0:53
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.
0:59
Voiceover
Losing her discretion, advised. Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.
1:07
What are you saying?
1:09
Voiceover
Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist, and tomorrow night we have Pat O'Brien from Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, and one of my male lovers, Jimmy Kimmel, will be in here promoting The Man Show, yes.
1:39
Drew
Wait a minute. Pat O'Brien promoting The Man Show?
1:41
Adam
Pat O'Brien will be promoting whatever we tell Pat to promote, or we'll kick Pat's old ass out of the studio. So Pat and Jimmy tomorrow night, and Jimmy on Letterman tonight, everybody. A childhood dream realized for him. Oh, yes. Yes. He's been in love with Letterman for many years.
1:58
Drew
Was he freaked out?
1:59
Adam
Yes, he was thoroughly freaked out.
2:01
Oh, really?
2:01
Adam
Okay. Tonight, our guest, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, that'd be Jimmy Chay and Double D from the band is in here tonight. And these are guys who I thought I met them, but everything's a blur over at WHS.
2:17
Oh, yeah.
2:18
Adam
In DC each year when they play the big festival over there, or maybe people were just talking about you. We couldn't figure it out.
2:26
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Don't believe what they said.
2:27
Adam
It was all good, as I recall.
2:30
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah. Hey, we saw Pat O'Brien tonight. Tonight.
2:33
Adam
Where did you see him?
2:33
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
We saw him at the Palm.
2:35
Adam
Oh, you went out to eat?
2:36
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah. Every good record label brings you out to eat. Yeah. And you come to Los Angeles.
2:40
Adam
Took you to the Palm. That's nice.
2:41
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Oh, you know.
2:42
Adam
Nice big slam.
2:43
Don't wear shorts.
2:45
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Don't wear shorts. They may double grab a pair of pants from the cook. Really?
2:51
They try to put some pants on?
2:53
Drew
That's my elbow.
2:54
I got told to put on pants at the Palm.
2:56
Adam
You guys are from Maryland, right? And everyone still lives there, correct?
3:02
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah.
3:02
Drew
Whereabouts?
3:03
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Annapolis.
3:07
Adam
It's nice country over there. We always explain to the guys before the show, we enjoy going through that part of the country.
3:14
Drew
Maryland?
3:14
Adam
Yeah. Didn't we go through there?
3:15
Drew
You and I went through that night one time, and that was it. We went to Maryland.
3:19
Adam
Yeah, but. How far is Maryland from DC.?
3:22
Drew
Oh, OK.
3:23
Adam
It's right there.
3:24
Drew
Well, the last time we did that, I was vomiting or something. Yeah, that's what he was saying.
3:27
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
That's what he was talking about that earlier.
3:28
Adam
That's what I was saying. It's a nice part of the country.
3:30
Drew
Yeah, I don't remember a thing about it. The treetop going by the window is all I saw.
3:34
Adam
Drew vomiting. If you want to know how to get from Philly to Maryland, you just follow the trail of peas and carrots. Drew left out the window of the town car. Bring Your Own Stereo is the name of Jimmie's Chicken Shack's latest CD. I think what we should do is hear something off it because the band is new, climbing the charts but not what you call a household name just yet. I think when you hear the song, then you'll know exactly who we're talking about. So Anderson, you got the song queued up. What song are we playing first?
4:12
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Hook It Up.
4:13
Adam
Yeah.
4:14
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I don't know. What are we playing? Maybe Do Right?
4:16
Drew
Here it is here.
4:16
Adam
We'll do Do Right.
4:17
Drew
OK.
4:18
Adam
All right. You ready there Anderson? Here we go. Jimmie's Chicken Shack. It is Loveline. That is Jimmie's Chicken Shack, and that is Do Right off of Bring Your Own Stereo. And they will be on Donnie Marie on November 11th, and they'll be at the Roxy on the 21st. And I have some more dates. That's all of this month, actually. I'll have more dates for them coming up. And until then, I think we'll go to the phones. Donna?
7:53
Yes.
7:54
Adam
What's up? You're 22.
7:56
Caller
Yes.
7:56
I had a comment about the other night, about women, saying that the wet orgasms, they were the same.
8:04
I do have them.
8:06
Caller
But I only have them if I masturbate. They are totally different.
8:10
Drew
Well, we'll only bring everybody up to speed on this.
8:12
Adam
Okay. We were speaking last night. We get a lot of questions about the, you know, orgasms that involve, at least for women, some sort of discharge, essentially, I like what a guy does, but, uh...
8:25
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Stuff.
8:26
Adam
Stuff coming out.
8:27
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Love stuff.
8:28
Adam
And, uh, we've been taking a lot of questions on this topic. And first of all, I was trying to figure out what percentage of women have this. And we figured out it's, uh, not a high percentage, but they're certainly out there.
8:38
Drew
Yeah.
8:39
Adam
And maybe about, uh, five percent, something like that, maybe less.
8:42
Drew
We were getting a lower, yeah.
8:44
Adam
Lower? Two percent?
8:45
Drew
Yeah.
8:45
Adam
I've never even been in the same room as a woman who had an orgasm. Once, once when I was about 13, I walked in on my mom had a vibrator out, and that was, uh, that was as close as I got. But, uh, you know, the thing that I, you know, one of the things I hate most about women is they have the best orgasms when they're alone. They're best. You know what I mean? It's like, I can't really have one while, uh, the guy's on top of me or going down on me, but I'll tell you, I get alone and it all hangs out. Guys, guys don't operate that way. We have mediocre ones alone, but our better ones are usually in the company of women, or sometimes just other friends at the bar. All right. So, but what they were saying last night is that the orgasms that women had ejaculate in their orgasm, or with their orgasm, wasn't particularly better than a dry run. That's what we kept hearing last night. I kept questioning it because I don't really believe it. And Donna, you're saying that the ones that coax some fluid out of you are better.
9:46
Yes, absolutely. I think that more women can have them. They just do not know their body. I mean, that's my thing.
9:54
Adam
If you know your body so well, how come you can't have one with your man?
9:58
Drew
He doesn't know the spot.
9:59
Adam
He doesn't know your body.
10:00
If he does the oral, I can.
10:04
Caller
But from straight sex, I just have regular orgasms.
10:06
Unless we do it a number of times, we do it a number of times in a row, then I can have a wet orgasm. But I mean, it has to be like a great number.
10:15
Adam
That's got to be a good conversation with the guy involving the wet orgasm, which is good news, bad news. I can have the wet orgasm in front of you. Bad news is your mouth is going to be in the mouth. I mean, you got to be down there. That's a bit of a deal breaker for a lot of guys. Would you guys be into that? All right. Is that ever happened to you guys?
10:37
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I don't know. The thing I have in my mind right now is like, you know, those fake blood capsules for the movies. I'm just thinking the fake orgasm capsule, you know. That way it's always wet and you can...
10:49
Adam
Just the gelatin capsule tucked into your cheek.
10:54
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Look, check it out.
10:54
Drew
You did it.
10:55
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
That was great.
10:56
Drew
But we're talking about significant volumes of fluid.
11:01
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I got no problem with that.
11:02
It would be like water balloons.
11:04
Drew
I never had a problem with that. I think it would be cool. I've been looking for a woman that knows herself that well.
11:09
Adam
Drew, if you get blasted in the nostril, you can get water in the lung, can't you? And then get pneumonia and die?
11:14
Drew
Sure.
11:15
Adam
Oh, man. Okay. What a way to go. Chris?
11:19
Hey, what's up, guys?
11:20
Adam
You're 21.
11:21
Caller
That's me. How you doing?
11:22
Adam
Good.
11:23
Caller
Okay. Here's my situation. I've been with my girlfriend for about seven months now. And we've been having sex, unprotected sex, because she's been on the pill. So we've pretty much done everything, okay? Now, a month before being with her, I was with another girl, just like a one-night stand thing. And the condom broke. And probably for about a minute, we kept going, like until I really realized it, because I was drunk. And what happened was I contracted herpes with that chick. So this whole time I've been with my girlfriend, I didn't really know it until about two and a half months ago. But what I want to know... You didn't know what?
11:57
Adam
You didn't know he had herpes.
11:59
Drew
How is it you didn't know it?
12:01
Caller
Because I didn't break out. I didn't break out until about two and a half months ago.
12:05
Drew
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You were exposed when?
12:08
Caller
About right after New Year's.
12:10
Adam
Three and a half months before the break out.
12:12
Caller
Yeah.
12:13
Adam
Seemed like too long a period of time.
12:15
Caller
I was talking to my doctor and he said, you know, sometimes it usually he said it happens real quick.
12:20
Drew
Yeah, or at least within.
12:21
Caller
Sometimes it can, you know, wait a while and I subscribe to Men's Health and I have a couple books and it says it can actually, you know, be a while before you break out.
12:31
Drew
Yeah, it can, but you're talking about many, several, New Year's is like nine months ago. Where was your girlfriend?
12:39
Caller
I'm sorry, not New Year's, after New Year's. I'm sorry, guys.
12:41
Adam
Okay, now, wait a minute. It was three and a half months. That's the time period.
12:45
Caller
Yeah.
12:45
Drew
Between contact and breakout. What did the breakout look like?
12:49
It was blisters.
12:50
Drew
All right, okay.
12:51
Caller
It is, I mean, I've tested positive.
12:53
Adam
Okay, so now what?
12:54
Caller
Okay, here's my question. Between that three and a half months, me and my girlfriend had sex a lot, a lot, a lot of times.
13:02
Adam
Unprotected.
13:03
Caller
Yeah.
13:03
Adam
Right.
13:03
Drew
How do you know she didn't have it and just give it to you?
13:06
Caller
Because honestly, I do care about her and I know her real well.
13:11
Drew
The majority of women with herpes don't know they have it.
13:15
Caller
You're right, Drew, you're right.
13:17
Drew
So maybe she just has it and gave it to you. Odds are. That would fit much more with the story you're telling us.
13:24
Caller
I agree with you, but it's just like, I don't want to believe that we can tell you don't want to believe it.
13:30
Adam
It's important not to believe things you don't want to believe. Keep going with it. What about the Easter Bunny?
13:39
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
It wasn't that stuffed animal.
13:41
Drew
Alright, anyway, so what do you want to do about it?
13:42
Caller
Okay, check this out. This is what I want to know. Because right now we're broken up. Because she is, see this is nothing. She's afraid of catching it. Which is totally understandable.
13:51
Drew
She probably already got it.
13:53
Caller
That's what I'm saying.
13:54
Either way, she's already...
13:55
Caller
You know what? You know, the stuff that we've done, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you probably do have it. And even to my doctor, he said it's real hard for chicks to tell if they have it.
14:05
Drew
That's right.
14:05
Caller
But with the situation that I'm in...
14:07
Adam
Hold on, your doctor didn't say chicks, though. He said broads, or hoes. I don't know what it is. I haven't read any medical......clutches, he said, Chris.
14:18
Caller
But Drew, this is a question for you, Maisie. What are the chances of her having it, even though she has no symptoms? And I mean, I've looked for her and stuff, and we haven't seen anything yet. But what do you think the chances of her having it are? Just like you tell her, you know what? I talked to Dr. Drew.
14:33
Drew
The chances of her having it from you? And you had an outbreak during the time you guys engaging in vigorous sexual activity?
14:40
Caller
Yeah. OK, when I broke out, we stopped. And then I've been using condoms.
14:44
Adam
OK. Hey, Chris, listen, what do you care if Drew says 42% or not? She's got to go get checked out.
14:52
Drew
She's got to go to check. I agree.
14:53
Caller
Even when she does get checked out, she can't get checked out until she sees something because they have to take a skin test or something. It's not just like a blood test.
15:00
Drew
Well, no.
15:01
Adam
Don't they just send a canary up there?
15:03
Drew
No. There are things on the cervix and in the vagina that you can't see that can increase the index of suspicion that that's what she has. So she needs to be checked out. She doesn't have any symptoms. Yeah, that makes it less likely. But the story is that of some... I think the story suggests she does.
15:24
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Sick day at school.
15:25
Adam
The bigger picture here, Chris, is it seems like she may be done with this relationship, herpy or not. You know what I mean?
15:32
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Tell your friends.
15:33
Adam
I mean, because if you really look at it this way, if she's madly in love with Chris, he didn't cheat on her. He had sex with somebody a month before he met her. The condom broke. He didn't know the condom broke, although he knew he had sex for a minute after the condom broke, which I find somewhat suspicious. But he didn't really do anything wrong. He had attempted safe sex with somebody a month before he met her, and then didn't show any symptoms of this.
16:06
Drew
If the story is accurate.
16:08
Adam
I don't know if the story is accurate, and I know when a woman breaks up with a guy, it's because she wants to break up with him, not over the one reason that the guy cites. I'm playing my stereo too loud, so Tammy left, and she said that was it. They want out. Because as we know from doing this show, they'll stick around with abusive alcoholic crack addicts for years, and sire a few kids with them, and go visit them in prison. Natalie.
16:35
Hi.
16:36
Adam
Hey, you're 15.
16:38
Caller
Yeah, I called in last Thursday.
16:41
Adam
That's right.
16:42
Caller
Yeah, and you told me to admit to my parents that some guy was blackmailing me.
16:46
Adam
Oh, in the van?
16:48
Caller
Yeah, that was me.
16:49
Adam
All right, hold on. This is going to take about 20 minutes. Natalie called in about two weeks ago, and she said that when she was coming home from church with another, she's 15, with another 15-year-old guy, she gave the guy a hand job in the back of a van while the mom was driving.
17:08
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Daring.
17:09
Adam
Yeah, very bold.
17:10
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Wow.
17:11
Adam
And not what the baby Jesus had in mind, I'm sure. Although technically, she was out of church. It's not like she got Game Wonder in a pew somewhere. But the point is, is he then said to her, she called back the next week and he said, listen, I'm going to tell your parents what you did to me, unless you give it, do another one or have sex with me or something like that. Wasn't that part of the blackmail?
17:37
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Sounds like a businessman to me.
17:39
Adam
And then we said to her, he's not going to tell your parents, because he's going to get into more trouble. Your dad is liable to kill him. So don't listen to his threats and ignore them. And now Natalie's back to tell us this was bad advice. Right, Natalie?
17:56
Caller
He told my parents not about the hand job that I was smoking pot.
18:01
Adam
Yeah.
18:01
Caller
And my parents believe him.
18:03
Adam
Okay.
18:04
Caller
So now I'm like totally grounded from, I'm not sure where I'm grounded from, but I know I am grounded.
18:10
Adam
Right.
18:10
Caller
And then I told my mom and my dad that he was blackmailing me into having sex with him. My mom looked at me like I had sausages coming out of my ears. She said no way in hell that sweet little Jerry would do something like that. She's had him for the past 11 years, and there would be no way he would have the nerve to do that.
18:28
Adam
Okay. So now you're grounded because they believed him and they don't believe you. And why did he say this? I mean, did he say, I just thought you ought to know about her smoking pot?
18:40
Caller
Yeah. He said he was concerned for my welfare or something like that.
18:44
Drew
Do you smoke a lot of pot?
18:46
Caller
Not a lot, like once or twice a month, you know, whenever.
18:50
Adam
Okay.
18:51
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Damn, I was going to say, tell your parents to listen to the radio show and you're off the hook, but now you're not.
18:58
Adam
You're grounded now.
19:01
Caller
Yeah.
19:01
Adam
All right. Well, what are you going to do? And listen, by the way, as an adult, I'd like to be grounded once in a while.
19:08
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Read a book.
19:09
Adam
Think about that, Drew. What if someone made you just stay at home for a couple of days?
19:13
Drew
Are you kidding?
19:14
Adam
You just sit around and watch TV in your pajamas.
19:16
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
There's nothing going on out there anyway, trust us.
19:18
Drew
But you now are no longer being blackmailed and that was your concern.
19:22
Caller
Well, now my parents think that I'm lying about him, that we had a fight or something, and that's why I'm saying it. What, Mom?
19:28
You gave the cat a spoon of water?
19:29
Caller
Yes, I gave the cat a spoon of water.
19:32
Adam
Okay.
19:33
Caller
Adam.
19:34
Caller
Yeah?
19:35
Caller
Adam.
19:36
Adam
Adam, the 35 year old guy. Natalie.
19:41
Caller
Yeah? Yes, Mom.
19:46
Drew
You're getting in trouble.
19:47
Adam
I'm busted.
19:48
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
She's just talking about hand jobs. It's innocent.
19:50
Drew
Wait, listen, do you want to talk to Mom?
19:52
Adam
Hey, Natalie?
19:52
Caller
No. Hi, yeah, what?
19:54
Adam
Can we talk to your mom?
19:55
Caller
No.
19:56
Adam
All right. I'll meet you behind the bleachers after the JV game, not after the varsity game, all right? I want to watch you. All right, Natalie?
20:06
Caller
Okay.
20:07
Adam
All right. Just take your lumps. Oh, boy. I get the feeling when parents don't believe certain kids, it's more like the kids don't have a lot of credibility more than the parents are bad. I mean, this Natalie, I'm sure, has spun some yarns in her day.
20:24
Drew
Oh, yeah.
20:25
Adam
And they just figure whatever Natalie did can't be good.
20:28
Drew
Yeah.
20:28
Adam
And by the way, she was smoking pot.
20:31
Drew
And she was giving a guy a hand job in the back of a car.
20:33
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Evil pot smoking hand jobber.
20:34
Drew
But the parents right there.
20:35
Adam
Van, van. And I was telling Drew that when she says she was giving a guy a hand job in the back of a van, I'm picturing as 77 Econoline that's jacked up in the back. It says Love Tron and Rainbow Tape along the side with that airbrushed Viking chick with the chrome bra.
20:53
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
With the club as that window in the back.
20:55
Adam
Right. Riding like the saber-tooth tiger or the the serpent, the Mayan muscle man who's about to dump the sacrifice, the beautiful Mayan chick into the volcano or something. But these vans are like, now they're like astros and mini-vans. stars and yeah. Garmini Vans.
21:15
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Stuck to the window.
21:16
Adam
Yeah, we gotta get back to the van. Vans aren't, first of all, vans aren't supposed to have windows. Just a windshield. No windows other than the windshield. And they got the one in the back, but yeah, it's shaped like a diamond or a star or a bubble.
21:30
Or a club or a spade or something like that.
21:31
Adam
Right, and it's so dark, you really can't see through it. It's not good for anything. And the captain's chairs, it's swivel, hollowed out, pickle barrel, you know.
21:41
Drew
See, it sounds like you're not describing it. You're reliving the moment.
21:44
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I am.
21:45
Drew
Yeah, aren't you?
21:46
Adam
I've closed my eyes and I'm back in 79.
21:49
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Was those hand jobs when you were blackmailing the little girls?
21:53
Drew
Back from the desk.
21:54
Adam
It was a simpler time, Drew. All right, we will take a little break. Jimmy's Chicken Shack is our guest tonight. We will come back when we do. We'll speak to Chaz. Chaz wants to know how you get rid of the crabs. We have a traveling band here, so I'm sure they'll be able to offer up some tips, possibly double D. Hey, why are you gonna say Che?
22:14
What are you talking about?
22:15
Adam
Okay. Well, all that after this.
22:18
Che knows too much.
22:36
Caller
This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.
22:52
Adam
All right, Jimmie's Chicken Shack is our guest tonight. Chay, Jimmie and Double D are all here from the band. Bring Your Own Stereo is the name of the CD. Donny Marie coming up on the 11th, Roxy the 21st of this month. Also, they're gonna be in Reno on the 15th, Portland on the 18th, San Francisco on the 21st, 22nd, LA, wait a minute, 22nd LA, Roxy.
23:17
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah, that's the Roxy.
23:19
Adam
I thought it said, I thought I got 21st. November 21st, playing on the Roxy.
23:25
Caller
Well.
23:29
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I think it's the 22nd.
23:30
Drew
Get it on the way first.
23:32
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
The paper said 22nd.
23:34
Adam
You, I'll tell you what, you get there on the 21st, and if you gotta sit through the Sugarloaf reunion, so be it. Three of the original eight members from Sugarloaf have performed. Still loathing after all these years. And Phoenix on the 24th. Yeah, you couldn't be in San Francisco on the 21st and LA on the 21st. Yeah. So I'm going with 22nd. All right. So now when we left off here on the famous Loveline, we were talking about Chaz, who's 21. Chaz?
24:10
Caller
Yeah.
24:12
Adam
You got the crabs?
24:13
Caller
Yeah, I do.
24:15
Adam
And you want to know how to get rid of them?
24:17
Caller
I got to get rid of these things.
24:19
Adam
Okay.
24:19
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Put them in a pot and steam them. Yeah, with a little old bay. In Maryland, that's what we do, a little old bay. Oh, I put some beer in there too. Miller. Natty Bo.
24:29
Caller
You dump that into the pot?
24:30
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
National Bohemian beer, just a little old bay, steam it away.
24:34
Adam
Are these aren't from, these aren't bay crabs.
24:38
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
No, blue crabs.
24:39
Caller
No, I don't think so. No, no.
24:41
Caller
They're Alaskan king crabs.
24:43
Where did you get them?
24:46
Adam
Where did you get these crabs, Janice?
24:48
Caller
I tell you what, shamefully enough, I didn't earn them.
24:51
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I don't really don't know how I got them. How do you not earn them?
24:55
Drew
How do you know they're crabs?
24:57
I just kind of figure that they're crabs.
25:00
Drew
What do you got?
25:02
Caller
Little bugs.
25:03
Drew
Where?
25:04
Caller
In my genitalia area.
25:06
Drew
They're just there?
25:07
Yeah.
25:08
Caller
Yikes. In my stomach.
25:10
Adam
Have you captured one?
25:11
Yeah.
25:12
Adam
You have?
25:12
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Does it have any claws?
25:14
Drew
Sure as in fleas.
25:17
Adam
Do fleas get down there? Yeah. Geez, that's bad when you got a flea collar around your balls. How do you know that?
25:23
Caller
They're not jumping around or anything.
25:25
Adam
Have you shaved, maybe? There's a couple ways you can... One, there's a conventional method, which is you just poison them out with that shampoo. But if you're against putting poison on your genitalia, you can do what I do, which is I actually just put a seagull in my underpants. It took a few days.
25:43
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
A small monkey, maybe?
25:45
Adam
It was a little difficult at work.
25:49
What if you're not anywhere near the coast?
25:51
Adam
Okay.
25:53
Drew
I understand why you didn't go get a prescription for the usual stuff.
25:57
Caller
I went and bought some of the over-the-counter stuff. I was out of town.
26:01
Drew
Yeah, it's not very strong in the over-the-counter. You got to get some Quell or Red or some of the over-the-counter stuff.
26:06
Adam
Can't you get some of the good over-the-counter stuff?
26:08
Drew
A-2000. I think Red is over-the-counter now too, but that's better than the A-2000, but he's pretty infested. He needs Quell.
26:16
Adam
Okay. So here's-
26:17
Drew
Elemite also is the other thing you can tell me about the plan.
26:19
Adam
I've never had crabs, but my roommate had crabs and we're actually sleeping in the same bed because we were poor.
26:28
Drew
I beg your pardon.
26:29
Adam
We were living in my garage. Is Charlie in the Chocolate Factory? We didn't have two beds. What can you do? Shoot me in the ass and then bang me in the ass.
26:39
Drew
There was Abraham Lincoln something in the same bed with his law partner for a long time. That's an amazing rumor has come up because of that.
26:47
Adam
We were not ganging off. I got news for you. We were just sleeping. Listen, if I was blowing the guy, you think I'd be saying we're sleeping in the same bed?
26:53
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
What about bribing hand jobs?
26:58
Adam
I never touched a guy, but we did share the same linen and I thought for sure I was going to get it and I didn't, but he had one or he had more than one, but we captured one and I said to him, I was telling you this the other day, I think, I said, ammonia, nothing will survive ammonia. I don't know if you guys have ever experimented with ammonia. Like you put it in a squirt bottle and you go out at night and you shoot some like cockroaches or some way that it kills them right there. They actually, they just turn over.
27:26
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Well, they do on tour.
27:27
Adam
Unscrew a cap of ammonia and take a whiff off the bottle. I mean, you start tearing up immediately. It's pretty potent stuff. So I had experimented with ammonia and I said, listen, we're going to take this crab and I'm going to show you how we're going to kill this thing. We put it on the bathroom counter of my dad's house and I put a drop of ammonia on this crab. So that the crab was completely enveloped in this drop. It was bigger than the crab in other words and it sat there for a minute. And then it just proceeded to walk right out of this drop of ammonia, leaving a trail of ammonia behind it and then just kept going.
28:05
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
And he transformed into a weeble wobble.
28:07
Adam
I looked at him at that point and I said, you got to cut your Johnson off. There's really nothing I can do. I've done all I can do. So apparently this stuff gets rid of it. But I don't know how it kills it if ammonia is not going to kill him.
28:22
Drew
Well, yeah, these are pesticides, basically.
28:26
Adam
Really?
28:26
Drew
Yeah.
28:26
Adam
Well, why does this stuff have to be through prescription? Why can't it be over the counter?
28:32
Drew
It's very toxic. It's a pesticide. It took us how many years to get Tagamet over the counter.
28:38
Adam
But here's what I'm saying, Drew. Isn't this a bit of a ploy by the drug manufacturers?
28:44
Drew
I don't know what it is. I really don't know the logic behind what is and is not available over the counter. It's changing, that's for sure.
28:50
Adam
You could argue that this is pretty toxic stuff and if you ingested it, you would die. But what about gasoline? That'd kill you, right? We don't have big problems with people.
29:02
Drew
We don't have anybody to handle that, see?
29:04
Adam
Yeah, that's my point. What's wrong with that? Why not? Okay. All right. So you got to go get the prescription stuff. Bonnie?
29:12
Caller
Yes.
29:13
Adam
You're 24.
29:14
Caller
Yes.
29:14
Adam
What's up?
29:16
Caller
Well, my boyfriend and I have sex during certain times of the month. I think it's usually just a short while after I am my period. He hits a spot in me that he says feels kind of like a rock with sharp edges and it hurts him. It's like...
29:35
Adam
He's a cervix. He's missing a... Somebody's ring. Graduation ring, I was going to say.
29:40
Drew
What's that?
29:41
Adam
Does it feel like an opal?
29:42
Caller
At certain times of the month, my insides shift. Right.
29:46
Adam
Into a prevent mode?
29:47
Caller
Does that happen?
29:48
No.
29:50
Drew
Yes, there are things that change, but nothing should feel like a pebbly or like a rock. That's concerning to me.
29:56
Caller
Okay.
29:56
Drew
When was your last pelvic exam?
29:58
Caller
Um, about six months ago, but I know I do have several large cysts on my ovaries.
30:07
Drew
Yeah, it could just be an ovarian cyst or something that he's feeling, but again, those are soft and rubbery or early, smooth, rock, irregular.
30:15
Is he large?
30:17
Adam
Yeah, he's got like a goose neck in it. He's got like a jog in his penis.
30:23
Drew
You don't have an IUD in or anything like that, right?
30:27
Caller
I can kind of feel it too when he hits a certain spot.
30:30
Adam
But you got to understand, when you butt up against something with your penis, a sponge feels like a rock. You know what I'm saying? I mean, everything feels like it's pretty hard when you're banging away there and you hit something. Hey, Bonnie, maybe you ought to just go in and have another look-see.
30:46
Drew
Absolutely.
30:47
Adam
Okay. Now, will the gynecologist look or does he actually have to have sex with her?
30:52
Drew
No, he feels.
30:52
Adam
With his penis?
30:53
Drew
Hands.
30:54
Adam
Oh, hands. Okay, because that'd be unprofessional.
30:58
Caller
Okay, yeah. I have been told that I need to have biopsies done on these cysts because I have several large ones that are extremely painful.
31:07
Drew
All right. Well, we got to make sure one of those hasn't degenerated into something more serious.
31:11
Adam
All right.
31:11
Drew
Checked out, right?
31:12
Caller
Okay. Thank you.
31:13
Adam
Hey, Drew, how the hell... There's so much going on downstairs with women. I mean, it's a full-time job. It's no wonder they can't work as much as men. The vagina is a full-time job for them. It's really the equivalent to you driving like a Lamborghini Diablo is a commuter car. You know what I mean? It's a constant... You have to sync up. There's six Weber down draft carbs on there that have to be synchronized every other week. I mean, there's always something that... It's always out of tune. I mean, there's always something going on. When it's running, nothing better, but there's always something up, right? Right. And now, this gynecology is fairly new. I mean, it's not like some guys have been down there for 300, 400 years, really, figuring anything out. You know, lasers. I mean, things weren't sterilized. How the hell... What went on, you know, 300 years ago, 500 years ago?
32:08
Drew
Women died.
32:09
Adam
They just died at 27?
32:10
Drew
Yeah. Some were somewhere around... It's not what daddy read. Somewhere between 5 and 15, 20% women could look forward to dying in childbirth.
32:18
Adam
Oh, my God. So, they would die when they gave birth.
32:23
Drew
Yeah.
32:23
Adam
And then the rest of them just died a few years later after the East just sort of... So, women, really, 4 or 500 years ago, you could look forward to smelling for about 10 years, and then you would just keel over. Is that right, Drew?
32:37
Drew
Women died in childbirth commonly. We forget about that data. I mean, that was the leading cause of death.
32:43
Adam
Childbirth.
32:43
Drew
Childbirth, yeah.
32:44
Adam
Right. Okay. So, it's always been better to be a man historically.
32:47
Caller
Well, certainly it was then.
32:49
Adam
When do you think women took over the life expectancy thing? Is that a recent thing?
32:56
Caller
As soon as gynecologists came around.
32:58
Drew
Yeah, it must be. As soon as we conquered the death rate in childbirth, I assume.
33:01
Adam
Yeah, but guys were dying a lot in wars and all that kind of stuff, right?
33:06
Drew
Yeah.
33:07
Adam
All right. I'd like to figure that out. Did women always live longer than men?
33:10
Drew
Probably if they made it past a certain point, they would.
33:13
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Right. And then they just drive them into the grave, right?
33:16
Adam
Right. An early one. And you understand, too, why this whole virginity was such a big deal a few hundred years ago, too, because you get one of these things and you're out.
33:26
Drew
These diseases.
33:27
Adam
You get like syphilis or something. That's it.
33:29
Drew
Gone are you. I'm going to take you out.
33:30
Adam
You're gone. All right. Scott.
33:32
Yeah.
33:33
Adam
Thank God we're living in a time when all women can be whores and no one can really pay at least physical price for it. Right, Scott?
33:42
Yeah.
33:42
Adam
Okay. You're 20.
33:43
Caller
Yeah.
33:44
Adam
What's up?
33:47
Caller
I was recently involved with this fraternity prank thing and my girlfriend and like a sister sorority. And we do these things like call like a raid, not really go in the house or thing just on the outside. We like, you know, decorate and not really trash it, but it's stuff. Then a few other guys, one of them has also dating one of the girls and he got an email. He found an email saying about their planning something. So then I got in and found my girlfriend's password and stuff and got her emails. I wasn't reading all of her emails. I was getting her sorority stuff.
34:19
Adam
Yeah.
34:20
Caller
And she, two nights ago, was on my computer and I did popped up and she saw one from her sorority president. She was like, what's this? All right. So now she's like, you know, pissed and says that she lost my trust and can't respect me and stuff. And I just don't know how to convince her that I do, that I do respect her.
34:49
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah.
34:49
Drew
She was looking for a way out already though.
34:51
Caller
No, she's not.
34:52
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You'll never win. You'll never win, Gulliver.
34:56
Caller
I mean, she told me, she told me that if she didn't love me as much as she does, that she'd be gone.
35:04
Drew
I thought you said she was gone.
35:06
Caller
What?
35:06
Drew
I thought you said she is gone.
35:08
Caller
No, she's not. All right.
35:09
Adam
Now hold on. So what's the problem? I can't figure out the big why she feels raped here. You're in a fraternity, she's in a sorority, you're trying to get the-
35:20
Drew
It's like reading somebody's diary.
35:21
Adam
Skinny. Yeah, it's like stealing the mascot or something. It's not even as bad as stealing a diary because I mean reading a diary. When you read a diary, you're pure eavesdropping there. But when-
35:33
Drew
Reading e-mails?
35:34
Adam
Yeah, but this has- he had an agenda, which is he's trying to figure out what they're going to do to his fraternity. I mean, it's a sort of all's fair kind of thing.
35:44
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
If that's what she's going to hold against you, you're lucky.
35:48
Adam
Is that really just the situation? Their sorority was planning to do something and you guys were trying to decipher the code?
35:55
Caller
Yeah.
35:55
Adam
And she's freaked out because of that?
35:58
Caller
Because I went and got her password.
36:03
Adam
I know. So you say to her, yeah, but you understand I only did it because we're just trying to figure out what you guys were going to do.
36:08
Caller
But she says I've totally, you know, disrespected her by doing that.
36:13
Adam
Yeah, I know.
36:14
Drew
But it makes me think she's looking for a reason.
36:16
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah, because we disrespect them by breathing.
36:20
Adam
It's not that big a deal. I mean, what were you were you spying on her before this prank?
36:26
Caller
No, never.
36:27
Adam
And so she understands it only has to do with the prank or potential prank.
36:33
Caller
She understands that that's what I say.
36:34
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Will she still kiss you with the tongue?
36:38
Caller
It's only been two days.
36:40
Adam
All right. Hey, Scott, I'll tell you what you got to do. I'll tell you how to handle these women. Oh, boy. Let me tell you this. You got to take if you get on the defense all the time, they'll just steamroll you. They'll just keep coming.
36:53
Caller
You need to hit them.
36:54
Adam
Woman's like a she's like a bear going down a trail of Yosemite. You turn and run and they'll go like their attitude is like, well, I wasn't going to chase the guy, but now he's running. I'm going to take him down on my way. Yeah, he must be weak. You need to, there are times when you have to apologize, kiss ass and buy some flowers, but there's other times when the best defense is a good offense. You need to hit it. Where you have to look at the girl or whoever it is right in the eye and go, listen, I already explained to you once why I did this. It's no big deal and you need to get over it. And that oftentimes will sort of char them into it. That's his only shot here. If she still says, like we were talking about earlier tonight, I want to break, if she says, I'm ending the relationship because your fraternity house was trying to get the drop on my sorority house and you went and looked at some e-mail trying to discern something, then she wanted out of the relationship.
37:54
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
And you're in college. Stick your head out the door.
37:57
Adam
That's right.
37:58
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
There's plenty of women.
38:00
Adam
Plenty. That's why you're in college. All right. We're going to take a little break. Jimmie's Chicken Shack is our guest tonight. When we come back, we'll speak to Michelle. Boyfriend always finishes and leaves her unsatisfied. She wants to know how to fix that. We'll explain how to fix that after this.
38:18
Caller
You have five seconds.
38:19
Loveline, Dr. Drew, to Back in a Minute.
38:35
Caller
This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.
38:53
Adam
All right, it is Loveline. We have the guys from Jimmy's Chicken Shack here. Bring Your Own Stereo is the name of the CD, and it's good. So I recommend you go out and get it. I have to listen to it before the show tonight. And these guys will be at the Roxy out here on the 22nd, Donnie Marie on the 11th, and then a few other dates I'll remind you of.
39:15
Drew
Look at that schedule. Before the night is true. I'd like to cover all that ground.
39:18
Caller
I'd like to kill myself.
39:20
Adam
Drew and I go out for a day or two doing these college lectures and that's it. That's enough.
39:27
Drew
Yeah. K-Up is like a week off. You're dangerous after that.
39:30
Adam
Yeah. We really go at it. I mean, it's trouble. I couldn't imagine, I mean, my...
39:36
Drew
They're in Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, St. Louis. Makes sense, doesn't it?
39:43
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah.
39:43
Adam
What's wrong with that? That's perfect.
39:44
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
We just go to sleep and wake up in a different place. You never notice.
39:48
Adam
Oh, it's...
39:49
Drew
It's not by bus, all this, is it?
39:51
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Some of it's by plane. Airbus.
39:54
Drew
Oh, don't...
39:55
Adam
That Airbus.
39:56
Drew
Please.
39:57
Adam
I flew that Airbus to Detroit. No, let me tell you something about the Airbus, or at least the Airbus I flew in. First off, don't name it Bus.
40:07
Caller
Right?
40:08
Adam
I think it's manufactured in Europe or something, and they may have a slight misconception about what the word Bus means to Americans, but I don't want to ride on the bus bus. As it is. I don't like the round bus. To me, Airbus is me sitting next to, you know, some elderly guys talking to themselves at some, you know, hobos...
40:31
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You're trying to pull the chain.
40:32
Caller
Exposing themselves.
40:33
Adam
Right. Yeah, I'm pulling the cord.
40:35
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
We're over Chicago.
40:36
Adam
I want to be dropped out in Chicago. And this Airbus, I flew to Detroit. I was flying first class. No movie, no screen. So I can't even watch that crappy Caroline in the City or whatever else they try to torture you with. They're Willow's Raymond. I figured out what they do with the TV shows in the air, which is, hey, you don't you don't see them on the ground because you can flip channels and go into the kitchen or perhaps just go down to the basement and kill yourself. But while you're in the air, you're going to watch Caroline in the City, mofo. You watch it. You're not. Where are you going? So no headphones in first class on the air bus. I said to the stewardess, I said, listen, can I have some headphones? No, we don't. They don't have them. No jack for it in the seat. I was like, listen, isn't there some sort of FAA regulation that they passed in 1969 that planes must have a headphone jack in the first class? Nope. You'll just sit here. You know what they gave me, Drew, on the airbus? They gave me one of those cups with the string and the ball on it. And I was able to sort of amuse myself by trying to get the ball into the cup.
41:47
Drew
I just saw those little paddles with the rubber ball on the start.
41:49
Adam
Oh, you had one of those? Oh, is that business? You must have been in business. In the first class, you get the cup with the ball, but they collect them before laying them.
41:57
Drew
Cups on a stick.
41:58
Adam
Right. Oh, boy. Michelle.
42:01
Caller
Hi.
42:01
Adam
You're 18.
42:02
Caller
Yeah.
42:03
Adam
Your boyfriend finishes and leaves you unsatisfied. Yeah. How long does it take for him to finish?
42:13
Caller
Well, I mean, we're going at it probably for about maybe an hour and a half, and nothing happened.
42:23
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
He's trying to keep living.
42:26
Adam
Wow. But what do you want him to do after the first hour or an hour and a half? I mean...
42:31
Caller
Well, I mean, I don't know. With other relationships and stuff, I've never had an orgasm either.
42:37
Adam
Okay. So, but you sound like you blame the guy.
42:42
Caller
No, I don't.
42:43
Adam
Okay. Yeah.
42:45
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
What if he just orally focused for a good while, you know? Wiggity lick. You told him to just have a good patient job at kissing you the right way there, and then maybe then, you know, you move...
42:58
Caller
It works, but I mean, just like, when sexually we... I never.
43:03
Drew
So that does work even now?
43:05
Caller
Well, I mean, yeah.
43:07
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Because that is sexually.
43:08
Adam
Does he do that?
43:09
Caller
Yeah.
43:10
Adam
He does.
43:11
Caller
Yeah, but he's not good at it.
43:13
Adam
Not very often. Okay. So that's your main complaint.
43:16
Caller
Yeah.
43:17
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Right? Edible jam.
43:20
Drew
Instruct your minion, will you?
43:22
Adam
Okay. Listen, let me, let me, and you guys, you guys back me up on this. Here's the biggest secret in love making. Women want oral sex above almost anything else. They really do. And guys don't really know that. Guys, guys think...
43:38
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You learn it. You learn it.
43:40
Adam
You learn it. You learn it.
43:41
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You find it out slowly.
43:42
Adam
Yes. It's something, it falls on you.
43:45
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I never penetrate a girl until I orally... Really? Well, good for you. Really? I never penetrate a girl until I orally... Some girls don't like it because they're so sensitive that they'll laugh or they'll go... You know, it makes them go a little bit wild. So sometimes I think you got to settle them down.
44:03
Adam
You have to feel out the situation, pardon the pun, and assess each one on their own merits. But if you were just going to make a basic rule, most women like oral sex better than intercourse. And this is the biggest problem guys have. Now what guys do is they ejaculate too quickly, they don't satisfy the women. All could be corrected with some good oral sex. You really could. And as I've said to Drew many times, even if you're only good for three or five minutes, soon as you start the oral sex, that's when you set the clock.
44:40
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
There you go for a couple of hours. You're on the clock. She would never have to have sex again.
44:45
Adam
You just perform oral sex. That's it. It's sad that we could be replaced by a dog, really, in a can of pate. It's really a sad realization. It really is. But it's true. This is what women want. And this is what their big complaint is. And they talk about guys not satisfying. That's what they're talking about.
45:08
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You know, hanging with the wrong gents, too. You know, these guys have to be trained, I think. Ladies, you got to train your men.
45:14
Caller
You have to know the spot.
45:15
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
And if they don't know what's good for them, you got to show them what's good for them. OK.
45:20
Adam
And you're right. And here's what else I want to say. I would say that most men do not like oral sex as much as women like oral sex. Not that we have a problem with oral sex. But women think we like oral sex more. And men think women like oral sex less than what the reality is. Women, you need to pipe up a little bit. You really do. Tell guys what you want. And guys, get down there and get busy. And here's my next tip. Don't go wild down there like you're like a hog calling contest or something. Take it easy. Take it slow. Just slow down. Just take it nice. Be rhythmic down there. Right, Drew?
46:02
Drew
How would a hog calling contest go?
46:05
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Do you want drum and bass like... Or do you want like, you know, a hip hop kind of... Some Barry White kind of rhythm.
46:14
Adam
Little, yeah, little beat box down there. You got beat and box in the same sense.
46:21
Caller
That drum's perfect.
46:23
Adam
Good radio. All right. A lot of oral sex. And take it slow. Mike?
46:30
Caller
Hey.
46:30
Adam
You're 26.
46:32
Caller
Hey, Dr. Drew, Adam. I love the show. Thanks. So, you guys keep me awake for part of the night.
46:38
Adam
You drive a truck or something?
46:39
Caller
Oh, yeah.
46:40
Caller
All right.
46:41
Adam
What's up?
46:42
Caller
Well, I heard the guy call in earlier about the crabs. And yeah, you're totally right about the crabs. If there's a nuclear war, there's going to be two things that will still be living and that's roaches and crabs.
46:53
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
And they're going to make weird babies, aren't they?
46:55
Adam
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
46:57
Caller
And I had them for a while and I couldn't, you know, I had bought the stuff over the counter.
47:02
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Couldn't shake.
47:03
Caller
And I couldn't figure out how to get rid of them. And the stuff works pretty good. But what you got to do is you got to shave. And you got to shave completely bald. Scratch. Down there because you can't get to every single one of them unless you do.
47:17
Adam
Yeah.
47:18
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
And hey, porno stars do it.
47:19
Adam
Yeah. Is that what you did, Mike?
47:22
Caller
Yeah. And what the funny thing is, is that I was living with my dad at the time and we shared the same bathroom. And he has this beard trimmer that he uses.
47:35
Adam
Oh, boy. That's great.
47:38
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
He thought he had freckles. New freckles at 50.
47:42
Adam
You didn't give your dad cramps via the beard trimmer, did you?
47:45
Caller
Well, see, he uses that beard trimmer for house hygiene. Those things will stick around anywhere. And I shaved myself with this beard trimmer and I don't guess I rinsed it off good enough or whatever. And a couple of days later, my dad, I saw him in the bathroom and he was pissing and you know, he had some different kind of medication.
48:12
Adam
This was how long ago?
48:14
Caller
This was about a couple of years ago.
48:17
Adam
Yeah.
48:17
Caller
I was visiting.
48:18
Adam
You were visiting. All right.
48:20
Caller
But he had a girlfriend too. My mind started going crazy because I was afraid I had gave my dad the crabs and my dad's girlfriend.
48:30
Adam
Well, you did give your dad the crabs, right?
48:32
Caller
Yeah.
48:32
Adam
Okay.
48:33
Caller
Yeah. And a couple of days later, I pretty much had to give in and I just pretty much told him, I didn't tell him it was because I used this beer trimmer, but I didn't tell him it was because I'll be the blonde and I got mixed up.
48:45
Adam
I imagine it was like one of those Budweiser commercials where you guys just finishing roofing the house and now you're sitting there and you're putting back a couple of cold ones.
48:53
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah, you know those bumps on your face there that's a crash. I forgot to tell you about that, yeah.
48:58
Adam
Yeah, it was Vietnamese hookers, dad. I don't recommend them.
49:02
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Emory said to bring home a bushel for that picnic.
49:06
Adam
All right, we're going to take a little break. Jimmy's Chicken Shack is here and we'll be back with more Crab Talk after this.
49:13
Dr. Drew, the phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.
49:16
Caller
We'll be right back.
49:40
Drew
And his loveline and Mr. Responsible, Mr. Priorities is not in the studio again here. So I guess this Dr. Drew, I'll just take him. Oh, excuse me, Adam. I'm sorry. I guess I missed it. You're still met by priorities and- The band. Wait a minute, your mic's not on. Oh, it's not going to put it. Go ahead, put it on. Put it on.
49:58
Adam
That's all right.
49:59
Drew
But we're going to go to the song. It's the next song, the second song we're playing is Lazy Boy Dash.
53:09
Adam
That is Lazy Boy Dash, off of Bring Your Own Stereo. Jimmie's Chicken Shack is our guest tonight. Jimmie Kimmel and Pat O'Brien will be in here tomorrow night. And I guess we should hop back on the phones here. Veronica?
53:25
Caller
Hey, hi.
53:26
Adam
You're 15. What's up?
53:28
Caller
Yeah, I have a question for Dr. Drew.
53:31
Caller
Yeah.
53:32
Yeah, I have a really weird discharge.
53:35
Caller
It's a clear, orgalist discharge.
53:37
Caller
It's really gross.
53:40
Caller
I've not been sexual or anything like that, though.
53:43
Drew
You've had it for how long?
53:45
Caller
A year, year and a half.
53:46
Caller
That's normal.
53:48
Normal?
53:49
Drew
Normal. You just sort of hit puberty, and your discharge will change, and it gets sort of thicker and more heavy, and sometimes gray and brownish, and it's normal.
53:58
Like, it's constant, like really, really heavy, long.
54:04
Adam
Do you have to wear a pad everywhere?
54:06
Yeah.
54:08
Adam
A maxi pad or like a legal pad?
54:11
Caller
A maxi pad.
54:12
Adam
Okay.
54:13
Caller
One of those big, huge logs.
54:15
Adam
That's cool. That's cool.
54:16
Caller
And it got worse over a couple months.
54:22
Drew
You're not on any pills or anything like that?
54:24
Caller
No.
54:24
Adam
Should she go get herself checked out? Yeah.
54:26
Drew
Have you had a pelvic exam?
54:27
Caller
Huh?
54:28
Drew
Have you had a pelvic exam?
54:29
I haven't been to any doctors for that.
54:31
Drew
Okay. Why don't you get that checked out? It's about time.
54:34
Okay.
54:35
Drew
It's probably nothing. But there's no way to even speculate without somebody examining. Okay?
54:40
Adam
Alright. And that's going to stop, right? Maybe?
54:44
Drew
Not necessarily, no.
54:45
Adam
Oh, boy. What a way to go through life.
54:47
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Burdens of... Yeah.
54:49
Drew
It's that Ferrari again.
54:51
Adam
Yeah. They're all different, too.
54:52
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Drag wires.
54:53
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Not the new ones, either, like from the 70s. Very temperamental. Bad electrical. Bad wiring. Steve?
55:02
Caller
Yeah.
55:03
Adam
How's it going?
55:04
Caller
Good.
55:04
Adam
You're 22. What's up?
55:05
Caller
Yeah.
55:06
Caller
This is what I heard through a friend of mine.
55:08
Caller
He said that, and I've done this too with a female, but if you get the liquid banaka and put it on your tongue, put a drop on your tongue, and then go down on the girl, it seems like it's pleasurable for both parties and it kind of gets rid of any smell or the taste.
55:25
Adam
And I'll do you one step further. I'll take the little banaka bottle and put it right in the rectum.
55:34
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
A little French tickler.
55:35
Adam
Yeah. It's just small enough so they're not sure what's going in there.
55:41
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Is that a pinky? Is that?
55:43
Adam
Hey, Steve?
55:45
Caller
Yeah.
55:45
Adam
All right. So that's good?
55:46
Caller
Yeah. It kind of makes it more pleasurable for both parties.
55:49
Adam
They like that, huh?
55:51
Drew
Yeah.
55:51
Caller
That was just a reference back to the earlier calls.
55:54
Drew
How does it make it more pleasurable?
55:55
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Well, the tingling sensation.
55:58
Caller
Is it cold? Yeah.
55:59
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
They say it tingles and it's more possible to stay your tongue.
56:02
Drew
Would you like a bonaca poured on your penis?
56:05
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Well, yeah. But you know, it's a different tissue. You never know. It doesn't matter.
56:09
Caller
Yeah. I haven't had the reverse done, but...
56:12
Adam
And here's my whole...
56:13
Drew
More women just placating man. Oh, it's what you just do a session. That's so one of them. Please.
56:18
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah. I mean, I think it's the tongue that's really actually making it go yum.
56:22
Adam
You got to look at it this way. Yeah. What chick is going to say when the guy says, Hey, doesn't that feel neat?
56:27
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Which one's not going to nod her head and go, I mean, horseradish is going to be good at this point.
56:31
Adam
Right. And here's my worry about all that stuff. What if they really do start digging it and then it just, you know, becomes a part of your love making and now you're camping and you forgot your banaka.
56:45
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
There's always off.
56:47
Adam
All you got is some mosquito repellent. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you keep upping the ante, but then eventually you need all of that stuff. Yeah, it seems like a slippery slope to me.
57:02
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I'd go with the cream off before the spray. Oh, yeah, the cream lotion.
57:07
Adam
Debra, you're 19. What's up?
57:11
Caller
Well, I was diagnosed with HPV over the summer. And no big deal. They told me that it's pretty common.
57:20
Drew
Extremely common.
57:21
Adam
That's warts, everybody.
57:24
Caller
And they said that there's no complications this far, and I just go get a pap smear. Well, I started dating a guy pretty seriously. When I go back to school, and he's pretty nervous about contracting it. And I was wondering what we can do.
57:42
Drew
Condoms. Condoms. Condoms, and then you have the warts controlled, treated if you have any warts that are visible.
57:48
Adam
And if a guy gets it, it's not that big a deal, right?
57:51
Drew
It's nothing.
57:52
Adam
Yeah, but the big deal is he'll give it to a chick.
57:54
Drew
That's the big deal.
57:55
Adam
Okay, so she has the warts controlled, they use the condoms, and then what? That's it?
58:02
Drew
That's it.
58:02
Adam
Can he ever not use the condom? We always get into this.
58:06
Drew
There's evidence that the warts have burned themselves out after years, and so she may be not contagious five years from now.
58:12
Adam
So as long as it takes, like, let's say a supernova to burn itself out.
58:16
Drew
Right.
58:17
Adam
There's more to burn themselves out after millions of light years. That's right.
58:22
Caller
Also, I was just really concerned because we did some research on the internet, and we heard from different sources different things. Like, other sources said that it's still possible to contract it, although you're using condoms and stuff.
58:35
Drew
Yes, it is.
58:37
Caller
So it is a possibility.
58:38
Drew
Why is it?
58:38
Adam
Because you get other areas?
58:40
Drew
Yeah. Condoms are risk reduction measures. They're not perfect.
58:43
Adam
But is it because the condom may fail or is it because your balls are slapping against something?
58:49
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Both.
58:49
Adam
Oh, really?
58:50
Drew
Both.
58:51
Adam
That's why I always use one of those...
58:54
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Body condoms.
58:54
Adam
I use one of those donuts that the dog uses. Those lamp shade collars they put against... Of course, it's modified. Listen, I just stick the penis through there so I make no other contact for any other part of my body. And then what I'll do is I'll put the condom on first and then I'll pull the lamp shade collar over the penis after that.
59:13
Drew
Don't you put the lamp shade collar on first?
59:16
Adam
It adds a little width at the base. Yeah, if you pull the condom. Condom up over the base. Yeah, that's a good call.
59:23
Drew
One of the great things about having a website is I can refer people over to stuff like this. So at drdrew.com, if you go in, go to my office, go to the NIH, National Institute of Health, you enter into their information system. It's the entire, I mean, the most thorough Fort Knox information you could ever find. We have an STD section that you can go to.
59:42
Adam
Right.
59:42
Drew
So check it out.
59:43
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
If that doesn't work, there's the Fowl website, www.fowl.com, and you could ask Mary and Mary Prankster.
59:51
Adam
And she'll give you the info. Yeah, but when it comes to an STD, you don't want some stoner from a 17-year-old from Spokane putting in his two cents, right? You want some old guy with, I guess, C. Everett Coop type, right? And that's what you get, somebody with Appalachia on their jacket. All right, where the hell were we? Travis?
1:00:14
Caller
Yes.
1:00:15
Adam
You're 27?
1:00:16
Drew
27, yes.
1:00:17
Adam
What's up?
1:00:18
Caller
Well, I'm just wondering how much porn is too much porn.
1:00:21
Adam
Basically, I buy a lot of porn and I don't, I couldn't give you a dollar figure, but I'd figure about it.
1:00:29
Caller
You had a problem.
1:00:30
Caller
Not dollar.
1:00:30
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You sound like, I'm like, I know a lot of people that are like you.
1:00:36
Caller
It kind of becomes a drag, you know, the people around me.
1:00:39
Adam
How much is too much is your question?
1:00:41
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yeah, how much is too much porn?
1:00:42
Adam
It's about 40 or 50 pounds a week of porn. It's about, it's about an average. When you start getting 70, 70, 80 pounds, what do you mean the people around you are bothered?
1:00:52
Drew
What does that mean?
1:00:52
Caller
Well, you know, I mean, I live with a bunch of people, like a house of like eight people and you know, I mean, it takes up a lot of space and No, it doesn't.
1:01:03
Adam
It doesn't take up a lot of space. It does when you're buying as much as I am. Well, I mean, listen, what do you got the large print hustler that grandpa looks at?
1:01:12
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Yes. I mean, if it's working for him though, if it's working for you, maybe it maybe just got to be a little more private with it, I would say.
1:01:20
Caller
I just think it's more, you know, I mean, I don't know.
1:01:23
Adam
What form does your porn come in?
1:01:26
Caller
Well, you know, I like the four hour compilations, you know.
1:01:29
Adam
Right. So how much space is one of those VHS cassettes?
1:01:33
Caller
Well, I like to keep the box, you know.
1:01:34
Adam
Like to keep the box. I see.
1:01:36
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
But do you like, do you overpower the TV and not let somebody watch, you know, the History Channel because you need to watch porn?
1:01:44
Caller
Well, I don't know. I mean, I consider porn like a priority over, say, wrestling or something like that.
1:01:50
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Right. I think they're about the same thing.
1:01:52
Adam
That is a form of gay porn.
1:01:54
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I think they're the same thing. I hope you're not spanking at why these eight roommates are in the house.
1:01:58
Caller
Absolutely. Well, I mean, that becomes a problem, too.
1:02:02
Adam
I mean, you know, I'll listen.
1:02:04
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Does Kelly Coed ring a bell?
1:02:06
Caller
Yeah, Kelly Coed 3.
1:02:08
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Seen 4 and 5.
1:02:10
Caller
I haven't seen those.
1:02:11
Caller
But if you guys, you know, you guys are in a band, you should know.
1:02:14
Adam
This man knows his porn.
1:02:15
Drew
What kind of house is this? You live with all these people.
1:02:18
Caller
I live in a bus. Basically, I tour in a bus.
1:02:21
Adam
Are you in a band?
1:02:22
Caller
No, I'm just I'm just.
1:02:23
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Oh, wait, this guy's got to be in a band.
1:02:26
Caller
No, no, not in a band. No, I'm one of those tech people. But I was just curious.
1:02:30
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
You know, I figured you guys are. Oh, he's a crew guy. Of course he's in the porn. Isn't that mandatory?
1:02:36
Adam
All right. Well, hey, Travis.
1:02:37
Caller
Yes.
1:02:38
Adam
Why don't you limit yourself to say 400 porn movies when you hit the road?
1:02:43
Caller
OK, all right. OK.
1:02:45
Adam
All right.
1:02:45
Caller
I appreciate your advice.
1:02:46
Adam
All right. He's full of crap. But listen, here's the thing about porn. It's not like you they're not like moist towelettes. You don't use one and then toss it in the waste paper basket. You use one and then you move on. But eventually, you get back to that old one.
1:03:01
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
To the classic.
1:03:02
Adam
And that's like being with an old girlfriend or something. If it's been a while. It's nothing like digging up some of that old porn.
1:03:08
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
But I mean, is there a point like if you indulge in porn too much, you think it's unhealthy?
1:03:13
Drew
Oh, of course.
1:03:13
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Like how much? Is it really? What do you think?
1:03:15
Drew
Well, the point at which it becomes compulsive, and that is to say that he either has consequences from it, spends too much money, disrupts relationships, affects his work, or he can't stop, even though he wishes he could, and he's disturbed by that. And that's usually the most common scenario to set somebody up. It's usually sexual abuse and childhood that sets people up for that, or addiction that is not treated, and they start substituting the sex for their chemical, whatever it was.
1:03:45
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Which would probably be healthier because it comes in a magazine form more so than a chemical.
1:03:50
Drew
No, because you can get HIV and hepatitis C and all those good things, and they start acting out sexually in chaotic ways.
1:03:56
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Oh, right, if you're saying, if you manifest it in a physical way. But if he keeps it within porn, it's safe.
1:04:02
Drew
It's safe.
1:04:03
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
I mean, you know, not necessarily mentally healthy, but at least it's physically more healthy.
1:04:08
Drew
No, we got to bring up Jimmy Kimmel's chafing problem tomorrow night.
1:04:12
Adam
Oh, with the penis?
1:04:13
Drew
Yeah.
1:04:14
Adam
Alright, I'm sure he'll appreciate that.
1:04:16
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
He will save that for tomorrow's show.
1:04:17
Adam
Yes. Alright, we're going to take a little break. We're here with Jimmy's Chicken Shack. When we come back, we'll speak to Linda. She's 17. She's dating three guys. They all want to get serious, but she just wants to be casual. Linda?
1:04:34
Yeah?
1:04:34
Adam
You're dating three guys?
1:04:35
Yeah.
1:04:36
Adam
Are you having sex with all of them? No, no, I'm not.
1:04:39
We're just, like, messing around. We go out, you know, once in a while.
1:04:42
Adam
No sex. Yeah, no sex. What about oral sex?
1:04:49
Sometimes.
1:04:49
Adam
That's sex. Sometimes with all three of them?
1:04:52
Caller
Um, no.
1:04:53
Adam
Two of them?
1:04:54
Uh, one of them.
1:04:56
Adam
One of them.
1:04:56
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
That's your man.
1:04:57
Adam
There you go.
1:04:58
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
Hey, you figured it out.
1:04:59
I don't want to get serious with any of them.
1:05:01
Adam
Okay. Well, hang on. We'll figure out what's wrong with Linda because this is not typical 17-year-old girl behavior, but we'll get into what her dad did to her after this.
1:05:28
Caller
This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.
1:05:43
Adam
More Loveline with Jimmie, Shay, and Sipple, all from Jimmie's Chicken Shack.
1:05:48
Caller
Woo-hoo.
1:05:50
Adam
Bring your own stereos. And when we left off, we were talking about, talking to, or I did talk to actually, was it Linda?
1:06:02
Linda? Yeah. All right.
1:06:03
Adam
So you're 17.
1:06:04
Caller
Yeah.
1:06:04
Adam
You're dating three guys simultaneously, right? They all want to get a little more serious. You don't want to get that serious with any of the three of them. You do give up the oral sex to one of them.
1:06:18
Caller
Sometimes. Like hardly ever. Yeah.
1:06:21
Adam
Hardly ever, but sometimes. How old are these guys?
1:06:26
Caller
One of them is 17.
1:06:27
Adam
No, I want their combined age.
1:06:30
Caller
One of them is 17, the other one is 18, and then the other one is 21.
1:06:35
Adam
Okay. And why is it that you're, in your estimation, you're dating three guys that you're not particularly interested in?
1:06:42
Caller
Well, they're really cool, but it's just like, I don't know. I mean, there's some things that are really nice about them, but then there's other things that one of them leaves off and the other one gains.
1:06:54
Adam
All right. And where's your dad?
1:06:56
Caller
Um, he's here.
1:06:58
Drew
All right.
1:06:58
Adam
He's still together with mom?
1:07:00
Caller
Yeah.
1:07:01
Adam
Does he pay you enough attention?
1:07:04
Caller
Yeah, I guess.
1:07:05
Drew
Is he alcoholic?
1:07:06
Caller
No, used to be, but not anymore.
1:07:08
Drew
Well, there's no such thing as it used to be an alcoholic. Well, is he in recovery?
1:07:13
Caller
Um, he recovered, uh, he stopped drinking like five years ago.
1:07:17
Drew
Is he in recovery?
1:07:19
Caller
Um, he was, not anymore. He doesn't need it anymore. That's what they told him.
1:07:23
Drew
There's, no, they didn't tell him that.
1:07:25
Caller
Okay.
1:07:25
Adam
Well, they meaning the guys at the bar.
1:07:28
Drew
Right, the other guys at the bar. So dad's an alcoholic and did you have to deal with some heavy stuff growing up?
1:07:34
Caller
Uh-uh, no.
1:07:35
Drew
Yeah, but dad was an alcoholic.
1:07:36
Caller
I mean, he wasn't an alcoholic. He just used to drink, but not a lot.
1:07:41
Drew
Well, why did he have to get in recovery?
1:07:42
Adam
Why did he have to stop?
1:07:44
Caller
Uh, because he had a stroke and they caused it into the alcohol. I don't know.
1:07:50
Drew
Okay, that's pretty profound alcohol use, Linda.
1:07:52
Adam
How old's your dad?
1:07:53
Caller
Uh, 54.
1:07:56
Adam
Okay, so he had a stroke when he was in his late 40s?
1:08:00
Caller
Yeah.
1:08:01
Adam
And they said it was from drinking too much, although he wasn't really an alcoholic?
1:08:04
Caller
It was all gained up to the alcoholics. He wasn't really an alcoholic. I mean, he wouldn't come home and beat him with mom or anything like that.
1:08:11
Adam
Okay.
1:08:11
Drew
That's not how you define alcoholism.
1:08:13
Adam
But let's put it this way. From age zero to 12 or 13, you had an alcoholic dad.
1:08:21
Caller
Okay.
1:08:21
Adam
Is that true?
1:08:22
Caller
Uh, not really. I don't see him like that. I mean, he was really active in my life, like not as an alcoholic.
1:08:29
Adam
Okay.
1:08:30
Caller
He was just my dad.
1:08:30
Drew
You never saw him drink.
1:08:32
Caller
Yeah, but it wasn't that bad.
1:08:34
Drew
But Linda, Linda, not being that bad.
1:08:37
Caller
Uh-huh.
1:08:40
Drew
Yeah, that's right.
1:08:41
Caller
Okay.
1:08:42
Adam
Okay. So and what's your dad do for a living?
1:08:46
Caller
He, he's like a construction worker. Oh boy.
1:08:51
Adam
That's trouble. Drywall or framing, foundation?
1:08:54
Caller
Um, I'm not sure. I think it's the frame or...
1:08:57
Adam
Framing.
1:08:57
Caller
Yeah.
1:08:58
Adam
Oh, that's the lowest of the low. Only lower are the tin knockers and the sheet rockers in the, in the blue collar world. You understand? And welders maybe lower, but the framing. I've hung around with a lot of framers as they're, they're all alcoholics. You can't, you can't get into the union unless you're an alcoholic. It's right there on the test.
1:09:21
Caller
You understand?
1:09:23
Adam
Yeah, you must be. And if there's a box, you check off. And if you check no, I say a lot of guys don't know that alcohol is not toss your ass right out of the union.
1:09:31
Caller
All right.
1:09:31
Adam
So Linda, and your mom, she's all right?
1:09:35
Caller
Yeah. They're like perfect, basically.
1:09:38
Adam
Everything's perfect.
1:09:39
Drew
You are the Brady Bunch, except for the stroke in his 40s from excess alcohol use.
1:09:43
Caller
Yeah.
1:09:45
Drew
Linda, that's massive.
1:09:47
Adam
Well, Linda's in a little denial.
1:09:48
Drew
A little denial. My God.
1:09:49
Adam
Here's our... Drew had a suspicion that your father may have been an alcoholic, and it's because you're sort of acting like the child of one here. Okay. You're dating three guys. You're not particularly interested in any of the three guys, which says to us that you're scared to get close. You don't want to have a real relationship. Intimacy scares you a little bit. So what you do is you just sort of... You get three balls in the air at the same time, and you don't have to... pardon the pun. You don't have to think about it that way. You don't have to actually focus on one person.
1:10:26
Caller
Well, I always thought it was because I was molested when I was little.
1:10:29
Drew
Okay.
1:10:30
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
That was the other thing.
1:10:31
Adam
Who molested you?
1:10:33
Caller
My ex-brother-in-law.
1:10:36
Adam
Ex-brother-in-law. Okay. So this is who? Your mom's side? My dad's side. My house is where?
1:10:44
Caller
My sister's husband's house.
1:10:46
Drew
Sister's husband.
1:10:47
Adam
Sister's husband. Oh, and now here's another question. What's up with sister?
1:10:52
Drew
Yeah, what's up with your sister that she married a child abuser?
1:10:54
Caller
Oh, well.
1:10:55
Drew
Who abused her?
1:10:58
Caller
No one.
1:10:59
Adam
Women don't magically hook up with guys that molest their younger sister.
1:11:04
Caller
Well, because they were together for, I believe it was five years into the marriage.
1:11:12
Adam
Uh-huh. Okay. Well, that's different. Okay. That means nothing. But, Linda, how old's your sister?
1:11:19
Caller
Oh, 32.
1:11:21
Adam
Okay. All right. So she probably saw a little more alcoholism than you did.
1:11:26
Caller
Oh, yeah.
1:11:27
Adam
Because your dad had the stroke and stopped boozing. Okay. Linda, you seem to be in a whole lot of denial here.
1:11:34
Drew
About a whole lot of things.
1:11:35
Caller
Okay.
1:11:36
Adam
You really are. I mean, your dad was an alcoholic, but not really. This is not... You didn't drink that much. He was all right, but he had the stroke. And your sister's, you know, 15 years older than you are.
1:11:46
Drew
Except for the sexual abuser. Oh, by the way, I was sexually abused. And maybe that's why I'm acting out now.
1:11:51
Adam
Okay.
1:11:52
Drew
There you go.
1:11:52
Adam
You got to get a little therapy. Don't fix it via the guys.
1:11:56
Drew
No.
1:11:57
Adam
All right?
1:11:57
Drew
She's going to get abused.
1:11:59
Adam
Absolutely. And listen, older sisters, when they marry a guy who comes back around and screws with their sister, and how old was she at the time? Linda, how old were you when this guy molested you? Seven. Seven. Okay. This is a criminal. You understand? This is a dangerous guy, and something's up with your sister's satellite dish that she would be attracted to a guy who would actually hit on a seven-year-old, her sister no less. So there's a lot of stuff going around, but don't cure it through dating guys. Jessica. Oh, no, no, no lightning round. I am too depressed. Jessica, you're 26. Yes. We'll see if we can burn through some calls here. Boyfriend is having trouble getting interaction. Shut up. What's the deal? Boyfriend's having trouble getting interaction.
1:12:50
Caller
I just want to know if that's normal.
1:12:52
Adam
No. How old is he? 27. Drugs?
1:12:57
Caller
No.
1:12:57
Drew
Medication?
1:12:59
Caller
No.
1:12:59
Caller
Anti-depressants? No.
1:13:01
Adam
Have him see a doctor.
1:13:03
Caller
Well, he'll get up if I stimulate him.
1:13:06
Adam
Hello? I don't have a boner now.
1:13:11
Caller
Yeah.
1:13:11
Adam
The point is you have a very soothing voice, but that ain't enough to do it. Kyle?
1:13:17
Drew
No. We got to go to brunch.
1:13:18
Adam
Shut up. You're 13. You got a question for Jimmy's Chicken Shack? Quick. Okay.
1:13:26
Caller
How do you band get started?
1:13:27
Caller
Because I'm in a band. I just want to know how you got big.
1:13:30
Adam
You got 30 seconds. Go.
1:13:31
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
We got big. How did we get big? I don't know. We played every toilet and we could live with $5 a week.
1:13:39
Adam
No magical answer. And we were losers.
1:13:40
Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
That was it. Losers. Yeah. We were desperate losers. We have nothing better to do. That's it, basically. That's the ingredient.
1:13:47
Adam
Just work hard.
1:13:48
Caller
We couldn't throw a football.
1:13:50
Adam
Same story. All right. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back to ramp up and ramp down after this.
1:13:57
Caller
Loveline's phone number is 1191. We'll be right back.