Episode 1000754887743

1:19 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:26 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:28 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:30 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:32 Voiceover Loveline.

1:34 Adam Yep, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4, 8-5-4, yeah, 4455. That's you there, Drew?

1:46 Drew Yeah, you sound a little better tonight.

1:48 Adam Thank you very much. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, yes?

1:55 Drew Did you not work today?

1:56 Adam No, I worked today. I just didn't work that hard.

1:59 Drew Maybe it was just, ah, let's see. Yesterday was a harder day for you and it was a Sunday.

2:03 Adam Yeah. And as you know, Drew, Sunday is my people's Sabbath.

2:08 Drew Yes.

2:08 Adam So it's very difficult. I had to get a note from my priest to work on Sunday. No, I felt raped and betrayed by the government because they stole an hour away from me on a day. I had to get up and work. I would like to start off the show by welcoming back producer Anne Wilkins, who was here, who was away on maternity leave for, geez, I'm going five months.

2:35 Five months.

2:36 Drew For twins, guys, twins.

2:37 Exactly.

2:38 Adam She had doublets.

2:39 We're taking a couple more.

2:40 Adam That sexy voice of Reason is now back on the microphone in the control studio and we're glad to have her back.

2:48 It feels really good to be back, actually.

2:49 Drew Some of us actually went and visited Anne while she was out, Adam. There was a little space of time.

2:53 Drew came over and held the babies.

2:54 Adam Drew, why didn't you call me and tell me you're going over there?

2:57 Drew I did.

2:58 Adam You did? Oh, don't give me that crap.

3:00 Did you really and he didn't want to come over?

3:01 I told you the day before.

3:03 Adam Oh, the day before? That's not, you told me that evening after you went and saw him. I remember whatever it is you told me, I yelled at you for not coming and getting me, right?

3:13 Drew In your head, in your mind, you did.

3:16 Adam Yeah, that could be true.

3:17 Drew The scary thing about seeing her twins is my wife got this urge to have more children, which was just the most frightening experience.

3:23 She did. When she laughed, she was like, Drew, I want a baby.

3:28 Drew My daughter started up with that too.

3:30 Adam Oh my God. She doesn't want you to father them, does she? Not your daughter?

3:35 Drew No.

3:35 Adam Thank goodness.

3:37 No, but Adam, you did send me some beautiful flowers.

3:39 Adam That's right, I did.

3:40 That was very sweet.

3:41 Adam That's right. I think I called you once or twice.

3:44 You did once, yes.

3:45 Adam All right. Women, you know what's great about women? They have like a steel trap for that kind of stuff. But if the mechanic tells them what's wrong with the car, they can never remember that. But the flowers, the calls, they know that. Amanda, they know that.

4:00 Drew Isn't your birthday coming up around now? Two?

4:03 Mine?

4:03 Adam Yeah.

4:04 Drew When's your birthday?

4:05 June.

4:05 Adam Yeah.

4:06 Drew Adam's is coming up.

4:07 Adam We're going to have to swing by the pottery barn and go in on one of those big pots that he showed us.

4:11 I still have it. I love it.

4:16 Drew We can go to a bunch of child supplies.

4:20 Adam Oh, yeah. That's good. You know what I can't figure out about any of that, and I know I'm not the first person to come up with this, but everyone who has a kid in America goes out and spends thousands of dollars on strollers and bassinets and bouncy balls and everything. There must just be a huge surplus of this stuff lying around. And not only that, it's not like it's not like a car. It's not like it's rusted out or worn through.

4:45 Drew You know what I mean? No, no, you wear them out pretty good. A little vomit, some stool. It's pretty, it does a little work to them. We sold our triplet stroller.

4:52 Adam You did?

4:52 Drew Triplet, oh yeah.

4:53 Adam One fat kid or someone with triplets?

4:55 Drew Someone with triplets.

4:56 Adam I see, very, very kind of you.

4:59 By the way, after taking care of twins, I just can't believe that you got triplets. I just, I can't imagine.

5:05 Drew It's insane. Always outnumbered. I told you, I told you.

5:09 Adam Oh, I couldn't, I couldn't imagine.

5:11 Drew So Ann's gonna lactate, watch Anderson.

5:15 Watch your eye.

5:16 Adam And the twins are doing well and do you have help at the house?

5:20 Yes, we do have a nanny.

5:21 Adam Oh, God, you'd have to. You'd have to. I want like three nannies when I have kids. I want my kids confused as to who their actual father and mother are.

5:31 Drew That's what they'll want too.

5:32 Adam At least their 18th birthday. Yeah. And then after that, it'll be a shock and disappointment when they find out it's the nappy headed one. All right. Well, we're glad to have producer Ann back and not a day too soon because the show is really heading into the garbage camp. Drew?

5:48 Drew Yeah.

5:48 Adam Let's see if we're going to press Ann tonight, all right?

5:51 Drew Oh, yeah. I'm sure we will.

5:52 Adam All right. All right.

5:53 Drew Let's go. Let's talk to Sarah.

5:54 Adam Sarah?

5:55 Yeah.

5:56 Adam What's up?

5:56 Hey. What's up, guys? I listen to your show all the time.

6:00 Thanks.

6:02 My question was about birth control.

6:05 I don't want to become one of your other pregnant and teenage colors. So my friends, my parents don't know I'm sexually active. So I don't know if I can get birth control without them knowing.

6:16 Drew You can, absolutely. After the age of 14, absolutely.

6:19 Adam In all states?

6:21 Drew As far as I know, all states. You certainly can go to Planned Parenthood. You can go to your family doctor. You are entitled to total confidential health care at this age. However, what you got to watch out for is if you use your parents' insurance.

6:33 Right.

6:33 Drew That's what I was thinking. Well, they'll get a notification that you were seen by the doctor, but the doctor cannot tell them what you were seen for.

6:40 Adam Also, they're going to do the math. Do you have a boyfriend?

6:45 Yes, I do.

6:45 Adam Does he have a paper route?

6:47 Does he have a paper route now?

6:48 Adam Does he work?

6:49 Yes, he does.

6:50 Adam What is birth control when you're paying for it? 30 bucks a month?

6:52 Drew 30, 35 bucks, yeah.

6:53 Well, the question was, my best friend, when she turned 14, her mom gave her some birth control, saying, I don't know what you're doing, but here's this just in case. She's not sexually active, so she's never had a reason to take it, and she said that she'd give it to me, but I was wondering if that would be safe.

7:10 Drew No, it's never safe to take somebody else's medication.

7:13 Adam Yeah, but listen, the stuff they were going to give you, they were going to give to someone else, you just walked in. You got to look at it that way, Drew.

7:20 Drew What pill is it? What is she on? Is she going to be sexually active? She needs to be checked out? She's at risk for cervical cancer?

7:26 She's got to be checked out?

7:27 Adam Well, hold on a second. This other girl's not sexually active, but has her mother got her subscription to birth control where it shows up every month? I mean, does she have one packet, or is it coming in every month?

7:40 I mean, I asked her, I said, how much do you have? She said enough for, I think she said half a year.

7:45 Adam Yeah, but what's the shelf life with that stuff, Drew? Can it sit around for a long time?

7:50 Drew It's at least 18 months. There's a date on it after which you can't use it. But Sarah, if your doctor prescribes a certain pill, then you talk to the doctor or the Planned Parenthood person about-

8:00 Yeah, I was thinking, I'm on the bear zone right now for my depression.

8:04 Drew That's interesting. All right, look, take the pill in that your friend has, and it might be a low-cost source of pill for you if the doctor is willing to go along with you on that. But you still need to be supervised.

8:15 Adam All right, so take the pill in and explain this is the one you want to take, and they'll explain how to take it and tell you if it's okay to take it, okay?

8:22 Drew Get the pap smear and that kind of stuff too.

8:24 Adam All right. Let's now talk to Angie. Angie is 13 years old. Angie?

8:29 Hi.

8:30 Adam Hey.

8:30 Hi, Adam.

8:32 Hi, Dr. Drew.

8:33 Drew Hi, Adam.

8:34 Adam Listen, Drew, you're going to make fun of every one of our callers for the speech impediment? The speech impediment? I don't know. I knew what you were saying. She's a little nervous, right, Angie?

8:42 Yeah.

8:42 Adam It's not often you talk to a big celebrity, is it?

8:45 No.

8:45 Adam There you go. What's up?

8:47 Drew Tonight's no exception.

8:48 Adam I didn't say it was.

8:50 Go ahead.

8:51 See, I've been going out with this guy, and he's bisexual. And like, my friend, she told me she's bisexual, too. So we went over to her house on Thursday, and we were making out and-

9:07 Drew Wait, wait, wait. Stop. You and the girl?

9:09 Yeah.

9:10 Drew How old is your boyfriend?

9:11 I think he's 13.

9:13 Adam You think? I think he is.

9:15 I think he is. I'm not sure.

9:16 I forgot.

9:17 Adam Oh, boy. First off, I don't believe you. Secondly, all you have to talk about when you're 13 and in a relationship is how old are you. That's the only thing you can talk about. I had a girlfriend at 13. That's all we talked about. How old are you? Yeah. What year were you born? How old are you? That's great. You are? I'm 13. How old are you again? Great. That's all you have to talk about. What do you mean you think he's 13?

9:40 Drew They have Pokemon.

9:42 Adam Okay. Oh, boy.

9:43 Drew They're still Pokemon. But listen, I believe her because I get this feeling of like a buoy floating around in the ocean cut adrift. Yeah. That's the feeling you get from her.

9:55 Adam A lot of seagull crap on it, by the way.

9:58 Drew Yeah, no doubt. Why are you sort of cut adrift without an anchor here, Angie? What's up with you? Me? Is your family okay? Do you have a family?

10:09 Yeah, I do have a family.

10:10 Adam Yeah? Are they alive?

10:12 Yes. All of them are alive.

10:13 Adam Now, what happened to you? I mean, what's up? You're 13. You got a bisexual boyfriend. You're bisexual too.

10:19 I'm not bisexual.

10:20 Adam Well, you said you're experimenting.

10:23 I just did it for fun.

10:25 Drew Yeah, just because of the whim of the kid she's around.

10:28 Adam Okay. Angie, you're on a fast track to Palookaville. Are the kids still talking that way, Drew?

10:35 Drew I don't know what's Palookaville.

10:37 Adam Angie, you never heard that term?

10:38 Drew No.

10:39 Adam Jesus Christ, are you dumb, Drew. Angie, you're going to get pregnant or worse. You're going to wake up dead and pregnant. You hear me?

10:48 Drew What is up with her though? Why so adrift? Why did you have any boundaries, Angie? Why can't you have judgment? Why don't you have any sense of yourself and what you do and don't need?

10:57 Adam Where's your dad and what did he do to you before he left?

11:00 My dad?

11:01 Adam Yeah.

11:02 Nothing.

11:02 Adam He's a good guy?

11:04 Not sort of.

11:05 Adam Sort of?

11:06 Yeah. He has hit me before and rarely talked to me, but that's it.

11:13 Drew Do you have like a million siblings or something?

11:16 I have only like three.

11:17 Adam Only three?

11:18 Yeah.

11:19 Adam All right. Hey Angie, be careful. I don't trust this guy and I don't trust you either, and you're going to get into trouble. You're going to get a venereal disease. You're going to get pregnant. You're going to get into trouble. You understand? Are you having intercourse with this guy?

11:34 I'm planning to.

11:36 Adam Can you give it about five years?

11:38 I don't.

11:39 Adam No, listen, Angie, please don't get pregnant.

11:43 Drew What do you get out of this relationship? What do you get out of having intercourse with this guy?

11:46 Adam Crabs. That's what she gets. Angie, listen.

11:50 Drew What do you get out of having intercourse with Dr. Drew?

11:52 Adam Come on, we're not going to get anywhere. Angie, just promise me you'll use protection, that you won't get pregnant, okay?

11:59 I won't get pregnant, I promise.

12:01 Adam Because you'll use protection, screwball. Oh, man, I could hear it in her voice. Oh, wait till I'm in power, Drew. She'll be one of the first I round up.

12:11 Drew You're going to line them up and sort of fire our plan into them, right?

12:14 Adam No, she's going to go into what I call reconditioning camp. I'm going to educate her. That's where I hold her eyes open with toothpicks while one of my aides drops eye drops in her eyes and I show her black and white footage of Nazis goose stepping.

12:29 Drew Too bad Kubrick is gone.

12:32 Adam Well, Wagner, Blair's in the background. Andrew?

12:37 Yeah.

12:37 Adam You're 13, what's up?

12:38 Caller I was wondering if those magnet bracelets that you see work because like there's iron in the blood.

12:45 Adam Very true. Very true. All I know is Evil Knievel was in a hell of a lot of pain before he got his. Now, he golfs three days a week and is a five handicap.

12:57 Caller No, not one of those ones, the ones, the bracelets with the magnets in them and the back.

13:01 Drew Andrew, it's an interesting theory but has no foundation in scientific fact. However, I will tell you anecdotally, I had a patient that had knee problems forever and he tried one of these, the wrist ones, and his knee pain got better. So I don't know. It doesn't bear up to scientific scrutiny, doesn't hurt. So don't expect anything other than joint pains to be affected by it.

13:23 Adam Let me ask you something for a second, Drew, because I was talking to some of the writers of the Man Show the other day about animas and colon health and all that stuff.

13:34 Drew I just want to just take in that image for a second. You walk in to that writers room.

13:38 Adam A bunch of guys in their early thirties talking about animas.

13:42 Drew Yeah. Of course, normally you talk about what? Brass and the-

13:45 Adam Well, when I go, I only go into the writers room to fart. When I have to fart, I go into the writers room, I stand in the room, I spin in a circle like one of those lawn sprinklers at the high school, and I fart in a circle. Usually I make it once, maybe once and a half around. But someone was talking about this whole colon stuff, and it was all the rage a few years ago, all this animus and all this anima therapy, and all this cleansing and all this. And all of this stuff makes sense.

14:18 Drew Makes sense?

14:19 Adam No, no, just listen to me.

14:21 Drew It appeals to some bizarre notions.

14:23 Adam Listen to me. I'm saying when you hear somebody talk about it, especially if you're a layman, and they say you eat and it all passes through this area, and you eat all these, all these toxins, and this grease, and all these carcinogens, and a plaque grows in there, and you start to think about it, and you go, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, Jesus Christ, you know, in the course of a lifetime, you eat 700 Big Macs, and you wash that down with some Mountain Dew. And of course, there's going to be some plaque down there. So once in a while, you flush out this plaque, you clean it out, and it's like changing the oil in your car, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and these toxins aren't re-released in your body, and you nod your head, and you go, yeah, okay, I buy that. And then you talk to a doctor, and he goes, it makes no difference. You know what I mean? And when they, it's the same thing, though. They go, listen, your blood has iron in it, the iron is magnetized, you put a magnetic bracelet on it, it pulls the circulation toward the magnetized zone, and it's all this stuff where you go, oh yeah, okay, that makes sense, but it doesn't work.

15:31 Drew Yeah, elemental iron does not have a magnetic pull to it. And iron is encased in hemoglobin in the case of iron in the blood.

15:38 Adam All right, but what about...

15:39 Drew The colon, if there are so many, if we all, which we all have such lousy dietary habits in this country, how come surgeons don't ever come across plaques when they're operating on the colon, number one? And number two, how come we do sigmoidoscopies on most people in this country every five years? We have them completely flushed out in a way that enemas cannot possibly do and we get every speck out of there. Doesn't make a difference. It just makes them feel weak.

16:02 Adam Really? That's right.

16:04 Drew We have to have it sparkling clean so we can go in and look around.

16:08 Adam What do they do? What do they use to get that out of there?

16:11 Drew One of the ways is something called colite, which is basically seawater and what you drink goes right through. They make you drink these large volumes and it's like turning a hose on quite literally. It just goes right through you.

16:23 Adam Yeah. I've done that before. I put the hose down there. Oh, I see. I see what you're saying.

16:27 Drew You went the other way though.

16:27 Adam Yeah. You're right. All right, buddy. Where are we going now?

16:30 Drew We're going to Kristen.

16:31 Adam All right. Listen, the only thing that works, little exercise and not being depressed. Kristen.

16:38 Yeah.

16:38 Adam Thank you. You're 17 years old.

16:40 Caller Yeah. I think that I might have herpes. I was just wondering how I go about getting checked without my parents finding out.

16:45 Drew Well, you heard it talking to somebody earlier that you have the right to confidential health care. Your parents may find out that you saw a doctor, but they have no right to know what you were seen for.

16:53 Caller Yeah, but see, then I would have to deal with all the questions, and I don't think that there's, because then they would ask why I went and everything, and I'm just afraid to deal with any of that.

17:02 Adam Why don't you go into a clinic then?

17:05 Drew Plan Parenthood.

17:06 Adam Yeah. Go to one of these free clinics.

17:08 Caller They're free.

17:09 Adam Well, they call them free clinics.

17:11 Drew They're essentially free. But are you sexually active?

17:14 Caller Yeah.

17:14 Drew Do your parents know you are? No. I mean, you could stop them in their tracks with that information, if you're ready to have that discussion.

17:22 Caller No. I would just rather not talk to them about that.

17:25 Adam Okay.

17:25 Drew That's a shame. That's a shame.

17:26 Adam Well, if she talked about them before, maybe she wouldn't have the hampies.

17:31 Drew Yeah. What makes you think you have hampies?

17:33 Caller Well, I have little blisters. I don't know if it's from something else or what. Where are they? On my vagina.

17:43 Drew Are they hurt? Yeah. You've had sex recently? Yeah.

17:48 Caller I did it a couple of times without protection. Sorry. I think that that's what it could be from. But, I mean, can you get it if you use protection anyway and there's an outbreak of it from the other person?

18:00 Drew Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

18:01 Caller You can?

18:02 Adam Yeah. It's not as easy, but you can still get it.

18:04 Drew Yeah. Condom is not a perfect way to prevent warts or herpes.

18:07 Adam Hey, Kristen? Going to one of these Planned Parenthood or women's clinics somewhere, they're usually run by lesbians. And just go in there and hop up on the stirrups and have them give a little look-see. Okay. Yeah.

18:21 Drew All right.

18:22 Adam Okay.

18:22 Drew Bye, Kristen. Good luck. Take care of it, okay? And you got to go in while you have symptoms, otherwise they can't really tell what you got. They have to look at it when you've got it.

18:28 Adam I had this yeast thing on my Johnson about, it must have been about eight years ago and I went to this lesbian clinic in Santa Monica.

18:36 Drew Eight years ago? You talked about it five years ago like it was ten years prior to that.

18:40 Adam Well, let me see. I was living in Santa Monica, an apartment. I was probably 27. Yeah, about eight years ago. I'm 35. The point is, it was a humiliating, degrading experience. So, that's my message to the kids. Phil? Yeah? You know what was really embarrassing is when I had to go across the street to the pharmacist and plop down 28 bucks for some topical cream. By the time I got home, the thing was gone. I swear to God, I wanted to sell this cream. I was so poor. I was like, does anyone need any topical yeast cream? I paid 28 bucks for it. I've used it twice. I'm going to let it go for 19 bucks. I should have had a yard sale for this crap. The old man was looking at me and he's going, you need yeast cream? I was like, yeah. She's like, for your girlfriend? No. For you?

19:41 Drew Seriously? He wasn't that far into it?

19:43 Adam It was like talking to Pops Larson meets your gym coach.

19:48 Drew That was the insanity of dealing with a pharmacist 10, 20 years ago.

19:52 Adam Oh, it was painful.

19:54 Drew Yeah. His job was to humiliate. Yeah.

19:56 Adam It was great. Well, they've changed a little bit.

19:58 Drew It still is that way, isn't it?

19:59 Adam Well, now it's not to communicate. Then it was to humiliate. I guess that's what it's like. You know what's funny about the pharmacist too? They're standing up on a foot and a half riser. So you're like looking up at them. It's sort of like you've approached the bench. Yeah. Or it's like St. Peter at the gate or something. And you're like, sir, I've come here to pick up my yeast ointment. Oh, I see. Your girlfriend is going to need the, it's for me. Oh, it's topical. Well, what? Oh, hold on. Thelma, get in here. Yeah. Yeah. Very humiliating. Phil.

20:42 Yeah.

20:42 Adam You're 28. What's up?

20:44 Caller Um, last week was my girlfriend's birthday and I bought her this machine a friend of mine told me about and it's called a Sibian.

20:55 Adam What's it called?

20:56 Caller A Sibian.

20:56 Adam How do you spell that?

20:58 Caller S-Y-B-I-A-N. And it's a sexual device. Kind of like they call it an O-saddle.

21:07 Drew What the hell?

21:09 Adam An O-saddle.

21:10 Caller Yeah.

21:11 Adam All right. And what do you do with it?

21:14 Caller She like sets on it and it gyrates and pumps and everything else.

21:19 Adam I see. How much did that set you back?

21:22 Caller About $700.

21:23 Drew Oh, my God.

21:25 Adam What is this thing?

21:26 Caller Well, I haven't seen her since that night.

21:28 Drew Well, wait. What is it? Wait, wait. What is this thing?

21:31 Caller It's a sexual device.

21:33 Drew Yeah, I understand. Yeah.

21:34 Adam God, Phil, are you fully retarded or is it just like a partial tard? What is this thing?

21:41 Caller It's a machine.

21:43 Drew Okay. That settles it then.

21:45 Adam Hey, hey, Phil, Phil, let me explain something, all right? Just keep quiet for a second. If I came on a goddamn radio show and described something that no one has ever heard of and no one has ever seen, and then explained that I spent an absorbent amount of money for it, and they kept saying to me, how does it work? I would then describe to them how it works and what it was. Not just keep going back to it. If I said, I got this thing and it plugs into my car cigarette lighter and it cost me $1,000.

22:19 Drew Wow, what is that, Adam?

22:20 Adam It plugs into the cigarette lighter.

22:22 Drew What does it look like?

22:23 Adam It cost $1,000.

22:26 Drew What is it?

22:27 Adam It plugs into the lighter.

22:28 Drew It's the thing that plugs into the lighter?

22:30 Adam Yeah, that's right. It does.

22:31 Drew Oh, now I got it.

22:32 Adam There you go.

22:34 Caller Okay, this is what it does. It pumps up and down and in the head of a gyro rig at the same time. Okay.

22:43 Adam And she sits on it like a saddle with her legs on either side of it?

22:48 Caller Yeah.

22:48 Adam So it wouldn't be like sitting on a whoopee cushion. It'd be like sitting on a saddle.

22:53 Caller Yeah.

22:54 Adam And is it raised off the ground then?

22:56 Caller Yeah, it's raised up about maybe a foot.

22:58 Drew Is it like leather or plastic, like a saddle?

23:01 Caller It's got like a leather, you know, a leather seat to it.

23:04 Adam Yeah.

23:05 Drew What's motorized? What is it that, I mean, what's it, you know what I mean? Is it vibrating?

23:08 Caller I guess by a little compressor and some little motor in the top of it.

23:12 Adam Nice. And it's lactating again.

23:15 Drew Where did you hear about this thing?

23:16 Adam And— From a friend of mine. I see. And where do you order it?

23:21 Caller Monticello, Illinois.

23:23 Adam And is it via— Naturally, when I say, where does he order it? He names the town in which it's manufactured. Jesus Christ. I hope you don't have a job where you have to talk to people. You got to swing a hammer or something. You put up siding?

23:37 Caller No.

23:37 Adam What do you do?

23:38 Caller I'm a chef.

23:39 Adam A chef?

23:40 Caller Yes.

23:41 Adam All right. You sling hash, though, right? You're not a real chef.

23:44 Caller No, a chef chef.

23:45 Adam Chef chef? You got one of those tall hats?

23:47 Caller Oh, yes.

23:47 Adam All right. I stand corrected. Here's the point. Where did you find this thing? Is it in a magazine? Is it in one of those sex magazines?

23:55 Caller Well, he gave me an ad for it.

23:57 Adam Where was it from? Field and Stream? Or was it from Hustler?

24:01 Caller I don't know what magazine it came out of.

24:03 Adam And you just plopped down 700 bucks because your buddy gave you an ad?

24:08 Caller Well, I sent off, you know, for a brochure and they sent me the brochure back and it looked pretty cool. So me and her enjoyed it the first night.

24:17 Adam What did you do with it?

24:19 Drew Why were you even necessary?

24:22 Adam Well, someone had to plug it in. Someone had to hand her Gatorade and towel her off. Alright, so this thing was going around and she's sitting on it and now you haven't spoken to her.

24:33 Caller No.

24:34 Adam You probably killed her.

24:36 Caller Well, I talked to her sister and her sister hasn't seen her either.

24:40 Drew Oh my God. You're trying to make us believe that she's sort of held up with this saddle somewhere.

24:47 Caller I don't know.

24:48 Drew Is that what you're implying?

24:50 Adam What are you implying?

24:51 Caller I don't know. What do you all think?

24:55 Adam Well, I would assume that she's been abducted or something. I don't think she's-

25:00 Caller I don't want to go to her work and bother her at work.

25:03 Adam Yeah. I think maybe-

25:05 Caller I'll catch her after that.

25:07 Adam Maybe she wants to break up with you, Phil.

25:11 Caller Maybe.

25:12 Adam Okay. Well, Phil, are you calling her and she won't call you back?

25:15 Caller Yeah. I just keep getting the answering service.

25:17 Adam Well, why don't you just leave a message and here's the message you leave, Phil. Are you ready?

25:22 Caller Yeah.

25:22 Adam Do not talk about the sex saddle.

25:25 Yeah.

25:26 Adam Say that you've called. It's been going on a week now. You're worried. You fear that something may have happened to her. And if she could please just call you back and let you know that she's okay. Okay? Okay. All right, Phil. Oh, could you imagine leaving all of that, Drew?

25:43 Drew Yeah, I can't imagine why she wants to.

25:44 Adam She must have been abducted by bikers or something. There's no way you walk away from Phil. I mean, when you get a guy like Phil, you hang on with both hands and you don't let go. You know what I'm saying?

25:57 Drew Yeah, I can't understand. I cannot figure it any other way.

26:00 Adam Yeah, something happened. I fear the worst, Drew. I fear-

26:03 Drew Adam, I'm telling you.

26:04 Adam I think she was on a sailboat and the boom swung around and knocked her overboard. I couldn't see her just leaving Phil. No, that's impossible. All right. With that smell of onions in his cuticles every night, coming over with that velvety smooth tongue of his and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. By the way, I think Phil can actually does whisper sweet nothings. I think he just says nothing. All right, we'll take a little break. Drew, you all right over there?

26:34 Drew I'm great.

26:34 Adam Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

26:38 Drew How about Mike?

26:40 Adam Mike. Go ahead.

26:43 Drew Heard that once you have sex on Ecstasy, you will never have another orgasm.

26:47 Adam He may be right. We'll find out after this.

26:49 You're about to get funky, yo.

26:52 This is Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191.

26:55 Drew Oh, we'll be right back.

27:30 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. 311 is coming in here a little bit later in the week, and we're going to talk to Mike who's 17. Mike?

27:44 Caller Adam, Drew, how's it going?

27:46 Adam Good. How are you doing?

27:47 I'm doing pretty good.

27:48 Caller I just want to tell you I'm a former longtime listener, second time caller.

27:51 Adam Fantabulous.

27:52 Drew Former longtime listener.

27:53 Caller Yeah, I live in Nevada now. We don't get the radio station.

27:56 Adam Oh, that's rough.

27:57 Caller Yeah, I miss it.

27:59 Adam Where are you calling from?

28:00 Caller Fallon, Nevada.

28:01 Adam Where?

28:02 Caller Fallon.

28:03 Adam Fallon?

28:04 Caller Yeah.

28:04 Adam That sounds like a hellhole.

28:06 Caller Oh, it's tons of fun.

28:08 Adam Really?

28:08 Drew What's it near?

28:09 Caller No, it's not fun at all. I'm just being sarcastic. It's about 45 minutes past Reno.

28:15 Adam I'd sue my parents if they moved me to Nevada.

28:18 Drew To Winamucca?

28:21 Caller Winamucca is quite a ways.

28:23 Adam Okay. Is that near Steppacrapa?

28:27 Caller Yeah, something like that.

28:29 Adam So what's going on there, Mike?

28:31 Caller Okay, well, I heard that if you do ecstasy and you have sex while you're on ecstasy, that you will not be able to have an orgasm unless you're on ecstasy.

28:39 Adam Ever again?

28:40 Caller Yeah. I mean, it's just like overwhelming or something and it just dries your senses or something.

28:46 Drew No. It does literally fry your senses. It actually is a burnout of certain pathways in the brain caused by ecstasy. But I know of no evidence that it prevents you from having orgasm again or from experiencing sex in any meaningful way.

29:00 Adam No, it's ridiculous. It's recocculus as I like to say. All right. Have fun during the summer over there, Mike. Robin? Yeah? I hate hot places. I would kill myself if I was in some dust bowl in Nevada.

29:12 Drew You imagine living in Arizona?

29:14 Adam Kill myself. I kill. I mean, it gets like 118 degrees. I would fall into such a depression.

29:22 Drew Although we had an assignment in Tucson, remember?

29:24 Adam No.

29:25 Drew Yes.

29:26 Adam Oh, yeah.

29:26 Drew What?

29:27 Adam Yeah, that's right. I've been to Tucson twice. I saw the ugly seedy underbelly of it the first time I was there. But the second time I was there with you, it was nice. But I couldn't imagine being there during the summer. Robin, you're 17 years old.

29:39 Caller Yeah.

29:39 Adam What's up?

29:40 Caller Hi. I think I have a prescription drug addiction to codeine, Percocet, things like that. But I'm not sure if I actually have the problem or if I'm just thinking I do just to sabotage my relationship.

29:57 Drew Well, it's sort of rare that somebody imagines they have a problem with a drug like an opiate. Are you using them every day?

30:05 Caller Yes.

30:06 Drew You have a problem.

30:08 Adam How long have you been using them every day?

30:11 Caller About two months.

30:14 Adam What got you started on it? Trip to the dentist?

30:17 Caller Well, my mother is very sick and she has ongoing Tylox prescription and I've taken to faking headaches and stuff and stealing her pills.

30:30 Drew What is she sick with? Robin, what is she ill with?

30:38 Caller She's got, her kidneys and pancreas are failing. She's got hip problems, knee problems.

30:46 Drew What do you mean her kidneys and pancreas are failing?

30:49 Caller She's had a kidney transplant and it's not doing very well anymore and she's trying to get a pancreas transplant. The diabetes is like wreaking havoc on her body.

31:00 Drew Okay, all right.

31:02 Adam All right. So Robin, so you're probably going to have to try to get off of this stuff.

31:08 Drew Well, you're going to have to be treated. Opiate addiction is not something that gets better magically. I, in fact, will not treat it as an outpatient. You have to come in a hospital to be treated, in my opinion.

31:16 Adam But you get to leave later that day, right?

31:19 Drew Not the same day. And I'm not saying that nobody would try, but I've had just abysmal success with trying to treat opiates as an outpatient. It is a profound biology and it must be treated. All right.

31:29 Adam So what does she do?

31:31 Drew She has to talk to her doctor.

31:32 Adam She doesn't have a doctor. Well, she probably does because her mom probably has a team of doctors.

31:36 Drew Yeah. And she needs to get referred to a addictionologist. Absolutely.

31:40 Adam All right. But you understand, Drew, a lot of people don't have doctors.

31:43 Drew Well, then I understand what you're asking me. In other words, how do you enter the health care system?

31:49 Adam Well, yeah. How do you find someone if you don't have a doctor, you have an addiction problem, you don't know where to turn. I mean, can you open the phone book? Can you look under addiction?

31:59 Drew It's hard to do that. You could go to a university, and they usually have a psychiatric department with addiction medicine people there. You can go to a family doctor or an internist and ask around somebody has a doctor they like and they can communicate with, go to that person and establish a relationship.

32:14 Adam I think a lot of our, I know because I come from that kind of environment. I never had insurance, I never had a doctor. I wouldn't have known. I wouldn't have had anything. I couldn't, I wouldn't know where to go.

32:23 Drew No, that's an important point.

32:25 Adam Henry?

32:26 Yes.

32:26 Adam Yeah. Let me go down to County USC and get the cramp kicked at him. What's up there, Henry?

32:31 Hey, what's going on guys?

32:32 Adam You're 21. What's?

32:33 Caller Yeah. I live with a roommate that I'm pretty sure he's gay. He keeps trying to pick up on me. I don't know how to handle it. I'm not into that. I just don't know what to do.

32:45 Adam How do you know he's gay?

32:47 Caller Well, he walks around naked a lot in front of me. He bends over a lot. I don't know what to do.

32:54 Adam He does not bend over a lot.

32:56 Drew You're being so full of crap.

32:57 Adam We all know. Let me tell you how I spot the gays. They spread the ass cheeks right in front of me. They make an excuse, the drop a coin or wallet or something. Then they bend over. As they bend over, the pants sling down. Then they spread the ass cheeks and expose the anus trying to tempt me into their dark lair.

33:15 Drew Doesn't that just mean plumber?

33:16 Adam Oh, yeah. It usually means contractor.

33:19 Caller I love you guys, man. You're the greatest.

33:20 Adam All right, Henry.

33:21 Caller Take it easy.

33:22 Adam Stop screwing with us, you idiot. Screwball bends over. But I just I love this sort of retarded male mentality. Geez, how do I know he's gay? Oh, he's constantly bending over and showing me his rectum.

33:38 Drew So ridiculous.

33:39 Adam And he had a welcome mat sewn on to the back of his testicles so that when he friendly bends over, it sort of beckons me in. All right, Jim.

33:50 Caller What's up?

33:52 Adam What's up there, Jimmy 28?

33:54 Caller Hey, I got like this two part question. Have you ever heard of, you know, I got good news and bad news? I got like a question for Dr. Drew, and then I have another one for you, Adam.

34:06 Adam All right.

34:07 Drew So presumably I'm the bad news. Go ahead.

34:09 Caller No, actually, well, it's just two questions, really.

34:13 Adam Go right ahead.

34:13 Caller OK, I'll go with Adam first.

34:15 Adam Fine.

34:18 Caller When I'm with my girl, well, a girl, somebody I care about or whatever in a relation with, it takes a while for me to achieve orgasm, and they can do everything under the sun.

34:32 Right.

34:33 Drew But most guys wish for that problem.

34:36 Adam That's right. Don't cut them off.

34:38 Caller Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm cool with that.

34:40 Drew Put it in context.

34:41 Caller But what I'm saying is now when I'm, okay, there's a couple of times I've journeyed off into like adult video stores, you know? And they-

34:52 Drew Wait, hold on. Slow down. Adam, I don't think you understand what that is.

34:56 Caller Adult video?

34:57 Adam Yeah, I'm hip. I've heard.

34:59 Caller Okay.

34:59 Adam I read an article in JAMA on it recently.

35:02 Caller In fact, I thought I saw, um, Drew, I mean, had him in one one time. That's what prompted me to go in.

35:08 Adam What city are you in?

35:09 Caller Oh, I can't tell you that.

35:10 Adam All right.

35:11 Drew Well, I was going to tell you if he was at the store.

35:13 Adam I would have told you if I was there. All right. So, Jim, when you go into these adult video stores, you're able to take care of yourself?

35:19 Caller No, no, no, no. Someone else take care of it for me.

35:22 Adam Oh, they do.

35:22 Caller Of the same gender. And it happens a lot quicker. I mean, within like seconds, you know?

35:29 Drew Wait, wait, wait. I'm not...

35:30 Caller Let me tell you, I don't feel like I'm homosexual, you know?

35:34 Adam I understand. Well, you may not be, but your Johnson is. So, you go into a, is it a gay adult video store?

35:42 Caller It's just a, you know, anyone can go in type thing, you know?

35:46 Adam Right. And how do they take care of you? Do you go into one of those booths?

35:49 Caller Yeah, you know, them booths and you watch a video and then somebody opens the door and says, oops, I'm sorry. And then you kind of still do your thing. And then they walk in and then they do their thing for you.

35:58 Adam Now, is there thing oral sex or is it the hand?

36:02 Caller The hand, yeah.

36:03 Adam The hand, I see. And wow, and you can achieve an orgasm that way faster than being with a woman.

36:10 Drew Yeah. Are women threatening you in some way? Even though your sexual orientation may be towards women, maybe there's something about women that is particularly sort of No, I mean, I'm very attractive to women, you know.

36:21 Adam Let me ask you this, Jim. I have a good hypothetical question for you. What if you were with a woman that you just met, you'd had no feelings for and it was almost just like a prostitute? Do you think you'd be able to have a quicker orgasm with that woman?

36:38 Caller Well, now that you use that analogy, I did have that experience a couple of times and yeah, and it does happen a lot quicker.

36:46 Drew That's what I think.

36:47 Adam There you go. So a little bit frightened of the intimacy part of it.

36:51 Drew Well, and he's frightened of women. There's some major stuff going on here. Turn over the cards, Jim. What's going on with you? You've been hospitalized or something?

37:00 Caller Never.

37:01 Adam Where's your mom? You like your mama? Yeah. Everything's good? She never smothered you with her large breasts or anything like that?

37:09 No.

37:10 Adam No.

37:10 No.

37:11 Adam All right. So listen, here's my hypotheses here, Drew. I'll put Jim on hold for a second. He's a little scared of intimacy. So when he's with a woman, shush up. When he's with a woman that he has feelings for, the orgasm is a little slower coming out. When he's with a prostitute or even a guy, no problems because no strings attach and no long-term prospect there.

37:36 Drew Fine. So he's scared.

37:38 Adam Right. So why? I don't know. I don't care. I'm just giving the answer.

37:42 Drew Well, it takes a specific form here because of some unresolved issues about his parents. I mean, really serious unresolved stuff.

37:50 Adam Okay.

37:50 Drew Guilt and sort of feelings of annihilation and consumption by women.

37:54 Adam It's getting a little cathartic now. Slow down. You're showing too much of your hand. You know what I'm saying, buddy?

37:59 Drew Are we going to break or are we going to go home?

38:01 Adam I know Jim had a second question, but he used up too much time on the first question. Who are we going to talk to and then we'll go to break? Kenya?

38:08 Yeah.

38:08 Adam You're 17?

38:09 Caller Yeah.

38:10 Adam Doctor said you're pregnant. Is you're still getting your period?

38:13 Caller Exactly.

38:15 Adam That might not be your period.

38:17 Caller What is it then?

38:18 Drew It's maybe an emergency, but we can talk about it.

38:21 Adam All right. Here's how we handle emergencies. We're going to put you on hold. I'm going to urinate, get something to eat. We'll come in, we'll make 20 minutes of small talk and then we'll get back to you.

38:31 Drew All right.

38:32 Adam We'll see how your internal bleeding and possible miscarriage is going. Okay. We're going to take a break and we'll get back to Kenya after this. We'll get back with Kenya after this.

38:48 Drew Love Line will be right back.

39:22 Adam It's the Loveline. Adam Carolla is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. And let's get back to the phones and speak to Kenya. Kenya 17. Doctor said she was pregnant, so I'm guessing she's pregnant.

39:34 Drew How long ago was that?

39:36 Caller Excuse me?

39:37 Drew How long ago was it you were told you were pregnant?

39:40 Caller How long ago? Oh, boy. Well, I got tested February 19th, I believe. And because I usually get my period February 10th, you know, like, each, like, the 10th and stuff. And I noticed I was late, so I went to go get tested and tested out positive. But later on that month, you know, I got my period. And I've been getting it ever since.

40:02 Drew On schedule.

40:03 Caller And yeah, on schedule.

40:05 Drew Well, it's possible that that period after you had been sort of deemed pregnant was a miscarriage. The problem with bleeding early in a pregnancy is it can be something called first trimester bleeding, which means the problem with bleeding early in a pregnancy is it can be an impending miscarriage or it can be an ectopic pregnancy, which is a potential emergency where a fetus begins developing in the fallopian tube. The tube can burst. You can bleed to death. So you haven't been back to see your doctor since then?

40:36 Caller No, because I've been really wondering and I've been kind of scared because I'm like, if I'm supposed to be pregnant, then why am I doing it?

40:43 Drew So that's why you didn't go see your doctor?

40:46 Caller Yeah, because I was kind of scared because besides I'm young, I'm 17, and I definitely don't need a kid right now.

40:54 Drew Let me ask the question again. Why haven't you seen the doctor?

40:57 Caller Like I said, I don't want the test to come back positive.

41:01 Drew It already did.

41:03 Caller I know, but I mean like, because I was kind of hoping it would be like a total fake or maybe it was a mistake or whatever.

41:09 Drew Help me, help me.

41:11 Adam Kenny, do you have some sort of beads or something you could rub, something lucky, something scientific that you could do like that? I'm saying something proactive. No.

41:22 Caller Not really.

41:23 Drew Magnets.

41:24 Adam Listen, instead of keeping your fingers crossed, why don't you keep your legs crossed? Write that down, Drew.

41:29 That was solid.

41:30 Adam Listen, goofball, you got to go back to the doctor because here are your choices. You're either not pregnant or you are pregnant and there's something seriously wrong. Either way, you need to know. The doctor, and I know this may be shocking to you, cannot make you pregnant if you're not actually pregnant.

41:49 Drew I know.

41:50 Adam Unless he rapes you in his office, which is a possibility.

41:53 Drew But this kind of denial is really, really.

41:55 Adam Yeah. You wonder how she got pregnant the first time with this kind of denial.

42:00 Drew Just kind of thinking.

42:00 Adam Hey, Kenya, go to the goddamn doctor, you goofball. A, number one. B, number two. With your way of thinking, I'm guessing you're going to be pregnant in the next four to six months anyway, so you better just start buying baby clothes.

42:15 Drew Look into adoption. If you're hell-bent on getting pregnant, at least don't keep the child.

42:18 Adam All right. Go to the doctor, goofball. This could be something very dangerous.

42:23 Drew Jesse.

42:24 Yeah. Man. My question is, my left testicle, it swells and it's really starting to freaking annoy me.

42:37 Drew Well, wait a minute. It's gotten enlarged?

42:40 Yeah. It's gotten bigger than a baseball.

42:42 Drew However, what period of time is it enlarged like that?

42:46 It's like that all the time.

42:48 Drew It's always been that way?

42:50 Yeah. It's like whenever I lay down and stuff, I went to the hospital and they said the only thing they could do was remove it.

42:56 Drew So did they say what it was within the scrotum that was enlarging like that?

43:02 All I know is whenever I feel it, it's like a sack around it. Besides the scrotum, just like a sack.

43:10 Drew Yeah. Let me stay back to with what you were told when you were at the hospital. Did they say what was causing the enlargement? It wasn't a hernia? Did they use the word cystosil or spermatosil or hydrosil, anything like that? Well.

43:27 No.

43:28 Adam But is it bigger than it was a year ago?

43:33 Yeah, it's bigger than it was a year ago.

43:36 Drew Did they talk about putting a needle in it and draining it?

43:39 They, mm-mm.

43:40 Caller No.

43:41 Drew That's one thing they can do if it is one of these cysts. But that kind of thing, again, it's one of about three or four different things. One is a fluid-filled body, and the other would be some growth like a tumor, and then finally hernia. But boy, I would sure suggest he get back and have it properly taken care of. It doesn't sound like he understood at all what they were telling him.

44:01 Adam No, and on the other side of the story is he said it was the size of a baseball or bigger than a baseball, which I can't really imagine.

44:11 Drew Some people come in with grapefruits.

44:13 Adam The point is he has to go in and get it looked at again. I don't know why he's even calling. John?

44:19 Caller Yes.

44:20 Adam You're 23. What's up?

44:23 Caller I fantasize a lot about women urinating, and I don't know if that's normal.

44:31 Drew It seems to be normal these days, Adam.

44:32 Adam Yes. I know if you've looked at any of the penthouses or hustlers, there's a lot of urine going on. As a matter of fact, they've taken it to the next step. I don't know if you've seen this issue of hustler. I think it's April's issue. There's actually scratch and sniff urine sample in there. You actually can smell urine while you're masturbating.

44:52 Caller Now, I like to urinate on myself sometimes.

44:56 Adam Listen, hold on a second. Drew, I was having this conversation with somebody.

45:01 Drew Another writer at the Man Show?

45:03 Adam No. Actually, I was with Jimmy and I was talking to a guy who wrote for Hustler and I was saying to him, what is it with all the urination? Because I got to believe that 90 percent of the male population is not as interested in urination as these magazines would depict. Then I said, isn't it about just pushing the envelope? I mean, just moving forward. I mean, we had Naked Chick Spread Eagle 20 years ago. We got to keep going. How can we keep going? Let's keep going with the urination. And I really do think the scratch and sniff urine has got to be right around the corner.

45:38 Drew Well, but I think you're right. I think, though, that perhaps because people have been so hyper stimulated by all this crap, though, maybe they actually need that for the kinds of arousal that in the old days would be caused by looking at a French postcard.

45:51 Adam Yes, well, or me, the Vegas ad in the back of the sports page. Or even worse, the chick on the raft box at Big Five. You know you've sunk to a new low when you're masturbating to the chick in the one piece who's floating on the raft in the back of the raft box at the Big Five during the summer clearance sale.

46:15 Drew What frightens me is I know you did that.

46:17 Adam Yes, I certainly did.

46:19 Thank you very much.

46:21 Drew I was speaking in colleges this week and I was thinking about these women's magazines and the way they portray women, what a bad influencer. I realized, you know what? The reason there is a man show is because of these goddamn women's magazines.

46:32 Adam Thank you very much.

46:34 Drew There needs to be a response to the over... It's like Cosmos become a parody of itself.

46:40 Adam Absolutely.

46:41 Drew You know what I mean? So now you need something to parody the male perspective.

46:43 Adam All right. Well, the point is if you fantasize about women urinating, that's fine. If you need someone to urinate on you in order to achieve an orgasm, maybe that's not fine. Let me just make sure. John?

46:55 Drew It's Woody Allen would say.

46:56 Adam How... pardon the pun, how deep are you into this?

46:59 Caller Well, to give you kind of an example, it's not just women urinating. I like to urinate on myself and roll around in it.

47:05 Adam Well, I do that when I'm drunk. I mean, I just wet the bed.

47:09 Caller No, I'm being serious. I like to roll around in it.

47:11 Adam Where do you urinate? How do you roll around in it?

47:14 Caller Bathtub.

47:16 Adam Do you fill the tub with urine or do you cut it with some water?

47:21 Caller Usually just straight.

47:22 Adam Yeah, just lie there and pee on yourself?

47:24 Drew Straight up.

47:25 Adam Is that sexually arousing to you?

47:28 Drew Yeah.

47:30 Adam He's goofing off. All right, screwball. Jesus Christ. We have more screwball BS calls in this show in the last week than I remember in the last year. All right, we're going to take a little breakthrough. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

47:42 Drew Nobody.

47:43 Adam Yeah, we'll speak to Iris. She's 16. She goes deaf after having sex.

47:47 Drew What's wrong with that? Joe. Joe.

47:49 Adam I thought you said no one swapped wife with friend. Now he's having feelings for other woman. Oh, they did wife swapping. All right.

47:57 Drew I was just disgusted with our collars. That's all.

47:59 Adam Okay, we'll get to Joe after this.

48:03 Drew Love line, LeBanachrol and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

48:38 Caller Yeah, this is the Love Line.

48:40 Adam We're going to take a quick ten second time out, and then we'll be back with more of the fabulous program in just ten seconds.

49:01 Adam Get It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191-311 will be in at the end of the week. Chris Hardwick is going to come in here on Wednesday night. You remember him from The Newlywed Game. What the hell is that game show he was on for a thousand years on MTV? Singled out? Yeah. Chris is an old friend of mine, and as it turns out, we're in a movie together that I forgot I did.

49:29 Caller Oh my God.

49:31 Drew Is that what he's promoting?

49:32 Adam Yeah. Apparently, this movie that we did like four years ago is somehow resurfaced. I'm currently having my people buy up all the copies and burn them. But Chris has a big part in it, and he's going to come in here and we're going to promote that. Drew, I watched the movie start to finish Saturday night. That you and I are in with Brooke Shields, and DB. Sweeney, and a couple of other people.

49:57 Drew Did you watch with anybody else?

49:59 Adam No.

49:59 Drew Just yourself?

49:59 Adam I watched myself.

50:01 Drew I'm just curious what any other humans thought of it other than you.

50:04 Adam Oh, well, I thought we were-

50:05 Drew I know you're enamored with your own performance, I'm sure.

50:08 Adam Well, the problem is, is when I watch a movie, I just sort of, if I'm in it, I just tunnel in on myself, and then it goes black when I'm not on the screen, which was the majority of the movie.

50:19 Drew Was it any good?

50:20 Adam Yeah, the movie was well done. It was a real movie, had the songs in it, you heard and people you recognized, and it looked like they used a regular camera and everything, and it was good.

50:31 How's that for suck?

50:32 Adam It was a regular movie.

50:34 Drew Was it Joe?

50:35 Adam No, just keep talking.

50:37 Drew Is there going to be a premiere we have to go to?

50:40 Adam I'm sure if they had it, they've already had it. We're not going anywhere, if that's what you're asking. Didn't we already, you know what I was thinking about, Ann, I'm glad you're here tonight and back with us in general, but when I was driving home from Loveline a couple of nights ago, didn't we win some sort of a billboard national show of the year or maybe it was something less than that? But the point is-

51:05 No, it was a billboard award, yes.

51:06 Adam Didn't we win something?

51:07 Yes.

51:08 Adam And wasn't it like, I don't know, eight months ago?

51:11 Yeah, five, six months ago.

51:12 Adam And didn't I make the announcement at that time that we wouldn't see a plaque, there wouldn't be an award ceremony, there wouldn't be anything.

51:19 You know what?

51:20 Adam What?

51:20 I have a plaque on my desk.

51:22 Adam Oh, you do?

51:22 That I saw for the first time today.

51:24 Adam Oh, really? It's beautiful. Funny that I bring that up. Is it because it's been sitting there for four months?

51:30 Yeah, it wasn't there when I left and then it's there today.

51:32 Adam But could it have been there for the last four or five months?

51:35 Yes, I'm sure it was.

51:36 Adam I see. Anderson, you have something to say?

51:38 Caller Yeah, Max brought it in, you're a stoner.

51:40 Adam He showed it to you and you said, thanks, Max, get out.

51:42 Drew Oh, I did? He asked for his own version of it.

51:46 Adam Oh, I did?

51:47 Drew Yeah.

51:47 Adam What did Max show me?

51:50 Drew A little Lucite acrylic thing.

51:53 Adam Who decided, and I'm guessing there's some Lucite board that got hold of all these companies and boards that hand these awards out, but everything is made of Lucite these days. I don't know what that is. We got our Shine Awards, they're pillars of Lucite. So the point is, we don't get an award ourselves, right? We just get the sort of general one for the show? Yeah. Okay. Good enough. In the ceremony, that's coming up?

52:18 Yeah.

52:19 Adam I want to know where to rent the tux, not this weekend?

52:21 Drew No.

52:21 Adam Okay.

52:22 Skip it.

52:22 Adam All right. Somehow I knew, Drew, that even though it sounded like a pretty prestigious award, we wouldn't actually see anything from it.

52:31 Drew As usual, it has nothing to do with us.

52:33 Adam I see. Okay.

52:34 Drew You know what I mean?

52:35 Adam I understand. That's true. It doesn't. Joe?

52:38 Yes. Good evening, gentlemen.

52:40 Adam You're 27?

52:41 Caller Yes, sir.

52:42 Adam What's your nationality?

52:44 Caller South American, sir.

52:45 Adam I see. What part of South America are you from?

52:48 Caller Venezuela.

52:49 Adam That's my hometown. I went to Venezuela High.

52:53 Caller Okay.

52:53 Adam Great.

52:54 Caller I think I remember you as a matter of fact.

52:55 Adam Yeah. I went to VH.

52:57 Caller Okay.

53:00 Adam Where are you living now?

53:02 Caller Southern California.

53:03 Adam I see. Should we be shipping you back or are you here legally?

53:07 Caller No. Luckily, I'm a USA citizen.

53:09 Adam All right. You did a little wife swapping, did you?

53:14 Caller Before anything, I just would like to say thank you very much for taking my call. I thank very highly both of you guys, Dr. Drew as well as well as you, Adam. You guys are very awesome.

53:23 Adam Thank you.

53:24 Caller That's what I got for you guys.

53:25 Adam Well, it's our pleasure. Anything to keep those awards coming in.

53:29 Caller I don't blame you guys.

53:29 Adam I polish mine every day before I leave the house.

53:33 Caller Yeah, I was telling your screener that I think this is something kind of stupid that I've done myself as well as my wife. Basically, we met this couple and we've known each other for almost a year now. Well, one thing led to another and next thing you know we're in the same room. We pretty much just starting to get a little, drinking a little bit, having a good time and well, it happened. My wife and I starting to have intercourse, of course. Because I think we were drunk, obviously. We were kind of out of our minds. Then this other couple, they were obviously, they tried to fit in the picture and they were starting to do their own thing as well. Next thing we know, we're getting close to each other. The couples are getting next to each other and boom. Next thing happens, we swap. And after that, we really didn't say much to each other after that. Next thing happened, next time it did happen again. Probably about a month after that, it did happen again. And it seemed like every time it did happen. I personally try to, you know, like, I love my wife dearly. I do. And I don't have nothing else but my wife in my mind. But we have done it three times. And the thing is that I'm not, I'm starting to have some kind of weird feeling towards this other person.

55:02 Drew Well, evidently, your wife's having some feeling towards the other guy, too.

55:07 Caller Well, it is obvious that I guess there have to be some sort of attraction, some physical attraction in all parties, I assume.

55:14 Adam Well, furthermore, though, when women have sex with guys, it's usually more than just a physical attraction.

55:19 Drew You bet, you bet. Unless your wife's got some history that we need to know.

55:23 Caller Now, a quick question, does your wife have any history? Obviously, we're talking from a man point of view. Obviously, a woman will say differently. A woman will say, a woman knows what love is, and a woman knows what sex is. What do you think about that?

55:37 Adam Well, listen, here's quite down over there, Drew, who's the doctor? Here's our experience. When a woman is having sex with a man, she either is interested in the man in more than just a physical way, there's an emotional attachment, or she's pretty chaotic, a little screwed up, and has a little bit of a history, and is able just to do it without any emotional strings attached. So, does she have any history that we need to know about?

56:06 Caller Well, you know what, to be honest with you, I know her very well. Well, I probably shouldn't say that, but as far as I know, I know her well. And to be honest with you, she comes from a very well family. And I've never seen or known anything wrong with her.

56:24 Adam Never done anything chaotic? I mean, you know, out of the ordinary. Strange.

56:28 Drew No alcoholism in the family?

56:30 Adam Well, listen, they're from South America. Everyone over there is drunk. Please, Drew.

56:36 Drew Is there alcoholism? Because addicts behave like this, too. That's another way that you get to this kind of stuff.

56:43 Caller No, no, there isn't. I mean, yeah, they're family drinks, but they don't have an alcoholism problem.

56:48 Adam All right. So what do you want to do? Now, do you have children?

56:51 Caller No, we don't.

56:52 Adam Yeah. How long have you been married?

56:54 Caller Three years.

56:55 Adam Three years. And you think you're falling in love with this woman?

56:57 Caller Yes, sir.

56:58 Adam And what do you think would happen if you said to this woman, if you're able to contact her away from her husband and said, how about just me and you sneak away sometime? What do you think her answer would be?

57:08 Caller Personally, I wouldn't do that.

57:10 Drew But what do you think if you hypothesize, if you just guessed what her reaction would be? Would she go for that?

57:15 Caller I don't know. I don't know.

57:17 Drew Adam, of course she would. Adam, come on.

57:18 Adam Of course she would. I guess she would. Listen, Joe, here's the point. You sound like a decent guy who wants to save your marriage. Correct. So here's what you need to do. Okay. Stop this and possibly get into a little couples counseling. Not you and the other, not the four of you, you understand? You and your wife. First thing you need to do is stop having the swinging. And the second thing you need to do is get in and talk to a therapist with your wife and see if you can't sort of patch up things. Because I'm a little bit suspicious. I don't know of many women who would continue with this behavior that weren't either, A, pretty whacked out or B, falling in love with the other guy. I suspect they're both falling in love with each other's partner.

57:59 Drew Maybe all four of them are. There has to be mutuality in all of this. But I bet also Joe's wife has been telling him for a long time that there's some things, some problems.

58:07 Adam Okay.

58:08 Drew You know what I mean?

58:09 Adam Yes. Melissa?

58:10 Caller Hello?

58:11 Adam You're 15. What's up?

58:12 Caller Well, okay. Every time I get close to this guy, I don't want to do anything with him, but I really like him when I'm not around him.

58:18 Drew You're 15. That's fine. You're 15.

58:21 Adam A woman's prerogative.

58:23 Drew That's fine. That's normal. Well, it gets a little overwhelming, a little intense when you're 15.

58:29 Caller No, no, no.

58:30 I don't know. It's just weird like that.

58:33 Adam Oh, no, no, no. Yeah.

58:34 Drew As opposed to overwhelming and intense, it's normal at your age to be trying to figure this kind of thing out.

58:41 Okay.

58:41 Drew To be confused.

58:43 Adam It's almost quaint.

58:44 Drew Yes.

58:45 Adam We miss that.

58:46 Drew We do miss that, don't we? You're gay.

58:48 Adam Well, you may be gay. All right. Penn? Penn.

58:52 Drew Sleeping?

58:53 Adam Caller goes by the name Penn. I've been on hold for 57 and a half minutes. Penn?

58:57 Yeah.

58:58 Adam You're 17. What's up?

58:59 Caller Yeah. I just want to know. Like, I'm really, I have a really short fuse when it comes to, like, temper, and like I'm really violent towards people. Like, I'm right now, I'm at a friend's house because, like, my mom's ex-husband, like, they got into an argument, and I interjected, and me and him got into a physical argument outside, and like, so me and him started our fist-flying and stuff like that.

59:26 Adam And you and the stepdad?

59:27 Caller Yeah. And so it proceeded for us rolling on the ground, and I just, like, started slamming his head on the sidewalk.

59:34 Adam Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, I'll tell you, that is the widest of all white trash maneuvers is slugging it out with stepdad. You know what I'm saying?

59:42 Caller We're not really white trash. I mean, we're pretty decent. My mom's an accountant, and he's an attorney, so.

59:47 Adam Oh, my God. He's going to sue your ass.

59:49 Caller Well, he's really violent towards my mom, too, so.

59:51 Adam Well, okay. Well, so here's the deal. Here's my hypotheses. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. Someone was violent with your mom, like her dad way back when. Your mom's original husband, your dad was probably a violent guy. They probably broke up because of his violence, and then lo and behold, she went and found another violent guy.

1:00:10 Drew And lo and behold, she has a son who's violent. When you're growing up around violence, A, it instills in you a lot of anger and aggression, and it also burns out the part of the brain that's responsible for sort of screening out or containing impulses. You actually lose that part of the brain function. It sometimes requires medication to keep things in check.

1:00:29 Adam Where's Original Dad?

1:00:31 Caller He's like an alcoholic, so I don't really associate with him.

1:00:34 Adam Was he violent with you growing up?

1:00:36 Caller No, no, I really don't know him.

1:00:38 Drew How old were you when he left?

1:00:40 Caller I was a baby, but the guy I called Dad is my mom's second husband.

1:00:44 Adam I see. The guy who's, the great guy whose head you were slamming against a pavement a couple hours ago?

1:00:48 Caller No, that's her third marriage.

1:00:50 Adam Oh, I see.

1:00:51 Caller Her second marriage, he's a really great guy.

1:00:53 He's the guy I called Dad.

1:00:54 Adam I see.

1:00:55 Drew But that's the one your mom had to sabotage so she can get the violent guy back in.

1:00:58 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

1:00:59 Adam Great. Why a violent attorney? That is a one-two punch, barring the pun.

1:01:04 Caller I mean, I have to go to court because I have four charges. I have two malicious wounding charges, an assault on battery and an assault on an officer.

1:01:11 Adam You're 17. It's not like you're 11. I mean, a man's liable to have a record as he gets older and years. A malicious wounding.

1:01:19 Caller I have two malicious wounding charges.

1:01:21 Adam What is a malicious wounding charge? That's like you stab someone with a sprinkler key or something.

1:01:26 Caller It's just like I go off. I just don't even know what's going on. It just goes black. Like my stepdad, he's like, I went to my friend's house. I don't even know. I got off work and he was just on the ground bleeding. I just got in my car and left.

1:01:40 Adam Okay. Hey, Penn?

1:01:42 Caller Yeah.

1:01:42 Adam Couple of things. A, don't ever take any martial arts, any taekwondo or kickboxing or anything like that.

1:01:48 Drew Or speed.

1:01:49 Caller That's what I take is martial arts.

1:01:51 Adam Okay. Stop doing that, you screwball. So all we need is a guy like you more dangerous too. Don't get involved with speed. Hey, you know what your problem is? You don't smoke pot.

1:02:01 Well, I do. I do smoke pot.

1:02:02 Adam You do smoke pot? You're not smoking enough weed? Yeah. Listen, listen, Pan. Yeah. Listen to me. Don't get drunk and don't do speed. Okay. As you get drunk or do speed, that's it. You're going to go on off like a whirling dervish.

1:02:18 Drew Or you'll kill somebody. You will kill somebody.

1:02:20 Adam That's what I'm scared of. All right. Do not take speed. Do not get drunk and go. You may need to be put on a little something.

1:02:27 Drew Yeah. You got to see someone about this ridiculous. Why not get help before something happens?

1:02:33 Adam Right. And by the way, parents out there, and I blame all of you personally, when you got a kid, I mean, when I turn on the TV and I see the 14-year-old who bashed in the other kids' head at the railroad tracks and the guy who shot some other guy in the back or a guy who stole a kid's bike then beat the crap out of him and paralyzed him at 14, 15, 16 years old. When I see that and then I see a big fat mom up there crying the blues, I blame you. You screwed this kid up, you turn him into an animal and I hold you responsible. And that excuse of, I can't control my kid, is right up there with, I can't control my dog. You're responsible. That is, if your dog is biting everyone in the neighborhood and your excuse is, I can't control him, then who do we punish? You or the dog? Both of you. I want mom a punish and I want papa punished too. This drives me insane. There's nothing worse. There's some 15, 6-year-old kid, he's terrorizing the neighborhood. All the kids are scared assless of him. They're taking different routes home. He's beating the crap out of people. And where the hell are you? You're watching your soaps every morning, every afternoon. You get off your ass, you do something. I wish we'd hold these parents more accountable. I know, Drew, if we held parents accountable, they would get more involved. Yes, if you thought you were going to be, your fat, lazy ass was going to be hauled off to the pokey because of what your 16, 17-year-old son did or who he beat the crap out of.

1:04:02 Drew You would figure out a way to change.

1:04:03 Adam You'd get your goddamn ass off the sofa. You'd drag this kid in for some counseling. You'd get him on some medication. You wouldn't just sit there and say, there's nothing I can do. Let the cops handle it. Why isn't it that way?

1:04:15 Drew Because you're not in charge.

1:04:17 Adam Oh, my God. It drives me insane. All right. I mean, I know these women and these men are depressed and they're screwed up and they're alcoholics, but I'm telling you, if you put the burden on them, if you said to them, listen, we caught your 13-year-old beating the crap out of another kid, and if we catch them again, you know who's going in? You're going in. You don't think they'd get off their ass and make damn sure that kid, they knew where that kid was? Of course they would. Iris, you're 16.

1:04:45 Caller Hello? Huh?

1:04:46 Adam Who else can you be responsible for, by the way, if you cannot be responsible for your own kid? Jesus Christ. All right. Iris?

1:04:54 Hello?

1:04:55 Adam All right. You go deaf when you have sex?

1:04:57 Yeah. First off, I'd like to tell Dr. Drew, I love you. I've been listening to you forever, yada, yada, yada. I bet everybody tells you that. But yeah, after I have sex and I have an orgasm, I go deaf.

1:05:11 Drew For how long?

1:05:12 I can't hear anything. I think the longest it's lasted is 45 minutes.

1:05:20 Drew Is it like you're stone deaf? You can't hear a thing?

1:05:23 No, no, no, no, no. I can't hear anything. I feel kind of tired. I mean, anybody does, but I just can't hear.

1:05:32 Drew Let me ask you again.

1:05:34 Adam Hey, did you just have sex, Iris?

1:05:36 No. Huh?

1:05:37 Okay.

1:05:38 Drew I said, do you go stone deaf? You can't hear a thing?

1:05:43 Adam No, no. I can't hear anything.

1:05:44 Yeah.

1:05:44 Adam That's what you...

1:05:46 Yeah, yes, I do. I can make out words just because I see people moving their lips and stuff, but I go deaf.

1:05:55 Adam Here's what the lips she's reading. I'm going to get something to eat.

1:06:01 Drew Where's the remote?

1:06:03 Adam Yeah, those are the words you're really going to have to learn. Does the guy have a scratch pad?

1:06:07 Caller No.

1:06:08 Adam You're sitting on the remote.

1:06:11 Drew Iris, listen, I need to be clear about this. Is it that you can kind of hear people speaking but you can't make out what they're saying because language doesn't make sense? Or is it muffled or is it stone deaf? You can't hear a thing.

1:06:28 At the very, very beginning, it's like stone deaf. I can't hear anything at all. And then slowly but surely, it comes back.

1:06:37 Adam As the semen drips out of your ears?

1:06:39 Drew Any other symptoms, Iris? Do you have fullness in your sinuses or you're sneezing or yawning?

1:06:44 Oh, no, no, nothing like that.

1:06:45 Drew And no visual disturbances?

1:06:47 No, no, nothing like that. The only thing with me is I could completely be deaf.

1:06:54 Drew Okay, I understand.

1:06:55 Adam What is he saying? You're going deaf?

1:06:56 Yep.

1:06:57 Adam Okay, let me write that down.

1:06:58 Drew And do you have migraine headaches or history of migraines?

1:07:01 Actually, I think I have a headache like once a year or any sort like migraines and anything like that. I have them like once a year and that's it.

1:07:09 Drew Is there a family history of migraines?

1:07:12 My mom gets a lot of them, but other than that, nobody ever does. She's the only one.

1:07:17 Adam That would be a family history.

1:07:19 Drew Yeah, that would be important. Iris, you really ought to see a neurologist about this. Has it always been this way?

1:07:26 Actually, not like a month after I had sex, but then like after that month.

1:07:32 Drew Ever since?

1:07:33 Yeah, and then I just, I stopped having sex for like a month, and then I did again, and I don't know, the very, very last time I had sex, which like almost three weeks ago, that's like it got really bad, so I just stopped. I'm like not even wanting to.

1:07:52 Drew All right. It's scary.

1:07:54 Adam You may need a CAT scan anyway. I mean, just talking to her. Seems like she's having a little trouble processing information.

1:08:02 Drew Maybe. I just think that Iris needs to get checked out. I've heard of massive headaches. I've heard of visual disturbances. I've even heard of deafness associated with orgasm, but it's something that I'm not comfortable just sort of signing off on. That's just nothing. It needs a neurologist to look her over carefully.

1:08:16 Adam Yeah. I wouldn't mind that.

1:08:18 Drew What?

1:08:18 Adam Oh, wait a minute. No, I couldn't watch TV after I masturbated. Yeah, you're right. That'd be horrible. Dan?

1:08:25 Caller Yeah, how's it going?

1:08:26 Adam You're 18. What's going on?

1:08:28 Caller Not much. This question is more or less for Drew. I'm 6'2 and weigh about somewhere between 130 and 140. And over the weekend, I read an article in the New York Times magazine that said, basically, testosterone has a real big effect on weight and size and all.

1:08:45 Drew I was wondering if like a testosterone. They've also isolated another gene they've isolated that determines whether or not you gain weight.

1:08:53 Caller So I was wondering if it could be some type of medical problem or I mean, I eat a fair amount, like, but I just don't gain weight.

1:09:01 Drew Jeremy, it's not about a medical problem or is it really just your constitutional makeup which you were born with? And how can I answer that?

1:09:10 Adam Yeah, let me explain that for a second. I was looking at engineer Anderson's mammoth calves while we were walking out the side a few minutes ago and I thought to myself, where the hell do you get those? And then I thought, I think he got it from his parents.

1:09:28 Drew Yeah, no kidding.

1:09:29 Adam And it has nothing to do with anything.

1:09:32 Drew Right.

1:09:33 Adam And we will not accept that. And I don't think the community at large is ready to accept that and I don't think we will. I think there's something scary about just accepting that hey, you got a hand dealt to you physically and that's about it. You are what you are. It's very frightening. I mean, I swear to God.

1:09:52 Drew Well, what are you going to sell somebody who thinks that way?

1:09:55 Adam That is my point. I mean, all you need to do is look at professional tennis players' calves and look at Anderson's calves. Anderson sits around, watches bad foreign movies and smokes weed all day. His calves are twice as big as anyone on the pro tennis circuit. Why? Why is that?

1:10:17 Drew Jeans.

1:10:18 Adam That's all jeans.

1:10:19 Drew Yeah.

1:10:19 Adam Absolutely. He's Samoan.

1:10:21 Drew I didn't know that.

1:10:23 Adam He really is. He's albino Samoan. I, on the other hand, played 10 years of football and have calves as skinny as a rail.

1:10:31 Drew Yeah.

1:10:31 Adam It doesn't seem to make a difference. I ran around with a truck tire on a rope tied around my waist running 100-yard wind sprints in high school. I looked down and my calves are not muscled there. Anderson watched a Hannah Shagula movies and smoked weed with his gay buddies and wore a beret, and he has big calves, looks like an NFL linebacker. That's just the hand you get dealt. Skinny guys are skinny. That's the way it is. You can make a dent in it, but you ain't going to change your makeup. You're skinny, you're going to be a skinny guy. But let me ask you a quick question, Dr. Drew, because one of the writers brought it up again today. What about taking-

1:11:12 Drew How about some Man Show writers?

1:11:13 Adam Well, here's what this guy asked. I didn't have a good answer for him. What if you take something like steroids or Andrastean Dione, but you don't work out? Do you get some more muscle on you?

1:11:25 Drew You do, but not nearly the way you would if you worked out. Not nearly.

1:11:28 Adam It would be a huge difference if you worked out.

1:11:31 Drew Yes.

1:11:31 Adam But if you're just taking like that Andrastean Dione stuff or whatever the hell that is.

1:11:37 Drew Let's take a clearer example, a stronger hormone like decadent anaball or one of these crazy things they take. What is it? Anadrol. And you get hair, you get thickening of bones, you get thickening of soft tissue, you gain weight, you get aggressive, you get the over-androgenizing of influences, but not necessarily the huge muscle growth that you would get if you worked out heavily.

1:12:00 Adam Well, obviously, you wouldn't look like a bodybuilder if you weren't working out. But would you see muscle gain without doing anything any different?

1:12:08 Drew Yeah, a little bit.

1:12:09 Adam Why don't you give me some of that stuff? And also give me one of those electrical impulse things I can strap to my belly that's equivalent to doing 25,000 sit-ups while I'm watching TV.

1:12:18 Drew I'll get one.

1:12:19 Adam I'll get one of those, too.

1:12:20 Drew And then one of those saddles, too, we heard about earlier.

1:12:21 Adam One of those sex saddles.

1:12:22 Drew Yeah.

1:12:23 Adam Give me all that and we'll put an ISDN line in the house and we'll call it a life. All right. We'll take a little break. Engineer Anderson is going to crush me with his massive calves. And if I'm still around, we'll be back after this. Hey, it's the Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew?

1:13:30 Drew Yes?

1:13:30 Adam You ready to hop back on the phones?

1:13:32 Drew I'm ready. Let's go talk to Sheila.

1:13:33 Adam Sheila, you're 21. What's going on?

1:13:35 Caller Hi. Well, basically, my question is, my doctor has just prescribed some antibiotics because she took a vaginal culture, and she gave me a call, and she told me that I have bacteria, and she's going to prescribe it.

1:13:54 Drew Flagel?

1:13:56 Caller Ampocyllin.

1:13:57 Drew Ampocyllin, all right.

1:13:59 Caller Basically, my question is, I was just wondering if I should not let my boyfriend perform oral sex on me until I finish taking the medication.

1:14:08 Drew Because you're afraid that that will not let this resolve?

1:14:11 Adam No, she doesn't want to get a mouthful of foam.

1:14:15 Drew No, he can enjoy. That's not a problem for him.

1:14:18 Adam Oh, please, Drew, you're going to send a man down there in the midst of all that medication? And it's like a rainforest down there.

1:14:24 Drew But she's not inserting the medication directly into her vagina. It's a systemic medication.

1:14:29 Adam She's taking it orally?

1:14:31 Caller Uh-huh.

1:14:32 Adam Oh, I see. You're not pushing it up in there?

1:14:34 Caller Oh, no.

1:14:35 Drew No.

1:14:35 Adam All right.

1:14:36 Drew Although there is such a thing. You can take a Metrogel cream, which is metronidazole cream, and that will clear up the same damn thing. But be that as it may, it's a common thing. Women don't understand that that environment almost anything can change the chemistry of it and cause certain bacteria to overgrow and certain ones to be suppressed.

1:14:52 Caller Could it be also because I've just barely started taking birth control pills about a month ago?

1:14:59 Drew You know, it can be anything, Sheila. It can be just starting to have sex. It can be using condoms. It can be stress, diet. It's very real variable. It's not usually conceptualized as a sexually transmitted disease. But if you keep having recurrences of what's called bacterial vaginosis, sometimes they will treat the man as well.

1:15:16 Adam All right. Jeremy.

1:15:18 Yeah.

1:15:18 Adam You're 16. What's going on?

1:15:21 Caller I've known this girl for like three years.

1:15:23 Caller All right.

1:15:25 Caller We just now started having sex. I've asked her out. But she said she don't mix friends with possibilities.

1:15:31 Drew She doesn't what?

1:15:32 Caller She doesn't mix friends and like guys she'll go out with.

1:15:36 Caller Right.

1:15:37 Caller I mean, I want to be more than friends, but she says no.

1:15:41 Drew Why am I confused, Adam? Help me.

1:15:43 Adam You're confused as to why Jeremy's calling us up when a girl told him she didn't want to go out with him.

1:15:48 Drew But he's having sex with her.

1:15:50 Adam Is he having sex with her?

1:15:52 Drew That's what I thought he said.

1:15:54 Caller Yeah.

1:15:54 Adam You said you were having sex with her?

1:15:55 Caller Yeah.

1:15:56 Adam You son of a bitch. I didn't hear that part. You have sex and you want to go out with her.

1:16:04 Caller Yeah.

1:16:04 Drew But she-

1:16:05 Adam How often do you have sex with her?

1:16:08 Caller Almost every weekend.

1:16:10 Adam Every weekend. And when she says to you, she doesn't mix friendships with dates.

1:16:17 Caller Yeah.

1:16:17 Adam And you say, but we're already having sex. What does she say?

1:16:22 Caller She says, she really doesn't say nothing at all.

1:16:25 Adam Yeah. You think she has another guy she's seeing?

1:16:28 Drew God, Adam, that is exactly what I was thinking. She's got a boyfriend.

1:16:31 Caller I don't know.

1:16:32 Drew I guarantee it. Yeah. Very strongly.

1:16:34 Adam She has to have another guy.

1:16:36 Drew Yeah.

1:16:36 Caller Yeah.

1:16:37 Adam You get the feeling she has the other guy?

1:16:39 Caller Yeah.

1:16:40 Adam Why is it? Why do you have that feeling?

1:16:42 Caller I guess because she really don't like talking about it with me and she really don't want nobody finding out about it.

1:16:49 Adam Yeah.

1:16:50 Caller Yeah.

1:16:50 Drew That's that guy.

1:16:51 Adam How old is she?

1:16:53 Caller 16.

1:16:53 Adam Oh, boy. Oh, she's got a real rosy future, this one. Hey, Jeremy?

1:16:58 Caller Yeah.

1:16:59 Adam You sound like you want a little more than this.

1:17:02 Caller Yeah.

1:17:02 Adam All right. You're going to have to find yourself another woman.

1:17:05 Caller Yeah.

1:17:05 Adam You know what I'm saying? All right. There you go.

1:17:08 Drew But, Adam, imagine this. You're 16. You're having weekly intercourse with somebody.

1:17:12 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on. I haven't done that yet. I mean, I haven't imagined that yet. Let me try that. It won't process. Even in my very vivid, colorful imagination, it still does not make sense to me.

1:17:25 Drew I can't process it. Try it again. Are you done?

1:17:28 Adam No.

1:17:29 Drew Oh.

1:17:29 Adam I can't do it.

1:17:30 Drew Okay.

1:17:31 Adam I can't do it, Drew. I cannot even imagine in a hypothetical world having actual sex. But that's the point. Every weekend when I'm 16.

1:17:39 Drew At 16 and then saying, okay, now just take it easy with that and go out and find somebody you really want to be close to.

1:17:44 Adam Well, this is a weird relationship. They're having sex almost every weekend. They're not talking. She's not interested. She tells them not to say anything. It sounds to me like she may have an older boyfriend who's in basic training or something. Yeah. It doesn't sound good. Yeah. She sounds pretty chaotic. And I do not trust a 16-year-old who has casual sex with another guy who doesn't want to have a relationship with him. Tony.

1:18:10 Hey, Adam. How are you doing?

1:18:11 Adam Good. You're 16. What's up?

1:18:14 Caller Yeah. I've been noticing lately. I mean, I heard my parents having sex in the next room, and it aroused me. And recently, I went in there and looked at them, and I watched.

1:18:27 Adam Wow. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:18:31 Drew Who hasn't that been?

1:18:32 Adam Oh, certainly.

1:18:34 Caller Even if I masturbate a lot in my own room, like along with it?

1:18:38 Adam Absolutely. I did that well into my 30s, well into my 30s.

1:18:43 Caller Is it normal to watch?

1:18:44 Adam Of course, I couldn't go back. I could go back every day, but Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, especially.

1:18:51 Drew Tony, look, what's going on in your household that they would do this and put you in this position?

1:18:56 Caller Well, I mean, I don't have any girlfriends or anything like that, so I, you know, I think that's...

1:19:02 Drew No, no, no, Tony, you missed my point. Your reaction is normal. It's a biological reaction to a certain stimulus. It's a little bit weird, but be that as it may, why do your parents not have enough respect to the environment and to your boundaries that they would put you in this position?

1:19:17 Adam Oh, hold on a second there, Dr. Pinsky. First off, Tony is a little left out because the notion of your parents having intercourse at 16 should be disgusting to you. As a matter of fact, it should be a combination between shocking and disgusting at any age.

1:19:35 Drew That's number one. You're right. It is to him.

1:19:38 Adam Number two, why? Oh, but yeah, he's so horrified. He's masturbating to it. What do they do? Leave the door open?

1:19:46 Caller They're so small. It's just a little two-bedroom apartment. I don't think they mean it, but my dad's a pretty big guy. You know, I guess, you know, I guess, you know.

1:19:55 Adam Yeah, he's so big, he can't close the door.

1:19:59 Caller It's a waterbed, too.

1:20:00 Adam Hold on a second. Hey, Drew.

1:20:03 Drew Yeah.

1:20:03 Adam This is total BS.

1:20:04 Drew Probably.

1:20:05 Adam Come on, it's a waterbed.

1:20:07 Drew Yeah.

1:20:07 Adam He's not coming up with any stories. Plus, he says he's masturbating to the doorway.

1:20:12 Drew That's what I was thinking was weird.

1:20:14 Adam He didn't say he was doing it in the doorway.

1:20:15 Drew Yeah, he did.

1:20:16 Adam No, he didn't.

1:20:17 Drew Hold on a second. I'm asking.

1:20:18 Adam Tony?

1:20:20 Caller Yeah?

1:20:20 Adam You didn't say you're masturbating in the doorway, did you, buddy?

1:20:23 Caller No, no, I didn't do it in my room.

1:20:24 Adam I see.

1:20:25 Caller Go to your room. That'd be the scariest thing in the world if they caught me. That'd suck.

1:20:29 Adam Yeah, yeah, I see.

1:20:30 Caller You're Adam's a toad.

1:20:31 Adam That's right. I told you. Hi, Tony. All right. Hey, enjoy yourself. I'll see you in hell, all right, buddy? Yeah. Hey, Alexis. Yeah, Alexis, you're 22.

1:20:47 Drew You're what, Adam? What?

1:20:49 Adam What's that? I've been saying, it's just a lot of bogus calls over the last week or so.

1:20:55 Drew Yeah.

1:20:56 Adam It's not something we get too much of. It really isn't. I blame you, Drew. Alexis. Besides, listen, I got Anderson in the next room shaking his head knowing this thing was bogus halfway into it, Drew.

1:21:08 Drew I was bogus too, but I was trying to get something out. No, no, I did.

1:21:12 Adam You're telling him it was normal and healthy.

1:21:14 Drew Well, not normal and healthy.

1:21:15 Adam You see why you should make fun of everyone in case it's a bogus call?

1:21:19 Drew Yeah. Good point, Adam.

1:21:20 Adam Thank you. Alexis, you crazy bitch. You see?

1:21:24 Guest I wish this was bogus. I'm concerned about my boyfriend.

1:21:27 Adam No, girls don't make bogus calls, by the way. There's something about women, they don't have the humor gene, which is A number one.

1:21:35 Drew No, they don't have the goofball gene.

1:21:36 Adam They don't have the goof. You know what women don't have? They don't have the F with people gene. I mean, here's how women F with people. They mean it when they F with people. They don't do it on a casual basis. They ruin their husband, they ruin their loved ones, family members, things like that. They don't just call strangers and F with them. Women save all their F-ing energy for people they're closest to and they go for them. But they don't just call random radio stations and like these cable stations and prank calls and things like that. They don't have that gene.

1:22:10 You have it all figured out, Adam?

1:22:11 Adam That's right. So what's going on there, Alexis?

1:22:13 Guest Okay. Well, I was with my boyfriend. We were intimate this weekend. And I've been with him for five years. Okay. We have a very open and honest relationship. Nothing, no games. And...

1:22:25 Drew What does that mean?

1:22:26 Guest Well, I'm just saying that so that way you know the situation.

1:22:28 Adam Right. Because something happened.

1:22:29 Guest It's a stable relationship that's been going on for a long time. And I was stroking his penis and I felt like something catch on my finger. So I turned on the light and I stopped and I turned on the light and I said you know what? I need to like... Because I felt something strange. And I just for some reason I need to see it. So I saw it and it was just like... When I first saw it, it looked like an open sore. And it was like a crusty sore. And there were about three of them. And the sores were... I don't even know how to explain it. It was just disgusting. It was disgusting and I didn't know what to think. And he said, oh well you know it's been itching a lot.

1:23:06 Caller And as soon as it got hurt, he said it didn't hurt.

1:23:07 Drew That's herpes. That's herpes, Alan.

1:23:09 Guest That's the first thing I thought.

1:23:12 Drew Have you had anything? Well itching and burning is herpes.

1:23:16 Adam It doesn't have to hurt. Have you guys been having a lot of vigorous sex?

1:23:20 Guest No, not for a long time. Not for a long time.

1:23:24 Drew Did you have sex? Did you have sex that day with these boobs?

1:23:28 Adam Why has it been so long?

1:23:31 Guest Because we don't see each other very often. I live with my parents and it's hard.

1:23:35 Drew Does he live somewhere far away?

1:23:37 Guest We haven't seen him that far, but far enough.

1:23:38 Adam He lives in the Philippines. How long have you been going out? Five years?

1:23:42 Guest Yeah. I believe him. I don't think it's that.

1:23:47 Drew Can we get him on the phone? We can break him.

1:23:50 Adam How often do you have sex with him?

1:23:53 Guest Two or three times a month now, but just this last year.

1:23:58 Adam How far away do you guys live from each other?

1:24:00 Guest About two hours.

1:24:02 It's hard because I don't have a car.

1:24:03 Adam That's why. No car living at home?

1:24:05 Guest Yeah. There you go.

1:24:06 Adam You're real catch. What are you doing? Going to school?

1:24:10 Guest Actually, I just graduated and I'm about to get a car soon.

1:24:13 Drew What's he doing? Is he still going to school?

1:24:15 Guest No. He's out of school. He's a professional. He's out there.

1:24:18 Adam Professional what? Truck driver?

1:24:21 Guest No. He's a teacher if you must know.

1:24:25 Adam I bet there's a student that's got something going on.

1:24:27 Guest He said it. I've been telling him to go to the doctor and he refuses. He just says, it's probably just trackage. I don't want to go there. They're going to tell me it's just this and I'm going to feel stupid.

1:24:36 Drew He's got to go because if they don't see the lesions, they're not going to be able to arrive at a diagnosis.

1:24:41 Adam Yeah. It's not sounding great.

1:24:43 Drew Alexis, the first one, two, and three choices are herpes here. So really, it's important. He can still give it to you even if he doesn't have those lesions present.

1:24:51 Adam Yeah. Because listen, the only thing I'm thinking of is, if you guys hadn't had sex, I thought maybe if he had some vigorous sex, it could be a little chafing or some blistering or something like that. But if you hadn't had sex in a long time and he's a couple hours away, and all of a sudden there's some scamming and blistering on the old Johnson, it could be the hapies. All right, Drew, we're going to take a break. Who are we going to talk to when we come back?

1:25:15 Drew Michelle on six.

1:25:16 Adam Michelle has lost interest in sex because she's been married for six years.

1:25:22 Drew Is it because?

1:25:23 Adam Oh, I see. How long have you been married, Drew?

1:25:26 Drew Nine, almost nine years.

1:25:27 Adam Almost nine years. You've never been happier, have you?

1:25:29 Drew Yeah.

1:25:30 Adam You have been happier.

1:25:31 Drew No, I've never been happier. No, it's true. I've got a grandma.

1:25:33 Adam When is it that you're happier than when you're single?

1:25:36 Drew I've never been happier.

1:25:37 Adam So you're miserable your whole life?

1:25:39 Drew Yeah, basically.

1:25:41 Adam All right. I make a good attorney, wouldn't I? All right. Leading the witness. Thank you. We're going to take a little break, and we'll be back with the uninterested Michelle after this.

1:25:55 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:26:31 Adam Yeah. Drew.

1:26:33 Drew Yeah.

1:26:34 Adam Hey, buddy.

1:26:35 Drew Oh, no.

1:26:36 Adam No, no, no. It's not the lightning round.

1:26:39 Drew I thought you were going to just introduce, you let Anne in kind of easy, ease her in before you introduce her to the lightning round, because I don't think that existed when she left.

1:26:46 Adam I don't know. We'll bring the lightning round back tomorrow night. My pipes can only handle it. I got to do it every other night. All right. Michelle.

1:26:57 Guest Yeah.

1:26:57 Adam You're 24. You lost interest in sex because you've been married for six years.

1:27:02 Guest I'm seven and a half actually.

1:27:05 Drew Well, you lost interest in sex because the intimacy or something about this relationship isn't where you need it.

1:27:12 Guest I don't know.

1:27:13 Drew So what is the problem?

1:27:14 Guest I don't know. I don't know. Just like when we first met and for the first two years even, it was like all the time, like at least two times a day, at least maybe even three times a day, and now it's less than like once a week, maybe twice every two weeks.

1:27:34 Adam Is this you or him?

1:27:34 Guest He's lucky if he gets it that much. I'm sorry.

1:27:37 Adam He's lucky. He has it that much. Did you hear that one, Drew? Yeah. He's lucky if he gets it that much.

1:27:44 Guest You know, I mean, he wants it all the time. All the time. I don't know what happened to me. I used to.

1:27:50 Adam Well, you're making pay a little bit.

1:27:52 Guest Pay?

1:27:53 Adam Yeah.

1:27:54 Guest No.

1:27:54 Adam He's not listening to you, is he?

1:27:56 Guest No. Yes.

1:27:58 Adam Yes, he's not listening to you?

1:27:59 Guest Because, look, we've been married for seven and a half years.

1:28:02 Caller This year will be eight years.

1:28:03 Guest And I love him to death. I am attracted to him and everything. I just don't know why I haven't. I've just lost interest. I don't want to.

1:28:12 Adam Quiet down over there, Drew and Michelle.

1:28:14 Drew Let's explore some biological stuff. Do you have children?

1:28:16 Guest Yes, three.

1:28:18 Drew Three kids, Adam. How long ago was the last one?

1:28:22 Caller How old is the last one?

1:28:23 Drew How long ago was the last one?

1:28:24 Guest How long ago? She's going to be two tomorrow.

1:28:27 Drew Did you notice any drop in your sex drive after pregnancy?

1:28:30 Guest Incredibly. Yeah. Incredibly. Why is that a big difference? I don't understand because during pregnancy it was great.

1:28:37 Adam We loved it.

1:28:38 Guest It was all the time.

1:28:39 Adam That's sick. Please don't talk about that.

1:28:42 Drew Someone would just shut down after pregnancy. Are you wanting medication?

1:28:46 Guest No.

1:28:46 Drew Have you talked to your doctor about maybe going on birth control pills?

1:28:49 Guest Have I what?

1:28:50 Drew Going on the triphasic pills, certain birth control pills, sometimes they store sick.

1:28:53 Guest I am an orthonovo birth control pill right now.

1:28:56 Drew That's one of the ones that can actually shut your drive down.

1:28:59 Caller But it was like that before the third baby too.

1:29:02 Drew Same pill.

1:29:03 Guest It was starting to go down before the third baby and I was on Norplant before that.

1:29:06 Drew Same medicine. Yes.

1:29:08 Adam Same thing. All right. Switch to the triphasic pill. But other than that, is your husband listening to you?

1:29:14 Guest Well, yes.

1:29:15 Adam He is.

1:29:15 Guest It's okay. We're very open and very honest.

1:29:18 Adam You're communicating?

1:29:19 Guest Yeah. All the time.

1:29:20 Adam He's a good guy?

1:29:21 Guest Great guy.

1:29:22 Adam You like him?

1:29:22 Drew It's just, it's her biology.

1:29:23 Adam Okay. You can't just hold still, let him sweat on you for a couple of minutes a week?

1:29:29 Guest I do that all the time.

1:29:31 Adam All right. That's my girl. Listen, prostitutes do it all the time. You just hold still. That's fine. Listen everybody, there's plenty of things we do every day that we don't want to do. It's really the majority of our day. We spend doing things we don't want to do. Why can't you just do that in the bedroom once in a while? I mean, I know, I know this sickens Drew, but just quiet down and listen to me. Your husband's a great guy. You love the guy to death. You know he wants sex every night. You're only giving it to him once every week, maybe every couple of weeks. It's much less than what he wants. It's nothing personal. It's just biologically you're closed down. But can't you strike a compromise? I mean, can't you just sort of give him a little oral sex, take a little of the wind out of his sail once in a while? I know it may not be gratifying for you, but that's all right. I mean, you do a lot of other things that aren't the greatest, and this is a guy you love who doesn't deserve it. Steve?

1:30:30 Yeah?

1:30:31 Adam You're 17. I mean, you're 19.

1:30:32 Caller What's going on? Yeah. I got like two little outbreaks of, I think, warts on my... And I know I need to see the doctor, but I'm kind of curious what exactly should I be expecting.

1:30:49 Drew When he sees them?

1:30:50 Caller Excuse me?

1:30:51 Drew When he or she sees them?

1:30:53 Caller One more time? I missed that.

1:30:54 Drew What is it you're asking? How's the doctor going to figure out if there are warts or how...

1:30:58 Caller What exactly am I looking at? I mean, are they going to spread? I mean, am I giving them to myself? Are they going to spread all over?

1:31:04 Drew They do tend to spread, and the doctor will be able to make the diagnosis by looking. And if it's certain kinds of warts, you can actually use a little cream they have. An Aldarra cream will take care of it. Sometimes they'll burn them off, laser them off, that sort of thing. But it is important that you control them because they will proliferate and they are more infectious when you have more warts.

1:31:22 Adam Yeah. And basically, what the doctor will do... I don't know if you saw the movie Goldfinger. Maybe it was Doctor No. They strap you down to Gurney, Spread Eagle, and then he'll get a laser. It's a cutting laser. It's an industrial type laser. And it'll start down on the end of the Gurney, and it'll slowly make its way up toward your groin. Meanwhile, there'll be a guy with an eye patch who's petting a Persian cat who'll have to tend to some other business while you're there left to die. Isn't that how it goes? Yeah. You know what I always like about those Bond movies? They catch the guy. They finally catch Bond. They strap him in. They're going to kill him. But then at the last minute, the evil doctor, he gets busy. You know, it's like Bond, he can't hang out another three minutes to watch Bond die, even though he's been pursuing him for 10 years. It's kind of like, hey, Dr. Death? Yes. You have a phone call. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I'm going to head up to the bell tower. I'll be back. You know, it's like, it couldn't just stick out that last few minutes, watch him die. Hope?

1:32:27 Yeah.

1:32:27 Adam You're 20.

1:32:28 Caller Yeah. I was wondering if my boyfriend could be cheating. We've been going for almost seven months. The only time I ever really see him is really early in the morning, around one o'clock in the morning to something like that.

1:32:45 Drew Why is that? Why it's so rare?

1:32:46 Caller I don't know. He's like, that's the only time he has free. He says he's always working and I don't know. I want to confront him and tell him.

1:32:55 Adam Well, Hope, let's ask some questions. Does he have a job?

1:33:00 Caller He tells me yes.

1:33:01 Adam He says yes.

1:33:02 Drew He tells me yes.

1:33:03 Adam And what does he tell you he does?

1:33:06 Caller He tells me he does some studio work and he used to do some security work.

1:33:10 Caller Oh, boy.

1:33:11 Adam And he doesn't tell you it's not regular hours, does he get a paycheck?

1:33:17 Caller Oh, he tells me he gets a paycheck, but...

1:33:20 Drew And what does he do at one in the morning when he comes to visit you?

1:33:23 Caller He comes over and we make love and he leaves shortly after.

1:33:28 Drew Hope is a disaster.

1:33:29 Adam He leaves shortly after?

1:33:30 Caller Yeah, like he will cuddle for a little while and then he has to go and be like, Oh, my God.

1:33:35 Adam Well, he's got to go back to work at the studio.

1:33:38 Drew What do you put up with this?

1:33:39 Adam This isn't a boyfriend. This is a roadie who bangs you when he's in town.

1:33:43 Drew Absolutely.

1:33:45 Adam Boy, Drew, am I insulting or what? Jesus Christ.

1:33:48 Caller That's what it is.

1:33:49 Adam Yeah, this is not a boyfriend. I'm always amazed at people's relationships. He says he works. What's he do? He works at night. He showed me a pay stub once, although it was soiled. Someone else's name was on it, but he claimed he went by that name.

1:34:05 Drew Studio work. Some security and some underwater metal sculpture.

1:34:11 Adam This is the first stop on his sex tour, I'm sure. Probably starts about eight that evening and ends at four in the morning. Break up with him. We're going to take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:34:28 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

1:35:00 Adam Yep, that is it. Drew?

1:35:02 Drew Great, yeah.

1:35:03 Adam All righty. Another fantastic show in the can. Again, I want to thank and welcome back producer Ann, who's back in his house. And she's making the scene like a beauty queen. That's my main, main, main name. And that's my main, main Snoop Dogg. So we'll be talking to you tomorrow night. And until then, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. All right, I'm giving you oral sex starting now, right? Well, now.

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Monday, April 3, 2000