Sunday, August 13, 2000

1:45🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:56🔗 Adam Hey, hey, hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician. Does my mic sound weird? An addiction medicine specialist.

2:13🔗 Drew A little bit tinny, but mine does too a little bit.

2:15🔗 Adam Yours does?

2:18🔗 Drew But it never fails though. You speak, I hear you in headphones, I yawn.

2:22🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm tired tonight. You know what? I'm not tired tonight. I'm sleepy. It's different. Yeah. It's this damn hot weather. It is so miserable out here in Southern California. It has been over 100 degrees for about nine days now and it's killing me.

2:38🔗 Drew In no and in sight.

2:41🔗 Adam No. Listen, it's time to call out the National Guard.

2:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:46🔗 Adam And get into some kind of cloud seeding program. I'm not a scientist, but I know we have resources we could take. Wait a minute, you listen to this?

2:57🔗 Drew Yeah, something's weird.

2:58🔗 Adam Hey Anderson, what's up with this mic?

3:00🔗 Every weekend people come in here and they mess around, and I got the guy that's been messing around all weekend coming in right now, so.

3:06🔗 Adam Someone's been messing around with the mic?

3:07🔗 Yeah, and since I'm not a scientist, I have no idea what happened. The board.

3:10🔗 Adam Oh, they're going to mess around with the board.

3:13🔗 No, they have, and I'm going to have him put that down.

3:15🔗 Drew Right, right.

3:16🔗 Adam You're going to fix it via the board.

3:17🔗 Drew Just see if, just put it down.

3:18🔗 Adam It's me putting it down, it's not going to do anything. Test one, two, yeah, there you go, Drew.

3:23🔗 Drew Much better.

3:24🔗 Adam Yeah, it's night and day, you idiot. It's a bad sign, by the way, the guy who's allegedly is going to fix the board, I saw him just walk in, put both hands by his side, hold his palms up to like the heavens and shake his head vehemently. That I don't know what you're talking about move. It wasn't me move. All right. Well, listen, who cares? Josh?

3:49🔗 Yeah.

3:49🔗 Adam You're 17.

3:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:51🔗 Caller What's up?

3:53🔗 Me and my girlfriend have sex and she'll have like eight or nine orgasms. I just don't quite see if that's possible or if she's faking it or what.

4:03🔗 Drew No, some women can do that.

4:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:05🔗 They can do that.

4:06🔗 Drew That's multiple orgasm and they don't have refractoriness, those women and they just they can have more.

4:10🔗 Adam No downtime. Yeah.

4:11🔗 Drew They have more than that if they're really with somebody good.

4:15🔗 Adam They're hoarders. They hoard the orgasms.

4:18🔗 Drew No, they just take them away from everyone else.

4:20🔗 Adam But isn't that bizarre how women work whereas with guys, they're guys who can have one orgasm.

4:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:28🔗 Adam And then they're guys who can have one orgasm a little bit too quickly.

4:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:32🔗 Adam And then they're guys who can have two, maybe three with some downtime in between.

4:37🔗 Drew Men.

4:37🔗 Adam But the range is about that of a Daisy Air rifle.

4:41🔗 Drew Right.

4:41🔗 Adam You know, it does not, from the worst to the best, about as much between your thumb and forefinger. Women, they're women who are in their 30s who've never had an orgasm in their life, and they're women who are 16 who have 14 of them on the ride into school because there's cobblestone down on the road. You know what I mean?

5:04🔗 Caller Right.

5:05🔗 Adam Damn, those bitches vary.

5:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:07🔗 Adam It's going to be the name of my new book.

5:08🔗 Caller God. All right.

5:10🔗 Adam Steve?

5:11🔗 Caller Yeah, when's that book coming out, Adam? Tomorrow. Oh, it is?

5:14🔗 Adam Yeah.

5:14🔗 Caller All right, I got something for you.

5:16🔗 Adam What's up?

5:17🔗 Caller I got a fart for you.

5:18🔗 Adam Oh, you do?

5:18🔗 Drew By the way, that means our delay is not working either, Anderson.

5:21🔗 Adam Oh, hold on a second.

5:23🔗 Drew No delay. You can't have heard that and then be able to answer it that quickly if there were delay.

5:27🔗 Everyone that's on hold, they hear you laugh.

5:29🔗 Drew I see. OK.

5:30🔗 They get to hear it when Adam says it.

5:31🔗 Drew I see.

5:32🔗 Adam And listen, son of TARD, are you going to announce the delay isn't working to America so they can call in and use the F word?

5:39🔗 Drew It's working. Well, if it weren't working, we wouldn't be going to the phones anyway.

5:42🔗 Adam We wouldn't?

5:43🔗 Drew No, until they fixed it. But it's working.

5:47🔗 Adam Now are you lying?

5:48🔗 Drew No, I'm telling the truth. You are? Now you're welcome to think that.

5:52🔗 Adam All right, just shut up. Steve?

5:53🔗 Caller Yeah, can I fart now?

5:54🔗 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

5:55🔗 Caller Sorry.

5:59🔗 Caller I hit the button.

6:00🔗 Adam Yeah, he sat on the phone. That was still pretty good, though.

6:04🔗 Caller Oh, it was?

6:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:05🔗 Caller Thanks. Yeah.

6:06🔗 Caller What's up?

6:08🔗 Caller Dude, my mom walked in on me the other day. My friends were messing around with the radio. My mom walked in on me the other day, and I was masturbating. I was sitting in there, and everything is out, and she just walked in, and it was like, boom, like that. Fringe just killed it, and now it's been like two weeks, and I just lost my whole sex drive. I mean, I was like...

6:33🔗 Drew Makes sense to me.

6:34🔗 Adam Yeah. It'll be back.

6:36🔗 Caller It will.

6:36🔗 Adam Do you think of your mom and you masturbate now? Because I do.

6:40🔗 Caller No, it's just like every time I start, it's like, what if she's going to walk in?

6:44🔗 Drew Right, it thinks it's an aversive condition.

6:46🔗 Adam Listen, okay, it's time for my safety speech. You need to feel like you're in a safe place when you're doing intimate things. For instance, you wouldn't enjoy a massage if you were getting a massage in a crowded shopping mall in the window of some store, people walking by. You know what I mean?

7:09🔗 Drew Right.

7:10🔗 Adam And it's like, if you had a new girlfriend or a new wife, you wouldn't want to be in a place where you thought, you know, you wouldn't want to go to a place where your ex used to go to all the time.

7:21🔗 Drew Right.

7:21🔗 Adam You couldn't enjoy yourself. And whether it's sex or whether it's masturbation, when you're in a sort of vulnerable position, I mean, when you're in the, you know, your mom runs out to the supermarket and you're in the den whacking away and you got sort of one eye's on the TV and the other eye's on the front door, that's a distraction.

7:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

7:41🔗 Adam You gotta get a lock for your door, everybody.

7:43🔗 Drew A barrel bolt. However, some of these kids aren't, you know, the parents won't allow that, at least for the bathroom.

7:49🔗 Adam It is a sort of admittance of guilt when you put a lock in on your bedroom door, but there's certain things in society that are sort of there, like when you go to one of those peep shows and you go into one of those booths and there's a roll of paper towels that are hanging on the wall, there's no sign that says Jack Bib on them, but you kind of get the idea of what the paper towels are there for, you know what I mean? But it's a little bit of an unspoken, and hopefully your parents like, what if your kid at 16 put a lock on their door? What would you think of that?

8:25🔗 Drew I would think there was a problem immediately.

8:27🔗 Adam A problem?

8:28🔗 Drew Yeah. And I would say, look.

8:32🔗 Adam What would you say? You just come home, okay, son or daughter, any different?

8:38🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay.

8:39🔗 Drew Because the guy, you'd assume he's masturbating. Less of a problem.

8:43🔗 Adam Yeah. The daughter, it's like, what's going on? She's having sex or something.

8:46🔗 Drew Right. Or doing drugs.

8:47🔗 Adam Okay. Okay. So you come home one day, and this is going to happen in the very near future, especially when I get hold of your kids.

8:53🔗 Drew The bathroom already has a lock, so that's fine.

8:54🔗 Adam Your bathroom has a lock. Okay. But you come home and you find the lock on one of your kid's doors.

8:59🔗 Drew I would say that this is your personal space, and I would expect that. But I have the right to come in here. I will knock always before I come in.

9:07🔗 Adam Right.

9:08🔗 Drew And there will be rules about how, when I come in, I won't look at your written material, this sort of thing. But otherwise, no locks. No. But our lock, our door, should have a lock.

9:17🔗 Adam Your bedroom door. Should have a couple locks probably. And does it have a lock?

9:21🔗 Drew It's just the knob lock, what they call it.

9:23🔗 Adam They call that a privacy lock.

9:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:25🔗 Adam Let me tell you guys something about that.

9:26🔗 Drew But the kids can pop those open like nothing, right?

9:27🔗 Adam I'll tell you guys something about door knobs. There's two door knobs. There's privacy and there's passage.

9:34🔗 Drew What's passage?

9:35🔗 Adam Passage is what you put on a closet door.

9:37🔗 Drew Okay.

9:37🔗 Adam You know, no lock on either side. Privacy will have the lock on one side, but no key, usually.

9:43🔗 Drew Right. But you usually think you can put a knife into it and pop it open, right?

9:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but your kids can't do that. You're fine. All right. Jessica? Yeah. You're 14. What's up?

9:57🔗 Caller Well, sometimes I wish that I could be raped, and...

10:03🔗 Adam Well, you come to the right place, sister.

10:06🔗 Caller Well, I know that it's wrong, and I don't want to feel this way, and I wonder why, and I wonder how I can stop.

10:13🔗 Adam Anyone ever rape you before?

10:15🔗 Caller No.

10:16🔗 Adam Nothing? Not a feeling that's connected? Oh, something changed. Not a feeling? That's a little better, Anderson.

10:23🔗 Drew That's a lot better.

10:23🔗 Adam A lot better. It's not a feeling that's connected to anything?

10:27🔗 Drew Never felt powerless or out of control in any time of your life in relation to other people?

10:36🔗 Caller Out of control, meaning what?

10:38🔗 Drew I wonder if somebody was doing things to you that you didn't want them to do.

10:41🔗 Caller Not really.

10:42🔗 Adam Okay. Well, let me say this about that. I think there's a certain percentage of women who have this fantasy, and I think it's semi-normal and semi-healthy, at least as healthy as a rape fantasy can be. Do you know what I'm saying? I think there's a certain percentage.

10:59🔗 Drew But I think most of that goes under the umbrella of desire to be sort of swept away.

11:03🔗 Adam Right.

11:03🔗 Drew You know, to be taken, you know, to be completely in another person's power, sort of thing.

11:07🔗 Adam And I think when they mean rape fantasy, they don't mean like eight Puerto Rican guys at the park beating on them with a seat post from a 10-speed. I think they mean like one good-looking guy who's sort of going...

11:22🔗 Drew Yeah, Fabio takes them away on the motorcycle.

11:23🔗 Adam You know what I want.

11:24🔗 Drew Yeah, right.

11:25🔗 Adam And you're going to get it. Hold on a second. Let me see here. Jessica?

11:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:30🔗 Adam How violent are these rape fantasies? The rape fantasies?

11:35🔗 Caller What about them?

11:36🔗 Adam Are they violent?

11:39🔗 Caller Not too much.

11:40🔗 Adam Okay, fine.

11:42🔗 Drew Oh, who cares? The fact that we get so little from her and the way we get it leads me to believe that something is up with her.

11:48🔗 Adam Oh, I don't care. Mark?

11:50🔗 Yeah?

11:50🔗 Adam You're 18?

11:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:51🔗 Adam What's up?

11:54🔗 Caller Well, I'm kind of like unsure about my bisexuality.

11:57🔗 Drew How about your bisexuality?

11:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:00🔗 Adam What's not to be sure?

12:01🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Yeah.

12:03🔗 Caller Well, it's kind of like I was bi at first and then now I'm gay. I'm just like really not sure about it.

12:09🔗 Adam You're gay. Let me explain what bisexuality is. It's the reason they call it bisexuality.

12:16🔗 Drew Some of you go bi on the way to homosexuality?

12:18🔗 Adam Yes. They're saying bi to heterosexuality and bi to bi and hello to homo. That's what bi is. They're waving bi.

12:26🔗 Drew I thought you were saying something that you went past and bi on your way to.

12:29🔗 Adam Well, you're going bi heterosexuality, but you're also waving bi.

12:34🔗 Drew I see.

12:35🔗 Adam You're standing at the gay station and your heterosexuality is a train and it's pulling out of the station, but bi, bi heterosexuality, that's fine.

12:45🔗 Drew You're gay. Especially your age, Mark.

12:47🔗 Adam Guys who are bi are gay anyway. It just takes them a little while.

12:50🔗 Drew But your age, Mark, it's just-

12:51🔗 Adam How long was Elton John bi for? Do you know what I mean? Elton John was bi for 35 years. Don't you think he was gay for those 35 years?

13:01🔗 Caller I guess.

13:01🔗 Adam Yeah. Oh, believe me, he was.

13:03🔗 Caller Well, dad, I've been with a lot of girls and a lot of girls like me and it's just like-

13:09🔗 Drew But that may have been why it was so confusing to you. Of course, you wanted to be that way and you were supposed to be that way as far as you were concerned, and so look, you're not.

13:18🔗 Adam That's all right.

13:18🔗 Drew It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but it's fine.

13:20🔗 Adam Yeah, you're fine. You're gay, you're 18, you realized it early, you have a great life. Let me tell you something-

13:27🔗 Drew See how Adam cut you off? He's jealous.

13:29🔗 Adam Yeah. You kidding me? I wish I was gay.

13:33🔗 Drew Oh, think of the fun you'd be having now with the construction guys.

13:37🔗 Adam Yeah, except for I wouldn't know how to build. It's to be kind of catch 22. I wish I was gay when I was done framing my garage. Then I could go to gay because if I was gay, I wouldn't know how to frame the garage. I know it sounds like a stereotype, but I worked in the business for 15 years. I couldn't find one gay guy who could swing a hammer.

13:57🔗 Drew Yeah, but-

13:59🔗 Adam They could tell you what they wanted, but they couldn't do it themselves.

14:02🔗 Drew They can do the finish work, can't they?

14:04🔗 Adam No. Never worked with any gay guys.

14:06🔗 Drew Maybe you could start a new trend.

14:08🔗 Adam Gay guys who finish stuff?

14:09🔗 Drew Yes.

14:10🔗 Adam Interesting. I'm going to look into that. You know what's funny? I don't know who I was talking to.

14:14🔗 Drew By the way, maybe it's because guys don't admit it in that damn culture. You know, they'd be hit with a claw or something.

14:20🔗 Adam No. No, they're just not. They're just, they're not, there's no gay guys in construction. That old village people think that's a myth.

14:28🔗 Drew That also speaks volumes about their wisdom.

14:31🔗 Adam Yeah, they're not dumb enough. They're smart, those gay guys, except for the blowing guys part. They're geniuses. But listen, I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story or whatever over the weekend, and they had the Jim J. Bullock episode, and now he's super gay, but there was talk about how when he was making a sitcom, how he had to keep it under wraps.

14:53🔗 Drew What was the sitcom he was in?

14:54🔗 Adam He was in Too Close for Comfort, which, oh man, TV was in a dreadful stage in the early 80s, because it was a Ted Knight sitcom, and Too Close for Comfort was a horrible sitcom. I mean, it was a flaming turd, and it was consistently in the top 10.

15:14🔗 Drew That was just overflow from the 70s.

15:17🔗 Adam Right, do you remember that Too Close for Comfort?

15:18🔗 Drew No.

15:19🔗 Adam Ted Knight, the guy, you know who Ted Knight is?

15:22🔗 Drew From Mary Tyler Moore?

15:24🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah. But the thing that was funny about that, hey Anderson, you ever see Too Close for Comfort? Loved it. You know the thing that was funny about that sitcom was, Ted Knight is, you know, is white as a white guy gets, right? Super ultra white. And he's married to a woman who has bright red hair and is almost transparent, she's so white, right? I can't remember the actress's name, but very super white.

15:48🔗 Caller Oh, shut up, would you?

15:49🔗 Adam Now, one daughter is this blonde, very fair skinned sort of Aryan type. And the other daughter is the, is the whore from the movie The Warriors. And it's like she is this Latina queen with this jet black hair, this very dark skin and these super dark brown eyes. The other sister looks like, you know, a Fair Fawcett from 1979. And the two parents are white as goes. And I always wondered, I mean, even when I was like 14, I was like, where did the, where did Carmen Miranda come from? You know what I'm saying? How did that work casting wise? One chick is like Mexican, like a Puerto Rican chick. And then just three other Nordic people. And there was never any explanation of it. I found that distracting. But the point is, is Jim J. Bullock was gay this whole time, and he was keeping it under wraps. And it sort of reminded me of like when Elton John was gay and he was keeping it under wraps. But the thing about gay guys is, the guys who've kept it under wraps for like 20 years, now they're super gay. Now they got to make up for all the straightness, the alleged straightness or the appearance of straightness that took place over all those years and we all have to suffer. Now Jim J. Bullock is super gay man, like Elton John is super gay. And we have to suffer for this. That's what I'm saying.

17:15🔗 Drew Do you think that's a few years of therapy and expressing the real actualized self or do you think it's just a compensation?

17:20🔗 Adam It's both. It's I led this lie for so many years and you as a society forced me to lead this lie. Now I've had therapy, I feel better about myself, my life partner has encouraged me, my mom died five years ago and I am out and I'm out, I'm further than out. I'm in the stratosphere of homo now and now you're all gonna pay and I'm gonna make up for all this lost gay time.

17:52🔗 Drew We have not had enough.

17:53🔗 Adam I don't like that by the way.

17:54🔗 Drew Well hold on now, we have not had enough gay guests on this show, we need some.

17:58🔗 Adam We do?

17:58🔗 Drew No, just to give.

17:59🔗 Adam We need more gay guests.

18:01🔗 Drew Like we know we're talking about.

18:02🔗 Adam Well Coolio's coming up. I have to leave. Is he gay?

18:05🔗 Drew At this point.

18:06🔗 Adam Well we fan Andy. Well he's not gay, he's just whatever.

18:09🔗 Drew He's trisexual.

18:11🔗 Adam Well Andy's like a dog.

18:13🔗 Drew Yeah, whatever.

18:14🔗 Adam He's bisexual. Whether he'll hump a guy dog, he'll hump a girl dog, or he'll hump a throw pillow.

18:19🔗 Drew He's bisexual.

18:20🔗 Adam It doesn't really matter. All right, Tina?

18:23🔗 Guest Yeah?

18:23🔗 Adam You're 15.

18:24🔗 Guest Yeah.

18:25🔗 Adam What's up?

18:26🔗 Guest I wanted to know the harms that can come to being anorexic.

18:29🔗 Adam Nothing. Perfectly healthy.

18:30🔗 Drew Death.

18:31🔗 Adam Or death.

18:32🔗 Drew Death.

18:33🔗 Guest Like my body won't freak out or anything?

18:35🔗 Drew Yes, you'll die.

18:37🔗 Guest What?

18:38🔗 Drew Death. Anorexia has a certain percentage of fatality rate, depending how you look at it. But a certain number of women with the bulimia, for instance, the death rate is about one in five.

18:47🔗 Adam Hey, let me, uh, Drew.

18:49🔗 Drew And there is chronic, all sorts of chronic disabilities. Infertility, softening of the bone, heart disturbances, kidney disease, disturbances in the stomach and esophagus.

18:59🔗 Adam How much do you weigh?

19:00🔗 Drew 130.

19:01🔗 Adam How tall are you?

19:04🔗 Drew You're overweight. Why don't you just get a dietician, get an exercise program going and lose some weight?

19:09🔗 Adam Well, it's not even really overweight, is it?

19:12🔗 Drew But if she wants to lose a little weight, lose the way that it will actually stay off, and you'll be healthy, and you can feel good about yourself, and look better. People with anorexia do not look good.

19:20🔗 Adam They die, anorexics? But not as many people who die of a secondhand smoke.

19:28🔗 Drew No, not nearly.

19:30🔗 Adam Not nearly, no, because that's epidemic.

19:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

19:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:34🔗 Adam I think that number would be going down with nobody smoking in any places anymore, but I still hear the commercials. Where are people getting the secondhand smoke then? They must be piping it in from individuals' living rooms into public places.

19:47🔗 Drew Somebody heard us talking about this the other night and went, what the hell are you guys talking about? And we have to always put this in context, which is, hey, for Cry Not Loud, every night we talk to people who have unwanted pregnancies, STDs, incredibly abusive, dysfunctional, decaying family systems. Where are the PSAs on that?

20:04🔗 Adam Well, as soon as we take care of airplane turbulence, computer theft at airports, and the scourge of secondhand smoke, which is killed. Well, according to their statistics, many Americans died in Vietnam. Because you know how many Americans died in Vietnam? About 53,000, 56,000 people. And according to the PSAs that I hear, well, they don't say that, but I'm doing the math. Vietnam, we lost like 50,000 in change over there. And that was over a course of maybe seven or eight years. So the tragedy of Vietnam, we lose just as many from secondhand smoke according to their statistics each year from secondhand smoke. Do you think that's a possibility?

20:51🔗 Drew No.

20:52🔗 Adam No, of course it's not. I'd like to sue them, by the way. Can you sue people who just sort of blurt out false information and statistics? Doesn't it seem like you should be able to hold them responsible?

21:04🔗 Drew It's the people that really need some help that should be suing.

21:06🔗 Adam Okay. Not me. Chris?

21:09🔗 Yeah.

21:10🔗 Adam You're 17?

21:11🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

21:11🔗 Adam What's up?

21:13🔗 Caller Last night, I was, yesterday actually, I was having sex with my girlfriend and the condom was bothering her. Yeah. She was trying to, but she couldn't go on, it was bothering her that much, so we stopped. Then she wanted to try without the condom and she said that was fine.

21:31🔗 Drew Was it lubricated?

21:33🔗 Caller Yeah, it was a spermicidal lubricated.

21:36🔗 Drew Maybe you ought to use more lubrication in addition to that.

21:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:39🔗 Drew Or perhaps she's having a reaction of the spermicide. Maybe some water-based lubricant with a dry condom would be.

21:44🔗 Adam Maybe it was the extra girth that the condom added.

21:47🔗 Caller Well, see, I wasn't sure because she just got over having a yeast infection like two weeks ago and I wasn't sure if there was something still up with that.

21:53🔗 Drew It's possible, but it's possible.

21:56🔗 Adam Yeah, a little yeasty on the peckeroo. Hey, Chris. Yeah. Yeah, use a little more lube on the condom next time, see what that does.

22:05🔗 Caller Okay.

22:06🔗 Adam I don't get her pregnant, though, right?

22:07🔗 Drew Wear the condom, all right? Are you that or figure something else out?

22:10🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what I was curious about.

22:14🔗 Adam She could get on the pill.

22:15🔗 Caller Yeah, she is already on the pill. I mean, we're very safe about it. We don't want to be one of the many people who call and are having like 20 different kids running around in the background.

22:22🔗 Adam Well, if she's on the pill and she's taking it, then you can probably lose the condom.

22:27🔗 Drew Right?

22:27🔗 Caller Yeah, I wouldn't feel safe. It's more for my benefit than hers.

22:31🔗 Drew Well, wait a minute. The pill is the most effective thing you can do. Okay?

22:36🔗 Caller Okay.

22:37🔗 Adam Listen, Chris.

22:38🔗 Caller Yes.

22:39🔗 Adam It's like the equivalent of you getting in a race car and saying, I'm going to wear two crash helmets. I feel scared. I'm playing it safe. I'm going to put a crash helmet over my crash helmet. It doesn't really make you any safer. It's sort of marginal. You know what I mean? You're already doing what you can do. She's on the pill. She's taking it. You trust her?

23:01🔗 Caller My girlfriend, after knowing her for a year and a half, not really.

23:05🔗 Adam If you don't trust her, then forget it.

23:07🔗 Drew Yeah, then wear the condom.

23:08🔗 Adam Good. All right. We'll take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Sally, who's 19, says she can't control her sexual urges. That's good. After this.

23:23🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

23:54🔗 Hey, yeah.

23:59🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla, that's my good partner, my bro, my main man, Dr. Drew over there.

24:05🔗 Drew Is there gonna be a little lightning tonight?

24:06🔗 Adam May be a little lightning round tonight. Yeah, what's up? I'm burning up the MIC, man, coast to coast. Yeah.

24:19🔗 Drew What would you give right now for just that thundersound outside?

24:22🔗 Adam Oh, it is so hot. I'm so mad at the gods, so mad at the weather gods.

24:29🔗 Drew I'm mad at humanity for putting a city here.

24:31🔗 Adam Yeah, it's really, it's been 106, 107, 108 every day and it's been human. It is all F and get out. But I'll tell you one thing I do enjoy. I enjoy driving home from framing the garage about 430 on the Ventura Freeway and looking at the people with the windows rolled down in the car and I think to myself, loser. Yeah, I got my windows up. I got my air going. Do I love that air?

25:00🔗 Drew Could you ever have a convertible now?

25:02🔗 Adam No.

25:02🔗 Drew You just couldn't do it, could you?

25:03🔗 Adam Well, first off, I look at myself. I figured I'd be assassinated if I drove around in a convertible. I do not like convertibles. I'm uncomfortable in convertibles.

25:11🔗 Drew Why would you be assassinated?

25:12🔗 Adam I don't like people looking at me.

25:14🔗 Drew I see.

25:15🔗 Adam And not me, because I got a TV show.

25:17🔗 Drew You just feel open.

25:18🔗 Adam I feel open. I never liked it. I mean, never owned a convertible, even when, before TV shows or whatever. It's got nothing to do with that. I just feel uncomfortable. Yeah. You know what's always weird to me, too, is there'll be some, like, hot chicks, some actress or something, and just tooling around, they all get convertibles, you know, like Britney Spears or someone. They get a convertible. I told them I saw Sharon Stone pull up in a convertible, and it's like, honey, what are you? Some guy is just going to jump in on that thing at a stop sign and just start raping you. I was like, what are you doing? I don't know. Maybe I'm paranoid. But the point is, I lived and worked in construction in Scott Forsaken Valley for so many years that, I get that air going in my car. It is so nice. I drive the air on at night. You got the air on at night?

26:06🔗 Drew Whatever. Well, it's 85 degrees out here.

26:09🔗 Adam I know. Oh, and you idiots are living in like a Flagstaff or Tucson or Palm Springs.

26:14🔗 Drew That's what I was thinking about.

26:15🔗 Adam You guys are borderline retarded. I mean, people who live in Southern California and don't live by the beach are merely stupid. But you guys are retards. Like, you know, when you go to Vegas, it's like 121 degrees, or you go to Tucson, and it's like 119.

26:30🔗 Drew But that culture is set up to deal with this.

26:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:33🔗 Drew Parking on the ground.

26:34🔗 Adam Just all retards.

26:35🔗 Drew Your car never heats up.

26:36🔗 Adam All retards.

26:37🔗 Drew You just never air-condition the car, you're just.

26:38🔗 Caller We park in the heat.

26:40🔗 Adam Sally?

26:41🔗 Drew Yeah?

26:41🔗 Adam Where are you calling from?

26:43🔗 Caller Tucson.

26:43🔗 Drew Oh.

26:46🔗 Caller They're stupid.

26:49🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:49🔗 Drew Tucson is hot. I've been there when it's hot.

26:51🔗 Adam You know the beauty of this show? We have no, we don't write anything on the screen. We have no idea who's calling from where. And it is ironic that you're calling from Tucson. How hot was it in Tucson today?

27:02🔗 Caller Well, it was really hot where I was at.

27:04🔗 Drew But insane hot, right?

27:06🔗 Caller Well, like the pavement was so hot that it was like melting through my boots.

27:11🔗 Adam Nice.

27:12🔗 Drew But in Tucson, it's like snow in Chicago or something. It's like, ah, no big deal.

27:17🔗 Adam Why are you doing that? You gotta move out of there.

27:19🔗 Caller I like it.

27:20🔗 Adam You like it when it's 119?

27:22🔗 Caller Well, I'm like you said, I've lived here like forever.

27:25🔗 Adam I know. You know what the thing is, is you chicks, you all work in malls. Can you imagine going out and working, doing like road work and going like digging up pavement or driving a backhoe or roofing or something when it's like 120?

27:38🔗 Caller I can imagine that.

27:39🔗 Adam It kill you.

27:40🔗 Caller I have a similar career.

27:42🔗 Adam What's your career?

27:42🔗 Caller I can't tell. It's just similar. It's outside.

27:46🔗 Drew Similar to roofing?

27:47🔗 Caller No, I don't like roof houses or anything, but I have a similar career.

27:51🔗 Adam What is your career? What's your career? What is it?

27:55🔗 Caller I can't tell.

27:56🔗 Drew It's a mechanic.

27:58🔗 Adam What do you work on?

28:00🔗 Caller Um, things.

28:02🔗 Caller Okay.

28:03🔗 Adam I'm going to... Sally, I'm going to put you on hold until you can talk to me. Things. Listen, let me explain something to all you a-holes who call this show who think you're some CIA operative. You work at a goddamn Midas checking brake calipers. It's not like you're some sort of attache to the United Nations or something. So don't give us that things. I don't like when people try to make their ass sound more important by adding a certain veil of secrecy to their work. She's 19. She lives in Tucson. What do you think she does? You think there's going to be some sort of threat to national security if she tells me that she works at a minicky brake shop? You know what I'm talking about?

28:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:45🔗 Adam Hey, Sally.

28:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:47🔗 Adam Where do you work?

28:48🔗 Caller Well, I just want to talk to people there are listening, so that's why.

28:51🔗 Adam All right. But what kind of work is it?

28:54🔗 Caller I install things.

28:56🔗 Adam All right. Back on hold.

28:58🔗 Caller Steve?

28:59🔗 Drew So I think of a way of describing it without divulging your identity.

29:04🔗 Adam I install things. Steve, you're 17.

29:08🔗 Drew Steve?

29:09🔗 Adam Steve?

29:10🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah, that's me.

29:11🔗 Adam What's up?

29:11🔗 Caller Okay. I got a question for each of you, actually. I'll start with Adam. Adam, did you ever find out what your chode was?

29:20🔗 Adam Well, I know what a chode is, a Mexican slang for penis, right?

29:25🔗 Caller Well, I meant like American-wise. It's like the center of your anus. Where the center of your anus, it's like-

29:33🔗 Drew This other person, this has been expressed to us several times.

29:36🔗 Adam Yeah, it's not your anus.

29:37🔗 Drew It's your penis. No, it's the between spot.

29:40🔗 Adam It's the bridge.

29:40🔗 Drew The perineum.

29:41🔗 Adam The chode?

29:42🔗 Yeah.

29:43🔗 Adam No, man, I'm telling you, I grew up in LA. Chode is your dingaling. It's bizarre being on radio. It's your private dingaling part.

29:56🔗 Yeah.

29:57🔗 Adam Chode is your penis.

30:00🔗 Drew Whatever.

30:01🔗 Adam Let me explain something, Steve. Chode is short for choda, and that's your dingaling. Somebody help us out with this.

30:11🔗 Drew The last time you said that, this is what we got back.

30:12🔗 Adam No, we got some, we need some Mexican guy to call the show.

30:17🔗 Caller All right.

30:18🔗 Adam What's up, Steve?

30:19🔗 Caller Good. Okay. Like the other day, I was masturbating, and I was like, oh, okay, well, I'm done. Let's try again. So it was still hard, and I came again, and so I went about my business, and then an hour or two later, I noticed there was blood in my underwear, and I was like, what's up with that? What is that?

30:37🔗 Drew Well, that is not all that uncommon, and it doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong.

30:42🔗 Adam We've got to take that photo ring off.

30:44🔗 Drew But it is something.

30:45🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Is this mic screwing up?

30:46🔗 Drew It's screwing around again over there.

30:47🔗 Adam Oh, nice.

30:48🔗 Drew But this is something you ought to have evaluated.

30:50🔗 Adam See if you can time it a little bit better so you can screw my joke up next time.

30:53🔗 Drew It could be epididymitis. It could be stone. It could be infection. Occasionally, it's tumor, but really, that's very unusual.

31:01🔗 Adam All right, so what should he do?

31:02🔗 Drew He should see a doctor, there should definitely be a urologist about it.

31:05🔗 Caller All right.

31:06🔗 Adam I'm thinking of getting back to Sally one more time.

31:08🔗 Caller All right.

31:09🔗 Adam Sally?

31:09🔗 Drew Yeah?

31:10🔗 Adam I realize you want to remain anonymous, but I have to know what you install.

31:15🔗 Caller I'm a car mechanic.

31:17🔗 Adam You work on cars?

31:18🔗 Drew That's good enough.

31:20🔗 Adam You do? Okay.

31:21🔗 Drew That's good enough.

31:22🔗 Caller It's like in a garage and it's hot, so.

31:24🔗 Caller Okay. All right. All right.

31:26🔗 Adam Let's do a little car test. What do you say?

31:27🔗 Drew All right, good.

31:29🔗 Adam You want to do that?

31:30🔗 Caller Well, I just started.

31:32🔗 Adam What's a harmonic balancer?

31:34🔗 Caller I don't know. I just started, really.

31:37🔗 Adam You know what's funny? I know I'm really going to get in trouble now, but one time I went into a, I was doing a bit for the man show and I went to a garage, and it was a gay garage. It was like a gay mechanic. I'm not a mechanic. I just know a lot about cars.

31:53🔗 Caller You?

31:54🔗 Adam Yeah, me.

31:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:55🔗 Adam The guy said, I'm gay and I'm a mechanic. I said, I refuse to believe that. He said, it's absolutely true. He's wearing a mechanic shirt. He's in the garage. I said, I bet I know more about cars than you do. Now, this guy, I went to his garage and he said, no way I'm a mechanic. So I gave him a little test. I said, look, you try me a couple. I'll try you a couple. I end up knowing more about cars and they end up admitting he was just a manager and actually work on the cars and I thought to myself, I'm always right. I thought my instincts are always, always right.

32:23🔗 You are my teacher.

32:24🔗 Adam This guy was gay. He couldn't have been a mechanic, I thought. Now, he was the manager of the garage.

32:29🔗 Drew That made sense.

32:30🔗 Adam And that made sense, but he said he was the mechanic and I still stumped him. All right, now we'll get to Sally.

32:35🔗 Drew So Sally, try to stump Adam.

32:37🔗 Adam You want to stump me?

32:39🔗 Caller Do what?

32:40🔗 Drew Try to stump him with a car question.

32:42🔗 Caller Huh?

32:43🔗 Drew Oh boy.

32:43🔗 Adam All right, just ask your question now.

32:45🔗 Caller Oh, okay. I have two questions, kind of. I was wondering if it's like normal if a girl doesn't get an orgasm right away?

32:54🔗 Adam Right away?

32:55🔗 Drew What do you mean right away?

32:55🔗 Caller Like, at all.

32:57🔗 Adam Never?

32:57🔗 Drew Like, ever.

32:58🔗 Caller Like, hardly ever.

32:59🔗 Adam Never had one?

33:01🔗 Caller Only like a couple times.

33:02🔗 Drew How did it happen?

33:03🔗 Caller When I was having sex.

33:05🔗 Drew I'll take it as never.

33:08🔗 Caller Well, I mean, like, I've only gotten it like twice, maybe.

33:10🔗 Adam You ever had one when you were on your own?

33:13🔗 Caller Um, no, not really.

33:15🔗 Drew No, Sally.

33:16🔗 Caller I had clothes, but I don't know. I think I have like some, I don't know. I think it's something in my own head. It's not the guy. It's just me.

33:23🔗 Adam Wait, do you have a boyfriend?

33:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:26🔗 Adam Does he do the oral sex thing?

33:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:28🔗 Adam Do you enjoy that?

33:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:31🔗 Caller But I like.

33:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:35🔗 Caller I don't know.

33:35🔗 Adam Why don't you try, why don't you try out the bathtub? That seems to be good for a lot of gals.

33:41🔗 Caller That's what I heard and I don't know. But then I have another question too like.

33:47🔗 Adam Okay. Well, listen, you didn't really ask the first one, but go in the bathtub, see what you can figure out over there, right?

33:52🔗 Caller Okay.

33:53🔗 Drew Well, you were about to say what it was you did like.

33:57🔗 Caller I was going to say, I mean, sex is fine and oral sex is fine too, but I think my favorite thing is like hands, and I think that's the closest I ever come to when I get.

34:08🔗 Adam Your hand or your boyfriend's hand?

34:11🔗 Caller Either.

34:11🔗 Adam All right. Why don't you instruct your boyfriend to use a little more hand on you?

34:16🔗 Caller Oh, okay. All right.

34:18🔗 Drew I just remember guys are clueless. Just keep that in mind. They don't magically know what to do. And as you mentioned earlier this evening, every woman is completely different.

34:27🔗 Adam Right. Completely different.

34:30🔗 Caller Okay. And my other question was that, like, it's not just me.

34:37🔗 Drew By the way, proof that I watched Love and Death again last night.

34:40🔗 Adam Good Woody Allen movie.

34:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:41🔗 Adam And Sally, what are the two measurements they use for cams?

34:47🔗 Caller I don't even know what that is. I just started like a week ago. Like, it's my brother's garage. He owned it.

34:52🔗 Caller All right.

34:52🔗 Adam But you're a mechanic.

34:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:53🔗 Caller Like, I just started there, though. Like, I'm being trained as a mechanic.

34:56🔗 Caller All right.

34:57🔗 Adam Lift and duration.

34:58🔗 Drew And Love and Death said that if there is a guy, the most you can say about him is a significant underachiever. And, you know, guys clueless, women all different. Right. It could be any further apart.

35:08🔗 Adam Sally.

35:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:09🔗 Adam Last question. Go ahead.

35:10🔗 Caller Oh, like, I have these, like, really huge, like, sexual urges. And if I was a man, I would have, like, a heart on, like, 24-7. Because, like, I like I'm so obsessed with sex that I, like, have to have it, like, all the time. And my younger sister is like that, too. And, like, we talk about it all the time. And, like, we just we watch every time we see, like, on TV, we get, like, so.

35:32🔗 Adam But, Sally, meanwhile, you're not having orgasms.

35:35🔗 Caller No, but I have to, like, I feel.

35:36🔗 Adam OK, listen, listen, here's my advice. A, don't get pregnant. What are you using for protection?

35:43🔗 Caller Nothing.

35:43🔗 Adam OK. Listen, genius. You, you, a mechanic who doesn't know what a cam is or a harmonic balancer, you're going to get pregnant. You know what a condom is?

35:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:53🔗 Adam All right. That, that. Listen to me. You're going to get pregnant. And you're not even going to have an orgasm.

35:59🔗 Drew And get, get a boyfriend to work this stuff out.

36:01🔗 Adam She's got a boyfriend. Start using protection. You've got to get on the pill, Sally. You're going to get pregnant.

36:06🔗 Caller Well, I thought about that, but.

36:07🔗 Drew Oh, then do it.

36:08🔗 Adam But what?

36:09🔗 Drew Get on the pill.

36:10🔗 Adam Get on the pill, screwball. Get on the pill, and then we'll work on the orgasms. Tyler, you fart on command? Yep.

36:19🔗 Drew This is your time.

36:20🔗 Adam Oh, this is my time. Hey, buddy.

36:24🔗 Caller Hey, and Adam, I want to say, well, I'm living in Tucson right now.

36:27🔗 Adam Oh, you idiot.

36:29🔗 Caller And guess where I moved from?

36:31🔗 Adam The hub of hell.

36:33🔗 Drew Carlsbad.

36:33🔗 Adam Oh, my God. I was going to say Death Valley. Yes, you people live, it's like retarded. I was in Vegas two weeks ago, it was 170 degrees. I was thinking, what are you idiots thinking who live here?

36:46🔗 Caller And then I have to go out and play football.

36:50🔗 Adam I'm going to kill myself for you, Tyler. What about that?

36:53🔗 All right.

36:55🔗 Caller Here we go. Yeah.

36:57🔗 Adam You know what I decided I was going to do last night? Fake my own death and then kill myself. There's subtle differences. Think about them.

37:06🔗 Caller Tyler, go.

37:06🔗 Adam Let's have a big fart, buddy.

37:07🔗 Caller Here you go.

37:08🔗 Yeah.

37:15🔗 Caller Hold on.

37:24🔗 Adam Oh, man. Hold on a second, Tyler. We gotta go to break, but I wanna hear another one when I come back. Now you know that was real because there's a good 10 minute pause before the time he said listen up and the time something came out of his ass. We'll be back with Tyler and his amazing ass after this.

37:42🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

38:22🔗 Adam Oh, it's Loveline, Adam Carolla, as I drew over their phone number, 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1.

38:29🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

38:30🔗 Adam Hey, listen, everybody. Buckle up because we got ourselves a lightning round. There's a storm brewing tonight, and his name is Ace Rockolla.

38:39🔗 Caller Yay!

38:40🔗 Adam I'm going to dedicate this lightning round to our phone screener, Danielle, who wants me but doesn't know it.

38:49🔗 Drew She submerged it so thoroughly that she's actually repulsed.

38:53🔗 Adam Yeah, she's pushing it away.

38:54🔗 Caller Yikes.

38:57🔗 Adam She's into me because she thinks I may be Jewish, I think. I'm oftentimes mistaken for a Jew because of the nappy hair and sense of humor.

39:07🔗 Drew Yes, indeed.

39:08🔗 Adam And bushy eyebrows. Alex?

39:12🔗 Yeah.

39:12🔗 Adam You're 15, what's up?

39:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I was just wondering how come a lot of the girls that I meet, none of them have any fathers and stuff?

39:21🔗 Adam Yeah. Nobody has any dads anymore.

39:24🔗 Drew Right, I've said it's awfully common these days, but do you feel like you're attracted to people that have issues around that?

39:30🔗 Caller Oh yeah, I think so, because every girl that I'm attracted to, even I'll meet girls and they're cool, but I don't know, these other girls that I'm really attracted to, they don't have dads.

39:43🔗 Drew So there's something maybe you see in them, or you feel from them, that you're attracted to.

39:48🔗 Caller Yeah, I wasn't too sure.

39:50🔗 Drew Is your, just out of curiosity, your mom, addict, alcoholic, anything like that going on? Is there a reason you'd be sort of-

39:57🔗 Caller My uncle was an alcoholic.

39:59🔗 Drew Is that your mom's brother?

40:00🔗 Caller No.

40:01🔗 Drew No. Is there any reason that you'd be sort of prone to want to rescue people, or be a caretaker?

40:08🔗 Caller I don't think so.

40:09🔗 Adam All right, well listen, maybe you're just getting what you can get. You're 15, all bets are off. It's hard to establish a pattern of dating at 15. It seems how you started dating at 14 and three quarters. You know what I'm saying? Plus, half the people now, their parents are divorced anyway. But listen here, fellas. Let me tell you something about women who don't like daddy. You're screwed because you are daddy. The male becomes daddy in a relationship. I know that sounds like hell. I mean, I know it sounds like I'm giving women zero credit.

40:49🔗 Drew Oh, men do the same stuff.

40:49🔗 Adam When they deserve 5 percent credit. Men have their own ass. But for women, you as a man in that relationship are daddy. Now, I'm not saying she calls you by her dad's name or sees dad when she sees you, but she will relate to you that way. And you say to a woman, do you love your dad? And she says, yes, very much. You're in good shape. And if she says, that son of a bitch, I hope he rots, I hope he gets raped in prison, you're screwed. Believe me, you are.

41:20🔗 Drew There's an intermediate ground, which actually most people fall into, where they don't have a consistent sense of dad. Dads either sort of all bad or all good. And yes, at different times, you can trigger each. Probably your stripper girlfriend did this stuff.

41:34🔗 Adam Thank you.

41:34🔗 Drew Did she?

41:36🔗 Adam With her dad?

41:37🔗 Drew In other words, you would either be all idealized and all good or all bad.

41:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Mostly bad.

41:41🔗 Drew No consistency, right? No good and bad in one person.

41:45🔗 Adam She wasn't crazy about her dad.

41:46🔗 Drew Right.

41:47🔗 Adam Now, your wife's dad owns a hardware store.

41:50🔗 Drew Yeah.

41:50🔗 Adam You lucky son of a bitch. Oh, my God. Totally squandered.

41:55🔗 Drew On me?

41:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Totally squandered. It would be like, you know what would be this equivalent? This is equivalent to somebody's father-in-law owning Caesar's Palace and you being a Jehovah's Witness or like a shaker, quaker, or something. You've got a beard with no mustache, you're being pulled along by a horse, and this guy owns Caesar's Palace.

42:20🔗 Drew Amish.

42:21🔗 Adam And you've never been there before.

42:23🔗 Drew I can't go there unless the horse and buggy pulls me.

42:25🔗 Adam Right.

42:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

42:26🔗 Adam Shakers and quakers are pretty bad too, aren't they?

42:30🔗 Drew I don't know.

42:30🔗 Adam They make like butter.

42:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

42:31🔗 Adam I don't think there's a big difference between a quaker and an Amish guy.

42:34🔗 Drew I think that's some of the same heritage.

42:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:36🔗 Drew I think.

42:37🔗 Adam Same folks. Yeah. What do you think Anderson? We'll look into it. All right. You're screwed. So anyway, this guy has a whole hardware store and you've never been in it.

42:44🔗 Drew Oh, I've been in it.

42:45🔗 Adam Yeah, but you don't know what's going on.

42:46🔗 Drew No.

42:47🔗 Adam You could care less.

42:49🔗 Drew No.

42:49🔗 Adam Squandered. Completely squandered. He would love me. He would love me like the son-in-law he never had. All right. Where are we going over here? Up here? Kitty?

43:01🔗 Guest Uh-huh.

43:01🔗 Adam You're 16?

43:02🔗 Guest Yeah.

43:03🔗 Adam What's up?

43:04🔗 Guest Basically, I just want to know like how I could make the sex of my boyfriend better because like it's good for him, I'm sure, but it's not that great for me.

43:13🔗 Drew How old is he?

43:14🔗 Guest 16.

43:15🔗 Adam Yeah, that's tough. He's got a few years to go.

43:20🔗 Drew Just for kicks, what is it that is a problem for you?

43:25🔗 Guest Well, okay, like the first two times we did it, it wasn't that great because like we were both virgins.

43:30🔗 Drew Right.

43:31🔗 Guest Then the next couple of times, it was pretty good and I had orgasm, but like the last three times, it like just wasn't.

43:37🔗 Drew What was the problem?

43:38🔗 Guest I don't know.

43:39🔗 I don't even know.

43:40🔗 Guest It just like-

43:41🔗 Adam Are you into him?

43:42🔗 Guest Yeah, totally.

43:43🔗 Adam What was different about his technique the fourth time than the third time?

43:48🔗 I don't know.

43:49🔗 Guest Maybe he wasn't into it. Maybe he was tired or something. I don't know.

43:53🔗 Drew How did that get translated? What did you experience?

43:58🔗 Guest I don't know. It's like he just wasn't trying or something. He was just like, okay, we're doing this because we always do or something.

44:08🔗 Adam On the fourth go around?

44:11🔗 Guest Yeah. More than that.

44:14🔗 Adam The fourth time you got together?

44:16🔗 Guest No. About around. The fourth or fifth.

44:20🔗 Adam Shut up.

44:21🔗 Drew Come on.

44:22🔗 Adam I can't take it anymore. On the fourth go around? No. It was more than that. The fourth time you were together? No. Well, yeah. Well, no. It was like the fourth time. No. Shut up. I'm done talking to you.

44:35🔗 Drew Come on. Give her a chance.

44:36🔗 Adam No.

44:36🔗 Drew Get her back.

44:39🔗 Why?

44:39🔗 Adam I just said the fourth god damn time you guys had sex and she couldn't, she was like, she couldn't. It took her ten minutes to go, yeah, it was the fourth time. I can't do this.

44:48🔗 Drew I'm just delighted that the answer to you is no, not just me. Remember that used to happen only to me all the time?

44:55🔗 Adam The fourth time you had sex, it wasn't that good, right?

44:58🔗 Guest Right.

44:58🔗 Adam Okay. Why do I got to squeeze you like a bar rag to get that out of you?

45:02🔗 Guest I don't know. It's just, I think everybody likes to make you angry.

45:05🔗 Adam I know. You know what I don't understand? Why is it when you're hit with the right answer, do you deny it? Do you know what I mean? Like if someone said, how tall are you? Six, two? I'd tell them yes.

45:17🔗 Drew I wouldn't go, oh, I know what it is. You've been sounding a lot more like Pops Corolla.

45:23🔗 Adam Listen, listen, kiddies. I don't give a rat's ass who I sound like.

45:28🔗 Drew I understand. But for the last couple of years, it was always me. I was the man. Remember?

45:32🔗 Adam Now, I'm the man.

45:33🔗 Drew Now, you're the man.

45:35🔗 Adam That's right. All right. So anyway, hey, kitty. Why don't you, I don't know. He had a couple of good outings, a couple of bad outings.

45:44🔗 Drew You got to be able to communicate to him what was good.

45:46🔗 Adam Tell him what you like.

45:47🔗 Drew Yeah. What was good about the time when it was good.

45:50🔗 Guest Okay. Just tell him that?

45:51🔗 Drew Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

45:52🔗 Guest Listen.

45:52🔗 Adam Tell him what you like.

45:53🔗 Drew We said just a half hour ago how clueless guys are and how different women are from one another.

45:58🔗 Adam We don't mind hearing it.

45:59🔗 Drew I do, but other guys don't. Women, I think, somehow, a guy asking questions spoils things. Guys want information. It spoils nothing.

46:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

46:09🔗 Drew Right? Am I right?

46:11🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, there's limits to it.

46:14🔗 Drew You don't want to be like a stopper.

46:16🔗 Adam Well, you don't want to go like, when Dirk used to bang me, he'd do it like this. You don't want to do that. I've never been with a woman. What you want to say, here's what you want to do. You want to make things seem like it was their idea. You know what I mean?

46:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:31🔗 Adam Hey, last time when you did this, that was great. Then they go, oh, I did that last time?

46:37🔗 Drew You don't want to be critical.

46:39🔗 Adam Just tell him what they want and he's fine. That guy is 16, he's bored of sex. James? James. Caller goes by the name of James, he's 15. Wants to know if it's safe to put lighter fluid on his hand and light it. Okay?

46:53🔗 Hey, what's up?

46:54🔗 Adam Hey. Yes, it's fine.

46:56🔗 Caller Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:57🔗 Hey, we are the absolute biggest fans of you, man.

47:01🔗 Adam Oh, really?

47:02🔗 Yes.

47:02🔗 Adam I see.

47:03🔗 Caller Hell, yeah.

47:04🔗 Yeah, okay, my buddy's here, Pat.

47:06🔗 Adam I got the guys who light themselves on fire, our big fans of mine.

47:09🔗 Drew No, no, they don't just do it, they wonder if it's okay.

47:12🔗 Caller We haven't done it yet, we're planning on it.

47:14🔗 Drew Why, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

47:16🔗 Caller We're, no, just like, okay.

47:18🔗 Adam How much you do you want to light on fire?

47:20🔗 Caller Just my hand.

47:20🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, that's cool. I used to do it with rubbing alcohol all the time.

47:24🔗 Drew Seriously?

47:25🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a big deal.

47:26🔗 Drew What?

47:27🔗 Adam It just burns off the rubbing alcohol.

47:28🔗 Yeah, that's what we thought. Because we did it with the leaf.

47:30🔗 Drew Wait a minute, that's true.

47:31🔗 We did it with the leaf and the leaf didn't even get singed.

47:34🔗 Adam Oh, you pussies did it with a leaf? Then what are you going to do, work your way up to like a hamster and then a raccoon? Wait a minute, James.

47:41🔗 Drew Come on, don't be such a pussy. It obviously gets hot because even charcoal lights gets hot.

47:48🔗 Adam Let me explain something. I don't want to send too dangerous a message to the kids, but I put rubbing alcohol in my hand, lit on fire, a ton of times when I was a kid. Doesn't do anything. When it does, you just blow it out. Okay, listen, we got to take a break. Don't anyone do this during the commercial and then we'll come back.

48:08🔗 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:55🔗 Ha ha ha.

48:56🔗 Adam Anderson's really into his job. I thought I was going to do that one where there was that pause, and I was going to have to break wind in between it, but I love that riff. All right, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This doctor really got a lightning round coming up tonight, so you kiddies are going to want to stay tuned in for that. I'm dedicating that to phone screener Danielle.

49:18🔗 Caller Ow!

49:19🔗 Adam Hope, you're 25?

49:21🔗 Caller Right.

49:22🔗 Adam What's up?

49:23🔗 Caller I had my tongue pierced on Wednesday, and it bled for like four hours, and then since then, I haven't felt very good, and it doesn't seem quite right to me, and I'm wondering if maybe they hit something wrong or what might have happened.

49:37🔗 Drew What doesn't seem right?

49:39🔗 Caller Well, I had it done a couple years ago, and then decided to let it close, and it didn't bleed at all afterwards. At this time, it bled for like four hours, and it didn't start to swell until after it was done bleeding. And then afterwards, last time, I didn't feel any pain, and I still am in pain, and I don't feel very good, like my glands are swollen in my neck.

50:02🔗 Drew Boy, well, that's a sign of infection.

50:03🔗 Caller Okay.

50:04🔗 Drew So at least inflammation.

50:07🔗 Adam Is it the lingual artery that's in there? Is that the lung artery?

50:10🔗 Drew Yeah. But you didn't hit that. No, that would not have closed.

50:13🔗 Adam All right. Hey, stop screwing with your mouth, Hope. What are you doing, honey?

50:18🔗 Drew And by the way, that is, A, it's where your airway is and it can close off very easily. B, it's near your brain and infection as it gets into your head and neck can be just devastating.

50:30🔗 Adam Yeah.

50:31🔗 Drew So it's really- All right. What should you do? I would see a doctor. Me, I would certainly also call the place that did it, make sure you're doing the proper care. And then I would see a doctor, madam, because he may need some antibiotics at minimum and or get the damn thing out.

50:45🔗 Adam Amanda?

50:46🔗 Guest Yeah.

50:46🔗 Adam You're 15?

50:47🔗 Guest Yeah.

50:48🔗 Caller What's up?

50:50🔗 Guest My boyfriend that I have now.

50:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:52🔗 Guest I'm not allowed to talk to him. Well, my mom's boyfriend told me I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore.

50:57🔗 Drew Yeah. How old is he?

50:59🔗 Guest 16.

51:01🔗 Drew How come?

51:02🔗 Guest And they told me that if I don't quit talking to him or whatever, that they're going to get somebody to beat him up.

51:09🔗 Adam I see.

51:09🔗 Guest Like Toro will be afraid to talk to me or whatever.

51:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:12🔗 Drew Why? Why are they so upset with him?

51:15🔗 Guest I don't know. It's like they met him like, he's met him once.

51:20🔗 Adam And his bow tie was a little crooked.

51:21🔗 Drew Yeah. His kerchief wasn't properly folded.

51:25🔗 Adam Was that it?

51:26🔗 Guest I don't know.

51:27🔗 Adam He is a ascot. His tie was tied in a Windsor instead of a double Windsor.

51:32🔗 Guest I really don't know.

51:34🔗 Adam I see. And so they just don't like him.

51:42🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

51:44🔗 Adam So there's no reason. They just don't like him.

51:47🔗 Drew No, they're bad people and they don't like anybody.

51:48🔗 Adam Oh, they're bad people and they don't like anybody?

51:51🔗 Guest Well, I don't know. They're like, they're like, ah crap. They tell me who I can and can't hang out with.

52:00🔗 Adam Right.

52:01🔗 Guest Like, I don't know. They say they're not racist and stuff, but yet I'm not allowed to hang out with black people or something. And it's like kind of hard because I live in the middle of Covington and everything.

52:12🔗 Adam Oh, Covington. It's a very black area, Covington.

52:16🔗 Guest Yeah. And I'm like, because there's like a bunch of guys up here that I hang out with sometimes.

52:20🔗 Adam Covington, Detroit?

52:22🔗 Guest No, Kentucky.

52:24🔗 Adam Oh, Kentucky.

52:25🔗 Guest Yeah.

52:26🔗 Adam Covington is a black area of Kentucky?

52:29🔗 Guest I don't know.

52:31🔗 Adam Hey, Amanda?

52:32🔗 Guest Yeah.

52:32🔗 Adam Hang on. I know I go through this and maybe I'm just going insane, but do people know they're on a national radio show or they're kind of calm and chatting, you know? So why don't your parents like your boyfriend? You know? Oh, so I live in Covington. There's a lot of black people. Black is Covington, the black part of Kentucky. I don't know. Do I got to put up with that?

53:02🔗 Drew Yes.

53:03🔗 Adam Oh, I do? I don't put her on hold for a while.

53:05🔗 Drew She already hung up.

53:07🔗 Adam Oh, she did? Good.

53:09🔗 Drew Oh, no. There she is.

53:10🔗 Adam Amanda, just hang on for like 40 minutes. Thanks.

53:15🔗 Guest Hello.

53:16🔗 Adam You're 14?

53:17🔗 Guest Yes. I think I masturbate so much.

53:20🔗 Adam Yeah. What are you good for?

53:23🔗 Guest Ten times a day.

53:25🔗 Adam That's a little light.

53:26🔗 Guest It is?

53:27🔗 Adam Hey, can you turn your radio down?

53:29🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm ready to leave the room.

53:30🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

53:31🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

53:33🔗 Adam Okay. Listen. Hey, Amanda? Yeah?

53:35🔗 Drew Amanda sees goods right now.

53:36🔗 Adam You're lucky there's someone that's dumber than you or is on the next line. All right. Now, why? Okay. Now, here's a better way of doing it. If I asked your mother and mother's boyfriend why they didn't like your boyfriend, what would they say?

53:53🔗 Guest I guess they don't like his attitude.

53:56🔗 Adam And why wouldn't they like his attitude?

53:59🔗 Guest I don't know.

54:00🔗 Adam Oh, there you go.

54:01🔗 Drew I don't know.

54:02🔗 Adam See you, honey. See you. Have fun. Listen, you idiots, what the F do you want us to do? What do you want us to do? Do you want us to fly over there and have a little sit down with your mom's boyfriend and your mom and your boyfriend? I don't... hold on a second. It's like, you know, they don't like my boyfriend. Why not? I don't know. Well, if they were to tell us what they didn't like, what would they say? His attitude. OK, what's up with his attitude? I don't know. You know what? Screw you. Good. Have fun. Hey, Amanda, you've been on hold for 60 minutes. Have fun. Idiots. Robert, you're 20.

54:49🔗 Caller Yes.

54:49🔗 Adam What's up?

54:50🔗 Caller OK. I started dating this girl back in May. She'd been dating somebody else exclusively for seven months, but we started dating. And while we dated, we broke up a month and a half later, and we've still been keeping romantic contact, kissing, holding hands, sleeping together at night, and things like this. I've come to find out she cuts herself. So normally, we do it on the rib cage, right below the breast or on the arm. She says she started this when she was 13, and she says it's her way of releasing stress when there's too much stress.

55:19🔗 Drew Right, that's what cutters do.

55:20🔗 Caller And come to find out she's finally told me that she hears voices that tell her to cut herself. And she's really uncomfortable talking about it usually, and she won't go in to seek counseling because she's afraid she'll be institutionalized as label is crazy. And come to find out later, she has these things that she thinks is sleepwalking. She's always been fine with touching other people in a sexual manner. What?

55:46🔗 Drew She's been what?

55:47🔗 Caller She's always been fine like going down on a guy or giving him a hand job or something.

55:51🔗 Adam She's been fine with that?

55:52🔗 Caller Yeah, she's comfortable doing that. But when somebody touches her sexually, she's a little uncomfortable with it usually.

55:57🔗 Adam This is superwoman.

55:59🔗 Caller And so...

55:59🔗 Adam She got a sister?

56:01🔗 Caller Yeah, with the sisters married. But when she touched her sexually, this has happened more with the other guy she was dating than me.

56:09🔗 Caller Right.

56:10🔗 Caller When he touches her sexually, she'll start to freak out every time. And be like, OK, we need to stop. And then lay down and start to go to sleep. And she'll wake up about 30 seconds later, and she'll be her 13-year-old self. She thinks it's sleepwalking.

56:26🔗 Adam Yeah. OK, Robert.

56:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:28🔗 Adam OK. This person has suffered a lot of trauma in her life.

56:32🔗 Caller That's what we think. She initially had sex at age 14. It was the first time.

56:36🔗 Drew No, before that.

56:37🔗 Adam Something's up.

56:37🔗 Drew Before that.

56:38🔗 Adam Much bigger than the age of 14.

56:40🔗 Drew This is a dissociative disorder at minimum.

56:43🔗 Caller That's what, I mean, that's what some psychologists had told me.

56:46🔗 Drew It's a dissociative disorder at minimum, and she's hallucinating, which means there's a thought problem also and a biological problem. And this is major league, and she's cutting, and could hurt herself or hurt somebody else. She must come under care.

56:59🔗 Adam Now, this is your girlfriend right now?

57:00🔗 Caller Well, no. We broke up after a month and a half, but we've kept extremely, we are still dating, basically.

57:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, Robert, you gotta get, you what?

57:11🔗 Caller We've even talked about marriage and stuff, we're extremely close.

57:14🔗 Adam Who, you and the 13-year-old, she becomes or her?

57:16🔗 Caller No, her, her 19-year-old.

57:18🔗 Drew This is, when you say dissociative disorder, we're talking about multiple personality disorder.

57:22🔗 Adam Hey, Robert?

57:23🔗 Caller Yes.

57:23🔗 Drew Or a type of that.

57:24🔗 Adam Don't marry her, please, and get her to some help, because she's not in good shape.

57:31🔗 Caller What's the best way y'all can recommend getting her to help? I mean, if we try to-

57:34🔗 Adam Tranquilize her gun, she pulls back away.

57:36🔗 Drew What about advising to go in together?

57:41🔗 Adam Tell her there's a party. You plan a surprise party for her.

57:44🔗 Drew Or tell her how much you care about her and that you think she's suffering with this and it should be treated.

57:49🔗 Adam Whatever it is, you got to do it.

57:50🔗 Drew Yeah. You can create consequences if she doesn't.

57:53🔗 Adam Don't get married for a little while.

57:54🔗 Drew Well, I don't have the relationship to say, look, if we're going to have this relationship, you've got to be seeing somebody else. I won't participate in this.

58:01🔗 Adam Shayla?

58:02🔗 Guest Yeah, I'm still here.

58:03🔗 Adam You're 14, so you masturbate 10 times a day.

58:06🔗 Guest Yeah.

58:06🔗 Adam 10 times a day?

58:08🔗 Guest Uh-huh.

58:09🔗 Adam So do you have 10 orgasms a day?

58:13🔗 Guest I have multiple. I can orgasm up to three times or three, four times per masturbation.

58:21🔗 Drew So you may have 30 times a day.

58:23🔗 Adam You may have 30, 40 orgasms a day?

58:25🔗 Guest Yeah.

58:25🔗 Adam If I did that, I would shoot my lower intestines out of my penis. My guts would come out of my penis. Yeah. It wouldn't be pretty, but it might be worth it.

58:35🔗 Drew Eventually your thorax would follow, right?

58:37🔗 Adam That's right.

58:38🔗 Guest Do you think I need to go get help?

58:39🔗 Drew What? Is there any bipolar illness or anything like that in your family? Manic depression?

58:44🔗 Guest A lot of my friends think that I might be manic, and they told me to go get like a therapist or something.

58:50🔗 Adam What technique do you use? Finger?

58:54🔗 Guest No.

58:55🔗 Adam Bathtub?

58:56🔗 Guest No.

58:57🔗 Drew Vibrator.

58:57🔗 Adam Vibrator?

58:59🔗 Caller No.

59:00🔗 Adam Cimbrero?

59:01🔗 Guest No. It's actually the souvenir baseball bat I got a couple years back.

59:07🔗 Adam Oh, Bat Day over at the stadium?

59:09🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:10🔗 Adam Nice.

59:12🔗 Guest I mean, it's not a regular sized bat.

59:15🔗 Caller It's smaller.

59:16🔗 Adam Yeah, I know.

59:17🔗 Drew They give away that little bat. Dodgers?

59:20🔗 Adam Which stadium?

59:23🔗 Guest Texas Stadium. Not Texas Stadium. The ballpark in Arlington.

59:27🔗 Adam Oh, is it the Rangers?

59:29🔗 Guest Yeah.

59:29🔗 Adam Oh, so during Bat Day? You're lucky you weren't there during helmet night. That'd be a bitch. Stuffing that thing up in you, Drew, you know?

59:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:42🔗 Adam Well, just for fun, just because it's going to be funny, who'd you go to a game with that night?

59:47🔗 Guest I didn't go to a game. It was like a field trip that we were going to on that particular school year.

59:55🔗 Adam Did you go to a game?

59:56🔗 Guest No, we explored the newly built ballpark in Arlington.

1:00:01🔗 Adam Ah, I see. And they gave you a little bat.

1:00:03🔗 Drew Explored.

1:00:03🔗 Adam Just what they had in mind, I'm sure.

1:00:06🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:00:06🔗 Adam This will go nice on your vagina. Is that what they said when they handed it to you?

1:00:11🔗 Guest No.

1:00:12🔗 Adam All right. Which side of the bat are you using?

1:00:15🔗 Guest The fuller side, the side that...

1:00:17🔗 Adam The business end?

1:00:18🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:00:19🔗 Drew All right, Shayla.

1:00:20🔗 Adam Because you don't want to get any of that pine tar on you, huh?

1:00:23🔗 Drew Shayla.

1:00:24🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:00:25🔗 Drew There are a couple of possibilities here.

1:00:26🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Using the bat.

1:00:28🔗 Drew There's either sexual compulsive, which means you had some sort of sexual trauma in childhood, or sexual abuse, that sort of thing.

1:00:35🔗 Adam Where are you?

1:00:36🔗 Guest Well, my dad sometimes sticks his hands down my pants, to get up my shirt.

1:00:41🔗 Adam All right. When does he do this?

1:00:45🔗 Guest Like at night before he goes off to bed.

1:00:47🔗 Adam Does he still do this?

1:00:48🔗 Guest Yes.

1:00:49🔗 Drew All right. You need to call somebody about this. Oh, baby. And or bipolar illness will also cause this at times if you're manic. But listen.

1:00:57🔗 Adam How long has he been doing this?

1:00:58🔗 Guest For a couple of years.

1:01:00🔗 Adam Can you tell him to stop?

1:01:01🔗 Guest Yeah, I've told him to stop, but he won't.

1:01:04🔗 Adam He won't. And he does this how often?

1:01:08🔗 Guest Like, sometimes he'll do it once a month if he's like being a good dad to me. But if he's not, he'll do it a couple of times a week.

1:01:20🔗 Drew Oh, jeez. All right, here's a phone number.

1:01:22🔗 Adam You know, Drew, you can see a couple of times a month with your kids, right? But a couple of times a week, that's pushing it. Hey, Shayla?

1:01:29🔗 Guest Yes?

1:01:29🔗 Adam Listen to me, okay? Your dad is a guy who has some serious problems, all right? It's not your fault, but he has problems. One day, when you get a little distance from this, and your dad and the house and everything, you'll understand just how serious his problems are, all right?

1:01:50🔗 Guest Okay.

1:01:51🔗 Adam What's going on with you is not a normal thing, and I'm sorry it's happening to you, but you got to do something about it now because you're getting to be a young lady, and it's time for you to take care of yourself, all right?

1:02:02🔗 Guest Okay.

1:02:03🔗 Adam All right. Can you write down a phone number, please?

1:02:07🔗 Guest Sure.

1:02:08🔗 Adam Do you have a pad and pencil?

1:02:12🔗 Guest Dang it, I got to go in my room to go get that.

1:02:14🔗 Adam Well, where are you now?

1:02:15🔗 Guest In my bathroom.

1:02:17🔗 Adam Oh, okay. And you don't have anything you're writing? Go get it. Well, hang on.

1:02:23🔗 Guest Okay.

1:02:24🔗 Adam All right?

1:02:24🔗 Guest Okay.

1:02:25🔗 Adam All right.

1:02:26🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

1:02:27🔗 Adam Listen, what's up with ads like this? I mean, it's the most bizarre. To me, these are people that need to be killed, by the way, because it is an instinct that is worse than any possible instinct ever. And I've said it a million times, killing people instinctually is not as effed up as this.

1:02:47🔗 Drew Yeah. Right.

1:02:48🔗 Adam It really isn't.

1:02:49🔗 Drew That's right.

1:02:50🔗 Adam Even serial killing is not as effed up as going at your own kids sexually.

1:02:54🔗 Guest I have it.

1:02:56🔗 Adam You have a pencil?

1:02:57🔗 Drew All right. 800.

1:02:59🔗 Adam What kind of pencil is it?

1:03:01🔗 Guest I have a pen. It's a pilot pen.

1:03:03🔗 Adam Good. I just want to make sure. Go ahead.

1:03:06🔗 Drew 800.

1:03:07🔗 Guest Okay. I have it.

1:03:08🔗 Drew 540.

1:03:10🔗 Guest 540.

1:03:12🔗 Drew 4,000.

1:03:15🔗 Guest And what do I put as where I'm calling?

1:03:18🔗 Adam Well, don't write anything next to that number because I don't want anyone finding it around your house. You know what I'm saying? You just call them up and tell them about-

1:03:29🔗 Drew Just tell them the story about your dad.

1:03:31🔗 Adam About your dad. Don't worry about the masturbation story for now, right?

1:03:35🔗 Guest Okay.

1:03:35🔗 Adam All right.

1:03:36🔗 Drew I'm going to give you one more number just so you have a couple of them. 800.

1:03:40🔗 Guest 800.

1:03:41🔗 Drew 422. 422. 4453.

1:03:46🔗 Guest 4453.

1:03:49🔗 Drew 1-800-4-8-child. Okay?

1:03:53🔗 Adam All right, Shayla.

1:03:55🔗 Guest Thank you.

1:03:55🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:56🔗 Adam Oh, I'll tell you. Breaks my heart. Anyway, I want to talk about the nailing schedule on the plywood on my garage for a minute, if I could.

1:04:04🔗 Drew Go ahead.

1:04:04🔗 Adam It's been heartbreaking.

1:04:05🔗 Drew Yeah. Why?

1:04:07🔗 Adam Well.

1:04:07🔗 Drew Did you screw up? Did you screw up to get it off a little bit?

1:04:11🔗 Adam No. I'm just trying to change the subject so I don't cry. What the hell is up with this people? What is going on? Oh, this poor Shayla. Hey, listen, guys. I hate to ruin it for everybody, but next time you go to a strip club and you're enjoying yourself, this is who you're talking to. I hate that. But I'm going anyway. Stacey? You're 15?

1:04:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:38🔗 Adam What's up?

1:04:39🔗 Caller Well, I met this guy because I barely started my freshman year at high school. This guy was a junior and I had him for my class. Well, I talked to him at first and he's tied me to go to his house and everything. On the couple of last days of school, I went with him. I lost my virginity to him and now I'm pregnant and I'm afraid to tell him because I'm afraid he's going to deny it.

1:05:16🔗 Adam But you really summed it all up. It's like, hey, I went to school and then I met this guy and then I went back to his house and then I lost my virginity and now I'm pregnant. Wow. These are right children's books. So how pregnant are you?

1:05:32🔗 Drew Four months.

1:05:33🔗 Adam Oh, did she say four months ago?

1:05:35🔗 Drew End of school?

1:05:35🔗 Caller No, two months.

1:05:37🔗 Adam Two months. See, genius. All right. So what do you want to do?

1:05:41🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:05:42🔗 Caller I'm afraid.

1:05:44🔗 Adam What are you afraid of?

1:05:45🔗 Caller I'm afraid of him.

1:05:46🔗 Drew Why?

1:05:47🔗 Adam Why are you afraid of him?

1:05:48🔗 Caller I don't know. He's like the type that would say that it's not his baby plus he was seeing two girls at the time.

1:05:56🔗 Adam Oh boy.

1:05:58🔗 Drew Why did you expose yourself to this a-hole in the first place?

1:06:01🔗 Caller Because I liked him a lot.

1:06:04🔗 Drew That explains it then, huh?

1:06:05🔗 Adam How many brothers and sisters do you have?

1:06:07🔗 Caller I have two younger sisters.

1:06:09🔗 Adam Oh boy. We got to get them fixed right now. Now listen, you got to give this kid up for adoption or you got to get an abortion, right? Which one?

1:06:22🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:06:23🔗 Adam Well, what do you think?

1:06:24🔗 Drew Who do you have to talk to about this?

1:06:27🔗 Caller All my friends and that's it.

1:06:28🔗 Drew What about your mom?

1:06:30🔗 Caller My mom, like, I joke around with her saying like, if I ever got pregnant, what would she do? And she would be like, I would either kick you out or like, you would have to get out of my house or you had to get an abortion.

1:06:44🔗 Drew What happened to her when she got pregnant at 15?

1:06:47🔗 Caller Um, nothing. She had to stay home.

1:06:50🔗 Adam How old is your mom now?

1:06:52🔗 Caller She's, um, like, 23.

1:06:55🔗 Drew 33.

1:06:55🔗 Adam All right. So she had you when she was like 17 or she was pregnant at 17?

1:07:00🔗 Drew Pregnant at 16, had her at 17.

1:07:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:02🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Like, uh, like mother, like daughter. Where's dad? You got a good dad?

1:07:09🔗 Caller No.

1:07:10🔗 Adam Where's the father of your father, your biological father? Do you know?

1:07:14🔗 Caller No.

1:07:16🔗 Adam Shocking. So you're going to do the same thing your mom did, right?

1:07:20🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:07:21🔗 Drew You're set up for it.

1:07:23🔗 Adam You're right. Okay. So here's how you do it. Either get an abortion or you give the kid up for adoption.

1:07:29🔗 Drew Break this cycle.

1:07:30🔗 Adam That's what you do. What are your other choices?

1:07:35🔗 Caller Well, I want to keep it.

1:07:37🔗 Adam No, you can't. You'll be a bad mother. You're not a good mother. You're not going to be a good mother. And the kid's not going to have a father. Why don't, I know you're confused. Why don't you, can you talk to this guy, tell him you're pregnant?

1:07:57🔗 Caller Every time I see him, he's just driving, and all he does is smile and doesn't do anything.

1:08:04🔗 Adam Like he just drives through your living room and stuff?

1:08:06🔗 Drew Look, you'll be able to establish that it's his child if you get it tested for paternity after it's born. This isn't what that means.

1:08:14🔗 Caller Okay.

1:08:18🔗 Adam Listen, abortion, and listen, anyone who's a politician, and let me tell you what my plan is when I'm a politician. If I see anybody whose mom is 10 years older than they are when they're in high school, I'm going right after their kid. This is what happens every time. Mom is 16 and pregnant with Stacey, Stacey's 15 and pregnant. Shocking.

1:08:40🔗 Drew You know what's interesting?

1:08:41🔗 Adam What a surprise.

1:08:41🔗 Drew They've done some studies where they've looked at the outcome of women that have babies at this age and they've matched them with women of the exact same background at age and whatnot. And the women that have babies actually do better 10 years later. Think about it. They have a focus. They have to get their life together. They have to get their... And it's bad for the kid.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Right.

1:08:57🔗 Drew But the mother actually derives some benefit from it.

1:09:00🔗 Adam Well, it's like...

1:09:00🔗 Drew She has status. She's a mother now.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Yeah. It's like it would be the equivalent to taking troublemaking guys and forcing them to go into military at 14 as opposed to going in at 19. They do better because otherwise it's been running around for five years causing trouble and doing nothing. It's a tough decision. You got pregnant. You should have thought of that. I'm sorry you had to hook up with this a-hole. Guys like this should be eliminated by the way because these guys are the sort of...

1:09:31🔗 Drew Roach.

1:09:33🔗 Adam Well, I would like to just sort of call them...

1:09:36🔗 Drew A-hole.

1:09:38🔗 Adam Yeah, you know, the mosquitoes that spread the malaria. You could blame malaria or you could get rid of the mosquitoes that spread it. These are the mosquitoes. They fly around, sting people in the neck, get a little of their stink on them and move on to their next victim. Oh, boy. Can I clean this world up? Oh, boy. Could I? I'll tell you. I got to get up there at that Democratic Convention.

1:10:02🔗 Drew They're all in town now. You can speak to them.

1:10:04🔗 Adam Those idiots. They don't want to talk about anything. More this, more that, more the other. More programs, more, more, more, more. More stuff. Yes, build more prisons. We need more schools. We need more programs, more, more, more welfare. More. We need more doctors. We need more school teachers. We need more, more, more, more, more, more. More stuff. We need more stuff. No, we don't need more stuff. We need less. We need less criminals. Then we won't need more prisons. Ah-ha. And we need less kids with more parents. That's what we need.

1:10:40🔗 Drew More parents doing their job.

1:10:42🔗 Adam And listen, everybody, when you're growing up and your dad ain't around and there's five of you and you have no food and you're scraping and you're fighting and you're struggling to get by, values, that don't mean Jack. Not Jack. You know why? You're focusing on surviving. You're not focusing on thriving. You're not talking about values. It's the survival of the fittest. Your whole life is like an episode of Survivor. You're not worried about values. You're worried about survival.

1:11:14🔗 Drew I have a 95-year-old patient who's been smoking cigarettes since she was eight. Did I tell you the story? No. Her mom started her smoking to suppress her appetite because they had no food.

1:11:24🔗 Adam Nice. 95, still smoking. Imagine she's alive, but imagine the hundreds of thousands of people she killed through her secondhand smoke.

1:11:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:11:32🔗 Adam All right.

1:11:33🔗 Drew It's our family.

1:11:34🔗 Adam We'll be back.

1:11:35🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline.

1:11:38🔗 1-800-LOVE-191 We'll be right back.

1:12:15🔗 Adam Adam Corolla, he's Dr. Drew over there. Got a little thing going on called the lightning round coming up. Yep, oh, storm brewing. Ace Rockolla will be in the house here in about 15 minutes. Mariah Carey, she's got to be in the house. Mariah?

1:12:33🔗 Caller Hi, I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now and well, he's been thinking of getting me pregnant because I lost my virginity a week ago.

1:12:46🔗 Drew A week ago.

1:12:47🔗 Caller Yes.

1:12:48🔗 Adam So it's time to get pregnant.

1:12:49🔗 Caller And he keeps thinking of, I wish I could get you pregnant.

1:12:54🔗 Drew How old is he?

1:12:56🔗 Adam He's 14.

1:12:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:57🔗 Adam And you're 14 too?

1:12:58🔗 Caller Yes.

1:13:00🔗 Drew Why would he want you to be pregnant?

1:13:02🔗 Adam He thinks it's beautiful when a lady is pregnant. I remember being, don't you remember being 14?

1:13:07🔗 Drew And wanting my girlfriend to be pregnant?

1:13:08🔗 Adam Wanting your ninth year great girlfriend to be pregnant. It's beautiful. Women glow when they're pregnant.

1:13:13🔗 Caller Beautiful lady.

1:13:14🔗 Drew What joy would have with a child?

1:13:15🔗 Adam Oh, you two playing with Legos together and meaning it. Really play it. All right. So he wants to get you pregnant. Yeah.

1:13:25🔗 Caller Well, he's not sure about it because he knows that there will be consequences and he doesn't, he's scared of what would actually happen.

1:13:30🔗 Drew So yeah, a child, what does he want to do with that child?

1:13:33🔗 Caller Well, he has, he's always felt like he was alone and stuff like that. And so I think it has to do with like depression. He has depression. I know that.

1:13:40🔗 Drew All right. Well, his feelings of abandonment should not be acted out through another human being or two other human beings.

1:13:45🔗 Caller I told him that because usually I'm like counseling him.

1:13:48🔗 Drew Oh, Maria.

1:13:49🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:13:50🔗 Adam Hey, listen. What kind of birth control are you using?

1:13:55🔗 Caller I'm not on any. He was going to get me on some. And then my mom found out that I left the house. She thought I left her in the morning. She didn't know that I left at night.

1:14:03🔗 Drew So you may already be pregnant.

1:14:04🔗 Caller And that's what I'm afraid of, yeah.

1:14:06🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:14:07🔗 Caller But the first time we used the condom and then I fell asleep. And then we woke up and we did it again the same night. And then we didn't use the condom.

1:14:15🔗 Adam I see. How long ago did this happen?

1:14:20🔗 Caller I think Monday night, last Monday.

1:14:22🔗 Drew Oh, okay.

1:14:24🔗 Adam All right. Well, keep your fingers crossed. Keep your legs crossed too. Would you please? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, listen to me. As you know, I'm a self-proclaimed genius. I really am. Whatever. Self-proclaimed, anyone can do that. You can't get pregnant. It will affect your life forever. Yeah, it will. It will screw you up. And listen, this guy, he's got troubles. Do not let this guy put his defective seed into your soil. Do you understand? This guy's seed is is is bad. Very bad. You understand?

1:15:07🔗 Drew Not exactly.

1:15:09🔗 Adam He's a screwed up guy. And the last thing you want is this guy being a dad.

1:15:14🔗 Drew Something that's unholy.

1:15:16🔗 The evil.

1:15:18🔗 Adam Yeah. What's his name? Damien?

1:15:20🔗 Caller Dennis.

1:15:21🔗 Adam I knew it with a D. Dennis the Menace.

1:15:25🔗 Drew She doesn't understand the Damien reference.

1:15:27🔗 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, listen, Maria.

1:15:29🔗 Caller Yes.

1:15:30🔗 Adam Do not get pregnant. And do not listen to this guy. All right? You'll be broken up with his ass in six months.

1:15:39🔗 Caller Okay.

1:15:40🔗 Adam All right. And you're not his nurse either. If he's a screwed up guy, he's got to get help. Yeah, he is getting it. Good.

1:15:45🔗 Drew Good.

1:15:46🔗 Adam Meanwhile, don't get pregnant. He's on Depo-Provera.

1:15:51🔗 Drew She needs to get on Depo-Provera.

1:15:52🔗 Adam Get on birth control. Listen, no more screwballs having screwed up kids. Please.

1:16:00🔗 Drew You know, some of the data on teen pregnancy looks like the reason teen pregnancy is going down a little bit is more effective birth control methods.

1:16:08🔗 Adam Really?

1:16:08🔗 Drew The depo and those sorts of things have really made a significant impact.

1:16:11🔗 Adam Good. Not even a choice. I'm giving it to everybody when I'm in charge. Every girl on their 14th birthday gets the depo shot.

1:16:20🔗 Drew Why don't we head on down to the DNC and see if we can find some round upable support for your social policy.

1:16:25🔗 Adam Where's the DNC? Listen, those posies over there, I've had it up to here with them. Money, money, money, money. Everyone give them more money so they can do more crap. How come, how come reproduction is not something that's discussed by Republicans or Democrats?

1:16:44🔗 Drew Maybe Lieberman will. He's kind of going that way.

1:16:48🔗 Adam Really?

1:16:48🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:16:49🔗 Adam He's talking about that?

1:16:50🔗 Drew He's heading that way.

1:16:52🔗 Adam It's the only issue there is.

1:16:54🔗 Drew He's pretty aggressive on those things.

1:16:56🔗 Adam He is?

1:16:58🔗 Drew I can hear it rattling around. It may come up.

1:17:00🔗 Adam Listen, we need to chew in there. We really do.

1:17:04🔗 Drew Buchanan's running with a black woman.

1:17:07🔗 Adam Pat Buchanan's running? He's running from a black woman. She's chasing him with her purse. You misread that.

1:17:13🔗 Drew His vice presidential candidate is a black woman. I think it's great.

1:17:16🔗 Adam Really?

1:17:17🔗 Drew Yep.

1:17:17🔗 Adam Who is it? Maxine Un-Ester Waters?

1:17:20🔗 Drew No, no, no. It's a very conservative black woman.

1:17:25🔗 Adam All right. You got another call lined up. What's going on here? Yeah. Maxine Waters. She's looking into the morning after pill. She's got people on that. Sarah?

1:17:35🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:17:36🔗 Adam 16.

1:17:38🔗 Guest Okay. I started seeing this guy when I was 15. We started fooling around and he was 23 then. And since then, I've turned 16 and he's turned 24. And we kind of, for a while-

1:17:53🔗 Drew Turn your radio down.

1:17:53🔗 Adam Hey, could you turn the crocus down in the background, please?

1:17:56🔗 Guest Yeah, sorry.

1:17:57🔗 Adam Idiot. And when's the last time you heard the band Crocus?

1:18:02🔗 Guest That wasn't Crocus.

1:18:04🔗 Adam What happened to Crocus?

1:18:05🔗 Drew I've never heard of it.

1:18:07🔗 Adam I don't know. There used to be a band called Crocus. I don't know why it popped into my head. Anderson, you're hip to Crocus, right? Never heard of Crocus. You've never heard of Crocus? No one's ever heard of Crocus? It's like a heavy metal band from the middle 80s. It's a good name. Crocus.

1:18:23🔗 Guest That wasn't Crocus.

1:18:24🔗 Adam Who are you listening to?

1:18:26🔗 Caller Creed.

1:18:26🔗 Adam Yeah, Creed. They're the new Crocus.

1:18:31🔗 Caller Okay.

1:18:33🔗 Adam Go ahead there, Sarah.

1:18:34🔗 Caller Is that Creed?

1:18:36🔗 Guest I started seeing him when I was 15, and we saw each other every weekend for two months.

1:18:40🔗 Adam When he was 22?

1:18:41🔗 Guest When he was 23 and I was 15.

1:18:43🔗 Drew You're starting to understand now he's a criminal?

1:18:46🔗 Guest What?

1:18:46🔗 Drew You're starting to understand now he's a jerk and a criminal?

1:18:48🔗 Guest Yeah. I lost my virginity to him. That's the thing. I don't know. I tried to end it and I stopped calling him. I stopped seeing him, but he still calls me. Last time I saw him was about a month ago, but I went on vacation, so I haven't seen him for a while, but he keeps calling me.

1:19:04🔗 Drew Sarah, he's a 24-year-old loser. This is probably all he's given.

1:19:08🔗 Guest He's in a band, and I met him through parties and stuff.

1:19:11🔗 Adam Is he in Crocus?

1:19:13🔗 Guest No.

1:19:13🔗 Drew He's a loser, and you're all he's been able to land, and so he's just...

1:19:16🔗 Guest Well, that's what I keep thinking, but he's...

1:19:18🔗 Drew That is the truth.

1:19:19🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:19:20🔗 Adam His band must really suck if he's chasing around a 16-year-old.

1:19:24🔗 Guest Oh.

1:19:25🔗 Adam Now listen, no more to do with this guy, right?

1:19:28🔗 Guest Yeah, I've tried. I don't know what to do.

1:19:30🔗 Drew Call the police. He's a criminal.

1:19:32🔗 Adam Tell him you're gonna put... If he calls again, you'll put down the phone, you'll pick it up, and you'll call the police.

1:19:37🔗 Drew And that's what you've got to do.

1:19:38🔗 Guest Well, that's never come up, though, at all.

1:19:40🔗 Drew Well, now is the time. He's harassing you.

1:19:43🔗 Adam Anderson, get on that computer and look up Crocus. I swear to God Crocus has sold, has had a platinum record.

1:19:49🔗 Drew How do they spell it?

1:19:52🔗 Adam That's a good question. Come on, somebody call in and tell me Crocus.

1:19:56🔗 Drew All right.

1:19:57🔗 Adam Somebody. They've probably sold a few million records.

1:20:01🔗 Drew I remember the name.

1:20:02🔗 Adam Oh, you do?

1:20:03🔗 Drew Barely.

1:20:03🔗 Adam Oh, Anderson, that's got to smart.

1:20:06🔗 Caller It's a damn lie, and you know it!

1:20:08🔗 Drew No, no, they sound familiar. Around the time of ACDC doing big stuff.

1:20:13🔗 Adam Crocus? Crocus could have been like mid to later. I'd say 86, 87.

1:20:18🔗 Drew I'd say 84, 83.

1:20:21🔗 Adam Could be. You think they're with a K or with a C?

1:20:25🔗 Drew K.

1:20:26🔗 Adam K? Yeah, I think K. Come on.

1:20:28🔗 There's a Kyrus.

1:20:29🔗 Adam No. Anderson, come on. Can you get on that computer and find Crocus?

1:20:33🔗 No, I can't do that in there.

1:20:34🔗 Adam No. All right. Let's go on. Somebody call up and tell us about this band. Ben?

1:20:39🔗 Yeah. What's going on?

1:20:39🔗 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:20:42🔗 Caller I've got a couple of questions, but the most important one is I'm having trouble mustering up the courage to come out to my dad. I'm gay. Everybody else knows about me.

1:20:50🔗 Drew How long have you been out to everybody else?

1:20:52🔗 Caller Over a year. Probably about 14 months.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Does your mom know?

1:20:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:57🔗 Adam Well, she knows. She turned you gay.

1:20:58🔗 Drew How'd that go? Come on.

1:21:00🔗 Adam Well, it's true.

1:21:01🔗 Drew How'd that go, Ben? The other everybody else coming out?

1:21:04🔗 Caller Unexpectedly cool. My mom was cool about it. Even more of my most butch friends were really cool about it.

1:21:10🔗 Drew Is it important to tell your dad?

1:21:12🔗 Caller Yeah, it would be a sense of relief. He lives in town and it'll just be.

1:21:19🔗 Adam Let me ask you a question, Ben. Yes. Do you think in the instance where you told your mom, do you think she had that feeling like she was like, yeah, I wondered?

1:21:36🔗 Caller She said she was clueless but she's a total snake. I think she knew all along.

1:21:40🔗 Adam I mean, the fact that here's what I'm saying.

1:21:43🔗 Drew Mom's a snake.

1:21:44🔗 Adam It's great. What a way to describe your mom.

1:21:47🔗 Caller She's a good way though.

1:21:48🔗 Drew She's a teddy snake.

1:21:49🔗 Caller The best way possible.

1:21:50🔗 Adam Yeah. She's a garden snake. She's not a cobra or water moccasin or a black mamba. Intuitive. What I mean is, the fact that she took it well, do you think that meant, and maybe I'm just screwing with you here, but do you think it meant that she had a feeling, kind of knew it anyway so it wasn't like a big, like you dropped a bomb on it, it was more of a firecracker than a bomb?

1:22:12🔗 Caller Not exactly because she's lived in various parts of the world and she's visited a lot of people. My dad's kind of an old school kind of cholo type and nowadays he's sort of born again Christian.

1:22:26🔗 Adam Oh, are you Mexican?

1:22:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:22:29🔗 Adam Oh yeah, people know you're Mexican.

1:22:30🔗 Drew Is it worth it to you to come out with this yet?

1:22:33🔗 Adam Oh, he's born again, yeah.

1:22:34🔗 Drew You know, it might be.

1:22:36🔗 Caller I mean, it's gonna be a while till he dies.

1:22:38🔗 Drew No, not make him. Well, couldn't you kill him? But there might become a time when it's not so sort of intense for you, in a way not so difficult. When you really have a more settled sort of acceptance by your family and friends and you're used to things and they're used to it and you got a lot of support and you can just come forward and just let them know.

1:22:56🔗 Adam I don't know, if it's bothering you, tell them. But on the other hand, if it's not pressing, you let it slide a little longer.

1:23:04🔗 Drew If it's gonna go badly, yeah. If it's gonna go badly, you know, really make sure that you're...

1:23:09🔗 Caller But the whole thing...

1:23:09🔗 Adam He doesn't know you're gay. Don't Mexican guys look gayer than other guys who go gay?

1:23:15🔗 Caller Not from what I've experienced, but...

1:23:17🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

1:23:17🔗 Drew No.

1:23:18🔗 Caller The ethnic...

1:23:19🔗 Drew Ben's saying no.

1:23:20🔗 Adam All right. I'm saying when ethnic guys go gay, they go gayer. Here's what I mean. When black guys go gay, they go super gay. Because black guys do everything real big, you know?

1:23:33🔗 Drew You don't notice the guys...

1:23:34🔗 Adam The Mexican guys go gay, they go gayer. I'll give you an example. You know, like, when a dark-skinned guy gets a cut, he scars more, like, the more noticeable scar shows up more. Same with the gayness.

1:23:47🔗 Drew Oh, a perfect analogy, Adam.

1:23:48🔗 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, so, Ben?

1:23:51🔗 Drew Brain function, skin function.

1:23:52🔗 Adam You know what the Mexican guys get when they go gay? What's that? The eyebrows. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they get the weird eyebrows. They look like they... Pluck them. Pluck them, or like a mascara or something. Are you into that?

1:24:04🔗 No.

1:24:05🔗 Adam You know what I'm talking about, though?

1:24:06🔗 Caller I have Armenian eyebrows.

1:24:07🔗 Adam Oh, hey. Yeah, me too.

1:24:09🔗 Yeah.

1:24:10🔗 Adam Jesus, I'm going to be a mess. You know, I realize I have to trim stray hairs off my eyebrows, and I'm 36.

1:24:15🔗 Drew Oh, when you're like 70.

1:24:16🔗 Adam I'm 70. That's going to be it. I'm going to look like a pagoda. That's going to be a mess.

1:24:21🔗 Drew What's his name, Brim?

1:24:22🔗 Caller Well, the major conflict here is that...

1:24:24🔗 Adam Oh, yeah...

1:24:24🔗 Caller .I interact with him on a semi-regular basis.

1:24:27🔗 Adam Okay.

1:24:28🔗 Drew Listen.

1:24:29🔗 Adam Listen, here's the deal. Ben, if you want to tell him and you're feeling like it's important you have to tell him, then tell him.

1:24:35🔗 Drew But I would say marshal your troops and prepare for the worst. Yeah. I really don't expect this to be a pleasant thing.

1:24:41🔗 Adam Okay. Hey, John. Yeah, what's up? You're down with Crocus?

1:24:46🔗 Yeah, I'm your age, so I know Crocus.

1:24:48🔗 Adam Yeah. What year would you say was Crocus' height?

1:24:52🔗 They were early 80s, hair man, middle level.

1:24:55🔗 Adam Early 80s? I'm thinking more midder 80s. You're maybe early, you're right.

1:25:02🔗 April wine, lover boy.

1:25:05🔗 Adam April wine.

1:25:06🔗 Drew Can you play something for us?

1:25:07🔗 Adam Do you have any Crocus on hand?

1:25:09🔗 No, I'm proud to admit that I do not own any Crocus.

1:25:13🔗 Adam You think they had a record that went gold or platinum?

1:25:16🔗 Yeah, they did have one and I don't know the name of it. But I did want to confirm that they-

1:25:21🔗 Adam Wait a minute, Anderson knows something. Anderson?

1:25:24🔗 Yeah, Nisi from WHSF just called us up and she said-

1:25:29🔗 Adam Nisi with all the nails?

1:25:31🔗 I don't know nails.

1:25:32🔗 Adam From WHFS?

1:25:34🔗 She just called, John.

1:25:35🔗 Adam Yeah, thanks John. Nisi is this crazy black woman who has nails that are like four inches long.

1:25:42🔗 Drew Well, what did Nisi say?

1:25:42🔗 Adam On all hands. Yeah.

1:25:44🔗 Hocus Pocus.

1:25:45🔗 Drew Oh yeah.

1:25:46🔗 Adam No, no. Hocus Pocus was done by Focus. Not Crocus.

1:25:52🔗 Drew Oh man.

1:25:53🔗 I don't know. She spelled the band's name.

1:25:54🔗 Adam No, no, no, no. Okay, listen, we got to go to break. Here's the deal.

1:25:58🔗 Caller I'll go look and-

1:25:59🔗 Adam Hocus Pocus was done by a band called Focus. Yon do, yon do, yon do, yon do, yon do.

1:26:07🔗 Drew All right, I want to hear these things.

1:26:12🔗 Caller Stop!

1:26:13🔗 Drew Get some copy of this music for the lightning round. To follow.

1:26:18🔗 Adam Listen, listen to me. Hocus Pocus was done by Focus, not Crocus.

1:26:23🔗 Drew Okay.

1:26:24🔗 Adam Nece, she confused Focus with Crocus. Is she on the phone? All right. Nece, if you're listening, honey, that's Focus, not Crocus. We'll be back at the lightning round.

1:26:37🔗 Caller Hello? What is this?

1:26:38🔗 Drew Uh, this is Loveline.

1:26:39🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:27:21🔗 Caller Yeah!

1:27:22🔗 Adam Hey, all you guys, gals out there, ready to la- Look at Loveline, the Shick Tiger, look. It's 1146 in 55 seconds. That is 13 minutes and five days.

1:27:38🔗 Caller The wave is top of the hour, turn up!

1:27:39🔗 Adam That means I'm waiting out. Dr. Drew's sitting to my left. That means you're right, If you're ready for the radio, and he is hot, hot, hot. Let's jump back on the phone. He's driving this way. Hey, Nicky.

1:27:52🔗 Caller Hey.

1:27:52🔗 Adam Nick's there.

1:27:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:54🔗 Adam Nickaroo, what's happening over there, buddy?

1:27:56🔗 Caller Well, I wanted to know if smoking tea is bad for you.

1:27:59🔗 Adam No. 20 seconds. That is 12 minutes and 10 seconds away from the top of the average rate up. Let's hop back on the phone and speak to Jess. Jess is 28 years old. What's happening there, buddy?

1:28:44🔗 Caller How's it going there, Adam?

1:28:45🔗 Adam Hey, Jess. What's going on there, buddy?

1:28:47🔗 Caller How's it going there, Doctor?

1:28:48🔗 Adam That's Dr. Drew's mother.

1:28:51🔗 Caller Excuse me. I got a question for the doctor, if you don't mind their ass.

1:28:55🔗 Drew Quickly, Jess.

1:28:56🔗 Caller Okay.

1:28:56🔗 Caller Doctor.

1:28:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:28:58🔗 Caller I think I have a fetish with older women. I have a detached retinas.

1:29:02🔗 Caller I can't see them, but they all smell like Bengay to me.

1:29:05🔗 Caller Adam, hey, Adam, hey.

1:29:12🔗 Adam It's 1148 and 35 seconds. That's 11 minutes, 25 seconds away from the time of the hour.

1:29:21🔗 Drew Ace, Ace, what was that last one? I don't get it. Ben Gay?

1:29:25🔗 Adam Ben Gay. Let me tell you something that's going on here. The guy that's going on here is the man that's like an older woman that's detached right up and is male and is going to go with the Ben Gay. I'm going to check the time real fast. It's 1149. It's right up the 11 minutes away from the hour. Exactly, Dale, Dale's 18 years old, fooled around with girl. Dale, Dale, go ahead, Dale, go, go.

1:29:56🔗 Drew Yeah, go ahead. Dale.

1:29:58🔗 Adam All right, I'm here. Yeah, Dale, Dale, buddy.

1:30:00🔗 Drew Quickly, Dale.

1:30:01🔗 Adam Is Ace Rockolla.

1:30:02🔗 Drew All of you were gonna ask questions, blurt it out between the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:30:07🔗 Adam That's all I said, that part of it. Let me check the time real fast. 11.49, 30 seconds, 10 minutes, 30 seconds, wait, stop there, straight up.

1:30:15🔗 Caller I had an erection, I was-

1:30:16🔗 Adam Oh, midnight is about an hour.

1:30:18🔗 Caller Possibility of getting pregnant.

1:30:20🔗 Drew Did you pen-

1:30:21🔗 Adam That's right.

1:30:22🔗 Drew Did you penetrate?

1:30:24🔗 Caller No.

1:30:24🔗 Drew No, no, it's not as though something's gonna swim out of your penis and swim over to her.

1:30:29🔗 Adam It's 11.49 and 50 seconds, straight up. That's 10 minutes, 10 minutes, and 10 seconds away from the time, straight up there. Dale?

1:30:36🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:30:36🔗 Adam All right, I'm gonna go ahead with you, Dale.

1:30:39🔗 Caller Huh?

1:30:40🔗 Adam You all right, everybody? Let's go.

1:30:46🔗 Caller Is this the Gironke's Rockolla?

1:30:56🔗 Adam It's not like Ray's 37 years old, knows your crocus. Well, wait a minute. Hold on a second. Ray?

1:31:02🔗 Caller Hello.

1:31:03🔗 Adam Hey, what's going on there, brother?

1:31:05🔗 Caller All righty.

1:31:05🔗 Adam You're hip to the band Crocus?

1:31:07🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:31:07🔗 Adam They didn't sing that song Hocus Pocus, did they?

1:31:10🔗 Caller No, they sure didn't.

1:31:11🔗 Adam No, that was focused.

1:31:13🔗 Caller Long stick goes boom, bad boys, ragdolls playing out the law.

1:31:17🔗 Adam Wow.

1:31:17🔗 Caller Save me, down the drain, American woman.

1:31:20🔗 Drew You gonna play something for us? What, you gonna play something for us?

1:31:23🔗 Caller All right, well, we'll start with, let's see what we got here. Long stick goes boom.

1:31:27🔗 Drew There you go, there you go.

1:31:28🔗 Adam Give me the biggest hit there.

1:31:30🔗 Caller Ah, I plugged in. Unprepared.

1:31:35🔗 Adam We'll come back in a little tizzy groggy.

1:31:37🔗 Caller Okay, take a second to plug this sucker.

1:31:38🔗 Adam Yeah, plug that stereo back in. Hey, Ray?

1:31:41🔗 Caller Yes, sir, Adam.

1:31:41🔗 Adam Let me get a little tip there. There's a button on the stereo. It's an on-off button. Go ahead and use that. You don't have to unplug it each and every time. All right, here we go.

1:31:48🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:31:49🔗 Adam Little crocus. Little crocus for you listening and enjoying it. Let's go to the bottom. What is that there?

1:31:54🔗 Caller What's going on here?

1:31:56🔗 Adam Let me check the time. It's 11.51 and 27. That's eight minutes. Do you have there, Ray?

1:32:03🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:32:04🔗 Adam All right, play crocus, would you?

1:32:06🔗 Caller Worst lightning round ever.

1:32:08🔗 Caller Ah, jeez, I can't believe this. National radio and I'm screwing up.

1:32:12🔗 Adam Hey, Ray, Ray, how many records do you think your crocus is sold?

1:32:16🔗 Caller This came out in 82, so, you know, it's hard to say. Maybe they went platinum once.

1:32:21🔗 Adam Yeah, I think so. All right, hold on there, buddy. I was getting out of my bones there. I was talking to... Whoa, wait a minute. Someone's got a crocus song on here. Hey, Chris?

1:32:29🔗 Yeah.

1:32:29🔗 Adam Yeah, you're 30. You got crocus?

1:32:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:31🔗 Adam Yeah, give me the song there, buddy.

1:32:33🔗 Caller I don't have the song with me, but I know they have a song called Eat the Rich.

1:32:36🔗 Adam Can you sing it? Can you sing it, buddy?

1:32:39🔗 Caller Yeah, it's like eat the rich, the rich, eat the rich, the rich, out of the doorway and into the ditch.

1:32:44🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, buddy, can you do a little more feeling this time? I'll do it with you. You ready?

1:32:50🔗 Caller Two, three, four.

1:32:51🔗 Adam Eat the rich, the rich, the rich, eat the rich, the rich, out of the doorway and into the ditch. Yep. Yeah. Let me check that. It's 11.52, 25 seconds. That is seven minutes and 35 seconds away from the top of the hour. Straight to the witch, enemies, rock-a-roll, the environment.

1:33:09🔗 Drew Crocus or no Crocus?

1:33:10🔗 Adam Okay, let's see now.

1:33:11🔗 Caller Ray?

1:33:12🔗 Caller Ray?

1:33:13🔗 Adam Yeah, you got Crocus ready?

1:33:15🔗 Caller Yeah, it's not playing too good, but there's a little bit of it here.

1:33:19🔗 Adam Let's hear it, buddy.

1:33:19🔗 Caller All these albums suck.

1:33:21🔗 Adam Put the phone up to the speaker there, buddy.

1:33:25🔗 Caller Wait, wait, wait.

1:33:29🔗 Caller It's just skating all over the place.

1:33:31🔗 Adam Ray's really, yeah. Right, buddy? There's this new thing out. It's called a CD.

1:33:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I know. No CD.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Yeah, it came out like 20 years ago.

1:33:41🔗 Caller Let's go ahead and talk to Brian.

1:33:46🔗 Adam Brian, you're 17. What's going on there, buddy?

1:33:48🔗 Caller Hello?

1:33:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:33:49🔗 Caller My girlfriend has this fantasy about me raping her, and she wants me to reenact it or something.

1:33:55🔗 Adam You know what you're telling her, Brad? Done and done. You know what I'm saying?

1:34:00🔗 Drew Don't do it.

1:34:01🔗 Adam Yeah, don't do it. I like raping. Another one of the light raping.

1:34:05🔗 Drew She may just be wishing to be swept in, that we talked earlier in the night, swept up in the relationship.

1:34:10🔗 Adam I agree, Drew. Sweep, rob her feet, and rape her. That's right.

1:34:15🔗 Drew Why am I exhausted?

1:34:16🔗 Adam This time is a little bit of a dream, and 30, 40 seconds. That's six minutes and 20 seconds.

1:34:22🔗 Drew That's time for a break. Break, break, break, break.

1:34:24🔗 Caller I can't take it anymore.

1:34:26🔗 Drew No, no.

1:34:30🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:35:11🔗 Caller Well, here we have it.

1:35:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Ace Rockolla got out of here. I think he was drunk. I think it was like...

1:35:19🔗 Drew I think he had a stroke.

1:35:22🔗 Adam One side of his face was paralyzed. Who's that drunk comedian that always says...

1:35:26🔗 Drew Foster Brooks.

1:35:27🔗 Adam Yeah. It was like Foster Brooks did the lightning round. More references between my Foster Brooks and Crocus references. Look at poor, young, sweet, innocent Daniel over there with those big brown eyes. He had no idea. Really, honey, do you understand anything I talk about?

1:35:43🔗 Drew You don't, do you? Do you care about anything?

1:35:46🔗 Adam There you go. There you go. That's better. But you're still attracted to me in your own way, right?

1:35:51🔗 Drew The repulsion. It's because the repulsioning of the...

1:35:55🔗 Caller All right.

1:35:57🔗 Adam Well, that's a way.

1:35:58🔗 Drew That's our own way, yeah.

1:35:58🔗 Adam All right. We will take ourselves a little extended, bro. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:12🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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