Episode 1000754887690

0:53 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:56 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:00 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:05 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:07 Loveline. Yep, it's Loveline.

1:11 Adam Hello, my little pretties. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. He's in New York City right now, sitting at the fabulous Westwood II affiliate over there. He will be theoretically will be chiming in any second now. They're trying to hash out a little technical difficulty. So until then, it's just me and you. 311 is coming up a little bit later this week and it's always fun to see those guys. Drew should be patching in any moment now, but I want to talk about this Daylight Savings for a second. I never get over it. I don't know if any of you do. But I always feel raped. When I have to set that goddamn clock forward an hour, I feel like I've been sodomized. I really do. I had to work this morning. And it really underscores it when you have to work. Now, thankfully, most of the time and most of you do not have to work Sunday morning. And I usually don't have to work Sunday morning either. But I just happen to have to work this Sunday morning. And moving it ahead that hour, before you go to bed drunk at 1.45, 2 a.m., pushing it ahead to 3, it's like I really, I would have rather, I would have rather lost a family member. And now, now I don't wish I did. But, but at the time, last night, when I was pushing the clock ahead, I do. Is Drew with us? No. All right. We will take ourselves a phone call. And hopefully Drew will be up in just a matter of seconds. We'll start with Victor. Victor, you're 13.

3:02 Caller A little sec.

3:03 Yeah. Hey.

3:04 Adam Drew, quiet down. Yes.

3:05 Every time I ejaculate, I have to urinate.

3:09 Adam Yeah.

3:10 Caller That's good.

3:11 Adam It's supposed to be that way. When you're done, right?

3:14 Yeah.

3:15 Adam Right. That's a God's urine router cleaning out your pipes. That's how you're set up. That's fine.

3:24 All right.

3:24 Adam It gives an excuse to leave the room.

3:27 Caller Oh, well, you're alone, right?

3:29 Yeah.

3:29 Caller Yeah. All right.

3:30 Adam But later on, it'll give you an excuse to leave the room. Okay.

3:33 Hey, Adam.

3:34 Adam Yeah.

3:35 I can also light my farts.

3:37 Adam Really?

3:37 Yeah.

3:38 Adam You know, it's amazing, Victor.

3:41 Yeah.

3:41 Adam You're 13. You're already on to this. I was on to this at a fairly young age. I run into adult men, guys in their early 30s. Never heard of it, never tried it, never want to do it. Don't you find that sad?

3:56 Caller Yes, I do.

3:56 Adam You ever cry a tear for those guys, Victor?

4:00 Caller Just a little one.

4:01 Adam That's fine. All right, Victor, you're fine. You urinate after you ejaculate.

4:05 Caller All right.

4:06 Adam It's the circle of life.

4:08 Caller Mark?

4:10 Caller Okay.

4:11 Adam You're 19. What's going on?

4:13 Caller About a year ago, I did ecstasy for the first time, and I ended up doing it three times that week.

4:19 Caller Wow, you liked it.

4:21 Caller I loved it. Two weeks later, I did acid for the first time, and the very next night, I did ecstasy again.

4:28 Adam That was a big week for you.

4:31 Caller I really don't feel right now.

4:34 Adam How long ago was this?

4:35 Caller About a year.

4:36 Adam It's too bad Dr. Drew is not here.

4:38 Caller It all took place in about a month.

4:40 Adam I see. Why did you just freak out over one week?

4:46 Caller I really don't know.

4:48 Adam So you haven't been the same since?

4:50 Caller No. I've been to a couple of doctors. I thought I had something wrong with my heart, but they diagnosed me with costicangitis.

4:57 Adam Oh, yes. Know it well. That's when your angina gets costicized. This was the first time you did either one of these drugs?

5:10 Caller Yeah.

5:11 Adam Why did you do so much?

5:13 Caller I don't know. I just fell in love with ecstasy right away. And I had a great month. The month was just totally mind-boggling.

5:22 Adam But now, I'm going to pay the fiddler.

5:26 Drew Adam?

5:27 Caller Uh-oh.

5:28 Drew Adam?

5:28 Adam Drew's over there.

5:29 Drew Here I am.

5:30 Adam Hey, can you hear me?

5:31 Drew Yeah. Loud and clear.

5:32 Caller Not you, Mark.

5:33 Drew A little technical problem. But I came in just on the right call here, guy.

5:36 Adam Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely did. So anyway, Mark did a bunch of ecstasy and a bunch of acid in one month.

5:42 Drew Yeah, I heard the whole thing. And in fact, the National Institute of Drug and Alcohol Abuse going to come out with a major health initiative, a major sort of public health campaign to help people understand how much damage is done by ecstasy and acid and that even a moderate amount of use, they have now pet scans that show the serotonin systems in the brain destroyed.

6:02 Adam Listen, who cares about the dogs and the cats? We're talking about human lives here, Drew.

6:06 Drew These are, these are.

6:08 Caller Thank you.

6:09 Drew Pet scans, yes. And you're doing okay?

6:13 Adam Who, me?

6:14 Drew You sound a little tired.

6:15 Adam I had to work today. And like I, like I was saying at the top of the show, setting the clock ahead an hour when you have to work early Sunday morning.

6:24 Drew No, it's, it's a charger.

6:25 Adam Rather be raped by, by the guy from the Green Mile.

6:30 Drew And by the way, I know how you love work.

6:33 Adam Come on, don't screw around.

6:35 Drew But Mark, listen, this is serious crap. This is really serious stuff. And I just, in fact, just recently spoke. I've just now, in fact, talking at a few colleges and spoke at Duke today. And unbelievable how many ecstasy people are doing. Un-effing-believable.

6:49 Caller Really?

6:49 Drew And it is one of the drugs that we know a lot about. It's damaging effects. You need to see a doctor, a psychiatrist that's used to dealing with addiction medicine. The cost of chondritis and all the chest pain and whatnot is all part of the mood disturbances and anxiety that goes along with ecstasy.

7:03 Caller All righty. Now, Drew, do you have a call?

7:05 Adam Have we worked it out that you can pick the calls? There you go.

7:09 Drew Sarah's 19.

7:10 Caller Hi. What's up, Sarah?

7:11 Caller Oh, nothing much. I talked to you like last week, Dr. Drew, when Adam was gone.

7:15 Drew Oh, wasn't that wonderful?

7:17 Caller Yeah.

7:18 Drew Wasn't that a great show?

7:18 Caller It's cool. We had a short conversation. Anyway.

7:22 Drew We actually get to have a dialogue with our callers then, Adam.

7:24 Caller Wow.

7:25 Caller How dare you.

7:30 Caller I had taken the morning after pill. Oh, God. I don't even know how, like two, three weeks ago, and I took OVRET, and they gave me the 20 pills.

7:38 Drew I remember talking to you about that.

7:40 Caller Yeah. Anyway, I had talked to my nurse practitioner and I haven't got my period. I'm just really sick all of a sudden. I'm really tired. I go moody.

7:54 Drew How many weeks ago was you took the pill?

7:56 Caller What?

7:57 Drew How many weeks ago was you took the pill?

7:59 Caller I think like maybe two.

8:01 Drew Why don't you take a pregnancy test?

8:03 Caller You know what? I did earlier this week and it came back negative and I told her that. But she told me to disregard it because I was on the pill. I screwed up on the pill. That's why I've taken the morning after pill. It's something about it sucks the test sometimes. I don't know and I just start spotting but I've never had it before. It's like really like pink.

8:29 Drew I mean as you well know I think you know that bleeding at this stage of a pregnancy if there's a pregnancy can be a sign of a tubal pregnancy or an atopic pregnancy. What do you think?

8:38 Adam She knows that?

8:40 Caller Well I don't know.

8:41 Drew We had a nice conversation when you weren't here.

8:42 Caller Oh I see.

8:43 Drew We talked about stuff like that.

8:44 Adam Let me tell you something about the vagina, Drew.

8:46 Drew Oh please. Would you sing about it?

8:49 Caller Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. I know what goes on in the old vagina. That's why I do the show. Everyone, who knows?

9:05 Adam Here's the thing. It's very complicated down there. And I was sort of, you know, I'm always looking for my good analogies. The vagina is like, it's like a koi pond. I was talking about koi ponds earlier today, but I'm thinking this is what the vagina is.

9:21 Drew It's no longer a Rubik's Cube.

9:22 Adam No, no, it is when you're trying to figure it out.

9:25 Drew Or more of a soup of nature, a poss swamp.

9:28 Adam No, it's a koi pond in that, you know, the pH levels have to be right. You have to keep it filtered. I mean, it's a, it's a high maintenance thing. I mean, if you take a, if you dig a hole in the back of your yard, fill it with water and throw a few fish in there, unless you're on it, you know, 24 seven, those fish are going to be floating in a couple of days. Whereas the guy, guy's penis is like a rock garden. Yeah, it's like with a cactus in it. You know what I mean? Yeah, once in a while, you got to yank a weed. But that's about it. Just leave it alone. You don't have to water it.

10:03 Drew But Sarah does need to get a pregnancy test and she should see a gynecologist to be sure this is not a big topic pregnancy.

10:08 Caller Okay.

10:09 Adam Brad, you're 16. What's going on?

10:11 Caller Yes. Last weekend, one of my girlfriend's friends, I guess it was a joke or something, but they put a condom in her bookbag.

10:23 Caller Oh my goodness.

10:25 Adam Yes.

10:25 Caller She went home and her parents found the condom in her bookbag.

10:29 Caller Nice.

10:29 Adam Yeah.

10:30 Caller On Friday, I was talking to her and she started acting like really weird. So I told her I'd talk to her tomorrow, that I think that we should have some time apart.

10:42 Drew Why don't I believe this guy?

10:45 Adam I believe the condom part. I just don't believe the part about her not wanting to break up with him. You know what I'm saying?

10:55 Drew Yeah.

10:56 Adam If this is the reason she's using to get some time apart, she wants out.

11:01 Drew It's flimsy, yeah.

11:02 Adam But go ahead.

11:03 Drew Something about this whole situation is flimsy.

11:05 Adam Go ahead there, Brad.

11:07 Caller But like I talked to her the next night, yeah, and I asked her why she was so upset the night before, and she said that her parents wanted us to break up and all because of the condom in her book bag.

11:22 Caller Right.

11:23 Drew How old is she? How old is she?

11:26 Adam Eleven.

11:27 Caller She's fourteen.

11:30 Adam It's a little creepy. All right. So her parents want to break up. And you think that's why she wants to break up?

11:35 Caller I don't... She says she doesn't want to break up.

11:39 Adam But her parents want her to break up?

11:40 Caller Her parents want me to break up, want us to break up.

11:43 Adam Yeah.

11:44 Caller And like every time I talk to her, she's telling me about like these jokes her father's making, like, oh, you're still breaking up with Brad? Oh yeah, that's right. You have to.

11:56 Adam Yeah, I see.

11:56 Drew Well, that's interesting.

11:57 Adam Hey, Brad. Yeah. When you're 16, you shouldn't go out with a 14 year old anyway. Even if you're sort of arrested emotionally like yourself, you still shouldn't go out with them. And number two, if she didn't want to break up with you in some way, she would not. That's right. Believe me, she wouldn't. So take this as a sign that maybe she wants to break up. Because, I mean, let's just, let's put it this way. Let's say she was madly and deeply in love with Brad. And someone had put the condom in the book bag. What do you think her conversation with the parents would have been like? She would have been crying, saying, I can't believe you don't believe me. This was a joke. Suzie did it. I will call Suzie on the phone right now. You can listen on the other line. I'll ask her about it. She'll tell you. I mean, just think about what people do when they want something. As I had cited, I think it was the last week or the week before, you want to know about people's determination. Look at drug addicts. The poorest people in the world have the most expensive habit in the world, and they manage to do it, don't they? People without jobs, without houses, without cars, without credit cards, without banks or ATMs can keep alive two, three hundred dollar a day habits.

13:20 Drew It's not amazing.

13:21 Caller High.

13:22 Adam When they're high. Yeah. So tell me when you want to get something done, you don't, I mean, the human spirit is pretty crazy with that when you want to do something. That's too bad. People can't sink their teeth into other, other aspects of life like they do addiction.

13:37 Drew Community service.

13:38 Adam Yeah. There you go.

13:39 Caller Jessica.

13:41 Adam Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to sell my mom's engagement ring so I can donate it to Jerry's kids. And what happened to Jessica?

13:48 Drew I'm just trying to get her back. Jessica. Hello? Hey there.

13:51 Caller You're 15. What's going on?

13:53 Caller I heard something about like you get after your period or something like 15 days or something after like you can't get pregnant or something like that.

14:02 Drew If you haven't ovulated, but there's really no way you can predict with certainty that fact.

14:07 Caller Because if you tell something to us at school, like your little thing that holds the kid like can't grow back or something like that.

14:14 Drew Oh Jessica.

14:16 Adam You're going to public school?

14:17 Caller No.

14:18 Adam No? What kind of private school? People are paying for that little thing that holds your kid? Conversation you're having?

14:25 Caller Yeah.

14:26 Drew Wow.

14:27 Adam Yeah. You let me talk to your dad. He's got to get his money back.

14:31 Drew Go to a medical textbook and look at how a menstrual cycle works. There's you sort of have a follicle that develops. It releases an egg. The egg is available for basically a day in the tube to be fertilized. And then that's it. When those eggs become available can be variable.

14:48 Caller Okay?

14:50 Drew In an ideal situation, yes, first 15 days there's no egg available but you can't predict that in every person.

14:55 Adam Well it's not the first 15 days because most women ovulate I think two weeks or 15 days after they finish your period, right? So I mean if you did it on the 13th, 14th, 15th day there'd be a pretty good chance there'd be a bullet in a chamber.

15:13 Drew It could well be, absolutely. Plus the sperm hang around for about three days.

15:16 Adam Oh they do?

15:17 Drew They wait there for three days for that egg to be released. It's within 24 hours of ovulation that the majority of pregnancies occur but not within 24 hours of intercourse which is why you have three days to use the morning after pill.

15:29 Adam So the sperm will stay alive in there for three days?

15:31 Drew Three days.

15:32 Adam What if they're exposed to sunlight within the vagina?

15:35 Drew Or a little high UV?

15:37 Adam Yeah.

15:38 Drew Yeah.

15:38 Adam Yeah, like one of those mechanic drop lights?

15:41 Drew Yeah. We'll have to study that. A black light or something?

15:43 Adam Or one of those lights that you use to keep the fries warm?

15:46 Drew Oh yeah. A heating lamp.

15:47 Caller Yeah.

15:48 Adam Yeah. That's going to be fun.

15:50 Drew I wonder how the koi would respond to that.

15:52 Caller They die.

15:53 Adam They start floating. Brian?

15:55 Caller Yeah.

15:56 Adam You're 20.

15:57 Caller Yeah.

15:57 Caller Hey. How you doing, guys?

15:59 Caller Good.

15:59 Caller Hey. First of all, I got to say, Dr. Drew? Yeah. When I saw you here in Springfield, Missouri back in February, you were fantastic.

16:07 Drew Oh, thanks. I appreciate that.

16:09 Caller You were absolutely wonderful. I loved your presentation. I thought you were really good.

16:13 Drew Adam, that's what I'd do without you on the road.

16:15 Caller That's right.

16:17 Adam It's real funny.

16:18 Caller Anyway, okay. Here's the deal, guys.

16:19 Adam Most entertaining eight minutes of your life. The other hour 45 was dismal.

16:25 Drew I can't help but rub in the fact that when I first started doing this on my own, Adam had to chime in and go, you're not going to believe how hard these things are, how you're going to appreciate how much I do for you, how I tow the line for you.

16:36 Adam Yeah, that's right. Hey, speaking of Dr. Drew, Drew, I heard a drdrew.com commercial on the radio.

16:44 Drew You like it?

16:44 Adam On K-Rock, on the right end, yeah. Fair effect.

16:48 Caller But anyway...

16:49 Adam Now hold on, we're not done waxing about Dr. Drew's other careers. All right, see what you do when you bring up those compliments for Dr. Drew.

16:57 Oh, he was great, though.

16:58 Caller But anyway... Sorry, the thing is that just last week I finished up on spring break and I went down to Mexico. And the deal is that I met a girl and we started French kissing when we were dancing.

17:16 Adam Yeah.

17:16 Caller And then about 30 minutes later, she proceeded to give me oral sex. And then I gave it to her. And the deal is that I'm a virgin.

17:29 Drew 30 minutes later, 30 minutes after starting dancing?

17:32 Caller Exactly.

17:33 Adam Wow.

17:34 Caller I'm not kidding you.

17:35 Adam Yeah, you moved like the wind.

17:37 Caller Oh, well, I mean, I didn't expect it to happen. Like I said, I mean, I never had anything like this happen before.

17:42 Adam You're a virgin, right?

17:43 Caller Yes, I am.

17:45 Adam She essentially raped you then, right?

17:48 Caller Oh, well, we'll look at it that way.

17:50 Caller She was pushing the whole thing ahead, right?

17:53 Caller Yeah, she's the one who pulled down my pants after we took a little walk. We walked down the beach and gave me oral sex. And then I barely, the deal is I barely put my tongue on the tip of her quit at all. And she still wanted to give it to me more after that.

18:09 Adam Wow. You mean give you more oral sex?

18:11 Caller You got it.

18:12 Adam Hey, Brian, life isn't this way, though.

18:15 Caller You do know that, right?

18:17 Adam I don't want you to get disappointed for the next 60 to 70 years.

18:20 Caller Yeah, really.

18:21 Caller That's kind of what I'm thinking. But I'm thinking more on the lines of the two guys that, well, it was all good and great at the time. Like I said, I'm a virgin and it was all great, but I'm scared to death about what could be going on right now with the diseases.

18:34 Drew Did you just engage in oral sex with her?

18:36 Caller That's it.

18:38 Drew Okay.

18:38 Adam Was she a local gal or was she a college gal?

18:42 Caller She was a college girl.

18:43 Adam Yeah. You know what college she went to?

18:45 Caller Yeah.

18:46 Adam Yeah. Which one? Did you get her phone number or anything?

18:50 Caller No. Actually, what happened was after I said to her, she had a friend with her and her friend had a guy with her that they just met that night. And then I said to her, do you want to go hang out for a little while later? And she's like, really? She said, it's not that I don't trust you. She said, it's just the fact that.

19:06 Adam She's not that kind of girl?

19:07 Caller Yeah. She's like, I just met you and I don't want to go too far with you. And I said, okay.

19:11 Drew Oh, my God.

19:12 Adam Oh, God. I'm going to kill myself and come back as a freshman. I swear to Christ, you know, you get a Hummer on the beach in Mexico and that's not crossing the line.

19:26 Caller She doesn't want to go too far.

19:28 Adam You know what really kills this for me, Drew, personally? There's a lot of guys and I know guys all claim to enjoy a little oral sex being performed on them.

19:39 Caller You know what I mean?

19:40 Adam Every guy says they like that. But you know what the reality is? There's a lot of guys that aren't nuts about it.

19:46 Drew Right. There's a certain group that's just into it and I think a majority that are just...

19:51 Adam A fair amount of my friends are that way.

19:53 Caller They like the notion of it.

19:55 Adam It's like, hey, I'm really making some time. This means she likes me. And they sort of like the gesture.

20:02 Drew It's exciting.

20:02 Adam But as far as the sensation, it's all right. They'd rather be having sex. I really like the BJs.

20:10 Drew We're proud of you, Adam.

20:11 Adam Yeah. I really enjoy them. So to hear these stories, it really kills me. It's almost devastating. Almost.

20:18 Drew There's a word for that. It's called envy.

20:20 Caller Oh, yeah.

20:20 Adam Envy.

20:20 Caller Right.

20:21 Adam That's me. Is that initial N and then V or is that a whole word?

20:26 Drew No, it's Adam, envy, Corolla.

20:28 Adam Ah, that's good.

20:30 Drew All right.

20:30 Adam So tell Brian what he can get.

20:33 Drew Well, oral sex, you can get any of the usual sexually transmitted disease with Adam. And recently, oral sex has been shown to transmit HIV from male to female.

20:42 Adam Good. Freak him out real good.

20:43 Drew But the probability is he's not going to get any serious STD from that.

20:47 Adam No.

20:47 Drew That's highly unlikely.

20:48 Adam I mean, Brian, don't freak yourself out.

20:51 Caller What?

20:51 Caller Hey, are you guys still there?

20:53 Adam Yes.

20:54 Drew We're here.

20:55 Adam Okay.

20:55 Caller Well, I mean, so, Dr. Drew, the thing is, is it something that I need to go get myself tested?

21:01 Drew Why not? Not if, well, unless you're having symptoms. If you're not having a sore throat, no discharge.

21:07 Caller It's been one week.

21:07 Adam Yeah, you're fine. You're on the brink.

21:09 Drew I, you know, I think it's a responsible thing for people to be tested in general, to get hepatitis B vaccines, those sorts of things. But I don't think you have to rush out and get tested if you are not having symptoms.

21:19 Adam Right.

21:20 Caller Right. All right. Who do we have?

21:21 Adam You see Jay over here was molested while in a mental hospital, which sounds like one of the worst weekends of his life. You have Heather over here. Her dad has never hit her, but she's afraid of him.

21:35 Caller I like that.

21:37 Adam You know what I mean? That's what I want my kids to be. Just scared of me without having to actually abuse them.

21:42 Drew That's nice.

21:43 Adam Yeah, that's nice because who can complain? It's like, hey, honey, I never hit you. That's a healthy respect. That's fine. Let me just say hi to Jay before we go to break. Jay?

21:54 Caller Yeah, it was more like 10 days.

21:58 Adam That's a bad week and a half then.

22:00 Caller Yeah.

22:01 Adam Why were you in the mental hospital?

22:03 Caller Well, I tried to commit suicide.

22:06 Adam How long ago was this?

22:07 Caller Last summer. Wow.

22:09 Yeah.

22:09 Drew Who abused you?

22:11 Caller Some kid that was a patient.

22:15 Adam And now you're gay?

22:18 Caller Well, I thought I was gay before I went in but now I'm just more open about it and I feel more strongly.

22:24 All right. All right.

22:25 Caller Does that have anything to do with it?

22:27 Adam You thought you were gay before you headed in, right?

22:30 Caller Yeah.

22:30 Adam How old was the kid that molested you?

22:32 Caller He was probably like 16, 17.

22:35 Drew When you were 13?

22:36 Caller Yeah.

22:37 Drew I think the issues of sexual identity are fairly well set by that point.

22:41 Caller By 13? Oh, yeah.

22:42 Adam Anything else happened? What caused you to want to commit suicide?

22:46 Caller I've just had severe bouts of depression and I'm bipolar, I have ADHD and I just got out again from the same hospital like three weeks ago. Wow.

22:56 Drew That's a lot to deal with.

22:56 Caller For the same amount of time.

22:58 Adam Well, but no molestation that time?

23:01 Caller No.

23:02 Drew Did you talk to your doctors about what had happened to you?

23:04 Caller Yeah. They're already checking on him to see if we can get him put into prison.

23:10 Caller Oh, really?

23:11 Adam Did he really rape you?

23:14 Caller He tried to, but it wouldn't go in.

23:16 Caller Yeah, that's good.

23:18 Adam Yeah, I don't think you could get a popsicle stick that's been rubbed down with butter into my ass. I really don't. I'm proud of that too, Drew.

23:27 Drew Is that because they get tangled up in the hair?

23:30 Adam All right, wise ass. That's part of it. I'll tell you, the first thing in me that tightens up is the anus.

23:38 Drew Yeah.

23:39 Adam You'd have a better shot getting your prick in my ear than you would in my ass. Or go around front and try the urethra.

23:49 Caller You'd have a better shot.

23:51 Adam Or I could just fold my scrotum into a taco and you could have it that, which I've been known to do for the lads. But the anus tightens right up. It really does. I don't really even technically know how that rape works. You know what I mean?

24:09 Drew Right.

24:09 Adam I mean, here's the deal. No matter what, even if the guy said to you, listen, unless you comply, I'm going to put this shiv in your liver.

24:20 Drew Right.

24:21 Adam Still the anus would be tight.

24:24 Wouldn't it?

24:25 Drew It'd still be snapping twigs.

24:27 Caller Yeah. I mean, how does that work? You know what I mean?

24:33 Adam I don't mean any disrespect to our listeners who have been raped in the anus.

24:39 Drew How about male and female? Male and female raped, too. You wonder how they do that.

24:43 Adam Yeah. I mean, I can barely work it when she signed off and we've had her attorney look at it and everything's on the up and up. You know what I'm saying?

24:53 Drew I know what you're saying.

24:54 Adam I mean, we'll see. Yeah. I don't know how that works. I know people are going to get pissed off at this conversation, but if there's a woman and she's like kicking and pawing and screaming, and her legs are all over the place, and the guy's got to keep that erection. I have two wine coolers. I can't find the vagina.

25:19 Drew Is it the vagina or the penis you lose?

25:20 Adam Oh, yeah, three wine coolers, I lose the penis, too. I can't find the vagina and the anus? Forget about it. I don't know how this works. I wonder how much actual male on male raping is real rape. You know, I mean, good old fashioned prison sodomy. I'm going to look into that.

25:42 Drew I can't wait.

25:43 Adam Yeah, I'll be back with an answer, you know, after the break, Drew. I'm going to ask my peeps. All right, we'll be back after this.

25:55 Caller We'll be right back with more.

25:58 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

26:26 Caller Yep, it's Loveline.

26:28 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. And we'll hop back on the phones and speak to Claire, who's 27.

26:38 Caller Claire?

26:39 Caller Yeah.

26:40 Caller Hey.

26:41 Caller Hi.

26:41 Adam What's up?

26:42 Well, I am 28, and I was diagnosed with ADD when I was very young, in my early teens. And I've been taking Ritalin off and on since then. And now, I take more than I'm supposed to to get high.

27:03 Drew Are you addicted to anything else?

27:04 I'm sorry?

27:05 Drew Are you addicted to anything else?

27:07 Well, I take Zoloft.

27:10 Drew Are you using alcohol, pot, any other illicit drugs?

27:15 When I take the Ritalin, I want to drink, and so I usually do.

27:21 Drew Is there alcoholism in your family?

27:23 Uh, yeah.

27:24 Drew Okay.

27:25 Caller I'm firmly of the opinion.

27:27 What, that?

27:28 Drew I'm firmly of the opinion that people with ADD after the age of 18 should not be on Ritalin, except in extraordinary circumstances. It fuels addiction. Before 18...

27:37 Adam Shut up. Shut up.

27:39 Go ahead.

27:39 Drew Before 18, it turns out to be a pretty good idea. It tends to improve your personality development, self-esteem, and whatnot, but after that, it tends to fuel addiction, and you need to talk to your doctor about your addictive disease.

27:49 Well, that's what my question is. Let's see. My doctor is a neighbor, and his wife and I are very good friends.

27:56 Drew Well, that's a mistake. And so what will happen? Listen, you should never have a dual relationship with your doctor. That ill serves you. You need to have somebody who is there as your physician, and that's it. It doesn't have dual kinds of interest in you.

28:12 So he'll write my prescriptions for me when I go in every three months, and he'll like date them for each month, one for that month that I'm there, and then the next, and then the next.

28:23 Adam Hey, Claire, what the F does this have to do with what Drew just told you?

28:27 My question is that I will find an excuse, because I'll run out early. I'll find an excuse to call him and say, hey...

28:35 Drew Well, Claire, what did I just tell you?

28:37 Adam What do you want us to do? You gotta move.

28:38 I'm wondering, will he be able to find out that I'm filling all of the prescriptions? I mean, do they go back to the doctor after they get filled?

28:46 Drew Of course he will, but he's not paying attention. He's probably not someone who's real familiar with dealing with the combination of addiction and ADD, and it's not serving you well.

28:55 Caller It's making you sick.

28:57 Drew Claire, listen to me. It's making you sick right now. You're addicted to these drugs.

29:04 Okay, if I just stop taking it, let's say I just stop taking it.

29:07 Drew I'm done.

29:09 Caller Shut up, damn it!

29:10 Drew I can't do that.

29:11 Adam I can't do it. Well, maybe she's a little sped up right now.

29:15 Drew Yeah, she is, absolutely, but she's not listening at all, at all.

29:18 Adam Well, I wasn't sure what her question was.

29:21 Drew Her question is, is she going to get caught?

29:23 Adam Yeah.

29:23 Drew That's her question. How is the doctor going to find out? Of course, the Ritalin is a very controlled substance, and if the doctor doesn't catch on to it, the pharmacy will, and they will catch up with her.

29:32 Adam Not my pharmacy. They don't speak English over there.

29:35 Drew Oh, but they still can count.

29:40 Adam One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.

29:45 Caller What come after two?

29:47 Adam Yeah, that's how they count over at my pharmacy. But, hey, Drew, Ritalin is just basically speed, right?

29:52 Drew Well, it's not exactly speed, but it has a stimulant, and it has addictive properties.

29:56 Adam When you're over 18, you just, it's sort of like speed to a clip, right?

30:00 Drew Well, for someone, if you just have ADD with no addictive diathesis, no addictive genetics, then it's fine.

30:07 Yeah.

30:07 Drew But if you have that gene going, it will fuel it. It will.

30:11 Adam Heather?

30:12 Hi.

30:12 Adam Thank God I don't have that gene going, Drew.

30:15 Drew Yeah, I have my doubts.

30:17 Adam Yeah, oh, please. Please, I haven't smoked pot in...

30:21 Drew Today's Sunday?

30:22 Adam Yeah, see, it was...

30:23 Drew 24 hours.

30:24 Adam No, 30, 30, 32. No, no, seriously, seriously. I, I, no, it's been a while. I haven't smoked pot in a while. I drink every night. Yeah. But it's okay. It makes my personality better. Heather?

30:39 Caller Hi.

30:40 Adam People like me more, more popular at parties. Hi, what's up there, you 17-year-old?

30:45 Caller Yeah, I'm like afraid of my dad always hitting me when he's mad at me and he's never hit me before.

30:53 Adam Has he paid people to hit you?

30:55 Caller No.

30:56 Adam That's what my dad did. He wouldn't hit me himself. He was against violence personally, but he hired some thugs to beat me.

31:02 Drew Are you sure he wasn't rougher with you when you were a lot younger?

31:05 Caller I don't know. He's always been tough on me, and I think I developed an eating disorder because of him.

31:12 Adam What about mom?

31:13 Caller My mom's totally cool.

31:17 Adam She almost said perfect. I could have been trouble.

31:20 Caller I know perfect's the wrong word to use with you guys. No, but I've just always been afraid of my dad, and I feel like I should blame my eating disorder on him.

31:32 Adam Fair enough. Done. You want us to sign something? Hey, Heather, you got that little girl voice. It doesn't scare me completely, but it makes me a little bit nervous.

31:44 Drew If dad is sort of a bombastic, aggressive, intrusive sort, I could see where that could do this sort of thing to you.

31:53 Adam Is he an attorney?

31:54 Caller No, he works for Lucent Technologies. He's like a computer nerd.

31:59 Adam I knew it. Attorney or computer nerd? Yeah. Is he a loudmouth guy? Does he drink? Does he fly off the handle?

32:07 Caller No, he doesn't talk at all. He's very antisocial.

32:11 Adam Yeah, see, that fits the nerd.

32:14 Drew But I wonder if there's a rage underline that that she's tuning into and it scares her.

32:18 Adam Well, I mean, listen, we can only blame so much on the guy if he's not talking. Do you think he neglected you?

32:26 Caller I don't know. Probably I never see him, but...

32:31 Adam You didn't see him when you were growing up?

32:33 Caller Not much.

32:34 Adam All right. How's your eating disorder now?

32:38 Caller Still on the fritz. I'll be in bed and every few minutes, I'll be starving and then I want to purge.

32:47 Drew Oh boy.

32:48 Caller So I just don't eat, but...

32:50 Drew Are you going to treatment?

32:52 Caller Yeah. My mom finally, after four years, has got me into treatment.

32:57 Drew Mom's perfect, by the way, Heather. Perfect.

33:00 Adam After four years.

33:01 Drew Tuned in, attuned, she's on top of things.

33:03 Adam Four years, it's barely an Olympic season.

33:07 Drew Blink when I.

33:08 Adam Yep. Especially when you're... I remember those years from 13 to 17.

33:13 Drew Worthless.

33:13 Adam Shot right by. You remember that?

33:16 Drew Painless.

33:16 Adam From the time you're in the eighth grade, the time you're a senior?

33:20 Drew Poosh.

33:20 Adam Yeah. Like a rocket ship. Hey Heather, maybe your mom's not as great as you think.

33:26 Caller No, but she's a wonderful mom. She's very liberal.

33:29 Adam Yeah.

33:30 Drew Yeah, that's not necessarily a good thing.

33:31 Adam Listen, I always blame eating disorders on mom for some reason. Isn't that true, Drew?

33:36 Drew There's some theoretical basis for that. Especially- The intrusive mom is sort of a classic thing.

33:41 Adam Dad and his empathy. I mean, I know he's not a model dad, but he really didn't do much, which I know is not a good thing. But I don't know if it's cause enough for a disorder. All right. Well, anyway, listen, go to college, move out of the house, and work on the eating disorder. Well, she's in treatment for the eating disorder, and that's the place to talk about this stuff. JR?

34:03 Yeah, what's up?

34:04 Adam You're 18, what's up?

34:06 Caller I want to have sex with my girlfriend, Anil, but she ain't really down for it, but she said she did it with her boyfriend.

34:12 Drew You said his girlfriend's name was Anil?

34:13 Adam Anil, yes.

34:14 Drew My girlfriend Anil?

34:15 Adam Yes, he dated her sister Vaginal and Oral. They're triplets.

34:20 No, my girlfriend's name is Lindsay.

34:22 Adam Lindsay?

34:23 Yeah.

34:24 Adam That was the name of my girlfriend.

34:25 Is it really?

34:26 Adam Well, it was the one who was the stripper.

34:28 Uh-huh.

34:29 Adam I like that name, Lindsay, though.

34:31 Caller Yeah, I don't know that person.

34:32 Adam It's a good name.

34:33 Caller Yeah.

34:34 Adam Yeah. So, you want to have sex, Anil sex?

34:37 Caller Yeah, but she said they're her last time.

34:40 Adam Right. You mean with her last boyfriend?

34:42 Caller Yeah.

34:43 Caller I was just wondering if there's something wrong with me.

34:44 Caller Am I gay or something?

34:46 Drew No.

34:46 Adam For wanting to have Anil sex with a woman?

34:48 Caller Yeah.

34:49 Caller I just want to have it. I don't know why.

34:50 Caller It's just like...

34:51 Adam No. Makes you more of a man. You're the opposite of gay.

34:55 Caller Yeah.

34:56 Adam You're a yag.

34:59 Caller What the hell?

35:01 Adam That'd be gay backwards, Drew.

35:04 Drew I know.

35:04 Adam That's anti-gay. Yag. I like that. I consider myself a yag. Yag-lic American. I yag off with myself.

35:15 Drew Oh, boy.

35:16 Adam Alrighty. Drew, we got two hours to kill.

35:18 Drew Oh, man, do we.

35:20 Adam I gotta keep talking. What time is it over there, Drew?

35:22 Drew It's 1.40 in the morning.

35:25 Adam How rape did you feel by this setting the clock forward BS?

35:30 Drew Adam, you have no idea. I was operating on a slim margin. They took another hour away from me. It's four hours ahead for me.

35:36 Adam I know. I told you I had to work this morning, which is it twists the knife in your side. Jeff?

35:43 Caller Yeah.

35:44 Adam I'm thinking of suing the government. You went in on this, Drew?

35:46 Caller Absolutely.

35:47 Adam Jeff, you went in?

35:47 Caller Absolutely.

35:48 Adam Glass action lawsuit. What happened to my life is going to be the title of it? Go ahead, Jeff. You're 28.

35:55 Caller Yeah, 28. And I have a, I don't know if it's a fetish or not, but my very first girlfriend, my ex-wife and other girlfriend I'm with now, I have fantasies about them being with another man.

36:09 Adam Yeah.

36:10 Caller And I get very turned on by that, but only by those three particular women, none of my other exes. I was wondering if that's something psychological or...

36:19 Drew How about when you're actually with them? How's the experience when you had been with them?

36:24 Caller It's great.

36:25 Drew You didn't have any problems?

36:26 Caller No, no. We've never actually gone through with it.

36:30 Caller No, no, no.

36:31 Adam When you're having the sex.

36:33 Caller Oh, it's fine. Yeah.

36:33 Adam Yeah, good. You don't picture them with other men when you're having sex with them? No, no. But you do picture yourself with other women like I do, right?

36:42 Caller Yes.

36:42 Adam Yeah, nice.

36:43 Drew You didn't have any performance problems? No, no. And you thought about other women when you were with these women?

36:51 Caller Yeah, I used to, but that only lasted for a little bit. And then I got more turned on by thinking about them with another man.

37:00 Drew To me, this whole thing sounds like...

37:02 Adam Very healthy.

37:02 Drew Yeah, this is all... It's actually pretty complex stuff. And it's sort of remnant feelings that you have about yourself as a sexual person. And when you really feel close and intimate to someone, it conjures up some feelings that you feel guilty about. And it's overly intense. You sort of divert all that with these fantasies.

37:19 Adam But the judge, jury and executioner is the penis. Actually, I think the penis is the judge. The right testicle is the jury. And the left testicle would be the executioner. I believe...

37:33 Drew That's where you wear a hood on?

37:35 Adam That's... Although the underpants would represent the hood. But here's what I'm saying. If you can achieve an erection without the aid of your fetish being fulfilled, it ain't a problem.

37:48 Drew It's not that big a deal.

37:49 Adam No, because guys who have a true fetish will not be able to perform unless they're in the midst of that fetish.

37:56 Drew No, you're right. You've learned something in the show.

37:58 Adam Oh, please, Drew. I knew this coming out of Junior High. Wow.

38:03 Drew Where's your Junior High?

38:04 Adam Walter Reed, Junior High in North Hollywood. Of course. Of course, Walter Reed. He was a great naval scientist. I think he figured out that the malaria was transferred by mosquitoes.

38:17 Drew Yes, I believe that's right.

38:17 Adam Yeah, that was a great assembly, by the way. Talk about riveting for a 13-year-old watching black and white footage of the Japanese atoll campaign, 1944. You know what I mean?

38:38 Drew The Anopheles mosquito.

38:39 Adam Yeah, yeah. That's, boy, talk about fascinating. And you know me. I was such a consummate student. I was riveted. I wanted to see it again.

38:49 Drew And those skills of concentration, they've never changed.

38:51 Adam Yeah. Please show me the monsoon season in the Philippines in black and white one more time. I love to see guys trouncing through mud.

39:02 Drew Was it actually like a film or was it a film strip?

39:06 Adam I think it was like a film that was mixed with some stills. But it was basically, this is your junior high and this is the guy who's dead, who your junior high is named after. And I never figured out whether Walter Reed came from that area or how it worked. I can never figure out these junior highs. There are some weird ones. Someone was telling me there's like a Steve Garvey one in Las Vegas. There's some strange ones. I think Cato Kaelin has one.

39:33 Drew Oh my god.

39:34 Adam I'm serious. I think I heard that.

39:36 Drew Yeah, you say so.

39:37 Adam All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, who are we going to talk to, Drew?

39:42 Drew Let's talk to line one, Sandy, who found a picture of her boyfriend having sex with another woman.

39:46 Adam Oh, that's good. That's good. All right, we'll talk to Sandy after this.

39:50 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

39:53 Caller Back in a minute.

39:54 Adam Well, it's worth hearing.

40:28 Yeah.

40:31 Caller Whoo.

40:32 Caller Whoo.

40:33 Adam Yeah.

40:35 Caller Yeah, it's a good radio. Uh-oh.

40:38 Drew Oh, no.

40:39 Adam Could be a little lightning round coming tonight.

40:42 Drew Oh, my God.

40:43 Adam Kitties, I smell a storm brewing.

40:49 Caller Yeah.

40:49 Adam Yeah, that's going to be going off in just a little under an hour. Big time lightning round without the hindrance that is known as Dr. Drew. Because Dr. Drew is at the Fabulous Westwood II facility in Fabulous New York, New York, right?

41:06 Drew You've never been here. It's all new now.

41:08 Adam Oh, it is.

41:09 Drew It's in the CBS broadcast center. It's way other side of town.

41:13 Adam Really? Where is it?

41:14 Drew It's up, where the hell am I? In the 60s in the west side somewhere?

41:18 Adam That's Westwood II. Do they realize it's new?

41:21 Drew Yeah, probably not.

41:23 Adam If they tried to age the equipment by, I heard they-

41:26 Drew It actually looks like one of those early 60s films, where they tried to reproduce NASA with all that equipment that you now look at and go, oh, that's so ridiculous.

41:35 Adam Oh, I see. That's more like it. I heard that Westwood II is, we like to call Westwood I because of their crampy antiquated work environment, bought a new studio from another affiliate and actually, because the equipment was too nice and too new and too good of shape, they actually-

41:53 Drew Pulled it off.

41:54 Adam Well, no, they flooded the studio with seawater.

41:56 Drew That's nice.

41:57 Adam For a couple of weekends, I heard just to add a little corrosion.

42:01 Drew Well, just to bring the cultural ambience out.

42:03 Adam That's right.

42:05 Drew A more startling fact is I walked into this, it's a big CBS building, I walk in, the front desk, I go out, I'm looking for Westwood I. The woman looks at me and goes, I've never heard of that, I don't know what you're talking about.

42:14 Adam Let me just say something very quickly about security people in general. Amongst the dumbest folks walking erect in society are security people. Nobody knows less about the thing they're being paid to guard or watch than the security. It is a horrible idea. I understand companies have to cut corners and save a buck where they can. Save it, we have a wonderful security here at Westwood, too. He just walked in and reached for his piece. I'm guessing it'd make it through the glass, no problem.

42:49 Drew The folks that hire these people, it's more like the people at the door or the gates, that kind of thing.

42:55 Adam Yes. Drew, has there ever been a time when we've shown up at a studio to do something where someone at the gate said, first off, you're guilty until proven innocent. It's a what do you want? Then it's a sort of go away mentality. No, I don't know what that is. They don't know what's in their goddamn building.

43:18 Drew Yeah.

43:19 Adam Even if it's been there for 10 years and people are coming past, they're going through it every night, they'll still pretend they don't know who it is, and then they're suspicious. Why is it that you want to go up there? They'll never remember anyone's name.

43:30 Drew I swear to God, if I walked in the gates of the White House, there's security out in front, and I said, I'm going to see the president, they go, who?

43:36 Who?

43:37 Adam Where is he? He lives in which house? Which color is it? Here's the thing I love about security, and listen, if there's any of you security guys who are currently working at gate or desk or an entrance to a stage or within the sound of my voice, please use all of your goddamn reptilian brain to listen to this. Understand that when you're standing at a gate or a desk or a door, people are going to come up to you and want to pass through it.

44:09 Caller Do not be surprised.

44:11 Adam Do not be put off. Do not be shocked. Do not be dumbfounded by people coming to you and saying, I need to go into wherever there is. You understand? They act like you came in and asked for a recipe for gazpacho.

44:32 Caller They look at you like, huh? What? In here?

44:36 Adam I mean, you know, when Jimmy used to do Win Ben Stein's money, I used to go visit him like two or three times over the course of three years. But he was on the whatever lot that is, the Fox Lot or whatever the hell lot he did that on, KTLA over here in LA. Every time I pulled up to that goddamn guard tower, the guy was like, what? I'd say, Ben Stein's money, Adam Corolla.

45:00 Drew That's actually the worst one in town.

45:03 Adam It was like, huh? I mean, like we were at Roswell or something.

45:08 Caller I mean, it just, what?

45:10 Adam I mean, it's like, you have a parking lot filled with cars that come in and out of here all day. Win Ben Stein money has been on this lot for three goddamn seasons now. How confused are you that I want to come on to this lot? How difficult is that for you?

45:25 Drew Let's get to Sandy before we have to go to break again, okay?

45:27 Adam Jesus Christ. We shouldn't have brought up security.

45:29 Drew I know. I'm sorry. Sandy?

45:31 Caller Yes.

45:31 Drew So?

45:32 Caller Hi. First, I want to say I love the show. I listen every night.

45:35 Adam Thanks.

45:35 Drew Thank you. I'm sorry you have a dirtbag boyfriend.

45:38 Adam Why? What do you mean dirtbag? There's a picture of him with a woman having sex.

45:43 Caller Well, I understand that. I don't have a problem with having porn magazines or anything in the house. We just moved in together. Yeah. I was looking for, I think, a pair of scissors and I went to a box. We just moved into this house last week. And I found a photo album and I started looking through it. You know, and it had some pictures of his family, whatever, no big deal. I get to the end and there's, you know, ex-girlfriends and whatever. And I understand that. I still have pictures of my ex-boyfriends.

46:10 Caller Yeah.

46:11 Caller But I get to one of the last pages and there's a picture of him having sex with this girl.

46:16 Caller And it's just in the in the photo album, in the photo album.

46:19 Adam Wow.

46:20 Caller Oh, boy.

46:21 Adam This guy's brash.

46:22 Caller I like that.

46:23 Caller And I just I don't know what to do. He doesn't know that I've seen it yet.

46:27 Adam Well, I mean, was it actually pasted into the album?

46:30 Caller Yes. I was like, I tried to peel it up and look to see if there's a date on it. And I couldn't even get it out. It was stuck in there.

46:37 Adam Wow. Face up with the cellophane over the top.

46:40 Caller Yeah. Nice.

46:42 Caller I know this is an old photo album because his niece is just a baby in the photo album. She's four now and they were all in the beginning. There was pictures of her when she was little.

46:51 Drew By the way, who is he planning to share this album with?

46:54 Caller I don't know.

46:55 Drew Here I am at Santa's lab.

46:57 Adam He has grandkids one day.

46:58 Drew Yeah.

46:59 Adam This is Easter in 1989. Here's me banging Tammy.

47:04 Drew Oh my God.

47:06 Adam Yeah. I mean, they're pretty good. But listen, hold on. Sandy, you cannot judge the date of what's in the photo album by the age of the kids in the picture because people put stuff that are, you know, throughout.

47:16 Caller All right.

47:17 Drew Later.

47:17 Adam Yeah. Ten years.

47:18 Caller I know it's an old picture. I mean, I don't know.

47:21 Drew All right. What exactly can we do to help you?

47:24 Caller I don't... What should I do? Should I tell him he has to get rid of the photo?

47:28 Adam What was the picture of exactly?

47:30 Caller I have no...

47:30 You know, he's marine.

47:32 Caller And I know he's been around and had his share of...

47:34 Adam What was the picture of?

47:37 Caller They were having sex. He was on the bed. Her legs were popped up on his shoulders and he was smiling up at the camera.

47:42 Adam Who do you reckon took the picture?

47:44 Caller I don't know.

47:45 Caller Probably one of his drunk marine friends.

47:48 Adam Oh, you mean a third person took the picture?

47:50 Caller Yes.

47:51 Adam Interesting.

47:52 Caller Wow.

47:53 Adam So, I mean, it was not... It wasn't her shooting up at him or anything like that.

47:56 Caller It was... I could see the whole bed. Yeah.

47:59 Adam And it wasn't an ex-girlfriend of his? I mean, do you know that?

48:02 Caller I don't know. I really don't know.

48:04 Drew I think you're going to have to talk to him about it, because it bothers you and it should bother you. And I think, though, you're going to have to ask him to get rid of that if you're going to stay with him. I don't think he needs to hang on to those things if they're offensive to you.

48:14 Adam All right. When we come back, I'm going to provide a counterpoint to Drew's lackluster point after this.

48:57 Caller Yeah, yeah.

48:59 Adam Yeah, all right, we're going to take ourselves a quick 10-second time out, and then we'll be back with more of The Fabulous Show in just 10 seconds.

49:06 Caller This is Love Live on Radio Station.

49:22 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. 311 will be in here a little bit later on this week. Drew is currently in New York, but he has himself a computer screen, which reads the same as the computer screen that I have in front of me. He has a clear connection, and I think this is actually working out.

49:43 Drew Yeah, it's nice.

49:44 Adam Yeah. Plus, I'm farting up a storm in here tonight, Drew.

49:49 Drew I would sort of like to, what would it be sort of a share in the appreciation of your glory?

49:55 Adam I'll tell you.

49:55 Drew I know how much you enjoy sharing those sorts of moments.

49:58 Adam It's more of a bask that you do in my glory. But let me say-

50:03 Drew Basking in the narcissistic glow of your flashbacks.

50:05 Adam I'm never more pleased with myself and I never laugh harder. I would hopefully like for my children to see the day when the fart can go cross-continental as well.

50:20 Drew It needn't just be your voice, but I actually get a smell-o-vision.

50:24 Adam Yeah. Well, what I'm saying is we're communicating. You're 3,000 miles away. It's three hours later and it's as if you're here in the room. We're looking at the same computer screen with the same kids and the same problems. But yet, you cannot enjoy my fart. That's one thing we haven't been able to recreate from a technological standpoint. And I'm hoping that we see that day one day, that it's not too far off.

50:46 Drew Some for you from which to find inspiration.

50:48 Adam I have a dream as well. James?

50:51 Yes.

50:51 Adam You're 29.

50:52 Caller Yeah. I just wanted to know, when I do speech, I tend to want to invert my penis or totally like want to take it out. And I was wondering if I did do that, would if I took it out, will I bleed to death?

51:13 Adam If you cut it off?

51:15 Caller No. Like if I, well, I guess it would be ripping apart the side where the scrotum is underneath.

51:22 Adam Underneath?

51:23 Caller Underneath where the ball sack is.

51:26 Adam Yeah. What do you want to do with your penis though?

51:28 Caller I want to invert it.

51:30 Adam You mean push it in?

51:31 Caller Yeah.

51:32 Adam Yeah. Why is that?

51:34 Caller I don't know. It's just a sensation that seems to need to be done.

51:39 Adam Let me tell you, it's not great. You got to walk a mile on my shoes. It's a very difficult life. Right, Drew?

51:46 Drew James, you're addicted to speed though.

51:49 Caller The reason I was thinking it was why I'm addicted to speed was I was taking, like that lady you called earlier, I used to take Silert when I was younger.

51:57 Adam You used to take what?

51:58 Caller Silert.

51:59 Adam What is that, Drew?

52:00 Drew It's another stimulant.

52:02 Adam You never hear about that one. Yeah.

52:04 Drew So it was in favor about ten, six, seven years ago.

52:06 Adam All right.

52:08 Caller It's a derivative to promyline or something.

52:11 Drew It's also an antidepressant though, Silert.

52:14 Caller An antidepressant?

52:15 Drew More than Ritalin. So go ahead.

52:17 Caller I was surprised to hear you say that it was like speed.

52:19 Drew It is like speed.

52:20 Adam Well, listen, the point is you got to get off the speed now.

52:24 Caller No, I haven't been taking it lately.

52:25 Adam That's good.

52:26 Caller For a while.

52:26 Adam All right. How long has it been?

52:28 Caller It's been probably four months. Every time I do, I get major trouble.

52:34 Drew Yeah, go ahead.

52:35 Caller Go ahead.

52:36 Drew James, are you trying to invert and create a vagina? Is that your fantasy?

52:42 Caller Yeah, exactly. Because when it's hard, when I used to, when it was hard one time, I get the top of it and I push it downward and one time it snapped.

52:53 Adam Yeah.

52:54 Caller And it sort of, it felt like it broke basically.

52:57 Adam Yeah.

52:58 Caller And when it does get hard, it still feels broke sometimes.

53:01 Drew It doesn't, it doesn't, it hangs down a little lower.

53:05 Caller It pushed down. It seemed like it tore.

53:08 Drew You tore, there's a ligament there you probably tore.

53:11 Adam My chance is really starting to hurt. Listen, tell James to get some therapy or something.

53:17 Drew Well, he needs medication. He's probably got some serious, serious stuff going on.

53:21 Adam You need to talk to your psychiatrist or a psychiatrist, James, and don't don't medicate yourself, please. Mandy?

53:28 Yeah, hi, how you guys doing?

53:29 Adam You're 21. Well, my penis hurts now.

53:31 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

53:32 Adam That's all right.

53:33 Caller Okay.

53:34 Adam I'm going to give it some good loving when I get home. Maybe a sponge bath, try to nurse it back to health.

53:39 Drew It's going to be a special night. Wow, good loving.

53:41 Adam Yeah.

53:42 Drew Not the usual sort of perfunctory.

53:44 Adam No, no. I know. I know. I've lost some of the magic with my penis. It's been sort of matter of fact. It's been complaining that we haven't been communicating.

53:56 Drew Oh, boy.

53:56 Adam I'm not listening to it anymore.

53:58 Drew It has good instincts sometimes when it comes to intimacy.

54:00 Adam Yeah.

54:01 Drew You've got to listen.

54:02 Adam Mandy?

54:03 Yes.

54:03 Adam What's up?

54:04 Okay. I was wondering if there's a reason why, whether I'm at work or at bars or whatever, I seem to only attract older guys, like normally in their 40s or so, never guys my own age.

54:17 Drew Are you hanging around older guys?

54:19 No, not really. No.

54:20 Adam Yeah. Are you a husky chick?

54:22 No. No, not at all.

54:24 Drew Why would you say that?

54:25 Adam I don't know. I'm just, sometimes, well, let me explain.

54:29 Drew You're fat.

54:30 Adam Oh, Drew, please. I said husky.

54:32 Drew No, I'm not fat. No, I didn't say that.

54:34 Adam Drew, stop calling the listeners fat. You're overweight. Drew, you're going to alienate the young girl. Now, just listen. Here's what I'm saying. Sometimes, older guys, okay, it's not going to be very complimentary, but if a chick's a little rough around the edges, sometimes older guys think they got a shot. That's all I'm saying.

54:57 Caller Oh, no, I think I look actually pretty good.

54:59 Adam Oh, yeah? Well, old guys will go for that, too. It really depends on what kind of old guys you're talking about. You're talking about CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. Or you're talking about longshoremen.

55:10 Caller Well, actually, I track both kinds.

55:12 Adam All right. Well, go with the CEO. You know what I'm saying?

55:16 Caller Well, I'd rather have somebody like within 10 years of my age, preferably.

55:19 Adam Yeah.

55:21 Drew I don't understand how we could even answer that unless we knew more about her and where she hung out.

55:24 Adam Here's the thing, Mandy. Attractive women will attract men of all varieties and all ages. I mean, if you are a very desirable, very attractive woman, you're going to go to a bar, or you're going to go to work, or you're going to go to a restaurant. And there's going to be guys, if you're 21 and very beautiful, up to 55.

55:45 Drew But you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

55:47 Adam Now, it shouldn't, but also mixed in with that, there should be some 19 and some 24 and some 26-year-olds that are hitting on you, too.

55:55 Drew That she presents herself, that can sort of take her out of the younger age group. If she looks and dresses like somebody who's in her 30s, presents herself with that.

56:02 Adam No, I agree with Drew. Well, wear a retainer and a wind-up beanie, and eat some Mike and Ikes or Pez, and see if you can attract yourself a nice 14-year-old.

56:13 Drew Tyler.

56:14 Adam Yeah. Hey, Tyler.

56:15 Drew Hey, what's up?

56:16 Adam Hey. Hold on, Drew, listen to this. This is what you're missing, all right? You ever listen? I've been farting all night in here.

56:28 Drew This is great. In a way, I sort of get just the good part of being 3,000 miles away. Yeah. I get the sound, I get the humor, and I get you laughing like a hyena afterwards.

56:38 Adam Yeah. It's like eating pie and not getting any of the calories.

56:43 Drew That's right.

56:44 Caller Yeah.

56:45 Adam It's really the best of all worlds.

56:46 Drew I'm staying here.

56:47 Adam And the end of the mic smells now. All right, Tyler, what's up?

56:51 Okay. Last summer, I met a girl, and we didn't really date, but I wanted to really, really bad.

57:00 Adam I can't believe I'm 35 years old farting into a microphone.

57:03 Drew And then laughing like a maniac about it.

57:05 Adam I wish I had a bullhorn for the car, in case I get gas on the way in.

57:09 Drew The real humor for this to me is not the fart, but your reaction.

57:12 Adam It's just nothing funnier. Just nothing funnier.

57:15 Caller Well, back to the point.

57:16 Adam All right. Go ahead, Tyler.

57:18 Caller OK.

57:19 And I kind of pushed myself on her a little bit, too much. And she kind of got pissed. And her old family got pissed and got in a big old fight.

57:27 Drew And you were stalking her.

57:29 Yeah, basically, that's what I've been doing.

57:31 Drew That's great.

57:32 Not just with her. I've had a past history with this.

57:34 Drew Tyler, what are you doing? Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, what are you doing?

57:38 Adam Well, wait a minute. They're stalking and they're stalking. All 15 year old guys are going to stalk to some degree. Let's hear how far you went with it.

57:47 I go to the same school with her and I've planned my, I found out like every single class she's in and I'll plan how I walk in the hallways so I could pass by her. Sometimes I'll drive by her house, honk the horn, try to look into the window, see if she's there. I want to know everything about her.

58:02 Adam I understand, but did you ever do anything that was dangerous or criminal? Do you know what I'm saying?

58:09 Not really. Not to the point. No violent thing, but I'm just worried that I'm going to turn into that. I'm worried that I'm going to progress into that.

58:16 Drew How long did you break up?

58:18 We never really went out.

58:19 Caller That's the point.

58:20 Adam That's good.

58:21 I just kind of wanted to.

58:24 It really creeped me out because I'll think about her at least, add it up, like five, six hours a day. I fantasize about her all the time. Every single woman I've had after her, I've always been thinking about her when I've been with them.

58:37 Adam Hold on, Champ, you're 15. How many chicks you've gone through?

58:42 Caller How far with them you mean?

58:44 Adam Yeah, you're 15. What are you driving? A moped over to her house?

58:47 Caller No. For a while, I was kind of taking my dad's car out. He didn't know. That's a whole-

58:52 Adam Yeah, that's another problem.

58:53 Caller Yeah, that's another problem.

58:54 Adam Hey, let me talk to Drew about you for a second. You can listen.

58:57 Caller All right.

58:58 Adam Tyler's an interesting guy because on one hand, he's very compulsive and obsessive and all that. And the other hand, he's very bright.

59:08 Drew Insightful. Yeah, he's bright and insightful, right.

59:09 Adam And he understands what he's doing.

59:11 Drew But he can't stop.

59:12 Adam And he's, in a way, real mature for a 15-year-old. He sounds sort of-

59:17 Drew Intellectually.

59:17 Adam Sounds sort of sharp and, you know, he's dealing his- But on the other hand, he's crafty and diabolical. He's swiping his dad's car and timing out her schedule and all that kind of stuff. But the fact that he knows he has a problem, to me, means he doesn't have that big a problem.

59:33 Drew Well, this-

59:34 Adam Okay, quiet down. All 15-year-olds, and you'll attest to this, Drew, I'm sure, have an amazing capacity for this kind of behavior.

59:44 Drew Males, especially.

59:45 Adam Males, exclusively. I mean, women have the capacity to fantasize, but men have the capacity to actually act on it.

59:54 Drew Well, men, it's like they start tracking.

59:56 Adam Oh, listen, there hasn't been a man that I've known. Yeah, it's like the Pinkertons.

1:00:03 Drew Yeah.

1:00:04 Adam They're chasing, you know, Dillinger across the state line. You think that Pinkertons was a great reference for a 14-year-old stone? Yeah, it's good. You liked it?

1:00:16 Drew It was nowhere.

1:00:17 Adam That means it was bad. What I'm saying is every guy I know has done this at one point or another, and my friends grew out of it last month. But most people grow out of it. I'm guessing Tyler will grow out of it. But I like the fact that he thinks it's a problem and that he's keeping on himself about it a little bit.

1:00:37 Drew All right. Let's at least agree that if he really believes that he's going to escalate to a violent proportion or do things that are sort of out of bounds, he gets treatment.

1:00:46 Adam Yes. Yeah. I think he would have done it by now. That's what I think. All right.

1:00:51 Drew I don't know.

1:00:51 Adam Amber. All right. Tyler, keep an eye on yourself. And if you spin out, take care of yourself.

1:00:56 Drew Don't do speed. This is the kind of guy that does speed, become violent, kill somebody.

1:01:00 Adam All right.

1:01:01 Drew Seriously.

1:01:01 Adam Okay. Amber.

1:01:03 Yeah. Hi.

1:01:04 Adam You're 18. What's up, Perky?

1:01:06 First, I want to tell Adam I think he's awesome because he can just be real in front of everyone. And Dr. Drew, I think you're so nice. I met you at Baskin Robbins. You've been in Pasadena.

1:01:16 Drew Oh, wow.

1:01:17 Yeah. Anyways, my dad has a beer sober and he went out. We found out about it two weeks ago. And how many?

1:01:29 Drew He went out on a single binge or he went out and stayed out?

1:01:32 He's staying out. He doesn't want to get sober. He thinks everyone in the program is full of s***.

1:01:38 Adam Amber?

1:01:39 Caller Yeah.

1:01:39 Adam You can't swear on the radio.

1:01:41 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

1:01:42 Adam That's all right.

1:01:43 Caller I'm nervous.

1:01:43 Adam Hey, listen, how long was he sober?

1:01:47 Caller Three years. And he went out before. Before the three years, he had seven years. Okay, so my stepmom has 16 years sober. She's been through all this with him. And her approach last time was she kicked him out of the house and he had an affair and blah, blah, blah. They got back together. Yeah, so this time she's like, I'm just going to work a very strict Al Anon program and be like really good with him and...

1:02:14 Drew That's okay. That's an alternative way to handle this. It's just to sort of detach with love, but accept what's going on with him and not try to control it. I know it's hard for you to understand. You want to get in and fix it, I'm sure.

1:02:25 Caller Yeah, I don't understand it.

1:02:27 Adam Listen, Amber, you need a nice alcoholic boyfriend to work on to shift some of your attention to.

1:02:33 Caller Well, I have an alcoholic boss and an alcoholic best friend.

1:02:36 Adam Okay, well, then focus on that.

1:02:38 Drew That should keep you busy.

1:02:39 Adam That's a good weekend.

1:02:42 Drew Amber, do you go to Allathean?

1:02:45 Caller No. I've been to Allathean and I feel like my problems are a little too old for them. I don't know why. I just feel out of place.

1:02:53 Drew Then go to Al-Anon. Go with your mom.

1:02:55 Caller I've been there and I feel too immature for Al-Anon.

1:03:00 Adam Do you want some 6-month annex, some in-between Al-A-Teen, Al-Anon that's formed specifically for you to sort of bridge the two organizations?

1:03:10 Drew There is that. There's Al-Between.

1:03:15 Adam Al-Between, yes. Please, you numbskull. Just go to Al-Anon, would you?

1:03:21 Caller Okay. Well, I have a question. Have you heard of ACA, Adult Children?

1:03:26 Drew Yeah. I tend to like Al-Anon a little better, but ACA is fine if you find some refuge there. What else did I want to tell her? Damn it.

1:03:33 Adam I don't know, but imagine dad getting loaded, going off, going out on these benches, having affairs, all that chaos.

1:03:42 Drew In my experience, when people have been actively engaged in program, in one, three, five, and seven, and ten years out, they relapse. Usually, most commonly, it's because of a mood disturbance, they're not paying attention to, not getting treated. If not a mood disturbance, at least other psychiatric problems, they're not being quite fully managed through the program. So I would suggest she get her dad to a psychiatrist, because he sounds like he's depressed. Where's my permit? That's what alcoholics do when they're depressed, they stop caring.

1:04:09 Caller Yes.

1:04:09 Drew They think everything's BS, they don't care anymore, and so they just start engaging in the only way of managing that they have, they've ever known, which is alcohol.

1:04:17 Adam I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my parents. I know I bitch at them a lot over the airways, but when I'm hearing about this, Amber talking about affairs and going out on drinking binges and this sort of very chaotic lifestyle, I'd like to thank my parents for having Epstein Bar Virus or being apathetic or depressed, generally uninterested and unable to join in life. So that the fact that they never had affairs, they never had arguments, they never went out on drinking binges, I mean, all the things that involved getting up and leaving the house, out of the question.

1:04:57 Caller Yeah.

1:04:57 Adam And I do appreciate that though, I really do.

1:05:00 Drew Just think of the alternatives. You're hearing about them.

1:05:03 Adam Yeah. I mean, look what trouble lay ahead of them, just outside their doorstep. You know what I'm saying?

1:05:10 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:05:10 Adam Thank god they stayed home. Jennifer?

1:05:13 Hello.

1:05:14 Adam You're 18.

1:05:15 Caller Yeah. My fiance likes to use food when we have sex. And I don't know how to tell him that I don't like it.

1:05:23 Caller Yeah.

1:05:23 Adam What's he using, like Sloppy Joe's, pizza, stuff like that?

1:05:27 Caller Bananas and cucumbers.

1:05:29 Caller Bananas? Huh?

1:05:31 Drew How old is he?

1:05:31 Adam The hell kind of good is that? Eh, it's like, that's rabbit food.

1:05:38 Caller He's 23.

1:05:39 Caller Oh, I see.

1:05:40 Adam All right. Okay. I'm sorry. I got you now. He's putting it in you.

1:05:44 Caller Yeah.

1:05:45 Adam Yeah, all right.

1:05:46 Caller Like opening the banana and sticking it...

1:05:48 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, putting a pizza in it.

1:05:50 Drew The queer question is, I have two questions that I don't know if you can answer. Why are you getting married to somebody that does something to you that you can't communicate with? Why are you getting so married, married so young? And why can't you just pipe up and tell them what you do and don't like?

1:06:03 Caller I've told them that it feels like really, really gross.

1:06:06 Caller And he said he likes the way it tastes.

1:06:09 Adam He likes the way the banana tastes after it's been in you?

1:06:12 Caller Yes.

1:06:13 Adam Wow. Wait till this guy discovers Hershey's chocolate syrup. Because that will really bring a banana to life. This guy just has a vaginal discharge, which I don't think is one of the topics, I'm sorry, one of the toppings you can get when you get a Sunday. Can you get that, Drew? You go to a tapioca, marshmallow, cherry, vaginal discharge or hot fudge?

1:06:36 Caller I've brought it up and once I thought he wasn't going to bring it into the bedroom, and he snuck it under the blanket. I wasn't looking.

1:06:44 Adam Well, what are you going to do? You got to marry him and have children.

1:06:47 Caller Well, yeah, I'm still going to marry him.

1:06:48 Adam Yeah, of course. Who would want to leave all that? Yeah.

1:06:53 Drew Jennifer, you're not ready to get married. You're not ready to get married, please.

1:06:58 Adam Other than that. Let me explain the other than that to all you numbskulls listening to the show. One good flaw, that's a deal breaker to me. I mean, think of all the historical other than that arguments, you know what I mean?

1:07:13 Drew Yeah, John Wilkes Booth, great guy, other than shooting the president.

1:07:16 Adam Right, other than shooting Lincoln, fantastic guy, a decent actor, and I'm told a fun guy to drink with. I mean, word on the street has it. The point is, is the list goes on and on of great guys who do horrible things, which then makes them a horrible person.

1:07:35 Drew Right, and really reveals things about themselves that makes you less apt to accept the fact, the consensus of it at being a nice guy.

1:07:44 Adam People like to think that, or at least Jennifer would like to think that this guy's an all-around great guy, except for the part where he likes to ram green groceries up her vagina. Other than that, and he likes the way he tastes. Other than that, he's the world's greatest guy. But we know that that's just sort of, that's a bigger problem expressing itself. And I'm not sure what it is, but it's something you've got to figure out before you get married. And the fact that you can't tell him that you don't like it, or he doesn't listen, it's just one more reason not to get married. All right, we're going to take ourselves a break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:08:19 Drew I thought I left four there.

1:08:21 Caller Jeff?

1:08:22 Adam Jeff had sex with Best Friend's mom never. This is always a bogus call.

1:08:28 Drew Well, let's see.

1:08:28 Adam Wouldn't you say this is the number one bogus call?

1:08:30 Drew On the radio, I'd say every time.

1:08:33 Adam And on the TV, 90% of the time?

1:08:35 Drew 95% of the time. 98% of the time.

1:08:37 Adam Let's see if we can weed Jeff out for a second. Jeff?

1:08:39 Caller Yes?

1:08:40 Adam You had sex with Best Friend's mom?

1:08:41 Caller Yeah.

1:08:42 Adam What's her name?

1:08:43 Caller Huh?

1:08:44 Caller Her name's Linda.

1:08:46 Adam One of the reasons we don't believe certain bogus calls is when they answer huh too much. That's like...

1:08:52 Drew Where they repeat the question back.

1:08:53 Adam Yeah. It's like they're buying time. And what day did you have sex with her?

1:08:58 Caller It was on a Friday.

1:08:59 Adam Which Friday?

1:09:01 Caller This was a couple weeks ago.

1:09:02 Adam Couple weeks ago.

1:09:03 Caller Yeah. I've been best friends with them for about, I'd say about two years, three years.

1:09:09 Drew How old is she?

1:09:10 Caller She's about 39.

1:09:12 Adam What room did you have sex in?

1:09:13 Caller It was in her house, in her room. She's not married no more.

1:09:17 Adam Uh huh. What was she wearing?

1:09:20 Caller She was wearing a black t-shirt and just some pants. What kind of pants?

1:09:25 Adam What kind of pants?

1:09:26 Caller What kind of pants? Blue jeans.

1:09:28 Adam Clashy.

1:09:30 Drew One time, I make a big point of it being never real. Maybe the time it's real.

1:09:34 Adam Starting to buy into this. You were over there to visit your friend?

1:09:38 Caller Yeah. But he wasn't there. What was going over there to?

1:09:42 Adam You couldn't just watch a little TV until he came back? He had to bang his mom?

1:09:46 Caller I didn't want it to turn out like that. I do find her attractive.

1:09:50 Adam Hold on a second.

1:09:51 Drew I believe him.

1:09:53 Adam I'm starting to believe him.

1:09:54 Drew I believe him.

1:09:58 Adam Again, I'd like to thank my parents. Me?

1:10:03 Drew Your mom didn't have sex with any of your friends?

1:10:08 Adam I haven't talked to all of them yet, but I'm going with no.

1:10:12 Drew Come on, Chris.

1:10:13 Adam Listen, first off.

1:10:15 Drew Ray.

1:10:16 Adam She wasn't much to look at back then. Of course, she's a stone fox now. Secondly, again, that would have required leaving her room, or at least getting up and unlocking the door. That was not on the itinerary. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Jeff and figure out whether this 16-year-old really did it or not with his friend's mom after this.

1:10:44 Drew Love line, with Anna Perot and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it.

1:11:18 Adam And yeah, it's the love line. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Hey, Drew?

1:11:25 Drew Yep.

1:11:26 Adam You know, the phone number here at Loveline is still 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:31 Drew I guess it's good to give that number out once a night anyway, isn't it?

1:11:33 Adam Oh, please, I scored it out very, very often. When we left off, we were speaking to Jeff, Jeff is 16, claims to have had sex with his best friend's mom, and so far, I'm with him.

1:11:48 Drew Seems like he has.

1:11:49 Adam I believe him.

1:11:50 Drew Yeah.

1:11:51 Adam So, he had sex in her bedroom. Weren't you afraid that the best friend was going to come walking in on you?

1:11:57 Caller Yeah, I was. I wasn't really hesitating about it because she said that he just left, I'd say about five minutes before I arrived to go get him.

1:12:08 Drew Paint the whole picture for us.

1:12:10 Caller Paint the whole picture? Well, I walked in, and we've been, I knew my best friend for about three years.

1:12:16 Drew Why were you going over there?

1:12:17 Caller I was just going over there just to see if he wanted to go uptown and shoot some hoops or something. I went over there, and I know she always jokes around with me, and we're always playing around, goofing around, always flirting with each other a little bit. I do admit that I am attracted to older ladies. I mean, not real old, but there are some pretty good-looking.

1:12:38 Adam Listen, at 16, you're attracted to a jar full of mayonnaise and liver.

1:12:44 Caller Yeah.

1:12:45 Adam That's been put in the microwave for a minute. I mean, let's face it, at 16, you're good to go.

1:12:51 Caller Yeah, I mean, I was.

1:12:51 Adam All right.

1:12:52 Drew When does that stop, exactly, Adam?

1:12:56 Adam I think it's about six months after you die, as a male. Yeah. So anyway, Jeff, what happened? She came into the room?

1:13:04 Caller She came in the room and she said, yeah, he left and he'll be right back. Well, not right back, he ran up town, said he lived about 15 minutes from town. She went there to get some food. And she said, come in the bedroom. She's like, I want to show you something. And I didn't think nothing about it. And I went in there and she took her, took her, start taking her shirt off. And then she took her pants off. And we just went at it.

1:13:29 Adam All right. And did you use a condom?

1:13:32 Caller Yeah.

1:13:32 Adam Oh, you did?

1:13:33 Caller Yeah. No, I don't. There ain't no way. I wouldn't. We're not saying that she's nasty or anything. Just, you know, protected sex, the way it'll be. Yeah.

1:13:42 Adam And did you have the condom on you?

1:13:43 Caller Yeah.

1:13:44 Adam No kidding around.

1:13:46 Drew I like Jeff, except for the way he's behaving.

1:13:48 Adam Well, listen, this is not Jeff's fault.

1:13:51 Caller If you've seen her, you'd be doing the same thing.

1:13:52 Adam Yeah. Well, I'm glad I haven't seen her or saw in her, as it were.

1:13:59 Drew Yeah.

1:14:00 Adam Yeah. So, Jeff, now you had sex with her, and this was a few weeks ago.

1:14:04 Caller Yeah. About three. I tried to call y'all last weekend, and couldn't get through.

1:14:09 Adam Well, let me get my home number. She can get through to me on Fridays and Saturdays.

1:14:13 Drew What can we do for you? What kind of question do you have for us?

1:14:16 Caller What kind of question?

1:14:17 Drew Yeah. I mean, just want to announce this.

1:14:18 Caller Just if I should tell my best friend, or if I should keep it a secret.

1:14:24 Drew Absolutely a secret. It should not continue, which is going to be difficult for you to stop.

1:14:28 Adam Is it? You think?

1:14:29 Caller I know it's going to be different whenever I go over to his house and stuff.

1:14:32 Adam You think it's going to continue? Do you want it to continue?

1:14:34 Caller I don't. No, I will admit it was good, but... Right. I mean, I like her. We're all friends.

1:14:41 Drew She's a little nutty.

1:14:42 Caller But, huh?

1:14:43 Adam She a little chaotic.

1:14:45 Caller Not really. Yeah.

1:14:46 Adam What does she do for a living?

1:14:48 Caller I think she owns her own business.

1:14:50 Drew Where's the husband?

1:14:53 Caller He's divorced. She's been divorced for about 10 years.

1:14:56 Drew Why?

1:14:57 Caller Why? I don't know.

1:14:58 Adam By the way, her own business is building wind chimes out of seashells.

1:15:02 Drew Yeah.

1:15:03 Adam And selling them at the pier. Yeah. All right. Seriously, what is her own business?

1:15:07 Caller What is her own business?

1:15:08 Adam Yeah.

1:15:09 Caller She runs a...

1:15:10 Adam Herbal Life?

1:15:11 Caller No.

1:15:11 Adam No.

1:15:12 Caller I think she has a little flower shop.

1:15:15 Adam All right. Hey, Jeff?

1:15:17 Caller Yeah.

1:15:17 Adam All right. Well, listen, don't have sex with her again. Yeah.

1:15:21 Drew Don't tell anybody. She should go to jail for this.

1:15:23 Adam No, no. This is... It's too good. Don't tell anybody.

1:15:26 Caller Yeah.

1:15:27 Adam Who have you told?

1:15:28 Caller Nobody.

1:15:29 Adam Okay. Really, don't tell anybody. I guarantee she'll not say anything, and you're not going to say anything, but this will be one of those in-between buddies going to find out about it, and that's going to be your downfall. And if somebody does, deny, deny, deny. Right?

1:15:47 Drew Yeah.

1:15:47 Adam Thank you. Liam?

1:15:50 Drew I was just thinking, don't let anybody find out about it except the National Radio audience.

1:15:52 Adam Right.

1:15:53 Drew Okay. Yeah. Liam? Oh, man.

1:15:58 Caller That was awesome.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah. Wait, I got another one. I'm really on a roll tonight, Drew.

1:16:07 Drew No kidding.

1:16:08 Adam Yeah. I'm not wearing underpants either, so I'm really-

1:16:11 Drew Oh, humanity.

1:16:12 Adam I'm really freed up. Yeah, go ahead, Liam. And listen, just because you hear me farting, Liam, it doesn't mean that gives you the green light to fart. You understand?

1:16:23 Caller I don't have any gas right now.

1:16:24 Adam Okay. I mean in general.

1:16:26 Caller All right.

1:16:26 Adam Thank you.

1:16:27 Caller Thank you. All right.

1:16:28 Adam Go ahead.

1:16:29 Caller That's a lot about my question, because this is something really serious. Well, my friend wants me to do mushrooms this weekend. I'm not really sure about it, because I don't know, like, what's he going to do, my brain?

1:16:40 Adam Yeah. You're going to freak out.

1:16:42 Drew You done the other drugs?

1:16:44 Caller Um, make a small part on the weekend sometime.

1:16:49 Drew Why do you want to go on to other more potentially dangerous things?

1:16:52 Adam He doesn't really. It's just his friend wants him to.

1:16:54 Drew But that's the point. Why is he even considering it if it's something he doesn't want to do?

1:16:57 Adam Well, listen, when you're 14 and, you know, one of your buddies says, I'm scoring some of this stuff, you have to kind of pretend like, yeah, you have to think about it.

1:17:05 Drew Leasely, I understand that at your age, the brain is still developing rapidly, and you can interfere with that easily.

1:17:11 Adam That's right, so you don't want to do it. Hey, Drew?

1:17:15 Drew Yeah?

1:17:15 Adam Hey, you're an addiction medicine specialist. Maybe you can answer this question. Whatever happened to people are getting high, thinking they could fly, and jumping off of buildings, which seem to be depicted in every bad TV show, every cop show, every drug PSA, everything from like mid-60s to the mid to late 70s. Every time someone got high, they take a suck off a reefer, and be like, I can fly, man. I can fly, no one can stop me. And then they jump off a five-story building. What's up with the kids today? And they don't think they can fly?

1:17:54 Drew They're not as liberated as they were in the 60s.

1:17:56 Adam These smart asses, these fresh punk kids, they don't think they can fly? Flying's not good enough for them?

1:18:02 Caller Is that what they're saying, Drew?

1:18:03 Adam Didn't you like that? Some guy take a hit off a roach, and next thing you know, he's up on the top of the building standing on the man's art in the front of it, or the parapet, and he's ready to take a dive?

1:18:14 Drew I actually have seen people on LSD sort of feel like they're gonna fling themselves off something. And I've seen people on Ecstasy jump from heights and throw their clothes off and jump from heights, strangely.

1:18:25 Adam Yeah. But what about the whole preamble about thinking I can fly?

1:18:30 Drew Never seen that.

1:18:30 Adam You don't get to that stuff.

1:18:31 Drew No, never seen that.

1:18:32 Adam I've been high 7,000 times. I've never... I don't think I can get off the goddamn sofa. Are you kidding? Forget about the roof.

1:18:40 Drew But how about when you're high?

1:18:42 Adam I can fly, man. I can fly. And no one can touch me. You know what I think when I'm high, Drew? Man, am I high.

1:18:49 Drew Yeah, freak out about being high.

1:18:50 Adam Geez, I'm high. Hey, you know the thing I thought was funny? I think it's because I'm high. That's what I think. That's what makes me a good pot smoker and boozer, Drew. I know I'm drunk or high. I think that's what makes bad drunks. Bad drunks are the guys that are trying to French kiss their best buddy.

1:19:10 Caller I love it.

1:19:11 Adam You're going, you're drunk, man.

1:19:13 Caller I don't do this anyway.

1:19:15 Adam I've been meaning to do it. No, man, you're really loaded. They're like, I'm going to go kick that fat Texans ass guy. He's sick. He thinks he can not talk to him. You go, hey, man, you're really loaded. Be careful. You're just doing it because you're drunk. I can drive.

1:19:30 Drew You're more pissed.

1:19:31 Adam Yeah. See, when I'm drunk, I'm like, boy, am I drunk. That is my mantra. Boy, am I drunk. Boy, am I high.

1:19:39 Drew Thanks for noticing if somebody brings it to your attention. Yeah.

1:19:42 Adam Yeah. I'm well aware. I think that's the difference. Don't you think so?

1:19:48 Drew Yeah. I don't know. Let's go to the next call.

1:19:50 Adam Well, who do you know has ever had a problem with drugs or booze where they knew they were like effed up?

1:19:55 Drew It depends on how much they do.

1:19:56 Adam All right. Come on, Drew. You know I don't have a problem.

1:19:59 Drew Not only that, but.

1:20:01 Adam Yeah. John?

1:20:03 Caller Yeah.

1:20:03 Adam You're seventeen.

1:20:04 Caller Yeah.

1:20:04 Adam What's up?

1:20:06 Caller I got my girl.

1:20:06 Drew Are you high now, Adam? Is that the problem?

1:20:09 Adam Hey, man, don't ruin it.

1:20:11 Drew John?

1:20:11 Caller Okay. Two weeks ago, me and my girlfriend first had sex, and she's taking two pregnancy tests since then, and they've both been positive. And I need to know how to tell my parents.

1:20:23 Adam You gotta get high.

1:20:26 Caller My parents are a strict religion. I would like.

1:20:29 Adam What's their religion?

1:20:30 Caller Yeah.

1:20:31 Adam What is it?

1:20:32 Caller Baptist.

1:20:33 Caller Oh, that's a good one.

1:20:36 Adam I don't even know what they do. What animal do they kill?

1:20:38 Caller They don't kill animals.

1:20:39 Adam Oh, I see. Not even chickens?

1:20:42 Caller No.

1:20:43 Adam Interesting. How old is your girlfriend?

1:20:46 Caller She's 17.

1:20:47 Adam 17 years old.

1:20:48 Caller Yeah.

1:20:49 Adam And...

1:20:50 Drew What do you mean how to tell your parents? What is it you're looking for from us?

1:20:52 Caller Well, I don't know. I mean, is there any certain way that I should like to present it at all? Or, I mean, like, or how long should I wait or should I wait?

1:21:02 Adam I would do it out the car window. I would pull up in front of the house, I'd roll down the window, and I'd honk the horn until they came out on the lawn, and then I'd yell. I got my girlfriend pregnant, and, you know, and if they seemed all right, I'd stay, but if they came at the car, I'd just take off.

1:21:19 Drew That's not a bad plan, is it, Drew? There's no recipe for this, John. There's no easy way to do this.

1:21:24 Adam Well, is she gonna see this through to the full term?

1:21:28 Caller Yeah. She wants to keep it.

1:21:30 Adam She's gonna keep it?

1:21:31 Caller Yeah.

1:21:32 Adam And then she's gonna raise it like it's her own?

1:21:34 Caller Yeah.

1:21:34 Adam I see.

1:21:35 Drew No adoption here?

1:21:36 Caller No.

1:21:37 Adam No. And what's up with her? How old is she?

1:21:39 Caller She's 17.

1:21:40 Adam I was gonna ask you that. That's right. And why weren't you guys worried about protection?

1:21:47 Caller Oh, I'm not really sure.

1:21:50 Adam Okay. Better?

1:21:50 Caller It was in the car. We were in the bedroom.

1:21:52 Adam I understand. What is her story?

1:21:55 Caller Parents divorced at 3. She was raped, got pregnant, and had a miscarriage.

1:22:00 Drew Oh, boy.

1:22:01 Adam Yeah. See, hold on a second there, John. See, Drew, I was kind of getting the feeling like she almost wanted this.

1:22:06 Drew Yeah, yeah.

1:22:07 Adam You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. She didn't use any protection, and now she's pregnant. It's like no way. I mean, she's not entertaining any other notions other than raising the child herself. And I was wondering, Jesus, why isn't she open to some other options? And I think the answer to that is she kind of wanted something to look after. Yeah, yeah. Raped and pregnant and a little bit of chaos. Hey, John? Yeah. Well, here's the good news. The bad news is she's going to keep the child. The good news is she's going to make a horrible, horrible mother. That's great. Now, you're going to have to be in this child's life because as far as I can tell, she's a little whacked out. I don't trust her mothering skills. I really don't. What's up with her other than this?

1:22:59 Caller Not much. I mean, her mom and her stepdad are really good. Her dad's a trip, but.

1:23:04 Caller Right.

1:23:05 Adam Where's her dad?

1:23:07 Caller He lives in San Francisco. About two hours away.

1:23:11 Adam All right. I have a good idea. Why don't you two go into some like a Planned Parenthood type place, see if you can make an appointment, sit down with a counselor, and have a discussion with them about what your options are and how to go about discussing this with your parents.

1:23:27 Drew I think it's a great idea to get some support, get some guidance, and then go move forward. And maybe get some options such as adoption, this kind of thing might be available to you.

1:23:36 Adam I'd like to get a job at the Planned Parenthood counseling counter.

1:23:40 Drew You'd be the adoption man.

1:23:41 Adam That'd be great. You know what I'd have? I'd have a roll of 20s in my pocket. Like when Starsky and Hutch would go talk to a Huggy Bear. And it'd be like, so you're raped once, you've been pregnant, parents broken up, you hate your dad, 17 years old. You're going to see this pregnancy through to full term? Yes, I am. Then I peel off a 20. Yeah. What do you think now? Yeah, I'm pretty sure, another 20 down on the counter. Still sure you're not going to get an abortion, no adoption? Yeah, I'm pretty religious. Peel off another 20. I'm sure by 65, 70 bucks I could get him to sign something.

1:24:28 Drew Sign a warrior's child.

1:24:30 Adam You know these idiots, really, really. If I had 100 bucks cash, you know what I'm saying? And like a packet of peanut M&Ms, I think I could get him to sign just about anything. And then it's all legal at that point, baby.

1:24:44 Drew Are we having a lightning round when we get back?

1:24:45 Adam The utopia we'd be living in. That's right, kiddies. Look forward to the lightning round. I know we've only taken three or four calls in the last hour and a half because I took a nap tonight. I'm feeling energized. When we come back for this lightning round, I'm going to burn through literally thousands of calls, literally thousands of calls after this.

1:25:06 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:25:07 Caller Okay, let's do it.

1:25:09 Caller Call Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:25:14 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:25:15 Adam Well, here's how it's sample.

1:25:49 Drew Oh, God, help me.

1:25:58 Caller Yeah, you smack the ass in the middle of the line.

1:26:01 Caller I'm Ace Rockolla, that's my part over there. Dr. Drew, we're going coast to coast tonight, baby. He's over in New York City town, never sleep.

1:26:09 Adam Big Apple over there.

1:26:10 Caller I'm gonna sit in the Big Orange.

1:26:12 Caller Let me get the phone number out of that.

1:26:13 Caller 1-800-L-V-1-9-1.

1:26:15 Caller We'll check time for that. It's 1145 in 50 seconds, straight up. That is 14 minutes. That takes away the time of the hour. Your smack dab in the middle of the last round. The fastest 15 minutes on radio. 12 o'clock's coming up in just a couple of minutes.

1:26:31 Adam Until then, we'll have a high back on the phones and we'll speak to Jane.

1:26:36 Caller Jane is 13 years old.

1:26:37 Caller Vomits when she's...

1:26:40 Caller What's up there, Jane?

1:26:42 Caller Hello?

1:26:43 Caller Jane, you vomit when you're upset, yeah?

1:26:46 Caller Actually, I vomit when I smoke or when I'm really pissed off.

1:26:50 Caller All right. Do you think you could eliminate those two things from your life there, Jane?

1:26:53 Caller You're going to vomit so much?

1:26:57 Caller It happens every day.

1:26:58 Caller Every day, huh?

1:26:59 Drew Are you purging, do you think?

1:27:02 Caller What does that mean?

1:27:03 Adam Jane, that means you eat something, then you throw up so you don't gain the weight.

1:27:06 Caller You know what I'm saying?

1:27:07 Caller No, no, no, but I used to have an eating disorder.

1:27:12 Adam I think you still do, sweet pea.

1:27:13 Drew Yeah, I think you still do, Jane.

1:27:14 Adam Jane, you got to get back and talk to the people that cured you the first time, get some of your money back, kick them in the nuts and tell them you still got a problem.

1:27:20 Caller Right, honey?

1:27:21 Caller I was never hospitalized.

1:27:23 Adam Well, then that was the problem. Jane, you got to get some help with this eating disorder. Listen there, kiddies, I'm not against the vomiting after the eating fundamentally. I mean, it sounds like a really decent plan to me. As a concept, it's strong, very strong, mucho strong.

1:27:38 Caller I don't think you can argue with the math. You know what I'm saying? Eat what you want. Yes, don't get big. Know what I'm saying?

1:27:44 Adam Right there, Dr. Drew. But unfortunately, I think it does something bad to your gullet, right, Druski?

1:27:50 Drew It kills you.

1:27:50 Caller That's right.

1:27:52 Adam And dying is not the ultimate price to pay, as a lot of people say. Having an ass that's too big for the chair, that's ultimately the ultimate price. Let me check the time. It's 1147 and 35 seconds. That is 12 minutes, 25 seconds.

1:28:06 Caller Wave the dog of the hour straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla. My good partner, Dr. Drew, is all the way over New York City. The Big Orange.

1:28:13 Adam We're back there in the middle of the lightning round.

1:28:14 Caller Loveline is around.

1:28:15 Adam Uh-huh.

1:28:16 Caller And he's back.

1:28:16 Adam I'm in the Big Apple.

1:28:17 Caller Yeah.

1:28:17 Adam And I'm in the Big Orange.

1:28:18 Caller That's right there. Jimmy.

1:28:21 Caller Yeah, I have a serious question.

1:28:23 Adam Jimmy's 23 years old. He's got a serious question. What's going to happen?

1:28:27 Caller I'm going to give him a little hug. Tina.

1:28:30 Caller Hi.

1:28:30 Adam Tina, 23 years old.

1:28:31 Caller We're in the middle of the lightning round.

1:28:33 Adam What's going on?

1:28:34 Caller Tina?

1:28:36 Adam Yeah, let me check the time. It's 1148 straight up. 12 minutes away from the top of the hour. There was an hour and 12 minutes right up. Tina?

1:28:44 Caller Okay, I went out with my friend Drinking and she was coming on to me. I don't like it.

1:28:49 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:28:50 Caller And I want to know how to tell her no.

1:28:53 Drew Why didn't you tell her right then?

1:28:57 Caller Well, it doesn't seem to work.

1:28:59 Caller Because she was juiced up and ready to go, huh?

1:29:02 Caller Yeah.

1:29:03 Adam Tina?

1:29:03 Drew But you didn't tell her.

1:29:05 Adam No, listen to me. Tina? Yeah. Is Ace Rockolla speaking?

1:29:08 Caller Who's your daddy?

1:29:10 Adam Ace Rockolla, that's right.

1:29:11 Caller Listen to me, Tina.

1:29:12 Adam Good answer.

1:29:13 Caller Tina, don't go out and get loaded with her.

1:29:16 Adam You understand? That's when the trouble, that's when the trouble will come up. You understand? You don't drink with her, you're fine.

1:29:23 Caller She was also telling me what she had prior thoughts of doing to me.

1:29:27 Adam Yeah. Everything comes out when you're drunk. Here's the beauty about being drunk. It not only brings out the stuff that's in you, you start making ass up too. That's what I love about being drunk. Let me check the time real fast here.

1:29:38 Caller It's 1149 in 10 seconds.

1:29:41 Adam That is 10 minutes and 50 seconds away from the...

1:29:43 Caller Oh, shut up!

1:29:47 Caller Drunk in the back of the phone. Loveline's back there in the middle of the line.

1:29:51 Adam What was that?

1:29:52 Caller Corrine?

1:29:53 Caller Huh?

1:29:53 Caller Corrine, you're 13 years old.

1:29:55 Caller Yes, I am.

1:29:55 Adam Your teacher is hitting on you?

1:29:57 Caller Uh-huh.

1:29:58 Caller With a paddle or with the penis?

1:30:01 Caller Neither.

1:30:03 Caller No.

1:30:03 Adam With it?

1:30:05 Caller He's like...

1:30:05 Adam Hold on, Corrine, let me check the top. It's 11.49 in 40 seconds. That's 7 minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the hour. Straight up. Go ahead, Corrine.

1:30:12 Caller He's touching me in certain ways, and I don't know what to do about it.

1:30:17 Drew Has anybody ever done anything like that to you before?

1:30:19 Caller No.

1:30:19 Adam No, you go to a private school or public school?

1:30:21 Caller Public school.

1:30:22 Drew You've got to tell another teacher. You have to tell somebody you trust who you can communicate with how uncomfortable this guy's making you feel.

1:30:29 Adam You got a counselor over there, Corrine?

1:30:31 Caller Yeah, we do.

1:30:32 Adam Well, you speak to that person, all right?

1:30:34 Caller Yeah, okay.

1:30:34 Adam Is that person touching you as well?

1:30:36 Caller No, I don't ever see him.

1:30:37 Caller Okay.

1:30:38 Caller He's kind of weird.

1:30:38 Adam Yeah, I know. You try to avoid them.

1:30:40 Caller Go talk to him, okay?

1:30:41 Caller Okay.

1:30:41 Adam All right.

1:30:42 Caller Let me check time.

1:30:42 Adam Here, Drew, I got checked time. It's really important I check the time. It's 11.50 and that's nine minutes and 40 seconds away. I'm going to be able to say, Ace Rockolla is my good partner over there on the other coast over there.

1:30:54 Caller The Big Apple.

1:30:56 Caller Ah, Loveline.

1:30:58 Caller Let's hop back on the phones and we'll speak to Fred.

1:31:00 Adam Fred is 22.

1:31:02 Caller Fred?

1:31:02 Caller Yeah.

1:31:04 Caller Can I get a herpes if I masturbate with my own spit?

1:31:08 Caller No.

1:31:09 Drew Isn't that an interesting question?

1:31:10 Adam It's a fantastic question, Fred. And because of that, we're going to send you out of sweat jacket. Fred, can't you just break down and spring for some lube like the rest of America, buddy?

1:31:21 Caller Yeah, that's what I do, man.

1:31:22 Caller I was just curious. I mean, just like...

1:31:26 Drew Well, there is some resistance to what's called auto-inoculation, but it's not well understood.

1:31:30 Caller Yeah, but no one's ever done that or everyone would have it.

1:31:33 Adam Hey, listen, Freddy, you spit on your own hand before you pleasure yourself.

1:31:37 Caller Well, sometimes, like, when I'm mad, I'll do it.

1:31:39 Caller A little more information than we needed to hear, all right, buddy? Give it to yourself.

1:31:43 Adam Let's check the time right now. It's 11.51 in 20 seconds.

1:31:47 Caller That's eight minutes and 40 seconds away from the time of the hour straight up. I'm Ace Rockolla.

1:31:56 Yeah.

1:31:56 Adam Jack, you're 21 years old. What's up?

1:31:59 Caller I was just wondering if my medication I'm taking is causing me to have problems having sex.

1:32:03 Caller What medication is it, brother?

1:32:05 Caller It's amypramine.

1:32:06 Adam Drew, how about that?

1:32:07 Drew Oh, sure. Absolutely. It can cause erectile dysfunction, sometimes increase in libido, delay in ejaculation, that sort of thing. What kind of problem are you having?

1:32:16 Caller Well, it's like my testicles get really kind of sore when I get an erection, and I can keep it up and start having sex, but the problem is, it doesn't stay up.

1:32:27 Caller Let me tell you something there, Jack.

1:32:28 Caller You remember how I called you Jack?

1:32:29 Adam My testicles get sore when I got an erection too. First, I thought it was a medication.

1:32:33 Caller Turns out they were jealous. You know what I'm saying, buddy?

1:32:36 Caller Something's wrong with his testicle.

1:32:38 Caller That's Victoria Jackson, buddy.

1:32:40 Adam All right, Drew, what did he say to Jack there? What did he say to Jack?

1:32:44 Drew That he needs to talk to his doctor about the medication. There may be other things he can add to or change to.

1:32:48 Caller I'm sorry, buddy, but I got to jump in here with the time.

1:32:50 Adam It's 11 52 and 25 seconds.

1:32:53 Caller That is seven minutes and 35 seconds.

1:32:55 Adam Waves down to the arrow straight up.

1:32:56 Caller You're smacked down in the middle right around here.

1:32:59 Adam Vitamin A strike, Ola is by Bart and I, Drew. And Drew, our job is to take calls and help the kids, so let's hop back on the phone and keep this train a-rollin Robert.

1:33:07 Caller Hello?

1:33:08 Caller 16 years old, what's goin on there, partner? What can we help with?

1:33:10 Caller Will Yellow Five shrink your penis?

1:33:13 Drew Not that I'm aware of.

1:33:14 Adam Drew, what's that coming?

1:33:16 Drew Yellow die number five? I don't know.

1:33:17 Adam All right.

1:33:18 Caller I'm a little bit scared that Yellow Five shrinks your penis.

1:33:21 Adam No, that is not right, you read that.

1:33:22 Drew I don't know where that came from.

1:33:23 Caller Listen here, Robert.

1:33:24 Adam Yeah? Stay away from things with numbers at the end of them that you ingest, you know what I mean? That's always my thing. Unless it's a franchise for a chili burger place, you know, like number four and number three, you know, that kind of thing. That's all right. Let's check the time over here. It's 1153 and that is six minutes and 50 seconds away from the top of the hour.

1:33:46 Caller And he is hot, hot, hot.

1:33:49 Adam Let's have a look at the folks. And I have Jennifer. Jennifer is 20 years old. What's it all what happens if she takes two birth control in one day?

1:33:59 Caller Drew, what do you think, buddy?

1:34:00 Drew Well, under what circumstance?

1:34:02 Adam You missed the day?

1:34:02 Drew Hello?

1:34:04 Caller Jenny, Ace Rockolla, your partner in love, are here. Did you miss a day?

1:34:08 Caller No, I don't know if I took two pills in one day or what happened.

1:34:11 Caller I went to go take my pills and it was gone.

1:34:14 Caller I think I took two yesterday.

1:34:16 Caller And then I had intercourse today.

1:34:19 Caller Like, what are the chances?

1:34:20 Caller You know what I mean?

1:34:21 Caller You got to go morning after, Tess.

1:34:23 Caller What?

1:34:24 Drew No, no. You think you took two yesterday?

1:34:27 Caller Yeah.

1:34:27 Caller Like, I don't know what...

1:34:29 Drew I would just stay on it. Just pick up today. Stay with it.

1:34:32 Caller You'll be fine, right?

1:34:34 Drew Well, to have its full efficacy has to be used the way it's supposed to be used.

1:34:38 Caller Well, listen, you should always use good protection like the pull-out method.

1:34:41 Adam It's 1154 and 15 seconds.

1:34:44 Caller It's time to go to break.

1:34:45 Adam Wait a minute.

1:34:46 Caller Let me do the math.

1:34:47 Adam That's five minutes, four to five seconds. Wave the top of the hour straight up. And that about concludes the lightning round. Kitty's up there.

1:34:53 Caller That's all right, though. We're going to be back with more me, more you, more Drew, and more Loveline after this.

1:35:00 Caller We about to get funky, yo.

1:35:03 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

1:35:41 Adam Well, there you go. Another day, another dollar. I want to thank you all for listening to the show. I don't think I ever do that, but I don't know why. It just struck me. So thank you, those who have listened. So, we're going to take a little time off until tomorrow night, about 22 hours, and then we'll be back on the air. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Boy, am I drunk. Boy, am I drunk. Well, now.

Episode Feedback

Sunday, April 2, 2000