Episode 1000754887870

2:26 Voiceover Adam's occasional humor and Drew's plethora of knowledge unleashed in 40 seconds. The world's dumbest callers can be heard coast to coast in 30 seconds. And life gets just a little bit better in only 20 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

3:09 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

3:17 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

3:19 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

3:23 Voiceover Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guests are Mandy and Sandy, the Bentley Twins. Yeah, did a double one there. Drew has triplets himself and he hopes one day that they can do a spread and playboy.

3:50 Guest Do them are male.

3:53 Adam Oh, yeah. Go play girl. Because all the girls love to look at play girl. No guys ever look at that magazine. They are here tonight to promote their website. Amongst other things, www.bentleytwins.com and.net. I got to tell you, we were talking, my producer, I say producer, but what do we call the person on this show?

4:22 Guest Doris or Danielle?

4:23 Adam Whoever books the show.

4:24 Guest Doris.

4:25 Adam I was talking about booking somebody from playboy down the road who does their new court show and sex court show. I don't know, the title escapes me right now, but that's what I thought we were doing tonight, and then I walked in the front door, disheveled, tired, late and disgruntled as I normally do, and there was Hugh Hefner sitting on the sofa, snuggled nicely between Mandy and Sandy, and I gave my usual Hitler-esque wave.

4:52 Guest And grunt.

4:53 Adam I don't even wave. I don't even move my hand anymore. I just give a sort of hile, and I was heading for the bathroom where I do my best thinking, and then I thought, wait a minute, that's Hugh Hefner on the sofa. I better stop. So I stopped and said hi, and girls, lean forward and speak into those microphones and tell us what we can find on this website and anything else I'm leaving out.

5:13 Drew Well, we did the cover and the pictorial in the May issue coming to new stands April 7th. It's a 10-page spread. And the website it has is also there's a Playboy website and then we have our own website. And it just has pictures of us and kind of like bio stuff and like auction and stuff like that.

5:34 Adam And you know, I'm glad that you guys are doing it in the May issue because my birthday is in May. And for some reason, and I don't know if you ever did this as a kid, Drew, or as a teenager, but when you got hold of Playboys and did battle over why your month was a better looking month, I've heard this before.

5:53 Drew That's our birthday month too though.

5:54 May what?

5:55 Adam May 27th.

5:57 Drew 18th.

5:57 Adam Oh, I'm 18th. I'm 18th. The point is, is I like when teenage guys get into those sort of feudal battles. Oh yeah, May's a lot hotter than July, you idiot. Look at her. She's a dog. Well, this is 1963. Back in the day, right? The point is, is I'm glad to have you guys in here. And now, are you actually dating Hugh Hefner, or are you escorting Hugh Hefner? Or does it make, is there a difference?

6:27 Drew Dating.

6:28 Adam You're dating?

6:28 Drew Yeah, we're all best friends.

6:30 Adam Best friends? Yeah, we're all best friends. But is there, is there, has it been consummated?

6:35 Drew You behave.

6:36 Adam Home.

6:37 Drew There's two of us, we'll come over there.

6:38 Adam Oh, that's, I'm praying.

6:39 And we brought you security.

6:40 Adam Drew, if they come over here, you leave, and you put a goddamn chair in front of the door.

6:44 That's why he's sitting on our side.

6:45 Adam Shut the light, okay? And then you go into the Lycus' office and do the rest of the show from an ISDN line, or phone it in, call the hotline number. So now, how did, wow, I wish I could date one person. You know what I mean? Like, Hugh gets twins, and the thing that's cool about Hugh is he had a little, he has quite a resurgence. I mean, he was, there was always Hugh, well, actually, Hugh's life would be Hugh the Married Man, and then there was Hugh the Bachelor, which was, I don't know, 30 years after he got divorced and all those great swinging parties and everything, and then Hugh settles down again, and it's like, well, that's it. He's in. He's got a beautiful young wife, he's got a couple of kids now, that's it, and then just when you think you got Hugh figured out, pow, the penis comes out of the pajamas again, and he's back. And I think he's been an inspiration to many a man. What do you think, Drew, you want to comment on that? He looks in great shape, he looks like he could handle a couple of twins.

7:51 Drew He looks fabulous. He's getting ready to turn 74 on April 9th.

7:55 Adam Isn't it great being a guy? Isn't it great? You know what I mean? You just build yourself a small empire, and look, pow! Here's what you get, but I gotta kiss Hugh's ass because on The Man Show we've been trying to do something with Playboy. I have this ingenious bit to do with Playboy. But Playboy has a little problem about doing things that involve a bathroom setting.

8:20 Drew Oh, I wonder why?

8:21 Adam Well, I mean, come on. I'm gonna talk to Hugh off the air about this, but on the air, and I'm looking at him through the glass there. I need everyone to bear with me, but Hugh, here's what I want to say. Many, many a man reads a Playboy on the can. You should write that down. And that has nothing to do with the content of the magazine. It's a compliment. When a man is on the toilet, he has a limited amount of time in there. He brings his best reading material in the can.

8:53 Guest That's really his man time, his private time.

8:56 Adam Yes. This is when a man convenes with his genitalia and the bowl. And if you're an atheist, this is your cathedral, the commode. And he sits there, and he has some of the greatest thinking, I'm convinced, is done when a man has his pants around his ankles that way, and is in a sort of, almost a zen-like state. You know what I mean? I mean, you get a certain focus. There's no distractions. There's no phones ringing or televisions going around. You're in the toilet. And I had this great idea. Now listen to this, Drew. I'm going to tell the joke, and I know it's a good one. I was looking, remember when we had Caprice on the show a couple weeks back? Yeah. And I had this great idea where I'm sitting on the toilet, and I'm looking at the Playboy Magazine, and I see Caprice in there, and I'm falling in love, and I'm talking to Caprice, and lo and behold, Caprice starts talking to me off the page. This is all done in post, obviously. And I say, Caprice, wow, I can't believe you're talking to me. And she says, oh man, you are hot. That Jimmy Kimmel, he's a steaming turd, but you, you are hot, Adam. And I say, oh man, we got to get together. And Caprice says, when? And I say, how about now? And she says, done. And there's a big poof of smoke, and there's Caprice in the bathroom with me. Then Caprice takes a couple of beats, waves her hand, gets disgusted, can't believe what's going on in there, and walks out the door, slams it behind her, and storms down the hall. And we get the shot from up above, the crane shot, where I'm on the toilet yelling, no! Actually, hold on. No! Caprice, come back! And, you know, I'm lighting a match.

10:40 Guest You really created another defining moment where the difference between the male and the female could not be more clear. These young ladies are looking at you like you're some sort of alien from, just got landed here from outer space. I actually think it's kind of funny.

10:53 Adam Of course it's funny!

10:54 Guest But you've really defined that difference.

10:57 Adam My dream woman has come to me and I've ruined the bathroom, so she's stormed up.

11:01 Guest And men think that's funny.

11:02 Adam You guys are allowed to laugh into the mics if you like.

11:05 Guest Women actually think that's disgusting, you see.

11:07 Adam All right.

11:07 They're actually disgusted.

11:08 Adam Hugh, what I'm saying is, is this is a magazine for men. I do the man show. I know your core audience. I have my thumb squarely on the pulse of your readership. And we can really move some product.

11:21 Guest Let's take some calls.

11:22 Adam All right. I can see this is going to take more more ass kissing in person. But we'll get to the phones and try being nice. Maybe we'll have we'll plug. Oh, Drew, did you hear that? She said you weren't being nice. Rachel.

11:36 Yes.

11:36 Guest 22.

11:37 Adam You're 22. What's up?

11:38 Caller Yeah. OK. This might be a stupid question, but I just got out of a two year relationship with my fiancé, and during this time I had a group of guy friends that were like in between ten and twelve people. And we were really close, but now that I've broken up with my boyfriend, all that they can ever say to me is that they want to have sex with me. And half of them have girlfriends, and they know where I stand on that kind of thing, but that's all that they constantly bring up. That's all that they constantly try to get from me.

12:04 Guest Can you help me understand exactly the context in which that comes up? Give me an example of where one of these guys brought this up.

12:09 Caller Oh, jeez, just Thursday, I was hanging out at their house, they were watching wrestling, and...

12:15 Guest Okay, strike one. Go ahead. Yeah.

12:18 Caller Like WWF.

12:19 Guest Yeah, okay, okay.

12:20 Caller And they love that show, and I was sitting in between two of them, and one on one side was trying to caress my hand, the other one on the other side was trying to put a hand on my thigh, and pretty soon I'm just like, I stood up, and then I gave them each hug, goodbye, and each of them whispered in my ear that they want to have sex with me, except they said it different words.

12:37 Guest These guys are supposed to be friends.

12:39 Caller Yeah, they have been like my good friends for a long, long time, and everything.

12:43 Guest These guys, do you want to ask what their careers are?

12:44 Adam Oh, I don't care. They're sitting home watching wrestling. Hey Rachel, so don't hang out with them.

12:49 Caller Well, I'm just wondering if it's my part, like if there's something with me, like.

12:52 Adam Yes.

12:53 Guest Yeah, you chose to hang out with these guys.

12:54 Adam No, it's your boobs.

12:56 Guest No, but it's something to do, but it's that you chose to hang out with guys that would treat you like this.

13:00 Caller Okay.

13:00 Guest Right?

13:00 Caller It's like, I'll like, that's all I can find. It's like.

13:03 Adam Listen, you got to hang around with gay guys. I'm serious. They'll help you dress. They'll pick up the pieces when a man breaks your heart. Mandy, am I right?

13:13 Drew No, I mean, I think you guys are being a little hard on her. Don't make her take the brunt of it.

13:17 Adam Well, we're just telling these guys are idiots. Don't hang out with them.

13:19 Guest It's the only thing she can change.

13:21 Drew Well, the question I would have liked to have asked her is, is she the only female in the room?

13:24 Adam All right. There you go.

13:25 Guest Another, another.

13:26 Drew I mean, if that is the case.

13:27 Guest Another bad choice.

13:27 Drew You kind of know you're putting yourself in a precarious position if you are the only female in the room.

13:31 Guest Rachel?

13:32 Caller Yes?

13:33 Guest Were you by yourself with these guys?

13:34 Caller Yeah, because I didn't think that they would try anything.

13:37 Adam All right. Well, yeah, they're friends. Why can't they be alone?

13:39 Drew But, I mean, if they've been hitting on her before, don't put yourself in a room with a bunch of guys watching wrestling, you know, where they're rubbing around with each other and then expect them not to hit at you.

13:47 Caller Never, like, came on to me like that.

13:49 Adam It's like, okay.

13:49 Drew Well, just be very open with your feelings and let them know right now that, you know, you just wanted to basically just be a friend relationship. That it's not going to go any further than that. And if they really want to be friends with you, they'll stick it out. If they don't, you don't need a friend like that.

13:59 Guest B boundaries, boundaries. But, but what happened? How did you relationship man? Just quickly.

14:04 Caller My relationship with my boyfriend?

14:05 Guest Yeah, your fiance.

14:07 Caller Yeah, he.

14:08 Guest Cheated.

14:09 Caller He, I don't know. One day he just called me up and he said that he loved me. Then 12 hours later he said that he didn't love me anymore and he didn't want to be in the relationship.

14:18 Guest Yeah, because he loves somebody else.

14:19 Adam All right. Well, true. Why do you got to twist a knife?

14:21 Guest Because that's what guys do.

14:22 Adam All right.

14:23 Guest That's what guys do.

14:24 Adam Men are evil. Everyone but me, Drew and Hugh.

14:26 Caller He's not, he doesn't have anybody else. He's gone for six months now in the military.

14:31 Adam Okay. Hey, Rachel, you just got to find yourself some decent guys, gay guys. I'm telling you. Listen, I run into this all the time, especially if you're an attractive young woman. Most of those guys you think are your friends, are your friends, but they would also like to nail you.

14:48 Guest All of them. Not all of them.

14:50 Adam No, no, no.

14:51 Guest Either, but we have a point.

14:52 Adam Please, Drew, I'm on a roll here, damn it.

14:54 Guest All right, go.

14:54 Adam Thank you. The girls and I have found some common ground. You're going to louse it up. Now, quiet down. Shut Drew's mic off. I've heard just about enough of him, and not only for tonight, for the rest of the week. You don't have to come in tomorrow night. Guys, when they have attractive girlfriends, and I hear this all the time, friends, I should say, who are attractive, I hear this all the time, the women are surprised that after they break up with their boyfriend or one time when they agree to go camping, or they're out drinking, or they get into a jacuzzi, the guy makes a move, they are shocked by it. And let me tell you, you should not be shocked. This is what guys are interested in. And the fact that they're friends with you is neither here nor there.

15:37 Guest The point you made before, which I think is reasonably accurate, which is that somebody hangs out in the beginning to establish that friendship because of an attraction.

15:44 Adam How did you guys meet? How did you get together? He was probably interested in you. You had a boyfriend or you weren't interested in him, so he went for the long term plan. He decided to stick it out and you know what? It works sometimes. I mean, that's why guys do it. Don't be surprised and don't think they don't like you as a friend either. You women, you do like one camp or the other, we can straddle the fence. We can like you and boink you.

16:10 Guest Let's go on, Shelly. Shelly?

16:13 Guest Yeah. How do I know if I'm coming?

16:16 Adam I'll tell you.

16:17 Guest If you're asking, you probably aren't.

16:19 Guest Really?

16:19 Guest Yeah.

16:20 That's not cool.

16:22 Adam Yeah. Why? You have a boyfriend?

16:24 Guest Well, yeah. I'm seeing this guy and we were messing around the other night and it seemed as if he kind of hit the spot. And he was asking me, are you coming? Are you coming? And I was like, well, I guess. I don't know.

16:40 Drew She's probably thinking about it too much, a lot of it's mental.

16:42 Guest Really?

16:43 Guest Well, it's mental in terms of relaxing, but it's also mental in terms of connecting with the other person. And if you're not real involved with him, if it is not a, it's an intimate place that you have to know how to find. And if you're not there in that relationship, it's going to be difficult for you to function.

16:58 Adam And listen, that is Sex 101. You do not yell, are you coming in the middle of someone trying to sort of focus there.

17:07 Guest So intimacy plays a pretty key part?

17:09 Guest For women, yeah, more than men, very much so.

17:11 Adam Are you kidding? A ton? Yeah, guys don't need it all. I'm telling you, if I hooked a vacuum device up to my penis, I could get something off during a funeral. Even a family member or more importantly a pet.

17:26 Drew Is this personal experience?

17:28 Adam I haven't tried it yet. My grandfather was cremated, we didn't have a funeral, but as soon as someone else in the family goes, I am going to give it a shot, Drew. I believe it would be good radio.

17:39 Guest I'm proud of you.

17:40 Adam All right, Shelly, you didn't have an orgasm. Crap. That's all right, you're 20. You're 20. Listen, let me talk to the twins about this. I know women change quite a bit from 18, 17, 16, to mid-20s, to later 20s, to early 30s. I don't know how old you guys are. 21. How are you? It's only going to get better. It really is. I haven't met a woman and I'm 35, and I have a lot of female friends I've had open discussions with, I've known for many years. A lot of them, quite frankly, weren't that interested in sex at 17, 18, 19.

18:18 Caller They had it.

18:19 Adam They liked their boyfriends. They liked being intimate with their boyfriends. They liked their boyfriend being intimate with them. But if you just sort of distilled it down to the actual sex, that was all right. Then at 21, 22, it got a little better. 25, 26, better. Later 20s, even better. By the time they got into their mid-30s, look out. That was it. They'd hop on anything. And their views changed a little bit too. They're like, you know, if they were single, some guy just want to get busy, that was all right. I mean, they sort of became more realistic. They became more like what men think.

18:56 Guest More realistic about what men.

18:57 Adam Well, yes, they realized they hate all men. They're all evil. And you might as well just use them.

19:04 Guest There you go.

19:05 Adam But you guys are doing okay at 21, right? I mean, you enjoy sex? We're fine. Okay. Just checking.

19:12 Guest He's being nice to you. I can tell. Be careful. He won't hurt you.

19:14 Adam This is nice.

19:15 Guest Yes.

19:17 Guest And he's being nice.

19:17 Adam Amy?

19:18 Yeah?

19:19 Adam You're 16.

19:20 Caller Okay.

19:21 Adam What's up?

19:22 Caller Nothing happened. I just wanted to talk to you.

19:25 Adam To me?

19:25 Guest Yeah.

19:26 Adam All right.

19:27 Guest I think you are so cute.

19:29 Adam You guys hear that?

19:30 Guest His voice is so sexy.

19:32 Adam That's right. His voice? My nasally drone. It's an aphrodisiac for retarded women.

19:38 Guest You are like my idol.

19:39 Adam Thank you.

19:40 Guest You are welcome.

19:41 Adam Thank you.

19:42 Guest I have been listening to you forever. And like I have been calling for like the past two months. I have never gone to talk to you.

19:49 Adam Well, here we are.

19:51 Guest Oh my gosh.

19:52 Adam What city do you live in?

19:53 Guest Los Angeles.

19:54 Adam All right. Well, what part of LA do you live in?

19:59 Guest I live in around like Chevy Hills.

20:01 Adam Oh, yes. That's nice. It's an upscale neighborhood. I could move out there.

20:05 Guest Amy, anything else?

20:07 Guest No.

20:09 Adam Would your folks object if a older hairy gent moved in with you?

20:14 Guest Maybe.

20:14 Adam Oh, okay.

20:15 Guest Okay.

20:16 Adam All right. Well, thanks, Amy.

20:17 Guest Sure.

20:18 Adam When did your dad rape you? Oh, please. All right, Amy.

20:21 Guest Bye.

20:21 Adam Thank you for the praise. Call back tomorrow night and every night.

20:24 Guest Bye.

20:24 Adam All right. Let's see here. Carl. Carl? Carl, you're 21. You're on with Mending Sandy.

20:35 Caller Hey, how's it going?

20:35 Adam They'd be the Bentley Twins.

20:37 Caller Hey.

20:37 Adam A little Playboy pictorial coming out this May, and you can also find them on www.bentleytwins.com and.net. You hear that, Hugh? That's a lot of plug-in going on. He's just going to say that. National radio show. All right, Carl. What's up?

20:52 Guest Hey, I'm uncircumcised. I'm probably one of the few men in the world that are uncircumcised.

20:57 Guest Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. In fact, in the world, most men are uncircumcised.

21:02 Guest Oh, really?

21:03 Guest Yeah. In this country, this is the only industrial country in the world where men get circumcised routinely. And even here, it's only around, somewhere around 20% or not.

21:12 Adam All right. Wait a minute. Now. I mean, if you're born now.

21:15 Guest Yeah.

21:15 Adam Yeah, but his penis is 21 years old. My penis is 14. I know I'm 35, but I think my penis was born about 14 years ago. 14 years ago.

21:24 Guest It's gonna grow another 7 years.

21:25 Adam I'm thinking there's still some root in there. You know what I mean? It's gotta make a move.

21:32 Guest All right. My question is, I got a couple of questions actually. One, if I had it, if I was got circumcised now.

21:38 Guest Yeah.

21:38 Guest Would it be painful?

21:39 Guest Yo, yeah.

21:40 Guest It would be?

21:41 Guest Yeah.

21:42 Guest Cause problems later.

21:42 Adam Why? Can they give them a general?

21:44 Guest Yeah, yeah, but it's a painful, as compared to had it been done after birth, it's a much more painful issue.

21:49 Guest Okay.

21:50 Guest But it's commonly done. It's nothing you should shrink away from in horror. It's not a big deal.

21:54 Adam Speaking of shrinking away, don't they have to take some medication to stop it from becoming erect?

22:01 Guest For a while afterwards, you know, we talked about that.

22:02 Guest I couldn't handle that very long.

22:04 Guest But will it, the sperm count, does it lower your sperm count if you're uncircumcised?

22:09 Guest No. What do you, Carl, what's up with you? Carl, what do you do for a living?

22:13 Guest Excuse me?

22:14 Guest You're not, you've got too much time on your hands.

22:16 Guest I have a lot of time on my hands.

22:17 Guest Yeah, what are you doing for a living?

22:19 Guest I am a security guard. I am at work right now.

22:21 Adam Oh, my God.

22:22 Guest Yeah.

22:23 Adam Where are you calling from?

22:25 Guest Cincinnati, Ohio.

22:25 Adam Wow.

22:26 Guest One thing we know about guys is when they are totally preoccupied about their size and in...

22:30 Guest Well, I mean, does it keep it from getting fully erect?

22:33 Guest It doesn't do anything. It doesn't do anything.

22:36 Adam Carl.

22:37 Guest Yes.

22:38 Adam You went to high school, right?

22:39 Yeah, I graduated.

22:40 Adam You took health class?

22:41 Guest Yeah.

22:42 Adam All right. I'd like you to go back to your old school and kick your health teacher in the nuts for me, would you?

22:46 Guest Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

22:48 Adam Yeah, because he failed you.

22:49 Guest But the point is-

22:50 Adam Something fierce. He thinks his foreskin is going to lower his sperm count, he won't be able to get an erection, he's going to shorten his penis.

22:55 Guest One thing we know about men that are worried about their fallacies is that it's really a concern about their self-esteem and your worth as a person. And you need to get busy working on your career and your life and developing interests and things that make you feel good about yourself and-

23:07 Adam That's right.

23:07 Guest Spill your time with more productive preoccupation.

23:10 Adam Yeah, you girls are only so interested in the penis size, am I right? Right? Right?

23:15 Drew That has a lot more to do with that. It's the person.

23:17 Adam That's right. I mean, look, it's not the fact that the guy has a small or unusual penis that is going to be the deal breaker, it's the fact that he's a security guard. I mean, that's how women work. Whereas with guys, we don't care what women do, especially if they're attractive, we're in. It's like, what do you do? Axe murder. Great. Fantastic.

23:38 Guest How interesting.

23:40 Adam What are your hours? That's great. And you have a 401k over there? No.

23:44 Okay.

23:45 Adam Can we make out? That's why it is occupation. That's why I always, Drew and I always laughed at, you know, male strippers, strippers always come out as something. An occupation. The guy's a cop, he's a fireman, he's a telephone repair guy. Meanwhile, he's wearing cutoffs, his nuts are hanging out of the side of his shorts, his shirt's undone to hear his body shaved and stuff. But for that brief second, well, he's come to fix the phone at the strip club and whoa, his shirt's come off, he's a fireman, it must be a fire marshal coming in here, it must be too many women packed into this room. Whoa, look at that, look at that hose. And it's so funny that part of the turn on is that the guy's actually employed. Women, males watch female strippers, they're dressed as strippers. They don't have an occupation.

24:34 Guest Yeah, they do.

24:35 Adam Stripper. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. It's like, hey, why are you coming out with your clothes on? Couldn't you lean back there? The less the better. Right. I mean, we're not interested in that. Once in a while, they'll pull out the nurse thing. And that's all right. Guys can go for the nurse. Well, I'll tell you what, I was just looking at a porn movie cover tonight, Drew, with the whole naughty nurses type of thing. And I thought, what really goes on in a hospital and what the porn industry has done with it are two totally different things. Yes. I mean, I don't know why somebody picked the hospital as the place. You know, with the naughty nurses. I'm going to give you a sponge bath and candy strippers. There's been a million movies, a million skin flicks made about the hospital setting. But Drew, you've been in a hospital. Does any of that go on?

25:21 Guest No. But people have all kinds of issues about vulnerability and powerlessness, and that's where that stuff gets acted out.

25:27 Adam Nice. All right. Mandy and Sandy are our guests tonight. They're the Bentley Twins. They got themselves a website, www.bentleytwins.com and.net. You can find them coming up in the May as my birthday issue. And I get twins in my issue. So you know that makes me better than all the other guys that were born. Not everybody, Adam.

25:48 Guest Not anybody.

25:49 Adam Not in the other guys that were born in May, but just all the other guys who were born in the other months.

25:53 Guest All right.

25:54 Adam All right. Other than May.

25:56 Guest Oh, by the way, we maybe talked to you about 20 questions. Since I did 20 questions and you didn't.

26:01 Adam Oh, that's right. I was outraged. Playboy interviewed, Drew did 20 questions with Dr. Drew. It was a couple of years ago now and the guy threw me two. He threw me two and a half questions. Want to know how tall I was and why I wasn't off the air, I think was his two questions.

26:21 Drew They're probably afraid of your answer.

26:22 Adam No. His third one was, who did you blow to get the gig? I think that was the third one. I was outraged about that.

26:28 Guest Oh, yeah.

26:29 Adam But ever since my career surpassed yours, Drew, I haven't thought about it much. I got to be honest with you. I'm a very big man. All right. We're going to take ourselves a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Natalie. She's 16. She wants to know how to know if you got a yeast infection. Come on, Drew, give me something to work with here. All right. Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah, I see a good one on there. You see it?

26:52 Guest After this.

26:52 Adam Yeah.

26:58 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

27:27 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. The Bentley Twins are a guest tonight. Mandy and Sandy are both in here. Hugh Hefner just swung by to explain to the girls why farting was funny. I'm surprised he hadn't given you that speech months ago. It's always one of the first speeches I give to my lady friends.

27:52 Drew Well, that's what moved us over.

27:54 Guest It's wining them over to you, Adam.

27:56 Adam I think now that Hugh gave the big brown light, the big green light for the fart humor, now I think the girls realize it's okay. And I'm now fast becoming their hero. Natalie?

28:09 Yeah?

28:10 Adam You're 16?

28:11 Caller Yeah.

28:12 It's like not only like that's not just a question.

28:16 You know, if I have a yeast infection, it was like too long of a question.

28:19 Guest All right, let's go right ahead.

28:21 Yeah.

28:22 Caller Okay.

28:22 Well, I'm discharging. I don't know if it's a yeast infection or an STD.

28:27 Guest Are you sexually active?

28:28 Caller Yeah.

28:29 Just with one person. He's my boyfriend.

28:31 Guest And how, are you regularly active with him?

28:33 Guest Yeah.

28:35 Caller Yeah.

28:35 And I've been discharging a lot. And I don't know, it smells like urine.

28:39 And I don't know, it has this really, really nasty smell.

28:43 Okay. Yikes.

28:44 Guest So at very minimum, we would, I would suggest that you probably have a vaginitis.

28:49 Vaginitis?

28:49 Guest Okay, which is a bacterial overgrowth in the vagina. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an STD, though often it is. And nor does it mean that it's something that can have consequences, not getting to the higher areas of the genital tract. In fact, the tubes put you at risk for cervical cancer, that sort of thing. It's probably not one of those kinds of infections. But it is something that should be treated.

29:09 Caller Should I go to the doctors or just get like...

29:11 Guest Yeah, the smell suggests it's probably not yeast. That it's probably something else. Gardnarella, Trichomonas.

29:17 Adam I don't mean to cut you off, Natalie, but Drew, you mean I gotta masturbate later?

29:22 Guest Later? Oh, you don't mean to talk about Trichomonas anymore?

29:24 Adam Yeah, the smell, the yeast, the discharge, it's all, you know, ching ching, 30 seconds here, 45 seconds there, it all adds up.

29:32 Guest I see.

29:33 Adam I'm already up to four minutes now with all this talk. You want to keep going? Try to get it to five?

29:37 Guest One of the things you can try, Natalie, is an over-the-counter yeast medicine if you want to get started with that, but then get into your gynecologist or regular doctor and get this thing properly treated, okay?

29:45 Guest Thanks.

29:45 Adam All righty, we'll speak to Jason. Jason?

29:50 Guest Hi.

29:51 Adam You're 18, what's up?

29:52 Guest I have a question for Dr. Drew.

29:54 Caller I was wondering what the dangers of nitrous were.

29:57 Guest Nitrous oxide? First of all, it's an anesthetic. For me, if somebody's going to be delivering general anesthesia, I'd want to have an anesthesiologist around, frankly, myself.

30:07 Adam Yeah, you got bodies who can handle that.

30:08 Guest So, there are cardiac rhythm disturbances, sudden death, that kind of thing. People fall down oftentimes and smash themselves up with it. And if you use it regularly, I've seen two. One case where a guy got psychotic, where he started thinking people were after him, and he developed a psychosis. And the other, a more characteristic syndrome, is a ascending polyneuropathy, where you lose motor function starting in your feet, and then it climbs up all the way to your neck, end up on a ventilator.

30:33 Adam But eventually, it goes through your neck, out your head, and hops to the next guy, right, Drew? And you're fine? Isn't that how that works?

30:39 Guest So it's a drug of abuse, not so much of addiction, though.

30:42 Adam Yeah, nobody gets addicted to this.

30:43 Guest People don't get addicted to this drug.

30:45 Adam There's also a characteristic to this drug, which is your teeth hurt. Oh, wait a minute. That's right, I was at the dentist. I was trying to, right? That's right. Jason? Yeah. I've done this myself, you know. Here's the problem.

30:59 Guest In the dentist's chair, though, right?

31:00 Adam Yeah, no, I've done it outside the dentist's chair, too, when I was younger. Jason?

31:05 Guest Yeah.

31:05 Adam Let me tell you a couple of problems. First off, we had a band in here, where a couple of the guys' friends, I think it was Sugar Ray, a couple of the guys' friends.

31:11 Guest Well, by the way, they're playing in a, we're having a special House of Blues with them for this website.

31:16 Adam Whose website?

31:17 Guest Mine.

31:17 Adam No.

31:18 Guest Yes.

31:18 Adam You don't have a website.

31:19 Guest Sugar Ray's.

31:20 Adam But I'll tell you who does have a website, the Bentley Twins, www.bentleytwins.com.

31:25 Drew But it's not up right now.

31:27 Adam It won't be up for another week, right?

31:28 Drew Exactly.

31:29 Adam That's right. I'm going to handcuff myself to the computer. Definitely check that out.

31:32 Guest I want to talk to you real quick.

31:34 Adam Wait. Let me just... Listen, you whore.

31:37 Guest Most important thing.

31:38 Adam You whore.

31:38 Caller I'm getting bloody in here.

31:40 Adam Well, hold on. I'm trying to tell a story here. Drew's got to jump right on in with the plugs. I think it was Sugar Ray, and I think we talked to these guys about this. I think that a couple of their friends were doing nitrous in a cab of a truck, and they just fell asleep kind of thing, which is easy to do because the stuff puts you to sleep, and you leave the nitrous thing running, and you're asleep, and it just kills you.

32:05 Guest Well, that's happened. Also, people have done it while they're swimming. They go to the bottom of the pool. That's it.

32:09 Adam Really?

32:10 Guest Yeah.

32:11 Adam How do you get the nitrous to the bottom?

32:13 Guest What do you mean? There were two guys sitting in inner tubes. This happened in Arcadia here locally. Two guys were doing nitrous in a pool, sitting, they went out, slipped through the tube, went to the bottom. That was it.

32:22 Adam Oh, yeah. That's a bitch. Oh, your folks are embarrassed. That happens. Hey, what happened to Tim? Sucking on the nitrous in the inner tube and, well. Not too safe. Yeah, that's Darwin at his best right there. The other thing is, though, and I've seen this happen, is that people take a big draw off this nitrous. They're standing in some guy's garage because some guy swapped a tank from some sort of, you know, medical facility. Everyone's in the garage doing nitrous. Guy takes a big hit, falls over, whacks his head on a rake.

32:56 Guest Yes, that's common.

32:57 Adam Yeah, I mean, that happens all the time.

32:59 Guest Yep.

32:59 Adam Okay. Now, if you fell over and hit an inner tube, that'd be fine. See? Life's so funny that way. Lisa? Yeah? You're 16?

33:08 Caller Yes.

33:09 Adam What's up?

33:09 Caller I have a problem going through this major moral dilemma right now. I don't know if I should make out with my best guy friend because it was set a while ago, but I don't know. I just, my best friend likes him, and I didn't know that until today, and it's set for tomorrow.

33:26 Guest Did you say he's your best guy friend?

33:28 Yeah.

33:29 Adam You say it's set for tomorrow?

33:31 Caller Yeah. We have a date for tomorrow.

33:33 Adam A make out date?

33:34 Yeah.

33:35 Adam I can get one of those.

33:36 Caller I need practice. I'm trying to get new boyfriends and stuff. I haven't had action in two years.

33:42 Adam Jesus Christ.

33:44 Caller I'm desperate, and he said he would teach me or whatever. So.

33:49 Guest Lisa.

33:50 Adam Hey, Drew, what do you say we meet here early tomorrow night and get a little make out rehearsal in? Come on, buddy. Pencilian Lisa. Yeah, you haven't got an action in two years, but you're 16.

34:02 Caller Yeah, I know.

34:02 Guest But I'm a zygote.

34:04 Adam So yeah, I mean, were you were you having intercourse two years ago? What were you doing?

34:11 Caller I was just making out with people and I liked it and I just haven't gotten any more.

34:14 Adam Right.

34:15 Caller I'm a pretty good girl.

34:16 Adam I'm just.

34:17 Guest Yeah, but this guy's your friend. You want to screw around with that friendship?

34:19 Adam Well, she likes him. This is an excuse. She's rationalizing. Don't you girls think? I mean, obviously she likes the guy.

34:26 Drew He's going to screw up their friendship. Yeah, it's going to mess the friendship up.

34:28 Adam But that's fine. She likes him.

34:29 Drew Well, no. She wants to keep him as a friend. Then you lose your friend. It's not worth it.

34:32 Caller We have this thing and it's.

34:34 Adam Who cares about the friend stuff? First off, you're 16. Drew, are you hanging out with anyone you knew at 16? No. Me neither. They're all idiots. Here's what happens. You move away to college or in my case you stay and they all move away to college and you don't see each other after a while. That's fine. You should have a boyfriend. Forget about the friendship. Maybe he likes you.

34:56 Guest On top of that, her best friend likes the guy.

34:58 Adam All right. What I want Lisa to admit is that she likes the guy.

35:01 Caller I don't like him though.

35:03 Adam Why would you be considering him a candidate to make out with if you weren't interested in him?

35:10 Caller We're using each other. There's like a mutual.

35:11 Adam No, no, no. You don't want to admit it. If you didn't like him, you wouldn't make out with him.

35:16 Caller I think he's attractive.

35:18 Adam Now we're getting somewhere.

35:20 Drew There's lots of attractive guys out there. I always go with the girlfriend's rule. You know, friends always. Guys, there's, you know.

35:25 Caller For some reason, I just can't seem to snag a guy. Like, for some reason, my...

35:29 Adam Okay, okay. Lisa, would you just admit to me that you have some interests in this guy?

35:34 Caller I find him attractive. That's it, though.

35:36 Adam All right. Well, you find him physically attractive and you like him as a person because you guys are friends. Yeah. All right. And I don't think you want to admit you have feelings for anybody, and that's what's made you take this to your hiatus. There's something going on with you and guys. You don't want to get close to guys. Where's your dad?

35:53 Caller My dad is great. I seriously, there's nothing wrong with him. I love him so much.

35:59 Adam Really? When is he paroled?

36:01 Guest Where does he live?

36:02 Caller He lives in my house. We have a happy family. It might surprise you, but there are such things. All right.

36:06 Adam Why are you so bitter?

36:08 Caller I'm not bitter.

36:09 Adam Well, what's up? Why are you frightened of men? Why were you making out like some gypsy girl at 14, and now you're 16. It's been two years, and you want to use a guy who's like a guinea pig to make out with. You can get your tongue back in kissin shape.

36:25 Caller Very inexperienced.

36:27 Adam No, no. Listen, Drew. Oh, hold on a second. Let me yell at my partner. Sorry you guys have to be here for this. But Drew, I don't know where your head's at. I think it's spinning off in some sort of www.land. This is a 16-year-old girl, says this as a guy. She likes him as a friend. She's attracted to him. She wants to make out with him just so she could get some practice making out. Give me a break. Would you jump in here?

36:52 Guest No, I just get desperate from her. She's in a panic that she's not going to be able to be with a guy. She's really not into this guy, but he is the nearest thing.

36:59 Adam Really not into a guy she wants to make out with?

37:02 I think she's trying too hard.

37:03 Guest She's trying too hard. She's panicked. She's absolutely panicked.

37:05 Adam I refuse to believe this. Lisa?

37:08 Guest Yeah.

37:08 Adam Okay.

37:09 Caller Drew's right.

37:10 Adam Why? What if you guys started making out and you enjoyed it? Then what?

37:17 Caller I don't know. I don't know. I kind of talked to him about that. We like talked to each other every night. And he just kind of was like, well, like, you can come over to your house Thursday and Friday.

37:28 Adam But don't you think there's a strong possibility that you two may start making out and that it may lead to something else that you may No.

37:36 Caller No. No. Not at all. How about this?

37:38 Drew Is it worth it to you to get practice to ruin your friendship with the girlfriend and to kind of make a little bit of weirdness between you and the guy? I don't think so.

37:46 Caller She doesn't know anything about the whole session thing and I just found out about it today and totally threw me for a loop. I just keep...

37:53 Adam Something's up with Lisa.

37:54 Guest Do you at least have any eating problems?

37:56 Caller No.

37:56 Guest No, you don't have any disorder or anything like that?

37:58 Caller I'm a pretty normal person.

37:59 Guest Okay. All right.

38:00 Adam All right.

38:00 Guest All right, then that's it.

38:01 Adam No. I don't believe it. All right, Lisa. I don't believe you. I think you like him.

38:06 Guest You don't believe me.

38:07 Adam I don't think you want to admit that you have feelings for him because it scares you. Yes. And it's...

38:12 Guest I believe you, Lisa.

38:13 Adam No, she's scared of him just like she was scared for the last two years and not getting near any guys. Making out hot and heavy at 14 takes a two-year absence. She's scared of guys.

38:22 Drew Yeah, 15 and 14. What is that, 14? Yeah, what is making out at 14? That's just a bunch of confusion anyways. You don't think like that. You don't think of getting some at 14. I liked Barbies at 14. No.

38:31 Adam You made out with Barbies?

38:32 Drew I didn't like boys until we were like... No, we liked Barbies. Yeah, we didn't like boys until we were like seniors in high school.

38:37 Adam Really?

38:38 Drew They were gross. They talked about farting and stuff. They scared us.

38:41 Adam Oh, yeah. I hate those guys. So mature. Drew, where's my ask-out? Smoking Jacket. You know, Hugh will be glad to know that I do the show quite often in pajamas. Drew, please back me up on this.

38:55 Guest Oh, you're quite off. In fact, what's up with you?

38:58 Adam Well, because I didn't go home tonight because I was working all day and I came straight out here. But not the silk pajamas that Hugh's been known to don.

39:07 Guest Sort of like the street pajamas.

39:08 Adam Sweatpants, erection, gravy stain. Picture those kind of pajamas. Yes, they're working man's PJs. Larry?

39:16 Adam You're seventeen?

39:21 Drew Actually, we met him at the Garden of Eden one night when we were out visiting friends here in Los Angeles because I live in Las Vegas and Mandy was living in Chicago at the time. And we were dancing together and he sent over Heather Kozar, Playmate of the Year, to ask if we would come and have a drink. And at first we said no. We were kind of just really interested in having a good time.

39:39 Just kind of, you know, doing our own thing.

39:42 Drew And he was very persistent and he asked a second time. And we figured, well, you know, why the hell not? It's a good story to tell your friends. So we decided to go over and have a drink with him. We sat down and it was just a little intimidating and he was a little aggressive. So but he was a perfect gentleman.

39:57 Adam Well, wait a minute, was he aggressive or was he a perfect gentleman?

40:00 Drew He invited us back to have a drink at the mansion. And I'm sure it was purely innocent, but being from the Midwest and not really being into that whole scene, we just gracefully declined. And I excused myself to use the ladies room and tried to leave me there. And she said, not without me. I said, you are not leaving me. So we didn't lie. We just went to a different ladies room. Right. We found the front door on the way out to the bathroom.

40:20 Adam Well, you showed him.

40:22 Drew No. It wasn't even like that. It wasn't like that.

40:25 Adam What happened?

40:25 Drew I mean, we were just very intimidated at first.

40:28 Guest But how did he track you down then after that?

40:30 Drew He actually had people find us. Yeah. Some of his people find us. All he knew was Sandy and Mandy, and one lived in Las Vegas, and the other lived in Chicago, and that we both were college kids, and just people who talk to people, who talk to people. Finally, one night, I was out at a club. It took about a month, right? About a month later, and I heard people talking that he was looking for these twins, Sandy and Mandy, and I thought it was my friends just blowing smoke up my butt. Turned out to be true. The next day was Sunday, the phone rang. I answered it, and he said, Hi, darling, it's Hugh Hefner. I thought it was my friends still playing the same joke. I was like, oh yeah, I bet it is. It turned out to be him, and we called Mandy on three way. She said, there's somebody on the phone that wants to talk to you. I'm like, we're always calling each other, doing stupid stuff. I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Who is it? She said, it's Hugh Hefner. I said, yeah, and I'm the Queen of England, whatever. It turned out it was him. He said, hello. He was very polite and invited us to come out to the Midsummer Dreams Party two years ago. We came, and it's all history.

41:24 Guest You were in college when you met him?

41:25 Drew I'm still in college. Where? UNLV. And I'm a business major. I just moved out to Los Angeles about a year ago, so I've taken a semester off.

41:34 Adam Wow, and man, and let me just tell you something. If you ever try to get away, he'll find you. That's the number one.

41:41 Drew There's no bathroom passes. There's a running joke, no bathroom passes.

41:44 Adam And number two, I got two TV shows and a radio show. I've never been invited to one of these parties.

41:51 Drew Well, maybe if you're nice.

41:52 Adam He doesn't know I'm not nice.

41:54 Drew Or if you go blonde. No, he knew who you are. I said, you're the guy from the man show. He goes, oh, that guy.

41:59 Adam That guy. I've never been. You know, we've done things at the mansion. We've done, we had a man show.

42:05 Guest The original Loveline.

42:06 Adam The original launch party for Loveline.

42:08 Guest Before Fox.

42:10 Adam Yeah, this is way back when? Like four years ago. We had a man show press party there, I think. We're doing a man show. I think we're shooting a wraparound sort of compilation show. But I've never been in the house. He doesn't let me in the house. Once in a while, I see him peeking out of a window with what looks like a hunting rifle. But I'm always standing out by the koi pond in the back or getting a dry hump by an ostrich or whatever he has running around those grounds. I never actually get in the house. And whenever we have celebrities on this show, they always tell us about how great the mansion is and the PJ party was great and everything is great. And here we are, Drew, on Loveline. We don't get invited to one of Hef's many, many parties. Well, that's it.

42:53 Drew Most people don't get in the house. Usually the parties, it's just you can go downstairs where the great hall is and that's where you dance and like the dining area.

42:59 Adam I don't even get in that part.

43:00 Drew But you can't get upstairs. No one gets upstairs.

43:03 Adam I don't get near the staircase. That's what I'm saying. I walk from the driveway.

43:07 Guest These are out in the yard part.

43:08 Adam I go around. I stand by a bar that is built like a barbecue. It's got bricks and rocks in it. I get drunk and then I walk back out and get in the car again. That's what I do. And I chase the birds around a little.

43:24 Drew Be nice and maybe that will change.

43:25 Adam All right. Well, it's all going to change tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break and we'll be back with Manning and Sandy after this.

43:34 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

44:06 Adam It's Loveline and Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. That's Sandy punching her microphone. Am I right? Phone number 1-800-L-E-V-E-191. Forget about the fax number. Mandy and Sandy are both here. They're twins. They're the Bentley Twins. www.bentleytwins.com and.net, and it won't be up for another week. But write that down, and one week from today. Check them out. Also, you can check them out in the May edition. May, where all the real good-looking chicks. That's always the hot issue, the May issue, everybody.

44:37 Guest It's been in your honor all these years, strangely enough.

44:41 Adam It has been dedicated to me every year. Ashley?

44:45 Yes, hi.

44:45 Adam All right, you're 17. What's up?

44:47 Caller Yes. Every time that I have intercourse with my boyfriend, it hurts. It's been really hurting lately, it's the past two days.

44:57 Guest Are you on medication?

44:58 Caller No, I'm not.

44:59 Guest At what point does it hurt?

45:01 Caller When he just sticks it in, and it feels okay when he stays deep, but it hurts when he pulls out and stuff. Then I would go pee after it, and it just burns really bad.

45:14 Guest Any discharge or anything like that later?

45:18 Caller I don't know. Sometimes, yeah, there is discharge actually.

45:22 Guest How come you haven't seen a doctor about this?

45:24 Caller Huh?

45:25 Guest How come you haven't gone to see a doctor about this?

45:28 Caller Because I don't know, I just figured it would go away.

45:31 Guest Well, it's not going to go away, and it's something a doctor definitely needs to look at.

45:34 Adam Well, this hot shot's problem is he's moving around.

45:37 Guest You guys using a condom?

45:38 Adam When I have sex, I don't move. I just get in there, and then I fall asleep. Yeah, no wonder. Yeah, I mean, obviously this is happening, it's moving.

45:45 Guest What are you guys doing for birth control?

45:47 Caller Um, I haven't gotten on it yet.

45:49 Guest And you're not using a condom?

45:50 Caller No, we are.

45:52 Guest So it could be some kind of reaction to the condom, I suppose, and it's not so likely. Has he had any sort of indiscretion without a condom?

46:01 Adam She doesn't have indiscretion.

46:03 Caller Yeah, we have, but he's never like...

46:05 Adam No, no, no, Drew, please don't use grown-up words. Has he banged around with anyone else?

46:10 Caller No, no.

46:11 Guest No, but has he not used a condom on you occasionally?

46:14 Adam I thought you meant, you said indiscretion. I thought you meant...

46:17 Guest With the condom, the condom, with any imperfect use of the condom, maybe just occasionally.

46:21 Adam I thought you meant he'd screwed around on her and brought something back to the nest.

46:24 Guest Which he may have too.

46:26 Adam Hey, Ashley, what about lubrication?

46:30 Caller Yeah, we have.

46:31 Adam You using some of that stuff there? Yeah.

46:34 Guest Okay, well, look, you're old enough to be sexually active, so you've got to take the medical responsibility associated with being sexually active. You can get cervical cancer, you can get infections.

46:43 Caller Do you think it's anything like that?

46:44 Guest I think it may well be an infection. That's a possibility, but it needs to be checked out.

46:48 Caller Do you think it'll be cervical cancer?

46:49 Guest Nope, so cervical cancer doesn't really have any symptoms till way late in the game.

46:53 Adam All right, but hold on. But if that's going to stop you from going to the gynecologist, then it may be cervical cancer.

46:58 Guest Yeah, it definitely is. But beginning to have sex at an early age, having multiple partners, having HPV or warts, those are the things that put... What's that? First guy that I've ever met. I understand, but those are the things that put people at risk. But look, if you're a sectional agent, you've got to get a pap smear every year. That's that. And you should be getting on some birth control, pal.

47:14 Adam All right, but listen...

47:15 Guest Or some kind of birth control.

47:16 Adam All right. All right. You guys didn't like boys until you were seniors in high school?

47:21 Drew No, not really.

47:22 Adam Really? Oh my God.

47:23 Drew Because guys were always so aggressive with us. We developed early, so it was like we were totally turned off by it.

47:29 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah. You got boobs and you look good and all that kind of stuff at a young age, so a lot of guys were coming on to you.

47:36 Drew And there was two of us, so guys were usually intrigued by pairs a little bit, so they were always kind of interested in inquisitives.

47:43 Adam Yeah.

47:44 Drew Yeah.

47:45 Adam I don't want to burst your twin bubble, but you guys would do okay on your own, too. You realize you ever just split up?

47:51 Drew Yeah, we lived in the best states for a few years.

47:52 Adam Yeah. I'm sure there's guys around who are interested.

47:54 Drew It's more fun when we're together, though. We like to play games.

47:57 Adam Yeah. You ever do that thing where you're dating one guy and he thinks you're dating her and she's dating you and you do that swapy thing? No.

48:04 Drew We confuse that all the time.

48:06 Adam You do? Let me explain what's going on with that. It's not that he's confused, it's that he doesn't care.

48:11 Guest No, he doesn't care.

48:13 Adam He just goes, listen, I don't know. Just bring it on.

48:15 Guest He needs a cataract repair.

48:18 Adam Maybe he does cataract.

48:19 Drew Once he talks to us, it's just at first glance.

48:21 Adam No, he knows who you are. I'm just saying, doesn't matter. You're both beautiful. We're both half the fun. Yeah. Listen, I don't mean to take this in a bad way. I just wouldn't care. You could swap around your names, say you were someone different, wouldn't matter. I'd take you anyway.

48:37 Guest That's the way to sweet talk a twin, Adam. Way to go, pal. You're definitely on my way.

48:41 Adam I look at you as a-

48:41 Drew He's coming to the party. I can feel it.

48:43 Adam I'd give you one universal name. I'd call you-

48:46 Drew Smandy.

48:47 Adam Smandy. There you go. Thank you very much. I'd call you Smandy.

48:50 Drew We got called that in high school.

48:52 Adam They just call each one of you Smandy.

48:54 Drew No, the teachers would just say Smandy because they couldn't figure out which was which. Oh my God.

48:58 Adam You must have given your dad Fitz.

49:00 Drew He was extremely overprotective.

49:02 Adam Oh my God. Could you imagine having these two running around in high school? I'd chain you to the radiator in the basement. I wouldn't let you out of the house.

49:09 Drew At least knock out.

49:10 Adam Oh my God. Oh my God. I would know what to do.

49:13 Drew She was really bad. I took the heat for all. I got boy crazy first.

49:17 Adam Oh my God.

49:18 Drew And I stayed home and jumped from bed to bed and ran from the bedroom and said, pretending she was. I'm asleep mom, I'm asleep. And then I ran to my room. I'm asleep, I'm asleep. That was one of the good points. I could sneak out and she'd get checked first to make sure that she was in bed and then she'd go and run in my bed and pull the covers over and he'd think that I was sleeping.

49:32 Guest I'm gonna kill myself now.

49:33 Adam I remember high school too. Putting a pillow and a blanket under the cover so it looked like I was sleeping, sneaking out the window, climbing down the trellis, going into the yard, masturbating, and then climbing back into my bed. You remember that, Drew?

49:47 Drew Why would you go in the yard?

49:49 Adam Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you're right.

49:52 Drew Why wouldn't you just stay inside where you are?

49:53 Adam No, you're right. I should have just masturbated. I feel like an idiot now.

49:57 Guest He was having a rendezvous with his hand.

49:58 Drew You just wanted to sneak out like everybody else.

50:00 Adam I told my hand to meet me in the gazebo. Shh, my precious, don't talk. It's a full moon. You can see my other hand. You guys should make friends. Let's take a little break. Hugh is the great Hugh Hefner is going to come in here and hang out with us after this. All right, we're going to take a quick 10-second timeout for a little affiliate identification, and we'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

51:06 Guest This is Loveline on Radio Station.

51:21 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-F-E-E-1-9-1, Mandy and Sandy, The Bentley Twins have joined us tonight. You can find them on their website, www.bentleytwins.com and.net, starting in one week, mind you, and also in the May, upcoming May issue, Playboy, Hef has been kind enough to come join us in the studio now. And I want to thank you for coming in first off. Secondly, Hef invited me to his pajama birthday party. That is going to be good, that is.

51:56 Guest And by the way, the way he responded, I know it didn't look like much, but that is overt enthusiasm, that is like abject joy coming out of Adam, that hey, all right, boy.

52:07 Adam Well, I was, no, I was overwhelmed. It's like when a fan meets their celebrity they've idolized for so many years, they always say something stupid, or they're sort of stunned, or they have that deer in the headlights thing. That's all that was, Hef. Do not mistake it for anything else. I was shocked and pleased all at the same time. And truthfully, as a guy growing up in the San Fernando Valley and looking at Playboys, not only looking at Playboys, but as I was telling a friend of mine the other day, not only studying, scouring houses for Playboys. When I used to babysit, I was always sure there's a Playboy in every house somewhere. The point is, when you're 13 and you're babysitting, you have about four and a half hours to find that Playboy. I would go through the house like a SWAT team. You know like when the ATF raids a house and they're looking... Tear things open? Yeah, I'd take a stiletto, tearing open pillows, throwing feathers all over the place, pulling paintings off the wall and slashing them, looking everywhere. Then usually in the bathroom, underneath the sink, is where I'd find...

53:14 Guest I want you to notice I've coached Hef on radio.

53:16 Adam Find the Playboy you have?

53:18 Guest He's got the head nod down, he's got everything, all the Pinsky...

53:20 Adam Yeah, he's got everything, including the Pinsky move where his headset is facing the wrong way. There you go. You're doing a wonderful job coaching there, Drew.

53:28 Guest Is his mic working? Yeah, a second.

53:31 Adam Hef, how's that going? Give that a little test there. Yeah, he also knows the Dr. Drew School of Radio, which is head nodding.

53:38 Guest Yeah, that's what I mean.

53:41 Adam Yes, but I want to thank you for the invite. And I guess my question for you is, is how involved are you on the daily operation of the magazine and all the other entities of Playboy, the Empire?

53:57 Guest The magazine end and the creative end of the company, very active every day.

54:03 Adam And every month when they're deciding on a playmate or a pictorial, you're in there looking at the pictures.

54:10 Guest I'm the guy.

54:11 Drew He's the final say.

54:12 Adam Really?

54:13 Guest Yeah.

54:14 Adam Wow, that is great. I know your daughter Christy, right, has been doing a lot and has been doing a lot with that, but the buck still stops with you, right?

54:24 Guest Well, she runs the business end and I run the editorial and creative end.

54:29 Adam And has there ever been a playmate in all the years, and is it 40, how many years is it now?

54:38 Guest About 42.

54:39 Adam 42 years, has there ever been a playmate that got past you? I mean, one that was in that you didn't want in or that you were so so about or you got bullied into putting in?

54:51 Guest Well, you know, I passed on all of them, so I, you know, I approve on them, but some of So anyone who's naked in that magazine has to go through you? Certainly the pictures, yes.

55:06 Adam Right. And half of them themselves, but the pictures certainly. I was approached a couple of, about a year and a half ago, I think, to pick my favorite playmate. Remember that, Drew, in the back? I guess it's something you guys started some years ago. I don't believe it's too many years, where a celebrity, or in my case, a pseudo-celebrity, picks out the favorite playmate of yours and puts him in there. I went with Patti Farinelli because she was a big-busted Italian, and I remember her from high school. And Drew, we've spoken about this. I believe that it never, there's something about Playboy, and especially the high school years, or the years between maybe 15 and 20, where those women are etched into your psyche and into your brain.

55:59 Guest It's a part of the rite of passage, I think, from adolescence into adulthood, and you hold those images forever.

56:07 Adam Yeah, it's really strange that if I could get my hands on Patti Farinelli, it would be the greatest day of my life. But it's like the songs that you listen to back there, you swear the best songs ever made, or the movies that you saw, you swear the best movies you've ever seen. It's all part of that weird part. It's a part of your life where your brain is still a little bit soft.

56:29 Guest Yeah.

56:30 Adam Oh, this is the theme from Taboo 2, which is my favorite porn movie, Heft. Came out in probably 79, and that's etched in there too. All right. I'm going to attack the twins if you keep playing that. So, I'll stop that ass. That's why I'm here. Someone's got to get in between us. All right. Heft, now, you heard me begging on the air for this man show bit, where I'm looking at the Playboy, admiring the beautiful women inside the Playboy, fantasizing about, like every young man does, about one day being with this playmate. Do you have a great objection to this? We've been having some difficulty trying to work this out.

57:10 Guest I don't think it's a big problem in the concept. There may be a problem in terms of the environment. I think you're playing it all out in the toilet.

57:19 Adam I know. That's the problem that the Playboy people have had with the bit. You'll be glad to know that your folks are doing their work. Man, are they doing their job? We talked to them 15 times.

57:31 Guest They said, come out of the toilet.

57:33 Adam We had a yes and then our whole legal department went and said, I'm going to kill these Stone Stanley guys. You know how our company works. We had a guy from Playboy, and you're lucky because I can't remember his name because you probably fire him as soon as you got back, but he said, listen, we love you guys over at the Man Show. We've done stuff with you guys before. This is great. Go right ahead. Do it. Use the Playboy. Knock yourselves out. It'll be fine. Then our legal department sent them a letter, which they do once in a while, which is basically, do you know what they're doing? Then they get hold of the letter and go, oh my God, this is what they're doing. Then they came back to us and said, Hef doesn't like stuff to go on in the bathroom. Unacceptable. But this is an homage, is what I'm saying, Hef. I understand. There's no reaching for toilet paper, any of that kind of stuff. I'm just fantasizing in the bathroom about the young lady. She pops into the bathroom, my fantasy has come true, and then all of a sudden the mood is broken by the foul odor of the bathroom and she storms out.

58:39 Guest Maybe just changing your colostomy bag or something, Adam. It doesn't have to be a bathroom. You know what I'm saying?

58:45 Adam It's a very good, a very good alternative.

58:46 Guest A hospital getting prepped for some procedure.

58:49 Adam Yeah, but here, seriously, I hate to put you on the spot, but is it out of the question that we do this?

58:57 Guest Well, I think that you have to rework your plot a little bit. We don't mind those fantasy notions, but I think you have to move away from the toilet humor.

59:09 Adam But then that's the joke is, that's why she...

59:11 Guest The toilet environment and the toilet humor.

59:12 Adam She lands in the bathroom and that's... All right, all right.

59:16 Drew I thought if you made it in like a bedroom and just made it like, you know, that he accidentally had passed gas or something.

59:23 Adam All right, you know what I think.

59:25 Guest Well, we have to work on that too.

59:27 Drew It's better than the bathroom.

59:28 Adam Well, we're not hearing any noises or anything. I'm just sort of sitting there passing the day, reading the fine publication Playboy. That's all. All right, all right. I can see Hugh Hefner, I should say, is a fairly tough nut to crack off to work on him a little more.

59:43 Caller Why like a dark guy with a very big willy? That?

59:47 Adam No, who? Oh, that was Caprice. Yeah.

59:49 Guest Wow.

59:50 Adam Hefner, I bet you didn't know that about him.

59:52 Guest I guess not. I don't think she mentioned that in her editorial.

59:56 Drew You know, new things about him.

59:57 Adam Janet?

59:59 Caller Yeah.

59:59 Adam You're 15. What is that?

1:00:02 Caller Oh, I met my boyfriend a couple of years ago.

1:00:05 Adam You, I'm sorry?

1:00:06 Caller I met my boyfriend a couple of years ago.

1:00:08 Adam She met him?

1:00:09 Caller Yeah.

1:00:09 Adam Okay.

1:00:10 Caller We've been together for a year and a half. And, well, we love each other very much. And apparently, see, I had kind of a checkered past.

1:00:21 Guest What does that mean?

1:00:22 Caller Like I was with other guys and I didn't tell him until just recently.

1:00:25 Guest What do you mean with them?

1:00:26 Caller Like I didn't have sex with them, but I like did things with them.

1:00:30 Guest While you were dating this guy? No, no, no, no, no.

1:00:32 Adam No, before.

1:00:34 Caller But I didn't tell him until just a couple, like, maybe two months ago.

1:00:37 Adam Yeah.

1:00:38 Guest Did that bother him?

1:00:39 Caller Yeah, a lot.

1:00:40 Guest That's that age.

1:00:41 Guest Yeah.

1:00:41 Guest How old is he now?

1:00:42 Caller What?

1:00:43 Guest How old is he now?

1:00:44 Caller He's seventeen.

1:00:45 Guest Yeah.

1:00:45 Guest Perfect, perfect for that, be bothered by this stuff.

1:00:48 Adam All right. So, and he probably coaxed it out of you too, right? He wanted to know.

1:00:53 Caller Yeah. And like, well, I had told him that I hadn't done anything, and I lied to him, and then I told him that I did, because I told him what happened. I told him, like, everything I did.

1:01:01 Adam Right.

1:01:02 Caller And he kind of freaked out.

1:01:03 Adam Yeah.

1:01:04 Caller And, like, now he's, he, he's, like, we're, like, practically destroyed our entire relationship now.

1:01:12 Adam But listen, he was looking to freak out. Yeah. I mean, why else would he push so hard for this information?

1:01:18 Caller Well, because he knew I was lying to him.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah. But why does he care? You know what I'm saying? And I know he's saying, oh, it's not that you're with guys, it's that you lied, but that's a whole load of crap.

1:01:28 Caller Well, because, like, I was thinking that, you know, if he loved me as much as he said he did, he would be able to get over it.

1:01:33 Guest That's correct. He'd forgive.

1:01:35 Caller But, um, I would-

1:01:36 Adam Forgive what?

1:01:38 Guest If it bothered him, he'd get over it. Yeah.

1:01:40 Caller But I'm afraid to lose him. Yeah, but-

1:01:42 Guest Well, of course, you're 15. These relationships are very intense, but they essentially always come to a close. It sounds like this one has run its course. It really does.

1:01:51 Adam Yeah, if you're with the same woman you were with when you were 15, I-

1:01:55 Caller Probably not.

1:01:56 Adam Different one?

1:01:56 Caller Okay.

1:01:58 Adam Janet?

1:01:58 Caller Yeah.

1:01:59 Adam All right. I know it's painful. I know you're confused. I know you're caught in the midst of this. It's one of these things where it sort of will take care of itself. If he loved you like he says he did, then he will get past this and you guys will have a relationship. And if he can't get past it, it means he didn't love you the way he said he did. All right. That was good enough. She bought that, didn't she? Janet, you bought that, didn't you? All right. I know how guys are at 17. I know the games they play, and I know what they do to themselves. And we've all done it. I don't know what it is about guys. They get that and it somehow goes away when you get older.

1:02:39 Guest Yeah, the testosterone levels start dropping.

1:02:42 Adam What's that?

1:02:42 Guest He's torturing himself right now.

1:02:44 Adam Yeah, absolutely. But it's like when you have a loose tooth and it hurts and you can't stop playing with it with your tongue. You know what I mean? You keep screwing around with it, and he kept going at her for the information.

1:02:58 Guest I swear it is the brain effect of testosterone that makes guys like that. It's a territorial thing that they've got to know where their boundaries are and what they've got territory over and then they can't handle it when they find out.

1:03:09 Adam Thank God I'm now producing estrogen. Life is so much easier. It is so much easier. Drew's been nicer to me. I think it's a pheromone thing. He smells it on me, especially around the period. Virginia?

1:03:26 Caller Yeah.

1:03:26 Adam You're 14. What's up?

1:03:28 Caller I'm 14.

1:03:28 Adam Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking at the wrong one. You're 19.

1:03:31 Caller Yeah. I had called in a while ago. I talked to Drew about a month ago. I talked to him. I had woken up with the right side of my body numb.

1:03:40 Guest Right.

1:03:41 Caller And headache?

1:03:42 Guest Was that you?

1:03:43 Caller I have had migraines in the past.

1:03:45 Guest Okay. We thought maybe this was a migraine thing.

1:03:48 Caller The emergency room told me it was stress. The neurologist that you told me to see a neurologist. Yep. And they said it was a migraine.

1:03:54 Guest Migraine. Good. Okay.

1:03:57 Caller But I still, that, this was back in October. That the incident happened. And I still feel, I still have a different sensation in the right side of my body.

1:04:06 Guest Well, migraines can actually, I don't want you to freak out about this, but it can, it can disturb brain function. It's basically a restriction of blood supply to that part of the brain that is responsible for feeling. And when the blood comes back in, that's usually when the headache occurs. And that restrictive phenomenon can cause damage, can cause damage, not such damage that you would have difficulty thinking or reasoning or changing personality, but certainly you could have these sorts of symptoms you're describing.

1:04:36 Caller Hello?

1:04:37 Adam Oh boy.

1:04:37 Guest Did you hear any of that? Hello?

1:04:39 Adam Hey, Virginia?

1:04:40 Guest Yeah.

1:04:41 Adam Put the phone on your good ear. Tell her that again.

1:04:44 Caller It just went, it went away.

1:04:46 Guest Okay, but it's just, it's part of the effects of migraine. And you do need to talk to your neurologist about this. It's what makes it so important that you control these migraineous phenomenons.

1:04:54 Caller Okay, and how do I do that?

1:04:56 Guest They didn't put you on any medication for it?

1:04:58 Caller She said it come back in four months, that she sees it all the time.

1:05:02 Guest That's right, but you've got to talk to her about the fact that there's persistent symptoms. And they may put you on something called a beta blocker or a calcium blocker to prevent headaches. They might give you imitrax or zomig or moxol.

1:05:13 Adam Yeah, but does that stuff kill the pain or does it actually stop the migraine?

1:05:17 Guest It changes the nature of the vascular activity. Well, it changes the pain and it probably changes the vascular activity.

1:05:23 Adam So if there's damage done by a severe migraine, it could be headed off by taking this medication.

1:05:30 Guest Yes, certain medicines, yes.

1:05:31 Adam And are you more apt to do damage to yourself if you have this at a younger age, in your 40s or something?

1:05:38 Guest Yeah, yeah, and she should not be on the birth control pill. Should not be. This is for me the one circumstance where you would not put somebody on birth control pill.

1:05:44 Adam Why?

1:05:45 Guest Because it could make that a lot worse.

1:05:46 Adam The migraines or the medication?

1:05:48 Guest The migraine.

1:05:49 Adam Jake?

1:05:50 Caller Yeah?

1:05:50 Adam You're 14.

1:05:51 Caller Yeah.

1:05:52 Adam What's up?

1:05:53 Caller Well, first I'd like to say, Adam, you rule.

1:05:56 Adam Thank you.

1:05:56 Caller You're the coolest. And Sandy and Mandy, you guys are hot. Thank you. Okay. So, I, well, okay, I'm...

1:06:05 Adam What's Hef over here?

1:06:07 Drew He's the man, right?

1:06:08 Caller Yeah, yeah, he's tight.

1:06:10 Adam He's tight? He's tight.

1:06:12 Caller So, okay.

1:06:13 Adam Hold on. Hef, that's good. He knows. He's tight. That's like 22 skidoo. Okay. I'm like... Oh, sorry. I was just kidding. I'm still going to the party, though, right? Listen, I know we don't have to talk at the party. I know it's going to be embarrassing.

1:06:27 Guest No.

1:06:30 Adam All right, Jake. What is up?

1:06:32 Caller Okay. I'm bi, and I was hanging out with my girlfriend at her house, and she went out to the drugstore to pick up something for her dad. I don't remember. I think it was...

1:06:43 Guest If I could have...

1:06:44 Caller I don't know. It was toothpicks or something. I don't remember. But her and her cousin, her and me and her cousin, like, started messing around. He's a guy. And then she came home, and we were sort of, like...

1:07:03 Guest You want to teach her half how to gamble?

1:07:04 Caller What?

1:07:05 Adam No, I'm sure he's... he doesn't have time for that. But Jake...

1:07:09 Caller Yeah?

1:07:10 Adam What's up with you? You're messing around with the cousin while the girlfriend was picking up at the pharmacy.

1:07:16 Caller She walked in, and like... she, like, got pissed at me.

1:07:21 Adam Yeah.

1:07:22 Caller And... so... well, she dumped me, basically.

1:07:26 Adam Yeah. All right, good.

1:07:28 Caller But then, like, two days later, I called her other cousins, that cousin's sister, and it turns out that she... it's actually her step-cousin, and she's going out with him now. And I don't know, like, what I should do.

1:07:43 Adam All right. Well, you successfully found a family that was more screwed up than your own. Which is probably not easy, but you found the needle in the haystack, Jake. Now, listen to me, you screwball. I don't know what's up with you. I don't know what happened to you, but you're 14 years old, and you're acting like a sailor on leave. You understand?

1:08:04 Caller Yeah.

1:08:04 Adam Now, what's up with you?

1:08:05 Guest What happened?

1:08:06 Adam What happened to you?

1:08:07 Caller Nothing.

1:08:08 Adam Now, what's going on with that family of yours?

1:08:11 Caller Nothing happened.

1:08:12 Adam Seriously, Jake, we know something's up. Now, what happened?

1:08:16 Caller I don't know. Nothing that I know of.

1:08:18 Adam Huh?

1:08:19 Caller I don't know.

1:08:19 Adam Do you have any weird uncles?

1:08:21 Caller No.

1:08:22 Adam Come on. Tell us the truth.

1:08:24 Caller Well, okay. When I was like six, my brother, who was like four years older than me, like wanted me to give him like secondhand...

1:08:37 Guest Alright. Now, who got to your brother?

1:08:39 Caller What?

1:08:40 Guest Who got at your brother, do you think?

1:08:41 Caller I don't know.

1:08:42 Guest But somebody obviously abused him too. Was there physical abuse in the family?

1:08:47 Caller No.

1:08:48 Guest Just the brother? Was your brother disturbed in other ways? Was he a behavior problem?

1:08:53 Caller Not really.

1:08:54 Guest Just this one way?

1:08:56 Caller Yeah.

1:08:57 Adam Did this happen more than once?

1:08:59 Caller No. That once and like, not more than that.

1:09:03 Adam Yeah. Anything else?

1:09:05 Caller No.

1:09:05 Guest Nothing happened with peers or anything like that a little later? Eight, nine?

1:09:13 Caller Um, well, okay. I went on a camping trip.

1:09:17 Adam Oh, that's it. You don't even have to say any more. You go camping, everything, all bets are off.

1:09:23 Guest How old were you when you were?

1:09:24 Adam You go camping, it's like going to international waters.

1:09:27 Guest How old were you?

1:09:28 Adam It's nothing but sexual abuse going on in this campground.

1:09:31 Caller Okay.

1:09:32 Guest How old were you, Jake, at that point?

1:09:33 Caller I was ten.

1:09:34 Guest Ten. So that's where it came back again, right? How old was the person that abused you?

1:09:39 Caller How old was I? Ten or so.

1:09:41 Guest Ten, another ten year old.

1:09:42 Adam When you went camping with this person?

1:09:44 Caller Yeah.

1:09:44 Adam Was he a friend of yours?

1:09:46 Caller Yeah, he was.

1:09:47 Adam Oh, okay. All right. So listen, Jake, you've had a bunch of stuff happen to you and it's kind of, it's bent your antenna a little bit. You're a little bit confused. You're acting out.

1:09:58 Caller Yeah.

1:09:58 Adam You're not quite sure what direction to go in.

1:10:01 Caller Yeah.

1:10:01 Adam You're going to get yourself into trouble and you're going to get yourself more confused if you just keep sort of acting out.

1:10:08 Caller Okay.

1:10:08 Adam You know what I mean? I think you need to slow down. Get a little therapy or read a book or find Jesus Christ or something like that.

1:10:17 Caller Okay.

1:10:18 Adam And just slow down.

1:10:19 Caller Okay.

1:10:20 Adam I mean maybe you're bi, maybe you're gay, maybe you're straight, maybe you're everything. But you're 14.

1:10:25 Guest And whatever is going on now is from having been abused when you were younger. It's not an accident that we knew that history was there.

1:10:33 Drew I mean it's perfectly normal for you to be as curious as you are about what you're going to do, but you're just making bad choices.

1:10:40 Adam Yes. Yes. And everyone who calls this show that's in this position thinks they're going to clear up the mystery if they just go out and sort of sample the buffet. But it doesn't work. It makes you more confused. It makes it worse. Hey, when you're 24 maybe, but at 14 it doesn't...

1:10:55 Guest No, that's pathology.

1:10:57 Adam It doesn't work. Yeah. Hugh, you knew your heterosexual, I should say, Hef told me to call him Hef. His friends call him Hef.

1:11:06 Guest Well, he said his friends call him Hef at the beginning of the segment. Might be Hugh again.

1:11:09 Adam All right. I was just told...

1:11:11 Guest We know each other.

1:11:12 Adam We got to fix Hef's mic. Yeah, we're tight.

1:11:15 Guest All right.

1:11:15 Adam I'm going to work on Hef during the break about why the bathroom is funny. And we'll be back with Hef and the Twins after this.

1:11:25 Guest Back once again with it.

1:12:01 Adam All right, well, bad news, my car was stolen, so I got to ride home with Hef tonight. It's tragic. Mandy and Sandy are both here, the Bentley Twins. They can be found one week from today, by the way, on www.bentleytwins.com and.net. Also, you can find them in the upcoming issue of the May edition of Playboy Magazine. Hugh Hefner's are also one of our guests tonight. I call him Hef because we're now tight. I just got myself a phone call from Daniel Kelson, the executive producer of the Man Show. And he reminded me to remind Hef that we were working on shooting one of our fabulous Man Show best of spectacular. We're doing two. One we're doing in Maui because we can. And the other one we would love to do at the Playboy Mansion sometime in May. And we would love it if Hef had a part in it as well. Just made an appearance or a cameo. Basically we just take all our best of moments from the last season and then Jimmy and I sit around and reminisce and string them together. Hef, does that sound out of the question?

1:13:14 Guest I think that certainly has a lot more possibilities than something in the toilet.

1:13:18 Adam Yeah, we wouldn't, I wouldn't even go to the bathroom unless I would go right out in the yard. And look, Drew, Hef, you gotta work those cans out.

1:13:28 Guest You two share this mic.

1:13:29 Adam Oh, is that mic still not work, right? Oh, that's what I love about this dump, Westwood, too. Hef, let me ask you, I know the twins are originally from Chicago, right? And I don't know, I know you were based in Chicago and all that. I just sort of assumed you were from Chicago, but where are you from?

1:13:50 Guest That's where I was born and raised. I'm a Chicago boy.

1:13:53 Adam Oh, God. We're just telling the twins how much we love Chicago ourselves. Do you get back there a lot?

1:14:00 Guest Not a lot, but it's a very good town.

1:14:03 Caller We're going back soon.

1:14:04 Guest Yeah, and we are going back.

1:14:06 Adam Does Playboy have holdings in Chicago as well? I mean, is there a Chicago office?

1:14:12 Guest That's our headquarters.

1:14:13 Adam Oh, I thought...

1:14:15 Guest Playboy headquarters are still in Chicago.

1:14:16 Adam Oh, I thought everyone had picked up and moved in the big building up on Sunset.

1:14:22 Guest Well, we have offices in New York and Los Angeles, but headquarters is in Chicago.

1:14:27 Adam How could I get my hands on some of those old... You know, like I said, like we talked about earlier, for me, my Playboy wheelhouse was probably 79 through maybe 84. Those were the salad days. More like the salad dressing days, actually. A little creamy ranch, but those were my years for Playboy. And if I could get my hands on some of those old Playmate videos from that era, I would go berserk. I really would. I would have, there would be a party in my underpants, and it would be like Mardi Gras in there. Every time I dropped my pants, you'd hear cheering and confetti flying around. Where do I get my hands on those things? Once in a while, I go to a video store and I see Playboy calendar, you know, video calendar, that kind of stuff, but it never goes back that far.

1:15:25 Guest Well, I think that the video didn't begin until the early 80s, or the very late 70s.

1:15:31 Adam Right.

1:15:31 Guest I think, you know.

1:15:34 Adam I'm saying, I gotta get a hold of those. I gotta get like 79 and 80 and 81. How do I get something like that?

1:15:41 Guest Well, you check through, you know, the Playboy store on playboy.com.

1:15:47 Adam Oh, really?

1:15:50 Guest Or the catalog. Playboy collectibles are, you know, a big, growing thing. Here's what I'm asking.

1:15:55 Adam What do you got in the car?

1:15:57 Guest What do I got in the car?

1:15:58 Adam I mean, have anything in the car, something rolling around the trunk, Patti Farinelli? I don't mean herself, but I mean, any pornography out in the car, anything I could look at?

1:16:09 Guest I brought all the good stuff in here with me.

1:16:10 Adam Oh, this is great. No, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong, ladies. But no old stuff floating around in the back.

1:16:17 Guest No, Adam, nothing is better than the VCR, unfortunately. The reality doesn't compare.

1:16:22 Adam You guys are great.

1:16:22 Drew Is there rewind and fast forward? On your favorite parts?

1:16:24 Adam You guys are solid, but it's just not the real thing.

1:16:26 Drew There's no mute button.

1:16:27 Adam That's what I'm saying. Actually, there's no slow motion. All right, I'm going to get... So if I go on the website, playboy.com, one could order archival things.

1:16:41 Guest Yes, there's a portion of the Playboy website that is related to catalog stuff from the past, and there's also a section where Playboy fans trade material and cell material. Collectors. There's a whole collectible, Playboy collectible thing.

1:16:59 Adam Well, on the one hand, I'd be really happy to get my hands on something like that. On the other hand, I wouldn't trust a man who traded away a Patty Fernelli video. You know what I'm saying? I might take a swing at him. I'd wonder what was up with him. All right, we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Leon, who's 19. Leon? Yeah, there's nobody named Leon anymore.

1:17:23 Guest Actually, that's true. Except for Leon Trotsky.

1:17:27 Guest What's going on, Leon?

1:17:28 Guest Uh, Dr. Drew, I've been having tremors. I think in the middle of the street one day, I was just walking down the street one day, and I was going to school. And I just had these incredible tremors, and I saw red. And my red, and I could see, like, the tree of the veins inside my retina.

1:17:44 Guest Wow, interesting.

1:17:45 Guest Yeah, and these, like, black spots were coming out, like the sky, and they were raining down on me. And then I woke up, and I was, like, looking upwards at the sky.

1:17:54 Adam That's what it would be like for me if I could get my hands on one of those old videos.

1:17:58 Guest So you passed out?

1:17:59 Guest I basically passed out, yes.

1:18:01 Guest Did you have a seizure?

1:18:02 Guest No, I don't remember having a seizure, but bystanders said that I was staggering. And then I fell to the ground.

1:18:09 Guest Are you taking drugs?

1:18:10 Guest Yeah.

1:18:11 Guest What are you taking?

1:18:12 Guest Methamphetamines.

1:18:15 Guest All bets are off here. It could have been a seizure, it could have been a stroke.

1:18:19 Guest And basically I have a library, an archive, a Playboy, and I just like to say I am humble to be in the presence of greatness.

1:18:25 Adam Really?

1:18:27 Guest You got to deal with your addiction.

1:18:32 Adam Alright, but listen screwball.

1:18:35 Guest Could have been a rhythm disturbance, a heart rhythm disturbance.

1:18:38 Guest I love your work too, Dr. Drew.

1:18:40 Guest Stay with me, pal. You know what I mean? Hang on.

1:18:42 Adam I don't want to hold. You keep talking to him.

1:18:44 Guest Could have been a heart rhythm disturbance, could have been a small stroke, could have been a seizure. These are all things that can kill you related to speed use. Methamphetamine is a very tough drug to stop. You've got to get into some treatment.

1:18:54 Adam Hold on a second. I'm just playing at an angle here.

1:18:57 Guest He's still talking.

1:18:58 Adam Hey, Leon. Listen. I want you to get help. I want you to go on a rehab. I want you to get off the meth. Okay, what would you? Hold on. Listen to me. Okay, I'll listen. If something should happen to you, can I have the Playboy stuff?

1:19:15 Guest Well, yeah, I've got it.

1:19:16 Adam All right. That's all I needed to get to. Oh, man. Listen, Leon, speed is the ugliest of drugs. Listen, I'm a pretty liberal guy. I don't mind people doing certain things. A guy wants to smoke a little weed on his own time. That's his business or have a drink or whatever the hell he wants to do. But I'm telling you, speed is evil. Do not get involved with that if you're listening. All right. Even if you're not listening. Steve?

1:19:42 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:19:43 Adam You're 18.

1:19:45 Caller Yeah.

1:19:45 Adam What's up?

1:19:46 Caller I just wanted to talk to you. Tell them what a great fan I am. I think you're a great man.

1:19:50 Guest Well, thank you.

1:19:51 Caller Yeah. And actually, I was wondering what it's like to have three girlfriends.

1:19:56 Guest Very nice.

1:19:58 Adam Hey, what do you expect? To hell? It's like having a sharp steel prods rammed into your liver. What do you think it's like, Steve?

1:20:06 Caller I was wondering, actually, hoping for some more detail.

1:20:11 Guest Well, I think we're best friends. And what makes it very, very special is not the number. It's...

1:20:18 Adam Connection.

1:20:19 Guest Yes.

1:20:20 Drew People are making it very complex. Just imagine being around three of the people that you love the most. Everyone's having a great time enjoying life, being 21, being for him 21 for the second time, you know? We're all having a great time.

1:20:30 Guest And making me 21, that's right.

1:20:31 Drew There's no juice to it.

1:20:33 Caller Yeah, I just think you're a very lucky man.

1:20:35 Guest I am a very lucky man.

1:20:36 Caller Yeah.

1:20:37 Guest Well, much blessed.

1:20:38 Adam It doesn't have that much to do with luck, Steve. The man's worked hard. He's built himself an empire.

1:20:43 Guest And very charming.

1:20:44 Adam And now he's... Oh, yes. And listen, good looking, too. Yeah, I really... I'm not normally sexually drawn to men.

1:20:53 Drew You're trying anything, aren't you? Do I trade seats?

1:20:56 Guest I have a big breakthrough here tonight.

1:20:59 Adam I'll tell you, I gotta tell you, I hang around a lot of guys that they're not gay and they would probably make fun of me if that was the direction I went, but if I told them it was with half, they'd probably go, Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah, there's a certain strategy there.

1:21:15 Guest Yes.

1:21:17 Adam You get to live in the house.

1:21:18 Guest I think I can see through that.

1:21:19 Caller Uh-huh.

1:21:20 Adam And the grotto.

1:21:20 Caller Uh-huh.

1:21:23 Adam Just a little maintenance with Hef. Yeah, that's good. You get to go to the PJ party. Seriously, Hef, on those PJ parties, it just popped in my head. I know this sounds like a joke question, but I'm really deadly serious about it. Guys wearing pajamas, beautiful women running around in the negligee.

1:21:41 Guest You wear a chalk strap around them.

1:21:42 Adam Yes, do you have to?

1:21:44 Guest He saw the question coming.

1:21:45 Adam Do you have to duct tape the penis to the inner thigh or something? Aren't there guys walking around with tents coming out of their pants?

1:21:52 Guest Well, let's put it this way, if that's where you're looking, I think we have a problem at the party.

1:21:56 You're going to have a doll night.

1:21:59 Adam All right, but you get some of these NBA stars over to the mansion. They're eight feet tall. Artie Johnson gets poked in the eye. I don't know who the hell. Do you have a guest list of people, celebrities from the 60s, from the 70s? The names that have come through that mansion that have attended the parties over the years, some in different stages of their careers. Think about how interesting that is. A guy who was on top doing a TV show of the 70s, his career is going great, you've never heard his name because that was his one good year.

1:22:42 Guest Gabe Kaplan.

1:22:45 Adam Gabe Kaplan or Yakov Smirnoff or something came by in 78, 79. Or conversely other guys who were sort of on the way up turned out to go through the roof. I mean are there any names of any guys? And what's like been the most consistent guest over the years? Is it like a James Cahn or is it someone like that? I mean who is that short list of guys who have been attending for 20 years?

1:23:12 Guest Well in terms of friends over many, many years, sure it would be Tony Curtis and Jimmy Cahn and Robert Culp and a lot of, I think friendship is part of what my life has been all about. Mine was the house when I was a kid where the kids came to play, and that is still true today.

1:23:35 Adam Oh man, that is very eloquent. Very eloquent. Well, I'm going to that party. I am and we're my PJs and I'm doing some playing. Drew, we're making out in the grotto. I don't care what your wife says.

1:23:47 Guest That's the date to make out.

1:23:48 Adam That's right.

1:23:49 Guest You're going to be in front of somebody this evening for that.

1:23:51 Adam I'm going to practice. That's right. Carly?

1:23:54 Caller Yeah.

1:23:55 Adam You're 23.

1:23:56 Caller Yeah. Good evening.

1:23:58 Adam Hey.

1:23:59 Caller Hey. Okay. I'm really nervous. I've never picked up anybody famous before. Basically, I've been having... I always suffer from nightmares, but it's gotten worse, and it's really weird, but I dream of a devil, and he hurts me, and he kills me, and he goes after my family, and every time I try to...

1:24:19 Guest Is it always in dreams you don't believe this sort of thing is happening when you're awake?

1:24:23 Caller I'm not really religious or anything. I believe in God.

1:24:27 Guest Do you see things or hear things when you're awake?

1:24:30 Caller No.

1:24:31 Adam So is there a reoccurring thing about the devil?

1:24:34 Caller It's not. I don't have the same dream every day, but I do have these dreams every day.

1:24:39 Guest Do you have, do you get up and...

1:24:40 Adam Hold on a second. You don't dream the same thing every day, but you have this dream every day?

1:24:45 Caller I don't dream the same dream every day, but...

1:24:47 Guest Same theme every day.

1:24:48 Caller Exactly. The same theme.

1:24:51 Guest Do you scream out in your sleep? Do you yell in your sleep or anything like that?

1:24:55 Caller Yes, I do. I wake up crying like when like yesterday in my dream the devil took my hand and all of a sudden the end of the world came and...

1:25:04 Guest Did you have some sort of major trauma in your life when you were growing up?

1:25:07 Caller Yeah.

1:25:08 Guest What happened?

1:25:08 Adam Molested by Satan.

1:25:09 Guest What happened?

1:25:11 Adam What happened?

1:25:11 Caller Right now I'm a heroin addict. Basically I was a model singer, actress and everything and now all those jobs have been gone. Now I'm living in one veteran apartment that I'm sharing with a person I just met.

1:25:28 Guest What was the major trauma that you were referring to?

1:25:32 Caller Well, like I said, I'm a heroin addict.

1:25:33 Guest I understand. What was the major trauma you went through growing up?

1:25:37 Caller My father committed suicide.

1:25:38 Guest Did you witness that?

1:25:41 Caller No. But my father was basically all I really had.

1:25:45 Adam Where's your mother?

1:25:46 Caller My family doesn't speak to me anymore because...

1:25:49 Adam Where was your mother?

1:25:50 Caller Where was my mother? My father actually was in California. My mother was... They were in Michigan.

1:25:57 Guest She's not tracking.

1:25:58 Adam Listen, you didn't have contact with your mother growing up?

1:26:01 Caller Oh, yes, of course. Yeah, I lived with my mother. I'm sorry. I didn't understand.

1:26:04 Adam Okay. And you didn't get along well with your mother?

1:26:07 Caller Oh, no. We got along great. But because of this, because her big, honor roll student turned drug addict, she doesn't want anything to do with me.

1:26:15 Guest Dad was an alcoholic?

1:26:17 Caller No.

1:26:17 Guest Mom?

1:26:18 Caller No.

1:26:19 Guest Oh, Carolla.

1:26:20 Adam Someone did something.

1:26:20 Guest Come on.

1:26:21 Caller No, seriously. The only thing like my father, he was addicted to painkillers.

1:26:25 Guest Okay, all right. Well, that's the same thing.

1:26:28 Adam Drew, I got to make it clear. When Drew says alcoholic, he doesn't mean necessarily consuming alcohol, but he means that the person has a biological predisposition to be hooked on a substance.

1:26:39 Guest And that puts him on risk for opiates and pot and everything else.

1:26:42 Caller Yeah, but you got to understand, though, when I was little, I mean, he just did, you know, he took his painkillers. I mean, his stem rolls and stuff. But when I was little, I didn't know what that was. I just...

1:26:49 Adam Yeah, but you got the gene.

1:26:51 Guest And it doesn't... A, you inherited the gene, and that's what sets you up. B, you model the behavior. And C, having a parent that is detached because they are on drugs is an abandonment. They are completely unavailable to you in the emotional way that children need in order to nurture their growth and development.

1:27:10 Caller Trust me, yeah, I know. I mean, I just...

1:27:12 Guest All right.

1:27:12 Adam So, listen, Carolla, you got to get off the heroin and then we can worry about the weaning away from the devil. Do they have a 12-step plan for Satan, Drew?

1:27:20 Guest Strangely, he will probably will vanish if she gets off the heroin. Carolla, you got to go somewhere to get treated. That's it. There's no two ways about this.

1:27:30 Adam There you go.

1:27:30 Guest That's it. You have to deal with this. You have a fatal disease that needs to be treated.

1:27:35 Caller That I do understand. I just wanted to ask one question. I said, okay, for Hugh, whose idea was it to have Darva Kongar, you know, to want Darva Kongar on that magazine? Darva Kongar?

1:27:51 Guest Who's Darva Kongar? Marry the Millionaire?

1:27:53 Guest Oh, Darva. Well, I think that there are many roads to celebrity these days, and I think that that's one of the curious ones, and there is, I think that she has expressed some interest in being in Playboy. I think we're talking to her.

1:28:10 Caller All right.

1:28:10 Guest Hey, Carly, please get treatment. You've got to go.

1:28:13 Adam Don't worry about other stuff other than you getting off heroin, all right?

1:28:16 Caller Well, I'm either going to jail tomorrow or I'm going...

1:28:19 Adam All right. Well, that would be good for you, quite frankly.

1:28:22 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:28:22 Guest Well, no, Gio could save your life. Scott Weiland, who I ran to the other day, that saved his life.

1:28:28 Adam Stone Temple Pile. I have a friend who was going crazy on crack and he went to jail for eight months or whatever. It saved his life. It really did. I mean, that's the only part about putting drug addicts in prison that I like. I mean, I don't believe that you should be put in prison for doing drugs, but on the other hand, there's people out there. It saves their lives. They're absolutely out of control. Hef, do you have a son by the way? I hear about your daughter, but do you have a son?

1:28:59 Guest I have a son from my first marriage and two boys from my more recent marriage.

1:29:05 Adam Oh yeah, well of course. Do you need a fourth? Not a full time thing.

1:29:12 Guest I understand. You're looking for a little adoption here?

1:29:16 Adam Well listen, here's the deal. I know we're running late for commercial break, but I'm a good carpenter, and I know you live in a big spread, and they're probably sticking it to you with these guys working on it, doing shoddy work, skimming off the top. I'd give it all up. I'd move into one of the smaller rooms, maybe not your room at first.

1:29:34 Guest I appreciate that.

1:29:34 Adam Into a smaller room, one of the cottages out back with one of the pinball machines in it. Shack up there and just become like the maintenance guy. I'd give it all up. I really would, Drew. Wouldn't that be great?

1:29:47 Guest I know you're serious, too.

1:29:48 Adam You're goddamn right I'm serious. It would be the greatest life ever. I'd laugh like a hyena every morning when I woke up. All right. We'll just take ourselves a break. Could you picture me, Drew? Bronze, muscles, rippling. No. Hairy, pasty and white.

1:30:07 Guest With a tool thing off your waist.

1:30:10 Adam Chasing a peacock, trying to rape it.

1:30:12 Guest And your butt crack. That's right.

1:30:14 Adam That's right. Picking up the playmates with low self-esteem. That'd be me. That'd be the go-to guy for them. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back with Mandy and Sandy and of course, Hef after this. Well, here we are. A little more Loveline to go. Manny and Sandy are our guests tonight. They are the Bentley Twins. You can find them one week from today on their website, www.bentleytwins.com and.net. Also find them in the May edition, I should say, of Playboy. And on the cover, they'll be the two blondes that look the same or alike. And that's because they're twins. And as we know, the best looking chicks are in May because that's my birthday. And that has, that is, there's some relevance. And as a matter of fact, just to make sure that a tradition, that rich tradition of the best looking women being in May stays alive, Hef, I'd like to come by. Now I know you don't pick the girls out in May. I'd probably swing by, what, March? February? Start recording. And I know that Hef does not have an office because I've seen editions of Playboy where they showed the process. He spreads out on that big round bed of his and his PJs. Ironically enough, he wears bib overalls and boots when he sleeps. That's what people don't know about Hef. He wears the PJs when he's out and about, but when he sleeps, he sleeps in waders and a straw hat and a flannel shirt. And he spreads himself out on this big round bed and he gets his jewelers loop out, the one I used to find my penis.

1:32:29 Guest Same divide.

1:32:31 Adam And he looks at the slides of all the potential playmates. I would like, like I said, now how much lead time do you need? Like when you're looking at potential playmates tomorrow, what issue or what month would you be looking at?

1:32:48 Guest Well, we can be working as much as six months ahead, but we usually have about three issues in the works at the same time.

1:32:56 Adam Right. So you're, I'm reading between the lines. You're saying I may have to come by November, December to pick out my May playmate or help you make that selection process.

1:33:08 Guest Probably yes. Yeah.

1:33:09 Adam Okay. All right. So clear your calendar, Adam. Yeah. I'll clear my calendar in November and I'll come by. All right. All right.

1:33:17 Guest Let's go.

1:33:18 Adam Should I bring some beer or something? Are you guys pretty well stocked?

1:33:21 Guest Pretty well stocked.

1:33:23 Adam You got a fridge, you know?

1:33:24 Guest Yeah.

1:33:25 Adam Oh, all righty then. That usually brings a cooler, but if you got power running to the mansion now? I got a fridge. Okay. All right.

1:33:33 Guest Good enough.

1:33:34 Adam I'll just bring some snacks, something like that. Yeah.

1:33:38 Guest Two calls a second. Daniel.

1:33:40 Guest Yeah.

1:33:41 Adam You're seventeen. What's up?

1:33:43 Caller Well, I got a problem.

1:33:45 Guest Well, I think I got a problem.

1:33:47 Guest Yeah.

1:33:48 Caller It seems like I can't sleep unless I masturbate.

1:33:51 Adam All righty then. I hypothetically have that problem, too, although I've never actually tested it. Nope. Always masturbate before I go to bed, so I don't know what would happen if I didn't, but I'd imagine I wouldn't sleep.

1:34:04 Guest All right, Daniel.

1:34:05 Adam There you go, Daniel.

1:34:06 Caller All right.

1:34:07 Caller I got another question. Yeah.

1:34:12 Caller My best friend for like four years, she's always been there to talk to and things like that, and I just...

1:34:21 Adam All right. Okay. May I ask you before I go to bed?

1:34:26 Yes.

1:34:26 Adam You're 25.

1:34:27 Caller Yes, I am.

1:34:28 Adam You know what? I love the rule of radio, which is the more you want somebody to spit out their question, the slower they get.

1:34:34 Guest All right, Deborah. Real quick.

1:34:35 Caller Hi. A girl from the mine and her husband had watched a show that they had seen where they removed a skull from a person that had smoked marijuana excessively and there was resin on the brain.

1:34:47 Guest Well, it's not resin. They don't know what it is. But if you look at electron micrographs of people smoking a lot of pot, then this cell membrane of the neurons actually have this layer of some substance and no one has identified exactly what it is. And it's what contributes obviously to the dysfunction of the brain associated with using this.

1:35:05 Adam If you ate 10 Abba Zabba bars every day, they'd find peanut butter on your brain if you did it for 30 years.

1:35:10 Guest No, this is a very strange chemical matrix that appears.

1:35:14 Adam I'm fine with that.

1:35:16 Caller I asked you a question, produced for that. Lately I've been having a numbness on the top of my head and shooting pain up the back of my skull. And I thought maybe, my sister said it could be a pinched nerve.

1:35:32 Guest Yep, yep.

1:35:33 Caller Does it have anything to do with that?

1:35:34 Guest With pot?

1:35:35 Caller Yes.

1:35:35 Adam Yes, you're growing a bong inside your skull.

1:35:38 Guest It sounds more like a neck problem.

1:35:40 Adam That's what I love. Listen, everybody, this is the danger of getting high and watching the Discovery Channel. You think all this stuff is you. You're 25 years old, you smoked a joint in a half in your life and you figure that headache must be resins growing on your frontal lobe. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. I want to apologize to Ahep for the stupidity of our collars. I'm going to kiss his ass just a little more because we got the compilation show to shoot from the mansion. It's great PR by the way. And we'll be back after this.

1:36:15 Guest Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:36:19 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:36:55 Adam Well, that's it. Another show in the ground.

1:37:01 Guest If you're gonna find some way out of here besides that door, Adam's not letting you go.

1:37:05 Adam Just strapped myself to the hood of the car, like a deer that had a shot. I ruined the trunk. Back to the mansion. All right, I wanna thank Hugh Hefner, or as I call him now, Hef for showing up and bringing the beautiful Mandy and Sandy, the Bentley Twins. It was an honor to spend time with Hef and a surprise. I didn't know you're gonna be in here. And of course, I would love to give the website out one more time. And again, it will not be up for one week. www.bentleytwins.com and.net and look for them on the cover of the May Playboy edition. Thank you very much, ladies and gents. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Ha ha.

1:37:54 Guest Well, now.

1:37:55 Caller This has been Loveline. The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, the management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Tuesday, March 28, 2000