Episode 1000754887768

0:01 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:03 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

0:06 Voiceover Listener discretion advised.

0:08 Voiceover Now, here's Loveline.

0:11 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

0:14 Voiceover What are you insane?

0:29 Adam From the Scream movies, right? We had them in here.

0:32 The first one. He was the killer in the first one.

0:34 Adam Right.

0:34 Drew Where do we meet him?

0:35 Adam We either had him in on this or we had him in on the TV.

0:38 Drew TV. All right. That's a good example of...

0:42 Adam We don't know where we are. Remy Zero be in here. They just got married. Did the entire band marry... What's her name from who's the boss? The whole band married her.

0:53 Drew No.

0:54 Adam No, Drew, just a lead singer.

0:56 Drew Is she coming?

0:57 No.

0:58 Adam That's good radio.

1:00 Drew She never recovered from experience yet on this show. How many years ago?

1:04 About 12 years ago.

1:05 Adam I was not here. The cast of Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane. This is a new sitcom that's out on UPN. WB. WB. Never heard of it before Thursday, have not stopped hearing about it since. They launched some sort of campaign. Actually, a representative from WB actually came over this morning, woke me up and sat me down explaining me about the show. It is that extensive.

1:34 Yeah, they're really behind it, so it should be interesting.

1:37 Adam But am I right that you hadn't heard or seen anything about this show up until about three days ago and then it's just been non-stop?

1:44 I've been aware of it for a little bit longer.

1:47 Adam Really? Well, you're, yeah, and you're hip. You know about the bands, you know what's going on. She knows all about the WB.

1:54 Drew Speaking of unhip.

1:55 Adam Yeah.

1:56 Drew That would be us and our experience of the media world, huh?

2:01 Adam Yeah, you want to get into that?

2:02 Drew I want to trigger you, yeah.

2:03 Adam All right, thank you. And then I got to get into spending the entire weekend looking for my plane out in the field. An entire weekend trudging through weeds and brairs, and when I mean up to my chin, I mean up to my chin. Not since Vietnam have I experienced this sort of thing.

2:23 Drew Why did you lose altitude? And what happened?

2:25 Adam All right, let me tell you about what happened to the plane first, and then we'll get, and I guess you want to talk about Pam Anderson later on. We'll get to that. As you know, once in a while I bring up my hobbies flying these little model remote control airplanes, but I'm really not much good at it. I do a lot of crashing, a lot of crashing.

2:43 Drew Is this your new one, the Mustang?

2:45 Adam Yeah, it was.

2:46 Oh! Yeah. Oh!

2:49 Adam So many hours into that. Oh, so many hours.

2:52 Drew Somebody got your pan.

2:53 Adam Oh no, no, no, no. I built this thing, retracts the whole nine yards. Anyway, it had a little problem with the trim. I don't want to bore everyone with the details, but these things are really hard to fly and I'm not that good. But my whole thing is I got to keep moving further than what I'm good at, otherwise I'll get bored with it. The point is this thing took off, it went south and it went down and it went down and it's just a huge field. The field is just like some swamp and some birds and some stuff up to your chin, just dead stuff up to your chin. It went down, I had it narrowed down to about a three-quarter mile area. But you could literally walk past the thing and be four to eight feet from the thing if it was buried in the thick and you would walk right past it. Now, the thing about these planes is the plane is gone. I mean, the plane itself, the body...

3:44 Drew You need to get one of these little like avalanche finders, you know, they put on people's coats and things.

3:49 Adam Believe me, after it's gone, you start coming up with all sorts of ideas about what you should have done. But I didn't have that at the time. And because when you build the thing, you're never going to crash it. So the plane itself has an engine, has a receiver, has servos, has batteries on. The plane itself is about 150 bucks, 200 bucks, but it has about 300 bucks worth of stuff strapped onto it that theoretically you can get and put on the next plane you crash. So you really should go out and find it. Me and about five guys went out looking for it, found nothing for about an hour. And it's a long time to tromp around through the woods. I got my ass, that was yesterday. I got my ass up this morning on Sunday at about seven and went back to go look for it again. This time I had a plan.

4:37 Drew It's how you're going to zigzag across.

4:40 Adam Totally retarded. I stuffed an eight-foot ladder into the back of my car and I brought a pair of binoculars. Now my plan was, and this is right by the side of the road. There's like a major highway going through this place. So people are jogging and rollerblading and driving by. You're looking like the world's biggest a-hole out there. But my plan was, I was going to set this eight-foot ladder up. You know, like the band conductor does at half time of the football game when he's leading the band. I was going to get up on this thing and I was going to get some binoculars and I was going to scan the area.

5:13 Drew How about if you had the five guys back, you could direct them where to go.

5:16 Adam Yeah. Let me tell you about those five guys. I had those five guys for the first 15 minutes and then they all got bored and split because you only want to, it's literally as if somebody pointed at your neighbor's hedge and told you just to walk through it, essentially. I was not going to give up though, and me and my good buddy Chris were out there. I actually set the ladder up on the side of the road, look, then set the ladder up in the middle of the field and start, people are, one guy jogged past me and he went, you're looking for deer? I just said yeah because I felt like a bigger a-hole looking for my plane and of course, everyone who knows me is trying to buy honking the horn and stuff because the fifth plane of crash out there. So I'm looking all over the plane and I'm on each side of the road and I'm starting to cover, I'm covering an area now. I mean like you know when they went out and looked for Amelia Earhart, a little bit bigger than that area I have now covered on foot on a Sunday morning, 730 in the morning just walking with crap in my shoes up, you know getting scratched, just finding nothing, finding old balloons. Actually found a few pieces from other planes I've crashed. That's a bad sign by the way. Actually then found three other planes.

6:29 Drew Wow.

6:30 Adam Three planes that had not been found, that had all the junk in them.

6:35 Drew So you got what you were looking for anyway.

6:36 Adam Well wait a second.

6:37 Drew People claim these.

6:39 Adam One of them has been out there for years and it's totally corroded. It's got like a huge trapdoor spider living in it that almost killed me out in the field. They wouldn't have ever found my body by the way if I'd gone down in that field. The other one is in semi-decent shapes, been out there for a few months. Now again, it's 150 bucks worth of engine, 200 bucks worth of radio on these things. So there were some. The guy puts his phone number on his plane and a little tag. And I'm thinking, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. I got to call this guy now. His plane's been out there for three months. I find the thing still got the good radio, the good engine. I'm thinking, hey, I'll just take this plane because this will be enough.

7:21 Drew No, you can't.

7:21 Adam I mean, no. But the guy's got the phone. I've never seen it done before. He's got the phone number. The plane has been out there for so long that his name and address and everything are all wiped away from this little paper stick-on. It's like something you stick on an envelope. But he writes his phone number in ballpoint. That's a tip for everybody. Use that ballpoint. Call the guy Sunday. He answers the phone at you. What's going on? Yeah, I'm standing out in the field on a cell phone. I got your plane. He takes a beat for a minute. A red one? Yeah. Out in the field? Uh-huh. He goes, Did you get the number from the plane? I said, no, I'm just playing a hunch. I figured it'd be in the 818 area code. I called several hundred thousand people before I got to you. I actually, what I did is I started a grid. I figured it'd be somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. I'm like, please, did you get the number off the plane? He comes down there and he gets his plane. Now I don't have my plane. The other one I found is all corroded. But he gives me 40 bucks. I thought that was nice. Actually, I gave my friend 40 bucks. I gave him 20. I probably wouldn't accept it to 40, but the guy wanted to give 40 bucks. Now thrash around and find another plane. This time, there's a field rat living in the plane. There's feces and it had eaten away, you know, stuff. I mean, it's like, remember that movie Alive? You know, if you think about it, you got this huge big ass, you know, big pile of crap. I mean, this big field full of nothing. And here's this nice piece of plastic and it's insulated and you can crawl right in. It was like a, you know, $500 Habitrail piece that had fallen into the thing. There's crap and everything. Anyway, dust that away. Now I got a plane. All right, so I take this thing. The engines are not as good as mine and all that. So I go to my, but now I've been out in the field for three hours just trancing around. I said, listen, I'm done. I'm going home. I don't know what to do, but I'm going home. I'm pissed off. I'm frustrated. But I got a receiver. I got the servos. I got the radio and I got the engine. Now my buddy, I give him, I give Chris the engine. I said, look, you were out here spending hours trancing around with me, you know, I make more money than you do. Take the engine. He goes, okay, I'm going to take the engine. I'm going to go back to the airfield. I'm going to see if anyone wants to buy it. You know, it's a $85, $90 engine. I'll see if I can get 40 bucks for it. So the day's not a, not a bust. And the people sell stuff sometimes on Sundays out there. So he goes out there to sell my engine and sees a guy with a blanket spread out. He's got a few parts on it and he comes across an engine, a familiar looking engine. Now here's how you can always tell my engines. My engines are, I personally modify them. Usually by busting off all the fins from the head of it, from sliding it on its belly because I've collapsed the landing gear coming in too hard and the plane is dragging on the ground. So not only did all the engine, not only did, were the fins all busted off the head of the thing, but the needle valve adjustment arm had been broken off as well from a prior crash. So this guy between the busted needle valve and the fins off the engine, he knew it was my engine, my buddy. The guy wanted 60 bucks for it. So he said, where did you get it? And the guy was a little hesitant. He finally pointed a guy out. He went over and shook the guy down. And the guy was like stuttering and telling him he didn't know what he was talking about. But eventually opened the guy's knapsack and he got my retracts and servos and landing gear. Got it all back. So he got it all back. Total vindication, everybody. Plains dust, of course. But now I got an extra receiver and some gear, you know. Really made me feel good about myself. I felt like the world's biggest A-hole, second day in a row, just trouncing through a field. Just mindlessly trouncing through a field.

11:18 Drew Some other guy ran out in front of you and just got it and let you go through the field for two full days.

11:24 Adam I don't know.

11:24 Drew Oh yes, of course that's what happened. They scurried out there, grabbed it, and got the hell out of there.

11:30 Adam Not necessarily. It was deep. It wasn't even where I was looking. But it was close to that. Okay, we'll take some calls. We'll talk about Pam Anderson.

11:42 Drew In our experience.

11:43 Adam We can experience a few minutes. Kenny.

11:46 Yeah.

11:47 Adam You're 16.

11:48 Caller Yeah. What's going on? First, I'd like to say Adam, you kick ass, dude.

11:52 Adam Thanks.

11:53 Caller Yeah, I like you a lot, dude. I watch your, I listen to your show every day. But my question is for actually Dr. Drew.

11:59 Drew Yeah, Kenny, what's up?

12:01 Caller I had oral sex with my girlfriend about a week and a half ago.

12:05 Drew Yeah.

12:05 Caller And about three days ago, I noticed these cold sore like things in my mouth. And I was wondering if that could be anything.

12:13 Drew On your cheek or lip?

12:15 Caller Like on my lip. And I got like a couple on my upper and bottom lip.

12:19 Drew Have you ever had something like that before?

12:20 Caller No, I haven't.

12:21 Drew Never had cold sores before?

12:22 Caller No, I've had cold sores like one or one, but I've never had this many.

12:26 Adam Why do you get them when you're kid and then not so often when you're an adult? How come when you get them when you're kid, it doesn't mean you have herpes?

12:33 Drew You do. That's basically a herpes virus. And all these viruses burn themselves out with time. They come less and less frequently.

12:39 Adam Well, is it like warts? You know, when you're a kid, you get warts. And then when you're an adult, you don't get warts until you've been with hookers.

12:44 Drew I suppose it's possibly that. But these are all caused by viruses. You're exposed to viruses early in life and they burn themselves out.

12:51 Adam All the junk you got for when you were a kid comes back. But now it's in a venereal disease form later on in life.

12:59 Drew It concentrates in a certain way.

13:00 Adam All the warts and cold sores and whatnot.

13:02 Drew But Kenny, has your girlfriend been with anybody else?

13:06 Caller Not that I know of. All right.

13:07 Drew So you can irritate your mouth and tongue and trigger cold sores to occur in someone who already has that virus. I'd actually be more concerned that you transmitted something to her than she gave something to you.

13:19 Caller I've never really had sex before. I had sex one other occasion.

13:22 Drew I understand, but you have had cold sores on your mouth. And that's how herpes gets down there, off of people's mouths. And so you may be more likely to transmit something to her than she something to you. So it's just that when you irritate the line of your mouth, these cold sores tend to develop.

13:42 Adam Meta? What's going on there? Meta, you're 14.

13:46 Caller Yeah, well, I have these health problems. I've had three of them. And I feel I'm going to...

13:55 Drew Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You have what now?

13:57 Caller I have these health problems.

13:58 Drew What are they?

14:00 Caller I have RP.

14:01 Drew Retinitis Pigmentosa?

14:03 Caller And I have hypotonia. And I've been anemic.

14:08 Drew Hypertonia?

14:09 Caller Hypotonia.

14:10 Drew Hypotonia.

14:11 Caller And well...

14:13 Adam Is that when you work out too much?

14:16 Drew It's the opposite.

14:18 Caller No.

14:19 Drew Low tone, hypotonia.

14:20 Adam Oh, really?

14:21 Caller Yeah. And...

14:22 Adam My family has a...

14:23 Drew So you have some sort of neurologic condition causing that, right?

14:28 Caller And well, this is... I feel like I have a deep site, I mean, a bad psychosis, because I feel like I'm gonna kill myself.

14:42 Drew So you're depressed.

14:43 Caller Yeah.

14:44 Drew Have you asked anybody to help you with that?

14:47 Caller No.

14:47 Drew How come?

14:50 Caller I don't know. Well, it's not only my health problems. Okay. Well, I have this... Well, RP is defective vision, right?

15:02 Drew Yeah, but maybe people...

15:04 Adam Hold on a second.

15:05 Drew Retinitis pigmentosa is a progressive loss of vision where vision sort of shrinks down. And people live long time with functional vision and can live a normal life. I mean, it is a troubling condition, but it doesn't have to be total devastation.

15:20 Adam Okay. So, okay. What about the hypotona?

15:23 Drew I don't know what...

15:24 Adam What is hypotona?

15:25 Drew This muscle, decreased muscle tone. There must be some syndrome that she has. Due to what? I don't know.

15:30 Adam What would hypertona be like if you taught aerobics?

15:33 Drew Yeah, I guess.

15:35 Adam What is hypotonia?

15:35 Drew Hypertonia would be spasticity, really. You'd have spasticity.

15:38 Adam All right. Define hyper. To me...

15:40 Drew Too much.

15:41 Adam Okay. Or fast, or just too much?

15:44 Drew And fast.

15:44 Adam Okay. And hypo...

15:46 Drew Too little.

15:47 Adam Hypo is too little.

15:48 Yeah.

15:50 Adam But what about hypodermic?

15:53 Drew Beneath the skin.

15:55 Adam All right. So is hypo too little or is it beneath? Oh, too little beneath, like beneath a certain level?

16:00 Drew Below.

16:01 Caller Below. All right.

16:02 Adam I really should just move to Mexico. This whole English thing is not worked out for me at all. It just hasn't worked. It's like, listen, everybody, learn to speak English sometime between like 1 and 18. Or you're aft.

16:16 Drew Not 1 and 18, 1 and 8.

16:17 Adam 1 and 8. Listen, working with clay, not as important as learning English.

16:22 Drew Come on. That's the man telling you that. Come on, Adam. You know, that's just some sort of... You've never proven that.

16:28 Adam I know. But I can when you like go to the supermarket and you just point at things and grunt. You don't even know that you can't even articulate yourself. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Anyway. All right. So, you're 14. You got all kinds of horrible stuff going on.

16:44 Caller And I guess ever since like the daughter of fourth grade, I've wanted to fly in space. I wanted to be an astronaut. And I've sort of taken it seriously since like a few months before.

16:56 Drew All right.

16:56 Caller I got diagnosed and I can't ever be a pilot. And I've been because my mom's never encouraged me for anything because the retinitis pigmentosa and my hypotonia and because I've been anemic.

17:14 Adam What's the what's the platonia?

17:16 Drew Hypotonia.

17:16 Adam Oh, hypotonia.

17:18 Drew All right. Look, you need you've had some medical care. You need to tell the caretakers that you're having a mood problem also. You don't have to suffer like this. It's things seem overwhelming because of the state you're in, not because of the reality of these conditions you have.

17:35 Adam And let me let me say a few things. Everyone wanted to be an astronaut for five minutes at some time or another. It passes. Are you what's your nationality?

17:46 Caller I'm African American.

17:48 Adam And you're female, right?

17:50 Caller Yeah.

17:50 Adam All right. Here's what I would do. I would sue the government to let you go into space. I think you could get away with it. I really do in this day and age. And you could sue them for letting someone with a vision impairment not being able to pilot a spaceship. I think you'd probably win that one, too. All right, baby. You got a bunch of stuff going on. And let me tell you what it's going to turn out to be. It's going to be one of those things where, you know, she overcame this and she overcame that.

18:17 Drew And look what she's doing now.

18:18 Adam That's right.

18:19 Drew Yeah. But in the meantime...

18:20 Adam In the meantime is a bitch. We understand that.

18:23 Drew But you're suffering excessively right now. And you really do need to get some professional guidance and assistance with this because it doesn't have to be this bad. And taking care of your mood problem is as important as taking care of your medical problems because that's what's going to hold you back right now. The medical conditions are going to be certainly things you're going to have to overcome. But I suspect you will.

18:43 Adam All right, Mehta, OK, take care of yourself, would you?

18:46 Caller OK, all right.

18:48 Adam Take care. Oh, boy. To be an astronaut, do you ever want to be an astronaut, Drew?

18:56 Drew No, never.

18:57 Adam My whole thing was, and this is really where my whole life has gone wrong. I wanted to be in space, but not be an astronaut, meaning I didn't want to strap into anything and launch myself anywhere. I just wanted to bounce around, play golf on the moon.

19:14 Drew Oh, I see. You just wanted to be weightless.

19:16 Adam Well, if you really think about it, it's sort of a metaphor for me and just about everyone I grew up with in the valley, which would definitely be a cool thing to be up on the moon jumping around in a weightless environment, or almost weightless environment. But being on the centrifuge spinning around at 3,000 RPMs and working in some big tank of water for months and months beforehand, didn't sound like a good time.

19:44 Drew I saw Rocket Man. It looked like fun.

19:46 Adam Did you see Rocket Man? Yeah. Your kids made you see it?

19:48 Drew My kids, yeah.

19:49 Adam Was that movie any good?

19:50 Drew It's cute.

19:51 Adam It was?

19:52 Drew I'm becoming an expert on kids' films, you understand.

19:55 Adam I got all these movies now. You know, I saw Shakespeare in Love today. And when my grandma's got them on tape. My grandfather's a member of the Academy. He was nominated for an Academy Award for... It was either the Affairs of Susan or the Mold People, I'm trying to think. I'm going with the Affairs of Susan. But the point is, the point is... And let me just tell you something about life. Another thing about life. My grandfather, he wrote a few movies. He was a good guy. He got nominated for an Academy Award. He had some achievement in his life. He wrote a piece of crap called The Mold People in 1953. That's what he's remembered for.

20:39 Drew For the Mold People.

20:41 Adam Anyone who, you know, once in a while, they get a residual check. He gets a letter from one of these screwball sci-fi guys who want him to sign something or send something. The Mold, you know, do you understand how life works now? The Mold People. Something that he was sort of embarrassed by becomes his claim to fame. But the point is, he's not my blood grandfather either. So those of you who try to say, well, you must have some sensibility, some comedic timing because of him. No, the real guy was abusive, shorter, cook, alcoholic guy.

21:13 Drew Ooh, that does sound like you to.

21:14 Adam Grandma had to run for it, make a run for him. Now that's better. But the point is, he's in the Academy, they get all the movies each year. So I go over there and borrow them. And it got all of them, it got the Thin Red Line. Name a movie that came out, you know, whatever, Patch Adams, whatever it is, it's all over there. Problem is, the Mandels come over there and they hoard them. I go over there, I go, oh, I want to see the Thin Red, Jules Mandel borrowed, oh, for Christ's sake. Jules took five movies. What? Five movies? Jules, he claims him and Trudy, his wife, are two people and that they should, oh, that's the biggest Cologna crap. Come on, grandma.

21:58 Drew Grandma loves that kind of logic.

22:00 Adam That goddamn Jules Mandel is not gonna be back for two months. It'll be out on video by the time he brings that thing. Well, he wanted to borrow, oh, for Christ's sake. Meanwhile, I gotta leave my license. I wanna borrow a movie from there. It's like checking out a ball at the park. All right, so anyway, I got some good movies. What the hell's going on here, Drew?

22:19 Drew We're going to break.

22:20 Adam Oh, we are? Yeah.

22:21 Drew When we get back.

22:22 Adam Yeah, when we get back, we got an update. Tiffany was accused of killing her dad. She's off the hook now.

22:30 Drew Fugly remember this.

22:31 Adam You do?

22:32 Drew Yeah, vaguely.

22:33 Adam I don't remember this.

22:34 Drew Yeah, kinda. We'll see.

22:35 Adam Okay. We'll be back.

22:52 Caller I'm pitching a tent.

23:03 Adam This guy makes millions wrenching down. You know what I'm saying?

23:08 Drew We're going to study broadcasting.

23:10 Adam Yeah. Oh, boy. Hey, it's The Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is the Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Bad religion will be in here tomorrow night. All right, let's just clear up this little Loveline Pam Anderson thing before we get rolling along. Cause I know Drew. So here's the thing. Drew's is pissed about a lot of things as I am. He just don't want to say anything and he knows I'll start mouthing off. So why bother?

23:36 Drew No, I got behind you on this one.

23:38 Adam You got behind me, but.

23:40 Drew I wasn't leading the chart.

23:42 Adam Well, let me explain what it's like. It's like you're a couple of kids. There's two kids and you go into a liquor store and you both want candy just as bad. But the one kid knows the other kid's going to rip off all the candy. So instead of getting caught yourself ripping off candy, why not just stand out in the alley and wait for me to come out with the candy? You get your candy anyway and if something happens, I'm the one who's going to juvie.

24:08 Drew It's not quite that bad.

24:09 It's close.

24:11 Adam It's close.

24:13 Drew I was mouthing off a little bit too.

24:15 Adam After I got Drew worked up, I got Drew worked up like when you work a dog up, when you take its belly and the thing just starts growling at the moon. That's how I got Drew. So here's what happened. Let's see, where do we start? We're doing the TV show on Friday and Pam Anderson and the rest of the gals from VIP are supposed to be on the Loveline TV show. And I guess they've been working to get her on the show for quite some time. Is that true, Drew?

24:47 Drew Evidently.

24:48 Adam Yes. And Drew has a publicist. And for people who don't know what publicists do or who publicists are, let me explain how that world works. You know, when you turn on the TV and all you see is like Jennifer Love Hewitt on every goddamn channel for like three weeks. She's over here. She's over there. There's entertainment tonight. There's Jennifer Love Hewitt mania. And you think to yourself, hey, who cares? Who cares? I mean, she's an attractive girl, but there's a thousand other attractive. She's got a publicist and her publicist is ramming this stuff up the ass of everybody around the nation.

25:27 Drew And that publicist must have somebody else. Which is why they take it.

25:31 Adam That publicist also handles Arnold Schwarzenegger. And they say to the chick whose book in the Tonight Show, how about you put Jennifer Lefewitt on? And they say, no, we had her three months ago. We're going to wait another three months. And then they go, if you don't put Jennifer on, you're not going to get Arnold Schwarzenegger.

25:51 Drew We'll talk to David about Arnold.

25:52 Adam Yes. And then they go, okay, we'll put her on. And that's how publicists work. And you've heard me yell about these. They're really, they're sort of enablers. They're people that don't do anything. Hundred years ago, they'd be working on a railroad and building it one big circle, by the way, so that the planes, so that the trains actually ran into each other.

26:11 Drew It's also part of that whole middle world that really controls what people watch on television, people don't know about.

26:16 Adam Right.

26:16 Drew The whole, the whole representation, management, all that whole, there's a world there that controls what goes out.

26:25 Adam You people have no idea what goes on behind the scenes and why, and it really ultimately affects the product. So anyway, there are people I'm not fond of, and I've been asked to sign one up a time or two and to have one working on my camp, and I always say, no, I'm not doing it. And people go, oh, it would further your career along too. And I always tell them, listen, if I went and killed Tim Allen and Martin Short, I'd probably move along a little faster too, but I have some morals. You understand?

26:56 Drew But nonetheless, a plan to kill them.

26:59 Adam Please, Drew, people thought I was kidding. The point is this. No, I kill myself and I find out. Tim Allen makes like 1.5, 1.2 million or something a show. 1.2, 1.1 or 1.2, like an episode he makes. That guy's not funny. He ain't funny. And I know twice as much about Wood as that guy. Jesus Christ, it's pathetic. But the point is, he probably has a good publicist. So here's the deal. They got these horrible publicists. And Drew has a publicist. God, I don't know why Drew has a publicist, but Drew got talked...

27:33 Drew Because I was instructed to get one.

27:34 Adam Drew got talked into a publicist.

27:36 Drew I didn't know anything about this business. So people instructed me to do something.

27:38 Adam They instructed me to get one too, and I started yelling.

27:41 Drew You have a life.

27:42 Adam I do not. I'm just good. So I don't need one.

27:44 Drew Oh, I see.

27:45 Adam Listen, you know why you use publicists? When you're not that good, and you want to get booked on shows. Let's face it. So they're horrible people, these publicists. So anyway, Drew's publicists. Well, actually, we don't get along that well. I've yelled at them on three or four occasions. I really treat them like they're mine. So scary. And they're about ready to kill me, those people. But Drew's publicist is Pam Anderson's publicist. And so they came out, and Pam was supposed to do the TV show on Friday, and Pam was late. And the way we do these TV shows is we do four of them in a day, and we have them scheduled pretty tightly. And if someone holds one up, it holds the next one up, obviously. And she was scheduled to show number three. Mark and Stan were coming out from... Oh, they were number two?

28:35 Drew She was number two.

28:36 Adam Oh, yeah, she was number two. Anyway, Mark and Stan from Sugar Ray were coming out next, and we didn't want to hold those guys up and all this kind of stuff. Well, Pam was late. The other two girls from VIP were there, but Pam was late. Now we've done another show with Pam, where we had to wait around for her to show up, which was the Donnie and Marie show. When Drew and I did that, we were waiting for Pam. Pam was going on before us, and the whole deal was is we couldn't get started because Pam was not there yet. Now, Drew and I have complained on many occasions that we get to these other shows, and we have to show up two hours early. If you tape at noon on a Wednesday, they want you there at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday because all the people show up late, they show up drunk, they show up high, whatever it is. They don't want to deal with it. I mean, they send a limo, and if tape time is 4 o'clock, they pick you up at noon, and you sit there for two and a half hours like a goddamn Lumox. And we always say to them, listen, we're professional. Tell us when to be here. We will be here. It'll take us 20 minutes in hair and makeup, and we'll gladly walk right out there. If the show starts at 2, we'll show up at 1 15 plenty of time. No, we got to show up at noon or 11 o'clock. And it's because...

29:51 Drew And we do. Every time.

29:52 Adam All right. Well, not me anymore. That's it with that.

29:55 Drew I'm with you on that.

29:55 Adam And I'm done with that BS. But the point is, is Pam Anderson shows up late to everything she does. And so I said, you know, she showed up late to another thing. And we've pretty much figured out, I don't want to mention any names. We talked to a couple of people in Pam's camp, and she's late to every everything she goes to. Everything. So I said, here's what we're going to do. We're going to start the show. And she can show up when she shows up, but we're starting the show. And the reason we're starting, the reason she's late to everything she does is because you people all sit around and excuse it. You wait like idiots. You treat her like a prima donna. You treat her like a child from the Twilight Zone episode where she's going to wish you into the cornfield, you pussies. And you all sit there at your thumb and your ass and then when she shows up, you don't even mention anything. Meanwhile, hold on, drum on a roll. You got the audience. You got crew. You got a whole bunch of people getting paid a whole bunch of money. I mean, when you start working out the hourly rate on a TV show in terms of holding up, you got a bunch of union guys working cameras. You got a bunch of executives. You got a bunch of security. You got a bunch of whatever. I mean, you might be talking about five grand for a half hour, 20 minutes or you mean easily.

31:13 Drew It's chit-chat, chit-chat. You might be talking about 30,000 for the studio.

31:17 Adam Yeah. Well, that's not our show, but maybe a real show. Maybe Donnie Marie. Yeah. Our show. We actually owe you money. But the point is, she's not showing up and no one's saying a word. So I go into Drew's dressing room.

31:31 Drew Imagine if you showed up late on the construction side or me late at a hospital. I just think I'm unthinkable.

31:37 Adam You would get fired and they'd sodomize you.

31:40 Drew And they'd hold you accountable for anything that happened as a result of you're being late.

31:43 Adam Right.

31:44 Drew Everything.

31:45 Adam But not in TV because you're Pam Anderson and everyone's scared to say anything to you, which I can't figure out in life. I mean, she's just some chick from Baywatch. You can't pipe up. Publicists won't pipe up. Producers won't pipe up. No one will pipe up. Now, I don't even blame Pam Anderson. Pam Anderson's just late and Pam Anderson is just does what I would do if I showed up everyone late, everywhere late and no one said anything.

32:08 Drew You show up late.

32:09 Adam I have friends who do that. They make a living out of doing that. They don't hold up productions, but they're half hour late to everything they go to. I don't blame her at all. She's just a chick from Baywatch who shows up late. I blame everyone else. So I said, here's what we're going to do. I got Drew out of his dress room and I started yelling at everybody. I hope I wasn't yelling too loud.

32:29 Drew You were yelling pretty loud.

32:29 Why?

32:30 Adam I don't know. I don't want to embarrass.

32:33 Drew You'll embarrass everybody.

32:34 Adam Don't worry. I said, listen, all you go to your station. You go to the booth. You go behind the camera. We're starting this show. We're starting this show now. She's not here. I don't care where she is. We've been waiting around for a half hour like a bunch of idiots. Let's go do our jobs. She can kiss my ass.

32:53 Drew Oh, buh buh buh buh buh buh. Well, they started the show.

32:56 Adam Well, no, I got another buh buh buh. And then I started yelling. I didn't know I had that much power. Well, as it turns out, I didn't. But I started yelling at everyone. Go to the booth. Shut up. Go do your job. Get behind the camera. Stop being a pussy. Start having some backbone. Stop being an enabler. Let's go. We're all not going to get our ass kicked by the silicone, bitch. Let's go. I got everyone to their position and we sat and we got in the show and we started the show. Now, Pam Anderson is not here yet and we started the show. And what did we do when we started the show, Drew?

33:26 Drew Like anything in Love Line, we talked about what we're feeling and what we just tapped us and where we were at. And we talked about this and we said, Baby, basically, we're going to walk the walk now and not just talk the talk. We're not going to be enablers anymore. Pam will be here in a few minutes. When she comes out, we'll walk them around. In the meantime, we're going to go out the show.

33:42 Adam I said, listen, Pam Anderson is going to be our guest. Pam Anderson is not here. We got tired of waiting for her. She does have a reputation of showing up late. And we've learned from this show, we don't want to be enablers. So we're going to start the show, hopefully teach her a valuable lesson. In the meantime, and she'll show up when she shows up.

34:01 Drew And we just go now to our first call.

34:02 Caller It's not our first call.

34:04 Drew Hold.

34:05 Adam Stop the camera.

34:06 Oh, okay.

34:08 Drew Oh, Adam Drup over here.

34:10 Adam No, it wasn't Adam Drew over here.

34:11 Drew It was Adam.

34:13 Adam Now Adam is on the stage.

34:14 Drew Adam goes, you come with me, you get your ass kicked too.

34:17 Adam Yelling like a madman on stage. Yelling at everybody, yelling everyone's a pussy and everything is this. Had to stop the show because now I started yelling. Did the publicist say to stop?

34:29 Drew Yes, you screamed that.

34:30 Adam I started yelling, did the publicist make us stop this show? And everyone yelled no, because if they yelled yes, I was going to storm into that thing and whack her on the head with a clipboard.

34:39 Drew You were knocked over the video.

34:40 Adam Oh, God, these publicists. The point is, is we had to stop the show because we weren't going to bad mouth Pamela Anderson. And my thing was, is I didn't bad mouth anybody. She's late. Do you understand that, you idiots, you spineless pussies? What the hell is wrong with you Hollywood people? She is late. She's effing all of us. Do you understand that there's 150 people with their thumb in their god damn ass because this chick can't haul her ass out of the limo.

35:12 Drew It's not her fault. Right?

35:14 Adam Well, I blame her parents. No, it's not her fault. It's our fault for sitting there on her asses. Now let's teach her a lesson and start this show. No, we're not going to bad mouth her. I said, what's bad mouth? Someone shows up late. You tell them they're late. She's holding up the whole production. Oh, it kills me, man. It kills me. TV wants to get away from anything that's real. If it's real, they're scared assless of it.

35:45 Drew So what happened? So Adam Aquea asked.

35:48 Adam We went back out there and we start.

35:49 Drew Did you ever say anything to her? No, she.

35:51 Adam I said, I'm pissed off, Drew. Go start the show.

35:54 Drew No, no. So you never, after all that, you never said anything to her?

36:00 Adam No, I didn't say a thing to her because I wanted just to finish the show now. And I didn't want, I didn't want anyone stopping the cameras anymore. And I got to the point where we had to do, we had another show or two more shows to do after that one. I went out there. I said, let's start the show. We had to restart the entire show. I went out and high-fived everyone and did a whole big BS Hollywood, Hollywood opening where I got going with the dog pound. And I high-fived everyone in the audience and I told Drew how happy I was to be there. And then I told Drew I was pissed off and he could start the show. And we just started and just went right into it. And she showed up right then anyway. And I just thought, you know what? I'm not getting into it because they'll stop the cameras again. And we're going to be here all day.

36:50 Off the air? Did you say anything to her?

36:51 Drew Every time we were off the air.

36:52 Adam I didn't see her off the air. I went right back to our room and she went to her thing. And it was like, it was just like, it was over.

36:59 Drew Did you have any time at all?

37:01 Adam Oh, I could have. I could have. No, I mean, I could have, you know, confronted her or whatever. But the deal was, she was late. She was a half hour late.

37:11 Caller But it seems like you're really, really, really upset.

37:14 Adam I wasn't upset at her. I was upset at everybody.

37:19 Drew For enabling it.

37:19 Adam For enabling it. My whole thing was she's late. She's Pam Anderson. Fine. Let's start the show.

37:27 Caller Right. But you just called her a bunch of bad names.

37:29 So it seems like you're a little upset at her.

37:31 Adam No, not. I don't have a beef with her. I really don't.

37:34 Drew She was delightful.

37:35 Adam She was fine on the show and she's late to everything she goes to. And I understand that. And I really, I swear to God, I don't blame her. Just like, I don't blame. I don't blame like junkies. I just feel sorry for him. That's the way I feel.

37:52 Drew You understand, this strikes a.

37:54 Adam I blame the dealers, not the junkies.

37:56 Drew A sensitive chord for Adam and that he believes that everyone in Hollywood should behave like employers and employees and people running a business, right?

38:06 Adam You run your business like a business. If you're Pam Anderson's publicist, you pull her side and say, hey listen, you're showing up late to everything all the time. It's pissing a lot of people off. Let's see what we can do about that. I don't know, I don't want to freak out, but let's just, if the thing's two o'clock, show up at two o'clock, you understand? It's a business. You're plugging your show. They're helping you plug your show. That's it, let's go. I mean, that's the deal.

38:30 Drew Then there in our, the producer's position was, oh, she's got a million things ahead of this. She's been nice enough to come out. And Adam shut the hell up. Of course, if we knew once he got on the radio, there'd be a, we'd be carrying on about it.

38:43 Adam Like I said, do not blame Pam Anderson. Pam Anderson is nice.

38:47 Drew You've used some derogatory terms about her.

38:49 Caller Yeah, you should call her.

38:50 Drew Stone bitch, I think was the term you used specifically.

38:53 Adam Now you bring it up again.

38:55 Well, you just yelled it five minutes ago. So that's why I think there's something else there.

38:59 Adam I know, but to hear Drew say it, it really sounds worse, doesn't it? I was in the middle of a tirade.

39:03 No, it sounded pretty bad when you said it.

39:05 Adam All right, listen, I got nothing against Pam Anderson.

39:07 Drew Apologize to her.

39:08 Adam No.

39:09 Drew Yeah.

39:09 Adam Well, listen, she was late.

39:10 Drew She is late. Not for that part, for the tirade. All those denigrating terms.

39:15 Adam She made us wait for two shows. I'm not gonna apologize to her.

39:19 Drew I know. Not for being angry at being late.

39:21 Adam Would you shut up, Drew? And stop kissing ass. Listen, I don't care if she comes on this show, so stop kissing ass. All right. Now listen to me. Nothing against her. I met her a couple of times. We had her on here with Tommy. Tommy let me drive his car around the block afterward. She's a nice woman. She's late. That's all. Someone should tell her. That's my only thing with her. And my beef is her people and our people for not starting our show and just making the point of if you want to teach someone not to be late, you have some consequences. They show up late, they miss something. That's all. People don't have any balls and they don't have any. This business is, you know, and why do you think half the business, by the way, I was just watching the Chris Farley story tonight. Why do you think half the people just kill themselves, oh, Dean? People don't want to say anything. People don't want to say anything to anybody. Come on, Mike, don't give me that puss. You know, you do the same thing with Lycus. All right, we'll be back.

40:24 Drew We'll actually take some calls when we get back.

40:25 Adam We'll think about it.

40:27 Caller This is Pam Lully, and you're listening to Love Line with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

41:04 Adam All right, here we go. Drew, can we take some calls, please?

41:07 Drew Please.

41:08 Adam Please.

41:09 Drew Please. Tiffany.

41:11 Adam Thank you. Tiffany.

41:12 Caller Hey, guys.

41:14 Adam Oh, the update.

41:15 Caller Yes.

41:15 Adam Yeah, you're accused of killing your dad.

41:17 Caller Yeah, a couple years ago, I called you guys about some really abusive relationships I had been in. And it was because of my father, and he had just got married two Novembers ago. It wasn't last November. I never remember before.

41:31 Drew Right.

41:32 Caller And I had called when Adam and Dr. Bruce were on.

41:35 Drew Okay. Okay.

41:36 Adam That gives you a reason for not remembering.

41:38 Drew Yeah. Did you call back again after that?

41:41 Caller No.

41:41 Drew I swear I remember something like this.

41:43 Caller A couple months ago.

41:45 Adam Here's the comedy. When we said Tiffany was giving us an update call of being accused of killing her dad, I said, I don't remember. And Drew said, yeah, I think I do remember. As it turns out, I was here and Drew wasn't. So we're both lying.

41:58 Drew So what's the deal?

41:59 Caller So on his wedding night, the night after his wedding, he had shot himself right in front of me and told me that it was my fault.

42:06 Drew Oh, my God.

42:07 Caller And I just got off trial for.

42:09 Adam Wait a minute. How do you tell you it was your fault after he shot himself?

42:12 Caller Right before he shot himself.

42:13 Adam Oh, OK. Where did he shoot himself?

42:15 Caller In the head.

42:16 Adam Oh, he killed himself?

42:17 Caller Yeah.

42:18 Drew Didn't anybody?

42:20 Adam He said it was your fault?

42:21 Caller Yeah.

42:22 Adam To his own daughter?

42:23 Caller I had driven him to it because I wasn't good enough and.

42:28 Adam Hold on a second, Tiffany. You know, there's. Not that it matters, but did he actually say that? Because there's a lot of, you know, people that my dad says I'm a loser, my dad's. But did he actually say to you, listen, you're driving me. This is the reason I'm doing it. And then he pulled the trigger.

42:47 Caller Yes. He told me that I wasn't good enough and that if I was better, he wouldn't have to do this.

42:52 Adam And then he pulled the trigger.

42:53 Caller And then it was my fault.

42:54 Drew And then he pulled the trigger.

42:56 Caller No, no alcohol or drugs or anything. I think it's just, I don't know.

42:59 Adam It's too bad he's not a publicist. He's dead, right?

43:03 Drew Tiffany, has anybody, I mean, after this amazing experience, and amazing in the worst sense of the word, has anybody attempted to help you?

43:14 Caller No, I'm too stubborn and I wouldn't go get help. I just couldn't deal with it on my own.

43:20 Drew There is really no deal out of stuff like this on your own.

43:23 Adam He might as well deal with-

43:25 Drew Take your appendix out on your own.

43:28 Adam Yeah, give yourself a pap smear while you're dealing with this.

43:32 Caller Oh, God.

43:33 Adam You can't deal with this on your own.

43:35 Caller It's just like if I put it in back of my mind, it doesn't bother me.

43:37 Adam No, no.

43:39 Drew It will get you. It has to bother you in some way. I mean, look, your father, just the experience of, I didn't want to repeat it. I don't want to repeat what happened to you. It's so troubling. And then to be accused and go through a trial. Well, what?

43:52 Adam You were accused of murdering him?

43:53 Caller Yeah, his wife that he had just married that day, because it was after his wedding. It was that night that he had done this.

44:02 Drew Something really bizarre about this. He had to be on some meds. I mean, it's so...

44:06 Adam He was a very unstable guy. I mean, this is not just, hey, I'm pissed off. This is altered. Yeah.

44:15 Caller He's always been very abusive and stuff like that. I mean, he's just...

44:20 Adam Yeah.

44:20 Drew Off the scale, I'm sure.

44:21 Adam So what did he do to you? I mean, what kind of abuse?

44:23 Caller Well, my mom and I had moved out for about two years right before the divorce had happened because he had told us to get the guns out because we had hunting guns and the handguns, and he aimed them at us and loaded them.

44:41 Adam Right.

44:42 Caller I mean, he's always been totally psychotic.

44:44 Adam Well, you know, a good thing that he killed himself and didn't take a few people with him kind of thing. Yeah. All right. So Tiffany, listen, I need six months therapy after just hearing this call. Yeah. So I know you're going to need something. I mean, please. Do you have a relationship now?

45:03 Caller Yeah, I do. I've been in it for three months now and he's totally awesome.

45:07 Adam Really? Who's it?

45:08 Caller He's gotten me over the part to where like I go to touch my face or something. I don't jump six feet away from him.

45:15 Adam That's good.

45:16 Caller I mean, he's gotten me over a lot of it, but it's just like-

45:19 Adam Oh, no, no. Listen.

45:20 Caller But it's kept me from getting a job. I went through school and everything and I got my EMT certification.

45:27 Drew Great. You're going to go work?

45:28 Caller Yeah. I haven't been able to work.

45:31 Drew Why?

45:31 Caller Because of this.

45:32 Drew I'm sure.

45:32 Adam It's either emergency medical technician or electromagnetic tubing, depending on what you do for a living.

45:39 Caller Emergency medical technician. Yeah.

45:40 Adam See, to me, it's the kind of it.

45:42 Caller And for the hypo and the hyper, all you have to do is go hypo is low. That's how you remember it. Well, you mean- That's how it sounds like low.

45:51 Adam Right.

45:51 Caller Low.

45:52 Adam And hyper sounds like?

45:54 Caller Hyper is hyperactive when you have more energy.

45:57 Adam All right. Tiffany.

46:00 Caller Yeah.

46:00 Adam You got to get some therapy because this guy not only screwed you up in the beginning, the middle, and the very end, he left a nice legacy for you, something for you to see when you close your eyes.

46:12 Drew Maybe just some group work, somewhere you can go and deal with this stuff and get some support.

46:16 Adam She sounds relatively sane.

46:19 Drew Yeah, but it's just, it's not possible to be completely intact after that sort of amazing trauma. I mean, I'm delighted that she is, but whoa.

46:29 Adam Could you imagine if your dad did that in front of you, Drew? I mean, having to step over him to go to the fridge. I mean, I mean, you know what I'm saying, Drew, how upset you'd be.

46:38 Drew How about him lining up all the kids and having guns at them? Kids.

46:41 Adam Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Oh boy. You know, this guy had a couple of boys too, that are out causing a couple of problems. Daisy.

46:50 Yeah.

46:50 Adam You're 29.

46:51 Caller Oh, man.

46:52 Adam All right.

46:52 Caller Yeah.

46:53 Caller Right. Hey, how you guys doing?

46:56 Adam OK.

46:57 Drew We're going to have to go to break, though, now.

46:58 Caller We are.

46:59 Caller Oh, man.

47:02 Adam Should you continue to prosecute rapists?

47:04 Caller Yes.

47:05 Adam It's so hard on you.

47:07 Caller He raped me twice.

47:08 Adam Two times. OK.

47:11 Drew Them's betting words.

47:12 Adam Yeah. We may have to do a little gambling on you, Daisy.

47:15 Caller A little gambling?

47:16 Adam Yeah. All right.

47:18 Caller Can you figure me out?

47:20 Adam Yeah, I think we'll get close. Drew's already got it. You want me to just give you the dollar? Should we actually just go through the ceremony of gambling?

47:25 Drew It's actually better.

47:27 Adam All right. Hang on there, Daisy. Mike wants us to take a break. I say we take more calls, but engineer Mike, everybody says we got to pay the man. So we'll be back. Kiss my ass, Adam. Thank you. With more Loveline.

47:39 Drew I feel so liquidy.

47:40 Caller Really? Oh, God. Oh, God!

49:00 Oh, God.

49:02 Caller Radio that keeps you up at night. It's Loveline only on WABN.

49:20 Adam All right, we got to take a little 10-second station identification, top-of-the-hour break, and we'll be right back with more Loveline in 10 seconds.

49:31 Caller This is Loveline on radio station.

49:36 Caller We're the G-spot on your radio dial.

49:39 Caller Oh, you're right there.

49:40 Caller Loveline on 1027.

49:43 Caller W-E-B-N, Cincinnati.

49:47 Adam This is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Drew, remember what's the first thing I announced when I came in here tonight?

49:54 Drew Did you crash your plane?

49:55 Adam No. What's the second thing I announced when I came in here?

50:00 Drew That you had something to get off your chest about Pam Anderson.

50:02 Adam No. To you before the show started, what did I announce to you?

50:07 Drew This just proves I don't listen to what the hell you're talking about.

50:09 Adam 10 minutes before the show started, what did I tell you?

50:12 Drew Give me a hint.

50:13 Adam Gas.

50:14 Drew Oh yeah, yeah. You did warn us. You warned Brad, actually, that the gas was going to be a serious issue tonight. And I warned him that you'd probably be like, yeah, yeah, okay, all right.

50:23 Adam That wasn't me, Brad. Young Brad.

50:26 Drew Adam did point out the other day though, that men fart at each other. So I expect of you start up.

50:32 Adam The point is I had just hellacious gas all day today. And I came in here really ready to wreak havoc on you, Drew. And I made the mistake of taking a crap before the show started and the toilet stole my thunder.

50:46 Drew Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that.

50:49 Adam And you're lucky you brought Brad in here. Because otherwise you would have got... Oh, Ann was standing around. That's what it was. That's what it was.

50:55 Drew I thought you were going to start lighting things up.

50:57 Adam Oh, Ann. I blew a... I was going to say golden opportunity, golden brown opportunity with Ann standing right here. Ann, it's because I respect you so much. Daisy?

51:07 Caller Yeah.

51:08 Adam So you're 29. You were raped twice by the same guy.

51:12 Caller Yeah.

51:12 Adam Okay. Hold on. We're going to do some gambling, Drew?

51:14 Caller Yeah.

51:15 Drew I have a change here.

51:17 Adam You got some money?

51:21 Drew This is good radio.

51:21 Caller Here, I've got a quarter.

51:22 Caller Here you go.

51:24 Drew I'm down a quarter.

51:25 Adam You're so cheap. Drew threw five quarters out there and then dove on the fifth and squirreled it back into his pocket for fear that he'd get a buck 25. All right. There's your buck. There's my buck.

51:36 Drew Who's first?

51:38 Adam I'll go first. Uh, sexual abuse, who raped her? This guy raped her twice. Is it her boyfriend? Is it, is it, you know, is it a date rape thing? She's 29, got raped. Dad, dad, sexual abuse, sexual abuse, dad.

51:59 Drew Okay.

51:59 Adam All right.

51:59 Drew Physical abuse, dad.

52:00 Adam Ooh, toying with that.

52:03 Drew I don't need to get more specific than that.

52:04 Adam She's prosecuting. Okay.

52:07 Drew And let's, all right.

52:08 Adam She's prosecuting.

52:09 Drew Let's make some predictions about her sexuality. What would she like, like as a teenager?

52:14 Adam Um, um, put out?

52:16 Drew So wild as a teenager, sexual abuse, I'm going to go, I'm going to go physically abused and nothing as a teenager.

52:22 Adam Ice?

52:23 Drew Ice.

52:23 Adam Okay. Maybe she went to high school with me.

52:25 Drew Maybe, yeah, triggered the ice reaction.

52:28 Adam Something to drink in water in San Fernando Valley.

52:30 Caller So, um, it was actually my ex-husband slash stepfather.

52:37 Drew Your stepfather became your husband?

52:39 Caller Yes.

52:39 Caller Okay. Oh, boy.

52:42 Adam We may have to double down. What, uh, where's your dad?

52:47 Caller Oh, my stepfather?

52:48 Drew No, your dad.

52:48 Adam Where's your dad?

52:49 Caller My real dad, I have no idea.

52:51 Drew How old were you when you lost him?

52:53 Caller Um, well, my mother divorced him at two. Because he was a psycho.

52:58 Drew What did he do to you before you were two?

53:00 Caller Um, he, my mom says that he kicked my crib and he tried to kill me.

53:05 Drew Physically?

53:06 Caller Physically.

53:06 Drew Okay.

53:07 Adam Not with his penis?

53:08 Caller Uh, no.

53:10 Adam You sure?

53:10 Caller No, but the person that I'm trying to prosecute tried to.

53:15 Drew And this was...

53:16 Adam Tried to rape you.

53:16 Drew Was this your stepfather husband?

53:19 Caller Yes.

53:20 Adam Who, who raped you before this guy, though?

53:22 Caller Nobody, but I've had other abuse.

53:25 Drew Sexual abuse?

53:27 Caller Um, everything.

53:28 Adam Who, who sexually abused you?

53:30 Caller My stepfather.

53:31 Drew Starting at what age?

53:32 Caller My sister, sister, and everything.

53:34 Drew Starting at what age?

53:35 Caller Thirteenth.

53:36 Adam All right, hold on. Let me argue with Drew for a second.

53:38 Drew Wait, wait.

53:38 Adam In this instance, I think the stepfather becomes the father. Here's why. Let me make my...

53:47 Drew I think because the physical abuse became first, I win. I think it's a push. I think it's a push.

53:51 Adam Okay. We're arguing. I mean, yeah, okay. You know, the primary male role is what we're trying to figure out. What did he do? Did he beat her? Did he F her?

53:59 Drew He beat her, and then another one came in after.

54:02 Adam Yeah, but that was two. You know, that don't affect anybody.

54:04 Drew Yeah, right.

54:05 Adam Kids, besides, you know, when you're one, one and a half, you're kind of asking for it.

54:10 Caller No, he didn't beat me. He didn't beat me, but he...

54:13 Adam Sexually abused you.

54:14 Caller He sexually abused me, and he psychologically screwed me up.

54:17 Drew And then you...

54:18 Adam This was your stepdad.

54:20 Caller Yes.

54:20 Adam Now, when did he come on to the scene? How old were you?

54:23 Caller Nine years old.

54:25 Adam Nine years old. And when did the physical relationship began at 13?

54:28 Caller Yeah.

54:29 Drew And then when did you marry him?

54:31 Adam Well, who could say no to all that?

54:32 Caller No, no, it wasn't, it wasn't just that. I mean, my mom, like, said, okay, stay out of my life. You know, at the age of 10, you're on your own. Go to school, do your homework. Just don't bother me. And I said, fine, okay, I'll do it. You know, and I did it. You know, I basically took care of myself until he came along and then he took care of the rest.

54:52 Drew And when did you marry him?

54:54 Caller I married him, um, guilt, mostly.

54:58 Drew When? How old were you?

55:00 Adam What age is guilt?

55:03 Caller Let's see, when did I marry him?

55:05 Drew Roughly.

55:05 Caller 91.

55:07 Drew And you're now 29, so that's 21.

55:08 Adam You can't spit out an age, by the way. I mean...

55:11 Drew 21, let's say. 2021.

55:12 Adam Oh, let me try a quick test for Drew. How old were you when you graduated high school?

55:16 Drew Eight to 17.

55:17 Adam When you got married?

55:19 Drew 32.

55:19 Adam Okay. See, there you go. It's real easy. All right, so Daisy, you married the guy when you were, what was she, 47? I gotta do the math.

55:28 Drew 21, 21.

55:29 Adam 21, you married him. Why did you marry him?

55:32 Caller Why? To this day, I still ask the question why. Oh, okay.

55:39 Drew And in the same guy?

55:40 Caller Well, I mean, he kept telling me that I had to keep the promise, because he said that if I divorced my, when he divorced my mom, he was going to marry me at 17.

55:50 Adam Your mom's a real gem, by the way. She marries Mr. Abuser, kicks him out when you're two, and then finds his brother.

55:59 Caller She went to AA and found this guy, and then brought him to my grandfather's house where he wasn't too pleased.

56:05 Adam Right. Yeah. Well, don't worry. Whenever you think about how much you hate your mom because what she did to you and how she ruined your childhood, just go ahead and sleep like a baby because someone did something to her when she was a kid.

56:21 Caller Of course.

56:21 Adam Of course.

56:22 Drew Her alcoholic dad.

56:23 Adam Her alcoholic grandpa, your grandpa. Somebody abused her.

56:28 Caller But the question is now is that he's gone out of my life, and I just want to know, you know, should I stop him from doing this to somebody else? Because I don't want him victimizing somebody else.

56:40 Drew Well, you look...

56:41 Caller I don't want them being as screwed up as I feel. Yeah.

56:44 Drew You first and foremost need to focus on yourself and getting yourself healed as much as possible from all this. If there is action that somebody is advising you to take, it can be a very personal decision about what you should do. Certainly it's nice.

56:57 Adam He raped you while you were married?

56:59 Caller Yeah. He got totally...

57:01 Drew You're probably not going to receive much satisfaction, I would expect.

57:05 Caller It's not satisfaction for me.

57:07 Adam I understand. Did you press charges on his behalf or against him?

57:13 Drew When that happened?

57:15 Caller Not right away.

57:16 Drew It's going to be really hard to...

57:17 Caller Yeah, I know. I know that. I mean, it was just the fear, because he is the threat.

57:22 Drew Here's an idea. It seems like you have a need to be of service to other people as a result of what you've been through. Why don't you go through a process of healing, get involved in some sort of rape help group, and ultimately yourself, then help other women who have been through this sort of thing? If you really need to do that kind of thing, that's a way to be of service and help be helped.

57:46 Caller I mean, I've gone to a rape harassment place and to me, it felt like going to the doctors, you know, like, oh no, I'm going to get the shot, you know?

57:58 Adam You're not going to want to go, believe me, believe me, but go, you have to.

58:04 Caller I've been once.

58:06 Adam Oh, well, if you've been once, that'll do it.

58:08 Drew You're going to need to go regularly for years, and then you can begin to be of service to someone else.

58:13 Adam You have any kids?

58:14 Caller No, thank you.

58:15 Drew Oh, Daisy, yes.

58:17 Caller I've got myself totally, I mean, I've had some, you know.

58:22 Adam An abortion?

58:23 Caller No, just other men, just like.

58:26 Adam Yeah, don't ever get pregnant.

58:27 Caller Actually, I had a triangle going on for a while, and I'm glad that was over.

58:30 Drew Well, listen, Daisy, you're going to head towards chaos. That's going to be your natural direction.

58:37 Caller That's pretty much my middle name is chaos.

58:39 Drew I know, but it's time to end that.

58:40 Adam You're a religious woman at all, Daisy?

58:43 Caller No, but my mother is.

58:45 Adam Oh, thank God. Yeah.

58:48 Drew She's clearly one of the gods.

58:49 Adam Well, listen, I'm a very, I'm a devout Christian, as you know, Drew. And I know that God will deal with this man very harshly and that he will never get away with this again.

59:00 Drew Well, but you know what?

59:00 Adam You understand how the Lord works?

59:02 Drew But you know what?

59:02 Adam You think the Lord would let this guy victimize another woman, do you, Drew? Honestly, not the Lord.

59:07 Drew But.

59:08 Adam Do you think? How do you think he may rape another eight chicks before he dies of old age?

59:13 Drew I think something will happen to him. People like this don't live long lives. This crap happens.

59:18 Adam There's a.

59:18 Drew Yeah, it does. I mean, it's got a plan. Yeah. You know, I was watching some television show today and this guy was walking around and he goes, and look in this house. He goes in here. This young interviews this woman. She has six children. She works a job at night and the kids live on the floor in a mattress and in the next room. And here's Joni. She has six kids or eight kids and they're all living in it. And the argument was, why aren't we giving more money to these hardworking women? Nobody ever said, why don't we put these men in jail? The father, as if they don't come in here and support these kids. Or why do these people have all these kids? Ever. Never comes up.

59:54 Adam Drew, please.

59:55 Drew Never comes up.

59:56 Adam Stop playing God. Stop playing God. Let me tell you something about God. God doesn't play God anymore, you idiots. If God would start playing God, I wouldn't have to play God. Let me tell you what God should do, providing there is one. And I'm telling you there isn't. As God is my witness, there's no God. But let me tell you something about God, everybody. If God was doing his goddamn job, he'd not let these women who were living well beneath the poverty level, who were strung out on crack, who were on heroin, who did not have a man and not have a stable environment have their sixth kid. God would, by the way, not let rapists go on to rape again and victimize again. God would not let people like Daisy, who'd been horribly abused their entire life, continue to be horribly abused in their adult life. Let me tell you about God's plan. I got two scenarios for God's plan. Either it's the worst goddamn plan I've ever heard in my effing life, or there's no plan, you idiots, because there's no God. So, therefore, because there's no God, I'm gonna have to step in and fill God's big sandals. And I'm gonna have to send these people the NOR plan, get them to stop having all these crappy kids that they can't take care of, and we gotta take care of. And here's my plan. Instead of sending over food, let's send over some birth control. Please, you idiots. Why doesn't the news ever talk about this? Oh, oh, you know why? Because the second you start talking about anything, it turns into a racial thing. Oh, the chick's black, she has five kids. The chick's Mexican, she has five kids. You can't talk about it. Forget about the ethnicity. You just bring it up. Five kids and no money? We're gonna put an end to it. I don't care, I don't care for your Martian. I don't care. It's not an ethnic thing. Whatever it is, that's the law. Speeding, speed limit, I don't care if you're Eskimo or Chinese. It's 55 miles an hour. That's it. Same thing. You can't have kids if you don't have money. And you're already on state assistance. That's it. I don't care what color you are.

1:02:15 Drew Or, but holding the men more accountable. That's the other part. I mean, if we had laws that forced men to be accountable.

1:02:22 Adam I just want to start killing them. Mike, you're 17.

1:02:25 Caller Hey, what's up? How y'all doing?

1:02:26 Adam I'm playing God.

1:02:27 Drew What's up, Mike?

1:02:29 Caller Yeah, my girlfriend claims that she's noticed a difference in me, like sexually, because I smoke weed, right? Like kind of a lot.

1:02:36 Drew Well, that will definitely change your sexual functioning. I mean, that's, it'll raise the testosterone level. Look, I should cause your breast to grow at your age. And it can affect your, your various ways, affect your level of arousal.

1:02:49 Adam There's a lot of skinny stoners out there. Remember that's Bacalli from Fast Times.

1:02:54 Drew I'm just saying, it would be, it would be a, you know, a predictable response to the daily pod for six months.

1:03:00 Caller Right. What about the actual size though?

1:03:02 Drew Yeah, because your estrogen levels go up, testosterone levels go down. That can do that.

1:03:07 Caller Right.

1:03:08 Adam You're really bummin inside.

1:03:10 Caller I didn't believe her anything. It's just the fact that, you know, I didn't notice it myself. I thought maybe she was just using that as an excuse or something.

1:03:16 Adam Well, hold on.

1:03:16 Drew Maybe she is.

1:03:17 Adam True. What's gonna cause the male breast to grow faster, pot or corn dogs?

1:03:23 Drew Pot.

1:03:24 Adam No.

1:03:25 Drew Pot.

1:03:25 Adam You put weight on, your breasts are gonna start growing.

1:03:28 Drew No, the most of the ones I've seen are from the skinny guys.

1:03:30 Adam Oh really?

1:03:31 Drew Oh yes. Well, that's because they're the ones that complain. Yeah, they're the ones that really.

1:03:34 Adam That's bad.

1:03:34 Drew Yeah.

1:03:35 Adam That don't look good.

1:03:36 Drew Yeah.

1:03:36 Adam A guy with, a big guy, you almost expect a little flavage.

1:03:38 Drew They don't complain. They don't come in complaining about it.

1:03:41 Adam Mike, you skinny?

1:03:43 Caller Yeah.

1:03:44 Caller Oh, I'm on the thin side.

1:03:45 Adam Yeah, but you're not on the Pritikin diet or anything, are you? No, no, I'm not like that. You eat a lot of junk, right?

1:03:52 Caller Yeah.

1:03:52 Adam Yeah.

1:03:53 Drew You got alcoholic in your family somewhere? Grandpa?

1:03:56 Caller Yeah, my grandparents were on my mother's side.

1:03:59 Drew Yeah, that's what you've got, Mike. And this is how that's expressing itself.

1:04:03 Caller Oh, man.

1:04:04 Drew Yeah. So I'm keeping an eye on it. It's a real thing.

1:04:07 Adam Yeah. I was watching that Chris Farley story in the Eat True Hollywood Store. It's the only show I watch.

1:04:13 Drew And you never miss a one.

1:04:15 Adam I never miss a one.

1:04:16 Drew So go ahead. What happened?

1:04:17 Adam I never miss a one.

1:04:18 Drew I know.

1:04:18 Adam Well, usually. Well, I have my schedule pretty laid out on Sunday. I get up at seven. I go search for my plane in a field for about four hours.

1:04:26 Drew It's every Sunday.

1:04:27 Adam Every Sunday. Then I go to a local church where I'm playing God. Of course, I play God for a while. I get tired of that. You know, fake beard. That's where I got to get a rash off that fake beard. Then I go home and I take a nap. And then God masturbates usually. And then I watch football. And then I'm always home every Sunday night at eight o'clock because I come in here. I mean, you're never anywhere at eight o'clock on a Sunday, are you?

1:04:54 Drew The hospital, if anywhere.

1:04:55 Adam Sitting home in front of the TV. And there it is. That E. True Hollywood story. And I cannot get enough of that. And the two hour ones I got to cut out on, but I taped the last hour. Of course, I have to have the TV on and the tape still running when I get home because God can't figure out the timer on the VCR. But watch that Chris Farley story. Oh, yeah.

1:05:18 Drew About addiction and how it works.

1:05:20 Adam Yes. Oh, man. Oh, man. There was a guy just, just hell bent. Just hell bent on exploring.

1:05:28 Drew And interesting how now they tell the story. When he's alive, nobody can talk about it.

1:05:32 Adam Well, he had a publicist. Publicists can't let that kind of stuff come out. So you put them on a show and you talk about nothing. Let's talk about Black Sheep or Beverly Hills Ninja. Does that seem like an important topic now?

1:05:49 Drew Exactly.

1:05:50 Adam A year after the guy's in the ground, what do you think would have been a more important topic to discuss when he was on Leno? Sobriety or Beverly Hills Ninja?

1:05:58 Drew It's exactly why I'm dying to have a talk show, just to put those people on and really take things apart a little.

1:06:03 Adam Right. But it has to be some entertainment value, Drew. You understand?

1:06:06 Drew I know. But they'll break down a cry.

1:06:08 Adam No. Listen, they won't put a show on that talks about something real. You can't sell that to the idiots.

1:06:16 Drew I'm just thinking, think about it. Out there, there's people, you can talk about political stories, you know, politics. You can talk about, again, it's all about stories. Stories, but no substance beneath them.

1:06:28 Adam Right. No players. Lucas?

1:06:32 Yeah.

1:06:32 Adam He's 36.

1:06:33 Good evening, Adam. Good evening, Drew.

1:06:35 Adam Hey.

1:06:35 Hey, I was wondering about the psilocybin mushrooms, whether they harm the liver or not.

1:06:39 Drew I've heard of things like that happening, but I've never seen any cases of it.

1:06:44 Because I know that the mushrooms in general are toxic to the liver, and I was wondering if psilocybin was in it.

1:06:50 Drew Not the way like Amanita phylloides would be in these sorts of highly toxic mushrooms.

1:06:56 Adam Well, the real liver damage comes when you get drunk, disoriented, and you fall down on a sprinkler on your high school lawn. That's where the real damage comes, because you can poke yourself right in the liver.

1:07:07 Hey, I had another question.

1:07:10 Drew Yeah, right now. Okay, yeah, look. What's up?

1:07:14 Adam How many mushrooms do you take?

1:07:16 I never go above like a gram.

1:07:18 Drew How often do you take it?

1:07:19 I've done it about maybe twice in the last month.

1:07:23 Drew Okay.

1:07:24 Adam Let me tell you the thing about mushrooms, Drew. You got to figure out how much to take. It's not really a science. I mean, when you look at mushrooms, you don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you don't know the potency of the mushrooms. So if you... No, no. Don't go woof. You'd probably have a good time. But listen, you'd really... Then I'd really be God. But here's the...

1:07:49 Drew I think you might turn red and grow horns.

1:07:50 Adam Here's the deal, Drew. If you don't take enough, you don't really get off. You just sort of... You don't see anything. And if you take too much, you'll freak out for a day. So there's a balance to strike.

1:08:01 Drew That's what I'm saying.

1:08:02 Adam It tastes bad, too. Tastes like...

1:08:05 Drew What's your other question, Lucas?

1:08:06 I had a question about estrogen mimickers. I was reading a book that talks about PCBs and pesticides and growth stimuli that are fed to livestock. And they're saying that really small amounts of these chemicals can cause really significant changes in sexual development of fetuses and things like that. And I'm wondering if on a larger scale, since PCBs are found all over the world in the Arctic and in every woman's breast milk, I was wondering if these could be responsible for broader effects in society, like difficulty in conception and increased rates of homosexuality and sexual dysfunction.

1:08:47 Adam And not a bad fun. Yeah, all the gays consume McDonald's.

1:08:52 Drew So I mean the sweeping question you're asking is could we find some chemical reason for the current state of decay of our civilization?

1:09:00 Adam It would be nice. Yeah. I blame Derwienerschnitzel personally. It's their chili size.

1:09:06 It's only in the last like fifty years that these chemicals have been around.

1:09:09 Adam Well, it's interesting, but you see, first off, here's what people would come back at you with from an argument standpoint. There's always been gays around, and just because we happen to be talking about it more doesn't necessarily mean there's more. So how would you explain all the gays in the 16th century? I mean, obviously, they didn't have a bovine growth hormone back then.

1:09:37 Caller Well, I think the percentage is higher now, though.

1:09:40 Adam It may be, but I don't, we don't know that, and I don't know that we have any way of really documenting that. I mean, if you looked back a hundred years, I don't know if you could document that because it was so stigmatized that people wouldn't talk about it. And so there was no way of telling except for like Oscar Wilde.

1:09:58 Caller Right.

1:09:59 Adam I mean, anyone involved with the theater, I think it's safe to say, except for John Wilkes Booth, because he actually assassinated somebody. So he's off the list.

1:10:06 Caller But if you look at society in general, it seems to have sort of feminized over the last, you know, 34 years with women becoming more aggressive.

1:10:15 Drew Yeah, but then why aren't women being feminized more instead of becoming more aggressive?

1:10:20 Adam Yeah.

1:10:21 Caller Well, it doesn't affect women differently. I mean, when they get estrogen, doesn't it make them...

1:10:26 Drew It makes them more passive and more receptive.

1:10:28 Adam It does? Yes. I'm going to work that in along with the birth control and the drinking water supply.

1:10:34 Caller Adam, can I get a little bit of the Russian wrapper when you have a chance? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and dingo boy.

1:10:39 Adam Oh, boy, that's true. Thanks, Lucas. All right, I'll write that down. The show, we've taken two and a half calls and I know it's been just me yapping. You know, I do extra yapping on Sunday because I got a weekend full of stuff to get out.

1:10:55 Drew And I think that and the whole day of TV.

1:10:57 Adam Yeah, I know and doesn't like it.

1:10:59 Drew Makes you crazy.

1:11:00 Adam I got one like the only radio producers in the country that doesn't like it when I yap.

1:11:05 Drew No, you understand, it produces a talk show and doesn't want you to talk.

1:11:08 Adam That's so not true. She's not fond of the yapping part of the talk show.

1:11:13 Caller I think you're very funny at it.

1:11:14 Adam Oh, God bless you. I know, I know. We're supposed to take calls.

1:11:18 Drew It wouldn't be fun if I just sat here and smiled and laughed at everything you said, right?

1:11:22 Adam That's true. You should play solitaire on the computer. What are you playing on the computer in?

1:11:26 Drew Solitaire. Oh, wow. You are my teacher.

1:11:31 Caller All right.

1:11:32 Adam Yeah, we're going to take a break. Drew, who are we talking to when we come back?

1:11:36 Caller Nicole.

1:11:38 Drew Let's see.

1:11:39 Adam What does she want?

1:11:39 Drew It's the second time she's been into a friend of her exes. Is she simply seeking drama?

1:11:45 Adam Okay, we'll be back.

1:11:54 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:12:01 Caller W-E-B-N.

1:12:19 Adam Oh, God.

1:12:47 Caller Man turns animal for the erotic pleasures of women.

1:12:51 Caller It's lovely.

1:12:58 Caller Hi, I'm Robin Leach with those Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams, and you're listening to Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

1:13:08 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:13:10 Adam I just heard the Corolla part, but I'm guessing that's Robin Leach.

1:13:13 Drew Yeah.

1:13:13 Adam No, yeah. What's he selling now? Robin Leach rolled in with... Remember, he was wearing that Tournament of the Masters bright green blazer.

1:13:30 Drew Yeah, Montecristo cigar.

1:13:32 Adam He was making fun of him the whole time? He seemed like a nice guy. Oh, yeah. That is the lifestyle. Now that we're getting a little celebrity, I wish he still had that lifestyle, the rich and famous thing on.

1:13:46 Drew Oh, but for Corolla, they would never put us on it.

1:13:49 Adam Well, who knows? Maybe in a couple of years, when I really do something, you know what I mean?

1:13:54 Caller Have you ever seen the celebrities on those things?

1:13:56 Adam Yeah, they don't have good songs.

1:13:57 Caller Yeah, and B-level at best.

1:14:00 Drew On lifestyle?

1:14:01 Caller Yeah.

1:14:02 Drew Yep, they seem to do better than you or I.

1:14:04 Adam He plays Dr. Dex Dexler in One Life to Live.

1:14:08 Exactly.

1:14:10 Adam He's been on the show three and a half weeks. He's just gotten married for the third time, and him and his wife are vacationing in Acapulco. Here they are going down a slide drinking a hollowed out coconut with rum in it. Yeah, they never had big stars on that. It was great. And what they do, I guess, is they just send you on this amazing vacation.

1:14:36 Drew Oh, is that right?

1:14:38 Adam Yeah, they send you to Fiji, and all you have to do is let them film you in your bathing suit for a couple of minutes by the pool and talk about how free it is when you're walking on the beach. How this is no place like there's no other place. There's usually a few wraps. There's no other place like this. It's a real feeling of freedom when you're sailing. So wait a minute. You're saying like if you were locked in a cinder block bunker, it would be different than being out on the open sea with the wind in your hair.

1:15:08 Drew Shocking.

1:15:10 Adam Which one's the feeling of freedom? I got confused now. How'd that go? Celebrities are great. We got to ask them about everything. Hey, what's it like to be in a tropical paradise in your bathing suits, swimming in crystal clear water? It's great. Fantastic. They really ought to just get idiots from the valley. They'd really get excited about it. And you know, it's great too. Celebrity women, turns out, like to be pampered. They go in for a nice sea salt rub. And they put some, they put the cucumber over their eyes and some guy works them over. I'm always trying to catch a little boob, you know, when they take the towel off and lie on their belly. Nicole.

1:15:51 Dr. Drew.

1:15:52 Caller Yes.

1:15:53 Corolla, good evening.

1:15:54 Drew Hey, what's up?

1:15:55 Thank you so much for letting us know about Vancouver and Washington's morning after pill being legalized. I was able to get all my girlfriends for Christmas.

1:16:04 Caller Wow.

1:16:05 Drew Congratulations. Great advice.

1:16:08 Have it by the bedstand.

1:16:09 Drew God bless you, Nicole.

1:16:11 Adam Yeah.

1:16:11 Drew Vancouver's got it too, huh?

1:16:13 Yes. It's legal in Vancouver, which makes it nice for people who live in Oregon, just to drive on up there and yeah.

1:16:20 Drew Wait a minute.

1:16:23 Adam We got to get a map.

1:16:23 Drew But explain that statement to me. Vancouver, Washington.

1:16:28 In Washington.

1:16:29 Drew I see. I think Vancouver is in Canada.

1:16:31 Adam Sorry.

1:16:31 No, not Vancouver, BC.

1:16:33 Adam Oh, there's a Vancouver, Washington.

1:16:34 Drew That must be near the Oregon border.

1:16:38 Adam Hold on. I swear to God, one day I'm coming in with a list and I'm going to straighten everyone out on this.

1:16:43 Drew Two city name.

1:16:43 Adam This two city name BS. I mean, when you're talking, if you go to LA and say you're from Vancouver, what do you got about it? 99 to 100 percent of people think you're from Canada.

1:16:53 Drew 100 percent.

1:16:54 Adam 100 percent. You're from Canada. You're from Vancouver, you're from Canada. And when we were in Northern Illinois and we told them we were going to Austin, they thought we were going to Austin, Minnesota, everybody. Now, Austin to me is Austin, Texas, and there's 500 examples of these things where there's two cities with the same name, and it makes no sense at all to me. It can do nothing but confuse people. When I'm in charge, I'm going to pick the biggest city, and the other one's going to be called Aceburg. Okay. So anyway, Nicole, now that we're past that confusion, you went and bought those the morning after pill for your friends.

1:17:37 I did.

1:17:40 Drew Did you get the Prevent package?

1:17:42 I believe it was. Yes, I'm not positive.

1:17:45 Drew It comes with a pregnancy test already in it and all that stuff.

1:17:49 It was a good size package, and I just wrapped it up and gave it to all of them.

1:17:53 Drew That's great.

1:17:54 Yeah. So I kind of have a morality question. I have...

1:18:01 Drew Good thing we have God here on hand tonight.

1:18:04 Adam Let me hit the thing. Yes, my child?

1:18:08 Well, Adam, you are God.

1:18:10 Adam Thank you.

1:18:10 It has to be that way. I dated a man for a year and am still very good friends with him as I am with most of my ex-boyfriends. I value the relationship and I don't feel it just because, you know, you... the romantic side of a best friendship falls apart doesn't mean that the best friendship needs to.

1:18:31 Drew That's something that Adam and I have never subscribed to.

1:18:34 Really?

1:18:35 Adam That's known in heaven as retarded logic.

1:18:38 That's awful. That's awful.

1:18:40 Drew You know what? I think that's...

1:18:41 Adam I don't blame you, my child. I do not spend as much time on the women's brain as I did on the male brain.

1:18:48 Drew I do think that's something that women...

1:18:49 Adam I focused on the ass.

1:18:51 Drew Oh, my God. I do think it's something that women do better than men, which is to sustain intimacies over time. Men get very sort of digital with that stuff. But go ahead. What's your question?

1:19:02 My question is that I have become good friends with his friends. And for the second time now, I have become very attracted to and wish to date a friend of his. And I'm concerned that I'm just creating drama.

1:19:15 Drew Do you create drama when you date these guys?

1:19:18 I have had that in the past, but it isn't my focus. I don't...

1:19:23 Drew What is... No, no. I mean, have you dated any of his friends before?

1:19:27 Yes.

1:19:27 Drew Why not? Did that create conflict?

1:19:30 For a short period of time, it did. And then we were able to work it out.

1:19:33 Drew How long after you had left him did that episode happen?

1:19:37 About four or five months.

1:19:38 Drew And how long has it been now since you've dated him?

1:19:40 Two years.

1:19:41 Drew I don't think it's a big problem. To me, if you are generally drawn to chaos, that's one thing. But to be attracted to people that are friends together, I mean, that makes sense to me that people of like personality structure and interests and things tend to congregate together. So it makes sense to be attracted to people from the same group.

1:20:01 Adam Nicole, this is God. I hope you have a hand basket handy, because you'll need it for your trip to hell.

1:20:11 Well, at least I'll be with friends and family.

1:20:13 Adam Oh, yes. More friends and more family members than you know. Remember your cat that died four years ago? In hell. Too much clawing on the furniture, you know, Drew.

1:20:26 Should I be concerned at all if either of the ex-boyfriends have still residual feelings at all?

1:20:32 Caller Yes.

1:20:33 Drew Either of the ex. I mean, the one you dated previously and then the first one, right? Correct. Yes, you should be concerned. I mean, you need sort of boundaries in every relationship, particular close relationships like this, especially since you say you value their friendships now that they're no longer boyfriends.

1:20:55 Caller Incredibly. Yeah.

1:20:56 Drew So you got to be very sensitive to this stuff. Men are a little bit overly preoccupied about their territory and they might have some feelings about this more than you would predict. All right.

1:21:07 Adam Let's wrap this up. I have to help Michael Jordan get another endorsement.

1:21:13 Drew OK.

1:21:14 Thank you very, very much.

1:21:15 Drew All right. Bye-bye.

1:21:16 Good night.

1:21:17 Adam See, that's how God works, Drew. I think that's my plan with him. He only recognizes a handful of guys. He spends all his time with them.

1:21:24 Drew Maybe that's how it works.

1:21:25 Adam Going to help Michael Jordan get another couple of mills in the bank.

1:21:28 Drew You're never one of those guys, so maybe that's the whole deal here.

1:21:30 Adam I'm feeling neglected and I'm lashing out. I just got a plan, though, I'll tell you that. Oh, let's get this morning af- And by the way, let's go ahead and spend, you know, all that time, Drew was just saying you sit, watch late night TV and everyone wants money for everyone and their kid. Why don't you just run a PSA for this morning after a pill? Can't we nip this in the bud? I don't understand it. We understand, by the way, like I've explained before, in every other- when it comes to any form of eradication or pest control, we understand it very well. Like, you know, when the fruit fly comes in or a host of other varmints that wreak havoc on the agricultural products of this, especially Southern California or California. What do you do? What do they do? Do they give everyone an extra large set of boots and send them out in the field to crush each one of them? No, they go right for the reproductive stuff. They take these sterile ones, they release them into the swarm and they sterilize the whole thing because they know the best way to stop this is to stop the growth. That's it. Stop the growth, everybody. It's real easy.

1:22:47 Caller Luke.

1:22:48 Adam Hi. You're 22.

1:22:50 Caller You guys rock, man.

1:22:51 Adam Thanks.

1:22:52 Caller Well, I have a small, well, I have a problem. I'm uncircumcised and my penis, when not erect, is about, only about three inches long.

1:23:02 Drew That's a small problem.

1:23:03 Caller Yeah.

1:23:04 Adam You're uncircumcised?

1:23:05 Caller I'm not circumcised. What happens, though, is when I get erect...

1:23:10 Adam Why does everyone got to screw with you on this show, so you got to think a little extra longer? You're uncircumcised?

1:23:16 Caller Yeah, I'm uncircumcised.

1:23:18 Adam I'm not circumcised. Now my brain's got to go... I got to process that. You know what I mean? I don't know. Now I'm confused.

1:23:26 Caller Yeah.

1:23:27 Caller Well, I'm not circumcised. When I get erect, I get to about, I guess, an average size would be about eight inches.

1:23:34 Adam No. No.

1:23:36 Caller So...

1:23:37 Adam No. You've been... You've been hanging out in the ghetto too long, Luke. That is not the average size.

1:23:44 Caller Well, I mean, that's...

1:23:45 Adam Please. I kill myself tonight.

1:23:48 Caller Well, that's about what I get. I mean, it's... You know, but the problem is...

1:23:52 Adam Wait a minute. You get eight inches?

1:23:53 Caller Well, see, when I'm not erect, it's only about three. And then when I get erect, it's about, I guess, eight.

1:24:00 Adam I mean... What do you mean, you guess eight?

1:24:02 Caller Well, I've never measured.

1:24:04 Adam All right. Well, if you never measure, why don't you just guess 14, then?

1:24:09 Drew What difference does it make when it's a flask? Why is that an issue?

1:24:12 Adam What do you need it for?

1:24:12 Caller The problem is, is that when I'm in a locker room or something, I mean, it's kind of have to wait till everybody gets dressed.

1:24:19 Caller Oh, Luke.

1:24:21 Adam Hold on a second. Let me talk to Drew for a second. Listen, I'm going to go ahead and translate. Luke... Luke's got the metric side of the yardstick turned up, and he's missing some key calculations. Three inches, y'all. That's three inches in between my fingers. your fingers are about three inches, approximately. And as everyone knows, if you put one of your fingers and you hung it off, you put a little girth on it, and you walked around a locker, that's fine. That's average. So three inches flaccid is absolutely acceptable, and you would not be embarrassed to walk around the locker room with three inches flaccid. So I'm going to go ahead and knock that down to about an inch and three-quarter, inch and a half. Eight inches seems a little big for a guy with an inch and three-quarter penis when it's flaccid, so I'm going to knock that down to about five and a half. Which he thinks is average, which is average, but he thought eight was average, and the reality is that about five and a half is average, so I'm going to make it five and a half. So I got an inch and three-quarters, maybe inch and seven-eighths, but weak, little weak inch and seven-eighths. Flaccid, and I got them about five and a half.

1:25:39 Drew Now that we've done the math, let's say go to break, and return.

1:25:43 Adam Why do we need to talk to him for?

1:25:46 Drew He didn't ask a question yet.

1:25:47 Adam He doesn't have a question.

1:25:49 Caller Luke?

1:25:50 Drew Luke?

1:25:51 Caller Yeah.

1:25:51 Drew Do you have a question?

1:25:52 Caller Yeah, well, I was thinking if I cut off a little bit of the, if I got circumcised, would that grow? Would it continue, would it grow?

1:26:00 Drew No. This is what I was going to get at with Luke, which is there's some some worth issues here, and that sort of thing going on, and nothing's going to grow. You're 22, that's going to, what you got is what you've got.

1:26:11 Caller Okay, Dr. Drew, one more question, though, too. When I pull back on the foreskin, it's attached to the head. Is that the way it's supposed to be?

1:26:17 Drew You mean it won't come out? It won't come out?

1:26:21 Caller When you pull back on the foreskin, the head starts pointing down because it's attached.

1:26:27 Adam Yeah, but can you get your head through it, like trying to poke your head through a turtleneck sweater? Yeah. All right, you're fine. You're fine. All right, Luke.

1:26:36 Drew A lot of feelings there about himself.

1:26:38 Adam Here's what I'd like you to do.

1:26:39 Drew A lot of stuff going on there.

1:26:40 Adam I'd like you to go back to your high school. I'd like you to find your health teacher. I'd like you to kick him in the nuts, because you didn't learn a goddamn thing from him.

1:26:50 Caller Well, no, see, you come from a Hispanic background, too.

1:26:53 Adam You don't get a... No kidding.

1:26:55 Caller You don't talk to parents about that.

1:26:57 Adam You better talk to somebody.

1:26:59 Drew You're very concerned about these things. And usually that translates into some issues of your own self worth more than your own anatomical.

1:27:05 Adam Don't freak the guy out. Listen, you're fine there, Luke.

1:27:09 Caller I know, but it's just, I mean, part of it is self worth.

1:27:11 Drew Yeah, that's the whole...

1:27:12 Adam I understand.

1:27:13 Drew You're a good guy, Luke. The penis is a symbol for that.

1:27:15 Adam Luke, your penis is fine. You're fine. Just, you know, investigate it a little more. Okay.

1:27:20 Caller All right, guys.

1:27:21 Adam All right.

1:27:22 Caller Thank you.

1:27:24 Adam Thinks the foreskin is a hindrance. You know, hey, Drew.

1:27:29 Drew Keeps it from growing.

1:27:30 Adam Let me ask you something. Yeah, if I shave my scalp off, you think I'd grow by another foot?

1:27:35 Drew Yeah, shave your head off. Yeah.

1:27:36 Adam Yeah, just take the skin part off the top of my head.

1:27:38 Drew Sure, that happens.

1:27:39 Adam I think it's kind of holding me back. As a matter of fact, I think my fingertips are holding my fingers. I think I should be able to palm a basketball, but I can't. But I'm convinced if I just went ahead and clipped the end of my fingers, I'd come out like a, I'd be looking like an alien. I'd be like a pterodactyl or something. I'd be able to pick up guys from their head.

1:27:58 Drew Yeah, okay. Scissor hands.

1:28:00 Caller All right.

1:28:01 Adam We'll be back.

1:28:05 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:28:14 Caller Oh, we are right there.

1:28:16 Caller It's Loveline. On WEDN.

1:28:26 Caller Hey, Loveline.

1:28:28 Adam And for all that's Dr. Drew over there. Bad religion is gonna be in here tomorrow.

1:28:35 Caller All right.

1:28:36 Adam Drew?

1:28:37 Caller Yeah.

1:28:37 Adam Who you got picked out there? Sam?

1:28:40 Caller Yeah.

1:28:40 Adam What's going on there?

1:28:41 Caller Oh, hi, guys. I read this article in The Economist and it recommended this book called Drug Crazy, which is a history of the U.S.'s attitude towards drugs, you know, with war and drugs, etc., etc.

1:28:53 Adam You don't have to explain. I'm sure most of our viewers and listeners read The Economist. I think I once did an informal survey. I think it was The Economist. It was The Economist and Christian Science Monitor and The National Review were the main publications.

1:29:10 Caller Because it's really a great magazine.

1:29:11 Adam Except that and High Times, I think, were amongst the top five. But anyway.

1:29:16 Caller Anyway, it's a really great book about just how crazy the drug war is, etc., etc. But I have one interesting point. It makes a lot of points that you guys have made in the past. But the one point it talks about is these British... It used to be in Britain that doctors were able to prescribe pretty much any drug they wanted, including heroin, etc., etc., etc.

1:29:35 Adam Brittany Reader, I think, being the fifth on the top five.

1:29:39 Caller But my question is basically, they point out that this was very effective in that only 5% of actual people who go through detoxification, etc., actually get off the addiction per year. Per year.

1:29:56 Drew That's right, per year.

1:29:57 Caller Yeah, and then they talk about how this was an effective way to have them be productive and actually live their lives.

1:30:04 Drew I would rather have-

1:30:05 Adam You're talking about heroin specifically?

1:30:07 Caller It was talking about heroin.

1:30:09 Adam I got a fart. Hold on.

1:30:10 Drew For Christ's sake.

1:30:11 Caller It was pretty much- They talk about methadone and saying how methadone, as Dr. Drew has said many occasions-

1:30:19 Drew It's worse.

1:30:19 Caller It's more trouble than it was.

1:30:21 Drew Yeah. I'd rather see doctors prescribing heroin. I think we ought to read- Personally, I think we ought to at least rethink the Harrison Act.

1:30:27 Caller Yeah.

1:30:28 Drew I mean, if we're going to get into discussions about legalization of marijuana and whatnot, I think we ought to take the whole thing on.

1:30:35 Caller Yeah.

1:30:35 Caller I mean, after reading this book, it's really amazing what the things that happened to cause this weird drug policy that the US has.

1:30:44 Caller Yeah.

1:30:44 Caller How much it, like, there would be a small problem that they tried to fix that would cause, and the solution would cause a much larger problem. So it's a very interesting book.

1:30:52 Adam Yeah. I agree with you. And I see my whole problem is making something... Is that smell, Drew? Yeah. That's good. Fred, you getting some of that?

1:31:04 Drew That's the smell.

1:31:07 Adam Speaking of things...

1:31:08 Drew Get in here...

1:31:08 Adam .things that should be made illegal.

1:31:10 Drew What is that impulse? First thing to do. Ann, come here.

1:31:12 Adam Oh, that was a good one. And not as good as what I've been doing. Here's the thing. Why? Just because something is legal does not mean we condone it. Do you know what I mean? I hate that that argument that everything that is legal means the president gets behind it 100% and the Americans get behind it 100%. There's many things in this country that we're not fond of that are legal that doesn't that we don't necessarily condone and you know prostitution drugs whatever alcohol the cigarettes you know it's all things that people aren't proud to do but their reality of life people are going to do them and here's my whole feeling with drugs in general if you want to destroy your life with heroin that's your decision but please let me keep my car stereo well I don't do heroin can I have my goddamn car stereo please that goes to the this one of the key issues and all this is that prohibition tends to do nothing except fuel a crime syndicate yeah and it said according to the book that one of the turning points in the drug war was when the the the government started hassling doctors because even the United States doctors were able to prescribe things like heroin etc etc at the time they thought it was was pretty innocuous like like cocaine they thought was not a big deal but then it was a very unprecedented thing when the US government started hassling doctors who tried to do this please the government hassles us on everything right the government spends way too much time hassling a certain segment of society and not enough time hassling it consistently makes people they need to hassle it consistently makes the good guys bad guys and that's the whole thing they've lost track of who who's okay and who isn't and now everybody's bad guy yeah they got so much energy into people into parking enforcement and second hand smoke they can't find deadbeat dads yeah right you know I mean I mean listen here is the bottom man I almost just use the f-word there but Sam yeah here is the bottom line if you want to stop the drugs you have to stop giving birth to people that want to do drugs those screwed up families screwed up people people who need to do drugs are going to do drugs yeah and that's the bottom line I mean that is just the God's honest when you really want to do drugs you're going to find drugs and do drugs even me who believes strong that there's a profound biological component to this even I believe that screwed up family is what really fuels the whole thing yes biology is containable given a psychologically healthy right individual or that's a little too pejorative but a stable person without a chaotic background you want to put an end to everything you want to put an end to domestic abuse you want to put an end to homicide you want to put an end to theft you want to put an end to bank fraud phone fraud you want to put an end to everything you want to put an end to love line the views expressed on love line are not necessarily those of the staff the management or the sponsors of this radio station you're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment love line is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel now please listen to this station longer

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Sunday, January 10, 1999