Episode 1000754888104

0:13 Voiceover What did that guy say? I don't know, that music was ripping, though. And now, here's Loveline, with your hosts Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

0:28 Adam Tina.

0:29 Hello.

0:29 Adam Hey, you're 21, you're on Loveline.

0:31 Caller Hi, I just have a question. My boyfriend had seen you on MTV, and he was saying that something about, another caller had called in, and I guess you had advised them not to have sex during her period, because it could decrease the risk or the chances of you ever getting pregnant.

0:51 Drew Well, interesting conclusion you've drawn from what I said. It is possible to get pregnant during your period, so you shouldn't consider yourself protected, and there is some evidence that women during their periods sort of have a more, an open sort of route to the higher areas of the genital tract, like the fallopian tube, so if, should he be passing an infection to you, it could get into the higher areas of the genital tract, and if they get into the fallopian tubes, they might impact on fertility that way.

1:17 Adam Plus, the real danger is that the guy never gets another erection, and that's...

1:22 Drew Why not?

1:23 Adam Please, Drew, that is just a yucky town. You know what I mean?

1:29 Caller Well, so overall...

1:30 Drew Where does a real man get down to business?

1:33 Adam Okay, well you heard it here first, everybody. Drew is more man than I.

1:38 Caller Is it mostly that it just, if he is like infected with something?

1:43 Drew Yeah, right, I mean, there's, you're asking, it's sort of a complication.

1:47 Adam Well, what are you doing, Tina?

1:48 Drew But, but I had just said it, there's Tina.

1:50 Adam My girlfriend has a cut on her finger, I don't go near her.

1:52 Drew But Tina, I just want you to understand the basic principle that your complications of infections are greater during your period and you're not protected against pregnancy. So I try to kind of keep it simple like that. Whether you get infected and how you get infected is actually an issue of controversy. When I was in training, we thought it was always chlamydia or gonorrhea. There's now evidence that other bacteria can get up there too. And so it's not always so clear cut that it's a sexually transmitted disease.

2:16 Adam But you have a much less chance of becoming pregnant when you're on your period, don't you? Yes.

2:21 Drew Less.

2:22 Adam It's quite a bit.

2:22 Drew Less.

2:23 Adam Listen, there's gotta be some payday. You know what I mean? There's gotta be something in it for you. You understand, Drew?

2:29 Drew Otherwise, one wouldn't have one, is that what you're saying?

2:30 Adam No, what I'm saying is, if the guy is gonna go through the trouble of having sex while she's on her period and deal with the shame, humiliation, and if a man has that intestinal fortitude to go forward and do that, there should be some payoff, and that payoff is less chance of getting pregnant. It's quite a bit less, isn't it? It's not a contraceptive, but Drew, you gotta understand, you know what you do with this crap? You do the same thing the government does with some drugs.

3:00 Drew No, it's the same thing we do with seat belts. It's like, yes, if you don't wear your seat belt driving across the street, yes, it's not as bad as if you don't wear your seat belt all the time. But if something happens when you have your seat belt on, the statistics are bad if you don't wear your seat belt all the time.

3:14 Adam Okay, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the government comes out and says, look, if you smoke marijuana, you're a dope head. If you're a dope head, you deserve to be locked up.

3:24 Drew It's not true, though.

3:25 Adam It'll kill you.

3:25 Drew It's not true.

3:26 Adam And it's not true. So people stop listening.

3:28 Drew Right.

3:28 Adam And they think they're full of crap and it's so much propaganda. Okay.

3:32 Drew That's why I try to be accurate.

3:33 Adam That's why I tell you go ahead and tell the kids the truth.

3:38 Drew Yes.

3:38 Adam It's quite a bit. It's reduced quite a bit.

3:42 Drew Quite a bit.

3:42 Adam Your chances of pregnancy. And don't give that, well, it's a little bit, but who knows? There's still very good chance and all that. It's quite a bit, right?

3:49 Drew Yeah.

3:49 Adam All right. That still doesn't mean you should be doing it.

3:51 Drew Right.

3:52 Adam And you should kind of put a condom on anyway if you're going to be chumming. You're going to dip your penis in the chum bucket. You better put a condom on. You see that part in Jaws?

4:06 Drew Yeah.

4:07 Adam OK. Hey, it's Loveline. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Ednaswap is in here tonight. They are our guests and they will be in here in about 15 minutes. I heard them playing before I came in. Did you catch any of that, Drew? I did.

4:25 Drew It sounded good. I was too busy watching The Man Show. I was riveted to The Man Show.

4:29 Adam I brought Drew in a little tape of the pilot I'd been working on. He saw about two minutes and then had to run out of the room. The way life works is this place is basically a ghost town every night when Drew and I roll in here at a quarter to ten. There's another room to the side of our studio, which is sort of the TV, conference table, and VCR room.

4:50 Drew No one's ever been in that room.

4:51 Adam Yeah. 99 nights out of 100. You could probably just walk in there and I could bend Drew over the conference table and just have my way with him. I could leave the door open. But the night I come in with my tape to show Drew and we're excited to see it, there's a couple guys in there with their feet up on the table and they're watching a basketball game. So then we had to run around and it didn't quite work out. But anyway, Ednaswap is in here. I heard these guys playing live when they were doing some soundchecking with the engineer Mike. I think they're going to play Torn and maybe they're going to play another song and they sound great. And I met them I think last Thursday at the morning show in the Real Nice. And they played on that and it sounded great too. So they'll be in here in a few minutes. And until then, it's back to the phones. Josh?

5:34 Caller Yeah?

5:35 Adam You're 18.

5:36 Caller Hey, what's going on guys?

5:37 Adam Hey, nothing.

5:38 Caller All right, cool. Me and my roommates, we were playing this kind of sex Tetris game and you're moving around in different positions and everything and they make cool noises. I think it's right up your alley there.

5:51 Drew What in the hell are you talking about?

5:52 Adam It's a video game?

5:54 Caller Yeah, we got the internet.

5:55 Adam Tetris is a video game, right?

5:57 Caller Well, yeah, it's Tetris, but it's with naked people and you put the guys and girls together and they make nifty sounds.

6:03 Adam Yeah, I'm not, you know what, my guy have so many videos that I don't need any of that simulated stuff.

6:10 Caller Well, you know, it's a way to pass the time between classes, I guess.

6:14 Adam Yeah, but I don't know, there comes a point in your life when you don't get interested in charging yourself up and, you know, firing up the motor when you're nowhere near the place where you can use the motor. You know what I mean? It becomes a form of torture.

6:30 Caller Yeah, that's true.

6:30 Adam You know, like when you're young, you go to a magazine stand and you start thumbing through Gent or Busty or D-Cup or something like that. And the rally is, is you're not going to be home for another four hours, so you just walk around with a limp and you're in pain.

6:44 Drew Yeah. Josh?

6:45 Adam When you get older, you don't do that, you just buy the magazine and bring it home.

6:48 Drew Right.

6:49 Caller Okay, what is my question? It kind of, we got an argument about it, and I was talking to my friends and I was saying that I don't think that you necessarily, a guy necessarily has to have an orgasm, for him to ejaculate. I mean, I really don't know what the thing about an orgasm is.

7:07 Drew Can semen be emitted without a climax? Yeah, but it's uncommon. And it's usually more than anything, a medication problem, things like that. It's an abnormal state of physiology.

7:18 Caller Oh, I know that women don't have it.

7:19 Adam Well, it's like you should usually sneeze to have... It's not come out of your nose, but once in a while you just get a cold. No, it doesn't work. You know, like a runny nose. Now, some guys have a little leakage problem. Is that what you're talking about?

7:33 Caller Well, no. I mean, like, I mean, women sometimes you can kind of sizzle away at them and they really don't feel anything. I mean, is that, can that be the case for a guy?

7:44 Drew What? No, what are you saying?

7:46 Caller Well, just like, can you finish off and just not feel anything and not have an orgasm?

7:53 Drew You could not have an orgasm, but you can't have a climax without an orgasm.

7:59 Adam Listen, listen to me, Josh. Listen. If you're on like a roller coaster and there's a G-force factor and something slips out of your penis that's not urine, then you can have an orgasm or an ejaculation without having an orgasm. But if something comes flying out of your penis, that's what he's asking, I thought.

8:21 Drew No, his question is, can you sort of have a refractory end of sexual arousal without an orgasm? You're having sex, you finish without having an orgasm, that's what he's saying.

8:30 Caller Without like feeling like...

8:32 Drew Josh, here's the deal.

8:32 Adam What do you mean finish?

8:34 Drew Here's the deal, Josh.

8:34 Adam Well, what do you mean finish?

8:36 Caller Like a bust or something, you know?

8:39 Adam You mean, listen, you mean have stuff squirt out of your penis.

8:44 Caller Right, without feeling an orgasm.

8:46 Drew Right, okay.

8:47 Adam Drew, I was right. Wasn't I, you idiot?

8:50 Drew Yeah, well, it doesn't work like that, Josh.

8:52 Adam No, listen, if something comes flying out of your penis, you feel it.

8:54 Drew Yes, basically.

8:55 Adam If something goes flying into your penis, you feel it even more.

8:58 Drew Yeah, but you know what, Josh, here's the deal. Your plumbing, your system, provided you don't have diabetes, provided you don't have medication, it'll work just fine. You don't have to draw, you know, get a drawing board and a drafting board and figure out how it all works or think of strange new variations on the theme of humanity. What you need to worry about is having a relationship with somebody you care about, focus on that, and the biology takes care of itself very nicely.

9:23 Adam And you know what's weird? All hypotheticals involving the penis and its function, they leave about 20, you never talk about them again.

9:33 Drew Yeah, what is that?

9:34 Adam You know what I mean? Like when you're 17, you're like at a supermarket and you pick up one of those big summer squashes that weighs about 40 pounds and you always have to say, you have to hold it up to your groin and go, imagine if your shlong was this big.

9:49 Drew What have you been doing tonight?

9:50 Adam You don't do that when you get older.

9:52 Drew That's true.

9:53 Adam And I think only guys do that. I don't think women drive into the Holland Tunnel and go, imagine if your crotch was that wide. I don't think they do that. The guys will pick out inanimate objects and work hypotheticals.

10:09 Drew Little girls walk around and pretend they're pregnant.

10:11 Adam Oh, they do.

10:11 Drew Pillows and stuff. What if I modify my tummy when I'm like that?

10:15 Adam Oh, yeah.

10:15 Drew Isn't that interesting though?

10:18 Adam I tell you, if my son did that, I'd get him right to therapy.

10:20 Drew But I really think it's a similar impulse. It really is.

10:24 Adam Yeah, but they stop that when they're six and a half.

10:27 Drew Yeah, men are much more primitive.

10:29 Adam One time, my friends were doing this in their early thirties.

10:31 Drew Yeah, those are your friends.

10:32 Adam All right. But any hypothetical involving the penis? They get into arguments.

10:37 Drew In most cases, my friends stopped it about six and a half.

10:39 Adam You don't have big arguments about the penis.

10:40 Drew Six and a half.

10:41 Adam Right. Imagine if your sack was as big as a duffel bag.

10:47 Drew Steven?

10:48 Ednaswap Yeah?

10:48 Drew Hi.

10:50 Ednaswap I was just wondering why is it that I always seem to fall for straight men?

10:54 Drew When you're not straight yourself?

10:57 Ednaswap I'm not. I'm gay.

10:58 Adam You're fifteen?

10:59 Yes.

11:00 Adam How long have you been gay?

11:02 About fourth grade.

11:04 Adam Oh, really? What happened to you?

11:05 Ednaswap Nothing.

11:06 Adam Nothing? Where's your mom?

11:09 Ednaswap In bed. In the next room.

11:12 Caller You like her?

11:13 Ednaswap Yeah.

11:14 Caller Huh?

11:15 Ednaswap Not in that way, but yes.

11:18 Adam What's implying that? Where's your dad?

11:21 In the next room in the bed with her.

11:23 Adam Uh-huh. They're religious people?

11:25 Ednaswap No, not really.

11:26 Adam No? Hmm.

11:30 Drew I'm gonna let you tie your own noose. Put your head right in.

11:33 Adam I'm trying to get to the bottom of this.

11:34 Drew Adam, it's shocking to you, but it can happen spontaneously.

11:37 Adam I know. I know what happens. I'm just... There's usually a little more motivation here. You have a sister? Anybody die in your family?

11:46 Ednaswap My grandfather about nine years ago.

11:48 Adam Oh, yes. Now, is your sister a big gal?

11:52 Yeah.

11:54 Ednaswap I believe it.

11:55 She's a lesbian also, so...

11:57 Adam She is? Do you have more than one sister?

12:00 Ednaswap No.

12:01 Adam No. Just one big one? That's like kind of like having two because she's so big, right?

12:05 Drew Fat.

12:05 Adam True place. I said big. and, uh, what...

12:11 Drew No, Steven, people your age have all...

12:15 Adam Well, all... It's hard to find gay men when you're 15, isn't it?

12:18 Drew There's that, and there's sort of trying to develop a mature sense of what you're attracted to and what your objects are going to be when you're older. I mean, a lot of straight men are attracted to straight men at your age. Straight in a strange kind of intimate way and without being necessarily gay. And, you know, and people, heterosexuals are attracted to women, sort of sort out who they, what kind of person they're really attracted to and what works for them. It takes time, you know. It's something that will sort itself out.

12:46 Adam Hey, Stephen? Do you go to a public school?

12:50 Drew Yeah. I mean, it's not like now you're just attracted to particular guys. They happen to be straight. That's all. You're not interacting with other people.

12:55 Adam It's hard to find gay men in the 9th or 10th grade, 9th grade.

12:59 Drew The nice thing is you sound OK about your sexuality, right? You're comfortable with that?

13:03 Oh, yeah. All right.

13:04 Drew I mean, look at this 15-year-old. Most 15-year-olds realize they're gay. You notice that's what's different about Stephen, right?

13:10 Adam Yeah, no.

13:10 Drew There's not all that ambivalence.

13:11 Adam I don't hear much going on in him.

13:13 Drew OK.

13:13 Adam Do your folks know? Oh, they do?

13:17 Ednaswap Huh?

13:18 Yeah, they don't care.

13:20 Adam They don't?

13:20 Ednaswap No.

13:21 Adam They didn't have any kind of reaction? No. Were they hippie?

13:25 Ednaswap My mom started crying because she didn't understand, but that's about it, right, when she first found out.

13:30 Adam So no reaction other than crying?

13:33 No.

13:34 Ednaswap OK.

13:34 Adam So that's no reaction?

13:36 No.

13:37 Adam OK. Other than the crying part? Yeah. OK. So no real reaction? No. It's not like she, I don't know, put a shotgun in her mouth and pulled the trigger with her big toe or anything like that? No. She just whacked openly. OK. So they're all right with it? She probably had something in her eye. It was allergy season or something. So, Stephen? Yeah. Don't don't tell anyone at school you're gay, though. Their kids are kids are pain in the ass.

14:03 Ednaswap Too late for that.

14:04 Adam Uh-oh. Well, they come after you?

14:07 Ednaswap I've had a couple get stupid if I launched them down the stairs.

14:10 That's why I got expelled.

14:11 Drew Oh, some stuff was doing.

14:13 Adam There's a little butch. Are you a... Wait, wait, wait, Stephen. Something's up with Stephen. What? Now, listen. Listen to me, Stephen, and all gay and gay sympathizers within the sound of my voice. There's nothing wrong with being gay. I was just on the phone with a good gay friend of mine tonight. Love the guy like a brother. I don't want to mention a guy's name as folks may flip out. I don't know if they're listening or not. The point is, is I love the gay man. You can quote me on that. These guys are, they run a tight ship, these gay men. They're clean guys.

14:47 Drew I think you are gay.

14:48 Adam They're very successful guys. You wish you were gay. I do.

14:51 Drew I know.

14:51 Adam I do. My girlfriend, she's a wonderful girl, but she's worthless. She can't fix anything.

14:58 Drew She's not a male.

14:59 Adam Yeah. A guy. But I can't watch sports with her all day. I don't know. Wait a minute. I hate sports. Yeah, yeah. No. I rethought that one. Gay men can't lie. It's not like they're going to go drop the transmission and fix a clutch or anything either. You're right. No, you know. All right. Now, Stephen, you're so but you're tough guy, right?

15:19 Ednaswap Yeah.

15:19 Adam And the guys make funny at school, you beat them up.

15:22 Ednaswap Pretty much.

15:23 Adam Why did you tell? Why did you tell people that you were gay?

15:27 Ednaswap I just don't hide it.

15:29 I mean, people catch on to it and if they say something they can handle it, I wouldn't necessarily tell them not to.

15:34 Drew You can handle it. But he's got a little further than highly. He wants to provoke something.

15:38 Ednaswap Yeah, but no, no, I never hit first.

15:41 Drew It doesn't sound like you're certainly not devastated by the provocation.

15:46 Adam Let's look at it this way, Stephen. And I'm playing devil's advocate here, but you told your parents, which I always question, anyone telling their parents anything, by the way. Huh?

16:00 Ednaswap I did not tell my parents. My cousin told them.

16:02 Adam Oh, the cousin ran in them out.

16:03 Drew What are you digging for with him? Steve is fine.

16:06 Adam I'm just getting a little nervous at least.

16:09 Drew I know, but you're only digging at him. If he were not your heterosexual, you wouldn't dig at him like this.

16:13 Adam I know.

16:13 Drew Okay. I don't get your point. My point is, he doesn't give you the feeling of somebody we normally dig at, even though he's got some stuff going on. Who the hell doesn't have 15? And he's gay, so you're going to dig.

16:23 Adam We're going to dig, yeah.

16:25 Drew Let him be.

16:25 Adam No, no, I'm not digging, Drew.

16:27 I don't mind.

16:28 Adam You like this. Yeah, see, Stephen likes it. That's why he told people at school. That's why he told his cousin.

16:34 No, she found a letter that I wrote to a friend.

16:36 Adam Uh-huh, that you left out.

16:38 Ednaswap No, I left in my book bag and she kind of went plundering. Yeah.

16:41 Drew All right, where are we going?

16:42 Adam All right, whatever, I'm done.

16:43 Drew Yeah, all right, Steve.

16:44 Adam What was this question?

16:46 Drew You'll meet some more gay men. Get in touch with the Gay and Lesbian Youth Center. Most cities have them. That's where you'll meet more people.

16:51 There's one in Southeast DC and I'm not allowed in that part of town. Well.

16:54 Caller Why not?

16:55 Ednaswap I'm waiting off a town I like to target.

16:57 Drew But Stephen, all right, look, don't be unreasonable. Just find ways to get some support and development.

17:03 Adam Maybe they'll worship you because you're the only white person.

17:05 Drew A network of peers.

17:06 Adam That could happen. You ever see those Tarzan movies?

17:09 Drew We're all so sober. Stephen, thank you for your call.

17:11 Adam All right.

17:12 Drew I had a good night's sleep last night. I had a rest tonight.

17:15 Adam I was...

17:15 Drew Tonight is totally different than last night, isn't it?

17:17 Adam No, it's fine.

17:18 Drew But I mean, but it's better if it's different. You know what I mean?

17:20 Adam It's a little different.

17:21 Drew Last night was positively weird.

17:23 Adam My ears are ringing because I ate too much taffy today. I opened a box of taffy and I've been chewing on it like a horse all day. It screwed my jaw. Sons of bitches, I should sue that taffy company. I think they're over in England. Listen, I don't have any problem with gays. I just, Stephen struck me as he was looking for something. Looking for a little confrontational or something.

17:48 Drew There's something going on. Not histrionic, but he has to sort of, dramatic. He's got a flair for the dramatic. But it's not a histrionic dramatic. It's sort of like an aggressive, you know, yeah. It's a lot.

18:00 Adam Okay. His mom was fine. Except for his crying. Morgana.

18:05 Caller Hi.

18:07 Adam We got to start right now and all that. We have to keep like a Loveline list of people backbeddling. Or sort of, what would you call it? You know, things like, how was your mom? Oh, fine. Fine, fine. Oh, she cried. Fine.

18:27 Drew She saw your eyes out for three days. She was great, though. No problem.

18:31 Adam I want to keep a list of that. How funny would that be?

18:34 Drew Oh, we got to do that. I love that.

18:37 Adam Any alcoholism in the family? No, none. Not at all. Both my parents. Oh, yeah. All right. Morgana?

18:46 Yeah.

18:46 Adam Hey, you're 21.

18:47 Caller Right. I have a couple of questions. Well, first, I want to say, Adam, I think you would make a really good dad. I don't know why.

18:53 Adam Oh, yes. That's right, baby. I'd give you a nice spanking if you were naughty.

18:59 Drew All right.

19:00 Caller My question is, well, first of all, I'm a virgin, and I've never had any boyfriends, and I'm not really sure that I interact well with guys. I just don't... I get real nervous, I guess.

19:09 Drew All right. Right now, you are doing fine. What's different about this?

19:13 Caller My heart is racing, actually.

19:14 Drew Yeah, but you're doing fine. Is this a different... Is this how you interact with guys, or is this something different because it's telephone and anonymous and that kind of thing?

19:22 Caller It could be that. I know that when I visited one of my friends in another town, I was a lot more footages than I usually am.

19:29 Drew Did you go to... Would you finish college now?

19:32 Caller I'm in college right now.

19:33 Drew And is it a big school?

19:35 Caller Yeah, it's University of Maryland at Chooch.

19:37 Drew Do you have a lot of friends?

19:38 Caller I have a few close friends, but I don't have a big group of friends. I've always been like that.

19:44 Adam What do you look like?

19:46 Caller I know I'm actually real confident about what I look like.

19:49 Adam Oh, you are?

19:49 Caller Yeah.

19:50 Adam That's funny. People call the show and they're nervous and they say their hearts are beating like rabbits and I got to give Drew smelling salts just to lure them back to the microphone. It's great. Interesting little juxtaposition there. All right, so...

20:03 Drew I've been sitting on that phone for 15 years, though.

20:05 Adam You're good looking. You're religious? No, no. All right. And what is it? Where's your dad? My dad.

20:13 Drew Wait a minute. Shush. Shush.

20:16 Adam What are you talking about? She's a virgin. She never had a boyfriend. She's nice looking. How does it feel to talk to her? She says she's got a weird... She feels sane.

20:23 Drew Yeah.

20:24 Adam She feels sane.

20:24 Drew All right, so think more in terms of her socialization. What kind of things happened to her when she was...

20:29 Adam Does anyone feel you up at camp?

20:31 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no. Does somebody hurt you? Do you have a boyfriend that didn't go well?

20:34 Caller No, that's a thing. I've never had a boyfriend. I mean, I've only kissed three guys. It's not like I've had a lot of experience, period. I just haven't. I've never had a boyfriend.

20:42 Adam What base have you gotten to?

20:44 Caller I've only kissed guys. Really?

20:47 I'm talking to a 14-year-old.

20:48 You're like the keeper.

20:49 Adam 21? No mileage.

20:52 Caller No.

20:52 Adam Like a pair of socks that have never been worn.

20:55 Drew What's your family life like?

20:57 Caller Actually my mom has problems, but my dad is great. We would, I think from the exterior, look like a perfect family.

21:03 Drew Are you the only child?

21:04 Caller No, I've got two brothers.

21:06 Drew What's wrong with your mom?

21:08 Caller She just is really, I think, emotionally unstable. I don't know really how I would diagnose her, but she's definitely an emotionally unstable person.

21:16 Adam Which brother did you say molested you?

21:18 Caller Neither. I don't know.

21:19 Drew Do the brothers have relationships?

21:21 Caller I'm sorry?

21:22 Drew Do the brothers have relationships with girls?

21:24 Caller Actually my older brother, May, I remember when I visited him a couple months ago.

21:29 Adam Gay.

21:30 Caller He seemed to have, no he's not gay, but he lives in San Francisco.

21:34 Adam Okay, so he's a spy.

21:36 Caller He seemed to have some problems with girls.

21:39 Adam Alright. Morgana, we're going to flip over all the cards because we don't have an answer.

21:44 Drew Well, I mean, it could be.

21:45 Adam And we got to go to Bright.

21:46 Drew Too tight, you know, over dependent family system where it could be just she hasn't developed the skills.

21:50 Adam Here's my answer to everybody who tells us they have a problem and then have no history. Yeah, parents are fine, never molested, never raped, everything's good, I'm a good student now, there's no physical, I have all my arms, I don't have diabetes, anything like that.

22:03 Drew I don't have a relationship.

22:04 Adam All right, good. Get off your ass and go do something.

22:08 Drew Sometimes it is just that.

22:09 Adam That's what it is. All right, now, Ednaswap's going to be in here playing Torn Live, the real version of Torn. And Drew, you'll know this song.

22:19 Drew Really?

22:19 Adam Yes.

22:19 Drew You and I?

22:20 Adam Yes, and you'll really enjoy it. So stick around for this.

22:23 Caller Loveline be right back in a minute. WEBN.

22:38 Caller Oh, yeah, right there.

22:39 Caller It's Loveline on WEBN.

22:51 Adam All right, it is Loveline, phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Jonathan Silverman is going to be in here on Sunday, then Todd McCormick, Drew's friend, the pot farmer. The guy had like a billion pot plants in his Beverly Hills mansion. And then we'll go party with him after the show. And then West Side Connection will be in here, and then John Taylor from Duran Duran and the Neurotic Outsiders and whatever else he has to plug. We'll be in here at the end of the week. Tonight it's Ednaswap. Now I'll tell you what, the guys and gals are all set up, perched behind their instruments. So I'm not going to try to talk to them just yet, but you know this song and these guys are the original writers of this song and it's called Torn. And guys, you want to just take it away? Ah, that would be torn. You know what? There'd be more than two people clapping here if there were more than two people clapping here. Ednaswap. Torn, yeah. Hey, do my least favorite MC maneuver. Hey, give yourselves a hand. It's like, hey, F you. I clap for myself at home. I need to come out here. We're going to break? All right. Really? Well, I think Anne just yelled that in my ear, but I think it's about right. Yeah, because everyone's standing around. We got to get people positioned and all that. So that was Ednaswap. They did Torn. They did The Original and Natalie Mbruka. I don't know her last name, but she copied it and it's making its way around the pop station. You're not hip to that at all, Drew. And Anne actually asked Natalie to come on the show. And she said she wanted to hear some tapes of the show to see if she wanted to come on. And I remarked she's going to be sitting in a bar a year from now next to Kim Karns. And they're going to be crying into their beer. Please listen to tapes of this show, for Christ's sake. Drew almost fell off the console, he's so pissed off. All right, we'll let Drew get his self together. And we'll let the band get themselves together and we'll be right back. Hey, this is the last song that was played live in here, I believe. Wasn't it, Mike? Semi-sonic? Yeah. It sounded good, but not as good as Ednaswap. Damn straight. You just heard him sing Torn, and they're going to sing something else off of, I guess, Wacko Magneto, right?

29:53 Ednaswap Actually, no, we're going to do a new song.

29:54 Adam Oh, you are?

29:55 Ednaswap A record that's coming out this summer.

29:56 Adam In August.

29:57 Ednaswap Just for, because that's what we want to do and it would be more fun for us.

30:00 Adam Ann Scott and Rusty are all in here and Kelly is not in here. All right. I just want to straighten that out. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Drew is going to walk in here in just one second.

30:16 Ednaswap Did you go to the toilet?

30:17 Adam I know. I brought the TV pilot in for him to watch and he couldn't really watch much of it, but there's one segment where there's monkeys farting.

30:25 Ednaswap And he loves it.

30:27 Adam I love it and I want to share my love of it with Drew. So he's in the next room taking a look, but I think he should be about done. So let's, I know you've answered this question a thousand million times and all that. And I know the whole, the whole, the whole thing. Drew, that's good TV, isn't it? Those monkeys shooting flames out of their ass. I don't want to give too much away, but the monkeys, they lit the farts. That was really the exciting part. Like I said, here's a problem with being...

30:58 Drew I've never sat by myself and cried laughing so hard.

31:01 Adam Oh, good.

31:01 I'm glad you enjoyed the monkeys.

31:04 Drew It's a guy thing. It really is a guy thing.

31:05 Adam I think girls can enjoy monkey farting. Behold!

31:11 Caller What do you think, Ann?

31:12 Drew The real humor in it is how much... You're not really sure it's monkeys or humans doing this.

31:18 Adam Let me tell you the real humor. That cost 20 grand to get those monkeys to do that. That's cheap. Let's talk about Ednaswap for just a second here. Let me just preface this by saying, I know you guys answer this question all the time and all that, but people who are listening want to know, and I feel sort of stupid because it's like one of those, where'd you get the name questions or the band get the name. But as far as I can tell, how long ago did you guys write Torn? Was that a few years ago?

31:56 Ednaswap Yeah.

31:57 Adam In what, and you recorded it?

32:00 Ednaswap Yeah, we recorded it for our album that came out in 95.

32:03 Adam Which was not Whack-O-Magneto?

32:05 Ednaswap No, that was on a different record label.

32:07 Adam That was the one before Whack-O-Magneto. And it came out, and did it get some spins? It came out on the album?

32:14 Ednaswap Yeah, it came out on the album.

32:15 Caller They chose a different single. The album came out, but it was in the stores, but, I don't know, Electra, whatever.

32:22 Adam They chose another single off the album to push, and they didn't push that one. Oh, the genius of the record industry. Yeah, because it's a really good song. And then, so some years went by, and Natalie Imbrilico, Imbrulia. Natalie Imbrulia gets hold of the song. How does she get hold of it?

32:43 Ednaswap Well, we think she might have been forging around in our garbage, but we're not really sure.

32:48 Adam But she finds it. Somebody turns her on to it. And she says, hey, this is a great song.

32:53 Ednaswap I guess, yeah.

32:54 Adam And she remakes it and then starts selling it, right? Now, you guys are in for a taste of the profits, though, right?

33:02 Ednaswap But I want to make something very clear. We didn't sell the song to her. People think we did like some drug deal with her, like negotiated a price and sold it to her. And it doesn't work that way. They sort of, if a song's been recorded once, anybody can record it second, third, fourth, fifth time. At that point, it's like everybody, it's a fair game.

33:19 Adam Right.

33:20 Ednaswap So.

33:21 Adam But I guess my question is, is you guys put it out and it sort of came and went. I mean, it was probably a couple years old. They probably weren't thinking about it that much. She goes, gets it, sort of makes it hers, resurrects it a bit. Now you guys get some money off that and now you guys come out and do it too. So is it a bad thing that she did that?

33:43 Ednaswap Well, I don't know if I would say it was a bad thing. It's weird to have somebody else do your song when it's your song. You feel like it's sort of your song.

33:52 Adam But I mean, sort of, maybe artistically it's a bitch, but financially it's not so bad, right?

33:58 Ednaswap You get like a couple bus loads of cash in the year 2002.

34:03 Adam Right, because it takes a little while?

34:05 Ednaswap Yeah.

34:05 Adam And how does that, and by the way, her version of it doesn't quite have the soul and it's much more poppy, but I don't feel that she destroyed it. She just sort of made a slightly more sanitized version of it. But perky. Do you get, do you, have you ever spoken to her?

34:28 Ednaswap No, never.

34:30 Adam And she's not.

34:31 Ednaswap She hasn't called me up or called us up.

34:33 Adam I think they would.

34:34 Ednaswap Say thank you. All right.

34:35 Adam And do you, how much money do you get off something like this? I know you don't know.

34:39 Seven or eight million dollars. Really?

34:43 Adam What are the laws? Do you get a certain percentage?

34:46 Ednaswap She doesn't decide, put it that way.

34:48 Adam Right.

34:48 Ednaswap It's, you get, you know, you get airplay money. I don't know, it's royalties. And no one on the planet can tell you how much money you actually make.

34:55 Adam Right.

34:55 Ednaswap Because it's some bizarre extrapolation from, I don't know how it works.

34:58 Adam Well, it would seem to me that you should get a piece of every one of those that she sells. But if it's on an album, then how do you know what percentage that is of the album or that helped it, helped it sell the album?

35:10 Ednaswap I don't know, but we could call our lawyer right now. We could get him on the phone.

35:12 Drew I'm sure that's been thought out, Adam.

35:14 Adam It has been.

35:14 Drew I'm sure it has.

35:15 Ednaswap It's all figured out.

35:16 Adam Yeah. Well, it's interesting because there's like, there may be another 12 songs on the album.

35:20 Ednaswap Oh, sorry.

35:21 Adam You know what I'm saying? Shut up, Drew. Oh, please.

35:24 Ednaswap Drew's bored.

35:26 Adam Well, Drew, just because you don't know what the hell's going on. This Natalie Imbrolica, they play her video all the time on TV.

35:33 Caller JPL knows all the answers.

35:35 Adam All right. All right, we'll move on. New album's coming out, August.

35:39 Ednaswap Yes.

35:40 Adam All right. You have a name for it?

35:41 Ednaswap Yeah, it's called Liquid Soul.

35:42 Adam All right, so you can look for that. And so can Natalie.

35:46 Caller Don't work too hard yet, because it's not out yet.

35:48 Adam Right, August. Alexis?

35:50 Yes.

35:50 Adam You're 23.

35:51 Caller Yeah, hi.

35:52 Adam What's going on?

35:53 Caller Well, on your show a while ago, a caller was talking about birth control pills that make you horny.

35:59 Drew Well, that may be, it's not so much they do that, is that they don't. May not be as apt to steal your sex drive.

36:07 Caller Well, my question is, see, I'm on Zoloft and I don't have much of a sex drive anymore.

36:12 Drew Because of the Zoloft?

36:14 Caller I'm sorry, what?

36:14 Drew Because of the Zoloft.

36:16 Caller Yes, because of the Zoloft. I was wondering if I were to go on those pills, could it have my sex drive come back?

36:22 Drew Probably not.

36:23 Caller Okay.

36:24 Drew Okay.

36:24 Adam Why not?

36:25 Drew The serotonin reuptake inhibitors commonly cause a drop in sex drive. In fact, with medications like Prozac and Paxil, which are sort of more potent serotonin drugs, people feel like sex doesn't even make sense. It's like, what is that? Is it you're having that whole thing?

36:40 Adam I feel that same way, but it's only after I orgasm. And then I feel really dirty and cheap and, oh, that was a waste of time. What am I doing in this motel?

36:47 Drew According to terms, the term called sexlessness, where it just sex just doesn't even exist for you.

36:53 Adam But are you missing it at that point?

36:55 Drew Yeah, people do. If it's in a relationship, then it can be a source of...

37:00 Adam Well, somebody's pissed, but isn't it kind of like not being hungry?

37:04 Drew Well, yes.

37:04 Adam I mean, you don't think about food, you're not interested?

37:06 Drew When you're trying to recover from a depression, intimacy is an important thing, and to the extent the physicality is part of that, people miss it. And I'll tell you what, there's really several choices, but two common ones. One is to change the medication called Serizone, which is in the same class, but less likely to cause this side effect, or to add a medication called Wellbutrin, which actually by itself would sometimes enhance the sex drive, but it's thought to reverse some of this side effect when it's taken with a medication like Zoloft. You're taking very low doses. And it really, this is a brain chemical thing, it's not a hormone thing, so the change in the birth control pills doesn't change it that much.

37:42 Adam All right, Alexis?

37:43 Yeah. Okay.

37:44 Adam Hey, Drew, what about the Spanish Fly? I used to hear about that.

37:48 Drew Now we have one, it's called Viagra.

37:49 Ednaswap Yeah, Viagra. I say it works for women too. Yeah.

37:52 Drew I read that literature, it's very strange.

37:54 Adam And you don't need any though, do you?

37:55 Ednaswap No.

37:56 Adam No. You're a very passionate woman. I can see that. And just sort of oozes the sexuality. And I think she could ooze on just about anyone. I really do.

38:07 That's nice.

38:09 Adam I didn't want to say gosh.

38:10 Caller Get your hands out of there.

38:12 Ednaswap Yeah.

38:12 Adam That's more of an ooze. All right. Hey Andy, you went to Harvard?

38:17 Ednaswap I did.

38:18 Adam Drew loves school.

38:19 Ednaswap He does. You can tell.

38:20 Adam Yeah. Wow.

38:21 Ednaswap Glasses.

38:22 Adam Oh, you didn't finish Harvard?

38:24 Ednaswap I did finish Harvard.

38:25 Adam You did?

38:25 Ednaswap Yeah. Down the street.

38:27 Adam Did they have a junior college over there? No. It was real? Four years?

38:29 Ednaswap High school. No.

38:31 Adam Yeah, they do have.

38:31 Ednaswap Yeah, I did four years.

38:32 Adam Wow. What was your major?

38:34 Ednaswap Neuropsychology.

38:35 Adam Wow.

38:36 Drew She knows all about this stuff.

38:37 Adam All right. So you know about the serotonin reuptake and inhibitors and all that, right?

38:41 Ednaswap Well, you know.

38:41 Adam All right. Let's jump in.

38:42 Ednaswap Oh, sure.

38:43 Adam Did you ever see a monkey brain?

38:45 Ednaswap No, but I'd like to see a monkey fart.

38:46 Adam All right.

38:47 Drew What? Well, I'm so embarrassed myself for crying.

38:51 Adam During the commercial, we can go watch a monkey fart.

38:53 Drew All right. I'm telling you something. Women will not... I just have a sense that it's not going to be funny to them.

38:57 Adam And well. And she's a Harvard-educated woman.

39:01 Ednaswap I haven't ever found farts that funny.

39:03 Adam See? I know.

39:04 Drew Women are not... Don't think that's funny.

39:05 Ednaswap I don't think I've ever seen a monkey fart.

39:06 Adam Producer Anne got a charge out of the monkey fart. Dave? You're 28.

39:12 Caller That's right.

39:12 Adam You're on with Ednaswap.

39:14 Caller How you doing?

39:15 Adam Good.

39:15 Ednaswap Thank you.

39:16 Adam Groovy.

39:17 Caller My big problem is my wife cheated on me. And we got back together and I forgave her. And now she's pregnant. It is mine. It's four months after the fact. And I know for a fact it's mine. How? And the thing is, I obsess about it. I mean, I made a mistake of finding out intimate details. And I thought they went to a hotel. And every time I drive by a hotel, the pain comes out.

39:42 Drew Yeah. Men don't need to dig for those details. Honest to God.

39:46 People do that to themselves.

39:47 Adam I'll tell you, this starts early when your baby teeth are coming out, your permanent teeth are coming in, and you got one that hurts and it's loose, but you can't keep your tongue off it. And you got to fiddle with it. And you got to jiggle with it. And you can't keep away from it. It starts early with the teeth, and it ends up in relationships later. Somebody, you have to have all the gory details of... Hey, sometimes it's not even, you know, cheating or anything. It's just your partner's last partner.

40:16 Ednaswap Where's the guy? Where's the other guy?

40:19 Caller He is, strangely enough, he is friends with my baby. I have another kid, and he is friends with my baby's godmother, and the godmother sees him all the time at work, every day.

40:30 Drew Adam, alert your man. Alert your man.

40:34 Adam This, now how did, how did this guy, is that my general collection squad?

40:39 Drew Yeah.

40:40 Adam Um, what, uh, Dave?

40:42 Caller Yep.

40:43 Adam Well, why did, how long have you been with your wife?

40:46 Caller Um, three years.

40:47 Adam Three years. And she, she was cheating, uh, two and a half years into it?

40:52 Caller Yep, it was a one night stand kind of thing.

40:54 Drew And what, what was going on in your relationship? Women don't, unless they have some sort of issues, they're acting out, usually don't cheat unless...

41:02 Adam They don't cheat for the same reasons guys do.

41:04 Drew No, yeah, they cheat for different reasons. They usually, it's because they're not getting their emotional needs met in the relationship.

41:09 Caller Yeah, I think that's a, that's a pretty safe call that she wasn't. I used, we were having some problems and...

41:15 Drew What was going on?

41:16 Caller Oh, um, we were having financial problems and such.

41:21 Drew So you were, you were not available to her in a way that she felt she needed you to be?

41:26 Caller Yeah, because I was working myself to death, trying to make a better life for her and our daughter.

41:31 Drew Yeah, forget all the martyrdom.

41:33 Adam Were you flogging yourself as you were working?

41:37 Caller I was, um, I was working and she was working and going to school at the same time and I never got to see her.

41:44 Drew All right, so why don't you guys, on behalf of the child, and you said you had another child also?

41:48 Caller Yeah, she is three months pregnant.

41:50 Drew No, didn't you say there was a...

41:51 Caller Yep, there is. We have a two-and-a-half-year-old.

41:54 Drew With this same woman?

41:55 Caller Yeah.

41:56 Drew On behalf of your children.

41:57 Adam The way he worded it, it was if it was a different relationship.

42:01 Drew Yeah, I thought so, too.

42:01 Adam Dave?

42:02 Drew Yeah?

42:02 Adam Same relationship?

42:04 Drew Yep. On behalf of your children, word on this relationship, please.

42:08 Caller I want to. I'm just trying to find out how to get over it. I want to stay with this woman. I love her. I just, it's like beating my, it's like the tooth, you said. I keep on thinking about it. It's right there.

42:17 Ednaswap It's like a movie that's out now, Mr. Jelison.

42:21 Adam It's, it's, it's not one of these things you can talk yourself out of, because while you're talking yourself out of it, you're thinking about it the entire time.

42:28 Drew Yeah, you have to gain some form of acceptance and you have to find whatever foundation this relationship was built on in the first place and focus on that, really build on the positive. And if you are feeling so destroyed by this, it has more to do with you and your own feelings about yourself and your worth than it does to do with her and what she's... Well, if they...

42:49 Caller Think about baseball.

42:50 Drew Yeah, if they would see... I think it would be a great idea if they want to see a couple's therapist. That's a great idea, but I don't think they would. Just commit yourself to this relationship on behalf of your children. They need you, both of you.

43:00 Adam And listen, it's one of these things too that just time will heal it. That's it. It's really hard to expedite this process.

43:10 Ednaswap Once it's been lost like that, though.

43:11 Drew But it's not impossible.

43:13 Adam No, it's just, let me tell you, it's weird this stuff that at the beginning of a relationship, Drew, you'll testify, at the beginning of a relationship, there's stuff that really can bug you. And then a couple of years into it, it's like, it's sort of just a memory. Right. You know what I mean?

43:29 Drew Especially, I have, when you, when two of you bond together to have a life, you know, a family.

43:36 Adam Right.

43:36 Drew There's a lot of stuff you need to sort of incorporate into your thinking about what you will or will not let bother you.

43:42 Adam Right.

43:43 Drew About your own happiness, the other person's happiness, what you will or will not subjugate on behalf of the health of the family.

43:49 Adam Jennifer.

43:50 Yes.

43:50 Adam You're 22.

43:51 Caller Yes.

43:51 Adam You're on with Ednaswap.

43:54 Caller Hi.

43:55 Drew That's funny.

43:55 Caller Hello.

43:55 Ednaswap So is our name that funny?

43:57 Adam I don't know, I think it's a really cool name. It just sounds good.

44:00 Ednaswap Thank you, Adam.

44:01 It sort of rolls off the tongue.

44:03 Adam Yeah, it does. Ednaswap. Ednaswap. Jennifer.

44:08 Caller Yeah.

44:08 Drew Go right ahead.

44:11 Caller I think I have, I crashed on one of my professors. It's a woman.

44:17 Drew Have you been attracted to women in the past?

44:20 Caller Sort of.

44:21 Drew Sort of.

44:22 Adam Hold on. A little bit. You're junior college?

44:25 Caller No, I'm graduating.

44:27 Adam Where are you graduating? Northridge?

44:30 Caller No.

44:31 Adam What college?

44:32 Caller I'd rather not say.

44:33 Adam State school.

44:36 Top secret.

44:38 Adam I have my little spidey sense.

44:39 Ednaswap I think I can tell what dorm she's calling from.

44:41 Adam It was, what state are you calling from, Jennifer?

44:45 Caller California.

44:46 Adam Okay. Yeah. Northridge.

44:48 Caller Okay.

44:49 Adam Am I right?

44:51 Ednaswap The scent of Northridge.

44:52 Adam I didn't smell the UC system, of course, into her veins. I smell state school there.

44:57 Drew But I'm thinking Northern California, though.

44:58 Adam No, no. She was at Northridge. Right, Jennifer?

45:01 Caller Sure.

45:02 Adam Yes. Yeah, she is.

45:04 Ednaswap Does your professor have a crush on you, too?

45:06 Caller I, no.

45:07 Drew Well, tell us about your history with women. What's the deal there?

45:11 Caller Well, I've had lots of boyfriends, but sometimes I, I like women, also.

45:17 Drew Okay.

45:19 Adam Have you? Drew, ask the question again.

45:21 Drew Let's read that.

45:22 Caller I know what he knows.

45:22 Drew Put the band on some bit.

45:23 Adam Oh, really? She's, we haven't gambled in like a week and a half on this show. Wait, you get a feeling? You do?

45:30 Caller Yeah.

45:30 Ednaswap I got the same feeling.

45:31 Caller All right.

45:31 Adam Hold on a second. You know, and Ann over here is, she said she's cynical. She's like played catch with brains and stuff. You were, what kind of?

45:44 Ednaswap Neuropsychology.

45:45 Adam Neuropsychology. Yeah. So she may have a, she may have a.

45:49 Ednaswap Inside detector.

45:50 Adam Right.

45:51 Ednaswap All right.

45:51 Adam I don't know. It's a little nervous. All right. I think we can gamble though. What's that?

45:55 Drew What line was she on?

45:56 Adam What did she hang on? No, put her on hold.

45:57 Drew There she is. Okay.

45:58 Adam Yeah. All right. Here's what we do on this show. We haven't done it in a million years, but we would like to do it. And it's just sort of organic. When it hits us, it hits us. Everyone's got to get a dollar out first off. Ooh, look at me, Drew. Nothing but twenties. Look at me.

46:12 Drew That means I have to pay your way.

46:13 Caller Yeah.

46:14 Adam When we have a call that we get a little feeling about, and this isn't necessarily on paper the greatest example of that feeling, but when we hear stories and we get feelings, we like to gamble on people's pasts. What is it that brought them to where they are today? Not what happened when they were a junior in high school, but what kind of family? Alcoholism? Any molestation there? Perhaps a...

46:38 Ednaswap Cheery little game.

46:40 Adam Your bet can be nothing, but your bet can be she came from a perfectly organized family with no problems.

46:46 Ednaswap This is not a bet about whether or not the call is real?

46:48 Drew No.

46:49 Adam No.

46:49 Drew The point of the game is to, A, first of all, get around people's defenses, because our call is that way of going, yes, this happened, but it has nothing to do with what's going on. So before they have a chance to say that, we want to point out how easy it is to predict how behaviors in the present are affected by things that happened in the past. They don't have to tell us. We know what happened.

47:07 Caller So nurture, forget nature, right?

47:09 Adam Right, we're thinking nurture. We're going to go to break, and we'll come back with some gambling with Ednaswap.

47:15 I feel so liquidy, really, why?

47:22 Caller Loveline will be right back.

47:24 W-E-B-N.

47:34 Caller We're not keeping you up, are we?

47:36 I'm pitching a tent.

47:37 Caller Oh, that's good. It's Loveline.

47:42 WGBN.

47:58 Adam I love that song.

48:00 Caller Oh, yes.

48:01 Adam Thank you, Ann. That's that Harvey Danger. They're in here on Monday. Hey, this is like one of those kids. This is like Gary Glitter. It's like an anthem song here. I bet you're playing a basketball arena at this part. The guy's got pissed when I told him that, you know? I'll tell you, there's nothing a band hates more than when you tell them what their music sounds like. They're pissed. You tell them it's the best goddamn thing they've ever heard in their life, they're pissed. You tell them, well, it sort of sounds. Here's what you can't do to a band. I'm not going to make this mistake with Ednaswap. You cannot tell them that their music sounds like this or that, even if you do, but I understand.

48:44 Ednaswap How would you feel if someone was like, yeah, your vibe is kind of exactly like a song?

48:48 Adam If it was, now see, I never use one person, though, you see. If you use one person, it's kind of insulting. Yeah, if you say, you guys sound a little like T-Rex, Meats, Joe Jackson, Meats, there's no, no bizarre dinosaur references, please. If you can take like four or five good bands and combine them, then people sort of chill out a little bit because like, oh, I guess Led Zeppelin meets The Beatles, meets the Brady Bunch, meets The Who. Meets The Who, right. So why do you guys wear blue?

49:24 Caller Why do you guys both wear blue? Accident.

49:25 Adam It is.

49:26 Caller That's a color coding.

49:27 Ednaswap Hostile gown.

49:28 Adam No, we're doing a blue screen thing where we both fly.

49:31 Caller Disappear.

49:31 Adam During the show. All right, Ednaswap is the band, and Ann Scott and Rusty are all in here. Wait a minute, that is Rusty? Yeah, okay, sorry. And we're doing a little gambling.

49:43 Drew I'm talking to Jennifer.

49:44 Adam On Jennifer. Now, she has a crush on her professor and she's 22 and, oh, sorry, engineer Mike.

49:52 Drew Oh, you didn't do the break?

49:53 Adam That's twice this week I did this. Oh, shut up, Drew, you don't do anything here. You're gay. All right, we'll be back in 10 seconds, then we'll gamble.

50:06 Caller We're the G-spot on your radio dial. Oh, you're right there. Loveline on 1027.

50:13 WEB.

50:16 Adam Hey, it is Loveline.

50:18 Drew Don't mind us.

50:19 Adam Ednaswap is the band tonight. Edna played Torn. I just called you guys Edna, by the way. Edna played Torn a little earlier and they're going to play something else a little bit later on tonight. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. So, we're speaking to Jennifer and Jennifer, 22, with a couple of guys, never been with a girl, didn't really answer that.

50:43 Drew Likes girls, likes girls, likes guys, had a lot of boyfriends.

50:46 Ednaswap It's called bisexual.

50:47 Adam Alright, had a lot of boyfriends?

50:49 Drew Yeah.

50:49 Adam Okay.

50:50 Drew That's when I decided to bet.

50:52 Adam Right.

50:52 Drew Okay.

50:53 Adam And what was the question you asked Dr. Drew about her relationships with women?

50:58 Drew Just tell us about them.

50:59 Adam Well, I've been with a lot of boys. All right. So, Drew, would you like to start since you have a strong friend? No, I want to finish.

51:06 Drew I want to finish.

51:07 Adam You don't?

51:07 Drew Because I'm going to try to get it.

51:09 Caller You want to start to slam down?

51:11 Drew I want to chisel down. You can see what other people are saying, chisel down to roll down.

51:13 Ednaswap Yeah, no, I'd like to wait too.

51:14 Adam Scott? Oh, please. Come on.

51:16 Ednaswap I'm only kidding. I'll go.

51:17 Adam Yeah. And you go.

51:19 Ednaswap I mean, I'm not going to be that specific, but I would say that maybe she had some sort of absentee mother, some sort of issue with her mother. Her mother wasn't there. Her mother didn't give her all the love and affection she needed.

51:33 Adam Absentee mother.

51:33 Ednaswap She's trying to replace her mom.

51:35 Adam Oh, interesting.

51:36 Drew To want me to die or something.

51:37 Adam Becoming a little cathartic. Oh, yes. It's great. Everyone just goes to their own crap. I think she had a Pop Warner football coach who pulled her aside and felt her out of the bathroom when he was, I mean, she was... All right, so, Ann is going with a mom that was distant and not empathic. Right. You could almost make that argument. You make that argument a lot of moms. I'm just playing devil's advocate here. We could coerce that answer out of most our listeners.

52:14 Ednaswap Well, yeah, I mean, I could specify, but then I might be wrong. I might lose the money.

52:17 Adam All right. Rusty? No response to that?

52:21 Caller Yeah, I have to go in the butt, Bob. No. I would have to say the opposite. I would say her father was having affairs, a lot of affairs.

52:32 Adam That's strong.

52:33 Caller Wow. And basically that she has issues with her dad. Okay.

52:38 Adam Very strong. Very strong. Scott? Interesting.

52:42 Rusty, what are you going to do? I feel maybe some kind of a molestation.

52:50 Ednaswap From man or woman?

52:52 From a man.

52:54 Adam Inside the family or outside?

52:55 Inside the family.

52:56 Ednaswap Okay.

52:58 Adam Inside the family.

52:58 She's from the midwest.

53:00 Adam This is good. Ben, without a thing, dad, can I just go alcoholic, dad? Can I go simple like that?

53:06 Not for dogs.

53:07 Adam Oh, that's so easy.

53:08 You need to be a little more specific.

53:09 Drew What kind of alcohol?

53:10 Adam I'm going dad. I'm going trouble with dad. I'm going alcohol, absentee dad. Not around.

53:16 Drew I'm going to go alcohol.

53:18 Adam Emotionally.

53:20 Drew Alcoholic, violent dad.

53:21 Adam Oh, violent?

53:22 Drew Who's not necessarily directed towards her, but mom. And she saw this. She did some experimentation around the age of eight with another female that she'll look at as just experimentation, but it was maybe something more.

53:33 Caller OK.

53:34 Ednaswap Wow, is this your daughter, Colleen?

53:35 Adam Jennifer, you're 22. What's going on there?

53:39 Caller I think I have a criss on my brother.

53:42 Adam Who's right?

53:43 Caller Oh, I don't even know who's right.

53:45 Adam I heard the gambling. Well, forget about who's right. What went on in your past?

53:49 Caller My parents are wonderful. I have a very wonderful family. The only thing I had some trouble with is my brother, who I fought with a lot. But I did have a lot of experimentation with my best friend when I was in elementary school.

54:03 Adam Oh, girl. Oh.

54:05 Caller Like it's a big bucks.

54:07 Adam How old were you when?

54:09 Caller Oh, God, like third grade.

54:11 Adam Oh, eight years old, everybody.

54:14 Wow.

54:16 Ednaswap They don't call him doctor for nothing.

54:18 Adam No. Jesus Christ. How lucky can you get?

54:23 There's a plant.

54:24 Adam Oh, man. So your parents are still together? Yes.

54:28 Drew Dad doesn't drink, though, right?

54:29 Adam Here's a point where I try to extract about 50 cents out of my dollar. Dad doesn't drink?

54:34 Ednaswap No.

54:35 Adam Not at all.

54:35 Ednaswap Not a glass of wine with dinner?

54:37 Adam I love when people do that. He's never had rum cake before?

54:41 Caller How about mouthwash?

54:42 Adam Vicks 44 or Nyquil? Vicks is a really big cough. Okay. So, you know, that vapor up can be absorbed through the chest. That is a form of alcohol.

54:49 Drew But your dad doesn't have any medical problems or anything like that?

54:51 Caller No, none whatsoever.

54:52 Drew He works normally?

54:53 Caller My, I have grandparents. They're alcoholics, but.

54:57 That was my second guess. Both of them?

55:00 Caller Huh?

55:01 Ednaswap Both grandparents?

55:02 Drew Both sets?

55:02 Caller Yeah.

55:03 Drew Both sets of grandparents.

55:05 Adam And did mom or dad ever have a problem and then get off it? Are they in AA?

55:09 Caller No.

55:10 Adam No?

55:11 Caller No.

55:11 Adam They're not sober?

55:13 Caller They never had a problem.

55:14 Adam All right. So they have a beer once in a while, but it's no big deal.

55:17 Caller Right.

55:17 Adam Okay. Very, very interesting considering their parents are both alcoholics.

55:22 Caller Yes.

55:23 Adam And no.

55:24 Ednaswap What about you? Do you drink?

55:25 Caller Often.

55:27 Adam Oh, well, so it's skipped, skipped a gen. And, but it's nice to know that it's back. I was worried for a minute.

55:33 Drew Or skipped two gen in this case.

55:35 Adam Right. So, so parents are together, parents love each other. Mom and dad don't argue and mom and dad don't drink.

55:43 Caller Right.

55:43 Adam What's dad do for a living?

55:45 Caller He deals with computer software.

55:47 Adam Okay. And he loves you and he's been good to you.

55:49 Caller Yes, sir.

55:50 Adam And what's your brother do? What's it, what did he do to you?

55:54 Caller Actually, he was molested.

55:55 Adam By whom?

55:57 Caller Some people on the sports team.

56:00 Caller Wow.

56:00 Adam Wait a minute. I did yell that even though it was in jest.

56:05 Caller Wow.

56:05 Caller The coach, you said.

56:07 Drew I'm just wondering, here's what we're kind of struggling with, Jennifer, is why you and your brother would be made or be sort of sussed out to be good victim.

56:18 Adam Yeah, everything in the family is hunky dory, but your brother was molested and you were sort of...

56:23 Drew In ways I molested, yeah.

56:24 Ednaswap Well, how did your parents know your brother's molestation?

56:27 Caller They sued. Oh.

56:29 Adam And who, did the scouts win or did...

56:32 Caller They settled.

56:33 Adam They settled. How old was your brother?

56:35 Caller Ninth grade.

56:37 Adam Ninth grade? And you see now, well, wait a minute. I don't want to make it his fault, but ninth grade is almost old enough as a guy to raise a little stink. Just hear me out. I know this sounds cruel, but think back. I mean, when I was in ninth grade, I had a little pubic hair and I could kick someone in the nuts.

56:57 Ednaswap By members of another sports, of a sports team?

57:00 Adam I'm just saying.

57:01 Caller At least 12 of them.

57:02 Ednaswap Yeah, gang.

57:02 Adam 12 guys jumped on him?

57:04 Ednaswap Gang raped.

57:06 Drew Is that right?

57:06 Caller Almost, yes.

57:08 Caller What the hell happened with that?

57:09 Drew He must have been abused before that, too, right?

57:11 Caller It's gotta be Midwest.

57:12 Caller No.

57:12 Drew What happened before that?

57:14 Caller Nothing.

57:15 Drew Nothing you're aware of? All right, let's get back to trying to advise Jennifer for the present.

57:20 Adam Wait a minute.

57:20 Drew We're not gonna get-

57:21 Adam 12 guys jumped on the brother in the ninth grade? On his team?

57:26 Caller Yes.

57:27 Drew I'm surprised we didn't read about it in the paper.

57:28 Adam What sport was this?

57:30 Caller Football.

57:32 Adam One of these guys were in high school? Our Pop Warner team?

57:36 Caller High school.

57:37 Drew All right, look, it's painful for her. I know you're digging at this, but I don't know what we're going to get from her.

57:42 I played a little high school football.

57:43 Caller Yeah, I don't think it has anything to do with my problem.

57:45 Drew All right, but Jennifer, here's the deal. How old is the teacher?

57:50 Caller Late 30s.

57:51 Drew Are you any longer her student?

57:53 Caller No.

57:53 Drew Are you at the same institution?

57:55 Caller No.

57:55 Drew Do you have a social relationship with her?

57:57 Caller Yes.

57:58 Drew All right, does she know you're attracted?

57:59 Caller No.

58:00 Drew Why don't you, sort of, is she married or anything? Is there any reason to believe that she?

58:05 Caller She's married.

58:06 Drew Okay, and you suspect that she has same-sex feelings, that she's?

58:10 Caller No.

58:11 Drew All right, so this is just like having a crush on any other authority.

58:13 Adam Why don't you go after Marlon Brando or something, then, while you're at it?

58:16 Drew I mean, the reason, the reason.

58:18 Adam Just like me and Adrienne Barbeau, this is not going to happen.

58:20 Drew It sounds like you still have a lot of confusion about your identity and sexual identity, and you need to kind of work on that. It sounds like you've acted out with men as a way of trying to, sort of, deal with the victimization, which really is what you went through when you were younger. And you may need some treatment to get through this stuff. I don't know whether you're gay or a spy or what you are, but neither do you. And right now, an appropriate way to act on this ambivalence is not to become obsessed with unobtainable authority figures.

58:52 Adam All right. And, yeah, go, everybody who can hear me.

58:56 Ednaswap I guess it's harmless.

58:57 It is, but...

58:58 Drew Did Anna put one of these dollars in by the way?

59:00 Ednaswap I did.

59:01 Adam No, we all owe Ann a bunch of money. Give Ann...

59:04 Ednaswap Oh, thank you.

59:05 Adam Yeah, give her your dollar, too.

59:07 Ednaswap I was 100% wrong.

59:07 Drew I didn't put one in. There was only four in here.

59:09 Adam Oh, there was. All right. Remember when I said during the break, what you can do sometimes when you gamble this way is go for both parents were perfect on the off chance that the person will be in steeped in denial and you'll win?

59:23 Caller Playing with the house, right?

59:25 Adam Right. You sort of win by default because the person won't come clean. I should have come up with that. I should have played that hand.

59:31 You blew it.

59:32 Adam Yeah, because here's the deal with Jennifer. There's something going on. We could all hear it in her voice and there was more, way more than met the eye.

59:41 Caller She's a tough cookie.

59:42 Adam Loved both her parents. Her parents were very great yet she's lived a sort of life that's been a little bit suspect. There's been some stuff going on with her and her brother. And there's something going on.

59:52 Ednaswap She's drinking.

59:53 Adam There's more going on in that family than she was willing to admit. But yet, Drew nailed it and nailed the age. Age eight.

1:00:02 Ednaswap That's amazing.

1:00:03 Adam Age eight. Experimentation with same sex peer. Yep. That is scary. That is scary.

1:00:10 Caller Magician.

1:00:11 Adam Hold on. Drew, am I going to get laid this weekend? I got to rub Drew's forehead like the Magic 8 ball.

1:00:18 Caller Answer.

1:00:19 Adam Not probable. Yes, great one. Waylon.

1:00:25 Hey, how you doing?

1:00:25 Adam You're 21.

1:00:26 Caller Yep.

1:00:27 Adam Go ahead.

1:00:28 Caller I actually have a, I'd just like to say that Ednaswap's much better than the version that you hear on the radio. That's for sure.

1:00:34 Adam Thank you.

1:00:34 Smart man.

1:00:35 Adam Well, you can hear Ednaswap on the radio too if you're in the right town.

1:00:38 Caller Well, much better than the lady that sings it like the poppy kind of version, you know.

1:00:42 Yeah.

1:00:43 Adam Thank you.

1:00:44 Caller Any which way, besides that. I have a problem with my wife. She had a baby at the beginning of March and I'm sure it's a pretty common problem. She she just is totally uninterested in any type of sexual activity whatsoever. And it was pretty much we had better sex before she had the baby when she was still pregnant, like when she was like in her second trimester.

1:01:05 Drew Sure. That's a great joke.

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:08 Drew It seems like, you know, it was better third trimester is even the women are even more sometimes aroused. And she can do about it.

1:01:14 Caller She kind of stopped then. And I haven't, you know, we haven't been intimate in a good six or seven months.

1:01:20 Drew Is she depressed?

1:01:22 Caller No, she's always been like that. She's just never really been into sex. And I'm the total and complete opposite.

1:01:27 Drew So it was only during the pregnancy that she was aroused?

1:01:31 Caller Yeah, pretty much, because we've been together now a little over two years. And it just seems like she's just not a sexual person.

1:01:39 Drew And she's not on medication?

1:01:41 Caller No, she's not on medication. She, after the baby, she got on birth control. And I was listening to what you guys said before.

1:01:45 Drew That will help sometimes.

1:01:46 Caller Right.

1:01:46 Ednaswap What about Viagra?

1:01:48 Drew I don't know enough about it. I have to read about it, what it does for women. I'm not prepared to recommend it. It is a strange medication. It's a fascinating area. It just opened up all of a sudden about the physiology. We didn't know anything about it a couple of years ago. There's some side effects floating around.

1:02:04 Adam A good name for a sports car, the Viagra. You know, like a convertible, a shiny red Viagra.

1:02:10 Ednaswap For men, there's some side effects.

1:02:11 Adam I should go nuts for that.

1:02:12 Ednaswap Yeah, I have a very painful erection.

1:02:15 Drew That I haven't seen so much. I've prescribed, I mean, I'll be damned if the day it became released, people were actually in my waiting room demanding prescriptions.

1:02:22 Ednaswap Oh yeah, no, it's the fastest selling drug.

1:02:23 Adam I was in the neighborhood. I wanted to say hi, please.

1:02:25 Drew I didn't want to mention it, but how the 25 milligrams going. Anyway, I probably had about 30 prescriptions the first three or four days, and so I've seen a fair amount of what it does now, and it accumulates, and people start getting spontaneous erections when they don't want them, and then there's a blue, they can get a blue tinge to their vision, and there's maybe some cardiac stuff, so we really don't know yet all the long-term effects, and we don't know what it does to women. I mean, maybe it's going to turn the sexuality on for three months and turn it off forever thereafter. We just don't know. A lot more needs to be learned, I think.

1:02:54 Adam Right, so Waylon?

1:02:55 Caller Yeah.

1:02:56 Adam How did you get her pregnant in the first place? She slip and fall into the hamper or something?

1:03:01 Caller That's kind of like, you know, she wasn't, she's not too, she's never really into sex in general, and it's like, you know.

1:03:08 Drew But that's her, you married her.

1:03:09 Caller Right, I mean, I do body massages and everything she likes.

1:03:12 Drew But, Waylon, did you think you were going to be able to change her or something?

1:03:15 Caller No, I'm just at the point to where I'm begging, and it's getting old, she's never-

1:03:18 Adam I know, but why did you, first off, how old is she?

1:03:21 Caller She's same age as I am, she's 21.

1:03:23 Adam And you guys got married at 19?

1:03:24 Caller Right.

1:03:25 Adam Why the big rush to get married when you're so sort of incompatible this way?

1:03:30 Caller Well, it wasn't that we were incompatible, maybe she was just pretending she liked it, or she's not, you know how some women are just like into sex, she's just not like into sex.

1:03:40 Ednaswap Does she ever masturbate herself?

1:03:42 Caller She says she has, I've never seen it, but she says she's had kind of like a joking way. So I mean, whether there's...

1:03:48 Ednaswap She's just not a sexual person?

1:03:49 Caller She may be too young to be...

1:03:51 Caller No, she's just not a sexual person at all.

1:03:53 Ednaswap How old is she?

1:03:53 Caller 21.

1:03:54 Caller She may be more sexual five years.

1:03:56 Ednaswap Yeah, it's true. That's the one good thing, but by then he'll have lost it.

1:03:59 Drew Whatever she was before...

1:04:00 Caller Oh yeah, 26, man.

1:04:02 Drew Whatever she was before is definitely worse after the babies.

1:04:05 Adam Right.

1:04:05 Drew Okay, and it's certainly the first six months that's worse, and just having a baby makes things worse. Having a baby around makes it more difficult to manage, to find time to do that kind of thing.

1:04:12 Adam Did she ever have anything, anybody screw with her when she was young?

1:04:15 Caller No, nothing like that.

1:04:16 Adam Is she religious?

1:04:18 Caller No, not really, no.

1:04:19 Adam All right. I still would ask you why we're in such a hurry to get married.

1:04:24 Caller It's just the certain circumstances at the time that called for it. It's just, I don't regret getting married.

1:04:29 Drew You're certain that she needed to get out of the home, you needed to get away from there?

1:04:31 Caller Yeah, pretty much. I've lived on land since I was real young.

1:04:35 Drew Somebody was screwing with her.

1:04:35 Adam Was someone screwing with her at home?

1:04:37 Caller No, no one was. Nothing like that. You can just lay naked next to her or whatever and do whatever you can, romantic this, romantic that, and she just is not into it. It's just not her thing.

1:04:47 Adam I know, but why was she in such a hurry to get out of the house?

1:04:51 Caller She had moved out beforehand when she had came to school when she was 18, or actually she was 17. She graduated early and she had been at college and she had moved out already and she cut her ties with her family.

1:05:01 Drew Why?

1:05:02 Caller So I really don't know.

1:05:03 Drew Okay, there is something going on with her family. It's not normal to have no sexual arousal, okay? That's an abnormal state. It's not normal to cut one's ties with one's families and not look back at the age of 17.

1:05:16 Caller Right.

1:05:16 Caller All right?

1:05:17 Drew Look into it. It's your wife. I suggest you got to get some help and treatment. Keep this family together, okay?

1:05:22 Adam Listen, I don't want to speak for Ann being the only woman in the room, but permit me to speak for Ann being the only woman in the room. It is true that women seem to get a little more sexual as the years wear on. And the other thing, though, about women is so much of their sexuality is tied to their emotional state. A guy can get kind of crapped on when he's young. It just makes him hornier. Women...

1:05:47 Drew Or weird. Or weird. Yeah, it doesn't shut things off typically.

1:05:51 Adam Right. He's putting peanut butter on his schvanz and calling his dog into the room. But women sometimes, their emotional state really affects their libido. And if things aren't right emotionally, the libido can oftentimes be gone. Or they get ultra hyper horny, which is good, but eventually it haunts you. Because it snaps. It's like a rubber band's been stretched too far. So when your woman is not performing... I'm sorry. When your bitch is not performing the way you'd like her to or things aren't working out...

1:06:24 Ednaswap You drag her by the hair into the bedroom and get busy.

1:06:27 Adam Stop worrying about jacuzzis and massages. There's something going on. There's a psychological dynamic that needs to be worked on. And all the body oil and Barry White CDs are not going to cure this.

1:06:42 Ednaswap She could be depressed too.

1:06:44 Drew He says no, but of course she could be.

1:06:47 Adam Let's face it, she's 21. She left the house a few years ago and is severed ties with her family.

1:06:52 Ednaswap Had she ever slept with another guy besides him?

1:06:54 Drew We'll never know.

1:06:55 Adam We'll never know because, well no, I can ask him, but Waylon's not good at answering questions.

1:06:59 Caller She may be before her sexual intercourse.

1:07:01 Adam She ever slept with another guy?

1:07:02 Caller Yeah, actually she has.

1:07:03 Adam Okay. And how was that?

1:07:06 Caller I don't care to know.

1:07:08 Adam You're right. Good man. Very smart. Stupid question. You're right. Waylon's a genius. Whose idea was that? Horrible idea. Figures. Alright, Drew? Should we go? Let's go adjourn and watch the monkeys fart.

1:07:22 Drew And then come back and hear some Ednaswap. How about that?

1:07:24 Adam Oh yeah, you guys are going to play live again, right?

1:07:26 Ednaswap Sure.

1:07:27 Adam Do you want to warm up or something? We'll watch monkeys fart.

1:07:29 Ednaswap We want to watch monkeys fart.

1:07:29 Adam Alright, we'll be back.

1:07:45 Caller It's not hard to swallow. We've got a frog in our throat. Lick it up. It's Loveline.

1:08:07 Adam Hey, it's Loveline there, kiddies. Ace Rockolla. That's my DJ name.

1:08:13 Drew They liked your show.

1:08:13 Adam And Dr. Drew.

1:08:14 Drew And I realized what I like most about it. That's hysterical. Is the reactions of the monkeys to their accomplishments. And I feel like I'm looking at a tape of you and Jimmy, reacting to your fart humor.

1:08:23 Adam Why, thank you. And you know, there's a special monkey that makes a grimacing face when he breaks wind. And I don't know that you tend to sort of pay attention to the other end of the monkey. But if you are actually, Sherry, correct me, the chimp. But if you watch the face, Drew, if you watch one more time, watch the face of the monkey, makes a great grimacing face as he's squeezing it out. All right, Ednaswap is here. And they're poised at their instruments. Drew, why don't you close the door there? All right. What's this one called, Ann?

1:08:59 Ednaswap This one is the title track off our upcoming record. It's called Liquid Soul.

1:09:03 Adam Well, let's hear a little of that. That would be Liquid Soul from the upcoming Liquid Soul. Yeah.

1:12:06 Caller Correct.

1:12:07 Adam Am I right? Yes. I usually screw that stuff up. From Ednaswap. Hey, that's a good song. You know how when you hear songs for the first time, you never like them, and then it... But if you hear them like ten times, you usually like them. I like that song the first time. Wow. That means...

1:12:27 Ednaswap You'll hate it in ten times.

1:12:28 Adam No, no. And we gotta give some kudos to Kelly and Paul who are in here playing with Scott Rusty and Anne as well. Drew, you're back? There's Mike. Hey, Mike's back. All right. Questions. Ednaswap is here. Why don't you guys see if you can find your way back to your chairs, put on your headphones, or as we call them in the radio business, cans. And we will continue on with the show. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Excuse the rustling in the background. Engineer Mike's unplugging a few things and setting a few things up. And by the way, I'd like to thank Engineer Mike while his gut is blocking the screen right now. I do because Mike has to come in here early and set up everything and do the sound checks and mix everything. And it's a real confined area here with a lot of archaic equipment. And Mike did a real good job. I mean, as great as the band sounded, some of that has to go to Engineer Mike who put it together. Drew, you want to sit down? You all right? All right. All right, ready to get back to it?

1:13:32 Caller Yeah.

1:13:33 Adam Here you got line eight there.

1:13:35 Drew That's it.

1:13:36 Adam Dan?

1:13:36 Ednaswap Yeah, hi.

1:13:37 Adam Hey, you're 17, your own Ednaswap.

1:13:39 Ednaswap Hi, I'd just like to say I'm a big fan, first of all. How you guys doing? I have a bad situation at home with my mom. I just wanted some advice on whether I should, what I can do about it. A couple of years ago, she started dating this guy. And after about a month or so, he moved in with us. And I acted really resentful toward them at first because, you know, I didn't like the guy. And so I stuck it out for about six months, but it got really tense. So I talked to my grandma about it, and she let me move in with her. And that worked out okay. But after a while, my mom called me over there and told me, you know, she felt like she was being a bad parent. So she wanted me to move back in with her. So I moved back in and it was just the same situation. So I did this back and forth thing for a while. And then I was permanently with my grandma. And then my mom called me about the first of this year and said, okay, I got rid of the guy. You can move back in now.

1:14:39 Drew Will you tell us about this guy again?

1:14:41 Ednaswap He's, I don't know, they started dating about four years ago. She met him like in a bar or something.

1:14:47 Drew So he's alcoholic or drug addict or something?

1:14:49 Ednaswap Yeah, well, he has an alcohol problem.

1:14:51 Drew Does she?

1:14:52 Ednaswap No, she doesn't.

1:14:53 Adam Well, her problem is she likes guys with alcohol problems.

1:14:55 Drew Right.

1:14:56 Ednaswap Yeah, she does. She really attracts losers.

1:14:58 Adam Yeah, even worse because at least the guy is drunk. I mean, when you're drunk, screw it.

1:15:02 Ednaswap Yeah, my dad was a drug addict too, so she had to.

1:15:05 Adam Hold on, I have to peel Drew up off the carpet. Drew is shocked. Drew, have you ever heard of such a thing?

1:15:11 Drew No, the patterns of human behavior.

1:15:13 Adam I believe a woman who dated an alcoholic going out and seeking another alcoholic?

1:15:16 Drew He's shocked.

1:15:17 Adam Unbelievable. I'm sorry, Dan, but I don't believe you.

1:15:21 Ednaswap No, I'm making this all up.

1:15:22 Adam Right, and was her dad into the booze or something?

1:15:26 Ednaswap No, actually he was around booze his whole life, but he never drank. He owned a bar, he drove a beer truck, but he never drank.

1:15:33 Adam He had a still in his car, but he never, ever drank.

1:15:37 Ednaswap Yeah, drove around with a sixer, but never drank.

1:15:40 Adam Right. You know, Dan sounds amazingly sane, considering he's been through a little bit. And believe me, we can tell. So, what's going on now, Dan, you're 17.

1:15:52 Drew What's your question now?

1:15:53 Ednaswap Okay, well, my question is, like, now I'm back here, but I have to leave on the weekends, and the situation is just, you know, I know that I'm not responsible for them breaking up, but I think in the back of their mind, they think I am. And I just kind of feel a little like, maybe I should stick it out, try to make up with the guy so that we can all live back here. But I know it'll just turn into the same thing again.

1:16:15 Drew Where do you go on the weekends?

1:16:17 Ednaswap I go to my grandma's. She just lives in the same area.

1:16:19 Drew Let's be clear, who are the parents in this situation?

1:16:22 Ednaswap Oh, like my real parents?

1:16:25 Drew I mean, are you the parent? Mom's a parent.

1:16:29 Ednaswap Right, absolutely.

1:16:30 Drew I can blame you for a disaster to her relationship.

1:16:33 Ednaswap You shouldn't blame yourself.

1:16:34 Drew Yeah, she's your parent. She's your mom.

1:16:35 Ednaswap Oh, I know.

1:16:36 Drew None of her damn... This is ridiculous.

1:16:38 Adam Oh, I like when Drew gets indignant. Go.

1:16:41 Drew It just makes me very angry when parents parentalize kids for their own serious dysfunctions. And to make her responsible for you... make you responsible for her...

1:16:53 Adam All right...

1:16:54 Drew .foolishness.

1:16:55 Adam In her inability to help herself via therapy or at least therapy on cassette. That's what I'm into. I can get therapy while I drive. It's just a loop of a tape of a guy going... You're okay. And how did that make you feel? And you can program your own name in there. So I'll go, Adam. And how did that make you feel? There's a long pause. Adam. And I go, well, angry. And how did that make you feel? Well, resentful. All right. Dan, here's my advice to Dan. Dan's 17. He sounds like he's got his head screwed on straight. And I'm advising him not to internalize his mother's problems, not to feel guilty for her screwing up her relationships. Go ahead, graduate high school and go off to some college far, far away. And that's it.

1:17:45 Drew Get out of the house. Well, he wants to have a relationship with mom and do that, but don't feel guilty or responsible for their crazy relationship. In fact, you're doing her a favor if your presence keeps them apart.

1:17:56 Ednaswap Just try and find somebody for yourself who's not crazy.

1:17:58 Drew They're confronted with a healthy person and they can't deny their own craziness.

1:18:04 Adam Listen, I don't mind people acting like kids, but I hate it when they have kids. Then I get pissed off at them. If you want to be in your 40s and walk around till 3 in the afternoon in your bathrobe and keep a bottle of Jim Beam in the front pocket when you answer the door with your penis hanging out. Wait a minute, that's me. All right, but the point is I don't have kids. Yeah. I knew this was heading somewhere.

1:18:27 Caller Do whatever you want.

1:18:28 Adam Just don't have kids. That's it. And possibly not even a dog at certain stages of life.

1:18:35 Ednaswap Try an hamster.

1:18:35 Adam Evan?

1:18:37 No, I agree with him.

1:18:38 Adam Evan, you're 14.

1:18:39 Caller Yeah.

1:18:39 Adam What's going on?

1:18:40 Ednaswap Well, recently I found what looked like blood in my shorts. And I went to the doctor and they're giving me a sonogram on my kidneys and my bladder.

1:18:50 Adam What was that? John Cougar song?

1:18:53 Drew And this was just spontaneously there? Was it after you urinated or do you think you-

1:18:58 Ednaswap No, I don't know. I just wasn't-

1:18:59 Drew Was it during the night? Was it during the night?

1:19:01 Ednaswap It was like there.

1:19:02 Drew Was it during the night?

1:19:04 Ednaswap I guess, yeah.

1:19:04 Drew Could you have had a wet dream during the night or anything?

1:19:06 Ednaswap No.

1:19:08 Ednaswap Was it painful?

1:19:09 Ednaswap No, I didn't even feel anything.

1:19:10 Drew Because blood on the semen is not that uncommon. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

1:19:14 Ednaswap The result turned out-

1:19:16 Drew Did they want to do a cystoscopy on you where they look up there with a scope?

1:19:20 Ednaswap No, they just put the sonogram stuff on my bladder and my kidney.

1:19:23 Drew Okay.

1:19:25 Adam Thank God. So that time of the month, Evan, you've become a woman, Evan.

1:19:31 Drew I'm going to cry. It doesn't have to be anything serious. I mean, blood in the urine, blood in the semen are relatively common.

1:19:37 Adam I never had blood in the semen. I had blood in the urine once.

1:19:39 Drew Blood in the urine is actually a more serious thing. It is?

1:19:42 Adam Yeah.

1:19:43 Drew I mean, it can have more serious implications.

1:19:45 Ednaswap Long lasting effects.

1:19:47 Ednaswap It's like stopped after a while, but then I find it here and there.

1:19:51 Adam He went to the doctor, right?

1:19:52 Drew Did you see a urologist? A kidney specialist?

1:19:55 Ednaswap Just like my normal doctor.

1:19:56 Drew You need to go on and see a urologist, in my opinion. I think to curate blood in the urine needs to be, you need to have a reasonable.

1:20:03 Adam But he saw the spot in his underwear when he woke up in the morning?

1:20:05 Drew Yeah, but there's no diagnosis yet. All we still know is that it's not certain things. We don't know what it is yet.

1:20:10 Adam You weren't dreaming about being on a pirate ship with some of your sister's friends or anything? No.

1:20:18 Drew What the hell are you talking about?

1:20:19 Adam I'm saying he was sleeping. He's 14. You know what I mean? There may be a little seepage going on there. Yeah. I'm guessing it's semen related.

1:20:29 Drew Could be. That would be the more benign situation really.

1:20:31 Adam All right, Evan.

1:20:32 Drew You do need to see urologist, a kidney specialist.

1:20:35 Ednaswap All right. Thanks a lot.

1:20:35 Adam You guys are great. Oh boy. What is that? Uroscopy?

1:20:39 Drew Cystoscopy.

1:20:40 Adam Cystoscopy. That's where they look up your penis?

1:20:43 Drew The curling iron, yeah.

1:20:46 Adam They don't plug it in, do they?

1:20:47 Drew No, that would be hard.

1:20:49 Adam Seriously, what do they go up there with?

1:20:51 Drew A curling iron. I mean, it's a scope.

1:20:52 Adam I don't even have a penis, that's painful. I'll tell you, that is the only scope I'd let you look at my penis through.

1:21:00 Drew What?

1:21:01 Adam I wouldn't let anything go up it.

1:21:03 Drew Oh, but a telescope goes up it. That's the point.

1:21:05 Adam That's my point. No, I'd like it.

1:21:06 Drew It's a telescoping instrument.

1:21:08 Adam No, I'm talking about a looking glass, like a pirate would use.

1:21:11 Drew From across the room.

1:21:12 Adam Yeah, past there.

1:21:13 Drew Right.

1:21:13 Adam Hey, ahoy there, urethra, or something. But not actually go up there. No, that would be too painful. Sonia.

1:21:22 Caller Hello.

1:21:23 Adam Hey, you're 17.

1:21:24 Caller Yeah, like recently, I've been having like a weird color discharge, and I would just like to know if that's normal, or what's the cause of that.

1:21:32 Drew Are you sexually active?

1:21:34 Caller Yes.

1:21:35 Drew I suggest you see a doctor, because there can be sexually transmitted diseases or vaginal infections that can have a yellow discharge associated with it, and some of them are nothing, and some of them are something, but they need to be evaluated to see. Okay? It's important. I mean, it's probably just a vaginitis, something like Gardnerella.

1:21:52 Caller So it's nothing like, um, they're serious?

1:21:54 Drew Well, I don't know, because you have to get it checked out. Right.

1:21:57 Adam Sonia, Drew is not going to give you the thumbs up not to go to the doctor.

1:22:00 Drew You have to go to the doctor.

1:22:01 Adam You have to go to the doctor.

1:22:02 Drew You should be going anyway if you're sexually active. You've got to get your pap smears started early. You need to be screened for cervical cancer, because young women get that disease. Okay.

1:22:10 Caller Okay.

1:22:11 Drew Thank you.

1:22:12 Adam She's not going. Sonia, you're not going to the doctor, are you?

1:22:16 Caller Yes, I will.

1:22:17 Adam You will?

1:22:17 Caller Yes.

1:22:18 Adam What kind of doctor?

1:22:19 Caller To a clinic.

1:22:20 Drew You can go to any kind you want. And you can be confidential. You don't have to worry about... I mean, this is what the health care providers do, is do these sorts of evaluations. It's going to be nothing new to him or her. And you don't have to tell anybody if you don't want to. You can go on your own and take your boyfriend with you. You don't have to tell your parents. Some clinics only require no payment or also small donations. Like Planned Parenthood, places like that.

1:22:40 Adam They want money later on, but you just ignore them. That's what I found. When I used to go to County USC and then later when I went to that lesbian clinic in Santa Monica, oh, it's that painful. I should really sue them. Five women standing around having a conversation in front of my penis.

1:22:56 Drew Oh, you're making-

1:22:57 Adam It's horrible.

1:22:57 Drew You're making a primetime fire.

1:22:58 Adam Five bitter women with a mullet hairdo standing there. I'm sitting there with my penis hanging out. Not conversation about my penis, just conversation in front of the penis.

1:23:09 Ednaswap That was probably what was so painful for you.

1:23:11 Adam It really was. Just let me enjoy my weenie, please. All right. Oh, engineer Mike's really going to town on it. Hey, before we go to break, Mike, play one good Drew Drop for us. I don't care. I just want to hear one from last night.

1:23:25 Drew Since I stopped taking Depo-Provera, I've been lactating. If anything, I want to be dominated. I recently went to a fraternity party and got really drunk. I randomly hooked up with a guy and we had sex. I didn't even know his name the next morning. Now he keeps calling me and I don't even still remember his name.

1:23:40 Caller Wow, true.

1:23:43 Adam Do you have the hand one on there, engineer Mike? That's not on there yet? Oh, that's one of my favorite.

1:23:48 Drew What's the hand one? Which one's that?

1:23:49 Adam I just gave him the hand.

1:23:51 Drew Oh, right.

1:23:52 Adam That's my favorite one of yours. So that and a faggot by the run. I think that's my favorite.

1:23:56 Drew Here we go. My lover likes me a lot, but sometimes I'm scared because he's very active. He gives me oral sex. I just give him the hand.

1:24:03 Caller This guy is an asshole.

1:24:04 Adam Now, see, the beauty of Drew there is that was on the fly editing because Drew was reading a fax and it probably said my lover gives me oral sex and I give him a blow job or I give him a hand job or I give him a reach around or something like that but Drew did some editing and it was silky smooth. Did you hear it? There was only about a nine second pause in between the time he said finished his last sentence and began the hand. One more time, Mike, please. Just to appease me. One more. I know, but I got to hear it one more time. One more hand one, please.

1:24:39 Drew My lover likes me a lot but sometimes I'm scared because he is very active. He gives me oral sex. I just give him the hand.

1:24:47 Adam Yes, totally undetectable. No one knew it.

1:24:50 Drew Is it okay to be in love to a guy twice my age?

1:24:52 Adam All right, Drew, no more questions. We gotta go to break and we'll be back.

1:25:01 Caller Dr. James Wright.

1:25:03 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:25:05 Caller W.E.B.N.

1:25:10 Caller Radio that keeps you up at night. It's Love Line only on W.E.B.N.

1:25:24 Adam Hey, it is Love Line. Phone number for Loveline. Screw the phone number. All right. Anne and Paul are both here from Ednaswap. In the flesh. And Drew is in the other room, and here come Drew's now piling back into the room. And phone number for Loveline. I tried to give that out before. We don't need to give out the phone number anymore. We got enough calls, right, Drew? Yes. Drew, put the headphones on. We're going to continue on with the show. Ednaswap's going to have an album out in August. And the album's done.

1:25:59 Ednaswap Yeah, it's being finished now. Yeah, it's pretty much done. All intents and purposes.

1:26:04 Adam When you guys...

1:26:05 Caller We're still trying to get Natalie to convince some background vocals on it, you know.

1:26:10 Adam When you guys finish, how long does it normally take after the tracks are laid down to like engineer it or do whatever, mix it or whatever it is they have to do to then put it out to the point where, you know, it's out?

1:26:24 Ednaswap Well, you record it, that's where the engineering happens, and you mix it, which is more engineering, and then you master it, which is more engineering.

1:26:32 Adam Are you still there for the mastery part?

1:26:34 Ednaswap You can be, yeah. We are sometimes.

1:26:36 Adam But what happens after you're done singing and doing and being recorded?

1:26:41 Ednaswap Party. It's over.

1:26:42 Adam Yeah, but what needs to be done in between the time that you guys leave the studio and the album comes out? You know what I'm saying?

1:26:50 Ednaswap They have to press it into little CDs that go to the stores. You have to do artwork.

1:26:54 Adam Well, here's what I'm saying. I just did this TV show, and it's like we were done, but it took a week for them to edit a bunch of stuff and then go back and put in these like graphics and do just a bunch of stuff.

1:27:05 Ednaswap Minus the graphics, same thing. Right.

1:27:07 Adam So, right. Now, does that take three months or could you put the thing out in three weeks?

1:27:12 Ednaswap I don't know how fast. I think different record labels have different times they can turn it out. I think eight weeks or, I don't know. I really have no idea what I'm talking about.

1:27:20 Adam Is there, okay, but maybe you know this. Is there some strategy to putting it out at a certain time, like, for instance, August?

1:27:28 Ednaswap You want to avoid Christmas.

1:27:29 Adam Oh, you do?

1:27:30 Ednaswap If you're like us and not, you know, Pearl Jam.

1:27:33 Adam Right. I see. So, try to try to...

1:27:35 Ednaswap I think that's the only strategy that I've ever heard.

1:27:39 Adam Victoria. Yes. What's going on? You're 18. You're on with Ednaswap.

1:27:42 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:27:43 Adam And Drew, don't be laughing your ass off over there when I'm interviewing the band, please.

1:27:47 Drew It's your stuff I'm laughing at.

1:27:48 Adam Oh, it is? I thought you were making fun of me.

1:27:50 Drew No, no, no.

1:27:51 Adam All right.

1:27:52 Drew I can't get over it.

1:27:53 Adam Victoria.

1:27:54 Caller Yeah.

1:27:55 Adam Go right ahead, please.

1:27:55 Caller This is my problem. All right. I've been with this guy. He's my fiance right now for two years. And he's like the only guy I've ever been with. I was allowed to date when I wasn't allowed to date till I turned 16. And I first started dating him. And he's the only guy I've ever been with, like, ever. Well, what happened is about a year and a half after we started dating, I started getting, like, you know, really curious to wanting to know what it would be like with another guy. Well, you know, after a while, I...

1:28:27 Adam Hey, Victoria, quit fidgeting with your retainer. What is that?

1:28:32 Caller That's my phone.

1:28:34 Adam Don't move.

1:28:35 Caller OK. Well, what happened was, as I was talking with a really good friend of mine, which is actually my assistant manager at work, and I was telling him, you know, that I was wondering what it would be like with another person, and he had told me that, you know, maybe I shouldn't, that I shouldn't get married if I were to have, if I were to consider anything.

1:28:56 Adam Did you fool around with him?

1:28:57 Caller Yeah.

1:28:58 Adam Yeah, believe me. His outward demeanor was this. Oh, yeah, I would advise against making a commitment and tell. Inside, there's the sound of, like, one of Fred Flintstone's steam whistle going off. And it's like, then he'll cut to a visual, like the wolf going, ooh, ooh, ooh, and, like, smacking his foot up and down real hard.

1:29:22 Drew Yeah, he takes every card, man.

1:29:24 Adam Yeah. I mean, he's going, oh, I'm getting some. I may get blown right here. Oh, that is just an invitation. Yeah. All right. So, so what happened? And of course, that's the way you meant it as well. Of course. Yeah. Well, it's a victorious being a realist.

1:29:42 Drew All right.

1:29:43 Adam But look, what'd you do with him? Did you have sex?

1:29:45 Caller Yes.

1:29:45 Adam Oh, okay.

1:29:46 Drew Did that, what did that do for you?

1:29:48 Caller Um, really not much. I mean, it just kind of, it was one of those, all I could think of while it was happening is, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this.

1:29:56 Adam Yeah. And I'm 34. I still, that's still the way I think. Even when I masturbate, I have that thought coursing through my brain.

1:30:04 Caller No, but then, you know, after a while it was just like, you know, wow, this is, you know, this is different. I was actually having some fun.

1:30:11 Adam Yeah.

1:30:12 Drew You shouldn't get married, I don't think.

1:30:14 Ednaswap I mean, why have you been engaged for two years?

1:30:16 Caller I'm sorry?

1:30:16 Ednaswap Why have you been engaged for so long?

1:30:18 Caller Okay, we were, we've been date, we've dated for two years. We've been engaged for about a half a year now.

1:30:24 Adam But it, it's 17 and a half or whatever. I mean, why, why bother getting?

1:30:28 Caller Well, see, we're not planning on getting married until, you know, for well, for a while actually.

1:30:33 Adam Are you engaged to be engaged? I love when people do that.

1:30:38 Caller Yeah, no, I'm engaged.

1:30:39 Adam Yeah, that's like, the people that are engaged to be engaged, it's like, it's like me saying, I'm, I'm pre, pre-astronaut, I'm not an astronaut, I've not walked on the moon yet, but I'm planning on it. This is, I'm based by, I'm gonna do it by smoking pot and watching TV. All right. So don't get married. This, and listen.

1:31:00 Drew Not at your age, you shouldn't be getting married.

1:31:01 Adam And also, Victoria, I'd like you to admit something. This was not all curiosity. You don't get that curious at 18 when you're in love with somebody. This guy's not.

1:31:12 Ednaswap Well, she'd never been with another guy, though.

1:31:13 Adam I know, but still at eight, that stuff usually, yeah, but that stuff usually kicks in, at least people we've spoken to. That's at 22 after they've been married for four and a half years and the guy's not holding up his end of the bargain. She's not that interested in this guy.

1:31:29 Drew Yeah, and has trouble admitting that.

1:31:30 Adam Can you admit that, Victoria?

1:31:32 Caller Well, actually, see, I don't see it that way.

1:31:34 Adam I know you don't see it that way, but don't you think that's a more logical explanation? You're 18 and you had sex with a guy you work with. How in love with this guy could you be?

1:31:46 Caller Yeah.

1:31:47 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:31:48 Caller Yeah, I understand what you're saying.

1:31:49 Drew And you're telling us you had fun and felt sort of actualized by this experience.

1:31:53 Ednaswap Yeah, I would say definitely don't get married right away.

1:31:57 Adam And be realistic with yourself. This relationship may not be what it's cracked up to be.

1:32:01 Drew What you fantasize it to be. Stay in reality. Stay connected with reality and don't deny what is real. Okay?

1:32:08 Adam All right.

1:32:09 Drew Maybe you want to stay with them, maybe you don't, but I don't think marriage is something you should be getting into at your age.

1:32:13 Adam No. All right. Let's see if we can pile through a few calls. So, man, Melissa has been on hold for 114 minutes.

1:32:19 Drew I don't want to take her.

1:32:20 Adam Oh, talk about pathetic.

1:32:22 Drew No.

1:32:23 Adam Yeah, line one. Melissa. Hey, you're 18.

1:32:27 Caller Yeah.

1:32:27 Adam Has no interest in sex. Anything wrong with her? Naturally, she's been on hold for 115 minutes. Anyone had any kind of interest in sex would have hung up at 15.

1:32:35 Caller No, I was falling asleep.

1:32:37 Drew Have you ever had any interest?

1:32:39 Caller Well, I left my virginity to my boyfriend.

1:32:42 Drew At what age?

1:32:43 Caller 17.

1:32:44 Caller I'm 18 right now.

1:32:45 Drew And how was that experience?

1:32:47 Caller It was fine.

1:32:49 Caller We've been together 14 months.

1:32:51 Adam Have you ever had any interest in sex?

1:32:53 Caller Yeah.

1:32:54 Drew But you lost it suddenly with him. Yeah. Okay, you're not into the relationship.

1:32:58 Adam It's a guy.

1:33:00 Drew Something about the feeling, something about what he's giving you is not right.

1:33:03 Adam Right. I always, like I said, whenever a woman loses interest in a guy sexually, I always blame it on the relationship.

1:33:10 Drew Or the guy.

1:33:11 Ednaswap No, never the guy, right? It's too scary probably.

1:33:13 Adam No, on the guy and the relationship, but not for a guy can lose interest, a woman puts on 10 pounds or something or what have you. Guys can do this. Women, they're much more forgiving unless it's an emotional thing. All right. Let me just power through a few calls here. Man has been home for 58 minutes. Man is a 14, 21-year-old boyfriend who dumped her for his ex, wants her back. Now, should she?

1:33:38 Drew 21-year-old boyfriend, 14-year-old.

1:33:40 Adam This guy's a latch.

1:33:41 Drew Ron, Amanda.

1:33:42 Adam Understand? He's worse than Sonny Bono.

1:33:45 Ednaswap Well, I mean, there's more to it than that.

1:33:47 Adam That's enough.

1:33:47 Drew That's plenty. You can tell the police. Tell your parents.

1:33:49 Adam Here's the deal. He should be graduating from college if in fact he didn't fail his SAT or I was going to say GED. He never went to college. But you are in the ninth grade.

1:34:03 Ednaswap Actually, I'm not even in school.

1:34:05 Adam Okay, this is big problems.

1:34:07 Drew Huge.

1:34:08 Caller Well, I mean, I dated him from January to the middle of March and he has a baby.

1:34:14 Drew All right.

1:34:15 Adam Amanda, I'm going to dedicate one minute to your life, but if you listen to me, it's going to be the most important one minute you've ever heard. I got you pictured already. It's like an episode of Jerry Springer. It's like Cops meets Jerry Springer. It's Jerry Coppers. You understand? Do you want that kind of life with the bad haircuts and the trailers and the wearing velour long after it went out of style? Do you want that? This is what you're looking for. Please get some education. Stop watching so much TV. Stop smoking so much pot and relax. Your parents are idiots. I'm sorry for that, but you don't have to go that direction. Do you understand me? Do not throw any chairs and don't get pregnant.

1:34:59 Drew Then we'll go break.

1:35:00 Adam I think that's as much as I can do.

1:35:02 Ednaswap You know what?

1:35:03 Adam Oh, if the kids would only listen.

1:35:04 Ednaswap Maybe she taped it.

1:35:09 Caller The phone number for Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:35:13 Ednaswap Loveline will be right back.

1:35:25 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:35:27 Caller The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the staff or management or producers or directors or the advertising or anyone.

1:35:34 Caller They might be Bob's.

1:35:35 Caller I'm Bob and they're mine.

1:35:37 Caller The producer of Loveline is Ann Wilkins. Loveline is a presentation of Westbrook One Entertainment.

1:35:41 Caller Grr, arg. We now return you to your highly tested, regularly scheduled programming. Bye.

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Thursday, May 7, 1998