Episode 1000754887858

3:59 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

4:01 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

4:03 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

4:06 Voiceover Loveline.

4:10 Drew Hey, believe it or not, we're on the radio here. Welcome to Loveline. Yes.

4:14 Adam I'm already off to, I'm going to start here.

4:17 Drew A raging start.

4:18 Adam Goldfinger is our guest tonight. We have John and Charlie and Kelly and of course, Darren all in here and let me get set here. Let's see, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, acts number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist and now with that being said, it's good to see Goldfinger again.

4:43 Goldfinger Hallelujah.

4:44 Good to be seen, my friend.

4:45 Adam Yeah. Goldfinger is one of the few bands that we consider a friend of the show.

4:52 Goldfinger You always start to show off with that. We're a friend.

4:54 That's something new, bro.

4:55 Goldfinger We're actually on the lovelineonline.com.

5:00 Adam Really?

5:00 Goldfinger Yeah, there's a picture of us.

5:01 Adam I didn't know we had one of those. I got to look that up.

5:05 Getting rectal exams from Drew.

5:07 Adam Well, let's talk about Goldfinger for just one moment. I see they have a new CD out with some pretty good sound and covers on it. Now, was the band officially broken up for some period of time, a short period of time? Or did Goldfinger ever break up?

5:28 Not as far as I know. Darren, did you leave recently?

5:33 Goldfinger For mental health reasons, yeah.

5:34 Cracking up and breaking up are different.

5:36 Drew Darren has mental health days once in a while.

5:38 Adam You more cracked up, but you didn't break up?

5:41 No. We took a little break. I produced some bands. He made a record. We did a lot of things. Did you do anything, Charlie?

5:47 Goldfinger Charlie just had sex with every porn star in Los Angeles. We got a new bass player.

5:51 Oh yeah, we got a new bass player.

5:52 Kelly here.

5:54 Adam That's Kelly, where Simon used to be, I believe, right?

5:58 Exactly.

5:59 Adam Simon just sort of domesticated.

6:03 What happened to Simon, Darren?

6:05 Goldfinger Simon's not in the band anymore.

6:07 All right.

6:08 Adam Well, I liked Simon. I thought he was a nice guy.

6:10 Simon liked you a lot.

6:12 Adam Oh, really?

6:13 Wonderful guy.

6:13 Adam Maybe that was the vibe I was picking up on.

6:15 Drew You guys are pissed at Simon. Not at all.

6:18 Goldfinger No, I'm sure you had a lot of fun with him. Adam, I got to give you my trademark gifts.

6:23 Oh, yeah.

6:24 Drew Fireworks.

6:24 Goldfinger Do you have a King's hockey puck?

6:27 Adam I do, but I could always use another. No, I don't have one, actually.

6:31 Goldfinger Do you have a Darth Vader Pez?

6:34 Adam Again, I do, but I could always. No, I don't have a Darth Vader Pez or a King's hockey puck.

6:39 Goldfinger Every time I bring something for Julie, he's like, no, just give it to Adam.

6:43 Adam Well, Drew doesn't take it home with him.

6:45 Drew Well, you give stuff that I can use for my kids, I'll take it home.

6:47 Adam I want you to know-

6:48 Drew You got to give him the Pez and then you keep the puck. I can't take one, I'll have to pay.

6:51 Goldfinger Give him the Pez and then you keep the puck.

6:53 All right.

6:53 Did you hear Darren got to write the theme song for the Kings?

6:57 What's that?

6:58 He got to write the theme song for the Kings.

7:00 Really?

7:00 Goldfinger Yeah. If you go to Kings games, you'd hear it three times once before every period.

7:05 What is it?

7:05 Goldfinger It's like a bit of music with a Go, Kings, Go. Very good.

7:10 Adam There's vocals in it?

7:11 Goldfinger Yeah. It's me and John sang on it.

7:13 Before he gave it to me, he called all his neighbors. He has this like 80-year-old woman going, Go, Kings, Go, like kind of out of time.

7:20 Goldfinger Yeah. They're all off time, really mixed really bad.

7:22 It was supposed to be this chant, this kind of like soccer chant, you know, Go, Kings, Go.

7:24 Goldfinger They loved it and they gave me some tickets and it was rad.

7:27 Adam How did you hook up with the Kings?

7:29 Goldfinger I know the marketing director real well.

7:31 Adam He said do a song?

7:33 Goldfinger Yeah.

7:33 We actually did a K-Rock show, a parking lot show at the Kings game.

7:38 Adam And that's where the connection was made?

7:40 Yeah. They wouldn't let us in the buildings. We had to play in the parking lot.

7:43 Adam Well, let's talk about the new CD. Actually, I had the cover of it somewhere, but it was opened up by Kelly, I believe. When, let's talk about this. You talk about it. Let me look at it for a second.

7:57 This is a club called, what is it? The Ranch Bowl in Omaha. It's like kind of like the only kind of club that, you know, plays are kind of like we could play at, you know, and it's like a bowling alley, a volleyball court, a radio station, and like a, I don't know, it's like everything all in one, you know. And after the show, they said, hey, we got this recording studio, you want to come in and just record some songs. And so we just figured we record every cover song we knew. And it was like four in the morning when we did it, we just did it all like kind of one take. It took like an hour and a half to do, and we decided to release it.

8:25 Adam This is called Darren's Coconut Ass, live from Omaha. There you go. All right. And what songs are we going to hear tonight?

8:34 I don't know. We're thinking about what, Cure, Just Like Heaven?

8:37 Goldfinger And possibly Feel Like Making Love?

8:39 Adam Maybe.

8:40 Goldfinger Maybe.

8:40 Adam Or is she really going to have it?

8:42 Oh yeah, there you go. We could play that one too.

8:44 Adam That is a good old Joe Jackson song. You know, a lot of people picked up with Joe Jackson in the mid 80s with all that stepping out into the night BS. But what people don't realize is they don't realize Look Sharp and I'm the Man and that good solid rockin pissed off sort of punky edge stuff from 80, 81. I mean that's when Joe Jackson was at his prime.

9:08 Yeah.

9:09 Adam And those are the songs to cover.

9:10 Absolutely.

9:11 Great bass player.

9:13 That guy rules.

9:14 Adam All right. So what we'll do is we'll take a call or two and then we'll hear some of the new Goldfinger stuff. John?

9:19 Yeah.

9:20 Adam Year 23?

9:21 Hi, how you doing? This is a question for Dr. Drew. I was just curious as far as, you know how like, I'm not saying that I condone kids having sex or sex with kids or anything of that nature, but why is it that pretty much scientifically their bodies are ready, like as young as 11 years old to have sex, yet morally, you know, well, obviously...

9:45 Adam They're even better because they're kind of tight and they don't smell bad.

9:49 Drew You know what, especially the gents, you know, they're really snug, but hard to get them off you. It's not a moral issue, it's what they call a neurocognitive issue, that the brain development hasn't completed yet, and the kinds of judgments and the sorts of responsibilities that come with connecting that intimately and getting that involved with somebody, by and large are not a good idea for a young person.

10:11 Adam What John is asking is... Quiet down John, I'm saying what you're asking. What John is saying is why do they make you ready when your mind isn't ready? Why is your body ready? Why does God have a 12, 13 year old woman's body ready when we know her mind isn't ready for this? It doesn't seem to make sense.

10:30 Drew Because it takes a few hundred thousand years for us to evolve biologically, and we were designed basically to live to about 22. And we've sort of outstripped that.

10:42 Do you think that eventually it will catch up to the point that maybe, because I heard that we're actually having sex at a younger age.

10:50 Drew Well no, we're actually reaching puberty at a younger age, which defies my logic frankly.

10:55 Adam Certainly does.

10:56 Drew So we don't know. Don't know the answer to what you're asking.

10:58 Goldfinger If I had my way, women wouldn't get a vagina until they're 18.

11:01 Adam That's right. It would be issued from the state.

11:04 Goldfinger You have to take a test.

11:07 Drew I'm sorry, my daughter is just staying at her lock and key until 10 o'clock.

11:10 Goldfinger I got your back there.

11:11 Drew She's 24.

11:12 Adam It's right now, it is in a safe deposit box in Zurich.

11:16 Drew Is that true? How did you know that?

11:18 Gaining interest.

11:20 Adam I got your wife drunk. She talks.

11:22 Drew But it's interesting, Romeo and Juliet were like I believe 13 and 14 or 14 and 15.

11:29 Adam You're asking the wrong crowd.

11:31 Drew They were under 15.

11:32 Goldfinger What's that say about Shakespeare?

11:34 Drew Well, it also says it actually on one hand it says see how amazingly involved 14 and 15 girls become. On the other hand it's how f'ed up they can make their relationships and they end up both committing suicide.

11:45 Adam All right. So the good news is you live to 80 now and there's a lot more that goes. You reach puberty at nine and so I say game on.

11:57 Goldfinger You know the saying, don't you?

11:58 If there's grass.

11:58 Goldfinger On the field, play ball.

12:00 What's that thing we had the last tour with all the ages of states and countries or whatever? It was crazy. The craziest one was like 11.

12:06 Japan.

12:07 Is it Japan 11?

12:09 Adam 12.

12:09 They had the legal ages of consent on the back of a backstage pass.

12:14 Adam Really?

12:14 Goldfinger The Bloodhound Gang, we toured with them.

12:16 Friends of ours.

12:17 Adam Oh, Bloodhound.

12:17 It was Iran, it was 21 or something like that and you lose a...

12:21 24 in Iran.

12:22 24.

12:23 Goldfinger Yeah, but like 12 in Japan, 12 is like the legal age of consent.

12:26 That's F'd up because when we toured Iran, I was with a 20 year old and that was...

12:33 You could have got shot.

12:34 Goldfinger You could have got your wrist cut off.

12:36 Adam Nicole?

12:37 Yeah, hi.

12:37 Adam You're 20, ironically enough.

12:39 Caller Yeah, hi, Adam.

12:41 Adam You didn't tour Iran with Kelly, did you?

12:43 Caller No, I didn't.

12:44 Adam Okay, there's another 20. What's up?

12:48 Caller I was wondering, I use a vibrator basically every night.

12:53 Adam Hold on, hold on.

12:53 Caller So does Darren. Hold on.

12:54 Adam What for?

12:56 Caller Because my boyfriend's not around.

12:57 Caller Does it chip your teeth?

13:00 Caller No.

13:01 Adam And...

13:04 Drew Go ahead.

13:06 Caller And I was wondering, is it possible to desensitize myself by using it?

13:10 Drew Yeah, you could, a little bit. Not irreversibly and not horribly, but you can.

13:15 Adam No, but we do hear this.

13:17 Caller So if I did stop using it, I could get like all the feeling back.

13:20 Drew Oh, you've noticed you're desensitized, would you say?

13:22 Caller I think so, yeah. And I'm kind of worried about when my boyfriend comes home. I don't want it to be hard.

13:27 Drew Yes, you could. Or you just got to...

13:28 Goldfinger Actually, you do.

13:31 Adam You don't want it to be difficult to have an orgasm, right?

13:33 Caller Yeah, exactly.

13:34 Adam Right. You have to choose your words carefully in front of Darren. All right.

13:39 Drew Among other things.

13:40 Adam Right. So when is he coming back?

13:43 Caller He's coming back in March.

13:45 Drew You got plenty of time.

13:46 Caller Okay. Thank you.

13:48 Adam You just do what I do. You ice it down after you're done, all right?

13:52 Caller Okay.

13:53 Caller A little bit of heat, too.

13:54 Adam But this is something that's kind of interesting because the vibrator is 30 years old or something, right?

14:00 Drew The instrument? Yeah.

14:01 Adam I mean, the data is not in yet. We don't really know. It's like a cell phone. We don't exactly know what the effect of this is going to be over the long term.

14:11 Drew We've got a couple generations to pull this through.

14:15 Adam And they seem to be okay?

14:16 Drew Everybody seems fine.

14:17 Adam All right. All right. I'm just saying it's tough to compete with that.

14:21 Goldfinger Yeah, the vibrator is the enemy.

14:22 Adam Yeah.

14:23 Caller Plus, you can't use the jackhammer extension either.

14:26 What are you talking about?

14:29 Caller I don't know. Did I say that out loud?

14:31 Adam Jeff?

14:31 Caller Sorry.

14:32 Adam You're 23.

14:33 Caller Yeah. Oh, first, I wanted to ask you guys. There was a couple of Drew drops that you guys don't play anymore.

14:40 Adam Yeah.

14:40 Caller One of them was Drew goes, Hey, I'm a prostitute. I'm stripper. I'm doing drugs.

14:45 Adam Yeah. I like that one.

14:46 I don't know what happened to it.

14:47 Caller And the other one was the Phyllis Diller one. Oh, like Drew. She doesn't like the show.

14:51 Drew Wow. That's like 15 years old.

14:54 Caller Yeah. I've been listening to you forever.

14:55 Adam Listen, I heard that show when I was in the parking lot of a Mayfair Market when I lived in Santa Monica on a Sunday night at 1030. Is that the one where Phyllis Diller got all pissed off and hung up?

15:09 Drew Yeah.

15:09 Adam Was it a phoner or something?

15:11 Drew She goes, I thought it was a funny show. Bye. Yeah.

15:14 Adam That was like 1991 or something. It wasn't 85 or something.

15:19 Drew Right. Maybe 90. Yeah.

15:21 Caller All right.

15:22 Adam I don't think we have the Phyllis Diller one, but do we have the other one?

15:25 Drew Hey, I'm doing drugs. I'm a prostitute. I'm a stripper. I've had a relationship. I don't know whether I'm gay or straight.

15:33 Why doesn't Anderson play it more?

15:35 Adam No, that was just a wonderful recreation done by Drew live.

15:38 Caller Or what?

15:40 No.

15:41 Adam Yeah, I don't know.

15:42 Caller Is that with Booger Man?

15:44 Adam I swear to God, Anderson, he'll play that yawning drop a thousand times when I'm in the middle of a rant that sends me through the, that's what he plays when I'm in the middle of some of my best rants that sends me through the roof. That he'll play all goddamn night long, but he won't play any good Drew drops. Whatever. That's the one that drives me insane too. You better prioritize with those Drew drops. You can never go to the well too often with those out of context Drew drops or OCDs as we like to call them. All right. Or OCDs. That's different. I'm keeping it real yet.

16:19 Drew What was that?

16:20 Adam Do you have one?

16:21 Caller You're keeping it real.

16:22 Adam Wow. I don't even remember you keeping it real. Hey, Jeff?

16:26 Caller Yeah.

16:27 Adam You want anything else?

16:28 Caller Yeah. Yesterday, this was really weird. I totally came out of the movies. I did not know. I mean, I barely knew who I was. I couldn't find my car or anything. I didn't know what my car looked like. I just lost everything.

16:43 Drew How long did it last for?

16:45 Caller About three hours.

16:45 Adam I bet you're pretty disappointed when you found out you're driving a 77 Vega.

16:50 Drew What did you do during that three hours?

16:51 Adam It's like, I hope it's a Porsche.

16:53 Drew You watched a movie?

16:54 Caller No, but afterwards, I was just calling people trying to figure out everything and I slowly came back.

16:59 Drew Well, that's called transient global amnesia and it's sort of a serious thing in somebody your age. It can be a seizure, it can be a stroke, it can be a sign of other, virtually any medical problem you can name can have this as a manifestation. In older folks, it usually is a sign of a stroke.

17:18 Adam What movie was it?

17:20 Caller Toy Story 2. Oh, see, that's the problem.

17:22 Adam There you go, dude. Do you have kids?

17:24 Caller He was hypnotized. Well, no, but I was with my nephew at the time.

17:27 Adam I see. That must have been scary for him.

17:29 Drew You need to call a doctor as soon as possible. Really? You need some testing. Yeah. Actually, transient global amnesia usually ends up being nothing of dramatic consequence. Most often, it is just something that's unexplained and goes unexplained, but it could be a sign of something significant. It needs an evaluation.

17:46 Adam That happened to me once when I was on Mushrooms. Kevin.

17:49 Drew If you did a lot of drugs, it's certainly possible that something could happen.

17:52 Adam Kevin?

17:53 Hello?

17:53 Adam You're 20?

17:54 Caller Yeah, I got a couple of questions for Goldfinger. First of all, when is the album coming out? The full-length album.

17:59 Caller April.

18:01 Caller March. And another question. We're trying to get a copy of your guys' Mabel video. We were in there a few years ago, and I run into you guys every once in a while, and you guys always tell me to call a number, and you can never hook me up.

18:11 Caller Just go to goldfingermusic.com, and you can download videos. We have a home video for sale. That website has pretty much everything.

18:19 Goldfinger That's probably your best bet. Go to goldfingermusic.com, because that video that we're selling has all of our videos and some backstage.

18:26 Caller Thanks for your time, man. Adam and Dr. Drew, you guys rock. Word.

18:29 Adam Word.

18:32 Drew I'm just keeping it real.

18:36 Adam Drew's all about the cheddar. Chloe?

18:39 Hi.

18:40 Adam You're 17?

18:41 Caller Yeah.

18:42 Adam You're on with Goldfinger?

18:43 Caller Hi, Goldfinger. I called about a while ago, and this is about threesome with my twin sister.

18:53 Adam A what? You had a threesome with your twin sister?

18:55 Caller Yeah. Do you remember I called?

18:57 Adam I do. Oh, yeah.

18:58 Caller I remember. Dr. Drew?

19:00 Drew Yeah.

19:00 Caller I took your advice.

19:02 Drew Yeah.

19:03 Caller I went to the meeting, and now I'm living in a separate home than my sister for about two weeks.

19:10 Adam Wait a minute. Is your radio on in the background there, Chloe?

19:14 Caller Hold on. I'm sorry.

19:15 Adam All right. She called a couple of weeks ago, said her and her twin sister had a threesome with a guy.

19:22 Drew I can't quite remember this.

19:23 Goldfinger I think I remember this phone call.

19:24 Drew Tell me about it, Darren. What happened?

19:25 Goldfinger I just remember the subject, not the details.

19:29 Caller And I took the advice she gave me to go to one of the therapy meetings.

19:34 Drew What therapy meetings?

19:35 Caller My sister, my twin sister, has therapy meetings.

19:38 Drew Have sex with your sister anonymous? You went with her?

19:41 Caller For a family session.

19:42 Adam Great.

19:43 Caller And because she had been attacking me.

19:45 Drew She had been attacking you?

19:46 Adam Yeah. Don't you remember this one, Drew?

19:47 Drew No, tell me.

19:48 Adam You want me to tell you?

19:49 Drew Yeah.

19:50 Adam Okay.

19:51 Caller What happened?

19:52 Adam No. Here's what happened. She had this sister that was like violent and was going into therapy and Chloe was going to the family meetings and you were trying to encourage her to pipe up and talk about it in the family meetings and she didn't want to bring it up.

20:09 Drew I'm having trans and global amnesia. What's my name? What's my name?

20:12 Adam I don't care. Asshead.

20:15 Caller Her twin sister talked her into having a threesome.

20:17 Adam Right.

20:17 Caller So she did and then her twin sister freaked out and like punched her and yelled at her.

20:22 Drew Right, right, right, right, right. Right, right. After this weird sex look thing.

20:26 Goldfinger Wait, I think this was with Charlie. Weren't you there?

20:28 Drew No.

20:28 Goldfinger All right.

20:29 Drew So you went to the therapy and what happened?

20:31 Caller And my sister went, I'm sorry if there's a beep because somebody's trying to call me and I'm not going to answer it.

20:37 Drew Right.

20:38 Caller So I was at the therapy meeting and my sister sat there and we discussed it and she, the therapist, ended up speaking to my mom and telling my mom about the threesome.

20:49 Goldfinger Oh boy.

20:50 Caller And my mom was really disgusted and she made me move in with my aunt for two weeks.

20:57 Drew She blamed you?

20:58 Caller Yeah, I'm staying with my aunt.

21:00 Drew But she blamed you for the experience?

21:03 Caller No, she blamed both of us but mostly I got in trouble for it because my sister is like a little crazy. Because she had drug abuse and everything.

21:13 Adam Where's your dad? Is he around? No.

21:16 Drew So in other words they were expecting you to sort of keep it together?

21:19 Caller Yeah.

21:19 Drew And not give in to your sister?

21:20 Adam Okay, so now what's going on?

21:22 Caller So my sister is currently at home and I still see her in school. And what she did was she posted pictures of me that she found that my boyfriend had taken about two years ago on the Internet. And she's doing everything in her path that she can possibly do to ruin me and hurt me.

21:42 Adam Pictures of you doing what?

21:45 Caller She's just embarrassing me and she tried to physically assault me in school. And I love her and I just don't understand why like I try to talk to her and she just won't. And she's telling my mom that like it was my fault and that I instigated it.

22:02 Adam Oh, boy. All right. Listen, Chloe, I know you're in a bad way right now, but you know better than anyone in this room how nutty your sister is, right? So all bets are off. Do you know what I mean? I mean, she does a lot of horrible things, but she's a nutty person. And sometimes nutty people do horrible things. And you're sort of taking everything she does as if, you know, you guys were really close and she was really sane and all of a sudden she lashed out at you. She's nutty. This is just one more, this is just one more act of a nutty person and she's done many, many acts. I mean, you shouldn't be surprised anymore. I know you're disappointed that your own sister would do this to you, but are you really surprised?

22:50 Caller Kind of, because I mean, one of my best friends was telling me that it might have something to do with like a twin syndrome.

22:57 Drew No, no. Chloe, listen, is she an addict?

23:00 Adam Too much Night Rider.

23:01 Drew Yeah. Is your sister an addict presently? Yeah. Okay. When people are addicted to drugs, just think about somebody whose brain is discharging uncontrollably. She is on drugs. Her brain is not functioning normally. There's no telling what behaviors will manifest. Okay. It changes. It's not the same person. Yes, you love your sister, but she has a profound illness now, and her behaviors are unpredictable, and it's really, I think, important not to be in her life when she's using drugs.

23:28 Adam All right. So Chloe, you got to take care of yourself. Don't act out. Don't get into trouble. Study hard. Don't piss your aunt off. Go far away to college somewhere and sign your sister off. Just write her out of your life.

23:42 Drew It's easy to say.

23:43 Adam Well, listen.

23:44 Drew But stay away.

23:45 Adam You just got to write her off for the time it takes for her to get normal again, and you guys will have a reunion, and she'll apologize, and she'll get sober. Maybe. And all that good stuff. Come on, Charlie. She's crying already. What do you want?

23:59 Caller No. I mean, I'm just saying, I mean, no matter how much you love somebody, sometimes you just have to cut them off. And if you're going to be 18 next year, you might, as brutal as it'll be, might need to just cut her out of your life. I mean, you're going to have your own pad or whatever you're going to do. Maybe you're going to go off to go to school. But it sucks, but sometimes the only thing you can do is walk away from somebody.

24:20 Adam Right. And this happens in just about every family where a brother and a sister or a mother and a daughter or whatever, there's a rift and it goes on for a year. Sometimes ten years, sometimes six months. There's always those little separations and then people end up mending those because they're family. So I think this will happen with Chloe eventually and her sister, but let her get sober and let her get sane and until then don't have any contact with her. All right.

24:47 Drew I'm going to talk to Chloe off the air.

24:48 Adam You are?

24:49 Drew Yeah.

24:49 Adam Okay. We're going to take a break. Goldfinger is here tonight. We're going to hear something off the new CD when we come back. We'll also take some more calls after this.

25:03 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

25:29 Adam Here is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. We've got John and Kelly and Charlie and Darren, all from Goldfaring.

25:39 Caller I want to give a shout out to Unwritten Law and the imposters who are listening.

25:42 Adam Oh, really?

25:43 Caller Hello.

25:44 Adam Unwritten Law was on the show four weeks ago.

25:47 Drew You got the first time you ever wore one of their hats in about a month.

25:49 Adam What hat am I wearing tonight?

25:51 Drew Elliott Dodgers.

25:51 Adam Oh, I must have sweated through.

25:53 Caller And this is PK.

25:54 Caller With Unwritten Law.

25:55 Caller And you're listening to Loveline. With Adam Corolla.

25:58 Caller That guy is so fast.

25:59 Caller My God.

26:00 Adam What's that? Silver Tongues, those unwritten lawyers. They were in here like a month ago, right?

26:08 Caller Yeah.

26:09 Adam All right. Three months ago?

26:11 Caller Yeah.

26:11 Adam Oh, Jesus Christ. Darren's Coconut Ass, live from Omaha is the name of the CD. I think we should hear something off it. Now, are they all covers? All covers.

26:22 Caller All covers.

26:23 Adam Wait a minute. All right. Drew, cover for me while I'm looking for covers. On the back.

26:27 Drew Do you want to take a call?

26:29 Adam No. All right. Yeah. We'll take a call and then we'll hear a song. Evan? Yeah. You're 20. What's up?

26:36 Caller About a month ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's actually the first time I've ever been really dumped. I don't know. It hurt really bad. And like ever since, I've just been like trying to find a replacement kind of like another girlfriend. I don't know. It's been like frantic. I've been going.

26:59 Caller Rebound.

27:00 Caller Excuse me?

27:01 Caller Yeah. Rebound.

27:02 Caller I went to like a couple of my ex-girlfriends, tried getting back with them or you know just trying to keep contact with them.

27:08 Drew Yeah, but Evan, this is all trying to find some sort of life preserver to prevent you from feeling the pain of the loss of the relationship you have now lost. You've got to just go through this and learn from it too. Find out what went wrong in this relationship. Why she dumped you?

27:21 Caller Oh, she told me why she dumped me and I know why she dumped me. I'm addicted to marijuana. I've been drinking, I've been smoking for about three years constantly.

27:33 Drew Why don't you do something about your addiction? This is one of many, many losses.

27:36 Adam Why should he? She's gone.

27:37 Drew Yeah.

27:38 Adam Now's the time to smoke out.

27:40 Goldfinger Find a girlfriend who's addicted to marijuana.

27:42 Adam Numb your brain.

27:43 Drew This is one of many, many losses you're going to have in your life. You really made it clear.

27:48 Caller Good job at a head shop.

27:49 Goldfinger Good ol fish show.

27:50 Drew You made it clear that the marijuana is more important than somebody you really love.

27:53 Caller But no. I was willing to give it up and I was going to and before, before I guess I was able to or before I guess I began to try, she just called me and told me that I was too heavily addicted into it. She and her family has a past of drugs and she wanted to be away from it.

28:15 Adam Is she sober? Is she a sober person?

28:18 Caller Kind of, sort of, yeah.

28:21 Drew She's a codependent.

28:23 Adam Well, she was a raging codependent, she'd still be with him.

28:25 Drew That's right. That's right.

28:26 Adam She's a mild codependent.

28:30 Caller She told me that she didn't want me to quit for her. She didn't want that hanging over her head.

28:37 Drew This is also a quasi-treated codependency. It's like she could have hung in with you if she were focusing on her own recovery.

28:44 Adam But Evan's angle is, you know, he was fixing to quit, but she split before. Like he's on some downhill run that he already started and she didn't wait until he completed it.

28:56 Drew Which is nonsense.

28:57 Adam All you have to do is not smoke pot.

28:59 Caller Well, I kind of felt like she gave up on me.

29:02 Drew If you didn't go to program, if you weren't getting treatment, she should give up on you because you aren't going to stop.

29:07 Adam All right, Evan.

29:08 Goldfinger She's out of your life.

29:09 Adam There you go. You'll find another one.

29:11 Caller Also, one more thing, guys.

29:12 Goldfinger Smoke a fatty.

29:13 Adam Yes.

29:13 Caller I listen to you guys every night. I work at night and I'd like to say hi to everybody working in Ability Maintenance working out there tonight.

29:21 Adam All right.

29:22 Caller In the holes.

29:23 Adam Are they just going to offices and cleaning up?

29:26 Caller No, we clean parking lots for a living.

29:27 Caller Oh, even better.

29:30 Caller What's the sickest thing you've ever found?

29:32 Caller Oh, God, the sickest thing I've ever found in a target parking lot. Oh, sorry. I probably shouldn't have said the name. That's all right.

29:38 Goldfinger A little late.

29:40 Caller I want to be stoned.

29:42 Caller We found a pair of pantyhose where a woman had messed herself and just, I guess, yikes. And left it.

29:48 Goldfinger Well, number one, number two, or how do you know it was a woman?

29:50 Caller Number two.

29:51 Goldfinger Oh, Lord.

29:52 Caller Because it was a pair of pantyhose. It could have been a man.

29:55 Goldfinger What city was that in? What city?

29:58 Caller Are you thinking it might be your mom there?

29:59 Goldfinger It might be me.

30:01 Caller Was it in Buffalo?

30:02 Adam All right, Evan. All right. All right. Good luck. Wow, jeez. Who could leave all that? The guy cleans parking lots at four in the morning. He's addicted to weed. You wonder what this broad was thinking. Where is she going?

30:15 Goldfinger Nothing but downhill now.

30:16 Yeah.

30:17 Adam Must have, I don't know. I mean, you know what I mean? All right. He's shocked. We'll listen to a little Goldfinger now. That's what we should do. All right. This one's called Just Like Heaven. That is Goldfinger. That sounds good.

32:24 Goldfinger Actually, that was the cure. That was us doing the cure.

32:28 Adam You know, what's kind of neat is, that sort of seems like how the song should have went.

32:34 Caller We met Robert Smith in Boston. Drew does not agree.

32:37 Drew No, no, I like that song.

32:38 Caller It was so cool. We're watching the specials play at the Middle East in Boston, and Robert Smith is on stage. I mean, he's still got the makeup and the hair, but he's listening to ska music. You can picture this guy. He has this thing. It looked like he was drinking water. This thing filled with vodka, just standing next to us going, Oh, his breath was so good. Yeah, pretty good breath. But he's like, I remember these guys. I could just see him at a special show in 77, like skanking Robert Smith. Something I couldn't imagine. It was really bizarre.

33:04 Goldfinger You know what he did at a special show? He was at the back. He watched, went home and cried and wrote all the songs.

33:08 Probably.

33:10 Adam That was the right pace for that song.

33:12 Drew But these guys really walked in the studio and did that one take?

33:15 Caller Yeah.

33:16 Adam That was one? Really?

33:17 Caller I had to overdo my guitar solos. That's all.

33:19 Caller Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was one.

33:21 Goldfinger We pretty much pressed record and play and just went.

33:24 Adam You weren't even planning on that?

33:25 Caller There's only four chords in the whole song.

33:27 Caller No.

33:28 Adam I know. Listen, it's impressive. It just sounded good.

33:31 Caller Well, thanks.

33:31 Adam That's all.

33:33 Goldfinger We're the best rock band on earth.

33:35 Adam We're partial to them.

33:36 Caller Next to Skinnerd.

33:37 Adam They're bigger than Jesus. Next to it. Wyatt?

33:42 Yeah, what's up?

33:42 Adam You're 18. What's up?

33:43 Caller I just want to tell Goldfinger that their first album was like the reason I really got into punk music.

33:51 Caller But it's a Calypso record, dude.

33:53 Caller What?

33:54 Caller Thank you very much.

33:55 Goldfinger Your name's Wyatt?

33:56 Caller Yeah.

33:56 Goldfinger Is your last name Earp?

33:58 Caller Oh my God.

33:59 Caller It's just like that Jay Leno question.

34:02 Caller Now he doesn't like us anymore.

34:03 Adam I always keep an eye on a clock to see what time the band turns on Darren. It's usually about five minutes into the show.

34:12 Goldfinger This is just like a record.

34:14 Adam They must be tired or something. Is he wearing you guys down?

34:18 Caller Wyatt Earp.

34:19 Caller Wyatt, thank you. That's a really good compliment, man. Thank you.

34:22 Caller You're very, very funny.

34:23 Caller Your question is?

34:24 Caller Funny, funny. I saw you guys in Petaluma, California at the Phoenix Theater.

34:29 Goldfinger That place just closed down.

34:30 Caller No, it hasn't.

34:32 Goldfinger I had a friend, a buddy of mine, email me and said it's closed down.

34:34 Caller I think Wyatt lives there, dude.

34:35 Caller No, I live about 10 miles away.

34:37 Goldfinger So it's not closed down?

34:38 Caller I promote shows for Repetaph.

34:39 Caller I'm the Petestri team, so I know all about it.

34:41 Drew I love that club.

34:41 Goldfinger Well, that's good news, then.

34:42 Caller Now the audience is turning on, Darren.

34:43 Goldfinger What? So it's definitely not closed down.

34:45 Drew Matters.

34:46 Caller What's your question, dude?

34:50 Caller You guys went on tour with Bad Religion a while ago?

34:52 Drew Yeah.

34:53 Caller Are they breaking up?

34:54 Caller No, they're doing a new record.

34:56 Caller Because they're doing another album, but it's called The Last Word. It's like, I'm really worried they're going to break up and I'm never going to hear any more Bad Religion songs.

35:01 Caller Dude, they made like 79 records. You will always have Bad Religion.

35:05 Goldfinger They've been together for 20 years.

35:07 Caller 30 years. They have been.

35:09 Caller 30 years?

35:11 Caller They haven't been together since 1958, bro. Is that? No. 1968.

35:18 Adam I mean, they're coming up on 20 years.

35:20 Caller Yeah, they are. Singer's coming up on 60. Wait a second.

35:24 Goldfinger We're going to get back to him.

35:25 We love you, Greg.

35:26 All right.

35:27 Adam Darren will email you.

35:30 Caller That's the truth.

35:31 Yeah.

35:31 Adam You're 27.

35:33 Caller Yep.

35:33 Adam What's up?

35:37 Caller I can only have vaginal orgasms. I can't have clitoral orgasms.

35:41 Adam Same here.

35:42 Drew What does that mean?

35:44 Caller It means that when I have sex with a guy, he tries to give me a clitoral orgasm, and I want him to give me a vaginal orgasm.

35:51 Drew We don't know. What is the difference?

35:53 Adam Well, you're just talking about oral sex versus intercourse?

35:57 Caller No, I'm talking about being stimulated from within rather than in the clitoris.

36:05 Adam Right. All right. Some women make a distinction, and some women don't. We don't really care.

36:11 Drew It's all the same thing.

36:11 Adam Fake it.

36:12 Drew We don't care. The ultimate reaction is the same no matter where it comes from.

36:16 Caller Is it really?

36:17 Caller Yeah.

36:18 Adam Well, do you know?

36:19 Caller What's up with the squirter then?

36:21 Drew Squirting is an intense version of a regular orgasm. Although some women we talk to claim that it seems to be fairly random and it's not. And it's not so much about intensity.

36:31 Adam More prevalent than we know. Charlie? Up with a squirter. You ever been squirted?

36:35 Caller A few times, yeah.

36:36 Adam Really?

36:36 Caller Well, first time I thought I was getting peed on.

36:38 Adam Right.

36:39 Caller Which was cool, you know, whatever.

36:42 Adam You just wish the dude would have stopped.

36:45 Caller Shoo!

36:46 Caller Hey dude, I thought we weren't going to talk about your dad. Oh, okay.

36:50 Adam Come on, now it's time for another wider clip.

36:52 Drew You're gay.

36:53 Caller By the way.

36:54 Adam What?

36:55 Caller The Phoenix Theater is not closed.

36:57 Caller Damn, Darren, people are just taking you to town.

36:59 Caller Everyone's turned on and off.

37:00 Caller We love the Phoenix Theater next.

37:02 Adam All right, so Star, you're having an orgasm, fine, okay?

37:08 Caller No, there's different kinds. I want people to have both kinds.

37:11 Drew Have you ever had the other kind?

37:13 Caller A clitoral orgasm?

37:14 Caller Yeah.

37:15 Caller Once.

37:16 Drew And what was different about that?

37:18 Caller Um, I don't know.

37:20 Adam Well, what were you doing?

37:22 Caller I wasn't doing it. He was.

37:26 Adam What was he doing?

37:27 Caller Um, I don't know. It was just...

37:29 Adam All right, shut up. Jesus Christ. It was 10 minutes to figure out what was going on with her snatch.

37:34 Drew The point is, there's no difference.

37:36 Adam Jesus Christ. Who cares?

37:37 Drew Really, maybe some self-perceptor.

37:39 Adam Listen, I don't like it when someone's having an orgasm and feeling gypped or ripped off or cheated.

37:43 Caller As long as the end result is there, what do you care?

37:46 Adam Yeah, we got one orgasm. That's all we need.

37:49 Goldfinger She's like, I want a million dollars, but it was all in nickels.

37:52 Yeah.

37:53 Caller What?

37:55 Adam No, I know what he's saying.

37:55 Goldfinger You got a million dollars. Shut up.

37:57 Right, right.

37:58 Adam If you said tens, it would have been...

38:00 Goldfinger Funnier, yeah.

38:00 Adam Yeah, that would be better.

38:01 Caller Anyway.

38:03 Caller You're done. I'm back.

38:04 Goldfinger Now you turn down me, Adam.

38:05 Adam No, I still love you.

38:06 Caller Drew's next.

38:07 Drew I'm going.

38:08 Adam Sarah?

38:09 Yeah.

38:09 Adam You're 19?

38:10 Caller Yeah.

38:10 Adam You're on with Goldfinger.

38:12 Caller Hey, what's up? I had a question. It has been bugging me a lot. I just recently moved back from the East Coast and I guess I was surrounded by a lot of bisexual people. And recently, I've been, like, had this, I've had this attraction to other girls. And I mean, this is just recently because I totally love guys, but like, I can totally see myself with a girl.

38:40 Adam Right. And what's the East Coast have to do with this?

38:44 Caller Well, because, I mean, in Miami, I was, like, with a lot of, I hung around with a lot of girls who were just into this. But I myself have never had a bisexual experience.

38:56 Adam Yeah, wherever the weather gets hot, you know, like roaches get bigger and chicks get hornier and people start acting out, the heat kind of does that. Makes you crazy. Yeah, it's not so much of this in, like, Minnesota. You know what I mean? It's a little bit of it. But where it gets hot, like, you know, Rio de Janeiro and stuff, people just take their pants off and start humping anything that moves. All right. So, Sarah?

39:19 Caller Yeah.

39:19 Adam So you blame it on Miami.

39:21 Caller No, I mean, I mean...

39:22 Adam There's also a lot of old Jews there, too. Maybe you're going Jewish.

39:26 Caller No.

39:27 Adam No.

39:27 Caller Okay. There's like a lot of, like, really pretty girls. And, like, I had a dream the other day where I was, like, having a sexual experience with another girl. And I was like, wow.

39:38 Adam Okay.

39:39 Goldfinger Did you get it on tape?

39:40 Caller No.

39:41 Adam All right. I made up for the lie.

39:42 Caller I wonder if this is normal.

39:44 Drew I mean... Well, anything, anything in your history to confuse your sexual identity?

39:48 Caller No. I'm just, like, so confused. I'm like, God...

39:50 Drew But there's no previous history of any trauma or anything to make it...

39:53 Caller No.

39:54 Adam All right. So why don't you try screwing around with a woman, see how you like it? You don't have a boyfriend right now?

40:00 Caller No. But I mean, a lot of people ask me, have you ever been with a girl? I'm like, no, but I want to.

40:05 Caller All right.

40:05 Adam Well, go ahead. You have me, Drew, and the band's blessing on this one.

40:10 Caller Absolutely. If it smells good, eat it.

40:11 Adam That's right.

40:12 Goldfinger Send it to PO. Box 12.

40:16 Adam Sarah?

40:16 Caller Yeah?

40:17 Adam Yeah, go ahead. You're a curious experiment. You'll probably just check it off the list, but that's fine.

40:22 Caller So do a lot of people do this, or?

40:25 Caller Tons, more than you know.

40:26 Adam Yeah.

40:27 Caller Really?

40:27 Adam Yes. All right.

40:28 Caller All right.

40:29 Caller Drew, is there something about women's makeup or something that makes them more prone to bisexuality?

40:37 Drew We don't know if it's a biological thing or a cultural thing or both, but women are generally just more fluid with their sexuality.

40:43 Caller No pun intended.

40:44 Drew No. It's easier for them to consider same-sex kinds of experience. It's something that more easily, for a male, it's a heterosexual male that's a very tough reach. You can't even process, you can't even make it there. For a woman, she's open to that, and she can come back from that. For a man, he goes that direction, he tends to stay there.

41:04 Adam And in society, it looks at women as sort of...

41:07 Drew But maybe that's because of the biology, right?

41:10 Adam Well, I don't know. Whenever we try to sell something, it's a chick who's selling it, and chicks appreciate chicks, and guys appreciate chicks, and it's sort of what we use as the...

41:20 Drew Sexual object.

41:21 Adam Right. We recognize women. I think women recognize them too. God bless them. I know women, just about every woman I know has a friend or some celebrity they know from TV or something who goes, yeah, I'd do it with her. You know what I'm saying? Whereas guys aren't like, well, I'm not really into dudes, but I'd blow Stu. Stu's... Stu plays one hell of a game of snooker, and I'm really impressed.

41:49 Drew Snooker?

41:50 Adam Yeah. I mean, he can really shoot snooker.

41:51 Drew What's up, guys?

41:52 Goldfinger I know what John's thinking.

41:54 Caller Darren loves Wayne Gretzky. I mean, like, he always talks about having sex with him.

41:59 Goldfinger I have a song that I wrote, and it's called The Only Man I'd Have Sex With, and it's about Wayne Gretzky.

42:04 Drew Adam's got one of those.

42:05 Goldfinger It's on the CD I brought it here for you.

42:06 Adam But I just say the Kings.

42:07 Drew No, no, no.

42:08 Caller Jimmy. Oh, the whole Kings?

42:09 Goldfinger I would have sex with the whole Kings.

42:12 Adam No, but really, you really think if Bush came to Shove, you'd get it on with Wayne?

42:18 Goldfinger I'd make out with him.

42:19 Adam Would you?

42:19 Caller Yeah.

42:20 Adam I mean, just to get a picture?

42:21 Goldfinger Just for bragging rights.

42:22 Adam Right.

42:23 Goldfinger Bragging rights.

42:24 Caller Celebrity bragging rights.

42:25 Adam All right.

42:26 Caller No, but I want to just I just want to ask something. I mean, if if if Drew, if you say that men like it's impossible for them to conceive it, I didn't say impossible. Harder, harder.

42:35 Caller Heterosexual men.

42:36 Caller I mean, how come like, well, I don't even go there. But I mean, I just wonder why so many people got another Darren story. Like like to say as kids, they, you know, mess around with their friends or this or that just to see kind of what's going on or maybe it's I think when you're a kid, I think when you're a kid, you're like a monkey.

42:53 Adam Just, you know, whatever's around, you grab on to it or pull yours out.

42:58 Drew That's just experimentation, experimentation, exploration. Monkeying around does not have a sexual goal. It's a sexual orientation.

43:04 Adam Well, no. But you know, there's there's some energy to it. There's just no firepower behind it.

43:10 Drew But that's not directed.

43:11 Adam But let's just take it from once you become an adult or after puberty. Once that once that comes into play, most guys are either in or they're out. And there's none of that. Well, I could go either way or you could talk me into this one. If I had a few wine coolers, I'd blow Gretzky.

43:27 Caller Hey man, it's just a piece of skin.

43:29 Goldfinger I had sex with my bed once.

43:32 Caller You talked about this last time.

43:33 Caller Too much information.

43:34 Adam All right. We're going to we're going to we're going to move on.

43:39 Drew Faggot better run through.

43:40 Adam Please do not judge.

43:42 Caller What was that? I can't believe that came out of your mouth.

43:44 Adam Do not judge him that. There's a long story behind that. All right. We are going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, I'm going to explain how I sodomized Gordie Howe once during an All-Star Game. Sweet.

43:57 Caller Gretzky is really the good one, not the great one.

44:00 Adam We'll be back after this.

44:03 Caller Yo, Loveline, we'll be right back, homie.

44:34 Adam It is Loveline. We have Goldfinger here tonight. We got John and Kelly and Charlie, and of course, everyone's favorite, Darren.

44:43 Caller Yeah, word up.

44:45 Adam And the new CD is called Darren's Coconut Ass, Live From Omaha. And even though most of these songs were done in one take, it is tight, very, very tight. All right, where the hell were we? We'll hear another song off it too. About 20 minutes or so. So let's go back to the phones. Tracy?

45:08 Caller Yeah?

45:08 Adam Year 25, what's up?

45:11 Caller Well, just recently, I've been hanging out with my friend, and he's 18. And I've known him for like a year, maybe more, and I've known him through his mom. And if his mom ever found out, he'd kill me. But we had just been hanging out, and then it just kind of started to escalate. And I was just wondering, because you know, I really don't have any problem getting guys. And is there something wrong with me?

45:36 Drew Being with somebody so young, is that what you're asking?

45:37 Caller Yeah.

45:38 Adam You having sex with them?

45:40 Caller Kind of. Yeah.

45:42 Adam Yeah. But you...

45:43 Drew Kind of. Yeah, I know.

45:44 Caller I know.

45:45 Drew Interesting answer.

45:46 Adam And you have a nine-year-old and a three-year-old, the screen says?

45:50 Caller The what?

45:51 Drew You have a nine-year-old?

45:52 Caller Yeah, I have a nine-year-old and a three-year-old, but they don't, but they go to their dad's house and.

45:57 Right.

45:58 Adam I'm sure he's a gym. How old is the dad?

46:02 Caller He's 32.

46:04 Uh-huh.

46:05 Drew So, he was 16. He was 23.

46:08 Caller Right.

46:08 Adam Right. So, he's all class. Which trade is he in? Drywall or is he a tin knocker?

46:15 Goldfinger Let's guess. Should we guess?

46:16 Caller How about auto mechanic?

46:17 Adam Oh, that sounds about right.

46:20 Goldfinger There was a pool there, but we-

46:22 Caller It's kind of like a lawyer.

46:23 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Except for you get nine bucks an hour and you repack a front wheel bearings and give dissertations. Okay.

46:34 Drew Packing something up.

46:35 Adam Right. So, how is the biological dad, by the way?

46:39 Caller What do you mean?

46:40 Adam Is he a good guy?

46:41 Caller Yeah.

46:42 Caller He's a good guy.

46:43 Caller Just didn't work out between us.

46:44 Adam All right. But he loves his kids?

46:46 Caller Right.

46:46 Adam Okay. And he sees them a couple of days a week?

46:48 Caller Right. Yeah.

46:50 Adam All right. And are you in love with this 18-year-old?

46:55 Caller No, I'm not in love with him. I just, I really like spending time with him.

46:58 Adam Right. But you like spending time with guys in general, right?

47:04 Caller Yeah. But not intimately.

47:06 Adam You don't?

47:07 Caller Well, unless you're bisexual.

47:10 Caller Yeah.

47:12 Adam What? Are you bisexual?

47:14 Caller Should be, but that's not the issue.

47:16 Adam Oh, boy. I'm about ready to start gambling on you.

47:19 Caller Okay.

47:20 Adam All right.

47:21 Caller All right.

47:21 Adam Let's do some gambling.

47:22 Goldfinger Let's do it.

47:23 Adam You guys got some money?

47:24 Goldfinger Yeah. I got a dollar.

47:26 Adam It's been a while since we've gambled with somebody.

47:27 Drew Goldfinger.

47:29 Adam Drew?

47:29 Drew I have a wallet.

47:30 Adam You don't have any money? I got money.

47:32 Caller I have a dollar. I have a dollar.

47:33 Goldfinger I have a dollar.

47:34 Adam I have a dollar.

47:35 Caller I've never played this. What's the gamble?

47:37 Goldfinger He'll explain it.

47:38 Adam All right. Here's the deal. Tracy is, what do you need? A dollar, Drew?

47:42 Drew Thank you.

47:42 Adam Okay. We got a nice pot half in it. Three-quarters of it is mine, but it's still exciting. All right. Here's the way we play the gambling game. You have to be specific, and we gamble on Tracy's past. Now, we know she got pregnant at like 15, 15 and a half, something like that. She got pregnant by a guy who was like 22. She's bisexual. She's got another kid, probably from another relationship. Let me check here. Tracy? Three-year-old from another guy?

48:10 Caller Oh, my God. You guys are pretty good, aren't you?

48:12 Adam All right. Hold on.

48:13 Drew Where's he? We'll be right back. What's his deal?

48:16 Caller Oh, he's the one that comes and picks up the kids.

48:19 Drew What? Where's the nine-year-old's dad?

48:21 Caller Oh, he's a deadbeat off somewhere else.

48:24 Adam Oh, okay. So that's not the mechanic?

48:26 Caller No. No. This guy does rocks or drywall or something. I don't know.

48:30 Adam Yeah, he hangs sheetrock.

48:31 Yeah, I'll bet.

48:32 Adam Does he?

48:33 Caller No.

48:34 Caller That's what I know.

48:35 Adam What's he do for a living?

48:37 Caller I'm not sure, you know. I guess he probably lives off his mom.

48:40 Adam Okay. Hold on a second.

48:41 Goldfinger I got my bet. I got mine.

48:42 All right.

48:43 Adam All right. Well, now, what we do is we gamble on Tracy's past. What kind of environment does she grow up in? Was there alcoholism, physical abuse, sexual abuse? Sometimes you can say nothing. Everything's fine. Parents still together. No overt abuse. That's not a bad bet sometimes. Sometimes they don't admit to things. All right. Darren, you want to go first?

49:02 Goldfinger I'd say her father was an alcoholic. And I'm not going to be specific about which parent left, but it's definitely a one-parent situation.

49:11 Drew What time? How old?

49:12 Goldfinger Parents divorced when they were separated when she was 11.

49:18 Adam Eleven. All right. Charlie?

49:21 Caller I will definitely say that the father. Oh, man.

49:26 Adam I love this guy.

49:27 Caller Well, I want to say he, you know, sexually abused her or he left, but I can only pick one, right?

49:32 Adam No, you can go with that.

49:33 Drew You go both.

49:33 Adam If sexually abused her on the way out.

49:35 Caller He sexually abused her on the way out.

49:37 Drew What age?

49:38 Caller Oh, man.

49:41 Adam Because we're all booking on the guy.

49:42 Caller I'll say before 12, definitely.

49:47 Drew Darren's got 11.

49:49 Caller Then I'll take 11 and down.

49:51 Adam Eleven and down. All right. Kelly?

49:53 Caller That seems pretty safe. I got to go completely different.

49:57 Drew No, you can just modify that and make it more specific.

49:59 Caller Modify that? I'm definitely going to go with the one parent, probably the father, hence all the men. Right.

50:09 Caller The father stayed?

50:10 Caller No, the father bailed. All right. She's definitely got some issues about men.

50:14 Adam All right. Hold on. Hold on one second, everybody, because I'm looking up the clock. We got to take a break here. We'll get back. We'll get to the gambling. We'll get to the bottom of Tracy. We'll do that with Goldfinger and we'll get to the whole thing after this.

50:25 Caller Back once again with the Loveline. Loveline, the Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew will be right back before you know it.

50:57 Adam It's Loveline. We're going to take a quick ten-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just ten seconds.

51:05 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

51:21 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Goldfinger is here. Of course, that means John and Kelly and Charlie and Darren. And when we left off, and by the way, Darren's Coconut Ass Live from Omaha is the latest CD, and we're going to hear something else off of that soon. But first, we have to finish the game. Let me just say hi to Tracy again. Tracy? So Tracy's 25. She has a nine-year-old and a three-year-old.

51:50 An 18-year-old lover.

51:51 Adam An 18-year-old lover. The kids are from two different guys. And one of the guys, she was pregnant when she was 15 and a half, and the guy was like 23 or something like that, right?

52:04 Right.

52:04 Adam All right. Hang on, Tracy, because we're gambling on you. And you're bisexual.

52:09 Drew Maybe.

52:09 Adam Is that true?

52:11 Goldfinger Yeah.

52:11 Adam Okay. So Darren got his bed in, Charlie got his bed in.

52:16 Goldfinger Come in.

52:17 Adam Kelly, Kelly, sort of halfway into his bed.

52:19 Caller I'm going to go molested at a young age. I'm going to go about four or five.

52:25 Adam Four or five. Who did the molesting? Dad? Dad did the molesting?

52:29 Caller It's either dad or I'm going to go. It's like it's, you know.

52:32 Adam All right.

52:33 Drew Go uncle dude, go uncle. Charlie said that, right? You said dad?

52:38 Caller I kind of want to go, can I go uncle slash family member?

52:41 Drew All right. Not dad. Yeah, okay.

52:43 Adam Okay. I see. All right.

52:44 Goldfinger John, Meg.

52:45 Caller I'm not going to go with any of, I'm just going to go dad alcoholism left it. She was nine. That's my, that's my, that's my.

52:53 Adam Drew, what do you think?

52:53 Drew You want to go first?

52:54 Adam All right. I'll go. Bisexuality and lots of guys, lots of confusion. I'm going to go with never really knew the dad. Kind of like her kid not knowing her dad, first dad. And mom bringing in a succession of sort of boyfriend, uncle types, step dads. One of those guys got to her. Okay. That's good. That's mine.

53:22 Drew That's almost where I was going. What do you think? I agree with that. I'll go a little bit different. I'll say that Jennifer is not Tracy rather. No, I think Adam's kind of got it. Really? Yeah, I think so.

53:33 Adam Never know.

53:34 Drew That this is an exact recreation of mom.

53:38 Adam That's what I'm going with.

53:39 Drew Tracy is mom. This is it. Mom has recreated it. But I'll say no sexual abuse. A lot of chaos in the house. Mom's totally chaotic. Guys threw what not and as an escape, she started messing around with her friends, peers at a young age, like nine, let's say.

53:54 Goldfinger And the winner is Tracy.

53:56 Caller You guys have it all wrong. How could you just mess all that up like that?

54:01 Adam I told you someone should have went for denial.

54:03 Caller I was an alcoholic. Mom and dad separated at 11.

54:07 Caller I'm nothing like my mother.

54:09 Adam Wait a minute.

54:09 Drew Wait a minute. Hold on.

54:11 Adam Hold on a second.

54:12 Drew So far, you've hit on a couple of them exactly.

54:14 Adam Your dad was an alcoholic?

54:16 Caller My dad was an alcoholic. John? I separated when I was 11.

54:18 Adam Eleven.

54:19 Caller Darren. I'm nothing like my mother. She's only had like two boyfriends in my whole life. And my dad lived two blocks from me. He was an alcoholic.

54:27 All right.

54:27 Adam So Darren went with alcohol.

54:29 Caller Any molestation?

54:30 Caller What?

54:31 Caller Were you ever molested?

54:32 Caller What kind of question is that?

54:33 Caller What's part of the game?

54:35 Caller No, I wasn't.

54:35 Caller All right.

54:36 Drew You don't want to mess around with the kids here.

54:39 Caller I just want to know.

54:40 Adam No, no, no. We're not losers. Darren nailed it head on.

54:43 Drew Darren got it exactly.

54:44 Adam You should feel really bad about that, by the way.

54:47 Caller If the drummer can figure out your psychological makeup.

54:50 Adam Yeah.

54:50 Goldfinger So did I win?

54:51 Adam It's a very bad sign.

54:53 Caller He said dad alcoholic, though.

54:55 Drew Yeah, but Darren hit.

54:56 Caller He got the 11.

54:57 Drew Darren got it exactly.

54:57 Adam Your parents broke up when you were 11?

55:00 Caller Yes.

55:00 Adam Okay. When did you lose your virginity?

55:04 Caller When I was 14.

55:05 Adam How old was the guy?

55:07 Drew 19.

55:07 Caller I believe he was 18.

55:10 Adam That's getting close to a little bit.

55:12 Drew Did you mess around with any kids your own age before that?

55:14 Caller Oh, yeah. Before that, no. No, but just up till recently, because I split up with my youngest daughter's father, not too long ago, about a year ago. That's when I started dating guys, my recent to my age, and then all of a sudden, I just did this big drop and started dating guys younger than me.

55:31 Adam Right. But we're not really interested in the present. We're just sort of what led you to the present. You know what I mean? So you're 14, you lost your virginity to a guy you say is 18, but it's probably more like 20?

55:42 Caller Yeah.

55:43 Caller Excuse me?

55:44 Caller Yeah.

55:44 Adam When you were 14, you lost your virginity to a guy who was 20?

55:50 Caller No.

55:51 Adam How old?

55:51 Caller 18.

55:52 Adam All right. Okay. Nothing before then?

55:55 Caller No.

55:56 Drew Did you do any experimentation with kids your own age or anything?

55:59 Caller Remember that?

56:00 Caller Probably when I was younger. I think all kids do that.

56:03 Adam Yes, they do, Drew. So that's not going to get you a dollar.

56:05 Goldfinger You're pulling at straws now.

56:06 Drew No, I got a real strong sense of something here.

56:10 Adam Yeah, you got a real strong sense you're out six bucks.

56:12 Drew No, I'm out of the way because Darren hit exactly right with the dad and stuff. But I still think this is something.

56:16 Adam And you're really riding high because you didn't even put a goddamn buck in. That's my dollar I'm giving to Darren. My problem is that Darren will smoke that and go right to his head.

56:25 Drew It still doesn't explain where all the sexual identity problem comes from. The dad leaving at 11 is not the big deal.

56:29 Adam Yeah.

56:30 Drew That's why I'm getting strongly this something happened.

56:32 Adam Alright Tracy, be very honest with us for just one second because the gambling is over. We know your dad left. What about before he left? He was an alcoholic. Was he verbally abusive? What kind of guy was he?

56:45 Caller Well, yeah, he was pretty verbally abusive. That was about it.

56:48 Adam Any physical abuse?

56:50 Caller Just between him and my mom.

56:52 Drew Oh, just that. Okay.

56:53 Adam So he beat on mom a little bit?

56:54 Caller Yeah.

56:55 Adam Did he beat on you?

56:56 Caller No, not until I got older.

56:58 Adam See, this is what... Yeah. You know, Tracy is just like a ball of yarn. He just keeps going.

57:06 Drew Unraveling.

57:06 Adam He just keeps unraveling like a cat that gets hold of the bottom of a sweater that's hanging on a clothesline. Just keeps going. So now the guy was beat on your mom. He was verbally abusive. He ended up beating on you later.

57:21 Caller Oh, yes, a few times, I guess. Just on certain occasions.

57:25 Adam Right, like...

57:26 Drew Christmas and Hanukkah.

57:27 Adam Christmas and Hanukkah. Passover.

57:30 Caller When I press my stepmom out or something, you know. Right.

57:34 Adam Okay. And so never any sexual abuse.

57:38 Caller No.

57:38 Drew Why am I thinking that you kind of messed around, sort of explored sexually with kids your own age at maybe nine?

57:43 Adam Did you get something like that going?

57:46 Caller What, when I was younger, as a child?

57:47 Drew Like nine, ten.

57:48 Adam Little neighborhood action.

57:49 Caller Oh, yeah, probably. But nothing too intense. I believe that all kids do it. I caught my nine-year-old doing it.

57:56 Adam All right. Well, that is your nine-year-old, Dr. Tracy.

57:58 Caller Thank you very much.

57:59 Drew There's a difference between exploration, though, and sort of sexual, you know, acting out. I really... I've got a strong, strong one.

58:05 Adam All right. I know you're following a hunch, but don't you think an alcoholic, a physically abusive dad is enough to sort of send most chicks going in almost any direction sort of sexually? You know what I mean?

58:18 Drew No, I'd expect her to hook up with some abusive guys being the dominates.

58:22 Adam Well, she lost her virginity at 14 with a guy who was 18 at least.

58:26 Drew I'll tell you what does fit.

58:27 Adam And then got pregnant at 15 and a half.

58:29 Drew Is that the father of the three-year-old is a good guy, and she couldn't handle that. She had to break that relationship up.

58:34 Adam All right. Well, let's give Darren the big wad of cash for getting not only the alcoholic dad, which was a common answer, but age 11, hitting 11 with the break up.

58:45 Goldfinger Where's that cha-ching drop?

58:48 Adam There you go.

58:48 Goldfinger Got that?

58:49 Adam That's it.

58:50 Drew That'll take five minutes. He doesn't like you, dude.

58:52 Caller Don't spend it all at Jack in the Box.

58:54 Goldfinger Excellent.

58:55 Adam He's going to eat that before tonight.

58:56 Goldfinger I'm going right to the candy machine.

58:59 Adam Oh, Darren. Not that Darren. Darren?

59:02 Caller Yeah.

59:02 Adam 30-year-old Darren. What's up?

59:05 Caller I have a question for Drew. I have hypogamaglobulinemia.

59:13 Drew Yeah, go ahead.

59:15 Adam What is that, Drew?

59:17 Drew It's a deficiency of gamaglobulinemia, which is one of the main immunoglobulins in the body. So you're slightly immune deficient. Is it gamaglobulinemia, hypogamaglobulinemia only?

59:29 Caller Hypogamaglobulinemia.

59:30 Drew Okay, go ahead.

59:33 Caller Every time after sex with my wife, I go into a cough immediately.

59:40 Adam You go into a cough?

59:42 Caller I start coughing immediately.

59:43 Drew Aren't you getting gamaglobulin replacement?

59:45 Caller Yes, I am. Two times a month, 20 grams.

59:47 Drew So you're restored. You have normal gamaglobulin levels.

59:50 Caller Well, no, this all started out as, you know, they gave me like a, they diagnosed me at seven, whatever the number is, seven on my IgG level. And they've gotten me up to 42 and then 142. And my doctor is really not really that great, but there's not a lot of...

1:00:14 Adam Why would you start coughing after sex, oh, Drew?

1:00:17 Drew I, it must be some sort of neural reflex.

1:00:19 Caller Well, it's anytime after anything physical.

1:00:22 Drew Right, well, asthma.

1:00:23 Adam Is that what this is?

1:00:24 Caller I'm not, I don't have asthma.

1:00:26 Drew Well, you may have exertionally induced asthma.

1:00:28 Adam Does your wife let you gamma globular on her belly?

1:00:31 Caller Yeah.

1:00:33 Adam That's why I get the big box. Ejaculating.

1:00:38 Caller And also I had another question. My wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer. And I have, you know, I've never cheated on my wife or anything, but I have genital warts. I was wondering if that was connected in any way.

1:00:53 Drew Oh, yes. Yeah? Oh, yes.

1:00:55 Caller Is there any information on the Internet or any place I can...

1:00:58 Drew Look at the Human Papillomavirus. Look at the National Institute of Health. Look under Human Papillomavirus. Look at drdrew.com. Go to my office, to the NIH site. And then in there, you can scroll down. They have the wart category you can get into.

1:01:12 Adam What about the Goldfinger website? Is there anything on HPV?

1:01:15 Goldfinger Charlie, you want to take this? No, because you were leaning towards the mic, not because of anything. Because you were leaning towards the mic.

1:01:25 Adam Now it seems worse. Darren? Yeah? So what's the answer, Drew? Do you have an answer for him?

1:01:31 Drew You need to be tested for exercise-induced asthma. This is not about your hypogamic lobular anemia, per se.

1:01:37 Adam How's your wife doing?

1:01:41 Caller She's doing good.

1:01:42 Drew The cancer has been cut out completely?

1:01:46 Caller Yeah, she still has to have her, like, past smears done every year.

1:01:48 Drew Right, but that's fine.

1:01:51 Adam Everyone gets those.

1:01:52 Drew But the wart virus clearly is a causative agent, if not the...

1:01:55 Adam So he gave her warts and she didn't know she had warts.

1:01:57 Drew Right.

1:01:58 Adam And then it caused the cancer.

1:01:59 Drew Right.

1:02:00 Adam Right?

1:02:00 Drew Right.

1:02:00 Adam Right. All right.

1:02:02 Goldfinger He cheated on her.

1:02:03 Adam One more call and then we'll hear some Goldfinger.

1:02:05 Caller Hello?

1:02:06 Adam Jennifer?

1:02:06 Caller Hi.

1:02:07 Adam You're 18.

1:02:07 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to say hi to Goldfinger. I love you guys so much. I saw you at Boston's in Arizona not too long ago.

1:02:15 Goldfinger Oh, yeah, the outside.

1:02:16 Caller Oh, it's horrible.

1:02:17 Caller You guys are great.

1:02:19 Caller But can I tell your story real quick?

1:02:20 Caller Please.

1:02:22 Goldfinger Go for it. Go for it.

1:02:23 Caller Real quick.

1:02:23 Caller Well, my friend, he goes to U of A, and he was going to take me to the show, and his key got stuck in his van, and my friends with the hippos, and they put me on the guest list. I was two hours late to the show, and it was so packed, and some girl tried to steal my bag, but it made my day when I was in the back by the hippos.

1:02:43 Caller One time at band camp, I had a...

1:02:46 Caller No, no, when your new bassist, Kelly... Yes?

1:02:50 Caller Kelly.

1:02:51 Caller Yeah, he came up and... Molested you.

1:02:54 Caller Took you on a date...

1:02:55 Caller .played the bass right next to me. It made my night. It was nice.

1:02:59 Caller Dude, that story is so...

1:03:00 Caller That's what I'm here for.

1:03:01 Caller He's a pleaser. Come on, she's talking about me. It's not that bad.

1:03:04 Caller Thank you for your story.

1:03:06 Caller I thank you.

1:03:07 Adam And the question is, when are you going to be in Arizona again?

1:03:12 Caller Spring.

1:03:13 Caller Come on, everybody put a dollar on it.

1:03:14 Drew April.

1:03:16 Adam So the album's out in what, March or April?

1:03:19 Caller Our album is out April.

1:03:20 Drew April 4th.

1:03:21 Adam All right. So then you'll have to hit the road after it comes out. March 29th, I now hear from the boat.

1:03:27 Caller Okay. All right.

1:03:29 Goldfinger It's out April 1st.

1:03:31 Adam All right, Jennifer.

1:03:32 Drew Thank you. Thank you, Jennifer.

1:03:34 Adam Give us a dollar back for that one.

1:03:35 Drew I want to go back to the HPV discussion real quick. There's just some studies that came out that showed that persistent HPV. I've been talking for a while about how warts can fade out a little bit, and maybe they go away. But there seems to be a certain brand that stays, and the ones that persist are the ones that tend to cause the cancers.

1:03:51 Caller All right.

1:03:52 Adam Thanks for the information there, Drew. We're going to now hear something from Goldfinger off of Darren's Coconut Ass live from Omaha. Is she really going out with him? Yeah, I was waiting for that. That is Goldfinger. Is she really going out with him? A great old Joe Jackson classic. It's sad when you're calling Joe Jackson, it's like an old classic.

1:07:21 Goldfinger A waterfall?

1:07:22 Adam No, it's a blouse.

1:07:23 Goldfinger I know, it sounds like a waterfall.

1:07:24 Adam Darren's Coconut Ass, Live from Omaha. Just another choice selection off of that. Alright, so we're going to go back to the phones and the non-cover Goldfinger alum will be out March 29th. That's what I wanted to say. Monica?

1:07:41 Caller Yeah, hold on just a second.

1:07:43 Adam You're 19. Okay, well, should we talk amongst ourselves?

1:07:46 Caller Uh-huh.

1:07:47 Adam Okay. Because, uh, hey, uh, Darren and Kings are looking pretty strong this year. What'd you say?

1:07:52 Goldfinger I've robotized back tomorrow, you know?

1:07:53 Adam Yeah. Yeah. What are they? They gotta be, uh, they could be about 700 or so.

1:07:59 Goldfinger Yeah, they're 14 and 7.

1:08:00 Adam Yeah, really playing.

1:08:01 Goldfinger They're playing well. Should we talk amongst ourselves more?

1:08:04 Caller Hey, how come they always boo that guy when he comes out?

1:08:10 Adam Boo. Yeah, Lou Pennella got the same thing when he played, uh, when he played for the Yankees. Yeah, it's tough.

1:08:17 Caller I don't get it.

1:08:17 Drew Monica?

1:08:18 Goldfinger We'll never beat Dick Buckner's style.

1:08:20 Caller Okay, thanks for taking my call and sorry about that.

1:08:22 Adam That's all right.

1:08:23 Caller I've got a really stupid problem, or unusual, but I'm really counting on your help because, God, it's been bothering me for, like, the longest time for many, many years. And I just, tonight, like tomorrow, I have a boyfriend right now. And actually, I said I'm 19, but I'm 20. I have a boyfriend and I just kind of started dating him. It hasn't been that long. But, I mean, my problem is it's really physical, but it gets deeper and stuff than that. I have, like, a skin problem on my legs, really. It's the biggest problem. It occurs on my legs. It's those little bumps, like, with, like, almost, like, ingrown hairs and stuff. And I have really dry skin. And then also, I'm pretty, I'm, like, pretty thin. And I'm 5'3, but I have really long, narrow feet and they're, they're size nine and a half. And it, it's really like in.

1:09:13 Adam Nine and a half chick?

1:09:16 Caller Huh?

1:09:16 Adam That's a girl's nine and a half?

1:09:18 Caller Right.

1:09:19 Adam Yeah. So that's one.

1:09:20 Caller That's a big.

1:09:20 Adam I don't know.

1:09:21 Caller Seven and a half and guys.

1:09:23 Caller And they're just.

1:09:24 Adam Six.

1:09:25 Caller It's like a really big problem and like.

1:09:26 Drew Why is it a big problem? They're not that big.

1:09:29 Adam Listen, why do you care so much? No one else cares. That's the question.

1:09:33 Goldfinger One time in, in band class.

1:09:35 Caller And this is the skin problem.

1:09:36 Caller You know, guys like really smooth skin on girls and on their face.

1:09:40 Caller Do you have eczema? Is that what it is?

1:09:43 Caller Huh?

1:09:43 Caller Do you have eczema? Is that the skin condition?

1:09:46 Caller No, it's not that. It's. Dr. Charlie.

1:09:49 Drew It's what?

1:09:50 Caller It's these little like they're like almost like ingrown hairs.

1:09:53 Drew No, it's hyperkeratosis pilaris, which you. You're cold. Each of your hair follicles sort of sticks up like they're clogged with. You can get rid of that.

1:10:03 Caller How?

1:10:04 Drew Put pants on. Go see a dermatologist.

1:10:06 Caller I have my doctor that Kaiser and they're just like.

1:10:08 Drew It occurs where your skin hits the clothing, like the size of your arms, the size of your pants and stuff.

1:10:13 Caller Carol, you got some moisture on your eyes.

1:10:14 Caller Can't you just loofa that?

1:10:15 Caller No, I've tried that.

1:10:16 Drew It actually takes some steroid creams and things to actually get rid of. And there's some special soaps and all. But you need to see a dermatologist, Monica, because they can get rid of that for you. So here's the thing. You can get rid of that and your feet aren't that big. And you've worried about this for five years.

1:10:27 Goldfinger Damn, girl, you got some big ass feet.

1:10:30 Adam Why are you such a mess? That's the question, Monica. You're fine.

1:10:33 Caller I know I am. I know I am. And that's why the problem is it totally like this all affects like the person.

1:10:38 Adam No, emotionally, why are you such a mess? Yeah, what's going on? Were you, you have a eating disorder?

1:10:45 Caller No.

1:10:46 Adam No?

1:10:47 Caller No, I love food. No.

1:10:49 Adam Did anyone do anything weird to you?

1:10:51 Caller Yeah, but it's, I don't think that's been a problem because...

1:10:54 Adam Oh, yes, it is.

1:10:55 Caller Self-image problem? Absolutely.

1:10:57 Adam What happened to you?

1:10:58 Caller Oh, um, it's...

1:11:00 Goldfinger Another wager.

1:11:01 Caller It's, I mean, I know what you guys want to hear. It's like the stuff that you ask everyone and stuff and the answers they usually give. I was molested just a teeny bit for my brother. My brother committed suicide in my parents' divorce when I was four. There you go.

1:11:14 Goldfinger We never would have got that.

1:11:15 Adam I don't think that's going to be the cause or the fact. Just a sprinkling of molestation?

1:11:22 Caller Yeah.

1:11:23 Adam Just a dusting, just a light dusting of molestation.

1:11:25 Caller My brother was a year older than me and it was when I was about in middle school, maybe seventh or eighth grade.

1:11:30 Drew He killed himself when he was fourteen?

1:11:33 Caller Yeah, he was a year older. No, he killed himself when he was seventeen and I don't know why.

1:11:37 Adam Now, are you freaked out because you're angry at him and then he killed himself and now you feel guilty?

1:11:43 Caller No, no. I really have just been like...

1:11:45 Adam That was a pretty strong premise, Mom. I would have went with it.

1:11:48 Caller Really? The reason I don't... I mean, I just know that there's some... I don't know. I didn't really... I was... there's a little bit like, you know, I was cool. I kind of forgave him a little bit, but there was like, you know, we're like similar ages and we were you know, teenagers, you know, and siblings and stuff. You just kind of like, you know, don't hang out with my... Oh, my brother's a nerd or whatever and I just kind of didn't care and...

1:12:09 Adam All right. Well, wait a minute. Let me just make sure we're on the same page here. He molested you a couple of times.

1:12:15 Caller Yeah.

1:12:16 Adam And you were how old?

1:12:19 Caller I wasn't like maybe seventh or eighth grade.

1:12:21 Adam Seventh or eighth grade and he was just about the same age?

1:12:23 Caller Right. A year older.

1:12:24 Adam A year older. And then he killed himself not too long ago.

1:12:29 Caller When he was seventeen, that was several years ago.

1:12:31 Adam That's pretty freaky though. I mean, if you're sixteen and your seventeen year old brother kills himself, that's got to freak you out pretty good.

1:12:37 Goldfinger What does this have to do with the size of her feet?

1:12:39 Caller Yeah, it was always before this. I thought I was kind of aware. I tried to ignore it and I was just like, you know what, I'm just going to be a nerd and I don't care. But now people are like, I'm like lately I've been getting guy attention and it's exciting. And I'm like, I get my hopes up and then I could try to have a relationship and try to like, I don't know.

1:12:57 Caller I guess I could like.

1:12:59 Drew Do you have other compulsive activities or obsessional thoughts? If you don't clean yourself a million times?

1:13:05 Caller No, no, nothing.

1:13:06 Drew Rituals in your day, that's what it's like.

1:13:08 Caller No, I'm pretty like normal, you know, young.

1:13:10 Drew Listen, write this down, HKP, and you give that to the dermatologist, hyperkeratosis pilaris.

1:13:16 Caller Okay, I remember a doctor said something maybe, but yeah.

1:13:19 Drew Well, go get that, you can be treated, right?

1:13:22 Adam Hey, wait a minute, you gotta shut up, shut up, quiet, you need some therapy.

1:13:27 Caller That's what I talked to my dad about and I've, because I haven't talked to him for a while.

1:13:31 Adam Good.

1:13:32 Caller But.

1:13:32 Adam What did he say?

1:13:34 Caller Yeah, I think he's, I just started talking to him, he's getting me out of my situation, like I'm living with some roommates, and I'm working and stuff, but we just found a place to live for me.

1:13:44 Adam Hey, Monica, therapy. Okay.

1:13:47 Caller That's all it is.

1:13:48 Adam That's it. Get your dad, your feet will shrink when you go to the shrink. All right?

1:13:53 Drew Some medicine.

1:13:54 Adam Same thing happened to my penis.

1:13:55 Drew It grew?

1:13:56 Adam No, I thought I was hung before I went to the therapist. Yeah. No, I mean, he just said, he just...

1:14:02 Drew Set you straight.

1:14:03 Adam He just looked at it. It was small. 90 bucks for that. You know what I'm saying? For a rip-off. Come on. All right. Oh, geez. Monica is a mess. Oh, boy. And God knows. Oh, God knows what was going on with that family. All right. Therapy, therapy, therapy. And then when you're done, a little more therapy. Speaking of therapy, Goldfinger is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. And when we come back, we'll speak to Joey, who's 15, dad is gay. Will this make him gay? He wants to know how it will affect him. We'll figure that out after this.

1:14:36 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:14:40 Caller Call Love Line 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:14:44 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:15:20 Adam All right. Just having a lovely cyst conversation.

1:15:22 Drew Look at that. Anameta surgery. Minor compared to what you need to get out of the wrist. Where? Taking out from here. Oh, wow.

1:15:28 Adam Yeah.

1:15:29 Caller Every time I hear corn, I always think about you, that one show, when they were late, and you come in corn, corn, the whole crowd. Remember that, dude?

1:15:35 Adam Oh, out on stage, yeah.

1:15:37 Caller 20 minutes and you had corn, corn.

1:15:39 Adam No, they weren't late. I was just, the crowd was yelling corn somewhere in Minneapolis. God. You know, corn's weird.

1:15:49 Caller My people call it maize.

1:15:50 Adam Corn's.

1:15:52 Goldfinger See, now, that was Kelly.

1:15:53 Caller That was good, dude.

1:15:54 Adam Yeah, I wasn't there.

1:15:55 Caller No, dude, we played that show before corn, and you definitely got the crowd incited to start that chant.

1:16:01 Adam I know, but the thing that was freaky, well, a couple of things are freaky. That was three years ago, right?

1:16:06 Caller Well, they kept, Candle Box was on after them, and people kept chanting corn through Candle Box.

1:16:12 Adam Right. But they started yelling corn before I started yelling corn. I just yelled corn because they yelled corn.

1:16:19 Caller Peas, carrots.

1:16:20 Adam Corn was, even three years ago, I had barely heard of corn. They had such a strong sort of cult underground kind of following, even maybe more than three years ago.

1:16:32 Caller Me and John knew them when they were LAPD back in the late 80s.

1:16:35 Caller Their drummer, we used to share a studio with them. Their drummer was like 14, you had like a neck gear.

1:16:40 Caller He had a total like one of those.

1:16:42 Caller He was like such a kid. It's great. I love those guys.

1:16:45 Adam They'll be in here next week, by the way.

1:16:47 Caller I always say, what up?

1:16:48 Adam Yeah, it's kind of nice to see them explode the way they have. All right. Well, where the hell were we? So anyway, I was out and doing a stage announcement and Korn wasn't coming on for about another hour and a half, but I was still yelling Korn. They must have been freaked out in the trailers because they were probably just like smoking pot and watching TV and hearing 30,000 people yell their band's name. They probably thought it was time to hit the stage and then Candle Box was probably pretty pissed off. And who else was at that? Iggy Pop and Everclear?

1:17:20 Caller No doubt.

1:17:21 Caller Iggy watched our whole show. It freaked me out.

1:17:23 Caller Oh really?

1:17:24 Goldfinger Great memory, Adam.

1:17:25 Adam Yeah. Who the hell else?

1:17:28 Caller Garbage.

1:17:29 Adam Garbage, yeah. That's a good show.

1:17:31 Caller Boss Tones? No, they weren't.

1:17:32 Adam No. English band.

1:17:35 Caller Oh yeah, I remember.

1:17:35 Adam Been around for a while.

1:17:36 Caller Lovin Rockets.

1:17:37 Adam Lovin Rockets. Real cool guys. Nice guys. All right. Drink wine with them on their bus. All right. Where the hell were we?

1:17:44 Caller What happened to Laura Keitlinger who used to be on your TV show?

1:17:47 Adam Laura is probably, well, doing stand up now.

1:17:52 Caller I saw her on, she did a thing on Comedy Central. She was looking like a hottie.

1:17:56 Adam Laura's funny and nice and it's too bad we got rid of her. But Loveline, the TV show, it's like Menudo. They tossed the chicks out on their 25th birthday.

1:18:08 Goldfinger So what you're saying she's going to come back as like a flamingo Latin dancer and have a big hit all over K-Rock?

1:18:13 Drew Yeah, that's what we're saying.

1:18:14 Adam Okay.

1:18:17 Caller You're done.

1:18:18 Adam You're 15.

1:18:18 Caller Yeah.

1:18:19 Adam We are going to hear the Wayne or at least some of the Wayne Gretzky song that Darren spoke of earlier in the evening about having sex with Wayne Gretzky. Go ahead, Joey.

1:18:28 Caller Hey, guys.

1:18:30 Adam Your dad is gay.

1:18:30 Caller Yeah.

1:18:31 Caller Actually, he knew you.

1:18:33 Caller He gave you a loan on your house or something.

1:18:35 Adam Your dad?

1:18:36 Caller Yeah.

1:18:37 Adam Really? When? Like three years ago when I bought it?

1:18:40 Caller Yeah.

1:18:41 Caller He told me that he gave you a loan on his house.

1:18:43 Caller I was like, that's cool.

1:18:44 Adam Yeah. Let me explain something. I want to say something real fast to all loan people, because I've had to deal with this a few times. I noticed that you have different relationships with different people, depending on what it is they have and what it is that you want. There's certain businesses when you go in where they do a lot of ass kissing. I like those businesses. When you go in, you walk in, you're at the mall, and you go to a footlocker or something. You just poke your head in. You start poking around, and guys are going, hey, what can we do? Oh, hey, sir, you look like a basketball player. What do you want to try one of these on? Guys doing nothing. But when you borrow money from people, they kick your ass. They're like, you'll say to them, you'll call them a week later. How's the loan going? It's going all right. Well, when you think, hey, we'll call you.

1:19:31 Caller All right?

1:19:32 Adam OK, sorry. Yeah, OK. No, and it's like, because you want 50 grand from them, and they act like they're giving it to you. That's what it is. It's like, they're your dad, and you've just come into the den and interrupted them and went, dad, can I have 50 grand? And I said to the guy right across the table, about halfway into his attitude, I said, hey, listen, here's the deal. I'm paying the money back. You're not giving me the money. Stop acting like you're giving me the money. I'm paying it back with a bunch of interest over a long period of time that's going to make you a lot of money. So let's sort of drop the attitude about you just giving me the money. That is the attitude that loan people have.

1:20:13 Drew That's Joey's dad.

1:20:14 Adam Joey, that is your dad, right? I'll see him in hell. So what's going on? Well, he's gay. Bastards.

1:20:21 Drew He's gay?

1:20:22 Caller Yeah. And he told me when I was like 10, and I was like, what's this?

1:20:26 Drew Does he still live with your mom? Yeah, I live with my mom.

1:20:28 Caller I see him every other weekend.

1:20:30 Adam Okay.

1:20:30 Caller I'm just wondering if it can affect me in any way in the future?

1:20:33 Drew No, unless it bothers you.

1:20:36 Caller Well, of course it bothers me.

1:20:38 Drew Why does it bother you?

1:20:39 Adam That's a little weird, right?

1:20:40 Caller Yeah, it's not normal.

1:20:43 Adam That's getting more and more normal.

1:20:44 Drew Yeah. You're lucky that he concealed his sexuality from himself until he got to the point that he could sort of deal with it. Had he not done that, there would be no joy.

1:20:57 Adam Okay. He's in point.

1:20:59 Caller So you should thank him.

1:21:01 Drew Here he is. He laid it on the line for you for a while. Made it uncomfortable for him for many years.

1:21:06 Adam Does he have a boyfriend?

1:21:08 Caller Yeah.

1:21:10 Adam Do you spend much time with them?

1:21:13 Caller Every other weekend.

1:21:14 Adam And when you... Joey? Yeah. Is he still there? Are you all right with that? Is he a nice guy, the boyfriend?

1:21:21 Caller Yeah, he's been with him for like ten years.

1:21:23 Adam Right. Three of you go out together and stuff?

1:21:25 Caller Sometimes, yeah.

1:21:26 Adam It's kind of tough, though, when you have to ride in the boot of the Miata. There's no back seat. You got to kind of sit sideways.

1:21:32 Drew Sidecar?

1:21:32 Caller Yeah.

1:21:34 Adam All right, Joey, you'll be fine.

1:21:35 Caller Okay.

1:21:36 Drew Don't worry.

1:21:37 Adam You'll be all right.

1:21:38 Caller Okay.

1:21:38 Adam You'll be laughing with your therapist about this in a couple years. No big deal.

1:21:42 Caller Okay.

1:21:43 Adam All right. All right. Tell your dad, thanks for the love.

1:21:46 Caller Okay.

1:21:46 Adam But just remember, just I want you to remind him, they don't give out money. They loan money. They loan it. Okay? Okay. Jesus Christ.

1:21:54 Goldfinger It's not even their money either.

1:21:56 Adam Will somebody back me up on this? They'll say like, yeah, we'll call you when it's ready. If you call them, they get pissed off. I thought I told you not to call. We'll get back to you. Relax. Then they went like 45 types of ID and promissory notes, and they just start screaming at you, and they just start holding hoops up, and they just jump, jump, and they never go, they'll never do this. They'll go, hey, listen, if it's not too much trouble, could you? They go, you need a promissory note from your bank, and they just start yelling at you, and it's all based on them giving you money.

1:22:29 Goldfinger They know if they're going to approve you after five minutes and they make you wait five days, that's going to make you sweat.

1:22:34 Caller Same thing with sex.

1:22:34 Goldfinger They do it purposefully.

1:22:35 Caller It's their power trip.

1:22:36 Goldfinger They know, they leave their view, they go, no, this guy sucks, and then they still make you wait five days.

1:22:41 Adam Oh, if they see those tattoos, Darren, you never get a penny.

1:22:44 Caller How much loan experience do you have? Aside from members of the band.

1:22:48 Caller I loaned him a buck.

1:22:50 Caller What about borrowing three grand from our manager? What did you buy with that money?

1:22:57 Caller A very long.

1:22:58 Adam We bought a gold-plated swizzle stick and hard candy.

1:23:02 Caller Somebody's pager is going off.

1:23:03 Adam All right, where the hell are we here, Drew? And Drew, stop eating. What the hell is that?

1:23:07 Goldfinger My brother is only a banker. I wouldn't know anything about that.

1:23:08 Adam Lauren.

1:23:09 Caller So your brother is the jerk off that Adam is talking about?

1:23:11 Goldfinger No, that's the gay dad.

1:23:13 Adam All right. Let's not view.

1:23:15 Caller Isn't that a band, gay dad?

1:23:16 Adam No eating till off the air. No eating till off the air, buddy.

1:23:19 Caller Go ahead.

1:23:22 Caller I want to say hi to the guys from Goldfinger.

1:23:24 Caller Hi.

1:23:24 Caller Hello.

1:23:25 Caller How are you guys?

1:23:27 Caller Kelly is amazing.

1:23:28 Goldfinger They're picking on me.

1:23:30 Caller Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah.

1:23:32 Caller OK. So my question.

1:23:35 Goldfinger Sorry about that, drummer.

1:23:37 Caller Take out the R and it's dumber.

1:23:39 Drew Your question.

1:23:40 Caller OK.

1:23:41 Caller I'm 14 and I'm on first control, right? Right. I had this experience about a month ago with this guy and we kind of hooked up like he was naked and I had underwear on. And now I'm getting like kind of like I'm I threw up last night, yesterday morning and today. And I've noticed an increase in my eating and peeing. And so I don't know like how much of a chance that is pregnancy.

1:24:09 Drew Were you on the pill when you were with this guy?

1:24:11 Caller Yeah.

1:24:12 Adam What?

1:24:12 Drew You were taking him?

1:24:12 Adam Where were your underpants?

1:24:14 Caller Were they on your head?

1:24:15 Caller They're on me.

1:24:17 Adam Did he go through the underpants or did he go around them?

1:24:20 Caller Well, no, he was like he was like a wreck, but he wasn't like it was just like a shield or whatever. It wasn't really like.

1:24:27 Adam What was he doing with his penis?

1:24:29 Caller Was there intercourse?

1:24:30 Caller Sneaky pee. No, there was not intercourse.

1:24:33 Drew Probably don't need to worry about it.

1:24:34 Adam How do you figure you're pregnant?

1:24:36 Caller Huh? Like, you know, like I've been extra tired and, you know.

1:24:41 Caller Did he drop the kids off?

1:24:43 Caller I just I just want to be safe. I don't want to.

1:24:45 Drew When did you start the pill?

1:24:46 Caller You know, when did you start the pill? I started in August.

1:24:50 Drew And you've been taking it properly?

1:24:51 Goldfinger Yeah.

1:24:51 Adam Easy with the popcorn.

1:24:52 Caller I take it right before I go to bed every night.

1:24:54 Drew Then you're not pregnant.

1:24:56 Adam I still want to know what he did with his penis.

1:24:59 Caller It was it was just a little dry humpage. I mean, it wasn't anything. Right.

1:25:03 Goldfinger Dry humpage. Yeah, that's the word.

1:25:06 Caller Isn't that a descendant song?

1:25:07 Adam With the with the underpants on.

1:25:10 Caller Yeah, I have my underpants on.

1:25:11 Adam All right. You're 14.

1:25:12 Caller I'm 14.

1:25:13 Adam Okay. Easy now.

1:25:14 Goldfinger When I was 14, I loved dry humping.

1:25:16 Adam Yeah.

1:25:16 Caller Oh, really? I still love it.

1:25:18 Goldfinger I still do.

1:25:19 Caller Oh, that's good.

1:25:20 Drew All right, Lauren.

1:25:20 Adam How old is he?

1:25:22 Caller He's 14 too.

1:25:24 Adam Son of a bitch.

1:25:25 Drew Slow down.

1:25:26 Adam Yeah. Lauren's my sister's name, so I'd like you to hold off on the oral sex, would you?

1:25:30 Caller We're not together anymore.

1:25:31 Drew All right. Still slow down.

1:25:33 Caller Okay.

1:25:33 Caller Well.

1:25:34 Drew All right. Slow down.

1:25:35 Caller I'll see if I can try.

1:25:36 Drew Lauren, slow down.

1:25:38 Caller I'll see if I can try.

1:25:39 Drew Please. I mean, for your sake, not ours.

1:25:42 Adam When you're really, you know, your motor's purring pretty good at 14 and you're a young woman and you pretty much have it figured out that you're cute and you're starting to develop, you can get just about any guy you want, they're all horny and your dad's gone, long gone. What's to stop you from just, I mean, not having 25 guys by the time you're 16?

1:26:02 Drew You're thinking like a male, though. For a male, that's exactly what happened.

1:26:05 Adam Yeah, but if a woman is compensating for something or making up for something or every guy's daddy, then they'll do that. And that's scary because they can run unchecked. I mean, they'll go unchecked. It's like a superhero. You know what I mean? Policemen's bullets cannot stop you. The countries don't have armies that can stop you. If you want, you can just destroy Tokyo if you like. And nothing can stop you. Women are this way if they want. Thankfully, well, I don't know. Wait a minute. I'm not sure if I'm thankful about this. But the point is, is they don't normally act on it.

1:26:42 Drew Right.

1:26:42 Adam But if they go nuts, they can just do whatever they want.

1:26:45 Drew That's right.

1:26:46 Adam I wish I knew some of them in high school.

1:26:48 Caller You do. They're all in the porno industry now.

1:26:50 Adam I know. But I actually went on a date with two chicks who later on got into the porn industry and I didn't get anything off of them.

1:26:57 Caller You dropped the ball.

1:26:58 Adam You imagine that?

1:26:59 Drew That wasn't Ivory and...

1:27:01 Adam No, it was Missy Melindez and Christy Canyon.

1:27:07 Drew You went out with Christy Canyon?

1:27:09 Adam Well, you know, I wasn't exactly... I didn't know you were that old. I tried. Yeah, I'm getting older and she is.

1:27:15 Goldfinger Basically, Adam worked at Taco Bell on Tohunga and...

1:27:19 Adam It was Magnolia and Colfax, smartass.

1:27:22 Goldfinger Yeah, Colfax, yeah.

1:27:24 Caller Did you really work at that Taco Bell?

1:27:26 Adam I applied for a job at that Taco Bell, but I didn't get it.

1:27:28 Goldfinger Are you serious?

1:27:29 Adam I swear to God, I applied for a job on the Magnolia and Colfax across from North Hollywood High Taco Bell and was rejected.

1:27:38 Goldfinger Is this qualified?

1:27:39 Caller There's a Yum Yum Donuts right across the street.

1:27:41 Adam Yeah, I didn't apply there, but I ate there a lot.

1:27:44 Goldfinger Christy came in one day and she ordered a burrito supreme.

1:27:47 Adam No, but I knew her from the valley and I asked her out on a date and she stood me up a couple of times.

1:27:53 Caller What is it with the valley like it harbors aging hair farmers and porn stars?

1:27:59 Adam Don't know, something in the water supply, I'm thinking.

1:28:02 Goldfinger Do you go to school there?

1:28:03 Adam I went to school with her sister. I went to the Sadie Hawkins dance with her sister.

1:28:07 Goldfinger Did Christy have big boobs when you dated her?

1:28:09 Adam That's why I asked her out. Yeah, I didn't date her. I just kept asking her out.

1:28:13 Goldfinger She kept saying no.

1:28:14 Adam Eventually she just going, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, sure. And then I thought we're going out. We never end up going out.

1:28:19 Caller Are you sure she said yeah or did you just make it up?

1:28:21 Adam I was kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, kind of get rid of you. Yeah, she knew what she was doing.

1:28:26 Goldfinger Well, so you can technically say she said yes to one of your date.

1:28:28 Adam Technically, I can. Yeah. And then the other porn star I did actually go out with for a couple of days, but I didn't get any sex. Whatever. She's still there. She may be a porn star, but she's still got her pride. We're going to take a little break. Goldfinger is here and we'll be back after this. We're going to eat some popcorn. Ready?

1:28:48 Caller Yes. Oh, yeah.

1:28:50 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:28:53 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. It's Loveline, Goldfinger is here tonight. Darren's Coconut Ass, live from Omaha, the name of the CD, the in-studio CD will be out on March 29th.

1:29:28 Caller Yeah, I have to say hi to my friends in Mass to Band I'm producing right now. They're here in town from Chicago.

1:29:33 Goldfinger Word up.

1:29:34 Adam And I think we're going to hear something off of Darren is doing a solo project.

1:29:40 Caller No, it's not.

1:29:42 Goldfinger Okay, let me explain. It's definitely, it's just a piece of S CD that I put together.

1:29:46 Caller Piece of S.

1:29:47 Adam Right.

1:29:48 Goldfinger Well, you can't say that word, I don't think.

1:29:49 Adam Right.

1:29:50 Goldfinger It's just a garbage thing. I just put together a lot of-

1:29:54 Adam But it has the Wayne Gretzky song on it, right?

1:29:58 Goldfinger It is a song about-

1:29:59 Caller That's the best song on the record, man. You can play it up to the first chorus and then stop. You'll get the joke at that point.

1:30:04 Adam All right.

1:30:04 Caller Gretzky is good.

1:30:05 Adam We'll hear a little bit of that. All right. The Wayne Gretzky song from-

1:30:10 Goldfinger Caught it up to the first chorus.

1:30:11 Adam D&D, Dangerous Darren, The Revenge of the Chicken. All right. Here we go. Let's hear it. That's awesome. That's a nice little sample. You know the part I like? I like when we get the calls, where the 15-year-olds call in, and they go, Darren, man, what was that Gretzky song about? Darren says, whatever it means to you, man, that's what it's about.

1:31:32 Goldfinger There's no hidden agenda in this song.

1:31:35 Adam That's just whatever it means.

1:31:36 Drew Darren has been strangely well-behaved tonight.

1:31:38 Adam I think he's just getting old.

1:31:39 Goldfinger I got married, man. I'm calming down.

1:31:41 Adam Prostates inflamed.

1:31:43 Caller Dude, he just called you old, dude.

1:31:45 Goldfinger He just called my mom a whore.

1:31:47 Adam A hooker.

1:31:48 Caller You can't say a whore, dude.

1:31:49 Goldfinger You can't say whore, man.

1:31:51 Adam Karen.

1:31:52 Caller Hi.

1:31:52 Adam You're 25.

1:31:54 Caller Hey, I'm dating a guy who's 10 years older than me. And I've never dated anyone older than me before. But it seems like he loses his erections pretty easily. He's really fragile.

1:32:10 Drew Well, he's 35, Adam. He's just like you. He's very fragile.

1:32:12 Caller Well, that's my question. When you're 35, is that normal?

1:32:16 Adam No. Hey, Karen.

1:32:17 Caller Yeah.

1:32:18 Adam You ever heard that song I wrote about blowing roguey vash on?

1:32:21 Caller No.

1:32:22 Adam No?

1:32:23 Caller Go something like this.

1:32:24 Caller Roguey vash on.

1:32:26 Caller The only man I've ever seen.

1:32:29 Adam Roguey vash on.

1:32:30 Caller Sounds familiar.

1:32:31 Adam Yeah.

1:32:32 Caller I think I just heard that.

1:32:33 Drew It's a big hidden ball.

1:32:34 Adam It's big in Winnipeg.

1:32:36 Drew Unless he's on medication, unless he has some medical problems, I'm sure this is something he's been dealing with for a long time.

1:32:41 Caller Yeah. Well, I kind of have a theory, and I wanted to run it by you.

1:32:46 Drew All right. Let's go.

1:32:47 Caller Because I've been thinking about this. He's got a really kind of a small frame, and I heard that sometimes people's testosterone levels when they're growing up kind of dictates their build. And he looks younger than me, even though he's 10 years older, and he's just small boned and everything. And I was just wondering if maybe that physical body type would be...

1:33:08 Drew I doubt it.

1:33:09 Caller You sure he's a guy?

1:33:10 Drew I doubt it.

1:33:12 Caller Does he exercise at all, or does he like...?

1:33:13 Caller Yeah, actually he's very fit.

1:33:17 Goldfinger How big, how much does he weigh?

1:33:20 Caller I haven't asked him, but I...

1:33:21 Goldfinger Ballpark.

1:33:22 Caller I would guess probably 135 or so.

1:33:25 Goldfinger Like, so he's David Spade.

1:33:26 Drew He's tiny.

1:33:27 Caller Or Thom Yorke.

1:33:28 Caller Well, the other thing is that I've been kind of researching. I'm trying to find literature and things like, what can a girl, girlfriend do for something like this? Especially since he won't talk about this no matter what.

1:33:38 Adam Well, how, he just loses his erection each time you guys get intimate?

1:33:42 Caller About half the time. And then when it's there, it's not that there, you know?

1:33:48 Drew He needs a medical evaluation first off.

1:33:50 Adam Why don't you get him to get that? And he should want to.

1:33:53 Caller Yeah.

1:33:54 Goldfinger Bring some toys in.

1:33:56 Drew How many of you know them?

1:33:56 Caller It's weird, because if I try to do anything kind of kinky, it kind of freaks him out, and that definitely blows the whole thing.

1:34:02 Drew How long have you been with him?

1:34:04 Caller A year and a half.

1:34:06 Adam All right. Get him checked out.

1:34:08 Caller Does he work for a loan company?

1:34:11 Drew There could be something medical going on in terms of his development. He's 135 pounds. He's tiny.

1:34:15 Adam Yeah, but little guys, they just hump faster.

1:34:17 Caller How tall is he?

1:34:18 Adam 135.

1:34:19 Drew That's small.

1:34:19 Adam Now, let me tell you about my buddy, the Wheeze. He's so Wheeze. He probably goes about a buck forty or so.

1:34:24 Drew Wheeze?

1:34:25 Adam Yeah, the Wheeze. He did in his prime, but he'd hump at like 4,000 RPM. It's great. I just saw his ass. It just looked like a blur. The Hummingbird.

1:34:34 Caller From what angle did you see his humping ass?

1:34:36 Adam Most angles. I lived with the Wheeze in a one bedroom for like four years.

1:34:41 Caller You know Polly Shore?

1:34:43 Adam No. That's a code name, the Wheeze. This was the sex Wheeze. Was that Polly Shore's thing, too? Yeah. I called the Wheeze the Wheeze, though. I named him the Sex Wheeze in like 81. When was Polly Shore the Sex Wheeze?

1:34:58 Caller He was like 59, dude.

1:35:00 Adam Oh, really?

1:35:00 Caller Polly Shore was way older.

1:35:02 Goldfinger Shore was like 94.

1:35:02 Adam Yeah, yeah.

1:35:03 Caller I remember him and Dinah, the Wheeze.

1:35:05 Adam Wolfman Jack named him that.

1:35:06 Goldfinger You saw him bone down?

1:35:07 Drew Raymond, what's going on?

1:35:08 Adam Yeah.

1:35:08 Drew Raymond.

1:35:10 Adam The only perk of living with three guys in a one bedroom.

1:35:13 Drew What's going on?

1:35:13 Adam Raymond, what's up?

1:35:15 Caller Well, I'm 20 and I've been having sex with my teacher since I was 14. I lost my virginity to her and I want to break off the relationship because it's screwing up all my other relationships.

1:35:25 Adam All right. Well, you got to graduate.

1:35:27 Caller Yeah. How's your grades? Good?

1:35:29 Caller What does she teach?

1:35:31 Caller German.

1:35:32 Caller Wow.

1:35:33 Adam And is... Helga.

1:35:35 Caller Does she slick in your pimmel?

1:35:40 Adam Sometimes. Did you have... You had her in like the ninth grade? Yes.

1:35:46 Drew That's a disaster, Raymond.

1:35:47 Adam And you started having sex with her in the ninth grade?

1:35:49 Caller I lost my virginity to her in the ninth grade.

1:35:51 Adam That's kind of cool. And how... Did you not tell everyone?

1:35:55 Caller Well, now that I'm not in high school anymore, everybody knows.

1:35:58 Adam I know. But could you imagine being like 14...

1:36:00 Caller Does she still have a job?

1:36:02 Adam Nailing your teacher and not telling everybody who passed you in the hall?

1:36:07 Goldfinger Maybe she's just brutal.

1:36:09 Adam Is she ugly?

1:36:10 Caller No. She's one of the best-looking teachers in school.

1:36:13 Goldfinger And she's German?

1:36:14 Caller Well, that's saying something.

1:36:15 Drew How old is she?

1:36:15 Caller She's American.

1:36:16 Drew How old is she?

1:36:17 Caller She's American.

1:36:18 Drew How old is she now? So she was 32, nailing a 14-year-old.

1:36:24 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Hey, Raymond?

1:36:27 Drew It's a disaster. She needs to be exposed.

1:36:29 Adam Yeah. Those Germans, they try to screw everyone.

1:36:32 Drew She needs to be exposed.

1:36:33 Adam Tried to screw in the French. They screwed the Pollocks. They screwed everybody, those Germans. Tried to screw England, but it didn't work. Here's the point. What's the point, Drew?

1:36:45 Drew She's going to do this to somebody else. You got to alert people. Or she would have been me.

1:36:49 Caller All right.

1:36:49 Caller Yeah, really. I mean, when I was in high school, if a teacher was like, hey, what's up? And it wouldn't have been that traumatic. And actually, there was a guy in my high school that was screwing his teacher for a while, and they got popped, and nothing ever happened to him. She got fired.

1:37:04 Drew But so what?

1:37:06 Goldfinger Was that you, dude?

1:37:07 Caller No.

1:37:08 Adam Drew would freak out, but he doesn't have time. All right, after this.

1:37:17 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

1:37:42 Adam All right, wait, that's it. Oh, thank god the week is over. I want everyone to go out and get Darren's Coconut Ass live from Omaha. That is Goldfinger's latest offering. Also look for the new CD out the 29th of March, and then the Dangerous Darren CD, the one with wanting to bang Wayne Gretzky on it.

1:38:03 Goldfinger I don't want to bang on one.

1:38:04 Caller No, yeah, you do.

1:38:06 Adam You should find that at Wal-Mart and what else?

1:38:09 Caller Kmart, Tar-Jay.

1:38:11 Adam If they have a mart at the end of it.

1:38:13 Caller Wherever wholesome Christian things are sold.

1:38:15 Adam Wherever there's soil.

1:38:17 Goldfinger And our home video at goldfingermusic.com.

1:38:20 Adam goldfingermusic.com.

1:38:23 Goldfinger Get the video, the video's rad.

1:38:24 Adam And. There you go. With that, we'll end the show. Goldfinger, thank you very much. Nice to see you guys again. Thank you. Always a delight, and when the new CD comes out at the end of March.

1:38:35 Caller Hopefully, we'll be back again.

1:38:36 Goldfinger Keeping it real.

1:38:36 Adam Yeah, absolutely well.

1:38:38 Caller We're all still here after the millennium.

1:38:39 Caller Hey, how come you guys have an armed guard now?

1:38:41 Adam Because.

1:38:42 Goldfinger Stalkers, dude.

1:38:43 Adam That's right.

1:38:44 Caller Really?

1:38:44 Caller Adam?

1:38:45 Caller You got a stalker?

1:38:46 Adam No, Drew does. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Stalkin Drew, saying mahalo.

1:38:59 Caller Ha ha, well now. This has been Loveline.

1:39:02 Caller The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else. Including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Thursday, December 2, 1999