Episode 1000754887850

0:02 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience. Love Line may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

0:13 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Love Line.

0:17 Drew We are proud to have Snoop Dogg and Goldie Loke and Trey D all in here tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:24 Guest Eastsidaz.

0:24 Drew Eastsidaz.

0:25 Guest What up, world?

0:26 Drew What up, y'all? That is Snoop has himself a record deal and Trey D and Goldie Loke are amongst the new guys that are on his new label. And the first effort, at least at having his own label, is Snoop Dogg presents the Eastsidaz. And that'll be out the 1st of February. And so I guess my question is to Snoop, how'd you get on to these guys? And how does that process work when you have your own label, you're gonna put out a CD? How do you go about finding the talent?

0:59 Guest Basically these were guys that were with me behind the scenes on my project. So I decided to get him a shot as far as putting him in the spotlight and letting him shine with me as far as a group effort. So we put the group together, we went in, we made the idea of the Eastsidaz. I went out and got a deal with TVT Records. We made it crack like that.

1:17 Drew Now when you're on the record, when you make a deal like that, is part of the deal that you're on it or do they work that kind of stuff in in advance or is that all up to you?

1:26 Guest Well, we went into this deal as a group. So all three of us are equal group members. Me, Trani, and Goldilock are the Eastsidaz. So I went in as a group situation with them to make everybody know and understand that I got faith in these guys and I feel like they're on the same status as me. So giving them the opportunity to shine is just me giving back like opportunity was given to me.

1:44 Drew And I don't know how to rap. I don't know if I've mentioned that before, but I can never figure out how the process works. Do you start, I know you got to get really stoned.

1:57 Guest Oh, definitely.

1:58 Drew That's how you begin the process. But then do you start rapping and then put the music under it? Or you just listen to a beat or a riff and start rapping with it? Do you write all this stuff down?

2:10 Guest You know what I'm saying? Certain songs have different vibes, you know. Some songs we can hear the music and we can get a vibe off of that. Some songs we have a thought in our heads and we build the music based around that. So I mean different songs have different vibes and it's just based on the way we're smoking basically.

2:28 And the Remy or the gin and juice we sipping.

2:31 Drew And now you got to like, see here's my problem. Maybe I don't get stoned enough but when I do get stoned I can't remember anything I said or did. And so if I came up with a good rap when I was stoned I wouldn't remember it the next day. Do you got to write it down?

2:47 Guest Do you got to record it? If you record it that's the best way to remember it. And the public will help you remember it because they will enjoy it. And that's what we usually do. We usually don't remember what we said yesterday until we hear like 30 or 40 times on the radio or on the video. You know what I'm saying? A lot of times we can get on stage and don't even know the words to the song because it was a spur of the moment song.

3:05 Drew Well when you're thinking about it, when it comes to you, when you're driving your car or wherever you are, don't you have to write it down?

3:13 Guest No, we don't have to write it down. We got good memories. Real good memories. The kind of medicine we got. It keeps your memory, you dig?

3:22 Yeah.

3:24 We got orange timers, purple people.

3:27 Drew Alright, Snoop also is doing a movie coming up. He's going to be shooting in Canada called Bones, which has Pam Carrere and Laurence Fishburne in it. What's that about, Bones?

3:43 Guest It's basically a horror movie. It's going to be off the hook. It's never before been seen, this type of movie, representing black horror movies without a comedy involved. It's just a real good movie. New Line Cinema putting up the money for it. It's going to be a beautiful thing. It should be out either October 2000 or either early 2001 release. It's going to be a hell of a movie.

4:08 Drew Doctor, what part are you playing in it, by the way?

4:10 Guest Who, me?

4:11 Drew Yeah.

4:11 Guest I am Jimmy Bones, so I'm the whole thing.

4:14 Drew You kill people?

4:15 Guest I'm the whole thing. If it's a horror movie and I'm the star, you know I'm the whole thing.

4:18 Playing some chicken wines.

4:20 Guest Hello.

4:20 Drew What do you kill people with?

4:22 Guest It depends. I don't know. I can kill them with anything. I probably got a dog that do to kill it for me.

4:27 Drew You hit them over the head with a bong or something?

4:29 Guest Probably. Or a bag of zigzags.

4:34 Drew Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg and Warren Gee, by the way, are all on this CD as well. I guess we'll just take some calls. You guys jump in. Jennifer?

4:43 Yeah.

4:43 Drew You're 15? What's up?

4:47 Caller I have a question for Snoop.

4:51 What do you think seriously about white rappers?

4:57 Guest Seriously, I don't pay attention to what they face look like. I pay attention to the musical value of it and the efforts that they put in as far as making good music. And the ones that I hear so far, the Limp Biscuits, the M&Ms, Kid Rocks, they do a great job at it. And I push the next white rapper to continue to do what they do. And it's not about your face or what color you are, because music is an expression of all people. So it's really not about what color you are. It's about how good you're making the music.

5:23 Caller So you are not even slightly racist whatsoever?

5:26 Guest No, I got a whole bunch of white friends. I grew up with a lot of white kids. I went to a white junior high school. I mean, I'm not racist at all. I mean, my mama taught me to be equal about every situation I'm involved in.

5:37 Caller That's really good.

5:38 What do you think about a female white rapper?

5:41 Guest I'm looking for one. Are you one? Let's break it in. Let me hear you buzz something.

5:48 Caller Off the top?

5:49 Guest Off the top.

5:50 Caller It's not by me.

5:51 Is that okay?

5:52 Guest Okay. Let me hear you.

5:53 Damn, baby. That sounds sexy. Here I go. Here I go. Here I go. What's my weakness?

6:00 Caller Man, okay, then, chilling, chilling.

6:25 Wow.

6:26 Drew Hey, that's pretty good.

6:27 You're white.

6:29 Drew And you're a woman. Yeah, that's solid.

6:32 You got some rhythm.

6:33 Drew All right. Where do you live? Baltimore. All right. That's too far.

6:39 Guest Go Ravens.

6:40 Yeah, you're flowing though. You're flowing. Keep on flowing.

6:43 Drew Hold on. I don't rap, but I just came up with a great name for myself if I did rap. What would it be? As a white rapper male, man-nays, you know, with a Z, like M-A-N and end it with a Z. Man-nays. You bill me as a white male rapper who can't actually rap. That's the twist and doesn't claim to. I got the bakhan like John Mockenro. That beach steps up, I'm smocking the hole. I do a little Russian rap every once in a while. Beaches ain't ass but hoes and tricks. Suck on these balls and leak on these. Come on. You gotta get me on the next one.

7:27 Guest Yeah, you did that.

7:28 You did that.

7:30 Guest Yeah, you gonna get on the next album.

7:32 That's the other meal.

7:34 Drew Dale, you're 15.

7:35 Caller Yeah.

7:36 Drew What's up?

7:37 Caller Well, there's this girl that I really have a crush on. I'm at the Y Circus. And I once, I was wondering if I, because I've never, and I'm home schooled. So my mom's like really protective and I have like no clue on how to ask a girl out. I've never been with a girl in my life.

7:55 Drew Yeah, that's the problem with home schooling. Yeah.

7:59 Guest You made me sad when I heard that.

8:01 Tell him how to handle that Goldie, Loke.

8:03 All right, check this out. Well, you can ask your mom for advice. Or you can go ahead and ask her for her phone number. What you do is you go to your ex and you ask him.

8:18 He ain't never had a girl.

8:19 He ain't never had a girl?

8:21 No.

8:21 Well, look, check this. Oh, this is a girl, man.

8:23 Guest This is a dude.

8:24 This is a dude.

8:24 Drew Listen, if I-

8:25 Guest He's 15 and he ain't never had a girl before.

8:27 Drew Now he's never going to get one. He thought it was a girl. Hey, Dell, listen, let me tell you, if I kept my kid at home for home school and I would bring him home a hooker, at least once a semester because that's part of life. Hey, Dell, what do you mean- He's gay. What did you say about the circus, Dell?

8:47 Caller Well, it's like the YMCA.

8:50 Drew Yeah.

8:50 Caller Well, they have like a circuit. It's like for teens and kids, they do like acts and stuff like, I don't know, just all sorts of different things. And then after like the end of the year, like before most kids would go back to school, then we do like a performance for all the parents and whoever wants to come.

9:09 Drew Why are you doing homeschooling, though? Why doesn't your mom let you go to school?

9:13 Caller It's not really my choice.

9:15 Drew Yeah, but why don't your parents let you go to school?

9:20 Caller I don't know. They're like into the hardcore Christian stuff, and I don't know.

9:26 Guest So if you try to get yourself, you ain't going to be able to get none, because they're going to be all in the room with you. It's going to be real difficult. So what I suggest that you do, if you like somebody, you know what I'm saying, if you like a girl, you should just try to get at her and ditch school, you know what I'm saying? Miss school one time, you know what I'm saying? Even though it's at home, try to miss school.

9:45 Drew That's a disaster. You don't realize that three quarters of schools is socialization. I mean, it's to meet people, interact with people, play on sports teams. It's not just about what you learn. As a matter of fact, if you really thought about what you learned, especially in junior high and high school, you could probably fit it into a thimble. You know what I mean? I mean, how much did you actually learn? How much knowledge did you pick up in high school as opposed to?

10:08 Guest You already had the knowledge.

10:10 Drew As opposed to what you learned about interacting with people. Alfonso? Hey, Alfonso.

10:16 Yeah.

10:16 Drew You're 16.

10:17 Hey, what's up? I want to say first up to Snoop Dogg. You're my favorite rapper and you're awesome. And except Adam Corolla, you're incredibly funny. I have a question for you.

10:26 Drew Hey, I'm going by Mayonnaise from now on.

10:30 I was wondering if you're going to sing with the Red Hot Chili Peppers again.

10:33 Guest Yeah, we just might pull that off. You liked it then, huh?

10:35 Yeah, it was pretty good.

10:36 Guest Yeah, I liked it.

10:37 Drew At the Billboard Awards?

10:38 Yeah, I watched that. Sounded good.

10:40 Drew Yeah, I was standing right there. Snoop, remember? I saw you at the Billboard Awards.

10:44 Guest Yeah, exactly. It was a beautiful thing. It was special.

10:48 Drew He doesn't remember that.

10:50 Guest I remember a whole lot of things.

10:51 Drew You have any other questions there, Alfonso?

10:54 I think I'm going to sing with Will Smith ever.

10:59 Guest Negative.

11:00 Caller Negative?

11:02 All right, later.

11:02 Drew All right. What about what's up with Will Smith?

11:05 He's cool.

11:06 Guest That's my homeboy.

11:08 Drew Why won't you sing with him, then?

11:10 Guest He's doing his. I'm doing mine. I wouldn't want to hurt his image or hurt what he's trying to do right now. Because I'm going to bring a bag of weed with me. I'm going to bring a bunch of homeboys with me.

11:20 Drew Oh, is he like too white or something?

11:23 Guest No, it's not that he's too white. I mean, he's doing his and I wouldn't want to disrespect his. You know what I'm saying? If I was to make it to that side of the game, I wouldn't want nobody bringing that element to my game as well.

11:32 All right.

11:35 Drew It's mayonnaise, by the way.

11:36 Guest That's right.

11:37 Drew Thank you. Thank you.

11:38 Mayonnaise.

11:39 Drew There you go.

11:40 Guest My main, main mayonnaise.

11:42 Drew I end it with a Z, but it's M-A-N.

11:44 Guest That's my main, main mayonnaise.

11:47 Drew Larry?

11:48 Yeah.

11:48 Drew You're 30. What's up?

11:51 Caller Yeah. When I get an erection, my penis curves to the left, and I was wondering if this was normal and what I can do to fix it.

11:58 Drew How far does it go? It doesn't go into your ass, does it? There's a full wraparound. You wouldn't have to leave the house if that happened.

12:08 Caller I'd say about 45 degrees.

12:10 Guest You know what you should do? You start jacking off to the right. Pull it to the right next time and you'll even it out.

12:16 Drew Have you shown it to your doctor?

12:18 Caller No, not yet.

12:19 Drew Here's the problem. You got to get an erection in front of your doctor in order for him to evaluate it, right? What do you mean, no? It doesn't curve unless it's erect, right?

12:27 Guest I think you should get some head in a jacuzzi.

12:29 I said about a black female, yeah.

12:34 Drew Let me give my theory about the black penis while I got the ball. This is good. You know, they're always talking about how black guys have a bigger penis than white guys, right? And I was thinking about it. I was thinking, well, it seems like it's true. But then I realized the only black penis I've seen is in porn movies. And of course, they all got big Johnsons because they wouldn't let the brothers in unless they had a big Johnson. You couldn't put a black guy in a porn movie with a pinky worth a penis. You know what I'm saying?

13:03 They got some guys.

13:04 Drew So they have huge shlongs, all the guys. And that's the only black penis that most white people ever really see. So I think white people assume black penis is bigger, but maybe it's not really bigger. But here's my other theory. Now, I know you guys are going to have to listen hard with this one. But you know how bodybuilders, they always sun themselves? Even the white guys are black when it comes to bodybuilding. There's no albino bodybuilders. They're real black. They're real dark because it shows off the definition. Their muscles look bigger.

13:35 Caller Yeah.

13:36 Drew So you show me a black penis and put it next to a lily white pink penis, the black penis is going to look bigger because it's darker. It's more definition.

13:46 Caller I didn't want to see that. And I don't want to see those two penises.

13:49 Guest You got to get it. OK, if you get a white mouth and a black mouth and then you put the black penis by the white penis, which one is going to be the lowest?

14:00 Drew Wow, that's heavy. That's like of a black penis falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it. Trey?

14:06 Caller Hey!

14:06 Drew Trey?

14:07 Caller Hello!

14:08 Drew Trey, you're 15.

14:10 Caller Hi.

14:11 Drew What's up?

14:13 Caller I have white dots on my schlong right on the, where the head curves into the shaft. Right. Right where the foreskin attaches to the head.

14:24 Drew Yeah. You got white dots there?

14:26 Caller Yeah. A little white dots like the size of the tip of a lead on a pencil.

14:31 Drew Right.

14:31 Caller There's like 30 of them and I want to know what it is.

14:35 Drew You want to?

14:36 Caller That sound like some-

14:38 Guest Gingivitis. Baby had Gingivitis when she gave you a hit.

14:41 Caller Yeah. That's that second disease on the chart. I forgot what they call it. Start with an S on the STD chart.

14:50 Drew That's pearly penile papules, right?

14:52 Caller No, not syphilis. Yeah, chancroid. I think you got chancroid, man.

14:58 Guest That's when you get hit by somebody that got sores in their mouth and they put the sores on the end of your thing at the end of the night because you really weren't paying attention.

15:05 Drew Yeah, but I bet he doesn't even gotten that. Trey?

15:08 Caller Yeah.

15:08 Drew Have you been with a woman?

15:10 Caller I got hit for my girlfriend like nine times.

15:13 Guest Yeah, she's got some.

15:14 Caller Yeah, you got chancroid, man. Go to see your nearest health department.

15:19 Caller I've had these for like a year.

15:22 Drew You had them before you had her?

15:23 Caller Yeah.

15:24 Caller Oh, you had them a year ago?

15:26 Caller Yeah.

15:27 Drew It's like a Cheech and Chung movie in here, by the way.

15:31 Guest What do you jack off with? Grease, lotion, or water?

15:35 Caller Sulfurate or something.

15:36 Caller No, no, I just take it just straight to the hand.

15:39 Guest No sandpaper? No sandpaper?

15:40 Caller Nope.

15:41 Drew All right. Hey, Trey, go to a dermatologist and have him look at it.

15:45 Caller I have a theory.

15:46 Caller Put some Claricell on them. You said they're white. Put some Claricell on them.

15:50 See how your female to use mouthwash.

15:53 Caller I have a theory on why people think black penis is bigger.

15:56 Caller All right.

15:59 Caller You know how back some tribes in Africa, they have the women, they have their clitorises removed?

16:05 Caller Yeah.

16:06 Caller So the black guys, after a while through evolution, get bigger penises for more stimulation for the female.

16:14 Drew All right. That was a more retarded answer than mine.

16:17 Guest That's why you got dots all over your head. I want you to hold something before you leave.

16:21 Caller Yeah?

16:22 Caller Hold this **** out of here.

16:26 Drew The white man has put him through. That's basically it. It's payback. That's the way I look at it.

16:31 Caller But it could be a curse too to have a big ****.

16:35 Drew Well, that's one chance.

16:38 Caller All right.

16:39 Let's see.

16:41 Drew Erika, you're 20.

16:45 Caller Okay. Well, I want to know if you can get pregnant on your period.

16:49 Guest Why would you be doing it on your period?

16:52 Caller That's nasty.

16:53 Caller That's terrible. That's not too sanitary right there. Yuck. Don't do that. That's the way diseases are easily spread.

17:02 And we know you didn't use a condom.

17:04 Caller You're 20.

17:05 Drew And it's dangerous because that maxi pad can get pushed way up in there.

17:09 Guest I guess they say if a mother can walk through mud, he can get blood.

17:17 Drew I think we may have to bleep a few of those words out there, Snoop. How are you doing there Anderson?

17:24 Adam Anderson's busy tonight.

17:25 Drew You know what's funny? You know what's inside of this envelope I'm holding here, Snoop? It's a decency obscenity clause I have to sign at the end of the show.

17:37 Guest My bad. You should let me read it before we get on the air.

17:40 Drew That's all right. That's all right. Hey, Erica? Yeah? Yeah, don't do that, all right? Let me float another theory, black man versus white man for just one second here. Black guys don't like going down on women as much as white guys. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Now, that's smart. I think that's a good quality, by the way, and maybe it's because they have the larger penis, they don't have to spend as much time down there with the oral sex. But there are certain things that are inherent to certain cultures, and I've always, because whenever I talk to black guys on the football team, they'd always say, I won't eat nothing that gets up and walks away when I'm done. That was always the line they gave me, and it made me think about it. Am I right about that?

18:25 Guest I won't eat nothing that will bleed once a month, and don't die, and get up and walk away.

18:33 Drew All right. So I'm right on that one. There you go. Scott?

18:38 Yeah.

18:39 Drew What's up? You're 18.

18:40 Caller Yeah. First of all, I gotta say, you guys are awesome. I've listened to you for like two years. You guys are just the awesomest.

18:46 Drew Thanks.

18:48 Caller Well, I got a little problem with my girlfriend's dad.

18:50 Caller Yeah. What was that?

18:53 Caller Well, it seems that every time, like when I'm at my girlfriend's house, she'll either go take a shower or go in the other room or something, and he'll come up to me and start hitting on me.

19:03 Guest Like, trying to get with you, like, want to be your boyfriend or hitting on you like punching you?

19:08 Caller Like, hitting on me like, want to be my boyfriend.

19:10 Guest You mean her dad is gay?

19:11 Caller Yeah, I don't know. He's had two wives, and his step mom, or his step, my girlfriend's step mom now, she's pretty hot, and I don't know why he'd want to get with a man.

19:23 Caller He's probably checking to see if you're gay. Do you act feminine?

19:27 Caller No, not at all. He'll, like, say, you know, he'll tell me to stand up, and then he'll be like, touch me. I mean, I don't really want to.

19:35 Drew All right, well, listen, why are you hanging around there?

19:37 Caller Touch these.

19:39 Drew Well, listen, you want to bang?

19:40 Caller Touch these in the morning.

19:43 Drew You want to bang my daughter? You got to pay the fiddler. That's what the guy said.

19:47 Caller That's pretty much what he told me.

19:49 And if he's gay, you got to fiddler.

19:50 Caller Oh, my goodness.

19:52 I know you want these nuts.

19:54 Caller You know what you need to do? Now, you need to take your little tape recorder. You know, those little mini recorders you can pick up at Radio Shack for about 30, 40 bucks. Yeah, you need to take that and have that in your pocket next time he rub on your ass.

20:07 Caller Right.

20:07 Caller You know what I'm saying? And then you'll have evidence why he's whispering in your ear and blackmail the son of a bitch.

20:13 Guest Yep. Next time he squeezed those little cheeks of yours, you get him on tape.

20:19 Caller All right, Scott.

20:19 Drew Very sound.

20:20 Guest Where, cheeks?

20:21 Tell his daughter.

20:22 Adam He needs consequences.

20:24 Tell his daughter.

20:25 Drew All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Goldiloke trading Snoop Dogg.

20:31 Caller Eastside Doghouse Records.

20:34 Square cheat.

20:36 Drew The Eastsidaz are all here.

20:40 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

20:43 Drew Well, it's worth hearing.

20:57 Adam What's Drew's assessment of that?

20:58 Drew He's not. Oh, he loves a good fart. Mike?

21:01 Caller Hey, what's up?

21:02 Drew You're 15, what's up?

21:03 Caller Hey Adam, I like the man show, dude.

21:04 Drew Thanks. Oh, it's on right now, by the way. Go ahead there.

21:08 Caller I know, I had to turn the volume off though.

21:09 Drew All right, that's cool.

21:10 Caller Hey, Snoop, when's the CD coming out?

21:12 Guest February 1st, next Tuesday.

21:14 Caller That's cool.

21:15 Yeah, I saw some chinks selling it at school.

21:18 Caller He was selling copies or something.

21:20 We were gonna beat his ass.

21:21 Guest Man, I thank y'all for that. I appreciate that. Get all the bootleggers, man.

21:24 Yeah, he's gay, dude.

21:26 Guest All right.

21:26 I can't rip you guys off, man.

21:27 Guest That's right. I appreciate the support.

21:29 Caller Hey, dude, can you sign my CD?

21:30 Guest You know I can.

21:32 Caller You can?

21:32 Guest Yeah.

21:33 Caller Where do I send it to, man?

21:34 Guest Send it up into the radio station.

21:36 I need the address, man.

21:37 Drew I don't know. And where are you calling from, Mike?

21:39 San Francisco.

21:40 Drew San Francisco?

21:41 Caller Yeah.

21:42 Drew Yeah, these, can you get here in the next 21 minutes?

21:46 Caller No.

21:48 I don't know.

21:48 Caller I doubt it.

21:49 Drew All right. Hey, Snoop, how do you sign a CD? How can a guy get you to sign a CD seriously if you're not going to be here?

21:57 Guest I can sign a CD that you got right there and you can send it to him.

22:00 Drew Well, that's my CD.

22:01 Guest I can get him another one.

22:03 Drew Okay. Wait a minute. Let me work this out. All right. So will you sign this CD?

22:08 Caller Yeah.

22:09 Drew This is setting a very dangerous president here. Mike?

22:12 Caller Yeah.

22:13 Drew Listen, I'm going to have Snoop sign my CD and then he'll give me another CD. That's big. Right?

22:19 Caller Hi, dude.

22:20 Drew All right.

22:21 Caller Hey, Snoop.

22:21 Guest Yes, sir.

22:22 Caller I'll beat the guy's ass for you, dude.

22:23 Guest Keep supporting that dog, dog, dog, dog pound gangsta, gangsta.

22:27 Drew Hey, is it is bootlegging a big problem?

22:29 Guest Yeah, definitely. But I mean, we can't even, you know, really monitor it all. We appreciate our fans for supporting us and doing AD and, you know, taking them out for us.

22:36 Drew Well, how do they get hold of it? How does it work?

22:39 Guest I think it's people that the record label and, you know, the record distribution, people that be doing snake moves, you know, they get their hands on it. So they figure that it's hot product and we can get it out there before they actually can sell it. We can make a few dollars on the side. And when they get it out there, people got CD makers and, you know, they out there making their own thing. And it's before you know it, it's out there. But that's good promotions do it. If they bootlegging it, that mean we got hot product.

23:02 Drew That's real. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll come back. We'll talk more. The guys will hear more of the CD and I'm getting a nice contact. I just sit here.

23:13 Adam Yeah, I think I'm going to debate that theory on you can't Bruce.

23:17 Drew This is more more pot smoke than you've seen in the last 20 years, isn't it?

23:21 Guest I got somebody in the neighborhood that's going to call up here. He said he got five balls.

23:25 Caller He got five balls.

23:27 Guest What can he do about that? What can you do to help?

23:31 Drew Cinco de Saco?

23:32 Guest Yeah.

23:33 Drew All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.

23:38 Caller Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

23:40 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191 It's Love Line.

24:10 Drew I'm Mayonnaise.

24:14 Caller Easy.

24:16 It's funny every time.

24:18 Drew That's Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Goldilock, Trady and Snoop Dogg are all here. They're here. They're in his house over here. Snoop Dogg presents the Eastsidaz. It's the name of the CD. Larry the First, that's right, Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg, and Warren G who will be on this show coming up, I think next week or the week after. All amongst others are contributing on this CD.

24:49 Caller Good looking out.

24:50 Drew Angel?

24:51 Guest Yes.

24:52 Drew You're 17.

24:52 Guest Yes.

24:53 What's up?

24:54 I have a question for Snoop.

24:55 Guest What's happening, Angel?

24:56 Hi, how are you?

24:57 Guest I'm straight.

24:58 Dang, that's a crazy question. I wanted to know if you would take me to my prom.

25:03 Guest When is your prom?

25:04 Caller March 10th.

25:06 Guest Oh, wow. I'm going to be shooting a movie in Canada, baby.

25:10 Drew Yeah, if he wasn't doing the film in Canada, though, Angel, I'm sure he would do it, because that's the kind of guy he is.

25:17 Caller Okay.

25:18 Drew All right. So now that it hasn't worked out with Snoop, what are you going to do?

25:22 Caller I don't go by myself.

25:24 Drew Really? It was either Snoop or nothing?

25:26 Caller Yeah.

25:26 Guest That's beautiful. You make me feel special, baby. I'm going to have to send you some.

25:30 Drew Hey, Angel? Yeah. Maybe a guy will ask you.

25:34 Okay.

25:35 Drew Ever think of that?

25:36 Yeah.

25:37 Drew I mean, you got a few months, right?

25:39 Yeah. I really want to go with Snoop, though.

25:42 Drew Okay. But you figured there was only a 50-50 chance of that, right?

25:46 Yeah.

25:46 Drew I mean, it may not have worked out.

25:49 Yeah. I know.

25:50 Drew Right?

25:50 Yeah.

25:51 Drew Okay.

25:52 Adam You're doing pretty good if he sends you something.

25:53 Caller So what you do with the other 50 is up to you.

25:55 Drew All right, Angel. All right. Angel.

25:57 Caller My baby.

25:58 Drew You just, someone will ask you. Don't worry.

26:01 Caller Okay.

26:02 All right.

26:03 Drew Where the hell are we here? Skinny.

26:06 Yeah.

26:07 Drew Skinny, you're 20.

26:08 Caller How you doing?

26:09 Drew What's up there, Skinny?

26:10 Hey, Skinny. Skinny. What's up, baby?

26:12 Caller What's up? Trady, Snoop, Gold.

26:14 Caller Hey, what's up, Lo?

26:16 Caller That's the best combination. Hey, Snoop.

26:18 Guest Yes, sir.

26:18 Caller I wanted to ask, I'm a big fan, a big, big fan. You just want to understand, right? I just wanted to know what are your plans for you new for your new label?

26:28 Guest I mean, besides this album, we got a movie we coming out with in March called The East Side of the Storm, Me, Trady and Goldie, Locan and Straight for Home Video. So y'all be on the lookout for that. And we also got a West Coast female group called Doggies Angels. It's three girls that I got coming out and they'll be out in June. So, you know, they'll be coming with a movie and a record. So I'm just trying to do my thing and just keep it popping.

26:50 Caller I wish you the best, Snoop. I wish you the best. I'm a big fan. I'm going to keep on supporting you.

26:56 Guest You know, I appreciate it.

26:58 Caller I'm Mexican, by the way.

27:00 Guest I got a Mexican home. We're up here right now with me. You know, we're down with the Brown. Please believe it.

27:04 Caller So, you know, it's like as far as my rap, you know, I don't know. I have trouble convincing people.

27:11 Guest Exactly.

27:11 Caller I'm brown, but I don't know.

27:13 Guest Man, keep doing it, homie. You know what I'm saying? If it's meant for you, it'll come true for you. Don't even worry about them. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself.

27:19 Caller Yeah.

27:20 Drew All right, Skinny. You want to go to the prom with Snoop?

27:23 Caller Snoop, I wanted to know if I could drop a verse for him.

27:25 Guest Go ahead, drop it.

27:26 Caller All right. It's about buzz, so you know how it is. Go ahead.

27:28 Guest Keep it going.

27:29 Caller All right. I wrote it. Spark it up and watch me take a hit. It's time for me to drop some funky ass.

28:19 Caller Do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, baby boy. Wow, we're havin that poetry on the floor.

28:24 Drew They don't have, they have any Mexican rappers?

28:26 Guest Yes, a few of them. We got a bunch of homeboys out there that's doin it. Kid Frost, Son Doobie, Cypress Hills. You know, there's a lot of them out there that's doin they thug thing.

28:35 Drew Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot about Cypress Hill. Let me ask you guys a serious question about smoking weed. Whenever I smoke pot, I gotta eat. I gotta eat nonstop. I never stop eatin once I get stoned. You guys get baked, you don't eat, you're still skinny. How does that work? How come it doesn't affect you that way?

28:53 Guest Because we do the drugs and we don't let the drugs do us. Metabolism.

28:59 Drew Yeah, I let the drugs do me. They do me, then I go do the 7-Eleven. I can't stop eatin. How come you eat so much when you get stoned, Bruce? Is there something physical goin on there?

29:13 Adam It stimulates your satiety center. It blocks it, so you...

29:19 Drew Yeah, but how come it doesn't stimulate the Snoop satiety center?

29:22 Adam Depends how often you use the substance. Intolerance occurs.

29:25 Drew So if you just smoke out on rare occasions...

29:28 Caller Can you actually become intolerant to weed?

29:32 Adam Well, absolutely. The effect... It's one of those set-and-setting drugs.

29:35 Caller But what if you smoke different brands? I mean, not the same. Like, you got like eight different colors of weed and brands and potencies.

29:42 Adam Right.

29:42 Caller So I mean, if you interchange between all of them, you really wouldn't have a burnout or intolerance.

29:49 Adam Well, the THC contents, usually varies between the different buds, or whatever you want to call it. So it's anywhere from... The average weed in the early 60s was 0.1% THC, and they've gotten it up to 15%, which would be 150%. It's not as much in a joint. The average on the street is probably 2% to 4%.

30:05 Drew Imagine what kind of beautiful utopia your kids have to look forward to. I mean, because it's going to be up to 30%, right? Does it keep going?

30:13 Adam Well, then you're in Tashish anyway, and they're a real THC.

30:18 Drew Tori?

30:19 Caller Hi.

30:20 Drew You're 16. What's up?

30:21 Caller I've got a crush on my English teacher, and I was wondering if I should pursue it.

30:25 Drew Now, what grade are you in?

30:27 Caller I'm a junior.

30:28 Caller I'm in 11th grade.

30:29 Drew Yeah.

30:30 Adam So you're going to pursue it?

30:30 Guest That's a request.

30:32 Drew She's got...

30:32 Adam She's going to ask him to the program.

30:34 Drew She's hot for her English teacher. It's a guy?

30:36 Caller Yeah.

30:37 Drew Yeah. And he's old, right?

30:39 Caller Well, he's in his late 20s.

30:41 Drew Yeah. And how are you going to pursue it?

30:43 Caller I don't know. Maybe, well, I'll be 17 soon, and he's not that much older than me, and I guess maybe when I get older, you know.

30:52 Adam It's normal to feel that way, but a healthy adult is not going to respond by reciprocating and getting interested in a 16-year-old. And it's not because there's anything wrong with you. It's just there's such great differences between, especially when you're 16 and when you're an adult, and it's hopefully adult males out there know how to handle, especially a teacher, a teenager that's interested in them.

31:14 Drew Tori, here's your problem. You got a little catch-22. If he's a good guy, he's not going to do it. If he's a bad guy, he will do it, in which case you'll just get a bad guy.

31:24 Caller So what do you suggest I do?

31:26 Drew You just find someone your own age.

31:27 Guest Yeah, just grow up, baby. Don't worry about it. You know what I'm saying?

31:31 Caller Yeah, but it's not that easy.

31:32 Caller I don't know. I just haven't had a boyfriend in a while.

31:35 Guest You shouldn't be so fast. You're managed, girl. You're managed. You need to cool off. You're too fast.

31:42 Caller What city is she from?

31:43 Drew Tori, what city are you calling from? Baltimore. Baltimore.

31:46 Guest You're too fast, girl. You're managed. Slow it down a bit.

31:50 Caller Go to some youth centers or something like that. Go to some little social functions. I'm going to lead you some.

31:55 Drew James.

31:56 What's up, Adam?

31:57 Caller What's up, Snoop?

31:58 Guest What's up, dog?

31:58 Drew You're 18. What's going on?

32:00 Caller Nothing much.

32:01 Caller I'm from Portland, Oregon right now.

32:02 Drew Yeah.

32:03 Caller And the problem is my girlfriend lives in Vancouver, Washington. And she says my penis is way too big. And I don't know what's wrong. And she said she won't have sex with me because it's too big.

32:17 Drew How big is it? I wish some girl would say that to me once. Instead of, are you in?

32:22 Caller Yeah, I get it. And I think she said it's 14 inches.

32:25 Drew It's not 14 inches.

32:27 Caller I swear to that.

32:28 Drew We put all ours together on this table, we don't get 14 inches. Yeah, but I'm minus 4. You understand? I take your 10 down to 6.

32:40 Caller Because over here, mine is 9.

32:44 Caller Hey, Adam, the thing is, I heard that you got your V-Gram.

32:50 Drew Listen, wait a minute. Is it 14 inches? I want to know how sharp that ruler is. You must be pressing it halfway into your gut. You're performing Harry Carrey with that yardstick.

33:01 Caller He's sticking it in his navel.

33:03 Drew You sure you're not going to flip over on the metric side, James?

33:08 Caller No, I swear. It's 14 inches.

33:09 Drew 14 millimeters?

33:10 Caller I swear my fingers are big. I'm like way too big and I don't know what to do.

33:14 Drew Well, listen, James, you got to be slow. Lots of foreplay. I don't want to offend the brothers, but you got to go down on her for a little and moisten her up. All right?

33:23 All right. Hey, Adam.

33:24 Drew And then double down on the lube.

33:26 Hey, Adam.

33:26 Drew What? No, we're out of time. 14 inches, please. He's 18. Penis is still growing. It's going to be 25 inches in a centimeter. All right. You guys got to leave at 11, right? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. All right. Well, then we got to we got to say bye because we got to go to break.

33:47 Caller Can we bump something else off the Eastsidaz or something to give to the people, man? Thank y'all for calling in and everything and giving us support. You know what I'm saying? We support rock. We support hip hop. We support, you know, jazz. We support all kinds of music, as long as it's good, you know, and that's what Dogg House bring to the table in the new millennium. Good music, and we hope y'all appreciate it and accept it for what it is with no player hatin. You dig?

34:13 Drew Notice he didn't mention country in there. All right, Goldie, Trey, Snoop.

34:17 Caller They cry too damn much.

34:19 Drew Thanks a lot for coming in. Snoop Dogg presents the Eastsidaz. It's the name of the CD. We'll play something. I think we'll play something else off that for the night. It's true, guys. Thanks a lot for coming in.

34:29 Caller Get On Live.

34:30 Drew We will play that.

34:31 Guest Thank you. I appreciate it. One love.

34:32 Caller All right, good luck tonight.

35:07 Drew Word up to my homies, this is mayonnaise.

35:10 That's Dr. Bruce over there.

35:13 Drew We're going to take ourselves a little 10 second break. We'll be back with more Loveline in just 10 seconds.

35:31 W-E-B-N, Cincinnati.

35:33 Drew Oh, man. It is Loveline on Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there.

35:38 Adam Hold on a second.

35:41 Drew I got a nice contact eye going.

35:43 Adam I thought you pulled over by the CHP on the way home. I'm in jail.

35:46 Drew Bruce, I can't see on that. Bruce is three feet away. I can't see him through the smoke. I can't see you either.

35:51 Adam It's a better environment.

35:53 Drew It is like a reggae festival in here. There's a lot of weed in the air. Well, Goldie Train and Snoop have left the building. They're piled into their all-terrain vehicles and they are heading out. And man, there was a posse here tonight. I mean, how many... Bruce, don't exaggerate. How many people were out there in that hall?

36:18 Adam It looked like my high school class.

36:20 Drew I mean, it was 50 guys on that hall. How does that work?

36:23 Adam There's a lot of love here tonight.

36:27 Drew Well, anyway, had a good time with those guys. Snoop Dogg presents Tha Eastsidaz is the name of the CD again out February 1st. You can find Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg, and Warren G.

36:38 Adam I think they like that mayonnaise. I think you may be on the next... You may be one of the new dogs.

36:42 Drew Let me tell you what works well about mayonnaise. It's got man in it. And then anytime you can take a S out and replace it with a Z, you're in good shape in the rap world. Mayonnaise.

36:54 Adam And you got three silvers.

36:56 Drew And it's white. You know what I'm saying?

36:58 Adam I'm surprised it hasn't been used before.

37:00 Drew Yeah. And I'll say like, I won't say, I won't call it a bus in a run or something. I'll say, I'll say, check out my spread. I'll call it spreading, free spreading. Yeah.

37:12 Adam I need to quit while you're ahead.

37:13 Drew First CD will be called, Miracle Chronic Whip. All right, what you got to call there? Justin.

37:23 Caller Yeah.

37:23 Drew You're 15. What's up?

37:26 Caller I just like to say, what's up Adam?

37:27 Drew Mayonnaise.

37:28 Caller Mayonnaise, sorry.

37:29 Drew All right, what's up?

37:29 Caller And I'd like to tell Dr. Bruce, how was the cool skit the other night about the 24 pack of yarmulkes from Costco?

37:35 Drew Yeah. Ah, yes. That may have been me, but go ahead.

37:38 Adam That's all right, I'll take credit.

37:39 Drew Give him credit, yeah.

37:41 Caller I have a question for Dr. Bruce. I have red bumps underneath my, you know, Johnson and I don't know what it is.

37:51 Adam Okay. Are you sexually active?

37:52 Caller No, not.

37:53 Adam Okay. Anywhere that you have hair follicles or hair follicles being the structures the hairs grow out of, you can develop inflammation, swelling, folliculitis. When you have increased moisture there as you do anywhere where your clothing is present 24 hours a day, it tends to stimulate inflammation and growth. So you have folliculitis.

38:18 Drew Keep talking.

38:19 Adam Yeah. Well, that's probably what it is.

38:20 Caller All right.

38:22 Adam And it's nothing serious at keeping that area drier.

38:25 Drew And if he's not having sex, then it's not a sexually transmitted disease.

38:32 Adam But it's a very common presenting complaint for teenagers to want this one.

38:36 Drew All right. Vanessa. So he has to keep it dry. How do you keep it dry?

38:41 Adam Using any kind of cornstarch-based powder. They're common after bath, after shower powders and cotton.

38:49 Drew Cotton underwear.

38:50 Adam Right.

38:50 Drew Vanessa?

38:52 Yeah.

38:52 Drew You're 20. What's up?

38:53 Caller I'm 20. I'm married. There's some differences between my husband and I. We're different stuff like that. He's black. We have one child already. I'm pregnant with the second one. We've only been married for like six months. We've been together for like four years, but we've been married for almost six months.

39:09 Drew Yeah.

39:09 Caller And I just found out recently that he's been unfaithful a couple of times. And I don't know. I'm just kind of I don't know if it's worth staying together just for the kids or how did you find out? I'm young.

39:20 Drew How did you find out he was unfaithful?

39:22 Caller He told me.

39:24 Drew Why did he tell you?

39:25 Caller Well, he's he was in church. He got out and he's he'll be honest. He tried to come back and, you know, come clean. And we were going to start over, excuse me, start over. And then, you know, he's kind of going back and forth. And one of the girls, she was kind of, you know, she called up the house and want to have a threesome with one of her friends. And, you know, I can't compete with that, basically. He claims he didn't do it.

39:47 Yeah. All right.

39:48 Drew So he's been unfaithful a number of times.

39:50 Caller Yeah.

39:50 Drew How old is he?

39:52 Caller He is 30.

39:54 Drew He's 30. Yeah. Let me do some math here. You're 20.

39:58 Caller Yes. So the other since I was 16.

40:01 Drew So he was 26 when you're 16.

40:03 Caller Yeah. 20. Yeah.

40:04 Drew Yeah. So here's what I gather from that situation. He's got some problems and you come from some problems.

40:12 Caller Right?

40:14 Caller It wasn't anything in the family. I mean, I know how your guys are staring at me.

40:17 Drew Okay.

40:17 Caller But why are you running around with a 26 year old when you're, you know, when we first got together, I didn't know he was that old and he didn't know I was that young. I was kind of mature for my age.

40:26 Drew All right. Well, anyway, you have a kid, you got another one on the way. How far along are you?

40:30 Caller I got two months left.

40:32 Drew Oh, boy. Why are you getting pregnant?

40:35 Adam You know what?

40:35 Caller It shouldn't have happened.

40:37 Adam All right. But now that you know what you do, that's a pattern of it. Behaviors like this are not sporadic. They're not, they're patterns. And so this guy's established a pattern. He's going to have to really put some effort into changing that. And it sounds like he's telling you that it happens sometimes. It's sort of like it gets you, it buys you some time. But is he willing to go to counseling? Is he willing to make a commitment to something long term?

41:01 Drew Yes, all right, no more kids after this one, for Christ's sake. And see if you can work this out on behalf of the kids. And do see if you can get some counseling or something like that. And maybe you could go too, Bob.

41:13 Caller Yeah, I smoke a lot of weed.

41:16 Drew Wow.

41:17 Caller And I was wondering.

41:18 Drew Hold on, I'm flabbergasted.

41:20 Adam You are?

41:21 Caller Oh, all right.

41:23 Caller But I smoke a lot of weed.

41:25 Caller And I was wondering if that would make my penis shrink.

41:28 Adam It makes your brain shrink. Well, I'm not sure how far away those guys are listening. I'll be in big trouble.

41:35 Drew That's all right.

41:35 Adam They'll come back. What you hear about is the testicles shrinking because and your breasts, the breast tissue enlarging.

41:43 Drew What do you do? Do you produce estrogen when you smoke a lot of weed?

41:47 Adam Well, there's a similarity in the.

41:50 Drew No, you don't produce estrogen.

41:52 Adam It's not producing.

41:53 Drew What do you do?

41:54 Adam It stimulates, it decreases your testosterone. And all right. But in OK, this is in the case of this gentleman, I was interested in this.

42:06 Drew Hold on. Hold on a second. Bruce, are you high?

42:09 Adam No.

42:10 Drew Were you speaking complete goddamn sentences, please?

42:13 Adam OK.

42:14 Drew How many times you've done this show? Are you nervous? What's going on? It's like, well, I mean, it's like some kind of Carson character you're doing here. Just spit out the sentence. The guy's name is Bob. You don't have to point at the screen and go up in the case of and then point at the screen.

42:33 Adam Maybe I am high. I don't know. There's a lot of smoke in here.

42:36 Drew I think you're high because there's a difference here. And I don't want to bum you're high. I don't want to bring you down, but you're a competent man. Just power through. All right. OK. Go ahead. All right. Ready? Go.

42:49 Adam I was referencing Bob's. Yeah, you're just I know you're high.

42:55 Drew I'm telling you, you're high.

42:56 Adam Really? I don't feel too high. Let me.

42:58 Drew Well, wait a minute. OK. Can't you get high? These guys just smoked a pound of herb in this studio.

43:04 Adam Yeah, at least.

43:05 Drew And we're in here with them. Don't you think you got a buzz gone?

43:10 Adam Not really. When the studies have been done, there was a lot more as a closer you know, the size of a Volkswagen. Well, they tried to recreate the environment that you hear most typically somebody giving an excuse for their positive drug test. I was in a car and there were six people smoking pot and the levels were not...

43:31 Drew I did a radio show with Snoop. You ever get that one?

43:34 Adam Going to after I get tested tomorrow. Right.

43:37 Drew But it doesn't show up on the test. Is that what you wanted to say?

43:40 Adam Not at a significant level.

43:41 Drew Okay.

43:42 Adam And with Bob's voice, I was thinking about the little girl voice and then Bob has that sort of pot smokers delayed...

43:50 Drew Yeah. Don't worry about your penis, Bob. Worry about your brain.

43:53 Adam Right.

43:54 Drew You may not think anything's going on because you're high as a kite, but believe me, it stunts your emotional growth. So, you're not a ramp...

44:01 Adam Is Bob going to answer us or is he...

44:02 Drew You're not a ramp star. Quit smoking so much weed. No, I'm done with Bob. David?

44:08 Caller Hey.

44:08 Drew You're 15. What's up?

44:10 Caller Well, when I talked to the caller lady, you know, I said that my dad molested me, but that's not what's happening. I'm kind of suicidal and I don't know really what to do about it.

44:20 Drew Maybe you're suicidal because your dad molested you.

44:22 Caller Well, he did.

44:23 Caller Yeah.

44:24 Drew Oh, he did.

44:25 Yeah.

44:26 Drew Okay. Well, when did he do that?

44:28 Caller About a year ago.

44:30 Drew When you were 14, he molested you?

44:32 Yeah.

44:32 Drew And he never did anything before that?

44:34 Caller No, never.

44:35 Adam Does he have a drug problem?

44:37 Caller No.

44:38 Adam Some crisis in his life?

44:39 Drew What's that?

44:40 Caller My parents got divorced and I had to live with my dad.

44:42 Drew And he never approached you in any kind of peculiar or sexual way before this and then a year ago he did it?

44:51 Caller Not that I remember of.

44:52 Drew All right. And what did he do to you?

44:55 Caller He would just touch me and you know, I mean, I don't know, he would just try and do stuff to me that I didn't like.

45:02 Drew And what did you do when he did that?

45:04 Caller I backed away and I said no and he didn't take that for an answer and he kept doing it.

45:08 Drew And what was the outcome?

45:11 Caller I went and told my mom and my mom took me out of the house and I'm living with my mom now.

45:15 Drew Okay, that's good.

45:16 Adam Does she know about you being depressed and suicidal?

45:18 Caller Yeah, because last year my grandpa killed himself and so I kind of had to live with that too.

45:25 Adam Wow. And these things do run in families as far as you are at increased risk for that. Is this something where you've had a plan or you have a plan?

45:33 Caller Kind of, yeah.

45:35 Drew All right. Hey, David?

45:37 Caller Yeah.

45:38 Drew Oh, wait a minute. You do have a plan to kill yourself?

45:40 Caller Yeah.

45:40 Drew What is it?

45:41 Caller I was going to jump out because I live in Portland and I was going to jump off one of the bridges because there's a lot of bridges in Portland.

45:48 Drew Right.

45:48 Caller I was going to jump off one of them in the river.

45:50 Drew All right. Hey, that seems scary to me.

45:54 Caller Yeah.

45:54 Drew Yeah. I wouldn't do that. You know, hey, David?

45:58 Caller Yeah.

46:00 Drew Let me be honest with you. All right. I never actually thought about killing myself per se, but there were times in my life where I didn't actually care if I died. Yeah. A little depression, what have you, girlfriend dumped me, bad jobs, things like that. Yeah. Now, I'm glad I didn't do it or it didn't happen. Yeah. And I think you'll have that day, too.

46:24 Adam Being 14 is bad enough. Having your dad do something like that to you really spins the world around and makes things really seem horrible. And do you have a therapist that you see that you like on a weekly, regular basis?

46:36 Caller I went to one, and I, like, really didn't get along with her. And so I told my mom I never wanted to go back again.

46:42 Drew Maybe not her, but you got to go talk to somebody else.

46:44 Caller Yeah, because I've lost, like, seven other relatives in the last year.

46:48 Adam Yeah. You know, what we have to do tonight...

46:49 Drew You guys got to move out of that area.

46:52 Caller Yeah.

46:52 Drew There's too many bridges.

46:53 Adam Yeah. We got to have a plan tonight, you know, and you've got to either make a commitment that you're going to talk to somebody when you get off the phone, or, you know, I could talk to you a little more.

47:01 Caller I just appreciate what you guys do for people, though.

47:03 Drew Well, why don't you let us do it for you?

47:05 Adam Yeah.

47:06 Caller And Adam, you're one of my role models, too.

47:07 Drew Well, thank you.

47:09 Adam As your role model, you have to grow to his age to express your full pathology if you're going to be your role model.

47:15 Drew Here's what I'd like you to do as speaking as your role model, David. I'm not asking you not to kill yourself.

47:21 Caller Yeah.

47:21 Drew I just like to postpone it. You know, let's say give it a year.

47:26 Caller Yeah.

47:26 Drew See how you're feeling a year from now.

47:28 Caller All right.

47:29 Drew If you still want to kill yourself, and you're still living in the Portland area, you can jump off a bridge.

47:34 Caller All right.

47:35 Caller But you got to give it a year.

47:37 Caller Yeah.

47:38 Drew And in that year, you got to see what you can get accomplished. Because, you know, the thing about being 15 is things turn around pretty fast.

47:44 Caller Yeah.

47:45 Drew And you can do whatever you want.

47:46 Caller Yeah.

47:47 Drew Now listen, your dad, I'm sure, has some sort of psychiatric problem.

47:51 Caller Yeah.

47:51 Drew I mean, the guy may have a brain tumor. I don't know. Is he a drug addict?

47:56 Caller No.

47:56 Drew What's he do? Construction?

47:58 Caller Yeah.

48:00 Drew I smell, I know, because I work with these guys. I know construction. What type of construction does he do? Contractor. Oh, yeah. You know, at least, if it makes you feel better, David, at least 80% of contractors molest their kids. I just looked at them.

48:15 Adam You're not alone.

48:16 Drew You're not alone.

48:17 Adam So what's the plan for that?

48:18 Drew Up to 85 with drywallers. Hey, David.

48:21 Caller Yeah. All right.

48:22 Drew So I'll tell you what we're going to do. I'll put you on hold.

48:25 Caller All right.

48:26 Drew And then during the break, I'm going to pee, but I'll put Bruce on the phone with you. Your role model has to urinate every once in a while.

48:33 Yeah.

48:34 Drew Plus I'm going to go put my foot through the venting machine and just eat whatever's inside of there because I swear to Christ, I'm getting the munchies now. I have such a contact high going.

48:43 All right.

48:44 Drew All right. So David, listen, we need all our listeners. You know, don't do anything stupid. I'll give you to Bruce to talk to him. We'll work things out. All right?

48:51 Caller All right.

48:51 Drew All right. Now listen, this stuff happens to everybody or at least a lot of our callers. I know it's a pain in the ass, but you'll get past it.

48:58 Caller All right.

48:58 Thanks, Adam.

48:59 Drew All right. Hold on.

49:02 Charles? Yeah. Adam.

49:05 Drew Yeah. You're 24. What's up?

49:06 Caller Oh, I had this problem. A friend of mine, I told my friend I was going to call you. And he said not to do that because you might hang up on me. But it's the honest truth. All right. All right. I tried to. I was dating this girl for like two years. And I've tried to like cheat on her a few times. But it seems like I couldn't. Now, I'm not stupid. I kind of figured out that it might be that, you know, I might be in love with this girl and everything. But, you know.

49:37 Drew Well, what do you mean when you say you couldn't cheat on her?

49:41 Caller It's like I would get with another woman. We'd get naked, you know, about to do whatever. And just when it was like ready to happen.

49:49 Caller Right.

49:50 Drew Right.

49:50 Caller It was gone. Right. That happened several times, like three.

49:54 Adam That's your conscience.

49:55 Caller Excuse me?

49:56 Adam Your conscience, which is connected to your penis.

49:59 Caller You know, I basically was thinking now was broken up. And I want to know, is that going to spill into, you know, into my next relationship? Am I going to be thinking about, you know, my last girlfriend? Because I really did love her and everything.

50:14 Drew Why did you guys break up?

50:16 Caller Basically, to cut it really short. She's nuts.

50:19 Caller Oh, okay.

50:20 Caller You know, she... It was her, basically, it was her idea. I mean, I still love her and everything, but...

50:27 Drew Are you heartbroken?

50:29 Caller Er, I wouldn't say heartbroken. I'm upset. I know it's not my fault. That's what keeps me from being heartbroken.

50:34 Drew How long ago, how long ago did you two break up?

50:37 Caller December 4th.

50:38 Drew All right, so it's kind of fresh.

50:40 Caller Yeah, it's kind of fresh. And I still do communicate with her. But I really do want to go into another relationship. Hopefully that can, you know, keep my mind off her.

50:49 Adam If she's, if the relationship was very chaotic and she's a chaotic individual, you need to really just cut it off completely because it's going to keep bringing up, it's going to reopen those wounds. And when you're having sex with someone, those kind of emotional ties to people do have an effect on your performance in future relationships. And that's one reason.

51:09 Drew All right, but listen, he sounds like the kind of guy Charles does who can perform just fine when he's in a relationship. And the one night stands and the attempts at cheating and all that don't seem to work out too well for him. So you find someone else you like, you're interested in them, you form a relationship, your penis will cooperate and behave. Sure. Mike?

51:33 Yeah, Adam?

51:33 Drew You're 14, what's up?

51:34 Caller Yeah, I just gotta say I love The Man Show.

51:37 Drew Thank you.

51:37 Caller It's awesome, it's the best show ever. And well, I used to masturbate, I guess, with a massager. I'd put it like on the head of my penis.

51:48 Drew Hold on a second, let me write this down. You put it on your penis?

51:51 Caller Yeah.

51:51 Drew Interesting.

51:52 Caller Okay. I'm not like directly like where I like pit, but like around there, you know? And like you kind of like chase the skin away, I guess. And so it kind of looks like it's been like rubbed a lot and like I want to know what I should do about it.

52:09 Adam Just take a break, take a vacation from the massager.

52:13 Drew Whose massager is it?

52:15 Caller Well, it was like my mom's.

52:16 Drew Yeah.

52:17 Caller I hit her with something on your back.

52:20 Drew Right. How long did you do this? Didn't your mom find it missing?

52:25 Caller No, she never really used it.

52:27 Drew She never used it, but she didn't get suspicious when she came into your room, picked it up and burnt her hand because you'd had it on for the last hour and a half?

52:34 Caller No.

52:35 Adam Okay. When your skin gets red and chafed, you're at increased risk for infection, so you need to keep the area clean, dry, and take a vacation from the massage or use something that's a lubricant.

52:46 Drew You can't erode your penis, can you, though?

52:49 Adam Why not? Who knows? Maybe it's because of the sandpaper on the end of it. If he keeps doing it, some people do not stop at what you would think would be a reasonable point and pass the point of redness. You'll see blood, and I'm not sure where he's at with this, but the obvious answer is just stop doing it for a while.

53:07 Drew You got that contact high going again.

53:09 Caller No, I do not.

53:10 Drew Listen, here's the thing I found about when you have an erection, you have an amazing tolerance for pain. Meaning, if you took that massager and you put it on your elbow to such a point where it was starting to take the skin off, and turn red, you'd immediately pull it off, it would be uncomfortable. But when you have that erection and you're getting that sensation and you feel one coming on, that thing could have a rusty nail on the end of it. You wouldn't move it until you'd had your orgasm.

53:42 Adam But the next time you wouldn't place it there because it would be very painful.

53:45 Drew Yeah, and you know it's sad too. You know moms like probably like her mother got that for something. Hey Mike, who got your mom that massager?

53:55 Caller My dad.

53:56 Drew Oh, that's just what he had in mind, I'm sure.

53:59 Caller And Adam?

54:00 Drew Yeah.

54:01 Caller I'm like if I was like a girl going to give me oral sex, like I'm like wondering if she would like find it odd or anything.

54:08 Drew That you have that or that you have the massager?

54:11 Adam The callus on your penis.

54:13 Drew The callus on your penis?

54:14 Caller Yeah.

54:14 Drew Now, listen, Mike, by the time a woman is prepared to do that and you will have fully healed.

54:21 Caller Oh, yeah.

54:21 Drew Well, she said she was going to be 22.

54:23 Caller She said she was going to actually in the next couple of days and so.

54:26 Drew Oh, my God. How does that work? How do you strike those deals at 14? I'm 35. I got the five shows on the air. I can't cut that kind of deal with somebody.

54:35 Caller I can hit you up, Adam.

54:37 Drew Could you?

54:38 Caller Yeah, not with me, but you know.

54:39 Drew Oh, man, I wanted you. Here's what I want to do, Mike.

54:42 Adam Retire the massage.

54:43 Drew I want to do. I want to put that massage massager in you like a popsicle stick and then have you perform the oral sex.

54:50 Caller I'll send you on you.

54:52 Drew All right, brother.

54:53 Caller All right.

54:53 Drew All right, Mike.

54:54 Caller Later.

54:54 Caller Bye-bye.

54:55 Drew You realize my job is talking about potential oral sex with 14-year-old males?

55:02 Adam And you do a responsible job usually, but thank you sometimes. I don't know.

55:06 Drew Thank you very much. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. Dr. Bruce is here doing a good job, or at least he was until he got high filling in for. Oh, I don't remember the other guy.

55:19 Adam Oxygen is what it was.

55:20 Drew Something's going on. All right, let's go get some air. All right. All right. And I'm going to eat like a box of Nilla wafers and we'll be back after this.

55:29 Let's have some more fun.

55:31 Caller Okay, let's do it.

55:33 Caller Call Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191.

55:37 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

55:39 Caller Well, here's how it's sampled.

56:06 Drew All right, homies, word to your mothers. This is Mayonnaise and I'm in his house. His, his, his out, his house. That's Dr. Bruce over there, the emergency physician with the contact high. If you weren't listening, you missed Snoop Dogg and Trady and Goldie Luke.

56:28 Caller I'm just keeping it real.

56:29 Drew That's Dr. Drew keeping it real by the way. And where the hell are we going here? I think I got a contact high too.

56:37 Adam A little confusion.

56:37 Drew Did you get some cookies?

56:39 Adam But you told me not to eat them, so.

56:40 Drew I told you not to eat them. I mean, I can't eat them. All right. We'll get back on the phone here and speak to Maddie.

56:49 Caller Hi.

56:50 Drew Hi. What's up? You're 18 years old.

56:52 Caller I'm 18 years old and I was at a party with a bunch of coworkers at a coworker's house and I lost my virginity to him about last month. And I keep getting signals from him. I don't know what to do. We decide we're going to be friends, but it's been really hard and I'm just...

57:12 Adam Were you drunk? Was he drunk?

57:13 Caller We both were.

57:14 Adam Okay. So it's not something you would have done if you hadn't been in top school.

57:17 Caller I can't really say that because...

57:19 Drew You like him. That's why you can't say that.

57:20 Caller I kind of had a little bit of a crush on him.

57:22 Drew You still do. Yeah. Where do you work?

57:26 Caller I would rather not say.

57:27 Drew What kind of place?

57:28 Caller I work for a communications place.

57:31 Drew Uh-huh. So you guys... How old is he?

57:33 Caller 21.

57:34 Drew Is he your boss?

57:35 Caller No. No.

57:35 Caller We're coworkers.

57:36 Drew Okay. And you see him every day?

57:39 Caller Yes. We both work in customer service and we keep acting. We didn't tell anybody it works. We keep acting like everything's just fine.

57:45 Drew Right.

57:45 Caller And it's really hard to tell because he's a very quiet person.

57:49 Drew All right. But Maddie, here's the sad truth. If he was India, you'd know it.

57:55 Caller Yeah.

57:56 Drew You would. And I know you know that on a certain level. You know, I hate to be the grim reaper here, but that's the God's honest. I mean, you went over to his house, you had a few boozes, you had sex with the guy, and he's not come back for a second helping. And it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, although there could be something wrong with you. But if he was wrong with me, there's nothing wrong with you.

58:19 Caller I hope.

58:19 Drew All right. Well, the point is, you're fat. Drew, please. Is that true?

58:23 Caller No, I'm a little chubby, but I don't think I'm that fat.

58:27 Drew I hope not.

58:27 Adam This is why you hear about don't get in relationships with somebody at work. And it's one of the best pieces of advice to follow, because sometimes work can be difficult enough to pressing. And if you have to face something like that every day, it's very stressful.

58:41 Drew Yeah. It's good when you're a guy, though. Max?

58:47 Yes.

58:47 Drew You're 22.

58:49 Caller Right.

58:49 Drew All right. Your girlfriend won't let you go out with your friends?

58:53 Caller That's correct.

58:53 Drew Yeah. How old is she?

58:56 Caller She's 19.

58:57 Drew How long have you been with her?

59:00 Caller A year and something, a year and three months.

59:03 Drew Where are you from?

59:06 Caller Algeria.

59:07 Drew Algeria?

59:08 Caller Yeah.

59:08 Drew I knew it. How do you know that? I have no problem with the Algerians.

59:13 Caller Okay.

59:14 Drew Yeah. I can't figure out what they've done wrong. If you gave me some time, I could probably think of something. What's that?

59:20 Caller Moroccans? Yeah.

59:23 Drew They're all right, too.

59:24 Caller Oh, okay.

59:25 Adam You need to read Adam's book with descriptions of each culture. And what's wrong with it. So, is this based on something you did when you went out with him before, or she just doesn't trust you, or what's the story?

59:36 Caller She never trusted me, I think. Every time I go out, she spies on me, or her friends tell her I go out. But every time I go out with my friends, I don't do anything.

59:48 Drew Hey, have you ever done anything to get yourself in the trouble? Have you ever done anything to cause her not to trust you?

59:54 Adam I just asked him that.

59:55 Drew Yeah, well, he didn't really answer, though.

59:58 Caller Oh, no, I have never done that.

59:59 Drew I got a contact high, too. All right, hey, Max? Yes. Listen, you're the man, right?

1:00:05 Caller I'm the man.

1:00:06 Drew Yeah, and I know in Algeria, you would not stand for this.

1:00:11 Caller Oh, no.

1:00:12 Drew In Algeria, you can kill your wife and never see the courtroom. Is that right?

1:00:18 Caller I don't know about that, but I grew up in here.

1:00:20 Drew All right. Well, the point is, Max, you lay down the law. You look her in the eye. Here's my feeling. When people are out of control and they're jealous and they're acting out, they want to be put in line. I have this theory that when people are spinning out of control, it's an awful feeling to be out of control. Jealous boyfriends, jealous wives or girlfriends, in a way, they're asking to be controlled, like when a dog is running wild. The dog is happier when it's trained, when you tug on the leash, when it knows its limits. Girlfriends are the same way. You look her in the eye and you say, listen, I'm not cheating. I enjoy my friends. I'm going out with them. I'm going out with you as well. Now, do not follow me. And here's the other thing that's funny. Women assume because they're attracted to somebody, that other chicks are attracted to them too. Like, I'm sure, Bruce, I'm sure your wife thinks you're hot. Right?

1:01:15 Adam Absolutely.

1:01:17 Drew Meanwhile, all the other chicks sees a Ichabod Crane with a big tuft of red hair on top of his noggin, right?

1:01:24 Adam It doesn't fight them off a bit.

1:01:26 Drew You know, they just see one big, this one my wife, one big nose and Adam's apple coming down the street. Are you kidding me?

1:01:32 Adam What this guy's got to find out is if this is, there are personality traits, personality disorders, there are things about people that bother, some people are suspicious. If that affects activities of daily life, if it interferes with a relationship, then this is something that could undermine the relationship.

1:01:46 Drew I'm saying don't get on the defensive just because she gets on the offensive. It makes you seem guilty for doing nothing. Lynette, you're 16, what's up?

1:01:58 Caller I'm having problems with relationships. I'm 16 years old and I know on an intellectual level I'm attractive. And I know that I'm smart. And I recently found out that my uncle is a pedophile.

1:02:13 Drew Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

1:02:16 Adam And he babysat you.

1:02:17 Caller Actually, I know you guys hear this all the time, you know that I'm just fine except, you know, my father molested me for eight years.

1:02:23 Drew Right.

1:02:24 Caller But I just found this out. I didn't know about this. I had kind of a suspicion because I stayed over the night over at his house one night. And I think he might have tried to molest me because I wasn't awake.

1:02:36 Drew How old do you think you were?

1:02:37 Caller 12, I was 12.

1:02:39 Drew 12, just one night.

1:02:40 Caller Just one night when I was staying over. And I told my parents about that, you know, I thought it. He had molested me and they said, that's it, you're not going over to his house anymore. You'll like spend the night.

1:02:49 Drew Okay.

1:02:50 Caller My dad is currently in a divorce with him.

1:02:52 Drew Fine. Hey, but, Lynette, listen. You're 16. So you can sort of remember something you did when you were 12.

1:02:59 Caller Yeah.

1:03:00 Drew Now, if he had really had sex with you, you'd know, wouldn't you?

1:03:05 Caller Yeah, but I was kind of half asleep at the time and he was trying to touch me.

1:03:09 Drew I know, but I go to half asleep every night and then I get up in the morning. And if someone touches me in between the time I go to bed and the time I get up in the morning, which rarely happens, I'll remember it.

1:03:21 Caller I felt it.

1:03:22 Drew Okay, so he touched you quite down there, Stoner. He touched you and then what? What else happened?

1:03:29 Caller Well, he touched my leg and he was moving upward. And I moved around, you know, because I was half awake and I moved around, you know, because I didn't want that hand on me. And I guess he thought I was waking up and left.

1:03:43 Drew All right. So he tried something.

1:03:45 Caller Yeah.

1:03:46 Drew But no damage done.

1:03:47 Adam Did you immediately start sexually acting out after that? Did something else change when, I mean, within weeks or months or?

1:03:53 Caller I just I'm picking loser guys.

1:03:55 Adam Well, that's now.

1:03:56 Drew But OK. But hey, Lynette, yeah, do don't connect this to your your uncle's attempt at molestation, OK, because it happened when you're 12, not when you're four. It didn't really happen. And it only happened once. And even then it didn't really happen. And you went and told your parents and your parents are at least smart enough not to let you go over there again. You're not as effed up as you think you are. Or if you are, it's not because of this. All right. OK, thank you.

1:04:23 Adam But all right.

1:04:25 Drew Thank you.

1:04:25 Adam She needs to stop getting in relationships until she figures out why she's picking these type of people, because that's going to continue.

1:04:31 Drew Yeah. Her uncle dragging his hand down her leg when she was 12 one time does not mean she can't have a good relationship and she should stop focusing on it.

1:04:40 Adam There's tremendous focus on that to the point where people make too much of molestation, they say.

1:04:45 Drew Jennifer?

1:04:46 Caller Yes.

1:04:46 Drew You're 22.

1:04:47 Caller Yep.

1:04:50 Caller I went to the doctor Monday night because I was having severe vaginal itching. He gave me two prescriptions. Tonight I noticed that my boyfriend's penis has red spots on it and is kind of chapped on the bottom. The doctor didn't say anything about an STD and I'm wondering what's going on.

1:05:11 Drew Maybe you had a yeast thing and you gave him the yeast thing.

1:05:14 Caller Is that possible?

1:05:15 Drew I had it once. I swear to Christ, I had the yeast thing.

1:05:20 Adam Is he circumcised?

1:05:21 Caller Yes.

1:05:23 Adam First of all, the doctors, when they do pelvic for complaints like itching, they will generally take a sample. They'll check to see if you have gonorrhea, chlamydia, and you need to ask him if he did that. If he's treating you for the yeast infection, you could also have your boyfriend go in and have that looked at. There are so many questions about bumps, rashes, and there's such a variety of those that you really need to see what they look like.

1:05:52 Drew Why don't you stop taking all the bumps and rash questions if you can't answer them? You ever ask yourself that question? Why do you torture me, the listeners, and yourself by taking the plethora of bumps and rash questions that you never can answer correctly?

1:06:05 Adam We answered the yeast part correctly, though, so I think that's adequate for this part.

1:06:07 Drew Go back in there. Can't the boyfriend pass the yeast back and forth?

1:06:13 Adam You should both be treated at the same time.

1:06:15 Drew I swear a guy can get the yeast on the Johnson. I've had it.

1:06:19 Adam Right. Anywhere there's moisture, people get yeast infections. You get oral thrush. It depends on your immune system at that point.

1:06:27 Drew I like a little of that oral thrush every once in a while. That sounds like the world's greatest mouthwash. All right. Hey, Chris?

1:06:37 Caller Yes?

1:06:38 Drew Donor Chris, turn your radio down, goofball.

1:06:40 Caller All right.

1:06:40 Drew It's off. All right. What's up?

1:06:44 Caller Well, two weeks ago, my friend kicked me in the groin and now I can ejaculate.

1:06:52 Drew Maybe they squeezed all of it out of you.

1:06:56 Adam You still can have an erection?

1:06:58 Caller Yeah.

1:06:58 Adam Okay. What about your scrotum testicles? Was there any swelling or pain after you got kicked?

1:07:04 Caller No.

1:07:05 Drew Why'd they kick you in the nuts?

1:07:08 Caller Well, I was just making fun of him and he kind of got a little bit upset about it.

1:07:15 Drew Okay. All right.

1:07:16 Adam Anytime you get trauma to that area, the results can be varied. So that's a possibility.

1:07:21 Drew Maybe it's just PTSD.

1:07:24 Adam Performance anxiety.

1:07:26 Drew Hey Bruce, do me a favor. When I say maybe it's just, and then I take a breath, don't talk at the exact same goddamn time I talk.

1:07:35 Adam Okay.

1:07:36 Drew Like when I go, maybe it's just, and you see my mouth moving? Don't talk at the exact time my mouth is moving. Would you please?

1:07:45 Adam I'm finding the things that irritate you the most tonight. I think you have a post-blast.

1:07:48 Drew You're worse than Drew. You're worse than Drew. Do you understand that?

1:07:53 Adam You're talking most of the time. I try and find places where I can just slip in.

1:07:57 Drew All right. But the place that you slide in, and by the way, you slide in like a rusty anvil.

1:08:03 Adam Yeah.

1:08:05 Drew Being dragged by a drunken mule. You slide in. You never slid in anywhere in your life. You stumble in. You brody in.

1:08:16 Adam Okay, Chris.

1:08:16 Drew You cartwheel in. You don't slide in. Okay, go ahead.

1:08:20 Adam Okay, Chris. Hello?

1:08:23 Drew Listen, Stonehenge. It's not lit up over there. Of course, he's on hold.

1:08:28 Adam Light it up. I want to ask you a question.

1:08:29 Drew No, forget it. I've had enough of you.

1:08:30 Adam He needs to be examined. He needs to have a urinalysis. He needs to have his testicles examined. And it's doubtful that this is the reason that he can't ejaculate, so.

1:08:39 Drew Okay. Listen, you need to go drink some herbal tea and flush your system out because you got a serious high going. You don't get stoned, do you?

1:08:47 Adam I could do heart surgery right now. No, I don't.

1:08:49 Drew No, you don't. Yeah, so there you go. Yeah, you're all buzzed.

1:08:51 Adam My brain is unfamiliar with that.

1:08:53 Drew I could probably have you right now.

1:08:55 Adam It's not. Unless I were on a complete global anesthetic and dead to the world and probably unresuscitateable, I'll get them from behind.

1:09:05 Drew Listen, I'm serious.

1:09:06 Adam Necrophilia would be all you do with me.

1:09:08 Drew Bruce, if you play your cards right, I'll see that Drew doesn't come back. You understand? It'll be me and you, brother.

1:09:13 Adam So you've had Drew and now you know you haven't had Drew.

1:09:16 Drew Alright, quiet down. We'll be back.

1:09:24 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:09:51 Drew It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, aka Mayonnaise, and that's the doctor, Dr. Bud Hesherman over there.

1:10:00 Adam I feel like I'm waking up now. It's like I've been in a fog.

1:10:03 Drew Snoop Dogg was in here, and Snoop Dogg and his boys smoked just a ton of weed in the studio. And really, I got a serious contact kind of going, and I know my partner, Dr. Bruce, I was very anxious. Brandon? Yes. Bruce, you're gonna roll home to your wife about 2.30 in the morning. She'll be like, wake up, bitch. I got something for you. Daddy's home.

1:10:31 Adam She knocked me out.

1:10:34 Drew And then, you know, the first thing she'd say is, what are you, hi? And you go, yeah, that's right.

1:10:38 Adam Brandon? Yes.

1:10:39 Drew What's up, 17? Yep. You had anal sex with your girlfriend?

1:10:43 Caller Yeah, she is 15.

1:10:45 Drew That's very healthy. And now, now she complains of stomach pains.

1:10:49 Caller Really bad stomach pains. And I'm trying to figure out if that is normal.

1:10:54 Adam No, there's a whole list of things you can cause by doing that. Really?

1:10:58 Drew Well, sure.

1:11:00 Adam Yeah, you can cut tears in the mucosa of the rectum and the anus. And anytime, if you should puncture the colon, things that get out into the general area of the abdomen, that's normally sterile, there's nothing there.

1:11:16 Drew But how often are you going to puncture a colon? Well, I don't know.

1:11:18 Adam Listen, when you're evaluating something, you don't ask how often, but how likely is it based on what you're presented with. So if she's having abdominal pain after anus, she should be evaluated. That's not normal.

1:11:30 Drew I couldn't puncture a colon with my penis if you stretched it on to a drum and I got a running start.

1:11:37 Adam Well, you know, I'm not the regular guy here. It's not my job. I don't want to insult your penis or size. I don't want to antagonize you. But let me say, this guy may have an adequately sized organ.

1:11:47 Drew When you insult Manny's penis, you not only insult him, but you insult his homies. Do you understand?

1:11:56 Adam The pygmies that are waiting outside for you.

1:11:58 Drew All right. Why is that?

1:12:00 Adam Okay, we're done with that one. How about Chunky?

1:12:03 Drew Chunky Siemen? Mickey? Yeah. You're 29. What's up?

1:12:07 Adam That could be a rapper.

1:12:08 Caller No, you guys kill me, man. You guys are too funny. Hey, no, well, you know, every once in a while, this question's been on my mind for a couple years and I finally got up the ball to call in. But every once in a while, it comes out super chunky. And I wonder, you know, sometimes it comes out normal. I wonder if it comes out chunky, you know, it's like, what's up with that?

1:12:27 Drew Yeah. How's that work?

1:12:28 Adam Oh, you're turning that one over to me, huh?

1:12:29 Caller Yeah.

1:12:30 Drew No, I know. Sometimes the thing comes out like, you know, it was put through a Cuisinart and sometimes it comes out like, you know, like it's a Dumplings and a Gazpacho.

1:12:41 Caller Yeah.

1:12:42 Adam Well, it's your state of hydration. If you're dehydrated, any fluid substance in your body, because water is distributed throughout all the areas of your body. And so if you're dehydrated, that would make it more chunky, more solid. And then there's a mixture of substances that go into the ejaculate. So, like.

1:13:04 Drew So, if you, let's say, you ate a sack of flour before you whacked off, it might have some effect.

1:13:09 Adam Right.

1:13:10 Drew I'll tell you, you know what I do with my chunky sperm? I save it. I'm building a igloo for my pet turtle.

1:13:18 Adam Oh, I see a.

1:13:20 Drew I gotta be high too.

1:13:21 Adam Yeah, maybe do a wrap on that one.

1:13:23 Drew Okay.

1:13:23 Adam Here's a good one.

1:13:25 Drew Tyler?

1:13:26 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:13:27 Drew You're 15, what's up?

1:13:30 Caller Yeah, I live in Castro Valley and I was just wondering, like yesterday, I tried to put weed in the cookies and like it didn't work.

1:13:40 Caller Right.

1:13:41 Caller And I was just wondering if like, I have to add something or. I love bomb.

1:13:46 Caller Right.

1:13:47 Drew Yeah. Well, I'll tell you the ingredient it was missing, Tyler.

1:13:50 Caller Love.

1:13:52 Drew You gotta bake with love, brother. Did did you try to make, did you bake the pot into the cookie dough?

1:14:00 Caller Yeah.

1:14:01 Drew And what did you do? Did you?

1:14:02 Caller Yeah, I took it and I'd like, I'd take about like a half a spoon and I'd like make it flat. Then add in the middle.

1:14:11 Drew Right.

1:14:11 Caller And then take some and put it on the top.

1:14:13 Drew Yeah.

1:14:14 Caller And then I baked it in my, my health teacher who was pretty cool yesterday. He was like telling us all these tips about like what you do because he was like a special person that came in to talk for our class.

1:14:25 Drew All right.

1:14:26 Adam What you do with what? The teacher's telling you how to make pot brownies?

1:14:29 Caller Yeah. He was like, he was like somebody that came in to talk to our school.

1:14:33 Adam He's a moron if he's telling you how to make pot brownies. That's what he means.

1:14:35 Caller Well, he wasn't like telling us like, like real, he wasn't telling us that he cared if we did it. He was just like, this is like the facts about it.

1:14:44 Drew Hey, Tyler, you go to some kind of hippie school?

1:14:48 Caller No.

1:14:49 Drew You really go to regular school?

1:14:50 Caller Yeah, it's like a regular public school.

1:14:52 Adam Ask your mother to help you bake the brownies.

1:14:55 Drew Hey, Tyler.

1:14:56 Adam No, where's your mom? Where's your dad?

1:14:57 Caller Who do you live with?

1:14:59 Caller My parents are separated and I'm living with my dad and my mom.

1:15:04 Drew Hey, Stoner.

1:15:05 Adam I understand.

1:15:06 Drew Your parents are separated. And you're living with your dad and your mom.

1:15:11 Caller Yeah, at the same time.

1:15:13 Drew Was one of them your step-parent?

1:15:16 Caller No, it's just like, well, my dad has a girlfriend.

1:15:19 Adam How long have you been smoking pot or eating it?

1:15:22 Caller I've been smoking it since yesterday was my first attempt at eating it.

1:15:26 Drew Hey, Tyler. Listen to me.

1:15:28 Adam He's a little disjointed.

1:15:29 Drew Stop smoking the weed. Stop eating the weed. It's affecting you. You understand? You may have a problem. You need your brain. Stop it. Do it when you're older. You're too young. Listen to me. I know. All right? Jesus Christ. My parents are separated. Who are you living with? My mom and my dad. Well, that's stoned.

1:15:54 Adam It is. And it's an example of-

1:15:55 Drew He may be more stoned than you are right now, if that's possible, Bruce.

1:15:58 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:15:59 Drew Yeah. This guy has someone come to school and tell him how to teach him how to bake pot brownies. You know who came to my school when I was in high school and spoke?

1:16:08 Adam Frank Zaffron. No. No.

1:16:10 Drew LeBeau from Hogan's Heroes came to speak about the Holocaust.

1:16:16 Adam I can tell it profoundly affected you.

1:16:18 Drew Yeah. I was like, what is this French idiot from Hogan's Heroes talking about the Holocaust for?

1:16:25 Adam I don't think I've ever seen Hogan's Heroes. I never liked that show.

1:16:27 Drew Oh, it's hysterical. It's about the Nazis.

1:16:31 Adam You know, with the fine precision that I stick a phrase between your pauses and sentence, how could you say that I'm stoned? I mean, that's an art that I have.

1:16:40 Drew I'm telling you, you're not leaving a night before you give me oral sex. That's how stoned you are, Liz. Yeah, hi. Liz, you're 25.

1:16:47 Adam Can't even pick the right calls.

1:16:49 Drew What's up?

1:16:50 Caller Well, I've recently started masturbating and there's a specific spot in my vagina that gives me, you know, the best feeling. And basically when I climax, it's coming out really wet and it looks kind of, it's not like white, you know, it's kind of, I think I'm urinating. It's kind of looks bad.

1:17:20 Drew It's possible.

1:17:21 Caller And I'm wondering if I'm doing it in the wrong spot.

1:17:23 Drew Did this just start? Well. Have you ever done this with a guy?

1:17:29 Caller Yeah, I mean, I'm married and-

1:17:30 Drew All right, was your husband mine?

1:17:32 Caller No.

1:17:33 Drew All right, well then don't worry about it.

1:17:34 Adam Well, there's certain areas when you stimulate them, there's an increased amount of secretion. So, some women think that it's urine and it's not.

1:17:43 Drew So that's all right. Tina.

1:17:45 Caller Yeah.

1:17:46 Drew Your 29, your boyfriend lacks pre-cum.

1:17:49 Caller Yeah.

1:17:49 Drew You want to know if this is connected to sterility?

1:17:52 Caller Well, I want to know if it's normal.

1:17:54 Caller He had a hernia when he was a baby.

1:17:56 Adam No.

1:17:56 Caller I guess the doctor told his mom that he was going to be sterile and he's never had pre-cum.

1:18:02 Drew What do you mean pre-cum? You mean his penis doesn't drip?

1:18:04 Caller Yeah.

1:18:05 Drew All right, mine doesn't either. Are you serious?

1:18:07 Adam His plumbing is more efficient.

1:18:08 Drew Nothing wrong with that.

1:18:10 Adam I mean, how did you know that? Are you an expert on comparing different amounts of ejaculate in men or not being?

1:18:15 Caller Well, no. I've had sex with other men.

1:18:18 Drew Yeah. Don't be so kind of sinning, stoner.

1:18:21 Caller Hey, Tina.

1:18:22 Caller Yeah.

1:18:22 Drew All right, listen. We got to break because it's been five minutes and Bruce hasn't eaten anything yet.

1:18:27 Caller I was just waking up.

1:18:28 Drew All right. It's not why he's sterile.

1:18:30 Caller He has that delayed speech thing going on.

1:18:32 Drew What's that?

1:18:33 Caller He has that delayed speech thing going on.

1:18:35 Drew No, he's high as a kite.

1:18:36 Adam Listen, you stay in a room with Adam for about two hours and we'll see how your speech is.

1:18:40 Drew Jennifer.

1:18:41 Caller Yeah.

1:18:42 Drew You're 17, you're pregnant. You're scared you're going to get kicked out of the house.

1:18:46 Caller Yeah.

1:18:47 Drew How pregnant are you?

1:18:48 Caller Well, I'm like two weeks. I just had sex twice and my boyfriend just recently lost his virginity to me, and I already have a five-month-old baby.

1:18:56 Drew Okay. Listen, goofball, what are you doing? You got to use protection.

1:19:00 Caller Yeah. Well, we did the second time and not the first.

1:19:03 Drew All right. Well, as long as you do it 50% of the time, you should never be able to have children. Hey, hold on. Where's your other child?

1:19:11 Caller My other child at home with his grandma.

1:19:15 Drew Listen, when I'm in charge, girls like you will be sterilized, and I am not kidding. You're a troublemaker. Now, I don't know what somebody did to you, and I feel sorry for you in many ways, but you cannot just populate the planet at will. Now, you're going to give this kid up for adoption or you're going to have an abortion?

1:19:33 Caller See, that's what I don't know.

1:19:34 Caller See, I'm afraid if I do, my boyfriend like he, I'm just like whatever is that to him, but he's like, he like doesn't know what to do. He's never, he's never been in like this kind of situation.

1:19:46 Adam What did your parents do with the, I mean, you've been through this once before.

1:19:48 Drew Well, they'd been raised by the grandparents.

1:19:50 Adam I know. How did they handle the last time you told them you were pregnant?

1:19:53 Caller Like, they were just like kind of really disappointed. They were just, they didn't think I would do something like that, and it just like happened and like.

1:20:01 Adam Well, it just like happened again.

1:20:02 Caller Well, I've only had sex four times in the past. Oh, boy.

1:20:05 Drew Jesus, four times in two kids.

1:20:07 Adam Yeah, there's got to be.

1:20:08 Drew I've had sex like nine times. I have no kids. Bruce, you got to talk to her off the air. We got to go to break. Are you mellow enough to do it or am I going to bomb your house?

1:20:16 Adam I've delayed speech, but I think I can handle it.

1:20:18 Drew All right, hang on, Jennifer. Bruce, talk to you off the air. We'll be back in a minute.

1:20:21 Caller You're about to get funky, yo.

1:20:24 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:20:28 Caller We'll be right back.

1:20:44 Caller Well now, this has been Loveline.

1:20:46 Caller The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Wednesday, January 26, 2000