Episode 1000754888008

0:00 Voiceover Loveline, Loveline, Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:03 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Losing her discretion.

0:07 Advised.

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline.

0:11 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

0:16 Hey, it's Loveline.

0:18 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, our very special guest is Diane Farr.

0:35 Ha ha ha ha.

0:36 Diane Farr Yes, that name we forgot on Letterman and you remembered it now.

0:40 Adam Yeah, you know, I was thinking about that when I knew you were coming in tonight. Well, you know, to be honest, and Drew, please back me up here. Whenever I think about Loveline, I really think of the radio show. And there's another point maybe right after that where I said, are stoned listeners. And then I caught myself and said, viewers. But my first notion is always radio. And that's the way I always think. And it's weird when we're on a TV show and they're talking about the TV because I always think we're talking about the radio. So that's my excuse. But don't worry, I'm going to make it up to you tonight, Diane.

1:17 Diane Farr Oh, really?

1:18 Adam Yeah. Here's how I'm going to do this. I'm going to start right now.

1:21 Drew Diane, I'll make it up to you too when she's a massive giant star and forgets to mention your name.

1:26 Adam You know, I had that notion on the plane ride over. I thought, you know, this Diane Farr, she actually has talent, even substantial talent. She may go somewhere. I really should have kissed up. But I'm going to do that right now. First off, I want to say that for those of you who don't know the TV show, Diane Farr is our co-hostess or I don't want it to sound, what the hell word am I looking for? Yeah, I don't know what she was. She is the third brain out there. As Drew knew, and as anyone who listens to the show knows, I was vehemently against a third person up there for the sake of having a third person up there. I didn't deem it necessary. I didn't understand why we had to have it, and they proved me right with the first 17 chicks they put up there. But you've heard no complaints from me since Diane Farr has come on. She's done a wonderful job.

2:24 Drew She's managed to plan everything else, but not you and Diane. I want you to know that.

2:27 Adam She is beautiful and sensible and articulate all at the same time, and people give her rave reviews. And not only for the work that she does on our show, but her many other endeavors. Because when you work for MTV, you've got to pay the bills. So that's why she's on tonight. We're going to talk about some of her other endeavors. Now, she was on that.

2:50 Drew We thought we'd break the news to you tonight. Diane and I are going out together and going to be doing a show of our own.

2:55 Adam No.

2:57 Please. Please.

2:59 Diane Farr It's called the Let's Get Adam Corolla Show. I can't believe you're on his feet. First of all, I was totally tricked into this under the guise of it'll just be you and Drew. You can say anything you want about Adam.

3:11 Adam Well, you still know you can because it's going to take me at least 11 hours to get at your throat.

3:18 Drew Well, let's make it clear. You're in New York. You just let them tonight. People who want to tune in to that still can while they keep the radio going, of course.

3:25 Adam Well, actually, they don't have to because at least on the west coast, I think I'll be on after we're off.

3:33 Drew You sound like you're flying high after that. You sound happy right now.

3:37 Diane Farr That's the first time you've heard it.

3:39 Adam You know, it's sort of a weight lifted off my shoulders, but let me just say that those of you who are listening on the day delay feed in the east coast and in the midwest, it's irrelevant because it was yesterday. And those of you who are on the west coast can watch it because you can go ahead and turn your TV set on after we go off the air, because I didn't come on until after 12 anyway, right? Yeah.

4:01 Drew I enjoyed hearing stuff I'd heard from you three hard times before.

4:04 Diane Farr Yeah. I had a good laugh at it myself.

4:06 Adam All right. All right, Drew.

4:08 Diane Farr They were. I think they worked particularly well when you haven't heard them. So I think you did very well.

4:13 Adam Drew, what are you talking about with being myself, please? The temerity.

4:18 Diane Farr Let me tell you.

4:19 Adam All right. Let me explain what goes on on Letterman that doesn't go on when we do most of our shows. You prepare? David Letterman apparently is a fairly particular guy. And he has a lot of rules and regulations as to what he wants to hear and what he doesn't want to hear. And they're mostly don'ts more than do's. Don't do this. Don't bring up that. Don't get him in a headlock. Don't snipe at him. Don't do this and don't do that. And then they really want you to plan out what you're going to say before you go up there. Normally, when Drew and I go out there, we sort of wing it.

4:52 Caller Sort of wing it?

4:54 Drew We have no effing idea what the hell we're going to say when we get out there.

4:57 Adam What I mean is we get a pre-interview on just about every show we get.

5:01 Drew Oh, that's true.

5:02 Adam And it's usually a fairly short pre-interview, but we get a pre-interview.

5:06 Drew You know what our pre-interview is. It was just, leave us alone, leave us alone, leave us alone, we'll take care of it. We'll figure something out when we're out there. Just shut up. That's our pre-interview.

5:14 Adam Okay, but on this show, and especially because you weren't out there, Drew, and we weren't going to do our sort of Siskel and Ebert thing, they really wanted to know what I was going to talk about. So I had to sort of dig into my bag of material and work a few things out.

5:28 Drew I kind of figured that. And actually, you looked relieved not to have me there interrupting your flow.

5:35 Diane Farr Times two if you include myself.

5:39 Adam To tell you the truth, at first, I was thinking, oh, geez, I wonder what this is going to be like. I mean, I'm not going to have him there to jump in and let me catch a breath and pick up the slack and bail me out of trouble and all that other good stuff. But once I got out there, it didn't bother me too much.

5:55 Drew It really did look great. Oh, good.

5:57 Adam Now, what material, please?

5:59 Drew I'm going to bug you. Oh, come on.

6:01 Diane Farr I even know.

6:03 Drew I've never heard about your grandmother on the ladder. Never heard that one.

6:06 Diane Farr Didn't hear the cable story.

6:07 Drew Never heard the cable story.

6:08 Adam All right, but not on the air, was it?

6:10 Drew On the TV show.

6:11 Diane Farr How would I know it?

6:12 Drew When the hell else do I talk to you except on a...

6:14 Adam I thought I was yacking at you during the commercial or something.

6:16 Drew You know what? I can't tell anymore. I can't tell.

6:18 Diane Farr You're right.

6:19 Drew It might have been on the TV show.

6:20 Diane Farr Well, I can be the litmus test because if I know them, they're on the TV show.

6:23 Drew It might have been when the camera was off or something. Anyway, let's get on with calls. One thing, Adam, I did the show without you last night. I did about 800 calls.

6:30 Adam Yeah.

6:31 Drew All right?

6:31 Adam I'm sure that was an abortion of a show.

6:33 Drew No, it wasn't. It was good.

6:34 Diane Farr Hey, wait a minute. When do we promote Diane's work?

6:36 Adam Yeah, that's what I wanted to...

6:37 Diane Farr What does that part come?

6:38 Adam Thank you, Diane. I'm sorry you had to say it because I was about to do it before we moved on. That's what I wanted to do.

6:44 Diane Farr I'm getting used to you two now.

6:45 Adam Okay. Now, first off, you can catch her on reruns of VIP. Because I've saw her more than once on VIP, pardon me. You can see her reruns of R-List. You can see her in, I guess, it's the February issue of Bikini Magazine, right? Yes. Which by the way, coincidentally, is the Bikini Extravaganza issue.

7:07 Drew The Bikini issue.

7:08 Adam Apparently, there's just chicks clad in potato sacks other than the February issue. But Diane Farr is in a beautiful string bikini and it works. I got to tell you, it really works.

7:19 Drew I've been treating you differently ever since you saw that page.

7:21 Diane Farr Did I tell you what happened? I got it the night before from the publicist. I had never seen it and I was like, oh, it looks nice. It looks whatever. And I'm like, yeah, it's great. As long as Adam Corolla never gets a hold of this, I'm fine.

7:31 Drew Think about it. He has a relationship with women on the page.

7:36 Diane Farr I know and I didn't want to be one of them.

7:38 Drew That goes way back and all of a sudden, it's like slowly he turned into one of the foes.

7:43 Diane Farr I know. He can actually hear me with my own voice as opposed to his voice speaking for them late at night at home.

7:49 Adam Yeah. Usually, I have to insert that sort of senior Wences voice.

7:54 Caller All right.

7:57 Adam But this, I can actually take your words and string them into a sentence.

8:01 Diane Farr Oh, God, please don't.

8:03 Adam All right. More importantly, let's talk about the Drew Carey Show. Yes. Because you're on three fabulous episodes coming up and when do those air?

8:12 Diane Farr They start on February 10th. It's on Wednesday nights at nine o'clock and it'll be the 10th, the 17th and the 24th. And I'm the co-host of ABC.

8:22 Adam Three episodes yet?

8:24 Diane Farr No, I saw the first one because when you shoot the second one, they run the tape of the last one. But I date all of them, which I learned how to do on Loveline. Not that I've dated either of you guys.

8:34 Adam I'm imitating life, everybody.

8:36 Drew And then she nicely got Drew and Ryan on the TV show.

8:41 Adam God bless you.

8:42 Diane Farr That's very funny.

8:43 Adam I knew that was much too good a booking for the MTV folks.

8:46 Drew That was Diane's doing.

8:47 Diane Farr Yeah, that was a bit of begging. Thank you, baby.

8:51 Adam You're ready to take some calls now there, Drew?

8:53 Drew Yes, I am.

8:54 This is Sarah.

8:56 Drew She is seventeen. Sarah?

8:57 Hey.

9:00 Well, I have two things.

9:01 One, I've been dating this guy for about five months now. And he lives in New York and I live in California. We're having a long-distance relationship and everything was going great. I went and visited him. For Christmas, along with my family. But when I got back, I recently found out that he's had sex with a few other people. This is supposed to be a close, monogamous relationship.

9:22 Drew How old is he?

9:23 He's twenty-two.

9:24 Drew How often do you guys see each other?

9:26 Not very often.

9:27 Once a year?

9:29 I hadn't seen him in a year and a half.

9:31 Diane Farr Oh my God. It's supposed to be monogamous?

9:34 We didn't start dating. Actually, like, say we were together for up until like five months ago. In like September.

9:42 Adam Did he go off to college or something?

9:45 He got out of jail. Oh yeah.

9:48 Diane Farr This guy's a treat.

9:50 Adam Marginally worse than junior college. Marginally.

9:54 Diane Farr For North Hollywood High for that matter.

9:56 Yes.

9:56 Drew But Sarah, look, this guy's bad news. He's going to tell you whatever he wants to tell you to get what he wants.

10:01 He didn't tell me. I found out from other people.

10:04 Drew Yeah, but he's telling you to be monogamous because he wants you to be monogamous because that's the way he wants things.

10:10 Diane Farr Sarah, why are you dating an ex-con at 17? What do your parents think? Where are your parents?

10:16 My mom lives in New York. She kicked me out. My father lives near me, but I live with my grandparents because they took me in.

10:24 Drew Why did your mom kick you out?

10:25 Because of my religion.

10:26 Drew Which is?

10:27 Pagan and Wiccan.

10:28 Drew Wiccan.

10:30 And my mother is a hardcore Catholic and she said that she didn't want a witch living in her home.

10:35 Adam Yeah.

10:36 And it was...

10:37 Adam Yeah, what a coincidence, by the way, that your mother's hardcore Catholic and you decided to go the way the Wicca.

10:42 Drew Yeah, yeah.

10:43 Adam Fascinating. Gee, I wonder if there wasn't just a dab of F-U to mom on that one.

10:48 Well, I did a lot of studying before I chose it.

10:52 Drew But, Sarah, the list goes to what I'm saying.

10:54 Adam Here's the thing, it doesn't occur to people who aren't driven by an overzealous and crampy mother to go the Wicca way.

11:02 Drew Right.

11:02 Adam It just doesn't... It doesn't pop in your mind. You don't think about it.

11:05 Drew The way the Wicca is paid with F-U to mom.

11:08 Adam Right.

11:08 Diane Farr Nor does dating the ex-con at 17 for that matter.

11:11 Drew In Sarah's case.

11:13 Adam If your mom was Wicca, you'd be born again.

11:17 But my problem is that I've also been kind of cheating on him.

11:22 Drew Of course. This is not a relation. Sarah, this is just a total mess. This is a big sham. This is a ridiculous notion.

11:28 But there's a second problem.

11:30 Drew You're pregnant.

11:31 A guy had just cheated on him with... The condom kind of came off.

11:36 Drew How long ago was this?

11:37 Saturday night.

11:39 Drew Morning after pill.

11:41 How late?

11:41 Drew Seventy-two hours.

11:42 So I can take it tomorrow?

11:45 Drew Let's do the math. Sunday night. It's Monday night? Yeah, I suppose. But I would run out right now and get it if I were you.

11:50 Diane Farr Wait a minute. She can't get it over the counter.

11:52 Drew Well, I think it's in Washington State. Do you live in Washington?

11:55 Diane Farr No.

11:56 Where do you live?

11:57 Drew California.

11:58 Adam Sure, don't assume that out of the sixty markets, the caller lives in one of them.

12:02 Drew Well, hold on now.

12:03 Adam You could be more retarded than the Wicca logic. And listen, Sarah, don't do any of that I have Newt crap. Go to the pharmacist and get the real thing.

12:12 Drew You can call 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. The drug company has that helpline of...

12:19 Diane Farr How do you spell 2?

12:21 Drew I said 2-8. It's 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE.

12:26 Diane Farr Isn't that too many letters?

12:28 Drew Yes, but it's...

12:31 Diane Farr I'm like, is it 2-0s or 1-0s because they have to squeeze in letters?

12:34 T-O-O. Late.

12:35 Drew And they will... Oh, it's number 2. Oh, that's why it's not there. It's 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. L-A-T-E.

12:46 Adam Hold on. You still got 8 numbers there, don't you?

12:49 Diane Farr Yeah, but the E just drops off and that's easier to do.

12:52 Drew 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. L-A-T-E. And listen, they will direct you to a physician or pharmacy in your area whereby you can come upon this product. Okay, so call that now.

13:07 Adam Oh, please don't have any kids.

13:08 Drew That's the most important thing here.

13:10 Adam Go ahead there, Drew.

13:11 Drew With another call.

13:12 Adam So it's really not too late, right?

13:14 Drew I'm already burned out.

13:16 Adam Okay.

13:16 Diane Farr You just relax.

13:17 We'll take care of you. Hey, how's it going?

13:20 Drew Alan17, what's up?

13:22 Anyway, I have a, well, it's more of a question, really. I'm 17. I get a, I get a lot, I hang out at the university and get mistaken as a college student a lot of times.

13:32 Diane Farr Why are you hanging out at the university?

13:34 I always get asked this question. Basically, I just hang out there to study. There's a pool room and all that kind of stuff. It's much better just hanging around the house, basically.

13:42 Diane Farr Do you live near it?

13:45 Sort of. My school, my high school is right next to it.

13:48 Drew You're in high school?

13:48 Yeah, so I walk over.

13:50 Diane Farr So basically, you're there looking for chicks?

13:52 Uh-huh.

13:54 Anyway, basically, I'm watching the impeachment hearings.

13:59 Diane Farr Looking for chicks. It will give oral sex.

14:03 Ooh, it's a high school student actually watching impeachment. Ellen? Sorry, Adam, I'm moving in.

14:09 Adam Diane, try not to speak to the callers.

14:13 Diane Farr How is that my fault?

14:14 Adam Well, here's what I've learned from this show. Understand that once they get going, they have to continue going. If you stop them, they have to run back and start at the beginning again or throw them all off. It's like a couple of drunk chicks doing double Dutch or something. Just stay out of the way, let them state it, and then jump in because our radio callers are even dumber than the ones who call in the TV show. Go ahead, Ellen.

14:41 Caller You're flattery.

14:42 Caller Thanks.

14:45 Caller Anyway, I was talking with this one girl, which I'd estimate to be around between 19 to 23, and basically got to talking and everything, and caught her name and everything, and I was wondering, I've been entertaining the thought of asking her out for, I don't know.

15:01 Drew How old do you think she is?

15:03 Caller What's that?

15:03 Adam Drew, he just estimated her age.

15:05 Drew I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

15:07 Caller I can see that she's a college student. She actually joked about being the White House intern too. So I assume it at least takes a year after college, whatever. So again, between 19 and 23, I'm 17. Would it be fair to ask her out now like that, and should I beware of anything?

15:27 Drew Yeah, beware of the fact that when she finds out you're in high school, she's going to be uncomfortable.

15:32 Caller Okay.

15:33 Drew And go ahead and ask her out if you want to. What the hell?

15:36 Adam Well, do you have your own wheels? Alan, what did you do? Put them on hold?

15:41 Drew Yeah, go ahead. Do you have your own?

15:42 Adam Do you want to get rid of them? I want to know if he has a car.

15:45 Caller Oh, God. I could borrow a car at a moment's notice.

15:49 Adam Listen, I don't need you to run out and buy me a six-pack. I just want to know if she can see you pulling out in your own vehicle.

15:56 Caller Yeah, that's possible. I can organize it well enough to do it.

16:01 Well, hell, what kind of an answer was that?

16:03 Adam That means he doesn't have a car. I'm saying, here's the deal. She's going to be pissed off that he's only in high school once she finds out, but there are a few telltale signs to why one is in high school and not having a car is one of them.

16:17 Diane Farr And not wanting to go to certain bars is the other.

16:21 Adam Right. If he had his own ride in a fake ID, I'd say go for it, but he's going to have difficulty pulling this off. But on the other hand, what's it hurting asking? And don't worry about narrowing down her age. Just ask her out.

16:34 Drew Alright. This is Ted. He's 28. Ted.

16:37 Caller Drew.

16:37 Drew Hey, Ted.

16:38 Caller Hey. I want to talk about Adam's Letterman appearance.

16:41 Drew Alright. Talk.

16:42 Caller I saw it tonight. I thought you were great, Adam.

16:45 Adam Thank you.

16:46 Caller At the end, Letterman said, good luck with your career or whatever. What the hell does that mean?

16:53 Diane Farr Did you mean Adam to interpret it or Drew to interpret it?

16:56 Adam I think he was just getting a jab in there because he had not had a chance to talk too much during my interview. But that's my interpretation.

17:06 Drew That and I think Adam described how his life had meandered through a lot of different jobs. And to talk about that overriding experience as a career was what I think he was referring back to.

17:18 Caller But I thought that he liked you, that he thought you were funny.

17:24 Drew I've seen this on tape now, Adam, okay? And the tape was like twisted and folded, so the first two minutes of the interview was like garbled. Did he come out and say, I'm a fan of his show? He said he's a fan of the show or was that you saying you're a fan of his show?

17:39 Adam I said that I was a fan of my own show.

17:41 Drew No, no, no, no.

17:42 Because he said it to you, then he started asking questions about the show like he'd never seen it before.

17:44 Drew No, Adam said he was a fan of Letterman. I said I was a fan of Letterman's show and that was to be honest, I'm not a fan of his show.

17:48 Adam I'm a fan of his show.

17:48 Drew I'm a fan of his show.

17:49 Adam I'm a fan of his show. I'm a fan of his show. I'm a fan of his show. And that was to sort of set up my piss-my-ass jokes.

17:54 Drew This thing, what I was watching had closed caption. That's all I could see was the closed caption for a while. And there was no sound.

18:00 Adam I hope they spelled Diane's name right.

18:03 Diane Farr Oh yeah.

18:04 Caller Yeah, you mentioned her a lot.

18:05 Diane Farr Didn't he, Jess? He's always so considerate of me.

18:09 Adam I'm looking out for number one. Hey listen, I can see you with a picture of me drawn on that belly of yours in Bikini magazine.

18:17 Diane Farr No, it's actually on my, can I say the other word that you know I want to say?

18:21 Adam Ass crack?

18:22 Diane Farr Yeah, that's it.

18:25 Adam Well anyway, Alan, no, he seemed to get a laugh. He seemed to enjoy me. He seemed like a nice guy and I've heard many a tale about what he does when he doesn't enjoy people. Actually, that was one of the things that was sort of daunting about going out there is it's it's it's bizarre that a comedian because a comedian's job is to sort of hang back crack a few jokes and have a good time it is bizarre when someone gives you a laundry list of things not to do before you go out there yeah and that the guy comes across I mean on television he comes across as the sharp witted interesting articulate guy but when you go backstage all you do is hear these horror stories about what not to do so you tend to it tends to bind you up just a little bit sobering well it's like you'd get your best performance out of me if you said a just go out there and have a good time yeah there's two different approaches and that's why whenever someone comes on our show we just say say whatever you want to have a good time because we give them a whole list of rules you might sort of clog them with information yeah but anyway Donna hi hey Donna 23 oh well first of all Dr. Drew I wanted to say that I really enjoyed the show last night was really good well say that again Donna why tell us why Adam's particularly interesting yeah I did too maybe it's something to do with Adam not being here well let me tell you let me say this occasionally you got to sprinkle a little salt in there just so you can taste the sugar you know what I'm saying Donna listen to this and yeah that was last night show break them up on the TV show and the girls start squabbling here I had a delightful time I felt as though I hadn't connected with the caller in years well my question is basically kind of aimed at Dr. Drew yeah I seem to notice that when I get turned on I get very very wet but I'm afraid that it's like a little more than what a normal person I mean I've talked to my sister about it and she said that she doesn't get as much as that I mean it's almost at the verge of like almost like I pee my pants but I know it's not my bladder okay hold on a second and we got to go to break oh boy Drew at the helm yeah I'm just showing you how to radio professional really runs a radio show here cheesy you know you had your opportunity the other 1,500 shows we did I wonder why you never did it then all right we're going to take ourselves a break Diane Farr who's not only has herself a triple guest starring role in a Drew Carey show but you can also find her on the Fabulous Loveline TV shows our guest tonight we'll take a little break and we'll be back with more Loveline after this.

21:13 We'll be right back with Adam Corolla ladies and gentlemen.

21:20 Loveline's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

21:23 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. We'll be right back.

21:36 Caller Hi, this is Jewel, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

21:42 Caller Hey there.

21:43 Adam Yes, it is us. Plus Diane Farr, our fabulous co-host on the MTV version of the show.

21:49 Caller When are we gonna see you again?

21:50 Diane Farr I know, it's a really long time. And I forgot to mention, I'm doing a fabulous little film right now called Little Indiscretions.

21:57 Drew When's it coming out?

21:59 Diane Farr It'll probably be ready in about a month, actually. I think it's gonna be at the LA Film Festival. Oh, crap, Wednesday.

22:04 Adam Diane Farr is trained, well, she has a dual degree.

22:08 Diane Farr Oh, look at her, a big one either.

22:11 Adam Talk about versatility, not only a theater major, but also drama, everybody.

22:17 Diane Farr Sort of like carpentry and door hanging, right?

22:20 Adam Talk about wearing a few hats. I'll tell you, I don't know where you found the time. Anyway, you can find her on the Drew Carey show, coming up Wednesday on ABC. That would be the 10th, the 17th, and the 24th. No, not the same episode we ran three times, but three separate episodes. She is guest starring in all of them. And I think this will be it for Diane, Drew. I mean, once...

22:45 Drew We won't see her after this?

22:46 Adam Well, the movie comes out, the Drew Carey show goes. I think she's being submitted for Emmy for her work in Arliss.

22:54 Drew Adam, you and I know our producers, right? Yeah. They'll keep her going. They'll find a way to keep her.

23:00 Adam But not on our show.

23:01 Diane Farr Oh, yes.

23:02 Drew They will find a way to keep her.

23:04 Adam They'll spin her off like Mama's family.

23:06 Diane Farr Oh, yeah.

23:07 Drew She'll be spun off also. But they'll find a way to keep her tightly, tightly bound to our show.

23:12 Adam I don't know about that. All the food you can eat in a dressing room that's a little too noisy.

23:19 They would permit her to do all these other things, but they will keep her tightly bound to our show.

23:23 Adam We shall see. Anyway, the fabulously talented Diane Farr is our guest tonight. When we left over speaking to Donna, Donna's 23, she gets a little moist. Donna?

23:34 Hi.

23:35 Caller Hey.

23:36 Caller Well, what I'm concerned about is that, well, it's a little bit more than just getting a little moist. It kind of starts to become a hassle.

23:44 Diane Farr Can I ask you something as a girl here?

23:46 Uh-huh.

23:47 Diane Farr When you're saying that it's like you wet your pants, when you get up from the bed, it's like a circle, the size, it's like you just urinated on the bed or are you exaggerating?

23:55 Adam No, no, no.

23:55 Caller Well, it's not like, it's not like, I know it's not my bladder.

23:58 Diane Farr No, that's not why I'm asking the question.

24:01 Adam How big is the circle?

24:02 Caller My underwear is totally soaked.

24:03 Diane Farr So you're not leaving a big puddle, you have soaked underwear?

24:06 Caller No, I know, but afterwards, after sex, then it's a big, it's not a puddle, but it's a big wet spot. But the thing that I find that's more of a problem and the reason why I was asking, now what I wanted to find out was if there's a way to maybe dry yourself up a little bit, but no.

24:26 Diane Farr Wait, let me ask something. Why do you have it in your head that this is a bad thing?

24:29 Caller Well, because what ends up happening is I am married, and in the middle of it, when you're rolling around and everything, he'll slip out and then he has trouble getting it back in because of the fact that it's so messy. And so that kind of ruins it.

24:45 Drew What's his problem?

24:47 Adam Couldn't you put like a raccoon tail up there, something to soak things up?

24:50 Caller See, I was hoping that maybe there...

24:52 Drew Brush cleaner? Fog cleaner?

24:53 Huh?

24:55 Diane Farr They're just playing with you, Donna.

24:56 Oh, I was hoping that there was something you can eat that would be able to make it, but I'm a big woman after all.

25:02 Caller I didn't know if maybe my weight had something to do with it.

25:04 Adam Can't you eat sawdust or something, Drew?

25:07 Drew How much do you weigh?

25:07 Adam Or kitty litter?

25:08 How much do I weigh?

25:10 Caller A little over 300. I am a big woman.

25:14 Adam Yeah. If you figure a teaspoon every 45 pounds, Drew, isn't that about right?

25:23 Drew It's about right.

25:24 Diane Farr But you know what? Even regardless, I don't think the weight has anything to do with it. This is better than the other way around. Every chick is under the misconception that this is a bad thing. Because somewhere along the line, you think that you have something wrong with you. This is fabulous. This should be the worst problem you have with your husband and he should enjoy this.

25:44 Adam I want to apologize, Diane, because I know you tried to ask the question of how big a spot did she leave. She went around, chased her tail for a few minutes and then came back to the spot on the bed after she was having sex. Did you notice that? No one can answer a question on this show.

26:00 Drew This is Chris 20. Chris?

26:02 Yes.

26:03 Drew What's going on?

26:04 Well, first I want to say that, Drew, you are awesome. You are the shit.

26:08 Drew Oh my God. See, Adam leaves for 20 minutes. I just take over.

26:12 Adam, you do add much flavor to the show though.

26:14 Drew Alright, Chris. Well, be careful. He'll hang up on you. What's going on?

26:19 Okay. Well, I've dated the same girl for about two and a half years, and we have a very good relationship.

26:25 Drew Hang on a second, Chris. Adam, Max is here. Hey, Max, I'm doing the show by myself. Last night of coming up, listen carefully to that. You may want to spin off a new show from Loveline.

26:34 Go ahead, Chris, please.

26:37 Adam That stoner, he doesn't.

26:38 Drew He's standing right here.

26:39 Adam He's a little bit of a power over there. Oh, the hell is this?

26:41 Drew He's your distributor. Chris, what's going on?

26:44 Adam It's Westwood One. Come on. He'd be fired from any other job.

26:48 Well, we started going out. She was 16. I was 17. And we went out for about two and a half years, had a very good relationship, very close. I was very much into her, and she was very much into me. But she recently left me for another guy. And one of the reasons that she gave is that the relationship was too routine.

27:08 Drew Oh, yeah. Well, whatever.

27:11 Adam Yeah. So what do you want to know?

27:13 But the other reason was that I got to the point where, I don't know, it wasn't that I wasn't satisfied, but I had to urge to date other girls. And so I suggested having an open relationship.

27:24 Drew All right, Chris, this relationship wasn't working through and through.

27:28 Diane Farr Right. On either side of it.

27:29 Drew Yeah. It wasn't working for anybody. And you weren't intimate. You weren't connected. You weren't in love.

27:34 Adam Let me give a quick tip to some of the guys who are planning on suggesting an open relationship. Find yourself somebody else with their legs open that you can have an open relationship with before you suggest the open relationship, because halfway into the open relationship speech, she will be humping a guy before you're done with your speech.

27:52 Drew Yeah, guys have some fantasy that this will be a wonderfully adventurous thing for them, when in fact it's usually woefully...

28:00 Well, I want to be honest with her about it.

28:02 Adam Well, I understand, but here's the problem, too, with guys. They think because one chick is stupid enough to bang them, they're all going to jump on board. And what they don't realize is there's probably a good four to six months of downtime, whereas if a woman wants to be with another guy physically, especially if there's a little spite involved, a little vendetta here, she will be with a guy that afternoon, if you have the open relationship conversation in the morning. So, yes.

28:30 Caller It seemed like she was so into me.

28:34 Adam The point is, it's over, right? I mean, what do you want to do about it? It's over. You suggested open a relationship, she's with someone else.

28:44 Drew I mean, Chris, I wonder if you're capable of intimacy. I mean, she was into you and that was accounted. The more she was into you, the more you wanted to open a relationship, and suddenly she left and you start baffling.

28:54 Diane Farr Now, it's a problem. I think the biggest problem is just that she wanted to leave also, but you'll move on. You're only 20 years old.

29:01 Drew You weren't providing her what she needed emotionally, and you've got to do that.

29:05 Adam Let me translate the open relationship just one more time. She opens her legs, you open a porn mag. That is the open relationship, you guys. So be very careful what you suggest.

29:16 Drew Andrew is 15. Andrew.

29:18 Caller Yeah, I'm gay, and I've been hanging out with my best friend a lot, and I've fallen in love with him.

29:27 Drew And how long have you known you've been gay?

29:31 Caller About a year now.

29:33 Diane Farr And he's a heterosexual, I'm assuming?

29:35 Adam He's got you beat by six months.

29:37 Drew Does he know you're gay?

29:38 Caller I don't know.

29:41 Drew You don't know that? And, Andrew, it's understandable that people, particularly males, you have close, intimate feelings for, would sort of develop into something more, okay? Especially at your age. And people at 14, 15, 16 often confuse friendships and sexuality and intimacy. And you're clear that you're gay, and you have a male friend that you're very close to, and it's normal to develop those sorts of feelings.

30:10 Adam Plus, when you're 15, you get the hots for whoever's closest to you. And that can be trouble even in a heterosexual relationship, but at least you have a mathematical chance. When you're gay, if the other guy's not gay, you really don't have a shot, and it just makes it that much more difficult.

30:29 Drew You know, Andrew, you're just choosing the wrong person here. I suspect if he's not gay, it's going to affect the relationship rather badly if you sort of make him feel intruded upon.

30:40 Diane Farr Right. And wouldn't it be fair to say that these feelings will probably subside and he will have them for someone else as he grows into his own sexuality?

30:47 Drew He should, but he's got to be able to understand the boundaries. And there were this relationship, and it's going to be tough for him, I'm sure.

30:53 Adam Let me give you guys my take on the gay lifestyle.

30:57 Diane Farr Because we haven't heard it before.

30:59 Adam It's a little bit weird.

30:59 Drew Why didn't you bring that up on Letterman 2?

31:01 Adam You haven't heard this one. Oh, and by the way, I do know where I told that grandma on the ladder joke, Drew, the Terry Bradshaw show. Is that when we did that?

31:11 That's right.

31:12 Adam That's a couple of years ago. I hope there's repeating. It's tough to be gay when you're 14, 15, 17 years old because you're in high school and other people haven't come out and you don't have your license and you don't have an ID to go to bars. It's tough. It's real slim pickings. I mean, to be 15 and be gay would be very difficult. But in a few years when you're 22 and gay, the world is your oyster. You know what I'm saying? I mean, there's a club on every corner. You go there. You do the amyl nitrate poppers. Everyone gets in a big line. And you're getting it on all night long. You have a thousand dates every night. You know what I'm saying? It's going to pay dividends if you can stick with it. But it's going to be... You see, that was my problem. I had no discipline. I just couldn't stick it out past college. All right.

32:07 Drew This is Laura. She's 29. Laura, what's up?

32:10 Caller Oh, hi. This question is actually for you, Dr. Drew. It's about addiction.

32:15 Drew Excuse me a second, Laura. I was just thinking about something. Adam, I should always sit in this seat.

32:20 That's why the show drags.

32:22 Drew You know what I mean?

32:24 No, I don't mean drags.

32:25 Adam Drags?

32:26 Drew No, I mean in terms of getting from and complaints we don't get from call to call to call fast enough. It's because I should be sitting here.

32:33 Adam Well, maybe if people were bigger fans of mine, the show wouldn't drag. All right, Laura.

32:38 Drew So what's going on?

32:40 Caller Well, this is the situation. I was using drugs for about six years. And I've been clean for three. But I listen to your show a lot. And I hear you always talking about how important recovery is. And I never did any formal recovery. I mean, I've done a lot of things to change my life and to make things better. And I've tried to sort out the reasons why I used. But and I'm just wondering if there's like a period where you're safe.

33:08 Drew What was your drug of choice?

33:10 Caller Speed, like crystal meth.

33:13 Drew I would. The probability is you're still drinking. Is that safe to say?

33:20 Caller No.

33:21 Drew You don't use alcohol at all?

33:22 Caller I have wine once in a while.

33:24 Drew That's what will begin to take over. And that takes a little takes time for that to happen.

33:29 Diane Farr After three years, she couldn't rest. That she controlled her own.

33:33 Drew She's controlling it now, but she's asking, you know, what's the safe period? I've dealt with these kinds of cases a zillion times. And what happens is another seemingly less addictive drug takes over very slowly, usually either pot or alcohol.

33:46 Caller Really?

33:47 Drew In this kind of situation, alcohol. Because you have alcohols in your family, probably, right?

33:51 Caller Well, that's a strange thing. I come from a large family. And a lot of us have had problems with drugs. But my parents don't drink or use anything.

33:59 Drew Then they probably saw something going on in their parents. The grandparents?

34:05 Caller Well, my father's parents died when he was 12.

34:09 Drew That's where you look for the history there.

34:11 Diane Farr Wait a minute, though. Let me ask you something. You know what?

34:13 I'll say, save that thought.

34:14 Adam Hold on a minute. Drew, listen, wrap this one up. This is no teaser.

34:21 Please, go ahead.

34:22 Adam Lie over there and bonk you on the head. Go ahead, Diane.

34:24 Diane Farr Quite often about the programs, but the biggest program going, which is AA or some version thereof, is based on Christianity.

34:31 Drew Oh, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

34:34 Diane Farr What? It's not based on Christianity?

34:35 Drew Absolutely not.

34:36 Diane Farr Oh, come on. How could you say that?

34:38 Drew Absolutely not. It is based on a notion that allows you to have trust in some power outside of yourself, so you don't focus on the need to control.

34:48 Diane Farr That power of Jesus Christ.

34:49 Drew I think it's extremely controlling people, and they need some concept to feel like things will be okay if they just give up that control. Now, some people, because the majority of them have religious backgrounds, will choose sort of religious context for that. But I don't care if they're talking about a coffee cup or you or a clock. Well, it shouldn't be a person, but it can be anything, but just something that gets them outside of their selves.

35:08 Diane Farr Well, what if somebody doesn't want to look at the Christian... I still consider it Christianity. I mean, you could say Dianetics or El Ron Hubbard or whatever.

35:17 Drew You can choose some ancient god or whatever if you wanted. It has nothing to do with Judeo-Christian.

35:24 Adam I know, but people go the Jesus route just because it's easy and they don't have time to pick out a good deity.

35:30 Drew No, they're talking about the god.

35:31 Adam Oh, yes, they do.

35:32 Drew They're talking about higher power, but you try to avoid... They should make every effort to avoid specifying what a higher power is for any given individual.

35:39 Diane Farr But you know when you sit around with people that are in this program, it has a cult-like following to it for the people that are the closest to it. And great if it works for you, but if somebody has a problem with that, basically what you're saying is there's no way for them to stay sober on their own.

35:51 Drew No, this is a complex issue. We should keep talking about it. Can I now go to break out and finish this discussion?

35:57 Adam No, wait a minute now, now hold on a second. Would you relax over there?

36:01 Drew We have to answer Laura's questions for one thing.

36:03 Adam All right, Drew, you don't have any data on people who do have a glass of wine after they've given up heroin. Because you have the ones that have gone off the wagon and who show up in your office, but you don't have the ones who have stayed out of trouble. You know what I'm saying?

36:21 Caller There's one person in my life that has.

36:22 Adam You don't know how many of those there are.

36:24 Drew Those studies have been done a million times, and they always show the same thing, that if you follow the person long enough, the whole thing explodes again if they maintain a relationship with an addictive person.

36:34 Adam I'm saying if the person doesn't explode, you don't count it.

36:37 Drew You know what I'm saying? I don't count it because I don't see it, but the studies that follow the people forward, eventually they get into trouble again if you follow them long enough forward.

36:45 Adam All right. Now hold on a second, Drew, why don't you sell a new call and then we'll go to breakfast.

36:50 Drew I'm not done with Laurie yet. Yes, you are. I'm not done.

36:53 Adam Jesus Christ, I leave town for, what has it been, 17 hours and all of a sudden, there's a new racer in the hen house.

37:01 Drew Time to break, all right?

37:02 Adam Oh boy, am I going to discipline you when I get back there tomorrow.

37:07 Drew You have five seconds.

37:08 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

37:15 Aloha, this is Don Ho and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

37:25 Adam Diane Farr.

37:27 Drew There's so much H in Don Ho's voice. Every word is full of H's. When he says Don Ho, it sounds like Don Ho. It's all just one line.

38:06 Adam Three upcoming episodes of The Drew Carey Show. That'd be the 10th, the 17th, and do the math for the third Wednesday nights on ABC and Drew. Yeah. You know, it's about 10 to 2 out here in New York.

38:22 Drew It's so bizarre, Adam. We have done so much traveling together. I was like having an out-of-body experience imagining I was with you tonight. You know, it's like I knew your every move, where you were staying, where you were having to walk to get into that damn studio. The hassle with the security guard downstairs, which of course, every time we have.

38:40 Caller Every time.

38:41 Adam Every time. It's like I'm some new terrorist taking over the building.

38:44 Drew Every time. We've been there a hundred times, every time. Same hassle. Same guy, I think, every time. And then you go up to what, 14th floor or something?

38:51 Adam Seventeen.

38:52 Drew Seventeen floor. And then there's nobody there. That glass window, you're staying there, knocking and ringing.

38:56 Adam It's like clockwork.

38:58 Drew And then go around the corner and everything's good.

39:02 Adam What time am I leaving tomorrow morning, Drew?

39:06 Drew Let's see. This is set up by our management. Six-Fifteen.

39:11 Adam Let's play Guess Adam's wake-up call. Now, keep in mind, I won't be back to the hotel. My hotel's a little further away this time, Drew. I'll never be back to the hotel until 3.30 this evening.

39:23 Drew Six-Fifteen.

39:26 Adam Wake-up call. Yes. You know what the toughest part about that wake-up call is, is I call in for the wake-up call before I come do this. Because I don't want there to be confusion. I don't want to call in at four in the morning for Five-Forty-Five wake-up call and confuse the poor bastards.

39:39 Drew I might call five in the afternoon.

39:41 Adam It's always that extra degree of torture when I call in at 11.30 and I go, okay, Five-Forty-Five and they go, I have a good night's sleep. They figure just put the phone down and collapse and I'm thinking to myself, honey, I ain't going to roll in for another four hours.

39:59 Diane Farr And Hitler is your travel agent.

40:01 Caller Oh, boy.

40:02 Adam And here's the other deal too, Drew. I got to be at JFK for an eight o'clock flight. It took me about a half hour to get from JFK to the hotel this morning and I arrived at 6 AM in New York. So when I leave at 6 AM tomorrow, I will arrive at JFK probably around 6.30, maybe 6.35. I will then sit on my puckered anus for at least an hour and 15 minutes in that airport before even moving to get on the plane.

40:30 Drew All right. Let's finish our discussion about addiction. Diane had some interesting questions. And go ahead. Just go ahead.

40:35 Diane Farr Well, where we were getting to after the break of debating, Drew's saying that 100% of the time, someone will slip if they've gone into the point of...

40:42 Drew If you... There's a certain threshold that if somebody passes, and it's particularly true with more addictive drugs, there's no going back.

40:50 Caller There will always be a relapse.

40:51 Diane Farr 100% of the time, you say?

40:52 Drew I've never seen an exception. Now, there's always exceptions in medicine. But it's one of the most predictable things I've found anywhere in medicine. I mean, I have to predict and sort of prognosticate a lot. This is the most certain I've ever been about things. It's uncanny.

41:07 Diane Farr All right. Okay, so then let's take a look at... You're saying that, okay, if she did speed for a while, if she's even having one glass of wine once a week, at some point, she will fall into it. But then let's look at some of the AA things. You're sitting at a meeting. There's 400 people blowing through four cups of coffee in an hour. They're not an addict to this. They're all smoking outside. If you're supposed to be losing your issues of control, they're only doing it on certain things.

41:32 Drew It is... I need to sort of develop for you all how the biology works, but it is a conditioning of a tiny reason of the mesolimbic reward center called the nucleus accumbens. And when that gets properly conditioned in an extra physiologic way, it has drives of its own.

41:46 Diane Farr So, your nicotine is not going to do it?

41:49 Drew Doesn't tend to drive it.

41:50 Diane Farr But you believe that methadone does?

41:51 Drew Oh, profoundly. Profoundly. Profoundly.

41:53 Diane Farr Oh, God.

41:54 Drew Profoundly. It's just...

41:56 Diane Farr So, what's the difference between the methadone and the nicotine? Neither one of you is sorting your brain out. You're just addicted to one of them because you think it helps you.

42:03 Drew No. They have to extra physiologically stimulate that tiny region of the mesolimbic reward center. And if they don't do that extra physiologically in a in a threshold capacity, there's no addiction. Addiction does not develop.

42:18 Adam Drew doesn't like methadone by the way, Diane.

42:20 Diane Farr That's what I'm saying, Nick, is there's that one call that Dan the show with the girl who's saying she was clean for four months for the first time in her life.

42:27 You have to go.

42:28 Drew It's very interesting. I mean, anybody that experiences people in addiction, even for like, you know, it has six or eight months of clinical experience, there's absolutely no doubt about how this all works.

42:39 Diane Farr So if someone spends a year...

42:40 Adam Diane managed a club in New York. So I think she has more addiction experience, real-world addiction experience than you do, Drew.

42:46 Diane Farr Yeah, and Drew is half Jewish and I'm half Irish, so that gives me ten times more. But it's like the methadone thing, in my opinion. It's like if somebody's brain is functioning on a normal level for the first time...

42:59 Drew No, they're not. That's the thing.

43:01 Diane Farr So you're saying it's getting them high, or it's getting that thing high that you're talking about.

43:05 Drew Getting that reward center high and it changes...

43:06 Diane Farr So even if their brain is functioning normally, you still think that's bad.

43:09 Drew It's not functioning normally. I guarantee you it's not.

43:11 Diane Farr So why is it normal if they're on nicotine?

43:14 Drew It's a totally different chemistry, a totally different physiology altogether. I don't think nicotine is good. I'm not defending it at all.

43:19 I totally agree with you.

43:20 Drew That should go also. But the clinical reality is that people can smoke and not relapse. And the theory seems to be that the extra physiologic stimulation of this part of the brain is just not occurring.

43:31 Diane Farr So then what you're saying to Laura is there is no way in hell she will stay sober unless she goes to some group.

43:38 Drew No, I'm saying there's no in hell that she will stay abstinent if she continues a relationship with a substance that continues to activate that part of the brain pharmacologically.

43:47 Diane Farr Okay, so as long as you take that.

43:49 Adam That's what you said, Diane.

43:50 Drew I'm not saying she has to go to a program. She's been able to kind of control it.

43:54 Adam You're going to keep at it. I'm going back to hotel and masturbate.

43:57 Drew One more thing is that the problem is when you take all the substances away from somebody who is used to using that as their primary coping strategy, they start having rather substantial symptoms, usually depression, anxiety, this sort of thing. Unless you replace it with something, which is typically therapy or recovery, which is the basis of recovery is a connected relationship, an intimate relationship, with a person who has had similar experiences to you. That's it. That's the foundation. That's the principle.

44:26 Diane Farr But in that theory, then, if somebody has that relationship with somebody in their life, they don't need the program.

44:31 Drew They don't. No. Absolutely.

44:34 Diane Farr So if Laurie can cut out the alcohol and not use any of those reward things, which I guess are the things that we would imagine, and find her way to true intimacy, she should be okay. Okay. I can live with that.

44:48 Drew Adam, we're ready for you now. You asleep?

44:51 Huh?

44:53 Drew Here's a good call for you.

44:54 Adam What's going on over there?

44:54 Drew Erica, 27, what's going on?

44:57 Caller Yeah, first of all, I just want to say hi to Adam and Diane. And Dr. Drew, this question is for you. You basically just saved me talking about the morning after pill. On Saturday night, I was raped, and I did get the morning after pill today, and that really, really helped me, you know, with everything else that I'm dealing with. Um, it was a vaginal and an anal rape.

45:35 Diane Farr This was on Saturday?

45:37 Caller Yeah.

45:38 Diane Farr Have you done anything other than the pill about it yet?

45:41 Caller Have what?

45:42 Diane Farr Have you done anything else? Are you thinking of reporting it?

45:45 Caller Um, well, I went to my therapist today, and I talked to her about it.

45:50 Drew This isn't the first time you've been raped, is it?

45:52 Caller Yes, it is.

45:53 Drew Never been victimized otherwise?

45:54 Caller No, I haven't.

45:55 Drew Okay. And, Erica, I don't mean to seem cruel, but we have to put you on hold for a second, okay? Hang on a sec, we will get immediately back to you. But Adam, we must go to break right now.

46:04 Adam Alright, man, we'll get to the bottom of this, because there's something more here.

46:08 Drew Yeah.

46:09 Adam Alright.

46:10 Drew Alright. Adam, go ahead.

46:12 Alright, well, hey, nice to see you.

46:15 Good to have you here.

46:16 Adam It's a real pleasure, Ed.

46:18 Good luck with the career, or whatever.

46:22 Love Line, Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew.

46:24 The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

46:26 Adam We'll be right back. Hey there, kiddies, it's Loveline. Our guest tonight is the fabulous Diane Farr from the Loveline TV show, also from the Drew Carey show, at least some of the time. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE191. I believe we got to send it to our 10-second affiliate identification thing. We'll do that now. We'll be back with more Loveline in 10 seconds.

47:18 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

47:23 Caller 90 AKUPD, Tempe, Phoenix.

47:34 Adam Hey, there.

47:35 Diane Farr Drew is in the bathroom. I was trying to tell you to quick get something in before he came back.

47:40 Adam Oh, that is so Drew.

47:42 Diane Farr But he's back.

47:42 Caller I'm back.

47:44 Adam All right, so Drew is over there in LA as well as Diane Farr, and me, Adam is out here in New York, is out here in New York. That's good grammar.

47:55 Drew And Erica is here on the phone. She's 27. She was raped.

47:59 Caller Yeah.

47:59 Drew And what was the question about?

48:02 Caller I was wondering, I heard just through people talking that when someone has anal sex, that it would be really bad to go straight from the vagina to the anus.

48:17 Caller Is that true?

48:18 Adam It would be worse the other way around.

48:20 Drew The other way is actually, yeah, the other way is probably a little worse for you. And of course, did he wear a condom, do you know?

48:25 Caller No.

48:26 Drew Did you?

48:27 Adam It's okay to go from the kitchen to the bathroom, but not from the bathroom to the kitchen, right?

48:32 Drew Yeah. Thank you, Adam. Did you have HIV done and that's all that business? Get some antibiotics.

48:39 Caller I'm born to see my gynecologist this Thursday. I tried to get in sooner.

48:43 Diane Farr You didn't report it or go to the hospital or anything?

48:46 Caller No, I didn't. I know that's really...

48:50 Drew It's what leads us to conclude that this wouldn't be the first episode of victimization you've been through.

48:56 Caller As far as rape, no. Or yes, this is the first, but as far as...

49:01 Diane Farr Was there any other sexual abuse ever?

49:03 Caller No, not sexual abuse, but physical abuse. But as soon as my ex-boyfriend hit me one time and that's all it took for me to walk out the door and never talk to him again.

49:13 Drew Yeah, but this was a far worse form of abuse than you managed to tolerate this one.

49:18 Adam Who was this guy? You must have known him.

49:20 Caller Yes, I've known him for a year. He's a really good friend of mine, at least, I thought. And as far as not reporting it, it's because I live in a small town that anytime a woman reports anything like this, the justice system rapes her and I'm not going to go through that again.

49:46 Diane Farr Wait, wait, wait, you can go in... Did you say again?

49:50 Caller As far as what happened Saturday night, what the police officers and the lawyers would do to me would be worse.

50:00 Diane Farr Well, there's a couple of things to look at. You can sit with a couple of police officers and report this and they will honestly explain what would happen to you if you did report this. But there's a couple of things. If you say that somebody raped you, they will go and take them in for an arraignment and you cannot go through the whole court case. You can put somebody away where you feel safe till you deal with yourself and then decide to stop it later on. But there is a point of going to someone and saying, this was wrong and this was not right and this is the thing that would most save you from anything like this ever happening again for you to know that you can stand up and that this isn't okay.

50:38 Adam Well, it puts him, gives him a record or at least extends the one that he has, presumably. Hey Erica. Yeah. Now, what was the deal? Were you dating this guy or was just your friend?

50:52 Caller No, he's just like a really good friend of mine and we've been friends for a very long time.

50:58 Adam And did he brandish a knife or something? Yeah, he did.

51:03 Caller It was a kitchen. One of the serrated edge kitchen knives. And he just came out of the kitchen with it. I don't know what it was like. It was like a complete. It's like something just snapped.

51:15 Diane Farr All right.

51:15 Adam So this guy's a violent criminal. I mean, this is this is as good as it gets.

51:21 Diane Farr And Erica, how are you not worried that this that this person could come back?

51:26 Caller I am.

51:27 Diane Farr But you still don't want to report anything?

51:31 Caller You know, when I was in high school, my friend was raped and it was a very violent rape. And, you know, they just they totally screwed her over.

51:42 Diane Farr Well, you know what? Let me tell you this.

51:43 Adam That was 10 years ago, too.

51:45 Diane Farr It was a different thing. And I had a friend that was terribly raped by two people for two days. The girl can never have children. All of the basis of the rape stuff that I know is based out of this woman. And she was in college and she had been drinking. She had been doing drugs. She was wearing a miniskirt. She was walking back from a bar when she was underage. And she could identify the guys from their frat jackets two days later in a in a police station. They said they are going to annihilate you on a stand. And she didn't do anything. But three years later, when he raped somebody else, they did call her because the twisted things that the guy did to the new person, he had also done to her. She went, she testified he was the son of a judge. Didn't go very far. The guy got six months. Well, three more years later, he didn't kill someone. So she went back and testified and the guy got the death penalty. Wow. This thing is never going to go away and this guy isn't going to stop. And if he found the doorknob that he knows how to unlock and terrify someone and rip their soul out of their heart, he will come back and do this. Probably it would seem like the most sensical thing. But him or anyone else, your heart is broken in there. You got to go fix your heart. That's right.

52:54 Adam It is, you know, I don't want to put the burden on somebody who's been to hell and back already. But this, to me, in a way isn't even, it's no different than you spotting a terrorist with a suitcase. I mean, this guy brandished a knife, he sodomized you, he horribly raped you. It is your duty to at least make the authorities aware of this guy for the other poor victim that this guy is going to seize upon.

53:25 Diane Farr And the best thing about even her having to be a hero and do something about this is it will do wonders for her. You're going to carry this around with you in your heart for the rest of your life. The best thing you can do is try and fix it.

53:36 Drew All right, this is Richard.

53:37 Adam I'll tell you, and Diane Farr does not, she's led the kind of life where not only is she led three and a half lives, but she has a friend who's been through every single possible scenario. I got like a buddy, Vince, who got popped for urinating on his lawn once. That's as far as it goes. Diane Farr has a friend who's done everything, and if her friend hasn't done it, Diane did it. I mean that in a loving way. But I mean, have you ever met someone more experienced than Diane Farr? Who's traveled more, who's seen more?

54:09 Drew We've been working with her for two years, and at least once a working day with her, we look at each other and go, oh my God, I didn't know that.

54:17 Adam She's been on all 13 continents.

54:21 Drew I think she's been on a space shuttle.

54:24 Adam I wouldn't be surprised. I really wouldn't.

54:26 Drew This is Richard, he's 33.

54:28 Caller Hi Dr. Drew, hi Adam, hi Diane Farr. First off, I want to congratulate Adam for scoring one on David Letterman for The Little Guy. Even though you might never be back on the show, at least you scored one for everyone.

54:42 Drew Why wouldn't he be back on? Because he overshadowed Letterman?

54:46 Caller What's that?

54:47 Drew Why wouldn't he be back on?

54:48 Caller Well, he didn't overshadow, but I would say he kind of took over the show for at least the first five minutes that he was on. But Adam, you did score big time for all of us who wanted to tell everybody to kiss our asses.

55:01 Adam Thank you, but I wasn't thinking of you, caller.

55:03 Caller I know, but we kind of shared the victory. All right. And with this last caller, this is just another reason why the morning after pill, should be readily available to anyone who needs it. If it wasn't, and this woman got pregnant, and she decided to keep the child, I mean, if just something happened where she couldn't get an abortion or whatever, she'd have to deal with this child and the fact that she had it every day of her life.

55:32 Adam She and we, by the way, is a society, because this would be a child with no father, hopefully no father, and the genes of a rapist running around out there.

55:43 Caller Right, and I have to work extra hard at my job, because millions on welfare depend on me.

55:48 Diane Farr Oh, you do listen to Adam a lot.

55:49 Adam You work for the lottery?

55:51 Caller What's that?

55:52 Adam You work for the California Lottery?

55:53 Caller No, not at all.

55:55 Diane Farr Oh, really?

55:56 Adam I can't think of another job where welfare recipients spend their money.

56:01 Drew He means he actually has a few supports, Adam, just like you.

56:04 Adam Oh, I see.

56:05 Caller I work very hard to support him.

56:07 Adam Oh, okay. Yes, me too.

56:08 Diane Farr It's part of your diet drive.

56:09 Adam I like to think all my money is going to the military. It's just a fantasy I like to have when I cut the IRS a check.

56:16 Diane Farr You mean not to the garbage department?

56:18 Adam No, please.

56:20 Drew I'm surprised you're going to bring that up on Letterman.

56:23 Caller Yeah, right.

56:23 Adam All right, Drew.

56:24 Caller Anyhow, Drew, the other day you said something to the effect of no matter what it takes, you're going to try to do something to get the morning after bill readily available to you.

56:33 Drew Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm trying to get in touch with that company.

56:37 Caller Okay, do you remember in the 80s, Frank Zappa appeared in front of Congress to try to get the PMRC to not ban certain album sales to minors. Instead, they got the parental advisory sticker put on the front of albums.

56:53 Drew Yeah.

56:54 Caller Well, if a celebrity like Frank Zappa can cut his hair, put on a three-piece suit and go in front of Congress, surely you and Adam have enough testimony with just the radio show alone that you can present a case even if you start locally to get the Morning After Pro readily available.

57:11 Adam I'm all for it. What would a gig like that pay? Because I don't make personal appearances unless there's a little coin.

57:20 Drew I think Richard is going to take a little, a sprinkling of civil disobedience to get it going.

57:26 Caller Well, yes.

57:28 Drew And I don't mean... I mean, we have to stretch the laws such as they are to distribute it, I think. But I'm looking into it.

57:39 Adam Well, listen, you know, I was just watching tonight on HBO, for the Inside Sports thing. You know, gambling, sports book is illegal in 48 of the 50 states, but they still do all these offshore accounts, and they work their way around it. People get on the Internet, these guys have these sports books and Antigua...

57:59 Drew Adam, that is precisely the kind of thing I want to try to figure out.

58:01 Adam And I don't see why... Hey, if we can bet on sports, why we couldn't get this spread out.

58:07 Drew That's exactly the kind of thing. I want to do it as legally as possible, but I'm sure it's going to be pressing the envelope a little bit. So that's my plan.

58:13 Caller Well, yeah, but with the support of your local lawmakers and your local officials, I'm sure with your celebrity status, you can get the ball rolling.

58:21 Drew I think it's going to have to be done. I'll get the ball rolling, but I think it's going to have to be a state-by-state issue.

58:27 Adam I got our chant all worked out, Drew. We're here, Drew's queer, get used to it.

58:33 Drew This is Michael.

58:34 Adam That may need a little more work.

58:36 Drew 32, Michael.

58:36 Adam It's a good rough draft. Hey, how are you tonight?

58:40 Drew Michael, good.

58:40 Caller Good.

58:41 Caller Hey, uh, Drew.

58:43 Drew Yeah.

58:43 Caller Uh, Diane.

58:45 Diane Farr Yeah.

58:45 Adam How are you?

58:46 Diane Farr Good.

58:47 Adam Good. And Adam, how are you? I'm fine. Good.

58:52 Caller Um, I've got a bit of a problem. Um, um, I guess I'd say I'm engaged.

59:01 Caller I'm not quite sure.

59:02 Diane Farr Michael.

59:03 Yes.

59:05 Diane Farr Are you shooting this afternoon?

59:09 Caller Yes.

59:10 Diane Farr Michael is the costar in the film I'm doing called Little Indiscretions, and plays my rock star fiance.

59:17 Drew Really?

59:17 Diane Farr Victor, you didn't even notice I have an engagement ring on.

59:19 Drew Wow, look at that.

59:20 Caller Does she have an engagement ring on?

59:22 Drew It's a huge diamond.

59:24 Diane Farr Actually, it's a really good friend of mine's, it's real.

59:27 Be careful.

59:28 Drew I remember, was it, who?

59:29 Caller I'm still playing with it, Diane.

59:30 Diane Farr I'm told, I was just playing with it. That's what made me remember.

59:33 Caller That's right.

59:34 Caller Standing up high, right?

59:36 Diane Farr It's so, oh, God, I went on a date on Saturday night and didn't even think about it, and I walked into the restaurant with an engagement ring on. The guy didn't say anything. It took like an hour. I was sitting there like...

59:45 Drew That's how foppish and doltish we are as men. It's like, hey, what does this mean?

59:50 Diane Farr And I was like, hey, did you see this? It's for this film. And he was like, oh, I just was kind of hoping it was so people didn't ask you out.

59:58 Caller Well, see, we have to resort to thinking that.

1:00:02 Diane Farr How are you doing?

1:00:03 Caller Good, good, good.

1:00:05 Caller You know, Diane is quite a kisser, I might have to say.

1:00:08 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:09 Diane Farr So Michael kisses and tells on national radio.

1:00:13 Adam You guys had a love scene in the movie?

1:00:16 Caller On top of a bar.

1:00:18 Diane Farr Wait a minute, wait a minute. We're sitting at the bar and we're kissing.

1:00:23 With our clothes on.

1:00:25 Adam Hey, when you, when you, especially with those artsy type of films, when you kiss, you really got to kiss, right?

1:00:31 Yeah.

1:00:33 Adam Do you have to use tongues?

1:00:34 Diane Farr It depends on the shot.

1:00:36 Yes, it does. What do you use?

1:00:38 Diane Farr Go ahead, Michael, you kiss and tell, you tell.

1:00:41 Adam Michael, did she use her tongue on you?

1:00:43 Caller Bitching.

1:00:44 Oh, God.

1:00:45 Adam Watch the film.

1:00:48 Diane Farr Or not tell it?

1:00:49 Adam Well, I might, depending on whether she used her tongue or not.

1:00:53 Diane Farr I'll give you another issue of Bikini. You can come to the premiere, Adam.

1:00:57 Caller I can't wait to look at that one.

1:00:59 Adam When is the premiere?

1:01:01 Diane Farr I don't know yet. We don't wrap until Wednesday.

1:01:04 Caller Yeah, we don't wrap yet.

1:01:05 Adam Well, Michael, isn't Diane a fantastic actress?

1:01:08 Caller Actually, you know what? I was just talking to some friends of mine tonight.

1:01:12 Caller Yeah, she is.

1:01:14 Caller She's incredibly natural.

1:01:15 Caller I loved working with her.

1:01:16 Diane Farr Thank you very much, Adam. You're making up for Letterman very well.

1:01:20 Adam Well, I mean it. Drew and I just do what Drew and I do. But Diane, really, she's multi-talented.

1:01:28 Drew I mean, she has a talent unlike us.

1:01:31 Adam Well, that's what I mean. She has a talent. It's not necessarily multi, but in the face of zero talent, having a talent is a plethora of talent.

1:01:40 Diane Farr All right. This is way too nice. Let's not spoil me. Take another call. Michael, thank you for calling. You're very welcome. I'm enjoying everyone we made out today. My pleasure. I'll see you tomorrow.

1:01:52 Adam Bye, Michael. Couldn't have got someone from the Drew Carey Show to call in for Christ's sake.

1:01:58 Diane Farr It's early.

1:02:01 Drew Travis, 17.

1:02:02 Caller Yeah. First, I'd like to say the show was really great last night, Drew. I loved it.

1:02:08 Drew Thank you, Travis. Yes.

1:02:09 Caller Adam, I like you too, but you know, he just made me cut down on sarcastic work sometimes. Actually, for the past six years, I've been having some problems with one of my friends, just very, very sexually attracted to her and just can't get to sleep at night and just have, just, I, I can't really say that I love her.

1:02:37 Caller How old is she?

1:02:39 Caller Less than a third, yes.

1:02:40 Drew How old is she?

1:02:41 Caller She is 16.

1:02:42 Drew Does she have any idea you feel like this?

1:02:44 Caller Huh? Yeah, she's known.

1:02:46 Drew She knows you feel like this.

1:02:48 Caller Huh?

1:02:48 Drew She knows you feel like this.

1:02:50 Yeah.

1:02:50 Drew Does she reciprocate your feelings?

1:02:52 No, she kinda, just...

1:02:56 Drew Adam, this is that relationship. Hold on, I'm going to tell you about this one. This is the one that most guys get to have at some point in their high school life.

1:03:05 Adam And I'm taking the kid gloves off too because of Travis' first remark about me. Here's the deal. Well, first off, you knew this one was in the dumpster when he said, she's known, meaning she didn't just find out yesterday. She's been aware of this since the eighth grade.

1:03:23 Caller Managing it, right.

1:03:24 Adam And managing it. What happens when you're young is you have enough fantasy for the two of you, maybe even a third. You know what I mean? You got so much that you can smear it on the person next to you and their sister and their mom if they're in the way. This is what a fool believes, Travis. Believe me, she ain't interested. If she was, you would have known by now and something would have happened. Now, don't kill yourself. That's okay. Everybody goes through this.

1:03:56 Drew And some of them stick with it for a few years and some of it, they get over it after a few weeks.

1:04:00 Diane Farr Wait a minute. Isn't it quite fair that most females have this at this age too?

1:04:04 Caller Because, like, she wants to leave it.

1:04:08 Drew Stop, Travis. Stop.

1:04:10 Caller Don't do it to yourself.

1:04:11 Drew Stop.

1:04:12 Diane Farr First of all, if she's doing anything with you, she's just there to torture you. If you have put out that much feeling for a person and they're not really reciprocating it, anything else is just to have a slave. And don't be a victim to it.

1:04:23 Drew Don't do it, Travis.

1:04:25 Adam I blame Disney for really perpetuating this whole retarded mess. I really do. Every one of their stories is based around some guy, you know, some the village fool or some knave who's got the hots for some princess. She naturally, what is the first encounter like every time, Drew?

1:04:44 Drew She hates him.

1:04:45 Adam She hates him.

1:04:46 Diane Farr And he's in love.

1:04:46 Adam She can't stand him.

1:04:48 Drew Yes.

1:04:48 Adam But what happens by the end of the film?

1:04:51 Drew She sees the true inner beauty and falls in love with him. And he's in for everything except the Hunchback of Notre Dame ends that way. And I expected that one end that way too. And she sees through his outer skin and harshness and sees what a wonderful person he is and a lot of nonsense.

1:05:07 Adam Here's a reality to women who hate you when you first meet them. They hate you a little more six months down the road. That's the way it goes and in a very rare occasion can you turn it around but that's not at the high school level.

1:05:21 Drew Right.

1:05:22 Adam High school people are attracted to people or not attracted to people. Everything is all the work is done in the first or second meeting and that's it. You move on.

1:05:32 Drew And Adam asks if girls do this too. And guys tend to do this. We run into young men that do this.

1:05:38 Diane Farr Actually Diane asks if girls do this to Adam.

1:05:43 Drew I'm out of it tonight. I screwed up everybody's names. But Diane asked if girls do this. And girls do certainly get crushes and stuff. But they're not as obsessive of guys. Guys seem to have one preoccupation like this they go through very often. And it's always the nice guys that do this too, right Adam?

1:06:00 Adam Right.

1:06:00 Drew They're the nice guys.

1:06:01 Adam They're nice to everyone but themselves. And yeah, women get it but they're able to sort of shake it, move on and get in touch with reality just a little bit quicker. Or maybe they just have more opportunity at 16 and 17 than a real nebbish guy. I mean a real nebbish guy could float through his whole high school without a date. A nebbish girl at least has the opportunity. Maybe somebody will ask her out. But anyway, our overwhelming advice is to get over it, Travis.

1:06:33 Drew Vince, 29.

1:06:34 Caller Yeah, this is Vince.

1:06:36 Drew Yeah, Vince, what's going on there, Vince?

1:06:37 Caller I'm trying to end up killing myself, not through any physical means, but by wearing myself out, not sleeping or anything, and I'm so depressed.

1:06:50 Adam Drew had been attempting suicide that way for the last 14 years. And drinking though, Vince, right?

1:06:58 Caller No, I'm not drinking any alcohol.

1:07:00 Adam Really?

1:07:01 Caller I'm staying awake and overworking myself, because I can't get anywhere in life. I'm 29, I just turned 29 last December. Never been married, don't have any kids, single. Don't think I want anything to do with me.

1:07:14 Adam Well, wait a minute, let's not jump to conclusions here.

1:07:19 Caller It appears to be like that. They say I'm too weird.

1:07:23 Adam Too weird for what?

1:07:25 Caller I'm too weird.

1:07:26 Adam Oh, just in general?

1:07:27 Diane Farr In what way? Do they give you a specific?

1:07:30 Caller Oh, I... When I meet a girl, I tell her I don't... don't care for alcohol, don't do drugs or anything like that. My heart goes out to everybody, and I help everyone I can.

1:07:43 Drew What do you do for a living?

1:07:44 Caller Nothing.

1:07:46 Adam I thought you worked yourself to the bone.

1:07:48 Caller Well, I get a lot of stuff in, and I'm remodeling my house. Well, you got a house.

1:07:55 Adam That ain't bad.

1:07:56 Caller I'm going to pay rent. I'm trying to buy it, but...

1:07:59 Adam Why don't you do anything for a living?

1:08:02 Caller I draw two checks every month. Yeah.

1:08:08 Caller What for?

1:08:10 Caller Because of some 12 years of incarceration.

1:08:15 Drew For what?

1:08:17 Caller I was age 13 to 25.

1:08:19 Drew For what?

1:08:21 Caller I was... When I was younger, I was extremely violent and hyper.

1:08:26 Drew What were you incarcerated for? I'm asking for the third time.

1:08:30 Caller I was first got in trouble because I beat that person up and I went to court and asked the court if they would place me in a church home and end up being a group home. And from the group home, SRS took over and placed me in the youth centers.

1:08:44 Diane Farr There isn't... You didn't have another violation.

1:08:46 Adam So you beat a guy up when you were 13 and that's your only offense?

1:08:50 Caller Yeah. I went to court. I could have gotten probation, but they asked the courts to place me in a Christian group home or a Christian school because I was really heavily in church.

1:09:03 Diane Farr What did you do to get from the home to the youth center?

1:09:07 Caller I wanted to get from home to the youth center. I was in a group home.

1:09:12 Caller What did you do?

1:09:13 Caller I was in a group home and SRS, since I was a minor, SRS wanted to have me screened, evaluated at one youth center.

1:09:24 Adam Hey, let me just ask a little more directly. Did you kill anybody?

1:09:29 Caller No. I had a choice of probation, but I talked to the district attorney about going to a Christian school which didn't allow me to go.

1:09:36 Adam Okay. All right. So Vince, let me stay along with Vince here for about 30 seconds. Vince, are you unable to work because of a mental condition?

1:09:47 Caller No. Not really. Every time I get a job, I got friends that tell me, don't lose your social security. Right.

1:09:54 Adam But I don't understand why you get social security just because you were incarcerated.

1:09:59 Caller I was in mental institution for nine years. I was beaten severely.

1:10:04 Adam You were beaten severely?

1:10:06 Caller Yeah. Okay.

1:10:07 Adam So you've had a very difficult life. But Vince, don't listen to your buddies, mainly because they're your buddies. You know what I'm saying? And I believe that he says he's hard working. Well, again, I think Vince has problems that may be bigger than Loveline. Wouldn't you guys say? Yeah. But if you say you're as hard working as you are, you don't have a job. It's a little bit confusing. But don't you agree that when you give somebody a handout this way, it makes someone who's bad, worse, and it sort of cuts you off at the knees? Horrallity. And especially for a man. And Diane, I know you don't like us separating the genders. But I'm going to do this for a second. You know, there's certain things that come with the territory. And as a male, so much of your personality or so much of your ego is wrapped up around your livelihood.

1:11:04 Drew You have a sense of yourself.

1:11:05 Adam It is so important for you as a male to feel like you're bringing home the bacon and the breadwinner and all those other bad cliches that involve products that you eat. We've got to move on to like toaster ovens and VCRs. But the point is, is when you take a guy who's 29 from a small town and you have him sitting waiting by the mailbox twice a month, it just cuts him off at the knees. It like cuts the scrotum right off. I think Vince needs to not listen to his moronic friends who, by the way, if you told them you'd pay them, you know, $622 bucks a month, they would quit their job in a heartbeat because they're pathetic. And they look at this as a meal ticket or a free ride, but the reality is the joke is on you. The joke is absolutely on you. Vince, you're a hard working guy. Get a job and work hard. Take your meds and stay out of trouble. Keep away from sharp objects. All right.

1:12:09 Drew All right.

1:12:10 Caller We gotta go to break.

1:12:11 Adam Thanks, Drew.

1:12:12 Caller Tell people what it is.

1:12:14 Drew What is the show?

1:12:14 Adam What is the precept of the program? I sit there and yell at people to kiss my ass five nights a week.

1:12:25 The phone number for Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:12:29 Loveline will be right back. Hi, this is Jamie Kennedy, and you're listening to Loveline with Ace Rockolla and Dr. Drew.

1:12:58 Adam Yes, you is. I tell you, I miss that SinSonic drum. I really do, Drew.

1:13:04 Caller Drew. Yeah.

1:13:05 Adam Yeah, we're starting the show.

1:13:06 Caller Dianne Farr.

1:13:07 Drew We knew we were starting the show, I just learned to drown out your voice. Not even pay attention to anyone. When you're not here in my face, yelling at me, trying to get my eye contact, you get so offended, we're not listening to every word you say. Go ahead.

1:13:22 Diane Farr Go back to Diane Farr, but don't fight with her.

1:13:24 Adam Yes. Diane Farr is our guest tonight. Diane Farr is on the fabulous MTV version of this show. And you can also find her, well, you can find her in this month's Bikini Magazine. In a bikini, coincidentally enough. And on the Drew, yeah, upstairs and downstairs. And the Drew Carey Show, that would be Wednesday nights on ABC. Now she's coming up on the 10th, the 17th, and the 24th. Three consecutive nights, or I should say weeks of Diane Farr, who's as we've established a fine actress. And Drew, by the way, when I was at the Letterman Show, they didn't bring you up at all.

1:14:07 Drew I appreciate that.

1:14:08 Caller Ready to move on?

1:14:09 Drew I appreciate you bringing me up for one or two sentences on the air, though, that was nice.

1:14:13 Diane Farr I appreciated it, particularly, too.

1:14:16 Oh, yeah.

1:14:17 Drew Now, it's Adria. She's 23. Hi.

1:14:20 Caller I have a question about the success rate for vasectomy reversals.

1:14:25 Drew Depends what kind of vasectomy, and it depends what kind of reversal they attempt, but I don't know the data out top of my head. I know it's never 100%.

1:14:33 Diane Farr Why do you want to know?

1:14:35 Caller My fiancee had one. Had a... He said that they went in, they clipped it, and they showed up the tube inside of him, so he said he's still producing sperm. Is that true? I mean, could he still be... it's not coming out of him?

1:14:49 Caller Yeah.

1:14:50 Drew They always continue to produce sperm, but the question is, has the plumbing been re-hooked up? Can it get where it needs to go?

1:14:57 Caller Is there any way to find out what is... I mean, if his sperm count is even high enough to...

1:15:02 Drew Yeah, get a sperm count.

1:15:03 Caller You can't even with the site to be reversal?

1:15:07 Adam Well, it'll register zero, but you can go ahead and tally them up.

1:15:11 Drew Yeah, I don't understand what you're asking. A sperm count is a sperm count, right?

1:15:14 Caller Why is it that you can find what it is before having the reversal?

1:15:18 Diane Farr Oh, so she's asking, can they tell what's inside when it comes out?

1:15:23 Adam No, no, she's asking... no, I think she's asking, can she get a sperm count so that she can then go ahead and go for the reversal?

1:15:30 Drew Is that the question?

1:15:32 Caller Exactly.

1:15:32 Drew The sperm count should be about zero.

1:15:35 Adam Yeah, it is.

1:15:36 Caller His doctor said that it will be successful depending on what his sperm count is.

1:15:42 Drew Oh, I see.

1:15:42 Caller There's no way to find out before the reversal is what I want to know.

1:15:47 Drew Again, I'm not a urologist, so I'm not quite sure even what they're asking you.

1:15:52 Adam Well, they're saying maybe you get a reversal, but he has a bad sperm count, therefore you get the reversal. The scale can't produce, but that's a retarded notion, isn't it?

1:16:01 Drew I would think.

1:16:02 Adam Well, whatever his chances are, whatever anyone's chances are, right?

1:16:06 Drew That's what I would think.

1:16:07 Diane Farr Because a vasectomy isn't going to affect the count.

1:16:10 Drew It sounds like they're telling her it would. I wasn't aware that it would, so we have to look that up. Roxy, 22. Well, why?

1:16:15 Adam Do you shut down or something?

1:16:17 Drew You do shut down a little bit, but I didn't think it was permanent. Roxy.

1:16:21 Caller Hi. Hey. First of all-

1:16:22 Adam Hi, let me ask you one more thing to Drew. Is there any way that they can extract the sperm from him, seeing as how he's still producing it, and then they wouldn't need to do the reversal? They could implant it in her.

1:16:36 Drew There is such a thing, but I don't know all the different nuances of how that's done and what the complications and variables are in determining whether that can be successful. The sperm is processed as it goes through the tubes and things. So I don't know what probability they have of success from that kind of harvesting. I don't know if you can harvest it in somebody that's had a vasectomy long in the past. So, Roxy.

1:17:01 Caller Hi. First of all, I just want to say, Dr. Drew, I really, really enjoyed the show last night.

1:17:06 Caller Oh, good.

1:17:08 Caller I found it to be really, really interesting. For that girl that said something about how she thought that you used to have no personality, she doesn't know what she's talking about. I really, really admire you and I learn a lot from you. I find you to be very interesting.

1:17:23 Adam That was last night?

1:17:24 Drew Yeah.

1:17:25 Adam That is my sister.

1:17:26 Caller And I love you too, Adam.

1:17:28 Caller It's really great to, I mean, gosh, it just seemed like there were so many calls that were taken and it just was great. And I just want to tell you that, Dr. Drew, I really admire you.

1:17:36 Drew Well, thank you, Roxie.

1:17:37 Caller You're welcome. My question is, well, I have a couple of questions, actually. I'm a heroin addict. I've got three months of sobriety right now.

1:17:45 Caller There you go. Congratulations.

1:17:47 Adam Consider the source, everybody.

1:17:49 Diane Farr Are you on methadone?

1:17:50 Caller No, I'm not on methadone, thank God. And I'm in AA and NA, and I absolutely love it. And it's not at all like Christian, which what that lady was saying, it's just very important to get a higher power. Yeah.

1:18:05 Caller I have a couple of questions.

1:18:06 Adam She's a mean lady. I don't like her either.

1:18:08 Diane Farr At least she still called me a lady.

1:18:11 Caller I was, I used to, I smoked heroin, and I was wondering if it's possible to overdose by smoking heroin?

1:18:19 Drew I suppose it is. I've never seen anyone do that. The addictive disease that I see from inhaled heroin is just as bad as from shooting it. The medical complications obviously aren't as bad, and people are able to sort of maintain smoking heroin a lot longer than they can when they start shooting. But overdosing, I have not seen it. I think that's why people usually graduate to intravenous, is that they can't get high enough dosing going with smoked heroin. You can get huge doses by inhaling cocaine, crack. But you can't, it's very hard to get very high circulating levels of heroin through smoking it.

1:18:56 Adam How long does the high last when you smoke it?

1:19:00 Caller Well, I've never shot it, so I don't have anything to compare it to, but it lasts for about...

1:19:05 Adam Yeah, you do. Just tell me how long it lasts.

1:19:08 Caller You get an initial rush, but then the high will last you a couple of hours. Yeah, a little more and a little more. I think you use a lot more. I had friends that planned, and I seem to go through a lot more.

1:19:20 Drew Yes, it's less efficient.

1:19:22 Caller Yeah. You guys talk a lot about addiction coming from families and things like that.

1:19:30 Drew About 85% of the time.

1:19:33 Caller But I was wondering about me because I grew up and I have wonderful parents. Neither of them are addicts. Both my parents never drank or anything.

1:19:43 Drew How about their parents?

1:19:45 Caller My grandfather was an alcoholic.

1:19:47 Drew Okay, it only has to be within one or two degrees. And so, whose father was that?

1:19:53 Caller It was my dad's dad.

1:19:55 Drew Okay, so we would speculate then that your dad had the gene. And he saw how horrific that was in his father. So he determined never to have a relationship with alcohol. And so the disease skips his generation and then appears in yours.

1:20:08 Caller Okay, because my parents were both really good. And I was just, I'm just wondering. So you think maybe it was from my grandfather then?

1:20:14 Drew Yeah.

1:20:15 Diane Farr Okay. Yeah, and it would be fair to say also that it's not being determined by good or bad. It's just a genetic thing. It's not that your parents did anything wrong.

1:20:22 Caller Yeah, right.

1:20:24 Adam It helps if they're crappy though, I think.

1:20:26 Diane Farr Yeah, good point. Yeah.

1:20:29 Adam Well, you're more apt to want to disappoint them when they're, when they disappointed you.

1:20:34 Caller That's a big reason why I wanted to quit is because I hated what I was doing to my family.

1:20:38 Adam Well, it's interesting. I mean, we talk to people all night long whose parents are born again. So, they're Wiccan whose parents are gay bashers. So, they go homo, you know, and then, but this is sort of the converse, which is you felt badly about what it was doing to your family. They did a good job on you. They loved you. You didn't want to disappoint them anymore.

1:21:00 Caller Yeah.

1:21:01 Adam So, maybe, maybe there is, maybe there is a God, Drew.

1:21:05 Drew All right, Roxie. Good luck.

1:21:07 Caller Thank you very much.

1:21:07 Drew Stay with it.

1:21:08 Caller Bye-bye.

1:21:09 Adam So, let me just, let me get the tally here. We got one heroin addict fan after doing show.

1:21:16 Drew Who brought, who by the way, Roxie, brought up the fact that one of my callers last night mentioned that my personality she thought was just like a limp rag. But she was, but maybe she was wrong. We sort of missed that part of the call. All right, this is Nicole, 26. Nicole?

1:21:32 Hello. Hi, I was wondering if it was normal not having orgasm during sexual intercourse if I could any other way.

1:21:42 Drew All right, Nicole, hang on one second. Adam, we gotta go to break here.

1:21:46 Adam All right. I know you're not going to go to break. I'm guessing that Diane will shine a little light on this when we come back.

1:21:53 Drew Between Diane and Ann, who knows?

1:21:56 Caller Yeah.

1:21:57 Adam Start warming up the tub, ladies. All right. We will take ourselves a little break. We'll come back and delve into Nicole's vagina after this. First, Mr. Gregory. He taught my 10th grade driver's ed class. Oh, is that right? Yeah. I attended every day. I took every test, every quiz. And you failed me, Mr. Gregory. Now I'm on Letterman and you can kiss my ass.

1:22:28 Caller Love Line with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla. We'll be right back.

1:22:50 Caller Hello, this is the Mango from the Saturday Night to the Live. And you did listen to the Loveline with the Adam Carolla sus and the Drew man with the ass. No, you can't have a man.

1:23:04 Caller No mango for you.

1:23:07 Caller I love the mango.

1:23:09 Adam All right, here's the Loveline. Diane Farr is our guest tonight. They are back in LA. This is Adam Corolla. I'm over in New York and Dr. Drew is holding Diane's hand back in LA. Now, Diane Farr is from the fabulous MTV version of Loveline and you can find her coming up on the Drew Carey Show. Three weeks running, starting on the 10th. That would be a Wednesday on ABC. Also, she's got a couple of movies coming out and you can find her in February's issue of Bikini Magazine. So, do we cover it?

1:23:45 Diane Farr Thank you, thank you, thank you.

1:23:45 Adam Is Drew getting into the popcorn over there?

1:23:47 Caller What's going on? We just started it.

1:23:49 Adam Yeah.

1:23:51 Diane Farr Can you hear me chewing?

1:23:52 Caller Yeah.

1:23:55 Adam Listen, honey, Drew's been on the air for 15 years. I'll let him eat a little popcorn into the mic.

1:24:00 Caller You.

1:24:03 Adam You haven't earned your corn yet. All right. Now, where the hell were we?

1:24:06 Drew We were talking to Nicole, 26, and she was wondering if a woman is orgasmic in ways other than genital intercourse.

1:24:15 Diane Farr Yeah.

1:24:16 Drew Shouldn't she be able to have an orgasm during intercourse?

1:24:18 Diane Farr Or is it the other way around? You're asking, is it normal for a woman not to be able to just because she can from something else?

1:24:25 Adam I think it was Drew's version. Is he right, Nicole?

1:24:28 Yeah. I can any way other than intercourse.

1:24:31 Adam Right. Okay. So then, Diane?

1:24:35 Diane Farr You should be able to have an orgasm at any time, anywhere, and that would be a lovely thing. But you're not alone in that you can't.

1:24:43 Adam Not at all. Listen, many, many women suffer from this. If you want to call it suffering.

1:24:52 Diane Farr You can call it suffering.

1:24:54 Adam Many women, Lord knows I've seen, I've seen it up, up close, first hand everybody, hand being the operative word there, that a lot of women do not have an orgasm via intercourse because there's no direct clitoral stimulation, or as my grandmother would say, clitoral stimulation.

1:25:15 Diane Farr But wait, wouldn't it be fair to say that this is something that she can continue to work on?

1:25:19 Adam I think so, and it seems to me that you just kind of, if you turn it into a sort of mechanical act and you do the math, you just get into a position, which is you on top, where you can get the clitoral stimulation in.

1:25:34 I don't know, it just doesn't seem to work. My fiance kind of went on a mission for a little while, and I just said not to really worry about it, because one way or another the job gets done, so I wasn't too concerned.

1:25:46 Diane Farr That's actually a really good attitude, I think, and as long as both parties are interested in the job being done and it's getting done, I think that's good, but with or without your fiance, whether you're doing it on your own or doing it with him, trying to get to a point of orgasm, you should be able to mimic what you're doing at some point and bring it into intercourse.

1:26:05 Drew Again, this is a more event for the difference between men and women. If a man did not get his orgasm precisely what he was looking for, imagine what chaos would ensue, Adam.

1:26:14 Adam You mean if he wasn't having one with a woman?

1:26:17 Drew Yeah, just the way he wanted to.

1:26:19 Adam Oh, well, Dr. Drew, you're being a little unfair, but she's having her orgasm. It's just not in the position that she wants it in, and she'll find it. And also, women, the vagina is like some sort of 100-year-old cactus that lives out in the desert. It goes through many stages. It really does.

1:26:42 Drew Oh, my God.

1:26:42 Diane Farr I can't believe you just made that analogy. Oh, my God.

1:26:48 Adam A woman can experience things at 32 that she couldn't at 26 and couldn't at 16.

1:26:53 Drew Animals start living in it.

1:26:55 Caller Right.

1:26:58 Adam The desert fox will have a burrow there. It will raise its kid. Perhaps a trapdoor spider will find its home there. The point is, just because it ain't happening at 26 does not mean it's not going to happen, especially if this fiance of yours keeps going on these recon missions by two years down the road or six months down the road. So don't worry about it.

1:27:24 All right.

1:27:25 Drew OK, let's go. This is one for Adam. Brian, 29.

1:27:29 Caller Hey, guys. How you doing?

1:27:30 Drew Good.

1:27:31 Caller OK, I want to start off by saying, Drew, I saw your pilot for your show, and it was absolutely awesome.

1:27:37 Drew Oh, god bless you.

1:27:38 Caller How did you see?

1:27:39 Drew I haven't even seen it.

1:27:39 Caller You know, I actually work at the studio, and I know someone in the editorial room, and I just happened to be. You did a hell of a job.

1:27:46 Drew Well, thank you.

1:27:47 Diane Farr I just thought it was fabulous.

1:27:49 Drew I'll try to dance on fire.

1:27:49 Caller Anything like your radio, if it's going to be anything like your radio show, you're just, you're going to be in for a very happy...

1:27:55 Drew Well, Brian, thank you. I hope it sells somewhere. I was actually going to crack at it.

1:27:59 Adam So, Brian, you were just waiting there by the dumpster when they emptied the trash, and you were able to salvage it?

1:28:05 Caller I was walking down the hall, and I heard a voice. It sounded familiar. I peeked my head in the room, and I just, I actually got to see it. And Adam, also, I live by you in North Hollywood, man.

1:28:15 Adam Oh, fantastic.

1:28:16 Diane Farr He doesn't leave there anymore.

1:28:18 Caller I've actually done a little bit better for myself and got out of the slums.

1:28:22 Adam Oh, you have.

1:28:23 Good, yeah.

1:28:24 Caller Anyway, this is my problem, if you will. I was going to visit my girlfriend, who was babysitting. She gave me a call. She said the kids were asleep, so I came over. I knocked on the door. I heard no answer. So I opened the door, and I saw her engaging in oral copulation with a dog in the bathroom.

1:28:46 Caller Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:28:47 Drew Make sure you're talking truthfully to us before we get into this.

1:28:50 Caller I'm absolutely truthful.

1:28:52 Diane Farr She was babysitting two other kids, and she left the front door open?

1:28:56 Caller Exactly. Let me give you a rundown of my concerns. First of all, I'm a single father. I have a five-year-old son. If I knew my babysitter was doing this, I'd absolutely whip her head off.

1:29:05 Caller Yeah, no tip.

1:29:07 Caller I did not confront her on it. I just shut the door. I called her the next day. I said, listen, I couldn't make it over. I apologize.

1:29:14 Drew She doesn't know that you saw this thing?

1:29:15 Caller She does not know.

1:29:16 Drew Oh my God.

1:29:19 Adam How is it that A, she leaves the front door unlocked while she's babysitting, and B, you open it, see what she's doing, and she doesn't see you, and then you're able to close the door and steal away? How does that work?

1:29:33 Caller The way the house is set up is you open the door, there's a living room. Right behind the living room, there's a kitchen. Behind the kitchen, there's like a family room. So there's two rooms that separated us. So I opened up, I kind of stuck my head in through, I got a clear shot of what was going on. I quietly shut the door and just bailed. My first instinct was to actually call the parents of the children and tell them what I saw. Being a father, that was my main...

1:29:56 Drew Adam, this is for real. You can tell by all the detail and the way he felt about it and the things he's thought out about it.

1:30:01 Adam Right.

1:30:02 Caller Okay.

1:30:02 Drew This is for real. Now, tell us more about your girlfriend. I mean, what's up with her?

1:30:06 Caller That is really, really weird.

1:30:08 Caller She's 27 years old. She's got a good job.

1:30:10 Diane Farr She's a babysitter and she's 27.

1:30:13 Caller I'm sorry? It was her sister's kid that she was babysitting for. It was more of a favor, not an income thing.

1:30:19 Adam Could you imagine, by the way, if Brian called up the parents and ratted her out and then the parents arrived at the house and said, listen, we know what was going on. She'd look at the dog and think the dog talked.

1:30:34 Caller You bastard.

1:30:35 Adam All the dreams, the plans we had ruined. Oh my God. All right.

1:30:41 Diane Farr So this girl could seriously do this to a dog. She had victim stamps on her forehead.

1:30:47 Adam Well, hold on a second now. Now, everyone just listen and try not to be judgmental for just a second.

1:30:55 Diane Farr Oh God. You're not really going to go here.

1:30:58 Adam I am saying, if she's wearing a skirt, she's wearing a skirt, right, Brian?

1:31:06 Diane Farr Yes, she was.

1:31:07 Adam Yeah. And let's say she's watching like that VIP show.

1:31:11 Diane Farr Oh God.

1:31:12 Adam And the juices are flowing a little bit. She's become a little bit aroused. All right. Then the dog, maybe she had a glass of red wine while she was relaxing after putting the kids down. Now, she's watching the show and the dog walks up and the dog starts sniffing around and the dog starts licking because the dogs will do that. I mean, you walk in in a pair of shorts and a dog will start licking your knee. Right?

1:31:36 Caller She was doing something to the dog.

1:31:41 Adam Okay, hear me out.

1:31:43 Caller Holy Christ.

1:31:45 Adam I thought the dog was performing on her.

1:31:47 Caller She was performing on the dog.

1:31:50 Adam Okay, let's just say she was running. She just mopped the floor. Oh, for Christ's sake.

1:31:57 Caller Yeah, that's tough.

1:31:58 Adam That's a tough sell. That really is.

1:32:01 Caller The main concern is the children. I'm a single father, and I would just be dead.

1:32:05 Diane Farr Wait a minute. That's her nieces and nephews by the story.

1:32:08 Caller Right. Right. It's her sister's kids.

1:32:12 Adam All right, so now...

1:32:13 Diane Farr You have a shot in hell telling this to the sister. I'm sorry?

1:32:16 Drew Oh, Brian.

1:32:17 Adam Oh, boy.

1:32:18 Drew I mean, she's got something up with your girlfriend, obviously.

1:32:21 Caller Well, Brian, what are the psychological reasons in doing something like that?

1:32:25 Drew I don't know that there are specific patterns that we can call upon except that she's deviant, she has poor judgment, she has poor boundaries, and we would expect, our expectation would be that something really substantially traumatic happened to her growing up.

1:32:45 Adam And how does she do it, by the way? Does she have to get down on the floor like a mechanic going under a car?

1:32:51 Diane Farr What kind of dog?

1:32:51 Caller Actually, the dog was laying on the couch and she was sitting on the floor.

1:32:56 Diane Farr What kind of dog?

1:32:56 Adam If you're telling them, is the dog drinking a beer?

1:32:59 Caller No, the dog is drinking a beer.

1:33:01 Diane Farr Drew almost choked to death on his popcorn.

1:33:03 Drew Are you sure that's what she was doing?

1:33:05 Caller You know what? I was absolutely positive and I was kind of wishing it wasn't what I had seen, but unfortunately it was.

1:33:12 Adam Oh, baby. Maybe the dog got bit by a snake or something and she was removing the venom.

1:33:19 Caller I mean, I don't know.

1:33:20 Adam It just sounds bizarre. It sounds beyond bizarre.

1:33:23 Caller If this were to happen in any other place, other than a home with children, I would have confronted her on it and it would have been somewhat of an issue that I could get over.

1:33:32 Drew Yeah.

1:33:33 Caller When I was seeing that the kids were in the house and she knows my view on kids and it just devastated me.

1:33:41 Drew I think, you know.

1:33:43 Diane Farr Wait, but what is your actual question?

1:33:45 Drew I would certainly keep her away from my kids.

1:33:47 Caller That's for sure. I got a two-point question.

1:33:48 Adam But not away from your dog, Drew. Keep the dog busy.

1:33:51 Caller My two-point question is, should I say something to the kid's parents, which is her sister? And Drew already answered the first part would be the psychological behavior or the reasoning behind it.

1:34:03 Drew Yeah. And I think you've got to... I think you should tell her you saw what went on and that you think she needs help and that you're contemplating telling the sister if she doesn't do something.

1:34:14 Diane Farr Because in reality, there is no chance that the sister is...

1:34:19 Drew The sister is not going to believe you.

1:34:20 Diane Farr She's not going to believe you at all.

1:34:22 Adam Yeah. But let me float this one, guys. It's not a theory. I just broke away. No. The sister knows that this girl has had some problems, has some problems and may be aware of other run-ins of this nature. Not necessarily with the dog, but this may not surprise her. Do you know what I'm talking about? We all have siblings and we know what was beyond them or not. And she may very well have suspected something or have some feelings on it herself.

1:34:58 Diane Farr Yeah, but would she let her be babysitting her kids then if she thought this way?

1:35:02 Drew Well, they all both came from the same family.

1:35:03 Adam Well, they all come from that family, I think what kind of mama she is. I mean, she came from the family that produced this oral deviant.

1:35:11 Caller So would you suggest that I confront the family or her first?

1:35:14 Adam Now, Brian, here's what I... You talk to her and here's the way you do it. Don't get into an argument with her because then it's going to be no, I didn't, yes, you did. Just say listen, I know what you did and I know there's a reason why you did it and you must have suffered something horrible and let's just talk about it. I just want to know.

1:35:36 Drew I would go further and say, hey, you've got to do something about it or I have to do something about it.

1:35:40 Adam Right, but see if you can coax it out of her in a loving way first before you just get into this sort of battle of wills and also jeez, you've got to ask yourself what's up with you, Brian. I mean you hooked up with this chick and had no clue.

1:35:54 Drew Right.

1:35:55 Adam Same guy like Drew's pilot, by the way, everybody. So what do we have? We have the heroin addict and the guy who lines himself with the oral queen.

1:36:09 Drew My constituency, what are you talking about?

1:36:11 Adam Okay. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back to ramp up and ramp down. All righty. Well, that's it for the Fabulous Loveline. Thank you, Diane Farr. God damn it.

1:36:43 Caller Adam, you can't get the...

1:36:44 Diane Farr Thank you, Adam Corolla.

1:36:46 Adam Yeah, I got a serious thing going here with the headphones and the mic. I'm just going to put the thing down.

1:36:51 Drew I know you're a big star now, and you're coming back here for a couple of days and then leaving again. It's all right. I know your commitments are.

1:36:57 Adam Well, it's not like I want to go. They need me to meet the Super Bowl.

1:37:00 Caller Right, right.

1:37:03 Diane Farr You victim, yeah.

1:37:04 Adam All right. Look for Diane on the Drew Carey Show coming up for the next couple of months. Thanks, Diane.

1:37:10 Diane Farr Thanks, babe.

1:37:11 Adam We'll see you soon, and Drew, we'll see you tomorrow night. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:24 Caller The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. They're the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkin Zingal. Now, please listen to this station longer.

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Monday, January 25, 1999