Episode 1000754888326

0:01 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:06 Voiceover Losing her discretion advised.

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline.

0:10 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191.

0:12 With Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

0:17 Drew We're at the Fabulous MTV Awards. I'm probably drunk and have my skirt pulled up over my head by now. But that's all right. You're still going to get a good show tonight because we got a lot of good guests, WC, Semisonic, Sublime, Larry Flynt, Goo Goo Dolls. Our first guest was a guy who came in here and to tell you the truth I was a little bit nervous because Drew wasn't going to be in here and the guys from the West Side Connection and I thought he was going to kick my ass but it turned out to be one of the funnest shows I've ever done. So listen and enjoy WC.

0:51 Adam Me and Q was talking about you the other day.

0:52 Drew I can't believe that.

0:54 Adam We was talking about how confident you was when all these girls were calling and talking about problems with their vaginas and stuff like that.

0:59 Drew Oh no, I just get drunk before the show so I'm really not confident.

1:02 Adam I'm trying to go there right now. I got a long way to go. I'm a big man as you can see. It's hard for me to, I got to consume a lot of alcohol to get drunk but I'm trying to go there right now. I'm ready to talk to some of these people.

1:13 Drew Well it's just me and you tonight so you're the doctor, Dub.

1:15 Adam Oh I'm the doctor?

1:17 Drew Absolutely.

1:17 Adam Okay the Jankologist.

1:19 Drew That's right. Now Dub C and Mac 10 and Ice Cube we had on the TV show about a year and a half ago.

1:26 Adam Connection for sure.

1:28 Drew And Bowdown sold like 2 million records or something?

1:31 Adam A single is approaching 2 million almost. The album is on its way to 3 million.

1:36 Drew Right.

1:36 Adam Yeah so we've been blessed especially with the help of you guys with the World Wide Exposure.

1:40 Drew Oh well thank you. It's our pleasure.

1:42 Adam Sure man. You know I gotta keep it real.

1:44 Drew Now this is the latest effort, this one right?

1:48 Adam This is my solo, this is my solo debut right here. You know from the West Side Connection. It's actually my what? One, two, my third album.

1:55 Drew Right.

1:55 Adam My third solo album but really my, no, no, no, this is my one, two, this is my third solo album but it's really my fifth album if you want to count the connection. But it's my fourth album all together. Look at my page.

2:08 Uh-oh.

2:09 Drew It's going, can you put that thing on vibrate?

2:11 Adam I might have to put on vibrate. You know what, hey vibrate, what you talking about?

2:15 Drew And then give it to me?

2:16 Adam Yeah, look at you.

2:17 Drew I'll keep it in my ass.

2:19 Adam Hey, hey, hey, let it go.

2:20 Drew I'll put it in a bag and put it in my ass. So it'll be nice and clean.

2:24 Adam Yeah, so it'll be nice and clean. We don't want no smelly vibrate, I'm sorry, smelly Pedro over here.

2:29 Drew Now, who else is on this album with you? I mean, who helps you out?

2:32 Adam I got Fonzarelli, AKA E-40, from up in the Bay Area, known as the Yay Area. I got Too Short, you know that? Bitch, man.

2:41 Drew Yeah, we call Drew Too White.

2:43 Adam Oh, okay, now, I'm sorry, man.

2:45 Drew That's all right, Too Short's fine.

2:46 Adam Too White, Too Short, got E-40, Too Short. I got Ant Bank, super producer from the Yay Area, you know, a G from the West Coast. I got Daz Dillinger from the Dog Pound. I got, of course, the Don Mega, he called himself Ice Cube. I got the Chicken Hawk assisting me, Mac Ten on the song Cheddar. I got my homeboy newcomer to the world out there, been out for a while, named CJ Mack.

3:06 Drew Now, how do you get all these guys together when you wanna do a project?

3:09 Adam I just beat the shit out of him and tell him I want him on a record. No, I'm teasing, man. No, I got a new beloved from my own voice. Hey, no, I just get at him and let him know that I'm doing a record, and what I do is I try to vibe, you know, just like how we vibe.

3:21 Drew Right.

3:21 Adam And what I'm gonna have you do on my next record?

3:23 Drew Yeah, what am I gonna do?

3:24 Adam I'm gonna have you come in, I'm gonna have you commentate. You know what I'm saying? I need a real white voice to come in and commentate like the law, you know, like Johnny DeNarco.

3:32 Drew Listen, I can do a little Russian rapping if you like. I'm telling you, Mike, he thinks I'm kidding but he hasn't heard the Russian rapper.

3:41 Adam Let me hear the Russian rapper.

3:42 Drew Let me tell you the story behind the Russian rapper for one second. I am in the Catholic Big Brother Association.

3:49 Adam Get out.

3:49 Drew I seriously am.

3:50 Adam Are you?

3:51 Drew Yeah, I really am.

3:52 Adam You're a big brother.

3:53 Drew That's right.

3:53 Adam You leave this show and go be a big brother.

3:54 Drew I'm trying to heal the city one boy at a time. I swear to God.

3:59 Adam All right, go get out.

4:00 Drew My boy's name is Nate. He had a friend from Russia. He was a 13-year-old kid. This is a few years back. He was really into the gangster rap. He's from Russia and he had a thick Russian accent. He was big and white and fat, but he loved the gangster rap. He used to mimic a few of the raps. I remembered a few of them when I was driving us all to the beach. I could hear him in the backseat rapping away.

4:23 How did he go?

4:24 Drew Here's the first one. Engineer Mike, you're going to dump out the S word? Edit myself? All right, I won't say the S word here. No, no, don't play that. I can't do it.

4:39 Caller I can't do it to that.

4:41 Drew I'll just do an acapella.

4:42 Adam Rock-a-pella, man.

4:43 Drew We're going to give you more. Ready? Here's the first one.

4:45 Adam Yeah.

4:45 Drew Beaches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks suck on these balls and leak on these dick.

4:52 Adam You crazy in the mother, man. You know that, man? You crazy in the mother. I don't want to hear no more.

4:57 Drew I got one more. I got one more.

4:59 Caller Here you go.

4:59 Drew You ready for this one?

5:00 Caller Yeah.

5:01 Drew I got to Bachan like John Machenro. That beat steps up, I'm smocking the ho. That's Russian rapping.

5:10 Adam You know what? I met a Russian rapper the other day, and he was telling me that he loved the music we were doing, but I don't believe him. But after sitting down talking to you and everything, I'm a firm believer. I got love. Rappers worldwide, though.

5:20 Drew All right, well, next time you're going to the studio, why don't you think of me?

5:24 Adam I'm gonna think of you, homie, and I'm gonna call you up there, man. Just don't choke up on me. I want you to get loose like you do on the show.

5:29 Drew I absolutely will.

5:31 Adam Congratulations, homeboy, for keeping the show going, you know, and everything, and remaining cool and calm with it and stuff, and they gotta give you your props. The world gotta recognize. I wanna see you worldwide.

5:41 Drew That's right, recognize.

5:42 Adam Recognize.

5:43 Drew I mean, recognize.

5:44 Adam Recognize.

5:45 Drew That's what I like.

5:45 Adam Recognize.

5:46 Drew Some recognition.

5:47 Adam You know, tell them you're a hog. Say I'm a hog.

5:50 Drew Yeah.

5:50 Adam I mean, I mean, you was taking over everything.

5:52 Drew That's right, I'm hogging.

5:53 Adam Say dub, say I'm a hog.

5:54 Drew Dub C says I'm a hog because people don't recognize.

5:57 Adam Yeah, you're stepping up the fog.

5:59 Drew Stepping up the fog, cause I'm the hog. I gotta recognize.

6:02 Adam Recognize.

6:02 Drew Recognize.

6:03 Adam The show near.

6:04 Drew For sure, near.

6:05 Adam That's real.

6:05 Drew Yeah, keepin it real.

6:07 Adam That's right.

6:07 Drew Oh, yes. That's right.

6:10 Caller We got an audience over here. What's crackin?

6:12 Drew Oh, yes, yes.

6:13 Adam I'm a sex life man.

6:14 Drew Oh, it's good. Masturbate every night.

6:16 Adam I'm doing the interviews now. Is that right? What new videos?

6:20 Drew Oh, I got them all.

6:21 Adam What?

6:21 Drew Yeah.

6:21 Adam Look like what?

6:23 Drew Well, I like The Big Bust. I really do. I like The Big Top Series. And I know you do too, because you're telling me that off the end.

6:30 Adam Hey, hey.

6:31 Drew I don't mind them fake.

6:32 Adam We gon stop right there, man.

6:34 Drew You don't like them big.

6:35 Adam I do. I love them big.

6:36 Drew Oh, good.

6:36 Adam I love Big Breast Big. Right. You know, but we're just gonna make sure we know when we say them, Big Breast.

6:40 Drew Oh, you don't like the big ass?

6:42 Adam I love big asses, too.

6:43 Drew You do?

6:44 Adam I don't like nuts, though.

6:45 Drew I'm being offensive, but how come black guys like the big ass?

6:48 Adam Because, man, we just like this. You know, we got long, long deals.

6:51 Drew Yeah, you got more.

6:52 Adam Long, long nuts. That's true. When I would say more, I never looked at you guys.

6:55 Drew No, you got more.

6:56 Adam Other than on videos and stuff.

6:57 Drew Believe me, you got more.

6:58 Adam I just, I like to hit it from the back. Right. And from the back, it's all good, and I like, you know, just grab that, them cheeks, and just get the slap in it, smack in it, smack it, flip it, and rub it down, and I just love to get down, man. So from the back, that's why we love big ass, because we like to get down from the back, because from the back, you got to have a long, long...

7:15 Drew Well, here's my theory. I think the black man likes a big ass because he drinks a 40-ouncer, and he needs a big place to rest in.

7:22 Adam Here we go with the stereotypes now, the 40-ounce, you know.

7:25 Drew I'm just saying, if I'm drinking a 16-ounce, I don't need that big ass.

7:28 Adam Yeah, that's true. I do drink 40 ounces, though, you know, and I love to smack and flip and rub it down, and I love all races.

7:35 Drew Oh, yeah.

7:35 Adam So to all the white girls listening, all the Asians, to all the Latinos.

7:39 Drew Yeah, but the Asians don't have the big ass.

7:40 Adam That's right, though. They got deep throats, though.

7:42 Drew Oh, really?

7:43 Adam For sure. I've been worldwide, huh, boy?

7:45 Drew Yeah, you certainly have.

7:46 Adam I've been worldwide. I'm a worldwide player.

7:48 Drew Have you been to Asia?

7:48 Adam Oh, for sure.

7:49 Drew You've been to Japan?

7:50 Adam I've been to Japan. I've been to Asia. I've been... You know what? Actually, I was overseas, and they told us that when we came over there, they said, look, we know you guys like to, you know, do a lot of screwing and everything. And we're just letting you know that... I'm actually told this.

8:05 Drew Where? At the airport?

8:06 Adam Man, they told us this airport. They said, check this out. If you can track some called Black Syphilis, we gotta contain you.

8:13 Drew Wait a minute. What other kind of syphilis can you get?

8:17 Adam It's called, no, but it's called Black Syphilis.

8:18 Drew Oh, it's called Black Syphilis.

8:19 Adam It's called Black Syphilis, man. And they said that if you get it, we gotta hold you down in the country. We can't let you roll. Because it's that bad. It got to be, man. You know, spread it like, you know, and well, you know.

8:32 Drew Did you get it?

8:33 Adam What?

8:33 Drew No, you didn't get it.

8:34 Adam No, man. I'm back over at Chillin, man.

8:36 Drew Put a condom on.

8:37 Adam Yeah, of course I put a condom on, man. Yeah. I put aluminum foil, a condom.

8:42 Drew And then put it in the microwave when you're done?

8:44 Yeah.

8:46 Adam I use whatever when it's time to get out. If I don't have a condom, I'm going to make a condom.

8:51 Drew Right. Just use a tube sock or something?

8:54 Adam I mean, I don't screw with tube socks. I don't screw with, you know, with Reynolds wrap. I don't go down with, you know, with just all kinds of different things, man. I mean, I'm a Shadius, homeboy. Able to 28 to drop. Don't want y'all to go grab the Shadius one. Double C for the K'net gang, for sure. All right.

9:11 Drew We'll get an interpreter to figure out that last statement in here in a moment. But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to play something off the Shadius one.

9:19 Adam What you want to play off the Shadius?

9:20 Drew I think we're going to play Cheddar.

9:22 Adam Cheddar?

9:23 Drew Yeah.

9:23 Adam That's the single that's out right now that's making a lot of noise, you know, off the Shadius one album on its way to go. For sure. It'll be there soon. And it's all love, homeboy.

9:33 Drew Hey Mike, you got Cheddar melting over there?

9:37 Adam Hey Mike, you got Cheddar?

9:39 Drew No, there. He's queuing it up.

9:41 Adam You got Cheddar, Mike, you should be on your queues, man. You ain't got to queue them yet.

9:46 Drew He was too busy dropping all the S and F words you were saying.

9:48 Adam Are those yours?

9:50 Drew Are they? He's pointing at Cherie's brass, by the way.

9:52 Adam Are those yours?

9:53 Drew Those are yours. Aren't they Cher?

9:54 Adam No, I mean, I just got an honest question. Are those yours? One for yay, two for no. One for yay, two for no. Oh, she didn't hold nothing up. Hey.

10:03 Drew Yeah, hold up one, would you?

10:04 Adam Hey, hey, I guess it's...

10:06 I borrowed them from a friend because I knew you were coming in. I thought you'd like them.

10:10 Adam Can I taste them?

10:11 Drew That's Cherie, our phone screener, who has a...

10:14 Adam Can I taste them on the air? It's all gravy. Hey, what's happening, man?

10:17 Drew All right, we're going to play Cheddar.

10:19 Adam I love you, Cherie. Can I pop one, Cherie?

10:22 Drew WC's going to feel up Cherie. Yeah.

14:09 Adam WC, you know what I'm saying?

14:23 Drew Ah, that would be WC, off the Shadiest One. That's Cheddar. Now, Cheddar means money, I just found out from WC.

14:30 Adam I want you all to go on and grab that album. It's called The Shadiest One. For those listening, check it out. I'm quite sure it's somewhere in there for you. If you don't like the hardcore rap, we got a couple of smooth cuts on it and everything. It's our gravy, man.

14:40 Drew Now, how do you... WC was just rapping along with himself, rapping along.

14:45 Adam I do that every day when I hear my record.

14:47 Drew Like, what do you do? Do you sit down and write this stuff out and figure it out and then memorize it and then go into the studio?

14:54 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know my system to tell you everything. I don't like reading off a paper. I try to memorize everything. I got a photogenic memory. I got a memory like elephant. I try to memorize everything so I can go on to spit it the way I want to spit it. But realistically, for me to write a song, it'll take a day or two. I mean, I could sit and write three verses that day, but that next day I got to memorize it. And if I'm really trying to just put my all into it, it's going to take a few days, like three, three or four days, because what I want to do is I want to make every verse just precise. Like this song Cheddar right here, I sit up and I took a little time to do it. I came off the road to do it. But I mean, just like right now, we having this conversation and stuff, I might go home tonight and write about each verse is 16 bars. That's what we call eight rhymes. For people who listen to music, it's 16 bars. For each verse that you heard on there was 16 bars. I might go home tonight, around one in the morning, and write me 16 bars just off the conversation that we done had.

15:50 Drew Really?

15:51 Adam Then tomorrow, I might kick another one in, and the next time I kick another one in, I got a song.

15:57 Drew You ever make any words up?

15:59 Adam Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, you know, like, West Sia.

16:02 Right. Is that West Side?

16:04 Adam For sure. All right.

16:06 Drew All right. Give us a little... You were... Translate a little for us.

16:12 Adam Man...

16:12 Drew Can you do that?

16:13 Adam You know, I mean, that's like snitching to the police. I can't give up everything, but I can give you this... You know, I call it Westbonnix.

16:19 Drew Right.

16:20 Adam Not Ebonnix, Westbonnix.

16:21 Drew Right.

16:21 Adam You know, and that's... West Sia for nia, it's the nia dub sia nia, it's the nia dub sia nia, subi de bia, subi de bia, re nia nia.

16:29 Drew All right. What does that mean?

16:30 Adam I mean, West Sia for life. What the f... is talking about?

16:34 Drew Right.

16:35 Adam It's dub sia, that's right, fool. And all y'all can suck my...

16:41 Drew That's what I thought it meant, but I didn't want to be so presumptuous and say...

16:44 Adam That woulda made them big ol big, big ears, you know what I mean? All right.

16:47 Drew You said big titties.

16:48 Adam Yeah.

16:49 Drew That's what I'm looking at her over there.

16:50 Adam Over here.

16:50 Drew That one, I know.

16:51 Adam But that's all gravy though. Wait a minute. All right.

16:54 Drew You know what?

16:54 Adam I gotta chill out, man, because I'm giving up too much information. You learnin it.

16:58 Drew Jen, what am I gonna do?

17:00 Adam Y'all gonna be on the air in a minute like, we're seeing here. Yeah. You know?

17:04 Drew No, I'm not gonna start my own group. Jen.

17:07 Hi.

17:07 Drew Hey, you're 18.

17:08 Caller Yeah.

17:09 Drew What's going on?

17:09 Adam What's up, baby?

17:10 Caller I called yesterday about being attracted to gay guys. All right. What?

17:16 Adam Being what? What? Can you repeat that?

17:20 Drew She's into the gay men.

17:21 Adam Oh, you into the gay men?

17:23 Caller Yeah. Not on purpose, I don't think.

17:25 Adam Man, you need to sit down and talk. I can set you straight, baby.

17:28 Drew Why do you think you're into the gay men, Jen?

17:31 Caller Well, the first time it happened last year, I was attracted to this one guy, and then I found out that he was gay. And so I didn't know at first, but then, like, I don't know, for a long time, I still liked him, and then I stopped, and then there was this other guy that I liked, and it was kind of more obvious that he was gay.

17:52 Drew And he was gay, too.

17:53 Caller Yeah, and-

17:53 Drew Do you like any straight-

17:54 Adam Scarf salt around the necks and everything, the, you know, the Mr. Furly pants on.

17:59 Drew Pants pulled up real high, belt too tight.

18:00 Caller Oh, no, they're not like, you know, neither one of them were like, you know, like, you know, really look gay or anything. They're just normal guys.

18:08 Drew There's no gay rappers. There's no MC butt plug or anything like that.

18:12 Adam You know what? I think all rappers is gay. It's me, you know, saying I want to beat them all down. But I said I want to be gay. But I just I don't like rappers in general, man. I think all my homeboys is gay. So I don't I don't I don't I don't like none of them. I don't like no MC is ready. But my click, man.

18:29 Drew Jen, here's my theory about women that are only attracted to gay men, only attracted to married men. It's the same thing, which is you don't want to be in a relationship, you only get attracted to people you can't be in a relationship with.

18:41 Caller Friends told me, but I mean, I've been attracted to like normal guys before.

18:45 Drew All right.

18:45 I mean, not recently.

18:46 Drew So it's not all gay men. You're just on a gay role.

18:49 Caller Yeah, I guess I just got a bad luck.

18:51 Adam Got a I got a hot streak.

18:53 Drew All right. Find a guy who wears his pants low.

18:55 Adam Yeah, sag, a brace on his beard, like doesn't shave and doesn't pluck his eyebrows.

18:59 All right.

19:01 Drew All right. Hey, I came up with a word on this show. You know how women have the hymen behind me?

19:06 Adam Yeah.

19:07 Drew Right. The gay men, they have the behind it.

19:10 Adam Behind, man, let's go.

19:11 Drew Could you work that into one of your rap songs?

19:12 Adam I'm going to work that in.

19:13 Drew The behind it. Busting behind it. Busting behind it. Let's see. I ain't gay, but I do like rhyming. I come up behind you and busting your behind it. You know what I'm saying?

19:24 Adam You need to start rapping, old boy. You need to start rapping. All games are on, you need to start rapping, man.

19:29 Drew Really?

19:30 Adam Get your money, man.

19:31 Drew All right. Let me come over and chatter down on you next time.

19:34 Adam I'm going to let you come. But you know what? You got to agree to be in my video.

19:37 Drew Yeah.

19:38 Adam For sure.

19:38 Drew I'll do that. I'll be dancing on the Mercedes hood.

19:40 Adam You can't wear them tight-ass jeans though.

19:42 Drew No, wear the baggy stuff.

19:43 Adam I'm with you, player. Yeah, we are. It's our gravy.

19:46 Drew Ben.

19:47 Yeah.

19:47 Drew Hey, you're 16.

19:49 Caller Yeah.

19:49 Adam What's crackling, Ben?

19:51 Caller Yeah. I never listened to rap or anything, but now I might get into it. That was a great song.

19:56 Drew It was, wasn't it?

19:57 Adam I know what you're going to grab the album and tell your homeboy, it's the shittiest one is out. And it's all to the good homeboy, all right?

20:01 Caller All right.

20:02 Adam What's the name of the album? What's the name of the album? The shittiest one. The shittiest one. It's all easy, homie.

20:10 Drew Let me tell you something that happens, stuff you have noticed. Hang on a second, Ben. When white guys smoke a lot of pot, they get really slow and stupid.

20:17 Adam And you can tell that he's on pot.

20:19 Drew Right. When black guys smoke pot, they talk faster and rap better.

20:22 Adam Hey, you know what?

20:23 Drew What is that?

20:23 Adam I don't know what it is. I just think that we need that medicine, man. It's all herbal. And by us being from the East and coming from out of the jungles and everything, it's all herbal. By being herbal, you know what I'm saying? That right there manifests itself. We can move a lot faster and function a lot easier.

20:40 Drew Yeah, but how come when white guys get stoned, they can barely form a sentence? And when black guys get stoned, they sound like auctioneers.

20:47 Adam Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know. All I know is just keep giving it to me and I'm going to keep cracking.

20:52 Drew Ben?

20:53 Adam Yeah.

20:53 Drew You smoke some pot there?

20:54 Caller Yeah, just a couple of hours ago.

20:56 Adam And so, so Ben, once again, what's the name of the album?

21:00 Drew The Shadiest One.

21:01 Caller Like he hides.

21:03 Adam The Shadiest One. All right, man. Much love. What's going on with you, Ben?

21:06 Caller All right. For the past about a year, I've not gotten to any real relationships, but gotten to internet relationships.

21:13 Adam You like me, old boy?

21:16 Drew And you want to know how to meet women other than on the computer?

21:20 Adam Oh, don't do them like that.

21:22 Drew Well, that's what he said.

21:26 Adam Oh, I thought you said intimate.

21:27 Drew No.

21:28 Adam I thought you said just like, no, homeboy, hold on, not like me. Wait a minute.

21:31 Drew You don't mean you. You don't play on the computer.

21:33 Adam No, man. I ain't playing on a computer, man. I got them. I thought you said intimate. Like just meeting them and just getting busy with them. No. Are you on the internet, homeboy, right? Yeah. All right. What's what's cracking?

21:44 Caller Just what happens is I send my pictures and they say I'm really cute. And so, you know, raise myself esteem. Then I go to real life and try it and try to meet girls. And it works out. But nobody wants to be, you know, go out with me. Just want my friends.

21:57 Drew Right. But you got to go face to face, ask them out and take your lumps just like everyone else does. I do.

22:02 Caller And I mean, I've been hurt so many times.

22:05 Adam Like, you know what, though, that's the game homeboy. I mean, that's what this is all about. It's all about. I mean, you know, saying it's a thin line between love and hate. And it's a lot of hurt involved in everything. But you can't let the bumps and bruises, just like they say, if you fall down on a bike, you got to get up, wipe your knees off, and keep on riding, man. I mean, you can't let the bumps and bruises scare you for the rest of your life. You know, in this relationship, you got to keep on moving because it's going to be some ladies that you're going to hurt.

22:27 Drew And Ben, here's the problem.

22:28 Adam Because you're a player like that. That's real, Nia.

22:30 Drew You see, you got a choice. You can take the easy way out. You can go on the Internet and chat away all night long.

22:36 Adam Yeah.

22:36 Drew Now, when I was in high school, we didn't have any Internet. You had to just go down the hall, look someone square in the eye, get slapped straight across the face and just take your lump. But eventually build a cowlis up and it makes you a better man.

22:49 Adam It makes you a better man.

22:49 Drew Now, this is an easier route, but it's a softer route. It's going to make you weak. You understand, Ben?

22:55 Adam Well, on the computer?

22:56 Drew Yeah.

22:56 Adam Yeah, man.

22:57 Drew Because you never build up that strength and that tolerance. Yeah.

23:00 Adam You got to be, Ben, you got to work that. You got to do dumbbells with that right arm. Get in a forearm and get a strong, nice slap. You know what I'm saying? Just get on. I don't like your conversation. Keep cracking. You got to work it, man.

23:14 Drew Hey, Ben.

23:15 Adam You got to keep it cracking. That jack-off arm, you got to have a strong, man, just ready for the female.

23:20 Drew Yeah, absolutely.

23:21 Caller Well, people say.

23:22 Adam Give them a little uppercut. You got to work on your uppercuts and stuff, man.

23:26 Drew Hey, Ben.

23:26 Adam Words from the shettiest one, homie. Jankologist, yours truly.

23:29 Drew Ben, just go take your lumps in person. Just stay off the computer. You're probably talking to old Merchant Marine anyway. You understand? Believe me.

23:38 Adam What's up?

23:39 Drew Believe me. This guy in his 50s, he's got a beard, and he's wearing a clown outfit, and he's got his pants around his ankles. And he's saying he's a 15-year-old sophomore in high school. All right, WC is here. We're going to go to break. I'm going to learn a little more about Ramp.

23:53 Adam And Westbonnets.

23:53 Drew And we'll be back.

23:54 Caller Watch the Showtime free weekend and see Evander Holyfield fight on America's number one boxing network for the heavyweight championship of the world. Saturday, September 19th, at the 10 Eastern and Pacific. Also catch Hollywood hits no one else has, like Air Force One. And don't miss Louis Gossett Jr. and Jonathan Silverman in a powerful Showtime original picture. The Inspectors. Showtime, no limits. September 18th to the 20th at Showtime and it's free for three days. Free preview weekend available to basic subscribers only. A participating system, Showtime and or free preview weekend may not be available in all areas.

24:25 Drew Loveline will be right back.

24:36 W-E-B-N It's not hard to swallow. We've got a frog in our throat. Lick it up. It's Loveline. W-E-B-N. What's the deal, y'all? This is Saul. Yo, what's going on? This is Pepper.

24:57 Caller What's up, y'all? This is Spinderella.

24:59 Caller And you're listening to Loveline.

25:00 With Adam Carolla.

25:01 Caller And Dr. Drew.

25:03 Drew Oh, yeah. Them is my homegirls, my peeps.

25:06 Adam I want to hit your homegirls.

25:09 Drew You like them?

25:09 Adam I love Salt and Pepper, especially Salt.

25:11 Drew You don't like Spinderella?

25:13 Adam I love Spinderella, too.

25:14 Drew Yeah.

25:14 Adam Yeah, I like to spin her around. I like to lick Salt all over.

25:19 Drew WC is here. The Shadiest One is the name of the CD. We'll hear something else off of that as the night wears on. What about acting for you? Do you like that? Like, I know you're in Friday. Now, didn't Ice Cube write Friday?

25:35 Adam Friday, yeah, yeah, Q-Roll Friday. Friday, man, y'all only see my wrists, my shoulder, man, and like a profile on my face.

25:41 Drew That just said it was Friday.

25:43 Adam Yeah, it was one of those. If you go to the movies, I tell you, don't, you know...

25:47 Drew Don't hit me.

25:47 Adam Halfway through the movie, don't get no popcorn. When you bend down, you might miss me.

25:52 Drew All right, I didn't see Set It Off. Did you have a bigger part in Set It Off?

25:56 Adam I got a little bigger part in Set It Off. It's a little bit bigger, but, I mean, that too, man. You got to get there in the beginning of the movie in there, D. I'll put Gary Gray down. The director of both of them films. You know what I'm saying? I looked after my homeboy and stuff. We went to school together and I gave him a shot. My first video was called Dress Cold from the Mass Circle on Party Records and I gave him love. And since then, he's blown up and I'm happy for him. He did a Waterfalls, TLC video and stuff. And on down the line. But make a long story short, he's been looking out after me and he put me in his films and stuff. He about to do Nuddy Professor too. So I'm trying to get something in that. I mean, it's just on down the line, he's been looking out stuff. But the roles that I've been getting, man, it's been them don't blink it if you don't see. You know, don't blink or you won't see me type of roles.

26:40 Drew Yeah, but you start small and you work your way up. That's all.

26:42 Adam I'm ready, player. I'm ready. I'm ready to get out. I think I need, it's time for me to go on, you know, and to, you know, to coordinate, to elevate, you know, and just go on and-

26:51 Drew To flagellate?

26:52 Adam To flagellate.

26:53 Drew Right.

26:53 Adam Ejaculate, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure.

26:57 Drew All right, let's not hesitate. We'll take another phone call here. Mandy.

27:00 Caller Yeah.

27:01 Drew Hey, you're 19.

27:02 Caller Yes, I am.

27:03 Drew What's going on?

27:04 Caller Well, since I was young, about eight or nine, I was like really heavy. I mean like at eight or nine I was like 150, almost 200 pounds.

27:13 Adam Fat girl.

27:14 Caller Yeah, when I graduated from high school.

27:17 Drew Oh, Mandy, where are you calling from?

27:19 Caller I'm calling from Kansas.

27:21 Drew You're on a cell phone?

27:22 Caller Yeah, I'm stopping.

27:23 Drew Oh, it's horrible.

27:24 Adam You can tell.

27:24 Drew All right, go ahead. You there?

27:25 Stomp, crackle, pop.

27:28 Caller When I graduated from high school.

27:30 Drew All right, hold on. Mandy, I'm going to put you on hold. We're going to wait till the line clears up and then we'll get you back.

27:35 Adam Mandy.

27:35 Drew So far we know Mandy was fat. Don't be mean, Dub C.

27:40 Adam No, I love Mandy.

27:41 Caller I love Mandy. You like big women?

27:42 Adam I love 5'10, 220, with scars on the thighs. Listen to West Side Connect album.

27:47 Drew Really?

27:47 Adam I love them big.

27:48 Drew You like to follow the stretch marks right to the front?

27:51 Adam I love stretch marks. I love love handles. I love stanky, stanky draws when they drop to the ankles. I love it all, man. You don't sit there frowning. You don't love that. I love them, man.

28:03 Drew Mandy?

28:04 Yeah.

28:05 Drew Mike said the phone line cleared up.

28:07 Adam I love you. I love you, Mandy.

28:09 Drew Mandy, hold on.

28:10 Adam I love you at 89.

28:12 Drew I'm going to wait until the phone line clears up. Can you get in a better place?

28:15 Caller Yeah, I can try to.

28:16 Drew All right, so what's going on? I can hear you now.

28:19 Caller Okay. And after I graduated from high school, I lost about 50 pounds when I went to college. But in the past three months, I've been working out all the time. Well, I've gained my 30 of that 50 back, but I'm smaller than what I was in my freshman year.

28:41 Drew Hey, hey, hey.

28:42 Adam What's happening, boo?

28:43 Caller But I still can't get any guys. I mean, I've had a guy that I've known all my life that I'd do anything for, because he's one of my best friends, and he doesn't even notice me.

28:53 Adam Maybe you guys need to remain best friends, because he know you from back in the days, and he like what's on the inside, not just what's on the outside as well. And if you tell him that you like him, maybe you can find out why he's not approach you, because I'm quite sure that he went through his mind a couple of times, you know, that maybe he need to get with you or whatnot and everything.

29:12 Drew No, but he remembers the fat Mandy, not the new not-so-fat Mandy.

29:16 Adam But then again, she got a hard on for him.

29:19 Drew Yeah, but here's the deal, and tell me if you agree with this, Dub C.

29:22 Adam Yes, sir.

29:22 Drew There's certain guys that like big women.

29:25 They love big women.

29:26 Adam I love fat women.

29:27 Drew Okay, like yourself. Yeah. Now, there's certain guys that don't like big women, and they're never gonna like them.

29:33 Adam I think they're intimidated by big women. That's why they don't like them.

29:36 Drew Whatever the reason is.

29:37 Adam They think they're wearing them on the bedroom.

29:38 Drew Whatever it is, they don't like them. I don't like them because they make my penis look small. It's all relative. For sure.

29:45 Adam Look at you. I ain't mad at you.

29:46 Drew I hold my penis up next to a 300-pound woman, she dwarfs it.

29:50 Adam You got to learn how to wear it. It's how you work the stick, not the size of the stick.

29:54 Drew I like a small Asian woman makes my penis look bigger than one.

29:57 Adam Look at you. All right.

29:58 Drew But here's my point. There's no sense trying to talk a guy who don't like a big woman into liking a big woman because it ain't going to work.

30:06 Adam It ain't going to work. Find a guy who likes a big woman and he's going to like you twice as much because there's twice as much of you. WC.

30:12 Drew All right. So don't bang your head. What's her name? That's Mandy.

30:15 Adam Mandy. Me and you need to hook up, boo.

30:17 Drew No, you don't. Yeah. No, she's probably calling from Idaho or something. Mandy? Where are you calling from?

30:23 Adam Where are you at?

30:23 Caller I'm calling from Kansas.

30:25 Drew She's in Kansas.

30:26 Adam I'll wear you out, Mandy.

30:27 Drew You're not going to Kansas.

30:28 Adam I'll wear you out.

30:29 Drew All right, Mandy. But, I mean, every... Find a black man.

30:32 Adam Find WC.

30:33 Drew I mean, WC.

30:34 Adam That's real near. Let me spank that ear.

30:37 Drew But listen, all of you out there, don't bother banging your head trying to go out with someone that doesn't want to go out with you.

30:43 Adam Yeah, I mean, quit. Quit doing that and go find somebody who loved big women like WC.

30:47 Drew You know what it does? Because it'll ruin your self-esteem when you keep asking someone and the answer keeps being no.

30:52 Adam Exactly. You'll be caught up here talking about I'm scared. Talk to me because I'm scared of rejection.

30:56 Drew Find a guy who's going to worship you. Oh, man.

31:00 Adam What we at now?

31:01 Drew Trying to figure out what name that is. Suvacito? Suavacito?

31:07 Adam What is it?

31:08 Caller Suavacito.

31:09 Adam Suavacito.

31:09 Drew That's not a name.

31:11 Caller What's up, Ace?

31:12 Adam What's cracking, player?

31:13 Caller Nada, Ace. Just kick it, man. It's the first time I heard this station, you know.

31:17 Adam Is that right?

31:18 Caller Flipping through and heard some dub-C and I was like, uh-oh.

31:20 Adam Well, hey, that's why they got dub-C on, because that's right, because we're attracting fans.

31:24 Drew Yeah.

31:25 Adam We got to let them know up here that dub-C got fans as well.

31:27 Drew Yeah, Pat Boone will be on tomorrow night, so.

31:30 Just don't worry.

31:31 Adam Hey, homeboy, what's cracking? You got the shadiest one out?

31:34 Drew You know I do.

31:35 Adam For sure. It's all love.

31:36 Caller I just wanted to send some love to you, man.

31:39 Adam How you feeling about big women? Oh, I love big women. There we go. We got, you know what? I got a real prayer with me right now. Somebody who loved big women as well as dub-C. Suavecito. Yeah, suavecito. Yeah, we suave all sizes.

31:54 Drew Yeah, no, that means gay in Spanish. Suavecito.

31:59 Adam Suave, I'm on your team, old boy. You're gonna be gay, man. I'm down with you.

32:04 Caller Let me tell you.

32:06 Drew I know people don't like breaking off people and the stereotypes, but I really think that Latino guys and black guys like bigger women more than white guys do.

32:17 Adam Want to know why we do?

32:18 Drew Why is that?

32:18 Adam We're gonna smack it, flip it, rub it down. And we got long sticks on me. So the bigger they are, man, the harder they fall. We break they ass down. I know I love to break them down. I love to get a big woman think she the whole thing and just have her crawling out the room, man, after about an hour or so. And just had a whole room stankin. Not stankin, but stankin. You know, just like, oh, gosh. As soon as the panties drop to the ankles, just, whew.

32:50 Caller Yeah.

32:51 Drew Yeah. I'll break you in if you like.

32:53 Adam This dub-seat theory, though.

32:55 Drew Right.

32:55 Adam It's the shadiest one theory. I love thin women. I love the pretty ones as well. I just break those in half.

33:02 Drew Do you perform oral sex on a woman?

33:04 Adam Or, no.

33:05 Caller No, you don't do that, do you?

33:06 Adam No, I don't get down like that on women because a lot of them don't screw up. A lot of them don't screw up. But if I can see them screw up in front of me.

33:14 Drew Oh, so if they took a wet nap and wipe themselves down.

33:17 Adam Oh, yeah, you got to go eat.

33:19 Drew Like those napkins they give away at Popeye's?

33:21 Adam Popeye's, yeah, you had to name a chicken place, huh? Like, oh, here we go to the stir-tipers. Well, they don't give those. 40-ounce and chicken. They don't give those away in a restaurant, too, man.

33:31 Drew They don't give away at McDonald's or Dewey's or shit.

33:33 Adam Hey, man, they've got Chinese restaurants, too, but I love you, though, brother. Brother, yeah, yeah, but yeah, they have them little wipes and everything. If they go wipe themselves in front of me, then, you know, then I go ahead and get out. And this facility of yours is the shittiest one. Hey, go grab the album, baby.

33:48 Drew Andrew. Andrew?

33:50 Caller Yeah.

33:51 Drew Hey, you're on with WC.

33:53 Adam Good.

33:53 Caller Yeah, I was wondering if my cool car would help me get chicks.

33:57 Drew What kind of car you got?

33:58 Caller I got a 69 Chevelle SS 396.

34:01 Drew Yeah.

34:02 Caller Yeah.

34:02 Drew You got anything done to it?

34:04 Caller Yeah, I got my big block built.

34:06 Drew Really?

34:07 Caller Yeah, I boarded 30 over, so it's a 402 now.

34:10 Drew Uh-huh. What size carb you got on there?

34:12 Caller I got a small block 650.

34:14 Adam No.

34:15 Drew Double pumper?

34:16 Caller No.

34:16 It's a quadrajet.

34:18 Drew What's the compression? 10 to 1?

34:21 Caller 10 to a quarter.

34:21 Drew 10 to a quarter to 1?

34:22 Yeah.

34:23 Drew What kind of cam you got in there? What's the lift? What's the duration?

34:28 Adam This must be a white thing, man. This must be a white thing.

34:31 Caller I had it kind of built by a machine.

34:32 Adam But it ain't a 6-4. I ain't messing with it. Check it out. Check it out. This is the question I got, the homeboy. Are you looking for love?

34:38 Yeah.

34:40 Adam You got problems.

34:41 All right.

34:41 Adam Why?

34:41 Drew You don't think a car is going to help?

34:42 Adam No, homeboy. No, never. Never. She's looking at your car. I want you... My homeboy, too, sure came out with an album. You know what I'm saying? It's called... She don't want to f**k you. She want to f**k your car. You know what I'm saying? And all games are signed, homeboy. I'm serious. I'm serious. All games are signed, homeboy. You got a nice car and everything, but you got to realize, man, when you swing around a corner and all them girls be flagging you down and stuff, they like you because of the way you look in that car. They don't like you for you, homeboy. They don't know nothing about you. They like that car. So if you're looking for love and stuff like that, hang it up, man. I mean, what you need to do, you need to get them in the car. You need to play like you love them, man. You need to bang them out. You need to just get rid of them, homie, and go back and get them again. You know, when you get a chance to. It's all about sticking moves, sticking moves, sticking move. You know, if you're looking for love, hang it up about meeting any girl. Any girl you meet in your car, if you're looking for love, hang it up, homeboy.

35:36 Drew Hang it up just like you hang up them furry dice. Is that proper? Yeah.

35:40 Adam Yeah. Make them furry dice, man.

35:42 Drew Hey, did they say proper anymore?

35:44 Adam I love him, man. Me and him gon get along well, man.

35:47 Drew Where's Hammer? We gotta get Hammer in here so I can use Papa.

35:50 Adam Where Hammer at? Take him off something proper.

35:52 Drew He's working at my house. He's raking leaves.

35:56 Adam They say he won't bankrupt, man.

35:57 Drew All right. That's why I put him to work. All right. WC is here. We're The Shadest Ones, the name is CD, and we'll be back.

36:09 Caller Love Line will be right back.

36:15 Caller W-E-B-N.

36:18 Radio that keeps you up at night. It's Love Line, only on W.

36:35 Drew This is the Best Of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. And next up, Semisonic. Mike, you're 15.

36:45 Caller I listen to your show. You guys are great. I've actually stopped a UPS person on this, like she was delivering a package. And I stopped on the street and I asked her, why would she, why would they have that particular shade of brown? And she went on like this whole thing. But basically the idea is that if you look at like FedEx guys or DHL people who wear like any color, like who are like white, she says that she said that the reason why it's brown is because they get dirty and you don't see dirt on brown. And that's the point.

37:15 The whole sort of theme there is a military colors, right? The truck is sort of a green and brown.

37:21 Drew The trucks brown.

37:22 But everything's sort of green and brown.

37:24 Caller Yeah, the truck's brown because you don't see dirt on the truck.

37:28 Caller They let the trucks get dirty as well as the drivers?

37:31 Caller Basically.

37:32 Caller Brown is the color of packages. Brown was the new black last year. But then it's not the new black anymore. So I don't think they got to switch somehow.

37:40 Drew That's great. Yeah, you could. If you had to, brown is the camouflage of packing paper. I mean, you could really lose yourself. If you had to hide out amongst parcels, you certainly could do it in a brown uniform. All right, Mike, is that it?

37:56 Caller Yeah, basically. Thank you.

37:57 Drew Was she running in place while you were talking to her?

38:00 Caller No, she wasn't.

38:01 Drew She was relaxing?

38:01 Caller She looked like she wanted to go somewhere though. She had a shifty-eyed look.

38:05 Drew Have you ever seen, what have you ever seen a UPS guy just smoking a cigarette and sort of chilling?

38:10 Caller Someone running down the street smoking the other day with a package in the other hand.

38:16 Drew It's a very well-run organization. I hope my son goes to work for that organization someday. Amanda?

38:23 I think the sales department of Carolla is going to hand you a transcript of this since FedEx is their client.

38:27 Drew Oh, it is. Amanda?

38:30 Yes.

38:31 Drew And you're 21.

38:32 Caller Yeah.

38:32 Drew Yeah, it's like the time. You know when I was calling Mountain Dew Nectar of the Tards for a while? It had become quite a nice running joke over here. And I used to get in arguments with the stone 15-year-olds about why Mountain Dew was a Nectar of the Tards until I got on a private jet with the general manager of the station and we had a couple of beers and we're having a real jovial time until he said to me, Mountain Dew, he yelled across the plane and I said, Yeah, it's Nectar of the Tards and he said, You know who makes Mountain Dew? And I said, I don't know, a bunch of Tards somewhere and he said, Pepsi! And I went, Yeah. And he said, Don't be quiet! And I went, Oh. And he went, And I went, in my normal answer, and this is why I know people must hate me, I said, So that was it.

39:36 Caller I'm glad you've never mentioned it since then.

39:38 Drew Well, to be fair to me, it was over a year ago. Or about a year ago, I got yelled at.

39:44 I basically got jumped by a Southwest Airline gate attendant, I was trying to juggle my kids in, and I needed help, and the guy just became like a saltive. And I was livid, and I came out and talked about it, and the next day was handed a transcript of what I had said.

39:59 Drew Yeah, so you gotta be careful about what you talk about here. It's okay to tell, for me to tell 15-year-olds to experiment with heroin. But I can't talk any smack about a beverage, because that's considered negligent and irresponsible.

40:16 Amanda, what's going on here?

40:17 Caller Okay, first of all, I have a question for Drew and Adam.

40:21 Drew Yes.

40:23 Caller Why isn't that all your calls? Do your screeners only screen out the people with the more, like, sexual questions or the questions pertaining to that?

40:31 No.

40:32 Drew We're trying to work some automotive questions in every once in a while.

40:36 We just said at Will Park, it's a white question.

40:38 Caller Yeah, because I have actually I have two questions, one for Adam and one for Drew.

40:43 Drew Didn't Drew just whine on at Nazium about some microvalve prolapse?

40:49 Caller You're right. You guys brought up a good point, but your screeners, I mean, not you guys.

40:53 All right, Amanda, what's your question? Go ahead.

40:54 Caller Because I called one time.

40:56 You made it on. What's going on?

40:57 Caller And I told her I was having problems at work, and she said, okay, you call back and hung up on me. And the second time I called, I said, hey, me and my boyfriend, I think you know how to treat them, put me right on.

41:05 Drew Yeah, well, it's not a show about problems at work. It's called Loveline.

41:12 Caller Exactly.

41:13 Drew It's not the JobLine. For Christ's sake. All right, for that.

41:17 Caller No, no, no, no.

41:18 Drew Let her stew a little longer.

41:19 All right, man, I'll wait just a second.

41:21 Drew Please. Let her stew a little longer. Jesus Christ.

41:26 Chad, what's going on?

41:27 Drew Wait, where is that? Hold on a second.

41:28 All right, put him on hold. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He's on hold. Go ahead, Chad.

41:32 Drew When I was pressing five.

41:33 Chad.

41:34 Drew Yeah.

41:34 Go ahead.

41:35 Caller Okay. My question is actually it's about.

41:41 Chad, don't listen to your radio. Turn your radio off.

41:44 Caller Okay. Hold on.

41:45 Wait.

41:45 Drew Now, screw Tad.

41:46 Caller Listen.

41:47 Go back to Amanda.

41:48 Drew Screw Amanda. Let Amanda screw Tad. Please. Tired of being a wet nurse to these Tardos. Let's just move on. They can sit and think about their attitude.

42:00 Talia.

42:00 Drew Talia. You're 15. What's going on?

42:03 Caller Yeah.

42:04 Caller About four months ago, I found out that my biological father had a lot of problems with drinking, and he was diagnosed as schizophrenic. I had a couple of questions about that. I wasn't quite sure if it's genetic in any way or anything.

42:21 Caller Well, there are genetic properties. They just tend to be in mental disorders in general, can sort of fall in family lineages, but not necessarily.

42:31 Drew Look at the Jacksons. I think that's proof positive that this stuff does follow a family. Wait a minute. Your last name is Jackson?

42:45 Caller My stepfather's last name, yes.

42:47 Drew I have a lot of weird stuff going on today. Now listen to this. Hold on a second. I got a buddy staying with me from New York in the room over there.

42:59 Caller Now he tolerates it either.

43:00 Drew He's having a good time. I got him an inflatable mattress.

43:03 Caller I know. He's a big time producer.

43:05 Drew It cost me a hundred bucks for that thing.

43:07 Caller Oh for god's sake.

43:07 Drew The point is, he leaves my house today about ten in the morning to go down to the office. His wife calls about ten minutes later. The office is about ten minutes away. She said, as Daniel there says, no, he left. But, well, I tried him at the office. He wasn't there. I said, well, he should be getting there any moment. But the way he drives in this rain, god only knows what could have happened. He could have gotten in a car accident. I got in an accident. I got to the office a half hour later. I got in an accident on the way there. Now then, on the way to the office, I pull over at this awning place. Always put it on an awning, by the way. Awning places, always got an awning out front. I guess they cut a deal with themselves or something. But the point is, I pull in there and I'm sitting there talking to the guy and I'm talking to him about awnings, naturally. And the phone rings. He says, hold on. He's talking to this woman on the phone. Uh-huh, yes, you have a broken awning and I won't say my address, but you're at 28 blah, blah, blah, blah street. And he goes, so where is that? What's wrong with your awning? I go, hold on. This is my neighbor. I walked past the house yesterday and noticed a broken awning. Here's what's going on with the awning. Now it didn't have the awning, the title of the company on the awning. I had not spoken to my neighbor. I had no idea that this was the same company. I just happened into the place where she was calling, where she was calling. And she was calling about a problem with her awning that I had stared at the day before when I was walking my dog. And I told the guy what he needed to fix her awning.

44:43 Caller Wow.

44:44 Caller And then we're easing into that spiritual topic we hit on earlier. And you're undergoing a kind of a metamorphosis. Awakening right now.

44:53 Caller And now Talia Jackson.

44:54 Drew So now I just called you the Jackson.

44:56 Caller Alright, what's up? So Talia, you wonder, are you view at risk for this?

44:59 Caller Yeah.

45:00 Caller How accurate do you think the diagnosis... In other words, how did you find out that he had a diagnosis of schizophrenia?

45:06 Caller He was just beating up on my mom and freaking out. He was upset because my mom had got pregnant because she was very young.

45:12 Caller But he's an alcoholic. We know that.

45:14 Caller Well, it wasn't that he drank too much.

45:17 Caller It was that he was allergic to it, I guess.

45:19 Caller And he ended up killing himself when I was three years old.

45:22 Caller Well, all we know is he's an alcoholic. Being allergic to alcohol is...

45:25 Caller He was diagnosed by doctors with schizophrenia.

45:28 Caller Okay, so he... I wouldn't...

45:31 Caller And his sisters and then...

45:32 Caller I would say I would be more concerned with the addiction potential here, which you have about a 50% probability, a possibility of inheriting. You have a far less probability of getting schizophrenia.

45:42 Caller Yeah, I was like wondering about like genetic problems because from what I know, his sister is in an institution somewhere and his mother was retarded with Down syndrome.

45:54 Drew Well, I'm no doctor, but I'm thinking the family got it out of their system. You know what I mean? They purged themselves of all these mental disorders and you're going to go on to write novels.

46:06 Caller Have you had any problems?

46:08 Caller No, not that I know of. But I had another side to the question.

46:13 Caller Real quick.

46:14 Caller Is my mom's new husband that has been around since I was like six months old.

46:19 Caller Right.

46:19 Caller Now, whenever I bring up the subject around my mom, he gets really, really mad and he's now like favoring my sister and brother and he won't talk to me. He won't say anything to me anymore ever since I found out.

46:32 Caller Found out what?

46:33 Caller Found out that he's not my real father. They had told me since I was little that he was my dad. And now I like for him.

46:41 Caller I could imagine as a parent how it would feel if the child suddenly became sort of preoccupied with another parent when you'd been the one that loved and raised the child. It would be offensive a little bit.

46:51 Drew I could see that.

46:53 Caller I hope you could contain it as a parent, but I can imagine he'd be hurt and maybe badly hurt. And give him an opportunity to tell you how hurt he is. Ask him, you know, confront him on this behavior and ask him what it's coming from.

47:03 Drew It's just a weird thing and a weird transition, and you're going to have a couple of shaking months in there, but I don't think it's going to be a deal breaker if the guy's halfway decent. All right, we're going to run to a break. I'm going to see if I can bend a spoon or start a watch using nothing but telepathy, and we'll be back.

47:26 Caller Love Line with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

47:28 Caller Be right back.

47:30 Caller W-E-B-N.

47:39 We're not keeping you up, are we?

47:41 I'm pitching a tent.

47:43 Oh, that's good. It's Loveline.

47:47 Caller WPBN.

47:54 Drew It is the Best Of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. And as per usual at this time of the show, we will be back in a miniscule ten seconds. This is Loveline on Radio Station.

48:09 We are the G-Spot on your radio dial.

48:19 Drew You're listening to the Best Of Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew. We're at the MTV Music Awards this evening. So we're enjoying ourselves, I'm sure. Our next guest is a guy who's made a living out of enjoying himself. Actually, until someone shot him. Larry Flynt. Well, everyone, if you didn't know him already, I knew who Larry Flynt was because I'm a purveyor of pornography. But some of you didn't know who he was until The People vs. Larry Flynt. And you do not only Hustler, I mean, everyone knows you from Hustler, but you do many, many other publications. What are some of those other publications that we might know?

49:00 Best Of We do Rap Pages, which is a hip hop magazine. We do RIP. I do three different computer magazines, PC Laptop, video games, Tips and Tricks. We have boating magazines. Only out of the 21 titles I publish, only six of them are adult titles. The rest are mainstream publications.

49:19 Drew Give me the adult titles, just because I'm the kind of guy who likes to patronize the folks that are doing some good. And I will go out and get these titles.

49:29 Best Of Of course we have Hustler and then we have Rage, which is the new men's magazine. Sort of for the Grunge generation.

49:35 Drew Haven't.

49:36 Best Of And we have Sheik and Barley Legal for the guys who like to roll young. And.

49:43 Drew I think Drew's a subscriber to that.

49:45 Best Of Oh Busty. Which is a fetish museum for guys that like big boobs. Okay.

49:51 Drew Well let's just stop at Busty for a second. I'm a fan of the brass. I'm a tremendous fan of the tremendous brass. And I'm not gonna get this opportunity again, so I'm just gonna ask you flat out. Can I get some sort of discount subscription to this magazine?

50:08 Best Of You can get a free one.

50:09 Drew Really? But I mean I need it throughout the year. I don't, you know.

50:12 Best Of That's alright.

50:13 Drew Because my penis knows no bounds. I need one every month.

50:16 Best Of Just give me your address at the end of the show and you've got it.

50:19 Drew Really? And I don't need it in a plain brown paper bag either. I want it in big bold Busty print when it hits.

50:27 Caller I have to tell you that Adam has received various gifts from various gifts, from various guests over the last year. I have never seen him shake with excitement.

50:37 Drew This is exciting to me because porno ain't cheap. And I mean, it's an expensive industry and one of these issues on the newsstand is going to run you five, six, seven bucks or 6.95 or something like that. Right, Larry? Right. Right. You figure you got them by the balls, so to speak. What are they going to do? Go start their own magazine. They got to buy it. And if you're a fan of the bus like I am, you know, you're between a rock and a hard place. But if I could get this subscription, that would be it. That would be it for me. If there was some publication made for napping and I could get that subscription, then my life would be complete. But this will do. All right, so I'm going to hold you to it, Larry, and let me explain. I know you're a powerful man, but I, too, am a powerful man, and you don't want to cross me. You understand?

51:28 Best Of No, I want to catch hell if you don't get your subscription.

51:30 Drew That's right. That's right. Because I will raise hell every night on this radio show until that thing hits my mailbox. All right, so we'll deal with that. Are you going to help us out with some of these calls? Sure. All right, Selena, 15, you're on Loveline with Larry Flynt.

51:45 Caller Hi, guys, you are great. I just want to say that.

51:48 Drew Thank you.

51:49 Caller Adam, you're like the funniest guy I've ever heard.

51:52 Drew Well, I'm now the happiest man you've ever heard because of the bussy subscription.

51:58 Caller Hi, Larry.

51:59 Best Of Hi.

52:00 Caller Okay, I've been going out with this guy for about a little over a month. And ever since the first day, he wanted to start kissing and I'm kind of the shy type.

52:12 Caller And you're 15, right?

52:14 Caller Right. And we have this dance coming up and everyone, and he's getting more impatient every day. And every day our friends keep saying, you know, have you kissed him? Have you kissed him? And that, you know, gets him even more impatient. And part of me wants to do it and part of me doesn't and I don't know what to do.

52:36 Drew All right, Selena. Yeah. You can't really do things you don't feel comfortable with sexually.

52:45 Caller Even if it's just kissing.

52:46 Drew Well, all right. No, screw that. You should kiss. You're 15. It's time to kiss.

52:51 Caller Maybe she doesn't like the guy.

52:52 Drew Do you not like the guy?

52:53 Caller I like him.

52:54 Caller Are you embarrassed?

52:55 Caller No.

52:56 Caller What is it you're afraid of?

52:58 Caller I don't know. I guess a little shy. I don't know. I'm not sure.

53:02 Best Of Do you trust yourself? Are you afraid it might lead to something else?

53:07 Caller No.

53:09 Drew You're not scared of this guy. You're not scared that once you get the ball or the ball's rolling, it's never going to stop. He's just going to keep going.

53:18 Caller It may not just be the physical intimacy that gets rolling. It may be the emotional intimacy. And that could be just as scary to a 15-year-old. Right. If you really open up to this guy and maybe the kissing really symbolizes that for her, she could get involved more than she is ready to.

53:32 Drew All right. By the time Larry was 15, he had five stills and had sex with half a barnyard. He was well on his way to publishing Hustler by this time. But it's refreshing to hear the youngins who haven't yet got involved with this world.

53:48 Best Of I like to ask the caller, are you a virgin?

53:51 Caller Yeah. Yes, I am.

53:53 Drew Now, what do you think, Larry? Do you think people ought to, young ladies ought to hold out until they're a little bit older? Or do you think it matters? What's your stand on that?

54:05 Best Of I, you know, we start becoming sexually aware at about the age of 13. She's 15 now. So this is a decision that you have to make. And no one else can make it for you. It's a big step. But I'm not saying it's wrong if you do it. It's just something that you should be comfortable with before you do.

54:34 Drew All right, Selena. So we can't really tell you what to do and what not to do. But eventually you're going to have to do it. So I'm saying get it over with. That's my approach of sex. Get it over with so we can watch TV. You don't do any other. What is the last? I know I cut you off at Bussey. But what is the last Gentleman's publication that you put out?

54:56 Best Of Well, we have a publication, Bradley Legal, where we only photograph models 18, 19 years old.

55:03 Drew Right.

55:04 Best Of And some of them even look younger than that in print. So that seems to be one of the fastest growing magazines we've got because there seems to be a great deal of interest.

55:16 Drew Do you think you're catering to pedophiles with a magazine like this?

55:20 Best Of No, I don't think so because traditionally, dirty old men have always gotten turned on by young girls. When I think of a child, I'm thinking of pre-puberty. Right. You've got 18, 19 years old. That's not a child. Nothing wrong with anybody having fantasies about someone of that age.

55:45 Drew Well, it's kind of an age-old question, which is, are you by providing pornography for this segment of society? Are you somehow providing them with this and satisfying their needs? And is that keeping them out of the schoolyards or are you creating more need in bringing them into the schoolyards? I don't know if anyone knows the answer to that.

56:12 Caller Or is it 18, 19 year olds that look at this stuff just because they can relate better to it?

56:17 Drew Oh really? No, I think it's the old guy thing. 18, 19 year old like looking at 30 year olds naked and 30 year olds like looking at 18, 19 year olds. And I'll take any age as long as the busty part is there. Liz, 30, you're on Loveline.

56:30 Caller Hi, hi Adam and Dr. Drew. I had a comment I wanted to make that I think you probably, I'm not going to change your mind about anything that you say, but I'm really tired of all the fat chick comments you make, like all the sort of slamming fat people. I mean, if nothing else, I guess the thing I wanted to say is, if nothing else, statistically over half the country is quote unquote overweight. So you can assume that at least half your collars are probably fat.

57:00 Caller You're fat.

57:01 Drew Oh, Drew, please, please, let her finish. Go ahead, Liz. I'm sorry.

57:05 Caller Yeah, well, just so I mean, if nothing else, I mean, it's like you assume people are thin until they maybe drop some sort of vague hint. And then you're and then you're like, oh, God, that's gross. Like, the reason I'm calling is the comment you made with the ice tea show to some guy who is being dumped on by a woman who was heavy. And you said, you know, at least get dumped on by a model, anybody can get dumped on by an ugly people. I mean, fat women.

57:31 Drew Right, ugly.

57:32 Caller Well, no, actually, you're wrong about that. I mean, fat women are a preference just like sin women.

57:37 Drew I didn't say, I didn't say fat. I said ugly.

57:40 Caller Yeah, but you were using the two interchangeably.

57:44 Drew Let me explain something, Liz. In our society, we have sort of models of what we deem attractive.

57:52 Caller That's right.

57:52 Drew Unfortunately, for overweight people, overweight people are not deemed attractive by most people in this society.

57:59 Caller I'm fully aware of that. I'm fully aware that.

58:01 I just get tired of hearing.

58:03 Drew Liz, listen, if you listen to this show enough, you know that I champion the cause of the hefty more than almost anyone.

58:10 Caller Oh, really?

58:10 Drew I have said on many occasion that the largest, pardon the pun, segment of this society that's discriminated against is not-

58:18 Caller The most severely used.

58:19 Drew Most severely discriminated against is not necessarily black or Hispanic or an ethnicity or a religion, but it is a weight. Yeah, you're right. I think fat people are discriminated against more in this society than any other-

58:34 Caller I agree....

58:35 ethnic group....

58:36 Caller prejudice.

58:37 Drew Right, and I've said that a hundred times, Les.

58:40 Caller I'm sorry then, because I managed to have caught sort of all the offhand-

58:43 Caller What happened is-

58:44 Drew It doesn't make me a chubby chaser, but I'm still putting that out there.

58:47 Caller The deal is Adam sort of spreads his crap around.

58:51 Drew Absolutely.

58:51 Caller Like, it lands on me, it's going to land on Larry tonight, it lands on fat people, thin people.

58:56 Drew I am like Van Gogh, all the world is my canvas, and I have a bucket full of crap and a big roller, and I just spread it all over the place.

59:04 Caller If he has to strike on stuff that you're sensitive, that strikes a chord with you, it's easy to let him get under your skin. But I understand he spreads it around. I've listened to it, God knows now, how many hours a day?

59:15 Drew All right.

59:15 Caller Every day, seven days a week.

59:17 Drew Do you have any Husky magazines, Larry? Because there's something. Anything like that in the works?

59:23 Best Of There's one. One time in Hustler, I published a 300 pound centerfold. She wasn't flabby. She was just big and pretty. Yeah.

59:37 Drew A lot of guys are into that.

59:38 Best Of I had hundreds of people cancel their subscription. People write in saying, that's not what I pay for.

59:47 Drew All right. So not all experiments turn out great. Liz.

59:50 Caller Thanks for the chance to express myself.

59:53 Drew Liz, it's quite all right.

59:54 Caller Listen, sometimes there's only so much of the whole thing I can stand and appreciate.

59:59 Drew Liz. Yeah. Listen, the worst place you can be in society, I think, is an overweight female.

1:00:06 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:00:07 Drew You can complain about being short. You can complain about being bald. You can complain about being Jewish or black. But I think being a heavy female, especially young, heavy female, imagine going through high school is a heavy female. That is a very tough road to hoe. Absolutely. All right. So Liz.

1:00:26 Caller Yeah.

1:00:27 Drew Don't be bitter. There are plenty of guys who like big women.

1:00:30 Caller Oh, I know. I'm not bitter. I'm just sort of fed up, I guess.

1:00:34 Adam All right.

1:00:35 Caller So thanks. All right.

1:00:36 Adam All right.

1:00:37 Caller All right.

1:00:37 Drew All right.

1:00:38 Caller Later.

1:00:39 Drew Well, turned her right around with my chunky chicks are discriminated against rhetoric. No, I absolutely believe that. I absolutely believe that. You take you look at it this way. Take a Fortune 500 company and they're hiring a receptionist. Most of those companies would be less apt to hire an overweight woman than they would an Asian woman, a black woman, an Hispanic woman or male for that matter. All right. I rest my case. Joe, 30, you're on Loveline with Larry Flynt.

1:01:11 Caller Yeah. I have a question for the doctor. I used to masturbate a lot when I was 16 and later on in life like when I was 20, I had a girlfriend and we went out for five years and we tried to have a baby and nothing produced. Is there any relationship between those two?

1:01:31 Caller None.

1:01:32 Caller Unmasturbate?

1:01:33 Caller None. Zero. Zero.

1:01:36 Drew It's a nice theory. Yeah.

1:01:39 Caller I just got a little arm conch.

1:01:41 Drew Yes. Your best work was left on the shower floor, but it's not true.

1:01:46 Caller First of all, sexual activity tends to promote more sexual activity. So the more you put out, the more your body's hurrying up to replace. Right. Secondly, what makes you think this has anything to do with you?

1:01:59 Caller Well, I don't know. I just...

1:02:01 Caller I believe there are two people in this relationship.

1:02:03 Caller Yeah, right. But we broke up after I was 27.

1:02:10 Caller And?

1:02:10 Caller And I had girlfriends.

1:02:12 Caller And did she have...

1:02:13 Caller One night stands before and never got pregnant after that.

1:02:16 Caller Well, you're very, very lucky. And or some of these may have been pregnant. You just don't know about it. Joe, you also get an HIV test on why you're thinking about all this.

1:02:25 Drew Joe, next time you're in... Do you ever go to... Do you have a doctor? Yeah. Okay. The next time you're leaving, grab one of those little pamphlets at the front desk, like your sperm and you or something. And save sex and bone up on this subject. There's a 30-year-old man who thinks he squeezed all the good juice from his lemon early in life, and now he can no longer... Come on, Drew. What? His seed is no good. What the hell kind of... That's what, Drew?

1:02:57 Caller Precoctin.

1:02:57 Drew Thank you.

1:02:58 Caller He should get a sperm count and he also has to practice safe sex and get an HIV in the meantime.

1:03:02 Drew All right. Larry, let's talk about you for a moment. Speaking of masturbation, it's been a long time, am I right? Because of the shooting incident.

1:03:17 Best Of No, that's how... my sex life is very good shape now.

1:03:22 Drew Oh, it is?

1:03:22 Best Of For many years after the shooting, it wasn't, but I'm okay now.

1:03:26 Drew Because of these new innovations?

1:03:29 Best Of Yeah, penile implant.

1:03:30 Oh, really?

1:03:32 Best Of Yeah, sure.

1:03:33 Caller Really?

1:03:34 Drew I'd have a... did you get one of those?

1:03:36 Best Of Sure, I did.

1:03:38 Drew Drew wants to see the scar.

1:03:39 Best Of And it works fine.

1:03:40 Caller It does?

1:03:41 Best Of It stays up just as long as you want it to.

1:03:46 Drew I gotta get one of those.

1:03:47 Caller So they've got them with the pumps on the tip, pumps that they put in the reservoir on the testicles, very simple way to do it.

1:03:51 Drew Where is your pump?

1:03:52 Best Of On my testicles.

1:03:54 Drew Really? And you just squeeze it like... You know when the doctor checks your blood pressure and they do that little...

1:04:02 Best Of You don't have to squeeze it that many times, twice and you're there.

1:04:05 Drew Really? Now, if you don't like the girl, will you just give it half a squeeze? And how long has this been in place?

1:04:14 Best Of For six years.

1:04:16 Drew No problems?

1:04:17 Best Of No problems at all.

1:04:18 Drew Wow. And does it work? Is it as true an erection as it ever was?

1:04:26 Best Of Better.

1:04:27 Drew Really? Well, because you don't have to concentrate.

1:04:29 Best Of I would recommend to anyone that has any kind of an impotency problem whatsoever to look into this.

1:04:38 Drew Now, I don't want to get too personal, but does the scrotum, does it look the same?

1:04:44 Best Of Yeah.

1:04:44 Drew Everything looks the same.

1:04:46 Best Of No one would ever know you even had it.

1:04:48 Drew And how do you relieve the pressure then once you put pressure in it?

1:04:52 Best Of Well, there's another little valve.

1:04:54 Drew You fart and it goes down?

1:04:55 Best Of It reached down in your press and then it goes down.

1:04:59 Drew Where's the other valve?

1:05:00 Best Of It's in your testicles. They're both close to each other.

1:05:03 Drew Really? It's like I got the nutsack of James Bond. This is incredible. See, I'm so glad to hear this because I didn't know that you'd had this procedure done. And I thought, Jesus, poor guy. This is his, you know, this is his bread and his butter. And unable to use the bread and butter at the same time is a horrible fate. But now you got in and it works better than ever. Oh, God bless you. God bless America and God bless the scientific community. And when we come back, more Larry Flynt, more Drew and more you.

1:05:36 Caller Last time on the Chris Rock Show.

1:05:39 Caller And finally, in Queens, and Queens has happened this week, heavily armed cops with battering rams raided a house only to discover that they had mistakenly smashed down the door of a black college official. And Mayor Giuliani says to make sure this doesn't happen again, in the future, all black people should leave their doors open.

1:05:58 Caller This Friday, join Chris and guest Jerry Springer. The Chris Rock Show, Friday nights at 1130, only on HBO.

1:06:14 Caller We'll be right back.

1:06:33 Drew You're listening to the Best Of, Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Don't bother phoning in. Tonight, our guest is sublime. When we left off, I was saying we're gonna talk to Mark, who's 29, who has dreams of returning to kill his childhood molester. Mark. Yeah. Yeah.

1:06:52 You'll never catch me.

1:06:54 Drew What? What happened? How old were you?

1:06:58 Caller Um, it started when I was about 10.

1:07:01 Caller Who was it?

1:07:03 Caller Scout Master.

1:07:04 Caller Oh my God. Kill him.

1:07:06 Have you ever heard of a band called Sockeye?

1:07:09 No. Wow.

1:07:10 Caller Was he somebody you knew prior to that in any way?

1:07:14 Yeah.

1:07:14 Caller I mean, he was a close friend. I mean, he was my brother, the Scout Masters. Yeah.

1:07:19 Drew So I don't trust these guys who get too involved with children's lives who aren't their own children. Right. There's nothing wrong with donating a little time. There's nothing wrong with coaching a little league team or doing something like that. But when you donate your entire life, dedicate, sorry, your entire life to hanging out with a group of kids wearing, you know, shorts and bandanas around their necks and taking them out camping of all places, this is dangerous.

1:07:45 Caller Well, a lot of times it's like the parents' kid that's in it too, so that's why they do it, but apparently not in years.

1:07:53 Drew So Mark, how long did this go on?

1:07:55 Caller For five years.

1:07:56 Drew Really? And what, I don't blame you, but what kept you, you know, involved with it and coming back and all that?

1:08:05 Caller Well, I mean, I grew up in a small town in Maine. I mean, you just didn't talk about things like that.

1:08:11 Drew Yeah, but what kept you involved with the troupe and all that?

1:08:15 Caller Because my, I mean, I couldn't, my parents would ask too many questions if I just dropped out.

1:08:20 Well, why don't you tell your parents? Did you know it was wrong or, I mean, how old were you when it happened?

1:08:27 Caller Ten.

1:08:27 Caller It started at ten.

1:08:29 Drew So it went ten to fifteen.

1:08:30 Caller Yeah. Were you getting enough attention at your family of origins home? I mean, did you have, were you getting enough sort of feedback from your family?

1:08:38 Drew What do you mean?

1:08:39 Caller Sometimes kids around that age will do that sort of thing because they are so starved for attention.

1:08:45 Drew What do you mean, do that sort of thing?

1:08:47 Caller That they will be a good victim for that kind of thing and continue to go back because they actually feel gratified from it as a form of connecting.

1:08:56 Drew Mark?

1:08:57 Caller Yeah?

1:08:58 Drew Where's this guy now?

1:09:00 Caller He's back in my hometown.

1:09:02 Drew And I'm sure he's done this to other kids.

1:09:05 Caller Yeah.

1:09:06 Drew Yeah, because this is a way of life. There's no hobby.

1:09:09 Caller He got caught.

1:09:10 Drew Oh, he did?

1:09:10 Caller About ten years ago.

1:09:12 Caller He's in jail?

1:09:12 So he's been released now?

1:09:14 Caller Yeah, well, he got some pissing at little.

1:09:16 Caller Unbelievable.

1:09:18 Caller He got like five, I mean, he got like five years probation and like a year of work release.

1:09:23 Caller Oh, my God.

1:09:24 Drew This is absolutely pathetic. And here's the deal, too. You don't change by sitting in a cell for five years. As a matter of fact, whatever it is you wanted, the whatever reason they put you in for is you just want it more. You probably just think about it when you're in there for five years.

1:09:39 Caller He was in jail for a year and I was under work release. It just means he slept there. He went to work every day.

1:09:45 Drew Oh, that is so pathetic. And how many guys do this to that you know of that I know?

1:09:50 Caller Yeah, I would say at least 10, 10 people's lives permanently affected. And he gets a brief timeout, right? He gets a timeout, timeout, five years.

1:10:02 Drew Right, he gets essentially a talk in two.

1:10:04 Caller Well, I think that's what's wrong with this country and that's why I believe my dreams.

1:10:09 Become a politician and help right this wrong. There's a lot of wrong laws that protect the bad people.

1:10:21 Drew Meanwhile, some guy driving a VW van trying to get enough change together to fix the clutch because he's following the grateful dead, peddles a couple tabs of acid to some undercover agent.

1:10:32 And he's doing 25 to life.

1:10:33 Drew He's doing 25 to life. Yeah, no leniency there. That is just pathetic. I wonder if it's different if guys do this to women. You know what I mean? I mean, here's what I'm saying.

1:10:47 Caller Is the punishment worse, you mean?

1:10:48 Drew Yeah, I mean, you know how our society is. Let's just, Mark, just stay with me for a second here. If there's some 10- or 12-year-old guy and his 18-year-old girlfriend gives him a ride, everyone looks at that and says, it's no big deal. The guy got some. How bad could it be? If it's a 10- or 12-year-old girl and an 18-year-old male does it to her, then that's a travesty. I mean, that's huge, right? I wonder if this guy had been doing it to a brownie troop if he wouldn't have gotten more time. That's a good question.

1:11:22 I don't know.

1:11:22 Drew That will never be answered. Mark.

1:11:25 Yeah, because he messed with somebody else's wife.

1:11:29 Drew Mark, listen. Here's the deal. What else can you do? You can't take the law into your own hands.

1:11:35 Caller I think I should. I mean, I think a lot of people... No, no.

1:11:38 Caller You can't.

1:11:38 Caller No, I think if there were like 30 cases that turned the...

1:11:44 Class action suit. This is what you're talking about. No, no, no.

1:11:48 Caller I'm talking about going after them with sharp implements and actually killing them.

1:11:51 No, you can't do that. Man, it's just something off the record.

1:11:54 Caller But 30 of us ought to do it. And then it would send a message out there and it would say, you know, you people, you need to get some help. And if you don't get help and if you destroy another child's life, then this is what's going to happen.

1:12:04 You don't really want to send a message for something like that. Basically, what you want to do is like on the movie Pulp Fiction, hire a couple of pipe-hitting crack smokers with some pliers and blow torches to go to work on them, right? All right.

1:12:20 Caller Yeah, I mean, do that under your hat.

1:12:22 Don't go advertising on national broadcast radio.

1:12:25 Drew Mark, Mark, you're going to screw your own life up, though. And you know what? If you killed this guy, I don't really think you'd feel that much better.

1:12:35 Oh, I do.

1:12:35 Drew I think you would for for a month. But for some reason, I don't know. It's not going to. It's not going to fix what this guy did to you.

1:12:43 Oh, no, we'll never fix it.

1:12:44 Drew And don't get me wrong. I think this guy should have been locked up for the rest of his life. But I'm just saying you now are 29. You're not even 30. You have the rest of your life to go forward with. I know you're scarred and I know this guy did you wrong. And I know he did these other guys wrong. But you can still move on and still have a good life.

1:13:03 Caller Can't you try to do something somewhat more legitimate or at least legal in terms of No, no, no, no, no, no, in terms of attacking your cause of coming after child molesters, of really making that a focus. I think it's a wonderful, a huge benefit to society as a whole. While you're going out there and killing him, it will be a nice headline for the main papers and it will screw your life up forever and rid our society of another.

1:13:36 Drew I wouldn't convict Mark, by the way, if he did it and I was on the jerk.

1:13:39 Caller I understand, but it probably, they probably would have to, by the way they presented it.

1:13:43 Drew I know, but it's so pathetic that this guy's out because you know he's gonna get into this again.

1:13:48 Caller But maybe, maybe not just 25 or 30 guys doing that, but maybe 25 or 30,000 people that he could rally and somehow work through the legislative process to really make laws that did, in fact, put these guys away forever. At least in California, this is starting to happen, right? I mean, these guys are getting chemical castrations now.

1:14:08 Drew Really?

1:14:09 Caller Right?

1:14:09 Drew Well, we're talking about that. Yeah, but I don't know if that's been implemented.

1:14:12 Caller I believe it's law now.

1:14:13 Drew All right, so, well, explain chemical castration.

1:14:17 Caller They take some shots that basically shut off their male hormones.

1:14:20 Drew Right.

1:14:21 Caller Shut off their sex organs.

1:14:23 Drew Yeah, but I believe that there's more than just sexual arousal at hand.

1:14:29 Caller I understand, but there's a big price to be paid.

1:14:32 Drew All right, and here's my take with this whole prison thing. I love the big boobs, okay?

1:14:37 Caller That's my thing. Oh, big boobs, I love them, too.

1:14:38 Drew You do? All right.

1:14:39 Caller Cuz Zonkers act.

1:14:42 Drew Now, Eric and Bud, both of them, who would have guessed these two gents would enjoy the large breasts?

1:14:48 Caller Al Bundy.

1:14:49 Drew But here's the situation. If they put me in jail for a few years, the first thing I would look for when I got out would be the big boobs.

1:14:56 Caller Oh, more hooters.

1:14:57 Drew Nobody could talk me out of the big boobs. I don't care how long I spent in jail. They could torture me. They keep me in solitary confinement. When I came out, I'd want more big boobs. So I'm guessing if a guy is into a ten-year-old male ass, if you lock him up, he's going to come out looking for ten-year-old male ass solution because that is his thing.

1:15:18 Caller Legalize prostitution. The guys can work for it. They can go get their gazankas up. They don't have to rape girls. They don't have to beat people up to go do these things. They don't have to chop off their legs and keep them like boxing Helena. They can go and pay for it. Have it all legalized and have them go and check and test.

1:15:33 Caller Bud for president.

1:15:35 Drew No, no, I'm running for president, but I'm going to need a running mate. You're going to be that man. Sarah 20, you're on Loveline.

1:15:43 Caller Hey, guys. My question seems so minimal now. Here's the deal. I have heard several talks of how oral sex now transmits diseases much more frequently than having regular intercourse.

1:15:58 Caller Much more frequently. Which disease are you talking about?

1:16:02 Caller Well, probably primarily AIDS.

1:16:04 Caller No, not much more frequently, but it can transmit it.

1:16:07 Drew More frequently?

1:16:09 Caller No. In England, last I understood, they don't even consider oral sex a risk behavior. So there's debate about how much risk that is. I think you are most safe if you just take the position that any exchange of body fluid can result in transmission. So and certainly any other section transmitted disease can be transmitted. I mean, all the section transmitted diseases can be transmitted through oral sex, all of them. But are they more commonly, more easily? No, but they are transmitted that way.

1:16:39 Caller Okay, well even like, I mean, I've heard people say...

1:16:42 Drew Hold on, hold on. Eric, you have something to add to that?

1:16:45 Caller Keep up the good work.

1:16:48 Drew Sarah?

1:16:48 Caller Yes?

1:16:49 Drew Go ahead.

1:16:50 Caller Okay. Hmm, sometimes you gotta wonder...

1:16:55 Drew Hey, they're in a band.

1:16:56 Caller What do you want?

1:16:57 Caller Say no more. Just even like brushing your teeth and the bristles of that causes tiny little cuts in your mouth. Da-da-da-da-da. Need I go on? So then, an intercourse is perfectly acceptable in this day and age to use a condom, but with oral sex, don't you think as men, if a woman proposed having a condom, they're gonna assume that they're gonna have an intercourse? So then how do you avoid that whole problem if you are taking precautions for yourself? And it just, I mean, obviously with oral sex, it's completely different with having a condom and versus not to not have a relive.

1:17:31 Caller Okay, talk to the dentist first, see if they have gingivitis.

1:17:35 Drew No, here's the situation. I've never had oral pleasure with a condom.

1:17:39 Caller Regularly.

1:17:40 Drew Oh, and have you, have you guys, you ever had a blow job with a condom on?

1:17:44 Caller No, I've seen it like in the movies, how they like, they put it on like with their mouth and stuff, but I've never had the pleasure.

1:17:51 Caller Well, no, see, exactly, that's my point. Like it's just so not acceptable, and yet I've heard at the same time that you can get AIDS just easily.

1:17:58 Drew Well, it's not that it's not acceptable. I mean, if you go to a hooker and you get a blow job, you use a condom. That I know. No, no.

1:18:08 Caller You know that from experience.

1:18:09 Caller Anytime you're having sex with somebody that you don't know, whenever you're having sex with someone you don't know, use a condom.

1:18:15 Drew Right, in whatever capacity you have sex.

1:18:17 Caller Yeah, it's gonna feel good no matter what. Maybe it might not feel the best, but it's gonna feel good.

1:18:23 Caller It's gonna feel like a glow-in-the-dark corner or something.

1:18:27 Caller Paint yourself up with some body pains like zebras and pretend like you're wild animals or something walking through the forest.

1:18:34 Drew Again, Bud for Vice President. Now, and let me say this too, ladies, and I'm hoping you guys will see the logic in this. Nothing truly feels better than a man's own hand. I mean, that's what you're used to. You can't do any better than that, but there's a whole psychological thing to the blowjob, to the intercourse, to whatever it is that you're doing. I mean, not only does it feel good physically, but there's a lot of psychology there too. When you're getting a blowjob, your mindset is, hey, I'm getting a blowjob. This is great. And so the condom, although it may cut back a little on the feeling part of it, you're still getting a blowjob.

1:19:11 Caller Grabbing that vagus nerve.

1:19:12 Drew And you still have that, you still can watch that. And if you're like me, you use a padded condom so the penis looks that much bigger. And that was a, but I'm sorry, yeah, Eric. Eric, you're a big guy. And last time...

1:19:25 Caller This is really getting to feel rather familiar.

1:19:27 Drew I think we should play the Pennywise thing. All right, after this, Loveline history with the Pennywise Chronicles.

1:19:52 Caller Right there. It's Loveline on WABN.

1:19:57 Drew And here be the Goo Goo Dolls, regular guys from Buffalo.

1:20:02 Just regular.

1:20:03 Drew And we're just talking about the building trades. John being a plumber, or at least an apprentice plumber, and me being a carpenter. And John was saying that he went to trade school instead of high school.

1:20:17 Yeah. Well, you learned all the high school stuff too, but you took shop class for half of the day.

1:20:21 Drew Was it a totally different school?

1:20:23 No, it was the same school, but the back end of the school was all the machine shops and the plumbing shop and the carpenter shop and all that. And then you spent half the day there, and then the other half of the day you went and you took a math class and a history class and an English class.

1:20:39 Drew Did you get put there, or did you request?

1:20:41 No, I wanted to go there. I wanted to go there because I don't know why. Because I was stupid.

1:20:46 Drew No, listen, it's smart. I was saying during the break, I don't think they have trade school out here. Not really anymore. I mean, certainly I was a candidate for trade school, and everyone I went to high school with, my clique was a candidate for trade school. And out here it was always this, you know, work extra hard, take the SAT and go to college. But the reality is, is most of these guys were dim-witted stoners. In no f-ing way were they gonna get anything on the SAT except for the 500 points they gave you from the name of, yeah, he drooled on a square. I think it's true. I mean, I got out of high school and started cleaning carpets. And I wish that someone, because, hey, if, you know, a lot of guys go to college for four years, they take art history or something, they get out and they go to work for the school board or whatever, and they end up making about eight bucks an hour.

1:21:43 Right.

1:21:43 Drew And hell, if you took plumbing for four years and you did a little apprenticeship.

1:21:48 $22.50 an hour for a journeyman plumber.

1:21:51 Drew Oh, yeah. And then that's in Buffalo. Out here, it's probably another $10 or $12 an hour. I mean, I worked with a drywaller who was from Buffalo when I was doing earthquake rehab out here. And I was like, how much were you making in Buffalo? And he was like, I had to pay them $1.50 an hour in the form and sodomize me during every break. And I was like, oh man, that's rough.

1:22:11 He has a strong union there, that carpenter's union boy.

1:22:14 Drew No, seriously, he was getting like $6 an hour. And out here, he was making $15 or something like that.

1:22:20 Well, a lot of people leave there to come to Greener Pastures, and it's a really great place to be from. And everybody's got a story, like Dr. Marcel was saying. His dad grew up in Buffalo, it's the-

1:22:33 Drew Drew banged his first hooker in Buffalo. Watch his first man die there, too, I believe. No, on the trade theme, because we have a lot of people that are at crossroads here, we have a lot of listeners, 14, 15, 16, a little confused. They've been pulling season Ds their whole life, and happy to get those. And there's nothing, there's no shame in saying, listen, I'm not a scholar. I'm not made to go to college. Hell, if you're having trouble getting out of high school, why go to college and confound yourself that much more?

1:23:06 And waste the money and wind up.

1:23:07 Drew Waste everyone's time and money. You learn a trade, you get certified, you do a little apprenticeship, and hell, by the time you're 22 and all your friends are graduating from college wondering which uncle's plant to go to work for, you're making 20, 25 bucks an hour.

1:23:24 Caller Absolutely.

1:23:25 Drew You got yourself a little savings plan and a little medical and dental, and there's nothing wrong with that.

1:23:30 Caller And you know, in a lot of circumstances, you have a union to back you up, you know, to a certain day.

1:23:35 Drew I totally agree. If I wasn't such a comedic genius, I would still be doing carpentry today.

1:23:40 Caller There you go.

1:23:42 Drew I'm glad I said that.

1:23:44 Caller But it's a good thing.

1:23:45 Drew It's a good thing. Totally agree.

1:23:46 Caller Building things. I'll tell you, you know, I rebuilt my sister's bathroom after we finished the last record because I was having a separation anxiety from working 16 hours a day doing a record. So I redid my sister's bathroom, just gutted it, put all new plumbing in it, redid all the walls and the whole thing. And I was so much more satisfied when I saw that done than when I heard the record.

1:24:08 Drew There is a-

1:24:10 Caller I really was.

1:24:11 Drew I'd rather do a record than a bathroom.

1:24:13 Caller Well no, but I wanted to do it.

1:24:14 Drew But there's something very tangible about doing something with your hands.

1:24:19 Caller I'm still proud of myself when I go to her bathroom.

1:24:23 Drew Me too, but I don't want you to hit me. John.

1:24:26 Yes.

1:24:27 Drew You're 35.

1:24:28 Caller 35.

1:24:29 Drew You want to know how often to drain the trap. Speaking of plumbing.

1:24:35 Caller Maybe, sort of, something like that. Just good evening to all of you who are on that show, Dr. Marcel. Can I start with him first?

1:24:42 Drew Go ahead.

1:24:43 Caller Hey, you know, I stubbed my toe not too long ago. I lost a toenail and it's coming back and it's growing like it's never grown before. Like, really weird.

1:24:53 Caller That's not unusual.

1:24:54 Drew It isn't?

1:24:54 Caller Yeah, he damaged the nail bed. And often the nail will grow back odd. It might grow back odd just for the first part of the time, and then eventually it'll start to look normal.

1:25:02 Drew So like hyper growth because it moves somehow?

1:25:05 Caller No, it's not growing.

1:25:06 Caller It's like growing up instead of-

1:25:08 Caller It's thicker, it's grown a little wrong.

1:25:10 Caller It's growing off the bed.

1:25:12 Drew All right. What do you want, John?

1:25:13 Caller Okay, okay, okay. Well, the second thing I was going to ask him was-

1:25:17 Caller Ask Adam.

1:25:18 Drew That's enough with Marcel.

1:25:20 Caller Well, I know I just had one more question with him though.

1:25:22 Drew All right.

1:25:23 Caller When a woman has a breast enlargement, does she lose the sensation in her nipple?

1:25:28 Caller A percentage do, about 10 to 20 percent.

1:25:31 Caller So if I'm going to talk my wife into having that done-

1:25:34 Caller Don't talk her into anything.

1:25:35 Caller 80% of them don't have that loss of sensation?

1:25:37 Caller No, don't talk her into it. She's got to do it for herself. I mean, no woman should ever get a breast enlargement for anybody but herself.

1:25:47 Drew Right, but ultimately, it's for everyone to enjoy. I mean, women get it because society says we like women with bigger jugs. So ultimately, it's for other people.

1:25:56 Caller That may be, but if they're not going to be doing it for their own self-esteem, they're not going to be happy with it. They're going to have a lot of problems.

1:26:04 Drew Do all women lose some marginal percentage of sensation? Or is there any way to measure that anyway? And who gets to do that? I would like to be the orator of that. Can I be the nipple tester? Close your eyes. One hand or two hands? I would really love to be involved with that process.

1:26:29 Caller We can talk.

1:26:31 Caller My original question, not really how much was draining the vein, was okay or not, but I mean, am I the only 55-year-old who does still?

1:26:43 Drew I'm 33.

1:26:44 Caller You're 33?

1:26:45 Drew Yes. And I'm still on a fever pace. I'm still on the pace I set in the 11th grade when I was home sick one day. And they ran a Charlie's Angels marathon at a local station. So I can...

1:26:59 Caller Now, you're single, right, Adam?

1:27:00 Drew Yeah.

1:27:01 Caller So that's normal for you. You're single.

1:27:03 Drew Right.

1:27:04 Caller I'm married.

1:27:06 Drew All right. Well, how often do you get laid?

1:27:08 Caller Well, not as much as it was when we first were married.

1:27:12 Drew Sure.

1:27:13 Caller But I mean, you know, and now we have ten kids and we work jobs.

1:27:18 Drew Wait a minute. You don't have ten kids.

1:27:19 Caller No, I don't have ten kids.

1:27:20 Drew But how often do you get laid?

1:27:24 Caller Once a week.

1:27:25 Drew OK. So that leaves six days open.

1:27:28 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:27:30 Drew That's fine. And listen, it's not a substitute. I don't know what your guys take on this is. But a lot of women think, well, the guy's masturbating. I'm really offended because I may not. I must not be doing my job sexually or he's unsatisfied in some way. It is kind of a separate issue.

1:27:48 Caller Yeah, it is.

1:27:49 Drew It's it is the same urethra, same sperm. Different issue. I mean, the same result. Different motivation.

1:27:57 Caller Yeah.

1:27:58 Drew Am I right?

1:27:58 Caller Absolutely.

1:27:59 Drew I mean, this is this is a this is something that you hold sacred from a very early age.

1:28:05 Caller It's quality time with yourself.

1:28:07 Caller Right.

1:28:08 Caller It's like meditating.

1:28:10 Caller Right.

1:28:10 Drew And there's no way it's like your dog or something. But it's also like it's like you don't kill the dog because you get married.

1:28:16 Caller Right.

1:28:17 Caller And it's also sometimes joins the family. Yeah, right. Right. It's just another added dimension. Right. It's it's and if and if God didn't want us to do it, he wouldn't have made our arms long enough to reach it.

1:28:29 Drew That's right. Or he would have made my penis a little longer so that I know that would just be sick, though. All right. I was just thinking about that. I was going to ask a gross philosophical question about having a long penis and God. But it's it's a long story. And I want to play Lazy Eye because we're behind anyway. Engineer Mike, is that queued up? Can we go? Yes. Off the Batman soundtrack. The Goo Goo Dolls. Lazy Eye. Lazy Eye from The Goo Goo Dolls off the Batman soundtrack. Yeah, I like that song. Cool. Yeah, it's real good. I saw it on the K-Rock Playlist. That's a good sign. That's cool. Oh, yes. You know where your bread is spotted. We got to take a little break, and we'll be back with more Loveline right after this. Alright. I don't know if I can follow myself, but I think that's the best show we've ever done.

1:33:24 Caller It's quality.

1:33:25 Drew Certainly, and you can't put a price on that kind of quality. So before we go, I want to give some thanks to those who deserve it. The fabulous phone screener Lisa, phone screener Sherry for doing a wonderful job, the Angular One producer Anne, as always, for putting her feminine stink all over the show, and engineer Mike whose hair is growing back quite nicely, by the way, for working his magic behind the console. So, until next time, this is Ace Rockolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:34:10 Best Of Grr, argh.

1:34:11 Caller We now return you to your highly tested, regularly scheduled programming.

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Thursday, September 10, 1998