Episode 1000754888964

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:01 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew. I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

1:07 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Just back from Oregon.

1:21 Drew Hmm, via Illinois.

1:22 Adam That's right. All right, tonight our guest is, well, it's most of the, it's a good looking part of the cast from That 70s Show. Laura P. Puse is here. Pre-Bon is here. Drew, you get an extra laugh out of that because it's a medical pun. Pre-Bon, Wilmer Valderrama and Topher Grace are all here, I should say. And these are people we've had on the TV and had on the radio. And I feel like we've raised them.

1:53 Drew Laura's new to us, right? I'm new.

1:54 Adam And we've never met before?

1:55 Drew Topher's been on the radio, Wilmer's been on the TV.

1:58 Yes, I'm actually a virgin when it comes to radio, you know, which it falls, I guess, in a very good place here in Loveline.

2:05 Adam Oh, yeah, to be a virgin. I was just watching Fox tonight, and they're running all kinds of promos about moving the show to Monday night, and how the show's Monday night, 8 o'clock, right?

2:21 Yeah, we've moved five times now. Fox has been saying, find the show. So we're totally excited to be moving again to Mondays at 8. But we think this might be the place where we stay, and we like being next to Ally McBeal.

2:36 Adam And doesn't that mean they have some confidence in you?

2:40 Yeah, no, I hope.

2:41 Drew You know, they become their building.

2:43 They're using us now as a launching show, because they're going to put a new show called Titus, and in like a month or so, so that's going to be red.

2:52 Adam Titus? Titus.

2:57 Yeah.

2:58 Adam All right, what's that about? Do you know?

3:00 No, you know what? We don't really want to plug that. We don't know. 8 o'clock on Monday starting the 7th and then on the 14th. Our two characters, Eric and Donna, finally consummate their relationship.

3:14 Drew Oh, that's going to be a good one.

3:15 It sweeps. Yeah.

3:17 Adam Is it?

3:18 It is now.

3:19 Adam Do we have sweeps in radio, Drew?

3:22 No.

3:22 Adam No.

3:23 All right.

3:23 Adam And what's it?

3:24 Drew I don't think they're really doing TV anymore either.

3:26 Adam Is this the?

3:26 Drew They're going away.

3:27 Yeah, they just make like new episodes of shows.

3:29 Adam This is second season, right? Or is it like second and a half? It feels like two and a half.

3:33 Drew Yeah.

3:33 Adam Did it start with a half and then go to a full?

3:36 No, actually. Our first season started. We actually just got picked up for two more seasons. We got picked up for a third and fourth season, which makes us very excited.

3:46 Yeah.

3:46 Adam Did they give you two seasons?

3:48 Yeah. Two more seasons.

3:49 Adam That's pretty rare, isn't it?

3:50 Yeah.

3:50 It's very rare. And that's just thanks to obviously the viewers who actually stuck with us when that time slide changed because it was a huge nightmare.

3:58 Adam Well, this show, at least in my casual recollection, was always successful. I mean, wasn't it?

4:07 Yeah. We were doing pretty well. We stuck with the same numbers and everything. And then when they rerun us during the summer, we did extremely well.

4:15 Yeah, people started to catch on and, you know.

4:17 Drew Yeah.

4:17 And so when we premiered for the second season, it was the surprise of the season. I mean, nobody saw us coming, really.

4:25 Drew It's interesting that... No, I just think it's interesting it's the 70s show tonight because my daughter has a new ice skating routine and it is to a famous 70s song. Rain Drops.

4:35 Adam Is that a song out of DeVita?

4:36 Drew Rain Drops keep falling on my head, okay? My wife and I were sort of looking at the words side and going, this just is awful. You know what played in my mind, Anderson? What I immediately thought of was your favorite song.

4:50 Adam It sounds a little like the theme to Taboo 2. Is it the same song?

5:03 Drew It is the same.

5:04 Adam It's my favorite porn movie.

5:07 We always, each week is looking back at like everything you guys did in the 70s and being like, oh my god.

5:13 What were you thinking? Everything was bad.

5:15 Drew The 70s was, the artics was bad, the music lyric was bad, the movies were bad.

5:18 Well the film was great, I mean, the film of the 70s was great.

5:20 Drew Everything was bad.

5:21 Come on, Jaws and Star Wars.

5:23 Adam The movies were good, the film itself was bad.

5:25 Right, exactly.

5:27 Adam Everything was brown and orange.

5:29 We had to watch reruns of All in the Family because we did this fantasy for All in the Family and just watching it, like, it was just so weird. It was all like fuzzy and like just the whole, the colors in there was just like crazy.

5:43 Adam For some reason...

5:44 Drew It was the singular most awful period of history. Why would we be revisiting it? I mean, I'm glad you guys haven't success with it, but it's so amazing to me. We are making something of that decade.

5:54 What's really interesting about the show is that there's a lot of like retro-specific, time-specific stuff, and we've really tried to make it about kind of timeless issues, so even though it is about the 70s, we very rarely have to think about it except when we have to put on the tight pants.

6:11 Adam Right. It's about relationships, like the one that Peter Frampton had with his hair in 1975. Larry?

6:20 Yeah.

6:21 Adam You're 19.

6:22 Caller Yeah. I think I have a problem with chronic bad breath, but I'm not sure.

6:26 Adam Yeah. Has someone told you?

6:30 Caller No, just kind of from the way it feels.

6:32 Caller Occasionally someone will be like, you know, put in a piece of gum or something, bro.

6:36 Drew Oh, nice.

6:38 Adam Do you have a girlfriend?

6:40 Caller No.

6:41 No commitment.

6:42 Adam Sure. Who's going to commit to that? Hey, do you guys ever get it, like three times a year, I get a whiff of my own breath? Like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I just get a little... You ever do that? You ever get a taste of yourself?

6:57 Caller Of course.

6:57 Adam Drew, you know what I'm saying? Like, you don't taste your own breath.

7:01 Drew When you say you taste yourself, I get that.

7:06 It's the stuff right there.

7:07 Adam Yes. If I can hit the Tumblr just right.

7:10 Caller No.

7:11 Adam You know what I'm talking about? Like, once in a while, I don't know, you wake up in the morning or something, you're just sitting around and you go, wow, man, that seems bad. Boy, I got to live with that.

7:23 Caller Sometimes you don't notice, you know what I mean? Because I eat a lot of pizza and stuff that has a lot of garlic and everything, and you get used to the sense.

7:34 Drew The bad smell.

7:35 Caller Yeah, so you kind of lose the sense of it, and then you kind of get used to it and you adapt to it, and then you just go home and my mom always says, yike.

7:46 Yes.

7:47 Drew I want to hear what his mom says.

7:50 Caller Yikes.

7:52 Drew Larry, here's the deal. There are indeed things about what you eat, obviously, that can temporarily change your breath, and the contents of your stomach sometimes can. Thus, that popular was the stuff that George Kennedy was peddling for a while, the breath-assure. But really, it's stuff, it's bacteria in the back of the tongue that causes the bad, chronic bad smell, and the dentists now have these special blades and things you can, brushes you can pull back there, and they can actually measure the gases produced by those bacteria if you want to go through all that. So at least look into getting the brushes that hit the back of the throat there.

8:21 Adam Well go to a dentist, right, and just check it out.

8:24 Drew It's a pretty simple deal.

8:25 Adam Thank God you're not revolted by your own smells. You know what kind of torture that would be?

8:30 Drew By the way, Adam.

8:31 Adam You know how bad it is when someone else's breath is bad, or someone breaks wind, or just whatever comes out of somebody else? Imagine if you experienced that on yourself. It'd be a living hell this life.

8:41 Drew You'd have to shower every day.

8:43 Adam Oh, the humanity.

8:45 Caller You're right.

8:46 Adam Drew, excellent point.

8:48 Drew Hey, there finally has been a breakthrough in dentistry. I found in an airport, there's an automatic tooth flosser, and it actually works. As God as my witness.

8:57 Adam It's a small Vietnamese woman.

8:59 Drew Yeah. I'm a fan, yes.

9:01 Adam No, seriously, how does an automatic tooth flosser work?

9:04 Drew It's a little, it's one of these sonic devices, and it just gets in real, it's like you just boom, boom, boom, boom.

9:08 Adam And what do you do with it? You buy it?

9:10 Drew Yeah, I'll show you. They're awesome.

9:12 Adam All right, how much? 30 bucks. 30 bucks?

9:14 Drew No problem.

9:15 Adam Carlos?

9:16 Yeah.

9:17 Adam You're 18, what's up?

9:18 Caller Okay, I have this really serious problem. I have known this girl for like the longest time. Me and her family have been friends for like ever. And two weeks ago, the family went out and I was needing to go home, you know, whatever, her dad gave me a ride home. I started noticing since we got into the car, he started making passes at me. And we went, we know, he said, hey, you want to go catch a movie? And I was like, yeah, you know, sure, fine. And we went to the...

9:46 Drew What is your famous...

9:48 Adam Oh, the famous gay line? Yeah. You want to get high? That's the gay line.

9:54 Caller Okay.

9:55 Adam All right. No, I'm just telling you, that's...

9:58 Drew So we didn't say that, so we don't know for sure that he was making a pass.

10:01 Caller No, I mean, and we went to see the movie or whatever, and after the movie, we eventually ended up having sex. Now, my question is, how do I tell her? I mean, this was two weeks ago.

10:16 Drew You knew you were gay?

10:18 Caller I guess, yeah, I think so. I mean, I've got...

10:20 Drew Is this the first guy you've had sex with?

10:22 Caller Yeah.

10:23 Drew Oh boy. And how old is this guy?

10:25 Caller He's like 33.

10:27 Drew Were you ever abused when you were younger?

10:29 Caller No. No, I had a very good childhood.

10:31 Adam This is your friend's dad?

10:33 Caller Yeah. I mean, me and Herbert had been friends, like, for the longest time.

10:36 Adam How old is she?

10:37 Caller Huh? She's 17.

10:39 Adam All right. So he's kind of young for dad, isn't he?

10:42 Drew 16 when he had her?

10:43 Caller Huh?

10:44 Drew He was 16 when he had her?

10:45 Caller I believe so, yeah. Her parents got married very early because of a arranged marriage within our culture.

10:51 Drew What's your culture?

10:52 Caller We're Jewish-Mexican, we're Messianic-Jews. And marriages are arranged. And now, I mean, I can't even stand to be in the same room. I mean, it would totally be absurd just to say, you know, I have sex with your dad.

11:06 Drew Yeah, I don't think you should tell her. I don't think it's a good thing. Is he still married to the mom?

11:10 Caller I can't, I can't just keep it.

11:12 Drew Hang on, hold on.

11:13 Adam Is your mom Jewish?

11:15 Caller Yeah.

11:16 Adam She's going to have a heart attack. I was going to say, if she's maxing, you might get away with it, but she's Jewish, that's it.

11:22 Caller I mean, the fact that, I mean, we're Jewish, I mean, that's how it just puts homosexuality out. Hold on, hold on. In Latin, I mean, that just totally throws out the window, too.

11:31 Drew Hold on here. So, did you suspect you were gay?

11:34 Caller Um, I guess when I was, you know, like, 15, I had my Bar Mitzvah, you know, I would look at guys differently, but...

11:42 Drew At 15 when you had a Bar Mitzvah? You had your Bar Mitzvah at 15?

11:45 Adam He failed a couple of grants. I didn't think he was a man at 13.

11:49 Drew Why at 15?

11:50 Adam That was the Mexican part. They were lazy. They didn't get around to it. He was the only guy who had a pinata at the Bar Mitzvah.

11:57 Caller Filled with silver dollars.

11:58 It was huge.

12:00 Adam Pancho Villa theme.

12:01 It was great.

12:04 Drew You have to break the tip off.

12:09 Adam That's excellent. Did you really have a Bar Mitzvah at 15?

12:15 Caller Yeah. I mean, it took time to get the Hebrew down because I already had Polish, Spanish, and English.

12:19 Drew That happens.

12:20 Adam But you don't start learning the Hebrew at 13 and a half, do you? Yeah.

12:25 Caller Dude, but come on. I mean, you're already handling two languages.

12:27 Drew How can you?

12:29 Adam That makes a third one easier. Come on. I don't speak any languages.

12:32 Drew Hebrew is a romance language.

12:34 Adam It's true. Ladies love Hebrew.

12:36 Drew But anyway, it's close enough.

12:39 Caller I should go on about, I mean, I can't keep this to myself.

12:42 Drew Well, you're not going to tell the, well, is he still married to your friend's mom?

12:46 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, they're like.

12:47 Drew Oh, boy. Are you close with clergy or anybody you can talk to about this?

12:52 Caller I don't think I could even talk to my family because they're very, they're very, I guess, I'm a little bit.

12:56 Adam Do you like him?

12:59 Caller I guess I'm attracted to him physically.

13:01 Drew I understand how you, you sort of victimized you. I don't understand how that could have happened if you had never been sort of abused in some fashion.

13:09 Adam No, I mean, Bar Mitzvah at 15 is a form of abuse.

13:14 Caller I was, no, I was never abused. I had a very good childhood, I mean, a very healthy one.

13:18 Drew That's fine. And by the way, I am certainly not calling it a question of your sexual identity, but I'm calling it a question of why you have such poor boundaries and why this guy would be able to sort of take advantage of you, really.

13:29 Adam All right. Well, I think he was attracted to him. It's not like he's a man in his 50s, he's 33. Still relatively young. All right. So Carlos, what's your last name?

13:40 Wittenberg?

13:43 Caller That's Spielberg, no.

13:44 Drew No, I think you need to talk to clergy or professionals, some professionals.

13:47 Adam Let about just forget about the whole thing and move on. Can you do that?

13:51 Caller I don't, I mean, I don't know. I can't be in the same room with that same person.

13:55 Drew That guy, with the guy.

13:56 Adam Well, because you like him or because it's weird or why?

13:58 Caller It's just weird. I mean.

14:00 Drew Then don't be in the same room with him.

14:01 Caller I can't do that. Our families are best friends.

14:04 Adam Oh, geez. You're going to, the Jewish party used to go into college, right?

14:09 Caller Huh?

14:09 Adam Isn't the Jewish half of you going off to college somewhere?

14:12 Caller Yeah.

14:13 Adam All right, well go away to college.

14:15 Drew And then, well, that's not a bad piece of advice. And then there's mental health services there. Always get a therapist, talk to them. And just talk this through.

14:22 Adam You know, it's weird when you're young. You guys are young, I'll give you a hint. It's weird when you're around, you know, socially with people you've had sex with. It's kind of like, oh, look at that. You know, it's just weird. Every conversation's weird. Everything's weird.

14:35 Drew Doesn't it seem like it's weirder for you?

14:36 Then you get older, you don't care.

14:38 Adam It's like, you're like a Christmas party. Yeah, it banged her and it banged her. This guy over here, he banged my wife and then I was banging his daughter. And hey, let's raise a toast.

14:48 Drew Don't you think for young folks, don't you think it's weirder for the guys? They seem much more entitled. Women seem to be a little easier with things.

14:57 Adam I don't know. I think it's tough on both. But I think it's something you definitely get used to. And as you make a transition, your transition into adulthood, maybe this next bar mitzvah at 30, he'll be comfortable with this premise. But I wouldn't go over the guy's place. He doesn't have to go over there.

15:14 Drew He's going to college, you're right.

15:15 All right.

15:17 Adam Jamie?

15:18 Hi.

15:18 Adam You're 19.

15:19 Caller Yes, I am.

15:20 Adam What's up?

15:21 Caller Well, first of all, I want to say, you guys are awesome.

15:24 Caller Oh, thanks.

15:25 Totally awesome.

15:26 Caller Who are you talking to?

15:28 Oh, shit.

15:30 Caller Okay.

15:31 My question is, all right.

15:32 Adam We'll just pretend it's both of us. I mean all of us, sir.

15:36 Caller All right.

15:37 Adam Go ahead.

15:37 Caller My question is, I wanted to know if you can gain weight by swallowing semen.

15:43 Adam No, but it's nice to try. I really appreciate a woman who tries.

15:48 Drew There's about 14 calories per dose.

15:54 Adam Yeah.

15:55 Caller Okay. Are you guys pulling my leg or what?

15:56 Drew No, I'm dead serious.

15:58 Caller Seriously?

15:58 Drew Yes.

15:59 Caller 14 calories per what?

16:01 Drew Per episode.

16:03 Per episode.

16:06 Caller Swallow 18 gallons of semen.

16:07 It's still-

16:08 Drew 18 gallons.

16:09 Caller Oh, that's funny.

16:11 Caller I'm exaggerating, but I-

16:12 Adam Well, yeah. I'd be over the course of a couple of weeks when it's not once sitting.

16:18 Drew It's like usually it's what, three tablespoons or something? Something like that.

16:21 Adam Three tablespoons?

16:22 Drew Two tablespoons.

16:23 Adam That's ambitious.

16:24 Drew Two to three tablespoons and that's- Yeah, you're right. It's like two tablespoons.

16:29 Adam I wank, I was like a bird crapped on my belly. That's all that comes out. Like a parakeet took a dump on my belly. That's what it looks like.

16:37 Drew You usually have powder.

16:39 Adam Come on. That's the third or fourth is when the powder comes out of there. Three tablespoons.

16:46 Drew That's kind of vitamins. How many tablespoons in a gallon?

16:49 Adam Two tablespoons.

16:50 Drew How many tablespoons in a gallon? That's what I'm trying to figure out.

16:52 Adam I don't know, a couple hundred or something. I don't know.

16:55 Drew I suppose a 10cc.

16:56 Adam Tablespoon is, 10cc is the amount that's supposed to come out of you.

17:00 Drew That's one tablespoon.

17:02 Adam One tablespoon is 10? Alright, so one table spoon.

17:05 Drew Two teaspoons, that's right, I was going to screw up.

17:08 Adam Hey, Jamie, how much of this are you swallowing?

17:11 Caller Oh no, no, no, no, no. I just have a friend and she's sitting right next to me.

17:15 Caller You don't have a friend.

17:16 Caller But she was just wondering because, I don't know, I guess she doesn't spit, she swallows. But she was too embarrassed to call you and so I had to do it for her.

17:26 Drew All right, it's about 14 calories.

17:27 Caller Okay.

17:28 Caller Maybe I could get her.

17:30 Adam I mean, what is it like, you know, I mean, less than like a corn or peanut or something, right?

17:36 Drew Yeah.

17:37 Adam All right, Jamie.

17:38 Caller Okay.

17:38 Adam All right, tell her she's fine.

17:39 Caller All right.

17:40 Adam All right. Drew, how many calories are you going to tell your daughter, Seaman, hasn't it?

17:44 Drew 4,800 per gram.

17:47 Adam Very good.

17:48 Caller It's interesting because I had this friend in high school, and she, you know, I don't know, I guess she was a little dumb. She, she kept saying to me, yeah, you know, I swallow because it's good for my hair and my skin.

18:00 Adam Oh, yeah. She means it's good not to get on her hair. They're either going in her mouth or on her hair.

18:06 Caller So I asked her who said that to her. Oh, my, you know, my friend. And it's your friend, a male.

18:10 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

18:13 Adam I tell the ladies gets rid of cellulite. Use that and loofah. Get rid of that stuff.

18:21 Sarah. Yes.

18:23 Adam You're 30.

18:23 Caller Yeah.

18:24 Adam What's up?

18:25 Caller Um, someone who I talked with recently told me that he was just diagnosed with chlamydia.

18:33 Adam Did she say talked with?

18:34 Drew Slept with.

18:35 Adam Oh, slept with. Yeah. Yeah.

18:38 Caller And.

18:39 Drew You mean he got this from you?

18:40 Caller That's what he says.

18:42 Drew OK.

18:42 Caller And I don't have any symptoms, which I guess is not uncommon.

18:47 Drew The significant majority of people with chlamydia have no symptoms.

18:50 Caller OK.

18:51 Drew Women. Women.

18:52 Caller And so my question is, how long could I have had this without knowing?

18:57 Drew Long time. And that's how it does its damage is it smolders and causes damage to the tubes.

19:02 Caller OK. So if I am having like regular pap smears, though, would that have been detected in a pap smear?

19:10 Drew They should have picked it up.

19:11 Caller OK.

19:11 Drew But not necessarily.

19:13 Adam What do they pick up? Do they pick up the chlamydia or whatever damage it's caused?

19:16 Drew You have to test for chlamydia, but you should have picked up the inflammation or something going on that would cause you to test. It makes you wonder whether or not he was A, properly diagnosed or B, whether or not he had been exposed to somebody else. But, be that as it may, you should be treated.

19:31 Right.

19:32 Caller So if, if, when they run this test, can they tell how, like, let's say I've had it for six months.

19:38 Drew Can't tell.

19:39 Caller So they can't tell what kind of damage has been done.

19:41 Adam Well, they can tell what kind of damage has been done.

19:43 Drew They can do that. They don't know how long it took to do it, right? Yeah. And it's actually, it's actually pretty involved to do that. It's not something they would normally do.

19:52 Adam Check the damage?

19:52 Drew You have to have a, probably a laparoscopy and a hystereosalpingogram and that's all stuff they do when fertility time comes around.

19:59 Caller Yeah, but only if I, only if I was planning on...

20:01 Drew If you're having trouble with fertility, then they would start looking around.

20:04 Adam But what about it? If you think you've had chlamydia, you don't know how long, it could have been years. Shouldn't they, shouldn't you do those tests?

20:12 Drew Well, it's an interesting question. I don't know what the standard of care is for gynecologists because if indeed she's had it, she would be at risk for ectopic pregnancies. And sometimes doing this dye procedure where they inject dye into the uterus and the tubes will open the tubes up. So it might make them function better. So again, she needs to sit down and discuss this with her gynecologist.

20:31 Adam All right, Sarah.

20:32 Drew And it does need, it needs to be a gynecologist, okay?

20:34 Caller So just not my internist.

20:36 Drew I think it might be a gynecologist because he, internist should be about where I'm at with it, which is GIA, in terms of what the state of the art is with this immediately. That would be a gynecologic question.

20:46 Adam Justin.

20:47 Caller Yeah.

20:47 Adam You're 19.

20:48 Drew Yeah.

20:48 Adam What's up?

20:49 Caller I just got through. That's pretty cool, huh?

20:51 Adam Yeah, we're elated. Yeah.

20:54 Drew Justin, we're proud of you.

20:55 Caller Yeah.

20:56 Drew Yeah. Well, how's it going? I guess we gotta go to break now, don't we?

21:01 Caller Yeah, what are you doing on Monday nights, dude? At eight o'clock. At eight o'clock.

21:05 Adam Justin, you watch that 70s show? Yep.

21:07 Caller All right.

21:08 Adam You're gonna watch tomorrow night? Yep.

21:10 Caller Okay.

21:11 Adam You have a question?

21:12 Caller Actually, I don't. I just wanted to get through to see if I could.

21:15 Adam Okay. Okay.

21:16 Caller Congratulations, man.

21:18 Adam Anything you want to talk about or that's it?

21:20 Drew Asshole. No.

21:22 Okay.

21:24 Adam Hi, Justin. Listen, I appreciate your candor. I gotta say something about our callers. Our callers are some of the most forthright callers in radio. I mean, they call up all time and they go, yeah, you know the question it says on the screen? That's not my real question. I just told that to the screener. Here's my real question.

21:46 Drew We actually appreciate that.

21:48 Adam Yeah. And then we talk to them. We don't really discipline the honest ones.

21:51 Drew No, right.

21:52 Adam This guy.

21:53 Drew Well, as long as they're...

21:55 Adam But he could have whipped up some BS and we could have talked to him for three minutes. Instead, he just wanted to say hi.

22:01 Caller That's fine.

22:02 Caller We're going to break.

22:03 Adam Gabrielle, you're 21.

22:05 Caller Hi.

22:07 Adam You smoked weird pot.

22:08 Caller Yeah.

22:09 Adam You think it was laced with coke?

22:11 Caller Well, I was asking my friend who smoked it with me if anything weird happened because I didn't stay with him. I left and went somewhere else.

22:17 Adam Right.

22:17 Caller And this other guy was there and he was like talking to me about it and like saying all this stuff. And then he said that it might have been laced with something else.

22:25 Adam Okay. And you're trying to figure out what it is?

22:28 Caller Yeah.

22:28 Caller And like if it would have any effect on me or anything.

22:31 Caller All right.

22:32 Adam You want to go to break through?

22:33 Caller Yeah.

22:33 Adam I don't know. This is kind of boring. You want to just answer it?

22:35 Caller All right.

22:35 Drew What were the effects? I have a lot of questions.

22:37 Adam What were the effects?

22:38 Drew I don't know.

22:39 Caller My heart was beating all funny and it was just like, it was like no high I've ever had before.

22:44 Drew Well, that can happen just with marijuana. People can get panic attacks and very, very strange reactions sometimes.

22:49 Caller Okay.

22:50 Drew And those sometimes don't stop. They'll keep coming. So be careful. All right.

22:55 Adam All right. Well, there's really whether it was Coke or Speed or whatever it was.

23:00 Drew It's a typical pot thing because they have the heart racing and the very funny feelings and jumpiness and all of it. Cocaine is a different thing, a different feeling.

23:10 Adam It is. You remember that from college when you used to free-base a lot?

23:13 Caller Yeah.

23:15 Drew We call it the free-base then.

23:17 Adam Okay. I understand. That 70s Show. We have a guest from that 70s Show here tonight. We're going to take a little break and then we're going to be back with a really interesting provocative call after this.

23:34 We'll be right back with more Loveline.

23:37 This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

24:03 Adam Yep, the dates are Loveline and Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, Laura Prepon is here, also Wilmer Valderrama and Topher Grace. All from that 70s show. Monday night, it's eight o'clock on the fabulous Fox, which is, boy, I'd say it's really football and Malcolm in the middle and God knows, Simpsons and all that good stuff. It really is. Ali McBeal. There's just one Fox. There's just one Fox. It's really making quite a surge here in the last couple of years. And the Family Guy show I enjoy. That's on Fox, too, right? Yeah. What the hell's that on?

24:41 Caller Well, not right now.

24:42 Caller They're coming back later.

24:43 Drew Thursdays?

24:44 Adam Drew, didn't we do a voiceover for that?

24:46 Caller Yeah, we did.

24:47 Adam What happened to that?

24:48 Drew Then I met somebody's mom who worked in that office in, like, Illinois somewhere. Is that weird?

24:54 Adam It's weird to you, but to the callers, it's boring and or confusing.

24:57 Drew I'm talking to you, I'm talking to everybody.

24:59 Adam Okay. I'm sorry.

25:00 Caller Mila, who plays Jackie on our show, is the voice of the daughter on that show. And we're on an eight. I'm on eight.

25:12 Adam?

25:13 Adam Adam?

25:14 Hi.

25:14 Adam Hey. You're 13. What's up?

25:17 Caller I was wondering if penis growth can be affected by masturbation?

25:22 Drew No.

25:23 Adam Well, temporarily.

25:24 Drew Okay.

25:26 Adam It can grow, right?

25:28 Drew Temporarily.

25:29 Adam Right. And then it gets, you know, then it goes back, yeah. Seriously?

25:32 Drew No, Adam, no, no, no, no, no. No.

25:34 Adam Well, what do you think? In a good way or a bad way? What are you looking for?

25:38 Caller A bad way.

25:39 Drew No, no problem.

25:40 You're all right.

25:41 Caller Okay, thanks.

25:42 Yeah.

25:42 Adam I'll see you in hell.

25:45 All right? All right. All right.

25:49 Drew Adam is going to have a throwing down there.

25:52 Adam I'll be conducting seminars. I'll be doing time share seminars from hell. Adam, you're 13. How often you're going at yourself?

26:03 Caller Like a few times a week.

26:05 Adam Oh, that's all right. Don't worry, that'll spin out of control in just a few short months.

26:10 13.

26:12 Adam Wow. I didn't start until I was 16 years old. I've been... Wait a minute. Listen, Anderson, you're lucky I squeezed one off before I came out here tonight. Otherwise, I might not be able to control myself. I have a lovian response when I hear the Taboo 2 theme. All right. Jennifer? Yeah. You're 16.

26:38 Caller Yeah, I am.

26:40 Adam What's going on, Jennifer?

26:41 Caller Well, I got to break the horniness down here. So, I just want to say hi to everyone and...

26:47 Adam I don't know what she said. What did you say there, Jennifer?

26:49 Caller I'm sorry.

26:50 Drew What's your question?

26:50 Caller Okay, I've been depressed lately. I have a history of bipolar disorder in my family. And my mom has it, and my grandma, and everyone has it. And I've been on Prozac and everything but the hard, like lithium and all that junk. And I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing.

27:17 Drew To be honest?

27:19 Caller What?

27:20 Drew Are you doing the right thing to be on medication like that?

27:22 Caller Yeah, it's making me like a zombie. I can't function. I mean, I write, I do poetry all the time and I can't even do that. I can't do schoolwork. I just, I'm bored.

27:32 Drew That's not the Prozac.

27:34 Adam What is that?

27:35 Drew That's her underlying depression.

27:37 Adam Oh, it is?

27:37 Drew Yeah.

27:38 Adam Well, she's on Prozac and you're not on Lithium.

27:41 Drew She's not anything else. And have you been doing by talking to the doctor who would prescribe this?

27:46 Caller Um, the doctor is Chinese. I can't understand a damn word he says.

27:51 Drew Is he a psychiatrist?

27:53 Yeah, he's a psychiatrist.

27:54 Caller All he does is just write stuff and he's like, all right, let's try this.

27:57 Drew Well, you need to go back there and talk to him about how you're feeling because this is not, not okay.

28:02 Caller It really pisses me off because I've been about 10 of them and I mean, I can't do anything.

28:08 Drew It's not the medicine. It's not the medicine. It's the bipolar illness.

28:14 Caller So I do have that.

28:16 Adam You do have what?

28:17 Drew Well, they're treating you, right?

28:19 Caller They're not treating me. They just don't have depression and to work out of it, you know, get sunshine and I do that.

28:28 Drew Jennifer, look, all we know is that you have a profound genetic history in your family for disturbances of mood.

28:34 Adam Well, also when you're raised by depressed people, you get depressed too. I mean, even if it's not a genetic thing.

28:40 Drew It's true, but they all have bipolar and bipolar does seem to be genetically carried whether or not you're raised by the folks or not. At this point, you're manifesting the depressed piece. Whether or not you'll ever actually have the manic part remains to be seen, but for now, this depression sounds rather profound.

28:57 Caller Right now, I can't eat anything.

28:59 Drew Yeah, it needs to be treated, Jennifer. Plus, I bet you've been at a psychiatric hospital, have you?

29:05 Caller No.

29:06 Caller Have they talked to you?

29:07 Caller My mom, she is totally brainwashed. And she has it, and she denies it.

29:14 Drew Yeah.

29:14 Caller Oh boy.

29:16 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

29:17 Caller And so she's just, she's like, you baby, you can handle it, you know?

29:20 Caller Yeah.

29:21 Adam So she's not, she's not, she's not taking any medication or anything, your mom?

29:25 Caller My mom, yeah, she takes some Serizone to sleep, but that's what it, in the end of the day, she, I don't know, she's really different. She has mood swings and.

29:32 Drew Well, Serizone is a pretty powerful medicine, but again, if you have mood, stability problems, I understand, but she should be on mood stabilizers. That works so much better than just antidepressants with this disorder. All right.

29:43 Adam Talk, talk to your doctor and use, use an interpreter or something. Or figure out someone.

29:48 Drew Or change doctor, get somewhere, get some help.

29:49 Adam You will take Fosack, round eye. All right. Hey, Jennifer, listen, I feel bad for you. I really do, but most 16 year olds are depressed at one time or another.

30:01 Caller I'm, I'm, I'm so sad all the time.

30:03 Adam All right. Well, don't do it, but, well, I guess all the time isn't that bad, because it means...

30:08 Drew Jennifer, do you come on to drdrew.com or something?

30:11 Caller Do I do what?

30:12 Drew Do you use the web at all?

30:14 Caller Yeah, I go to your website all the time. I love you guys. I love Adam. He's a sweetie. Okay.

30:18 Adam I ain't on the web.

30:20 Caller I know, but I love you.

30:21 Drew Oh, okay. But have we been chatting with you?

30:23 Adam She is depressed.

30:24 She needs medication.

30:25 Caller I love you.

30:26 Drew Jennifer, have we been chatting with you a little bit, months and a while?

30:30 Caller No. No, I don't.

30:32 Drew Go into our chat rooms. There's a lot of support in there for people, stuff like...

30:34 Caller There's never anyone in there, so I just leave.

30:36 Drew Well, check it out. Go in there. There's usually some people in there.

30:39 Adam For a while, there's no anyone in there.

30:41 Drew There's usually people in there. I've never gone in there with not anybody in there.

30:44 Adam You've never been in there. Come on.

30:45 Drew I go in every day.

30:46 Adam Every day?

30:47 Drew Every day.

30:47 Adam Just to collect the money and then you leave?

30:48 Drew I go in every day. But there's a bunch of kids just like Jennifer that get support from those chats. So in fact, she sounds exactly like someone I was talking to last night.

30:58 Adam Macy?

30:59 Yeah?

31:00 Adam Were your pants up? You're 17 years old.

31:03 Caller My phone just died.

31:04 Drew I'm sorry, I got the clown outfit on.

31:07 Adam What's up there?

31:08 Caller I'm sorry, I'm a bit excited because I didn't know who your guests were going to be until I got on.

31:12 Adam Do you like that 70's show?

31:14 Caller I love that show.

31:15 All right, cool.

31:16 Caller Thank you.

31:16 Adam Tomorrow night.

31:18 Caller Hi, how are you doing sweetie?

31:19 Caller Hi, you're a hottie.

31:20 Caller Oh wow, you hear that Laura?

31:23 Caller I hear that baby.

31:24 Caller You understand what she said?

31:25 Caller Yes, I do.

31:25 Caller Okay, keep that in mind. Every day we go to work, okay?

31:28 Caller I'll try to.

31:28 Caller That's wonderful.

31:29 Caller Okay. My question is... My name is Topher. My question is about my best friend.

31:38 Caller I'm sorry.

31:40 Caller I'm sorry.

31:41 Caller Thank you.

31:41 Caller Go ahead, hottie.

31:42 Drew Your best friend.

31:43 Caller Yeah, my best friend recently got a boyfriend and now she really doesn't talk to me at all, like ever. All right.

31:52 Adam That happens every day. You're fine.

31:54 Drew That's what people do at your age.

31:55 Adam Drew, we're going to take... What, are we going to get another call like this?

31:58 Drew Listen, look at that.

31:59 Adam Teenage angst line, she's been on 56 minutes. She's been on hold.

32:03 Drew You would have started yelling me about that.

32:04 Adam Oh, you know I don't care about people anymore. I don't care. I keep my grandmother on hold for a year. John?

32:13 Caller Yeah.

32:13 Adam You're 25.

32:14 Caller What's up?

32:16 Caller I don't know, man. It's more for the doc over there.

32:19 Drew Yeah.

32:19 Caller I was kind of screwing around with my wife the other night and was fingering her and pulled my hand out and kind of... because something looked like cottage cheese all caked around my fingers. Yeah.

32:31 Adam Hey, John?

32:32 Caller Yeah.

32:32 Adam Where did you go to finishing school? You have a way with words.

32:36 Drew Are you really 25?

32:39 Adam Really?

32:40 Drew Yep.

32:41 Adam He's all class.

32:43 Drew Do people talk about their wives that way?

32:45 Adam About fingering their wives?

32:46 Caller That's what I'm waiting for, you know.

32:49 Adam All right. Hey, don't cuss, John, you idiot. Okay. Please.

32:52 Drew John, yeast infection.

32:54 Caller Oh, yeah?

32:54 Drew That's what that is, yes. Yeast infection.

32:56 Caller Okay.

32:57 Drew So get her some over-the-counter yeast medicine.

32:59 Caller All right.

32:59 Drew Monistat, something like that, that'll take care of it.

33:01 Adam What were you doing feeling around in there after you were married anyway?

33:05 Caller It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime things, you know?

33:08 Adam Yeah.

33:08 Caller Once a year?

33:09 Adam All right. I think women like that. I'm not a big fan of that, you know, that to me it's like getting something out of the disposal. You know what I mean?

33:19 Caller Hey, you don't want to be messing around with that.

33:20 Adam You got a good idea of what's down in there, but you're not quite sure. You don't know what's left over from last time. You know when you got to go into disposal, you always get the feeling, you think, well, listen, I know it's just some turn on. Oh, yes, that has happened. Bend a spoon.

33:43 Caller All right.

33:45 Adam Selma?

33:46 Caller Yeah?

33:47 Adam You're 19. What's up?

33:48 Caller Adam, first of all, I like to say I love you and I'm saving my virginity for you.

33:52 Caller Good. Me too.

33:57 Caller And you guys from that 70's show, I love your show. It's getting better and better.

34:02 Caller If you had to choose between Lee and Milmer, who's a hottie?

34:04 Caller Who would you?

34:05 Caller Who do you think's a hottie?

34:07 Guest Who do I think is a hottie?

34:08 Caller On the show, yeah.

34:09 Guest Are you the really tall guy?

34:13 Caller Okay, I think you're really hot.

34:15 Caller Thank you.

34:16 Caller Yeah, you just seem without a shirt.

34:17 Caller You look totally hot in the Teen Choice Awards, in your little Calvin Klein.

34:20 Caller Okay, that was Ashton.

34:22 Guest Oh, God, you are so hot.

34:24 Caller Okay.

34:26 Caller Thank you.

34:27 Caller So for the record, you're saying Topher Grace is the hot one?

34:30 Guest Who?

34:30 Caller In that 70's show?

34:32 Adam Yeah, just say yes.

34:33 Caller Oh, my God.

34:33 Adam No.

34:34 Caller I know their character names. I don't know their real names.

34:37 Drew Geez, we're coming around to the Teen Choice Awards again.

34:40 Caller No, we're not.

34:40 Drew I swear to God.

34:41 Adam No, we're not.

34:41 Drew It's been about a year.

34:42 Caller I'll look forward to it.

34:43 Adam Selma?

34:44 Caller Uh-huh.

34:44 Adam What's up?

34:45 Caller Okay. My teacher, she just left to Los Angeles over the weekend. I'm so nervous. You could probably hear me shaking, but okay, she said that she told her husband that she was going to meet with some friends and they're just like going to have some drinks and like just go to a strip joint or whatever. But she met a guy over the Internet and she's going to meet him there. And I don't know if I should tell him that, tell him.

35:15 Adam How old's your sister?

35:17 Caller She's 24 and she has one child.

35:19 Adam How long has she been married?

35:21 Caller Three years.

35:22 Adam How do you know she met a guy over the Internet?

35:24 Caller Because she tells me everything and she shows me the pictures of him.

35:28 Adam She's going out to LA to rendezvous with this guy?

35:31 Caller To do more. To do more, actually.

35:32 Drew Has she always been sort of troubled?

35:34 Adam Has she met him before?

35:35 Caller No.

35:36 Adam Where are you calling from?

35:37 Guest Sacramento.

35:38 Adam And, yeah, has she always been a little chaotic?

35:41 Caller No, she's always liked boys, though. Like, since she was 13.

35:45 Adam Yeah, but is there...

35:46 Drew Lacking boys means she has difficulty staying with one.

35:49 Caller No, not... Well, yeah, she likes to experiment, but that's just her Sagittarius side.

35:53 Drew Can you stop? Listen, just...

35:55 Adam Listen, you retard.

35:57 Caller No!

35:58 Adam The Sagittarius side. It's a big... a crock of crap. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know these people, it's like they study the signs, they go...

36:06 Guest Oh, please, I want to just like...

36:07 Caller You need to learn how to manipulate a situation so you get a lot of knowledge.

36:11 Adam Listen, quiet down over there. Hey, like, first off, like, it makes a difference what month you were born in.

36:16 Guest It does.

36:17 Adam You know what I mean?

36:18 Caller Like, you're born in the Year of the Dragon.

36:20 Caller You're really chaotic.

36:21 Caller You attract a lot of, like...

36:24 Drew Adam?

36:25 Caller Yeah.

36:26 Drew That could be farther from the truth.

36:27 Caller I think Drew is a Virgo.

36:29 Guest You act like a Virgo.

36:30 Adam Drew is a Virgo?

36:31 Caller Oh, my God.

36:33 Adam Oh, well, you looked it up on some Internet thing or something.

36:37 Caller I plan on visiting your website, Drew.

36:39 Drew Thank you.

36:40 Caller But, you know, I haven't had time.

36:42 Adam All right.

36:43 Caller All right.

36:43 Adam Drew is a Virgo. What is that?

36:46 Caller They like to think that everybody is proper and well educated. So, he doesn't, that's why he doesn't, he's not very opinionated on sex and, like, he doesn't like to grope at the girls when they're on the show.

36:57 Caller All right.

36:58 Adam Well, I'm a Gemini. What does that make me?

37:00 Caller That makes you, they say that you guys are the most intelligent of all this.

37:04 Adam Oh, finally. She's talking sense here. No, listen, I know this is nonsense.

37:10 Caller Mr. Moonshine is gorgio, so that makes you overly sexual.

37:14 Caller No.

37:15 Adam Since it's whacking off a lot, make you overly sexual? And listen, this whole, like, you're Gemini, you have two personalities. Drew, I have half of one personality, right? Barely a half. I have like a third of a personality. I don't have two.

37:29 Drew Somebody stole the other one and a half.

37:31 Adam That's right. There's some goddamn Gemini out there with three and a half personalities. All right. Listen, you're nuts and your sister's a little wacky too. Now, what happened to you two?

37:44 Caller I just like to help people.

37:45 Adam What happened? Where's dad?

37:47 Guest My dad's a preacher.

37:50 Adam Now, all bets are off. Did he do anything weird to either one of you?

37:54 Guest No.

37:54 Drew No, no, no.

37:55 Guest My dad's really cool.

37:55 Adam All right.

37:56 Caller Don't talk about daddy.

37:58 Adam Okay.

38:01 Caller How about mommy?

38:05 Adam What's mommy doing?

38:06 Caller What's mommy doing?

38:07 Caller Mommy's like a homemaker.

38:10 Adam Okay. Now, again, your sister, is her husband ever cheated on her? Is she paying him back for something?

38:15 Caller No, not at all.

38:16 Drew Is he not available in the way she needs him?

38:19 Caller I think that they're kind of both looking for different things in a relationship. That's what I think.

38:23 Drew They're married with a kid. They're married with a kid.

38:28 Adam Hold on a second. Here's all we're saying. When a woman who's 23, she just got married pretty much, she just has a new child, and she's getting on a plane and heading out to LA to bang around with some guys she met on the internet, that smacks of something wrong in a big way. That goes against nature. It really does for a woman, especially a young woman, especially just married, especially with a young child.

38:57 Drew The young child piece is where it's also hard.

38:59 Adam So something's really broken in her. Now, maybe if the guy's being abusive, maybe if some good looking guy blows into town and they're having some drinks or something, but not getting on a plane heading from Sacramento to LA to hook up with some fantasy man on the internet. I mean, something is really wrong with her.

39:18 Drew Yes, or this relationship. Like profoundly disturbed. Right.

39:22 Adam And Selma wants to rant around, but I think Selma, why don't you just talk to your sister?

39:28 Caller I have.

39:29 Adam And why don't you really convince her? What is she? What is her sign? She said Terri.

39:35 Guest It's like Drew's wife.

39:36 Adam Is that like sign of the drunken whore? What is that? I'm not familiar with those.

39:40 Caller They're very experimental.

39:42 Adam Okay. Tell her experiment in the lab. She's got a kid. You understand?

39:49 Caller Yeah.

39:49 Adam What's her kid's name?

39:52 Guest Mildred.

39:54 Adam That's not her kid's name. Listen, goofball.

39:59 Caller I'm not going to say her name over the radio.

40:01 Adam Well, I want you to repeat her kid's name over and over to her when you're talking to her.

40:05 Guest Oh, crud. Okay, guilt trip.

40:07 Adam All right.

40:07 Caller Yeah, quick guilt trip.

40:08 Drew How about just making a little up to her responsibility?

40:10 Adam You two are both nutty. I know it.

40:12 Caller I am not nutty.

40:13 Caller Am I nutty? Because I love you so much.

40:15 Adam Oh, wait a minute.

40:15 Drew That's nutty. It's not about your defense. You rationalize everything. We say something about your sister and you have an explanation for it.

40:25 Adam Yeah.

40:25 Drew You're not a clinically trained person.

40:26 Adam Yeah, she was born in March. She's allowed to go chase a penis all over the country Kid Rotz back in Sacramento. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this.

40:46 This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

41:14 Caller It's Loveline.

41:15 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That's V. Dr. Drew over there. Warren G is gonna be in here tomorrow night. He'll be glad to hear my new white rap name, Mayonnaise.

41:27 That's my Maymay Mayonnaise.

41:30 Adam Snoop Dogg knows who to call Mayonnaise. I'll have him call me Mayonnaise throughout the evening, Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Our guests tonight are from That 70s Show, Monday Nights, 8 o'clock on The Fabulous Fox. Laura Prepon is here, Wilmer Valderrama and Topher Grace, all from the good looking young portion of the cast. Drew, you'll be glad to know that I won a small victory for all people that are upset about the gift certificates today. I want every year.

42:06 Drew Well, California, you can't do that, right?

42:09 Adam They can't expire, right? Yes, people don't know that. But I have a big beef with the gift certificates because A, I don't like the idea that you can spend 100 bucks for a gift certificate and then it can expire in a year when the company still has 400 franchises. That doesn't make sense to me. Then there's a part about they will not give you the change. If you've got $100 gift certificate, you can't spend 95 bucks. They don't give you the five bucks back.

42:35 Caller You go buy a $5 gift certificate.

42:37 Adam They just credit it or something, but you got to go buy another CD and then plop down another 12 bucks to use up that gift certificate. So each year, the fabulous producers of Loveline, Stone Stanley give us a gift certificate to Barneys of New York, which is bizarre because I would never, I didn't even know a place existed. To me, nothing, there's Montgomery Wards, there's JC. Penney's, then Sears and that's when it stops, and maybe May Company, but I don't get any higher than May Company. There's Bullocks, Broadway, Saks Fifth Avenue, and if you keep going, you'll get to Barneys of New York. I was at Barneys in New York two years ago. They get us one of these every year, and a guy was wearing a leather jacket. He worked there. He said, You like this, Jacks? Yeah, that's nice. I might look into that because I felt like I had a $500 or $1,000 gift certificate. I was like, How much is that, Jack? $3,700.

43:35 Caller Are you nuts?

43:36 Adam You're working here. How much are they paying you? So I went down to the outlet, Barneys of New York out in Camarillo today because you spend $800 in gas, but you save $145 out at the outlet store. I charged, I got it up. I had a $1,000 gift certificate. I got it up to $987.24.

44:04 Drew Did you do that on purpose?

44:05 Adam No, but just just random. And they said, All right, you got $12.26 to play with. And I said, Nope, I'll be taking that in cash. And they said, Oh, no, we don't do that. And I said, Oh, yes, you do. And they said, No, we don't. And I said, Listen, you got $1,000. I spent $987.24 of it. That's it. I want my 12, God damn 26. No, I'll tell you what you do. You go buy two pair of socks for $7 each pair. And then you give us, you know, $1.50. And I said, No, no, here's your options. You either find me something that's $12.26 exactly, or I want my money. And they're like, we don't do that. And I said, Yes, you do. I pick up that phone and call corporate headquarters or whatever. I got on the phone with the person. It took me an hour, but they gave me the cash. Oh, wow. Yes. Yes. What a victory. A victory for all the little people who shop at Barneys of New York.

45:07 Drew How did that go down?

45:08 Adam It went down. It went down, which is, I just told them no F in way. No way. Somebody spent $1,000. They gave you $1,000. I want my $12.26. I don't give a rat's ass about your policy. And if you give me a hard time, I will talk to these people who probably spend $20,000 on gift certificates every year. That is Stone Stanley. And I will convince them to order them. I will order them. Thank you, Drew, not to give this out. And then they won't. I'll talk to them. And I'll make it painful. And they said, take the money.

45:42 Caller Yeah, that really hurts for them. We'll guess what you just said right there.

45:47 Caller Actually, this really hurts them because it's a nationally syndicated show.

45:50 Drew Yeah, thanks for mentioning their name, too.

45:53 Adam They gave me the money. I have no qualm with them anymore. And I felt good about myself. I really did. Melanie, you're 18.

46:03 Caller Yeah.

46:03 Adam What's up?

46:05 Caller Yeah, I heard that if I pierced my clit, it would make me orgasm faster. But it's not. It's like having reverse effects. So I can't orgasm anymore.

46:17 Adam Who did it? You had a professional do it?

46:20 Caller Yeah.

46:20 Drew And who did you believe that told you that?

46:24 Caller Well, my friend Tara got it done.

46:26 Adam Yeah.

46:26 Caller So she said it was good. And so I was like, okay, cool. So I tried it.

46:31 Drew And most we ever hear is that it heightens it for a little while and then makes it worse.

46:35 Caller Oh, really? Could it have like long-term bad effects? Like when I'm like 40 and I can't orgasm?

46:41 Drew We don't know. I doubt it.

46:43 Adam Who did it? I mean, was it a guy or a girl?

46:45 Caller It was a guy.

46:46 Adam Wow. How does that work? At 18 as a girl, you pull into some, you know, head shop, some bald guy has a checkerboard tattooed on his head, you know.

46:55 Drew And you're dragging around his neck.

46:56 Adam Yeah. And he's, you know, got like beads in his shlong and he just spread eagle there in the back room while he's working on your clitoris.

47:05 Caller Yeah.

47:07 Caller He told me to think of him as a gynecologist because I was all nervous.

47:11 Drew He went to at least 12 years of training. That's good.

47:14 Adam Look at me as a gynecologist who rides a moped, lives at home and smokes while he works.

47:21 Drew That's like misrepresentation almost.

47:24 Adam Yeah. Okay. I'm going to use that line. All the ladies. Ladies, calm down. Think of me as a gynecologist. Now hold still.

47:35 Caller So, I don't know. Should I take it out or?

47:38 Adam Think of my penis as a tampon. That's the line I'm going to use.

47:42 Drew I would hope you would take it out.

47:45 Caller No, you did it because you thought it was going to feel better or?

47:50 Caller Yeah. And it did for like, I don't know, a while.

47:54 Drew Yeah, then it gets worse. That's what we typically hear.

47:55 Caller Well, how long has your friend had it? Does she still have the good effects from it or is hers going bad too?

48:00 Caller Well, she took it out like a long time ago and she put it in occasionally, but I don't know why the hole there.

48:05 Caller For the look.

48:07 Adam Take it out.

48:08 Drew For the look.

48:08 Adam Thanksgiving, Easter, when family comes to town.

48:11 Drew Of course.

48:12 Caller All right.

48:12 Adam Get rid of it, you screwball. What the hell's wrong with everybody? All right, we're going to have a guest from that 70s show tonight. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be back after this.

48:28 This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

48:51 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. We're gonna take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

48:57 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:02 Outrageous talk radio, 100.7 The Buzz, KQBZ, Seattle.

49:12 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Warren G will be in here tomorrow night. Tonight, we have Laura Prepon, Wilmer Valderrama and Topher Grace, all from That 70s Show, 8 o'clock, Monday nights on Fox. And that'll be before Ally McBeal. And then, then when, then she do a half show or something, or she does like a 15-minute show that's on at some other time.

49:37 Caller I don't know if that's really on anymore. That was before us on Tuesdays.

49:41 Adam They don't have that anymore.

49:42 Caller I don't know.

49:43 Caller But, but it's, yeah, it's us. And then a rerun of us and then Ally McBeal for an hour.

49:47 Caller Right, right. Yeah.

49:48 Adam So you guys are doing 8 to 8.30 and then 8.39 and then the Ally McBeals. All right.

49:56 Caller Bill. Yeah.

49:58 Adam You're 14. What's up?

49:59 Drew Okay.

49:59 Caller I've got like this weird, like fungus stuff on my foreskin.

50:04 Adam Yeah.

50:04 Caller Okay. It's like, it's, I don't know.

50:06 Drew It's actually a name for that.

50:08 Caller It doesn't have a texture though.

50:09 Adam What is it?

50:10 Caller Huh?

50:11 Caller It's like, it's like, it's not even a fungus.

50:13 Guest I don't think.

50:13 Drew It's a little cheesy.

50:15 No, it doesn't have a texture at all.

50:17 Caller It's just like, it's just there.

50:19 Guest It kind of looks like scar tissue, but it's not.

50:20 Adam Listen, everything has a texture.

50:22 Drew Yeah.

50:22 No, no, no.

50:22 Caller It's like my skin.

50:24 Guest It's just like, it's on the inside of my foreskin. So if I like peel it back, it's there.

50:28 Drew It doesn't peel off the stuff? No, no, no.

50:31 Adam And you couldn't get it, if you took a Q-tip and wiped it on it, would it come off on the Q-tip?

50:35 Guest No, no, no.

50:36 Caller It's like my skin.

50:37 Drew Well, it's your skin then.

50:39 Caller It is?

50:39 Adam Well, it's as if your skin is discolored?

50:42 Caller Um, sort of.

50:43 Guest Like, it's kind of got like, it's like, it comes in patches and it, like, seems to be spreading a little bit.

50:49 Drew You may, somebody would have to look at it, Bill. I have no idea.

50:52 Adam Does it smell funny?

50:53 Guest Uh, no. It doesn't have, like, I don't feel it.

50:56 Drew I wouldn't worry about it, but it would have to be looked at to understand what it is you're talking about. Probably nothing.

51:01 Guest All right.

51:01 Drew Okay?

51:02 Guest All right, thanks.

51:03 Caller All right, you guys rule.

51:04 Adam All right. Listen, if I'm going to have some markings on my penis, I want them to be black, so it seems bigger. White markings are bad, right?

51:12 Caller Sure.

51:13 Adam We've established that. JR?

51:15 Yeah.

51:15 Adam You're 16?

51:17 Caller Yeah.

51:17 Adam What's up?

51:20 Caller Well, I've been like wanting to go out with girls now, so I'll meet this girl and I'll talk to her for like a day or two on the phone and stuff. Then it seems like after those two days, she just don't like me after the first day because she'll like me at the first day and want to go out with me, but then she won't after the two days I talked to her.

51:44 Drew You're 16.

51:45 Caller It's like I was wondering what am I doing wrong? My friends tell me I'm too nice and stuff.

51:53 Caller Well, do you act differently when you're around the girl?

51:56 Caller No, I act the same normal.

51:58 Drew Do you actually go out with anybody?

51:59 Caller Huh?

52:00 Drew Do you actually go out with them? Anybody?

52:02 Caller I've been out with a couple of girls.

52:05 Drew When you go out, is it like they ask you what we're going to do? And you say, I don't know, what do you want to do? Is one of those sorts of things?

52:12 Caller It's like when you go out, just like boyfriend, girlfriend, kids make out.

52:18 Adam What's going on in the background?

52:22 Caller My friends listen to the radio.

52:23 Adam Alright, tell them to turn it down.

52:25 Caller Turn it down, dude.

52:26 Adam I like guys who call their friends dude. I like when people know people's names and still call them dude. I like when guys call girls dude.

52:33 Guest You ever see that?

52:35 Adam That means you smoke a ton of weed.

52:37 Caller I call girls dude, too.

52:38 Adam You do?

52:39 Drew Yeah.

52:40 Adam You smoke a lot of weed?

52:42 Caller No.

52:42 Adam Come on, seriously.

52:44 Caller Seriously, I don't.

52:44 Adam You smoke some?

52:46 Caller A little.

52:47 Drew Alright. Every day?

52:48 Caller Yeah.

52:50 Drew You smoke some?

52:54 Adam Hey, it's important. Let me give a quick tip to all our listeners. Anytime you lie, whether it's about drug use or maybe someone accused you of cheating or on a test or on your girlfriend or boyfriend, important not to make that stone kind of grunt noise. Like, like, you know, come at, Drew, come at me with any, any, any question that I might want to lie about.

53:16 Drew Uh, have you had sex with a man?

53:23 Adam No. You see that? You see how it seems like you're lying? Well, whatever the question is. Were you planning on killing the president? It's always bad. Yeah. Like when you're at the, let's say you're at the airport and they ask you, is, is anyone, if the bag's been out of your sight, did anyone ask you to carry any packages on the plane? See? It always seems like you're lying no matter what the question is. All right. So, I don't know. Too nice maybe means just talks too much or something.

54:01 Drew Too nice usually means sort of a sign of lack of esteem and clinginess and things that particularly young women are just not into.

54:10 Adam Yeah.

54:10 Drew And you need to find a way to make yourself feel more worthwhile. Take care of your own crap.

54:16 Adam Laura, what does that turn you off when a guy just does too much he happened?

54:23 Caller I don't know. I mean, nice guys, that's cool. But it's usually just a thing a girl says when she doesn't want to go out with you.

54:28 Adam Right. And I think women like nice guys.

54:32 Caller You know, like us, most girls do.

54:34 Adam Women like nice guys that don't have to be nice. They just are nice guys. But they're not nice in a compensation sort of way. Yeah.

54:43 Caller It also depends, I guess.

54:44 Adam That's good radio, by the way, when you make that face.

54:48 Caller I'm used to having the camera.

54:49 Adam I don't know.

54:50 Caller I'm getting...

54:51 Adam No, I know. It takes a while to get acclimated. OK. Another hour or so. By the time Lycus comes on, it's... I'll be ready then. Five o'clock? No problem.

55:01 Caller All right.

55:02 Adam Where are we? Amanda? You're 24.

55:07 Caller Yes.

55:07 Caller What's up?

55:09 Caller I'm addicted to Stadol nasal spray.

55:13 Adam Yeah? What's that do for you?

55:14 Caller It's a tranquilizer. I suffer from migraine.

55:18 Drew Okay. Amanda, Stadol is a profound opiate.

55:21 Caller Oh, I know that.

55:22 Drew And it is... you are essentially addicted to heroin here.

55:25 Caller I know. What happened?

55:26 Drew It's an addiction I've treated.

55:28 Adam What do you mean essentially addicted to heroin?

55:29 Drew Well, people love to think about codeine or Vicodin or Percocet or Stadol as something different. Somehow, if you use the word heroin, they're like, no, no, no way. It's not that... Well, opiates are opiates are opiates and they're all the same and they all have a profound addiction.

55:45 Caller Well, what happened is that a month after my daughter was born, I don't know what... They didn't know what happened to me. I had a sudden onset of extreme head pain, which I was rushed to the hospital and they thought I was having an aneurysm. And they gave me morphine because I was in that much pain and did a CT and a spinal tap and everything and everything came out clear. And so they sent me home and then two days later it happened again. And then for about five weeks, it happened every other day, a couple of times a day. And my doctor put me on imitrex injections and it stayed on news because I was going into shock because the pain was so excruciating.

56:31 Drew By the way, there's no such thing as shock from pain, but that's okay.

56:34 Adam You won't, all right, you don't go into shock from pain is what Drew was saying.

56:37 Caller Well, what was happening was my blood pressure was going up and my pulse was going down.

56:42 Drew That's the opposite of shock.

56:43 Caller Oh, was it? Okay, because what my doctor tells me now is that there might be something wrong with my heart that's causing my blood pressure.

56:53 Drew Right now, all bets are off. So we do any other drugs before this?

56:58 Caller I did a little drugs when I was in high school, nothing serious. Were you drinking? I'm not a drinker. I think a beer maybe once every once in a while.

57:07 Drew Were you at the time in which you were getting these headaches?

57:10 Caller No, it was very sudden. I have never been a sickly person, never been to the doctor.

57:16 Drew Is there alcohols in your family?

57:18 Caller There is, but it's my grandparents. It's not my parents.

57:23 Drew So you don't know whether your parents care of the gene or not.

57:25 Adam So what has stayed on?

57:26 Caller Hold on, shut up.

57:28 Adam Give me a headache.

57:29 Caller Forget about her.

57:30 Drew So she may just be...

57:32 Adam It's contagious, this headache.

57:33 Drew She may just be dependent. She may not be addicted.

57:36 Adam All right. Well, wait a minute.

57:37 Drew If she's dependent...

57:37 Adam What does stayed all do?

57:38 Drew Stayed all is an opiate, pain, pain medicine.

57:41 Adam Why do you take it nasally?

57:42 Drew Because it's the way it's delivered. It's like it's a synthetic opiate.

57:46 Adam Is it for, it's not for headaches specifically?

57:48 Drew No, it's marketed that way, but you can use it for any pain really.

57:52 Adam So it's like sniffing this and you're getting like a Vicodin type feeling.

57:56 Drew Heroin, yeah. Really?

57:58 Adam You have any of this in the sample, I'm sure? Bring one by, because it's important for me to know what our callers are going through.

58:08 Drew Yes, of course, I understand, of course. But listen, she may not be an addict. She may just be dependent on this, in which case she needs to talk to her doctor about tapering off. I mean, she'll have withdrawal and whatnot, but then that'll be that.

58:18 Adam But it's tough because if she gets dependent on it, then she will have these headaches to get her fixed, right?

58:24 Drew She may have withdrawal headaches, but you know, I think she's...

58:26 Adam No, I mean, she may have sort of sympathetic headaches.

58:29 Drew Oh, if she's an addict, if she's an addict, she will have headaches in order to get the drug. That's what her brain will do to her, is give her terrific pain until she delivers the goods. That's, that's, it's called a pain reward cycle that addicts get into. But it sounds like, it honestly sounds like she needs an angiogram or something to really evaluate whether or not she has an aneurysm.

58:45 Adam Linda?

58:46 Yes.

58:47 Adam You're 26?

58:48 Caller Yes.

58:49 Adam What's up?

58:51 Caller I'm calling because I wanted to ask Dr. Drew a question. I plan on having a breast reduction surgery and I also wanted to have liposuction. What I wanted to ask him was, is it too much to have in one week?

59:06 Drew Usually, what does the plastic surgeon say?

59:11 Caller I'm actually going to be talking to him tomorrow. I have an appointment with him.

59:16 Drew I bet they'll want to do everything all at once. Not in the same week, but all the same sitting. Really? Yeah, I bet you.

59:22 Adam How are they going to roll her over?

59:24 Drew Where do you have the lipod on?

59:25 Caller Well, see, I have a really bad back. I have a ruptured disc in my low back. It's not like I'm real big, but I know that when you have just, or I think it's when you have any kind of, I guess I have a little bulge, it adds weight to my back which causes the pain. So, it's basically my stomach, my lower abdominal area.

59:54 Drew Where people have the strangest way of thinking about their bodies and stuff, it's amazing. Everyone's got an explanation for everything. I've got it all figured out.

1:00:00 Adam I know. Hey, Linda, you're 26.

1:00:04 Caller Yeah.

1:00:04 Adam Why don't you just back off on the Cheetos a little and do a little power walk in or something and see where the extra weight around the gut goes.

1:00:17 Caller Also, if you lose weight, your chest will probably get smaller.

1:00:19 Drew That's true. Are you taking medicine too, pain medicine?

1:00:22 Caller No, I'm not at all.

1:00:24 Drew Okay.

1:00:25 Adam How much?

1:00:26 Caller He tried to give it to me, but I just kind of live with the pain.

1:00:31 Adam How much do you weigh?

1:00:33 Caller I weigh 135.

1:00:35 Adam How big are the breasts?

1:00:37 Caller They're 36 double B.

1:00:38 Adam Yeah. What are you, four foot two?

1:00:45 Caller No, I'm five three.

1:00:47 Drew What's small?

1:00:47 Adam Yeah. Well, I don't see what the problem is. I mean, have you had like nine kids or something?

1:00:56 Caller No. I've had no kids at all.

1:00:58 Adam I don't understand why 26, you got to get the lipo, you're 135 pounds. What's the big deal is? Why do you need the lipo suction?

1:01:08 Caller You know what it is? It's that I exercise and I seem to have that. I can never get rid of that little pooch or whatever that is.

1:01:16 Caller Okay.

1:01:18 Adam Listen, guys like that. We like to see something move when we're on top. You know what I mean?

1:01:23 Caller Yeah.

1:01:23 Adam Like a little counterweight. You go this way, it goes that way. You move right, it moves left.

1:01:28 Drew That's your testes.

1:01:29 Adam Oh, wait a minute. You're right. That's right. I don't need that. God, I have my testes. It's a counterweight. All right. So Drew, you're saying they like to take care of it. They'll do everything.

1:01:42 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:01:42 Adam So it's like the mechanic when the car is up on the rack, when it's up on the hoist. I mean, if they're going to do the brakes, they might as well repack the bearings and do the suspension.

1:01:55 Drew It might as well as. Because it's within the limits of what safety you don't want to go through anesthesia repeatedly if you don't have to. It's one time thing. Go through it. That's that.

1:02:04 Adam Because it's a semi-dangerous. Yeah.

1:02:05 Drew Yeah. Has its own inherent danger. Put it that way.

1:02:08 Adam A lot of folks waking up dead.

1:02:10 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:11 Adam Carrie?

1:02:12 Guest Yeah.

1:02:13 Adam You're 16.

1:02:14 Guest Yeah.

1:02:14 Adam What's up?

1:02:15 Guest My question is when I have sex, my inner lips, they kind of swell up. And I heard that after you have an orgasm, this is why it does that.

1:02:26 Drew No. It just does that normally.

1:02:28 Guest It does. I mean, they get to a point where they're like really, I mean, there's a point it was, it just got so big and it hurt to set down and it lasted for like a day.

1:02:38 Drew Well, that's inflammation. There's something going on. Do you lose lubrication during the?

1:02:43 Guest Yeah, we do.

1:02:44 Drew Yeah. Well, that's the problem.

1:02:46 Adam Yeah. That's it. You gotta keep it duct taped to the side of the bed.

1:02:51 Drew The lube or the?

1:02:51 Adam Yeah, the lube, yeah.

1:02:52 Drew Or the?

1:02:57 Adam Wait a minute. What do you mean the inner lip? Are there two lips?

1:03:01 Drew Yeah.

1:03:01 Adam There's an inner and an outer?

1:03:02 Drew Yes, there is. Yes, there is. That's right.

1:03:04 Adam There's no middle?

1:03:06 Drew No.

1:03:06 Adam So it's like at the movie theater, they got the small and the large and there's no medium or? What? We're talking about the vagina, right?

1:03:14 Drew I haven't been on the road too long.

1:03:16 Adam Yeah, you know, I only see the two that are down.

1:03:19 Drew There are only two. Yeah.

1:03:21 Adam There are? What do you mean? Are there inner or outer?

1:03:25 Drew They're both. There's an outer and there's an inner.

1:03:29 Adam I don't know about that inner part. I got to look into that.

1:03:32 Drew Give an anatomy book. You want the book?

1:03:34 Adam You know, I don't like the anatomy book.

1:03:37 Drew It's your punishment for bringing this up.

1:03:39 Adam Turns women into humans and you know how they test that. All right, Carrie? Yeah. All right, wait a minute. Drew finds the vagina page faster than any page, by the way.

1:03:51 Caller I think it's the smell.

1:03:52 Drew This is the outer.

1:03:53 Adam That's the outer. That doesn't look like anything. It's that one.

1:03:56 Drew That's the inner.

1:03:56 Guest Yeah, it's right by the hole.

1:03:58 Drew That's the inner.

1:03:58 Adam And then there's that. They don't do a good job of drawing the outer.

1:04:02 Drew No, they don't look like much.

1:04:04 Caller Every day, the man who knows more about your vagina than you do.

1:04:07 Adam And.

1:04:08 Drew Who's that?

1:04:08 Adam What's that down there?

1:04:11 Caller Can you guys share that with you?

1:04:12 Adam Yeah, share the game with us. It's very exciting stuff.

1:04:18 Drew Hey, Carrie?

1:04:20 Adam Alright, so maybe you need the lubrication.

1:04:22 Guest No, no, we use that.

1:04:24 Adam Alright, you use the lube and... How long do you have sex for?

1:04:30 Guest It depends. Oh my gosh. Anywhere he... Usually it lasts for like 30 minutes and sometimes it gets to an hour and hour and a half.

1:04:36 Adam Oh no, no, he's ruining it. He's throwing the curve. He's one of these troublemakers. He's one of these guys who Friday at 2.55 raises his hand in class and says, Any homework for the weekend teacher? Oh yes, yes, yes, wait a minute class. Sit back down. Yes, that's right. Son of a bitch. Anywhere from a half hour to an hour. Hour and a half.

1:05:01 Drew Too long.

1:05:02 Adam Yeah, too long. Too long. You got to hurry up.

1:05:05 Guest Well, is there any way I can like fix that or?

1:05:08 Drew Yeah, you can not do so long. Your body is telling you something.

1:05:11 Adam Tell them it's okay. Tell them to hurry up.

1:05:15 Caller Well, I don't know.

1:05:16 Adam All right.

1:05:17 Guest I enjoy it though. That's the whole thing.

1:05:19 Drew Well, parcel it out a little more.

1:05:21 Caller You understand?

1:05:22 Adam Give yourself a break.

1:05:24 Drew Love things you enjoy.

1:05:26 Adam Does he perform oral sex?

1:05:28 Guest No.

1:05:29 Adam Why not?

1:05:30 Guest I don't really know. I was like objective to it at first because my relationship before, he used to say things about me, just my down there. He used to put me down about it, so I never let him do it. Then one day I was like, hey, you can do it. He's just ever since then he hasn't even tried because my boyfriend now he's tried before, but I always push him away. Now I tell him he can't, he doesn't want to do it.

1:05:57 Caller Wow.

1:06:00 Adam What does he say? What did the old boyfriend say about you down there?

1:06:04 Guest Oh, God, it was terrible. He's like, it's starting to taste funny, it's changing, or something. I was like, what?

1:06:10 Caller What? Is he narrating the whole thing?

1:06:12 Adam He's giving a commentary during it?

1:06:15 Guest Yeah, he's like, he's like, ehh. And he gets up and he just walks away.

1:06:19 What an idiot.

1:06:21 Guest Yeah, he was.

1:06:22 Adam Asshole.

1:06:22 Guest I know what.

1:06:24 Adam Thank you, Drew. Well, listen, even I know you don't do any talking. Once you're down there, you're in. You know what it is? It's like, you've walked into the wrong church, right in the middle of a sermon. You know, like, hold up, Padre, wait a minute, where is this? No, you just sit down and wait till the guy's done and get up and leave if you don't like it. But I mean, you don't start asking questions. You can't, I mean, once you commit to the oral sex, that's why I rarely do it. But once you're down there, you're in. That's right. You're down there for the long haul.

1:06:58 Drew For the count.

1:06:58 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You do a tour, as they call it. I remember back in NAMM, kind of for a tour. Not many guys went for the second tour. You know that, Drew?

1:07:10 Drew Just you.

1:07:11 Adam That's right. Dave, you're 17 years old. Yeah. What's up?

1:07:17 Caller I referee basketball games. I was reffering for this 8th grade school. I'm a junior in high school and I really like this 8th grader.

1:07:28 Adam Yes.

1:07:29 Drew No, you don't.

1:07:30 Caller Come on. I was just wondering if I should pursue it or what.

1:07:32 Drew Dave, come on.

1:07:33 Adam What's his name? Is it a guy?

1:07:36 Caller No, it's a girl.

1:07:37 Guest It's a girl.

1:07:38 Adam They let you referee girls basketball games?

1:07:41 Caller Well, it was for a Christian school. All right. I worked for the Boys and Girls Club and I got the job through that. So.

1:07:49 Drew All right. Well, you're supposed to be protecting and helping shepherd these young folks in a positive direction. Not preying upon them is not going to improve their situation. OK. But what if I like wait till after the season or why don't you wait till she's 18? Then that's fine.

1:08:03 Adam You know, it'll be the 2005 season. Yeah. Hey, listen, when you're when you're 17, you're in high school. Hey, that's kind of that's kind of pathetic. You got to move on, you know, especially it's kind of a weird way to. All right. It's all wrong, right?

1:08:20 Drew I'm just thinking this guy creeped me out a little bit. I was thinking about when I was in Oregon yesterday, we had some guy in the middle of the presentation just go just off. And we've never had anything like that happen before.

1:08:31 Adam Yeah.

1:08:31 Drew We've never had any overt criticism of this program until then.

1:08:35 Adam Yeah, we have.

1:08:36 Caller Now, here's the problem.

1:08:37 Adam Drew cares too much, you know, and if somebody attacks the show, he really takes a serious offense to it. And like it hurts his feelings. And he stays with, it stays with you.

1:08:49 Drew Definitely for a while, yeah.

1:08:50 Adam You think about it.

1:08:51 Caller Yeah.

1:08:51 Adam Yeah, I don't think about it.

1:08:53 Caller I know. You don't care about anything, though.

1:08:55 Adam No, I do. I do. I mean, you know, I hate those who hate the show.

1:08:58 Drew Well, this was like bizarre. This was like, here's the trouble.

1:09:01 Adam That makes it better, doesn't it? Yeah.

1:09:04 Drew I mean, when they're further, Yeah, it's not legitimate, but it also makes you feel so powerless that you can't reason with them. And there's no way to sort of have a discussion or, you know, look at things.

1:09:13 Caller I understand, because, you know, people have open opinions about everything, really, you know, and when you hear something about your own performance and you would definitely think you're giving it the best shot you can, and, you know, then you just go, ugh, what am I, should I try extra harder? I mean, so it definitely gets to you.

1:09:28 Drew Filmers are good co-dependent like me.

1:09:30 Caller We had this thing at the beginning of our show where we had done drugs for a small part of the pilot, and everyone thought that's what the whole show was about, but, you know, the problem is sometimes these people don't really sit down and tune in to the product. No, they hear a headline, of course not.

1:09:50 Drew They hear a headline and they go nuts.

1:09:52 Caller Absolutely, and, you know, now, you know, it's the same thing, you know, the characters of Eric and Donna have sex in the episode, not this week, but next week, and it's like all the same thing, you know, all the reporters were kind of asking us about us.

1:10:08 Drew Are you going to get criticized for that?

1:10:09 Caller Uh, you know, they can, uh, whatever, but the truth is they haven't even really seen it, and, uh, and I'm, like I said, I mean, I doubt this guy's actually sat down and listened to our show.

1:10:20 Adam We're talking about that 70s show, by the way, if you want to know what we're talking about, if you just tuned in, 8.30 and 8 o'clock. I was getting back there, you see the rerun, hey, like, smoke enough pot, you want one at 8.30, it's like a new show. Monday night. Drew, you don't realize, I'm criticized in almost everything, you know, the man show takes its fair share of heat, so I don't...

1:10:44 Drew I could see that. Well, it doesn't matter. The man show is sort of unrepenting, we're trying to do good, you know what I'm saying? And then to be criticized for trying to do good is tough as well.

1:10:52 Adam There's always gonna be a couple screw balls out there. It's like driving, you know, you're gonna get flicked off, we're gonna follow the person home, you know, right? Yeah, come on, move on emotionally, Drew. Yeah. You're 17. Oh, we did?

1:11:06 Drew I'm waiting for him.

1:11:06 Adam Oh, I see. Oh, you're right. Hey, Dave? Yeah. Come on, don't let me talk to you again. All right. Don't bang around with any of those 13 year olds. You listen to Drew. You move down to 12, right, Drew?

1:11:18 Caller Yeah, that is really wrong, man.

1:11:19 Adam All right, we're gonna take ourselves a little break. We have the cast from That 70s Show here tonight. When we come back, we'll speak to George, who's 16 and hurts when he masturbates. Once blood came out, wants to know what's wrong. We'll be back after this.

1:11:34 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:11:36 Caller Okay, let's do it.

1:11:38 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:42 Loveline will be right back.

1:11:45 This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, advice.

1:12:18 Caller It's Loveline.

1:12:19 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Tomorrow night, Warren G will be in here. Tonight, we have most of the cast, some of the cast, half the cast. Yeah, let's do the math here. Almost half the cast from That 70s Show. Monday nights, 8 o'clock on Fox. Laura Prepon is here, Wilma Valderrama, Topher Grace, all represent in the show. And again, that's tomorrow night, 8 o'clock. We'll get back to the phones.

1:12:48 Caller George?

1:12:50 Adam You're 16. Hey, what's up?

1:12:54 Caller Hey, dude.

1:12:56 Drew George, wake up, pal.

1:12:57 Caller So check this out, guys. Check it.

1:13:01 Caller All right. Who from That 70s Show is there?

1:13:05 Adam I just said everyone from That 70s Show.

1:13:07 Caller I play Eric.

1:13:08 Caller Do you need the cast names? This is Donna and Fez.

1:13:10 Caller Eric, Donna, is that crazy guy there? What?

1:13:14 Caller They're all little nuts.

1:13:15 Drew George?

1:13:16 Caller I knew his name is Fez.

1:13:17 Adam Yes.

1:13:18 Caller Yeah, here I am.

1:13:19 Caller Hey, say something funny, dude.

1:13:25 Adam Come to the table, Reed.

1:13:27 Drew George, we're almost done with you.

1:13:30 Caller I'm sorry, guys.

1:13:31 Caller Here's my problem.

1:13:33 Caller Yeah, that was close.

1:13:34 Adam Drew, you tell George where my finger is.

1:13:36 Drew Finger's about half inch over the drop button.

1:13:40 Caller This conversation can serve no purpose anymore.

1:13:43 Drew George, go.

1:13:44 Caller Okay.

1:13:46 Caller I masturbated a lot.

1:13:49 Drew Oh, my God.

1:13:52 Caller Sorry, George.

1:13:53 Drew We got to go back to him. He sounds like he's...

1:13:55 Adam No, I could care less. Karen, listen, I hope lava comes out of his penis. I really do. It burns a hole in his belly. His mom finds him there. That's right. Karen?

1:14:11 Caller Yeah?

1:14:11 Adam You're 16.

1:14:12 Caller Hi.

1:14:13 Caller What's up?

1:14:15 Caller I've been staying up a lot at night and stuff to do my homework, and I've been taking these caffeine pills, and I was wondering if there's any damage from that that could affect me.

1:14:25 Adam How late are you staying up?

1:14:28 Caller Until like 3 or 4 sometimes.

1:14:31 Drew How much of the no-dose are you taking?

1:14:32 Caller Is that that riddle?

1:14:33 Drew No, no.

1:14:34 Caller Just helping to like once every three hours.

1:14:38 Drew It's not good for you. It's caffeine as I finish my third cup of coffee here.

1:14:42 Caller Right.

1:14:44 Drew We don't know really if there are any significant long-term effects, but it's obviously not good for you.

1:14:50 Caller Okay.

1:14:50 Adam Karen, why are you staying up all night to do your homework at 16?

1:14:54 Caller Well, I'm taking a lot of hard classes, and I have sports and work and everything, so.

1:14:59 Caller Yeah.

1:15:00 Caller To get my A's and things, I need to.

1:15:02 Caller Yeah.

1:15:02 Adam You got that little girl voice. You all right?

1:15:05 Caller Yeah, I'm fine.

1:15:06 Adam You have an eating disorder?

1:15:07 Caller No.

1:15:08 Adam Huh?

1:15:09 Caller No.

1:15:10 Adam No, never did? Yeah. Your parents pressure you too much?

1:15:15 Caller Sometimes, but I can deal with it.

1:15:18 Adam All right.

1:15:18 Drew If that's real.

1:15:19 Adam All right. So what should she do, not take these things?

1:15:22 Drew She knows.

1:15:23 Adam All right.

1:15:24 Drew She's smart.

1:15:24 Adam Karen? Yeah, don't mess with your chemistry that way. You'll turn out like Elvis. You have to take something to go to bed and something to wake up. All right?

1:15:35 Caller All right.

1:15:36 Adam All right.

1:15:36 Caller Thank you.

1:15:37 Caller All right.

1:15:40 Caller Shane?

1:15:42 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:15:42 Adam You're 14. What's up?

1:15:45 Caller I'm a current practitioner of witchcraft.

1:15:47 Caller I don't think my parents would approve of it.

1:15:50 Caller And I'm trying to find a way to break it to them.

1:15:54 Adam To your parents?

1:15:55 Caller Yeah.

1:15:56 Adam Why don't you like levitate or something?

1:16:00 Drew Just tell them.

1:16:00 Caller Give them a chance.

1:16:02 Adam They're not wondering and a little suspicious about what happened to the eye of Newt and stuff like that.

1:16:08 Drew One is tell them as soon as possible so they can have an opportunity to take appropriate action.

1:16:12 Adam Yeah.

1:16:12 Drew But secondly, then you got to wonder about who the parents are.

1:16:15 Adam I don't trust a guy who's into witchcraft. Wicca is for fat chicks. You understand? But not for guys. Are you gay? No. You're gay. Yes. Thank you, Drew. How did you get into witchcraft? Isn't it warlock tree, by the way, as a guy? I mean, you can guys practice. Can you be a witch as a guy? Don't you have to be a warlock?

1:16:41 Caller No, you can be a witch as a guy.

1:16:42 Adam Well, who are the warlocks?

1:16:46 Caller That got way out of hand when people got witches.

1:16:51 Adam Paul Lin was a warlock, wasn't he?

1:16:53 Drew He drove that way out of hand. It was really just a disservice to the community of warlocks. Yes.

1:16:59 Adam Shane, I start calling myself a warlock first off. There's a much more masculine ring to it, doesn't it? Yes. How did you get into this? Is this Wicca?

1:17:12 Caller Yes, more or less.

1:17:13 Adam It is. How did you get into that?

1:17:16 Drew Through Dr. Bombay was a warlock.

1:17:19 Adam That's right. Yes, Dr. Bombay too. What's that, Shane?

1:17:22 Caller Through my friend, Chris.

1:17:26 Adam How does it serve you?

1:17:30 Caller What do you mean by that?

1:17:31 Adam Well, what good do you get out of it? Oh, for Christ's sake.

1:17:36 Drew What does it do for you?

1:17:37 Adam Does it help you talk? Jesus Christ. What are you hoping to accomplish with your witchery, your witch canery?

1:17:48 Caller It's just an alternative religion.

1:17:50 Adam I know, but what's in it for you? I mean, are you trying to influence people?

1:17:57 Caller No, I'm not trying to influence people.

1:17:59 Caller It's just...

1:18:01 Adam Can you put a spell on someone?

1:18:05 Caller I could.

1:18:05 Caller I choose not to.

1:18:06 Adam Could you get... I love this. I love this, too. It's like, you know, these psychics are like, could you go down the horse track and pick the winner? I could, but I prefer to do infomercials. I can ask them myself. Really? You don't want to just pick the Super Bowl winner each year and go down and play a little sports book down at Caesar's Palace and make a nice quiet min for yourself? No, I choose to help others through doing bad infomercials with Mother Love. Listen, you can't do anything. This is nonsense. And of course, he's going to tell his parents because he's pissed at his parents.

1:18:39 Drew Right.

1:18:40 Adam But he wants to let him know.

1:18:42 Drew But you understand my point? The parents need a chance to intervene here to kind of straighten him out.

1:18:45 Adam But secondly, who are the parents? I'm going with Catholic people who are very pious. Shane, your parents are pretty religious?

1:18:55 Caller Yeah. Well, not as much as they used to be.

1:18:57 Adam But yeah, they tried to drop that in your lap. Yeah.

1:19:04 Drew They didn't drop it.

1:19:05 Adam Yeah. They tried to ram it up your took eye? That Christianity? More or less. Yeah. They tried. But it didn't work, did it, buddy? Nope. Because now you're wicked. Yeah. Payback time. There you go. Tell them tonight. Wake them up. Go in there with a broom on fire. And a hat with a, that's kind of bent at the top, with a little Merlin markings on it, and tell them all about your love of Wicca. All right? Drive them insane. This is why you're doing it. You don't even know why you're doing it. Your parents try to get you to do something. You're pissed off at your parents. So you did this. All right? All right. So tell them all about it.

1:19:48 Drew Enjoy.

1:19:49 Adam Enjoy.

1:19:49 Guest Enjoy.

1:19:51 Adam You see, you know, anyone who wants to tell their parents something, whatever it is, here's how you just do the math. Like you go, I'm 12 and I'm dating a 37 year old black man. Let me guess, your dad kind of a racist guy? Yeah. And a little, little abusive?

1:20:13 Drew Dad's an asshole.

1:20:14 Adam You hate him? Yeah. All right. You realize why you're dating the black guys, 37?

1:20:19 Drew But what does the next thing they say, though?

1:20:21 Adam Oh, no.

1:20:22 Drew It's a white, no, I love Jamal.

1:20:24 Adam That's why I'm dating him. Yeah. Now, it's so predictable. His parents were Christians and are born again or whatever. They were a little rough with him. So now he's going wiccan and he's going to tell him. And we could tell him not to tell him, but of course he's going to tell him. That's why he got in. That's why he became a witch. And by the way, I still think the warlock would soften the blow. If you want to tell you. Because if my kid came in and said, hey, dad, I'm a warlock. I'm like, oh, cool. There's something here. Hey, listen, can you like make some sort of clone of me so I don't have to go to work tomorrow? Or how does this work? Honey, let's hear him out. There may be something here. Antonio?

1:21:07 Caller Yeah.

1:21:07 Adam That's always great. Yeah, I can raise the dead and create any woman in the world can fall in love with me. I just choose not to. Very disciplined for a 14-year-old.

1:21:17 Caller Right on.

1:21:18 Adam Go ahead there, Antonio.

1:21:19 Caller First of all, I want to say hi to the cast.

1:21:21 Caller Laura, Wilmer, Topher, you guys are best.

1:21:23 Caller You guys kick some major ass.

1:21:24 Caller Oh, thanks a lot, brother. Thank you so much.

1:21:26 Caller Thanks. I love it.

1:21:27 Caller I watch the show every week.

1:21:29 Caller You guys are awesome.

1:21:30 Caller That's cool, man. Thank you for keeping us in the air.

1:21:33 Caller No problem, man.

1:21:35 Caller I want to say a special hi to Laura. Hey, man, you're awesome.

1:21:38 Caller Oh my God.

1:21:39 Caller Thank you. Thanks for watching us.

1:21:40 Caller I know it's a totally big crush on you, man. No, man.

1:21:44 Caller Come on, son.

1:21:44 Caller It's not like a soccer kind of thing. It's just like, oh, wow, she's going to come out. You know, I went to the website and I was like, oh, well, you know, there they are. And it's just, I love the show and you guys are doing a good job. Keep it up. Thank you so much. Yeah, don't let nobody tell you nothing about the getting high. They're just not even in tune with the show, man.

1:22:02 Caller More power to you.

1:22:03 Adam It's getting spooky now.

1:22:05 Caller Let's move on to the question.

1:22:09 Caller Oh, stop it. All right, here's my question.

1:22:12 Caller All right.

1:22:13 Caller I heard that you can use a KY lube as a spermicidal.

1:22:15 Caller And I was just wondering if that's true or not.

1:22:18 Drew Spermicide is a specific chemical that's got to be in the lube. And if you're using a spermicide, that should not be your contraceptive. That should be sort of a tertiary backup, meaning to say you should have condom and the emergency contraceptive should be available. You should not use the lubes or the gels.

1:22:37 Adam Do they have lubricant with spermicide in it?

1:22:39 Drew Yeah.

1:22:39 Adam They do.

1:22:40 Drew Yeah.

1:22:40 Adam Well, that's good. That's like when they put the jelly in with the peanut butter in that one container. You guys are too young to remember this, but back in the 70s. On the show, you talk about it, but you know so little of it. Some stoner genius decided, hey, this peanut butter and jelly, too big a hassle. I think it was the guys who invented Pert, actually. They just go, let's just put the peanut butter and jelly in the same jar so that the stoners could just spoon it right into their mouth and not have to worry about polluting one with the other spoon.

1:23:14 Drew And Tony, what are you using for contraception?

1:23:16 Caller I'm not. It was just a curiosity question.

1:23:19 Drew So it's something, it's on the condoms. It's non-oxidol 9. It's a lubricant that's on the condoms with, you know, it's a spermicide and lubricant.

1:23:25 Adam All right, Antonio. But that alone is not going to do it. You have to use it in conjunction with something else. All right.

1:23:32 Caller All right, thanks, Bob.

1:23:34 Adam You know, I like that Pert commercial with the shampoo that's in the conditioner because it shows the guy walking to the shower at the gym and he's got the one bottle that says shampoo and the other that says conditioner and he can't hang on to it. It's like it's too big a handful, too much, too much. Okay, between that and the gym towel, no way. And breathing. Yeah, you guys know what it's like to try to transport conditioner and shampoo from your locker? Way too much. It's flying all over the place. What happens? What I'll do is I'll drop the conditioner and kick it to the shower while I hold the shampoo and towel with the other hand.

1:24:12 Caller But no way.

1:24:13 Adam Finally, they put the two together. Now it's a breeze.

1:24:15 Caller It's a snap.

1:24:16 Adam No problem at all.

1:24:17 Caller All right.

1:24:18 Adam We're ready to take a break here, Drew?

1:24:20 Drew We're ready.

1:24:21 Adam Yes. No, no, no.

1:24:22 Drew We're going to wait. Well, this one, this one.

1:24:24 Adam Yeah. The one you got marked there. Louise? Is that Louise?

1:24:28 Drew Louise.

1:24:29 Adam Is that Louise?

1:24:29 Drew That's Louise.

1:24:30 Adam It is.

1:24:31 Drew Female.

1:24:31 Adam Yeah. You think so?

1:24:33 Drew Read the question.

1:24:34 Adam Hello? Hi. Okay. Drew read the question. See, it's no fair because Drew can read. Louise is 19 having sex with a guy with a big penis. And wants to know if this will make her looser. All right. We'll explain how that works after this.

1:24:59 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

1:25:24 Adam Yep, it's the Loveline. Our guest tonight, Laura Prepawn, Wilmer Valderrama, Topher Grace, all here from That 70s Show. That is Monday nights, 8 o'clock on Fox. And phone number here. Ah, forget about the phone number. We don't need more calls, do we, Jerome? No. No. Louise. Yeah, huh? All right, so you're 19. Your boyfriend has a big penis.

1:25:48 Guest Well, actually, I'm with two guys right now.

1:25:50 Adam All right, so their combined length is... You're with two guys simultaneously?

1:25:56 Guest Well, yeah, one is a bit larger, and one is a boyfriend who's been around for a long time. So I'm wondering if, you know...

1:26:03 Drew Will he notice it?

1:26:05 Caller Yeah.

1:26:05 Drew No.

1:26:06 Guest Because I know if you have like five babies or whatever, you're going to end up being loose, but...

1:26:10 Drew Yeah, think about the size of a baby's head.

1:26:14 Caller Yeah, that's a good one.

1:26:15 Caller Yeah.

1:26:16 Adam Plus the nose.

1:26:17 Caller You know what I mean?

1:26:18 Adam Which the penis doesn't have.

1:26:20 Caller Exactly.

1:26:21 Caller Well, you know.

1:26:26 Adam Who's the new guy?

1:26:28 Guest The new guy is pretty well-endowed, and I'm wondering if the old guy is going to recognize that the new guy is, you know, kind of making room and if it's going to make a difference or...

1:26:38 Caller Do they know of each other or...?

1:26:39 Drew No. But again, let me reiterate. Even after four babies, things are okay. So, think about the difference between the size of a baby's head and this guy's.

1:26:49 Adam Has he noticed so far? No. Yeah, a lot of women think the vagina is made of leather. Yeah. And it just gets worked in like an old loafer or something, you know? Thank God it can snap back.

1:27:03 Guest You can completely go back to the normal size.

1:27:06 Drew After a child, after delivery, it goes back to normal.

1:27:09 Adam How wide is this guy's penis?

1:27:11 Drew So again, think of the size of a baby's head.

1:27:13 Adam Don't try to use the logic with her. She's guilt ridden. How wide is this guy's penis?

1:27:19 Caller I'd say, I don't know, maybe, I don't know.

1:27:23 Guest I don't know, I can't get my fingers around it.

1:27:25 Caller Oh man.

1:27:26 Caller Yeah.

1:27:27 Adam I wish a three-year-old gets her fingers around my penis. And half, by the way. Yes, I'll be candid with you. All right. Listen, which guy do you like more? Can't you just go out with one guy?

1:27:44 Guest I guess I could.

1:27:45 Adam Yeah. What's up with you?

1:27:46 Guest I don't know. It's fun. I just turned 19, Canada, you know.

1:27:50 Caller Canada. Oh Canada.

1:27:52 Caller Oh, I see.

1:27:52 Guest Canada.

1:27:53 Caller So now I understand.

1:27:53 Drew What does Canada have to do with it?

1:27:54 Adam There are all whores over there.

1:27:56 Caller Come on.

1:27:56 Drew What does Canada have to do with it? Louise, what does Canada have to do with it?

1:27:59 Guest I just turned 19, so I'm going to the bars and I want to-

1:28:01 Drew Oh, in Canada, the drinking age is 19?

1:28:03 Caller Yeah.

1:28:04 Drew I see.

1:28:04 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:28:06 Guest I'm in Chosin. It's actually near Victoria.

1:28:08 Drew Vancouver. So you're listening out of Seattle.

1:28:11 Caller Yeah.

1:28:12 Adam All right. Get loaded, have sex with a lot of strangers.

1:28:14 Caller All right.

1:28:16 Adam Have my blessing. You'll snap back. You're like a rubber band. But I don't know. Emotionally, it'll probably take its toll, I'm guessing eventually. Abby?

1:28:28 Caller Yes.

1:28:29 Adam You're 17?

1:28:30 Caller Yeah.

1:28:30 Caller What's up?

1:28:32 Caller Well, for the past couple of years, I've been dating older guys and I'm a virgin and I don't know, it seems like all they want from me is sex. And I wondered if they kind of dig the idea of screwing a young chick or all guys that age just after sex.

1:28:48 Adam What's going on in the background there, Abby?

1:28:51 Drew Joan Baez.

1:28:52 Caller I'm sorry?

1:28:52 Adam No, wait a minute. Let's let us hear what's going on in the background.

1:28:56 Caller Oh, it's my telephone. It picks up radio signals.

1:29:02 Adam Oh, wow.

1:29:04 Caller I'm sorry. I can't. I can't fix that.

1:29:06 Adam Yeah. I'd be hoping for a news station about now. What is that? The Buggaloos or something?

1:29:13 Caller I don't know.

1:29:14 Adam That's some pretty poppy stuff.

1:29:15 Drew Up with people.

1:29:16 Adam Yeah. Oh, wow. British invasion. All right.

1:29:22 Caller Listen, Abby.

1:29:24 Adam Yes. First off, you got to get yourself a new phone.

1:29:28 Caller I'm sorry.

1:29:30 Drew Secondly, with each question you asked, you asked about three different questions, the answer is affirmative to all of them.

1:29:34 Adam Yes. Guys want to have sex with young women, young guys, medium-aged guys, and old guys. All want to have sex with young women. But what's up with you with dating the older guys and being a virgin and being kind of obsessed with the sex?

1:29:49 Caller I'm not obsessed with the sex. It's them that is.

1:29:51 Adam No, no, no, no. But there's something up. You're doing some projection.

1:29:54 Caller I am?

1:29:55 Adam Yeah. I hear the way you're stating the question. I date these old guys. You don't like guys. What's up? Where's your dad? Where did he go?

1:30:04 Caller My dad's here.

1:30:05 Adam Really?

1:30:05 Caller Yeah.

1:30:06 Caller My parents got divorced when I was about two and then my mom remarried when I was six.

1:30:10 Adam Anything happen?

1:30:11 Caller No, absolutely nothing.

1:30:12 Drew That could be enough. Is your dad gone at that time?

1:30:15 Caller No. I mean, I've had a normal childhood.

1:30:18 Adam How was stepdad?

1:30:19 Caller Pardon?

1:30:20 Adam Stepdad.

1:30:21 Caller He was marvelous, much better than my real dad.

1:30:23 Adam Now we're getting somewhere. Why was he much better than your real dad? Yeah.

1:30:28 Caller My real dad just kind of showed up in my life about when I was 10 or 11.

1:30:34 Adam So your real dad kind of abandoned you?

1:30:36 Drew Absolutely.

1:30:37 Adam Right?

1:30:38 Caller Well, I'm living with him now.

1:30:39 Caller So, yeah.

1:30:41 Drew All right.

1:30:41 Adam But he abandoned you when you were young?

1:30:43 Caller Well, I guess you could say that.

1:30:45 Drew All right.

1:30:45 Adam So now you go out with all the guys.

1:30:47 Drew Let's be really clear. That's what happened. We're not just saying that. That's what happened. Okay. It isn't fun.

1:30:53 Caller Our parents got separated. It's not as though he abandoned me.

1:30:56 Adam Yeah. Hold on. They didn't get separated on a rafting trip. Yeah. Do you understand?

1:31:00 Drew It was a three-hour tour.

1:31:03 Adam True, everybody. It's a comedy, a rare comedy. One joke of the new millennium so far. No. He left and he abandoned you.

1:31:11 Drew Listen, if Adam's parents separated, they stayed in his life.

1:31:16 Adam That's right. I wish they hadn't, but they had.

1:31:21 Caller He didn't abandon me. They got a legal divorce.

1:31:23 Drew Yes, but he did not stay in your life.

1:31:26 Adam Oh, listen, go date 80-year-olds, and I hope they all have sex with you. I'm done.

1:31:31 Caller Please.

1:31:32 Adam They got a legal divorce. No, it was all above the bar. I know they got a divorce, but he left and did not come back around. She said he wasn't back around until he was 10 or something.

1:31:46 Drew She's talking out of both sides of her mouth. He didn't show up in my life until I was 10. Then, my stepdad was much better than my real dad.

1:31:52 Adam Right.

1:31:53 Drew Your real dad was sort of a jerk and he vanished. That has a profound effect on children, but oftentimes the women more than the men.

1:32:00 Adam Yes. Now everyone's daddy and that's why you date older guys. The sexuality thing's all screwy. All right. Who cares? Chris, listen, if you're in denial, I don't care. I just don't care. I'm not interested. You know what? I'm not interested in coaxing anyone into sanity on this show. Yeah. All you denial people is go to hell.

1:32:18 Caller Denial?

1:32:18 Adam Chris?

1:32:19 Caller Yeah.

1:32:20 Adam You're 21. What's up?

1:32:21 Caller Yeah. Maybe a month ago, me and my fiancee decided we're going to have a threesome with her best friend. Right. At this point in time, I'm having stronger feelings for her best friend. Yeah.

1:32:38 Adam See, I bet you're sad. You let her talk you into it.

1:32:41 Caller Well, it wasn't her.

1:32:43 Caller Oh, we're shocked.

1:32:45 Adam Shocked. I am dumbfounded. I mean, you wanted to have the threesome with the fiance and the best friend?

1:32:51 Caller Yeah.

1:32:52 Adam I'll tell you, every instinct I've ever had is wrong on this show. I had no idea. Wow. She let you do that, right?

1:33:01 Caller Yeah.

1:33:02 Adam So she's screwed up, right? Yeah. Yeah. Your fiance is a piece of work.

1:33:08 Drew With Chris.

1:33:09 Caller Yeah. Come on.

1:33:10 Adam You guys don't have any kids, do you?

1:33:13 Caller At this point in time, we have one and one on the way.

1:33:18 Adam Oh, that always breaks my heart. Yeah. Chris, because I'd have you sterilize if I was in charge. I really would.

1:33:26 Caller Would I?

1:33:27 Adam Yeah. Good.

1:33:27 Drew Thank you. We like you now.

1:33:30 Adam Please go do that.

1:33:31 Caller Well, I've been trying to tell my fiance, you know, I want to get fixed, but she keeps on demanding no.

1:33:37 Adam Listen, how old is your fiance?

1:33:39 Caller She's 20.

1:33:41 Adam She's a piece of work, isn't she?

1:33:43 Drew She has two kids. 20.

1:33:45 Adam Yeah. She's screwed up, right?

1:33:47 Caller Yeah.

1:33:47 Adam Yeah. It's a little chaotic.

1:33:49 Caller Well, she comes from a very, very strict Christian family.

1:33:53 Adam Yeah.

1:33:53 Drew Who beat the crap out of her.

1:33:54 Adam Somebody beat on her or molested her or something?

1:33:57 Caller No. Her mom and her dad got divorced when she was like eight years old.

1:34:04 Adam Yeah.

1:34:05 Drew No.

1:34:06 Adam More here than that. All right. Listen, Chris. Yeah. Don't have any more kids. How about giving this one up for adoption, the one that you're pregnant with?

1:34:16 Caller I don't know.

1:34:17 Adam All right. What do you think about it?

1:34:19 Drew Please.

1:34:20 Caller But I want to know what I could do. I mean.

1:34:23 Drew Hey, you're dad now. Screw your attraction to this other girl. You've got to commit yourself to the mother of your children.

1:34:29 Caller Come on.

1:34:30 Adam Start acting like a dad. Would you there? You know your kid's name? Yeah. Okay. Why? Can you love it a little bit and stop acting out?

1:34:39 Drew And cherish its mom? Not screw it up? To protect its mom a little bit?

1:34:43 Caller Well, me and the fiance are still together.

1:34:47 Drew Yeah. Well, good.

1:34:47 Adam We know that.

1:34:48 Drew Forget about this other friend, this other friend's attraction. That's why you don't get engaged in these kinds of things. Forget it. It's over. Stay with your fiance.

1:34:56 Adam Stay with your fiance and raise your god damn kids, would you?

1:35:01 Drew No.

1:35:01 Adam All right. Good. Go to hell. See you in hell too. You'll be in a lower level of hell. I've decided I shouldn't go to, I know I'm going to hell.

1:35:11 Drew But not the bowels.

1:35:11 Adam Not the bowels of hell. Not the basement.

1:35:13 Caller I'll be in a penthouse of hell.

1:35:15 Drew You'll be in the thyroid of hell.

1:35:18 Adam It's like, yeah, he was medium bad. That's what I'm thinking.

1:35:22 Drew The nostril of hell.

1:35:23 Caller Yeah, I'll be here.

1:35:24 Adam I'll be like, fellas, I'm in hell, but I'm here in a technicality. Not to be in with you murders, pedophiles, and people that just raised kids and didn't love them. I'm just here because I used the Lord's name in vain a few too many times while I was masturbating. Interesting twist. Found out later, if I'd separately, I would have been fine, but using it at the same time. That's what sent me here.

1:35:45 Jesus Christ in heaven!

1:35:47 Adam That's Andy Dick. All right, we'll take a break.

1:35:50 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:35:54 Caller Well, it's worth hearing.

1:36:02 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

1:36:08 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Sunday, February 6, 2000