Episode 1000754887733

0:05 Voiceover Welcome to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

0:09 Voiceover Would you sleep with sick women?

0:11 Voiceover I may be pregnant, but I'm still a man.

0:13 Voiceover Spank the unruly ones.

0:15 Voiceover It's indecent, it's vulgar, it's blasphemous.

0:18 I'm gonna write you that you can't stand up.

0:20 Voiceover Come on, come on, let's go down.

0:22 Voiceover All right, all right, keep your shirt on.

0:24 Voiceover Loveline's meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Here's Loveline from Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla.

0:45 Around the last couple of weeks, she's like kind of going out with my best friend. And Saturday night, we were all together, and I was with this girl that I'm seeing. And we went to the liquor store and we were kind of drunk. We got out of the liquor store and she was like...

0:59 Adam Well, it seems really painful for you.

1:01 Huh?

1:02 Adam You all right, Greg?

1:03 Oh, yeah.

1:03 Adam Greg, you're on the radio show, right?

1:05 Yeah.

1:06 Drew It hurts to talk.

1:06 Adam Could you rally just a little bit?

1:09 Huh?

1:10 Adam All right, I'm gonna put them on hold for a little bit.

1:12 Drew Let him think about his presentation.

1:14 Adam Yeah, I don't want... I understand you guys are cool, but I don't want Christopher Walken calling in, you know, from his prison bed, you know, after just a good night of drinking and waking up in the drunk tank, you know. Just drop the dramatic effect and spit out the goddamn question. It drives me insane.

1:37 Drew I'm with you.

1:38 Adam You gotta have a cadence or I'm punishing you. Chris? Yeah. You're 20.

1:43 Caller Hey, how's it going?

1:44 Adam Good.

1:45 Caller I just want to say you guys have a great thing going here.

1:48 Adam Thank you.

1:49 Caller My question is, tonight me and my girlfriend went a little far, you know, we started having sex and, you know, we weren't wearing a condom and I didn't come inside of her, you know, I pulled out before it, but I was wondering, because I heard a myth and I don't know if it's true, that, you know, they can't get pregnant a certain number of days after a period.

2:08 Drew And that's BS.

2:10 Adam Well, there's something to that. It's just they don't know when it is.

2:13 Caller Yeah, because I can just say it's like three days ago.

2:16 Drew No, you gotta, she needs to take the prevent or Plan B, emergency contraception.

2:22 Adam She had her period three days ago.

2:23 Caller Yes.

2:24 Adam Okay.

2:24 Drew Yeah.

2:25 Adam Now, most women, the prime spot is about, what is it, about ten days after they end their period. Is that basically how the math works out to be somewhere in there?

2:36 Drew Somewhere in there.

2:37 Adam So two days is not a danger zone, although it varies from woman to woman.

2:41 Drew A lot.

2:42 Adam Although most women would be there, but this is not one of the situations where you can let 30% chance go.

2:50 Drew That's right.

2:50 Adam Because it's crucial.

2:51 Drew You can't let a 2% possibility occur.

2:53 Adam Right.

2:54 Drew So you want to, she ought to really get that emergency contraception. You have a three day window, take it, what the hell?

3:00 Adam Okay.

3:00 Drew You know, I mean, why have there be, want to take every precaution you can. There's really no downside of that.

3:06 Caller Yeah.

3:07 Drew All right.

3:07 Caller Okay. Thanks.

3:08 Adam All right. All right. Let's get back to our sluggish caller. Craig?

3:12 Yeah.

3:12 Adam You're 21?

3:13 Caller Yes, sir.

3:14 Adam Okay. Let's go now. Here we go.

3:16 Caller Okay. Well.

3:16 Drew So you had an ex and you were drinking with your friends and you each had dates and your ex was with a new friend of yours and what?

3:24 Caller Well, she started kissing on me and stuff when we were all in and what's your, what'd your new date do? Oh, well, she wasn't around. We had, we had gone.

3:32 Drew What, what are her new, oh, I see the two of you went to the liquor store.

3:34 Caller Yeah. So, you know, so then, you know, we're on our way back and she's saying how she messed up by breaking up with me and that she missed me in this mess.

3:43 Drew She misses chaos. Yeah.

3:45 Caller And I'm just, I'm just wondering if, you know, if she was just drunk and saying that or if she really meant it.

3:49 Drew Well, she was just drunk.

3:51 Caller Yeah, cause I meant it. Right?

3:52 Adam Yeah, but she, she meant it, but her meaning something doesn't mean anything. That's the catch 22.

3:58 Drew How old is she?

3:59 Caller She's 19 now.

4:01 Adam She's kind of, she likes chaos. She was with you. She screwed around on you. I'm sure you could tell us many chaotic stories involving her.

4:11 Caller Oh, not really, you know.

4:12 Drew It was a perfectly stable, happy, easygoing relationship.

4:16 Caller It was for two years, all the way up until the end.

4:19 Adam All the way up until the end, but didn't she screw around on you?

4:22 Caller Yeah, she did.

4:24 Adam Well, that's not something somebody who says stable and happy does.

4:28 Caller Well, yeah, no, but she was only like, you know, what, 14?

4:31 Adam Okay, well get back together with her, hurry.

4:34 Caller You think so?

4:35 Adam Well, listen, if you like her and she likes you and she's perfectly normal and perfectly adjusted, then go ahead.

4:42 Caller Well, so that's good.

4:43 Drew Let's put it this way, she likes Greg.

4:45 Adam Yeah. All right, have fun.

4:48 Caller Where the hell are we here?

4:50 Adam Oh, Drew Spager, everyone. Ryan?

4:52 Caller Yeah?

4:53 Adam You're 14. What is up?

4:56 Caller Okay, like my cousin, he like was sometimes on my aunt and they like, they go places, you know, my mom and my aunt and like I'm left home with him like, because I guess he kind of babysits me.

5:06 Adam Is this Ryan, the young girl?

5:09 Drew How old is this cousin?

5:11 Caller He's 17.

5:12 Drew Okay.

5:13 Caller And he like puts on like porn and all kinds of stuff like that. And he like masturbates and then he's like trying to like do stuff with me and he gets on me and stuff. And I'm just kind of like get away from me. What the hell are you doing?

5:23 Drew Do you tell your mother this?

5:25 Caller Um, no.

5:26 Drew Why not?

5:26 Caller That's the easiest person in the world to like tell. She'll probably like be like, oh, you're flirting with them. What are you doing here?

5:32 Drew Do you have any other relatives or adults that you could tell this story to?

5:36 Caller No.

5:36 Drew Do you understand that this is against the law, Ryan?

5:39 Caller What?

5:40 Drew What he's doing is very much against the law. Are you aware of this?

5:42 Adam It is.

5:43 Drew Sexual assault?

5:44 Adam Yeah, but he's babysitting. Isn't there some sort of privilege that goes along with that? No?

5:49 No.

5:51 That's kind of gross.

5:52 Drew It's gross, and it's a...

5:53 Caller Yeah, and he tells me, like, don't worry, we're not blood-related, so it won't mean anything.

5:58 Drew Yeah, but Ryan, it's serious. Thank God. Ryan actually sounds well-adjusted. It sounds like she's managing this amazingly awful situation easily.

6:06 Adam I mean, what does he try to do to you?

6:09 Caller He's like, okay, he'll be like, you know, I hope you're like coming everywhere too.

6:14 Drew He masturbates in front of her.

6:15 Adam He's coming everywhere.

6:17 Caller Then he's like, come here. And I'm just like, no. And I'm like trying to go in the other room. So he'll like chase after me, kind of like grab me and stuff like that.

6:23 Drew That's against the law, Ryan.

6:24 Adam So is it is...

6:24 Drew You know what you do next time it happens? You put you down 9-1-1. Seriously.

6:27 Adam When he's coming everywhere, is it like one of those three stooges pie fights where, you know, guy takes his head and pokes it around the corner of the door and, whap, no, then the fat old stuffy woman pokes her head up from underneath the table like she's laughing and pointing. Yeah, someone's got to laugh and point. Hey, here's what I've learned from TV. If there's a pie fight, a food fight or semen fight going on, never laugh and point because guess what? Coming my way. That's right. All right. So seriously, Ryan, he is masturbating in front of you. Why are you in the room? Why don't you go to your room and shut the door?

7:09 Caller I'll walk in to get some food because the kitchen's kind of connected.

7:12 Drew And I'll be like, 14.

7:13 Adam No, I understand. But listen.

7:15 Caller And I'll just be like, Oh, my God, I'm sorry. You know, like, go on. He's like, No, wait, come here. And I'm just like, No, it's OK. And I'll go away. And then he'll be like, No, come here.

7:22 Drew And I love Ryan. Ryan is great.

7:24 Adam Come on.

7:24 Drew Ryan is great. I got to get her.

7:26 Adam I got to I got to figure this out, though. And what about the part about the sperm flying everywhere, though?

7:33 Caller It's just that it's like coming out and it's getting on his pants and it's really gross. And I don't want to walk into the other room.

7:39 Adam Yeah. OK. And in terms of what is the most physical he's been with you?

7:45 Caller Like he gets on top of me without his pants on and he tries to unbuckle my pants. And I'm just like, Oh, my God.

7:50 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

7:52 Drew Usual customary cousin relationship.

7:54 Adam That's the way I broke in the kids when I babysat. Reevy, Ronnie and little Adam.

7:59 Caller But come and give me a hug.

8:01 Yeah.

8:04 Adam Right.

8:05 Yeah.

8:07 Adam All right. So here's the only thing I worry about. You sound pretty healthy and all that. I just worry that he could really force you.

8:14 Drew You could think I'm no, no, no, no.

8:16 Adam I worry about him sort of knowing it's OK with her in his own way.

8:21 Drew Yeah. Well, because she hasn't called the police yet and she hasn't told anybody.

8:24 Adam Yeah. Anything ever happened to you, Ryan?

8:27 Caller I don't know. I think maybe. But I think I was too young to remember.

8:30 Drew What do you think happened?

8:31 Caller I think like, like because my mom, she had me when she was kind of young and she like had like, you know, parties for me on my birthday and stuff. But then like after I'd follow up, like go to bed or something like it would be her and her friends partying and she's like a good mom. She's not like a drug addict or anything like that. But then like she had a lot of guy friends and I think maybe one of them like probably did something to me when I was like, you know, because I think something did happen.

8:53 Drew What makes you think that?

8:55 Caller Because I thought about like sex and stuff like that at like a kind of early age and I thought it was like I was like curious about it and stuff like that but I never did anything.

9:02 Adam No, no, no, but if there's something you...

9:06 Drew She ain't got that special feeling. She ain't got it.

9:09 Adam Okay.

9:09 Drew She ain't got it.

9:10 Adam All right, but the family's a mess and the cousin, the cousin, my only point is is the cousin thinks it's okay to do that in front of her. That's what I worry about.

9:21 Drew That's enough of the chaos. You know what I'm saying? That's the mom who's a-

9:25 Adam Ryan, Ryan, you have to tell your mom.

9:28 Drew Okay.

9:29 Adam And she has to act like a mom and she should be outraged by this behavior.

9:33 Drew That's why the cousin knows he can get away with it because she knows she's not going nowhere to go.

9:37 Adam Yeah.

9:37 Drew A whole mom, no dad. Okay.

9:39 Adam Okay.

9:39 Drew She's sitting target.

9:40 Adam Ryan, are you a virgin?

9:42 Drew Yes.

9:42 Adam Good. Okay. Tell your mom, tell her what he is doing and tell her that you're calling the cops next time.

9:49 Drew Next time. And I swear to God.

9:50 Adam Wait a minute. Forget about next time. He cannot babysit you anymore. So there will be no next time.

9:54 Drew That's right. And as God is my witness, Ryan, you must call for help if you don't get it from your family. Please.

10:00 Caller Next time my aunt and my mom go out, should I just be like, oh, can I go over to a friend's house?

10:04 Adam No.

10:05 Drew You just tell her what the deal is.

10:07 Adam You have nothing to hide.

10:09 Drew And you didn't do anything to bring this on. And if your mother blames you for this, that's when you call social services. Let me give you, I'll leave you a phone number just to, so you have some place to call should the unthinkable happen, that mom just dismissed this.

10:22 Adam Yeah, the unthinkable has about a 65% chance of happening.

10:25 Drew Child Help USA, 1-800-422-4453.

10:32 Okay.

10:33 Adam Joan, I mean, John.

10:36 John.

10:36 Adam John, yes. You're 15.

10:38 Caller Yeah, I am. I have this sort of fetish. When I go down on a girl, I like throw the nibble or like bite on her clit or clitoris as you like to call it. And I'm wondering, will that be a problem in the future? I've been down on four girls.

10:59 Adam No, that's just a healthy expression of love.

11:04 Caller Well, does it have to do like when I was seven to 10, I was abused as a child and my dad like left me. So does that have anything to do with it?

11:16 Adam Nope.

11:16 Caller It doesn't?

11:17 Adam Nope.

11:17 Caller My second question, my right nut is slightly lower than my left nut is.

11:22 Drew I tire.

11:22 Adam Oh, come on. Come on, Drew. Go ahead, John. What's wrong with your nuts?

11:28 Caller My right nut is like slightly lower than my left.

11:31 Drew There's like three other people in the line, by the way.

11:33 Adam That's all right. Yeah, that's healthy.

11:36 Caller Yes. Okay, thank you.

11:38 Adam That's it?

11:39 Caller Yeah, that's it.

11:39 Adam Okay.

11:40 Caller Good thing.

11:41 Adam All right.

11:41 Drew More limo. That was pathetic. Come on.

11:45 Adam I've gone down on four girls. Drew, not you. This is caller Drew, 17.

11:52 Caller Yeah.

11:53 Adam Yeah.

11:54 Caller Hey guys, what's up?

11:55 Adam Hey.

11:57 Caller I was wondering, my mom was diagnosed with multiple personalities. They said she had at least six. They couldn't find anymore, but they weren't sure. And I was wondering if it was like hereditary at all.

12:08 Drew No. Why was that? What's going on with you?

12:11 Caller One of my ex-girlfriends and my best friend had told me before that I acted kind of weird and that they thought I might have multiple personalities.

12:19 Drew I know no evidence suggests that is hereditary, but certainly being raised in an environment where mom had no consistent available connection for you as a set, you know, when they get any presence, that can have a lot of impact on your development.

12:33 Adam He had six moms. Right. Are you crazy?

12:35 Caller No. They're more like friends.

12:37 Drew Yeah. So no real mom, no real connection. And so intimacy and things like that can be very difficult for you. It's going to be hard for you to control and regulate feelings, I bet. To get out of control with your feelings sometimes.

12:48 Yeah.

12:50 Drew And so it's all about that. And if you can get stable relationships with friends who are really available, of course, you're going to pick a lot of chaotic and unavailable people. But if you can get some people who are around for you and you can take the time to make a real connection, you might be able to establish enough growth to deal with this and learn that through your relationships and through growing in those relationships, you can develop internal mechanisms to help you regulate these overwhelming feelings.

13:16 Caller All right. All right.

13:17 Adam All right. You'll be fine, Drew.

13:19 Caller Okay.

13:19 Adam You're 17.

13:21 Drew You never say that to me.

13:23 Adam Caller Drew, you'll be fine. You're young. You're asking all the right questions. You understand what's going on. I can just tell by your voice.

13:31 Drew Thanks.

13:32 Adam You have no worries.

13:33 Drew Yep.

13:33 Adam Okay.

13:34 Drew Okay, Your Royal Highness. Yes.

13:36 Adam I declare you sane and safe passage as well.

13:40 Drew Godspeed.

13:41 Adam Through the kingdom. Godspeed. All right. Where the hell is... What did I do?

13:48 Caller There we go.

13:49 Adam Mike?

13:50 Yes.

13:50 Adam You're 31.

13:51 Caller Yes. What's going on? Well, first of all, I like your show. I think it's really great. I find it very interesting.

13:57 Adam Thanks.

13:58 Caller Yeah, I listen to it a lot whenever I can. But anyway, my problem is I'm having so much trouble just getting a date. Four or five years ago, I was getting tons of dates. I used to work at Disneyland and I would meet girls all the time until I got fired for sexual harassment, which is another story. Then I got hired at the Olive Garden and I worked there for about a year.

14:21 Drew I guess got fired for sexual harassment.

14:23 Caller I got fired for sexual harassment.

14:25 Drew Oh, I'm shocked. That's another story. That's those bitches again.

14:30 Adam What were you doing with those breadsticks, Mike?

14:34 Caller Oh, anything and everything.

14:36 Adam My cousin Tony, he loves Italian food.

14:40 Caller Yeah.

14:40 Adam I've never eaten at the Olive Garden. I've just heard horrendous things about it.

14:45 Caller Oh, you have? What have you heard?

14:47 Drew Anyway, just think.

14:49 Adam Lots of food, just not lots of yummy. That's all I've heard.

14:53 Caller Oh, I know. And then I went to Tony Roma's and had proms.

14:57 Adam Sexual harassment?

14:59 Caller But I didn't get fired. I was still getting dates, but not as many. I've had fire relationships.

15:06 Drew What's your question?

15:07 Adam Well, wait a minute. I want to know where else he's gotten fired from for sexual harassment.

15:12 Caller I got fired at Lucky for it.

15:14 Adam Sexual harassment at Lucky's? Hey, if you came proposition at a gal at a place called Lucky's, where can you? You know what I'm saying?

15:23 Caller Yeah. Well, if I were still working at Disneyland, I'd be getting dates, but I'm not. I'm not working at Disneyland.

15:28 Drew Yeah, because they're under 14. They don't really acknowledge what's actually happened.

15:32 Adam Let Lucky's. Let me tell you. I always shopped at the Lucky's growing up because we're poor. I want to kill myself every time I walked into that Lucky's. You go into Lucky's, you want a banana? That you can eat today? It don't exist. You actually have to fill out an order form for a banana and within three to six weeks, one will be shipped to your house that you could potentially eat within that month. I want to kill myself whenever I go to one of those places.

16:03 Drew But Mike, so this pattern here, you have a problem with women, obviously.

16:09 Adam Come on, Drew. He's only had five jobs and five potential sexual harassment.

16:13 Drew Do you think that most people have sexual harassment accusations levied at them?

16:18 Caller No, not most people. No. I mean, I've also had five relationships, one in 1994, one in 1995, one in 1996, and two in 1997. Well, five people broke up with me.

16:32 Drew Yeah, there's something wrong, Mike. There's something wrong with the way you treat women. Something very...

16:37 Adam Mike?

16:38 Caller Yes?

16:40 Adam We can hear in your voice that there's something up with you.

16:45 Drew Women sense that too.

16:46 Adam Chicks are catching on to this.

16:48 Caller Well, I would sure like to know what it is. I mean, I'm a very nice guy.

16:51 Drew You don't treat women nice.

16:53 Adam How did you get all the sexual harassment cases if you were such a nice guy?

16:59 Caller Okay, well, the one at Disneyland complained that I was calling her too much. Now I know better than to call someone.

17:05 Adam Okay, and now what about the one over at the Olive Garden?

17:10 Caller Well, actually, she complained that I was looking at her breasts.

17:14 Adam Okay, and what about Luckies?

17:17 Caller She complained that I was always hitting on her.

17:20 Adam Nice rack.

17:21 Caller Fourteen-year-old, actually.

17:23 Adam And now what was the next place?

17:25 Drew Olive Garden?

17:26 Adam I think we got to the Olive Garden.

17:28 Caller For Luckies. I was fired at Luckies in 1997. Now, I do accounting for them.

17:33 Adam Tony Romas, I think he got canned for. What happened to Tony Romas?

17:36 Caller Oh, I didn't get canned there, but I was just having complaints being levied against them.

17:40 Adam Okay, well.

17:41 Caller For doing what?

17:42 Caller For talking to them too much.

17:44 Drew Do you see how non-attuned you are to women? It's like you have no sense that they exist as a person. Hold on. They're just these things you sort of...

17:55 Adam I can't tell if Mike is kidding or not, because it's so blatant and bizarre. Hey, Mike.

18:02 Caller Yes?

18:02 Adam Are you on any medications?

18:04 Caller No.

18:04 Adam No? Has anyone ever asked you to consider going on any medications? No. But you understand that the life that you're leading is sort of directly attributable to your actions. I mean, you're not just getting fired from job after job or turned out... By coincidence... .for date after date by coincidence. There's obviously something you're doing that's bringing that on yourself, right?

18:32 Caller Yes. Well, I'm not getting fired anymore.

18:34 Adam Oh, OK. But...

18:35 Caller I work a real job now. I do accounting.

18:37 Drew OK. You're defending it already. Mike, you're not even taking responsibility for what you've done.

18:41 Adam You have some serious issues here, brother, and people are just responding to them. That's all.

18:47 Caller OK.

18:47 Adam Do you think this is a coincidence?

18:50 Caller No, no, no.

18:50 Adam OK, so let's let's establish, you sound like a nice enough guy, a little crazy, but let's establish that whatever it is you were doing wasn't working. It was offending women. It was scaring women.

19:03 Caller Right.

19:03 Adam So let's work on doing something differently than what you were doing before.

19:08 Caller OK.

19:09 Adam And I think part of it could be toning it down a little bit, maybe not being so aggressive.

19:15 Drew To who these people are and what they want, what they're feeling. They're people, right? Women, people?

19:22 Caller Yeah.

19:22 Drew OK, with lots of feelings and those feelings need to be acknowledged.

19:26 Adam Lots of feelings. I got more feelings.

19:28 Drew More than Mike, certainly.

19:29 Caller Yes.

19:30 Drew And they need to be attended to. And that's what you sort of tune in to when you're interacting with somebody. Right. That doesn't create.

19:37 Caller Girls give me the cold shoulder now.

19:40 Adam What's that?

19:40 Caller Nine out of every ten girls I try talking to.

19:43 Adam Good. I'd like to talk to the one that did give you the time of day. I'd have her committed immediately. I mean, Jesus, Mike, you're a piece of work. You got to get some therapy. You got to work on yourself a little bit. You're not ready to date right now. You got some issues.

19:58 Caller The health club, that's training me at the health club, and I pay him $200 to go out with him for him to teach me how to get girls. But so far, the gains I've made from that have been de-minimized.

20:09 Adam Mike, this is insanity. Half of what Mike is saying is true. That is just...

20:14 Drew It's like wild.

20:17 Adam I don't know. Most of the callers I suss out pretty good. Mike, I can't get a handle on. I don't know if he's BSing us.

20:24 Drew No, I think it's right.

20:25 Adam Or he's kind of BSing himself.

20:27 Drew He is just living in his own little world.

20:30 Adam Wow, I gotta get me one of them worlds. I mean, I'm in my own big world, but I like to get a little world. I like to live in my own world like Mike. You never know what's going on. People just fire you from job after job. You don't quite feel it. You know what I mean? You're like a dog. You know, when you step on the dog's tail, the dog doesn't know whether you're walking down to get a glass of water or whether you're punishing the dog. All he knows is like, hey, I got my tail stepped on. But that's okay because you rub his head and he's happy again. I want that kind of life. What do you mean? I think Mike's twice as happy as we are put together.

21:09 Drew The outcome isn't quite there. If the outcome were there, he would be.

21:13 Adam I think this guy should be paying Mike 200 bucks to teach him how to live. Mike has to get some therapy.

21:18 Drew You know, he should be in a group session as we can see how people, how humans react.

21:23 Adam Mike, therapy.

21:24 Drew It's like he's been raised in a, like in a...

21:25 Adam By hyenas.

21:26 Drew Yeah.

21:27 Adam Who felt each other up. All right, we're going to take a break. We'll be back.

21:32 Caller The National Football League and MBNA annually recognize teachers who have had a lasting and profound impact on their students. So profound that years later, NFL players remember the teachers who have influenced their life, making them a success both on and off the field. The NFL and MBNA congratulate those who educate the leaders of tomorrow. The NFL and MBNA, recognizing excellence among America's teachers. This message furnished by the National Football League.

22:02 Loveline, be right back in a minute.

22:15 Caller We're not keeping you up, are we?

22:17 I'm pitching a tent.

22:18 Caller Oh, that's good. It's Loveline.

22:32 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam. That is Dr. Drew over there. Let's go back to the phones. Jen?

22:41 Caller Hi, how are you?

22:42 Adam Good, you're 15.

22:44 Caller No, I'm 19 actually.

22:46 Drew All right, go ahead.

22:47 Caller All right.

22:49 Caller How you guys doing?

22:50 Drew All right.

22:50 Adam We're all right.

22:51 Caller Glad to hear it. Okay, my question is, I've been sexually active since I was 18, almost 19. And ever since then, even if I'm not like aroused or looking at a good looking guy or whatever, sometimes, I guess the best way to put it is I get wet, but there's no particular reason. Is that normal?

23:21 Drew It can be, and that was not what happened before you became sexually active?

23:24 Caller No, it never happened before.

23:26 Drew Did you go on the pill or something? No. No change in medication or anything like that?

23:31 Caller Not at all. I just spoke over my boyfriend recently, which is the only person I've been sexually active with.

23:39 Adam Well, maybe he knocked something loose.

23:42 Caller You think so?

23:43 Adam The Lord knows he tried.

23:46 Caller Yeah, he tried. He didn't have a good job doing it, but you know.

23:50 Drew He's in the right ranch.

23:52 Adam He brought metric in your standard?

23:55 Caller What?

23:55 Caller All right.

23:58 Adam So now all of a sudden, you're moist all the time as if you're sexually aroused.

24:04 Drew But you're not.

24:05 Adam Although you're not sexually aroused.

24:07 Caller No, I'm not.

24:08 Adam But then what if you became sexually aroused? Would it be that much more moist?

24:13 Caller No, actually, when I'm actually intimate with a guy, I don't get wet. But I can just be sitting on the couch watching TV. And all of a sudden, I feel wet. And it's like, why?

24:27 Drew Interesting.

24:27 Caller Any ideas?

24:28 Adam No. That is interesting. But so we're not going to associate this wetness with any kind of sexuality or arousal, right?

24:38 Drew It's a clear discharge?

24:40 Caller Yeah.

24:40 Drew And you have no other symptoms?

24:42 Caller Nope.

24:43 Adam Hmm. And it never happened before you became sexually active?

24:47 Caller No.

24:48 Adam And furthermore, when you are excited by a man, there's not as much moisture?

24:56 Caller Not as much, no.

24:58 Adam Wow. What is up with that, Drew?

25:01 Drew I don't know. It's interesting.

25:02 Adam What should she do?

25:03 Drew Have you had a pelvic exam?

25:05 No.

25:06 Drew Okay. Well, you need to do that anyway, right? When you're sexually active, very important, women, young women get cervical cancer. You got to screen for that, okay? Okay. And let them see it. Maybe there's an infection or something you're not aware of that is contributing to this in some way. I don't know. It does not sound like anything worrisome particularly.

25:23 Adam What night is it, Drew? Is it Tuesday?

25:26 Drew Tuesday.

25:27 Adam Yeah. Man show's on?

25:29 Drew Tomorrow.

25:30 Adam Yeah, but it's tonight.

25:32 Drew Oh, in some part of the United States.

25:33 Adam If you delay the show by day. I just wanted to remind all the kitties. Where the hell are we here? Joe?

25:40 Yeah?

25:41 Adam You're 17.

25:42 Caller Yeah.

25:42 Adam What's going on?

25:44 Caller I don't know. I always find my way in being a girl's best friend instead of being the girl I want to get with. Yeah. I've always been your best friend instead of trying to get with.

25:56 Drew Commonly referred to as the Corolla Syndrome.

25:59 Adam Please. Yeah.

26:01 Drew Especially people who engage in these behaviors are particularly prone to home repairs and fixing the cars and detailing the cars of the women they're interested in.

26:12 Adam Yeah. I've done a lot of detailing of women's cars for free. You know what's funny? When you become... Let's see. I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this. You sort of are what you think you are. And then later on in life, I mean, I was always, you know, really shy and I was a mess and, you know, I couldn't make a move on a chick and years would go by. I mean, I just shattered shell of a man. No confidence, no ability, no nothing. And then later on in life, at some point, I don't know how, but I figured it out. And I just became a different person. Right. And it didn't really even cross my mind.

26:55 Drew Imagine if you didn't. Imagine what that'd be like.

26:57 Adam Just going through my whole life that way. Oh, I kill my, I would have killed myself. Oh, but I just mean like I'd meet some girl and I'd just be, hey, what's going on? Hey, what are you doing? Let's go out. You know, I mean, like she'd say no, but I had that momentum. I mean, I figured it out. I just became like a different, different person didn't really cross my mind. Well, it wasn't going to work out.

27:20 Drew Right. Well, I'm sure it must have crossed your mind. It's really actually worked out.

27:26 Adam That could be. Yeah.

27:28 Drew You think I would have learned, but you become a person.

27:31 Adam It became a person. You're there.

27:32 Drew You're available. You're present.

27:33 Adam But what I mean is, is you become the kind of person that asks people out and they go out with you, or you kiss somebody and they kiss you back or whatever it is, and you just lead your life that way. And magically, other people sort of treat you that way too. It's sort of, it's no different than business or any other endeavors. You sort of act like you belong, act like you're one of these people. I don't mean act like it, but I mean think it. Feel it.

27:58 Drew Feel it.

27:59 Adam And then guess what? You just do it. And everyone seems to go along with you. I don't know how you get to that point from where Joe's at, but I can tell you.

28:10 Drew Well, women don't like somebody who's not present. What do you say? If it's not a person present, they don't feel good.

28:17 Adam Yeah, but this doesn't have to do with that as much as it just has to do with sort of low self-esteem on Joe's behalf.

28:23 Drew Being not present.

28:25 Adam No. I don't attribute this to lack of presence. It's just Joe's shaken. Joe has no confidence. Joe just looks at himself as a loser.

28:36 Drew He has to stop. He has to also make a conceptual paradigm shift where it's he's no longer trying to meet somebody so he'll be their friend and get an inroad that way.

28:44 Adam Right.

28:44 Drew Got to stop that. You got to start asking people out.

28:46 Adam You just ask people out. This is one of those sort of pull yourself by your own boots, perhaps do things.

28:51 Drew Yeah.

28:52 Adam Just go out and start asking people out and don't start getting into other forms of conversations with them involving detailing cars. Adam.

29:01 Yeah.

29:02 Adam You're 15.

29:03 Caller Yes, I am.

29:03 Adam What's going on?

29:05 Caller I have ADHD and I'm thinking about smoking marijuana and I was wondering if there are any effects to it at all.

29:16 Drew Yeah. Well, what else do you want for your ADHD?

29:19 Caller Yeah.

29:20 Caller What?

29:20 Drew What are you taking for your ADHD?

29:22 Caller Dexadrine.

29:23 Drew Dexadrine.

29:24 Caller Yeah.

29:24 Drew Yeah. It can have effects. It can throw off the medication you're taking, it can cause panic and depression. There's all kinds of stuff that you can do. You've got kind of a delicate chemistry. Plus, if you have a family history of alcoholism, in my experience, individuals with ADD who have a mom or dad or alcoholic are themselves prone to addiction profoundly.

29:44 Caller Well, no one in my family has been an alcoholic ever.

29:46 Caller Okay.

29:48 Adam All right. So smoke out, brother.

29:50 Drew I'll do it.

29:51 Caller I just want to say I listen to your show every night.

29:54 Caller You know, first time caller, long time listener.

29:57 Adam Thanks.

29:57 Caller And Adam, I love your show, The Man Show. I watch it every time.

30:01 Caller I can go watch it tomorrow.

30:02 Adam God bless you, Adam.

30:03 Caller Awesome show.

30:04 Adam It's better when you're stoned.

30:06 Caller Yeah.

30:06 Adam No, listen, Adam, seriously. Here's my take. You're 15. Don't monkey with the pot until a little bit later in life.

30:15 Drew That is my point.

30:16 Adam You're already on one medication. You already have, I mean, here's what I'm saying to you, Adam. You have a little bit of a disability with this ADHD. Not that big a disability. It's not like you're missing your legs or anything, but you got a little something going on. So you take some medication to correct it. Don't monkey anymore with the mind.

30:38 Drew And in 15 and under, we know there's a lot of changes that can occur from marijuana. Not single exposure, but repeated exposure can do some stuff. There's actually an atomic change.

30:47 Adam Look at it this way. You may smoke some pot. You may love it. You may have some momentum with it. And then you're screwed. Yeah. And you already have, you already got your work cut out for you. So don't smoke the pot. Give it a few years. Would you?

31:00 Caller All right.

31:01 Adam It's not that big a deal.

31:02 Caller All right. Thanks.

31:03 Adam All right. That was pretty convincing, right?

31:07 Drew Yeah, for you.

31:10 Adam Yeah, I haven't smoked pot in like three days.

31:12 Drew Oh my God.

31:12 Adam Yeah. Dennis.

31:14 Drew Of course, I've been taking a viking.

31:14 How are you doing?

31:16 Adam I was, oh, wait a minute, my hand, yeah, same day. Dennis.

31:20 How are you all doing?

31:21 Adam Good. You're 20.

31:22 Yeah, I wanted to let Dr. Drew know that his website is cool.

31:26 Drew Well, thanks. Not up yet, but it will be late September and really full force in first week of October. Thank you.

31:34 Adam How come it's cool if it's not up?

31:35 Drew Well, we have a newsletter and we have some interaction stuff.

31:38 Adam Oh, okay.

31:39 It's a test site. Anyways, I wanted to ask Dr. Drew and you two, Adam, a question. Sure. Basically, I'm 20 and I drink a lot. Basically, when I get home, I might have a six or 12 pack of beer when I get off work. It's been happening ever since I was about 19, I've been drinking.

31:58 Adam Right. Now, you're the ripe old age of 20, so this has been an on-going problem for what's been eight months? So it's getting out of hand. Yeah. So you're drinking like three cases of beer a week or something, right?

32:15 Caller Basically, yeah.

32:17 Adam All right. Why don't you slow down a little bit?

32:23 Caller Well, the problem isn't really with trying to slow down, it's getting myself to not drink because once I start, then I just keep going.

32:31 Right.

32:33 Adam All right.

32:33 Drew What's your question for us?

32:35 Caller Well, the question is, what can I do about that?

32:37 Drew I mean, you can stop.

32:39 Caller Just stop?

32:40 Drew Well, you're not likely to stop. This is the sounds like alcoholism and in fact, alcohol dependency. And in that situation, there is a profound drive present that even if you're able to control it and sort of stay away from alcohol long enough for those drives to settle down, there's still going to be a push to use alcohol. It's going to be something you're going to think about, you're going to respond to based on cues you see in your environment.

33:04 Adam Well, what's the difference between alcohol dependency and alcoholism?

33:09 Drew Well, alcoholism is the spectrum of disease for people who have a special reaction to alcohol. And if they expose themselves to it long enough, get develop a drive to use due to conditioning of the reward systems in the brain. If they use long enough, then they'll start to have withdrawal if they try to stop. And that's dependency. Right. So I'm saying you may actually have a medical problem when he tries to stop also. So it's unlikely you're going to stop without some sort of intervention. So why don't you give a call to AA or check the AA site out on the web, Alcoholics Anonymous, and see if you can't maybe connect with that. That's how people stop.

33:42 Adam What about as far as the dependency cutting down to like three beers a night?

33:46 Drew Yeah, he will. He could do that for a while, but it won't last.

33:49 Adam But then you could go cold turkey and not have the withdrawal.

33:52 Drew That is true. But he was already saying once he starts, he can't stop.

33:55 Adam OK.

33:56 Drew That's a can. You have to understand about alcoholism. It's not a weakness. It's a very powerful drive that overwhelms normal thought processes and willpower. It comes from a very deep center of the brain. Tell me about it. Yeah, you know what it is.

34:09 Adam I had a glass of white wine in my hand last night because my can was too big to open the bottle of the red wine.

34:15 Drew Oh, I'm so sorry.

34:16 Adam Yeah, I had to drink the white wine.

34:18 Drew So you drink it three times as much just to...

34:20 Adam I just chugged it right out of the bottle.

34:22 Drew A bottle or one of those boxes?

34:26 Adam I took a stiletto, carved a hole right in the sides of one of those tote boxes.

34:30 Drew That's good.

34:31 Adam You know, they show those commercials where they bring that box of wine to the party and a bunch of good looking people, that real nice sort of Cape Cod type house, maybe something at the Hamptons and the women are wearing $2,000 designer dresses. If you show up at one of those parties with a box of wine, you get your ass kicked right back out on the lawn, a box of wine. And everyone's happy too. Hey, look at that. Hey, Larry brought a box of wine. Let's open that box of wine. That box of wine, that's like for the park, right?

35:05 Drew Yeah.

35:05 Adam That's not for the parties they're showing.

35:07 Drew No, it's for the guys on the batch, the park.

35:12 Adam I got a stackable two gallons of wine right here, everybody. All I got to do is take a sharp popsicle stick, poke it through the top of another hole so it can breathe. And I just suck right off this baby. All right. Where are we going when we come back, Drew? Carl. Carl. Carl is 18. His girlfriend just went on the pill. Now she can't get around. He wants to know why. We'll tell him why after this.

35:38 Caller Phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

35:51 Caller Man turns animal for the erotic pleasures of women.

35:55 Caller It's love life.

36:11 Adam Hey, there. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew just brought up that we're doing a movie.

36:21 Drew Yeah, isn't that amazing?

36:22 Adam Well, we just have a small part in a movie. We play ourselves. Right?

36:27 Drew I think. I haven't really heard the details yet. I heard it was Brooke Shields. Is that what I heard?

36:31 Adam It's... It's...

36:34 Drew What's that?

36:36 Adam Blue Lagoon 3, Back to the Hole, I think it's called.

36:41 Drew Back to the Future.

36:42 Adam Yeah, we're going back to the Lagoon and you and I, we play... We're on a cruise ship and, you know, the thing sank and we wash ashore.

36:51 Drew That's nice.

36:52 Adam And we're going to help Brooke and... What the hell is it? Christopher Atkins sinks. Good thing, Anne just closed her eyes, saw the poster up over the tub she put when she was 13 and went, yes, Chris Atkins. Yeah, he was hot wearing that loincloth. Remember that blue lagoon? That was a good movie. I don't know. I was a kid when that movie came out. It made sense, but it was kind of weird. It's like, hey, this 14 year old chick gets washed up with this 15 year old guy and they like start getting it on, you know, and they have a baby. And I don't know if they were related or I thought they were, you know, cousins or something. But the point is, is, you know, the big draw of the movie is, is, hey, we get to see Brooke Shields with a palm leaf in front of her tits. And this is going to be great. How did that sell go? I don't remember how they pitched that to our folks. I guess they talked about the money. But anyway, Brooke is doing a movie, I guess, and it's high time, and we'll be in it playing ourselves. Except for the dialogue will sound nothing like us.

37:59 Drew Probably not.

38:00 Adam We'll have to get hold of that dialogue, right, Drew? Make some changes?

38:04 Yeah.

38:05 Adam That's right.

38:06 Drew And that's always a pleasant experience.

38:08 Adam I don't want to sound like a prima donna, but as we all know, I am a genius. And I have not, in my five years in this business, have never had anyone hand me anything that didn't suck. And I've worked for talented people, other than people I've put together for projects. But I mean, they're-

38:27 Drew Right, because then they're sort of washed with your brilliance.

38:30 Adam That's right.

38:30 Drew I'm washed with the genius of a carolla.

38:32 Adam I prefer to think of it as a baptism.

38:34 Drew Yes, yes, of course.

38:35 Adam But no, people you like, people you want to work with, people you know are talented. But when you just go to some place to do something and someone hands you something, it's always bad. What is that, Drew? How does that work? You think it's bad luck or people that bad or how's it go? All right. Well, we'll make some alterations so we don't disappoint our fans, right, Drew?

38:57 Sure.

38:58 Adam Carl.

38:59 Yeah.

38:59 Adam You're 18.

39:01 Caller Yeah. My girlfriend and I have been together for about nine months. We've been sleeping together for eight and we're using condoms for probably the first six months or so and everything was fine. You know, she had no problem getting aroused. She was wet. Everything was open. It wasn't a problem. She started.

39:23 Adam Everything was open. Well, I mean, for business or do you mean physically open?

39:27 Caller The vagina. When she gets aroused, it opens up.

39:32 Adam It does.

39:33 Caller Right.

39:35 Caller Feed me.

39:39 Caller So what happened here?

39:40 Adam It was good use of the reverb, but.

39:45 Caller She started the pill here about a year or so.

39:51 Adam Drew's cracking up. Whenever Drew cracks up, I crack up. All right. I'm sorry. All right. OK.

39:59 Caller OK. So she started the pill maybe two months ago. And since then, I mean, there's been trouble getting her wet. And it's never been a problem before. I mean, before, you know, we kiss and it's just everything is going and there's just no stopping it. And I mean, we've gotten to the point where we use lubrication and it doesn't seem to help.

40:19 Drew What pill did you go on?

40:22 Caller I'm not sure. It's a pill. It's got like a bunch of white ones, then maybe a couple of yellow ones and a couple of pink ones in it.

40:29 Drew It's like a triphasic pill, probably. Yeah, it could be.

40:32 Adam Oh, it's got three colors.

40:33 Drew Yeah, triphasic.

40:36 Adam Well, I know try means three, but that just means try three phases. It doesn't necessarily mean three different pills. Why? What are the other two? What are the yellow ones?

40:45 Drew It's just different combinations of estrogen and progesterone. It's supposed to more normally mimic what your body cycles would otherwise do.

40:53 Adam Oh, Drew, I'm going to kill whoever paged you. Who paged you?

40:56 Drew I don't know.

40:57 Adam Okay, don't call them back. Now, what I'm saying is those three or four of the pills are the sugar pills?

41:05 Drew Yeah, for the 28 day pack, but there are, again, there's three different sort of cycles in the triphasic.

41:10 Adam Well, why are they going to make the other pills, though? Why the third color? You're just taking the pill anyway.

41:15 Drew So, you know, you keep track of, well.

41:18 Adam You're just taking them, aren't you?

41:19 Drew Yeah.

41:20 Adam All right, then.

41:21 Drew Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

41:21 Adam Go easy with the colors. We need those colors.

41:24 Drew But those usually, actually, more often than not, actually increase one's arousal and one's sexual argument.

41:29 Adam So, what should she do?

41:30 Drew In her case, it's shutting things down for some reason. I would definitely, she shouldn't have to tolerate that side effect just for contraception. So, she needs to talk to her doctor again. There should be pills out there.

41:39 Adam And they'll switch.

41:40 Drew Yeah, easily.

41:41 Adam So, it's not necessarily the pill, it's your pill.

41:43 Drew That pill, right.

41:44 Adam Angel.

41:46 Um, hey.

41:47 Adam Hey, you're 15.

41:48 Caller Yeah.

41:48 Adam What's going on?

41:49 Caller I have a problem with seducing.

41:51 Adam Yeah.

41:52 Caller Like, I seduce people, but I mean, at that moment, it feels like right. But then I don't think about it, you know?

42:01 Drew You're not feeling anything, you just sort of detach from the experience.

42:04 Caller Well, I do feel, I like feel and control.

42:08 Drew Right, you're powered.

42:09 Caller Yeah.

42:09 Adam Yeah. Are you good looking?

42:13 Caller Yeah.

42:13 Adam Yeah. Well, so it's easy to do.

42:16 Drew Why do you need that power?

42:18 Caller I don't know. That's the problem. I feel like I go too far. I can go too far.

42:25 Drew What does that mean?

42:26 Caller Like, I think, well, I don't know. I just feel like if I, I mean, I can, okay, my best friend, I do it all the time to him. And of course, you know, we're like best friends. So he like tells me when, you know, that I'm arousing him and stuff like that.

42:44 Adam But what are you doing to him that's arousing him?

42:49 Caller Talking to him nasty and touching his like, touching his like arms and stuff, you know.

42:58 Adam Yeah. And the problem is, why, why do you, how do you segue into the nasty talk? You just sort of get into it?

43:08 Caller Yeah.

43:09 Adam And he, he doesn't really know it's coming, it just starts, right?

43:14 Caller Well, we're like, okay, we're, of course, we're teenagers, you know, and teenagers are curious and stuff. And basically the main like subject is sex all the time.

43:25 Adam Yeah. Are you a virgin?

43:27 Caller Um, no, I don't, well, I was raped.

43:30 Adam Uh-huh.

43:31 Drew Maybe that's where you need this sense of empowerment.

43:34 Caller Who raped you?

43:36 Caller Um, my cousin.

43:37 Drew How old were you?

43:39 Caller Um, I was five.

43:41 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

43:43 Drew So you see how that, the horror of that experience could be something that could drive your future relationships with men.

43:49 Adam How old is your cousin?

43:51 Caller Um, the one that raped me?

43:53 Adam No, his brother.

43:55 Caller His brother? That was like, I don't talk to them anymore.

44:00 Adam Okay, well, let's just go back and re-

44:03 Drew How old is he now?

44:04 Adam How old is your cousin?

44:05 Caller Uh, I have no idea. Maybe in the 20s.

44:08 Drew So he was a teenager when he raped you?

44:09 Caller Yeah.

44:10 Adam Okay, hang on a second.

44:12 Drew We gotta go to Brighton.

44:13 Adam Which cousin?

44:15 Drew His brother. I don't talk to them anymore.

44:17 Adam I feel sorry for someone who's been raped, but when you say, my cousin raped me, and you say, how old's your cousin? And you come back with, which one? What? That's a certain kind of insanity. All right, we'll get to that. Listen, as a guy, by the way, never try to seduce anybody I didn't want to finish the job with. You know what I mean? Not interested in getting homely chicks worked up. Do you know what I'm saying? And Drew, you know what I'm saying, right?

44:46 Drew It certainly doesn't make sense. I've never done it.

44:48 Adam And I don't know guys who've done it. I know guys, I mean, they wanted to screw somebody, maybe they were drunk, whatever, but they wanted something.

44:54 Drew It doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit.

44:56 Adam Yeah, I'm gonna get her panties in a bunch, and then I'll move on laughing. It doesn't exist. Guys don't have that gene. Okay, we'll take a break.

45:23 Caller Wear the G spot on your radio dial.

45:26 Caller Oh, yeah, right there.

45:27 Caller Loveline, on 1027.

45:30 Caller WEBN, Cincinnati.

45:42 Adam Hey, hey, hey, hey, Loveline. All right, we will take ourselves a little break just for 10 seconds and then we'll be back with more Loveline in just 10 seconds.

45:54 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

46:10 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that'd be Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, and we'll go to the phones. Elise?

46:19 Caller Hey, Adam.

46:21 Adam Hey, you're 26, right?

46:24 Caller I saw you in the Burbank Airport yesterday, and I would just want to let you know that you're more handsome in person than you are on the television.

46:31 Adam Really? Nice. I was in the Burbank Airport twice yesterday. When did I see you? At night or in the morning?

46:41 Caller About 9.30 in the morning.

46:43 Adam Yeah, I didn't have my makeup on.

46:45 Drew Were you on your way to Las Vegas, too?

46:47 Caller No, I was on my way to San Francisco.

46:49 Adam And where did we cross paths?

46:55 Caller It was down by Gate A1.

46:57 Adam Ooh, A1.

47:01 Caller I got so nervous and I wanted an autograph, but I thought, I'm not going to bother him.

47:06 Drew He's very disturbed by those sorts of things, too.

47:08 Adam Yeah, I don't like it when the little people approach me. You know that, Drew.

47:12 Drew Oh, yes.

47:12 Adam I'm like Gulliver.

47:13 Drew It's rather embarrassing.

47:14 Adam Yeah. And what were you wearing? Maybe I'll recognize you.

47:21 Caller What was I wearing yesterday? Jeans shorts.

47:24 Adam Oh, yeah. T-shirts. Yeah. No, I don't remember that.

47:28 Caller You're taller than I thought you were.

47:29 Adam That's right. I'm very tall, I'm slender, and I'm strikingly handsome.

47:34 Drew Don't you think that he should join me in the Burbank Airport again on Saturday?

47:38 Caller Yes.

47:38 Adam Yeah. All right. I'll drop you off. All right, Elise. Well, so tell everyone how thrilling it was for you to see me, though.

47:45 Caller Oh, seriously. I all of a sudden got so nervous.

47:48 Caller And I'm like, oh, my God, oh, my God.

47:49 Caller I was with my dad, told him he's like, Adam, who, what?

47:53 Adam Oh, he was just playing it cool. He brought us a crush on me, too.

47:59 Drew All right.

47:59 Adam And where were you heading, Elise?

48:01 Drew San Francisco.

48:01 Adam San Francisco. That sounds nice. I wish I would have went there. All right. Well, it was nice seeing you.

48:07 Caller Well, keep up the good work.

48:08 Adam Well, thanks. Next time, come up and talk to me.

48:11 Caller I will.

48:11 Adam Unless I'm, you know, have that kind of body posture that says, leave me alone. Okay. Okay. Thanks. Bye. All righty. Well, it's nice. It's nice when you get a call from the people. You know what I mean?

48:24 Drew And I like talking to people in the airports. You're always the one like, Drew, you don't have to talk to everybody.

48:28 Adam Well, we're always in a rush. Quentin?

48:33 Drew What's going on there?

48:34 Caller Drew, how you guys doing?

48:34 Adam Is that Quentin? Is that how you pronounce that?

48:37 Caller Not Clinton.

48:38 Drew Quentin.

48:39 Adam Quentin.

48:40 Caller What's up?

48:41 Adam Hey, you're 20. What's going on?

48:43 Caller Well, a lot going on. All right. About a month ago, I was at a club. I was just dancing away, dude. And I met a chick and we exchanged numbers and stuff. And a couple of days later, I gave her a call and we got together and I went and picked her up and went down and watched a movie. And afterwards, we went down to the beach and ended up having sex in the back of my truck like that. Well, I mean, not a big deal. A couple of other times after work, I get off work at 2 30 and I would meet her at her house about 3, 3 30. And we continued to having sex maybe four or five times within the two week span. And then one of her friends, she told me that she was only 15 years old. And got into the club with a fake ID. And it was an 18 and over club. So I never even really thought about her age. She looks 18, no problem.

49:44 Adam Did you ever talk to her though about college or whether she's working or any of that stuff?

49:51 Caller Never. It was summer so she's off. And thought maybe college.

49:57 Adam You know when you know somebody, well that's what I love about guys. You're banging away on them. You don't even know why they're last initial. But I mean.

50:06 Caller Don't think of that.

50:07 Adam No, I understand you're not looking for it. But I'm just saying you're 20. She's 18, 19, maybe she's 20. I mean, you don't know how old she is, but you're driving around going to the movies, driving to the beach or sitting on the beach for a while. Penny for your thoughts kind of stuff.

50:22 Drew You know, he's got the laser beam going. He's got the eye of the tiger at that point.

50:26 Adam I know, but don't you.

50:27 Drew He's not interested in actually learning about her.

50:29 Adam Yeah, but just to get laid, don't you have to make that kind of small talk where you're asking about, hey, what high school did you go to? Did you grow up around here?

50:39 Caller Yeah, but it just didn't happen.

50:42 Adam Okay. All right. Well, now, so you had sex with an infant, essentially.

50:47 Caller Right.

50:47 Drew A zygote.

50:48 Adam A zygote.

50:49 Caller Well, I found out and I went to her and I said, look, how old are you? And she lied and said she was 18.

50:56 Drew Yeah, you're sure this friend wasn't trying to break you guys up?

50:58 Caller Well, I asked to see some ID or something. I said, okay, like a friend of yours said you were 15 years old. And no way I'm going to get stuck with a 15 year old. Well, she finally said, okay, like I'm 15. And she was like crying and stuff. And she like all messed up. And then I said, look, it's over. I can't do this. I'm like, I've got a good career ahead of me and stuff. I've been in the fire trying to get into the fire department and been working hard at it.

51:25 Adam All right. So you can't do it. So what'd she say?

51:28 Caller This chick is saying she's going to go to the cops if I leave her.

51:31 Adam No. No, she's not going to the cops.

51:34 Caller I think she might.

51:35 Adam No.

51:36 Caller If you break up.

51:37 Adam No.

51:37 Caller I'm going to go to the cops and I'm going to get you for.

51:39 Adam She's threatening.

51:41 Caller Well, that's just.

51:41 Adam She's threatening you, but she's not going to do it.

51:43 Caller Let's just say she does do it.

51:44 Adam Okay. Let's say she does.

51:45 Caller I'm waiting on my end.

51:48 Adam I don't think. I mean, listen. You go to the cops. She goes to the cops. You say you met this chick at 18 and over club. Immediately, the onus, if I'm using that right, is on the club and not on you.

52:04 Drew Well, no, it's on him still, but the point is he has no obligation.

52:09 Adam No, it's not.

52:10 Drew I understand the club has some liability to be hit, but he has no obligation to say anything, frankly. The onus is on her to prove that something's happened and she would need a forensic examination to prove that they even had sex. If she hadn't done that, it's just her word against his.

52:23 Adam But if you meet somebody in a place that says for adults only, and then you carry on an adult interaction with the person, hey, maybe it's, let's just say, forget about sex, let's just say it's beer. Let's just say you're at a 21 and over club. You met a chick at a 21 and over club and afterward you went out for a drink. Do you think you could be held liable for giving her a drink when you met her at a club that was over 21? I don't think so.

52:55 Drew Ignorance is not a defense, Adam. It's like saying, when you're speeding because your speedometer wasn't working, doesn't matter, you're speeding.

53:01 Adam No, that's not the same example. It isn't. And I don't think any, listen, you could run somebody over and kill him. You're not going to do a day in jail. Nobody's going to prosecute this. He's not going to get in any trouble for this.

53:18 Drew I would think she'd have an incredible difficult time proving anything. She'd have to have had a forensic examination with a few hours.

53:23 Adam Even if she did, she met him at an overage or not an underage club, told him she was a certain age, and that was it. I don't think he's going to get in trouble for that. And she's not going to the cops anyway.

53:38 Drew Now, did we finish with Angel? Angel's the one.

53:40 Adam No, we never did finish with Angel.

53:42 Drew So Angel. Hello?

53:44 Adam Angel tries to. Angel's problem is she's 15. She was raped by an older cousin when she was five. And he was like, I don't know, 15 or something. So that was horrible.

54:00 Drew What typically happens, Angel, when somebody's been through something like that, if they're a female, they tend to act out compulsively sexually in such a way as to gain positions of power over men.

54:11 Caller Yeah, but I think these past few weeks, it's gotten worser.

54:16 Drew I understand, worser.

54:17 Adam But just... Listen, I'm no English teacher, but I believe it's more worser.

54:22 Drew And men who've been through this will often act out in a way to try to exploit females. So it's funny that women become the subjects of the victimizers. They both operate in the same dance after they've had the same history of abuse.

54:35 Adam Anything else happen in your life other than this?

54:38 Caller I was molested a few times.

54:41 Adam By your father?

54:43 Caller No, not by my father, but by...

54:46 Drew The father of these cousins, probably.

54:48 Caller No.

54:49 Adam No?

54:50 Caller No. See, my cousins, the ones...

54:52 Adam Well, who molested you?

54:53 Caller Okay, my cousin. Let's just give him a name, John, okay?

54:58 Caller Okay.

54:59 Adam By the way, you could just call him John and we'll be fine with that.

55:02 Caller Okay.

55:03 Adam You don't have to do the whole preamble part of it.

55:06 Caller Well, when I was five, we went to a foreign country, Greece, and that's where I got raped.

55:14 Adam By your cousin, John.

55:15 Caller By my cousin.

55:17 Adam Right.

55:17 Caller Okay. Then when I came back here to the USA, I got molested by two people. One of them was my best friend, is my best friend right now.

55:28 Drew The same guy?

55:30 Caller The same guy.

55:30 Drew Oh, for crying out loud.

55:31 Adam Totally healthy, perfectly normal.

55:35 Drew Oh my god.

55:36 Caller And the other one was.

55:38 Adam This is the guy you're kind of toying with too, right?

55:41 Caller Yeah.

55:42 Adam That's nice. And who is the other guy who molested you?

55:45 Caller That was, my sister had, my sister had a friend, and every day she'd pick me up from school and bring me to her house, and that was her brother.

55:59 Adam Okay, so how old were you when the molestation happened?

56:04 Caller That was like nine, seven. That was when I was going through puberty, period and everything.

56:10 Adam Well, seven or nine.

56:12 Drew Eleven or twelve, you mean?

56:14 Caller Well, no, nine. That's when I got my period.

56:17 Drew Okay.

56:18 Caller I got my period when I was nine.

56:20 Drew Yeah.

56:20 Caller When my breasts were developing and everything.

56:23 Adam Well, your breasts develop, you get your period at nine?

56:27 Caller Yeah.

56:29 Caller Nine?

56:30 Caller So it wasn't really easy for me, you know? You know, people harassing you and stuff.

56:35 Adam You know what? When in nine, you're in the third grade?

56:38 Drew Fifth grade.

56:39 Caller Yeah, third grade.

56:40 Caller Oh, third grade, yeah.

56:41 Caller You're right, you're right.

56:43 Adam Nine, that's a year younger than ten. That's almost eight. Your kids will be nine tomorrow, Drew.

56:51 Caller I know.

56:52 Adam Hold on, hey, all right, so you're nine, you get your period, you start developing brass?

56:56 Caller Yeah.

56:57 Adam And you're dancing at a bar by 11 or? Okay, so, and the guys who molest you, one of them is nine as well? Your age, right?

57:08 Caller One of them is a little older, maybe 11.

57:12 Adam And the other one is?

57:14 Caller The other one, I think it was 10, 11, 12.

57:18 Adam Well, how old is your, okay, I'm going to figure this out right now. Your best friend, the guy you tease and taunt until late, how old is he now?

57:27 Caller 17.

57:28 Adam Okay, so he's two years older?

57:30 Caller Yep.

57:30 Adam Okay. And so this guy did some stuff to you with this other guy, yet you remain best friends with him, and now you sort of tease him in a sort of veiled attempt to control him and regain some power?

57:42 Caller Yeah.

57:42 Adam Yeah. And where's your dad?

57:45 Caller He's in jail.

57:46 Adam There you go. Now we're getting to it. What's he in jail for?

57:52 Drew Abusing the cousins.

57:53 Caller He had a gun and it didn't have a license. Goes on and on and on.

58:00 Adam Let me tell you.

58:01 Caller Let me tell you how it goes on.

58:03 Adam No, he put ammunition in it and then he shot this guy. That's the on and on.

58:07 Drew That's when he was on parole.

58:08 Adam Listen, here's a mental note. Never name daughter Angel. There's about an 85% chance you're going to prison within five years. All right, so everything's a disaster, right? Yeah. Angel, okay. So listen, sweetie, you've been through a lot and you're going to get pregnant. You're going to get screwed up. This is going to be a mess. You're going to continue the sort of mess that is your family if you don't sort of get hold of things. So just stop acting out. You got to get some counseling for the rape. You have to be proactive. You have to do something. If you just sit back, here's what I want to say. If Drew just sat back at 15, he would have still ended up going to some Ivy League school. If you sit back, you're going to be doing snuff films in a year and a half. I mean, that's where your course is heading. You can't just sit back with your background, your biology, your history, what you've been through, your family. You just put on cruise control and you'll be cruising right into the sewer. I guarantee it.

59:18 Drew You need to work on it minute by minute.

59:19 Adam You do need to think about it and you need to work at it.

59:24 Caller But the thing is like the seducing thing is like a really big problem for me.

59:29 Adam Oh, OK. Well, then that's different.

59:31 Caller Yeah, but the-

59:32 Adam Yeah, you need to work on that. Do you hear me?

59:35 Caller Well, it's not that easy.

59:37 Adam I know it's not easy. You've got to get therapy. I mean, you're raped.

59:40 Caller I'm already going through count. I'm already going through count.

59:44 Adam Good.

59:44 Drew We'll stay with that.

59:45 Adam Stay with it. That's it.

59:46 Drew That is the solution here.

59:48 Adam And boy, stay with it. Man, you've got to stay with it.

59:51 Drew For a long, long time.

59:55 Adam Yeah, that's lovely, isn't it? Just lovely.

59:59 Drew Gift that keeps on giving.

1:00:00 Adam Will, you're 16 years old.

1:00:04 Caller Yeah. I've been listening to you guys for a long time, and you guys are all cool. I love you, Adam. Your show is funny as hell.

1:00:14 Adam This show or the man show?

1:00:15 Caller The man show.

1:00:16 Adam Yeah. That's right. That's a good show. That's my good show.

1:00:19 Caller Yeah.

1:00:19 Adam You know, some people have like a good side or a good eye or a good ear. I have a good show.

1:00:25 Drew Appreciate it.

1:00:25 Adam That's the man show.

1:00:28 Caller Yeah, it's funny.

1:00:29 Caller I love it.

1:00:30 Caller But my question is, like two days ago, I was at a paintball tournament and paintball, paintball.

1:00:40 Drew Yeah, paintball. Okay.

1:00:41 Caller Paintball. I got shot in the dick with paintball and it didn't hit my nuts.

1:00:47 Drew Gesundheit.

1:00:48 Adam That's going to be the name of Drew's autobiography.

1:00:54 Caller I got hit in the dick with a paintball and the left side of my head is purple.

1:01:00 Drew Sure.

1:01:00 Caller Yeah.

1:01:00 Adam Well, that was the color of the dye in the ball, though, right? Let's be fair.

1:01:04 Caller No, it was yellow. But I'm wondering if there could be any complications or anything.

1:01:11 Drew Everything working okay?

1:01:14 Caller Well, yeah. Right now it is.

1:01:18 Adam Was this a tournament or something?

1:01:20 Caller Yeah.

1:01:21 Adam Yeah. Are you into the paintball?

1:01:23 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:01:24 Adam Yeah. I like that paintball. You've done that paintball, Drew?

1:01:27 Drew I bet that'll be fun, though.

1:01:28 Adam That is a good time. That is some kind of an adrenaline rush. I mean, you think you're getting shot at.

1:01:35 Drew Yeah.

1:01:36 Adam Well, you are. I mean, you get hit. It hurts like a mofo.

1:01:39 Drew Yeah.

1:01:42 Adam And you're adrenaline's pumping. Your heart's beating. And, you know, they've got these new guns with these big, you know, hoppers on top of them and they're semi-automatic and they... You don't have to put these little CO2 cartridges in them anymore. They have these, like, 3,000-pound PSI little tanks that they super fill and everything. And basically, you just go blast away all day. And I was at a paintball store a couple weeks ago, and they got the guns. You know, it's funny about the... You know the part about life that I like, Drew? They make a pair of, like, specialized shorts.

1:02:19 Drew For paintballs.

1:02:19 Adam For paintball. Yeah. Yeah. They make...

1:02:21 Drew It's called economic efficiencies.

1:02:24 Adam You know, it cracks me up, though, cause it's like, explain to me... I've seen the snowboarding shorts. Explain to me the big difference between the paintballing shorts and the snowboarding shorts, and then just the shorts the guys are wearing down at Venice, and then the shorts my Uncle Lou wears, you know? But I love the fact that there's a specific piece of apparel. And by the way, there's a special sunglasses made for everything, too. There's sunglasses made for guys who hunt ducks, there's sunglasses made for guys who fly planes, there's sunglasses made for guys who fly those model planes, paintball, there's paintball sunglasses, everyone makes their own sunglasses. Same sun, different application. Much different when you're looking at a duck, or looking at a model plane, or looking at a paintball.

1:03:08 Drew Totally different.

1:03:09 Adam Totally different UV thing going on.

1:03:11 Drew And, I mean, how about your appearance, I mean...

1:03:15 Adam Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. You're trying to achieve a different look when you're shooting paintball as opposed to flying an airplane or something like that.

1:03:22 Drew Of course, you're trying to camouflage yourself totally differently when you're hunting duck than persons.

1:03:26 Adam That's right. That's right. But I'll tell you, that paintball is a good time. I gotta get back into that. But when you get shot with a paintball, it hurts. It hurts a lot, right?

1:03:37 Drew Mental note, don't play paintball.

1:03:38 Adam It leaves serious, it leaves a serious well.

1:03:42 Drew Listen, people get knocked in the eye with those things. It can damage your eye.

1:03:45 Adam Oh yeah. You have to wear goggles. Anywhere else, it's just, you know, if you got hit like right in the rectum, I think that would hurt. And the head of the penis could be a little rough too. I would wear a cuff.

1:03:56 Drew How do people get inside the anus and get you in the rectum?

1:03:59 Adam You don't have to go to the bathroom when you're like bivwhacking and some sniper comes up on you. You know what I'm saying, Drew? I know the games are only like 10 to 15 minutes long, but hey, you got to go, you got to go. What are you going to do, stop the game? No. You just find yourself a bush and you get busy and a guy comes up underneath you. That's it, right in the anus. Okay. All right. So what should he do? Is he going to be all right?

1:04:22 Drew I forgot.

1:04:23 Adam He got hit in the penis on the paintball.

1:04:25 Drew Sounds like he'll be fine. Just a bruise.

1:04:27 Adam Yeah.

1:04:27 Drew Yeah.

1:04:28 Adam Okay.

1:04:29 Drew The tip is a pretty forgiving area of the penis.

1:04:31 Adam It is? It is? Because it doesn't have that cavernoso in it?

1:04:35 Drew Right.

1:04:36 Adam Okay. Where are we going?

1:04:37 Drew Five.

1:04:38 Adam I can't see. It's all bad. Oh, please. You know I can't see that. David? Yeah? He's perky, by the way.

1:04:45 Drew It's radio.

1:04:46 Adam Nice. What's going on?

1:04:48 Caller How's your hand, man?

1:04:50 Adam It's all right. It's got a big scar on it, but it's feeling a little better.

1:04:54 Caller Working okay?

1:04:55 Adam Yeah. I haven't used it for that yet.

1:04:57 Caller No.

1:04:57 Drew Tonight's the reunion.

1:04:58 Caller Oh, I see.

1:05:00 Caller Hey, I want to ask you guys, Steve.

1:05:01 Adam Tonight will be the reunion. It'll be like me and my hand will be spinning around in slow motion in a big field of clover.

1:05:11 Caller Hey, I need some advice, dude. My girlfriend and I just recently started experimenting with some sex toys like handcuffs and edible gels and vibrators and things like that.

1:05:22 Adam Yeah.

1:05:23 Caller She is just absolutely sensational. But ever since we've been doing this, it hasn't been quite as good.

1:05:28 Caller Why?

1:05:29 Caller Oh, I don't know. I think it's because she's trying to enjoy those and it's taken away from some of the other stuff, I think. And I just need, like, what's a really, really good way to kind of tell her gently without making it sound like, like, well, I don't want to come off sounding like...

1:05:55 Caller Right.

1:05:56 Adam Prude. You don't want to sound prude or unsupportive. Hey, David, you ever been with a guy?

1:06:03 Caller No.

1:06:04 Adam Never?

1:06:05 Caller No.

1:06:05 Adam Oh, man. I'll tell you, I recommend it. Yeah.

1:06:10 Caller I'll have to pass on that.

1:06:11 Adam Yeah, you don't like guys?

1:06:12 Caller No.

1:06:13 Adam Not at all? Uh, no. Some of them are cute. No? Never had any interest in a guy?

1:06:20 Caller Not in the least.

1:06:22 Adam Pretty religious family you come from?

1:06:24 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:06:24 Caller Yeah.

1:06:25 Adam They wouldn't like that, would they?

1:06:28 Caller No. Actually, no, they don't. They didn't even like me listening to Loveline, but, you know, I'm just, you know, what the hell can they do?

1:06:33 Adam Well, once in a while, when you're pleasuring yourself, you think about a guy, right?

1:06:37 Caller Never.

1:06:37 Adam Never. Okay. So, she's getting into all these things. You find it, you're a little put off by it. It's like, hey, I'm not good enough for you?

1:06:47 Caller I guess.

1:06:47 Drew Does it scare you?

1:06:50 Caller Yes, it's a good part of it.

1:06:52 Adam And I know what you're saying. Guys have these sort of fragile egos this way, which is on one hand, they're excited, they're up for anything, but they do want to be the initiator. And when a woman pulls something out and says, hey, this is good, in a way, some guys can be put off by that. And I think it's just a matter of degree. Some guys will like it, some guys won't, and then there's sort of everything in between. But you don't like it, and I don't think you should feel threatened by it. It sort of sounds like you feel threatened by it.

1:07:24 Drew Yeah, that's why I'm picking up. It somehow overwhelms you. It's too much.

1:07:29 Adam Do you feel threatened by it?

1:07:34 Caller Well, it's hard to say. Yeah, it's not threatened like I think that she's going to be enjoying that more than me.

1:07:43 Drew No, threatened in that it's just sort of overwhelming to you to be involved in all that.

1:07:48 Caller Yeah.

1:07:48 Drew It's too much.

1:07:49 Caller I suppose, yeah.

1:07:50 Drew Too much. All right. It's too much. You try to find a way to tone it down a little bit. But you got to be honest with her, and you have to tune in to what you're actually feeling and not be vague about it, because she's going to take it as... It's going to be not pleasant for her to have to be told the things that she feels comfortable doing that is good for her. Just, hey, cut it out. Yeah. Because we're going to feel like something wrong with her. It's not that. It's just too much for you, and you're just not quite comfortable.

1:08:16 Adam You know, I know people talk a lot about those edible underwear and panties and the gels and all that kind of naughty, erotic stuff. Never my cup of tea. The whole thing with the gel and the, you know, I'm licking this off you and I'm eating that, I'm eating the underpants off you and that kind of thing, didn't sound like a great, just didn't sound like a great plan. There's just never anything in it for me. You know what I'm talking about, Drew?

1:08:47 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:08:48 Adam Is there anything in it for you with that?

1:08:50 Caller No.

1:08:51 Adam I mean, sure, if you're eating the panties and they're on, you know, Claudia Schiffer or something, fine. But in that case, let's just get rid of the panties and get right, right to the right to the nougatie center of the candy. You know, I mean, all that stuff is good, provided it's on somebody. But then if it's on somebody you're really into, you just want to kind of get rid of it and get to it. And then all that, that angle of, well, you've been married for 45 years. And after your wife had that goiter removed, you know, some of it, this is a way to bring the spark back and, you know, she's...

1:09:28 Drew How could it be when it's not good on Claudia Schiver?

1:09:32 Adam Yeah, I mean, that's my thing too. It's like, now I have this chick, she's covered with hair and stretch marks and I hate her. And we've been married for too long. And now I'm going to breathe some life in this relationship by licking some boysenberry syrup off her nipple. I didn't understand that either. I thought I think it's a movie thing.

1:09:51 Drew Well, women are kind of this stuff too, right?

1:09:54 Adam I do think women a little more than guys. Guys that do it because like, all right, honey, if you like it and it gets me laid, then we're both happy. And I don't know any guys that are into it.

1:10:04 Drew No.

1:10:05 Adam Okay, good. The vibrator. Now that's a whole different animal there. I'm not including that in this conversation. That is my bread and my butter. It's mostly my butter.

1:10:16 Drew Put your hand behind your back and say we're jealous.

1:10:19 Adam The hand hurts. My precious.

1:10:23 Caller We'll have our time.

1:10:24 Adam Okay, we're going to take.

1:10:26 Drew We're going to take. We've been feeling abandoned lately.

1:10:28 Adam Don't listen to him. We're going to take. Oh, smells sexy even. I'm going to spray perfume on my hand tonight. Okay, we'll take a little break. And when we come back, we'll speak to Monica's 18, who's been having sexual thoughts about girls. She wants to know if she should pursue them or not. Well, I know Drew's answer is yes, but I'll figure out mine after this.

1:10:54 Caller When you look at their faces, you will see it loud and clear. Dedication, commitment. These are the qualities shared by everyone who has ever played or coached high school football. It's about working together and doing whatever it takes to earn a little respect. Most of all, it's about enjoying yourself win or lose. The NFL is proud of all high school football players and coaches who give their all. While the kids get more than a few football thrills, it's even more important that they learn their share of life skills. High School Football. It's in all of us. This message furnished by the National Football League.

1:11:27 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

1:11:30 Caller Just a minute or two.

1:11:31 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:44 Caller Oh, you're right there.

1:11:45 Caller It's Loveline on W-E-B-S.

1:12:05 Adam Hello. It is Loveline. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Did you eat some Thai food tonight, Drew?

1:12:13 Drew Yeah.

1:12:14 Adam I love that Thai food.

1:12:15 Drew Do you like it when I eat it?

1:12:16 Adam No.

1:12:17 Drew I don't think so.

1:12:17 Adam I'm not a big fan of it when it comes out second hand, but I enjoy the Thai food. I like the mee krab.

1:12:24 Drew What is that?

1:12:25 Adam They're like sweet, flaky noodles. I like Thai food because it's like, going to a Thai restaurant is like eating an abazaba. It's all sweet. Everything is sweet.

1:12:34 Drew Sweet and peanuts, sweet and peanuts.

1:12:36 Adam And a lot of people like, they like Chinese. They like Japanese. They don't like Thai.

1:12:42 Drew Thai is exotic. It's more exotic and spicy. It's a little, it's kind of spicy abazaba.

1:12:48 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like the Thai food. I don't, I don't trust those that don't. And you guys know what I'm talking about. Monica. Yeah.

1:12:56 Drew Jimmy doesn't like Thai food.

1:12:58 Adam Excuse me? Jimmy and his wife, Gina, don't like Thai food.

1:13:00 Drew Oh, Adam.

1:13:01 Adam Yeah.

1:13:02 Drew I'm so sorry.

1:13:03 Adam It's a deal breaker.

1:13:04 Drew One of you guys never really...

1:13:05 Adam I don't understand that. I really don't. If you like, if you like Chinese, you should like Thai food.

1:13:10 Drew Well, I'm sure you can convince Jimmy.

1:13:12 Adam Maybe Jimmy, but Gina won't come along. Monica.

1:13:16 Drew Yeah.

1:13:16 Adam You're 18.

1:13:17 Drew Yeah.

1:13:17 Adam What's going on?

1:13:19 Caller I don't know. That's why I called you guys.

1:13:21 Adam All right.

1:13:21 Caller Yeah.

1:13:22 Adam Oh, yeah. You're having sexual thoughts about girls.

1:13:24 Caller Yeah.

1:13:25 Caller And I don't know whether like if I should proceed them or not, because I don't know. I just think it's like, you know, like I, it's not my thing. You know what I'm saying?

1:13:33 Drew Then why are you worried about it?

1:13:35 Caller I don't know, because I'm having, I'm still having these feelings.

1:13:38 Drew Is there anything we should know about your past to help us understand why you might have some real sexual ambivalence?

1:13:45 Caller Nothing like dramatic or nothing.

1:13:49 Drew What's not dramatic about it?

1:13:50 Caller I mean, no, nothing really.

1:13:51 Drew Nothing. So is it just sort of fleeting fantasies, fancies you're having, right?

1:13:56 Caller Yeah.

1:13:57 Drew Passing fancies.

1:13:59 Caller No. I mean, I'm kind of like attracted to girls, but like-

1:14:02 Drew Have you always been that way?

1:14:04 Caller Excuse me?

1:14:04 Drew Have you always been that way?

1:14:07 Caller As far as I can remember, like 12, about like maybe like 12, 13.

1:14:13 Drew And that's been your primary focus?

1:14:15 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

1:14:16 Caller Just like sometimes like with some like around like girls who I'm attracted to. But I mean, I don't like, I guess I'm not open like with myself.

1:14:26 Adam Have you ever had an experience with a woman at all?

1:14:28 Caller No.

1:14:29 Adam Yeah, me neither.

1:14:30 Caller I want to, but-

1:14:32 Adam What are you talking to?

1:14:33 Drew All right.

1:14:34 Adam Yeah.

1:14:34 Drew All right, so what's your question for us?

1:14:36 Caller Whether I should proceed or not?

1:14:38 Drew I mean- Well, you just stated it, you want to. You're clear about it, you're 18.

1:14:42 Caller I'm not stopping me.

1:14:43 Caller If I'm going to regret it.

1:14:45 Adam Well, is your family religious?

1:14:48 Caller No.

1:14:49 Adam No.

1:14:49 Caller Well, Christian, I mean-

1:14:51 Adam Would they care?

1:14:54 Caller Maybe, I don't know.

1:14:55 Drew What is it that makes you fearful that you're going to regret?

1:14:58 Caller Just by doing, just by going by it, saying, oh yeah, I messed with a girl. I mean, just-

1:15:05 Drew Being that person that does that, what makes you ashamed?

1:15:08 Caller I think a little bit, yeah.

1:15:10 Adam All right. Well, so you're not ready, then?

1:15:13 Caller But I am ready.

1:15:15 Caller I mean, I want to do it, but-

1:15:16 Adam Well, listen, there's- Let me see. Let me figure out how to put this. There's this time in life. There's a lot of stuff you end up doing that you're not ready to do. Okay. I'm trying to figure out how to articulate myself. What I mean is, whatever you end up doing in life, oftentimes, there's a point when you're not ready to do it, and at that point, you're not ready to do it. You don't obsess on it. You don't think about it. Then you fast forward, and there's a point where you're doing it. You've already done it. Whatever. It's a moot point. But there's that point where you're sort of on the cusp, almost in whatever endeavor, whether it's a relationship or education or a job or whatever, when you're sort of on the cusp. And maybe Monica's on the cusp. Maybe this is just the point where she has both feelings, and it's kind of 50-50, and then she'll cross over into Lesbonia. And eventually, the border will just be a distant path, a distant memory, right?

1:16:17 Drew She could contact Gay and Lesbian Youth Center. Those are places where she can go for resources to talk to people who have been through this kind of thing, maybe clarify what she's going to do.

1:16:23 Adam Oh, they're going to try to win her over.

1:16:24 Drew No, no, no.

1:16:25 Adam They don't? What do they do over there?

1:16:28 Drew Want to call one and see?

1:16:29 Adam Yeah.

1:16:29 Drew Okay.

1:16:30 Adam We'll call one and find out what goes on at that youth center, beside caroms.

1:16:33 Drew Susan, Adam's going to have my car tented, windows, for our birthday.

1:16:38 Adam I told her today. That's Drew's wife. Yeah. We're swapping.

1:16:42 Drew Wait, I can't hear her.

1:16:43 Adam We're swapping cars.

1:16:45 Drew What? We hear you. Oh, oh, oh.

1:16:47 Adam Oh, you want Susan on? Hold on. Drew's lovely wife, Susan, is stopped by the studio tonight in a very rare visit. Very rare and alarming visit. Shouldn't you be calling before you come by? You don't know what kind of state of undress I could be in in here.

1:17:03 Caller I'm sorry.

1:17:04 Adam You guys had a little Thai food tonight? Yeah, that's the mic from there. Oh, she can't hear me.

1:17:12 Caller I'm sorry.

1:17:13 Adam Yeah, I know. Listen, hold on a second. Let me just hang on.

1:17:16 Drew Let me talk to Drew for a second.

1:17:18 Adam I wish I could put her on hold. Drew, don't just start talking to people in other rooms because they're not listening. No one knows what we're talking about. Then everyone just sits around and looks at me like a trooper. Yes. And it never works out. I love you too, Adam. Thank you. No, Susan, it's nothing personal. You're doing fine. You're talking to the mic. Drew, talk to Susan.

1:17:39 Caller How you doing, honey?

1:17:41 Adam Hold on, Susan, don't stand up in between syllables. Wherever the mic is, stay by the mic. I'm fine. All right. And no, no, no, stand up. Lean forward.

1:17:53 Drew Stay on the mic.

1:17:54 Adam Stay on the microphone.

1:17:55 Caller Just look at that.

1:17:55 Drew It drives me crazy.

1:17:56 Caller I'm on it. I'm on it. All right.

1:17:58 Adam So why did you stop by tonight? What's the occasion?

1:18:01 Caller Well, tonight is Dana's birthday.

1:18:03 Drew It's my sister. Now Susan's telling me she's one of our callers.

1:18:06 Adam Yeah.

1:18:06 Drew It's Jill's birthday. That's why I'm here.

1:18:08 Adam Oh, Dana. Yeah. Perfect.

1:18:10 Caller Well, I actually came because of you, Adam.

1:18:13 Adam There you go.

1:18:15 Drew I'm trying to convince you to come with us this weekend.

1:18:18 Adam There's a strange attraction, I think Susan has to me.

1:18:21 Caller Yes. I know it's not.

1:18:22 Drew Is it reciprocated?

1:18:24 Adam Yeah. Well, because I think she looks at me as the disciplinarian of the family. Right. Drew's too easy. I mean, you already got him whooped.

1:18:34 Caller No, you're a cod.

1:18:35 Adam Yeah. I'm like a wild animal that you're trying to tame constantly.

1:18:38 Caller Yes.

1:18:39 Caller Yes.

1:18:44 Adam Is Drew, should Drew, I tell Drew, I got to be honest with you, Susan, I tell him every once in a while, listen, you got to, you got to stand up to this woman. You got to train her a little bit. Wouldn't you respect him a little bit more?

1:18:55 Caller I'm sorry. What did you say?

1:18:56 Adam I got to be, I got to be honest with you. I don't want to get Drew in trouble, but this porn star, she sent over a bouquet of flowers, you know, over to the studio.

1:19:05 Caller I'm listening.

1:19:06 Adam Uh-oh. Drew, no, you're fine. Listen, I swear to God, you sleep over at my house tonight if there's a problem. This porn star, okay, here's what goes on. Jenna Jamison comes in the studio on, let's say, a Monday night. And I've known Jenna for a while, and she's a big porn star. And we're sitting around, and we're all talking during the commercial break. And Jenna's getting into her family and her past. And Drew gives her a couple words of wisdom. You know, seek a little counseling. I think her mother died when she was young.

1:19:39 Drew She had the abuse of father.

1:19:41 Adam She had a bad upbringing. You know, what a surprise. She's in the porno business. Drew gives her a couple of tips, okay? The next day, and they made out, the next day, no, they didn't make out. The next day, a bouquet of flowers arrives from Jenna in a note that says to Drew, thanks for the talk. I appreciated it. I said, that'll look nice on your coffee table there, Drew.

1:20:06 Caller So that's where the flowers came from? No, no, no.

1:20:08 Adam No, you never saw these.

1:20:09 Caller Oh, I'm sorry.

1:20:10 Adam Drew says, no way am I bringing those flowers home. Why not? Well, you know, Susan will tear me a new A-Haul. I said, no, she won't. This is a nice bouquet of flowers. This girl, she dropped the 80 bucks. I mean, that's like 30 seconds of getting screwed or blowing some guy. I don't know how it works out. I don't know what they get an hour. But the point is, is she plopped down some hard earned money. You got a nice bouquet. You just go home and tell Susan that this is a gift. It was sent to me. There's no big deal. Get over it.

1:20:40 Caller And I'm sure she was really thinking about me.

1:20:43 Caller So here you go.

1:20:44 Adam Oh, yeah, you may be right. Maybe you're right.

1:20:47 Caller And how much he loves me.

1:20:49 Adam Maybe.

1:20:49 Caller And how he's loved to come here every night and help other people.

1:20:54 Drew That's true.

1:20:55 Adam You may have had a point.

1:20:57 Caller Thank you, Jennifer.

1:20:58 Caller So, remember.

1:21:00 Adam I told him, you take this bouquet home, you put it down, and if Susan gets bent out of shape, you tell her to get a handle on herself. This is no big deal. Somebody sends me some flowers because I talked to them.

1:21:14 Caller I'm handling as much as I can.

1:21:16 Adam Am I right, though?

1:21:17 Caller I'm doing the best I can.

1:21:19 Adam Would you have gotten bent out of shape or not?

1:21:21 Drew She's bent out of shape now.

1:21:22 Adam I know, but you would have gotten bent out of shape, is what you're saying. I took the flowers home, as it is, and mounted them.

1:21:29 Caller No, it's nice that she did that, and I understand.

1:21:32 Adam Would you have been mad at Drew?

1:21:33 Caller But I wonder if I gave flowers to a married man.

1:21:37 Adam Would that be okay? Oh, my God, you're right. You've got a real problem here.

1:21:41 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:21:42 Adam You would have been mad at Drew for bringing those home.

1:21:45 Caller Well, I think maybe I should send flowers to one of my clients because they're nice to me.

1:21:49 Adam You would have been...

1:21:49 Caller I'm sure the pair would love it.

1:21:50 Adam Answer the question. Answer the question. Would you have been mad at Drew for bringing those flowers home?

1:21:58 Caller Not if he said he bought them for me.

1:22:00 Adam All right, but if he said one of our guests gave me these flowers and I'm bringing them home. And he said, Jenna Jamison, the porn star.

1:22:08 Caller I would say, oh, I'm sorry, I don't understand.

1:22:12 Adam Okay, so you would have been mad. All right, Drew is right. Drew said he ain't dealing with it. He gave me the flowers and I took them home.

1:22:20 Drew I said it would be hurtful to bring them home. That would be wrong. I would have been considerate of her.

1:22:26 Adam Now, Drew said, Drew, to be honest, Drew said, listen, Susan, she's a busy woman. I'm not going to put her through this and I'm not bringing them home. And I'm not stirring anything up. He's a good boy. You know what I mean? I hope you take that the best way possible. I do. But the point is, is you have them very well trained. That's all I'm saying. Now I said to Drew, Drew, you take those goddamn flowers home and you make a stand. You show her who's boss. Now is your time to make a stand. Drew said he wanted to pick his battles and this wasn't one of them. My God.

1:23:02 Caller We had enough flowers, thank you.

1:23:03 Adam All right. I would have come home and I made a statement with those flowers, Drew. That would have been me. But that's why Susan likes me. Because I'm dangerous.

1:23:13 Caller Right. And that's why I'm with Drew.

1:23:17 Adam Well, you just met him first. That's all. Give it time. All right. Shut that mic in there, and where are we here, Drew?

1:23:24 Drew We're going to break.

1:23:25 Adam We're going to break. I didn't get you into trouble, did I? Yeah. No, I didn't. Seriously. You can't get into trouble.

1:23:32 Drew You can't get into trouble.

1:23:33 Adam You can't get in trouble for that, can you? No, she's fine. Okay. Listen. And you just come out smelling like a rose because someone sends you some flowers. You go, no, I'm not bringing them home.

1:23:45 Drew No, I know what I'm talking about.

1:23:47 Adam I took them home. I gave them to Lynette. I was like, here, honey, that's, that was from, for Drew from the porn star. She's like, oh, great.

1:23:56 Drew Close to, she ever gets the flowers.

1:23:57 Adam That's as close as it gets. All right, we'll take a little break and we'll be back after this. Drew over there, sister, wife, and brother-in-law are leaving the building. Susan, she got a lot of energy. That's the difference between me and you. Like, she's like a whippet, you know? And you know what I want? I want like a blood hound. Like one of those dogs that just naps on the porch while that guy drinks moonshine. You know, like times the tail. I can hear it through the door. The tail moves, you know, as my rocking chair leans back. That's really like the only movement of my mate.

1:25:08 Drew The tail gets out of the way of the rocking chair.

1:25:12 Adam That's what I want in a woman. I want her to get her tail out of the way of my rocking chair. Just lay there on the porch. That's what I like. I don't like energy. You know, it makes me nervous.

1:25:23 Drew We've noticed that. Me and the listeners.

1:25:25 Caller Okay.

1:25:26 Adam I swear to God. Go in there and tell your wife to be quiet. I can hear it through. Wait, wait. Let's see if I can hear. Yeah, that's producer Ann doing a wonderful job of producing. Standing outside the door, yapping it up. There you go. Yeah.

1:25:43 Caller Hi honey.

1:25:44 Adam Okay. Shut the door. Jesus Christ. Where are we?

1:25:49 Drew Erin.

1:25:49 Adam Erin?

1:25:50 Caller Hi.

1:25:50 Adam You're 19.

1:25:52 Caller Yes, I am.

1:25:52 Adam What's going on?

1:25:54 Caller I have been going to a psychologist for about a year. In between that time, I went away to college. There have been a lot of things that happened at college. One of the worst things that happened was I got involved with a very emotionally unstable guy.

1:26:17 Drew And what is the question for us?

1:26:19 Caller The question is, how exactly do I go about talking to the psychologist about that?

1:26:24 Drew About the abuse?

1:26:26 Caller Yeah.

1:26:27 Adam What did he do to you?

1:26:28 Caller Well, he and I were together for about a week. We were, quote unquote, friends for a long time after that. Basically, he would hold the things I said to him over my head in exchange for sexual favors, things like that.

1:26:47 Adam Okay, but this has to go far beyond this brief relationship with this guy.

1:26:53 Drew So we have to put yourself in that situation.

1:26:55 Adam What happened before this?

1:26:57 Caller I was actually molested by my cousin.

1:27:00 Adam That's better.

1:27:00 Drew Do you talk to the therapist about that?

1:27:02 Caller First called.

1:27:03 Drew Do you talk to the therapist about that?

1:27:04 Caller No, and that's my problem is I've talked to her about how me and my mother don't get along, and that's kind of the issue that we're facing.

1:27:11 Drew I have such a hard time understanding, how can you go to therapy for a year and not talk about such a critical period of your development?

1:27:19 Caller I don't know exactly.

1:27:22 Adam And what else beside what your cousin did to you? Anything?

1:27:28 Caller I had a friend after that. It was my best friend's boyfriend.

1:27:32 Adam Who molested you?

1:27:34 Caller Yeah.

1:27:35 Adam What, second one of the night, by the way, where the cousin came first and then a friend.

1:27:39 Caller It's a lot of cousins.

1:27:40 Adam Came in second. Yeah. If I have kids, I'm going to have to kill, who would their cousins be? My nephew?

1:27:48 Drew Right, the kid that's alive, your sisters.

1:27:51 Adam Oh, those? Oh, jeez, they're cute. Jesus Christ, I got a hard time putting them down. Oh, well. You gotta do what you gotta do. What are you gonna do? All right, Erin, so, and where's your dad through all this?

1:28:05 Caller Oh, my dad lives at home.

1:28:06 Adam Okay.

1:28:07 Caller There's no problem with my mother and father.

1:28:11 Adam Okay. Okay, but there sure is a lot of molestation going on for good mom and good papa.

1:28:19 Caller Um, yeah, my dad was alcoholic.

1:28:23 Caller He is alcoholic.

1:28:25 Adam There you go.

1:28:25 Caller There was no abuse involved.

1:28:26 Adam Well, you just...

1:28:28 Drew I don't sweat the small stuff.

1:28:29 Adam Peel an Erin like an onion. Yeah. You know, if Erin was like a test pilot, she'd make a horrible test pilot. They'd lay in the plane and want to know its characteristics, and she'd say, a little shimmy on takeoff and tail section blow off. That's right. That's right. Oh, yeah. Erin, you got a lot of stuff going on here, sweetness, and all stuff that you should talk about within the safe confines of your therapist's office.

1:29:02 Drew You gotta... Just like Adam's gotta talk about his masturbatory habits.

1:29:07 Adam Masturbatory? What habits? I've gone cold jerky for the last...

1:29:12 Drew And I know that must be painful.

1:29:13 Adam I say five days, but I swear to God, it's been 105 days. I swear to Christ.

1:29:18 Drew Aren't those painful feelings the one you want to take to the therapist's office?

1:29:23 Caller Oh, I gotta go tomorrow.

1:29:24 Drew Okay.

1:29:25 Adam No. Yeah. You know the last time I masturbated? Thursday night.

1:29:30 Drew Holy humanity.

1:29:32 Adam Technically Friday morning. I mean, it was late Thursday. Not the Thursday coming up.

1:29:39 Caller Last Thursday.

1:29:40 Adam Not two days from now. That's not the last time I masturbated. Two days from now?

1:29:45 Drew Five days before.

1:29:46 Adam Five days before today. You understand? At 12, actually at about 1:13 a.m. this evening, I will be celebrating my five day anniversary of not masturbating. You know what kind of run that is?

1:30:05 Drew Yeah.

1:30:06 Adam Not since I was-

1:30:06 Drew We're going to give you a five day cake.

1:30:08 Adam In a coma from that moped accident I suffered in the seventh grade.

1:30:13 Drew We're going to give you a chip, a five day chip, and a cake.

1:30:16 Adam Yeah. I hope that cake's got a hole in it. I like pie, by the way. No, I don't have to bring this up at the therapist.

1:30:26 Drew Well, she does. She absolutely, categorically must. She is in a log jam until she does that.

1:30:32 Adam That's right. Speaking of log jam, there will be a log jam 99 going on.

1:30:39 Drew You wanted to do that.

1:30:39 Adam In my downstairs bathroom tonight. What? Oh, yeah.

1:30:42 Drew Why did you have to bring that up?

1:30:45 Adam I mean, I'm going at it. That's all I'll say.

1:30:47 Drew I see.

1:30:47 Caller I see.

1:30:48 Adam Now, what about this?

1:30:49 Drew Just take the call. Okay.

1:30:50 Adam All right. I'm getting excited. I may leave the show early.

1:30:54 Drew Ricky, what's going on?

1:30:55 Caller I just want to say the main show is awesome.

1:30:57 Adam All right. That's right. Thank you.

1:30:59 Caller Yeah. Okay. I do this thing with my friends and stuff. I like a school dance and a party where we pass each other out.

1:31:08 Drew You take a deep breath and you grab each other from behind?

1:31:11 Caller Well, we choke each other.

1:31:13 Drew You choke each other?

1:31:15 Caller Yeah.

1:31:15 Adam You do that. But don't you hyperventilate first and then they...

1:31:20 Drew You grab each other around the neck?

1:31:21 Caller Yeah. You choke yourself, but then your friend pushes your hands up. And also, like, you can't really breathe.

1:31:29 Adam That's good. So you cut the oxygen off your brain? Is that how that works?

1:31:33 Drew Eric, Ricky, this is really dangerous. I mean, really dangerous.

1:31:37 Caller Oh.

1:31:38 Drew Yeah. You can cause a stroke doing that without even knowing it.

1:31:42 Caller Oh, you can?

1:31:42 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:31:43 Caller Okay, because...

1:31:43 Drew You don't grab the neck, okay?

1:31:46 Caller Okay, because when people pass out, they also, like, twitch and twerp.

1:31:49 Drew That's called a seizure.

1:31:51 Caller Oh, okay.

1:31:51 Drew It's hypoxic seizure.

1:31:53 Adam Yeah.

1:31:54 Drew It's serious stuff.

1:31:55 Adam I don't do that anymore, Ricky.

1:31:56 Drew Somebody's not going to wake up from that or wake up not moving one side of their body.

1:31:59 Adam Well, they'll wake up dead is what they'll do. Tracy? Tracy?

1:32:05 Caller Hello?

1:32:06 Adam Oh, you're 13? You've never had a boyfriend?

1:32:08 Caller No.

1:32:09 Adam How can you get one? You've never kissed a boy?

1:32:12 Drew You're 13.

1:32:12 Adam You're 13.

1:32:13 Drew Relax.

1:32:13 Adam They have cooties.

1:32:14 Drew Relax.

1:32:15 Caller No.

1:32:16 Drew It's going to be okay.

1:32:16 Adam You're fine.

1:32:17 Caller Yeah.

1:32:18 Drew Don't be such a hurry.

1:32:18 Adam I'm sorry you've been on hold for so long, but I just saw you. Drew didn't want to talk to you.

1:32:23 Drew Don't be in such a hurry.

1:32:24 Adam Sweetheart, I'm telling you, every day you wait is a day in the bank. Your husband will thank you one day.

1:32:30 Caller Okay.

1:32:31 Adam Don't rush. Don't worry. It'll all just come to you. And you don't have to worry about kissing a guy. The guy will kiss you. You just hold still.

1:32:39 Caller Okay. All right.

1:32:41 Adam God bless you. Drew, I'm leaving.

1:32:43 Drew Going to break.

1:32:43 Adam No, I'm going home.

1:32:44 Drew No, you're doing this.

1:32:45 Adam Oh, I am?

1:32:47 Drew I know your hand's very anxious to get to the reunion.

1:32:50 Adam You understand I already set the masturbatory clock. I'm now going to shoot my WAD Fort Box from my house. I already set the timer. Quick.

1:32:57 Drew Let's go. Break.

1:32:58 Adam All right. Take a break.

1:32:59 Caller I feel so liquidy.

1:33:01 Caller Really?

1:33:02 Caller You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, I'll be right back.

1:33:17 Caller Radio that keeps you up at night. It's Loveline only on WEBN.

1:33:31 Drew And well, here we are. It's Dr. Drew and other Loveline in the can. I want to thank everyone for participating in the show. Anderson, Lisa, and thank you for helping us so much this evening. My illustrious nefarious partner is racing off to a meeting, a appointment with destiny. His reunion with his faithful hand. I just to see him start up here. He couldn't wait to get out of here. I mean it. Do you see that, Ann? Yeah, he's running out to his car. It kind of scared me. Well, in any event, and in homage of Adam and good luck, sir, and I hope your hand is delighted with the reunion. I'm glad to hear that everything's going well. And in Urana, we will say mahalo.

1:34:11 Caller This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station.

1:34:22 Caller Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel.

1:34:24 Caller Now, please listen to this station longer.

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Tuesday, August 31, 1999