Episode 1000754887514

2:07 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

2:09 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.

2:13 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

2:15 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

2:17 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

2:20 Voiceover Loveline.

2:21 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Yeah, Bad Religion is our guest tonight. They're running a little bit late, but they're going to be in here by the end of the first break. And we like those guys. I guess we haven't seen them in a long time. I'm going for almost a couple of years. Yeah. We have seen them quite a few times on the show before. Very smart, very eloquent guys and look forward. And a good band, by the way. So we look forward to them coming in tomorrow night. Race car driver Robbie Gordon will be in here. And Thursday, another band we like, Everclear, will be in here. So Drew, you went to the big bash at the House of Blues tonight for the drdrew.com send off party.

3:13 Bad Religion That's right, the drive me crazy send off.

3:16 Adam Drive me crazy.

3:17 Bad Religion Oh, yeah. Our users elected a girl to go off in a van in a road rules kind of thing and tour the country. And they leave in the morning.

3:25 Adam Oh, they leave in the morning.

3:26 Bad Religion They met at this party. They had not met till this party.

3:28 Adam Oh, really? And I thought this party was going to be like a ceremonial send off for them, like, you know, at the end of the party, the van drives away.

3:34 Bad Religion You know, there may be something like that. I'm not there. It wasn't my organized thing.

3:38 Adam So party's still going on.

3:40 Bad Religion Oh, yeah. A lot of interesting people, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Maher, Sugar Ray played.

3:45 Adam Yeah.

3:45 Bad Religion It's cool.

3:46 Adam Celebrities there. Howard Stern was there, right? Of course, the Emmy award winning Jimmy Kimmel.

3:51 Bad Religion And your illustrious Daniel Kalleson. Behind the scenes genius behind the man show.

3:56 Adam Huge talents. Huge talents, both those guys. I'm surprised they had graced you with their presence.

4:00 Bad Religion I think those were the guys that said hi to Adam.

4:03 Adam Open bar?

4:03 Drew Yeah.

4:04 Adam Oh.

4:05 Bad Religion Sorry, Adam.

4:05 Drew Any food?

4:07 Bad Religion There wasn't until Jimmy and Daniel got gone.

4:09 Adam I see. They ordered up a little chow, did they? They treat themselves and their bellies right. And their livers.

4:15 Bad Religion They had to get sort of like Flintstone sized cups of beer.

4:18 Adam Right.

4:18 Bad Religion It wasn't okay just to have the bottle.

4:21 Adam Sure. It's them. Pat O'Brien was there. Ali Landry.

4:25 Bad Religion Ali Landry was there, yeah.

4:27 Adam It was cool. Reylah Who's Who. And so you did a bunch of schmoozing. What's something like that cost?

4:34 Bad Religion I have no idea.

4:35 Adam No idea. And what do you pay Sugar Ray to play a gig like that?

4:39 Bad Religion I have no idea.

4:39 Adam You have no idea. But you figure they cut your break, right?

4:42 Bad Religion You would figure.

4:43 Adam You would figure.

4:44 Bad Religion Yeah.

4:44 Adam But you have no idea what something like that cost.

4:46 Bad Religion No.

4:46 Adam And how does it work? You know what I mean? I mean, do you get that kind of money back? I mean, we've got to be. You're talking about House of Blues, On Sunset, Renting a Place Out, Security, Open Bar, Sugar Ray.

4:58 Bad Religion Well, how do you get that back?

4:59 Adam Well, I mean, are you talking about 100 grand?

5:04 Bad Religion Easily.

5:05 Adam Easily. Maybe 150. I have no idea. I mean, I know it ain't 50. No. It's probably not 250. Could be 250. The point is, you run a business, you put a couple of hundred grand into something like that. Does it come back?

5:22 Bad Religion I don't know how it works. How much do people pay for a commercial?

5:25 Adam I know, but I don't understand that one either.

5:27 Bad Religion No, I don't either. I don't either.

5:28 Adam I don't understand. I've said it a hundred times. I know it works, so they wouldn't do it. I'm just saying personally, I don't understand how a company like Coke spends a couple million dollars for a space in the Super Bowl slot, and that's just for the slot producing these high profile ads is another couple million, I'm sure. And when as a company, that four or five million you just spent on that one spot in the Super Bowl so that some penguins could drink your product could have translated into a hundred new trucks that were bought outright. And why you go that route, when everyone knows who you are, I know people could explain it to me, and they're dying to, I don't want to hear it. It's just I can't understand it. And if I ran it, it wouldn't happen. We would have had that send-off party of yours, Drew, would have been at the Riverside IHOP. And you know who would have been playing there?

6:29 Bad Religion You and Jimmy. Oh, the Bitches of the Century.

6:31 Adam The man? No, no, too big, too big. Who played your high school prom? Jack Smack and the Sideburns or?

6:39 Bad Religion Snoddy Scotty and the Hankies.

6:42 Adam Snoddy Scotty and the Hankies would have played that Riverside IHOP that I had the big send-off party for. And I would have sent them in a rented van, like a rider panel van, no seats in the back. Jesus Christ. All right, so what are these kids gonna do on this Dr. drew.com send-off thing?

7:00 Bad Religion You know, give out condoms at colleges and interact with young people.

7:04 Adam Do they go across the country?

7:05 Bad Religion Yep, and they had an idea where they might even create a caravan.

7:09 Adam How long have they gone?

7:10 Bad Religion Three months. They'll be webcast every day.

7:12 Adam They crisscross the country?

7:14 Drew Yeah, colleges.

7:15 Adam Do you know all the colleges they're going to?

7:16 Bad Religion It's all planned out, yeah.

7:17 Adam You have no idea, though.

7:18 Drew I have no idea.

7:19 Adam And do they check in?

7:20 Bad Religion They'll be at UCLA tomorrow night.

7:22 Adam They will?

7:22 Drew Yeah.

7:23 Adam They check in every day?

7:24 Drew Oh, yeah.

7:25 Adam And are they a good-looking couple?

7:27 Bad Religion Of course.

7:28 Adam Yeah, you gotta have good-looking people.

7:32 Bad Religion Actually, they're not like model. They're very attractive people, and they're very nice people. They're very interesting people, so it'll be interesting to see. And people are waiting to see, what are they waiting to see with these two, right?

7:41 Adam They want to know when the raping begins.

7:44 Bad Religion Or when they kill each other.

7:45 Adam Oh, kill each other. Well, the raping will be just after the killing.

7:48 Drew Yeah.

7:49 Adam Is it technically rape if you kill the girl first?

7:51 Bad Religion I guess so.

7:52 Adam Is it still rape?

7:54 Bad Religion Maybe not.

7:54 Adam Let's look into that. If I was his attorney, I would argue no.

7:57 Bad Religion But the young lady is a little bit of a ball buster.

8:01 Adam Oh, really?

8:02 Bad Religion Oh, yeah. This is going to be good.

8:03 Adam Good times.

8:04 Bad Religion This is going to be good.

8:04 Adam All right. Well, I'm sorry I couldn't make it, but I had to eat and take a nap. Been out shooting Man Show Deodorant all day. I got home and I just couldn't pry myself off the sofa. I just don't like people.

8:16 Bad Religion I know that. I'm very, very acutely aware of that.

8:18 Adam What is wrong with me, Drew? I mean, this is a big star-studded event with free booze and all my friends and everything, and I just didn't want to go. Just the idea of seeing people I knew and standing and talking, it seemed painful to me. I could have went. It wasn't excruciating, it wasn't go to the dentist, just nothing in it, not attracted to it. I know what I love about you, Drew. I can do anything I want to you, you don't get pissed off. I mean, a lot of people would say, hey buddy, this is my big event. This is my big send-off party for my company. It was a $150,000, $200,000 event at the House of Blues. You should have been there to offer up a little support. It looked bad. My partner not showing up or something like that. But you know what I love about Drew?

9:00 Bad Religion Now I am pissed.

9:01 Adam Don't care.

9:01 Bad Religion I wasn't pissed. I haven't thought about it.

9:03 Adam It does. It looks a little bad. I mean, I'm pissed. Your partner.

9:06 Bad Religion You're going back there now.

9:08 Adam All right.

9:08 Bad Religion Making an appearance. But A, I know you.

9:11 Adam Right.

9:12 Bad Religion I know what I'm dealing with.

9:13 Adam Right.

9:13 Bad Religion B, I have too low self-esteem. I'm thinking about things I thought for myself.

9:16 Adam That's what I love about you. Let's keep it down. That's why I didn't show up tonight. I felt it was rising just a little bit. I want to knock it back down again. Sam?

9:24 Yes.

9:25 Adam You're 18. What's up?

9:27 Caller Well, I'm a senior in my high school. This girl just moved in from a different school.

9:33 Pretty close.

9:36 Caller She's been hanging out with me and my friends a lot. Basically, I just want to know, is it possible at 18 to really fall in love with somebody? Or is it just kind of a hormonal thing?

9:47 Adam Not before you get to know them or have some sort of relationship with them.

9:50 Bad Religion There can be very intense infatuation and attraction and all that stuff. It can feel like something you might call love, but there's not really a relationship yet. Okay. You can have very strong feelings.

10:02 Adam But here's the deal, Sam.

10:04 Bad Religion Yeah.

10:04 Adam Let her know about some of your feelings, not all the ones you claim to have. Let her know you'd like to take her out and ask her out before this thing gets too far down the road. Do you know what I'm saying?

10:15 Caller Yeah, definitely.

10:16 Adam Because you're one of these guys who's going to fall in love, you're going to hang back for three months. Eventually, when your friends is going to end updating her, you're going to start pouting, you're going to get weird.

10:25 Caller Well, except for the weird part, which I'm kind of worried about. Yeah, one of my friends, she was going out with some guy from school.

10:32 Bad Religion We know, because with Sam and I did it. That's why we know the story.

10:35 Adam Are you kidding? You know, I just had a flashback to something I did once. I liked this girl a lot when I was in high school. We ended up going out on a couple of dates, having a couple of nights together. No sex, a little screwing around and stuff, but I was so into her, and I loved her for like a year before and like a year after. She wore Ralph Lauren perfume, Lorraine, I think it was. It was very popular in, what was that, 1963, 64? No, this was...

11:07 Bad Religion 79.

11:07 Adam No, this was like 81 or something like that. Way off. I somehow found some of this stuff. I didn't go out and buy any of it, but somebody had...

11:14 Bad Religion The Corolla.

11:15 Adam Yeah, I didn't spend money on stuff, but somebody had some. I used to spray that on my wrist and sniff it while I was having myself. It was great.

11:22 Bad Religion You are a CF.

11:22 Adam Really? Don't you think that's just sort of... Don't you think that's sort of making lemonade out of lemons? You think that's weird?

11:31 Bad Religion Young?

11:32 Adam Is that weird?

11:32 Bad Religion I wonder if she would think it was weird. I think she'd feel about it.

11:40 Adam To me, it was like we were together. I mean, I don't know.

11:44 Bad Religion That's about as much of a person as you let in, so I could see how that would really be. This reminds me, I was talking to Bill Martin. He brought a girlfriend with him.

11:51 Asian?

11:53 Bad Religion No. Johnny Quest.

11:55 Adam Oh, nationality. Yeah. For those of you who don't know what we're talking about, if you ever watch the old cartoon Johnny Quest, they made it during an era where we were sort of done with World War II, done with Korea, starting to get involved with Vietnam, the Russians.

12:14 Bad Religion Middle East stuff.

12:15 Adam Pre-Middle East and sort of pre-Russia, like post-First Russia, but pre-Second, like Reagan Russia. And they couldn't figure out what color to make the villains. Because it's a layup when you're making a cartoon in the early 40s. You go Japanese, you go German. Now you go Middle Eastern. These guys are evil. And it was Russians in the 80s. But no one could figure it out. So it was this sort of mishmash, sort of dark-colored Filipino, Vietnamese, a little sprinkling of Arab and Russian in them. And so whenever there's a nationality, I can't figure out, like, all of the pharmacists over at the Rite Aid. I just always call it Johnny Quest villain nationality.

12:57 Bad Religion This was Johnny Quest nationality.

12:58 Adam It's some aft-up nationality. You don't know what it is.

13:00 Bad Religion Here's the shocking thing. Older than 15.

13:02 Drew Uh-oh.

13:03 Adam Huh? He's slipping.

13:05 Bad Religion Nice, intelligent person. Writing a book about relationships.

13:08 Adam Oh, my God.

13:09 Bad Religion Bill Maher.

13:10 Adam She's got to make short work of him. That's just for tonight, though. He has another date for tomorrow. Actually, later tonight. Eric?

13:18 Yes.

13:18 Adam You're 31.

13:19 Caller Yes, I am.

13:20 Adam What's up?

13:21 Caller Well, I have a question here for Dr. Drew. Yeah. I went to the doctor here last Friday. Well, a couple days prior, I had noticed a cut on inside my urethra.

13:37 Bad Religion Inside or just at sort of the corner?

13:39 Caller It is kind of, I mean, if you pull it apart, you can see it.

13:42 Drew Cut. All right.

13:43 Caller Okay.

13:44 Drew It is on both sides.

13:45 Caller I asked if you could pass a stone or what not to actually cut like that. He said it's impossible.

13:53 Bad Religion It's not impossible, but it doesn't usually cut you like that.

13:57 Caller He had no explanation, but I am through an HMO, so actually trying to get referred with is very difficult.

14:02 Drew Oh boy.

14:03 Adam Well, you don't think it's a sexually transmitted disease?

14:08 Caller He had a spiked infection. He's given me antibiotics for it, which has pretty much cleared that up.

14:14 Bad Religion Well, have you had a new sexual partner?

14:16 Caller It's been probably two months.

14:19 Adam Didn't I ask him a question about-

14:21 Bad Religion He just wanted me to pass it in here.

14:22 Adam Oh, he just kept moving, huh? Smart.

14:24 Bad Religion Keep moving. And what were you treated with?

14:27 Caller Oh, my God.

14:30 Bad Religion Tetracycline?

14:31 Caller Tequin.

14:32 Bad Religion Tequin. OK. Wow.

14:34 Adam Let me ask you again. Hey, Eric. Yes. This is one of the hosts of the show, Adam Carolla.

14:41 I know who you are. I'm a long-time listener.

14:43 Adam OK. Do you think it was a sexually transmitted disease?

14:46 Caller They did a culture and they could not find anything.

14:49 Bad Religion Did it get better on the Tequin?

14:50 Adam Do you think it is? Were you with somebody recently?

14:54 Caller Well, I have been, but no, I don't think so.

14:57 Bad Religion OK. And did it hurt when you urinated?

14:59 Caller No, it did not hurt at all.

15:00 Bad Religion And did they do any blood work on you?

15:02 Caller No, they did not.

15:04 Bad Religion And it didn't extend to the outside. It stayed all on the inside, right?

15:07 Caller Well, like I said, if you, you know...

15:08 Bad Religion You have to pull it apart to see it.

15:10 Caller You can see it, but you can't tell how deep the cut goes. And it is on both sides.

15:14 Bad Religion Hold on. If it didn't hurt, why did you even notice it?

15:16 Caller It got infected a little bit. I actually noticed a little bit of a...

15:21 Bad Religion Burning with urination.

15:22 Caller Discharge.

15:23 Bad Religion Discharge. I bet you this is an STD. And did it get better with the Tec one?

15:29 Caller The infection has stopped, but my question that really, it really starts to bother me is the healing is not, it doesn't appear to be healing.

15:36 Adam Well, here's the problem. You've got to stay off that urethra. You can't pee for a week or so.

15:41 Bad Religion No, you can't, yeah.

15:42 Adam I can't?

15:42 Bad Religion In fact, I pee regularly and well.

15:44 Adam Oh, really? All right, drink a lot of beer.

15:46 Bad Religion And alcohol kind of irritates it further, but I bet you it's an STD.

15:50 Adam Why are you surprised that he got the Tec one?

15:52 Bad Religion It's a brand new antibiotic. It's pretty, eh, not that expensive.

15:55 Adam A little expensive? Tec one doh?

15:57 Bad Religion Tec one a day.

15:59 Adam Oh, I see. That is a little expensive Asian humor there.

16:03 Bad Religion I almost got it.

16:03 Adam Is it doh?

16:04 Bad Religion Yeah.

16:04 Adam Like money?

16:05 Drew Yeah.

16:05 Adam Tec one doh?

16:06 Drew Ah.

16:08 Adam You see what I'm saying? Like Tec one doh?

16:10 Drew Got it.

16:10 Adam Right.

16:11 Bad Religion I'm with you.

16:12 Adam Destiny? Yeah. I was lying in bed rolling around last night trying to sleep when I was thinking about you, Drew, and I was saying to Drew yesterday on the show, Destiny, I was pointing at my face and I was saying, what is this, Drew? What is this? Because as you know, my face is the cash register. And I said, what is this? And my finger, my index finger is about four or five inches away from my face and I was just sort of pointing at my face and Drew said, nose. And I said, no, what is this? And he said, eyes. And then I started sort of circling my face with my finger. No, no, no, the whole thing. Head. And I thought, oh, Christ Almighty, how I can't work with this guy. How can I work with him?

16:50 Bad Religion You understand, all the stuff you don't think I'm getting pissed off at you about, that's how I get back at you. Keep you up all night.

16:57 Adam I swear to God, I was thinking about that while I was trying to sleep last night. I was thinking, what could I have done that was different that would have clued him in to say face, but I realize now nothing. Don't blame yourself. All right, Destiny, what's up?

17:11 I met my fiance in November of 98, and we decided that I should get on a birth control method, so I decided to go with the Depro Prevara shot. I was only on it for the first shot, and we decided that we were going to try to have children. And the first shot is only supposed to last three months. I went back March 27th and they did a pap smear and everything on me and checked everything, checked for STDs and Aids and all that other crap. And from that time up until now, or actually two months after that, I was unable to have a period.

17:46 Bad Religion That's sort of common after the progesterone shot.

17:48 Well, then I finally did, and now we're trying to have children and I can't get pregnant.

17:53 Bad Religion That doesn't have anything to do with the progesterone.

17:55 It doesn't have nothing to do with it.

17:56 Adam Are you married yet?

17:58 I'm getting married May 3rd.

18:00 Adam Why don't you wait till you get married? I mean, just for the kid's sake, you can say he or she was born after you were married, or at least they're conceived after you were married.

18:09 Bad Religion That isn't a concept the young people, they don't know what you're talking about.

18:12 Adam You know what's weird is it's just sort of neither here nor there. I mean, back in the day, it was considered scandalous if you conceived. I mean, here's the point. If you got married and eight and a half months later, you had a kid.

18:26 Bad Religion Disgrace. The whole family.

18:28 Adam Well, you didn't kill yourselves, but, you know.

18:31 Bad Religion Depends on what your ethnicity was.

18:32 Adam Not so long ago in this country, it was considered a little bit of a scandal.

18:37 Bad Religion Not a little bit.

18:38 Adam Yeah. I'm saying not so long ago, it was a little bit of a scandal, and quite some time ago, it was a big deal. But the point is now, even though you're planning on getting married, you're still trying like hell to conceive before you get married.

18:53 Bad Religion How long have they tried?

18:54 Adam I don't care.

18:54 Bad Religion I've got one question. It's for humor. It'll be like three weeks.

18:57 Adam Destiny? How long?

19:01 No.

19:02 Adam How long have you tried to conceive?

19:04 Well, we've only tried like five times.

19:08 Adam All right.

19:09 Bad Religion In what period of time?

19:12 We tried last month and like four other times in between.

19:16 Bad Religion How long a period of time have you been trying to get pregnant?

19:19 Basically about a year.

19:20 Bad Religion A year?

19:21 Adam You said you only tried five times.

19:23 I'm not very big on having sex a lot.

19:27 Bad Religion Well, that's why you're not getting pregnant, okay?

19:30 Adam All right. Loosen up, baby. I think I know what his destiny is. Give himself a hand job in the bathroom when he gets home from work. That's his destiny. All right, Destiny. Enjoy. Listen, I don't even want to get into it anymore.

19:46 Bad Religion I recoil now against that sometimes.

19:48 Adam I don't like sex very much. You're like, good. Enjoy. God bless. That's your own cadence.

19:53 Bad Religion To eat your own.

19:54 Adam Moving on.

19:55 Bad Religion It's almost a relief. That's the direction she's gone.

19:57 Adam Yeah. I don't want to know what's behind it though. Stan?

20:01 Yeah.

20:01 Adam You're 20.

20:02 Caller Yeah. How are you?

20:03 Adam Good.

20:03 Bad Religion Oh, I know what I heard tonight that killed me. Speaking of recoiling, Jimmy regaled me with the story of how it was that he made that montage footage with him and the chimpanzee.

20:13 Adam Yeah.

20:14 Bad Religion That it was a male monkey.

20:15 Adam Oh, yes. It did achieve an erection at a certain point. We're talking about the Miami Award-winning partner, Jimmy Kimmel did a little bit with a monkey this year, which turned out to be hysterical. Bill Maher was in it as well. We don't want to give away too many jokes, but it was really hysterical. I brought in the show, Drew, and I guess Jimmy told him a few details that were...

20:40 Bad Religion Well, part of it, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, and the other hard part, I fell back, recoiling, actually fell over Lycus' desk, trying to just shield my eyes from the screen.

20:49 Adam It was not right. Not for a religious, God-fearing man like Jimmy. All right, Stan, now what's up?

20:55 Caller Well, the other day in Time Magazine, I was reading an article, and it was talking about how they had recently come out with a gel of testosterone, and recently the method has been either oral pill or an injection, or like a patch that they put on the scrotum.

21:10 Bad Religion Well, there's a patch for the scrotum, and the scrotum is also a TTS patch, which you can put on your shoulder, and there's the gel. The cream and gel have been around for a while.

21:19 Adam Well, apparently, it's in vogue now, or it's more accessible, or something like that. Yes, I'd like to use that gel to masturbate with. Imagine what kind of testosterone rush you'd get with that stuff.

21:33 Bad Religion So what's the question?

21:34 Caller I think you might lose your mind.

21:34 Adam Stan, did you read that article?

21:36 Caller I did read it.

21:37 Adam Did you read the entire article?

21:39 Caller I read it up to the part where they started talking about taking different types of weight gaining stuff. It was a whole different separate article.

21:45 Bad Religion So is this some of the...

21:46 Adam Did you read the part that quoted me in it?

21:50 Caller I don't know. What were you trying to say?

21:52 Adam Well you would have seen my name.

21:54 Caller Okay.

21:55 Adam So you didn't see that?

21:56 Caller No, I didn't.

21:57 Adam All right.

21:57 Caller I was mainly looking for the effects and the side effects of the different types of...

22:00 Bad Religion What was your quote, by the way?

22:02 Adam I don't remember what the quote was, but basically there was a sort of a follow up page written a couple of pages down from that.

22:08 Bad Religion What is he reading?

22:09 Adam This is Time Magazine. Wait, wait.

22:11 Bad Religion Was it in Time?

22:12 Adam It was in last week's Time.

22:14 Bad Religion Put him up again.

22:14 Adam Well, hold on a second.

22:15 Bad Religion Make sure he was reading that, I was saying.

22:16 Adam He was reading that.

22:17 Bad Religion You're reading in Time Magazine?

22:19 Adam Yeah. It's on the cover. Big brawny guy talks about the testosterone. Don't say the S word, you retard.

22:28 Bad Religion Stan, listen. Wait, wait, wait. Stan.

22:30 Adam Would you shut up, Drew, with this goddamn thing? Tell him what you want to tell him. Why do you have to freak?

22:36 Bad Religion I want to know what he read that led him to believe the gel was something new. We've been using the gel and the cream for a while, and what he's up to, that a young healthy male would even consider taking this crap.

22:44 Adam They stated, or the way they said it in this article, that this gel was a new thing, that it had not been around, and maybe it's a new way, and what about this testosterone?

22:58 Bad Religion It's for people that their body isn't producing normal amounts of testosterone.

23:03 Adam All right, but what about using it like people use a supplement?

23:07 Bad Religion That is the way to get hardening of the arteries, heart attacks, strokes, liver disease, kidney disease.

23:13 Adam Well, what about some? I mean, what about moderation?

23:16 Bad Religion You can do only harm. There's no way it's going to do any good.

23:19 Adam Here's what I'm saying, Drew. I read part of the article. Of course, I got bored. I went to the part where they talked to me because they called me up and they wanted to ask me about the testosterone because, allegedly, I produce it.

23:32 Bad Religion You load it with it, yeah.

23:33 Adam Although, I'm now on to estrogen. A switch was flipped many years ago. But the point is, I'm lactating now, Drew. Do you know that?

23:41 Bad Religion You were at that age.

23:42 Adam You know what comes out of my penis now?

23:44 Bad Religion Milk.

23:44 Adam That's right. It's no longer semen. I tasted it the other day.

23:47 Bad Religion Well, you've been...

23:48 Adam I put it in my cereal. I ran low. I don't like my coffee black. I masturbate right into the mug.

23:54 Bad Religion You've been milking it for so many years.

23:56 Adam There you go. I finally started. Good boy. My penis has now become an utter. Here's the point. They basically said in this article, and like I said, I didn't read the whole thing, but they said that your body as a male, you start producing testosterone around puberty. Then by the time you turn 30, it starts to slow down a little bit, and eventually you start to cut production of it. They theorize that this is part of the aging process, and part of what helps the aging process or causes the aging process.

24:28 Bad Religion No, I agree. I am a fan of testosterone replacement, meaning replacing what your body isn't making anymore. But a 20-year-old does not need replacement.

24:35 Adam All right. But what about you? What about me?

24:38 Bad Religion It's a point of contention. If you were 60 and to ask him about this, I'd say maybe.

24:42 Adam Well, what about doing it now at 35, so that when you're 60, it seems like you're 35.

24:48 Bad Religion I have no good science to back up my opinion, but it seems to me that there would be a reasonable amount of risk in doing that. Being on testosterone for 40 years?

24:57 Adam What about doing it for five years from 40 to 45 and then?

25:02 Bad Religion I would be more in favor doing it from 60 to 80.

25:04 Adam Listen, I don't care. I'm getting a calf implants. I'm dying my hair.

25:07 Bad Religion And you're going to get testosterone?

25:08 Adam And I'm getting a testosterone gel?

25:10 Bad Religion You're done. I have you killed. I'm having you killed. You're done. You always told me to have you killed when this happens to you.

25:16 Adam I'm getting a cleft put into my chin.

25:18 Bad Religion Oh, it's all done.

25:19 Adam I'm sewing a hardshell taco into my chin. I'm getting the calf implants, the pec implants.

25:25 Bad Religion Well, now you have so much money now. You can just do this.

25:27 Adam Well, I'm a millionaire. Literally a millionaire. Thanks, Drew. And what is this, Drew?

25:32 Drew Your face. Your cash register.

25:35 Adam That is the cash register, please. All right, we're going to take ourselves a little break. I see Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion.

25:42 Drew Oh, good.

25:42 Adam He's been wandering around back there for a few minutes. And we'll bring him in and talk to him all after this.

25:51 This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Oh, we'll be right back.

26:32 Adam Yeah, it's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Everclear will be in here a little bit later this week. We have a Greg Graffin in here tonight, representing Bad Religion. Good to see you.

26:46 Caller Thank you very much. I'm representing.

26:49 Adam It's been a while. I'm just asking Drew when the last time you're in here was.

26:53 Caller I think it was probably two years ago, and I believe that Adam, you were absent. Oh, really? It was one of those nights where you were absent. They needed someone to fill in, and I took the opportunity, and Dr. Drew was confident when he heard that we were coming in.

27:12 Adam Oh, yes. I do recall that. I remember the strategy was, we're trying to get the kids from Black Grape to come in. Turns out they were drunk and high on Abba Zabba, and their words were unintelligible, at least over the phone, so we called on Bad Religion. No, but I remember that because I wasn't going to be around for some reason. I was doing something, but the thought was, Bad Religion, these guys are smart. They're usually not drunk and high.

27:39 Caller We had all your good qualities.

27:41 Adam Yeah. And, geez, now it seems like I should be able to make a record.

27:45 Caller Exactly.

27:46 Adam Life is not fair. But anyway, The New America is the name of the CD. It is out May 9th, so that's coming up. That's my sister's birthday, by the way. I'm sure you guys knew about that.

27:58 Caller We were planning around that.

28:01 Adam I was looking at-

28:02 Bad Religion When's your birthday?

28:03 Adam May 27th. I was looking at all the Bad Religion albums over the years, and I got up to 17. Although, yeah.

28:14 Caller It's a one in a long line of traditional albums that we're putting out. But that was one of the concerns too, because when a kid goes to the store, there are people every year who have never heard of Bad Religion. They go to the store and they're like, and they say, which record am I going to buy? It's really tough to get their attention focused on the new one that's coming out. So this time we're doing a little promotion idea. I don't think any other band has ever done it, where if you buy the new record, you get to see the band for free.

28:49 Adam Really?

28:50 Caller Yeah. Because it's all we could do to focus them on the new record, because there's so many records in the bins.

28:56 Adam Right.

28:57 Caller So you buy the new record, you send the proof of purchase, and we send you a ticket to our concert.

29:04 Adam That's a good idea.

29:05 Caller Yeah. It's going on all over the country. And so if you, you know, because one of our best attributes is our live show.

29:13 Adam And it sounds, I mean, it doesn't sound like a great moneymaker for you, although if it gets people to buy a ton more records, then I guess it will be. But it's interesting that no one has ever done this.

29:25 Caller I know. It seems too simple. It does seem simple. And it's because a lot of bands don't want to use their, maybe they don't want to bank on their live credibility.

29:35 Adam Right.

29:35 Caller But we know that that's one of the coveted things is our live show. So we were willing to sort of lose money in the live arena to focus people on the purchase of the new record. And we stand behind it too. I mean, that's the other thing.

29:53 Adam Again is out on May 9th. And I think we talked about, you grew up around here. I think we went to Walter Reed Jr. High.

30:02 Caller Yeah. No, no, I went to Hale.

30:04 Adam Oh, you didn't go to Walter Reed.

30:05 Caller No, you went to Walter Reed.

30:07 Adam That's right.

30:07 Caller But Hale is, you were our rivals. I went to Hale Jr. High and Woodland Hills and El Camino out there.

30:15 Adam That's Alan Hale, the skipper on.

30:18 Bad Religion And El Camino.

30:19 Adam Yeah, we went to El Camino. Yeah. We used to play them in football. They used to kick our ass.

30:24 Caller Well, actually, the football players used to kick my ass. But I don't. Well, I didn't know who we played. They just played me.

30:31 Adam Let me tell you something. Because I played football for North Hobbit High and we stunk in a big way. A lot of guys always think the football players bully them on campus. What do you see what they do to guys on the other team? They think they're kicking your ass. They're legitimately in an organized fashion, methodically kicking our ass.

30:50 Caller But it's not because you had purple hair, though.

30:52 Adam No, that's true.

30:54 Caller They were a little bit more violent.

30:56 Adam I think it was the husky blue and gray that set them off. But anyway, El Camino is out in the West Valley. I was more out in the East Valley. Right. Bad Religion. Buy that CD on May 9th and go see them for free. And another thing that just popped into my head. We play this bumper or drop or whatever you call it in radio. I still haven't quite figured it out. It's a song by our favorite band, Drew. What would that band be?

31:23 Bad Religion Pennywise.

31:24 Adam Pennywise. Right. And I heard this song and I liked this song and I liked the riff and everything. And but I started thinking about Bad Religion when I heard it. And I thought about, well, just listen. I thought about going for a walk.

31:42 Caller Well, you know, Pennywise are friends of friends of ours. And there's hardly any bands out there who haven't opened for Bad Religion at one time or another.

31:51 Bad Religion Pennywise has friends?

31:53 Caller And that while, you know, they were on our record label over there at Appetaph Records. So you're not going to get me to. I know that you guys have a history with Pennywise. Yeah, I'm not going to.

32:04 Bad Religion We don't dislike them, but we do have a history.

32:07 Adam Go get the trophy with Fletcher Vomit in it and show it to Greg. Have you seen this?

32:12 Caller I've heard it, actually.

32:14 Adam Yeah, but you need to see the trophy. It was a Stanley.

32:17 Bad Religion I didn't know about the follow-up experience.

32:19 Adam Go get the trophy, Drew. It is a Stanley Cup-sized trophy that Fletcher brought to Drew on his second or third encounter with him, the one where he promised not to drink into mindless manners, although that all once now. Yeah. Well, let's just show Greg this. Now, on the top of that is a nice cup, which many trophies have, although this one has resin over the top of it, and there's vomit in that cup. Let's hear Pennywise's first appearance here on Loveline many years ago.

33:21 Caller Okay, bye.

33:22 Yes, Love Line is over.

33:25 Drew It's not our fault.

33:26 We have a big ugly man in our guitar band.

33:48 Bad Religion Fletcher.

33:49 Adam Fletcher. The third corner, Drew, was for Jack Dalton.

33:53 Bad Religion But that was a minor league. You know what happened when he came back?

33:56 Caller No, I didn't.

33:56 Bad Religion He didn't know about the follow-up.

33:58 Caller The follow-up.

33:58 Adam He tried to take us to Pooh Pooh City.

34:00 Caller Oh, man.

34:01 Bad Religion And then held us hostage and threatened to kill us.

34:03 Adam You ever been to Pooh Pooh City, Greg?

34:05 Caller No.

34:05 Adam No, it's not a nice, I hadn't been there since high school.

34:09 Bad Religion And when the SWAT team surrounded the studio, he announced that he had a grenade that he was gonna.

34:13 Adam Yeah, he had all the Culver City PD, was about eight guys on the other side of this wall over here. He had been blocking the door. He wasn't letting anyone out.

34:23 Bad Religion Beat the crap out of his own security guard.

34:24 Adam His own guy put his head to the door and he rung it like a bell. It was great. Just bing, bing, bing between the door and the door jams. Just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And then shoved the guy out. And that was a friend of his. That was great. He said, no one's getting out of here.

34:38 Bad Religion Nobody's getting out of here. Nobody's going out live. Right.

34:41 Adam He didn't say live.

34:42 Caller I have a question. When are they on again?

34:46 Bad Religion Oh, and what's that schedule up for?

34:48 Adam Following Monday. All right. So, well, is Fletcher, is he sober now or he's on to beer or what?

34:56 Bad Religion He went to some meetings.

34:57 Adam Did he get hit in the head or something?

34:58 Bad Religion He went to some meetings as a result of that experience. But how much commitment he has to sobriety remains to be seen.

35:03 Adam Wow. I'll tell you.

35:04 Drew Poor Fletch.

35:06 Adam Poor society. Are you kidding?

35:08 Poor Fletch.

35:09 Adam Well, there's poor bands. I have to tour with them and everything. Oh, Christ. All right. Anyway, let's not digress too much. We'll hop on the phones and then we're going to hear something new from Bad Religion too. Jack?

35:22 Hello?

35:23 Adam You're 18. What's up?

35:25 Caller My brother basically went around my back and stole my girlfriend.

35:30 Bad Religion Your brother?

35:32 Caller Yeah. Actually, it's kind of funny because he's my identical twin.

35:35 Adam Oh.

35:36 Bad Religion We hear about twins doing that once in a while.

35:38 Adam Did she know it was him?

35:40 Caller Yeah. I'm positive it was him.

35:41 Bad Religion No, no. Did she know it was him?

35:43 Caller Oh.

35:44 Bad Religion We know you know it was him.

35:45 Caller Yeah. She knows it was him. I'm a little bit heftier than he is.

35:48 Adam I see. All right.

35:49 Caller Well. There's a pretty big difference and personality wise too.

35:54 Adam I see.

35:54 Bad Religion He's the evil twin.

35:56 Caller Actually, yeah.

35:57 Caller Yeah.

35:58 Adam Okay. Hey, are you going to... I never asked this question with identical twins, but how about the penis? Same size? Of course. I swear to God, I'd kill my brother if I had nothing. He had a huge dung and we were identical twins. I'd kill him.

36:12 Caller To tell you the truth, I really don't know.

36:14 Adam You don't know?

36:14 Caller No, I've never bothered to look.

36:16 Adam Ask your ex-girlfriend.

36:18 Caller I never compared my penis to my brother's either. So you do that kind of thing.

36:23 Adam I would. I don't have a brother.

36:25 Caller Okay.

36:26 Adam I would if I had one. But if I had an identical twin brother, we looked exactly the same physically, we were the same physically, except for he had a huge dung, I would kill him. Then I'd turn the penis on myself.

36:40 Caller I just feel a little bit weird, I think.

36:42 Adam Yeah, I think you should. All right, so anyway, he showed his colors and she showed her colors.

36:47 Bad Religion She's gone. And he...

36:51 Adam Who are you madder at, her or him?

36:53 Caller I think both of them actually, because I was pretty sure that this was going to happen and I warned them both and asked them both not to. And they went ahead and did it anyways.

37:04 Adam And why...

37:05 Bad Religion That really sucks.

37:06 Adam What is up where you said to your own brother and your girlfriend, hey, listen, I see what's going on here, please don't have an affair with my brother. And that's kind of strange, isn't it?

37:16 Caller Well, he has done it once before. Oh, boy. Not quite as serious. It was just like, you know, made out with her.

37:23 Bad Religion Why is he such a hateful person, you think?

37:25 Caller I have no clue.

37:26 Bad Religion Mom liked you better?

37:27 Caller We're like best buds most of the time.

37:29 Caller Well, one thing is that it probably isn't... I think the fact that you're twins isn't really as relevant as the fact that you're brothers. I mean, a lot of... I've heard a lot of stories about brothers who are not twins doing the same kind of thing. And it doesn't make it hurt any less. But if you take that out of your mind for a second and just realize it's probably not because you're your identical twins.

37:54 Bad Religion Do you think your parents show any favoritism at all?

37:59 Caller Yeah, towards my little brother, actually.

38:01 Drew Oh, it's him.

38:02 Bad Religion Away from the twins, you mean? How about between the twins?

38:06 Adam Well, hold on. Jack, listen, forget it. You're moving out of the house soon enough, right?

38:12 Caller Yeah, going off to college.

38:13 Adam Good, go off to college.

38:14 Bad Religion Not the same college as your brother?

38:16 Caller No, actually, way apart, four hours apart.

38:18 Bad Religion There may be hope for your relationship.

38:21 Adam Just move away and the best revenge is a successful life. You'll be fine.

38:26 Caller Yeah, I'm just curious, though. I've still got a half a summer with him and I'm just curious what should I do? Should I not talk to him, not talk to her?

38:35 Bad Religion The healthiest thing, obviously, would be to hash it out, but don't talk to her. She's done.

38:39 Adam Yeah.

38:40 Bad Religion But I know how I would be and it would be too painful to deal with. I'd have to cool down for quite a while.

38:46 Caller Yeah, just focus on college.

38:47 Bad Religion Yeah.

38:48 Adam All right.

38:49 Bad Religion Could you talk to him after all that?

38:50 Adam No, especially after the second time.

38:52 Bad Religion No, it'd be like, that's it, I'm done.

38:54 Adam And listen, I would kick his ass, I really would. Brothers always kick each other's asses, you know what I mean? They don't look at each other as men or foes. There's no danger. You'll take a swing at your brother. Or it's like one of your best friends. I'm sure if, you know, Mike Tyson has a younger brother, goes 137 pounds, or actually an older brother, he probably thinks he could still give a good ass whoopin to him. You know, don't get him pissed. And Tyson's probably scared of him. You know what I mean? There's no, I don't know where that fear, some of the fear I think you have, you know where the fear of other guys comes in? It's the unfamiliarity. When you grow up with someone, you think you can kill them. Except for Fletcher. I'm now familiar with Fletcher and more scared of him. He's the one exception.

39:41 Bad Religion I'm getting increasingly pissed off at you, though, Adam. I'm beginning to think that the only guy that stood me up in the recent months, as rudely as you, is Mike Tyson.

39:47 Adam Oh, yeah, he didn't do your website.

39:49 Bad Religion You're thinking of yourself just about as grandiose term as he sees himself.

39:52 Adam I got just as much gold in my teeth, too. Samantha? Yes?

39:56 Bad Religion We've got to go to break.

39:57 Adam All right. Let me ask you a question. I don't want to sound racist, but you know, black guys get a lot of gold in their teeth? Do dentists say, here's a black guy, I'm going to put some gold in his teeth, or do they ask for it? You know what I'm saying?

40:09 Bad Religion I got a bunch of gold in my teeth.

40:11 Adam Really? But not like the front tooth.

40:13 Bad Religion No.

40:13 Adam I mean, what I'm saying is, does the dentist go, I got these gold caps, I've been waiting on load for a long time, here comes a black guy, I'm going to move some of these?

40:22 Caller Yeah. Well, same way dentists look at white guys and go, you know what I'm going to do is make his teeth even whiter. I mean, you don't see many black guys getting their teeth whitened, which is really ridiculous.

40:34 Adam They don't have to though, because it's a relative thing. They look white. And I don't think that's a racist statement, but let's face it, you take something that's close to white and put it against a darker shade, and it's going to look that much whiter.

40:46 Caller Well, as dumb as...

40:48 Adam Plus, they're not big coffee drinkers. And the menthol cigarettes they smoke don't stain the teeth as much. Very true. Good point, Greg. Very valid. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break, and we'll be back, hear something new from Bad Religion, and speak to Samantha, who is 25, and was told to douche with mouthwash after this.

41:13 Caller Loveline will be right back.

41:47 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-E-V-E-1-9-1. Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion.

41:55 Bad Religion Daniel Kelson is not Emmy Award-winning, is he? Nobody that talks that loud and that rambling.

41:59 Adam Well, he was drunk.

42:00 Bad Religion Oh my God.

42:01 Adam Still enjoying.

42:02 Bad Religion He grabbed me at the party and said, everything Adam says about me, it's a lie. It's just for effect. And then he tells me what he tells you.

42:07 Adam Still enjoying the Dr. drew.com party.

42:09 Bad Religion Is he having a good time? Did you ask him?

42:11 Adam I didn't have to ask. I could barely understand him.

42:13 Oh my God.

42:17 Adam You know, guys get drunk. Loud drunk. They talk in the cell phone, but the cell phone is sort of, they look at it as sort of a hearing aid, which is, you know, it's still important that you can hear their voice faintly from across the town, I think is the angle, but we'll check back with him. Samantha?

42:36 Yes.

42:36 Adam All right. So you're 25.

42:38 Caller Hi, guys.

42:39 Adam Hey.

42:39 Caller I had a question, but first I want to say the San Francisco station that carries your show, they moved it to midnight.

42:48 Bad Religion I heard that.

42:49 Caller And it sucks.

42:51 Bad Religion Write them a letter. They respond to those letters.

42:54 Adam They do? All right. Write them a letter. All right.

42:57 Caller Anyway, someone told me that I could use Tom's natural mouthwash and either douche with it or do an enema with it, and I want to keep that safe.

43:09 Adam Yeah.

43:09 Bad Religion I'm just for a moment imagining what the end, the sort of goal of that sort of hygiene is.

43:16 Adam Why is that? Why would you want to do that?

43:18 Caller So that it's tastier down there.

43:20 Bad Religion That's what I figured. This is what we call hygiene, hijinks.

43:23 Adam Yeah. You have like gingivitis in your anus or what? Gingianus? No. No.

43:30 Caller Or do you think that naturally it doesn't taste good enough?

43:34 Caller No, naturally it's fine. It would just be tastier, be minty.

43:39 Caller You know, I have this idea that I think most people in our society are taught that that whole area is dirty and it probably comes from a religious background. I don't buy it though.

43:53 Bad Religion I don't think that you need to think that this is why, Adam, that the olfactory senses of an animal are 10,000 times greater than a male as human than a human and they have no problem digging their nose into these things. It's because of how we were raised.

44:08 Caller But is it?

44:09 Bad Religion It keeps us from it.

44:10 Adam Well, listen, I tell you, I would worry as a woman that if it got too pleasant and too tasty down there that some drunk guy might just take a bite out of me.

44:20 Caller That's not a bad idea.

44:21 Caller But yeah, then it's your problem for inviting him that close anyway.

44:25 Adam That's right. They don't have any hoagie-flavored douche yet, do they? All right. Hey, Samantha? Yes. Do you think you have a problem down there that requires this?

44:36 Caller Not at all. I just-

44:37 Adam Well, then don't sweat it.

44:37 Bad Religion It's not good for you. It's not going to be good for you, okay? Okay. Especially the vaginal douching is something you should do on a limited basis.

44:44 Caller Okay. It's not the same appetite that drives the sexual urge and the food urge. They're two separate instincts.

44:53 Bad Religion It's a nice that you're considerate. Nice touch, but it's okay really. All right.

44:58 Adam Thanks. That's all right. I don't mind knowing where I am. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to think I'm in the dentist chair. I don't want to think that-

45:08 Bad Religion Where am I now?

45:08 Adam Oh. I'm in the bathroom on a plane or something. I like to know where I am. You know where you are when a woman lets herself, especially after plays a couple of sets of tennis or something. And heads back into the locker room. Alright. We're going to hear something from Bad Religion. That's what we're going to do. Alright. This is off of the new CD, The New America, which is out May 9th. And this one is called New America. There you go, New America from The New America, which is Bad Religion, out May 9th. My sister's birthday, everybody. Buy a new CD and go see a Bad Religion concert for free, and watch them in the place they were meant to be, which is on stage. We will take ourselves a quick break and we'll be back after this.

49:23 Caller Loveline will be right back.

49:57 Adam It's the Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout for a little affiliate identification. We'll be right back in just 10 seconds.

50:21 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion. The New America is the name of the CD, out May 9th. Buy it and go see Bad Religion for free. I just got off the phone with my buddy Daniel, who's loaded and still to drdrew.com. Shindig.

50:41 Drew Have fun.

50:44 Adam Yep. He is very, very drunk and up in the foundation room or something at the House of Blues. And trouble, though, Cousin Sal, which is Jimmy's trouble making cousin, is wearing a name tag that says Dr. Mort Pinsky, which I know is your dad. So either as I fear the worst for him. Sal could have rolled him and taken his name tag. I don't know if he left the party early and left the name tag behind, but Cousin Sal has now adopted the identity of Dr. Mort Pinsky and is probably giving out advice as we speak.

51:19 Bad Religion You know what's interesting about Jimmy and Sal? I greeted them both simultaneously and shook their hands. They both have tiny hands.

51:26 Adam Yep.

51:26 Bad Religion Tiny.

51:27 Adam Yep. It helps them get their hands down their pants that much faster, whereas you and I have done butt in our pants to get our hands down our pants. They slide down like ferrets. Also apparently, Drew, your wife's new drink is a Red Bull and Vodka. Now, isn't Red Bull some sort of health drink or something?

51:47 Bad Religion Yeah. I heard somebody talking about that.

51:48 Caller It's a European drink that I get a lot on tour when we're over there. It's from Austria. And what is it? It's pure fructose. It's like a supercharged fructose drink that's just, it goes right into your system. And they call it an energy drink, which is just, you're getting a sugar high.

52:08 Adam Yeah, I tasted some of it once and it struck me as boy, this can't be good for you.

52:14 Caller Oh no, but they loaded up with vitamin B, so they can claim it.

52:18 Drew There you go.

52:19 Adam So anyway, you're an Austrian fructose-laden health drink with Kamchatka that your wife is now flying high on. Oh boy, is she gonna give you a good ass. Is she gonna blow your penis off or just kick your ass around the estate as one or the other, maybe both tonight, Drew. So you got that waiting for you when you get home. Is she gonna find her own way home?

52:43 Bad Religion Yeah.

52:44 Adam She'll be there waiting?

52:45 Bad Religion I don't know. I may get home before.

52:47 Adam Listen, here's my advice to you, Drew. During the next break, go to the bathroom sink, wash your junk because there's gonna be some loving when you get home. I know your wife, I know she's hopped up on Red Bull and smear it off. Something's gonna happen when you get home, believe me. John, isn't it weird when chicks, especially women, I don't know why it's always a little disconcerting, especially when you're stone cold sober once in a while. And it's probably happened to me like three or four times in my life. But I've come home to a drunken woman who was amorous. And it's weird when you're sober and they start acting like a guy and you don't know what it is. They go, where did you get those new pants? They look good on you. And you go, huh? They go, come here. And you go, what? Well, hold on. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Come here. What are you scared of? And you're like, whoa, what's going on? Oh, you're drunk. And that's like the first one. And then they go, you look hot in those pants. And you're thinking, oh my God. And then you start feeling dirty or something. It's kind of weird. Like I always want to go, hold on, let me go drink something. I'll be back in a minute. There's like, gotta be a hit of weed or something. I'll just go hit myself on the head with a frying pan. I'll be back in a second. I gotta get a left up too. Cause otherwise this is just weirding me out. I'm starting to feel weird. Drew, that's going to be you tonight. Red Bull and Smirnoff, John, John, you're 15, John, John's asleep, caller, oh, he's been on hold for 83 minutes. Oh, he had a question for Bad Religion.

54:17 Drew Listen, I hear him breathing.

54:21 Adam Yeah. Oh, he wanted to know when you're going to tour for the new album. And let's just keep John on the snore line. We'll keep him on hold. We'll check back with him.

54:40 Bad Religion We have to snore line every night. Somebody's snoring, a member of our audience or staff.

54:44 Adam I'll tell you, Greg, you would love this. About last week, we have a heavy-set security guard who likes to sort of... He finds the time goes faster if he's unconscious here. So he's out on the sofa in the next room, and he saw and logs this guy. He's just passed out, you know. It's, you know, safety off the gun, hanging halfway out the holes there, pants down around his ankles. And he's just spread out all over the sofa, just snoring up a storm. I said to Engineer Anderson, let's grab a mic, let's get a 20-foot cord and let's just go put it next to him and check in with him from time to time. He did not disappoint at all. The whole second half of the show, he was just in there sawing logs the whole time. And then it was really funny because he stood up and there's like some construction going on and from, like some sawhorses and some two-by-fours. He stood up and just brodied right through all of them, just knocked them all over. You know, like, there's nothing better than when you're not supposed to be asleep, so you're pretending not to be asleep and you overcompensate and you're like, hey, what's, hey, how you doing, hey, what's going on? And then you knock over something. It was classic.

55:50 Hey, how you doing?

55:52 Adam That was classic, wasn't it, Drew?

55:53 Drew Yes, it was interesting. I'm sorry for him.

55:56 Adam Is he fired now?

55:57 Bad Religion I haven't seen him since that.

55:58 Adam Uh-oh, I think someone was listening.

56:00 Bad Religion He was a good security guard, too, Adam.

56:02 Adam Yeah, well, he had the quiet dignity to nap in front of the door, so in case an intruder came in, there's an outside chance he might trip over him on the way to killing us. All right, Dan?

56:14 Oh, yeah?

56:14 Adam You're 17. What's up?

56:16 Caller Well, I had a question for Bad Religion. First, I want to say, though, I go to El Camino and there are legends there.

56:21 Caller Really? I thought nobody even heard of us.

56:24 Caller Everybody talks about you.

56:25 Caller Really?

56:26 Caller Yeah, all the time.

56:27 Caller Well, thanks. I thought when I went there, there was only three punk rock kids in the whole school, so we kind of got blacklisted and beaten up as well.

56:38 Caller My best friend wears a different Bad Religion shirt every day.

56:41 Caller Wow, it's amazing to think that something we did 20 years ago, wait, how long ago? 20 years ago, that's when we started Bad Religion, would pave the way for you to be able to wear your Bad Religion shirts at El Camino, because we just got beat up for them.

57:01 Caller Everybody talks about you there, especially the people who are in the scene and so forth.

57:05 Caller Cool, thanks.

57:06 Caller I wanted to know if your name and your symbol and stuff kind of resembles a hate towards religion or something like that?

57:13 Caller No, I think it's been misconstrued. There's no hatred in any Bad Religion words, there never has been. We've always been champions of skepticism, champions of questioning authority, and there's nothing more fruitful and productive for a good society than having people who challenge the held views, and so you shouldn't ever misconstrued as a hate symbol.

57:40 Caller Yeah, so like where did the name come from?

57:43 Caller The name itself, you know, we had to settle for it because we were some precocious teenagers when we started the band, and we wanted first Bad Family Life, but it was too long, because that was something that we all shared. Then we thought Head Cheese, that was kind of a good name.

58:03 Adam Yeah, it's a decent name.

58:05 Caller And then we went a step further and just said, let's just call it Smegma.

58:09 Bad Religion Cheese.

58:11 Caller So then we couldn't go for that either, because it's a little too disgusting.

58:17 Adam But, you know, thank God you came up with a decent name at the tender age of 15 or so.

58:23 Caller Believe me, I think about that every day.

58:26 Adam I mean, it's one you could live with and grow with.

58:28 Caller Right.

58:29 Bad Religion How do they know?

58:29 Adam At 15, I would have had a name. I would have went with like, Narthex, or Half Track or something.

58:35 Bad Religion You would have gone with Smegma.

58:38 Adam Yeah. I would have been a band member who was vying for Smegma. Or, you know, whatever it was, it would have been horrible if I was 15. And then you would either have to break up or change a name at some point.

58:49 Caller Right.

58:50 Adam Well, you guys were ahead of your time.

58:52 Caller Oh, well.

58:53 Adam Lauren?

58:54 Hi.

58:54 Adam You're 17. What's up?

58:56 Caller Yeah, there's I have been dating this guy for a while now. And he well, I want to like sleep with him and everything. But I'm a virgin and he doesn't really want a relationship. So I'm not sure if I should just go ahead with it.

59:14 Bad Religion And so he he is holding back because he knows he's not ready for a relationship with you.

59:20 Caller No, he's not holding back. He's fine with it.

59:23 Caller But you're holding back.

59:25 Caller Yeah, a little bit.

59:26 Adam And he's told you he doesn't want a relationship.

59:29 Caller Yeah.

59:30 Bad Religion I think.

59:31 Adam He doesn't want to sleep with you that much.

59:32 Bad Religion I also think you're getting in deeper and deeper.

59:34 Adam How old is he?

59:35 Caller He's 20.

59:37 Adam Yeah. That's a big difference, 20 and 17.

59:39 Bad Religion Don't do it. Don't do it, Lauren. It is going to affect you in ways you don't even expect. You're getting in deeper with this guy. You're convincing yourself you should sleep with him when in fact what you're developing is a stronger and stronger attachment to him.

59:50 Adam And if you do sort of consummate that physically, it's going to be real heart wrenching when it doesn't turn into anything.

59:57 Bad Religion It's going to affect you a lot.

59:58 Caller That's what I'm worried about.

1:00:00 Adam And if you think you can convert a 20-year-old male into loving you because of having a sexual experience with him, you're sadly mistaken especially if he announced beforehand that he's not interested in that.

1:00:13 Caller Well, wait, what are you interested in? I mean, you don't have to necessarily fall in love with the person you have sex with. However, I will say from experience that no matter what, it's more emotional than you think it's going to be.

1:00:31 Adam Yeah. I mean, even for guys, but especially girls and especially virgins. Hey, Lauren, find a guy who wants to love you, okay?

1:00:42 Bad Religion Lauren, really, except reality.

1:00:43 Adam I know it sounds depressing, but I know you have a serious crush on this guy. Maybe you're more into him because he is saying he's not as into you.

1:00:51 Bad Religion Whatever it is, it's not real, it's not good for you.

1:00:54 Adam All right? All right, sorry. I bet she sleeps with him within 72 hours. Let's check back in with John in the snore mic.

1:01:02 Drew John? John?

1:01:07 Adam Oh, there's some movement. There's an intruder in the house. John?

1:01:15 Bad Religion He's just flipping over in the bed.

1:01:16 Adam And he's rolling over?

1:01:17 Drew John?

1:01:19 Adam I think the phone just fell off the side of the bed now. John has been on hold for 89 minutes and as fast as to sleep. John? Well, he's 15. God knows where he's calling from. He's probably on the East Coast.

1:01:32 Caller Is this radio? 3 in the morning.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah. John? No, because our phone screen told him to turn his radio down, I'm sure. I'll put him back on hold.

1:01:43 Bad Religion Whoa.

1:01:43 Adam I still hear movement back there. There's some real movement now.

1:01:47 Bad Religion I got to go to the bathroom.

1:01:48 Adam John?

1:01:50 Drew There he is. There he is.

1:01:51 Adam There's a movement.

1:01:52 Drew John? Oh.

1:01:56 Adam John?

1:01:57 Caller Hello?

1:01:59 Caller I apologize.

1:02:00 Adam Hey, Johnny?

1:02:02 Caller Hey, what's up?

1:02:02 Adam What's going on, brother?

1:02:04 Caller Anyway, I know this is such a stereotypical intro, but you guys are the best.

1:02:08 Adam Thank you.

1:02:10 Bad Religion You should hear what Adam has been saying about you for the last time.

1:02:11 Adam No, nothing but good things.

1:02:14 Caller Yeah, I watch The Man Show all the time too.

1:02:16 Adam Thank you. Hey, John, you dozed off for a moment there.

1:02:19 Caller Yeah, I'm sorry. In Chicago, they do a day behind the late, so.

1:02:25 Adam Right, right. I know it's late over there. All right, but you're up now, right?

1:02:29 Caller Yeah.

1:02:30 Adam Okay. Is this a school night, John?

1:02:32 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:02:33 Adam Yeah.

1:02:34 Bad Religion Oh, John, it's one in the morning.

1:02:35 Adam You go to bed at 4.30, fine.

1:02:36 Caller Yeah.

1:02:36 Bad Religion Where did you just get up and go?

1:02:38 Caller Oh, I was actually in the bathroom, and then I heard Adam talking from underneath my pillow, and I was like, oh, shit.

1:02:46 Adam We're coming out with those pillows soon.

1:02:48 Caller Yeah, but-

1:02:49 Bad Religion Right after the man show beer.

1:02:51 Adam You're right. It's me saying time to masturbate. It's a big alarm clock with my face on it. So anyway, John, you had a question?

1:02:58 Caller Yeah, for the band. I love Bad Religion. They're one of my favorite bands. Thank you. I just had a question about the new album. When's it coming out?

1:03:11 Adam May 9th.

1:03:12 Caller May 9th?

1:03:13 Adam Yes. To commemorate my sister's 37th birthday.

1:03:17 Bad Religion I'm glad you've been on hold since 1130 to get that info.

1:03:20 Adam I've been saying that the whole show, John.

1:03:22 Bad Religion Well, it's last night's show in Chicago.

1:03:25 Adam Yeah, but he's on hold.

1:03:26 Bad Religion He's asleep.

1:03:27 Adam OK. One argument at a time, Drew. Which one is it? He can hear the show on hold, can't you, John? Yeah. He's asleep. It's riveting. No greater compliment. You can pay a host and you go to the person who's hearing the show the entire time they're at home, they're just sawing logs in the background. It's like, wow.

1:03:45 Caller You sound much different through the phone, live, and then like a week or a night's delay. It's interesting.

1:03:53 Adam Well, thank you.

1:03:54 Caller Yeah, in case you care.

1:03:56 Adam They edit out all the funny stuff.

1:03:58 Caller Yeah.

1:03:58 Adam All right. So you want to know when the record's coming out and what else?

1:04:04 Caller Just about the new tour.

1:04:06 Adam You're going to Chicago?

1:04:08 Caller Yeah, we'll be in Chicago twice.

1:04:11 Caller You're playing with Blink 182, right?

1:04:13 Caller Right. That's going to be here in the next month or so, and then we're coming back near the end of summer. If you want, you can check badreligion.com. It has all our tour dates for the whole summer. And if you're in Europe, you can come see some shows over there. Really? All right.

1:04:29 Caller All right. I love all your stuff, but No Substances, one of the best CDs ever. Just thought I'd let you know.

1:04:34 Caller Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

1:04:36 Caller Yeah, no problem.

1:04:37 Caller And I hope to see you at one of the shows.

1:04:38 Caller Yeah.

1:04:39 Adam You buy the new one, you see the band for free.

1:04:41 Caller All right.

1:04:42 Adam All right?

1:04:42 Caller All right.

1:04:43 Bad Religion He said No Substances.

1:04:45 Caller Yeah, that was the last album.

1:04:47 Adam No, he said No Substances, didn't he?

1:04:49 Caller Yeah.

1:04:49 Bad Religion I think he said No Substances.

1:04:50 Caller He was talking about the last album because the new one isn't out yet.

1:04:53 Adam That's right. So the last one was the best.

1:04:55 Bad Religion He said Substance. I heard him say Substances.

1:04:58 Adam Well, that's because you're an addiction medicine specialist.

1:05:01 Bad Religion No, I heard him say that change is the whole nuance.

1:05:03 Caller That's true.

1:05:04 Adam Either way, drugs are bad or life is empty. It's one or the other. Nick? Nick, you're 20.

1:05:13 Caller Yes.

1:05:14 Adam How are you? Good. What's up?

1:05:16 Caller First of all, I got to say Bad Religion kicks ass.

1:05:19 Adam They're going to get a lot of that tonight.

1:05:20 Caller Yeah, I've seen them play at Warped Corps in Utah, and I have to say they were the best.

1:05:25 Caller Thank you very much.

1:05:26 Caller You guys rock. Anyway, my question is, and I know it's probably going to be a hard question, man, over the phone, but I have a problem remembering anything in my childhood. I'm just wondering if you had any insight why this could be here.

1:05:41 Bad Religion When did you cut off? What age?

1:05:43 Caller My earliest memory is probably ninth grade, walking into my third grade class, and I hear stories.

1:05:50 Bad Religion Nine years of age?

1:05:51 Caller Yeah.

1:05:51 Adam Oh, OK.

1:05:52 Bad Religion Walking into your third grade class.

1:05:53 Caller Yeah, I mean, that sounds weird that I can even remember the exact thing, but.

1:05:59 Bad Religion That moment.

1:06:00 Adam Well, it's usually not a great sign.

1:06:02 Bad Religion You said you heard stories about what?

1:06:03 Caller I've heard stories of people like, yeah, I remember when I was two or three doing this or that. And I'm like, how is that possible?

1:06:10 Bad Religion Were you moving around a lot when you were a kid?

1:06:13 Caller No, I lived in the same place probably until I was six years old.

1:06:18 Bad Religion Was that an okay place?

1:06:20 Caller Yeah, it was all right.

1:06:21 Bad Religion Do you remember it?

1:06:23 Caller I can remember the way out of my house and that's about it.

1:06:25 Adam You have any uncles named Lou?

1:06:28 Caller Lou.

1:06:29 Adam No?

1:06:29 Caller No.

1:06:29 Adam All right, you're fine then. Do you suspect anyone did anything bad to you?

1:06:36 Caller I've heard people mention that. That could be a reason.

1:06:39 Bad Religion What happened?

1:06:39 Adam Yeah, but what about specifically, like your own family members?

1:06:46 Caller No, I mean.

1:06:47 Bad Religion Any reason? No reason to believe anything went wrong during those years.

1:06:51 Caller I have no, yeah, I have no reason to believe that there was anything.

1:06:53 Adam All right. Well, maybe you're just dumb.

1:06:55 Caller Yeah, I don't think, I mean, once you get to a certain point in your past, you start only remembering events. I mean, very, you know, at that time. And they don't have to be that big of an impact on you. Just for some reason, you remember weird little associations. I do that all the time.

1:07:15 Adam I do. I just remember the bad things. I remember my dad.

1:07:18 Bad Religion That's all you had, right?

1:07:21 Adam There's certainly a larger group to select from when it comes to memory. I remember, I don't remember anything either, but I remember my dad telling me I was probably not going to get to be six foot tall. I remember that one.

1:07:32 Caller It was heartbreaking.

1:07:35 Adam I wanted to play professional football. I figured that would be a good career. It was like professional football, pirate or astronaut. I was then had narrowed it down to pirate or professional football player. I realized you need some size. My family, because they're very realistic folks, so realistic, it's painful at times.

1:07:57 Bad Religion What allowed for any dreaming?

1:07:58 Adam No, I was like 9 or 10. The only thing I loved was football. It was horrible at school. The family wasn't great or whatever. I said to my dad, and my dad wasn't like a big alcoholic, abusive truck driver. He was just kind of a regular guy. I just looked at him and I said, hey dad, I want to play football when I'm older. I know you got to be big and I know you're not that tall. You're like 5'9 or something. You think I'll get to be a six footer? You think I'll get to six foot? And he went, probably not. I don't think so. I thought, wow, what would I have done? Like sued him if I didn't get to six foot, if he told me that day in that crappy VW that he was driving me in.

1:08:40 Bad Religion Squareback?

1:08:41 Adam No, he had the bug with the rag top that, by the way, used to let me hang out of while he drove. You think about all the airbags and shoulder harnesses and all this nonsense. My dad used to let me and my sister just stand on the passenger seat. Remember those VW rag tops? It was like they had a sunroof, but it was really just like a sail that was up there that you just throw off.

1:09:04 Bad Religion There was a hole in the roof with a canvas over it.

1:09:06 Adam A big hole in the roof, right. You'd undo a thing and a whoosh. Me and my sister used to just stand on the passenger seat. It was like the Titanic scene. I can fly except for those cars are like no head rest.

1:09:20 Bad Religion They're not like dogs do that anymore.

1:09:22 Adam Yeah, you'd be arrested. Yeah, dog would be taken away.

1:09:24 Caller The seats didn't have locks on them.

1:09:26 Adam They didn't latch. How come we're not all dead a thousand times over? It's so weird. I mean, how does that work? How do we avoid all that? I always say whenever I see a kid-

1:09:37 Bad Religion The ones that didn't avoid it, aren't here talking about it. All right.

1:09:41 Adam They don't have a strong union is what you're saying. They don't have a real strong lobby. The people who died pre-1985 in car crashes. Interesting. Good point, Drew. You know, it's funny that whenever I see kids driving around in, I see them riding around like in helmets, like on skateboards or on bicycles or something. Everyone's got a helmet on now. I think to myself, man, the notion of putting a helmet on for anything was considered ludicrous.

1:10:05 Caller I know.

1:10:06 Adam Even on a motorcycle was considered a little out there. But the idea of doing it on a bike, a skateboard or any of that stuff just almost seemed bizarre.

1:10:15 Caller Well, they didn't have the materials back then also.

1:10:18 Bad Religion To make it cool.

1:10:18 Caller To make a light, cool helmet.

1:10:20 Bad Religion My kids, when I can, well, it's part of putting the skates on.

1:10:23 Caller That's right.

1:10:23 Bad Religion That's it. That's what goes on. Skates, helmet.

1:10:26 Adam Yeah. Your kids, they do their homework. They put a special helmet on, don't they?

1:10:30 Bad Religion Yeah. Adam comes over. They put all kinds of wear gear on.

1:10:33 Adam Yeah. That's a butt plug. That's different place.

1:10:35 Bad Religion My God.

1:10:37 Adam Your wife is so hopped up on Red Bull and-

1:10:40 Bad Religion She's going to show up here.

1:10:41 Adam And smearing off right now. You better hope she don't get behind the wheel. Erin?

1:10:44 Bad Religion Yeah.

1:10:45 Adam You're 27.

1:10:46 Caller Yeah.

1:10:46 Adam What's up?

1:10:49 Caller Well, I have a problem. Most of my sexual experiences, like the last maybe three years, have ended up being like with threesomes. And-

1:11:04 Adam How many of those do you think you've had?

1:11:05 Caller Quite a few, actually.

1:11:07 Adam Oh, really?

1:11:08 Caller Yeah.

1:11:08 Adam All right. Hold on, Erin. We're going to go to break. This is going to take a little dissecting.

1:11:13 Caller Yeah, I think so.

1:11:14 Adam And maybe even a little gambling.

1:11:15 Caller Okay.

1:11:16 Adam All right. Yeah. Hold on a second. Yeah, because she's got some issues. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion. We'll hear something else off the new CD in a few minutes. When we come back, we'll get with Erin and her threesomes.

1:11:31 Caller Yo, Loveline will be right back, homie.

1:12:08 Adam It is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, Greg Graffin is our guest tonight. The New America is Bad Religion's latest CD. It'll be out May 9th, and we'll hear something off it, and we'll get back to this recent call. But I just want to finish up this conversation we were having and I was talking to Greg about, and I bring it up from time to time, it's always interesting to me how certain technology seems to be ahead and certain seems to be retarded. For instance-

1:12:35 Drew Roll bars.

1:12:36 Adam Roll bars. I can't figure out why no one put a roll bar in a race car until 1965 or something. But in sports, it always stands out, and I was telling Greg that I was watching the 1964 Stanley Cup on ESPN 15 the other night. The goalies, no helmets, forget it, none of the players wore helmets. The goalies, no mask. No helmet, no mask. This is 1964 and no mask. I mean, they may not have put the mask on for another three or four or five years, but the point is, this is well after World War II. This is well after...

1:13:10 Bad Religion Plastics have been...

1:13:11 Adam This is resins, this is after submarines, aircraft carriers, this is after jet engines.

1:13:17 Bad Religion Do you remember Bobby Hall and those guys? They're pusses. Just all smashed in.

1:13:21 Adam They're like liver. And here's the one that struck me as an early thing, one that came way before it should have. You watch old basketball games from the 40s and 50s, clear backboard. They had like a lucite backboard on there. And yeah, of course, it was around because like the canopies and the bombers and stuff from World War II were all shaped plastic. So why not put it on a backboard? And that was a money thing because the people behind the backboard didn't want to miss any of the games.

1:13:50 Bad Religion And yet some of those were not allowed into high schools until 1975.

1:13:53 Adam Right. But the point is, is that existed in the 40s, yet hockey goalies, no mask. And the other thing that freaks me out always is when I see like some moonshot thing from 1969 and they're using a rotary phone to talk to us. Like we now have people on the moon. We're still using the Green Acres phone. You know, that to me is like.

1:14:17 Bad Religion They used to have an extra fee for the touch tone phone.

1:14:21 Adam Oh, it was?

1:14:21 Bad Religion It was a fee for it. It was expensive. Yeah. So nobody did it.

1:14:26 Adam Yeah, but not NASA.

1:14:27 Bad Religion Yeah.

1:14:28 Adam I mean, they could have afforded that. All right. What about Aaron? Who's 27. So Aaron, how many threesomes would you reckon you've had over the last few years?

1:14:41 Caller Gosh, probably at least 30.

1:14:45 Bad Religion Clashy. Good boy.

1:14:47 Adam 30.

1:14:47 Bad Religion You've been exposed to 60 people. God knows. Have you been checked for STDs?

1:14:53 Caller Yeah.

1:14:54 Adam You may need a dip in.

1:14:56 Caller Yeah. You know what? Usually though, I wouldn't have intercourse with them.

1:15:00 Adam I see. It didn't bode well with your delicate sensibilities?

1:15:05 Caller No. Actually, most of these threesomes would be with one of my good friends who's gay.

1:15:13 Adam I see.

1:15:14 Bad Religion Male or female?

1:15:15 Caller Male.

1:15:16 Adam I see.

1:15:17 Bad Religion Well, there wouldn't be any risk there for any special diseases or anything.

1:15:20 Adam Gay men are impervious to us, sexually transmitted diseases. I did hear about this some sort of monkey virus or something that was going around. It was all a tabloid thing. It got blown out of proportion. I don't think that's going to catch.

1:15:32 Bad Religion Scriminatory, Adam. Cut it out.

1:15:33 Adam All right. So, Erin. So, are these most of these threesomes with two men?

1:15:40 Caller Yeah. My friend, usually with my friend, I've had them with other gay friends.

1:15:46 Bad Religion What's up, Erin?

1:15:48 Adam Oh, we're going to gamble.

1:15:49 Bad Religion Well, have you been tested for HIV, first of all, before?

1:15:51 Drew Yeah.

1:15:52 Caller Not in a while, though.

1:15:53 Bad Religion I don't want to gamble. It's fine.

1:15:54 Adam Okay, Erin, what happened to you?

1:15:59 Caller I was sexually abused when I was 13 by a lesbian.

1:16:03 Bad Religion Yeah. Anything happen before that?

1:16:04 Caller No.

1:16:05 Bad Religion What was your family life like? Pretty chaotic?

1:16:07 Caller Um, not too bad. Like, I went to private school. My parents were alcoholics. I'm the oldest.

1:16:13 Bad Religion Except for that, everything was fine.

1:16:15 Adam Except for the alcoholism?

1:16:17 Caller Yeah.

1:16:17 Adam All right.

1:16:17 Bad Religion Well, I don't know what it is, though.

1:16:19 Caller No, nothing like that. We're like America's favorite family, everybody says.

1:16:23 Bad Religion Yeah, I see. When I imagine America's favorite family, I just think of the...

1:16:27 Adam I thought Bob Saget's family was America's favorite family.

1:16:30 Caller Kind of like the Roseanne Barre family.

1:16:33 Bad Religion Oh, that's... See, that's where those sorts of things are poisonous.

1:16:37 Adam Oh, I see.

1:16:38 Bad Religion Yeah.

1:16:39 Caller Everything's happening.

1:16:40 Adam Right.

1:16:40 Bad Religion That's a good family.

1:16:42 Adam See, I grew up watching the Brady Bunch, so I knew how effed up my family was. But if you grow up watching Roseanne, you think you guys are normal. Like some producers are going to show up and want to make a sitcom after you.

1:16:52 Caller Oh, my God.

1:16:53 Adam But those kind of families, those Roseanne-type TV or married-with-children-type TV families, they always leave out the part about the marital indiscretions and the drug abuse and the alcohol abuse and a sprinkling of physical and verbal abuse. They just go right for the comedy.

1:17:12 Caller Yeah.

1:17:12 Adam All right. So you went to a private school, your parents were both alcoholics.

1:17:17 Caller Right.

1:17:17 Adam And you were sexually abused by a lesbian at 13. What lesbian?

1:17:24 Caller It was kind of my... Somebody was married into the family and it was one of their relatives.

1:17:29 Adam And did you ever report it?

1:17:31 Caller No.

1:17:32 Adam And how did this happen?

1:17:34 Caller You know what? I didn't really realize that it was sexual abuse until I was like much older.

1:17:38 Bad Religion What was the circumstance?

1:17:42 Caller This relative assumed that I was like 17 and really I was only like 13.

1:17:47 Bad Religion And what did she do?

1:17:48 Caller And we went out and she had a cousin with her and like... Like I'd never been exposed to anything. And you know, I was drinking, smoking pot, and then she left me alone with this girl and she just attacked me. And I gave her a bloody nose and it was just, you know...

1:18:05 Bad Religion Oh, you fought her off?

1:18:06 Adam No, she was on her period.

1:18:07 Caller No, I totally fought her off and you know, I prayed every day for like months that she would just die.

1:18:14 Caller Oh boy.

1:18:15 Adam How'd that work?

1:18:16 Bad Religion Well, Erin, there's a lot of stuff going on here with you.

1:18:19 Adam Oh boy.

1:18:20 Caller You know, and I, you know what, I'm a single mother. I have a daughter. And you know...

1:18:26 Adam That always smarts.

1:18:28 Caller Yeah.

1:18:29 Adam Hey Erin? All right. Listen, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Although, I gotta believe it's more your parents, the environment, and the alcohol than it is this one episode with the lesbian at 13. Because the sort of brain cement is almost dry about 13. There's only so many. You can only carve your initials so deep into your emotional sidewalk at 13.

1:18:54 Bad Religion And it takes a pretty good trauma. And this was sort of my early...

1:18:56 Adam And you fought her off and that kind of thing. So this is more connected to that. I'd be curious if something else didn't happen, some other form of sexual abuse at some point somewhere.

1:19:06 Bad Religion Yeah, I mean, there's nothing...

1:19:07 Caller She fought her off. There's one thing that I have thought of, because my sister, she's 17, and she's very promiscuous and just does crazy things. And my brother also, we're all just shameless. I mean, I go to clubs and go topless.

1:19:26 Adam Yeah.

1:19:26 Bad Religion Are you an alcoholic or addict?

1:19:29 Drew No.

1:19:30 Bad Religion Any bipolar illness in your family?

1:19:32 Caller You know what? I suffer from depression, yeah. I want Paxil.

1:19:37 Adam All right. And you're not drunk when you do this?

1:19:39 Caller Oh, when I'm topless?

1:19:40 Adam Yeah.

1:19:41 Caller Yeah. Of course I'm drunk.

1:19:42 Adam What did you drink? Red Bull and vodka? No. Listen though, Erin, you have a host of problems. Why don't you stop acting out? You're 27 for Christ's sake. Your mother, you have a child. I mean, are you hell bent on screwing up your kids as bad as your parents screwed you up? Is that the plan? Do you want to outdo them? Do you want to one-up them?

1:20:02 Caller No.

1:20:02 Adam Well, stop it then. I mean, I'm sorry for what happened to you. But for Christ's sake, you're acting like a drunken sorority girl who's in Palm Springs for Easter vacation. You're 27, honey.

1:20:14 Caller I think you're worse than that.

1:20:15 Adam Okay. You're 27. You have a child. Stop it. I mean, I'm not commanding you to become sane. Just stop acting insane. Write that down, Drew. All right. Erin, seriously, go to like CA and CODA and AA and Al-Anon and Alatine and-

1:20:34 Caller Those people at AA are crazier than-

1:20:38 Adam Well, that's true, but at least they're not running around with their shirts pulled up over their heads.

1:20:42 Bad Religion Did you say drugs and alcohol didn't figure into your behaviors?

1:20:45 Caller Well, I do do-

1:20:47 Caller I mean, I don't do drugs now. I used to when I was younger.

1:20:51 Bad Religion All right. Why do you go to AA?

1:20:53 Caller Because when I was younger, I did a lot of drugs.

1:20:55 Adam I see. And now, really, what's up with your kid? Where is that child?

1:20:59 Caller Actually, she's on her way home from Disneyland.

1:21:02 Adam Oh, great. Wow, that's going to be quite a juxtaposition.

1:21:05 Bad Religion At 1130 at night?

1:21:06 Caller Yeah.

1:21:07 Adam Yeah. She's on-

1:21:08 Caller It's a special occasion.

1:21:09 Adam Take the bus or the subway?

1:21:10 Caller No, with grandma.

1:21:11 Adam I see. Oh, God knows what kind of shape grandma's in. Listen, Erin, don't get pregnant.

1:21:16 Caller Oh, I won't.

1:21:17 Adam And get yourself some help, please, would you? And take care of your child. Don't create the same kind of bad environment that you had, please. You want her doing this kind of stuff?

1:21:26 Caller Do you know of any other support groups?

1:21:28 Bad Religion Go to AA, go with an open mind. If you don't like the group, you go to find another group.

1:21:32 Caller I'm looking for something more like of a sexual dysfunction.

1:21:36 Bad Religion Well, how about SA?

1:21:37 Caller SA.

1:21:38 Adam Yeah.

1:21:38 Bad Religion Sex Addicts Anonymous. You would benefit from that. You think so? They have a book called The White Book. It's called White Cover. Read that book. I think it will help you. What's it called?

1:21:50 Adam The White Book.

1:21:51 Bad Religion The SA Big Book. The SA Big Book, it's called.

1:21:54 Adam The Beatles wrote it. All right, Erin.

1:21:57 Caller Take care of yourself.

1:21:58 Bad Religion And AA are the ones that probably can refer you to an SA group, by the way. Because SA is in the phone book.

1:22:02 Adam Please, stop acting out. You don't want your daughter doing that, do you?

1:22:06 Caller No.

1:22:06 Adam No. OK, well, she's gonna. So stop. Oh, my God. This is mama.

1:22:10 Bad Religion Mom with the top off.

1:22:14 Adam Mom's mumbling around like a dervish with the top pulled over her head. Oh, what have we become? What have we become? Anne?

1:22:21 Caller Yeah.

1:22:22 Adam You're 22. What's up?

1:22:24 Caller Um, God, there's lots of things. But what I'm calling about is I'm wondering if I'm a lesbian. Yeah.

1:22:33 Adam Yeah.

1:22:33 Drew No.

1:22:36 Caller I don't know.

1:22:37 Adam I'm going with yes.

1:22:38 Bad Religion You're gay. Why?

1:22:39 Drew Why are you wondering?

1:22:41 Caller Um, well, like when I was younger, I like slept with two women and I pretty much just stopped thinking about it. I'm like, I don't need anybody. I don't need relationships. I don't need anybody.

1:22:53 Bad Religion So you went from lesbian relationships to no relationships.

1:22:56 Caller Yeah.

1:22:56 Bad Religion So it was too painful to you to admit that that was the way you were going?

1:23:00 Caller I know. I just, I was really depressed and I just like shut off. I pretty much shut down from like 16 to 21.

1:23:07 Bad Religion So it was too painful for you to see the direction you were going?

1:23:10 Caller I don't know. I don't know if that was it. But.

1:23:13 Bad Religion What did you shut off from then?

1:23:14 Caller I just shut off from the whole world.

1:23:16 Bad Religion Why?

1:23:17 Caller I just, I was just really depressed. I didn't want to.

1:23:19 Bad Religion Wouldn't that be pain? Isn't that.

1:23:22 Adam Please don't try to talk to the listeners.

1:23:24 Caller What?

1:23:24 Adam How many times have I cautioned you against talking to the people? Could be dangerous.

1:23:29 Bad Religion You're right.

1:23:30 Adam Hey, Anne. All right. Well, you're depressed and you're confused.

1:23:33 Caller I know. I'm on therapy and I'm on drugs.

1:23:35 Adam Good.

1:23:36 Caller And like they're helping somewhat. But I'm, I would, you know, it was just like I, I was completely alienated and I had no friends. And I went to this Christian group and I'm in this stupid Christian group, which is probably not the place for me to be.

1:23:48 Adam You need therapy.

1:23:50 Caller I'm in therapy.

1:23:51 Adam I thought you're talking.

1:23:54 Caller What do you think of men in our society?

1:23:57 Caller I don't like them.

1:23:58 Caller Yeah. The people I meet who are around your age, who think they're lesbians, it usually comes from the fact that there's a lot of negative imagery about men in our society. If I was a girl at your age, I probably wouldn't like men either.

1:24:15 Caller Well, see, that's what I think the people would say if I told them that I was gay, and I don't, you know.

1:24:21 Caller But there are good men out there.

1:24:23 Caller Well, that's what, you know, I mean, obviously.

1:24:25 Caller It's hard to find them, though, it's harder.

1:24:27 Adam Well, they're gay, too.

1:24:28 Caller But I'm not saying I like winning because I don't want to be with men.

1:24:32 Caller Exactly, and that right there I think is the most important.

1:24:35 Adam Where's your dad?

1:24:36 Caller He's at home.

1:24:37 Adam Did he do anything bad to you?

1:24:38 Caller No.

1:24:39 Adam He was a good guy?

1:24:40 Caller Yeah.

1:24:40 Adam You love him very much?

1:24:41 Caller Yeah, well, I mean, he's just very emotionally distant and depressed.

1:24:46 Adam I see. Other than that, he was a champion dad?

1:24:48 Caller Yes.

1:24:49 Adam Okay. Listen, Anne, you have issues with men. Your depressed, distant, emotionally unavailable, unempathetic father probably has a lot to do with it. Okay. So anyway, stick with your therapy. Read your books, go on your walks, chill out, and let all this stuff sort of settle, let your snow globes settle, and then you can figure out where you're at sexually.

1:25:14 Caller But the depression that you're feeling is everything stemming from, if it's all stemming from her.

1:25:21 Adam Confusion?

1:25:22 Caller Yeah.

1:25:22 Adam I don't think it is.

1:25:23 Bad Religion Could be biological. Just genetic.

1:25:25 Adam She was depressed at 16. I don't really think that, see, I don't really think that depression is triggered by a here and now events. I mean, long lasting depression. I mean, somebody dies, a loved one, something, sure, you get fired, whatever. But I don't even know if that's depression. I mean, that's almost mourning and sadness that you should have based on. I mean, the definition of depression, and correct me if I'm wrong, is you're upset over an unhappy for no good reason, or for long periods of time over nothing. I mean, being depressed because of some pain or some sadness or some loss, that's not depression. That's what you're supposed to feel when you get fired or your dad dies or something like that. But if you're depressed for long periods of time, it's not because you can't figure out whether you're a lesbian or not. I think she had that and the depression is adding to the confusion. All right. Listen everybody with the therapy, because I'm going to the shrink tomorrow myself. This is an ongoing project. This is not some 12-week class that you take over the learning annex.

1:26:35 Bad Religion The therapist is finally trying to get you to do some work here.

1:26:38 Adam No, he doesn't.

1:26:38 Bad Religion You're hearing your voice.

1:26:39 Adam My therapist loves me because I pay him top dollar just to amuse and entertain him. Yeah, I bring the paper in, I talk on the cell phone.

1:26:46 Bad Religion He's starting to push on you, I can tell. Let's get some work out of you.

1:26:49 Adam No, he's not. What are you talking about? Let me tell you something about the way I pay my therapist too. I pay him every 10 minutes. I don't just pay him at the end of the month. I actually peel off a 20 and hand it to him. I think about every 13 and a half minutes. I can't remember how the math works. Let's see, 90 bucks for 50 minutes. So, every 10 minutes, it would be about 15 bucks, wouldn't it? Is that about right? Yeah. So, I just give him 15. And then once I have to run down to the ATM because I'm a little bit light. But when you pay a guy at the end of the month, he thinks he can coast. When he sees that next 20 and you're holding out in your hand, and you haven't been self-actualized yet, he works for that dollar. All right. Wouldn't it be great if you paid your therapist, like Baretta would pay one of his street informants?

1:27:42 Caller Yeah.

1:27:43 Adam You know what I mean? It's like-

1:27:44 Caller Only if it's valuable information.

1:27:45 Adam Yeah. It's like, hey, you know my mom? I don't know. She sounds familiar. Yeah? Maybe this will help your memory. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Smoked a lot of weed, locked yourself in a room. Yeah. I think some of the feelings I have toward women stem from that. Yeah, could be or could not. Well, maybe this will help. Drew, this is a new way of, I like this now. You get your real information out of your therapist like he was a huggy bear.

1:28:14 Bad Religion I'm sure the therapist will be delighted.

1:28:15 Adam All right. Rooster. I think that was the pimp that used to supply the information for Starsky and Hutch.

1:28:22 Caller That's right.

1:28:22 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion. We'll hear something from Bad Religion when we come back.

1:28:31 Caller Loveline, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:28:33 Caller 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:29:09 Adam All right.

1:29:09 Caller All right. All right.

1:29:11 Adam It is Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, Greg Graffin is here from Bad Religion. One of our favorite guests because of not only how sober he appears to be, but his grasp of the English language, and his college training is educated.

1:29:24 Caller I'm going to have to leave the room if you go on.

1:29:26 Bad Religion He leads us to conclude he does not listen to the show.

1:29:28 Adam He is a complete package. All right. So we were talking. Well, off the air, we were talking briefly about something Greg was bringing up, and we might as well continue.

1:29:40 Caller Well, yeah. Okay. The woman who called in about-

1:29:44 Bad Religion Threesomes.

1:29:45 Caller Was that Erin?

1:29:45 Bad Religion Yeah.

1:29:46 Caller Okay. Erin started off by saying, I'm having a lot of threesomes. By the end of the conversation, we realized there was a lot more going on.

1:29:57 Bad Religion It was the beginning of the conversation. We realized that that's why we got her to the end of the conversation.

1:30:00 Caller Yeah. The threesomes were a symptom.

1:30:03 Bad Religion Yeah.

1:30:03 Caller Now, in general, is it possible to have threesomes and still be healthy?

1:30:10 Bad Religion No.

1:30:11 Caller Really?

1:30:11 Bad Religion It just doesn't work. Men can do that. Women can choose to do that a couple of times, but to be doing that repeatedly?

1:30:19 Adam I think it's all about frequency. I mean, if you think about it, I mean, it's like you can do a little bit of Coke, you can do a little bit of whatever, name the drug, but you start doing a lot of it and there's trouble. Maybe that's not a shining example, but it works. What I mean is you could have a threesome or two, a woman can do the same, no harm, no foul, but she's repeatedly doing it.

1:30:43 Bad Religion Unable to have a relationship, repeatedly does it, is concerned about it, involved with unaccessible men who are homosexual, putting herself in harm's way. Gave you an, if you listen to her voice, she gives you an affective response, and you feel kind of funny just talking to her.

1:30:57 Caller Right.

1:30:58 Adam So the point is, it may be possible we've never heard of it, and it doesn't seem probable if we haven't heard of it, and Juan.

1:31:06 Bad Religion What you can play a song?

1:31:07 Caller Yeah.

1:31:07 Adam I just want to say hi to Juan Carlos.

1:31:09 Caller Hey, what's up guys?

1:31:10 Adam Who is a famous coffee bean picker. Juan Carlos. Why do you have two names?

1:31:16 Caller I don't know. All right.

1:31:17 Adam You're 19, you found a bestiality porn in your brother's room?

1:31:21 Caller Yeah.

1:31:22 Adam How old is he?

1:31:23 Caller He's 30.

1:31:24 Drew Why don't you talk to him about it?

1:31:26 Caller Yeah. Now that is disgusting.

1:31:28 Adam What is up with you going? Why does he have a room at 30?

1:31:33 Caller I don't know.

1:31:34 Adam I mean, are you guys living together?

1:31:37 Caller Yeah. He works at Burger King.

1:31:40 Caller He won't really do anything else but flip burgers.

1:31:44 Caller That's not even a problem.

1:31:45 Adam I see. All right. So he's 30, still living at home?

1:31:49 Caller Yeah.

1:31:50 Adam Don't your parents want him out of the house?

1:31:53 Caller They don't seem to mind.

1:31:54 Adam They don't?

1:31:55 Caller No.

1:31:56 Adam Okay. The dog's pissed as hell, but they don't seem to mind. Hey, Juan?

1:32:02 Drew Yeah.

1:32:03 Adam Here's the deal, because we have to play a bad religion song.

1:32:05 Drew Okay.

1:32:06 Adam I should say we'd like to play a bad religion song. We very much want to.

1:32:10 Caller Play it.

1:32:10 Adam Hey, Juan, here's the deal. Your brother's a loser. He comes home, his right cuticle smell like onions, his left smell like a zebra or something.

1:32:20 Caller Yeah.

1:32:21 Adam Okay. He's a loser. You don't necessarily have to go down that path.

1:32:26 Caller Right.

1:32:26 Adam I would stay out of his room.

1:32:27 Caller Right.

1:32:28 Adam I would go off to college somewhere and just have this be a bad memory for you.

1:32:33 Bad Religion People are going to be showing them the zoophilia very often, some very strong, difficult attachment issues. They can't really attach or abandon badly in early childhood. And other people don't really exist in a real way for them.

1:32:44 Caller All right.

1:32:44 Adam Anderson's going insane. So let's play Bad Religion. Believe it.

1:32:50 Caller Remember.

1:36:18 Caller Love Line, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:36:20 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. No, no, no, shh, I don't want to hear it.

1:36:59 Caller Yeah.

1:37:01 Adam Anderson, that's a good radio where I talk to the guest off the air, like when we're on the air though. All right. I want to thank Greg Graham for coming in from Bad Religion. The New America is the name of the CD. Out May 9th to commemorate whose birthday?

1:37:15 Caller Your sister's.

1:37:15 Adam My sister's 37th. Thank you very much for coming in.

1:37:18 Caller Let's remind them too that if you buy the new record, you get to see Bad Religion for free from a ticket giveaway. Thank you.

1:37:26 Adam By far the best deal in town. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:37:32 Drew Good night.

1:37:33 Adam Well now.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2000