Wednesday, June 14, 2000

1:56🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

2:05🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:07🔗 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:09🔗 Voiceover Loveline.

2:13🔗 Voiceover And it is Loveline. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. And is Adam Corolla there at the other end? Yes, Adam. How are you?

2:25🔗 Adam Hey, I'm talking.

2:26🔗 Drew Oh, my God. You're not slurring tonight.

2:28🔗 Wow.

2:30🔗 Adam Are you there? Uh-oh.

2:33🔗 Drew Oh, he's getting a six-second delay.

2:35🔗 Adam I'm hearing myself in a very long delay over here.

2:37🔗 Drew Yes, he's getting the delay. That's nice.

2:38🔗 Adam Yes, I'm totally lucid. Yeah, I started talking when the show began, but.

2:50🔗 Drew Adam, shut up. Shut up.

2:52🔗 Adam I got to tell you.

2:53🔗 Drew I want you to shut up.

2:54🔗 Adam Because hearing myself twice is more painful than even the first time.

2:57🔗 Drew Yes, absolutely. I want you not to shut up.

2:58🔗 Adam Now I'm going to hear that sentence again in about six seconds.

3:01🔗 Drew I want you to be quiet. I'll do the talking around you. Yes, okay. Stay quiet. All right. Yes. Anderson, you work on fixing that problem, and I'm going to go to phone calls. Adam, do not say anything until Anderson gives you some sort of hi sign. Let's go to Susan. She's 22. This is a call from me. Susan?

3:18🔗 Caller Yes?

3:19🔗 Drew Hi there. What's going on?

3:20🔗 Caller Well, I kind of...

3:23🔗 Adam Hello?

3:25🔗 Drew You've got to stop. Susan, go ahead.

3:29🔗 Caller Well, I left a tampon in. I forgot about it, and I kind of just found that I think I put it in on Monday, and it's Wednesday.

3:37🔗 Drew It's still there now?

3:38🔗 Caller Well, no, I took it out, but I mean...

3:42🔗 Drew People, you know, not an uncommon thing that happens to doctors is when they do a pelvic exam, they find one up there that women have forgotten for a long time.

3:49🔗 Caller Well, what happened?

3:51🔗 Drew Well, nothing once you get it out. The problem is that by leaving it in there, you can put you at risk for toxic shock.

3:56🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

3:56🔗 Caller Okay.

3:57🔗 Caller I have it out now.

3:58🔗 Drew And it can make some funny smells. It can sometimes create some vaginitis, but the real risk is when it's in. Now that it's out, don't worry about it.

4:06🔗 Caller Drew?

4:06🔗 Drew Yeah?

4:07🔗 Adam Can you hear me?

4:08🔗 Drew I can hear you, but you can't hear me respond, so shut up.

4:11🔗 Adam Yes, I can. I can hear you.

4:12🔗 Drew Oh, now you can? All right, Susan?

4:15🔗 Adam How dare you?

4:16🔗 Drew All right, Susan?

4:17🔗 Caller So I don't need to worry about it?

4:19🔗 Drew You do not need to worry about it, okay? It will not be the last time this happens either. That'll happen to you once in a while.

4:24🔗 Caller I don't think I'll ever forget it again.

4:26🔗 Drew Well, God bless you if you don't, okay?

4:29🔗 Caller I hope so.

4:29🔗 Caller All right, bye-bye.

4:30🔗 Adam All right, what happened to her, Drew?

4:31🔗 Drew She left time planning for a couple of days.

4:33🔗 Adam Good times.

4:34🔗 Drew Big deal.

4:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

4:35🔗 Drew So how are things out there?

4:38🔗 Adam They're nice. I did TRL today on MTV with our old friend Carson, and then Conan, then The Daily Show, then some online chant thing for Comedy Central. Great. Everything was good except for Conan was atrocious.

4:54🔗 Drew What happened?

4:54🔗 Adam You guys want to have a good time tonight, turn on Conan about 1A.

4:58🔗 Drew What happened?

5:00🔗 Adam It was just dead. It was just, I've never bombed so hard in my life. Just a horrible audience. They hated me and that's it.

5:10🔗 Drew It's not that you needed me. It's that the audience was bad.

5:13🔗 Adam That's right. Yes. Then I turned on them and it was anything but a love fest. It was bad. It was tough going out there.

5:22🔗 It really was.

5:24🔗 Adam So like I said, anyone wants a good laugh, they can tune in to Conan tonight. But the Daily Show was good and TRL was good and the online chat thing was good.

5:34🔗 Drew That's good. Were you treated for alcohol withdrawal this morning? Did you get the intramuscular five and the agicintrate?

5:40🔗 Adam I had a wonderful experience last night. The driver, who by the way didn't show up tonight to take me to the studio. You know what I love about the drivers, and we talked about this last night, how they're all evil. Drivers are evil, dispatchers are evil, guys who own limo companies are evil, everyone's evil, it has to do with transportation. There's a guy parked out front of the, and you and I have experienced this before, a guy from a CRS limousine or whatever is going to come pick you up in front of your hotel at 1230 and take you to Westwood 1. That's what my itinerary says. So there's a town car parked out front of the hotel at 1230. I go out there, naturally the guy is sitting in his car sleeping. I have the temerity to wake him from his slumber and ask him, are you going to Westwood 1? Westwood 1. Adam Corolla? He actually held his phone up that had a digital display of the name of the person that he was supposed to pick up and it wasn't my name. We've taken communication to a new level.

6:50🔗 Oh, boy.

6:51🔗 Adam I mean, how bizarre is it that there's a guy sitting in a town car and you can't even go up to him in his open window and ask him if it's you that he's driving. I mean, that ain't even going to do it.

7:03🔗 Drew He could be holding up a palm top and ask you to hold yours out in the infrared.

7:08🔗 Adam That's right. We could have them electronically mate. He had zero ID. I ran to 10 town cars all sitting up there, banged on every window. They'd never heard of me or Westwood 1. So I hopped in a cab and said, screw it. Last night was good times, Drew, because as you know, I left LA about 8.30 in the morning.

7:29🔗 Drew After your second night with no sleep.

7:31🔗 Adam My second night in a row with no sleep. It was 3.10 last night or 3:15 AM out here in New York. When the limo driver or town car driver dropped me off at the W Hotel except for it was not my W Hotel. It was another W Hotel.

7:50🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

7:51🔗 Adam It's 3.15. It's drizzling outside. Thank God I gave the guy 20 bucks.

7:56🔗 Drew You didn't know you were at the wrong hotel?

7:58🔗 Adam He drops me off.

7:59🔗 Drew You didn't know you were at the wrong hotel?

8:01🔗 Adam I didn't know until he pulled away.

8:04🔗 Drew But Adam.

8:04🔗 Adam I mean, you're sitting in the, listen here, Jack Hole. You're sitting in the back of a town car. You barely have a pulse. The guy allegedly knows where he's taking you. He pulls up, it's dark, it's drizzling. He says, here you go. You got in town this morning in some kind of state of suspended animation. He opens the door, you walk out, you shut the door, you look around and you go, this doesn't look familiar. But maybe I'm at the side entrance. I walk in, I go, this is definitely not it. I say to the guy, is this the hotel? He's like, no. I'm like, where's my hotel? He's like, I don't know. I'm like, okay, what time is it? It's 3.15.

8:44🔗 Drew You take a cab?

8:45🔗 Adam All right. I was like, listen, do you have a pistol or some extension cord or something? I'd like to kill myself. Is there a place I can hang myself discreetly so as not to disturb the other guests? So anyway, I ended up hailing a cab and making my way back to my hotel. But I really almost broke down and started crying last night at 3.15 in the morning, sitting in some bizarre lobby that I'd never seen before.

9:12🔗 Drew And then you went out and bombed on Conan. But I'll tell you what, when you bomb on television, you're much nicer to me. I can feel the love.

9:18🔗 Adam Oh my god. My god. That audience hated my guts from the second I walked out there to the second I left. And it wasn't a short segment either. I was out there good at 8, 10 minutes.

9:28🔗 Drew It felt like it. Hey, tell me something.

9:30🔗 Adam Oh no, it felt like an hour and a half.

9:32🔗 Drew You know the little electronic mishap we just had at the opening of the show?

9:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

9:37🔗 Drew Tell me Matt didn't just freak out.

9:39🔗 Adam No, Matt didn't just freak out.

9:40🔗 Drew He didn't freak out and run around and try to...

9:42🔗 Adam No, Matt over here at Westwood 1 in New York is cool as a cucumber.

9:47🔗 Drew We have the same problem.

9:48🔗 Adam And he makes my coffee just the way I like it, old and cold.

9:52🔗 Drew Yeah.

9:53🔗 Adam Yeah, but he had a cup of coffee, he's got a cup of water for me here. He's golden, this Matt over here.

9:59🔗 Drew Let's go to the phones. Let's see here. This is Casey, 16.

10:04🔗 Caller Hi. For about, I'd say like a month or so, me and one of my girlfriends have been making out a lot, but I don't like her like that. I just, I don't know, does that mean I'm bisexual or what?

10:19🔗 Adam Why are you doing it if you don't like her?

10:22🔗 Caller It's fun and new.

10:24🔗 Drew Yeah, see, that's, that's bi-curious, I think.

10:27🔗 Caller Really?

10:27🔗 Drew I mean, that's just curiosity.

10:28🔗 Caller We'll do it for like other guys too.

10:30🔗 Adam Yeah, see, this is such a- They want to get attention.

10:33🔗 Drew Right, exactly.

10:35🔗 Adam Yeah, that's not really bi-curious.

10:36🔗 Drew It's like, yeah, it's, yeah. Well, isn't, isn't bi-curious just sort of experimentation for whatever reason anyway?

10:46🔗 Adam Yeah, but it's because you have some legitimate interest or at least some interest in the other person. She's doing it, she's doing it to titillate other guys. She's like an exhibitionist.

10:57🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:58🔗 Caller It's fun.

10:59🔗 Adam Yeah, but couldn't you just like, you know, rape yourself with a mop handle or something in front of guys and spare yourself a little dignity?

11:06🔗 Drew Do you have fantasies of stripping, that kind of thing?

11:08🔗 Caller No.

11:08🔗 Drew Okay.

11:09🔗 Adam What's up with you?

11:11🔗 Caller What do you mean?

11:12🔗 Adam Well, what's wrong with you? Why do you need attention from men this way?

11:16🔗 Guest I don't know, it's just fun.

11:18🔗 Adam It's fun that they pay attention to you?

11:21🔗 Guest I don't know.

11:21🔗 Drew Can't you get attention any more direct way? Can't you go up to a guy and ask him out or?

11:25🔗 Caller That's not like the only reason, though.

11:28🔗 Adam I see.

11:28🔗 Caller If we're out at AMC or something like that and there's a bunch of people there.

11:34🔗 Adam You'll make out. Where's your dad?

11:36🔗 Guest He's, I don't know, I haven't seen him since I was eight.

11:39🔗 Adam Oh boy. All right. That sounds like the attention thing. You don't have any contact with him?

11:44🔗 Guest No.

11:44🔗 Adam All right. Here's my point. You're not interested in this girl. You don't even really like her that way.

11:50🔗 Guest No, not at all.

11:50🔗 Drew She likes the arousing quality of doing something naughty and dangerous and in front of other people.

11:55🔗 Adam Right. All right. Well, good. You get plenty of attention. Listen, if you do porn movies on the internet, you get even more attention.

12:02🔗 Drew That's why I was asking about the stripping thing. It seems like that kind of attention seeking. Anyway, Brian. 23.

12:07🔗 Adam Matter of days.

12:08🔗 Drew Brian.

12:09🔗 Adam Brian?

12:10🔗 Caller Hey, yeah. Got a question. How you guys doing?

12:13🔗 Adam Good.

12:14🔗 Caller All right.

12:15🔗 Drew Adam sucks, actually.

12:17🔗 Adam Yeah. I really stunk up that Conan O'Brien and I. Really, I'll tell you, you guys watch it. I blame the audience. I was my usual funny self.

12:26🔗 Caller I really was. All right. Here's my question. I had a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. Excuse me. She gave me oral sex for the first time. And it made me very numb. I was it felt very good. And I got very stiff. I couldn't even move my fingers, my lips. I was very numb and stiff. And I'm just curious why that happened. I've had oral sex in the past. Never as good as this was. But, you know, my body never reacted like that.

12:56🔗 Drew Well, you mean you couldn't, your fingers sort of cramped up and you couldn't release them?

13:00🔗 Caller Everything just cramped up.

13:01🔗 Drew I mean, it's hyperventilation.

13:03🔗 Caller Okay.

13:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

13:04🔗 Adam You're breathing hard.

13:05🔗 Caller Okay.

13:06🔗 Drew Too hard for too long.

13:07🔗 Caller Okay. Well, now she did it again, a second and third time.

13:12🔗 Adam And that night?

13:14🔗 Caller Yeah. We had a great night, actually, over a period of a few days. It was just a great few days together. And...

13:21🔗 Adam All right. Well, hold on a second.

13:23🔗 Drew Maybe his fluids were, like, taken out of his body. That's why...

13:26🔗 Adam She did it a second and...

13:28🔗 Drew He was going into shock.

13:28🔗 Adam He said a second and third time that night, and then he said it was a great night. The weekend. Then he said it was over a couple of days.

13:34🔗 Caller A few times over a couple of days, actually. The first time was the worst. I couldn't even move parts of my body. The second and third time, it was mainly just my lips. I mean, I would try to talk, but my mouth wasn't moving is what I was saying. It kind of felt like a freak or whatever.

13:53🔗 Drew All right, you're hyperventilating, okay?

13:54🔗 Caller You are.

13:55🔗 Adam Is that what that is?

13:56🔗 Drew Yes, that's what it is.

13:57🔗 Adam Okay. All right. You'll get used to it, Brian. Yeah, boy, that's a hell of a hummer. Getting a head rush, your joints are locking up. I've got the calf cramp before. You know what I'm talking about, Drew?

14:09🔗 Drew No.

14:09🔗 Adam Your calf muscles cramp up, because you're pointing your toes too hard.

14:12🔗 Drew I'm more arousal than you. I don't need to work so hard.

14:15🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. That's right. You're very passionate. We discovered that last night. Who's on the air now?

14:20🔗 Drew Eric is. He's 17.

14:22🔗 Eric? Yeah.

14:24🔗 Adam What do you want?

14:26🔗 First of all, real quick, Adam, you're like kick ass.

14:30🔗 Drew Adam, did you see the end of that Laker game?

14:32🔗 Yeah.

14:33🔗 Drew Oh my God.

14:34🔗 It was cool.

14:35🔗 Drew Yeah, it was good.

14:35🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

14:36🔗 The Man Show like rocks. I watch it all the time.

14:40🔗 Adam Well, new time, Sunday night, 10 o'clock Comedy Central. Tell your friends.

14:43🔗 Oh yeah, I will.

14:45🔗 Drew Thank you. Like a machine now.

14:47🔗 Earlier tonight, shoot, about two hours ago, I was going to get a cigarette from my mom. And I found, I think it was like a crystal meth or a crack pipe or something in her cigarette case.

15:02🔗 Drew How do you know that's what it is?

15:04🔗 Because it's, well, because I've seen the kind of pipes before and it's not like a bud pipe type of acid.

15:13🔗 Adam Did you smell it?

15:16🔗 No, but I could tell just by looking at it.

15:21🔗 Adam Every answer takes a hundred years on this show, doesn't it Drew?

15:24🔗 Drew It really does.

15:25🔗 Adam Did you smell it?

15:27🔗 Well, no, I didn't.

15:29🔗 Adam Is every one of our callers I picture sitting on a rocking chair whittling? You know what I mean? Like next to a bloodhound that's sleeping on the porch? All right, so you didn't smell it. Why didn't you smell it?

15:44🔗 Drew Wait a minute, let's just assume it's a crack pipe.

15:46🔗 Adam Well, no, but he didn't know if it was a hash pipe or a crack pipe.

15:50🔗 Drew Well, whatever, he found some drug paraphernalia in the mom's purse.

15:52🔗 Adam Well, listen, there's a big difference between a crack pipe and a pot pipe. Eric?

15:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:00🔗 Adam Uh-oh. Who's that? Is that your girlfriend?

16:04🔗 No, it's my little brother. Oh, boy. No.

16:08🔗 Drew How old is your little brother?

16:10🔗 Caller He's five.

16:11🔗 Drew So your mom has kids from five to 17? Huh?

16:15🔗 Adam Well, there's a 42-year-old who's moved out of the house.

16:17🔗 Drew I see. How old are you? How many kids are there?

16:21🔗 Just me and my little brother and my sister.

16:24🔗 Adam Okay. And you think it was a cracked pipe?

16:28🔗 Yeah, because my uncle's, like, smokes crack, and I've seen his pipes before. And this looked like it.

16:36🔗 Adam All right. And did your mom...

16:37🔗 Caller So what do you want to do about it?

16:39🔗 Drew What do you want to do about it?

16:41🔗 Huh?

16:41🔗 Drew What do you want to do about it?

16:43🔗 That's just it. I don't know.

16:45🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

16:47🔗 Um, they're divorced.

16:49🔗 Adam Okay.

16:49🔗 Drew Can you talk to your dad?

16:51🔗 Adam Huh?

16:51🔗 Drew Can you...

16:53🔗 Adam All right. Listen, hang up on him, would you? Because I'm...

16:57🔗 Drew Well, he's...

16:58🔗 Adam Drew, I swear to God, it's... I'm moving to Canada. This... If we're going to grow up around the people that call in this show or even listen to this show, I swear to Christ I'm moving to Canada.

17:10🔗 Drew You know we should do. We should move to like some island on the Atlantic somewhere to broadcast across this continent.

17:16🔗 Adam There's got to be some kind of leper colony or something we could take over.

17:19🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, no, no. Just to be away from this would be nice.

17:23🔗 Adam Well, I mean, I know what's going on. He's got his little brother Kenny crying in the background, his mom's chasing around and the TV's on and he's calling a national radio show going, huh? What? Were you talking? Jesus Christ. Listen, I feel sorry for him. I guess he should talk to his dad.

17:40🔗 Drew Talk to dad.

17:40🔗 Adam I don't know if he's talking to his dad. Maybe he should just confront his mom.

17:43🔗 Drew How about just go to Alateen?

17:45🔗 Adam He told me to get those cigarettes and I found a crack pipe. Do you want to explain that?

17:48🔗 Drew Yeah, that's fine. But just like anything else we tell as it pertains to dealing with tough issues with parents, it's sometimes good to get healthy connection and support from somewhere else before you go in for battle. Maybe some Alateen before you go in and talk to mom. Because it may not be a very gratifying experience.

18:02🔗 Adam Don't get anyone pregnant.

18:04🔗 Drew No, we are not.

18:05🔗 Adam Even you're hamper. Dennis?

18:07🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

18:09🔗 Adam What's up?

18:10🔗 Caller Well, there's this girl that I really like that I met last October. And as soon as I found out she told a family member that she loved me, is when I really fell in love with her. Because this is like the first real girl that really interests me inside and out. I mean she's very beautiful inside. And she cannot communicate. She hides when it comes to communication. And that wound up making me frustrated to where I was a little upset, to where I tried every means to contact her by calling, by sending her a nice card on her birthday, which is a day before mine.

18:50🔗 Drew Dennis, hold on a second. Hold on. Adam.

18:53🔗 Adam I got to convene here.

18:54🔗 Drew What's going on here?

18:55🔗 Adam She doesn't sound real interested in him.

18:57🔗 Drew No, but he was building to like, hey, I tried every means possible. Like I sort of, I think he got like violent or something, or got stalking or something like that.

19:06🔗 Adam You think so?

19:07🔗 Drew I think so.

19:08🔗 Adam All right.

19:10🔗 Drew Dennis? Yes. What happened? Why does she?

19:12🔗 Caller I heard all that, but it's nothing like that. I mean, this girl would not communicate. She would lie constantly. So I finally did have to see her, and that kind of freaked her out the way it was. It wasn't stalking. Her girlfriend kept hauling stalking. Well, eventually, her girlfriend wound up having a few guys try to rush me, and eventually I wound up in the police station, and an emergency protection order was put against me.

19:44🔗 Adam All right, but it wasn't any stalking.

19:45🔗 Caller Okay, so Drew, there was no violence.

19:48🔗 Drew Drew, you were 100 percent off.

19:49🔗 Adam I understand. Drew, a thousand percent off with the whole stalking allegation. How dare you? Just because you got an emergency restraining order, lobbied against him, and a bunch of his friends had to rush him, and the girlfriend was yelling, her girlfriend was yelling at stalking. You couldn't have been further from the truth.

20:05🔗 Caller Well, it wasn't, dude. If you would understand, if you would actually understand, it's really not that. What it is, they went by her because...

20:14🔗 Adam All right, listen, we're not interested in the details here, Dennis. What do you want to do now?

20:19🔗 Caller All right, all right. To make the long story very short, she wants to, she still wants to try to have something like a friend leading on to whatever. And...

20:34🔗 Adam Do you think that's her idea, Dennis?

20:36🔗 Caller It is her idea. She just wants to forget everything and let everything go in the past, but I haven't really been in a good relationship, so I was hurt even harder when she was telling friends that we were broken up, but not telling me, telling me something totally different.

20:51🔗 Adam Well, listen, hold on a second, listen to me very carefully, Dennis. The reason she tells you something totally different is you're a guy that's very difficult to tell the truth to. You don't hear it real well and you make your own truth out of it. She was giving you very strong signals that you weren't picking up on. She was scared that you were going to freak out and do something crazy, and so she wasn't leveling with you. And as it turns out, she was probably right. Now, why is it that you can't hear what she's trying to tell you? Not verbally, but from a signal standpoint? Not talking to you, not returning your calls. Can't you pick up that message?

21:29🔗 Caller Well, no, she would return my calls, but she would leave a voice message and that was it.

21:36🔗 Adam She didn't want to contact you. Why doesn't that mean anything to you?

21:40🔗 Caller Well, it means a lot now because I promised her because I do really like her, and I know she likes me, because she even shows it now.

21:48🔗 Adam I'm not so sure she really likes you. Why doesn't she...

21:51🔗 Caller Why does she continue... I mean, I'm 30 years old. I can accept... I can be rejected, but as long... I mean, she originally said that if she was going to even break up with me, that she would tell me, and she still has not told me.

22:06🔗 Adam All right, wait a minute.

22:06🔗 Drew Should we call her and say...

22:07🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Yeah, let's talk to her. Can we talk to her?

22:10🔗 Caller No, she doesn't... she lives like... .a few blocks from me. She's not here.

22:14🔗 Caller That's...

22:15🔗 Adam Listen, Dennis, how old is she?

22:17🔗 Caller She's 27.

22:18🔗 Adam Okay. But Dennis, doesn't it seem like she's kind of done with the relationship?

22:24🔗 Caller I know she is, but she still hasn't explained to me why. I mean, you don't just tell somebody you love this guy, and then the next day, when you wake up, you decide to break up.

22:33🔗 Drew Yes, it happens all the time. Everybody does that, Dennis.

22:36🔗 Adam Everyone does that.

22:36🔗 Drew That's what relationships are about.

22:39🔗 Caller Well, this is my first one. I'm just trying to figure it out.

22:41🔗 Adam All right. But listen, Dennis, you're not trying to figure it out. You're hurt.

22:45🔗 Drew You're trying to resist feeling it. You're acting out.

22:46🔗 Adam Yes.

22:48🔗 Drew You're not accepting reality. You'll do anything but accept it.

22:51🔗 Adam The reality is she does not want to be in a relationship with you. Your reality is you need to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with you.

23:00🔗 Drew And you're also...

23:01🔗 Adam God knows who that person is.

23:03🔗 Drew But also...

23:04🔗 Adam I've not met that person.

23:05🔗 Drew Your perception is...

23:06🔗 Adam She's out there.

23:07🔗 Drew If she told me she loved me, I will not allow her to change those feelings.

23:10🔗 Caller You said you met that person or...?

23:13🔗 Drew No.

23:13🔗 Adam No, I've not met that person.

23:14🔗 Caller Okay, I couldn't quite hear you.

23:16🔗 Adam All right, Dennis, please. Listen, I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry you were in love. Nothing worse than the unrequited love thing. But she ain't into you. No, you do not need an explanation from her. It'd be nice if she gave you one, but she's not going to give you one.

23:29🔗 Drew Sometimes there aren't any.

23:31🔗 Adam That's right.

23:31🔗 Drew Many to most of the times there aren't.

23:34🔗 Adam As a shrink told me, the only thing I ever remember from all the years of therapy, Drew, is I had a girlfriend when I was like 21. I was madly in love with her. She dumped me. I wouldn't accept it. I like stalked her for eight months. It was the worst year of my life. And I've been to the shrink many a time. And normally, I don't learn anything, as you know, through my actions, Drew. But the shrink just finally looked at me and she just said, sometimes no means no and that's it. That's it. It's just some... No, she said, sometimes the answer is no and that's it. You've got to move on. No explanation, no right or wrong. No, he said, she said, just no.

24:26🔗 Drew That's it.

24:27🔗 Adam And it hurts, but you got to move on.

24:30🔗 Drew That's right.

24:30🔗 Caller All right.

24:31🔗 Adam Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

24:33🔗 Drew Nobody. We're going to take a break.

24:35🔗 Adam Good. The answer is no.

24:36🔗 Drew No sometimes. Absolutely.

24:38🔗 Adam That's right.

24:43🔗 Caller We'll be right back with more. Love Line.

25:13🔗 Drew Welcome back to Loveline, I'm Dr. Drew, Adam Corolla is out there somewhere. Phone number, there you are, 1-800-LOVE-191-FACTS-NUMBER-310-854-4455. Tomorrow night, our guest is Rosebud from the movie American Pimp. It'll be very interesting. Will you be back here tomorrow night?

25:28🔗 Adam Oh, yes.

25:29🔗 Drew That's cool.

25:31🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. I got to do a radio junket.

25:38🔗 Caller Radio media here.

25:39🔗 Drew Here or there?

25:40🔗 Adam Yes. Well, I'm doing it here. And here's, you guys can just do the math any way you want it. You tell me which is less painful.

25:47🔗 Drew 6 a.m. New York time.

25:49🔗 Adam Oh, no, no, 7 a.m. New York time. But I will not get in bed till 4 a.m. Tonight. Or if you want to translate it into LA time, it'd be the equivalent of going to bed at 1 and doing it at 4 a.m. That's nice. Or 3 a.m. or something like that. Oh, I got to kill myself. All right. What's going on?

26:09🔗 Drew Who are we talking to? It's an interesting guy that hates work, too.

26:13🔗 Adam I know. I swear no one will believe me, but I'm lazy.

26:16🔗 Drew See, for me, I really like work. And so for me, it's like, okay, it's more work. It's fine.

26:21🔗 Adam No, you don't like it. You're just scared not to work.

26:23🔗 Drew No, I do. I really like it, Adam. I do.

26:26🔗 Adam Yes, you like it like a junkie likes methadone.

26:28🔗 Drew No, there's that quality, too, to my work. But I also happen to like it.

26:34🔗 Adam You see, there's like a 20-foot image of your dad behind you yelling, Mocsh now, cracking a whip and laughing as a nickels fall from his pockets, like water cascading over a waterfall.

26:46🔗 Drew All right, here's Christie. She's 20. What's going on?

26:49🔗 Caller What's up, guys?

26:50🔗 Drew Not much.

26:50🔗 Adam Hey, Christie.

26:51🔗 Caller All right, cool. Okay, I am two weeks late on my period, right?

26:55🔗 Drew Have you been sexually active?

26:57🔗 Caller Yes.

26:57🔗 Drew All right, so.

26:58🔗 Caller But, I mean, I am a ball of hormones. I'm about to kill my boyfriend, my co-workers, my roommate. And I'm just wondering, is there anything I can do to, like, induce this so I can just get over with? I'm a bitch right now, and I need help.

27:10🔗 Drew How do you know you're not pregnant?

27:13🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure I'm not. I've only had sex twice in the last month, and I was very protected both times.

27:18🔗 Drew What'd you do?

27:20🔗 Caller Condom and spermicide.

27:22🔗 Drew And the condom used properly, you know, that they work for sure?

27:25🔗 Caller Right.

27:25🔗 Drew And by the condom and spermicide?

27:27🔗 Caller No, no, no, condom wants, spermicide wants.

27:30🔗 Drew Spermicide is worthless.

27:32🔗 Caller Worthless?

27:32🔗 Drew Worthless. So that is not protected at all. How the hell do you think that was carefully protected?

27:37🔗 Adam Drew, wait a minute, if you eat enough of it, isn't it effective?

27:40🔗 Drew How could you have thought for a second that was carefully protected?

27:44🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, what's the deal with that anyway?

27:46🔗 Adam Well, Drew, listen to her twang.

27:47🔗 Drew It doesn't do anything, really. It's very ineffective.

27:52🔗 Adam They have spermicide to use in conjunction with the condom, right?

27:56🔗 Drew It's always supposed to be used in conjunction with a barrier, always, always, always. A condom, a diaphragm, something else.

28:03🔗 Caller Okay.

28:03🔗 Drew By itself, forget it.

28:05🔗 Caller Okay. Well-

28:06🔗 Drew So you're pregnant.

28:07🔗 Caller I don't think so, no.

28:08🔗 Drew Christy.

28:09🔗 Caller Yes.

28:10🔗 Drew You've had sex unprotected, you're two weeks late on your period.

28:13🔗 Caller Right.

28:13🔗 Drew Let's do the math here.

28:15🔗 Caller Right, but I mean, I'm usually a little late, but not this late.

28:19🔗 Adam Oh, okay. All right. Well there, you made a very valid point. Christy, are you in law by any chance? I could see you in front of the judge making a point or two.

28:30🔗 Drew Think about what you just said, Christy.

28:32🔗 Caller Right, well I'm persuasive, give me that.

28:34🔗 Drew What?

28:35🔗 Adam Oh yeah, you're very persuasive. You make a very compelling argument. Yeah, uh, yeah.

28:41🔗 Drew Well I'm just not, I'm just not pregnant.

28:43🔗 Caller So say I take the pregnancy test and I'm not pregnant, and then is there anything I can do to induce my period?

28:49🔗 Adam Can't you hop up and down?

28:52🔗 Caller Come on, I'm trying here.

28:54🔗 Drew I think you're pregnant.

28:55🔗 Caller No, I really don't think I am.

28:57🔗 Drew Why not?

28:58🔗 Caller I will go tomorrow and take a pregnancy test if you think I should.

29:01🔗 Drew Absolutely. Why would you think you're not pregnant? I understand.

29:04🔗 Caller Because I just, I mean twice in the last month and I was protected both times.

29:08🔗 Drew Christy, you were not protected one of those times.

29:11🔗 Caller Okay.

29:11🔗 Drew You were not protected. Why can't you get that through your head?

29:14🔗 Adam Whatever you say, doctor.

29:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

29:16🔗 Adam Come on. She's got a GED under her belt. You're going to argue with her?

29:20🔗 Caller No.

29:20🔗 Drew From now on, if you want to be protected, get on the birth control pill. At least have the morning after pill available.

29:25🔗 Caller It makes me crazy though.

29:26🔗 Drew Then get emergency contraception to be available if a condom fails.

29:30🔗 Caller Okay.

29:31🔗 Adam Hey Christy.

29:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:33🔗 Adam If you went crazy, no one would know.

29:35🔗 Caller No, I am crazy though when I'm on the pill. I've taken it like five times and have to stop after the first month. It makes me rage.

29:42🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe you can switch pills to one that's more agreeable.

29:45🔗 Drew That's right. There's multiple different types out there.

29:47🔗 Adam Hi Christy. Don't worry. You're not pregnant.

29:49🔗 Drew Yeah. Because you say so.

29:51🔗 Adam When you have the show, I can see her. Christy would have a four-year-old and still claim not to be pregnant.

29:57🔗 Drew That's right.

29:58🔗 Adam All right.

29:58🔗 Drew Sean 14. Hey Sean.

30:01🔗 Adam Sean, what's up?

30:02🔗 Caller Nothing much.

30:04🔗 Adam Good times.

30:04🔗 Drew What's the question? All right.

30:05🔗 Adam Is that it? Huh? Hang up on him.

30:08🔗 Drew I can't do it. Mark is 21. Mark?

30:11🔗 Yes.

30:11🔗 Drew What's going on?

30:13🔗 My question is, I'm 21 and I masturbate every day because when I don't, I can't concentrate on stuff and just like sex is in my mind until I masturbate. So I wonder if that's normal or not.

30:28🔗 Adam Yes. The 21 once a day is a little light. Don't worry about you. Are you okay? Drinking enough fluids?

30:36🔗 Yeah, I'm drinking enough fluids. All normal, no drugs, nothing. You're just annoying to do it every day. I just wonder if there's anything I could do to stop that. Really?

30:46🔗 Drew You could do it twice a day.

30:48🔗 Adam How big a time commitment is that once a day?

30:51🔗 Not much, but it's just annoying.

30:53🔗 Adam What do you mean annoying? Since when is your sperm annoying? Think about it.

31:00🔗 Well, it's kind of... I mean, you need to do it with a girl every time, not just by yourself. It's kind of lame.

31:06🔗 Adam All right. Hang up on him. I've had enough of him. Listen, Drew, I don't like... Here's... Let me explain my feeling on loving oneself. It is not to replace being with a woman. It's a ritual unto itself. Do you know what I'm saying, Drew? This is what the purists think, and I'm a purist. I know you like to pass judgment. A lot of guys out there is like, hey, you're fagging off with yourself, or why don't you get a woman? She could do that for you. It has nothing to do with a woman doing it for you. This is something you've done. You'll always do. And you did a long time ago, and you'll continue to do it. I think I'll be doing it in the grave. Although, there's a little bit of a problem when you're on the road, you know, Drew?

31:54🔗 Drew Yeah.

31:54🔗 Adam The masturbation.

31:55🔗 Drew When you... Well, tell me.

31:57🔗 Adam Well, here's the problem.

32:00🔗 Drew No hamper.

32:01🔗 Adam You should hamper. Yeah. I'm gonna start traveling with my hamper. Yeah, I can see that. You know, it's my next move. You know how those rich widows like travel with their toy poodles?

32:13🔗 Drew Sure.

32:14🔗 Adam Like, you know, Zsa Zsa Gabor's got to get on the plane with their shih tzu. I'd like to travel with my hamper.

32:22🔗 Drew Yeah. With your thumb in your mouth, too.

32:23🔗 Adam Get an extra seat in first class. You know, have it set up next to me on the chair. I can see it. I can see it, yeah. Talking to it, have it fall asleep on my lap. Now, here's the problem, quite frankly, with the hotel room. What do you mop up with? You're not gonna use a pair of your underpants because then you got to pack them and take them back with you, right?

32:42🔗 Drew Right.

32:43🔗 Adam So what do you do? Grab a towel and let the maid deal with it? Do you know what I'm saying, Drew?

32:48🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah. There's a new invention. There's two of them, in fact, toilet paper and Kleenex.

32:54🔗 Adam Yeah, let me explain the problem with toilet paper and Kleenex. It does not have enough plies. It's not a thick enough mill for me. It breaks off my belly, looks like daycapage.

33:09🔗 Drew Paper mache?

33:10🔗 Adam You understand? Yeah, I'm walking around with a half a roll of toilet paper stuck to my belly for the next day and a half.

33:15🔗 Drew You could make a penis extender out of that. You understand?

33:19🔗 Adam Yeah, like a paper mache penis?

33:21🔗 Drew Right. I'm thinking that would do for your esteem.

33:24🔗 Adam All right. I may try that tonight, but it really, I need a roll of paper towels. Like I said, I'm just going to start traveling with my hamper. Here's the new policy. If anyone books me on a show or I have to travel or something, it's two tickets. For some people, it's you and a companion, for me, it's me and my hamper.

33:40🔗 Drew By the way, this is probably why that audience was so irritated with you. They wanted the hamper.

33:45🔗 Adam Oh, they hated me. Yeah, they wanted my funny sidekick, a hamper.

33:49🔗 Drew Rebecca, 17.

33:50🔗 Caller Hello.

33:51🔗 Drew Hi.

33:52🔗 Caller My question is, if one were to purge for like two weeks and only two weeks, what are the major effects of that?

34:00🔗 Drew Major effects?

34:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:02🔗 Drew If you tear your esophagus and start bleeding, you could bleed to death. That would be the major effect.

34:06🔗 Caller How would you tear the esophagus?

34:07🔗 Drew From vomiting.

34:09🔗 Caller No, I mean, if your fingernail didn't cut or something, just the vomit would tear it?

34:13🔗 Drew Yes. It's called Mallory Weiss tear. And also you can get gastritis. It could stress the heart and kidney, but usually that's something that happens after months and months of doing this.

34:23🔗 Adam Why just a two week plan? You got a prom coming up, sister?

34:26🔗 Drew Electrolyte problems. You could have heart problems on that basis.

34:29🔗 Caller No, I'm just trying to lose a few pounds.

34:32🔗 Drew People don't purge just in two weeks, by the way.

34:34🔗 Adam You got a guy you met on the internet coming in?

34:36🔗 Caller Oh my gosh, no.

34:38🔗 Adam Why are you going two weeks? What's coming up? What's in two weeks?

34:41🔗 Caller No, I just need to lose weight. My mom says I need to lose weight, too, and it's just exercise. I exercise constantly, but it's not really getting rid of my stomach. Okay.

34:52🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, two weeks is not going to make a life change. You know what I mean?

34:59🔗 Caller Wouldn't it take a few pounds off, though?

35:00🔗 Caller No.

35:01🔗 Adam Well, yeah, let's be honest.

35:02🔗 Drew It would dehydrate you.

35:06🔗 Adam Listen, don't eat any carbohydrates. You'll lose weight.

35:10🔗 Caller It will take a long time, though. What?

35:15🔗 Adam Listen, how old are you?

35:16🔗 Caller Seventeen.

35:17🔗 Adam All right. How long you've been chunky?

35:21🔗 Caller I'm not overweight or anything. I just have any kind I need to get rid of.

35:26🔗 Drew How much do you weigh?

35:27🔗 Caller I'm 134.

35:28🔗 Drew How tall are you?

35:29🔗 Caller I'm 6.

35:31🔗 Drew You're overweight.

35:33🔗 Adam Drew, please.

35:34🔗 Caller 134.

35:35🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen to me. Okay. So you're not overweight. How long have you had that gut?

35:41🔗 Caller About a year now.

35:43🔗 Adam Okay. You can't go another month with it? It's got to be two weeks?

35:48🔗 Caller Well, I'm really trying to get rid of it because I did this once before, but I only did it a couple of times because of my mom.

35:54🔗 Drew Rebecca, Rebecca, there is no one that does it. This is like a heroin addict just doing it just for two weeks. It doesn't work like that.

36:00🔗 Caller Well, I was able to stop for a year last I did it.

36:03🔗 Drew Yeah. It's a relapsing, remitting condition and it progresses just like other kinds of compulsive behaviors. You need to meet with a dietician. Somebody can really put together a healthy plan for you that will-

36:12🔗 Caller Oh my gosh, my mom would kill me if she found out I did this or something.

36:15🔗 Drew You saw a dietician? I know mom's in every sentence here. My mom, my mom, my mom, yeah.

36:20🔗 Adam Yeah. That's what causes the eating disorder. If you were a guy, you'd be gay. Mom will turn a guy, intrusive mom turns guys gay and it turns women into people with eating disorders. This is what's happening. You got a gay brother?

36:37🔗 Caller No.

36:39🔗 Adam Are you sure?

36:40🔗 Caller Yes, I'm sure. My brother is 11 years old.

36:42🔗 Caller I don't even think-

36:43🔗 Adam Aha. No, no, no. Take him six months.

36:46🔗 Caller No.

36:46🔗 Adam Six months, eight months outside.

36:48🔗 Caller Oh my gosh, no.

36:50🔗 Adam Keep an eye on that lad.

36:52🔗 Drew All right. So where are we going here? Rebecca, you need some help here, kiddo. You got some major stuff going on. I know to you this is all, oh, this is fun, this is nothing, it's no big deal. That is massive denial on your part. You don't understand what you're getting into here.

37:04🔗 Caller My mom didn't freak out like a whole lot.

37:06🔗 Drew Rebecca, we're not talking about your mom. We're talking about you.

37:09🔗 Caller He's a doctor though.

37:11🔗 Drew Rebecca? Yes. I don't want to hear about your mom anymore.

37:14🔗 Caller Okay.

37:14🔗 Drew It's about you. These are major, major issues. These are not trivial.

37:20🔗 Caller But would it really like affect me?

37:21🔗 Caller Because I've heard it affects pregnancy and then-

37:24🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

37:25🔗 Adam Did you hang up on her? I'll tell you, if that Rebecca was a jukebox, I'd kick her. That's the way I feel about her. Oh, my God. Listen, don't bother calling the goddamn show if you don't want to listen. She can't hear. She can't hear. Intrusive doctor mom. Listen, in one breath, you're telling us your mom's gonna kill you if you don't lose the punch on your gut. In the second breath, you're telling us your mom's gonna kill you if you went to a dietician. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which one is it? I mean, say to mom, hey, mom, you want me to lose this gut? I'd like to lose it, too. How about I talk to a dietician?

38:06🔗 Drew Absolutely.

38:07🔗 Adam That's it. Mom's a doctor. Surely she can understand that. All right. Let's take ourselves a little break. Drew, who are we going to talk to when we come back?

38:15🔗 Drew When we get back, we will talk to, oh boy. Let's just try with Sean again, the 14-year-old that couldn't quite get it together when we talked to him last time.

38:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

38:26🔗 Drew Want to try again?

38:27🔗 Adam Oh boy. Talk about a carrot out on a string. That's going to keep, listen, I host a show. I won't come back for him.

38:32🔗 Drew All right.

38:33🔗 Adam Give me someone better than that.

38:34🔗 Drew Painful balls, pain in the stomach during orgasm, donate sperm for money.

38:38🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, donate sperm for money.

38:40🔗 Drew That sounds good.

38:41🔗 Adam All right, when we come back, we'll speak to Mike, who's selling his men off after this.

38:47🔗 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, back in a minute.

38:50🔗 Adam Well, it's worth hearing.

39:20🔗 Drew Welcome back to Loveline, phone number here once again, 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam.

39:27🔗 Adam Yay. Good times, buddy.

39:29🔗 Drew It's nice to have you. As much as I enjoy our intimate discussions that we have whenever you're completely intoxicated, it's nice to see you and hear you not slurring, not embarrassing me.

39:41🔗 Adam Oh, how dare you. Really, did I sound drunk last night?

39:47🔗 Drew Want a sample? Yeah, listen, listen. Here it is.

39:51🔗 Adam I need a hair from the whore that bit me.

39:54🔗 Drew Okay.

39:57🔗 Adam That's funny.

39:58🔗 Drew Yeah, but can you hear the qualities in the voice?

40:03🔗 Adam Listen, I sound a little like Otis from the Andy Griffith Show.

40:06🔗 Drew Sit your moist ass down.

40:09🔗 Adam Yeah, but listen, Drew, to be fair to me, I'm sure I was drunk, but I'd been traveling for two straight days. I would have been out of it anyway. Thank God I had the buzz going.

40:21🔗 Drew Thank God.

40:22🔗 Adam To really give us an angle, something to work off of.

40:25🔗 Drew Yes, because God knows we had nothing to work from such as it was. Mike's 21. Donate sperm for money.

40:31🔗 Caller Yes.

40:32🔗 Adam How old are you, Mike? 21, that's right.

40:34🔗 Drew Are you drinking now?

40:36🔗 Adam Well, I'm stoned. That's all.

40:38🔗 Caller There you go.

40:39🔗 Adam 21. All right. What are you doing? Going to college?

40:43🔗 Caller I go to college.

40:45🔗 Adam Yes. Okay. So answer is yes.

40:46🔗 Drew What's the question?

40:47🔗 Caller Well, I've got questions. I want your opinion. Well, I've been donating sperm for about a year and a half now. A lot of my friends I've talked to have said it's really weird.

41:02🔗 Caller Like, how can you do that?

41:03🔗 Caller Where are your morals at? And then like maybe a couple other people I talked to said, hey, I'd do it. I'd do it.

41:08🔗 Drew Well, how does morality figure into this?

41:10🔗 Caller Well, I have morals and-

41:14🔗 Drew How do you figure morality figures into this?

41:17🔗 Caller You know what? I'm on the fence right now. I'm not sure if it's right or wrong.

41:24🔗 Adam How much do you get?

41:26🔗 Caller How much do I get per donation or?

41:31🔗 Adam Every year in four months.

41:34🔗 Caller They pay me every four times and it's $50 per-

41:37🔗 Adam Every four times.

41:39🔗 Caller It's $50 per donation, so it's $200.

41:41🔗 Drew Like $12.50 per.

41:43🔗 Adam All right. So you couldn't have said $50 bucks a pop, huh?

41:46🔗 Drew No, it's $50 for four.

41:47🔗 Caller No, no, no.

41:48🔗 Drew For four pop.

41:48🔗 Caller $200 for four.

41:49🔗 Caller They pay me every four times.

41:51🔗 Drew I see.

41:51🔗 Caller All right.

41:52🔗 Adam So it's $50 a pop.

41:54🔗 Caller Right.

41:54🔗 Adam Okay. What was that? A half hour ago, we were trying to get into that?

41:57🔗 Drew It doesn't make $250 though. Hey, what would be wrong with it? I'm trying to understand.

42:02🔗 Adam Wait a minute, Drew. Why does that make $250?

42:04🔗 Drew I said $200 is what I said.

42:05🔗 Caller Yeah, $200.

42:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. But Drew, why are you going back and revisiting that? It's $50 a pop, right?

42:12🔗 Drew He said he has paid every four $250. And I said, well, every four is not $250. That is $200.

42:17🔗 Adam No, he said he got $200.

42:18🔗 Drew He said $250.

42:19🔗 Adam No, he didn't. He said $200.

42:21🔗 Caller $50. $50.

42:23🔗 Drew All right, whatever. Listen, what would be wrong with it?

42:27🔗 Caller Mike, I love about this show.

42:29🔗 Caller I've asked, like, the place I go, I've been asking them, like, do you, like, how do you look at this? Are these my kids? You know, am I going to hear from it, you know, like, 10 years from now? And they're like, no, you know, just confidential, you know, this and that.

42:45🔗 Drew What would be wrong with it? What are your thoughts?

42:46🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on, Mike. Hold on a second. I mean, Drew, stop pursuing this line with this idiot.

42:52🔗 Drew He hasn't answered once what his thoughts are.

42:54🔗 Adam Well, obviously, he can't articulate himself, and I don't really blame him for a change. I mean, he's having misgivings about it.

43:02🔗 Drew Yeah, but he put it in a moral context.

43:04🔗 Adam There's implicit moral... How?

43:08🔗 Drew Tell me how...

43:09🔗 Adam .territory that comes with this. What do you mean, tell me how? You're creating a life with your seed that you're not going to be a part of.

43:17🔗 Drew And I understand that people would be uncomfortable with that, but how does morality figure into that?

43:24🔗 Adam You're not going to get an answer from him.

43:28🔗 Drew Why is that different than adoption? Is something morally wrong with adoption?

43:32🔗 Adam Well, listen...

43:34🔗 Drew I don't know. I'm just asking.

43:35🔗 Adam Drew, you don't know.

43:37🔗 Drew That's right.

43:37🔗 Adam You don't have any feelings on this. You think it's perfectly fine. You wouldn't mind if your child just delivered his seed for 50 bucks a pop once a week.

43:47🔗 Drew I could see where people would be uncomfortable with it. But if... I wouldn't choose to do it and I wouldn't feel comfortable.

43:53🔗 Adam Why wouldn't you feel comfortable? Why wouldn't you choose to do it?

43:55🔗 Drew It just seems weird to have...

43:57🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

43:57🔗 Drew But that's not a moral issue.

43:59🔗 Adam Yes, it is. It's based on morality. I mean, it's a moral question. And, you know, maybe we're putting to find a point on it. But for lack of a better term, we're just going with moral here. Do you know what I'm saying?

44:12🔗 Drew Yeah, and I think it's mis... not applied properly. That's what I was getting at.

44:16🔗 Adam Well, it may not be 100 percent, but what word would you use?

44:21🔗 Drew You're uncomfortable. It's weird. You don't feel...

44:23🔗 Adam Yeah, but why is it weird, Drew?

44:25🔗 Drew It's weird to know that you're messing with the biology. You're sort of screwing with mother nature a little bit.

44:31🔗 Adam Okay, why would abortion be immoral? Or why would you use that term toward abortion?

44:36🔗 Drew Because that has to... the issues of...

44:39🔗 Adam That has to do with procreation and life.

44:41🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, termination of life without justification. Even if you had justification, you wouldn't call that a moral issue. But the fact is, Donnie and Sperm is sort of in the same realm as adoption. You're creating life and then allowing somebody else to raise it. Is that a problem? And is it more of a problem because you're sort of creating more potential from that than even adoption? Adoption happens more than a time.

45:02🔗 Adam But he's not doing it for philanthropic reasons. He's doing it so he can buy more top ramen.

45:08🔗 Drew So creating a market, so that is a moral issue. Is it proper to take a market and make sperm, a market for sperm? That is a moral issue, I think. Anyway.

45:18🔗 Adam Alright, so the question is what do they want Mike's sperm for?

45:22🔗 Drew Mike?

45:23🔗 Adam And how much does the top grade stuff go for?

45:26🔗 Drew Mixing it with Donkey.

45:27🔗 Caller Well, sometimes I've got a low count and they give me less. Less money?

45:35🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

45:35🔗 Drew They give you less money if your sperm count's low?

45:37🔗 Caller Right.

45:38🔗 Drew No way.

45:39🔗 Caller I'm serious.

45:41🔗 Caller Really? Well, yeah. I mean if you don't have the 70 mil or whatever it is that you need, they can't pay you top dollar for it because it's...

45:51🔗 Adam And what's the procedure? How do you go about it?

45:54🔗 Caller Well, I...

45:55🔗 Drew What's the gradation?

45:58🔗 Caller How to get initiated into this or how do you...

46:00🔗 Adam Okay, listen, Drew, stop talking. What is the procedure? How do you go about doing this?

46:05🔗 Caller I go down to the clinic, knock on the back door, let in. I sign in my personal code and grab a cup and turn on a flick or open a mag and do what I gotta do.

46:22🔗 Adam And then you hand them the cup and they give you 50 bucks?

46:26🔗 Caller No, no, no. I hand them the cup and then every four times...

46:31🔗 Adam Yeah, okay. All right. They give you $200, which is equivalent to 50 bucks. Would you hang up on him? He's driving me insane.

46:37🔗 Thank you.

46:38🔗 Adam All right.

46:40🔗 All right.

46:40🔗 Adam I don't know why they want his sperm. Don't you have to have... Isn't there some criteria, Drew?

46:45🔗 Drew Don't you need to be special in some way?

46:47🔗 Adam Well, I mean, aren't they... And stop me if I'm wrong, but aren't they looking for guys, let's say, over six foot tall or blue eyes or with a master's degree, a little bit of a pedigree? You know what I'm talking about?

47:01🔗 Drew I would think, but I don't know. All right, Sean, we'll try again. 14, Sean?

47:07🔗 Caller Hey, okay, I have a question for you.

47:09🔗 Drew Yeah.

47:09🔗 Caller Okay, every single time I'm with my girlfriend, if we're like laying in bed or making out or something, I'll get a hard on.

47:17🔗 Drew Yeah?

47:19🔗 Caller Out of nowhere, I'll just like get a hard on. And I was wondering like...

47:22🔗 Drew It's not out of nowhere, you're making out.

47:24🔗 Caller I know, but like, I'll try, I'll just like get a hard on. And I was like wondering what I could do to like make it go away. I tried thinking of other things, but it just doesn't work.

47:33🔗 Adam Why do you want it to go away?

47:35🔗 Caller Because it's, I don't know, it's just there. She's like not exactly into sex or anything like that. And...

47:43🔗 Adam Well, she's 13.

47:45🔗 Drew Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to do anything with it.

47:48🔗 Caller Okay.

47:49🔗 Adam God knows. I'd love to know, hang up on Sean, please. I'd love to know the percentage of times I've actually utilized an erection. You know what I mean? I would kill myself immediately if I knew the answer to that question. I would say it'd be about every 45,000 erections I've had over the course of my lifetime. Have I actually used it?

48:12🔗 Drew Get deployed.

48:13🔗 Adam Yeah, it's been deployed. And if you eliminated masturbation from that equation, it'd go up to... Four million. A Google. You can't count that high.

48:22🔗 Drew All right, listen, we gotta go to break.

48:24🔗 Adam Fine.

48:24🔗 Drew All right, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. Hey, welcome back to Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla is here. Adam.

49:17🔗 Adam Yay, buddy. Oh, Christ.

49:20🔗 Drew Anderson loves that intro. He gives it the, right at that break.

49:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:27🔗 Drew Let's burn through some calls here, shall we?

49:29🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

49:30🔗 Drew Oh, he doesn't have his cowbell. He can't do it. Here we go. Ready?

49:35🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm ready, Drew. I've been ready for five years, buddy.

49:38🔗 Drew Brett, 21.

49:38🔗 Adam Just waiting for you to make a move.

49:40🔗 Brett, yeah.

49:41🔗 Drew How's it going on?

49:42🔗 Caller Yeah, for the last couple of weeks, my balls have been hurting and stuff. And it's like a sharp pain in there.

49:49🔗 And I went to the doctors to see what was wrong.

49:52🔗 Caller And they said that they thought it was just an infection in there. And I felt my balls and I got a bump in there. And it feels like, like a hard thingy in there. And I don't know what's going on.

50:05🔗 Drew Well, if there's any question, they would do an ultrasound to see if there's a tumor, but it's very typical for and very common for men to get infections in the epididymis, the little region that sits on top of the testes. And if Adam, if you were here, I'd show you on the anatomy book we have here.

50:18🔗 Adam Oh, I know well. It's the yarmulke on top of the nut.

50:21🔗 Drew Yeah. I mean, it's inflammation of the urethra, the prostate can predispose to that, STDs, certainly. And sometimes nothing. You just kind of get it sometimes. Bacteria gets down there somehow. It's not a big deal. It's uncomfortable.

50:32🔗 Caller Yeah. I went in there and he told me to go back there in two weeks to get an ultrasound.

50:38🔗 Drew Good.

50:38🔗 Caller And it's been about a week and it feels like the lump is growing or getting bigger.

50:45🔗 Drew Did he put you on antibiotics or anti-inflammatory? Yeah.

50:47🔗 Caller He put me on antibiotics and...

50:50🔗 Drew Good. It's all the right thing, Brett. Just the right thing to do. And when they ultrasound it, they'll be able to tell you for sure it's nothing to worry about. Okay?

50:56🔗 All right. I hope so.

50:58🔗 Drew All right, Drew.

50:58🔗 I just want to throw a holler out, my buddy.

51:01🔗 Adam No, Drew. Hey, Drew, don't you understand? Put the person on hold when you're ramping up with them. And when you go, all right, buddy, moving on, don't wait for them to go, uh, uh, want to give a shout out, just put them on hold. God, please.

51:16🔗 Drew Valerie, 15.

51:18🔗 Caller Yes?

51:19🔗 Drew What's going on, Valerie?

51:21🔗 Caller Like, I'm really horny, and I want to know how to stop being horny. Um, like, I'm having, like, sex constantly, but not-

51:30🔗 Drew Different guys or the same guy or?

51:33🔗 Caller Mm, it depends on if I have a boyfriend. If I'm with somebody, I'll try to have sex with him.

51:39🔗 Drew Are there older guys?

51:40🔗 Caller Um, I usually go for the older guys.

51:43🔗 Drew How much older?

51:44🔗 Caller Um, between 17 and 20.

51:49🔗 Drew Adam, you want to ask the questions?

51:50🔗 Adam Where's your dad? Where's your dad?

51:54🔗 Caller I don't know.

51:56🔗 Adam When's the last time you saw him?

52:00🔗 Caller Um, I'm not really sure who my dad is actually. I never really was in contact with my dad.

52:08🔗 Drew How about the step dads? Oh, no.

52:11🔗 Caller Um, like, my mom, I don't live with her either.

52:15🔗 Adam Who do you live with?

52:16🔗 Caller Um, I used to live with my grandparents, but we got in this big ordeal like a month ago, and now I'm living with my aunt.

52:24🔗 Drew What happened with your grandparents?

52:26🔗 Caller Huh?

52:26🔗 Drew What happened with your grandparents?

52:28🔗 Caller What happened with my grandparents?

52:30🔗 Adam Okay. Do you have a chalkboard that you could write that out on so we could then strap it to a carrier pigeon and bring it over to her goddamn house?

52:39🔗 Drew You said there was a big ordeal that happened just recently.

52:42🔗 Caller Well, yeah. Um, we got in a fight, and I yelled at her, and I ran away for like a week, two weeks, almost.

52:48🔗 Drew Did they hit you?

52:50🔗 Caller No.

52:50🔗 Drew Have they ever hit you?

52:52🔗 Caller No. Like, it's constantly fighting in that house because of my brother.

52:57🔗 Drew What's wrong with your brother?

52:59🔗 Caller My brother is like, he's 14, but he has ADHD and OCD.

53:04🔗 Drew Did he ever do anything to you?

53:06🔗 Caller My brother? No.

53:10🔗 Drew Adam, your brother ever do anything to you?

53:12🔗 Adam Uh, well, let's see. What day is it? Um, no.

53:21🔗 Drew Valerie, some male's brother.

53:21🔗 Adam Did your brother ever do anything to you, Valerie?

53:23🔗 Caller To somebody else.

53:24🔗 Drew Who's somebody else?

53:25🔗 Adam Hey, hey.

53:26🔗 Drew Tell us, Ponna, who did it? Who did something to you?

53:29🔗 Caller Well, like, I was, like, introduced to sex whenever I was, like, in kindergarten.

53:34🔗 Caller All right. Valerie?

53:35🔗 Drew You weren't introduced to it, Valerie. You were sexually abused. You were molested.

53:38🔗 Caller Well, it was by, like, a friend my age.

53:41🔗 Drew Right. That's one of the more common kinds of sexual abuse is child on child.

53:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:47🔗 Adam Here's the deal. Valerie, you got to get some, can you get some help, some therapy? Can you talk to somebody?

53:51🔗 Caller I have a counselor, but he's he's no good.

53:55🔗 Adam And he's fine. What's wrong with him?

53:59🔗 Caller Well, he doesn't care about me, like, with my situation with my grandparents. He told me, like, like, in the middle of our fight, like, it was like a week later and me and my grandparents, we had a session with him and like I wasn't planning on going home and my my grandma was all like, well, when are you going to meet with us again? And he's like, well, I really don't have time. I'm booked. So I'll try to call you guys later. And in my opinion, if he really cared about it, you know, we were going through like a family crisis, you know, like I was at home, you know, I ran away.

54:39🔗 Adam All right. When are you when are you going to see him again?

54:41🔗 Caller Um, I moved. Well, I'm living with my aunt now. And it's six hours away from where I was.

54:47🔗 Adam All right. You need to find a new. Can you tell your aunt you need a new counselor? You need to talk to somebody. In the meantime, stop having sex.

54:55🔗 Caller Well, and Drew, if I really fix. Well, OK.

54:59🔗 Adam OK. Listen, listen, I we can't get into all the details. You need to talk to a counselor. You need a new counselor. OK. And you need to talk to your aunt about setting you up with a new counselor. And Drew, here's what I've learned from this show. If you say to somebody on this show, where's your brother? And then they go, he's in the next room. And you go, what kind of guy is he? You cannot leave it open. You have to say, what kind of guy is he? Your brother. Because if you say, how's your brother? He's fine. What kind of guy is he? Do you realize the answer will be who?

55:39🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

55:41🔗 Adam And we also have the only listeners in the world who will say, I had a little incident involving an ice cream truck. And then you go, what happened? What happened? And they go, huh?

55:57🔗 Drew With what? What are you talking about?

55:58🔗 Adam What are you talking about? Can that be age? What is that, Drew? Is it us? I think it's us. It's got to be us.

56:06🔗 Drew It is from which you invented the term ego-tard.

56:10🔗 Adam Thank you. Thank you very much. I really I want that on my gravestone, ego-tard. Okay, Valerie needs to talk to a therapist in a bad way. Find a new one in your new location. And please not everyone is your daddy, Valerie. Stop having sex. I know you think it makes you feel better, but ultimately it makes you feel worse.

56:28🔗 Drew It reinforces all those bad feelings you have.

56:31🔗 Adam Dad, stop abandoning your little girls. You see what happens to them? All right. Who's next?

56:37🔗 Drew Greg, 16.

56:38🔗 Caller Greg?

56:39🔗 Caller Yep. What's going on?

56:41🔗 Caller I was wondering how these guys in pornos last so long.

56:44🔗 Drew Adam, tell him.

56:46🔗 Adam They have a penis that works. Well, it's like saying, how do these guys in the NBA jump so high? I can't jump that high.

56:54🔗 Drew It's also like saying, how did Luke Skywalker go so fast in that spaceship? It's on film.

57:02🔗 Adam Well, but no, Drew. Now, how dare you?

57:05🔗 Drew I'm sorry to break your image of the stars in your life.

57:09🔗 Adam No, but here's my point. I mean, my analogy is-

57:13🔗 Drew They're hired for the job.

57:15🔗 Adam The reason the guys in the NBA can jump higher than you can is why they're in the NBA.

57:20🔗 Drew Right.

57:21🔗 Adam The reason the guys are in porn movies can last for 45 minutes and then whip it out and have a money shot on cue. That is why they're in the porn industry. They happen to have a gift, one that I possess as well. I might have. Thank you. Except for the penis size. That one I can't do anything about. Frank. Next question.

57:42🔗 Drew Frank is 20.

57:44🔗 Adam Frank?

57:44🔗 Caller Yes. Hi. Yeah, I'm just calling because I have a question. I wanted to know what can I do to like, I think I'm a sex addict because constantly I'm going to the website. Like when I'm at work, I'm going to the porn website and usually get at seven o'clock in the morning. And I'm there by myself in the office until like 8.30, nine and I'm like, as soon as I get in, you know, I don't even have breakfast. I get in there and I just, that's the first thing I do.

58:16🔗 Drew What are you supposed to be doing, an air traffic control?

58:18🔗 Adam No, he works with kids.

58:19🔗 Caller Actually, no, actually I'm a travel agent.

58:22🔗 Adam Oh, close enough. And you, now do you masturbate at work?

58:29🔗 Caller Yes.

58:30🔗 Adam Yeah, you had to think about that one for a second.

58:33🔗 Caller No, not really.

58:34🔗 Adam Well, I don't really know.

58:35🔗 Caller Hopefully no one's going to hear me, you know, listen.

58:38🔗 Adam Listen, listen, let me explain. I've done that at every job I've had and there's never anything clearly posted that says you cannot masturbate.

58:45🔗 Drew Every morning at your desk?

58:49🔗 Caller At the desk?

58:51🔗 Caller Yes.

58:51🔗 Adam Wow. Aren't you scared someone's going to walk in?

58:54🔗 Caller Well, that's why I locked the door. It's a small office.

58:57🔗 Drew He looks like an eager beaver. He gets there early every day, Adam.

58:59🔗 Adam That's right.

59:00🔗 Drew He's first to work.

59:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

59:02🔗 Caller Yeah, but what I'm concerned is that now, it's gotten so bad that I'm so obsessed. I want to send them pictures of myself naked so that they can post them up in their websites. They actually have an email address where I could send pictures of me in my boxers and then they'll call me up. I'm so obsessed. I send them an email and I constantly...

59:26🔗 Drew Let me give you a...

59:27🔗 Adam Slow down there, Frank. What kind of websites are you looking at? Anything in particular?

59:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:32🔗 Drew Which ones?

59:33🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

59:35🔗 Drew What particular are you looking at?

59:36🔗 Adam We're back to it.

59:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I'm bisexual and I look at both.

59:42🔗 Drew So you were sexually abused at one time?

59:45🔗 Caller You know, I've been trying to figure that out because I don't really think that I was sexually abused.

59:52🔗 Drew Well, what do you think happened?

59:54🔗 Caller I don't know. I really don't know because I did do some drugs about a year ago and I haven't really been feeling well after doing them.

1:00:03🔗 Adam No, that ain't it.

1:00:06🔗 Caller I don't know. I've been through hell for the past year.

1:00:10🔗 Adam Listen, you gotta quiet down. You gotta go to SA.

1:00:13🔗 Drew Well, let me get it before you do it. Since you're on the web all the time, go to the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.

1:00:19🔗 Caller Okay.

1:00:19🔗 Drew Go to that website, the NCSAC.

1:00:22🔗 Caller NCA?

1:00:23🔗 Drew No, National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.

1:00:27🔗 Caller Okay. I mean, there's just.

1:00:31🔗 Drew It goes, it's www.ncsac.org.

1:00:37🔗 Caller Okay.

1:00:37🔗 Drew And then give us some referrals. Let's place you can get some help, perhaps.

1:00:41🔗 Adam And Frank, do it after you've whacked off, so you're in a sort of calmer state. You know what I mean?

1:00:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Because when you got that sperm in you, you're hard to deal with.

1:00:52🔗 Drew You're manifesting a syndrome that's typical of people that have been sexually abused. Okay.

1:00:56🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, is this why they put that loose sight piece of plastic down underneath the desk that the chair goes on? Is that what that's for? Yeah. I was curious.

1:01:06🔗 Drew I can just wipe it down, no problem.

1:01:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny, somebody told me once that was for the chair, you know, so it rolled around more easily.

1:01:14🔗 Drew Come on. You know how people have sort of euphemisms about those things.

1:01:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always called it a whack guard and people laugh, but I knew what it was there for.

1:01:21🔗 Drew They laughed because they were nervous that you figured it out.

1:01:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Same with that thing you put on the computer keyboard. You know, that cover?

1:01:27🔗 Drew The plastic thing.

1:01:28🔗 Adam Yeah. That's what that's for, right?

1:01:31🔗 Drew You bet that Frank's got one of those.

1:01:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:33🔗 Adam It's funny. They call it like a dust cover. That's funny, right?

1:01:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:36🔗 Drew It's all euphemism. It's all code.

1:01:38🔗 Adam It's so funny. Yeah. Frank's showing up at 7 a.m. every morning. I bet his boss is like, I wish more of you were like Frank. Look at him. He's in every morning. He's burning the midnight oil every night. He never leaves his desk and he always has a smile on his face and a roll of paper towels on his desk ready for action. Now, you guys should learn a lesson from Frank. Frank, come here. I'm going to give you a citation of merit.

1:02:03🔗 Drew Probably Frank stuck to his chair.

1:02:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Do you see what everyone's doing when you talk to everyone about making travel plans or masturbating?

1:02:10🔗 Drew Julie 28.

1:02:11🔗 Yeah. I have some questions. I have cramps when I have orgasms the week before my period.

1:02:18🔗 Drew Oh, interesting.

1:02:19🔗 Yeah.

1:02:20🔗 Drew That happens sometimes.

1:02:21🔗 Adam Fascinating.

1:02:22🔗 Drew Well, it happens to people sometimes. So what's the question?

1:02:25🔗 But is there anything you can do for it?

1:02:27🔗 Drew If you're more bloated, do you notice they get the pain worse?

1:02:32🔗 I really don't notice when the pain's coming. Like, I guess the more intense, the closer I get to orgasm, the pain starts, but then they don't stop.

1:02:41🔗 Drew But you can't associate it with a bloat or anything like that? And do you have painful periods generally? No. And where's the pain?

1:02:51🔗 It's in my lower abdomen. And it's not just like pain, it's like severe cramping, like I lose my bowels, my urine, everything.

1:03:01🔗 Drew You lose it?

1:03:02🔗 Yeah.

1:03:04🔗 Drew Help us understand that.

1:03:06🔗 Adam You cramp in your pants?

1:03:08🔗 No. Like when I have orgasm, I just all of a sudden get cramps, and so I run to the bathroom.

1:03:15🔗 Caller Well, that's not really-

1:03:16🔗 Adam is that losing your bowels?

1:03:17🔗 Drew No. Losing means you're incontinent. I mean, it passes without your control.

1:03:21🔗 Right. Like my stomach gets huge.

1:03:25🔗 Adam Okay. Listen. Let's go back to the Duke factor here. Are you cramping yourself when you're having an orgasm?

1:03:35🔗 What do you mean, am I cramping myself? Yeah, I cramp myself.

1:03:38🔗 Adam No, no, no. Do you make number two in the bed when you're having an orgasm?

1:03:44🔗 No. It's not like a sexual thing. No.

1:03:48🔗 Adam I thought she said something about orgasm.

1:03:50🔗 Drew She said she loses her bowel and urine during orgasm.

1:03:53🔗 After orgasm. I have an orgasm, then all of a sudden these cramps come, and my stomach gets huge, and I go to the bathroom.

1:04:01🔗 Adam Fine. Understand that's not losing it. That's just having to go to the bathroom. Right.

1:04:06🔗 There's no controlling over it. Like, if I try to keep it in...

1:04:10🔗 Adam Do you make it to the toilet?

1:04:12🔗 Yes.

1:04:13🔗 Adam Okay. Then that would be control. Be control. When you crap on the dog on the way to the bathroom, that meant you've lost control of your bowels.

1:04:24🔗 Okay.

1:04:25🔗 Adam Here's what I'm saying is, I take a good-

1:04:27🔗 Caller My question is about the cramping, not about the crapping.

1:04:30🔗 Adam Okay. All right.

1:04:32🔗 Drew What should you do, Drew?

1:04:35🔗 Caller I've been to several doctors about it.

1:04:36🔗 Drew Right. It could be irritable bowel, it could be some sort of pubococcygeal spasm, it could be some component of dysmenorrhea, some inflammation of the pelvic organs in and around your period. You might try some anti-inflammatories. Do you have irritable bowel, spastic colon?

1:04:53🔗 Caller No.

1:04:54🔗 Drew Okay. It does not.

1:04:55🔗 Caller But I have colitis.

1:04:56🔗 Drew Well, that's spastic bowel probably.

1:04:58🔗 Caller Okay.

1:04:58🔗 Drew Okay. So you may be just stirring up your irritable bowel, and it's not a big deal.

1:05:05🔗 Adam You're shaking your snow globe as it were.

1:05:08🔗 Drew That's right.

1:05:09🔗 Adam She loses total control of her bowels. I think it's so much so that she cramps in the toilet. I know you have a lot of older patients that have that problem.

1:05:19🔗 Drew Yes.

1:05:20🔗 Adam They have no control over their bowel function.

1:05:22🔗 Drew Right.

1:05:23🔗 Adam And they cramp in the toilet every time.

1:05:25🔗 Drew No, not every time. Boy, is a full moon night, is it not?

1:05:30🔗 Adam I'll tell you. I've said it a thousand times. We have the world's dumbest callers.

1:05:34🔗 Drew Well, they're living up to their reputations.

1:05:36🔗 Adam I will pit them against any show, national or local, in this impidity competition.

1:05:40🔗 Drew Speaking of reputation, let's talk to Catherine, who's 15.

1:05:43🔗 Caller Hi, Adam. Yeah, there is something wrong with the callers tonight. I haven't noticed that. They're like, strange. Yeah, I have a, like, reputation, and nobody, like, takes me seriously now that I want a relationship.

1:05:56🔗 Drew Why would it happen?

1:05:57🔗 Caller Oh, gosh, well, I was basically a slut, and, like, I just make out with people I didn't know, and just do out, just, guys would consider me just, like, easy and everything, and-

1:06:12🔗 Drew Why were you doing that?

1:06:14🔗 Caller I don't know. I'd just been, like, introduced to it, and-

1:06:19🔗 Drew What does that mean?

1:06:20🔗 Caller Like, I just found out, like, about guys and everything, and- All right.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Are we having sex with any of them?

1:06:28🔗 Caller No. No. But- I was 13. But, um, I don't know.

1:06:34🔗 Adam That's old for our show. Okay. Listen to me, screwball. All you're doing is making out with all these guys, right?

1:06:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:40🔗 Adam Okay. That's fine. Your reputation is intact.

1:06:42🔗 Drew Yeah. I think people kind of get over-

1:06:44🔗 Adam Especially by today's standards.

1:06:46🔗 Caller Well, no guys will consider me, like, to be someone to have a serious relationship, but they just want to, like, go out with me for one night and make out and that's it.

1:06:55🔗 Adam No. You're just attracted to those guys. That's not- That's what all guys think. That's all the guys you'll have. You understand? Right. If you think about it, you can think of guys who liked you, and who liked you is more than that, but you didn't like them. So that's the question. Why don't you like them?

1:07:14🔗 Caller Well, I'm not sure. I mean, it's just the guys that go out with me are those ones. I'm not sure, like-

1:07:20🔗 Drew Why don't you choose different kinds of guys to go out with?

1:07:23🔗 Caller I've tried. Hang on.

1:07:26🔗 Drew Let's listen to this.

1:07:27🔗 Adam Hey, Drew.

1:07:30🔗 Drew That's that. Well, there you go.

1:07:33🔗 Adam Well, a good five minutes worth of externalizing and now it's time to go to bed.

1:07:37🔗 Caller Oh my God.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Listen, everybody. Whatever it is you're getting is what you're asking for, not what you want necessarily. Lord knows it's not what you want, but it's what you're asking for in your own way.

1:07:51🔗 Caller Right.

1:07:51🔗 Adam And that's a very important concept for everyone to think about. Wherever you're at, whatever you're getting, whatever people are giving you, whatever kind of relationship you're in, you may not be happy with it and you may not enjoy it, but there's some part of you that's bringing it on. And you have to take a look at that. If every guy you're going out with just wants to have a one night stand, what is the constant in that equation? It's you. It's not every guy. It's you. I mean, if you break it down like a math problem, it's you. There'd be you on one side of the chalkboard and then there'd be a hundred other marks on the other side. But you are the one that has the line to every one of those hundred on the other side of the chalkboard.

1:08:36🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:08:37🔗 Adam So figure out what the one on the left side is doing and then you don't have to worry about everything on the right.

1:08:43🔗 Drew Let's talk to Jennifer. She's 25. Jennifer?

1:08:45🔗 Adam Boy, that was solid, Drew.

1:08:46🔗 Drew Very solid. Chalkboard.

1:08:47🔗 Adam That's the kind of stuff that makes me an award-winning talk show host.

1:08:50🔗 Drew Hatch Marks, yeah. Whatever.

1:08:52🔗 Adam Even though I've never actually seen the award.

1:08:53🔗 Drew Jennifer.

1:08:54🔗 Adam Or I think Ann did bring it in once, yeah.

1:08:56🔗 Drew Jennifer.

1:08:56🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:08:58🔗 Guest Well, let's see. Me and my brother had a really complicated childhood. It was pretty screwed up.

1:09:05🔗 Drew Why?

1:09:07🔗 Guest Let's see. I had a stepfather that for any reason whatsoever, he decided he'd like to beat us and what so. My question is, is my brother at one point, I mean, we had sex together.

1:09:23🔗 Drew How old were you?

1:09:24🔗 Guest I can't say he raped me.

1:09:25🔗 Drew How old were you?

1:09:27🔗 Guest How old? I was 12, 11.

1:09:30🔗 Drew Okay.

1:09:32🔗 Guest I can't say he raped me because I didn't say no, because at this point in time of my life, it was one of the things that I thought, that's how I got people to be close to me, like me because of my stepfather.

1:09:46🔗 Adam How old was he? Not your stepfather, your brother at the time that he raped you.

1:09:50🔗 Guest He's four years older than me, so he was-

1:09:53🔗 Drew 15.

1:09:54🔗 Guest 14, 15.

1:09:56🔗 Adam Maybe 16.

1:09:57🔗 Guest 16, yeah.

1:09:58🔗 Adam Okay. How old are you now?

1:10:00🔗 Guest I'm 25.

1:10:01🔗 Adam I see.

1:10:02🔗 Drew You were having sex with other people at that point also?

1:10:05🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:10:06🔗 Drew At the age of 11.

1:10:07🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:10:08🔗 Adam Okay. And then what did you do? Get into heroin at some point?

1:10:11🔗 Guest No.

1:10:12🔗 Adam What did you get into? Booze?

1:10:14🔗 Guest Oh, well, I got into a little bit of everything.

1:10:18🔗 Drew Everything except heroin. We're way off, Adam. Way off.

1:10:21🔗 Guest I didn't get into heroin. I didn't get into, well, I guess heroin.

1:10:27🔗 Adam Okay.

1:10:28🔗 Caller All right.

1:10:29🔗 Adam All right. Well, anyway, Jennifer, you're 25 now.

1:10:34🔗 Guest I forgive my brother. I don't hold no grudges against him. He wasn't right for what he did. I wasn't right for what I did. But my brother-

1:10:45🔗 Adam What did you do? You're 11 or 12 years old. You had a guy who's well into purity coming at you.

1:10:52🔗 Guest He was my brother. I didn't object it. Okay.

1:10:55🔗 Adam Listen, don't blame yourself for not attacking your brother.

1:10:58🔗 Guest Oh, I don't blame myself. I don't blame myself. What I want to do is try to figure out a way to get my brother to forgive himself because he can't. And it's making a major toll on his life. No matter how many times that I tell him that I forgive him, I've gotten over it because I sincerely have, you know? I understand screwed up situations.

1:11:24🔗 Adam Right. All right. Let me. So your brother's...

1:11:26🔗 Drew I actually believe Jennifer may have. Maybe.

1:11:28🔗 Adam Yeah, your brother's like 29, 30 now, something like that.

1:11:31🔗 Drew 29.

1:11:32🔗 Adam OK, listen, here's what you do. You get yourself a sexy little piece of lingerie.

1:11:38🔗 Drew Shut up.

1:11:38🔗 Adam I'm going down a sick road here. Listen, does he have kids?

1:11:42🔗 Drew You want me to put these people on hold or you want to talk to them all night?

1:11:45🔗 Adam I want to know if he has kids, this guy.

1:11:46🔗 Drew Jennifer?

1:11:47🔗 Guest Yes.

1:11:48🔗 Drew Does he have kids?

1:11:50🔗 Adam He has kids?

1:11:50🔗 Guest Yes.

1:11:51🔗 Adam How many?

1:11:53🔗 Guest He has got three.

1:11:54🔗 Adam Oh, boy. It's important that he have more than two. Isn't it, Drew?

1:11:58🔗 Drew Very, very. I wonder if that's why he can't forgive himself. Maybe he's still doing something.

1:12:02🔗 Adam You think he's doing anything to his kids?

1:12:04🔗 Drew Maybe doing something to somebody and that may be why he's feeling so guilty still.

1:12:07🔗 Adam All right. I don't know. This ain't a wrap up one with me. I got a few questions for Jennifer.

1:12:15🔗 Drew All right. Let's go back to her after the breakdown. All right. Welcome back to Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew.

1:13:02🔗 Adam Hey.

1:13:02🔗 Drew That's Adam Carolla.

1:13:04🔗 Adam Hey, Drew.

1:13:05🔗 Drew We got a full moon night going here.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:06🔗 Drew Full flash.

1:13:07🔗 Adam Talk to the next caller. I wanna go watch myself on Conan in the next room.

1:13:10🔗 Drew Oh, you wanna torture yourself?

1:13:12🔗 Adam It was so abominable, I have to do it. If I was good, I wouldn't watch myself, but it was so bad that I have to see what happened.

1:13:19🔗 Drew I'll tell you what, I will save Jennifer till you get back, okay?

1:13:22🔗 Adam All right, just take a call about like an ovarian cyst I'll be back in three minutes.

1:13:27🔗 Drew This is Allison, 19. Allison?

1:13:28🔗 Yeah.

1:13:28🔗 Drew Hey, what's going on?

1:13:29🔗 Not much.

1:13:31🔗 Caller Go right ahead.

1:13:33🔗 Well, let's see, okay. I like think my boobs are too small. I mean, I'm sure this is like a normal thing, but I heard about these pills you can take to like make your breast bigger.

1:13:45🔗 Drew Right, money back guarantee?

1:13:47🔗 No, but-

1:13:48🔗 Drew Where'd you hear about it?

1:13:49🔗 On a radio, like on the radio station and it's called Busting Out. And like I've considered getting like breast surgery, you know, but I don't want them like to look all fake and bubbled out like that.

1:14:02🔗 Drew Look, there really isn't anything that will substantially change your breast size. Although sometimes the birth control pill will, some women.

1:14:08🔗 Caller Well, I was on that and like it just, I didn't like it and it just did weird things to me.

1:14:13🔗 Drew And beyond that, it is the knife.

1:14:17🔗 Caller But isn't there like a kind you can get so they don't-

1:14:21🔗 Drew Yeah, oh, sure.

1:14:22🔗 Caller It's bubbly and like I don't want like Pamela Lee or anything.

1:14:25🔗 Drew No, there's all kinds of things they can do and then some women are very happy with those procedures.

1:14:28🔗 Caller And what about- What size are you actually? I know it sounds stupid but it kind of varies from bra to bra. But it's usually about a 32B.

1:14:38🔗 Drew Well, that's fine.

1:14:40🔗 Caller Yeah, but I'm like, I don't know. It's just, you know, it's kind of like there's reminders of big boobs everywhere, you know? And it's like magazines and I realize they like do a lot of stuff like taping and you know, cause I've done a small tad bit of modeling and stuff but-

1:14:53🔗 Drew Don't you think that's more about a function of how you feel about yourself generally?

1:14:57🔗 Caller Well, I just would like, you know, I'd like to feel comfortable wearing, you know, different things and you know, just I'd like to feel better about myself and I think that it would but it's like all the, you know, people I've seen that have had, you know, breast increase things or it's just they don't look real and you know, I don't want like the natural cleavage looking thing, I just want, you know, big breasts.

1:15:20🔗 Drew Allison, you're going to do what you're going to do, but I suggest you really do some soul searching about what it is you need to feel good about yourself. And I'm not sure that a change in your breast size, which is quite adequate in and of itself, is going to change fundamentally your sense of your own worth. Let's see, this is now, Julie is 26. Julie?

1:15:37🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:15:38🔗 Drew Yeah, what's going on?

1:15:39🔗 Guest Not a whole lot.

1:15:40🔗 Drew All right.

1:15:41🔗 Guest Just hanging out.

1:15:41🔗 Drew All right.

1:15:42🔗 Caller Kind of curious about where the male G-spot is.

1:15:45🔗 Drew Well, you can lurk all you want. It's the penis.

1:15:48🔗 Guest Well, I know that much.

1:15:51🔗 Caller Isn't there one up the anus somewhere though?

1:15:53🔗 Drew No.

1:15:54🔗 Guest Is that just a myth?

1:15:55🔗 Drew It's more just total BS for those goddamn women's magazines to write about.

1:16:01🔗 Guest Oh.

1:16:02🔗 Drew Some men, some men, and I would dare say a few, like they're prostate stimulated, but it has nothing to do with the G-spot. It's just something that enhances their orgasmic sort of intensity.

1:16:13🔗 Guest Well, he'll be happy to know that.

1:16:14🔗 Drew Most men are not into that.

1:16:17🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:16:17🔗 Drew He was a little reluctant. Men are very, there's no mystery. Okay. It's there. You take care of it. That's it.

1:16:25🔗 Guest Well, I was fine with that. I just figured he spent so much time looking for mine, I'd return the favor.

1:16:29🔗 Drew Did he find yours?

1:16:30🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:16:31🔗 Drew Where was it?

1:16:32🔗 Guest It was just up and inside, up.

1:16:37🔗 Drew How does he stimulate that?

1:16:39🔗 Guest With his finger.

1:16:40🔗 Drew Did that make a big difference?

1:16:43🔗 Guest I wouldn't say that it's any different than having sex, but it felt good.

1:16:49🔗 Drew Do you orgasm during sex normally?

1:16:50🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:16:51🔗 Drew Okay. Why are people so intent on mastering the intricacies of anatomy when it does make a damn bit of difference?

1:17:01🔗 Guest Well, I mean, I wasn't too worried about it. I just figured he spent a lot of time trying to please me, and he does.

1:17:08🔗 Drew I'm glad he did that. That's fine.

1:17:09🔗 Guest I'd help him out.

1:17:10🔗 Drew That's nice that you're thinking about him, but really, the relationship is good?

1:17:14🔗 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:17:15🔗 Drew We've been together.

1:17:16🔗 Guest Well, I've known him for 11 years, but we've been sexually involved before. Wow.

1:17:20🔗 Drew Isn't that much more important than anything else?

1:17:22🔗 Guest Yeah, not really.

1:17:23🔗 Drew No?

1:17:24🔗 Guest What did you say?

1:17:25🔗 Drew Isn't the relationship more important than anything else? Oh, yeah.

1:17:27🔗 Guest I thought you said something different. Definitely. I mean, I always joke about him. He was paralyzed from the neck down. I'd still stay with him.

1:17:34🔗 Drew Stop reading all those women's magazines, will you, please?

1:17:37🔗 Caller I don't read many women's magazines.

1:17:39🔗 Drew Well, they're polluting your brain.

1:17:41🔗 Guest Yeah, and that poor girl that just called, polluting hers, too.

1:17:44🔗 Drew Which one was that?

1:17:45🔗 Guest Goodness, I have bee cups and I'm fine with those.

1:17:47🔗 Drew Yeah, I know. It's sad. She clearly doesn't feel good about herself and is searching for solutions, but this ain't the one. Brian is 16. Brian?

1:17:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:56🔗 Drew Hey, what's going on?

1:17:57🔗 Caller Um, not much. All right.

1:18:00🔗 Drew Would you like to ask a question?

1:18:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:03🔗 Drew Daniel, everybody, I swear to God, do you first ask, have you had a quailoo tonight? Yes. Okay, good. You'll be right for the call. All right. We'll be right with you. What's going on, Brian?

1:18:12🔗 Caller Um, lately, like, when I've been having sexual intercourse, I haven't been getting any orgasm.

1:18:19🔗 Drew Same partner?

1:18:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:21🔗 Drew And what's going on in that relationship?

1:18:22🔗 Caller Huh? What's going on?

1:18:25🔗 Drew Could it be? Is it perhaps the connection tonight? Every single caller cannot hear what we're saying. Is this anything going on with the relationship with this woman? Is it nothing?

1:18:33🔗 Caller Everything's fine.

1:18:35🔗 Drew You're still attracted to her?

1:18:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:37🔗 Drew And how long have you been having trouble with this?

1:18:39🔗 Caller Well, it was like last week.

1:18:42🔗 Drew One time?

1:18:43🔗 Caller About two times.

1:18:44🔗 Drew Two times. You got any medication?

1:18:46🔗 Caller No.

1:18:46🔗 Drew And nothing going on in your life where you're stressed or changing your eating, your activity levels, anything like that? And maybe you're maybe you've been too active with her.

1:18:55🔗 Caller Too active? Yeah. We've only done it like three times.

1:19:00🔗 Drew And two of those times you couldn't have an orgasm?

1:19:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:02🔗 Drew How long did you try for?

1:19:04🔗 Caller Well, we've been trying for like 15 minutes.

1:19:08🔗 Drew And then gave up?

1:19:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:10🔗 Drew Maybe it just takes longer than that for you. Brian? Brian?

1:19:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:19:16🔗 Drew Maybe it just takes longer than that for you.

1:19:17🔗 Caller Longer? Oh. All right.

1:19:20🔗 Drew Brian, go back to bed.

1:19:21🔗 Caller Hey, Drew, can I suggest we do the Drew Boogie or something, just to kind of break out of this funk?

1:19:25🔗 Drew All right. Go ahead. Good. Do it. The anal sect makes me sick. This guy's penis makes me sick. I've had anal sect, but it felt no effect. I've got these lesions. Gee, it hurts. Still a virgin. Makes me sick. It's called intimacy. Can I say that? You're fat. You're gay. Confused. You're sick. You're overweight. You're still a virgin. You're dysfunctional. Not acceptable. All right. I feel much better. Let's keep going. This now is a... Good, brother. Hey, what's going on?

1:20:28🔗 Adam I'm back.

1:20:29🔗 Drew Hey, good. How was it?

1:20:31🔗 Adam Hey, good times. It wasn't that bad.

1:20:33🔗 Drew Really?

1:20:33🔗 Adam It's a bad audience.

1:20:35🔗 Caller Sure.

1:20:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:36🔗 Caller All right.

1:20:36🔗 Drew Keep going, shall we?

1:20:38🔗 Adam All right.

1:20:38🔗 Drew We're trying to recover from bad callers here. Joe, 22. You're sicking me.

1:20:42🔗 Caller Joe. I'm sorry. I was recovering from my. So my question was for mainly for Adam. You've had anal sex before, haven't you?

1:20:58🔗 Adam Well, I've been on the receiving end of it. I don't know if I've given anybody anal sex.

1:21:04🔗 Drew I've had anal sex.

1:21:06🔗 Adam Yeah. What are you saying there, Joey? Well. Sure, I've been corn holed like the best of them, but I've never given it to anybody. I mean, right, buddy?

1:21:21🔗 Caller What is the proper technique for anal sex? My girlfriend.

1:21:29🔗 Adam Well, for me, it's just pretty much just biting down real hard on a rolled up bar rag. Just sort of hanging on, you know?

1:21:39🔗 Caller No, I mean, I've watched enough porno movies, I know.

1:21:42🔗 Adam All right, all right.

1:21:43🔗 Caller You don't just shove it in there.

1:21:45🔗 Adam No, no.

1:21:46🔗 Caller You don't do it like that.

1:21:47🔗 Adam I mean, you got to take your time, right? Right, yes. So listen, who's answering this question? Me or you? First off, I can tell you through experience that the running start technique is not the way to go. That really offends the ladies and the lads.

1:22:04🔗 Drew The only thing worse is the adrenal rib.

1:22:06🔗 Adam Yes, dare. That's right. You need to use a certain amount of a lubricant would be nice. You should always put a condom on. And now, Drew, I don't know about, I don't think that area of the body can really be stimulated like the vagina to accept the penis. Do you know what I'm saying, Drew?

1:22:26🔗 Drew It doesn't sort of dilate and there's no lubrication.

1:22:29🔗 Adam On the other hand, one could get a finger up there and kind of probe around a little just so that the penis wasn't such a shock. You know what I'm saying?

1:22:40🔗 Drew I guess I do.

1:22:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:22:41🔗 Drew More information than I needed, frankly. But, okay.

1:22:43🔗 Adam All right. Well, lots of lubricant. Put a condom on. And, and, and, you know, do what I do, which is I'll, I'll bend down and kiss my St. Christopher medal that's hanging around my neck for just an extra added bit of luck.

1:22:59🔗 Drew That's good. Now you want to get back to Jennifer about her brother? Unacceptable. We've got lots of questions for her and her molesting brother.

1:23:04🔗 Adam That's right. So when Jennifer was 11, she, or 12, she had sex with her brother who was 14 or 15 at the time. And she forgives him. They came from a very screwed up family. Stepfather did a lot of damage to them. Right. Did I not say stepfather?

1:23:24🔗 Guest Stepfather.

1:23:26🔗 Drew Jennifer, want to repeat that again?

1:23:28🔗 Guest Stepfather.

1:23:28🔗 Drew Okay. Got that Adam?

1:23:31🔗 Adam Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. I said stepfather. I was mistaken.

1:23:33🔗 Drew Okay.

1:23:34🔗 Adam And now he has three children of his own. And he's still blaming himself. Is he married, Jennifer?

1:23:43🔗 Guest No.

1:23:44🔗 Drew He's divorced?

1:23:46🔗 Guest No.

1:23:46🔗 Drew He never got married?

1:23:47🔗 Guest No.

1:23:49🔗 Adam Okay.

1:23:50🔗 Drew Three kids with the same woman?

1:23:52🔗 Adam No. Stepfather. Stepfather, no.

1:23:57🔗 Drew Three kids with the same woman?

1:23:59🔗 Guest Excuse me?

1:24:00🔗 Drew Three kids with the same woman?

1:24:01🔗 Guest No.

1:24:02🔗 Adam Put her back on hold, please.

1:24:04🔗 Drew You had a million questions for her, though.

1:24:05🔗 Adam I know, but I can't.

1:24:08🔗 Drew It's one of those nights. It's a weird night.

1:24:10🔗 Adam I can't do it anymore. I mean, do you understand? It's like, so what about your brother's wife? No, he's not.

1:24:18🔗 Drew Stepfather.

1:24:19🔗 Adam Stepfather. He has three children? Yes. He is three from three different wives? No.

1:24:25🔗 Guest Stepfather.

1:24:26🔗 Caller No.

1:24:29🔗 Adam Get her back. I'm going to try one last time.

1:24:31🔗 Drew All right.

1:24:33🔗 Guest Stepfather. Are you asking me about my brother or the stepfather who did this to me?

1:24:39🔗 Adam I'm asking you about your brother.

1:24:41🔗 Drew You said your brother molested you, right?

1:24:43🔗 Adam Your brother has three children.

1:24:45🔗 Guest Yes.

1:24:46🔗 Adam Is he still married?

1:24:48🔗 Guest He has never been married.

1:24:50🔗 Adam Okay. So we're still on him. Are the three children from one woman?

1:24:54🔗 Guest No.

1:24:55🔗 Adam Oh, sorry.

1:24:57🔗 Drew Adam, it's a marriage. Have you suggested something like that?

1:24:59🔗 Adam I'm sorry. And how many? Four women or three women?

1:25:04🔗 Guest Three children, four women. Yeah, that makes sense.

1:25:07🔗 Adam Oh, sorry.

1:25:08🔗 Guest Three different women.

1:25:09🔗 Adam Three different women. And is he in contact with the children or are they raising them?

1:25:15🔗 Guest He's in contact with them. He has full visitation.

1:25:18🔗 Drew Do you have some concerns about him and those children?

1:25:20🔗 Guest No.

1:25:21🔗 Drew Okay.

1:25:22🔗 Adam Why not?

1:25:23🔗 Drew Because we do.

1:25:25🔗 Guest Well, I'm sorry that you do, but I know my brother more.

1:25:28🔗 Drew You know, he's a good man. You know him. He abused you when you were 11. People that abuse like that tend to have about over a 50 percent probability of doing that to their own kids.

1:25:39🔗 Guest Well, I can't believe that because of the way that he hates himself and kicks himself and.

1:25:46🔗 Drew But don't you think if you weren't continuing to behave in that way, it'd be easier for him to forgive himself? It was something he did one time and that was it. But perhaps if he's still continuing, that he feels guilty.

1:25:56🔗 Guest He has two sons. He has one daughter.

1:26:03🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on. Let me write that down.

1:26:05🔗 Guest I just can't believe that he would be like that. I know I'm right.

1:26:08🔗 Adam Well, hold on. Jennifer, if he's got two sons and one daughter, that's different. I didn't know that. I thought he had one of each. So, Jennifer, what can we do? I mean, he's still beating himself up. He had this horrible stepdad. Can he get some therapy? Why don't you ask him to get a little therapy, a little counseling?

1:26:26🔗 Drew You can't make him forgive himself. And my concern is the reason perhaps he can't forgive himself is that perhaps this is more extensive than you know.

1:26:34🔗 Guest You think he can't forgive himself because maybe he's doing it now?

1:26:37🔗 Drew Or that he has done it more than you know?

1:26:41🔗 Guest Seriously?

1:26:43🔗 Adam No, Drew's bluffing as he often does on the show. You know, he likes to screw around, especially with incest cases.

1:26:49🔗 Drew I'm just...

1:26:50🔗 Adam Okay.

1:26:50🔗 Drew The point is he needs to get some help.

1:26:53🔗 Adam All right, listen, he needs to get some help, and we need to call in an air strike. Did you get her coordinates locked down?

1:26:58🔗 Drew There are people that get those coordinates.

1:27:00🔗 Adam They're not working on the New York time.

1:27:02🔗 Drew Oh, my God. They're having trouble.

1:27:03🔗 Adam The satellite is down. We can't lock it in. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what we'll do here. We'll do what we call carpet bombing in this case. We have not locked in her actual coordinates, and we usually nail it down to, let's say, a block. We have it nailed down to a five-mile-square radius area. We're just gonna carpet bomb this time. We're gonna have to take out the entire neighborhood.

1:27:27🔗 Drew Okay.

1:27:28🔗 Adam That's all right. We'll get a few bad ones. All right, Drew. Well.

1:27:32🔗 Drew We're taking a break.

1:27:33🔗 Adam As long as Jennifer's over it, so am I.

1:27:35🔗 Drew Okay. We'll grab her.

1:27:36🔗 Adam We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

1:27:38🔗 Guest Stop, Father.

1:27:42🔗 Drew With Adam Crowell and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it. Hey Adam, can we find some way to recoup our dignity here?

1:28:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:21🔗 Drew This has got to be one of the worst shows in the last three years, right here tonight. Here it is. Seriously, come on.

1:28:26🔗 Adam Again, I blame the audience.

1:28:27🔗 Drew Yes, I know. I know you wouldn't accept responsibility for much of anything, but let's get together here. Kelsey is 15.

1:28:33🔗 Adam Kelsey, what's going on? You're on Loveline, brother. What's your problem?

1:28:37🔗 Caller Well, I have a friend.

1:28:38🔗 Drew Brother? I'm sorry.

1:28:39🔗 Caller Go ahead.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Kelsey is usually a guy's name.

1:28:42🔗 Caller No, I'm a girl. But I have a friend, and I think that she might be lesbian, and it seems like she's been coming on to me lately.

1:28:49🔗 Caller What does she do?

1:28:50🔗 Caller Well, she just makes little comments and jokes, and she only makes them around me and not anyone else. I'm totally not interested, and I want to know what I can do to get her away.

1:29:02🔗 Drew Just hold your boundaries.

1:29:03🔗 Adam Yeah, just keep ignoring her. She'll go away.

1:29:06🔗 Caller Okay.

1:29:07🔗 Adam She'll get the hint that you're not interested and she'll move on.

1:29:09🔗 Drew Andy, 18. Andy? Hi.

1:29:11🔗 Caller Hey. I have a question. I'm gay and I was hooking up with this guy Saturday night at a club and we were kissing, hooking up pretty heavy. And when I got home later that night, I noticed that my lip was bleeding a little bit on the inside. I was wondering if I should be worrying about any kind of STDs or anything.

1:29:31🔗 Drew Did he bite you?

1:29:33🔗 Caller I don't know. It's kind of like-

1:29:36🔗 Drew That's the way STDs might be spread.

1:29:39🔗 Caller Yeah. But we would just- I don't-

1:29:41🔗 Drew Blood born?

1:29:42🔗 Adam Well, he's gay. What could he have?

1:29:45🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:29:46🔗 Caller We were just like-

1:29:47🔗 Caller he was like biting my lip and stuff. So I got-

1:29:49🔗 Drew Do you have anything to give him?

1:29:51🔗 Caller No.

1:29:51🔗 Drew You sure?

1:29:53🔗 Caller Not totally, but- Well? I give blood regularly, so I'm sure they would tell me if I had anything.

1:30:01🔗 Adam Andy, are you sure you're gay? You don't sound gay.

1:30:04🔗 Caller I don't sound gay?

1:30:05🔗 Caller No.

1:30:07🔗 Caller Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah.

1:30:09🔗 Adam No, I picture him wearing an ascot with his pajamas.

1:30:14🔗 Caller All right.

1:30:15🔗 Adam Andy, so what should he do, Drew? Keep giving that blood?

1:30:19🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, I think the blood-borne STDs is the one he needs to worry about. It's not so much that he's going to-

1:30:25🔗 Adam Well, should he get a hepatitis screening?

1:30:27🔗 Drew He's getting all that. He's had all that. There's no evidence of anything like that. I don't think-

1:30:31🔗 Adam All right. Well, just keep giving the blood and they'll notify you, right?

1:30:34🔗 Drew That's a risky position to take because now you're telling people at risk to go ahead and keep giving to the blood pool when they might be donating during a time which they have sort of undetectable levels of anabiotics to these various things.

1:30:45🔗 Adam They take gay blood, huh?

1:30:47🔗 Drew If he's concerned, yeah. He should go ahead and get checked out. Johnny 23.

1:30:49🔗 Adam Now, aren't they scared that the people get the transfusion are going to turn gay from the gay blood?

1:30:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:56🔗 Adam No?

1:30:57🔗 Drew Johnny 23. Maybe that's the problem, Adam.

1:31:00🔗 Caller Hey, guys. Tonight's a biggity at night on K-Rock, so I'm going to make it short and sweet. I got these prior to me having sex or whatever. I have these transparent bursts in my sperm, and it's like little bubbles. You know what I mean?

1:31:18🔗 Drew Like interruptions of the stream as it comes out?

1:31:21🔗 Caller Yeah. It's like it's with the full deal, but I can push it out in chunks.

1:31:28🔗 Adam Yeah. You have the chunky sperm.

1:31:30🔗 Drew You chunk yourself. That can be normal. Brian's 20. Brian?

1:31:35🔗 Adam It's very normal. Don't worry about it.

1:31:37🔗 Caller All right. Go ahead, Brian. I just want to know why can I only have orgasm when the girls ride at me?

1:31:49🔗 Drew That's just what you like.

1:31:51🔗 Adam What position?

1:31:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:54🔗 Adam We have a good feeling about it. What position are you in when you masturbate?

1:31:58🔗 Caller I guess I'm laying on my back.

1:32:00🔗 Drew Well, there you go. Are you fantasizing about a woman on top at that point?

1:32:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:07🔗 Adam There you go. You got to move your position around when you masturbate.

1:32:11🔗 Caller So like when I want to do like 69, so I should masturbate in the 69.

1:32:16🔗 Drew Do you have any other fetishes or anything?

1:32:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Masturbate in the 69 position. Go right ahead. And by the way, you have to choose 6 or 9 when you masturbate in the 69 position. You can't do them both. Drew, hang up on him, please. I want to say something though to all the young kids out there when it comes to this kind of stuff. If in you're in the same position on your back masturbating, and you're doing that 400 times for every one time you have sex, when you then have sex and you're in a doggy position or you're on top or whatever other position you're in, other than being on your back, it's going to be a little bit confusing. You may have difficulty with the orgasm.

1:32:55🔗 Drew But I think this female dominant things does have some psychological implications. Some guys are really into that. They want to be intruded.

1:33:03🔗 Adam You mean them being on top?

1:33:05🔗 Drew No, the women on top. Some guys hate that. They words them out, they can't stand it when a girl's on top.

1:33:09🔗 Adam But basically, I bet you the day this guy can masturbate when he's down on his knees, is the day he can have an orgasm in the doggy position. And that's one day when we all unite and we all hold hands and form a giant circle around the globe. Do you understand?

1:33:27🔗 Drew It's in Kumbaya.

1:33:28🔗 Adam And we end hunger and famine and strife.

1:33:31🔗 Drew All right.

1:33:32🔗 Adam Okay.

1:33:32🔗 Drew Jason, 26. Jason.

1:33:34🔗 Caller Yeah, this is for Adam.

1:33:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:33:38🔗 I just wanted to tell him I saw the show on Conan.

1:33:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:33:42🔗 And I thought it was great. I thought he can just, you know, tell all the feminazis in the audience to screw themselves.

1:33:49🔗 Drew Fair enough.

1:33:50🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:33:50🔗 Drew Darryl, 23.

1:33:51🔗 Adam And by the way, I like a guy who pronounces it Conan.

1:33:54🔗 Drew Conan. I thought you had Conan last night. Darryl, 23.

1:33:57🔗 Adam He was funny.

1:33:59🔗 Drew What's up, Darryl?

1:34:02🔗 Caller A couple of weeks ago, I got in a pretty serious incident.

1:34:06🔗 Caller And somewhere along the way, the doctors kind of screwed up.

1:34:11🔗 Caller And right now, I'm going through withdrawals from codeine and morphine.

1:34:20🔗 Caller And I'm trying to figure out some easier way to go through these withdrawals.

1:34:26🔗 Drew There is no easy way, but this isn't the first time you've been on opiates, is it?

1:34:29🔗 Caller Yes, it is.

1:34:30🔗 Drew First time?

1:34:31🔗 Caller First time.

1:34:31🔗 Drew Two weeks ago.

1:34:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:33🔗 Drew You're an alcoholic?

1:34:35🔗 Caller No.

1:34:36🔗 Drew This isn't fitting for me. You smoke marijuana every day?

1:34:39🔗 Caller No. I got shot, so...

1:34:43🔗 Drew How long ago?

1:34:44🔗 Caller Two weeks ago.

1:34:46🔗 Drew You've been on morphine and codeine since then, and you're having withdrawal after just two weeks?

1:34:50🔗 Caller Well, I stopped.

1:34:52🔗 Caller I mean, it was only pretty much just a...

1:34:56🔗 Caller Not really a serious injury.

1:34:58🔗 Caller It didn't go all the way through. It just went through the vest.

1:35:01🔗 Drew Darrell, you've been on codeine and morphine for only two weeks, and you're having withdrawal already?

1:35:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:35:05🔗 Drew That doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense.

1:35:10🔗 Caller All right.

1:35:10🔗 Adam Well, then what should he do? Let's just say it's true.

1:35:14🔗 Drew He needs to be tapered off slowly, then, because if he's not an addict, he should taper off relatively slowly, and he should be no problem. But if he's been on for several months and he's an addict, it will be very uncomfortable.

1:35:23🔗 Adam All right, Drew, close up shop for me, brother. I got to get up in three hours. Would you love her?

1:35:28🔗 Drew All right. Oh, honey, we'll see you tomorrow, okay?

1:35:30🔗 Adam God bless. I'll be in in person tomorrow. I'm taking a sleeping pill right now.

1:35:34🔗 Drew Oh, beautiful. We'll be back in just a minute.

1:35:41🔗 Caller All right. All right.

1:36:13🔗 Drew Well, yes, indeed. Tonight was the crowning achievement of the years of work and Loveline dynasty here. The show indeed we'll be proud of for years to come. I'm delighted to have been a part of it, and indeed my partner came through as he always does. Oh, for crying out loud. Well, good. Another show in the can. Tomorrow night, we're having Rosebud, who was a pimp, and he's got some, listen to his answers tomorrow night. You guys poke out a little bit and see what you think about a guy that was in that business and the kind of upbringing he had, what led him to make the choices he made and how he feels about women and why he conducted himself the way he did. I think his answers say more than any of our commentary could possibly say, so take a listen tomorrow night. There's also a webcast with him on it at drdrew.com. That's up in the drdrew.com show segment, and you can see him there, preview him, and get a chance to talk to him tomorrow night here on Loveline. Until that time, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

1:37:09🔗 Adam Sure, I've been cornholed like the best of them, but I've never given it to anybody. Well now.

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