Episode 1000754887595

2:35 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

2:37 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

2:41 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

2:43 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:45 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:48 Voiceover Loveline.

2:49 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest will be the Bloodhound Gang. Jimmy Popp and Lupus Thunder are both going to come in here for the Bloodhound Gang. They should be in here momentarily. They're at a gig or working on something or doing something. I was told they're going to be a couple of minutes late, but it will just be a couple of minutes, God willing. So until then, we'll hop on the phones. David?

3:21 Yeah.

3:22 Adam You're 16. What's up?

3:25 Caller Well, I have a best friend. We've been best friends for a couple of years now, and he has a girlfriend and we've been giving each other blowjobs for six months.

3:37 Adam You and the best friend?

3:38 Caller Yeah. He has a girlfriend and he's been with her for two years already.

3:41 Drew Are you gay?

3:42 Caller I'm bisexual.

3:44 Drew Evidently, he is too, right?

3:46 Caller Yeah.

3:47 Drew Do you have a girlfriend?

3:48 Caller No.

3:49 Adam Wow. This guy really is, at least his friend is really living that bisexual lifestyle. Yeah. How old is he?

3:57 Caller He's 17.

3:58 Adam Oh, man. His penis is getting a lot of attention for a 17-year-old. And he's having sex with his girlfriend, I guess, right?

4:05 Caller I guess so. I don't know.

4:07 Adam Well, now, if he's your best friend and you're giving him oral sex and you're bi or probably gay, sort of seems like you might like him.

4:17 Caller Well, I don't know.

4:18 Drew What do you think?

4:19 Adam Wouldn't you think so?

4:19 Drew What do you think?

4:22 Caller I don't know.

4:23 Adam I mean, for me to blow guy, I'd really have to like him. I mean, it'd be more than just a sort of passing affection or mutual respect. I'd really have to dig that guy a lot.

4:34 Drew Do you?

4:35 Caller Well, I don't know. I'll give anybody a blow job.

4:37 Adam Oh, really?

4:38 Yeah.

4:39 Adam What city are you living in?

4:41 I'm in El Monte.

4:43 Drew El Monte.

4:44 Adam El Monte?

4:44 Yeah.

4:45 Drew 35 minutes, Adam.

4:46 Adam Well, I got to do the show, but I think I can get my penis out there. My penis now has its learner's permit. It can drive if there's someone with a valid California driver's license over the age 18 with it. So maybe I can send a dars out there with my penis, although I don't really trust her. She'd probably take it to a Circle Cane, trade it for a bag of chips or something. Yeah. It wouldn't be one of those big bags either. All right. You know how it is, falls on the floor, rolls around, then gets thrown out when the guy vacuums out the car at the car wash.

5:20 Drew Well, David, you're in a messy situation. You clearly just sound like a confused guy. You don't know if you like the guy. You don't know what. You don't know this. You don't know that. What should I do? You're engaged in a relationship with a guy that you probably like. Your question was, should you tell the girlfriend, which is a way to end that relationship so you have the guy to yourself. Total chaos. Who knows what the other guy is all about. You need to slow down and maybe find some more monogamous relationships. Don't get involved between him and his girlfriend.

5:48 Adam That's already a mess. I predict he's going to find a way to get the news to the girlfriend. Were you planning on that, David?

5:55 Caller Well, he said that he still wanted to be with his girlfriend and be with me at the same time.

5:59 Adam I know, but you don't like that plan and I'm wondering if you're going to try to sort of Tell the girlfriend. Tell the girlfriend so she breaks up with him.

6:07 Caller No, not really because I'm like best friends with the girlfriend too, so.

6:10 Drew Well, then why are you asking the question?

6:13 Caller Well, I don't know. I just want to know. I don't know.

6:16 Adam You don't know?

6:17 Caller No.

6:17 Drew You don't know. You're confused and we get that.

6:19 Caller Yeah.

6:20 Adam Is he giving you oral sex too?

6:22 Caller Yeah.

6:22 Adam Oh, that's nice. All right. Hey, David.

6:25 Caller Yeah.

6:25 Adam Yeah. You're 16. You're a little chaotic. Just slow down.

6:30 Caller Okay.

6:31 Adam This guy's got a girlfriend. He's your best friend. It just sounds like trouble. But on the other hand, Drew, you think you could stop a 16 and 17 year old male who were best buddies, who were spending time together, who were both bi or gay and bi or whatever, from giving each other a hummer after it's already been established.

6:51 Drew Two 17 year old males. Just think about the force of nature.

6:54 Adam Think about that.

6:54 Drew Yeah.

6:55 Adam Do you know what I'm saying?

6:56 Drew Yeah. Forget it.

6:57 Adam Forget it. I mean, the only thing that would ever stop a male is a female.

7:03 Drew Yeah. The only reason 17 year old males go to school.

7:05 Adam That's true. Yeah. I don't think this is ever going to stop. He's going to tell the girlfriend. He'll figure out a way to do it.

7:10 Drew The girls say no. So we guys have some energy to do something else.

7:13 Adam Robin?

7:14 Caller Yeah, hi.

7:15 Adam What's up? You have 20.

7:17 Caller Excuse me for being nervous. But I was wondering if you can get hepatitis C from sharing a cigarette with somebody that is infected with hepatitis C?

7:27 Drew The simple answer is no.

7:29 Caller No?

7:29 Drew No.

7:30 Adam What about A or B?

7:32 Caller OK, yeah, because I've called a couple of clinics here in my hometown. And they're like, well, yeah, you can.

7:39 Drew Well, you can get B that way and you can get A that way, possibly, but.

7:43 Adam Yeah, but not C?

7:45 Drew Well, C is the same as HIV. And how many cases of HIV have been caused by sharing a cigarette? Zero.

7:52 Adam Yes, but we all have a chance of doing it that way every day.

7:55 Drew Yeah, and they're right. And there's a even debate about whether hepatitis C can be transmitted sexually. I happen to believe it can be.

8:02 Adam All right, but A and B you can do with a cigarette, with saliva.

8:06 Drew A certainly and B maybe.

8:08 Adam But it's not as easy as doing it like a cold with a cigarette, is it?

8:12 Drew No. A, A.

8:14 Adam A is?

8:15 Drew Yeah.

8:15 Adam All right. All right, Fonzie.

8:18 Robert?

8:19 Yeah.

8:19 Adam You're 19.

8:20 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

8:21 Adam What's up?

8:24 Drew Robert?

8:25 Caller Yeah.

8:25 Drew Go. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you're still saying yeah.

8:31 Adam I have to give the speech every night, you idiots, about being on the radio. It's like you're on the radio, you idiots. What do you think? It's like, are we on a long bus ride or something, and it's dark, and one of us is falling asleep, the other one's trying to have a conversation, and we're on the goddamn radio.

8:55 No.

8:56 Adam Michelle?

8:57 Yeah.

8:58 Adam You're 19. What's up?

9:00 Caller Okay. About nine months ago, I started taking birth control pills, and then when I got married, me and my husband decided that we wanted to try to have a baby. Sure.

9:11 Adam We're not getting any younger.

9:13 Drew And what?

9:14 Caller In September, I stopped taking birth control pills, and I haven't had a period since the end of October of last year.

9:24 Drew Of 99, right?

9:25 Caller And so I took in about three or four different home pregnancy tests, and they both went up negative. And I also went into the baby clinic, and they gave me a urine test, and they said it came up negative, but I haven't had a period or anything since then.

9:39 Drew Well, how about seeing the gynecologist?

9:42 Caller I haven't yet.

9:42 Drew Okay. That's where you need to go. You need to reestablish your normal cycling.

9:46 Adam I could get it started.

9:47 Drew Which is not a big deal.

9:49 Caller Well, I want to try to get pregnant though. I don't want to be on birth control.

9:52 Drew That's fine. But you need to have your thyroid checked, have other things checked to see if there's anything contributing, and see if you have cystic or ovaries.

9:59 Adam You got to get your cycling going to get pregnant though, don't you?

10:02 Drew That's right. So they'll do that for you.

10:03 Adam Hey, Michelle, why are you so anxious to get pregnant at 19?

10:07 Caller Because I want to be.

10:09 Adam Okay, hold on, let me write that down. Because you want to be. Yeah. All right. Another good answer. What's your husband do?

10:19 Caller He's a security guard.

10:20 Adam Oh, very lucrative. I mean, we got to be talking into the high single figures an hour, right? Talking what? $8, $9 an hour?

10:32 Caller Yeah.

10:32 Adam Nice. Yeah. I hope you guys have triplets, that kind of income. Why don't you guys wait a couple of years, let them get a nice promotion or something. You know what I'm saying?

10:46 Caller It's not that we can't afford to have a baby.

10:48 Adam Yeah. I know you kind of can't afford to have a baby. I mean, you're pretty, times are pretty tight as it is. You don't have a lot of extra income, do you?

10:58 Caller Yeah, we do.

10:59 Adam You do?

11:00 Caller We're always going out places. He's took me like everywhere you can think of.

11:04 Adam All right. But listen, someone who says, Token, shouldn't be having kids, your bad grammar influence on the youngins. Yeah, he takes you out to the Red Lobster twice a month. That doesn't mean he has a ton of income to burn.

11:20 Drew You don't really understand how much a child costs.

11:22 Adam Hey, Michelle.

11:23 Drew Yeah?

11:23 Adam Just give it a little, you know what? Here's what I'm saying to you, Michelle. When you're 22, 23, you'll look back at yourself at 19 and go, man, I was a kid.

11:34 Drew I almost got tooken.

11:35 Adam I almost got tooken there for a minute.

11:37 Caller No, I'm not a kid. I grew up real quick, too quick.

11:40 Adam Oh, that's what we're worried about. That's right.

11:44 Caller My mom has Huntington's disease and I had to raise myself and my little brother.

11:49 Adam Right.

11:49 Drew Both of you have been checked for it?

11:51 Caller No, not yet. It cost us to go get checked.

11:55 Drew Michelle, another thing you need to do.

11:56 Adam Wait a minute. It cost too much. You're made of money.

11:58 Drew Another thing you need to do, Michelle, is genetic counseling here, right?

12:01 Caller Huh?

12:01 Drew You need to get some genetic counseling. You need to go to... Do you live near a university?

12:06 Adam That's a big place where people in their early 20s go to learn?

12:11 Caller Yeah, no kidding.

12:12 Adam Oh, okay. I didn't know.

12:14 Drew Do you live near a university hospital? Okay. Go to a teaching hospital. And you need to get tested to see why you're not cycling normally. You need to get your cycling going. Although, maybe I'm...

12:26 Adam No.

12:27 Drew And then you need to get tested.

12:28 Adam Hold on a second. Let me revise Drew's advice. Stay the course. No. Hey, listen, Michelle.

12:34 Drew You need to be tested for honey tins.

12:36 Adam Listen, you don't have enough money to get tested for a disease you may possibly have. How do you have enough money to raise a kid?

12:42 Caller Because we do.

12:44 Adam Okay. Let me write that one down. Because... What was that? Because we do? Hey, Michelle, this is the last words I'm going to say to you. You got robbed of a childhood. You ain't going to get that childhood back by having a child when you're not prepared to have a child. All right? I said my piece. I'm 100% right.

13:03 Drew Go to the hospital.

13:04 Adam But go get yourself knocked up in behind the eight ball. And then have another kid. All right? Have fun. Right behind the eight ball. Kids crying all night. Your husband could get laid off any second. He's making eight bucks an hour.

13:19 Drew Come on. And she may care of the gene for Huntington's.

13:21 Adam And you may pass on a disease to your child. So just slow down a little, would you, sister? All right. Well, no, don't worry. You got a mission. See, part of being stupid is having a mission.

13:35 Drew Well, not listening, not taking direction from anybody.

13:38 Adam That's right. That's right. And you know, you know, the real hallmark of being stupid, not knowing you're stupid. You show me a guy who admits he's stupid. I immediately upgrade him from stupid to average. It's being real pigheaded, giving answers like, because I want to, because he took me out everywhere. Being taken out everywhere. Right. Having plenty of money to raise a kid and then saying, I haven't been tested for Huntington's because I don't have the money.

14:08 Drew Huntington's disease, by the way, is awful.

14:12 Adam Obviously killed her mom. So it can't be that great.

14:14 Drew Young adult progressive degenerative neurologic disease. It is awful.

14:18 Adam Your mom was killed of it. Shouldn't you be tested for it? And you want to have kids? Oh, wait till I get in power, Drew. She'd be the first one to get the dart. Dustin?

14:27 Yeah.

14:27 Adam You're 17.

14:28 Caller Yeah.

14:29 Adam What's up?

14:30 First, I want to say, Adam, you're a god. And Drew, you're brilliant. And I admit I'm stupid.

14:34 Adam All right. You're up to average. You want to keep going? I'll get you an amens. You keep going. But that's kind of self-deprecation.

14:42 Drew Next, I want to hear that you're lame.

14:45 Caller All right. About three days ago, my 14-year-old sister told me she was raped. And she won't tell me who because she knows that if she tells me, I'll kill him.

14:56 Drew Did she tell you what happened?

14:58 Caller Not really.

14:59 Drew It was like a date rape?

15:01 Caller Sort of, yeah. I have a feeling. I mean, she hangs out with a lot of my friends, and I told her not to. That's bad. I have a feeling it was one of my friends. And so she knows what I do. I'm not as much worried as what I would do, but finding help for her.

15:16 Drew All right, okay.

15:17 Caller I'm kind of curious on how to do that.

15:20 Drew When did this happen?

15:22 Caller She said last week.

15:23 Drew Typically, what you want to do is collect information, collect evidence. So she would go to an emergency room or a doctor or someplace they can do a forensic examination.

15:33 Adam Well, Dustin, do you get the feeling that this was a situation where it was like a boyfriend of hers or a guy she knew got drunk at a party kind of thing or was this, you know, a violent rape?

15:47 Caller Um, I think it might be a little bit of both.

15:52 Drew The guy had a knife or something?

15:54 Caller No, more like overpowered.

15:56 Adam Well, what did she say and like what kind of condition was she in when she told you? Was she crying?

16:03 Caller Yeah, she was really upset. She doesn't drink or anything, so I don't think, I mean...

16:07 Adam And you didn't, did you get the feeling this was some guy she knew?

16:11 Caller Yeah, yeah.

16:14 Adam And she doesn't seem to want to press charges?

16:18 Caller No, because we live in a really small community.

16:20 Drew But that's the other part, is telling the police. Yeah. And then beyond that is getting her some sort of counseling for the problem.

16:27 Adam Well, if she's not gonna tell Dustin who did it, because she fears his revenge, why don't... So don't pursue that with her, especially now if she's not ready to talk about it. Why don't you just pursue the counseling?

16:42 Okay.

16:43 Adam She needs to get some counseling, not only for this, but so it doesn't happen again.

16:47 Drew Women's groups, rape counseling, individual therapy, these things need to be explored with her. A women's group, in my experience, is extremely helpful with this kind of an experience.

16:59 Adam Brian?

17:00 Yeah?

17:01 Adam You're 14. What's up?

17:03 Caller All right. My girlfriend was giving me a bloodhound the other night.

17:07 Adam Who was?

17:08 Caller What?

17:08 Adam A parent, did you say?

17:10 Caller My girlfriend.

17:11 Adam Your girlfriend's parents?

17:12 Caller No.

17:13 Adam Your girlfriend?

17:13 Caller Yeah. And I couldn't come and she got mad at me.

17:19 Adam 14, for Christ's sake. 14.

17:22 Caller Yeah.

17:24 Adam I couldn't get my penis into a corpse's mouth at 14. You understand? If I found a head in a dumpster, I wouldn't be able to do anything to it. Lord knows I tried.

17:35 Caller Well, um, well, my- her brother was getting me right home and I was totally limp and I just started coming all over myself.

17:42 Adam Gay. Yeah.

17:45 Caller And, like, why would that happen?

17:47 Drew Your penis was limp?

17:49 Caller Yeah, like, I was, like, totally not erect and I just started, like, coming all over myself.

17:52 Adam But it came out, you didn't have an orgasm sensation, did you?

17:57 Caller No. I just, like, it was, like, really embarrassing. I didn't tell anybody, but, like, I took my pants and I came home and it was, like, nasty.

18:03 Adam Yeah, so she gave you oral sex for a little while, though, right?

18:07 Caller Well, yeah, and, like, she got all pissed off at me because I wouldn't come or anything and I had, like, no orgasm.

18:12 Adam How old is she? Pissed off? He's not having an orgasm. She ain't Jewish, I'll tell you that. She's not Jewish, is she?

18:22 Caller Oh, well, I'm Jewish. I don't know if she is.

18:24 Adam Son of a bitch. There's a Bar Mitzvah. Did you have a Bar Mitzvah?

18:30 Caller Yeah.

18:31 Adam Nice. Yeah, that's good. Hey, what was the theme of your Bar Mitzvah?

18:37 Caller Huh?

18:37 Adam What was your Bar Mitzvah theme?

18:40 What do you mean?

18:41 Adam They have, you know what a theme is?

18:43 Caller Um, no.

18:44 Adam Um, a style, like a, um.

18:47 Caller Well, like, we had to light those candles and stuff.

18:50 Adam Uh-huh, so you had a candle theme.

18:51 Caller But we like, we didn't have a, like a rabbi there was kind of like a nun. Because we're Jewish, but we're not that.

18:58 Drew Just raising a president.

18:58 Adam You just want to, you want to get a few bucks for college.

19:01 Caller Yeah.

19:02 Adam That was smart. Listen, I'm going to do that with my kid. It's going to be like, yeah, come down and help celebrate my son's Bar Mitzvah and bring some money orders and checks and things like that for his college. And then meanwhile, you show up and the kid, the kid's just sort of standing around in a pair of jeans. There's no, you got a six-foot sub. There's no rabbi. Just drop the money off and then spin a few records and pack it up. Kid goes to college. All right, there's nothing wrong with him. This is 14-year-old stuff. All bets are off with the penis at 14. You got the oral sex.

19:35 Drew Over-stimulated, you've sprung a leak basically.

19:38 Adam You know what's funny?

19:38 Drew The seminal vesicles finally couldn't handle it anymore. What?

19:41 Adam Jewish guys don't get sex as early as goyim. They really don't. They just don't. I don't know who devised that. It just doesn't seem to work that way. Now, it was funny because when he said he was Jewish, I was like, whoa, Jewish guy getting a BJ at 14. And then he said, we're not really that into it. And I started to think, yeah, all right, now that makes more sense. If you're more into it, he wouldn't have gotten it. If the rabbi was at the bar mitzvah, he wouldn't have got the BJ. That's what I'm saying.

20:12 Drew All right.

20:12 Adam Or maybe he's one of those commando Jews I speak of.

20:14 Drew Oh, yeah, that's right. We talked to one of those guys.

20:16 Adam Yes, I've separated Jews into two categories, Jewish males, super wussy Jew, super commando Jew, no in between. The nebbish guy with the glasses who's carrying the briefcase and the nappy hair parted over to one side, or the guy with the constant three days worth of growth, and the knife with the thumb hole in it that's serrated on one side.

20:42 Drew Wearing fatigues, army fatigues.

20:44 Adam Wearing fatigues. And boots. And learning that style of combat fighting where you go for the pressure points and kill people. You gouge the eyes and that kind of stuff. Those are the two Jews. Billy? Hello? You're 20, what's up?

21:00 Caller Hi, I'm wondering if it's normal to have a stinging sensation when you take a pee after sex. I notice it happens like all the time.

21:12 Drew Of course, everybody experiences that, right?

21:14 Adam Yep. All of God's creatures. It's God's punishment for having sex.

21:17 Drew Billy, that's a sign of a sexually transmitted disease. That's it, Billy. That's urethritis.

21:26 Caller I've heard other people mention of it too, like females too.

21:31 Drew This is what we were talking about, right?

21:32 Adam All right.

21:32 Drew You can argue with me about that.

21:33 Adam Well, Billy, you're right. You're absolutely right. The doctor's wrong. You smoke a kilo of weed a week and you're still living at home, and you're right, buddy. You're a genius. You are so right. You have a ninth grade education. You scrape your bong with a extended wire coat hanger and you watch A-Team reruns. But you're right. You're absolutely right. As a matter of fact, let me just revise it. Stinging in the penis is not natural for everybody except you. For you, it's natural.

22:11 Caller I mean, doesn't it happen to like you too?

22:14 Adam Nope. But I'm not you and this is only right for you.

22:18 Caller Come on.

22:19 Drew Billy.

22:19 Adam How much weed do you smoke, Billy?

22:22 Caller I smoke a little weed.

22:24 Adam A little weed.

22:25 Drew A little in the morning, a little at night, a little in the afternoon.

22:28 Adam What about brunch?

22:29 Caller Once a day, if I'm lucky or something.

22:31 Adam Once a day.

22:32 Caller Pack a little bowl or something. But I mean, I don't mean like fiery, crazy stinging sensation where I just can't take it.

22:40 Drew Well, Billy, it's urethritis and that is a sign of asexually transmitted disease. It may not be. Maybe it's just an inflammatory urethritis or some other sort of infection. But it must be checked out. In the meantime, you're passing this around to people. It could be chlamydia, gonorrhea, it could be anything.

22:55 Caller And what would be the signs?

22:58 Drew Billy, the signs are stinging when you pee. That's the sign of asexually transmitted disease.

23:03 Adam Drew's pissed. Or at least the one you have. Hey Billy?

23:06 Caller Yeah.

23:07 Adam Easy on the weed, brother. You don't know it, but it affects you. You can hear it.

23:12 Caller Oh, I hear some tasty waves, cool buzz, and I'm fine.

23:17 Adam Oh, man. Do I have to give my speech about the dumb guys sliding into the retard zone because of smoking a lot of weed? If you're smart, you smoke all the weed you want. If you're dumb, stay away. I mean, here's the way. Okay, here's what I want to say. Some people have a weight problem. It's a genetic thing. Look at their parents. We all know those people. They're just a little heavy set. They're big around, you know, they have wide hips. They got jowls under their chin, you know, a double chin. They're just, they're bigger people. And then there's guys we know, they're skinnies or they'll eat whatever they want. They live off of White Castle burgers. They never do an ounce of exercise and they never get fat. Those guys can eat all they want. But you people that have a little sort of genetic predisposition to having a weight problem, you got to count your calories. You got to exercise. You got to be careful. This is the analogy that I want to use with the stupid people in the drugs. Some people are geniuses and like I said, Timothy Leary, some Harvard doctors got 180 IQ. Hey, he can experiment. Even him, it's going to catch up to eventually. But I don't care if he experiments. I don't care if the late Carl Sagan wanted to smoke a little weed once in a while. But you guys that have the problem, that would be like the fat guys, you got to watch your diet. That's equivalent to not smoking a lot of weed and doing a lot of speed and heroin and all those good hallucinogens because you're already there. You know what I'm saying? No one ever talks about this really. Ever hear people talking about this?

24:58 Drew No.

24:59 Adam And I know it's not popular, but it really, I know guys that are smart guys who smoke a little weed. And it doesn't make a difference in their life. They're already smart.

25:10 Drew The problem is it's not known measurably to affect cognition. It affects motivation.

25:16 Adam Yeah, but it does affect your cognition after a while.

25:20 Drew Probably does.

25:21 Adam I mean, because listen, you talk to guys who have been smoking weed for a while, they're slow, they're dumbed down. I mean, they're like fighters. You talk to a guy who's been in the ring for a long time, he may be an intelligent guy, but he's been slowed down a little, sort of by his profession, by his injuries. And you smoke pot for 10 years, you're slowed down a little. Stupid guys can't smoke pot. You guys got to drink. All right. We're going to bring the Bloodhound Gang in here, and we'll take ourselves a little break, and they'll be in here after this.

26:26 Yep, it's Loveline.

26:27 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Lupus Thunder and Jimmy Pop are both here from The Bloodhound Gang. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. It's just out here in the United States, that is because we're just talking about the band coming back from Germany. What was it? The end of February. And I got a bunch of tour dates and stuff.

26:50 Drew A ton of stuff here, wow.

26:52 Adam Tell you about, but let's talk to the band.

26:55 The Bloodhound Gang How are you?

26:56 Adam Good, thanks for bearing the gifts. They brought gummy condoms from Germany.

27:01 Drew Specifically, flirting and nausea? Surprise.

27:05 The Bloodhound Gang It's funny, it used to be a German skating team. Flirting and nausea.

27:08 Adam You don't think the Germans would have a, I don't think of them as a culture with much of a sense of humor.

27:13 The Bloodhound Gang Right.

27:14 Adam And do they? I've never been to Germany.

27:16 The Bloodhound Gang No? Yeah, they actually, I mean, we do really well there, so they have no sense of humor.

27:22 Adam Well, no, I mean, it's interesting how certain cultures, like the Japanese cultures this way, I've never been there, but I can go ahead and make a good guess, which is they're very uptight and very restrictive about a lot of things, and then they're eating sushi off some virgin and they got some ground up bear pancreas. So it's like, they go this way and then they snap and freak and go the other way.

27:50 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, those are actually pretty strange shows because they all clap right when the song's done and then they just stop. Altogether they have like a three second clap limit and then they stop and it's dead silent.

28:00 Adam You know what is the weirdest thing in the world, speaking of Japanese culture, and then we'll get back to the Bloodhound Gang. I was watching, just a few months ago, I was watching a tape of the Buster Douglas-Tyson fight, where Buster Douglas beats Tyson. And the thing that's almost weird and eerie about watching a tape is, I think it was in Japan, and even though Tyson was like a 30 to 1 favorite, Douglas obviously beats him, I think, in the ninth or tenth round, but it's silence the whole time. Just silence to the point where you don't think anyone's there or that the audio dropped out of the thing. Now picture that in the United States, with Tyson being a 30 to 1 favorite, have some tomato can, that no one's ever heard of, putting a guy who's considered unstoppable on the canvas. I mean, the place would be going great, black guys would be hitting each other with cell phones. Right, no, exactly. Riots in the stands. Yeah, you'd just be rioting. Someone, a rapper would get killed out front. I mean, there'd be gunshots going off. I mean, you didn't hear anything. It was weird, and it was distracting to watch because it was like, oh, Buster Douglas has hurt him. He's wobbled. He hits him with a jab. He's going down. And it's like, shh. Right. Nothing.

29:18 Adam Wow.

29:23 Caller Oh, that was very good.

29:24 Drew And we haven't seen you guys in two years?

29:26 Adam Three years.

29:27 Drew Three years. That's insane.

29:29 Adam That's right. I think we saw you on the TV, right?

29:32 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, and here. And then you both became big stars.

29:35 Adam That's right.

29:36 The Bloodhound Gang You know, we actually tried to use you on our record. We tried to ride your coattails. And on our hidden track, we had a little loveline spot. But I guess the Big Brother wouldn't let us use it. No way. Yeah, it was cool, though.

29:46 Adam Who's Big Brother?

29:47 The Bloodhound Gang I don't know. Yeah, MTV.

29:49 Adam MTV? Oh, that's great. You know, it's so funny. I sit in my office all day and bitch about why people won't let us use their stuff. And then I find out that someone else has done it on my behalf and I'm outraged. I can't believe that.

30:04 Adam Oh.

30:05 The Bloodhound Gang It wasn't us. And I think someone called here and you gave permission. But as it went up, it trickled up.

30:12 Adam You know the thing that drives me insane about this? Because I literally just got out of an office yesterday where I had a big argument with our producers and our legal team about why can't we do this? Why can't we do that? You can't use anyone's product or name or show it, even if it's not in a bad way. You know what I mean? That's the interesting thing about it. I was yelling at everyone, so they sue us for what? What did we say? I mean, you can't just hold it up. You can't use it as an example. And to me, it's like, if you got a company and you've got a product and someone says, hey, we want to show it in our show. We're not saying it's not in a pejorative way. There's nothing bad. We're not going to say anything horrible about it. We just want to show the product. Show it fine. We spent a lot of money on commercials to get it shown. We sponsor race cars to put it on the side of the thing.

31:00 Drew You heard Hugh Hefner the other night.

31:02 Adam I know.

31:04 Drew Hugh Hefner was in here.

31:06 Adam I know. I was trying to get Hef to anyway. So it's a long story. The Bloodhound Gang. Come on. Let's talk about the Bloodhound Gang. I think we should hear something off the CD. I think we've been sampling our...

31:18 Drew Translation. Adam S2P.

31:19 Adam No, that is not true. But what do they call that thing when we come back from the commercial?

31:26 Drew Intro?

31:27 Adam Outro? What riff have we been hearing? I didn't even know. Bumper.

31:31 Yeah, this one is Bad Touch.

31:33 Adam Oh, it is? Oh, good. I love this song. All right. So let's hear this. All right. You're cued up there, Anderson. This is off of Hooray for Boobies. It's the Bloodhound Gang and this is the Bad Touch. That would be the bad touch off of Hooray for Boobies. The Bloodhound Gang is our guest tonight. It's been way too long. We like these guys. We haven't seen them in a while. We're glad they're back. I'm going to give you some places you can find the Bloodhound Gang. They have a tour coming up with a Nerf Herder, some other guys who haven't seen in a while. It's been two and a half, three years. It's been two and a half, three years, yeah. They'll be in Tampa, Florida on the 15th of April. The 18th will be in Georgia, Atlanta. The 21st will be in Boston. 22nd, New York. 29th, Washington, DC. Cincinnati on May 6th. On the 13th, Minneapolis. Denver on the 16th. 22nd, they'll be in Phoenix. Then back in Los Angeles on the 23rd at the Palace, which is a good place to see a show. That is of May, yes.

36:40 Drew May.

36:40 Adam Why?

36:42 Drew Because I'm looking at a bunch of April dates too that are in the 20s.

36:45 Adam Well, do you have them? Does it make my list? There are going to be more places than this, but these are the places where we're heard, so why tell people who can't hear us that they're coming? And would they know it? Good thinking. Yeah. So again, they're coming to a town near you if not your own, so look out for the Bloodhound Gang. Eric?

37:05 Yeah.

37:05 Adam You're 28. What's up?

37:07 Caller Oh, well, this is kind of embarrassing, you know? I don't know if it's more of a glandular problem, a hormone problem or whatnot, but I kind of like have these breath problems.

37:20 Caller Nice rack.

37:22 Adam Are you overweight?

37:24 Caller Well, you know, I had to consider myself that way, but you know, it seems that way. I mean, I weigh about 230 or so.

37:33 Drew How tall are you?

37:34 Caller About 5'8, but I work out a lot also.

37:38 Adam You work out a lot.

37:39 Drew You don't take steroids or anything like that, do you?

37:41 Caller Well, see, now that's a problem. Back in maybe early 90s or so, I've done a cycle of them, but I mean, I've stopped.

37:49 Drew Did your breasts grow then?

37:52 Caller Um, I couldn't really tell because they were there anyway, you know?

37:56 Adam I mean, you always had the thing, the gynecomastia, is that what it's called, Drew?

38:00 Drew Gynecomastia, yeah.

38:03 Adam Well, you always had that?

38:05 Caller Well, it seems that way, yeah.

38:06 Drew Do you smoke a lot of pot?

38:08 Caller Do what?

38:08 Drew Smoke a lot of pot?

38:10 Caller No, I don't smoke at all.

38:11 Adam What's your cup size?

38:13 Caller Oh, come on now.

38:14 Adam Well, I want to know if you put out on the first day.

38:16 Drew Do you take any medication?

38:18 Caller No.

38:18 Drew None? No. Not even over-the-counter stuff like Tagomat?

38:23 Caller No. What I was thinking about, I don't know if I went on a weight reduction program or maybe if I was to do something. You know what I'm saying?

38:33 Adam Well, here's the deal, Eric. You said you're 5'8, 5'8, 230.

38:38 Caller Yeah.

38:39 Adam And you're probably a big bone guy with a pretty good build on it, but you could still definitely get yourself down at 200 pounds. I mean, at 5'8. No problem. I mean, 5'8, 200, still a pretty stocky dude.

38:51 Caller Yeah. But I don't want to be 5'8, pretty stocky with, you know.

38:55 Adam With brass.

38:56 Caller Yeah.

38:56 Adam Right. Yeah. But here's the deal, Eric. I bet you if you got down to 200, you'd lose those brass.

39:05 Drew And if not, if it's really truly glandular tissue that has grown, that needs to be evaluated. And there are plastic procedures that can be done to reduce that in nails.

39:13 Adam But definitely lose that weight. I mean, how many thin guys with brass do you see?

39:18 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, I had lupus and I had man boobs. And we're not upset about it.

39:28 Adam Man boobs are girl boobs on men.

39:30 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah. But if you look, let me pull my shirt down. Can you see we'd?

39:35 Adam You got a little something going there. But that's all right. You guys are in a band.

39:38 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, that's right.

39:39 Drew Those are called buds.

39:43 Really? It's a good thing I don't smoke.

39:47 Adam Really? Where did you get the breast then?

39:51 The Bloodhound Gang Eating. There's two of us. We were just ordered like what? Six big fat chicken tacos.

39:56 Adam Oh, okay. Good. I got in on that one too. Sam? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We got to take a break. Yeah. Hold on, Sam. That's a breast for a guy is a rough deal. I mean, you guys are kidding. I mean, listen, it's not that you couldn't do a few pushups, but I mean, that ain't what this guy was talking about. This guy was talking about breast.

40:21 The Bloodhound Gang But if he took steroids and he...

40:23 Drew That could have done it.

40:24 The Bloodhound Gang But he was saying that he had them before that, right?

40:27 Drew Yep.

40:27 The Bloodhound Gang So when he did the steroids, he didn't bulk up there. He was still flabby.

40:31 Adam I'm guessing.

40:32 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah.

40:32 Adam Oh, listen, 230 and 5'8, you could shed a few pounds. Absolutely. All right. We're going to take a little break. What was Sam's problem?

40:40 Drew Sam was raped by the mailman.

40:42 Adam Oh, really?

40:43 Drew He was 13.

40:44 Adam Hold on. Sam?

40:47 Yeah?

40:48 Adam Yeah. You got raped by the mailman?

40:49 My name is not Sam. It's Van. They didn't say it right.

40:52 Drew Van.

40:53 Adam Wait a minute. How do you spell it?

40:55 V-A-N.

40:55 Adam Oh, Van.

40:56 Yeah.

40:57 Adam OK. Yeah. You were raped by the mailman?

40:59 Yeah. You know how he always delivers the mail?

41:02 Adam Yeah.

41:02 And he delivers the mail.

41:04 Adam No kidding. Oh, wow. Empty to sack, huh? All right. Hold on a second there, Van.

41:10 Drew It doesn't have to be a whole riff of comedy about mailman. Let's get to this guy's problem.

41:13 Adam I know. All right. Neither sleet, no storm or snow.

41:20 Drew At least put him on hold before you go off on this.

41:21 Adam Hold on a second, Sam.

41:22 Drew Van.

41:23 Adam Van. Van. Well, you know the problem is, is he pronounces Van, Van.

41:27 Drew Yeah.

41:28 Adam Let me ask that again. How do you pronounce your name?

41:31 C-A-N.

41:31 Drew Say it.

41:32 Van.

41:33 Drew Sounds like Van.

41:34 Adam Sounds like you're saying Van.

41:35 It doesn't matter. I don't care.

41:37 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Only our, we have the only listeners in the world who say, how do you pronounce your name? And they spell it. B-A-N. Okay. All right. Bloodhound Gang is here. For some reason, I don't feel as sorry for Van as I should.

41:53 Drew Well, he's probably pretty angry about what happened.

41:55 Adam All right. We're going to have to talk to him. I was raped by the Avon later. That's the story I'm going to get into later on in the evening. And then we'll come back and we'll get to Van and his rape by the mailman story after this.

42:06 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

42:10 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. It's Loveline and Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. Lupus and Jimmy are both here from The Bloodhound Gang. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. And thank God someone had the courage to use that title because that is a fantabulous notion. Thank you. We'll hear something else off the CD as the night wears on, but first we'll get back to the phones. We'll speak to Van, who pronounces his name, and he's 13.

43:14 Caller Yeah.

43:14 Drew So, Van, how did this happen? What happened?

43:16 Caller Well, like, the mailman, you know, we feel like he knows who we are. And one day I was home by myself and I went to go pick up a mail from the mailbox when he dropped it off. And I guess he just realized I was alone and he came in.

43:31 Drew He came in with a, like, violently or?

43:34 Caller No, he just came in and it was weird.

43:37 Adam Yeah, but how did he just come in? Did he just walk in the front door? He just opened it? The front door was unlocked?

43:44 Caller Because I went out the front door to get the mail.

43:46 Drew Why did you let him in?

43:47 Caller Because I couldn't have pushed him back.

43:50 Drew So he came in violently?

43:51 Caller Yeah.

43:52 Drew He pushed his way in?

43:53 Caller Not like pushing, like he came in. But I wasn't about to push him back.

43:57 Drew Okay, so he scared you?

43:59 Caller Yeah.

44:01 Drew Then how did it go from entering the house to entering you? Oh yeah.

44:07 Adam Just told PS.? Yeah. Yeah, but listen all you prepudess and idiots who call this show. And by the way, I don't want anyone to call this show anymore. I've now had it with all of yous. But if you're going to make up a bogus call, fine. But just make it up, would you?

44:24 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, that wasn't very.

44:25 Adam Yeah, I mean, like it's so uninspired, you know, people call this show with BS. It doesn't happen. They don't get on the air that often. But once in a while they do. And it's like they don't have a story. It's like, why bother? You know what it is? It's like it'd be like the Republican Party is having a fundraiser. You charge the stage and then go, uh, ugh, ugh.

44:49 The Bloodhound Gang Can we at least keep talking and pretend that he's still on and talk about getting raped by the mailman?

44:53 Adam Oh, I wish the mailman raped him. Thank God we made jokes about it. You see, Drew?

44:58 Caller Now that is a dirty little bastard.

45:00 Adam See, you try to get me not to make jokes about serious situations, but then it turns out to be bogus and it's a good thing I got my licks in, right?

45:06 Drew You feel much better then.

45:07 That's right.

45:07 Adam Total vindication. Steve?

45:09 Caller Hey, what's going on?

45:10 Adam You're 14.

45:11 Caller What's up?

45:12 Caller I just got a question for the Bloodhound Gang.

45:13 Caller How did you guys get together?

45:18 The Bloodhound Gang We started out because our bassist needed money. I mean, I think when we started making demos, it was when our bassist needed money for college. He would have these parties that were five kegs, five bands, five dollars. And that's when it really started to gel and take hold.

45:34 Drew So it was in Philadelphia?

45:35 The Bloodhound Gang In Philadelphia.

45:36 Adam How many people would show up?

45:38 The Bloodhound Gang He would fit about 300 people in his house.

45:40 Drew Wait a minute. Did you guys meet at high school or something?

45:43 The Bloodhound Gang I used to work at a mall making Philadelphia cheese steaks, and he would get high and come down with munchies.

45:50 The Bloodhound Gang And then our bassist I made at college.

45:53 Drew Where were you in college?

45:54 The Bloodhound Gang Temple University.

45:56 Adam And did you make good Philly cheese steaks?

45:59 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, we made really good cheese steaks.

46:00 Adam Let me ask you a Philly cheese steak, because my family is from Philadelphia, and Drew and I were out there, I don't know, it was a year ago, you were thrown out the whole time.

46:09 Drew I was just there a couple weeks ago.

46:10 Adam Well, the point is, I tried to get a Philly cheese steak out here from a place that everyone said had a good Philly cheese steak, and everything was good about it, except for they used that white American cheese instead of like a Swiss cheese, or I'm not sure what kind of cheese they should be using.

46:28 The Bloodhound Gang American cheese. Or cheese whiz.

46:34 Adam The cheese didn't seem right on this one, is basically what I'm saying.

46:37 Drew You mean like cheese whiz, you mean Velveeta?

46:39 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, it was interesting because you learned a lot about people when I worked there. Black people like the cheese whiz, white people like the American cheese.

46:48 Adam Interesting.

46:49 The Bloodhound Gang And black people always liked the lemonade, white people got the iced tea.

46:52 Drew But cheese whiz, you don't mean the stuff in the can, you squirt it.

46:54 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, yeah.

46:55 Drew Oh my God.

46:57 The Bloodhound Gang It's not bad, it's good.

46:58 Adam What are the blacks doing to themselves? As if the whole oppression, the slavery and the racism is not bad enough, now they got to put the cheese whiz on their Philly cheese steaks. They're really punishing themselves for no reason now. All right, so.

47:14 Drew Let's take a break.

47:16 Adam The reason I'm laughing is because my buddy, my partner Jimmy called a very trendy Japanese restaurant to make reservations for my other partner doing his black voice today and got the reservations when they told my partner he couldn't have the reservations before. And here's the point I brought up to the boys in the office. And I got to tell you this. I know this is horribly unpopular, but that's why I'm going to say it. Black people and all sorts of people, but especially the blacks, they complain about racism all the time. And it's true. It's out there. Not that many people are racist, but there's a handful of them out there. But here's what you guys don't talk about and you should pay attention to. There's 10% of white people are racist, or 8% or 12% or whatever it is. The other 90% are guilty about the 10% and overcompensate. That's right. Try to be nicer because of the 10% a-hole who's ruining it for the rest of us. I never hear Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson talking about this, but listen to me, you idiots. If I'm walking down the street and a black guy wants money, here you go, brother, sorry about what happened. White guy wants money? Get a job, get a job, you idiot. Get off my back.

48:28 Drew But you say he could make a reservation?

48:30 Adam He made a reservation as a black man.

48:32 Drew That he couldn't make as himself.

48:34 Adam Well, that my clearly white from Vermont, Daniel, tried to make, it was funny, he called in a minute earlier and he was like, the woman was like, you come between five and 10.30, that's it. It was like Nobu, some very upscale Japanese place. And when Jimmy called as a black man, it was like 8.30, okay? It was like, really? Yeah.

48:58 The Bloodhound Gang Oh, did he do the Southern like, now you live here?

49:01 Adam Well, he didn't go with the total like Amos and Andy, but he just went, it's subtle. You knew it was a black guy calling it.

49:07 The Bloodhound Gang Right.

49:07 Adam Or at least a white guy pretending to be a black guy is what it really was. And then we had a conversation about reverse, reverse racism. And all I'm saying is if you're black and you're complaining a lot, I want to hear Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson talk about this every once in a while. There is racist white people, but then there's a whole bunch of other more, way more that feel bad and guilty about what's happened and try harder. Sure.

49:32 Drew Let me understand. Was this guy, the woman making the reservation, a white person pretending to be Japanese?

49:38 Adam I think it was a white man pretending to be a Japanese woman. I'm going to look into it. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.

49:47 The Bloodhound Gang Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

49:49 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

49:53 The Bloodhound Gang We'll be right back.

50:24 Caller All right. It's Loveline.

50:25 Adam We're going to take a quick 10-second affiliate timeout. We'll be back in just 10 seconds.

50:33 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

50:48 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. And I want to give the facts now. Bloodhound Gang is our guest tonight. Jimmy Poppett and Lupus Thunder are both in here. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. And you want to get back on the phones?

51:07 Drew You're still thinking about that movie, I can tell.

51:09 Adam Yeah, we did this movie with Brooke Shields, and that was like four or five months ago, right?

51:14 Drew No, like eight or nine months ago.

51:16 Adam Eight or nine months ago? Well, we didn't really do it with her. Brooke Shields did a movie, and there's a lot of other celebrities in it. It's like a regular movie. Celebrities and budget and lighting and 90 Minutes and all that.

51:28 Drew Budget?

51:28 Adam They put me and Drew in there, and we narrate the thing. And it's interesting. And I ran into Brooke Shields at a Christmas party and she told me how great it was and how much they appreciated. And the tape sat over at William Morris for about five months, and I finally had someone go get it.

51:49 Drew When did you see it? Today?

51:50 Adam I saw it tonight. Yeah, I just got it today. I yelled at... Here's what I don't like about this business.

51:55 Drew Was it any good? Was it any good before we go off?

51:58 Adam The tape was fine. Here's the thing about this business. Agents and managers and all these people. And listen, I don't care if all you idiots are listening to me. Listen to me. A, you work for me. That's number one. Number two, I'm not paying you to do what you want to do. I'm paying you to do everything. And it's what I want you to do. Not what you want to do, what I want you to do. And here's what happens with these agents and managers. They show up at the BS stuff, but they somehow drop the ball when it comes to the nickel and dime stuff. Meaning they show up at Politically Incorrect and eat 40 pounds of fruit salad and rub elbows with all the other idiots that are there. They show up at all. They're there at all the junk. You know how they're there at the stuff you don't want them to be there because it's a good time.

52:47 The Bloodhound Gang Right.

52:48 Adam Oh, yeah, you're going to Vegas for the porn awards. Yeah, I got to be there. It's like, no, you don't.

52:54 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah. Whenever we do a European tour.

52:56 Adam Oh, yeah.

52:57 The Bloodhound Gang You know, they're always in Madrid, but they're never in Warsaw.

52:59 Drew Well, here's Adam.

53:00 Adam But you tell one of these idiots, hey, fix this. Like, hey, they got this picture over on TalkSoup of me and Drew where Drew looks like he's in a wheelchair.

53:10 Drew Looks like Stephen Hawking.

53:12 Adam And it's five years old. Once you get that swapped out with a good picture, that ain't happening. Right. What? There's no fruit salad. Right. There's nothing in it for them. And 15% of what? Nothing. I mean, what? I don't get paid for, no one gets paid for swapping out a picture over there.

53:29 The Bloodhound Gang So now you're saying that you've been begging someone to get you that tape?

53:32 Adam Here's what I'm saying. Yes. William Morris, William Morris is always, they're a little on the ropes with me because they're always assuming, I don't like talking to them that much and I'm always looking like I'm going to quit and go with some other agency or whatever. So they kiss up to me a little bit and that's fine. But what they don't do is send over the goddamn tape of the movie I'm in that's sitting in their office for five months. So I finally called my manager and I yelled at him and actually yelled at Chip because he's a good guy.

53:59 Drew Let me, let me.

53:59 Adam And I said, listen, just go get the tape and stop worrying about what you want to do and start doing what I want you to do.

54:04 Drew Let me at least come to your management. They really are managers. They're managing you. They're not doing just what you want to do. They're managing you and they're more like a business partner than a, than a, than a.

54:14 Adam Oh yeah. Sure, they're business partner. You pay them a ton of money.

54:16 Drew Well, it's a partnership.

54:17 Adam It is a partnership, but here's the deal. You pay them and that means they do everything.

54:22 Drew No, they help you get jobs.

54:23 Adam Stupid publicists you have and all those. Drew, come on, about the picture.

54:28 The Bloodhound Gang So now you have your William Morris agent and then you have your own manager.

54:31 Adam That's right.

54:31 The Bloodhound Gang And how many people does your manager manage?

54:34 Adam Oh, geez, our manager does like Tom Green and Jimmy Kimmel and a few, who that, Charro?

54:43 Drew No. Carson, Carson.

54:45 Adam Oh, Carson Daly, yeah.

54:46 The Bloodhound Gang See, that's your problem. You need a manager that only does, he's Adam. That's what we have. We have a Bloodhound Gang manager.

54:53 Adam Can I get him? Oh, then he'd be Bloodhound and Adam, though.

54:56 The Bloodhound Gang I mean, that's a small camp.

54:57 Drew Then you can tour Germany.

54:58 Adam No, no. That ain't it. They give us plenty of attention, but like I said, it's just it's the fun stuff and they don't like the BS. And I listen, I don't blame them. I'd do the same thing. I'd eat the fruit salad and not go get the picture. But I got to crack the whip every once in a while. That's all true. Drew, you got to crack the whip yourself. That's it. That's why I know I have the Brooks Shields movie and you'll never have it. Never, never, ever. You don't think don't think the fact don't think the fact that we're managed by the same company and that we're both in the movie and that I made a big stink about getting my Brooks Shields movie means you are one a Smurf's ass hair closer to getting the movie yourself.

55:41 Caller You'll not get it.

55:42 Adam And that's the way it works. That is the beauty of this business.

55:45 Drew You're going to laugh like a hyena and withhold it from me.

55:47 Adam I'm not giving it to you.

55:48 Drew That's right.

55:49 Adam You got to go get your management.

55:52 Drew It was a good movie though, right? You enjoyed watching it.

55:53 Adam I fast forwarded through everything but our parts.

55:56 Drew What did they put in about us?

55:58 Adam It's good.

55:58 Drew What the hell are we saying?

55:59 Adam It's funny. I'm witty.

56:01 Drew You know the part where you're screaming at me or cussing at each other?

56:04 Adam No, that's it. That's on the outtakes. That's on the Hearts of Darkness, the making of the Brooks Show. Brandon?

56:12 Caller I can fart on demand.

56:13 Adam Really?

56:14 Caller Yeah, and I had to lie about my question because my screener wouldn't put me through.

56:18 Adam Wait a minute now. Danielle, am I hearing this correctly? Were you discouraging someone who can fart on demand? She's not listening to the show.

56:30 Drew How many people do you need in your stable of?

56:32 Adam Well, I have now two guys and a girl. Brandon?

56:36 Caller Oh, I have an idea too.

56:38 Caller You can start the National Farting and Masturbation Alliance.

56:42 Adam Yeah. How about I just stay home and whack off?

56:45 Drew How bad is your asthma, Brandon?

56:47 Caller Who, me?

56:47 Drew Yeah.

56:48 Caller Yeah, it's real bad because it's like my medicine.

56:51 Caller I haven't got my allergies shot yet.

56:52 Drew Whoa. I mean, you've got to get your inhalers. You're not moving air.

56:56 Caller Yeah, I know.

56:56 Adam Speaking of moving air, though, how about we hear the fart?

57:00 Caller Of course.

57:00 Adam Yeah, I don't care if he dies. I just want a good laugh.

57:03 Caller Hold on.

57:03 Adam All right. No, that was our practice. I'm not buying that one. You don't think so? The guy's got asthma. He can't do that.

57:13 Drew Yeah, I heard those.

57:18 Adam Brandon?

57:19 Caller Yes.

57:20 Adam Now listen, I know enough about the ass to know that the people who can fart on demand have a suck in sound too. It's like the tide rolling in and then pulling back out again. How about you let us hear the suck in part?

57:33 Caller I can do that.

57:34 Adam All right.

57:35 Caller Hold on. Adam again.

57:43 Adam I'm like, I'm the McGruff of the ass. You know what I mean? I called him on that. I know you guys all knew he was he was a fibbing too. But I didn't know. I wanted to hear. And you can always hear the suck in part.

57:57 Drew Now you're questioning Danielle. I can kiss her ass a little bit for having properly screened out a bad call.

58:02 Adam All right.

58:02 Drew Of course, you didn't hear you screaming.

58:03 Adam That's right. Thomas. Thomas.

58:07 Yeah, I'm here.

58:07 Adam You're 12.

58:08 Caller Yeah.

58:09 Adam Where are you calling from?

58:10 Caller Palo Alto.

58:12 Adam Where?

58:13 Caller I just wanted to talk to Bloodhound.

58:14 Drew As Waldo.

58:15 Adam You're calling from As Waldo?

58:17 Caller No, Palo Alto.

58:18 Adam Palo Alto?

58:19 Drew Northern California.

58:20 Caller Yeah.

58:21 Adam Okay.

58:22 Caller I just wanted to talk to the Bloodhound Gang.

58:23 Adam Here they are.

58:24 Caller Adam, you're awesome.

58:25 Caller And so is Dr. Drew.

58:26 Caller Thank you.

58:28 Caller Bloodhound Gang, you guys are great.

58:29 Caller You guys coming up here soon on tour?

58:32 The Bloodhound Gang What was that again?

58:33 Caller Are you guys going to come up to San Jose or something like that soon?

58:36 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, we have a couple tours of America coming up. I don't know if in April and May we're going up there.

58:42 Adam I don't think San Francisco is the closest.

58:45 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, and then we'll be out there in November, too, so I'm sure we'll make our way up there. I don't know if you can come to the show, though, because you're only 12.

58:52 Caller Do you have like explicit concerts now?

58:54 The Bloodhound Gang Again?

58:55 Caller You guys having like explicit concerts or something?

58:58 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, yeah. It's not anywhere a 12-year-old should be.

59:01 Adam No, it's too much. Listen, here's the problem, Thomas. It's too much fun for a 12-year-old. We don't think you guys could handle it.

59:07 The Bloodhound Gang It's 11 o'clock. You should probably be in bed by now.

59:09 Adam Yeah. What grade are you in, Thomas? All right, but you're into the Bloodhound Gang, right?

59:16 Caller Yeah.

59:16 Adam All right, well, you just listen.

59:17 The Bloodhound Gang You just listen, and a couple years, you know, when we do the reunion tour with Loverboy, come on out.

59:23 Caller Yeah, because I know a guy from Europe, because I've been there like a couple times.

59:27 The Bloodhound Gang Oh, you've been to Europe? Oh, well, then you're old enough, then, to come to the show.

59:31 Caller Yeah, you got it.

59:32 The Bloodhound Gang Those Europeans mature quicker.

59:34 Adam I'm 35. I've never been to Europe.

59:36 Caller No.

59:37 Adam Yeah, I swear to God. Never been to Europe. You believe that? I got some 12-year-old punk who's been there a handful of times. You'll have to come out with us. That's it. I'm coming on Tour with the Bloodhound Gang.

59:45 Drew I'm an animal hate Europe.

59:47 Adam Why?

59:47 Drew You like Italy. You like Italy.

59:49 Adam I like eating.

59:50 Drew French will drive you crazy.

59:51 Adam Why? They got attitudes? Yeah.

59:53 Drew If you got attitude, they got attitude. It won't work.

59:56 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, where will I like? Because I'll go to Italy.

1:00:00 The Bloodhound Gang You like Norway?

1:00:02 Adam Yeah.

1:00:03 The Bloodhound Gang Like you'll find women with...

1:00:04 Adam Large breasts?

1:00:05 The Bloodhound Gang Black hair and blue eyes, natural.

1:00:07 Adam Wow.

1:00:07 The Bloodhound Gang Kind of stuff like that. Yeah.

1:00:09 That's amazing.

1:00:10 Adam Wow. Norway, huh?

1:00:11 The Bloodhound Gang Not Sweden. That whole Swedish bikini team stuff, that's all made up.

1:00:16 Adam Oh, don't ruin it for me.

1:00:18 The Bloodhound Gang No, Norway is where it's at.

1:00:19 Adam All right.

1:00:19 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, Swedish people, they're not that attractive.

1:00:22 Adam Wow.

1:00:22 The Bloodhound Gang They all look like the Swedish chef.

1:00:26 Adam The Swedish women out here, I think they got what would be the opposite of what the Pollocks got. You know what I mean?

1:00:34 Drew Yeah, they got too good a rap.

1:00:36 Adam We decided the Poles were all stupid. Right. I'm sure dumber than they actually are, although they're not doing that great over there, but they're no dumber than the Hungarians or the Czechs, right? Then the Swedes, we decided we're all hot, right? And they're no better than Norwegian, anyone in that region, are they? No. No. All right. So there you go. Thanks, Jerome. Glad I settled that.

1:01:01 Drew I'm sure this is a very useful show tonight.

1:01:03 Adam Steve?

1:01:04 Caller Yeah, how's it going?

1:01:05 Adam What's up?

1:01:06 Caller I recently ate marijuana because I didn't want to smoke it because my parents were in their bedroom sleeping and I didn't want them to find out.

1:01:14 Adam You couldn't do it rectally?

1:01:16 Caller No, I don't do it that way.

1:01:18 Adam I see. All right.

1:01:20 Caller And I was just wondering how long it stays in your system. Does it stay?

1:01:24 Drew After eating it, it stays in longer than smoking it.

1:01:27 Caller Longer?

1:01:27 Drew Yeah.

1:01:28 Adam Did you get high?

1:01:29 Caller Yeah, I felt pretty funny for a couple of hours. But not as same as smoking it.

1:01:35 Adam And what did you do? Did you just put it in your mouth and eat it?

1:01:38 Caller I chewed, sort of, just put it under my lip and sucked on it for about 20 minutes and then spit it out.

1:01:44 Adam And then you spit it out. And I think you gotta eat it.

1:01:47 Drew Chew it to back up.

1:01:47 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah, if you eat it and crap it out, then you really have skunk weed.

1:01:51 Caller Yeah, that's probably when you smell it.

1:01:53 Caller It smells too good.

1:01:54 Drew What are you taking this drug test for?

1:01:56 Caller A job.

1:01:57 Drew When are you taking it?

1:01:59 Caller Within the next couple of weeks.

1:02:01 Adam You're 15?

1:02:02 Caller Yeah.

1:02:02 Adam Are you gonna be a pilot?

1:02:04 Caller What?

1:02:04 Adam What do you do at 15 where you get drug tested for a job?

1:02:07 Caller I'm gonna work at Lumberman's and I guess they just do it there.

1:02:11 Adam You're working at Lumberman's?

1:02:12 Caller I'm going to, yeah. I just filled out a job application today.

1:02:15 Adam And what do they sell there? Aluminum siding?

1:02:18 Caller Stuff like that. 2x4s and stuff.

1:02:21 Adam Nice. Let me tell you something about a 2x4. You really impressed the bosses.

1:02:25 Caller Oh, yeah?

1:02:26 Adam It's really only an inch and a half by three and a half.

1:02:29 Caller Oh, okay.

1:02:30 Caller I'm gonna write that down.

1:02:30 Adam They're gonna like that. You want me to tell you the difference between a bored feet and lineal feet?

1:02:36 Drew What's the difference?

1:02:36 Caller I'll save you later.

1:02:37 Drew No, I want to hear it.

1:02:39 Adam A bored foot is a foot of board by foot wide. It's all one by, which is actually only three quarters by. Here's what I mean. Lineal feet is like just how many feet of this crap did you buy, whether it was molding or siding or whatever it is. If you have ten ten foot pieces, you got a hundred lineal feet. But bored feet is if you got one by six and another one by six and they're both ten feet long, you only have ten bored feet. You don't have twenty bored feet. It's gotta be twelve inches. See, it's gotta equal twelve inches in width.

1:03:23 Drew Right, right, right.

1:03:24 Adam You guys know what I'm saying? Am I confusing you?

1:03:25 Drew Before you start getting feet going forward.

1:03:27 Adam Lineal feet does not matter about the width or the thickness of the board, but bored feet has to be a foot wide. So, okay, here's what I'm saying.

1:03:36 The Bloodhound Gang I'm just wondering if you ever went out on a date and she's like, yeah, this is the guy from Loveline's, from the mansion. He took her to a really nice restaurant. Like, here's the difference between-

1:03:47 Drew You guys? He does that stuff.

1:03:49 Adam Let me just- just because I want to make it clear and then we'll move on. We'll edit this out of the show.

1:03:53 Drew Of course.

1:03:54 Adam If I had 10 pieces of wood that were all 2 inches wide and they were 10 feet long, it would take 6 of those to get 10 feet of that. It wouldn't be 100 or it wouldn't be 60 feet.

1:04:11 Drew What if you had 3 foot wide by 10 feet? Would that be 30 board feet?

1:04:15 Adam You mean thick? You mean if it's thicker than 1 by?

1:04:18 Drew Yeah.

1:04:19 Adam Well, you'd have to factor that in, but every 3 quarters of an inch, it starts at 3 quarters of an inch, which is 1 by. One inch is 3 quarters of an inch. You know what I'm saying?

1:04:29 Drew Yeah.

1:04:29 Adam It's very confusing.

1:04:30 Caller I think we're all bored with the board feet.

1:04:32 Drew All right. Back to the guy with the pot. Yeah. If he smokes regularly, it could show in as late as two weeks out. It really could, but usually it doesn't. If he's just an occasional smoker, that episode of eating the pot will not show up.

1:04:43 Adam I'm telling you, when he gives the boss a speech about the board feet and the lineal feet. It won't matter anymore? I don't care if he hawks up a pot brownie right in front of the guy and lands on the application, he's still in.

1:04:53 Caller Right.

1:04:54 Adam That's going to be impressive. Jessie?

1:04:56 Caller Yeah?

1:04:57 Adam Yeah. You know what's always funny? Then we're going to talk to you, Jessie. You know what? I hear these commercials for like Home Depot or something when they're talking about, we hire veteran tradesmen from the industry with years of knowledge and experience in trade. I go to Home Depot, I'm like, do you have wood? And the guy's like, huh?

1:05:17 Caller Right.

1:05:18 Adam Do you have a toilet? Come again and say it slower this time because I didn't hear the, I mean, I've never seen more retards in my life and I never know what the hell you're talking about ever. I laugh like a maniac when I hear those experienced tradesmen. Are you kidding me? All right, Jessie?

1:05:36 Caller Yeah.

1:05:37 Adam Go ahead.

1:05:38 Caller Hi. Okay. About a year ago, like in May of 99, my dad was, put in jail for a couple of counts of child molestation.

1:05:50 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:05:52 Caller Exactly. He just recently got sentenced to nine years in prison and he started his term February of this year. Since then, everything has changed in our family. Just everything happened.

1:06:09 Adam Who was he molesting?

1:06:11 Caller I have a younger brother and younger sister. It wasn't any of us from what we've told each other and stuff. But it was a couple of younger family friends, like my mom's best friend's daughter.

1:06:27 Drew Are they the ones that press the charges? Are they the ones that press the charges?

1:06:32 Caller Actually, yeah, it was like my mom that basically put him in jail, and there's two families that press charges against him. All right.

1:06:44 Adam He's doing nine years. He must have some priors, right?

1:06:48 Caller Actually, no. He was molested when he was younger.

1:06:51 Adam Surprise. Surprise, surprise. But he never had any trouble with the law before this?

1:06:56 Caller Like a traffic violation.

1:06:58 Adam Well, that's exactly the kind. No.

1:07:01 Drew Yeah. The violation was a high-speed chase where he beat the crap out of some cop.

1:07:04 Adam He drove through a mall?

1:07:06 Caller It was like, no, he drove through. I'm not exactly sure.

1:07:10 Adam He drove through a crash or something.

1:07:12 Drew Jump through.

1:07:14 Adam Okay. All right. Well, anyway, so now he's in for nine years.

1:07:18 Caller Yeah.

1:07:19 Adam Yeah.

1:07:20 Caller And my younger...

1:07:22 Adam When you're in for molestation, though, they treat you like a king in there, so don't you worry about his accommodation.

1:07:28 Caller Actually, he's not my real father either.

1:07:30 Drew What's your question?

1:07:31 Caller Okay.

1:07:31 Caller My question is I was wondering if there was any groups that... You know, like Allotine, if there's any, like, equivalent groups to that for this particular situation.

1:07:41 Drew For surviving abuse or for dealing with family systems that are torn apart by someone who's an abuser?

1:07:47 Caller That, yeah.

1:07:48 Adam Well, where is your real father?

1:07:51 Caller He's never really been in my life. I've, like, met him a couple times, but he's just a loser.

1:07:58 Adam And this guy was always in your life?

1:08:00 The Bloodhound Gang Compared to your stepfather. He was not a loser.

1:08:03 Drew There are trauma survival groups out there.

1:08:05 Adam Oh, you know your bad dad when you're being compared unfavorably to the guy who's doing nine years for molestation. Right. Yeah. Oh, boy.

1:08:15 Drew Go ahead, Drew. So trauma survival types of groups, I would think, and many psychiatric hospitals or general hospitals would have those sorts of referrals. If not, you still could. Neither of these guys were alcoholic or addicts?

1:08:30 Caller My mother and my father both had drug problems.

1:08:32 Drew Yeah. So I think, I think Allatee might be the best place for you to start because, surprise, surprise, this is not an unheard of situation with people with addiction history.

1:08:40 Adam How many brothers and sisters do you have?

1:08:42 Caller I have a younger brother and younger sister.

1:08:44 Adam Why do, why do they insist on the kids, Steve Fiefel, you know what I mean?

1:08:49 Drew No, I missed it.

1:08:50 Adam Three, you know?

1:08:51 Caller Yeah, it's been really hard and my brother has a lot of anger problems, you know. All right.

1:08:56 Adam That's all right. Someone's got to kill me at an ATM soon anyway, so I guess it'll be fantastic. Hey, Jesse?

1:09:03 Caller Yeah?

1:09:04 Adam You sound like you get your head screwed on pretty straight considering where you come from.

1:09:08 Caller Yeah.

1:09:08 Adam I think you're going to be one of these people. I count myself amongst these folks who are embarrassed by the actions of the parents as they get older. God, are my parents miserable? I have a radio show.

1:09:18 Drew Oh, I bet.

1:09:18 Adam Boy, they never counted on this. You idiots hear me? You didn't count on this one, did you? That's right. You figure out being some hole for the rest of my life underneath some goddamn house digging with an effing coffee can. Well, you're screwed up. You miscalculated. All that saving for college that you didn't do, all that good junk you didn't do. Now I got a radio show telling the world about you. Yeah. You're miserable now. Family's miserable that I have this show. Yeah. All right. You're smart. You'll be fine.

1:09:50 Drew Alateen.

1:09:51 Adam Go to Alateen.

1:09:52 Drew Go.

1:09:52 Caller Okay.

1:09:52 Adam And don't talk to your mom.

1:09:54 Caller Don't talk to my mom.

1:09:55 Adam Yeah. I don't like her.

1:09:57 Drew She's picked to lose her dad.

1:09:58 Adam She picked some pretty bad guys.

1:10:00 Caller Okay.

1:10:01 Adam And listen, can you sterilize her? How can a kid sterilize her parents? Can you sneak in and snip something while she's asleep or something? There's the astrility thing.

1:10:14 The Bloodhound Gang Stick a microwave between her legs while she's sleeping.

1:10:17 Adam I think a black light will work if you leave it there long enough. Doesn't the government get involved with this kind of stuff? I really don't want the government involved with that much, but this is one I'd like to see them step in on. You got a couple of kids. The first guy you got is long gone. The second guy you hooked up with is in for molestation. I mean, how about no kids? At what point do we step in and go, no more kids? Yeah, you got the six-year-old male with the anger problems. God knows what he's gonna cost. You know what I mean?

1:10:52 The Bloodhound Gang He's gonna snap someday.

1:10:53 Drew Someday.

1:10:53 Adam Someday. By the summer. No, I mean, seriously, she's got this little brother who already has the anger problems. Daddy's in jail for molestation. God knows what he did before he checked in to the prison. Real daddy's God knows where. God knows what the next boyfriend this crazy bitch brings home is gonna be like. What's this kid gonna do? Right. Which one of our kids is he gonna put a shiv in? You know what I'm saying? I mean, and at what point is the parent responsible for cranking these kids out? Please. That drives me insane.

1:11:32 Drew By six years old, the imprinting, the work's been done on the kid. Oh, yeah. You can really disrupt the brain function by that point.

1:11:39 Adam Sure. That's great. All right. Well, just in and out of the system, we'll have counselors and probation officers assigned to them. It'll be great. Spend millions on this one kid. All right. We're gonna take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Matt. Sister said she caught his girlfriend. Wait a minute. Sister said she caught his girlfriend in bed with his dad. Wait a minute. We got to talk about this. This has got to be bogus. Matt?

1:12:07 Caller Yeah.

1:12:08 Adam Yeah.

1:12:08 Yeah.

1:12:09 Adam Yeah. Your sister said she caught your girlfriend in bed with your dad?

1:12:14 Caller Yeah.

1:12:15 Adam Yeah?

1:12:16 Yeah. Well, I came home from school the other day.

1:12:18 Adam Uh-huh. The other day?

1:12:19 Huh?

1:12:20 Adam The other day.

1:12:21 Drew When?

1:12:21 Well, like, um...

1:12:22 Caller What day?

1:12:23 Drew Monday. Oh.

1:12:25 Adam Yeah.

1:12:26 And so...

1:12:27 Drew He's trying to rise up to your challenge here.

1:12:29 Adam I see.

1:12:29 I came home from school and I was late coming home from school and my sister had to talk to me.

1:12:33 Adam Why were you late?

1:12:34 Huh?

1:12:35 Drew Why were you late?

1:12:36 Adam Huh?

1:12:36 I got in trouble with some guys at school.

1:12:38 Drew What happened?

1:12:39 Uh, like, some guy kept cussing me out and so I threw a punch at him and then there were, I guess, too many of them, so they kind of took me out.

1:12:49 Adam Yeah? Did she get suspended?

1:12:50 No, they did, but I did get in trouble.

1:12:53 Adam Man, man. I'm still listening. Barely. You came home?

1:12:58 Yeah, I came home and my sister took me aside and said when she got home from school, she caught my girlfriend in bed with my dad.

1:13:06 Adam How old's your sister? Where is she now?

1:13:09 She's in the other room sleeping.

1:13:10 Adam All right. I may need to talk to her.

1:13:12 Okay.

1:13:13 Adam Now hold on a second, man. Where are you calling from?

1:13:15 Fresno.

1:13:16 Adam Fresno? Yeah. Okay. Are people having difficulty pronouncing their own towns tonight?

1:13:20 Drew And their names.

1:13:21 Adam And their names?

1:13:21 Drew Yeah.

1:13:22 Adam Yeah. We had like a resino as I got. And the other one I got. Palo Alto was a Palo Alto or something. Listen, let me explain, everyone. You got to at least know your own town. That one you got to know.

1:13:34 Drew And your own name.

1:13:35 Adam Oh yeah. Seems so.

1:13:38 Drew I don't hold that again. Sam.

1:13:41 Adam And here's the deal by the way. My barber's from Spain. And he told me one day we're talking about cars. He has a heavy accent. He told me one day he was going to trade in his Saab for a Bobo. I said, Oscar, don't you mean Saab? Yes, I say Saab for a Volvo. A Bobo, yes. Bobo, right. I say, Oscar, how is it you can say the B when you need to, but not when, you know, and then the V when you don't need to? What do you mean?

1:14:18 Caller Saab, Bobo.

1:14:21 Adam Right. I said, listen, Oscar, use the V, your precious V that you're driving. Put that over here and then take the other one and put it over there.

1:14:34 Caller No, Saab, Saab, Saab, Saab, Saab.

1:14:40 Adam Okay. Forget about that one.

1:14:41 Caller Volvo, Bobo.

1:14:44 Adam Listen, you just said V. Say the V. You just used the V. Pretend the one you used on Saab. Use the V now.

1:14:55 Caller Volvo, Bobo. I was like, all right, now you're starting trouble. That's it.

1:14:59 Adam That's passive aggressive right there. Don't tell me these foreigners aren't troublemakers. That's screwing with me, right? Yeah.

1:15:09 Caller All right.

1:15:09 Adam Bloodhound Gang is here. We'll take a little break. We'll hear from Matt, and his dad who had sex with his girlfriend's sister.

1:15:17 Caller I don't know. After this.

1:15:20 Caller Yo, Loveline will be right back, homie.

1:16:00 Adam Yep, it's Loveline and Adam Corolla, and it's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Lupus and Jimmy are both here from The Bloodhound Gang. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. We got another song to hear off that. Let's finish off with Matt and we'll hear the song and the vagina song, right? Something like that, yeah. All right.

1:16:23 Drew Let's not call that anymore, I guess.

1:16:24 Adam Matt? Yeah. What's up?

1:16:27 Drew So, 14-year-old sister saw your dad with your girlfriend. How long have you been with your girlfriend?

1:16:32 Three months.

1:16:34 Adam How do you know your sister is telling the truth?

1:16:36 Well, I don't know, but I just don't know.

1:16:41 Adam Well, here's how we can tell.

1:16:43 Caller Okay.

1:16:44 Adam You'll know whether your sister is telling the truth or not.

1:16:46 Caller Okay.

1:16:46 Adam Your girlfriend.

1:16:47 Caller Right.

1:16:47 Adam Where's her dad? Where's her mom? Is she chaotic?

1:16:51 Drew What's her deal?

1:16:52 Caller Well, her parents got divorced about two years ago. Her dad was an alcoholic.

1:16:57 Drew Keep going.

1:16:59 Caller He used to do some drugs. I don't know if he still does. He did do a little abusing.

1:17:05 Adam He did a little abusing.

1:17:06 Drew What kind?

1:17:07 Caller Well, he'd come home drunk occasionally, and I was there one night, and he just started hitting his wife.

1:17:12 Drew How long ago did they divorce?

1:17:14 Caller They've been divorced about two years.

1:17:15 Drew And you've been dating your girlfriend three months?

1:17:17 Caller Yeah.

1:17:19 Adam How did he come home and start smacking on her then when he was out of the house?

1:17:23 Caller Well, like, no, like, they were together, and I was over at her house just visiting and stuff.

1:17:29 Drew Why were they together?

1:17:30 Adam I thought they were divorced two years ago.

1:17:32 Caller Yeah, they did.

1:17:33 Caller They got divorced two years ago. But like, before they got divorced, her dad was an alcoholic and abused a little.

1:17:40 Drew Yeah. You've only been dating her three months.

1:17:43 Caller Right.

1:17:43 Adam Yeah. How'd you see the abuse?

1:17:45 Caller I was there. I saw one of them.

1:17:48 Adam I think we should just keep going around with this until he finally catches on. They've been divorced for two years. Yeah. You've been dating her for three months.

1:17:57 Caller Right.

1:17:58 Adam You were over there when he came over and started abusing her.

1:18:01 Caller Yeah.

1:18:02 Adam But they've been divorced.

1:18:03 Caller No, they weren't divorced yet.

1:18:05 Drew Yeah, but you've only been-

1:18:06 Adam You keep saying they've been divorced for two years.

1:18:09 Caller Yeah, they have been divorced for two years.

1:18:10 Drew But you've only seen your girlfriend for three months.

1:18:12 Caller I know.

1:18:14 Adam See, you understand there's a little math problem here. Count your months, though.

1:18:20 Caller Okay. Two years ago, I was 14 and I had met this girl at a party. We go over to her house for a little fun, not like anything bad. But I started talking to her mom and then her dad just pulled up and kept walking around just doing nothing.

1:18:36 Adam That's the same girl?

1:18:37 Caller Yeah.

1:18:38 Adam Okay. Please feel free to work that in on the eighth goddamn time we go around with your crappy math, you retard. Jesus Christ, our listeners, you know, no, let me tell you something, Matt. I'm going to come down on you. I'm not going to come down on you because Sunday night, there'll be someone who's even dumber. Okay. Even dumber than you. And I know even if you close your eyes, it's hard to imagine that. But believe me, they will call in. All right. So I'm going to save my energy for that person, Matt.

1:19:06 Caller Thank you.

1:19:07 Adam All right. All right. So she's got some chaos in her.

1:19:10 Caller Yeah.

1:19:11 Adam And that does make her a candidate for this. Now, what kind of guy is your dad?

1:19:16 Caller Well, he's always seemed like a good guy. I've never really seen any problems with him. Like, he did do some drugs like a couple of years back.

1:19:28 Drew Is he a perfect guy? We ask you perfect all the time?

1:19:30 Caller No, he's not perfect at all. Believe me.

1:19:31 Adam What's he saying? Construction?

1:19:34 Caller Well, yeah.

1:19:35 Adam Yeah. Uh-oh.

1:19:36 Caller Is he a good looking guy?

1:19:38 Adam That sounds like trouble. What trade, what branch of construction is he in?

1:19:43 Caller Uh, just like building stuff for, like, just houses, really.

1:19:47 Adam Let me write that down. He builds. So, he's a general contractor, framing, drywall, you know what I mean, foundation?

1:19:54 Caller He's on drywall.

1:19:56 Adam Okay, so that would be the, oh, drywaller. Hold on a second. It's not looking good. I gotta be honest with you, Drew, we've had conversations about drywallers. Only roofers lower, are lower than the drywallers. Ironically, the roofers are the lowest guys in the building. Yeah, they're evil. In the trades.

1:20:15 Drew On the top of the building.

1:20:16 Adam Yeah, the guys who are on top are actually on the bottom. This guy's a drywaller, though, which is bad, bad news. And his girlfriend is abusive, so it's alcoholic parents. It's not, it's all, It could be. It's looking very feasible at this point, is what I'm saying.

1:20:35 Drew It's painted in a way that's possible. Now what do we do to help, Matt?

1:20:37 Adam All right, Matt?

1:20:38 Caller Yeah.

1:20:39 Adam You need to say to your sister, this, if this is true, I'm gonna break up with her.

1:20:48 Drew And I gotta talk to dad.

1:20:50 Adam And it's gonna cause a lot of problems, so I won't be mad at you, but if it's not true, now's the time to speak up.

1:20:58 Caller Okay.

1:20:59 Adam And let it, give her that opportunity. And if she sticks with it and makes sure she understands this is gonna cause something, and if you find out at some point it's not true, it's not the kind of thing you're gonna forgive her for in a long time. Yeah. And then if it is true, you need to dump your girlfriend.

1:21:17 Drew Immediately.

1:21:18 Adam Immediately. Yeah. And as far as your dad goes, um...

1:21:23 Caller Should I just like beat him up or something?

1:21:25 Adam No. Just, you know, like, he's just some... Consider him an idiot you live with, like a bad roommate.

1:21:32 Drew Be done with him.

1:21:32 Adam And get your grades up and go off to college somewhere.

1:21:36 The Bloodhound Gang And go hook up with your girlfriend's mom, because she sounds like a goer.

1:21:40 Drew Shouldn't she try to... Shouldn't he try to say something to dad?

1:21:43 Adam I don't...

1:21:44 Drew Just let it go.

1:21:44 Adam You know what I mean? If... I don't know. It's like you're 16, the guy's an idiot, you know, he's probably... Idiots... You don't get a lot of satisfaction from idiots from confronting him. They tend to get in your face and stuff and... You know what I mean? It's just... How much satisfaction has anyone ever got from their parents from confronting them at 16?

1:22:04 Drew Well, I'm just wondering...

1:22:04 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:22:05 Drew No, I know what you're saying, but I don't mean gratification from the confrontation, but I'm meaning some level of... reestablishment of a relationship with dad.

1:22:15 Adam I don't know. Dad's an idiot. Just move on. Listen, my parents were okay, but semi-crappy. I had a ton of friends and I just hung out with them and it wasn't a bad deal.

1:22:29 The Bloodhound Gang When you were 18, got out of the house.

1:22:30 Adam Got out of the house early, hung out with my friends even more. If I got thrown in jail once, my friends bailed me out. If I needed help, my friends helped me out. I helped them out. They're my new family. Then later on in life, you get reestablished with your parents after you become an adult.

1:22:47 Drew Then you get a radio show and you humiliate them for years.

1:22:49 Adam Well, they deserve it. But my point is, too many people counting on the folks, and a lot of folks out there, idiots. Your friends are a lot better. All right. Let's talk about this next song we're going to play before we play it because our engineer told me there was a story or there was a lead into it.

1:23:05 Drew It used to be called the Vagina Song?

1:23:07 The Bloodhound Gang Yeah. They didn't want to put that on the back of the CD.

1:23:09 Drew Adam has his own song, right?

1:23:12 Adam Oh, yeah. My Vagina Song. Yeah. We have any of that, Anderson? Who knows what goes on in the old vagina? The old vagina, the old vagina. I know what goes on in the old vagina. That's why the kids ask me. Everyone.

1:23:28 The Bloodhound Gang Ours is pale compared to that. Don't play ours.

1:23:32 Adam All right. So we're going to hear that off of.

1:23:37 Drew What's the song actually called now? Yeah.

1:23:38 Adam What is it?

1:23:38 The Bloodhound Gang 3.14 it's called.

1:23:40 Drew What does that stand for?

1:23:41 The Bloodhound Gang Pi.

1:23:42 Drew Yeah.

1:23:42 Adam Come on. Smarten up, Drew. You're a college man. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. Bloodhound Gang is the name of the band and this is 3.14.

1:25:06 The Bloodhound Gang Me. Me.

1:27:47 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:27:48 Caller Okay, let's do it.

1:27:50 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:28:35 Adam It's the Loveline. Adam Corolla is Dr. Drew. The Bloodhound Gang is in here, and it's been too long. We're glad they're back. And when you guys come back, coming through with your tour, whenever that is, a couple of months, you got to stop by and give them a little... If you'll have us. That'd be cool. Oh, we absolutely will. All right.

1:28:55 Drew Shall we give a thanks to somebody who faxed us a report from the cato.org organization about the secondhand smoke charade. Adam went on a diatribe when he got this fax.

1:29:06 Adam Well, yes, I did. That's true. But listen, and I don't want to get back into it again, but if everyone closes their eyes and pictures of anyone they know, any celebrity, any family member that's ever died of secondhand smoke, and our collective answer is no one, then how big an epidemic is it? Do you know what I'm saying? If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense. They're trying to tell you about something that's killing in epidemic proportions, and no one knows anyone has died of this, what's the epidemic? Forget about secondhand smoke. Just insert whatever into that secondhand smoke category. No one knows anyone has ever died of this. I got a doctor here who's never seen anybody with this problem. So what's the problem? All right. We should still spend billions on it. Retarded government idiots.

1:29:54 Drew Michael 17. Michael?

1:29:57 Caller Hey, Dr. Drew. How are you doing?

1:29:58 Drew Good. What's going on?

1:29:59 Caller Hey. Excuse me. I'm a cross-dresser and I'm seeing a psychiatrist right now. He's like a therapist. And I was wondering where I would go about getting hormones for female breasts.

1:30:15 Drew Well, you're not a... you want to be a transsexual.

1:30:17 Caller Yes.

1:30:17 Drew So you're not a cross-dresser.

1:30:19 Caller Well, yeah.

1:30:20 Caller I mean, I am right now, but I want to go through with the operation and everything.

1:30:25 Adam I see.

1:30:25 Caller Just smoke some pot.

1:30:27 Drew Why haven't you talked to the people that...

1:30:29 Adam You got to tour at the Bloodhound Gang. Everyone in the band gets breast.

1:30:32 Drew Talk to the people that do the procedure.

1:30:34 Caller Okay. Like, who would I talk to?

1:30:36 Caller Because I don't live in Washington.

1:30:37 Caller I live in Boise.

1:30:38 Drew There's a...

1:30:39 Adam I'm sure there's a clinic on every corner in Idaho that does, you know, genital removal. Isn't there? Isn't Idaho a pretty... It was a pretty liberal state.

1:30:49 Drew Denver's genital removal.

1:30:53 Adam Hey, Michael. Who did what to you and for how long?

1:30:57 Caller Nobody.

1:30:58 Adam Oh, come on.

1:30:58 Caller No, no, seriously.

1:30:59 Caller I'm a pretty normal person.

1:31:02 Adam What happened, though? Somebody must have tweaked you just a little bit.

1:31:05 Caller No, it was just when I was growing up, I felt more like a girl than I did a guy.

1:31:11 Adam Yeah. And it's a good thing you didn't feel like a goat or something. That'd be a tough operation. Yeah.

1:31:19 Caller Getting the horns in.

1:31:20 Adam Horn-mones you'd have to take at that point. Hey, you're 17 years old. No one is going to do this operation.

1:31:29 Drew That's right.

1:31:30 Adam You know what I'm saying?

1:31:31 Drew Not at 17.

1:31:32 The Bloodhound Gang At least wait till you're 25 or something. Don't you have to live as a woman for a long time anyway?

1:31:37 Drew Yes. And they will give hormones and they will talk about other procedures.

1:31:40 Adam You've got to wear a skirt for a year.

1:31:42 Drew That's way down the line.

1:31:42 Adam Make sure you're totally sane and then it cuts your junk off. It makes a ton of sense. I don't even believe Michael.

1:31:48 Drew Yeah, me neither.

1:31:49 Adam All right. So Michael, here's why we don't believe you.

1:31:52 Drew You know the right history.

1:31:54 Adam Here's why I know you're BSing. It's 17 to be talking about getting a little gender transplant. You'd have to be effed up beyond belief.

1:32:03 Caller Okay, but then I have another problem too.

1:32:05 Adam And you're trying to give us that chick voice too. I'd need to hear some serious abuse. Ritualistic abuse. And I ain't hearing any of it. So if you're telling me your parents are together and everybody's hunky-dory and you live in Idaho.

1:32:18 Caller Oh, the parents were divorced. I mean.

1:32:19 Adam All right, that still don't count. I need to hear like a tied up in the basement and beaten by a clown kind of thing. You have any of that?

1:32:27 Caller No, sir.

1:32:28 Adam All right.

1:32:28 Drew Forget it.

1:32:29 Adam Well, we don't believe you, then.

1:32:32 Adam Yeah. Well, but there is the breast thing. Yeah.

1:32:35 Caller Well, yeah, maybe that's where it comes from.

1:32:37 Adam Yeah, there is something to address. Just some, I'm just saying stay open to it. That's all. Jessica? Hi. You're 18?

1:32:45 Caller I certainly am.

1:32:46 Adam Yeah.

1:32:47 Caller What's up?

1:32:48 Caller Well, I'm dating a guy right now and we started discussing sexual stuff, and he had mentioned that he used to date a dominatrix, and he started describing all the things that he wanted me to do to him, and just really talking her up, and he's really into being dominated. I feel really pensive about the whole thing. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've never done anything like this before. I don't know if it's my thing, but he seems to be really into it, and I have no idea whether I'm going to live up to it.

1:33:18 Adam How old is he?

1:33:20 Caller He's 19.

1:33:21 Adam First off, there's a misunderstanding. He dated a guy named Dominic.

1:33:26 Drew Who turned tricks?

1:33:27 Adam That was a prom, yeah. Dominic turned tricks. As he said it real fast, he was probably eating. Dominic tricks.

1:33:35 Drew And he hated the tricks. Dominic hate tricks.

1:33:37 Caller All right.

1:33:38 Adam Jesus Christ, Drew. So smart, yet so stupid. And you don't know if you can live up to that.

1:33:45 Caller Yeah. I've never died.

1:33:47 Adam It's kind of rough and unfair when partners raise that sexual bar beyond belief before they even experience it, you know?

1:33:55 Drew What's up that she's chosen this guy? What is up with that?

1:33:58 Caller I didn't know about it first.

1:34:00 Drew Yeah, but your subconscious knew about it.

1:34:02 Adam Yeah, but here's the thing, and none of our listeners ever want to admit to this, but you really have to think about it. People don't, these little issues don't exist in a vacuum. I mean, whether the guy's a pedophile or he likes a dominatrix or whatever weird ass he's into, he is, the rest of his personality should sort of give you little, your spidey sense should tingle when you hang around with these people. And we want to know what happened to your spidey sense. Now, at 18, you don't have a fully developed spidey sense. And maybe this guy's kind of a mild case and all that kind of stuff.

1:34:37 Drew No eating disorder for Jessica?

1:34:39 Caller Huh?

1:34:39 Adam Eating disorder?

1:34:40 Caller No, not at all. Actually, I was wondering, is that a normal thing? Is that something that I should worry about? Or is it something that's because of abuse?

1:34:49 Drew We're just, yeah, we're one.

1:34:50 Caller It's just kind of kinky? Like, I mean, is this a natural thing that most people feel but don't want to express?

1:34:55 Drew No, it's not a routine thing for somebody to be really into.

1:34:59 Caller Yeah, he's pretty into it, he's pretty bad.

1:35:00 Drew And so that's why we were wondering why you would choose this guy. What is it about you that went for this guy?

1:35:05 Adam And if he's telling you he's this much into it at the beginning, he's really into it. Because usually you try to sort of, Be normal. Go a little mellow. It's like me with the ladies, I don't tell them about how much I fart at the beginning.

1:35:16 The Bloodhound Gang Then you pull a Dutch oven.

1:35:17 Adam I don't want to scare them, right? Sure.

1:35:20 Drew But Jessica, what is up? What is up?

1:35:22 Caller I have no idea. I didn't know this guy very well when I started dating him. He really seems like a well-rounded guy. He's well-traveled. He knows a lot of different people. He's well-connected.

1:35:33 Drew Here's what I just, again, we get one minute with people. We try to figure them all out in one minute. But Jessica, you seem so perfectionistic. That's why I asked about eating disorder. When you see something perfect, you go for perfect rather than really intuiting who the person is and what's going on with them. You're sort of disconnected from all that. So somebody puts up a good false front, you go for it.

1:35:54 Adam Your mom stuffed you in a ballet class when you were young?

1:35:56 Caller No. I think I had a pretty well-balanced childhood.

1:35:59 Drew You seem pretty perfectionistic.

1:36:02 Caller I guess I am a little bit.

1:36:04 Adam Well, this guy, it wasn't perfect. It isn't perfect.

1:36:07 Caller Well, see, that's the thing.

1:36:09 Drew You thought he was, except that he's not.

1:36:10 Adam Give the guy an opportunity. Have sex with him. Tell him, listen, I'm not really that much into that. I'll give you a little slap on the ass, but I'm not pulling the executioner's hood out. See if he goes along with it. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Then you move on.

1:36:25 Drew Here we go. We're moving on to... Love line, with Anna Carolla and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it.

1:37:06 Adam Yep, that is it. Another fabulous week finished. I want to thank the Bloodhound Gang for coming in here tonight. Hooray for Boobies is the name of the CD. I want everyone within The Sound of My Voice to go out and get it, because as I've said on a few bands, on a few occasions, these guys are friends of the show, and we always support our friends on this show. Thanks, Adam. Again, hooray for Boobies, go out and get it. Jimmy and Lubitz, thank you very much for coming in. It's been too long and I hope we do it again soon. I want to thank Danielle for doing a great job on the phones and the coffee and the screening and everything else all week. I want to thank Doris for doing a good job. I want to thank Engineer Anderson for doing a great job sliding the potentiometers and all the other junk that I'm too stoned to figure out back there. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. Well now.

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Thursday, March 30, 2000