1:21
Voiceover
Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content.
1:28
Voiceover
Listener discretion is advised.
1:29
Voiceover
Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.
1:32
Voiceover
I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.
1:34
Voiceover
Loveline.
1:36
Voiceover
Yeah, this is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. Dr. Drew will be in here in one second. I'm having to watch something in the next room. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. T-Bone Brian and Monique are all here from Save Ferris, one of our favorite bands. I saw Save Ferris in Las Vegas, I believe last time playing the, what the hell award show is it that I did over there, that you guys played the after party at?
2:11
Save Ferris
The Billboard Music Awards.
2:13
Adam
The Billboard Music Awards, right. They played the posh after party after the Billboard Awards, which was quite enjoyable, though I was being bothered by many people. Also, we saw Save Ferris, well actually just a couple of days later then at the K-Rock Almost Acoustic Christmas, where Monique got up on stage in front of God and her parents, and urged men to show their penis or women to show their vaginas or how did that go? I can't remember exactly.
2:43
Save Ferris
I just, it was an all-out hippie orgy party in the audience. I just really encouraged people to just get natural.
2:54
Adam
Were your parents humiliated by your actions?
2:56
Save Ferris
They were just happy that I didn't use the profane word for vagina.
3:01
Adam
I see. Good. Yeah. That's a tough word, especially for the ladies. I don't even think it's that word. We may start with a C, but the point is, is now, wait a minute, last time or maybe the time before we talked to you guys, we talked about doing a video with you guys that we never actually ended up doing. Now, what happened with that?
3:26
Save Ferris
I don't know.
3:28
Adam
That's good radio, by the way.
3:30
Save Ferris
Yeah.
3:31
Hey.
3:32
Adam
Hey, it's Dr. Drew, everybody. Last time you guys were in here, though, we seriously were talking about doing the Save Ferris Adam Carolla Dr. Drew video.
3:40
Save Ferris
Yeah, we thought it was going to happen.
3:43
Adam
We were pumped up about it.
3:45
Save Ferris
We were ready. We like to go. I had the clothes, I had the stylist, we had the director, we were ready to go.
3:51
Adam
The premise seemed pretty cool and fun and hip and everything, and never ended up happening.
3:57
Save Ferris
The great treatment that we wrote. What happened?
4:02
No love for the Save Ferris crew.
4:03
Save Ferris
No love for the Save Ferrises.
4:06
Drew
Who? Who?
4:07
Save Ferris
There's no love.
4:09
Adam
Is this the record company that did this? I don't know. Well, it had to be, because who else would it be? It wasn't us and it wasn't Save Ferris, they're the only third parties. The suits, the man with the kibosh on it.
4:24
Save Ferris
It's, you know, we've managed to feed seven mouths and when it comes time to buy a nice new big car, we needed to take out a loan and we didn't get it.
4:34
Adam
I see. Bastards.
4:36
Save Ferris
You know what I mean.
4:37
Adam
All right, so what do we plug in tonight? Because I just sat down. I actually saw a CD sitting here, thought it was a Save Ferris CD and it turned out to be a CD that I brought in that we're going to play tonight, which is Governor Jesse Ventura talking about The Man Show.
4:52
Drew
Which by the way, I just watched that. It's the funniest thing I've ever saw in my entire life.
4:55
Adam
Dr. Drew just watched a bit Jimmy's Monkey Wife coming up in this new Man Show season.
5:01
Drew
You got to let them see it.
5:02
Adam
Oh, you guys will enjoy that.
5:03
Drew
I almost fell over at Tom Likes' desk. Parts of it are so repulsive, you sort of recoil from the TV.
5:09
Adam
Watching a man make love with a chimpanzee is a thing.
5:11
Yes, oh my god.
5:14
Drew
Jimmy.
5:15
Adam
Yeah, it's repugnant is what it is. And who had more hair on them? The chimpanzee or Jimmy?
5:21
Drew
At times I couldn't tell who it was. Who I was looking at.
5:24
Adam
Hey Anderson, do you have that CD? Did Daniel give you that CD that I told her to give you? Yeah, I got it. Yeah, pop that thing in.
5:32
No, not now.
5:33
Adam
Why not? What the hell?
5:34
It's very long, I don't know what you want to play on.
5:36
Adam
How long is it?
5:37
It's like 12 minutes.
5:38
Adam
No. Really?
5:40
Drew
Look what you've got up there.
5:41
Adam
Okay, we're gonna have to work that out. He did wax on about us for quite a bit, but it wasn't for 12 minutes, so we'll have to queue that up as they say in the business. All right, Drew, I'm gonna need you to carry the show tonight because I gotta admit, I had a few cocktails before I came in tonight. I went to an Italian restaurant. I ate too much. I got up too early. I haven't gone home yet.
6:01
Drew
I wonder why you look so quiet when I mentioned you look loaded on that one bit on TV.
6:04
Adam
No, but I wasn't.
6:05
Drew
We kind of looked away from you. You'd have hurt your eyes.
6:06
Adam
I wasn't drunk during the filming of that bit, but I am drunk now. I mean, I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk. I'm just a little tipsy. It takes the edge off. I get a little nervous doing the radio show, and if I have a nip or two of courage, it really helps my confidence.
6:20
Save Ferris
Is this because you knew I was coming in?
6:21
Adam
That's right.
6:22
Save Ferris
Usually I wear very revealing clothing, so I have to grasp your attention, but tonight I knew you'd be trashed because I heard about you. So I just dressed normal because I knew you'd like me.
6:31
Adam
Yeah, what happened to the plunging necklines, Monique?
6:34
Save Ferris
I just, you know what? It's cold.
6:38
Drew
Last time we saw Monique, she was in front of her parents talking about...
6:41
Adam
You were in the next room. I was just talking about that.
6:44
Save Ferris
Talking about, wait, oh yeah. You know what though? That night my parents came upstairs to say goodbyes. Forever?
6:51
And they were just like, no, they were laughing so hard.
6:55
Save Ferris
They were crying. They were laughing so hard.
6:57
Adam
Oh really?
6:57
Save Ferris
I was so happy.
6:58
I mean, my parents laugh.
7:00
Adam
Well wait a minute, we met Monique's parents at that gig, right? Didn't we get on the elevator with them or something?
7:05
Save Ferris
Yes, that's right. Little French lady and a big tall American guy.
7:09
Adam
Yeah, they're a lovely unassuming couple. Drew, were you with me when we met them? I don't think I was with them. Your mother sounds a little like Dr. Ruth or something. Oh no. Well, she has that about her.
7:22
Drew
And she gave Monique the ultimate treatment for headaches.
7:27
Save Ferris
Oh no, we can't talk about this again.
7:29
Adam
Orgasm. That's right. All right, we won't talk about that.
7:33
Save Ferris
My mom's...
7:34
Adam
Well, she didn't give it to her. She just suggested it. Thank you.
7:37
Save Ferris
Oh my god.
7:38
Adam
Michelle?
7:38
Save Ferris
This is so bad.
7:39
Adam
Michelle?
7:40
Yeah?
7:41
Adam
You're 14? What's up?
7:43
Caller
Okay. I've never ever started my period.
7:45
I never had it.
7:46
Caller
But I'm sexually active. And because I had my boyfriend for a long time and so I just had sex. And then what I'm worried about is if the colon breaks, is there any way I can get pregnant if I've never started my period?
7:59
Adam
That's a decent question.
8:01
Drew
Well, you're eventually going to start your period. And you may ovulate, you will ovulate before you bleed, potentially.
8:08
Adam
You will.
8:09
Drew
Yeah. And so you won't know it. And so that's when you'll get pregnant.
8:12
Adam
Potentially? Is it a small chance or is it an overwhelming chance?
8:16
Drew
Given her age and her sexual activity, it's a huge chance. You know what I mean? Especially if the guy has no teeth and no job.
8:22
Right.
8:23
Adam
I see. All right. Yes, because we believe there's much higher likelihood of people like you getting pregnant than employed people that are of age.
8:32
Drew
The law of inverse worth.
8:33
Right.
8:34
One more thing.
8:35
Caller
If you have sex, could you get a bladder infection just from having sex?
8:38
Drew
Yes, very commonly. It used to be called honeymoon and cystitis.
8:41
Save Ferris
Right.
8:43
Adam
Now it's called first date cystitis, right Drew?
8:46
Drew
That's called prostatitis in your case.
8:48
Adam
Michelle, thank you. Constant cornhole.
8:51
Save Ferris
We know how to solve that problem, don't we?
8:52
Drew
Go ahead.
8:53
Save Ferris
By urinating before and after sex.
8:55
Adam
And during.
8:56
Drew
It helps.
8:56
Adam
It helps. Golden showers. Now should you save some for after or just figure the three or four wine coolers, Monique drinks during sex is going to generate enough urine for after sex? You got to take the edge off. I understand. Hey Michelle, you're 14. Slow down a little toots. Okay. All right.
9:19
Drew
I mean, her biological system isn't even primed for sex, yet she's engaging in it. You know what I'm saying?
9:25
Adam
Right. Hey, Drew. I'm looking up at the calendar here. I've been thinking about it all week, but I haven't been putting two and two together. You know, Sunday is Easter. Oh. Didn't you think we were going to have Easter off? Don't we get Easter off? We don't normally get Easter off.
9:39
Drew
I don't know.
9:40
Adam
That's the baby Jesus crying for me, by the way. That's no ordinary anthem.
9:44
Drew
Instead, we're going to have an Antichrist in here.
9:46
Adam
Larry Flint is going to be in here on Sunday night.
9:50
Drew
We can have a sedar with Rabbi Schmooley, though.
9:53
Adam
But seriously, don't we get Easter off?
9:55
Drew
It seemed like we had in the past.
9:58
Adam
Ann is on here. Oh, Ann's on here. Don't we normally? I mean, shouldn't we?
10:02
Drew
What do you think?
10:03
Adam
You know, I mean, a lot of people get like a half day on Friday. Maybe they get Monday off. Not too many people actually work on that Sunday.
10:10
Drew
And then throw us in the room with Larry Flint and the rabbi.
10:13
Save Ferris
Larry Flint and the rabbi in the same room together.
10:16
Adam
Yeah, they're going to debate.
10:17
Save Ferris
That's bad.
10:17
Adam
Carrie?
10:18
Caller
Hi.
10:19
Adam
You're 15.
10:21
Caller
I called Dr. Drew before and I live in a motel room with my parents and I have been for a year. And he told me to call Child Services and I did and they couldn't do anything for me.
10:31
Drew
How come? What was it they felt they couldn't do?
10:38
Caller
Well, I asked them if they could take me out of here and they said no.
10:42
Adam
Why do you live in a motel room with your parents?
10:44
Caller
Because they're morons. I don't know.
10:49
Drew
They're losers as she sees it.
10:50
Adam
Yeah, but how much?
10:51
Caller
I can't afford to get an apartment.
10:53
Adam
Yeah, but isn't it more to live in a motel sort of big picture than it is to live in an apartment? I mean, doesn't it cost 30 bucks a day to live in a motel?
11:02
Caller
$45.
11:03
Adam
Really?
11:04
Drew
A day, yeah. That includes water and it's...
11:07
Adam
All right. So are they into drugs?
11:10
Caller
No.
11:11
Adam
No.
11:12
Drew
Weren't they sort of abusive to you or something? Wasn't that the deal?
11:14
Caller
No.
11:15
Adam
Well, just making her wash with those mini soaps is a form of abuse, Drew.
11:19
Drew
I thought you had said that the situation is pretty awful.
11:23
Caller
Well, we don't have any food and we can't wash our clothes because we don't have any money to do that.
11:29
Adam
Well, what do your parents do?
11:32
Caller
Nothing.
11:33
Adam
They don't work? Where do they get the $45 a day for the motel?
11:37
Caller
A church.
11:38
Drew
How about General Relief?
11:42
Adam
Well, that's what they're getting.
11:43
Drew
That gets to be pretty expensive. They're getting just charity from the church.
11:49
Adam
$45 a day seems like enough to float yourself in an apartment. What city do you live in?
11:57
Caller
Naperville. It's a suburb of Chicago.
11:59
Adam
And neither one of your parents works. Are they looking for jobs?
12:05
Caller
Yeah.
12:06
Drew
I understand. Why aren't they getting General Relief?
12:09
Adam
What do you mean by General Relief?
12:10
Drew
You mean like welfare?
12:14
Caller
Welfare turned them down because when my dad does get a job, he gets $1,000 a week.
12:19
Adam
What's he do?
12:21
Caller
He's a health physicist.
12:23
Save Ferris
Wow. He's a health physicist.
12:25
Adam
What the hell is that? What's a health physicist?
12:31
Drew
Hello?
12:33
Caller
I don't know. I really don't know.
12:36
Adam
Hold on a second. Let's all talk amongst ourselves with that Terry for a second.
12:39
Drew
He goes up to $50,000 a year.
12:41
Adam
He's a health physicist?
12:42
Save Ferris
So welfare essentially turned him down because they're claiming that he's capable to get a job that can... I mean, if they can pay $45 a day, they can get an apartment.
12:50
Adam
But they're not paying it. Their church is paying it. They sound like they're kind of whacked out to me, not just poor, but poor and crazy.
12:57
Drew
But you can get social security from that too.
13:00
Adam
Yeah.
13:00
Save Ferris
But you know what else too is if they don't have good credit.
13:03
They probably can get an apartment.
13:05
Drew
Yeah, that's true.
13:06
Adam
Okay, hold on. I got to get back to you.
13:08
Drew
So this piece is missing to the story.
13:09
Adam
So what is a health physicist? Where did your dad work last?
13:13
Caller
A nuclear power plant.
13:15
Adam
I see. And does your mother work? Do you have brothers and sisters?
13:19
I'm an only child.
13:21
Adam
You are?
13:21
Yeah.
13:22
Adam
So those two have to get a job, right?
13:25
Yeah.
13:25
Adam
Do you go to high school?
13:27
Caller
No.
13:28
Adam
You're not going to school?
13:29
Caller
I haven't gone to school since April of last year.
13:32
Adam
You're motel schooled? No. What do you do?
13:36
Caller
No school at all.
13:37
Adam
No school.
13:38
Caller
I stay at home and sleep all day and it's really depressing. I'm thinking about killing myself to leave.
13:43
Adam
And well, that's a viable alternative. Do your parents just sit in the hotel with you or the motel with you every day?
13:51
Caller
Yeah, every day.
13:52
Adam
You all just sit in the same room and watch TV all day?
13:56
Caller
Every day.
13:56
Drew
Oh, Adam, that would be purgatory for you.
13:58
Caller
Is that basic cable in your family?
13:59
Adam
I would enjoy that.
14:00
Drew
You and your family?
14:01
Adam
Oh, my family? No, kill myself.
14:03
Save Ferris
T-Bone asked if they had basic cable.
14:04
Caller
Is that just basic cable? Because that would be really bad.
14:07
Caller
We don't have cable.
14:08
Adam
No cable in the motel?
14:09
Caller
No cable.
14:10
Adam
All right, now you should call Child Services.
14:12
Caller
Yeah, it's over.
14:13
Adam
Yeah. They don't have SpectraVision?
14:16
Caller
No.
14:17
Adam
Okay.
14:17
Save Ferris
Not even free porn after 8 p.m.?
14:20
Adam
That is child abuse right there. Hey, Carrie? Yeah? I think your parents are crazy, and unfortunately, you're going to have to take care of yourself. The good news is you're 15, which is right about the age where you could probably start doing that. Do you think you could go to the nearest high school and sort of-
14:39
Drew
Just enroll.
14:39
Adam
Throw yourself on the mercy of it?
14:41
Caller
I can't go to high school because I would only be in the seventh grade.
14:46
Adam
No, they'd just give you a test and you sound sharp enough to pass and they put-
14:50
Caller
No, really, really, I can't go back to school.
14:54
Adam
Okay, well-
14:55
Drew
If you keep throwing up roadblocks into the potential exits-
14:57
Caller
I was going to go get my GED as soon as I turned 16, but if I turn 16 in here, I'm just going to commit suicide.
15:03
Drew
Well, if you can get your GED, you can get back to school.
15:07
Adam
I feel sorry for her, but I kind of wish she'd kill herself too, just like a little bit of me because she's really annoying.
15:13
Drew
Well, she's a miserable situation.
15:15
Adam
You're right.
15:15
Drew
But she's angry and who wouldn't be angry, but she needs to make that step away.
15:20
Adam
Do you think her parents are like religious fanatics or something that are like Christ told them not to work? Because I think Christ told my parents not to work too. Carrie?
15:29
Caller
Yeah.
15:30
Adam
Are your parents religious?
15:32
Caller
Not at all.
15:34
Adam
But the church is paying for the motel?
15:37
Yeah.
15:39
Adam
Okay, let's all just pause for a real long second. What church, if they're not religious at all?
15:45
Caller
It's a Christian church.
15:46
Adam
And they're floating your parents living in this motel, yet they're not religious and they don't attend that church?
15:53
Caller
That's right.
15:54
Drew
Okay, here's the okay.
15:57
Adam
I don't care.
15:57
Save Ferris
But has she asked them why they don't get jobs and what's their answer?
16:01
Drew
She needs to get out of the house. Very simple. She needs to have some peers at school, right?
16:08
Adam
Yeah, but here's the problem. She wants help, but she's really angry at the same time. I don't blame her, but I mean, okay, here's what I'm saying.
16:17
Drew
So if it's really that miserable, go to the seventh grade.
16:19
Adam
Hold on. This may be the Chianti talking. And I know it's horrible to talk to 15-year-olds that are essentially being abused right this way and speak to them in this tone, but listen, you can't call this show, ask for help, and then be combative with us. We give you a whole litany of suggestions and you shoot every single one of them down in a very short curt way. When you do that, then it makes us just go, screw you, good luck, see you in hell. We don't want to say that, but I don't know what else to suggest to Carrie. Carrie's parents are sick, maybe emotionally. I'm sorry for her situation. She has to spend as much time out of that motel, even if it's down by the pool, reading Cliff Notes is possible. Yes, and just get a job at a nearby McDonald's and start working her way out.
17:11
Drew
That's right.
17:12
Adam
Travis, you're 14.
17:17
Drew
At least she made the outreach call to the Department of Social Services and she's made some contact. She needs to now shuttle in the ship to try other things. Right.
17:25
Save Ferris
She can get involved in organizations.
17:27
Drew
How about that church helping her out?
17:29
Save Ferris
That's what I was going to say.
17:30
Adam
She should start hanging out at that church. Travis?
17:33
Yeah.
17:33
Adam
What's up?
17:38
Hey, whenever I masturbate, I have to masturbate to porn with a guy and a chick, not just like two chicks.
17:45
Adam
Yeah. Same here. Boobs and BJs. That's my middle name. Actually, just Boobs is my middle name and BJ added on it. Yeah.
17:56
Caller
Like the monkey?
17:57
Adam
Right. Yeah, the bear. Yeah. Stacks. That's my girlfriend.
18:02
Drew
You know what, you guys, I'm obsessing about Carrie now because you don't know how serious her threats are.
18:06
Adam
I know, but I don't know what the hell she's either.
18:09
Drew
I agree with you, Drew. Let me give a phone number to Susa. All right.
18:11
Adam
Hold on, Travis.
18:12
Drew
Because we have an obligation to.
18:14
Adam
Well, you do. I just have to crack wise.
18:17
Drew
It's 1-800-SUICIDE. If you're really feeling those sorts of impulses, 1-800-SUICIDE, also 1-800-422-4453. Those are two sources to get help tonight.
18:31
Save Ferris
I might say one last thing, Carrie. Just get involved in, maybe get involved with the church, helping other people, maybe. Because I think helping other people really helps you realize your purpose.
18:44
Adam
She has to get out of that room.
18:46
Save Ferris
Yeah, get out of there. But helping other people will help you a lot.
18:49
Drew
This is the only resource I can get her to right now. At drdrew.com, we have a new gentleman there who's developing resources in various communities. His name is Scott Zorn.
18:56
Adam
I think she has a Mac laptop on her.
18:58
Drew
I'm just saying, if she can get in there, he works very hard at getting people referred to resources in the community.
19:03
Adam
They have a PC that you have to feed quarters into. Do you understand? Wouldn't it be great if I owned a motel, that's what I'd have. I'd have a personal computer to feed quarters into it every 10 minutes.
19:15
Save Ferris
That's smart.
19:16
Adam
That would be. That'd be a good money maker. Put them at the airports, motels, bus stops.
19:21
Drew
They have them.
19:22
Adam
They do?
19:23
Drew
They don't have quarters, but they take a credit card.
19:25
Caller
You zip them at the airport.
19:26
Drew
At the airport.
19:27
Adam
And you get a laptop or what do you get?
19:29
Drew
Yeah, it's a web access laptop.
19:30
Caller
We've seen them at truck stops too.
19:32
Save Ferris
Oh yeah, can't you slip a dollar in there?
19:34
Caller
Yeah, the truck stop ones you can put like funds and stuff.
19:36
Adam
And what do you do? Just check around on the internet?
19:38
Caller
Yeah, I guess you could do that.
19:39
Drew
Check your email.
19:40
Adam
Oh man, see every one of my good ideas I copy from someone else.
19:44
Drew
And I saw at the same airport, I saw this guy walking dogs by, all the women sitting.
19:48
Adam
Yeah.
19:49
Drew
And the dog kept like running around.
19:51
Adam
He was sniffing their crotches?
19:52
Drew
Yeah.
19:53
Adam
My crotch sniffing airport dog. Finally, it's come to fruition. I knew it would. Travis.
19:58
Save Ferris
But all dogs like crotches.
20:00
Adam
Yeah, but these detect disease. Oh yes. Travis, you're 14 and you masturbate to males and females having sex.
20:11
Caller
Yeah.
20:12
Adam
Fine.
20:13
Caller
Fine.
20:14
Adam
Yes.
20:15
All right.
20:15
Adam
All right.
20:16
All right.
20:17
Adam
There you go, buddy.
20:18
Bye.
20:18
Save Ferris
Nice, healthy young man.
20:20
Adam
Nothing wrong with that. Jenny?
20:23
Yes.
20:23
Adam
You're 25? What's up?
20:26
Caller
My husband, we have a three-year-old daughter. She just turned three in February, but he still takes spas with her, and I need to know, I mean, could that emotionally mess her up?
20:39
Drew
I don't know that there's a right answer to this one, but I would doubt it, and it's important to think about these things and to begin getting towards stopping that stuff.
20:49
Adam
Is he hung?
20:50
Drew
But it's normal.
20:52
Adam
Because that's a factor.
20:54
Save Ferris
You are so disgusting.
20:56
Adam
Well, it is a factor. I have to ask the tough questions.
21:00
Caller
I'm not going to answer that.
21:01
Adam
No, you don't know?
21:03
Caller
I know, but I'm not going to answer that.
21:04
Adam
I see. No, I guess that's the answer to that.
21:07
Save Ferris
If it's any consolation, I took showers with my sister till I was 14.
21:11
Adam
Really?
21:11
Save Ferris
I thought that was how it was done, and then one day my sister said, Monique, we know it's not what we do.
21:17
Adam
She was 27. That's the prom. Now, how old was your sister at the time?
21:21
Save Ferris
She's 11 years older than me.
21:22
Drew
Oh, 25.
21:25
Save Ferris
She's hot, too.
21:27
Adam
Really? All right. Now, I'm definitely...
21:28
Save Ferris
Isn't she?
21:29
Adam
I was toying with masturbating to that. Now, I'm definitely doing it. My penis was shrugging like, yeah, I don't know. We might go this direction. We'll see. We'll play it by ear. And it was like, she's 11 years old. My penis was like, what? And then she's hot. My penis was like, definitely. Yeah.
21:46
Save Ferris
You're kidding me. I tried to fix you up with her.
21:48
Adam
Are you serious?
21:48
Save Ferris
You told me you were taken or something.
21:51
Adam
Wait a minute. You have an older sister who, when she was 20...
21:56
Save Ferris
My ex-model. Hello.
21:57
Adam
When she was 25, was taking showers with you.
22:02
Save Ferris
Okay. First off, let me just say our mom is French.
22:06
Adam
Oh, that's true.
22:06
Save Ferris
Right.
22:07
Adam
So they don't like showering. You're right. What are you getting at?
22:10
Save Ferris
No. You know, they have...
22:12
Adam
Oh, they're open sexually...
22:13
Save Ferris
.topless beaches and stuff in Morocco or whatever. She's French Moroccan, so she's not... But the thing is, is that I love my sister so much. I was just like, yeah, you know, shower time. But then when I was like, you know, 13 or 14, she was like, um, maybe it's time to reconsider showering, you know, with me.
22:30
Adam
After she floated the line, that's not the loofah.
22:37
Drew
Mental note, next time Adam consumes alcohol before broadcasting, have him killed.
22:40
Save Ferris
No, but you know what? It's a really great thing because it made me very comfortable with my body and with the human body. I'm not like, it made me very un-tight about it.
22:48
Adam
What was up with your sister? 25 and the 14 year old younger sister.
22:53
Save Ferris
Well, to her it was no big deal either, you know? Like, she's not embarrassed by her body.
22:59
Adam
I know, but it's just, I don't, I don't know.
23:00
Drew
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
23:01
Adam
Yeah, okay. So, Drew, three is okay, but what?
23:04
Drew
Four is, you know. You don't get uptight about it. It's time to be thinking about, you know, wrapping that up.
23:08
Adam
Right. Sponge bath though, at what age? When would that stop?
23:12
Drew
When did the daughter stop giving dad a sponge bath?
23:14
Adam
Yeah.
23:15
Drew
That's got to go throughout life.
23:16
Adam
There you go. All right, Save Ferris is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Unfortunately, we'll be in here Sunday night with Larry Flint, which I wasn't counting on, but I guess I knew all along. We're going to come back. We'll hear something from Save Ferris. We're also going to hear something from Governor Jesse the Body Ventura, who I'm going to go cue that up right now. All right, all after this.
23:44
Caller
We'll be right back with more Loveline.
24:15
Adam
Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Save Ferris is our guest tonight, T-Bone, Brian, and Monique Carolla. Here from the band, we're going to take one more call, and then we'll hear something from Save Ferris. Oh, man. Sir Norman?
24:32
Drew
Sir Norman.
24:33
Adam
Sir Norman. What's up?
24:35
Caller
Hey, big fan of you guys, big fan of the Man Show.
24:37
Adam
Thank you.
24:39
Caller
I got a question for Dr. Drew.
24:41
Caller
I had blue balls for like two days.
24:43
Drew
What does that mean?
24:44
Blue balls like nuts, they swell up.
24:47
Drew
They swelled up?
24:48
Caller
Yeah.
24:49
Caller
From having sex too much, I guess. And it like, it just doesn't go down.
24:54
Drew
They swelled up?
24:55
Adam
You had sex too much without an orgasm?
24:58
Caller
I had an orgasm and all that.
25:00
Caller
It was just that, man, it just was overpowering.
25:04
Drew
You're going to have to, listen, Sir Norman, you're going to be very clear with me what happened here because whatever it is, it's not blue balls. So, you had a long period of a sexual encounter and falling which your testicles swelled up and became painful.
25:17
Adam
If you had an orgasm, it shouldn't be blue balls.
25:20
Drew
Yeah, blue balls means you couldn't, you weren't allowed to have an orgasm or something.
25:23
Adam
Sir Norman, you're speaking to the Duke of NADS. And I can tell you that if you have an orgasm, you shouldn't have the blue balls.
25:31
Drew
But if you have swelling and inflammation, pain in the testes, that's a pretty serious symptom. And that needs to be looked at by a doctor. I suspect it may be something called Epididymitis.
25:41
Adam
Have they gone down?
25:43
Caller
No.
25:44
Drew
No. You've got to get that both sides equally inflamed?
25:47
Caller
Yeah.
25:47
Drew
You've got to get that checked out.
25:48
Caller
That's Elephantitis, isn't it?
25:50
Drew
Well, Elephantiasis is caused by a small worm that penetrates your foot. It's in Africa and climbs up into the lymphatics here and blocks them off. I think it's Butcheraria bancrofti, if I remember.
26:02
Caller
The worm that gets in your foot?
26:04
Save Ferris
I didn't know that.
26:05
Adam
If you step in like a zebra dung or something, it gets in your right?
26:09
Drew
And it gets up into the lymphatics and blocks them all off. And so all the lymph blacks up into whatever.
26:15
Save Ferris
That's crazy.
26:16
Adam
Yeah, but does it happen sort of from the hips up? Or how does it work?
26:20
Drew
They typically get into the inguinal areas here. So it either blocks off the testes or the leg.
26:26
Adam
Jesus Christ. That Africa, what a dump. Seriously, I mean, it really is a mess over there. Isn't it?
26:33
Drew
I'm trying to remember what the organism is that does that.
26:35
Adam
Well, it doesn't matter. No one knows. Make one up for stone listeners. Who's going to call you on it? All right. We're going to hear something from Save Ferris. You queued up there, Engineer Anderson? Yes, you is. This one's called Mistaken. I'm gonna be mistaken from Save Ferris. And if I'm not mistaken, that was the song that Drew and I were supposed to do, the video for him, but the record was just ran out of money. I don't know what the story was, but...
30:21
Save Ferris
I'm still dreaming that it'll happen one day.
30:23
Adam
Could have been immortalized there, Drew. What do you say?
30:25
Drew
Could have been fine.
30:26
Adam
All right. It is Loveline, man. T1 Ryan Money, Ferris. We're gonna hop back on the phones. You have the Jesse Ventura thing figured out there, Anderson? Take one call. Take one call and then we'll hear what the great governor, Jesse Ventura, has to say about the man show. He's now a genius. Joe?
30:47
Yes.
30:48
Adam
You're 29. What's up?
30:49
Caller
Yes, I am. Okay. Last time I had sex with my girlfriend, it was last Friday, okay? And then today, I went to her house. We're gonna have sex again. And she really likes it when I touch her down there, okay? And when I went to go touch her down there, she was pretty swollen up down there. And I asked her about it. I'm like, hey, what's going on? And she didn't have any excuse for me. You know what I'm saying?
31:12
Drew
Yeah, Joe, how would you like it if she reached down into your genitalia and said, oh my god, what's that thing that's all swollen up there? How dare you? How dare you?
31:18
Adam
Hold on, she didn't have an excuse for being swollen up down there?
31:22
Caller
No, I mean, you know what I mean? It was kind of just swelled up.
31:25
Adam
No note or anything, nothing?
31:27
Caller
No.
31:28
Adam
Yeah.
31:28
Caller
So I kind of want to know, is it possible for it to swell up down there just for some other reason?
31:33
Adam
No, no. She was getting it on with a black guy, not even a white guy.
31:40
Caller
No, seriously.
31:40
Adam
No, seriously.
31:42
Caller
Really?
31:42
Adam
I am.
31:42
Caller
The only way it would be like that is if...
31:44
Adam
Large black man, 6'6, 6'8, somewhere in there. Sexually active or what? Had to be getting it on. Well, multiple guys, multiple black men. Not just one guy, not just one black man.
31:57
Caller
So that's the only thing that would cause that would be it?
31:59
Drew
Joe, please.
31:59
Adam
It's the only thing, from a scientific standpoint, it's the only thing that could have caused that. Right, Drew? Your doctor? Back me up?
32:05
Drew
I don't know. Joe, is English your first language?
32:08
Adam
She was all swolled up down there. Hey, Joe. Yeah. You're 29.
32:13
Drew
Come on.
32:14
Adam
Yeah. She could have just eaten some bad Thai food or something.
32:18
Drew
No, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
32:21
Adam
What?
32:22
Drew
Swelling is a normal function of arousal.
32:25
Adam
Oh, yeah. But he-
32:26
Drew
It's literally the equivalent of her putting her hand on his penis going, oh my God, that thing's swollen. What have you been up to?
32:32
Adam
But she was pre-swelled.
32:34
Drew
Swelled because he was just talking about how much she's aroused by that and likes that.
32:37
Adam
Joe?
32:38
Caller
Yeah.
32:39
Adam
Joe, maybe you did the swelling.
32:41
Caller
I'm hearing a whole bunch of people at the same time.
32:43
Adam
Doesn't matter. Joe, just listen to one voice.
32:46
Caller
What?
32:47
Adam
Maybe you swolled her up.
32:50
Caller
On last-minute Friday?
32:52
Drew
Joe.
32:53
Adam
No, no. That very day.
32:54
Drew
It's a normal response of arousal. That's what women are supposed to do.
33:00
Adam
Joe, you're some kind of retard.
33:01
Drew
I don't know how many times I can give the example of what if his area swelled up, which it normally does, and somebody were to react to that as, oh my God, what have you been up to?
33:08
Adam
Yeah. Joe, you've had wood before a woman has touched you, right? Right. All right. Same thing. All right, buddy? All right. She's not cheating. Okay. She's only performing oral sex on Black Men.
33:19
Drew
But Joe, you need to look into education, maybe some schooling.
33:23
Adam
Some education.
33:24
Save Ferris
Maybe that means she likes him a lot.
33:26
Drew
Yes.
33:26
Adam
Well, by the way. What's not to like about Joe? Monique, you're getting a little swolled up down there just hearing his voice, aren't you?
33:33
Save Ferris
Let me add, we didn't wash each other in the shower. We just showered. Like when you go to the health club or the Korean bath house, you don't, it's not a big deal.
33:42
Adam
I understand. I understand. Hey Anderson, you got that Jesse Ventura drop there? Talking about the man show? It's a minute. You want me to just play? It's a minute? Sure. Yeah. He's a genius, this man. Listen to what he had to say. He does a weekly radio show, by the way, out of Minnesota.
34:00
Best show on television, the man show.
34:02
Adam
Best show.
34:03
Caller
Oh, the best.
34:04
Caller
If you can take it as a joke.
34:05
What is it?
34:06
Caller
What is it? It's the man show. It's a show that...
34:09
A show for guys.
34:10
Caller
Yeah, it's a show that I am so surprised that the women's groups are not protesting it.
34:16
Caller
Is it on cable?
34:17
Caller
It's on the Comedy Chant.
34:18
Caller
The Comedy Chant.
34:18
Caller
Comedy Chant.
34:19
Caller
I'm writing this down.
34:20
Caller
9.30 on Wednesdays.
34:21
Caller
It's the most...
34:22
Caller
With me and my South Side buddies, the most popular show on TV. You know why?
34:27
Very politically incorrect.
34:28
Caller
Should we get in trouble now? Should I get in trouble now? Every show...
34:31
Caller
Take it easy.
34:32
Caller
Every show finishes with girls on trampolines.
34:37
Girls on trampolines.
34:38
Caller
I think that's safe as long as you don't go any further.
34:42
Adam
He's got my vote.
34:43
Caller
I'll bet your imagination.
34:44
Drew
It's about time for a break, isn't it?
34:46
Caller
Isn't it?
34:46
Caller
Not yet.
34:47
Drew
That's about right.
34:47
Caller
That's getting there. Just about there. Anyway, you know, I never thought I'd see Erika Carter of my communication staff is sitting in today. I've never seen Erika blush so much as this particular show.
35:00
Caller
Does Erika watch?
35:01
Caller
Do you watch the man, Joey?
35:02
Caller
Does Erika watch?
35:04
Caller
She's aware of it. She's aware. They all are. The First Lady watched it when she was down in Kentucky. No.
35:10
Adam
Well, that's his wife.
35:12
Caller
Oh. Anyway, stay with us. We'll open up for some phone calls.
35:16
Adam
Drew, don't be so disgusted that the First Lady saw the man show.
35:20
Drew
I thought Hillary Clinton.
35:21
Adam
No, he means the First Old Lady.
35:23
Drew
Yes.
35:23
Adam
He means his First Old Lady.
35:24
Save Ferris
Oh, come on. You know Hillary would have loved it. She would have been like, Oh, girls with trampolines.
35:29
Adam
No. Jesse Ventura, though, he's a genius, this man. I mean, he's really changing the nation. He really is.
35:35
Drew
I spent a little time up in Minnesota. You did. I'm really speaking for him.
35:38
Adam
Beautiful country over there. The man is a genius. We immediately sent him over some T-shirts.
35:43
Caller
This is how he came back from break.
35:46
Caller
All right. Welcome back to Lunch with the Governor or Promotion of the Man Show.
35:53
Adam
I didn't even hear that part when somebody sent us a tape. Oh, God, love that Jesse Ventura. All right. Erica is on the phone. Line six. Erica is 19 years old. Erica, what's up?
36:06
Hi. I want to say hi to Save Ferris. Hi, Monique. Hi. Hi, Brian. Hello. I love you guys. You don't know how much.
36:13
Save Ferris
Thank you. Thank you.
36:14
We saw you a couple of weeks ago in Ventura. We went last week to San Diego. You guys are so awesome.
36:19
Save Ferris
Oh, thank you.
36:20
Me and my boyfriend, we were right there in the front. Monique, you came down, you sang to my boyfriend. Do you remember?
36:24
I don't know if I remember.
36:26
Adam
Yeah, she remembers.
36:27
Oh, my God. It was awesome.
36:30
Save Ferris
Thank you. I was singing to you, too.
36:32
We're going to be at the show, too, in Fullerton.
36:34
Adam
Oh, my God.
36:35
Save Ferris
Awesome.
36:36
We're diehard. We're going to go everywhere.
36:37
Save Ferris
That's awesome.
36:39
I want to ask you guys about, I have like your first album and songs like Spam, I know they don't get played anymore. I was just wondering about different influences that you had back then as opposed to the songs you're right now.
36:53
Caller
Yeah. Now, basically, what we did with our first record was just more like what we were coming out of our local scene. The style of songs that we were into was more ska and swing. With the last record, we basically want to push the envelope and just experiment with different styles and just add different elements that we hadn't done before.
37:12
Save Ferris
But it's not that we don't play spam anymore. It's that we're just putting it on hold for a little while.
37:18
Right.
37:19
Caller
Playing some of the new stuff.
37:20
Yeah. I love the new stuff too, though.
37:22
Adam
Hey, Erica, you're going to see them on the Warped Tour this summer?
37:25
I have to. They have to come closer to California, but I'll travel if I have to.
37:29
Save Ferris
But we're doing a lot of shows around here, college dates and whatnot.
37:33
Adam
Warped Tour is going to be in LA, isn't it?
37:36
Save Ferris
We're not playing those. I wish we were, but we're not. Yeah.
37:42
Adam
I hear the great Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, the second funniest man on earth is on Line 7. Jimmy?
37:50
Caller
Hey, I don't want to be a conspiracy theorist, but I can't help but notice that somebody edited out that the man shows the greatest show on television.
38:00
Adam
Oh, yeah. Hey, Anderson, where is that line where Jesse says it's the greatest show on television?
38:06
Caller
It's 12 minutes long. I mean, we can just play that all night if we want to.
38:09
Caller
How many times have I told you to fire that Anderson?
38:12
Adam
A thousand.
38:13
Drew
Jesus, Jimmy, you're loaded, too.
38:15
Adam
Well, I went out with Jimmy tonight.
38:17
Drew
No kidding. He's like slurring his speech.
38:19
Adam
Oh, please.
38:20
Drew
Conspiracy. He's paranoid.
38:22
Adam
Please, Drew, you're next. Hey, Jimmy, that's a very valid point. In my drunken stupor, I forgot about that.
38:32
Caller
I figured you didn't catch it, but believe me, Daniel and I are listening, and we caught it right on.
38:37
Adam
All right.
38:37
Caller
Best show on television.
38:38
Caller
Also, Drew, I need more physical from you. I'll be in tomorrow morning.
38:44
Adam
Yeah, he's in horrible shape. You should see him.
38:46
Caller
I'm in horrible shape.
38:47
Drew
Well, because you're working too hard?
38:49
Adam
He mainlined a cannoli tonight.
38:53
Caller
I want you to check every crevice.
38:55
Drew
You know what happens every time you see me.
38:58
Caller
Well, yeah, I know what happens.
39:00
Adam
The penis well shut.
39:01
Drew
Somebody cram something up something.
39:03
Caller
That's a defense mechanism.
39:06
Adam
Hey, Jimmy, Drew saw your monkey wife bit tonight and laughed hysterically.
39:11
Drew
Oh my God.
39:12
Caller
God bless you.
39:13
Drew
Well, at times I was watching in Likus' office, Tom Likus' office, and I was at times repel, repulsed. I fell back into his desk.
39:22
Caller
I'm not proud of it, but it's kind of funny.
39:24
Drew
And the rest of the time I was laughing like a hyena. Good.
39:26
Caller
I think I might have caught some aids off that monkey. So I need to get in that office of yours.
39:33
Adam
First thing tomorrow morning. So Jimmy, what did we miss that Jesse said?
39:38
Caller
That it was the best show on television.
39:40
Adam
Wait a minute.
39:41
Drew
We had that. We heard that.
39:43
Caller
It's the very first thing I played.
39:44
Adam
Oh, but you played it too softly. Play it one more time, Anderson.
39:48
Drew
Listen.
39:49
Caller
Best show on television, The Man.
39:51
Caller
There you go. There you go.
39:52
Best show on television, The Man Show.
39:54
Adam
There you go.
39:54
Caller
Best show on television, The Man Show. All right.
39:57
Adam
We're going to put that on a loop. You can go to sleep by, Jimmy.
40:01
Caller
I appreciate that.
40:01
Adam
All right, buddy. I'll see you in the morning.
40:03
Caller
All right.
40:03
Adam
Don't let Kellison drive.
40:05
Caller
All right.
40:05
Adam
We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll run to the next room. I'm going to show Save Ferris, the Jimmy monkey bit. We'll all be immensely entertained. We'll be back with Save Ferris after this.
40:16
Drew
Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.
40:20
Adam
Well, it's worth hearing. Hey, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. T-Bone Brian and Monique are all here. From Save Ferris, one of our very favorite bands. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew, what's up there, buddy?
41:10
Drew
Page.
41:10
Adam
Oh, Drew got a page.
41:11
Drew
May be excused for a second.
41:12
Adam
No, you can return it in six, seven minutes. What do you think the average page return time is? Do you know what I mean? Even for a doctor. No, even for a doctor.
41:22
Drew
You get used to doing it in like one minute.
41:23
Adam
I'd say it's about five minutes.
41:24
Drew
It's probably a lot longer than most people. When you get a physician, you get used to doing it in one minute.
41:28
Adam
All right. Well, the point is, well, we're going to go to break in about six. You'll be fine, right? Who'd you get a page from?
41:33
Drew
I don't know. That's why I'm concerned.
41:34
Adam
All right. Go deal with your page. But listen, if you're not back in a minute and a half, we're going to pee on your computer. Wait a second. Is that sound fair? All right, deal. You guys ready? Checking. And go! There we go. Back the phones. You guys enjoy Jimmy's Monkey Wives?
41:52
Caller
I can't believe they're going to let you show that on TV.
41:54
Adam
Well, I'm not sure they are. We'll have to get into that.
41:58
Caller
That's a classic.
41:58
Adam
Dana? That's right. Oh, that's my lovely partner, Jimmy. Dana, you're 17 years old. What's up?
42:07
Caller
Yeah, I'm afraid to be with a guy because this guy tried to drug me to have sex with him.
42:13
Adam
How do you know?
42:14
Caller
Because he gave me a tic-tac and it was acid. When I put it in my mouth, it wasn't sweet.
42:19
Adam
Well, some of those tic-tacs are acid, like the cinnamon ones. Did you put it in your mouth?
42:27
Caller
Yeah, but I spit it out.
42:28
Adam
Right, because it didn't taste right?
42:30
Caller
It didn't taste right.
42:33
Adam
You spit it out. How do you know it was acid though?
42:36
Caller
My friend told me because she was taking it.
42:38
Adam
I see. This just happened one time with one guy?
42:43
Caller
Yeah, and I'm scared to be with any guy.
42:46
Adam
Why?
42:47
Caller
Because it gave me the impression that guys are like pigs and they just want to have sex with me.
42:53
Adam
Yeah, but unless your dad did this to you when you were seven, it shouldn't have left that impression. I mean, it should have left the impression that this one guy is an idiot, and you got to be careful who you hang out with. But not that all guys are evil and trying to drug you and have sex. It's really only about 50% of guys who are trying to drug you and have sex. On a national average, sure.
43:15
Caller
Yeah, I mean, I have a boyfriend, but I have a boyfriend.
43:18
Adam
Is he trying to drug you and have sex?
43:20
Caller
He always wants to, but you don't want to have sex?
43:23
Adam
You've never had sex with him?
43:25
Caller
Yes.
43:26
Adam
You have, but you don't want to have sex with him that often?
43:30
Caller
Not anymore.
43:31
Adam
After the tic tac incident? But it wasn't him. So what's really up with you?
43:39
Caller
I don't know. It's scary.
43:41
Adam
I mean, there's more than this though, right?
43:43
Caller
No.
43:43
Adam
There has to be. Well, then you're really stupid.
43:47
Save Ferris
Well, she's like 15, right?
43:49
Adam
No, she's 17.
43:50
Save Ferris
She's 17.
43:51
Adam
I don't know.
43:51
Save Ferris
That could be kind of scary if you don't know anything about drugs and you trust people and then-
43:57
Adam
I admit it's scary, but-
43:58
Save Ferris
Your trust is completely betrayed.
44:00
Adam
I know, but I admit it's scary, but it's like you've got no car accidents, you can never drive again, you know what I mean?
44:08
Save Ferris
Well, she'll eventually get over it, I'm sure.
44:11
Drew
One of the things about post-traumatic stress reactions is-
44:14
Adam
This isn't a post-traumatic stress risk. She didn't take it.
44:17
Caller
Actually, my cousin did die in a car accident because he was high.
44:21
Adam
Well, now we're getting closer.
44:24
Drew
But the degree to which somebody has symptoms is determined by the condition they arrive at the event with. In other words, the pre-morbid condition, how you come to a traumatic incidence determines the symptoms that follow.
44:38
Adam
Okay. So, how's your life beside or beyond the Tic Tac incident? How's your family?
44:46
Caller
Wonderful. I love my mom and dad.
44:47
Adam
Everything's wonderful?
44:48
Caller
Yeah. Nothing happened to me.
44:49
Adam
Good. Fine. Then get over it. Because listen, if everything's wonderful in her family, she loves her mom and dad to death, and one time at a party, a guy slipped her Tic Tac that she spat out of her mouth because it tasted funny, and learned later may have had acid in it, she should get over it. If that's it, then get over it. I'm not examining it, and I'm taking her at her word. If she loves her mom and dad and everything's wonderful, then fine, get over it. See, I'm outsmarting our listeners now, Drew, by using their own retarded logic on them. Dustin?
45:21
Yeah.
45:21
Adam
You're 21.
45:22
Caller
Yeah. I found some divorce papers in my wife's car, like probably two months ago, but she said they're from a couple months back.
45:32
Drew
Were you guys having trouble a couple months back?
45:34
Caller
Yeah, she says from a couple months back, when we weren't really getting along very good, and she says she doesn't want to get divorced right now anymore.
45:42
Caller
Just in case she's got them in the car.
45:44
Adam
That's great.
45:45
Caller
She's ready to go.
45:46
Adam
Yeah.
45:47
Caller
She's ready to go.
45:49
Adam
That's interesting. Well, a lot of women will keep an extra set in the glove box.
45:53
Drew
What was going on that caused her to want the divorce?
45:55
Adam
In case they get pulled over.
45:57
Caller
We've been together since high school, and we have a two-year-old, and we just won't really get along anymore. We're just kind of together because we have a kid together.
46:08
Drew
What was her issue?
46:10
Caller
Her issue?
46:11
Drew
Why was she wanting to divorce you? Other than that, you've been together for no good reason.
46:15
Caller
We just weren't getting along. We'll go through spurts where a month at a time, we just get along awful, and we'll just be picking every little thing in each other.
46:24
Adam
Maybe you should get a divorce.
46:27
Caller
Well, that's what I'm thinking. I don't really want to mess up my child. I don't know if it would be better to stick it out.
46:32
Drew
How about getting some other sort of therapeutic intervention to see if there's some...
46:36
Caller
Like going to marriage counseling?
46:37
Drew
Yeah, some place, some healthy place you guys can arrive at and sort of give your child an example of an appropriate, intimate relationship rather than a very painful, tumultuous, fractured one.
46:50
Caller
Right.
46:50
Adam
Okay.
46:51
Caller
Yeah.
46:52
Adam
All right. You know what you need to do? Do you want to do sort of even the score with her?
46:56
Caller
What's that?
46:57
Adam
Get some prostitute paperwork and leave it on the bench seat of your truck. Let her find that. Touché.
47:07
Caller
She went to Reno and I cheated on her.
47:10
Adam
Okay.
47:10
Caller
Good.
47:10
Adam
Oh, see.
47:11
Okay. You got her back.
47:12
Adam
No problem.
47:13
Save Ferris
There you go.
47:13
Adam
Square it up. Now, I won't screw up the kid.
47:15
Caller
You should tell her then.
47:16
Adam
Yeah. It's important to tell her. I would have her hire a third-party to tell her professional spokesman type.
47:25
Caller
I see.
47:26
Adam
I see.
47:26
Caller
Get a plane, you can fly it on a sign.
47:28
Adam
That's right.
47:28
Caller
Yeah.
47:29
Adam
Get one of those banners. Next time she goes to the beach, you can say, I banged a hooker while you were in Reno.
47:36
Caller
I didn't have to pay for it, but.
47:37
Adam
Oh, really?
47:38
Caller
No.
47:39
Adam
Free prostitutes?
47:40
Caller
No. I had to get her pretty drunk and then she gave it up.
47:45
Caller
Did you slip her the tic-tac?
47:47
Caller
That's the question.
47:48
Adam
Was it a hooker?
47:50
Caller
No.
47:50
Save Ferris
It sounds like he slipped her his tic-tac.
47:52
Caller
It was a girl.
47:53
Adam
I see. All right, Dustin. I'll see you in hell. Okay, buddy?
47:57
Caller
All right. Bye.
47:58
Adam
Bye-bye. We're going to take a little break and save Ferris is here. I've never slipped a gal a tic-tac. I did slide one the chapstick once though. You know, Sandra. Yeah. We'll take a little break. You're all class. Yeah. We'll be back after this.
48:16
Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
48:22
Caller
We'll be right back.
48:50
Adam
Yep, it is Loveline. We're going to take a quick 10-second timeout. We'll be back with more of the program in just 10 seconds.
48:59
Caller
This is Loveline on Radio Station.
49:13
Caller
Best show on television.
49:15
Adam
That's right. That's Jesse Ventura. Not the second best, not in the top 10, just the best show on television. T-Bone Brian and Monique are all here from Save Ferris. Dr. Drew is here, although he's busily filling out some paperwork that the man has put before him.
49:30
Drew
The man, I'm telling you.
49:31
Adam
Drew, don't fill that out. I told you not to write that.
49:33
Drew
I'm just writing my stuff. We'll see what they want us to do.
49:36
Adam
All right. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. We're going to hear something else from Save Ferris before too long, but first, we'll get back on the phones. Mike, you're 15. What's up?
49:50
Caller
First, Monique, I heard that you went out with, like, El Jefe from Northampton.
49:56
Caller
El Jefe.
49:59
Save Ferris
Wow.
50:00
Adam
Is that true? Sounds like, yeah. It seems like it would be true because there's a long pause in there.
50:06
Save Ferris
No, but he turned me on when he told the entire audience on the Warped Tour that my feet smelled like Doritos.
50:12
Adam
Oh, really? Yeah.
50:14
Save Ferris
And I had black pepper under my armpits.
50:16
Adam
That's high praise.
50:18
Save Ferris
No, actually, I love that guy, but no, I never dated him.
50:21
Caller
Okay. Well, about three weeks ago, I bleached my pubes and now I have, like, white bumps and they're kind of like zits, except for they don't have anything inside them.
50:33
Drew
Well, there's some sort of folliculitis you've caused through the chemical irritation.
50:37
Adam
How'd you bleach them?
50:39
Caller
Okay. You have a powder and then you mix it with peroxide. And then you put in this applicator and then you just put it on your hair.
50:48
Save Ferris
I think it was just too strong. Did you use, like, a 30 or a 40 volume?
50:53
Caller
I used a 30.
50:54
Save Ferris
Yeah, it's too strong.
50:55
Adam
Too strong for the pubes?
50:56
Save Ferris
I need to use a 10.
50:58
Drew
Did you have the reaction one time?
51:00
Save Ferris
What? Yeah. No, I didn't have the... but, you know.
51:05
Drew
Oh, hi, Mom.
51:05
Save Ferris
I know a little bit about their coloring.
51:08
Adam
Did it bother your sister when you took those showers with her? Hey, Mike, you're 15.
51:15
Caller
Yeah.
51:16
Adam
Why are you dying the pubes at 15?
51:19
Caller
I don't know.
51:20
Adam
Don't you have a peachy folder to doodle on? You have to experiment on your own junk?
51:25
Save Ferris
I think it's totally punk.
51:27
Caller
I think it's cool.
51:28
Adam
Oh, please. Mike, no one sees your pubes. All right. All right.
51:32
Drew
We hope not anyway.
51:34
Adam
Bye. I'm worried. I really, a lot of my creative energy was spent turning the peachy folder into a work of art, like the guys running track into gang members carrying knives and chasing one another. I don't think kids today have peachy folders, and I don't think they doodle on them like we do, and I think it kept us out of trouble.
51:53
Caller
That's why society is on the downhill because there it is.
51:55
Adam
Because the peachy folder is not being doodled on. The kids are bored, they hit the streets, and next thing you know, they're holding up old folks at the ATM.
52:03
Caller
Beginning of the end.
52:04
Adam
Howard?
52:05
Caller
Yo.
52:06
Adam
You're 28. What's up?
52:08
Caller
Hey, I had a question for Dr. Drew. By the way, you guys are a kick-ass. I just have to tell you that.
52:13
Adam
Us?
52:14
Caller
Yeah.
52:14
Adam
Thanks.
52:14
Caller
You guys are awesome.
52:15
Adam
Great.
52:16
Caller
I just had a question for Dr. Drew. My wife, we have two children, and she's been on birth control since we had our second one. He's two and a half. And we've been trying to have a third one since January, so we got off the pill in January, but we have not gotten successful.
52:33
Drew
How quickly did you get pregnant the first couple of times?
52:35
Caller
The first one was a honeymoon baby. After they go on weekends, we got married.
52:40
Drew
Usually within six months, most people are sort of reestablished their previous cyclings.
52:45
Adam
That's the average when you've been on the pill?
52:50
Drew
I don't know that's an average, but pretty much everybody has reestablished themselves. By six months.
52:54
Adam
Does it make a difference whether you're on the pill for a year or ten years in terms of reestablishing your regularity down there?
53:01
Drew
I would imagine it would, but I don't know that for a fact.
53:03
Adam
Okay. Who's the doctor? Look into that.
53:06
Eric? Yes?
53:09
Adam
You're 18. What's up?
53:12
Caller
I think I'm addicted to shoplifting. I like to go to Target and shoplift candy and battery and all kinds of stuff.
53:20
Drew
You know, in my experience, people that do that compulsively, in my experience anyway, usually have an addictive history or at least a family history of addiction. Have you ever been addicted to anything?
53:30
Caller
Yeah.
53:30
Drew
What were you addicted to?
53:32
Caller
I've been addicted to porn, to masturbation.
53:35
Drew
How about to a chemical?
53:36
Caller
Chemical? Yeah. TV? I don't know.
53:42
Adam
Chemical like-
53:44
Drew
Drugs.
53:44
Adam
Chlorine or something.
53:45
Drew
Alcohol.
53:46
Adam
Oh yeah.
53:46
Drew
No, no. Is there any alcohols in your family?
53:48
Caller
No. Yeah. My father drinks.
53:52
Drew
I suspect that you have that biology. Now, again, when I usually see this, what you're describing is when people are coming off drugs, and their brain is so used to using those thrill mechanisms, those types of reward mechanisms to manage feelings, that people compulsively do things like steal.
54:09
Adam
But you're not doing that, Eric. I mean, you're not coming off a drug, are you?
54:13
Caller
No, I'm not doing drugs at all.
54:14
Drew
Then you've never done any?
54:16
Caller
I've never done drugs at all.
54:17
Adam
Well, and Drew, though, I'm hip. I mean, a lot of people who are on drugs steal to support their habits.
54:24
Drew
Well, but he's not doing it for any purpose. He's just doing it compulsively. And there are other compulsions. You can, when it's interesting, I rarely see people that have the behavioral compulsions, which are known to exist out there without first having it sort of triggered by some pharmacologic activity.
54:38
Adam
Hey, Eric.
54:39
Drew
You were that, Eric.
54:40
Adam
Well, maybe it's a true klepto.
54:41
Drew
No, a true addict. He's an addict that hasn't, you know, that there's...
54:44
Adam
Oh, Drew, everyone's an addict. Please. Drew, hey, Eric?
54:47
Caller
Yeah.
54:48
Adam
How often do you go out and steal?
54:50
Caller
Uh, once or twice a week.
54:52
Adam
And you just do it for the thrill?
54:54
Caller
I just do it for the thrill, yeah.
54:55
Adam
But, yeah, you steal stuff you want, right?
54:58
Caller
Yeah.
54:59
Adam
And you use that stuff, right?
55:00
Caller
Yeah, I use that stuff. I get stuff on my bicycle.
55:04
Adam
You get stuff for your bicycle?
55:05
Caller
Yeah.
55:07
Adam
How old are you?
55:08
Caller
I'm 18.
55:08
Adam
Oh, 18. All right. Pretty soon you're going to move up to a big wheel. What do you steal for your bicycle?
55:14
Caller
I steal those computer things that measure how much the speed is going for my bicycle.
55:22
Adam
Oh, I see. All right. He's a klepto triathlete.
55:27
Drew
Well, there will be consequences.
55:29
Adam
You haven't gotten busted yet?
55:31
Drew
Yes, I have.
55:32
Adam
You have? Yes. You're going to get busted again and then you'll be screwed.
55:37
Drew
He said he's a sex addict too, though. He's compulsive, masturbator, whatnot. What? Are you addicted to the Internet porn?
55:44
Caller
Internet porn? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:45
Adam
Well, he's thinking about stealing a computer next week and then he's going to get into that.
55:48
Save Ferris
Can I ask you something? What classifies a man as sex addicted though? It's like how far he has to go.
55:56
Drew
Family history of addiction, progression, consequences. That really fits it.
56:02
Adam
But it's not being horny.
56:04
Drew
It's doing stuff that has consequences.
56:05
Save Ferris
But like how many magazines do you have to have?
56:09
Drew
Enough to make it a financial stress or screw up a relationship or take your time away from more productive activities and then still be positive, still increasing.
56:19
Adam
One of the yardsticks also, Drew, correct me if I'm wrong, is showering with a sibling. Would that be one of the caveats?
56:26
Drew
Yes, they all start the night.
56:27
Save Ferris
I told you, it's just like going to the gym, you know, everybody's naked in the sauna.
56:32
Drew
They're dying their pubic hair and everything.
56:34
Adam
That's right, dying the pubes, showering with the cysts.
56:37
Save Ferris
I wanted people to know I was a real redhead.
56:41
Adam
Zoma, hey, Drew, would you tilt that goddamn screen down, please? You just have me break my neck trying to read that every night, won't you? Zoma, you're 19, what's up?
56:52
Caller
Oh, she's in trouble.
56:54
Caller
Heard that.
56:57
Drew
Put mom on.
57:00
Caller
Wow.
57:06
Drew
Let's talk to mom.
57:06
Adam
She's a, her mom is a Carmen Zapata. Zoma, put your mom on, would you? Zoma.
57:49
Drew
Let's talk to her sister for a second.
57:51
Adam
How old is your sister, Zoma? Put your sister on the phone.
57:54
Caller
Why?
57:55
Adam
I'd like to talk to her.
57:57
Caller
Why?
57:57
Drew
Just for a second. We'll get right back to you, Zoma.
58:00
Caller
No, that's okay.
58:02
Adam
Where's your sister go?
58:03
Caller
They want to talk to Rosalie.
58:05
Drew
Rosalie.
58:05
Caller
Rosalie.
58:07
Caller
No, we quiet.
58:08
Adam
All right. Zoma.
58:12
Caller
Don't leave.
58:13
Adam
Zoma, focus over here, please.
58:15
Caller
I'm coming out the room.
58:17
Adam
Okay. Zoma.
58:18
Caller
Yes.
58:19
Adam
That's your question.
58:20
Caller
I'm sorry.
58:21
Adam
You're 19 years old.
58:23
Caller
Yes. Oh, boy.
58:25
Adam
That's sister of yours.
58:28
Drew
She's a singer, if that's my voice.
58:31
Caller
All right. Okay. First, I wanted to ask you. I have a real big question.
58:36
Adam
On who?
58:37
Caller
You.
58:38
Adam
On me?
58:38
Caller
Yes.
58:39
Adam
Good. I'll date you if you kill your sister.
58:42
Caller
No, like, I'm really religious. I can't have this thing. Are you anti-Christ?
58:47
Adam
No.
58:48
Drew
He is the anti-Christ, yes.
58:49
Adam
No, please. I'm pro-Satan. I'm not anti-Christ. There's a difference.
58:54
Caller
Please.
58:55
Caller
You are?
58:57
Adam
Listen, I just think-
58:57
Caller
You're an atheist?
58:58
Adam
I think Satan is misunderstood and he gets a bad rap.
59:01
Caller
That's all I'm saying.
59:02
Adam
And he's not around to defend himself, so I'll speak for him.
59:06
Caller
That's bad. Okay. Anyways. Well, I'm in college, right?
59:13
Adam
Really?
59:15
Caller
And this guy, he's in my building.
59:19
Adam
Listen, everyone's in your goddamn building. Get your sister out of that room. Do you have some-
59:24
Caller
He's in the hallway.
59:25
Adam
Do you have some pepper spray or something?
59:28
Caller
Just listen to me.
59:29
Adam
Okay.
59:30
Caller
And like we ride the trolley together because he's on my building and he's like telling me stuff.
59:36
Adam
Where are you from, Mr. Roger's neighborhood? Where's the trolley?
59:41
Caller
I don't have a car.
59:42
Drew
What's a trolley in San Francisco?
59:44
Adam
Are you in San Francisco?
59:46
Caller
No, I go to CSUN.
59:49
Adam
There's a trolley in Northridge? Yeah.
59:51
Save Ferris
We're playing there in a couple days.
59:53
Adam
What? You're confused. You ride a transvestite. That's different.
59:58
Drew
The metro line has now been called a trolley?
1:00:00
Caller
Yes, that's what they call it.
1:00:02
Adam
They'll do anything to get a few idiots to get on that thing.
1:00:05
Caller
Yeah.
1:00:05
Adam
Please. All right. Jesus Christ. Hey, Zoma, would you tell your fat sister to shut the f up, please?
1:00:15
Caller
Angie, be quiet.
1:00:16
Drew
Angie is another one.
1:00:17
Caller
I got a father and a sister.
1:00:19
Adam
Dear Lord. How long ago did your father kill himself? Seriously? My God, the mouths on those women. Please shut them up.
1:00:30
Caller
See, here comes the next one.
1:00:33
Adam
All right, Zoma. So you ride the trolley to see son and then what?
1:00:39
Drew
They need to be after a beer.
1:00:48
Adam
Listen. Zoma.
1:00:52
Caller
What?
1:00:55
Adam
Listen, put your sister Takiza on the fuck. All right, listen, we're going to put you on hold until the family goes to sleep, all right? Oh, now the phone is ringing.
1:01:12
Caller
Just hold on a second.
1:01:14
Adam
My God.
1:01:16
Caller
That was so hectic.
1:01:17
Adam
They all live in one big hallway. Did you hear that? There's a pandemonium over there. Jesus Christ. Five sisters and they never stop talking.
1:01:25
Save Ferris
I do not condone a word he's saying.
1:01:27
Adam
Can you imagine that? Whitney.
1:01:30
Caller
Hi.
1:01:30
Adam
You're 15.
1:01:31
Caller
Yes.
1:01:32
Adam
What's up?
1:01:33
Caller
Hi. Happy Passover, Mo. I thank you. Peace.
1:01:36
Caller
I have a question for you guys, the band. When are you guys releasing your new single? Isn't it supposed to be Turn It Up? I saw on the website that you're supposed to release it, and I was really excited because that's like my favorite song off your new album.
1:01:49
Caller
But I haven't heard it anywhere on the radio.
1:01:52
Save Ferris
Well.
1:01:54
Adam
We're supposed to be in that video too, by the way. What's up with that, Monique?
1:02:00
Save Ferris
I strongly suggest everybody who likes Save Ferris start calling their local radio stations and requesting that you hear us on the radio. What's going on? Okay.
1:02:08
Adam
Drew is speaking to them.
1:02:09
Save Ferris
I strongly suggest that.
1:02:10
Drew
What do you need to tell us? What's happening?
1:02:12
Save Ferris
Actually, there's really nothing to say other than the fact that, well, here's really what it ties into, is that women aren't doing so well in alternative right now. And it's a sad time for us. That's so awesome.
1:02:25
Caller
I love you guys. You're my favorite ever.
1:02:26
Save Ferris
Thank you. And unfortunately, a lot of people at radio don't see that. And it's kind of sad because, like...
1:02:37
Adam
Yeah, we're playing it.
1:02:38
Save Ferris
It's kind of sad. It's kind of... We've kind of been taken back about ten years, which is kind of sad. And I know it's going to change. I just hope it changes sooner than later.
1:02:46
Adam
Well, what do you attribute it to?
1:02:49
Save Ferris
I attribute it to the... It just happens to be man's time right now.
1:02:55
Adam
Well, was it a woman's time three years ago or two years ago?
1:03:01
Save Ferris
Well, I know that there was just this whole female explosion a couple of years ago with the Lilith Fair and everything, which is since no longer. But...
1:03:09
Caller
I've been calling Kate Rock, and I've been suggesting you guys, and I wrote to a couple of magazines to get some hype about you guys.
1:03:16
Save Ferris
Well, it's not that we're not working. I mean, we're working our butts off right now. We're getting as much work as we did before. It's just that we're not as prominent a force in radio as we were a couple of years ago when women were at the forefront of alternative.
1:03:32
Adam
Well, you know what? I want to do something about that because I'd like to play Save Ferris song. I mean, I have the power to do that. Can we do that?
1:03:40
Drew
Let's do it.
1:03:41
Adam
Yeah, let's do it. Hey, Whitney? Yes. Thanks.
1:03:43
Save Ferris
Thanks, Whitney.
1:03:44
Adam
Thanks for writing the letter.
1:03:46
Save Ferris
Thank you so much.
1:03:47
Adam
And thanks for writing the... What magazine did you write it to?
1:03:50
Caller
I've just been writing to like teen magazines and stuff because they have a lot of influence on people and what they listen to.
1:03:57
Drew
By the way, people who write letters have an enormous influence on the media. Oh, God, do they? I agree. It's insane. Jesus Christ.
1:04:02
Save Ferris
There's actually something coming out in teen style soon.
1:04:04
Adam
A whole network will go into a tailspin over one letter. Oh, there is?
1:04:06
Save Ferris
Yeah. For teen style? Yeah, like for teen style, like a little thing in teen style.
1:04:14
Adam
Well, maybe that was because of Whitney's letter writing campaign. Hey, Whitney?
1:04:18
Save Ferris
But I have to say...
1:04:19
Caller
If the magazine listens to me or something, maybe they'll influence other people.
1:04:23
Save Ferris
I would like that, too, and I let this be a word to everybody who likes women in alternative music, you know, to become an active force now to bring us back, because I don't want us to be another dying breed.
1:04:36
Adam
Well, you know, to me, it's either something's good or it's not. I don't understand the whole trend of everything. I mean, I just did an interview with Us magazine today, and it's always a little bit condescending and insulting when they do that, do you attribute the success of Fill in the Blank to the recent trend of, you know, you know, they always do that.
1:05:00
Save Ferris
And that's the ridiculousness of it all, and that's why I didn't want to do the Lilith Fair, you know, it was because I don't, I mean, I think we should celebrate music, and the fact that it's a language that crosses all gender and language barriers, and that it doesn't need to be stuck in a little tiny, you know, corner like that. This is the year of women in rock. Well, all right, but there's always a backlash to that.
1:05:26
Adam
There is.
1:05:27
Save Ferris
Next year is going to be the year of men in rock, and where am I going to be then?
1:05:32
Adam
So with El Ducchi? Wait a minute. El Jefe.
1:05:38
Save Ferris
In Kid Rock's dressing room, in a bikini with a beer.
1:05:41
Adam
There you go.
1:05:41
Save Ferris
Which is totally cool with me, but I'd rather be on the radio. Right.
1:05:46
Adam
Well, I think-
1:05:47
Save Ferris
Or at least playing for our fans.
1:05:48
Adam
I think the media overhypes things, and then they go too hard against it. There'd be a little more common ground. But anyway, we're going to even the playing field right here by playing a Save Ferris song. You queued up there, Mr. Anderson? Good. This one is called Turn It Up. Another great Save Ferris song. Who says they don't get played on the radio?
1:09:11
Save Ferris
Thanks, Adam.
1:09:12
Adam
We have a Save Ferris here, at least close to half of them. Yeah. We're going to take ourselves a little break for a change. We'll take a break on time. We'll be back. When we come back, we'll speak to Craven who's 18, went down on his girlfriend and thinks she has an extra large clitoris. Wants to know what normal size is. We'll ask Monique what size her sister's is after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew. Unfortunately, Larry Flint will be in here Sunday night, which means we'll be in here Sunday night. That would be Easter Sunday, which I don't think we're supposed to be working, Drew. I really don't. I got myself all geared up for a nice Sunday at home watching. What's on Sunday night? Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, then Disney. What is on? I haven't watched Sunday night television in a while.
1:10:45
Caller
Now my testicles got ants on it.
1:10:49
Adam
Is Marlon Perkins still alive? Is he still in the bush?
1:10:52
Drew
I don't think so.
1:10:53
Adam
I'm going to have to check the TV guide. T-Bone, Brian and Monique are all here from Save Ferris. We're going to get back on the phones and speak to Craven. It was 18. Craven, is that your name?
1:11:05
Caller
Yeah, that's it, buddy.
1:11:06
Adam
Your parents named you Craven?
1:11:09
Caller
Very cruel joke.
1:11:11
Adam
Yeah, let's name our kid Cowardly.
1:11:14
Caller
Yeah, I mean Craven, just imagine Craven and anything after that, Craven homosexuals.
1:11:21
Adam
No, but it's not even that. Craven just means cowardly.
1:11:24
Caller
You think so?
1:11:26
Adam
Yeah.
1:11:26
Drew
Really? Give me that dictionary.
1:11:27
Adam
Sure. Hold on a second. You don't even know what... Well, I don't know if they spell it with a K. I think it's with a C.
1:11:33
Caller
Yeah, but I mean it sounds a different way.
1:11:37
Adam
Look up Craven there with a C, Drew, and we'll see if it doesn't mean yellow-bellied or cowardly.
1:11:44
Caller
Man show is awesome, buddy.
1:11:45
Adam
Thank you.
1:11:46
Caller
And Dr. Drew, drdrew.com, fantastic. Go there all the time.
1:11:50
Drew
Thank you.
1:11:51
Adam
Drew is now looking up the word Craven.
1:11:53
Caller
Okay. Anyways, I have a...
1:11:55
Adam
Hold on a second. He has an answer.
1:11:57
Drew
Lacking courage.
1:11:58
Adam
Lacking courage.
1:11:59
Caller
Wow.
1:12:00
Adam
There's a noble name. They couldn't just name you Pussy Head. They had to name you Craven.
1:12:07
Caller
Wait a second. Is that with a K or a C?
1:12:09
Adam
That's with a C, but who knows how it's spelled when they say Craven? Yeah.
1:12:14
Caller
Yeah.
1:12:15
Adam
Yeah. What the hell? How stoner your parents?
1:12:21
Caller
They were born in the 60s.
1:12:22
Adam
Who knows? Give them a fancy name for Wuss. Lacking courage. I mean, there really couldn't be a worse name for a kid.
1:12:30
Caller
But I don't know. I mean, whatever.
1:12:33
Adam
And how's your brother Sissy?
1:12:36
Caller
Fantastic, I guess.
1:12:37
Adam
Alright. So now what's up there, Greg?
1:12:40
Caller
Basically, about a month ago, I met this girl or whatever, went down on her for the first time this last week. And I was very surprised. She had like, basically how I could describe it would be like the clit, like the size of like a normal male's penis, I believe.
1:12:58
Adam
That was a man.
1:12:59
Drew
Maybe it was a man.
1:13:00
Caller
No, no, no, no.
1:13:00
Adam
I was one of your brother's friends. In from the Navy.
1:13:03
Caller
Like five inches?
1:13:04
Caller
No, no, no. Like the head. Like only the head of the penis.
1:13:07
Adam
Wow.
1:13:08
Caller
You know what I'm talking about?
1:13:09
Save Ferris
Oh, the width of it is like the width of like a golf ball?
1:13:13
Caller
No, no, no. The ball is not half that.
1:13:15
Drew
Did it look like it had a head on it?
1:13:16
Caller
No, no.
1:13:18
Save Ferris
But so it wasn't long. It was just wide.
1:13:19
Caller
No, it was like, it was, I mean, I would say it's about a good three-quarters of an inch long and about, oh, yeah, I mean.
1:13:28
Adam
So would you say it was like a grape?
1:13:31
Caller
A little larger than a grape.
1:13:33
Drew
Apricot.
1:13:34
Caller
Is she buff?
1:13:35
Caller
No. Wow.
1:13:36
Drew
Does she do steroids is a great question.
1:13:37
Caller
No, I mean, she's a great-looking girl. I mean, she's female in every other way.
1:13:41
Save Ferris
Do steroids do that?
1:13:42
Drew
Absolutely.
1:13:43
Caller
Does what? Steroids? Yeah.
1:13:44
Drew
If she was a bodybuilder, they get that.
1:13:46
Caller
No, she's not a bodybuilder.
1:13:47
Drew
There are certain hormone, certain conditions can cause this too. She may need that looked into. But did it work normally?
1:13:55
Caller
Oh, as far as I could tell, yeah.
1:13:58
Adam
Listen, I appreciate that. That's like my grandpa used to read books with a large print, you know, made it easier for him to understand what was going on. You know, you find your way around down there a little better.
1:14:11
Caller
Right.
1:14:12
Adam
There's nothing wrong with that.
1:14:13
Caller
I'm coming, Beacon.
1:14:14
Adam
Yeah, why not? I could use a little help.
1:14:18
Caller
Granted, I haven't seen a lot of them.
1:14:20
Adam
Right.
1:14:21
Caller
What would you like to consider like average size?
1:14:23
Caller
Well, they vary, don't they?
1:14:24
Drew
They vary a lot.
1:14:25
Caller
Yeah, totally.
1:14:26
Adam
Well, yeah, but-
1:14:26
Save Ferris
It depends on what stage of arousal it's on.
1:14:28
Adam
They don't vary greatly. I mean, it's usually-
1:14:29
Drew
Well, they can't.
1:14:30
Caller
Yeah.
1:14:31
Adam
What are we talking about, a clitoris? The size of a pea or something like that?
1:14:35
Caller
No, sometimes they're bigger than that.
1:14:36
Adam
Really?
1:14:36
Drew
Yeah, quite a bit bigger. I know you have no idea where they are at.
1:14:40
Adam
I know they're right around the anus, right?
1:14:43
Drew
Get my book out. Under the nose. Get me the anatomy book out.
1:14:46
Adam
Drew, you know I don't like the look on the anatomy books during masturbation nights, which is every night. That's a good point.
1:14:55
Save Ferris
But isn't it true that the female clitoris is the female equivalent to the male penis?
1:15:01
Drew
We all start with a clitoris and if you have a Y chromosome, that evolves into a phallus.
1:15:05
Adam
That's right. Mine just doubled in size.
1:15:07
Save Ferris
That's why they become like fluid filled.
1:15:10
Caller
What if she was like a hermaphrodite with that?
1:15:12
Adam
No, but hold on a second there, T-Bone. I know, but it's really, it's the size.
1:15:18
Caller
It looks like a butterfly.
1:15:20
Adam
I mean, it's somewhere around the size of a pea or a raisin or something like that.
1:15:25
Caller
But it doesn't vary that big. Sometimes they're like that big.
1:15:27
Adam
Really? An inch and a half?
1:15:29
Caller
Yeah, totally.
1:15:31
Adam
Yeah, but they don't stick out.
1:15:33
Caller
Yeah.
1:15:33
Adam
What?
1:15:34
Caller
Yeah.
1:15:34
Caller
What the heck?
1:15:35
Adam
You guys have been with the same bitch. That's what happened.
1:15:39
Save Ferris
I guess everybody was wondering, mine isn't that big.
1:15:42
Adam
No, listen, I've seen a lot of movies. It's not what your sister said. I've had a lot of friends with a lot of girlfriends.
1:15:48
Caller
You're so dead, T-Bone.
1:15:50
Caller
I'm so dead.
1:15:52
Caller
My sister's going to kill me.
1:15:54
Adam
That's right. Hey, seriously. Okay. They do vary, but not that often. It's not like you're spinning the wheel every time you go down.
1:16:03
Drew
Right. That's right.
1:16:04
Adam
They're normally-
1:16:06
Drew
The median is really pretty narrow. The range is relatively, the variance is-
1:16:10
Adam
The median is the size of a pea or a raisin, normally.
1:16:16
Drew
Half inch, I'd say medium.
1:16:17
Adam
Right. Okay, fine. Wait, so that's it, right?
1:16:21
Drew
Yes, that's it.
1:16:22
Save Ferris
Not that.
1:16:23
Adam
No. Not what? No, that's where the wheat comes from.
1:16:26
Drew
That's where the pee comes from.
1:16:27
Save Ferris
Oh, that's where the pee comes from.
1:16:29
Adam
Oh, honey.
1:16:30
Caller
I thought the pee came out of that.
1:16:31
Drew
No.
1:16:31
Adam
Did you learn anything when you're dying yourself?
1:16:35
Drew
If that comes out of you there, we have to talk.
1:16:37
Adam
Yeah. Drew, close that down. You know I don't like looking at women as biological beings.
1:16:45
Drew
I wish we had a picture that before you were just glued to this picture.
1:16:48
Caller
No, because I thought, never mind. I got all mixed up.
1:16:51
Adam
Close that down, Drew, please.
1:16:52
Drew
I mean, I've looked at it before. I'm intrigued by the way you guys look at these pictures.
1:16:56
Save Ferris
I've looked at it before, but I haven't looked at it while I was peeing. So I didn't know which hole the pee came out of.
1:17:01
Adam
I don't really want to hear all this talk.
1:17:04
Caller
But it's easy for you.
1:17:05
Save Ferris
You know where the pee comes from.
1:17:07
Adam
That's right, I do.
1:17:08
Caller
It's right there.
1:17:09
Adam
Number two, I'm a little confused by, but the pee I got down.
1:17:13
Save Ferris
That I got an email to send you, brother.
1:17:15
Adam
Oh, no, no. I don't want to see it. See, Drew, I don't like this because I think of women as being just stuffed with decorative soap. I don't really think of them as having parts and stuff in there.
1:17:27
Drew
Is this the parts that's in there?
1:17:28
Adam
Oh, no, please.
1:17:28
Drew
This is this cut through this way.
1:17:30
Adam
No.
1:17:31
Caller
Is that the clitoris?
1:17:32
Drew
No, that's an ovum.
1:17:34
Adam
Oh. Yeah. All right.
1:17:36
Caller
That one looks all hairy.
1:17:38
Drew
That's an egg being released.
1:17:41
Adam
Listen.
1:17:41
Drew
This is hairy here, too. Look at this.
1:17:42
Adam
Look at this. All right. Change the channel, please. Get to the boobs, would you? Lovely. Here's the point. The point is this can happen. He shouldn't freak out. It's okay, right?
1:17:54
Save Ferris
But what size should we worry? What if mine just blew up tonight?
1:17:58
Drew
Then you should worry.
1:17:59
Caller
If it changes, that's like a problem.
1:18:00
Adam
No.
1:18:00
Save Ferris
What if it got like, okay, so if I went home and I found that it was the size of a grape?
1:18:07
Drew
You haven't looked at it because they're going to be androgenizing tumors.
1:18:10
Save Ferris
Oh, I see. Okay.
1:18:11
Adam
Let me look at it first though, just to make sure.
1:18:14
Save Ferris
See, I need guides for everything.
1:18:16
Adam
Paul?
1:18:16
Caller
Oh, hey.
1:18:17
Adam
You're 13. What's up?
1:18:19
Caller
Okay. Every time I get an erection, I feel this really painful pop like right above the thing, right above my penis.
1:18:29
Adam
Right above your penis?
1:18:30
Caller
Yeah.
1:18:31
Drew
The ligament.
1:18:32
Adam
But it's not above your penis, it's below your penis, right?
1:18:36
Caller
No, it's above.
1:18:36
Drew
It's above. That's what the ligament is.
1:18:38
Adam
It's above your penis? I thought the pop would come from where the penis attached to your body.
1:18:43
Drew
The ligament, if this is the penis, the ligament's just right up, right up. It holds it up.
1:18:47
Adam
Oh, well, I don't think of that as above the penis if you have an erection. Do you know what I'm saying?
1:18:53
Drew
Is it below?
1:18:53
Save Ferris
Adam, don't touch it. That's so gross.
1:18:56
Caller
Get it on.
1:18:57
Adam
Oh, my God.
1:18:58
Save Ferris
They're like doing it, but not really.
1:19:00
Adam
You want to smell?
1:19:01
Caller
Smell.
1:19:04
Adam
I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Wear your penis and patches to your body, right?
1:19:10
Caller
Yeah.
1:19:11
Adam
Why?
1:19:11
Save Ferris
Because you might like it.
1:19:12
Adam
Yeah, that's all right. That happens. It happens when you're younger, Paul. It'll go away one day.
1:19:17
Caller
Yeah, but I haven't been able to masturbate for two and a half months.
1:19:20
Adam
Why not?
1:19:20
Caller
It's a little one.
1:19:23
Drew
Don't tell Adam that.
1:19:24
Adam
Yeah, no, that's huge.
1:19:25
Caller
It's a little to make you guys be better about yourselves.
1:19:27
Caller
Little. They'll be like, I'm wrecking crap, you're really screwing with Adam's head right now. Really bad pain, yell, goes away.
1:19:33
Adam
Paul, you're 13, you're fine. Now, what is this? Is this a shot of the penis?
1:19:39
Drew
Top down. Actually, it's a bottom up, sliced in half.
1:19:43
Adam
Sliced in half?
1:19:43
Drew
Yeah.
1:19:44
Adam
There you go. All right. Come on, this is horrible radio. We all point at pictures and laughs.
1:19:49
Drew
Seminal vesicles, I think. It's behind, it's back in here.
1:19:53
Adam
James? Yeah. You're 16. What's up?
1:19:57
Caller
Yeah, I have a girlfriend and she's 20 turning 21.
1:20:01
Adam
Wow.
1:20:03
Caller
Jesus.
1:20:04
Adam
Yeah.
1:20:05
Caller
And I was just curious if I should find someone my own age.
1:20:08
Drew
Yeah.
1:20:09
Adam
What's wrong with her?
1:20:11
Caller
Her grandparents and her mom doesn't want us to be together.
1:20:15
Adam
Yeah. What's wrong with her, though? Why is she dating a 16-year-old?
1:20:18
Caller
I don't know.
1:20:19
Adam
No, but seriously, you may not know it, but a 21-year-old woman, Monique, help me out here, who's dating a 16-year-old has got some problems.
1:20:27
Drew
Something's going on. Oh, Monique's done this.
1:20:30
Adam
Have you done this? You've done this too?
1:20:33
Save Ferris
No, I was not 21 dating a 16-year-old.
1:20:35
Adam
But who were you dating?
1:20:36
Save Ferris
But I know I was very mature when I was 16, and I knew very mature young men when I was 16.
1:20:42
Adam
What? Have you ever dated a man younger than you?
1:20:44
Save Ferris
And I've known very immature 21-year-olds.
1:20:46
Adam
Who have you dated that was younger?
1:20:50
Save Ferris
Why you got to be bringing this up?
1:20:52
Drew
Because we knew it's there.
1:20:54
Adam
You shouldn't have hesitated.
1:20:55
Save Ferris
No, no, no. I think maybe I've dated a guy that was two years younger than me, but in high school or something, it didn't really matter.
1:21:04
Adam
When you were 21, you wouldn't be caught dead with a 16-year-old.
1:21:07
Save Ferris
No, that's because I'm cool.
1:21:09
Adam
Yeah. I can't think of a 21-year-old woman who would be caught dead with a 16-year-old. So, the question is- No, but you know what?
1:21:17
Save Ferris
There are people of all types.
1:21:19
Adam
I know.
1:21:19
Caller
Not everyone's like-
1:21:20
Adam
Something's up with her.
1:21:21
Caller
Yeah, because you can't go drinking with her. You can't do the same thing.
1:21:24
Caller
But maybe they don't do that.
1:21:25
Caller
If you go to Disneyland together or something.
1:21:27
Save Ferris
Maybe they just like each other's company.
1:21:28
Adam
No, she can't find company from other people, I'm thinking, or has a problem with it, or is insecure about it.
1:21:35
Save Ferris
But what if he's really tall and really hot?
1:21:38
Adam
Listen to him.
1:21:39
Save Ferris
I don't think he is. And what if he's very, very mature?
1:21:41
Adam
James, is any of that true?
1:21:43
Caller
Not really.
1:21:44
Adam
No. He is honest, though. I will give him that figure.
1:21:48
Caller
I mean, I'm really mature for my age.
1:21:50
Adam
Yeah, right. But you're not that tall.
1:21:52
Caller
No, I'm not.
1:21:53
Adam
You're kind of spindly?
1:21:55
Save Ferris
No. Is she, like, really...
1:21:58
Caller
Is she attractive?
1:21:59
Save Ferris
Really attractive?
1:22:00
Caller
Yeah.
1:22:01
Save Ferris
By your standards.
1:22:02
Caller
Does she have anything wrong? Like, is her dad still around, or like, is her family, like, cool?
1:22:06
Caller
Her dad's a bad person.
1:22:11
Adam
And what is...
1:22:11
Save Ferris
So she's going for the unobtrusive type of man.
1:22:14
Adam
What does she do, James?
1:22:16
Caller
What do you mean?
1:22:16
Drew
Does she go to work?
1:22:18
Adam
Does she go to school?
1:22:19
Caller
Yeah, she goes to...
1:22:20
Caller
She works as a waitress, and she goes to college at night.
1:22:23
Adam
Junior college? Junior college, okay. All right, hey, James?
1:22:28
Caller
Yeah.
1:22:29
Adam
Well, listen, if you guys are getting along okay, then maybe you should keep going out.
1:22:34
Caller
All right.
1:22:34
Adam
I worry a little about her, though. Don't get her pregnant, right? No. You're using protection?
1:22:40
Caller
Yeah.
1:22:41
Adam
Okay.
1:22:41
Caller
And it's not the first time this has happened.
1:22:44
Adam
You've dated other older women?
1:22:46
Caller
Yeah.
1:22:46
Adam
Really?
1:22:47
Caller
Yeah.
1:22:48
Adam
Wow.
1:22:48
Save Ferris
Yeah, I bet you he's hot. He's just modest. And that's why chicks like him, because he's not full of himself.
1:22:52
Caller
Because when I was 14, I lost my virginity to a 20-year-old. Wow.
1:22:59
Save Ferris
See, so he's just attracting it now. His energy is like, attracting that now.
1:23:05
Adam
I don't think it's so much James is hot. I think it's the women that are having difficulty attracting people in their own age range. I'd like to get a look at this James and get a look at these women. That is the vibe I'm getting, although I always go the negative route. But Drew, I think you agree with me.
1:23:23
Drew
I agree with you.
1:23:24
Adam
All right. Well, anyway, they're getting along fine. She doesn't want her grandmother doesn't like it, but she should move out of the house. James?
1:23:31
Caller
Yeah.
1:23:32
Adam
Why is she still living at home?
1:23:34
Caller
She's living with her dad.
1:23:36
Adam
I thought her dad's a bad guy.
1:23:37
Caller
He is.
1:23:39
Caller
I don't know why she's still living there.
1:23:40
Adam
But I can't.
1:23:44
Drew
She may be hiding out with James after having rebounded from some awful, abusive older guy, which is probably the pattern.
1:23:50
Adam
Is that what happened, James?
1:23:51
Caller
Yeah.
1:23:51
Adam
Oh, there you go. James, this is a little bit of phenomenon we've heard about on this show. It doesn't usually dip down to 16, but then they don't usually start at 20, which is women get in a relationship with usually a string of relationships, but sometimes it's just a long marriage to basically an a-hole. It's a little abusive and they don't appreciate them, and they're verbally, physically abusive, whatever it is, and they break up with the guy, and the next guy they date is like just some kid. And what's behind it, what drives it emotionally is, is I'm going to get with a guy, he's not going to abuse me, he's going to praise me, he's going to love me, but it won't be serious because the guy is 17 and I'm 28, and there's no way we're getting married, and I can't handle another serious relationship, and I don't want to get close to anybody, but we're going to have great sex, and he's going to be more enthusiastic. Now think how enthusiastic, by the way, you've been married to the world's biggest a-hole for the last eight years, he walks, you know, he walks in, he walks right past, he goes right to the TV every night, and now you got some guy with a retainer and a wind-up beanie and a Pokemon collection, and you're giving him BJs, and this kid's going through the roof, he's calling you every day, you're going up to his tree house and making out with him, I mean, you've never seen more enthusiasm, it's like a new puppy, but it's not real.
1:25:17
Save Ferris
Adam, you're making it really tempting.
1:25:19
Adam
It does sound decent, though, doesn't it?
1:25:20
Save Ferris
I'm just kidding.
1:25:21
Caller
I remember in high school, I had friends that they dated older women like that, and it was the thing, you were stoked for your friend, you're like, dude, you hooked up with an older woman, she knows what she's doing and stuff.
1:25:31
Adam
But it was always a rebound situation, wasn't it?
1:25:36
Caller
Usually for us, I had a buddy of mine, he hooked up with this lady, she was 43, he was 18, and he met her at a hotel that they were working at. Yeah, it's freaky stuff like that.
1:25:44
Drew
There's a bunch of reasons for that, that's bipolar or drug addict or another thing.
1:25:48
Caller
I just remember, because I had a couple of friends that said something like that happened to me.
1:25:50
Save Ferris
But wait a minute, if I was 43, okay, never mind.
1:25:53
Drew
You wouldn't go out with a 15 year old.
1:25:54
Caller
Or thinking, you know.
1:25:56
Drew
Occasionally with these very severe rebounds, like Adam described, woman's been in an awful relationship for 15 years, gets out, just wants to have somebody to spend time with. Yeah.
1:26:04
Adam
Right, someone non-threatening, someone enthusiastic who's gonna treat her right. All right.
1:26:09
Drew
But that much older, 25 years older, you're just talking about somebody grandiose.
1:26:13
Adam
But it's a trade, they both offer something.
1:26:14
Caller
Yeah, I was just gonna say, it's not bad, because they're just, it's not like a serious thing.
1:26:18
Adam
He gets to use his permit and drive with someone other than his foot. All right. We're gonna take ourselves a little break, save Ferris is here. When we come back, we'll speak to Rachel. She's 27, can't get wet since hysterectomy. What can she do? We'll tell her what to do after this.
1:26:36
Caller
Love Line, with Anna Perot and Dr. Drew, we'll be right back before you know it.
1:27:12
Adam
Yeah, it's Loveline, baby. Oh, headphones fell off. Keybone Brian and Monique are all here from Save Ferris. Dr. Drew is over here too. Larry Flint, Sunday Night. Jesus Christ, who works on Easter?
1:27:30
Caller
Non-religious people?
1:27:31
Adam
Jesus Christ.
1:27:32
Drew
People that just broadcast the fact that they're atheists.
1:27:38
Adam
I got to take up that, what is it? What is that one where they get all the holidays? I have the people in the office route yesterday because of that Jewish thing going on there. Robbie Gordon, the race car driver, and Everclear is going to be in here Thursday, a week from now, and we haven't seen our old friends from Everclear in a little while. But Art called me and he's doing some kind of video or something, and I'm doing something in it. It's not a music video, it's some kind of interview thing, but I got to show up a couple of hours early. I had this funny conversation. Drew, I like to whittle everyone on times.
1:28:16
Drew
Yes.
1:28:17
Adam
That's my favorite thing is people go, could you show up at seven? I go, what's wrong, 7.30. They go, all right, 7.30. I go, let's make it eight. I do that with everything now. Producer Anne called me in my office today and she said, are you going to do that video interview with Art from Everclear on Thursday? Yeah. They want you to be there at 7.30. I immediately snapped right into my whittling mode and I said, 7.30, how about tell them eight o'clock? She said, they already said seven. I said 7.30 already. So it was a tough whittle because she'd already whittled. She pre-whittled for me before I'd got there, which makes it a harder sell. But I think I still got a date. All right, Save Ferris is here. As I've mentioned a few hundred times tonight. Rachel?
1:29:03
Caller
Hi.
1:29:04
Adam
You're 27?
1:29:05
Caller
Yes, I am.
1:29:06
Adam
You had a hysterectomy?
1:29:08
Caller
I had a total abdominal hysterectomy when I was 24 years old.
1:29:11
Adam
Wow.
1:29:12
Drew
How come?
1:29:12
Caller
Cancer.
1:29:13
Drew
Of what?
1:29:15
Caller
Well, it started in my ovaries. At first, they thought it was just some kind of cyst, and they went in and they pulled it out and everything like that. They told me that it was cancer.
1:29:26
Drew
Wow.
1:29:26
Caller
Well, they found three other lumps in my left ovary, which also turned out to be cancer. So the doctor just told me that it would be best if they did a total abdominal.
1:29:38
Drew
That makes sense.
1:29:39
Caller
I said that was fine. He told me that as a result of that, I would have to take hormones and hormone injections.
1:29:46
Drew
Are you taking them?
1:29:47
Caller
Yes. I have gone back to the doctor for the last three years now and they still have not got these hormones right. I mean, hot flashes, mood swings, mood swings are just terrible.
1:30:00
Drew
Some people, it can be very difficult to...
1:30:02
Caller
Well, see, that's where I'm getting confused because, I mean, I've always had a bad temper. You know, my temper has always just been very, very... Once it goes, it is gone and it takes a long time. But ever since I've had the hysterectomy, it's been worse and the mood swings have just been terrible. Plus, not to mention, as a 27-year-old girl, I have no sex drive. I can't even get wet.
1:30:25
Drew
Have you been on testosterone at all or just estrogens?
1:30:29
Caller
Actually, I've had the progesterone, the testosterone and the...
1:30:34
Drew
So they've tried everything.
1:30:35
Caller
Yeah. Right now, I'm taking the injections and I go... Usually, they give them to people once a month and I can't remember the name of it, but...
1:30:42
Drew
The injections?
1:30:43
Caller
Yeah, it's an injection.
1:30:44
Drew
Depoestradiol, something like that.
1:30:46
Caller
Yeah. And it's not taking. Yeah.
1:30:49
Drew
Well, you've got to keep working on it because there's absolutely no reason it shouldn't be established. For some people, it can be really difficult to sort of reestablish the normal levels to the point that it's at least mimicking normal. For some women, you can just almost throw anything and it just reestablishes itself. It's like your body adjusts to it.
1:31:04
Adam
What about getting lubricated down there, Seth, because she's not aroused or, Seth, because something was removed?
1:31:11
Drew
Her libido's down and she's not properly estrogenized.
1:31:14
Adam
All right. So it's those two things.
1:31:16
Drew
Yeah.
1:31:16
Adam
So you've got to work that out. Lizzie, you're 17?
1:31:21
Caller
Yeah.
1:31:22
Adam
You like anal sex better than vaginal sex?
1:31:24
Caller
Yeah. Wow.
1:31:25
Adam
You're preaching to the choir, baby.
1:31:29
Caller
Is this like a problem? I mean, like, is this, I don't know, because-
1:31:32
Adam
No, it's a dream that every father has for a 17-year-old daughter. Isn't it, Drew? God willing, one day your daughter will appreciate.
1:31:41
Drew
I can't even think about that.
1:31:42
Adam
Anal sex more than vaginal sex?
1:31:44
Caller
Yeah, especially in my Catholic family.
1:31:45
Drew
Uh-oh.
1:31:47
Adam
There you go. That's it. Try to force religion on me, will you? Oh, yeah? We'll see.
1:31:54
Caller
No, really, is this like a problem?
1:31:55
Adam
Well-
1:31:56
Caller
Do you wear the skirt? The little Catholic girl skirt?
1:31:58
Caller
Yeah, actually, I go to an old girl's school.
1:32:00
Adam
Does your boyfriend flip it up like a quarterback heading under center? Starts audible-izing? All right. Lizzie-
1:32:09
Save Ferris
Well, it's not a problem unless she starts to get-
1:32:12
Adam
Do you exclusively engage in the anal sex?
1:32:15
Caller
Oh, no. See, that's just it. It's like I love sex. I love it any way I can get it. And it's like-
1:32:20
Caller
Something's up.
1:32:22
Adam
Well, listen, there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex at 17, but usually when women are like you are at 17, it means they're compensating for something. Is there any compensation you think going on?
1:32:33
Caller
No, I don't think so. I mean, like, I'm- there's- I mean, like, my mother has a PhD in child development. There's, like, no way-
1:32:39
Adam
Uh-oh.
1:32:40
Caller
What?
1:32:40
Adam
Well, I mean, sometimes this happens. Mom gets a little wrapped up in work, a little too much time out of the house.
1:32:46
Caller
Oh, no, she doesn't.
1:32:48
Adam
She doesn't. Okay, you love your mom?
1:32:50
Caller
I love my mom dearly. I love both my parents.
1:32:51
Adam
You love your dad?
1:32:52
Caller
Yeah.
1:32:53
Adam
Stop humiliating him.
1:32:54
Caller
You're killing him.
1:32:55
Adam
And you have one boyfriend?
1:32:57
Caller
Yeah.
1:32:57
Adam
And you're just having the time of your life with him?
1:32:59
Caller
Yeah.
1:33:00
Adam
Fine. Okay, I'll buy it. You guys using protection?
1:33:04
Caller
I'm on the pill.
1:33:05
Adam
Okay. All right, Lizzie. Enjoy. I don't know where you go from here, by the way. He's going to have to start peeing on you soon.
1:33:12
Drew
Did your mom start talking about sex at a very young age?
1:33:15
Caller
No, actually. I found out by actually reading the Encyclopedia when I was in third grade.
1:33:21
Drew
Third grade. Why were you reading the Encyclopedia?
1:33:24
Caller
I was a big fat dork when I was younger.
1:33:26
Adam
They didn't have that highlights magazine.
1:33:28
Drew
Were you looking for this issue?
1:33:30
Caller
No.
1:33:32
Caller
It was there. It was a big illustrated Encyclopedia and I thought it was interesting.
1:33:35
Adam
All right. I'll buy it. I believe her. She loves her parents. What the hell? Hey Marcus, you're 20, you're a Mormon missionary?
1:33:44
Caller
Yeah, that's right.
1:33:45
Adam
You live with a fellow missionary and you think he's gay?
1:33:49
Caller
Yeah.
1:33:50
Adam
Why?
1:33:51
Caller
Oh, I don't know too much about it because I'm from Utah. And the way he talks, the way he acts. All right.
1:33:58
Adam
So what do you care? Who cares if he's gay?
1:34:00
Caller
Well, I mean, I heard a story about how a Mormon missionary, you put ether on a rag and went up to the other Mormon missionary, put it on his nose and his face, made him pass out and had his way with him.
1:34:14
Adam
That's true. It happens every day.
1:34:15
Caller
Does it?
1:34:16
Adam
Every day.
1:34:16
Caller
For those Mormon missionaries.
1:34:17
Adam
Every day.
1:34:18
Caller
That's why I heard it.
1:34:19
Adam
Why do you think they call it missionary position? Okay. You understand? Marcus?
1:34:24
Caller
What's up?
1:34:25
Adam
I don't want to scare you, but tonight when you go to bed, about an 85 to 90 percent chance it's going to happen to you. All right, brother.
1:34:32
Caller
That's why I heard so.
1:34:33
Adam
It'll be well over 100 percent if you stay there two nights.
1:34:36
Caller
I thought it was from all that bike riding we do. Love it, love it!
1:34:43
Adam
Alright, that sounds like a fair enough place to break. We'll do that, say Ferris is here, and we'll be back after this.
1:35:26
Drew
Well, here we go, another Loveline finished. Ta-da. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Save Ferris is always welcome here. And I want to see you on another webcast. Are they pleased one of these days?
1:35:34
Save Ferris
Yes, of course.
1:35:35
Drew
It is a pleasure. And anything we do to support you guys, you are always, always, always welcome here.
1:35:41
Save Ferris
Thank you. We always have fun here.
1:35:43
Drew
Any last words you'd like to say to our audience?
1:35:45
Save Ferris
Sis, I'm sorry for telling them about our showering experiences.
1:35:49
Drew
Anything about your tour, or about your album, anything you want to say that way?
1:35:51
Save Ferris
Oh, gosh, okay. Yeah, come see us on the Warped Tour this summer, and go to saveferris.com to find out more about upcoming shows. We're doing a lot of college shows up until... What month did we start the Warped Tour?
1:36:03
Drew
In July.
1:36:04
Save Ferris
Until July. So go to saveferris.com, and yeah, and call your local radio stations, and request.
1:36:11
Drew
We're going to lose our satellite connection. We got to go now.
1:36:13
Save Ferris
Bye.
1:36:13
Drew
So that's it. Another Loveline in the can, and this is Dr. Drew. Adam has scootered off in a drunken stupor. And on his behalf, I'll be here to say good night and mahalo. I've had anal sex. Well now.