Episode 1000754887693

4:05 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

4:16 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

4:19 Voiceover Loveline.

4:24 Voiceover Wait a minute. Hey, it's Loveline Andy. This show is a rich tradition of guests speaking the exact moment the mics heat up and of Drew urging them on usually in some certified debate. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Facts number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight our guest is Andy Lauer. Andy, of course, you know from all those seasons on Caroline in the City and now co-starring in Gunshy. What we're saying right as we went on the air, Andy, by the way.

5:05 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay. I know you have a lot of affiliates. Do you know how many affiliates you have?

5:08 No.

5:10 Adam 60, 65, maybe?

5:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer 60, 65, right.

5:13 Adam I think.

5:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's about 60, 68.

5:16 Adam Oh, it is?

5:17 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah, about.

5:17 Adam All right.

5:18 Drew That's the original edge of our show. It's great.

5:20 Adam Yeah. How do you know?

5:21 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Because I've got some pals in Austin that are in the business school, and I have to say hello to them. Specifically, Dan Self, he wanted me to wish his girlfriend, Michelle, a happy that he's really in love.

5:37 Adam How does he know how many affiliates we have?

5:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer He doesn't. I asked your peoples to send a thing if you guys were in Austin, and indeed you are, which is a really cool town. Yeah.

5:50 Drew We've spoken there. Yeah.

5:53 Adam Austin is cool and sort of on the rise.

5:56 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer K-Rocks.

5:57 Adam Yeah. What?

5:59 Drew What?

6:01 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer K-Rocks, that's the name of the affiliate. That's the name of the station.

6:04 Adam We know that. We know all our affiliates, right?

6:05 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Don't you know that? Yeah.

6:07 Adam We knew we were in Austin. Listen, we don't get caught up in this whole star stuff with the affiliates and whatnot.

6:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Sure. No, stay local. Start local. Think local.

6:14 Adam Yes. That's what we do. We don't really know what stations we're on, to be perfectly fair.

6:19 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right. Drew just handed you a cake, but I actually brought-

6:23 Adam What did you bring, Andy?

6:24 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Ice cream.

6:24 Adam Nice. All right. A la mode. There you are. That's it. We're putting the apple pie in the microwave. Andy brought individual sundaes.

6:34 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Well, there's five, so engineer and producer get one.

6:38 Adam Wow.

6:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Not bad.

6:40 Adam That is really touching.

6:41 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Food bribe.

6:42 Adam Well, just for that, I'm going to plug Andy's projects. Not only is he in Gunshy, which is currently out, but he's also has written and directed a short about two American students who run into Cuban refugees. How the hell did you come up with that idea?

7:02 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I lived in Jamaica and I used to go to Cuba all the time. Oh, really? Yeah.

7:06 Adam How far is Jamaica from Cuba?

7:09 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah, it's about an hour plane ride by Air Cubana, which flies Aeroflots from circa 1950s. So in a decent plane like the plane that Dr. Drew owns, one of the Learjets, it would probably take just under 30.

7:26 Adam When you saw it out in the parking lot? Yeah.

7:28 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Not bad.

7:29 Adam Very nice.

7:29 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Drew's moving up.

7:30 Adam All right. So now when you say short, what is a short? Is that 20 minutes? Is that half hour? How long is your average short?

7:38 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer They like them to be 20 minutes and this is just right in there. Actually, it's a film about raising consciousness for Cuban refugees.

7:46 Adam I know you want to talk about that, but I'm more interested in the duration of it, which is a feature-length film is like somewhere around 90 minutes and up or somewhere in there, right?

7:57 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Ideally, yeah.

7:58 Adam Then there's a short, which is about 20 minutes.

8:00 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Sure.

8:01 Adam Is there any mid-length anything? Is there anything that's 45 minutes? Is there any category that's an hour or 50 minutes? No. You know what I'm saying?

8:09 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer No, no, those go something 40 minutes or 60 minutes would be a really long short, way too long. And if it was a full-length feature, it would be a really short full-length.

8:23 Adam Right. So it'd either be a tall short or short long. Yeah. And let's talk about Gunshy. You go ahead. I haven't seen it because I've been out of the country.

8:34 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Oh, it's a hoot. It's a very dark, black, deep comedy. So much so that I didn't know that it was a comedy when I read it.

8:42 Adam Oh, and that's Liam Neeson and the beautiful... What the hell is her name? Sandra Bullock.

8:50 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I think it's Sandra.

8:51 Adam Yeah. Pretty...

8:51 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Sandra Bullock and Oliver Platt. He's funny. The thing about Liam, Liam's a great guy, really lousy soccer player.

8:59 Adam Oh, really?

9:00 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah.

9:00 Adam With that accent, he's a bad soccer player?

9:02 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I know you'd think. Really?

9:04 Adam Yeah. I just figure everyone from a foreign country is a good soccer player.

9:07 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right. Born with a ball on their foot.

9:09 Adam At least they all claim to be. But I guess if I moved abroad, I would claim I was the world's greatest baseball player or something.

9:15 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Sure.

9:15 Adam Why not? Who's going to challenge you?

9:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Who's going to test that? Because there really is no baseball.

9:20 Adam Right. So a horrible soccer player, good actor, nice guy?

9:24 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah. And she's her.

9:27 Adam Is she nice?

9:29 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah. She's nice, but she was producing as well. So she was either really great or like a total bitch.

9:34 Adam Oh, so she was cracking the whip a little bit.

9:36 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer When she had to.

9:37 Adam Well, I mean, she's paying for some of this stuff, right?

9:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer She's paying for, yeah, major, major.

9:42 Adam Right.

9:42 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer A lot of it. Not paying, but she put it all together.

9:46 Adam I'll tell you, I swear to God, if I was paying for a movie and I came around and a bunch of teamsters and grips were hanging around craft service.

9:54 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Which they were.

9:55 Adam Costing me, you know, $17,000 an hour or something, I'd be cracking the whip too.

10:03 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You have to. You have to. If you're producing, then you've got to be a cracker.

10:08 Adam Elaine, hey, I cracked the whip and I'm in no way involved in any show that I'm working.

10:12 Drew Cracking away, having trouble getting home. We looked for you all over the Cincinnati airport yesterday.

10:17 Adam Oh, you did?

10:17 Drew Oh, yes.

10:18 Adam I was getting drunk.

10:19 Drew We, of course, missed our flight.

10:20 Adam Oh, you did?

10:21 Drew Oh, yes. And then missed the next one.

10:22 Adam Yeah, I missed mine too.

10:24 Drew And then did the whole same thing all over again from the previous night, running to the goddamn event with five minutes to go. And, you know, got old man Moses driving my car. I'm in Missouri. College is in sight. Ho ho! Sonny, look what's happening. Look what's coming. A coal train.

10:43 Adam Oh, really?

10:43 Drew Coal train. The car five minutes ago, the school was in sight. I thought this is a message from God.

10:50 Adam Drew.

10:50 Drew Coal train. I go, sir, how long are these trains? Oh, about a mile and a half.

10:54 Adam Drew and I were in, we were in Lexington, Kentucky yesterday morning. You heard me bitch about it on the air. We had to drive from Lexington to Cincinnati, and that's when we went our own ways.

11:05 Drew We went running.

11:06 Adam Drew went running one way, I went running the other way. He was trying to get to St. Louis, and I was trying to get to Chicago. How long did you stay around the Cincinnati airport?

11:17 Drew Two hours.

11:18 Adam Yeah, we could have hooked up. I just went to the bar and just immediately started drowning myself. Elaine?

11:23 Yes.

11:23 Adam You're 28.

11:24 Caller I am.

11:25 Adam I'll tell you, I had this weird thought that, granted I was drunken on the plane, but I thought I wouldn't mind just going to random airports around the country sitting at some barn getting loaded.

11:37 Caller Well, why didn't you come up to Miami?

11:39 Adam Actually, I have been doing that.

11:40 Caller You just did that for a few days.

11:41 Drew Had it not been for in Lexington, we would have started screaming at me. A real great example of how your psychology works, like we're chatting, we're bonding, we're talking. All of a sudden, things don't go Adam's way.

11:52 Caller It's unacceptable. It's so pretty anymore.

11:54 Drew It's your fault, you a-hole.

11:55 Adam Well, that's true. Elaine?

11:57 Caller Yes.

11:57 Adam All right, so what's up?

11:58 Caller Okay, I'm 28. The guy I've been seeing, I've been seeing him for a year, a little over a year now.

12:06 Drew How old is he?

12:07 Caller He's 25. We exchanged presents last year on Valentine's Day. And this year, I sort of mentioned it because I had to work today on Valentine's Day to save a day later in the week for me so he could celebrate. And he said that he wasn't going to get me anything. I shouldn't get him anything, not to expect anything for Valentine's Day because we're not going to celebrate it this year. It's the principle of the matter, he said.

12:34 Drew What is the principle?

12:36 Caller Well, he said it's against his faith.

12:38 Drew What's his faith?

12:38 Caller Oh, he's Greek Orthodox. I did look it up and they do not celebrate, they don't believe that Valentinius was a saint. So they don't believe in St. Valentine. But he believes in premarital sex.

12:53 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Hello. He doesn't say anything about that in the Greek Orthodox.

12:58 Adam What about last year?

12:59 Caller Yeah, we had a gift last year. That's the thing.

13:03 Adam Did he become Greek Orthodox in the last year?

13:06 Drew Did he become consummated in this relationship as a result of being a nice guy last year?

13:12 Adam No.

13:12 Drew You know what I'm asking?

13:15 Adam Did you put out last year because he got you some flowers?

13:17 Caller Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I put out last year.

13:20 Drew Yeah.

13:21 Adam Well, he knows you put out now, so why buy the flowers?

13:25 Caller Oh, do you think that's it?

13:27 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah, it doesn't do.

13:28 I think I got a Christmas gift.

13:30 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah, but Greek celebrate Christmas.

13:32 Adam He knew you were going to get him something, that's all. Hey, Elaine?

13:36 Caller Yeah.

13:37 Adam I don't know. I wouldn't put that much stock in this one. I'm worried about it a little bit.

13:42 Caller All right.

13:43 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Let me ask you something. Is every day Valentine's Day in your relationship?

13:46 Caller Oh, hell no.

13:47 Drew No, it should be. Walk. Either he's telling you something or he's a big a-hole.

13:51 Oh, hey, Adam, can I ask you a question?

13:53 Caller Yeah. How's your relationship with your mother?

13:57 Adam It's all right.

13:58 Caller I just wondered because whenever a female calls in, you ask how their relationship with their father is. You never ask the guys how their relationship with their mother is.

14:05 Adam No, I was asking a... Now, if you were listening to the show last night, and I don't know if you were, but a guy called up, said he had two girlfriends, a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old, and he was sort of mean to both of them. And I said to him, what do you think your mom? Where's your mom?

14:22 Caller Okay. See, this doesn't happen often, right?

14:25 Adam Well, here's the reality. We have more women calling up with guy issues than we do guys with women issues. It's true.

14:33 Drew Guys call up about themselves, and women call up about them to guys.

14:39 Adam Right. Guys call up and they go, I got cauliflower growing out of my penis. And girls call up and go, my boyfriend's got cauliflower growing out of his penis.

14:45 Drew Really what it is is a guy calls up, am I big enough? Do I last long enough? I've got cauliflower. And the girls are calling up, how could they be like this? Why are they like that? What are they all about?

14:54 Adam But also, I do think that there's a more direct connection between a young female's relationship with her father and her relationships than there is a guy, his relationship with his mother, and his current relationship. Not that there's no connection. It's more like one's 90% and the other's 65%.

15:14 Drew Just a little more transparent.

15:15 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Or it's so deep we don't really care.

15:17 Adam That's right.

15:18 Caller Mom, I'm so mad at you! I am so mad at you, mom!

15:22 Adam What the hell did you get that?

15:26 Drew Tom?

15:27 Adam Tom? Caller goes by the name Tom. You're 17. What's up?

15:34 Caller I read in a magazine there are these diet pills, I guess, that are supposed to blast away fat.

15:43 Drew Well, of course they work. Well, you sleep.

15:45 Adam You know it works if they show that computer drawing of the fat chick and then the same computer drawing of the fat cell is dissolving. Exploding? What do you mean, absolving? I mean, dissolving. Go ahead, Tom.

15:57 Caller So it really does work?

15:59 Adam Oh, Tom. Tom, you're 17. How much do you weigh?

16:03 Caller No, I mean, it's not me. I weigh like 200 pounds. But I mean, my friend's on him.

16:08 Adam Yeah.

16:09 Drew And you're fat.

16:10 Caller He's 350.

16:11 Adam Right.

16:12 Caller And he wants to start taking these and he asked me today if he should take them.

16:17 Drew No.

16:18 Caller What should he do?

16:18 Drew Don't be ridiculous.

16:19 Adam Well, what should he do?

16:20 Drew He should see a dietician and start exercising and take care of this properly.

16:24 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer But Dr. Drew, didn't they do a whole placebo, a whole test with these pills? They must have. Where they give 10 guys, placebos, 10 people.

16:33 Drew You can say anything you want.

16:35 Adam You can?

16:35 Drew You can say anything you want.

16:37 Adam You mean on like his diet pills?

16:38 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer But is it distributed by Merck or another pharmaceutical company?

16:42 Drew Of course not. You need a prescription for that.

16:44 Adam So this is just...

16:45 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Oh, these are over-the-counter.

16:45 Drew Yeah. These are something we read about in a magazine. Right.

16:48 Adam And so what is it usually? Just a little speed?

16:52 Drew Ma Wang or something. Well, actually the...

16:54 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Ma Wang.

16:55 Drew What's that stuff that does work a little bit, but it's not good for you? There is one out there that does...

17:00 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Fen-Fen?

17:01 Drew No. That works too. But you don't want to take that. There is no free lunch out there, man. I'm telling you. If it works, especially after that, there will be a side effect.

17:09 Adam It's... I'll tell you what it takes. Discipline and hard work. Drew?

17:13 Drew Yeah.

17:13 Adam Why don't you heat up the pie so we got it during the break.

17:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer The ice cream is cold.

17:17 Adam That's right. Jamie?

17:18 Yeah.

17:19 Adam You're 15. What's up?

17:21 Caller I noticed a couple weeks ago that I have these white bumps growing around my penis, like by the head, and now I'm uncircumcised, but... and I know that can't be an STD because I haven't had sex.

17:33 Drew Those are the pearly penile papules.

17:35 Caller Oh, yeah. I heard you talking about them before on an earlier show.

17:40 Drew Yeah.

17:40 How do you get rid of them?

17:41 Drew You don't.

17:42 Caller You don't?

17:44 Adam What do you do?

17:45 Drew They're normal.

17:46 Adam Do they go away?

17:47 Drew No. They're normal.

17:48 Adam Well, how come some people get them and some people don't?

17:50 Drew Because.

17:51 Adam Okay.

17:51 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Just because.

17:52 Adam Hey, Jamie?

17:53 Drew Yeah?

17:54 Adam You can now refer to your penis as the studded wonder.

17:58 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Work with it.

17:59 Adam Yeah. Make it work.

18:00 Drew Sunflower.

18:01 Adam You get lemons, you make lemonade. Right in the toilet. All right, Jamie?

18:07 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Have sex in the dark, man.

18:08 Adam Don't worry about it.

18:09 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay.

18:10 Adam You're fine.

18:10 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay.

18:11 Adam Thanks. Okay. Trevor?

18:13 Yeah?

18:14 Adam You're 17. What's up? Trevor?

18:17 Caller Yeah?

18:18 Adam Ask your question, please.

18:20 Caller I'm not 17.

18:21 Drew 14.

18:22 Adam Go ahead. Oh, I'm sorry.

18:25 Caller I am bisexual and my parents don't know about it. And you're 14.

18:33 Drew How do you know what's up?

18:35 Caller Yeah.

18:37 Caller Just because, well, I don't know. I guess I know.

18:41 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Probably has something to do with the locker room.

18:44 Adam Have you been with a guy?

18:47 Caller No, I haven't, but I've had dreams about guys before.

18:51 Yeah.

18:52 Caller You know.

18:52 Caller Ever hang around the gymnasium?

18:55 Adam And you've had dreams about guys and you lost after guys?

19:00 Caller Yeah.

19:00 Adam What about women?

19:02 Caller I do like women too, though. Yeah.

19:04 Drew Okay. Trevor, just calm down. This will sort itself out one way or another if time goes long. Okay.

19:09 Adam Theoretically.

19:10 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And in that time, you know, if you do find your feelings one way or the other, it's totally cool, man. No skin off your back. I mean, it's how you're feeling. Don't try to, you know, quash those feelings. Just talk to some friends. Find someone that you can talk to about it. And it's normal. What you're going through is normal.

19:33 Adam Hey, Trevor. Everything okay at home?

19:37 Caller Yeah.

19:38 Adam Yeah.

19:38 Drew Why do you hesitate?

19:40 Caller Well, because I've had problems with my mom before.

19:43 Drew What's the matter?

19:46 Caller I think, you know, it's okay right now.

19:48 Drew What's the problem?

19:51 Caller Well, we've had, you know, like arguments before, but nothing really big.

19:55 Adam All right. Dad around?

19:57 Caller Yeah.

19:57 Adam Nobody monkey with you?

20:00 Drew No. Adam, anybody monkey with you?

20:03 Adam No. Let me see.

20:06 Drew So what day? That's today, Tuesday? Yeah.

20:07 Adam Oh, no Monday? No. Trevor, anyone monkey around with you? No. Okay. So everything's good?

20:14 Caller Yeah.

20:14 Drew You'll figure this out as time goes long. Do not, do not announce to anybody, this is normal kinds of feelings at your age. Just you'll figure it out as we go along here.

20:23 Adam Enjoy the locker room.

20:24 Caller Okay. And also because of-

20:28 Adam Trevor does a lot of sighing.

20:29 Drew Yeah.

20:30 Caller Yeah. Well, because of this, I'm really depressed like all the time.

20:34 Drew Well, that's more of the issue is that you're depressed. That really does not have much to do with your sexual identity. It's not-

20:40 Caller Yeah. And well, and I've talked to my mom about being depressed. And she, I asked her if I could go on something that would go on some sort of drug that would help me with my depression and I'm going to a counselor.

20:57 Go ahead.

20:58 Caller But she said that she won't let me. I was wondering if there was any way I could-

21:03 Drew Won't let you do what?

21:05 Adam Go on the drugs?

21:05 Drew That's not her choice.

21:07 Adam Well, why don't you talk it over with your counselor?

21:09 Drew Yeah, talk to the counselor. If they think you need to see somebody, you have your right to get health care without anybody else's involvement.

21:15 Adam He'll make a wonderful artist.

21:16 Drew Also, he would be good at drdrew.com and the chats and the depression chats. We get lots of support for people who have this sort of thing. You'd be surprised how many people come around and help you out.

21:25 Adam Every 14-year-old is confused. Chris?

21:28 Caller Yes.

21:29 Adam You're 20. What's up?

21:31 Drew Well, we're giving away free condoms, too.

21:33 Caller Me and my girlfriend, we've been together for about a year and a half. About two weeks ago, we found out she was pregnant. They did an ultrasound and everything. They found that the baby was too small for the time that it should, how big it should be. It's too small. They also found a small cyst on one of her ovaries. Then the doctor was doing a lot of blood work and stuff. He found that her hormone level was too low.

22:01 Drew What's your question?

22:02 Caller My question is, he advised us to terminate the pregnancy.

22:06 Drew Okay.

22:08 Caller It's just we're having a tough time making that decision, whether to terminate the pregnancy or to go through with it.

22:14 Drew What did they tell you would happen if you tried to go through with it?

22:17 Caller Well, they said that it wouldn't be healthy for her. She would have either serious complications during the pregnancy, or, you know, she would miscarry the baby along the way anyway.

22:31 Adam All right.

22:31 Drew Which is what's going to happen.

22:33 Adam Chris, this is a sign from God saying, get an abortion.

22:38 Drew This is not an abortion.

22:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer How about get a second opinion?

22:41 Drew A second opinion, but this isn't even an abortion. This is just helping things along. This is something that's going to abort spontaneously.

22:47 Caller And another thing, and this is just real hard with, like her mom and stuff, it's a real, she's real religious, her mother is. And, you know, to her, it's...

22:58 Drew Is there a heartbeat?

22:59 Caller Yeah, they found a heartbeat.

23:02 Adam You guys aren't married, though, right?

23:03 Caller No, we're not married.

23:04 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Do you want the child?

23:05 Caller Yeah, I mean, when we first found out about it, of course we were, you know, shocked and a little disappointed. But, I mean, after she went to the doctor and there was a heartbeat and everything, I mean, we were actually excited, you know? Yeah. And then we find this out and it's just, you know, tough to take.

23:22 Adam Well, why don't you get a second opinion?

23:25 Caller I don't know. I mean...

23:26 Drew They're looking at you guys, entry-utor and growth retardation, low progesterone levels.

23:29 Adam All right, listen. All right, Chris, you'll be pushing this kid around in a shopping cart and well into his 30s. Maybe just get the abortion. And you guys, I'll have another kid in a few years. You'll be better off financially. You'll be done with welding college or whatever the hell is going on. And you'll be in a better position. You guys will be married. You know?

23:50 Caller Yeah.

23:51 Adam I know it's disappointing, but I'm telling you, you're 20. How old is she?

23:55 Caller She's 19.

23:56 Adam Yeah, I mean, you guys both will be in a much better position a few years down the road anyway.

24:00 Drew And they're not giving you casual advice.

24:02 Adam Plus you should be married.

24:03 Caller Yeah, that's true.

24:04 Adam And you know about her mom with the religion and all? Yeah, that's going to factor in. And yeah, I don't think a doctor would tell you to get an abortion unless there were some serious things up with the fetus there. So okay, Chris?

24:18 Caller Alrighty.

24:18 Adam I'm sorry.

24:19 Caller Thanks.

24:19 Adam Take care.

24:20 Bye-bye.

24:21 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. Gunshy is the movie he's promoting. We got ourselves some pie and ice cream to eat.

24:31 Drew Courtesy of FHM Magazine, right?

24:33 Adam They brought the pie, but Andy brought the ice cream. Okay, so Drew, why don't you put the pie in the microwave? Because we should heat it up a little.

24:42 Drew Not with that metal on it.

24:44 Adam I'll tell ya.

24:45 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Problem is problem.

24:46 Adam Somebody, microwaves have been around for coming on 20, 25 years now. They still have not worked out the metal in the microwave problem.

24:54 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Wait, wait, you guys can solve every sexual problem in the book, but you can't solve a tin.

24:58 Adam Drew, you can transfer this. Look, I'm lifting it out of the tin. Now you run ahead. Go ahead, Drew. You go ahead, put the pie in the microwave, put it on a plate, and Andy and I will get some spoons and we'll start the party after this.

25:15 Caller Hit it. This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

25:52 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. And our guest tonight is Andy Lauer. Andy, you know, from many years on Caroline in the City. And now from Gunshy. New movie just out a week and a half ago or something. Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson.

26:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's the number one Sandra Bullock, Liam Neeson film out right now.

26:18 Adam Are you serious?

26:18 Caller Yeah.

26:18 Adam It's quite a distinction. Andy is, Andy we've had on the TV and the radio and well that's all you can do on our show. So Andy brought ice cream so he's in our good graces. Kim?

26:34 Caller Yeah.

26:34 Adam You're 16. What's up?

26:36 Caller I've been reading a book about self-mutilation and there was a little passage in it about trichotillomania which is pulling out your own hair. And it caught my attention because I've been pulling out my own hair for the past four years. And I wasn't aware that it was a form of self-mutilation.

26:51 Caller Wow.

26:53 Caller I can't find any more information about it.

26:55 Drew It's really more conceptualized as an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

26:58 Caller Yeah.

27:00 Drew And it can be part of depression. It can be part of other personality issues.

27:03 Adam Hey, if you can do your bikini area, it's not a problem. Is it, Drew? I mean, think about it.

27:08 Drew It's a skill.

27:08 Adam If you take that and you aim it in the right direction, then you got yourself a gig.

27:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Take some practice.

27:15 Adam Put a couple of Asian women out of work.

27:17 Drew I beg your pardon.

27:18 Adam All right. Kim? Mm-hmm. You always pull it out of your head, right?

27:23 Caller My head and my eyebrows and my eyelashes.

27:25 Adam Yeah. I wish I should do that with my brow.

27:28 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I was staying.

27:28 Adam Thin it up a little.

27:29 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I'm looking at you and I'm thinking.

27:31 Adam Yeah. I could use a little of that trick-or-treat-a-menia there in the eyebrow, right?

27:34 Drew Just right in the middle, especially.

27:35 Adam Just in the middle so it wouldn't connect.

27:36 Drew Stay on the line.

27:37 Adam And drive a golden spike on the bridge of my nose to connect my two brows.

27:41 Drew Well, Kim, do you take medication for it?

27:44 Drew There's medication. It's very effective for that. It's really a big deal.

27:47 Caller I'm kind of wary about taking medication.

27:49 Drew You got therapy?

27:50 Caller No.

27:51 Drew Why aren't you doing something about it? It's a sign that there's something really going on here.

27:56 Adam Okay. Listen, also you can stop, you know.

27:59 Drew Okay.

28:01 Adam All right.

28:01 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer All these years.

28:02 Drew Yeah. Kim, don't bother calling.

28:04 Adam Kim, just pick yourself down to a nub, all right? We don't care. All right. Enjoy.

28:10 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You know, I've got this friend of mine, she asked me to ask a sex question that I have to because she's having this problem. She can pleasure herself in a minute flat, but she cannot get others to pleasure her.

28:26 Drew At all? In any way?

28:29 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's happened twice and she's 27, 28.

28:35 Adam She can, she's had two orgasms with a man in her career, but she can do it herself on a nightly basis.

28:42 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Bada boom.

28:43 Adam Under a minute.

28:44 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah.

28:44 Adam Yeah. Is there any technique that she uses that the guy can't use? I mean, does it involve a bathtub or vibrator or anything like that?

28:53 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Toys?

28:54 Adam It does.

28:57 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer She's not so sure about that. Probably does use something, but I'm really not sure. I was thinking-

29:09 Adam So you don't know whether she uses a vibrator or not? Is that what you're saying?

29:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I'm sure she probably uses some tool or something, but isn't the good old finger just-

29:21 Adam Well, here's why we're asking. Yeah, because if she's using a vibrator, and obviously the guy does not show up armed with a vibrator, then you got a little problem.

29:32 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Oh, she's used to a certain way to get off.

29:36 Drew Well, or it desensitizes or that's just what she needs.

29:40 Adam Well, we do talk to a lot of women though, who do masturbate in the bathtub by letting the water run on them, or who use a vibrator or what have you, and then they get with a guy and obviously, the guy cannot compete with 30,000 gallons an hour coming through a train.

29:56 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Of water pressure.

29:57 Adam Right.

29:57 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Forget about it.

29:58 Adam Right.

29:59 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer So doesn't she have to more or less guide her partner to the-

30:04 Drew Yes.

30:05 Adam To the tub or to the drawer or whatever it is, or she should start weaning herself off of whatever technology she's using to have the orgasm.

30:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right, less me, more you.

30:15 Adam Right. All right. Where is she? You want me to talk to her?

30:20 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer She's-

30:20 Adam Is she attractive?

30:22 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah, she's great. She's wonderful.

30:24 Adam She's listening?

30:26 I think she is.

30:27 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer So hello out there to you.

30:30 Adam Shannon?

30:31 Yeah.

30:31 Adam You're 23. What's up?

30:34 Caller I'm on Selexa for depression.

30:36 Adam Yeah.

30:36 Caller And ever since I've been on it, I have no sex drive whatsoever.

30:39 Drew That's the most common problem or side effect with the serotonin reuptake inhibitor.

30:44 Caller And well, my question is...

30:46 Drew Selexa, Zola, Paxil, Prozac, they all do that.

30:49 Caller Yeah. I heard you talk to me the other night about how there's some that don't do that.

30:51 Drew Serosone, Remron, Wilbutrin.

30:54 Caller Okay. Well, my question is, what happens... I have a sexual rendezvous coming up and I have no sex drive and that's pretty depressing to me. What would happen if I stopped taking it for like a week and then went back on it?

31:06 Drew Why don't you talk to your doctor about this side effect you're having that you shouldn't be having? Solexo is a relatively weak antidepressant.

31:15 Adam What's going on with the sexual rendezvous coming up?

31:18 Caller I have a sexual rendezvous. Isn't that a good thing?

31:21 Adam I guess. Yeah. How does that work? Internet? Charlie Sheen rolling into tune? How does it go?

31:27 Caller No. It means you meet a person and then you say, we're going to meet up here and have sex.

31:33 Adam We do?

31:33 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Rendezvous, man. You've been off the market too long, Adam.

31:36 Adam No kidding. Where did you meet this person?

31:40 Caller In Vegas.

31:42 Adam You live where?

31:43 Caller Los Angeles.

31:44 Adam Where do they live?

31:45 Caller New York.

31:46 Drew Why don't you have the rendezvous?

31:48 Adam Why don't you just get it on in Vegas?

31:50 Caller Because I'm not that kind of girl.

31:53 Adam Did you have a rendezvous in Vegas?

31:55 Caller I had to make him wait a little bit, right?

31:57 Adam You did?

31:57 Caller Yeah.

31:58 Adam So you met it? Well, sure, you're so stuffed full of that Selexer, you're not horny. You just want to go gamble.

32:04 Caller I know, but see, I've only been on a Selexer for a couple of weeks.

32:07 Adam When did you meet the guy in Vegas?

32:08 Caller Like, six weeks ago.

32:10 Adam All right. So you met him in Vegas, you spent a couple of days with him, you had a nice time.

32:14 Caller Yeah.

32:15 Adam And how do you know it's a sexual rendezvous? Shouldn't you be calling it something else?

32:18 Caller No, that's what it is.

32:20 Adam I know, but I thought you're supposed to call it something else.

32:22 Caller Why?

32:23 Drew That's your job.

32:23 Adam I don't know.

32:24 Drew If she actually calls it what it is, it's funny.

32:26 Caller I'm okay with that.

32:28 Adam Where do you guys meet in Nebraska or something?

32:31 Caller No, just somewhere to have a good time.

32:34 Adam Is he coming out to LA?

32:35 Caller No.

32:36 Adam You're going out to New York?

32:37 Caller No, we're meeting someplace else.

32:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Chicago.

32:40 Adam Hey, listen, Lardo, you're making me sick. I'm tired of talking to you. Where are you meeting?

32:46 Caller San Francisco.

32:47 Adam All right, there you go.

32:49 Caller So is that a bad idea, Drew, to take a...

32:52 Drew It's a bad idea to screw around with your medications, talk to the doctor, they can add Will Butrin, sometimes that takes care of it, maybe switch over to one of the other ones.

32:59 Caller Okay.

33:00 Drew It's a relatively... it's actually very short at the antidepressants, so it's out of your system very quickly, but don't do anything on your own. There's a reason you were put on the medication.

33:09 Caller Yeah.

33:10 Drew Depression kills 15% of people of the 20 million every year that get it.

33:14 Adam Well, they kill themselves to be more succinct. All right there, Shannon. Thank you. Have fun getting it on in Frisco. Thank you. All right.

33:21 Bye.

33:22 Wow, sexual rendezvous.

33:24 Adam Jill?

33:25 Yes.

33:26 Adam You're 26. What's up?

33:27 I'm 26, actually. Dr. Drew, I have a question.

33:34 Adam Uh-oh. Are you high?

33:36 I still want Adam's body.

33:38 Adam You do? What do you want to do with it?

33:40 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer With Dr. Drew's head?

33:42 Drew Drawing quarter.

33:43 Adam Yeah, when people say they want my body, I think they mean my corpse, right?

33:47 It's so awesome. Everything's just fine. I'm having a problem, though. I need both of these guys' advice. I actually didn't even think I'd get through, but my cousin Jonathan helped me.

33:57 Adam Hey, Jill?

33:58 Yeah?

33:59 Adam Are you drunk?

33:59 Drew Oh, yeah.

34:00 Am I drunk? Yeah. I don't drink.

34:02 Drew When you're high.

34:04 No, I don't do anything.

34:04 Adam Yeah, it's not pot.

34:05 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Before 10 in the morning.

34:06 Adam Heroin?

34:07 Oh, that's gross. No, that's belittling.

34:11 Adam What are you on?

34:12 I'm not on anything.

34:13 Adam You're just like this all the time?

34:15 No, actually, I'm a little depressed because it's Valentine's Day, and I just moved from Moab. I live in Salt Lake, Utah, and I just moved back here from Moab. Everybody wants me. I've had four people in the last two months asking me to marry him, and nobody is around. I think they're using me. I even made dinner and everything. I had four dates going on tonight and none of them showed up.

34:45 Adam What a surprise.

34:46 Well, one of the guy that asked me to marry him, his brakes went out and he decided to go back home, which I don't know what he's tripping on.

34:53 Adam Well, it's what happens. A man's brakes go out and you coast home.

34:57 No, I'm glad that it was OK, but I was disappointed. And then in the process, my other lover guy calls and he doesn't want to come over.

35:11 Adam His clutch went out?

35:12 Huh?

35:13 Adam OK. Hey, Jill?

35:15 Yes?

35:16 Adam Boy, I'll tell you, I'm closing my eyes. I'm not getting a pretty picture here.

35:20 No, things suck.

35:21 Adam Alright, you have all your teeth?

35:23 Oh, of course.

35:24 Adam You do? Where do you keep them?

35:26 In my mouth.

35:27 Adam They just roll around? Jill, what do you do? I'm picturing you, I'm picturing you next to a counter somewhere.

35:35 On a counter?

35:36 Adam Yeah.

35:36 Actually, I'm sitting in my living room. No, no, no.

35:38 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I think she's a dancer for work.

35:40 Adam No, I mean for a living.

35:41 Drew You're overweight.

35:43 Oh, I deal with customer service.

35:46 Adam Where at?

35:47 Huh?

35:48 Adam What kind of place?

35:49 Oh, do I have to tell you the name?

35:51 Adam Yeah. Just give us the type of business.

35:54 Well, kind of fast food, but not really.

35:57 Adam Medium, medium fast food?

35:59 It's good food. It's better than Subway.

36:01 Adam Right. It's a nice step up.

36:03 Yeah.

36:03 Adam Be like El Pollo Loco or something like a classy place?

36:07 No, everything's fine.

36:09 Adam Okay. All right, Jill, so your problem is you got a lot of guys after you.

36:13 Well, yeah. And I don't know what all of them want. They always want to ask me questions about what I expect out of them. It's like, I'm not expecting nothing, man. Just be cool.

36:22 Adam All right. Jill, you don't have any kids, do you?

36:26 I don't have any children. I've never been married.

36:28 Adam Good. That's number one priority.

36:30 Well, my other priority I need to do is go to college.

36:33 Adam That's right.

36:34 I work too much.

36:36 Adam Go to college, don't have any kids.

36:38 Well, I used to teach also, and I don't know now. I'm thinking maybe I'm too old to go to college.

36:46 Adam What did you teach?

36:48 Actually, kindergarten.

36:49 Adam Wow.

36:50 And first, then I would substitute for the other teachers, so like second grade to seventh grade. All right.

36:55 Adam You get back in college, Jill, and don't you worry about the boys. It'll work its way out.

37:00 You think, you know, everybody says, you know, if you're not.

37:03 Adam All right.

37:04 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That was one of those calls. One plus one didn't equal two.

37:09 Drew Right. If she wasn't loaded, she was like a head injury patient.

37:12 Adam Maybe you ought to give her that choice.

37:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Hey, you know, you guys, I've been listening.

37:15 Drew Yeah.

37:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And you've been doing a lot of batting, a lot of wagering lately.

37:20 Adam Well, we did some gambling a week ago, I think. You want to do some gambling?

37:23 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I brought my money. Yeah, I brought my money.

37:25 Adam You did? All right. Let's see if we can do some gambling on one of these calls. Jessica.

37:29 Caller Yeah.

37:30 Adam You're 14.

37:30 Caller Yeah.

37:31 Adam We got that.

37:32 Caller My friend was shot in the head a couple months ago and he died.

37:36 Adam And lately, perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

37:39 Drew How was he shot?

37:40 Caller What happened? I don't know. They haven't told us anything. But I think he got to fight and a guy pulled a gun.

37:47 Adam What do you mean? How come they don't tell you anything?

37:50 Caller Because we don't... I don't know.

37:53 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Just under investigation?

37:55 Caller Yeah.

37:56 Adam Well, where was it?

37:57 Caller It was in... I don't know. It was by some apartments.

38:00 Okay. All right.

38:01 Adam You guys pretty tight?

38:03 Caller I knew him for a couple of months in September. But I like went everywhere with him. So I didn't really know him that well. But there's been a continuation of bad things that have been happening.

38:14 Drew Hold on a second.

38:15 Adam Hold on one second. It's like my friend got shot. What happened?

38:19 Drew I don't know.

38:19 Adam Where was it?

38:20 Drew I don't know. By some apartments.

38:22 Adam It was by an apartment. First of all, everything's by an apartment.

38:24 Drew How well do you know this guy?

38:26 Adam We're not that well. Except for we went everywhere together. Okay. She paints a very vivid picture. Jessica?

38:32 Caller Yeah?

38:33 Adam You went everywhere together?

38:34 Caller Well, he would walk me to places and stuff.

38:37 Drew But you didn't know him?

38:39 Caller No, I know. We were friends, but it was just weird.

38:43 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Same school?

38:44 Caller Yeah.

38:45 Drew Why would he walk you everywhere?

38:47 Caller I don't know. We were really good friends.

38:49 Adam You were really good friends?

38:51 Caller Well, I didn't really know him like best friends. I just knew him since...

38:55 Oh my God.

38:56 Adam Do you see what's going on in this country? Do you see what's happening in our educational system? I mean, I'm stupid, but I can talk. I know what people are asking me. I understand when I'm not making sense. I mean, even when I'm drunk and on a plane, I understand when I'm not making sense. Okay, maybe you're right. Jessica?

39:14 Caller Yeah?

39:16 Adam We're still trying to get to the part where you have a relationship with this guy and we can't figure out what it was.

39:21 Drew What the nature of this is.

39:23 Adam He walked you everywhere, you were great friends, but you weren't very good friends, and you didn't exactly know what he was doing.

39:29 Drew But you went everywhere, but you have no idea who he is.

39:31 Caller No, I knew everything about him. It's just that he was only a couple of months.

39:36 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay, so you really like this guy. A, it's kind of our heart goes out to you, and B, isn't this the point where you say, what's the question?

39:44 Adam Yes, what's the question?

39:46 Caller Oh, how do I deal with my anger about self-mutilating myself?

39:51 Adam Did you start after he was shot?

39:53 Caller No. See, I did it in eighth grade. I was self-mutilating myself.

39:58 Adam All right. Hold on, Jessica.

40:00 Caller Okay.

40:00 Adam We're going for the wallets. All right.

40:03 Caller Perfect.

40:04 Adam Jessica, we're gambling. Okay. All right. No sooner does Andy Lauer ask about wanting to gamble.

40:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Boom, you show up.

40:12 Adam Then we go for the wallet. All right, Jessica. Hang on a second.

40:17 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Just a minute.

40:18 Adam I don't mean to be so tough on you. I know you've suffered a tragic-

40:21 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And preface, you know, really sorry about your friend.

40:23 Adam Yeah, we are.

40:25 Caller Okay.

40:25 Adam It's just we're not exactly sure how good of friends you were, and that's why we're not as sympathetic as we could be.

40:30 Caller Okay.

40:31 Adam But hang on. All right. So your friend was shot in the head and killed. How old was your friend?

40:35 Caller Sixteen.

40:36 Adam Sixteen. And it was out in front of some apartments. You're self-mutilating, but you have been self-mutilating for quite some time.

40:42 Caller Yeah.

40:43 Adam But you're doing it more now after your friend was shot.

40:45 Caller Yeah.

40:46 Adam Okay. Hang on a second. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. We're going to do a little gambling when we come back.

40:56 Caller Loveline will be right back.

41:28 Adam Yes, it is Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. We know him from Carolina in the City all those years, and now Gunshy in a nice big fat feature length film.

41:45 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And Happy Valentine's Day to my love Melissa.

41:48 Adam And all the other lovers listening out there in Radio Land. When we left off, we're talking about gambling on Jessica. Jessica is 14. She has herself a 16 year old friend who was shot and killed tragically. And the reason we don't sound as sympathetic as we could is because we couldn't really figure out her relationship with the person.

42:09 Drew We couldn't really establish a relationship.

42:12 Adam They knew each other well over the last few months, and they walked around everywhere. But she didn't know where he was shot, or who shot him, or what happened. And she couldn't quite, wasn't her boyfriend, and she couldn't quite give us too many details on that. But that aside, she mutilates on herself, and she's been doing it since the 8th grade. She's got that little girl voice, she's 14 years old. Let's let the gambling begin. Now, we've done no thinking about this during the break, or at least I haven't.

42:41 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's true.

42:42 Adam But we'll talk about anything but this show during the break. As a matter of fact...

42:46 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Keep it fresh.

42:47 Adam I sometimes lament the fact that we have to actually talk about the show during the show. I wish we could just keep those conversations going.

42:53 Drew Want to go back to the F4?

42:54 Adam I can complain about my garbage man showing up at 6.45 in the morning, or United Airlines.

42:59 Drew That is basically what we do during the show.

43:01 Adam That's true.

43:01 Drew All right.

43:01 Adam So, Andy, you wanted to gamble, you go first. What is up with Jessica's past? As you know, when we gamble on this show, we gamble on people's past. What kind of family did they come from? What is their history?

43:15 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay. Here, first of all, I think she knows more than what she's letting up to know about this guy's killer.

43:23 Drew All right.

43:24 Adam Fine, but that's not going to get you a dollar.

43:25 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That's not going to get the bond.

43:26 Adam No way. This is the past.

43:28 Drew What is her family history that created Jessica as we know her today?

43:33 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Okay. I don't think there was a lot. I think she was abused, not sexually, but physically. I think that she's from a divorced family.

43:47 Adam What?

43:47 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That she's living with her mom.

43:49 Adam Everyone's divorced with their mom, but that's solid.

43:52 Drew Physical abuse by maybe their dad.

43:53 Adam Physical abuse by dad?

43:55 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Physical abuse by dad and then transferred on to mom when dad left.

44:00 Drew Mom just kept doing it.

44:01 Adam Wow.

44:02 Drew That's good.

44:02 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer So that's like, that's kind of four to one odds.

44:05 Adam I'll give you another dollar out of my wallet if all of that went down that way and another slice of that beautiful apple pie. All right, Drew, go ahead.

44:13 Drew On me?

44:14 Adam Well, you want me to go?

44:14 Drew Yeah.

44:16 Adam Got the little girl voice, 14. I don't know what the connection of self-mutilation, but I'm going with physical violence too usually because it's a way of taking control over yourself in the little girl voice, but I'm going with some physical abuse and a little sexual abuse.

44:34 Drew What age? Because I'm going for both, too.

44:36 Adam I'm going sexual abuse five.

44:38 Caller Okay.

44:39 Adam Five and a half.

44:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You're going for both?

44:40 Drew Yeah.

44:41 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer The odds go down there. That's like two and a half.

44:42 Adam I'm going sexual abuse and physical abuse.

44:45 Drew I'm going heroin addicted or addicted dad, physically abusive, sexual abuse at eight, not dad.

44:50 Adam Not dad. Neighbor or uncle?

44:52 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And divorce. You're both saying that divorce, that's a gift.

44:54 Adam Neighbor or uncle?

44:56 Drew Just because of the chaos in the home, somebody.

44:58 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer And what about her knowing more than?

45:01 Adam All right. Well, there's always some substance abuse in a family like this.

45:06 Drew I'm picking eight.

45:07 Adam Okay. All right. Jessica?

45:09 Caller Yeah.

45:10 Adam Okay. Let's talk about your past.

45:12 Caller Okay.

45:13 Adam Where's your dad?

45:15 Caller My dad doesn't live that far away.

45:17 Adam Okay. When did your parents break up?

45:19 Caller When I was like five.

45:21 Adam Five.

45:22 Caller Good.

45:23 Adam Did he? Did he beat on you at all?

45:26 Caller Oh, no.

45:26 Adam Oh, come on. You sure?

45:28 Caller Yeah.

45:29 Adam Oh, the humanity. I hate it when I gamble on a parent that doesn't beat their child.

45:34 Drew Your parents never ever struck you or hit you or anything?

45:37 Caller Oh, no.

45:37 Drew Never.

45:37 Adam Okay. I believe that. And any sexual abuse?

45:41 Caller Yeah. I think so when I was really little.

45:44 Adam About five?

45:45 Caller It was by a babysitter.

45:46 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Oh, the old babysitter.

45:48 Adam Oh, I got sexual abuse so far. How old were you with the babysitter?

45:52 Caller I was four.

45:54 Adam Four or five?

45:55 Caller Yeah.

45:56 Caller Nice memory.

45:58 Adam I'm just trying to get it up to five. This was done by a babysitter? Yeah. And it was a friend of the family or something?

46:08 Caller Yeah.

46:09 Adam It was?

46:09 Caller Yeah.

46:10 Adam And did you ever tell anybody?

46:12 Caller No.

46:12 Drew How long did it go on for?

46:14 Caller Until I was six. And then I got a new babysitter.

46:17 Adam And that was a better babysitter?

46:20 Caller Yeah.

46:20 Adam And...

46:21 Drew Were you victimized again later on?

46:23 Caller No.

46:23 Drew Never again?

46:24 Caller No.

46:25 Adam Nothing, no boyfriends, you're a virgin?

46:27 Caller Yeah.

46:27 Drew Except for the sexual abuse.

46:30 Adam Well, we don't know what went on there. But hey, this was a man?

46:35 Caller It was a boy.

46:37 Adam Yeah, like...

46:37 Caller He was a teenager.

46:39 Adam Uh-huh. When you were five, four or five, something like that. Okay, and then your parents got divorced when you were four or five?

46:45 Caller Yeah.

46:46 Adam And what's your dad do for a living?

46:49 Caller He works in an office. I'm not really sure on that.

46:52 Adam He works inside though?

46:54 Caller Yeah.

46:54 Adam He has a light over his head and carpet on his feet?

46:57 Caller Yeah.

46:57 Drew You don't know what your dad does?

46:59 Caller No, I don't really pay attention to what they do.

47:01 Adam I understand.

47:03 Drew What?

47:04 Adam You... Like if someone said to you, is your dad an insurance salesman or is he a manager? You wouldn't know which one he was, like you wouldn't have any idea?

47:16 Caller Probably most likely the manager one.

47:19 Adam You put your money on the manager?

47:20 Caller Yeah.

47:21 Drew Any drug or alcohol use in your family?

47:23 Caller What?

47:23 Drew Any drug or alcohol use in your family?

47:24 Caller No.

47:25 Adam I think my dad's an astronaut. I heard him tell me, he said astronaut or pilot, but a pilot, astronaut or pirate, he talked about once too, but I'm not sure.

47:36 Caller My parents are really good friends though.

47:38 Drew Uh-huh.

47:39 Adam You think your mom knows what your dad does?

47:41 Drew Yeah.

47:42 Adam Okay. You ought to ask her one day. Be curious, you know? Yeah. You know what I like about this Jessica, she don't sweat the details. My friend got shot. Where? I don't know. What happened? We guys good friends?

47:56 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Can we double or nothing if she can't say if she knows?

48:00 Drew All right.

48:00 Adam So no, no, no.

48:01 Drew That's not what we bet on. We bet on what makes the personality characteristics.

48:04 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I specifically said can we double or nothing.

48:06 Adam All right. But listen.

48:06 Drew That's not what we bet on. We don't bet on what makes the personality characteristics.

48:11 Adam So, Jessica, you got sexually abused when you're about five years old.

48:16 Caller Yeah.

48:16 Adam And now you mutilate.

48:18 Caller Yeah.

48:18 Adam So you got to go therapy for that, right?

48:20 Drew Get some treatment. Okay.

48:21 Adam You got to work on that.

48:23 Drew What's up with your friend? We don't know. And I'm sorry. But any kind of stress is going to cause you to start acting out with those old dysfunction ways. That's all your brain has at its disposal to manage overwhelming affect.

48:35 Adam Right.

48:35 Drew Okay. It's almost like these sexual experiences. I've been thinking a lot of time in airports and planes to think about these things lately.

48:42 Adam Okay.

48:42 Drew And there's two things I was thinking. One was that they're so overwhelming that they tend to sort of almost overload the brain's capacity to handle unpleasant feelings. Like the stress systems become sort of burned out.

48:54 Adam Right.

48:55 Drew So any time a stressful circumstance comes up, they don't have the usual internal strategies. No regulatory systems. You've got to find something to do it. The other thing, it tends to wall off a piece of the self as bad. That's that bad part of me that got abused. And the only way that they can ever get in touch with that bad part again is by sort of reenacting. They're all sort of split off from that bad part of the wise.

49:15 Adam She did sound kind of split off.

49:17 Drew Oh, yeah.

49:18 Adam All right. But I get the three bucks because I went with the sexual abuse around five. Right?

49:23 Drew Yep.

49:24 Adam Yeah. All right, boys. Hi, Andy. Don't worry. You'll be back in another year. You can gamble again. Andy Lauer is our guest. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

49:34 Let's have some more fun.

49:36 Adam Okay. Um, Adam Carolla, this is Dr. Drew, and Andy Lahr is our guest tonight. We're going to take a quick ten second timeout. We'll be back with more of The Fabulous Show in just ten seconds.

50:23 Caller This is Love Live on Radio Station.

50:28 Adam What am I doing? It's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Drew. Our good friend David Allen Grier will be in here tomorrow night. Always a handful that David Allen. A little too smart for his own good. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. He's here talking about Gunshy. That has Sandra Bullock and Liam Neeson in it. And also, who's the good actor that I'm trying to think of? Oliver Platt. There we go. And that is currently out. You can find all those folks as well as Andy in this movie.

51:08 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer His good friends call him Ale.

51:10 Adam Ale. And also, he's got himself a short film. But where would we see this short?

51:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer This is at film festivals. As a matter of fact, on February 17th at Raleigh Studios. It's in Los Angeles, Angel City Film Festival at 8 p.m. And they'll run a handful of these, right? They will. They will. It is indeed an entertaining eve.

51:34 Adam Where's that Raleigh Studios? Are we at the Raleigh? Where the hell is it?

51:37 Drew Near Paramount.

51:38 Adam Bronson.

51:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right. Right.

51:40 Adam All right. Steve?

51:42 Yeah.

51:43 Adam You're 17.

51:43 Caller Yeah.

51:44 Adam What's up?

51:45 I can orgasm when I masturbate, but I can't do it when I'm having sex with my girlfriend.

51:49 Drew Are you nervous when you're with your girlfriend?

51:51 Caller Well, the first time I kind of was, and then nothing happened.

51:55 I don't know. She started getting sore and everything, so I just stopped. And then, I don't know, I tried to stop masturbating, so I would like look forward to it more, you know?

52:04 Drew Right.

52:05 Or be more sensitive or whatever.

52:06 Drew Yes, yes.

52:07 And it didn't work.

52:08 Drew So you've only tried it twice with her?

52:10 Caller No, three times.

52:12 Drew You relax.

52:12 Adam You know, work it out.

52:13 Drew Relax. Just relax. It's, I'm sure, anxiety that's keeping you from having this.

52:19 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Do you ever suggest to someone, have a glass of wine before sex?

52:21 Drew Adam does all the time.

52:23 Adam Yeah. And a quail egg. Oh, that's for them, actually, so I can have sex. That's how I can perform it, so they can hold still so I can perform.

52:30 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer But then, are you not advocating alcoholism or?

52:34 Drew I didn't say it.

52:35 Adam You just said it, Andy.

52:36 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I didn't say it.

52:38 Adam Hey, Steve.

52:39 Drew Yeah.

52:40 Adam Here's the thing, you've been going at yourself pretty steady for, what, three, four years now?

52:44 Drew Yeah.

52:45 Adam Yeah, so you're kind of used to your own grip. And now you're with a woman and it's a little confusing, something a little different. But that's all right, you'll work it out.

52:55 Caller Well, should I, like, I don't know, try and...

52:58 Adam Now, you know, here's the whole problem, Steve. More thinking equals less semen. You understand?

53:05 Caller Yeah.

53:06 Adam You're freaking yourself out. You're devising strategies. You don't, just shut up. You don't need to.

53:11 Drew Just relax. Relax.

53:13 Adam This is your first girlfriend, right?

53:15 Drew No.

53:15 Adam You've had other girlfriends.

53:16 Yeah.

53:16 Drew Any problem with the others?

53:18 Same thing.

53:18 Caller Well, it only happened once with them and, yeah.

53:22 Adam You take it slow, you don't freak yourself out.

53:24 Should I talk to her about it at all?

53:26 Yeah.

53:27 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Open the floodgates of communication.

53:29 Adam Absolutely. We talk about this periodically, but it's worth bringing up again. Guys and girls. I don't know why I think guys more. I think there's more to work out. I mean, girls have to work stuff out emotionally, sexually. Guys need to work things out physically, mechanically, sexually, and all guys, and I guess all girls too, have that one person that's their break-in person. We can all look back and think on that person that you had a few dates, a few one-night stands, a few hits, a few misses, and then somehow, somewhere between, you know, 16 and 21, you get hooked up with that one person, you try every position, you drip a little wax, you work it all out, and from that person on, you're okay. You've got it all worked out. You know, all the mechanics are down, you know, you've done every position, you know exactly how everything works, you know what does work, what doesn't work. That is your break-in person. You get that person, and everything else is, your confidence is there after that. And that's what young Steve has to do. And this could be the person.

54:37 Caller All right.

54:38 Adam I found that person when I was 32. It was my mom. Katie?

54:43 Caller Hi.

54:43 Adam You're 14.

54:44 Caller Yep.

54:45 Adam What's up?

54:46 Caller I've been smoking good for about a year, and I've been, lately, after I smoke, I have, like, these breathing problems, and my throat's been hurting lately.

54:57 Drew You'll get, you can get an emphysema from this. Not at your age, but you might be getting some of the airway damage. It's sort of a chronic bronchitis, basically.

55:05 Adam Well, you've got to smoke more and kind of break on through.

55:08 Caller Yeah. No.

55:09 Drew You're starting to hurt yourself from the drive.

55:10 Caller Yeah. I mean, the phone screener said that it might be emphysema, like where it hurts in my throat.

55:15 Drew No. What hurts your throat is just some sort of chronic irritation. Maybe you're getting a viral infection, but the funny breathing and all that is the chronic bronchitis. You don't get emphysema in a year. It takes years and years, but you can get chronic bronchitis pretty quickly.

55:27 Caller And it can't happen, like, at this young, right, this age.

55:31 Drew It's one of those nights, huh?

55:32 Adam Hey, Stoner? That's the big problem. It's not really the breathing. It's more the listening. You understand? Drew's been telling you what's been going on for five minutes, and you haven't listened to it.

55:45 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Nothing happened. Nothing went in. Exactly.

55:49 Adam You're 14 years old. You're too young. Stop smoking the weed.

55:53 Caller I don't smoke that often.

55:54 Adam How often?

55:56 Caller Twice a month, three times a month.

55:59 Adam Three times a month?

56:00 Caller Yeah.

56:00 Drew Didn't you say you were smoking a lot of weed lately?

56:03 Caller I've just been feeling it lately, the breathing problems.

56:06 Drew Well, maybe you just have asthma, and the pot's just making that worse.

56:11 Caller I've had asthma tests at the doctor's office.

56:13 Adam What'd they say?

56:14 Caller They said I didn't have it.

56:16 Drew You know what?

56:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I had that, and then I couldn't breathe from my nose, and it just wasn't fun anymore. That's why I stopped smoking pot.

56:24 Adam Hey, Katie?

56:25 Caller Yeah?

56:25 Adam All right, so take it easy on your brain. You're 14.

56:29 Caller Okay.

56:29 Adam All right, start eating brownies.

56:32 Drew Now, the one thing they did show was that in males under the age of 15, you actually get right front of the lobe shrinkage over a year of marijuana exposure.

56:39 Adam Well, who needs all that weight in your head if you think about it? You know what I mean? I think those kids have an advantage, which replace it with a little fluid. That's right. I don't like a little fluid in there. Lee?

56:52 Hey, how's it going, fellas? Good. I've got a question real quick. My girlfriend's discharge had been like looking like milk and chocolate. What's up with that? Yikes.

57:06 Adam You add a little marshmallow sauce to that, and you got yourself a sundae. Yeah, you guys just lay the graham cracker down on top of the comforter and go to town. You got s'mores.

57:15 Hey, sounds like a plan, but I don't know, man.

57:19 Adam All right. Drew, what is that?

57:20 Drew The dark stuff is usually blood.

57:22 Yeah, but she's been off her period for like three, four days now.

57:26 Drew No, that's okay.

57:27 It's still cool?

57:28 Drew Well, the dark stuff is blood, but whether or not there's something else going on, there's no way I can tell. Even a yeast infection can do this. Sometimes other sources of vaginitis, which can be infection, or even chlamydia can do this. So it's tasty. How old is she?

57:42 16.

57:44 Adam You're 19? That's a big three years there.

57:48 Caller Come on now, it's barely any.

57:49 Drew No, come on.

57:50 Adam You know, it's 26 and 23 is barely any.

57:53 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Are you hung, dude? She's probably bleeding internally.

57:56 Caller No.

57:57 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer No way?

57:57 Adam Oh, please.

57:58 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I don't know. It's been a while.

57:59 Adam Lee, you should be in your second year of college. If you were going to college. And she's like in the 10th or 11th grade, right?

58:09 Caller Uh, senior.

58:10 Adam Senior?

58:11 Drew Yup.

58:12 Adam Is she 16?

58:13 Drew Yup.

58:13 Caller She's about to turn 17 real quick.

58:16 Adam All right.

58:16 Drew No, no, no. Don't let kids skip grades.

58:18 Adam No. And what are you doing?

58:20 Caller Me?

58:21 Adam Yeah.

58:21 Caller Oh, I work. I don't go to school.

58:23 Adam Where do you work?

58:24 Caller I work for a paint store.

58:26 Adam All right. All right. So it's looking pretty bright, that future.

58:30 Drew She needs to be seen and examined, get cultures done, have regular pap smears, do all the things that she should be doing for her reproductive health now that she's a sexually active adult.

58:39 Caller Yeah, she's on the pill. Would that have any...

58:42 Drew Yep. That can all affect it.

58:44 Caller Could it? That's probably what it is.

58:46 Drew Hey, Lee, don't assume. I don't know how many times I can state this. She's got to go in and get it looked at just to be sure, okay?

58:52 Okay. All right.

58:53 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer A little issue of underage sex.

58:56 Adam All right, Lee.

58:57 Drew In actually most states, it's okay. Within three years, as long as it's within three years of California, that would have been okay.

59:05 Adam It would have? Yeah. Really? 19 and 16?

59:08 Drew Within three years.

59:08 Adam Yeah, but not if one is over 18 and the other is under 18. I thought that was a stipulation.

59:13 Drew No, I think you...

59:14 Adam Are you sure?

59:15 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Are you sure? Because we grew up here in California.

59:18 Drew They changed a lot a year and a half ago.

59:19 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Oh, man. Really? Because I think a buddy of mine did time for that.

59:23 Drew It used to be 18, absolute. But then they made it within three years of that age.

59:28 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That's a new one. I did not know that.

59:29 Adam I'm not so sure Drew was right about that.

59:32 Drew Where is our board that has all that stuff on it?

59:34 Adam Connie?

59:35 Caller Back there? Yes.

59:36 Adam Connie, you're 24.

59:37 Caller What's up?

59:38 Caller Yeah, I was wondering what I could do about this problem I've been having for three years. My tongue and my palate and my uvula and all the surrounding areas of my throat keep twitching. I've been back and forth to the doctors and they don't know what to do about it.

59:52 Adam Maybe your head's moving.

59:53 Drew Is it twitching, like sort of clicking in the back, like something you could do voluntarily?

59:57 Caller It's like a pulse. It's fine.

1:00:01 Drew Or is it fluttering?

1:00:02 Caller Yeah, it's fluttering.

1:00:05 Drew If you look at your palate, it looks like it's flapping.

1:00:07 Caller Yes, it does. I look in the mirror and the tongue looks like somebody's poking it, but it's doing it by itself. It's been going on for three years.

1:00:15 Drew You never did drugs?

1:00:16 Caller No, never ever.

1:00:18 Drew Did you ever have any head injuries?

1:00:19 Caller When I was 18, I was running down the stairs and I didn't know that somebody had mopped the floor and I had slipped and hit the back of my head. Did you ever say that's highly unlikely because it happened so long ago?

1:00:32 Drew The only time I've ever seen this.

1:00:33 Adam You got a boyfriend?

1:00:34 Caller No, not right now.

1:00:35 Adam Wow, what a waste. That oscillating uvula back there in that sliding pallet, it's like a plate and they're sliding all over the place.

1:00:45 Caller It gives you the gag sensation like you're going to gag, like you're gagging, it's constantly twitching.

1:00:50 Adam I take the gag as a compliment.

1:00:52 Drew Do you have any other symptoms at all? Any other neurologic problems at all?

1:00:57 Caller Just those things that I mentioned.

1:01:00 Drew Your thinking is clear, your moods are good.

1:01:02 Caller Right. But this kind of puts me in a bad mood, gives me mood swings. When I get stressed out, it progresses. I had an MRI and they said everything came back normal. So they don't know what to tell me. My chiropractor said...

1:01:14 Adam Hold on one sec. She sounds a little wacky. She's getting a little wacky from her. She's checking everything out.

1:01:21 Drew Let's see, let me talk to her.

1:01:23 Adam I'm getting a little wack vibe.

1:01:24 Drew She's calling Reid, our show, what do you expect? Connie? So you saw a neurologist?

1:01:31 Caller Yeah, I saw a neurologist.

1:01:32 Drew And they didn't have a name for it?

1:01:34 Caller No, they didn't.

1:01:35 Adam And what did your chiropractor say?

1:01:37 Caller The chiropractor gave me an x-ray and told me that I had subluxation of the spine and every bone in my spine is pinching a nerve which controls that part of the throat.

1:01:49 Drew No, that's...

1:01:50 Caller My doctor doesn't believe it.

1:01:52 Adam Connie, hold on. Let me tell you something about chiropractors.

1:01:55 Caller Okay.

1:01:56 Adam First off, chiropractor is a lot like places that do break inspections, free break inspections. You want to know why it's free? Because they're going to find something wrong with the car. You can buy a new car on one side of the street, never driven a mile in its life, drive it across the street for a new break inspection, and I gotta tell you, you probably need to turn the rotors and put some new pads in these things. This is what chiropractors do. I'm telling you, these guys are quack. They don't do anything. Let me tell you, there's nothing, a good, save all your money, get a nice rub down and a little therapy. That's what will take the place of chiropractic. These guys are not real doctors. They're all in great shape. Real doctors aren't in that kind of shape. You know why? They work. They have to go to school. They're working out and hanging out in a tan salon all day. These chiropractors are always like a muscle man, these guys. I always think to myself, where do you got all this time to work out? Then I think, you don't read. That's what it is. You go to the gym. You don't have to study. You don't go to those conferences. You don't meet with pharmaceutical manufacturers and play golf. You don't do any of that. You just work out and yank on people and tell them what's wrong with their back. Everyone has something wrong with their back.

1:03:10 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer They clear your sinus though.

1:03:11 Drew Well, here's the deal.

1:03:12 Adam You get a nice rub down, a nice and a happy release at the end of it. You know with the suds where the chick gets naked and rubs on you, like a James Bond film, that's better than any chiropractor.

1:03:24 Caller That's what my doctor was saying. She doesn't believe in that stuff.

1:03:27 Drew Connie, Connie, Connie. This is a sign of a very subtle dysfunction in the brain stem.

1:03:35 Caller That is the brain stem. Yeah.

1:03:37 Drew There are the midbrain area. There is no amount of pressures in the world. There are people that fall and nearly break their neck and bang that part of the brain. All kinds of things happen and nothing comes of it. But occasionally you can get a little bleeding into that area. What I have seen this is from tiny, tiny little strokes from IV drug use. That is the only time I have ever seen this particular phenomenon. That is why I knew. It literally looks like wings fluttering. It looks like this.

1:04:04 Caller Your palate? Your uvula?

1:04:07 Drew The soft palate.

1:04:10 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer So, anything she can do? That sounds kind of annoying, a twitching...

1:04:12 Drew No, probably anti-seizure medication, something like Neurontin might have some effect, but that is about it.

1:04:17 Caller Brett?

1:04:18 Drew Yeah?

1:04:19 Adam You are 18, what is up?

1:04:20 Caller What is up, Drew?

1:04:21 Drew Hey, Brett?

1:04:21 Caller Adam, tonight me and my girlfriend, we kind of got a little out of hand and had sex and I used a pull out method. She has been telling me for a couple of weeks that she is about to have her period and she is PMSing, actually a couple of days, I am sorry.

1:04:34 Drew By the way, I got out of hand.

1:04:37 Caller And I was wondering where the...

1:04:39 Drew Yeah, Brett, it got out of hand.

1:04:40 Adam Yeah, it snowballed.

1:04:42 Drew It was like a heat-seeking missile got out of hand.

1:04:44 Adam Alright, so what happened?

1:04:46 Caller What are the odds of her getting pregnant now?

1:04:49 Drew Well, it is at 3.4, yeah.

1:04:53 Adam About 37, 38 percent. Hold on, check, see which way the wind is blowing out there for us so we can really narrow this down.

1:05:00 Caller Drew, you need to help me out here.

1:05:01 Drew Brett, you need to have her take the morning after pill.

1:05:04 Caller Really?

1:05:05 Drew Absolutely.

1:05:06 Adam Let me explain the pullout method. You got to pull the car out of the garage and go get the morning after pill.

1:05:11 Drew That means tomorrow or now. Do you live in the state of Washington?

1:05:15 Caller No, California.

1:05:17 Drew Well, Planned Parenthood, her doctor.

1:05:21 Caller I know from health class that there's a certain time of the month that's perfect to have sex, right?

1:05:25 Drew Yeah, but you don't know when that is.

1:05:28 Caller Do you know when it is?

1:05:29 Drew No, you can't know when that is, basically. And you ain't, there's nothing about this time that you've described with her that makes this safe.

1:05:37 Caller Yeah.

1:05:37 Drew So go get the morning after pill. Really, why would you not do that, Brett? It will take the risk of pregnancy essentially away.

1:05:44 Caller Yeah, I know, but I use the pull-out method and I just.

1:05:47 Drew Brett?

1:05:48 Caller Yeah.

1:05:49 Drew She could get pregnant that way. There's a lot of sperm released without you knowing it before you ejaculate.

1:05:54 Caller That's true. I should do it.

1:05:56 Drew Get the morning after pill and then don't worry about it.

1:05:59 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Are you going to go, dude? You're not going to go.

1:06:01 Caller What?

1:06:01 Caller Are you going to go?

1:06:03 Caller Yeah, I'm going to go, I promise.

1:06:04 Adam Alright, and get her on the pill while you're checking into that.

1:06:08 Caller I'm not going to screw up my life.

1:06:09 Adam Good, and get her on the pill.

1:06:11 Caller Yeah.

1:06:12 Adam Okay?

1:06:13 Caller I'll try. Alright, thanks a lot, guys.

1:06:14 Adam Alright, Brett. That sounded fairly lucid. I know we talk about this once a week and I go nuts every time. I'm not going to go nuts this time, but I just want to know why can't we get this pill out there? Why can't we get this morning after pill out there? Why is it so scary? Why is it so dangerous? What is the controversy?

1:06:32 Drew Forget that even. Let's assume the controversy exists. Why do people that listen to this show, who I run into throughout the country, come up to me and say, So, you support that? Are you 46? I hear you talking about it all the time.

1:06:45 Adam I don't understand it at all.

1:06:46 Drew No, I don't support that at all.

1:06:49 Adam And that's not what we're talking about. This is not an abortion pill. I don't know how much more clear we can be on this topic. And I don't know why it's not a layup for the government or for the powers that be to get this pill out to everybody.

1:07:06 Drew By the way, there's a huge study about the use in Europe. There have been so far, think of any medications that fit this bill, zero cases of adverse events from Mersicont reception.

1:07:16 Adam Right.

1:07:17 Drew Zero.

1:07:20 Adam I don't. Here's what I'm interested in for this country. I want the evidence to be weighed, and then we proceed from there. I don't give a good rat's ass what your own particular political affiliations or religious affiliations are. I don't care about your personal feeling. That's between you, your husband, your wife, your church, and your kids. But when you're talking about government, you do what makes sense.

1:07:52 Drew That's it.

1:07:53 Adam Whatever's safe, whatever's effective, whatever makes sense, that's what you do. If handing out clean needles to junkies is going to stop the spread of AIDS, you give them the clean needle. If condoms, condoms prevent sex abuse, you give them the condoms. And if this morning after pill can stop abortions or unwanted pregnancies, then you make it legal.

1:08:15 Drew There is another piece, too. Abstinence training is looking like it's working.

1:08:19 Adam Really?

1:08:20 Drew That's going too far.

1:08:21 Caller Well, kind of. Yeah.

1:08:23 Drew No, that's true. The data on abstinence only program looks very good.

1:08:28 Adam Well, it'll put a dent in it. But how big a piece of the pie is this going to take?

1:08:33 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer If it's even 1%, it's enough.

1:08:35 Adam Well, the point is, well, here's my thing.

1:08:37 Drew Why can't we do both?

1:08:39 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Well, you do it all. You do a mixture of a cocktail.

1:08:42 Drew Yeah, why can't this cocktail exist?

1:08:43 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer The cocktail is preventive.

1:08:44 Drew Right. Absence of only training and common for the people that make other choices.

1:08:47 Adam Yeah, but I don't understand why something that is safe has to be prescribed this way. I mean, something that's safe and effective, why does it have to be prescribed? Why is it legal in Washington state without a prescription? And why do we need one here in California?

1:09:02 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Local autonomy.

1:09:04 Adam What is up with that?

1:09:04 Drew The state's right.

1:09:07 Adam And who voted on this? When was this vote?

1:09:09 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Washington voted to legalize it.

1:09:13 Adam When was our vote? Did we have a vote on it?

1:09:15 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You vote to move to Washington. Here's what you can do in Washington.

1:09:18 Drew In California, you can put up the referendums, the little things called where people sign a big petition.

1:09:24 Adam Oh, proposition.

1:09:25 Drew Proposition, yeah.

1:09:26 Adam Yeah, but then those don't work.

1:09:28 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer No, it's our government. That's how it works, man.

1:09:31 Adam No, but let me explain something. Ten years ago, there was a proposition to get auto insurance companies to give rebates and lower the rates, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Five years ago or whenever it was, there was an English-only proposition over here. That never came about. There's always a bunch of propositions that get passed and then they get held up in the Supreme Court. No one pays any attention to them. They never go into legislation. I mean, think about it. Where's my goddamn rebate from 1988 for my auto insurance? You got that check in the mail?

1:10:05 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer But this would seem more black and white. In Oregon, you can euthanize people. In Washington, you can...

1:10:12 Adam Good.

1:10:13 Drew Take the emergency contraception without a prescription.

1:10:15 Adam Tony.

1:10:15 Drew That's why...

1:10:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Move to the Pacific Northwest.

1:10:17 Drew That's why it's the greatest state in the Union.

1:10:19 Adam Yes. And now why we can't do that in a progressive California I'll never know.

1:10:23 Drew Why don't you, by the way, thank the For Him magazine people for bringing your pie, huh?

1:10:26 Adam HFS, FHM.

1:10:28 Drew FHM.

1:10:29 Adam FHM. I don't read, so I'm not a fan of it.

1:10:32 Drew You ate the pie.

1:10:33 Adam All right, thanks for bringing the pie, you guys. Well, they bring you the pie, so you talk about them on the radio. How's that work doing? All right, Tony? You act like they just dropped the pie off for no good reason. They bring you the pie, so you talk about them on the air.

1:10:48 Drew I'm embarrassed by brooding in here instead of talking to the people.

1:10:51 Adam I showed up late, I had to study for the show. I had to read up on Andy. Tony?

1:10:56 Yeah.

1:10:56 Adam All right, what's up?

1:10:58 I'm having fantasies about guys, I don't know if that means I'm gay.

1:11:01 Adam It helps. You sound a little gay.

1:11:04 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I'm already in a good inclination.

1:11:06 Adam You think you're gay?

1:11:08 Not really, because I actually like girls, but sometimes you just think about guys or picture guys naked or something.

1:11:14 Drew We'll see. It's a tough thing for young males often to sort of allow into their awareness, sort of fully embrace, because it's tough. It goes against what you sort of conceive for yourself. It really changes your whole self-concept and what life's going to be like. And God knows, in the society with young people the way they are, it can be dangerous and painful.

1:11:37 Adam And your parents might be able to freak down and all that stuff.

1:11:40 Right.

1:11:40 Drew But don't worry.

1:11:41 No, but the problem is, when I was younger, this guy, this boy I used to go hang out with, my brothers hang out with, like he messed with me and stuff. What'd he do? Like sexual stuff.

1:11:53 Adam How old were you?

1:11:54 About 10 or younger than that.

1:11:56 Drew How old was he? How old was he?

1:12:01 He's like five years older than me, like 15 probably at the time.

1:12:04 Drew Well certainly on this program at least, we hear a lot of that as some sort of inciting influence in all this, but it is what it is.

1:12:14 So does it have anything to do with being thinking this way?

1:12:17 Drew It has something to do with it, but it doesn't change what it is.

1:12:20 Adam No, but if you're sort of on the cusp and you're having some thoughts about it, this could be part of the reason you're having those thoughts. Anyway, slice it, you're having those thoughts, so don't beat yourself up. Just take it slow and see where it goes. All right. All right, Tony. Thanks a lot. Good luck to you there. Burns during sex. I want to talk to this guy here. Number one? Karen.

1:12:43 Drew You got to take a break though.

1:12:45 Adam Yeah, I see Anderson. Karen, you're 22.

1:12:48 Caller Hello.

1:12:49 Drew What's up?

1:12:50 Caller Okay. I was seeing a guy for about two years. He's 31 and I had ended the relationship with him a few months ago and a month after that he started seeing it. I said the lady was 16 but she might have just turned 17.

1:13:09 Drew That's a totally different situation.

1:13:11 Adam Yeah.

1:13:13 Caller So I was wondering why, my first question is do you think a 22 year old and a 31 year old is a healthy relationship?

1:13:20 Drew We're okay with that.

1:13:21 Caller That's okay?

1:13:22 Drew Yeah.

1:13:23 No.

1:13:24 Drew Yes.

1:13:24 No.

1:13:25 Drew No. We're okay with that.

1:13:27 Caller You're okay with that. How about a 31?

1:13:29 Adam Hold on a second. I'm going to do a little Loveline recreation here. First question, do you think a 21 year old, no, first question, do you think a 22 year old and a 31 year old is a healthy relationship?

1:13:43 Drew We think that can be okay.

1:13:44 Adam No. No.

1:13:45 Drew We think that's okay. No.

1:13:47 Caller No.

1:13:48 Caller No.

1:13:50 Caller Get out.

1:13:53 Drew Okay.

1:13:53 Adam We're going to take a little break. We'll find out what other questions Karen is going to answer for us.

1:13:59 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer She's in denial.

1:14:01 Adam No. Her ex is dating a 16 or 17 year old. She's pissed off about it and we'll talk to her more about that after this.

1:14:10 Caller Love Life with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:14:47 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. You know, from all the seasons on Caroline and the City, and now Gunshy, which has Liam Neeson and Sandra Bullock, and is out in theaters as we speak. And when we left off, we were talking to Karen. Karen is 22, broke up with her boyfriend.

1:15:07 Drew 31-year-old. Nope.

1:15:11 Adam Who's 31 and he began dating a 16 and or 17-year-old and now...

1:15:17 Drew No, if it were 17.

1:15:19 Adam Yeah, that's a totally different story. And her question is...

1:15:23 Drew Karen?

1:15:24 Caller There's a difference between 16 and 17?

1:15:26 Adam Nope, we're just kidding.

1:15:27 Caller Oh, okay, okay.

1:15:28 Adam No difference.

1:15:29 Caller Well, one of my questions was the first one. I don't know if I got it right. Is it all right for a 22-year-old to go out with a 31-year-old?

1:15:36 Adam Yes.

1:15:36 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer No.

1:15:38 Adam It is okay.

1:15:39 Drew It is okay.

1:15:40 Caller I believe yes.

1:15:41 Drew It's okay.

1:15:41 Adam We're going to make an exception for you.

1:15:43 Drew We're generally okay with that.

1:15:45 Adam All right.

1:15:45 Caller How about the 16 and 17?

1:15:48 Adam We prefer 14-15, but if you got to go 16-17, fine.

1:15:52 Drew We wouldn't even be happy about a 16-17 with a 19-year-old.

1:15:55 Caller Now, what possesses a guy to do something like that?

1:15:58 Adam Possession is the right term.

1:16:00 Drew What does he possess that makes him do that?

1:16:02 Caller The devil.

1:16:04 Adam Semen, testicles, a car. There's a whole bunch of factors here. All right? He's not a great guy, Karen.

1:16:12 Drew Bad guy.

1:16:13 Adam Okay?

1:16:14 Drew Yes.

1:16:14 Caller Do you think he's doing that out of revenge?

1:16:16 Drew No. But he's doing it because he can.

1:16:17 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Lust.

1:16:18 Adam He's an idiot. That's why he's doing it.

1:16:19 Drew He's an idiot and nobody's stopping him.

1:16:22 Caller Really?

1:16:22 Drew That is why.

1:16:23 Caller So he's not worth waiting for.

1:16:25 Drew No.

1:16:25 Adam He's proved that. Now, what's wrong with you, Karen, that you'd even think about waiting for him?

1:16:30 Caller No, because I was with him for two years and I really fell for him and everything. And I feel that.

1:16:37 Drew Just for Andy's sake.

1:16:39 Adam Karen, where's your dad?

1:16:40 Drew Yeah. How far away is he? How old were you when he left?

1:16:45 Caller Well, my parents' diversity left when I was, I think, 18, 17.

1:16:49 Adam That's it? He was around the whole time?

1:16:51 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That was my guess.

1:16:52 Adam Drinking and beating you?

1:16:53 Caller Yeah.

1:16:55 Adam Well, there you go.

1:16:55 Caller That's the deal.

1:16:56 Adam Two choices. Either dad left when you were four or five or he hung around, which is even worse.

1:17:01 Caller Yeah.

1:17:01 Adam And he was abusive, right?

1:17:02 Caller Yeah.

1:17:03 Drew Well, that's why you've chosen another abusive male. This guy is another abuser. You know, you can think about this. I have a lot of time to think this weekend sitting at airports.

1:17:13 Adam I had a lot of time to drink.

1:17:14 Drew You can. You know, we talk in this show, we talk a lot about the automatic behavior that our listeners get into. Yeah. We know that this woman had an abusive dad. We know it.

1:17:25 Adam Yes.

1:17:25 Drew But the reality is a little bit of consciousness about this and she could make other choices.

1:17:31 Adam Yes.

1:17:31 Drew Not great choices, but she could make better choices.

1:17:34 Adam Yes.

1:17:34 Drew Go ahead. Feel free. Make better choices. That's free will. You don't have free will until you have some awareness. So you have consciousness.

1:17:41 Adam I never quite articulate this as eloquently as it sounds in my own head when I'm thinking about it. I can't be as passionate about it as I can relate over the radio. But listen everybody, I don't know why in this country we don't put a premium on psychology. It is the biggest, most important thing you can do for your life, for your family, what have you. Hold on. I'm on a roll here.

1:18:10 Drew I'm just saying we're going to create it in the media.

1:18:11 Adam When you figure out how your life works, what your past was, how it permeates your life today, how it affects your decision making today, the world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. Break it down. That's what it is. I mean, we talk about mastery of sports, and we talk about mastery of subjects, and we talk about degrees, and we talk about business, and we talk about many things. But what we don't talk about very much as a society is this subject. And so you spend a lot of time working toward diplomas that don't end up doing you much good. Yeah, you make a few more bucks. You make sure you drive a bigger car. But you're still a slave to your past. And if you spend just a little time working on this stuff, magically things work out. Your life gets better. You don't hook up with the same abusive guy over and over. You're not damned to a prison sentence, which is your life. Your dad treated you X, Y, and Z way. You spend your entire life acting out an X, Y, and Z way.

1:19:23 Drew Being the person who is treated by the males in that way.

1:19:27 Adam You think you grow out of this. You think this goes away. It gets deeper. You get deeper into it. It gets more acute. Little psychology though, it goes away. Now why we don't treat this as an important aspect of life in our society, I don't know. Why we hear about every president going to church, every one of them, we see going to church. Do they ever talk about going to a therapist? No. Do I give a rat's ass about Clinton going to church? That's a photo op. He's abusing interns. He's doing God knows what. He's feeling up every chick that gets within one of his paws. But it's important to see him standing out front of church on Sunday. I want a president who says, I ain't going to church Sunday. I'm going to therapy on Sunday. I want to try to hash out a few problems. Amen. That's the guy I'll vote for. You wouldn't even get elected in this country if you said, I don't go to church, I go to a therapist.

1:20:25 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer That's right. Or if they saw you cry.

1:20:27 Adam Right. I want a guy who gets in there and works out his problems. Not a guy who goes to church and takes a picture and then gives himself a hummer when the cameras are put away.

1:20:41 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Therapy is a sign of weakness in our society.

1:20:43 Adam It is. And it's frustrating. And I wish more people would work on it. And let me tell you, everybody, the joke is on you. Because you're damned to the life that your parents created for you otherwise. That's right. Now listen, here's my thing. Just get out of my way. I don't want to deal with you. You idiot.

1:21:01 Caller I'm upset, man.

1:21:02 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's one plane.

1:21:04 Adam Nicole?

1:21:05 Caller Hello?

1:21:06 Adam You're 24.

1:21:07 Caller Yeah, hi. First, I just want to say I saw Dr. Drew last week when he came to Champaign and it was great to see you.

1:21:12 Caller He did a really great job.

1:21:13 Drew Oh, thanks. Without Adam, huh?

1:21:15 Caller Yeah, it was good.

1:21:16 Drew My dad went to that school. I know. What school? University of Illinois. It was a beautiful camp. It was beautiful. It was a great room, big old room. Nice, very nice.

1:21:26 Adam Oh, yeah, the running cheapskates. What's the name of the team over there? The mascot is Joey the Miser. He carries a large penny and pinches it in one hand. What is... Drew's dad is very cheap. Your dad was a Lion Eye. That is the worst name for a college team in the history of college names. Illinois? A Lion Eye. It's like, hey, what team do you go to? I go to UCLA. I play for the Southern California guys. I play for the Californians. You know what I mean? That's pretty much just name the team after the state, right? Couldn't have thought that went out just a little more. No one saw a Badger or a Gopher or, you know, Honest Apes even? Yeah, couldn't have. The Log Cabins or something, you just name it after the state? What kind of thinking is that?

1:22:26 Drew Anyway.

1:22:26 Adam All right. So Drew was over there and it was fantastic, right? Exactly. And why wasn't I there, Drew?

1:22:33 Drew Because you will not take planes from one place to another.

1:22:37 Adam No, because I'm done with this nickel and dime craze. Drew would travel cross country to steal a piece of corn off a bingo card. He thought he could sell it for a nickel. Anything for money, that son of a bitch. Not me, I have integrity.

1:22:51 Drew What's up, Nicole?

1:22:52 Caller Okay, I don't need blood, and the blood bank rejected my blood because it had high liver enzymes. Right. They tested for hepatitis A, B, C, D, whatever.

1:23:02 Drew Yeah.

1:23:02 Caller And I don't have it.

1:23:03 Drew Good.

1:23:03 Caller That was a while back, and I got it tested again. I thought it might go away, but it didn't. So I want to know what it means, what it could be. But I also want to know if I shouldn't drink. Like, does it mean I should not drink?

1:23:15 Drew It means you should not drink until you figure out what's going on. Had you been drinking a lot at the time the blood tests were done?

1:23:19 Caller No, not excessively.

1:23:20 Drew Are you overweight? Are you of high cholesterol?

1:23:24 Caller No, I got my cholesterol tested too.

1:23:26 Drew There are other reasons for liver enzymes to grow up in something called a fatty liver, which can happen from excessive weight or from higher lipids and cholesterol. Alcohol obviously can do it. Medication can do it. Do you want any medication? Even birth control pills?

1:23:39 Caller No.

1:23:39 Drew Nothing?

1:23:40 Caller I mean, if I was on birth control pills a long time ago, is that...

1:23:44 Drew You know, I would mention right now, anything? Even Tylenol? Nothing. You ought to have a liver ultrasound and it ought to be checked out. I would send out somebody to liver specialists myself if I couldn't figure this out. But you're getting the right workup done. Get an ultrasound.

1:23:59 Adam Hey, Drew. Not for me, but for a friend. Those medications that say, don't drink with these.

1:24:05 Drew Yeah, the ones you always drink with? I mean, your friend drinks with them?

1:24:09 Adam That to me, when I see the stickers that say, don't drink with this, it's like when I come up and it says, four-way stop sign. That means, don't even slow down. They shouldn't have put the four-way. Now I got the green light. It's slowing down.

1:24:24 Drew I saw yours. You got a little martini glass with a cross through it. Bubbles coming up.

1:24:28 Adam Yeah, when I see that sleeping pill that says, no alcohol with this, now we're going to unlock its real potential. That's the way I think. Now, is that bad for my liver or is that just because it's going to jack me up? Because if it's a jack me up part, I'm all right with that.

1:24:43 Drew It depends on medicines, but for the most part, it's going to really lay out.

1:24:48 Adam I mean, most medications that say, don't drink with this.

1:24:53 Drew No.

1:24:53 Adam Not most.

1:24:54 Drew No. The ones I know you take.

1:24:56 Adam Oh, you don't even know because I got other doctors. I got Dr. Bruce under my thumb too.

1:25:01 Drew I mean, there are things like...

1:25:02 Adam He's scorned for me in Mexico right now.

1:25:04 Drew Metronidazole is all flagellate if you take your gut sicker than hell.

1:25:06 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer A doctor that needs to score in Mexico. Oh, man.

1:25:09 Adam What is that?

1:25:10 Drew It's an antibiotic.

1:25:11 Adam Oh, no, no. No, I'm talking about drugs. Yeah. Not antibiotics.

1:25:15 Drew I know what those are.

1:25:17 Adam All right. So, the stuff I have when it says, no boozing with it, that just means it's just going to kick it up a notch, right?

1:25:23 Drew Quite a bit.

1:25:24 Adam Nice. Eh, not that much.

1:25:26 Drew Potentially, yeah.

1:25:28 Adam Okay.

1:25:28 Caller All right.

1:25:29 Adam Just checking that out. All right.

1:25:31 Drew For a friend, let's go to Bright.

1:25:33 Adam We'll go to Bright. All right. Andy Lauer is our guest tonight. Gunshy is the name of his latest movie. Got Liam Neeson and Sandra Bullock in it. Have you met her?

1:25:43 Drew I met her.

1:25:44 Adam Drew has?

1:25:45 Drew Yeah. Where? We walked together through the Teen Choice Award line. She was one of the nicest people. Isn't she great? But I mean like radiant, like a really nice person.

1:25:54 Adam But she wasn't producing that.

1:25:55 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah. She wasn't producing the line.

1:25:57 Adam We were just walking, not cracking a whip.

1:25:59 Drew No.

1:26:00 Adam What the hell?

1:26:00 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Otherwise, she's great.

1:26:02 Adam All right. So no, I've never met Sandra Bullock. I've never met Liam Neeson. We got to get those guys on the show.

1:26:08 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You know me.

1:26:09 Drew Andy can bring them up.

1:26:10 Adam Can you bring them up? Are you guys on speaking terms?

1:26:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Well, I am with Oliver.

1:26:16 Adam That's short for Oliver Platt. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:26:24 Caller Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

1:26:27 Adam Well, it's worth hearing. All right, it is Loveline, Adam, that's Drew, Andy Lauer is our guest tonight, Andy is all this year's son, Caroline in the City, and now...

1:27:09 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I'm on TV right now.

1:27:10 Adam Gunshot. Oh, you are? Syndication?

1:27:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Yeah.

1:27:12 Drew Oh, you son of a bitch.

1:27:13 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer The gift that keeps giving.

1:27:15 Adam Oh, my God.

1:27:16 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's good stuff.

1:27:17 Adam No kidding. I mean, you can go... Well, you can make shorts about the Cuban kids. Exactly. I mean, that's what you do. That's what you do. Go find yourself. You got syndication.

1:27:29 Drew Sharks cages? Isn't that what you were in last time we were here?

1:27:31 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right, right. Exactly. Australia, the shark cages.

1:27:34 Adam And another time, I think it was underneath the polar cap.

1:27:38 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Nice pole. You guys actually listen. Diving, scuba diving, the North Pole.

1:27:44 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know. I don't sweat the details in life, but I know about Andy Lauer's life.

1:27:52 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer We're actually trying to make it to Morocco over the summer. And Morocco, Tunisia, Algiers.

1:27:59 Drew Going to the polarized caps.

1:28:01 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer The only continent I haven't been to is Africa, and it's back ending.

1:28:04 Adam Andy's one of these guys who has a real yearning and a zest for living, whereas I have a zest for napping.

1:28:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer I say you go eight months on, four months off.

1:28:14 Drew Be honest. You do other things, too.

1:28:16 Adam I have a yearning for masturbation, but a zest for napping.

1:28:18 Drew Yeah, that's true.

1:28:20 Adam And a flair for watching TV. I think that's where my gift really lies. I haven't been to any continents. Are we on a continent now?

1:28:28 Drew You still haven't traveled, too. You're a serious traveler.

1:28:33 Adam I got the big, lovey eye shade, the big padded nappy, the one with the fur, the fringe on it, eye shade, and I got the earplugs, I got the cocktail in my hand, I got the seat.

1:28:45 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer See, that's me, that's me. Flying to Bali or to Thailand or something?

1:28:52 Adam That's me leaving out of Burbank and going to John Wayne.

1:28:55 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's so sad.

1:28:56 Adam That's me going from Orange County to Burbank. Oh yeah, not to Bali. Bali, I think I'd have to, I'd put myself into like a diabetic coma or something, and I'd be shipped in a casket.

1:29:07 Drew Crowd therapy.

1:29:08 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You know when that's frozen?

1:29:09 Adam It'd thaw me in Bali. They'd have to send a head of support team or something though, wouldn't they?

1:29:14 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer They'd say no, they'd say Dr. Drew, go get your friend, man.

1:29:17 Drew You'd see to it.

1:29:18 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer You know when that girl was talking about her liver, I've gotten some crazy stuff over there. I got Dengue in Cambodia, in Phnom Penh.

1:29:26 Drew Ouch, that is nasty. It's similar to Malaria, it's transmitted the same way. Different mosquito.

1:29:32 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Different mosquito, same pain. I was in a room, a small room with a ceiling fan in Phnom Penh, just sweating it out for a week.

1:29:40 Drew Dengue fever, interesting. How bizarre that comes up tonight. I was teaching my daughter about Malaria tonight because it came up in a story.

1:29:49 Adam What kind of story you read? A story about World War II or something?

1:29:52 Drew Little House on the Prairie of all things. Wow.

1:29:53 Adam Really?

1:29:54 Drew The original story.

1:29:55 Adam Malaria in there?

1:29:56 Drew Yeah, those days.

1:29:57 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Nice segue.

1:29:57 Adam Tanya?

1:29:58 Hi.

1:29:59 Adam You shouldn't be reading your children anyway, Drew. You should be letting them watch TV. You're 30, what's up?

1:30:05 Caller Hi, I've been having this problem for a long time. The beginning of the relationship for the first month, everything's fine. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. And then I start getting burning during intercourse.

1:30:21 Drew How long into it? Not into the relationship. Not very long.

1:30:25 Caller How long into the relationship?

1:30:26 Drew No, no, I mean into the event. A minute?

1:30:28 Caller Yeah.

1:30:29 Caller Sometimes it doesn't take very long at all. I don't know.

1:30:34 Drew Give me an estimate. A minute?

1:30:36 Caller Yeah, a minute, two minutes, not very long.

1:30:38 Adam You wouldn't have that problem with me, sister.

1:30:40 Caller Yeah, okay.

1:30:42 Drew You never get that far.

1:30:44 Adam What kind of marathon love making is that?

1:30:47 Caller It doesn't always happen. And...

1:30:50 Drew What is your question?

1:30:52 Caller I can't, it's awful.

1:30:53 Caller It's just awful.

1:30:54 Caller I've been in counseling.

1:30:56 Caller Counseling?

1:30:57 Drew Do they think it's something to do with that?

1:30:58 Caller I think it's something to do with it because it's only in the beginning of the relationship and it kicks in when my intimacy issues start coming up.

1:31:06 Drew Oh, well.

1:31:07 Caller And...

1:31:09 Drew Do you have trouble lubricating at that point, too?

1:31:12 Caller Yeah, that's been a problem. I've used lubricants, but the burning is still there. I have a problem with recurrent bladder infections after intercourse.

1:31:20 Drew And you've been all checked out, make sure there's nothing going on down there?

1:31:22 Caller Yeah, yeah, and I'm on macrobid prophylaxis.

1:31:25 Adam But you know, Tony, when you get with a new partner, you get that little disturbance in the flora and fauna down there, and maybe it is the urine infection. That's it, psychological. You know, it's funny about the vagina. I was just thinking about this. The penis has no emotion attached to it.

1:31:44 Drew There's nothing funny about it.

1:31:45 Adam It's just like a penis is a mechanical device, like a steam engine or something. The vagina is like one of these futuristic cyborgs you see in these movies where it's part aluminum and titanium, but yet there's some nerve endings in the brain around it too. That's what the vagina is, a cyborg. The penis is just like a...

1:32:08 Drew It's a droid.

1:32:09 Adam Yeah, it's a droid. The penis is just like a steam kettle or something.

1:32:12 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer It's a simple organ.

1:32:13 Adam It barely has any moving parts. It's not really attached to anything. It whistles.

1:32:17 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Slow maintenance.

1:32:21 Adam You put the flame on her for too long, it starts to blow. I mean, that's about it. But yeah, the vagina, it's like a woman gets in the wrong frame of mind. It starts drying up. You know, it's just a mysterious pain that comes. There's emotional stuff attached to it. It just reminds me of that. They're always talking about that in the future. The robot meets the person that's sort of a fleshy cyborg.

1:32:43 Drew That's where that fascination comes from.

1:32:44 Adam It's really metaphor for vagina. Interesting. I'm going to do a symposium on that. A learning annex at UCLA coming up. Helen?

1:32:54 Caller Yeah.

1:32:54 Adam You're 20.

1:32:56 Caller Yeah. I have a history of depression in OCD.

1:33:00 Drew We've got that little girl voice.

1:33:06 Caller I've been sleeping for 15 hours a day. Even when I'm not depressed, I can't get out of bed.

1:33:13 Drew Well, that's still depression, though.

1:33:14 Caller That's depression, yeah.

1:33:17 Adam All right. So what happened?

1:33:18 Caller The problem is that I've been in therapy for two years, and the medications I take don't help me. I feel really frustrated because I've tried so many, and they don't do anything for me. I don't feel like I can wait another six weeks or something for something to kick in.

1:33:38 Drew How many different medicines have you been on?

1:33:40 Caller Well, I'm on four right now.

1:33:42 Drew Four different medicines.

1:33:43 Adam What are you on?

1:33:44 Caller Well, Butrin, Zoloft, Haldor, and Effexor.

1:33:51 Drew What is your diagnosis? Schizoaffective or something?

1:33:55 Caller OCD, mild Tourette's, and depression.

1:33:58 Adam Did something happen to you? You got that little girl voice. Did you get molested?

1:34:04 Caller Once.

1:34:05 Drew How old were you?

1:34:06 Caller I don't know, ten.

1:34:08 Caller I don't know.

1:34:09 Adam What happened?

1:34:10 Caller I was in a hotel pool and this stranger just was molesting me under the water.

1:34:19 Adam Nothing else?

1:34:21 Caller My mom had OCD too and had a really, really rough time with her.

1:34:25 Caller Before.

1:34:25 Caller She had killed two years ago in an accident.

1:34:28 Adam Oh boy. All right. So you got your work cut out for you. I mean you're depressed.

1:34:34 Drew Yeah.

1:34:35 Adam And that's what keeps you in bed.

1:34:36 Drew Yep.

1:34:37 Adam And you get depressed and your batteries just get drained.

1:34:40 Drew Did they ever talk about ECT to you? No.

1:34:44 Caller I've been in and out of the hospital so many times.

1:34:48 Adam You're going in and out of the hospital?

1:34:50 Caller Yeah.

1:34:50 Drew Psychiatric hospital.

1:34:51 Adam I see.

1:34:52 Caller And every time they put me on a new medication, they're so convinced that it works because I get these mood swings and then I feel better and then they think that it's a medication and then I feel worse. I mean like two weeks later I feel horrible again and they're convinced that I'm taking it wrong or something and I've talked to my psychiatrist so many times and he thinks it's working but it's not and I think it's all in my head now and I start to doubt because it's just a horrible cycle you know because then I start doubting whether I have depression and stuff like that.

1:35:24 Adam Hey Helen, you definitely have depression and it's going to be something you're going to have to fight through and work on and it's going to be difficult.

1:35:33 Drew You're on a very powerful combination of medicines and all you can do is keep trying to find something that works.

1:35:38 Adam But part of it is a lifestyle too. I mean you feel tired, you don't want to get out of bed, get out of bed. I haven't said this in a while and I know you always laugh at it. Get out and go on a five mile walk.

1:35:48 Andrew ‘Andy’ Lauer Right, go fly a kite, get on a sports team.

1:35:51 Adam Just start moving.

1:35:52 Caller I don't know, I'm not laughing about that.

1:35:54 Drew That's serious.

1:35:55 Adam Let me, I want to say something interesting I was thinking about the other day. You know, your emotional state will sort of make you the kind of person you are. But your actions will make you the kind of person you are as well. You can be depressed, you can be disorganized, you can be hurting, but you get up and jog five miles five days a week and you're the dude who jogs five miles every day. I don't care what you feel like inside and eventually your actions are going to change the way you feel.

1:36:22 Drew You're the dude that screams at his partner when you miss a plane.

1:36:24 Adam Shut up! No! Let's take a break.

1:36:33 Caller We'll be right back with more GIO Get It On.

1:37:02 Drew Hey, they're interrupting our important discussion.

1:37:04 Adam Yeah. All right. I want to thank Andy Lauer for coming in here and being a good guy tonight. And again, you can find him in Gunshot. Movie's out as we speak. Tomorrow night, David Alan Greer will be in here. I guarantee that will be a good show because he's always good and he's very combative. I like that.

1:37:20 Drew I'm very smart.

1:37:21 Adam We will be back in about 22 hours. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is.

1:37:32 Caller Well, now.

1:37:33 Caller This has been Loveline.

1:37:34 Caller The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors or anyone else, including Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Monday, February 14, 2000