8:44🔗
Drew
I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew with the Airphone Number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, facts number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest, we have Trevor and Scott both here from Face to Face. Drew remembers the guys well from their appearance here.
9:08🔗
Drew
Yeah. Two years. I think it was 13 days and 22 hours ago. Face to Face was here last. Reactionary is the name of the CD. And they will be, by the way, the House of Blues. That's coming up 24th, 25th, 26th. What is that? Saturday, Sunday, Friday?
9:31🔗
Drew
Yeah. Those are my days. Those are my lucky, lucky days. Hi guys. Good to see you back. Hello.
9:42🔗
Face to Face
Yeah. Recording records, playing shows, you know, the usual, usual band stuff. Yeah.
9:58🔗
Drew
That's true. Yeah. Well, maybe not so much a springboard, but maybe, I'm trying to, what's something you'd, one of those aerobic step things.
10:08🔗
Drew
How many of those you figured they sold? You know what I mean? I got an invention. It's a step. How's it work? Well, it's six inches above the ground. What ground? Well, wherever you'd normally be, this would be six inches higher. Yeah. What do you do? You step up on it. And then what? Well, then you step down.
10:35🔗
Face to Face
And the way they make their money is nobody would ever admit not using it and, you know, selling it or giving it back.
10:57🔗
Drew
I do one now that I'm literally a millionaire. I do one where I just have migrant workers lie at my feet and I step on them and step back down again. It cost a little more but it really feels good.
11:10🔗
Adam
Talking about infomercials just brings back memories of last night and I begin to think about Tommy Vu doing a step class.
11:17🔗
Drew
I'm not breaking into more Tommy Vu, but last night I did my Tom Vu. You remember Tom Vu, the guy used to do the real estate commercials? He was this Vietnamese guy and he was on late night and he was talking about buying real estate, no money down, and he had a big mansion and a Ferrari parked in front of it. And he'd say, you see that Ferrari? That's my toy. And he had a boat with chicks all over it. Oh, you guys either go to bed too early or too late. But the Tom Vu window opened and closed on Face to Face. All right, we'll hear something off the Face to Face CD. And soon as their record guy goes and gets it, he brought all 18 of the previous Face to Face CDs, except for the current one.
12:07🔗
Yes.
12:11🔗
Nothing much.
12:12🔗
Caller
I had sex with my girlfriend. The condom broke. And a couple, actually two days after that, it seems like it came out the next time she went to the bathroom.
12:28🔗
No, no, no, the semen.
12:47🔗
Drew
No. Okay. But she would make a good mule, this one. She really would. Put semen in her and two days later comes out.
12:57🔗
Face to Face
Well, I hate to say from a physics standpoint, maybe she was lying to you whose semen was coming out two days later. Hey, what's that? Oh, it was yours from two days ago. Oh, okay.
13:41🔗
How long ago?
13:46🔗
Yeah.
13:51🔗
How much does it usually cost?
13:52🔗
Adam
About 30 bucks. Plan Parenthood would probably give it to you for next to nothing. Most of them, anyway.
13:56🔗
Drew
Yeah, but it's 30 bucks for the pill, but let me just tell you, that may sound like a lot, but my parents spent close to 90 raising me, okay? So think of it that way. My dad sometimes estimates as high as 100.
14:10🔗
Drew
When he drinks, he says it's 100, 110, but you know how, when the years go on, they tend to, you know, wham, wham.
14:18🔗
Drew
Right. I remember he always points out the windbreaker he bought me in 1978 is one of the major expenses of my childhood.
14:25🔗
Drew
Well, it said Santa Anita on the back, but the point is, is he bought it off a guy, went to Santa Anita, and that did set him back eight bucks.
14:32🔗
Adam
But to repeat this until completely boring everyone to tears, it's a pill you take within three days of a sexual encounter. It's not RU-46. It's not an abortion pill. It just prevents the egg and the sperm from getting together. The trade product is Prevent or Plan B. You can also take O-Vral, Low O-Vral.
14:57🔗
Drew
They don't do that in movies or TV shows so much anymore where they go, now all we can do is wait. And then they cut away to everyone waiting. And then it goes to commercial.
15:06🔗
Adam
I thought of some more souffle humor. They even had it in Love and Death. Souffle is so heavy, you put it on the table, the table falls apart.
15:13🔗
Drew
I'm trying to bring souffle humor back to the American lexicon. When I grew up, someone was cooking a souffle, someone would walk into the kitchen, slam the door.
15:22🔗
Drew
Alice would go running to the oven, flip the light on, look through the glass. It hasn't fallen yet. Act 3, chandelier falls, Alice runs to the oven again, flicks the light on, but then of course in Act 3 or 4, somehow the thing breaks, right? Right.
15:47🔗
Yes.
15:51🔗
Caller
Hi, Face to Face. Hi. I have a problem and was wondering if the doctor could help me. I have this fantasy. When I make love to my husband, I'm thinking of somebody else. My husband is very prejudiced. He's black and the person that I think he just turns me on is Jeff Goldblum. I keep thinking. It's you. I fantasize about it. Oh. My husband found out about it and now he's kind of upset with me.
16:27🔗
Face to Face
You know what? A fantasy is a fantasy and he's got to accept that if he asked you your opinion of what your fantasy is and you gave it, he's kind of got to accept it.
16:35🔗
Drew
And by the way, here's the problem. It's like the only acceptable answer for most guys when they say, what's your fantasy? The only acceptable answer is you and a pair of cutoff sweats. And anything outside of that, they're pissed off. It's going to be a fight. So you're asking for trouble because what's your fantasy? Immediately there's somebody else involved and they're doing something to you that he doesn't get a chance to do. Are you black?
17:46🔗
Face to Face
So, you know, it sounds to me that your boyfriend just has his own prejudice regardless of the fact that it's attached to a sexual fantasy of yours. And, you know, so if you have a sexual fantasy, it's including a person of another race. He already is predisposition to disliking. Chances are he's going to dislike it. Would he have approved if you had been fantasizing about a black guy?
18:17🔗
Caller
I don't know. I just can't get him out of my mind. I just saw him one day and he did a look to this lady in the movie and I just, I can't get it out of my mind.
18:27🔗
Drew
He is kind of hot. I mean, in a kind of nerdy way. He's fine. Chess Goldblum's kind of sleeper hot. You know, he's kind of nerdy hot.
18:50🔗
Caller
Not all the time, but I love my husband. Believe me, I really love him and he's a really nice guy.
18:56🔗
Drew
No. Once in a while, she thinks Irv Rubin. He's the leader of the JDL, by the way. All right. You don't think of Irv? Okay. Drew, you're hip to Irv Rubin, right? I'm not hip. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right, Carolla, you're fine. Listen, and understand this, whenever a man, and we're all men, and we all know this, and we all know how it goes, and hopefully, we've stopped this. I don't know how old you got. How old are you guys?
19:25🔗
Drew
Remember when you were like, remember when you were like 19, and you'd say to your girlfriend?
19:30🔗
Drew
You'd go, you'd go, you know, when you were with your last boyfriend, like, what'd you do? Like, did you ever do this position, or that? All those questions.
19:43🔗
Drew
You didn't want the answer. What you didn't know is you were starting trouble, but you didn't know you were starting trouble.
19:50🔗
Drew
Yeah, it's like there's a scab, and I'm gonna pick it off. I got a tooth that hurts like hell, so I'm gonna screw with it with my tongue. That's what that is.
20:01🔗
Drew
Yeah, what are you fantasizing about? You know it's someone other than you, and then that leads to trouble. This is a subtle way that guys start trouble, but they usually drop this in the early 20s, right?
20:16🔗
Face to Face
The bottom line is guys stop asking questions that they don't want to be asked themselves. Hey, I never asked you that. Don't ask me that.
20:26🔗
Yeah?
20:29🔗
Caller
Well, for the last month and a half, I've been feeling guilty about masturbating, and I'm kind of curious why it hasn't gone away.
20:55🔗
Drew
I decided, by the way, the other couple weeks ago, that we should name, we should change the name from camping to raping, because that's all that goes on over there.
21:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, humping, humping. Yeah, it's no longer camping, it's humping. If I went camping with my grandmother, I'd nail her. I would, everyone that goes camping has sex, something happens out in the wilderness. Every time. Friends, you know, a guy and a girl have had a platonic relationship for 25 years ago, camping for one night, pow, he's banging the bejesus out of her. What is that?
21:32🔗
Caller
Okay, it was one of the coldest nights, we were up there for like five nights, and I was really, really horny, and it was really, really cold, so I knew he was not going to take off his pants, no matter what I did.
21:56🔗
Caller
And I turned over to him, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go masturbate unless you want to do it, because I felt kind of weird, you know, I'm doing it, and he's laying there holding me, it's kind of awkward, so I was like, do you want to do it? So he did it, and then after he asked me which one feels better, his penis or his finger, and I was like, what? You know?
22:19🔗
Caller
You know, it's like, that concept never entered my mind until then, and now ever since, it's like, don't get me wrong, I love his penis, but it's...
22:34🔗
Drew
Okay, well, let's be fair to the penis, it doesn't have a bend, you know, it's not jointed in the middle. Could you imagine if you could do that with your penis?
22:44🔗
Drew
Yeah, two joints. Wouldn't it be great if you could gesture with your penis? Hey, come here. Hey, you. You over there.
22:50🔗
More than just pointing.
22:54🔗
Come here.
22:55🔗
Face to Face
Well, I couldn't really tell if it's, you know, masturbating, you masturbating, or is it him masturbating you all the time?
23:03🔗
Yeah.
23:05🔗
Caller
Well, in the last half of the month, I've probably only done it three times, and I've forced myself because I couldn't have been able to sleep, and I'm like, I've been really horny and I couldn't sleep, and so I'm like, I have to do this. I'm not going to get any sleep. So just do it. Don't do that.
23:33🔗
Drew
I had one of those, I didn't want to masturbate, but I had to masturbate last night, masturbation sessions.
23:42🔗
Face to Face
I just go out on the porch. Yeah. Yeah, sure. It's a moonlit night. It's beautiful.
23:49🔗
Drew
Seriously, and Drew won't answer this, but I want to ask the guys, do you ever have that, because I have this all the time, once I start, it becomes a question of who's better, me or my nuts, and there's no way I'm going to lose out to my sack. That's where I was at last night.
24:06🔗
Face to Face
I'm pretty driven, I won't even let a phone call stop me. Where were we? Come on, back to form.
24:11🔗
Drew
I had a couple of Tylenol PMs and a half bottle of red wine in me, and my penis was like, hey, I'm turning in. I'm turning in, I'm like, no you're not. And I actually, like halfway into it, had to get up and kind of shake it loose, walk around a little, crack the knuckles, move around, put a little water on my face, and it's like, come on, let's get back to it.
24:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, I hit the speed bag. I did a little shadow boxing, yeah. And I wasn't gonna let, you know, my scrotum get the best of me.
24:43🔗
Drew
You guys know what I'm talking about? Who's boss? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, here's, okay, because it's a dangerous precedent for your penis to beat you.
24:50🔗
Drew
Like, you have to have the kind of penis where you go, hey, hey, I don't care if we did it an hour ago. I said go, we're doing it, here we go, let's go.
25:04🔗
Drew
Yeah, it felt like a, you know, like a drill sergeant and we were on like a 15 mile hike and I'd given the guys like a 10 minute break and now I was going, all right, rookies, on your feet now, let's go. And my penis was like, oh, sergeant, I'm so tired, let's go. Yeah, that's about it. Dre, you love Fat Camp, don't you Lardos? I can't hear you, son. Miguel?
25:33🔗
Mayonnaise?
25:36🔗
That's my main, main mayonnaise.
25:37🔗
That's my main, main mayonnaise.
25:51🔗
Hey, Face to Face. How are you?
25:53🔗
Good, thanks. In lieu of one question, can I ask two really quick questions?
26:01🔗
Well, you were talking about shadow boxing a few minutes ago, and I just bought a heavy bag, and I noticed that when I hit the thing, I get bruises and sort of growth on my knuckles.
26:15🔗
Yeah. Do you have any recommendations to soften the blow?
26:19🔗
Drew
Yeah, I got a few. First off, you may want to get one of those water bags. They have water bladder in them. I switched to one of those a year ago. I love the thing. Hey, number one. B number two, are you using bag gloves?
26:34🔗
Yes.
26:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, but use real good bag gloves, not those cheap ones with the thumb cut out that are like mittens. You got to use real good bag gloves or like boxing gloves.
26:44🔗
Oh, I see. How much do those cost?
26:48🔗
Sweet.
26:51🔗
Oh, no, I don't do that.
26:54🔗
Drew
It'd be good to do that, but use... Okay, okay. This is real quick. We never talk about this. Just want to indulge me for a second. Here's the deal, Miguel. When you hit the bag, you hit it flat with your knuckles. Don't graze off it, because it's like... If you... I always used to say this when I used to... to my students when I used to teach boxing. If you drop your knee right down on the ground, you won't get a scrape. But if you're running forward and scrape your knee on the ground, it'll take the skin off. And it's the same thing when you're hitting the bag. If you hit it flat and hit it flush, you won't screw up your knuckles. But if you're grazing it and coming off it and glancing off it all the time, you'll scrape your knuckles just like you'd scrape your knee if you dragged it along the ground, as opposed to planting it on the ground. So try to plant your punches, all right? And it'll help your form anyway. You'll punch straight. Get some wraps. Call a place called Ringside. Ringside, they're in like Indiana or something. Order some good bag gloves and some Mexican wraps, all right?
27:53🔗
Drew
Not the canvas ones, the Mexican ones. They stretch a little. And don't wrap them too tight. It'll cut your circulation off, all right?
28:00🔗
Caller
Listening to your show for a really long time. And I know you guys get compliments all the time. And I just want to add another one that I think your show is great. I think one of my most favorite shows of all time, unfortunately Dr. Drew wasn't involved, was when Snoop Dogg came along.
28:16🔗
Caller
And Snoop Dogg came on. And that leads into my second question. Dr. Drew, do you know Deez? Who? Deez Nuts in your face.
28:27🔗
That's my main, main, main name.
28:28🔗
My main, main, main name.
28:33🔗
I love you guys.
28:35🔗
See you later.
28:36🔗
Drew
Seriously, do you know Deez? No, he doesn't know. Boy, you're moted and corroded. Fully.
28:53🔗
Drew
Is that the third point? I always said you're, we're not allowed to say the T word, but the breast exploded.
29:16🔗
Hi.
29:17🔗
Hey.
29:18🔗
I know you guys get a lot of compliments, but I just want to say I love your show and what's up, Face to Face?
29:24🔗
You know, actually it's Rachel.
29:30🔗
I actually have a question. Actually, it's kind of like I'm kind of confused because, like, everything in a relationship, I get in with a guy, I kind of, like, am thinking about girls when I'm with him. Like, I think about, I don't know, I'm attracted to girls lately. I don't know if it's a stage or I don't know, like, what's going on with me, but...
29:55🔗
Actually, the other day...
29:59🔗
Okay.
30:00🔗
Drew
We're going to Face to Face as our guest. Hopefully, we have their new CD here. Or if we don't... Oh, yes, we do. So we'll hear something off of that in the next break. We'll get back to... What is it? Rachel? Rachel. Right. We'll hear about our attraction to women after this.
30:56🔗
Drew
It's Loveline, Adam Carolla, he's Dr. Drew. Oh, I didn't get the timing right. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, wasn't the music, didn't the music kick in again?
31:17🔗
Drew
Yeah, well, I'll explain that later. Trevor and Scott are both here from Face to Face, and we will hear something off the Face to Face CD. I'd like that in here, Ann, if you do have, do you have that? Oh, okay. So we're going to hear a song off that. We're going to finish talking to Rachel about her lesbian tendencies. Rachel?
31:42🔗
Yep.
31:47🔗
It's understandable.
31:51🔗
Well, actually, I have like two best friends and we're like really close or whatever. And like the other day, like, because I've never been, I'm 18 and I've never been with a girl like prior and I've always like wondered what it's always, I've always like fantasized kind of, like I, well, I know this is, everybody has to admit all the girls because we all masturbate, but this all the girls do. So, I mean, I, instead of thinking of men, I mean, I love guys, but like I always think of women that's so weird and kind of freaking myself out. But like-
32:31🔗
No, but like we ended up like, all three of us just, we started just like making out and just like feeling each other and stuff. And like, I don't know, I told my sister about it because we were real close. And I don't know, it was, it was awesome. It was completely awesome. It was like the best experience.
32:54🔗
Well, I know, I know they're kind, I think they might be bisexual, but I don't, I'm not sure.
33:01🔗
Yeah.
33:03🔗
Yeah.
33:07🔗
Well, yeah, because they had to leave.
33:16🔗
Drew
By the way, hold on, I know we've brought this up before, but this guys would never do this. It's like me and Bert and Stu, we're pretty tight. I mean, they're cool dudes and everything.
33:26🔗
Drew
We hang out a lot and stuff. And I don't know, we'd had a couple of beers, we knocked a few back and I just started rubbing Bert's ass.
33:38🔗
Drew
Yeah, the game started. It was a one o'clock kickoff. So it broke up pretty quick. We were really grooving on each other. We're just friends though. I mean, it's cool. Bert and Stu both have girlfriends, but you know, I mean, they're both kind of hot. I mean, they're not good looking, but their personalities are really attractive. And you know, we've known each other for a while. Oops, wait a minute.
34:00🔗
No. How is it? I think one of them is bisexual.
34:08🔗
Well, because I have a boyfriend.
34:19🔗
Well, it's kind of just like we're just open about it. We just have fun with it. It's not like, I mean...
34:26🔗
Drew
Hold on. Sometimes people need this announcement. Earth to TARD. Earth to TARD. Come in, TARD. TARD, are you there? Yes, TARD. We'd like to speak to the leader of the TARD. Is that you, Rachel?
34:39🔗
What?
34:40🔗
Drew
What my partner, Dr. Drew, is curious about is how is it that you don't know what your best friends are? You don't know whether they're lesbian? You don't know whether they're bisexual?
34:54🔗
Okay, well, I guess we all are bisexual then, I guess. But I'm not really sure about myself. I'm wondering if it's like a stage or it's getting in between my relationships with guys and maybe you're not really liking it.
35:07🔗
Face to Face
Maybe it's perfect for fantasy food but not the sort of thing you want to take on. I mean, you'd want to think before mailing the postcards out to mom and dad for a new lifestyle choice.
35:20🔗
Adam
Any history of sexual trauma in childhood that would make it difficult for you to sort of come up with a sexual identity?
35:27🔗
Actually, no. My family is great.
35:32🔗
Yeah.
35:34🔗
But see, that's the thing. I've been listening to you guys for about two or three years, and I've always wanted to call about this, but I haven't. And it's just like the imagination is just-
35:46🔗
Adam
Well, a lot of women experience sexuality by thinking about other women, because women are sort of the sexual objects in our culture. And to be aroused by and to sort of feel sexual and think sexually as it regards to female objects is a common thing. But you're going to be on that.
36:03🔗
Drew
I'm, yeah, she's fine. I'm going nuts thinking about the amount of hold downs I have to put in my garage. I'm getting angry now. I just did a tally. I came up with 10 goddamn hold downs in that bunker. I'm no longer building a garage. I'm building a fallout goddamn shelter.
36:21🔗
Drew
Okay. We're going to hear a face to face on and then I'm going to talk to the guys more about the city and permits and hold downs. Drew, where are you going? You're missing a very important conversation about the man and taxpayers and what I should get for my 500 grand a year. All right. This one is, oh, this is called Disappointed. Now, listen to that applause. There you go. Well, disappointed from Face to Face. Drew is in the next room. He's back here. He's returned his page. Can you put that on vibrate, please, Drew?
39:58🔗
Drew
Hey, women can kill two hours talking about cuticles. Imagine how much they can talk about kids. Oh, yeah. You really think about it. I think it's about a couple of hours just talking about herbal tea.
40:20🔗
Drew
Do you, Drew, do you, are you giving Ann a bunch of your multiple junk? You know, like Thomas the Tank Engine crap that you got? Yes.
40:35🔗
Drew
Don't you think kids, I was talking to Drew about this. I was in some kids' room, you know, molesting them a couple of weeks back, and I saw a Grinch that stole Christmas tape amongst all the other Christmas tapes. The tapes that I...
40:53🔗
Drew
All of them. The ones I could remember, and all the peanuts, the Charlie Brown stuff, the, I remember the Halloween one, the things that coveted things. I used to wait for that day, man. I mean, I knew three, four weeks before that Grinch that stole Christmas was coming. And it was exciting. I mean, every year, they'd probably run it about December 8th, December 9th. It was sort of early, mid.
41:27🔗
Drew
Be a Friday night, maybe about eight o'clock. And that was serious excitement. And I mean, if you took a leak or got something neat and it came back on, your sister or brother started yelling. I mean, you were sprinting in those little foot jammies down the thing. You'd slide past the door and scramble back in and die. You couldn't miss a second of that on that crappy black and white zenith we have. But the point is, is the idea that you could look at that in August and July.
41:52🔗
Drew
Would be good, but at first. But I think ultimately the joke's on them. They can't possibly enjoy it as much, can they?
42:02🔗
Adam
It creates as much more of a fluidity with all those sorts of choices because they watch a Disney film that we'd see when we were seven, we'd never see again, ever.
42:12🔗
Adam
Well, they see it on video six months later. Right. So, they're looking for the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. They're just very much involved in what's next.
42:18🔗
Drew
I still think Bedknobs and Broomsticks is a masterpiece. I've declared it a masterpiece because I saw it when I was seven. A cinematic triumph, says Adam Corolla. Escape to Witch Mountain. Another triumph.
42:35🔗
No, right.
42:35🔗
Drew
Drew, no one's heard of it. Dion? Yeah. Wings was the first movie Drew saw, is all that.
42:42🔗
Hello?
42:44🔗
Caller
Yeah. I'm trying to figure out how to ask my girlfriend to move out the way she snuck and moved in.
43:08🔗
Caller
It's like I got the place in May and she started spending the night and spending the night and now it's August and she called my house home the other day and that kind of snapped in my head like, huh?
43:21🔗
I'm going to live here.
43:22🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, you're 19 and I understand it's a little young for that and you figure you're going to piss her off, right?
43:29🔗
Adam
It's going to hurt her in some way, but you got to have that discussion about health and personal space and how you need your own.
43:39🔗
Drew
That's good. Yeah, just tell her you're really in there and you want to continue being in there, but you're just 19 and you two living on top of each other is causing too many problems right now. So you get around and you stay with her. I had a girlfriend move in with me because her apartment was crushed in an earthquake.
43:58🔗
Drew
Yeah, I was just yelling about earthquakes and it was in my mind. But don't start it. I had a girlfriend. I'd known her for three or four weeks. Cynthia. She was a little bit crazy, this Cynthia, three or four weeks in her. Everything was going great. She slept over the night of the big earthquake in 94. Her apartment was totaled. She had no money in the bank. Her car broke down. Her work, she was working in like Encino on Ventura. That place fell apart. No work, blown head gasket on her car. Apartment destroyed, no money in the bank, and at my house. And that was the beginning of the end. You know, you've been dating some for three weeks and you're now living together. Bad times. And she don't have a job or a car.
44:46🔗
Face to Face
You're an awfully charitable fella. I was going to say, even three weeks into a relationship, I would have been like, I'll pay for half a one night at a Ramada.
44:58🔗
Drew
Well, first off, you're hitting it off. You're getting along great. She slept over four out of the last six nights. She's sleeping over the night of the big quake. Now you have no money. She has no money.
45:16🔗
Drew
And the thing that was funniest too is she's from Minnesota. I was like, honey, I've been to a hundred of these quakes. You're going to go over there. You're going to have one dish broken. That'll be it. We call it the fire department. I was like spraying foam on a place. I was living in La Crescenta and she was living right. She lived right by the river in Sherman Oaks, right? Right on the fault line. And we went over there and she just started balling. And I was like, hey, you know what I said about I was wrong. You're right. This is horrible.
45:42🔗
Face to Face
You know what? She never lived there. She just drove you around, found a place. That's where I live. The one that's all in a pile of rubble.
45:55🔗
Drew
All right, we will take a little break, face face our guest and we'll be back after this.
46:39🔗
Drew
Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew. Trevor and Scott are both here from face to face. They're gonna be at the House of Blues the 24th, the 25th, and the 26th of this month, and it is almost sold out, I have been told.
47:01🔗
Drew
That's what I love about the QVC. It's like, oh, there's 150 clowns left. Oh, now there's 86 porcelain clowns left, and they're down to like 46, and I'm moving for the phone at that point.
47:12🔗
Drew
We have a pile of human fecal matter. We're down to 168. Oh, now we're down to 86. I'd dive on the phone if I had enough.
47:21🔗
Drew
I gotta grab. The idea that they're running out of something that I could have always seems to stir me. Cindy?
47:30🔗
Hello?
47:39🔗
Caller
Okay. I'm 17 and I don't like men and I want to be a lesbian. I like girls. I've had girl experiences and I don't know.
47:47🔗
Adam
Just out of curiosity, you sort of, you couched it in, I don't like men. Is it that you don't like men or that you like women? Which, or is it both?
47:56🔗
Caller
I like women. I just, I can't stand to be around guys. I don't like them. I've tried to get intimate with them and I can't.
48:03🔗
Drew
Yeah, but you just said, I like women. I don't like men. I can't stand to be around them. You just said what Drew said.
48:25🔗
Caller
He's a real, like, I get along fine with my dad. He's the only guy I just, I don't know. I don't know what it is. He's the only one I get along with, the only male.
48:33🔗
Face to Face
Something must have happened because being attracted to women is normal, but hating men isn't normal.
48:40🔗
Adam
It's not that you're a lesbian that we're zeroing in on. It's the fact that so much of what you've told us so far about yourself is how much you hate men.
48:52🔗
Caller
I don't know. Like, I try to think about if something happened in my childhood, but I can't remember anything.
49:05🔗
Drew
What do you want me to play the goddamn bagpipes for you? I get paid a lot of money to be funny. I'm a millionaire, literally a millionaire. You hear that, Cynthia?
49:17🔗
Drew
Yeah. That goes out to my ex-girlfriend who squatted my house during the earthquake. Millionaire, honey. That's right. Big time. I think she must have been holding me back because I wasn't a millionaire when I was with her. Hey, Cindy? Your dad doesn't drink?
49:43🔗
Face to Face
Do you run with social circles of people that are generally rude and uncaring and mean to you? Well, maybe you just need to change your social circle.
49:56🔗
Drew
I hate to say, but you need to hang out with some gay guys. That'll get you back on, man. They're very caring, nurturing, they smell good, they recycle, they're into the environment.
50:14🔗
Drew
Just don't do it through process of elimination. Be with a woman because you want to be with a woman, not because you don't want to be with a man.
50:25🔗
Adam
But I would look, why shouldn't you have reasonably good relationships with men as well? Not necessarily sexual, if you're a lesbian, that's fine. But maybe you need to look at or work at meeting different kinds of guys.
50:45🔗
Caller
Yeah, about like a month and a half ago, I went down on this girl, and she was like 19. And like a week after that, the skin on my gums, it started like falling off. Like not all at once, just like in spots.
51:06🔗
Drew
I just wonder if she took her pants down first. Sometimes guys go down on girls, they don't take the pants off.
51:21🔗
Caller
Yeah, because after that, I also started using this mouthwash. It tastes really nasty. And I was wondering if it was probably that or if it was an STD or anything.
51:56🔗
Drew
I would have considered that quite a feather in my cap at 16 to go down on a 19-year-old.
52:04🔗
Drew
Yeah. A 19-year-old corpse I would have been bragging about at 16. I broke into the morgue. No, no. Hear me out. Rachel.
52:15🔗
Hi.
52:17🔗
What's up?
52:18🔗
Caller
I was on fertility drugs for a while, and I ended that on May 9th, and my period just started. It's been 21 days now, and I will not stop bleeding.
52:41🔗
Caller
Yeah. She had me on 150 milligrams. And they tracked it, and it went 75 days before it started.
52:55🔗
No.
53:05🔗
Adam
You see the color better at night. But listen, Rachel, why aren't you calling the doctors that have been treating you? Because there are ways they can stabilize the lining of the uterus, the endometrium, with hormones. It's called dysfunctional uterine bleeding, and it can happen from ovarian cysts, it can happen from thyroid disease. But this has been because you've been-
53:23🔗
Adam
Yeah, but your hormones have been manipulated. You probably had an overgrowth of the endometrial lining.
53:28🔗
Drew
I could stabilize that uterus of yours with some subfloor adhesive and a caulking gun. No problem. A little PL4000.
53:36🔗
Adam
They may put you on the pill. They may give you some progesterone. There's various ways they can stop.
53:58🔗
Drew
Can I ask you a question, man? Are you a real doctor or just a love doctor? I love our callers. They'll sit there and listen to them rattle that crap off for 10 minutes and then go. Then during the commercial, they'll go, you a psychologist? I built a vagina in my basement in high school. Are you kidding? Drew, you're a genius. I tell you. What are you doing? You're pointing at something? Okay. We got to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Karen. Hey. What? Forget it.
54:37🔗
Drew
No, I just mean, Daniel, just spell Karen however Karen is spelled. Don't ask them how to do it. That drives me insane. They do that to me on the TV show. Everyone's got their own name because everyone's a retard these days and have to establish yourself through the spelling of their name. They work at a Wendy's, but don't worry, they spell Lisa with two I's. So now they're special all of a sudden. So everyone spells their name their own special way. I know we're running late for break. So the idiots on the TV show hold up the cue card with everyone's own idiot spelling of their own personal name.
55:08🔗
Drew
I have no idea how to pronounce it except for it's Karen. It's just they spell it with three C's at the top. I always yell at them, I don't care how they spell their name, I want it spelled how it's spelled so I can pronounce the goddamn thing, and no one's going to see it written anyway. You can't articulate yourself any better than that.
55:28🔗
Drew
There we go. I don't care if Karen wants. We'll be back. Let's worry about what Adam wants.
55:33🔗
Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.
56:20🔗
Drew
It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Trevor and Scott are both here from Face to Face. We're gonna hear something off their new-ist CD called, what the hell is that? Oh, yeah, Reactionary. Wait a minute, did I get that right? Yeah, that's right. You know what my problem is? And I've done this before, Drew, and I gotta stop doing it. I have my little notepad here that I make my notes on, you know? And then through the course of the show, I start doodling on it.
56:54🔗
Drew
And I take the name of the CD and I start turning it into a flower. And I take the name of the band members and I start turning those into something.
57:09🔗
Drew
Right, and I start drawing those German half tracks I was talking about last night, remember those from my youth? And before you know it, I got a big thing, looks like I've been in prison for 10 years doodling, and I can't read any of my own writing. So stop me if you see me doing that, Drew, please. Karen?
57:25🔗
Hello?
57:29🔗
Caller
Well, my husband, when we have sex, he likes for me to be the dominant one, the majority of the time. I don't mind, but he likes for me to perform like anal sex on him with various objects, like from the remote control to the...
57:51🔗
Caller
anything but like the kitchen sink. And it trips me out because later on, after we're finished, he's angry with me. But then a little while later, I'll be like, where's the remote control? It was just right there. Where is it at? I turn around, I look back, there it is. You know what I mean? And it smells kind of funky. You know what I mean?
58:19🔗
Caller
He gets mad at me for it. And then later on, I find him like the salt and pepper shaker.
58:26🔗
Caller
You know, like, where's the salt and pepper shakers, honey? I don't understand this. And he gets like this weird look on his face. I know, and I know. I know what he's doing. But, I mean, what is it? Does he feel guilty?
58:38🔗
Drew
No, I know. I remember one time, I got to tell you guys a story. I haven't talked about it, but I came home. I couldn't find the salt shaker, beat the ass out of my girlfriend. It's like, come on, honey, get it out of your ass.
58:50🔗
Drew
Come on, spit it out. I know it's up your ass. I know that it turned out it was behind the paprika thing in the back of the shelf. I felt like an idiot, but, you know, your instinct goes.
59:30🔗
Face to Face
And I think it's simple. You just have to whether you know someone or have to pay for someone, just have a guy come over, service your husband and let him...
59:48🔗
Drew
Listen, gay would be a real step up for you right now, Karen. It really would. For you to be married to...
59:55🔗
Caller
I'd like the best of both worlds. He's my best friend. But I just want to know if it's possible for him to walk around all day with like, um, um, assault shooters.
1:00:18🔗
Drew
I'm having trouble processing this. First off, Karen is ten kinds of nuts. Yeah. She's... You can hear it in her voice. She's skittish. She's all over the place. Now, I still want to just, like I said, just piece this together like Columbo for a second. Karen. Yeah. All right. Just listen, focus and track with me if you would, please. He wants you to put things in his ass during the lovemaking process. Right. Now, he puts things in his ass on his own as well.
1:00:51🔗
Yeah.
1:00:54🔗
Yeah.
1:01:04🔗
Yeah.
1:01:11🔗
Drew
It wouldn't be a bad thing though. Cut to the chase. You love eating, right? Yeah. You love Caesar salad? Yeah. You like sex? All right. Hold on. What have I got to get for you?
1:01:35🔗
Face to Face
In the joint, I don't know if many of you listeners out there know this, but in the joint, it's a very common practice for people to smuggle things in and out in their private zone. So perhaps he's got this space. He needs to constantly work it out.
1:02:06🔗
Drew
Let's have fun. Just keep doing this. I don't care if the show goes on for another night.
1:02:22🔗
Drew
There we go. According to our listeners, everyone is born with a parole officer, and then you violate it. So you can actually go to prison for violation of parole without any prior. So stealing cars. And then he tried to put a U-Go in his ass, or what happened? Karen, here's where it's going to take a... Here's where it's going to go from macabre to downright heartbreaking, and I'm about ready to start crying here. Do you have any kids?
1:02:56🔗
Drew
If those kids were raised by ravy, infested raccoons, they would stand a better shot than you two numbskulls. You got Mr. and Mrs. Keester raising the kids, the Keester family. Is that what it says on the mailbox? Meet the Keesters. Meet the Keester bunny. Who is raising these kids?
1:03:30🔗
Caller
The kids have nothing to even do with this. The kids, I've never even heard them cuss. They don't even, they don't even.
1:03:43🔗
Drew
Well, I know you put them out in the yard with one of those stakes and 10 feet of chain. But where are they day in and day out?
1:04:00🔗
Caller
They're living with their parents, their other parents, their father and their mother.
1:04:08🔗
Drew
So they're not around you two numbskulls. All right, listen, Karen, you got to get back on your medication, whatever it is.
1:04:26🔗
Drew
You understand? Treat him like it's like, here's how I would treat this guy, like a half-use pack of matches that I left in Indio on my way back from Palm Springs and I'm sitting back in Hollywood. You think I'm going to make the drive back to pick them up?
1:04:43🔗
I love you. I love you.
1:04:47🔗
Adam
One last comment is that this, the business, the preoccupation with the keyster that we're seeing so much of these days is really, I think, is a way of managing very intense aggression. So people do in response to various kinds of aggressive impulses. They either do that to somebody else. I don't mean gay, but I mean the guy's doing it to women, the guy's doing it to themselves. These are aggressive impulses that are sort of channeled that way.
1:05:10🔗
Face to Face
There's that, and there's also, you know, you got to figure the edges of those palm walls or whatever they're smoking in there. Pretty rugged. He's probably discovered his prostate by now and has, you know, whoa, hey, what the hell's going on there? Well, anyway, here's your smokes. And he gets out and he's like, oh, honey.
1:05:26🔗
Drew
He is on a first name basis with his prostate. I am still not sure if I have one or not, Drew. Drew?
1:05:39🔗
Drew
Yeah, let me tell you, let me tell you how my scrotum sack is. Once I am out of sperm, I am like a hot air balloon that is losing altitude. They just start tossing stuff, provision, sandbags, furniture. I spit out my liver and part of my lower intestine out my urethra last time I masturbated. It usually comes about number six. Sue?
1:05:59🔗
Hi.
1:06:01🔗
Yes.
1:06:01🔗
Drew
Hey, how scary is that that Karen has a kid? Uh-oh, and better yet that the Keister Bunny has... Yeah, Mr. Keister, the Keister family. I swear we don't put that on our mailbox.
1:06:14🔗
That's scary.
1:06:18🔗
Oh, it's terrible.
1:06:19🔗
Drew
And here's the thing too. You go, well, oh, oh, I see. Thank God he's being raised by his mother.
1:06:32🔗
.and stay long enough to have a child.
1:06:45🔗
Caller
Yes. I have a problem with intimacy, a major problem. I don't really have a whole lot of friends. I have close acquaintances, but not really anyone I trust. And it's starting to affect my relationship with my husband really bad.
1:07:09🔗
Caller
I don't know. I've been through all the questions that you guys normally ask, and I've thought and thought, and I can't find the answer.
1:07:33🔗
Caller
I have one friend in my life that I remember that I could tell anything to him even.
1:07:46🔗
Caller
I honestly don't know. I've been to therapy for it, and I can't even open up to my therapist.
1:07:59🔗
Caller
No. Not really, but I can go places and I work, so I go to work and I can go to parties and things. But when I have to meet someone, it's very difficult.
1:08:16🔗
Caller
No. I find people really interesting, but I feel like an idiot. Like I can't hold a conversation with them.
1:08:24🔗
Adam
You're asking some important question, which is leading down the path. Is there a social phobia here and is that what's causing her to be so impaired in her intimacies? But no, it really sounds like trust issues, and usually those are connected to what some people call the abandonment depression, that something happened that caused a disconnect in childhood that was so painful that you can never want to get back into a close relationship again unless that all should be triggered.
1:09:09🔗
Drew
I got the inspection, and my therapist is very thankful that the inspection that I got on my garage edition, and it didn't pass by the way, today came some hours after my therapy session, in which case it would have, of course, been monopolized, our section. Mostly that and, you know, discussions of the man, and literally being a millionaire. That's all I talk about now. All right, I want to talk to Kathy. Kathy is 16. Kathy? Hi. What's up?
1:09:51🔗
Caller
Hi. I'm sorry about my phone. We have a really weak connection here at my house. Let's see. I work at McDonald's, and one of my managers has a past history of physical and vocal sexual harassment and verbal abuse.
1:10:08🔗
Caller
Let's see. About last week, I work in the back with the food, and so I wear a little apron. The tie is around in my behind, like around my butt.
1:10:19🔗
Drew
In your behind? Hold on a second. That's driving me nuts. You know what? I used to work at McDonald's. Drew, you ever work at McDonald's?
1:10:34🔗
Drew
I think everyone should be forced to work there just for six months of their life just to humble them and make everything else seem better. I worked there. There was a sign by the clock that said time to lean, time to clean. I knew that was a bad thing. I used to do sweeps and mops of the dining area. That was a bad gig. I worked the grill. I did not work the register. Didn't see fit to put me behind the register, but I'd work the grill. I still remember. Cheese count on Max, please. Cheese three, please. Thank you. Burgers up. Wrap, please. Why is it? I can't remember anything else but that. You know what I mean? I remember fishing a guy's watch out of the garbage after he threw it away on his tray. I remember eating apple pies when somebody ordered 10 of them, didn't collect them. They had to throw them away in an hour. I ran in the back and just speaking of the key string, five in this hole, five in this hole. I was getting out with 10.
1:11:38🔗
Drew
I remember beating up some punk kids who were making fun of me for sweeping and mopping the dining area on their skateboards out in the parking lot. It was great.
1:11:51🔗
Drew
Well, just one. It was a great scene. I was 15 and a half, 16 years old. I was wearing my brown outfit with my hat and everything. I was mopping the outside area. There's like three of these. There must have been 12. Maybe there were 13. Yeah, there could have been 13 or 14. Probably like two or three grades younger than I was. They're skating in a circle on their skateboards around the parking lot in front of the place. And they were just like...
1:12:20🔗
Drew
They were like, hey, you missed a spot. And they just kept getting like ballsier and ballsier and more brazen and brazen. They're getting closer and closer to me. And I was just like mopping and like, keep mopping, mop boy. Yeah, one day I'll work at McDonald's, be a big shelly. And they're just like, and I just kept looking down and they just kept kept up with it. And I was I was playing football at that time. So I had a good like I had a good like 40 time. And I just kept looking down as mopping. I was looking out of the corner of my eye and they're like, hey, mop boy. And one, I timed it. So when the guy came at me just before he started in on his turn, just dropped the mop and was on a dead sprint on this guy and just ran him down. It was like a cheetah track going down a gazelle right up on the back of like an old Plymouth and just beat the crap out of him right. It was great.
1:13:08🔗
They ran.
1:13:09🔗
Drew
They took off like like mad men. It's great. You know, you can catch most people who yell at you. You really can. The technique is you got one move. You don't got two moves. It's not like start moving at them and then make your move. Just keep looking down, keep doing what you're doing and then pow just start sprinting down. You'll knock them out. You'll run them down on a bike, a skateboard, one of those razors. You'll catch them. Razor.
1:13:35🔗
Drew
Literally a millionaire. I was yelling that as I was beating him on the back of his Plymouth. Wait, who were you talking to?
1:13:56🔗
Adam
But the important thing is that he's your manager and that must stop. Is there someone above him you can talk to?
1:14:07🔗
Caller
Before I started working, the head managers were like, hey, you know, watch out for this guy. His past history. If you have any problems at all, you know, tell us and he's gone.
1:14:26🔗
Drew
Yeah. He's going to miss that $5.35 an hour. I'll tell you. It's great. You know, it's always funny on those jobs, too. It's like your first day, you're like, I'm going to be the best grill master. Oh, my God. They're going to be proud. One day they'll be talking about me. I'm going to manage this place and like fast forward two hours. Like, I got to lose this gig. This sucks. I'm going to kill myself. It's always like for the first hour you're there, you're thinking, I'm going to be the world's greatest.
1:14:52🔗
Face to Face
Well, the first time you do anything and you don't get the reward. The pet log's dog. Right, right.
1:14:56🔗
Drew
But it's funny. I used to do that with class, too. I'd like show up for the first day class. Like, I'm going to do every assignment, I'm going to do every lick of homework. I'm going to study for every test. Like, you watch the clock tick forward five minutes. It's like, I already got a D. And I'm like, screw it. I'm cutting. I'm smoking weed. I'm going to the beach tomorrow.
1:15:16🔗
Drew
All right. Now, at least, I'm realistic to know that I don't even want to do it before I get there, which is, that's maturity, fellas. That's how you know you've matured. Jake?
1:15:24🔗
Yeah?
1:15:31🔗
Drew
You know, when I worked at McDonald's, they had a training video that said, if the place is robbed by armed robbers, do not attempt to thwart them. And I'm thinking, I'm getting $2.65 an hour. I'm going over the counter. I'm going to wrestle the salt rifle away from the guy. Are you kidding me? I'm going to start pocketing burgers and cash if this guy walks in here. All right, Jake.
1:15:52🔗
Caller
All right, man. Last night, I was driving, me and my girlfriend were driving. And then, you know, we start doing stuff and I start fingering her, okay, well, I'm driving. And then she starts pissing, like 15 minutes into it. Just starts pissing. And I just got a new truck and she pissed all over my seat.
1:16:29🔗
Drew
And we can say pee. I'll say urine. Yeah, I'd say it's such a science this FCC stuff. It makes perfect sense. All right, Jake. Yeah. We don't care that much.
1:16:51🔗
Drew
Yeah. And the strategy of the 11 wine coolers before you got your hand up her skirt probably didn't pay off that night. All right, Jake.
1:17:09🔗
Drew
I like the guys who get in arguments. I'm a Mopar man. Dodge, huh? I'm Chevy. Screw you. I'll kick your ass. Chevy, son of a. Ford. Ford rules. Are you kidding? Ford could like, Henry Ford could beat the crap out of Bob Dodge or John Chevrolet or whatever those dudes are. Are they getting like fist fights in the stands of the Monster Truck Bulls? That's how you know you're right when you're fighting over an engine make. Yeah, that's good. All right. We'll take a little break, Face to Face, our guest and we'll hear something from them. And also when we come back, we'll talk to Armando's 25, why does wife always want to have threesomes after this?
1:18:22🔗
Drew
Indeed, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That's my friend and partner, Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Trevor and Scott are both here from Face to Face. Reactionary is the name of the new CD. They will be at the House of Blues the 24th, 25th, and 26th.
1:18:42🔗
Drew
Of this month, that is a Thursday, Thursday, and Thursday. Three consecutive Thursdays, although we had one day apart.
1:18:54🔗
Drew
We actually changed the calendar around just for Face to Face. Again, 24th, 25th, 26th. Again, I think that's a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Is that what we figured out?
1:19:03🔗
Face to Face
Yeah. There's one and a half tickets left for the show, for each of the shows.
1:19:11🔗
Face to Face
We've never played the one in Hollywood, but we have played the one in New Orleans before. It's awesome. It's great.
1:19:32🔗
Drew
Right. Well, the one in, but you've seen other gigs at the one in LA. Yeah. Sure. Right?
1:19:41🔗
Drew
No. Yeah. No, I know it would seem like a good segue, but I just want to ask Armando about this threesome, and then we'll hear a song. Drew, what do you want to do? Do you want to make a phone call?
1:20:15🔗
Drew
Okay. Hold on a second. Good. That's good radio. You know, we call this a tease. We're going to hear something from Face to Face, then we'll get back to the very miserable Armando, who has two chicks, one penis, and a real dilemma on his hands. All right. This one is called You Could Have Had Everything for Armando. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's another good song from Face to Face. Off of their reactionary CD. Out in stores today, and again, House of Blues 24th, 25th, 26th. Out in LA by the way. And when we left off, we were speaking to Armando.
1:23:02🔗
Drew
Armando's 25, he's having threesomes. How many threesomes have you had with your wife?
1:23:26🔗
Caller
Well, I'm not bummed about it. It's just the fact. Have you guys have threesomes yourself?
1:23:34🔗
Face to Face
I'm not legally allowed to talk about it. But we're talking about you right now.
1:23:38🔗
Caller
All right, hey, but, all right, see what, I don't mind threesomes, but I want to have an intimate time with just ourselves sometimes.
1:23:50🔗
Adam
She's either sabotaging their relationship because she can't tolerate intimacy, or she's actually lesbian and can't sort of come to terms with that.
1:23:58🔗
Face to Face
Or perhaps she's really eager to please and it's just a misfire. She's trying to make you happy and it just isn't working.
1:24:30🔗
Drew
I would have been if you didn't chime in. I was right there. She works at a tanning salon?
1:24:40🔗
Caller
And I thought it was me myself that maybe it's me I can't please her and she's another partner.
1:25:00🔗
Face to Face
No, I'm talking about are you guys having sex just the two of you at all, your wife?
1:25:11🔗
Drew
Really, really, really, where do you... I understand she works at a tanning salon, but that still doesn't explain everything. I mean, every third customer who comes in there has sex with you and your wife?
1:25:30🔗
Caller
I figured the tanning salon, she's friends with the business owner, and I don't know how she brings it on to them.
1:25:44🔗
Drew
Oh, there's a little underground sort of swingers thing going on at the, I gotta get in one of these tanning places. And it's true because they have memberships and things.
1:25:54🔗
Adam
Or even more, maybe she just is into a community that he doesn't know that she's attached to. Not necessarily even at the tanning club that she just has.
1:26:07🔗
Drew
Not a gated community. All right, listen, Armando, so Armando's wife's a little whacked. She's got some issues. Yeah, it's a little messy. And Armando, you're going to have to tell her that you'd like to.
1:26:28🔗
Drew
Yeah. It's a weird conversation. It's like telling your butler you're tired of eating off of silver platters. You'd like to.
1:26:37🔗
Drew
Conversation you never really pictured yourself having when you were in high school. One day I'm going to have to pull my wife aside and work at the tan salon until I stop bringing home chicks from work so I can bang the bejesus out of both of them. You guys ever think you never prepare yourself to ever run through that conversation? No.
1:27:00🔗
Drew
Right. That and accepting the Heisman Award were the two speeches that I'd worked on throughout high school. Dante?
1:27:12🔗
Caller
Yeah. First, I just want to tell you Adam and Drew love in the show. I honestly haven't heard of the band before, but from the stuff I heard tonight, pretty good band. Oh, good.
1:27:23🔗
Caller
Thanks. And plus, I want to thank you guys for helping me out with the last time I called. They helped me clear up a lot of things with my mother and everything.
1:27:37🔗
Caller
I called about two, two and a half months ago, and I was the one that had the problem where my girlfriend's mother walked in on us having a threesome with another guy. Oh. Yeah.
1:28:05🔗
Caller
Right now, I'm still living at home, but in about a couple of weeks, I'm about to move out.
1:28:34🔗
Caller
Well, a problem we always had was about a year and a half ago, I started to notice that there were wrinkles starting to form on the head of my penis. And I was just wondering, like, what could have caused something like that and how to, like, get rid of it.
1:28:55🔗
Drew
Yeah. That's where wrinkles kick in. So the same wrinkles that you find on a balloon when the air comes out of it. Drew, what are the wrinkles on the head of the penis?
1:29:04🔗
Adam
I'm not even quite sure what he's talking about. There's a certain amount of wrinkling that's normal. Maybe it's just getting older. How old is he now? 17. Maybe it's just as you get older, you get more wrinkles in your hands.
1:29:16🔗
Drew
Listen, I wouldn't know from that because I've put the equivalent of 40, 50 gallon drums of Nivea on my Johnson over the past 20 years.
1:29:43🔗
Face to Face
But for economics, because when you're done, the last thing you want is to be cleaning up cream and have everyone smelling that one of your hands smells beautiful.
1:29:50🔗
Drew
That's great. Yeah, it's like his right hand and his nards both smell like aloe. What's up?
1:29:58🔗
Adam
I suppose Dante could undergo a little lift. They put a little scar behind the corona head.
1:30:20🔗
Drew
What about when you... Well, a lot of women find that distinguishing. And what about when you have an erection?
1:30:43🔗
Drew
How closely... Really, you're focusing too much on the penis. All right, we're going to take a little break. Face to Face, our guest, when we come back, we will speak to Debbie, wants to know... I don't like that question. You got anything good? Nothing? Oh, AJ, yeah, thinks his girlfriend fakes orgasms. He's 15, for Christ's sake. We'll be back after this. It's a Love Line by Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. We have Trever, who's the life partner, Scott, here.
1:31:51🔗
Adam
Did he get what he needed? I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what you're saying.
1:32:00🔗
Drew
Oh, Jimmy, yeah. Yeah, I seem to get that information. I'm actually, yeah, he's doing good. Saw him today. He's in good form.
1:32:13🔗
Drew
Yeah, we got a meeting with Ivan Reitman's people tomorrow, and not much to show him, so he suggested we get to work on it today, and then I got a call that the inspector was at my garage and not passing it, so I had to cut out, and run down there and start yelling for a while and then come back again.
1:32:38🔗
Drew
I tell Jimmy, hey, without the framing of the garage, none of this would be possible, and then I realized, no, wait a minute, I think it's the other way around. I should probably focus a little on the screenplay, but he's a genius and he's a good typer, so I let him carry the ball. AJ?
1:33:35🔗
Drew
All right. Hey, we don't believe you, AJ. Unless you can articulate yourself a little better.
1:33:46🔗
Adam
Listen, his thing is she's faking orgasm because I don't feel it. I don't feel an orgasm when she's having one. That's his perception is that her having an orgasm will trigger him to have one.
1:34:14🔗
Caller
Like, well, she makes the face gestures and she's like, AJ, AJ, but it's like, I don't think she's really telling the truth.
1:34:31🔗
Drew
Because, oh, I see because it feels like she's not telling the truth. That's why it feels like she's not telling the truth. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. That's my least favorite drop of this whole goddamn show.
1:34:45🔗
Drew
All right. Well, just assume she's faking. And AJ, just assume everyone's faking all the time from this point on, okay?
1:34:53🔗
Adam
There you go. Maybe she used a condom. Make sure she has birth control. Yeah. Don't worry about the orgasm right now.
1:34:58🔗
Drew
Hey, and listen, I really, to me, a fake orgasm is like an insincere compliment. Don't care. If someone comes up to me and says, hey, you look great. Your haircut looks nice. Fine. Do they mean it? Don't care. Don't care. It's the same thing. You fake it? Fine. James?
1:35:21🔗
Caller
Okay. I was wondering, if a gay guy approaches you or makes overtones in public, what's the proper thing to do? I mean, to reject them?
1:35:39🔗
Caller
Sitting at a restaurant, having a conversation with somebody, gay guy I've seen before walks by, makes a totally rude stare, or gay guy sits by you and puts his hands in his lap.
1:36:08🔗
Adam
Do you believe that because men are gay, they're going to somehow become predators, they're going to come out and go after you?
1:36:15🔗
Caller
I think, well, no, I think that in certain instances, they might, right, yeah, I think they do.
1:36:26🔗
Adam
James, gay men don't do that. But why would they want to do that? They know you're not gay. What, they want to get their ass kicked or what would they be thinking?
1:36:38🔗
Adam
Even, listen, gay men have to deal with guys like you all the time. And the last thing they want to do is trigger anything, any unpleasantness from you.
1:36:47🔗
Caller
Right, well, if you're, if you're saying I'm imagining it, that's not true. Because I know for a fact, like, today this guy is like a hairdresser, totally like interrupted a conversation just by like how he was acting.
1:37:08🔗
Adam
Yeah, unless somebody actually is predatory or disrespectful in some real substantial way. They violate your body space, your personal space or something, then you ask them, hey, stop.
1:37:27🔗
Adam
Well, I get upset with this because I want to protect gay men when I hear this kind of stuff. This is what they have to deal with.
1:37:31🔗
Drew
Trevor, you're 20. You can't, this is all you figured out in life. You know what I mean? How do you get along every day?
1:37:58🔗
Adam
Well, you're just a little too anxious about this stuff. People have their own proclivities. That's theirs. You got yours.
1:38:14🔗
Drew
Protecting something. They do those tests with those tumescence monitors. We have brought this up for a while. Do they have a tumescence monitor for everything? Oh, right.
1:38:34🔗
Drew
Right. And what they do is they put these things on your Johnson and then they show you Gay Erotica. I did it once just to see the Gay Erotica.
1:38:49🔗
Drew
Yeah. And they find that the guys that are the Gay Basher seem to have a little more reaction to the Gay Erotica than the non-Gay bashing strength guys.
1:39:04🔗
Adam
It's hard for me to relate or understand why men would have an issue with other men being gay. I'm like, so what? Why does that bother you?
1:39:11🔗
Drew
To me, it's funny. The guy's blowing a guy. But other than that, I could care less. Less competition for me. Like I said, more recycling. Just better all-around citizens, except for the parades. But good citizens, if you look at it. The gays, they make good citizens because they're very civically minded. You know what I mean? They're always doing something. They're always trying to clean something up or restore something.
1:39:39🔗
Face to Face
They're always trying to pick on young people, just trying to have a good time.
1:39:50🔗
Drew
And the way they look at you. I mean, not in the eye, but you can tell when they're staring at the back of your neck, when they're walking past you at the cafeteria. Sean? You're 23? What is up?
1:40:05🔗
Caller
Well, my question was, I'm trying to figure out why my girlfriend wants to just constantly give me a blowjob but doesn't want to have sex.
1:40:33🔗
Adam
Well, I understand the blow job is the peak of the sexualization pyramid for you, but some people prefer, or would at least like to experience it.
1:40:41🔗
Drew
Here's what the BJ is for me. That's you're having sex, but you ain't burning a calorie. You know what I mean? It's like you're having sex and napping at the same time.
1:41:46🔗
Drew
All right, let me give you guys some face-to-face dates. Reaction Air is the name of the CD, by the way. August 23rd, San Diego, 24th, 25th, 26th, in Los Angeles at the House of Blues. 27th will be in Phoenix. The 30th will be in Dallas. And then September 8th, Philadelphia. New York on the 9th, DC, Washington DC. On the 10th of September, 11th, Philadelphia. The 14th, Detroit, and 15th, Chicago. So, we're in all those places.
1:42:18🔗
Face to Face
We're actually on a 7 week tour. It starts in San Diego. So you can check it out at our website, facetofacemusic.com. All the dates are up there.
1:42:35🔗
Drew
Good to see you guys. And until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.
1:42:41🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.