Episode 1000754887723

1:22 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

1:25 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

1:29 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:33 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:35 Voiceover Loveline.

1:37 Voiceover It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number, 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew's a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. I got quite a pus on tonight.

1:51 Drew We've been here for many hours, you and I.

1:53 Adam That's right. We got here about 7.30.

1:56 Drew It's hard to leave at 10 o'clock.

1:57 Adam Did a little hair, a little makeup, a little wardrobe, and did a little promo for the fabulous Frasier Show, which is on the television, they tell me. I just, a smart show. Well written, that Frasier. I have no interest in it.

2:13 Drew I like it, though. I like it.

2:15 Adam Yeah, it's well written. I just have no interest in it. I don't know why. It doesn't feel real.

2:20 Drew Yeah.

2:21 Adam But he has an amazing door on his condominium.

2:25 Drew There we go.

2:26 Adam I love that door.

2:26 Drew And a condominium that, even you, a literal, what do you?

2:29 Adam Literally.

2:30 Drew Literally.

2:30 Adam A millionaire.

2:31 Drew He could not afford that condominium. No.

2:33 Adam Not even close. No, that's what I love about TV. All right, we will hop on the phones. No guests tonight, just the love that the two hosts flying between each other, Bad Religion. I'm guessing Greg Graffin is gonna be in here tomorrow night. Robbie Gordon, the race car driver on Wednesday and then Art and possibly some other folks from Everclear will be in here on Thursday. Amanda?

2:57 Yes?

2:58 Adam You're 16?

2:59 Caller Yep.

2:59 Drew What's up?

3:01 Caller Well, I have this like obsession with phone sex. Like I call lines and I have it a lot. And I was just wondering like, is that gonna mess me up in the head or anything?

3:13 Adam You call phone sex lines? How much are those things a minute?

3:18 Caller For one minute it's free.

3:19 Drew They come in sort of party lines.

3:20 Adam One minute's for you? Oh, for women?

3:22 Caller Yeah, it's free.

3:23 Adam Yeah, it was so funny. I was actually sitting around the Man Show today having a discussion with my partner, the Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, about phone sex, because we were writing something on it. And I was perusing one of these magazines. And it is obviously big business, because if you pick up a hustler and look at, there's literally hundreds of ads for phone sex in these things. And I was thinking to myself, I wonder if a chick has ever called these. I mean, I know it's happened, but women do not use these things. And then when we do find one that does use one, she goes for free. It's always a ladies night on the phone sex lines. So you call these party ones in, and will there be more than one guy on the line with you?

4:10 Caller No, what you do is you go through people's bios, which is a little message about themselves, and you pick who you want to talk to, and you send messages back and forth, and then you can connect.

4:20 Drew Is it an email thing? Is it a computer hookup?

4:25 Caller I think so.

4:27 Adam Yeah, but you don't use a computer. How does it work? How many bios might you listen to before you decide on one?

4:32 Drew You listen to the bios. I see.

4:36 Caller You go through all of them, and then you go back and you pick and choose.

4:39 Adam How many bios might you listen to, you idiot, when you phone in?

4:44 Caller Like 50.

4:45 Adam 50 bios. And they're all 30 seconds long or 20 seconds long?

4:50 Caller 30 seconds.

4:50 Adam 30 seconds. And what will they say? The kind of guy they are, what they look like?

4:55 Caller Yep.

4:55 Adam And it's all guys you're interested in?

4:58 Caller Usually.

4:59 Adam And then you'll talk to the guy you're most interested in?

5:03 Caller Uh-huh.

5:04 Adam And how do you connect with him?

5:07 Caller You sent a message saying, like, hello, sexy, this is Shiloh, and I was just wondering what you want to talk about tonight.

5:13 Drew Shiloh.

5:14 Caller Shiloh.

5:14 Adam Nobody named Gertrude on that line.

5:17 Drew Not even Amanda.

5:19 Adam So you'll, and then that person will, you'll talk to that person, that person will call you back or how do you guys hook up?

5:25 Caller The line connects you and you can talk to them.

5:28 Adam I see.

5:29 Drew And what are you getting out of this? What does it do for you? I don't know.

5:32 Caller I just, I think I like it when guys talk dirty to me. It excites me.

5:37 Adam You know why?

5:38 Caller Why?

5:38 Adam Because you've been naughty.

5:40 Caller Oh, Adam.

5:41 Adam Yeah. I know how to talk to the ladies, especially the teens. And so do you masturbate?

5:48 Caller No.

5:48 Adam No. But.

5:49 Caller I mean, I orgasm but I don't have to touch myself.

5:51 Adam Oh my God. And I'm supposing the guys are masturbating, right?

5:57 Caller I assume so.

5:58 Adam And do they, it's pretty much just sex talk? And do they get a little dominant with their talk?

6:06 Caller No.

6:06 Adam It's just sex talk?

6:07 Caller Yeah.

6:08 Adam All right. So what happened to you?

6:11 Caller I was molested by my father when I was 12.

6:13 Adam Oh, well, there you go.

6:15 Drew There it is. So this behavior is not going to mess you up. It just sustains what's already been messed up.

6:21 Caller Yeah.

6:21 Adam Right.

6:22 Caller Well, I mean, I've been in counseling.

6:24 Drew This is the thing that becomes stripper next. Right.

6:27 Caller I would never be a stripper.

6:28 Drew I know, but it's that impulse to control man.

6:30 Adam There's a little weight. Who knows? Hey, Amanda? You have to get a little help for what your dad did to you.

6:37 Drew She said she's been in therapy.

6:38 Caller I've been in therapy since it happened.

6:40 Adam I see.

6:41 Drew All right. Talk to the therapist about this behavior.

6:43 Adam What's your therapist say about the phone sex?

6:46 Caller I haven't talked to him about it.

6:47 Drew You don't have to be ashamed of it. Go ahead and talk about it. It would be routine kinds of a response to what your history has been.

6:55 Adam Michelle?

6:56 Caller Yeah.

6:56 Adam I wonder if that ever works in. Yeah, baby. I got eight inches of throbbing man meat for you. Were you ever molested by your dad? Good. Good. That means you're extra receptive to my sexual advances. I think that was me.

7:17 Drew Yeah. Who was that?

7:18 Adam I don't know. Who do I have orgasm with, Anderson? Oh, Juliet from Penthouse. That's right. She was head of the year, I think. Michelle?

7:27 Guest Yeah.

7:28 Adam You're 16. What's up?

7:29 Guest Yeah. I wanted to know. My boyfriend has three piercings on the head of his penis.

7:34 Adam Three?

7:35 Guest Yeah.

7:35 Drew He wasn't okay with just one. He had to get three in there.

7:38 Guest Right.

7:40 Guest Well, him and I want to know what's the best protection for sex.

7:44 Adam You have to use a truck inner tube now with three.

7:46 Drew Are you talking about for protection against pregnancy?

7:49 Guest Well, I tried the pill, but I want something more for diseases and stuff.

7:54 Drew Then condom, obviously. There are specially tipped condoms for the pierced males.

8:01 Adam This guy doesn't harbor any diseases. He only has three penis piercings. I'm sure he's not sexually active.

8:07 Drew You might get tetanus from this guy.

8:09 Guest Well, he does them all himself.

8:11 Drew That makes it much better.

8:13 Adam Oh, my God.

8:15 Drew That speaks volumes about your boyfriend.

8:17 Adam Michelle, this guy should be institutionalized.

8:21 Drew I mean, this guy's got some...

8:22 Adam What happened to him?

8:23 Drew He's been institutionalized.

8:24 Adam Who held him down and did what to him?

8:27 Guest I don't really know his life story.

8:28 Guest We don't really go into that.

8:29 Adam Yeah. Good. How old is he?

8:32 Guest He's 25.

8:33 Adam 25. And you're 16.

8:35 Guest Yeah.

8:35 Adam Fantabulous. Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.

8:38 Guest Well, at least it's not 40.

8:39 Adam Hey, how much do you hate your dad?

8:42 Guest No, I love my dad.

8:43 Adam You love him? Why do you disgrace him by this, then?

8:47 Guest My dad doesn't know.

8:48 Adam Oh, please. He knows. No, he doesn't. Believe me. He can feel it. Each time that guy takes that earring-laden member and puts it inside of you, he dies just a little bit.

8:59 Caller He doesn't know anything. He hasn't seen me since I was 12.

9:03 Drew I love my dad.

9:03 Adam There we go. You theoretically love him very much. Had you known him, you'd probably love him, right?

9:08 Guest I mean, well, I remember him from like when I was a kid.

9:11 Adam All right. Good. Now, everyone's daddy. Fantastic.

9:15 Caller No, it's not really like that.

9:16 Adam Oh, please. You're going out with a 25-year-old with an anchor hanging from the end of his Johnson. Come on, goofball. I guarantee you this guy's a world-class a-hole.

9:26 Drew Oh, yeah.

9:27 Adam He's 25. He's banging on a 16-year-old. He has self-induced penis piercings. Come on, Michelle. You know better than that.

9:36 Guest But he's nice to me.

9:37 Adam All right. Listen, you get a dog. For Christ's sake, a dog will be nice to you.

9:42 Guest He's like the first guy that's been nice to me, and we get along really good.

9:46 Adam All right. Yeah, you got plenty not to talk about. Idiot. The guy's an idiot. He's 25. What's he do for a living? Video store? Or is he a roadie?

9:56 Guest He doesn't work.

9:57 Adam Okay. If he did work, would he work at a video store?

10:00 Guest No, he says he's an artist.

10:02 Adam No. Oh, boy. Great. Hey, what does he do for money?

10:07 Guest Well, he has his grandpa or something left him a bunch of money.

10:10 Adam Fantastic. All right, Michelle, I think you could do better. This guy's a criminal. He is.

10:16 Drew He is a criminal. That's right.

10:17 Adam He's having sex with a minor.

10:19 Guest But isn't statutory rape only if you're under 14 or something?

10:22 Drew No. It depends on the state you're in. What state are you in?

10:25 Guest California.

10:26 Adam This is rape. This is good old-fashioned rape. The kind of rape that your grandpa would talk about back in the day. All right, Michelle, we wish you'd dump him. We hope you don't get pregnant.

10:40 Drew There are specially equipped condoms you can get from piercing institutions.

10:43 Adam As far as disease goes, I don't know. This guy is such a jewel. I don't know what he could harbor. All right, Michelle, enjoy your life. There you go. Brandy.

10:55 Yes.

10:55 Adam What's up? You're 25.

10:57 Caller Yes. I wanted to ask you why if tum is made up of fructose, which is sugar, why is it salty?

11:06 Adam Who said it was made up of fructose?

11:07 Drew Who told you that?

11:11 Adam Jesus. How much weed do you smoke?

11:14 Drew Or how much tobacco?

11:17 Caller What's it made up of then?

11:18 Drew Well, the sperm are protein, right?

11:21 Caller He said it's not made up of fructose.

11:23 Drew Brandy, the sperm itself is protein. Wait, leave her on here.

11:26 Adam All right.

11:27 Right?

11:29 Drew The slippery stuff is mucopolysaccharide.

11:31 Caller Get the hell out.

11:34 Adam Jesus Christ. Hey, Brandy. All right, hold on. Forget about what's in the sperm.

11:40 Drew Have you ever tasted blood, Brandy?

11:42 Caller Did I ever taste what?

11:43 Drew Have you ever tasted blood? Have you ever licked a little scraper? All right, doesn't that taste salty?

11:48 Caller No.

11:49 Adam No?

11:49 Caller No.

11:50 Adam All right, listen, your chain smoking has deadened your taste buds. You don't have any kids, do you?

11:56 Caller Yes, I do.

11:58 Adam How many?

11:59 Caller One.

12:00 Adam Thank God. All right. Where's daddy?

12:03 Caller He's right here.

12:04 Adam Really? Which daddy? Not biological daddy.

12:09 Caller No, it's my daughter's dad.

12:11 Adam Yeah. Your daughter's dad.

12:12 Caller Are you asking where my dad is or where my daughter's dad is?

12:15 Adam Where's your daughter's dad?

12:16 Caller Right here.

12:16 Adam Really? Do you want to talk to him? What branch of construction is he in?

12:21 Guest What?

12:23 Adam What's he do for a living?

12:25 Caller He's a street sweeper.

12:27 Adam There you go. Do they have street sweepers anymore? I thought this was a made up job. He drives one of the street cleaners?

12:36 Caller Well, hey, I have a medical book here that says that semen is made of fructose.

12:41 Adam No.

12:42 Drew What is the name of this medical book?

12:44 Caller What's the name of the medical book?

12:45 Adam That's a penthouse form.

12:46 Right.

12:48 Caller It's a medical encyclopedia.

12:50 Adam No. It's not fructose.

12:52 Caller He said it's made up of protein.

12:53 Drew Well, it's protein and it's saline. It's like plasma basically.

12:59 Adam What in your body? You don't have fructose in your body, do you? You don't produce fructose.

13:03 Drew Well, the mucopolysaccharides may have some fructose, but that's nothing.

13:08 Adam All right. Well, there's some of that in semen.

13:10 Drew Yeah.

13:10 Adam But it's not the body of it.

13:13 Drew No. No.

13:13 Adam All right. Rob?

13:15 Yeah.

13:16 Adam You're 21.

13:17 Caller Yeah.

13:17 Adam What's up?

13:18 Caller My girlfriend has an obsession with biting.

13:21 Adam All right.

13:22 Caller I was just wondering if that was a problem.

13:24 Adam Where she bites you?

13:25 Drew She hurts you.

13:26 Caller Everywhere. Anywhere and everywhere.

13:28 Adam Do you not like it?

13:30 Caller Well, at first it's okay, but then she tends to bite real hard and it hurts and it leaves bruises.

13:37 Adam Can you whack her in the back of the head when she does it?

13:41 Caller Well, yeah. All right.

13:42 Drew She'll stop then.

13:43 Adam There you go.

13:43 Caller It doesn't really stop it though.

13:46 Adam Yes, it will. Whack someone hard enough on the back of the head they stop biting you. All right. Tell her you don't like it.

13:55 Screwball.

13:57 Adam All right. Corey.

13:59 Guest Yes.

14:00 Adam What's up? You're 25.

14:01 Caller Yes.

14:03 Guest I guess since I was 18, I've had no sex drive, but I do have sex and afterwards I generally don't feel good. I feel like really nauseous and I'll get like, I don't know, just feel gross.

14:16 Drew What can you tell us? Feels gross. Yeah. Help us understand where does it come from?

14:20 Adam Where does that come from?

14:21 Caller Where does it come from?

14:22 Guest I don't know, because it's been since I was 18 and anything, all the traumatic things that have happened to me have happened to me since I was 18.

14:31 Adam Not before you were 18?

14:33 Guest No, I mean, just one of the male guys masturbating at me. You know, that happens to everybody, but...

14:39 Adam I had to dodge six guys whacking off on my way to work.

14:42 Drew What are you talking about, Corey?

14:44 Adam Guys masturbating at you.

14:45 Drew What is that?

14:46 Guest No, I mean, just random guys exposing them. I mean, I don't know, I've talked to a bunch of my friends and we all have had these similar experiences, but nothing that actually was...

14:55 Drew Where do you live?

14:57 Guest This was all over, this was in this country, this was in other countries. In fact, on my 16th birthday, there was a guy masturbating in the woods at the picnic.

15:05 Drew Oh my God.

15:06 Adam Well, that was your grandfather.

15:08 Guest Just two weeks ago, I got a guy arrested for masturbating on me in public.

15:11 Adam Hey, Corey.

15:13 Guest Yes.

15:13 Adam I'd like to meet you. You must be some good-looking.

15:16 Guest No, I don't. I mean...

15:18 Adam Really?

15:19 Guest I don't think so because one time it was like we were on a bus and go into a soccer game. We look out and the guy in his sunroof looked grinning up at us. No, it just was like this recurring event in my life, but I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that I get nauseous after I have sex.

15:37 Adam Well, okay. Let's explore your past a little bit then.

15:41 Guest Okay.

15:42 Adam So, what happened? Anything bad happened to you besides everyone jacking off around you?

15:46 Guest No, I can't. That's the thing.

15:48 Adam Hold on, Drew. I'm going to squeeze one off. I got a wild urge. Corrie brought it out. Corrie, just keep talking, baby. Let me open the sunroof. Yeah, nothing happened. You love your dad. No one ever raped you?

16:01 Guest No. Well, no. I mean, I was sexually assaulted like three years ago, but that was after me. This is well after.

16:11 Adam What happened with the sexual assault? And why are you such a semen magnet?

16:14 Drew Such a victim, yeah.

16:15 Guest I don't know. I just-

16:16 Adam What happened with the sexual assault?

16:19 Guest That was out of this country. I was in the Peace Corps, and it just- my neighbor assaulted me, and it took me a long time to kind of get over that.

16:29 Drew Have you go through long periods of time where you were super, super up and weren't sleeping a lot and really upbeat, and then all of a sudden came on a downswing?

16:35 Guest Well, after I left Peace Corps, that's- the diagnosis was post-traumatic stress disorder.

16:41 Drew From what? From what?

16:42 Adam From the rape?

16:43 Guest From the- from- yeah, from that and just the whole experience of Peace Corps. But that-

16:48 Adam Jesus. What the hell? So- what's so disturbing about Peace Corps?

16:52 Guest Oh, I don't- my- just my particular experience ended up being kind of rough.

16:57 Adam because of the rape?

16:59 Guest No, because- partially because of that and I just kept- I was continually robbed and it was just- I just had extreme culture shock, I think, is what it-

17:10 Adam Where'd you go?

17:11 Guest I was in the Dominican Republic.

17:12 Adam Well, there you go.

17:13 Please.

17:15 Guest But now I'm looking, you know, like in retrospect, I had a really good time, but the real-

17:19 Adam Well, I'd want to go to like Cannes or somewhere in- Somewhere in Western Europe, perhaps. Yeah. Somewhere with a lovely Milan or something like that. Do they have any Peace Corps there?

17:32 Guest No, fortunately.

17:33 Adam Here's the catch-22 of Peace Corps. You got to go to places where they need you.

17:37 Guest Yeah, exactly.

17:38 Adam And sometimes when people need you, they really need you. They need you to hold still so they can rape you, they need to rob you, they need you.

17:46 Guest No, but that, I mean, all these issues were before that. I mean, this, I went into, I think about...

17:53 Adam Okay. Why did you go into the Peace Corps?

17:57 Guest Because I wanted to travel.

17:59 Adam Okay. Where's your dad? Do you love him?

18:01 Drew I don't believe you. Why did you join the Peace Corps?

18:02 Caller Yeah.

18:05 Guest Well, I have a degree in biology and there just wasn't a job market for biology.

18:09 Adam Okay.

18:09 Guest So, I mean, it was job-admitting.

18:10 Adam All right, fine. Do you love your dad?

18:12 Guest I do love my dad, yeah.

18:14 Adam He was good to you?

18:16 Guest He wasn't really around. Oh, and he was around every other weekend.

18:20 Adam I see.

18:20 Guest But he's a minimally functional alcoholic.

18:24 Adam Oh, okay.

18:25 Guest All right. I mean, he was a good dad other than that.

18:28 Drew Is it possible he did something to you? You just don't remember it?

18:31 Guest I don't think so. I mean, I've been racking my brain. No. I mean, despite the alcohol, he's been a really affectionate and he's always been really supportive. My mom as well.

18:46 Drew But there's no telling what he might have done one time when he was really intoxicated.

18:50 Adam Yeah. Here's how he's important. I'm going to the Dominican Republic to get raped. All right.

18:55 Drew Enjoy.

18:55 Adam Enjoy. I don't know, Corey. The I don't know. You got to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist trying to get the bottom of this. You're getting physically ill by sex. That usually means something. I mean, here's what I would guess.

19:10 Drew She needs to be looked at gynecologically first. I'm sure that's something triggering that.

19:14 Adam Anybody who has a physical reaction to sex that way, especially a woman getting ill, I would assume that somebody did something to her when she was three years old and she doesn't remember it.

19:24 Drew And that she has no libido at all, she says.

19:26 Adam Right. Brian.

19:28 Yeah.

19:29 Adam You're 29 years old. What's up?

19:33 Caller I just want to know, how do you tell if you're sexual compulsive or not?

19:37 Drew If you can't stop doing things you want to stop doing.

19:40 Caller Like masturbating?

19:41 Drew That's one of them things.

19:42 Caller Yeah.

19:43 Adam What are you good for a day?

19:45 Caller Two to three times.

19:46 Adam Yeah. Not bad.

19:48 Caller Yeah.

19:49 Adam I call that too much of a problem.

19:51 Caller Yeah.

19:51 Adam That's a little light. You like to be doing it more is what you say?

19:56 Caller Not really.

19:57 Adam What are you masturbating to?

20:00 Caller I don't know. Just girls having sex, pornography again.

20:03 Adam Let me write this. What's the last word? Sex? Sex. I see. Yeah.

20:12 Caller I guess I got kind of a fetish.

20:13 Adam Got to try that.

20:15 Drew Fetish about what?

20:16 Caller Well, I guess what my fans says about it is mostly oral sex.

20:20 Adam Yeah.

20:20 I don't know.

20:21 Adam What about that?

20:22 Oral sex.

20:24 Adam All right. Keep going.

20:27 Uh, well.

20:28 Adam Yeah. Nothing wrong with oral sex. Yeah. Unless you're fancising about performing it on someone else and you got a real problem.

20:35 Drew Are you a virgin?

20:36 Drew Are you a virgin?

20:38 Drew He's 29.

20:39 Adam How many gals you been with?

20:41 Caller Four.

20:42 Adam Four.

20:44 Caller I've never had a girlfriend though before.

20:47 Adam Yeah. Are you a little, what girls call creepy?

20:52 Caller Uh, that's the impression I get.

20:54 Adam Yeah. You kind of weird them out a little? Yeah.

20:57 Caller That's about right.

20:58 Adam You scare them off? Yeah.

21:00 Caller I'm a good looking guy. Are you? Yeah. But then when I talk to them, they get scared off by me.

21:05 Adam You know, I gotta be honest with you, Brian. There's a lot of guys who are good looking. I mean, physically, everything's in place. They're not fat. They're tall. They have, you know, pretty solid features. Don't get an ounce of tail. Because women aren't, they're not mature that way. Whereas men are. We see a good looking, I mean, you know what I mean? Drew, hold on for a second. That is the catch of a lifetime for us. Some chick, no, yeah, yeah, right.

21:36 Drew An easy pickin.

21:37 Adam Tall female with a nice body, who has good bone structure, she's attractive and everything. And just a little nutty, ego damage, low self-esteem. How many guys would be on top of that? Girls, they see a guy like Brian, they see he's like, you know, attractive. Maybe they come across the bar and it's like, uh-uh, that's it, I'm getting out of here. Yeah, he's giving me the creeps. I'm just looking at his eyes. I'm not going home with him. He's gonna kill me. I mean, think about it. Women gotta worry about that. That's why women are attracted. That's actually why, this is my whole theory about women, why celebrities get so much tail, except for me and you. Jesus Christ. Here's why. Because they think they know you and you're safe.

22:23 Drew Right.

22:24 Adam If they know you, he's a good guy, I've seen him on TV, I've seen him interact, he's funny, he's whatever. He's got some money, fine, he's good, he's safe. Brian, I go home, he's going to cut me. He's going to take a beer bottle and bust it over the refrigerator and cut my throat with it. And bury me in the underpinning of the house. Brian? Yeah. You ever buried someone in the underpinning of a house? No.

22:49 Never thought of it.

22:50 Adam I bet you liked it. All right, so Brian, listen. What's up with you? We got to get you to act normal, so chicks dig you.

22:57 I guess I just get kind of panicky.

22:59 Adam Right.

23:00 Caller Anxious.

23:00 Drew What do you do for a living?

23:02 Caller Well, I work nighttime security guard and I go to college in the daytime, so I don't sleep much.

23:07 Adam I see. Hey, Brian, you know what you got to do? Yeah. Here's your key to chicks. Okay. A, don't talk too much. You'll give yourself away immediately. B, find a bunch of stuff that turns you on and do it, and they'll find you. I know it sounds cliche. I mean, you're going to have to pursue them a little bit.

23:26 Drew What do you mean by sexual compulsive? You better clarify what you mean by things that turn you on.

23:29 Adam Yeah. I know whacking is a hobby. You can't turn it into a career. But what I'm saying is, you got to participate in life. What are your hobbies? You like music?

23:38 Caller Music, reading, sports.

23:41 Adam All right. Go to the college. Sign up for everything you can sign up for that has nothing to do with that college. And just get your life going. You know what's weird though about women? Women, a lot of them, are attracted to weird guys. Artsy weird guys.

23:58 Drew Oh yeah.

23:58 Adam But not weird weird guys.

23:59 Drew Right, right. Mystery guys.

24:01 Adam Artsy weird guys are really either one of two guys. Nerds or homos who have cultivated the artsy thing. You know what I mean? And women are so stupid they buy right into it.

24:13 Drew It's a mystery.

24:14 Adam Yeah, but listen, all you dumb broads out there that are into the artsy guys, you know what these guys are? They're the guys whose ass I used to kick in high school who almost went gay, but now they've won artsy. They shave their head, they grow a goatee, they sulk a little bit. They don't drive a new car. They drive like a 66 Falcon or something. They cultivate some look. They wear some boots with a buckle on it or something and a leather jacket. Sometimes they go for that like rockabilly look or something. They cultivate a look and you idiots buy right into it. But these guys are just the wusses from the past cultivating a new look. They're just as weird as guys like Brian, but they're not weird weird, they're wussy weird. So what have we learned, Drew?

24:59 Drew I'm not sure we learned anything. I don't know. Women and men are different.

25:01 Adam That's right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Willie. Willie's 21. He passes out when girlfriend gives him oral sex. Want to know if that's normal.

25:50 Drew Want to share that story?

25:51 Adam Yeah, I think I will. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Bad Religion Tomorrow Night, followed by Robbie Gordon, Race Car Driver, and then Everclear on Thursday. As I said at the top of the show, Drew and myself did a promo for Frasier, the new, I don't know, for the season finale of Frasier. And we're glad to do it. They treated us right. Everything was fine. We're sitting around between takes, and we're saying, talking about the different cast members on Frasier. And somebody said, I think it was me, what's the name of the actor who plays Frasier's dad, the retired cop, walks with a limp, got shot in the hip. He's Frasier, Niles' dad. He's in every episode, sits on that old chair. What is the name of that actor? He's been in a hundred movies. I've seen him a thousand times. Can't remember the guy's name. I'm thinking of myself, this is like an Irish name.

26:44 Drew We went around about it, around, around, around.

26:45 Adam We went around about it, and the guys who were in, from Frasier, were a little bit embarrassed that they couldn't remember the guy's name because that's where they work.

26:54 Drew They're from NBC.

26:55 Adam They're from NBC, and they sort of knew it, but it sort of escaped them. Everyone said, what is this guy's name? I can't remember. They were embarrassed about it. So everyone forgot about it, and we kept filming. Half hour later, I got a big package sent to me, and told my assistant to go open it out in the parking lot, because you see this face, Drew? That's the cash register, buddy. I don't need a rusty finish nail in it. You know what I'm saying? Point is, is in that was a note, bottle of wine, a issue of Bear Magazine for the big fat, hairy gay men who like to love each other too much, which I find repugnant. But that and a lovely note along with the bottle of wine, which is from, and I'll give the guy the plug because why not? He sent me a bottle of booze. Anyway, he works for a place www.winabatchelorparty.com. I have no idea what it is, but apparently you can win a bachelor party on winabatchelorparty.com.

28:00 Drew Make sure you log on to drdrew.com.

28:02 Adam No, don't worry about that.

28:02 Drew Should you log on to that one?

28:04 Adam WinABatchelorParty. The point is, is I was reading down the letter. It was a very nice letter. Said they loved the show and all that kind of stuff. And then said, respectfully yours, John Mahoney. And I thought to myself, John Mahoney. Wait a minute. Remember that name of the actor we're trying to figure out an hour earlier and everyone was racking their brains? His name was John Mahoney. That's the actor's name. And I checked it with Anderson, who knows about these things, and I don't know, Anne knew it, or somebody in there knew it. The point is, is the name of the actor's name we couldn't figure out, John Mahoney, on the card that was sent to me earlier that day.

28:44 Drew Crap like that happens to you all the time.

28:46 Adam How often is it that you're straining for a name, pow, there's the name. Isn't that weird? That is bizarre. One other quick weird one with a name, and then we'll get right back to it. I said, I saw a picture. Is that my friend Mark Drotman's house? He showed me a picture. Showed me a picture of a woman and a guy. Woman with the arm around the guy. And I said, this woman, she looks just like Janis Joplin. And he said, well believe me, she's no Janis Joplin. And I pointed to the guy who's next door with the arm around her and I said, and he's no Bobby McGee. Because that was Janis Joplin's biggest song was Me and Bobby McGee. Name of the guy who I pointed at? Bobby McGee. How often do you point at a picture of a stranger who you've never seen before and give me his first and last name?

29:39 Drew What did your friend say? He was like, no, no, actually.

29:41 Adam Actually, his name is Bobby McGee. I said he was no Bobby McGee, but it turns out Bobby McGee was the guy's name. All right, so here we go. Any other names we can't think of? Maybe we'll get another bottle of wine. We'll get a letter with his name on it. Willie, you're 21. What's up?

29:58 Caller Yeah, when my girlfriend gives me head, I kind of pass out.

30:02 Adam Right.

30:03 Drew You actually pass out?

30:04 Caller Yes.

30:05 Drew Are you standing up?

30:06 Caller No, she don't like it that way.

30:09 Adam She don't like it that way?

30:10 Yeah, she feels uncomfortable.

30:12 Drew If you're standing up?

30:13 Caller Yeah.

30:13 Drew You're lying down?

30:15 Adam Yeah. Are you jumping up and down or you're just holding still when you stand up?

30:18 Caller No, we tried it once, you know, she didn't like it.

30:22 Drew You're lying down and you suddenly lose consciousness?

30:25 Caller Yeah.

30:26 Adam She's sucking the life right out of you.

30:29 Drew Do you have any medical problems?

30:30 Caller No.

30:31 Drew Do you take any medications?

30:32 Caller No.

30:32 Drew Anything like this ever happened to you before in any other context?

30:36 Caller No, not really. I mean, I drink too and when I even drink, I pass out, so.

30:44 Drew That would be yes, then this happens in other.

30:46 Caller Yeah.

30:47 Drew Do you want to recreate that?

30:48 Adam The Loveline recreation?

30:49 Drew Go ahead. Does this ever happen to you in any other context?

30:54 Adam No. No, though I do drink. No, and I pass out.

30:59 Drew While I drink, I pass out.

31:02 Adam So Willie?

31:03 Caller Yeah.

31:03 Adam Maybe it does happen to you in other times, like when you're drinking, right?

31:06 Caller Well, it also happens to me when I'm not drinking.

31:11 Drew So when else does it happen to you?

31:14 Caller That's about it, you know?

31:15 Drew It happens to you just when you're having oral sex.

31:17 Adam Oh, wait, wait. You say it also happens when you're not drinking.

31:20 Caller Yeah.

31:20 Adam That's when you're getting oral sex.

31:22 Drew Yeah.

31:23 Adam And no other time.

31:24 Drew No.

31:24 Adam Okay. Hold on. Okay, Willie? Yeah. I got to put you on hold for like 40 minutes, okay? It's important to punish the fools. Please. This guy's like the goddamn riddler. Oh, no. It happens other times. When? When I'm getting oral sex. I know. That's what we're... Okay. Idiot. And I hope he passes out.

31:46 Guest Hi, Dr. Drew and Adam.

31:47 Adam Hey, you're 19. What's up, Chipper?

31:49 Guest I love you guys.

31:51 Adam Well, we love you, too.

31:52 Guest I love you, Adam.

31:53 Guest He's great.

31:53 Adam Yeah?

31:54 Guest I saw you at Centennial Hall in Tucson when you came to the U of A.

31:58 Drew Oh, yeah, that was fun.

31:59 Guest Yeah.

32:00 Guest I got the tickets kind of late, so I was way the hell out, like, in the back.

32:03 Drew It wasn't that big. I mean, it wasn't such a big room that you couldn't, you know... It was a pretty...

32:07 Adam A couple thousand people.

32:08 Drew Yeah. Yeah.

32:08 Adam It's a nice place. I had a good time over there.

32:11 Caller Yeah, you should come back.

32:12 Adam No, no, no.

32:13 Caller This time I'll get better tickets.

32:14 Adam Not that good a time.

32:15 Drew They could invite us back. We'd come.

32:17 Adam Yeah. Drew would.

32:18 Drew You'd come too, wouldn't you?

32:19 That was fun.

32:20 Adam Listen, Drew, if a parking meter opened up and some nickels fell out, you'd get on the next plane, you idiot. Please. What do you want, Anne?

32:29 Guest Well, I was just calling for some advice about my boyfriend.

32:34 Drew We're listening.

32:35 Guest Okay. Well, he doesn't really live with me, but when he's in town, he stays with me, but he travels a lot, and he travels for his work, and so I was just wondering if it'd be worth it to stay with him since he's never in town.

32:48 Drew How old is he?

32:49 Guest He's 24.

32:51 Drew How often is he actually in town?

32:53 Guest Well, he's in town on average probably like two weeks out of the month.

32:57 Drew Half the time he's in town.

32:58 Adam That's fine. You don't like him that much though.

33:01 Guest Well, no, no, I really do love him.

33:02 Adam All right, well, you really, you really love him?

33:04 Drew He doesn't like her that much.

33:06 Guest Well, no, he does.

33:07 Guest It's just that he's keeping the job so he can save up money so he can move here and get his own place and get like a real job in town.

33:13 Adam So why would you even dream of breaking up with him?

33:17 Guest It's just that it's taking so long and he's trying to save the money.

33:20 Caller It's just that it's not going to save.

33:20 Adam Well, how often do you need to see a guy?

33:22 Guest Well, I really care for him and I miss him a lot.

33:25 Adam All right, you'd miss him more if you broke up, wouldn't you?

33:28 Caller Yeah.

33:29 Drew He's there half the time.

33:30 Guest Yeah, he's only here like maybe like one or two weeks tops out of the month.

33:34 Adam All right, that's still enough.

33:35 Guest And the phone bills are killing us.

33:36 Drew You know what? In 19, you can imagine that would be pretty frustrating.

33:39 Adam I'm going to light a fire, hold on.

33:41 Guest Oh, Adam?

33:42 Adam Yeah, wait a minute. You got to light the fire. Drew, get the light.

33:45 Drew All right, hold on.

33:46 Adam Hold on there, man. I got to light a fire. There's something coming out. Oh, Jesus, I'm going to hurt myself. I almost burned my ass off. Oh, Jesus. I got nothing. I'm sorry. I'm going to get something going later on. Even though I was trying to light a fire, Dan.

34:06 Drew Well, yeah, he almost lit himself on fire.

34:09 Adam Yeah.

34:10 Guest You're trying to light it with a lighter?

34:11 Adam With a match. No, I got a match. I'm old school.

34:14 Drew He literally almost caught himself.

34:16 Adam No, please.

34:17 Caller I think that works. I think my brother might bet his ass on fire.

34:19 Adam No. Wives tales. Hey, listen, Ann, you're very much in love with him. He loves you. He's in town a couple weeks out of the month. He's saving up money so he can move in and live there full time.

34:31 Guest Well, he's saving money so he can go play.

34:34 Adam Break up with him. Break up. Break up tomorrow. There you go. What am I supposed to do? Argue with her?

34:44 Drew No.

34:45 Adam She says how much she loves the guy.

34:47 Drew At 19, you've got to put it in that perspective. She's immature. She's not really...

34:50 Adam I understand, but the guy's in town a couple weeks out of the month.

34:54 Drew But at 19-year-old years, three weeks away.

34:57 Adam Nobody is planning on moving back.

35:01 Drew She can't abstract that way. She can't plan like 19-year-olds. It's all that exists to them, right?

35:06 Adam How insecure do you got to be? Claudia? Claudia?

35:10 Guest Yeah.

35:11 Adam You're 15?

35:12 Guest Yeah.

35:13 Adam What's up? You didn't mean to interrupt.

35:17 Guest Well, the thing is, I was sexually molested when I was young, about six years old.

35:24 Drew We got it. We picked up on it.

35:26 Adam Yeah.

35:27 Guest OK. And the thing is, I've had sexual contact with all three of my male cousins. Not exactly sex, but like oral and everything. And now my one Pacific cousin, we've done things, and now I sort of have feelings toward him. And I feel that I love him now. Because, I mean, we've been for a long time. He's my age, though.

35:53 I mean.

35:54 Adam Yeah.

35:55 Guest And I was wondering, is that because of what happened to me before or what?

36:00 Drew The whole situation developed because of what happened to you before.

36:04 Adam And what happened to you originally?

36:09 Guest Well, what do you mean when I was growing up?

36:11 Drew Who was that?

36:12 Guest He was the first cousin.

36:14 Adam Wow, what the?

36:15 Guest And so was the rest of them.

36:16 Adam OK, hold on, though. But you were with all three cousins, right?

36:21 Guest Yeah.

36:21 Drew And then another cousin was the one that abused you?

36:23 Adam Or was it one of those three?

36:25 Guest The first one, he was like seven years older than me. And then the other one was like two years younger than me.

36:33 Adam And how old were you at the time?

36:35 Guest Six. One of my oldest cousins, I was six.

36:39 All right.

36:41 Adam You were six and he was like thirteen.

36:45 Guest Yeah.

36:46 Adam And it still went on.

36:48 Guest It's still been going on now.

36:50 Drew With him.

36:51 Guest Yeah, whenever he comes back. Because he goes away for the summer and comes back. Wow. He's like got this power over me. Like I, you know, I tell him like, no, but it's like, I can't resist.

37:02 Drew That is the strangest part of him was right there.

37:04 Adam Yeah. And wait a minute. The oldest one is 22 now.

37:08 Guest He's 21.

37:09 Drew The one has been getting her since she was six.

37:13 Adam These are, whose side of the family is this?

37:16 Guest It's all on my dad's side.

37:18 Adam All on your dad's.

37:19 Guest Yeah.

37:21 Adam How's dad doing?

37:23 Guest Oh, my dad's fine. He doesn't know anything about this.

37:26 Drew Yeah, but we'll kind of get into it.

37:27 Adam You're right, Drew. I haven't done this in a while. But I hate to have to do this, but it really, sometimes a few innocent must die.

37:36 Drew Let's get Claudia out.

37:37 Adam I've got to fix on her coordinates. I've just called in a strike. We're taking out the whole block. That's the only way I can see to get rid of this problem. Too many cousins, too much counseling, too many resources at this point. God knows how many victims have spun off of this. I'm just going to call in a strike. You see that footage of Vietnam where they dropped those napalm bombs. It just, once they hit the ground, boom, it's like they threw a tanker at about 500 miles an hour. It just hits and just a mile long row of fire going right down the middle of the street. That's kind of what I'm looking for here. Let's see if I can, so in fact, there are these coordinates just a little bit more. Claudia, I'm going to need you to wrap yourself in wet towels and climb under the bed, honey. This ain't going to be pretty.

38:24 Guest Okay.

38:24 Adam All right. So this is on your dad's side, and these are all the cousins. What about their dad? Your dad's brother or sister?

38:37 Guest Well, mostly it's his sisters. And well, one of them is his sisters because there's a young one and all the ones are their brothers.

38:46 Drew Where are we going with this?

38:47 Caller Hold on.

38:49 Adam See what happens when you have boys? Women just become porn stars and strippers. Guys do the raping.

38:54 Guest The other two are brothers.

38:56 Adam All right. Where are we going with this? Hey, Claudia?

38:58 Guest Yeah.

38:58 Adam You got to get some counseling. You got to get some help. You have to stop with these guys.

39:04 Drew Can you tell your parents what's happening here?

39:06 Guest No, they don't know.

39:07 Drew Could you tell them?

39:08 Guest Could I?

39:09 Guest Yeah.

39:10 Guest No, I can't, but I was walked in on one of the younger ones. He's like two years younger than me.

39:17 Adam He's 13 and he's getting with you?

39:20 Guest Yeah. His mom walked in on us, but his mom and his dad knows, but that's it.

39:25 Drew Well, why don't you talk to his mom and dad about the case of him.

39:27 Adam What are the ages of all the cousins? You got 21, 13 and?

39:31 Guest 21, 13 and 16.

39:34 Adam Oh, boy. Oh, baby. I'm sorry, Claudia. Listen, honey, you got to stop though. You got to stop. You're digging yourself in deeper each time. They take just a little piece out of you. They take a little chunk out of you every time you're with one of these guys.

39:52 Guest Well, me and the older one aren't talking anymore.

39:55 Adam Which one are you in love with? The 16-year-old?

39:57 Guest Yeah.

39:58 Adam But you're not. Oh, boy.

40:00 Guest I like have really strong feelings.

40:02 Adam I know. But you don't know what your feelings are because somebody did something to your feelings. You know what I mean?

40:08 Guest Yeah.

40:09 Adam Claudia, listen to me. I swear this is a horrible situation you're in. And if you had more distance from it, and God willing, one day you will. You'll look back and realize just how f'ed up it was. And you'll have anger toward your parents and the cousins and everybody but me and Drew. Even Drew, you should be pissed off. But listen, Claudia, you can't have sex with any of these guys anymore, do you understand?

40:32 Guest Well, I haven't had sex with them but I've done like oral.

40:35 Adam Don't do oral. Don't do anything with them.

40:38 Drew Adam and I still consider that sex, believe it or not.

40:42 Adam Yeah, believe me, when I was growing up they considered that sex. Oh yes, they consider oral sex sex. They had sex right in it. What do you mean, everyone? They tried to sidestep it by calling it oral. Listen, it's called oral sex. Second word, sex. All right. Claudia, I swear to God. These parents, what the hell is going on here?

41:05 Drew They didn't do anything about it. They just let it go.

41:07 Adam You got your. What kind of three sons are you raising when they're basically raping their younger cousin? My God. I mean, I blew my cousin Greg. There's a handful of times but it stopped.

41:19 Drew Well, nobody walked in.

41:20 Adam No, that's right. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. I'm going to go get disgusted at my own image in the mirror. Drew, I suggest you do the same.

41:31 Drew Okay.

41:31 Adam We'll be back after this.

41:37 We'll be right back with more. Love Line.

42:08 Adam Yep, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Let's talk to Tina, who sees a ghost of her dead grandma. Great. Let's see. All right, here's what I'm guessing. Let's try to guess where Tina's from.

42:29 Drew New Orleans.

42:31 Adam Are we in New Orleans?

42:33 Drew I don't think so.

42:34 Adam Okay. Can't be from New Orleans, Drew. Tina?

42:38 Drew Yeah.

42:38 Adam Where are you from? You're not from Southern California, are you?

42:41 Caller No, I'm from Oregon.

42:42 Adam Oregon.

42:43 Caller Yeah. Okay. This sounds a little weird, but I lived with my grandma for like six years. Then in 1996, she died. For some, I don't know why, but for some reason, even today, there's some songs I can't listen to because it reminds me of her. Then I get flashbacks of things that I've done with her, like if they just happened.

43:10 Adam I see. How old were you when you moved in with her?

43:15 Caller I was like almost about 16.

43:18 Drew Well, this is somebody who felt very intensely about it, and you're having difficulty dealing with the loss. That's something that some people's brain do to try to help them.

43:26 Adam What year did she die?

43:30 Drew Some people, when they lose an important person, will actually believe they've seen them and had conversations with them. It can be a specific experience that doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you, other than you're really struggling with this loss.

43:46 Adam Why? The math isn't working out for me. You lived there for six years.

43:51 Drew To 22.

43:52 Adam To age 22. You died four years ago. Yeah.

43:58 Caller Well, maybe my math messed up, but she met the most to me.

44:02 Adam Well, hold on. You lived with her for six years. Is that true?

44:06 Caller Around that. I don't know the exact yearling.

44:09 Drew Whatever. Don't try to forget.

44:11 Adam Sorry about that. I don't know what upset you. Hey, Tina? You on any medication?

44:17 Guest No.

44:18 Adam Should you be on some?

44:20 Guest Not that I know of.

44:21 Adam Are you pretty depressed? Something's up. Why did you move in with your grandma at 16? That's a bad sign.

44:28 Caller Well, I had quite a rough life.

44:30 Drew Ah, yes.

44:32 Adam What is that on? What happened to you?

44:34 Caller I was beat when I was younger by my parents. I was molested by my stepfather. I went to foster home after foster home.

44:44 Drew Well, Tina, it's natural enough that-

44:45 Adam Tina, that's where more of the pain is, I think, than grandma.

44:49 Drew But it's also where the biology of the brain can't adjust to overwhelming loss. It can so traumatize it, it just sort of fills in. You know, where it can't deal with the reality of the loss. It just gives you an experience as though you just had it with grandma. It lets you see her. Right. The brain is an interesting thing. It does. When it feels threatened and overwhelmed, it just fills in. It just puts something in there to help you feel less overwhelmed, a defense or something.

45:15 Adam All right. Here's the point, you know, whatever feelings, flashbacks you have with grandma are neither here nor there right now. You have bigger fish to fry emotionally. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, abandonment, all that good stuff. Read a book, talk to a therapist, get in a support group, do whatever you got to do. And I bet some of the feelings of grandma will clear up too. Nancy?

45:39 Caller Hi.

45:39 Adam Hey, you're 19. What's up?

45:40 Caller Hi, I'm married and my husband masturbates and I just wanted to know.

45:46 Drew Oh my god, a deviant.

45:47 Adam Yeah, you leave that at the altar. How many times a week does he masturbate you think?

45:55 Caller I don't know.

45:56 Caller I think probably once a week.

45:57 Drew You were going to say a day. You were going to say a day.

46:00 Adam I was about to. Yeah, and I realize you may not know the answer to that.

46:02 Drew You also don't want to freak her out too much.

46:05 Adam You're going with once a week?

46:06 Caller Yeah, I think so.

46:07 Adam How old is he?

46:08 Caller He's 20.

46:11 Adam He may have a brain tumor. Once a week is pretty light for a 20-year-old.

46:15 Caller Well, I mean, I realize that masturbating is a natural thing.

46:19 Adam Right, but you still can't help being freaked out about it?

46:21 Caller Well, I don't like it and I told him that I don't like it and that I didn't want him to do it.

46:26 Adam All right, hold on a second. What's up with Nancy? Weird, some control stuff going on.

46:31 Drew Men, men freak her out.

46:33 Adam Somebody did, yeah. I mean, there hasn't been a woman who's called this show tonight that hasn't had something done, but something got weird. I'm not saying like just molestation, but something, something. Nancy.

46:45 Caller Yeah.

46:46 Adam All right, what's up with you?

46:47 Caller What's up with me?

46:48 Adam Yeah, what's up with you?

46:49 Caller I don't know.

46:51 Adam Why are you so against this? Why is it so threatening to you?

46:54 Caller Well, it makes me feel like less of a person.

46:57 Guest Why?

46:59 Caller Because I do what I can, you know, I.

47:01 Adam All right, but what happened? Who made you feel not good about yourself?

47:07 Caller I don't know. I mean, I've always been a pretty strong person.

47:09 Adam I know, but I'm not talking about strength. I'm talking about, or even character. I'm talking about who made you feel like you should be threatened by this sort of stuff.

47:19 Drew The men were difficult.

47:20 Adam All right, where's your dad?

47:23 Guest I don't know my dad.

47:24 Adam Now we're getting warm. Step dads?

47:27 Caller Yeah.

47:28 Adam Yeah, what kind of guys were they?

47:30 Caller One step father. He was an alcoholic.

47:33 Drew How many did you have?

47:34 Adam Just one. Just one. And Drew's a robot. He can't tell voice inflection. He only reads it. Like when you're at the bank and you have that electronic news going by. That's how Drew hears people. One bank, one step father. See, he doesn't know if that's one step father was an alcoholic. He doesn't know the difference between that and one step father. See, he's a robot. One step father. So he was an alcoholic. He never knew you reeled in.

48:04 Caller Yeah, he was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

48:06 Adam There you have it.

48:07 Drew Something happened there.

48:08 Adam Okay. Stop taking it out on your husband, Nancy. These are your issues. The poor guy scared to death. This is you, baby.

48:16 Caller Is that normal?

48:17 Adam This is you. It's all you.

48:20 Drew She picked him though. You picked him. Well, something about him, though, right?

48:24 Adam He was a virgin when he met her, it says up here. Nancy, these are your unresolved issues. Now, let's see. If you wake up and the guy's whacking off on you, then that's his problem. And call us back. If he's squeezing one a week off and he's shivering, he's cowering in the corner running the tub while he's doing it because he's scared what you're going to find out, this is your issue, baby. I knew it was this. All right. This has to do with dad and stepdad. So what should I do? It's not your fault. It's just your issue. You got to get some help. It has nothing to do with him masturbating. Zero.

49:00 Drew Yep.

49:01 Adam Okay.

49:02 Drew That's true. You're just getting hostile again.

49:04 Adam All right. Whatever. It's your life. I'm telling you what the truth is. You want to lead your life. You want to lead a lie. You want to chase your husband around for whacking off and spend the lion's share of your energy doing that? Be my guest.

49:16 Caller No.

49:17 Adam All right. You want to get to the bottom of it? You want to get to the truth? You got to get a little therapy.

49:21 Caller Okay.

49:21 Adam All right. All right. We'll take a break.

49:24 Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

49:27 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. Yep, it's Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just 10 seconds.

50:23 Adam Yeah, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And let's hop back on the phones and speak to Andrew. Andrew's 15. Andrew?

50:37 Yeah.

50:38 Adam What's up?

50:39 My girlfriend, she asked me if she wanted to give me a BJ. I said, yeah, but I don't know if that's taking a risk. She got the braces.

50:47 Adam Well, it's a risk me and my penis would be willing to take at 15.

50:52 Drew 15 only?

50:53 Adam Yeah. 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21. Up and down. How old am I? 35? Still 35. Yeah. Yeah. How old is she?

51:03 15.

51:04 Adam I see. And so what did you tell her? You'd have to sleep on it?

51:08 No, I told her to kick back. I was like, I have to worry about it.

51:13 Adam Wow.

51:14 I asked her and I ate her out.

51:15 Adam Oh, that's nice.

51:16 Drew Oh, Andrew. The gentleman.

51:19 I was like, I don't know. I just like, I change the subject really, really fast.

51:23 Adam I see. And Andrew, when you kiss her, do the braces get in the way?

51:29 Sometimes they'll cut my lip.

51:31 Oh, wow.

51:35 Adam I'll tell you what. Well, it doesn't sound like you're ready for this.

51:39 No.

51:40 Adam Yeah. I mean, it sounds like more than the braces.

51:43 What?

51:44 Adam Yeah.

51:44 Drew Have you had this done to you before?

51:46 Yeah.

51:47 Adam Yeah. Outside of the family?

51:48 No. Yeah.

51:50 Adam Oh, I see. You have.

51:52 Yeah. I don't know because I've asked people, like people that she was with. Like if it's just me that was macking her wrong or something, like because that hasn't happened before.

52:05 Drew Hey, I'm following you.

52:06 Adam Now, Andrew, are you stoned?

52:10 A little bit.

52:10 Adam A little bit stoned? You're having a little bit of trouble tracking, buddy.

52:13 Well, it's like because I talked to the people she was with.

52:16 Adam What do you mean the people she was with?

52:17 Like her ex-boyfriends because I hang out with some of them. She said that she doesn't really know how to mack that good.

52:25 Adam Oh, okay. I see. Well, that's important. You know what you do, Drew, you check references.

52:31 Drew Yeah, that's a good business man.

52:33 Adam Hey, Earl, yeah, you're with my girlfriend, right? Sure. And she blew you on many occasions? Absolutely. What's the question?

52:42 Drew How was it?

52:43 Adam As far as the oral sex goes with the braces, I don't want you to be honest. How was it? Well, Andrew, sit down. I got some bad news for you. She got a hook, she got a retainer hooked on a penis piercing hand, so I had to call the fire department for the hose on it. I see. Okay. And corn holing, how was that? Is it enjoyable? Right at one to ten, ten being best.

53:06 Drew Hi, Father. Father McConnie, how are you?

53:09 Adam Father McConnie, yes. You Mac now with my girlfriend for a while? That's right. I see. Summer camp two years ago? That's right. Corn holing, again. How was that? One to ten, give it a five?

53:22 Okay.

53:24 Adam Thanks a lot. Thanks for your time. Hey, Father, come here. Here's a twenty. Put that in the basket, would you? Thank you. God bless. All right. I don't even know what to do again with him. Diane?

53:36 Yeah?

53:37 Adam Listen, not you, honey, but guys, if you call the show, please try not to get baked just before you call in and turn down the news radio in the background. Go ahead, Diane.

53:48 Hi, I've been depressed for a couple of years. And in the last two weeks, I've been sort of happy and stuff and it's sort of weird.

53:56 Drew Did something happen to make you happy?

53:59 Well, not really. In actuality, I should be more depressed.

54:04 Drew Why?

54:04 Because I had just gone up to college and gotten away from my parents and stuff. And I realized that I didn't like where I was, the school I was at and what I was there for. And so I came back.

54:18 Drew Came back home?

54:19 Yeah.

54:19 Adam Yeah. What were you there for?

54:21 I was doing engineering.

54:24 Adam I see.

54:24 Drew Eating disorder.

54:25 Adam Eating disorder. God, I was about to yell eating disorder.

54:28 Caller Yeah.

54:28 Drew You've got one.

54:29 Adam Diane? Eating disorder? Yeah.

54:33 Caller Yeah.

54:33 Adam My God, Drew.

54:34 Drew Me too. Yeah.

54:35 Adam It was like I wanted to hear the rest of her story, but a minute before she started in on it, I was like eating disorder.

54:41 Drew Yeah.

54:41 Adam Yeah. Me too. Why is that? Why don't we know eating disorder off of you?

54:45 Drew Because she is so enmeshed with her family that she couldn't make the transition away and then was euphoric when she returned home, even though it was a return to a fused primitive state that's not going to be good for her at all. Plus, she's got the little girl voice and I wasn't getting the sort of chaotic abuse thing going.

55:05 Adam So it's got to be.

55:05 Drew So much as the intrusion, the intrusion thing.

55:07 And I have also injured before.

55:10 Drew Self-cut. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, your family will not let you go. They are just totally focused on you, aren't they? Yeah. I mean, that is bad news, Diane, for you. Yep. You've got to separate. And it's something that you probably don't have the internal resources to do on your own. Is your eating disorder active right now?

55:31 Guest No.

55:32 It's been doing pretty good.

55:33 Drew And you've been in treatment for that?

55:35 No.

55:36 Caller Just for that.

55:37 Drew Listen, your brain, just think about it this way. If your brain had the mechanisms available to it to sort of fill in and cope with the process of leaving and separating from your family, you would do it. But there isn't anything in there to help that happen. You need some therapeutic intervention to develop that piece of self that needs to come in to tease yourself away from this incredibly tightly enmeshed system.

56:03 Adam What kind of engineering were you going to study?

56:05 Mechanical.

56:06 Drew Wow. Seriously, this is a crossroads for you.

56:10 Adam What are you, Asian or Jewish?

56:13 Well, my dad was Jewish, but my parents are Jehovah's Witnesses.

56:17 Adam Jehovah's Witness? Oh, yeah.

56:20 I'm not doing that anymore.

56:21 Adam Good.

56:23 Drew There you go.

56:24 Adam And what, your parents are professional types?

56:27 Oh, yeah. My dad was a graphic artist and my mom's a teacher.

56:31 Adam I see. Boy, they're all over your ass, aren't they?

56:34 Drew Are you the only child?

56:36 I'm the only one still at home.

56:37 Adam Hey, you ought to go move in with my family for a couple of weeks. That eating disorder will go away. Don't worry.

56:44 Drew Man, can we not hear that?

56:45 Adam Oh, man. Yeah. All right. So you know what's going on. Do you even want to be an engineer or do you know?

56:51 No. I hate it.

56:52 Adam You hate it?

56:53 Yeah.

56:53 Drew What do you want to be?

56:54 I want to be a musician, actually.

56:56 Oh, boy.

56:58 Drew Your family listen to that when you say that?

56:59 No. They hate it.

57:01 Adam Listen, Diane, don't tell your parents what you want to do. Just do it. But you can't, they're not going to subsidize it. I mean, you're going to have to pay for it.

57:10 Oh, yeah. I know it.

57:12 Adam All right. Be free.

57:13 Drew Well, yeah, yeah, get treatment.

57:15 Adam And enjoy. And get treatment.

57:18 Drew There's nothing. There's such a nothingness there. You know, when she tries to establish self, separate from family, there's nothing to call upon. They've never let anything develop. The brain has to do that. It takes a little biological energy for that to happen. It takes a while.

57:33 Adam I know. I know. Listen, I feel her pain. I was in the exact same situation. Well, let me think. Yeah, I was 18. And I remember, I don't know, wait a minute. My stepmom told me to get the hell out of the house. And my dad said, yeah, that's a good plan. Other than that, it was the exact same thing.

57:53 Drew And you pulled the dishwasher over and finished the dishes.

57:55 Oh, Jesus Christ.

57:58 Adam My God. Talk about, I have the opposite of an eating disorder, whatever that is. What is under-emeshed parents?

58:08 Drew Well, that's a different kind of-

58:09 Adam Thank God. I didn't even know when to help my parents. I don't know when their birthdays are. I don't know how old they are. I don't know what the hell they do. I don't know a goddamn thing about them. I really don't. My parents were trying to get me out of the house at 15. That is so bizarre. It's bizarre. You know, the most bizarre thing is, is when you hear about people that are 180 degrees away from you and what you grew up in, it doesn't even make sense. I couldn't even imagine having a conversation with my family about what I was going to do or what college I was going to go to.

58:44 Drew Not letting you do certain things.

58:45 Adam Or not letting me do something.

58:46 Drew That's not what you're going to be. You're going to be an engineer.

58:48 Adam Or encouraging. I was, oh my God. I used to bring home report cards with Ds and Fails on it. I never even had a conversation. Hey, you realize that? I mean, I'd bring home the world's worst report card at like 13. It wasn't a conversation. Some parts of it were good. You got to dodge all that bad stuff you guys get into. You get like a D and you get grounded or something. You didn't have that discussion. Homework, all that stuff you hate to do. Never did it. Never did it. Never did homework. Never did anything. Look at me. I'm a millionaire.

59:21 Drew Literally.

59:22 Adam Literally. Millionaire. You see this, Drew?

59:24 Drew Hey, by the way.

59:25 Adam What am I pointing at?

59:26 Drew Your schnoz.

59:27 Adam No. What am I pointing at here?

59:28 Drew Your head.

59:29 Adam What is this?

59:30 Drew Your nose. What are you doing? Your face.

59:33 Adam That's right. That's right. You know what that is?

59:35 Drew Face of a millionaire.

59:37 Adam Jesus Christ. You retard. Cash register.

59:41 Drew That's right.

59:42 Adam Thank you.

59:42 Drew Hey, but I was thinking about last night. Larry Flynn in here last night. That is literally a millionaire. That is, you know.

59:49 Adam Is this because he has a $750,000 watch at home?

59:52 Drew And a $400,000 car he drove in.

59:54 Adam Well.

59:55 Drew Think about that.

59:56 Adam It was $365,000. Come on. With tax out the door. Do you have to pay a luxury tax on $365,000?

1:00:02 Drew I imagine.

1:00:03 Adam Or is it $400,000? Where's the cutoff for that? Larry Flint was in here last night. He leases that car.

1:00:10 Drew Then he buys it.

1:00:11 Adam $8,000,000. I mean, sorry. $8,000,000 a month. He pays on that lease. $8,000,000 a month for that car, everybody. Jesus Christ.

1:00:20 Drew That is what millionaires do, Adam.

1:00:22 Adam Yep.

1:00:22 Drew You're going to be like that.

1:00:23 Adam Eric?

1:00:24 Yeah.

1:00:25 Adam You're 15?

1:00:26 Caller Yeah.

1:00:27 Adam What's up?

1:00:28 Caller I just like to say I love The Man Show.

1:00:29 Adam That's right.

1:00:31 Caller Thank you. Anyway, I was roughhousing with my dog on Saturday, and she bit me in the nose, but it didn't puncture anything, but it was enough to make it a nosebleed. Then on Sunday, I had another nosebleed and a mild headache. Now today, I had another nosebleed and the headache was a little worse, but it wasn't like migraine or anything. I was just wondering, should I go see a doctor about this?

1:00:54 Drew Yeah, dog bites, yeah. Any skin punctures?

1:00:58 Caller Didn't puncture the skin, just put enough pressure on it to make the nose bleed.

1:01:01 Drew I see, so he sort of whacked you.

1:01:03 Caller Yeah, sort of. She put her teeth on my nose, but not enough to puncture the skin or anything, just enough to put enough pressure to make the nose bleed.

1:01:12 Adam Sounds, that was bizarre, because you think they put enough pressure on it would puncture the skin.

1:01:17 Yeah.

1:01:18 Adam All right, well anyway, what kind of dog is it?

1:01:20 Caller A greyhound.

1:01:21 Adam Oh, those messes.

1:01:22 Caller Yeah.

1:01:25 Adam Too much inbreeding with those things. All right, Eric?

1:01:29 Caller Yeah.

1:01:30 Drew It all makes sense, the headache and whatnot with the bleeding and the kind of injury you had, but I can't say you shouldn't be seen at this distance.

1:01:37 Adam Well, what could it be?

1:01:38 Drew It could be an infection. It could be something, a more serious source of bleeding. It could be filling up sinuses. It could be a fracture.

1:01:46 Adam What is it with the nose bleeds when you're younger that you don't get anymore? You know what I'm talking about?

1:01:52 Drew Yeah, you don't pick your nose as much, I guess.

1:01:53 Adam Oh, not me.

1:01:54 Drew You have a problem.

1:01:55 Adam I pick my nose much more than I ever did. I double down on the nose.

1:01:59 Drew It's just driving home at night.

1:02:00 Adam I drive home, I got my right fist up my right nostril.

1:02:04 Drew You told me once it was so much, you were getting worried that you had a problem.

1:02:08 Adam I was. I am. I do. I really pick my nose. In a serious way. Hey, but if boogers didn't come out, I wouldn't do it. I would stop. I go at it, man. I go at it in a big way. Let me see. I got my thumb up there on occasion. And I have big nostrils. You don't think about a nostril. It's very accommodating. Look at my nostril. Not a big nostril.

1:02:31 Drew You're putting two fingers up there. I see it. That's good.

1:02:33 Let me see.

1:02:34 Drew And, Daniel, you catching this?

1:02:36 Adam I got two fingers in my nostril. I could do it.

1:02:41 Drew Unacceptable. I don't know if it's unacceptable or not. It's happening right here.

1:02:44 Adam That's right. All right. Where are we going here?

1:02:46 Drew Just let it fart and just get over it.

1:02:48 Adam I'm trying. Vanessa?

1:02:49 Caller Yeah.

1:02:50 Adam You're 17?

1:02:51 Caller Yeah.

1:02:51 Adam You're attracted to other girls?

1:02:52 Caller Yeah. But it's kind of weird because I've never done another girl anything, but I haven't. But I'm really attracted to them.

1:03:04 Drew Sexually?

1:03:05 Caller Yeah. I would do them, but I'm not gay. So it's like, I don't know.

1:03:12 Drew What do you mean you're not gay?

1:03:13 Caller Well, I mean, I've never done a girl anything, but I've liked girls for a while, but I don't know. I say that I would do them, but then I find myself saying like, no, I don't want to.

1:03:24 Drew Well, you're 17, you're going to figure this out. Right now, all I know is that you're confused and having some pretty strong impulses in that direction.

1:03:33 Adam Anybody monkey with you when you're younger?

1:03:35 Caller No.

1:03:35 Adam No?

1:03:36 Caller No.

1:03:36 Adam You ever been with a guy?

1:03:38 Caller Yeah.

1:03:38 Adam How do you like that?

1:03:40 Caller Yeah, I like that a lot better.

1:03:42 Adam How many guys you've been with?

1:03:44 Caller Three.

1:03:44 Adam Three?

1:03:45 Caller Yeah.

1:03:45 Adam How old were you when you started?

1:03:49 Caller Well, the first time I did it was a mistake. I was 12.

1:03:52 Drew That's what we're talking about.

1:03:53 Adam How old is he?

1:03:54 Caller He was 14.

1:03:56 Adam Yeah.

1:03:56 Drew That's the monkey we're talking about.

1:03:58 Adam 12 is a little young, isn't it?

1:04:00 Drew Yeah. That could screw up a little bit. What were you doing having sex at 12? Why that?

1:04:07 Caller I don't know. I was with him for a few months before, and he lived right next door to me, so I went to his house one day and it just happened. But I always said if I could take it back, I would though.

1:04:19 Drew Yeah. Everyone we talk to thinks that they had sex too early, but certainly at 12 makes sense.

1:04:25 Adam Funny. I never think about taking back sexual experiences, but I do dream of getting other people. Am I collecting them? You women sit around and think, finally didn't do that, finally could take that one back, finally didn't go out that night. Guys sit around thinking, she's finally banged another chick. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah. I lament that. Brandy?

1:04:48 Caller Yeah.

1:04:48 Adam You're 21?

1:04:49 Caller Yes.

1:04:50 Adam All right. Hold on a second.

1:04:53 Caller What?

1:04:54 Adam I don't like your attitude already. Just say yes. Yeah. Yes. All right. We'll see what's up with Brandy. Brandy?

1:05:02 Caller Yeah. You don't like my attitude? No. He caught me off guard.

1:05:09 Adam All right, baby. What's going on in the background? Can you turn that down?

1:05:14 Caller Yeah. Actually, yeah. I'll step outside. I'm a single mom and I have two kids.

1:05:22 Adam You're doing a wonderful job with them, I might say.

1:05:25 Caller Oh, and I am actually. I've had a problem with nobody wants to... I'm not asking anyone to take on the responsibility of my two kids, but I haven't even had a date since my daughter's three years old.

1:05:48 Adam Where's biological, Danny?

1:05:51 Caller After I graduated high school, I moved out to Washington because I had a lot of problems that I need to get away from, because I was into drugs and stuff a lot when I was in high school.

1:06:03 Adam Well, you're a mom, sure.

1:06:04 Caller And, well, no, this was before I got pregnant. I needed to get away because I knew for myself that I needed to get away.

1:06:13 Adam So you got away before you were pregnant? Yeah.

1:06:15 Caller And I moved in with my cousin, and it was my cousin's best friend that I was with when I was out there when I got pregnant. And when I moved back to California is when I found out I was pregnant.

1:06:31 Adam So he never was around?

1:06:34 Caller No.

1:06:34 Adam Does he know?

1:06:35 Caller Oh yeah, he knows. I called him just to let him know because he has the right to know.

1:06:40 Adam Sure.

1:06:41 Caller And what's the thing is?

1:06:43 Adam Is he all right with that?

1:06:44 Caller Oh yeah, he was fine with it but now like after a while he would, you know, because he was a couple years younger than I was.

1:06:54 Adam Wait a minute, how old were you when you got pregnant?

1:06:57 Caller I was 18.

1:06:59 Drew He was 16.

1:07:01 Caller Yeah, he was turning 17 like a month or two after.

1:07:08 Adam Has he ever seen the kid?

1:07:10 Caller No, he lives in Washington.

1:07:12 Drew You have had another one since then?

1:07:14 Caller There was a guy.

1:07:15 Adam Well, it's important to have another one.

1:07:17 Caller No, no, this was a guy that I dated off and on since I was like 14.

1:07:21 Adam Okay, well if you dated him.

1:07:23 Caller We'll not say dated but because I have a son that's going to be nine months old and he would call off and on because he was a lot older.

1:07:31 Adam How old was he?

1:07:34 Caller Right now, he's five years older than I am. So he's like 27. So he would call like off and on like every one or two years. He would call because he lived, well he said he lived up in Monterey. All right. When he came down.

1:07:51 Drew What is the question?

1:07:52 Adam Well, does he see his kid?

1:07:54 Caller No, because he doesn't even know.

1:07:57 Adam When does the government get to sterilize people? That's my question.

1:08:01 Caller No, because I've even, I wanted to get my tubes tied after I had my son. And they told me they want to do it because I was too young.

1:08:08 Adam Who's they? Come on.

1:08:10 Caller The doctor. He told me to go to different doctors and they won't do it because I'm too young. And they said that they, you know.

1:08:18 Drew That's a liability thing.

1:08:20 Adam Hold on a second. Let me yell at the system for a second. Too young. That's right. Too young to be a mother. You have two kids that you're screwing up. You know what I mean? What do you mean too young? Forget about how old you are. You got two kids. Let's put it this way. I don't, does it make a difference whether you're 14 with two kids or 34 with two kids? You got two kids. And you're saying, I don't want another kid. Can't they just sign a piece of paper? Do you know what I'm saying? What's the liability? Somebody comes to you and says, I want this done. They're of age.

1:08:58 Drew Yeah, they said, I didn't know. I couldn't have consented. She was 20 at the time.

1:09:02 Adam She came to a doctor. The doctor didn't come to her.

1:09:05 Drew She was a 20.

1:09:05 Adam As an adult.

1:09:07 Drew She was 20.

1:09:09 Adam As an adult. Over 18.

1:09:11 Drew I know. But let's see if they would do it now. What was the age cutoff that they wanted?

1:09:14 Adam Oh, I don't know. Brandy?

1:09:16 Caller Okay. I was 21 when I had my son. I was of legal age to get my tubes tied. I was 21.

1:09:23 Adam All right. Go find someone else.

1:09:24 Caller But they won't do it.

1:09:25 Adam I'll do it myself.

1:09:28 Caller But the thing is, is that.

1:09:29 Adam Stinking lawyers, screwing everything up. Yeah. All right. So you want to know why you can't meet any guys?

1:09:36 Caller Yeah. I mean, I live by myself with my two kids. I pay my rent. I have my own car. I pay my own bills.

1:09:43 Adam What do you do? How do you make money?

1:09:44 Caller I'm a teacher. I went to college right after I graduated high school. I'm a teacher. I'm going to be 22 years old in a month.

1:09:52 Drew What do you teach?

1:09:53 Caller School-aged children.

1:09:55 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. You're a teacher and Drew said, what do you teach? And you said school-aged children.

1:10:03 Caller Exactly.

1:10:04 Caller I work. Okay.

1:10:04 Caller I don't have my credentials. I work for the YMCA.

1:10:09 Drew Lay off the tobacco too, Brandy. My gosh. She can't get the word out without puffing on that thing.

1:10:15 Adam Hey, baby.

1:10:16 Caller What?

1:10:17 Adam Okay. Listen. Who takes care of your kids during the day?

1:10:21 Caller I pay a babysitter to watch them. All right. I have an in-home daycare.

1:10:24 Adam Okay. Listen. Here's the deal, Brandy. You having two children is going to make it a little bit harder for you to find dates.

1:10:33 Caller Well, that's exactly.

1:10:34 Adam I know that. But that ain't the sole reason.

1:10:39 Drew No.

1:10:39 Adam There's bigger reasons than that.

1:10:41 Caller Then why?

1:10:42 Adam That's you. It's not the kids. All right?

1:10:46 Caller Okay. Then what I want to know is what's wrong with me?

1:10:50 Adam Well, I don't know what's wrong with you, but there's a few things about you that guys ain't that into.

1:10:55 Caller Let's see. I don't. Okay. We'll see. What I don't understand is because they told me I'm a lot like the guys. I love to watch football. I watch every football game. Yeah.

1:11:05 Adam But listen, Brandy, listen. You can't break it down into hobbies.

1:11:08 Drew Yeah.

1:11:09 Adam It doesn't matter. You have some issues. You have some energy.

1:11:13 Drew It's the aggression.

1:11:14 Adam You're a little bit aggressive.

1:11:15 Drew It's the chaos.

1:11:16 Adam The two kids ain't helping. Don't get me wrong. But that ain't it. If you were a lovely, beautiful, kind, warm woman, guys, there'd be many guys who'd love to come in there, be your next husband and the father of your children. They're out there. Don't blame the kids. Just relax. Don't push so hard. Don't smoke so much.

1:11:41 Drew Do you hear that?

1:11:42 Adam Just relax a little bit. Slow down a little bit and look into some of those issues that had you move from one town to the next because you were too much into drugs in high school and some of the things. I know you got your life back together and all that.

1:11:58 Drew But there's not been a lot of real change.

1:12:01 Adam No, it's been physical change.

1:12:03 Drew It's been a lot of surface change.

1:12:05 Adam Right.

1:12:05 Drew What's keeping the guys away is that deeper stuff that they sense.

1:12:09 Adam Right. Focus on the kids anyway. You're 21. You're 21. You got two kids. Just take a couple of years to focus on the kids. That's fine. All right. Andy is 17. Female thinks she has too much pubic hair. The guys think that. All right. We'll talk to Andy, Andy the Chick, after this. I never knew that. Yeah, right. Hi, this is Dr. Drew over there, Adam Corolla, Loveline. Bad Religion will be in here tomorrow night. We like Bad Religion. I haven't seen those guys in a while, but they're really one of the smartest bands out there. Most of those guys have like a master screen and stuff, don't they?

1:13:29 Drew The one guy has one of physiology or anatomy.

1:13:32 Adam Yeah. All right. We'll take ourselves a... I was going to say...

1:13:37 Drew What?

1:13:37 Adam I don't know why. No. No, I just belched up that burrito.

1:13:41 Drew Yes, you did.

1:13:41 Adam Take a shot of that.

1:13:42 Drew Wow. Oh, Anderson.

1:13:47 Adam Anderson's screwing around with me. Thank you, Anderson. We're getting back on the phones.

1:13:52 Drew I thought we were getting rid of that break anyway.

1:13:54 Adam It is? Which one?

1:13:55 Drew Oh my God, that stench.

1:13:57 Adam It was a burrito. What could be bad about a burrito?

1:13:59 Drew First it's gone. Pay attention to the stations.

1:14:01 Adam Andy?

1:14:02 Guest Yeah, Ace?

1:14:04 Adam Hey. I love you.

1:14:05 Guest You're awesome.

1:14:06 Guest You make me laugh so much.

1:14:07 Adam I love you, baby.

1:14:08 Guest Oh, thank you.

1:14:09 Adam Anyone who loves me is a friend of mine.

1:14:12 Guest Okay.

1:14:13 Caller I have a problem. I have a lot of pubic hair.

1:14:17 Guest I have a hairy butt.

1:14:18 Adam No, I don't like you. Oh, I do like you. Hairy butt?

1:14:20 Caller Yeah, just like you. Only I hope not quite that hairy butt. Anyway, I'm just wondering your opinion as men. You think it's a total turnoff, whether it's worth it for me to go get it electrolyzed or anything like that.

1:14:36 Adam What's your nationality?

1:14:38 Caller White.

1:14:39 Adam Let me write that down. White. Uh-huh. Where are your parents from? It's always a good time.

1:14:47 Caller Yeah. Well, I guess we go all the way back to Poland.

1:14:51 Adam Poland, huh? Not a lot of hairy Poles.

1:14:54 Guest I really wouldn't know.

1:14:55 Adam What else are you?

1:14:57 Caller Just Polish?

1:14:58 Caller Polish. I think I've got Russian in me somewhere.

1:15:01 Adam I got a little hair on them.

1:15:02 Drew Any history of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome?

1:15:05 Caller No.

1:15:07 Adam Strange though, somebody with your ethnic breakup being that hairy.

1:15:13 Caller Well, it's not that incredibly hairy. It's just kind of, I mean, it's not like my whole butt is covered in hair or anything like that. But I don't know. I think it's kind of...

1:15:24 Adam How's the top side looking? You know, the front part of the butt there?

1:15:27 Caller Um, well, you can't tell from just looking at the front part, no.

1:15:31 Adam You can't? Why not?

1:15:33 Caller Well, it's like inside, like inside my butt cheeks.

1:15:37 Adam Oh, slow down, baby. That's not what I want. Yeah. Penis goes in, doesn't come out. You can't find it. It's like you're playing baseball, goes into the ivy. You don't know, that's lost, game over. Oh, you're mean. Yeah. You got a nice furry racing stripe going down you, huh? But what about hair, you know, on your belly or your chest or?

1:16:02 Caller No, none of that.

1:16:03 Adam Sideburns, nothing there?

1:16:04 Caller No, nothing like that.

1:16:05 Adam Just the one area, huh? Interesting. That only get worse with time, by the way. Oh. But that's all right. They got all kinds of things to do with that nowadays.

1:16:16 Caller So do you think, like, okay, although I don't know who's getting in there. If you were with a girl who had this problem, would you want her to go get-

1:16:21 Adam I'd want my money back, I'll tell you that right now. But I want her to what?

1:16:26 Caller Electrolysis, waxing, stuff like that.

1:16:29 Adam Yeah, I would. I don't represent most men. After all, I am a millionaire. I'm literally a millionaire. I would. I hate to say it. I think most guys would. There's a certain percentage of guys who don't care, and then a smaller percentage are actually turned on by it. But yeah, things being the way they are in society, being the way it is, I would say that most men would like that hair to be gone.

1:16:56 Drew What would you do if you were a woman?

1:16:58 Adam I'd probably try to take care of it. I hate to admit it, but let's face it, part of living in this western culture of ours is doing things to sort of attract people of the opposite sex, and this would be one of them. Now, I don't know how you laser in someone's bunghole, or if that's possible.

1:17:18 Drew They wax.

1:17:19 Adam They wax in there, they get up in there. I'll tell you, those Asian broads will go anywhere. They'll do anything, those crazy Asian women. They get right up in there. Women will handle each other, man. They will get up in each other's cracks and crevices and pits and divots and potholes. They'll get right up there. They won't think, they won't give it a second thought. Chicks go to those waxing places. They got their legs akimbo, their heads between their legs. There's some little Asian woman in there with a stick painting on her crack in there. Can you imagine doing that? No. I know. But these women do do it. They don't think twice about it. OK.

1:17:55 Caller Well, then thank you very much.

1:17:56 Adam All right. So why don't you check it out? Talk to some of your other female friends. See what they think.

1:18:01 Guest OK.

1:18:02 Adam All right, babe. You're fine. You're beautiful to me. You know that?

1:18:05 Guest All right.

1:18:06 Adam You understand?

1:18:07 Caller Yep.

1:18:07 Adam All of you. Just the way you are. You're beautiful.

1:18:10 Caller You're a liar.

1:18:11 Adam You're all beautiful inside.

1:18:13 Caller All right.

1:18:13 Adam All right.

1:18:14 Caller Bye bye.

1:18:14 Adam All right. There you go.

1:18:17 Beast.

1:18:18 Adam George.

1:18:19 Caller Hey, what's up, you guys?

1:18:19 Adam You're 19.

1:18:20 Caller Asshole.

1:18:21 Adam Thank you.

1:18:21 Caller What?

1:18:22 Caller Hey, you guys are great, I think. Thank you. You know, Adam, I love your Comedy Central Man show. I think it's great.

1:18:28 Adam Thank you.

1:18:29 Caller But sometimes it suffers from avert attempts at raunchy humor, at which it then unfortunately delves into sophomore can pathetic bathroom pedantics, devoid of any intellectual redemption.

1:18:39 Drew Is this somebody's-

1:18:39 Adam Sounds like he's reading a review.

1:18:40 Drew Yeah, is this somebody's review he's reading?

1:18:42 Caller You need to have more inclusive humor, mainly with your co-host Jimmy. There's not enough skit material that is adequate for him by the end of the show.

1:18:49 Adam Adequate for him?

1:18:51 Caller Yeah.

1:18:52 Adam I think Guy does more on the show than I do.

1:18:54 Caller Well, you got to have more inclusive stuff with him. I mean, we ever watch that show, The Show?

1:19:01 Adam It's not on anymore, is it?

1:19:02 Caller No, it's not. It used to be on HBO. Remember that?

1:19:05 Adam Yeah.

1:19:05 Caller It was a great show. You guys got to have skit material that's like bobs and weaves and there's all the storyline stuff that's crazy.

1:19:12 Adam Yeah. You know what though? Yeah. We don't.

1:19:15 Best show on television, The Man Show.

1:19:17 Adam Wait a minute. That was Jesse Ventura talking about his favorite show. Wait a minute. I didn't hear that. What did Jesse Ventura, Governor of Minnesota have to say about The Man Show?

1:19:27 Best show on television, The Man Show.

1:19:29 Adam That's right.

1:19:30 Caller Yeah, but he sucks.

1:19:32 Adam Oh, no. He's a genius.

1:19:33 Caller He's a genius? Then why did he not work for like ten years in the film industry? I mean, seriously.

1:19:43 Caller Like I said, I'm giving the governor's approval to The Man Show.

1:19:46 Adam That's right. Hey, George.

1:19:48 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:19:49 Adam You've never been with a woman, have you, buddy?

1:19:51 Caller No, you're absolutely right.

1:19:55 Adam I can tell a guy who hasn't been laid.

1:20:00 Caller My hand's been accommodating.

1:20:01 Adam I understand. Listen, it's good. Let me explain, Drew and George, why you do not want your son to have too much sexual activity before the age of 20. Tell me if you understand this connection because you've done this show for many years, Drew, many years. Close your eyes. Your eyes close? Okay. No. Wake up. Wake up. Close your eyes. Okay. Now, you've done this show for, I don't know, 17 years or something. Think about the vocabulary of the men who got laid at 14, the callers that have been laid at 14, and the ones who are 19 or 20 and have never had sex.

1:20:48 Drew Oh, right.

1:20:48 Adam Think about the difference.

1:20:49 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:20:50 Adam In the verbal skills. Do you hear this guy, George?

1:20:54 Drew Yeah.

1:20:55 Adam Sound like a thesaurus called in, right?

1:20:57 Drew Yeah.

1:20:57 Adam Now, think about the guys who call in at 14 who are getting oral sex.

1:21:00 Drew Very wide.

1:21:02 Yeah.

1:21:03 Adam My girlfriend go down on me.

1:21:07 Drew Good.

1:21:09 Adam Now, think about George. George is like Tony F and Randall over here. That's how he knew he'd never been laid. Way too extensive a vocabulary. Yeah.

1:21:18 Caller Hello.

1:21:19 Adam There you go, buddy.

1:21:20 Caller Actually, thank you, but I do read the thesaurus every night before I go to bed.

1:21:24 Adam Do you?

1:21:25 Caller Yes, I do.

1:21:25 Adam I absolutely know. Okay, listen.

1:21:26 Caller No, absolutely not.

1:21:28 Adam Listen. Listen, screwball.

1:21:29 Caller Okay.

1:21:30 Adam A little less reading.

1:21:31 Caller Okay.

1:21:33 Adam A little more seeding.

1:21:34 Caller I got one question for Dr. Drew, though.

1:21:36 Adam You need to get a man. You're gay.

1:21:39 Caller Or watch the man show constantly end to end, right?

1:21:41 Adam All right. Go ahead. What is your question for Drew?

1:21:43 Caller Okay. See, I'm like a devout masturbator.

1:21:48 Drew Devout.

1:21:48 Caller Yeah. And I'm really faithful to that profession.

1:21:53 Drew Yes. You're amongst the-

1:21:54 Caller Yeah. Well, if I do it too many times, will I become sterile?

1:21:58 Drew No.

1:21:59 Adam No.

1:21:59 Drew You can reduce your sperm count for a single day.

1:22:04 Caller Like a couple sperm?

1:22:05 Adam What are you good for a day?

1:22:06 Caller Good for a day? 20.

1:22:08 Oh my gosh.

1:22:10 Caller And it creates a little puddle. Where? It could be like a little marshland.

1:22:16 Adam Yeah.

1:22:17 Yeah.

1:22:17 Caller I could put a little fertilizer seed in there and grow my own marshland.

1:22:20 Adam Yeah.

1:22:21 Drew George has got more problems than just his virginity.

1:22:24 Caller Well, yeah, I do actually.

1:22:25 Adam George, what's up, buddy?

1:22:26 Caller I'm a psychopath.

1:22:28 Adam Are you on any meds?

1:22:29 Caller Not at the moment. I've been on Ritalin though before.

1:22:32 Adam Okay. Listen, people have told you you're an intelligent guy, right?

1:22:36 Caller Some of the time, yeah, but they were just being sarcastic like you are most of the time.

1:22:40 Adam No, no, no, no, no. Listen, George, Georgie, Georgie Porgie, listen to me, brother. You're a very smart guy. You have a very high IQ.

1:22:48 Caller Perhaps. I don't know.

1:22:49 Adam You do. Believe me, you do. Okay, I do. I'm being annoyed now.

1:22:54 Caller No, I'm just kidding. Go ahead.

1:22:55 Adam Quiet down. Okay. You need to take a breath. Okay. Don't talk so much.

1:23:02 Caller Cuba Libre.

1:23:03 Adam And you need to, don't quote anything from Star Trek or anything. And you need to just start going on some long walks. No talking.

1:23:12 Caller That's not logical advice, Jim. Long walks.

1:23:19 Adam Everyone do some betting on when George is getting laid?

1:23:23 Drew This is April 2000.

1:23:25 Adam Let's see, let's see.

1:23:30 Drew Star date 45.3.

1:23:35 Adam We'll never be able to collect on a bet because we both have died of natural causes. Let me see. I'm going to do, I'm going to take a wager when George, when a woman is going to let George inside here. Let's see, what day is it? Is it Monday?

1:23:48 Drew Monday, April 2000.

1:23:50 Adam Let's see, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 14 years. I love that joke. Oh my God. Guys just have no idea. Guys, guys, don't talk. You'll never get laid. Don't talk.

1:24:12 Drew Now we just kind of understand why women go for the brooding downtrodden type. This is their alternative.

1:24:19 Adam Right. You got George asking to beam me up every five seconds. All right. Let me just talk to Henry. Henry, you're 17?

1:24:27 Caller Yeah.

1:24:28 Adam You had sex with your girlfriend two days ago. Now she's itchy down there?

1:24:34 Caller Yeah. Today she told me that she was itchy down there.

1:24:37 Adam Down there?

1:24:38 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38 Adam Okay. Hold on. See what I'm talking about? Guys who get laid.

1:24:42 Drew Yeah. I'm talking about Australia or something.

1:24:45 Adam It takes their vocal chi right out of them. We're going to take a little break. We'll be back.

1:25:30 Caller Yeah.

1:25:31 Adam It's the Loveline and Adam Carolla, it's Dr. Drew. Let's get back on the phones here and speak to Henry.

1:25:38 Caller All right.

1:25:38 Adam So Henry, you had a sex with your girlfriend, now it's itchy down there.

1:25:41 Caller Yeah.

1:25:42 Adam She's itchy down there.

1:25:43 Caller She's itchy. Yeah. She told me today that she was itching down in her vagina, and I was wondering what.

1:25:52 Drew Well, it could be a yeast infection, could be a vaginal infection, could even be herpes if you have herpes or if you had your mouth and had contact.

1:25:58 Adam Do you have herpes?

1:25:59 Caller No.

1:25:59 Drew You have cold sores in your mouth, anything like that?

1:26:01 Caller No.

1:26:02 Drew And this was probably just a yeast infection or possibly even a vaginitis, but something that should be treated. You can try the over-the-counter yeast medication first.

1:26:09 Adam All right. So she should try that.

1:26:10 Drew Yeah.

1:26:10 Adam All right. A lot of women get the yeast infection down there. Matt?

1:26:14 Caller Yeah.

1:26:14 Adam You're 21.

1:26:16 Caller Yeah.

1:26:18 Caller My stepfather was mentally and a little physically abusive, and I want to know the possibility of me being that way toward my children.

1:26:26 Adam 37, 38 percent.

1:26:28 Drew Well, there's actually some dad that puts it around 60 percent. And I think if you're aware of it, you're not going to do it.

1:26:34 Adam This is your stepfather?

1:26:36 Caller Yes.

1:26:37 Adam When did he come on to the scene?

1:26:39 Caller From 12 to 19.

1:26:41 Adam What about before 12? Any?

1:26:44 No father from the age 6 to 12.

1:26:47 Adam And how is age 6 father? Is he any good?

1:26:51 Yes.

1:26:52 Adam He was?

1:26:52 Yeah, I see him.

1:26:54 Caller I live right next to him now, but I see him like twice a year for that.

1:26:58 Drew Just wait till you're a lot older before you have kids and make sure you have good impulse control.

1:27:02 Adam Do you have kids now?

1:27:03 Caller No.

1:27:04 Adam All right. Just give it a little time. But listen, he came around at 12. It's kind of on the border, but if you had 0 to 12, things were good. He would probably be OK.

1:27:14 Drew He would be OK, yeah.

1:27:14 Adam Yeah. And he wasn't sprinkling of physical abuse.

1:27:18 Caller Yeah.

1:27:18 Adam Not too bad.

1:27:19 Caller Yeah.

1:27:19 Adam All right. Don?

1:27:21 Caller Yeah.

1:27:21 Adam You're 22.

1:27:23 Caller Yeah.

1:27:25 Caller My question basically is for Dr. Drew, I guess. He might be able to answer it better. I consider myself bisexual, but it's got me confused as hell. And I've been seeing a girl for about 9 or 10 months. And I feel like it's just kind of I'm desperate. For what? Well, for a relationship, for one. And I need to be with someone. And it's...

1:27:56 Adam What about the person you've been with for 9 or 10 months?

1:27:59 Caller Well, she's been great, you know. She's always there for me. And things have gone well.

1:28:04 Drew What's your question?

1:28:06 Caller Well, if I keep seeing her, are my feelings for men going to go away?

1:28:10 Drew No. Not likely.

1:28:12 Caller Not likely. What do you suggest I do?

1:28:16 Drew Well, either...

1:28:17 Adam Wait a minute, I got a fart.

1:28:20 Drew Either you are gay and really not coming to terms with that yet. Hold on a sec. And...

1:28:31 Caller Boring, huh?

1:28:39 Adam Wow! Man, you missed a big... That was a sizeable flame, wouldn't you say, Drew?

1:28:47 Drew I would say it scared me.

1:28:49 Adam Knocked Drew back into his seat.

1:28:52 Drew Wow, sulfur.

1:28:54 Adam Yeah. Yeah. All right.

1:28:56 Drew Now we're talking. Maybe you're gay and having trouble dealing with that and trying to force yourself into being a woman, or if you're bisexual and you're ready to have a monogamous relationship, commit yourself and that's that. But I don't think...

1:29:10 Adam All right, listen, he's not going anywhere with this relationship. She's there for me. I mean, you're using her as a crutch.

1:29:16 Drew Well, to try to divert yourself from your homosexuality.

1:29:19 Adam And listen, any guy who's bi is gay, please. Who are you kidding with this bi?

1:29:24 Drew Well...

1:29:24 Adam I've said it a hundred times. Bi is gay with a publicist. That's what that is. You show me a guy who likes to... Oh, blow a guy on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. But I'm all man with the ladies on the rest of the day's way. Give me a break. Who are you guys kidding? This is the most ridiculous premise I've ever heard in my life.

1:29:48 Drew What people have messed with, you know, they get kind of screwed up.

1:29:50 Adam All right, then just say you're effed up and confused. Bi is gay. Believe me, believe me, there's not a straight man in the world who understands Bi. And by the way, all these guys that are so-called Bi, where are they now? Where's the Elton Johns of the world now? You know what I mean? They're gay, because they always were. Here's what-

1:30:14 Drew People will forget that whole history. You know, they were around 15, 20 years ago.

1:30:18 Adam Well, here's what happened. Guys, here's what- Let me explain bisexuality in men. Not in women, but in men. Here's the definition. They start off, and they have feelings toward men when they're young. Nine, ten, eleven. They like guys. They're confused, and society won't have anything of it. And they start picking up dolls, and someone hands them a gun and a GI Joe. You know what I mean? And so they go, oh, this is wrong, this is bad, I should ignore this. And their parents pressure them, and so they start trying to go down that heterosexual road. And they go on a few dates, and they have sex. Some of them even have kids and stuff. But before, you know what? The gay, the little pink head starts rearing its ugly head again. The gay elephant's out of the bag, right? So it comes back out, the gay elephant. And-

1:31:08 Drew I want to talk to Chris.

1:31:09 Adam Shut up. And, and Drew, don't screw with my train of thought. They go hetero because they think they're supposed to. All right. Now what happens? Well, they admit, all right, I like guys. Yeah. But I like women too. So I'm bi. I'm not gay. I'm bi. Now, you're gay now and you always were gay. You tried, you tried to stuff it into a pair of dungarees, but it didn't work. You got the dress. That's the thing.

1:31:32 Drew On the road to gay.

1:31:33 Adam And eventually, you'll be gay. Don't worry. I don't know any bi guys that didn't turn gay eventually. Here we go.

1:31:40 Drew Chris?

1:31:42 Adam You're 31.

1:31:44 Caller Yeah. The problem is, my wife has got this girlfriend of hers coming into town, and she's been so screwed up with other men that my wife wants me to go and sleep with her, and maybe cure her of her ill, but I don't see how that's going to happen.

1:32:01 Adam Well, wait a minute. Your wife may be on to something.

1:32:04 Drew Your wife's been screwed up with men too, evidently.

1:32:06 Caller Well, see, the thing is, then at least me open to let my wife sleep with some other guy her friend brings over.

1:32:12 Adam Obviously. Sure, by law.

1:32:14 Caller And I don't want that.

1:32:15 Adam Law of God and nature.

1:32:16 Drew Your wife is-

1:32:17 Caller Hold on.

1:32:17 Drew She sabotages.

1:32:18 Caller Yeah, that's what I think it is.

1:32:21 Adam Listen, Chris, you are either drunk, putting us on, or just a flat out retard.

1:32:25 Caller You know what? I knew you guys weren't going to believe me, because this is too good to be true for you.

1:32:29 Adam We don't believe you.

1:32:31 Caller Oh, well, that's good. But the thing is.

1:32:32 Adam I believe them.

1:32:33 Caller The thing is that.

1:32:34 Adam This is Jeff Fox.

1:32:36 Caller My wife is telling me that if I so much as look at another woman, that she's going to cut my thing off.

1:32:43 Adam Yeah.

1:32:44 Caller But then she turns around and says, oh, but you can sleep with my best friend.

1:32:47 Adam All right, but your wife has some serious issues.

1:32:49 Caller Oh, yeah, she has issues. Oh, yeah.

1:32:53 Adam Huge. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know they call those issues ish-me's. It's not about you, brother. It's about me. Yeah. Write that down, ish-me's. That's how you know, by the way, I'm not a horrible radio show host because I was one of those dried up prunes who was on the air at some point before. It's a Dr. Loris type. If they struck on the ish-me, they would write that down. Oh, my God. It posted up on the wall. They'd write a book with the ish-me as the cover. Okay, so here's the point. This chick's a piece of work. Yes. What Chris needs to do is not fall into any of her bizarre sexual traps.

1:33:31 Drew Mind fields.

1:33:32 Adam She's springing. Chris?

1:33:33 Caller Yeah.

1:33:33 Adam Just because it's the end of the night and I'm going to go home with a strong pain in my side, how many kids do you have?

1:33:39 Caller Well, she had one before we met and we have three since then.

1:33:43 Adam Oh, great. That's great. I can drive home. Now I can hold my side all the way home. No more kids, you mother. Oh, well, you know. Do you hear me? You two shouldn't raise goldfish. Please. What do you do? Drive a truck or hang drywall?

1:34:00 Caller I'm a security guard.

1:34:01 Adam Oh, my God. Please, Chris. No more kids. No more kids. I'm holding you personally accountable for every bank they rob, every liquor store they turn over, and every elderly person they beat at the ATM. Can you imagine that's daddy? Daddy and mommy. Daddy and mommy, everybody.

1:34:19 Drew That's all right.

1:34:19 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back after this.

1:34:26 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:34:29 Drew We'll be right back. Well, there you go, another show just flew by. Tomorrow night, Bad Religion, later in the week, Everclear. Adam flew the coop tonight, but I'm here, I'm Dr. Drew, and I'm telling you tonight, on Adam Corolla's behalf, good night and mahalo.

1:35:17 Adam Just keep it clean and go ahead and pimp them hoes.

1:35:21 Caller Ha ha, well now.

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Monday, April 24, 2000