0:18🔗
I'm gonna write you that you can't stand up.
0:24🔗
Voiceover
Loveline's meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listen, her discretion is advised. Here's Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.
0:41🔗
Adam
It's that coveted 18 to 34 thing that everyone's looking for now, and that's where it seems to be doing the best. And this is, so it came out end of August.
1:18🔗
Adam
I mean, like, I looked the same as I did when Jaleel hit the air, is this 11-year-old, you know, sort of, Adam's, oversized Adam's apple neighbor guy. And now, how big is he?
1:31🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Well, he's like six feet tall now. But that's the major growing stage, you know. He grew up on that show and he couldn't even play Urkel anymore.
1:40🔗
Adam
It was funny because he was having to, like, you know how everything gets sad at the end? Like, whenever you make a character choice, whether it's Pee Wee Herman or Urkel or Lenny and Squiggy or Ellie May from, you know, the Beverly Hillbillies or something, it always gets a little sad toward the end. It was real funny at the beginning. And then at the end, it's like his voice has changed.
2:04🔗
Marissa Ribisi
He's six foot one, he's 205, you know, and he's like, I guess it's still worse because he became like the star of that show, you know?
2:23🔗
Adam
Yeah. I think after I'm trying to think, I think they cancel they cancel shows like in the first like three to four seasons. But once you make it like nine seasons, they end.
2:35🔗
Adam
They no longer can be canceled. It's like, hey, F you. We've been on 11 years. We're canceled. We're ending the show.
2:43🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Well, I think you sign like a seven year contract and then they'll you know, either another network will pick it up or something like that.
2:51🔗
Adam
That show was just on 15 networks at 15 time slots, eight days a week. It was it was an Urkel orgy every time I turned the TV on.
3:02🔗
Adam
All right. But enough about Urkel. So grownups and he's a fine actor. Let's he's broken away from the Urkel.
3:12🔗
Adam
That's right. And Marissa's brother is what the hell is his name? Where the hell is that? He was on. He's done. What the hell is that?
3:25🔗
Adam
Now, Giovanni has done a whole bunch of movies. But not only that, a lot of you may remember him as the husband of the goofy chick on Friends who wanted to get pregnant.
3:59🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But the point is, it's a busy schedule, right? You don't you don't get out much.
4:03🔗
Adam
My hand hurts. He was trying to have a baby and he couldn't have a baby with his older goofy wife. So Phoebe decided to get pregnant for him. And he's really he's really a wonderful actor, this guy, because he does these far out wild comedic roles. And then he does these real serious roles.
4:25🔗
Adam
Yeah. Get him on the show. I know he's shy, but you tell him to get over it. And listen, this whole like actor business, like, hey, I'm really shy. I look, stay home if you're shy. I mean, don't act.
4:42🔗
Adam
A camera, a live audience. I mean, you're on Friends, for Christ's sake, on a reoccurring role. And he was on for like a whole season, right?
4:57🔗
Marissa Ribisi
We had to do press in Japan and we had to do lots of interviews. And he was shy. You know, he'd talk about the characters and stuff, but it's kind of painful, you know?
5:27🔗
Yeah.
5:28🔗
Caller
I've been with the same guy for a year and a half and nothing's changed with him. Everything is completely normal. But for the past two weeks, it's taken me three times as long to have an orgasm.
6:25🔗
Adam
But is it a good thing to have an orgasm in two minutes? Well, don't you want to savor it?
6:42🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. I'm sorry to have to start yelling at our listeners already. But listen, screwball, is it a good? They never answer my question. It drives me insane. It drives me insane. Is it good to have an orgasm in two minutes? Did you like that?
7:19🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But it's, and then, but also during your not as turned on, right? I mean, during the ten minutes, during the longer ones lately?
7:26🔗
Caller
Yeah, like, well, well, I thought maybe it was, it had something to do with like, maybe I'm just not in the mood to have sex. Maybe I'm too tired.
7:36🔗
Caller
Um, last night I decided to masturbate and it took like so long. Like it was so frustrating. I like quit twice in between. And I was like, oh my God, I have to just this over with. You know, like you have to, you know, you can't start something in the nuts. You know, finish it, so.
7:56🔗
Drew
Yeah. Well, listen, there are possibilities. One is that there's some medical problem, thyroid condition, God knows what, going on in some change in your auditory cycle. Two is that this is just plain old stress and you're tired. Three is something's wrong in the relationship. Four is maybe you're a little depressed. Lots of possibilities.
8:17🔗
Adam
I still don't, okay. She only has one. It comes in two minutes. Now she has one. It comes in 15 minutes. And that's upsetting. And I don't believe we got everything out of her.
8:27🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I don't think it's about the time though, actually. It's more about the being turned on.
8:55🔗
Adam
I'm opening a store at a mall, a specialty store. I guess they call them boutique type stores. It's going to be called, what's going to be called, Drew?
9:15🔗
Adam
Yeah, simply. Simply lava lamps and cock rings. And I'm looking for distributors right now. I'm looking for people who want to franchise these things, you know?
9:28🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we, we, we, I'm not going to hire guys. That's a little creepy. Yeah. I mean, I'll have them in the back stocking the lava lamps and the cock rings, but at the counter, it's just going to be beautiful young women.
9:53🔗
Caller
Here's my problem. I live in La Cunha, and there's a lot of wealthy people where I live, and there's this girl that I babysit down the street, and she's 14 years old. Lately, in the past three weeks, she's been trying to do sexual stuff with me. On the last time, I was watching a movie, and I started to fall asleep, and I woke up, and I caught her trying to unzip my pants and stuff, and there's been several cases where she tried to take off her clothes, or she tried to get on top of me and stuff, and I'm scared to tell her parents because I'm afraid her parents are gonna fire me or something, because they're paying me $10 an hour, and I work five hours.
10:42🔗
Adam
That's right, $70 an hour worth of food, but be that as it may. Yeah, did you talk to her?
10:49🔗
Caller
Well, like, not only did I talk to her, but sometimes I have to, like, wrestle her off of me and stuff. And I'm, like, scared to tell her parents because, like...
11:02🔗
Adam
Okay, here's what you do. Now, here's what I would do. I would probably just drop the gig. Yeah. You know, here's how it works.
11:13🔗
Adam
It's not worth the 42 bucks you make that night or whatever it is. Yeah, here's the way it works. They call you on a Tuesday. They say, hey, this Saturday, we got some tickets to the opera. Can you babysit? And you say, bad luck. I'm going out of town camping with my cousin. And you just keep avoiding.
11:47🔗
Adam
If she was like some really hot 14 year old with a body and everything, hell yes, he would have done something to her.
12:03🔗
Adam
That's a little, yeah. And listen, folks, parents, don't get a 17 year old man to come and watch the kiddies.
12:25🔗
Adam
I, that's who I'm gonna hire. I know, you know, I'm gonna hire, what was Opie's grandma's name from Aunt B? Aunt B. Aunt B. That's what I'm talking about. Like a bonnet and a purse.
12:41🔗
No.
12:50🔗
Yeah.
12:58🔗
Adam
All right. Okay, so anyway, get out of the deal. But here's what I would do as well. If you wanted to keep the gig, DeAndre. I would say the next time she jumps on me, if you do any of this, any shenanigans again, and you know what I'm talking about, I swear to Christ I will tell your parents as soon as they walk in the door. I will tell them everything. So if you do it again, I'll tell them. That's it. It's in your power.
13:53🔗
Yes?
14:07🔗
Caller
Well, okay, just so you don't know, I met him on the Internet, but just so you don't think this is a freak thing, I've always attracted older guys.
14:15🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, all 17- and 18-year-olds attract older guys. The question is, why are you attracted to them?
14:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, but why do you need that? You know what I mean? That means the verse is all about that symbolism.
14:39🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But it's the knowledge. You know, as opposed to being with a guy her age, 18 years old, the guy's been around the block. I know. You know, it is ridiculous.
14:51🔗
Drew
But listen, it is. And you're absolutely right. It is all about the power. And it's all built on a primitive fantasy that she needs that power in order to be okay with herself. And that takes away from the reality of the relationship. So they're just this dance built on this old stuff.
15:09🔗
Adam
Of course. Let's gamble on when dad left. All right? Let's just pick a time. Or you can go dad's still around. You got any money? Come on, baby.
15:36🔗
Adam
I just want to be a big shot. I was sitting there at a falafel. You know what I like about going to falafels?
15:44🔗
Adam
The food is good, but OK, I'm going to need one of those dollars. But the Middle Eastern folks, very abusive in terms of service. I'm like, when's the last time you heard one of these guys say, thank you, come again. He's like, what do you need?
16:05🔗
Adam
All right, hold on, I'm in the middle of my falafel store here, baby. Now you write a gamble, all of a sudden you got a gambling problem.
16:11🔗
Did you buy a falafel too?
16:21🔗
Adam
Yeah. What the hell, made me feel good. All right, where's my dollar? Don't I need a dollar? Can you put another one in for me? Okay, let's pick an age where Allie's dad left or went to prison or got killed or got divorced. When she, when he moved out of the house? You want to go first, Drew?
16:51🔗
Adam
He started working 85 hours a week or something. Marissa, you can go with us still around. Everything's fine. You don't, you know, she could just like older guys.
17:00🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I'm going to, I'm going to say that I don't think that it has much to do with that.
17:09🔗
Adam
She has no beef with dad in her life. No problem. Hey, see, Drew, so you can't go move down, you know, never know, knew her dad because she has to bond with him a little before he, before he takes off. You know what I'm saying? So I'm going seven.
17:24🔗
Drew
And you could make the case that he was around that, you know, late thirties or something. So where would that put her about seven?
17:37🔗
Caller
Okay. My dad is still around. But the thing is, I mean, recently he's been working a lot, but I can't remember much of my childhood.
17:51🔗
Caller
I don't know. I just don't remember anything from like ten under, except for like little itsy bitsy bits and pieces.
18:01🔗
Caller
Things like a daycare or that's pretty much all I remember is like one incident at a daycare or getting a shot. And that's all I remember. I don't remember much of anything about my childhood.
18:17🔗
Caller
Yeah, I do. And it's actually just come up in this past week that I don't remember much about my childhood.
19:05🔗
Caller
What's your, what's your, well, my mother actually gave me up. Oh, here we go. I remember when I was adopted. My mother gave me up for adoption at the time of my birth. My father didn't sign over his rights until like a month later.
19:22🔗
Adam
But it's interesting because you're 18 years old and you're not remembering your childhood before 10, which is a few years ago in the nineties.
19:34🔗
Adam
That's not like you're in your fifties and we're having to, you know, you went through a couple of wars or something.
20:03🔗
Adam
Aha. He said Bell North or East or West. That would have been a completely different story, but Bell South.
20:50🔗
Caller
And I'm not at all. I grew up around southern Baptist people and I'm pretty much a pagan. So I'm kind of like the family freak, Joe.
21:31🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I mean, it is, but what's the problem? I mean, if it's going okay and you guys are getting on, it's not illegal. No, barely.
21:42🔗
Yeah.
21:49🔗
Adam
All right. Match made in heaven. He'll die of prostate cancer in another four years, and you'll outlive him by 125 years.
22:17🔗
You're watching?
22:18🔗
Adam
That's why I worked it in. All right, let's take a break. Let's give Marissa the money. I bet she was adopted, which is in a way the ultimate both-parents-leaving kind of thing.
22:47🔗
Adam
Some Girls, right? Or Some Girl. There was a movie called Some Girls, I think, with Patrick Dempsey in it.
22:59🔗
Adam
We'll take a little break, then we'll get to that. Hey, The Man Show is on tonight, right? That's right. That's my other gig. That's my good show. You know how, you know, like, when there's twins, one of them's evil, and one of them's sweet as sugar? The Man Show, that's the sweet one. Whatever. That's the good one. The evil one is Loveline. That's Comedy Central. It's on right now. Yeah. All right, we'll take a little break, and then we'll come back.
23:25🔗
Caller
The National Football League and MBNA annually recognize teachers who have had a lasting and profound impact on their students. So profound that years later, NFL players remember the teachers who have influenced their life, making them a success both on and off the field. The NFL and MBNA congratulate those who educate the leaders of tomorrow. The NFL and MBNA, recognizing excellence among America's teachers. This message furnished by the National Football League.
24:02🔗
Loveline will be back in a minute.
24:29🔗
Adam
Nathan, it is the Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Marissa Ribisi is here tonight. I'm good. Want some cake? Honey, have some cake. Look at you. You're emaciated. Have some cake. She's doing a few shows. She's doing one called Grown Ups. And that's on UPN. That's Monday nights at 9 o'clock. And she also co-wrote a movie and is starring in it. Am I right?
25:03🔗
Adam
It's called Some Girl. And Giovanni Ribisi is her brother, who's a very talented actor, you know, from Saving Private Ryan and Friends. And he's just he's been in a whole. He was in The Mod Squad, right?
25:26🔗
Adam
Went the way I'm a Cale's naming. But they'll keep them coming. Don't worry. Once Hollywood has a proven recipe for failure, they'll keep them coming. That's the beauty of it. But anyway, Michael Rappaport is in it, who's done a whole bunch of movies, I guess, saw him first as. What the hell movie?
26:01🔗
Marissa Ribisi
He was on Friends, too. And Adam Goldberg is also in Some Girls. And he was on Friends.
26:12🔗
Adam
Oh, yes. Adam Goldberg was on. God, he looks stoned out there in that field. Juliet Lewis is in this, too, by the way. Which is. Now, so this is a movie you wrote.
26:28🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Yeah. And we went to the LA Film Festival and won an award there. And now it's coming out, the Lemleys in Santa Monica, Tuesday.
26:49🔗
Adam
But it's like, hey, there's some pretty decent size stars in this movie. A lot of young people, some up and coming, but some who have been around for a little while.
27:08🔗
Marissa Ribisi
So they kind of are. They're releasing it in small little way. And then, I don't know, Independence is going into a whole new thing now, the way they're buying and selling and all that stuff.
27:29🔗
Adam
Oh, I see. That's a name. I thought that was a name. All right. Where the hell are we? Lemmy was the name of the singer from Motorhead, I think. It was a different theater. Nick?
27:45🔗
Caller
Well, my, I'm absolutely infatuated with this girl. And she's kind of my cousin, but like not a blood relative.
28:03🔗
Adam
So is that really your cousin is just one of those people you think is your cousin growing up?
28:15🔗
Adam
So she's not really your cousin. She's just one of those people you think is your cousin growing up.
28:43🔗
She's just beautiful enough.
29:04🔗
Drew
So you're afraid that because she's a relative now, it wouldn't be right for you to go out with her? Have you asked your parents about that?
29:30🔗
Adam
Well, what are you going to do? Talk into his horn about this? Some chick you're excited about?
29:58🔗
Got a car.
30:10🔗
Adam
I know you're a little depressed. I'm ready to kill myself now, too. I don't know what your deal is. There's this chick. You like her. You've known her your whole life. She doesn't live that far away. Well, you have her phone number. Why don't you just call her up and ask her she wants to go out to lunch?
30:28🔗
Caller
An older 21-year-old cousin left with her, and I just found out. And at first I was like, cool, you're a man. But now I can't get it out of my head. I'm obsessed and I can't stop thinking about it. And now I'm all pissed at him.
30:54🔗
Adam
Now. Okay. But hey, Nick? Okay. Here's what's going on. You're 16. You have a lot of obsessive energy.
31:07🔗
Adam
You're very depressed and all of your... Here's the problem when you're depressed. You fixate on things. You get tunnel vision. And that is it. Because when you're busy and you're achieving and there's band practice and there's baseball practice and there's the speech and debate club and you're dating and there's tons of distractions going on, you don't have time to fixate. But when you're depressed and things aren't going well and you've had some tragedies in your life, you fixate. And he is fixating.
31:39🔗
Drew
The obsessions aren't going to go away even if you were to establish a relationship with this young lady.
31:48🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But we've all been there, like with the heartbreak thing and all that. You know what helps is go out on dates with other girls. Just get out there.
31:56🔗
Drew
But you notice when you suggest stuff like that to him, he goes, no, no, no, I have this other problem. He can't look at these things. He can't do it.
32:05🔗
Adam
As hard as it is, just ask other girls out. Try not to weave her into the conversation. Go out with other six-year-old girls who are happy to go out with you.
32:16🔗
Drew
When I was about, that's nice, 14, I was really depressed. I used to get obsessed with all kinds of weird stuff. And there was nothing, nothing in reality could have taken those obsessions away because those things were just too much of a mess.
32:33🔗
Drew
This isn't about heartbreak. He doesn't have a relationship with her. She's just somebody out there. It's just an obsession.
32:41🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But I think if she reached for him and she was just as much, he wouldn't be like that.
32:46🔗
Drew
He wouldn't be in the relationship. He would destroy it in some way. Yeah, he would. I promise.
32:50🔗
Adam
Yeah. So Nick, get some help and move on and find other women and leave your cousin and get a life and not to be crass about it. Get a life. And 18 year old women do not want to go out with 16 year olds. End of discussion. And unless they're me, that was different.
33:12🔗
Adam
No, it was a different type of 16 year old. I was the same kind of 18 year old as I was a 16 year old. But the thing about young people is their nature is to get sort of obsessed with things. And when I sit around and I...
33:27🔗
Adam
Yeah, you're sitting around, I'm watching Britney Spears or something, or the Backstreet Boys, and I think to myself, oh, who gives a rat's ass? And I realize it takes an obsessive fan base in order to make Britney Spears or whatever, whoever they are.
33:43🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But in a way, that's the beauty of that age, is everything is so influential and intense, and you look back on it, you're like, God, I'm so glad I'm not going through that anymore. But in a way, embrace it, you know? Because it's a learning time.
34:19🔗
Marissa Ribisi
You know, it's better than like telling him he's depressed and you're screwed and the whole other thing.
34:30🔗
Adam
Get another picture of her and put it up on the wall. Masturbate one more time a day to her. As if there's not just powdered milk coming out of you now. You do one more to her. All right.
34:44🔗
Adam
No, no, no. Okay. I would try to implement that plan when I was 16. Be like, I'm never gonna call her again. All right, it's been 15 minutes. Am I gonna move? I'm desperate now. All right, we're gonna take a break.
35:48🔗
Hello, this is Adam Goldberg, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
36:00🔗
Adam
Oh, now it's on, yeah. Marissa Ribisi is here. You know her from- Where do we know you from? Name some of the other stuff you've done.
36:37🔗
Adam
And Grown Ups, actually, is the name of Marissa's new show. That is UPN at 9 o'clock on Monday nights. And also, Some Girl, which is going to be out at the Limley, which is in Santa Monica. 7th, 8th and 9th of September. Go ahead, Drew.
36:54🔗
Drew
The one thing that the 70 shows, and all the 70 shows don't capture, though, is that there was just like a depression going on then. Like economically, everything was down. Nobody had jobs. There was no future. America sucked. It was just a general dark tone. Everything was just like, oh, we suck. I know.
37:19🔗
Marissa Ribisi
The scenes that we had, I had with Adam were all about that. You know, life sucks. The 70s were horrible. You know, they're horrible.
37:26🔗
Adam
Well, we just got done being, you know, getting our asses kicked in Vietnam pretty much. All of a sudden, this word pollution sort of came in. And it was like, the way, the prognosis was we're going to make it into 90, 91, maybe. The oil resources are going to be dried up. The sun's going to burn out. We'll have a greenhouse effect.
37:54🔗
Drew
Our cars are big, giant, big tanks that suck. And the Japanese are kicking our ass there. And then suddenly a bunch of hostages in Iran.
38:01🔗
Adam
Everything sucks. Yeah. And if you look at like anything from the 70s, like especially the mid or early 70s, any of these school films or whatever. I mean, when I close my eyes and I picture any film of the 70s, I picture that polluted river outside of the factory with the fish floating in it.
38:23🔗
Drew
It's like Michigan. It was like Michigan. It was one big smokestack with the Indian crying and we went to Pittsburgh about a year ago, you and I, and expected to see an image that we were used to.
38:35🔗
Adam
We were looking for the Indian who was crying. It turns out it was just a bunch of frat guys getting drunk and everyone was having a good time. Yeah, it's amazing. Everything was brown or orange. And then the films were like Coming Home and Deer Hunter and all these really serious browner.
38:56🔗
Adam
Yes, the type of film they used was not what they used in any Busby Berkeley film. Absolutely not. All right. So we all made it. Well, not you guys who are listening. Some of you more thankfully you weren't born, but your poor parents may have made it through the 70s. Shelly. Hi. You're 15. What's going on?
39:29🔗
What?
39:38🔗
Adam
People were dressing better and doing a lot of cocaine, make a lot of money on Wall Street.
39:45🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Well, all right. I like have acne like down there and I don't know what to do about it because it's not like you can put, you know, oxyten down there.
40:28🔗
Drew
Or in your case, it sounds like some of the glands in the area around the vagina or in the vagina are getting clogged, things like Bartholomew's glands.
40:40🔗
Drew
And sometimes it requires some antibiotics to get this to clear up. It's not acne. You can get it in the surface of your thigh. There's all kinds of different skin infections you can get down there.
40:59🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Well, it's like all over my back sometimes. But I mean, my face, it used to be really, really bad, but it stopped because I'm taking tetracycline or whatever.
41:09🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Yeah. And then it's weird. Every time I use an acne medication, it works for a month and then stops. I don't know why.
41:16🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Yeah. And every time they give me something, it works for a month and it stops. You know, I've used the creams. I've used that stuff in a little jar that you smear all over your face. It smells like, eww.
41:50🔗
Drew
She needs to get back to the dermatologist. You may need to see a gynecologist or just a general practitioner to have the sort of pelvic exam done to look at things, see what exactly is going on. Hot baths on time being hot, hot baths once a day.
42:03🔗
Adam
But Drew, you have somebody who has the acne on their back, on their face, is being treated for it. Now, don't you think maybe there could be some connection between that in that area?
42:25🔗
Adam
Some of the, if she didn't have any on her back, any on her face and wasn't prone to it, do you think she would still have that problem downstairs?
43:00🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Marissa, I just saw True Crime a couple days ago. Oh, cool. And I stood out and I made a point of watching the credits to see who you were and it was you.
43:16🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I have a question, but first, Adam, I wanted to tell you that I think it was a few weeks ago. You talked to someone who worked for the circus, who had been run over by the train.
43:35🔗
Marissa Ribisi
And you expressed some doubt about the circus even having trains anymore. And I worked for the circus.
43:43🔗
Marissa Ribisi
A friend of mine just told me about it. I didn't even hear it. But I lived on the train for a year last year for Ringling Brothers. I was...
43:54🔗
Adam
I don't know why it was thought that I expressed doubt. Well, or maybe it was just my tone, but anyway.
44:08🔗
Adam
That is the most boring thing in the world. But you know what? She was the bearded school teacher is what she didn't say.
44:17🔗
Adam
She was spinning around in that rope. Well, all right, we'll take a break and we'll get to back to about what they do to these horrible kids at the circus.
44:41🔗
Oh, yeah, right there.
44:54🔗
Adam
Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam and that's Drew. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout, and then we'll be back with more of the fabulous show in just 10 seconds.
45:20🔗
Adam
It is Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Marissa Ribisi is here. She has herself a new series on UPN called Grown Ups, starring her and the man once known as Urkel. Monday nights, nine o'clock, and also Some Girl, a movie that she stars in along with some other notables, some pretty good people. Her brother, right, your brother is in it, right?
45:52🔗
Adam
Giovanni and Michael Rappaport, who you all would recognize in a second, and Juliette Lewis, and a handful other people. And this is going to be at the Limley Theatre in Santa Monica, September 7th, 8th, and 9th. And then right to the Blockbuster.
46:09🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Right. So then you can rent it. And you know what? Hey, that's great. People are going to see it.
46:29🔗
Adam
X amount. I mean, the place, I mean, you know, they're so prevalent, these Blockbuster. I'm sure they're in every town and every city in this country.
46:39🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I know. And also you make a film and it doesn't sell. It's kind of like, why did you put all of your, everything into doing this project and people can't see it? So now I'm actually like excited just for people to see it.
46:52🔗
Adam
All right. I'll rent it. I never can figure out how the rental, movie rental thing works. I walk into one of these Blockbusters. It's, you know, it's in the middle of, you know, it's on the Wilshire and Robertson. It's a 7,500 square feet. Two people. There's two guys working there. The place is huge. And I'm thinking to myself, here's how they make money. I take this movie and for $2.59, I got to bring it back in two days.
47:16🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Right. That's how they make their money, man. I buy movies now because I never return them.
47:22🔗
Adam
I know it's based on people getting stoned and not bring it back because if everyone just brought everything back on time, I swear to God, the lease alone on these Blockbusters, I mean, they got to build them and then they're huge. And they're right in the middle of everywhere. And, you know, the real estate is prime and they got to be paying 20 grand a month just to lease the space. I mean, how many movies?
47:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. You got that Willie Ames Scott Baio movie. What the hell was that movie? Jinkster. What is the name of that movie?
48:06🔗
Adam
He has like some sort of mental powers that lift girl's skirts up, you know, is made in 1981. And it's in, you know, it gets, your car gets stolen and it's been in the, it's in the back of the car or something. And yeah, the movie is worth like, the movie cost $111 to make. And yeah, they want, that's what they need. Yeah, that's a killer. I should do that. Now that I have money, that's what I should do. And then just laugh like a mad man when I pay them off. Sorry, now I gotta think of the name of that movie. Carolla?
48:37🔗
Carolla's the teacher.
48:43🔗
Zapped, thank you.
48:46🔗
Adam
Yeah, I said Jinx. Yeah, I should have known. And Drew, are you kidding me? Jesus Christ.
48:59🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Okay. My question. A good friend of mine and I are both avid listeners of the show. In fact, he has turned around his whole life because of the show. I think.
49:11🔗
Drew
Do me a favor. Have him send something in to drdrew.com. I will get in touch with him, okay?
49:18🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Okay. Well, he just... Well, let me just go to my question. It'll kind of follow up from that, I think. All right. We're both adopted, and we're both adopted from birth, but we've noticed some similarities in our relationship patterns. It sort of basically revolves around an inability to establish and maintain long-term romantic relationships. But we were both adopted as, I was adopted as a baby at eight days old, but I haven't never had a relationship longer than a year. I'm sort of the preemptive strike queen. As soon as something seems like a little bit wrong, then pshh, goodbye. I was just wondering if there might be a connection. Those eight days that I wasn't anywhere was that lost time where I wasn't making a bond, where I decided I was alone in the world and there was no one for me and so on and so on.
50:11🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, the thing about being adopted is not only you have nature and nurture working against you. On one side, well, it's like, hey, you were adopted, you were torn away from your biological parents and blah, blah, blah and raised by people that weren't your parents, so you got that working against you. Then the other part is your parents are probably alcoholics or losers or...
50:35🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Explain to me the opposite way, whereas you're lucky because your parents who couldn't take care of you, loved you enough to give you up, and your parents who desperately wanted you, loved you so much.
50:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, sort of, although I always say they were too screwed up to raise you, not that they loved you too much to raise you themselves.
50:54🔗
Marissa Ribisi
I'm just wondering if there could possibly be a connection, if those eight days are so... I know that Dr. Drew says that that early time is so important.
51:03🔗
Drew
Yeah, but let's put it this way. There are plenty of kids that spend weeks on ventilators in ICUs, and all they get is their gloves touching them, and they turn out okay. So, it can contribute, yeah, I understand, but it can contribute, and again, as Adam was pointing out, maybe there's some genetic predisposition to this sort of thing anyway, some sort of insensitivity. But be that as it may, you wonder more about the quality of connection that you had with your parents early on anyway.
51:33🔗
Drew
Your adopted parents. And that there was something more chronic about the way you develop relationships going on.
51:39🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Well, I've listened to the show for a long time, and I don't believe I have any of the drastic...
51:43🔗
Drew
No, no, not drastic. I mean, look, you have relationships. You just are gun shy. You don't want to get hurt. You don't like being vulnerable, and you're vulnerable to a point, and then you bail out. And some of that may be based on reality. Guys are kind of screwy, and they can hurt you, and that's all right.
52:36🔗
Marissa Ribisi
It totally varies within the tour, but I had about 20 kids, and it was split into two classes, elementary and high school. I had...
52:45🔗
Adam
What do the circus kids do? With the flying wellinas, and they jump up on the elephants?
52:52🔗
Marissa Ribisi
The older ones were mostly performers there in the show, either trapeze or inline skaters or unicycle, and the younger ones were mostly children of performers or children of concessions people or children of backstage people.
53:08🔗
It's horrible.
53:15🔗
Marissa Ribisi
There's the whole group that have been in a circus family for hundreds of years.
53:19🔗
It goes back hundreds of years.
53:21🔗
Marissa Ribisi
The parents don't care about the education because they're just going to go into the circus life.
53:26🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, listen, they're from Hungary. What do they care? I know. And they're making more money doing this than they would be if the guy got his high school. Listen, here's what education is. Education is making a living. It's so you can make a living.
53:51🔗
Drew
You know, you can't... If you don't have an educated society, you should not be self-governing. You should have a monarchy.
53:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, but there's a difference between wisdom, experience, and education. And, you know, show me somebody who is intelligent and who does what they do well for a living, and I'm fine with that. I know plenty of people went to college and aren't that smart, and so they picked up a few tidbits. It's almost trivial. I mean, in a way, it's almost like, well, you might as well just know about sports or something. You know, it's like, what's the difference between knowing how many yards Roman Gabriel threw for in the 70s and knowing the year the Civil War started? If you really break it down, I mean, in an everyday sort of application. So I'd rather people just do something well. These kids grow up into this family. They fly around on the tramp. He's God bless him. And they're from Hungary. What do you want?
54:44🔗
Drew
I disagree because education should not be about learning facts. It should be learning process, how to think analytically, how to read well.
54:56🔗
Adam
We always talk about, you always tell me about how education teaches you how to think, but I never...
55:23🔗
Adam
Well, you can teach them to apply themselves and you can teach them to dedicate themselves.
55:33🔗
Adam
OK, but not off the air. OK, as long as we talk about cars. You promise we'll talk about cars?
55:42🔗
Yes. Hello?
55:45🔗
And I have a few questions.
55:52🔗
Well, you know, my ex-girlfriend's sister just gave me a call today. And you won't believe this, but...
56:01🔗
Yes. And she gave me a call, and she, you know, told me that my ex was diagnosed. Now, I swear to God, it's true. Gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes.
56:15🔗
Hat-trick.
56:17🔗
Well, you know, I don't know why she didn't call me herself or anything, or, and she knew about this when we were together. Now, this was about six or seven months ago, and I'm just finding out today.
56:31🔗
This, well, the diagnosis is, yes, it is an old diagnosis that she got a while ago, and as guess is, also now has just reoccurred, too, so.
56:49🔗
Drew
Because gonorrhea and syphilis are easily treated with antibiotics in the vast majority of cases with a single dose in most cases, in fact. And that's it, that's gone. And to have those two conditions recur in the same person, nope, uh-uh. Now, herpes obviously is a chronic condition that's gonna be recurrent, and you either got that or you didn't.
57:10🔗
Okay, I have not had any symptoms at all.
57:14🔗
Drew
It's possible that you have it even so, so you have to be careful and really practice safe sex techniques, but this story just doesn't hang together. What were the circumstances in which you broke up with your ex?
57:26🔗
She's kind of emotionally unstable.
57:37🔗
Well, one of the issues was she has a kid and I don't get along good with kids. Another issue was the maturity level was a little low. When we first met, it was a friend and I figured that's all we would be. It progressed to more and it bothered me too. I didn't really want to, but it just kind of occurred and it progressed to more. So what ended up happening was I kind of looked at our situation and there's a lot of different factors.
58:15🔗
Yeah.
58:23🔗
No.
58:25🔗
I don't like guys at all. Why are you asking that question?
58:34🔗
Drew
Well, you may not be fine. He should be checked. But, first of all, you're 22. You should know a little something about STDs and how they work.
58:45🔗
Drew
Secondly, the phone call is from the sister of the pissed off girlfriend. It's just, come on. She's just getting at him. By the way, you would be, you would be, the syphilis, you'd probably be contacted by the public health department. That really were the case.
58:56🔗
Adam
You would be. You mean if they treat someone with syphilis, they say who are your partners?
59:11🔗
Drew
And the herpes, and you shouldn't get herpes again. Like, oh, she just got herpes, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Come on.
59:16🔗
Adam
Okay, well, you're not dealing with a lot of education, as we were talking about before. They were educated in the circus, that's gotta be it. That's gotta look good on the resume. Where'd you go to high school? Circus. Oh, Phil, come here. Why don't you look at this resume? This is a good one. Angel?
59:37🔗
Caller
My wife just left me, and I don't know what to do. She left me with both our children, which the youngest is three and a half months, and the older one's two years old, and they're both girls. And I had all brothers, and well, basically, I'm not calling to find out how to raise them. Basically, what I'm calling for is to find out, would it be fair, since she's only been gone for three weeks, would it be fair for me to find a girlfriend now? Should I wait, like, a period of time or something?
1:00:10🔗
Adam
Sunday's Good Girlfriend Day. And if you can't find one Sunday, you get one Monday morning when they're fresh. You know, the girlfriend cart just went by?
1:00:22🔗
Caller
How do I find a girlfriend like now? Start looking. I haven't been looking. I just been here at home and just trying to keep my head up because I've been really depressed.
1:00:39🔗
Caller
Her third affair, we're getting our divorce. We've only been married three and a half months, but we've been together three and a half years.
1:00:47🔗
Adam
Listen. Angel, when I'm in charge, I will have women like that sterilized. Do you understand? She's obviously screwed up. Something horrible must have happened to her growing up.
1:01:01🔗
Marissa Ribisi
She had these three affairs, being pregnant too. I mean, didn't she just have a kid?
1:01:14🔗
Caller
I have them. She signed a divorce paper with no... I didn't have the kids with me. She hasn't seen them in three weeks.
1:01:25🔗
Caller
I told her that. It's kind of obvious. Something is totally wrong, because she just... No emotion.
1:01:33🔗
Caller
One of those... He's an alcoholic. He smokes pot, but he's one of those, I have an answer for everything, kind of retired veteran kind of guy.
1:01:42🔗
Drew
This could be a form of postpartum depression. I have seen some very bizarre behaviors and personality changes in women the first few months after pregnancy.
1:01:51🔗
Drew
And it's possible this is all related to that. There may not be a specific character logic issue. That's what you're digging into.
1:02:04🔗
Adam
I mean, as soon as I've moved out, you know, I think she's sort of snapped back a little.
1:02:14🔗
Drew
He's going to need it. But listen, this is an awful, awful situation. She needs a very careful evaluation. Three people, four people's lives depend on her getting appropriate medical care. Social services need to be contacted to make sure that he gets enough, whatever is available to help him out with this task of parenting.
1:02:36🔗
Adam
Don't worry. Jesus Christ. I just have these fantasies. I'm going to run for something one day. Oh yeah, really? I swear to Christ, I'm going to run for something.
1:02:51🔗
Adam
I was sitting on my sofa watching Nightline tonight or 2020 or one of these shows. They were talking about what's wrong with the social welfare system in New York. This one woman who had five kids killed one of them and it should have never happened. They were blaming the system and the kid fell through the cracks. Listen, as long as you have crack whores having five kids wanting to kill one of them, that's mama. Let's talk more about mama than the system. We're all supposed to kill ourselves because this bitch has five kids and decides to kill one of them. And it's a big problem because the system wasn't in place and what happened and what are we to do and who's to blame. I'll tell you who's to blame. Her dad. The chick who had the five kids and her dad. And the guys, the five guys who knocked her up. That's who's to blame, you idiots. And I swear to God, I'm gonna get up on that podium and I'm just gonna say, listen, you can talk about all the reform you want. I'm gonna nip every one of these goddamn problems in the butt.
1:03:55🔗
Marissa Ribisi
And that's one woman that they're bringing to our attention out of how many women live in Los Angeles?
1:04:02🔗
Marissa Ribisi
Millions, okay. So it's making this world seem a lot more dangerous than I think it actually is.
1:04:08🔗
Adam
Here's the problem. On the third kid, that's when you start sterilizing the crack whores. That's my policy, by the way. I'm gonna have a little pie chart. Let's see. Gypsies, they get six kids before I do. Homeless, four kids before I come in and sterilize. Let's see. Three kids. Let's go across here. Yes. Serial killers and crack whores. They get sterilized at three kids. Jesus Christ. Five kids. And, oh, the system. What happened to the system? What the hell are you supposed to do? You're living with five kids. You decide to kill one of them. Is that really the system? Or is it the bigger problem? You getting knocked up constantly. I'm going to put something in the water. You know, my plan.
1:05:00🔗
Adam
I'm going to put a sterilization agent in the following foods. Corn dogs. Because I don't want people eating corn dogs, raising kids. If you eat corn dogs, here's the deal with the corn dogs. By the way, you're either too young to have kids or you're retarded, right? Mountain Dew, Jolt.
1:05:25🔗
Adam
That Fruitopia. That stuff tastes like just fried hell. That's like a 10%. It's just all sap and syrup. Sunny Delight.
1:05:39🔗
Adam
Slim Jims. Those pork rind things. Things that have too many intestinal products in them.
1:05:56🔗
Adam
Because if you can't afford to suck some of that sparklet out of the bottle, I don't want you having kids. And what I'm going to do is... Now, if you want to eat one corn dog a year, that's not going to render you sterile.
1:06:15🔗
Adam
No problem. Everyone... Hey, you want to smoke a bong load and go on a munchy run? Fine. But if you eat X amount of corn dogs, or let's say you ate X amount of corn dogs, you washed it down with X amount of Mountain Dew or Sunny Delight, or another one of those, what I like to call them.
1:06:36🔗
Adam
Right. What I like to call, I refer to as nectar of the tards, this stuff. And a lot of these colas, these jolt ones, and these fast-paced sports drinks, things like drinks that are iridescent in their coloring.
1:06:54🔗
Adam
I will put a sterilization agent in all of these. And these people who consume enough of this will not be able to reproduce, and we will be living in a goddamn utopia inside of 10 years. I, don't believe me? Think, think about what the, think about the breed of cat that puts down a couple hundred gallons of Mountain Dew or Sunny Delight every year. You want that guy raising people? He can't even figure out what to put in his mouth. And that whole taste thing, you know, that they always work into. Hey, listen, don't judge this person. They like this movie. They like this drink. They like this food. Who are you to say? I'm telling you, they're retards. I am telling you, that end of discussion. Don't give me that clock. I'm on a roll, you ass, you see, sucker, please, please, the temerity with the clock. I'll clean this country up. But here's the way we clean it up. Sterilization, that's it. Forget about building prisons. Forget about welfare systems. Forget about what we're gonna do with all the, we can't do anything. Listen, if a crack whore has five kids, there's not a goddamn thing we can do with those five kids. Forget it.
1:08:07🔗
Adam
They're all going to jail. The chicks are getting knocked up and getting into prostitution. The guys are getting violent and going to jail. There's not a goddamn thing we can do about it.
1:08:19🔗
Adam
We gotta get at the nest. That's it. Do we want to run around chasing roaches our whole life? Or do we want to go for the nest? We go for the nest. That's what I'm running on. And believe me, anyone who wants to break this down into some sort of color thing or some sort of racist thing can kiss my ass. I don't care what color the roach is, I'm going for the nest. That's it. That's gonna be the policy. When we could clean it all up, I mean, prison population, welfare, unemployment, it all just magically go away. We could all sleep with our windows open at night. We'd leave our car keys right in the ignition when we left it in the parking lot.
1:09:09🔗
Adam
You get two 911 calls a year. Third, cops are coming over and they're putting a bullet in you. Right. I don't care if your granddaughter is getting raped. It's like, I hate to see her get raped over there, but it's the third call that just puts you down. Yeah, we don't have the cops babysitting everybody. Okay, we'll take a little break. We'll be back.
1:09:28🔗
Caller
When you look at their faces, you will see it loud and clear. Dedication, commitment, these are the qualities shared by everyone who has ever played or coached high school football. It's about working together and doing whatever it takes to earn a little respect. Most of all, it's about enjoying yourself, win or lose. The NFL is proud of all high school football players and coaches who give their all. While the kids get more than a few football thrills, it's even more important that they learn their share of life skills. High School Football, it's in all of us. This message furnished by the National Football League.
1:10:15🔗
Oh, you're right there.
1:10:23🔗
No.
1:10:24🔗
I met her when I was in the Marine Corps, and I lived with her for a few months, and she got pregnant.
1:10:38🔗
Right.
1:10:42🔗
There's no affection or there's nothing there.
1:10:47🔗
You know, we think, we thought that it would be best if we tried to, you know, do the parent thing, try to live together, sacrifice things.
1:10:55🔗
Adam
Okay. Well, listen, you paid your dues, you put in, what, six months, and it didn't work out. That's the best you could do. Alright, so listen, there's no passion.
1:11:09🔗
Adam
It doesn't sound like there's anything here. He didn't want to get her pregnant. He wasn't... He's not that interested in her.
1:11:16🔗
You know, and that's supposed to be like, so...
1:11:19🔗
He was on the depot.
1:11:20🔗
Adam
She was on the depot. Alright, that's gonna be another two years of therapy for the kid when he finds out about the depot.
1:11:29🔗
It's so hard because we just don't know what the best thing to do is.
1:11:37🔗
That's what I'm saying, and she's thinking, she doesn't want a divorce situation.
1:11:45🔗
Marissa Ribisi
It could be worse off for the child if you guys are not doing well living together.
1:11:51🔗
Well, we get along to a point, but there's...
1:11:54🔗
There's... I mean, what do you mean, what happens?
1:11:57🔗
Drew
Well, what do you say, we're not getting along is very elusive sort of......things that I like to do.
1:12:01🔗
For example, I like to play soccer, I like to go snowboarding, and I like to do this. And she's so tied up in work, but she works at, you know, she works at seven, she gets off at four. Her work's hectic, but...
1:12:22🔗
Drew
She works a short day, she's done at four, for crying out loud, be a dad, you have a child now.
1:12:29🔗
But snowboarding is like a once a month thing.
1:12:36🔗
Two hours on a Sunday.
1:12:40🔗
She gets a little mad. She's like, Oh, you want to go do this instead of raising your son.
1:12:46🔗
But I think I'm doing every normal day thing.
1:12:49🔗
Adam
Rick, Rick, you please stop me if I'm out of line here, but you're not really that interested in this woman. Right.
1:12:57🔗
Adam
And you're somewhat interested in the child. I mean, on paper, you'd like you don't want to be an abusive father and you like everything to work out. But it's like you're young, you're 24 years old, and you just kind of like to live your life.
1:13:12🔗
Adam
Right. OK. So you're sort of half committed. And the problem is, in this day and age, people do it all the time. It's not like you're you become a pariah or something. If you don't raise your kid.
1:13:28🔗
Adam
And you figure, OK, so I'll send her a couple hundred bucks a month. I'll see the kid on the weekends. And all right, you get to go snowboarding.
1:13:43🔗
Adam
OK. And it's not. And she is interested in Rick. And she's using the kid to sort of say, Yeah, listen, either you stick with me or you never see the kid again.
1:14:02🔗
Adam
God only knows if she was. She probably just took one of those Razor Nick Band-Aids and stuck it to her arm, you know, and claimed she was on depot. And she was interested in sort of getting pregnant and landing Rick and getting a husband. And Rick was like, Yeah, some bitch I'm dating. And she's good for a few laughs. And lo and behold, she's pregnant. So we ought to live together and try to do what's right. But he ain't in it. He's not interested in her. So he's got to try to be the best dad he can be. But I don't think they should live together if he ain't interested.
1:14:36🔗
Marissa Ribisi
No, no, no. And I think it has an effect on the child, too, if you guys aren't getting along.
1:14:41🔗
Adam
Right. True, do you have to throw the keys on to the console there? You couldn't set them on the console. You know, we've talked about, you know, with you and the incessant noise making, they have to actually toss the key. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, I have these discussions with Drew about doing radio sometimes. And, you know, so you take the key off your chain and you set it down on the console. But Drew actually is like, Drew actually tosses them on there.
1:15:11🔗
Adam
That's my point. You've lost your edge, brother. Drew said, here's how Drew sets his coffee mug down, by the way. He doesn't even begin. Like, if he was at your house, you'd be pissed. Quite down, would you?
1:15:24🔗
Adam
We're swapping cars tonight. I'll give you the key. You want to go joyriding with me tonight in the Drew Mobile?
1:15:36🔗
Right.
1:15:40🔗
Yes.
1:15:45🔗
Caller
Well, a few months ago, to be exact, April 24th, I was raped by a school friend. And at the time, my husband and I were trying to conceive. And I am pregnant now. And my due date is January 10th. And I'm trying to figure out the odds of this child being the, the rapist.
1:16:29🔗
Drew
I'm being somewhat facetious. The point is, if you were raped, you go to the emergency room, you get a forensic examination, they give you the morning after pill.
1:17:27🔗
Caller
When I was little, he was an alcoholic and my mother divorced him and I rarely saw him.
1:17:36🔗
Drew
Did you ever talk to your mom about that? Or did she ever say anything about that kind of thing?
1:17:40🔗
Caller
No. My mom and I don't have a really good relationship. An intimate, I guess, an intimate relationship. We don't talk very much.
1:17:59🔗
Caller
They were, well, he was fine. But when I became a teenager, he just, he tried to control me too much. It's kind of hard to explain. Like when I was younger, he would play with me and all that kind of stuff. But when I grew up, he changed.
1:18:37🔗
Adam
You got a lot of stuff going on. I mean, it was, I know people listen and they go, this poor girl's been raped and here you are coming down on her. But, and you were raped, but there's something we knew. And what's the first thing we said? When were you raped?
1:18:58🔗
Adam
And there's a serious pattern you got going here. And there's a lot of stuff to deal with. And it doesn't seem like you've dealt with a lot of it. Does it?
1:19:10🔗
Adam
And, you know, when you just have kids and you don't deal with it, then they just kind of deal with it.
1:19:22🔗
Adam
I don't know. Who knows? I mean, you're having sex with your husband and trying to conceive the same time this guy raped you, right?
1:19:58🔗
Adam
Yeah. And something also leads me to believe that you're looking for a little chaos with your husband if you really think about it.
1:20:06🔗
Drew
And even the question of what are the odds that that what exactly are the odds that this guy got me pregnant? He got me pregnant the week that matches the ninth, you know, the 45th week of my of my pregnancy. I wonder what the odds are.
1:20:21🔗
Marissa Ribisi
And what were you doing out with him instead of with your husband trying to, quote unquote, conceive?
1:20:32🔗
Caller
We've been together. I was 15. And we've been married for eight years since I was 20.
1:20:39🔗
Adam
And really? Oh, God. And do you feel like you're trying to insert a little chaos into this relationship?
1:21:04🔗
Adam
OK. Well, what is that, four years? How many? How long is that? Twenty one weeks, five months?
1:21:18🔗
Adam
I mean, I don't know what to tell you. You kind of knew what was going on in a certain way. And I mean, you really should have went to the hospital and you should have just got the morning after pill. After this guy raped, you should have reported him. You should have done all those things. And, you know, imagine if you're the husband, you're trying to conceive with your wife. She comes back. She's like, I was raped. What happened? You know, my buddy Bob, we're studying. Yeah, he raped me. Did you call the cops? No, no, I don't want to talk about it. It's kind of like, yeah, are you sure? Maybe just, were you just having sex with Bob?
1:22:03🔗
Adam
I swear to God, if I were a chick, I know it sounds pathetic, but I swear I would use that as an excuse. It's like, you know that model chick that lives down the street?
1:22:14🔗
Adam
Really? Let's not get the cops involved. Let's not get, you know that chick we had on Loveline the other night? That hot actress chick? Yeah, raped me after the show in the party. No, let's not get the police involved. Let's just pretend it didn't happen. We'll move on. Alright, I just want to take a shower and masturbate. I mean, just take a shower. We'll be back.
1:23:06🔗
Adam
Grownups, the appropriately named sitcom, is what she's in Monday Nights on UPN at 9 o'clock. And also Some Girl, which is going to be out for 10 minutes. And then it's going right to the local Blockbuster. After, I think September 14th is when it comes to that.
1:23:27🔗
Adam
And it's got Michael Rappaport, Juliette Lewis, Marissa, of course, Giovanni, your brother. It's got some pretty talented people who have been in some pretty cool movies. All right, Drew, where are we? Two?
1:23:43🔗
Caller
Yeah, my question is, well, my ex-girlfriend, she had this like twisted nipple type thing.
1:24:35🔗
Adam
Now I'm done. Oh, who cares? Well, what's it do? What's it look like? Let's say you put your hand on it.
1:24:42🔗
Adam
But then, and you could hold it in whatever shape you wanted, the shape that it was in, but then we'd make your hand invisible. What would that look like? Like let's say you took a normal nipple that was protruding and we put your invisible hand on it. What would you do with your invisible hand to make it look like hers?
1:25:08🔗
Adam
Two inches? Yeah. All right, let's not work with the units of measurements. Let's use, that's gonna be real confusing.
1:25:20🔗
Adam
Hold on, would you turn your hand a quarter turn, a half turn, three quarter turn, or a full turn?
1:25:34🔗
Adam
I don't know. Hey, you're not going to college, are you? I don't know, probably not. Okay, good. All right. So what are you going to do about it?
1:26:04🔗
Drew
It's very common for there to be normal asymmetry, that things are not exactly matching. There can be change in directionality, change in trajectory.
1:26:38🔗
Adam
Here we go. Let's keep pushing forward here, Drew. Let's not get bogged down. Jennifer?
1:26:44🔗
What?
1:26:47🔗
Caller
See, I have all these stress marks on my upper thighs, and I was just wondering what would cause it.
1:27:00🔗
Adam
Listen, by the way, I don't know, maybe it's me. Don't mind a stretch mark. Not at all. I don't mind one.
1:27:11🔗
Drew
Laser just sort of changes the color. It doesn't upgrade to the stretch mark. Once the elastin breaks down, that's it. It's broken down. And other than cutting them out, which they can do, you can cut them out. There really is actually no way to get a stretch mark.
1:27:26🔗
Marissa Ribisi
But most women have them. And when you first have them, are they kind of new or what? How long have you had them?
1:27:56🔗
Yeah, how we doing?
1:27:58🔗
Caller
Yeah. Hey, I was kind of wondering what they got out there for, like, you know, female birth control, but male birth control. I was wondering what's out there for that.
1:28:11🔗
Drew
Yeah. It's just you can't really do the same hormonal manipulations that you do with women. You can't give enough suppressive hormones to stop sperm production.
1:28:22🔗
Adam
I remember hearing something a couple of years ago about this, and they're always testing it out in Europe.
1:28:26🔗
Drew
There are all kinds of interesting ways to try to change the kind of sperm that's produced and the quality of how it's released and this kind of stuff, but nothing yet.
1:28:34🔗
Adam
And as long as, I mean, in a way, I think the person who can get pregnant is going to be the one who's going to want to use the birth control because it's their ass that's more on the line. And I mean, I think guys will use it and will want to use it, but ultimately, we don't trust the guys. I wouldn't trust them.
1:28:56🔗
Adam
They're lazy. They're horny. They'll lie. They're stupid. It's you. It's your uterus. It's your belly. And if you don't want to get pregnant, you really got to almost look after that. I don't want to sound like a caveman.
1:30:20🔗
Adam
No, some girl will be out in the Blockbuster starting tomorrow or in the next few weeks.
1:30:31🔗
Adam
I'm busted. All right, so until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:30:38🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management or the sponsors of this radio station. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Zingal. Now, please listen to this station longer.