Episode 1000754887843

0:00 KQBZ Seattle.

0:02 It's turning our cities into battle zones. This stuff is poison.

0:06 This is Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

0:11 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew. I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you. Loveline.

0:28 Adam It is the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, addiction management. Tonight our guest is Filter. We're just combing over the caverns of our mind trying to figure out when Filter was in here last. I know it was in support of the Platinum Short Bus CD. I remember that and therefore it must have been about four years ago. Gino and Steven are both here. What's up?

1:00 Filter What's happening?

1:00 Adam And it's four years since Short Bus, right? So this is Title of Record, which is the latest Filter CD. That's... there hasn't been one in between.

1:12 Filter No.

1:12 Adam I've heard a lot of...

1:13 Filter just a lot of movie soundtrack work.

1:15 Adam Right. Well, so you've been paying the bills and touring.

1:17 Filter I'm sure plenty of that. We toured for two years on Short Bus. So that was, what, eight up two years. And then we built a studio in Chicago.

1:25 Drew My favorite thing about the fact that they haven't been here in four years is that both you and I thought it had been four months.

1:29 Adam I mean...

1:30 Drew That's really the most amazing thing about it.

1:31 Adam To be fair to me, I was thinking more four and a half, five months.

1:34 Drew Okay.

1:35 Adam But I had no idea. Well, the worst case scenario is that you say to a guest who was here four months ago, hey, didn't we see about four years ago? So I think we like the air on the side of this. Yeah, I mean, it's like you guess a woman's weight, go light, you know, don't go heavy. Or when someone says, hey, guess how much I got this sweater for? You don't want to go, you don't want to burst their bubble and go $3. Yeah, you go high, you make them feel good. That's what we do here on Loveline.

2:08 Filter That's good advice.

2:09 Adam We make everybody but the callers, listeners and guests feel good. Right, Drew?

2:13 Drew Yeah, ourselves of course.

2:15 Adam And of course ourselves and our immediate family.

2:17 Drew Whatever.

2:18 Adam I have a, before the extensive filter interview begins, which will consist of, where'd you guys get your name? Okay, let's go to some calls. I got to give out something I haven't done, but I got to plug this away. We're having a man show trampoline cattle call.

2:33 Drew What? Short juggies?

2:35 Adam We're getting girls, no, we got plenty of juggies. We need girls to jump on the trampolines.

2:40 Drew Oh, I thought that was juggies that did that.

2:42 Adam No, we're taking the trampolines to the streets. And we'll be at, Jesus, what's become of my life? Saturday, we're going to be out in Long Beach with the trampoline and the camera crew. And we're going to get you on that trampoline, not you, Drew, but you, the foxy female listener. And you're going to hop them down and we're going to make a star out of you. That's how Marilyn Monroe broke into the business. I don't know if you know that. She was a trampoline girl. So, write this number down. 323-769-5538. 323-769-5538. I'll give that number out later because we got to get the chickadees out there. Now, Filter, what did you get in the name? We will, well, let's see. I think I'll give some, Filter, does everyone live in Chicago? Is everyone from Chicago?

3:34 Filter No, actually Rich and Frank are from Cleveland originally. But they're honorary Chicagoans now. They've lived there for five years and that's right. They've eaten enough at Gene and Georgette's to qualify for Chicago citizenship.

3:46 Adam I'm so jealous.

3:47 Filter And Norbell's too.

3:48 Adam I'm so jealous of people that get to live in a real town.

3:51 Drew With a real usable downtown.

3:53 Filter With real seasons.

3:54 Adam It's like restaurants and seasons and you know, mass transit. I mean, imagine being able, hey, here's a fantasy for all you LA people. Imagine on a Saturday night going downtown, tilting a few beers and then taking some form of public transportation home. Do you know what I mean?

4:14 Drew Does that happen? Where does that happen?

4:16 Adam No, it's never happened. I mean, you get rolled, you get arrested, you get everything but home. Impossible. I'll give some of the dates and locations that the filter is going to land and we'll also hear something off of their new CD. But first, we'll go to the phones. Zach?

4:38 Yeah.

4:38 Hey, Dr. Drew and Adam.

4:39 Adam Hey, you're 15, you sound like 45.

4:41 Caller Yeah.

4:43 Caller It's all a secret.

4:44 Caller What's going on there?

4:45 Caller I was wondering, my question for Dr. Drew. I had a party last weekend and my girlfriend was giving me head and I happened to ejaculate in her eye and I have genital herpes. I was wondering if it would be possible for her to get herpes of the eye.

4:58 Drew Ooh, that's very interesting. You actually can and it can be, and it is devastating when it happens, but you'd have to be having an outbreak.

5:05 Caller Oh, all right.

5:05 Drew I mean, not have to, but generally speaking.

5:07 Adam Wait a minute, wait a minute. He has genital herpes.

5:10 Drew It's not typically carried in the semen.

5:12 Adam Zach's great, he's 15. He sounds like a merchant Marine. Yeah. Yeah, I was banging this Korean bitch when we were on our leave.

5:21 Filter Exactly, as in Bangkok.

5:24 Adam Anyway, the horse started complaining because I got a little something in her eye, so I grabbed my gunny sack and I made for the ship. It's considered international waters when you get on the ship. Anyway, I traded a carton of cigarettes for this other bitch and Zach, you're 15. Yeah. Man, I'm 35. I've managed to dodge the genital herpes bullet. How is it that you picked it up by the tender age of 15?

5:52 Caller I don't know.

5:54 Adam I know.

5:55 Filter I hear you.

5:56 Adam Yeah. Okay.

5:56 Caller A bit too much.

5:58 Adam Yeah, I know. I know what you're saying. A little Loveline recreation.

6:01 Drew Go ahead and give me the question. Zach, how is it by the tender age of 15 you've contracted that herpes bullet?

6:10 Adam Well, that says it all. Brian, so you can't transmit it through semen, can you, Drew?

6:21 Drew If you had an outbreak, there's a lot of ironshine when that happens. The eye is a particularly easy place to get it. It is bad news when it gets there. It's chronic and has all kinds of problems.

6:29 It's worse than pepper spray.

6:31 Drew Well, it doesn't hurt immediately, but it will be worse than pepper spray when it breaks out.

6:35 Adam It'll put a 300 pound man down though, I'll tell you that.

6:38 Drew Oh yeah.

6:38 Adam I've seen it. That's what happened to Sammy Davis Jr. He had that glass eye.

6:44 Drew Was it his semen or somebody else's?

6:46 Adam I don't know. I think it was Frank's. Brian?

6:49 Caller Yo, what up?

6:50 Adam You're 20.

6:51 Caller Hey, how's it going? Dr. Drew, Adam, you guys are the bomb. Adam, I would say you're the shit like Snoop Dogg. The what?

6:58 Filter The shiznit.

6:59 Adam The shiznit? Are you allowed to say that?

7:01 Drew Is that like mayonnaise?

7:03 Adam Yeah, it's my ramp name, mayonnaise.

7:05 Caller Hey, did you guys show the, who saw the video of you at Snoop Dogg's house all stoned?

7:10 Adam Oh, it's gonna air.

7:11 Caller Oh, I wanna see it. Is it gonna be on the Man Show?

7:14 Adam Yeah, it'll be on the Man Show.

7:15 Caller Oh, awesome, man. That Man Show is just something else.

7:17 Adam It won't be for a few months, but I saw it the other day. It's pretty funny.

7:22 Caller Oh, you saw it?

7:23 Adam Yeah, I get to see things early.

7:26 Caller Dr. Drew, I have a question. Lately, in the evening, well, like, I usually smoke a little, but...

7:33 Drew Yeah, well, no, no, no ass.

7:35 Caller I agree, but anyways, I, in, like, the nighttime, my chest starts to, like, feel like, you know, getting shortness of breath.

7:44 Drew Right, which is what that, you know, the pot will do you, it will give you chronic bronchitis better than cigarettes. And there's evidence now that it will also cause emphysema, lung cancer, and just recently associated with cancers of the mouth and tongue.

7:57 Caller And I also have another question of, I have all these little red bumps on my chest, these really small ones. And I want to know if that's, like, if that's related to anything like above bacterial meningitis.

8:13 Drew Why would you come up with meningitis? It's, you have a rash and you jump right to meningitis.

8:18 Adam He was stoned and watching the Learning Channel.

8:23 Caller No, because I came in contact with a nurse who came in contact with a guy who died of meningitis. He's only 22. And he came in too late to the doctor's office or whatever. And they took him straight to the hospital. He died in the ER.

8:36 Drew So basically, that story freaked you out, is really what this is about. All kinds of rashes cause red bumps. A dermatologist needs to look at that. Meningitis, you'd be sick.

8:44 Caller Doesn't that make you, like...

8:45 Adam Nah, don't argue with him. You'd be sick.

8:48 Drew There are small little purple, how can I describe them to you, little nodules you can get with meningitis. Little purple dots almost, they look like. And they're asymmetric. They usually occur in the extremities, off and down the lower extremities. And that's in the throes of an acute illness with high fevers, extreme headache, neck stiffness, and confusion.

9:07 Adam All right, let me ask you, all things I suffer from, by the way, let me ask you something about marijuana versus pot smoke.

9:13 Drew What? Marijuana versus cigarette.

9:15 Adam All right, sorry, versus cigarette smoke. Speaking of being high. Oh, man. Is it, I would say, here would be my layman's guess. I would guess that marijuana smoke itself isn't much more dangerous than the, as far as a carcinogen goes, then or to the respiratory system, then cigarette smoke. But it's the way you smoke it. I mean, you, you, you know, you smoke. I mean, people smoke cigarettes while they're talking on the phone and jogging and stuff. When you smoke pot, it's like, yeah. And then you try to hold it in and you try to get as much in as you can. You try to keep it in as long as you can.

9:51 Drew It's worse for your airways as far as that goes. But people smoke cigarettes all day long and get the problems that people get smoking pot twice a day.

9:59 Adam Yeah. But think about, I mean, it's like, I said, how you do it. But all right. But let's just let's let's and maybe this isn't right. Maybe it's not analogous. Let's say you have a couple of glasses. You can have a couple of glasses of wine and a night for the rest of your life and not have any effects or you can drink a gallon of wine every night and be in pretty bad shape in 10 years. Right. Is it sort of the same thing?

10:23 Caller Thank you.

10:23 Drew No, it's not the same.

10:25 Caller Well, we got to go to the phone.

10:26 Adam Erica, I think the band knew I had a point somewhere along the line there. Am I right, guys? Yeah, whatever you say.

10:32 Filter We're still testing those theories or our studies are not complete.

10:36 Adam The data is not in that.

10:38 Caller Erica?

10:39 Hello?

10:40 Adam Erica, you're 18. Turn your radio down.

10:43 Caller Okay.

10:43 Adam All right.

10:44 Caller I'm sorry.

10:44 Caller I'm recording.

10:45 Adam Okay.

10:46 Caller Okay, my question for Dr. Drew.

10:48 Drew Yeah.

10:48 Caller Um, every time I masturbate, a little urine comes out and I was wondering if it was normal.

10:54 Drew It's not normal or abnormal, but it's common.

10:56 Caller It's common?

10:57 Drew Yeah.

10:57 Caller What causes it?

10:58 Drew It's just one of those things when the muscles contract, you loosen up in the bladder neck and something comes out.

11:04 Caller Okay.

11:05 Drew It's part of the contractions of the pelvic musculature associated with orgasm for some women.

11:10 Caller Okay.

11:11 Thank you.

11:11 Caller Can I say hi to the band?

11:13 Drew They're right here.

11:13 Filter What's going on?

11:14 Richard, man, I love you so much.

11:17 Filter Richie's not here.

11:18 Caller Sorry, hon.

11:20 Where is he?

11:21 Adam Chino and Steven are here.

11:22 Filter We'll pass it along to them now.

11:23 Oh, man.

11:24 Filter Oh, man.

11:25 No, I love you guys, too.

11:27 Filter Oh, well, thank you.

11:28 Caller I want to see you guys on Saturday at the Warfield.

11:30 I can't wait.

11:31 Caller You guys are awesome. Cool.

11:32 Filter Cool. Thank you.

11:33 You can't wait to be there.

11:35 Caller Thank you.

11:36 Adam All right.

11:36 Caller Bye.

11:37 Adam All right. I'm guessing she was calling from San Francisco. And by the way, that'll be what day is at the Warfield? Saturday.

11:44 Filter Saturday.

11:45 Adam What the hell is the day today?

11:46 Filter Today is the second, right?

11:48 Adam Today's the second, right?

11:49 Filter No, no, no.

11:50 Adam Wait a minute. Today's the first. Today's the first.

11:51 Drew All right.

11:53 Adam Wait a minute. Why does this say 3-2 at the Warfield in San Francisco on...

11:58 Drew That's tomorrow.

11:59 Adam I know, but what day is it today? That can't be Saturday.

12:03 Filter That's off.

12:04 Adam Little typo.

12:05 Filter Little typo. That's normal.

12:07 Adam Yeah. Cole?

12:08 Hey.

12:09 Adam You're 16.

12:10 Caller Yeah, I just wanted to know, do you guys play all age shows?

12:15 Filter Oh, that's a good question. We do sometimes. More often than not, though, they're 18 and over, or actually they're mostly, they're 21 and over.

12:25 Caller Yeah, I was just wondering, do you guys think it's like a bad influence for younger kids? Like you too, Adam and Dr. Drew, if you guys thought it was like a bad influence.

12:34 Adam For what?

12:34 Filter For what do you mean, our music?

12:36 Caller No, not your music, like if kids went to an all-age show, is it like, because some adults would sneak in drugs or something, I was just wondering if you think it's like a bad influence because some-

12:47 Drew It depends on the show, it depends on the kid, it depends on how much supervision they have, that kind of thing.

12:51 Caller Yeah.

12:52 Filter Yeah, I mean, we've had shows where the parents are there.

12:54 Drew Yeah, I was gonna say, I really believe the ultimate issue is the parenting, not the society which the parenting is being done. It makes it more difficult to do good parenting when you have to- I said it was an interview, I just found out tonight with me at People Magazine about my unhappiness with the primetime television. My kids and I were sitting down on the TV watching Friends, and I thought, you know, it's just tame stuff. Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, it's references to pornography, it's references to every third sentence is something to second forever.

13:22 Adam Well, your kids are six, they shouldn't be watching TV. They should be in bed by the time the street lights are on.

13:28 Drew You gotta do the parenting. Parenting is being done.

13:31 Adam Speaking of parenting, I had a bizarre situation happen last night. I was at the Korn concert last night at Anaheim, that's why I was a little bit late to the Loveline gig. I was filming something for the Man Show and I was decked out in full Korn garb because the bit was behind the music when me and my partner Jimmy were in the band Korn way back when and I had dreadlocks and I had nose piercings and lip piercings and I was hardcore all the way. And so was Jimmy and at a certain point, even though I was walking around that way, people recognized me. It was kind of bizarre and a testament to my immense celebrity. Kids were sawing me. So these kids stopped me that were in a luxury box up top at the Anaheim Pond. And they said, Oh my God, Adam, Oh Jimmy, hey, come in here. They're a bunch of like 14 year old kids. And there was a luxury box and it was about 15, 14 year old kids and their two parents, which looked like they just got off a bus from Indiana, you know, like, you know, well into their fifties, sitting there at the corn concert. And then the parent and so the kids were like, Oh my God, it's Adam. Oh, it's Jimmy. Hey, come here, come here, mom, dad. This is Adam and Jimmy. And they're like, Oh, who are these guys in their mid thirties with the lip piercings and the dreadlocks and the corn sweatshirt and the chains all around their neck. And so the kids are like, these guys are on TV and their parents are like, Uh, why? And the music was playing and I couldn't really like, I wanted to like explain to them, Listen, I'm with you. I'd rather be home napping myself. Don't get me wrong or watching Hee Haw or The 700 Club. This is all a get up. There's no context to it. And it wasn't worth explaining to them, but the kids were going nuts that were in their luxury box. So we watched a corn in a luxury box. That's great. It was a good show. And she's like blowing up the stage and doing all that important rock and roll stuff.

15:32 Caller Michelle, there you go.

15:33 Hello.

15:34 Adam You're 22. What's up?

15:35 Caller I am. I just want to know if it's because I'm not very experienced and I haven't had a lot of stuff done to me or not. But whenever I do, I don't really have much feeling like my breath. I don't have a feeling. I can hardly tell when someone's touching me. Or if someone is inside me, I can't really feel that any anything. So most of the time I'm just like, OK.

16:00 Drew Anything we should know about your medical history or body makeup?

16:05 Caller No, I'm a virgin.

16:06 Drew Are you? How do you know it feels like having somebody in you then?

16:10 Caller Well, I've had other things in me.

16:12 Adam You have? Like a curling iron, stuff like that?

16:17 Caller Well, I don't know.

16:19 Adam What do you have in you? Fingers.

16:23 Caller Vibrators.

16:24 Adam Still attached to the hand? Yeah. What the vibrators?

16:29 Caller Wow.

16:30 Drew Are you smoking a bunch of pot?

16:32 Caller No.

16:32 Drew Because she's got that laugh.

16:34 Filter Are you an avid bicyclist?

16:36 Caller No.

16:37 Filter I thought that caused his decency.

16:38 Drew Yeah, yeah.

16:39 Adam Good question, though. Are you religious?

16:44 Caller No.

16:45 Drew Are you overweight?

16:47 Caller Am I what?

16:48 Adam Overweight.

16:48 Drew You're fat.

16:49 Caller True. Please.

16:50 Adam No.

16:51 Drew Have you ever been sexually abused?

16:54 Caller Not really.

16:55 Drew What was it that not really happened?

16:58 Caller When I was like eight or nine, my babysitter had me suck on her breast, but I really don't think that has anything to do with it.

17:08 Adam How many times? Jesus Christ. Where were all these sitters when I was coming out? I got like the fat pissed off dude from college. She was like, hey, lights out.

17:18 Caller Let's go.

17:20 Adam I'm going to go in your folks room and ransack the place looking for a playboy. You go to bed.

17:26 Drew Michelle, I swear you got that pot laugh. Really?

17:29 Adam You're smoking weed, Michelle.

17:31 Caller No, I'm not. I swear.

17:32 Drew Okay. All right.

17:35 Adam Is you're not that religious. You had a baby. How old was the babysitter that you sucked on when you were?

17:41 Caller Oh, four years older. So I guess around 13.

17:44 Drew Is it possible that other weird stuff went on you don't remember?

17:48 Caller No.

17:50 Adam All right. So what's up with you then?

17:52 Caller I don't know. I just want to know if it's possibly because I don't.

17:57 Adam Why is it?

17:58 Caller Touched very often? Would it increase if?

18:01 Adam Why in your estimation haven't you had sex yet?

18:05 Caller Because I'm waiting for the right person.

18:09 Adam Really?

18:09 Drew Why hasn't the right person come along?

18:11 Caller What happened?

18:12 Drew Why hasn't he come along? Or she?

18:14 Caller I don't date. It's not really that important to me.

18:18 Adam All right. Well, here's the deal with women. Not with guys, but with women. Your emotions are connected to your nerve endings. Yeah. I mean, if you're shut down emotionally, then you're shut down physically. If you can't feel anything emotionally, you can't feel anything physically.

18:34 Drew Right. So we're wondering.

18:35 Adam And you don't want to date. You don't want to get involved. You don't want to commit. You don't want to be vulnerable. So all that stuff translates in the physical stuff. Cause if the physical stuff felt good, then you'd miss it. Then you'd have to get into a relationship. Then you'd be vulnerable. Ooh, I should do this for a living. I'm really starting to catch you on here. You know what I mean? I gotta compliment myself every once in a while.

18:58 Drew I surely wouldn't.

18:59 Adam I'd squeeze Drew like a bar rag. I couldn't get a compliment out of him.

19:02 Drew No way, Jose.

19:03 Adam Alright, so Michelle, check in to all that. You're nuttier than you think. That's my message.

19:09 Drew Are you on any medications?

19:10 Caller Oh, thanks. No.

19:11 Drew And no medical problems?

19:12 Caller Hey, I'm driving home from a very prestigious job right now.

19:15 Adam Who cares?

19:16 Caller I'm very straight minded, doing the drugs.

19:19 Adam What is your prestigious job, by the way?

19:22 Caller I work in law enforcement.

19:25 Adam That scares me. What part of it?

19:28 Caller Um, communications.

19:32 Adam Oh, you answer the 911 calls?

19:35 Caller Kind of.

19:36 Adam All right. See? I know what that is. All right. Hey, Michelle? Yes. Do me a favor. First off, if anyone calls more than twice a year, you hang up on them. I don't like these people monopolizing the 911 lines. I got a very strong hunch that 90 percent of the calls to 911 are the same batch of A-holes in the repeating calls over and over. Michelle?

20:01 Caller Yes.

20:01 Adam You ever talk to the same person twice?

20:03 Caller Oh, yeah.

20:04 Adam Yeah.

20:05 Drew Like 90 percent of the time, it's the same person.

20:07 Adam Well, it's the same group. It's the same group. And here's the thing. I have never called 911.

20:12 Caller Ever.

20:13 Adam Never.

20:14 Caller Never.

20:15 Caller I don't know how long it's going to be. It'll be busy.

20:17 Adam It'll be busy because some A-hole who's called for the 15th time this month because him and his wife are getting into it is going to be tying up the line. My cat had a heart attack. What should I do?

20:32 Caller That one actually called tonight.

20:34 Adam Really?

20:35 Caller Yeah.

20:35 Adam Someone's cat had a heart attack?

20:37 Caller Oh, every other night. I swear to God.

20:40 Drew Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

20:42 Adam Did someone call because their cat had a heart attack?

20:44 Drew No, that's not exactly what they called about.

20:46 Caller No.

20:47 Drew Okay.

20:47 Adam Well, what was it?

20:49 Caller Well, you get people who are a little off and they think their cats are talking to them.

20:54 Adam Okay.

20:54 Caller All right.

20:54 Adam I'll tell you. Listen to me. When I'm in charge, when I'm in charge, here's what's going to go down. I'm going to have cops and then I'm going to have what I call the janitors, mop up crew. And, you know, we're going to go like, yeah, we're going to need a clean up on Mockingbird Lane 11752. And they're going to go over there and they're just going to mop up. These are people that are monopolizing the goddamn system. I swear to God, I'm going to be getting sodomized in my basement by a gang of thugs who had broken into my house and that 911 is going to be booked up because these idiots are calling for the fifth time in one night. I want cops that, I'm telling you, if you go to a house more than twice in a year, I want the third time I want a bullet in someone's hat. I don't, Drew, where are you going?

21:42 Drew You wrap up your diatribe. I gotta call the hospital.

21:45 Adam You can't wait 35 seconds? Unacceptable. Come on, half an ounce of professionalism. All right, who are you calling?

21:52 Drew The hospital.

21:53 Adam What do they want?

21:53 Drew That's, I gotta find out.

21:55 Adam All right, well, let's just hang out and see what they're doing. Let's talk to Filter. Hey, how are you guys doing? We're doing good.

22:02 We're getting entertained here.

22:03 Caller Yeah, we are.

22:04 Adam Yeah, we are.

22:04 Caller This is...

22:05 Adam Oh, it's an education. Let's see if Drew got through the hospital yet. Drew, you through? Okay. You can't wait till the commercial break?

22:13 Drew You told me to go out and you told me to call.

22:15 Adam I told you to call? When did I tell you to call?

22:18 Call.

22:18 Caller Don't call.

22:18 Call.

22:19 Caller Don't call.

22:20 Adam Did I tell you to call?

22:21 Drew That's what I understood you to say to me.

22:22 Adam When you were sitting down?

22:23 Drew No, no, no, no.

22:24 Adam No, of course. Well, now you're standing up by the phone, of course. All right, we'll take a little break. Dr. Filters here. Drew is on the phone doing every job that the one he should be doing. And we'll be back after this.

22:40 We'll be right back with more.

22:53 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

23:14 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew, Gino and Stephen are both here from Filter. Hey there. Title of record is the name of the CD, by the way. Go ahead, I'm sorry, Stephen. I said hello. Oh, okay.

23:28 Filter He just wanted to say hi, this is Steve. Now this is Gino, that's Steve.

23:31 Adam This is Steve. Drew, what did the hospital say?

23:35 Drew You'll be joining us now. Somebody with constipation, abdominal pain. You'll be happy to know.

23:41 Adam Do you have to get up? You have to get up to do that?

23:43 Drew You know what I need? No, no, you know what I need? No, here's what I need. What do you need? I need one of those internet pagers.

23:51 Filter Yeah, a text pager.

23:52 Drew Yeah, a text pager. That's what I've got to get to so I can see and make a judgment about whether I should be getting out. All I know is a hospital is calling me, I've got to go. I've got to call.

24:00 Adam Yeah, well, you call. You're calling a minute and a half, two minutes. You don't call in 15, 20 seconds.

24:06 Drew What you don't know is I've got sometimes very, very sick people I'm worried about and they call me. Hey, I'm sitting here as opposed to worrying about it and you know what I mean, not paying attention to the show because I'm concerned about what they're calling me about.

24:17 Adam I see.

24:17 Filter See, growing up, I saw this every day.

24:19 Drew Your dad is a doctor.

24:20 Filter My dad is a doctor and he'll get up at one in the morning, four in the morning, six in the morning, you know, get up in the middle of dinner. He's got to take the call, you know, and it's just like...

24:30 Adam Couldn't imagine.

24:31 Filter It's nuts. I got two brothers who are doctors too.

24:34 Adam I shut my ringer off when I go to bed at night because the idea that a phone may even ring is upsetting to me. I can't sleep.

24:41 Filter What's the schedule? You're like on call for one day and then you're off?

24:44 Drew No, I pretty much take most of my own call. I have a small practice. I take it every day. Seven days a week when I'm here.

24:50 Adam All right. Let's not destroy the entire show with Drew's practice.

24:53 Drew There we go.

24:56 Adam Yes. So we're going to hear something off of the new Filter CD. Just one second. Yeah, I think we'll take a quick call, though. That call would be Larry of 16. Larry?

25:08 Yeah?

25:09 Adam What's up?

25:10 Yeah.

25:11 Caller Well, I was originally going to ask about butt plugs, but I came up, I just was thinking in...

25:19 Adam Oh, shut up.

25:21 Caller Wolf eject on Larry.

25:24 Adam I'll put Larry on hold for another hour, and then we'll talk.

25:26 Caller He's qualified!

25:27 Drew For letting you down about not talking about butt plugs?

25:29 Adam Yes.

25:30 Drew Yeah, I thought that's what it was about.

25:31 Filter I saw that tear forming in the corner of his eye.

25:33 Adam You're lucky. You guys are all lucky I'm still in denial about this. Larry will be back with his butt plug. I know it. I know it.

25:41 Filter Drew is going to step out to make a call and connect out with Larry out there.

25:44 Caller Let's go field some butt plug calls.

25:46 Drew Wolf, what's going on?

25:46 Wolf? Yeah, what's going on?

25:48 Adam What's happening, Holmes?

25:50 Oh man, my girlfriend got a bladder infection, right?

25:55 Drew Right.

25:56 And she thinks it's my fault.

25:58 Drew Well, do you have sex with her?

26:00 Yeah.

26:00 Drew It is your fault.

26:01 What? How does it?

26:03 Caller I mean, I don't know how that happened.

26:04 Drew Well, if you're, the pressure you apply to her pelvis pushes bacteria up into her bladder.

26:11 Oh man.

26:12 Drew It used to be called honeymoon cystitis.

26:15 Right.

26:15 Caller Oh man, that sucks.

26:16 Adam Now it's called roofy cystitis. It's a different society we're living in.

26:20 Oh man.

26:24 Adam Drew got that in 10 minutes. All right. Well, it's all your fault. Well, here's the better, the good news. You can blame your penis. It's not your fault.

26:32 Caller Well, I have...

26:33 Drew Make sure she gets treated because this can be very serious if it gets up into the kidneys.

26:37 Adam Now what's the difference between a bladder infection and a urine infection?

26:40 Drew Same.

26:40 Adam Same thing.

26:41 Drew All right. But the problem is what people mistake is a kidney infection and a bladder infection.

26:46 That's a May May mayonnaise.

26:47 Adam I see. Wow.

26:49 Drew Did he play that or did you play that? He did that.

26:52 Adam Was that him? Hey, Wolf?

26:53 Caller Yeah.

26:54 Adam Did you say that?

26:55 Caller Yeah.

26:56 Adam Well, say it again.

26:57 Caller That's a May May mayonnaise.

26:58 Filter Wow.

27:00 Drew Sounds like Snoop sped up.

27:02 Filter Yeah. It sounds like a sample there, pal.

27:05 Adam All right. Let me hear that against Snoop's one. Do you have that?

27:09 Caller That's my May May mayonnaise.

27:13 Adam That's my rap name, fellas. I'm down with all the colors, right, Drew?

27:17 Drew The what?

27:18 Adam The colors of the rainbow.

27:20 Drew I see.

27:21 Adam I mean all the nationalities. I mean the colors.

27:23 Filter So Drew, is it in a wives' tale that cranberry juice is a good cure?

27:27 Drew It's not a cure. Once you got an infection, that's pretty much it. You got to get it treated at that point. But cranberry juice and the way it adjusts the pH in the urine and the flow of volume through the bladder will decrease the risk. But most women, they get this recurrently. It's a mess. They have to be on antibiotics all the time or every time they have sex and pain in the neck.

27:46 Adam That's why.

27:47 Filter Sorry, my friend.

27:48 Caller All right.

27:49 Adam Should we hear something from her?

27:50 Drew That's why what? That's why you don't have sex.

27:52 Caller Why?

27:52 Adam Because I don't want to bring this kind of pain on women?

27:54 Drew Right.

27:55 Adam That's right. I don't think my penis is long enough to push things up. You know what I mean?

28:00 Drew Or just to push, period.

28:02 Adam Yeah. I see it as, you know, I could see myself.

28:06 Filter They have hair extensions. Maybe they have penis extensions.

28:09 Adam I could see myself getting just past the hairline and into the actual vagina, but not pushing anything, pushing anything up. You know, all those parts in there that get jiggled around? No. It's kind of like, you know how like when you're a kid, you thought you could get a candy bar out of a vending machine so you slid your hand up the trap there and you're feeling around, but you never could quite get to the Snickers bar.

28:33 Filter That's why you knock the machine over and then they all fall down and then you can free rain.

28:39 Adam Euphemism for rape or something?

28:42 Caller All right, Drew.

28:44 Adam Why don't you make another phone call because we're going to hear something for Filter. Oh, and by the way, before we hear the Filter song, I may want to bring this up. The Man Show is on Comedy Central right now.

28:56 Drew Whatever.

28:57 Adam I'm going to give the phone number out for the Man Show.

28:59 Drew Is this a new one or a repeat?

29:01 Adam It's brand new if you haven't seen it before. Would you shut up, Drew? I'll give the number out for the Trampoline Cattle Call when we come back.

29:10 Drew More importantly, yeah.

29:11 Adam But now let's get to the business of Filter and this is called Take a Picture. That is Take a Picture. I did just take a picture, and it could. From Filter off of Title of Record. That's a good song. I didn't even know, I didn't know that was you guys. I'd been hearing that song on the radio and enjoying it, and I didn't know who the hell I was. That's us. That's us. All right, everybody, that's Filter. Dr. Drew's over there. I'm Adam Corolla. Gene and Stephen are both here. And let me give the Man Show Trampoline Cattle Call. We got to get chicks out to this thing, Drew. It's very important. Three, two, three. This is the phone number you call for this Saturday. Three, two, three, seven, six, nine, five, five, three, eight. And I'll be giving that out again before the night is over. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Danielle, there's Man Show on over there. Are we in a commercial? No, it's on. Unacceptable. All right, commercial. Commercial, commercial. Wait, it's on now. All right, we're going to watch that. We'll be back after this.

36:02 Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

36:05 Adam Well, it's worth hearing.

36:08 Unacceptable.

36:39 Adam It's the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Gino and Stephen are both here from Filter. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And let's hop back on the phones and speak to Joe, who's 20.

36:54 Caller Joe?

36:55 Caller Hello?

36:56 Adam Hello, Joe.

36:57 Caller Hey, I wanted to know, I've been going out with this girl, she's like 50 years old, she's my neighbor.

37:02 Drew Girl?

37:04 Caller What's that? Girl? Yeah, well, she's my neighbor.

37:07 Adam Yeah. Well, you don't become a young lady until 65, 70.

37:11 Drew But it's also interesting that just because of proximity, it's her best friend, it's a girl.

37:16 Adam Right.

37:17 Drew She lives with his neighbor.

37:18 Adam She's 50?

37:19 Filter The girl next door. Yeah, it's a girl.

37:21 Caller She's loving you, man.

37:22 Adam And you met her because you were part of the Meals on Wheels program?

37:27 Caller No, she's part of like a friend of the family. She's not bad looking at all for a 50-year-old. Right. But the thing is, she wants us to be seen in public now.

37:39 Drew She wants to be a couple?

37:40 Caller Yeah.

37:41 Drew Did she just get out of a divorce or something?

37:43 Caller No. She's never been married. That's the thing.

37:46 Drew Did she just get out of a bad relationship or anything?

37:49 Caller Well, I'm not really sure.

37:51 Drew Because in our experience, women that are more mature who suddenly start dating very young men often are coming back from some bad experience.

38:01 Adam Yeah. But on the other hand, she's 50. She's never been married. Is this her house she's living in?

38:08 Caller Yeah. She has her own house. I mean, she's...

38:12 Adam Did she buy it or did her parents kick off?

38:14 Caller No. She has her own house. She's financially stable and everything, you know.

38:18 Adam Right. And you're what? Living at home? Yeah. And so your parents are friends with her because you guys have been neighbors for a long time, right?

38:27 Caller Yeah.

38:29 Adam And what is... She sounds a little shaky. Why do you think she's never been married?

38:35 Caller I just... You know, I never asked.

38:37 Adam You know what I like about Joe? He doesn't sweat the details.

38:39 Filter He doesn't sweat the details at all.

38:41 Adam So how long have you lived in the house that you're in, Joe?

38:45 Caller About four years.

38:46 Adam And she's always been your neighbor?

38:48 Caller Yeah.

38:49 Adam And when did the sexual relationship fire up between you two?

38:53 Caller About three months ago.

38:55 Caller Uh-huh.

38:56 Adam And how did that happen? She fell down and couldn't get up and you went over there? What happened?

39:01 Caller No. The thing was I was cutting your yard.

39:07 Caller He had his shirt off. He was mowing the lawn.

39:08 Filter She's like, come on in here, honey.

39:10 Adam You want some iced tea?

39:12 Caller There you go.

39:13 Drew This is quick.

39:15 Adam Let me show you how I squeeze the lemon. Yeah, there you go.

39:19 Caller I've been doing this for a long time, honey.

39:21 Adam You, uh, so you started, uh, you started up with her and, uh, and now she wants to, uh, you know, turn it into more of a relationship and you guys start going out, right?

39:33 Caller Well, uh, we're sort of like in a relationship, but she wants to be seen in public and.

39:38 Adam Right.

39:39 Caller I'm not sure if I should like, you know.

39:41 Drew That's not really a relationship when you don't want to be seen in public.

39:43 Adam What do you think her parent, uh, her parents, you know, her parents are dead. But what do you think your parents would think if they knew about this?

39:51 Caller Uh, I'll probably freak out or kick me out or something.

39:55 Adam Right.

39:55 Drew Well, I'm not going to kick you out, but I'll tell you what. If you can, you either need to extricate yourself from this and stop seeing her or have like a heart to heart with her. It's like, what are we doing here? You know, this is the.

40:09 Filter What is being seen in public?

40:10 Drew She wants, she wants to start having a real relationship with her.

40:14 Filter They're like presenting themselves to her and shop together.

40:17 Drew They go to parties together and stuff with a couple.

40:20 Filter Right?

40:21 Caller Yeah, something like that.

40:22 Adam What does she do for a living?

40:24 Caller She's a bank clerical team.

40:27 Adam Uh-huh. And you don't want to go out and be seen with her.

40:31 Caller Yeah, that's right.

40:32 Adam Why? Are you scared that your parents will find out or that your friends or what are you scared of?

40:37 Caller Well, my sister and a couple of my friends know that we're kind of like messing around. But I just don't want, like, you know, Tulare is like a real small town, you know, and I just don't want people to know, you know.

40:52 Adam Right. I understand. All right, well, maybe you have to break things up, but Joe, maybe you should be going out with, you know, younger women, women in their forties and late thirties.

41:02 Drew Just, just, I think, I think, be honest with her, just think, hey, this is just, this is ridiculous.

41:06 Filter Yeah. We're just chalking up to a little funny experience he had growing up and move on.

41:10 Adam Yeah. It'll be one of those good stories that sickens your wife five years from now, you know. You'll make the mistake of having a few beers and telling them how you're banging a 50-year-old neighbor. Don't worry, your wife will weave that into every conversation and every argument.

41:24 Drew But now, careful, I mean, this poor woman is getting an attachment to this guy.

41:28 Adam Right.

41:28 Drew And it needs to stop before it gets out of control.

41:31 Adam That is, that is the beauty of being a woman. You know, you women complain a lot about being women, but only women can see a guy like mowing their lawn and go, hey, come here.

41:42 Drew Yeah, I'm right in.

41:42 Adam Get down there. Get busy. Why? You're still on the clock. Oh, OK. Hey, turn your hat backwards, would you?

41:50 Drew The guys don't actually stop and say why, do they? No, they don't even take that beat.

41:54 Adam No, I mean, a 50 year old woman, a guy can be 20 mowing the lawn as they get in here.

41:58 Filter This is our fantasy, man.

42:00 Adam It's totally.

42:01 Filter Yeah. These are like our typo fantasies, aren't they? You know, the older woman.

42:04 Adam Hey, our fantasy just may get a woman to mow the lawn. Forget about the sex.

42:08 Caller 50 year old woman to mow the lawn.

42:11 Adam What name is that? Lara? Lara? Is it what?

42:15 Caller Lara?

42:16 Adam Lara?

42:17 Caller Yeah.

42:17 Adam Is that like Laura?

42:19 Caller Sort of.

42:20 Adam But Lara?

42:21 Caller Yeah.

42:21 Adam Yeah, that's how my my uncle from Philadelphia would pronounce Laura.

42:27 Drew God, I'm going to Philadelphia tomorrow. And I was thinking about that guy we had driving the car for us in Philadelphia.

42:31 Adam Yeah, he was great.

42:32 Drew Oh my God.

42:33 Adam Yeah, he did a lot of talking. What was he? What was his? Oh, man, the guy, the guy drove the town car was toting us all over town.

42:44 Drew He was drove us to Maryland.

42:45 Adam It was about 5'4. He went about 3'25. He was explaining his diet regimen, which is always, it's always funny when real big fat guys are explaining the diet regimen. And the other thing is, is he'd start every sentence with, listen, it's none of my business, but how big's your Johnson? You know, like whenever-

43:06 Drew I stand out of everybody's business. I don't ask anybody anything.

43:09 Adam Right. But you and your wife, what do you, what can I put you down for? Twice a week? I mean, whenever someone starts a sentence with, listen, I ain't one of these buddhinskies, but then it's a very prying question is, is what comes out of their mouth. It's right up there with that. When someone says, I'd like to help, that means you'll get no help. Zero help. The people that announce they'd like to, you'll get nothing out of. All right, Lara, you're 15. What's up?

43:36 Caller Well, I wanted to ask two questions. One really quick. My friend is pregnant. And the doctors told her that if her boyfriend is giving her oral sex, that if he blows, it can hurt the baby or kill the baby. Is that true?

43:50 Drew Well, I suppose there's a theoretic chance that it's also going to hurt her.

43:55 Adam How old is she?

43:56 Caller She's 17.

43:57 Adam Beautiful.

43:58 Drew It's, yeah.

44:01 Adam Where are you calling from?

44:02 Caller You don't want to blow her up like a balloon, you know.

44:03 Adam Where are you calling from, Lara?

44:05 Caller Homewood.

44:06 Adam Homewood?

44:07 Caller Yeah.

44:07 Drew Homewood, what state?

44:08 Caller Illinois.

44:09 Adam Yeah. So maybe your name really is Laura. You know what I'm saying?

44:13 Drew No, people don't screw up their names in that state.

44:15 Adam They don't do the Lara?

44:16 Caller No, no, no.

44:17 Adam What I mean is...

44:18 Drew Oh, that they're pronouncing it Laura.

44:19 Adam If her name is technically Laura, but everyone calls her, hey, Laura, come here. Maybe it just turned into Laura.

44:26 Caller It's spelled L-A-R-A.

44:27 Adam Yeah, because your parents said, well, let's save the argument. Yeah, let's just go with the flow. All right, so your 17-year-old friends, somebody told her that if it's performing oral sex, it's brain injury.

44:40 Drew It's possible. There's also a theory that you can create an air embolism into the pelvic veins, which I think it's been reported once.

44:47 Adam No, it's not going to kill the kid.

44:48 Drew What's your other question?

44:50 Caller Well, I was going out with someone, and I broke up with him because I cheated on him with another guy. And the other guy, you know, we had talked, and we just like, I liked him, and I told him then he told me he liked me or whatever. And I guess you could say we were kind of seeing each other.

45:08 Drew This is the guy you had cheated with, not cheated on.

45:13 Adam Right.

45:13 Drew Okay.

45:14 Adam So what's the question?

45:15 Caller Um, well, he's kind of pressuring me into sex, like really soon. And I don't usually have sex this soon, but...

45:23 Drew How old is this guy?

45:24 Caller Eighteen.

45:25 Adam You're fifteen?

45:26 Drew Don't do it.

45:27 Adam How many guys you slept with?

45:28 Filter Don't do it. Don't let him pressure you. Don't let him pressure you.

45:31 Adam How many guys you've been with?

45:33 Caller Two.

45:34 Adam Well, slow down.

45:35 Drew You will be very unhappy if you do this, really.

45:37 Caller But he says like we're just, he's like, we're really good friends, you know, and...

45:42 Drew If he's a good friend, he'll listen to you.

45:43 Caller What is this, friends with benefits? And I'm like, you know, is there going to be a relationship out of this? And he's saying like he likes me and everything, but he doesn't know yet because he works all the time, which he does.

45:56 Adam Yeah.

45:56 Caller And he works from seven o'clock at night till seven in the morning.

45:59 Drew He's making excuses already. How about when he went...

46:01 Caller Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that, but there's other things that make me think that he really does like me.

46:06 Drew Well, then give him a little, give it a little time. Let him show you that.

46:08 Adam Don't have sex.

46:09 Drew You've got good instincts.

46:10 Caller Yeah, that's what he said. I told him he was making me uncomfortable the other day at my friend's house because I was saying, you know, it feels like you just...

46:17 Drew Hey, Laura, you know what? You don't need us. Seriously, you're doing right.

46:21 Adam Don't do it. And don't get drunk with him.

46:23 Filter She smells a rat.

46:24 Adam Stay out of his van. I mean, what does he drive?

46:28 Caller I want to have...

46:29 Adam Shut up. What kind of car does he drive?

46:32 Caller A Mustang.

46:33 Adam All right. Stay out of it.

46:34 Drew You want to have it if there's a relationship attached to it. You don't want to have it if he's not going to be there when it's all over.

46:39 Adam All right. All right there, Laura.

46:41 Caller Okay.

46:41 Adam Okay. Keep your legs crossed. All right. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

46:46 Caller Okay.

46:46 Adam Okay. Fantabulous. We're going to take ourselves a little time out. When we come back, we'll speak to Larry, who we spoke to briefly about 45 minutes ago. He has a butt plug question. We'll hope to get to that after this. Oh yeah, that's how you get it done, Drew.

47:41 Caller All right, it's Love Line.

47:41 Adam We'll take a quick ten-second timeout. We'll be right back after this.

47:45 Caller This is Love Line on Radio Station.

47:51 Caller Outrageous talk radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBZ.

47:56 Caller Yeah.

48:01 Adam Does my mic work like a charm? It worked like a charm. It got right up to first class.

48:06 Drew It's very funny.

48:08 Adam It is Loveline. Gino and Stephen are both here from Filter. Title of Records, the name of the CD. We're just talking about one of the times. One of the many, one of the many times I got loaded. We're getting on an airplane to go do Jenny Jones. We're supposed to fly first class. There was a little mix up. I was in coach and I, I started heading home.

48:29 Drew It's screaming at everybody and heading home.

48:31 Adam No, I was glad. I was like, good. I'm going to get back in the bed and I'm going to forget all about this nightmare. And I should have too. Sons of bitches. You know what happened? I got to tell the story. You get used to first class, you can't go back. No. Yes. Yes. I want to fly the plane now. This is my old thing. I keep moving out.

48:50 Caller I want to sit in the cockpit.

48:52 Adam Here's what happened. Boy, do I hate this business. This is a couple of years ago now, right? We're going to do two Jenny Jones love lines back to back. Me and Drew are just going to sit up on stage and field questions for an hour, two shows back to back. We get out of this show at midnight. I get home by 1230. By the time I'm done having at myself and my Santeria. By the time I get done with the chickens and everything, it's like 130. I don't go to bed until two. I just can't do it. And to get out to Chicago and do the Jenny Jones show at 3 o'clock with the time difference and blah, blah, blah, we had like a 645, 7 o'clock flight, which meant I went to bed at 2 and got up at 5, 515 to get out to LAX. So I wasn't in any condition. I was going to sleep on the plane. But I said to the Jenny Jones folks, here's the deal. I'm going to come into town. I'm going to be so tired. I'm not even going to be able to see straight. It's going to be hard to do two one hour shows when I'm completely out of it. It's the hotel nearby because we could go. Oh yeah. You remember this one, Drew? We could go from O'Hare in Chicago. I'll go straight to the hotel, grab a shower. All I need is 45 minutes, maybe an hour. I'll just stretch out. I'll lie down. And then you just come get me when you're ready to go. And I don't need much prep. Drew, as you know, for this show or any show just about, I only need about 10 minutes and I'm ready to rock and roll. It'll be much more important for me to get a little bit of sleep, get my bearings straight because I won't even know where I am. And they said, that's impossible. You have to go right from the airport to the Jenny Jones studio because they're going to be ready to rock and roll. We'll not have time.

50:35 Drew You're barely going to make it.

50:35 Adam The hotel's too far. We won't have time to go to the hotel and come get you and bring you over here. We're ready. We're going to be ready to go. So I said, all right, well, where's the hotel? It's out of the way.

50:44 Drew No way. Impossible. We've looked into it. We've, you know, faced it out as possible.

50:48 Adam We're going in here. It's OK. So we get to, we get, we get to Chicago at, I don't know, one thirty. We get to the Jenny Jones studio at, you know, two, two fifteen. And we're not doing our first show to like four fifteen, four thirty. I sleep on the floor of the green room for the worst hour and a half of my life while people are walking in and stepping over me. I'm not on a cot. I don't have a, I don't have a pillow or anything. I just sprawled out on the floor. And Jenny Jones interns are like coming in. Sorry, Mr. Growl, flip the light on. We need you to sign this. Thank you. All right. Let's step back over me and go back out again. Like I couldn't assign a goddamn paperwork when I'm sitting in the makeup chair in an hour. But anyway, step, I'm miserable. My back's bad now. I sleep on a concrete slab. We do these two god awful Jenny Jones shows and I go, listen, it's now six thirty at night or whatever. We got a broadcast from Chicago that night with the time difference of like from one to three. Where's the car? I go, listen, let's just get to the car and get to the hotel because I'm going to pass out. I can't even see straight. Where's the car? So we go down, we get down to the street and they're like, I'm like, where's the car? Oh, no car. Oh, no car. Wait, how are we going to get to the hotel? It's right there. She points.

51:55 Drew Across the street.

51:56 It's across the street.

51:58 Filter I just graduated from the school of hurry up and wait.

52:00 Cross the street. Cross the street.

52:03 Adam Not even kiddie corner.

52:05 Caller Cross the street.

52:07 Walk 30 feet.

52:09 Adam We're standing in the effing lobby of the hotel. And I was like, I, you are, who do I kill?

52:15 I have to kill somebody.

52:16 Caller Somebody has to die.

52:17 Adam Send an intern down here. I have to kill somebody. Oh, I hate that. I can't stand that.

52:25 Drew You know where they were? They were at the NBC studio. You know where that is there? Yeah, yeah. Shirt is right across the street.

52:30 Filter Oh yeah.

52:30 Drew Oh yeah, it's right there.

52:31 Filter Yep.

52:31 Adam Oh, thank God. I slept on the green room floor for an hour and 45 minutes. It's like going to my hotel, taking a shower like a human being. Oh, that's it. Have we done Jenny Jones since then?

52:43 Drew No.

52:43 Adam No.

52:44 Filter There's like four hotels. The Unicount and Anaheim is right there.

52:46 Drew Oh, Hyatt is across the river.

52:47 Filter He doesn't want to know.

52:48 Drew Marriott is right there. I was just staying in Chicago about two weeks ago and I was staying at the Hyatt. Looked across the river. This, that damn NBC studio is surrounded by hotels. Ring, a ring of hotels.

52:58 Adam It is.

52:58 Drew They're all right there. It is, yeah.

53:00 Adam I blame everyone but me.

53:01 Drew I thought of that story when I looked over there.

53:04 Adam Larry, you're 16. What's up with the butt plug?

53:09 Caller Actually, I have a question about porn.

53:12 Adam Where's your butt plug question?

53:16 Caller Well, you don't want to talk about porn?

53:17 Adam All right. I'll put it back on hold for a little while.

53:20 Caller I'll get back with it.

53:23 Adam Listen, you don't wet my whistle with the butt plug talk. You don't tempt me with that kind of question and then go in with the standard porn. Dick?

53:34 Caller Yeah, what's up?

53:35 Adam You're 16. What's up?

53:36 Caller Yeah.

53:38 Caller I have a question.

53:40 Caller I'm masturbated about five or six times a day. And then, sooner or later, I found out that there's a reddish liquid coming out.

53:48 Drew That's nice.

53:48 Adam Of your penis?

53:49 Caller Yeah.

53:50 Adam Yeah. That's not rust.

53:52 Filter Are you doing it with a chainmail glove?

53:55 Drew No, no. It's not like he's...

53:58 Adam It's coming out, right?

54:00 Drew Rubbing something right. It's actually coming out the tip. It's his soul leaking slowly.

54:03 Adam That's right. And so you're bringing up blood.

54:11 Caller Yeah. It looks like it.

54:13 Drew A couple of things. First of all, blood is not necessarily anything you have to be alarmed about, but it is something you do need to get checked out. And at the level of activity that you're maintaining, it's not surprising you'd have some blood. The sort of overriding issue, though, is why so much? You're 16. Were you ever sexually abused or anything?

54:30 Caller Uh, no.

54:32 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

54:35 Adam We've got blood coming out of his penis.

54:37 Drew Hey, where do the compulsion come from? Five or six times a day?

54:40 Adam Well, why don't you cut back to three or four times a day? The poultry three or four times a day and see if less blood comes out. And I'll tell you why blood comes out at five or six times a day, because the guy's masturbating and the balls are like, hey, we're dry, there's nothing here. And the penis is like, well, something's coming out. And the balls are like, hey, don't look at me. We got nothing left. I mean, hold on, let me ask the guys, how you guys doing? We're going as fast as we can. We won't have anything for another 20 minutes, half hour.

55:12 Caller All right.

55:12 Filter What's the old saying, you can't get blood from a stone?

55:15 Adam You can't squeeze blood from a turnip, right?

55:17 Caller Right.

55:18 Adam Well, he's doing it.

55:19 Filter He's doing it.

55:20 Adam Megan?

55:22 Drew Megan?

55:23 Filter Megan?

55:25 Adam Megan? All right. Hold on a second. Stacey?

55:29 Caller Yeah.

55:30 Adam You're 16?

55:31 Drew Yeah.

55:31 Adam What's wrong?

55:33 Caller About almost a year ago, okay, my sister and my new brother-in-law were getting married. And a month before they got married, I had sex with my brother-in-law's little brother.

55:44 Drew How old was he?

55:45 Caller He was, I think, 17 at the time and I was 15.

55:49 Adam Okay.

55:50 Caller And I want to know how I can break the news to my family.

55:52 Drew Why do you have to do that?

55:54 Caller Because I'm really open with my family but it's really scared because I'm worried that it will ruin my relationship with my family or anything like that.

56:02 Drew This was how long ago?

56:04 Caller Almost a year ago in May.

56:05 Drew Has it destroyed anything?

56:08 Caller The only people that know is my best friend and my cousin.

56:11 Drew Yeah, but what has it done to your relationship with your family?

56:16 Caller They really don't know about it but I think they know but I think they told them.

56:21 Drew What is it you plan to accomplish by telling people about this? What is it that's a problem now that's going to get better by telling people about this?

56:29 Caller What they didn't know is that I was pregnant with this child too.

56:33 Drew Okay, we didn't know that either. Okay, so keep going. What is it that by telling them your plan to accomplish?

56:44 Caller I don't know.

56:45 Drew Are you picking up on what's going on with her? I think I got it.

56:49 Adam Yeah, well, hold on. Yeah, see, I've learned from doing this show that when people tell the truth, it's not always under the most noblest of circumstances, meaning they tell the truth like, hey, I think I should come clean with this person. They deserve to know the truth, but there's something behind it. It's usually a little payback, a little something. And usually when 16 year olds want to tell their family they slept with somebody, there's something there, especially when it doesn't make any sense. It was a year ago. Why do they need to know now? How's this going to affect them? There's something going on.

57:23 Drew She is pissed. Stacey, she wants to get this guy.

57:26 Adam Did you get an abortion?

57:28 Caller No, I had a miscarriage.

57:29 Adam Okay, and did this guy break your heart? Did he leave you hanging?

57:33 Drew Of course.

57:35 Caller I told him that I was pregnant and he totally just blew me off.

57:37 Adam Oh, what a shock. Hold on. Let me scrape Drew up off the floor. Drew, you've never been more wrong, have you? You're shocked, flabbergasted. Would you say that's the word?

57:48 Drew Yeah, shocked. All right.

57:49 Adam So Stacey, now you get to tell your parents and they get to get pissed off at him because there's nothing worse in life than being really hurt and really angry at somebody and having them get away scot-free. You know what I mean?

58:03 Drew And indeed, there's a reality component to this which is that she needs her family when she's going through all this and she can't share any of this pain with the people that are important to her because this is a secret. And so that element is real and that's reasonable and maybe you ought to pick and choose who in your family you tell to get that support, but you tell everybody and that's a vengeful act. You're trying to get back at this guy and I'm sure you'll succeed.

58:29 Adam I'm surprised you didn't do it earlier though. Why have you waited so long?

58:33 Caller I was just scared to lose my sister and my niece.

58:37 Drew That's a big price.

58:39 Adam But why are you going to lose your sister and your niece if this if this guy's kid's brother had sex with you?

58:47 Drew Some people might jump into camps, you know, it's her fault. Exactly. They might get mad at her.

58:51 Adam Wait a minute. This is a 17-year-old and a 15-year-old. How old is your sister?

58:56 Caller She's 18 now.

58:59 Drew Is your family?

58:59 Adam 18 now?

59:00 Caller Yeah, she was 17.

59:02 Adam When she got married?

59:03 Caller Yeah.

59:04 Adam Oh boy.

59:05 Drew Does your family have a long history of fighting, let's say?

59:08 Caller What was that?

59:09 Drew Does your family have a long history of infighting?

59:12 Adam Inbreeding is more like it.

59:13 Drew You guys get into dramatic drama.

59:16 Adam Well, listen, you guys are the...

59:20 Drew Hatfields.

59:21 Adam Yeah, no, I was trying to think of the Chaos Sons or something. There's a lot of chaos in this family. You've got a 17-year-old sister who's getting married. Why is she getting married at 17?

59:34 Caller Because she got pregnant.

59:35 Okay.

59:37 Adam What a shock. Hey, Stacey. Why don't you be the first member of your family not to get involved in this dance? You know what I mean?

59:47 Drew The drama.

59:48 Adam Getting pregnant early. I mean, you're already pregnant at 15. You kind of dodged a bullet there. But there's a lot of arguing, a lot of chaos, a lot of strife. I'm wondering how your sister's, your brother-in-law is. I wonder what kind of guy he is. How old is he?

1:00:07 Caller He's 22.

1:00:08 Adam Uh-huh. So he's like 21 or 20. He's marrying a 17-year-old. Yeah. And he's kind of what you call like a dirt bag. Yeah.

1:00:19 Drew How old was your mom when she had her first child?

1:00:22 Caller 18.

1:00:23 Adam Yeah.

1:00:23 Drew Shocked also.

1:00:24 Adam Miss carried at 11. Stacey.

1:00:27 Caller Close enough.

1:00:28 Hey.

1:00:28 Drew Really?

1:00:29 Really?

1:00:29 Adam Hey, Stacey, listen, don't get into all that crap. You want to join that pack of losers? You know what I mean? I mean, listen, I was, I know my family loves it when I tell this story, but I was like 12 and I looked at my family and went, Jesus Christ, you guys are losers. You guys are pathetic. And whatever it is you are, I want to be the opposite. You know what I mean?

1:00:50 Drew But isn't it interesting how people present themselves? When Stacey first started talking, I sort of imagined like a scene like The Father of the Bride, you know, that family and the old parents get away and something goes very much wrong. And this one girl accidentally, you know, makes a bad choice. When in fact, no, no, no, this is the chaos. This is the Hatfields.

1:01:10 Adam Yeah. I don't know what it is. And it's, I don't know. Well, I just chalk it up to stupidity. I know we don't like to use that in this society. It's not nice, but you turn on the TV and you're watching people's court or divorce court or whatever, and there's some toothless idiot who's wearing a, you know, Velour Kennington shirt on TV and in front of the judge and he's having it out with his acts of three months because she was banging around with him and his friend and there's a kid involved and stuff. And you just start thinking to yourself, would you idiots just stop it? Just stop it. Just stop acting out. Stop banging relatives. Stop banging in-laws. Start using birth control. Stop boozing so much and get your ass out of the house. Just stop it.

1:01:56 Caller You said the don't, I'm sure, for those people.

1:01:59 Adam And people love to talk about family structure and all that kind of stuff, but ultimately that stuff always just breaks down to flat stupidity. People just don't have enough mental horsepower to get themselves out of the mire. And they just keep going round and round and sinking deeper and deeper. Jay?

1:02:18 Yes, sir.

1:02:18 Adam You're 20.

1:02:19 Caller Yes, sir.

1:02:20 Adam Oh, thank God I'm a genius. What's up there, Jay?

1:02:24 Caller Hey, before I ask you guys a question, can I say hey to Filter?

1:02:27 Filter Yeah, what's up, man?

1:02:27 Caller What's up?

1:02:28 Filter How you doing, Jay?

1:02:29 Caller I'm doing great. How are you guys?

1:02:30 Filter We're good.

1:02:31 Caller Hey, my band is thinking of doing a cover of your song, Take a Picture.

1:02:35 Filter Yeah.

1:02:35 Caller You guys don't have to answer this question if you don't want to. I guess it's kind of a strange question to ask. But what's the chord progression?

1:02:45 Well, I'll let Gino answer that one.

1:02:48 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:02:50 Caller I'm calling from Cincinnati. It's A to D.

1:02:53 Filter Yeah, it's an A sus 2 chord to a D sus 4 to a D.

1:02:58 Adam How's your band doing, Jay?

1:03:00 Caller Oh, well, we're just kind of getting started.

1:03:02 Adam Do you guys cover other bands?

1:03:04 Caller Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have some original tunes. We cover some other bands.

1:03:08 Filter Write your own songs, though.

1:03:10 Caller Excuse me?

1:03:11 Filter Write your own songs.

1:03:12 Caller Oh, we are.

1:03:13 Filter That's the best advice I could give you.

1:03:15 Caller But I find that the best way to do it is when you get in there and you start playing for people, then you play some cover tunes that everyone can sing along to. And then, like, when you got the crowd going, then you go, OK, listen to this. This is ours, you know?

1:03:26 Adam Then I go, OK, this sucks.

1:03:28 Caller Let's go.

1:03:31 Adam Hey, uh, but aren't you guys flattered that someone's covering you? I mean, I know it's a little bit of a double-edged sword, but on the other hand, at least it's not a wedding band or something like that. It definitely means...

1:03:42 Filter It's great. It's great. I mean, I remember sitting in my room, like, transcribing a message in a bottle when I was younger, you know, and I always thought that it would be cool to do that for somebody else who was up and coming.

1:03:52 Adam It's definitely flattering. I mean, you've definitely arrived when someone's ripping your stuff off. Jay?

1:03:57 Caller Yes, sir.

1:03:58 Adam All right, so what was your question?

1:04:00 Caller OK, well, um, my parents are both alcoholics, and when I got out of high school, I had a really bad ordeal in college, and, uh...

1:04:09 Drew What happened?

1:04:10 Caller Well, when I went to college, I didn't really want to go, and they kind of forced me. I mean, it's, it's... I really shouldn't say they forced me into it, I mean...

1:04:17 Drew They pressured you?

1:04:18 Caller Yeah, they kind of pressed me into it. I didn't really want to go, and I went for about three-fourths a year, and I got out, and, and we fall, and we fall, and we fall, and I was already kind of depressed, and I got down to kind of a suicidal slump, and, uh, when I was down in that slump, I was kind of like, well, I can't kill myself, because if I kill myself, then I'm gonna let this person down, this person that's turned out, I think I was even more depressed, and then it was just kind of a really bad spiral downwards, but I moved away, and I was gone for about two years, and I came back home, and now I'm back home, and I had to move back into my folks' house, so I saved up some money to get out, and I'm eventually gonna get out. I know that-

1:04:53 Drew What's the question?

1:04:54 Caller My question is, while I'm on my way from point A to point B, what can I do to keep myself in a good mental state?

1:05:01 Drew Go to Al-Anon.

1:05:02 Caller Go to Al-Anon.

1:05:03 Drew Yep.

1:05:04 Caller And what exactly will Al-Anon do for me?

1:05:06 Drew Al-Anon will give you a place to go to get support from other people who are also dealing with alcoholics and addicts, and if you are appropriately motivated and you really want to do something for your mental hygiene, get a sponsor and work the steps. And that tends to help rewire some of the emotional centers so you aren't as prone to depression. Work on your music, man. That's the simplest way I can describe it to you.

1:05:27 Adam Are your parents still drinking?

1:05:29 Caller Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All the time.

1:05:31 Adam All right. You gotta get out of there, Jay.

1:05:32 Drew If you want allotine, if you want younger people, if you don't feel like you can relate to allotine, allotine is a great place to go to.

1:05:37 Caller All right? OK. And also, I'd really like to do therapy. I've heard good things about therapy. Great.

1:05:44 Drew Go do it.

1:05:45 Caller But what's the best way to find a therapist? I mean, I don't really...

1:05:50 Drew You have to be very, very careful. And...

1:05:52 Caller Right.

1:05:53 Adam Oh, no, you don't.

1:05:53 Drew Yeah, you do.

1:05:54 Adam I've never had any therapists that I minded.

1:05:57 Drew Yeah. But you're on the inside. Your dad's a therapist. I mean, you have referrals, you know... Yeah. Tracks. People that don't have that, don't know how to judge who they're getting. You know what? There's an article in the HealthWise section of drdrew.com. You go to my office, go to the HealthWise archives, and there's a whole thing there on how to pick a therapist, what to expect from a therapist. It's really well-written. Check it out.

1:06:18 Adam I mean, just off the top of my head, and having a few therapists, I can tell you that it's, you know, a nice rack. It's something that you look for at drdrew.com. 50 minutes in the same room.

1:06:27 Drew One word.

1:06:28 Adam No TV set.

1:06:29 Caller Check it out.

1:06:29 Adam You gotta have something to look at. Thank you, Drew.

1:06:31 Drew And then go to the chats, and there are people there that will help, who have been to a therapist, can talk to you about their personal experience.

1:06:36 Adam He can go to Alan on too, and talk to some people, and I'm sure some of them might be able to make some recent recommendations.

1:06:41 Caller Absolutely.

1:06:41 Drew But I suggest you start with your family doctor, if you have one, and see if they know somebody of quality.

1:06:46 Adam Melissa? Melissa?

1:06:50 Oh, hello.

1:06:50 Adam Hey, you're 19, you're on with Filter. What's up?

1:06:53 Caller Well, I went in for a pregnancy test today and it came up negative.

1:06:57 Drew You mean you had a blood test?

1:06:58 Caller A pregnancy test.

1:06:59 Drew A urine or blood?

1:07:00 Caller What's that?

1:07:01 Drew Urine or blood?

1:07:02 Caller Pregnancy. Oh, I'm sorry, a urine test.

1:07:05 Adam Hey, I'm telling you, I will match our caller's IQ against any show in the world.

1:07:10 Caller Hey, I've never done this, so it was all new to me. Right. Yeah, it was a urine and it came up negative, but I haven't had a period in two months.

1:07:18 Adam Now, do you pee in a cup or do you pee right onto the doctor?

1:07:21 Caller Right on the doctor. No, it's on the little cup, but...

1:07:23 Drew She missed a beat. That's good.

1:07:25 Caller That's why it makes so much money for you, Melissa.

1:07:26 Adam Hey, we're going to take it on the road, Melissa.

1:07:28 Filter Holding showers.

1:07:30 Adam All right, so you pee in the cup, you give it to the doctor, he sniffs it, he can tell whether they're pregnant or not. And then what?

1:07:37 Caller They just, it wasn't.

1:07:39 Adam All right, good.

1:07:40 Drew What's the question?

1:07:41 Caller Well, I haven't had a period in two months, so I'm wondering, that's why I went in.

1:07:44 Drew You want any medicines?

1:07:45 Caller No.

1:07:45 Drew Did you use drugs?

1:07:46 Caller No.

1:07:46 Drew Lost a bunch of weight?

1:07:47 Caller No.

1:07:48 Drew You exercise excessively?

1:07:49 Caller Yes.

1:07:50 Drew Might be that.

1:07:51 Adam What do you do?

1:07:52 Caller I dance.

1:07:54 Drew It could be that. Talk to some of your friends. You'll find that's a common thing.

1:07:56 Adam Eating disorder?

1:07:57 Drew Yeah.

1:07:58 Caller No eating disorder.

1:07:59 Adam Come on. Be honest.

1:08:00 Caller No.

1:08:01 Adam Why did you kick it?

1:08:02 Caller I've never had an eating disorder. No.

1:08:04 Adam Don't lie to me.

1:08:04 Drew How much do you weigh?

1:08:05 Caller I'm a very healthy person, 130.

1:08:07 Drew How tall are you?

1:08:08 Caller Five, six.

1:08:09 Drew You're fat. No.

1:08:11 Adam No, Drew, please.

1:08:11 Drew I didn't say that.

1:08:12 Adam Yes, I heard you. But anyway, no eating disorder. You must not be serious about your dancing.

1:08:18 Caller It's a new thing, but I'm not a professional.

1:08:21 Adam The thing is, the girls with the eating disorder, their mom takes them to ballet when they're three and they don't want to go. But if you just took this up later in life, you won't have it. All right?

1:08:34 Drew Okay. There are many other things that can be, those called hypothalamic pituitary axis dysfunction, there can be ovarian cyst, there can be lots of different things that can cause this. So your doctor will take you through a little workup and he can easily reestablish cycling.

1:08:48 Adam All right. How do they kick start the vagina?

1:08:52 Drew Kick start a little progesterone.

1:08:53 Adam Really?

1:08:54 Drew Kick start the uterus.

1:08:55 Adam Nice. Patricia? Hi.

1:08:59 Drew It's sort of like the oil pan.

1:09:01 Adam Oh, really? Oh, you mean like the engine is the moving parts and stuff above the vagina?

1:09:06 Drew Yeah.

1:09:07 Adam Interesting. Patricia?

1:09:08 Yes.

1:09:09 Adam You're 17.

1:09:10 Caller Yes.

1:09:10 Adam What's up?

1:09:12 Caller I have a small problem. I think I'm scared of sex.

1:09:15 Adam Okay.

1:09:16 Caller Good.

1:09:18 Adam Hold on.

1:09:19 Drew Finally.

1:09:20 Adam Did someone chase you around with an oversized novelty penis when you were younger?

1:09:24 No.

1:09:25 Drew Douche nozzle.

1:09:26 Adam That's what happened to me.

1:09:28 Oh, wait.

1:09:28 Adam Hold on a second. I want to work this into the English lexicon. Douche nozzle. We're talking last night about how people are forever using the term douche bag, but what about the rest of the douche apparatus? What about the hose? What about the nozzle? And douche nozzle.

1:09:48 Drew That's a nice ring to it too.

1:09:49 Adam It's a nice ring. Yeah.

1:09:50 Filter Sounds like a small town in eastern Germany.

1:09:52 Adam Yeah.

1:09:55 Filter Welcome to douche nozzle.

1:09:57 Caller Douche nozzle.

1:09:58 Adam Where was that?

1:09:59 Caller To Haast.

1:10:00 Caller Douche nozzle.

1:10:01 Caller Where was that?

1:10:02 Filter I think we just hit that on our world tour.

1:10:04 Caller I'm not sure. Yeah, I think we did play douche nozzle.

1:10:07 Filter We stayed at the Hotel Ibis and the douche nozzle rocks.

1:10:11 Adam Where was that?

1:10:12 Caller You're a miss in the Ibis.

1:10:16 Adam Yeah, like if you said, where was that cello made? Oh, it was made in douche nozzle.

1:10:22 Caller They have a rich heritage.

1:10:23 Filter Of the finest cat cut.

1:10:27 Adam We'll be taking a bus. It will stop in douche bag, douche hose and douche nozzle. It's a lovely little village. Very picturesque. Cobblestone. All right. Miss the bombing all together by the ally forces in World War II. We'll take ourselves a little break. The Filter is here and we'll be back with you, Drew, and the rest of the douchenozzles after this.

1:11:10 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:11:34 Adam It's Loveline and Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Gino and Stephen are both here from Filter.

1:11:40 Filter.

1:11:41 Adam Title of record is the name of the new CD.

1:11:45 Filter That's right.

1:11:46 Adam Four years in the making. Let me give-

1:11:48 Filter 15 months, really.

1:11:50 Adam Let me give, well, at least since the last, since Short Bus. Let me give some dates, some concert dates for Filter since they've been so well-behaved tonight. They're going to beat the Hollywood Palladium on coming up this Friday.

1:12:07 Filter Yep.

1:12:07 Adam Friday night. Friday night, Hollywood Palladium. Saturday night, they're going to beat the Warfield in San Francisco. On the 6th, they'll be, I guess that's Sunday, they'll be in the Roseland Theater in Portland. On the 8th of March, they'll be in Seattle. The 10th, they're going to be in Salt Lake City, Denver. On the 11th, Ogden Theater. What the hell do we just have in here? It's going to be the Ogden Theater in Denver. The hell, Drew, check that up there.

1:12:34 Drew Henry Rollins?

1:12:35 Adam Oh, Henry, yeah, I think it was Henry Rollins, yeah. They're going to be in Minneapolis on the 16th and on the 22nd, all of March. They will, all in March, I should say, they'll be in Chicago.

1:12:47 Caller Back in Chicago.

1:12:48 Adam Home turf at the Riviera Theater. All right, let's, well, why don't we hear something from Filter?

1:12:55 Filter Yeah, that's a good idea.

1:12:56 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What the hell are you talking about? Line 2? All right.

1:13:03 Drew Finish Line 2.

1:13:04 Caller I think the book plug guy is bootied right.

1:13:06 Filter Larry's getting impatient.

1:13:08 Drew Larry's gone.

1:13:08 Adam But I didn't talk to Patricia, did I?

1:13:10 Drew Yeah.

1:13:10 Adam I did?

1:13:11 Drew Yeah.

1:13:11 Adam That's your sound. Hi. Hey, Patricia. That's right. You're scared of sex. Yeah. What's up?

1:13:17 Caller OK. Basically, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 17 years old. I grew up in an, I guess, normal household Christian. And like since day one, I've been told that if you have sex before marriage, you're going to go to hell.

1:13:34 Adam Well, I'll see you there.

1:13:37 Drew Well, I'll see you there.

1:13:38 Caller Everybody's going to see you there.

1:13:39 Adam That's right. You'll be with all the fun people.

1:13:44 Caller But it's like whenever I get close to a guy, it's like I just clam up and it's like I want to go into a corner and cry. I've had a lot of emotional problems in the past.

1:13:53 Drew You have had?

1:13:54 Caller Yes.

1:13:54 Drew From what, do you think?

1:13:56 Caller Well, I'm overweight. And I felt like in the past guys didn't want to be with me or I always had problems with past boyfriends.

1:14:07 Adam Now, as far as being overweight, do you think this is a sort of hereditary thing or is this something you're kind of doing to yourself?

1:14:13 Drew To keep people away.

1:14:15 Caller Hereditary most likely. You know, in my household, the weight thing was never really brought up. Right. Like, okay, my mother is a normal size woman, my father is too. Everybody in my family is basically not really skinny but not really fat. But when it comes to me, I'm like almost the biggest person. I say I'm 260.

1:14:38 Adam All right. How tall are you?

1:14:38 Caller But I carry myself very well.

1:14:40 Adam Oh, yeah. Now, listen, I'm sure that 260 looks like 245 on you. All right. So, Patricia. Uh, in one hand, it's probably good that you're avoiding sex at a young age because if you listen to this show with any regularity, you know all the problems that come with the sex.

1:15:00 Drew Yes, absolutely.

1:15:01 Adam So, but on the other hand, we don't want you being so frightened of it that you clam up. So, you know, we could find a little happy middle ground. Did anything ever happen to you or do you just think it's the strong Christian background?

1:15:15 Caller Nothing ever happened to me. I've never had any problems.

1:15:19 Drew Nobody ever struck you with a bell from you then?

1:15:21 Caller Well, you know, when I was younger.

1:15:24 Adam Light beatings?

1:15:25 Caller Yeah. Do something wrong.

1:15:27 Caller Go get a switch.

1:15:28 Drew All right. Well, that's the problem.

1:15:29 Adam Well, do you think so?

1:15:31 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:15:32 Adam Really?

1:15:32 Drew Well, did I come up with that magically? Is it possible?

1:15:35 Adam Well, listen, Chris, can you ask that every goddamn call?

1:15:38 Drew No, I wouldn't ask physical abuse normally.

1:15:40 Adam Please. All right. Yes?

1:15:43 Caller I'm just worried sometimes because even if I do get married, it's basically me being, I'm scared. I have a lot of doubts about myself, basically.

1:15:52 Drew All right. This is like, it's like being overwhelmed is like piercing for her.

1:15:56 Caller Well.

1:15:57 Drew It keeps people, it keeps people obey. Yeah.

1:15:59 Adam All right. Hey, Patricia. You sound relatively okay. You sound pretty intelligent. Why don't you start working on the weight issue?

1:16:09 Caller Well, I am. I am. You are? The guys that I've been in relationships with, they never had a problem with it.

1:16:15 Adam Right. Okay.

1:16:16 Caller I just feel like I'm just a problem.

1:16:18 Adam All right. But okay, forget about what they think. You don't like it. You don't feel good about yourself and it's not healthy. So why don't you start walking, get a little exercise, watch what you eat, and just make that a little project and then everything will sort of fall into place. Seventeen is a very confusing time.

1:16:37 Drew Don't worry about not wanting to do it for a second.

1:16:39 Adam It's fine. It's going to work out for you. Just go on some long walks.

1:16:46 Caller I'm afraid she's going to go other ways.

1:16:48 Adam I don't know. Go lesbian, start putting on weight?

1:16:51 Drew No, just start acting out sexually. What do you think she's going to do?

1:16:53 Adam Oh, you think she's going to act out sexually?

1:16:55 Drew This is all, when you've been beaten like that.

1:16:57 Adam Hold on a second, Patricia.

1:16:59 Drew There's always that anti-social...

1:17:01 Adam Drew, when you're 260 bells, there's only so much acting out one can do in a day. You know what I'm saying?

1:17:07 Drew I understand, but you know, you're encouraging her to lose her weight and come on in.

1:17:13 Adam The hot tub's good, baby. So, you're saying pack some more weight on her?

1:17:17 Drew I'm just saying that...

1:17:18 Adam Well, come on, Drew.

1:17:19 Drew She doesn't deal more.

1:17:20 Adam She's 260 pounds. I can't tell her to lose a little weight. I've got to have a doctor groan at me.

1:17:24 Drew No, well, you're...

1:17:25 Adam I can't tell a 260-pound woman to lose a few pounds.

1:17:27 Drew No, that's all fine and all healthy messages and all, but you were sort of, I think, minimizing the complexity of this situation, I suspect.

1:17:34 Adam All right. I don't want to make the girl think her head's a Rubik's Cube and freak her out.

1:17:38 Drew No, no, no.

1:17:39 Adam I'm trying to... You know, I like to gloss over things.

1:17:42 Drew I know that.

1:17:42 Adam To make people feel happy. I wish someone would have glossed over something with me when I was growing up. Let me just talk to her for one more second. Hey, Patricia. Now listen, you listen to Uncle Adam. You don't listen to that mean old grandpa, Drew. You know, I hate doctors.

1:17:57 Caller Well, I've been on this diet. I'm with Weight Watchers. Good.

1:18:00 Adam You do your diet. You get a little exercise. Just take some walks and study hard in schools. You can go off to college somewhere far away from your family in the switch they whacked you with. And the main thing will work its way out. I guarantee it. When you're 17, good. You have your virginity. You don't have any venereal diseases. You're not pregnant. No one's giving you a pink eye. You know what I'm saying? You're in good shape. All right? Don't worry so much. Watch a little more TV.

1:18:30 Caller OK. Love y'all.

1:18:31 Caller Love you.

1:18:33 Adam Is that how happy she is now? That's right. I make everyone feel good about themself.

1:18:40 Drew Oh, that's you, Mr. Happy. Adam, that is you.

1:18:44 Filter That's a positive motive.

1:18:46 Drew Yes. Everyone walks away feeling great about themselves. Especially me.

1:18:48 Adam That's right. That's right. Kiss my ass, you idiot kind of show. All right. We have a filter in here. Title of records, the name of the latest CD. And we'll hear something off that CD. And this one is called Best Things. There you be.

1:23:27 Caller Filter, y'all.

1:23:28 Adam Best Things is the name of that song off of title of record. We will take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Ed Jarrett. He's 14. He just broke up with his hot girl. Now, best friend wants her. Wants to know whether to let him do it or not. What's the asshole? Tell him what to do. Save that for after the commercial, Drew. We'll be back.

1:23:50 Caller We'll be back once again with it.

1:24:29 Drew They got a fact.

1:24:30 Adam They got a fact. So let me give a title of record, which is the name of the new filter CD, so they can buy themselves a new one.

1:24:36 Drew So they can move to Pasadena.

1:24:38 Adam And get a nice van and move to Pasadena. All right, everyone go out and buy that. Go ahead.

1:24:42 Drew This is from Benja, long time listeners. She says, peace out mayonnaise.

1:24:46 Adam That's me. Man-Aze.

1:24:48 Drew Long time listeners, 13 years old. She is a member of drdrew.com. She posted an ad for drdrew.com on the Dr. Laura site.

1:24:56 Adam Fantabulous.

1:24:58 Drew Benja is a man or a girl?

1:25:00 Adam All right. Are you done there, Drew? You done plugging your own crap? All right. I thought you were going to read a fax that was germane to the show, not just some Dr. Drew commercial. All right. Let me remind you, trampoline cattle call for the Man Show, everybody. Coming up this Saturday.

1:25:15 Caller This Saturday.

1:25:17 Adam You ladies get down and get on that trampoline. We'll make a star out of you.

1:25:21 Drew Another fax. Filter, I love your song that was being played.

1:25:24 Caller All right.

1:25:25 Adam Let me give the phone number. Let me give the trampoline cattle call phone number. Well, it may be made into one eventually. 323-769-5538.

1:25:37 Caller Bouncy, bouncy.

1:25:39 Adam Jared?

1:25:40 Caller Hello?

1:25:41 Adam You're 14.

1:25:42 Caller Yeah.

1:25:43 Adam What is up? You just broke up with your hot girlfriend.

1:25:47 Caller Yeah. My best friend wants to know if it's okay with me, if you can go out with her.

1:25:52 Adam Who broke up with who?

1:25:54 Caller She broke up with me.

1:25:55 Caller Oh.

1:25:56 Filter I think she's already seen your best friend.

1:25:58 Adam Smarten. Yeah, that's rough. You think they may already be going out?

1:26:02 Caller I don't know.

1:26:03 Adam Why did she break up with you?

1:26:05 Caller Well.

1:26:06 Adam Other than the obvious.

1:26:09 Caller She got really mad at me because one day I skipped school and my mom found out. And then the school called my mom and said that there's a bunch of kids with me. And my mom thought it was my girlfriend with me. And then my mom made me give my girlfriend's number so she could call my girlfriend's mother to find out she skipped that day. And my girlfriend found out that I gave my mom her number and she got pissed about it.

1:26:41 Adam That's what did it. I'm sure she was very much in love up until the point where you gave your mom her phone number.

1:26:48 Drew It was doomed.

1:26:49 Adam That happened to me once. I was engaged about five years ago. I gave the number out of my fiance's mom and that was it. We never spoke again. Hey Jared, that has nothing to do with it. You guys broke up because she doesn't like you anymore. I'm sorry to be a prick about the whole thing but...

1:27:12 Caller Be a man and wish him the best.

1:27:14 Adam You might as well understand the truth. She ain't interested. I don't know if she's interested in your friend or not.

1:27:21 Caller Well she told... Every time I talk about him she like shrieks at the thought of him.

1:27:27 Adam What do you mean? Why?

1:27:29 Caller She just goes...

1:27:30 Adam Oh, she shudders.

1:27:32 Caller Yeah.

1:27:32 Adam Okay. Well that's good. Tell your friend not to do it. Your friend shouldn't do it if he's your good friend. There's nothing worse than that but it happens all the time and it's bound to because it's a whole proximity thing. You just... She's here. You know her. I mean, think about it. When you're 14, you don't have any wheels. Just, you know, when you meet somebody, I mean, you got to go out with them. I don't care whose friend it is or whose sister it is. Jason?

1:27:59 Caller Yeah?

1:28:00 Adam You're 21.

1:28:01 Caller Yeah, I'm 21.

1:28:02 Adam Your new girlfriend wants oral sex?

1:28:04 Caller Yeah, I've been going out with her for about two months.

1:28:06 Adam Yeah.

1:28:07 Caller And, you know, she's gorgeous.

1:28:08 Caller She's about 5'7, 130 pounds, 36C.

1:28:12 Adam Yeah.

1:28:14 Caller All right, thank you for that image.

1:28:17 Caller All right.

1:28:18 Caller Okay, I'm just trying to take this picture.

1:28:20 Adam Right.

1:28:20 Caller She's gorgeous.

1:28:21 Caller Or at least she has the make.

1:28:22 Caller And for some reason, she stinks down there. She's tried douching and everything else.

1:28:27 Caller Douchenozzle?

1:28:28 Filter She's been to douchenozzle.

1:28:29 Caller She was douching down there. She had a little bit of that.

1:28:33 Adam Has she been to the clinic in douchenozzle?

1:28:35 Caller A little fishy down there.

1:28:37 Drew Jason, that's a sign of infection, and she needs to see the doctor, and see if she can get that cleared up.

1:28:42 Caller It's like a white person.

1:28:43 Caller Yeah, I was wondering what that could be, and I was wondering if it's a...

1:28:46 Caller Not good... .infection or anything.

1:28:48 Drew No, yeast doesn't usually smell, but other vaginal infections can, and she should have it checked out.

1:28:53 Adam How do you know she douches, Jason?

1:28:55 Caller I've seen her in the bathroom.

1:28:57 Caller I didn't actually watch.

1:28:58 Caller I saw her start at the door, and I just turned around and left.

1:29:00 Adam Listen, I go number one, I close the door. I don't know what kind of free spirit you're dating, but God bless her.

1:29:06 Caller She's liberated. But it smells like she's on her period all the time.

1:29:11 Drew Jason, let her get checked out, all right?

1:29:13 Adam You want to know how to tell her, right?

1:29:15 Caller Yeah.

1:29:16 Adam All right. You need to say, now listen to me.

1:29:19 Caller Okay.

1:29:20 Adam Say that you were listening to this show, not calling in, but listening.

1:29:24 Caller Okay.

1:29:25 Adam You heard a female caller call up, talk about a little odor down there, and Drew said there could be an infection. You should go get yourself checked out. You noticed when you were with her one time, that there was a little smell coming from down there, and now, because you love her so much, you're worried that she might have some kind of infection. Drew seemed to think this girl dead, and you may have the same infection. Honey, I worry about you. Go to the gynecologist.

1:29:53 Drew And if you're having sex with her, you may have the infection too.

1:29:56 Adam All right, Jason.

1:29:57 Caller So you're saying I should go to the doctor?

1:30:00 Drew No, she should go, but you may need treatment also.

1:30:01 Adam This guy's dumb as a cinder block, for Christ's sake. You know, our listeners are so goddamn dumb that I can't even lay out sort of basic scenarios. You know what I mean? They'll eff it up. You know what I mean? Like, this stuff where you're trying to just cover your tracks just a little bit, stuff that requires just a little bit of imagination, or for you to sort of listen and repeat or something, they can't pull that one off.

1:30:27 Drew Remember the proverbs? I was having them repeat or explain last time.

1:30:30 Adam Yeah, once in a while we have some fun where we say, people that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. What do you think that proverb means? And they're like, well, if you live in a green house, and I don't know why you would, but for some reason you're living in a house that's made of glass, don't throw stuff around. Don't throw any rocks.

1:30:50 Caller If you're liable to break your wall.

1:30:53 Adam I'm like, all right, thank you. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Well, I don't have a horse, so that doesn't really apply. Ken?

1:31:05 Caller Yeah.

1:31:06 Adam You're 23.

1:31:07 Caller Hey, I just want to say I'm a huge fan of the band.

1:31:10 Caller Cool.

1:31:11 Filter Thanks, man.

1:31:12 Caller I saw you in Minneapolis about December.

1:31:16 Filter Was that Family Values or was that on our own?

1:31:19 Caller It was with Bush and-

1:31:21 Caller Oh, it was the big radio show.

1:31:23 Filter Yeah, it was the radio Christmas show. Cool, man.

1:31:25 Caller That was a fun show.

1:31:26 Caller You guys just, you took the show.

1:31:28 Caller I mean, your light show, it's just awesome. Thanks.

1:31:31 Filter All right. We'll tell our LD that.

1:31:32 Caller I want to know when you're coming back.

1:31:35 Filter Soon.

1:31:36 Caller We're playing there. We're playing in Minneapolis.

1:31:37 Filter He's got the dates right now.

1:31:39 Caller Yeah.

1:31:39 Drew Down at the 316, the Quest Club.

1:31:43 Caller Quest Club.

1:31:44 Caller You're at the Quest.

1:31:44 Drew All right. 16th of March.

1:31:46 Caller All right.

1:31:47 Adam All right. A couple of weeks.

1:31:48 Caller All right. Come on down, man. We'll see you there.

1:31:50 Adam Hey, Ken.

1:31:51 Caller Yeah.

1:31:52 Adam A stitch in time saves nine. What do you think that means?

1:31:56 Caller A stitch in time saves nine.

1:31:58 Adam Yeah.

1:31:59 Caller I don't know.

1:32:00 Adam You don't know what that might mean, what that would stand for?

1:32:03 Caller No. I haven't thought about it.

1:32:04 Adam All right. Let me ask you one more. A new broom sweeps clean.

1:32:10 Caller A new broom sweeps clean.

1:32:12 Adam Sweeps?

1:32:14 Caller It probably, you know, cleans the floor up pretty good.

1:32:17 Adam There we go.

1:32:18 Caller That's what I'm talking about.

1:32:20 Adam All right. Can you juice up that big lighter? I want to see it over your head. All right, man. In Minneapolis at the Quest Club. All right? Thanks, bro. All right. All right. This is a good time. Danielle?

1:32:33 Caller Yes?

1:32:33 Adam You're 21.

1:32:35 Caller Yes, I am. I'm a straight girl.

1:32:37 Caller All right.

1:32:37 Adam Let me ask you first, though.

1:32:39 Drew No, no. She'll come up with it.

1:32:40 Adam A stitch in time saves nine.

1:32:43 Caller Adam, it can be whatever you want it to be.

1:32:45 Caller Ooh, a philosopher.

1:32:47 Adam Sounds a little evasive to me. What do you think that proverb means? What does that say?

1:32:52 Caller A stitch in time saves nine. Well, if you go back to ancient Roman times, I have no idea. I don't care.

1:33:00 Filter All right.

1:33:00 Adam How about this one?

1:33:01 Filter Okay, go ahead. Okay.

1:33:03 Caller Can I go on with my question?

1:33:04 Drew No.

1:33:05 Filter If you give a man a fish, he eats for one day. If you teach him how to fish, he never goes hungry again.

1:33:11 Adam Yes. What do you think that?

1:33:12 Drew That's not a good proverb, though. What do I think?

1:33:14 Caller Well, I know what that means.

1:33:18 Drew Proverb means they have to have symbolic, damn it, my endless teachers here.

1:33:22 Adam No, the fish works. It's a little easier. All right.

1:33:27 Filter I was trying to make an easy one.

1:33:30 Adam What do you think that means, Danielle?

1:33:32 Caller That means if you teach someone how to do something, they could do it for the rest of their lives.

1:33:36 Filter All right.

1:33:37 Adam All right. Now Stitching Time Saves Nine. Come on.

1:33:40 Caller Adam, why don't you tell us what it means?

1:33:42 Adam You don't know what it means.

1:33:43 Caller I don't really care.

1:33:44 Drew People don't use that one very much. I can see where they get kind of confused.

1:33:49 Caller Really?

1:33:50 Adam An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?

1:33:54 Filter Yeah.

1:33:55 Adam All right. All right, Danielle. Let's see.

1:33:59 Caller Shut up.

1:34:00 Adam You're a straight girl.

1:34:02 Caller I only hang out with gay guys. Go to gay clubs, have gay roommates.

1:34:06 Drew Has it always been that way or are you a new thing?

1:34:10 Caller Well, since I've been out of high school, yeah.

1:34:12 Adam Are you good looking?

1:34:13 Caller Yes.

1:34:14 Adam Yeah, I could tell because you're pain in the ass. Good looking girls are pain in the ass. That's the beauty of the radio. You don't know who's good looking, but I can tell because the ones that are like in a hurry, like, yeah, okay, uh-huh, they're good looking because they're used to people like going, oh, sorry, but the radio is great. It's a great equalizer. I don't know the 260 pound chick from the tight ass Danielle. See what I mean?

1:34:38 Filter She's like, uh-huh, she's got some attitude.

1:34:40 Adam Stop hanging around with the fags.

1:34:43 Caller I wondered what the obsession is.

1:34:45 Drew Well, it's safe.

1:34:46 Adam Yeah, you don't have to be vulnerable.

1:34:48 Drew And women like men that take care of themselves.

1:34:52 Caller Yeah, you like fashion.

1:34:52 Drew And they're nice and, you know, compassionate people.

1:34:56 Filter They look nice.

1:34:57 Caller Yes.

1:34:58 Caller Hey, Adam, I need my car after you.

1:35:00 Adam The Corolla?

1:35:01 Caller Yep.

1:35:02 Adam You're a genius.

1:35:02 Caller All my friends are getting the Adam.

1:35:03 Caller I know. All right.

1:35:05 Caller OK, now I'm 22.

1:35:06 Adam All right. I need my car after you. The Volva.

1:35:08 Caller The Volva?

1:35:10 Caller All right. Get the hell out of here.

1:35:12 Drew We gotta go break.

1:35:12 Adam We helped her a lot with the stitching.

1:35:14 Caller Bobo, we'll take a break.

1:35:16 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:35:18 Caller OK, let's do it.

1:35:42 Adam This is Adam Carolla, and this is Dr. Groom, and you're listening to Loveline on the Zone 105. All right, there you go.

1:36:05 Caller That is it.

1:36:05 Adam Another fantastic show in the can. Title of record is the name of CD, name of bands, Filter, please. Filter. Filter.

1:36:13 Caller Filter.

1:36:14 Adam Please go out and get that CD made for us. Thank you.

1:36:18 Caller I'll see you at the shows.

1:36:19 Adam That's right.

1:36:19 Caller Come on over.

1:36:20 Adam We appreciate it. And until next time, I'm Adam Carolla with Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Where was that cello made? Oh, it was made in Dushnaz. Well now.

1:36:29 Caller This is Dr. Drew Loveline. The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors, or anyone else, including Once We Want Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Anne Wilkins Engel. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Wednesday, March 1, 2000