Episode 1000754888334

0:01 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion advised.

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

0:14 Voiceover What are you insane?

1:19 Drew It's seen in the break for like a minute and a half. I thought, Oh my God, it's disorienting. You see these four minute breaks. And he goes, I know, on radio, you have just enough time to pee.

1:27 Adam Yeah, he does a lot of peeing at Larry. Well, he's older, Jen. I'm sure the prostate's all torn to shreds. So I went today to go see Dr. Drew's hand surgeon friend, and I got an appointment scheduled for some hand surgery.

1:40 Drew Oh, good.

1:40 Adam Friday.

1:41 Drew Yeah, Friday.

1:42 Adam Yeah.

1:42 Drew Did he tell you about the cast?

1:44 Adam Getting right in there. He said he put a little something on there for about a week, but that'll be all right. But really, my all thoughts turned to masturbation.

1:52 Drew Did you bring it up with him? Did you talk to your doctor about it?

1:55 Adam What's he going to say? Is there some sort of, what was I going to ask him? Is there some sort of?

1:59 Drew I know you talk about a national radio. Why the hell can't you talk to your doctor about it?

2:02 Adam It's humiliating.

2:03 I'm not going to bring that up.

2:04 Adam He's not my doctor. He's your doctor. He's just fixing my hand. But here's the funny part. So he said, well, it's going to be a couple of weeks. And then he said, well, maybe I can get you in Friday. And I thought, you know what? I just want to get this over with. I want to come back Friday, get my hand operated on and go home and get the recovery down. God knows Thursday night is going to be a big night for me, by the way. By the way, he said, so he said, what?

2:27 Drew You're going to come in here loaded on Vicodin on Sunday.

2:29 Adam I'll be on something. Yeah. So he said, so he said, Friday, Friday, we'll we'll do it. And then he went and checked the schedule and his secretary said, well, now you have somebody in there, your schedule is kind of full Friday. But there's this one person you've never met her. You didn't have a consultation with her, but she already booked herself for an operation for some carpal tunnel syndrome operation. And he was kind of waffling. Well, wait a minute, I should I should do a meeting with her. And the secretary was saying, well, she's been booked and this and that. And it was in, you know, realized between me and her. And I said, listen, I need to get in Friday. And she said, why? What's so important about Friday? And I said, I got a big calligraphy competition coming up next month. And I got to be in good shape. And I just kept a real straight face. And she was like, well, OK. She just scratched the other person out. So I thought that was good thinking. Big calligraphy competition coming up. But I want to point out, she didn't say anything. I don't know if she believed me or not.

3:31 Drew Beeper just went off.

3:32 Adam Oh, good. Very good. All right. So, Drew, before we go to calls, let me make sure I know this stuff works. Why do I need someone to drive me home from the operating room?

3:41 Drew You're not going to know what the hell is going on. You're going to be out to lunch.

3:44 Adam I'm not getting a general. I'm getting a local and a sort of a semi general.

3:48 Drew Yeah. You're going to sleep.

3:49 Adam Am I going to sleep? Oh, really? He said the reason I have to go to sleep is because he's going to put a tourniquet on my arm. It's going to stop the blood and it's going to get too uncomfortable and I'm going to wig out. But he didn't say to sleep. He just said he was going to relax me.

4:03 Drew You'll be asleep.

4:04 Adam I was walking out to the car and I thought to myself, I know I've driven home in worse condition than this before. Don't you think that's true? There's not many cops out during the day.

4:15 Drew I tried to go back to work right after. They give you a reset as this very rapid acting benzodiazepine and I thought, I've got to lunch with my wife afterwards, no big deal and have no idea what really happened until I woke up sitting across my wife with her going, this is the fourth time you've asked me that.

4:32 Adam Oh really?

4:33 Drew I thought, maybe I should sign out.

4:35 Adam Yeah, but I've spoken to your wife before. I could use some of that reset too. That's a good call. All right, so am I going to get some Vicodin or something good? Really? What will he do? Write me a prescription for that?

4:48 Drew I will, yeah. Do not come to me for that crap.

4:51 Adam Really?

4:51 Drew Really.

4:52 Adam He'll write me one? I don't have a stranger write me one?

4:54 Drew He will. He is taking care of you. I am not taking care of you.

4:56 Adam But I'm going to get on the Vicodin? I've been dying to try this Vicodin for years now. This is just a kind of excuse. You don't know how many times I mashed my palm into the cement until I got this huge cyst so that I can now have this operation so I can try this Vicodin out. But I'm looking forward to it, Drew. So will he prescribe the Vicodin and I'll get it that day?

5:16 Drew Yes.

5:16 Adam Really? But what kind of condition am I going to be in to go get the Vicodin?

5:19 Drew Your fiancee will pick it up for you.

5:21 Adam No she won't.

5:22 Drew She's driving you home.

5:24 Adam I think I'm going to get like a day labor or something to drive me home.

5:27 Drew They can also drive you by a pharmacy on the way home.

5:28 Adam Really? I think I can drive home. You don't think so?

5:32 Drew They will not let you.

5:33 Adam I know, but how does that work? I could make it out to the car.

5:35 Drew They'll call the police.

5:36 Adam What if I start running with the keys?

5:38 Drew They will call the police.

5:39 Adam I could outrun the pigs. The fuzz? Are you kidding? Come on. Jonathan?

5:45 Yeah.

5:45 Adam You're 19. What's going on?

5:47 Caller Well, this friend showed me this porno and I was just kind of wondering. This woman in it, she inverted her anus. She like opened it up and like it kind of like picture a flower blossoming, like opening like that.

6:00 Adam Yeah.

6:01 Caller I just want to know how she did that. Like, it just doesn't seem very natural. Yeah. It was all red and bloody and some white stuff came out. It could have been semen, but I don't know.

6:11 Adam What is in the anus there, Drew? There's nothing to come out, is there? Just your anus, right?

6:16 Drew Is this like an all-time low we've sunk into?

6:18 Caller Yeah.

6:19 Adam Jonathan, did you enjoy that?

6:21 Caller Not really. I was kind of freaked out.

6:23 Adam Yeah.

6:24 Caller It's pretty weird. I just want to know like...

6:25 Drew It's called a rectal prolapse.

6:28 Caller Really?

6:28 Drew Yeah.

6:29 Adam It's a rectal... What is that?

6:31 Drew It's your anus falling out, basically. It happens to very old people as the whole area becomes lax. You have to operatively take it all back in.

6:39 Adam How did she get it back in?

6:41 Drew How did she get to the situation where she's prolapsing a rectum is what I don't know. A young person. Is he a young person?

6:47 Adam I kind of hope so. I have mixed feelings about their age. On one hand, I want them to be 19. On the other hand, I want to be like 120. How old do you think the person was?

6:57 Caller Pretty young. I mean, she was still good looking. Still like 19 to 20 something.

7:01 Drew She would prolapse her rectum.

7:02 Adam So Drew, how does the prolapse in the rectum work?

7:07 Drew It just turns inside out.

7:08 Adam How does that do that? What? I thought it was just a hole in there.

7:13 Drew Give me the pictures. Where's the diagram? Where's the...

7:15 Adam I don't know. Do we have that book? How come that... Oh, here it is. Is this it? Yeah. All right, Drew's getting the book out. We'll go to the next call. Drew, you'll explain that to me. Ryan?

7:25 Yeah.

7:25 Adam You're 16.

7:26 Drew There you go.

7:26 Yeah.

7:27 Adam All right, hold on. We're right on the rectal prolapse here.

7:30 Drew This part can flip out.

7:32 Adam Oh, man.

7:33 Drew Turn inside out through that hole.

7:34 Adam Oh, baby.

7:35 Drew So all this can come down.

7:37 Adam Yeah. Drew's showing me the drawing of the rectum. That's nice. Yeah, I'm not into that. Ryan? Yeah. You're not into that rectal prolapse, are you? No, I don't think so. All right, but then how would she get it back in, Drew? You don't know? I bet she can get it back in.

7:55 Drew When the old people push it back in.

7:56 Adam Oh, they have grips and stuff. Push it back in. Right? You mean when you get really old and you're on the toilet and you're going number two, you can spit your rectum out?

8:04 Drew Yeah.

8:05 Adam Like it's like false teeth or something? And then you push it back in? Drew, you kill me if that ever happens, all right?

8:13 Drew I'll be sure to.

8:13 Adam Ryan?

8:14 Yeah.

8:14 Adam What's going on?

8:16 I met this girl on this phone chat line and I told her I was 19 and she was 18 and she lives up in Northern California. I don't know where, pretty far though. And she's really been wanting to see me and I'm about out of excuses and telling her why I can't come see her. And I was wondering if I should tell her or not.

8:38 Adam Where do you live?

8:39 I live in LA.

8:41 Adam Well, you live far enough apart that you have an excuse, don't you?

8:45 Yeah, but I mean, you know, I mean, what if she comes down here or something? You know, I mean, it could happen.

8:50 Adam Can't you still say you're 19?

8:52 Caller Yeah.

8:53 Adam Can't you still say you're 19?

8:55 Caller Yeah.

8:56 Adam OK, so say you're 19.

9:00 Caller Well, I don't look 19.

9:02 Adam You don't?

9:02 Caller No, I mean, I look my age.

9:04 Drew And this relationship.

9:05 Adam Yeah, but she's probably not 18, is she?

9:07 Caller No, I don't think she is.

9:09 Drew Well, whatever.

9:09 Adam What do you think she is?

9:11 Caller I don't know. I think she's about 16 or 17.

9:13 Adam Why?

9:14 Caller I don't know. Just the way she acts and talks.

9:17 Adam Have you seen any pictures of her?

9:18 Caller No. She's supposed to be sending me a picture of her.

9:21 Adam Yeah. She's probably waiting for the next issue of SANCY to come out so she can clip out something of Jennifer Love Hewitt and send it to you. All right, Ryan. Hey Ryan, you gotta meet chicks in your own town. You understand?

9:34 Drew Oh, and stop smoking so much pot, Ryan.

9:36 Adam Stop smoking the weed. And lay off the video games, would you?

9:40 Drew Yeah. Ryan, you smoke pot every day, right?

9:42 Caller Huh?

9:43 Drew You smoke pot pretty much every day?

9:44 Caller Nah. Like every couple of weeks. Just whenever I feel like it.

9:49 Drew How often is that?

9:50 Huh?

9:51 Caller You know, just whenever I'm in the mood, it's not every day.

9:54 Drew Every other day?

9:55 Caller Yeah, something like that.

9:56 Drew Okay, that sounds okay. Well, how dare I?

9:59 Adam Every couple of weeks, every other day. Why can't you meet women at your school?

10:04 Caller Yeah, I do, you know, but I mean, I was just on this line, you know, and I just met her, you know?

10:09 Adam Right.

10:10 Caller You know, she was nice, so I got her phone number, and we've been talking for like four months.

10:15 Adam Really? And that voice doesn't sound like a 19-year-old voice, does it? I mean, what does her voice sound like?

10:25 Caller She's got a real high voice.

10:27 Adam Okay. Ryan, forget about it. Okay, goofball?

10:32 Caller Yeah, and hey, I pee in the sink, too.

10:34 Caller All right.

10:36 Adam Good man.

10:36 Drew You hear that laugh?

10:37 Adam Yeah. When I get on that Vicodin intro, it's gonna be a whole new me.

10:42 Drew Yeah.

10:43 Adam Does that make you sleepy?

10:44 Drew Just what we need.

10:45 Adam Does Vicodin make you sleepy?

10:46 Drew Not when you're an addict. Kind of jacks you up if you're an addict.

10:50 Adam So that'll be the litmus test for me, huh?

10:52 Drew Indeed will be.

10:53 Adam I think it'll make me sleepy. Can you take it with booze? That'll make you sleepy, right? I don't mean a fifth of scotch. I just mean like a glass of red wine. That'll do you up, right?

11:05 Drew You're just making sure since you can't make it a day without that glass of wine.

11:07 Adam Oh, I need that wine. I need to get some wine in the studio. John.

11:12 Caller Yeah.

11:14 Adam You're 15.

11:15 Caller Yeah, I'm 15. You're right.

11:16 Adam I was just thinking, I drink a glass of wine every night when I get home.

11:19 Drew I know.

11:20 Adam I'm spinning out of control.

11:21 Drew You're already planning. I can only take the opiate if I can have my wine with it.

11:25 Adam Oh, no, no, no. I'll take the opiate without the wine. But I like the extra kick of the wine on top of the opiate. John?

11:35 Caller Yeah?

11:36 Adam You're 15.

11:37 Caller Yeah, I am.

11:38 Adam What's going on?

11:39 Caller How do you re-girl singles, dude?

11:45 Drew Oh, if they hang around you and seem to want to be around you, that's all you need to know.

11:53 Caller So I got this girl that was doing that to me and then I found out she didn't like me very much later.

11:57 Adam How did you find that out?

11:59 Caller Oh, like, she pretty much told me.

12:01 Drew Uh-huh.

12:02 Caller Yeah.

12:03 Adam Yeah. Why do you think she was around you in the first place?

12:07 Caller I don't know.

12:08 Drew Was it around you and some friends?

12:10 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

12:11 Drew Maybe she was in to some of the friends.

12:13 Caller Maybe, but she was kind of flirting with me at the same time, you know.

12:16 Adam Well, women, a woman can't change her mind. That is something that is interesting, and it's a factor that we don't really talk about too much. Let me discuss something with my partner, Drew, here. And you may want to join in here if you like. I've often said that women will let you know when they're interested, and like Drew just said, they'll do it by hanging out with you, and they'll generally be agreeable. You say to them, you know, you just say something like, boy, I'm hungry, and they'll go, me too, as opposed to, I just ate. I just ate means I want to go home, and me too means, why don't you ask me out to lunch?

12:52 Drew That's right.

12:53 Adam And women do do that, but women, unlike men, I think, will change their minds sometimes.

13:01 Drew All of a sudden.

13:01 Adam Yeah, they will do it all of a sudden. Not usually that day, but you may be hanging around the woman and you may go, hey, I'm hungry, or hey, I haven't seen that movie. And they'll go, me neither, or I'm hungry too. And you'll go out to lunch or whatever. And then you'll see them the next day and you'll go, hey, I'm hungry. And they'll go, I just ate. And that'll be that.

13:20 Drew That's it. But something, and that will be it.

13:22 Adam But men don't do that. I mean, if a man decides, hey, I'm into this person and I want them to ask me out or I want to go out with them, they're in it for a while.

13:31 Drew Pitbull.

13:32 Adam Yeah. I mean, maybe after they get some gnocchi or something or something. Right.

13:38 Because I mean, a lot of times people go out on a date and the guy won't call.

13:41 Drew Think about that. Well, he's not interested. He's not into it.

13:44 Adam No.

13:44 But so guys change their minds.

13:46 Drew No. A guy will go, a guy will be into it. You could kick him in the teeth. You could throw a hand grenade at him. He won't stop until he has sex and then he's done.

13:54 Adam Then he'll be done.

13:55 Drew Then he's done. Is that bizarre? Think about that. Think about that behavior.

13:59 Adam Yeah. Okay. That's maybe even more despicable, but I still don't understand women when they do that. I'm interested and I haven't really even sampled the goods.

14:07 Drew That's a screwed up thing, too, as women go, oh, I'm into that guy. And the guy says something with some weird nuance and she goes, oh, oh, oh, forget it. I'm out.

14:16 Adam Okay. So really, because really what that is, Anne, is I'm into this guy. As long as I figure he's not into me. But as soon as I find out he's into me, then I can scratch him off the list.

14:27 Or something you find out that he's into that you're not into.

14:30 Or no, but that's what the dating thing is. Is you kind of, you know.

14:34 Drew The guys don't do that.

14:36 Adam No, guys, guys, guys do it until they either have sex or find out they can't have sex.

14:41 Drew They absolutely can't have.

14:42 Adam Absolutely. Yeah. They get a court order that states they can no longer have sex with this person. Okay.

14:49 So both sides are screwed up.

14:50 Drew Yeah. And by the way, we're giving renditions of screwed up males and females. Not the best either have to offer.

14:56 Adam Yeah. They're both. They're both screwed up. But GIO usually keep going if he's in it for the first date or two. If he's attracted enough to go out in the first couple. All right. Where the hell are we here, Drew? Lisa.

15:11 Hello.

15:11 Adam You're 18.

15:12 Caller Yes.

15:13 Adam What's going on?

15:14 Caller I have a boyfriend and we've been together for about three months. And he met this guy who is going to pay for his apartment and furnish his apartment and pay for him to go to acting classes.

15:35 Adam Yeah.

15:36 Drew And what does he have to do for all this?

15:38 Adam Musical theater or just regular acting?

15:43 Caller Dance classes, acting classes.

15:47 Adam Tamp or modern?

15:48 Caller Classes.

15:50 What does he have to do for it?

15:51 Caller He, the guy says he wants nothing but a friendship.

15:56 Drew Oh, please.

15:57 Adam How old is this guy and what color is his scarf?

16:00 Caller He is like 50, like pushing 50 at least.

16:04 Adam I love that old queen thing. Yeah. How old is your boyfriend?

16:08 Caller 21.

16:09 Adam Is he good looking?

16:10 Caller Yeah.

16:11 Adam Well, of course you are going to say that. Yeah.

16:14 Caller What did you say?

16:16 Adam Is your boyfriend gay?

16:19 Caller No, he is not gay, but we have had conversations about, like, I would ask him...

16:25 Drew Hold on a second. Reenactment.

16:28 Adam Never defend my heterosexuality. Please, please. You go ahead and ask.

16:32 Drew So is your boyfriend gay? And when we have this conversation, we're asking what...

16:52 Adam We did have this. Lisa?

16:54 Caller Yeah.

16:54 Adam Is your boyfriend gay?

16:56 Caller No.

16:56 Adam Okay. But what did you have the conversation about?

17:01 Caller I asked him if he was bi.

17:03 Drew And?

17:03 And he denied it.

17:05 Drew He's gay.

17:06 Adam But when he says he denied it, to me, it sounds like you don't believe it. Because usually when you believe him, you say, I asked him if he was bi and he said, no.

17:16 Caller I think he's not sure.

17:18 Adam Why do you think that?

17:21 Caller I don't know.

17:22 Drew He's a kept man.

17:23 Caller What?

17:24 Adam I don't know.

17:24 Caller Hold on. Hold on.

17:25 Adam Let me yell at Lisa for a second. I'm done. Quiet down, Drew. Hey, Lisa?

17:29 Caller Yes.

17:29 Adam What do you mean you don't know? Stop this. What are you talking about? Your boyfriend, why do you think he's gay?

17:34 Caller I don't think he's gay. Okay.

17:36 Adam Well, then stop answering the questions that way.

17:39 Caller Okay. I don't think he's gay. I don't think he's bi.

17:41 Adam Okay. Well, then stop it.

17:43 Caller I know he's into women.

17:45 Adam Okay, then. Why are we going through this dance then?

17:48 Caller Because this is such a weird situation.

17:51 Adam Well, he's poor. He's desperate. He's got some old queen. He probably doesn't know the guy's gay.

17:57 Drew Oh, please. Was he sexually abused? Your boyfriend, was he sexually abused when he was a kid?

18:01 Caller I'm not sure.

18:04 Adam I'm done with you, Lisa. Screw you.

18:06 Caller I'm not sure.

18:07 Adam I'm done with that crap. Go screw yourself.

18:09 Drew Look, she also said he's not sure about his bisexuality. He's not sure. He's not sure. She's afraid to find out what's really going on here because she knows. Wait a minute.

18:18 Adam Wait a minute. I'm mad now. Lisa?

18:20 Yeah.

18:20 Adam Do you have any reason to believe that he was sexually abused when he was a child?

18:26 No.

18:27 Adam No.

18:27 Drew It's another no.

18:29 Adam All right. Listen.

18:30 Drew Boy, these hesitations.

18:32 Adam I'm done with her. Let's take someone else. I'm sorry for being a prick, but I don't know why I got a short fuse. And I don't want to go through that dance with our stupid callers. You know, right? I don't know. And it's just long, dramatic pauses. Give me a break. I mean, why are you doing it? It's like it's jacking us around. Do you think the guy's gay? I mean, now she says he's not gay and he's not bi, but she does a long pause before every time she answers. Now we got a rebound here, Drew. Bob?

19:01 Hello?

19:01 Adam You're 16.

19:02 Caller Yeah, my mom thinks I'm gay.

19:04 Adam It's true. Why?

19:06 No, well, because I want to get piercings.

19:09 Adam Where?

19:10 My ears and I've had one of my nipples pierced and I've had my nuts pierced. And I pluck my eyebrows because they're big and thick and they're gross.

19:19 Yeah.

19:20 Adam Well, how far down do you pluck them?

19:23 Not very far. I pluck part of them and shave part of them.

19:27 Drew Are you gay?

19:28 Caller No.

19:29 Adam All righty. What's with the sack piercing?

19:32 Well, me and my friend dared me to.

19:35 Adam Yeah.

19:35 Caller And I did.

19:39 Drew I think what your friends would have, if you were in high school.

19:42 Adam That would have been a ball.

19:43 Drew Oh my God. You look like, what's the saint with the arrows through the ball? I mean, you'd look like some sort of a war victim.

19:50 Adam Yeah.

19:52 Drew A hand grenade went off around you.

19:53 Adam Who, seriously?

19:54 Drew Just all on bats, on dares.

19:56 Adam Who pierced your scrotum?

19:58 I did.

19:59 Adam What did you do it with?

20:00 I did it with a sewing needle.

20:02 Drew Oh my God.

20:03 Adam And I used a hoop hearing.

20:05 Drew Oh my God.

20:07 Adam What's wrong with you?

20:08 Nothing.

20:09 Adam Something's wrong with you.

20:10 Drew That can get infected and you can lose your genitalia.

20:13 What?

20:15 Adam You gotta have something wrong with you.

20:17 Well, I mean, no, not really.

20:19 Adam Come on, seriously.

20:20 Well, I was molested when I was a little kid, but.

20:22 Adam There you go. Now we're getting somewhere.

20:24 Drew Except for that, everything's fine.

20:25 Adam All right. So why? So now you're taking everything out on yourself, right?

20:31 Caller Not really.

20:31 Adam Yeah.

20:32 Caller I don't see nothing wrong with it.

20:33 Adam Now, I know you don't, but I'm telling you there is. And that's why we knew somebody tampered with you. And now you're sort of getting to yourself before.

20:44 Drew Somebody else gets in.

20:44 Adam Somebody else gets in.

20:45 Drew Yeah.

20:46 Adam You know what I'm saying?

20:47 Yeah. How can I prove to my mom that I'm not, though?

20:51 Adam You got to cut down a tree.

20:53 Cut down a tree?

20:54 Adam Yeah. Big redwood.

20:56 Drew I bet you are a sexual compulsive, though, right?

20:59 Yeah.

20:59 Drew Yeah.

20:59 Adam And your mom may be on to something, though.

21:01 Drew Yeah.

21:02 Adam What happened? Does your mom know about you being molested?

21:04 Caller Yeah. I went through counseling.

21:06 Adam All right.

21:06 Drew So she's afraid that that's what's happening here.

21:08 Adam What?

21:08 Caller She went through, like, my uncle was gay.

21:12 And he got his ear pierced and stuff. And she thinks, you know, my mom's a nut.

21:16 Adam Does she know that your testicles or that your scrotum is pierced?

21:21 Caller No.

21:21 Adam She doesn't?

21:22 Caller No.

21:22 She found a letter because I was telling my friend about it.

21:25 This is CYA.

21:27 And she thought it was just a, I told her I was just lying with him, just lying to him.

21:32 Adam CYA?

21:33 Yeah.

21:34 Drew California Youth Authority.

21:35 Adam Oh, baby. When were you molested?

21:39 Caller When I was, like, five years old.

21:41 Adam Five? Yeah. Who did that?

21:43 My cousin.

21:44 Adam Oh, boy. How old was he?

21:46 Um, like, 15 or 16.

21:48 Oh, boy.

21:49 Adam All right. So, you did some counseling?

21:51 Caller Yeah.

21:52 Adam And that worked out?

21:53 No.

21:55 Adam But listen, you're having a lot of troubles, aren't you, Bob?

21:58 Caller Yeah.

21:58 Adam Yeah. All right. So, here's what I want you to do, Bob. Just stop doing stuff. You know, stop piercing yourself, stop shaving stuff. You know, just relax, would you? Okay. I mean, seriously, Bob, listen to me. I'm 35. I know everything. I'm an old person and I've been there. And here's what you need to do. Somebody screwed with you, your family's all screwed up. I don't know what kind of guy your dad is and what kind of woman your mom is. You hate your dad?

22:29 Caller Yeah.

22:30 Adam Okay, perfect.

22:30 Drew Sports.

22:31 Adam Stop acting out, though. Can you just play sports or something?

22:35 Caller I hate sports.

22:36 Adam I know. I know, but it's a great outlet. You get to beat the crap out of other kids your own age. I know, but all you're doing is beating the crap out of yourself. God knows. What are you doing? What's your hair like?

22:48 Caller My hair? Well, the front of it's bleached.

22:51 Caller I've dyed it like 40, I've dyed it like a lot of times in my whole life.

22:55 Adam And you're all pissed off. And then one day, when you show up with your pierced scrotum and your three-toned hair and you don't get the job at the video store...

23:03 Caller I do have a job. Where?

23:05 I clean up classrooms.

23:07 Adam Oh, really?

23:08 Caller Yeah.

23:09 Adam I let you work around Chalk?

23:11 Caller No, I like at my school.

23:14 Adam OK. All right. So pay OK?

23:16 Caller Yeah.

23:17 Adam OK. But you're going to have a difficult time getting a job where you have to deal with other people or deal with the public. You know what I mean? So, Bob, do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. Forget about your mom. Just stop piercing yourself, you know, let your hair grow, go to its natural color and just stop freaking out. Can you do that? Just stop acting out. It's a much easier life. I'm telling you. I mean, I know you're not ready to do it. I know you're going to do it anyway. You're going to have a lot of years of this. You're going to get into trouble. People are going to mysteriously pick on you, pick on you because you're different. They're going to single you out because you're so different. But you'll realize one day that you just brought it all on yourself and had nothing to do with them. It's just your screwball cousin screwed with you and your dad's an idiot.

24:01 Drew My favorite part about this last call, though, was what's wrong with you? Me? Nothing.

24:06 Adam Nothing.

24:08 Drew CYA., molested by my cousin, scrotum, barbell.

24:13 Adam All right. So we're going to take ourselves a break. Drew, who are we going to talk to when we come back? Where are you going?

24:18 Drew Matthew.

24:18 Adam To the phone? Yeah. What's he want?

24:21 Drew Wants to know if he's a pedophile.

24:22 Adam Oh, that's good. All right. We'll talk to him after this.

24:26 Caller For more than three decades, her music has rocked our world, endured the test of time, and given us something to believe in. Now, topping the charts with the biggest selling single and album of her career, The Summer belongs to Cher. Cher, live in concert at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Sunday, August 29th at 9 p.m. I feel so liquidy. Really, why?

24:58 Caller You're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

25:02 Caller Loveline will be right back.

25:14 Caller Man turns animal for the erotic pleasures of women.

25:18 Caller It's Loveline.

25:19 Adam Alright. Hey, hey, hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Just talking to Drew during the break about my little hand surgery. I told the doctor, by the way, give me the general. He said, well, if we put you out, that's a little more dangerous.

25:51 Drew A lot more dangerous.

25:52 Adam You don't come back. And I said to him, listen, no problem, no problem. I'll never know.

25:57 Drew That's why I told him the same thing.

25:58 Adam I'll sign everything. No one will sue. I said, it's got to be one of the best ways to go. He goes, yeah, there's a lot worse ways. Damn right there is. I really, I don't, Drew, is that morbid or weird? I'm not really, I wouldn't be that scared to go that way. It's not a big deal to me.

26:14 Drew Why put yourself in that harm's way?

26:16 Adam Well, because there's only a 30 percent chance you'll die.

26:20 Drew There you go.

26:21 Adam And 70 percent chance, you know, you'll make it. And otherwise, you know, you may be in some pain or discomfort or something.

26:29 Drew Of course, we wouldn't want that.

26:30 Adam Know what I'm saying? Tell you, I've really blossomed into a full-fledged pussy.

26:35 Drew And did you have?

26:36 Adam I used to be tough as nails.

26:38 Drew You used a complete whip.

26:39 Adam Now, it's a total puss. Yeah. I like it that way. My new celebrity pussy. That's my, that's my new handle, celebrity puss. So, so what's he gonna do? Is he gonna put me out? Am I gonna go out?

26:51 Drew Asleep, yeah.

26:52 Adam I'll go to sleep? Yeah.

26:53 Drew Asleep. You can be asleep without General.

26:55 Adam You can?

26:56 Caller Yeah.

26:57 Adam I thought General was putting you out.

26:59 Drew General's on a breathing machine. They take over.

27:01 Adam Okay. Let's just, let's just do this real quick before we get back to bones. There's local anesthetic, like, okay, they're gonna burn a wart off your foot. They just give you a shot in the foot. Like when you go to the dentist, you get a local. They give you a shot in the gum.

27:13 Drew Right.

27:13 Adam Okay. That's local. Then general, they put you down completely.

27:17 Drew They're regional blocks.

27:19 Adam And they breathe for you.

27:20 Drew Right.

27:21 Adam Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Because you'll just stop breathing. Yeah. Okay. So that's a general. And then there's regional blocks.

27:30 Drew Which is like proximal here. They have a block of nerve that gets the whole arm done.

27:34 Adam Gets the whole arm done. And then what am I getting?

27:37 Drew You're getting probably a local or some sort of regional local, like something in the hand itself. And then what they call twilight or, or, what the hell do they put it?

27:47 Adam Just don't know where you are and don't care?

27:49 Drew Conscious anesthesia or something. They have a nice name for it, a nice euphemism.

27:52 Adam Right. Where you just get really goofy and you just don't care what's happening to you.

27:55 Drew You're asleep basically.

27:57 Adam Yeah. But it's not, you're not out.

27:59 Drew No, you're not under general anesthesia.

28:01 Adam And they, if they're gonna do-

28:03 Drew Conscious sedation, I think they call it.

28:04 Adam They're gonna like open your chest. They gotta put you out, right?

28:06 Caller Yeah.

28:07 Adam Okay. So I can go to sleep, but it's not dangerous.

28:10 Caller Right. Great.

28:12 Adam Matthew?

28:12 Caller Yeah.

28:13 Adam You're 23.

28:14 Caller Yeah.

28:14 Adam I'm really looking forward-

28:15 Caller I'm screwed up, I am.

28:16 Adam Looking forward to this now. So yeah, what's going on with you?

28:23 Caller I don't know. It's like, I'm not only attracted to younger girls, but I'm also attracted to younger girls.

28:30 Caller I'm basically, I don't like girls my age.

28:32 Caller I like either older girls or high school age girls.

28:38 Adam High school, like?

28:39 Caller Yeah, like 16.

28:41 Caller 16, 16, 17.

28:42 Drew What was your high school experience like?

28:45 Caller Not really abnormal, but I mean, you know, I didn't date a lot, but I dated some. You know, I wasn't a jock or I wasn't a nerd. I was kind of just in between just the, you know.

28:58 Drew Yeah, in between loser.

28:59 Caller Yeah.

29:00 Drew Right.

29:00 Caller In between the two extremes, just, you know.

29:02 Adam Okay, hold on. Drew, don't monkey with the pen, please. So, you don't feel like you got it out of your system? Like you dated enough girls that were 16 when you were 16?

29:13 Caller Yeah, kind of. I also, I mean, girls, I don't really get along well on like in a dating atmosphere with girls between the ages of like 19 and 22.

29:24 Adam Yeah.

29:25 Caller I just, I don't like their attitude.

29:26 Adam That's it. I call that the devil's triangle. 19, 20 and 21. That's trouble. Yeah. Yeah.

29:33 Caller It's kind of like girls that age. Well, girls that are older than that.

29:37 Adam No, say no more. I know, right? What you mean?

29:39 Caller Yeah.

29:40 Drew Those, they have to be born in the fall though.

29:41 Adam 22 and a half, 18 and a half.

29:44 Drew Summer of 20.

29:45 Adam That's a totally different animal there. Yeah. Make perfect sense. I know, but I mean. Yeah, right. Okay.

29:52 Caller Does that mean I'm a pedophile?

29:53 Adam Well, here's the deal. You say 16, but you really mean 14, don't you?

30:01 Caller It depends on how they look, you know?

30:03 Caller I mean, I'm not attracted to all 15 year olds, just the cute ones. Hold on.

30:06 Adam Let me write that down. Attracted to all 15 year olds. And so there's a 15 year old that was 400 pounds and covered with hair. You want to be attracted?

30:16 Caller No.

30:17 Adam To her.

30:18 Caller Okay.

30:18 Adam Let me make a note of that. And have you dated any 15 year olds?

30:22 Caller Not while I was 23.

30:24 Caller You know, I mean, I pretty much, I don't anymore because, you know, all those little pesky laws and stuff, you know.

30:30 Drew Pesky laws.

30:31 Adam Okay.

30:31 Caller But, you know, I mean, when I was like 19, 20, even a little bit when I was 21, I was dating high school girls here and there.

30:37 Adam All right. But it seems to me, Matthew, you just don't like women. That's what it sounds like to me. You like girls, but you don't really like women.

30:45 Caller Well, no, I like older women.

30:47 Adam Like how old?

30:48 Caller 24, 25, 27, you know.

30:50 Adam You're 23. Is a 24 year old woman much older than an older woman?

30:56 Drew Can you tell the difference?

30:57 Caller Well, I mean, I'm saying, like I said, between like 19 and 22, 23, they have like these attitudes.

31:03 Adam Okay. All right. Why don't you date a 24 year old?

31:06 Caller But I mean, just because I'm attracted to him, does that necessarily mean I'm a pedophile?

31:10 Adam No. I don't think you're a pedophile.

31:13 Caller Okay.

31:13 Adam Okay.

31:14 Drew I think it means you're an a-hole though.

31:15 Adam You're a little bit of an a-hole, but I don't really think you're a pedophile. So you're fine. So just date the 24 year olds.

31:21 Drew Look, you are accountable for your behavior. These pesky laws are there for a reason.

31:25 Adam Oh, I know. I know. He's not going to do anything.

31:28 Drew He has though. He's an a-hole. He's just kind of an a-hole that dates all the 14 year olds and 15 year olds that we have to talk to or confuse.

31:36 Adam He's more of a jerk.

31:37 Drew Asshole.

31:38 Adam Thank you, Drew. Mandy.

31:42 Caller Hi.

31:42 Adam You're 14.

31:43 Caller Yeah.

31:44 Adam You ever went out with Matthew?

31:45 Caller No.

31:46 Adam No?

31:47 Caller No.

31:47 Adam All right. Keep your windows wide.

31:50 Caller All right. I'm going to see a doctor in a few days because I haven't got my period in about seven months. I'm really scared and I just want to know what I can expect and what can cause this.

32:00 Drew You can expect possibly to do a pelvic exam on you. You get some blood work for sure, and a general physical exam. Did you have normal periods before this sort of slowed up?

32:10 Caller Not really. Yeah.

32:11 Drew It can be normal for somebody your age as things get started before normal cycling really establishes yourself. It can be a thyroid problem, it can be ovarian cyst or polycystic ovarian syndrome. Do you have any excess body hair or anything like that?

32:26 Caller No.

32:26 Drew You have any blood pressure problems, something called congenital adrenal hyperplasia?

32:30 Caller Blood pressure runs in my family.

32:32 Drew I doubt that's it. There's hypothalamic pituitary axis dysfunction, which is just sort of... Are you underweight?

32:39 No.

32:40 Caller I'm about 170.

32:42 Drew You're overweight though, right? How tall are you? How tall are you?

32:46 Caller How old are you?

32:47 Drew Okay. So it may have something to do with your weight, because the adipose tissue produces a lot of estrogen. It can make it difficult for cycling to establish itself. So it might have something to do with that.

32:57 Adam Yeah. We always hear about underweight women with the period. I don't hear about overweight women with the period.

33:02 Drew Overweight women don't have, sometimes, abnormal cycling, abnormal bleeding. And this is early on in her menstrual... in her menarche, in the initiation of the menstrual periods.

33:11 Adam What's that called?

33:11 Drew Menarche.

33:14 Adam That's the cycle of the cycle.

33:16 Drew The beginning of having menstrual periods.

33:18 Adam The menarche is?

33:19 Drew Yeah. And menopause.

33:22 Adam That's when the menopause stops? Shouldn't they call it henna?

33:27 Drew Henna?

33:28 Adam That's right.

33:28 Drew Hema?

33:29 Adam Well, yeah. Hema. Yeah. What's menopause? It should be called chica. What's menopause? Drew, look up menopause. I know what the... Okay, hold on. You know, my grandmother told me the other day. She said, I like it when you look up words. That's good. And, you know, she's tough with the complements. I think that's a good part of the show. We're learning, Drew. Curtis.

33:55 Drew Yes.

33:56 Adam You're 26.

33:57 Caller Correct, I am.

33:58 Adam What's going on?

33:59 Drew Well, I was wondering... Hold on, MENO, C-Men.

34:01 Adam Is that a prefix, that MENO?

34:03 Drew Well, it's MENO is here and it says C-Men, M-E-N.

34:07 Adam Yeah.

34:07 Drew And then MEN, my goodness.

34:12 Adam Oh, Drew, get it straight before you.

34:14 Drew From Greek, month, more at moon or menstruation.

34:19 Adam Uh-huh, so it's like part of the month.

34:21 Drew Yeah.

34:22 Adam Interesting. Try to think of some other MENO thing with month. Hi, Curtis. Hello. Hey.

34:29 Caller Hey, I was wondering if I could ask a question for Dr. Drew. There's a two part to it. I was wondering if I could give a quick little background for the question.

34:37 Drew It's already not being very quick, so.

34:39 Caller Okay. Basically, just in a nutshell, I'm 26. Between ages four and eight, I was molested by a variety of neighbors. I was also sodomized by my brother, who's about eight years older than me.

34:53 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

34:56 Caller Yeah.

34:58 Caller This went on for several years when I became a teenager.

35:02 Drew I had a curiosity, just because I immediately have a freaking panic attack about my own kids. How did that go on without your parents knowing it?

35:09 Caller Actually they knew.

35:11 Drew Oh my God.

35:11 Caller And this is what will lead up to my next part. When I'm a teenager, my family is a very powerful family. All the neighbors, boys who molested me, they're all very wealthy families. When I was a teenager and up there, I got involved in the family business, into real estate and so forth, made a lot of money. I had repressed.

35:30 Drew As a teenager?

35:32 Caller Yes. I was an assistant realtor, and then when you turn 18, you can get your real estate license.

35:39 Adam Yeah, my folks, wait a minute. Nope, they did nothing for me, actually. I asked them for a second.

35:44 Drew They didn't have your ritualistic abuse either.

35:46 Adam That's true.

35:47 Caller So I was basically taught a lot of lying and a lot of deceiving. My mom's a gambling, very huge addict. She'll pay about $10,000 a hand when she plays 21. But what happened is I was basically a chaotic teenager because of all the mess that had happened, but I had had it repressed. I went out of the state. I went to go serve a mission for my church, and all the memories came flooding back.

36:15 Drew You're Mormon?

36:16 Caller Yes, I'm Mormon. I'm LDS.

36:18 Adam All right. Hold on a second there, Curtis.

36:20 Drew Yes.

36:20 Adam Because we got to take a little break.

36:22 Caller Okay. Sorry to take so much time.

36:24 Adam No, that's fine. This is an interesting story. You grew up in this church of Latter-day Saints. Is that what that LDS is?

36:32 Caller Yes, Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons.

36:35 Adam They don't have anyone called BFD, do they?

36:39 Caller I have, I'm not familiar with that.

36:40 Adam That'd be good. I'm going to work something like a church out of that. We're going to have to work around it. I'm BFD. And you grew up in this very rich, influential, powerful neighborhood and all these screwed up kids did horrible things to you, including your own brother.

36:55 Drew The family knew about it.

36:56 Adam And the family's rich and they knew about it. This is all good. I mean, it's not good for you, but it's good radio. So hold on. We're going to take a break and then we'll get to the bottom of all this, okay? All right, Curtis. We'll be back with more Curtis after this.

37:11 Caller The phone number for Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:16 Caller Loveline, I'll be right back.

37:39 Adam It is Loveline, and I think we'll go back to the phones over here. Curtis?

37:44 Caller Yes.

37:45 Adam All right, so let me finish this M&M. Let me do a little recap here.

37:49 Caller OK.

37:50 Adam You were molested by the neighborhood kids.

37:53 Caller And sodomized by my older brother.

37:55 Adam Right.

37:55 Caller That went on for about four or five years.

37:57 Adam How much older is your older brother?

37:59 Caller He's about seven and a half years older than me, and I know that by legality that over five years, it's actually against the law.

38:06 Drew You sound amazingly together for what you've been through.

38:09 Caller Well, I want to keep getting to it. I mean, I don't mean to keep stilling. But OK, keep going.

38:15 Adam Well, let me let me keep re-camping.

38:17 Drew Wild teenager.

38:19 Adam So then because you're a Mormon, you went and did your missionary work.

38:23 Caller I was called to serve what is a 24 month mission about three months into my mission because of all the stress and everything. I had a complete re recall of being raped as a child. And it was too traumatic and basically got put back on the plane and came back to where I was from.

38:41 Adam Let me ask you about that missionary business.

38:45 Caller Yes.

38:45 Adam If you, you know, know a few local guys, can you can you, you know, get a in town gig or do you got to go out of town?

38:54 Caller No, you send in your papers to the missionary office, which is in Salt Lake City, Utah. They assign you a area where you will proselyte for two years if you're a man and 18 months if you're a woman.

39:07 Adam And that area could be anywhere in the world?

39:09 Caller It could be anywhere in the world. I was in North Carolina. There are, I think probably about 202 missions in the United States and about another 200 throughout the world. I've got a friend in Russia now and you could be anywhere.

39:24 Adam Yeah. Are there any garden spot missions, any good gigs?

39:29 Caller I really don't know. I haven't really. I've been home off my mission for 7 years now.

39:35 Adam So I got a whole bunch of questions. When you go to your mission, what do you do there?

39:39 Caller Well, first of all, since I was in the States, I went to what was called the Missionary Training Center, which is for 3 weeks. And you learn how to basically teach the LDS faith and talk about Christ. And then you just go to your area and just basically provide community service, a lot of tracking where you go door to door and you knock at people's doors and stuff like that. For those who go foreign, they're in the MTC for up to 8 to 10 weeks because they have to learn the language. They go in not knowing the language. They'll get a call to like the Ecuador Mission and they'll have to learn Spanish in like 8 weeks.

40:15 Adam Oh boy.

40:15 Caller Or wherever they go, they have to learn the language. And I know the longest one is about 14 weeks, like to learn Russian and stuff like that.

40:24 Adam So your brother is 7 years older than you are.

40:27 Caller Correct.

40:28 Adam And when did he start sodomizing you?

40:32 Caller My earliest recollections go back to about the age of 4.

40:35 Adam And it went on to 9.

40:37 Caller It went on, the sodomy went on to 7. The molesting still went on to 9. Then my mom decided to get in the gig.

40:46 Adam Really?

40:46 Caller Yeah, it's a real one of those 6 stories. I hope I'm not...

40:51 Adam No, this is good.

40:52 Caller This isn't a typical LDS family.

40:54 Adam No, I know, this is probably not even 50% of them do this kind of thing.

41:01 Caller It comes down to very bad addictions in my family and a lot of denial.

41:07 Adam What did your mother do to you?

41:10 Caller Hers was kind of a little different. She would actually, all the way up to almost 12, she would like to just take naps with me and hold me.

41:19 Adam That's not too bad.

41:21 Caller It just made me feel very weird.

41:23 Adam Yeah, but after the sodomy from your brother, you had to be looking forward to that nap.

41:28 Caller I pretty much, like I said, by the age of 12, 13, I had forgotten it. It never happened. It had been a very, even though I was chaos, I was a nymphomaniac, just lucky I never raped anybody or hurt anybody, but I was just a loose cannon.

41:45 Adam And your brother, what became of him?

41:49 Caller That's a whole other story. That's the part where I'll get to now, is I ended up coming home off my mission early because of the anxiety attacks and severe panic, and came home off my mission and was, of course, saying my brother was doing this to me and other neighbors. Well, my parents, because I was accusing my parents and my brother, and at the time they were younger, but now they're older, influential people, they had to shut me up. So they had a really great insurance program and lots of money, and they put me into a neuropsychiatric institute. I spent about a month in there. And while I was in the hospital, the people who victimized me, two of my brothers, and another one of my brother, who was actually also was harmed, I believe his was just to oral, but never was penetrated, they pulled them all into a room. The psychiatrist did and asked, you know, what went on with the family? And they all, you know, we have a fine family. Look at us, we're picture perfect. We're mother and father together. We're a large family. We're affluent. So to make a long story short, I took the MMPPI, did all these, met with all the psychiatrists after a year of showing a lot of symptoms. The psychiatrist was very baffled, and finally just wrote me down as a person suffering from paranoid delusional disorder and schizoaffective. At that point, I then got put on the government program where I received SSI, food stamps, Medicaid.

43:24 Drew What's your question?

43:26 Caller My question is, does this happen back in 93? When I was transferred to the Davis County Mental Health Center, there was a counselor there, LSCW, who was interested in my case because everything I had said was supposed to be this big hoax. Well, she did some digging. Went up to the hospital, found out that my one brother broke his arm four times in one year. To make a long story short, I got re-diagnosed. Instead of all of this and being put on these strong neuroleptics, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. What I'm getting at, the root of the problem is, I've now been meeting with my counselor, Doris, for about four and a half years. I have also gone to Al-Anon. I also met with Milton, who works for the church. He's an LPC.

44:14 Adam Milton Bradley? Close.

44:18 Drew What's the question, then?

44:19 Caller The question is, I have since got married, have not dated or done anything for several years, just been keeping to myself, working on therapy, and been getting my marbles together, really collecting myself, and to the point where I'm now two semesters up at the university here working towards my LPC. The question is, since I have got married, and I know that when you get married, you're more intimate and more things come forward, I've been married a month now, and I thought that I had pretty much gone over all the hurdles, but the flashbacks are coming back worse, and I'm discovering more like the bestiality was involved.

44:59 Adam Oh, all right, hold on, Curtis, Curtis, we rarely do this, but we gotta go to break again. I've got this top of the hour thing, and this, hold on a second. Drew, this is heavy. Bestiality. I'll tell you what, we'll go to break, and then we'll just wrap it up. Curtis, okay?

45:15 Caller Okay.

45:16 Adam All right, we'll be back.

45:24 Caller We'll be right back.

45:42 Adam It's Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout, and we'll be back with more Loveline in just 10 seconds.

45:50 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

46:05 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. All right, Curtis, we're going to wrap this up. You're 26. Curtis has been to hell and back. Brother sodomized him. Neighborhood boys passed him around like a joint at a Doobie Brothers concert. His mom took naps with him, although we don't know why that's bad. And he came undone when he was doing his missionary work with the LDS. Now, Curtis, you want to know why, even though you've been in therapy for a little while, it's not gotten better?

46:45 Caller Well, it was getting better, I thought, until I got married. And my question is now is pretty much, how much more therapy am I going to require? I've got about six, six to eight weeks, years into this. And I'm just wondering if for Dr. Drew, how much more do I need?

47:02 Drew It depends what your diagnosis is.

47:05 Caller Right now, currently, it's PTSD.

47:07 Adam Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

47:10 Caller Delayed onset.

47:12 Adam Okay.

47:13 Drew Medication would be part of it.

47:14 Adam How about some medication?

47:16 Caller I've actually been medicine free for, I took, I was on Prozac up to about three years ago. I was on the Risperidol, the antipsychotic for quite a while, but I've been medicine free for about three and a half years.

47:28 Drew And maybe you may need some for a little while to try to get things back together.

47:31 Adam Maybe get back on the meds, but hey Curtis. Yes. If half of what you're telling us is true growing up, it's not something that you're going to fix that quickly. I mean, there's people have been in therapy for six years just to get over a dad that didn't come home on time from work. You know what I mean?

47:52 Caller I do. I just, now that I'm a husband and everything.

47:54 Adam I understand, but here's the thing, Curtis. I think you and...

47:59 Drew Just stay in treatment.

48:00 Adam Yeah, you and, it's, you gotta look at what you have as a disease like is if you had any other disease that needed constant attention.

48:11 Drew A chronic illness, yeah.

48:12 Adam Yeah, doesn't mean you can't live with it. It just means, I don't know, you have to go and get on dialysis once in a while or something, right?

48:19 Drew That's absolutely correct.

48:20 Adam I mean, given what you've been through, this is going to take, and here's basically what it is. It's like you've had horrible atrocities done to you, so for an hour, once a week, you got to go in and talk to somebody about it.

48:34 Drew You may have to take some medicine.

48:35 Adam And might take a pill, and that's it.

48:38 Drew It's like you fell out of a building, and the doctors are amazed that you're able to walk still, but you're still going to have to work on it.

48:43 Adam Once a week, you got to go down to the rehab and get on the treadmill. That's it. All things considered, not too bad. I go to the shrink once a week. It's not so bad.

48:53 Drew Are you actually talking to him for a change?

48:54 Adam No, we stopped. We're not in speaking terms anymore.

48:56 Drew I understand that.

48:57 Adam We just sit there.

48:58 Drew Seriously, have you talked about anything important yet?

49:00 Adam Yes. It's all I do is talk to him about important things.

49:03 Drew Like what now? Your guitars or...

49:06 Adam I talk about model airplanes.

49:07 Drew Model airplanes, that's right. Excuse me.

49:08 Adam Guitars, please.

49:09 Drew I have to think about Bruce and his guitars.

49:11 Adam Please, those are for kids, those guitars. I'm talking about model airplanes.

49:15 Drew What else you talked to him about?

49:16 Adam Talked to him about everything. What are you talking about, Drew?

49:19 Drew Does it help you set a date for your wedding?

49:21 Adam No, no, I cannot fire him if he set a date for the wedding. Please. I talked about very important topics, Drew, and you know what? It really turns me off when you talk this way about my relationship with my therapist.

49:34 Drew Have you mentioned your masturbatory habits yet?

49:35 Adam I'm not going to get into my masturbatory habits with my shrink because I told you if I talk about it, I'll begin masturbating. True. Four days a week, it's that a lot?

49:48 Drew Just at least, it must be something because you're afraid to talk to your therapist about it.

49:52 Adam I'm not afraid to talk to my therapist about it. Why bring it up?

49:56 Drew Conveniently forget.

49:57 Adam I'm not going to bring up masturbating. It's in a nice office. He wears a jacket with the suede patches on the elbows.

50:07 Drew I want to place a suggestion. You go in that nice office, you see those great suede elbow pads. You think about talking to him about this subject.

50:15 Adam About masturbation? Why, seriously, why do I got to talk about masturbation?

50:19 Drew My post is telling you, Adam, you got to talk about this stuff.

50:22 Adam I'm just going to see your post next time I masturbate. That's how that's going to translate. Drew, four days a week, come on.

50:29 Drew With a girlfriend.

50:31 Adam She don't masturbate with me.

50:35 Caller How do you bring something like that up?

50:37 Drew You're a therapist? Yeah.

50:38 Adam Yeah.

50:39 Drew You just say, first of all, you should feel free to talk about anything. Yeah, but come on. Secondly, you should just say, hey, my guy I work with on the radio has been giving me a lot of grief and insist I talk to you about this.

50:49 Caller Oh my God.

50:50 Drew Here it is. Here it is.

50:54 Adam Guy I work with. First off, he thinks I'm a drywall contractor.

50:58 Oh my God, if you don't hurry up.

51:02 Drew Oh, she's gone.

51:07 Adam Drew, please. Four days a week. Why do I have to talk about that? I don't talk to them about brushing my teeth and I do that five days a week. Oh, don't give me that pussy either. All right. See, Sasha used the F word, but I'm strangely attracted to Sasha. I want to talk to her. Hey, Sasha.

51:26 Hello.

51:27 Adam You're 20?

51:28 Caller Yup.

51:29 Adam All right. Would you not swear, you little whore?

51:32 Caller Huh?

51:33 Adam You heard me.

51:34 Caller Am I a whore?

51:35 Adam Yes.

51:35 Caller No, I'm not a whore.

51:36 Adam All right. What do you want?

51:39 Caller I was just wondering what the difference was between like when a woman comes and when she has an orgasm or if there was a difference at all.

51:48 Adam No difference.

51:49 Caller There's no difference.

51:51 Adam Actually, I like this answer. It's the same difference.

51:54 Caller Okay. Okay, that's cool.

51:57 Caller Why?

51:58 Caller No, because I was talking to people about it because my boyfriend told me that there was a difference. And I was just like, I don't think so. But then I got all confused. So I started talking to my friends and everyone's just all like, I don't know. And then so I decided to call.

52:14 Drew I appreciate her command of language.

52:16 Adam Yeah. And what do you do? Are you a stripper?

52:19 Caller No.

52:20 Adam What do you do?

52:20 Caller I'm a student.

52:21 Adam Student? I'm going to make a go on a limb here and go for what's junior college yet?

52:27 Caller No, I'm not at a junior college.

52:29 Adam What's below junior college?

52:31 Caller Eww.

52:32 Adam You're too old for high school.

52:33 Caller Huh?

52:34 Adam Drew, is there something between high school and junior college?

52:36 Caller Nope.

52:37 Adam What college do you go to?

52:38 Caller I go to HPU.

52:41 Adam Oh, you're at the Hoopoo?

52:45 Caller Hawaii Pacific.

52:46 Adam Hawaii Pacific?

52:48 Caller Yeah.

52:48 Drew Where are you calling from?

52:49 Caller Oh, I'm in the Sunset Area. Sunset District of San Francisco.

52:56 Adam And there's a Hawaiian Pacific College there?

52:58 Caller No, I'm here on vacation. I'm hanging out with a friend.

53:00 Adam Why do you gotta go on vacation when you go to Hawaii?

53:03 Caller Huh?

53:03 Adam What island is Hawaiian Pacific on?

53:06 Caller Um, Oahu.

53:07 Adam All right. That's a good gig. I didn't know. You know, all I thought I knew there was the University of Hawaii, but that's not that. That's something else, right?

53:15 Caller Yeah. There's a couple of universities.

53:17 Adam Yeah. All right.

53:19 Caller I had another question, too.

53:20 Adam Okay.

53:21 Caller Is it normal or kind of normal for a guy to shoot a blank, like, every once in a while?

53:29 Drew How would you know that?

53:30 Caller Huh?

53:30 Drew How would you know that?

53:31 Caller What do you mean, how would I know that?

53:32 Drew How would you know that a blank is being shot?

53:34 Caller Well, because...

53:36 Drew Sticks a sperm on a semen under a microscope and do a sperm count?

53:39 Caller No. Like, when he's about to come, he'll pull out and nothing will really come out.

53:45 Drew That's not shooting a blank. That's either not orgasming or having retrograde ejaculation.

53:50 Adam Shooting a blank is no sperm.

53:55 Drew In the semen.

53:56 Adam In the semen.

53:56 Caller Oh, okay.

53:57 Adam Know what I'm saying?

53:59 Drew Oh, Sasha.

53:59 Adam What do they teach you at that college?

54:01 Caller Huh?

54:01 Adam Seriously, what are you guys just doing, longboarding all day and getting drunk?

54:06 Caller No, they're just not teaching us about sex.

54:08 Adam Okay. All right. But so every once in a while, you're with your boyfriend and he pulls out and he goes, get ready, baby. I'm going to I'm going to cover you like like a bearskin rug. And he pulls out and nothing comes out.

54:23 Caller Yeah, basically. Like it looks like, you know, like when they pre-ejaculate, like just a little bit comes out.

54:29 Adam Yeah.

54:30 Caller Like that.

54:31 Adam Yeah.

54:31 Drew That's like Adam.

54:32 Caller Yeah.

54:32 Adam That's that's probably because you had sex 20 minutes ago, right?

54:36 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

54:40 Adam Okay.

54:40 Caller And a couple of times and then like the last time.

54:44 Drew Right. His soul is gone.

54:47 Caller But that's normal, right?

54:48 Drew Yeah.

54:48 Adam No, no. More should come out the third time than the first if it's within a 15 minute period.

54:54 Caller More should come out.

54:55 Caller Oh, boy.

54:56 Adam All right, Sasha. Transfer, would you? That's a horrible school you're going to. Listen, you goofball. If something comes out of the guy's penis the first time and then you have sex, you know, 10 minutes later and a little less comes out, is that alarming or doesn't that just make sense?

55:14 Caller I don't know.

55:15 Adam Okay, let's let's substitute sperm for urine. If a guy goes and takes a piss and he just pisses, he takes a good long piss, and then 10 minutes later you tell him, go take another piss and not that much comes out.

55:28 Drew Better call a radio station.

55:29 Adam Is that, is that?

55:31 Caller No, he was just kind of like worried because he's like, that never happened to me before.

55:35 Caller Okay.

55:35 Caller I was just like, all right.

55:36 Adam Well, it's because you just had sex, though.

55:39 Caller Okay.

55:40 Adam Wow.

55:40 Drew Why did you go for that one?

55:42 Adam I wanted to talk to Sasha.

55:44 Drew Wes? Yeah.

55:45 Adam You're 29.

55:46 Caller Yes. Dr. Drew, Adam, I've listened to your show for a few years and I think you guys are pretty good. I just have a question here for you. Adam, I talked to you a couple of years ago. I don't know if you remember or not.

55:59 Caller Oh, yeah.

56:01 Caller I think Dr. Bruce is on at the time. I think Dr. Drew was out. But I had just gotten out of prison. I hit a guy over the head with a carol-sur-a-bottle. Did that ring any bells for you?

56:16 Drew And what happened?

56:19 Adam No, no, it doesn't. So you hit him with a glass bottle on the head?

56:23 Caller Yeah.

56:24 Adam Yeah.

56:27 Caller Anyways, that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. I just wanted to see if you would recognize me for that.

56:34 Adam I'm usually pretty good with that.

56:36 Drew If I had been there, I would have remembered.

56:38 Caller Yeah.

56:38 Adam Prison, hit him on the head of the syrup bottle, carol syrup bottle.

56:43 Drew What's going on, Wes? What's happening around?

56:45 Adam I'm sure he had it coming.

56:46 Caller All right.

56:47 Adam Was he like Bogart in the Flapjacks or something?

56:51 Caller Well, no. Actually, I had a severe head injury and I went into somebody's house and I crawled into bed between a couple. And apparently the guy woke up, as well as the woman, and an altercation occurred to where I had grabbed a bottle and cracked more of the head with it.

57:10 Adam Where? How did you get from the bedroom to where the syrup bottle was?

57:16 Caller Well, apparently they had just moved into the place. But I have no recollection of it.

57:22 Drew I want you to think about that for a second. You're asleep at night and also some guy starts crawling into bed.

57:26 Caller Oh, you know, I can't get it out of my head. I still can't.

57:31 Drew But Adam, I mean, just imagine that.

57:32 Adam Did you just walk in through the bedroom door?

57:35 Caller I don't know. I mean, I just go off of what the police reports say. I cannot remember anything.

57:41 Adam Well, you figure you must have broken into the house, right?

57:44 Caller Yeah.

57:44 Adam And then once you broke into the house, you just walked into the bedroom.

57:48 Caller Yeah.

57:49 Drew Middle of the night?

57:51 Caller Yeah.

57:51 Adam And the guy didn't want, no one woke up until you got in between them?

57:56 Caller Yeah.

57:57 Adam I thought you were the dog or something. That's bizarre. Hey, listen, I haven't given this speech in a while, but everybody put a lock on your bedroom door and lock it when you go to bed. Stops crazy people with syrup bottles from coming in. Absolutely. And not a big lock, not a deadbolt, just little barrel bolt, just nothing. Five bucks over at the Home Depot. Just something so you hear somebody jiggling a little bit. You know, wake up. All right. Anyway, Wes.

58:26 Caller Anyways, I'm not proud of what happened. I don't even remember. I had, like I said, I had temporal lobe brain damage.

58:36 Adam Where'd you get the brain damage?

58:38 Caller I was working down in Spanish Fork in a finger head distribution center. I fell three stories.

58:46 Adam Onto a syrup bottle?

58:47 Caller No. Fell three stories, landed on my head on the concrete. Oh boy.

58:53 Adam So, I have no idea what he said. He was working in a Spanish Fork in a finger hut. What is a finger hut?

59:00 Caller It's a finger hut distribution center. Magazine finger hut. No. It's a catalog company.

59:06 Adam Finger hut?

59:07 Caller Yeah. They're like a marketing chain.

59:10 Adam All right. So anyway, now you're out of prison.

59:13 Caller Anyway, I'm out of prison. My wife divorced me while I was in prison. She married my best friend. I'm having some troubles with that now. I have two kids, two boys. My youngest son told me the other day that he's only my last name when he's at my house, but he's my ex-best friend's last name when he lives at his house. He's like putting this into his head.

59:52 Adam How old is your son?

59:54 Caller My son is seven.

59:55 Adam How old is your other son?

59:57 Caller Nine.

59:58 Adam Oh boy. Do both of them do this or just the seven-year-old?

1:00:03 Caller Just the seven-year-old has said something about it.

1:00:06 Adam Yeah. How often are they at your house half the time and their house the other half?

1:00:11 Caller They come over to my house. I have visitation every other weekend.

1:00:16 Drew Is he actually adopting them?

1:00:18 Caller No.

1:00:19 Drew No.

1:00:21 Adam But they're married.

1:00:22 Caller They're married. He's the stepfather.

1:00:25 Adam Right. Oh boy.

1:00:27 Caller But it just concerned me. I really don't want to need any troubles. I want to just go and beat this guy's ass.

1:00:35 Adam Yeah.

1:00:37 Drew You end up back in jail.

1:00:38 Caller I end up back in there and I just don't know how to address it.

1:00:43 Drew How about talking to your wife?

1:00:46 Caller My ex-wife, I have said something. She denies it. He denies it. I've talked to him.

1:00:52 Drew Well, maybe it's not a big deal. Maybe the stepfather was just sort of referring to the kind of household they're having. You know, if you're in my house, it's going to be done in the way the Smiths run a household, not that your last name is my name.

1:01:09 Adam I can see Wes going over there looking for trouble.

1:01:12 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:01:12 Adam Calling the stepdad out, telling him he wants to introduce him to a friend of his named Aunt Jemima, going upside his head with a big, busty black woman bottle. Two boys, crazy, crazy, chaotic mom, because mom marries best friend while he's in prison. Wonder whose kids the kids are gonna kill. That's the real question. All right, I don't know. Wes, you've had a hard time. You're out of prison. Stay out of prison and don't start looking for stuff.

1:01:52 Drew Doesn't sound like something you should be messing with just now.

1:01:54 Adam And look at it this way. This guy's taking a serious workload off your hands. I mean, you know what? He's married her. They're living together. They're starting a family. You get to visit the kids. Let him buy the braces and pay for the tuition. You know what I mean? Wes, you just, oh boy. Hey, Drew, if you have a brain injury that way and you're not a person who's prone to violence, will you get violent?

1:02:20 Drew You can, sure.

1:02:21 Adam You can't.

1:02:21 Drew Oh yeah.

1:02:22 Adam It can just change your personality.

1:02:24 Drew Completely.

1:02:25 Adam Really?

1:02:26 Drew Well, he had...

1:02:27 Adam If someone hit Gandhi with a coconut, it's possible. He could turn to a badass?

1:02:32 Drew Yeah, first he turned to Mary Anne.

1:02:34 Adam That's right. I think he's one of the other people on the island.

1:02:36 Drew Yeah.

1:02:38 Adam And you know the only way to get his memory back?

1:02:40 Drew Hit him again.

1:02:40 Adam With a coconut. That's right. Michael? Yeah. You're 29.

1:02:45 Caller I sure am.

1:02:46 Adam What's going on?

1:02:47 Caller I had a question. This is something I've been kicking around for the last three or four years. Someone told me once that I had a cleft tongue where the skin's attached close to the tip. And I've noticed when I'm performing oral sex, I can't really stick my tongue out very far. And I was wondering if there was any procedure for clipping that skin back and if it was safe, if it was necessary.

1:03:11 Drew There actually is, but it is not necessary, that's for sure.

1:03:16 Adam If the guy just pushes penis in further, wouldn't it make it up?

1:03:22 Caller Yeah, you would think, but she really likes oral sex.

1:03:25 Adam Oh, I see.

1:03:25 Drew So she has a problem with the way you're doing it?

1:03:28 Caller Not so much a problem.

1:03:29 Adam I was making a gay joke there, Drew, by the way. I know.

1:03:30 Drew Well, we got that.

1:03:32 Caller Thanks for that.

1:03:33 Adam Yeah, she doesn't have a problem with it.

1:03:36 Caller No, not really, but it's something I just thought I would be able to do to help out.

1:03:41 Adam Where should that membrane start, by the way? How far in?

1:03:46 Drew Yours is a little shallow there. Is it?

1:03:49 Adam Yeah, I know, because my tongue is worthless. Yeah. It's only good for getting peanut butter off the roof of my mouth, and that is it. It's the only thing it's good for. Orally, it's like, it's a mess. I might as well just throw a sea sponge at my girlfriend's crotch. It's worthless.

1:04:05 Caller So is there a procedure I can do? I'm really interested in doing that.

1:04:08 Drew Why?

1:04:10 Caller I would just like to be able to do more.

1:04:11 Adam Can you point your tongue?

1:04:13 Caller I can't do anything. It barely gets out over my lip.

1:04:16 Adam Yeah. You mean, you can't point it, you can't roll it, you can't turn around?

1:04:22 Caller Not a thing.

1:04:22 Adam Drew, can you point your tongue?

1:04:24 Drew Uh, can I?

1:04:25 Adam Uh, it's pointier than it normally is. Can you roll it? Can you taco it? No, not that way. The other way? Yeah, you can do a little of that. Some people can do a lot of stuff. I can do nothing.

1:04:38 Drew Oh, my God.

1:04:39 Adam Look like imagine me coming at you with this baby. Oh, and get over here.

1:04:49 Drew Oh, my God.

1:04:50 Adam You know, it's weird. I can do I can do nothing with my tongue, but I'm still solid at oral sex because, you know, I really I pin my ears back.

1:04:58 Drew And I've owned your owned your skills.

1:05:00 Adam I'm like one of these guys who's overcoming a handicap.

1:05:02 Drew Right. You know, Michael, what is it that you're what does she telling you that she would like you to do?

1:05:08 Adam And am I right? Would you chime in here? Come on. Don't be shy.

1:05:11 Caller Just a little bit more as far as penetration.

1:05:14 Drew Penetration.

1:05:15 Caller Plus.

1:05:15 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. With your tongue?

1:05:17 Caller Yeah.

1:05:18 Drew Wait a minute.

1:05:19 Adam How much penetrating does she need with the tongue?

1:05:21 Caller Well, any now, because right now it's nothing.

1:05:25 Drew Then nothing would be normal.

1:05:27 Caller Really? Ah, you mean.

1:05:29 Adam Yeah, you know, you don't normally do too much penetrating with the tongue.

1:05:33 Caller Well, I wouldn't know. I can't.

1:05:35 Adam Yeah, yeah. Now you don't have to do that.

1:05:38 Drew I don't think Michael knows what the hell he's doing. It's the problem here.

1:05:40 Adam Hey, Mike. Don't say that. Well, listen, now here's the deal. Seriously, let me tell you about oral sex. It's it's nasty, dirty, arduous, but someone's got to do it. So here's what you do. You work around the upper part, not really where the opening is, but you move up top there.

1:06:00 Caller I got that.

1:06:01 Adam Yeah. You know, the it's like the to the lighthouse up on the rocks there.

1:06:05 Caller By that equal opportunity, I want to be all over.

1:06:07 Adam Yeah, I know. But they don't need you all over.

1:06:10 Caller All right.

1:06:11 Adam You know what I'm saying? Sort of like your penis. You know what I mean? You don't need stuff all over the side. You don't need the you don't need the testicles played with too much. Just hover around, hover around the top there. You know what I mean? You just hover around the top yourself. And then don't don't don't overcompensate for your for your membrane problem either. Just take it slow. Be rhythmic. You know what I mean? Sounds good. Small circles.

1:06:40 Drew And it's not the tip of the tongue typically.

1:06:43 Adam Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's the flat part there. What I'll do is I'll I'll take a toothpaste and I'll rub it all over my tongue and I'll make the taste buds actually stick out a little bit further on my tongue. You know, I can actually irritate them a little bit just to get that extra cat-like grip, you know?

1:07:05 Drew Yeah, I'm feeling like throwing up anyway.

1:07:08 Adam I'll actually lick a pine tar rag to get just a little extra adhesion. That way it's the chicks will really feel it. It's not doesn't doesn't slide right off there. Let me show you. I bet Drew, seriously with the tongue, how far back is this thing supposed to be?

1:07:24 Drew I'm not sure that there's a range. I can tell that yours is not doing too good though.

1:07:29 Adam Yeah, I think mine feels like about a half inch.

1:07:31 Drew Problem is your tongue is the size of like a football.

1:07:35 Adam Oh, please.

1:07:36 Drew I mean, look at it, it fills your whole mouth.

1:07:38 Adam I'm like a retarded person.

1:07:40 Drew That's what it looked like when you stuck it out. I got news for you.

1:07:43 Adam I do. I know. But I'll tell you, I can still perform that oral sex. I really can.

1:07:48 Drew We got to go to break.

1:07:50 Adam Ask any of my sister's friends.

1:07:51 Drew Becca?

1:07:52 Adam Becca? Yeah. You're 13. Hold on a second. Okay. What's your problem? Real fast.

1:07:58 Caller Well, see, I was at my best friend's house, and her brothers, we're in the living room together, and we're masturbating in front of us.

1:08:05 Adam Okay. Hold on. That's good. Okay. We'll take a little break. I'm going to go look at my tongue in the mirror and see what's wrong with it. We'll be back after this.

1:08:12 Caller Attention, listeners. The rest of the world has just gotten a whole lot smaller. Introducing Big Kenny. Big Kenny, ask your local radio station for candy-colored glasses. Pick up his extra-large debut album in stores October 5th.

1:08:45 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:08:57 It's Loveline.

1:08:59 Caller W-E-B-N.

1:09:07 Adam It is the love in the line. And when we left off, we're speaking to Becca. Becca's 13. Your friend's brother started masturbating in front of you.

1:09:18 Caller Oh, no, like we were in the living room, and we were watching a movie because he was babysitting with us that night.

1:09:22 Drew How old was he?

1:09:23 Caller He's 19.

1:09:24 Drew 19, you're 13, great.

1:09:26 Caller Yeah, and he just like, you know, he like started making noise. Like me and my friend looked over, he's like masturbating.

1:09:32 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:09:35 Drew And he knew the two of you were there.

1:09:36 Caller Yeah, I mean, he was like babysitting us. I mean, I hope he would have known.

1:09:41 Drew Did somebody, well, I mean, is it possible that he thought you weren't in the room?

1:09:46 Caller No, cause we, he went down, he got us the movie. And then we both, we made popcorn, you know, we're all sitting in the living room.

1:09:53 Adam What movie?

1:09:54 Caller Dumb and Dumber.

1:09:55 Adam Dumb and Dumber? He's, he's, he's whacking off to that? Now that's a, that's a prom. The 13 year old girls isn't a prom, but that's brand of Dumb and Dumber. And was it in the middle of the movie?

1:10:10 Caller Yeah, I guess so. I mean, yeah, it was, it was right in the part where.

1:10:16 Adam Okay.

1:10:16 Caller Yeah.

1:10:17 Adam And he's, he's just lying there on the ground, on, on the carpet?

1:10:21 Caller No, he was in a chair.

1:10:22 Adam And you guys were?

1:10:24 Caller On the couch.

1:10:24 Adam On the couch.

1:10:25 Caller Yeah.

1:10:26 Drew Did you tell somebody? Did you tell your parents?

1:10:29 Caller No, my parents went home. All her parents went home.

1:10:31 Drew Could you have told your parents or her parents?

1:10:33 Caller No.

1:10:33 Drew Why not?

1:10:35 Caller Cause like, I don't know.

1:10:36 Adam That's kind of weird. Did, did, did he have his pants down?

1:10:40 Caller No, his hand, his like zipper was down and his hand was in his pants.

1:10:45 Adam Yeah.

1:10:45 Drew What did you guys do?

1:10:46 Adam Was he, are you sure he wasn't, a lot of guys watch TV that way, by the way.

1:10:50 Caller So, his like, it was unbuttoned, you know, and his hand was, and his hand was like in his underwear and it was like.

1:10:55 Drew And what did you guys do?

1:10:56 Caller We like said, ew, and we said, we told him to stop and we went into his room. And we were like, Justin, that's sick.

1:11:02 Adam And you went into his room?

1:11:04 Caller No, we went into her room.

1:11:05 Adam Oh, okay.

1:11:05 Caller It was like.

1:11:07 Adam And so did he, what did he say?

1:11:09 Caller He said, home? And so we're like, anyways, and he was like, he was kind of like, what?

1:11:16 Adam Yeah.

1:11:16 Caller Or like.

1:11:17 Adam Does he smoke a lot of pot?

1:11:19 Caller No, and he doesn't smoke any to my knowledge.

1:11:21 Adam Yeah. Does he go to college?

1:11:24 Caller He went to, he went to, but he dropped out.

1:11:26 Drew Weren't you guys a little freaked out at that point? Did you lock yourself in your room?

1:11:30 Caller Yeah. We were like barricading the door.

1:11:32 Caller We were like, ah!

1:11:34 Adam And.

1:11:34 Caller Like.

1:11:35 Adam Okay. But is he a weird guy other than this?

1:11:38 Caller No, he's actually pretty normal. I mean, he's, you know, up to, you know, because like I've been best friends with her since I was like five.

1:11:44 Adam Yeah.

1:11:45 Caller And so, you know, up to that point, you know, we're totally like, you know, he was totally cool. And I thought he was like normal.

1:11:50 Adam Yeah.

1:11:51 Caller But he was just like, just kind of like a freak. He was like, whoa.

1:11:55 Adam All right. Well, stay away from this guy. Yeah.

1:11:58 Drew Do not go over there. Certainly don't be alone. Well, then she comes over to see you.

1:12:04 Adam Well, I mean, she can go over there when her parents are there and everything.

1:12:07 Drew But do not be left alone with him, period.

1:12:09 Caller Okay.

1:12:10 Drew Don't go to the room alone with him.

1:12:11 Caller Okay. We know that now.

1:12:14 Adam How long were the parents out? What time did they come home?

1:12:18 Caller I guess, you know, they were, well, they were gone a quite a long time. You know, it's like, it was like their anniversary or something like that, you know? So like we went in our bedroom, we went to sleep, and then I guess her parents come home like around 11 or something.

1:12:31 Drew Weren't they wondering why you were barricaded in your room?

1:12:34 Caller Eleven?

1:12:35 Adam Eleven's not that late.

1:12:37 Caller Huh? Well, they left around like 830 or something like that.

1:12:42 Adam Oh, okay. Prior Tuesday.

1:12:44 Caller Yeah.

1:12:44 Adam All right. What are you in, the seventh grade now?

1:12:47 Drew Eighth grade.

1:12:48 Caller Yeah.

1:12:49 Adam Going into the eighth?

1:12:50 Caller Yeah. Going into eighth.

1:12:51 Adam Okay. You're grown up now. You're all right. Just stay away from this guy.

1:12:55 Caller Okay.

1:12:55 Adam All right.

1:12:56 Caller Okay.

1:12:56 Caller Yeah.

1:12:57 Adam Yeah. You need babysitters at 13?

1:13:01 Drew Yeah.

1:13:01 Adam You do?

1:13:02 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:13:02 Adam Oh, I'm going to be a horrible parent.

1:13:04 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:13:05 Adam I think I was babysitting my neighbor when I was 13.

1:13:08 Drew No.

1:13:09 Adam Could you imagine that?

1:13:10 Drew No.

1:13:12 Adam First, I'd ransacked the place looking for porn. Nothing. They were a Jewish family. That's what it was. The Jews don't have porn.

1:13:20 Drew Not even a playboy?

1:13:23 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Yeah. Izzy did. Izzy was like an Israeli guy. Yeah, yeah. He had porn. Maybe the Jews do have porn. The Horowitz family lived next door to me. And they didn't have any porn. And I mean, I looked. I actually took a polo stiletto out, a taro up in the back of a picture, a taro up in that paper to see if he'd sown it in to anything. Like the Nazis ransacking Poland. There's a guy who'd go through the whole place. And couldn't find anything. But Izzy, Izzy, his kids' names were Reeve and Ronnie. He had himself a Playboy. And I just stare at that thing like a madman. I just hold it up to my face, like I was a jeweler. Like so that the boob had no shape anymore. I just press it up against my face and just stare at it.

1:14:17 Drew Oh my God.

1:14:17 Adam There's nothing left to do. Just stare. I didn't even know what to do. I was emancipating right there. I just stare at it. Hours on end. Yeah, but the Horowitz family, they never had any porn. But they had food. Oh, yes.

1:14:33 Drew Count Chocula.

1:14:33 Adam Oh, I would open that pie filling, mix it with those mini marshmallows, dump like a graham cracker into it. I was, it was insane. I ate so much food over there once. They told me, I used to destroy the refrigerator. I ate like a madman. They told me, listen, there's a turkey in the refrigerator. Don't eat it. A whole turkey. They actually put like notes on things. Don't eat this.

1:15:00 Drew Leave some for Tiny Tim.

1:15:02 Adam Yeah, I'd go, I'd go insane. I roasted marshmallows on their stove once. And my buddy Ray.

1:15:10 Drew What was Ray doing there?

1:15:11 Adam Invited him over to eat. And while the marshmallow was on fire, did I tell you this story? No. Oh, you want to know what kind of guy Ray was? Oh no. I took the marshmallow, I took it on a coat hanger, I put it over the stove, you know, over the burner. I lit it on fire. It was like camping in the kitchen. You know when a marshmallow burns, when it catches on fire? Yeah. It burns. Yeah. I mean, it glows. It's like a little napon. It makes a little sound too.

1:15:37 Caller It's a...

1:15:38 Adam You know? So I had this thing lit and I was kind of screwing around with it. And I said, it's the great Adam. And I took it above my head like I was in a circus, you know, and I started to lower it down into my mouth. Ray smacked my arm. Marshmallow was on fire and stuck to the side of my face. Hey, I don't know if any of you have ever had a completely engulfed in flame marshmallow that had been burning for about 45 seconds, stuck to the side of your face, but it's not good. No, no, it's painful.

1:16:11 Drew Oh my God.

1:16:13 Adam Yeah. Fiona.

1:16:14 Drew Have you ever wondered why you don't have 13-year-olds babysitting? Did you think about your loving experiences?

1:16:19 Adam The lighting stuff on fire. Yeah. No, I had a huge blister on the side of my face too.

1:16:24 Drew Did you get that Adam?

1:16:26 Adam Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, it was way better before her piece though, you know. Fiona?

1:16:31 Yeah?

1:16:31 Adam You're 18. What's going on?

1:16:34 Caller Okay.

1:16:35 Caller I've been like sleeping with my boyfriend for about eight months. Yeah. He's 22 and we haven't always been using protection, but like he told me he wanted to marry me and stuff. So we figured it was cool. And like a month ago I stayed over at my mom's for the night and my stepdad raped me. So like...

1:16:57 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:16:59 Drew Is it reported? No. Why not?

1:17:03 Caller Okay, like I don't really know him that well, but like he kind of scares me and he and my mom like just got together and she's just like had like the crappiest life. I don't want her to be like miserable, you know?

1:17:13 Drew Well, how could she be with a prize like this?

1:17:17 Caller I wasn't really thinking. But anyway, so like a week after that, I like missed my period and I was like freaking out. So I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I don't know who the baby is.

1:17:32 Adam Oh boy.

1:17:33 Caller So is there like a paternity test I could take?

1:17:36 Drew Well, only after the baby is born.

1:17:37 Caller I don't want it if it's my stepdad.

1:17:41 Adam You know, it's funny, Drew, I wasn't, I don't read the questions. I just punch up the number that Drew writes on his Marks a Lot board. And Drew, you got a new pen, by the way. That's very nice. And she was talking about her boyfriend and, you know, they're in love and they're getting married and all that stuff. Meanwhile, I could hear her voice sounding very young girlish. And I didn't say anything just because, you know, I want to hear the story. I want to hear the story, but boy, you got that little girl voice thing going, Fiona.

1:18:06 Caller I'm nervous.

1:18:07 Adam Is that it?

1:18:08 Drew Well, the point is this wasn't the first time you've been abused.

1:18:12 Adam Couldn't have been.

1:18:12 Caller My dad was weird, but that was a long time ago.

1:18:16 Adam Right.

1:18:17 Drew Oh, well, then that doesn't matter. And just a coincidence, we happen to notice that that's what happened.

1:18:20 Adam Thank God your mom would never hook up with another guy of a certain way. Yeah. Does your boyfriend know about it?

1:18:26 Caller No, I didn't want to tell him.

1:18:28 Adam Yeah. So what did your biological dad do to you?

1:18:34 Caller He molested me. He didn't rape me. My mother got divorced when I was maybe...

1:18:39 Drew What's the difference between molestation and rape?

1:18:42 Caller Well, he touched me a lot and kissed me.

1:18:47 Adam I don't trust your boyfriend either now, by the way.

1:18:50 Drew That's right.

1:18:50 Adam What kind of guy is he? What kind of metal does he work around?

1:18:54 Caller He's in school. He's going to a normal four-year college and stuff. And he's got a job too. He works at filing some sort of medical records.

1:19:09 Adam Yeah. What kind of guy is he, though?

1:19:13 Caller Well, his parents are still together and stuff. We've been together for a year.

1:19:19 Drew You're not answering either question.

1:19:20 Adam Is he a good guy?

1:19:22 Caller Yeah, he's a good guy.

1:19:23 Adam He treats you right? He does.

1:19:25 Caller Yeah.

1:19:26 Adam Does he know that you have problems?

1:19:29 Caller Well, yeah. I told him about my dad. I didn't tell him about my stepdad, but he knows that, like, my childhood wasn't...

1:19:35 Drew Do you have other brothers and sisters?

1:19:37 Caller What?

1:19:37 Drew Do you have other brothers and sisters?

1:19:39 Caller No, I'm the only child.

1:19:40 Drew Oh, God.

1:19:41 Adam And so you went over to stay with your mom?

1:19:45 Caller Yeah.

1:19:45 Adam And spend the night with your mom? And this stepdad, he came into the room?

1:19:51 Caller Yeah. Like, um, I was in my old bedroom.

1:19:56 Adam And he just came in and sort of started up and you were scared?

1:20:01 Caller Yeah.

1:20:02 Adam And you were, like, kind of paralyzed?

1:20:04 Caller I just left in the morning before I talked. I think I was, like, in shock or something, because I just left. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

1:20:09 Adam Did he... Did you put up a fight at all?

1:20:12 Caller Yeah.

1:20:13 Adam Oh, you did?

1:20:14 Caller Well, yeah.

1:20:15 Adam No, I mean, I just thought maybe you were petrified or something.

1:20:18 Caller I was scared, but I wasn't dumb.

1:20:20 Adam Well, I don't know. You know, it can happen.

1:20:23 Caller Not to me, but whatever.

1:20:24 Adam So you put up a fight and you still kept going?

1:20:27 Caller I mean, I wasn't, like, scratching or biting or anything, but I think I made it pretty clear that I didn't want him there.

1:20:34 Adam Yeah. Oh, this guy is so despicable. And your mother is so... such a horrible person.

1:20:42 Caller She is?

1:20:42 Adam Yes. Yes.

1:20:45 Drew Bringing these abusers in. Wolfs into the hen coop.

1:20:48 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:20:50 Drew She's got to be held accountable for this, too.

1:20:52 Adam Is this guy an alcoholic?

1:20:55 Drew Yeah.

1:20:56 Caller No.

1:20:56 Drew Oh, come on. And the guy knows her dad abused her, right?

1:21:00 Caller My biological dad's an alcoholic.

1:21:02 Adam Yeah.

1:21:02 Caller I haven't seen him for like...

1:21:03 Adam I guarantee this guy's an alcoholic, too.

1:21:05 Drew But her biological father was an alcoholic abuser also.

1:21:10 Adam What kind of guy was grandpa?

1:21:14 Caller He didn't talk a lot. He was really... He didn't really like... I was a girl.

1:21:18 Adam Too busy drinking in the cop-and-feels.

1:21:20 Caller He was usually just in the kitchen, sitting at the table, reading the paper.

1:21:24 Adam Is he dead?

1:21:25 Caller Yeah.

1:21:26 Adam Good. All right. We do have one of the few... And I'm proud of this. One of the few radio shows that, when we talk about parents or grandparents or siblings, are they still alive? No. Good. Most other shows are like, oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Sorry to hear about. How long ago did he pass? I'm sorry to hear that. He never talked to me. No, I'm glad he's gone. Cause I guarantee you he did stuff to Mommy. Cause there's no way that Mommy, there's no possible mathematical conceivable way that Mommy, and I know a lot of you a-holes would like to argue with us, but I'm telling you, Mommy was felt up by grandpa. There was no way she would bring two guys home, first biological dad, now stepdad, who went at their daughter. Okay, and an alcoholic. So now you're pregnant.

1:22:15 Caller How far along are you? I took the test. Well, like, okay, my dad, that dad paid me a month ago. And like, I missed my period a week after that.

1:22:27 Caller Oh, boy.

1:22:28 Adam He didn't even know condom, no pulling out, no nothing?

1:22:33 Caller I think he might have pulled out, but I don't really know how well that...

1:22:37 Adam Yeah. Oh, brother. And you and your boyfriend have been having sex and not using protection. Really? What's up with your boyfriend? He's got to be a little screwy.

1:22:48 Caller No, we're going to get married. We're engaged.

1:22:51 Adam Yeah, but he's just having sort of sexing, you know, sort of catch if... How does that go? Catch is catch can. I mean, as far as...

1:22:58 Drew Is he planning to go to finish school or not? It's all very kind of strange.

1:23:03 Adam I mean, don't you guys... I'm sorry to hear what happened to you with this step-dad and stuff, but even before that, you were just sort of, hey, if I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, if I'm not, I'm not. You're 18 years old, honey. Are you ready to raise a child?

1:23:16 Caller Well, we figured that if I got pregnant, we could just get married all the sooner.

1:23:20 Adam But just because you get married doesn't mean you make money, you make a home, he graduates, you know.

1:23:27 Drew Then you have children, maybe.

1:23:28 Adam Yeah, I mean, getting married doesn't mean anything. Just means you got a piece of paper and a ring. It doesn't feed the kid. All right, well, anyway, listen, Fiona. Yeah? I don't wanna come down on you too hard because you've been through a tough experience. I think you gotta get an abortion and then you gotta tell your mom what the hell happened with this guy. And hopefully she brings this guy, I mean, this guy should be arrested.

1:23:53 Drew Should this happen again? Yes, he should.

1:23:56 Adam How about bringing up some charges against this guy?

1:23:59 Caller All right, so you think I should just get rid of the baby because he might be my dad?

1:24:03 Drew Well, let's at least say, should this happen again?

1:24:05 Adam No, I think you ought to anyway, but.

1:24:07 Drew Well, should this happen again, you go to the emergency room, you get a forensic examination so they can document what actually has gone on. In the meantime, here's the number, 1-800-540.

1:24:18 Adam You got a pen there, Fiona?

1:24:21 Caller Okay, yeah. You do?

1:24:24 Drew 800-540-4000, Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-540-4000, or the Child Help USA, 1-800-422-4453.

1:24:34 Adam All right, call those numbers, talk to them, they're smarter than Drew, but I think you got to get an abortion. Even if you're not a big fan of abortion, like I am, you still got to get an abortion on this one. You never know if the kid is your stepdad, and then you got to raise the kid with the step, then you got to tell the boyfriend that the stepdad's, this could be the stepdad's kid, and this is a disaster. You're just getting an abortion, you're 18, you're going to screw the kid up one way or the other. Getting an abortion and put a condom on. And bring, I don't know, should she tell the cops?

1:25:09 Drew Well certainly if it happens again.

1:25:11 Adam Well not if it happens again, now. What about now?

1:25:14 Drew I think so.

1:25:14 Adam He's just going to deny it?

1:25:16 Drew Yeah, that's the problem is that she's not going to be able to prove it.

1:25:19 Adam I don't know, but shouldn't she tell her mom?

1:25:21 Drew Yes.

1:25:21 Adam Tell your mom.

1:25:22 Drew Yeah.

1:25:22 Adam Although your mom's, what's her mom going to do?

1:25:25 Drew Tell her.

1:25:25 Adam Okay, we'll be back.

1:25:45 Caller That keeps you up at night.

1:25:47 Caller It's Loveline, only on W-E-B-N.

1:25:49 Adam I like Adam Correra. You know when I talked to David Arquette last?

1:25:54 Drew Baseball game.

1:25:55 Adam That's right. He's a nice guy.

1:25:58 Drew He is a nice guy.

1:25:59 Adam He's not as nutty as I thought he was either. He's getting less nutty as the years wear on. He's almost sane now.

1:26:05 Drew That's good.

1:26:06 Caller Yeah.

1:26:07 Drew Married life agrees with him.

1:26:08 Adam I think so. Tony. Yeah. You're 27.

1:26:12 Caller Yeah.

1:26:12 Adam What's going on?

1:26:13 Caller I have a question for Dr. Drew and then if we have enough time, Adam, one for you.

1:26:20 Caller My girlfriend Connie is on the other line and she was taking a factor and we were wondering actually what does that have any effect on any kind of birth control pill that she could be taking or pregnancy if the birth control doesn't work?

1:26:39 Drew I don't, it isn't something that you would typically prescribe during pregnancy, but I don't know that it's necessarily been associated with birth defects and nor have I heard of it interfering with the effectiveness of the pill.

1:26:54 Adam Why?

1:26:55 Drew Why not?

1:26:56 Adam No, not you.

1:26:56 Drew Why's he asking?

1:26:57 Adam Yeah.

1:26:58 Caller Why? Well, um.

1:27:00 Caller Do you want me to tell you?

1:27:01 Caller Yeah, go ahead.

1:27:02 Caller Um, all right. Um, I was on effector for three weeks and found out that I was pregnant. So my doctor told me to stop taking it immediately because I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to keep the child.

1:27:20 Drew Okay.

1:27:20 Caller Um, they said that it has been known to cause birth defects.

1:27:27 Drew Now wait a minute. I don't know.

1:27:30 Adam Well, hold on. If your doctor said it's known to cause birth defects, why are you busting Drew's balls?

1:27:35 Drew No, I just believe your doctor. No, I think it's one of the possible categories.

1:27:40 Caller Well, because, because, um, then, see, what happened is I went into charter, um, for depression, and they put me on the effectser, and they were supposed to, um, first check and see if I was pregnant. Well, at that time, I didn't know I was pregnant, and it turns out that I'm eight weeks, and I just went into charter four weeks ago. So when my doctor told me that it could cause birth defects, I immediately called charter to find out why they didn't let me know that I was pregnant. And according to my doctor, they said that it's definitely linked with birth defects. When I talked to the doctor at charter, they said that I would have to be taking a very massive dose.

1:28:27 Drew Yeah, I've never heard of it.

1:28:29 Caller I'm getting a different story.

1:28:30 Drew I have not heard of it associated with birth defects. It's certainly something you would stop during pregnancy, but it's one of these sort of possible problems.

1:28:38 Adam Listen, everyone wants to cover their ass and play it safe. You get pregnant.

1:28:42 Drew You stop everything. I don't let pregnant women take anything because there's lots of medicines that fit in this sort of possible category.

1:28:49 Adam Okay. Okay. What else?

1:28:52 Caller Okay. My next question is, I'm concerned that when I go down on my boyfriend, I can never get him to come.

1:29:02 Adam Yeah.

1:29:02 Caller And he said that he's been able to do it before with other women and he can't do it with me. Yeah.

1:29:09 Caller But Adam, it's like I haven't been able to do that since I was like maybe 21, 22.

1:29:16 Adam Yeah. And let me do this. It's not a big deal to me. Those Korean prostitutes got a whole technique too that it doesn't even translate in American. So it's not Connie's fault.

1:29:27 Caller Hey. That's what I try and tell them.

1:29:29 Adam Connie, Connie, Connie. I didn't mean to say that. Let me talk to Connie. Connie, listen to me. First off, you got enough to think about. You're one of these screwballs likes to focus on everything and make everything bad.

1:29:42 Drew Drama.

1:29:43 Adam Drama.

1:29:44 Drew Yeah.

1:29:45 Adam The most wimpy jumping for joy. Hey, no more sperm in the mouth. Fantastic. It's my lucky day, but not you. You got to turn it around. And then poor Tony gets on the ropes. Poor Tony's backpedaling so hard. The heels of his shoes are worn out. Listen, a lot of guys don't orgasm that way.

1:30:04 Drew Normal.

1:30:05 Adam It's very normal. Not me, baby, because I'm old man. I'll take out both eyes and a nostril. But a lot of guys don't do this. They don't even like it. I mean, they like it. Yeah, it's nice and everything. But when it comes to the orgasm, that ain't what it's about for them. So don't start twisting this around. Remember, you're depressed, right? You don't need more. Don't turn, don't have everything be grist for your meal. All right? Okay. All right. Little boy. See, when you, there's many ways people can look at many different things. And if you got a person that sort of sees everything a certain way, anything that passes in front of them is going to have a negative spin on it. You don't orgasm, you don't love me, I don't turn you on enough. And then they start scratching and clawing, and the guy like an idiot goes, Yeah, once when I was 19, I was in junior college and some Asian chick gave me a blowjob in the back of my car, and I had an orgasm, and now it's all over. Oh, you have orgasms with every other chick orally, but not me.

1:31:06 Drew And then it's blaming.

1:31:08 Adam Yeah, and then it's a disaster. You know, when you got girlfriends like Connie, you can't talk, just don't say anything. You can't talk to them, you gotta be like Ollie North. Like, they go, have you ever had an orgasm, like they were a blow job before? You start to answer and then your council gets all the, he'd prefer not to comment on that at this time, your craziness. Okay, Drew, what are we doing? Someone, look at this guy's been on hold for, he's been on hold for a thousand years here. Nikki?

1:31:37 Caller Yeah, hi.

1:31:38 Adam Ooh, you're 14.

1:31:40 Caller And this, like, he's 19 or 20, this guy, he's like.

1:31:45 Adam And he won't leave you alone?

1:31:47 Caller Yeah, and I, like, gave him, like, every sign that I really don't want.

1:31:50 Drew You tell your parents, or you call the police?

1:31:53 Caller Okay.

1:31:54 Adam How do you know the guy?

1:31:55 Caller Well, it all started off when he would go drop off, like, his brother at our middle school.

1:32:02 Adam Yeah.

1:32:02 Caller And he would see me and stuff.

1:32:03 Adam Okay.

1:32:04 Caller And our school, like, passed out directories, so he got my number off of there.

1:32:10 Adam Okay.

1:32:10 Drew Notify the school what's happened.

1:32:12 Adam Your school, your parents, the cops, Jack Lord, everyone should know. Everybody. Okay? That's it. That's it. People want to get started, you get started. That's all. I heard her voice, though. It scared me. We'll be back. Well, there it is. That's another show.

1:32:59 Drew That is?

1:33:00 Adam This guy's been on hold. This girl's... Anthony's been on hold for 80 minutes.

1:33:03 Drew Yeah, we got to go.

1:33:04 Adam Then just say hi. Anthony?

1:33:06 Caller Yeah.

1:33:06 Adam You're 14?

1:33:07 Caller Yeah.

1:33:08 Adam How can you tell when a girl likes you?

1:33:10 Drew How do you tell a girl he likes her?

1:33:11 Adam How do you tell her?

1:33:12 Drew Don't, don't. Just ask her out.

1:33:14 Adam Just ask her out. Don't tell her, just ask her to lunch. She's going to lunch.

1:33:18 Drew A movie or something.

1:33:19 Adam Anthony. Yeah. I'm serious. That's it. I think. And there won't be any confusion. If she doesn't like you, she's not going. And if she likes you, she's going.

1:33:27 Drew And if she goes, she knows you like her.

1:33:29 Adam Don't beat around the bush. Just you want to go to lunch. That's all.

1:33:32 Drew Movie.

1:33:32 Adam Done. A movie. All right. All right, brother. All right. That was easy.

1:33:38 Drew I thought you were going to recommit yourself to this show.

1:33:40 Adam I am. I'm now starting tomorrow. I'll recommit myself to the show. Make a mental note, Drew. I'm going to write that down. Recommit. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:33:53 Caller This is in Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station.

1:34:04 Caller Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel.

1:34:07 Caller Now, please listen to this station longer.

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Monday, August 23, 1999