Episode 1000754887711

0:02 Voiceover Love Line is meant for an adult audience. Love Line may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

0:11 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

0:14 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

0:18 Adam Yep, it is the Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number, 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. Tonight our guest is Ali Landry. You can find her on the farmclub.com. Monday night, 11 o'clock on the USA Network. Matt Pinfield from MTV was in here a month and change ago, I think, talking about this. It sounded like a pretty cool idea. Basically, well, Ali, why don't you explain the premise of the show?

0:56 Ali Landry Well, what FarmClub is, it's a television show, an Internet site and a record label with Jimmy Iovine of Interscope Records and Doug Morris of Universal Records. What people can do out there from any small town anywhere in the country, you upload your music to our site, people listen to it, all the users go online and vote and can hear all the music. Whoever has the most hits that week, we basically go to their house, knock on their door and say, hey, you're going to come to our show and you have a chance to get a record deal.

1:27 Adam Who listens to it initially?

1:29 Ali Landry Who listens to it? You know what? I think they have A&R listeners that go through everything. We have our top five picks of each week.

1:37 Adam Then once it gets narrowed down, I mean, I know Matt Pinfield is probably a little more passionate about music than you are.

1:44 Ali Landry That's right.

1:46 Adam Not that you don't like music.

1:47 Ali Landry Not the music guru.

1:48 Adam But nobody likes music. Beethoven didn't like music as much as Matt. Kind of gets annoying after a while.

1:55 Sure.

1:56 Adam He knows everything.

1:57 Ali Landry He knows everybody.

1:59 Right.

1:59 Adam But I'm guessing he doesn't want to listen to 2000 upstart bands every week. But once it gets narrowed down, eventually you guys got to get in and listen to this.

2:10 Ali Landry Well, actually, I don't think I mean, I haven't really spoken to Matt too much about it. I know he's the one who actually goes to the places and knocks on their door during the week. And they end up coming in on the show. So I think we already had an act that cheated.

2:24 Adam Really? What did they do? You mean they hit themselves?

2:27 Ali Landry They had 400,000 hits. 400,000 hits.

2:32 Yeah.

2:34 Ali Landry Yay. No, I think they just had this program on three different computers. And it just kept on hitting and hitting.

2:42 Adam How do you know? Because the average amount of hits is 15,000?

2:45 Ali Landry Because I don't think this band would have ever gotten that many hits.

2:49 Drew They can track where these things come from, too.

2:51 Adam Oh, they can?

2:51 Ali Landry Yeah.

2:52 Adam Well, it's interesting because if you're listening to a bunch of bands and one sounds about as good as an X, except for the one that sounds about as good as an X has 400,000 hits and the other two to its left and its right have 1,800 hits.

3:06 Drew 12 hits.

3:07 Adam 12 hits.

3:08 Ali Landry Right, right.

3:09 Adam Then it should see... That's a very good point, Bring Up Ali. Listen, kids, I know a lot of you cheat. It's important not to cheat too well. Meaning like I was a DNF student. So if I cheated...

3:20 Drew That wouldn't be considered good cheating.

3:23 Adam DNF is not good cheating. And then 400,000 is not good cheating. I'm a DNF student and was. And I still consider myself a DNF student because that's the last time I took a test. So when I cheated, I cheated for Cs.

3:36 Ali Landry Yeah, just to barely...

3:37 Adam Maybe a low B.

3:38 Ali Landry Not to like say hey, he got an A. No way.

3:40 Adam Maybe put down the bong and study this one night. But if I get 100%, they immediately know what's going on. They come up, they see the Asians sitting in front of me, they put two and two together and...

3:53 Disqualified.

3:54 Adam Disqualified. That is right. Do not cheat. That was you. Do not cheat too well. This is what I tell the ladies who fake their orgasms on this show.

4:04 Don't do it too well.

4:05 Adam No. Do it well.

4:07 Drew Not too consistently.

4:08 Adam Do it well. But every fifth or sixth go around, don't squeeze one off. Don't. Just go, oh man, I was so close, I couldn't get it. I couldn't. I don't know, I had a rough day at work. Next time. That will keep it so real for the guy.

4:24 Drew It's random reinforcement.

4:25 That's right.

4:26 Adam It works on pigeons and people.

4:28 That's right.

4:29 Adam Absolutely. All right. Also, besides thefarmclub.com, Ali has a movie, Beautiful. When is this coming out?

4:38 Ali Landry Beautiful comes out in September. It's Sally Field's directorial debut and Minnie Driver and Kathleen Turner and that cute little girl from the Pepsi commercials.

4:48 Adam Oh, that pain in the ass.

4:50 I've had an ass full of her.

4:52 Adam No, I am so done with those. Well, not her, but those Pepsi commercials. They almost feel like they're starting to like parody themselves.

5:00 Ali Landry Well, I don't think they haven't had one out in a long time.

5:02 Drew I just saw one come out in New York.

5:03 Ali Landry Oh, you did?

5:04 Drew It was sort of a compilation.

5:05 Ali Landry Of a few.

5:07 Adam A little curly-haired girl goes into the 50s diner and starts singing like Aretha Franklin.

5:13 Drew Aretha Franklin happens to be there.

5:15 And then it's like, you go, girl.

5:18 Adam They're almost... If you were going to do a parody of a bad soda commercial, that's what it would look like. But anyway, I'm sure she's delightful in this movie.

5:26 Drew Ali was on our commercial, graciously.

5:28 Adam In the drdrew.com commercial?

5:30 Ali Landry It's airing on MTV. Really fun.

5:32 Drew They were good.

5:33 Adam Why don't you bring a tape of one of those in?

5:35 Drew They were good, huh?

5:36 Ali Landry Yeah, they were great. The set was really cool.

5:38 Adam Do you have a tape of that?

5:39 Ali Landry It was like we were on a big fluffy cloud.

5:41 Adam What were you doing?

5:43 Ali Landry Sitting on a stool.

5:45 Drew It's like...

5:45 Adam Sitting on a what?

5:46 Ali Landry A stool.

5:47 Drew It was a...

5:48 Adam Toadstool?

5:49 Drew Yeah. Don't say stool to Adam.

5:51 Ali Landry His mind goes to the grass. It's in the gutter.

5:53 Drew But we... It was sort of a virtual chat room. A real chat room. A rendition of a chat room.

5:59 Ali Landry Myself and several other people.

6:01 Adam How did you wrangle Ali into that? You have to fire your management, by the way, Ali, for getting into dr.drew.com commercial.

6:07 Ali Landry I went on his show.

6:09 Adam Right.

6:09 Ali Landry Such a great idea.

6:11 Adam I know. You two are thick as thieves. I'm never going to pry with you.

6:15 Ali Landry You're out.

6:16 Adam Ali's a nice girl. That's the problem.

6:19 Drew Nick, you know, she's dating Mario.

6:21 Adam Mario.

6:21 Drew Yeah.

6:21 Adam Van Peebles. That's right.

6:22 Drew They're getting married.

6:23 They're getting married.

6:24 Adam You're getting married?

6:26 Ali Landry This is like our biggest supporter.

6:27 Adam When are you getting married?

6:28 Ali Landry We're not. We're not.

6:30 Adam I mean, when are we getting married?

6:31 Forget that Mario.

6:33 Adam He's going nowhere. He's riding a bicycle around as a cop.

6:37 Ali Landry He's doing a film right now.

6:38 Adam About a cop on a bike.

6:40 Ali Landry Oh, no.

6:41 Adam Nick. Nick.

6:44 Ali Landry Nick. Nick.

6:45 Adam You idiot.

6:46 Ali Landry Nick, where are you?

6:47 Adam All right, Drew, don't get so ramped up in your cramped computer. Hang on.

6:50 Drew It's got to be there. Nick.

6:51 Ali Landry Nick's there.

6:52 Adam Caller goes by the name Nick, who wants to know about shaving his hair.

6:56 Ali Landry There he is.

6:57 Drew I told you.

6:57 Yeah.

6:58 Adam All right, Nick.

6:59 Yeah.

7:00 Adam What's up, bonehead?

7:01 Yeah.

7:03 Adam I'm already done with him. Oh, come on. Derek, we'll get back to him. He said yeah five times in a row. Derek, you're 14. What's up?

7:10 Caller Hey.

7:10 Adam Hey.

7:11 Drew Oh, it's Nick again.

7:12 All right.

7:14 Caller I lied to this creator.

7:17 Drew You lied to get what, Drew? What are you saying?

7:19 Yeah.

7:19 Drew Well, what do you want?

7:20 Adam Listen, Drew.

7:22 Ali Landry We are just cutting him out left and right.

7:24 Adam I want to see if I can get through the show without talking to people. Karen?

7:29 Hi.

7:29 Adam You're 19. What's up?

7:31 Caller Um, last year, I had sex and I had abstained from it for like 14 months because I just didn't feel like it. And half hour afterwards, I started having terrible pain in my hips, abdomen, and you know, down there. And it was like extreme. And I was like, well, let me go away. So I sat there for an hour. So I took some Motrin and two hours more passed and still felt terrible. And I sat down, stand up, whatever.

8:04 Drew Do you have painful periods generally?

8:06 Caller What?

8:07 Drew Do you have painful periods?

8:08 Caller I don't have periods because I'm on depot.

8:10 Drew Okay. When you had periods, were they painful?

8:13 Caller No, never. I never ever had.

8:15 Drew And was that the first time you had sex?

8:17 Caller No. You know.

8:19 Adam Now, she had, you had a bad experience the last time, right?

8:22 Caller Yeah. Well, what do you mean?

8:24 Drew The last time, the last time she had a bad experience, she sat out a few months.

8:28 Adam Fourteen months.

8:29 Yeah.

8:29 Caller Well, you just said I couldn't find a guy that, you know, I cared about enough and I was sick and tired to, you know, shallow stuff, you know.

8:39 Oh, yeah.

8:40 Caller I found a guy I really cared about.

8:42 Right.

8:42 Caller And then like, you know, next day he dumps me.

8:45 Adam Oh, okay.

8:46 Caller Talk to me ever again.

8:46 Adam Hey, Karen.

8:47 Caller What? Yeah.

8:48 Adam What's up with you? You sound pretty nutty. You're kind of nutty?

8:52 Caller Well, I'm just nervous. Well, nutty is in what?

8:56 Adam Crazy, you know. Well, what's up? You on any medication?

9:01 Caller Yeah.

9:01 What are you taking? What are you taking?

9:04 Caller I'm bipolar, so.

9:05 Adam There you go.

9:06 Caller Lute stabilizers and I'm on a sleeping pill.

9:09 Adam Okay.

9:09 Drew All right. So could this be related to your medication maybe?

9:13 Caller I'm not sure. I've had bad sexual stuff in the past.

9:17 Adam What happened?

9:18 Caller Abuse, rape.

9:19 Drew Sexual abuse.

9:20 Caller Yeah.

9:20 Adam See, I'm, I'm, I'm just getting all that.

9:23 Caller Yeah.

9:23 Adam All right. So you waited out 14 months till you found the right guy and he dumped you the next day?

9:29 Caller Yeah.

9:30 Adam I'm going to start picking your man, okay?

9:32 Drew What was it that you liked about that guy?

9:34 Caller Um, well, it's kind of, we seemed the clique, you know, and.

9:39 Drew What, what attracted you about him?

9:41 Caller Um, he was poetic and brainy, you know, he's intellectual.

9:48 Drew And that, and that attracted you, that was it?

9:51 Adam Oh, and he was a hung like a mule.

9:53 Caller Pretty good looks too, you know.

9:55 Adam Okay.

9:56 Caller And he was real sweet on me.

9:57 Ali Landry How old was he?

9:58 Caller Um, well, he's 19 now, but then I was 18 and he was too.

10:02 Adam Okay. So during, hey, during that 14 months, did you get any therapy or read any books or anything?

10:08 Caller Um, I've been getting therapy for three years.

10:10 Adam Oh, good. How's that going?

10:12 Caller Um, pretty good. I'm actually much better than I used to be.

10:15 Drew Did you discuss with your therapist why you chose the guy you did?

10:19 Caller Yeah. Um, we put him on the, um, ignore list. Um, she said, you know, he's not good for you. Um, he's, he's just gonna mess you up if he ever talked to him again. Just leave him alone.

10:33 Adam Does that actual list you guys have in the office? Cause I gotta get one of those. Put my family on it.

10:37 Caller It's the, um, list of who I should stop talking to and who I should, um, try to prepare things with.

10:43 Adam I see.

10:44 Caller Yeah.

10:44 Adam All right. Hey, Karen?

10:46 Caller Yeah?

10:47 Adam I'm sorry all those bad things happened to you.

10:49 Caller Oh, it's okay. I'm kind of afraid to have sex again.

10:51 Ali Landry Well, what's cause of pain?

10:52 Adam That's fine.

10:53 Ali Landry Yeah.

10:54 Caller What should I do about it?

10:55 Drew All right. As far as the pain goes, obviously you need to have a pelvic exam. It could be endometriosis, could be ovarian cysts, could be a pelvic infection. Lots of possibilities. Something that needs to be completely and thoroughly evaluated.

11:05 Adam Well, something emotional, too, going on here.

11:07 Drew Usually that's at the time of intercourse. This, this kind of visceral pain that follows is usually a real biological process. And medication can sometimes do weird things like that.

11:16 Adam Nick?

11:17 Yeah?

11:17 Adam Okay, you're 15. What's up?

11:19 Caller Yeah, I wanted to shave my pubic hair.

11:22 Adam Go right ahead.

11:23 Caller Yeah, but like, should I shave it all?

11:26 Adam Yep.

11:27 Caller Top to bottom?

11:28 Adam Yep.

11:28 Caller Like, what should I use? Nair?

11:30 Adam No.

11:31 Caller Huh?

11:32 Adam No, just a straight edge like grandpa used to use to shave his pubes.

11:35 Caller Will it affect me sexually?

11:37 Adam No, actually it helps.

11:39 Caller It helps what?

11:39 Adam You'll cheat the wind.

11:42 Drew Glide right through.

11:42 Adam You'll glide right through. You know how Olympic class swimmers shave their head?

11:48 Caller Yeah.

11:48 Drew Oh, they shave their whole body.

11:49 Adam They shave their whole body. Yeah. Now, partly it's because they're gay, but the other part is resistance. It's true. It's true. Guys look for an excuse to shave. I bet that Mario shaves.

12:03 Drew We were talking just quickly about...

12:04 Caller He does not shave.

12:06 Adam Oh, yes.

12:06 Drew He doesn't even have any hair.

12:07 Caller What about when girls do? Give me head.

12:10 Adam What about it? Your penis will look that much bigger.

12:12 Drew Don't listen to Adam. Do what you got to do.

12:14 Adam Shave yourself right on down.

12:16 Drew Maybe just a little...

12:18 Adam It's a go.

12:18 Drew A little grooming.

12:19 Adam That's right.

12:20 It's good. Give one of those...

12:21 Ali Landry Just groom, but don't use nair. To me, that would be pretty painful.

12:25 Drew Why don't we use one of those little clippers? You know, maybe something...

12:27 Ali Landry A clipper. Good call.

12:29 Adam That's right.

12:30 Caller It's like a bush. I don't like it. It's like...

12:32 Adam Yeah, all right. Well, clip it off.

12:34 Caller But won't it grow back thicker? I don't want that.

12:36 Adam No.

12:37 Caller No. It won't.

12:37 Adam Clip it all off and do it while you're running in place. All right, Nick?

12:43 Caller Can I ask Ali something? What?

12:45 Are you single?

12:47 Drew She has a boyfriend.

12:49 Caller You have a boyfriend? Yeah.

12:50 Yeah.

12:52 Adam Now she has two. Me and Mario.

12:54 Caller You consider me as your boyfriend.

12:56 Adam All right, three.

12:58 Ali Landry Three, okay.

12:59 Adam All right, we're all gonna duel for her love.

13:01 Caller Can you say Nick is my boyfriend?

13:03 Adam No, you idiot. You shave your pubes.

13:06 Ali Landry Nick, you're gonna be fine.

13:07 Adam Lauren, I love guys too. As if Ali says that, as if Ali's saying that, it's gonna get him one step closer to her panties.

13:16 No, he's gonna put it on his phone machine or something.

13:20 Adam Yeah, I'm sure his buddies will buy right into that.

13:23 Lauren?

13:24 Hi.

13:25 Adam You're 15.

13:25 Caller Yeah. My question is, I'm an A cup, and I was just wondering, am I gonna, like, what are the chances of me growing anymore?

13:35 Adam You're 15, right?

13:36 Drew Very good. Very high.

13:38 Caller Really? How much? I mean, like...

13:40 Drew We don't know. You don't know.

13:42 Ali Landry Okay. How's your mom and the rest of your family?

13:46 Caller My mom, she's a C. Oh, well.

13:48 Adam She's a C?

13:50 Caller Okay.

13:50 Caller Well, thank you.

13:50 Adam You'll probably make C. What about grandma?

13:54 Caller Well, on one side, C, I think, and on the other side, smaller.

13:58 Caller Nice rack!

14:00 Adam Hey, uh, Lauren, how do you know so much about your grandmother's breast?

14:04 Caller Uh, I'm just estimating.

14:06 Adam Okay. Wow.

14:06 Drew You always talk about all the males in your family with penises.

14:09 Adam I've never checked their junk out, really. I mean, how does she know the age symmetry of a grandma?

14:16 Caller You can?

14:17 Ali Landry A grandma.

14:18 Adam All right, Lauren, you're fine.

14:19 Caller Okay, thanks.

14:20 Adam And you know what? Guys aren't as obsessed with this, although I believe they should be, as women think they are.

14:28 Drew What?

14:28 Adam The breasts. Guys, guys?

14:30 Drew Well, it's, it's the, the guys, I was reading some articles about this time, but I was trying to decide if there was some sort of adaptive quality to that or whether or not it's purely cultural, but all males seem to have something for it, but a small sort of percentage really are just over the top.

14:45 Adam What you call an elite.

14:47 Drew Yeah. Fighting force. Yeah, you and your fighting force is part of a special squadron.

14:51 Adam Thank you. We call ourselves Bravo Battalion. I'm going to stare at this chick's boobs. Okay. Now listen, ladies. There's a few things that... There's a few cruel jokes that are perpetrated on you by society and Cosmo and all these Entertainment Tonight type shows. Men don't mind a little ass and not as obsessed with the big rack as you think. It's all right to have a little ass on you and don't worry about the size of the jugs. I think guys would go for face first, maybe ass and leg second, and probably third or fourth on the list is the chest.

15:33 Ali Landry Okay, my little brother, well he's not little anymore, he's like 19. He has always been, you know...

15:39 Adam Breast man?

15:40 Ali Landry Yeah.

15:41 Adam God bless him, I like to talk to the lad.

15:42 Drew He's part of the Bravo Squad.

15:44 Adam That's right.

15:44 Ali Landry Yeah. And my sister and I have always complained because we, you know, everybody in my family has a butt. And so we've always complained as kids, you know, because we saw all these magazines. You know, we're like, you know, why do we have to be this way? But no, it's a good thing, I guess. But yeah, girls usually don't like anything extra.

16:05 Adam Guys don't mind, they don't mind a little ass. They really don't. I like no ass in a huge rack, but that's me, I'm part of the Bravo Squad. Sarah?

16:16 Caller Yeah.

16:16 Adam You're 17.

16:17 Caller Yeah.

16:18 Adam What's up?

16:19 Caller Well, okay. I've been going out with this guy who's 28 years old. And recently, like a few days ago, last week, I think it was, he broke up with me, and his excuse was that I'm too young for him, and he doesn't know anymore, like, what to say to his family and to his friends about him dating such a young girl. I mean...

16:39 Drew How long had you dated him?

16:40 Caller We went out for about two and a half months.

16:42 Adam Yeah. What does he do for a living?

16:45 Caller He works with computers.

16:47 Adam All right.

16:47 Drew How did you meet him?

16:50 Caller Well, he lives, like, in the same area that I do.

16:54 Drew And how did you meet him?

16:55 Caller I was playing tennis and he was playing... Well, he wanted to play after me. I was playing with my brother and then we just started talking and we had a lot in common. Even though I'm much younger than him. And we started going out and we really like each other. But he's just, like, really obsessed about the fact that I'm, like, 11 years younger than him.

17:13 Drew Did you sleep with him?

17:14 Caller No. I only knew him for two. I mean, like, we started, like, talking and everything. And then two weeks later, we started going out. But I'm still a virgin. I don't want to sleep with a guy until, like, I'm sure that... Wow.

17:28 Adam That makes him even worse in my eyes. He's a guy who's, like, seriously dating a 17-year-old at 28. And it's not even a bizarre sexual thing. You know what I mean? Yeah.

17:38 Caller He's like, he said he's never gone out with a girl just, like, my age before and that it's really uncommon.

17:45 Adam No, I know. He usually goes out with 14, 15 is usually his range.

17:49 Ali Landry Is he, like, real close to his family? That's the issue for him or?

17:52 Adam No.

17:53 Caller I mean, his family doesn't even live in the same city.

17:55 Drew You know what the issue is? I think, really, I think A, he has a conscience. It's only just now kicking in. Shut up, Sarah. Sarah, shut up. Conscience is just now kicking in.

18:04 Caller Right.

18:05 Drew And part of it revolves around the fact that a 28-year-old would expect to have a sexual relationship. And that's why his conscience is kicking in.

18:11 You understand what I'm saying?

18:12 Sarah, shut up.

18:13 Caller And he said that doesn't matter.

18:14 Drew Yeah, I know what he said. I know what he said. And he has a conscience.

18:18 Shut up.

18:20 Drew Why do you have an older guy? That's more the issue here.

18:22 Caller There you go.

18:24 Caller Okay, when I was 14, this guy who was 28, I don't know what it is with 28-year-old guys, but he was twice my age and he kissed me. And ever since then, I've been drawn to older men. I don't know what it is. I mean.

18:38 Drew And then how about your dad? Where is he?

18:41 Caller No, my dad's around. I had like a really good childhood. I wasn't abused or anything.

18:46 Adam Well, see, I believe her because she's hanging on to her virginity and you told this guy you wanted to hang on to your virginity.

18:52 Caller No. Yeah. I mean, I told him I'm only going to sleep with a guy that I really love and that I really feel has a commitment to me. I don't just want to lose my virginity like that.

19:01 Adam All right. Well, that may have discouraged you.

19:03 Drew Have you had a committed relationship ever?

19:07 Caller Well, I haven't slept with anyone yet, but like I've gotten pretty close to people.

19:12 Drew How have you been in your relationships?

19:14 Caller What?

19:14 Drew How have your relationships been?

19:17 Caller Like sexual, but not intercourse.

19:19 Drew But I mean, no, no, no.

19:21 Adam Now, he's not talking about sex.

19:22 Drew Have they been stable? Have they been close?

19:24 Caller No, yeah. I mean, I've had ups and downs, but.

19:27 Drew When they've been down, what has the down been about?

19:30 Caller They've cheated on me.

19:31 Drew Have they all cheated on you?

19:33 Caller No, not all of them.

19:34 Adam I don't care anymore.

19:35 Caller But why did he break up with her?

19:36 Adam Good. Who cares? Who cares? It's a good thing.

19:39 Caller No, it's not. I really like him.

19:41 Adam I know, but he's 28.

19:43 Drew Here's the deal, Sarah. Because it is. When you're 28, you'll understand why.

19:49 Caller But that's such a pathetic thing to say to someone who's 17.

19:52 Adam Listen, in 11 short years, you'll know exactly what we're talking about.

19:55 Drew But the fact is, she goes for unavailable men. Men that cheat, men that leave, men that are too old. And why is that? That's what I want to know.

20:02 Adam Oh, who cares? That's what I want to know. And you know what?

20:05 Drew I want to know.

20:06 Adam It's amazing that he talked to some of these girls and guys, but especially girls can do this. Seventeen, it's like, well, I dated this 28-year-old. I dated that 28-year-old. I've had my ups and downs. I've won. I've lost. You know, it's like when I was 17, it's like, how's your love life been? I've jacked off 517 times in the last year. What else? Oh, yeah, I kissed Flora Aguilar once at the Sadie Hawkins dance. I was like, that was it. I wasn't like ready to write a song about the loves I've had, the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations. It's amazing. Well, if they want to, they can. I guess that's the point.

20:47 Drew I would love to know what really her dad was all about.

20:49 Adam All right. Sarah?

20:51 Caller Yeah.

20:51 Adam Seriously, what's your dad do for a living? Well, I'm going with like doctor, lawyer out of the house all the time.

20:57 Drew That's what I was going to say.

20:57 Caller I mean, like, I don't see him that often, but my parents are still married and they're happy.

21:02 Drew Why did you see him very often?

21:03 Caller He's in business, so he travels a lot.

21:05 Drew There he is.

21:06 Caller No, he doesn't, like, he travels like once a year for a few weeks.

21:10 Adam Oh, right, so he doesn't travel.

21:12 Drew Why do you say you don't see him that much, though, then?

21:14 Caller No, I mean, like, I go to school when he works, and then I see him at dinner time. It's not like I never see my dad, but I just want to know, like, the guys I've been with haven't all cheated on me. Two of them have cheated on me, and I mean, I don't get it. If we like each other, why the hell is he, like, breaking up with me?

21:30 Drew Because there's something wrong with them if they stay with you. When you're 28, you look back at the guys that chose to go with C-tree, it will freak you out. It will totally freak you out. You'll understand how different he is.

21:41 Adam She's not going to listen to anything. She's already formed. Just don't get pregnant. Don't let anyone have sex with you.

21:46 Ali Landry Keep doing what you're doing. He's at a different place in his life, wanting different things. He's feeling guilty.

21:51 Adam Different place. He's close to death. That's the place he's at.

21:55 Ali Landry He's older than me.

21:55 Adam His prostate is swollen, for Christ's sake. We gotta go to break. Oh, we do? All right, well, let me check in with someone. Where are you going, Drew? I gotta make a phone call. Everything but the show. Everything but the show.

22:05 Drew I've got a guy with pneumonia and heart failure. I've got to deal with this. This is no BS.

22:08 Caller Oh, okay.

22:11 Adam And whatever happened to just good bed rest?

22:13 Drew I've got to deal with this.

22:14 Adam All right, hold on. Just relax. Mike?

22:17 Caller Yeah.

22:17 Adam Now, are you 22?

22:19 Caller Yep.

22:19 Adam You been itchy downstairs?

22:21 Caller Yes, it is.

22:22 Adam Okay, hold on a second. Drew's got someone with pneumonia and heart failure, right? By the way, he felt 100% before he met Drew. Came in for a checkup. Drew put him on the treadmill and that was it.

22:34 Caller Gone.

22:35 Adam Ali Landry is our guest tonight. She's the beautiful, well, everyone still knows her as the Doritos chick, but she's done a ton of things.

22:43 Caller And this is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

23:05 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew is my partner. He just slid back into the studio. Graceful as a swan. Ali Landry is our guest tonight. She is here promoting farmclub.com. It's Monday nights, 11 o'clock on the USA Network. Matt Pinfield was in here a few weeks back talking about it. It's a cool show. They break new bands, they have established bands. Cisco is coming up this Monday. Cisco and Primus or just Cisco?

23:39 Ali Landry Let's see who's coming up. Cisco, Primus, Creed is going to be on. We're taping this weekend if anybody wants to come to the show. I don't know. I think they give the tickets over the radio station for the NWA reunion.

23:56 Adam We had Cisco on this show not too long ago. Real nice guy.

24:01 Ali Landry Real nice.

24:03 Adam Yeah. Super friendly.

24:06 I liked him a lot.

24:08 Adam And again, that is farmclub.com. Monday night, 11 o'clock, USA Network and soon to be released. What month is Beautiful?

24:17 Ali Landry September. Beautiful is coming out in September.

24:20 Adam All right.

24:21 Drew Adam, another Urban Legend. I was just in the college. I'm observing the college chat room at drdrew.com and someone there pointed out that he heard that you will die if you don't have sex sometime up to the age of 21.

24:33 Very true.

24:34 Adam That's right. Because you'll pull your own penis off, masturbating and bleed, bleed to death.

24:39 Ali Landry Be strong, man. Be strong.

24:42 Adam Please. We can't do that.

24:44 Ali Landry Yes, you can.

24:46 Adam Mike, you're 22. What's up?

24:49 Caller Basically, I have a gentle itch.

24:52 Adam Oh, that's true.

24:53 Caller Why?

24:53 Caller Where is the itch?

24:55 Caller Just around the sack.

24:58 Adam Around the sack?

24:59 Caller Actually, it's around the hair area.

25:00 Caller Around the outside?

25:01 Caller Yeah.

25:04 Caller Is there a rash there?

25:08 Caller I'm not sure. Usually, if I check it, there's like red bumps.

25:13 Drew So you can see something there?

25:15 Adam Yeah. You think it's a heat rash or a jack itch or something like that?

25:20 Caller I'm thinking it's a jack itch.

25:22 Adam All right.

25:22 Drew Why don't you get some of the over-the-counter preparations and get to work on that? Lothramen, Micotin, okay?

25:29 Caller Okay. All right.

25:31 Drew Let me ask him something.

25:31 Caller No, who cares?

25:32 Drew He may be OCD. He's got some other quality about him. Are you sort of obsessing about this, Mike? Do you obsess about stuff like this all the time?

25:39 Caller No, I don't.

25:40 Drew This is just one thing you've never got any concerns about down there before.

25:44 Caller It's been there for like a couple of weeks. I'm thinking it's, I don't know if it's for my girlfriend or not.

25:51 Drew No. But why didn't you do something about it?

25:54 Caller Basically, I don't have medical coverage right now.

25:56 Drew Yeah, but when I go to the pharmacy and get some of that stuff, over the counter.

26:00 Adam Jock spray, you know?

26:01 Drew Yeah.

26:02 Caller Okay.

26:02 Adam You smoke a lot of weed, Mike?

26:05 Caller I haven't smoked weed in like three weeks.

26:08 Drew Were you smoking a lot before that?

26:10 Caller No.

26:10 Adam Okay. Why haven't you smoked weed? Some job thing?

26:13 Caller Basically, a job thing and I'm trying to quit.

26:16 Adam All right.

26:17 Drew Yeah.

26:17 Adam But you didn't smoke a lot.

26:18 Caller Yeah. No, I didn't.

26:19 Adam Yeah. You smoked a joint a year, but you wanted to quit.

26:23 Caller Yeah.

26:23 Drew You have to try to quit.

26:24 Caller Yeah.

26:24 Adam Why are you quitting the joint a year you're smoking?

26:30 Caller I don't know. It's just one of the things I want to quit.

26:32 Drew It's not once a year, Mike.

26:34 Caller Yeah.

26:34 Adam Okay.

26:35 Drew Oh, yeah. By the way, people...

26:36 Adam You sound depressed, Mike.

26:37 Caller Yeah.

26:37 Drew People who smoke a lot might get depressed and they get obsessive compulsive, and he's getting a lot of those characteristics.

26:43 Adam You know what I love about this radio show? Even though it's a national radio show, you've never heard more relaxed callers in your life. You really think they were watching TV and talking to one of their roommate who was in the next room, just about nothing. I mean, these idiots couldn't rally to save their lives. I mean, we have people call the show, they've never heard more casual conversation in your life. Sort of half interested, huh?

27:14 Ali Landry Because they listen to you all the time, you know?

27:16 They feel like they know you.

27:17 Adam Idiots, please, don't call.

27:18 Ali Landry Be flattered.

27:19 Adam No. Joe? Okay. Joe, you're 18. Yeah. Hey, if something happens to that Mario, me and you, right? All right. Come on. We both have that nappy hair. I know that's what attracted you to him, right? That nappy hair?

27:36 Ali Landry He has no nappy hair.

27:37 Adam He has nappy hair.

27:38 Ali Landry No, he doesn't. They permed it when he was unsaved by the bill.

27:41 So he's gay.

27:44 Ali Landry It wasn't his law. They made him.

27:45 Adam They permed it. They made him.

27:47 Caller I already asked him that question.

27:48 Adam Oh, made nothing. Not enough curling irons or manpower around to get one of those things in my head, please.

27:54 Drew By the way, we were talking before we went in the air. I'm real disturbed by that Prop 22 outcome.

27:59 Adam Like Drew is talking about that.

28:00 Drew California. Right. There was a proposition about same-sex marriages and it was sort of resoundingly shot down.

28:07 Adam Yeah.

28:08 Ali Landry Which you would think it would be closer to at least 50.

28:10 Drew Well, it's just such a unnecessary kind of a diss on people.

28:16 Adam How did they, how did they, how did the anti-Prop 22 people?

28:21 Drew Pull it off.

28:22 Adam Yeah, because usually, listen everybody, here's how you know.

28:26 Drew No, no, it was the way it was resoundingly past, which means whatever was it turned out that they can't. Yeah.

28:32 Adam The gays can't get married.

28:33 Ali Landry Which means that to me, you know, all these people who would want this, the same sex marriage, they would totally rally up and go, go out there and vote. Right.

28:42 Drew You would think.

28:43 Ali Landry And these other people wouldn't care so much. But obviously, they do.

28:46 Adam Well, it depends how it was presented because a lot of these props, you don't even know what the hell they're about.

28:52 Ali Landry They probably they knew exactly what this one was about.

28:54 Adam I just love it. Like you see some commercial and there's some some guy in a big industry and he's dropping off barrels of toxic waste at a park. And the guy's going, Phil, you can't dump that there. Under Prop 11, we can.

29:11 Caller Sure. And Prop 11 is insurance rate hikes or something.

29:16 Adam Right. It's something something ridiculous. It has nothing to do with anything. And you know, it's great. It's great when they do all these scare tactics, like some of the classic ones where where I remember when they wanted to, they wanted to put like 25 percent or quarter, 25 cent tax on cigarettes or something. And the in the tobacco industries waged this big campaign that said, if we do this, people will be going to Nevada. They're going to buy vans full of cigarettes where it's not taxed. Then they're going to bring it back here and sell it. And that's what they're going to use to buy ammunition and guns for for for their gangs. And this was their serious angle. That was 10 years ago. And so far, no one has gone in Nevada to buy a carton of cigarettes. And I don't believe they ever believed it either. It's just a bunch of nonsense. And it's always the same commercial, too. It's a guy, he's got a van, I swear to God. And then he goes, if that Prop 22 passes, I'm going to buy a lot of these. And he lifts his shirt up and it's the gun is tucked into his pants. And it's always the same guy. It's always the white criminal, by the way, which is I always lose interest immediately when they have the white criminal, because you cannot use a criminal of any ethnicity except for white guy, because you'll get into trouble. Big trouble. You can't use a black guy, a Mexican guy, Chinese guy, Japanese, unbelievable. So they got to go with the white guy. But don't worry, it's not every white guy. It's the white guy hasn't shaved in a couple of days. And it's not like a fat guy. It's the guy looks like Luke Perry, but he hasn't shaved in a couple of days. And he puts a t-shirt on.

30:58 Drew He's got to look a little bit Libyan, Libyan, Libyan.

31:02 Adam A little dicey, a little Italian could be a little Arabian. But it's always the white guy criminal hasn't shaved in, and he's got a plan. And he's going to use Prop 29 to fund that plan. And then magically nothing happens. So here's how you know how to vote, by the way. The more commercials you see for something, the more you should vote against it. Whatever they want you to do, whatever you see the most commercials, go the other way, because it's big business who's behind it. It's Indians begging.

31:36 Drew No, no, no. It's sometimes giant lobby groups with very, very specific political agendas going on.

31:42 Adam Beautiful. Yeah. All that Indian gaming and all that other nonsense, please. All right.

31:48 Drew That's why it's a great state.

31:49 Adam Did that stuff pass?

31:50 Drew I think so.

31:50 Adam That Indian stuff?

31:51 Drew That's still up in the air right now.

31:54 Adam Ryan, yeah, let them pass it and drink themselves silly. You're 25.

31:59 Caller What's up?

32:00 Caller I just told my father that my brother molested me growing up, and he told me he doesn't believe me.

32:07 Adam And how old is your brother?

32:09 Caller He's 28.

32:11 Adam So he's three years older?

32:12 Caller Yes.

32:13 Drew How old were you when it happened?

32:14 Caller I was younger when I was four or five and six.

32:18 Drew What did he do to you?

32:19 Caller He used to, I remember once he took off my bathing suit, and my mom almost caught him, and she asked me if something was going on, and I said no.

32:30 Drew What did he do exactly?

32:32 Caller He would just touch me, and make me touch him, and stuff like that.

32:37 Adam And he did this for years?

32:39 Caller From the time I was four, and the last memory I have of it is when I was seven or eight.

32:44 Adam Seven or eight?

32:45 Drew Exactly. Tell me that memory.

32:46 Caller What happened?

32:48 Adam The bathing suit?

32:49 Drew Because it's not sexual.

32:51 Adam No, not the bathing suit.

32:53 Drew The last memory you have?

32:54 Caller The last memory I have is him. He made me touch him, and his friend was there. He had another friend who used to come over sometimes and make me do things.

33:10 Drew Like what?

33:11 Adam Oh, Drew, why don't you just believe her?

33:13 Drew No, I do believe her. This is not sexual.

33:16 Adam Drew told me during the break there is no such thing as rape.

33:20 Drew No, no, I'm just trying to delve a little bit to what exactly went on here, what has done to her.

33:25 Adam Well, he made her touch him. You were like touching his pepe, right?

33:31 Caller Yes.

33:32 Drew All right. In what way? Just here, touch this?

33:34 Caller No, you put my hand on his chest.

33:37 Drew Adam, it's important.

33:37 Adam Hold on a second. Jesus Christ, Drew, I don't care.

33:41 Drew Because then we'll ask what happened to our relationships. You're going to find this is not going to be our usual story, is what I'm getting at.

33:47 Adam Really? No, I don't. Listen, I believe there's- I believe he's a little naughty and stuff. Don't get me wrong, but I still think he did whatever he did. I don't know if he had intercourse with her or anything.

34:00 Drew I believe he just made her feel out of control and powerless. But I don't think he overtly sexualized her. So I think you're going to see that she maintains her virginity for a long time.

34:13 Ali Landry Why does she wait so long to tell her parents and why her father?

34:16 Drew You're going to see something of a much more-

34:19 Adam Okay, what age? How long does she keep that virginity?

34:22 Drew Maybe even still.

34:23 Adam No.

34:23 Drew Maybe.

34:24 Adam You want to gamble on that? Come on. Smart guy.

34:27 Drew I'd say 21 to 25.

34:28 Adam 21? I'd go before 21.

34:31 Drew Let's put a buck down.

34:32 Adam Have I had lost my goddamn wallet last night?

34:35 Ali Landry He doesn't even have a wallet. He can't bet you.

34:36 Drew Oh, yeah.

34:36 Ali Landry He just went to the ATM.

34:38 Adam I didn't-

34:39 Ali Landry Break out the cash. Break it out.

34:42 Caller I want the ATM money's in my wallet.

34:44 Ali Landry Get it.

34:45 Adam No, no, no, no, no.

34:45 Ali Landry You just told me.

34:46 Drew At the break.

34:47 Adam I told you I went to the ATM. And then I lost my wallet. How am I going to the ATM without my wallet? I don't have my goddamn card.

34:55 Drew You'll be good for it.

34:56 Caller Go ahead.

34:56 Adam No, I think I got, someone lent me $10.

35:00 Caller That's all he has.

35:01 Ali Landry Is it 10? Okay, I might have changed.

35:03 Drew He may have 11 soon.

35:04 Adam All right, I'm going before 21. This is a layup. I'll give you 10 to 1 odds on that. How about that? Is he getting better?

35:11 Ali Landry Is that getting better?

35:12 Drew Yeah, he's good.

35:13 Ali Landry Breaking down the score. I'm impressed.

35:14 Drew He's learning.

35:15 Adam Okay.

35:15 Drew Hey, she's impressed.

35:16 Adam Ali's starting to warm up to me.

35:17 Drew I know.

35:18 Adam I think there's something here. It's the nappy hair. I got my hair perm too.

35:21 Caller I have a cap on.

35:22 Adam All right, hold on. Look at that. That's nappy.

35:24 Caller Oh, I see it.

35:26 Caller It's curly.

35:27 Drew A what line?

35:28 Ali Landry And it's long.

35:29 Adam Same downstairs as it is upstairs.

35:31 Drew We're going to take a break.

35:32 Ali Landry Okay, I didn't ask you that.

35:33 Drew Are we going to hear this now or are we going to take a break?

35:35 Adam All right, we'll take a break. We'll take a break. Hold on a second.

35:37 Caller Ryan? Hello?

35:39 Adam All right, hold on a second. We'll get back with you. Ali Landry is here. We're going to discuss our future plans during the break and then we'll be back after this.

35:48 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

35:51 Adam Well, it's worth hearing.

35:54 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

36:25 Adam Yep, it's the Loveline, Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew, Ali Landry is our guest tonight. She is on farmclub.com, USA Network, 11 o'clock, Monday nights. Her and Matt Pinfield are there. And when we left off, we were gonna speak to Ryan. Ryan is 25. Ryan confronted her father today about her brother molesting her. Her brother's three years older. She said this went on from about four to about seven or eight. Drew was asking all sorts of questions. Apparently, he was just touching her and having her touch him. I yelled at Drew. Fight broke out. I hit him with a lamp. Now we're doing some gambling.

37:09 Drew I'm getting the really detached sort of narcissistic parent. But not the full-blown abuse picture.

37:18 Adam I'm with you. I gave 10 to 1 odds on this virginity business.

37:23 Drew I mean, I get 10 if I'm right.

37:25 Ali Landry Who said 21?

37:27 Drew I said 21 to 24. It was her.

37:30 Adam I say she lost her virginity before 21.

37:32 Drew It's a decent bet.

37:34 Adam Yeah, it is. That's why I'm giving you 10 to 1 odds. All I got is 10 bucks. I lost my wallet. That's my last $10. I had to borrow that from somebody. Ryan, are you a virgin?

37:45 Caller No.

37:46 Adam Thank God. When did you lose your virginity?

37:49 Caller 15.

37:50 Adam Yes, yes. Thank you.

37:53 Caller You're welcome.

37:54 Adam All right. And how old was the guy?

38:00 Caller 21.

38:02 Drew So that is the usual pattern.

38:03 Ali Landry Was he a friend of your brother's?

38:06 Caller No, he was a friend of my friend's brother, actually.

38:09 Adam All right. So your brother touched you. He didn't have intercourse with you, but he touched you and he made you touch him in an inappropriate way.

38:19 Drew All right.

38:19 Adam Have you ever many years?

38:21 Drew Were you raped or anything later?

38:23 Caller Yeah, when I was 16.

38:25 Adam 16.

38:25 Caller 15.

38:26 Adam 15.

38:27 Caller My first time.

38:28 Caller Oh, that was a rape.

38:30 Caller I was unconscious drunk.

38:32 Adam Okay.

38:32 Drew Is your dad an alcoholic?

38:34 Caller No.

38:35 Drew His mom?

38:35 Caller No.

38:36 Adam What's up with you?

38:38 Caller Um, I'm trying to keep it together right now. I didn't need my father doing this to me.

38:44 Drew Well, that's what I mean. What is it you're trying to keep together? What's been going on?

38:48 Caller Um, my last relationship, my boyfriend, he hit me. He got me fired from my job. He got me thrown out of my home and I was living in my car for a while.

39:01 Adam Okay. So a lot of people doing a lot of stuff to you, Ryan. You know what I'm saying?

39:06 Drew Do you drugs?

39:06 Caller Yeah, I do. What's that?

39:07 Drew Drugs or alcohol for you? No. Okay.

39:10 Caller I haven't had a drink since like 97.

39:12 Adam Why is it so many people are doing so many things to you?

39:16 Caller Um, he got me fired from a job. That, I mean, there's no two ways about it. I'm not like trying to blame him in any way.

39:26 Adam Well, except for the part about he got you fired from a job, dumped you, got you thrown out and had to live in a car.

39:30 Drew How about picking that guy in the first place?

39:32 Caller What's that?

39:32 Drew How about picking that guy in the first place?

39:35 Caller Um, for the first two years we dated, he was fine.

39:41 Adam But Ryan, here's what I'm saying, and I can hear your voice. Everything, everyone does something to you. I mean, it wasn't your fault what your brother did. There's no way around that. I just mean, you know, your dad doesn't believe you, your boyfriend is getting you fired, you passed out from...

40:06 Caller No, I'm not trying to blame him for anything.

40:08 Adam You're not?

40:09 Caller I mean, hey, I found a new job, I found a new apartment.

40:14 Adam So what's up with your dad that he doesn't believe you about your brother?

40:20 Caller I don't know. I was adopted and my brother is his biologically. My mother passed away.

40:29 Drew How old were you when the mother died?

40:31 Caller That was in 97.

40:33 Adam And how old were you when you were adopted?

40:36 Caller Eight months old.

40:37 Adam Okay.

40:38 Ali Landry What made you decide to tell your dad now?

40:42 Caller I don't know. I just didn't feel like... I can't stand to look at him when we get home for Christmas and stuff.

40:49 Drew Your brother or your dad?

40:50 Caller Yeah, my brother.

40:51 Adam Yeah. How does he treat you now?

40:54 Caller We didn't get along for a very long time because my parents used to be like, why can't you be like your sister kind of thing? Or my mom did. So he used to resent me for that. But now, we just don't really talk.

41:08 All right.

41:09 Adam Well, listen, Ryan.

41:10 Yeah.

41:12 Adam I'm sorry your dad doesn't believe you. There's a lot of parents out there that dropped the ball and unfortunately, you can't make it your life's work to get them to believe you. Yeah, no, no. You got to get into some therapy because of the horrible things that were done to you. You have to work out a few of these issues.

41:28 Caller You have to be very careful with who you choose to be with. That's the big deal here.

41:33 Drew Not the abuse of abandoning A-holes.

41:36 Adam Get the feeling she's going to run into a few more of these guys before her time is through.

41:41 Caller Dean?

41:43 Caller Dean?

41:44 Hi.

41:45 Caller Dean, how old are you?

41:46 I am 20 years old.

41:48 Adam Alright, what's up?

41:50 I was calling, actually, I work at farmclub.com and I was calling to talk to Ali and...

41:58 Caller Is this Dean?

41:59 No, no, no.

42:01 Caller Dean, what are you doing?

42:03 Hi, Ali, how you doing? You called.

42:05 Adam It's a little Loveline recap here. Hi, my name's Dean, I work at... Hold on a second. He's the best. Is this Dean?

42:13 This is Dean.

42:14 Adam No, no, no, no.

42:15 I'm from Farm Club.

42:16 Adam This is Dean Dean?

42:18 Ali Landry This is the one and only.

42:20 The one and only Dean.

42:22 Adam What do you do over there, Dean?

42:24 Ali Landry Let me tell you, Dean has it going on. Dean's 20 years old and he's kind of big time at Farm Club.

42:29 Adam Really?

42:29 Ali Landry Yeah.

42:30 Yeah, I'm the A&R manager for Farm Club. Wow.

42:33 Ali Landry Dean, you listen to the music that comes in, right?

42:36 I listen to the music that comes in and I, you know...

42:38 Ali Landry Find new artists.

42:39 Adam How many bands log on or send their music in each week?

42:44 Um, about 100 and... It varies a day. Maybe like up to 200 upload their, like, three tracks each. Per day? Per day.

42:55 Adam And how much of the song, be honest, do you actually listen to? I mean, you can tell in the first 30 seconds whether it's a hit or not, right?

43:02 You can tell in the first 30-45 seconds if it's good, you know, if it's halfway decent, you know, you get to the chorus at least.

43:10 Adam Right. But have you heard any songs you think are going to be hits?

43:14 Yeah, actually, actually we're trying to sign a band right now that was that was on that uploaded to the site and we had perform on the show called East Side. And there are, you know, a couple from like the corn genre, you know, a really, really cool band from Massachusetts. And after being on our show, we like, we tire on their website and they got 250,000 hits by the next morning.

43:38 Adam Well, that's a lot of acid. Dean?

43:40 Yes.

43:41 Adam Listen, I'm, as you know, involved with the music industry myself, hosting the Loveline program. Fairly powerful guy. There's a upstart band I would like you to give a listen to. Do you have that cued up there, Anderson? Just listen to her sing. Now, don't judge yet, just listen, don't judge. This is off the soundtrack of Taboo 2. Do it with style, listen to the words. See, it's about a guy nailing his sister and his mom.

44:31 Oh yeah.

44:32 Adam But just listen. You hear that? You don't hear lyrics like that today.

44:40 Ali Landry Thank goodness. No, they're out there.

44:49 Caller You know this song well.

44:55 Adam Here's the bridge, Dean. Oh yes.

45:10 Caller We practice that often.

45:12 Adam Well, actually, I brought Taboo 2 into work today and sung it in front of the entire writer's desk.

45:17 I'm feeling your backups on that.

45:18 Caller Dean, you're feeling it?

45:20 Caller Oh my God.

45:20 Adam Dean, seriously, here's the point. All right, that may not be the best song you've heard, but with my remixing, little remixing, a little sweetening in the studios, they say, and my talent and stature in the business behind it, I think we could make it a hit.

45:40 Caller I can see where that's going, yes.

45:42 Adam All right.

45:42 Drew Dean, did you call for something? Did you actually want to get something out of this?

45:46 Caller Yes, I actually did. I wanted to call. You know, I see Ali every week, at least, because we film the show every Friday. farmclub.com. And every, you know, usually she's with her very gorgeous roommate, Dawn. And I was, you know, I just wanted to ask her a little advice on how I should go about asking her roommate out and if she would be okay with that.

46:11 Ali Landry Dean, of course you should ask her.

46:13 Adam Really? How old is Dawn?

46:17 Ali Landry Dawn's older than Dean.

46:19 Adam I like Dawn. Hey Dean, sorry buddy.

46:22 Ali Landry Dawn's cool. Dawn's 23.

46:24 Adam 23. She's a little old. Do you think I got a shot?

46:27 Ali Landry Dean, we always ask you to call us during the week so we can go out. We don't hear the phone ringing.

46:32 Adam Hey Dean, what's up?

46:34 Ali Landry Yeah, open invitation to take two girls out.

46:37 Drew Ali, he's an executive and a big start up.

46:38 Ali Landry I know, but you know, take time out. He has to have a break sometimes.

46:42 Caller I'm busy listening to bands like the one Adam just played.

46:44 Ali Landry Okay Dean, call her. Really? Call us and we'll do something together and then...

46:49 Adam Oh please, he doesn't need you chaperoning you and that nappy headed...

46:53 Ali Landry He likes me.

46:54 Adam Like riding boyfriend of yours.

46:56 Ali Landry Adam doesn't like Mario.

46:57 Adam All right. No, it's just his role I object to.

47:01 Caller But I love Mario. I mean, we had a great time going out. He is your guy.

47:05 Adam All right, Dean, ask her out.

47:08 Caller Okay.

47:08 Adam Yeah, Ali's giving you the green light, right?

47:10 Drew Like an enthusiastic green light.

47:12 Adam And does he have the number? He has the number.

47:15 Ali Landry He has all the numbers.

47:16 Adam All right. We'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

47:21 Caller Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

47:29 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

47:52 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Drew. We'll take ourselves a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.

48:00 Caller This is Loveline on Radio Station.

48:05 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, The Buzz.

48:09 Caller KQBZ.

48:10 Caller Seattle.

48:16 Caller It's the Loveline.

48:17 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Ali Landry is our guest tonight. She's here talking about farmclub.com. Monday nights, 11 o'clock on the fabulous USA and Cisco coming up this coming Monday.

48:36 Ali Landry Yeah, we already taped that show. I guess it's Cisco and Primus, which is a little wild. They were doing that moshing. That's what you call it.

48:46 Adam That's what you call it.

48:48 Ali Landry I backed up. No, it gets crazy sometimes.

48:53 Adam How many people are out in the audience usually?

48:56 Ali Landry Well, I think actually a lot of people get their tickets from K-Rock or they just show up at Universal, but we pack in I guess about, I don't know, I'm guessing 200, 300 people. That's good. It's like a concert.

49:11 Drew Speaking of promotion.

49:12 Adam Well, there's a concert. Yeah.

49:13 Drew I finally heard a Loveline commercial on radio.

49:16 Adam Really?

49:16 Drew For K-Rock.

49:17 Adam Were you traveling?

49:18 Drew No, it was on K-Rock.

49:19 Adam Really?

49:20 Caller What were we doing?

49:21 Drew We were at Jeopardy questions. They thought that was great and they played on that.

49:25 Adam Yeah. All right. So here's what we're going to do now. Eminem has called and we're just talking. I don't know if it was off the air. I think it was off the air. Ali said that Dean, who'd called in, wanted to get a date from Ali's roommate.

49:42 Ali Landry Dawn.

49:43 Adam Dawn signed Eminem?

49:46 Ali Landry Dean.

49:46 Drew Discovered him.

49:47 Ali Landry Dean, I think the story is Dean. Eminem was, I guess, at this, some airport or some doing this rap contest. I don't know if I'm saying it right, but Dean was there and talked to the manager and Dean is a young kid. They didn't take him seriously. He's like, Give me your tape. I work for this record label. He brought it in and gave it to Jimmy Iovine of Interscope. And then Dr. Dre, it was at Jimmy Iovine's house. And Dr. Dre came over and heard the tape and the rest is history.

50:16 Adam Eminem was on the show whenever the MTV Music Awards were. I think like the next day or so.

50:22 Ali Landry I like him too.

50:23 Adam He won an award.

50:24 Drew All the time.

50:24 Adam Eminem?

50:25 Caller What's up, Adam?

50:26 Adam What's up, Drew? How are you?

50:28 Caller I'm good. I'm good. Hi, Ali.

50:29 Ali Landry Hi.

50:30 Caller How are you doing?

50:31 Ali Landry I'm doing good. How are you doing?

50:32 Caller I'm good. I got Dr. Dre here tied up.

50:34 Caller Oh, no.

50:37 Ali Landry Are y'all just busy in the studio right now?

50:38 Caller He's gagged right now. Dr. Dre is tied up and gagged.

50:42 Ali Landry He's gagged?

50:43 Caller Yeah, I've got him.

50:45 Caller I'm forcing him to make me beats right now.

50:48 Ali Landry Are y'all still in the studio? Oh, no. Are y'all going crazy right now?

50:52 Caller No, I'm not going crazy. Dre is. I won't untie him, but.

50:56 Adam And Eminem, where are you? North Hollywood?

50:59 Caller Somewhere like that. I don't even know.

51:01 Drew What's in North Hollywood?

51:03 Adam All the recording studios.

51:04 Ali Landry You're in Burbank somewhere.

51:06 Drew Oh, same thing.

51:06 Adam Same thing.

51:07 Ali Landry Maybe I shouldn't give that information.

51:08 Caller They blindfold me and bring me here.

51:10 Caller Right.

51:11 Ali Landry Is Dean with you?

51:12 Caller Huh?

51:13 Ali Landry Is Dean with you?

51:14 Caller Yeah, Dean's with me.

51:15 Caller See?

51:16 Adam Yeah, he's trying.

51:18 Ali Landry Are y'all trying to set Dean up?

51:19 Caller See what I was trying to do was call up and say I was a 31-year-old virgin whose penis only gets erect when I stick in the peanut butter, but you guys blew my cover.

51:27 Adam Oh, if only it was true. I mean, I blew your cover, Eminem, because we've done this. How many times we tried this on this show? 10,000 times. It never works. Everyone always just gets confused. And so I just figured, well, Eminem's on the line. What the hell?

51:45 Caller Well, I just wanted to say what up anyway.

51:47 Adam Hey, thanks for calling in Eminem. And when when you finish Yalm and you want to come back on and plug it or any other time, we'd be delighted to have you.

51:57 Ali Landry I think and congratulations on the Grammys.

52:00 Caller Oh, thank you.

52:01 Ali Landry And go and tie Dr. Dre now.

52:02 Caller All right.

52:03 Adam All right, Eminem.

52:04 Caller All right.

52:04 Ali Landry Take care.

52:05 Adam Thanks for calling in.

52:05 Ali Landry Bye.

52:06 Adam Bye. That was nice.

52:07 Ali Landry Yeah.

52:08 Adam Look at us.

52:09 Ali Landry OK, I have to tell you a story. When I first went there, this is my first day on the job. Um, I go over to the studio and I'm sorry. You know, I was brought up my not really around people who curse so much. OK, so I'm there with them, with Eminem and Dr. Dre. And he's doing this, this rap.

52:29 Drew Those are those are those are like commas and periods for them.

52:32 Ali Landry Every other word.

52:34 Drew Those aren't really.

52:35 Ali Landry Every other word was like a curse. I was it was like my virgin ears were like, oh, my gosh. So all I could do is like just totally smile. And you could see it's the opening of the show. And and then like at one point, like he, you know, flips off the camera and just my natural instinct was just, you know, to grab his hand and like pull it down. And he's like, hey, Ali, it's Gable. So, yeah, I'm kind of getting used to.

52:57 Adam Oh, yeah.

52:58 Ali Landry All this with this music.

52:59 Adam See, this is why your folks, it wants you to come out to Los Angeles. I'm getting no hang around with a bunch of a bunch of cussing rappers and dating a guy on a bicycle. It's really it's really heroin is next for you, Ali. No, completely corrupted.

53:16 Ali Landry No, I have not.

53:17 Adam Oh, yes. OK. What happened? A little girl from Louisiana.

53:21 Ali Landry She's still there.

53:22 Adam Well, I'd like to talk to her some.

53:24 Caller She's good.

53:24 Ali Landry I'm always good.

53:25 Adam I'd really like to talk to her.

53:27 Caller Ask anybody.

53:28 Adam Wouldn't you, Drew?

53:29 Ali Landry He knows. See, Dr. Drew knows.

53:32 Adam Joe, you're 18. Drew, your computer is now blocking the screen. You idiot. Get that thing out of there.

53:37 Caller Hello.

53:38 Adam What's going on there, Joe?

53:39 Caller Well, well, like my girlfriend told me she was pregnant and and she's only 15, but she already has a kid and her son's like a year old. And well, I had talked to my aunt about it and she told me that that, you know, her parents really couldn't do nothing because we were only like three years apart from each other. But I want to know, could her parents, you know, like press any charges against me or something like that?

54:11 Drew Are you in California?

54:12 Caller Yeah.

54:12 Drew Yeah. There is that long in California for you.

54:14 Caller There is?

54:15 Drew Yeah.

54:15 Ali Landry Did her parents do it before for the other child and the other kid?

54:18 Caller No.

54:18 Ali Landry Or he's younger than you were?

54:20 Adam Well, that was her dad, so.

54:21 Caller Well, I wouldn't, you know, I don't know where that guy's at, but I know, you know, they never did anything. You know, did anything, you know.

54:28 Adam What a surprise. He's not there.

54:30 Drew What is her deal? Why does she want to have kids at her age?

54:33 Caller Well, I don't, well, I know that, you know, it was like some situation that she had a kid that way, you know, and like, Why does she want to have a child with you?

54:43 Adam He doesn't know. She doesn't want to.

54:45 Drew One thing we don't talk about this show is that some cultures sort of encourage teenage girls to get pregnant.

54:52 Adam Uh-huh. I agree. Joe, are you French?

54:55 Ali Landry What culture?

54:57 Caller Well, I'm Hispanic.

54:58 Adam Oh, Hispanic. Well, that doesn't happen in a Hispanic culture. Drew, what are you talking about? What do you imply?

55:04 Caller The thing is like my family and her family, we've known each other for a while.

55:09 Adam And she's Hispanic or Scandinavian? Hispanic. And your family's known each other for a while. I don't know. I'm colorblind, Drew. I don't know. And I don't know any differences in any cultures because there is no difference in any culture. You go to Sweden, you go to Mexico. It's the same place. You wouldn't know where you were. Why didn't you use protection? I mean, she's already already has a kid at 15.

55:33 Caller It was like we were we wanted to get together since like I was 17. I just turned 18.

55:39 Adam I see.

55:40 Caller And what happened after I turned 18.

55:43 Adam I see. And why didn't you use protection?

55:46 Ali Landry I just happened like knowing that she had a child already.

55:49 Drew What just happened?

55:51 Caller You know, I didn't want it.

55:53 Adam Well, I understand. And how far along is she? How pregnant is she?

55:57 Caller She's five weeks.

55:59 Adam Five weeks. And how about an abortion?

56:03 Caller Well, her family is Christian. Right.

56:08 Ali Landry Mexican family. Right.

56:09 Adam Wait a minute. They should be Catholic. Aren't they Catholic?

56:13 Caller No.

56:14 Ali Landry They're not?

56:15 Caller No.

56:15 Adam I thought Mexicans were Catholic.

56:17 Caller Well, not all Mexicans, you know.

56:19 Caller Really?

56:19 Caller They're Christians.

56:20 Caller Really?

56:20 Adam Troublemakers as Christians. And so they're Christian and they don't believe in abortion or adoption or anything with the shun at the end of it?

56:30 Caller Well, I think her mom wanted to give the kid for adoption, but she doesn't want to.

56:34 Drew Oh, wow, mom.

56:35 Adam Oh, listen.

56:35 Drew In a rare moment of sanity.

56:37 Adam Clarity. Well, she's got the one tugging at her apron strings. That's enough.

56:41 Ali Landry Are the parents raising that other child?

56:44 Caller Yeah. Because see, I can't cling to her mom. Oh, good.

56:47 Ali Landry That's good.

56:47 Caller And you know, because I told her, you know, that I was feeling guilty about it, you know? And I told her that, you know, I wanted to just come clean, and so she would know.

56:59 Drew And what do they tell you you're supposed to do? What is their response?

57:02 Caller Well, she didn't really say anything much. She wasn't really, she told me she was angry. She didn't hate me.

57:10 Adam Well, where's the dad? Is he around?

57:13 Caller Well, her father died. She has a stepfather, you know? She told me she wouldn't mention it to him.

57:19 Drew What's the stepfather all about?

57:21 Caller Well, he's, like, I don't know, he's-

57:25 Drew Not a good guy?

57:26 Caller Well, he's all right now, you know? He's born again, whatever.

57:30 Adam Uh-oh. He was in prison at some time, right?

57:34 Caller Well, her family was pretty messed up before.

57:37 Adam Yeah. Yeah. You only find Jesus in prison, I've learned from this show.

57:41 Caller Well, not really.

57:42 Adam Well, no. God, they say he's on the outside, but when you go in the prison, that's when you really meet Jesus. He's in there. This guy have some tats in Born Again?

57:52 Caller Yeah, he got a lot of tats.

57:53 Adam Yeah. You know, you know what the scariest thing is? Guys with tats are born again. I worked with a whole bunch of them installing closets for a long time. It's like, here's what you gather from a guy, a guy who carries a Bible and a lot of tats. I killed a handful of people and I don't want to go to hell, so now I'm kissing Jesus' ass. But you get me drunk and F around with my van, you're going too. That's basically what that message is. Guys with a lot of tattoos who are born again scare the hell out of me. Joe, listen, when I'm in power, girls like this are going to be sterilized.

58:34 Drew But Joe's a good guy.

58:35 Adam Joe's not a bad guy, but what the hell is Joe? Joe, you talk her into adoption. Talk her into giving that child...

58:43 Drew What about Joe marrying her and crowning his hand and trying to make a go of it?

58:47 Adam She's got a kid from... Are you kidding me? Hold on a second. Joe, listen, brother, here is your only chance. Get her to give the child up for adoption.

58:59 Drew You got the mom on board with this.

59:01 Adam Yes. Enlist the mom's help. Give the child up for adoption.

59:06 Caller Give the kid up for adoption.

59:07 Adam Absolutely. She's 15. The kid will be raised by two loving parents and a stepbrother rapes it. But other than that, it's going to be a storybook childhood for this child. All right? Up for adoption, Joe.

59:21 Caller What do you want to do, Joe? Like, I feel the kid is part of me, you know?

59:25 Caller No, he's not.

59:26 Adam No, he's not. No, stop that. You know what's on your gym sock and in the hamper? That's part of you too. Who cares? Forget about that, Joe. You'll be over that kid is part of me when the kid is crying at 4.30 in the morning. You're having to get up and nurse it. That's right. He will actually be sucking at your hairy bosom. Joe, give the kid up for adoption. It'll screw your life up. You're 18.

59:51 Drew By the way, if you still want to cling to that narcissistic nonsense that he is part of you, why don't you take care of it properly?

59:59 Adam Then get married, drop out of school, get a job and there you go.

1:00:03 Drew Get him to good parents adoption.

1:00:04 Adam Good argument. All right. Okay. Ryan?

1:00:09 Caller Yes.

1:00:09 Adam You're 19.

1:00:10 Caller It was Brian, but anyway.

1:00:12 Adam What's up there, Brian?

1:00:14 Caller Nothing.

1:00:14 Caller I've been not too long ago. It seems like eight days ago, a friend of mine and I smoked a whole lot of weed, and I'm still feeling it even today. I'm wondering, is that normal?

1:00:28 Drew No. What does it mean you still feel it? What do you feel?

1:00:30 Caller High.

1:00:31 Caller I still have the whole high feeling.

1:00:36 Drew Is it the same high feeling you had when you were using or some sort of residual effect?

1:00:42 Caller Sure, the residual effect.

1:00:44 Drew But I mean, do you still feel good on this or do you feel sort of locked in?

1:00:48 Caller I want it to go away. It won't.

1:00:50 Drew Yeah. There is something called the post-hallucinogenic perceptual disorder, and a lot of people aren't aware that marijuana is in hallucinogenic where you get this sort of locked in phenomenon, where you stay sort of in a dream-like state, you sort of detach from reality.

1:01:05 Caller Work and everything, like my whole work shift will just fly by and I'm like, you know, like time seems to go a lot faster.

1:01:12 Drew Time perception is screwed up. Then you start getting anxious and then depressed. Are you starting to have panic attacks or anything yet?

1:01:19 Caller Not really, just a lot of discomfort.

1:01:20 Drew Yeah, and usually people first go, hey cool, I'm still high, this is great.

1:01:23 Ali Landry Is this chemical or is it just mental?

1:01:25 Drew Oh no, listen, when you start messing with drugs, you are screwing with the anatomy and biochemistry of the brain and that's what they've done. Yeah, something is significantly disrupted and people that get this, it usually settles down but often requires treatment.

1:01:40 Ali Landry What could he do?

1:01:41 Drew That you've got to see a psychiatrist who has experience in dealing with people with post hallucinogenic perceptual disorder. You are at very substantial risk for depression going forward, serious depression.

1:01:52 Adam Ali, you ever smoke pot?

1:01:54 Ali Landry No.

1:01:54 Adam Really?

1:01:55 Caller Wow.

1:01:57 Ali Landry I've been around people who did when I was younger.

1:02:00 Adam All right. That's good.

1:02:01 Drew But you're around one now.

1:02:03 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I'm high right now.

1:02:06 Ali Landry No, you're not.

1:02:07 Adam That's right.

1:02:08 Ali Landry See, I'm so like, I can never tell.

1:02:10 Adam Can't tell, I'm baked. I'm out of my mind.

1:02:13 Ali Landry No, just people in general, I guess people that come on our show.

1:02:17 Adam Oh, yeah. All those acts?

1:02:18 Ali Landry Stoned. No idea.

1:02:21 Adam No clue. Well, stone, let me tell you something about rampers. Even before they're out of their mom, they're stoned because their dads will take a bong load and blow it up the mom's vagina. Just to get the kid like, you know, you get a camp high.

1:02:33 Ali Landry That's graphic.

1:02:34 Adam It's true. You know, you can get your dog high.

1:02:37 Ali Landry No, tell me.

1:02:37 Adam You get dog high.

1:02:38 Ali Landry No, I don't want to know.

1:02:39 Adam You want to get your dog high?

1:02:40 Ali Landry Well, you're going to tell me anyway, so go ahead.

1:02:42 Adam Yeah, you just smoke some pot, and you do a little buddy breathing. You know, you put your, you cup your hands over the dog.

1:02:48 Ali Landry And what does your dog do then?

1:02:53 Adam My dog got paranoid and killed himself.

1:02:59 Caller Okay, he's the only one laughing.

1:03:00 Adam He tried to swallow a whole rawhide bone and killed himself. He freaked. No, I don't have a dog.

1:03:08 Ali Landry Okay, good. Poor thing.

1:03:10 Adam He ran away, joined a cult. He got him good and baked. No, a lot of guys.

1:03:15 Ali Landry If you were the owner.

1:03:15 Adam Guys get their dog stoned. You know, hang around with those people.

1:03:19 Ali Landry You know, you're just a whole new world out there.

1:03:21 Adam Oh yeah.

1:03:22 Caller Thanks for sharing.

1:03:22 Adam I could introduce you to things you've never seen before, like getting a dog stoned.

1:03:27 Caller You can get dogs drunk.

1:03:28 Adam Well, I would get stuff with your dog.

1:03:29 Drew Model airplanes.

1:03:30 Caller Oh yeah.

1:03:32 Adam What? Yeah, let's not pile it on too heavy for the young lady this early, Drew. But I do occasionally fly the remote-controlled model airplane. I know a lot of guys talk about it because they know the ladies enjoy it. It's kind of an aphrodisiac. But I actually do fly the model airplanes. A lot of posers out there talking about it. Daniel, you're 16. What's up?

1:03:58 Caller Yeah, I just I'm about to go down with my girlfriend because we're like kind of in that position. No relationship.

1:04:04 Adam I hand her the phone.

1:04:04 Caller I want to talk to her and she's not here right now.

1:04:08 Adam Oh, I thought he was right. I think you're right there.

1:04:10 Caller No, I wish.

1:04:11 Adam Oh, okay. Right.

1:04:13 Caller But I just need some tips on how to give really good oral sex because I want to be able to like really make her feel like good and stuff.

1:04:19 Adam Okay.

1:04:20 Ali Landry Read a book.

1:04:21 Adam Read a book? What kind of book?

1:04:23 Caller You can recommend.

1:04:25 Ali Landry You know, it has almost like love books and all that kind of good stuff.

1:04:29 Adam Really? Hold on. Our callers don't want the guests to tell them to read a book. They're calling in for some real world. Okay.

1:04:35 Caller Go ahead.

1:04:35 Ali Landry Give it to him.

1:04:37 Caller Tell him.

1:04:38 Adam What would some of your tips be, Ali?

1:04:40 Ali Landry Look, that's a guy thing. I'm not even going there.

1:04:42 Adam What are you talking about? We don't know what the hell we're doing. You don't have to get too personal. Let's just talk about like friends of yours have told you this or told you that.

1:04:50 Ali Landry Friend thing.

1:04:51 Adam Yeah.

1:04:52 Ali Landry Watch a video. There you go.

1:04:53 Adam What kind of video?

1:04:54 Caller Huh?

1:04:55 Adam What kind of video?

1:04:56 Ali Landry You know, like a-

1:04:57 Caller Like a porn over there?

1:04:58 Adam Yeah, but that's a lot of posturing for the camera. We're looking for something a guy can actually use in the bedroom. Let me give him my- Let me give him my technique.

1:05:09 Drew Give me the anatomy book.

1:05:11 Adam The anatomy book? No, I don't like that anatomy book. It's very confusing.

1:05:15 Drew You need a little instruction on that.

1:05:16 Ali Landry I think you need to practice. Practice makes perfect.

1:05:19 Adam Yeah, but he's doing it for the first time. He doesn't want to be told to practice. He's going to screw this thing up. What are some general overall tips? You don't have to get specific.

1:05:30 Caller Just go slow.

1:05:32 Adam Slow or fast, for instance.

1:05:36 Ali Landry Yeah.

1:05:38 Adam Hold on, I'm going to masturbate. Get the lights in the door. Depends. Get on the other side of the door.

1:05:45 Ali Landry I'm not going there. It depends. It depends.

1:05:48 Adam Well, you don't have to do it, but let's say the guy's going there.

1:05:50 Ali Landry The guy's going there? Well, it depends on what the girl wants, I guess. Well, but I guess every girl's different. I don't know. I haven't taught to another, you know.

1:05:58 Adam You haven't? My God. You don't smoke pot. You don't know anything about oral sex.

1:06:02 Ali Landry And you didn't think I was good. You thought it was like, you know, I was corrupted and everything.

1:06:06 Adam Well, I know you're going bad, but apparently I'm not going bad yet.

1:06:10 Ali Landry I'm so not going bad.

1:06:12 Adam Okay. Well, listen.

1:06:12 Drew I've seen you change since that first week after the-

1:06:15 Ali Landry No, he has not.

1:06:16 Adam Right. Daniel?

1:06:17 Drew We've known Ali since the moment she hit the scene.

1:06:20 Adam All right. I'm going to tell you how to perform oral sex on a young lady.

1:06:23 Caller He's going to tell you. All right.

1:06:24 Adam You're the man. You should know. That's right. That's right. Man Ace.

1:06:29 Caller Why?

1:06:30 Adam That's my ramp name. All right. Listen up there, Daniel.

1:06:33 Caller All right.

1:06:33 Adam Okay. I'm going to put him on a hold. I don't want him interrupting me. First, as we've spoken about before, do not treat a woman like a dog. You treat her like a cat. Do not come running after her. Roll over on her back and rub her belly in a vigorous fashion. You have to very, very smooth, very even strokes. Like you handle a cat. You know, you take a cat, Ali, the cat's sitting on your lap. You don't want the cat to run away. You don't smother it. You don't yank its ears from side to side. You don't yell, who's your daddy? And plant your face, right? And its bellies are blowing and stuff. Very smooth, even, consistent strokes. That's good advice. And you got to go with the grain too, you know? You don't start going the other direction and start getting on even and herky-jerky. The cat just gets up, jumps off your lap, right? Maybe even dig some nails in. Very smooth, huh? Very smooth, very consistent, you know? Yeah. Consistent. And here's the thing. A woman, like a cat, you know, when you get to that point where it kind of feels good, the cat will start pushing on you a little bit. A little pressure. You don't have to talk to the cat. They don't have to say anything. You just start stroking around there and you'll feel like, oh, there's a little pressure. It's starting to push back a little bit. When you start getting that little pushback thing, then you know you're doing something right. Now you know you're on to something. Right. That's right. Now it's time to crack a beer and turn the TV on and call your buddies. That's my May May mayonnaise. Now, so you start getting that little pushback, and whatever it is you are doing, you just keep doing that. But you don't hurry. Don't be in a hurry. Just nice and smooth and consistent.

1:08:14 Ali Landry And she'll guide you.

1:08:16 Adam She'll guide you. She'll guide you. But less is definitely more down there. And if you give them the real light, you give them a light little feathery treatment every once in a while, you know. Just pretend the end of your tongue is end of a little ostrich feather or something. Just a little teasing, right, Drew? Little teasing.

1:08:37 Drew I'm getting a little nauseated here.

1:08:40 Adam Wait a minute, Ali. Come on.

1:08:41 Caller You know, I'm onto something.

1:08:43 Ali Landry You're doing very well. Take his advice.

1:08:45 Caller He's doing just very light.

1:08:47 Adam You'll never you'll never get into trouble by going light. That's what I'm saying. Go a little light for a while.

1:08:54 Ali Landry And then take her take her her lead, you know.

1:08:57 Adam Yeah, take her lead.

1:08:58 Ali Landry Listen to what he's saying.

1:08:59 Adam Then, you know, very, very, very rhythmic. But you're not eating a six foot sub. Don't get too don't get too excited. Try it. Just very, very consistent. That's that's that's what that in in in in in fluid. Don't get herky jerky. Don't shift up techniques too fast. And again, my special tip of the week, my what day is it? Tuesday night tip is Tuesday's Mardi Gras. Tuesday Mardi Gras Cuddlingus tip. Very light. It's under my. Yeah. That's doing it for you, Ali. No, I think it is.

1:09:39 Caller Matt.

1:09:41 Adam No, yes. Listen, I know what a woman likes. Matt. Yeah. You're 13.

1:09:47 Caller Yeah.

1:09:48 Adam Okay. I don't like your attitudes. Hold on. Idiot. I'm going to put days been on hold for 60 minutes. We'll get on hold for what another 25. Goodbye.

1:09:57 Caller 45.

1:09:59 Adam Drew is not 45 minutes left in this show. That's the point. Shannon is 15. She lives with grandparents while mom uses drugs. She wants to know how to say. She wants to move back with mom to the grandparents. We got to take a break. But wait a minute. Shannon.

1:10:16 Caller What's up?

1:10:19 Adam You got that little girl voice, right?

1:10:22 Caller I think so. That's what everybody tells me.

1:10:25 Adam That's a bad sign.

1:10:26 Drew This is what we're talking about in terms of knowing something right away. Yeah.

1:10:28 Adam Anything happened to you growing up?

1:10:31 Caller Or what happened to you?

1:10:36 Caller Well, whenever I was like four, I moved with my grandparents because my mom basically abandoned me.

1:10:44 Caller All right.

1:10:47 Caller My brother came along with me, but the main reason why I want to move back is because I have a lot of brothers and sisters. I don't want them to miss out, you know?

1:10:59 Drew Of what?

1:11:00 Caller Because they still live with my mom. I don't know. I think she still use drugs and everything like that, but I don't know.

1:11:06 Adam How many brothers and sisters do you have? And hold on, let me cock the gun because I'm going to kill myself. Go ahead.

1:11:11 Caller Okay.

1:11:12 Adam How many?

1:11:13 Caller Yeah.

1:11:14 Adam How many brothers and sisters?

1:11:16 Caller I have seven sisters and six brothers.

1:11:19 Caller No!

1:11:20 Adam All right. That's it. Hold on a second, Shannon. Oh, for Christ's sake.

1:11:24 Ali Landry She's the only one living with her grandparents. She needs to stay there.

1:11:27 Adam All right. Let me go on a just minor 45-second tirade about the man, the system, the government, and then we're going to go to break. We, listen, we tell everybody what to do in the society. Everybody, except for the people that are knocking out 14 kids and getting high. Those people are untouchable, would never dream of telling somebody how many kids they can have. Although we have no qualms about telling people how much money they have to pay or what, what addition they can add on to their house, or if they got to wear a seatbelt, or if they got to wear a helmet, or what toll they have to pay, or what tax they have to pay. That's coming out the wazoo, but God forbid you tell some co-core not to have her 11th kid, and all of a sudden somebody's playing God. That is recocculous. I want to tell these people, I want these people sterilized early on. I want the norplant put in them at their first kid. I mean, how old do you think this chick was when she got knocked up the first time? 15, 16? We're gonna let her have 11 kids? I can't put a goddamn guest room above my garage because it's not permitted? I'm gonna kill somebody. You wanna know what's undoing society? This is it, seven girls. Which one of them is gonna be pregnant first? Which one of the boys is gonna be in prison first? Who's gonna kill your kid first? Who's gonna carjack you first? Huh? It drives me insane, insane that the pussies that are in power in this country won't dream of touching this. They're not a politician that'll touch this issue. It drives me insane. And every time somebody tries to come up with something, like, hey, how about some drug testing for people on who are getting welfare? Or how about the mandatory birth control for mothers that are cranking out kids? The ACLU is suing everyone left and right. Good. Listen, you idiots, you pussy politicians and you ACLU lawyers, I hope their kid sticks a shiv in your kid. What do you think of that? I hope this unwanted abused son puts a shiv right in the side of your lily-white kid's ass, recoculis, paralyzed from the waist down. That's what I hope, because that's what you're shooting for, you pussy do-gooders. Please, and these politicians, such wussies, they know what the real problem is. All they want to talk about is, ah, we're going to build more prisons, ah, we're going to build more roads, we're going to get the unemployed employed. You want to do something? Stop having people like this have 12 kids. Magically, it'll all go away. Who's going to fill these prisons? Drew's kids, Ali's kids, my kids? No, these kids. They act as if it's some sort of random cosmic spin of the wheel. Oh, who's going to end up in prison? Well, you never know. Could be one of Drew's triplets. No, it's not Drew's triplets, it's these kids. These kids need to stop being born. Someone's got to do something, and I'm the man. Ali, let's raise a family.

1:14:39 Drew Superhuman.

1:14:39 Adam Superhumans. They'll get your looks in my mouth.

1:14:43 Caller Uh-oh.

1:14:44 Adam That's right.

1:14:44 Caller Uh-oh.

1:14:45 Adam I'll teach them oral sex, because their mom won't talk. All right, we'll be back with Shannon after this.

1:14:51 Caller Back once again with it. Loveline. The man of Corolla, Dr. Drew, will be right back before you know it.

1:14:57 Caller This is Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:15:48 Adam I'm just seeing what Drew was doing, paying no attention to the show, obviously.

1:15:52 Caller He's chatting.

1:15:53 Adam Ten minutes without any conversation.

1:15:55 Drew No, I listened to you rants and rave about your wallet. No, we have to sit here and listen to you.

1:16:00 Adam Oh, Drew, pay attention to this show, would you please? I just sat there and watched you for two minutes while you were totally oblivious to the fact that the show was starting.

1:16:09 Drew I was listening to the music.

1:16:10 Adam Except for the conversation you had with Ali about her phone recorder, I mean about her dictaphone, which was on the air. Please, do I have to tote every barge around here, Drew? Focus.

1:16:22 Caller Come on, buddy.

1:16:23 Adam Let's go. Drew, it's not enough that he does the job that he's doing when he's doing it.

1:16:28 Drew If you want me to host the part, I'll do it. I have no problem doing it.

1:16:30 Adam Drew, just please.

1:16:31 Drew One host, one not-host.

1:16:33 Caller It works fine.

1:16:34 Drew If you want me to do the intros and stuff, I'll be happy.

1:16:36 Adam Listen.

1:16:36 Caller If I started doing it, you would freak out.

1:16:40 Adam Listen to me, Drew. I must, sir. First off, you're gallivanting all over the country, trying to make a buck while you're on the Loveline dime. Fine. Go ahead. I don't care. Then you come into the studio. See, Drew's first thing was, is how much business can I take care of during the commercials, before the show, and after the show? Then sometimes, actually while the show is going on, I'll be in another country doing things. Now, while the show is on and you're in the studio, you're actually working your third job. I can see where this is going, Drew. You're going to start manufacturing shirts in here.

1:17:16 Caller Yes.

1:17:17 Adam You're going to get 15 Guatemalans with sewing machines in here, sewing Dr. Drew tote bags that you're going to be overseeing while you're trying to do the show. Just focus on this show, at least while you're in the room. Please, you owe it to the listeners.

1:17:37 Caller All right.

1:17:38 Adam So again, because I kill myself once, I'm going to kill myself again. You have seven brothers? Seven sisters and five brothers.

1:17:49 Caller Six brothers.

1:17:50 Caller Fourteen of them.

1:17:53 Adam First off, just for fun, do you know all their names?

1:17:58 Caller Pretty much kind of.

1:17:59 Adam Really?

1:18:00 Caller Yeah, but I don't live with them and I don't like, my three older brothers and my older sister, they all got moved into foster homes and I only have one picture of all of them and they keep it with me like all the time, and that's the only time I've ever seen them and I only know basically their names.

1:18:19 Adam How many dads are we dealing with here?

1:18:22 Caller I don't know.

1:18:23 Adam You don't know? No. Hasn't the court gotten involved with this and tried to stop your mom from cranking out the kids?

1:18:34 Caller Like she was in California and she got sent to court for like child endangerment or something like that.

1:18:39 Adam Yeah. What about that? It should be the people of California versus her, not just her own kids.

1:18:47 Ali Landry How many of your brothers and sisters are there home with your mom?

1:18:49 Caller Are there?

1:18:50 Caller Yeah.

1:18:52 Adam Well, she has 19 living at home with her currently.

1:18:55 Drew Here's what I'm hoping. I hope that she's not now with her mom's parents.

1:18:58 Caller No, she can't come back to California because she didn't show up for her court date.

1:19:03 Adam Oh, okay. And you're living with whose parents?

1:19:06 Caller My mom's parents.

1:19:08 Drew That can't be good.

1:19:10 Adam How are they doing?

1:19:12 Caller Well, my grandfather, he's in like really bad health and my grandma, she's like kind of stressed out because my brother, he like has ADHD and OCD and my-

1:19:27 Drew How many of the kids is your grandma taking care of right now?

1:19:29 Caller Just me and my brother.

1:19:31 Adam And all the other kids are in foster care or some are living with your mom?

1:19:36 Caller My older brothers and my older sister, I know, are in foster care. And then the rest are like one of them, her name is Brianna. She's living with her dad in California, but he's a convicted child molester.

1:19:53 Adam Oh, fantastic.

1:19:54 Caller Yeah. And-

1:19:56 Adam All right, so-

1:19:57 Drew Probably all the dads are, frankly. I mean, think about it.

1:19:58 Adam Listen, Shannon, here's what I want you to do. I know this sounds cruel, but at drastic times, drastic measures, I want you to go home and live with your mom, but I want you to stramp a bomb to yourself. You what? You got to stramp a bomb to yourself and take your mom out. Someone's got to do it.

1:20:18 Drew You know what?

1:20:18 Adam I want you to be one of my soldiers.

1:20:20 Drew Mom is no longer-

1:20:21 Caller I'm taking mom out.

1:20:22 Drew Mom is no longer a threat, though. I'm sure that her uterus is like falling out of her-

1:20:27 Caller She contacted me like in July. She said that she had gotten turned around and she's like, like all- she's married again and she's a Christian.

1:20:42 Caller No.

1:20:44 Adam She found Jesus Christ.

1:20:46 Caller Yeah. She called the day after my birthday and she asked to talk about me, talk to me or anything.

1:20:52 Adam Oh boy.

1:20:53 Caller She wished me happy birthday.

1:20:54 Adam Hey Shannon, are you going to school? How's that going?

1:20:59 Caller All right.

1:21:00 Adam Okay. Shannon, let me just have a real quick heart to heart with you, Shannon. Hey, you listen to- do you listen to the show? All right. So you know I'm a genius?

1:21:10 Caller Somewhat.

1:21:12 Adam And I can perform moral sex. Listen to me, Shannon, and listen to me all you. I know this sounds arrogant, pompous, and grandiose, but I'm never wrong. Never.

1:21:21 Caller Never?

1:21:22 Caller Never.

1:21:23 Adam Never. I don't talk about things I don't know about. Here is your plan. Do well in school. Forget about your mother. Forget about all your brothers and sisters for now. Just forget about them. Focus on school. Focus on activities. Focus on being well. Focus on going off to college. Focus on not getting pregnant. And focus on not letting yourself turn out the way your mom and the rest of the family turned out. You can do it. You're 15. You're not pregnant. You're not hooked on heroin. You have your whole life ahead of you, but you're right at the cusp here. Don't go home. Stay with your grandparents. Finish school. Get your grades good and go off somewhere to college.

1:22:09 Drew That's the deal.

1:22:09 Caller But why can't I just let my life go and make sure all my other brothers and sisters have a good life?

1:22:19 Ali Landry Because you're only 15.

1:22:20 Drew Because, Shannon...

1:22:21 Caller No, they're only like two, eight months.

1:22:23 Drew But, Shannon, here's the deal. You deserve to have a life, too. And I understand that the incredible pain that you went through growing up, you want to rescue your siblings from. But you can't do that. You're 15. You're not the parent. Certainly your siblings' chances of getting through without the unbelievable chaos you lived with is somewhat higher because your mom has found some way of managing herself, which is through religion, and hoping that will create some stability. But in the meantime, let's have one person get through this in one piece.

1:22:54 Adam That's right.

1:22:55 Caller You become successful.

1:22:56 Ali Landry You need to concentrate on you and do what's best for you and not worry about them.

1:22:59 Adam You become successful. You'll be able to afford attorneys for all your brothers and sisters one day.

1:23:04 Ali Landry You can take care of them all.

1:23:05 Drew That's the way to look at it.

1:23:06 Adam Yes. Yes. They're going to need good legal representation later on in life, I guarantee it. And listen to me. First off, when I'm in power, my hit squad is going to put this mom down. I will put her down. I'll put a bullet right in the back of her head. I don't care. And I'll sleep like a baby, like a baby. I feel sorry for her. I'm sorry for what someone did to her once upon a time. But I cannot have her pollute in the pool that everyone else is swimming in. Can't have it. It's a society. I'll put a bullet right in her head. No problem with that. Number two, her finding Jesus Christ, too late. Listen to me. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And you know what? Even Jesus, who has a pretty decent sense of humor, not, you ain't buying your way into heaven, honey.

1:23:53 Caller You're going to hell.

1:23:55 Adam I'll see you in hell. That's what I love about these idiots. I will screw up the lives of 14, 15 people. And then I'll find Jesus Christ and don't worry. I'm going to heaven. Are you kidding me? That ain't the way it works. It can't work that way. It can't. There's something so fundamentally effed up with that logic. It's only the logic of stupid, grandiose narcissist. Believe that crap. We're trapped in prison. Yeah, I can kill a couple of people and hatch 15 kids and ruin a bunch of lives and still get to heaven. Are you kidding me? And I jack off and I'm going to hell? Use your minds, you idiots.

1:24:31 Caller Please.

1:24:32 Adam Jesus. Personal. By the way, there's no Jesus. I mean, there was, but he's dead. Please use your brain. Ali, I know you're religious, but come on. It's comical. Have a cross on you. I know, but it's nonsense. You gotta know. You gotta know it's nonsense.

1:24:46 Ali Landry It's not.

1:24:47 Adam Please.

1:24:48 Drew Chris. 36.

1:24:50 Adam How do you figure it works, Ali? You die, you go to heaven? You'd be up there with the mom who had 15 kids and the guys who killed a bunch of people that found Christ before the state put them down in the electric chair? Have a good time.

1:25:02 Drew Chris.

1:25:03 Adam Enjoy. Bunch of guys with tats. Are you kidding me? Chris? You're 36.

1:25:11 Caller Yes.

1:25:12 Adam What's up?

1:25:15 Caller I'm getting a divorce this week and I think the biggest problem is because my wife's a nympho.

1:25:20 Drew What does that mean?

1:25:23 Caller She just...

1:25:26 Caller I think she'd just like to walk around with a penis in her all the time.

1:25:28 Adam Who's she having sex with beside you?

1:25:31 Caller I'm not sure.

1:25:32 Adam Well, how do you know she's having sex with someone beside you?

1:25:35 Caller I didn't know until we were like separated and she told me.

1:25:39 Caller What did she tell you?

1:25:40 Caller That she was seeing somebody after we weren't together anymore.

1:25:44 Caller Oh, that whore.

1:25:46 Drew But wait a minute.

1:25:47 Adam That's her marrity. She's going out with someone after you guys broke up.

1:25:50 Drew Isn't that what she's supposed to do?

1:25:51 Adam Every one of my ex-girlfriends is a nympho.

1:25:53 Caller We weren't really broke up.

1:25:54 Caller We were trying to reconciliate.

1:25:57 Drew Yeah, but part of separate...

1:25:58 Caller And she's like in my house and we have a baby.

1:26:00 Caller We have a three-year-old.

1:26:01 Adam All right. Hold on a second, Chris.

1:26:03 Caller Hold on.

1:26:03 Adam We got to take a break, all right, buddy?

1:26:05 Caller Yeah.

1:26:05 Adam We'll get this. Oh, Chris's daddy, everybody. I can hear his voice too.

1:26:11 Drew He's older than you are.

1:26:14 Adam Okay.

1:26:15 Ali Landry He's older than you are?

1:26:16 Adam We're going to take a little break. He's younger than you are though, wise ass. Ali Landry is our guest.

1:26:22 Caller Well, you can hear that.

1:26:24 Adam We'll take a little break. We'll be back with Chris and his woes after this.

1:26:29 Caller Let's have some more fun.

1:26:30 Caller Okay. This is Love Line on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. This is Love Line on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:27:13 Drew Hey, it's Love Line, the number is 1-800-L-O-G. We were talking to Chris. He's 36.

1:27:21 Caller Let's get Chris up here, shall we?

1:27:23 Adam Listen here, Drew.

1:27:24 Drew Hey, I can host it or not.

1:27:26 Caller It's your choice.

1:27:27 Drew Oh, shut up.

1:27:27 Caller Or I can have you do it.

1:27:29 Caller Jesus Christ.

1:27:30 Caller Chris, what's going on?

1:27:31 Adam You know what I'm talking about. Chris?

1:27:34 Caller Yes.

1:27:34 Adam All right, screwball. Your wife had...

1:27:37 Caller All right.

1:27:39 Adam How old is your kid?

1:27:40 Caller Three.

1:27:41 Adam Three. Okay. What's up with you? You work construction, right?

1:27:45 Caller No. No.

1:27:47 Caller Huh?

1:27:48 Adam What do you do?

1:27:48 Caller I make agricultural loans for Prudential.

1:27:51 Adam You make loans?

1:27:53 Caller Yeah, we...

1:27:54 Caller Yeah.

1:27:54 Drew But now, are you just angry at your wife because she saw someone else while you guys were separated?

1:27:58 Caller No.

1:27:58 Caller No, get this. She, uh...

1:28:00 Drew She...

1:28:01 Caller She's...

1:28:02 Caller Uh...

1:28:04 Caller She prefers sex over food.

1:28:07 Ali Landry While you were married, you had this problem?

1:28:09 Caller Yeah.

1:28:10 Drew With you, though?

1:28:11 Caller Yeah, she's just like always ready and...

1:28:15 Drew You're gay.

1:28:16 Adam So what's wrong with that?

1:28:18 Caller Well, can you believe that?

1:28:20 Caller Somebody bitching about something like that? Priority in her life.

1:28:23 Drew No, we...

1:28:24 Adam How often would you have sex when you were together?

1:28:27 Caller Well, like every time you walked by, it'd be fine.

1:28:29 Adam Oh, really? All right. Did anything happen to her growing up?

1:28:33 Caller I don't know. I wonder about that.

1:28:35 Drew Have you ever talked to her about that?

1:28:36 Caller Yes, and we've... we've done some therapy, too.

1:28:39 Drew And what... what came up?

1:28:40 Caller Nothing.

1:28:41 Caller Nothing. I think she's hiding something.

1:28:43 Drew I don't know. Is she an addict or an alcoholic?

1:28:45 Caller Pardon me?

1:28:45 Drew Is she an addict or an alcoholic?

1:28:47 Caller No.

1:28:48 Drew Is she real lay-by? Does she get real angry real easily?

1:28:51 Caller Yeah.

1:28:51 Adam Yeah. She get along well with her folks?

1:28:54 Caller No.

1:28:55 Caller Well, she got along with her dad. He passed away about two years ago.

1:28:58 Adam All right.

1:28:59 Caller She's not over that.

1:29:00 Adam No step-dads?

1:29:01 Caller No.

1:29:02 Adam No weird uncles she doesn't want to talk about? Maybe.

1:29:05 Caller Huh?

1:29:06 Adam What do you mean?

1:29:09 Caller There are some unusual people in her family. Uh-huh.

1:29:12 Adam Does she not want any contact with some of them?

1:29:17 Caller Yes and no. She doesn't.

1:29:19 Drew You said something about her needing a penis all the time. Did she ever actually say things like that?

1:29:25 Caller Yeah. Yeah. She says it.

1:29:26 Drew Yeah. Because it's interesting. There's some literature out there about women who actually feel like they're falling apart if they don't have that connection all the time. They fragment.

1:29:36 Adam I got the same thing but it's in the ass.

1:29:38 Drew It's what Chris?

1:29:39 Caller That's actually getting to the question. I was asking that. I hate to even say this out loud but I heard about this sex syndrome thing that people get and there's medication for it.

1:29:50 Drew Well.

1:29:51 Caller And like she really wigs out. I mean all you have to do is bang her once in a while and she's fine.

1:29:57 Caller Four, five, ten, twenty.

1:30:00 Caller She's just all ready all the time.

1:30:02 Drew Well, it's an uncomfortable way to be because she's never satisfied. She's always feeling incomplete. The people literally feel like they're fracturing if they're not sort of with this out.

1:30:10 Adam Well, Ali's that way. She's telling me during the break. I wonder where Chris went to finishing school. I got bang her four or five times just to keep her head clear.

1:30:21 Caller All right.

1:30:23 Adam Boy, this was a match made in heaven. Listen, Chris, you have a kid. Please, please try to be sane for the kid. For the kid, everybody.

1:30:32 Drew Can we just hear a little bit about his growing up?

1:30:34 Adam No, no, no, I don't care. Listen, therapy, work it out, work on the kid, salvage the marriage, all that stuff in the name of the kid, or break up, but please be civil about it. And again, try to create some sort of stability for your child. That's all I'm interested in anymore. I've now written off everyone over 30. It's like Logan's run. Jason? Yeah, you're 18. Hi. Drew, did you see Logan's run? No. God bless you. It was right in your wheelhouse.

1:31:08 Drew Yeah, I should have though.

1:31:09 Adam Yeah. You really should have.

1:31:10 Drew At least I knew what you were referring to.

1:31:12 Adam Ali's too young for, you never heard of Logan's run?

1:31:15 Drew He wasn't born yet. What are you talking about?

1:31:16 Adam That's what I love about me. That's what I love about the hell, hell of my life. I make a reference, I got someone who's too young to remember and a guy who should be, is too old, but can't remember.

1:31:25 Caller But Soylent Green is that?

1:31:27 Adam Oh, you should have heard of Logan's run. No.

1:31:29 Drew Soylent Green, you heard of that? No.

1:31:31 Adam Okay, but listen to me. Now hold on a second, Ali. First off, you're in Hollywood, you're a movie star, right?

1:31:37 Ali Landry Logan's run? No.

1:31:38 Adam I know. I know. It's too early for you. But let me tell you, there's a few movies that were out that were too early for me too. But I know the movie. I may not have seen it. You should have heard of it. That's what I'm saying.

1:31:52 Drew You're talking about stuff that's sort of culturally relevant. The equivalent for you would be about 1952.

1:31:57 Ali Landry I'll check it out.

1:31:58 Drew There's stuff, all kinds of stuff that was happening. You know the classics, but you don't know the stuff that was sort of relevant culturally for people who lived in 1952.

1:32:05 Adam Well, wait a second. Yeah, I know what you're saying. But Ali, how old are you? So I'm nine years older than you. Logan's run out. No. Logan's runs like 77, 78.

1:32:21 Drew No, no, no way.

1:32:22 Adam Yeah, it's later. Anderson, come on, go grab that movie book of yours.

1:32:26 Drew It's high school for me.

1:32:27 Adam No, it's not 72.

1:32:29 Drew Maybe 74.

1:32:31 Adam Jason?

1:32:32 Caller Yeah.

1:32:32 Adam All right, I'm sorry, brother. Wait, your Logan's run come out? Yeah. Okay, Jason, you're 18, your girlfriend orgasms too quickly and then wants to stop.

1:32:43 Caller Can I say one thing?

1:32:44 Adam Yeah.

1:32:45 Caller My girlfriend thinks that you should change your name to like, I don't know, like honey mustard or something besides mayonnaise.

1:32:53 Adam Yeah, but the man A's with the Z, you know what I'm saying?

1:32:58 Caller Yeah.

1:32:58 Adam Okay.

1:32:58 Drew All right, Anderson, what is it?

1:33:00 Adam All right.

1:33:01 Caller All right.

1:33:01 Adam So your girlfriend orgasms too quickly. Right. And then gets very sensitive. Yeah. Okay, Drew, what should he do?

1:33:08 Drew Quick. He has to learn to sort of manage himself in the contact of what she can do. You know what I mean?

1:33:13 Adam So he's got to...

1:33:14 Drew He's got to figure out a way to...

1:33:16 Adam Well, listen, she's got to shift to oral sex and polish him off. Is that what you're saying?

1:33:20 Drew Something like that.

1:33:21 Adam All right.

1:33:22 Drew Whatever they enjoy together.

1:33:24 Adam Yeah, we're not going to give you any answers for this one. A lot of foreplay, a lot of lubrication, that kind of stuff.

1:33:30 Drew Yeah, for him.

1:33:31 Adam Try not to be so damn sexy. That's what I do, although I think I overdo it. Courtney.

1:33:38 Caller Yeah.

1:33:39 Drew Yep.

1:33:40 Adam How long after sex can you take a pregnancy test?

1:33:43 Caller Yeah.

1:33:43 Adam Two weeks, right, Drew?

1:33:45 Drew There are faster ones out there now.

1:33:47 Adam Where do you get them?

1:33:48 Drew Pharmacy.

1:33:48 Adam Okay, Steve?

1:33:50 Caller Yeah.

1:33:50 Adam Yeah, 25. Want to know if mild steroids use causes psychosis?

1:33:56 Caller Yes, psychosis.

1:33:57 Caller What's steroids?

1:33:58 Caller Yeah, like Anovar, Wimstrol.

1:34:01 Drew Absolutely. Mania, depression, psychosis.

1:34:04 Ali Landry What else does steroids cause? You hear all these things.

1:34:07 Caller Oh, man.

1:34:07 Adam Hario's on the juice, huh?

1:34:09 Ali Landry No, he's not.

1:34:10 Drew Heart, liver, kidney disease, strokes. Heart attacks.

1:34:12 Caller Very bad for you.

1:34:13 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

1:34:46 Drew Mercifully, we are done. Loveline, I want to thank Ali Landry for joining us tonight. I was just hearing all the amazing, bizarre things people have you do with Doritos, your fans, that is.

1:34:54 Ali Landry I know. They're waiting outside right now, I guess.

1:34:56 Drew To sign bags of Doritos and to take pictures of her eating Doritos.

1:35:00 Ali Landry I'm sorry, that's kind of like the worst is throwing it in the mouth.

1:35:03 Drew Well, they said, stand back.

1:35:05 Ali Landry I want to throw this out.

1:35:05 Drew Yeah, yeah. If you catch it.

1:35:07 Caller Oh, my God.

1:35:08 Drew Like I saw that commercial was about you standing there catching Doritos. Yeah, in the mouth.

1:35:11 Caller That's right. Confused Doritos people. God bless you. You look successful.

1:35:16 Drew Anyway, it's Loveline. We're back in tomorrow night when the guest is going to be Sheri. No, is that right? Sheri Rapaport from NYPD Blue. She did a good show Thursday night. We'll have Annabelle Chung's story, Grace Q, right?

1:35:35 Ali Landry Yeah, that's the interesting girl.

1:35:36 Caller Oh, yes, interesting. Okay. Amen.

1:35:40 Drew Okay.

1:35:40 Caller All right.

1:35:42 Drew I've heard enough now. Anyway, thanks for participating tonight. Ali, again, thank you so much for joining us and supporting us and coming back and visiting us. We really appreciate having you.

1:35:48 Caller Thank you.

1:35:49 Drew We'll see you soon. So for Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew on his behalf saying mahalo.

1:35:53 Adam I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Well, now.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2000