? He brought a gun with him. Well, in case he didn't die, he's going to kill himself. He's got a lot of pride. Either way, he's not coming back. All right. Mercedes?
1:30:34🔗CallerI think that song definitely encompasses a lot of what our band is about. It's very positive, just trying to, Tomorrow's Another Day is basically it's about waking up and being able to just make your life right with yourself. And no matter what you do that you feel bad about or that you do wrong, you always have that chance to make a change and do something better for yourself, make a better life.
1:31:08🔗CallerThat's a good song. I love it. I saw you guys for the first time on Sunday. I've been listening to you guys since high school, but you guys were awesome on Sunday.
1:31:13🔗CallerMy friends were making fun of me because I was crying.
1:32:07🔗AdamKid fell off of Huckleberry Toad's Wild Peacock Finanza or something. What did he fall off of? Roger Rabbit? Yes.
1:32:17🔗CallerWas he trying to climb to a different car?
1:32:19🔗AdamI think I heard about that. Here's the thing. Kids try to get out and fat people get thrown and stuff. But normally if you are somewhere under 400 pounds and you do what they tell you to do, you'll be fine. But here's the thing about roller coasters, amusement parks and rides like that. It's feast or famine. You're either having the time of your life or you're getting ground in some gears. You know what I mean? But there's no in-between. No one gets thrown from a roller coaster. It's like, what happened? I hurt my ass. Yeah, I'm all right.
1:32:52🔗AdamYeah. Now I'm going to be on the arcade for a while. I'm going to walk it off. I mean, it's like you're either totally unscathed or you get crowned up, but there's no like, no one ever got bruised in a ride.
1:33:05🔗CallerYou can get, actually, I went on a ride over on the East Coast. Old roller coaster, wood, just insane. Like, oh, it's a wood roller coaster. It doesn't go upside down, no big deal, right?
1:33:16🔗CallerThat thing would, that thing basically smashed me up and down all over the place. I didn't break an arm or anything, but I was pretty bruised up. So that's the one exception because there's always one.
1:33:27🔗AdamAnd maybe your ego was a little bruised too.
1:33:29🔗CallerYeah, it was like, you know, that was pretty crazy.
1:33:32🔗AdamYou know, my theory, and here's why I don't go on roller coasters, and now they're getting the data starting to come out on these things. Here's my theory, you know it, Drew, which is 99% of you knows you strapped in a roller coaster, you waded the line, you paid. But there's 1% of your brain, and that 1% of your brain is like that little reptilian part of your brain. And it thinks the car went off the overpass and is plunging into the ocean. That's what it thinks. And that part of your brain tells the rest of your body, hey, here's some adrenaline, man. Freak out, because you're in a free fall, man. It doesn't know that you're strapped into a safety harness. It doesn't know that you're having a good time. There's a part of your brain that has to just be reacting like in a, like I said, like a reptilian, chromagnum kind of way to that, right? And you can't talk that part out of it. I mean, that's why you stiffen up. That's why the adrenaline surges and all that. I don't think that's good for you, to fake that part of your brain. And to thinking you're actually... You know why? Because the one time you do actually go off the overpass in the car and you're going to plunge into the river, your brain goes out of relax. Just another, just another ride. Oh, water's pouring into the van. Don't bother getting out. It'll all be over in a minute.
1:34:55🔗CallerSo we need to get that girl's number, because I really want to get in to Disneyland for free.
1:34:58🔗DrewOh, she can't do anything. Adrienne is having bleeding two months after an abortion. That is not normal. Go back.
1:35:03🔗AdamOh, go talk to her during the break. Come on. We'll take a break. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. No, I don't have time to get into all of them. Yeah. Right, I get it. There, there, we were just talking about something, and there's a place in hell for those guys who profit off of that kind of stuff. We're talking about publicists. All right, I want to thank MxPx for coming in and being a good time, as they always are on this show. And it's good to see you guys again.
1:36:03🔗AdamGood luck in San Francisco, Sacramento, and Salt Lake, and then good luck in Europe, and when enough time has passed, we need to sort of decompress here. But you guys are playing an LA show or whatever. Come on back and hang out, and we'll do it all again. The ever-passing moment is the name of the CD. Go out and get it if you haven't already, and until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:36:31🔗CallerThis has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.