1:41
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience.
1:44
Voiceover
Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.
1:49
Voiceover
Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.
1:52
Voiceover
I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.
1:54
Voiceover
Loveline.
1:56
Adam
It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. All right, is that it?
2:10
Drew
That's it.
2:10
Adam
That's good. The Goo Goo Dolls should be rolling in here in a matter of moments. There's a little crowd out in the parking lot. I think people are anticipating their arrival.
2:22
Drew
More proof that we can't take a good picture, no matter what.
2:25
Adam
This picture that someone handed us when we walked in from the parking lot is still better than any publicity shot.
2:31
Drew
That's true.
2:32
Adam
A drunken teenager shot this on a disposable camera from the fifth row at the Acoustic Christmas and it's still better than any. No makeup, no hair, no stylist. Still better than any professional shot we have, which isn't saying much.
2:46
Drew
Speaking of professional, I had forgotten that you went out there with a beer.
2:49
Adam
Oh yes. I get a nice buzz on early at those shows, Drew. Loosens me up. Otherwise, I can't perform in front of large crowds.
2:56
Oh my God.
2:57
Adam
I have stage fright. You know that. All right. We're going to get on the phones. Say Farris is going to be in here tomorrow. Like I said, The Goo Goo Dolls tonight. Let me take care of a little piece of business before we hit the phones. I was talking to Andy Dick earlier today.
3:13
Drew
Where? Why?
3:14
Adam
I called him up. Oh my God.
3:18
Holy Jesus.
3:19
Drew
Get me more of this.
3:20
Adam
He's got to help us do something on the Man Show. Halfway into me trying to tell him he has to help us do something on the Man Show, he told me that I had to help him do something.
3:28
Drew
Where are the Bitches of the Century playing?
3:30
Adam
They're going to play at the Mint on Sunday Night at 8 o'clock. That is their new night, the Mint on Peacone Crescent Heights, Sunday Night, 8 o'clock, Andy and his Bitches.
3:40
Jesus Christ in heaven.
3:43
Where is this bin?
3:44
Send me an ounce of this stuff.
3:47
Adam
Those of you who I think that Andy said nothing more in a novelty ban are exactly right. But the point is-
3:53
Drew
They're great, though.
3:54
Adam
They're fun. I mean, that's a good time. I would go if I was inclined to leave the house. Yvonne?
4:00
Yes?
4:01
Adam
You're 25. What's up?
4:03
Caller
First, I just want to say that I love your show, and I listen to it every night.
4:07
Thank you.
4:08
Caller
The question I have is, I want to know why men wake up with erections every morning, and when they go to the bathroom, why does it go down, and sometimes it doesn't?
4:17
Drew
Well, it's basically, part of it is caused by the stretch on the bladder. A full bladder causes a spinal reflex. It also causes some vascular congestion, and some of the normal cycling phenomenon of sleep contribute to this. So, there's several reasons.
4:33
Adam
And you're dreaming about women theoretically.
4:36
Drew
That's what I thought.
4:37
Adam
No, no, no. If you sleep, here's a-
4:40
Drew
If you're dreaming about pirates, you're still going to have it from the spinal reflex.
4:43
Adam
Well, the good-looking pirates bending over to pick up their swords and whatnot. Sure, of course you're going to get an erection. But Drew, no one has done this test. But what do you think about this theory?
4:53
Drew
Yeah.
4:53
Adam
I bet guys who sleep on their stomach get more erections than guys who sleep on their back.
4:58
Drew
No one has done that study. That's correct.
4:59
Adam
Because for me, it's a little- there's a pressure thing that's working.
5:03
Drew
Yeah, yeah. It's all pressure and spinal reflexes.
5:06
Adam
No, but I'm not talking about bladder pressure. I'm talking about physical mattress pressure.
5:10
Drew
I understand.
5:11
Adam
You lie down. It's like when you had your jeans on in high school, and you get an erection in the penis.
5:16
The wind blows.
5:17
Adam
Well, what I'm saying is, is it was sort of a battle of wills between the denim in your pants and your unit.
5:23
Drew
Yeah.
5:23
Adam
You had the feeling if you're walking around with your pants around your ankles, you wouldn't have had half as many erections. Thank you. All right. JD.
5:32
Yes.
5:32
Adam
You're 15.
5:33
Caller
Yeah.
5:34
Adam
What's up?
5:35
Caller
I'm epileptic, and I have oral sex with my boyfriend. I'm scared that I'll have a seizure. Is there anything that I can do to help calm my nerves?
5:45
Drew
Why are you so nervous?
5:46
Adam
You guys. Hi, Johnny. You guys came in in a very good call. Oh, you did?
5:52
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
5:55
Adam
We're going to put them on hold here. Mike and Johnny from the Goo Goo Dolls have just entered the studio.
6:01
Goo Goo Dolls
How are you guys?
6:02
Adam
Oh, we're good. How are you?
6:04
Goo Goo Dolls
Good. Always nice to be here.
6:06
Adam
Always nice to be here and have you here when we're here. Yeah, but we're still humble enough to have a crappy studio.
6:13
Drew
We're not getting famous. We just sort of been there for a long time. You know what I mean?
6:17
Adam
Yes. It's not like we're getting famous, but we're not not getting famous.
6:21
Drew
We're not.
6:21
Caller
You work all the time. You're always on radio.
6:23
Goo Goo Dolls
When do you sleep? When do you?
6:25
Adam
I sleep between 2 AM and 9.30 in the morning and then I leave the house.
6:31
Drew
12.38 and 6.24.
6:34
Adam
To be fair, though, Drew starts into his REM cycle about 10.45. And then wakes up for a brief period of time at midnight to drive home and then goes back to bed. That's the way I look at it. Yeah. All right. Drew, and before, let me just tell you what call we're in the middle of. JD was 15. He's gay. He's epileptic. He goes down on his boyfriend and he's scared he's going to have a seizure and bite the guy's schvanzos.
6:58
Caller
Oh, yeah. We always come at the best times.
7:00
Goo Goo Dolls
He's afraid that what?
7:01
Adam
Well, I think he's scared he's going to have a seizure in the middle of oral sex and leave with a souvenir. Can you guys say, can you hear okay?
7:10
Goo Goo Dolls
No, I can't hear anything. My headphones are completely dead.
7:13
Drew
They're plugged in.
7:13
Adam
Perfect.
7:14
Goo Goo Dolls
They're plugged in.
7:14
Adam
Plugged in and the knobs there.
7:16
Goo Goo Dolls
I've been in a studio before. I know how to. Oh, there it is. Okay.
7:19
Adam
See you got it.
7:20
Goo Goo Dolls
Sometimes you got to only plug it in halfway.
7:23
Adam
Let's see. A couple of things to say. One. Oh, here. Yeah. Westwood 2. Yes. Drew saw you guys at the Kids' Choice Awards, right?
7:32
Goo Goo Dolls
Did you see that I flubbed a bunch of words that were not suitable for children?
7:36
Drew
I couldn't really tell. I was too busy listening to the screaming.
7:40
Goo Goo Dolls
I know it was. It was weird. Then they blew up a bunch of pyro-technic stuff in front of me and I'm like, you know.
7:45
Adam
Really? Yeah.
7:46
Goo Goo Dolls
Big flames come shooting out of the stage.
7:49
Drew
They did the same thing for Jennifer Lopez. It worked a little better.
7:52
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, yeah. Well, you know.
7:53
Caller
They're about 10 seconds late. I'm looking up going, where's the fire?
7:56
Drew
I thought it was genius you guys were there. Really?
7:58
Goo Goo Dolls
It was fun. It was really a lot of fun.
8:00
Adam
Drew actually came in here that night and he said, what the F are the Goo Goo Dolls doing there terrorizing those poor kids? He did say that. I swear to God, he said that.
8:08
Goo Goo Dolls
That's good.
8:09
Drew
No, I said of all the bands, the Goo Goo Dolls, that there was a, I like surprises like that.
8:15
Goo Goo Dolls
At least it wasn't the Limp Biz Kids, Drew. I don't think we pose a threat to children.
8:21
Adam
I'm told, hey, Goo Goo Dolls, kids love Goo Goo Dolls just in general.
8:25
Drew
God.
8:25
Adam
They don't love Limp Biscuits. They don't even know what Limp Biscuits are.
8:29
Goo Goo Dolls
I don't either.
8:30
Adam
Dizzy Up the Girl, I'm told has gone triple platinum, so congratulations. I saw the Goo Goo Dolls story on, was it Behind the Music or something like that? What was it? Was it Behind the Music? Very interesting. It turns out Johnny is the only person in show business who has a worse childhood than I have.
8:51
Drew
No.
8:53
Adam
This was horrible.
8:54
Drew
Comparable.
8:54
Goo Goo Dolls
It was comparable, yes. We can commiserate after the show that we have a doctor here.
8:58
Adam
Mine was sort of just boring or maybe loathsome, but his was just painful. So no wonder you're such a fine artist.
9:06
Goo Goo Dolls
I don't think this guy.
9:07
Adam
It doesn't. Come on.
9:08
Goo Goo Dolls
Of course it does.
9:09
Adam
You think?
9:10
Goo Goo Dolls
I don't know if I believe that tortured artist crap because I generally write a lot when I'm happy.
9:16
Drew
It applies to comedians.
9:18
Goo Goo Dolls
Every comedian I know is absolutely miserable when they're not on stage. Right.
9:23
Adam
If I had had a tougher childhood, I'd be fine.
9:25
Caller
Do that again. That was a good one. Where is it?
9:27
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. Yeah.
9:29
Adam
All right. So the Goo Goo Dolls are just here hanging. They're done touring. New CD is not coming out for a little while.
9:36
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, a long time.
9:37
Adam
We'll hear a new single, though, that's going to be released Broadway, right?
9:41
Goo Goo Dolls
The Broadway, yeah.
9:42
Adam
Right.
9:42
Goo Goo Dolls
That's a good one.
9:43
Adam
And we'll hear that in just a few minutes, and we'll get back to JD, who's still gay.
9:48
Goo Goo Dolls
The oral sex epileptic.
9:49
Adam
Still epileptic. Hey, JD?
9:52
Caller
Yeah.
9:53
Adam
How often do you have seizures?
9:55
Caller
Like, it's not too frequently. It's usually when I'm, like, real nervous or something like that.
10:01
Drew
If you're so nervous to do this thing, maybe you're not ready to do it. It's something that you should feel comfortable and good about.
10:07
Adam
Are you having oral sex with your boyfriend?
10:09
Caller
I've only done it, like, once or twice.
10:11
Drew
But it makes you nervous, right?
10:13
Caller
Yeah.
10:13
Adam
How old is he?
10:15
Caller
He's 16.
10:16
Adam
Oh, boy. And is he frightened? Because, you know, that's like playing Russian roulette. The epileptic kid's giving you a BJ, and you never know when he's going to go off. And when you go off, you bite, right? Right?
10:34
Caller
Yeah.
10:35
Adam
I mean, oh, my God.
10:37
Goo Goo Dolls
These sound effects are amazing.
10:40
Adam
Yeah. Yeah.
10:44
Drew
What medicines do you want?
10:45
Caller
Dilatant.
10:46
Drew
I'm sorry?
10:47
Caller
Dilatant.
10:48
Drew
Dilatant? Yeah. Have you had your levels checked lately?
10:51
Caller
No.
10:52
Adam
All right.
10:52
Drew
Why don't you before certainly before you engage in anything, make sure your levels are therapeutic. And I would say you just cool out until you're comfortable doing these things.
11:00
Adam
Do you feel one of these seizures coming on?
11:03
Drew
Some people do sometimes.
11:04
Adam
Do you, JD?
11:05
Caller
No, not really. I just put second things.
11:08
Adam
It just hits, huh?
11:09
Caller
Yeah.
11:10
Adam
Oh, boy. All right.
11:11
Goo Goo Dolls
So there's no warning when something like that happens?
11:13
Drew
Well, there's something called an aura that most people get. So they feel something coming and then boom.
11:18
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
11:19
Adam
All right. Hey, JD?
11:21
Caller
Yeah.
11:21
Adam
Okay. Yeah. Take it slow.
11:23
Caller
All right.
11:24
Adam
All right. File your teeth down or something.
11:26
Caller
Okay.
11:27
Adam
All right.
11:28
Goo Goo Dolls
Or you can just have them taken out.
11:29
Adam
Yeah. Well, I put like a boxer's mouthpiece top and bottom or something. I don't know. There's something just so wrong about the kid with the epilepsy going down on his teenager boyfriend. It just conjures up bad imagery.
11:45
It really does.
11:47
Adam
I'm going to have difficulty masturbating tonight, is what I'm saying. Oh, no, Josh. Difficulty meaning four to five minutes. Right.
11:54
Drew
Josh?
11:56
Yes.
11:56
Adam
You're 19. What's up?
11:59
Caller
I'm kind of balding in the pubic area.
12:01
All my hair is falling out and I don't know why.
12:05
Drew
In patches or diffusely?
12:07
Just not really in patches.
12:10
It's just kind of all.
12:13
Adam
Can you do a nut comb over? That's what I do. I just grow out the nut and comb that right over the top.
12:21
It's kind of turned into a rash type thing.
12:24
Drew
All right. Well, that's why you're losing the hair. A rash will cause you to lose hair, especially if you're itching, scratching rather.
12:29
It hurts really badly.
12:31
Drew
Okay. What about seeing a dermatologist?
12:34
A dermatologist?
12:35
Adam
Yeah.
12:36
So I didn't know if this was an STD or...
12:39
Drew
Well, do you want to try to describe the rash to me?
12:41
It's just kind of red and bumpy.
12:44
Adam
Whatever it is, you need to see somebody, though, right?
12:47
Drew
Red and bumpy doesn't help me very much, Josh. And it itches. And the itching, it's probably the scratching that's causing the hair to drop out more than anything else. But the inflammation can do it, too.
12:54
Well, I try not to itch it because in public that's really not appropriate.
12:57
Drew
Yeah. It's probably a fungus. It may or may not be an STD. You have to have somebody look at it. Okay.
13:03
I didn't know if it was very serious or...
13:05
Drew
Well, it's...
13:07
Adam
What color is your hair, Josh?
13:09
Brown.
13:10
Adam
Brown. All right. You can't just do a little magic marker or something down there to kind of...
13:15
Drew
The spray paint stuff.
13:16
Adam
Weave it in. Yeah. That top coverage stuff. You comb the hair away from the bald spot, you spray the dark top coverage in and then you comb the hair back over it. Comb the stuff back over it? Yeah.
13:25
Drew
No. Anything on the skin can make this rash worse. You might try some Quartet or something like that in the meantime, but you need to see a doctor, right?
13:31
Adam
Okay. All right, Josh. Good luck with the hair. You know what I love about that commercial, the top coverage? I don't know what they're calling it now, but they used to call it top coverage when I was a kid. They'd show the guy shoe polish. You'd comb it away from the bald spot, you'd paint your bald spot, and then you'd comb the hair back over it, and they'd always go, won't come off on upholstery.
13:51
Caller
That's good to know.
13:51
Adam
Yeah, that'd be a bitch.
13:53
Caller
So you just have a stained head, but you're supposed to not be able to tell that there's no hair, that there's just this big black spot.
13:58
Drew
Isn't that scary what's sold to people and what they'll buy?
14:02
Adam
Yeah, and you know what's scary most about people is the human eye is so amazing. I mean, we can spot a guy who's plucked his eyebrows or sprayed a little top coverage on, or who's had hair transplants.
14:14
Goo Goo Dolls
I always spot the hair transplants.
14:16
Adam
Yeah, I mean, it's amazing how, you know, it's like the human eye isn't that great, but when it comes to alterations and especially to males, we can spot a guy on the other side of the street at night. What about the wigs, though? Tubes are easy to spot.
14:30
Goo Goo Dolls
The hair plugs. No, the hair plugs. You got to tell me, well, how come they can't make it look like it's real in the front?
14:36
Adam
I think they can now.
14:38
Drew
They can.
14:38
Goo Goo Dolls
Can they?
14:39
Drew
But it's very expensive and time consuming.
14:40
Goo Goo Dolls
Because, you know, you always see these guys that have this really straight, especially, you know, in California.
14:46
Adam
Right.
14:46
Goo Goo Dolls
In Buffalo, everybody just gets fat and bald and don't care.
14:49
Adam
Right.
14:50
Goo Goo Dolls
But everybody out here is like, you know.
14:51
Adam
It's my plan. If I ever start packing on the weight and the hair starts falling out, I'm moving to Buffalo. That's right. Sam, Sam, you're 16. What's up?
15:01
Caller
Hey, what's up?
15:02
Hey, Goo Goo Dolls. First of all, you guys are great.
15:04
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks.
15:07
Drew
Thanks.
15:07
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks. Talk to you later.
15:09
Caller
Now, what's what?
15:10
Drew
Mike, Sam.
15:11
Adam
I mean, Sam.
15:13
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
15:14
Adam
Go ahead.
15:16
Caller
I have a really small girlfriend and she's 13. I'm 16. And I'm wondering if I have sex with her, if I can physically hurt her.
15:23
Drew
At 13, you can certainly scar her in many ways.
15:26
Adam
That's right.
15:27
Caller
You know, like, just like.
15:29
Drew
Hey, worry about more the long term scar of her not being ready for this.
15:34
Caller
Oh, she's ready for it.
15:35
Drew
No, no, no.
15:36
Adam
She's not.
15:37
Drew
She's not.
15:39
Adam
What grade is she in?
15:40
Caller
She's in eighth grade.
15:41
Adam
Eighth grade. And you're what, in the 11th grade?
15:44
Caller
Yeah, I'm a junior.
15:45
Adam
Yeah. That's a little.
15:46
Goo Goo Dolls
Why are you going out with an eighth grader?
15:48
Adam
It's a big three years there.
15:49
Goo Goo Dolls
That's, I mean, that's a bigger chasm than say she was 21 and you were 24.
15:55
Drew
He's just a dick.
15:55
Adam
Oh, yeah. Thanks, Drew. Sam?
15:58
Caller
Yeah.
15:58
Adam
And why don't you just let her be an eighth grader and leave her alone a little bit? You know what I mean?
16:03
Drew
If you're so concerned about hurting her.
16:05
Caller
She's like a freak, man.
16:06
Drew
Well, then letting her act that out is not going to help her.
16:10
Caller
But if I do have sex with her, can I like hurt her down there? She's like a size zero.
16:15
Goo Goo Dolls
If you do have sex with her, you're just going to screw her mind up because I don't think anybody who's 13 is ready to have sex.
16:21
Drew
No.
16:21
Adam
All right, Sam.
16:22
Caller
All right.
16:23
Adam
I know you're worried about tearing her vulva, but that's not the real problem. That'll heal whatever physical damage you do to her. Emotionally, she's going to be screwed up for a while. All right. I know you're not so worried about that, but it does play. It will come into play at a certain point in life. All right, Sam? Okay. All right, leave her alone. You stick with the...
16:44
Caller
Stick with the juniors. Yes, stick with the sophomores, right.
16:47
Maybe the sophomores. All right.
16:48
Adam
All right, Sam? I got the feeling maybe you can't get one, but...
16:52
Caller
I can get one.
16:53
Adam
All right, well then get one, wise ass.
16:54
Caller
Cool, then do it. All right.
16:56
Adam
I give you 24 hours. Renée?
16:59
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah?
17:00
Adam
You're 21.
17:00
Drew
Godspeed.
17:01
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. I have a question. I'm on Coumadin for a blood clot in my leg, and I'm wondering if that affects my ability to achieve an orgasm.
17:12
Drew
It shouldn't. How did you end up with a blood clot? What's going on?
17:16
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, after I had my baby, they found a blood clot about 10 inches in my leg.
17:20
Drew
All right. So you're going to be on Coumadin about six months?
17:23
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
17:24
Drew
All right. What does that do?
17:24
Adam
Thin your blood out?
17:26
Drew
Yeah. It prevents vitamin K absorption.
17:28
Goo Goo Dolls
I'm sorry. What was that?
17:29
Drew
It prevents absorption of certain vitamins so the clotting factors can't be formed normally, and it causes a thinning of the blood.
17:37
Adam
But that doesn't slow down the orgasm?
17:39
Drew
No. It shouldn't really have any effect at all on it. But are you on any other medications?
17:42
Goo Goo Dolls
No. I'm nothing else at all.
17:44
Adam
Are you having trouble with the orgasm?
17:47
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
17:47
Drew
How long ago was the delivery?
17:49
Goo Goo Dolls
The baby?
17:50
Drew
The baby was delivered?
17:53
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
17:53
Drew
How long ago?
17:55
Goo Goo Dolls
December 27th. So I've been on Coumadin about three months. Yeah.
18:00
Drew
I wonder if it has more to do with... You didn't have a pulmonary embolus or any complications from the clot?
18:05
Goo Goo Dolls
No.
18:05
Drew
I just wonder if it's more to do with the hormonal changes of having had a baby.
18:09
Adam
Where's your old man?
18:11
Goo Goo Dolls
Right now? He's at work.
18:13
Adam
All right. Are you guys married?
18:15
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes.
18:16
Adam
Really?
18:16
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes.
18:17
Adam
All right. All right. Well, how's he doing with this?
18:20
Goo Goo Dolls
He's getting disappointed with himself.
18:24
Adam
With himself?
18:25
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
18:26
Adam
Why with himself?
18:27
Goo Goo Dolls
Because he thinks it's his fault.
18:28
Adam
He does. But you tell him he's not, right?
18:31
Goo Goo Dolls
Right.
18:31
Adam
It's not his fault.
18:32
Goo Goo Dolls
I can't even have an orgasm by myself.
18:35
Adam
Do you have... But do you guys still have sex?
18:37
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
18:38
Drew
Anything else going on with the stress of the child or anything?
18:43
Goo Goo Dolls
My next guess is it could be just with a new baby and all.
18:46
Drew
The stress and all the depression. Maybe it's a mood problem, huh?
18:49
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
18:50
Adam
Do you hump with the kid in the room?
18:52
Goo Goo Dolls
No.
18:53
Drew
Are you lactating still?
18:54
Adam
I don't know.
18:55
Drew
Are you breastfeeding?
18:56
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes.
18:57
Drew
Sometimes that can suppress stuff.
18:59
Goo Goo Dolls
Oh.
19:00
Drew
The breastfeeding. And or are you having normal periods?
19:03
Goo Goo Dolls
No, none at all.
19:04
Drew
Oh, come on. You got to talk to your gynecologist. Your hormones are out of whack here.
19:09
Adam
Why?
19:09
Goo Goo Dolls
Do you think there's something they could, I mean, they could give? Yeah.
19:12
Drew
It's real common for women after they deliver to have rather substantial drop off in their sex drive and their ability to have orgasm be aroused and whatnot. And if you're breastfeeding, they can get even worse.
19:20
Adam
Drew, when should you get the kid out of the room if you're going to hump with the kid in the room? You know what I mean?
19:25
Drew
No.
19:25
Goo Goo Dolls
I mean, how old can the kid be before you hump?
19:29
Adam
Well, I mean, let's say the kid's three weeks old. You can hump away with the kid in the room, right? You don't want to leave him in the next room. The kid's suffocating or something in the next room. You're getting a BJ watching TV.
19:41
Drew
No, no, you can't do anything.
19:42
Adam
What kind of parenting is that?
19:44
Drew
You should right away have him.
19:45
Adam
You put the kid in the room, right?
19:46
Drew
No.
19:46
Adam
No?
19:47
Drew
No.
19:47
Adam
You think they'll pick something up?
19:49
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
19:49
Adam
Do you?
19:50
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
19:50
Adam
What do you think they'll get? Like they'll get blinded by a spray of semen or something? Are you talking about that or are you talking about emotional stuff?
19:58
Drew
Emotional stuff.
19:59
Adam
Really?
20:00
Drew
I mean, it's not, oh my god, but it's better to keep him out.
20:04
Adam
Yeah, but you figure, you figure it a couple of weeks, it's no big deal, right?
20:07
Drew
You better keep him out.
20:09
Adam
Yeah, you think so?
20:10
Caller
What about when your two-week-old baby is taken to the other room?
20:12
Adam
What's that?
20:13
Caller
But how do you take a two-week-old baby and put it in the other room? What if he's out there for hours?
20:16
Drew
Drew's really uptight. Oh yeah, don't do that.
20:18
Adam
Drew, have you showed your son's your penis yet?
20:22
Drew
I've now put it on quarantine.
20:24
Adam
What's that mean? Your penis?
20:26
Drew
Yeah, put it away.
20:27
Adam
Okay, I got this plan. That's a horrible idea, Drew.
20:29
Drew
No, under your direction.
20:31
Adam
First, you show them the penis.
20:33
Drew
That was when they were littler.
20:35
Adam
Okay, here's what I said to Drew. Drew's got a couple of boys and a young girl, all triplets, all what, seven years old. Every guy at one point growing up catches a glimpse of his dad's Johnson when he's like four, five, six, and then never sees it again. But then for his entire life, he says his dad has the biggest dick he's ever seen in his life because, hey, when you're six, you're ready to hang on to it like you're in the subway. Right? I mean, the thing's just, it's massive. You look down at yours, you look up at your dad's. The thing's about eye, right in your eyesight, right? Right eye level, about nose level. And then, so what I tell Drew is chub up a little bit. Make sure the lighting is just right. Don't terrorize the kid. You know, don't kick open the bedroom door or anything, but do something where you're walking through the house, you know the kids see it, and you know, step on the towel, some sort of clumsy maneuver. Have it fall off. Let them get a good look, and then put the towel back on, and for the rest of their lives, you know, their friends are-
21:34
Goo Goo Dolls
Is it a dominance thing?
21:35
Adam
Yeah. Well, it's going to be one of these things. Their friends come over in high school and stuff, and the buddies, and you go, how you doing, kids? And they go, oh, good. And then you walk out, and they're all elbowing each other.
21:46
Caller
Right, of course.
21:47
Caller
It's not a bad plan.
21:48
Adam
It's a pretty good plan. Yeah, I mean, how could that be bad? Your kid thinks you have a huge penis for the rest of your life, and they never see it again. But Drew, the window, I figure, is from about four to about eight. Four to six?
22:02
Drew
Yeah, then you put me on strict isolation. They're not allowed to see it anymore.
22:07
Adam
Did you show it to them?
22:08
Drew
Of course.
22:09
Adam
All right, now?
22:10
Drew
Shut down.
22:11
Adam
Shut down, okay.
22:12
Drew
You're careful supervision. You're a watchful eye.
22:15
Adam
All right, I just want to make sure, because like I said, the window's only opened for a couple of years.
22:19
Caller
Before they have any idea of anything, right.
22:20
Drew
You have to be very careful not to let them see it again, right?
22:23
Adam
Right.
22:23
Drew
It ruins the whole thing.
22:24
Adam
Absolutely.
22:25
Goo Goo Dolls
Can I just... I wanted to go back to something. Yeah. The girl called about medication, why she couldn't have an orgasm. Yeah, yeah. But there's a lot of medications that can do that.
22:33
Drew
Oh, absolutely.
22:34
Goo Goo Dolls
Like a lot of anti-depression.
22:35
Drew
The serotonin reuptake inhibitor is just classic. Typically do that. Yeah. They will cause suppression of the orgasm function and decrease libido and can shut you down completely. So it's the Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Selectzoloft.
22:48
Goo Goo Dolls
Which is the worst?
22:51
Adam
It affects different people different ways, right?
22:52
Drew
It is different people. But what typically would be the worst?
22:56
Goo Goo Dolls
Because guys love that. There's all kinds of guys on Zoloft.
23:00
Drew
Yeah, Zoloft and Prozac are probably the worst.
23:02
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, because you get the porn star side effect.
23:04
Drew
But it actually is a treatment for delayed ejaculation.
23:06
Goo Goo Dolls
Is it really?
23:07
Drew
I mean for premature ejaculation.
23:09
Adam
I can achieve the same effect from just a simple aspirin, but I have to ram it up my urethra. It's not an emotional thing. It physically blocks the sperm from coming out.
23:17
Drew
That's good. It has a real novelty maneuver to it.
23:21
Goo Goo Dolls
What about can women take Viagra? That's why I don't like the kid in the room. These girls were on tour with us and we were in El Paso and they went over to Juarez and stocked up on the Viagra and brought it over with them.
23:34
Adam
Did you try any of it?
23:35
Goo Goo Dolls
I didn't take any of it, but they said that they were going to take a bunch of Viagra and eat some Ecstasy and go out and get laid. I was like have fun.
23:46
Adam
Were these the Dixie chicks?
23:48
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes, it was.
23:50
Drew
I mean, that can, the god knows what kind of damaging effect that could be.
23:54
Adam
But, Drew, Viagra does work on women to some degree, right?
23:57
Drew
In ways that are not well understood.
23:59
Adam
But here's the thing also about women is their mind is so connected to the vagina emotionally that if you gave, if you took a vitamin C, painted it blue and handed it to a chick and said this is Viagra, this is going to make you hot and horny and she popped it in her mouth, 75% of women would say yeah, I could feel the difference. Do you know what I mean?
24:19
Drew
Really what makes women appreciate or understand more what men go through is giving them testosterone. Then they're like, oh my God, this is what you guys deal with? They can't believe it.
24:28
Goo Goo Dolls
You can actually give.
24:30
Drew
Well, you shouldn't, but women that do need it for various reasons, like women that are having transsexual kinds of transgamen.
24:36
Adam
Those are men. Those are screwed up men. Don't validate them by actually calling them women.
24:42
Goo Goo Dolls
Even when you get a sex change, though, you can't have an orgasm anymore. When they take the penis and get rid of it.
24:48
Drew
It should be more difficult, I would think.
24:51
Adam
You cannot do it. I don't know. You get a new vagina, but it's just sort of for looks. It doesn't really work.
24:56
Goo Goo Dolls
That's nuts.
24:58
Adam
Nicole?
24:59
Hi. I just wanted to say hi to you.
25:01
Adam
You know what your vagina is, Hole? You ever go to Ikea and you go to the workstation where they're selling the computer desk and stuff, and there's a Styrofoam computer on there and like a paper mache fax machine? That's what the transsexual vagina is. It looks pretty good when you're walking by like at Ikea, but if you go shake it a little bit, you realize it's hollow.
25:22
Drew
You try to log on.
25:25
Caller
It's a cleverly disguised version.
25:27
Adam
Hey, Nicole?
25:29
Goo Goo Dolls
Adam, you are one sick freak and I love you.
25:31
Adam
You want to say hi to the Goo Goo Dolls?
25:32
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. My friends and I love you guys.
25:34
You are so awesome. I never thought anybody could have so much talent and make so many different sounds. I was listening to your Dizzy Up The Girl CD today and it's like amazing that all these songs are the same group.
25:46
Goo Goo Dolls
Oh, cool.
25:46
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks.
25:47
Adam
Triple platinum.
25:49
Yeah, all my friends love the CD.
25:51
Goo Goo Dolls
It's great.
25:52
But we were kind of having a miniature fight over what Black Balloon was about and I was wondering if you could clear that up for us. We all had different opinions.
26:00
Goo Goo Dolls
That song is about a friend of ours who got really screwed up on drugs and none of us even thought that one.
26:09
We were all thinking like death and stuff like that.
26:11
Drew
Well, that's Black Balloon.
26:12
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. I mean, it was just sort of, I guess it was, I don't know what you'd call it, a metaphor for Well, heroin balloons you're talking about, right? Yeah.
26:19
Drew
And just a metaphor for what that does to people. Black is an appropriate color.
26:23
Goo Goo Dolls
I mean, it was just, it was really sad to see the whole thing happen, you know, and, and, and I was more concerned, not, not even, I was concerned about what was going on with that person, but, but the rippling effect that it caused.
26:36
Drew
In other people's lives.
26:37
Goo Goo Dolls
Everybody around the person was affected by it.
26:40
Adam
Did the person die?
26:41
Goo Goo Dolls
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She actually got, like got clean and, and finished school and, and is a registered nurse and is a drug counselor too.
26:52
Adam
Hey, Nicole, thanks for the question. We gotta take a break. We're running late. All right.
26:56
All right.
26:56
Adam
Love you guys.
26:57
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks.
26:58
See ya.
26:58
Adam
Loving you. All right. The Goo Goo Dolls are here. We're going to hear something. Actually, we'll hear their new single when we come back and more you, more Drew, more them after this.
27:12
We'll be right back with more.
27:48
Adam
It is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew. Safe Airs will be in here tomorrow night, and Larry Flint is going to be in here.
27:58
Drew
Sunday.
27:58
Adam
Sunday, and then Everclear is going to be in here next week, and Robbie Gordon, I'm guessing the race car driver is going to be in here. Johnny and Mike are both here from The Goo Goo Dolls tonight. We will hear something, not off of Dizzy Up The Girl, but a new single, right?
28:16
Goo Goo Dolls
No, it's on Dizzy Up The Girl. Oh, it is?
28:18
Adam
Jesus Christ, you're still releasing the singles off of this?
28:22
Goo Goo Dolls
We're trying to buy time so we can write another record, just milking it.
28:28
Adam
I thought Broadway was just a single that you guys were going to release. Does anyone ever do that, or do I just think people do that?
28:36
Goo Goo Dolls
I think that's happening more now, because all the boy bands, I think.
28:40
Adam
Let's say you got now, Dizzy Up The Girl's been out for a little while.
28:44
Goo Goo Dolls
Two and a half years.
28:45
Adam
And you're not coming out in another one for a little bit. So it's like in between, you throw them a bone or something. That's what I thought was going on.
28:53
Goo Goo Dolls
We were thinking about doing something like an EP or something like that, but you know.
28:56
Adam
How did this come out?
28:57
Goo Goo Dolls
It's just kind of, it's weird to try and write like that.
29:00
Adam
Well and also if you come out.
29:01
Goo Goo Dolls
126 weeks ago it came out.
29:03
Caller
It wasn't that long ago. Somebody said that and that's wrong.
29:06
Goo Goo Dolls
126 weeks ago.
29:07
Caller
Came out in September of 98.
29:08
Goo Goo Dolls
Whatever.
29:09
Adam
All right.
29:10
Caller
Hasn't even been two years.
29:11
Adam
The point is, is triple platinum everyone and going for whatever the name is for four-pole platinum.
29:17
Goo Goo Dolls
Four-pole.
29:19
Adam
Going for four-pole. What do you get? What's the next one?
29:24
Drew
Quadruple?
29:25
Adam
No, I know it goes to quadruple, but eventually doesn't it get to something? I mean when you sell like 10?
29:30
Drew
Another level?
29:31
Caller
Because of 10 million, it's called diamond.
29:32
Drew
You're going back to your bra size analogies.
29:36
Adam
Right. There's not a double D platinum or something like that.
29:40
Goo Goo Dolls
Nice rack.
29:42
Drew
Are we seeing the song now? No.
29:44
Adam
All right. You want to talk to somebody? Yeah, sure.
29:46
Drew
You want to hear the song?
29:47
Adam
All right. We'll talk to someone, then we'll hear Broadway, and then we'll get back to the phones. Michelle?
29:53
Caller
Yeah.
29:54
Adam
What's up?
29:54
Goo Goo Dolls
Hi.
29:55
Caller
Actually, some friends of mine were talking, and I had a quick question for you. Actually, it's probably more for Dr. Drew, but we had heard that the Western blot can tell you if you have the antibodies for the herpes virus.
30:09
Drew
Yeah, but it's a very poor test.
30:10
Caller
Okay.
30:11
Drew
Everybody has it. Let's put it that way.
30:12
Goo Goo Dolls
Everybody has that?
30:13
Drew
Yeah.
30:14
Caller
So if you know that you already have oral herpes, it can't tell you if you have genital or not.
30:17
Drew
That's correct. But there is one out now that can.
30:20
Caller
Oh, really?
30:20
Drew
It's not a Western blot.
30:21
Caller
Well, what is it?
30:23
Drew
It's a HSV-2. It's called a Protect or something.
30:27
Adam
Where do you get it?
30:29
Drew
The doctor should be able to order it for you.
30:31
Oh, really?
30:32
Drew
Yeah.
30:32
Okay.
30:33
Adam
All right. Drew, I've said this many times. Can't we train dogs to sniff out things like this? I mean, seriously, people think I'm a maniac, but a dog can sniff a joint that has been rolled in coffee grounds and welded into the fender of a truck as it's coming over the border. A dog can sniff out minute traces of gunpowder and explosives at the airport that's been, you know, in packing crates. They can teach these dogs to sniff anything, and it's not the substance. I mean, they can teach them anything. It's real easy. They do it with just dogs from the pound. It's really, it's diabolically simple. You know what they do? They find really enthusiastic dogs at the pound, and they take a rolled up towel with like rubber bands around it, like a washcloth type towel, and they get the dog hooked on this towel, and then they start hiding this towel in where the coke is, where the pot is, where the explosives are, and the dog thinks it's looking for its rolled up towel. It doesn't think it's looking for weed or whatever. It just associates that smell for its towel, and then it goes to the airport, and when it does find the coke, they immediately toss it the towel so they don't get suspicious. One day, I'm going to tell these dogs they're shills for the man. They're not actually looking for their towel, but they're busting hippies and heroin mules that are coming in from across the border, but the point is these dogs can sniff anything, and everything has a scent, like a vaginal disease or herpes or whatever. Everything's got its own funk to it, and you say that they cannot see these things, Drew, that they can't make a diagnosis, but the dog could sniff it out. Why can't we use this? A lot of women, I've been planning this for years, a lot of women, they don't want to go to the gynecologist, they want to take their panties off and get up in the stirrups and have some crazy looking Asian guy go halfway up them with his right arm, but the dog could just give them a sniff in the waiting room and tell them whether they had some funk down there, some problem down there. They can even smell cancer. They're training these dogs now to smell skin cancer.
32:44
Goo Goo Dolls
They can do that?
32:45
Adam
Yeah, yeah, they can, they can, they can smell.
32:47
Goo Goo Dolls
They can train a dog to smell cancer.
32:48
Adam
Yeah, because everything's got its own, its own smell. But you know the thing that's always funny is people say, well dogs, their sense of smell is like 3,000 times greater than human beings. Why they bury their nose in the S, right in the crap.
33:02
Caller
And they just dig it, I know it's buried.
33:03
Adam
They dig it, and the thing that's-
33:04
Drew
No, it's become all over the other side, it's like rainbows and wonderful things that they see we can't smell.
33:09
Adam
Maybe that's it, because I'm, you know, being eight feet away from some fresh duke at the park is enough to make me want to sit down, you know.
33:18
Drew
They've got to go all the way to the side.
33:19
Adam
Three thousand times greater or fifteen hundred times whatever it is and their face is buried in the other dog's ass, buried.
33:26
Goo Goo Dolls
I think there's a lot of information going on there that we don't know about. That's how they size each other up.
33:31
Drew
I think how it's experienced by them, that's luscious, wonderful.
33:35
Goo Goo Dolls
I think that's how they like determine whether they like each other or not. They give the butt a sniff and then they decide if they're going to be friends.
33:40
Adam
That much greater with the scent and you've got to bury your nose in the other dog's ass? You couldn't be four or five feet away?
33:47
Caller
That's a bit confusing. What are they going to find from that much closer that they couldn't find from ten feet away?
33:51
Adam
Especially with that. It would be like you taking a telescoping lens and then pressing it right up against a chick's boob so you could actually see microorganisms on the breast. It's like, too much. Stand back and enjoy. That's what I say to the dogs. All right. The Goo Goo Dolls are here. We're going to hear something else from off of Dizzy Up the Girl, Triple Platinum. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. By the way, the Man Show is on right now. I just realized. 10.30, Comedy Central. We will listen to this new single and it is called Broadway.
38:19
Goo Goo Dolls
I love that, when the applause comes in, these sound effects are... When did you guys start doing that?
38:24
Adam
Oh, engineer Anderson.
38:25
Goo Goo Dolls
Is that a recent addition to the show, the sound effects?
38:28
Adam
Yeah. Well, they've always been floating around, but Anderson is really breathing new life into that.
38:32
Goo Goo Dolls
You're like really concentrating it.
38:33
Adam
Yeah, I don't even have to talk anymore, really. Most of this is just... I have different words on different carts, and he'll put together a sentence for me while I'm taking a leak.
38:42
Goo Goo Dolls
What's your best one, though?
38:43
Adam
And then, bang me in the ass. All right.
38:45
Goo Goo Dolls
What's the best nice?
38:46
Drew
David Allen Grier Vomiting.
38:47
Adam
Yeah, do you have that? David Allen Grier Vomiting.
38:51
Goo Goo Dolls
Wow.
38:53
Caller
Just instant, too, as soon as you name it, it just comes out with it.
38:56
Adam
Yeah, that is a strong effect. All right, let's see if we can swing into one quick call before we go to break. Puck, you're 15.
39:04
Caller
Yes.
39:04
Adam
You make your girlfriend masturbate over the phone?
39:07
Caller
No, they don't even have to be girlfriends. They can be like close friends of mine. And like I'm a virgin, right? And I can use that to get me up. Just hearing them masturbate over the phone. Like I just got back from DC and I met a friend of my cousin over the phone. And already I'm trying to get this shit to be debate. And I'm only noticing it's like Saturday or Sunday.
39:30
Adam
Fantastic. You make a wonderful father and husband one day.
39:33
Drew
On one hand, it makes it sound like I understand this. They all seem to gravitate in this direction. And we just hear about the new contact. And it's like forcing her into it, working her.
39:40
Goo Goo Dolls
No, no, I'm like, well, I don't know.
39:43
Caller
You could maybe say that.
39:44
Caller
And like, I've gotten like three girls to do it.
39:47
Adam
How do you do? Give me some technique real quick.
39:49
Caller
All I do is ask them to do it. And I can use like...
39:52
Adam
Oh, you don't just go start masturbating. You do...
39:54
No, no, I use the voice to do it.
39:55
Caller
Like I'll talk them into it.
39:56
Adam
Yeah, go ahead. Try to talk me into it. Cause by the way...
39:59
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, talk us into it.
40:01
Adam
I'm easy.
40:02
Goo Goo Dolls
Just like bust down in a circle chair.
40:03
Adam
I usually masturbate about this time anyway. But if you want to kind of get me going...
40:06
Caller
I'm going to talk a guy in a masturbate. It only works with chicks.
40:09
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, there's a girl in here, so talk to her.
40:11
Adam
That's right. I have a girl in my pants.
40:13
Shut up. Now he's pissed.
40:16
Adam
Buck, are you 15 years old?
40:18
Yeah, I am.
40:19
Adam
Oh my God. Listen, drop out of school right now. You're officially a man. You're wasting your time in school. Get a job down in the docks. Get a nice pea coat. Put a night watchman's cap on. Start smoking unfiltered cigarettes. Hang around.
40:34
Caller
I've done that, actually. I've smoked a couple of them.
40:37
Adam
All right. Listen, Puck, don't grow up so fast, would you? Relax. You're 15. You're 15. Slow down.
40:43
Caller
It's like that can get, I mean, I'm-
40:45
Adam
All right. Shut up. Jesus Christ. He just, that was one of those, once in a while we get a call to the show which is, here's my problem. My penis is so big, I can't ride a bicycle. What do I do? And it's like-
40:57
Goo Goo Dolls
Those are bad.
40:58
Adam
That's just, I'm 15, I can get chicks to masturbate. I don't know what the question was.
41:03
Caller
Well explain this one to me. I knew a guy, this was actually pretty recently, got a phone call in the middle of the night. It turned out it was a wrong number. It was a woman called. He somehow kept her on the phone for about 20 minutes and a couple days later a package showed up with nude pictures of her and everything. Now how did the guy accomplish that one?
41:19
Adam
Wow.
41:19
Goo Goo Dolls
That's a fluke.
41:20
Adam
Yeah.
41:20
Caller
How does that happen?
41:21
Goo Goo Dolls
I got a phone call that was a wrong number and this woman started talking to me on the phone and said, I'm coming down to Los Angeles.
41:27
Drew
People are looking for a contact.
41:28
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. I'm coming down to Los Angeles with a friend of mine and it was this guy's phone number and then she started talking to me and then she's like wanted to change my number.
41:36
Adam
Anyone who calls you at 3.30 in the morning is drunk though and so if your game, they're loaded and you can work your magic.
41:43
Caller
When she mailed the package, you assume it was the next day and maybe she'd sobered up a little bit.
41:47
Adam
Well, that's true too, but she could have been like on a two-day bender or something.
41:51
Goo Goo Dolls
Maybe she's just nuts.
41:52
Adam
We're going to take a quick break. Goo Goo Dolls are here. We'll come back, talk to more screwed up teenagers after this.
41:58
Goo Goo Dolls
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.
42:01
Adam
Well, it's worth hearing. Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Mike and Johnny are both here from The Goo Goo Dolls.
42:44
Goo Goo Dolls
That's us.
42:44
Adam
I do want to dizzy up the girls, the name of this CD. Man Show's on right now, and I do want to give another quick plug for Andy Dick, because I told him I would today, because he's helped me out with something. Him and the Bitches of the Century. You guys got some competition. Andy's put a band together. It's going to be at the Mint. It's Peacock Crescent Heights, Sunday Nights, 8 o'clock.
43:07
Drew
What's he doing for you?
43:09
Adam
We're just giving to do a walk on an unfortunate name segment. We're working on.
43:15
Caller
Leave at this point.
43:16
Adam
Dana? Dana?
43:19
Yeah.
43:19
Adam
You're 19?
43:20
Caller
Hi.
43:21
Adam
Hey, what's up?
43:22
Caller
Nothing.
43:24
Caller
I'm wondering about a question.
43:26
Caller
I have a tattoo and it's on my breast, and I was very dumb when I got it. But I want to get it removed.
43:34
Drew
Right.
43:34
Caller
Now, I want to know what are the chances that actually could get cancer from actually getting the tattoo?
43:42
Drew
Have you ever heard of that causing cancer?
43:45
Caller
Very rare.
43:46
Drew
You've heard of it causing cancer? Yeah.
43:48
Goo Goo Dolls
Getting a tattoo or getting it taken off?
43:50
Drew
Both.
43:51
Adam
No.
43:51
Goo Goo Dolls
But I want to get it off.
43:53
Drew
Where have you heard that?
43:54
Adam
Where have you heard someone got cancer from a tattoo?
43:56
Drew
Think of all the tattoos there are and think how common breast cancer is. There will be a headline.
44:00
Caller
My mom works at a hospital.
44:02
Adam
Your mom does? Yeah, but she just told you that because she wants you to get rid of the comedy and tragedy mask you had put on your right boob.
44:10
Caller
I was the one who mentioned that I want to get it removed.
44:13
Adam
I see. And what is it of?
44:15
Caller
It's a butterfly.
44:16
Adam
Nice. And that's all class, by the way. And how much on the boob is it?
44:22
Caller
It's just on the very top. It's kind of, it's just in that area.
44:27
Adam
I see. And why do you want to get it removed now?
44:29
Caller
Just because now I'm wearing more business type clothes, and if I have to wear something a little...
44:35
Goo Goo Dolls
Plunging necklines and stuff like that.
44:37
Caller
Right. Something a little lower, and it shows it's, it's...
44:41
Caller
Not very business like at all.
44:43
Adam
Yeah, but how business is it to be parading your rack around the office?
44:48
Caller
Clancy.
44:49
Adam
Well, I know, but it's strange that you're worried about wearing business attire and showing off your boobs at the same time, isn't it?
44:56
Caller
Well, I'm very sensitive about my chest area, so...
44:59
Adam
Okay. Why? Are they big?
45:01
Caller
No. They're very thin.
45:02
Adam
All right. We gotta go. Drew, they can have it removed with a laser now, right?
45:07
Drew
No problem.
45:08
Goo Goo Dolls
Can I tell you about that? I did that. Because I had a really bad tattoo. So I was like...
45:13
Adam
On the boob?
45:14
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. Right on my boob. No, I was on my leg. And I wanted to get it taken off. So I went to the dermatologist, and they had the laser thing, and it felt like I was being started on fire and electrocuted at the same time. That's exactly what it was like. And I told them to stop about that fast. And it was way worse getting it taken off than it was going to be put on. So I just had it covered up.
45:38
Adam
Yeah. Well, how'd you have it covered up?
45:40
Goo Goo Dolls
I had it covered up with this.
45:41
Adam
You had it turned into something?
45:43
Goo Goo Dolls
Now, this is a tattoo.
45:44
Drew
You know, they now have... Did you try Emla Cream?
45:47
Goo Goo Dolls
Uh-huh.
45:48
Adam
Oh, it's a big question mark. Wait, there's a guy underneath it holding it up.
45:51
Goo Goo Dolls
A snake kind of holding it up.
45:54
Adam
Before, the guy was holding up an exclamation point, but now... No, what was it?
45:58
Goo Goo Dolls
What was it originally?
46:00
Drew
A snake.
46:00
Goo Goo Dolls
No, it was just really badly done congee.
46:04
Adam
You did it in prison?
46:05
Goo Goo Dolls
I did it when I was in the pokey.
46:07
Adam
And no, you weren't.
46:09
Caller
No, I wasn't.
46:11
Adam
But it was too painful to have removed, huh?
46:13
Goo Goo Dolls
It was unbelievably painful.
46:15
Drew
What about...
46:15
Goo Goo Dolls
I got food in my mouth.
46:17
Drew
What about Emla Cream or lidocaine ointments?
46:19
Goo Goo Dolls
No, he gave me some stuff to numb it out and it didn't do anything. But you know, Cher had all her tattoos removed. I asked her about that once.
46:25
Drew
Yeah, it's usually pretty easy to do and they can numb it up.
46:28
Goo Goo Dolls
I mean, the thing that he did... You know, you ever see those, like, stampers that with the little thing that spins around, says the date on it or something like that? That's what this thing looked like. And man, did it hurt. Just burning hair off and just...
46:41
Caller
Just tried to suck the ink out of your leg.
46:42
Goo Goo Dolls
It was horrible.
46:43
Adam
Was this a buffalo tattoo?
46:45
Goo Goo Dolls
No, it was actually done here. I was like...
46:47
Adam
Was it a buffalo laser?
46:49
Goo Goo Dolls
No. What's wrong with... Listen, nothing wrong with the lasers in Buffalo town.
46:53
Adam
I'm just saying, we... Dr. Bruce, who fills in for Dr. Drew, operates one of these lasers to take off gang markings in prisons for guys. And they don't complain, although these guys have been shot in the neck and stuff. So they have a slightly higher threshold to pain.
47:09
Goo Goo Dolls
But it was my leg. I mean, how much pain, you know, do you feel in your leg?
47:11
Adam
It shouldn't have been that bad.
47:13
Drew
You know what kind of laser it was?
47:14
Goo Goo Dolls
No. No, I don't know what it was.
47:16
Drew
I wonder if you had the right equipment.
47:17
Adam
Yeah, I bet if you went to a guy in Beverly Hills with the state of the art junk.
47:22
Goo Goo Dolls
That's where this guy was. Really?
47:23
Adam
Yeah. Stop cramping on my story.
47:26
Goo Goo Dolls
I'm not cramping on your story. Maybe I just went to the wrong guy.
47:28
Adam
Wow.
47:29
Goo Goo Dolls
There's all kinds of quacks in Beverly Hills.
47:31
Adam
Well, who did Cher have remove hers?
47:33
Goo Goo Dolls
I don't know. I didn't ask.
47:34
Adam
That's what you should have brought up.
47:36
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, I didn't have anything to say to her. And we were in a room with her. And I said, so I read that you're getting all your tattoos taken off. And she was like, yeah, I was just looking at your tattoo. And then I was like, that's my share impersonation.
47:47
Adam
Yeah, it was good.
47:49
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks, honey. And then she said to me, honey, I got tattoos that are older than you. But I was like, I bet you do.
47:57
That's very funny.
47:59
Adam
But she has an accordion on her boob. And she can actually make it work. All right. We're going to take another quick break. But Jared?
48:10
Caller
Yeah.
48:11
Adam
Jared, 16, every time you get close to someone, you steal something from them?
48:15
Caller
I do something to mess up the relationship. Something dumb.
48:19
Adam
Okay. All right. Hold on a second there, Jared.
48:21
Caller
All right.
48:22
Adam
Jared is 16. It sounds like a merchant marine who's been around the world 700 times.
48:28
Caller
All right.
48:28
Adam
We're going to take a little break. Goo Goo Dolls are our guests. And we'll be back after this.
48:34
Caller
GIO.
49:09
Adam
All right, we got to take a quick 10-second timeout for a little affiliate station identification. We'll be back with more of the show in just 10 seconds.
49:18
Caller
This is Loveline on Radio Station.
49:35
Adam
There we go. It's Loveline and Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Johnny and Mike are both here from The Goo Goo Dolls. Dizzy Up the Girls, the name of the CD, and Save Fairs tomorrow night, Larry Flint. Next week, Robbie Gordon, race car driver and Everclear is going to be in here.
49:53
Goo Goo Dolls
You guys still on TV all the time?
49:54
Adam
Yes.
49:55
Goo Goo Dolls
I don't got the cable. I don't got the MTV. You guys are on the MTV still?
50:00
Adam
Almost possible.
50:01
Goo Goo Dolls
How many days a week do you do? I want to know how you guys do all this stuff that you do. You get up every morning and go to work.
50:07
Adam
What's a Drew Day?
50:08
Drew
Give us a quick Drew Day. Get up, make me his breakfast, take him to school, go to the hospital, go to my office, go to drdrew.com for a couple of hours, go to the Psychiatric Hospital, visit your wife, and then go home, eat dinner with the kids, and then come over here, and then go home and start the whole thing over at 6.30 in the morning.
50:29
Goo Goo Dolls
Now, how often do you got to shoot the thing for MTV?
50:31
Drew
In the fall, we do like two days a week. We'll shoot 60 in eight weeks, ten weeks.
50:36
Goo Goo Dolls
60 shows in eight weeks?
50:38
Adam
No, 60. We'll shoot like 100, or 75.
50:41
Drew
We did 60 this year, right?
50:41
Adam
We did 75.
50:42
Goo Goo Dolls
It's amazing, because you guys don't seem burnt out at all.
50:45
Adam
Oh, yeah.
50:45
Goo Goo Dolls
And the amount of this that you guys do. Well, you're hiding it really good.
50:50
Adam
Thank you. No, we really, I go work on the Man Show all day, just sit in the office, or film something, or whatever.
50:57
Goo Goo Dolls
Every day.
50:58
Adam
Every day, and then either I go through until about 9.30 and come here, or if I'm lucky, I get out of there about 7.30, go home, take a little nap, eat something, and come over here, leave my house about 9.15. But we really enjoy this. I mean, we really think it's important, and I know I belly ache and moan every night when I come in here tired from a long day. But we really, I mean, financially, I don't have to do this show. Drew doesn't either, although he's a real penny pincher, and he's always chasing the dime. But the point is, I just slipped that in.
51:33
Drew
And you're literally a millionaire.
51:34
Adam
I'm a millionaire, yes, literally a millionaire. Thank you.
51:36
Goo Goo Dolls
You're really a millionaire.
51:37
Adam
I'm a millionaire, yes.
51:38
Goo Goo Dolls
Cool, well, are you a millionaire, too?
51:40
Adam
Yeah, true is, too, come on. The point is, money-wise, neither one of us has to do this show. And we both work all day, every day, and weekends, too, most of the time. But the point is, where else do you get to do this?
51:54
Goo Goo Dolls
Right, exactly.
51:55
Adam
And the immediacy of it is really interesting to me. I mean, meaning, if I'm talking and I'm not going to plug it again, but if I'm talking to Andy Dick this afternoon and he says, yeah, I'll help you out, could you do me a favor and plug this appearance at The Mint, then I can go on that evening and do it. Or if I'd remembered to bring in the tape of Jesse Ventura talking about The Man Show and how it was the greatest show on television, we could have heard that tonight. But I'll bring it in tomorrow night.
52:24
Drew
It's a continued relationship with a group of people that we enjoy connecting with.
52:29
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, it's an important thing. The most important thing is that you saved the world from Ricky Rachman.
52:34
Adam
Yes, we did.
52:35
Goo Goo Dolls
That is important. That's the most important thing.
52:37
Adam
One screwed up teen at a time. Jared?
52:40
Caller
Yeah.
52:40
Adam
You're 16.
52:41
Caller
Yeah.
52:42
Adam
What's up?
52:42
Drew
We keep sabotaging relationships, Jared does.
52:44
Adam
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You steal things from women.
52:48
Caller
No.
52:48
Adam
What?
52:49
Caller
Not from women. It's just from anybody that I get close to.
52:56
Adam
Even if it's a buddy?
52:59
Caller
No. Not if it's like a friend or something. But it's like one lady that I was living with. I don't know.
53:06
Adam
Living with?
53:07
Drew
You're 16.
53:08
Adam
You're 16 years old.
53:09
Caller
Yeah.
53:11
Drew
You're out on your own now?
53:13
Adam
How many chicks are you crashing out with at 16?
53:16
Caller
No. I used to live with a friend of mine.
53:19
Adam
I see. What's going on? What went on in your home life that got you out of the home so early?
53:25
Caller
Well, my dad, he was real abusive.
53:28
Adam
Right.
53:29
Caller
I was always getting beat with like 2x4s and all kinds of other things.
53:32
Adam
2x4s.
53:33
Drew
So you got out of there?
53:34
Caller
Huh?
53:35
Drew
So you got out of there?
53:36
Caller
Yeah. I left as soon as I could.
53:40
Adam
Jared?
53:41
Caller
Yeah.
53:41
Adam
Yeah. Well, this is where all this is coming from.
53:43
Drew
Right. You understand how painful it would be, how painful close relationships are to you. It conjures up the feelings of the dad that was so violating.
53:52
Goo Goo Dolls
Is that why you would steal stuff like that? I mean, is that to have control or what?
53:57
Drew
It's so we can't get close. So when something starts evolving, you go with it.
54:00
Adam
Sort of sabotage as soon as he gets it. I mean, here's the syndrome. Your relationships with your parents get destroyed at early age and then when you start having relationships with people, you sabotage it later on in life because you don't want that loss. Yeah. You pre-sabotage the relationship.
54:16
Goo Goo Dolls
But it's amazing when you do things like that and you don't even realize it.
54:20
Drew
Or when you realize it, you can't stop.
54:21
Adam
Oh, no.
54:22
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, yeah. When it becomes like a compulsion or something like that.
54:24
Adam
Hey, Jared?
54:25
Caller
Yeah.
54:25
Adam
Do you think you could keep an eye on yourself and understand when you're doing this and when the feeling is hitting you?
54:31
Caller
I know when I'm doing it, but it's like I can still do it. Right.
54:35
Adam
All right. So you got to get a little therapy. You got to read a book. You got to go for some walks and stop smoking so much weed. Can you do that?
54:42
Caller
Yeah. And I got one more question.
54:43
Drew
And of course, the person he would not do that with would be one that he'd been in a sort of abusive cycle with.
54:48
Adam
Right.
54:49
Drew
Because that's how he experiences himself.
54:51
Adam
What's your other question, Jared?
54:53
Caller
Whenever I'm not stoned, I'm a dick.
54:55
Drew
I'm like...
54:58
Caller
It's like if I'm not stoned, I'm just in like a really bad mood.
55:02
Drew
He's just a dick.
55:03
Adam
Drew, please.
55:04
Goo Goo Dolls
Isn't it... Wouldn't that happen to you? I'm like talking too much.
55:08
Drew
No, go ahead.
55:09
Goo Goo Dolls
But wouldn't that sort of be like a withdrawal thing? Like everybody says that Potts not addictive, and I think that's crap because I know people who are complete stoners and I've known them for years, and I can tell when they're not high, but I can't tell when they're high anymore.
55:20
Drew
Oh no, it's profoundly addictive for some people.
55:22
Adam
They're irritated when they're not high.
55:23
Drew
But yeah, when you get off the drug, irritability is both a withdrawal syndrome and a feature of the chronic exposure to the drug, and it may be whatever is underlying that he's been trying to manage with the pod too.
55:33
Adam
Alright, so MA, read a book and long walks. I think MA would be a good place for him to start though.
55:39
Drew
Oh yeah.
55:40
Goo Goo Dolls
They could teach you how to be nice when you're straight.
55:43
Drew
Yeah, you can't do anything to you're off drugs. That's where it starts.
55:46
Adam
John? John?
55:47
Yes.
55:48
Adam
You're 26, what's up?
55:49
Caller
I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself before I start.
55:52
Adam
Alright.
55:53
Caller
I called up a couple times, right?
55:55
Adam
Yeah.
55:56
Caller
And I tried telling my story, but no one listened. They kept on telling me there was long lines open.
56:01
Adam
I see.
56:01
Caller
Shut up!
56:03
Adam
Go ahead.
56:03
Caller
Yeah.
56:04
Adam
Well, now's your chance.
56:05
Caller
Well, I made up the story. I wanted to tell Dr. Drew, thank you for helping me get to therapy. Because I heard this guy was on the radio, and he was having delusions of grandeur or whatever.
56:15
Drew
Right.
56:16
Caller
And I was having the same thing. I even took a 16-penny nail and drove it in my hand into a 2x4.
56:23
Adam
Was that a common head or a vinyl coated sinker?
56:26
Caller
It was a vinyl coated sinker.
56:27
Adam
Well, that's no big deal. If Jesus had had those vinyl sinkers, he'd still be around. There's a big difference between the vinyl coated sinkers and the...
56:38
Caller
Because that guy was telling... Drew was telling him to go to therapy, and I went to therapy, and now I'm better. I'm getting better.
56:45
Adam
Oh, yeah. Getting better.
56:46
Caller
Every day of the week, I take Zyprexa.
56:48
Drew
Oh, good.
56:48
Caller
You know about that drug, Dr. Drew?
56:50
Drew
Oh, that's a good drug, olanzapine.
56:51
Caller
And I took clonapin to go to sleep. And I take Tegertal.
56:56
Drew
So, you're bipolar, huh?
56:58
Caller
I'm bipolar, and I'm paranoid schizophrenic.
57:00
Adam
And where'd you drive this 16-penny nail into?
57:03
Caller
I threw my hand into a 2x4 on Good Friday, thinking I had to die like Jesus.
57:08
Adam
Really? Really?
57:08
Caller
Yeah.
57:09
Adam
And now with the treatment and medication, you're down to 8-penny nails, right?
57:12
Caller
I'm down to barely any.
57:14
Adam
God willing, soon you'll be down to Brad nails or pin guns.
57:17
Caller
Staple gun.
57:18
Adam
Staple gun.
57:18
Caller
Thumbtack.
57:19
Adam
Hot glue.
57:20
Drew
Hot glue.
57:20
Caller
I want to know that therapy works.
57:23
Drew
All right, John, I appreciate the call.
57:24
Caller
And you helped me, Dr. Drew.
57:26
Adam
He couldn't be happier.
57:27
Drew
I'm glad you were.
57:27
Adam
Hey, John, seriously, take it easy on yourself, all right?
57:30
Caller
I'm going to do my best, Adam. I love you.
57:31
Adam
All right. I love you, brother.
57:33
Drew
Bye-bye.
57:34
Thank God for Dr. Drew.
57:36
Adam
It's too bad, more David Allen Grier, I think. It's too bad Jesus didn't die another way, because all these religious fanatics, they're out there recreating his death and it all involves nails through appendages, and that's a rough way to go.
57:50
Drew
At least it wasn't some sort of violent explosive or something.
57:52
Adam
I know, but if he'd just been, you know, someone taking a Roman and taking a caulking gun or something and stuck him up there, it'd just be a lot more humane, that's all I'm saying. He still would have died eventually, right? He didn't die from the nails. What size nails do you figure those were? Those were bigger than 16, right? Now, because I want to talk to Johnny about carpentry for a second. If the Romans were smart, they'd use what's called a duplex nail. That's a nail that has two heads on it used for forming, because when you're done, when the cements dried after you've poured it, like formed yourself like a grade beam or something, you've got to pull the nails out again, and you don't have to use a crowbar to dig them out of the wood, because there's two heads on them. They're called the duplex nail.
58:35
Goo Goo Dolls
That's a good one.
58:35
Adam
Ring shank is good too, because it really holds an arm in place. It's got a lot of bite, like a ring shank. That nail has rings on it, and it doesn't pull out that easily. Good carpenter will soak his nails in salt water, get a little corrosion on there, they get a lot more bite, they don't pop out quite as easily.
58:52
Goo Goo Dolls
See, my old grandmother used to take, she used to take soap. She would soap up a nail before she popped it into the wall.
58:57
Adam
Yeah, that'll sink a hell of a lot easier that way.
59:00
Goo Goo Dolls
Because she was 100 and she was crazy.
59:03
Adam
But it was really the forerunner to the vinyl coating. Bernadette?
59:08
Caller
Hi.
59:09
Adam
What did someone do to you with a 2x4?
59:11
Caller
Nothing.
59:12
Adam
Nothing, okay.
59:13
Caller
I'm attracted to dangerous guys, and I have a tendency to try and change them.
59:17
Drew
How many times have you done this?
59:19
Caller
Three or four.
59:21
Drew
What have the consequences been?
59:23
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, I guess we just broke up after a while.
59:27
Caller
Nothing really serious, but it gets worse and worse.
59:29
Goo Goo Dolls
It's getting worse and worse.
59:30
Drew
Give us the latest story.
59:32
Caller
There's this guy, like, he's a couple years older than me, and he drinks a lot, and when he's sober, he's really nice, but he's not sober more often than when he's more drunk than sober.
59:44
Adam
I see. And is he abusive?
59:46
Caller
He's not, well, not, he has a bad temper sometimes. He's not abusive to me.
59:52
Drew
How old is he?
59:53
Goo Goo Dolls
He's, like, 20.
59:54
Adam
Where's your dad?
59:55
Goo Goo Dolls
At home. Yeah.
59:57
Adam
Did he do anything bad to you?
59:59
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, he was kind of verbally abusive when I was younger.
1:00:03
Drew
When he drank?
1:00:04
Goo Goo Dolls
No. No, he, not, like, the other guys, they didn't drink. Some of them, like, one guy, he did a little bit of drugs, but.
1:00:11
Adam
Right.
1:00:12
Drew
Your dad did not drink?
1:00:14
Adam
What's, what is so dangerous about these guys, though? I mean, other than the guy drinks.
1:00:20
Goo Goo Dolls
I guess that's just about it. They, they appealed to me, I guess.
1:00:23
Drew
You're bad guys. Okay.
1:00:24
Adam
Yeah. Part of it is just a sort of a biological phenomenon that goes on with 17-year-old girls. I like a guy with a big question mark tattoo on his leg. A guy drinks a little rough around the edges. I mean, part of that's just basic 17-year-old biology, but it does cross a line at a certain point. It can get dangerous. These guys get drunk. They can get abusive. You know what you're doing, Bernadette. Why don't you just stop?
1:00:51
Drew
She hung up. She did?
1:00:53
Adam
He probably ripped the phone out of the wall. You know what I miss? I was watching The Partridge Family the other night. I come home about 1230, right when The Partridge Family starts up, and I saw the one where Lori gets hooked up with the tough biker guy. Snake.
1:01:09
Goo Goo Dolls
Rob Reiner.
1:01:12
Adam
Later on, she fell for Goose, I think, who turned out to be the guy who played Angel on the Rockford Fights. My dad looks like, sadly enough. But my dad's like an unattractive angel, if you could imagine that. But the point is, back in the day, a bad guy was just a good guy, he was misunderstood, and all he was is a big guy like Rob Reiner with sort of a crappy iron-on tattoo, and he didn't really know how to, like, you know, he'd get dressed up to go out to dinner, and he didn't quite know how to make his tie, he looked a little uncomfortable in the dinner jacket. But those were bad guys. Now it's like sodomy and physical and verbal abuse, you know, getting it, you know, putting roofies in the chicks and then videotaping them while his friends are banging them, you know, it's really, I like the old bad guys better.
1:02:05
Caller
Yeah, the TV Partridge family bad guys.
1:02:08
Adam
Partridge family, yeah, Rob Reiner bad.
1:02:10
Goo Goo Dolls
He said his dad taught him how to dance by throwing knives at his feet, and that was a great one, he only knew the box step, because his father used to throw knives at his feet. Now, can I ask you a question, doctor, because I'm really inquisitive about this kind of business, the sex and stuff. Why would a guy want to slip a girl a roofie? I mean, it's like having sex with a corpse.
1:02:33
Adam
But you're having sex.
1:02:34
Drew
See, these guys wouldn't have it any other way.
1:02:36
Goo Goo Dolls
That's the only way they're going to do it.
1:02:39
Adam
Yeah, but it's like-
1:02:39
Goo Goo Dolls
We've all been like an unresponsive female, and it's horrible.
1:02:43
Adam
Oh, yeah.
1:02:44
Drew
There are people that really don't like humans, and they don't even want to have to deal with the human part of this.
1:02:49
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, is it just because I'm getting older, or does it seem like there's just more of them?
1:02:53
Drew
More F'd up people? Yeah. Yeah.
1:02:55
Adam
Yeah.
1:02:55
Drew
There are.
1:02:56
Adam
And as you crawl from the ranks of the F'd up yourself, it's easy to look back in the F'd up pit and see how many of them there are. When you're just down in the mosh pit with them, you only see the few guys that are around you.
1:03:12
Caller
It's all just perception. Yeah.
1:03:13
Adam
It's definitely relative. The smarter, saner, and more together you get, and the further you get away from these people, the better. It's like you're in some sort of hot air balloon and you're rising up above them, and now they're as far as the eye can see.
1:03:25
Goo Goo Dolls
Right.
1:03:25
Caller
Now, I just think there are more crazy people now. It's as simple as that.
1:03:27
Goo Goo Dolls
But I mean, yeah, there is a certain lowest common denominator or whatever. I don't know. There is one mark where people are just screwed up.
1:03:37
Adam
Well, the thing is that they sort of perpetuate themselves because the more effed up people you have, the more effed up kids they're going to produce. Thus, the more...
1:03:44
Drew
And the system and the culture now supports them having lots of kids.
1:03:47
Adam
Right. Right. Nobody's...
1:03:49
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, I mean, there's less parenting going on.
1:03:51
Drew
Oh, yeah.
1:03:51
Goo Goo Dolls
And that's... I mean, I never thought I would really... I don't know. It just seems like that's a conservative line or whatever. But it's true.
1:03:59
Drew
It's just real.
1:03:59
Goo Goo Dolls
It's just true. It's true that if the kid's going to go out and join a gang, it doesn't have a dad to throw a ball around the backyard with.
1:04:06
Adam
Right.
1:04:06
Goo Goo Dolls
Because they're looking for a family.
1:04:07
Drew
I just did a webcast with Coolio at drdrew.com, and he said his girlfriend was a probation officer. And she said something to heat, say, with him, which was, hey, you see an effed up kid, take it home, you'll see an effed up family every time.
1:04:20
Adam
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Unless it's that billionaire boys club. Remember those guys?
1:04:26
Drew
They came from Effed Up Town.
1:04:27
Adam
Oh, yeah. Okay. But they're white.
1:04:28
Goo Goo Dolls
They just had money.
1:04:29
Adam
Come on. Michelle?
1:04:31
Caller
Yes.
1:04:31
Adam
And they're rich. Come on. Michelle?
1:04:33
Caller
Hi.
1:04:34
Adam
What's going on? You're 17.
1:04:35
Caller
Yes. My boyfriend moved away. We were going out for two years and he moved away last year, I think, and he moved back sometime early on this year. I have a feeling that him and my best friend are going behind my back.
1:04:53
Drew
Where does your best friend live?
1:04:54
Caller
My best friend lives actually in the same town as me. But he moved back and we all live in the same town.
1:05:00
Drew
Is he necessarily your boyfriend now? No.
1:05:06
Caller
He said that we should stay together and when he came back, we would get back together.
1:05:09
Drew
But he didn't.
1:05:10
Caller
But right now, he didn't make it official, so I have a feeling that he is sneaking around with my best friend.
1:05:17
Drew
How long was he out of town?
1:05:19
Caller
He was out of town for eight months.
1:05:22
Adam
What was he doing?
1:05:23
Caller
He went to live with his mother for a little while.
1:05:25
Drew
He didn't have contact with you during that eight months?
1:05:27
Caller
Yeah, we talked.
1:05:28
Drew
But he was not your boyfriend during that time?
1:05:30
Caller
No, we weren't going out.
1:05:31
Adam
But it doesn't sound like you're together now, right?
1:05:34
Caller
No, not right now.
1:05:36
Adam
So he's not really sneaking behind your back.
1:05:37
Drew
You guys are just seeing somebody else now.
1:05:39
Caller
When he moved back, he said we were going to get back together.
1:05:42
Drew
Yeah, but it didn't happen that way.
1:05:43
Caller
Right.
1:05:44
Adam
Here's how it went. You said, when you come back, are we going to get back together, please? He went, yeah. Right?
1:05:50
Caller
Right.
1:05:51
Adam
Right. He wants out of this relationship, Michelle.
1:05:54
Drew
No, he's out.
1:05:55
Adam
Oh, he's out. Yeah, sorry, Drew.
1:05:56
Caller
But I confronted both of them about it, and both of them are denying it.
1:05:59
Adam
Yeah. Well, that's what they're going to... Listen, when you confront people, they tend to deny. I mean, it's...
1:06:05
Caller
It's an act of self-preservation.
1:06:07
Adam
Yeah.
1:06:07
Goo Goo Dolls
It's like...
1:06:08
Adam
Especially when you're holding the sprinkler key.
1:06:09
Goo Goo Dolls
It's so much easier to lie.
1:06:11
Adam
It is.
1:06:12
Goo Goo Dolls
It is. I mean, it's not right, but it is easier.
1:06:14
Drew
They're afraid of, A, what Michelle's going to do to them, but what it's going to do to Michelle. She's clearly uptight about it.
1:06:19
Adam
Michelle, how old is this guy?
1:06:21
Caller
He's 18.
1:06:22
Adam
All right. Well, this relationship has run its course. It probably ran its course a few months back and maybe didn't know about it. And you guys are, you're moving on now.
1:06:31
Caller
Adam, I have a question. Can I ask the Google Dolls a question?
1:06:34
Adam
All right.
1:06:35
Goo Goo Dolls
Can I tell you something? I hate 18 year old guys. I hate them.
1:06:38
Adam
All right. So Michelle, you're done with this relationship, right?
1:06:41
Caller
Yes.
1:06:41
Adam
Okay.
1:06:42
Caller
Can I ask them a question?
1:06:43
Adam
Sure.
1:06:43
Goo Goo Dolls
Sure.
1:06:44
Caller
Johnny and Mike. Hi. I love you guys. And I saw you guys last month and I...
1:06:50
Goo Goo Dolls
Where?
1:06:51
Caller
95.5 PLJ.
1:06:52
Goo Goo Dolls
Oh, yeah. At Irving Plaza when none of the lights worked.
1:06:55
Caller
I love you guys.
1:06:56
Goo Goo Dolls
Where? In Irving Plaza in New York City. We did a radio show there and we had this huge extravaganza planned and nothing worked.
1:07:06
Caller
Oh, really?
1:07:07
Goo Goo Dolls
We had confetti cannons and all this stuff. The confetti fell out of the ceiling like someone dumped a bucket over it.
1:07:11
Caller
Right, exactly.
1:07:12
Caller
Yeah, it sort of worked.
1:07:13
Goo Goo Dolls
It didn't work.
1:07:14
Caller
It was a big sort of though. It was really embarrassing. The floor and this big pile.
1:07:17
Caller
Well, I have a question for you guys.
1:07:19
Caller
I gave the people that worked at WPLJ gifts for you and I wanted to know if you got them.
1:07:26
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, what was it?
1:07:26
Caller
I don't know. I bought you an Elmo watch. Uh-huh.
1:07:29
Adam
He's wearing it.
1:07:30
Goo Goo Dolls
No, it was confiscated by these people.
1:07:34
Caller
No, before the show, like the day before, I went to the actual studios and this woman named Carrie, she took the gift from me.
1:07:41
Goo Goo Dolls
You better call Carrie.
1:07:42
Caller
That's why Carrie was wearing that Elmo watch.
1:07:43
Goo Goo Dolls
I knew it was ours. It was something.
1:07:45
Adam
Hey, Michelle? Yes? They didn't get it.
1:07:47
Goo Goo Dolls
I didn't get it. Sorry.
1:07:48
Adam
But the fact that you told them that you gave it to them is gift enough.
1:07:51
Goo Goo Dolls
That's good enough. That's good enough because I probably wouldn't have taken it anyway, but that's okay. All right. No, I would have, but...
1:07:58
Caller
I got Robby an Elmo Pokemon clock.
1:08:00
Goo Goo Dolls
You did?
1:08:01
Caller
Because I know he loves him.
1:08:03
Goo Goo Dolls
How do you know Robby loves the Pokemon? It's the Internet. It's that pesky Internet.
1:08:07
Adam
Robby loves everything. Robby loves the Tokimon. He just doesn't know how to pronounce it. He thinks we're playing Tokimon.
1:08:16
Goo Goo Dolls
Tokimon.
1:08:18
Adam
That'd be a good name for a Rasta rapper guy. But thank you very much.
1:08:21
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks so much for the gift, and I'm sorry that we didn't get them.
1:08:26
Adam
All right. Well, Michelle, but like I said, now that they know that's gift enough, that you and this guy are broken up, fine. You move on. That's what you do when you're 17. You'll be fine in a week. Laurie, enjoy. You're 23. What's up?
1:08:41
Caller
I've been dating my boyfriend for, well, actually my fiance for eight years. We've been engaged for a little over a year.
1:08:48
Adam
You guys got together at 15?
1:08:50
Caller
Yeah.
1:08:51
Adam
All right. How old is he? 39. Oh, I see.
1:08:54
Drew
24.
1:08:56
Caller
We've been making plans, thinking about getting married and everything, and making the plans. Lately, I've been getting cold feet. We used to fight when we were younger, but I played it off because we were young and dating. Now, it's just little things that get on my nerves. But now, I'm just freaked out that it's not going to work out. I was wondering, should I tell him and confront him about it, and should we go to counseling before we get married, or should I just call the whole thing off?
1:09:19
Adam
When you've been dating since 15, do you see a family therapist, or you have to go back to your school counselor? How does that work? Mr. Tomey is going to sit you two down and have a talk with you in his office. Laurie, what's going on now that makes you hesitant to marry?
1:09:36
Caller
Well, just like we get in all these, I mean, they're little fights over nothing.
1:09:40
Drew
How have you ever had an opportunity to sort of grow as people when you've been stuck in this relationship since you were 15?
1:09:45
Caller
That's the thing. I'm kind of freaked out because we've been going together so long.
1:09:48
Drew
Imagine, now you're 45, and you've been with the same person your whole life. Is that where you want to be?
1:09:53
Goo Goo Dolls
Break up with them.
1:09:54
Drew
Well, maybe some time out, time off, I don't know.
1:09:57
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, like 10 years.
1:09:58
Drew
Yeah. We're not in favor of 23-year-olds getting married anyway.
1:10:02
Adam
It's kind of a weird thing, but it's like, here you are at 23, getting ready to get married, and you're bored of the person. It's sort of run its course. There's too much water under the bridge. Yeah, everyone, you really do need to experience other people, other relationships, other environments. Not that you're necessarily going to find anyone you like anymore, but imagine that nagging feeling in the back of your head of-
1:10:25
Goo Goo Dolls
What I miss.
1:10:26
Adam
What I miss.
1:10:26
Drew
Who am I?
1:10:28
Adam
Who are you, Drew?
1:10:29
Drew
I mean, who am I in a relationship with?
1:10:30
Adam
Right. And I've been with this person for my entire life.
1:10:34
Goo Goo Dolls
Plus, there's so many cool people in the world that will like you and accept you exactly as you are. And you get in these stupid little fights all the time. It's just like, forget it.
1:10:43
Adam
So don't play in the marriage. And if you guys are serious, though, you could do a little counseling together and feel it out. But don't rush into anything. Besides, you're 23. You got a little more time anyway. All right. We'll take ourselves a break. Is that Chanel?
1:10:57
Drew
Yep.
1:10:58
Adam
She got drunk and passed out when she woke up. A guy was raping her. Yeah, there's nobody on. Our listeners, if they went to the moon, got drunk and passed out in the lunar landing capsule, another cosmonaut would be on top of them. It's like a girl gets drunk, falls asleep, then wakes up the guy on top of them.
1:11:18
Drew
They all are paralyzed mysteriously.
1:11:19
Adam
It's great. Yeah, they're just like buzzards, guys. Hey, Chanel?
1:11:23
Caller
Yeah?
1:11:24
Adam
All right. The guy was on top of you?
1:11:25
Caller
Yeah.
1:11:26
Adam
Got drunk, passed out at a party?
1:11:27
Caller
Yeah.
1:11:28
Adam
All right. You okay?
1:11:29
Caller
Yeah.
1:11:30
Adam
All right. Hold on a second, all right?
1:11:31
Caller
All right.
1:11:31
Adam
Now we're going to go to break. We'll find out what happened to you.
1:11:33
Caller
Okay.
1:11:34
Adam
How long ago did this happen?
1:11:36
Caller
November.
1:11:37
Adam
Okay.
1:11:37
Goo Goo Dolls
Oh, boy.
1:11:37
Adam
Oh, boy.
1:11:38
Goo Goo Dolls
All right.
1:11:39
Adam
Hang on.
1:11:39
Goo Goo Dolls
Okay.
1:11:40
Adam
All right. The Goo Goo Dolls are here. Does he have the girls' names in the CD? We'll take a little break.
1:11:43
Goo Goo Dolls
We got to cut out. We're going. You do? Yeah, we got to go. I got to go.
1:11:47
Adam
I didn't even know that.
1:11:48
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. Oh, son of a bitch. Yeah, it was so much fun. We just lost track of time.
1:11:52
Adam
Oh, okay.
1:11:52
Goo Goo Dolls
We were supposed to leave at 11.
1:11:54
Adam
Oh, really?
1:11:55
Goo Goo Dolls
But it's rare that we get these opportunities to be here with you.
1:11:57
Adam
Well, you were here for an hour and a half.
1:11:59
Goo Goo Dolls
It was fun. I love this stuff.
1:12:01
Adam
All right. You're going to come back soon?
1:12:03
Goo Goo Dolls
Are you going to ask us back?
1:12:05
Adam
That was just radio talk. We're busy.
1:12:07
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, I think that's the only... Listen, I got to come back. I got to come back a lot because I think that's the only way we're going to get Broadway played.
1:12:14
Adam
Oh, yeah. Well, it'll be played every night. Now, where's everyone living? Buffalo?
1:12:19
Goo Goo Dolls
We'll make it the official theme song of your show.
1:12:21
Adam
Okay. Will you do that? Anderson, make Broadway the official theme song.
1:12:25
Goo Goo Dolls
The guy from Warner Brothers is out there. He'll give you guys a couple hundred bucks a week.
1:12:28
Adam
Oh, really?
1:12:29
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah, absolutely. Isn't that the way it works?
1:12:31
Caller
Yeah, there we go.
1:12:33
Goo Goo Dolls
Look at that. I can hear the cash register ringing.
1:12:35
Adam
I got money, but I do need a little Coke if he's listening.
1:12:38
Goo Goo Dolls
Sure, maybe a stripper.
1:12:41
Adam
Yeah, she can score the Coke. All right. Mike, Johnny, thanks for coming in. We do appreciate it.
1:12:47
Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks for having us.
1:12:47
Adam
We'll take a little break. We'll finish up when we come back. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I want to thank Mike and Johnny for coming in here from the Goo Goo Dolls. Tell everyone to go out and get dizzy up the girl and make it quadruple platinum. Nice guys, regular guys, friendly guys. Always good to see them. Is that the dentist today, Drew?
1:13:53
Drew
Oh, we had that go.
1:13:55
Adam
Relatively painless.
1:13:57
Drew
They use the laser?
1:14:00
Adam
No, they use the same drill that I remember from my childhood. But to be fair, I was nine, so it's only been 25, 26 years. And you know, you know how technology crawls along. I mean, really, you know, it's really, I know the dental industry is tired of me talking about this, but if you take a look at what was going on from a technological standpoint, when I first started going to the dentist, let's just say age 10, 1974. Let me tell you a few things that didn't exist. Computers didn't exist. Anti-lock brakes on cars, airbags. No, just a dream in the distant future. VCRs didn't exist. Laser discs, CDs, none of it, none of it existed. They barely had stereo systems back then. TVs, still a lot of them were black and white. I think the toaster just made the scene.
1:15:03
Drew
No remote controls?
1:15:05
Adam
No, TVs didn't have remotes. In 74, once in a while, I think Elvis probably had a TV that had a remote, but it was a weird remote. They worked on sound, not on a pulse.
1:15:17
Drew
Click, click.
1:15:17
Adam
Yeah, they'd make a click sound, and if some guy was chewing gum and popped it, it would change a channel. It's like the click, click thing. It's like what they do to train dolphins. It's like the same little palm noise maker. Grand Funk Railroad was probably just making the scene.
1:15:36
Drew
Stereo.
1:15:37
Adam
Making waves.
1:15:38
Drew
Just the sound, stereo sound. Stereophonic.
1:15:40
Adam
Stereophonic sound.
1:15:41
Drew
High fidelity was around.
1:15:43
Adam
That's right, everybody. The Space Shuttle wasn't even on the drawing board at that time. Reagan was still probably governor of California. At 70, we were just getting the troops out of Vietnam. And the dentist was using the same drill that he used on my teeth today, everybody.
1:16:06
Drew
You're fair enough, Adam. They now have the tongue scraper.
1:16:08
Adam
Yes, I invented the tongue scraper. All right, so a couple of things I can remember, because I got the nitrous strapped on immediately and got a nice buzz going. But when she cleaned my teeth, the hygienist, and then when it came... And by the way, talk about bad gigs. Dental hygienist. When she was going to then get the pumice out and ask me my choice of flavors. And as you know, I go off on them every time they ask me about the pina colada or the wild mountain cherry flavor, because I tell them, listen, you're scraping my teeth with this pumice and this pneumatically powered sort of chamois. Just use the toothpaste flavor. That's kind of what my teeth are used to. It would be disconcerting for me to have a tropical drink spread on my teeth. So she says, you want the mint? And I said, yeah, just give me the mint. And she said, you want the chocolate mint? And I said to her, listen, you guys spent a considerable amount of time and effort trying to convince people not to eat sweets. Don't you think it's a bit of a sort of a bad message to rub chocolate flavored stuff on people's teeth? You know what I mean? I said to her, I said, dude, it's like going to an AA meeting and them serving near beer. It's just a bad message. You know what I mean? It doesn't seem like a good way to cement certain behavior.
1:17:34
Drew
Brandy flavored candies and...
1:17:36
Adam
Yeah, you can go to an AA meeting and have near beer or drink vanilla extract, or rum extract. I mean, it just seemed like a bad plan. So I got the nitrous, I got the filling, I got the scraping. I got an argument with him because he wanted to pull a wisdom tooth. My dentist is like a mechanic, which is, listen, as long as you're up on the rack and we got the tranny pulled, let's just go ahead and change the throwout bearing. I told him, listen, it's not like you got to Buick up on a rack, I got to go back to work today. He's like, listen, you're numbed up, I can lose that wisdom tooth while you're numb. I said, you know what, I may be numb, but I'm not dumb, doctor. Leave that thing in there.
1:18:20
Drew
He won't see you for another three years. That's the other problem.
1:18:23
Adam
Right. That's the other problem. But I thought to myself, I got a problem because as they were taking the nitrous off of me, it's like, okay, you're done with the filling. You've rinsed your mouth out. The dentist has left the chair. It's time to unstrap the nitrous thing. I sat up with the nitrous thing still strapped to my nose. And you know what I did, Drew? I went, that was like one last good hit before they roll that tank out of there.
1:18:47
Drew
And then you go, wah, wah, wah, wah.
1:18:48
Caller
I went, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
1:18:50
Adam
And I thought of you. I thought, what's Drew going to say when he realized it took one last drag off the nitro tank before I headed out to the car? All righty, let's hop back on the phones and speak to Chanel. Chanel got drunk, passed out a party, woke up the guy on top of her. What was he doing to you?
1:19:10
Caller
Apparently, he had just finished.
1:19:11
Adam
Oh, he just finished?
1:19:12
Drew
That's when you woke up.
1:19:13
Caller
Yeah.
1:19:14
Adam
Why? Hell, boy, you're pretty drunk, right?
1:19:18
Caller
Yeah. Earlier that night, he kept asking me, and I told him no, because I'm a virgin and everything.
1:19:23
Adam
Oh, boy. He kept asking you for sex?
1:19:25
Caller
Yeah.
1:19:26
Caller
Wow.
1:19:26
Adam
He was like, Can I have sex?
1:19:28
Caller
Yeah, he was just like, will you, you know?
1:19:31
Caller
Wow, weirdo. But in a different term.
1:19:33
Adam
I see. And you kept saying no, but you kept drinking.
1:19:37
Caller
Yeah.
1:19:37
Drew
And this happened months ago, you said, right?
1:19:39
Caller
Yeah, November.
1:19:39
Drew
How come you didn't report this?
1:19:42
Caller
Because it happened a minute before, and I didn't want to go through all that again.
1:19:46
Drew
It happened to you before?
1:19:47
Caller
Yeah.
1:19:48
Drew
I thought you said you were a virgin.
1:19:49
Caller
Well, I mean, like, mentally, I'm a virgin. You know, I don't consider it like when I was little. You know?
1:19:54
Drew
What happened to you before?
1:19:56
Caller
Like, my older brother did stuff to me when I was little.
1:19:59
Adam
Oh, boy.
1:20:00
Drew
How old were you? How do these guys know this stuff?
1:20:02
Caller
I was a preschooler in kindergarten.
1:20:05
Adam
How old was your older brother?
1:20:07
Caller
Like, 10.
1:20:09
Drew
What happened to him?
1:20:10
Caller
Huh?
1:20:11
Adam
What's he up to now?
1:20:12
Caller
Oh, I don't know. I don't know what happened to him. But-
1:20:16
Adam
You don't know where he is now?
1:20:17
Caller
Well, he's living in Washington. He's not doing bad, I don't think.
1:20:22
Adam
Oh, wow. And so, what is he now? 21 or something?
1:20:29
Caller
Something like that.
1:20:30
Adam
Oh, boy. And what's- so, what happened with that? Did you report it in your parents?
1:20:35
Caller
My brother?
1:20:36
Adam
Yeah.
1:20:37
Caller
Yeah, like when I was little, he got sent away for a long time.
1:20:40
Adam
Oh, boy. All right. But that- you realize that's what set you up for this one, too, right?
1:20:46
Caller
Yeah.
1:20:47
Adam
Yeah. And do you drink too much normally?
1:20:50
Caller
No.
1:20:51
Adam
No?
1:20:51
Caller
Sometimes. I used to when I hung out with some dad, you know.
1:20:56
Drew
So you have a history of excess alcohol use?
1:20:58
Caller
Huh?
1:20:58
Drew
You have a history of excessive alcohol use?
1:21:01
Caller
What do you mean? Like in my family?
1:21:02
Adam
Well-
1:21:02
Drew
Well, go ahead, answer that one, too. In your family?
1:21:06
Caller
Well, my parents drink like once a week.
1:21:10
Adam
They drink a half gallon of scotch once a week?
1:21:13
Caller
They drink like whiskey.
1:21:15
Adam
Okay. Hey, Chanel. So what's your question now?
1:21:20
Caller
Okay. My question is, like, do I have a right to consider myself a virgin if I didn't want any of this to happen?
1:21:29
Adam
Yeah, you do. But you're hanging around near the cusp because you're drinking a little too much and hanging around with the wrong people.
1:21:35
Drew
Right.
1:21:36
Adam
I mean, everyone talks about, and it's interesting because people talk about virginity as if it's a penis piercing the plane of the vagina, like an NFL halfback trying to stuff a ball into the end zone. And really, it's more of a lifestyle attitude more than it is a technical thing, although the technical thing is a part of it too.
1:22:01
Drew
It used to be something that was required for economic change of property. Now, it really is referring to issues of chastity, I think.
1:22:10
Adam
Yeah. I mean, if you sort of replace virgin with prude, and I think you'd be better off, but the point is, is listen, if you were raped by your brother and then raped by some drunk guy at a party, I don't want to take that virgin title away from you, so we'll just consider it a yard. On the other hand, if you go out boozing and carousing too much, you're going to lose it.
1:22:33
Drew
Right.
1:22:34
Adam
Whether you get sexed on or not.
1:22:35
Drew
Right.
1:22:36
Adam
All right, so work on the drinking. You got to get a little therapy for what happens, some counseling. And please just be careful where you drink and be careful where you pass out because I'll tell you-
1:22:47
Drew
These guys have radar that's uncanned.
1:22:49
Adam
A guy sees a girl passed out at a party and it's like McGruff when he sees the laptop computer sitting around at the airport terminal. It's going to get gobbled up.
1:22:58
Drew
How do they know already?
1:23:01
Adam
I don't think they know. I think they just go knock on a lot of doors and see who answers.
1:23:09
Drew
These are the ones that answer a certain way maybe.
1:23:12
Adam
Look at it this way. You're at a party and this guy said to her earlier in the party, mind if I F you, and instead of her getting outraged, instead of her slapping him or whatever, she probably laughs and says get lost and has another drink and he thinks, all right.
1:23:28
Goo Goo Dolls
I can't answer that.
1:23:30
Adam
Right. He thinks, I'll be back. Let her get you stuck a little more. I mean, you know what I mean? I mean, you can tell the difference as a guy. Drew, you know, you were young.
1:23:40
Drew
I was a guy.
1:23:40
Adam
Young rapist at one point in your career. You say to somebody, you say to a girl, hey, how about this or how about that? There's a couple of different kinds of no. I mean, I know you feminists and you whoever's hate to hear this, but listen, we all know it and it's not just pertaining to sex. Meaning, you say to a buddy of yours, hey, listen, Wednesday we're going out to a strip club or we're going to the ball game and he goes, nah, I can't do it and there's two different kinds of no's. There's a no which is I'm gonna talk him into it and there's a no, don't bother trying again. I don't think people have been abused like this, give that no, like don't bother trying again. They give that no which is no, but I'm drinking pretty good, come back in an hour. All right. Don, you're 25 and I'm not saying that that's what they want, they just don't know how to give that kind of no.
1:24:32
Caller
How are you doing?
1:24:33
Adam
What's up there?
1:24:34
Caller
Yeah, I went to a massage place, I think the first time I did it a few times and I'll tell you every time I go there, they rub me down, I get hard, but then once she starts to give me the BJ, I die every time.
1:24:49
Adam
You die a little inside or your penis dies? Both. I see.
1:24:54
Caller
But I got friends that can do it no problem, you know, and it's like, you know, how like you guys say the girl, like Drew says the girl has to, you know, feel some kind of love to get anything, I feel like I'm kind of stuck in that too.
1:25:05
Adam
What's Drew say? Oh, you mean you're not feeling any love?
1:25:08
Caller
Yeah.
1:25:08
Drew
Not feeling emotionally connected.
1:25:09
Adam
Maybe you just don't like Asians.
1:25:11
Caller
Well, I've had, I have, you know, Latinas, everything, Japanese.
1:25:14
Adam
Oh, Japanese and Asians?
1:25:17
Caller
Yeah.
1:25:17
Adam
Oh, that's different.
1:25:18
Caller
Yeah, they got a variety there.
1:25:19
Adam
Well, now I'm confused. There's an Asian, you might be like a Chinese, a Japanese and an Asian woman.
1:25:27
Caller
I mean, they're not all mixed together, you know what I mean? But on different occasions, I've had all the girls.
1:25:32
Adam
I see.
1:25:33
Caller
Yeah, nothing, man.
1:25:34
Adam
Yeah. Well, your heart's not in it, Don.
1:25:37
Caller
Yeah. It's like I figured if I could get one, if I could find-
1:25:40
Adam
Oh, listen. Listen, it ain't working. What do you keep going for?
1:25:43
Drew
Maybe you're healthier than you think you are.
1:25:44
Adam
Yeah. Call your penis old-fashioned. Call it coy. It's not interested in that.
1:25:49
Drew
Yeah.
1:25:50
Adam
I'm the same. I used to be the same way. I was the same way. Now, I think I can handle it. But no, I'm serious. I never was one of those guys. I've never been with a prostitute willingly. I've never, it never sounded attractive to me that go pick up a chick on the street who's coked up or dad beat the crap out of her and she ran away.
1:26:11
Drew
Sounds awful.
1:26:12
Adam
I mean, listen, seriously, why don't you just put some liver in a mayonnaise jar and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds if that's a sensation that you want. Plus, you have a better conversation.
1:26:22
Drew
With the mayonnaise jar.
1:26:24
Adam
With the liver, with the liver and pregnant mayonnaise jar, sure. Now, you know what I'm saying? I mean, it is a turn off, believe it or not, to a handful of healthy guys out there to have sex with someone who's not really interested in having sex with them. I know it seems to be slipping away, but some of us are old fashioned. We'd like the girl to actually want to be there.
1:26:47
Drew
Yeah.
1:26:49
Adam
For something more than money. Don?
1:26:51
Caller
Yeah.
1:26:51
Adam
Yeah, that's you again. Listen, we're done with you.
1:26:53
Caller
Okay, one more thing.
1:26:54
Adam
Yeah.
1:26:54
Caller
Okay, I'm thinking this last thing. If I had enough money to where I could get a really good one, where they could really kid you into thinking that they enjoyed it.
1:27:02
Adam
Right.
1:27:02
Caller
Then maybe.
1:27:03
Adam
That's good. Yeah. You just keep repeating that thought while they're kidding you into it, your penis will not cooperate at all.
1:27:09
Drew
Kid me into it.
1:27:10
Adam
All right. Find yourself a nice girl. You're 25. There's nothing wrong with you. We'll be back.
1:27:18
Drew
Love line, with Anna Carolla and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it.
1:27:53
Adam
Yep, here's the Loveline. Dr. Drew. Oh, I almost slipped into a little lightning round there. No, no, there. I packed it all into 15 seconds. I don't know why I'm so amused by that.
1:28:13
Drew
I like that, too. It's very musical.
1:28:14
Adam
Yeah, why is that? Why is it spread? Yeah, a little yeasty on the peckeroo. I'd like to drive home one night. All right, listen to the lightning round. Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba.
1:28:30
Caller
Oh, hi, this is Bernadette.
1:28:33
Adam
Oh, it's Bernadette.
1:28:34
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes, I had to call back because my phone disconnected.
1:28:37
Adam
Oh, I see. Well, now you're back as Ellen.
1:28:39
Goo Goo Dolls
Yes, sorry.
1:28:40
Adam
All right, so anyway, Bernadette.
1:28:42
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
1:28:43
Adam
Or Ellen. Well, what's your real name?
1:28:45
Caller
Elizabeth.
1:28:47
Adam
Elizabeth, okay.
1:28:48
Drew
Oh, that's, I'm clear now.
1:28:49
Adam
All right, so Elizabeth. Yes. You think that your boyfriend is addicted to giving you oral sex? No.
1:28:56
Drew
No, that's what she used to get through with.
1:28:59
Adam
Oh, I see.
1:28:59
Drew
She was calling about-
1:29:01
Adam
Were we talking about something else?
1:29:02
Drew
Weren't you trying to change guys or something? Wasn't your thing?
1:29:04
Caller
Yeah, dangerous guys.
1:29:06
Caller
Try to change them.
1:29:08
Adam
How long ago did we talk to her?
1:29:10
Drew
A half hour ago.
1:29:10
Adam
Oh, I see. All right, so are we still talking about that?
1:29:14
Caller
Yeah.
1:29:14
Adam
Why?
1:29:15
Caller
Well, because I won't be able to listen. I'm on the East Coast.
1:29:19
Caller
And I won't be able to hear it.
1:29:20
Caller
And I don't know if I'll be able to listen to it tomorrow.
1:29:22
Adam
I see. I'm still not sure why we're talking about it. Didn't we tell you what to do?
1:29:26
Drew
She dropped off when we were telling her.
1:29:27
Caller
Yeah.
1:29:28
Adam
Oh, that's right. Okay. Now it's all coming back to me. All right. So what we told you was you know what you're doing. Stop it. I mean, I know it sounds overly simplistic, but you can, you do have the power to change. You do have control over your actions.
1:29:45
Goo Goo Dolls
I'm a little insecure.
1:29:46
Caller
You know, I kind of take what I can get.
1:29:49
Adam
Yeah, I know. But why?
1:29:50
Drew
That's why you go for the bad guys?
1:29:52
Goo Goo Dolls
I guess.
1:29:53
Drew
Or is it because you already don't feel like you deserve anything else and that's where you go?
1:29:58
Goo Goo Dolls
Probably that, yeah.
1:29:59
Adam
Why are you insecure?
1:30:00
Caller
I'm just about the way I look and stuff.
1:30:02
Adam
Well, what's wrong with the way you look?
1:30:04
Caller
I guess I'm just a little over-obsessed with my weight.
1:30:07
Adam
Are you overweight?
1:30:09
Goo Goo Dolls
Well, I don't know. I'm six foot. And I'm a hundred and forty-five pounds.
1:30:16
Adam
Yeah, that's fine. Six foot, one forty-five?
1:30:20
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah.
1:30:21
Adam
Six foot, really?
1:30:22
Caller
Well, five eleven and a half.
1:30:23
Adam
Wow.
1:30:24
Goo Goo Dolls
Round up.
1:30:25
Adam
Seventeen. I bet you grow another half inch. Geez-a-weez. And one forty-five. Perfect. I'm sure you're a knockout. Listen. Hey, Alan. It's, it's, I mean, Elizabeth. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's not Bernadette. It's not so important. Listen. What you think of you shouldn't be based on what other people think of you.
1:30:48
Drew
Oh, but you can't tell a seventeen-year-old that.
1:30:50
Adam
Oh, listen. I'm thirty-five. You tell me that I'll punch you in the mouth.
1:30:52
Drew
Right.
1:30:54
Adam
But here's what it is. Here's what I'm, okay. Here's what I want to say. I don't want to get, I don't want to get too cathartic here, but just let me go for a second here, Drew. What you think of yourself is based on what other people think of you, but what other people think of you is not some random thought. You can't change that by you getting drunk or you putting out, or you giving them a massage. They have to think, I mean, everyone close your eyes and think of someone that you respect, whether it's some founding father or some rock act or some actor, musician, a poet, whatever, school teacher, whoever. Think of who that person that you respect is. Now, why do you respect them? Because of their actions, because of what they've done, because of what they've achieved. So if you want to get people to respect you, don't just yell at them to respect you. Live the kind of life that's worth respecting, and people will do it. I mean, you want to get better guys? Go to school, finish school, get your degree, go to the gym, work out, exercise, take care of yourself. You know what I mean?
1:32:01
Drew
Do something with what you've got.
1:32:03
Adam
Right. Now listen, and don't bother trying to, I don't even bother. Listen, when I was like 17, 18, I was just a mess. 17, 18. Oh, no. I mean 17, 18, 19, 20, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28. I knew I wasn't going to get any chicks or any that I wanted. So I said, screw it. I'm just going to go get my ass together and then one day they'll come find me. Sure enough, that day's fast approaching. Isn't it just around the corner, Drew, please?
1:32:30
Drew
Fast approaching.
1:32:31
Adam
All right. All right. By the time I'm 40, would you say?
1:32:33
Drew
Yeah. But it's a painful period, that 18 to 22 time.
1:32:36
Adam
Susie.
1:32:38
Caller
Hi.
1:32:38
Adam
You're 16. You want to experiment with girls?
1:32:41
Caller
Well, I already have.
1:32:42
Adam
You want to know how far you should go?
1:32:44
Caller
Well, sort of.
1:32:46
Adam
Yeah. Drew, I have the same question.
1:32:48
Caller
No, it's just-
1:32:49
Drew
It's fast approaching.
1:32:51
Caller
I was playing tennis with her, and I met her, and we became really, really, really good friends.
1:32:56
Adam
Hold on. Were you guys wearing those little skirts?
1:32:58
Caller
Yeah.
1:32:58
Adam
All right. Slow down.
1:33:02
Caller
She and I look alike. We're exactly alike. She's a little hotter than me. We're just awesome together. Just in November, we didn't see each other for a couple months because she moved. In November, I saw her and we rushed each other. It was weird. Couple months after that, on my birthday, she spent the night and we just got super kinky, and we did a lot of stuff.
1:33:27
Drew
Mental note, no sleepovers at my house.
1:33:29
Adam
Oral sex? You guys do oral sex?
1:33:32
Caller
Yeah. We did at the same time.
1:33:34
Adam
I mean like a 69?
1:33:35
Caller
Yeah.
1:33:36
Adam
Oh, Jesus. You weren't still wearing the tennis outfits, were you?
1:33:39
Caller
No.
1:33:39
Adam
Huh? Huh? Okay.
1:33:43
Caller
And-
1:33:44
Adam
Oh, my God. How old is she?
1:33:45
Caller
She's the same age.
1:33:46
Adam
All right. I just picked a theme for tonight.
1:33:48
Caller
Oh, I forgot.
1:33:50
Drew
We please wait till you leave the studio. Stop it.
1:33:52
Adam
No.
1:33:52
Caller
Adam, I need to tell you something. Yeah. You know how, like, a couple weeks ago, some guy called in and you liked to hear him fart, like you thought it was funny?
1:34:01
Adam
Yeah.
1:34:02
Caller
Well, she can do the same thing.
1:34:03
Adam
When you were down in the 69 position?
1:34:06
Caller
No, she just did it like it was funny.
1:34:08
Adam
Okay. Wait a minute. That's going to take two strokes off my game tonight. Which direction? My handicap is already 11. I'm going to see if I can bring it down to 9. All right. Hey, Suzie?
1:34:19
Caller
No, but this is the problem, though. Uh-oh. The problem is, when I go out with a guy or when I hook up with a guy, I'm totally making out with him.
1:34:26
Goo Goo Dolls
Yeah. You think of her.
1:34:27
Caller
I just stop in the middle of it and I just end it. Okay.
1:34:32
Goo Goo Dolls
All right. Listen.
1:34:33
Drew
How do you end it?
1:34:34
Caller
I just end it. I just stop.
1:34:36
Adam
Okay.
1:34:37
Drew
Suzie.
1:34:38
Goo Goo Dolls
I make an excuse and I don't-
1:34:39
Drew
All right.
1:34:39
Adam
Forget it.
1:34:39
Drew
You have a girlfriend.
1:34:40
Adam
She's confused. She's kind of acting out. She's a lesbian.
1:34:42
Drew
She's lesbian. She's not confused.
1:34:43
Adam
She's a lesbian. Hey, Suzie? You're a lesbian, baby. I don't know. I don't want to be the- I'm going- Listen, you're very attracted to women. Fine. Don't fight it. Hey, Drew, there's a whole new twist on this. Your daughter, what is she? Six, seven years old?
1:34:59
Drew
Yeah.
1:35:00
Adam
When does she start having sleepovers? 14?
1:35:02
Drew
I just decided I couldn't make it.
1:35:04
Adam
I mean, you remember the day when it's like, all right, it's all only girls can come over? Now. Think what it's going to be like 10 years from now.
1:35:10
Drew
That's dangerous.
1:35:12
Adam
Think about that.
1:35:13
Drew
I can't have you over, can't have our female friends over. It's ridiculous.
1:35:16
Adam
The good news is I don't want to come over. All right. We'll take a little break. When she gets a little older, 17, 18, that's a different story. I'll be ready for my trophy Wi-Fi then. We'll take a break.
1:35:31
Caller
Love Line will be right back.
1:36:06
Caller
What happened to him?
1:36:08
Adam
I got a bunch of stuff to break.
1:36:09
Drew
There's nothing better than Chimp Humor.
1:36:10
Adam
That's it. You're going to die, you're going to die. All right, everybody, save Ferris tomorrow night. So don't miss that one. Larry Flint, race car driver, Robbie Gordon and Everclear next week. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.
1:36:24
Drew
I recently went to a fraternity party and got really drunk. I randomly hooked up with a guy and we had sex. I didn't even know his name the next morning. Now he keeps calling me and I don't even still remember his name.
1:36:36
Adam
Well now.