3:13🔗AdamMatt showed me where the bathroom was and got me a cup of horrible coffee.
3:16🔗DrewOh, he must be doing radio. How do you like the new Westwood One Studios?
3:20🔗AdamI'll tell you, I see where all the money is going from the ones in Southern California. It's all going to the East Coast branch. All right, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Well, Drew, I'm over here in fabulous New York and I'm drunk, I got to be honest with you.
4:00🔗DrewYou're there with that derelict Adam, excuse me, with Daniel. He's a dangerous guy.
4:06🔗AdamHere's what we did tonight. We went out with Daniel and Jimmy and a writer from the New York Post for sort of man's night out. We went to Peter Luger's in Brooklyn for world famous steakhouse, and had a ton of beers, ton of Bloody Marys, and a ton of steak. Then we went to a place called McSorley's, where they give you, like, you order one beer and they give you ten, and then it was off to Scores for a little strip club action, and then I got dragged out of my dream into my nightmare, which is Loveline. So here I am. I'm tired, I'm drunk, I'm surly, let's start the goddamn show. Thank you.
4:58🔗AdamLet me tell you something man, I mean we don't talk all that much, maybe it's the traveling that's doing it to me, but I really love you man. You know that, right?
6:38🔗AdamAll right, listen, I'm loaded and I know this kid's lying. Yeah. Queefs don't smell because it's the air you put in.
6:44🔗DrewThat's right. It's a piston effect. You're pushing air in and it kind of sloshes around and pops out and that's it. It doesn't go anywhere. All right. Right. Now that I'm in charge here, man, we're going to... Are you cool, man?
7:47🔗GuestAnd I was wondering what kind of effect that would have on her. Like-
7:51🔗DrewWell, multiple abortions are in fact associated with fertility problems, but she's getting there. And it's not so much that issue as sort of the idea that she's using this as birth control, and not making more appropriate, taking more appropriate measures to get birth control. And the fact that this takes a toll on people emotionally, too. It really does.
8:13🔗AdamYeah, but what if you're so effed up- What if you're effed up enough to get it three times in the first place?
8:28🔗AdamIf you're effed up enough to get pregnant three times and get three abortions before the age of 21, you know, aren't you sort of scarred emotionally anyway?
8:38🔗DrewIt means something. It means something. Even you and your dog are stupid. Recognize that it means something.
9:11🔗AdamDrew, how dare you? I'm talking. They, she gets her ticket punch, and then the fourth one's free.
9:16🔗DrewOkay, she's working up to that. But go with her and see if you can get her to, somebody from this organization, to sit down with her and do some counseling with her. It's going to take more than you.
9:52🔗CallerHey, I have a question. Yeah. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now. And I had a freeway with her and her best friend, like, like, you know, in every man's dream, like two weeks ago. And then, like, at the beginning of this week, like, like before I started, like Sunday or Monday, I started, I was having sex with her. And it took me a long time to have an orgasm. But when I did, when I ejaculated, my semen seemed to be a dark yellow. And it seemed to have some kind of burning sensation with it.
10:26🔗DrewHow did you see it even? How did you, how did you see it?
10:29🔗CallerWell, it was just, you know, one of those things on the face thing.
10:38🔗AdamOn the face. Listen, I couldn't have gotten any of my semen on any woman's face at 17 if I hid under her bed with a bucket of my semen and waited for her to fall asleep. I still couldn't have gotten any on her face. Threesome, semen on the face. Listen, brother, you're going nowhere but down from here. I guarantee it. Enjoy it. Now, what went on with this threesome?
11:05🔗CallerOh, well, I don't know. Just a lot of oral sex and stuff. But it was great. But I just want to know if it was an STD. Because afterwards, after having an orgasm, I have to go to the bathroom really bad. When I do it, my urine is also dark yellow with a burning sensation.
11:21🔗DrewWell, just the burning is the colors of these things that aren't the big issue. The fact that you have burning with urination is a sign into itself. And usually, yellow or brown in the semen is actually blood. So it serves you right. No. Keith, why don't get this checked out? It could be an STD. You didn't have intercourse with a friend though?
12:00🔗AdamNo? But I mean, all right, fine. But I would have gladly made a deal with the devil. But threesomes, you know, semen in the face, oral sex threesomes, intercourse threesomes. Would you hang up on Keith, by the way, Drew? I'm talking here.
12:15🔗DrewYeah, of course. And I think that's why we're hearing about all these sort of extraordinary sexual activities that girls are getting into by the time they get to college, because there's nothing left. Right?
12:26🔗AdamYeah. I mean, listen, you got to keep moving. I mean, listen, if you don't, you should just kill yourself in any facet of life. I mean, why is this different than any other aspect of life? You know what I'm saying, Drew?
13:19🔗CallerI've been a heroin addict for like four years now. Yeah. For the past like two of those years, I haven't had a period at all.
13:28🔗DrewVery common. The heroin changes the dopamine levels in the brain. It suppresses the output from the pituitary gland and commonly will suppress menstrual cycling.
13:38🔗CallerOkay. Does that mean that I could be sterile?
13:45🔗DrewYeah. In every case I've ever seen, the cycling gets restored when people get back into recovery. Sometimes you need a little help. The more serious issue is that this phenomenon is often associated with low estrogen levels that may put you at risk for osteoporosis, softening of the bones. So you do need to see a doctor about this. Also, are you underweight?
14:08🔗CallerWell, I'm like five feet tall and I weigh like 100 pounds.
14:12🔗DrewYeah, is that oftentimes in my experience with people that lose their periods for long periods of time is the combo of heroin and being underweight.
14:27🔗AdamOh, that's rough. Yeah, that's like being Japanese and not knowing karate. Yeah, that's tough.
14:34🔗DrewAll right, Linda. So are you interested in getting treatment for your potential?
14:38🔗CallerYeah, I've been on methadone for a year now.
14:41🔗DrewOkay. Well, that doesn't help as you're finding out. Certainly, it reduces some of those awful behaviors that heroin gets you into. But ultimately, that's got to go too, right? All right.
14:59🔗DrewThey don't do it as often, but they all chip around on heroin. Methadone, I know methadone is creating that- Because that's just the way-
15:05🔗AdamIsn't methadone alone bad enough, though?
15:08🔗DrewIt is, but it doesn't give those extra kicks that the heroin addicts really are looking for. And so they're sort of not in discomfort as often, but they're still looking to relieve some unpleasantness every so often.
15:21🔗AdamWhat would methadone do for me if I took some?
15:24🔗DrewPut you to sleep. For a while, yeah. Right now, you're probably in a coma. Oh, good.
15:36🔗DrewI want to say, can we do this show from now, where I sit in one room and you sit in the other? This is nice.
15:40🔗AdamThat'd be great. Well, maybe we'll just hang a sheet up between us when I'm there in LA.
15:44🔗DrewEver the hell I want. I could play solitaire and you wouldn't even know it. Well, on the other hand, if I so much as twiddle my thumbs in front of you, you can't tolerate it.
15:56🔗DrewI dare. Linda, listen, this is serious stuff, right? Yeah. It's time to get some treatment. Methadone, I know it's tremendously popular right now. There's a resurgence of interest in what's called risk reduction or harm avoidance measures. But I have grave concerns about those. Linda, you're a young person. Let's get some real treatment going here. Okay?
18:28🔗GuestWell, they were talking about putting me on an IUD.
18:33🔗DrewWell, that will make you bleed heavily, too. That's not going to restore anything. Part of the reason that people sometimes get in the situation after children is the hormone levels aren't cycling quite normally and the levels are down, and taking oftentimes the triphasic pill will restore your sex drive, okay? And then, you know, talking to your doctor about whether or not you have a depression or some situational issues that are coming to impact on your comfort, your mood, that might also be affecting your sex drive. Jennifer is 24.
18:58🔗AdamDrew, how many of those conversations, hold on, do you get into with your patients?
19:09🔗AdamWere they saying to you, like, I'm not menstruating and my sex drive is down and my husband, he's only interested in the third input and...
19:20🔗DrewYou know what's interesting is that women are much more sort of matter of fact and comfortable with this stuff than men. For men, it's a little bit of a, ew, I can't talk about that. Women, they get down to business. This is sort of a matter of fact.
20:12🔗CallerOkay, I'll try to ask now. My question is, I am...
20:14🔗AdamHey, Jennifer, this may just be the booze talking, but I don't like you already.
20:19🔗CallerNo, I'm a good person. Okay, my question is, I take lithium and depakote, and I want to use ecstasy, and I'm wondering, is that going to interact any differently than if I weren't taking the medication?
20:31🔗DrewIt's going to destabilize your mood disturbance. It's a very bad idea in terms of being a bipolar patient and taking a drug like that. Very bad idea.
20:40🔗CallerIs it going to... I mean, eventually, it'll just go back to normal, though, right? I mean, it's not like that's going to...
20:44🔗DrewNot necessarily, especially at your age, there are... Now, I'm going to extrapolate some data here. There's evidence that if you induce manias at a critical age, oftentimes, that's somewhere between 16 and 25, actually, probably 18 and 24, you can precipitate severe manias that might not have otherwise occurred in your lifetime.
21:31🔗DrewShe may have been healthy before she poured the LSD.
21:33🔗AdamBefore the LSD. Yes. You're already on drugs. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't f around with more drugs. When you get off the lithium in the depakote, then you can see it. But then call us and we'll talk to you about doing other drugs.
21:50🔗DrewShe's already injured herself. This is insanity.
21:52🔗AdamWell, I'm saying, you know, once she gets off it, if she gets off it, then do it.
21:57🔗AdamListen, here's my drug policy. People that are on drugs, pharmaceuticals, cannot do other drugs and really stupid people shouldn't do drugs because that then makes you a retard.
22:11🔗DrewYou know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying.
22:13🔗AdamI don't mind a healthy mind with some drugs.
22:15🔗DrewI finally, finally, There's nothing wrong with that. Don't care.
22:18🔗DrewI find like you, Adam, I finally don't care. Everybody has overwhelmed me with this. It's like they're going to do it. They're hell bent on it. Enjoy. Just keep paying attention and watch what happens. It's sad. Vic 28. Yeah. Vic. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
22:41🔗My wife just called me tonight. My ex-wife actually were divorced, and she said that, well, it's been an ongoing thing, but she has cervical cancer, and she said it's something that I have, a virus that has caused this.
23:51🔗DrewThis is awesome. I love this. All right, Adam, just hang on there one second. We'll get back to Adam and his stupor and his strippers, and we'll get back to Vic and his wife and her cervical cancer after this.
24:02🔗AdamBoy, am I drunk. Yeah, it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I'm in New York, where it's very, very late. I think there's like a seven hour time difference here, Drew.
25:00🔗DrewI know you will, man, I know what happened.
25:02🔗AdamYeah, but listen, why bother flying first class if you're not going to drink that booze? And oh, Drew, you would have loved me. I was in fine form. I was having a couple Bloody Marys waiting to take off and there was a representative from American Airlines who wanted to know if I had any ideas of how they could improve the first class experience. It was beautiful. Yeah, at about 400 points for her to go over. After about 20 minutes, she had an ass full of me and was like, yeah, okay, all right.
25:42🔗DrewI'm sure, I know what you opened with. Okay, so if you want to offer three entrees, make sure there's enough for all the people in the first class, right?
25:53🔗AdamListen, that was my opener. And okay, here's the deal. I know I'm not supposed to be talking about flying first class and driving around in limousines. Well, let's face it, that is my life. I'm a millionaire, everyone. Literally, a millionaire, and that is my life. All right, Thurston. I know. I wouldn't fly myself first class. I would never spend the money. But when Comedy Central flies you out to New York to do some press junket, they fly you first class. Business will fly you first class.
26:25🔗AdamYeah, it was fun. So but here's what happens, kiddies. The price between first class and coach to New York is the difference is probably $2,200. I mean, you fly to New York round trip, what, $400? And it's three grand if you fly first class. And then when they get to you with the entrees, if you're sitting in the back of first class, they go, salmon or brisket? And you go, give me the salmon. They go, I'm going to check on that, but I think we're out. And I go, hey, for $2,400, go get some goddamn salmon. And then everyone looks at me like I'm a prick. But you know what I'm saying?
27:03🔗AdamFor that kind of money. There we go. For the salmon. Let's go on. That's what I told her.
27:07🔗DrewBut I know you started pounding early this morning, so you blaming it on the New York Times people or the New York Magazine people is absurd.
27:24🔗AdamI was sober. Yeah, well, an hour, hour 15. And then we went out again and then the party started.
27:29🔗DrewBy the way, you're supposed to be an example for behavior. How do I know? I really am not convinced you're not an alcoholic. Well, ladies and gentlemen, listen.
27:41🔗AdamWell, it's going. Don't worry. But here's the difference between me and you punks who call the show. I can afford Betty Ford. You know what I'm saying? I'll get myself some first class treatment.
28:08🔗DrewAnd even though you haven't seen the warts often, such as is the case with Adam Corolla, you can still transmit them to somebody else. You're helpless tonight, Adam.
28:17🔗AdamListen, hey, Drew, you bring that blacklight in and the vinegar.
28:21🔗AdamWe'll see who has warts. Bring it in. Bring it in and bring that 100 bucks because I'm going to enjoy taking that from you when we find my penis is wart free.
28:31🔗DrewSo, Vic, do you have warts? Have you seen warts on yourself?
28:41🔗Well, she had been prior to the marriage. Neither of us during the marriage were.
28:46🔗DrewYeah. Well, she could have had this. Either of you could have had this for a long, long time. So it's possible she got it from someone else. But if she has it, you probably have it too.
28:54🔗DrewAll right. So it may not be that you gave it to her, but you may share it with her.
28:57🔗Okay. If she's had it for a long time, she's up to where she has to get a hysterectomy. She's had four surgeries now. So it's been on for a long time, hasn't it? Or I would assume.
29:08🔗DrewThe cancer, yeah. Well, cervical cancer is what kills women in their late 20s.
29:13🔗AdamWell, the virus, right? I mean, she must have harbored it for some time if she's had a bunch of surgeries.
29:18🔗DrewNo, no, no, no. She's had the cancer for a while, too. This is fairly advanced cancer.
29:23🔗AdamI know, but what Vic sort of is saying is she's probably, she could have got this when she was 17.
30:28🔗AdamYou start putting people on hold for Christ's sake.
30:30🔗DrewI've already burned through three times the number of calls you went through last night. So come on, Vic, what? Compatibility what? The way to test?
30:38🔗Yeah, does it take a certain person with another person? Or if I'm with somebody, it can be, it can just happen. Every person I'm with is going to happen to?
31:12🔗Well, my question is, I'm about four weeks pregnant and I've never done it before, but me and my husband want to know if it's okay to have anal sex.
32:26🔗DrewThink of the genetic pool they're coming from. Mom and Dad engaged in this four weeks into pregnancy.
32:31🔗AdamWell, but hold on a second, Drew. They're married, and what's four weeks? I mean, hell, a lot of women don't even know they're pregnant. My mom didn't know she was pregnant until just before I came out.
32:58🔗AdamWhat? What am I wearing? Well, I got myself dressed up a little bit because I was heading out tonight. You know what I mean? Out on the town. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm wearing a shirt. It's a big deal for me. Yeah. I'm not wearing my pajamas and slippers like I normally am.
33:12🔗DrewLet's paint the picture completely here. You're leaning back, feet up on the counter.
33:16🔗AdamNo, I'm trying to do that, but I don't have enough mic cord here. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, I just found some mic cord.
33:22🔗DrewRunning a paper, like writing paper through your teeth, right?
33:32🔗AdamI got to tell you, the mic stands here at Westwood One in New York are like a mooring dock for dirigible. There's one on top of the Empire State Building, I think. It's like 70 stories and it weighs 400 pounds. I'm going to work around it though. Don't worry about me, Drew. Let's go on with the show.
34:04🔗I found out that he was seeing other girls, but when I asked him if he slept with them, he said no. So that's like on my mind a lot while we're having sex, so I can't cooperate. And so what I'm doing, because I have these other girls on my mind.
34:59🔗DrewNo, no, you come around him and he has a service agreement here. He's getting what he needs from the relationship and you get nothing. In the meantime, he's going out with other people.
35:09🔗AdamYeah. What's up with you? Where's your self-esteem?
35:12🔗DrewWhy do you believe just because he'll have sex with you, he cares at all about you?
35:16🔗I don't know. It's all my life. Well, with the ones I've been with, they've been jerks and stuff and they use me and everything.
36:03🔗AdamAll right. Well, listen, Messina, I don't know why you're acting this way if your daddy was around and he was good to you and you love him. I don't know why you're getting hooked up with these jerks, but stop it. This guy's an idiot.
36:15🔗DrewHe does not care about you. I don't care what he does.
36:18🔗AdamHe's got a service agreement with you. You guys aren't together. He's having sex with other women. He's having sex with you. He's 20 and he's having a good time.
36:26🔗DrewHe told you you're broken up. Believe that. That's it. Don't pull just because he has sex. Guys have sex because they need that physical relief, not because they care about someone many, many times.
36:39🔗AdamYou're telling me I was just sitting at Scores a half hour ago.
36:42🔗AdamGoing crazy. Yeah. I'm going to go home and rape my courtesy bar when I get back to the hotel. Jesus Christ. I'm staying at the W Hotel, Drew. Yeah. Yeah. You know what that stands for?
36:57🔗AdamWuss. This is the gayest place I've ever seen in my life. Just a bunch of guys in Nehru jackets and high on styles, short on square footage. Really, I can barely masturbate in my room, barely.
37:12🔗DrewBoy, well, they have your porn though, don't they?
37:15🔗AdamSpectravision. Yeah, but they hack that stuff up. Drives me nuts. You know that time I watched two porn movies because I thought I was going to see something and I went all the way through one?
38:33🔗AdamSee, yep, it is the Loveline. Hey, that's me, Drew. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, facts, forget about that. I'm in New York, Dr. Drew is back there in LA. I haven't slept for two days and I'm drunk.
38:53🔗AdamOh, my God. Seriously, we gonna do another hour after this?
38:59🔗DrewSeriously, yeah. Yeah, I bet you have to get up at 7 o'clock and do TV.
39:05🔗AdamAm I right? No, I don't have to get up at the crack of F tomorrow like I have the last two days. I'm doing Conan TRL and The Daily Show tomorrow. But the following day, I'm doing some sort of radio press junket that starts at 7.30 in the morning. So, oh, I'm gonna be extra cheery for all those morning shows and anyone who's done one of these things, and I'm guessing that's nobody, right, Drew?
39:38🔗AdamIt's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Scaly Boy and the Fishermen are coming in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they all, you listen, the smaller the town, the worse the name of the morning show. And it's never one guy. It's always the morning zoo.
39:57🔗AdamAnd, you know, horns honking and cowbells ringing and, oh, holy Christ, I want to kill myself. It really makes me ashamed to be in radio when I do these things. All right, Drew, where are we going here?
40:10🔗DrewAll right. I can tell that shame just troubles you to no end. Terry is 26. Terry?
40:18🔗GuestYes, I just have a question. I have a five-month-old baby. And ever since I had the baby, it seems like my sex drive is like a lot higher than my husband's.
41:23🔗GuestUm, you know, if I get to bed with him when he goes to bed around nine o'clock, okay, yeah, we can fit it in. But if I'm in bed 915, forget about it.
41:32🔗DrewAdam, I got to tell you, honestly, I have a hard time understanding guys are this way. Really? I just don't get it. Yeah.
41:38🔗AdamWell, Drew, you're a very passionate man. Very passionate. No, you are.
41:45🔗AdamNo, you're passionate, though. I mean, you like the ladies. You always have. You've always been very amorous. As a matter of fact, you like the gents almost as much as you like the ladies, right? No, but Drew.
41:56🔗DrewIf you were here, Adam, I would take advantage of it. I promise.
41:58🔗AdamHere's what I want to say, Drew. Yeah. I know you're a man of science, but you're a man first and foremost. Some guys have a little different metronome than others. We're a little different cadence, a little different pace. You're a hornier guy than I am. Who? I mean, you are. I mean, when you just break it down, I mean, sure, I went off eight times a day.
42:22🔗DrewI love the conversation. I must be the world's greatest enabler because I love the conversations we have when you're on Vicodin or just loaded on alcohol and pot.
42:30🔗AdamYeah. Well, enjoy it because I'm coming down another hour and a half. I'm not going to have a buzz going unless engineer Matt gets me a beer. Yeah, man. Matt's got a joint. That's cool. All right. Hey, listen, Drew. Now, you know what I'm saying? You're a passionate guy. All right. You're a horny guy. Whereas I can get it going, but I'm a little more laid back that way.
42:55🔗DrewWell, you know what it is, really. I think it's the tone of our autonomic central nervous systems. Mine's like excitable and yours like unexcitable. You know what I'm saying? It ties in to all that.
43:08🔗AdamRight. I don't get whipped up as easily as you do in any facet of life.
43:14🔗AdamAll right. Maybe Terry's husband's just working, he's tired, and he's a little more laid back. Is Terry still on the line?
43:23🔗DrewYeah. I don't get that though. What about it? Don't you feel like you have some obligation when your woman is saying, this is what I need? You said the same thing to women, which is, hey, just belly up here.
43:36🔗AdamNo, I know. Belly up, legs up. I know what you're saying, though.
43:41🔗DrewI can't understand just sort of going, no, sorry, honey, I'm tired.
43:46🔗GuestYeah, he doesn't. Probably what? Let's see. There's seven nights a week, so I hear probably, sorry, honey, I'm tired, probably at least four.
43:53🔗AdamAll right. Have you packed on any weight? You got a hair on your lip or anything like that?
43:58🔗GuestNo. I just had a baby five months ago, so I'm not as skinny as I was, but I'm not pushing 200 pounds or anything.
44:08🔗AdamYou guys have been married for how long?
44:10🔗GuestWe've been married for about 18 months.
44:17🔗GuestMy six-year-old's from a previous marriage.
44:20🔗DrewLet me see. The mommy thing may kick in here a little bit. You said we have a six-year-old and then-
44:25🔗AdamOh, Jesus. Hold on. Listen, I can't put Terry on hold so I can talk about how goddamn retarded she is but I said to her, it feels like an hour and 45 minutes ago, well, maybe this guy's a little freaked out over the mommy thing because you're pregnant, he doesn't want to have sex with you. Now you've given birth, he doesn't want to have sex with you. A certain percentage of guys, and I'd probably include myself in that list, might get a little weird with the whole mommy. You know, this is no longer some hot chick you're married, this is mommy you're banging on top of. And she quickly dismissed that and said, oh no, no, no, we have a six-year-old. In which case I went, oh, all right, well the guy's been through it, and I guess that's not the way he's looking at it. Now, as the story unfurls, it turns out it's not his child.
45:35🔗Dr. Drew, I have a question for you. I think I'm OCD. I'm wondering if that would translate into a predilection for addiction, like drugs or alcohol.
45:44🔗DrewNot specifically, but some people have conceptualized addiction as an obsessive-compulsive disorder, and there probably are some shared genetic mechanisms. And if you had a family history of addiction and OCD, I'd be sort of concerned that perhaps that's a marker for you carrying that gene combo, but not in and of itself. Do you feel like you sort of seek substances in your environment to get relief?
46:08🔗I've never smoked a cigarette even or drank or anything.
46:13🔗DrewI'm not sure. I think this is your OCD obsessing about your having an addiction.
46:28🔗AdamWait, wait, wait. What do you do with the OCD? You wash your hands all the time?
46:32🔗It's not really like one, it's not really a ritual, but if I think of something that I think I have to do, then I'll do it. It's not like a ritual every night.
46:40🔗DrewWhat are you afraid is going to happen if you don't?
46:42🔗AdamIf you scratch your ass, could you pick your nose?
47:32🔗Yeah. I, like, yesterday I noticed that, like, on my scrotum and, like, alongside the belly and the head of my penis, sort of got, like, this dried up look to it, and it feels kind of like a, I guess, a waxy feeling, I would say, or, like, crumbled up wax paper or something like that. And I, I've never had anything wrong with me before, so.
48:19🔗AdamYeah. Yeah, I think Jonah was eaten by, and lived for some years in the belly of the great penis.
48:27🔗DrewOkay. All right, Angel, I'm sorry. I find trying to make an assessment of skin problems woefully impossible on the radio.
48:37🔗AdamAll right. This sounds like could be like some kind of heat rash type thing.
48:41🔗DrewIt could be anything, but it does sound something.
48:43🔗AdamGo get it checked out. It doesn't sound STD-ish because it's all over everywhere.
48:47🔗DrewSkin problem. It needs to have it checked out.
48:49🔗AdamRight. It's a very moist area down there.
48:51🔗DrewAll right, Adam. Sit your moist ass down and take a break. Are we done? We got five minutes. No, no, no. One more hour. You can go ahead and load up again. Once you go back out to the strip bar for a few minutes, I'll talk for a while by myself about 20 minutes. You get recharged and come on back. You got to live on sitting out there.
49:09🔗AdamI need a hair from the whore that bit me.
49:12🔗AdamThat's what I need. All right. Good times there, Drew.
49:15🔗DrewIndeed it is. Until then, we'll take a little break. Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute. Well, it's worth hearing. And welcome back to Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla is here somewhere. It is a full moon, as evidenced by his behavior and...
50:18🔗DrewAnd your behavior convinced me, in fact, it is a full moon.
50:21🔗AdamThe sun is coming up over here, Drew, so there's no moon. You know, it's great about working the graveyard shift. I'm looking through my studio window in some monitoring room, and there's a guy just sprawled out sawing logs. I mean, I got to believe that's part of the agreement when you hire somebody to work, you know, at, you know, they work the shift from midnight till 8 a.m. You got to figure they're going to be doing a fair amount of sleeping, don't you?
50:50🔗AdamAnd doesn't that sort of, you know, come with the territory? I mean, if you're going to get a guy to work at 4.30 in the morning, you should be able to saw some logs.
50:59🔗DrewDid you have any trouble getting through the security guard at the front?
51:02🔗AdamNo, he actually seemed to know who I was.
51:05🔗DrewYeah, the same guy, the same guy probably I had. When I came out, like at, what's that, 3 in the morning when you get done there, the whole lobby smelled the pot.
51:17🔗AdamYeah. Engineer Matt over here is giving me the thumbs up. Matt, the security guard, he tokes out in the lobby or somebody else, somebody's toking in there. The point is, he's not saying anything. It's funny, they can't just step out of the front door.
51:31🔗DrewThat's what I thought. That's what occurred to me. I said, the whole lobby.
51:34🔗AdamThat's brazen. I'll tell you what happened. Let me tell you, if I know bad employees, let me tell you how it works. For the first 18 months, the guy went around the corner. I mean, he went out the front door, he went down to Lexington and smoked that weed, right? And as the years wore on and he got a little more comfortable and they never got busted, he started to work it. So at a certain point about this time last year, he was probably just standing outside of the door. But then one day it was raining or snowing real hard and he started to head out and he said, oh, F it, I'll just do it in the lobby. And from that point on, it's been lobby.
52:10🔗DrewAnd Lord knows, Adam, you know about employees that coast and push limits.
53:06🔗Well, I'm uncircumcised. Yeah. I was just wondering if it's true that I put you on pills for two months after they circumcise you, so you can't get an erection?
53:38🔗AdamWhat if you're Jewish? You think insurance would cover it?
53:41🔗DrewYeah. I don't know. Maybe they could pass the basket around temple. But more importantly, what you could is make an argument that there's some medical reason you're getting stenosis or irritation or bleeding or something that's making function impaired, and then you could sort of probably get it that way. All right?
53:59🔗AdamDrew, I know we're talking about this, but it really cracks me up because I hear this PSA all the time. There's two things that crack me up. The Southern California Jewish Centers.
54:12🔗AdamWell, you know, the goyim, when they plead for money or help or relief, the non-Jewish relief organizations, they're always like, send a quarter, a dollar, a dented can of stew. Anything you can would help. The Jewish Relief Center says, send your RV, boat, car, or property. They've now added property to the thing. Only the Jews could think in this grandiose of fashion. Whereas like, you go, yeah, I got about 400 acres around Big Sur. Yours. You know what I mean? Like, who gives away property? I mean, I understand wearing out a pair of jeans and throwing them in the goodwill bucket out front of the market, and I understand maybe even having like, you know, an old moped or something, or 10-speed or something, you turn it, but an RV, a boat, property you're giving away? Please, very lofty. And the other thing I've learned from this commercial, which I really, I hear it all the time. They play it on AM radio, is my other beef is, you don't need a jingle for everything. Do you know what I'm saying?
55:32🔗AdamThere's certain organizations, certain car lots. You've all heard them a million times where the words don't rhyme and it's a little lumpy and it doesn't exactly slide off the tongue. So just don't make a goddamn song out of it. But here's their song. Your gift of hope is a great deduction. I love the Jews too with the deduction. They got to work the tax benefit right into the song. Your gift of hope is a great deduction. Southern California Jewish Center. Stop singing.
56:07🔗DrewYeah. Speaking of circumcision and this sort of thing.
56:11🔗AdamI'd like to give a mountain and a palace away. I think that's what they're going to add to it. Boats, RVs, planes, dirigibles, mountains, palaces, and property. Oh, I'd like to donate a canyon and a river if that's okay. Okay, got it.
56:26🔗DrewBut the glass call we had, Jeff, I wonder, you know, you hear there's this sort of ground swell of concern about people having had their foreskin taken from them, that they feel resentful for their parents. Now, how about all the kids that didn't have circumcision that are pissed off because they don't look the same as their friends? Jeff is 14. He's probably a product of that whole movement. You say, hey, why didn't they do this to me when I couldn't feel it?
56:51🔗AdamYeah. Well, now he's got to pay the fiddler. But let me tell you about the foreskin restoration stuff.
56:58🔗AdamI've not heard too much about that in the last five years.
57:02🔗DrewOh, no, no. They send me stuff. Seriously, regularly.
57:06🔗AdamThey may send you stuff, but I just have not heard that much about it. I mean, it was much more popular, at least much more discussed five, six years ago than it is now. I wonder, I don't know what the data is, but I wonder if more people are going back toward circumcision now. You know what I'm saying?
57:27🔗DrewOh, yes. I think people are sort of get over it.
57:31🔗AdamIs that what they're saying? Drew is such a fan of circumcision, he even had his daughter done.
58:14🔗CallerWell, either the pool or the lake or something.
58:17🔗AdamOh, I see. In a body of water. I understand that. I thought he meant no, I thought the way he said it is like, how about swimming? I thought he was on the team.
58:51🔗AdamWell, here's what I mean. Here's what's in it for me as a male when I see a woman with some kind of piercing or a tant or something like that. Open for business. That's what I'm thinking. Like when I see a woman who has a tongue piercing, for instance, or nipple piercing or whatever piercing, it's not that it's aesthetically pleasing. The only good that could come of it is I think, okay, she's good to go. This one. She's ready for action.
59:18🔗DrewIt's projecting that. Yeah. Even though they may not even necessarily know consciously that's what they're projecting. That's how guys receive it anyway.
59:25🔗AdamIf you went out on a date with a girl who had a tongue piercing, you'd be thinking, I may be getting myself a BJ before this night's over.
59:34🔗AdamNow, here's my point. When a guy has a tongue piercing or a nipple piercing, what's in it for women? I mean, are they thinking, oh, he's good to go?
59:47🔗DrewAll right. Here's how we're going to figure this out. During the commercial, I will check the in the news message board at drdrew.com, and women and men go in there and express, put up a posting on what it means, what women think it means when a guy has certain kinds of piercings, how they perceive that. So it's in the news message board at drdrew.com, and I'll check it during the commercials. All right?
1:01:04🔗CallerOkay, my boyfriend keeps insisting that he wants anal sex, and I'm, like, all nervous about it because it looks painful, and I heard it hurts.
1:01:14🔗DrewWhy would you want to go ahead and do that if it's not something you want to do?
1:01:50🔗DrewShe had all kinds of suggestions. And what's her name?
1:01:55🔗AdamI think it was the Road Less Traveled 2, Up Your Cornhole. I think it was. Wasn't it? Like, you know how the title works? The Road Less Traveled 2, in parentheses, Up Your Cornhole.
1:02:26🔗AdamWell, if you want to do it, then use a lot of lubricant. Make sure you're nice and warm.
1:02:33🔗DrewAnderson, you whispered in my ear, butt plug. So thanks, Anderson, for that delicate remark.
1:02:37🔗AdamYeah, start with a butt plug, a graduated butt plug. Yeah, I remember when my dad got me my first butt plug. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. I cried like a baby. I don't know. Use a lot of lubricant, OK? And listen, if it hurts, stop. Right. There you go.
1:02:54🔗DrewIt's not the healthiest thing we do. Make sure he's wearing a condom. Hey, so far, no feedback in the in the news message board at drdrew.com. What do women perceive when guys have piercings? What does that mean to them? Let's go to Jenny, who is 17. Jenny.
1:03:09🔗CallerHi. I was just wondering what the effects of acid was after like 50.
1:03:21🔗DrewWell, I believe that after about 30 hits, my clinical experience has been that somewhere around 20 or 30 hits, or if you've taken one sort of large multi-hit dose, you're going to have mood disturbances the rest of your life. Panic, anxiety, and depression that must be treated with medication. In fact, and even that is difficult to treat.
1:03:42🔗CallerI just want to know why too, because I've had a really good childhood and everything.
1:03:47🔗DrewBecause it's a brain injury. It depletes the mood centers. It actually damages the cells in there and depletes the chemicals that are there to maintain your mood.
1:03:55🔗AdamHow many hits you? Hold on there, Loudmouth. How many have you done, Jenny?
1:04:02🔗AdamI see. Fantastic. Well, listen, you're still young.
1:04:05🔗DrewI'm sure you're not used to it. You've got your whole life to be screwed. One of the markers for the brain damage is seeing trailers still after fast-moving objects. Do you still see trailers?
1:04:17🔗DrewThat doesn't happen because it's cool. It happens because your brain has been damaged. Yeah. That's one of the signs that, in my experience, is associated with the severe mood problems down the road.
1:04:42🔗AdamYeah. Well, listen, y'all, don't F with your brain before you're 18.
1:04:49🔗DrewEven after 18. Yeah. You know what? I don't care. I don't care anymore. I've got the Corolla syndrome. I'm overwhelmed by people's just constant pursuit of this.
1:05:02🔗AdamHere's the point. If you get started with something after 18, it's probably not going to take anyway.
1:05:08🔗DrewYou're not going to be doing it as recklessly. Yeah, that's probably true.
1:05:13🔗AdamWhy mess with the paint before it's dried? You're really going to screw it up. You really are.
1:05:28🔗GuestI see this woman's name on the color ID all the time. I had never seen it with my own eyes, but just from the day before yesterday, it was like around 1130. A quick call came and he was just like, yeah, I'll be there. He hung up and he pressed something to erase it from the color ID. We have three phones with the same light. So I ran upstairs and I checked it, and sure enough, it was her name. There have been things like my grandma, she's at home all day with him, so she hears him on the phone all the time. This woman, she used to be my violin teacher. So that gave a connection, but I stopped learning from her, and still they have a connection, and I wanted to stop, but I don't know what to do.
1:06:17🔗AdamAll right. Wait a second. Why is he home all day with your grandma?
1:06:43🔗AdamWrite this one down for the Loveline Archives because our collars find new and innovative ways to be combative on a nightly basis. Is that your mom's mom? Is that your grandma? No, it's my mom's mom.
1:07:22🔗AdamJust limo dispatcher. That's trouble. Yeah. Guilty. Guilty. Anybody has anything to do with transportation. Guilty. Guilty. I don't know what it is. I don't know how it works. But these guys are bottom feeders. I don't know. Yes.
1:07:42🔗GuestHe's at home all the time. He has people who work for him.
1:07:46🔗AdamRight. Okay. So now how's your mom doing?
1:08:30🔗AdamYou're not going to talk your dad out of this. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Your mom already knows more than you do, I'm sure. I'm positive of it. Focus on school, get your grades up and go off to college somewhere.
1:08:48🔗AdamWell, that's it. Well, yeah. What do you want to do?
1:08:52🔗GuestWell, I want to stop because he has a history of it. His dad cheated on his mom, but nothing happened. And his sister, how she got married is she was like, this guy was cheating on his wife with her and then she ended up marrying the guy.
1:09:06🔗DrewAll right. What do you want to do, Maria?
1:09:15🔗AdamHe's not going to listen to you. Well, okay. Tell him you know what's going on and just tell him how disappointed you are in him.
1:09:22🔗DrewAnd how it affects you, how painful it is for you.
1:09:25🔗AdamBut Maria, I'm telling you I'm going to give you some great drunken advice here. Listen up. Your dad is not a great guy. No. Your mother, even though she's a victim here, she probably doesn't come from a great environment.
1:09:40🔗AdamYeah. She chose daddy and chose to stay with daddy. Their parents, everything's a mess over there. You, my dear, do not have to be a mess. You understand? You can have kids that grow up around parents that love each other. As long as you go to college, get yourself out of that environment. Not all men are evil. Just because your dad happens to be a jackass doesn't mean all of them are. It's true about 80 percent of them are, but not all of them. Don't think that all guys are deceitful and get out of there. Hang out with your friends, hang out after school, get more involved with stuff, and spend a little bit of time at home and then go off to college, okay?
1:10:40🔗AdamListen, guys, you really screw your daughters over when you do this. For some reason, guys don't seem bothered by it, or they have Teflon on them or something. You know what I mean, Drew?
1:10:58🔗AdamWhen a young male is growing up and mama's a little whacked out, it's not great for him, but it doesn't ruin him. He doesn't think all women are like mama.
1:11:08🔗AdamWhen daddy's flandering and drinking and abusing and doing God knows what, dispatching limousines, oh dear Lord. Drew, what is that?
1:11:17🔗DrewYeah. I don't know what that is. I wasn't familiar with that aspect of human beings.
1:11:22🔗AdamBut you know when people are involved with the transportation industry, how they're all despicable? Limo dispatchers, cab drivers, there's something wrong with all of them.
1:11:32🔗DrewIt's all like, what did Danny DeVito play in the taxi?
1:11:35🔗AdamYeah, it's all like taxi, but they're even worse. Yeah. How does that work?
1:11:48🔗AdamThe point is, listen, don't screw up your girls. They really, they internalize everything.
1:11:53🔗DrewThank you. Absolutely not. I'm going to check out the In The News message board at drdrew.com and see what women perceive, why they are or are not attracted to me.
1:12:01🔗AdamWe're not going to get a good, we won't get a good answer out of this.
1:12:05🔗DrewI got a ton of piercing, a ton of piercing, a ton of postings there. It's a question is, what does it mean to you and why?
1:13:04🔗DrewAnd I checked out the In The News message board at drdrew.com, and predominantly what we're getting there is women saying that it projects something similar to what men see, which is basically sort of open for business. But there's sort of a twist to it for women. It's like, oh, that's a bad boy, a dangerous guy. Therefore, I'm attracted to him. As opposed to with men, it's just open for business or not, right? Would you say?
1:13:27🔗AdamYeah. I mean, here's the reality. Men are interested in, we're talking about piercings and what they do for the opposite sex. Men look at women as women. I mean, it varies a little bit. We don't really care whether she's a bad girl or a nice girl or naughty or whatever. She's a chick. She's attractive. We're in. Women are great. They're so stupid. You can fool them completely. You know what I mean? You can just create this persona for yourself as a male and they'll be instantly attracted to you. You could be the biggest geek, biggest nerd in your high school and then work yourself into a little Marilyn Manson look, a little mummy rock, a little bad boy thing. At a certain point in life, dye your hair, lose a few pounds, get a few piercings, cop an attitude, get a tat and chicks will be all over you.
1:14:47🔗CallerMy boyfriend can't perform longer than a minute, and I was wondering what's causing that.
1:14:52🔗AdamYeah. That seems like a reasonable amount of time to have sex.
1:14:56🔗CallerWell, I don't know if it's because he drinks all the time, and he said that he's been drinking for two days, and if we have sex and he can't go longer than a minute, then he's leaving me. He said we must not be compatible.
1:15:06🔗AdamThat's quite a commitment. He's going to get off the booze for a whole 48 hours?
1:15:10🔗AdamYeah. Although I got to admit, Drew, it sounds like a tall order about now. Where you are. Who am I talking to? Yeah. Well, let's see now. Hold on. This guy just sounds like a world class jackass. First off, I don't know why booze is going to speed that up. If anything, it'd probably slow it down, wouldn't it? Yeah.
1:15:32🔗CallerI mean, he can drink like all the time and he works. When he comes off work, he'll have like a beer or two, but on the weekends, he drinks all the time.
1:15:39🔗AdamRight. But why is he talking about not being compatible? I mean, this guy...
1:16:03🔗CallerFrom GNC. He just started taking that. And he says that he hasn't took it when we were together, but I don't know.
1:16:09🔗DrewHas he always been this way that he can't last more than a minute?
1:16:12🔗CallerUm, we've been together for a month and a half and just recently we started having sex. We had sex four times in the last couple of days.
1:16:50🔗AdamOkay. Listen, you tell him he has to work out his penis problem. It has nothing to do with compatibility. Right. You know, I mean, this guy has an orgasm inside of one minute and then blames you because, well, you're just not compatible.
1:17:06🔗AdamBut I could grab this guy's Johnson with an oven mitt and he'd probably come in 30 seconds. Write that down, Drew. Give me an oven mitt and reach around. Full release oven mitt and we call it. Yeah, this guy's an idiot. And I don't know why you're attracted to him. I really don't. Are you desperate?
1:17:57🔗AdamOkay. All right. Listen, look into all this stuff.
1:18:00🔗DrewGo to Al-Anon or Alateen. Seriously, you need to get some recovery going here. Really step back from who you are in relationships because you've become now the caretaker of alcoholics and that is not what you need to be right now. Okay?
1:18:14🔗DrewYour attraction is built on that right now. You know what? I want to write a book about attraction because no one has done that. Think about it.
1:18:21🔗AdamI don't know. Have they? I don't read, Drew. As you know, I feel it poisons the mind.
1:18:25🔗DrewThere really is no sort of easy manual to help people understand how attraction and arousal works because I don't think people really believe it if they.
1:18:34🔗AdamWell, listen, here's how attraction works. For guys, it's based on what the chick looks like. For girls, it's based on several thousand elements, mostly relating to daddy and a little bit to mommy and the whole upbringing and everything.
1:18:51🔗DrewEven though we get a share of guys who are caretakers, who are busy taking care of alcohol moms and dads, and they have the relationships with the alcoholics.
1:19:01🔗AdamYes, they find them, but they would not discard an attractive sober woman to get to an alcoholic.
1:19:11🔗DrewBut that's true, but they wouldn't probably sustain a relationship with her.
1:19:16🔗AdamRight, but that'd probably be more their choice, the woman's choice than theirs.
1:19:21🔗AdamYeah, you show me a guy's gonna take a real Foxy chick. And I'm talking about, you know, not some guy who's in a band or something, whether there's some guy who's just working a regular job, he's got himself a Foxy girlfriend, he's not going anywhere.
1:19:40🔗CallerI've been having sex with my girlfriend for about two months now, and first time I ever used a condom, and about two out of three times, it breaks.
1:20:25🔗AdamGood times. You guys extra vigorous? Uh, not really, no. Well, all right, so why would the condom keep breaking if your penis isn't gigantic, if you're using different brands, and if you're not going at it in a vigorous fashion? That's the question.
1:20:48🔗DrewAnd you're not, it's not like you're storing them in your wallet or your glove compartment or something. That's when you're using new condoms. What's the issue here?
1:20:55🔗CallerShe even got some from, when she went to the doctor, she got on the pill.
1:21:18🔗AdamYeah. Listen, I have no idea. I would say this could be a bad luck. No. Well, listen, this probably happened five times to them. And condoms do break. And here's what you need to do. Go out and get yourself, once try getting the Magnum ones. You'll look cooler. The ones that are a little bit bigger, try those ones out. Maybe those will do.
1:21:44🔗DrewYou're not using like a petroleum-based lubricant, are you?
1:21:52🔗AdamNo, we're not. But I don't know what to say. I would also say, Drew, shouldn't he buy, does price make a difference? Should he buy the more expensive brand of condom?
1:22:02🔗DrewI don't know that. I don't know that. Hey, I was calling through some of these comments in the news message boards. Finally, a good question here. Adam Drew, what's your favorite Woody Allen film?
1:22:14🔗AdamOh, wow. Really, they put that on there.
1:22:41🔗AdamHey, good times. Good times. Good times.
1:23:23🔗DrewWelcome back to Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam is here somewhere. His favorite Woody Allen film is Crimes and Misdemeanors. Mine is Love and Death. No. Do you need to call an ambulance?
1:24:04🔗CallerOkay. My question is, me and my girlfriend, we've been together for about like, say, like about three and a half years, and for the past six months, like while we have sex, she ends up bleeding. It's not a lot or nothing, but it ends up happening, and she's already gone to the doctor, and they said, it's just, they really can't find anything, and I was wondering if you can give me a second opinion.
1:24:26🔗DrewIt's very common for some women to have bleeding from sex.
1:24:38🔗CallerYes. I was molested when I was five by my cousin. He is married now and has a daughter about six or seven. Okay. His wife has leukemia. She's getting a bone marrow transplant here in the next couple of months. And I think that's like what a 50-50 chance of living or dying.
1:24:59🔗DrewWell, maybe we'll hire that, but still it's a very serious procedure.
1:25:02🔗AdamYeah. Scott, to be honest, it's more like a 60-60 chance.
1:25:08🔗CallerOkay. So what should I do? Should I let someone know that he has done this before?
1:25:15🔗AdamWell, how old was he when he did this to you?
1:25:18🔗CallerHe's about five years older than me, probably.
1:26:00🔗AdamOkay. So this guy has some serious issues? Yeah.
1:26:04🔗CallerYeah. He did it to another cousin, well two other cousins.
1:26:07🔗DrewI'm glad you finally arrived at that conclusion.
1:26:09🔗AdamWell, listen, hold on a second there, Scott. Let me speak the wise ass for a second. He said his cousin molested him when he was five. If he was going to tell me his cousin was seven and he was five and he did it once, I was going to say, all right, no big deal. I mean, let's not call the cops. Or if he was going to tell me, I was hoping they were close in age.
1:26:33🔗AdamYou know what I mean? Or that it happened one time and never happened again. But now there's some real cause for concern here is what I'm saying.
1:26:42🔗DrewSo you might call Child Protective Services.
1:26:45🔗CallerOkay. He did it to two other cousins of mine, one a girl and one a guy.
1:27:42🔗AdamSalmon. Listen, here's all I'm saying. I'm trying to figure out what got done to this guy that turned him into such a mess, and this guy's running roughshod over the entire family.
1:27:51🔗DrewLet's stay focused on the question of hand, which is how to protect the kids of this man. These kids now are under his domain exclusively. The wife has leukemia. There's no one to supervise this. I suggest you call Child Protective Services and see to what extent, what sort of remedies there are out there, whether there are any, because there may be none, and it may be really about rallying support within your family. And that could be pretty stressful and difficult, but you gotta get other adults involved who have an opportunity to come in here and protect these kids. Cora, 21.
1:28:19🔗AdamSorry you have to do this there, Scott. Uh-oh.
1:28:23🔗GuestI have a small voice, but I'm really 21.
1:28:28🔗GuestWell, I told my boyfriend just recently that when I was in high school, I was a freshman, and I masturbated this dog that came into my sister's female dog, but I felt sorry for it, because it was trying to have sex with her, but she was like four times bigger than it.
1:28:48🔗DrewWell, wait a minute. I did not follow that. Adams, did you follow? You're drunk. Can you follow?
1:28:55🔗AdamI'm drunk, and I blacked out halfway into the call, but I came back, and here's what I think it was. A dog, when she was in high school, when Laura was in high school, a dog was trying to have sex with another dog, a female dog, but the female dog was too big, and the poor male dog couldn't do anything, so Laura, being the pet lover that she is, yanked the dog off. Yeah.
1:29:22🔗AdamIs that true, Laura? Yeah, who's drunk now?
1:29:24🔗DrewShe's compassionate for the male plight.
1:29:26🔗AdamYeah, she's the Betty White of her generation.
1:29:30🔗GuestWell, my boyfriend, when I told him this, he told me that I was practically a rapist or a child molester, and he took my four pet ferrets away, and now he won't talk to me.
1:29:55🔗AdamI thought you said Mexico for some reason. And, well, you know, that's a weird thing. It's like ferrets are illegal in California, but they're fine everywhere else. I don't know. All right, Drew, you know what a ferret is?
1:30:15🔗AdamHe was that leather gay guy who traveled around with a tiger and a ferret. And they did something through rocks at bad people. I can't remember that show. But here's the point. Why do you have four ferrets, by the way? What happened to you, Laura?
1:31:06🔗AdamShe's a layman, but felt some goo coming out of the penis after stroking it for a length of time. So I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say that the dog actually had an orgasm.
1:31:18🔗GuestWell, it seemed pretty happy anyway, and it came back later to the yard, so.
1:31:22🔗AdamI see. I see. Oh, boy. Hey, Drew, let me talk to you for a second. Put Laura on hold.
1:31:30🔗AdamCora. Sorry. You know, as a guy, you meet a chick and you're thinking, hey, this could be something. Maybe she's the one. And then there's always that point where they drop that bomb.
1:31:47🔗AdamTurns out their dad was doing some kind of ritualistic sex act to him in the basement for a few years or that they yank the neighbor's dog off or something. This is one of those stories where you just start wilting as a boyfriend halfway into it. And you wish there's like a part of you that wants to yell, stop, stop, just stop, just don't say anything. Please, let's just make love and we'll go to the beach. No more talking.
1:32:15🔗AdamYeah. Baby, don't talk right now. Let me just look at you. Yeah. Well, you know, here's the deal. That's what you call a deal breaker for a lot of guys. And this guy may be right. I mean, he sends, you know, where there's smoke, there's fire. Yeah. Let's just talk to Cora real quick here. Let's find out what's wrong with her.
1:32:38🔗GuestUm, well, yes, but that wasn't why I was.
1:32:43🔗AdamI know. But you have that you have that little girl voice. And that always means molestation.
1:32:48🔗GuestYeah. I've listened to you guys say that a lot.
1:32:51🔗AdamYeah. What happened? How old were you?
1:32:53🔗GuestUm, well, I don't remember when it first happened, but I know it was when I was extremely young, when my grandfather was taking care of me.
1:33:11🔗AdamOh, good. Yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah. I hope he goes early. I hope someone shoots him 10 minutes before he actually dies of natural causes. What's he have? Some kind of cancer?
1:33:22🔗GuestNo, he just, like, eats rotting food and won't take care of himself.
1:33:27🔗AdamOkay, good. Well, let's hope he dies soon. Hey, yeah, Cora, you got to look into all this stuff. We're not going to really get into the part about you giving Rover the reach-around. See, that's good alliteration there.
1:34:09🔗GuestAnd I said I was 22 because I was thinking about what I was going to tell the cops today if I ran away. But I'm just, I'm really stressed out because I really want to help my family because I've been at a foster home for 14 years. But it was really messed up. And I feel like a lot of it's my fault, you know, and that I'm going to be like really messed up, too, because I just got out of the life of like drugs and everything because I've been really depressed and everything.
1:34:37🔗DrewAll right, Joanie, here's a couple of just simple words of advice. Stay focused on your recovery. It's not your fault that your family's messed up, nor is it your responsibility. You're not going to be able to rescue them. It's very painful to accept who they are in reality, but that's reality. In the meantime, all you can do and the only thing you can change is what goes on in you, and you need to stay connected with the program.
1:35:02🔗GuestBut the only thing is now that I'm gone from there, there's no one to take care of them right now.
1:35:07🔗DrewThat's not your responsibility. You're the child, you're not the caretaker.
1:35:12🔗AdamYes. Please take care of yourself. The best thing you could do for them is get your own ass together.
1:35:19🔗AdamThat would be the greatest burden relief for them.
1:35:22🔗DrewYou can come back and support them if you actually get a job and become functional in society, but that's going to take some work. We got to go to break. Adam, you're almost done. You're almost there.
1:35:32🔗AdamNo, I'm done now. You're saying bye. I got to go throw up. Actually, I'm masturbating.
1:36:25🔗DrewAnd that brings another Loveline to a close. I've sent the Vice Squad out to pick up Mr. Corolla there in Manhattan, and hopefully, he won't put up too much of a fight. You know, a few hours in the holding tank, we'll might help him out a little bit, make him sort of identify some consequences from his behaviors, which God knows have been hard enough to bring to bear. Again, I'm Dr. Drew, that was Adam Corolla. Tomorrow night, it will again be just the two of us, and we'll be from New York, and I'll be, oh no, I'm sorry, do we have, tomorrow night, the former pimp? Thursday night, we have a very interesting gentleman coming in here who had been a pimp at one time and described what that life is all about. Gave us a chance to sort of pick his brain a little bit, but tomorrow night, it'll just be the two of us, and until then, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo. Sit your moist ass down. Well now.