Episode 1000754888029

2:49 Voiceover Well, the Love Love Line is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content, losing her discretion at price.

2:57 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline.

2:59 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

3:03 Voiceover Are you insane?

3:04 Adam Hey, hey, hey, it's a Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. I'll forget about that fax number. We never get a fax that's worth a damn, do we, Drew?

3:22 Drew We never see them. Whether or not we get it, I don't know.

3:25 Adam I think Ann hordes all the complimentary ones and then brings over the, I want to kill both of you faxes. I haven't seen a fax in six months on this show. Jeanne Garofalo is here. She was kind enough to come in. I think Jeanne was supposed to come in a time or two, but we got our wires crossed, but she's here in person tonight. I was talking to Jeanne about our friend Andy Dick, Drew, because I was watching Extra last night when I got home about 12.30. Well, he did a little, Jeanne and the rest of the old Ben Stiller cast was doing a little reunion thing at the Aspen Comedy Festival.

4:10 Drew Did he do his band there?

4:12 Guest No, he did a drunk schtick. He was completely sober, and he pretended, playing on the stories surrounding Andy Dick. We pretended at the reunion that he wasn't there because he was in rehab, and then he emerges from the back of the theater, drunk, fake drunk, and proceeds to walk on stage, make a scene, and throw up on me. And it was all planned.

4:32 Yes.

4:32 Guest It was all a joke, and of course, extra.

4:35 Yeah.

4:35 Adam Well, to hear them tell it.

4:37 Guest Yeah.

4:37 Adam He was back on the juice and out of control. And I know he's such a convincing actor. At least when he's playing drunk. That is a part he knows well. That I wasn't sure if he was just off the wagon or just having a good time.

4:52 Guest He was pretending. He was pretending.

4:54 Adam Hey, MacGyver, how long are you going to screw with that pager?

4:59 Drew Till I get it to work.

5:00 Adam What's, you know, the fact that it doesn't work.

5:02 Guest Sounds like you guys are doing a comedy bit right there. Hey, how long you going to screw with that pager? Till I get it to work. Sounds like something else is coming and here comes the joke.

5:09 Adam Well, our routine is a lot like a comedy routine except for no punchline.

5:13 Drew No funny.

5:14 Adam Yeah, we're both straight men.

5:16 Guest That's the alternative comedy. No jokes, no punchline. You've heard of it.

5:21 Adam That is it. You've been known to do that with Margaret Cho and Kathy Griffin and the rest of the hip young LA in New York.

5:30 Guest Let me point out that there is no such thing as alternative comedy. That is a press creation. Alternative comedy just comes from a literally, a literal alternative venue to a comedy club, doing it not in a comedy club proper, but a venue that is an alternative.

5:46 Adam Somebody told me, who the hell was it? Was it Kathy? Kathy said the last time she did one of those things, Margaret Cho was up there telling a story about getting drunk, calling me and wanting to come over to my house and F me.

5:59 Drew Yeah.

6:00 Guest F you?

6:00 Adam What the?

6:01 Drew Of course, that never happened.

6:03 Adam No, it never happened.

6:04 Drew Yes, it did.

6:05 Adam Oh, yeah. The phone call happened. Oh, yeah. It was a great conversation.

6:09 Guest She's very funny, Margaret Cho.

6:11 Adam I had to walk over there and F you right now.

6:15 Guest She's very funny.

6:16 Adam Oh, boy. She's a delight.

6:18 Drew She wasn't being funny though.

6:19 Adam No.

6:20 Guest Although, it's funny though.

6:21 Drew Yes. It's a high comedy.

6:24 Adam I was amused, but I was unprepared. It was kind of surreal for me that the All-American girl was talking about coming over on foot no less and giving me a good F-ing.

6:37 Guest I still don't know what an F-ing is. I'm still confused.

6:42 Adam I don't want to write it down.

6:42 Guest But I like the sound effects.

6:44 Adam Janina has a book she co-wrote with Ben Stiller. What's the name of that title again?

6:50 Guest Feel This Book, which is kind of stolen from Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book.

6:54 Adam Right. And I would be laughing, but I heard it 10 minutes ago, so I got all my laughs out.

7:03 Guest It's not a big belly laugher.

7:04 Adam No, but it's clever. I think that we learn from doing a book ourselves.

7:07 Guest I'm sure this demo out there is going, Abbie Hoffman, all right, counter-cultural icon. We all like Abbie Hoffman.

7:14 Adam Fight the power. That's right. What's the book on?

7:19 Guest It is sort of a fake self-help book. It's just a lot of advice for young people by two unqualified adults, Ben Stiller and myself, unqualified to dole out advice, yet we dole it out nonetheless.

7:38 Adam It must be great to have successful friends. God, that must be huge.

7:46 Guest I guess.

7:47 Adam I'm asking you. I'm making that statement.

7:49 Guest Is that meaning it's great for me personally to have successful friends?

7:53 Drew Adam wishes he had somebody he could call upon for something.

7:56 Guest Meaning that you get to co-write a book with?

7:59 Adam Well, it's great all the way around. It's great for you that you know Ben Stiller, and it's great for Ben Stiller that he knows you, and you can weave each other into your new projects and all this. All my idiot friends are still carpet-cleaning and swinging hammers and just wanting to borrow money. And then there's Drew, who's zero help at all.

8:17 Guest I wish I had some successful Hollywood friends.

8:19 Guest What a brainiac, what a cerebral wonderful friend to have in Dr. Drew.

8:22 Adam You'll be disappointed tonight, I'm sure.

8:25 Guest The ladies love Dr. Drew. The ladies love Dr. Drew. Don't kid yourself.

8:29 Adam They certainly do.

8:30 Guest More sound effects.

8:31 Adam All right, you ready to take some phone calls, lovable Dr. Drew? Yeah?

8:36 Drew Yes, please.

8:37 Adam Okay. Let's see. Anthony?

8:40 Yeah.

8:41 Adam You're 17.

8:42 Caller Want to talk to Janine?

8:43 Drew Oh, I can't hear him.

8:44 Caller Hello?

8:45 Adam I can hear him fine.

8:47 Guest I can barely hear him. I know there's an Anthony, but I can't hear him.

8:49 Drew It's not going into our headphones.

8:51 Caller Yeah.

8:51 Adam There we go.

8:51 Drew There it is.

8:51 Guest There it is. Hi, Anthony.

8:53 Caller Hi. Just want to say you're doing such a great job on speaking out about Lookism and about how Christianity is pretty much crap.

9:02 Guest Why, thank you. That's a good way to get me shocked, get me whacked by the Christian, but thank you.

9:07 Drew What's Lookism?

9:08 Guest Lookism, I think, is, Anthony, and I think is when people are, in the way that people judge, you know, racism, anything is, Lookism is a cultural bias against certain types of esthetics that don't fit into what we think of as acceptable, i.e. overweight women is very taboo or things of that nature.

9:30 Adam I think overweight women are discriminated against more in this society than any other group in this culture. Absolutely. And I've said it many times this way.

9:41 Drew Maybe more cruelly.

9:42 Adam Oh, yeah. Well, because people don't edit themselves. It's just, hey, lard-ass, out of the way.

9:48 Guest Well, they're tactless. A lot of people, not everyone, a lot of people are tactless when it comes to females being overweighted. They think as if it's something to be ridiculed and something that, like, with Monica, I hate to bring up Monica Lewinsky, but nine times out of ten, the jokes are aimed at her, what she looks like or what her weight is, as if that's a relevant issue for any.

10:11 Adam Yeah, it's a little bit cruel that way. The way I would, the example I would use is I know a lot of guys and they'd go out with just about anybody. I mean, they go out with a beautiful Asian woman, they go out with a beautiful black woman, a beautiful Hispanic woman, but they wouldn't go out with a big fat woman. Right. And that's all you need to know. So they do discriminate, but not in the way you would think they would.

10:32 Guest There's discrimination against, you know, it's not really gender specific, but it tends to be that the jokes run more towards the feminine side.

10:40 Caller Yeah.

10:41 Adam Well, they get a, women get a little more of it.

10:43 Guest Yeah.

10:44 Adam Anthony?

10:45 Caller Yeah.

10:46 Adam You big chubby guy yourself? Come on, Lardo.

10:50 Guest He's kidding.

10:51 Adam Fess up.

10:51 Caller For some reason, but it's not because I'm big and chubby.

10:54 Adam Oh, okay.

10:56 Caller I saw you on the Food Network.

10:58 Guest Speaking of, speaking of intake.

11:00 Adam That's a smooth segue.

11:01 Guest Yes, I was on the Food Network.

11:02 Caller Is that guy gay?

11:03 Guest No, he's got a, well, I don't know. I don't know. I know he has a child.

11:07 Drew Which guy?

11:09 Guest The man that hosts, co-hosts the Food Network. I'm totally brain, forgetting his name right now. I totally know his name. I've known him since he hosted Comedy Tonight.

11:18 Adam Even the grips on the Food Network are gay. Everybody on that set is gay. It's just that with today's liberal adoption laws, I'm sure he's able to wrangle the kids.

11:27 Drew Is your favorite show on the Food Network?

11:28 Adam No, my favorite show is Interior Motives.

11:31 Guest Oh, I love that guy.

11:34 Adam Do you have that guy?

11:35 Guest Look for the areas, fill that space.

11:40 Guest I love Interior Motives.

11:42 Adam There is no gayer man, not on TV, on Earth.

11:45 Drew Now you guys are indulging in soundism.

11:47 Guest I know, now we're indulging in what seems to be gay bashing. Anthony, I apologize. You're better than that, man. You deserve to hear better out of me than laughing with this one over here about Interior Motives.

11:56 Caller If I can do it, they can do it, you can do it.

11:58 Drew Adam really brings you down to a lower level, doesn't he?

12:02 Guest Thanks to me.

12:04 Adam When I saw that guy on Interior Motives, We were in Iowa. We were in an Iowa hotel. I was in a room that was right next door to Drew's room and then Drew picked up the story.

12:14 Drew I was in the shower and I hear this banging on the door. You've got to come out. You've got to come to the television right now. Grabbed the towel, ran over the TV. What? An earthquake in Los Angeles? What's the problem?

12:24 Adam The world's gayest man is on television. Interior Motives.

12:27 Drew Oh, I love that show.

12:28 Guest Revelling in it, reveling in it.

12:29 Adam Ann is up for a nami, sorry, up for an Emmy. He's a daytime- A nami. A nami. He's, it's a way of condensing nominated in Emmy. He's up for a nami.

12:41 Guest Again, let me apologize for laughing at the host of Interior Motives. I apologize, listening audience.

12:45 Adam I'm sure he's as straight as Chuck Heston. Ray?

12:49 Yes.

12:50 Adam You're 23.

12:51 Caller Yes.

12:51 Adam What's happening?

12:52 Caller Well, my question is kind of for Dr. Drew. Hi, Jaleen and Adam.

12:57 Guest Jaleen's a nice name.

12:58 Adam That's good too. It's like a nami.

13:00 Guest It's sort of like Janine, but nicer.

13:02 Caller Oh, yeah.

13:03 Adam What's going on?

13:04 Caller Okay. Well, my question is this. I was engaged for two years on and off and we broke up. And we were very intimate in our relationship. And after we broke up, it seems that...

13:15 Drew What does that mean, we were very intimate?

13:17 Caller Oh, intimate as sexual and as partners and just everything in life, we were very close. And I broke up with her and... Why? Well, I felt the love of marriage and I wanted to be married to her. But I don't know if I felt that I was truly in love with her and I wanted to be honest with her and me.

13:35 Drew I thought there was such closeness. There was a superb connection and such closeness.

13:39 Guest Yeah, but that doesn't mean... He's 23 years old. That doesn't mean... You're 23, right? I think I understand. He's saying... I mean, that's a huge life decision.

13:47 Drew No, to say I wasn't ready to get married and I want to let her go down her way was a different thing than saying, I wasn't sure if I was in love with her. But we had such a perfect relationship.

13:55 Caller Well, I was in love with her as a person, but I don't know if I was in love with her like 30 years down the road and we're sitting in a...

14:02 Drew You're just not ready to get married and that's fine. Yes.

14:04 Caller I think I'm prepared for marriage. I just don't know if I was...

14:07 Drew You're not prepared for marriage. I declare you not prepared.

14:10 Guest 23 is too young.

14:11 Drew You are not prepared.

14:12 Caller True. But...

14:14 Drew I'm just not the way he's talking. I'm in love with him, but I'm not...

14:17 Guest Let him finish, Drew, for crying out loud.

14:20 Caller You're the man. That's why I'm asking you. But my question is this. Is that after breaking up in such a serious relationship, and I think... I don't know. I seem like I'm in a cold stage where no intimacy towards other women or even...

14:34 Drew I don't think you understand that term. Don't use the word intimacy. Use other words.

14:39 Caller Look at a woman where just like when you look at a woman and the excited fullness, it just doesn't seem to be there. And is it something that...

14:46 Drew Your libido has gone away.

14:48 Caller Okay.

14:48 Drew You have no sexual drive. Is that right?

14:51 Caller I just don't really feel the need for it.

14:54 Drew There would be no drive, right?

14:55 Adam Jesus Christ.

14:56 Drew Ray, you want any medication?

14:57 Caller No, sir.

14:58 Drew Have you been depressed lately?

15:00 Caller I'm a little frustrated. I mean, just work and get through this life.

15:05 Drew One of the more common symptoms of depression is lack of libido.

15:09 Adam Really?

15:09 Drew And there's something going on.

15:11 Adam Not for masturbation.

15:12 Caller Yeah.

15:13 Adam Because that's when you slip into that masturbatory rage.

15:17 Drew I got the essay book out of my car. I want you to read it.

15:20 Adam Oh, please. You know what Drew says to me? I see Drew earlier today, in front of eight people, by the way, in a green room. He goes, hey, Adam, I got the Sexaholics book. There's a whole chapter on masturbation I want you to look at. Yeah, sitting in front of eight people, I don't know. Have some decorum for Christ's sake.

15:38 Drew What did you go on to say, though?

15:39 Guest Hey, you guys, you're not helping this guy who's calling. You just give it a rest here.

15:43 Caller I think Adam's chapter was in last month's issue of Playboy. That's what my friend was telling me earlier.

15:47 Adam Right. See you in a race.

15:49 Drew I don't think I'm going to get at it, but there's something up with your ability to have real intimacy.

15:54 Caller Okay. I don't know if it's a problem with intimacy or just, I don't know, just something that someone goes through when you're in such an intense relationship that you just kind of, you shut down.

16:03 Adam How long ago did the relationship end?

16:05 Caller I'm sorry, what?

16:06 Adam How long ago did it end?

16:09 Caller I would say beginning of this January.

16:12 Drew You lost something highly idealized but not real.

16:15 Adam Okay.

16:16 Drew And as such, there's sort of a depressive reaction to that. And that's normal, but it's a depression built on the loss of a fantasy. And there's something else going on in creating the need for that fantasy.

16:28 Adam Ray's doing way too much thinking and I think he's reading too much too.

16:32 Guest I think you guys are being harsh on Ray. I think Ray's brought up some good points and he's wrought them intelligently, which is more than I can say for a lot of people who talk about these things at 23 saying some intelligent things. I think you guys are very quick to cut him off.

16:46 Adam Oh, please.

16:47 Guest I'm serious.

16:48 Drew I'd like to talk to him some more.

16:49 Adam Oh, no, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. Let me talk to this Ray. Did you just cut him off? Hold on a second. No, he can still hear us.

16:54 Caller Yes, I can hear you now.

16:55 Adam All right, Ray, listen to me.

16:56 Caller Yes, sir.

16:57 Adam Don't think so much. Don't analyze so much. You just got out of a heavy relationship. It's only been a couple of months. You're rebounding. You're wrestling with some feelings. That's fine. That's to be expected.

17:08 Drew Yes.

17:08 Adam Don't be too harsh on yourself. Don't judge yourself too much. Just relax and see how it goes.

17:14 Drew Don't be so focused on these idealized relationships. They're not real.

17:18 Adam All right. Kyle. Yeah. Drew's goal is to get everyone to call in the show to kill themselves. Admit it, Drew. That's your goal. Kyle.

17:25 He was tired. He just put Triplets to bed. He's had it.

17:27 Just the host.

17:28 Adam Kyle, you're 18. What's going on?

17:31 Caller Well, my girlfriend called me probably a couple of three weeks back. She said, I'm sorry, we can't date anymore. I'm getting married.

17:38 Drew That's nice.

17:39 Adam How does she know you're getting married?

17:42 Caller She's getting married.

17:43 Guest How old is she?

17:43 Caller She was 18 too.

17:44 Guest She's getting married and she's 18 years old?

17:46 Caller Oh, yeah.

17:47 Guest That's not a good decision.

17:48 Caller Yeah. Well, hey, she was going to do it when she was 16, but her dad said no.

17:52 Drew So the same guy?

17:53 Caller No, a different guy.

17:54 Drew Where did she meet this president?

17:56 Caller She met the other guy when she was going to school. And then now the second guy she met because well, she went up to Colorado. I'm at Phoenix. She went to Colorado to help her sister who was like eight and a half months pregnant and getting a little sick.

18:08 Drew How old is she?

18:10 Caller Her sister is 23.

18:12 Adam And she moved in with her sister?

18:14 Caller Yeah, she lived with her sister. And then so after about she was up there for about a month and a half, she gave me a call. She was coming down in a couple of weeks. She gave me a call. She's like, hey, I'm not going to come back. I'm getting married.

18:27 Adam All right. Well, what is your question?

18:29 Caller Well, my question is, I guess, my ex-girlfriend before her left me for a crackhead. So I was just wondering what I've tried to analyze, like my family history. You guys are always talking about that, but I really don't see it, at least in a female type of sense.

18:44 Drew Why you would choose this kind of woman.

18:46 Caller Exactly.

18:47 Drew Well, it basically goes under the large heading of co-dependency, right? You might read some literature about that. It's the need to fix people or have projects in people.

18:57 Caller Well, no, because I hate that quality in people. I don't look for a fixer.

19:01 Drew You get them.

19:03 Guest Well, you didn't notice red flags. If there's somebody who wanted to get married at 16, and then is prone to falling into another engagement at the age of 18, you didn't notice there were perhaps emotional needs that she had that were too needy, red flags that were there, that this is a girl that feels that there's safety in getting married or safety in such a young age, pairing off with a man. Did she seem overly needy to you when you were dating?

19:28 Caller No, not really.

19:30 Adam It's going to look a third.

19:31 Guest Well, you didn't find that when you were, that it was a little odd that a 16-year-old wanted to be married when you started dating her?

19:37 Caller There were a couple of side comments, but it wasn't like an overtone. I don't know.

19:41 Adam Maybe I missed it.

19:42 Guest How old are you? You're 18? Yeah. Well, you know, maybe that's just, you're just, you know, 18 is a hard age anyway, and you're going to have a lot more relationships.

19:51 Drew Either that or he's the emotionally unavailable, a quasi-abusive guy they all want. And, you know, this kind of person to look for.

19:58 Guest I don't mean to laugh. I'm sorry.

19:59 Adam It looks good. Your dad's an asshole?

20:02 Caller Yeah, that might be it.

20:03 Drew Well, there you go. I mean, if that's your model for how to treat women, they're looking for a hole sometimes, and they may not stay long in those relationships, and it may blindside you, but the fact that you're not real available is exactly what they want.

20:16 Adam Well, your name's Kyle, so you're halfway home.

20:17 Guest But also 18, how emotionally available is an 18-year-old expected to be?

20:22 Drew We've got these clingy, vulnerable guys too, right? They could go for somebody like that, but they don't. Yeah.

20:27 Adam Hey, Kyle?

20:28 Caller Yeah.

20:29 Adam I hate to give the same advice twice, but don't think about it too much. All right. Just pick your partners a little more carefully.

20:35 Drew The mood you're in tonight for Crying Out Loud, would you use your brain for a second?

20:37 Guest You're young, Kyle. You're young. Get back out there.

20:40 Adam He's 18 years old. Just relax.

20:42 Guest Go to college. I am. Okay. Enjoy college.

20:46 Adam Read.

20:46 Guest Read more.

20:47 Adam We're talking about real college.

20:49 Guest Read more.

20:50 Adam Okay. Good. ASU. ASU. This is junior college with just a larger campus. All right. Listen, I shouldn't talk. I didn't go to real college. Victor?

21:03 Caller Hey.

21:03 Adam Hey, you're 22.

21:05 Caller What's going on?

21:05 Adam What's happening?

21:06 Caller I love your show, so I want to tell you that. Thanks. I love you guys. I've been listening to you guys for a couple of years and everything. Call up to basically talk to Janine. Tell her that I think she's doing a fabulous job. What she's doing basically makes me feel a lot better about myself.

21:19 Guest Oh, thank you.

21:20 Caller As far as I know, another comment from another caller earlier about the lookism and all that stuff like that. Yeah, basically, I love you. I've almost obsessed with you for the last four years. But other than that, I think you're an awesome person. Thank you. You all are awesome people. I try to watch you on Hollywood Squares and all that kind of stuff.

21:39 Guest Oh, you guys run Hollywood Squares?

21:41 Guest Yeah, I got a question for you guys about that.

21:42 Adam I think they're rerunning it.

21:43 Guest He has a question about Hollywood Squares.

21:44 Caller Yeah, this is a stupid thing, okay? My roommate was telling me that you guys basically get the answers to the jokes or something ahead of, like the answers to the show ahead of time.

21:52 Drew You get the questions. You get the questions ahead.

21:54 Caller Yeah, so you can basically figure out something clever to say. Is that true?

21:57 Drew You try to figure out a bluff is really the idea.

21:59 Caller Is that true?

22:00 Adam Yes.

22:01 Caller Oh, great. I thought it was on the top of your head and everything.

22:03 Drew They give you some lame ideas for bluffs.

22:05 Caller Oh, jeez.

22:05 Drew But we didn't take any of them, did we?

22:08 Adam No, they give you jokes too. Yeah.

22:10 Caller They actually give you example jokes.

22:12 Adam Oh, yes.

22:13 Drew Oh, yes.

22:13 Guest I bet they're hilarious.

22:14 Drew Oh, yes.

22:15 Adam Retarded.

22:16 Caller All right, forget it. Okay. Well, hey, just know that Janine, you're always in my heart.

22:19 Drew I love you.

22:20 Guest Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

22:21 Caller I had to get drunk to call up and talk to you, just so you know.

22:24 Guest Hey, thanks again.

22:25 Drew I'm sorry, Dr. Drew.

22:26 Caller I know you're probably upset to hear that.

22:27 Drew I'm not upset, but...

22:28 Guest You sound lucid. Good for you. You can hold your mud there.

22:31 Adam Good for you.

22:31 I love you guys. All of you.

22:33 Adam Victor? The teleprompter just went down here, so I got to go to commercial.

22:38 Drew I love you.

22:38 Adam We got to reboot that thing.

22:39 Drew Speaking of talking about the questions they give you at the Hollywood Squares, remember they had a television camera there, the ET or something was in the store, and I went up and said, hey, well, here's the questions. We're reviewing them. You got all pissed off.

22:49 Adam Such a jackass. The ET people were trying to do some, yeah, trying to do some sort of impromptu interview as we were hitting the stage at Hollywood Squares, and Drew whips out the note cards and goes, yeah, they gave us all the questions. And so we came up with some of our own answers. And I'm like, you idiot, they're not going to air that. The Hollywood Squares people are not going to let you wave around the card that says, you get all the questions in advance, Drew.

23:15 Guest Quiz show. It's like the quiz show scandal.

23:17 Drew But they should know this thing works.

23:19 Guest I think a lot of people do know.

23:21 Adam No, they're not. My grandfather, my grandfather thought that Paul Lynn was a bonafide, comedic genius for 25 years and he went to his grave thinking that. I mean, I used to watch Hollywood Squares when I was a kid and he would just go, that Paul, Hank, he is so quick witted.

23:44 Guest Maybe he was writing his own witty retorts.

23:46 Adam Paul, what do you do with a lady finger? Ignore it and keep on driving. My grandfather would fall out of his chair. He is a genius. How quick can a mind work? I wish I'd known what I knew now.

24:01 Guest That's why he was the center square.

24:03 Adam I'm going to dig him up and tell him this. You want to come? We're going to night. Yes. All right. Jeanine Garavolo is here. Drew is taking a whiz. I'm going to go to the vending machine. Jeanine is going to think about that last break and how she can improve herself and we'll be back after this.

24:20 Caller Loveline, be right back in a minute.

24:48 Adam Who is the loveline? I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dave Navarro is our guest tonight. Hello. And Dave has himself a book that will be coming out real soon called Trust No One. Also website www.6767.com. You can see some highlights and some previews from the book. It's got a solo project coming out soon and the book to follow that. And tonight, he's here on Loveline. So we'll go back to the phones and speak to Lisa. It's 24. Lisa? Yes. What's up?

25:26 Caller Like I told the screener, I've been with my boyfriend for about six or six and a half years and I've never had an orgasm.

25:32 Adam Well, give it another six or seven years. I mean, you're really asking a lot.

25:38 Caller Is it never with him or just never ever?

25:40 Caller Never. Well, he's the only person I've been with. I've never had one.

25:44 Drew That's what they mean by yourself is what I think Dave is referring to.

25:47 Caller Well, yeah. Well, see, I've only been doing that masturbating for about a year. I've never tried it before. Then all of a sudden, I was like, this is not working so I'm going to try myself. But I don't know if it's in my mind that I can't or.

26:07 Caller Let me ask this. Have you guys looked into other methods such as vibrators and other methods? I know there's books about the G-spot, for instance, that you can go out and get and learn about that. There's somewhat of a scientific approach you might have to take to it, but if it gets you where you need to go, why not?

26:27 Caller Yeah. Well, we have explored books and stuff, but it seems like I get to it, but then I can't.

26:35 Adam How much oral sex is he doing on you?

26:37 Caller Plenty.

26:38 Adam Plenty?

26:38 Caller Yeah.

26:39 Adam Is there a reason why? Do you feel like you're holding back? Were you ever traumatized? Do you not want to let that go or give that to him in any way?

26:47 Caller I don't know. Maybe. I mean, he's the only guy that I've been with, so...

26:51 Adam No. Was there anything, you know, were you abandoned or abused? Or is there any weird daddy kind of issues floating around?

26:59 Caller No.

27:01 Adam All right. So it's not a situation where you don't want to have the orgasm with him because you don't want to have that bond with him. It's more like he can't shake it loose. Right?

27:10 Caller Yeah.

27:11 Drew Or are you that involved with him?

27:13 Caller Yeah. I mean, we've gone through everything together, so...

27:17 Drew What is everything?

27:18 Caller What do you mean? Like, family problems and, you know...

27:22 Drew Your family problems?

27:23 Caller Both of us.

27:24 Drew What are your family problems?

27:26 Caller I mean, just like...

27:28 Caller Just good times and bad times, right? Yeah, exactly. When he has oral sex with you, when he performs oral sex, does he use his mouth and his fingers?

27:38 Caller Well, he doesn't both do at the same time, but he does...

27:40 Caller He might want to.

27:42 Adam I use my mouth and fingers, but the fingers are on the TV remote.

27:45 Caller Yeah.

27:46 Adam My mouth is on the telephone, and I use the business end of the telephone on him. See, that's my technique.

27:51 Caller Because there's a little position he can make with his hands. With his two fingers pointed out, like his pointer finger and his middle finger, and then with his pinky and his ring finger curled under, kind of like he's making a fake gun, you stick the two big fingers in the opening, you got your thumb for clitoral stimulation, and use your tongue, and then the knuckles can go into the anus.

28:14 Adam Nice.

28:14 Caller You get like a triplet thing happening there.

28:16 Adam And if you're wearing like a graduation ring, you got a quadruplet happening.

28:22 Drew That's why the Super Bowl rings are so popular.

28:24 Adam Wow. That is a nice technique. That is good. I like that. Yeah. All right. Well, he may want to incorporate the cowboy method, the fake gun. But also, I think that Lisa needs to get in touch with herself a little bit more. She's only been masturbating. Can you imagine? She didn't start masturbating until the age of 23. Guys would not stand for this.

28:49 Drew Guys would kill themselves.

28:51 Adam Not only would the guy kill themselves, but my friends found out I wasn't masturbating at 16 and were outraged. I mean, they said, listen, buddy, you better start jacking off or you're not going to be hanging around with us anymore. They were really outraged. They were like, we've been doing it for two years now. What the hell is this? I was like, I don't know. I don't know how it works. Okay. Sit down. Figure this out. Yeah. That's what friends do. Right, Dave?

29:18 Caller Yeah. I was doing it before I understood what I was doing. I was masturbating before I knew that it was a sexual thing I was doing.

29:24 Adam Well, I mean like when you're like five or something. But when did you actually achieve results? Because other than that...

29:30 Caller I actually remember it because it was scary. It was exciting and scary.

29:34 Adam You thought your soul was coming out?

29:36 Caller I don't know what I thought it was. It just was, you know, I remember specifically laying on the couch, watching daytime TV after school. And then here we go, you know, and the moment came and I was scared and I thought something was wrong. And then the next thing I know, I was very excited.

29:51 Adam Right.

29:51 Caller And I wanted to try it again. And it didn't happen the second time.

29:53 Adam Oh, no. No.

29:55 Caller It kind of like worked on its own.

29:57 Adam How old were you? Were you like 13 or 14?

29:59 Caller When that happened, I was about 11 or 12.

30:01 Adam Wow. That's pretty good.

30:03 Drew That's about right.

30:04 Adam Is that early? 11 or 12? 11 or 12 is...

30:06 Drew It's about right.

30:07 Adam 11 is early.

30:08 Drew 11's early.

30:09 Adam 12's early, too.

30:09 Drew Maybe 12's about right. 12, 13.

30:11 Adam Really?

30:12 Drew 13, most guys are in stride.

30:13 Caller I still remember what I was thinking about.

30:15 Drew You were late.

30:15 Adam I was way late, but I've been doubling down ever since.

30:18 Drew I know.

30:19 Adam At a frantic pace to try to make up for that 14, 15 months. But when I first did it, it took me an hour and 45 minutes. And I remember my thought was, well, that was good, but there's no way I can do that more than once a month. I mean, I don't have that much energy. I'll burst a vessel in my forehead. I've got a calf cramp, you know. There's not enough room in the house. I mean, the lock on the doors isn't big enough. And it was never like once, maybe twice a month. Within three weeks, I was squeezing one off like in the kitchen when my mom's head was in the refrigerator, you know. So I think I can get one real quick. It's amazing, isn't it? You know what I'm talking about. You do tend to hone your skills. Brandi?

31:06 Hi.

31:07 Adam You're 17.

31:08 Caller Yes.

31:08 Adam What's up?

31:09 Caller I read in Cosmo that a man's G-spot was up his butt. I was just wondering if that's true.

31:15 Adam Yeah.

31:16 Drew Men don't have a G-spot.

31:17 Caller They said it has a G-spot, a C-spot, and a V-spot.

31:20 Drew All right. Stop reading Cosmo.

31:21 Adam What is that?

31:21 Drew Throw that, burn that crap.

31:23 Adam What is the V-spot?

31:24 Caller She's talking about that area, the prostate.

31:27 Drew The perineum is in between.

31:29 Caller Yeah. That's what it said. C-spot, V-spot, and a G-spot.

31:33 Adam Okay. So the G-spot is in the rectum, right? And the C-spot is where?

31:38 Caller Somewhere around the head by the circumcision.

31:41 Adam Yeah. I could go for that.

31:43 Caller Okay. And then the...

31:44 Caller The underneath thing, right?

31:44 Caller The V-spot is a little V right there from the circumcision.

31:47 Adam All right. Well, what are you guys using?

31:49 Caller So this is more like information than a question.

31:51 Caller Yeah.

31:52 Adam Or using a pointer stick or to...

31:55 Caller I don't know.

31:56 That's why I...

31:56 Adam Using calipers to give the guy a hand job. Just cover the whole area.

32:02 Caller Excuse me?

32:02 Adam Let me tell you something.

32:03 What?

32:05 Adam The penis. That's where you should focus the bulk of your attention.

32:08 Caller I was just wondering, because maybe that's why people, guys become gay because they like to be...

32:12 Drew No. No, Brandy. No, no, no, no. What do you mean, no? Brandy, no.

32:16 Caller The cosmos lion.

32:18 Drew Most guys that are gay just engage in oral sex anyway. They don't do any anal stuff.

32:22 Adam Well, not as much.

32:23 Drew They don't...

32:23 Adam Not as much as I'd like to see them do.

32:26 Caller You can highlight as many spots as you want, and the guy's going to...

32:29 Adam Still focus on the penis.

32:30 Drew What's that, Brandy?

32:31 Caller I said, guys always want to do chicks with the butt, so I mean, you figure, I don't know.

32:35 Drew Yeah, they want to do that to women as an aggressive act. They don't want anybody to do anything to them. In fact, the guys that want to do that to women react very strongly when you suggest somebody do something to them, negatively.

32:45 Adam Yeah. Yeah, OK, so you got the G spot, the V spot, and then if you try to put anything up my rectum, you have the C spot run, which is a little variation on that. All right, Brandy, you'll focus all your attention on the penis and God and family.

33:03 Caller OK.

33:03 Adam OK. Hey, listen, Brandy, I see your candidate for early pregnancy.

33:09 Caller Excuse me?

33:11 Adam I smell trouble for you down the road. I can hear by your voice and you're already looking into stimulating the rectum.

33:18 Caller Well, I was just reading it.

33:19 Drew Well, that's an evil rag. Fjord out, burn it.

33:23 Adam Yes, I understand.

33:25 Drew Seriously, it's not, it's fueling you with everything you don't need to be a woman.

33:29 Caller I know how to make an IUD out of a paper clip.

33:31 Adam Really?

33:31 Caller If later on someone wants me to fax that back to MacGyver.

33:35 Adam That's great. Hey, some of the newer paper clips are sort of IUD shaped already.

33:41 Drew Yeah, the plastic ones. We need a copper.

33:44 Adam Is that what they use?

33:45 Drew Progesterone soaked or something.

33:47 Adam All right. I think I can help you out in that department. Where are we here, Drew? John?

33:52 Yeah?

33:53 Adam You're 13.

33:55 Caller Yep.

33:55 Adam Oh, brother. What's up?

33:58 Caller Well, okay, this girl. I've been going out with her since I was like 11, two years. I've known her since I was like six. We've grown up together. At one time, her mom was living with us, and she was living with her dad, and, you know, like best of friends.

34:18 Adam Right.

34:18 Caller And then, okay, I'm in eighth grade, and in fifth grade, I asked her out. I've been going out with her ever since. I want to be a virgin until I'm ready, and that's going to be way from now.

34:32 Adam You asked her out, though, in the fifth grade?

34:34 Caller Yes. I've been going out with her ever since.

34:36 Adam For three years?

34:37 Caller Yes.

34:38 Adam Okay.

34:38 Drew What's your question?

34:39 Caller And all of a sudden, she breaks up with me because she's pregnant, and she's been cheating on me since like 16 years old. And she's pregnant.

34:48 Drew She's how old?

34:50 Caller She's thirteen. And it's just like I can't think, I can't do anything, I'm like getting an F in school, and it's just bothering me.

34:59 Drew Yeah. Okay. Well, listen, John, is there anybody you can talk to about this? Any adult, parent, teacher, anything like that?

35:04 Caller Oh, God. No.

35:06 Drew Well, not so much about what all happened here.

35:08 Adam Not her being pregnant necessarily.

35:10 Drew Yeah. I mean, her out of your life is a good thing. She's not who you thought she was. Okay. She's turning into somebody different.

35:15 Adam Well, you knew there was trouble when her mom came to live with your family. That's always a bad sign when people come to live with other people. I don't know why.

35:24 Drew Did he say that?

35:25 Adam Yes. John said that the mother of this young girl came to stay with them earlier in the conversation. Right, John?

35:33 Drew Yeah.

35:33 Adam Yeah. That means like alcoholic dad is doing some beating on somebody.

35:38 Drew Yeah. They had to get out.

35:39 Adam And that always trickles down to the poor little girl.

35:42 Drew Yeah.

35:42 Adam So John, she's on a different schedule than you are. And it's all right because yours is a little slower, a little safer, a little healthier.

35:51 Drew But you are depressed and you need to talk to somebody about that because it's affecting your functioning at school and whatnot and it can have some consequences and it can be dealt with if you just open up and talk to a couple of adults at school, teacher, somebody. Let somebody know how you're feeling. Not necessarily why, but just how you're feeling.

36:08 Adam And let me pose this question to our panel, Drew and Dave. I have the feeling that this is almost a rite of passage for men and for women too that the pain, the heartache that you have to go through.

36:22 Drew The first dump?

36:23 Adam The first breakup, the first one, it just seems to be the deepest. It really does. And I personally didn't go through it till I was like 22. And I was ruined because it's like getting chicken pox as an adult as opposed to as a kid. It's bad either way but you somehow can bounce back a little better. Is it better to do this at 13 and sort of get it out, get it over with? I mean not over with but under your belt?

36:51 Caller I'll tell you for me, my first one was I was about 13, 13, 14. And it was the most painful one I've ever gone through. And I'll tell you what this kid has that I didn't have is I didn't reach out to anybody. I didn't call anybody a show. I didn't ask for help about anything. And this guy has got a head start and maybe that pain isn't going to have to sit with you John forever.

37:13 Adam It's too bad too because I was 19 years ago, I think Drew was doing the show those in his 50 years. Here, weren't you Drew?

37:22 Drew 13 years ago, yeah. Oh, Dave, when Dave...

37:24 Adam You were doing it with Poor Man's Dad I think at the time?

37:27 Drew Yeah, sure.

37:28 Adam All right, we'll take a little break. Dave Navarro is here, a very candid Dave Navarro, which we like, and we will repay him by giving his projects extra plugs. I'm going to go look at his website right now, and we'll come back after this. Hey, it's the Love Line. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Stephen Greger both here from Smash Mouth. Astro Lounge is the name of the newest CD, and I don't know how many of the things are sold, but I'm sure if it hasn't gone gold already, it will by the time the show's over. And let's get back to the phones. I think you had it on Comedy Central.

38:33 Drew I did, but it's The Daily Show.

38:35 Adam No, all right. Christy.

38:39 Drew Christy?

38:40 Yes?

38:40 Adam You're 21. What's going on?

38:44 Caller I've been dating a guy for five years now. And he is absolutely obsessed with anal sex.

38:52 Adam Very healthy.

38:53 Drew He's always been that way?

38:54 Caller Yes. Yeah. He's always been very interested in that. And he tries to talk me into it, which of course, I've done for him a few times, but I just don't understand the interest.

39:06 Adam How old is he? And you say you've been with him for how long?

39:10 Caller Five years since we were sixteen.

39:13 Adam He only got you a couple of times in that five years?

39:16 Caller Well, anal sex, yes.

39:18 Adam Yeah. He's no used car salesman, this guy. This guy's in it one every two and a half years or so. Yeah, so you didn't like it?

39:27 Drew What's your question?

39:27 Caller Oh, no. I was wondering if it's normal.

39:30 Adam Did he be obsessed with it?

39:32 Caller Yeah.

39:32 Adam Well, it's definitely an act against God and nature. There's no doubt about that. But some guys are into it. I don't trust those guys completely because I find, and I've gotten guys who are into this to admit it. I mean, listen, all guys, there's nothing wrong with a little experimentation, a little dabbling. But the guys that are really sort of hell-bent on the bung, it's always a little bit of a power thing to me. It's not so much, now they'll tell you, oh, it's tight. I went to high school with a guy. It feels good. I just like the way it feels. It's great sensation. That's badass. The reality is, it's a little bit of a power play. It's a little misogyny.

40:08 Guest Our drummer, Kevin and I know a guy that, it's his fetish, man. That's all he is into.

40:14 Drew It is kind of a fetish.

40:15 Guest He's basically, but I heard that he even takes it like a step farther. He's pinching his own nipples and just doing his own thing.

40:22 Adam I would say that this guy doesn't like women in a certain way.

40:27 Guest That's not necessarily true.

40:29 Caller That's my question, exactly.

40:31 Guest Is he affectionate with you? Does he hang out? I mean, is he?

40:34 Caller Yeah, he's cool, but he works with a lot of gay men at work.

40:40 Adam Well, there you go.

40:41 Caller And he has a lot of friends.

40:44 Guest Tell him to wear a condom because if he's hanging out with gay guys, you never know what the hell he's doing behind somebody's door.

40:49 Adam I don't trust this guy and it seems like five years. Is it going? All right, we got to go in there. We're going to play a little Smash Mouth song.

40:55 Guest Get yourself checked.

40:56 Adam Yeah, what song are we playing? We're playing All-Star, Smash Mouth. Well, there you have it. Some more great smash mouth for you. Astro Lounge is the name of the latest CD, and I know I've said this before, but I'm always happy, and I know I speak for Drew and the rest of the Loveliners. When I say it's, we're always happy when a band that's not only a good band, but good friends goes on and continues their success. We always have our fingers crossed, and I know it's kind of an iffy business, and you come out and you have some success, and you sell some records, and then three years, five years, eight years goes by in like a blink of an eye, and you go, what the hell happened to those? We had Pink Dot working on the counter. What happened to that Right Said Fred? Those guys were doing good for a while.

44:54 Guest You know who came to our show the other night? It was such a scam, too, because Frankie goes to Hollywood. But it was his brother that showed up, saying he thinks he goes to Hollywood or something. He's a country kid.

45:08 Adam Really?

45:08 Guest I didn't know he was from like, he's like walks in, what's he all doing?

45:11 Adam I thought Frankie goes to Hollywood, he's from England.

45:13 Guest So did I. It's the same thing. Everybody thought that.

45:16 Adam Well, Smash Mouth is back with a new CD, and it's debuted in the top 10, and we just couldn't be happier. I really mean it. Let me see if we can squeeze in one more before we go to break. Matt? Matt?

45:29 Caller Yeah?

45:30 Adam You're 15.

45:31 Caller Yeah.

45:31 Adam After masturbation, you go deaf in one ear?

45:34 Caller Well, no. I can't hear out of one ear.

45:36 Caller Yeah.

45:38 Caller I was wondering what the-

45:38 Guest Did you talk to Drew?

45:39 Adam No.

45:40 Caller Yeah.

45:41 Drew Well, do you get a ringing in the ear, and it goes out for a few seconds, or do you go totally deaf in that ear?

45:45 Caller Well, no.

45:45 Caller It's not totally deaf.

45:46 Caller It's for five minutes after, and it's just not completely.

45:50 Caller I can just feel a little bit of not fairness.

45:53 Adam Oh, I miss those days when I can hit myself in the ear.

45:56 Guest Yeah, because you're shooting it in your ear or something?

45:58 Drew No, I wonder if it's just sort of like a TMJ, tightening of the muscles up there or something. It's really not a true alteration of sensation.

46:06 Adam Yeah. Let me make this observation. When you're having sex or even masturbating, you do a lot of stuff that you normally wouldn't do. I mean, you would have stopped a long time ago. You ever see people, and it's like all the skin is taken off on their knees, and you go, oh, man, what happened to you, dude? You fall off more so? No, I got laid. What happened? We were like on the carpet, we were doing it doggy, and it's like- We were doing it doggy. And you're like, well, yeah, but weren't you wreathing and writhing in pain? I mean, no, I didn't even feel it because, shut up, Drew, because you're going. You know what I'm saying? And that's, once in a while, you masturbate, you get that calf ball. Oh, all those cramps?

46:47 Guest You gotta stop and stretch your leg out and go, oh, God, honey, hold on.

46:51 Adam Right, now normally, you would have stopped 15 minutes earlier, but the problem was is you were having sex or your penis was in your hand and you didn't feel anything and you weren't going to stop.

46:59 Guest Enjoy the silence, at least you can't hear anybody.

47:01 Adam People get high on PCP and the cops shoot them with those tasers and they just keep coming. Same thing.

47:07 Guest And he's like, you want to meet my little friend?

47:08 Drew There also are migrant-est phenomenas that people can get. They can get strange headaches and visual disturbances. And I suppose perhaps some auditory problems, but I don't know.

47:16 Guest It'll be okay.

47:17 Adam All right, we're going to take a little break.

47:18 Caller Loveline, be right back in a minute.

47:46 Adam It is Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout, and we'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

47:54 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

48:08 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Tommy Lee and Tila are both here from Methods of Mayhem. The fabulous Loveline. And we'll get to the phones. Christine?

48:19 Hi.

48:20 Adam You're 21. What's up?

48:22 Caller First of all, I have to say hi to you, Adam.

48:24 Adam All right.

48:25 Caller You are so funny.

48:26 Adam Oh, thanks.

48:26 Caller And I have to say hi to Tommy Lee.

48:28 Caller Hello, how are you?

48:29 Caller Fine, how are you?

48:31 Caller I'm great.

48:32 Caller My problem is, is I've been married for four years. And in that four years, I haven't been able to be turned on at all or have an orgasm.

48:44 Drew How about before that four-year period?

48:46 Caller Before?

48:48 Drew Before you were 17.

48:49 Caller Before I was 17? I hadn't had sex before I got married.

48:56 Adam Oh, really? This is one more argument for getting it on before you get married, everybody. So, is this, do you suspect, you have nothing to compare this guy to.

49:06 Caller No.

49:06 Adam But do you suspect there's something up with him or are you guys not compatible or what's up?

49:12 Caller I think it's me, really.

49:13 Adam What's up with you?

49:14 Caller I don't know. That's what I want to know.

49:17 Adam Wow, you're pretty giddy for someone who doesn't like sex.

49:20 Drew Why do you, how old's your husband?

49:21 Caller He is 37.

49:24 Drew Oh, wait a minute now. He married you when he was 33 and you were 17?

49:29 Adam Yes. When did he meet you?

49:32 Caller When I was 16.

49:33 Adam You were 16, he was 32? Wow.

49:36 Drew Are you on the run now from your parents?

49:39 Caller No.

49:40 Adam Were you at the time?

49:42 Probably a little bit.

49:43 Adam Yeah.

49:44 Probably a little bit.

49:45 Adam A little bit. Yeah. Let me explain the part about being on the lamb. You're either on the lamb or off the lamb. You're not near the lamb or dragging next to the lamb or pacing the lamb. You're either on or you're off. It's so true with fugitives and people that have left the house and stuff. It's like either you're in your house and you can be there or you're out of the house and you really can't be there. But there's never that sort of why I can just have a foot in. So what was going on at home that was so screwed up?

50:14 Caller Well, my dad was kind of mentally abusive. And maybe a little physically abusive.

50:23 Adam So you sort of just hooked up with the first life preserver that floated by, right?

50:28 Caller Exactly. Yeah.

50:29 Drew Well, when women are not emotionally involved in a relationship, it is sometimes very difficult for them to function sexually.

50:37 Adam We don't trust this guy.

50:39 Drew They either have to be acting something out or have to be involved one or the other.

50:42 Adam Two choices. Either they got to be some crazy bitch who is just on some sort of bizarre sexual autopilot who has cast some sort of play and you become daddy or whatever, in which case it is the best sex of your life, that kind of stripper stuff, or they have to just really be together and in love with you. But that is pretty rare. Christine, you are just sort of floating in between somewhere. So what about this guy? I don't trust him. What kind of guy is he?

51:12 Drew A 33-year-old picking up with a 16-year-old.

51:14 Adam Yeah.

51:15 Caller What kind of guy is he?

51:16 Caller Where did you guys meet?

51:17 Caller He is my brother's best friend.

51:20 Drew How old is your brother?

51:21 Caller My brother is 37.

51:23 Adam All right. So what's this guy do for a living?

51:26 Caller He is a roofer.

51:27 Adam A roofer.

51:29 Caller That's all bad.

51:30 Adam The drywallers make fun of roofers. Do you understand?

51:34 Drew Do the tin knockers make fun of him?

51:35 Adam Tin knockers and sheet rockers make fun of roofers. No. Even laborers. Yeah. Even in the El Salvadorian guys, you may not be able to understand them, but they're making fun of the roofers. Because you got to deal with that hot mop as a roofer. That big kettle full of that tar that's burning. Oh man. Hey, Christine? Do you have any kids? Yes.

51:59 Drew Oh, wait a minute. Where do you live, Christine?

52:02 Caller I live in Utah.

52:04 Drew Maybe she knows about those pegs we were looking at on the roofs in Washington, DC.

52:09 Adam No, she doesn't know. How many kids do you have?

52:12 Caller One.

52:12 Adam Okay. Is this guy good to you? Do you love him?

52:17 Drew Okay. Say no more.

52:18 Caller No.

52:20 Drew Is he bad to you?

52:20 Caller Took too long. Sometimes he is, yes.

52:24 Adam Yeah.

52:24 Caller Sometimes he's very insulting.

52:26 Adam Yeah. Listen, we know this guy's flawed because he's the same 32-year-old who picked you up when you were 16.

52:34 Drew Yep.

52:35 Adam And he's a roofer.

52:36 Drew I mean, you're not even in your 30s yet, Christine. Imagine that now. Imagine a 21-year-old picking up a 16-year-old.

52:42 Adam Yeah.

52:43 Drew What does that look like to you now? What does that look like to you now?

52:45 Caller Oh, I don't know. Probably the biggest mistake of my life.

52:48 Drew No, no, no. Not your mistake particularly. But think about a 21-year-old peer of yours reaching down into early high school and picking up a girl.

52:57 Adam Right.

52:57 Drew Now add 10 years to that guy.

52:59 Adam All right. So here's the question, and a lot of talk. Here's the question, what does someone like Christine do? Is this thing just a mess that was never should have been? Or do you just try to work it out? I mean, what do you do? You got a kid? This guy's not the kind of guy who's going to go to counseling.

53:19 Drew Is he? No? No. Well, Christine takes care of herself, first of all. She gets maybe support involved in whatever activities and gratify her. I mean, she needs to build herself up.

53:31 Adam But should she just get divorced and take the kid and sort of start a new life?

53:35 Drew No, I would say get a supportive network of peers, get involved in something. Are you involved in church or anything like that?

53:41 Caller No.

53:41 Drew Is that something that's important to you?

53:45 Caller Not really.

53:46 Drew Is any sort of activities or hobbies anything like that you're into? Kids school?

53:52 Caller No.

53:53 Drew Are you just isolated?

53:54 Caller Well, I've got them depression.

53:57 Drew You've got depression. You're under care?

53:59 Caller Yeah.

53:59 Drew Do you have any support groups? Do they send you any groups for that?

54:02 Caller No.

54:03 I've been through counseling, but...

54:04 Drew How about some group therapies?

54:06 Caller I've been through it, but not lately.

54:08 Drew Well, why don't you get back involved? My thing is get her as much support as possible so she can grow and at least start to feel okay again and figure out what the hell she wants to do. We're not going to make any decisions for her.

54:19 Adam Speaking of counseling, it's real windy outside. A tree fell on my cable line. Six TVs, no cable.

54:29 Drew You got all your videos. You ever watch cable?

54:32 Adam Yeah, I do. I'm going to have to go home with one of you tonight. Is that cool?

54:36 Caller Tommy's got massive TVs.

54:37 Adam Tommy, you got TV, right?

54:38 Caller We got the dish going.

54:40 Adam You got an extra room. I'm not going to rip anything off or anything. It's all lovely.

54:43 Caller Come on, high.

54:44 Adam It's cool. I mean, I'll just leave in the morning. I mean, you know. You don't have to make breakfast or anything.

54:53 Caller We get up early around there. The kids wake up pretty early.

54:56 Adam Well, I sleep in.

54:57 Caller You've got to be out by like six.

54:58 Adam I'll just shut the door and put a towel in it, so I don't hear you guys. You got a big place, right? Because I swear I can't live without cable.

55:09 Drew You've got to get the direct TV.

55:11 Adam I got to make a move. I'll tell you something because I am so pathetic that I have the time when I watch TV, certain times. I don't watch TV all day, but then there are times when I watch it and I have to watch it. One of the times is at 1230 when I come home from this show, but the other time is about an hour before I leave for this show, especially Sunday night. I turn on the TV, I realized the cable was out. It was 8.45 at night. I'm not exaggerating at all. 8.45 tonight, I realized the cable's out. I pace around for a little, and I think, what could I do? Then I think, oh my God, I have to read. Then I start spazzing out, and then I say, you know what I'll do? I'll take a nap. I took a 22-minute nap. I set my little egg timer and I slept for 22 minutes because I didn't know how to cope with no cable.

55:58 Caller With being alone by yourself.

56:00 Adam Yeah, I was pacing around.

56:02 Caller Panicking.

56:02 Adam I was getting a little sweaty and I was thinking, I don't know what I'm going to do. Then I thought, that's it, I'll just nap. I'll wake up and magically maybe the cable will be working, and it wasn't, but I had to leave for work. I don't know if I go with Tommy or I check in to hotel tonight or something. I do have videos. Maybe you're right.

56:19 Drew I didn't know you ever got away from your videos. How is there enough time on the day?

56:22 Adam I save about three minutes at the end of the evening for the videos. But I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll just pop a video in and pretend I'm watching TV.

56:29 Drew You know the safe that you had?

56:30 Caller Yeah.

56:30 Drew He's got a walk-in vault that's just for videos.

56:32 Adam It's all porno.

56:33 Caller Really?

56:34 Adam That's right. But unlike you, I had it cemented into my basement so it couldn't be removed by-

56:39 Drew It's into the hillside, isn't it?

56:41 Adam Drew, I don't want to get into the specifics of it, you understand?

56:43 Caller Yeah, because now it'll show up missing.

56:45 Adam That's right. Ryan?

56:47 Yeah.

56:47 Adam You're 17.

56:49 Caller Yeah.

56:49 Adam What's up?

56:50 Caller I was just, hey, before I say anything, can I see how to Tommy?

56:53 Caller Yeah, what's up, man?

56:54 Caller What's up, Tom?

56:55 Caller I'm doing great. How's the ex, man? What's that?

56:57 Caller How's the ex, man?

56:58 Caller How's the ex?

56:59 Caller Yeah.

57:00 Caller Are you talking about my wife?

57:01 Caller Yes.

57:02 Caller Yeah.

57:02 Caller You're married to her?

57:03 Drew You guys aren't ex anymore.

57:05 Caller We're back together and we're going to get remarried, I think, in February sometime. We're thinking about Valentine's Day or something. But yeah, she's doing wonderful. My kids are great. It's all lovely.

57:15 Caller That's good, man.

57:16 Caller Thank you very much.

57:17 Caller It was weird because I went to Hollywood Squares today and we were talking about how Adam went there.

57:23 Adam He went to Hollywood Squares today?

57:24 Caller Yeah.

57:26 Caller Wiggy Goldberg gave me a T-shirt. It was the coolest thing.

57:28 Adam She gives everyone a T-shirt.

57:29 Caller Yeah, I know. Okay, anyway, it's a problem. Yeah. My girlfriend, she's pregnant. Yeah. She's been pregnant. She's like six months into the pregnancy. I just don't know how to tell my parents, man.

57:40 Drew She's how many months into the pregnancy?

57:42 Caller Six months.

57:43 Drew What does her parents think about this?

57:44 Caller Her parents. Well, her parents know.

57:47 Drew Yeah.

57:48 Caller But her parents won't tell my parents. It's for me to tell. That's how they feel about it. That's something that I need to tell them. But I don't know. My dad will flip.

57:56 Drew Are you living at home?

57:57 Caller What?

57:57 Drew Are you living at home?

57:58 Caller Yeah, I'm living at home.

57:59 Drew When are you planning on telling him?

58:01 Caller I don't know.

58:02 Adam Maybe on the kids' fifth birthday?

58:04 Caller Yeah, probably. No, I know I have to tell him.

58:08 Adam You're going to raise this kid?

58:10 Caller Yeah, of course.

58:10 Adam Are you going to get married?

58:12 Caller No, I'm only seven. Well, she's 16 years old.

58:15 Drew Ryan, if you're going to be a dad, part of that is having a stable relationship with the mom.

58:20 Adam Yeah. I love it. You know, it's so funny. Our listeners are like, hell yeah, I'm going to raise a kid. I'm going to take two jobs. I'm going to drop out of school. I'm going to make sure this kid has food in his mouth and clothes on his back. And I go, all right, you're going to get married? Uh, I'm not ready for that.

58:36 Drew Yeah, I'm only 17.

58:37 Adam I'm only 17.

58:38 Caller Come on.

58:39 Adam Let's not do anything hasty. I got my future to think about. It's like, yeah, you got a kid, though.

58:44 Caller Kids and kids are so expensive, man. You get these young kids having kids, man. You guys don't even have a clue as to what these kids cost, man. It's expensive.

58:57 Adam It is amazing, though, that you can raise a kid, you can raise a kid, like Drew's raising a kid, like Tommy's raising a kid, where Tilo's raising a kid. Tilo's raising a kid, but your kid's brand new, right? It's fresh off the boat. You don't have to sink a lot of money into them yet. I'm just saying, you start talking about preschools, you start talking about nannies and au pairs, you start talking about education and daycare and all this stuff, or you can go the economy route like my folks did, which is it. No sleeping bag. Drop in the pen, don't worry about, hey, that money we're going to spend on sleeping bags? Let's smoke it. I mean, but we were all raised, I mean, I was raised on like, it was like 50 cents a day or something. I mean, you don't have to. You should, you can, and I know Drew and Tommy, you probably couldn't see raising them any other way, but millions of people do it for nothing. You know what I mean? They live in a one-bedroom apartment with three of them, and they eat top ramen at night, and the aunt comes and looks after the kids instead of daycare. You know what I'm talking about? And it seems to work out somehow. It's just, you couldn't imagine how, could you?

1:00:09 Drew No.

1:00:10 Adam Each one of your kids cost you what? $1,500 a day?

1:00:13 Drew $1,500 a day.

1:00:14 Adam Easily, right?

1:00:14 Drew I've got the piano lessons, the ice skating lessons. I mean, it's like serious.

1:00:18 Adam Yeah.

1:00:18 Drew And then the schools, oh my god.

1:00:20 Adam Right. I mean, my sister, I got a two-year-old nephew. She's shopping around trying to get them into preschools. They won't accept the kid.

1:00:28 Drew That's the deal.

1:00:29 Adam It's $1,000 a month. I mean, two years old. And then there was, but then there was us. Look at us, we're here. We're on the radio. Yeah, hello, right now. Drew, your kids aren't gonna be on the radio.

1:00:44 Drew Doesn't that kind of sum it up right there?

1:00:46 Adam All right, idiot. Don't burst my bubble. No, but I mean, your kids will be, you know, they'll be making $35,000 a year as some sort of a teacher's assistant somewhere, but they'll play the violin.

1:00:57 Drew But they'll have a great appreciation for the human experience.

1:00:59 Adam That's right, and what they don't have. You know, that's the other thing too, is what you guys got to worry about, and maybe you too, T-Lo, is the kids taking a step down. I was talking about this with Drew the other day when I was over at his house with his kids' party. Drew's got a nice pad. His kids are growing up with everything they need. You know, we grew up, maybe we didn't have everything we needed, maybe we didn't live on a compound, maybe there was no Malibu estate or anything. So everything's up for us. I mean, you know, just moving into an apartment and we're taking a nice step up.

1:01:33 Guest Yeah, it's all lovely.

1:01:34 Adam Just getting a car with some air conditioning, boom, whoo, riding the crest of life. But your kids, and they ain't going to be hobos, but maybe they just make 40 grand a year, you know, maybe they work in some law office or something, you know what I mean? And then they got to move out of the compound and get themselves a little apartment in Sherman Oaks. You know what I'm saying?

1:01:57 Guest They're headed down.

1:01:58 Adam Smoggy.

1:01:59 Drew You know what I'm saying? That doesn't bother the ones going down as much as the ones needing to go up?

1:02:04 Adam Yeah. I think they just want to get away from all that and have some independence or something. But eventually it comes back to bother them a little. But I'm just saying, it's interesting. I don't want to spook you guys. But your kids probably aren't going to make more than you're making. And they're probably not going to live in a bigger house and have a nicer car. I mean, it's not going to be in terms of this lifestyle, travel, whatever. It's not going to be a more affluent lifestyle than what you guys are living. I mean, don't be mad at yourselves. I'm just saying. You know. All right.

1:02:44 Drew Just have a kid out of the way.

1:02:46 Adam No.

1:02:48 Drew Then we can talk.

1:02:49 Adam Sierra?

1:02:50 Yes.

1:02:50 Adam You're 19.

1:02:51 Caller Yes.

1:02:51 Adam What's up?

1:02:54 Caller I've been seeing this guy for about, I want to say, over two years. And I went out with some friends last night. And after the night was over, you know, we went our separate ways and everything. And this guy and I, we just, you know, hung out for a little while longer. And things got a bit hot and heavy between us. And we didn't sleep together or anything. But I feel really bad about it.

1:03:21 Adam What did you do?

1:03:23 Caller We fooled around.

1:03:24 Adam What kind of fooling around?

1:03:27 Caller Teased each other, you know. Ooh.

1:03:31 Adam Little teasing? Any oral sex?

1:03:34 Caller Very much teasing.

1:03:35 Adam Oral sex?

1:03:36 Caller No.

1:03:37 Drew It's not very much teasing, like intercourse?

1:03:39 Caller No. No intercourse. No oral sex.

1:03:43 Adam And some nudity?

1:03:45 Caller No nudity.

1:03:45 Adam Anybody have to wipe their hand off when they were done?

1:03:49 Caller Yeah.

1:03:49 Caller Did you guys play Burglar Victim?

1:03:52 Caller Huh?

1:03:52 Caller Burglar Victim? Any Burglar Victim going on?

1:03:54 Drew What does that mean?

1:03:55 Adam A little breaking in?

1:03:57 Drew I see. Breaking in.

1:03:58 Caller A little game of bite the pillow?

1:04:01 Adam Who had to wipe their hand? You or him? He did. He had to wipe his hand? All right.

1:04:06 Drew All right. You're 19 years here. There's two things. One is it's natural for people your age to date other than a single person. It's actually healthy. It's also important to begin to look at your relationship and see whether or not these actions are a sign that this relationship is sort of winding down. One of the things Adam and I comment on frequently is that people in their sort of 17 to 20 age group really have difficulty assessing when a relationship is over. It's very hard to let go or at least begin to accept those feelings as they wind down.

1:04:39 Adam Yeah. You don't know when to call it quits. And there's this thing you have when you're young, whether it's your friend or your girlfriend or your boyfriend, whatever, you go, hey, man, we've known each other for three years. So that's worth something. I mean, it's like I got two years invested, whether it's a friendship or a relationship, you go, well, I know the guy, I know he got drunk and he tried to stab me, but we've been friends for two and a half years, man. I mean, I can put all that behind us, you know? And you do it with relationships too. But you get a little bit older and you kind of realize, hey, this one ain't working out. I'm moving on. You get that skill when you get older. I think you've got to have the experience of moving on a few times so that you know whether it's a relationship or a job or whatever, you just don't get that skill of, hey, it's time to call this one quits and move on. Yeah. There'll be others.

1:05:29 Drew It's similar skill to how you initiate relationships too. That's one that's also difficult to have.

1:05:33 Adam Right. But what you don't know when you're 15, 16, 17, you start a relationship, it goes on for two years, that's your only relationship. You don't know that there's going to be other relationships. So you've got to string this one out as long as you can. And most of them go on a year longer than they should.

1:05:48 Drew Well, it's all that.

1:05:49 Adam I think. At 16, 17, wouldn't you say?

1:05:52 Drew On average. There still is a spectrum on that too. We all add fantasy or sort of a projection onto our romantic relationships. You know what I mean? We never all accept the person for exactly who they are. We have to superimpose something on them for it to be a highly romanticized relationship. At 17, that's all there is, is all that romanticization.

1:06:14 Adam She's been with this guy for two years. She's screwing around after he leaves. Maybe she is into him as she thinks.

1:06:20 Drew She ought to be a little less tough on herself. She's 19.

1:06:22 Adam Okay. Screw around and don't think twice. I'm with Drew. We're going to hear another one from Methods of Mayhem, which is also the name of the CD. Come on, Anderson.

1:06:32 Drew We're going to have a play right now.

1:06:34 Adam We run a little late going out of break. Come on. It's time he hasn't been here for three years. He let me drive his car last time he was here. All right. All right. Thanks.

1:06:44 Drew New skin.

1:06:45 Caller He's all bummed out.

1:06:46 Adam This one is called New Skin. Thank you, Drew. Yeah.

1:11:16 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:11:18 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-91.

1:11:22 Caller We'll be right back.

1:11:43 Adam It is Loveline. Alison Hannigan and Jason Biggs are both here from American Pie. Good movie, good soundtrack, all the Loveline bands. I'm trying to think, Deshawn. Blank. Semi-Sonic. Yeah. Coldfinger. Drew, what are you doing there? Is that you rubbing there?

1:12:03 Squeaky squeaky.

1:12:04 Adam Yeah. Anyway, good music, good movie, good fun. And Drew got some flowers from Jenna Jamison. I'm guessing the adult film star. Did you know that, Drew?

1:12:17 Drew I think Jimmy sent these.

1:12:18 Adam No. Why did you think Jimmy sent them?

1:12:19 Drew Because I think it would be set up the way you were set up by...

1:12:23 Adam No. It says the five minutes we talked made a big difference.

1:12:28 Drew That's nice. That's very nice. Hold on.

1:12:30 Adam Drew, are you that paranoid about your wife?

1:12:32 Drew No. I'm just paranoid about the whole situation.

1:12:34 Adam You got a little hand job in the parking lot, that's no big deal. It's part of the game. She's a porn star. It doesn't mean anything to her. You're a man. You have needs. It's a long ride home. No. Drew, you had a little heart to heart with her during a commercial break or something, right? She sent you a nice card and a nice bouquet.

1:12:56 Drew That's very nice.

1:12:57 Adam Nothing wrong with that.

1:12:58 Drew That's very nice.

1:12:59 Adam Can I take those home? You can't take those home, can you? I'm going to take them home. All right? Is that cool? You know what I love about chicks and flowers? They're great until the old lady finds out there from someone else or second hand or been recycled and then they're pissed. I did that once with, I was at the K-Rock Morning Show when Tori Amos came by. And my girlfriend at the time was really into Tori Amos. And Tori Amos had some fan who gave her flowers and she left them behind. So I thought, oh, this is great. Not only flowers, but they're from Tori Amos. So I brought them home to my girlfriend at the time. And I said, here you go, baby. Here's some flowers. And she said, oh, this is great. I can't believe you brought me flowers. With me, it's always everyone's suspicious, you know?

1:13:48 Caller Even though you do too much?

1:13:49 Adam And I said, I love too much. I'm guilty, guilty of loving too much. And I'm actually, I'm in love with the notion of being in love. That's what I figured out about myself. But I, so I said after she was sniffing them and putting them in a vase and stuff, I said, hey, and I kept pushing. This is my problem. I said, guess what? Those are, those are from Tori Amos. Thinking it would be even cooler, even cooler. It's like if your girlfriend brought you home, you know, a tool or something, and then turned out to be from some guy who you're really into in a band or something, it would be that much cooler, right? Absolutely. So I said, hey, not only do you got some flowers, but guess what? Those are Tori Amos' flowers. I said, huh? Hey, Tori Amos. And it like dawned on me that I should have never brought it up, but I kind of kept going. Yeah, Tori Amos, you know, she plays the piano. You're a big fan of hers, right? Yeah. Those were her flowers. Okay, take them back. I'm like, what? That's Tori Amos' flowers.

1:14:47 Drew You can understand how some of your connect with could feel threatened. I mean, you're away from home, you're in the studio, they're back home.

1:14:54 Caller It's not the case there.

1:14:56 Adam Listen, I thought enough to pull the flowers right out of the garbage can.

1:15:00 Caller No, you should probably lift the garbage can part out.

1:15:03 Drew We're the ones out here, you know, on these damn shows talking to people, as in men left out and, you know.

1:15:09 Caller Yeah, but I think, no, like if you look at it though, he saw the left flowers that were just going to die, and he thought of his girlfriend and he brought them.

1:15:16 Adam That's sweet. And I was honest.

1:15:17 Caller But then he was not as sweet as you going to the store and purchasing them for her.

1:15:20 Adam I didn't say I spent 80 bucks for him or anything like that. I came clean.

1:15:25 Drew But then trying to close the loop by actually being empathic about how that person is going to feel about the entire, I mean, it's for that person, so you have to be sensitive to what that person wants and needs is thinking about these things.

1:15:35 Adam Please, please, please. Listen, there's only one person in the relationship, Drew, and you're looking at him now. You know that. Come on now.

1:15:41 Caller That's why she's an ex-girlfriend.

1:15:42 Adam That's right. Cassandra? Hi. You're seventeen.

1:15:46 Guest Yeah.

1:15:47 Adam What's going on?

1:15:49 Guest Well, well, I'm seeing this guy and we aren't supposed to see each other at all. I mean, at all. We've gone through the courts and everything. And if he gets caught seeing me, he can go to prison for it.

1:16:02 Adam Yeah, I'm already, I'm already thinking about gambling on this one. I got news for you. Yeah. How old is this guy?

1:16:10 Guest He just turned twenty four.

1:16:11 Adam Just turned twenty four. You're seventeen. It's gone through the courts. I mean, the courts have said you guys cannot be together.

1:16:19 Guest Yeah.

1:16:20 Adam Okay.

1:16:21 Caller This guy have a restraining order?

1:16:23 Adam No. Is it have to do with the age difference?

1:16:27 Guest Yeah.

1:16:28 Adam Somebody turned him in?

1:16:29 Caller And you've known him for a while.

1:16:30 Caller You're parents, I bet.

1:16:31 Adam You're parents.

1:16:31 Guest Yeah, I've known him for, we've been together for a year now. It'll be the year on this thirty-first.

1:16:37 Adam You were sixteen, he was twenty-three?

1:16:39 Guest Yeah, at the time.

1:16:40 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. And who went to the cops?

1:16:47 Guest Well, my parents did, but then they dropped all of it. They had it all, we had it all mediated out, and all of it was dropped.

1:16:55 Adam Right.

1:16:55 Guest And then the DA picked it up.

1:16:57 Adam Oh, he did?

1:16:58 Guest Yeah, she did.

1:16:59 Adam Oh, she did?

1:17:00 Guest Yeah.

1:17:00 Adam And then she did what? Did he go to jail?

1:17:04 Guest Yeah, he spent forty-three days in jail.

1:17:08 Adam Right.

1:17:08 Guest And then he got released.

1:17:12 Adam And now you guys are seeing each other again?

1:17:15 Guest Yeah.

1:17:15 Caller What state are you in?

1:17:17 Guest I'm in California.

1:17:18 Caller I thought the law is sixty.

1:17:24 Drew Within two years of the woman's age, if she's under sixteen or older.

1:17:28 Guest Yeah.

1:17:29 Adam Yeah, Drew, you have the breakdown somewhere, but it's weird. It's not just about the age, it's about the age of the person who's with you, whether they're over eighteen, how far the gap is in your age, and that kind of thing. And you're under eighteen, and this guy's, you know, six years, seven years older than you are, and that's the problem.

1:17:49 Guest Yeah, but we're still, like, going to do what we planned on doing. In the beginning, just, it's going to take a little longer.

1:17:56 Drew Which is what?

1:17:56 Guest Getting married.

1:17:57 Adam Uh-huh.

1:17:58 Guest It's going to take a little longer. We're not going to jump into it or anything like that.

1:18:01 Adam Right. You're going to wait to, like, the ripe old age of 18 and a quarter or something like that.

1:18:05 Guest Well, yeah, I'm not going to get married when I'm 18. No, it's going to be a lot longer than that.

1:18:08 Adam Really?

1:18:09 Guest Yeah.

1:18:10 Adam Why is that?

1:18:11 Guest Just because we want to get to know each other a little better, you know, and we don't want to rush into things. So we're just going to stay together.

1:18:17 Drew Let me translate. He doesn't want to get married.

1:18:18 Adam He doesn't want to get married?

1:18:19 Caller No, he is.

1:18:21 Guest Yeah, he's already asked.

1:18:21 Drew Right, he doesn't want to get married.

1:18:23 Adam No, he already asked her to get married.

1:18:24 Guest Yeah, he's already asked me.

1:18:26 Adam He's dying to get married.

1:18:27 Guest Yeah. Well, he's not dying. He just, he wants to, but he wants to wait until it's the right time, too.

1:18:34 Adam Uh, Drew's got a puss on it. Oh, and I got to tell you, he, seriously, if you said to him, let's get married in six months, would he do it?

1:18:44 Guest Yes, he would, but he doesn't want to push me to it.

1:18:49 Adam Right. Sounds kind of diabolical. I got to talk to this guy, figure out what kind of spell he's weaving here. This sort of reverse, reverse child psychology he's got going on here. All right, I don't completely trust this guy just because he was 23 and thought it would be a good idea to go out with a 16-year-old.

1:19:09 Guest I lied to him about my age. I told him I was a lot older than I was, and then he found out later down the road.

1:19:17 Adam Right.

1:19:17 Guest But he still stayed with me despite my age.

1:19:20 Adam Yeah, well, that's kind of what I'm talking about.

1:19:22 Caller How old did you tell him you were?

1:19:24 Guest Well, I told him I was 19.

1:19:25 Adam Okay. Where did you meet him?

1:19:27 Guest I met him with a whole bunch of my other friends. I was out with my cousin, and we just met him through there.

1:19:32 Adam Okay. What's he do for a living?

1:19:35 Guest He does carpet and stuff, and he works at like this roofing construction.

1:19:40 Adam Oh, roofing and carpet.

1:19:43 Guest Oh, yeah.

1:19:43 Adam Oh, my God. You know, there's, you know who I don't trust guys who work around metal, Drew? Yeah. They can work at muffler shops and stuff like that. You know, the only thing lower?

1:19:52 Drew Carpeting.

1:19:53 Adam Yeah. And the only thing lower than that?

1:19:54 Drew Roofing.

1:19:55 Adam Roofing. These guys, these are the dregs of society, these roofers. Hot mops, buckets. These guys are, these are horrible. These guys, this is as white as trash gets. This is albino trash. Do you understand? This is clear trash.

1:20:12 Guest Yeah. I cleaned them up a lot though.

1:20:14 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you, roofers, like they're toothless guys who bare, you know, they only speak English, but they barely speak that one. And they have like a...

1:20:23 Guest No, he's really smart. He graduated and he's going to college.

1:20:26 Adam Melted tar in their beard and stuff like that. They hack up these big fur balls because they've been sucking off that hot mop for too long. Oh, and they're sunburnt and they chain smoke and they drink too much beer after work. This guy's, am I right about this guy?

1:20:42 Guest No.

1:20:43 Adam Please. You know I'm right. And what's he do with carpet?

1:20:48 Guest No, he just lays down the tack strip and stuff, but he can't do anything else, or a drinker, or nothing.

1:20:53 Adam Tacker and mopper. That's worse than a tin knocker and a sheet rocker. All right. All right. So, you guys, so when are you going to be 18?

1:21:05 Guest In December of this year.

1:21:07 Adam So why don't you just hang low for four or five months?

1:21:11 Guest Yeah, that's what we plan on doing.

1:21:12 Adam Can you do that?

1:21:13 Guest Well, no I can't.

1:21:14 Caller What is the problem?

1:21:15 Drew Why can't you?

1:21:16 Guest Because I'm pregnant.

1:21:17 Adam Oh, yeah. I told you this guy was salt of the earth.

1:21:20 Drew Don't want to rush into marriage.

1:21:21 Adam What a wonderful guy. Yeah. You don't want to rush into marriage.

1:21:23 Caller Did he propose before or after you got pregnant?

1:21:25 Guest Huh?

1:21:26 Caller Did he propose before or after you?

1:21:27 Guest Before. Way before.

1:21:29 Adam Uh-huh. Okay. So you're going to have the child? You are?

1:21:34 Guest Yeah.

1:21:34 Adam Okay. Well, why don't you just go ahead and get married? And why not?

1:21:38 Guest Because we have to wait for all this court stuff to settle down.

1:21:41 Adam Okay. That'll be wonderful. And when are you moving out of the house?

1:21:45 Guest When I turn 18.

1:21:46 Adam All right. Have you graduated high school?

1:21:48 Guest Yes.

1:21:49 Adam You have?

1:21:49 Guest Yeah.

1:21:50 Adam Okay.

1:21:50 Caller I graduated a year early.

1:21:51 Adam All right. And you're going off to junior college?

1:21:54 Guest Yeah.

1:21:55 Adam I always smell that junior college. All right. You're going to be a good mom?

1:21:59 Guest Yeah.

1:21:59 Adam All right. All right. I'll buy it. So when do you do?

1:22:06 Guest Around in November.

1:22:08 Adam Oh, really?

1:22:09 Guest Yeah.

1:22:10 Adam All right. So I don't know what to say. Don't let the DA see you eating for two and just hang low. And then you'll turn 18 and then you guys can be a family. All right. Good luck.

1:22:24 Drew Thank you.

1:22:24 Adam All right. Good luck. Yeah.

1:22:26 Drew Oh, boy.

1:22:27 Adam Well, she sounds all right. Oh, what do you mean?

1:22:31 Drew She's living in fantasy.

1:22:33 Adam Yeah.

1:22:34 Drew Well, total fantasy.

1:22:35 Adam Why?

1:22:35 Drew Because she's living with a tacher and a mopper.

1:22:40 Adam Right. And what's the deal with the marriage? You don't buy the marriage stuff?

1:22:44 Drew Oh, she'll corral him into it, but there'll be a price for it.

1:22:47 Adam All right. All right. It seems like a sort of tough way to get started, you know, through the courts and everything.

1:22:55 Guest With the dating.

1:22:56 Adam You got like a DA following you around. You're wearing an ankle bracelet.

1:23:00 Drew Size that guy up for a second. Who that guy is that created all that?

1:23:03 Adam Listen to me, all you numbskulls. I have worked in that world for many years, and I can tell you how it works. I mean, the roofers, man, bottom of the rung, drywallers, these guys, guys who deal with carpet, these guys are all dirtbags. I worked with millions of these guys, just dirtbags, all of them. Racist guys who don't know their kid's name. They call their kids the kid, and the wife is the old lady. That's all they ever talk about. What are you doing this weekend, Ross? Taking the old lady and the kid down to the lake, down to the river. Yeah, we couldn't even make it to the lake, we're going to the river. Yeah, what are you going to do there? Sit there and drink. Michelle?

1:23:44 Caller Hi.

1:23:44 Adam Hope the wife and the kid drown. You're 16.

1:23:47 Caller Yeah, I am.

1:23:48 Adam What's going on?

1:23:49 Caller Oh, I just want to say that I love you and Drew both immensely.

1:23:53 Caller Wow, all right.

1:23:55 Caller You guys are so cool.

1:23:56 Adam Thanks.

1:23:56 Caller But I really, really want to talk to Allison.

1:23:58 Adam Here she is.

1:23:59 Caller Hi Allison.

1:24:00 Caller Hi.

1:24:01 Caller I don't know if you remember, but like in LA, I met you at a comic convention.

1:24:07 Caller Which one? Oh, the one in LA. Okay, you just said that. Sorry, I'm sleeping.

1:24:11 Caller And I like, I don't know, I kind of embarrassed Nick. How? Like I asked him, are you going to be in any upcoming movies? And he just bowed his head down.

1:24:21 Adam Who's Nick?

1:24:21 Caller He is on Buffy the Vampire Slayer with me.

1:24:24 Adam Oh, that Nick.

1:24:25 Caller He's been here before.

1:24:26 Adam All right. Well, now I feel like an idiot.

1:24:28 Caller That's okay.

1:24:29 Adam All right. What were you doing there, Michelle?

1:24:31 Caller Oh, I went because I heard that Allison and Nick were going to be there. So I just immediately decided I was going to go.

1:24:37 Adam Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a lot of very strong following and has sort of a cult following within the following, right?

1:24:44 Caller Yes.

1:24:45 Guest Just let me tell you something.

1:24:46 Caller I've spent over $300 on Buffy stuff and never missed an episode.

1:24:50 Adam That's what I'm talking about.

1:24:52 Caller Well, thank you.

1:24:52 Guest I'm a very, very big believer in Buffy.

1:24:54 Caller Oh, cool. And Allison, I just want to tell you that you are great. And you know, I enjoy acting so much myself. Oh, cool. I do a lot of plays for the community and stuff. Oh, cool. Maybe you could get me a little hook up with Josh.

1:25:10 Caller I just send your picture to the WB.

1:25:12 Adam Where are you calling from, Michelle?

1:25:14 Caller Hossien Heights.

1:25:15 Adam Oh, really?

1:25:16 Caller Well, keep her singing and then, hey, wind up being a new slayer or something.

1:25:22 Adam Yeah, you want to be an actress?

1:25:24 Caller Yeah, I do. And sing. I really like that.

1:25:26 Adam Oh, you can sing?

1:25:28 Guest That's what my friends tell me. I don't know.

1:25:29 Adam Well, let's do something. Let's hear a little something.

1:25:32 Guest Let's hear it.

1:25:33 Caller What do you got?

1:25:35 Caller I can sing the song Angel by Sarah McLaughlin.

1:25:38 Adam Okay, let's hear that.

1:25:39 Caller I'll do like a verse of it.

1:25:40 Adam Okay, just sing one verse.

1:25:42 Caller Okay.

1:26:32 Caller That was really good.

1:26:33 Caller Wow, that was good. That was very good.

1:26:35 Guest It doesn't sound as good over the phone, but.

1:26:37 Caller Oh, that was great.

1:26:39 Adam I'm going to sing a little something by Burton Cummings in the Union Gamp called Young Girl.

1:26:43 Caller That's cool.

1:26:44 Adam No. No, okay. I won't do that. Hey, Michelle. You got plenty of talent. Thank you. And you got moxie. And that's what I like about you, kid.

1:26:52 Caller And you know, if you're in like a play or something that's coming up, just send like a notice or a flyer, whatever they send to the WB.

1:27:02 Adam Yeah.

1:27:03 Caller And maybe, who knows, maybe Joss, if he's not, you know, working on everything in the world.

1:27:07 Adam No, it's never going to happen.

1:27:08 Caller Okay, well, somebody might come and you never know, because I hear those stories all the time.

1:27:12 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:27:12 Caller Somebody gets discovered in a play.

1:27:14 Adam Really?

1:27:14 Caller I'm like, damn, that never happened to me.

1:27:16 Adam Yeah, what happened to you?

1:27:17 Caller I just worked and worked and worked and worked and finally got something.

1:27:21 Adam What do you mean, auditioning?

1:27:22 Caller Well, yeah, I mean, I've been doing this since I was like four.

1:27:25 Adam You know, you're fairly sane for someone who's been at it for so long.

1:27:29 Caller Well, there was a long lull where I had to be, you know, a real kid.

1:27:32 Adam Be like a regular kid?

1:27:33 Caller Yeah.

1:27:34 Adam Yeah, I guess that's the way to go, actually. Like a little lull where you get to go to school, have your friends, not get mobbed at the mall and all that.

1:27:44 Caller Exactly. I know this business.

1:27:46 Adam Get your psyche adjusted a little bit and then you can go off. But meanwhile, you have a little experience, a little taste of it, a little training.

1:27:55 Caller The torture of high school was good to keep my feet on the ground, I think.

1:27:59 Adam Jessica?

1:28:00 Drew We're gonna take a break.

1:28:00 Adam Oh, we just talked to Jessica. That's right. Oh, no, we didn't just talk to Jessica. We talked to someone else named Jessica. Jessica?

1:28:06 Caller Yes.

1:28:06 Adam Hang on a second.

1:28:07 Caller Okay.

1:28:07 Adam We're running late for break.

1:28:09 Caller Okay.

1:28:09 Adam All right?

1:28:10 Caller All right.

1:28:10 Adam We'll get back to you. And we'll get back to the rest of you after this.

1:28:17 Caller Love, we'll be right back.

1:28:42 Adam We're back. It is Loveline. Godsmack is our guest tonight. We have Sully and Tommy in here from the band. And when we left off, we were going to speak to Roger's 24. Roger. Roger. Uh-oh.

1:28:59 Drew Gone or asleep?

1:29:00 Adam Roger's been on hold for 72 minutes. Roger could be sleeping.

1:29:05 Drew Yeah. Roger.

1:29:07 Adam It's really the greatest compliment. You can pay a host when they-

1:29:10 Drew Especially a late night host.

1:29:11 Adam When they punch you up, you're nodded off. I guess I told that Jim Rose story once too many times. All right. We'll see if we can wake Roger up during the- Oh, he was making a move. Roger? Roger.

1:29:31 Caller Hello?

1:29:31 Adam Hey, Roger.

1:29:33 Caller I'm sorry.

1:29:34 Adam This is- Who is this?

1:29:36 Caller This is Roger. I'm sorry. I had to use the bathroom. I'm really sorry about that.

1:29:43 Drew Thanks for sharing.

1:29:43 Adam I'll bring that out.

1:29:44 Caller I'm just so glad I'm on the radio now.

1:29:46 Adam Is this Roger the man?

1:29:48 Caller Yes. Yes, I am a man.

1:29:50 Caller What is your bathroom like a quarter mile away from the phone?

1:29:52 Caller No, it's not. Oh, God.

1:29:54 Caller When you're on hold for 72 minutes, I guess you're going to go.

1:29:57 Caller Yeah.

1:29:58 Caller Yeah.

1:30:00 Caller Well, really what it is, is I have this thing, this issue that I want to deal with and it's really hard. I have this guy that I work with, that I'm really attracted to and I just don't.

1:30:13 Adam You're gay?

1:30:14 Caller Yes, I am.

1:30:14 Adam Okay.

1:30:16 Caller His name is Anthony and I am just, he gives me butterflies and I just don't know what to say.

1:30:23 Adam Did you say butterflies or butterflies?

1:30:28 Caller You guys, I don't know.

1:30:30 Drew Roger, what capacity do you work with him?

1:30:35 Caller Like in what sense do you mean?

1:30:36 Drew That's what I'm wondering. What sense do you mean? Is he a manager, is he an authority?

1:30:40 Caller He's another employee.

1:30:41 Drew What kind of job is this?

1:30:43 Caller Well, we do, I don't really want to, well, we do like warehouse work.

1:30:48 Drew So you're side by side working?

1:30:49 Caller Yeah.

1:30:49 Drew Is he gay also?

1:30:51 Caller That's a thing I don't know and I'm really trying to figure it out. I think he might be because I think he's attracted to me too, but he just doesn't want to go that way. So I just don't know what to say to him.

1:31:04 Drew Does he hang out with you? Does he want to hang out?

1:31:06 Caller I mean, I tried to take him to the movies, but he doesn't refuse, but he just says, well, I have this to do. I just don't know how to make him.

1:31:15 Drew You can't make him. He's giving you some messages. He's not really that interested right now.

1:31:20 Caller Yeah.

1:31:21 Adam You work in a warehouse?

1:31:22 Caller Yeah, we sure do.

1:31:23 Adam Yeah. What would the odds of two gay guys working in a warehouse be? You know what I'm saying? I got to say low. I don't think he's gay.

1:31:34 Caller Plus, I got a pretty easy solution for this. All you have to do is very nonchalantly bring up conversation about, what do you think of this, or have you ever thought of that, or that kind of thing, without it being directed towards him.

1:31:46 Caller All right. I think that's what I'll try to do.

1:31:49 Caller And do that not around a bunch of other people.

1:31:52 Adam Hey, Roger?

1:31:54 Caller Yes, yes.

1:31:55 Adam What kind of warehouse, seriously, what is in there?

1:31:58 Caller Well, we basically, it's just, I don't want to really say because there might be other people listening, but we just do like, it's not very, it's really light work, it's not anything, it's like, soap dishes, stuff like that, duvet covers, that kind of stuff? Yeah, like filters and stuff like, it's just really small stuff.

1:32:20 Adam Filters? Yes.

1:32:22 Drew Water filters?

1:32:23 Caller Air conditioning filters, things like that, of that nature.

1:32:26 Adam All right. Roger? Yes. Why don't you just go, here's my thing, if I was gay, I'd go right down to the gay bar, because there are a bunch of drunken gay guys who you can have sex with almost immediately.

1:32:42 Caller Right.

1:32:42 Adam Right there at the bar.

1:32:43 Caller I want somebody different, I want somebody who is more charismatic and different.

1:32:47 Drew A relationship.

1:32:48 Caller Yeah.

1:32:49 Adam I see. Well, maybe you find a nice guy at the gay bar too. Well. What about those gay clubs and stuff?

1:32:56 Caller I'm not really into that kind of scene as far as-

1:32:59 Adam Okay.

1:32:59 Drew No, you mean like gay organizations?

1:33:01 Adam I'm just saying, cruising the warehouse may not be your best, your richest source of gay men.

1:33:10 Drew In general, we're not too hot on people.

1:33:12 Adam Plus, you guys work together and there's a pretty good chance he's not gay, and you've asked him to go to a couple of movies, and he doesn't seem like he wants to go.

1:33:20 Caller Okay.

1:33:20 Drew And you're focused on how do I make him do this?

1:33:23 Adam Yeah, he may not be gay, or maybe he's gay and he's not attracted to you, I don't know. But the point is, is you work together, you work at a warehouse, he don't want to go to the movie. Why don't you just go somewhere where there's other gay men and talk to them?

1:33:36 Caller Okay.

1:33:37 Adam Alright.

1:33:38 Caller Alright, thank you guys.

1:33:38 Adam Alright. Well, Roger. Okay. Listen, I'm telling you, the gay bar is a gay man. I mean, you can't beat that, right? I mean, a bunch of other gay guys hanging out?

1:33:53 Drew Your perception of it is from where you sit. In other words, if you go to a place where women would be that wanted to have sex with you, that'd be like, oh my god.

1:34:00 Adam Could you imagine the equivalent?

1:34:02 Drew But this is something that they have to deal with, and they look for monogamy, and they're worried about the STDs and other sorts of issues associated with monogamous sex.

1:34:10 Adam Alright, well, there's gotta be something, there's gotta be some other video.

1:34:15 Drew It's harder to find a more gratifying experience.

1:34:17 Adam Well, what's another gay event? I mean, they got the parades, they got the bars. What is some sort of home decorating expo or something? Some sort of...

1:34:28 Drew So let's just go on. Before you toss out more...

1:34:31 Adam I'm just trying to think of something.

1:34:33 Drew Stereotypes.

1:34:33 Adam Well, how do they become stereotypes, Drew? They're serious, Sully. Someone's got to do them. Jen?

1:34:39 Guest Me, me, me, me.

1:34:40 Drew Yes, it's you.

1:34:40 Adam Hey.

1:34:41 Guest I have... I drove... I know I drove at least 85 miles an hour to get home.

1:34:45 Drew You're the last call of the night.

1:34:47 Guest I had to talk to Mr. Sully. Sully? Sully? And Tommy? Is that you, Tommy?

1:34:53 Caller Yes.

1:34:54 Guest Where's Tony and Robbie? I mean...

1:34:56 Caller They're back at the hotel.

1:34:57 Guest Okay. You guys have to come back to LA. I missed your show. I'm really disappointed. I was really pissed off.

1:35:02 Adam At the Palace?

1:35:05 Caller Yeah. Why did you miss it?

1:35:05 Guest Well, I'm about two hours from LA and I'm in the process of moving, so... Anyway, anyway. Guys, listen, listen. I need to know a couple things. Sully, how come you're still pissed off?

1:35:16 Caller I'm not pissed off.

1:35:17 Guest Oh, okay. I mean, only because I have your CD. I love you guys. I looked all over Texas, all over Arizona, New Mexico, and California for this CD. I paid about $25 for it.

1:35:30 Caller Wow.

1:35:31 Guest Needless to say, it wasn't for me.

1:35:32 Caller You got porked. That's terrible. It was on sale for $6.99.

1:35:37 Adam It was at the comic book store for a few years on sale.

1:35:40 Guest Well, hey, let's just say I was glad they had it.

1:35:43 Adam And you drove all over?

1:35:45 Guest I drove. Well, actually, I left my ex-husband at the time. This is the reason I called. The song, Whatever, came out maybe, I don't know, maybe a week before I left my ex-husband, and the first time I heard it, oh, my God, it was just like, bam, right there, you know?

1:35:59 Caller It was great.

1:35:59 Guest It was a great release for me, of course, you know?

1:36:01 Adam Where are you living?

1:36:02 Caller And me too.

1:36:03 Adam Where are you living now?

1:36:04 Guest I drove 2,200 miles from Texas to California.

1:36:07 Adam Oh, you do spend a lot of time on the road.

1:36:10 Guest Yeah, needless to say, I heard the CD a lot.

1:36:13 Adam All right, where are you calling from now, Jen?

1:36:15 Guest I'm calling from Bakers Hill, California.

1:36:17 Adam Okay.

1:36:18 Guest Home of corn.

1:36:19 Adam Well, why don't you drive to Phoenix and see them day after tomorrow?

1:36:23 Guest I could, but they're gonna come back to LA, I hope.

1:36:26 Caller Yeah, it probably won't.

1:36:27 Guest You have a big fan base down here.

1:36:28 Caller Honestly, it probably won't be until like next year, because we're gonna be in Europe this year, and then we start recording in February, which means we won't probably do US again until April or May.

1:36:39 Adam Jen, why don't you drive on over to Geneva or Germany or something and see. Drive over to Munich and see them.

1:36:47 Guest That's what I gotta do, you know what I mean? All right. As far as that goes, that's good and all. I also want to know what the sign is on the CD. The sun that's designed on the CD itself, I think it's a sun. What significance does that have if it has any with a band and the tie-in with it? I've always wanted to know.

1:37:08 Adam Hold on there, Jen. Jen.

1:37:09 Guest I believe I might have discussed it.

1:37:10 Adam Jen, are you cooking up speed in your garage or what's going on?

1:37:14 Guest I'll tell you. You just came on, I got in my car about 10.30.

1:37:17 Adam Okay. I know. You drove 85.

1:37:19 Guest Yeah. Then I had to listen to Roger, okay?

1:37:22 Adam Roger. Listen. Oh, boy. She's still going too. All right. Ten seconds. What is the significance of the Tribal Sun?

1:37:30 Caller It just started with a tattoo that I have around my belly button, and we incorporated it into a little more simpler version.

1:37:37 Drew We'll be right back.

1:37:38 Adam All right. We'll let him finish, please.

1:37:40 Drew All right.

1:37:41 Adam Now we'll be back.

1:37:42 Drew I feel so liquidy.

1:37:44 Caller Really? You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:38:16 Drew Oh, boy, it's great to revisit some of our finer moments, and so ends another Best Of. I hope you guys are all having a good holiday. I know I am, and that's one of the reasons I love Best Ofs. It means I'm on vacation, and for goodness sake, it's always good to revisit some of those moments that get lost forever. Tomorrow night, we've got Blink 182. We're gonna hear from Jimmy Kimmel with Pat O'Brien, Kid Rock, and others. So again, happy holidays. This is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla. Good night and mahalo.

1:38:45 Adam Ha ha. Well, now.

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Monday, December 20, 1999