Episode 1000754887432

3:04 Jimmy Kimmel It's almost time. We got 40 seconds before Loveline's set to pop here. It's go time in a mere 30 seconds. Time to focus, we've got 20. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.

3:48 Voiceover Loveline, Loveline, Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline Megan Tate, sexually oriented content, listener discretion advised.

3:55 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline.

3:58 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

4:04 Voiceover Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. He also may have carpal tunnel syndrome because he just slopped his coffee all over the console. Anderson, turn that down, please. Thank you. Can't think straight. Our guest tonight is Pat O'Brien, of course, from Access Hollywood, NBC, 730 in most places and the great Jimmy Kimmel from Triumph and Return. Yes. The Man Show, of course, on Comedy Central as well as Win Benstein's Money, also on Comedy Central.

4:48 Pat O’Brien You want to know what's funny?

4:50 Pat O’Brien I do actually.

4:52 Pat O’Brien Adam has written my name down on a piece of paper.

4:54 Pat O’Brien I know.

4:55 Drew Is that funny?

4:56 Pat O’Brien Adam, it's me, you asshole.

4:59 Pat O’Brien Look, Jimmy, is that one eye?

5:01 Drew It's Man Show Benstein's Money. He's got to remind himself.

5:05 Pat O’Brien I'm writing it down too. Is it Jimmy like Jimi Hendrix?

5:08 Pat O’Brien No, no, two M's and a Y.

5:10 Pat O’Brien You know what the frightening thing is, is that Jimmy and I are friends.

5:13 Drew Who is that other voice, Adam, please?

5:14 Adam That is Pat O'Brien. Jimmy, by the way, said on the ride in, because we carpooled, he said, Pat's going to wish he didn't come in about 10 minutes into the show.

5:24 Pat O’Brien I said eight minutes.

5:25 Adam I said, Jimmy, no, Pat's going to wish you didn't come in about eight minutes into the show. And he said, well, no, they'll wish he didn't come in either. I said, well, it's just because you're here.

5:34 Pat O’Brien Well, I've done the show before, a long, long time.

5:37 Drew Yeah, you weren't the host, Adam, co-host.

5:38 Adam Oh, wow.

5:41 Pat O’Brien That's a cheap shot.

5:41 Pat O’Brien Doc and I go back a little bit.

5:42 Drew Started this a little bit, but that's what went.

5:44 Pat O’Brien Yeah, well, Pat is a friend of mine. I thought I'd like to come on since the new season of The Man Show is debuting Wednesday nights, tomorrow night, if you're on the West Coast, and well, tonight, if you're on the East Coast, and I wanted to plug that, of course, but Pat and I also send each other filthy emails from time to time, like every night, and it would be all right if we came on together.

6:06 Adam No, that's good.

6:07 Pat O’Brien I think you called me a bitch in your last interview.

6:08 Pat O’Brien Yeah, well, that was light compared to most of the emails.

6:13 Adam And Jimmy, not that it... well, it does serve me. Which Man Show episode? It's a new episode tomorrow night. What's in that episode? Do you remember?

6:23 Pat O’Brien That's a real good question. That's one we should probably...

6:25 Drew Wait a minute. Is his mic off?

6:26 Adam Now it's going again.

6:27 Drew No.

6:28 Adam Nothing works correctly around here. Westwood II, as we like to call it.

6:32 Drew How's that?

6:33 Pat O’Brien I think I know which episode it is.

6:34 Drew Oh, you do?

6:35 Pat O’Brien It's the one where you're... one of the games is...

6:37 Drew The Balloon.

6:38 Pat O’Brien The Balloon game. Oh, hey, that's right.

6:41 Pat O’Brien That's right. The Manovations.

6:44 Pat O’Brien I saw a couple of great promos.

6:46 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's the Manovations segment. And, Drew, you got a big kick out of the Clowns peeing into the Clown's mouth at the urinal.

6:52 Pat O’Brien This is very funny.

6:52 Drew This is very funny.

6:53 Pat O’Brien Well, thank God Pat knows what's going on in the mansion.

6:55 Drew If the Fox hadn't been so goddamn distracting, it would have been just a triumph.

6:59 Pat O’Brien The Fox, yeah. The Fox is not a good actor. The Fox is our beer-drinking companion.

7:05 Adam Yeah, Joe Green is a better actor. Mean Joe Green, that is, than the Fox. But Mean Joe Green got paid to sack quarterbacks, and the Fox gets paid to sack Steins of Beer, and they both do it better than anyone.

7:17 Pat O’Brien You know what? The Coca-Cola can in the Joe Green ad was a better actor.

7:23 Pat O’Brien Absolutely. There is no question about it.

7:25 Adam Pat, by the way, who never seems to sit still for a second, has a web page that will be out November 15th. It is called sportspage.com, and anyone who has followed Pat's career from the days back in CBS knows he is primarily a sports guy. He just sold out, took the bread, and he is doing a nightly show. I have to say, though, about that Access Hollywood, I do enjoy it. I really do. I don't feel good about myself when I watch it, but I watch it anyway.

7:56 Pat O’Brien How do you think we feel? It is a good show, actually, for those kinds of shows. It is the best one up.

8:03 Pat O’Brien I got to watch Pat on my way to New York on United Airlines and on my way back from New York on United Airlines. How often do you shoot those airline versions of Access Hollywood?

8:13 Pat O’Brien I think we do two a month, so they are seemingly current.

8:17 Pat O’Brien Who takes a one-way flight? How often do you take a one-way flight?

8:20 Pat O’Brien We do one for the East Coast and one for the West Coast. Yeah.

8:23 Pat O’Brien Well, I saw the same one twice. I don't know what was going on.

8:27 Pat O’Brien Were you drinking the little mini bottles of Scotch before you got on the plane? There's two different versions.

8:31 Pat O’Brien Bloody Mary's, actually.

8:32 Pat O’Brien I'll tell you what it is. It is the same suit twice.

8:34 Adam It is. I'm with you, though. My plan is to try to take in, take as big a bite out of the first class ticket as I possibly can, and that means consuming the most alcohol possible. I'm trying to work something out with Drew, where I actually have a Bloody Mary in my hand, taking it in orally, and then I rectally take in, let's say, a couple of jiggers of vodka. Is that possible, Drew?

9:00 Drew We're working out the seat position.

9:02 Pat O’Brien Let me tell you a quick plane story if I could. Angelina Jolie, and this is a Good Access Hollywood Tip for you here, Pat. Angelina Jolie, you know that really hot looking actress? You guys know her, Drew, you don't know anything.

9:12 Adam I know she is.

9:14 Pat O’Brien She's an actress.

9:15 Pat O’Brien Very hot now.

9:16 Pat O’Brien She was sitting in front of me, and she fell asleep about halfway through the flight, and she slept when the plane landed, she was still asleep, everyone was getting off the plane, she was still sleeping, and the fight crew was very nervous, and they said, we better go get somebody to get her off the plane, and they sent for somebody to come take her off the plane. Drugs, who knows.

9:42 Pat O’Brien There's nothing better than sleeping tarmac to tarmac.

9:44 Drew I have a plane story. I had a plane, there was a doctor in the house call, and the guy in the back is seizing, and I go, okay, let's go, give me the equipment, and the guy in the back is seizing, and guess what, planes don't carry medical equipment. They do now, actually. Americans talk about having a defibrillator, but still no medicine, and it's shocking. I mean, there's no way to sustain a life on a damn plane.

10:08 Pat O’Brien So what happened?

10:09 Drew I just kept his airway going and stuff, and got him on the ground. We went right down on the ground.

10:13 Adam The guy died, and they dumped the body over you.

10:15 Drew It was not one of the situations where it made a difference, but it could have been, and I thought to myself, I'm tearing open the carts opening, everything I possibly can. There's Benadryl, and there's lepinephrine, nothing.

10:26 Pat O’Brien You know, it puts you in another frame of mind. I've been in one plane where a guy died, and they just put a blanket over his head while we waited to land in Denver, and it does put you in a different frame of mind knowing that you're in the same cabin with a corpse.

10:41 Pat O’Brien Yeah, Alan Funt was that man.

10:44 Drew What happened? What happened?

10:46 Pat O’Brien Had a heart attack.

10:46 Drew Nobody tried to resist him?

10:48 Pat O’Brien Well, he was a coach and he was gone. I've been on planes where a couple was so drunk, and I was with my son, and the guy was screaming obscenities and just making a complete fool out of himself. And finally, I turned to him and I said, can you tone it down a little bit here? I got a kid here. And he went berserk. The captain came out, told him to shut up. They cut him off. They were drinking Baileys when they got on. So it's a problem. Finally, he said to the captain, I can't even say the words here. He said, just about the worst thing you can say to a man. And the captain said, you're going to jail. And they landed the plane immediately. And about 15 cops got on and took him out. His kids were in coach and they didn't even tell his kids. He said, I got to tell my kids.

11:28 And they dragged him out.

11:30 Pat O’Brien It's scary up there. But now they're like martial law up there.

11:33 Pat O’Brien Yeah, they're very mean up there now.

11:35 Adam Some guy grabs a stewardess's ass and we got to all turn around and land again. My thing is just put a roll of goddamn duct tape on that plane in case there's trouble.

11:44 Pat O’Brien Or keep Jimmy off the flight.

11:45 Pat O’Brien Yeah, that's right.

11:47 Adam All right. We'll go to the phones and see what we can do with these calls. Teresa, you're 25. What's up?

11:54 Caller My boyfriend's been using my online service. And I found out he's been lying to me about what he goes on and sees. And there's a lot of porn.

12:06 Drew How do you know that?

12:08 Caller Because there's internet files that you can go check.

12:11 So you went back to the phone.

12:12 Drew So what made you do that?

12:15 Caller Because he lied to me about being here. He told me he had just walked in the door. And I had called. I knew he was online.

12:24 Drew Had you guys had arguments before about him looking at pornography?

12:27 Caller No, no, never.

12:28 Drew Not about online, but just pornography in general?

12:29 Caller Yes.

12:30 Drew You've been discussing that and arguing about that before? No, no.

12:33 Caller We never argue about it. We don't even talk about it.

12:35 Drew Because you said, absolutely, I can't accept any of this behavior, right?

12:38 Caller No. No, I don't.

12:39 Pat O’Brien But he can sense probably from your attitude that you don't like it, you don't approve of it.

12:45 Caller No. We've got a very open relationship. We can even go to go to those shops and rent a porno once in a while.

12:51 Pat O’Brien Maybe he's just embarrassed. I mean, he's probably smacking it.

12:54 Drew But it's that he's doing it alone that bothers you, huh?

12:56 Caller Yeah. He's doing it alone.

12:59 Drew She wants to do it with him.

13:00 Caller No, no, no.

13:01 Adam She doesn't want to do it with him.

13:02 Pat O’Brien She just doesn't want him doing it.

13:03 Caller He's not telling me that.

13:04 Drew All right.

13:05 What does he got to tell you?

13:06 Pat O’Brien It's embarrassing.

13:07 Pat O’Brien What kind of sites are they?

13:08 Adam I got a phone.

13:09 Pat O’Brien drdrew.com.

13:10 Adam I got to get on the horn every time I'm going to jack off. Hey, Dad, put me on speakerphone. I'm going to be jacking off about 20 minutes. Call grandma and grandpa and a couple ex-girlfriends and the priest and my Jim Cogs, all right?

13:22 Pat O’Brien Let me tell you, this is-

13:22 Pat O’Brien Hey, grandpa's online, by the way.

13:24 Pat O’Brien There's some great pictures of Drew naked on that drdrew.com. That one where you all shaved.

13:29 Drew Traffic just went up.

13:30 Adam Check it out.

13:32 Pat O’Brien H-O-T-T hot.

13:33 Adam Teresa, here's the thing, and we deal with this from time to time. On one side of your mouth, you're saying, hey, it's cool, I don't care, we can rent porn together. On the other side of your mouth, you're saying, I'm really pissed off because he looked at porn on the internet.

13:48 Caller No, I'm not pissed off. I'm just wondering why he didn't let me know or he's not. The thing is, he's keeping it from me. He's not even telling me that he's online.

13:58 Adam Okay, it's a personal thing. Listen, Teresa, you may not know it because you hear your own voice ring inside your head on a daily basis, but to us novices, you're very annoying. You really are and I wouldn't tell you anything if I was shacked up with you or dating you. I'd be scared the annoying voice would come out again.

14:19 Drew It's not annoying, it's sort of...

14:21 Adam Accusatory.

14:22 Pat O’Brien Motherly and...

14:23 Adam And uptight.

14:23 Drew It's really aggressive. And you've got to give him... He's not doing anything out of the ordinary for a male in his twenties.

14:30 Caller Doing this a lot all the time is okay?

14:32 Pat O’Brien It's fine with me. I mean, I do it all the time.

14:35 Adam How often is it a lot?

14:36 Caller I mean, it's like teen sex and it's like, you know, tiny Asian porn and, you know, it's just that stuff is regular, it's normal.

14:44 Adam Well, if he's curious, I don't know how involved in the... Nothing wrong with the Asian porn, by the way, but the underage stuff, as long as it's portrayed by 18-year-olds. They're all cops.

14:55 Pat O’Brien They're not underage.

14:57 Caller It's like fairly legal stuff.

14:58 Adam Okay. Hey, Teresa, here's... I bet if you stop putting a full court press on the guy and just give him a little air to breathe, it'll work itself out. Okay? Let him do his thing. He's not cheating on you, right?

15:13 Well, as far as I know, he's not cheating.

15:14 Pat O’Brien Teresa, is he a sports fan?

15:17 He likes sports.

15:18 Pat O’Brien sportspage.com.

15:20 Adam November 15th.

15:21 Pat O’Brien Where you'll see Patnaggin. And swab that mouse off every once in a while.

15:25 Adam Let him masturbate to Pat. That's a healthy alternative. Liz?

15:31 Hi.

15:32 Adam You're 20.

15:32 Caller Yes.

15:33 Adam What is up?

15:35 Caller I started taking...

15:35 Adam Oh, hold on a second. Let me say one thing about women. And it always drives me nuts. They love to harp on one thing and then say, that's not the reason they're pissed. It's like, I don't care that you bang my sister. I don't care that you rate my grandmother. It's that you lied about it.

15:51 Drew We had something on the TV show.

15:53 Adam They always do that. They won't just admit they're pissed about whatever it is they're pissed about.

15:58 Drew Oh, all I know it was, my husband, he slapped me. I'm not up for that. I can't have any of that. And now we're back together and I've had four other boyfriends who slapped me, but I'm not into that.

16:08 Adam It's bizarre.

16:10 Pat O’Brien It's like when a guy gets fired, like they did it over the phone. They didn't have the decency to fire me in person. They could watch you cry and grovel in front of them.

16:24 Adam Liz, you're 20. What's up?

16:27 Caller Okay, I started taking Paxil about a month ago. And ever since I started taking it, I have not been able to orgasm. Is there any relation with the drug?

16:36 Drew Yeah, that is one of the most common and most frequently complained of side effects of that class of medicine called the serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, Luvox, maybe less so...

16:50 Pat O’Brien No Jack.

16:51 Drew Yeah, they all affect all stages or all phases of the sexual functioning, including libido and arousal and orgasmic function.

16:59 Caller Is there anything I could do about it besides getting off the medicine?

17:03 Drew Well, there are three medicines that don't do that, Welbutrin, Remeron, and Serotonin.

17:08 Adam Why don't they just offer those up first?

17:11 Drew Well, Paxil, for instance, is a little different. It's for panic, it's for social phobia, it has a little different indication than, say, Welbutrin, which tends to sometimes make panic worse. But the fact is, adding Welbutrin to Paxil sometimes works. Some people are experimenting with, and this is not an indication, but people are suggesting this might be useful, is adding Viagra. But, by and large, the most important thing, Liz, is that you talk to your doctor about this stuff, and you don't accept these side effects as something you just have to live with. Because it's going to affect your ability to get over the depression if you can't sort of establish an intimate connection with another person.

17:45 Adam Do you have a boyfriend, Liz?

17:47 Caller Oh, yeah. And that's kind of what's upsetting. I mean, we have sex just about every other day, and now it's like nothing, and I just don't even feel the need for it.

17:55 Adam At least he's got an excuse now.

17:56 Pat O’Brien Yeah, exactly. This is great news for him.

17:58 Drew But listen to this. Women get this very strange reaction of Paxil and Prozac and whatnot, where they feel like completely shut down sexually. Is that right, Liz?

18:08 Caller Oh, yeah.

18:08 Drew Definitely. If you even look at somebody kissing?

18:11 Caller Well, no. I mean, I still have sex with them, but it's just OK, but listen.

18:15 Drew It can get bad where women tend to experience this point where if they even look at somebody kissing, it's like, ooh, what are they doing? It doesn't even make sense.

18:22 Adam I always fast forward through the kissing part, too.

18:24 Drew That already bothers me. Low serotonin levels.

18:29 Adam Him decorating her chest and face with semen is perfectly natural and part of a loving relationship for me. But when I see him making out, that's where it crosses the line for me. That's very painful. Alicia?

18:45 Pat O’Brien Is there a bigger issue that you're 20 and you're on Paxil? I mean, is that?

18:49 Drew Let's get, you want to talk back to me?

18:50 Adam All right. Liz, what's going on in your life that you're on the Paxil?

18:56 Caller Actually, it's anxiety disorder.

18:59 Drew That's one of the more, actually one of the more benign treatments for generalized anxiety. And know, Liz, that talk therapy, whatnot, can really do a lot for generalized anxiety.

19:09 Caller Okay, yeah, I've been going to a counselor for it, yeah.

19:12 Drew That can sort of get rid of it more permanently, potentially.

19:15 Pat O’Brien You can also get rid of your boyfriend, though.

19:17 Adam Alicia.

19:18 Pat O’Brien I don't know what I'm talking.

19:20 Adam You're 19.

19:21 Drew Jimmy's a fan of the talk in psychology, I know.

19:24 Pat O’Brien That's right.

19:25 Drew Jimmy, he's very stewed, in tune with these issues.

19:28 Adam Alicia.

19:28 Pat O’Brien I'm very therapeutic.

19:30 Adam You're 19. What's up?

19:33 Caller I just had a question. I haven't spoken to my full, okay. My father's been a heroin addict for like 30 years. Didn't talk to him for like nine years. Just got ahold of him like three months ago. I've seen him a few times.

19:46 Drew Why did you get ahold of him?

19:49 Caller Because I was kind of curious and I remember him from when I was a little girl and I don't know. I just, I want to know him.

19:55 Drew Okay. Anything you're recovering now?

19:58 Caller Yeah, he's been clean for three months. Actually, he got ahold of us, me and my sister.

20:03 Adam We want to borrow some money, heroin money.

20:05 Drew Is this his first time in recovery?

20:07 Caller No.

20:08 Drew This is one of many attempts, right?

20:09 Caller Yeah. From when I gather, like I said, I haven't spoken to him in nine years. But he wants me to move with him.

20:17 Drew No, no, no, no, no.

20:18 Caller No?

20:19 Drew No. Look, he's three months in recovery. He's not supposed to do anything and he's making a major change.

20:23 Adam He wants you to move in with him or for you two to move somewhere?

20:28 Caller Well, he travels with his job and he doesn't really have an actual home, but he wants to get a place, but he wants me to stay with him.

20:39 Adam That sounds like a good life for you. Hit the road with the circus junkie.

20:43 Pat O’Brien Where's mom?

20:44 Caller Mom's married. I have stepped out since I was three.

20:50 Adam You don't like him much?

20:52 Caller No, I love him. I love him to death. He's taught me everything. He's my values, my morals. I feel kind of bad because I feel like my father, my real father, his whole family has pretty much just given up on him.

21:03 Adam Yeah, but the reason they gave up on him is because he's a junkie and it's been 30 years now and he's abandoned the family for his drug of choice. Also, what a slap in the face to the allegedly good stepdad who tried to do the right thing. He's been there since he was three years old.

21:20 Caller I talked to him about it before anything ever happened.

21:23 Drew Alright, here are the rules. Okay, you ready?

21:26 Adam My parents were relatively decent to me and I don't want to talk to them. I don't understand this compulsion of going after the junkie dad.

21:33 Pat O’Brien You know what, I had a stepdad from age three, but your dad is your dad no matter what he's done or what he is. I think you're always kind of long for your real dad.

21:41 Adam And it was very stigmatized back then in the 20s with the...

21:46 Pat O’Brien Did you find him?

21:48 Pat O’Brien I'm sorry?

21:49 Pat O’Brien I was talking to Pat.

21:50 Pat O’Brien No, I had both of them.

21:51 Pat O’Brien Oh, you got both of them now. Oh, that's too good. I can't even figure out what to get my father on his birthday. One father, forget two.

21:59 Adam Hey, Alicia, why don't you give him another six months or year to sort of make sure he's well on the road to recovery before you do anything hasty?

22:09 Caller Yeah, the thing is, he's not even in like NA or anything.

22:14 Drew Okay, forget it.

22:14 Pat O’Brien That's trouble.

22:15 Drew Alicia, get the hell away. He's using.

22:16 Adam And whatever it is...

22:18 Drew He's using something to do with a pod, something.

22:20 Adam Whatever that's empty in you that you think is going to be filled by this gentleman, it's not going to leave you with a satisfying taste in your mouth. You're not going to get anything out of this. People have these great expectations. Where are you going, Drew?

22:32 Drew I got to talk to her one more second.

22:34 Pat O’Brien I got to give her the rules.

22:36 Drew I got to talk to her. Alicia, a 30 year junkie never, there's very few things in medicine you can say never to, never just stops using drugs without treatment, okay? Alright, never. So he's using something. What's he using, pot, cocaine?

22:48 Caller Heroin.

22:49 Drew Heroin, he's still using heroin now?

22:51 Caller Yeah.

22:51 Adam He is?

22:52 Caller I don't know. Well, he says he hasn't.

22:54 Drew Well, he's using something then to deal with it.

22:56 Caller Well, I know he smokes pot.

22:57 Drew Alright, well that's what he's doing. He's escalated his pot use. Here's the rules for you to be involved in his life. A, he's gotta be in recovery, and he's gonna have to stay somewhere where he's in like a recovery house for a while. B, you've gotta be in Al-Anon. And C, any evidence of drug use, you're out again. And I mean, out completely. This will drag you down like you, this will drag you into a quagmire you won't believe.

23:20 Pat O’Brien And the same rules go for Pat, too, right?

23:22 Adam And Tetherball.

23:22 Drew Well, that's Jimmy and Pat, yeah.

23:24 Adam Alright, no Ropies.

23:26 Pat O’Brien My dad is addicted to KO pectate for the last 35 years. The Kimmel bowels are terrible.

23:30 Pat O’Brien Ropies are illegal on some playgrounds.

23:32 Adam Jimmy's, you remember the Ropies?

23:34 Pat O’Brien Yeah, you put your hand up.

23:36 Adam Yeah, you're playing tetherball. It should be an Olympic sport. Yeah. Playing tetherball and in order not to let the ball get wrapped all the way around the pole, you just stick your arm up and grab the rope. Instead of concentrating on hitting the ball.

23:48 Pat O’Brien How about hitting the ball low and then it goes up around the other guy's head and it comes back low. Right. And then you got to hit it again. That's a sport.

23:55 Pat O’Brien Has anyone older than like 14 ever played tetherball?

23:58 Drew Yeah. Where did that come from?

23:59 Pat O’Brien Sure. It's on some playgrounds.

24:00 Pat O’Brien Yeah?

24:00 Adam Yeah, but nobody has...

24:01 Pat O’Brien That's how those tetherball callers call in, huh?

24:04 Adam Once you leave grade school, once you leave the sixth grade, you'll never see another tetherball again. No, you don't see it. As a matter of fact, if you stood in front of it, you wouldn't see it. It would look like a maypole.

24:14 Pat O’Brien Four square, too.

24:15 Drew Yeah, they...

24:16 Adam You replace the tetherball pole with the pole at the strip joint. That's really the life there.

24:21 Pat O’Brien Tetherball was my Paxil.

24:23 Drew You may not be aware of this, but my kids are first graded. Most playgrounds, there's a big sign, tetherball pole, a big red slash through with a red circle around it.

24:31 Adam Meaning?

24:32 Drew No tetherball.

24:33 Adam No tetherball. Wow.

24:34 Pat O’Brien Well, don't you just take down the pole and that solves the problem?

24:39 Adam I think he was kidding. And let me just say, for those of you who think that tetherball is a swing, it is not. That thing breaks. I've seen kids paralyzed on that thing, or at least that's what Mr. Backus told me in the fifth grade. Jenny, you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to do a documentary where we rounded up all the kids that were paralyzed from swinging on the tetherball pole, all the kids that got their hair caught in the drill press at shop class, all these alleged kids that I don't believe ever really existed. I'd like to find these kids. I'd like to get to ruse.

25:11 Pat O’Brien How about the kids who were beat up by shop class kids?

25:14 Pat O’Brien Yeah, right. How about the kids whose face froze when the sun passed over?

25:19 Adam Oh, when they were looking, or who were blinded by the eclipse because they didn't look through the hole in the cardboard.

25:24 Pat O’Brien Oh, his face froze. He made a face and it froze. Like you, Jimmy.

25:28 Pat O’Brien Yeah.

25:29 Adam Jenny? Oh, wait a minute. Oh, we're trying, we're going to break, right, Drew? That's part of my new professional scheme.

25:34 Drew You're too excited here with your friends here, Adam. You're losing it.

25:36 Adam I know. All right, I'm going to get it back together, though. We have Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel.

25:42 Kimmel, suck.

25:43 Adam From The Man Show and, of course, Access Hollywood, they will be here when we come back.

25:48 Caller Loveline, be right back in a minute.

26:17 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1 Anderson. Please turn that junk down. Thank you. I don't know what you're on tonight.

26:30 Drew Stop packing.

26:30 Adam Spike Jones will be in here tomorrow night from Being John Malkovich, which is just getting raves. Just raves, I saw.

26:37 Pat O’Brien Good ones, too. Not the raves like we get.

26:39 Adam Yeah, like a man show. Hey, that sucks!

26:42 Pat O’Brien What the hell is this crap?

26:45 Adam No, it's good, good positive raves. I saw, let's see, Siskel. Wait a minute, Ebert.

26:52 Pat O’Brien You saw the one that was illegal.

26:53 Adam Ebert and the 700-pound bearded redhead guy, who he has this rotating hose thing.

27:02 Pat O’Brien Oh, it's still rotating, huh?

27:03 Adam Well, this guy I've seen on before, but he's back now. Anyway, it looks like in The Simpsons, the guy who runs the comic book store, the Dungeons and Dragons guy.

27:15 Pat O’Brien How happy must Ebert be to have a guy on there fatter than him?

27:19 Adam I swear to God.

27:20 Pat O’Brien And now he's not the fat guy from that show.

27:23 Adam He looked like Dorff next to this load. But the point is, is that they both just completely raved about being John Malkovich. The same as just the most innovative comedy they'd seen in years.

27:34 Pat O’Brien I predict that the man show will actually have Roger Ebert as a guest at some point.

27:39 Adam It's possible. Jimmy, what do you think?

27:42 Pat O’Brien No, probably not.

27:44 Pat O’Brien I think once you go mainstream, you apparently are.

27:47 Pat O’Brien That's us.

27:48 Adam Speaking of mainstream, Pat O'Brien, Access Hollywood, NBC, 730 or thereabouts. It varies from zone to zone. And sportspage.com, which will be launched November 5th.

28:01 Pat O’Brien 15th.

28:02 Adam I'm sorry. Jenny.

28:06 Pat O’Brien I'd like to come into this room.

28:09 Adam It's tough. I'm used to stoned rock bands who won't. You can call them by a different name. And they just sit there. Jenny.

28:18 Hi.

28:18 Adam You're 27. What's up?

28:20 Caller Hey. Well, I kind of need you guys' opinion. I just found out recently that I have endometriosis. And so I've been going through a lot of pain. I've been dating the same guy for the last six months or so. So he's older than me. And so we've been having a really good sex life. We only see each other on the weekends and we have a great sex life. But recently, because I've been in so much pain, he's really kind of backed off sexually. And how old is he? He's 46.

29:00 Pat O’Brien What is this endometriosis?

29:02 Drew It's actually what we call inspecated endometrium.

29:05 Pat O’Brien Oh, okay.

29:06 Drew It's the lining of the uterus, the stuff that comes out during the period goes back up into the abdomen and forms little areas of tissue that actually sort of menstruate and they irritate the hell out of the lining of the pelvis.

29:18 Caller Yeah, it's not like the funnest thing I've ever done.

29:21 Adam But it's all taken care of, right?

29:23 Caller Well, no. Well, I just had surgery on it yesterday, so I'm feeling better in comparison to how I had been feeling.

29:33 Adam But it's all taken care of, right?

29:35 Drew It's a chronic thing. It's better.

29:36 You have to keep working on it?

29:37 Drew Yeah, keep working on it. And at her age, it begins to be a fertility issue, too.

29:41 Pat O’Brien Well, you've got to use tampoons, too. You've got to have those, you know, if you don't have that.

29:46 Drew What are you talking about?

29:47 Pat O’Brien That's Jimmy's voice.

29:48 Drew What the hell was that?

29:49 I know a lot about women's health.

29:51 Pat O’Brien Can you meditate this?

29:53 Pat O’Brien I didn't even know why the period happens until you just explained it.

29:56 Adam It's God punishing the gals.

29:58 Pat O’Brien Jenny is punishing us.

29:59 Pat O’Brien Jimmy, man.

30:00 Adam Jenny, all right, so your question is?

30:03 Caller My question is, anyway, he's been backing off the whole sex thing and over the weekend, I just really, I knew that I was going to be having the surgery and that I'd be on pelvic rest. So I really wanted to, I need this physical intimacy with him. I just have this need for it. And he was like, no, I don't want to. And it kind of became a thing. And he finally just said, you know, I'm kind of worried that sometimes I wonder if you're like a sexual addict or something. And I've just really been thinking about it lately. And I guess I'm wondering, like, what is a sexual addict?

30:39 Drew And well, a sex addict is somebody who's an addict in general amongst their behaviors is a compulsive preoccupation with sexuality and it usually replaces the pharmacologic addiction and it's progressive. Things get worse. The consequences mount with time. Sexual compulsivity, which is a little more common, are people that describe something similar to what you're talking about, where they have to engage in sexual acts, but usually they're acts that they want to stop. They're things that have, again, sort of consequence. They spend a lot of money. They screw up relationships.

31:11 Pat O’Brien Well, she has pain.

31:12 Drew But yeah, I understand. It's bordering on it. But there are, and usually those people have been sexually abused in childhood.

31:18 Adam All right. Well, let's start the line of questionings. How many guys have you been with?

31:23 Caller I have to answer that. All right.

31:25 Adam Well, just around to the closest 50, let's say.

31:28 Caller Oh, gosh. No, not even. Maybe like 20 since I was 16.

31:34 Adam Maybe.

31:35 Drew How old are you? 27.

31:37 Adam All right. That's not too compulsive.

31:39 Pat O’Brien What's the point there, Adam?

31:41 Drew If it was 100 or 200.

31:43 Adam I just want to know what her past is like. In never raped or abused or molested or any of that good stuff?

31:49 Caller Yeah. My first sexual experience, I was 16, I was raped.

31:52 Adam Who was the guy?

31:54 Caller A neighbor of my parents.

31:56 Drew And nothing ever happened before that? To sort of make you a victim or some victimizer sort of seek you out?

32:02 Caller Oh, no, no, no. I had a big crush on him and I had asked him if, you know, if he would, if I could lose my virginity to him. And he said no. He was going to go away into the Army. And then one night he changed his mind unbeknownst to me and just kind of forced me into it.

32:22 Adam All right. But it could have been worse. He had a big crush on the guy. You'd ask him to take your virginity and then he did. I mean, your timetable may not have been the same.

32:32 Caller Absolutely. It could have been much more horrible.

32:34 Drew But just know that there are a lot more subtle intermediate issues that can add to people's drive toward sexuality. And you have a very intense drive. And it's about the need to feel connected, infused and intimate in certain ways. And it may not be the healthiest drive, but it's not really in the realm of compulsivity, I would say.

32:52 Adam John.

32:53 Hi.

32:53 Adam You're 14. What's up?

32:54 Caller Yes. I went out with this girl and it was the first time I ever French kissed a little girl. And she and like after we did it, I like she went off and she told all her friends that I bit her lip and everything. And now I'm going out with a different girl. And I like she I'm afraid I haven't I haven't French kissed with her yet. And like and you know we're going to and everything. But I'm afraid that you know she's going to go on and tell everybody that I did her lip or anything like that.

33:23 Adam Did you bite this first girl's lip?

33:25 Caller Well this is what she said because my friend walked in on her like talking to her friends. Oh yeah John doesn't know how to scam. Yeah he bit my lip and I was like.

33:33 Adam Well let me do that.

33:34 Pat O’Brien John what are you in 9th grade?

33:36 Caller What?

33:36 Pat O’Brien You're in 9th grade?

33:37 Caller Yeah she she's like I tell this girl my new girl.

33:40 Pat O’Brien You like to cut her the mustache?

33:41 What?

33:44 Adam But John wait a minute did you bite her lip?

33:46 Pat O’Brien Well he doesn't know.

33:47 Caller I didn't feel anything but I don't know you know what like my best friend walked in there talking about it saying that like yeah he doesn't know how to scam.

33:55 Pat O’Brien Hey let me give you some advice that my my buddy Clito who's really an expert in this category gave me. Oh it's about that age that's right. Here's what you do here's how your French kiss at the beginning and probably this this holds true as long as you go. But what you do is you keep your tongue back.

34:13 Caller Let her reach in.

34:14 Pat O’Brien Don't go sticking it out. Let her go as far as she wants and you just meet it wherever it happens to be. That way they don't think that you know you were sticking your tongue too far down her throat and you know you just kind of do what what they do.

34:30 Adam I think the biggest problem a lot of guys have with in any form of sex whether it be you know French kissing or oral sex or intercourse they they over compensate for their lack of experience and they work too hard.

34:43 Pat O’Brien Yeah, they try to be too active.

34:45 Pat O’Brien I don't think this is about the kiss anyway.

34:46 Adam Just lay back, John. Don't worry. She's not going to say you did anything you didn't do.

34:53 Caller So I shouldn't tell her anything about like you know that I've only done it once.

34:57 Pat O’Brien Just tell her you're lucky I didn't bite you on the ass and move on.

35:00 Adam That's right.

35:01 Pat O’Brien Act like you've been there before.

35:02 All right.

35:03 Pat O’Brien Listen, if she sticks it out three quarters of the way you only stick it out one quarter of the way.

35:08 Pat O’Brien The stones may break my bones.

35:09 Drew Isn't that an interesting age of 14? I mean in some ways he sounded 7. We've talked to 14-year-olds who sound like 38, you know after finishing a tour in Vietnam, right? Right. That's one of the difficult things about that age is there's so many different sort of biological.

35:25 Adam It's really weird because I remember 9th grade, 10th grade, there were guys walking around with beards who were in the 9th grade and then there were like these little spindly guys whose sack had not dropped yet and had a big Adam sample protruding and their voice was cracking and they were hairless.

35:43 Pat O’Brien If you go into the sexual arena at that age, you don't want everybody talking about you. I mean, that's the bottom line.

35:47 Adam Yeah, right.

35:48 Pat O’Brien In a negative way. They're experimenting now and you know.

35:51 Pat O’Brien Oh yeah, because it makes them look like they know what they're doing.

35:53 Pat O’Brien I feel bad for them. Leave him alone, you kids.

35:55 Pat O’Brien Yeah, well meanwhile though, this kid's 14, he's making out with a different girl every week. He's a hell of a lot better than I was doing at that age.

36:01 Adam Jordan, better than you were doing at 18, 19, right? Jordan?

36:06 Yeah.

36:07 Adam You're 28. What's up?

36:08 Caller I recently broke up with a woman who had a very sort of peculiar odor and I've slept with some people, a lot of different people and I enjoy performing oral sex and this particular woman was by far like the stinkiest. I mean, it was just not good.

36:31 Adam Okay.

36:31 Caller And it was, I'd say it's one of the reasons we eventually broke up.

36:36 Drew Did you talk to her about it?

36:38 Caller Well, that was sort of the weird thing. I was just sort of confused about actually how to go about sort of telling her.

36:44 Pat O’Brien Pat, what would you do in this situation?

36:46 Pat O’Brien Does she watch the man show?

36:48 Caller I don't think she watches.

36:49 Drew I actually just watched Loveline because we talk about all the time about how this is a sign of an infection and how you need to get her to a doctor.

36:55 Caller Oh, really?

36:55 Adam But you broke up with her.

36:57 Caller Well, you know, it was one of the reasons, but...

36:59 Adam All right, but why do you have to go back and revisit this with someone you've broken up with?

37:04 Caller Well, it's not so much revisiting this with somebody I broke up with. It's more or less just trying to figure out, like, if it happens again, you know, what's the best way to go about it.

37:12 Drew Say you overheard something on Loveline where we were talking about this person with a smile and Drew said that it's always infection. And we're very, very frequently infected.

37:20 Adam All right. And you do what I do. You put that little shot of vapor rub on your upper lip before you go in.

37:26 Drew Yeah, by the way.

37:27 Adam I guess you silence of the lambs when they fish that body out of the out of the mire and they had to give it an autopsy there where they're pulling like the they had like a little what was that caterpillar inside the thing with the moth and everything. The first thing they did is they smear a little that vapor rub up there. Everything smells like mentholatum. You go down on a menstruating the bear and you wouldn't smell anything.

37:53 Drew Let me tell him. Oh, that since he may have if he had intercourse with her, he may harbor that bacteria. It doesn't cause infection to man, but it causes a carrier state and he could cause motor in his next partner.

38:05 Pat O’Brien So his vagina might smell too now.

38:07 Drew No, his next partner's vagina can smell. No, don't freak him out.

38:10 Adam Oh, don't freak him out.

38:12 Pat O’Brien Stick to French kissing like the 14 year olds.

38:14 Adam Michael or Michelle?

38:17 Caller Yes.

38:17 Adam You're 24. What's up?

38:19 Caller Yes. This is basically a question for Dr. Drew. I was wondering, it seems I don't know if I'm allergic to rubbers.

38:26 Caller I'm not really sure what it is.

38:28 Caller When my partner and I, we were using rubbers all the time, but I've noticed that I get this itching, burning, and the inner course doesn't even feel good anymore.

38:39 Drew Why don't you try other kinds of condoms?

38:40 Caller Use polyurethane? We went through different kinds.

38:45 Drew Were they all latex?

38:47 Caller We tried the lambskin. We tried every one that we've seen at the store. It seems like it bothers me. It feels like I'm going to, afterwards, it seems like maybe a week after I feel like I'm going to get a yeast infection or something, but it never comes to me.

39:02 Adam Okay, but you're probably not allergic to the material that the condom is made out of.

39:07 Caller I don't know what it is.

39:08 Drew That's a common thing.

39:09 Adam Yeah, but if you go through three different kinds, then it's not the material.

39:13 Drew It sounds like a lubrication problem, much to any extent.

39:17 Adam Let me tell you the problem with the condom is it can be like a sneaker on a basketball floor. You know what I mean? You can get that cheap, cheap, cheap thing going on. Absolutely.

39:26 Pat O’Brien By the way, the Lakers won them.

39:29 Adam Was there lubrication? Are you lubricated, Michelle?

39:32 Caller Yeah, we will use lubrication and everything. It's just, I don't know what it is.

39:37 Drew How long do you guys, are you together? We've been together like, No, no, I mean like when you engage in sex, how long is this?

39:42 Caller Maybe like five minutes.

39:45 Adam Five minutes. That's the thing. It's a marathon. What's this guy trying to prove? What's he going? Is he going off to the Army? What's with this five minutes?

39:53 Caller I only see him, I mean, I only see him like usually like once a week.

39:56 Adam All right, I guess so he's got to get his licks in, but still, five minutes. Yeah, that's not a real long time for a lot of lubrication and all that stuff. And this never happened to anyone before him?

40:07 Caller No, this never happened before.

40:10 Adam And what if you don't use a condom?

40:12 Caller It seems like if we don't use a condom, it's not, it doesn't bother me really at all.

40:19 Pat O’Brien I think it's probably the condoms that are bothering you.

40:21 Adam Yeah, but she's going with three different varieties. She's going with the latex, she's going with the...

40:25 Caller I tried different ones, yeah. I mean, we tried like different ones and it seems like...

40:29 Drew You need maybe a different form of contraception.

40:32 Caller I know. I mean, I plan on going in. I mean, I still want to use something else, but I'm not really sure what else to...

40:37 Drew Well, use the pill. How about that?

40:39 Caller Yeah, we're doing that, but I still kind of want to have protection though.

40:42 Drew Wait, wait. The pill is virtually 100% effective.

40:45 Caller Yeah, but...

40:46 Pat O’Brien You want to have protection for what?

40:47 Adam Aids?

40:48 Caller Yeah. I mean, I want protection from that.

40:50 Caller I want protection from, you know, VD.

40:52 Caller I mean, anything like that. I just don't know what this could be.

40:55 Adam Well, do you trust this guy?

40:57 Caller Yeah, I totally trust him.

40:58 Pat O’Brien All right. So you use the pill with him, and then when you move on, you go back to the condom. If it doesn't bother you with other people.

41:05 Caller I mean, could I have like some kind of infection, you think?

41:08 Drew Yeah, it's possible.

41:09 Pat O’Brien It couldn't hurt to take a hose and hose that whole area out.

41:11 Drew Well, it couldn't hurt to get a check, but it doesn't sound a specific driveway.

41:16 Adam Yeah, it's important. But don't blow the leaves in the neighbor's pool. They get pissed off. Yeah, I don't even know what to make of that area. It's just-

41:27 Pat O’Brien What is going on in there?

41:29 Adam It is not nearly sturdy enough for me.

41:32 Drew We did some TV that Adam advocated, putting it up on a plywood platform.

41:37 Adam No, I did not. I was talking about oral sex, and here's what I said. A lot of guys claim they love to perform oral sex on a woman.

41:45 Pat O’Brien O'Brien is always saying that.

41:47 Adam Yeah. Right?

41:47 Pat O’Brien I feel like he had quantum physics involved in this.

41:50 Adam They claim they love to do it.

41:52 Pat O’Brien Quantum condom.

41:53 Adam I claim no guy really loves to do it, but he loves to make his partner feel happy, and he loves to give his partner an orgasm, and people were arguing with me, and I said, listen, if you just removed a vagina, mounted it on a scrap of plywood, no guy would be sitting in front of the TV licking it.

42:11 Pat O’Brien Please.

42:13 Adam God knows I've tried. My dad had one for years in the basement. I never went near it.

42:19 Pat O’Brien Is that a sweep show you're doing here? It's a new game show. The good news is there's a variety of condoms.

42:26 Adam You put a hole in the plywood and you're in business, but not just the oral stuff, right, Drew? All right. We'll take a little break. Jimmy Kimmel and Pat O'Brien are both here and we'll be back after this.

42:38 Caller Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:42 We'll be right back.

42:57 Adam Yep, here we go. No more outside conversation. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Spike Jones will be in here tomorrow night, as well as some of the cast of Being John Malkovich.

43:09 Drew I got to finish, as I'm going to say to Pat, that I've never seen anybody, any man approach an awful situation with such dignity.

43:17 As Pat has here tonight?

43:19 Drew No, yeah.

43:20 Pat O’Brien We have a common friend who died of Lou Gehrig's disease, and we watched him go. It was terrible.

43:26 Adam How old was he?

43:29 Pat O’Brien A little over forty-two, I think.

43:31 Adam Pretty tight with him, huh, Drew? About four years off his age.

43:35 Pat O’Brien Yeah, Pat knew his age.

43:36 Adam Yeah, I guess so.

43:38 Pat O’Brien Pat had a friend, and somebody else was jumping on the pity train.

43:42 Adam Alright, let's not go to hell.

43:44 Pat O’Brien Hey, Drew brought it up, huh?

43:46 Adam It is a loveline.

43:47 Pat O’Brien We're trying to remember our friend.

43:49 Pat O’Brien Alright, well, what are you doing?

43:50 Adam Yeah, Drew is really trying to remember. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, that is Pat O'Brien over there, and of course, the great Jimmy Kimmel from Win Ben Stein's Money and The Man Show, 10.30 Wednesday night Comedy Central.

44:05 Pat O’Brien I hate Ben Stein. You work with Ben Stein.

44:09 Adam Pat's jealous of what you and Ben have, I think.

44:11 Pat O’Brien Let me tell you why Pat hates Ben Stein.

44:13 Drew Why, why?

44:14 Pat O’Brien I don't hate him. It's just that I've met Ben Stein.

44:17 Drew That was enough.

44:18 Pat O’Brien Maybe 30 times. And every time he says to me, now who are you? What do you do?

44:24 Are you in the business?

44:25 Pat O’Brien I say, yeah, Ben, we met. And he'll go, are you in management?

44:30 I go, no.

44:32 Drew Did he have his dog under his arm?

44:33 Pat O’Brien You gotta understand, Ben doesn't wash a lot of the light energy.

44:36 Adam It doesn't matter.

44:39 Pat O’Brien That's sort of a big part of your shit.

44:41 Pat O’Brien Let me ask you this. He's a man in America, right?

44:44 Pat O’Brien Yep.

44:44 Pat O’Brien 17 US. Opens, 4 World Series, 10 NBA Finals, 10 NBA, 2 Olympics.

44:48 Pat O’Brien He couldn't possibly know less about sports.

44:51 Adam He doesn't know sports.

44:52 Pat O’Brien He doesn't know anything about sports.

44:54 Adam But he knows, I'll tell you one thing he knows, he loves me. Right, Jimmy?

44:57 Pat O’Brien He does love Adam. How many times have you met him?

44:59 Pat O’Brien He hates Drew.

45:00 Adam Twice.

45:01 Pat O’Brien Look at the dynamic here. He loves Adam, well he loves me of course.

45:05 He hates Drew.

45:06 Pat O’Brien Drew doesn't mind him. Pat hates Ben. Ben probably doesn't hate Pat. Ben has no idea who you are.

45:13 Pat O’Brien Which is fine.

45:14 Adam We're all going camping this weekend.

45:15 Drew The reason Ben hates me is I remind him that the corporal physical abuse of your child is not a good thing.

45:21 Pat O’Brien Well, he hates you mainly.

45:23 Drew He wants me to quote literature whenever I say that.

45:25 Pat O’Brien The real reason he hates you is because you get to be a doctor and he doesn't.

45:28 That's his first love.

45:29 Drew That's right.

45:30 Adam Ross?

45:31 Pat O’Brien Dreams.

45:32 Adam You're 15.

45:34 Caller Hey, what's going on, guy? What's up there, stoner? Hey, come.

45:38 Pat O’Brien This is more like it.

45:40 Caller I'm sorry?

45:40 Pat O’Brien This is more like it. We got these women with the chlamydia.

45:44 Adam What's up, Ross?

45:45 Caller Well, I must tell you guys, I've been a fan for a long, long time. I've been listening to you guys since like sixth grade.

45:51 Pat O’Brien If you had to choose between Loveline and Pot, which would you go with?

45:55 Caller Loveline. Oh, wow.

45:56 That's nice.

45:57 Caller Yeah.

45:58 Adam All right. Don't let your dealer hear you talking that way. All right. So what's the question, Ross?

46:04 Caller Well, all right, I just hope my girlfriend's not listening. It's almost a year ago today I cheated on my girlfriend. And I just don't know how to tell her.

46:19 Pat O’Brien You may just have.

46:22 Caller I went down on this girl, Jenny, like...

46:25 Adam Oh, no, no. Lisa just said he lied about the question.

46:29 Caller Yeah.

46:29 Adam Hey, Ross, come on. Come on, Ross. We only take serious questions on this show.

46:34 Caller She is qualified.

46:36 Adam Now, listen, if it's been a year and she hasn't found out, why tell her?

46:41 Caller Because I feel bad.

46:42 Pat O’Brien Oh, yeah, right.

46:43 Adam No, you don't.

46:44 Pat O’Brien Ross is any remorse or...

46:45 Adam Please...

46:46 Pat O’Brien .character.

46:47 Caller No, dude, seriously, listen to me. It's been a year, right?

46:51 Drew Okay. Why did you mention the girl's name? That's what's troubling me.

46:54 Caller Why did I mention the girl's name?

46:55 Drew If you're so worried about your girlfriend finding out about it, it's so disturbing to you, why don't you immediately tell us a name? Why would you tell us a name right up front? People are concerned about stuff like that. Hide information. They don't...

47:07 Adam Screw Ross. All right. Lisa's pissed because the phone screen elicited because he said he had a different problem. So, fine. Justin.

47:14 Caller Yo.

47:15 Adam You're 22.

47:16 Caller Yeah, I got a question. My sister just had unprotected sex for the first time.

47:23 Pat O’Brien Oh, congratulations.

47:24 Adam My sister had it tonight for the 44,000th time, by the way, with I think an 1800th man. But she called just to let me know about that.

47:35 Caller All right. So, anyways...

47:37 Pat O’Brien My sister's married to a guy that has a tattoo on his arm that says Helen, and my sister's name is Kathy.

47:42 Oh, no.

47:45 Caller Nice.

47:46 Pat O’Brien So, what's the story? How do you know about this?

47:49 Caller Well, because she told me. But here's the problem.

47:51 Caller Oh, my God.

47:53 Caller She was on the pill for five years before that, and she just got on it, and this was her first period that she's had while she's been off the pill, and she had sex while she was on her period, and now she's freaking out, and she had... It was on Sunday.

48:08 Drew What pill was she on?

48:10 Caller Um, you know, and I don't know.

48:13 Adam Hey, Justin. Yo. How much, uh, how much talking about it? Listen, let me tell you, I talked to my sister. She tells me, you know, she... I have two nephews. She tries to start getting into the birthing part. I'm like, uh, unless it's C-section, I don't want to know. I didn't want to picture your vagina and anything coming in or out of it.

48:33 Pat O’Brien I have never had what, ten seconds of discussion with my sister about sex. Never.

48:39 Adam And meanwhile, Justin is like, you know, Justin, his sister is sitting down. She's explaining about a great milky discharge. She says coming out of her.

48:46 Pat O’Brien Let me tell you, you go under the sink.

48:48 Pat O’Brien Maybe they have a close relationship and she's worried and she's crazy.

48:51 Drew How old is she?

48:52 Caller She's 17. Hey, you with the low estrogen. What?

48:54 Pat O’Brien Low estrogen.

48:55 Pat O’Brien She's been on birth control for five years. She's 17.

48:57 Drew Yeah, she just came running in with the low estrogen.

48:59 Caller And it was to keep her, to keep everything going.

49:02 Drew All right. And how many days off the pill was she?

49:06 Caller Less than 30.

49:07 Drew Oh, she'd been off almost 30 days?

49:09 Caller Yeah.

49:10 Drew Oh, and then she had sex?

49:11 Caller Yeah.

49:12 Drew She needs to take the morning after pill.

49:13 Caller Okay, I told her about that. It was on Sunday night. Is it still okay?

49:17 Drew Where are we here? Tuesday? Wednesday?

49:18 Pat O’Brien Yeah, Tuesday.

49:20 Drew You got to do it like right away. And it gets less effective as you move out from the event. You have 72 hours. It's like 90% effective at 24 hours, about 80% effective at 48 and about 70.

49:31 Caller Okay, I'm in California, so can I just go to any Planned Parenthood?

49:34 Drew Planned Parenthood will be able to get it for you, yeah.

49:35 Adam All right.

49:36 Caller Right on. Thank you, my guy.

49:36 Adam You're a good brother. We don't trust you. And let me explain to a lot of the stone listeners about the 72 hours. There can't be, you can't break it up. Can't be 36 hours, then 3 months, then you use up the other 36. You have to go consecutively, right, Drew? You don't always clarify that.

49:51 Drew Let's teach Pat about this. You know about this method of contraception?

49:54 Pat O’Brien The morning after drug?

49:55 Drew Yeah.

49:56 Pat O’Brien I know about the one in Europe. Is it the same thing?

49:58 Drew No. We need Pat to be a part of this army of people that needs to get the word out about this.

50:02 Pat O’Brien Pat's been looking for a cause.

50:03 Drew It's a good one. It basically would eliminate abortion. If somebody has an unprotected sexual encounter, it's basically overall, or low overall, the regular contraceptive pill, take a double dose within 72 hours of an unprotected encounter. 12 hours later, take another double dose. 75% prevention of pregnancy. Chocolate shake for lunch. It prevents ovulation.

50:23 Pat O’Brien Why wouldn't people just do this as a form of birth control?

50:27 Drew Because it's only about 75% effective. It's not meant to be that. But it is significantly better over just praying, obviously.

50:33 Adam And it's not an abortion pill.

50:34 Drew It's not an abortion pill. It works exactly the same way as the contraceptive pill. Yet because it's taken after intercourse, people are frightened of it as though it might cause an abortion. But the science has proven it doesn't.

50:46 Pat O’Brien I think it's because of that RU-486 pill that people heard about so much. But I think you hear about a pill that you take the next day. And it seems like it might be the same.

50:58 Pat O’Brien People don't think any politician in America would take that on as an alternative.

51:02 Drew But wouldn't you think it's a way of eliminating abortion? I think it's an important thing for us to begin educating people about it.

51:10 Adam We're going to have to finish with your personal crusade after this break, okay? Pat O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, we'll be back. Thanks for turning my mic on, Anderson.

51:51 It's real biggie.

51:52 Adam We're going to take a quick ten-second time out. We'll be back with more of the show in just ten seconds.

51:58 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

52:12 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Spike Jonze is going to be in here tomorrow. You know him from directing a lot of cool videos. He also did Being John Malkovich, which he'll be talking about tomorrow night. Supposed to be a real good movie. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Pat O'Brien is our guest tonight from Access Hollywood. Also, if you have a computer, go to sportspage.com, which will be launched November 15th. Pat's website and of course, a great Jimmy Kimmel from Win Ben Stein's Money.

52:44 Pat O’Brien It's still a little plug on the Man Show.

52:47 Drew How about drew.com, as long as you're plugging everything?

52:49 Pat O’Brien I'm going to plug drdrew.com.

52:51 Pat O’Brien What can I learn on drew.com?

52:53 Pat O’Brien drdrew.com.

52:54 Drew Jimmy did a webcast of me on it, actually. What did you learn?

52:58 Pat O’Brien I didn't learn anything during the webcast, but I went on the website and I learned some things about, well, the vagina.

53:05 Drew Basically, health issues for young people. And we do a lot of other interviews and movie reviews, a lot of lively stuff.

53:11 Pat O’Brien Remember when health issues were pimples?

53:13 Drew We have that too.

53:14 Pat O’Brien Yeah.

53:15 Drew But, boy, young people have a lot of mental health stuff. We're actually in business with the National Institute of Health, and so we really have that Fort Knox of web information.

53:23 Pat O’Brien They're actually making people crazy and stuff like that so that they have a service. It's a big conspiracy, a big circle perpetrated by the doctors.

53:30 Drew We do webcasts, we built a studio, and we do webcasts, talk, interact, do webcasts every week.

53:35 Pat O’Brien But more importantly, I would say, than that, Drew, is the fact that the Man Show new season debuts Wednesday night. That's either it's over and you just missed it, if this is the replay tomorrow on the East Coast, or it's on tomorrow night at 10.30.

53:49 Adam On Comedy Central.

53:50 Pat O’Brien How media savvy of you to know all that. Oh, and repeat, right? You can watch it.

53:54 Pat O’Brien This one's brand new.

53:55 Pat O’Brien I know it's the debut, that would be brand new.

53:57 Pat O’Brien Right, exactly, exactly. That's why I wanted to come tonight. We double up.

54:01 Pat O’Brien I like that.

54:01 Adam Craig?

54:03 Craig.

54:04 Adam Yeah, you're 27. What's up?

54:06 Caller I'm just, I'm into bondage and domination. And also I'm clinically depressed, just so you know, and I'm on medication and going through therapy. And I just want to know whether that's...

54:19 Pat O’Brien Right, so what's the problem?

54:21 Adam Do you want to be bound and dominated or are you the aggressive partner?

54:26 Caller I like to tie girls up and just for the sake of, you know, easier to tease them, better for oral sex.

54:33 Adam Do they know you?

54:35 Caller Yes.

54:35 Adam Oh, okay, good. Other than that, it's called abduction, right?

54:38 Caller As far as the domination goes, it's basically just role-playing.

54:41 Drew Is that really S&M when somebody just likes somebody to be sort of out of control?

54:47 Caller Yeah, actually, you know, I kind of...

54:49 Adam You know, the thing that always cracks me up about those bondage places is they like it's some sort of science. They have that safe word. When things are getting out of hand, there's that safe word. And you don't really need a safe word. It's just, hey, God damn it, my nipples, come on. Jesus Christ, Susie, I'm not kidding.

55:09 Pat O’Brien I'm not kidding is the safe word.

55:10 Pat O’Brien Ouch.

55:12 Adam Let me tell you something. When I get these shackles off, I'm going to do some ass beating myself, all right?

55:18 Pat O’Brien What about I'm not kidding me? I'm not kidding things from grade school.

55:21 Drew That's the universal magic word.

55:23 Adam I've always said this. As a kid, I don't know when it stops. I think it stops about the time you stop playing tetherball. You used to be able to use that I'm serious call. I remember one time some kids, I thought it would be funny if they rolled me up in a Persian rug. I put my hands by my side. The rug was 20 feet long. I got in the middle of it and they rolled me up. After I was rolled up in this rug, I thought, hey, this ain't a great place to be.

55:48 Pat O’Brien I can't breathe.

55:49 Adam Then when the kids started kicking me and laughing and jumping on me, it was a real good time. When I yelled, I'm serious. They go, unroll him.

55:59 Pat O’Brien Unroll him. Unroll him. There's a level of panic. You go, come on, guys.

56:03 Adam You get people in a lot of half Nelsons. You do a lot of holding underwater and stuff. If you give that I'm serious call, they know that the game's over. It's like tapping out. I've always thought, wouldn't that be great if you could bring that into your adult life?

56:17 Drew Sure.

56:17 Adam The boss fires you, tells you, I'm sorry. You go, listen, I just leased a Mercedes. You serious? You're fired? You're fired. I'm sorry, Patrick. I need this job. I'm sorry, Patrick. I'm serious. Or like your girlfriend dumped you or something. You could just yell. If you just one or two as an adult, the I'm serious that people would have to heed. But what the hell? Greg with the safe word. That's right. Greg, explain the safe word. Do you have that?

56:45 Caller Actually, that's really not been an issue.

56:49 Adam But do you agree on one before you get bound or bind?

56:55 Caller I haven't.

56:56 Drew He's not that far into it. He's just sort of restraining somebody.

57:00 Pat O’Brien How many girls have let you tie them up?

57:02 Caller Oh, about a dozen or so.

57:05 Pat O’Brien How many?

57:05 Caller About a dozen or so.

57:07 Adam And it has a lot of that dirty talk and stuff, too?

57:10 Caller It's more basically, it's more, you can tease them, you can go ahead and when you're performing oral sex, they can't actually force you know, force any further contact that you actually want.

57:26 Pat O’Brien You know, the whole tying up thing is, basically when you're tied up, it means you don't have to do any work. I'm like, all right, I got an excuse. I don't have to do anything. I'm just going to lay back and enjoy the whole thing.

57:35 Adam I take it a step further. It's like, get a couple of popsicle sticks and some twine and let's tie the penis around it too. I can really relax. I'll nap right through this whole ordeal.

57:45 Pat O’Brien What are you finding? These people that you know, these people that you date?

57:49 Pat O’Brien Yeah, really, where do you find these girls?

57:51 Caller Oh, just people that I date.

57:52 Drew Are you not really into it?

57:53 Caller It's not going to progress.

57:54 Pat O’Brien It's different, isn't it?

57:55 Adam Well, let's focus on your depression more, Greg. That seems like something to take care of and then we'll see how the bondage goes.

58:02 Caller Well, I am on medication. I am getting therapy and I just want to know if that's the aberrant behavior that I need to bring up with my therapy.

58:09 Drew You know, bring it up, but it's not, I mean...

58:11 Adam If you need it every time to function, it is.

58:14 Drew That's right. Then it's very important at that point.

58:16 Caller Do you? Well, actually, I get off more in bringing pleasure to my partner.

58:23 Adam Okay. So listen, if you want to dust off the gimp ball every once in a while and get it on, that's fine. But not on a daily basis. You shouldn't need it every time.

58:33 Pat O’Brien I haven't played that since I was in fourth grade. Remember that? Gimp ball?

58:38 Adam It's like tether ball. It's like tether ball for older kids. Let me tell you an absolutely true story. I had a girlfriend who wanted me to talk. Drew, you know, insisted that I talk a little dirty, get a little nasty in bed. You know, she was like, get mean, get nasty, get dirty. I go, OK, hold on. Let me think. Oh, yeah. I hate your mom. She's fat. She's she's obtrusive. She has no manners. And I don't I don't like her at all. It's like, what the hell are you talking about? I was like, you want me to get nasty? And I don't like your mom. I just don't like the woman.

59:14 Pat O’Brien I hate that blue pashmina you wore last night.

59:17 Drew I just stopped everything. We got to talk about this.

59:22 Adam Chiffon makes your ass look wide. Michelle, you're 21. What is up?

59:30 Caller Am I on the air?

59:31 Drew Yes.

59:33 I'm five months pregnant.

59:36 Caller And about a month ago, I came to the conclusion that my boyfriend, who is also the father of my baby, is gay.

59:47 Drew You came to that conclusion, or did he come out to you about it?

59:49 Caller Well, I knew he was bisexual. We went to a club, which was a gay club. We went to go dancing. And I went to the bathroom. I came back. He was dancing with the guy. But a little while later, he said, Let's leave. And I said, Why? And he said, Well, I don't want to screw up on you. And we had a big fight about it. And the next day, we had already been fighting because we hadn't had sex in like three months.

1:00:19 Adam Hey, hey, Michelle. But let me ask you something. I know you're in a bad way right now, but you hadn't had sex in many months. The guy was bisexual. You went out dancing at a gay club. He's dancing with a guy. How shocking a revelation is this?

1:00:37 Drew That he might think about having sex with a guy.

1:00:39 Adam It seems fairly obvious to me, doesn't it?

1:00:41 Drew He's bisexual.

1:00:43 Caller Well.

1:00:45 Pat O’Brien You're worried that the baby's going to be gay?

1:00:48 No, I'm just.

1:00:50 Adam All right.

1:00:51 Drew Yeah.

1:00:51 Adam Well, Michelle, seriously, you knew he was gay.

1:00:55 Drew You knew his bi.

1:00:56 Caller Well, yeah, but he's the one who wanted to be with me.

1:01:00 Caller We were best friends for a year.

1:01:02 Pat O’Brien Well, this might work out good, actually, because I tell you, the gay guys are pretty responsible.

1:01:08 Adam That's true.

1:01:09 Pat O’Brien You're best friends with the guy already. You already got a leg up on most people that have a relationship, right?

1:01:16 Pat O’Brien Yeah. So another issue, you're afraid there's no one to take care of the baby? Is it? No, no, no.

1:01:21 Caller We still live together and he takes care of me. He wants to be in the baby's life, but we don't tell anybody. Nobody knows and I don't know how to deal with it.

1:01:33 Adam Michelle, but what is up with you that you would hook up and strike up this kind of relationship with a guy who was so precariously balanced sexually? I mean, you had to know that this guy wasn't going to be around for the big picture.

1:01:47 Caller No, I didn't.

1:01:48 Adam You didn't? Why?

1:01:49 Pat O’Brien But she didn't plan on getting pregnant either, right?

1:01:52 Adam Hey, Michelle, I'm guessing not. You didn't plan on the pregnancy, did you?

1:01:56 No, it happened about a week after we were together.

1:01:59 Adam Can you give the child up for adoption?

1:02:01 Caller No, no, no.

1:02:02 Drew Why not? Why not?

1:02:05 Caller Because I want this baby. I mean, it's... I mean, I know he's going to be a good father. I know he's going to take care of me and the baby, but I don't know, like, how this is going to affect the baby.

1:02:19 Adam How do you know he's going to be a good father and take good care of you and the baby?

1:02:23 Caller I just... I've been friends with him for a long time.

1:02:26 Adam Okay. Well, then, what are you worried about?

1:02:30 Caller Well, what am I supposed to tell my child? I don't know how this is going to affect my baby.

1:02:36 Pat O’Brien Well, you went away at least a couple years before you bring it up.

1:02:39 Drew Whatever his sexual orientation is, if he's an available quality person, it's not going to matter. There's no evidence that sexual orientation affects parenting.

1:02:49 Pat O’Brien Is the guy still going to stay with you for this?

1:02:53 Caller We're not together. Like, you know, we're not intimate.

1:02:56 Adam We're just...

1:02:57 Pat O’Brien Right, because he's gay and all.

1:02:59 Adam Michelle, you really painted yourself into a corner here. And, like I said, something's up that you would strike up a relationship with this guy. Where do you come from? Is there any abuse or anything in your past?

1:03:11 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:03:12 Adam Oh, yeah?

1:03:13 Drew You can hear it in her voice.

1:03:14 Caller Yeah.

1:03:14 Adam Yeah, what happened?

1:03:16 Drew Big time.

1:03:18 Caller Um, I don't know.

1:03:20 Caller I mean...

1:03:21 Adam Was your dad abusive?

1:03:22 Caller I didn't have my dad around.

1:03:24 Drew Have you been hospitalized, psychiatrically, anything like that?

1:03:26 Caller No.

1:03:27 Adam Hey, Michelle. I really would like you to consider... Just remain open to the adoption option, please. You're in no shape to be a mother. You're really not. I mean, I hate to give you too tough a love here, but you're really not in any condition to raise a child. And he may not be either.

1:03:48 Caller That's completely not an option.

1:03:50 Adam All right. Well, if you're hell bent on screwing your kid up, so be it. But please don't get pregnant again. All right. And I don't know what to tell you about this guy. I know. Okay, Michelle, why don't you promise me this? Just get a little therapy, work on yourself, read a few books, work on yourself and be as good a mother as you can. Okay.

1:04:10 Drew That's decent advice, right?

1:04:11 Pat O’Brien Not a lost cause, right?

1:04:12 Drew No.

1:04:13 Pat O’Brien No.

1:04:13 Adam And we'll see what happens with this guy. But you worry about yourself right now. Okay.

1:04:19 Drew Mom is more important than dad anyway.

1:04:21 Pat O’Brien And Michelle, the new season of The Man Show debuts tomorrow night, 10.30 Comedy Central. I don't know if that will help, but I'll tell you this, it's not going to hurt. Maybe he'll turn them around. You know, Jimmy, put him in front of that TV.

1:04:36 Adam We do many interviews for The Man Show.

1:04:37 Drew I don't even think a child should be exposed to that stuff in Euro.

1:04:42 Pat O’Brien My son was watching it tonight.

1:04:43 Pat O’Brien Oh, I'm not sure any man should be exposed to that stuff.

1:04:47 Pat O’Brien He's six years old and he's watching this nonsense go on. They had a little marathon of the show today.

1:04:55 Adam I saw the movies Men Don't Want to See tonight complete with the movie Pioneer Dads with LeVar Burton and Dick Van Pen. Experience of trials and tribulations firsthand of interracial gay adoption in the 1800s. They worked the land and each other. LeVar called me the next day at the office. Do you remember that, Jimmy? It was great. There's nothing worse than LeVar Burton calling you up at your office. A man you've never spoken to in your life.

1:05:26 Pat O’Brien Hey, reading Rainbow. What's going on?

1:05:28 Adam Yeah, he was like, hey, Adam, this is LeVar Burton. I'm trying to be casual.

1:05:32 Jimmy Kimmel Hey!

1:05:33 Adam You know, trying that black thing. My man!

1:05:36 Caller What's happening?

1:05:37 Drew Are you sure it wasn't Jimmy and his friends?

1:05:40 Pat O’Brien It wasn't me. I was standing right beside him.

1:05:41 Adam I thought everyone was pulling my chain, but it was LeVar and he wanted to know what was up and why him as one of the pioneer dads. And I said, why not? Why Dick Van Patten? You never know, LeVar. And he said, well, Dick Van Patten is seen as a father figure in this country. I'm not. And I thought, well, you know, LeVar, you got a good point. Even though I wrote that one myself, I'm going to talk to the writers about it, mainly because they're in the next room.

1:06:10 Pat O’Brien He gave himself a good scolding. Yeah.

1:06:13 Adam LeVar, you haven't seen the poster. It's really funny. It's dynamite. We'll send one out to you, all right? They work the land and each other.

1:06:21 Caller Oh boy.

1:06:23 Adam I haven't heard from LeVar since then.

1:06:24 Pat O’Brien No, no.

1:06:25 Adam Chelsea?

1:06:27 Caller Yeah.

1:06:27 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:06:29 Caller Actually, I've seen Jimmy on Letterman the other night. It was pretty good.

1:06:32 Adam Oh, yes. His triumphant appearance. Yeah.

1:06:37 Pat O’Brien Yeah. What did you think of my body?

1:06:40 Caller Pretty hot, actually.

1:06:41 Drew Would you like to come out with a shirt on or something?

1:06:43 Pat O’Brien Yeah, I tattooed it.

1:06:44 Pat O’Brien I took my shirt off. Listen, I want to talk to your engineer for a second. Listen, you idiot. I made that sound effect. You're not using it properly. I listen to the show and the sound effects are way too low. Either play them or don't play them.

1:06:58 Adam There you go.

1:06:59 Pat O’Brien That wasn't a sound effect.

1:07:01 Pat O’Brien Jimmy actually made that sound effect in Tampa, Florida in my early radio days.

1:07:06 Pat O’Brien Warning radio?

1:07:07 Pat O’Brien Yep.

1:07:08 Adam When he had a problem.

1:07:08 Drew It's your voice isn't it?

1:07:12 Pat O’Brien Warning radio. Brilliant.

1:07:14 Adam Chelsea?

1:07:16 Jimmy Kimmel What's up?

1:07:17 Caller I've been listening to the show for like three years now and I've heard Dr. Drew tell all the girls, you know, if you're having bad relationships or picking the wrong guys.

1:07:26 Pat O’Brien Come to my place.

1:07:28 Caller Take a few years off. That's what I did, you know. Took a few years off, went to college and got all my crap straight and got it all put together.

1:07:36 Drew How did you do that? How did you get your crap put together?

1:07:38 Caller Oh, just by like family support and you know, working through all my, like I have abandonment issues and How did you work through them? Basically, talking to my mom about it and I got put into therapy for a little while. That helped.

1:07:52 Adam Now, the question is dating a pedophile junkie?

1:07:57 Caller Not exactly. No, I'm not dating anyone.

1:07:59 Drew What was the problem? Why were you abandoned? Did your dad leave or something?

1:08:03 Caller Yeah, a whole big gamble worthy story.

1:08:07 Drew Did he abuse you?

1:08:08 Caller No, it was when I was 13, my mom told me that my dad wasn't really my dad. You know, it just sprung it on me and so.

1:08:17 Adam And how does she tell you that? How does she know what dad you're thinking of, by the way? You could have been thinking of your real dad.

1:08:25 Pat O’Brien No, seriously, how does she tell you? How did she break that?

1:08:28 Caller I was on the way to see my dad and she goes, Oh, by the way.

1:08:31 Pat O’Brien Oh, by the way.

1:08:34 Caller I don't know if he's your dad.

1:08:36 Pat O’Brien 13?

1:08:37 Adam Be out front Monday noon. I'll pick you up.

1:08:39 Drew She couldn't have waited till you were 28, you know. Mom, think of the impulse there.

1:08:44 Adam What's up with mom?

1:08:45 Pat O’Brien Well, she made a mistake.

1:08:47 Caller She did, years ago.

1:08:48 Pat O’Brien That's like the old joke where the priest is trying to figure out, teach another one how to tell somebody that their spouse is dead. He goes up the door and says, are you the widow? She goes, no. He goes, want to bet? I think I can tell that.

1:09:03 Pat O’Brien I think so. I think you just did.

1:09:05 Adam Chelsea didn't really have a question other than she got her crap together.

1:09:08 Pat O’Brien No, she just wanted to say that Dr. Drew saved her life.

1:09:10 Drew No, she wants to know how to get back into dating. That she's out of it, she can't get back. She's like stuck on limbo.

1:09:15 Pat O’Brien Please.

1:09:15 Adam Get drunk and hit the streets.

1:09:16 Drew Yeah, literally ask her question.

1:09:18 Adam All right. Chelsea?

1:09:20 Drew Yeah.

1:09:20 Adam You want to know how to get back into dating?

1:09:22 Caller I'm deathly afraid of, like, because I have these fantasies of healthy sex and I'm completely afraid of it.

1:09:28 Drew Why?

1:09:29 Caller I don't know. I can't get close to anyone. You know what I mean?

1:09:31 Drew Isn't that interesting? This is the real, all those people we talk to are fetishes and then those crap. This is what's under that.

1:09:39 Adam A boring person?

1:09:41 Drew A boring, frightened person. That's right.

1:09:42 Adam Chelsea?

1:09:43 Drew Yeah.

1:09:44 Adam It's not something you're going to be able to do overnight. I just think you'll meet a guy and he'll be better than the guys you met when you're in a different place emotionally. And things will work their way out. I mean, at 20, everyone screws up a little and you're still feeling your way around. That's why you don't get married like Jimmy. But it's a learning process. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Put a condom on and you realize your tendencies. Keep an eye on yourself.

1:10:09 Drew And try to get the relationship up and running before you have the sex.

1:10:13 Adam Brian?

1:10:13 Pat O’Brien Yeah.

1:10:14 Adam You're 24.

1:10:15 Pat O’Brien Yeah.

1:10:15 How's it going, everybody? Good. I got a question. You guys were mentioning an issue like a week ago or maybe a day or two or something like that. But you were talking about how guys get stuck in the friend mode with girls or whatever.

1:10:27 Adam Right.

1:10:28 Well, my question kind of is, well, I've always believed in kind of getting a Plutonic relationship started with a girl.

1:10:36 Adam I like that word, Plutonic.

1:10:38 Pat O’Brien It's a very mixed message. Is this Don King?

1:10:42 Drew Adam usually becomes the car detailer for the girl first.

1:10:45 Adam I like to come over, mow the lawn, change the oil, and Simonize the car.

1:10:49 Pat O’Brien It's Plutonic.

1:10:50 Drew Plutonic.

1:10:51 Caller Not that bad. Well, I mean, just as far as getting a friendship started, getting some sort of, you know, what's it called? Now I get nervous. I can't think of anything to say.

1:11:00 Drew We understand what you're saying.

1:11:00 Caller Some sort of common ground, you know? Right. Trying to get it going before the physical part happens and...

1:11:06 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no.

1:11:08 Caller No?

1:11:09 Drew Women need to know that they're wanted. And if you are not available to them right away, they aren't going to let you in. You're just friend at that point.

1:11:20 Adam My first move is to dry hump.

1:11:22 Drew No, no.

1:11:22 Adam I don't even extend my hand.

1:11:23 Drew But the point is, you can be the friend, but at the point at which... It needs to be a distant friend.

1:11:30 Pat O’Brien The thing with all that is, why do you have to...

1:11:32 Drew Think it so much.

1:11:33 Pat O’Brien Yeah, why do you have to think it out? Why do you have to say, let's just be friends?

1:11:37 Pat O’Brien Well, listen, here's what it is. You know, Pat, you don't understand this because you're a good looking man, but guys like myself, is he on the line right now?

1:11:45 Adam Yeah, he can hear you.

1:11:45 Pat O’Brien You're probably shooting over your head with these girls and, you know, and probably you really need to lower your standards a little bit because girls are pretty much either in or out right at the beginning. There's no, if you, you know, you do this, oh, he's so nice. I mean, maybe every once in a blue moon, they'll give in, they'll relent to something like that, but still you're going to be in over your head. I think that, you know, you're probably picking the girls that aren't necessarily on your caliber, and that's probably the problem, and you know, by being a buddy to them, you know, it's not the way in the door.

1:12:18 Adam Well, if I heard Brian's question, and Jimmy has some valid points there, none of them entertaining, but all of them valid. If I hear Brian's point, he's saying, you know, why can't you be friends for a little bit and then have it evolve into a relationship? That is fine. You should always get to know somebody, but have it heading down a certain path. You meet them, you have a conversation, you don't have to make out with them the first day you meet them, but have it go down the path toward that as opposed to the other path, which is the platonic or as Brian would say, but why define it?

1:12:53 Pat O’Brien But why define it?

1:12:54 Adam No, but the girl know what direction it's heading.

1:12:56 Pat O’Brien Chemistry will let you know.

1:12:57 Drew Here's the main thing, guys play the friend card because they're afraid to put themselves on the line and fear rejection. And women like to see somebody who's available and taking risk and who shows how they feel about them. And they're either going to be in or out. Really, ultimately.

1:13:13 Pat O’Brien If you sit and listen, and don't talk, you're going to score. If you sit and listen, the men who sit and listen, and just listen and listen and listen and listen.

1:13:24 Adam Well, it's also good to...

1:13:25 Pat O’Brien You're going to have a girlfriend.

1:13:27 Adam If you feign a little of that agreement.

1:13:29 Pat O’Brien I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm not ripping that.

1:13:32 Adam You just keep nodding your head and...

1:13:33 Pat O’Brien Guys like Jimmy and I.

1:13:34 Adam Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:13:35 Pat O’Brien Me, I was like, hey, you need a ride to a mall.

1:13:39 Pat O’Brien What do you want to do now?

1:13:39 Pat O’Brien You know, I could probably help you with your homework there. I'm pretty good with this.

1:13:43 Drew You abducted Jimmy, though, didn't you?

1:13:44 Pat O’Brien Not what he wanted.

1:13:46 Pat O’Brien Yeah. Well, my wife... No, that was just an accident on her part. No, what she was thinking.

1:13:52 Adam All right, she's still trying to get an annulment. It's been 11 years. We are going to take a little break. Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are both here, and they'll remain here right through the break, and then we'll come back and talk to all of you. That is Dr. Drew Pat O'Brien from Access Hollywood. NBC's 730 or Thereabouts on weeknights is on and all over the weekend too. Also, Jimmy Kimmel, Whit Menstein's Money in the Man Show, Wednesday nights Comedy Central, 10.30, big premiere tomorrow night. And it's back to the phone as we go. Katie.

1:15:02 Caller Hi.

1:15:03 Adam You're 15. What's up?

1:15:05 Caller First, I just want to say I love Loveline, and I listen to it every night, and Adam really is the funniest person ever.

1:15:09 Adam Oh, thanks.

1:15:10 Caller Okay. So what happened was, I went to this girl's party, and I got really drunk, and I kind of got on her brother, and now she hates me, and she thinks I'm a whore, and he's like, all weird, and he won't talk to me.

1:15:21 Adam How old's her brother?

1:15:22 Caller He's a senior.

1:15:23 Adam And you sort of pursued him after you got drunk?

1:15:27 No. See, it kind of like was kind of mutual.

1:15:29 Caller All right.

1:15:29 Caller Just kind of like...

1:15:30 Adam Did you have sex?

1:15:31 Caller No.

1:15:32 Adam What'd you do?

1:15:33 Caller We just kind of like scammed.

1:15:34 Pat O’Brien What does that mean? I've been seeking an explanation.

1:15:36 Adam It means a lot more than when you were attempting to scam.

1:15:40 Pat O’Brien What does scamming mean?

1:15:41 Adam Oral sex?

1:15:42 Caller Well, no. No, see, they were all in the room. Yeah. All right.

1:15:45 Pat O’Brien But what does it mean? No one will say what it means. What did you do?

1:15:48 We just like made out.

1:15:50 Adam Just made out.

1:15:51 Pat O’Brien That's kind of what it means.

1:15:52 Pat O’Brien I think it's kind of humping.

1:15:53 Pat O’Brien Like groping type of thing?

1:15:54 Yeah.

1:15:55 Caller Yeah.

1:15:55 I just like hand down my shirt.

1:15:56 Caller But yeah.

1:15:57 Adam Hand down the shirt.

1:15:58 Yeah.

1:15:58 Pat O’Brien You seem pretty proud of the whole thing, too.

1:16:01 Caller No. I don't know.

1:16:03 Pat O’Brien So what happened now? You go to this party.

1:16:05 Caller Yeah.

1:16:06 Pat O’Brien You get drunk. Uh-huh. Where did you get the booze, by the way? I'm just curious.

1:16:11 We were in the garage and like.

1:16:12 Caller I bought it for them.

1:16:13 In the garage.

1:16:14 Caller You had what?

1:16:15 We were in the garage and there was like the fridge in the garage and it had all the stuff in it.

1:16:18 Pat O’Brien Okay.

1:16:18 Adam Wow.

1:16:18 Pat O’Brien So the parents are gone.

1:16:20 Yeah.

1:16:20 Pat O’Brien And you see this guy that's good looking.

1:16:23 Drew Come on.

1:16:25 Adam You didn't do this?

1:16:26 Drew Yeah. But I'm putting like radar implants on my kid.

1:16:29 Pat O’Brien And you meet this guy and now you're having problems with the guy's sister. Yeah. Who's your friend.

1:16:34 Yeah.

1:16:34 Pat O’Brien And it's like a huge problem or can you get over it?

1:16:37 Well, I mean like she's not talking to me and she's like saying all this stuff behind my back.

1:16:39 Pat O’Brien Everything's huge when you're with kids.

1:16:41 Pat O’Brien See, here's what parents don't do. I think you got to prepare your kids today for stuff like this. And things are going to, you know, you got to tell your kid, there's going to come a time in your life when you're going to like somebody else's boyfriend or girlfriend or you're going to like a girl and the next day she's not going to like you. I mean, I was never prepared for this. I remember the first time a girl broke up with me. I was shattered for the first time I liked a girl that belonged to somebody else. I couldn't figure out why this couldn't work. It seems to me, and I know what I'm dealing with here, but it seems to me that there's some way you got to prepare kids. This isn't that big a, I'm not for the drinking at 15, it's not that big a deal. This stuff's a lot worse is going to happen to you in life.

1:17:16 Adam No, and the friend should really get over it.

1:17:18 Pat O’Brien Well, not a friend if she's mad about it. She should be laughing about it.

1:17:20 Adam Young girls are often times looking for an excuse to be bad.

1:17:23 Pat O’Brien Girls get weird about their brothers.

1:17:25 Adam Right, it's no big deal and she should get over it and she will get over it in that week.

1:17:30 Pat O’Brien I was drunk to fence, that's all.

1:17:32 Adam Right, same one Jimmy uses when he drives.

1:17:37 Adam Yeah, I'm trying to think, my dad told me two things in my entire life that I can remember. One is whatever happens to you, it's your fault. So thanks, Bob.

1:17:46 Pat O’Brien That was good advice.

1:17:46 Adam How about the part about getting a crappy dad? Is that something I did?

1:17:50 Pat O’Brien Your daddy drinks because you cry.

1:17:51 Adam That, you're probably not going to get to six foot. That was the other one that remains with me.

1:17:58 Pat O’Brien I'll never forget that when this woman broke up with her, said she didn't want to see me.

1:18:02 Pat O’Brien What was her name?

1:18:03 Pat O’Brien Lorraine was her name. Yeah, she was 19, I was 16.

1:18:06 Caller What was her last name?

1:18:08 Pat O’Brien I can't remember.

1:18:08 Pat O’Brien God damn you, Pat.

1:18:10 What is that?

1:18:11 Pat O’Brien You're going out with 19-year-old girls when you're 16.

1:18:15 Pat O’Brien Jesus.

1:18:16 Adam Yeah, that's pretty cool.

1:18:17 Pat O’Brien Yeah, that's pretty cool.

1:18:18 Adam Yeah, I should have had a mustache.

1:18:19 Drew He was in a band. He was in a band.

1:18:21 Adam Yeah, that's true. All right.

1:18:22 Caller I was in a band too, but I was playing clarinet and wearing a big tall hat, a tuba, a big fur hat, a big loofah hat, white shoes on.

1:18:32 Pat O’Brien Hey, you know who was in a band like that? My next door neighbor was named George and he played the drum and bugle corps. In my state, you could get kicked out of the state for being a juvenile delinquent, and they kicked him out. And the last thing he said to me was, I'm going to California to start a band. And I said, yeah, sure, George. And it was Buddy Miles.

1:18:53 Adam Oh, that was him?

1:18:54 Pat O’Brien That was Buddy Miles.

1:18:56 Pat O’Brien Well, his name's not George?

1:18:57 Pat O’Brien It was George Miles, but then his name changed to Buddy. Next thing I know, he's the Buddy Miles, because he's Jimi Hendrix's drummer.

1:19:02 Adam Wow.

1:19:03 Pat O’Brien There's a little story for you.

1:19:04 Adam Wish I would have got kicked out of somewhere.

1:19:06 Pat O’Brien Yeah, out of the state.

1:19:07 Pat O’Brien I don't know the exact way he got kicked out of the state. Well, they used to tell you, you got to get out of here. I may have a little bit of that wrong.

1:19:13 Adam They'd take him right down to the rail line, and they'd hook him up in a postage bag.

1:19:17 Pat O’Brien There was a judge who could actually tell you that some bizarre thing. Out of the state? Yeah. That's the Wild West.

1:19:23 Adam Pat, you got some kind of advanced dementia.

1:19:26 Pat O’Brien You think so?

1:19:26 Adam Drew, it diagnosed Pat.

1:19:28 Pat O’Brien Well, the bottom line is Buddy turned out okay.

1:19:30 Adam All right.

1:19:31 Pat O’Brien Well, there you go.

1:19:31 Adam All right.

1:19:32 Pat O’Brien Who are we on the phone with?

1:19:34 Adam She's fine. All right. You guys remember, I was thinking when she was talking about drinking at 15, and Drew, I know you're not going to admit to this, but I know you did it anyway, where you'd have to go to a liquor store and get guys to buy beer for you. You'd all stand out with three or four guys in the parking lot and one guy would go to the guy and go, like this guy had long hair and he looked kind of cool, and you'd go to him, hey man, I left my license out in my other van, and here's 10 bucks, do you think he has six pack of Mickey's? And it'd take you all night, but one guy would go in there, and the problem was is the guy was willing to buy the beer for the underage guys was a little suspect, so he'd come back with five out of the six pack, no change, you know, 10 bucks for three bucks worth of Mickey's big guy.

1:20:19 Pat O’Brien The guy that will buy you beer is the guy that wants some of it and has less money than you.

1:20:23 Adam And will pocket whatever, yeah, as a matter of fact, you'll see him down there every weekend, it's a money making.

1:20:28 Pat O’Brien He was always the first one to shave to that guy.

1:20:31 Adam Jennifer.

1:20:32 Yeah.

1:20:32 Adam You're 19, what's up?

1:20:33 Caller Hey, how are you guys doing tonight?

1:20:34 Adam Good.

1:20:35 Caller Well, I just had a question. See, I met this guy while I was skating about a month and a half ago. And so, like, one of his friends came up and said he was really shy and invited us over and everything. And I had a couple beers.

1:20:49 Pat O’Brien Good move, by the way. Oh, he's real shy. Come on over here.

1:20:52 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:20:53 Caller So we all hung out. We ended up playing cards. I had a few beers and a couple shots of whiskey and everything. So this guy and I, we ended up making out for a couple hours, at least while our friends are sitting over another apartment, really bored. And we were just making out a lot of time and we exchanged numbers after that. And we talked on the phone a couple of times. He invited me over again by myself this time. So I went over and same scenario, I had a couple of beers, but his friend said I was like too wasted to go home. So I ended up staying the night over there and we ended up making out till odd hours in the morning. And then after that he said he'd call me and I never did. But we never ended up having sex or anything. So is that why he hasn't called me back?

1:21:33 Adam That's interesting. So you spent the night and you never got any further than just making out.

1:21:39 Caller Yeah.

1:21:40 Adam And how old is he?

1:21:41 Caller He's 25.

1:21:43 Adam 25.

1:21:44 Caller Yeah.

1:21:45 Pat O’Brien And you're 19?

1:21:46 Caller Yeah.

1:21:46 Adam He ain't interested. Or he's interested in another gender.

1:21:50 Pat O’Brien How many hours do you make out?

1:21:52 Caller Well, let me see.

1:21:54 Drew Or his prostate exploded.

1:21:56 Pat O’Brien Or maybe his mouth is just too tired from all that making out to call you.

1:21:59 Caller I don't know what mine was for a while. But I mean, we were going to meet.

1:22:05 Pat O’Brien How did you end it? How did you end it? What was the last thing you guys said to each other?

1:22:10 Caller The last thing he said, I'll give you a call.

1:22:13 Adam Okay. That was the next morning, right?

1:22:16 Caller That was before I left the next evening.

1:22:19 Adam The next evening.

1:22:20 Caller Yeah.

1:22:21 Adam So you stayed.

1:22:21 Caller And watched TV with the press.

1:22:22 Adam Stayed through the day. And did you sleep in the same bed?

1:22:26 Caller Yeah.

1:22:27 Adam You did? Well, yeah.

1:22:28 Caller When we did sleep.

1:22:29 Adam What were you wearing?

1:22:30 Caller I was wearing a dress.

1:22:33 Adam You slept in your dress.

1:22:34 Pat O’Brien Did you have the skates on?

1:22:36 Caller No.

1:22:36 Pat O’Brien That would have been great.

1:22:37 Adam You were just wearing...

1:22:37 Pat O’Brien Listen, let me just say this. If his buddy is saying he's shy, perhaps that's true. And maybe he is. And he can't be very aggressive if he made out for hours and never made any kind of move. Did he ever make any move on you?

1:22:49 Caller No, he didn't.

1:22:50 Pat O’Brien Go for the underwear, the bra or anything like that? Maybe he's just a really kind of a non-aggressive guy and maybe him not calling you is... That's part of the whole deal.

1:23:00 Adam Did he grab a boob?

1:23:02 Caller Yeah.

1:23:02 Adam Your boob? Okay. And I'd say if I made out... I couldn't make out with my grandmother for three hours without getting a sleight of hand out of the panties. I mean, eventually. My grandpa's been gone for a couple of years now.

1:23:14 Pat O’Brien Probably not single.

1:23:15 Adam Still a woman.

1:23:16 Pat O’Brien Maybe he's scared, you know? Maybe it's not his thing.

1:23:19 Pat O’Brien Yeah, maybe he is.

1:23:20 Pat O’Brien Maybe one of those guys.

1:23:21 Adam But the point is, is he's...

1:23:23 Caller Jennifer, what do you think I should do?

1:23:24 Pat O’Brien You have his number? Call him. Call him. Call him.

1:23:27 Adam That was a month ago?

1:23:28 Pat O’Brien Oh, yeah. I'll call him easily.

1:23:30 Adam Give him a call. It'll never work. We'll give him a call.

1:23:32 Drew I mean, it may... She'll be prepared. She may be disappointed, but find out what's going on.

1:23:37 Adam He's not terribly interested.

1:23:38 Drew Probably not.

1:23:39 Adam No.

1:23:39 Drew Probably not.

1:23:40 Adam Okay. He's 25, everybody. Jennifer?

1:23:43 Caller Yes.

1:23:43 Adam Year 23, what's that?

1:23:44 Pat O’Brien Everyone named Jennifer?

1:23:45 Pat O’Brien Yeah, a lot of them. Three or four.

1:23:47 Caller It was a popular name.

1:23:48 Pat O’Brien I guess.

1:23:49 Drew There's a baby naming book out there called Beyond Jennifer and Jason.

1:23:53 Caller Right.

1:23:54 Adam I've rented a porn now.

1:23:56 Drew I know. I'm sure you did. It was behind Jennifer and Jason.

1:23:59 Pat O’Brien I might have got some of that Buddy Miles story wrong.

1:24:05 Pat O’Brien It wasn't Buddy Miles. Buddy Hackett.

1:24:09 Pat O’Brien I don't think he got kicked out.

1:24:10 Adam It may have been Miles Davis.

1:24:12 Pat O’Brien It's the legend of that story. That's what we grew up thinking.

1:24:15 Adam Jennifer?

1:24:16 Caller Yes.

1:24:16 Pat O’Brien Keep worrying about that.

1:24:17 Caller What's your question?

1:24:18 Caller My question is for Drew.

1:24:19 Caller Yes, ma'am.

1:24:20 Caller I have a history of very irregular menstrual cycle.

1:24:25 Pat O’Brien I'll answer this.

1:24:26 Drew Go ahead.

1:24:27 Adam Pat threw a guy out of his town for that.

1:24:30 Pat O’Brien I don't think that's how it is.

1:24:31 Drew Stay.

1:24:33 Caller Go ahead. Well, I was just reading. I've been on the pill. I've been off the pill for a while. I was on the pill for a long time. I went off of it because I wasn't sexually active anymore. I stopped taking it. It's expensive. When I'm not on it, I don't have a period regularly. I went off of it. I had a period the following month. Then I didn't have one for two months. Then I had one again. Even before I ever went on the pill, when I first started my period, I would never have regular periods. When I was in high school, I could go three or four hours a day.

1:25:05 Drew What's the question?

1:25:06 Caller My question is, I was reading a book that had said something about the kinds of food that I eat can make my ovaries overproduce estrogen, which can throw off my hormones.

1:25:19 Drew They can make some slight, potentially create some slight changes, but not chronic changes like this.

1:25:24 Adam A lot of pregnant mare liver, I think that's one of the things, right, Drew?

1:25:30 Drew Potentially. So really, you're much more likely to have something called polycystic ovarian disease or some other cause of some what's called hypothalamic pituitary axis dysfunction. I mean, there are genetic reasons people have abnormal periods.

1:25:44 Adam So what should she do?

1:25:45 Drew Nothing. Nothing?

1:25:47 Adam Ever?

1:25:47 Drew What about? Nothing.

1:25:49 Pat O’Brien Go back on the pill.

1:25:50 Drew On the pill, if you need to have it regularized, if you're having some problem, symptoms as a result, but there's nothing, it has no health implications.

1:25:57 Caller So it doesn't hurt to not be regular? Because when I went to the doctor, she said, well, we should probably put you on the pill so that you can stay regular. But if I don't have a need for birth control...

1:26:07 Drew Were you having other symptoms? Were the periods very, very heavy and painful when you had them?

1:26:10 Caller No. No, not at all. No cramping, no heavy cramping.

1:26:13 Drew No. I don't know why they would end... Do you have any other things? Are you overweight? Do you have extra body hair? Do you have high blood pressure?

1:26:21 Adam You're not overweight?

1:26:23 Drew No.

1:26:23 Adam Well, there's no excuse for not having sex then.

1:26:26 Drew Did they evaluate you to see if you had polycystic ovarian disease? No. No, they didn't. There's some things to look into here.

1:26:33 Adam Why aren't you having sex, Jennifer?

1:26:36 Caller I'm just not having sex with men.

1:26:39 Adam Oh, you're with the gals?

1:26:41 Caller Right.

1:26:41 Adam Really? And you have a girlfriend?

1:26:43 Caller Yes.

1:26:44 Adam And how long have you been lesbian?

1:26:48 Caller Well, I've been with this girlfriend for two years.

1:26:51 Pat O’Brien What kind of shoes do you wear?

1:26:53 Caller What kind of shoes do I wear?

1:26:54 Drew Why are we on the front?

1:26:55 Adam Shoes, I'm guessing, that are higher in the front than they are in the back. That's how you really judge a lesbian.

1:27:00 Drew Wait a minute. You were not on birth control, the pill for birth control ever then, right?

1:27:05 Caller No, no, I was. I was on birth control initially because of that, yes.

1:27:10 Drew Because of?

1:27:11 Caller Because I was with a man.

1:27:12 Pat O’Brien Why did you turn off on men? What happened?

1:27:16 Caller I just met a woman who I fell in love with.

1:27:19 Pat O’Brien She's incredible, I bet.

1:27:21 Adam Let me ask you, Jennifer, does one of you play the male role in the relationship?

1:27:28 Caller I don't think that. I definitely think that she's more masculine than I am.

1:27:33 Pat O’Brien They always say no to this.

1:27:34 Pat O’Brien Do you watch Ally McBeal?

1:27:36 Caller Pardon? No, I don't watch Ally McBeal.

1:27:38 Adam All right, Jennifer?

1:27:39 Caller Yeah.

1:27:40 Adam All right, good. That's fine. You guys, you never use a strap on though, do you?

1:27:46 Caller Very occasionally.

1:27:47 Adam Oh, really? Yeah.

1:27:49 Pat O’Brien That's a whole irregular period of things.

1:27:50 Caller The funny thing is though, is that-

1:27:52 Pat O’Brien It's a big deal for lesbians. A whole irregular period of things is a big deal for lesbians because you never know what might happen when you're-

1:27:58 Adam That's all you got.

1:27:59 Drew What were you going to say, Jennifer?

1:28:02 Caller I'm sorry?

1:28:02 Drew You were starting to say something?

1:28:04 Caller Oh, I was just talking to Adam about the strap on. She seems to be the more masculine of the two of us.

1:28:10 Drew No, you said it very- you said it interestingly and then you stopped.

1:28:12 Caller Interestingly, because he had asked about if one of us was on that.

1:28:16 Adam Strap on.

1:28:17 Drew I see, I see.

1:28:19 Pat O’Brien Are you glad you stopped the comedy for that, Drew?

1:28:21 Drew Yes.

1:28:23 Adam I have this theory that in relationships, gay relationships or lesbian relationships, that one of the partners takes a more dominant, maybe even masculine role and wears the pants, so to speak.

1:28:37 Pat O’Brien Who does that in our gay relationship, Adam?

1:28:40 Adam Well, that's why we clash so much. We both want to play papa.

1:28:43 Pat O’Brien We're each in one leg of the pants.

1:28:45 Drew You can trade off.

1:28:49 Pat O’Brien You're the woman, you know. And Stein's the woman.

1:28:51 Drew Adam comes in as Chiffon once in a while.

1:28:53 Pat O’Brien Pat's starting to become the woman.

1:28:54 Adam Okay, we're going to take a little break. We'll argue over who's the bitch. And we'll be back after this.

1:29:02 I feel so liquidy.

1:29:03 Caller Really, do I?

1:29:04 Caller You're listening to Loveline, the Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline will be right back.

1:29:35 Adam We are back with the Loveline. I'm Adam, that is Drew. Forget about the phone number, forget about the fax number. Pat O'Brien is our guest tonight from Access Hollywood, 730 NBC, every night of the week.

1:29:48 Pat O’Brien Apologize to Buddy Miles. I think I had that story wrong.

1:29:51 Adam And Jimmy Kimmel, of course, from The Man Show and Win Ben Stine.

1:29:55 Pat O’Brien I also apologize to Buddy Miles.

1:29:57 Adam I'd like to send my regards.

1:29:59 Pat O’Brien I'm going to be the urban legend.

1:30:00 Pat O’Brien Isn't this where you do the DJ talking thing?

1:30:04 Adam Oh, the lightning round?

1:30:06 Pat O’Brien No, because I've been wanting to do that with you.

1:30:10 Drew Can I leave it in the bathroom or something?

1:30:12 Pat O’Brien No, come on, Drew. It's no fun if there's no way to hate it.

1:30:16 Adam All right.

1:30:17 Drew I'll hate it, I promise.

1:30:18 Pat O’Brien You want me to start it?

1:30:20 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

1:30:21 Pat O’Brien Hey, good morning, everybody. It's 12 minutes before the hour. That's 48 minutes past the hour. Hope you're having a good night. You're along with Ace Rockolla. How you doing today, Ace?

1:30:30 Adam Thank you, Jimmy. That is the fabulous Jimmy Kimmel. He is hot, hot, hot. Along with Pat, Pat the Man, Pat O'Brien.

1:30:37 Pat O’Brien Mr. Access Hollywood, Mr. Hollywood Insider, Mr. Hollywood. What's going on in Hollywood today, Pat?

1:30:42 Pat O’Brien Hi, everybody. Tonight on Access Hollywood, Ally McBeal night. Hollywood's all talking about the same sex kiss.

1:30:49 Pat O’Brien Oh, that Ally McBeal, that lesbian kiss, was that?

1:30:51 Drew What's that?

1:30:53 Adam Guys, let me jump in with the time. It's 11.49 in three seconds. That's 10 minutes and 57 seconds away from the top of the hour. 12 o'clock straight up, you're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla, your humble host. Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are both on the show, and they are hot, hot, hot. Let's go to the phones and find out what America's talking about. Hi, May.

1:31:15 Caller Yeah.

1:31:16 Pat O’Brien Hey, you got through.

1:31:18 Pat O’Brien What's your favorite radio station?

1:31:20 Pat O’Brien You're a winner.

1:31:22 Adam You're 26.

1:31:23 Caller Yeah.

1:31:24 Adam After four years of marriage, sex only lasts 10 minutes. Yep.

1:31:28 Pat O’Brien 10 minutes? Well, that's an eternity in my house.

1:31:31 Adam I hear you talking.

1:31:32 Pat O’Brien 10 minutes? I could get three of them done in that kind of time.

1:31:36 Jimmy Kimmel Hi, May.

1:31:37 Adam Yeah. Let me give the time out. It's 1149 and 48 seconds. That is 10 minutes and two seconds away from the top of the hour. You're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla. Our guest tonight, Jimmy Kimmel and the great Pat O'Brien, and they are hot, hot, hot. All right, Jaime. Thank you very much.

1:31:56 Caller We're going back to the phones.

1:31:58 Adam We got to burn through some calls here. Jeff, you're 17. What's up, brother? You want a lot of sex and your girlfriend doesn't.

1:32:07 Pat O’Brien Oh, she can't get enough, huh? Oh, wait a minute. You can't get enough. She doesn't want you anywhere near you.

1:32:14 Pat O’Brien Dr. Jeff, anything we can do about this.

1:32:17 Drew No, just hold on and don't vomit.

1:32:20 Adam Jeff, you got a slipper, the ether rag and the duct tape, brother. That is my answer for you. Let me give the time out. It is 10, 50 and 35 seconds. That's nine minutes and fifty, no, 65 seconds away from the top of the hour. Let me reset the show. Our guests tonight, if you haven't heard of the great Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, and they are hot, hot, hot. You're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla. It's back to the phones. We go, JC.

1:32:46 Pat O’Brien Yes.

1:32:47 Adam You're 25 years old. Jimbo, you want to read this question?

1:32:51 Pat O’Brien What is it? I can't read this question there. You give wife oral sex, but she won't give it to you. How do you get her to do it? That's a good question. I wish I knew the answer myself. I wouldn't be here right now, buddy. High five on that. All right.

1:33:02 Adam Yeah. JC? Yeah. You want her to give a little oral sex on you?

1:33:09 Caller Yeah.

1:33:09 Pat O’Brien I've been married for five years already. What's the problem?

1:33:13 Caller Every time we have sex, I always...

1:33:15 Adam Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. You may think I'm kidding. Brods love the taste of marzipan. You'd wrap your penis in that marzipan, she'll be all over it. You understand, JC? Thanks for calling in. Let me reset.

1:33:29 Drew She may not be up for that. Some women just can't quite do that.

1:33:32 Adam It's 11.51 in 40 seconds.

1:33:34 Pat O’Brien This is the best mix of today's hits from the 80s and beyond.

1:33:38 Adam That's eight minutes and 20 seconds away from the top of the hour. The witching hour. Straight up. You're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla. Our guest tonight, Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel. They are hot, hot, hot. It's back to the bones we go. Jeff, wait a minute. We already spoke to Jeff. Let's talk to John. Johnny, what's happening, Lady Kelly?

1:34:01 Pat O’Brien You're 20 years old.

1:34:03 Caller I actually had a crime war of a serious question not related to the lightning round.

1:34:07 Adam Oh, I see.

1:34:07 Pat O’Brien All right.

1:34:08 Adam Well, let's move on and speak to Heather. But before we move on, let me just give the time. It's 11 52 and 25 seconds. That is seven minutes and 35 seconds away from the top of the hour straight up on Ace Rockolla. Our guest tonight, Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel. They are hot, hot, hot.

1:34:26 Jimmy Kimmel Heather?

1:34:28 Caller Okay.

1:34:28 Caller Well, I was told that I could possibly have it.

1:34:30 Caller But they can't tell me for sure.

1:34:31 Caller But I just have felt that so the signs I could possibly have it.

1:34:34 Caller So I have to go back in four months and like re-test.

1:34:37 Pat O’Brien But like I've only been using foam in my...

1:34:39 Caller Should I start using condoms again?

1:34:41 Drew Yes.

1:34:41 Pat O’Brien HPV? What is HPV?

1:34:43 Drew Warts.

1:34:43 Adam That stands for...

1:34:46 Drew Human papillomavirus.

1:34:47 Adam That's right.

1:34:48 Drew He needs to wear the condom in the meantime.

1:34:49 Adam I'll tell you, if you can position those warts in the right place, it really helps the ladies out. It's 11 53 in 5 seconds. That's 6 minutes and 55 seconds away from the top of the hour. I'm Ace Rockolla. This is Loveline. It's back to the phones. We go. Did I mention that Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are guests tonight? And both of them combined are hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Yes, they are hot. We're going back to the phones again. Sandra?

1:35:16 Caller Hello.

1:35:16 Adam 19 years old. What's your problem, sister?

1:35:18 Caller I have a question, actually. I have two children. I'm 19 and I'm not with their father. I'm wondering, with guys, I'm wondering, are guys that scared that if you have children, I mean, how do you date and have two children?

1:35:33 Pat O’Brien Let me think about it. Yes.

1:35:35 Drew Yes.

1:35:37 Caller Hello.

1:35:38 Pat O’Brien You gotta find yourself a pedophile, honey.

1:35:41 Adam That'll draw them in. Good advice, Jimmy. High five on that.

1:35:45 Drew Oh my god.

1:35:46 Adam High five on the pedophilia joke. Sandy? Sandy, can I call you Sandy? Hello. Sandy, you call me Ace Rockolla. Listen. First off, hold on one second. Let me give the time out. It's 1154 and five seconds. That is five minutes and 55 seconds away from the top of the hour, the witching hour, 12 o'clock straight up. You're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla. Sandra? First thing you can do is keep your legs closed for five minutes, Sweet Pea, and stop popping the kids out. Secondly, most guys will steer away from that, but a small percentage of them, as my partner Jimmy Kimmel mentioned, the pedophiles, and a subset of the pedophiles, guys who don't know their pedophiles, will be attracted to you and the kids. So don't worry, you will find a guy, okay, Sandra? But no more kids for a little while, and focus on the kids, and focus on being mommy, all right? All right. All right, that is just good advice. Let me give the timeout one.

1:36:36 Pat O’Brien I swear we got it, even I'm growing tired.

1:36:38 Adam It is 11.

1:36:39 Drew I hope you appreciate what you've done here, Jimmy. I really am proud of you.

1:36:41 Adam 11, 54, in 50 seconds. That is five minutes and ten seconds away from the top of the hour. Pat O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are our guests tonight. They are hot, hot, hot. You're listening to Loveline. I'm Ace Rockolla. My partner, Dr. Drew, the love doctor. We're going to take a quick break, and we'll be back with more of the show after this.

1:36:59 The phone number for Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:37:03 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:37:31 Adam Pat, if you want to track Jimmy, by the way, a good place to start is the Price Club in the food section. He likes to buy ravioli and bulk. All right, that is it with the show. I want to thank Pat O'Brien for coming in here tonight, Access Hollywood and the sports, where the hell is it?

1:37:47 Pat O’Brien sportspage.com.

1:37:48 Adam November 15th, that will be out, so you will want to check that out. Pat, thank you very much for coming in. Always a good time. Come in anytime you like. Thank you. And of course, Jimmy Kimmel. Look for him on Win Benstein's Money. And of course, The Man Show, premiering tomorrow night at 10.30 Comedy Central. So, Spike Jonze tomorrow night, and until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahala. I can deal with the fact that I am gay now.

1:38:13 Caller This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And you're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment.

1:38:24 Caller Loveline is produced by Anne Wilkins Engel.

1:38:26 Caller Now, please listen to this station. Longer.

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Tuesday, November 2, 1999