Episode 1000754888121

0:01 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

0:14 Voiceover What are you insane?

0:17 Drew Put the team to work, didn't they?

0:19 Adam Yeah. All right. Let's take a call. I had to react to the new opening, and I like the sound of the air ratchet when my name is mentioned. Amanda. Yeah. You're 14.

0:30 Caller Yeah.

0:30 What's going on?

0:32 Caller My parents are really strict, and that's why I'm whispering right now because I don't want them to catch me on the phone, but they don't allow me to wear the clothes I want to wear. I'm not allowed to wear tight shirts. I'm supposed to wear baggy clothes.

0:49 Drew That's why we need school uniforms.

0:51 Adam Yeah.

0:51 Drew Get rid of that.

0:52 Adam Put them all, every girl be in tube tops and hip huggers.

0:55 Drew No, no. Come on. But seriously, think about it. They would take away the competition and who has more money to spend on clothes and take the parents out of being the bad guy.

1:02 Adam Yeah. Listen, I'm all for it. I, you know me, I want to run the country like a boot camp. That's fine. I want to, I want to confiscate all the kids' shoes when they come in so they don't, so they don't run away. What? You're like scared straight. Okay. I want, if I ran a school, I would not only have a uniform, but I would confiscate all the kids' shoes.

1:24 Drew Is that in your book?

1:24 Adam Right when they came in.

1:25 Drew Mine comp?

1:27 Adam Mine class. So, Amanda? Yeah. Are they religious?

1:31 Caller No, not really actually, but like I'm not allowed to see friends. Like if I want to see a friend, they have to know the parent really well. They have to know the friend.

1:40 Adam That's good. Have you been screwing up or were they always this way?

1:44 Caller I'm a straight A student and like they have to know we can advance if I go see the friends and I'm not.

1:51 Drew Boy, how do you know how much structure is too much structure? I don't know how to determine that. I really don't.

1:57 Adam You never know when you're hearing it from one side. I'm sure if we put mom and dad on the line, they tell you they found a pot farm in a closet.

2:04 Caller Well, I did get in trouble for sneaking out once, but before that, I had been really good. I had gone out of my way to be nice to them.

2:14 Adam What did you do to sneak out?

2:16 Caller I snuck out through my window and saw my friend.

2:18 Drew How long ago did that happen?

2:20 Caller I was over at his house.

2:22 Drew How long ago did that happen?

2:25 Caller Like three weeks ago a month.

2:27 Drew It's been since then that they became so strict or were they already very strict? No, they're always strict.

2:31 Caller I used to be really goody-two-shoes. Like really, like a loner kind of. And just recently I've started to have friends.

2:41 Drew Oh boy.

2:41 Adam Well, let me ask you a question to Amanda. Do you have an older brother or sister who is out of control?

2:47 Drew No, she's number one.

2:48 Caller I have a younger sister who's really good though.

2:51 Adam You have a younger sister, huh? Did your mom have you when she was too young or anything like that?

2:57 No, they waited 11 years to have me.

2:59 Caller But I think the problem is because she had a really strict childhood. Like she couldn't wear her hair down. It was so strict. But my dad, he didn't. And, you know, it's hard for him though, because he's hearing impaired, he can't hear, he's deaf.

3:13 Oh, boy.

3:15 Adam Oh, you really drove that point home. It's hard for him because he's hearing impaired, he can't hear, he's deaf. What are you saying? He can't hear any sound?

3:24 Caller No, he has hearing aids though. But when he doesn't wear them, he's deaf.

3:29 Adam Well, I wish I, hold on, I, you know what, I put earplugs in my ears last night. Drew and I just got back from Vegas, along with Drew's lovely wife and the kids and a bunch of people to celebrate Drew's birthday. And when you stay in a hotel, they have these fire rated doors. They're doors that take four days to burn through and they weigh like 400 pounds and they're on the pneumatic closers. And they have the, they're called timely jams and doors are all metal and they're screwed into the metal stud walls and they shut on these pneumatic closers and they have to shut and latch. So and we're staying at the hard rock. So there's drunken idiots rolling in at 530 in the morning and they open their door and then they let the door go and it slams and shakes the whole wall. So I stuffed cotton in my ears. But if I were deaf like Amanda's dad, I would just take my ear, my, you know what I'm talking about. I take my device out before I went to bed.

4:24 Drew The problem then would be that you'd never stop talking. See, the rest of it would be subjected to all your diatribes.

4:28 Adam All right.

4:29 Drew We'd never be able to stop.

4:30 Adam All right. So Amanda. Uh-oh.

4:34 Drew Amanda? Yeah? All right. I think you need to sort of negotiate something with your parents. You need to create some sort of system of rewards, create friends that they trust, but you're going to have to build this over time. It's not as though you're going to be able to, clearly these are the kinds of people that if you start acting out against their structure, they're going to get more uptight, and it's just going to be a battle that will go on for years. You have to find some way to get them to trust you and understand. And it sounds like you're beginning to spread your wings a little bit and experiment about who you are with your peers, and you need to do that, and they need to understand that. And somehow you have to find a way, whether it is a trusted friend or a parent of a friend or somebody your mom trusts, some way. She's fine.

5:10 Adam She's fine. I just want to give this quick warning now.

5:15 Drew My head's not working tonight.

5:16 Adam All right. Don't jinx me. Disclaimer or something out to all teenagers, which is don't believe wherever you're at. You know what I mean? Your dad's an asshole. Don't believe it.

5:26 Drew Don't believe that he is?

5:27 Adam Just don't buy in to everything. It's over with soon. You just move on. You know what I mean? Think about all the crap that was running through your head when you were 14, 15, some girl you liked, you didn't like, you spent a month trying to get the guts up to ask some girl to a prom or something. It's all, you know what it means now? Nothing. It just doesn't mean a thing.

5:45 Drew It really is very similar to, say, being 7 years old and being in a horror house or something. You just got to hang on and it's going to be over. It'll end. You'll remember it, it'll be a memory, it'll be horrible, but it's over. That's the end.

5:57 Adam Yes.

5:57 Drew And you're out the other side.

5:58 Adam That's absolutely what it is. When you're 7, you're walking through a haunted house, you really buy. You think that beef liver is a human liver.

6:04 Drew Right.

6:05 Adam You think the guy with the hood on is really headless horseman or flying Dutchman, whoever it is. But it's not. And when you're 14 and 15, 16, you live and die every day. And then you get our age and you don't care.

6:20 Drew You just die.

6:20 Adam You just have embarrassing pictures of you with this and bad hair. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-4-4-4-5-5. Hello, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. They ran a, I saw a Loveline TV commercial.

6:38 Drew Oh, really? They actually are showing commercials.

6:41 Adam Just one. And it's got Chris McGaha in it.

6:43 Drew Oh, yes. That is genius.

6:46 Adam Chris McGaha was the spokesmodel we had on location and in the audience and wherever. She was the blonde girl who was there first season, which was two years ago, two years ago, and about 150 shows ago. And since then, there's been two other women. But when they cut together the one and only Loveline TV commercial I've ever seen, there's Chris McGaha.

7:09 Drew Genius.

7:10 Adam Let me tell you something about this business, people. Nobody does their job. Nobody. And nobody does their job really anywhere except for they don't get paid very well, so I don't care. This business, people get paid a lot of money and still refuse to do their job. It's pathetic. Chris McGaha on the spot.

7:30 Drew And nothing against Chris.

7:31 Adam Nothing against Chris. This is the equivalent to that. It's as if they ran a Wheel of Fortune commercial and Vanna White had gone two years ago and there had been another woman replaced her and then they got rid of her and they put another woman.

7:45 Drew It's much more atlantic than that because Vanna White is associated with the show. You know what I mean? It'd be like the Bewitched episodes when they're running the new Darren and when the commercials came along, they had old Darren on the show.

7:55 Adam Right. Yes.

7:57 All right.

7:58 Adam I still think my Vanna White thing was pretty good. You jackass. New Darren and old Darren.

8:04 Drew I'm just playing too much time with you. This is going to be bad too coming up.

8:07 Adam Mary Ann. We'll get into that. Just be quiet. Mary Ann.

8:11 Caller Hello.

8:12 Adam What's going on? I can't see how old she is. Turn that screen. 18.

8:16 Caller I'm 18, yeah. Well, I was wondering if it was possible that you might know that you're pregnant even before your period is late.

8:25 Drew Why does your voice sound so familiar to me? Have you called the show before?

8:28 Caller I've never called before.

8:30 Drew Wow, it's interesting.

8:31 Caller Never.

8:31 Drew Okay. If you've had sex with two weeks, has it been two weeks since you had sex?

8:37 Caller About four or five days, actually.

8:39 Drew Yeah, two weeks is about the shortest interval that you can expect one of the home pregnancy tests to be positive.

8:45 Adam Well, how would you know? Have you been pregnant before?

8:48 Caller No, never.

8:50 Drew The point is, though, if you have intercourse a week into your cycle, and you don't want to wait four weeks to see if you're late, and you want to know in two weeks, you can do that.

8:59 Adam I thought she was asking more on an intuitive level. Is that what you're saying? Like you have a feeling?

9:07 Caller Well, I don't know. I have no idea.

9:09 Drew How the hell did you pick that up?

9:10 Adam I don't know. I don't really listen to the calls anymore. She said, I want to know. The way she worded it initially was, it led me to believe that she thought she knew even before she'd missed her period.

9:22 Drew There are many women report with astonishing accuracy, some sense that they're pregnant. Some women even the morning after intercourse amazingly. And it can be anything from just some sort of feeling to changes in your body fluid, you're hanging on the fluid in some way, or your breasts become tendermy. And it's that usually doesn't come to us quite a bit later, but some women insist that that's something that happens very early. It is not a reliable way to tell whether or not you're pregnant, okay?

9:50 Caller Right. Okay, well, I just, I was just kind of looking at you.

9:52 Drew Do you believe you're pregnant?

9:53 Caller I don't, I don't know. We, okay, we used the condom and everything, you know, nothing, and like he pulled out, like even before.

10:00 Drew With a condom on?

10:01 Caller Right. And I...

10:02 Drew Is this your first time?

10:03 Caller No.

10:04 Drew Why are you so anxious about this? What's the deal?

10:06 Caller I'm just, I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance, because I have a feeling that I was ovulating during that time. And so I just wasn't sure I was...

10:15 Drew Okay, well, that's a high risk time to have intercourse, but you made all the necessary arrangements and you should not be pregnant.

10:22 Adam Pulled out with the condom.

10:23 Drew Yeah.

10:24 God bless him.

10:26 Adam Marie.

10:27 Yeah.

10:27 Adam Hey, you're 20.

10:28 Caller Yep.

10:28 Adam What's going on?

10:30 Caller Well, I've been with my boyfriend for a little under a year and I have never had an orgasm during sex.

10:35 Adam Great. I hope he's listening.

10:38 Caller Well, he knows.

10:39 Adam He does?

10:40 Caller Yeah, he knows.

10:40 Drew She says it in a way that suggests he knows.

10:43 Caller We've talked about this and we've tried.

10:44 Drew Sorry, hammering out about this.

10:46 Adam But you have had one during oral sex?

10:49 Caller Yeah.

10:50 Adam And he's been the provider of the oral sex?

10:53 Drew Yep. Any sense what the problem is?

10:55 I have no idea.

10:56 Caller We've tried different positions.

10:58 Drew And it's something that's been okay with other people?

11:00 Caller I've never had sex with anybody else.

11:03 Adam He just dodged a huge bullet there.

11:04 Caller Yeah.

11:05 Adam You know what I'm saying, Drew? Because normally you get that. I don't understand it. Every other time, like clockwork with every guy from the team, it just never fails. But for some reason, never say that to a guy.

11:16 Caller Yeah, I won't. Don't worry.

11:18 Adam As you've never been with another guy, you can only achieve it during oral sex.

11:22 Caller Or by myself, but yeah.

11:24 Adam Right. Oh, geez, you gotta be limber. Oh, I see.

11:28 Caller Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

11:30 Adam You're not performing oral sex.

11:31 Caller No, I'm not performing oral sex on myself.

11:33 Adam Okay, Drew. Yeah. When you're done gesturing for coffee, wouldn't you say that at 20, there's plenty of women who cannot have an orgasm through intercourse? Probably more than not. Than not.

11:48 Drew Yes.

11:49 Adam So you just have joined the ranks of the majority.

11:51 Drew However, I would suspect, and I don't know this to be true necessarily, but that a significant, if not majority of those, probably don't really masturbate, don't really understand themselves quite as well as Marie seems to. You know what I'm saying?

12:03 Adam Yeah. But Marie, this is the first guy she's been with. So it's not as if. Yeah.

12:09 Drew It might be that. I mean, maybe this isn't as connected a relationship as you think.

12:13 Caller Oh, I think it is.

12:14 Drew Yeah.

12:14 Caller Yeah.

12:15 Adam Yeah.

12:16 Caller I don't know. I was just wondering if maybe there was like some other kind of certain positions or anything else. Like maybe.

12:22 Adam Well, I mean, just, I mean, you have fun trying. I mean, just feel it out.

12:28 Caller Okay.

12:28 Drew You have no sense of where things are going off track.

12:31 Caller No, I have no idea.

12:33 Drew It's just not working at all.

12:35 Caller It's just not working at all. I don't know. We just tried stuff and it, I don't, for some reason, just not during sex.

12:43 Adam How long does it take you when he's performing orally?

12:49 Caller A little while.

12:51 Adam Like how long?

12:53 Caller Well, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes.

12:57 Adam That's dedication. Do you allow at least the TV to be on so we have something to do?

13:03 Caller Well, it's usually like in the shower.

13:05 Adam Oh, in the shower?

13:06 Caller Yeah.

13:07 Adam He could take on more water in the Titanic in that time. In the shower?

13:13 Caller Yeah.

13:14 Adam He's performing oral sex on you in the shower?

13:16 Caller Yeah.

13:17 Adam Someone's going to get hurt. No. He's going to slip and hit his head on a faucet. No. All right. I don't want to get too graphic, but when you're in the shower, where's he? Sort of down there, like he's kneeling at the altar?

13:32 Caller Yeah.

13:33 Adam And his mouth isn't filled up with water?

13:35 Caller No, he's facing the other direction from way from the water, so it's hitting his back.

13:38 Drew We've got to get an orthopedist and an actual facial surgeon for this guy.

13:43 Adam Does he use any sort of device, like a nose plug, like something that they use in the synchronized swimming?

13:49 No, no, no.

13:51 Adam All right, God bless you.

13:52 Drew Shower cap.

13:53 Adam Yeah, 20 minutes in that show.

13:56 Drew We don't have a graded response.

13:57 Adam I would love, and I know this doesn't exist, but I swear to God, I would love to see some data on the amount of water that is wasted each year in this country via sex or masturbation.

14:12 Drew Yeah.

14:12 Adam And here's, you could link it this way. She'd normally take a shower for six minutes. All right. Now the shower's taken 26 minutes. There's 475 gallons of water.

14:22 Drew And the teenage guys would just run the shower. They're not even in it.

14:25 Adam They're not even in it. They don't even have the quiet dignity to get in the shower. They don't even, and they don't even put like a ficus tree in there or anything. They don't put a plant.

14:33 Drew That is bizarre. You must have done that.

14:35 Adam No, I never did that. I wasn't a shower guy. I was always scared I was going to hit my head. They're going to find me that. But I'm going to tell my teenage son, listen, I know you're going to whack off in the shower. I know you're going to have the water running. I'm paying for this stuff. Please, I'm going to keep some potted plants in the bathroom. Just please rotate those through there. Put down. Why couldn't you just use my penis?

14:55 Drew I'm sure it's because of all the paraphernalia they've got to lay out, the pictures and things, right?

14:59 Adam Not only that. Okay, those are two scenarios. Then there's the sort of mishap in the jacuzzi and we got to drain it. You know what I mean? Things got a little out of hand. We used to live in a house at a jacuzzi. Roommate Ralph would throw a party. A couple of big chicks get in there after hours. It just seemed like a good idea to drain it afterward.

15:19 Drew That's wasted water.

15:20 Adam But I would love to see the dad on that. I'm sure it's billions of gallons each year. And then I'd like to take that stat sheet over to Morocco or some place. Find some place that's real arid.

15:35 Drew Here in Southern California. All right. We get penalized out here.

15:38 Adam Oh really? Yeah. John.

15:42 Yeah.

15:42 Adam You're 15.

15:43 Caller Yeah.

15:43 Adam What's going on?

15:45 I have this new like girlfriend. She's not really like my girlfriend.

15:48 Caller She's my friend.

15:48 It's a girl.

15:49 Caller And we're kind of having like this S&M thing going on.

15:52 And I don't know if it's because my ex-girlfriend, she used to be like the crap out of me. I don't know if that could like interest it.

15:58 Drew I suspect the ex-girlfriend was just the latest in a long line of people that beat the crap out of you.

16:04 Caller Not really. No one's ever really beat me. Just like my mom used to spank me when I was a kid.

16:10 Drew All the time?

16:12 Caller Yeah, basically.

16:13 Drew Did she use an object or her hand?

16:15 Caller Every once in a while she used to hit me with like a paddle or a spoon.

16:17 Drew Okay. That's what makes people like what you're into. It makes people seek out relationships with people who will provide similar kinds of abuse. And it is highly associated, at least in some theoretic constructs, with people getting into S&M type behaviors.

16:34 Adam You know, it's funny, the kitchen to women is like an arsenal.

16:38 Drew Sure.

16:38 Adam I never really thought about it. Frying pans, spoons and spatulas. And then you get into the steak knives when things really get crazy. But anytime anyone ever tells me about their mom beating them with something, it comes right from the kitchen drawer. I don't know, I guess as they spend more time there. Guys, their arsenal is the closet. Dants of belts, shoes and stuff like that. Maybe a toupee.

17:00 Drew That's interesting.

17:01 Adam Yeah, think about that. You're very fascinating. Hey John, but what paddled by the way? You hear paddled, but who's got a paddle?

17:09 Caller We had a ping pong paddle.

17:11 Adam Oh really?

17:11 Caller Yeah, and it had my name on one side and my mom's grandkids name.

17:15 Drew Yeah, but John, that is overt abuse. I mean, this is like planned corporal punishment.

17:19 Adam They didn't even have a ping pong table. They just had the paddles.

17:22 Drew With his name on it. They picked up the paddle. John, with your name on it. I mean, this is outlandish. This is what makes kids do this. And the kinds of parents that would choose to do this to their kids have issues themselves.

17:35 Adam So the kind of people again you're going to have to have the grandkids name on the other side.

17:39 Caller Yeah, they had my name on one side and the grandkids name on the other side.

17:43 Drew How old were the grandkids as compared to you?

17:46 Caller They're like five or six years younger than me.

17:48 Drew And how old was it? A sister or brother that created these grandkids?

17:52 It was a step sister.

17:54 Drew How old was she when she had them?

17:57 Caller Well, she's had like every single kid has had a different father and she was like nineteen.

18:02 Drew Okay, now, again, this is great. We're painting a picture here of a certain kind of family. It's the all-American family right now, by the way. It's the standard American family as we hear about it.

18:13 Adam That's why we're moving to Canada. Hey, John.

18:15 Yeah.

18:16 Adam All right. This is why you crave a nice beating sexually.

18:20 Drew And an abuse in general.

18:21 Adam Right.

18:22 All right.

18:22 Adam So don't get anyone pregnant so you don't have another family of abusers or abusees. And see what you can do to work this out of the sexual equation, although it's going to be tough. I really believe. I was just watching the news the other day. Guy was let out of prison. I don't know. It was like 12 hours after he spent 20 years in there for rape. He raped somebody. You know what I mean? It is it is carved. It is carved in.

18:47 Drew Yeah.

18:48 Adam I mean, you're into what everybody just close your eyes for a second and think about what you're into sexually. Think about what a good time is to you. And then think about how hard it'd be to pry that out of your.

19:00 Drew Never do that again.

19:01 Adam Never do it again. I'd go right to the A cup. That's right. You put a revolver down in front of me like an A cup bra. I start sweating. I reach. I'd reach for the revolver. But I have to kill myself.

19:14 Drew But the S&M stuff has a fetishistic quality to it. And people tend to need that in order to function sexually.

19:19 Adam And that's what I'm saying.

19:20 Drew But one of the things he can do is try to stay away from that behavior rather than indulging in it and see if he can't establish some sort of intimacy without it. Because people are capable of that sometimes. It's not quite your breast thing.

19:33 Adam Also, I miss, you know, I've been out of town for three days.

19:37 Drew Yeah, but where you been?

19:38 Adam I've been in Vegas.

19:39 Drew Yeah.

19:39 Adam And still I miss my, I miss my porn collection. Don't you, Drew, when you leave?

19:45 Drew Miss your porn collection? I miss you talking about it.

19:50 Adam Sure do. I'm excited to get back to that.

19:53 All right.

19:53 Drew The bunker is secure.

19:54 Adam Maybe we'll ramp the show up early.

19:57 Drew Oh, you just got here.

19:58 Adam Yeah.

19:59 All right.

20:00 Adam Drew's here. I'm here. You're here. And let's just sell this and we'll go. Stephanie.

20:06 Drew Stephanie. Or whatever your real name is. Stephanie.

20:10 Adam Of 18 year old who has multiple orgasms with boyfriend, but after sex has a major wet spot. Why? What's that mean?

20:18 Drew I don't know. Are you there?

20:20 Hello.

20:21 Drew Is this Stephanie?

20:22 Yeah.

20:22 Adam What kind of?

20:24 No, I was on the line.

20:25 Drew That's nice. You're going to be in purgatory for a while.

20:28 Adam Now, I'm going to let you flow down in Loveline purgatory.

20:31 Drew You're going to have to spend some time there.

20:33 Adam Hi, Stephanie.

20:34 Yeah.

20:34 Adam If you're lucky, we'll get back to you when we get back from the commercial. If you're unlucky, you'll be floating around for about an hour and 25 minutes.

20:41 Okay.

20:42 Adam All right. Just hang on. We'll be back.

20:46 Caller Loveline's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back. WEBN.

21:03 We're not keeping you up, are we?

21:05 I'm pitching a tent.

21:06 Oh, that's good. It's Loveline.

21:15 Caller Hi, this is Clyde Barker. You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

21:21 Adam Adam Corolla. Those damn Brits. They got put an A at the end of everything but my name. They're dying to use that A. Water. What other? Refrigerator.

21:35 Drew N-E-R. The R disappeared.

21:37 Adam Right. Except for when they really get a chance to use that A. Yeah. They go, I went down to the health spa.

21:48 Drew And saw Adam Corolla.

21:50 Adam I had a girlfriend from England. We lived in Santa Monica. She called it Santa Monica. The Adam Corolla. There it is. There's the A. The A you've been dying to use. Lata. Right out there. Just go ahead. Seize it. Capitalize it. No one has been able to explain to me why the English do that.

22:09 Drew Should we let Stephanie hang out?

22:10 Adam It's just an F with us. Yeah. We'll take Stephanie next. Matt.

22:15 Caller Hi.

22:16 Adam Hey, you're 15.

22:17 Caller Yeah. I was wondering about Epstein-Barr.

22:20 Drew What about him?

22:20 Caller I think that I might have gotten it. But I'm not sure because I haven't had any of the symptoms that I think are associated with it.

22:27 Drew Why would you think then you have it?

22:29 Caller Because I had a friend that she says she has, she says she has it. And then one of my other friends drank after her and I've been drinking after the friend.

22:36 Drew No, forget it.

22:37 Adam Yeah.

22:38 Caller Really?

22:38 Adam Listen, there's this thing, there used to be this disease. Actually, about 100 years ago, we used to call it being no count. Then we started calling it being lazy. And then it got changed to Epstein-Barr virus.

22:51 Drew Well, even that's been...

22:52 Adam About 10 years ago. And everyone decided they had it.

22:54 Drew It's changed again. Now, it's called... Actually, for a while, it was called Neurostenia. And now it's called Chronic Fatigue. And it's probably a multiplicity of different problems.

23:04 Adam Yeah. It's called depression, really. It's called hating your job.

23:07 Drew That to me seems to be the most common. And whether or not that's triggered by some sort of viral attack, it's very controversial. But for the most part, the whole Epstein-Barr issue, I don't think is an important... I find it to be a very unsatisfying diagnostic road to go down, I'll tell you. In fact, never have I found it with that.

23:25 Adam And is there any... There's no medication for it. There's no way to cure it, is there?

23:28 Drew Guess what? I mean, there's all kinds of experimental things that have been done and very sort of anecdotal reports of success. But I'll tell you, the primary treatment, antidepressant medication.

23:37 Adam Right. It's just depression.

23:39 Drew Let me tell you something. You know what? Don't get too adamant about that. We don't really know what it is.

23:46 Adam I know what it is. When you're depressed, you can't get out of bed.

23:48 Drew You're not a professional, you're not in a position to say for sure.

23:50 Adam Listen.

23:50 Drew Just put a disclaimer on it.

23:51 I understand you're not a professional.

23:52 Adam That's why I can say this. That's why I can say this. I'm not, my mind is not clouded with the facts, Drew.

23:59 Drew Indeed it isn't.

24:00 Adam Understand?

24:01 Drew Yeah, I do.

24:01 Adam I know more than all you idiots anyway, you so-called professionals, please. Ask me about my credentials. The deal is, is when you're depressed, you don't want to get out of bed.

24:10 Drew Because you've been through this. You had this, right?

24:12 Adam I know it. I know it. That's, it's that way with everybody.

24:16 Drew But when you had it, were you aware you were depressed? You just didn't want to get out of bed.

24:19 Adam No, I knew I was depressed.

24:20 Drew Did you?

24:21 Adam Well, I didn't want to get out of bed because my job sucked and I didn't want to go. Yeah. Or whatever, wherever it is, I didn't want to go there. Depression, it robs you. I mean, that's, think about what motivation is. Motivation is wanting to do something.

24:37 Drew Yeah.

24:37 Adam If you don't want to do it, then you don't want to go. You don't want to leave the house.

24:40 Drew It's often worse than that, though. It's just some indolent, like carrying weight on your shoulder.

24:45 Adam Right. All right. I'm over simple stuff. Stephanie.

24:47 Caller Yeah.

24:48 Adam You're 18.

24:48 Caller Yeah.

24:49 Adam What's going on?

24:50 Caller Whenever me and my boyfriend, we have sex.

24:52 Caller And then we're getting really into it and everything.

24:57 Caller And then my orgasm won't come out. And then often it does, there's like this liquid that comes out.

25:03 Drew That's normal.

25:05 Caller What is it?

25:07 Drew There's a lot of different glands in and around that area that are capable of producing a certain amount of secretion. Some women more than others. Some women occasionally are in continence of urine. That can happen too. But usually it's equivalent of sort of a female ejaculation. And it's nothing you should be ashamed of or worried about.

25:23 Caller Okay.

25:25 Adam Where's your boyfriend during this period?

25:28 Caller He's with me.

25:29 Drew He's worried about the guys.

25:32 Caller It seems like he's disgusted with it.

25:34 Adam He's worried about it. We had a guy call in two weeks ago, had a detached retina from a very powerful charge. He was performing oral sex. The doctor told him he may never fight again, but he came back, beat Hagler in 15. Very controversial. Hey, Seventy, this is when he's having intercourse with you though, right?

25:56 Caller Yeah.

25:57 Adam Okay. Does he ever perform orally on you?

25:59 Caller Yeah.

26:00 Adam Yeah. Does it happen then?

26:01 Caller No.

26:02 Adam Okay. Why not?

26:04 Caller Because I don't come during that.

26:07 Adam Oh, really?

26:08 Caller I just can't.

26:08 It does.

26:11 Adam That's a blessing, but you can do it during the intercourse, right?

26:14 Caller Yeah.

26:15 Adam Oh, this guy's got to be. Is your boyfriend real happy?

26:18 Caller Yeah.

26:19 Adam Yeah. Okay. All right. You're fine.

26:22 Caller Yeah.

26:22 Drew Decent contraception. Safe sex.

26:24 Caller We do.

26:25 Drew Good.

26:25 Adam Okay. Is there any danger that the blast from her discharge may just rip the condom right off of his Johnson?

26:32 No.

26:33 Drew Sorry, Adam. You just wanted him to be somehow not quite as happy as he might be.

26:38 Adam Frank.

26:39 Hi there.

26:40 Adam You're 18.

26:41 Caller Yeah. What's going on? Well, you see, my girlfriend has been talking about a friend quite a bit, and she wouldn't like switch from her lunch to my lunch, because I was the only class that she had with him during a day. She was just buying some jewelry the other day, and she's like, Oh, yeah, my friend would like this.

27:04 Drew What do you mean this is your girlfriend? What does that mean?

27:06 Caller My girlfriend.

27:07 Adam Hey, hold on. Listening to Frank speaks like reading a ransom note, isn't it? Where they took letters and they cut them out from different publications and stuck them on, and they left out a lot of words, and you're trying to make sense of it. She wouldn't switch to her lunch.

27:24 Caller But anyway, when you're buying jewelry, yeah, like, what is my girlfriend to me?

27:31 Drew What does it mean that she is your girlfriend?

27:33 Adam What is the whole lunch? What do you mean she wouldn't switch?

27:35 Drew He wants her to spend more time with him, and she wants her to switch her schedule around so they can have a break together during the day. She wouldn't do that.

27:42 Adam It's school.

27:44 Drew So what I'm asking is-

27:45 Adam You have different lunches?

27:47 Drew Well, I'm asking what's a girlfriend? What is your sense of this relationship? Maybe hers is entirely different.

27:53 Caller Well, you know, we've been together for almost nine months. We are like totally perfect together.

28:00 Drew And you say, gee, we're only seeing each other. We're not going to see anybody else.

28:04 Caller Yeah.

28:04 Drew You've said that to her.

28:08 Adam Here's the sad reality in relationships. Whatever the person's last move and a half was, is your reality.

28:16 Drew Where you're at, yeah.

28:17 Adam She could have told you three days ago, I love you more than life itself. I'd step in front of a bullet to protect you.

28:25 Drew Today she won't change her schedule.

28:26 Adam But if she won't change her schedule to, so your lunches can sync up today, that's the bottom line, and that's today's reality.

28:34 Drew It means something.

28:35 Adam Oh, yes.

28:36 Drew And she's sort of wanting some space, basically. Can't you hear that clinginess?

28:42 Ooh. Yeah.

28:43 Adam Sort of. Frank, I really, I don't want to, I don't want you to do anything stupid. I don't want to bring you down too far, but listen to what she's saying through her actions.

28:52 Caller Right.

28:53 Adam It's not that confusing.

28:54 Caller Right.

28:54 Adam When, unless there's something that you're leaving out.

28:58 Drew Yes.

28:59 Adam That you told her some discussion on religion or something, and she's Buddhist and you're atheist and there's some difficulty or she's going to study in Europe. And there are circumstances once in a while, but I don't think this is it.

29:13 Drew And then bring it up with her. Don't be afraid to, you know, try to clarify things.

29:17 Adam During nutrition, I think they still share that, don't they? Desiree.

29:22 Yeah?

29:23 Adam You're 14. What's going on?

29:26 Caller Well, see, I'm really, really tall for my age.

29:29 Drew You're 14. How tall are you?

29:30 Caller Six three.

29:32 Drew Tell your parents.

29:33 Caller My mom's like five one and my dad's like six feet.

29:38 Drew Wow. Do you have any other unusual characteristics?

29:42 Caller Well, my mom's like all her brothers are like really, really tall.

29:46 Adam Hold on. How old are you? 14. I got a theory. I wonder if there's a quick question here. What city do you live in? San Francisco. San Francisco. That's right. Yeah. I think the Chamberlain retired and they may have been playing the Warriors. Let's see. She was born during the basketball season. What month were you born?

30:12 Caller March.

30:13 Adam March Madness. Yeah.

30:15 Drew She was born then. She was conceived then.

30:18 Adam Oh, she was born then. Oh, yeah. What do we got to go? Nine months? September. I think we're still in the season somewhere. Certainly. At least. Yeah. We're right in the season.

30:28 Drew Wow. Here's something I would say. Have you seen a doctor in recent years?

30:32 Caller Yeah.

30:32 Drew Have you grown suddenly?

30:34 Caller See, it's been like... It started like in the fourth or fifth grade. And I've just been like on this huge growth spurt ever since then.

30:42 Drew And the doctors haven't made any comment about it?

30:44 Caller No, they haven't. I mean, I've asked them, and some said it was normal, and some said that it's a little weird and stuff. So, you know, I don't know what to think.

30:53 Drew They haven't wanted to do any kind of endocrinologic gland work up on you to make sure... I mean, there's something called gigantism or acromegaly, which is a version of that.

31:01 Adam But that's not just being tall. That's being...

31:03 Drew That's having a hormone problem. Well, it's... The pituitary is producing too much of a certain stuff.

31:07 Adam How much do you weigh, Desiree?

31:08 Caller A hundred and seven.

31:11 Drew A hundred and seven?

31:12 Caller Seventy.

31:13 Drew Seventy.

31:13 Adam So you're just a lot of woman. Right?

31:16 Drew Well, it's 6'3, a hundred and seventy is not huge.

31:19 Caller Yeah. I play sports a lot, so...

31:22 Adam No kidding. I'm just surprised you don't play professionally.

31:24 Drew But you don't have extra large hands or jaw or any of that stuff?

31:28 Caller I don't know. I'm not, like, really out of proportion.

31:31 Drew But there's nothing to be out of proportion.

31:32 Caller Yeah, okay.

31:33 Adam So what do you play? Like, um...

31:35 Caller Volleyball and basketball.

31:36 Adam Oh, volleyball and basketball.

31:37 I'm surprised.

31:38 Adam In the ninth grade? Are you getting recruited? What color are you?

31:43 Caller I'm brown.

31:44 Adam Are you brown? Yeah. Like, dad was black and mom was white?

31:48 Caller Nah.

31:50 Adam Both black?

31:51 Caller Well, they're black.

31:51 Adam Oh, they're just white? All right, so we'll give that black. You're athletically inclined?

31:59 Caller Um, yeah.

32:00 Adam Because there's a whole WNBA thing's going through the roof these days.

32:03 Caller Yeah, it is.

32:04 Drew When in six, seven years, it could be...

32:06 Adam Probably be gone, actually.

32:07 Drew No, that's right when it could be really...

32:09 Adam Yeah.

32:10 Drew You know.

32:11 Adam Yeah. All right. Desiree? Go get yourself worked up. But don't get worked up over it. I'm sure you're fine. Okay. You sound happy. You're different, right?

32:22 Yeah.

32:22 Adam That's all right.

32:23 Okay.

32:24 Drew In a good way.

32:25 Yeah.

32:25 Adam There's nothing wrong. Listen, better to be tall than short.

32:29 Caller Wow.

32:31 Adam She'd probably kick the cramp out of both of us. Oh, yeah. 6'3, 170.

32:37 Caller Wow.

32:37 Drew That's huge.

32:39 Adam I hope she doesn't have a brother. Imagine how big he would be.

32:42 Drew We didn't ask the aunt. We didn't ask the siblings.

32:44 Adam Desiree?

32:45 Drew She's gone.

32:46 Adam She's gone. She's barely eating.

32:48 Drew Oh, can you imagine that, Bill? You're feeding a couple kids like that?

32:52 Adam We forget about eating the toilet paper. It's a lot of women. Drew, it starts to add up, believe me.

33:01 Drew I don't have three kids.

33:03 Adam Six, three, and fourteen. I mean, she's got to be six, six before she's done.

33:09 Drew Easily.

33:09 Adam She's got to put another three inches on, another five years, right?

33:12 Caller Easily.

33:15 Adam All right, Drew. Yeah. Let's just sell this next call. We'll go to Bret. Shannon?

33:20 Yes.

33:20 Adam You're 28.

33:21 Caller Yes.

33:22 Adam Gropes hubby in her sleep and doesn't wake up till they're having sex.

33:27 Caller Yes.

33:28 Drew That's the deal?

33:29 Caller Yes.

33:30 Adam Does he have a problem with that?

33:32 Caller Well, he has to get up. He has some really strange hours for work. So it's really, sometimes it's hard on him and it doesn't matter what time I go to bed.

33:43 Drew Is this disturbing or is it intentional?

33:45 Caller Pardon?

33:46 Drew Is it intentional or is it me doing your sleep?

33:48 Caller I do it in my sleep.

33:49 Drew And it's not as though you plan to do it.

33:52 Caller Well, no.

33:53 Drew Does it disturb you?

33:55 Caller Well, it's just kind of, I mean, is that normal or is, I don't know if, you know, having sex in your sleep.

34:04 Adam I'm not selling this cause, it's too boring.

34:05 Drew Well, here's the deal. We have heard this question and unusually, unusually frequently. I mean, I can't believe how many times I've heard this. I've never really read about this or heard of this as a common sleep disturbance. And some people even claim they actually have sex and don't remember it. It is some sort of sleep disorder. You have any other sleep problems?

34:25 Caller Yes.

34:25 Drew What else?

34:26 Caller I've had night terrors before. Yeah.

34:30 Drew And so do you ever walk in your sleep, that sort of thing too?

34:31 Caller Oh yeah.

34:32 Drew Yeah. So it's part of a sleep disturbance.

34:34 Adam Maybe we're getting into something here.

34:36 Drew Yeah.

34:37 Adam Shannon.

34:38 Caller Yeah.

34:38 Adam Did anyone do anything traumatic to you when you were a child?

34:42 Caller Not to me traumatic. In my life, something happened traumatic.

34:47 Adam All right. That's good. Hold on. We'll go to break. Is it good trauma?

34:52 Caller Oh, a death of a family member. Not any, not anything major.

34:57 Adam Huh. Well, why do you have, why does she have the night terrors then?

35:01 Caller It was because of that.

35:02 Drew What?

35:03 Caller Because of my father dying.

35:05 Adam How old were you?

35:06 Drew Wait a minute. How could you say your father dying young was not major? That's major major.

35:10 Caller Well, I mean, it was major, but it wasn't like any sexual abuse.

35:15 Drew Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I understand. You said it was a death of a family member and you said that wasn't major. That's it. That's as major as it gets.

35:20 Caller Well, yeah, that's pretty major. And there's a few other things, but I mean, in my childhood, that was kind of traumatic.

35:29 Adam Like what?

35:31 Caller Oh, my grandmother killed herself. Shot herself in the head.

35:35 Drew Were you around for that?

35:36 Caller I was. I believe we lived next door.

35:40 Drew Shannon, this is plenty of reason to have disturbed sleep, I would say.

35:44 Adam What did your grandma do? Screw up a stitch, no knitting or something? How do you? Why is it? I've never heard of a grandma killing herself. They do that, Drew?

35:54 Drew Not with a gun.

35:55 Adam She shot herself?

35:56 Caller Yeah.

35:57 Drew That's pretty wild. I've heard of older folks.

35:59 Adam Where was grandpa?

36:01 Caller I'm not sure where he was.

36:02 Caller I was pretty young.

36:03 Adam Hold on a second. There's trouble.

36:05 Drew All over the place.

36:06 Adam Yeah. There you go. See night terrors? No, nothing. Well, wait a minute.

36:13 Drew Wait a minute. Dad died?

36:14 Adam Grandma killed herself? And then dad wrestled the gun away and killed himself. I mean, there's something going on here.

36:21 Drew Yeah.

36:23 Adam All right. But Drew, just getting horny when you're sleeping or sleep and getting it on with whoever's next to you is not that weird.

36:31 Drew It's unusual, but it doesn't mean that.

36:33 Adam Hasn't it? You've done that though. Everyone's done that. You're sleeping. You're having a dream. You wake up. All of a sudden, you just get into it in the middle of the night.

36:39 Drew Anything traumatic ever happened to you when you were growing up?

36:41 Adam My grandmother tried to kill me, which is just a slight variation on the last story. Okay. We'll get back. We'll figure out Shannon's sordid life.

36:53 Caller You have five seconds.

37:06 It's not hard to swallow. It's Love Line.

37:25 Adam Hey, it's a Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. This is Dr. Drew. We just got back from Las Vegas. Drew was just telling me how one of his sons, what is he, six? Five, six, yeah. He won a giant crab.

37:38 Drew Yeah, lobster.

37:39 Adam Lobster? Yeah, he'll get the crabs later. Won a giant, when he was in boarding school. Thank you. He won a giant lobster at Circus Circus through some sort of dexterity game. And they wouldn't let him play again.

37:54 Drew Has it? Like, he was dismissed.

37:57 Adam Because they were scared he would win again?

37:59 Yeah.

38:00 Adam He's five. I know.

38:02 Drew I scared him.

38:04 Adam Michael Jordan couldn't get five for five in the game you were describing, right?

38:07 Drew That's correct. It was, like, extraordinary. They gave him the biggest thing on the rack and said, go away. That's it. You're done.

38:14 Adam So they're saying, like, a five and a half year old could close him down if he got on a roll?

38:19 Drew I guess so.

38:20 Adam Oh, please. Drew, you're just making... That's just proud poppet.

38:23 Drew No, no, no. Because Jordan wanted the... Not one, two, and I couldn't sit down to get it. I had to sit Jordan down to try to do it, and he couldn't get it.

38:29 Adam Oh, my God. I don't let... Does it count cards, too? I'll take them with me next time I go to Vegas. Be like Rain Man, except for I'll be the stupid one.

38:38 Drew You know that thing where they roll the ball and it has to get in the hole up and towards the craft?

38:42 Adam Yeah, they have those two sticks that they open and close.

38:45 Drew No, no, no. They just roll a ball and it's sort of like a game, a board game where it slips in the hole and a horse or something moves along, depending on what hole they get it in, wins it every time.

38:57 Adam My childhood was not lined with that kind of activity. My dad and I had a game called Empty the Goddamn Spatoo. Your fat ass is blocking the set. That was the other one we used to play.

39:10 Drew Was that his game or yours?

39:11 Adam Well, we both participated. We both had our different roles in it. Shannon.

39:16 Drew Shannon, we've been talking about her sleep.

39:17 Adam Oh, that's right. She has a sleep tear. She also has sex in her sleep. If we could get her to do the word processing, that'd be it. She'd never have to leave the house. She's getting the sex. She's having the tears. And she's making a few...

39:29 Drew We also discovered that you've got a few sort of submerged things going on.

39:33 Adam Grandmother killed herself.

39:34 Drew The next story killed herself.

39:35 Adam How did dad die? And I'm guessing...

39:38 Drew A violent death.

39:39 Adam Yeah, like motorcycle without a helmet, something involving booze perhaps?

39:45 Caller No.

39:45 Adam What happened?

39:46 Caller He was working in the summertime. He was a school teacher. So in the summertime he was working for my grandfather.

39:55 Drew And?

39:56 Caller And a cat tractor rolled over on him. And it broke his neck and he had cardiac arrest while they were going to the hospital.

40:06 Adam I know. I feel like an a-hole. Is it your grandfather was a contractor?

40:12 Caller He ran a backhoe when he was younger and he had ran it for, well, he's 80 some years old now. He worked for probably ran a backhoe for, I'd say a good five years.

40:29 Adam Can you just go along with he was a contractor?

40:33 Caller Sure, whatever Adam.

40:34 Adam That's good enough, right?

40:36 Caller Yeah.

40:37 Adam Okay. So, all right, so all very tragic and your grandmother killed herself with a gun.

40:43 Drew You said there are a few other things too we haven't gotten into yet. So there's enough there to sort of leave you sort of rumbling around with stuff that could easily disturb your sleep, that's for sure. And you've had a long history of sleep disturbances and this is just part of that. So it's nothing you should be concerned about. If you want to have a formal sleep evaluation and people can do that, there's sleep centers at both hospitals now and I suspect they would tell you that it's of a psychological or psychiatric origin and they would refer you accordingly if you want to do something about it.

41:11 Adam I got to do that too. I have horrible sleep patterns but I want them to come to my house. Can they do that?

41:17 Drew No.

41:18 Adam What do they do in their sleeping evaluations? Because I swear to God I'm horrible with sleep.

41:24 Drew They hook you up, monitor you, monitor your auction saturation. You probably would never sleep in one of these places. You just wouldn't sleep all night.

41:30 Adam No, I wouldn't sleep. I don't sleep at home, for Christ's sake. How am I going to sleep at the hospital? I think what I have is hereditary. My dad sleeps that way, like a pirate with one eye open. My dad growing up, if you walked by his door at 4.30 in the morning and said, Jim, yeah, that's how he sleeps.

41:55 Drew But I do that, too, and I sleep very heavily. I have selective stuff. I know when I'm called upon.

42:00 Adam Drew, I don't, no matter how tired I am or how strung out I am, I don't just go to sleep.

42:05 Drew I know.

42:05 Adam Ever. I got to roll around and think. See, that's the difference. You don't think. That's what it is. You know what the difference is? You know what it is?

42:12 Drew I go to sleep.

42:12 Adam Here's what it is.

42:13 Drew That's the difference.

42:13 Adam No. Here's the difference between us. I found it out. It's flattering toward me. That's why I discovered it.

42:19 Caller Imagine that.

42:20 Adam All you're learning, you just read a book. You just store that knowledge. You're like a knowledge collector. You just go out there. Your mind's like a big rake. You walk around all day like those guys at the park with the stick with the nail on the end of it, and you stab wrappers and drop it into that big mine bucket of yours.

42:37 Drew You bet. Yeah.

42:38 Adam Okay. My mind doesn't read anything or do anything. I like a crate from within. So I lie there in bed at night, and my mind just spins and spins and spins. You know when a car runs even after you shut the ignition off? That's what my mind does at night. You just lie there. There's nothing to take in. It's all right. You just stare at the clock. You fall right asleep.

43:01 Drew I don't even see the clock.

43:02 Adam You don't even see that. I mean, there's nothing coming in. Yeah. All right. Am I right?

43:05 Drew Yeah, but you're just because, Woody, your thoughts are all about the handcuffs and Swedish stewardesses.

43:10 Adam No, no, no, no. I'm a big thinker. Amy.

43:13 Drew We can tell.

43:14 Caller Yes.

43:14 Adam You're 33.

43:15 Caller I am. And just one comment about Shannon. I used to grab my husband in my sleep. And then when he'd wake up and ready to have sex, I didn't want to ever have sex with him. But now I'm divorced. But that's not why I called. I am called to say the chick that was like in the shower that has her orgasms in the shower with her boyfriend. She said she was going out with him just a little less than a year. Did they just start having sex or did she put out on the first nine? Because she seems to be enjoying all this stuff like way too fast. That I just kind of thought. So my question is, you've already lost me. What? The chick that was in the shower with her?

43:48 Drew Yeah, I can't clearly remember the call, to be honest with you. But what is it that's too fast? I didn't get that part.

43:54 Caller OK, she said they were going out with just a little less than a year.

43:57 Drew Yeah.

43:57 Caller And she said she can't have an orgasm when they're having sex.

44:01 Drew And she was what, 19 or something? 20. Just 20. And you don't think...

44:04 Caller What I want to know is if they just... I was curious to see if she had sex just like... Have they only been having sex for like a month or did she put out like, you know, a little less than a year ago?

44:13 Drew You know what? I think CNN and I think It's Time is about to put out a big article, a big survey on how long people date before they have sex and that kind of thing. And it's a pretty, on average, a pretty short period of time.

44:24 Caller God, I know...

44:25 Drew Like a couple, like three or four dates.

44:28 Caller She was just loving the whole thing, you know? The whole oral sex thing. So what I want to know is can you lose your virginity to another woman? I think she was a lesbian first.

44:36 Drew Why?

44:37 Adam Hold on a second.

44:38 Caller It's an oral sex.

44:39 Adam Oh, let me talk to Amy. Amy.

44:40 Caller I'm ready.

44:41 Adam What kind of...

44:42 Caller Not a lesbian.

44:43 Adam Settle down now, baby. You got kids in that house of yours?

44:46 Caller No, just two cats.

44:48 Adam Even they should be removed.

44:50 Caller What?

44:50 Adam Send them to a nice foster family.

44:53 Caller They love me.

44:54 Adam Those cats could be raised by hyenas. They'd probably be better off.

44:58 Caller Doesn't that make...

45:00 Adam What's going on with you, Amy?

45:02 Do you work?

45:03 Caller No, no.

45:04 Adam Anyone do anything weird to you?

45:06 Caller No, no, not at all.

45:08 Adam You're religious?

45:10 Caller Somewhat.

45:10 Adam When did you lose your virginity?

45:12 Caller When I was 21.

45:14 Adam 21?

45:15 Caller Uh-huh. I didn't brag about it like for a whole year. She seemed like she just loved me too fast, so I'm just thinking like maybe there was no involve for her.

45:23 Adam What about before 21?

45:25 Caller What?

45:25 Adam A little something from then?

45:26 Caller Oh my gosh. No, I went out with the same guy for like three years.

45:29 Adam Your uncle?

45:31 Caller Yeah, I am from Montana. No, I went out with her for three years, and I mean we get really close, like almost doing it, and then I just say, no, and then we wouldn't do it.

45:40 Adam Eating disorder?

45:41 Caller No.

45:43 Adam Ballet lessons?

45:44 Caller No.

45:45 Caller Just a Catholic girl, Irish Catholic.

45:48 Caller Where's your dad?

45:50 Caller My dad died last year.

45:52 Adam He was a good man before that?

45:53 Caller He was. He's still the greatest man. Still.

45:55 Adam Really?

45:56 Caller Yes. He's the best.

45:57 Well, okay.

45:59 Adam All right.

46:00 Caller But, I mean, I was just curious.

46:02 Adam Why did your marriage break up?

46:04 Caller He said he wasn't the Marion type. He asked for a divorce on my birthday.

46:08 Drew He wasn't the Marion type? How long was he married to you?

46:10 Caller We went out for two years, and we were married for three.

46:14 Adam He wasn't the Marion type?

46:15 Caller That's what he said.

46:16 Drew Not to Amy, anyway.

46:17 Caller No, he honestly, he said that. And so- Is he married now? I don't know, to be very honest. And I've been divorced for five years, so I don't know.

46:25 Adam All right.

46:26 Caller You think he's married now?

46:27 Adam Are you doing any dating, Amy?

46:29 Caller Well, if you head on down to Reno, I'm just kidding. No, I'm, I'm him. Kind of seen a couple of people.

46:34 Caller You are?

46:35 Adam Really? Two guys, huh?

46:37 Drew You're taking medications, Amy?

46:39 Caller Am I?

46:39 Caller Yeah.

46:40 Caller No.

46:40 Caller Okay.

46:41 Caller I'm just watching TV. I just thought that was weird that she just said, oh yeah, about 15 minutes. It just seemed like she just enjoys it too much just to start having sex. You know what I'm saying? I hated it.

46:51 If she- What?

46:52 Caller I hated it at first.

46:53 Caller When the first time I'm like, the first time I'm at sex, I hated it.

46:56 Yeah, I see.

46:57 Adam Did you go to camp when you were younger?

46:59 Caller No, I didn't go to camp.

47:00 Adam You didn't go to camp?

47:01 Caller Don't give me a hard time. I was just making a comment. Can you lose your virginity to another woman?

47:05 Drew Well, okay, let me make two points.

47:07 Adam How many kindness do you have, Drew? Just one?

47:09 Drew Well, no, but first of all, if that caller had been 16 or 17 and not 20, we would have been a little tally a little differently. She's an adult and she's in a stable relationship. What the hell? Amy, virginity is a very strange concept. It really had an economic sort of meaning to it for many throughout human history, really. It was a way of sort of establishing how families passed along dowries and things like that.

47:33 Adam Well, not just look as recently as Princess Di.

47:36 Yeah.

47:37 Adam You know what I mean? I mean, Charles needed to marry a virgin, right?

47:40 Why?

47:41 Drew Who knows? But and people have done, we hear all the time, people going to very strange lengths, behaviors in order to protect their virginity. They're having anal sex before, they're having oral sex routinely, though it's not sex. And the fact is that's sex. I mean, you have a theory about planes.

47:59 Adam If I got hooked up with a woman who was just performing oral sex to maintain her virginity, I wouldn't know it until four years in the relationship. I probably wouldn't ask. I'd be too scared to ask. I have too much anal and oral sex. I'm not going to say anything. Who's going to rock the boat at that point?

48:12 Drew There should be a plane that have certain different planes, right, that are broken.

48:17 Adam Right. All right, Drew, I don't want to get into that. We got to go to break.

48:21 Drew All right, let's go to break.

48:22 Adam I'll discuss the broken plane theory when we come back.

48:28 Caller Love Line, be right back in a minute.

48:31 Caller W-E-B-N W-E-B-N...turns animal for the erotic pleasures of women.

48:42 It's Love Line.

48:43 Drew Alright.

48:52 Adam Hey, kiddies, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew. And as per usual, this time of the show, we're going to take a quick sit.

49:01 Drew Ten second break.

49:01 Adam Thank you. We'll be right back.

49:03 This is Loveline on Radio Station.

49:07 We're the G-spot on your radio dial.

49:10 Caller Oh, you're right there.

49:12 Caller This is Loveline on 1027 WEBN, Cincinnati.

49:18 Adam It is Loveline, Drew. What's the hand gesture mean?

49:21 Drew That there was a call that had been left on hold for quite a while, even though we'd spoken to her quite a while ago. Oh, I see. But you were going to talk about the plane theory. And we're not talking about airplanes or plain white bread.

49:32 Adam We're talking about, all right, let's use the NFL as an example. And as per usual, I gave this no thought during the break. Jesus Christ.

49:41 Drew Well, the plane of the end zone.

49:43 Adam That's what I want to, you know, here's how you score a touchdown in the NFL. You break the plane, what they call the plane of the goal line.

49:52 Drew It's a two-dimensional construct.

49:55 Adam It's like an imaginary wall that you have to crack. It's sort of like a security laser beam that you would trip.

50:02 Drew Like a Star Trek or something.

50:04 Adam When you walk into a liquor store, that little bell that goes off. Okay, that is the plane. That plane, to me, exists on a woman. It exists at the opening of the vagina, or vagina, as our listeners like to call it.

50:18 Drew The Englishman.

50:20 Adam It opened.

50:20 Drew Do they say that, I wonder?

50:21 Adam Vagina? That would be a good question. I'm going to have to get Clive Barker in here to ask him to pronounce vagina. I think I may have asked him that, actually. There's a plane that is at the opening of the anus. There is one in the nostril, one in the ear, one in the hand between the thumb and the forefinger.

50:40 Drew Made like the OK sign?

50:41 Adam Yeah. When you make the OK sign, you make that loop, that is a plane that you pierce.

50:44 Drew The other fingers need to come around?

50:46 Adam Hard to tell. I haven't worked that out.

50:47 Drew Not necessarily.

50:48 Adam I haven't worked that out.

50:50 Drew I suppose each finger could create a plane.

50:52 Adam For every orifice, there's a plane. When that plane is broken, then the virginity is lost. Not the hand plane, maybe the ear plane. Certainly the anus, crotch.

51:05 Drew Mouth.

51:06 Adam And I'm going with mouth plane too.

51:09 Drew That's sex.

51:10 Adam That's sex.

51:11 Drew And that's not virginity anymore.

51:12 Adam And that's what we're talking about.

51:13 Drew Because virginity really was, I mean, is thought of as chastity.

51:17 Adam How many Romans do you figure the Virgin Mary blue?

51:20 Caller That's right.

51:22 Adam Do you know what I'm saying? Is that what they were talking about? Is there a part in the Bible where they went, why do I'm confused because she's pregnant? All she did was blow all those guys all the time. No, she was the Virgin Mary. She didn't do anything.

51:38 Drew Right.

51:39 Adam That's the deal.

51:39 Drew That's virginity. It's chastity. Maybe we just get rid of the term virginity and call it chastity.

51:42 Adam That's it. Right. But I mean, that's what virgin snow is. It's snow that's not been tread on. You don't have to cramp on it. You don't have to be it. It's just stuff that hasn't been touched. It hasn't been touched.

51:53 Drew Right.

51:54 Adam Touch, sodomized is touch it. Oh, yes. That is touch it.

52:00 Drew Good thing we have a vacation here, isn't it?

52:02 Adam Yeah.

52:02 Caller That's nice.

52:03 Adam Okay. Let's isolate that Virgin Mary line for the next Best Of. That's good radio there. Chris.

52:11 Caller Yes.

52:12 Adam You're 25.

52:13 Caller Yes, I am.

52:13 Adam What's going on with you?

52:15 Caller Well, I had a short comment and a question. Yeah. Okay. First comment. I want to say basically that I consider you guys the yin and yang of sexual advice. All right. And here's my question. I was in a monogamous relationship for several years in and out.

52:30 Drew In and out.

52:31 Caller Well, yeah. Okay. Basically, let me explain. Okay. What happened was for several years.

52:35 Drew Did you have people try to slip that stuff across? I was monogamous.

52:38 Adam For many years.

52:39 Drew Yeah, but not continuously. Okay.

52:41 Caller Well, I was unfaithful at one point, but then monogamous after that for several years, probably five to six.

52:46 Drew Okay. Well, you just add about a factor of five to that and that's your payback.

52:51 Caller Yeah, I know.

52:51 Drew Right.

52:52 Caller But this is the question at hand.

52:54 Am I right, Adam?

52:55 Adam You mean in terms of what she did. Oh, did she pay you back?

52:59 Caller Well, that's maybe your answer could tell me that. The question maybe could be directed to Drew because of his medical knowledge. Okay, at one point when we separated, the person I was in the relationship with had informed me she had cervical cancer. And shortly after that, a few months later, I came down with HPV.

53:22 Drew I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I had a brief lapse. Was it the girlfriend you were in the relationship with all this time?

53:26 Caller Yes.

53:27 Drew Okay.

53:27 Caller The long-term relationship.

53:28 Drew Got it.

53:29 Caller And shortly after her informing me she had cervical cancer, I came down with HPV, H.p.loma virus.

53:35 Drew Yeah.

53:35 Caller Okay, what I want to know is the doctor that supposedly diagnosed me with HPV told me that the relation between cervical cancer could cause me to obtain that virus.

53:46 Drew Yes.

53:46 Caller Is that true?

53:47 Drew Well, it's an interesting question, okay, that certainly people with HPV, certain strains of HPV, are at higher risk of cervical cancer. The question you're asking, though, is, gee, if somebody has cervical cancer, do they always have HPV? And the answer to that is no, but I would bet the answer would be they usually do.

54:08 Caller Okay, well, then to make it more specific, the time prior to finding out I had HPV, that's warts, warts, genital warts, yeah, HPV. Yeah, exactly, genital warts. The time prior to that, the last time I had unprotected sex with another individual was over four years. Is there a dormancy period with that virus?

54:25 Drew Yes, there can be.

54:26 Caller Okay, and what is the extent of that dormancy period?

54:28 Drew It can be indefinite.

54:30 Caller Indefinite.

54:31 Drew Yeah, so, her cervical cancer, though, occurred before you developed a relationship with her, is that right?

54:36 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, during our relationship, the cervical cancer was diagnosed, she was sick over a period of almost two years before we realized what was going on.

54:44 Drew Sick with what?

54:45 Caller Just sick in general, I mean, they couldn't tell her what was wrong, she came down.

54:48 Adam Cervical cancer.

54:49 Drew Cervical, mm, she probably didn't, she had like a abnormal, very abnormal pap smear, right? They take her uterus out and radiate her and give her, you know, is that what they did?

54:59 Caller Well, she was in another area at the time, but she, you know, she let me know that they did a surgery and they removed part of, they supposedly removed the cancer and whatnot.

55:07 Drew Okay, that's not cancer. That's very, very, very localized stuff. That's like near cancer kind of thing. Okay, but it is highly associated with the papilloma virus. You may have been the one that gave it to her. It's hard to know who got it first.

55:18 Adam Oh, what a tangled web. And is this Kennedy?

55:22 Drew Yeah.

55:24 Adam Hey, Kennedy.

55:25 Drew Hello, boys. Hey, where are you?

55:28 Caller I'm driving to Portland.

55:29 Drew Oh my God. Oh my God.

55:32 Caller No, not from Los Angeles, from Seattle. It's not that bad.

55:35 Adam What's going on, sweet pea?

55:37 Caller Well, two things. First of all, it is the eve of the blessed Virgin Mary's birthday.

55:42 Drew Thank you, Adam.

55:43 Caller I'd like to know that in case you want to do some math tomorrow.

55:45 Drew Yeah. What a coincidence that Adam should speak so disparagingly of her.

55:50 Adam How do you know what day she was born?

55:52 Caller What's that?

55:53 Drew There's a holiday.

55:54 Adam What day is that?

55:56 Caller September 8th.

55:57 Adam Really?

55:58 Caller Yeah.

55:58 Adam Wow. Small world. Yeah.

56:03 Caller As far as virginity, I think virginity is when you cross the vaginal plane.

56:08 Adam Yeah.

56:08 Caller You're no longer a virgin, but you can still maintain virginity. You're not chaste, so you're still a virgin, even though you've had mouth and booty left.

56:15 Adam Right. There's a little bit of an agenda here with Kennedy. Kennedy, you are a virgin, right?

56:23 Caller Oh, not so fast, young man.

56:25 Caller Oh, uh-oh.

56:27 Drew Who's bringing her step?

56:28 Adam I knew she looked a little different. She wanted to nap the last time she came over to my house. That was a come on. I didn't even know it.

56:33 Caller I didn't ask you to cuddle.

56:37 Adam Kennedy, I didn't even bother asking. Kennedy was a virgin for so long.

56:41 Caller You haven't asked me for that for like two years.

56:42 Adam I know. All right. Well, congratulations.

56:45 Caller Thank you very much.

56:46 Drew That's great.

56:47 Caller This really wasn't meant to be a coming out phone call.

56:49 Adam I know.

56:49 Drew But you're-

56:50 Caller God bless America.

56:51 Drew Was it, I mean, why is it different than when you were maintaining it with the other planes? You know what I'm saying? Why weren't those sex?

57:01 Caller Because it's just not as emotional. There's just not as much of a physical and emotional connection.

57:07 Drew I mean, you know, do you think that I can, and I don't necessarily disagree with you, but do you think it's because you let go emotionally or because there really is something mechanically, physically, biologically different?

57:19 Caller I think it's both. I think there's much more of a spiritual connection when you cross the big plane.

57:24 Adam Hey, Kennedy.

57:26 Caller And I think most women would agree, like a lot of Catholic girls don't want to give it up, but they'll do other things before.

57:33 Drew I think that's something in their head, in their brain that's not necessarily, it's something they compartmentalize.

57:39 Caller I don't think so, because I think sex is so much more, I know it sounds like a cliche, but it's so much more emotional for women.

57:46 Drew Absolutely. And there is a theory that genital sex, per se, is a different experience, symbolically.

57:52 Caller I think there's a lot different, there are many more biological factors going on.

57:57 Drew You're right.

57:58 Adam Doesn't it release the hydrocortisones in women?

58:01 Well, the, what is that theory?

58:03 Drew Right, the oxytocin and all the body stuff.

58:05 Adam Hey, hey Kennedy.

58:06 Caller Yeah.

58:06 Adam Be honest.

58:07 Okay.

58:08 Adam The sex, the first time, after all these years, a little bit of a disappointment, right?

58:14 Caller No.

58:15 Adam No?

58:16 Caller No.

58:16 Adam You really, you were into it?

58:18 Caller Yeah.

58:19 Adam Wow.

58:19 Drew Yeah, but she had the other plans gone, see?

58:21 Adam Yeah, I know she'd been working the other, the oral card pretty good for a number of years.

58:26 Caller Easy. Come on.

58:28 Adam I'm just saying, listen, you're the most virtuous, most intelligent woman, a woman I know, believe me. But it was not disappointing. After all the years of anticipation and build up to the actual sexual encounter, it was everything you thought it would be.

58:45 Caller Well, there was no emotional letdown.

58:48 Drew Herein lies again the difference between men and women, right? To Adam, it's a letdown every time.

58:54 Caller But I've never talked to anyone who said, God, I wish I had sex sooner.

58:58 Caller I wish I had done it when I was 14.

59:02 Drew We occasionally get somebody said they waited till it was about right, and those people usually are between 18 and 20. And to a person, if it's before 18, they all regret it. Women, the women, the men, they regret it haven't taken so long.

59:15 Adam All right, so it's the Virgin Mary's birthday tomorrow?

59:17 Caller Yeah, in an hour.

59:18 Adam I got to get her something.

59:20 Drew Ask Kennedy, what do you get?

59:21 Adam What do you get the Virgin Mary? Some Benoit balls or something?

59:25 Caller She has so many things and wants so little, so I really don't think much more than a card is appropriate.

59:30 Adam I'm going to get her like a swaddling dress. Do they have that?

59:35 Drew Don't get her a card, though. I learned this weekend from Adam Kennedy that you guys aren't allowed to give cards to each other, because that's gay.

59:41 Adam It was Drew's birthday last week, and I tried to call it with you. Happy birthday.

59:46 Drew Oh, thank you.

59:46 Adam We had a lovely gathering in Las Vegas, and I bought Drew some nice gifts.

59:51 Drew Really nice, by the way.

59:52 Adam Oh, really?

59:53 Drew Yeah, I was grateful for all that, because that's going to help us coming up here.

59:56 Adam I didn't ramp it. I just left it in the bag. And Drew wanted to know where the card was. And I said, that's a little gay. There's a little gay for guys to be passing the cards back and forth.

1:00:05 Caller It's not gay. It's not gay.

1:00:06 Adam A couple of teenagers in love.

1:00:07 Caller It's a nice gesture. We had a guest come and stay with us, a nice kid, and he wrote us a card, a thank you card. We thought that was very nice.

1:00:16 Adam But yeah, but you're a woman, and that's all right.

1:00:18 Drew It's a guy-to-guy thing, is it?

1:00:19 Adam Guy-to-guy with the cards.

1:00:21 Drew I will tell you for sure that every, almost every card I got was written by the wife.

1:00:25 Adam Oh, yes. Guys don't even want to get near that. Hey, Kennedy, when are you going to be in town next?

1:00:31 Caller On the 9th.

1:00:34 Adam Of?

1:00:35 Drew September?

1:00:35 Caller September, yeah.

1:00:36 Adam Oh, really? Oh, when is that day? Oh, you're going to go to the MTV Awards or something?

1:00:40 Caller No, I'm actually going to give a speech at Loyola in Rancho Palos Verdes that night.

1:00:45 Drew Fantastic. Why don't you visit us?

1:00:48 Caller I'll come visit you.

1:00:49 Adam Yeah. Come on.

1:00:51 Caller I'll come on down. I'll tell you that much. I have a lot more to talk about in person.

1:00:55 Adam Yeah. I'm kidding. All right. We're going to let you go, Kenny.

1:00:58 Caller Okay.

1:00:59 Adam Say hi to Dave. Take care. Bye-bye. Didn't realize it. The Virgin Kennedy.

1:01:03 Drew I kind of noticed a change about nine months ago. So you check that out.

1:01:06 Adam Really? Started getting bitter and cynical.

1:01:09 Drew When she didn't want to leave Seattle.

1:01:13 Adam Very interesting. You know, people think I'm an a-hole, my pry and all that stuff. But the reality is, is I don't really care what anyone does. And I rarely ask them any questions about their personal life when I'm off the air. Wouldn't you say it's true, Drew?

1:01:26 Drew Yeah, you like to talk about your own stuff.

1:01:28 Adam I like to talk about myself.

1:01:29 Drew Yeah.

1:01:29 Adam Yeah. I like to talk about my house.

1:01:30 Drew Yeah. I've tried to talk to you a few times. It just doesn't go through.

1:01:33 Adam Yeah. But you know, to be fair about me, I don't just talk about myself. I like to pick an object like a car or something and talk about it.

1:01:42 Drew Yeah. Cars we can connect on. But the house thing, I just shut off myself. So.

1:01:45 Adam All right. Sarah.

1:01:47 Drew Sarah?

1:01:48 Caller Yeah.

1:01:49 Adam You're 20.

1:01:50 Caller Yeah.

1:01:51 Adam She and her boyfriend are engaged, only had sex with each other. Is this a problem?

1:01:57 Caller Well, actually, we're talking about getting engaged. And we're high school sweethearts. We've been dating since we were freshmen. I've had sex with other people before.

1:02:07 Drew Right.

1:02:08 Caller And he hasn't. And I'm just wondering if.

1:02:10 Adam Oh, Drew's going for the wallet. Why are you going for the wallet, Drew?

1:02:14 Drew Just listen to her.

1:02:16 Adam Hey, you get the little girl voice?

1:02:18 Drew Just a little hostility there and then.

1:02:20 Adam Hey, Sarah?

1:02:21 Caller Yeah.

1:02:21 Drew I don't know what he wants.

1:02:23 Caller Hmm.

1:02:23 Adam Do you know, do you know the theme song to Family Affair?

1:02:27 Caller To what?

1:02:27 Adam No, actually, that was all musical. Do do do do do do. How about, sing me a little bit of the Brady Bunch. Brady Bunch? Yeah. I want to examine your voice. Go ahead. Ready?

1:02:39 Caller Here's a story.

1:02:41 No, go.

1:02:42 Adam Go ahead. Here we go.

1:02:45 Here's a story.

1:02:47 Caller A man named Brady, who was, I don't know it.

1:02:51 Adam Yeah. It's a lovely lady, I think it starts with.

1:02:53 Caller Yeah, okay. All right.

1:02:54 Adam So, Drew, you want to gamble on her?

1:02:57 Drew No, let's just.

1:02:57 Adam I'm not getting a big vibe off of her.

1:03:01 Drew Right. But I have a specific one.

1:03:03 Adam All right, go ahead. Just take a stab.

1:03:05 Drew Did you have any disorder when you were younger?

1:03:07 Did I have any what?

1:03:08 Drew Any eating food problems?

1:03:09 No.

1:03:10 Drew No?

1:03:11 Caller Okay.

1:03:11 Adam You weren't hooked on jerky or anything like that?

1:03:14 Drew No. And you said you had sex with other people. How old were you when you started having sex?

1:03:18 Caller Fourteen.

1:03:20 Adam How many guys?

1:03:23 Four.

1:03:24 Drew The first guy, was he a lot older?

1:03:26 Yeah.

1:03:26 Drew How much older?

1:03:27 Caller He was 19.

1:03:30 Adam Something there.

1:03:31 Drew That typical thing. Did your parents get divorced around that age?

1:03:35 Caller I'm sorry?

1:03:35 Drew Were your parents divorced?

1:03:36 Caller Yeah, they divorced when I was two.

1:03:38 Drew When you were two. And the stepfathers or anything like that, any problems with them? No.

1:03:42 Adam No. No sexual abuse, nothing like that?

1:03:46 Caller No.

1:03:46 Adam Nothing we need to know about?

1:03:48 Drew No. I'm not getting that per se.

1:03:51 Adam All right.

1:03:51 Drew That's not where I was going to go with it.

1:03:52 Adam So the guy you're with now, he's 20.

1:03:54 Caller He's 18. Or 19, I'm sorry.

1:03:56 Drew And you're 20?

1:03:57 Caller I'm 20.

1:03:57 Drew And he's never been with anybody else except you?

1:03:59 Caller No. Right.

1:04:00 Adam And he's aware that you've been with other people?

1:04:02 Caller Yeah.

1:04:02 Adam And you think that he's going to want to experience other people?

1:04:07 Caller I'm just afraid that it once starts getting more serious where we're talking about actually getting married and that he's just, I mean...

1:04:15 Drew What's the hurry?

1:04:16 Caller You know, they just, with one person, you know, they're not going to want to experience with...

1:04:21 Drew What's the hurry with the marriage thing?

1:04:23 Caller Oh, it's not. I mean, we're just talking.

1:04:26 Drew Yeah.

1:04:28 Adam All right. Don't worry about it then. Don't get married.

1:04:31 Drew Yeah. That'll be the way to solve this problem.

1:04:33 Adam Yeah. It's easy. He's 19. You're 20. Give it a few years.

1:04:38 Drew Your concerns about the survivability of this relationship are justified. And part of the reason young relationships don't survive is the fact that guys need to sometimes experience who they are with other people. Let that happen. Both of you grow up a little bit. Don't get married yet.

1:04:52 Adam And here's an observation. And because, see, people feel like they need to take a step. They've been together since they're 14 or 15. They're 20 now. They're going to stagnate. They got to take a step. But here's where you take a step at 19, 20. All right. Hold on, jackass. That's not my point at all. Step back, please. Here's the step you take when you're 18, 19, 20, and you've been in a relationship for five years. You go to college, you jackass. That's what you do. You do better in your job. You take a financial step. You take a step toward education. You take a step toward your career.

1:05:29 Drew Well, guys do that. I would. Women can do it, too. Women should.

1:05:32 Adam No, I'm just saying this is the move you should be making. You think things are stagnating, don't dump all your eggs into the relationship basket. What people do, and here's the big problem, is they're 19 or 20, they're like this couple, they've been together for five years, they think it's getting a little routine.

1:05:51 Drew What are we going to do next?

1:05:52 Adam Let's shake it up. Let's get married or let's have a kid. Now, they're just watching as much TV as they ever did, and they're sitting home and they're staring at each other, wanting to kill each other, and there's a kid crying in the background, and meanwhile, there's no money to be had. Go ahead and take the next step, but leave the relationship out of it. You can both take your own next steps.

1:06:12 Drew I agree.

1:06:13 Adam That's good, right?

1:06:13 Drew I agree, and you've always made the point, too, that going to work is okay, too, right?

1:06:18 Adam Whatever it is, career-wise, just move forward with it. That's what you should be doing when you're 19 or 20 years old. You should dedicate the next five, six years to really moving things along, and then when you get into your later 20s, you get married, you have some kids. You get divorced when you're 30. Yeah. You start banging a secretary if you've moved your career along enough. You still work in the mailroom, you're not gonna get the secretary's panties off, right, Drew? Done.

1:06:44 Caller Yeah.

1:06:45 Adam You're 18.

1:06:46 Caller Yeah.

1:06:46 Adam What's going on?

1:06:48 Caller Well, this probably sounds a little weird, but anytime I smoke a cigarette, I get an erection.

1:06:55 Caller Yeah.

1:06:55 Adam Have you seen that commercial they run where the good-looking chick walks into the soiree and the guys are smoking the cigarettes and the cigarettes go limp? Have you seen that?

1:07:06 Drew No.

1:07:07 Caller I haven't.

1:07:08 Adam They haven't.

1:07:08 Drew Well, that's what the stimulants should do to malfunction. So I'm a little confused by why that happens to you, but, you know, it happens. Are these normal cigarettes?

1:07:19 Caller Yeah, Marlboro's, anything. Well, I want your opinion on it.

1:07:23 Adam Well, wait a minute. How often do you smoke?

1:07:26 Caller Well, not very. Well, yeah. The thing is...

1:07:29 Adam You couldn't smoke two packs a day with that problem. You never make it through work.

1:07:34 Caller No. No, I'd never make it through work.

1:07:36 Adam Are you gay, Don?

1:07:37 Caller I am not.

1:07:38 Drew Why did you ask that question?

1:07:39 Adam It's got a little of that vibe, talking about the movie.

1:07:41 Drew What's your question, Don?

1:07:43 Caller Okay, Drew, I want your opinion. Are you familiar with classic conditioning?

1:07:48 Drew Yeah.

1:07:48 Caller Okay, I was with this girl for like a year, and she had this weird thing going, and she wanted, she always had to have a cigarette before we have sex. So I'm wondering if my body's been like classic conditions.

1:08:02 Drew Oh, that's interesting. That's a viable theory. That's viable.

1:08:07 Adam That's solid.

1:08:07 Drew Yeah, that's interesting. You want to let that behavior extinguish itself. You want to be able to stop smoking and have erections when you have sex.

1:08:15 Adam Good thing she didn't want to enema before sex each time.

1:08:18 Drew Well, he wouldn't be giving that to himself.

1:08:20 Adam Oh, I see. Okay. All right, Don. Yeah, that's what it is.

1:08:23 Drew That's a very reasonable, possible explanation for this.

1:08:26 Adam Let's see. He has a Pavlovian penis. Penis feels the nicotine come into the system and goes, oh, it's time for action, boys. Here we go. So ringing that chuck wagon. For Christ's sake, I'm tired.

1:08:40 Drew You and me both, boy.

1:08:41 Adam What's up with us? We had last week off, so it's like, we're having trouble getting hit in our stride.

1:08:47 Drew Is that what it is? We've been busy this weekend.

1:08:50 Adam No, we haven't been in stride. I haven't done anything this, oh, yeah, this weekend, but not this week. Let me tease a call here. Dorothy.

1:08:58 Caller Oh, yeah, hello?

1:08:59 Adam Hey, you're 16.

1:09:02 Caller 15.

1:09:03 Adam Oh, you're 15?

1:09:03 Caller Yeah.

1:09:04 Adam You got a 15-year-old sister?

1:09:06 Caller I have a 16-year-old sister.

1:09:07 Adam Okay. All right. Sherry, Lisa. Christ's sake.

1:09:12 Caller See, well, first of all, I wanted to say you guys are great. Not tonight. What?

1:09:18 Adam Yeah, we're having a bad night today.

1:09:20 Caller Well, I've been trying to call ever since Allison Hannigan was on.

1:09:24 Drew Who's that?

1:09:25 Caller From Buffy.

1:09:27 Adam Buffy what?

1:09:28 Drew The vampire.

1:09:29 Caller Yeah.

1:09:30 Adam Do we have her on?

1:09:30 Drew I can't remember.

1:09:31 Caller Yeah.

1:09:32 Adam I know we had the cat from Sabrina on a couple of months back. Yeah, I remember her. Yeah, she's that little redheaded spark block.

1:09:39 Caller Yeah.

1:09:40 Adam Right.

1:09:41 Caller Oh, I watched that show religiously, but...

1:09:43 Adam All right. It took you three and a half months to get on?

1:09:45 Caller Yeah, I've been calling ever since, and I swear.

1:09:47 Adam Wow. All right. Well, now we're going to put you on hold. Hold on a second. We got to go to break. I know this is going to be a good question. She's been calling. She said that the speed dial going for three and a half months now. All right, we'll come back with Dorothy who's had a question that's three and a half months old.

1:10:19 Caller Oh, you're right there.

1:10:21 It's Love Line.

1:10:31 Caller Hi, this is David Allen Grier, and you are listening to Love Line with Adam Corolla and the one and only Dr. Drew.

1:10:39 Adam Yes, you is. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. They Might Be Giants are coming up this week. I like that band. Smart guys. I've never met those guys. I'm sure they've been on this show before. Haven't they, Drew?

1:10:52 Drew Not that I can remember. Really? You know me.

1:10:55 Adam Yeah.

1:10:55 Drew It's possible.

1:10:56 Adam Been around for a while, that They Might Be Giants.

1:10:58 Drew You know what? I remember it. But I think they were on once a long time ago, like five years ago. Maybe six years ago.

1:11:05 Caller All right.

1:11:06 Adam I was real gassy this week.

1:11:07 Drew That's nice.

1:11:09 Adam You know, my favorite maneuver my girlfriend loves is when I get my underpants and I stand at the foot of the bed. It works better at a hotel room because I got this big king size bed. And I just stand there and I do like a pose like, you know, like, like the crab pose, a luffrigno. Or sometimes I just do like a funky karate maneuver, but I time the fart right with the karate chop. So I throw like a crescent kick or something, you know, right when I'm, right when I'm throwing the karate chop.

1:11:39 Drew I want you to know that my really, my five year old is really into that stuff too. Yeah, the boys.

1:11:44 Adam That's good. My friend said to me, it is a true story too. My friend Mark said to me once, after I farted and laughed hysterically for 20 minutes, he said, I have a retarded cousin who laughs hysterically after he farts. And he does have a retarded cousin who laughs hysterically.

1:12:04 Drew It's even scarier though, you regaled, we were locked in a car with you for about an hour, you regaled us with fart stories this weekend.

1:12:10 Adam Yeah, I'm the kind of guy-

1:12:11 Drew Oh, man, laughing out loud.

1:12:13 Adam Well, I'm like, I'm like, you know, I don't know, Vince Lombardi, but about farting. I love that sport and it's my passion, it's something I talk about. And when I'm not playing, I'm actually farting, I'm talking about it. Thank you. Dorothy. It's like any other hobby, I guess.

1:12:31 Drew So Dorothy's been trying for three months to get through here.

1:12:34 Caller Yeah.

1:12:34 Drew Oh, yeah, appropriate respect.

1:12:36 Adam All right, so you're 15, your sister 16.

1:12:38 Caller Yeah.

1:12:39 Adam And you're worried that she's getting too sexual?

1:12:44 Caller Yeah, not like obsessed with having sex, but obsessed with the idea, you know?

1:12:49 Drew Is she having sex?

1:12:50 Caller Yeah, well, yeah. But with whom? Different guys, some guys I don't even...

1:12:55 Drew What's up with her? Why do you think she's making those sorts of choices?

1:12:59 Caller I really have no idea.

1:13:01 Drew Is her experience in your family been different than yours?

1:13:05 Caller Um, no.

1:13:06 Caller Not, no. Because, well, we were like, we were, it was me, her, and my little sister, we were adopted when we were little. And we never really knew our real parents.

1:13:16 Drew And you all have the same parents or no?

1:13:18 Caller Right now?

1:13:19 Drew Biological parents.

1:13:19 Caller Oh, yeah. Well, except for dads, we have different dads.

1:13:22 Drew All right, so she's genetically different than you, so she's gonna react differently.

1:13:26 Adam How old's your youngest sister?

1:13:27 Caller She's about to be 14.

1:13:29 Drew Who adopted you? I mean, who are they? What are they like? Your parents?

1:13:34 Caller Oh, they're great, actually.

1:13:36 Drew I mean, it's unusual for somebody to adopt three children, right?

1:13:39 Caller Yeah, they told us that they didn't want to separate us. We were separated from our older brother when we were little.

1:13:45 Adam Thank God your biological parents had four kids. Four.

1:13:49 Drew Different dads.

1:13:50 Adam Couldn't take care of one kid. I mean, not qualified to take care of an effing hamster, and you have four. Four. You know what I'm saying? Drew has three kids. He's got three kids, eight nannies, and I see Drew. Drew reaches into his pocket, and he pulls out handfuls of 20s, and just throws it at his kids. It's just constantly. It's like a barrage. It's like an ATM blew up. He has to throw money at his kids, and his old parent, his nanny, and his wife. He just keeps throwing money at them, and his pockets, he can't get to his pockets fast enough. Could you imagine four kids?

1:14:27 Drew No.

1:14:28 Adam And why is it that our government that won't let me put a goddamn roof on my own house will not dream of intervening with someone like your mom after kid number three? They won't dream of it. I hate that about them. Meanwhile, if I put a pot plant in my backyard, there's gonna be a helicopter and guys rappelling down from it to take me away. No, oh yes, we'll seize your property. Oh, we will seize it. Well, believe me, you go to the park and buy a joint, we will take your car. We'll keep it and we'll auction it off. Don Johnson will drive it around when he does the next Miami Vice reunion show. That's a horrible show. Please. All right, anyway, so Dorothy, we like your adopted parents, but we don't like your biological parents. But it sounds to me- I'm grateful. Yeah, it sounds to me like your sister's up to what your mom was up to. Absolutely, right?

1:15:24 Drew Yeah, and she was at a different age when she was taken away from your parents, biological parents, and she has different genetic makeup, and she had a different experience, and it's going to create a different behavior. And for you, things are sort of adequately stable, and you're sort of dealing with things. She is not.

1:15:41 Adam She's acting out. Must have been. Now, the youngest is 14, so the oldest was at least two and change before she got picked up, and maybe older. How old were you when you got adopted?

1:15:58 Caller I think three.

1:16:00 Adam So your sister was four.

1:16:01 Drew Four or five. And so that's quite a delicate age. That's right in the middle of it.

1:16:06 Adam A lot of years growing up with a lot of jackasses nearby, and enough time with biological mom to be pretty connected. To have a little of that stink rub off.

1:16:17 Drew Well, and to be really connected, and then the abandonment issues, imagine that. Mom's just gone. She's handing over someone else.

1:16:22 Adam Mom was essentially a positive.

1:16:24 Drew I understand that mom was nuts also, but it's no wonder. I mean, she needs some help, Dorothy. Maybe you ought to talk to your parents, the adopted parents, and see if maybe they can get some professional help for her if that's at all possible, because she's acting out. This is a response to her emotional world, and it's not good for her as you're picking up.

1:16:41 Adam Yeah. See, when I'm in charge, her status would be CD, we would call it, a candidate for deprogramming. You understand?

1:16:54 Drew How would you deprogram?

1:16:56 Adam I'd take them into a camp that have set up.

1:17:00 Drew A work camp?

1:17:01 Adam Yeah, except for there would be no work going on. Just euphemistically, we'd call it a work camp, but there'd be a lot of deprogramming, some sterilization, things like that.

1:17:10 Drew The clockwork orange, eyes held open.

1:17:13 Adam I would take a look at what Dorothy's biological mom was up to, and I'd take a look at what Dorothy's 16-year-old sister's up to, multi-partners that hold nine yards at 16, and that'd be enough. I'd haul her in and have her deprogram. I'd give her the 10-year NORP plant. I want to invent the NORP plant that is what texture coating is to houses.

1:17:40 Drew The one that never goes away?

1:17:42 Adam Yeah. You can paint your house every three or four years or you can get the texture coat on there. It's going to guarantee for like 15 years. That's what I want. I want that NORP plant. Then I start working that into the drinking water supply.

1:17:53 Drew Oh, good.

1:17:55 Adam And then I funnel it to the neighborhoods. I know that are the troubled neighborhoods. You know what I'm saying?

1:17:59 Drew Interesting. All right.

1:18:01 Next call, please.

1:18:03 Adam Rob.

1:18:04 Yeah.

1:18:04 Adam You're 20.

1:18:05 Caller Yes.

1:18:06 Adam What's going on?

1:18:07 Caller Okay. Well, I was listening to Kennedy earlier and she was talking about how you were apparently only not virgin after you'd had vaginal sex. So I'm sitting here wondering what someone like that would say about someone who is like me and gay and are you ever not a virgin?

1:18:27 Drew You have no vagina and?

1:18:28 Caller No vagina and I mean, yeah, I mean, there's the anus there that's... I mean...

1:18:33 Drew And not all gay males break that plane?

1:18:37 Caller Not all gay males break that plane. I mean, I know a lot who's only like ever jacked off together, but...

1:18:41 Adam Right. It's weird. It's weird talking about with the football analogies before. It is if they have first down on the three yard line, but they elect to kick the field goal. You know what I mean? They never punch it in. They never go over the top. They just kick that field goal. I know a lot of gay guys who do that too. All they do is oral sex.

1:19:01 Caller Oral sex, yeah. Or, you know, like masturbation together.

1:19:05 Adam That's weird. It's really like you're in camp and there's some kind of weird experience going on when you're just masturbating with a guy.

1:19:14 Caller Yes.

1:19:15 Adam Hey, Rob.

1:19:16 Caller Yeah.

1:19:18 Adam The men have what I like to call as the behemoth. That is the thing that gets pierced in a male. But don't worry. Don't worry about the virginity. It doesn't matter what your status is. God's pissed on your gay. Believe me. You'll be in hell with me.

1:19:33 Caller I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

1:19:33 Adam Oh, yes.

1:19:35 Caller No, I wouldn't quite say that.

1:19:36 Adam I know God. God's not what God had in mind.

1:19:39 Drew God's pissed at Adam, too. Don't worry, Rob.

1:19:41 Caller Good company.

1:19:43 Adam Just be me, a handful of pedophiles, a bunch of gay guys in hell. I'm thinking I'm going to be the leader.

1:19:49 Drew And I visited hell today.

1:19:51 Adam Oh, yeah. Drew went to Circus Circus.

1:19:53 Caller Oh, I thought you went to, like, the Republican Convention.

1:19:55 Adam He knows what hell's like. So, hey, Rob. Yeah. Now, let me ask you about your proclivity. You're gay, right?

1:20:04 Caller Yeah.

1:20:04 Adam Now, do you feel that you were always gay or were you sort of forced into gayhood?

1:20:11 Caller No, I don't believe I was forced into anything.

1:20:15 Drew Well, listen, let me, you should rephrase that, because just the way you were forced into breast preoccupation, Adam.

1:20:22 Adam Right.

1:20:22 Drew Maybe the same notion. So, the question is, is it, do you have a sense that it's a biological thing with you or that you are aware of it?

1:20:30 Caller You know, I think it's a biological thing. I did experiment around, I mean, I have slept with women and, I mean, just, quite frankly, I feel much better both emotionally and sexually with men.

1:20:40 Adam Well, I will agree with Rob that they're, it eliminates the cootie factor.

1:20:44 Drew How's that?

1:20:45 Adam I mean, the women have the cooties.

1:20:46 Caller Oh, I see.

1:20:46 Adam I think that's clear.

1:20:48 Caller All my best friends are women, so.

1:20:50 Adam Oh, yes, that's the way it works. That's irony. And they all wish they could find a guy like you. Oh, look at him. He smells of cologne. He's never a hair out of place. He's so conscious. He's so conscientious, and he takes care of everybody, and he loves to go shopping, and they're all just kicking their selves in the ass that they can't find a guy like you who's into them sexually. Rob. Yeah. What do you think? Is your mom over a little overdominatory?

1:21:16 Caller Yeah. I mean, she's a bit overbearing, but I know, you know, three other guys who are like that who are straight.

1:21:22 Adam Dad kind of... Is your dad...

1:21:23 Caller My parents were divorced at two. I had a stepfather from the time I was five. He was very supportive. He was my dad. And I mean, I grew up with them. And I mean, my mom is a little overbearing and can be kind of power hungry sometimes.

1:21:36 Adam Hold on a second. Wait a minute. I was just thinking of Drew. Susan, she cracks a pretty mean whip herself there.

1:21:45 Drew Oh, for the boys.

1:21:46 Adam You got a couple of boys there, Drew. You send them over to Uncle Adam's house for the summer. I'll straighten them out. All right. I think that may be your only chance.

1:21:55 Drew You run a farm or something?

1:21:56 Adam Steady diet of peanut butter and pornography. I'll have those kids back on their sexual feet in no time. Well, think about it, Drew. I mean, your theory is, and Drew doesn't like me talking about his theories on the air, but it's my theory too that half the guys we speak to that are gay, probably three quarters of the guy, have the over-domineering mom. It's a ball buster mom. The dad is like a Chimpacus from Rebel without a cause. He just sits there like a pussy.

1:22:24 Drew On this show, we hear more about males that were sexually abused when they were younger, and that screws with their sexual identity. And then the next camp that we hear from is these over-intrusive moms, which is different than over-domineering.

1:22:35 Adam Rob? Yeah. Any sexual anything go on with you when you were a kid?

1:22:41 Caller When I was 12, I was raped.

1:22:43 Adam By who?

1:22:44 Caller By my drama coach.

1:22:46 Adam Really? But the fact that he was in drama class, and Chesney already. You were raped by your drama coach?

1:22:53 Caller Yeah.

1:22:54 Adam Maybe it was just part of some exercise that you weren't let in on. Did you miss a day before that?

1:22:59 Caller Yeah.

1:23:00 Adam What happened?

1:23:04 Caller He was a friend of a family. He offered me a ride home. I accepted. He came on to me. I didn't know what to do. And I got myself into a bad situation and got myself kind of hurt.

1:23:17 Adam All right. But shouldn't you hate guys now?

1:23:20 Caller Well, you know, I mean, women who have been raped as children don't necessarily grow up to be man haters and don't necessarily grow up to be lesbian.

1:23:28 Adam No, it's interesting. As a matter of fact, they oftentimes want to control.

1:23:31 Drew Control men. They do hate men, but they become strippers and hookers and stuff. And they want to control them.

1:23:36 Adam Maybe. And this is interesting, Rob. Maybe it's no different between men and women, and it's no different between trauma, that it just, when you're traumatized, you want to control what traumatized you when you were younger. You know what I'm saying?

1:23:54 Drew Some element of that.

1:23:55 Adam Maybe Rob has an element of wanting to control men because of this guy who traumatized him.

1:24:01 Drew So you sort of reenact that experience with genitalia.

1:24:04 Adam It's interesting. And do you like acting too now?

1:24:08 Caller Oh yeah, I'm an actor. That's what I do.

1:24:11 Adam All right, hold on. Well, that's something.

1:24:17 Drew It's interesting. I mean, there are, I think there are elements to that sort of thing. All right.

1:24:21 Adam So it just goes to show that we've never spoken to a gay man who hasn't been molested. But we know they're out there. They just don't call it. I think Dooley is one of them. But Drew, back to my words of warning for you. You know, Susan, she, you know, like I said, she's a motivated woman. She takes care of business. And you got two sons.

1:24:43 Drew Yes.

1:24:44 Adam And you know what our theory is.

1:24:45 Drew Yes.

1:24:46 Adam And I'm just saying, it's just something you might want to keep an eye on.

1:24:49 Drew I'll send you, I'll send them over to your place for a summer. That's fine.

1:24:51 Adam That's all right. I'll straighten them out. Don't worry. I'll take them. We'll go out. We'll go out. We'll do like some ice fishing or something. We'll just sit on a cooler and drink beer for three days straight on Lake Manitoba.

1:25:05 Drew Havasu.

1:25:06 Adam Lake Havasu. That doesn't freeze over. I'm flying the kids. I'm flying the kids to Minnesota.

1:25:10 Drew You do ice fishing.

1:25:11 Adam Yeah. We can put the big auger bit out there and go after some crappie or something.

1:25:16 All right.

1:25:18 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back for more Loveline.

1:25:22 Drew I feel so liquidy.

1:25:23 Really?

1:25:24 Caller You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:25:38 Radio that keeps you up at night. It's Loveline, only on W-E-B-N.

1:25:54 Adam Hey, everybody, it's The Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is the board certified one, and tomorrow, James, how do you say that, Drew? Leisure or leisure?

1:26:10 Drew Got me. Looks like leisure.

1:26:12 Adam Yeah, for your love. Say, what is that, Drew? It's a show. He'll be on tomorrow. Is that a guy?

1:26:19 Drew James, yeah.

1:26:20 Adam We really know how to sell a gas. We're excited to have him.

1:26:22 Drew Why do you ask me?

1:26:24 Adam I don't...

1:26:26 Drew But we're really excited to have him.

1:26:27 Adam No, we are. Are we? I don't know. All right. You idiots will listen tomorrow anyway, right? You bastards. Sandy.

1:26:36 Caller Hello.

1:26:37 Adam You're 16.

1:26:38 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:26:39 Adam What's going on? Your boyfriend just cheated.

1:26:42 Caller About a week ago, he confronted with me the next day about it. He told me the next morning it had happened on a night. And he told me it was sex. It was just sex. He didn't kiss her.

1:26:54 Drew How old is he?

1:26:55 Caller Huh?

1:26:55 Drew How old is he?

1:26:56 Caller 17.

1:26:57 Caller All right.

1:26:58 Caller And...

1:26:59 Adam No kissing, huh?

1:27:00 Caller No, he said he didn't kiss her. He said it with a girl he had gone to school with a couple years ago. He didn't find her attractive. And I asked him the reason why he did it. And he told me the reason that he did it was because he just wanted to know what it was like to be with somebody else.

1:27:17 Drew That guy's great.

1:27:20 Adam That's a good, that's a good angle by the way. Noble.

1:27:22 Drew Noble.

1:27:23 Adam No kissing, he wasn't attractive to her.

1:27:25 Caller He wasn't, yeah.

1:27:27 Adam Poor bastard.

1:27:28 Caller Oh, tell me about it. But I kind of, I took down all the pictures I had of him. I felt really repulsed when he told me I'm like, I was, I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to talk to him.

1:27:41 Drew It's a violation.

1:27:43 Caller Yeah, and he was the first and the only person I've ever been with.

1:27:47 Drew He may have done you a favor.

1:27:49 Caller Yeah. That's it. Yeah, we'll see, when we had sex, we had, we'd been going out for about six or seven months before we actually made that move. And when we did, I never orgasmed. I didn't feel anything. And so I don't, I don't know, see, I was kind of thinking the reason that he cheated is because he never really got pleasure out of it.

1:28:10 Caller No, no, no, no.

1:28:11 Adam He cheated because he's an a-hole.

1:28:13 Drew He's a guy, he's an asshole.

1:28:14 Caller Yeah, he still tells me that he loves me and he wants to marry me and...

1:28:18 Drew No, he doesn't know what he wants.

1:28:20 Caller No.

1:28:21 Caller So should I break up with him? We've been going out for almost a year.

1:28:25 Adam Yeah, it's time to move on.

1:28:27 Caller Okay, that's like, that's what all my friends tell me, but...

1:28:30 Drew It would be normal for your age. And he's doing you a favor. He really is. This is what he is at this point in his life. And you need to focus on school and date more guys and figure out what you want.

1:28:41 Adam Yeah, and he came clean with her the following day. I like that, though. I just, there's a sort of, you turn it into a non-sexual thing. It was a sort of curiosity thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was like when people say, it's a difference between somebody saying, sure, I experimented with pot in college. It's a difference between Clinton saying that and Clinton saying, yeah, I followed the dead and I dealt weed for a while. When you use the word experiment in front of whatever it is, it's almost just like you're a scientist. But you're doing some research.

1:29:12 Drew Do you get how diabolical he is? What he's really the message he's actually giving her is, I was just checking it out so I wouldn't be okay to stay with you longer. So I wouldn't need to do this more later.

1:29:23 Adam Okay. Bangs of Nameless Broad, I wasn't attracted to. Check. Check.

1:29:29 Drew Off my list.

1:29:30 Adam Off the list, honey.

1:29:32 Drew Hard luck. This is the beginning of a career.

1:29:35 Yeah.

1:29:36 Adam You told her. Yeah. I love that. I love the fact that.

1:29:39 Drew It may not be a bad guy.

1:29:41 Adam No.

1:29:41 Drew It's the wrong point in his life and not the right person.

1:29:43 Adam Right. Move on, Sandy. Please. And no excuse in the world. Oh, boy. Fatima?

1:29:50 Yeah?

1:29:51 Adam You're 24?

1:29:52 Caller Yeah.

1:29:53 Adam What's going on?

1:29:54 Caller Well, I had a comment, I guess, about the person you called in about, you know, what is a virgin. And I told, I don't agree. I think if you, if you had any sexual experience whatsoever, you're just not considered a virgin anymore.

1:30:08 Drew Well, that's our deal is that we, there's, there's chastity and virginity and those are the same things.

1:30:12 Caller You should call it, you're chaste. You're not, you know.

1:30:14 Drew I agree. We had to get rid of the term, get rid of the term virgin and call it just chastity.

1:30:18 Caller Totally. I mean, I think she's giving out wrong information to people that are listening to her.

1:30:22 Adam I prefer to use the term soiled and clean. She was just, you're either soiled, either you're, you listen, you're a pair of underwear that's either been worn or it's still in the drawer. And it doesn't matter whether you're riding a bike or going to work or scratching your ass. It doesn't matter. Once you're out of the drawer and you're on someone's ass, you're going into the hamper. And that's where I look for my women in the hamper. That's I like the name of single hamper that we keep doing.

1:30:47 Drew Let's stuff in the hamper.

1:30:48 Adam Hey, where are you going tonight? Down to the hamper?

1:30:50 Drew No, but you're looking for women in your hamper. Is that the deal? That's the explanation for all the hamper.

1:30:56 Adam No, my hamper related. Yes, Drew.

1:30:58 Caller She's just trying to make herself feel better because she's probably had anal sex or something.

1:31:01 Drew Well, she is just describing her experience. And I think as are you yours. And I tend to agree. My personal thing is it's interesting that she had an experience that was different with genital contact. And there's a theoretical construct to support that that may be a different experience for people. So, all right, it's a discussion.

1:31:19 Adam When did you make it into the hamper, Fatima?

1:31:22 Caller I'm a virgin.

1:31:23 Adam You are?

1:31:24 Caller Yeah.

1:31:25 Adam Why?

1:31:26 Caller Why not? It's better to be a virgin than deal with all this mess that's going on today.

1:31:31 Adam God bless you. I'm with you on that. Now, do you have a boyfriend?

1:31:36 Caller Not at the moment.

1:31:37 Adam Are you going to just wait till you get married?

1:31:41 Caller If it's somebody that I love and I get married, yeah, definitely. But I'm not going to say, you know, wait till you get married and, you know, I'm not going to go that way.

1:31:48 Drew Fatima sounds great.

1:31:49 Adam Yeah. Are you a big gal, Fatima?

1:31:53 Caller What do you ask?

1:31:54 Drew I know, what do you ask?

1:31:56 Adam Women, sometimes women, and when it's not a religious thing, it's more of a weight issue.

1:32:00 Caller No, it's not a weight issue at all.

1:32:02 Adam I understand. All right, I know you're fine, Fatima.

1:32:05 Drew Thanks, Fatima.

1:32:06 Adam And the first three letters of your name spell fat. So it's not that bizarre question, is it, Drew?

1:32:13 Drew I'm a fat.

1:32:15 Adam You know, and teachers probably a whole lot. It's Fat Tina. Fat Tina, you're going to raise your hand. You know, the class is laughing their ass off.

1:32:23 Drew Fat I am a.

1:32:24 Adam Fatima. Is Fatima out there?

1:32:27 Caller Fatty?

1:32:30 Drew She sounded great, though.

1:32:31 Adam Yeah, yeah. 24 and a virgin. John.

1:32:34 Yeah.

1:32:35 Adam You're 24.

1:32:36 Caller Yes, I am.

1:32:37 Adam And listen, I've talked about this theory before, but here goes again. You virgins and you people haven't tried anything in your life, no matter what it is. You know what it feels like. Close your eyes. I mean, you know what bungee jumping feels like. If you close your eyes, you can have to do it. Here's what I'm saying. I wondered my whole life what a breast felt like. And then when I when I was 28, I felt a breast for the first time I went. That's exactly what I thought it felt like. Same with oral sex. Think about that, Drew. You from about the age of 10 on, you start thinking about, my God, what if someone put their mouth on my penis? I'd go insane, right? But when it happened, when you were, I don't know, 17, 16, whatever it was, your first idea was, yep, I knew what that was. Standing up on a surfboard, you know what it feels like, even if you've never done it before. You may not experience the sensation of it, but you know what it's like. All right, John.

1:33:36 Caller Hello?

1:33:36 Drew Yeah, what's up?

1:33:37 Caller Nada, I'm just calling because I just got out of a two and a half year relationship and I just recently been getting with younger women, 15, 16 year old women. I've been working on a movie and we have a bunch of PAs on the shoot and they just happen to be high school girls. It just happens to be a lot easier to get with younger women than older women. I've just been like, I don't know, having sex with 15, 16 year old women.

1:34:08 Drew All right, stop. All right.

1:34:11 Adam Okay. Hey John.

1:34:14 Drew Yeah? You're going to jail if you keep doing it. Well.

1:34:16 Caller That's what I'm wondering. That's my whole thing. I'm in San Francisco, right? So I'm wondering, what is the statutory rape law out here? I thought 16 was legal.

1:34:25 Drew Not if you're 24.

1:34:27 Caller Not if you're 24.

1:34:28 Drew I think if you're 19, but that's it.

1:34:30 Caller But why does it matter if you're 19 or 24?

1:34:32 Drew I think in California, you need to be within three years of somebody.

1:34:36 Caller I see. What I thought is as long as they're 16 and they say it's okay, their parents can't press charges.

1:34:41 Drew John, you go to jail for a long time. And we've talked to many people who have.

1:34:45 Caller Really?

1:34:45 Drew The parents can do whatever they want. And it won't be hard.

1:34:49 Adam Hey, John.

1:34:49 Drew It's not looked upon well. It's to protect the 16-year-olds, too.

1:34:53 Adam Oh, it's just pathetic. Forget about jail. It's just, listen, here's your jail. Here's your prison, John. You're a guy who bangs 15-year-olds. That's your life.

1:35:04 Drew It's pathetic.

1:35:05 Adam But listen to me, everybody. Forget about prison for a minute. Forget about what's on the books. Forget about copping a police. You don't steal stuff because you're a thief. You don't bang your friend's girlfriend because you're an a-hole. You don't bang a nine-year-old girl because you're an abuser and a pedophile. Not because someone's gonna catch up to you. That's just what you become when you do that. And that's why you should not do it. Don't worry about the laws in the books. Don't bang 15-year-olds because it makes you an a-hole. And then that becomes your life.

1:35:40 Drew A pathetic a-hole.

1:35:41 Adam There you go.

1:35:44 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:35:51 Caller All of my most sensitive areas were inflamed.

1:35:53 Oh, yeah. It's a good one.

1:35:54 Caller W-E-B-N.

1:35:57 Adam Hey, here's Loveline.

1:35:59 Caller Okay.

1:35:59 Adam Mercifully, the show is over. We're going to be back and in full effect tomorrow night, right, Drew?

1:36:03 Drew We did all right tonight. There was another circumstance.

1:36:05 Adam All right. I want to thank Engineer Brett for doing a great job tonight filming for, of course, Dually, the One Not Wonder. Sharing Lisa for doing a wonderful job, except for the one where they transposed the two ages of the girls, the 15, 16. That's kind of pissed off about that. But other than that, doing a spectacular job. So until next time, and by the way, Producer Ann is still on vacation. She'll be back by the end of the summer. Sometime. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:35 Caller This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And are probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Zingold. Now please listen to this station longer.

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Monday, September 7, 1998