0:02
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.
0:13
Voiceover
I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.
0:15
Voiceover
Loveline.
0:18
Adam
I was talking to my grandma, you know, she always embarrassed me with the sexual talk. She says, this is two weeks ago, she goes, you know, she was talking about dying pubic hair, and she goes, you know, you're getting old when you got some gray in your pubic hair. And I said, no, grandma, here's when you're getting old when your grandson's got some gray. Now you're old, baby. She said, yeah, but I'm so old, I don't care.
0:52
Caller
I said, all right, well, touche. Jimmy sort of let loose with a few embarrassing facts about yourself.
1:01
Adam
Oh, really?
1:01
Caller
Yeah, two. What was about Ray and what was about you? One was that apparently there's a picture circulating that Chris at all busted in and took a view when you were masturbating.
1:12
Adam
It's not circulating, but there is one that does exist. Yeah.
1:17
Caller
Apparently, it's quite a scene.
1:19
Adam
Yeah. Well, it's just a blur. You can't really make anything. I should bring it in one day.
1:24
Caller
It's a great shot. You show it with pride, he said. Well, once you're in, once you got a good friend.
1:29
Adam
Sure. It's part of the initiation.
1:31
Caller
Share with them. The other thing he said is that Ray, the guy you went to Vegas with yesterday, crapped in his desk.
1:37
Adam
Jimmy's desk. To be fair to Ray.
1:41
Caller
He crapped and then took it back out.
1:43
Adam
He crapped somewhere else and put it in Jimmy's desk. And I told Ray that's not a great call. And so he broke into the office later that night and stole the crap out of the desk. One of the few times I think someone has actually broken into an establishment to steal crap, steal feces from a desk. And I said, hey Ray, yeah, you're looking to get hired? Yeah. Crapping in the boss's desk? Maybe not. Maybe not at the top of the list in terms of taxes to get tactics to get hired. No, I mean, it's an interesting, it's an interesting one.
2:19
Caller
It's like pulling the girl's hair. It's like you're trying to get attention. So it's a term of endearment.
2:25
Adam
Right. But you don't ass on the girl's head. Do you? You just tug on the ponytail a little bit. All right. When we come back, we'll speak to Mary. She's 34.
2:35
Caller
She's. This is interesting. Read this.
2:37
Adam
She is going on kidney dialysis. Will this affect her sex life?
2:41
Caller
Interesting.
2:43
Adam
That's fascinating.
2:43
Caller
It is interesting.
2:45
Adam
It is?
2:45
Caller
It will be. You'll see.
2:47
Adam
Okay. That will all remain to be seen after this. Shoot me in the ass and then bang me in the ass.
2:56
He has even made it on the blooper reel at the end of the year.
3:01
Adam
Oh, I did?
3:01
Yeah. Because they were rolling cameras, and he was in the back of this limo, and he had this little portable fan on him because he was keeping himself cool. Because he sweats so damn much, right? The director screamed, he said, All right, Adam, drop the fan, drop the fan. He looked at the camera and he went, Why don't you drop the attitude?
3:28
Adam
Oh, that's good.
3:29
You made it on the gag reel.
3:31
Adam
All right. Well, as Drew knows, I sweat a lot about the brow and the forehead, and as Drew knows, everything I do involves heat and cameras and cameras like your forehead. If I'm doing a commercial or a guest spot on a TV show, here's the scenario. We're in a limousine, except for it was not. It's not outside. It's in a studio.
3:55
Caller
It's winter and you're wearing a ski parker.
3:57
Adam
And I'm wearing a tuxedo and there's lights inside with an overcoat. And there's lights actually above your head inside the limo. And the doors are shut in the limo. So, you're sitting there with an overcoat and a tuxedo on with a well lit limo. It's everything I do. When I did that 1-800-Collect commercial, we're inside of this human brain, essentially, which was on the sound stage and lit. And again, it was like building a giant coffin, lighting it, and then climbing in it. And I'm wearing earmuffs, a ski beanie, and mittens. And I'm thinking, why does this happen every single time?
4:32
And you're a sweater to boot.
4:33
Adam
Oh, yes. So speaking of sweating, I ran into somebody yesterday, which was almost surreal. One of the things I hate most about this job is when I say horrible things about people and then have to confront them. Like the time during the Man Show, we did this movies Men Don't Want to See, and we did a sort of coming attraction. And one of the movies was Dick Van Patten and LeVar Burton star in Pioneer Dads. They worked the land in each other. It was an epic tale of interracial gay adoption in the 1800s basically. And you know LeVar is looking at the game. LeVar and Dick Van Patten are gay lovers and they're like standing in front of a horse in carriage. And anyway, I got a call from LeVar Burton the following day, I've never spoken to a day in my life. Adam, this is LeVar, what's up? Hey LeVar, what's happening my man? You know, you try to black it up a little. Hey LeVar, hey, this is a surprise. What's up with the poster? You mean Pioneer dads? They work the land in each other? Yeah, what's up with that? Well, we put, we put Dick Van Patten on it too. Yeah, well people think of him as a dad, but people don't think of me as a dad. I don't know, let me talk to the writers. It's comedy. It's comedy. Come on, LeVar, lighten up, buddy. No one thinks you're gay. The point is, is last night, the bit that I did on the Billboard Awards show is I said, listen, I don't want to bring the show down, but I know I wasn't first choice to co-host this show. And as a matter of fact, I fished this list out of the garbage and I'm pretty upset about it. It wasn't meant for my eyes, but this is a list of folks that they wanted to host the show before they got to me. And it's pretty upsetting. Now they got, and there's a couple of straight ones at the top. It was like Chris Rock and Dennis Miller and I don't know who the other one was, Bill Cosby or something. And then it started getting into these bizarre things like Wally Cox. Wally Cox and Gigi Guy and the animatronic cat from Sabrina LeTouche and some guy named Stu or just bizarre stuff. OJ was on there. But one of the guys on there was Joe Piscopo. No, I didn't run into Joe. One of the guys was Joey Butafuco. Okay. Joe, they wanted Joey before me. And obviously, I'm kind of making fun of Joey. And who do I run into in the lobby of the MGM, two hours later, stewed like a tomato? Joey Butafuco, face to face. And Joey Butafuco is a lot of Butafuco.
7:28
He's a big man.
7:29
Adam
He's a lot of man.
7:31
Butafuco.
7:32
Adam
Butafuco. I mean, this guy goes about 6'4, and at least 260, 270, I mean. And he's lit like a Roman candle, man. And his hair's cut shorter, and he's not wearing his trademark junkie jewelry and everything. He's wearing like a creepy suit.
7:48
Did you recognize him when he winked?
7:49
Adam
No, I didn't recognize him. His hair had grayed a little bit. His hair, he cut it short. He didn't have that sort of mullet perm that's so popular in the Newark area where he hails from. He's got, you know, he looks sort of normal and he's wearing like a three-piece suit. And he just comes right up to me, Adam. Yeah. Joe Bonafuco. I'm like, holy Christ. You're kidding me. Where's LeVar Burton? I'm going to get gang raped.
8:17
Caller
What'd he say?
8:19
Adam
You were talking about me. And I'm like, OK, this could still go either way. You're talking. I'm getting a picture with you. He said, all right, we're all right now. Now he's loaded. Joey's loaded. And there's some other chick wants to take it. There's a whole bunch of people that wait in the lobby, the hotel, hoping that somebody big comes by. And then I come by and they're like, oh, what the hell. I'll take a picture with him and we'll wait for, you know, Dr. Dre or someone to come by. And so, now, what's kind of weird is I'm taking a picture with a couple of teenage chicks. There's a bunch of them and Joey becomes a designated photographer. Now, and Joey's drunk.
8:56
Caller
And they probably don't realize who he is.
8:58
Adam
Joey doesn't know a lot about cameras anyway. And they're handing him the camera. Now, it's kind of weird because I want to jump in and go, well, no, that's Joey, but then I'm thinking, well, what'd he do? I mean, he banged around with some 60-year-old. He shot his wife. And you know what I mean? It's like he's a celebrity of sorts.
9:18
Caller
But how do you describe it?
9:20
Adam
How do you describe it? And how do you like intervene and say he shouldn't be taking the picture?
9:24
Caller
Girls watch out. He shouldn't be around.
9:27
Adam
Joey's drunk and Joey grabs the cameras. He can't get the camera to work. And I'm standing my arm around people and they're yelling stuff at him. Hold the button down. And I'm like, don't upset him.
9:35
Caller
Yell at him.
9:36
Adam
Don't yell at him. He's mad enough over the monologue. So Joey's taking pictures and everyone keeps sliding in and Joey's like, I'm taking a picture with you because you talked about me today. And he was excited that I brought him up, even though it was in a sort of context that wasn't really flattering.
9:53
Caller
The entirety of his celebrity has been unflattering.
9:58
Caller
The last I heard, he was bouncing here somewhere.
10:01
Adam
Oh, he could do it. He could bounce. I got to tell you though, Drew's true. It's true. It's all relative when you're a celebrity because your underage girlfriend was jealous and shot your wife in the ear.
10:17
Caller
If I got one...
10:18
Adam
Then me mentioning you as a sort of negative host on Billboard, that's a huge step up, right?
10:24
Caller
That's right.
10:24
Adam
Oh, Jesus Christ. This is my worst nightmare, is running into people I've talked about. Anyway, thank God he was drunk and jovial.
10:33
Caller
Here's one.
10:34
Adam
Well now.