Episode 1000754887501

1:24 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised.

1:33 Voiceover Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew.

1:35 Voiceover I'm not modeling anymore for the two of you.

1:38 Voiceover Loveline.

1:39 Voiceover And it is Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. And as we start yet another chaotic version of The Loveline Show, I was just sitting here trying to send some email, hoping my partner would come in here when somebody rushed in the door and said, Adam is sick. He's vomiting. Did you talk to him? Anderson?

1:58 No, Daniel did.

2:00 Drew Daniel, what's happening over there?

2:01 He just said he's heaving and he's feeling really sick. He's really sorry and he hopes you have fun tonight.

2:08 Drew I'm speechless. That's nice the way he plans. He calls just as we're going on there. It's very nice. Anyway, I'm glad to have my guest, Stacy Valentine. How are you?

2:16 Adam I'm fine, thanks.

2:16 Drew How are you? Normally it's not like this. It's usually a little chaotic, but not all this quite as bad as tonight.

2:22 Adam Well, I didn't mean to intimidate Adam.

2:24 Drew No. Yeah, maybe that's it. He got overwhelmed and he just had to go home. Had to go home and vomit. But listen, you're promoting a movie, right? Yes. Girl Next Door?

2:33 Adam Yes.

2:33 Drew Tell me about that.

2:35 Adam It follows my life over a two-year period, going from housewife to porn star.

2:42 Drew And that's what you're doing now with your life?

2:44 Adam Yes. Well, actually now I have retired from the adult industry and I've started a clothing line.

2:49 Drew Really?

2:49 Adam Yes.

2:50 Drew Now how did you get involved in all this? It says here your husband put you up to this or?

2:54 Adam He suggested it, thought that having a threesome would enhance our sex life and then he started in with the movies and Are you still married to him?

3:08 Drew Interesting.

3:09 Adam No, left him back in Oklahoma.

3:11 Drew And so his master plan was, guys listen carefully to this, your master plan of enhancing one's sex life by bringing other people in only dissolves intimacy.

3:19 Adam Absolutely. Absolutely.

3:21 Drew And yet you kept going.

3:23 Adam I kept going and left him behind.

3:25 Drew But has this been a good thing for you, a bad thing?

3:27 Adam Very good thing. It's taught me a lot. I've learned a lot of lessons. And actually coming to LA has taught me a lot of things. I gained a lot of, I would say, common sense, about 10 years worth of common sense in about two years.

3:44 Drew So you've been out here two years.

3:45 Adam I've been out here four. Four years. But in that two years, I gained a lot of common sense.

3:49 Drew And such as? Give me an example of something you learned.

3:53 Adam Being an aggressive driver, not letting people take advantage of me. Being from Oklahoma, I was a little naive. And now being in LA., it's the real world.

4:04 Drew This is from a business standpoint, you mean they're taking advantage of you or?

4:07 Adam Business and personal. Yeah.

4:09 Drew And so you got out of the porn industry and yet you're still doing this movie about your life.

4:14 Adam Yes. I retired from the industry in February.

4:17 Drew Is this a movie for general release?

4:19 Adam Yes. Yes, it's being released in theaters. It opens in Los Angeles May 12th and it also opens on May 12th in San Francisco.

4:27 Drew So it's having sort of local release to begin with and then is it going to go on wider release or?

4:31 Adam We started off in New York.

4:34 Drew How's the reception been so far?

4:35 Adam Excellent. It's been held over four weeks now.

4:39 Drew Whose idea was this movie?

4:41 Adam The director Christine Fugate.

4:43 Drew Tell me about her.

4:45 Adam She's a great friend. I have a lot of respect for her. She was interested in pursuing how the adult industry affects a woman's life.

4:58 Drew And so there's going to be a theme to this. Tell me what it does to a woman's life.

5:04 Adam I can tell you what it did to my life. Go ahead. It changed my life a lot. I learned a lot about myself by doing this documentary. It was very therapeutic. It was like writing in a journal and then going back and looking at it. But seeing it on screen is a lot more. It had a lot more of an effect on me.

5:25 Drew Are you actually in any kind of therapy right now? You mentioned therapeutic effects.

5:29 Adam No, I'm not. I'm not in therapy.

5:32 Stacy Valentine No.

5:32 Drew What we do here is we go to phones, we take calls from young people, and we are just going to go right down the line. This is Jen, 15. Jen?

5:38 Stacy Valentine Hi.

5:38 Drew Hi, how you doing?

5:39 Stacy Valentine I'm OK.

5:40 Drew It's Drew. Adam's not here. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And what's going on?

5:45 Well, I've been involved with my brother for the past about six months.

5:53 Stacy Valentine And recently, I found out I was pregnant. We've been having sex.

5:56 Drew This is your biological brother?

5:57 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

5:58 Drew You're shocking the porn star from Oklahoma.

6:02 Stacy Valentine Wow.

6:03 Drew How did this all get started?

6:05 Stacy Valentine Excuse me?

6:05 Drew How did this get started?

6:07 Well, about six months ago.

6:08 Stacy Valentine I don't know. I just found myself attracted to him, and he the same, I guess.

6:12 Drew No. Oh, Jim, please. Either this is not a true story, or there's a lot more here than you're telling me.

6:18 Stacy Valentine Well, what do you mean?

6:19 Drew You tell me. People do not get suddenly attracted to their brother. It doesn't happen.

6:24 Stacy Valentine I don't know.

6:25 I don't know.

6:27 Drew Unless there's a hell of a lot more going on in your family, then just all kinds of-

6:30 My family is pretty screwed up.

6:31 Drew What's happening?

6:33 Stacy Valentine My dad left us. He used to molest me.

6:36 Drew Okay.

6:36 Stacy Valentine And I was also molested.

6:37 Drew Okay. All right. See, siblings are not attracted to other siblings in a sexual way unless some adult has come in and absolutely destroyed their boundaries. And sexual abuse by an adult is one way that that can happen. And that's exactly what happens. And then your story makes sense. Then you can make decisions like, hey, my brother looks pretty cool. I think I'll have sex with him. And it makes sense to you. And of course, most males are willing to participate in any kind of weird activity. So, and now you're pregnant.

7:03 Yeah.

7:04 And I'm really religious. And I'm against abortions.

7:08 Drew Does sex with one's brother, is that included under one's religious sort of umbrella?

7:14 No, I know.

7:15 I don't believe in abortions at all.

7:18 Drew Well, are you concerned? I mean, having that close a genetic link can put you at risk for various kinds of birth problems.

7:23 Yes, I know.

7:24 Drew What are you going to tell about this?

7:26 Stacy Valentine I have no idea.

7:27 I'm afraid to tell my parents. I'm afraid to tell anybody.

7:30 Drew What about? Do you have anything to tell her?

7:33 Stacy Valentine I haven't even told him yet.

7:35 Adam I think she needs to get an abortion.

7:39 Drew What do you think?

7:41 Adam It's the baby. There could be something wrong with it. That's not right.

7:48 Drew Jen?

7:50 Stacy Valentine Yes?

7:50 Drew What do you think about that?

7:53 I don't know. I think I have no idea what to do.

7:55 Come on.

7:57 Stacy Valentine I have no idea.

7:59 Adam I know it would be a really hard decision, but...

8:03 Drew At least talk to somebody who can give you some counseling. Look, you're not going to be able to do... Either you're going to have this child and everybody's going to find out about it anyway, or you're going to... I really don't want you to get in a situation where you're going to do something really screwy, run away, that kind of thing.

8:15 So you're saying I should have an abortion?

8:16 Drew No, I'm not saying... no, no, no. I actually am not. I'm saying you need to sit down and talk to somebody about what your options are and get some support and get somebody who can really help you through this, whether it's Planned Parenthood or some counselor through your school, some adult you've got to talk to. I understand you wouldn't want to talk to your parents since they've been the perpetrators of this awful abuse for God knows since when. Only by sending her back to her parents, we actually be putting a risk for more abuse because parents can do that. They could physically abuse as well. But Jen, my God, please, you need guidance, you need help. You're 15, you're pregnant by your brother. This is not, you can't handle this by yourself. Do you understand that?

8:52 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

8:53 Drew Is there some place you can go for help?

8:55 Stacy Valentine Not that I know of.

8:57 Drew How about Planned Parenthood?

8:59 Stacy Valentine I could try that, yeah.

9:00 All right.

9:01 Drew 1-800-230-PLAN. Do you see phone number just on the other side, right attached to the- I see nothing. Right here, there's some number, believe it or not. You see Planned Parenthood over there? 1-800-230-PLAN. That's Planned Parenthood. You can refer to somebody. All right, Jen?

9:20 Stacy Valentine All right. Thank you.

9:21 Drew Let Call Spectrum know how you're doing, okay?

9:22 Stacy Valentine All right.

9:23 Drew All right. Take care.

9:24 Thank you.

9:25 Drew Welcome to America. Stephanie 17. Stephanie?

9:29 Yeah.

9:29 Drew What's going on?

9:31 All right.

9:31 Drew What's up? Stephanie? Stephanie?

9:35 Yeah.

9:36 Drew What's going on?

9:38 Well, I am pregnant, right? And I told my boyfriend about it. And ever since that I told him, I just told him last week. And ever since then, he's been avoiding me and trying to, like every time I call or whatever, he'll be like, well, I gotta go, I gotta go, well, I gotta go do this and this and that.

10:02 Drew And he's 17 also?

10:04 And he's 18.

10:04 Drew He's 18.

10:05 Yeah.

10:05 Drew So he's a little flipped out about all this, right?

10:07 Yeah. And I went by his house just yesterday, and he acted like he wasn't at home, but I saw him.

10:16 Drew What was he doing?

10:17 Huh?

10:18 Oh, I just told him, walked through the house, ran through the house, it was funny.

10:23 Drew So you're sort of stalking him?

10:27 No, I was just, I don't know what to do about it. I want to talk to him about it, but he won't talk to me about it.

10:34 Adam He's afraid.

10:37 Stacy Valentine And?

10:39 Drew Stephanie?

10:40 Stacy Valentine What?

10:42 Drew I'm not really sure what your question is.

10:44 What do I do?

10:46 Drew Well, you need to deal with his pregnancy, right?

10:49 No, I need to talk to him.

10:52 Drew Why?

10:53 To get him to talk to me about it.

10:54 Drew It's like talking to, what was that movie that Jodie Foster was in with the? No, no, no, where she was a wild child.

11:01 Adam Nell.

11:02 Drew Nell. It's like talking to Nell here. Stephanie, why do you want to talk to him? Do you think he's going to rescue you from all this or suddenly swoop in and be the committed, available guy that he never will be?

11:18 No, see, I don't have any problem with it, you know, if he don't want to, you know, be a part of his life and screw him and he can go.

11:24 Drew All right, so why do you want him, why do you want to make contact with him? You've got to make some choices about what you're going to do here. You've got to start planning for you and this child, if that's what you're going to, if you're going to see this pregnancy through. And by the way, what about adoption? Your father's not available, you're 17, you don't want to ruin your life with this and the ruin the child's life too. How about, how about adoption?

11:44 Caller Well, it was my mistake.

11:46 Drew Yeah, that's right. Well, don't screw it up even worse by messing up this child's life. If you're not ready to be a parent. And certainly your boyfriend, your screw up boyfriend's not ready to be one.

11:56 Stacy Valentine I know. I don't know.

11:58 Caller I don't really know.

12:00 Drew I know you don't really know. That's not the way to go into parenthood, okay? You got to really, really, really know a lot of things when you embark on that whole, that whole experience.

12:11 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

12:11 Drew All right. The boy, this guy sounds like a jerk. Yeah, sure. Go confront him. Go, go find out what he's up to. But it's going to be very ungratifying. He's running away. He's scared. He's whatever, but he's a jerk.

12:23 Caller Yeah.

12:24 Drew And he's unlikely to come back in and support you the way you need support. You've got to find that elsewhere. Can you tell your parents about this?

12:30 Caller Yeah.

12:30 Drew All right.

12:31 Stacy Valentine They don't care.

12:32 Drew Oh, they don't care. Of course they don't care. That's why you're pregnant at 17. How was your upbringing?

12:39 Adam My upbringing was great, although my parents divorced at 12.

12:43 Drew When you were 12. What was it like before they left?

12:46 Adam Actually, my mother and father didn't really have the greatest relationship. But there wasn't a lot of communication.

12:50 Drew Was there any abuse between them or violence or?

12:53 Adam No abuse, the only kind of-

12:54 Drew Anybody drinking or using drugs or nothing like that?

12:56 Adam No. Middle class, Oklahoma family, nothing major.

13:04 Drew I interrupted you. You said the only kind of, you were about to say, I was asking about aggression between them.

13:10 Adam No, just I would say mental abuse by not communicating.

13:16 Drew So a real cold relationship.

13:18 Adam Absolutely. My dad was very distant and my mom was very loving. So she just transferred her love to me, which I feel that I benefited because my mother and I have a very close relationship.

13:30 Drew And so I imagine you picked a guy like your dad that's probably the husband that was interested in the three something odd stuff.

13:35 Adam That was not very nice, yeah.

13:37 Drew Interesting.

13:37 Adam Yes, I followed the pattern.

13:39 Drew This is David, 25. David?

13:41 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

13:41 Drew Hey, what's going on? David?

13:44 Stacy Valentine Hey.

13:44 Drew Is there someone on the connection here? Anderson, nobody can hear me.

13:47 Stacy Valentine I'll let the commanding you guys on your show.

13:50 Drew Well, thanks very much. Adam's not here. He's at home vomiting. And I'm pissed at him, by the way.

13:55 Stacy Valentine You guys do a very good job.

13:56 Drew Thank you, David. What's going on, David?

14:00 Stacy Valentine My question is, my wife, me and my wife, we've been married for over a year now. Actually, we've been together for about five. And we share a lot of, you know, intimate moments, whatever. And she wants me to tell her my secret desires and stuff like that. But I don't have...

14:22 Drew That sounds like a trap to me. She's looking for something to get pissed at you about.

14:25 Stacy Valentine Well, she's told me hers, you know, and I've kind of bloated off and told her, like, my intimate desire would be for us to have a threesome.

14:37 Drew You told her that?

14:38 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

14:39 Drew Well, here's somebody that's experienced with it. Hold on. We got an expert here. Go ahead.

14:43 Adam I have an opinion about that. Now, that's your fantasy, is that correct?

14:47 Stacy Valentine Well, no, that's not. That's what I told her, just to get her to drop the subject.

14:53 Adam But don't you have a fantasy?

14:54 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

14:55 Adam Well, why don't you tell her? What is it? Tell me.

14:58 Stacy Valentine It's for her to perform anal sex to me.

15:01 Drew On you?

15:02 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

15:03 Drew How would she go about that? I'm not very imaginative.

15:05 Stacy Valentine Well, I guess strap on.

15:09 Drew Okay. Okay.

15:11 Stacy Valentine But I don't know how to go about telling her.

15:15 Drew How's the rest of the relationship going? Everything going okay?

15:18 Stacy Valentine I don't want her to think I'm a freak or anything.

15:21 Drew How's the rest of the relationship going?

15:24 Stacy Valentine We argue a lot, but it's not for very long.

15:29 Drew How long have you been married? You're married?

15:31 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

15:31 Drew How long have you been married?

15:33 Stacy Valentine For over a year now.

15:34 Drew Are there children?

15:35 Stacy Valentine Yeah, just born.

15:37 Drew Just born. A month?

15:39 Stacy Valentine No, they're two months old.

15:41 Drew You have twins?

15:42 Stacy Valentine Yes.

15:43 Drew Oh my God. David, don't you have other things to worry about than your wife putting on a strap on? Please. It's fine that you have. There's nothing wrong with you, David, but your focus is a little off right now. Your wife just delivered twins two months ago. You're lucky that she's interested in being intimate with you physically. She should.

16:00 Stacy Valentine Well, no, this has been for pretty much three years now. We've been together for six.

16:08 Drew Three years now that you've been wanting to tell her this?

16:10 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

16:10 Drew Well, now's not the time. She just had twins two months ago. Your focus is on these babies. Listen, I'm a multiple parent, and I tell you, those first six months turned my hair gray. Focus on the child ring. My God. Why do you have even the energy to call our show? Why aren't you holding a bottle right now?

16:26 Stacy Valentine We do. We take care of the children, but we do have times that we spend with each other.

16:34 Drew That's good. That's good. But just focus on her right now. She needs all the support you can possibly give her. Don't be tied up worrying about this one little intimacy, this one little sort of fantasy that you have that's got to be, and you've got to reveal it to her. Wait till you get through that first six months, if you will. Hump.

16:49 Stacy Valentine She's nagging me about it.

16:51 Drew Now?

16:51 Stacy Valentine She wants to know.

16:52 Drew Yeah. Now?

16:52 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

16:53 Drew Oh, your wife's made of steel. She's a superhuman.

16:57 Stacy Valentine She wants to know what it is.

16:58 Drew Well, then tell her. She's asking for it. Listen, she's... I don't know. I feel like I've sort of landed on another planet tonight. Anybody else feel that way?

17:08 Those were the three dumbest callers we've had in a long time.

17:10 Drew Thank you. Thank you. It's not just me. All right. Stacy, you're great. Stacy, you agree? Tell her the fantasy.

17:17 Adam If she keeps persisting.

17:18 Drew She wants to know something.

17:19 Adam And if he told her that he wants to have a threesome, wouldn't isn't that it?

17:24 Drew That's a more significant.

17:26 Adam Well, but didn't he answer her question? Why is she still asking?

17:31 Drew Great question. David? Why does she continue to bug you if you told her that you wanted a threesome?

17:36 Stacy Valentine Because I guess deep inside she doesn't really buy that.

17:42 Drew How does she react to that, by the way?

17:44 Stacy Valentine What? Want a threesome?

17:46 Drew Yeah.

17:48 Stacy Valentine She said she'd do it only because she really loves me.

17:53 Drew Wants to make you happy. All right. Well, she's willing to do that. She's willing to do the other stuff too, David. Just take it easy here. Please, just kind of focus on the kids. Will you please? My God. But I guess this relationship will hold. She's willing to withstand just about anything from him. Tom, 19. Tom.

18:08 Hello.

18:08 Drew Hey.

18:09 I had a question.

18:10 Drew Say hi to my guest, Stacey Valentine.

18:12 I'm sorry?

18:13 Drew Say hi to my guest, Stacey Valentine.

18:14 Hello, Stacey.

18:15 Drew Movie is The Girl Next Door. Is the movie The Girl Next Door colon synopsis? Or is it The Girl Next Door?

18:21 Adam No, I think you got a synopsis.

18:22 Drew I got the synopsis. All right, there you go.

18:25 All right.

18:26 Drew What's going on?

18:27 I just had a question. If females can get circumcised?

18:32 Drew Kind of, why?

18:33 Because a couple of my friends and I are discussing certain things and came up, and we were arguing about whether or not what part actually gets circumcised as a female genitalia.

18:46 Drew Turn your radio down.

18:47 It's not on. My friends are talking to me.

18:49 Drew All right. Well, Stacy, why don't you help me?

18:54 Adam How'd you guys get on that subject?

18:55 Drew That's what I want to know.

18:56 You were just talking.

18:57 Drew Oh, jeez, you guys are, I don't know.

18:59 Yeah, exactly.

19:00 Drew All right.

19:01 Well, that's a friend.

19:02 Drew Yes, you do. Oh, yeah.

19:05 The argument was whether or not it's the culturist or the lit.

19:10 Drew Well, most people when they're talking about a female circumcision, they're talking about the hood.

19:15 Okay.

19:15 Drew There's a bit of extra skin up there that some women do or don't have more of. The problem is that there's really no reason for that to be done, so it's all done as part of these bizarre rituals in certain countries. And the actual ritual itself is different in different regions. And they run the gamut of actually removing the clitoris and sewing up the vagina, believe it or not, to just going ahead and taking a piece of the hood off. And it's rather gruesome. And to me it's just again more symptoms of how men need to control and have through history abused women. Men are very fearful of female sexuality. And this is one of the ways that's been expressed. All right. All right, Tom, I hope you won your argument. Ouch. Yeah, by the way, this is Jason18. Jason?

20:06 Caller Yeah.

20:06 Drew Hey.

20:07 Caller It's like every time I become friends with like a girl or anything, just like regular mutual friends, I always start to care for them. I'm kind of like obsessed.

20:14 Drew Yeah.

20:14 Caller I really start to care for them.

20:16 Drew Okay.

20:16 Caller And it ruins a lot of friendships just because I get to care for them and I end up either asking them out or something and it ruins the friendships like that. And I was wondering what that might be caused by or how I can fix that or what.

20:30 Adam I would approach them in a different manner. I wouldn't start out just being friends because women feel comfortable whenever they know that they have a friend and then whenever he starts to groove on her, then that's such a turn off and then she doesn't even want to be her friend.

20:45 Caller Could that happen? When I was like four years old, my father left me and said that he didn't love me anymore, kind of walked out.

20:53 Drew Do you remember a scene where he said, I don't love you and then left?

20:55 Caller Yeah, I remember it pretty vividly too. He just kind of walked out and left. Pretty much my whole teenage years, I kind of raised myself. My mom was really never around.

21:04 Drew Awful. Of course. I mean, you're looking for, did you see the incredible Mr. Ripley? It's kind of what he did. I mean, it's a different situation because he's a psychopath, but he would suddenly form these attachments and then he idealized and get so enmeshed and overwhelm with the attachment. And that's what people do when they've been badly abandoned and or abused in childhood is they are so desperate for the attachment that they over-idealize and over-invest.

21:30 Caller It's kind of what it's like. It's kind of like that. It's really hard to be by myself. Like all my friends are guys because of it.

21:37 Drew What about getting some therapy? You've had some severe, severe losses in childhood.

21:41 Caller Yeah. I've never had any therapy or anything.

21:43 Drew Well, why not? I mean, it would take a long, long, long time to work this through, but it would work out fine in the long run. It's going to be very difficult for you. You're going to be so extraordinarily codependent. You're going to be just- Yeah.

21:58 Caller It seems like that now.

22:00 Drew Yeah. It is that, like that now. But wait till you really have somebody that responds. The person that's going to respond to you is going to be somebody that really can take advantage of your vulnerability because that's the only person that would really need that from a relationship.

22:11 Caller That's kind of ironic. I just had a girl that I just broke up with and it was like that.

22:15 Drew Was she an addict or anything?

22:17 Caller Not that I know. I mean, she never.

22:18 Drew Was your dad an alcoholic or an addict?

22:20 Caller Not that I know of. I've never even seen him drink.

22:22 Drew I would suspect that's what you're dealing with.

22:24 Caller Yeah. I wouldn't think so.

22:26 Drew Yeah. And I suspect that's what you're going to end up with if you're not careful. All right?

22:30 Caller All right. Thanks a lot.

22:30 Drew All right, Jason. Take care. Well, it's Loveline, the number 1-800-LLVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. The guest is Stacy Valentine. The movie is The Girl Next Door. It's released in some major cities coming up. It's been well-received in New York. We're here with the star of that film. It is Stacy Valentine. This is about her life. We'll hear more about it after this. Welcome back to Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I just realized since Adam is not here, I can go into one of the chat rooms at drdrew.com, which I think I will do after the next break. I can't really get set up right now yet, but maybe meet me in the college relationship room. That'll be in about 20 minutes. And if you have any questions for Stacy Valentine, you can put them through there or you can call her phone number again. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. Stacy's in a new movie called The Girl Next Door, which is a chronicle of her life going from housewife to mother.

23:58 Adam No, not ready for irreversible commitments.

24:01 Drew But thank God you didn't get involved parenting with your a-hole husband. You know he's an a-hole, who basically got her into this film, this industry and she was sort of milled through it for a couple of years. And you're going to tell me what it sort of does to women.

24:15 Adam What it's done for me is that the trust issues, and especially coming from my ex-husband with this wanting the threesome, I just, that's the worst thing. I don't suggest any man, and especially not the man, to bring it up to the woman. That doesn't make any sense, because if a woman were to say it to a man, I mean that's a pretty hard blow, you know, that a woman wants to be with another man other than him.

24:42 Drew Why would women consider even subjecting themselves to that? Because we get lots of calls from women trying to, I think numb themselves up and do things they think they're going to make men happy, because they feel so crappy about themselves.

24:53 Adam Low self esteem, absolutely. And that's how I felt.

24:56 Drew Why so many women with these awful self esteems these days?

24:59 Adam I don't know, I think that's very sad. I think it's really sad, and it totally backfires. I mean, when he brought that up, I felt, immediately I felt that, you know, well what's wrong with you, I guess I'm not enough. And when you start feeling that way, then that blows your self esteem, you know.

25:17 Drew But then in response to low self esteem, you allowed him to get you into all this film stuff? Is that where that went? Or how did that, how did that make the connection there?

25:26 Adam We, we tried, we tried to threesome, he actually brought home his ex-girlfriend, and which is another one. And now that the person I am today, and the person I was five years ago, are two totally different people, I don't really care for that person I used to be.

25:41 Drew We either, I mean, it's, it's, you sound like you badly victimized, do we, we either, we ever victimized younger?

25:47 Adam No, no.

25:48 Drew I'm right, he was, he was just a victimizer, right?

25:50 Adam Yeah, yeah. He took complete, he's a good fan of you. Manipulating me, so, but I allowed it to happen, so, you know, I take, I take my responsibility in that, so.

26:01 Drew All right, let's go back to the phones. Lisa is 26. Again, Adam is vomiting at home. I have no sympathy for him.

26:06 Caller Boy, am I drunk.

26:08 Drew Yeah, that's the point. The deal is, Adam, you call it one minute to ten. One minute to ten. Hmm. You know, sometimes when things don't just fit, my spidey senses up. One minute to ten. Lisa. Yes. Hi.

26:22 Caller This is a question for the doctor.

26:23 Yeah, I'm right here.

26:24 Caller I'm a type 1 diabetic.

26:26 Drew Yeah.

26:26 Caller I've had diabetes for about 17 years.

26:29 Drew Yeah.

26:29 Caller And late last November, I started dialysis.

26:34 Drew So you didn't take your insulin during your teenage years, did you?

26:37 Caller Well, I wasn't taking very good care of myself.

26:39 Drew Yeah, I can tell. I had dialysis by 26, and that's sort of a common thing. Adolescents start wanting not to be diabetic anymore and just refusing to take their insulin. How many episodes of DKA did you have?

26:51 Caller What's that? I'm sorry.

26:53 Drew Ketoacidosis?

26:54 Caller Oh, not too many. I was only hospitalized a couple of times.

26:59 Drew That's a lot for a young person. Anyway, so now we're on dialysis.

27:02 Caller Yeah. For the past about a month, a little over a month, I've been getting ill while on dialysis. Within an hour and a half of treatment, I'll get a headache, and then it will gradually, it will quickly become a migraine. Wow. Followed by nausea. And then vomiting.

27:21 Drew What have they been doing for that?

27:23 Caller They'll either put my feet up in the reclining chair that they can put us in and...

27:27 Drew So your pressure drops out on dialysis too, huh? Well, then maybe it's just all that. Maybe just you're very sensitive.

27:32 Caller I'm weak. And my...

27:34 Drew Okay, Lisa, that happens to some people on hemodialysis. Their pressures just drop out.

27:38 Caller Yeah. And I was wondering, do you know maybe what it could be that's making me ill?

27:44 Drew You have no blood pressure.

27:46 Caller Maybe this one of the medicines that they're giving me...

27:48 Drew Lisa?

27:49 Caller Yes.

27:49 Drew You have no blood pressure. That's making you ill.

27:52 Caller Okay.

27:53 Drew Okay, I'm sure your nephrologist is all over that.

27:56 Caller Actually, he's not really communicating with us. We're looking to another...

28:00 Drew Okay, then it's time to get another one. To get someone to understand. But it sounds like if they... If you get sick and they start putting your feet up and lying you flat, that's because you have no blood pressure. And that may be the whole story right there, that for whatever reason, whether you're sensitive to having the hemodialysis, that blood goes out of you into the kidney machine and it comes back in. And some people are very sensitive to that and have very profound reactions. And it's a serious deal. Let me ask this. Lisa? Lisa?

28:23 Caller Yes.

28:23 Drew Are you on the books for a kidney?

28:25 Caller Yes, I am.

28:25 Drew All right. You need to get yourself a kidney. Seriously, that's where you need to go with this.

28:28 Caller Yes, we found a donor.

28:29 Drew All right, great. Follow through on that, OK? You'll do great once you get a new kidney.

28:33 Caller I was wondering if maybe I was taking my treatments too early in the day because the other day I had to reschedule and I had it in the afternoon.

28:41 Drew You're asking me a question. It's sort of like asking why there was a failure of one of the rocket launchers and have to go there and look at a lot of stuff to figure out what's exactly going on. But you need to be able to communicate with your doctor. That is true. So get somebody new if you can't communicate with the guy you got. Scotty's 25. Scotty, you have a question for Stacy?

28:58 Yes, I did.

28:58 Dr. Drew, loving the chat rooms.

29:00 Drew Thank you.

29:01 And it looks like Adam bailed on you again.

29:04 Drew Yeah. Actually, usually I really like doing this by myself, but I wasn't sort of prepared for it. I was doing some stuff and work on the computer. And one minute before, not even one minute, we were going on the air when I heard that he was vomiting and not here. So.

29:16 Okay.

29:17 Caller My question for Stacy. Stacy?

29:19 Adam Yes.

29:19 How are you doing?

29:20 Adam I'm fine. Thanks. How are you?

29:21 I'm doing great.

29:22 I live in Seattle, Washington.

29:24 How do I get into adult films?

29:27 Adam Well. Okay. Here's my suggestion for all those men who want to get into the movies. Get about, I would say about 20 or 30 male friends, put them in a room with you and get naked and start to pleasure yourself. If you can keep it up and then finally, if someone in your audience tells you to pop now, and if you can do that on command, I would say you have about a 70% chance at getting into the business.

29:56 Caller That means I probably got a 0% chance.

29:58 Drew Then you also got to bring a woman with you when you come to offer your services.

30:01 Adam Makes it much easier.

30:03 Drew What do you say, be in a room with a bunch of guys?

30:05 Adam Yeah. Because when you're on set, oh, I see. You've got a crew of about 15 men very close to your private parts.

30:14 Drew Very interesting. Missy, 23. Missy?

30:18 Caller Yes.

30:18 Drew Hi there. What's up?

30:22 Caller I have a question. Yeah. I need to know if anal sex causes permanent damage.

30:29 Drew Can. It's not the greatest thing to do for yourself. Why would it happen?

30:35 Caller Well, it was one of those things he wanted to try, so I tried it and I heard that you have a muscle back there it can cause damage with. Yeah.

30:47 Drew You can tear and cause fissures and abscesses, all kinds of wonderful things.

30:51 Caller What kind of effects come from that?

30:54 Drew Pain. Mostly. I felt that. As long as things are okay right now, you're not having any bleeding or discharge or anything, you're probably made it through. So there you go. This is Jonah.

31:08 Stacy Valentine It's not Jonna.

31:09 Drew Jonna, 17.

31:11 Stacy Valentine My question is, I know it's gonna sound really stupid to you. I don't know how this started, but I wanted to know if there are any effects to, if you sniff mothballs.

31:26 Drew I don't really know what's in mothballs, to tell you the truth. Can't be good for you.

31:30 Stacy Valentine Cause like, I don't know. I just remember that I liked the smell of them a whole lot. I don't know why. I just like-

31:37 Drew What other drugs are you doing? What other drugs are you doing?

31:39 Stacy Valentine Nothing at all. Nothing.

31:40 Drew You've never done drugs?

31:42 Stacy Valentine No.

31:42 Drew Never hurt yourself? Tried to hurt yourself?

31:45 Stacy Valentine You mean like how?

31:47 Drew Cutting?

31:48 Stacy Valentine I used to.

31:49 Drew Okay. You got to get some help. Are you in treatment right now?

31:53 Stacy Valentine No.

31:54 Drew Come on.

31:55 Stacy Valentine Cause it doesn't have any-

31:58 Drew Forget it. Please. Come on. How did I know you were a cutter right away?

32:01 Stacy Valentine I don't know.

32:02 Drew Come on. You got to get some treatment.

32:05 Stacy Valentine The reason I want to know if there's any actual effects is because the only thing it does is it makes my nose tingle for like a minute and then it goes away. But I just like the smell. And I guess that's how I started. Cause I'll just like scrape a little bit of it off and just like-

32:20 Drew When you tried to hurt yourself, were you hospitalized?

32:24 Stacy Valentine No. Nobody knew about it.

32:25 Drew Have you ever been under psychiatric care?

32:27 Stacy Valentine No.

32:28 Drew Okay. I don't want you to hurt yourself for real. You're on the way. Okay. Do you have periods of time where you sort of forget where you are or sort of don't know what's happening, periods like that?

32:38 Stacy Valentine Oh, no. I mean, I've always been like a straight A student, a school-oriented person. So it's like...

32:47 Drew But do you have any periods of time where you sort of forget what you've done or where you've been, that kind of thing, where you sort of blacked out?

32:51 Caller Not that I know.

32:52 Drew When you were cutting on yourself or you were very aware of what was going on around you?

32:56 Stacy Valentine Oh, like times like that, yeah.

32:58 Drew Times like that what? You were sort of out of it?

33:01 Stacy Valentine And I wouldn't know what was going on.

33:03 Drew Yeah.

33:04 Stacy Valentine See, I had an anxiety attack about two weeks ago.

33:10 Drew Were you sexually abused when you were a kid? Were you abused when you were a kid? Sexually abused? Something like that?

33:15 Stacy Valentine No, never.

33:16 Drew I'm just picking up that you sort of had this dissociative quality about you, where you sort of fugue out and then you cut on yourself and that kind of thing. People that learn how to do that often learn to do that in circumstances of severe trauma in childhood. And I don't say you have to get treatment. This is Joe 18. Joe?

33:34 Caller Yeah.

33:34 Drew Hey.

33:35 Caller What's up?

33:36 Drew Hey. Finally good to talk to you. We heard you snore for quite a while last night.

33:39 Caller Yeah, yeah. That was...

33:41 Drew You appreciate that. Adam's not here. Don't blame me.

33:44 Caller Yeah, I know. Yeah, it was pretty funny.

33:47 Drew This is Joe. Do you have a type for that at all? This is Joe, who entertained Andy Dick and Adam and myself for a good 45 minutes with your snoring, so...

33:56 Caller Would there be any chance I could get a tape of that?

34:00 Drew Not from Arnie, because I can't even get them to play any back to me right now. So what's going on?

34:05 Caller Not much. I was wondering about this thing called Salvia Divinorum.

34:09 Drew Yeah, you're going to have to tell me more. What is it?

34:12 Caller It's like a... I don't know. It makes you trip for like half an hour. It's... You smoke it. It's legal, too. That's the thing about it. You can like buy it over the Internet. I'm like... I don't know. So I was just wondering. You don't know anything about it?

34:27 Drew I would love to know more about it. I'm sure I will be hearing about it because God knows as soon as you guys start using stuff, it shows up in the hospital.

34:33 Caller Okay. Well, nobody's like overdosed of it or done anything like that.

34:39 Drew You get it. What kind of experience do you get from it?

34:41 Caller Like, you're supposed to like close your eyes and you like hallucinate. Like, you feel your body being pulled different ways and stuff.

34:50 Drew Any drug that causes hallucination from its primary effect, in my experience, has always been neurotoxic, brain damaging. Every single one, whether it's E, LSD, DMX, whatever it is.

35:01 Caller What about mushrooms?

35:02 Drew Mushrooms, absolutely.

35:03 Adam That's poisoning your body. You're getting that tripping effect because your body's fighting off the poison.

35:08 Drew Is that correct? Well, that is an interesting thing that does happen with certain mushrooms and whatnot. But it appears that via mechanisms that are not well understood, it opens up pathways in the brain that are extra physiologic. They weren't supposed to happen in nature. And the body's response to that is for those cells to drop out, to die. So they're overstimulated, and then they go away for good. Pretty cool. Not a great idea. It's the thing that scares me most about you. Go do anything else, do anything else but use hallucinogens. That's the thing that scares me most about young people, is the wholesale abuse of hallucinogens right now, because it always has chronic effects. Maybe subtle, maybe almost immeasurable, but oftentimes significant. So watch it, all right? Okay. All right. Take care. Let's see. Oh, boy. These calls are going to even me down. Let's hear more about your movie. Was it interesting to make? Yeah. Did you write it?

36:06 Adam No. No. It's a documentary.

36:09 Drew Help me understand.

36:11 Adam She was with me. The filmmaker Christine Fugate was with me for two years of my life. She was-

36:17 Drew How did she know? I understand. I mean, help me understand this. When your husband said, go get in an industry, somebody showed up at your doorstep saying, I'm going to do a documentary about this?

36:25 Adam No. I had already started into the industry. I had been in the industry a few months. My manager, actually Christine, had been searching for someone to do a documentary on for about two years. She had interviewed about 30 different women and just didn't find the right one. She needed someone that was stable, that would stick with it because she needed to follow someone from-

36:47 Drew So most people in industry are not stable?

36:50 Adam Correct. I would say about 85 percent of the women that enter into the adult industry are out within a year.

36:58 Drew In what kind of condition?

37:02 Adam They just don't make it or else they use themselves up. They do a lot of scenes. Some girls do over 500 scenes in a year. I've only done 69 movies in four years. Right.

37:14 Drew So she followed you through these different-

37:17 Adam Through different parts of my life, yes.

37:20 Drew What did she document? She document the breakup of your husband?

37:23 Adam No, that was already done. That was done and over with before I moved out to LA. I did one movie. I came back home and I didn't bring a woman home and he said, okay, that's it. You're not doing movies anymore. You've cheated on me. You've failed me. Things like that.

37:39 Drew Wholesale. Wholesale abuse.

37:40 Adam It was his idea to begin with.

37:42 Drew Who's a major asshole?

37:45 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I agree. So I left him behind and came out to LA. I just realized that this was an opportunity that I could, you know, I, my self-esteem was low. I didn't feel that I had any other avenues and this was an avenue where I could get away from him and I could make my own money and I could be independent and that worked for me. I'm not suggesting that everyone in a bad marriage should try to get out and go, you know, get into adult movies, but it worked for me at that time. And so I've, I was 25 when I got into the business, so I was older, not, you know, I don't think that they should allow 18-year-olds to get into the business because you don't know, you know, this will be with me the rest of my life. I was very aware of that when I entered into the business. And it does limit you to some of the things, you know, I can't be president. I guess maybe I could try, but you know, and when you're 18, you don't, you don't know it and you see, you know, easy money and it's very seducing. And I don't, I don't think that that's, I don't think that's very positive.

38:54 Drew Guest is Stacy Valentine. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. It's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam is at home barfing. And I guess by now having diarrhea too, judging by what he alleges he had. And maybe we can make contact with him, Anderson. What do you think? Just to, just to...

39:08 Caller Just let me enjoy my weenie, please.

39:09 Caller I'm sure it's what he's doing.

39:10 Drew So it's Loveline and we'll be back in just a second.

39:19 Caller We'll be right back with more Loveline.

39:54 Drew Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. It's 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. I'm by myself tonight. I'm with my guest, Stacy Valentine. She has a movie called The Girl Next Door. And so you were saying what it was like to sort of make this film. And I imagine you'd feel very exposed because it is a documentary about your life. But you were saying that sitting down and talking in front of the camera became sort of your therapeutic sessions.

40:12 Adam Correct. Because my mother and father didn't really communicate. My dad would get mad and not talk. So I didn't grow up learning any communication skills. And with the camera, Christine would set up the camera on a tripod and it would start rolling. And she would sit down and just say, So what's been going on? And so we had a close bond. So it was easy for me to talk to her. I'd be like, Well, you'll never believe what happened.

40:43 Drew And was that how you were able to grow through this thing and get out of it, you think?

40:47 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

40:49 Drew You said something about it making you feel powerful.

40:52 Adam Yes.

40:52 Drew In these films.

40:53 Adam Yes. The money, being independent, not having to answer to anyone.

41:00 Drew Where did you first feel powerless?

41:05 Adam That's a good question. You know, I don't know.

41:12 Drew Because it seems like your a-hole husband made you powerless.

41:16 Adam Yes.

41:16 Drew That was, that was, and that seemed to be, you said it was sort of a reenactment of something. You were powerless. And the kind of power you got being in the porn industry makes me feel like it was a flip side of the same coin. You were still, you were still on the same page. Whatever made you feel powerless in childhood, you were still sort of responding to, rather than coming back to a more real place where you could empower yourself in ways that were what you needed in the moment, rather than some primitive leftover business from dad, I suspect.

41:49 Adam That's an interesting theory.

41:52 Drew Does it make sense?

41:54 Adam There's a little sense in that. I just, I feel that I'm a survivor. I dealt with the choices that I made, some good, some bad, obviously. I mean, who doesn't? And I came out on top. No pun intended. So, I think it's all good.

42:13 Drew This is Mike's 24 hrs question for Stacey. Mike?

42:16 Caller Hey, I'm a big fan of Stacey. I'm just interested in what inspired her to make her movie.

42:23 Drew She can talk to her. She's right here.

42:24 Caller Hey, Stacey, how you doing?

42:25 Adam Hey, I'm fine, thanks. How are you?

42:27 Caller I'm a big fan of yours. You're not doing movies anymore?

42:30 Adam I retired in February.

42:32 Caller Oh, you did?

42:32 Adam Yeah, I did my last movie.

42:34 Caller Yeah, what was it?

42:35 Adam Red Vibe Diaries Part 3.

42:37 Caller Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about the girl next door. I wanted to know what pretty much inspired you to do the movie and where is it going to be out?

42:53 Adam To answer that question, go to the website gndmovie.com and it lists all the theaters that it's playing throughout the United States.

43:05 Caller Okay.

43:06 Drew So it's going to get pretty wide release?

43:07 Adam Yes.

43:08 Caller It's just a documentary, right?

43:09 Adam Correct. Yeah.

43:11 Caller I mean, did it take you behind the scenes?

43:13 Adam Absolutely. Absolutely. You go behind the scenes on sets, at my house, at award shows, in Vegas, in France. You go back, you meet my mom and my stepdad.

43:25 Drew Oh, how was that? Your stepdad?

43:27 Adam Yeah.

43:27 Where's your real dad?

43:29 Caller Do you think men get messed up with the whole adult movie industry as much as women do? Or is it, you know, you think so many men want to get into the actual industry itself, but...

43:41 Adam Well, most guys want to get into the industry to have sex with beautiful women.

43:45 Caller Yeah. But do you think...

43:47 Stacy Valentine Yeah.

43:49 Caller I mean, is there... Are they, psychologically, after, you know, after maybe 10, 15 years of doing it, I mean, is it just something they regret, you think?

43:59 Adam Possibly. You'd have to talk to one of the male talents about that.

44:03 Drew What do they like, the males that are in this thing?

44:05 Adam I'm fortunate to work with a really great group of guys. I've got the upperclass guys and like Mark Davis and men like that, that are really nice and very professional.

44:18 Caller And I've heard it's true that you guys only have certain male stars that you'll work with. Is that true?

44:25 Adam Correct. I have a list of men I will work with.

44:27 Caller Yeah. And what necessary, what I guess the requirements are. I mean, is it based on like how clean they are?

44:36 Adam That has something to do with it. Looks and the main thing is their stamina, their wood ability to keep it up. Softies don't go very far in this business.

44:48 Caller Yeah.

44:49 Drew Okay, Mike.

44:50 Adam Thank God for Viagra.

44:51 Drew Oh, these guys use Viagra?

44:53 Adam I'm sure some of them do. It's not very much, very talked about.

44:57 Drew Interesting. I am in the chat rooms at drdrew.com. I'm in the college chat room. If you have questions for Stacy, you're not getting through on the phone line 1-800-LOVE-191. Again, you can log on to drdrew.com. Go into the college chat room. I'm not going to be typing into there. I may turn the computer over to Stacy. She can type in if she wants. We'll be watching for questions. Let's keep going on the phones. Thomas 15. Thomas?

45:17 Caller Yeah, I'd like to know if my penis is normal.

45:19 Drew All right. What's the length?

45:22 Caller Two inches.

45:24 Drew A little bit small, but you're 15. It's going to take... You've got six more years of growth ahead of you. Amber, 22. What's going on, Amber?

45:33 Caller Well, I've been married for about three and a half years. And I've been with my husband for about four and a half.

45:39 Drew You started when you were 18?

45:41 Caller Huh?

45:41 Drew You were 18? Yeah, okay.

45:43 Caller Yeah. And I've never orgasmed with him. It's like...

45:49 Drew Where has it happened?

45:51 Caller What? Where have I? Orgasms?

45:54 Drew Well, you said not with him.

45:56 Caller Not with him. I have like... I think I have like woken up in the middle of the night.

46:03 Drew Had like a... Okay, okay.

46:05 Caller But I've never during sex or foreplay or anything.

46:10 Drew Okay. Are you okay?

46:12 Caller Huh?

46:13 Drew You sound real sort of uncomfortable about all this.

46:16 Caller Well, it's kind of uncomfortable for me. I've only talked to my female doctor about it.

46:22 Drew Okay.

46:22 Caller And my first doctor, I never talked to about it, but...

46:25 Drew Okay.

46:25 Stacy Valentine All right.

46:27 Drew It's good you're able to talk to your doctor about it. That's great.

46:30 Adam I think women, you need to... Actually, I suggest a pocket rocket, trying that.

46:37 Drew Is that what it's called?

46:38 Adam Yeah. It's a small little vibrator. And I don't get stimulated. There's certain ways you probably have an orgasm. Like through your clitoris on the outside as opposed to inside. Do you guys have oral sex?

46:55 Caller Uh-huh. He'll...

46:57 Caller I mean, he goes forever. He'll go forever. And he feels like... He takes it personal. And I feel really bad because I'm sure it's not him. And I'm wondering too if I work myself up so much for it that I can't because I'm trying...

47:16 Drew Too hard. Trying too hard.

47:18 Caller Yeah.

47:18 Drew All right, Amber. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. We're gonna have to take a break right here. And we'll come back and quickly wrap up with Amber. I'm here with Stacy Valentine. The movie is The Girl Next Door. This is Loveline. Adam's at Home Vomiting. I'm Dr. Drew and we'll be back.

47:32 Caller Loveline.

47:33 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191. Back in a minute.

47:36 Caller Well, it's worth hearing.

48:18 Drew Welcome back to Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla, my nefarious partner, was at home doing something. He claims it's regurgitating, vomiting, he's got food poisoning, something. I don't know if we'll find out if that's real or not. My guest is Stacy Valentine. She has a documentary about her life, which is going to be released widely, The Girl Next Door, and it really sounds very interesting. It follows her from her life with a total F-ing A-hole, if I could say, Adam's language, husband, who really was abusive and made her feel powerless, and her way of empowering herself was to get involved in this adult industry. And this movie chronicles her career through that and out on the other side. And it's interesting, you said that the camera and the relationship with the, she was the director, what should we call her, director? became therapeutic. And I wonder if really that bond that you created with the director, and by the way, Stacy is in the college chat room at drdrew.com interacting with users right now. She's actually the one doing the typing. So I'm sure people are in there going, no, it's not her. We get a billion, whenever I go to the chat room, I immediately get, it's not really you. I'm going to waste my time now defending that it's me. It's Stacy typing as Dr. DDP right now at the college chat room, drdrew.com. And this bond you had with the director, I suspect, I suspect may have been part of what allowed you to get out of this because people really only change and grow by virtue of their connections with other people.

49:47 Adam Yes.

49:47 Drew And this sounds like one of the very real connections in your life.

49:50 Adam Yeah. She's a very powerful, strong woman. Did she encourage you to get out? No. The thing that was hard for her is because she was the filmmaker, she could not get involved in my life. And there are a lot of things that she watched me do that she would, as a friend, would like to have stepped up and said, don't do that. But then she would have been involved in the movie.

50:14 Drew In a more real way, huh?

50:15 Adam She had to stay removed from it.

50:17 Drew And you now are a friend of hers.

50:19 Adam Yes.

50:19 Drew And now she does confide in you and advise you.

50:22 Adam Absolutely. When I was going to go out on a date the other night, she told me, absolutely not, don't do it. It was a blind date. She's like, no.

50:29 Drew Excellent. We were talking to Amber before the break, she's 22. She's been with her husband for four years, never had an orgasm. Stacy was talking about, I don't know, something from NASA, pocket rockets or something. And Amber, you were saying that your husband's very giving and he spends a lot of time with you, right? And in spite of that, no go. No.

50:53 Caller And I talked to my doctor about hormones and about, she says, well, you look fine.

50:59 Drew No, of course, that's not what it is. Of course, it would not be a biological thing, I suspect. And women 18 to 22 very often have difficulty with this.

51:08 Caller Well, I have two kids. And so she said, well, you...

51:11 Drew Take it back. You could have something to do with it. You what? I'm sorry.

51:15 Caller I have two kids.

51:16 Caller So she said, well, your hormones just need, you didn't even give them time. Well, I've given them a year and a half since my last baby.

51:25 Drew But your hormones have never been right, right? You've never been able to experience this.

51:28 Caller No, I never have.

51:29 Drew And what about masturbation?

51:31 Caller And I'm not comfortable with any of that kind of stuff.

51:33 Drew And that's kind of what you need to do is figure out how things work.

51:37 Caller Well, that's what most people say to me, too, about that I need or I've heard, I've had a lot of friends tell me, get a vibrator.

51:45 Drew Well, that's what Stacy just said. Well, it may not be something that your partner can do for you, you must do for yourself. Certainly, if he's a giving guy, an empathic guy, and you're able to communicate to him, maybe you could work it out together, but it's going to take some experimentation.

52:02 Caller So I should probably try something if I ever want to. Yeah.

52:07 Adam I think so because in the privacy of your own home, and not necessarily when your husband's around, and once you know what that feeling is like, and you find the right spot, then you can guide him. And I think communication while you're having being romantic is essential.

52:27 Drew Now that is another thing. Now I'm of the belief, and I've talked to lots of women through this program, and other clinical set of circumstances, that women really need an emotional connection. And not all women, many women need an emotional connection order for their normal sort of physiology to take over. They have difficulty if they don't sort of feel intimate. Men can be lying on railroad tracks anywhere. And so maybe she also needs to work on the quality of the relationship and the comfort she has with her husband, that sort of thing. Okay, let's keep going with the calls. This is, and Mike was 39. Mike?

53:01 How you doing, Dr. Drew?

53:02 Drew Good. What's going on?

53:03 Hey, pretty good. Hi there, Stacey.

53:05 Adam Hi. How are you?

53:06 Hey, not too bad. Listen, paying tribute to our departed Ace Rockolla, you are hot, hot, hot.

53:12 Drew Oh, I thank you, Mike.

53:14 Oh, you too, Drew. Thanks, Stacey.

53:16 Drew She's in the college chat room at drdrew.com with a couple hundred of her friends, and she's actually typing away under as Dr. DDP.

53:23 Hey, listen, I have a question. I've been smoking cigarettes for a long time.

53:27 Drew Yeah.

53:28 I smoked marijuana for 21 years. I gave it up about two years ago.

53:32 Drew Wonderful.

53:33 Now, I've been taking the Zyban, Welbutrin.

53:36 Drew Right.

53:37 And I stopped taking it because it made me aggressive.

53:41 Drew Yeah. I've had people have that side effect.

53:44 Because I was reading something how it's chemically similar in some respects to speed. Have you ever heard that?

53:49 Drew Well, it's not chemically similar, but it activates a similar part of the central nervous system, albeit in a non-addictive way.

53:56 Because I was wondering if it had like some kind of bearing on the fact that, you know, I used to smoke marijuana so much.

54:02 Drew No, no, I'd say not, but it can't, some people get terribly irritable, and when they get irritable, they get aggressive and even violent sometimes.

54:09 Yeah, because I almost went off of my boss and I had to stop myself and say, what the heck am I doing?

54:13 Drew Yeah, that's irritability.

54:14 Okay, well anyway, is there anything else you think might be able to help me?

54:19 Drew Nicotine replacement patches, gum, lower dose of Welbutrin maybe, work with a doctor.

54:25 You think that might do it?

54:26 Drew Maybe, I've been using Welbutrin for a long time for addiction withdrawal, I've been using it for stimulants for a long time and it does work so I do recommend it strongly. It really, really helps. Especially Renata, did you have ADD when you were a kid?

54:39 No, I just got hooked up with the wrong people and used it for a crutch for 21 years. I actually didn't go through the depression stage you talked about so often.

54:48 Drew Why did you stop then?

54:49 Because I was no longer with the woman who I was codependent with. We were both mutual addicts so to speak.

54:56 Drew Were you using it every day?

54:57 Yeah. Oh yeah.

54:58 Drew You liked it? You liked it?

55:00 Oh, I loved it.

55:01 Drew There you go.

55:02 Now when I smell somebody smoking it, it gets me to the point where I'm almost angry about it. Like, oh man, I wasted so much time on that junk.

55:11 Drew Interesting.

55:12 Because I had to worry about, oh, I can't go to this job interview because they're going to drug test me. I can't do this. I can't do that. So I just stayed in neutral. Interesting.

55:21 Drew Well, I'm glad you're out.

55:23 I am too. Hey, kudos to you, Dr. Drew.

55:25 Drew Thanks, Mike.

55:26 Big, big service to a lot of kids. I wish you were around 20 years ago.

55:30 Drew Thanks. Appreciate it. I actually was. No, thanks, Mike. Take care. Bye-bye. I don't believe it when I started doing this 17 years ago, but I wasn't doing it as regularly. I didn't know quite as much when I was talking about it. Eric is 20.

55:42 Hi. I had a sexual relationship when I was younger with my cousin. For as long as I can remember, probably from about that period, I've had feelings of guilt and low self-esteem.

55:53 Drew How old were you when this happened?

55:55 I can't pinpoint it, but I would estimate I was six, seven, maybe five years old.

56:01 Drew This was a he or a she?

56:03 It was a she.

56:03 Drew How old was she?

56:04 She was two years younger than I am, and the problem arose, part of it, when my older cousin who was two years older than I walked in and witnessed this. I was exposing myself to her when he walked in.

56:21 Drew Well, now, wait a minute. Were you actually having sex with her?

56:24 No, just a lot of heavy petting, fondling, without clothing, fondling.

56:30 Drew A sweet amount of that is normal, Eric, as long as it's not sexually directed, like you're going to have your inner course and things. So it sounds more like that the exposure was what the problem was, that you were engaged in an intimate, naughty thing and somebody caught you, and that made you feel so awful.

56:46 Yeah, it was repeatedly, we do it in the backseat of the car where the parents were in the car.

56:50 Drew So the problem is you already felt so bad and guilty about what you were doing, and then being caught, just put it over the top. This is not usually the kind of thing, unless the other child had been sexually abused and really was directing this in a sexual way, I mean, this doesn't have to be destructive. How are your relationships?

57:11 Very poor. I feel I've got an intrusive parent, and throughout high school, junior high, throughout high school, I repeatedly would form very strong codependent attachments to people who would later just totally reject me, just, I mean, to my face, say I was an idiot.

57:31 Drew Oh boy.

57:32 I'd still sort of cling to them. At one point, I got into smoking marijuana multiple times a day in high school.

57:40 Drew Are you an addict?

57:42 I haven't done anything. I haven't smoked any pot in a year and a half, probably. I feel like there's a little bit of manic depression in my family. I feel like I do have strong emotional responses.

57:54 Drew Why don't you get checked out and get some help?

57:57 That would be a good idea. In addition to that-

58:00 Drew Don't waste so much time. I mean, if you get in some sort of therapeutic circumstance, maybe you can get through this and get more effective in your choices and relationships and really get going here. A 12-step program would be effective for you, too.

58:11 12-step? Is that a drug-rehabilitation?

58:13 Drew Well, just start with a codependency recovery like Al-Anon. You've got sort of that complex going on, that codependency circumstance.

58:21 Yeah, I feel my dad's probably manic-depressive.

58:23 Drew Well, dealing with a mentally ill patient, a family member, can create a sort of a codependency. They could be helpful in the 12-step process if you feel uncomfortable going to a recovery program. Stacy, what's going on in that chat room?

58:34 Adam There's somebody that really wants to know where I live. I already told you, California, stop asking me.

58:39 Drew Yeah, she is not going to tell you, stalker. Geez. We can track you at drdrew.com. I got news for you. Robert, 26. Robert?

58:48 Hello.

58:48 Drew Hey.

58:49 Yeah, how are you doing, Dr. Drew?

58:50 Drew Good. I'm good. Adam's gone. Stacy Valentine's here.

58:53 Hello, Stacy. Listen, maybe this is a good day for me to call and ask you my problems. So I'm 26 and through high school, I never had a date. That's because I felt kind of awkward and I was new in the country at the time. I'm a bit nervous, so you know.

59:15 Drew Okay, go ahead, Robert.

59:16 And so now 26, I feel like I missed that, you know, like dating young girls.

59:24 Drew Oh boy, I'm afraid of where you're going.

59:28 Yeah, you see what I'm saying? I know it's wrong, so I want some advice. I want you to tell me that it's wrong.

59:34 Drew Well, don't do it. That's easy enough. That's easy. You know better. You know where it's coming from. Look, if you get connected with one person your age, all this other crap is going to go away. You just need some success.

59:45 I do have a girlfriend.

59:47 Drew Well, why isn't, why do you want, you're not happy with her?

59:50 I'm happy with her. I love her.

59:52 Drew Well, why would you want to date somebody else?

59:54 See, it's not that I want to date. It's rather I want to see what I missed being with her. Because I know, I hear you show very often, you know, and I hear these, these teams, you know, and I'm telling you how... Toculence... .and it actually makes me feel like, like I missed her, you know.

1:00:14 Drew Well, you did. And you need to sort of find ways to capture that part of yourself, that adolescent self that you sort of skipped over. But an inappropriate way to get in touch with that is to start relating to other adolescents. You're not adolescent anymore. You need to stay focused on what's real about you in the present, and maybe engage in some activities that you lost or didn't have an opportunity to perform because you were whatever you were doing during your adolescence, whether it's skiing or whatever, some sort of activity that might get you in touch with that part of yourself. But an inappropriate way to do it is to try to hunt down other 16, 17, 18-year-olds. That is a disaster. Tina's 29. Tina? Hi. Hang on a second. What are they saying in there? Stacy's having a great time in the chat room. You're the fastest typist I've ever seen. What's happening?

1:01:05 Adam Somebody's very excited that I talked about him on the radio.

1:01:08 Drew The one to stalk you. Tina, 29.

1:01:10 Caller Hi. I've heard you talk about child molestation, child with child.

1:01:18 Drew Child on child, yeah.

1:01:20 Caller I am married and I have little or no sex drive and it becomes really frustrating with my husband, you can imagine.

1:01:31 Drew Are you on any medication?

1:01:33 Caller None.

1:01:33 Drew You have no biological, no medical problems, anything like that?

1:01:35 Caller No. None whatsoever. But I don't know what it is. He's a wonderful husband. I have no idea. I mean, he's everything I've ever wanted.

1:01:47 Drew Did this suddenly drop off?

1:01:50 Caller Before we were married, it was wonderful.

1:01:52 Drew Are you depressed?

1:01:54 Caller Yeah. I go through depression.

1:01:55 Drew Maybe that needs to be treated. I hear you sighing on the other edge.

1:02:01 Caller I am nervous.

1:02:02 Drew Well, you're depressed. If you're depressed, that's a sign of a depression.

1:02:05 Caller Okay.

1:02:06 Drew And for women, a drop off in libido is a very sensitive indicator of depression. Now, whether or not there's something, is there something from your past you want to tell me about?

1:02:14 Caller Well, I was just wondering, when I was a child, my parents had best friends, and they had a daughter who was four years older than me, and they would go, say, out for dinner or whatever, and she was left to kind of make sure that I got in bed on time and things like that, and we did the whole truth or dare thing, and I remember distinctly there was a time when it was truth or dare, and I dare you to take off your panties and touch private parts, type of thing.

1:02:44 Drew That's kind of normal. It doesn't have to be anything serious with that. Again, it's when it becomes sexually directed that it tends to traumatize kids.

1:02:53 Caller OK.

1:02:53 Drew In other words, one of the kids was sexually abused, has been overtly sexualized, and then takes that brain that they now have, which is different than the usual child's brain, and acts it out on another child. It's sort of a contagion. I would suspect the most likely thing here is actually depression.

1:03:10 Caller Hello?

1:03:11 Drew Hello?

1:03:12 Caller Hi.

1:03:12 Drew I would suspect the most likely thing here is actually depression.

1:03:15 Caller All right.

1:03:15 Drew All right.

1:03:17 Caller And suggested help for that?

1:03:20 Drew See your doctor. Just to start out with, to get an evaluation.

1:03:23 Caller Gynecologist or family practitioner?

1:03:25 Drew Family practitioner would be the place to start.

1:03:26 Caller OK.

1:03:26 Drew OK?

1:03:27 Caller Thanks.

1:03:27 Drew All right. This is Dean. There's a question for Stacy. Dean, it's 30.

1:03:31 Caller Hi.

1:03:31 Stacy Valentine Hey.

1:03:33 Caller Yeah, I had a couple of questions for Stacy. The first one, I came in late on the show, so I apologize, but what years were you in the adult film industry? And I wanted to know, you said you became kind of empowered, and I was wondering if working with all those women and doing bisexual scenes, if that was part of your empowerment?

1:03:56 Adam No, no. With working with women, I am bisexual. I'm attracted to women. And so I thank you. Thank you very much. Women are beautiful. They're amazing. I know why guys are so obsessed with women. We're great. But no, that didn't have anything to do with that. Actually, the empowerment...

1:04:21 Caller When you were with that abusive a-hole or whatever, did you know you were bisexual then?

1:04:27 Adam Yes. Yes. I've always fantasized about women, especially breasts.

1:04:33 Caller I didn't know whether it was something that you picked up later in porn or you know the whole time.

1:04:38 Adam No. Yes. Yes. I was very aware of my sexuality.

1:04:41 Caller So then who was your favorite starlet to work with?

1:04:44 Adam Sidney Steele. She's a great friend as well. And that's what attracts me even more than I mean, she's beautiful. But her personality is just amazing. So she's my favorite. And I started on. I did my first scene on Valentine's Day in 96. That's how I get my name. And I retired on the at the end of February of this year. So four years.

1:05:14 Drew Oh, boy.

1:05:15 Adam Wow.

1:05:15 Drew That's a little bit weird. Tom 20. Tom. Hey, what's going on? Not much.

1:05:20 I just have a little question. Yeah. Well, I have these two little holes. And they're on my penis. Now, it's like I was pierced. I've heard a lot of different things maybe that it has to do with the circumcision actually.

1:05:38 Drew Yeah. They're sort of near the head on the underside.

1:05:42 Yeah.

1:05:42 Drew Yeah. That's probably what that is. It's just simply that. Something happened?

1:05:47 Adam Performed an illegal operation.

1:05:48 Drew Uh-oh. It's logged off. Lynn 19. Lynn. Lynn.

1:05:55 Caller Oh, I'm sorry. I think you've been.

1:05:57 Drew Call her who goes by Lynn.

1:05:59 Yes.

1:06:01 Stacy Valentine I have panicked on one of the...

1:06:02 Drew Just real quick, for the people that are at drdrew.com, the machine just screwed up on us here. We're going to get back into the chat rooms in a second. Go ahead. I'm sorry, Lynn.

1:06:10 Oh, OK. I have panic disorder. And last night, I was having sex with my boyfriend. And I was breathing hard, you know? And then afterwards, I could not catch my breath for like 45 minutes. I mean, it was like someone with asthma or something. I just could not breathe.

1:06:28 Drew Do you have asthma?

1:06:29 No, I don't.

1:06:32 Drew There are things that can trigger what's called bronchospasm. Did you see anyone about this?

1:06:38 No, I didn't. It finally went away, but I do feel like the physical symptoms of anxiety, like now my chest feels tight, my heart seems to be pounding like all day today.

1:06:49 Drew Well, but that could be from an asthmatic reaction too. Be careful. It's interesting. Anxiety certainly can mimic just about any medical syndrome you can imagine.

1:06:58 Yeah.

1:06:58 Drew But don't always dismiss it as that. Okay. Just being, all kinds of things can trigger what's called bronchospasm, where your airways will tighten down a little bit. And the ability for air to flow down those airways are profoundly affected by the diameter of the airway.

1:07:14 Yeah.

1:07:15 Drew And a small change, a small muscular contraction in the airway smooth muscle will cause substantial symptoms. Difficulty breathing, chest tightness, rapid heartbeat, all that. There's certainly a possibility. So go see a doctor about it. They're very simple sometimes to treat this.

1:07:31 Would smoking affect fat?

1:07:34 Drew It certainly puts you at risk for it.

1:07:36 I have one other question just real quick. It has to do with panic disorder.

1:07:39 Drew Yeah.

1:07:40 Does drinking tend to? I mean, I'm on Paxil to treat it. Does drinking like exacerbate?

1:07:50 Drew Tends to.

1:07:51 Panic disorder?

1:07:52 Drew Yeah, it tends to.

1:07:53 Huh?

1:07:53 Drew Not necessarily, but it certainly can.

1:07:55 OK, because it seems like I've been drinking more lately and now my panic disorder seems like the panic attacks seem to be a little more common. So, I wasn't sure if it had anything to do with that.

1:08:07 Adam Why are you drinking more lately?

1:08:09 I'm not sure. It seems to be sort of a cycle. I feel more anxious during the day, and sometimes the only way to get rid of it is by having a couple of beers. But I'm not sure if that's then leading to, you know, more of the anxiety or what.

1:08:29 Drew Is there alcohol in your family?

1:08:31 Yeah.

1:08:31 Drew You may have that gene. If you're using alcohol as a way of managing anxiety, that's not an appropriate way to use it.

1:08:36 Yeah, I recognize that in myself. I see myself heading straight down that path.

1:08:40 Drew So, whoever's prescribing your Paxil, you need to begin discussing it with them, all right?

1:08:44 I'm sorry, what?

1:08:45 Drew You need to talk to the doctor who's prescribing your Paxil about these behaviors.

1:08:49 Oh, okay.

1:08:49 Drew It really is important. And know that, yes, absolutely, as the alcohol picks up momentum, your panic will get worse.

1:08:56 Okay.

1:08:57 Drew All right?

1:08:57 All right. Thank you very much.

1:08:59 Drew It is Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm desperately trying to log back in to the college chat room at drdrew.com where we fell out just a second ago and I can't figure out why I can't log back in. Stacy Valentine is my guest. The movie is The Girl Next Door. Being wide release when?

1:09:15 Adam It's already started.

1:09:16 Drew Starting a wide release. You got to check that out and there's a website they can check for local listings.

1:09:21 Adam Yes, it's www.gndmovie.com.

1:09:26 Drew And we'll be back in just a minute.

1:09:28 Caller Yo, Loveline will be right back, homie.

1:10:09 Drew It's Dr. Drew, it's Loveline, Adam's not here. I'm here with Stacy Valentine. Let's go right back to the phone. Albert is 19. Albert.

1:10:15 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew.

1:10:15 Caller Hey, not much.

1:10:17 Caller Just had two real quick questions for you. First of all, what is the likeliness of catching HIV through oral sex?

1:10:26 Drew Nobody can tell you for sure. It's only recently been proven that it can occur though.

1:10:30 Caller It can occur?

1:10:31 Drew It can occur.

1:10:31 Caller Okay. And also, does a person have to have a herpes or warts, general warts break out in order for someone else to contract them?

1:10:39 Drew Absolutely not. Especially the wart situation. But neither the herpes tends to be transmitted when there's an outbreak. But neither the wart nor the herpes needs to be active for transmission to occur.

1:10:49 Caller Okay. Well, thanks a lot.

1:10:50 Drew All right. Take care. So now it's Christina, who is 26. Christina?

1:10:55 Stacy Valentine Yes. I was just wondering, my husband and I have been married for two and a half years, and he's very interested in having anal sex. And we've tried it before, but it's very painful for me. I don't know if there was like something that could help that, or maybe I just can't do that.

1:11:16 Adam I have an answer to that. When you tried it, did you use lubrication?

1:11:22 Stacy Valentine Yeah, we did. Okay.

1:11:23 Adam And the way I would get ready for my anal scenes was, I would use what's called a non-skid butt plug.

1:11:32 Caller A what?

1:11:34 Adam It's called a butt plug. I would start off with a small one, and move up to a medium-sized one, and then to a large one, depending on my partner, to loosen up those muscles, because it is quite a shock.

1:11:49 Drew But, Christina, is it that important to you to engage in this stuff?

1:11:52 Stacy Valentine Um, well.

1:11:53 Drew That you have to use graduated cylinders in order to let your body accommodate this?

1:11:58 Stacy Valentine I don't know.

1:11:59 Drew Oh, come on.

1:12:00 Adam I did that for my business, but why are you doing it? Are you doing it because he's pressuring you? And if so...

1:12:05 Stacy Valentine No, and actually...

1:12:06 Drew And why do you sound 12?

1:12:08 Stacy Valentine I do?

1:12:09 Drew Yeah.

1:12:09 Stacy Valentine No, I'm not 12. I'm 26.

1:12:12 Drew Did something happen to you when you were 12?

1:12:14 Stacy Valentine Excuse me?

1:12:15 Drew Did you traumatize when you were 10 or 11?

1:12:17 Stacy Valentine Um, yeah.

1:12:18 Drew What happened?

1:12:21 Stacy Valentine Abuse by my father.

1:12:23 Drew At what age?

1:12:24 Caller 11.

1:12:26 Drew Yeah, I could just...

1:12:27 Caller You're so smart.

1:12:28 Drew You can hear it. You can just hear it. Christina, yeah, now, let me continue to use my clairvoyance. She is involved with a guy like your husband. Like Stacy's husband. So let Stacy tell you what to do about this.

1:12:42 Adam Okay. With the anal sex? Okay.

1:12:45 Drew No, no, no.

1:12:45 Adam Oh, what?

1:12:45 Drew About what it is to be involved with an A-hole. Because her dad sexually abused her when she was 10 years old, and now she's involved with a guy who's demanding all the stuff for her that she doesn't... She thinks she has to do. You know what I mean? The stuff you used to do on behalf of your husband, here she is. It's Stacy at 26.

1:13:02 Adam That had a lot to do with my self-esteem. I had no self-esteem. And you're worth so much more. I mean, don't ever settle and don't let him plant that in your mind that that's what you want to do, because it's clearly... it's hurting you. And I don't think that's turning you on or making you feel very good, if it's painful.

1:13:21 Stacy Valentine Well, he doesn't ask me for it that often. It's just that I've... when he did mention it, I've thought about it and then we tried, and then it was painful and then we haven't tried since.

1:13:33 Drew But Christina, what kind of guy are you involved with? Your husband.

1:13:36 Stacy Valentine Huh?

1:13:36 Drew What kind of guy is your husband?

1:13:38 Stacy Valentine Um, he's a very, very, very good husband, very hardworking and loyal and...

1:13:45 Drew All right, all right, so be it. All right, enjoy.

1:13:49 Stacy Valentine Okay.

1:13:49 Drew Okay, bye, Christina. Okay, Stacy is back in the college chat room. She's now as Dr. DDPP because I'm well aware there's some imposter in there as Dr. DDP and understand that is impersonating a physician and is a federal offense, so we will be after that person. This is Thomas 17. Thomas?

1:14:08 Yeah, hi, Dr. Drew.

1:14:08 Drew Hey, good.

1:14:10 First, I'd like to commend you on your show. I think it's great that you help, you know, teenagers have someone to call when they need help. And also, Stacy, I think it's great that you get out of the porn industry.

1:14:20 Adam Thank you.

1:14:21 Probably, you know, I don't like bashing it or anything, but I probably don't think it's the greatest thing.

1:14:26 Drew Let me ask Stacy something about it. If you had been Christina calling this show talking about your husband, wouldn't you have been defending him?

1:14:31 Adam Absolutely. Absolutely.

1:14:33 Drew Yeah. He's the greatest. He's hardworking. He's a wonderful man. I want to make him happy. How do you make a woman see what they're really involved with or can you?

1:14:41 Adam I don't think you can. That's one of those life lessons that you have to learn yourself, which I wish I would have listened to half of the things my mother told me because she was right about all of them.

1:14:50 Drew Wow. That's interesting. Thomas, what's up?

1:14:53 Caller Okay. Well, about a month ago, I noticed when I was hard that I have these two, I don't know, they look like warts. Where? On the shaft of my penis.

1:15:06 Drew And they are warts?

1:15:08 Caller I don't, like I can't see them when I'm like limp, you know.

1:15:11 Drew Are you sexually active?

1:15:14 Caller I get oral sex quite often. I've been getting oral sex from someone. I know that she's given it to other guys before.

1:15:20 Drew Well, that's not a great way to transmit the word virus. Have you ever had intercourse?

1:15:24 Caller Yes, when I was a little bit younger, when I was about 15.

1:15:26 Drew All right. So you could, are we using condom? Is it possible you can contract to the warts through that?

1:15:30 Caller No, I used a condom and it was someone that I had known for quite a while. It was like a relationship type of deal.

1:15:36 Drew All right. So it might be the pearly-penile papules. That's the other thing. Pearly-penile papules, which are these little sort of wart-like things that appear along the shaft of the penis. They usually often can have a hair follicle associated with it. PPP, pearly-penile papules. But if you have any question, you should of course continue to wear a condom and then have a doctor take a look at it. Julia is 24.

1:15:58 Hi.

1:15:58 Drew Hey.

1:15:59 Dr. Drew, I wanted to say that I enjoy this show so much more when Adam's not on.

1:16:02 Drew God, Julia, I love you. Thank you.

1:16:05 So much more informationally intensive.

1:16:07 Drew Thank you. I like that drop. Tell me that drop again.

1:16:10 Informationally intensive?

1:16:11 Drew Terrible.

1:16:12 Caller That one.

1:16:14 My question, you never talk about living together.

1:16:17 Drew That's true. We don't.

1:16:18 Ever. And my question is this. My father is a psychologist and he's also very religious.

1:16:23 Drew Yeah.

1:16:23 And so I think that he has some information, but I wonder how much of it is tainted. Yeah. My boyfriend and I are thinking about moving in together and he is adamant that it's the worst thing that I can do. It's going to be the end of this relationship. It's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is there any validity to that?

1:16:38 Drew There actually is. I've seen some studies that show improved outcomes of people that don't live together before they get married. I have trouble believing that's accurate. I don't see any problem with it, but that may just be on my opinion. Maybe I'm tainting it.

1:16:53 What kind of groups are coming out with this information?

1:16:56 Drew You know, I don't remember where I've read this, but I've definitely read some data. And it's limited studies, not great, you know, big studies or anything. And I wasn't overwhelmed with the study design and execution. However, the fact that it was enough to catch my attention sort of surprised me, and that the outcome was so clearly an improved outcome. So it doesn't fit my experience. Okay. And so I suspect that it's probably tainted in some way, but I don't want to bias the data with the data. Okay. And I don't see any problem with it. I lived with my wife for a while before we got married. I think it's a... I really don't see any problem with it. I think it's more that if... I would argue that if you see data that shows, in fact, if good data shows that that's the case, that it must say something more about the conditions under which people get into their living arrangement than the fact that they live together. Do you understand what I'm saying?

1:17:50 Caller That was, yes, my understanding also. I think a lot of people move in together because, oh, well, it'll be cheaper or...

1:17:57 Drew Or whatever, or they're pregnant, or they have to, or whatever, or somebody has expectations and the other one doesn't, but it's convenient for them. You know, what could it possibly be about living together that intrinsically could be bad for a relationship? I don't see it.

1:18:12 Caller Right.

1:18:12 Drew Do you?

1:18:13 Caller I can't think of anything.

1:18:14 Drew I don't see it, I don't see it. Other than sort of creating more sort of... People talk about creating more romance and more sort of... I don't want to use the word idealized, but sort of invest more in the intimacy and that by creating a specialness to it, maybe you can invest more.

1:18:32 Caller You're coming in and out, I can hardly hear you.

1:18:34 Drew See, I understand. There's some problem with... You're not the first person to complain about that, Julia, that when on the phone people don't hear everything I say.

1:18:41 Caller Okay.

1:18:41 Drew Julia.

1:18:42 Caller Yes.

1:18:43 Drew Go live with your boyfriend.

1:18:43 Caller Okay.

1:18:44 Drew Thank you. Bye.

1:18:44 Caller Bye-bye.

1:18:45 Drew All right. This is Jenny, 29.

1:18:48 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew.

1:18:49 Drew Hi, Jenny.

1:18:50 Caller Hi, Stacy. Hi.

1:18:51 Adam How are you?

1:18:52 Caller Good.

1:18:52 Congratulations on your retirement.

1:18:54 Adam Thank you.

1:18:55 Stacy Valentine You're welcome.

1:18:57 I don't know if I'm really looking for an answer to a question, maybe more of a confirmation.

1:19:02 Drew Hold on a second, Jenny. Do you want to ask something that's in the chat rooms?

1:19:05 Adam Yeah. Someone was asking me about my implants and they had a double... I can't pronounce it.

1:19:11 Drew They'd had a mastectomy.

1:19:12 Adam Thank you. But it just stops it since my what?

1:19:21 Drew Mastectomy probably. I have a number of patients that have had the reconstructive surgery and it really works well. I think that it helps people restore their sense of themselves as women.

1:19:34 Adam Absolutely.

1:19:34 Drew Someone has been taken away from them and this is an opportunity to help them restore that and actually to shape things what they want and it can be quite empowering. I would think in the setting of a double mastectomy where something is being taken away, there's such a traumatic circumstances.

1:19:46 Adam Correct. It's such a feminine. That's the way society portrays femininity by the breast.

1:19:55 Drew Jenny?

1:19:56 Yeah.

1:19:57 Drew Go ahead.

1:19:59 I was adopted at birth and I grew up in a very good family, but I always had problems with that. But I found out recently that I was born to drug addict parents. My father was molesting my sister who stayed in the family.

1:20:15 Caller Oh, boy.

1:20:16 Drew Thank God you were adopted out.

1:20:18 Oh, thank God. It's no fairy tale what I've discovered in this search.

1:20:23 Caller Oh, boy.

1:20:25 But I waited till I was of an adult age and ready to handle it with the support of my family. But it answered a lot of questions because I was hit by this. I started using drugs at a very young age. I quit that at age 20. I haven't used for almost 10 years, but I went into these relationships from hell, my God. This is very genetic, isn't it?

1:20:48 Drew Well, the disease is. The relationship from hell part probably isn't, although addicts do tend to use thrill-seeking mechanisms as a way of sort of regulating their emotional world, and so relationships that have a high degree of risk and the thrill associated with them may be things you're attracted to. Also, God only knows what kind of imprinting goes on an early childhood. How old were you when you were adopted out?

1:21:11 I was adopted at birth.

1:21:12 Drew So it's hard to imagine that had a significant effect on it, but the disease itself, yeah, it's a 50-50 chance that you're going to get the disease, and you clearly got the gene.

1:21:20 Yeah, but what I'm worried about too is I know my biological mother was using drugs. I think she was using them when she was pregnant with me. And what kind of effects would that have on me today? Is there anything I should be looking for?

1:21:33 Drew If you would have known it already, it's about neurologic development, those sorts of things. And no, if you're at 29 and haven't had any measurable effects from that, don't think that has anything to do with what's going on right now. Yeah, I know.

1:21:45 I think I'm doing all right. But to your listeners who like there was a girl earlier who was pregnant, didn't know what to do with it, get rid of it.

1:21:55 Drew I mean, you mean adopt out or do you mean abortion?

1:21:58 Either way. I mean, I'm grateful for life. But you know what? If I had a choice to either grow up in that or be aborted, I would have rather been aborted. I'm grateful for the life I've had. So I'm so thankful.

1:22:11 Drew Okay, Jenny, thanks.

1:22:12 But thank you.

1:22:13 Adam Okay. I think it locked up again.

1:22:15 Drew Oh, did it?

1:22:16 Adam Nothing else is coming through.

1:22:17 Drew Oh, boy. Always to stop with the mastectomy thing. It is Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm here with Stacy Valentine. The movie is The Girl Next Door. It is a documentary about her life, starting as a housewife with an a-hole husband in Oklahoma, chronicling her through a stardom in the adult industry and then out. Does it chronicle all the way through you getting out of the industry too?

1:22:41 Adam No, no. We had to end it. She had to end it sometime. It was only supposed to be filming for a year, but my career kept climbing and she needed an ending. So my ending was, well, I can't give away the ending. You'll have to see it.

1:22:56 Drew Fair enough. It's Love Line. We'll be back in just a minute.

1:22:58 Caller Sounds great. Sure.

1:23:38 Drew Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam Corolla is at home. He's vomiting. Yeah, he is, I guess. We've heard nothing from him since a minute before the show. Did he sound sick?

1:23:49 Caller I don't know. Do you have his number? Let's call him.

1:23:51 Drew I don't remember. I have it in my car. Anyway, my guest is Stacy Valentine. The movie is The Girl Next Door. This movie is a documentary chronicling her life. It sounds very, very interesting. It's on wide release. You can check out local releases on the website.

1:24:06 Adam www.gndmovie.com.

1:24:10 Drew gndmovie.com. She is now in the college chat room of drdp.com. She is signed in as Dr. DDPP. We're going back to the phones. Let's see. Hold on a second. This is Kim 18. Kim?

1:24:22 Caller Hi. Before I was married to my husband, we were separated for almost a year and he got another woman pregnant. And about a month after our marriage, their son was born. And he left for the army ten days after our wedding. And I have not been faithful.

1:24:47 Drew You have not been or he has not been?

1:24:49 Caller I have not been.

1:24:50 Caller Okay.

1:24:51 Drew So he's been gone. When was the wedding?

1:24:54 Caller January 8th.

1:24:55 Drew And he's been gone for four months.

1:24:58 Caller He's coming back tomorrow. I just feel this uncontrollable rage against him for what he did. We have a two and a half year old daughter together, but she has his son. And I kind of feel like...

1:25:13 Drew Wait a minute. You were separated when he got her pregnant, right?

1:25:17 Caller Yeah. The thing is that he says that he always loved me.

1:25:23 Drew Right. And is it reasonable that he might have dated other people during that year that you were apart? Yeah. Is it reasonable he might have had sexual relationships with somebody during that year, during that 12 months? Did you during that 12 months? Okay. That would be normal on both of your parts. And he had an accident, a bad judgment, I'll give you that. But it's not like his behavior was totally out of line.

1:25:47 Caller No.

1:25:47 Drew Okay. So what's the problem?

1:25:51 Caller I don't know whether I should encourage him to go back and see her and see his son.

1:25:58 Drew Well, that's his decision, I suspect. It seems to me that he ought to be focusing on his family that he's establishing with you. I certainly agree with that. But where in the hell is this rage coming from, Kim? It's not about him.

1:26:13 Caller No.

1:26:15 Caller If he still loved me and wanted me back, why didn't he take precautions with her?

1:26:20 Drew I'm sure if he could have taken it back, he would have. If you still loved him, why did you have sex with any other man?

1:26:28 Caller But I didn't.

1:26:29 Drew You didn't have a relationship during that year? No.

1:26:33 Caller I didn't think that I still loved him at the time.

1:26:36 Caller Oh.

1:26:39 Stacy Valentine I was 17.

1:26:43 Drew Kim, how old were you when your dad left?

1:26:49 Caller I came home from kindergarten and my mom was packing her stuff.

1:26:53 Drew Okay. So that's who you're really mad at.

1:26:56 Caller But my dad never actually left.

1:26:58 Caller Well.

1:26:59 Caller I still saw him on the weekends.

1:27:01 Drew He fractured the family and you felt fractured and that's what you're angry at. How dare your husband sort of put you in harm's way again. In fact, even though he hasn't, you're going to make him into your dad and act it out on him.

1:27:15 Caller Oh.

1:27:16 Drew He's not your dad. He doesn't sound like he's going to get wants to leave you. And by the way, just the fact that he's gone probably enrages you and that's why you're acting out like you are. You need to get your get your your S together here. Kim, you've got a child now. You can't go on responding to what dad had done. What do you what's the matter? Anderson's in there talking to me. You can't go on. It's time to be mom. You're 18. God knows you shouldn't be a kid at that age, but you've got it. And now that's it. No more chance to explore and experiment with your with your residual feelings and rage towards your dad. You got to get it together and get make this family work. Your husband loves you. He says he loves you. They married you. He's coming back. He wants to form a family with you. Don't start asking him to do things that's going to enrage you even more because you're pissed at your dad. Sheesh. You mad at your dad?

1:28:09 Adam Yes, I am. I haven't spoken to my father since I was 16.

1:28:11 Drew How come?

1:28:14 Adam That was abuse.

1:28:15 Drew He abused you?

1:28:16 Adam He cracked my nose. Yes, I called him a liar and he cracked my nose.

1:28:20 Drew At 16?

1:28:20 Adam Yes. I haven't spoken to him since.

1:28:23 Drew How about before? He must have been an abusive guy before that.

1:28:26 Adam He did. I believe in spanking but not when you're mad. He physically abused you. He would spank me when he was mad with a belt.

1:28:38 Drew That's physical abuse. That's physical abuse. That's where that guy came into the picture, the abusive boyfriend.

1:28:48 Adam Yeah, and husband.

1:28:49 Stacy Valentine Husband.

1:28:51 Drew Well, here's the thing about life is, excuse me, I'm going to block that. I thought it was on the web for a second. The stuff that happens to you when you're younger, you have no control over. The path you take in order to deal with that ultimately is under your control, and you get where you get by whatever means you get there. But you got to make sure that you don't get caught in any potholes along the way or in any quicksand and that you keep growing. You get through whatever that original issue was. So you can finally live as a separate person without the ghost of the past. Craig, you're 22.

1:29:32 Caller Hi.

1:29:32 Drew Hey, what's going on?

1:29:33 Caller Hey, pretty good.

1:29:35 Hey, I had a question. Can you get mononucleosis from vaginal fluid?

1:29:38 Drew Yes.

1:29:39 You can.

1:29:40 Drew It's just a fluid. It's a fluid disease.

1:29:42 Yeah, that's what I figured. It was just a body of fluid. Mucous membranes.

1:29:46 Drew Enjoy. Thank you. Bye. Greg is 20. Greg? Yes. Hey, what's going on?

1:29:50 Not too much. How you doing?

1:29:51 Caller Good.

1:29:53 All right. Here's my situation. I came from Minnesota to Washington, moved in with my teacher, one of my teachers from high school, of course, two years later.

1:30:02 Drew Why?

1:30:03 She was here and I needed a place to stay. So it worked out. And her and her husband, actually. So they gave me a place to stay. I lived with them for two or three months and then I moved out. And now I don't live with them anymore. But of course, I still stay in contact with her. And now she's got, actually, she did and has had a problem with alcohol. Right. And so I've kind of been here to support her through it all. And it's kind of escalated into more than helping.

1:30:40 Drew Oh, that's nice.

1:30:42 It's not. It's nothing super sketch or anything. It's not like nothing major has happened, like nothing infidelis or anything of the sort. Just kind of weird, weird talks and little bit of cuddling and things like that. Nothing major, though.

1:31:01 Drew Well, and she is well into her disease, right?

1:31:04 Yeah.

1:31:04 Drew And she is not going for treatment?

1:31:08 No.

1:31:09 Drew You got to get out of there. Yeah. She's an alcoholic and she's in her disease well in, and there's no telling what kind of behavior you can get trapped in here. This is a person with an illness that is running amok, and you do not want to get in the middle of this.

1:31:23 For me, it's like abandonment, though. She's my friend.

1:31:27 Drew Was your mom an alcoholic?

1:31:29 Hers?

1:31:29 Drew Yours.

1:31:30 Mine? No.

1:31:31 Drew Dad?

1:31:32 No. The closest thing, I think, was my uncle, and he's recovering now. Has been for ten years.

1:31:36 Drew Whose brother was he?

1:31:37 My dad's.

1:31:38 Drew Your dad's. Does dad have a little momentum with alcohol, maybe?

1:31:42 Does my dad? Yeah. Not at all, no. My family is completely normal. I had abuse from a neighbor, but my family has been totally cool.

1:31:51 Drew What was the abuse you had?

1:31:52 Sexual.

1:31:54 Caller Oh, boy.

1:31:56 Drew Well, Greg, listen. You can. What you've got to do is tell her she must be treated.

1:32:01 Yeah, and she knows that.

1:32:02 Drew Okay, and that's it. If she doesn't follow through, that is her choice. That's the one thing alcoholics do have a choice over, is to go ahead and access treatment.

1:32:09 True.

1:32:10 Drew And if she is not willing to do that, one of the consequences, the only way she's going to ever come to treatment is with consequence. You've got to deliver some of that consequence by leaving.

1:32:19 By leaving.

1:32:21 Drew Loss is what gets alcoholics' attention, and you may be one of the lasas, but believe me, right now she's just using you.

1:32:27 Oh, OK.

1:32:27 Drew I guarantee it. And you need to get her to treatment. You cannot treat her. You cannot support her. You are enabling her, if you do not take some action, with this person well into this disease. OK?

1:32:39 Caller All right.

1:32:39 Thank you very much.

1:32:40 Caller All right.

1:32:40 Drew Good luck.

1:32:40 Bye.

1:32:41 Drew Did we lock up here?

1:32:42 Adam I'm responding, but it's not showing up.

1:32:44 Caller Oh.

1:32:45 Drew You know what? Maybe it's scrolling so fast, it's going up the screen here or something. We can't talk about these chats, and it's about you getting a little weird on us.

1:32:54 Caller Hey, earlier when you were talking to that girl, and you asked me what I was talking about, you had almost said the S word, and I just didn't want to go on and mix up the flow. But that's what I was freaking out about.

1:33:04 Drew No, I did say it.

1:33:05 Caller And then you ended up saying it. Yeah.

1:33:06 Drew So you're a little off. You need Adam. I have to bring the Adam piece in here. OK, let's keep going. Here's one for you, Stacy. It says Levi is 19. Levi?

1:33:16 Yeah, hi, Dr. Drew.

1:33:17 Drew Hey.

1:33:18 Caller Nice to be talking to you. I'm Stacy.

1:33:20 Hey. I had a question for you. My girlfriend, I've been with her for four years. And we've had sex for about three years now. And she does not have orgasms.

1:33:35 Drew How old is she?

1:33:37 She's just turned 18.

1:33:40 Drew Hang on one sec. Is this not going on screen? Why? Oh, we're logged out. Somebody's jamming our website. All right, I'm logging Stacy off just for that. You guys, go ahead. Go ahead, Levi, talk to Stacy about this.

1:33:53 Yeah. I can't figure out why she don't have orgasms. I mean, she just, I mean, she gets...

1:34:05 Adam Has she had orgasms before? I mean, with anyone else or masturbation?

1:34:09 She's been with me and that's it.

1:34:11 Adam Okay. Has she ever tried masturbation? I think that...

1:34:15 Has she?

1:34:16 Adam Yes.

1:34:17 No. No, she doesn't do that.

1:34:21 Adam Because I, self-awareness is everything, and if she knows how she can pleasure herself, she can tell you, you know, what, you know, she can tell you, communicate to you, where to go and what feels good.

1:34:36 Right. Yeah, she, I mean, well, it's been three years now, and I mean, she, you know, she'll tell me where it feels good and everything, but it just, I mean, she's the type of person that can go without sex for, I mean, like, too much, you know, she don't have to have it. And I, on the other hand, are like, every night, you know, I want it, want it, want it, and she just...

1:34:56 Drew Levi, I gotta break in. We have to go to break.

1:34:58 Caller No problem.

1:34:59 Drew You heard what Stacy said, right? Yeah. All right.

1:35:02 Caller Appreciate it.

1:35:03 Drew All right. Stacy, we'll be back with Stacy in just a minute.

1:35:10 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:35:41 Drew Hey, it's Loveline. It's Dr. Drew. Adam missed the entire show. He missed the lovely evening with Stacy Valentine. Thank you for joining us.

1:35:47 Adam Thank you for having me.

1:35:48 Drew Appreciate you coming in. The movie is The Girl Next Door. And again, that website for checking the wide release.

1:35:54 Adam Is www.gndmovie.com.

1:35:57 Drew gndmovie.com. And tomorrow night, we've got Zach Ward from Titus, a new TV show that's getting a lot of buzz about that show. So until tomorrow night, when I expect Adam Corolla will have finished his vomming and diarrhea, if indeed this was food poisoning. Enjoy. A joy, a pleasure. And until tomorrow night, this is Dr. Drew, on behalf of Adam Corolla, saying mahalo.

1:36:20 Caller I did some gay porn in the late 70s.

1:36:23 Drew Well now.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2000