Wednesday, August 30, 2000

1:41🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:52🔗 Drew Hey, it is the Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. I'm ready to do one hell of a show tonight, Drew.

2:08🔗 Adam You don't know what's up.

2:09🔗 Drew I don't know. I'm ready to rock. I'm ready to rock tonight. Drew was napping on the sofa in front of the studio, outside.

2:18🔗 Adam In the parking lot.

2:19🔗 Drew In the parking lot when I walked in.

2:21🔗 Adam Yep.

2:22🔗 Drew I thought a hobo had been rolled. Yeah, what's up with you?

2:27🔗 Adam Just tired.

2:27🔗 Drew You couldn't even make it inside the building?

2:29🔗 Adam Actually, did a little reading on sleep deprivation. It shows very clearly. A good study came out last week that showed that if you get a 10-minute nap, your restitution of your rest is substantially better than if you take 30 minutes.

2:45🔗 Drew Yeah, there's a whole science. My other partner, Jimmy Kimmel, the Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, he has his cycle time down to like, he has to take a nap for like an hour and 31 minutes. Otherwise, he's screwed. I don't put too much stock in that. Although I do know once in a while, I take a nap for an hour and a half and I wake up and I feel like hell for the rest of the day. Sometimes I take a nap for an hour and 15 minutes, I feel great.

3:15🔗 Adam Yes. I took 10 minutes earlier today and it kept me going for five hours. I was great. Then I started to hit the wall again.

3:20🔗 Drew All right. So we have to figure out our cycle. Is that what you're saying?

3:23🔗 Adam We have to start cycling together.

3:27🔗 Drew All right. Should we go on with the show?

3:30🔗 Adam Yeah, please.

3:30🔗 Drew You want to do that?

3:31🔗 Whatever.

3:32🔗 Drew We'll speak to Mike who's 26. Mike?

3:36🔗 Yeah, I'm here.

3:36🔗 Drew Great, Mike. What's up, brother?

3:39🔗 I just think I have something going on that's weird. I get really excited over sporting events. Yeah. If my team or the guy that I'm rooting for does really well, my wife just gets hammered that night. I mean, I don't know what it is. I just get overly excited, I think.

3:55🔗 Drew Right. Yeah, she takes one for the team, so to speak.

4:00🔗 I mean, Tony, when you got your 900, that was the biggest night of my love life ever.

4:05🔗 Drew Oh, you're calling from somewhere that does the show ever. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Tony Hawk is not in tonight. You're listening to Last Night Show.

4:14🔗 Well, that sucks, then.

4:15🔗 Drew Yeah, but don't, no, no, don't worry. I'm super funny.

4:18🔗 Adam What?

4:19🔗 You also listen to it, because I mean, that was literally the pinnacle of my love life.

4:23🔗 Adam The 900.

4:23🔗 My past or suck.

4:24🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. He pulled the 900, and Mike pulled the 69. It was great.

4:29🔗 Adam Well, a lot of people have a connection between aggressive impulses and sexuality.

4:35🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:35🔗 Adam And it could be that. Plus, you know, sports is known, usually when people are engaged in sports, so it can raise testosterone levels.

4:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Adrenaline is pumping. And there's no, let me tell you something, there's no substitute for being in a good mood, too, when it comes to the boinking. So anyway.

4:53🔗 Adam You're just having a winning team.

4:54🔗 Drew Right. No answer to that question. Eric? Yes. You're 17?

4:58🔗 Caller Yes.

4:59🔗 Drew That's the kind of depression I miss. What's going on?

5:02🔗 Caller I started working in a strip club with my father, and I'm only 17, and I'm afraid that my mother will find out what should I do.

5:11🔗 Adam Does your mom know that your dad works in a strip club?

5:13🔗 Drew Well, she dances there.

5:14🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

5:16🔗 Drew What's your father do at the strip club?

5:18🔗 Caller He's a dancer also.

5:20🔗 Drew I see.

5:22🔗 Adam What do you do there?

5:23🔗 Caller I'm a dancer as well.

5:25🔗 Drew I see. What is your stage name?

5:29🔗 Caller Thunder.

5:30🔗 Drew Thunder?

5:31🔗 Yes.

5:34🔗 Drew What's your nationality?

5:36🔗 Caller I'm black.

5:37🔗 Drew Yeah. White guy couldn't pull this off at 17. Just couldn't. You see what white guys look like in their underpants at 17? They don't look like Thunder. Is it one of these things? Is it like a black club? No.

5:55🔗 Caller I mean any dancers or customers can come in.

6:00🔗 Drew I see. What?

6:01🔗 Adam Anybody can get up there and dance?

6:03🔗 Drew No. No. But it's not a black club.

6:06🔗 Adam You know what I'm saying.

6:07🔗 Drew So, so you dance. What's your dad's dancing name?

6:11🔗 Caller His is Rider, Night Rider.

6:15🔗 Drew Night Rider?

6:16🔗 Caller Yes.

6:16🔗 Drew And because he's a big David Hasselhoff fan?

6:19🔗 Caller No. I don't know how he got his name.

6:21🔗 Drew I see. And what's he come out in? What's his beginning outfit?

6:25🔗 Caller I mean just a biker outfit, you know. But he changes up every now and then.

6:31🔗 Drew I see. And what do you get down to?

6:34🔗 Caller Everything. You get yourself in socks.

6:37🔗 Drew You get the sock over the penis?

6:39🔗 Adam Not your feet.

6:40🔗 Drew Oh, just your socks on your feet?

6:42🔗 Caller Yes.

6:42🔗 Drew You get totally naked?

6:43🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

6:44🔗 Drew Is that what goes on at these things?

6:46🔗 Caller At some.

6:46🔗 Drew Not all. It's been a while since I've taken in a good male ass show.

6:52🔗 Adam Is it all men?

6:53🔗 Drew How much do you make?

6:55🔗 Caller Oh, I can make lots of money and tips a night.

6:58🔗 Drew And who shows up? Gays and fat chicks?

7:01🔗 Caller Just women.

7:03🔗 Drew Just fat women?

7:04🔗 Caller Not all of the fads.

7:06🔗 Drew Right. Summer Husky?

7:08🔗 Caller I guess you could say that.

7:10🔗 Drew All right. Well, listen, your mom's sensibilities can't be too delicate if she's married to a guy who goes by the name of Knight Rider and shakes his dung around for tips. And are they still living together?

7:22🔗 Caller Yes.

7:22🔗 Adam And takes his 17 year old son to engage.

7:26🔗 Drew Yeah. I remember when my dad took me to Strip for the first time. And in the Jewish culture, they do it at 13.

7:32🔗 Adam Oh, it's one of those sort of commercial moments.

7:35🔗 Drew Rite of passage.

7:36🔗 Adam No, it's a Kodak moment. Yeah, it's a Kodak commercial.

7:39🔗 Drew Yeah. Right. All right. So strangely enough, I believed Eric. And you know why I believed Eric? Because I asked him what his dancing name was and he didn't hesitate. He said Thunder. And I asked when his dance name was and he didn't hesitate. He said David Hasselhoff.

7:54🔗 Adam It's so bizarre. And reality is always stranger than fiction.

7:59🔗 Drew So all right.

8:00🔗 Adam But we didn't do anything for it.

8:01🔗 Drew No. Eric. Yes. What is your does your mom suspect anything? How many nights a week are you stepping out to the club?

8:09🔗 Caller Well, I dance Friday, Saturday and Thursday.

8:12🔗 Drew Right. And what's your mom think you're doing?

8:15🔗 Caller Well, I usually sneak out later than my father does. Like when she sleeps.

8:22🔗 Drew And do you guys carpool or anything?

8:25🔗 Caller I drive myself.

8:27🔗 Adam I see. Is anybody doing drugs at home? Mom?

8:29🔗 Caller No.

8:30🔗 Drew No. And what do you think mom's reaction would be if she found out you were doing this?

8:34🔗 Caller I guess she would. I think she would be kind of sick because I'm not 18 yet.

8:39🔗 Drew Yeah. But.

8:39🔗 Adam Even at 18, I think she would be.

8:41🔗 Drew Isn't a little bit of a family trade, you know what I mean? Like saddle making?

8:46🔗 Caller Well, this is me and my dad and nobody else in our family.

8:51🔗 Drew All right. So your grandfather doesn't strip?

8:54🔗 Caller No.

8:54🔗 Drew And his grandfather before him?

8:56🔗 Caller No.

8:56🔗 Drew No. I see.

8:57🔗 Adam But this would be the beginning of a great legacy, you know.

9:00🔗 Drew Right. All right. Hey, Eric?

9:02🔗 Caller Yes?

9:02🔗 Drew I say fool your mom for as long as you possibly can.

9:06🔗 Adam Why?

9:07🔗 Drew And when and if she finds out, you blame Night Rider, your father.

9:11🔗 Caller OK.

9:12🔗 Adam Well.

9:12🔗 Drew Well, what else are you going to do? The guy's got a good gig. How much money did he say he was making?

9:17🔗 Adam A lot.

9:17🔗 Drew Eric, what do you make on a good night? What has been your best night?

9:20🔗 Caller Well, the club pays us $300 a night. And in tips, I can make at least $1,000.

9:27🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

9:27🔗 Caller Jesus Christ.

9:29🔗 Drew I was carpet cleaning for $6.25 an hour. Oh, it's $17. I was working at the Flask Liquor, delivering booze for people who didn't tip.

9:39🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

9:40🔗 Drew Jesus Christ.

9:41🔗 Adam That's what gets so alluring to those sorts of things. Now I understand why people don't want those things around.

9:46🔗 Drew Drew is making more than we make at MTV.

9:48🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

9:48🔗 Drew That is amazing. All right.

9:50🔗 Adam But imagine how sort of...

9:52🔗 Drew Ah, let him do it.

9:53🔗 Adam But imagine how trapped that would feel to be stuck.

9:56🔗 Drew All right. Now, Drew, you would be outraged if this was a 17-year-old girl doing this.

10:01🔗 Adam No, I don't...

10:01🔗 Drew Because it's a 17-year-old guy, it's no big deal.

10:03🔗 Adam No, it's the same problem I had.

10:04🔗 Drew No, it's not. What's he doing? What's he going to do?

10:08🔗 Adam I'll tell you what, it's not as painful and destructive to him. You know, men... But you could hear it in his voice. He's got... We could have bet on him.

10:15🔗 Drew You think he's gay or something?

10:17🔗 Adam No, he's got something going on.

10:18🔗 Drew Hey, Thunder?

10:19🔗 Yes.

10:20🔗 Drew Are you gay?

10:21🔗 Caller No.

10:22🔗 Drew You like chicks?

10:23🔗 Caller Yes.

10:24🔗 Drew Alright. Were you beaten or abused?

10:27🔗 Caller No, not really, no.

10:29🔗 Adam Not really?

10:29🔗 Drew Once in a while, your dad beat you with his thong back?

10:33🔗 No.

10:34🔗 Drew When most dads reach for their belt, he would reach for a studded G-string.

10:38🔗 Adam Your mother what?

10:40🔗 Caller My mom did most of the discipline.

10:42🔗 Drew I see. Alright.

10:43🔗 Adam There it is.

10:43🔗 Drew Alright, Eric, are you done with school or do you have your senior year to do?

10:48🔗 Caller I have my senior year to do.

10:50🔗 Adam And you're doing it?

10:51🔗 Drew Oh my god. This is a TV movie of the week.

10:55🔗 Adam Bad Ronald?

10:55🔗 Drew Honor.

10:57🔗 Adam Returns?

10:58🔗 Drew Yeah. No. You know, honor roll student by day, exotic dancer by night. James Vanderbeek stars. Is Eric, the Loveline caller, aka Thunder. That would be the name. Let's see. Here would be the name of the movie of the week. Distant Thunder. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you, there's not enough movies of the week going on anymore. I'd like to see some of those come back. Some of the good ones like Killdozer and Bad Ronald. Stuff where those amazing Dobermans, stuff where farm equipment was possessed, Devil Dog, Hound from Hell. All those good ones we got to see growing up. Now, it's some chick with breast cancer who's scared she's going to lose her lesbian partner if she finds out the news. That's not for guys. TV movie. I swear to God, I've done research on this. I know I've spoken about it before. But there was a TV movie about guys who train Dobermans to rob a bank for them. There was a TV movie where James Brolin got locked in a department store and had to do battle with these Dobermans that were set loose for security. There was Devil Dog Hound from Hell. It was a German Shepherd that was possessed by the devil. There was the Devil's Triangle.

12:19🔗 Adam How many of those were there?

12:20🔗 Drew Well, then there was Beyond the Devil's Triangle. But as I told you, even at age like 10 or 11 when I saw Beyond the Devil's Triangle, I was doing the math and I was thinking to myself, wait a minute, if you're Beyond the Devil's Triangle, you're in Bermuda.

12:33🔗 Adam You're fine.

12:33🔗 Drew You're all right. Right now, you know where the studio is? You know where our Loveline studio is?

12:39🔗 Adam Beyond the Triangle.

12:40🔗 Drew Beyond the Devil's Triangle. That's right. And where's Eastern Europe?

12:44🔗 Beyond the Devil's Triangle.

12:46🔗 Drew There you go. And where are some of the nicest country clubs and golf courses in the Palm Desert area?

12:52🔗 Adam Beyond the Devil's Triangle.

12:53🔗 Drew There you go. There you go. I had difficulty with the math even back then. There were killer bees.

12:59🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

13:00🔗 Drew Movies of the Week about killer bees. There were like nuns who attacked people. There were like renegade nuns. And I mean, it was great. A lot of statanic stuff.

13:09🔗 Adam It was all geared to the 11-year-old male.

13:11🔗 Drew Right. John? Yeah. Kildozer. You understand it was a bulldozer that was possessed. That was a movie of the week. How did that pitch go? All right. John, you're 15. What's going on?

13:27🔗 Caller Pretty much.

13:28🔗 About an hour ago, I was masturbating.

13:31🔗 And I guess one of my friends screwed around with one of my lotions. And I guess it would put cayenne pepper in it.

13:37🔗 Or something that burns.

13:39🔗 Ouch!

13:40🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

13:42🔗 So I was about three minutes into it. You know, I started feeling it burning.

13:45🔗 Caller And I looked down and it started to swell.

13:49🔗 And, I mean, I wiped it off real quick. And I went to the bathroom, cleaned it off. And I just want to know. And it, like, still burns and still, like, swollen. What do you mean? What can I do?

13:59🔗 Adam What do you mean swollen?

14:00🔗 Like, it's not erect, but it's big. It's, like, swollen.

14:03🔗 Adam So it's irritated.

14:05🔗 Yeah.

14:05🔗 Drew Yeah, what would it mean irritated? Why would it be big if it was irritated?

14:08🔗 Adam That little feature that happens.

14:10🔗 Drew I could have sprinkled some paprika on my penis when I get home to see what happens.

14:13🔗 Adam Use a little help. Capsaicin is a compound in creams that, if a really diabolical friend could stick in.

14:20🔗 Drew What do you mean, capsaicin?

14:22🔗 Adam It's a, they're creams. It's a derivative for cayenne pepper. It's a...

14:27🔗 Drew Cream?

14:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:28🔗 Drew Why?

14:29🔗 Adam It's actually used to numb nerve endings in chronic pain, like neuropathic pain. When you first put it on, it burns like hell.

14:34🔗 Drew Where'd you get it?

14:35🔗 Adam It's in pharmacies.

14:36🔗 Drew Oh, well, like, he didn't go to a pharmacy as a 14-year-old buddy. No, no, no. He got a little like Bengay or something like that. Mix it in there.

14:46🔗 Adam Maybe, maybe.

14:47🔗 Caller All right.

14:47🔗 Drew So what do you do? Rinse your penis off, you're fine?

14:49🔗 Adam Cold water soap.

14:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:51🔗 Adam It should be fine.

14:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

14:52🔗 Drew Hey, guys, I swear to God I'm going to come out with a handbook or at least a laminated warning type thing that teenagers can mount in their bathroom, which is we've all experienced the tragedy of whacking off with pral or dandruff shampoo or using something that harms the penis. And guys don't figure that out. I mean, they learn the hard way.

15:15🔗 Adam You see you're going to distribute.

15:16🔗 Drew I'd like to do a PSA.

15:17🔗 Adam Distribute pamphlets.

15:19🔗 Drew I just think here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to do one of those late night public service announcements that runs at 4.30 in the morning.

15:26🔗 Adam You see that boat?

15:27🔗 Drew Where I come walking out? Yeah, and I say, Hi, I'm Adam Carolla. Many of you recognize me from my popular television shows, The Man Show and Loveline. I do a lot of kidding on TV. But one thing I'm not kidding about is penis irritation. It happens to over 5 million teenage boys a year. It's a tragedy that can be prevented. And then I just hold up a list of things that guys are whacked off with, deodorant, dandruff shampoo, epsom salt, things like that. The many things that the men have rubbed on their penis as a teenager.

16:05🔗 Adam You would need one of those classic commercial charts, though, with a fire burning and then some sort of column that rises depending on the degree of burning caused by the different agents.

16:14🔗 Drew Right.

16:14🔗 Adam A little flame.

16:16🔗 Drew Yeah, graphics, illustration. Again, I'm not selling anything. This is a heads up, so to speak. Is that Demra?

16:24🔗 Caller Hi, how are you today?

16:26🔗 Drew Hey, you're 27. What's going on?

16:28🔗 Caller I'm confused and I was hoping maybe Dr. Drew might be able to help me out.

16:32🔗 Adam What's going on?

16:33🔗 Caller My son's always sick since he was like six months old. One major thing after another.

16:40🔗 Adam Like what? What do you mean major?

16:42🔗 Caller He was born with a heart murmur that he ended up having open heart surgery for when he was three years old.

16:48🔗 Adam Do you know what the murmur was due to?

16:49🔗 Caller No. We don't know what caused it.

16:52🔗 Adam No, no, no, no. What murmur just means...

16:55🔗 Caller There's a hole in the heart.

16:56🔗 Adam Right. What was that diagnosis? A ventricular septal defect?

17:02🔗 Caller I don't remember. I was 18 when that happened. I lived most of my days in a fog. Just going from one heart specialist to the other because I was on Medi-Cal back then. And he had the heart surgery and they said that it was an ASD surgery.

17:18🔗 Adam ASD?

17:19🔗 Uh-huh.

17:20🔗 Adam Atrial septal, not VSD, but ASD.

17:22🔗 Right, ASD.

17:23🔗 Adam Looks like an atrial septal defect.

17:24🔗 Drew Holy Christ.

17:25🔗 Adam Okay.

17:26🔗 Caller And then last year he kept getting dehydrated and breaking out in rashes and was really tired all the time.

17:35🔗 Adam Uh-uh. Have you been back to see the cardiologist?

17:37🔗 Caller No. He saw a cardiologist and they said that his heart was fine, but all they did was an EKG.

17:43🔗 Adam He needs an echocardiogram.

17:45🔗 Caller I keep fighting with Kaiser and they won't do one.

17:47🔗 Drew Wait a minute. She just said EKG.

17:49🔗 Adam No. It just shows the electrical activity of the heart. She needs an echo sound wave. Well, wait a minute.

17:55🔗 Drew What's an EKG?

17:57🔗 Adam Electrocardiogram.

17:58🔗 Drew Oh. That's a difference in the echocardiogram?

18:00🔗 Adam Echocardiogram, yeah.

18:02🔗 Drew What would be the initials for the echocardiogram?

18:05🔗 Adam No initials.

18:07🔗 Caller Oh, like fighting?

18:08🔗 Adam Hang on a second.

18:09🔗 Drew For Christ's sake, someone's got to work this one out.

18:11🔗 Adam That's why we call it an echocardiogram and not an EKG.

18:14🔗 Drew All right. But when you hear someone say EKG, you think it's echocardiogram.

18:17🔗 Adam No, it's electrocardiogram.

18:19🔗 Drew All right. So what's happening?

18:21🔗 Caller Okay. Well, then last year with all of that, I finally fought with Kaiser enough and they did some tests on him, and they found out that he's having some kidney problems.

18:30🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Is he on medication still?

18:32🔗 Caller No, they never put him on medication for the heart.

18:35🔗 Drew All right. So we understand your child's in bad shape. We're sorry to hear about it.

18:41🔗 Adam Not in bad shape, necessarily.

18:42🔗 Drew Well, all right. Listen, he's no triathlete. Well, no, actually, what do you want? What can we do about it?

18:47🔗 Caller Well, what I was wondering is if there's one major disease disorder that could be causing all of these little minor disorders, that maybe the doctors are overlooking that I can maybe request for them to do tests on to see if that could be what's wrong.

19:02🔗 Adam It's an excellent way to think about it. It's called oscillarian thinking, where you try to put all the different problems under one diagnostic umbrella. In other words, the probability is that a person is going to have one major problem, not two or three unusual problems.

19:15🔗 Drew Right. Let me explain to everyone. Drew is a mediocre doctor and he's no genius. So if your people can't figure out what this one is, certainly Drew is not going to be able to do it over the radio. Drew?

19:26🔗 Adam Thank you. I don't think that's resounding in Dorothy.

19:28🔗 Drew Thank you.

19:29🔗 Adam But I'm not quite done with her yet.

19:30🔗 Drew Oh, for Christ's sake.

19:31🔗 Adam Were you doing drugs or anything when you were pregnant? And did they ever do any kind of work up like that, where they tried to put it under one diagnostic category? Any pediatricians do that? Not cardiologists, but pediatricians?

19:43🔗 Caller No. His pediatrician really has not seen him throughout any of that.

19:47🔗 Adam Okay. And what is the kidney problem now?

19:49🔗 Caller The right kidney is two and a half centimeters smaller than the left kidney.

19:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

19:55🔗 Caller And it's not working at full function as the left kidney.

20:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:00🔗 Caller And he's also urinating blood.

20:04🔗 Adam Oh boy.

20:05🔗 Caller And he's been urinating blood for about a year.

20:08🔗 Adam And they haven't done any testing on that?

20:11🔗 Caller I've taken urine samples every...

20:14🔗 Adam Has he seen a urologist?

20:15🔗 Caller He sees one regularly.

20:16🔗 Adam Urologist?

20:17🔗 Uh-huh.

20:17🔗 Caller A pediatric nephrologist actually is what he has.

20:20🔗 Adam And what do they call his diagnosis?

20:22🔗 Caller They still say that it's unexplained as to why there's blood in his urine. We're going to do another urine test the next two days.

20:30🔗 All right.

20:31🔗 Drew All right. Hold on. Listen, I don't mean to be cruel, but we're not going to solve this.

20:35🔗 Adam Here's the thing. She's getting adequate care. Lots of it.

20:37🔗 Drew She's going to many specials.

20:38🔗 Adam She's done a good job with that. There's nothing that jumps out as a diagnostic category that covers all the bases here, but it doesn't matter because each of them, in this situation, requires its own specific interventions.

20:49🔗 Drew Aren't some people just lemons?

20:52🔗 Adam Some people have developmental disorders. They tend to have more than one, like kidney and ear and heart and other areas. So yeah, that's what we got here.

21:01🔗 Drew Yeah. I mean, I don't want to be cruel, but some people just aren't as durable and don't develop as well.

21:09🔗 Adam They aren't developed normally. There's nothing. She's right, though. There are certain genetic categories or sort of conditions that would...

21:20🔗 Drew Drew, go back on the sofa and go to sleep.

21:22🔗 Adam I think I need to. I do.

21:23🔗 Drew Jackie, you're 25?

21:25🔗 Caller Yes.

21:26🔗 Drew You think you got a hemorrhoid from rough vaginal sex?

21:30🔗 Caller Yes.

21:30🔗 Is that possible?

21:31🔗 Yikes.

21:33🔗 Drew Vaginal sex?

21:34🔗 Caller Yes. Swear to God.

21:35🔗 Drew Wow. That was rough.

21:37🔗 I know.

21:37🔗 Drew What happened?

21:39🔗 It was a good night.

21:41🔗 Drew Was this your husband?

21:42🔗 Boyfriend.

21:43🔗 Drew Wow. That was the old Vengeance F. He was really working you. What's that?

21:49🔗 I've been away for the summer.

21:51🔗 Drew I see. Yeah. I love it when guys do that. They try to squeeze it all in.

21:55🔗 Adam Make up for lost time.

21:56🔗 Drew Well, it's like you were gone for three months. We would have had sex once a week for the three months. It says 12th of 4th, 5th. All right. I'm going to bang the bejesus out of you for about an hour and a half. That you got a hemorrhoid?

22:09🔗 Adam Yes, it's possible.

22:10🔗 Explain to me.

22:11🔗 Adam How?

22:11🔗 Drew I nailed this chick so hard once vaginally, my penis poked out of her ass.

22:16🔗 It did not.

22:16🔗 Drew Absolutely. True story.

22:19🔗 Adam But you're irritating that whole area and it can flame the perineum and that can get over. If you already had hemorrhoid, it probably wouldn't cause hemorrhoids, but if you're already prone to them, it could stir that all up.

22:29🔗 It's never happened before.

22:30🔗 Drew Yeah. A lot of stuff that never happens before happens. Do you know what I mean?

22:37🔗 Yeah.

22:37🔗 Drew All sorts of stuff, pregnancies, death.

22:40🔗 Adam Everything.

22:40🔗 Drew Everything that's never happened that does happen.

22:43🔗 Adam Is what happened.

22:43🔗 Drew It's never happened before. Theoretically. I want to get too philosophical in the show, but it does, things that never happen eventually happen or they don't happen.

22:53🔗 Caller I didn't mean it's never happened, but you're saying I was prone, someone was prone to hemorrhoids.

22:57🔗 Adam You may have been prone, but not known it too.

23:00🔗 Drew Oh, she, you know when you're...

23:02🔗 Adam No, but she's 25. You're not popping out hemorrhoids regularly as a young adult. No, I've never had them before.

23:07🔗 Caller That's why I was concerned. Now I'm making sure that's what it was.

23:10🔗 And that was the only thing that could have been different between last night and today.

23:13🔗 Drew It could be a carbuncle.

23:15🔗 Adam Yeah, it needs to be checked out.

23:16🔗 Drew No, it does not. Listen, but first off, if you're the roid queen, you know by 25, A number one.

23:23🔗 Adam If you're the queen, but you may just be prone to them.

23:25🔗 Drew You just meet one of her handmaidens or something like that, the roid princess. Secondly, I'm 36 and proud to say I never had a hemorrhoid.

23:35🔗 Adam But you had a carbuncle.

23:37🔗 Drew I had a carbuncle on my ass that my buddy Ray convinced me was a hemorrhoid.

23:42🔗 Adam It's actually called a pararyctal abscess.

23:44🔗 Drew Whatever you want to call it, I call it pain.

23:47🔗 Adam Who called it a carbuncle?

23:48🔗 Drew Who called it a carbuncle? I think I looked it up.

23:52🔗 Adam It's a pararyctal abscess.

23:53🔗 Drew The point is, is my a-hole buddy Ray had me convinced it was a hemorrhoid.

23:58🔗 Adam He.

23:59🔗 Drew Because he had one.

24:00🔗 Adam Your a-hole buddy?

24:01🔗 Drew Speaking of a-holes, and so I rubbed a preparation H on it for a week, and all it did was hurt. Eventually, I got it. Let me tell you something. I am like, what was that show? Jane Laidlaw Frontier Nurse or what the hell was that show? Martha Quinn, Medicine Woman. Yeah, that's how I was. Before I had medical insurance, I do light surgery on myself. It was great. I get the pin out, dipping a little rubbing alcohol, shine the flashlight up my ass. I go to town. I couldn't afford medicine or doctors. I didn't have any insurance.

24:42🔗 Adam How much pus came out? Did it really come out under pressure?

24:45🔗 Drew It was like a... You ever seen gay porn? I did some gay porn in the late 70s. It was not pretty. I'll tell you, it was top... You know, like, there are those days when people go... They have those sort of pinnacle days where they go, the birth of my first son or the day I was married or the day I graduated from an Ivy League school or something. The day my ass exploded was... I know exactly where I... Jimmy and I went out for Mexican food that afternoon. It was like a celebration. They ordered a margarita. I've been walking with a limp for a week. Let me tell you something, when your asshole is on fire, it's funny. Oh, it's real funny, but it is not funny to you and your ass at all. I had to call him, I had to call him, I couldn't work. I couldn't walk.

25:47🔗 Adam For you, that's heartbreaking, not working.

25:49🔗 Drew Well, I was a boxing instructor at the time, so it was 20 bucks.

25:53🔗 Adam But he came out under pressure, I imagine.

25:56🔗 Drew It was wonderful. And like I said, I took care of myself. We didn't get the deposit back on the house, if that's what you're asking. The point is, as Drew says, go to a doctor all the time, I say, Lance it yourself. That's the way I operate. Turns the ladies on when they hear about me performing these medical procedures on myself. All right. I'm going to do some liposuction with a shop vac and a utility knife when I get home. Good. We'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

26:26🔗 You know what I'm saying out there?

26:27🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

27:00🔗 Drew It's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew and their phone number, 1-800-L-I-V-E-1-9-1. All right, there, Drew, you ready to go back to the phone?

27:10🔗 Adam I'm feeling much better. You know what's weird is, I get this weird thing when I start convincing myself I can't express myself and then I can't. I'm gonna have a block, I can't quite say what I wanna say, and then I don't. I had that in the Goddamn Big Brother tonight, I left a bunch of stuff behind I wanted to say just because I started freaking myself out.

27:30🔗 Drew Can't articulate yourself any better than that.

27:32🔗 Adam That's it.

27:33🔗 Drew Articulate should be an easier word to say. I imagine that happens a lot. You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

27:43🔗 Adam Articulate.

27:45🔗 Drew Listen, I ain't no college professor. No what? And let me tell you this too, I didn't work as an auctioneer for, you know, my job was carpet cleaning, construction.

27:57🔗 Adam Hey, we were talking about my ability to express myself, not yours, you're fine tonight.

28:01🔗 Drew I didn't, I never, I had jobs where I spoke.

28:05🔗 Adam You were told not to speak, weren't we?

28:06🔗 Drew Well, I was told not to speak when I was in school, and then when I got into carpet cleaning, I just worked with Latin guys.

28:11🔗 Adam You couldn't speak, the machine was too loud.

28:13🔗 Drew And then when I got into construction, I worked with Latin guys and dumb guys, so it was hard to talk there, too.

28:18🔗 Adam But they were so busy yelling at you that you never talked.

28:21🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, we were too busy listening to Leonard Skinner and the Eagles. Lewis?

28:28🔗 Caller Hello?

28:28🔗 Drew Year 16?

28:30🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

28:30🔗 Drew What's up?

28:32🔗 Caller My girlfriend just had a baby on June, July 25th, and the baby got thrush. And I'd like to know if I can get it in my mouth.

28:43🔗 Adam No, that's something that newborns get and very old people get. Sometimes people on antibiotics and people with impaired immune systems. It's a Canada. It's some of the yeast that lives in your mouth normally that just over grows when your immune system isn't functioning normally.

28:58🔗 Drew Hey, Louis?

28:59🔗 Caller Yeah?

29:00🔗 Drew How old's your girlfriend?

29:01🔗 Caller Seventeen.

29:02🔗 Drew All right. Can you not have any more kids for a little while?

29:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:05🔗 Drew Like maybe 10, 15 years?

29:07🔗 Yeah.

29:08🔗 Adam You can smoke a little less pot?

29:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:11🔗 Drew Hey, Louis? You know when you turn on the news and you see all these idiots doing dumb things?

29:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:18🔗 Drew And they're getting in high-speed pursuits.

29:21🔗 Adam Wednesday night. You know about that?

29:23🔗 Drew Yeah. They're killing people and they're fugitives from justice and stuff like that. You know where most of these people come from?

29:32🔗 Caller No.

29:32🔗 Drew Bad parents.

29:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:34🔗 Drew Yeah. So you don't want your kid, is it a girl?

29:38🔗 Caller No, it's a boy.

29:39🔗 Drew Okay. Now I'm moving. You don't want your kid to be on the news in 15 years, do you?

29:45🔗 Caller No, I don't.

29:46🔗 Drew Okay. Remember that. Now here's the deal, Louis. There's a direct correlation between the kind of father you are and whether the kid's on the news or not. And don't screw that up because I'm going to hold you responsible. All right. All right. So stop smoking so much weed. It's daddy time. All right. Just for another 18 years or so. All right. All right. There you go. Michael?

30:10🔗 Caller Hi.

30:11🔗 Drew You're 15.

30:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:13🔗 Drew Yeah. Listen, I'm telling you, when I'm in charge. Our last caller, Anna's woman, there would be an intervention and they'd be sterilized. I would look at them as threats to the state. Enemies of the state.

30:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:26🔗 Drew Quite easily. Just like, hey, you get a DUI, you get your license suspended. Your insurance goes up. There's all sorts of things that happen to you.

30:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:37🔗 Drew You know what I'm saying?

30:37🔗 Adam When you don't behave responsibly.

30:39🔗 Drew Yeah. You stepped out of line. Society had a few guidelines. Not driving drunk was one of them. You got popped. Now, you lose a few privileges, and your insurance rates are up for another seven years or three years or whatever it is. There's points on your driver's record. If you get popped again, there's bigger consequences. You have to attend this or that. Now, you guys tell me what's worse. Getting popped for DUI or having a kid when you're 16. From a societal standpoint, you tell me.

31:14🔗 Adam I agree with you.

31:15🔗 Drew Why don't we step in? Why isn't there anything for that?

31:19🔗 Adam Well, at least we're creating...

31:21🔗 Drew No, we're not.

31:21🔗 Adam We've undone the incentives to go ahead and have kids when you're 15.

31:24🔗 Drew We have?

31:25🔗 Adam Well, the welfare and all that stuff.

31:27🔗 Drew Well, good. Slow it down. And listen, you pussy politicians, you start doing something. Would you start talking about this, you big sack of wussers, cowards, Michael?

31:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:39🔗 Drew What's up?

31:41🔗 Caller I'm totally straight, but sometimes I'm having like fantasies about men and porn.

31:47🔗 Adam You're gay.

31:48🔗 Drew Yeah. She's totally may not be the right word. Semi-straight? Yeah.

31:57🔗 Adam He's bisexual. I understand, Michael. Those are all drops that Anderson is-

32:02🔗 Drew No, they're not. That was David Alan Greer popping into the studio. Michael? Yeah. How do you know? Oh, that was Andy Dick?

32:11🔗 Adam Andy Dick, yeah.

32:13🔗 Drew I knew that. Why do you think you're fantasizing about men and gay porn?

32:18🔗 Caller It's not gay porn. It's regular porn.

32:21🔗 Drew Oh, you're just looking at the guys?

32:23🔗 Caller Both.

32:24🔗 Drew Yeah, all right. Well, that's all right. I don't hold a hand over one eye and try to block the penis out either.

32:31🔗 Adam He's kind of aroused by that, though.

32:33🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah, right. There's a woman in there. Fine. You may think you're him.

32:38🔗 Adam Are you sexually active?

32:40🔗 Yeah.

32:41🔗 Adam How old were you when you started all this?

32:44🔗 Caller Masturbating?

32:45🔗 Adam No, no. Having sex.

32:48🔗 Caller I started like two years ago.

32:51🔗 Adam At 13?

32:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:52🔗 Adam Did you do anything before that?

32:55🔗 Caller No.

32:55🔗 Adam Nothing ever happened to you before that?

32:57🔗 Caller No.

32:58🔗 Drew Yeah. Let me ask you a question, Michael.

33:00🔗 Caller Yeah?

33:01🔗 Drew When you watch Born, do you picture yourself as the guy, or are you just watching?

33:10🔗 Caller Watching, yes.

33:12🔗 Drew Okay.

33:13🔗 How gay are you?

33:14🔗 Adam I think he's just got a lot of confusing impulses, because at 13 he's being bombarded with stuff that...

33:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:20🔗 Adam I mean, think about what these kids are exposed to.

33:22🔗 Drew Oh, who knows? Who knows what the hell my brain... Well, look at me. I'm a mess as it is. If I had the Internet, if I had... I mean, oh my God, was I deprived of porn when I was a kid. First off, I found a old black and white crumpled up newspaper picture from one of those. Here was the most readily available porn when I was growing up. They had these newspapers. They were like called Star or Hollywood Star or something like that. You remember those? They'd be on...

33:53🔗 Adam Newsstands.

33:54🔗 Drew Not newsstands, out of newspaper vending machines out on the street. I didn't have a quarter or 50 cents to get it, but those machines, if you bought them real hard and yanked simultaneously, one out of every 300 hits, you could pop the thing open. Meaning there was some latch mechanism and if you slammed it, the thing would pop up for a beat and if you yanked on it, at the same time, you get those things right open. Anderson, you ever do that? You didn't do that?

34:24🔗 Yeah, but it was for like the Wall Street Journal.

34:25🔗 Adam Oh, oh.

34:27🔗 Caller And it was LA Express was the big one.

34:28🔗 Drew LA Express was the big one, right. And those are the magazines that are like, they're actually newspapers, they have a color picture, but everything's black and white in there and there's a whole bunch of like transvestite advertisements and stuff. Those were the ones where the stars were on the chick's nipples. And I'd bang that thing and I think that's why I had to have hand surgery actually from whacking on those machines trying to get at porn. And it's really, it's like torture. It's like putting a pork chop in a loose site container and put it in front of your dog, you know? I'm about 12, 13 years old and like scratching on this thing, chewing on it, trying to get into this. Like there's the porn if I could just get past this. So, you know, I get the magazine. Anyway, I had like an old black and white picture of Adrienne Barbeau with her top off. It was black and white. She was topless.

35:15🔗 Adam Tiny?

35:15🔗 Drew Tiny picture. Yeah, it was wallet size and I found it on the street. It was crumpled up. You built a shrine. That's what I used. That's you know, that was it. That's all I had. And then later on, my buddy Ray, his older brother got hold of a porn, had a John Holmes film, 16 millimeter, no, 8 millimeter, 8 millimeter, black and white. And I held that thing up to the light, black and white. And let me tell you guys something. 26 millimeters and an inch. 8 millimeters is smaller than 3 eighths of an inch.

35:52🔗 Adam It's like this.

35:53🔗 Drew It's a quarter of an inch. The thickness of this pen is, is, is 8 millimeters. John Holmes penis is still bigger than mine. Even, even at this, at this gage. But I would hold that thing up. These are the stories I'm going to tell my child when they complain about pornography.

36:11🔗 Adam Did you have a jeweler's loop or anything?

36:12🔗 Caller No.

36:15🔗 Drew You want to talk about pathetic. And I'm still a mess.

36:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:19🔗 Drew God knows what kind of shape I'd be in if I was looking at, you know, Asian stump porn on the Internet, full color movement and like a 3D graphic realism, you know? Oh my God.

36:31🔗 Adam All right.

36:31🔗 Drew We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Sarah 13. Big boobs and guys at school are teasing her. Let's know how to deal after this.

36:41🔗 Adam Hello?

36:42🔗 Caller Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

37:21🔗 Drew Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. There's a whole bunch of good looking women in the next room tonight. I can't account for all of them. Anderson?

37:36🔗 Adam What's he doing?

37:37🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

37:37🔗 Adam He's turning the lights off so you can't see him there.

37:40🔗 Drew Why is there like, what is it, the ladies night here at Loveline?

37:44🔗 Caller Oh, it's not Tuesday?

37:45🔗 Drew Oh, what, it's Tuesday ladies night?

37:47🔗 Caller No, no, it's Wednesday.

37:48🔗 Adam Wednesday.

37:48🔗 Drew Wednesday is the ladies night. Yeah. Who is everybody? We have Colleen who works with Dr. Drew now working on a new TV show.

37:57🔗 Adam Yep.

37:57🔗 Drew Right?

37:58🔗 Adam She's one of your people, right?

38:00🔗 Drew Yeah. Colleen worked on the Man Show, although I just recognized her, someone I recognized but I didn't know who, uh-oh.

38:08🔗 Adam What?

38:09🔗 Drew Old engineer Dooley is coming to the studio and sort of tipped the scales for the gents.

38:15🔗 Caller Come here and give me a hug.

38:18🔗 Drew Yeah. All right. Who else? Anderson, who are all the women in the studio tonight? I don't know.

38:26🔗 Caller A couple of my friends were across the street and they came by to say hi.

38:28🔗 Drew Jesus. Where do you get such good looking friends?

38:31🔗 Caller Um, I don't know.

38:34🔗 Drew You. You.

38:38🔗 Caller They listen to the show and they realize what a nice guy I am.

38:40🔗 Drew All right. After they hear you. Anderson likes the beautiful people. Sarah. Oh, Sarah.

38:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:46🔗 Drew You're 13.

38:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:48🔗 Drew How big are your boobs?

38:49🔗 Caller Um, very big. They're like C.

38:52🔗 Bouncy, bouncy.

38:53🔗 Drew C.

38:54🔗 Caller C. C.

38:57🔗 Drew C.

38:59🔗 Caller C.

39:00🔗 Drew C.

39:02🔗 Caller Okay.

39:04🔗 Drew Okay.

39:06🔗 Caller Okay.

39:07🔗 Drew So they're C.

39:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:08🔗 Drew Yeah. How tall are you?

39:10🔗 Caller 5'2.

39:11🔗 Drew 5'2. How much do you weigh?

39:13🔗 Caller Um, around 115 pounds.

39:15🔗 Drew I see.

39:16🔗 Adam What are they teasing? What are they saying?

39:17🔗 Drew C is not huge. It's big for a 13-year-old, but not huge overall.

39:22🔗 Adam What are they saying?

39:23🔗 Caller Um, they're showing me things like ask like for milk and like to touch them and stuff like that.

39:31🔗 Adam Now, why don't you tell somebody they're touching you in ways you don't want them to?

39:34🔗 Caller Well, because I don't, because they'll just think I'm overreacting. They'll be like, no, I'm just saying.

39:39🔗 Adam No, no, no. If they're touching you, especially in what your parents told you, or your private places.

39:46🔗 Drew Your naughty parts?

39:48🔗 Adam That is way, way over the line. And I think you need some protection.

39:54🔗 Caller Yeah, but like, everybody will just think I'm like just some wuss. Like, I don't want to.

39:59🔗 Drew All right. Well, listen, what do you want us to do then?

40:01🔗 Caller I don't know. But like, I can't really tell a counselor, though. I don't like, really feel like I could like talk to them about that.

40:10🔗 Drew Sure you can.

40:11🔗 Adam Why couldn't you?

40:11🔗 Drew Sarah, next time someone does something, just go over to the counselor, all right?

40:15🔗 Adam Counselors go to wherever.

40:16🔗 Drew Oh, shut up. I don't want everyone to get. Drew tells everyone to go to the police. I called 911 the other night for the first time in my entire life. You did? For what? I was driving into work and I saw a car accident. And it looked like a pretty bad wreck. It happened as I was driving past. Yeah. A better man would have stopped. It was funny. The 911 operator was like, is everyone okay? I was like, I don't know. Aren't you there? And I'm like, no, I just passed.

40:45🔗 Adam There's always like a 14 minute wait to get them to answer the phone. You get these instructions in Spanish, right?

40:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

40:53🔗 Adam That's not busy. That's normal.

40:56🔗 Drew Yeah. That's a bad sign, by the way, when you get the instructions in Spanish before you get the English. And by the way, yeah, it was busy. And I thought to myself, oh, for Christ's sake, I swear to God, when I'm in charge, what was my limit on 911 calls? You get three a lifetime. Yeah. That's it. There's people are they're way into the teens with these things. And listen, all you wives out there that are being battered by your drunken husbands, call 911 the first time. Second time, you move out. That's it. Or shoot him or something. The cops aren't marital counselors. Oh, my God. Oh, getting called. Oh, what I think about what I don't get for my tax dollar are going insane, Drew. Do you understand me? And listen, all you people who are tired of hearing me complain can kiss my hairy, carbuncle, riddled ass. I got trouble spitting out riddled. Jeff?

41:55🔗 Adam Abscess.

41:56🔗 Drew Thank you. You're 27.

41:58🔗 Caller That's right.

41:59🔗 Drew What's up?

42:00🔗 Caller I talked to you back in February. It was actually right around my birthday.

42:04🔗 Drew Oh, that's right.

42:06🔗 Caller A couple of buddies of mine have this thing that they do in Vegas. We were going to Vegas for my birthday. And they all, they do this big gag where they take one of the casino cups where the change that you collect goes in. They take it in the bathroom and they take a dump in it. Then they sprinkle nickels on the top of it and leave it by a machine and wait for someone to jam their hand down in there and then they climb on and laugh and stuff. And I, I mean, so I called in and, you know.

42:32🔗 Drew Yeah, that's good.

42:33🔗 Adam It's good.

42:34🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, personally, you know, it's kind of funny, but.

42:37🔗 Drew Yeah, I think it's funny.

42:38🔗 Adam Do you laugh and then run? I mean, don't people react to this?

42:42🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, you know, it's usually, you know, old people and stuff and they just, you know, what are they going to do? They get out, they don't do it because they know they're staying at. But the whole thing.

42:52🔗 Drew All right, well, you don't ask where you gamble, as my grandfather used to tell me.

42:57🔗 Caller Well, let's see, now they're going to a whole new level with this. And what they want to do is, instead of going in the cup.

43:04🔗 Drew Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, I know. They actually eat a roll of nickels and then pass those into the cup. So it's actually embedded in the poop.

43:11🔗 Adam In the stool, yeah.

43:12🔗 Drew You think? Is that what it is?

43:13🔗 Caller No, not quite.

43:15🔗 Drew Well, look at these two.

43:16🔗 Caller They want to get it in a napkin or like a paper towel or something and sneak it into the buffet and then like put it in some of the spaghetti or the pudding or something.

43:25🔗 Adam Oh my god.

43:29🔗 Drew I got a better plan. Why don't they just make a big ass bomb and have it go off in the casino? That way they can cover everyone with ass.

43:40🔗 Adam Did you ever go to the zoo?

43:42🔗 Drew The zoo?

43:43🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:44🔗 Yeah.

43:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:44🔗 Adam You ever stood outside like a chimpanzee cage or anything? Yeah.

43:48🔗 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

43:48🔗 Adam You see what they start doing there?

43:49🔗 Drew Do they make fun of you?

43:51🔗 Caller They throw it at each other and stuff.

43:53🔗 Yeah.

43:54🔗 Adam We're there. This is what's happened now. We're finally there as a society.

43:57🔗 Drew Hey, Jeff, listen to me. Listen to me, you screwball. I understand your friends have a fixation with poo. Lord knows I went through that phase. Maybe it was in high school was the problem. But even I passed through it. Pardon the pun.

44:12🔗 Adam Literally, yes.

44:13🔗 Drew And here's the deal. I don't mind some old folks getting a handful of Duke. That's funny to me. But crapping in the chocolate pudding. Yeah, making the S on a shingle, literally, is not a great plan. That people get sick. You could kill somebody. You understand? And I like to go to casinos and eat. So I don't want to be thinking about that next time I reach for a ladle of brown gravy. You understand me, you jackass? No, I agree. Listen, Jeff, Jeff, listen to me. You're 20, you're 27? Yeah. You gotta focus on getting laid. You understand? You know, it's not me. I'm, I'm containing again. They need to focus on getting laid, too.

44:57🔗 Adam You gotta work.

44:58🔗 Drew These are guys who aren't getting laid.

45:00🔗 Adam No kidding.

45:01🔗 Drew This is the kind of energy a man has when he's not getting laid.

45:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:05🔗 Drew Women, you can prevent this. You understand? You just throw a little sex and all of a sudden they stop thinking about crapping in the salad bar.

45:13🔗 Adam It's that aggression again.

45:14🔗 Caller Well, I'm hoping now they hear you say it because you rule and we're all like, yeah, Adam would think it's funny. But I tell him, hey, look.

45:21🔗 Adam He would think it's funny.

45:22🔗 Drew Listen, you're talking to a guy who put a jacuzzi jet in his ass and squirted at his friend and thought it was funny. But even I won't crap in a salad bar.

45:32🔗 Adam You just throw poo water right on their head. Yeah, poo jacuzzi water.

45:38🔗 Drew It was a while ago, Drew. I don't remember exactly how it went.

45:41🔗 Adam That may be how you get your prayer rectal abscess.

45:43🔗 Drew Oh, for Christ's sake, I was in high school. What are you talking about? Hold on. How dare you?

45:49🔗 Caller How dare you?

45:54🔗 Drew I didn't get the double pump in before I try that again. How dare you?

46:03🔗 Caller How dare you?

46:05🔗 Wow.

46:07🔗 Drew That was like I should I should get an Emmy for that one. That was serious. You had like a triple pump at the beginning. And then my voice cracked a little as if I was crying at the second one. Anderson, can we hear that?

46:20🔗 Do you got that?

46:22🔗 Drew I mean, that was strong, Drew. Listen to this. I could be in a soap. I really could.

46:29🔗 Oh, how dare you?

46:33🔗 Caller How dare you?

46:38🔗 Drew Thank you, Kathleen. Yeah, you're twenty seven.

46:44🔗 Guest Yes.

46:45🔗 Drew You want to do my my other good soap line? Drew, I think you know what it is.

46:49🔗 Adam I don't even know you anymore, man.

46:51🔗 Drew Oh, you just you stepped right on it. I was going to deliver it. Go ahead, Kathleen.

46:57🔗 Guest Well, I was sexually abused when I was little by my brother. And in high school, every and afterwards, every time I was around a male and trying to have anything sexual, I like freak out and I couldn't talk.

47:15🔗 Drew How old is your brother? How much older is he than you?

47:18🔗 Guest He's seven years older than I am.

47:19🔗 Drew So, how old were you when this happened?

47:22🔗 Guest I was six to nine.

47:24🔗 Drew Six to nine and he's seven years older? Yeah. That's bad times.

47:30🔗 Adam The freak out, of course, is understandable when you're so badly traumatized. You sort of go back into that same place where you're paralyzed and powerless.

47:37🔗 Drew Did you have intercourse? Yeah. All right. Hold on a second, Kathleen, because we got to take a break. It's like I don't even know you, man. Yeah, that's my acting ability. Kathleen? Yeah. Yeah. Hold still, all right?

47:52🔗 Adam It's very subtle.

47:52🔗 Drew I'm going to take a little break.

47:53🔗 Adam Yeah, subtlety, Adam.

47:54🔗 Drew Yeah. Then we'll get back and figure out, your brother's having sex with you for-

47:59🔗 Adam Six years, four years.

48:01🔗 Drew Six to nine, she's had three years. Three years. I think I could make it. All right. We'll be back after this. It's Loveline, live and nationwide.

49:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

49:23🔗 Drew That's a good little piece of radio there, Drew.

49:25🔗 Adam Sure proud of yourself.

49:26🔗 Drew Yeah, I never get that little timing thing down there. Should work on that in my car. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, when we left off, we were speaking to Kathleen. She's 27, sexually abused by her brother from age six to age nine. Her brother's seven years older than she is, so he was 13 and 16. That is bad. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what's up with him. Kathleen?

50:00🔗 Guest Yeah.

50:01🔗 Drew Yeah. What happened to him?

50:05🔗 Guest Nothing that I know of.

50:06🔗 Adam Where did he end up? What's he doing now?

50:08🔗 Guest Oh, now? Now he's married and has a kid.

50:12🔗 Drew That's great. And what do you suspect happened to him to cause him to do this to you?

50:19🔗 Guest I have no idea.

50:21🔗 Drew Well, where was, you know, you think he was beaten or sexually abused or anything like that?

50:26🔗 Adam He had to have been sexually abused.

50:28🔗 Guest Really? I don't think he was beaten or anything. I don't know. He never said anything about it.

50:34🔗 Drew Yeah. What's it like now when you see him?

50:38🔗 Guest He's not speaking to me now.

50:39🔗 Drew Why not?

50:41🔗 Guest Because my therapist was going to...

50:46🔗 Adam Report it?

50:47🔗 Guest No. He was going to confront him on it. My brother says it's in the past not to worry about it.

50:54🔗 Drew Well, sure. It's not like he borrowed your car and put a dent in the fender or something. So that's it. No more contact. What about your parents? Do they know?

51:06🔗 Guest My mom just found out last year and my biological father just found out a couple months ago.

51:11🔗 Adam How do they deal with it?

51:13🔗 Guest My dad doesn't think... he thinks I'm lying because my brother could never do anything like that. And my mom says she thought something might have happened because I don't like being around people.

51:24🔗 Drew Yeah. And what was up with your mom that she didn't catch on to this?

51:29🔗 Guest My brother would do it when they went out for dinner because they used to go out to dinner every week.

51:37🔗 Adam But why didn't they catch on to the fact?

51:39🔗 Drew I know your folks weren't reading in the same room, but don't you think as a parent you would sort of know someone's being traumatized this way?

51:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:51🔗 Guest I guess they didn't figure anything out.

51:54🔗 Adam Well, look, now the way, these experiences in childhood send us 10 people in what are being called trajectories. Trajectories towards being shut down to sexuality or becoming hypersexual, sort of utilizing those arousal mechanisms as a way of sort of feeling okay about oneself again.

52:12🔗 Drew You married? Do you have any kids?

52:13🔗 Guest No.

52:14🔗 Drew And are you a lesbian?

52:18🔗 Guest I don't know.

52:19🔗 Drew You don't know? You don't know what you are?

52:21🔗 Guest No. I tried the sex thing again at the beginning of the year and I freaked out like I did when I was younger.

52:27🔗 Drew Yeah. So has your sexual career been sort of nil or have you been hypersexual?

52:33🔗 Guest No.

52:34🔗 Drew Just shut down?

52:35🔗 Guest Yeah.

52:36🔗 Drew Right. All right. So you're in therapy now?

52:39🔗 Guest Yeah. I've been in therapy for a couple of years.

52:41🔗 Caller Good. Yeah. All right.

52:42🔗 Adam You're doing what's right for yourself. It's fine.

52:44🔗 Drew It'll work out.

52:44🔗 Adam This will work itself out exactly. Just stay focused on finding a relationship. Don't worry about having a sexual experience right now.

52:50🔗 Guest OK.

52:51🔗 Adam OK.

52:52🔗 Drew How about other facets of life? You able to work? No.

52:56🔗 Guest I'm on disability for a major depression.

52:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

53:00🔗 Adam You on medication right now?

53:02🔗 Guest Yeah.

53:02🔗 Adam What are you taking?

53:03🔗 Guest Anaphronell, lithium, clonopin, and remeron.

53:09🔗 Adam OK.

53:10🔗 Drew And what do you get for disability these days?

53:15🔗 Guest About 600 bucks a month.

53:16🔗 Caller 600 a month? Yeah.

53:19🔗 Drew Can you live on that?

53:20🔗 Caller Barely.

53:22🔗 Drew Are you living at home?

53:24🔗 Guest No. I live in an apartment.

53:25🔗 Drew All right. What do you do all day?

53:29🔗 Guest Watch TV and just stay home.

53:31🔗 Drew Yeah. That's what I do too. How's that going? You know, they say the devil makes work for idle hands. Does that happen to you?

53:41🔗 Guest No.

53:41🔗 Drew You're not building bombs or anything?

53:43🔗 Guest No.

53:45🔗 Drew What's your routine like for you? What time do you get up in the morning?

53:48🔗 Guest I usually get up around 11 because I stay up until like 4 or 5 in the morning.

53:53🔗 Drew Right.

53:53🔗 Adam Why so late?

53:55🔗 Drew You get depressed and you don't have to be anywhere in the morning. You just start doing that.

53:59🔗 Guest Watching TV and sometimes I can't sleep.

54:02🔗 Drew Yeah. Then what? You get up at 11, what do you do?

54:08🔗 Guest Go to the library and work on the Internet for a little bit, and then come home and watch TV all night.

54:13🔗 Drew I see. How about getting a little exercise?

54:17🔗 Guest Yeah.

54:18🔗 Drew Make you feel good. You got to start going for walks.

54:20🔗 Adam Or even find some projects, some sort of community service or something you could find ways of getting a sense of worth in yourself. It's a way to contribute, to be of service.

54:30🔗 Drew Let me tell you, you guys want to know a way, cheap and easy way to make yourself sane? Classical music and walking.

54:39🔗 Adam The Corolla method.

54:40🔗 Drew There you go.

54:40🔗 Adam How about going like to some-

54:42🔗 Drew Now start walking.

54:43🔗 Adam Community service and something.

54:44🔗 Drew Drew, you heard me. Start walking, you mother of her.

54:46🔗 Adam Serve food at the mission or something.

54:49🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no. Force yourself to listen to classical music and walk. You'll get healthy and drink a lot of water. I'm telling you. And you know what's cool about classical music?

55:08🔗 Adam What?

55:09🔗 Drew It makes whatever you're doing seem important. Like even when you're home-

55:13🔗 Adam Grand.

55:14🔗 Drew Yeah. It's like your home, you're doing a load of laundry, but you got some classical music in the background. It's like a scene from a movie. It really is.

55:23🔗 Adam Jazz, I think, that will help.

55:25🔗 Drew Now that just makes you do stuff faster. TJ?

55:29🔗 Hello.

55:29🔗 Drew You're 17. What's up?

55:31🔗 Caller Adam, Drew, it's an honor to talk to you guys.

55:33🔗 Drew It's good to talk to you, TJ. What's up?

55:35🔗 Caller Couple things real quick. I made up the call to talk to you guys because I'm, you know, Drew, you're a genius. Adam, not only are you literally a millionaire.

55:43🔗 Drew Literally?

55:44🔗 Caller Literally. Yeah, whatever. And mayonnaise all the way.

55:48🔗 Drew That's my main main mayonnaise.

55:50🔗 Caller Word. I was wondering a couple of things. Could we get Taboo 2 on later tonight?

55:55🔗 Drew Oh, it's request night.

55:57🔗 Adam There it is.

55:58🔗 Drew Now, would you like to just hear the theme or shall I sing to it?

56:02🔗 Caller I want you singing.

56:03🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

56:04🔗 Adam Can we get that over with now?

56:05🔗 Drew Taboo 2. Well, hold on. He has requests. I'm going to write these.

56:09🔗 Adam This is an all-request love line.

56:10🔗 Drew Write these down. Yeah, we should do an all-request or the best of when we don't have a guest. All right, so Taboo 2 with me singing.

56:17🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, all the way.

56:18🔗 Drew All right.

56:19🔗 Caller Put some gut into it.

56:20🔗 Drew Yeah, okay. I'm going to sell it this time. You're doing good radio, Adam. And what else would you like to hear?

56:26🔗 Caller Well, I mean, the good radio, that love line nationwide, I like that.

56:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

56:31🔗 Caller It's got a certain ring to it.

56:32🔗 Drew Oh, we appreciate that. But do you have any other requests for tonight?

56:36🔗 Caller I really don't. I was wondering if we could get an autograph or something. Is that possible?

56:39🔗 Drew How does that work, Drew?

56:41🔗 Adam I don't know how they get those. Daniel's coming in here in a second to get me some coffee.

56:44🔗 Caller Also, I bought you guys' book, The Survival Guide to Love and Life.

56:47🔗 Drew Oh, you did?

56:47🔗 Adam You can send that in and we'll send it back to you.

56:49🔗 Caller I can do that?

56:50🔗 Adam Send it with what, a self-addressed stamped envelope or something?

56:53🔗 Drew Yeah, send it with an envelope and enough postage to get it back to wherever you are and then we'll sign it and say something nice and then we'll send it back to you.

57:01🔗 Caller Excellent. Also, Adam?

57:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

57:02🔗 Caller The back to school edition of The Man Show.

57:05🔗 Drew Yes.

57:05🔗 Caller Work of Art.

57:06🔗 Drew Oh, thank you. I'm trying to remember what was on that because I never get to watch The Man Show because I'm always here Sunday nights, 10 o'clock on Comedy Central by the way. But I know they had the back to school of Asians. One was just hiring an Asian child to do your bidding for you academically. But what the hell else was on that show?

57:28🔗 Caller You had the Man Show kid.

57:30🔗 Drew Man Show boy went on campus. Hey, babies. I love that kid. Homeschooled by the way.

57:37🔗 Caller The reverse turning bed after you get drunk.

57:39🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. It spins counter-clockwise.

57:42🔗 Adam Where are you calling from, DJ?

57:43🔗 Caller I'm calling from Tampa.

57:45🔗 Drew Thanks, DJ.

57:46🔗 Adam No problem. That's where a bug of the love sponge is from.

57:50🔗 Drew Everyone knows him. One of the manovations was you lie in bed after you're loaded, especially in college, you get the spins.

57:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:58🔗 Drew This bed turns counter-clockwise to the way you're spinning equals you out.

58:03🔗 Caller Hey, Adam, how many times have you talked about Loveline on the Man Show?

58:11🔗 Adam Never.

58:11🔗 Drew Never? Thank you very much.

58:13🔗 Adam No, no, thank you. My, don't be such a pussy.

58:18🔗 Drew Oh, that Man Show. All right. What is that name again?

58:24🔗 Adam Ariadna.

58:25🔗 Drew Ariadna.

58:26🔗 Guest Hey, what's up?

58:27🔗 Drew You're 16. What's up?

58:28🔗 Guest Yeah. I've been taking these fat-burning pills kind of things and protein powder and stuff.

58:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

58:38🔗 Guest And they just make me like I haven't had a period in like two and a half months. I'm like, I haven't felt really good. Like I have to go to the bathroom all the time.

58:47🔗 Adam Are you sure you're not pregnant?

58:48🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm not sexually active like at all.

58:51🔗 Adam And what's up?

58:52🔗 Drew You a big gal?

58:54🔗 Guest No, I don't like you've met me before. You met me at the X Games. I don't know if you remember.

58:59🔗 Drew Oh, you got a big set on you though, right?

59:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:04🔗 Drew Were we hugging?

59:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:05🔗 Drew Yeah, I remember you. Jesus, you're 16?

59:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:09🔗 Drew Holy Christ.

59:10🔗 Caller Really? How old do you think I was?

59:11🔗 Drew Drew, get my attorney. Do I have an attorney?

59:14🔗 Adam You do now.

59:14🔗 Drew Drew, get your attorney. Arianna, you were standing behind the barrier. I was doing some interviews. You were wearing a blue shirt.

59:25🔗 Guest Pink shirt.

59:26🔗 Drew A pink shirt?

59:26🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:27🔗 Drew I thought it was a boy. You were jumping up and down?

59:30🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

59:31🔗 Drew You have large breasts?

59:33🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:33🔗 Drew You were screaming my name?

59:34🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:35🔗 Drew And I kept like signaling to you, hold on, and then I'd do a bunch of interviews or something?

59:40🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:40🔗 Caller And then you came over and it was totally cool.

59:42🔗 Drew All right. But tell people, even though I'm a huge star and literally a millionaire, I came over there and found you after I was done with everything, didn't I?

59:51🔗 Guest You came over and you gave me a hug and you signed my test.

59:54🔗 What?

59:56🔗 Guest Freaking out.

59:56🔗 Adam 16.

59:57🔗 Drew Don't overdo it, baby. She looked 17.

59:59🔗 Guest He was fully getting interviewed and he didn't even-

1:00:02🔗 Adam She wants to tell you about her stool now. What was that?

1:00:05🔗 Drew Yes. I was being interviewed by some stations and I was talking like Entertainment Tonight with one of the survivor chicks or something like that. I can't remember what it was, or Sports Illustrated or something and Arianna was screaming, jumping up and down, yelling.

1:00:20🔗 Adam What are these diet pills?

1:00:24🔗 Guest Metabolase and total FF, fat burn.

1:00:29🔗 Adam So you're taking more than one.

1:00:30🔗 Caller Lichosamine, complex.

1:00:32🔗 Adam Why are you taking all that crap?

1:00:33🔗 Guest Because my mom takes me to this place that's like a health store kind of thing.

1:00:38🔗 Adam Yeah, but these chemicals are not good for you.

1:00:41🔗 Drew Why? You're 16, you're beautiful. I saw you.

1:00:43🔗 Guest No, I'm not.

1:00:44🔗 Drew Listen, I wouldn't have gone over there if you were homely.

1:00:49🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:00:50🔗 Guest My parents really like to drill it in to me and I understand I want to be healthy and like...

1:00:55🔗 Adam Yeah, well don't take so many chemicals then. Take balanced diet, exercise properly, take real food, stuff that grows in trees and the ground, and organic material.

1:01:05🔗 Drew I don't know, your parents are screwing you up. Why don't you move in with me? I'll raise you like a veal in the closet. We won't have sex until your 18th birthday.

1:01:14🔗 Adam The metabolite has got stimulant-like compounds in it and it can raise the dopamine levels in the brain and perhaps shut down your cycling. And you might be losing too much weight.

1:01:24🔗 Drew What is up with the fat-burning stuff? Or not the fat-burning stuff, the fat-attacking stuff?

1:01:32🔗 Adam We're not gonna absorb the fat?

1:01:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:01:34🔗 Adam Yeah, a little bit of something to that.

1:01:36🔗 Drew I mean, you know it works because they dump olive oil into a beaker and then they throw some of this in there and it soaks it right up.

1:01:42🔗 Adam Oh, sure.

1:01:42🔗 Drew On the other hand, if you put a tablespoon of kitty litter in the beaker, I imagine that would soak up some of the olive oil, too.

1:01:48🔗 Adam There are pharmaceutical products, Zennecal, that will actually do that. But... Now, how does that work? I'll tell you. Well, it binds fat. It's a fat-binder. But you know it works because what you hear next is...

1:02:00🔗 Drew Doesn't come out of your ass?

1:02:01🔗 Adam No. The next is the disclaimer about foul-smelling stool and abdominal cramps and all this stuff that actually happens when you don't absorb fat. It screws with the osmotic burden going into your colon, and it's a mess.

1:02:13🔗 Drew There's no free lunch in nature, so I have to say, Dr. Drew.

1:02:15🔗 Adam If it's actually working, you're going to have symptoms.

1:02:17🔗 Drew Let me ask you this. You eat a big, greasy plate of ribs, okay? And after you finish, you pop one of these pills...

1:02:27🔗 Adam Or just before, yeah.

1:02:28🔗 Drew Or just before. And a certain amount of the fat and the calories that go along with that fat are not absorbed into the body. They're sort of bound and just passed through you.

1:02:40🔗 Adam Right.

1:02:42🔗 Drew What percentage is it?

1:02:43🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:02:43🔗 Drew You have any idea?

1:02:44🔗 Adam No.

1:02:44🔗 Drew If you ate, let's say, eight ribs, would it be like eating three ribs?

1:02:50🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:02:51🔗 Drew You know, Drew? There's a lot of medical stuff, CCs, and all sorts of other units of measurement that the common man cannot understand. Let's use ribs.

1:03:02🔗 Adam Yeah, I think ribs are a good one.

1:03:03🔗 Drew Rib would be a good unit of measurement.

1:03:05🔗 Adam Rib and like strip of bacon. Right.

1:03:08🔗 Drew Yeah, so it's like you can eat five ribs and your body thinks you ate two and a half ribs.

1:03:14🔗 Adam It's on that order of fat absorption.

1:03:17🔗 Drew You just pop one after?

1:03:19🔗 Adam Well, no, they don't recommend you do that. Obviously, they actually recommend you restrict your fat intake because if you take a big fat burden and then take that pill, you're going to have a big problem. You're going to have gas and greasy stools.

1:03:31🔗 Drew Greasy stool?

1:03:32🔗 Adam It's coming out the other end.

1:03:34🔗 Drew That was the name of the punk band I was in in high school. You guys catch us?

1:03:39🔗 You were good.

1:03:40🔗 Drew Layden Logg was the name of our song.

1:03:42🔗 Adam Hope for Bad Company.

1:03:43🔗 Drew All right. Maybe I should sing the Taboo II theme. Anderson?

1:03:50🔗 Adam You got right on it.

1:03:51🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah, I think I may do that. I think it's been at least two days since I've sung. Now, mind you, Taboo II was one of my all-time favorite porn movies. Really one of the first ones I ever saw. My buddy The Wees, who had good parents and lived up in the hills, he had a VCR in his room. And you know how pathetic my life was? At 19, that was a coup. You understand? That I knew somebody who had a VCR that was in his room and I could watch Taboo II.

1:04:22🔗 Adam At 19? Let's see, I would have been like about 20.

1:04:26🔗 Drew Yeah, when I was 19, I think you were 43?

1:04:28🔗 Adam 24.

1:04:29🔗 Drew 24.

1:04:29🔗 Caller I see.

1:04:31🔗 Drew And Taboo II was one of the first movies I saw. And it has one of the greatest soundtracks ever.

1:04:37🔗 Adam I still think about VCR as like an innovation.

1:04:41🔗 Drew Taboo II is a movie about a guy named Junior who's not only banging his sister, but banging his mom. And they sat down and they wrote a song about this wonderful man known as Junior was raping his mom and sister. And it goes a little something like this.

1:04:57🔗 Adam They weren't raping them. They were delighted. The song tells the tale.

1:05:01🔗 Drew Here we go.

1:05:05🔗 Caller He has it all. Yes he does.

1:05:16🔗 Drew I'm gonna sell it, Drew.

1:05:25🔗 Caller And do it with style. Oh, he does it with me. Oh, yes, he does.

1:05:31🔗 Drew That's my favorite lyric.

1:05:37🔗 Adam This is actually your favorite coming out.

1:05:38🔗 Drew Yeah, I like this because I saw it.

1:05:40🔗 Caller Well, maybe you did, but you don't.

1:05:44🔗 Drew There's a whole movement that goes with that that you guys can't see.

1:06:18🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:06:20🔗 Adam Hell yeah.

1:06:21🔗 Drew You'd want him too if you only knew.

1:06:23🔗 Adam I mean, just think how our culture just fell apart during that decade.

1:06:27🔗 Drew Late 70s.

1:06:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:06:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Taboo II must have been 78, 79.

1:06:31🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm sure the people that put that film were serious about it too. It's like, oh, this guy, oh, they're all into it and they think it's the greatest thing.

1:06:37🔗 Drew Did you hear that woman? She was singing her guts out. That was probably a big break for her too. I wonder if they just found her out of the phone book and sat her down and talked to her. She was the producer's wife or something.

1:06:53🔗 Adam For The Man Show or something, you got to put together a taboo two reunion.

1:06:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:06:57🔗 Adam Get the cast, the grips. Yeah.

1:07:00🔗 Drew Like they do with family ties and good times and all these shows.

1:07:05🔗 Adam Mash.

1:07:05🔗 Drew Yeah. They get everyone together. See what Junior's doing. I'm guessing time hasn't been great to them. Jack?

1:07:12🔗 Adam No. I wouldn't be surprised if some were not alive.

1:07:15🔗 Drew Jack, you're 20.

1:07:18🔗 Caller Hello?

1:07:19🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

1:07:19🔗 Caller Oh, I'm just sleepy. I just take some sleeping pills.

1:07:23🔗 Drew You took some sleeping pills? Good. Did you do a little drinking too?

1:07:26🔗 Caller No, I don't drink. I don't like the taste of beer.

1:07:28🔗 Adam Why are you taking sleeping pills?

1:07:32🔗 Caller I don't sleep properly. I mean, I can't sleep really fast.

1:07:35🔗 Drew Right.

1:07:36🔗 Caller So I just take those Benadryl pills, those cheap ones from Costco, just buy them.

1:07:40🔗 Drew How do those Benadryls work? They good?

1:07:42🔗 Adam They'll make you drowsy.

1:07:43🔗 Drew Better than Tylenol?

1:07:45🔗 Adam Yes. PM, same thing, same thing.

1:07:47🔗 Drew Same thing?

1:07:48🔗 Caller Tylenol, PM, and that?

1:07:49🔗 Adam Yeah, same thing.

1:07:50🔗 Drew What if I take three of those? It will work better?

1:07:52🔗 Adam At a certain point, you'll start to get agitated.

1:07:55🔗 Drew Well, I think we've already passed that point.

1:07:57🔗 Adam Above 50, you would be in trouble, could be in trouble.

1:08:00🔗 Drew Should I take three?

1:08:01🔗 Adam Take two.

1:08:02🔗 Drew Okay. Jack? What happened to Jack? There he is. Jack, what's up?

1:08:08🔗 Caller I just wanted to know what I could get from giving oral sex.

1:08:13🔗 Drew To what?

1:08:14🔗 Caller To what?

1:08:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:16🔗 Caller To a guy.

1:08:17🔗 Adam You can get any STD that you can get through intercourse.

1:08:22🔗 Caller Okay, hold on. Okay.

1:08:25🔗 Drew Okay.

1:08:25🔗 Adam What was that?

1:08:27🔗 Drew I don't know. Do you think Jack could have been 20? Do you think Jack was gay? He was?

1:08:34🔗 Adam I think so.

1:08:35🔗 Drew You think so?

1:08:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:36🔗 Drew He didn't sound very gay.

1:08:38🔗 Adam Would you tune back in?

1:08:39🔗 Drew No. No. Anderson's had an ass full of Jack. That really sounded bad. All right. Victoria?

1:08:49🔗 Caller Yes.

1:08:49🔗 Drew You're 18?

1:08:50🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

1:08:51🔗 Drew Did you hear me sing Taboo 2?

1:08:55🔗 Caller Yes, I did.

1:08:56🔗 Drew What did you think? Be honest.

1:08:58🔗 Caller You were great.

1:08:59🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:08:59🔗 Adam Oh, please, Victoria. Be honest.

1:09:01🔗 Caller Thank you for being honest.

1:09:03🔗 Drew Go ahead. I appreciate your candor.

1:09:04🔗 Caller Go ahead.

1:09:04🔗 Caller It's a damn lie, and you know it.

1:09:07🔗 Caller I'm 18. I am two and a half months pregnant, and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend.

1:09:12🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

1:09:12🔗 Drew Did he get you pregnant?

1:09:13🔗 Caller Yeah, he did.

1:09:16🔗 Adam What's your plan?

1:09:17🔗 Caller Huh?

1:09:18🔗 Adam What's your plan?

1:09:19🔗 Caller My plan? I didn't expect to get pregnant.

1:09:22🔗 Adam No, when do you figure you'll tell him?

1:09:25🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:09:26🔗 I'm kind of scared to. I don't want him to leave me.

1:09:28🔗 Drew How old is he?

1:09:29🔗 He's 19.

1:09:30🔗 Adam If he is that much of a dick, that just finding out that you're pregnant would cause him to immediately abandon you, then you need to get this guy out of your life anyway.

1:09:40🔗 Caller Well, we planned to get married when we were much older, but...

1:09:43🔗 Adam Let me say it again.

1:09:44🔗 Drew All right. I already heard it. Hey, Victoria?

1:09:47🔗 Yes.

1:09:48🔗 Drew What were you using for birth control?

1:09:50🔗 Nothing.

1:09:51🔗 Drew All right. Well, maybe it's not going to come as a shocking surprise to him who was using nothing whilst he was humping you that he got you pregnant. What would you like to do?

1:10:04🔗 Tell him.

1:10:05🔗 Drew You would. All right. Well, why don't you do that?

1:10:06🔗 Adam You have to. You're going to anyway.

1:10:08🔗 Drew Well, you're going to have an abortion?

1:10:10🔗 Caller No.

1:10:10🔗 Drew What are you going to do?

1:10:12🔗 Caller I was thinking more of adoption.

1:10:14🔗 Adam Hey, see?

1:10:15🔗 Drew There you go.

1:10:16🔗 Adam Victoria's a genius.

1:10:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:18🔗 Caller I have a life.

1:10:19🔗 Caller I had a future.

1:10:20🔗 Caller Go to college.

1:10:21🔗 Adam Hey, you want your child to have one too. And there's lots of good parents out there that would love to raise the child.

1:10:26🔗 Yes. Yeah.

1:10:27🔗 Adam Well, but I'm more... Listen, just kudos to you for thinking about the child. I know it's a tough thing to do, but it's a great thing to do. But the problem I have is with this jerk that you're with, just the fact that he discovers that he's made you pregnant, which no duh, would cause him to leave.

1:10:45🔗 Drew Maybe he won't.

1:10:47🔗 Adam You know, that's the point. If he would leave, he needs to leave.

1:10:50🔗 Drew All right. So, Victoria, this will solve itself.

1:10:53🔗 Adam Exactly.

1:10:54🔗 Drew Okay. If he leaves, you don't want to be with him.

1:10:56🔗 Adam Right.

1:10:57🔗 Drew It's sort of like the club that would accept Drew as one of its members. He wouldn't want to be in that club.

1:11:03🔗 Adam That's right.

1:11:03🔗 Drew You understand?

1:11:04🔗 Caller Yes.

1:11:05🔗 Drew All right.

1:11:05🔗 Caller That's a big help. Thank you.

1:11:07🔗 Drew All right, Victoria.

1:11:08🔗 Caller All right.

1:11:09🔗 Drew I've been doing this show for five years. No one has ever said you've been such a big help.

1:11:13🔗 Adam That was in two minutes.

1:11:14🔗 Drew And she liked my Taboo 2 rendition. There's another great song in Taboo 2 where it goes, gotta get it on, gotta get it on, gotta get it on, gotta get it on, gotta get it on, gotta get it on.

1:11:33🔗 Caller And it goes, feels so good. Whoa, whoa.

1:11:39🔗 Drew I mean, I'm not doing it justice. I mean, listen, you pick one of your favorite pop songs and sing it's going to sound stupid. But if you heard Gotta Get It On, I'm going to bring that movie in.

1:11:48🔗 Adam I've been moved to tears, I'm sure.

1:11:49🔗 Drew Bring the soundtrack on. I wonder if that's out on CD.

1:11:51🔗 Adam Oh, CD. Oh, huh, huh.

1:11:52🔗 Drew Well, that'd be great. Alas, the guy's from System of the Down. All right, we'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Michael, whose penis is curved. He wants to know how to straighten it after this. Yeah, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. All right, when we left off, we were talking about talking to Michael, whose penis is curved.

1:12:51🔗 Caller Michael?

1:12:53🔗 Yeah, how you doing?

1:12:54🔗 Drew Good.

1:12:55🔗 Caller First of all, I want to tell you guys, you do a great job. Adam, you are my leave. I love you.

1:13:00🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:13:00🔗 Caller You're the best, man. Yeah, I've got a-

1:13:03🔗 Adam Lusjenstein?

1:13:04🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

1:13:05🔗 Drew Is this Lusjenstein? No?

1:13:07🔗 Caller Something like that.

1:13:08🔗 Drew What's up?

1:13:09🔗 Caller Well, I have this upwards curvature in my penis, and I want to know if there was anything I could do about that.

1:13:16🔗 Adam Why is that?

1:13:17🔗 Drew How far up does it go?

1:13:21🔗 Caller Not really sure, maybe about an inch.

1:13:24🔗 Drew Well, let's put it this way. Let's say-

1:13:28🔗 Caller Here it comes.

1:13:28🔗 Drew Let's say I was looking at you profile, and you had an erection, which of course you would if I was looking at you in a profile.

1:13:36🔗 Caller Absolutely. All right.

1:13:38🔗 Drew Now, let's make your thigh 6 o'clock, and let's make your belly 12 o'clock.

1:13:46🔗 Caller All right.

1:13:46🔗 Adam Okay. The plane at each.

1:13:48🔗 Drew Yes. Now, if your penis stuck straight out, straight ahead of you, it'd be at 9 o'clock. But it is at what time?

1:13:59🔗 Caller I'd say probably 10.

1:14:01🔗 Drew 10 o'clock.

1:14:01🔗 Adam Is there somewhere along the way it takes a sudden curve from one direction or another?

1:14:05🔗 Drew Does it start heading for 7.15 and then abruptly go to 10?

1:14:10🔗 Caller It heads straight out about halfway, and then the rest of the way it's about 7 o'clock.

1:14:15🔗 Drew I'm sorry, 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock. Banana's up. It's a banana action. Nice.

1:14:20🔗 Adam It still sounds normal.

1:14:21🔗 Drew Yeah, that's fine. You're good. Yeah. It just makes you look more excited. It really does. I've seen porn movies with guys who had this. It's like-

1:14:31🔗 Adam Well, that must be where guys get this pre-action.

1:14:32🔗 Drew They have an extra erection. Someone tried to stuff too much sausage into the casing. That's what it looks like. You know what I mean?

1:14:41🔗 Caller I've asked girls about this before and they told me that it's a really good thing, but I haven't had enough experience to really know.

1:14:48🔗 Drew Yeah, it's sort of like whereas most penises erect, they're sort of like guys just standing around waiting for a bus. Michael's penis is like a military commander, military, undergoing inspection, the shoulders yank back, the chest thrown out forward, feet hands down. That's what I sort of picture that penis as.

1:15:10🔗 Adam That's nice. Quaint.

1:15:12🔗 Drew Really falling in love with this Michael. Jenny?

1:15:16🔗 Yep.

1:15:16🔗 Drew You're 19?

1:15:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:18🔗 Drew What's up?

1:15:19🔗 Caller I've got my hood pierced twice.

1:15:21🔗 Drew Your hood pierced twice?

1:15:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:24🔗 Caller And I want to know if it's going to affect me later?

1:15:30🔗 Drew No. But having the brain that gets your hood pierced twice is going to affect the rest of your life, you idiot. That's the real trauma. It's not the hood that's being pierced, it's the brain that walks the ass in the hood down to the piercing center. That's where the real trouble comes.

1:15:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:51🔗 Drew Because that brain, but hold on, that same brain, that's in charge of everything, not just hood piercing.

1:15:58🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:16:00🔗 Caller I mean, I just wanted to know if it was going to affect stimulation later.

1:16:05🔗 Adam Some people do complain that it's more sensitive for a while and then desensitizes.

1:16:09🔗 Drew What do you do for a living?

1:16:11🔗 Caller I actually work in a porn shop.

1:16:15🔗 Drew What happened to you?

1:16:17🔗 Caller Nothing really.

1:16:18🔗 Drew Come on. Someone must have done something to you.

1:16:21🔗 Caller No.

1:16:21🔗 Drew Come on.

1:16:23🔗 Caller Nothing at all.

1:16:23🔗 Drew How old were you when you lost your virginity? How old was the guy? How old was your uncle?

1:16:30🔗 Caller I was my uncle, but he was 22.

1:16:33🔗 Drew Grandfather.

1:16:33🔗 Adam All right, Jenny, now that you're a 19-year-old, can you imagine a 22-year-old with a 14-year-old?

1:16:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I know. It's kind of sick.

1:16:39🔗 Adam Well, yeah, it's abuse.

1:16:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:41🔗 Adam So you were sexually abused. You were raped at 14. Okay. So why were you open to that kind of victimization?

1:16:49🔗 Caller I don't know. I guess I just wanted to lose it. All my friends are older and they're always talking about it, I guess.

1:16:56🔗 Adam Typically, it would be somebody was hitting you or physically was real rough with you, with parents, that kind of thing. No. Nobody ever hit you when you were growing up?

1:17:05🔗 Caller No.

1:17:05🔗 Drew Well, if your dad was sober, he would have given you a good walloping.

1:17:09🔗 Caller My dad was early around, but-

1:17:10🔗 Drew He wasn't around?

1:17:11🔗 Caller No.

1:17:12🔗 Drew What a surprise.

1:17:13🔗 Caller My parents got divorced when they were like two.

1:17:14🔗 Drew All right. Let's talk about you working at the porn shop. I like it.

1:17:18🔗 Guest It's cool.

1:17:20🔗 Drew Oh, baby. You're scaring me with that laugh. You have to test the vibrators before you hand them out, right?

1:17:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:28🔗 Drew There's no returns on a vibrator.

1:17:30🔗 Caller Right. No returns on anything.

1:17:32🔗 Drew So they got to pop the batteries in and get that baby crank it up.

1:17:36🔗 Caller That's right.

1:17:37🔗 Drew That's got to be an exciting part of the job.

1:17:41🔗 Caller It's actually not that bad because people that come in there, you know, they're in there for the same thing and... Right.

1:17:46🔗 Drew Yeah. Who are they kidding? So...

1:17:50🔗 Adam Doing a sociologic study on the behavior of primates and...

1:17:53🔗 Drew You pop a couple of batteries into that, the Badger Laviabuster series and fire that thing up. And now, do you just fire it up or you got to use it?

1:18:06🔗 Caller I don't use it. They do.

1:18:08🔗 Drew I see. But you don't actually have to put it into operation.

1:18:11🔗 Caller No.

1:18:12🔗 Drew You fire it up. You don't have to stick it up their ass or anything.

1:18:14🔗 Oh, my phone's...

1:18:16🔗 Adam Phone out of battery.

1:18:17🔗 Drew Oh, really?

1:18:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:19🔗 Drew All righty.

1:18:19🔗 Adam Convenient.

1:18:21🔗 Drew I should have fired that phone up before. You know what's weird about the phone? I only use the portable phone now.

1:18:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:29🔗 Drew Because I like to walk in circles when I talk.

1:18:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:31🔗 Drew Do you do that?

1:18:32🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:18:33🔗 Drew I just walk.

1:18:33🔗 Adam Pace, I pace.

1:18:34🔗 Drew Pace, pace, pace, pace, pace. Thankfully, my house is set up in a circle. And I'm like, you ever go to one of those big aquariums and you see the grouper swimming around in a circle? That's what I do when I get home. I walk through, in the entry hall, through the den.

1:18:54🔗 Adam I remember, was it?

1:18:55🔗 Drew In a big circle.

1:18:56🔗 Adam Midnight Express, when he was in the high security jail part, with all the people walking around that pillar.

1:19:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:02🔗 Adam Clockwork Orange.

1:19:03🔗 Drew Was that Clockwork Orange?

1:19:04🔗 Adam No, no, Midnight Express, too. I never saw Clockwork Orange.

1:19:07🔗 Drew All right. Oh, you didn't?

1:19:08🔗 Adam No. How dare you?

1:19:09🔗 Caller How dare you, sir?

1:19:11🔗 Drew I walk in a circle. Now, here's the thing about the phone. And so I have to have one of those portable phones. And here's the thing about the battery. It happened to me tonight. The battery will do this. When it's running low, it'll go beep, beep, beep. Sometimes it'll beep for 45 minutes before it cuts off. And then sometimes it goes beep, hup. And I'm thinking to myself, someone's got to establish a some sort of international, universal beep thing. So it's like, you know, 15 beeps. So that when you're at 12, you know it's like, hey, I got to pop on the other phone or whatever. I never know. I don't know if I'm going out on two beeps or 130 beeps. It's a very difficult life I have, Drew.

1:19:53🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:19:54🔗 Whatever.

1:19:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:19:55🔗 Whatever.

1:19:56🔗 Adam Whatever.

1:19:56🔗 Whatever.

1:19:57🔗 Adam Go ahead. Here we go.

1:19:59🔗 Drew Rick?

1:20:00🔗 Hey, what's up, guys?

1:20:01🔗 Drew You're 17. Rick, when you talk on the phone, do you pace? Do you walk in a circle?

1:20:05🔗 Caller All the time.

1:20:05🔗 Drew That's good. Why is that?

1:20:08🔗 Caller Hey, Adam?

1:20:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:20:09🔗 Caller Got to tell you when you sang Taboo 2.

1:20:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:20:11🔗 Caller Made me extremely horny.

1:20:12🔗 Drew Really?

1:20:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:14🔗 Drew Thank you. I'm going to sleep like a baby today.

1:20:18🔗 Caller But my real problem is that I have an undersized penis. It's not funny.

1:20:29🔗 Drew How big is it?

1:20:33🔗 Caller Like about five and a half.

1:20:35🔗 Drew That's average.

1:20:36🔗 Adam That's average.

1:20:37🔗 Drew Average is all that.

1:20:39🔗 Caller Birth-wise, well, when I try to put on a condom, it's a little baggy on it.

1:20:46🔗 Drew You have a little extra room?

1:20:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:47🔗 Drew But that's all the fashion these days, what the kids are wearing, right? Baggy condoms?

1:20:53🔗 Adam Should I have guns in there?

1:20:54🔗 Caller I was wondering, like, would I, if when I came, like, would it, like, go in?

1:21:00🔗 Adam It might slip off. Sure. It could slip off.

1:21:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:21:04🔗 Caller All right.

1:21:05🔗 Adam I'll be very careful.

1:21:06🔗 Caller All right.

1:21:06🔗 Caller And also, I was whacking off, like, crazy style the other day.

1:21:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:21:11🔗 Adam Like what?

1:21:12🔗 Caller Like, like, hard.

1:21:14🔗 Drew Yeah, hard.

1:21:14🔗 Caller Getting into it, you know?

1:21:15🔗 Adam Crazy style.

1:21:16🔗 Drew Crazy style whacking?

1:21:17🔗 Caller Yeah. Because, you know, I heard Adam seen Tabletoo.

1:21:20🔗 Drew Right.

1:21:20🔗 Adam CSW.

1:21:21🔗 Drew Thank you. Yeah. I had one of those crazy style masturbatory sessions the other night myself. Yeah.

1:21:27🔗 Adam You all right?

1:21:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:21:30🔗 Adam Do you keep, like, a suture kit handy?

1:21:32🔗 Drew In case I pull my penis off?

1:21:34🔗 Adam Absolutely. Fracture it.

1:21:37🔗 Drew I have to keep some duct tape and an ether rag nearby in case the pain becomes too great.

1:21:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:21:45🔗 Drew Hey, I want to tell you something. I thought about masturbating the other night and went to bed.

1:21:50🔗 Adam And went to sleep? Yeah. We need an MRI. I think you've got a brain tumor now.

1:21:56🔗 Drew Could be. Could be that or could be, you know how like cats know when they're going to die?

1:22:05🔗 Adam They do?

1:22:05🔗 Drew I don't know. People always tell you that. You know, they always say like animals like cats and dogs. I go, yeah, he knew he was going to die. So we went off into the woods and he died. You know, I always go, I think he got hit by a truck. Do you know, you know, like there's Indians, cats and dogs are supposed to know when they're going to die and then they just go off somewhere and die.

1:22:24🔗 Right.

1:22:27🔗 Drew This may be a sign for me.

1:22:29🔗 Okay.

1:22:30🔗 Drew I've never thought about masturbating and not actually masturbated. Other people think about masturbating, I masturbate. It may be one of those signs. Ivy?

1:22:41🔗 Yeah.

1:22:41🔗 Drew You're 23?

1:22:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:43🔗 Drew What's up?

1:22:44🔗 Caller I had a question for Dr. Drew. Okay. For the past about 10 months or so, about 10 months ago, they prescribed nanite as a present for me. This is the third type that I started taking about two months ago. Pretty much my question is this, can anything really bad happen if I decide on my own to just stop?

1:23:11🔗 Adam What's the medicine?

1:23:12🔗 Caller It's trazoderm.

1:23:14🔗 Adam Trazoderm is pretty mild, mostly for sleep, right?

1:23:16🔗 Caller No. Well, that's one of the bad side effects.

1:23:19🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Are you anxious? You have a lot of nervousness, panic attacks?

1:23:23🔗 Caller I just say, actually, it doesn't help as far as depression just makes me wake up with a headache.

1:23:28🔗 Adam Why don't you go back? The whole deal with, look, depression kills one out of five people that have depression, right? And if you were on insulin and your blood sugar wasn't well controlled, would you just stop the insulin?

1:23:41🔗 Drew Trick question, Ivy. Say no.

1:23:44🔗 Caller Okay, no.

1:23:44🔗 Adam Right? You go back to the doctor and get the right mix.

1:23:47🔗 Caller I know. I've been waiting for an appointment for like two months and he hasn't called me back yet.

1:23:51🔗 Drew So can she just stop?

1:23:52🔗 Adam Wait, wait, wait. He hasn't called you back?

1:23:54🔗 Caller No. He hasn't, like, a county thing and I have to wait for an appointment.

1:23:57🔗 Adam All right.

1:23:58🔗 Drew Can she just stop taking it?

1:24:00🔗 Adam There's no withdrawal from trazoderms. All right.

1:24:01🔗 Drew So stop taking it.

1:24:02🔗 Adam But the problem is-

1:24:03🔗 Drew And hey, I'll take it.

1:24:04🔗 Adam Your depression needs to be monitored better and managed.

1:24:07🔗 Drew Does it help you get sleep?

1:24:08🔗 Caller What?

1:24:09🔗 Drew Make you sleepy?

1:24:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:24:10🔗 Caller It makes me sleep, but not in a good way. I mean, it's not the sleeping pills. It's just- I don't like it. Anyway, okay, so- All right. Can it stop by- I mean, as far as depression, can it stop by itself? Like, let's say I quit using drugs and that triggered the depression. Can it go away after a certain time?

1:24:25🔗 Adam What drugs were you taking?

1:24:28🔗 Caller I was using heroin and cocaine.

1:24:30🔗 Adam No. You've got to be in recovery for that depression to go away. It will get worse.

1:24:33🔗 Caller Well, I was. I mean, this was almost- This was about two and a half years ago I stopped.

1:24:38🔗 Adam Are you practicing a program of recovery?

1:24:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:41🔗 Adam Do you talk to your sponsor every day?

1:24:43🔗 Caller I don't have one.

1:24:44🔗 Adam Then you're not practicing a program of recovery and your depression will get bad unless you are in actively engaged in recovery. So get yourself a sponsor, go to regular meetings and you will see that that will help manage your depression, sometimes dramatically, though typically-

1:24:55🔗 Drew You got to talk to every day to your sponsor?

1:24:57🔗 Adam If you've been a heroin addict, yeah, and you're severely depressed.

1:24:59🔗 Drew What a gig. Junkies calling you all day.

1:25:04🔗 Adam There's a certain amount of injury that occurs from some of these drugs too and can predispose you to chronic depression. If your sponsor feels that that's the case, then you do need to get back and make sure you're properly treated.

1:25:12🔗 Drew No.

1:25:15🔗 Adam We're taking a break.

1:25:16🔗 Drew No.

1:25:16🔗 Adam You all right?

1:25:17🔗 Drew Yeah. I was thinking, wow. I was thinking, I'm not depressed, but I'm like grouchy all the time.

1:25:23🔗 Adam That's irritable, depressed.

1:25:24🔗 Drew Is that what that is?

1:25:25🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:26🔗 Drew I yelled at my dad today because I was standing. I went out to lunch with him.

1:25:30🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:31🔗 Drew You know how you have it up to here with your parents?

1:25:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:34🔗 Drew But I'm this way with everybody.

1:25:36🔗 Adam No kidding.

1:25:37🔗 Drew I walk in a restaurant. I'm standing up in the restaurant so he could see me, because he had to go back in the car and get something or whatever. He walks into the restaurant, and instead of turning to the direction where all the tables and all the people are, he turns to the other direction where the bathrooms are, and he just faces that way for a while. Then he says to the person who's behind the counter, hey, have you seen this person? Anyway, when he came over, I was like, hey, Dick Weed, how about turning toward where the folks are? And I remember thinking like it was like I was yelling at one of my buddies. And I thought, geez, I shouldn't probably chewed on my dad that way. But why is he turning the other way? Was I right? You know what I'm talking about?

1:26:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:20🔗 Drew Yeah. You got this much for your parents? And they do that stuff? I told the cashier he was seen out.

1:26:26🔗 Adam God, nice.

1:26:28🔗 Drew All right. We'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll talk to Crystal, had a sexual encounter with another girl at eight years old. Oh, this is kind of... How old is your girl, Drew?

1:26:39🔗 Adam Seven.

1:26:39🔗 Drew Seven? When is she going to be eight?

1:26:41🔗 Adam November.

1:26:42🔗 Drew Where are you guys going? Paris? For Christ's sake, you're going to Legoland for the weekend. Where do you guys go for the birthdays with those kids? Europe? We're having a party in Europe? Well, do you use, like, a real piñata and stuff? You actually get a real burro and hang it up?

1:26:57🔗 Adam I'm having you come over again and flip burgers.

1:27:00🔗 Drew Oh, my God. Oh, Drew, let me tell you this, kids. One big letdown. One big letdown. That's what life will be after they move out of the house. Some crappy apartment with a toaster that doesn't work. Drew, you're building them up for a big letdown. You start, you get them some tough skins and a skateboard with some clay wheels on it, yank the cable out of the back of the TV, get rid of the Nintendo. You know what I'm saying?

1:27:26🔗 Adam Yeah. I'm listening. All ears.

1:27:28🔗 Drew And start beating them, okay?

1:27:30🔗 Adam Swatch? Big switch?

1:27:33🔗 Drew Yeah, big switch.

1:27:34🔗 Adam Swatch.

1:27:35🔗 Drew Like a gay watch. All right, we'll take a break.

1:27:39🔗 Caller Hello, what is it?

1:27:40🔗 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:28:09🔗 Drew I'm Adam Corolla, you're just done. Forget about the phone number. All right, let's go back to Boones and speak to Crystal, who is 21 years old. Crystal?

1:28:20🔗 Caller Hello.

1:28:21🔗 Drew You had a sexual encounter with another girl when you were 8 years old?

1:28:25🔗 Caller I was between 8 and 10, I guess, and we just were messing around. Of course, we were kids, so we didn't really know what we were doing, but...

1:28:31🔗 Adam Oh, no, no. She probably did. Some adult probably got to her.

1:28:34🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Drew has to think that way.

1:28:36🔗 Caller I don't ever know that. Once we hit an age of where we both started developing a lot more and all that, it stopped, and I didn't see her for many years.

1:28:44🔗 Adam Right. That's because she needed to stay attached to a child. Right. It's too scary to have another adult.

1:28:53🔗 Drew Okay. Wait a second.

1:28:55🔗 Caller She was the only one that had ever happened with. I'm not like, I mean, I think, you know, there's some women I can look at and go, yeah, she's pretty, but I would never want to have sex with another woman. Like I've had a boyfriend for five years, and I love him to death, but I don't know if it's affecting our sexual life because I'm not really like, I'm not into it, you know, I'm just not, and I never really have been, I've been very sexually active since I was like 14.

1:29:17🔗 Adam But you don't like it.

1:29:18🔗 Caller But I don't, and it's not that I don't like it, it's just that I don't, I'm not real into it. I mean, with certain people, it's just like-

1:29:23🔗 Drew Ironically enough, I've always been very much into sex, never got laid.

1:29:30🔗 Caller But I mean, I don't know if it's something that happened while I was younger because of that encounter that her and I had.

1:29:36🔗 Adam It definitely affects your sexual development.

1:29:38🔗 Drew Wait a minute, you say encounter.

1:29:41🔗 Adam What happened?

1:29:42🔗 Drew Was this encounters?

1:29:44🔗 Caller Oh yeah, many-

1:29:45🔗 Adam Over two years.

1:29:46🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, okay, that's what I missed out on.

1:29:49🔗 Caller And I did tell my parents, because it did start to bother me. It worked like my conscience was getting-

1:29:54🔗 Drew And she was your age too?

1:29:55🔗 Caller She was the same age as I was.

1:29:56🔗 Caller We grew up together.

1:29:58🔗 Caller It was like my parents' best-

1:29:59🔗 Drew Now is she lesbian now?

1:30:01🔗 Caller No, she died of cancer two years ago.

1:30:04🔗 Drew Lesbian cancer?

1:30:05🔗 Caller No.

1:30:06🔗 Adam What kind of cancer?

1:30:08🔗 Caller She had lymphoma.

1:30:10🔗 Caller Yeah, cancer. And they found out when she was 15. But I had, I mean, I moved away from home very, very young. And so I never saw her until like a year before she died.

1:30:20🔗 Caller So I was very close to her.

1:30:21🔗 Caller And I loved her very much.

1:30:22🔗 Caller But I mean, after we never spoke of it after.

1:30:25🔗 Drew All right. All right. But Crystal.

1:30:29🔗 Adam Well, child on child sexual abuse, a very common thing.

1:30:31🔗 Drew Maybe. And women are always a little more up in the air sexually, especially now, especially 21 year old. Maybe you're a lesbian.

1:30:42🔗 Caller I don't think so, though.

1:30:43🔗 Drew All right. Well, then maybe or maybe just shut her down. Here's another thing, too. Talk to most women. Well, not most women, but a fair amount of women who are in their 30s or even late 20s. Ask them what they thought of sex at 19, 20, 21. Most of the time, they weren't that into it.

1:31:06🔗 Adam It was more of a power thing for them, a control thing.

1:31:09🔗 Drew Or whatever. But they just weren't that into it. It's like say, aha. Oh, this is good. Anderson, you're going to want to listen to this one, buddy. Ask most guys what they thought of beer at 16. And they'll tell you, they didn't really like the taste. Now, did they drink it? Yeah, they did. Why? Because that's what you did when you were 16. And you didn't want to say that you didn't like the taste of it. And so you did it. Now, guys love beer. But I mean, when I was 16, I'd drink Mickey's Big Mouth and make a face.

1:31:43🔗 Adam You wouldn't now?

1:31:47🔗 Drew That's true. I was so loaded by the time I got to the Mickey's. I wouldn't I wouldn't feel it. But no, I mean, now the point is, is when I was 16, I drank a beer. I did it to be cool. I did it to fit in. I did it to catch a buzz. I did it because my buddies were doing it. Whatever. 15, 14, whatever I was. Now, I go to home, you know, I really enjoy a beer. And I think women could say the same thing about sex. Now, is there a certain percentage of guys who were 15, 16 and did enjoy a beer? True. There were those guys. But most of them, not that into it, just sort of did it because they thought they were supposed to do it. And now they enjoy it. I think that's the same thing with women and sex.

1:32:28🔗 Adam All right, here we go. Keep going.

1:32:30🔗 Drew I got to write that down.

1:32:31🔗 Adam Keep going.

1:32:32🔗 Drew I'm writing that down.

1:32:33🔗 Adam Sixteen-year-old man.

1:32:34🔗 Drew There you go.

1:32:35🔗 Adam Just a minute left. Let's go.

1:32:36🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. We do?

1:32:37🔗 Adam Xanthius?

1:32:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:39🔗 Adam What's up?

1:32:41🔗 Drew How's your brother, Pythagoreum?

1:32:44🔗 Caller What's that?

1:32:45🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:32:46🔗 Caller Well, a couple, about a year and a half ago, I was living near Orange County in LA, and one of my friends just got into a fight with some Rockwell gang members, whatever you want to call.

1:33:00🔗 Drew Hey, what's going on in the background there?

1:33:03🔗 Caller I think it's the radio.

1:33:04🔗 Drew All right. Turn that down, please.

1:33:07🔗 Caller All right.

1:33:07🔗 Drew She's an idiot.

1:33:08🔗 Caller And we were arguing about who wanted to get out of the car to go buy a blunt.

1:33:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:33:13🔗 Caller And I won the argument, and he got out, and the guys that they fought with pulled out and shot him, and he died. And I don't know, I feel like it's my fault, because I was supposed to get out and buy it, but I didn't want to because I just didn't.

1:33:29🔗 Drew Right.

1:33:30🔗 Caller And lately, well, not lately, but the past tense has happened. I've been having like nightmares and stuff. It won't go away.

1:33:38🔗 Adam Well, sure. It's called a post-traumatic stress reaction. And you really ought to talk to somebody about this, because these things can affect your mood, can cause panic attacks. It can go on for a long time.

1:33:50🔗 Drew You know, I don't know.

1:33:50🔗 Caller They just, I don't know. They're just really odd dreams.

1:33:55🔗 Drew Hey, hey, listen. You got to get some help with this. And also, you can sort of dedicate your life to, you know, living in his memory or something, turn your life around, not hanging around with the hoodlums and all that kind of stuff.

1:34:11🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:34:12🔗 Drew Well, you know, let's not get hasty here.

1:34:16🔗 Caller Well, that's just what I do. You know, I'm a rapper and I do all that stuff.

1:34:21🔗 Drew Yeah, but.

1:34:21🔗 Caller That's just the lifestyle I live.

1:34:23🔗 Drew All right. Well, but that's the kind of lifestyle that's liable to get you shot or one of your friends shot. I know it's a chance you take, but why take that chance is what I'm saying.

1:34:33🔗 Adam I'm gonna turn people away from that and find a less violent way to express the same culture.

1:34:39🔗 Caller Oh, who cares?

1:34:42🔗 Adam What you have is treatable and you should see someone about it.

1:34:44🔗 Drew I'm still basking in the glow of my 16 year old happier versus sex with Jakes and Allergy.

1:34:49🔗 Adam And your triumphant Taboo II theme tonight.

1:34:52🔗 Drew Wow, I tell you, I'm gonna write Taboo II the musical. Oh yeah, that's gonna be good. All right, we're gonna take a little break. We'll be right back.

1:35:06🔗 Caller Love Line, Love Line, we'll be right back.

1:35:43🔗 Drew Well, this song reminds me of Detachable Penis.

1:35:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:35:48🔗 Drew Remember that?

1:35:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:35:52🔗 Drew That was your favorite song, remember back in 94?

1:35:55🔗 Adam Was it that long ago?

1:35:57🔗 Drew I think Detachable Penis could have been like, yeah, 94, 95.

1:36:01🔗 Adam Wow.

1:36:02🔗 Drew Listen, I was listening to Detachable Penis when I was listening to this show when I was swinging a hammer.

1:36:09🔗 Adam Oof.

1:36:10🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:36:11🔗 Adam Okay.

1:36:11🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. I think. Yeah, that's a Finnish hammer. I'd use a big 24-ounce framing hammer with a waffle. So that is going to do it for another fabulous Loveline show. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:28🔗 Adam Crazy style.

1:36:30🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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